#Ted is staring at you super intently as he tells you all this

[mrbexwrites]

OC Aks

Tagged here by @kaylinalexanderbooks and passing the tag onto @queen-tashie @cowboybrunch @winglesswriter @spideronthesun @cee-grice @pure-solomon + open tag to answer the following questions:

If you could have dinner with anyone, who would you chose & why?

What is your most valuable possession? Is it for sentimental purposes, or practical?

You're on a hike, and you get separated from your party. How are you reacting, and what do you do next?

I've chosen to answer my questions as Ted, from Memento Mori Part III.

1) What was your biggest fear as a kid? Are you still afraid of that?

"I was always scared of hurting people. When you're a Millennium Citizen whose superpower is essentially being a human lie detector, but who also can't tell a lie themselves...well, there's a reason that the old adage goes 'the truth hurts'. I've gotten better at being tactful when it comes to speaking to people. Morgana calls them 'loopholes', but that fear is still there. At the back of my mind...that I'm going to say something so brutally honest, that it'll hurt someone."

2) Do you ever go on passionate rants? If so, what was it about? If not, what would it be about if you did?

"I am a huge Bruce Springsteen fan. If you ever have a few hours free, I'm more than happy to chat about the cultural impact the Boss has had on American culture and society. We can meet at Barb's Diner? I'll buy the coffee. What time will I book us a table for?"

3) What's the biggest obstacle in your life?

"As I mentioned, my powers as a Millennium Citizen. It...uh...yeah...it gets in the way at times. People like the truth as a concept, but not always in reality. It's made me lose a lot of friends over the years, and co-workers. You'd think, working in a Sheriff's Office, that being a human lie detector would be a boon...but...uh....it's not always the case."

[its-time-to-write]

Ooh I just read the other part to the baby Jamie tartt story and it was amazing!! What about where it’s bea’s first soccer game and the team shows up and Jamie is just a proud dad or she’s 2 or 3 watching her dad play and cheering super loud and getting into it!?!

Heyyo! Mixed this with another ask. It was fun to write! Thank you!

today’s a day like any other

Bea is two years old and five months, and she’s at the age where she is talking in sentences and can understand things that are happening around her. She makes little two-year-old jokes that only she understands, and her favorite person in the whole entire world is Sam Obisanya. 

You have a picture of her at her second birthday party, pointing at something while Sam holds her, both in matching Obisanya 24 kits. She can’t read, but she knows enough to tell that the markings are the same. She wears it every day it’s clean, and some days it’s not. You think it’s hilarious because Jamie has to cajole her into wearing her Baby Tartt 9 kit. 

Jamie is her second favorite person. She calls him “dada,” and shrieks whenever he comes home from training. Both of you are in your mid-twenties now, and you get stares whenever you’re out with her. The press is still the press, but they keep Bea’s face out of it when they speculate how long Jamie will keep “playing house,” or you will “put up with his antics.” They comment on young marriage and early divorce, and you and Jamie make the choice to laugh through it. 

He calls Ted about once a week for advice on marriage and fatherhood, and Rebecca stops by for lunch for you and Bea twice a week to give you advice on marriage and encourage you in motherhood. Bea adores her, almost as much as she does Sam. Almost. 

Rebecca had been hesitant at first to share, but once you said, “I’m pretty sure you know what red flags I should look for,” she laughed and went full steam ahead. 

All that to say, Bea’s favorite people are Sam, Jamie, and you, in exactly that order. (You could rank the rest of the team, but honestly it’s pretty close between some of them and they don’t need that type of competition.) 

Bea is two years old and five months, and she is at yet another football match, wearing her Obisanya 24 jersey and bouncing up and down in your arms. You’re three months along with your son name undisclosed so you can still hide it, but you’re wearing one of Jamie’s kits as opposed to your own. You put tiny lines of red and blue face paint on Bea and are standing up in Rebecca’s box, pointing things out to Bea. You point to a tiny Sam on the pitch, and Bea starts yelling, “Sam, Sam, Sam!” He can’t hear her, of course, but he’s looking around and smiling. The stadium is chanting, “Go, Sam Obisanya,” and Bea picks it up. You see Jamie nudge Sam and point up to where you’re sitting and Sam waves. Bea waves back, giggling.

“Bea, do you see Dada?” you ask. Jamie’s face is on the big screen, and she wiggles even harder. She’s practically vibrating in your arms. You think this might be the first game she actually understands enough to remember. You spend the first half narrating the game to her- “See, Sam has the ball. He’s trying to get it to Dada. Oh look, there he goes. Do you think he’s going to pass it?” 

Bea is watching intently as Jamie zips by player after player. You see him fake out Wolverhampton’s last line of defense and then the stadium erupts. He’s scored the first goal of the game. 

Bea is yelling her head off and bouncing again. Jamie looks up to where he knows you are an blow a kiss, which only makes Bea lose it more. 

On the drive home, all she can talk about is how “dada got a goal,” and “dada is my favorite.”

— 

Bea is seven years old and one month, and she is very adamant that she wants to play football. Her friends are all playing, plus she’s Beatrice fricken’ Tartt. Isn’t football in her blood?

You and Jamie tried to talk her out of it, not wanting her to feel like she had to. She insisted.

So there you are on a Saturday morning, seven months pregnant (yes, again thanks to goddamn Jamie Tartt) getting ready to cheer Bea on in her first match of the season. 

Her kit says Tartt 24 because of course it does. The teams are doing little stretches to get ready, so you smile and reach down to get a juice for four-year-old Theo (no, you don’t call him Ted) out of the cooler Jamie brought. 

“Eyy, it’s the Tartts!” says a voice. You look up to a grinning Dani. 

“Dani! What are you doing here?” you ask, grinning back.

“Couldn’t miss my favorite niece’s first match, could I? And I heard you had drinks,” he says, peering into the cooler. 

You laugh and someone else says, “let me know what’s in the cooler, bruv.” You turn, and there’s Isaac, Colin, and Michael. Dani waves to someone across the field, and it’s Sam, Jan Maas, Richard, and Bumbercatch. Roy’s Jeep screeches into the parking lot, and you see him get out followed by a flurry of pink. Of course it’s Keeley. 

“I hope I’m not late,” says another voice, and Bea runs up to say “Aunt Bex!” and does a flying leap at Rebecca. 

All of Bea’s uncles are here, minus Ted and Beard, to support her at her first game. 

You think you might cry.

Jamie, on the other hand, is looking extremely proud of himself. 

Bea is showing of her number 24, Sam is grinning proudly, Richard, Isaac, and Jan Maas are hyping her up, and Dani is doing arm curls with Theo hanging onto his wrist. 

Jamie slides his arm around your waist and presses a kiss to your neck. 

“Jamie Tartt,” you say, “did you invite all of them?”

Jamie grins. “I might’ve.“

“That might be the sweetest thing you’ve ever done. It might even make me not mad at you anymore.”

Jamie pulls away a little, indignant. “What’re you mad at me for? I haven’t done anything!”

You point to your stomach and say, “Oh really, then what do you call this?”

Jamie fixes you with a devilish grin. “Proof that I’m still fucking sexy?”

You giggle like a teenager. He is definitely still fucking sexy. 

The game is filled with wild cheers from Bea’s aunts and uncles, especially when she performs a header. 

“I taught her that,” Roy says to anyone who will listen. 

They swarm her on the field after the game’s over, uncaring if she’s won or lost. It doesn’t matter. They don’t all play for Richmond anymore, but they will always be a family. 

—

Bea is sixteen years old when she causually mentions a boy named Thomas in one of her classes. You’re all at the dinner table and Jamie doesn’t clock it, but you do. 

Jamie is only a few years out from retirement. He’s around the age Roy was when Roy hurt his knee, and although he’s still tearing it up on the pitch, you both know his time is coming to a close. 

He’s a lot sadder than he lets on, but you remind him there’s more to life. Your family has become somewhat famous, even in the States, so he’ll still have opportunities to do what he loves. Just not with the League. It’s become a bit of a routine, at this point, having the same conversation at the end of ever season. 

Just one more, Jamie promises, One more and then I’ll retire. You just hope he isn’t forced to by an injury.

But anyway, Bea’s got her eye on a boy and Jamie is completely oblivious until you bring it up that night while getting ready for bed. He’s flossing his teeth and your putting lotion on your face. 

“She fuckin’ what?” Spit goes flying. 

“Jamie, that’s disgusting. Please wipe that up.”

Jamie grabs a towel and swipes at the mirror. “How d’you know? It could just be a friend. She’s too young to be thinking like that!”

You smile. Bea’s a very thoughtful girl. You’re pretty sure she timed the name-drop with great precision and care, testing the waters. 

She’s a lot like you. 

“Babe, I just know. And, not sure if you’ve noticed, but she’s not seven anymore. Plus, I’ve seen Thomas around. He’s a very bright, respectful young man. Bea’s got a good head on her shoulders.”

Jamie pales, not listening to a thing you said. He grabs your hand. “Babe. Babe. Think about what I was like. Fucking hell, I was an absolute wanker. Oh fuck. This is not fucking good.”

He’s spiraling. He’s spiraling about his oldest daughter and it’s adorable. His hair is all crazy from running his hands through it, and his eyes are wild. You know what Jamie was like. You met a toned-down version of him, and you’re pretty sure he wouldn’t want Bea even near someone like that. You’ve heard the stories of how he was before. 

“Jaim,” you say, “it’s going to be ok. Seriously.”

“You don’t understand,” he says, hands now on your face. “I was an absolute shithead. I was rude and a fucking dick. I didn’t treat women well, or anyone well, and I don’t want Bea with someone like me.”

You understand. You’re not minimizing his concerns or apathetic about Bea, it’s just that you know the daughter you’ve raised, and you tell Jamie as much. “I know this is new for us, but she’s wonderful. And anyway, it’s not like she’s going to end up like me, twenty-two and knocked up.”

“We were married!” Jamie protests, “And twenty-two is like being a real adult!”

You raise an eyebrow. “We were barely married. And we were basically kids.” 

Jamie still looks distraught, so you place your hands on his wrists. 

“Darling, don’t worry. She’ll be ok. We made it this far being stupid, and she’s so much smarter than either of us.”

Jamie snorts, which you take as a victory. 

“And anyway,” you continue, “any boy that breaks her heart has like a million of her scary uncles to deal with. I promise, promise, promise she’ll be alright.”

Jamie smiles at that. “She does, doesn’t she?” He kisses the tip of your nose. “Suppose it’s a good thing you didn’t have any of those, otherwise we might not have gotten together.”

You laugh. “Alright, you sentimental dweeb. It’s past your bedtime.”

“Just one more kiss,” Jamie replies, and then his lips are on yours and you forget what you were even talking about, anyway. 

[derangedanomaly]

Hi! so I want to be a vet one day and I was wondering if you could write (or draw 😚) smth about how Ted comes to us for help with an animal, and we are like super knowledgeable about the animal he needs help with? Just thought that might be cute :) [Totally hasn't been rotting my brain for the past hour]

TED X VET READER

You happily hummed a melody, while walking through the woods. It's so peaceful here...and well taken care of too! Which is a surprise, since nobody lives here..

You were going more further into the woods, the atmosphere getting more heavy and dark.. you grunted in displeasure at the weirdly creepy silence. You stopped dead in your tracks, about to head back.. until you heard a loud screech sound off. What the hell was that? It sounded like an injured animal...

You quickly turned around, and searched for the sounds of screeching. It was getting louder and louder- you stopped frozen, when you were met with a big man crouching in front of a.. little deer.

You silently gasped, and covered your mouth. What is this guy doing to the poor animal?! You gathered all the courage, and took a rock. It's not like it will hurt him...but at least, you can get his attention away from the animal.

You threw the rock at him with all your might, but it did- nothing. It did absolutely nothing. You froze in shock. What the hell is this guy made of? Steel?! "S-STOP TORTURING THE...THE.......the......" Your voice lowered in volume, when the guy moved closer to you..seeming to be observing you.

His face didn't show any sight of anger..which was......weird. Anyone would be mad if they got a rock thrown at them! He was wearing a greenish sweater, and had a hole in his head... You gulped slightly at the sight of it..

He suddenly reached out, which made you tightly shut your eyes. What is he gonna do? Kill you? You braced yourself for a hit, but only felt his hand softly touch your forehead. You gasped in surprise. Staring at him. He leaned in closer to you... You were pretty nervous about his next move.. you got startled when you heard a voice whisper in your ear...his voice.

"Can you...help me... Heal this... animal..?" Your heartbeat sped up, hearing his voice ring in your ear.. it was rough, and strained...like he wasn't used to talking much. You slowly nodded to his question.. if help is all he wants..then you won't deny him.

So here you were. Sitting on the grass, the panting deer in front of you, and the man beside you. You tried to have a conversation with him, while you were checking the deer out.. but he refused to speak again. Only responding with nodding or shaking his head.

"Wel...the deer is fine, just needs-" you were explaining him in great detail about what is wrong with the animal, while he was intently watching you. "—Did you get all that?" He nodded, making you smile sweetly at him. He seems less scary than the first time, now spending almost the whole day with him.

"Do you live here?" This question got him startled, as he looked at you with a tilt of his head. "Well..I mean...you look like you know your way around this forest.. I thought you lived here." He shook his head at your question, starting to point at the scenery around you.. he was trying to tell you something..

"oh! You mean- that you're only taking... care of it?" He seemed ecstatic, as he smiled widely, nodding. "Oh...so that's why this forest looks to be in a very good shape." He looked almost proud, as he smiled down at you.

This wasn't the same frightening man looming over you, giving you creepy stares..this man was just a giant sweetie...

Deciding to spend more time with him, you happily followed him while he was showing you the forest, pointing at things. Seems like this trip wasn't such a disaster after all.

[pretoriafics]

Therapy sessions with the devil

I'd did this request yesterday on my Portuguese blog, and I thought that you guys would love it!

Anonymous asks: Y/N is a therapist who works for Vought and is doing a few evaluations on the Super.

Word count: 1.806 Contain: Therapist!Reader x Homelander Warnings: Mention of sexual violence, mention of serial killers, mention of cases of children with psychopathy, mental disorders. +16 only Versão em português aqui  PART 2 THE BOYS MASTERLIST

Your profession was gratifying.

You loved the idea of helping people, getting to know each other better, and getting them to learn to deal with life's challenges. For you, being a kind of "confidant", where people could talk about their lives without any judgments, was an honor and your purpose. You believed that it would make the world a better place.

However, it also had its burdens. Some things were difficult to hear, even for you with all your knowledge and professional background. Patients who suffered from sexual violence, for example, demanded of you a stomach that you were not always able to have. It was something you talked to your therapist about, and you kept a mantra in mind: After all, you were still human, and it was okay to feel that way.

And when Vought invited you to work as a therapist for The Seven, you went nuts. It was the chance of a lifetime!

Or, at least, this was what you thought at the beginning.

It was not uncommon for you to hear things that made your stomach a little sick, just like when The Deep told you about the way he “welcomed” Starlight. You felt nauseous but, on the outside, remained impassive, just watching him as a silent request to continue to talk.

All of them were, simply, not only media products but also puppets of the advertising world. You already had some political patients, and in fact, you thought The Seven was a similar case: Both went to that market with the intention, many times, to help people. However, they ended up corrupted in the middle of the road, forgetting their whole purpose in helping others.

You saw a point in common between The Seven: Everyone, with perhaps the exception of Starlight, was too worried about their own egos to be real heroes. They were all too narcissistic.

But Homelander was the worst of them.

The childhood phase was the most important part of a person's life. A traumatic childhood could lead to a troubled adult, as in the case of Mary Bell and Beth Thomas. Homelander's case was no different: his non-affectionate childhood, being raised as a laboratory rat, was the bigger reason to make him that kind of man.

Although at the same time you were fascinated about to study a mind like that - since one of the reasons why you did psychology would be to unveil the secrets of the human mind - each therapy session was daunting and made you rethink your job at Vought.

In short, you were interviewing a serial killer. Easily one of the most cruel and unhealthy.

"Good morning, Homelander." Your voice was soft, just like the smile you gave to the super who just sat on the couch.

"Good morning, Doctor." He returned the smile to you, but the smile on his own way: The corners of your mouth pulled to the side in a smile that you recognized as fake.

"So..." You put your hands on your knee, looking at him with the best receptive look you could pretend. There, in that office, your sessions with Homelander made you feel you deserved an Oscar "How was your week?"

“Well…” He lay down on the couch, his blue eyes staring at the ceiling, and his hands joined in front of his stomach “Nothing new. In fact, he had a little incident with Maeve. Sometimes she is so… pathetic. ”

"What happened?"

It took a while for Homelander to actually get some confidence in you. In fact, he only started telling you things in detail when he realized he could get something out of the sessions. They were productive to him, they made him think. You didn't know if you were thanking God for getting something out of him, or if you should cursing yourself because of the horrors he tells you.

"Maybe you saw something about the 37 Flight on the news."

"The one who had been captured by the terrorists?"

"Exactly! Maeve and I had to rescue the plane. We managed to take down the terrorists, but when I killed the last one, in the Pilot's cabin, I hit the plane's controls with the lasers. And then, the flight was doomed. I told Maeve that our job was done and we should leave, but she was reluctant. He wanted me to save the passengers! ” He laughed, but a natural one. "Can you believe that?"

Oh, it was going to be a long therapy session...

"And what happened next?"

“What did she want me to do? That I fly 137 times from the plane to land? Ah, pathetic, pathetic! ” He shook his head, clearly humorous. "Now, just imagine: You are on a flight with 137 people shouting 'Help, Homelander!', While your stupid partner insists that you should do something to save everyone. I was losing patience so I threatened everyone with my eyes, and they finally settled down. I don't blame them, I mean, they are so vulnerable. They are bugs! ” He looked at you, the corners of his mouth pulled in a fake smile. "No offense."

Homelander was a cold-blooded killer. Not only, but like Ted Bundy, he was a narcissist. He liked the feeling of power that invaded his body when he saw that people feared him, and when he felt that he had the power to decide whether that person would live or not. He didn't mind if killing people just for fun was against the law. Homelander didn't care about the law or any kind of rules. Furthermore, just as Bundy believed he was fully capable of defending himself in his court's judgment and did not need lawyers, Homelander thought he was an incarnate God walking among the 'bugs', simply because he had powers.

"And how do you feel about Maeve?"

“She bothered me a little with the drama on the plane, but that's okay. I am sure that after I spoke to the journalists, near the wreckage of the flight, she understood. This is all going to be an excellent opportunity to make our presence in the army happen. ”

A sociopath.

Empathetic behaviors aren't part of him. He was unable to have that feeling. Self-centered, Homelander was unable to love. The relationship he had with Stiwell, for example, was far from loving. He didn't feel it, quite the opposite: Homelander had a feeling of possession with her. She was his, and nobody else's.

A doubt hammered in your head: Homelander was intending to drop the plane? Your stomach was upset, you felt bad about that therapy session. How could Vought leave someone like him in The Seven?

The answer was simple: They didn't care. Homelander was profitable, and that was all that mattered.

That was one of the times when you thanked God that Homelander was self-centered enough to lie on the couch and just think about your own life, instead of analyzing you and realizing that you were completely terrified. It was as if a misstep, a wrong word, was going to cost his life.

And you would end that today.

You conducted the therapy session normally. In the end, you shook hands with Homelander as you always did and closed the door. Tears invaded your face as you thought of each life that was lost in vain on that flight, and, worse, you were sure that Maeve would tell you about the flight at her therapy session, early next week. In an attempt to calm down, you took some coffee and sat down in front of your MacBook. There, sipping coffee, you wrote your resignation letter.

Alright. You were free.

Or at least this was what you thought.

 * * *

Another week has started, and the fact that you worked at Vought made you get a more comfortable office, in addition to increasing your service price. You were ending your day. Your last patient had left the office, and you were about to go home when you heard a familiar voice from your couch.

"I miss you in the tower."

Homelander looked at you with his pairs of sick blue eyes, his fake smile, and his murderous hands behind his body. He was standing next to the couch, and you felt your whole body freeze. A lump formed in your throat, and your hands vibrated in pure dread.

So he would kill you there? In your office?

Trying to take control of the situation, you faked a slight smile.

“Sorry, Homelander. I didn't saw you here. Need something?"

"Actually, I do." He started walking towards you slowly. "I didn't want to end our sessions, so I came to ask you what our new schedule is going to be."

You narrowed your eyes.

"I thought Vought was going to hire someone else to work with The Seven in my place."

“In fact, they put an incompetent in your place. I really prefer that we continue where we left off. ” He stopped in front of you with his smile, his eyes emanating pure insanity "I like our therapy sessions."

“I'm glad that you like my job and that you appreciate our results, Homelander” You gave him a smile, but inside you were still in pure dread “But I don't have appointments available. My schedule filled up easily after I came to this new office. ”

“Oh, but I'm sure you can fit me in your schedule. I can pay you well. ”

How to say no to Homelander without putting your life at risk?

You walked over to your tablet, on your desk. You took it in hand and slid your finger on the screen, analyzing awhile. You didn't need him to tell you that you would be paid well. In fact, you were fully aware of that. The point was that you could exchange all the money in the world to be at peace, without having to deal with Homelander. Without much choice, you concluded that you would reserve a single day for your therapy sessions with him. That way, your head wouldn't get so tired when you still had to deal with other patients.

“Are you available on Friday morning? At nine."

He nodded, giving the same smile he did when he achieved something. One of pure contentment.

"Of course!"

"Great so." You typed 'Homelander' in the space corresponding to the hour. You put the tablet down on the table, next to your MacBook “There, it's done. Friday, at nine in the morning. ”

“Ah, perfect! Thank you. Have a good night."

"Good night, Homelander."

He walked over to your balcony. With a jump, he flew through the sky. You lay on your couch, terrified. Would you never get rid of him?

All that was left for you now was to be the therapist of the incarnate Devil.

[fantasy2739]

Prompt jamie and Ted father/son bonding please. 🥺🥺 Whether playing video games, watching a movie idk just wholesome lol

Ted Jamie father son??? Sign me up!!

Also I am currently emotionally wrecked after 2x08 so if anyone needs me I will be crying over hug and phone call (iykyk)

Anyway, enjoy!!

Jamie isn’t entirely sure what he’s doing at Ted’s. Only that he’s there. He feels like he missed a trick somewhere. Maybe he was lured here. Like by one of them mermaids. Wait no, sirens. Yeah like a siren call. Point is, he’s here. In Ted’s flat. On the fucking couch. Ted’s pottering around the kitchen.

“Tea?” He calls.

“Nah, that’s an old person drink.” Jamie says. “It’s gross.” He refrains from cracking a comment about how much Roy drinks it. Fucking senior citizen.

“Finally, someone who understands.” Ted says. “Garbage water. Coffee?”

“Yeah.” Jamie agrees and a steaming mug is placed in front of him. Ted sinks into the chair next to him with his own mug. He’s smiling at Jamie, like he’s waiting for him to start talking. Jamie thinks he’d rather not. Because he’s got no clue what to say.

“Now I know you didn’t come all this way to enjoy my coffee.” Ted says when it’s clear Jamie isn’t going to say anything. Jamie shrugs. “Wanna talk about it?”

“Not really.” Jamie admits.

“Should you talk about it?” Ted asks, which is oddly comforting. Jamie shakes his head in the negative.

“Can we just talk, do something else?” He asks, his voice coming out slightly cracked. Something in Ted’s face softens.

“Sure thing mr bling.” He says. He pulls a face. “Oh I do not like that. Hmmm. Thing. Thing. Sing? No that makes no sense. Ooh king, huh. Sugar king, little king?” Jamie snorts at that. Ted grins like it was his intention all along. Probably was the sly asshole. “Now let’s see, something to do, something to do. Hmmm ooo I have some board games. Y’all got Ludo over here?”

“With like the dice and meeple and shit?” Jamie asks. He realises that it might be a little vague given how many games include dice and shit. Ted’s understood though, and scarpered off to unearth the board. He places the board on his coffee table.

“Alright now we both know the rules?” He asks, all polite. Jamie just nods. “Good, but I should warn you I am a champ at this game. And I won’t go easy on you.” Jamie gives him a look that says ‘try it’ and it’s on.

Jamie’s always kind of sucked at board games. He never really played them, far too invested in sports, tv, dating. His mum had played a few with him, usually mercilessly wrecking him and telling him he was a sweetheart for letting an old gal like her win. It’s not that he doesn’t get the rules or anything, it’s just not something he’s invested a lot of time in. Or thought really. So sitting cross legged on Ted’s floor, eagerly leaning over the game of Jenga that Ted brought out, is a new kind of feeling. It’s a happy one. Ted had, as expected, beaten him at Ludo. He’d been super encouraging the whole time though.

“Uh I believe you touched that one.” Jamie points out, watching Ted like a hawk. “House rules.” Ted scrunches his nose but agrees and begins the task of trying to work out his best to pull the piece out. Ted closes one eye and manages, by some kind of miracle, to get the single piece neatly out of the Jenga tower.

“The laws of physics salute me.” Ted says with a grin. Jamie almost wants to grump but watching the tower drop neatly down was kind of fucking impressive. Jamie plays it safe. Taking a piece from a row that still has three.

“Go on then, dazzle us.” Jamie teases. Ted pulls of another insane move, leaving Jamie to feel the pressure. Unfortunately, he picks the wrong piece and the whole thing tumbles.

“Fuck!” Jamie yelps, more in surprise at the pieces flying everywhere than annoyance. Ted laughs a little.

“Alright, loser takes some punishment.” Ted says, still chortling. Jamie freezes slightly, because this was just meant to be fun. Fuck he hadn’t actually been bothered by losing. Fuck. “You ticklish Jamie?” Jamie stares at Ted like he just asked him streak around Richmond or something.

“What?” He asks.

“Ticklish.” Ted repeats. Jamie flushes slightly because he is. He’s just never really admitted to it because it’s embarrassing. Who the fuck wants to be ticklish? Ted raises his hands and waggles his fingers expectantly. Jamie’s off like a shot. They’re sprinting around Ted’s appartement, with Jamie at one point diving over the bed to escape. They’ve definitely pissed off Ted’s upstairs neighbour, Mrs Ship or whatever. They’re back in the living room and Jamie is leaning against the couch, moving side to side to avoid Ted like he’s got a fucking chainsaw.

“Can’t I just, do like a shot of cinnamon or something?” Jamie asks. Ted drops his hands, waggling fucks, and stares.

“No that’s disgusting. It’ll dry your mouth out faster than the Nevada desert.” He says.

“I could shot tea.” Jamie offers, raising one eyebrow and pointing at Ted. Ted thinks about it.

“Garbage water it is.” He agrees and Jamie sags in relief. He doesn’t hate tea and the cup Ted makes him is more sugar than tea.

“You trying to ruin my sexy body?” Jamie asks as he takes a sip.

“I figured it would taste better with more sugar.” Ted says. “Don’t all y’all kids like sugar.” Jamie shrugs like he doesn’t mind either way. Ted shrugs too, ambling off to tidy up the mess they made. Jamie sits back on the floor, sipping at his tea and grimacing. How the fuck Roy drinks this shit, he doesn’t know. Just as he sets the mug down a blanket appears at him. He flinches slightly but picks it up.

“What’s this for?” Jamie asks, like Ted’s handed him a fucking book again or some shit.

“It gets cold round this time.” Ted says simply. “C’mon now budge up, I’m thinking it’s time for a movie.” Jamie does as he’s told because when in Reno right? Ted’s moving back and forth between the kitchen and suddenly there’s popcorn, hula hoops and crisps. Ted grabs another blanket (fuck there’s a lot of blankets floating about) and settles down next to Jamie. Jamie tugs the blanket (Richmond fucking blue of course) and wraps it round himself. Ted’s talking and moving his hands, discussing the pros and cons of the movies on Netflix. Jamie settling his back against the couch and listens half heartedly. The control lands in his lap and he sort of stares at it. Ted’s smiling at him. Jamie has no clue what to watch.

So he sticks on fucking Toy Story.

At some point, he dozes. Maybe because he’s tired, or because he’s seen Toy Story a thousand times, or because he just feels like he can. He ends up smushed against Ted, eyes heavy, before his body just caves and he’s out. It’s warm and cosy, and there’s an arm reaching round him to cuddle. He’s almost missed cuddling. And most of the men he grew up around weren’t exactly… well they weren’t the cuddling type. Ted clearly is because he’s tugged Jamie close, soothingly rubbing his arm up and down.

He wakes up the next morning on the couch, wondering when the fuck that happened. He’s a light sleeper usually. He doesn’t have time to ponder it as Ted pops into view.

“Morning Jamie, cereal?” He asks, like this is the most normal thing in the world. Like players regularly crash on his couch.

As Jamie stretches and drags himself out of the makeshift bed he realises.

It feels right to him.

[dumbdotcomm]

lessons in opposites

(a/n) a commission for my pal @fanfic-inator795! enjoy some raph and donnie bonding !

It’s not that Raph really prefers one brother over the other; he’s been blessed with three great brothers and one fantastic sister and Raphael is grateful every day, as sure as he’s got life and breath in him, he’s so grateful that he’s not alone. 

April asks, just for laughs, for a silly documentary on their Lair Games, if Raph had a favorite brother; and off the bat, on instinct, he wants to deny that he does. He loves them all. But then he blurts out Mikey’s name without thinking and then things start to shift, and Raph starts to wonder if he’s a terrible brother for that.

“It’s not a big deal, Raph,” Donnie says, after having seen the clips of how little faith his brothers had in his athleticism, and that one little clip of Raph easily admitting Mikey was his favorite, followed up by Leo, “It’s just a joke…”

But he says it in the way that’s pinched and just a little forced like he does when he takes hard hits and bad falls and just wants to laugh it off because he’s fine. 

Raph swallows, nods, presses a smile that feigns belief in Donnie’s words, but he can’t stop glancing over at his brother’s face the whole rest of the time they watch April’s (incredibly edited) documentary film. 

His brother keeps his eyes downcast and does that thing where he wrings his hands till they get weirdly slick with this mucusy stuff. 

Like when he’s hurt and holding back. 

And Raph makes a silent promise, then, that he’ll definitely make it up to his brother.

---

Life has a funny way of just screwing plans and promises over. Raph trains extra with his father on early mornings, learning to think, to focus, to get his fears under control. Donnie locks himself into work by the time training is over, and then they go patrol and watch something on Netflix and then the day is spent and it’s 4am. 

So it’s not exactly intentional, the way their paths just don’t cross long enough for Raph to really get the chance to make it up to Donnie. But it’s still shitty and Raph knows there’s something he can do- he has to. 

And so he googles a bunch of stuff going on in Manhattan, something that wouldn’t be so obviously intended on compensating for basically saying Don is his least favorite brother. Something Donnie won’t suspect, because if he did- 

“If you asking me is a way of ‘reparations’ for the Lair Games documentary, Raph…”

“It’s not-” Raph raises his arms in innocence, and crosses over his plastron, “Turtle’s honor, Donnie. ‘S just the guys...they’ll be all ‘that’s lame’, and you…”

“Wouldn’t think a teddy bear world is lame?” Donnie quirks his perfectly drawn brow and cocks his head a little at Raph.

This is going abysmally, but not quite in a way that wasn’t expected. Raph bites his own tongue from just spilling his intentions heartfeltly- because he can’t scare his brother off right now. He’s gotta play it cool. 

“Uhhh, I mean, I-”

“Because you’d be pretty accurate,” Donnie interjects, and despite his voice remaining flat, his lips curve into a ghost of a smile, and Raph’s heart stops pounding so hard, “I was wondering when you would finally ask one of us, ugh a dream come true.”

Raph genuinely cannot tell if Donnie is being sarcastic, though roughly fifteen years of training has at least let him gather, from that weird way his brother’s eyes got super overbright when he was excited, that Donnie really, like super straight up, means it. 

“Wow…. well, aight then,” Raph laughs with his words, still not believing how easy it was to simply…ask to spend time with his brother, “Just pick a disguise and we good!”

“Yup, normal disguise. Friday it ‘tis,” Donnie returns the laugh, a touch awkward, before taking his sandwich back to his lab. 

And the slightly manic look that Raph catches in his brother, just as he slips from view, makes a lot of little pieces in Raph’s head come together, like a little, horrifying jigsaw puzzle.

Because Raph has been blessed with having Donnie as a brother for fourteen years, he knows a terrible plan forming when he sees one. 

-----

Donnie takes pride in his intellect, like not in a super cocky way, he’s just glad he’s been gifted with the ability to make a pea shooter in one afternoon that also has the capability to laser off a bastard’s face. 

Still he’s not too prideful to admit that he’s sometimes stupid as hell, in the emotional department, and social department. And while that’s not exactly ideal, Donnie’s got four pretty incredible siblings to lean on for that and so he doesn’t really complain about the impossibility of picking up social cues. 

But sometimes, like when his older brother is standing across from him uncomfortably stiff, babbling on about Teddy Bear Town- well sometimes Donnie kinda wishes he did get it. 

It’s only until he’s stacking his third layer of his sandwich that Donnie really understands what this is all about. Because Raph’s got his ‘I’m nervously trying to make it up to you’ stink, and then Donnie remembers the documentary, and Raph’s commentary, and the really…awful way Donnie pretended not to feel afterwards. 

He doesn’t want Raph to pity invite him, he doesn’t need that. And Donnie’s gonna make sure his brother knows he’s fine- he’s chill and and he’s okay with potentially being Raph’s least favorite. 

So he’s supposed to respond to Raph nonchalantly, to just go with Raph and be cool about it but- 

“Shelldon, download all the info you can find on Teddy Town…”

-----

“Rise and shine, bud!” 

Donnie must’ve drank four extra shots of espresso to be this hype this early, and Raph grips the steering wheel of the Turtle Tank a little harder to try and not smell so nervous. Because there’s no way Donnie could have actually known what Raph’s intentions were, like he had to have just thought that this was a normal thing, and not a ‘I’m so sorry I made you feel less than appreciated, please forgive me’ type of thing. 

And Donnie is definitely onto something, even if he’s not onto Raph. He’s just got that glint in his eyes, and Raph feels just a little bit selfish for wanting this to be a normal day- for his brother to  just be-

“Uh...thanks for taggin’ along,” Raph doesn’t intentionally cut Donnie off, but his brother’s talking a mile a minute about the history of Teddy Bear Town and Raph knows that he’s only doing it because he feels he has to. 

Donnie stops himself, blinks, and puts his hands in the pockets of his hoodie, “It’s no big deal…” he says, in complete contrary to his hyperactive Ted Talk, “Being benched for a sprained ankle was shit, needed to get out anyway…”

He glances over at Raph and looks instantly, incredibly smaller. 

Raph thumbs the steering wheel, drumming against it in thought, in a search for words. 

He doesn’t have to do this kinda stuff with Mikey, and Leo never shuts up- and Donnie is just…

“Bluetooth, connect to my phone,” Donnie says abruptly, before Raph even gets the chance to think of something to say. 

And they stay quiet, listening to music the whole way there.

------

Things feel significantly less awkward in the bigger crowd. Raph is grateful for all the noise and movement that he can shift his focus on, instead of the downcast way Donnie’s been carrying himself since halfway through their ride over here. 

And Raph’s always kinda felt his younger brother had a tough time expressing himself- that they were different that way. That Raph carried his heart on his sleeve and that his brother didn’t. But now he’s starting to see that maybe he’s got some things twisted. That he and Donnie are a lot more alike in these things than Raph thought. 

“Stay close,” he tells his brother, because as aloof as humans are, they’re still humans, and they don’t always accept what’s different.

Raph remembers telling Donnie that, when they first met April, when Donnie surprisingly was the first to reach out and grab her little hand and compare it to his. And Donnie had looked at him weird, and yeah, well humans aren’t the only ones that don’t understand ‘different’. 

The memory hits Raph so suddenly, and almost makes him miss a step. 

He turns to find Donnie staring at him, which must mean Donnie noticed, because of course he did.

And Raph stares back because oh. Holy shit. 

“Uh…” Donnie glances around awkwardly, “Raph, you’re giving off a weird...vibe right now. You good-”

“Can we talk?” Raph blurts out, and surveys their surroundings, for a place to dip, “Like real quick?” 

Donnie looks like he wants to bolt now, which would be ideal in the packed hallway of the mall. But he doesn’t. He just swallows and darts his eyes and nods.

Sure. 

Pros to being trained ninjas is the ability to disappear quickly, and they find a quiet, tucked away spot where Raph finally lets himself breathe. 

“You’re different,” he says it quickly and rushed and Donnie’s eyes briefly widen in some sort of surprise, but Raph presses on despite his sloppy start, “You….you think different, you think, like, way smarter than us, an’ you make different jokes and express differently an’ that doesn’t. It’s not bad, Donnie.” 

His brother keeps his eyes to the ground, kicking gently at nothing, “I don’t care that you said I’m your least favorite, Raph,” he mumbles. 

“But you do,” Raph counters back, and keeps his voice leveled, tries not to talk to Donnie too softly or else he’d feel babied, “And that’s normal, and I wish I could say that what I said wasn’t...I dunno, like a…”

“Reflection of how you feel?” Donnie poses, but his words aren’t angry, even if Raph feels his brother’s got full rights to be.

He sighs, deflating a little, “Yeah...yeah, I guess it’s that. But not because I think...it’s because I get really...weirdly insecure man. You’re a freaking genuis and I know you never try an’ make us feel dumb, but- and then we’re both super bad at words and I just… I dunno Dee.”

Raph takes the extra step to go close the distance between him and Donnie, and Donnie stiffens up- at first, for just a couple of seconds, “But I love you, ‘cause you’re an awesome person, and ya not my least favorite. You’re not. And ya don’t gotta pretend you’re cool with everything.”

Donnie pulls back, a dorky smile on his face, which is infinitely better than the sad way he looked earlier, even better than the way he pretended like everything was good and it wasn’t.

“You don’t have to pretend either,” Donnie says, unlocking their eye contact, and staring back at his feet, “I know you were trying to...to make it up to me, but. You could’ve- you didn’t have to invite me.”

“But I wanted to,” Raph says it and means it with everything he’s got, “Really, Donnie. A-and I wanted to do somethin’ that ya wouldn’t think was me just tryna get on your good side, ya know. Somethin’ we could just...do.”

“And I messed up, the whole info-dumping….” 

He’s doing it again, he’s making himself smaller and Raph’s not allowing that. 

“Okay, half of that stuff, I woulda never known- and ya looked all’a that up just to get to understand me better. I just didn’t want you...t’ think you had to...say all that.”

“And I didn’t want you to think you had to invite me,” Donnie quips back, but ends it with a small smile, “So I guess we’re in the same proverbial boat.”

Raph snorts, “The boat of insecurity…”

And Donnie, stiff and awkward and still full of feeling, takes his turn to hug Raph fully this time, “Screw that boat.”

-----

In the end Donnie makes his bear with a shitton of detail, getting so wrapped up in it that they spend a couple hours there.

And Raph’s bear is simple, not all that complex like his brother’s- but that’s more than okay, actually.

Their differences were more than okay.

[etherealwaifgoddess]

A Good Night’s Sleep, Pt.2

Main Characters: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: Bucky finally gets you out on a date and you both find yourselves falling fast.

Warnings/ Content: nothing in this one, just witty banter and flirting.

Word Count: 3.6k

Author’s Note: Hello lovelies, here’s part two as promised. Part three is coming as soon as this is up. Tagging the amazing @marinaaniseed as this series was born of her idea :) 

You can read part one HERE if you missed it. XOXO - Ash

A Good Night’s Sleep, Part Two

Even with Tony Stark’s connection it takes a week to get a table at Sapori. Bucky hates the idea of waiting that long to see you again but is appeased by intermittent bursts of texts. He’s noticed you get lost in your work for hours at a time and then will do nothing but text back and forth with him for a while until you get distracted and lost in your work again. It’s sweet how much you love what you do and Bucky makes a point to read a few of your works. He’s impressed by the way you illustrate details in your writing, the way it makes him feel like he’s experiencing things for himself through your words. You screech happily to your cat when Bucky tells you that and you reply that it was the best compliment you’ve ever received. 

The night of your date you pull out all of the stops, your best jeans and blouse that are just suggestive enough while still being classy. You let your hair dry naturally, letting it do it’s thing creating natural waves. Your makeup is minimal but you choose a dark, bold pink that makes your lips pop, emphasizing their size. It helps play off the way the jet black mascara makes your eyes seem a little larger too. You give yourself an appraising once over and decide that Bucky Barnes isn’t going to know what hit him.  

Across town, Bucky can’t get his life together. Or so Sam says while he and Steve chuckle at Bucky’s growing distress. “Be serious guys!” he complains at his so-called best friends. Bucky is wearing his nicest black jeans and is holding out two sweaters, one pale blue and one charcoal grey, at them to help decide.

“Grey.” Steve chooses finally.

“With your black leather jacket.” Sam adds. 

Bucky lets out an exasperated thank you, relieved they finally helped.

He pulls on the sweater and approves of the way it brings out the grey in his eyes. His hair is left down and it curls around his shoulders in a way he hopes looks artful instead of messy. There’s just enough time to grab his shoes and get out the door and he hurries past Sam and Steve with a more heartfelt thank you thrown in this time.

The lobby of Sapori is packed when you arrive. You’re fifteen minutes early, you found an Uber faster than you had expected, and you don’t feel like waiting outside for that long until Bucky arrives. Instead, you shoot him a text that you’re there and you’ll be waiting at the bar. You’re past the point in your life where you look at alcohol as liquid courage but it would be nice to have a drink to unwind a little while you wait. You flag down the bartender and order your usual drink, chuckling to yourself softly when you realize the irony of it. Bucky should get a kick out of it too.

After rushing past an obscene number of slow moving pedestrians, Bucky needs a minute before entering the dimly lit restaurant. He’s sure he’s sweating right through his clothes and his hair is sticking slightly at the nape of neck. The sweat isn’t from exertion, it’s just nerves. The man who took on HYDRA is petrified of sharing dinner with a beautiful woman. Oh how the mighty have fallen, he berates himself. Smoothing out his clothes and fixing his hair one last time, Bucky takes a deep breath and pushes through the revolving door. 

It takes his eyes a minute to adjust to the low lighting but once they do, he’s searching for you immediately. He finds you standing at a hightop table by the bar, a lowball glass in your hand, reading something intently on your phone. Bucky freezes as he takes you in; you’re stunning and he suddenly feels like a schlub. Your dark jeans are molded perfectly to your body, emphasizing the curves of your ass and thighs. The cream colored blouse drapes around you like gossamer, highlighting your figure without being clingy, the neckline low enough that it promises a hint of cleavage if you move just right. And god help him, Bucky prays you move just right at some point this evening. 

“What are you drinking?” Bucky asks when he finally approaches you.

You look up at him, pleasantly surprised to see him a few minutes early. “An old fashioned.” you say with a smirk.

Bucky chokes out a laugh. He can’t keep up with your wit, always unsure if you’re joking or serious. “You like old fashioneds, huh?”

Your smirk widens, “They’re my go-to drink. Though they seem a little extra appropriate now.” 

“Well, even as a living antique, I can honestly say I’ve never tried one.” 

“You’re missing out, old man. Let’s go fix that.” You step over to the bar, signaling the bartender who comes down and with a second drink for you. You hand over the glass to Bucky, anticipation written on your face. If he hates it you won’t mind drinking another but you’ll have to pace yourself. 

Bucky sips the drink, realizing it’s just whiskey with a little sugar and a sliver of orange. It’s mostly whiskey though. “It’s good. Not sure what’s old fashioned about whiskey, but it’ll do.” 

“They’re actually older than you. Back in the late 1800s the only cocktails were sugar, bitters, and a dash of water added to some type of brown liquor. As the times changed, newer more elaborate cocktails were invented and the varieties were endless after that. The older generation didn’t care for the new cocktails going around so they would order an old fashioned cocktail, the kind they were used to. After a while the name stuck and now we have old fashioneds.” 

Bucky stared at you, amazed. 

“And thank you for coming to my TED Talk.” you say with a self deprecating laugh. 

“Sorry. I’m just. I’m impressed is all.” Bucky makes a mental note to Google what a TED Talk is later. He knows you’re making light of your knowledge but it was damn impressive to him. 

“Nah, I just took a mixology class a few times for fun. I can also make a mean s’mores martini.” 

“You’ll have to show me sometime.” Bucky checks his watch and realizes you’re now five minutes late for your reservation, “Ready to go eat? I should at least let them know we’re here.” 

“Yeah, let’s go.” 

Bucky leads the way, the crowd clearing for him naturally due to either his height or the width of his black leather clad shoulders. He’s an impressive specimen of man and you’re still a little floored that he’s here with you. Talking to him has been so easy, almost like old friends, and you forget most of the time that he’s not just a cute guy you met at a coffee shop, he’s Bucky Barnes: super soldier, former assassin, current Avenger.  

The maitre d’ shows you to your table, a secluded little spot in the back, and Bucky adds thank Tony Stark to his mental to-do list. The table is far enough removed from the rest of the main dining room that he won’t feel overwhelmed by the large number of people, his back is to a wall and his sightlines are clear. He couldn’t have picked a better table himself and it helps his nerves relax just a little bit more. Bucky wants the date to go well but part of him, the part his therapist keeps telling him to not validate, reminds him it’s only a matter of time until he screws something up. 

A tall, thin, man in a well pressed uniform arrives a moment later, before Bucky can even try to rekindle your conversation. He deposits a basket of warm fresh bread and fills your water glasses from a carafe. After reciting the specials of the day he disappears as quickly as he arrived. 

“We’ll have to get another basket of this when he comes back.” Bucky tells you while taking two thick slices out of the basket. He layers on the butter, careful to leave you half but still enjoying himself immensely. “They make the bread and the butter themselves” he says with a dreamy smile.

You laugh lightly, taking a piece for yourself, “You really love it here, don’t you?”

Bucky nods, taking a bite of his bread.

You scan the menu while you chew. Bucky was right, you’re definitely going to need more of the bread, it’s incredible. The menu is simple and filled with long standing Italian classics. You’re tempted by the gnocchi since Bucky spoke so highly of it, but the chicken picata sounds good too. You tell Bucky as much when he asks what you’re going to have and he laughs. “Just get both, that’s what I do.” 

You shake your head, “Yes, but you can eat two entrees. I can’t.” 

“That’s what leftovers are for. Come on, get both. Tonight’s on Tony’s dime anyway, he owed me.” 

“Tony Stark owed you dinner at Sapori?” you ask in disbelief.

“No, he owed me a favor, period. He’d be down another Iron Man suit if it wasn’t for me. A dinner out is a lot less money and hassle than a new suit, so don’t feel too bad for him.”

You stare at him a moment, his life is so surreal. “Okay, fine. Two entrees it is. Thank you, Mr. Stark.” you raise your glass in salute before taking a sip.

“Now, how do you feel about appetizers?” Bucky asks, flipping through his menu. 

If the waiter is shocked by the mass quantity of food you’ve ordered he hides it well. You’re looking forward to trying a little of everything and having days worth of leftovers to enjoy. Bucky is working his way through the second breadbasket when the waiter deposits your appetizer, a large platter of fritta. It’s a mix of vegetables and seafood, all deep fried in a light, crispy batter. Various little pots of sauces are set around the platter, enticing you to try the different combinations.

Bucky is the perfect dinner companion. He is always willing to share bits of this and that, able to keep an interesting conversation going, and the quiet lulls feel natural instead of awkward. You learn about his childhood and family, about all the things he’s enjoyed since coming out of Cryo, and the the things he still wants to do with his life. Bucky’s approach to life is this irreverent enthusiasm that you can’t help but get swept up in. Yes, he’s lived through unspeakable horrors, but he’s not letting it define him and you admire him more than words can say. He’s also an engaged listener, asking you questions about your life and your job as a writer. The fact that he took the time to read some of your work still blows your mind and you can’t hide the way a blush spreads from your cheeks all the way down your throat when he starts talking excitedly about an article you wrote on the impact of social media on mental health. 

By the time the waiter brings the check you’re both still picking at the remnants of your tiramisu, unwilling for the night to end. There’s a heaviness to the air that wasn’t there before, brought on by the impending goodbye. You don’t ever go home with a guy on the first date, nor do you invite them back to your place. You don’t see anything wrong with it, you just never felt compelled to rush into bed with a guy. Until now. But Bucky isn’t a modern man, and he likely won’t even think to initiate anything beyond a goodnight kiss. You wish he would though. 

The conversation had shifted to one of Bucky’s many loves: engineering. He is endlessly fascinated by the robots in the Stark lab. Tony insists they’re just hunks of junk but Bucky still makes trips up to the lab to visit them; teaching them to make different types of smoothies and how to play catch with him. Bucky is trying to keep the conversation going, not willing to say goodbye just yet. He wants the night to stretch on forever, a perfect idyllic bubble where he can laugh and relax with someone who understands him. You’re the first person he feels like he can open up to in over seventy years. 

“Why don’t you come back to the tower with me and see for yourself?” he offers after you laugh and question his story about teaching Dum-E how to dance. 

You pause, fork halfway up to your mouth, wondering what his intentions are.

“You could meet Dum-E and then I could show you the night sky projector I was telling you about.” 

“The one on your bedroom ceiling?” you ask, fork still in mid-air.

“Yeah, from the planetarium.” 

Oh Bucky Barnes, sweet innocent nerd that he is. You’re fairly certain the offer is benign but you can’t resist riling him up a little. “Bucky, are you inviting me back to your bedroom to see your projector, or see your projector?” You raise your eyebrows suggestively, hitting your point home.

Bucky chokes on his sip of cappuccino, cheeks flaming red. “Oh. I didn’t. I wasn’t thinking. I would never assume.” he fumbles, helplessly. “That really came out wrong, didn’t it?” he asks finally, exasperated with himself. 

Your grin is broad and understanding. “It’s okay.” you reassure him. “I didn’t think you meant it that way. And I don’t typically go home with a guy on the first date either. But honestly, after tonight, if something were to happen I wouldn’t mind at all.” 

Bucky swallows nervously. Once. Twice. Get it together Barnes!  He clears his throat roughly before responding with a voice he’s proud doesn’t waiver, “Well then let’s head back and see where the night takes us.” 

You never thought he’d have the nerve. Hallelujah for his new found confidence. “Let’s.” you agree. 

Bucky leads the way back to the tower he calls home. It’s a short walk, only a few blocks away, and you take your time, discussing the differences between modern Manhattan and the New York Bucky grew up in. The Avengers Tower, formerly Stark Tower, rises up from the concrete like a monolith, looming over the rest of the buildings on the block. You never expected to see the inside of it and as Bucky activates a body scan from the access panel you’re more than a little nervous. The scan runs quickly and a warm British voice announces, “Welcome back, Mr. Barnes. I see you’ve brought a guest.” 

“That’s Jarvis,” Bucky explains, “Took me a while to get used to him, but he pretty much runs everything here at the tower. Jarvis, this is Y/N. She’ll be with me but give her basic clearance just to be safe.”

“Can do, sir.” Jarvis replies, seemingly all around you. “Miss, if you could please hold still I will run a biometric scan for your clearance.” 

You’re not sure where to speak, looking upwards out of instinct, “Okay, sure.”  The beam runs from your head down to your toes just like it did for Bucky and you do your best to hold still. Bucky is smirking and you’re sure he understands how odd the advanced tech is to you.

“All set, Miss. You will have basic access to the common rooms, main door, and I’ve added Mr. Barnes’ private quarters as well.” 

“Thanks Jarvis.” Bucky says before holding his hand back out to you, “Ready to go meet my robotic friends?”

You laugh lightly, “Sure, why not.” 

Bucky leads you up to Stark’s lab where Dum-E and U are busy tidying up bits of charred shrapnel from the floor. “Hey guys!” Bucky calls out as soon as you’re in the lab. The pair of silver robots abandon their dustpan and broom, hurrying over to Bucky. They’re making excited whirring sounds with their gears and you assume this means they’re happy to see him. “Now fellas, I brought a friend to meet you.” he tells them, and both robots turn their top arm pieces in your direction. It’s odd that you feel like you’re being inspected even though they don’t have eyes or faces. “Her name is Y/N and I expect you two to be on your best behavior.” 

“Hi guys.” you say with a small wave. 

The robot on your right, U, comes over, the top (or end?) of it’s long arm reaching out as if to shake. You look at Bucky questioningly and he nods. You’re not sure what to expect as you reach out towards the robot but it quickly takes your hand between it’s three metal flaps, moving it up and down rapidly as if to shake it. You can’t help but be charmed by the polite little robot. It makes a few tinny sounds and you say “It’s very nice to meet you too.” hoping you’ve guessed it’s intentions correctly. It’s whirring noises start up again and it rolls away quickly, it seems happy enough with your response. The other robot, Dum-E, rolls over to repeat the awkward shake and makes a similar series of noises after you greet him. 

Bucky is grinning ear to ear watching you. It means a lot to him that you’re willing to entertain his love of robotics and the two little guys he’s grown so attached to. “How about we show Y/N what we were working on last week?” he asks them and both robots raise and lower their arm piece as if to nod. Bucky whips out his phone, bringing up a song to put on, and then sets it up so that music plays from the speakers in the lab. The clear, ringing voice of Ella Fitzgerald fills the room declaring “It don’t mean a thing if you ain’t got that swing”. 

Bucky extends a hand to Dum-E who takes it with his little flaps like he had your hand. Fast and graceful Bucky spins the robot around the lab with him in perfectly timed swing dance steps. You’ve seen swing dancing before but never in person and certainly never with a robot. Dum-E does well keeping up with Bucky and halfway through the song U rolls over to butt in and takes Dum-E’s place. You’re amazed by the show, the way Bucky moves is so alive and joyous. You could easily watch him for hours. Being a clumsy child you doubt you could ever be an adequate dance partner for him but you wonder if you could learn enough for him to take you for a spin around the room. Maybe he would even teach you. It hits you that you’re already planning future dates, far into the future possibly. It’s foolish, you’re not even finished your first official date yet, but it’s going well and you can’t deny the connection you feel with him.

The song ends, Ella’s voice trilling off into silence, and Bucky gives you a cock bow. You clap for him and U who whirrs happily at the praise. “What do you think?” Bucky asks you as he crosses the room to your side. 

“Very impressive. I wouldn’t believe it if I hadn’t seen it with my own eyes.” you tell him.

“It was easier than you’d think too. The guys really enjoy the classics and I missed dancing so it works out great. Do you swing?”

“Oh god no! I was one of those kids who tripped on their own two feet. Never tried learning anything more complicated than following a guy’s lead at slow dancing in the middle school auditorium.” 

“I think you’d be a natural. You just have to move with the music.” 

“No, really. I’ve fallen walking up the stairs, Bucky. I’d break your toes.” 

“Pfft. You couldn’t so much as dent my pinky toe. But if you don’t wanna learn that’s okay too.” 

He looks so earnest and unsure that it’s your undoing. “Okay, maybe some other time you can try to teach me. But if you lose a toe it’s your own fault.” 

“That’s a risk I’m willing to take, doll.” He hits you with that megawatt smile and your knees turn to jelly. Damn him and that impossible charm that seems to seep from every pore. You’re no match for it and you suspect he knows it. Bucky takes your hands in his, tugging you close until your toes are almost touching his. That heaviness has returned to the air, like walking into a sauna. “You ready to go see the night sky projector?” 

You chance a look up at his face again and you’re amazed you’re still upright at this point. “Yeah, take me to your room now.” Your voice is low and Bucky has to steady himself a minute before leading the way down to the living quarters. It’s obvious the dance you two are doing now. He’s not sure if he’s ready to be intimate with you, or anyone really. Despite months of therapy Bucky’s still insecure about the scars that litter his body. He can barely stand looking at them himself, he can’t imagine it would be any easier for a stranger. But a part of him woke up when he met you in the coffee shop, and it’s only gained strength after a week of frequent texting and a so far perfect date. Bucky isn’t sure he could silence it now if he wanted to. A tiny spark has flared into a wildfire and all Bucky can do now is let it burn.

Read part three HERE!

[randomahsheadcanons]

Kit x Jimmy Headcanons

• Kit x Jimmy? Don’t you mean: the cutest couple in the AHS fandom.

• Thanks @americanhorrorhcs and @ahs-memes for giving birth to this OTP.

• I can’t stand Jimmy x Maggie and Kit x Grace/Kit x Alma so this ship solved SO many problems I had with AHS.

• First of all: Kit FINALLY gets to be happy!

• He deserves to be loved, cared for and protected.

• Jimmy is the most protective guy in AHS.

• He’d literally do anything for the people he loves.

• And he’s always blaming himself for everything that happened to the freaks, saying that he couldn’t protect them.

• He deserves someone who’d tell him it’s not his fault.

• In conclusion: Kit and Jimmy both deserved better and I’m here to give them the love and protection they needed.

• Thanks for coming to my TED talk.

• Alright, let’s go!

• Kit and Jimmy are the most domestic couple in the world.

• They’re basically an old married couple but they have the sex drive of horny teenagers.

• And they have the sweetest pet names for each other.

• Kit calls Jimmy “darling”, “baby”, “babe”, “handsome”, “beautiful” and “hot stuff”.

• Jimmy has SO many pet names for Kit.

• They’re all pretty cute.

• Kit loves them because they sound so good in Jimmy’s accent.

• He calls him “sugar”, “kitten”, “sunshine”, “gorgeous”, “cutie”, “angel”, “precious”.

• Some candy related pet names like “cupcake”, “muffin”, “apple pie” and “cookie”.

• Kit says he hates those because they’re too cheesy but he secretly adores all of them.

• Jimmy doesn’t really like being called “darling” because it confuses him.

• He never knows if Kit’s upset with him or if he’s flirting with him.

• “Hey, darling-”

• “Please don’t call me that, kitten. I can’t tell if you’re calling me by a pet name or just my last name”

• Jimmy likes to compare Kit to sweet things.

• Sometimes he’ll call him “Kit Kat”.

• “Mmm, I just wanna eat some Kit Kat tonight”

• “Oh my god, shut uuuup!”

• Kit loves Jimmy’s accent so much.

• He melts whenever he calls him “sugar” and “darlin’”.

• Kit likes to hold Jimmy’s hands all the time.

• He’ll stop talking in the middle of a conversation just to hold and kiss his hands.

• Kit and Jimmy usually wake up at the same time.

• Then they take a shower together in the morning, before going to work.

• Jimmy washes Kit’s flawless hair.

• Jimmy sings to him whenever he’s stressed out because Kit loves his voice and it calms him down.

• Kit loves to bake for Jimmy, especially cookies and cupcakes.

• He used to help his mom baking and it was a great moment since their relationship wasn’t always so nice.

• And he knows that Jimmy’s mom liked to bake for him so whenever he notices that Jimmy’s upset about his Ma, he bakes for him.

• Jimmy absolutely adores everything Kit makes for him.

• Especially cookies.

• Kit does the cooking around the house and although Jimmy does his best to help him out, he can’t do much.

• His hands just weren’t made for that.

• One time he tried to boil an egg and he almost burned the house down.

• Well, at least he tried.

• But sometimes he likes to distract Kit when he’s busy.

• He hugs Kit from behind when he’s cooking and buries his face on his neck.

• “Mmm, smells good”

• “Thanks, I’m making pancakes”

• “I wasn’t talking about the food, baby”

• Jimmy is obsessed with holding Kit’s hips.

• And, of course, slapping his ass.

• He won’t stop kissing his neck and jaw while Kit’s trying to focus on something else.

• “Jimmy, I’m busy!”

• He eventually gives up on whatever he’s doing and kisses Jimmy for a while just to make him stop bothering him.

• When Jimmy’s not home, Kit wears his leather jacket.

• It smells like him, so it makes Kit feel more safe.

• He doesn’t like being alone.

• He’s always paranoid about being alone in his house, after everything that happened.

• He thinks something bad is going to happen to him if he’s left alone for too long.

• Jimmy tries to take care of Kit but he can’t convince him to take his meds.

• The pills reminds him of Briarcliff and he refuses to take them.

• Jimmy just wants to help him because he can’t stand to see the man he loves having panic attacks all the time and not being able to sleep.

• Kit also doesn’t like going to the doctor.

• Jimmy says he won’t force him to go but he will drag him there if it’s absolutely necessary.

• Kit’s kids both love Jimmy.

• They think he’s funny and they noticed that he makes Kit happy so they have no problem with him.

• Thomas thinks Jimmy’s hands are super cool and he always asks him to take him to see the freak show.

• Julia talks to Jimmy about everything because she thinks he gives the best advice.

• Kit is always complaining about how his kids like Jimmy more than they like him.

• Julia makes sure to call him when Kit has a panic attack because she knows Jimmy will make him feel better.

• Thomas asked Jimmy to teach him how to juggle.

• And sometimes Thomas talks to Jimmy about serious stuff.

• “Daddy told me that your mom died, is that true?”

• “It’s true. Unfortunately, my Ma passed away”

• “My mommy died too. Did you know that?”

• “I know, sweetie. I’m sorry about that”

• “It makes me sad to think about her. Do you get sad when you think about your mom?”

• “Well, yeah… I do get sad when I think about Ma. But then I remember she wouldn’t want me to be sad, so I try to think about the good times we had together”

• “Does it work? It makes you feel better?”

• “It doesn’t make the pain go away but it helps. I’m sure your mom wouldn’t want ya to be upset, okay?”

• “Okay… thanks, Jimmy. You’re the best!”

• All the freaks love Kit.

• Seriously, they love him so much.

• They think he’s the cutest thing in the world and they’re constantly telling Jimmy how lucky he is.

• Eve thinks Kit is just too small.

• She likes to pick him up and carry him around because she knows he hates that.

• Paul and Suzy always treated Jimmy’s love life like it’s their favorite TV show or something.

• “He’s gonna ask him to marry him”

• “No fucking way! It’s too soon”

• “You and I both know that never stopped him before”

• Kit loves Ma Petite so much.

• The first time he saw her, he cried.

• He likes to pick her up because she’s so little and adorable.

• He actually cried when he saw Pepper for the first time after Briarcliff.

• They hugged for almost an hour.

• Elsa is like a mother to Jimmy so she was very suspicious of Kit at first but then she realized he’s harmless.

• Desiree was also suspicious.

• But now she’s the vice president of the Kit Walker Protection Squad.

• If Jimmy and Kit have a fight, Desiree makes Jimmy apologize for it even if he’s right.

• Dell is an asshole to Kit but it’s not like anyone expected anything else from him.

• He’s the only person who doesn’t like Kit.

• Even Maggie likes Kit.

• She’s actually really happy for Jimmy.

• Dot also likes Kit.

• She hated him when Jimmy used to talk about how happy he was with him.

• But she realized it wasn’t fair to hate someone who’s so nice to her.

• Bette lowkey had a crush on Kit but she also liked his relationship with Jimmy.

• Lana and Mary wanted to meet Jimmy as soon as he started dating Kit but he refused to introduce him to them.

• He knows Lana can be scary when she’s protective.

• She’s like Kit’s older sister.

• Mary was actually kind of into Jimmy.

• “Kit, your boyfriend is so charming!”

• Lana and Mary wanted to check his “intentions” with their bisexual son.

• It was a classic “good cop and bad cop” interrogation.

• Mary was sweet and she asked Jimmy about his job, his family, his previous lovers, his education.

• Lana just stared at him while she smoked and aggressively took notes.

• She didn’t even had to say anything to scare him.

• But when she did talked, she asked the most inconvenient questions.

• “What’s your favorite color?”

• “Red… why does that matter, Mary?”

• “Just asking some silly questions”

• “Do you enjoy eating Kit’s ass?”

• “WHAT?”

• “Lana, we’ve talked about this”

• Lana had to give him “the talk”.

• She just wanted to make sure he wasn’t going to hurt Kit in any way.

• He’s been through enough.

• And that’s why Jimmy is so protective of Kit.

• He won’t let go of him for one minute.

• He doesn’t like holding his hand in public because he thinks Kit will be harassed for being with a freak.

• Kit doesn’t care.

• He hates when Jimmy tries to hide his hands or when he wears his gloves.

• “You have nothing to be ashamed of, you should be proud of your hands!”

• Jimmy would fight anyone to protect Kit.

• He gets mad pretty easily so Kit has to keep him from getting in fights with random strangers that insult him or call Jimmy a freak.

• He’s even more aggressive when he’s drunk.

• He has three moods: he’ll try to fight everyone, cry about his Ma or try to convince Kit to have sex with him.

• Sometimes he doesn’t even recognize Kit when he’s drunk.

• He calls him “Ma” or “Maggie”, sometimes he even thinks he’s Dell and yells at him for abandoning him.

• Kit has to take care of Jimmy because he makes stupid decisions when he’s drunk.

• Jimmy promised to stop drinking if Kit quitted smoking.

• It was hard at first because Kit is a stress smoker and he’s always stressed.

• Eventually, he managed to quit.

• Jimmy was so proud of him.

• Kit loves to be praised.

• He has the biggest praise kink.

• He just really likes being told that he’s doing good.

• Jimmy is always there to tell him he’s great.

• Kit likes to wear Jimmy’s shirts to sleep.

• He feels so safe when he’s on Jimmy’s arms.

• Jimmy really knows how to make him relax… if you know what I mean.

• Kit feels so safe and loved when he’s around Jimmy, that he can actually manage to have a peaceful night of sleep.

• In the end, Kit and Jimmy are in love and they’re always there for each other no matter what.

[oflcvers]

Hi! Your Stefan imagine was so sweet c: I was wondering if you maybe had any dating Stefan headcanons you wanted to share? Thank you!!

DATING STEFAN BUTLER INCLUDES:

what a good man you’ve landed urself kid

such a sweet boy with a lot of love to give

even if it’s very difficult for him to fully express it all

it takes him a while to warm up and trust when it comes to an intimate relationship but once he’s in my god, a very good man

your safety, happiness, and health is always his priority

random checkups and phone calls in the wee am hours just to ‘hear your voice’ and ‘make sure you’re alright’

it could be 4am and he’ll call you after taking a five minute break from his monitor

and you can’t be too angry at him bc hey, his intentions were good

even if his call pulled you outta rem sleep

and then you guys just,,, talk for however long until one of you falls asleep

he’s super supportive of you and everything you want to achieve, y’all are each other’s cheerleaders at all times; your support system is just incredible

2, 4, 6, 8; who does he appreciate? you, mate

you love having stefan tag along to do errands with you, whether it be as simple as food shopping or going to the dry cleaners

and he loves being able to be with you too, even for something so mundane

not a lot of pda, it makes stefan a little uncomfortable. hand holding is the staple tbh

a typical date night is staying home, snuggling up on the sofa, and having a movie marathon

potentially trying to cook dinner together too

the first night you two give up and order in but after that, there’s a newfound determination to get it done

after a few kitchen mishaps, you and stefan finally nail a mean dish of bangers and mash

stefan is literally so proud like ‘love,,, can you believe it we made something so good’

and y’all chow down before throwing yourselves into a star wars movie marathons

stefan can get jealous but,,, it’s more him being anxious and insecure of himself and his worth to you

like he’ll see people trying to hit on you when you’re in a crowded place like a bar or concert when he slipped away to get drinks or something

and he won’t barrel in like some caveman and reclaim you for the world to see

he’ll kinda shrink and just get so fucking anxious like ‘am i?? what they deserve?? they can do just so much better, right?? are they just settling with me??’

and just sulks away until you realize he completely disappeared

you gotta pull him out of the bouts immediately

you just know when he gets like that and you reassure him just how much you love him and how unyielding that love is

god he is so weak for you, man

you guys could be dating for years and stefan will still look at you so awestricken and in love sometimes

when he thinks you aren’t paying attention he just,,, stares and he can’t help it

once he’s in love he’s just??? so in love???

like ‘wow holy hell this person loves me??? and for who i am???’

it’s a true revelation for stefan tbh it shakes him to his core that you still want to be with him and wake up next to him and just,,, wow completely floored

you two have a sex life, but it isn’t ravenous

just the right amount of dicking to me

the first few times are a lil awkward, but the bedroom soon fills with relieved giggling once you realize that both of you don’t know how the fuck to approach it all

stefan’s head game is mediocre compared to his fingering tactics

two fingers and you’re fucking gone

when you dirty talk stefan’s entire face blows up red

he fucking loves it tho, along with being praised

jesus h christ tell him how good of a boy he is and he’ll cum right down your throat or in your palms

also yeah, yank his fucking hair out too while you’re at it

his favorite position is reverse cowgirl man, to ride him or be rode he fucking loves being able to watch your face

and once you finish you fall into a comfortable silence while you intertwine your bodies together

and just pass out in each other’s embrace

moral of the story is that stefan butler is a catch of a boyfriend thanks for coming to my ted talk exits are in the back

[frankensteindotpdf]

TGWDLM and Love

Okayyyy so I was supposed to write an assignment on how a romantic movie expresses love and I asked my prof if I could write about tgwdlm instead and he said yes?? Bless him so anyway I made wayyyy too many notes for a 500-600 word assignment lmao so I felt like i might as well post em here… this is a compilation of every time Paul and Emma interact pretty much lol its hella long (im not kidding it’s like 7 pages rip) so under the cut :) 

finally done, @isaidsinggoddammit!!

Sidenote: There’s very mixed capitalization as my brain flipped between tumblr mode and assignment mode so excuse that lmao)

Coffee Shop Part 1

Tips well to impress her

Listens to her vent-she already feels comfy enough to rant to him or, alternatively, she’s just a really open person (but shhh she has to trust him to some extent)

Insults others he doesnt know too well but he knows she doesnt like, again to impress

Tries to act indifferent towards everyone else (and tough)

Almost says smth romantic (“Some things are worth it”) but backtracks when she looks confused

In this scene, he tries to act cool but is clearly super nervous. One thing I really like is how he never acts too cool for her, like a lotta people do. He’s genuinely interested in what she has to say and never pretends otherwise, and also never pretends to be interested to get her to like him. I just really love how good he is at listening

Cup of Roasted Coffee/ Cup of Poisoned Coffee

When he panics he goes to Beanies to get a coffee and relax (wake up)

He turns to Emma (subconsciously?) for comfort

Freaks out when she sings (for good reason)

Emma remembers him (“Paul, right?... You’re the guy who doesn’t like musicals”)

Doesnt seem to notice how weird he’s acting

Continues to vent

He pulls her away from the counter to explain what’s going on

Paul finds it important to tell her-she’s the first person he admits it to

Him venting to her like she does to him? Trying to connect in a similar way? Im reading too much into that

He holds her there while explaining, she has to find an excuse to pull away

She thinks he’s crazy-keeps glancing at him during the song (he looks terrified)

Seems concerned for him

He switches between nervously staring at her and anxiously staring into the void (mood)

She turns to him at the “end” of the song and comes near him in the middle

She runs to paul when they start singing

They grab each other

He tells her to run, pushes her forward and shifts so he’s between her and the aliens

This scene is reeeally creepy from Emma’s perspective like oh my gosh can you imagine a man yelling at you (not at you but at your singing but still) and pulling you away from your work and then holding you still when you try to leave??? Anxiety to the max poor babe but also i get paul’s side can you imagine seeing the whole apocalypse beginning and it’s so weird no one would believe you if you tried to tell them? Poor bb. There’s also a lot of things that come up later: the ways he holds emma in this scene is the same way he holds her later one, later it’s to comfort her but  this time it’s more to calm himself… he also pulls her to a better spot like he does later on

Trash Bin Scene

He leads her away-he knows the neighbourhood better

Tries learning about her (you like film?) (cmon paul bad timing)

(at trash) hold hands, she grabs his shirt while panicking

He holds her firmly by the shoulders to calm & comfort (parallels Cuppa)

Emma instinctively grabs Paul’s arm when Bill pops out

“Emma stays with us”-stands up to ted even though he looks pretty scared of him

(sidenote-what did ted do to Paul? The poor boy looks straight up terrified the first time he shows up)

Emma looks real confused about “latte hottay” but she never brings it up

“Paul!” when he runs to Charlotte-gestures at Paul near end of song

Paul tends to comfort people by grabbing their shoulders/putting a hand on their back (Emma of course but also Charlotte and Bill- has a looser hold on them than Emma)

Here they’re already starting to react to danger by reaching for each other and it’s v cute also bless paul i just really like how he calms people down he’s so good and pure

Hidgens’ Fortress Part 1

They trust Emma enough to go to Hidgens’ place (not like they had many other options)

Men™ typically trusted for “strong” stuff-Ted and Bill cuff Sam

Paul stands up for Bill-such a protective boy (could also be doing it to look cool for Emma but tbh it doesnt seem like it ill bring this up again later)

Paul listens intently to Emma’s venting

He smiles, nods, asks qs and repeats phrases she says

Its obvious he genuinely cares

Emma’s v comfy with him-they have an easy chem when Paul relaxes

Emma progressively shares deeper shit as she becomes more comfortable around paul

Paul makes jokes to lighten the mood, but not in a disrespectful way

Seems more nervous when bringing topics to himself

She listens just as politely as he does

“Whoa thats like your origin story...so I guess I’m the supervillain” “I dont think of you like that at all, Emma.” Cutest, Softest smiles on both of them my heART “Listen, Paul”-she was about to confess her love dammit charlotte

I’ve said it before and i’ll say it again: Paul is such a good listener. I dont know why i find this so cute but their convos are so perfect like he asks qs so he knows exactly what she’s talking about (“what’s a coatimundi?” “Oh, did she smoke a lot of pot?”) and he repeats back phrases she says which shows that he’s genuinely listening like...so many characters (and people irl, lets be real)  just pretend to listen to get what they want but he cares so much about what she has to say i just cant stop talking about it it’s so cute also how he seems so comfortable when she’s talking and then starts showing sign of nervousness again when the convo turns to him? Pure mood

Join Us And Die

Both jump behind chair when Charlotte and Sam show up

Emma clings to Paul’s arm + hides behind him

She steps out “charlotte?”

Paul pulls her back when sam approaches

Paul puts himself between Emma and Sam

Emma puts her back to Paul and grabs his arm

Paul pulls Emma away by her arm (“What’s wrong with her shirt?”)

Emma’s caught up in the gore, Paul is relatively level-headed

He keeps an arm around her

Emma steps away from paul to yell at Sam +Char (“He has a daughter!!”)

Instinctively reaches for Paul  when Char gets shot (and later looks back at paul a couple of times when shook at prof hidgens)

Alright they do this whenever aliens show up so imma just talk about it here: this part was in my assignment so 1 lets hope it doesnt get flagged as plagiarism and 2 i could rant about this all day.

Basically Paul fulfills the traditional masculine role as protector and leader. Whenever smth dangerous shows up, he has one hand on her (on her shoulder, arm or the small of her back)-both reassuring them that someone else is there and making it easier for him to move her-which he does lots. He pulls her behind him or pushes her forward (away from the infected), leading her to where he thinks is safest. He always puts himself between her and the aliens, leading her to a safer spot. Emma tends to get distracted (emotional female stereotype) and paul is the one to move them both to safety (strong stoic man stereotype). To be fair, he is a lot bigger than emma and would probs have an easier time in a fight (tho i dont doubt that emma would be v i c i o u s) Emma tend to cling to Paul’s arm when she gets scared (which is really cute)

Hidgens’ Fortress Part 2

Emma adds to Paul’s plan- taps on his arm to move him

Paul steps back in front of her- i always found this weird, he totally blocks her from the conversation like why

She steps back out to roast ted

Paul looks at Emma when Ted @s him-now here’s where I could see him standing up for Bill to impress emma again. It’s not the only reason, but i do think it’s a contributing factor (and probably was before too cuz lets be real, when your crush is around you gotta act tough) of course he wants to protect his bff but he’s super anxious around ted so wanting to look brave for emma gives him that extra push he needs. Alternatively, he looks at Emma as a way to calm himself down before saying smth scary (which is adorable)

Emma wants to help but is called back to help with the lab

This is another thing i find super interesting-wouldnt more people around make it more likely he gets stopped? Did he want an audience (more than just ted) cuz i guess that’s understandable but in that case why didnt he wait a little longer to see if they came back? Idk it just seemed weird to me (also the whole “nooo female cant go out where it’s dangerous” even though it’s more like “oh emma’s the only one i know here can she not leave” wait actually that’s probably it lmao he just didnt wanna be alone with ted ok relatable nvm )

“Hey, Paul?” grabs arms (paul reciprocates) she’s real nervous for him leaving-relates to how much he hates musicals

I find that really cute cuz it’s showing once again how much they listen to each other and idk i just really like that about them

Grabs his face and pulls him close-he pulls her hands down to look her in the eyes to tell her he’ll stay safe

He doesn’t kiss her-super interesting! She pulled him close like that (which coulda been a sign to kiss her) and this was a pretty emotionally charged moment which a kiss would have fit - Paul hates kisses hc?

Not Your Seed + General (technically, just a little note)

Paul holds Emma tight with 2 hands, but keeps 1 hand free when holding others (ie bill and charlotte)

Only tells General about Emma, not Ted or the Prof (tho to be fair, he hates ted and barely knows the prof but it’s interesting how he doesnt even say he has “friends”, just Emma)

America Is Great Again

Paul saves emma and Ted

“Should I take this chair?” asks paul to lead

Emma holds Paul’s arm when they run

She tries to pry “Greg”’s arm off Paul + tries to get Ted to help-not strong enough

“Thank you Emma”-she freed him/killed Greg? I wanna know what happened (i tweeted @ jon, lauren and nick asking, so far jon just liked it we’ll see if anyone answers)

Runs behind Emma + pushes her forward “run, emma, run!”-Emma grabs for Paul, he steps in front

He pulls her through Robert+Corey and turns her around

She pulls him away from the General-paul usually does the pulling to safety

Paul doesnt notice when Emma is grabbed by Ted (lmao i get that he’s a little busy but it still seems odd)

She struggles with 1, 3 are on Paul (not a sexist thing, she’s tiny and also Paul is the main character and the aliens know it plus they gotta do that cool lift thing)

Emma grabs gun + shoots the General, grabbing Paul-”Paul! The helicopter! Cmon!”

Usually Paul does that stuff, but emma takes the protective role more in the 2nd half of this song

Basically we have the classic paul protecting emma stuff but now also the emma protecting paul which is good and fresh and i love...the way she tries to protect paul is different than how he protects her. She yells more frantically, and also is more of trying to lead him whereas paul yells to get her attention and physically moves her himself

Helicopter Scene

He helps her onto the heli, back to his usual protective self

Keeps one hand on the back of her seat the whole time (aww he’s stabilizing himself physically cuz the copter’s shaky and emotionally cuz he’s closer to Emma)

“Emma, seatbelts” he reaches up to help her into her seat-he kicks the gun to save them

“Emma? Emma?” immediate response is to call out to her-that boy was literally awake less than a second before worrying about her i love him

Runs to her when he sees her

“”This is what seatbelts are for” in this scene he seems really like...over it? Idk if anyone else got that he just seemed really intent on destroying the meteor instead of anything to do with Emma… before saving their lives was priority but also spending time with her, here he nods like he’s trying to rush her and does not seem excited to kiss her (again, Paul hates kisses? ok that was a rant that got ahead of my notes but just-) this scene is weird to me like maybe he’s trying to rush to stop the meteor so they can be together after and like not die idk anymore

He reaches out for her, jumping away when she cries out in pain

The rest of the scene he has his hands hovering a few inches away from her, very protective but also very scared of hurting her

Emma comes up with the solution, Paul has to do it cuz she’s hurt (weak gal, strong man, injured person knows secret to survival and tells strong boi how to do it tropes)

“Hey, Paul?” slides over to him-he gingerly supports her back (scared to hurt her)

He shushes her to calm her while talking cuz she’s in pain- ok, maybe its less about “gotta get out of here” and more about “she’s hurt really badly and needs help asap, i gotta destroy that meteor so i can get help” ok that makes sense im dumb lmao

Emma is first to ask out + kiss me? + pulling him in by his tie- breakin stereotype of man making first move

Then the little “..okay..” after she asks him to kiss her...maybe he wanted it to be romantic aww he wanted them to have a real cute first kiss and this wasnt what he had planned (or he just doesn’t like kisses cuz like he looks so uncomfortable there’s gotta be a reason”

He doesnt wanna kiss her cuz of the blood (weak) and is happy to leave-this part is what throws me off most he just like runs on outta there with no hesitation but he loves her?? I dont get it

Dont really need a rant here cuz i did a lotta ranting in the points… excuse my little journey of discovery there lmao I was just confused at first cuz at face value he seems really different, super hell bent on getting out of there whereas in every other scene he pays way more attention to Emma. I suppose it’s because he knows he has to destroy the meteor asap so he can get her help, i just didnt catch that. His motivations seemed very different in this scene to me and i couldnt figure out why

Theory time

Now here’s the fun part-i saw a theory somewhere that Paul can only get infected because he has a true goal now, he really wants to end up with Emma. In What Do You Want, Paul? Mr. Davidson is trying to find out what he wants to use it as motivation to make him more susceptible to the virus/make him sing a song, but since Paul doesn’t want anything clearcut he cant be infected. Now, since Paul wants Emma, he has a goal and smth to fight for but also smth to sing about. The very reason he’ trying to save the world becomes the reason he fails.

HOWEVER. His goal could just as easily be saving the world cuz he literally doesnt bring emma up once? Like i get he’s preoccupied but idk if he’s about to die i feel like he’d at least mention her (unless he’s hoping they think she died and wont go looking for her if he fails) idk their romance is adorable until the scene before this and then these 2 scenes make it feel really off for me

Okay now onto the most fun scene >:) -since there’s so many details i separated them into actions and lyrics

Inevitable (Actions)

“Are you sure there weren’t any other survivors?” :(

“PEIP would like to see it become smth more” because she’s the love interest and they’re supposed to end up together ahhh it’s the alien talking

She grabs his arms to look him in the eyes then pulls him in for a hug (the cutest)

She’s v reluctant to believe it at first “Paul?” She’s still smiling for the first line

Slowly she starts to let herself see what’s happening “Paul, you’re scaring me”

She knows he’s infected but she’s trying her hardest to believe he could be playing a cruel joke

He has power over her physically- holds her where he wants her while they’re dancing

He dances with her at first, gestures to her to move closer, talks to her, moves towards dancing at her instead of with

He blocks her exit, pulls her to where he wants her and ignores her for part

This is where you can really tell he’s different. Paul would never ignore Emma, and he straight up ignores her to sing and dance

He points at her and then goes back to ignoring her

Emma starts sobbing and really trying to run

Emma is dragged to the center of the stage sobbing because she cant do anything

He drops character in credits, waving and smiling to the audience; she doesnt

He’s got physical power over her (strength) but also cuz he’s backed by all the aliens who can move her where she’s supposed to go

Inevitable (lyrics)

“Emma, I’m sorry, you lost.” couldnt kill aliens

“Lost your way” didnt want to join them

“I made it” ‘This is the life that I chose” “I’m still the man you trust” “what if the only choice is you had to sing to survive” “Put words to the lyrics and you’re playing the game now” -maybe he’s faking it (i also heard someone mention the fact that he sings in his natural voice and not the higher one he used for the Alien Brain in Let It Out which is a good catch) (also someone else brought up the fact that he was mostly singing reprises, maybe because he couldnt think up his own tune/entirely original lyrics?)

“It’s inevitable for us”-because she’s the love interest, it’s was inevitable that they’d wind up together

“Show me those jazz hands” He’s trying to convince her to join of her own free will

“or i might be inclined to plant my seed” but is willing to do it by force if she wont

This song is super interesting because of the parallels-he holds her the same way he did in previous songs, pulls and pushes her across the stage like before, but this time it’s turned against her. What was once meant as protection is now being used to force her to join the dance I talked more about this in my assignment but i dont wanna get too close to what i wrote before because it could get flagged for plagiarism and i do not want that so imma reblog this post alter and add my assignment for more info (if yall want anyway)

The lyrics could hint at Paul faking it, and it definitely appears that way (especially with the face he makes at “Im still the man you trust) but i think the part in the middle where he just kind of breaks off to dance really kills that idea for me. Even if he was trying to trick the aliens, he could have kept closer to Emma like he does every other time they’re in danger, and the fact that he straight up ignores her and lets the aliens move her around like that is just not in his character so apologies but i believe our man is gone

Also, regarding the theories that Emma is infected because of the beginning; I could see that happening, but in that case, why didnt she break character at the end? I have absolutely zero idea how/if the intro song fits into the story but idk i feel like she should’ve acted like the rest of them if she really was infected but on the other hand i really like the heartbreaking theory that they’re all infected and Paul just has to keep reliving the story of how he failed again and again for all eternity like ouch? But also? Its great in a painful way??

Um yeah so that’s that for my ranting (my 3 pages of notes became 7 pages with the rants included so sorry about that i just had so much to sayyyy

TLDR: paul and emma are cute thanks for coming to my ted talk

[adambstingus]

Grab A Superhero Lamp And Stay Safe In The Dark Of Night

This piece was written by the people who run the Cracked Store to tell you about products that are being sold there.

At this point, many of us hang out with Robert Downey Jr. more than we hang out with our actual friends. That dude shows up just to say “Hey” in superhero movies that aren’t even about him, and to be honest, we’ve devoted more time to him than we ever did to Ted who “just wants to get a beer sometime, man.” The stories of flying people and their problems are plastered everywhere, and if you don’t at least catch a glimpse of Batman’s giant face during your day, it’s easy to feel like you’re missing out.

But no longer will we have to go a second without having our thirst for superhero iconography quenched. Now you can pay your tributes to a handful of memorable characters with 3D Illusion Lamps crafted in their likenesses. Here’s who made the grade:

Iron Man

Read Next

The DC Movie Universe Is Sucking (And It’s Batman’s Fault)

Tony Stark might not be naturally gifted with a kind demeanor or supernatural abilities, but we’d take money, wit, and genius intellect in a fight against Captain America’s dinky shield any day. Did we mention that he also has a super suit armed with lasers and rockets? Iron Man might be a flying one-man armada, but his most dangerous features are his glib comments, highlighted by his permanent iron scowl. That’s a robot face that says “I disapprove, and here’s a joke about why.” Stare into this highly accurate version of Iron Man’s helmeted mug, and it’ll eventually start to feel like Tony Stark is being sarcastic right at you.

Batman

It’s strange that a psychotic billionaire can be considered the “relatable one,” but that’s what happens when everyone else possesses godlike capabilities. Batsy here has got none of that, unless you count his impenetrable plot armor, and that’s why we love him. We could never have the brains of Tony Stark or the ruthlessness of the Punisher, but deep down, there’s something telling us “If I can just get my startup off the ground, and also find some ninjas to train with, then yeah, I could be Batman.” And you couldn’t, but this lamp, which perfectly captures Batman’s pointy ears and knightly visage in dense wireframe, can be bought here as a consolation.

The Punisher

Similarly to Batman, the Punisher operates in a vigilante capacity. But unlike the Dark Knight, he isn’t afraid to fill his enemies with shrapnel, or knowingly commit brutal crimes to (somewhat paradoxically) clean up the streets. Frank Castle’s bloodthirsty image has been re-molded several times from his purple-suited debut to whatever this is, but his iconic emblem has stayed remarkably consistent. For those who don’t mind a little ultra-violence in their pursuit of justice, an illuminated 3D rendering of the Punisher skull is available.

Spider-Man

If you’re craving high school shenanigans in NYC, then nobody fits the bill better than Peter Parker. His arachnid abilities and quippy persona have gone through some dramatic changes over the years (if they keep up this pace of hiring new and younger actors, the next Spider-Man is going to be an angsty first-grader), but that doesn’t diminish the webslinger’s appealing humility and radioactive prowess. For a brilliant lamp that delicately recreates the iconic web mask in four different colors, look no further than this friendly neighborhood spider lamp.

Deadpool

A different kind of morally ambiguous antihero, Deadpool offers a breath of fresh air from the earnest soliloquies and altruistic intentions of more conventional superheroes. Although a gridded model of Deadpool’s disfigured face would be something to see, we think a lamp with his logo makes for much wider appeal and a much more settled stomach. Light up your home with the most meta of metahumans by getting this wireframe lamp from our store here.

You can get any of these superhero 3D illusion lamps for 49 percent off their usual retail value — just $49.99.

God’s Lonely Man fears that which he cannot see in the Death Starry Night. But lo! Tesla: God of Thunder said, “Let there be light!” And there was.

For more ways to spruce up your crib, check out 10 Simple Buys To Take Your Home From Good To Great.

from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/grab-a-superhero-lamp-and-stay-safe-in-the-dark-of-night/ from All of Beer https://allofbeercom.tumblr.com/post/170110071442

[allofbeercom]

Grab A Superhero Lamp And Stay Safe In The Dark Of Night

This piece was written by the people who run the Cracked Store to tell you about products that are being sold there.

At this point, many of us hang out with Robert Downey Jr. more than we hang out with our actual friends. That dude shows up just to say “Hey” in superhero movies that aren’t even about him, and to be honest, we’ve devoted more time to him than we ever did to Ted who “just wants to get a beer sometime, man.” The stories of flying people and their problems are plastered everywhere, and if you don’t at least catch a glimpse of Batman’s giant face during your day, it’s easy to feel like you’re missing out.

But no longer will we have to go a second without having our thirst for superhero iconography quenched. Now you can pay your tributes to a handful of memorable characters with 3D Illusion Lamps crafted in their likenesses. Here’s who made the grade:

Iron Man

Read Next

The DC Movie Universe Is Sucking (And It's Batman's Fault)

Tony Stark might not be naturally gifted with a kind demeanor or supernatural abilities, but we’d take money, wit, and genius intellect in a fight against Captain America’s dinky shield any day. Did we mention that he also has a super suit armed with lasers and rockets? Iron Man might be a flying one-man armada, but his most dangerous features are his glib comments, highlighted by his permanent iron scowl. That’s a robot face that says “I disapprove, and here’s a joke about why.” Stare into this highly accurate version of Iron Man’s helmeted mug, and it’ll eventually start to feel like Tony Stark is being sarcastic right at you.

Batman

It’s strange that a psychotic billionaire can be considered the “relatable one,” but that’s what happens when everyone else possesses godlike capabilities. Batsy here has got none of that, unless you count his impenetrable plot armor, and that’s why we love him. We could never have the brains of Tony Stark or the ruthlessness of the Punisher, but deep down, there’s something telling us “If I can just get my startup off the ground, and also find some ninjas to train with, then yeah, I could be Batman.” And you couldn’t, but this lamp, which perfectly captures Batman’s pointy ears and knightly visage in dense wireframe, can be bought here as a consolation.

The Punisher

Similarly to Batman, the Punisher operates in a vigilante capacity. But unlike the Dark Knight, he isn’t afraid to fill his enemies with shrapnel, or knowingly commit brutal crimes to (somewhat paradoxically) clean up the streets. Frank Castle’s bloodthirsty image has been re-molded several times from his purple-suited debut to whatever this is, but his iconic emblem has stayed remarkably consistent. For those who don’t mind a little ultra-violence in their pursuit of justice, an illuminated 3D rendering of the Punisher skull is available.

Spider-Man

If you’re craving high school shenanigans in NYC, then nobody fits the bill better than Peter Parker. His arachnid abilities and quippy persona have gone through some dramatic changes over the years (if they keep up this pace of hiring new and younger actors, the next Spider-Man is going to be an angsty first-grader), but that doesn’t diminish the webslinger’s appealing humility and radioactive prowess. For a brilliant lamp that delicately recreates the iconic web mask in four different colors, look no further than this friendly neighborhood spider lamp.

Deadpool

A different kind of morally ambiguous antihero, Deadpool offers a breath of fresh air from the earnest soliloquies and altruistic intentions of more conventional superheroes. Although a gridded model of Deadpool’s disfigured face would be something to see, we think a lamp with his logo makes for much wider appeal and a much more settled stomach. Light up your home with the most meta of metahumans by getting this wireframe lamp from our store here.

You can get any of these superhero 3D illusion lamps for 49 percent off their usual retail value — just $49.99.

God’s Lonely Man fears that which he cannot see in the Death Starry Night. But lo! Tesla: God of Thunder said, “Let there be light!” And there was.

For more ways to spruce up your crib, check out 10 Simple Buys To Take Your Home From Good To Great.

from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/grab-a-superhero-lamp-and-stay-safe-in-the-dark-of-night/