#Technically my neighbours are also responsible for it

[the-busy-ghost]

Some weeks life gives you goats, other weeks it gives you a leaky roof two months before you already knew you would have to shell out money for other major expenses and renegotiate your mortgage in an incredibly fucked up economy

[featherlouise]

Exploring some concepts for a slightly older Ghost!! I imagine them as about 8-9ish during the game.

I’ve been neglecting them in most of my AUs lmao, I think it’s time for some Ghost centric stuff shxhxjxj (also they’re VERY fun to draw)

After killing the Radiance, the siblings take some time to rest and recuperate, and at some point decide to try and rebuild Hallownest. Hornet takes over Deepnest, taking her rightful place as Queen, while Hollow becomes king of Hallownest. While Ghost is technically the crown prince, it’s more in name than anything, as they would rather run the Path of Pain handcuffed in the dark than have that kinda responsibility (also they’re like. 13 by this point)

Some tidbits about their design and this AU for those interested:

- They resemble their mother more than PK, and as a result their horns are more like branches and grow to resemble antlers!!

- They also have a faint wood grain pattern all over their body

- Vessels typically have small glowing white dots on their bodies, and darker spots on their face and horns (I’ve been referring to them as soul spots and void freckles shbxxn), and you can generally tell whether they’re more proficient in soul magic or void magic depending on how many of either they have!!

(E.g. Hollow has a few void freckles, but they are COVERED in soul spots, meanwhile Ghost has a few soul spots but they have a TON of void freckles).

When they come into their power as Shade Lord, Ghost’s soul spots are swallowed by their void, and as they get older more void freckles appear until their horns are entirely black.

- I like the idea of Ghost’s power as SL showing in their physical form more as they get older, like their mortal body can’t contain their entire being, so it leaks out in the form of wispy void hair, void freckles, etc etc

- When they started rebuilding, there became a sudden need for formal clothing once again, so Hornet raids every closet in the White Palace to cannibalise the different dresses and robes into something presentable (luckily Ghost fits into most of Hornet’s old stuff)

(Assume the White Palace appears again at some point (finding PK’s corpse is a VERY fun time for Holly ahahaha))

- With the discovery of kingdoms beyond the Wastelands (via Silksong), the siblings start reaching out in the hopes of establishing some trade routes, and getting some help with the rebuilding effort

This opens some opportunities for visits from neighbouring royals (and pooossibly some new friends for Ghost, they need to meet people their age lmaooo)

[oidheadh-con-culainn]

let's be more positive about books for a while! here are some queer historical romance novels that i've been rereading recently that i think do something interesting with making characters feel historical in their mindset and worldview, but are also fairly progressive, diverse queer books that are, frankly, a delight to read

this is by no means exhaustive and to be honest i could put almost anything by cat sebastian or kj charles on a list like this so this is purely the highlights of what i've reread in the past week to take my mind off work, and why i think they're interesting from this specific angle

cat sebastian, the ruin of a rake (turners #3)

this is technically the third in a trilogy but they're only very loosely connected, so you don't need to have read the others if you don't care about knowing who all the background characters are. the others are also good though

why it's interesting: features a character who has had to painstakingly study and learn the rules of polite society in order to claw his way up to respectability, and is now deploying those skills to help another man repair his reputation. shows the complexity of those rules, the social purposes they serve, and the work that goes into living by them, as well as the consequences of breaking them. also explores some of the financial side of aristocracy, and features a character with chronic illness (recurring malaria following repeated infections as a child in india) whose feelings about his illness are very relatable without feeling overly modern.

kj charles, society of gentlemen series.

this trilogy is closely related plot-wise and best read in order. all three explore cross-class romances and characters struggling to reconcile their political views and personal ethics with their desires, in the aftermath of the peterloo massacre, with a strong focus on the political role of the written word. first book is long-lost gentleman raised by seditionists / fashion-minded dandy teaching him to behave in society; second book is tory nobleman submissive / seditious pamphleteer dominant who've been fucking for a year without knowing the other's identity; third book is lord / valet and all the complicated dynamics of consent there with a generous side-helping of crime.

why they're interesting: close attention to the history of political printing and the impact of government censorship and repressive taxes on the freedom of the press; complex ideological disagreements that aren't handwaved as unimportant; examination of trust, consent, and social responsibility across class differences and in situations with problematic power dynamics; most of the characters are progressive for their time without feeling like they have modern attitudes. the second book, a seditious affair, deals most strongly with the revolutionary politics side of things, but all tackle it to some extent.

kj charles, band sinister.

look i'm probably biased because this might be my favourite KJC. it's a standalone about a pair of siblings: the sister wrote a gothic novel heavily inspired by their mysterious and scandalous neighbour whose older brother had an affair with their mum (causing scandal); the brother is a classics nerd. the sister breaks her leg on a ride through their neighbour's estate and can't be moved until she heals so they both have to stay at the house and find out if the neighbour is really as scandalous as he seems.

why it's interesting: discussion of atheism and new ideas about science and creation (very shocking to the brother, who is the viewpoint character); details of agriculture and estate management via main LI's attempt to grow sugar beet, as well as the economics of sugar (including references to slavery); "unexpurgated" latin and greek classics as queer reference points for a character who nevertheless hasn't quite figured out he's queer; material consequences of society scandal

bonus: wonderful sibling dynamic and a diverse cast including a portugese jewish character, which i don't think i've seen in a book before

i will add to this list as i continue to reread both of their backlists! (bc i have read them all enough times and in close enough succession that they blur together in my head unless i've read them very recently)

[gmanwhore]

Ok ok. My personal headcanons on the neighbours. These are the guys who live in Sunshine Terrace, my version of the apartment. I am using visual clues and also what I find personally interesting. I am also putting my sexuality and gender (and pronouns) headcanons here because I CAN. Warning for period relevant bigotry, especially with Gloria, mentions of SA for Francis, mentions of murder for Mclooy, mentions of grooming also for Mclooy, and mentions of suicide. Also for Mclooy.

Roman: (he/him, she/her ONLY to Lois, Trans woman lesbian and HEAVILY closeted.)

Ok so. He works as a public accountant so I am assuming he makes enough to be comfortable and afford his apartment and some nice things for him and his wife. He looks serious and roughed up, so I do believe he grew up in a rougher part of town and managed to work his way through college to have a more comfortable job. He wears pretty well the exact same suit as Arnold so I think they have some similarities in temperament. He loves his wife, he obviously buys her at least one outfit that's high fashion and I just like the idea of a gruff person having someone they truly feel comfortable around. He's still frugal with his money since he learned that from a young age (poor family) but he's responsible. Probably hides a lot of his emotions.

Lois: (she/her, cis lesbian) Lois has very big features. She's short but everything on her is big. Big lips, round body, whole thing. She's also wearing an outfit that is very high fashion for the time, pioneered by specifically a female designer, Coco Chanel. She I definitely see her as someone who is loud, never backs down, always speaks her mind, and knows a bit about everything. She is an acquired taste, sure, but she's bold and outgoing and LOVES to gossip. My high femme girlie. I also think she adores her husband. They are healthy.

Albertsky: (he/him, cis aroace man) Albertsky does his job and nothing more. His hard stare and solid, brick like design kind of lends itself to someone who knows what is good for him and what isn't. He has no time for extras, he does what he has to. Reliable, but isn't going to bend himself backwards for someone he doesn't care about. Also ties into Robertsky a bit but he is living with his brother for a) cost reasons b) ease and c) he is Robertsky's caretaker technically. There's no hard feelings there he does care about Robertsky.

Robertsky: (he/him, cis bisexual man) Robertsky is also blunt, but more in his actions and not his words. Personally I headcanon him as a semiverbal autistic person, which is a reason he lives with his brother. He's awkward in social settings but he really gets in his zone making shoes and that's what he likes to do. He's not all that rude either, just struggles with cues. It adds to his charm though because if he doesn't like someone or something he will avoid that, but if he likes someone or something you bet your lucky stars he's stuck to it like glue.

Angus: (he/him, cis bisexual man) Angus is a sleazeball. Look at him and tell me that guy isn't looking for a way to scam everyone he meets. He doesn't really care about other people, he only puts his own needs first and he thrives off attention, good or bad. He just sucks.

Elenois: (she/her, he/him (in drag) bisexual genderqueer person) Elenois, being the first on the file for 01-04 kind of lends herself to being the "older" twin, so I see her as being colder and less out there. She is still very dependent on Selenne and a lot of her life does revolve around being with her, but she has other things besides being the other Sverchtz twin. She values her own self expression, and that's why. Drag king. It allows her to express another part of herself without Elenois Sverchtz being affected by her decisions. She does care about her reputation, of course, she just needs freedom.

Selenne: (she/her, cis bisexual woman) Selenne is the more outgoing twin, but she's also the more clingy one. She takes her role as a twin to heart and struggles to not be just Selenne Sverchtz. So much of her life is centered around keeping Elenois happy and safe at the detriment of her own well being because she doesn't know anything else. She also takes her reputation very seriously and makes sure nothing can ruin it, even if it makes her upset. The Sverchtzs are just the Squid Sisters from Splatoon in this essay I will-

Arnold: (he/him, trans straight man) Arnold cares. So deeply. That's just an in game fact, instead of freaking out about his own safety he wants to ensure everyone is out and not eaten. He's friendly and outgoing, probably the guy you can go to about your problems and he'll give the advice he has. He loves Gloria the most, though, and her comfort and safety comes first for him. He's actually pretty trusting of others, though. He believes that most people are good.

Gloria: (she/her, trans demibisexual woman) Gloria is very quiet and reserved, not one to gossip or really do anything that would draw too much attention to her. She definitely comes from a rich family and has known a good amount of comfort her whole life, but isn't very trusting of others since she works in a sector where she is interacting with people or a regular basis in a time period where being any part of herself could get her hurt or killed. She does her job, she goes home, she talks to people she trusts and no one else. Arnold really balances her out, making sure she doesn't just lock herself in the apartment. She adores her husband, he is the safest person out there and he makes her smile.

Izaack: (he/him, cis gay asexual man) Izaack is a person who you think you know everything about. He's charming, kind, and sweet and sugar. He loves hearing all the gossip from the ladies, he loves updates of every kind, he just loves being in conversations! Then you realize you actually know nothing about him. He's never talked about himself. The kind, sweet man is a front, but not untrue. He just uses his personality as a shield so people can't get in to hurt him. He's heard he rumors about him and has a very hard time trusting people.

Margarette: (she/her, cis poly lesbian) Margarette gives me the vibes of just. So many older women in my life. She holds no punches and will complain about you, but she isn't afraid to do it to your face. Still, she always has a place for you and will listen to anything you need to tell her, hell, she'll drop off things you need without you asking because she knows damn well you aren't going to ask. She doesn't take shit from people and she doesn't take "oh I'm fine", she wants the people she cared about to be as happy as they can be. But still, she is very kind and is always thinking about you and always has a little treat or something soft for you. She cares deeply even if she's a bit crass about it. Also. Look at me. SHE IS AN OLDER WOMAN WHO IS A SEAMSTRESS AND ISN'T CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE AND SHE LIVES NEXT TO A SINGLE MOTHER. SHE IS A LESBIAN. SHE LIKES WOMEN.

Nacha: (he/she/they genderqueer lesbian) Nacha is an open book. She has spent SO MUCH of her life squishing herself into a box she is going to tell the doorman good morning every morning, she is going to laugh and cry and yell and live and she really doesn't care. She loves with her whole heart, which means if you break it, it hurts her more than anything. Still, if you can get past how loud she is she is wonderful to be around. She tries her best to accommodate people and tries very hard not to push but she gets easily frustrated when people don't show affection back (cough cough Francis) because she tries. So hard. She is the trier.

Anastacha: (she/her, doesn't know yet but there is a cute girl at her school...) Yeah Ana is an angsty teen who says "whatever" a lot but. But have you considered. She still wears pigtails that go out the side of her head and is also being raised by Nacha. She looks like her dad, but the main influence in her life is Nacha who doesn't want to have to regulate herself anymore. Anastacha is silly. She is playful. She's tired and probably has clinical depression from her dad but she is SILLY. Let her make jokes and have fun with her mom and be ironicly stereotypical. Also she does love her mom and doesn't really care about her dad.

Mia: (she/her, trans straight woman) Mia doesn't like people prying into her life. She likes to keep herself away from other people and doing her own thing. She is engaged to Afton because he is like that as well. She is good at keeping secrets. That is all you need to know.

W: (he/him, cis straight man) Afton also hates people prying into him life but he does have something to hide. It's not like he cares if it ruins him or anything (he isn't going to stop) but he just hates people knowing. He keeps to himself just fine. He is a horrible liar though.

Francis: (he/him (she/her later) trans bi lesbian woman) Francis is too actually, clinically depressed to have a personality. He doesn't feel good in his body from a) being different from his family and b) that one incident on his old route that has scarred him for life and is probably why he ended up in two different exploitative relationships because he doesn't value his own body. He's just. What you see is what you get and what you see is a man who hasn't slept in a week yet lays in his bed for hours doing nothing.

Steven: (any, genderqueer objectum aromantic pansexual) Steven comes across as cold and sullen but really. He has resting B| face. He's heard to crack open, but once you do you can find someone who is very passionate about his interests. It's mostly planes. He loves making model planes, it keeps his hands busy and his mind off other things. He also just doesn't really care about what other people think of him, he already knows he's done horrible things (former war plane pilot) so really. Who goes a shit if he cuts his hair weird or wears a dress or kisses his plane (Nathan). He literally just wants to be happy.

Mclooy: (he/him, aromantic pansexual) Mclooy. Isn't that good of a person gonna be honest. He's also a former soldier (from when he was sixteen) and can never shake when that ingrained in him. He has had four wives (first one was when he was about to go to war and he wasn't allowed to see her again by her parents, second divorced him for being violent and rude, third had a breakdown and shot herself and almost shot Steven, and the fourth left him because yet again he wasn't a good partner). He struggles with talking about his issues and makes jokes about it. He does have PTSD from both the war and his wife's suicide, but also from.the fact he shot a man who had started a relationship with him when he first became a soldier and Mclooy was sure was going to start harming Steven and buried him in the backyard. Yeah. He like to pretend he's fine. He's also a dirty old man I'm sorry he just. He just is.

Alf: (he/him, cis straight man) Alf genuinely could not care less about other people. I do think he's a prosecutor, he's just so good at pointing out he flaws in other people. Again from dialogue he is quick to point fingers and probably doesn't feel like certain things can be changed. He also just doesn't consider how his actions affect other people, especially how his humour and comments affect his wife. I genuinely think they are the least healthy married couple.

Rafttellyn: (she/her, doesn't know yet) Rafttellyn is used to having money. She has spent her whole life preparing to be a housewife. She's not that big of a gossip but she loves talking about people behind their backs because she doesn't have the spine to say it to their face, but also finds a certain feeling of power by being able to say what she wants. She really just feels trapped. She doesn't like the backhanded comments Alf makes about small things like her cooking or weight, and she definitely doesn't like that he jokes with his friends about how much he wishes he could get someone younger. She really just has no self esteem.

[call-me-casual]

(Also posted to the LK community)

Okay who’s interested in hearing about the school au I thought up in the shower

Keep in mind that all following information is based on my experience in British education, I have no clue how American schools run different

First we have the kids - James and Henri are both kids from the foster system, James has been adopted by Moses, whilst Henri is still technically a foster (ik ik not Franklin but maybe they’re neighbours). Henri is definitely the class clown whilst James is ambitious, but not too sure how to achieve his academic goals. Sarah is an exchange student from the UK living with Franklin, who is either a relative in this au or a family friend like in canon. She and James initially don’t get along but over time through the newspaper club and sharing most classes they grow closer. Sarah is an A+ student and she tutors James and Henri after school.

Most historical figures are teachers or general staff, except for named foot-soldiers like Joseph Plum Martin or other young historical figures like Sybil Ludington, who would be fellow students

Franklin - the kids’ (or at least James and Sarah’s) tutor (I think Americans call it home room?). He teaches science, and it’s his love of teaching that’s kept him from retiring (though he probably should have years ago). He runs the school newspaper (which James and Sarah are both a part of)

Moses - I can see him as a member of the site team or subject technician of some kind (basically helps to prepare stuff like experiments and maintain the school, but more responsibilities than a janitor). He’s also doing an online university course to get his teaching degree (he’d most likely go into either engineering/dt). The adopted Father for James and foster parent to Henri. Has known Franklin for years and the two are next door neighbours

Lafayette - French. Obviously. He’s a younger teacher popular with the students. His class is the only one Henri doesn’t goof around in, and the two are very close (spoilers: he may end up adopting him). Constantly asking the finance department to let him take a class trip to France. If anyone acts up enough to make him mad the class all turns on that one person (based on my mother’s experience (coincidentally she was also a languages teacher lol)). Often gossips and speaks with Hamilton in French.

Adams - idk if they teach law or politics in American high schools but if not then he’s probably an English teacher. His students live in terror or presenting essays or debates because no one can beat the man. You either love him or hate him, there’s no in between with his classes. Probably head of the department

Hamilton - probably either English or history (though maths is also a contender because he was treasury secretary). Also a younger teacher popular with the students. Has almost gotten into a fight with other teachers. And students. Definitely runs the debate club. Expects assignments in a week before the deadline. Is one of the leaders in staff room gossip.

Washington - I know most people make him the head teacher but I’m not a huge fan of that. He’ll probably end up as the head eventually for this au, but for most of it I imagine him is a department head. I can see him teaching either history, maths or geography (he was a surveyor after all, I could see him being a really good geography teacher). He’s that teacher that looks intimidating but is actually very nice. Believes way more in practical than theory and WILL drag his class outside in any and all weather to do a study. He also looks after any of the animals the school owns. Sometimes brings his dog to class. Is DEFINITELY involved in staff room gossip

Abigail Adams - I can see her as either the school nurse or some sort of creative arts teacher

Phillis Wheatley - definitely either an English teacher (damn we got a lot of those) and if not then some sort of creative arts teacher who also runs a poetry club. If anyone acts up in her class the other students ensure the body is never found.

Please suggest what subjects and the sort other historical figures would teach or any other ideas you have relating to this! ^^ Idk if I’ll draw anything based on this but it’s fun to brainstorm!

[miniteezez]

Jungkook x fem reader

Isolation

Genre: fluff, lockdown, cute

Warning: injuries? Not detailed.

A/n: I'm currently writing a yoongi ff that's gonna be a little longer. These shorter one shots were written in 2021 during lockdown. They were written with other idols in mind also.

Day thirty - six in isolation, I sighed as I made my way out into my balcony. It was currently six pm. Cold out but still beautiful as the sun set over the mountains. Cup of hot tea cupped between my two hands, I took a sip whole staring out at the view. A flock of blackbirds flew over making me smile as they cried out their call. No people were around, obviously all stuck at home, apart from the few people delivering people's weekly food shop. My eyes shut as I took in the air which recently seemed much fresher, easier to breath in. That was due to lack of pollution, the one good thing to come out of all this mess. Hearing the flick of a lighter disturb my peace , I opened my eyes and looked to my left seeing a boy around my age, maybe slightly older, burning a photograph. I didn't know my neighbours as I had just moved to this apartment before lockdown begun, but right now I wish I did. He looked depressed, like something had hit him really hard. Watching the picture burn, he waited till the flames nearly touched his fingers before letting it fall.

"Are you Okay?" My voice was quiet but the boy heard and turned to look at me. Immediately he rubbed his face and cleared his throat.

"Yeah I'm fine." His voice shook indicating the lie he was telling me. Pressing my lips together, I glanced around thinking for a few seconds before looking back at him. It was a stupid idea and also illegal but the good person in me didn't care.

"Do you want to come over?"

"I'm not allowed.. " Sighing at his response I shrugged,

"Well yeah technically but, if we've both been isolating whats the Harm? It looks like you need someone right now." He blinked fast and nod before heading inside and locking the balcony door. Quickly, I went to my front door and opened it seeing him already there with his hand up ready to knock. Stepping aside, I let him in and took him to where my couch was. He sat down and stared at his lap, clearly anxious.

"What's your name? I'm (y/n)." I asked as I too sat beside him, keeping a little distance so I didn't scare him off.

"Jungkook..thanks for inviting me over..I was going crazy alone." He admitted, looking at me grateful, I just smiled.

"Didn't you think to message or Skype with your friends?" His face dropped, eyes watering. Bringing his hands up to rub his eyes, he mumbled.

"I dont have any, not anymore..." figuring this topic was the reason for his sadness, I scooted closer and placed a hand on his shoulder.

"Do you wanna rant about it? That will help lift the weight off I promise." Feeling him physically relax against my touch, he nod and took a deep breath in and began.

"I grew up with this guy..and he was the best friend ever. I really loved him like a brother but..just before all this he stole some money from me then pinned all my friends against him saying I'd beat him up.. " tears ran down his cheeks while he took a second to gather himself before continuing, I held his hand which he gripped tight.

"I didn't hurt him..but he..he did hurt me. When I caught him stealing I confronted him so he beat me..still have the cuts..cos he came back last week to try and "sort it out"..he just ended up getting mad." Jungkook put his head down, that's when I saw some of the bruises on his skin.

"I'm really sorry, you don't deserve that." I wrapped my arms around him, gently hugging him. He hugged back, burying his face into my neck for comfort as my hand rubbed his back soothingly. Feeling him wince a few times, I pulled back and looked at him.

"Want me to treat your wounds?"

"Do you know how?" He asked nervously, looking away I replied.

"I've had to treat a few of my own so, yeah." So I got up and lead kook into my bathroom helping him to sit on the edge of the tub. Whilst my back was turned, he slipped his shirt off and placed it next to him. Looking back at him, I could feel my face heating up. He was full of tattoos, once concealed by his shirt. Not expecting that, I ignored it and applied cream to the dark bruises that were dotted around his chest, arms and back. There was a deep cut on his shoulder so I aided it with ointment and placed a large plaster over it.

"You need to change it once a day. Otherwise it will get infected." He pouted and put his shirt back on carefully as I tidied everything away.

"Can you do it for me?"

"You'd have to come round every day." Immediately he smiled and nod standing up.

"Okay I will. It will be fun. Plus we'll both enjoy the company." He beamed making me smile.

A few weeks later, I was laying in bed around two pm just scrolling through my phone. Hearing my door open, I didn't even bother to look knowing who it was.

"Why are you still in bed?" Kooks voice didn't even make me flinch as he came over and laid beside me. Just shrugging, I hid under the covers only to feel arms wrapping around me. Instantly I relaxed and leant into his warmth.

"Come on you need to get up, keep your body clock going in the right way. Let's bake cookies." Smiling at his words, I nod and got myself up. We made our way to my kitchen and began to mix the dough. Once I had put the mixture in the oven, I turned seeing jungkook eating what dough was left in the bowl making me pull a face in disgust.

"You'll get food poisoning."

"Dont care." Together we laughed. I washed everything up, he dried then put the dishes away, helping me to get everything done right. Within twenty minutes, the cookies were done and kook got them out of the oven, placing the tray on the stove. Sitting myself on the counter, he took a hot cookie and fed me one whilst standing infront of me, between my legs. Nodding my head I looked up at him approvingly.

"Its really good...what's Up?" Noticing him staring at my lips, I asked him this. Instead of responding, he leant down and kissed the corner of my mouth then licked his lips.

"You had some chocolate there.." after staring at him in shock for a few seconds, I wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him down and kissing him properly. Eagerly, he kissed back, hands on my waist and inching slightly closer. Pulling away slowly, I smiled shyly and buried my face into his chest, making him chuckle. Jungkook ran his hand over my hair gently.

"I'm glad you let me in.." he spoke quietly , looking down then kissing my head. I looked up at him, a giant smile on my lips.

"So am I. I'm glad I could help to heal you." Nodding at me, he pecked my lips again before sealing me in a tight hug. Maybe lockdown isn't so bad after all.

[monfixity]

Trespass - Lee Minhyuk

Summary: You and Minhyuk met under unique circumstances before your love story started. Now that you were married and had a family of your own, you loved to look back on how life was and how a deal to unite two kingdoms became love. 

Spring had arrived and flowers were blooming everywhere. It was a perfect day to spend time with your family in the private section of your royal garden. While your son and daughter were running around through the garden, dodging hedges, and flowers you sat on the bench with your husband Minhyuk. He held your hand and watched his children play carefree. It was the best moment in life, seeing them carefree after all the rules they had to follow. You felt sad for them because you knew how hard it was. You both grew up as Crown Princess and Crown Prince. Surely you knew how terrifying all the responsibilities could be. The only difference was, that you tried everything in your power to give your children more freedom than your parents gave you.

While Minhyuk and you had to attend any event, your parents were invited to, your children never will attend them, unless they want to. Sure, when they are older, and about to become King or Queen, then they must attend more events. But for now, you let them be children.

Minhyuk turned to you and stroked your cheek and looked at you as if you were holding the world. “Can you believe that we came this far?” he said.

“It is a miracle indeed.” you turned to your husband, smiling at him. “Thank you for these amazing children, and this family we have now. Thank you for being by my side.”

Minhyuk leaned in and gave you a short, but passionate kiss. “Thank you as well. You are an incredibly strong woman, ruling our lands.” he smiled. “After almost getting me killed.” he leaned back and grinned.

You playfully hit him. “If I can remind you, I was holding back the guards!” you laughed as Minhyuk stroked his hand over his forehead, acting like he was glad.

“It was a great time nevertheless.” Minhyuk put his arm around you and pulled you on his chest, kissing your head.

 And indeed, it was a great time. Of course, the beginning was quite tragic, but you managed. And you always love looking back to how it all started:

 It was a morning during autumn. You remembered it clearly because the fog was thick and trees around you were slowly losing their leaves. Together with your guards, you were walking over the land, empty land where nothing was seen except the forest in the distance.

You loved the morning walk, it was some peace and silence you needed before facing reporters, and subjects wanting to see their future queen. But that morning the silence and peace were destroyed by trespassers, who either rode the wrong way or were there to disturb the royal family. The guards instantly drew their weapons holding them towards the man on the horse. As you looked up, putting your hand up to stop the sun shining into your eyes, you instantly knew he was not a normal trespasser. He had the emblem of the royal family next to your lands.

The man on the horse was Lee Minhyuk, the Crown Prince of Solani, the kingdom, right next to yours. You met his eyes, looking at you. When your eyes met you had no idea if that was some magic, but your heart instantly beat faster. Perhaps, it was because he was looking great. You could never deny that. But you came from two different kingdoms, that were not really the greatest friends. Technically, you weren’t enemies either. You were neighbours, fighting for untouched lands. This means, there was no way communication between you, The Crown Princess of Triana and the Crown Prince of Solani.

Nevertheless, you could also not let it happen that your guards will kill him. “Guards, put down the guns. It’s the Crown Prince of Solani.” you looked away from him and walked away from them, guards following you reluctantly.

“Crown Princess. I am here to talk to you.” he rode towards you.

“You’re trespassing my land, your majesty.” you stopped and looked up again. Minhyuk stepped from his horse and stood in front of you. His dark navy-blue royal suit looked amazing on him. It was emphasising his black hair and light skin.

“I am sorry I wasn’t sure where my land ended. I wanted to meet you when our lands meet. But now that I am here, do you have a minute, your majesty.” he bowed slightly.

“What could there possibly be that I could help you with.” you wondered.

“I have a suggestion to make, to stop the constant battle between our families for the land that we both want.” Minhyuk started.

You told the guards to step back a little and motioned Minhyuk to sit down on the bench underneath the tree. Before you sat down, Minhyuk put a cloth on the bench for you to sit on. You bowed as a thank you and sat down next to him, keeping your respectful distance.

“I listen.” you looked at the man next to you.

“My idea is that we ally, and rule over the lands together,” he suggested, looking up into your eyes.

“Are you asking me to marry you, Your Majesty?” you tilted your head to the side, not leaving his gaze.

“Yes, Your Majesty. This is what I am asking.” he stood up and held out his hand. “I am sure that we can be a great couple, not only for the alliance, but our parents don’t want to hear us being in love or anything,” he said.

“Are you saying you fell in love with me?” you smirked as you saw colour in his face.

“Your Majesty, are you trying to embarrass me?”

“Not at all, you stood up and took his hand. “I look forward to this alliance, and getting to know you, my future husband,” you smirked as he looked at you perplexed.

“You’re quite direct, Miss.”

“As my future husband, you should get used to that.” you looked back at him. “We see each other later in the meeting. Will we tell our parents there?”

“Yes, best if we do it now.” Minhyuk bowed and went back on his horse.

You bowed as well and watched him ride away.

 It was the start of a never-ending love that survived obstacles and a lot of judging from people around them. But now, the same people, who met under weird circumstances, are now Queen and King from the United Kingdom of Solani and Triana with two amazing children.

Monsta X Masterlist

[selachiixiv]

A very album-cover-y aesthetic shot of my trans/nb characters for TDOV

since I have actual space in this text box, from the left,

Intercessor Androc Chionades - One of my Ascians, he was deeply closeted from even himself as a living Amaurotine (essential headcanon thought: yes, Ancient society/Amaurot were a-okay and good with gender, but if you don't even know how to ask yourself why your skin fits wrong...) and thus hyperfocused on rigidly following the rules and on both legal and botanical studies. When brought into the Ascian fold later on and figured out his gender, the Convocation member he serves, Halmarut, turned him and his direct peers into living roses to preserve their shapes for all of history. Having stumbled into the company of Hyacinthe in the pursuit of Hybris, he wound up meeting his beloved girlfriend, Shrike, and in the wake of the loss of Zodiark, he focuses his time primarily on memorizing laws across Etheirys, particularly Ishgardian property and tax laws because it entertains Shrike to watch him make nobles sweat very loudly.

Doctor Drujan Daemir - That's not his name, and while technically that's not his proper title, he is a former high-ranking medicus, so same difference. With both massive amounts of medical training and formal Hannish alchemy training, he is in the process of becoming a self-built man. An admirable goal, were he in possession of anything resembling a moral compass.

Annette Rivers - A tiny brick wall and formerly a single parent - no longer technically a single parent since she's tracked down her son's father and parenting their ten year old is now a shared responsibility between a small queer village - she is now able to fuck around and figure out what is even what with her gender. She doesn't know where she's going just yet, but she's shifted to she/sir and an attitude of "not sure how much I give a shit about having any gender". Born and raised in the Brume, she's got not an ounce of patience for most nobles, a quick mind for numbers, a quicker gun, and an even quicker snark.

Darry - Being a sayaad means all the accompanying shapeshifting capabilities, and she's entirely capable of any of them, but generally she defaults to tiny and femme with a decided lack of attachment to any one way. There's more important things to her life, like figuring out where she belongs culturally having left the one she was born to incredibly far behind her. When I'm not losing track of what I'm doing she's poking experimentally at Xaelic culture to see how well she can find a fit.

Oberon Bloodworth - A bit of a self-fulfillment/spite-fueled character in creation (finding out someone didn't view you as a man will do these things), Oberon is a model (both for artists and for fashion) and the son of Duskwight anarchists who work from the shadows to destabilize Gridanian government. When not busy with either of these he lives out in the middle of fuck-off nowhere, neighboured to a group of kobolds who fled their kin and tempering, together forming an aggressive body to any outsiders to their respective groups that find their way out, especially if they come in a uniform.

Favrielle - one of my longest-lasting characters, Favri's gender fuckery began internally probably a long time before they really thought about it, then WoW implemented those gender swap potions and they canonically began fucking around with those and the thought that it felt right to them to present as either began crystallizing, although they themselves maintained a primarily feminine presentation for some years until shortly after bearing their own child - an experience that also involved absorbing their selves from multiple alternate timelines and the associated power thereof - they shifted presentation drastically. When not ignoring the laws of man and physics alike, Favri parents their younger children, tries to grow ever-more-ridiculously-spicy peppers, leads kink seminars, parades their personal neon sign fiancé around, and sometimes lights people on fire for making exploitive contracts.

("gee Toby", you might say, "you sure do like giving your trans characters an outlaw streak if not an outright OP one or both", and you're right 🥰)

[laz-laz-ace-pilot]

I appreciate you responding - prior to working in a major theme park I was very trusting in ride safety too.

But I can't stress enough how parks (both major and minor) will push safety to the limit in order to maintain appearances. And it doesn't have to kill you - minor injuries are still worth avoiding.

At the park I worked at, we had multiple rides that were not designed to be outside - we operated in what was essentially a concrete bowl in the tropics with frequent high temperatures and storms. The rides would malfunction after rain, in humidity and frequently burned guests and staff; on site mechanics were trying to patch up issues that the ride was never supposed to get in the first place. The emergency stop on one ride would suspend riders upside down for five minutes.

None of this was available to the public.

One children's ride I operated would frequently burn children. I would report this to management and every time I was told to keep operating. Parents wouldn't report to first aid (they wanted to get the most out of their day) and the park never recorded these burns.

People will get whiplash, head injuries, bruises, cuts - but most won't want to waste time in First Aid. These injuries don't get reported.

When they bought in new rides, some that had had accidents occur at their previous homes, they were repainted, remodeled and rebranded. Guests wouldn't be aware they were riding something that had previously given concussions and lacerations at other parks.

There's also staffing. By law, operators shouldn't be intoxicated, injured or too tired, else they risk increased human error. But testing was lax, and staff were frequently injured working the rides - management were aware and kept them working. We often worked 12hr days and up to 11 days in a row with 50min break a day (technically illegal in that state but there was a 'special arrangement' due to the tourism value of the park) - we were exhausted and we still worked.

I passed out operating a ride - trapping 40 guests on a 5 tonne machine that no longer had an operator in control.

A few months before I started, a new rule was implemented that operaters had to be 18+. This was because at the neighbouring park - four minutes drive away - had an incident where four people were killed on a water ride operated by a 17yr. It wasn't operator error - the ride hadn't been maintained properly - but they tried to blame her. Court ruled that she couldn't be held responsible. So every park changed the rules - not to protect guests, but because they couldn't sue a teenager.

This was at the 'best' Park in the country - the rival park was also top tier. Both have deals with big film IPs. I had colleagues who had worked Disney Florida, Six Flags in California, Thorpe Park in the UK. None of this was unique.

Theme parks are a business and the millionaire owners will cut corners to keep profits up. And change only happens when people get hurt.

(All my love forever to the First Aid team - the real backbone of any theme park!)

i’ve seen a lot of really messed up images in my time on the internet, weird fetish shit, even a few IRL gore images but nothing. NOTHING evokes such a deep seated, gut wrenching fear in me like this image of the fucking water slide from Action Park with the loop in it

[allthemusic]

Week ending: 14th May

Two very averagely named artists this week. Seriously, you had no in-between in the 1950s, it seems. Every artist either had the most ridiculous name ever (hi, Conway Twitty!) or literally had a name that's just, like, your next-door neighbour. And half the time the average ones were stage names. Like, somebody chose "Frankie Vaughan" of all names. It's not the worst stage persona ever. But it's far from the best, either. Oh well. At least our first artist was born with his (excedingly average) name.

I've Waited So Long - Anthony Newley (peaked at Number 3)

Our first song this week, and it starts with a vaguely doo-wop-ish intro, but echoey, like the people singing are stood quite some distance apart from each other. And then into that comes Anthony Newley, launching into what's fundamentally a pretty standard rock and roll ballad, but Anthony has a pretty distinctive style, enunciating each word clearly and emotional, all in a very British accent. In this respect, he's credited as a pretty major influence on David Bowie, and yeah, that absolutely tracks, hearing this.

Like I said, aside from the atypically British voice, this is a pretty standard rock and roll ballad, though, all about how I've waited so long, a lifetime it seems / For someone to step right out of my dreams. Anthony's lonely, you see, though he's also confident that it will all be worth it, once he meets his dream girl: It will be so wonderful / When love comes my way / No more lonely hours / They'll just fade away. It's wistful, a sort of bittersweet note to end on, with this longing, hopeful glimpse of a love that hasn't come along yet, and isn't really guaranteed to come along at all, despite Anthony's apparent certainty.

Interestingly, I've just looked Anthony Newley up a bit, and it turns out he's best known not as a singer, but as a songwriter. In particular, he's responsible for the music from the 1971 Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory film and also the 1964 Goldfinger theme. Plus, he wrote the song Feeling Good (the Nina Simone one). Which is a shocking amount of properly recognisable things - I'm genuinely surprised I hadn't heard of him!

Come Softly To Me - Frankie Vaughan (9)

And then, inevitably, the cover version of last week's Fleetwoods number. It was bound to happen. The original had such a distinctive, catchy vibe, and felt so straightforward and pleasingly intimate - of course other artists would want to put their own spin on it, would want to capture some of that same magic.

Ironically, though, I think the same simplicity that gave the original a lot of its charm also makes it a tricky song to cover - you're either stuck reproducing it one-for-one (both unoriginal and kind of pointless) or you've got to find something to add (difficult to pull off without losing what made the song distinctive). In Frankie's case, he adds a heavier instrumental backing, with a more strummy guitar sound, plus somebody noodling round on what sounds like a cymbal, and on top of that he ups the number of female backing singers from two to three. They're not massive changes, but they make the whole thing feel heavier, and in particular, you've lost a lot of the delicacy that came from the picked guitar backing. Where the original felt laid back and informal, a jam session that just so happened to get recorded, this feels like a much more deliberate performance.

It's still a pleasant enough listen, that said. And I appreciate even more in this version the sheer test of endurance that the song is for its male singer. Seriously, he keeps up a steady stream of dum dum, dum ba dooo dum, ba da-ba dum literally through the whole song, except for when he's singing actual lyrics - there's barely a pause for him to breathe. Just technically, it's impressive, and then to make it sound so carefree and effortless, on top of that? No mean feat!

Yeah, I didn't mind either of these songs, though I also didn't love either of them wildly. I think Anthony's voice, while interesting, is mostly interesting purely for its David Bowie connection. Aside from that, I've Waited So Long is quite a mopey ballad. And Frankie's version of Come Softly to Me is also quite clearly inferior to the original. Still, it's a good enough song, just on its own merits, that even with the changes Frankie's made, I'm finding myself quite enjoying it. So...

Favourite song of the bunch: Come Softly to Me

[simswithkittywitch]

In the meantime, Jefferson had finished his confinement and bore a son, who he named Alfonso. Nikoli was very understanding of this situation and helped him expand the basement into a lovely nursery, which came in handy as nearly as soon as his first son was born, Jefferson was again abducted and Rudolph, his second son, was born.

Madelyne was very sympathetic to his situation and offered to help in any way she could.

"I appreciate as much help as I can get with child-rearing, especially since I'm afraid to go to my mother for advice. She's not going to believe that I gave birth to these boys myself, and my step-father has already told me that he's not speaking to me until I make an honest woman of their mother." he sighed in exasperation. "Who I have no idea how to find in the first place."

"...I could help you find a mother."

"I appreciate the sentiment, Madelyne, but even I'm not sure how you would go about that. Perhaps, between you, me, and your father, we might be able to test out his design for a Flyamagig, but even if we manage to get it off Simearth, we don't know what planet their mother came from, much less who on that planet is responsible."

"I was thinking something a bit closer to home." Madelyne admitted. "Look, Jefferson, you're right about one thing. No one is going to believe you gave birth to these boys. Most people in town have already decided exactly where they came from. I'm just saying, if it would make it easier on the children to have the 'parents' admit to what everyone else has already assumed, I'll do it."

"But... but Madelyne, people think..." Jefferson trailed off. "You're only seventeen, I could never have..."

"I know that and you know that, and... being born out of wedlock to a teenage girl is not the best way to start a life, particularly if one wants the respect of their neighbours, but if the alternative is admitting that they aren't human, it's something to consider." she explained. "And I'm not just offering to lie for you. I'm offering to mother your children, if you'll have me. It's clear they're going to have a difficult life, and I truly want to help with that in any way I can. They're living in my house, so they're going to be part of my life. I'm just offering to be part of theirs, if that's agreeable to you."

Jefferson's mouth went dry. He didn't know quite what to say to that.

"...I think about it. But please, Madelyne, I want you to think about it, too."

I’m going to try to get through the “backstory” section of Newcrest Legacy as quickly as possible, since now all of was done over three years ago for me and I’d like to bring this blog up to speed. This is also why this is technically the 1830s generation and it looks nothing like the 1830s.

[wiseedition]

'I understand his frustration': Russian player Kachmazov after Ukraine's Orlov refused handshake

Russia's Kachmazov says he has no issues with Ukraine's Orlov despite being snubbed during Chennai Open qualifiers but feels it's not right to call him out for something that he has no control over.

BENGALURU: Exactly a week ago, Alibek Kachmazov encountered the war that his country, Russia, had unleashed on neighbouring Ukraine, a war that has caused tens of thousands of deaths. The 20-year-old was playing in the Chennai Open qualifiers and was up against Ukrainian Vladyslav Orlov. After Kachmazov’s victory, Orlov refused a handshake.

“I think Russian and Belarusian players should be banned until their country stops invading other countries,” he had told The New Indian Express.

Kachmazov, who advanced to the second round of the Bengaluru Open with a 3-6, 7-5, 6-2 victory over Maximilian Neuchrist on Tuesday, was inevitably faced with questions on Orlov’s words after the match. His response, though, was that he had no problems with the Ukrainian's statement. “I understand his frustration. He has a family there. No one wants this,” he said. “When he says stuff like ‘I hope he cannot play’, I understand his frustration. He doesn’t want to shake hands with me after the match, that is also not a problem.

“I respect the Ukrainian guys, I have no problems with any one of them.” At the same time, Kachmazov also emphasized that it was unfair to penalise him for something that he had no control over (though a number of his sponsors allegedly support the war, a charge made by Orlov in Chennai).

“From my side, I cannot say stuff like he is saying. Because I think he is wrong. We are all professional athletes. I think he must understand that I am a professional athlete too. It is not in my hands what is going on there. I am just playing tennis. When he says this, it is his choice, but I will never say this,” Kachmazov said.

Kachmazov is in Bengaluru technically as a man without a nationality — Russian players are allowed in international tournaments as individuals, but cannot represent their nation. Kachmazov says that playing with a blank space next to his name on the scoreboard isn’t ideal. But at the same time, he is just happy, he gets to play at all.

“When it started a year ago, we had some problems as someone was saying we would not be able to play anywhere and that they would block us from international tournaments.

"I am just playing, you know? I am just happy that they are giving me a chance to play. I am playing without a flag. It is not what I wanted, but it is what it is,” he said.

“I have been doing this (playing tennis) for 15 years, which is most of my life. We are professional athletes. We just go and play, with flag, without flag. We are just doing our jobs. I am just playing and that is it,” Kachmazov added.

[loverboybitch]

yes i do look raggedy and sweaty but like in a hot way.//.

[libraryofloveletters]

Love Delivered To Your Doorstep

Evan Buckley x Reader

Warnings: fem!reader, mentions of cheating, break ups and killing/serial killers. (<in a joking context) 

Category: fluff for the most part. 

Word Count: 3.9k

Author’s Note: Doesn’t follow canon, it has a little of buck begins in there but it doesn't follow a strict timeline. It also is written like Buck moves to LA and has his apartment from the moment he moves there while trying to figure out what he wants to do. 

-----

Texting and calling was never your choice method of communication. 

Letters had always been more of your thing. 

Truthfully, they hadn't been your thing until your boyfriend moved halfway across the country for university. The two of you met in high school, freshman year and became inseparable since. Growing together and promising to always love each other no matter what -you always knew that couldn't be true but it never stopped you from telling him. 

When he told you that he was going to be applying to UCLA during your senior year of high school, it came as a bit of a shock to you. The plan was always going to college together, get engaged when you were done school and then married with a house by 30. 

You held out the hope of that being possible until the day he showed you his acceptance letter. 

You were incredibly proud of him but it was real now, he was leaving. 

You watched him pack up his entire life and uproot himself from New York and moved across the country. You sent the first letter to him at what was supposed to be his apartment. 

September 30th.

‘Hi baby! 

Just writing to see how you're settling in. How’s UCLA ? Have you gotten a chance to go around and get to see the place ? I know you’re there for school but you've got to live a little too. Hope your neighbours are sweet, your mom told me it’s a pretty nice place and it’s got a good view, sounds like your type of place. Hopefully I can come visit you soon. 

I started my classes last week. My chem professor is a pain in my ass already, he expects us to read an entire textbook in a week - well not exactly an entire textbook but you get the point. My biology professor is a sweetheart, she showed us pictures of her kids and talked about them for an hour, I didn't realize being a mother was so interesting but she was cool. Also showed us a video of an appendectomy that one of her colleagues performed last week. How are your classes and professors ? 

Did I mention I bumped into Sam at the grocery store ? Yeah, he’s back and he’s not fine to tell you the truth. He seemed like he was ready to snap but that might just be my judgment. He said to tell you hello if I spoke to you so- hello :) 

I’m going to sign off here, I know this one is short but I don’t have much to update you on. Life’s been pretty dull without you. Hope you’re having fun out there, soaking up the sun for me.

Write me back soon, I love you. 

Yours always, y/n’

You mailed the letter the next day, a few weeks had passed before you received a letter back. Except this letter had a different sender name but the same address.

October 22nd. 

‘Hi y/n,

This isn't your boyfriend. (I'm assuming that’s who you're writing too based on the context of the letter) I’m Evan, I live in the apartment you thought belonged to your boyfriend or maybe you got the address wrong, I’m not sure.  I know you were waiting for an update on all these exciting things that are happening at UCLA. I do not go to UCLA nor can I update you in anything exciting that’s happening there, sorry.

Anyways, the reason I'm writing you back is because I figured you’d want to know that this isn't the correct address and the person you were looking for isn't here before you send another letter and get no response. I was debating if I should have even written you back, but here I am, writing you back. 

Your professor for chem seems like an ass to be honest (hope that’s not rude) and your biology professor sounds great, is she hot by the way ? because bonus points for that. Anyways, are you studying medicine ? I'm guessing yes because of the classes you're taking. I'm thinking of signing up to become a first responder but I haven’t decided yet on what yet or if I'm actually going to do it. Anyways, good luck on your classes and the shitty chem professor. 

Hope you find your boyfriend (again, assuming) 

Peace out, 

Evan.’

To say you were shocked would be an understatement. How could the letter you sent to your boyfriend’s apartment belong to someone else ? Why was there someone else living in his apartment ? You dug through your apartment, searching for the paper he left you with the address, you finally found it buried in a drawer.

The address on the paper was identical to the one that Evan sent to you and to the one you sent prior to that. Either your boyfriend was lying or you were losing your mind. 

November 4th. 

‘Dear Evan, 

I'm sorry that I sent the first letter to you and as you guessed, I was looking for my boyfriend who seems to be a bit MIA right now. His mother says that’s the right address and the place that she helped him move into. So I'm not really sure what’s happening there. Anyways, sorry for unloading all of that on you. 

To answer your question, yes, I am studying medicine and no, she isn't hot. My bio professor is a 65 year old woman who loves her college aged kids very much. If that’s your definition of hot, then yes - she's got milf status

Have you decided yet if you’re going to sign up to be a first responder ? That’d be pretty cool. Imagine all the girls swoon over you and how many girls you’d pick up just for being a paramedic or a firefighter. 

Wait, are you into girls ? Or guys ? You know, whoever you're into, just imagine how many of them you’d pick up. 

Also, you’re not a murderer or anything right ? because I rather not answer questions when the police come asking about why I've been sending letters to a serial killer. 

Anyways, signing off for now. 

Yours always, y/n. 

ps. if you do end up bumping into or meeting a guy that looks like my boyfriend, (tall, brown hair, brown eyes. he’s got a pierced ear and a little butterfly tattoo by his collarbone- though not sure why or how you'd see his collarbone) let me know or tell him that his girlfriend is looking for him.

Double ps, what size shirt do you wear ?’

Buck laughed at your absurd question. A person he didn’t even know was asking what size shirt he wore. The letter was set on the coffee table with the rest of the mail, getting buried under all of the stuff he had on there. It was almost the end of December when he realized that he hadn't written you back yet. 

December 21st. 

‘Hey y/n, 

Sorry I've taken so long to get back to you. Things have been hectic over here. I’ve been doing some ‘soul-searching’ - I guess you could call it that and honestly, I don’t think if this whole first responders thing is for me. 

I tried out bartending or well, the technical term is mixologist and I’m liking it so far, I think i’m going to stick with it for now. 

How have you been ? How’s school ? Surely, you’re on break for the holidays right about now or at least when you get this letter. I hope that you're spending the break doing something fun. 

I’m not going to make this very long, I’m sure you’ve been busy with whatever you’re doing right now. 

Also, I’ve been meaning to ask. Have you located the mysteriously disappearing boyfriend yet ? I haven't seen anyone that fit your description. 

well, that’s not true- I did and just to be sure I asked to see his collarbone, he looked at me like I was a mad man so I guess it wasn't him ? 

Anyways, I hope you have a good holiday and you're probably gonna get this sometime between holidays, so merry belated (?) Christmas and happy New Years y/n. 

Peace out, 

Evan. 

ps. medium or large, depending on what it is. Hopefully that answers your question weirdo.’

January 13th. 

The morning of the 13th, he went down to check his mail. A box was there with his name on it, the return address was one he had only seen on an envelope. The box returned upstairs with him, setting it on the counter before opening it. 

Upon opening it, there was a letter and some colourful tissue paper with what seemed like a sweater under it. He opened the letter first.

‘Dear Evan, 

Happy New Years! How was your holiday going ? Did you do anything fun ? 

I’ve been good and school is good too, I'm almost done my first year, isn't that crazy ? Just a few more months to go. 

How’s your job as mr. mixologist going ? I'm sure you’ve met some wild people and heard some interesting stories. 

As for the boyfriend situation, that's over. I’m not surprised to tell you the truth but it still kinda sucks. Anyways, so what happened was that his older brother had come home from college last year and brought a friend with him. She went to the same school as his brother but transferred to UCLA- anyways long story short, they hooked up while he and I were still together and he moved in with her after his mom helped him move into the apartment I thought he had. 

But! I’m single and chilling now so it’s all good. (bonus, she cheated on him and left him so yeah) 

I got you a little something for Christmas and as a “sorry for unloading all my boyfriend drama on you” present. I was in the gift shop and it made me think of you. Do you celebrate Christmas? I forgot to check oops. If you don't, count it as a just a “sorry for unloading all my boyfriend drama on you” present? 

I got a large because I wasn't sure if it would fit. I hope you like it. That’s all for now.

Yours always, y/n.’

He unwrapped the tissue paper to see a blue sweater with the letters NYU on it. He smiled, he assumed that’s where you went. It was sweet that you took the time to get him something, even if it was a by the way thing. Not a lot of people would send something to a person they had been talking to via letters and halfway across the country. 

February 12th. 

2 days before Valentine's Day, your least favourite holiday of the year. You weren't looking forward to watching all your friends going on with their boyfriends and girlfriends. The mail had arrived while you were out, you picked it up and headed in. There were two envelopes with your name on it,  a plain white one and a red one. The red envelope was more squared than rectangular, you assumed it was a card- both had the same sender name. 

‘Hey y/n!

Thank you for the sweater, it was nice of you to think of me and get me something. I didn’t know we were doing gifts or I would have sent you something as well and yes, I do celebrate Christmas. 

My job as ‘mr. mixologist’ was going well until I quit. It just didn’t feel like the right fit for me you know ? I'm going to see what else is out there for me. 

Sorry to hear about your boyfriend, he seems like a douche. Who would cheat on you ? You seem great I mean at least you are on paper (did you get my joke, it’s hard to tell) 

Also, remember how I was thinking I might actually give that first responder thing a try? Imagine me as a firefighter, that’s pretty cool right ? 

So I kinda did a thing and signed up and then I got in. I started two weeks ago and it was kicking my ass at first but I've gotten a hang of it and things are going pretty well. There's three other Evans in my class so everyone calls me Buck-I kind of like it. 

The other envelope, hopefully you opened this one first, is a little something for you for valentines. Hope you like it. 

Peace out, 

Buck’ 

The red envelope was on your lap, you pulled the edges carefully not wanting to rip it. Inside was a plain white card with bright red letters that made you laugh. The cover read ‘I’m not sick of you yet!” Opening the card, a $20 fell onto your lap. There was a little message inside that went along with the cash. 

‘Since we aren't together and can’t spend valentines together, there’s some cash to get yourself a box of chocolates and a teddy bear. Happy Valentines Day y/n

Love, Buck.’ 

You smile, this was the first time that Buck had signed with ‘love, buck’ it had always been ‘peace out, buck.’ You tucked the card into the drawer, one you didn’t use very often so you knew it’d be safe there. 

*4 years later*

A few weeks had passed since Buck had last heard from y/n. His last letter to her was at the end of June, telling her all about the day he had spent at Hen and Karen’s. He always described every little detail so vividly that it made her feel like she was there with him- but it was now July, end of actually and moving into August. 

4 years had blown like nothing.

It felt like just yesterday he got the first letter in the mail. 4 years and they still had no idea what each other looked like but they knew every intricate and intimate detail about each other, their lives and the people in it. 

Y/n and Buck had grown rather close over the last few months- more than they already were. Y/n just went through a pretty shitty break up and Buck wasn't exactly big on relationships as of right now. 

He had just gotten home from work, his keys set on the counter when he realized that he forgot to check his mail. Stepping back out, there was a woman in the hallway and boxes scattered across her, leading into the apartment down the hall. 

She must be his new neighbour.

He wanted to go over and introduce himself but she was busy telling the movers where to set her couch so he decided that he would check the mail and then introduce himself when he returned so he did just that. 

Except, she was still busy. 

She leaned against the wall, watching the movers move what looked like a coffee table. She glanced up to see Buck walking by, she smiled and he returned the smile. 

Buck reaches his apartment, the mail in hand and steps in. He sorts through the pile, bills, ads, coupons and no letter from y/n. 

---

Your new apartment was a mess. You decided it was time for a change. You applied to a few hospitals after your break up and the one in LA hired you. So you dropped everything and moved- no family, no ties. 

A fresh start. 

It was a nice neighbourhood and the building was quiet. The neighbours you met were pleasant and welcoming. When you were having the furniture moved in, there was a blonde man who smiled at you and you assumed he lived in the unit down the hall because that’s where he stepped into. 

It was almost 11pm when you finally sat down. You had been on your feet all day and just wanted to eat something. The box with the dishes was beside the couch, you pulled the tape off and opened it. There was an envelope sitting on top of the stack of plates. 

Buck’s last letter to you. 

You must have tossed it into the boxes while packing and you forgot to write him back. Tumbling through the boxes, you find a sheet of paper and a pen from your bag. Sitting on the floor, the paper resting on an unopened box, you begin writing. 

‘Dear Buck, 

I’m sorry I've taken so long to get back to you. I quit my job, and uprooted my entire life. The break up sucked major ass as you know, so I decided it was time for a change. 

Guess where I decided to go ? 

Did you guess yet? 

No, not Canada, why would you guess Canada ? 

LA! 

Yeah, isn't that crazy that I ended up here of all places? Maybe we could get together one day (if you haven’t turned into a crazy serial killer that is.) 

Anyways, that’s why I've taken so long to write. I was packing when I got your letter and I tossed it in a box and just found it again. Anyways, I hope you’ve been good, how have things been at the station ? 

I promise I'll write again with more details soon, I just have to get settled in first. 

Yours always, y/n.’ 

Folding the paper, you slipped into an envelope. The address being scribbled into the back of the envelope. You were about to seal it when the building number caught your eye. 

It was the same number as the place you moved into. The same address, the building number, the same floor. 

The unit number was the only difference. 

There was no way you moved into the building that Buck lived in. 

You knew the address felt familiar when you saw the listing but you didn’t think anything of it nor did it occur to you that you knew the address. 

Stepping out of your apartment, looking at the number on the room and back down at the envelope in your hand. Buck’s apartment was down the hall. 

Part of you just wanted to mail it and keep things as it was but another part of you wanted to meet him, to see what he was really like in person. So there you were walking down the hallway at a quarter past 11 in the dead of the night to meet a man you had been sending letters to for the last 4 years. 

The end of the hallway, you stared at the black wooden door in front of you. Your brain weighing the options right now: he’s a sweetheart and welcoming and makes you feel comfortable or he’s a weird guy who’s been lying to you this whole time and you told him everything about you and now he’s going to kill you. 

Before you could register what you were doing, you knocked on the door. 

Glancing down at yourself, you were wearing a pair of old shorts and a t-shirt from high school that you found in a drawer while packing. Not an ideal outfit, maybe he’s sleeping and you can go home and change- the door opened, a man wearing sweatpants and a t-shirt stood there. He looked like he had just woken up. 

“Sorry, did I wake you?” 

“It's alright,” he yawned, his hand covering his mouth as he blinked away a few tears. “What can I do for you ?” he leaned against the door. 

“Um, this is an odd question-” you shifted, glancing down at the envelope in your hand. “Are you Buck ?” 

“I am, who are you ?” 

“Y/n.” 

You had never seen a man wake up that fast, he seemed surprised, confused and concerned all in one. “How- uh, are you- What ?” he mumbled. 

“I found your letter in the box after I moved, I moved into the apartment down the hall” you point to your left, Buck sticks his head out of the doorway and looks at the door you were pointing to. You were the woman in the hallway that he saw earlier, he knew you looked familiar. 

“I just wrote your letter and I noticed that the addresses were the same, just a different unit number so I decided to come check. Sorry if I bothered you, we can talk another day- it’s late and you probably have work” “Would you like to come in?” he opens the door a bit more, looking to you for an answer. 

“Um, okay sure.” stepping in, you can’t help but glance around. The apartment was similar to yours, the layout was a bit different though. “Can I get you something to drink ? Coffee, water ? A beer ?” he rounded the kitchen counter, you took a seat on one of the chairs by the counter. 

“Water’s fine, thanks” 

He reached for a bottle from the fridge, sliding it over to you. You gave him a smile, he leaned against the counter and was now looking- studying you. 

“I know we’ve talked to each other for 4 years but this is kinda strange” you chuckled awkwardly, Buck can't help but smile. 

“Yeah, it is, isn't it? but can I ask why you moved to LA?” 

“Well all of that was in the letter” you slide the envelope across the counter and he picks it up, opening it. Giving him a few moments to read, you watch his expression like you were hoping for some insight as to how he was feeling or what he was thinking. He let out a laugh, “how’d you know I'd guess Canada ?” you smiled at him, a small wave of relief washing over you for some reason. “Lucky guess I suppose” 

“Do you-” “What are-” the sentences cutting each other off, the two of you awkwardly smiling at each other. “You first” looking at him, he hums. 

“Do you have work tomorrow or are you busy ?” His eyes meet yours, you found yourself leaning forwards towards the counter- towards him. He made you feel comfortable, you’d go as far as to say safe, in a way you’ve never felt before. 

“No, I don't start until the 21st. Why ?” 

“I was thinking - if you're not busy and if you want to, of course. Maybe I could take you out for breakfast and I could show you around ? Or lunch or dinner ? Whatever works for you actually” he rambles, fiddling with his fingers to avoid eye contact. 

A small laugh slips past your lips causing him to look up, his brows furrowed as he studies your face, looking for an answer. 

“Breakfast sounds good, what time should I be ready for ?” 

“Uh, is 10 okay ?” he asks, you nod. “I’ll be ready for 10 then.” 

“Okay, I'll pick you up” he smiles. 

“Buck, we live in the same building.” 

“Oh right,” he chuckles, “well I'll be by yours at 10 then” the two of you smiling at each other. 

“Okay.” 

----

taglist: @advicefromnixxxx @dralexreid @keenmarvellover @beth-winchester21 @fernandaweasley2 @yikesyikesyikes95 @hotchsdarling @duhbar1975 @hailsstormthings @averyhotchner  @captainxholmes @venusrosepetal @luke-alvez​ @looney-literature @caitsymichelle13​ @artemishunter18​ @anxiousblanketqueen​

[twstheadcanons]

Self-Indulgent TWST Geography

A long post of generalised geography headcanons for the world of TWST complete with continents for my own personal needs.  The post divides locations by Continent.

Anyway why is there a homeland whose name is just the definition of a desert.

Continents (and ocean)

Errant - a western continent in Twisted Wonderland. Mzunguko - the second largest continent in Twisted Wonderland.   Yalmae - the largest continent in Twisted Wonderland.   Abíní - a continent West of Errant. Tridente Ocean - the largest ocean in Twisted Wonderland.

Errant

Rose Kingdom – a country in the western region of Errant. It isn’t a particularly large country, and traveling from it to its neighbouring countries is possible via buses or car. Crownsshire – a county in Rose Kingdom Crowns – the capital  of Crownsshire. It is the town Riddle, Trey, and Che’nya live in.  

Land of Pyroxene – a large country in Errant.  Known for its cold, snowy winters and history with legends pertaining to five of the Great Seven. Waldburg – province Vil’s family is from.  Largely influenced by another country within Errant. Argent – a province in Land of Pyroxene.   Verre – a city in Argent.  Trein and Cater are from here.  Félicité Cosmetics originates here. Miroir – a province in Land of Pyroxene.  Has a large outlet mall popular with fashion-lovers and shopaholics.  The Ténèbres brand originates here. Enchantée – a town in Miroir. Jack and Vargas live here, whilst Vil and his father move here. Scharlachrot - a province in Land of Pyroxene. Epel’s Village of Harvest resides here, and is famous for its widespread organic produce.

Isle of Lamentation – island country, its popularised global name is a translation from the isle’s original Nísos Thrínos.  It has robust technological advancements and is the homeland of the popular idol group On the Edge, known for having concerts with elaborate imagery and visual effects from some of the best technicians available.  Due to legends of the God of the Underworld,  dogs are extremely popular on the Isle of Lamentation. Kapnós – capital of the Isle of Lamentations where the Shroud family resides.  

Valley of Thorns – an isolated country small in population, largely consisting of a large mountain range.  The closer one is to where its Queen resides, the colder it gets.  It is said the Valley of Thorns can go weeks with nothing but moonlight. Geimhreadh - technically the name of the forest near the Valley of Thorns’ mountain range, where the Queen makes her home at its peak.  Its name spread to the residential areas nearby.

Mzunguko

Afterglow Savannah – country in Mzunguko,  ‘Afterglow’ acts as a loose translation of its name, Baadaye.  It lies in eastern Mzunguko.  Famous for its royal guards and leading role in nature conservation. Kiburi – a county in the east of the Afterglow Savannah. Mwamba – capital of Kiburi, where the Kingscholar royal family lives. Maisha – a county in Afterglow Savannah, with its capital sharing the same name.   Jioni – a town in Maisha.  Ruggie and his family live here.

Manyoya – county in Afterglow Savannah.  Well-known for a famously expansive library and a high population of avian beastfolk. Uzuri  – a city in Manyoya, where Rook is from.

Yalmae

Land of Hot Sands – one of many countries in the continent of Yalmae,.  Within the country, it’s referred to as Aldif’.  Rich with its magical history and origins of astrology, Aldif’ nurtures Magicians skilled in divination.  It has a vivid musical scene as well. Misbah - governate of Aldif’. Yatamanaa – capital of Misbah, a largely lucrative city within Aldif’ and city where Kalim and Jamil live.

Abíní

Port of Jubilee - a diverse nation where Sam’s family lives, owning an extensive emporium.  A vast amount of cultures reside in Port of Jubilee, many sharing common ancestors and languages with one another. Nanm - province in Port of Jubilee. Sekrè - port town in Nanm that Sam is from.  His family owns an impressive emporium popular with locals.

Tridente Ocean

Coral Sea - a sea within the Tridente Ocean.  Many of coastlines range across countries within Errant, Mzunguko, and Yalmae.  Beneath its waters lies a kingdom sharing the same name as the sea.  

Name Trivia

Continents (and ocean)

Errant - the continent of Errant has the homelands based off movies such as Alice in Wonderland, Snow White, Hercules, Sleeping Beauty, Beauty and the Beast, and Cinderella.  The name stems from certain scenes in the movie marking a particular moment the protagonists feel out of place or stray off the expected course.

Alice in Wonderland: Alice’s misadventures begin when she makes the decision to follow a strange rabbit, straying off the course of simply reading and studying as her sister wished, where the curious and at worst annoying strange creatures and nature of Wonderland take a turn when she meets the Caterpillar, who questions Alice’s place and identity, and the stress of her situation and being unable to return home overwhelms her emotionally.

Snow White - the horrific moment Snow White, in a state of panic, rushes through a dark forest, where her fears envision hidden horrors within the trees and wildlife.

Hercules - after refusing to listen to Phil’s warnings about Megara being in cahoots with Hades, Hercules faces the devastating fact that Megara (reluctantly) deceived him, and loses his superhuman strength and faith in himself.

Sleeping Beauty - shortly after meeting a man she falls for, Aurora becomes devastated and resigned to her fate being betrothed to a complete stranger out of responsibility for her future and country.

Beauty and the Beast - Maurice’s ventures through a mysterious forest consequently leads him to the Beast’s castle in a desperate attempt to escape cold, only to be imprisoned by the Beast for intruding, ultimately putting the story into motion.  After Belle makes a deal to swap places with her father and free him, Belle starts off terrified and in over her head despite saving her father’s life.

Cinderella - after the mice’s hard work creating a fitting ballgown for Cinderella to enjoy the ball, her stepsisters ruin the dress and Cinderella’s chances of leaving her oppressive family’s home.  Her distress and tears lead her to meeting the Fairy Godmother.

Mzunguko - “circle” in Swahili, the language prominent in Lion King’s names, lyrics, and Rafiki’s dialogue, as well as the official language of Kenya, where much of the movie’s settings take inspiration and blatantly feature.  Taken from the iconic “Circle of Life” song.

Tridente Ocean - “trident” in Italian.  Yes, I hear you.  The author is from Denmark.  The statue is in Denmark.  The movie references the statue in Denmark.  However the surname Ashengrotto and Azul’s mother running a ristorante screams Italian and there’s the overall edgy mafia vibe the Octatrio has going on.  I win this one.

Yalmae -  “shine” in Arabic (يلمع).  I wanted a name that illustrated the vibrant, lively diversity of the continent’s many countries, cultures, flora, and fauna.  Something akin to a name that inspires a welcoming feeling.

Abíní - “morning” in Navajo.  I wanted a name that inspires energy and enthusiasm, like a sunrise in summer.  

Homelands

Rose Kingdom

Crownsshire - just the most painfully English name I could think of.  “Crown” refers to, naturally, the crown of the Queen of Hearts.  Also decided to make the Rose Kingdom its own, smaller, more limited country, instead of allowing its apparent monarchy to leech off 20+ different countries Crowns - do you have any idea how genuinely shocking it is we don’t actually have a town here named this.

Afterglow Savannah

Baadaye - “afterglow” in Swahili.  The official and native name of the Afterglow Savannah.  Interestingly, my findings found translations of it meaning “future” as well, which I consider fitting. Kiburi - “pride” in Swahili, can refer to a ‘pride of lions’ or confidence (often overconfidence). Mwamba - “rock” in Swahili, alluding to the Pride Rock that Mufasa’s pride resides in. Maisha - “life” in Swahili. Jioni - “evening” in Swahili.  This refers to where anywhere the sun doesn’t reach, Simba shouldn’t wander, because it’s too dangerous. Originally, I wanted to go with “Kivuri”, which means “shadow”.  However when I went to double check that ‘shadowland’ was a thing in Lion King, referring to where the Elephant Graveyard is, it’s actually a song from the Broadway musica called “Shadowland”, sung by Nala (Heather Headley). It both mourns the desolate state of the Pridelands under Scar’s tyranny, and narrates Nala’s resolve to leave and find a way to save her people and their land.  The song is absolutely gorgeous, solemn, and powerful, and contributes more than any live-action CGI Disney movie could ever come up with.  Its instrumental composition features the melody lei-motif prominent in the animated film (yes, That song.  the heartbreaking one).  It’s one of my favourites in Lion King alongside “He Lives in You” and “Not One of Us” because I like the ones where the chorus goes off. Please just listen to the Lion King Broadway soundtrack it makes me cry with how gorgeous and heartfelt it is.   Anyway in their money-grubbing ways I hope Disney puts the Broadway on Disney+ so some brave soul takes one for the team to pirate it Manyoya - intended to mean “feather”, but to my understanding it also encompasses “fur”. Uzuri - “beauty” in Swahili.  Nothing too deep here, just something pertaining to Rook.

Land of Hot Sand

Aldif’ - “warmth” in Arabic (الدفء).  Meant to allude to a comforting warmth, kind of hinting that the popularisation of “Land of Hot Sand” more or less leaves the official name lost in translation. Misbah - “lamp/light” in Arabic (مصباح), naturally referencing the magical lamp sought after throughout the movie. Yatamanaa - “wish” in Arabic (يتمنى).  Meant to be bit a bit of a cheeky play on words.  The “wish” inside the “lamp”.

Land of Pyroxene

Waldburg - Wald is "forest” in German.   References the forest that Snow White runs away into after being warned of the Evil Queen’s intentions. Argent - “silver” in French.  References Cinderella’s silver dress. Verre - “glass” in French.  References Cinderella’s glass slipper. Miroir - “mirror” in French.  References both the Mirror of Snow White and the enchanted mirror Beast gives Belle. Enchantée - “enchanted” in French.  Ties into the theme of enchantments, curses, and charms prominent in French fairy tales, and specifically makes me think of the Enchanted Rose from Beauty and the Beast.   Scharlachrot - “scarlet” in German.  References the red colour that hides the infamous green of the poison apple’s true nature.

Isle of Lamentation

Nísos Thrínos - Greek for the isle’s name. Kapnós - “smoke” in Greek.  References Hades’ iconic appearance surrounded by black smoke.

Valley of Thorns

Geimhreadh - “winter” in Irish.  References the winter court of Unseelie fae in Celtic folklore.

Port of Jubilee

Nanm - "soul” in Haiitan Creole.  References the importance of determination and drive prominent in Princess and the Frog.

Sekrè - “secret” in Haitian Creole.  References Dr Facilier’s ulterior motives.

[infernal-fire]

five types of love.

what to expect: smut, swearing, friends w/ benefits arrangement, mention of Imposter syndrome, fluff, angst, heartbreak, overstimulation, implied creampie, rough sex

a/n: a little warning; you will be choosing your ending - there is a happy one and a sad one. a huge shoutout to @mollygetssherlockcoffee​ and @angrybirdcr​ for talking to me about the fic and offering such amazing advice! and @tuiccim​ was so damn lovely, even offered to beta this (though all mistakes are my own).

summary: you once heard that there were eight types of love. you only knew of five; the five that caused you to fall for one, blue-eyed menace.

Ludus: uncommitted, casual love that can attribute to a flirtatious and fun conquest. Not to be mistaken for Eros.

“I think we’re forgetting the reason why the mission failed in the first place. If the older fellow took a suggestion once in a-”

“-Tony, you know damn well that there were civilians in there.”

Steve and Tony glared at each other from across the briefing room. The tension in the room was exorbitant, but then again, it had been that way since Bucky joined the team. 

“This is exactly why we need the new girl. You super-soldiers and billionaires are getting tangled up in each others’ asses and forgetting about what it’s like for the normal people,” Rhodey sighed.

“The last thing we need is another trainee fucking up orders,” Tony snorted and began messing with his tech. The projector flipped through random screens, FRIDAY most likely filtering out the irrelevant news. 

“If you have a problem, maybe you should say it to his face,” Steve seethed, now standing up to match Tony’s stance. Usually, this type of jab at Bucky wouldn’t rile him up, but the super-soldier was at his wit’s end following the events of the latest mission.

Beside him, Bucky lightly tugged on his friend’s hand, signalling him to disengage.

“You’re with them?” Tony incredulously questioned Rhodey. 

“I’m with the idea of calming this room down.”

“Besides, she’s already been prepped for her first mission,” Natasha piped up. “We’re supposed to have a sit-down in 5 minutes... that is, if you boys can get your shit together.”

The room broke out into a chorus of muttering and everyone settled in their seats again. Captain strode to the front of the room and pulled up his game plan, fiddling with the map FRIDAY was projecting. 

You, on the other hand, could not decide how to act in front of the Avengers: Laidback? They wouldn’t take you seriously. Know-it-all? No, that was Stark’s play. Timid Tiffany? If you wanted to seem secretly conceited? Sure. That would work for now.

When Vision floated out to bring you in, you didn’t even flinch at the unforeseen phasing. Impressed at your lack of a reaction, Vision faltered before ever-so-courteously introducing himself. 

Could this sentient being laugh of his own volition? You gave him your name and dramatically curtsied to test your theory; he could laugh, and you were pleasantly surprised to find that it was not at all robotic. 

You felt the room intently eye you as you ambled to your seat beside one, blue-eyed menace. You half-expected the team to introduce themselves, but who were you kidding - anyone could hear the argument from three corridors away. There was no point in pretending like they wanted you here, but that wouldn’t deter you.

You glanced at your neighbour, met with the pleasant face of the one and only. James Buchanan Barnes was known to be a handsome devil, but the reputation of the Winter Soldier often precedes him; that, unfortunately, does not stop you from eyeing him. 

When he caught your stare, you scolded yourself. You’re such a creep. 

When he smirked at your ogling, you praised yourself. Oh, hello there. 

This is gonna be fun.

Eros: sexual, passionate love that is fueled by lust.

It didn’t happen after the first mission; he had the decency to wait until the fourth mission to knock on your door. 

You had been putting away the last of your belongings, finally adjusting to the grandiose living conditions the Avengers Tower provided.

As soon as you unlocked your knob, the door flung open; Bucky's stare was partially inhibited by his hooded eyes. He hadn’t always looked at you like that. 

Like what?

With unadulterated craving. 

That day, he strode in like he owned the place. You didn’t expect the shove that caused you to land on your bed with an oomph. Bucky wasted no time, climbing onto your form, straddling you. By the time you understood what was happening, a single finger was pressed into your lips.

“Either tell me you don’t want this right fucking now,” he leaned in, close to your face, “or shut the fuck up and let me use you.”

You whimpered in response.

“Not good enough.”

“Use me.”

That’s all the affirmation he needed. 

You pushed off the bed to try and meet his lips but he firmly pinned you down by your shoulders. Bucky reached into your panties and circled your clit without hesitation. It only took some swivelling, his intense gaze and the unexpected plunge of his fingers in your channel to make you see stars. Bucky had made you come before kissing you.

When he finally slotted his lips against yours, it was nothing short of all-consuming; you hadn’t even realized the absence of clothes on your body. Had it been ten minutes? Or thirty? It was hard to tell when you were being ravaged by another.

He made you come twice more: once with his fingers’ repeated dipping and pressing into the soft, spongy part of your cunt. The second time was with the talented sucking and flicking of his tongue. Technically, it was the third time.

None of your past partners had been this steadfast in their duty to pleasure you. You were already putty in his hands, ready to be moulded according to his needs. Part of you was ready to tap out, unable to fathom the likelihood of coming over his cock again, but the better half of you needed it.

In your orgasmic haze, you failed to notice that his clothes were being discarded - if you did, it would have given you the opportunity to gawk at the body that you so desperately wanted to see shirtless. When you finally registered his naked person, your hand involuntarily traced the connection between the metal arm and flesh. He threw his head back and groaned before kissing you again. 

He pulled off, just enough to get a good look. 

“Look at you, all fucked out. I didn’t even put my cock in.”

He pumped his shaft with fervour before pushing the blunt head against your slit. You winced at his attempt to put it in.

“Made you cum three times and you’re still too fucking tight,” he muttered and ran his length up and down your folds. Once he had accumulated enough slick he tried again, this time, successful.

You moaned as he slowly sunk in and buried his cock to its absolute limit. If the walls of your pussy had a voice, it would be absolutely hoarse. You also realized that he only bestowed the three orgasms in hopes of reprieving the pain of the stretch. Without the preparation, he might have torn you in half.

When he began moving, the only thing that was slow or soft about him was his lips against your skin. The thrusts were punishing; if it wasn’t obvious that he was angry before, this made it clear as day.

You screamed and moaned, alternating between keening and arching your back; the pleas did nothing to falter his furious pace. The smacking of your skin was only heightened by the slick that your cunt produced in attempts to accommodate his length. Every time he pulled out, his balls were connected to your sex with a string of come.

If someone told you that you could come five times within forty minutes, you would have face painted and dressed them up like a clown.

Now you laid in bed, being used like a rag doll, begging Bucky to stop you from coming a sixth time that session. It was usually the dirty talk that got you off, but he hadn’t said anything aside from the occasional ‘shut up’ or ‘shhh’. His movements alone had you convulsing around his length.

His thrusts didn’t get sloppy. Rather, they increased in force, as his cock sought space beyond your cervix. You tried to scream, but all that came out was more broken tears and cries. At last, he let out a pornographic moan as his load flooded your insides. Sure, you had let past boyfriends come in you, but you never actually felt the liquid shoot up inside you, until today.

Following the pop sound that his cock made as it pulled out, you whined again. You could feel your heartbeat throb down there. 

He flipped you onto your stomach and smacked your ass, laughing at the way you sobbed in pain before disappearing from your room altogether. 

He was gone as fast as he showed up. 

And he ruined everyone else for you.

In all fairness... you asked for it.

Philia: the deep, virtuous love that is formed in a good friendship. Lovers share a strong bond when Eros and Philia feed into each other.

What started as a release from the frustrations that accrue on the battlefield turned into a deep connection that neither of you had anticipated. Sex had only been used as a tool in the act of psychological detachment until that day. 

It was a failed date of some sort: either you had been stood up or the guy was a total moron. You could wrack your brain for the memory, but in any matter, it was all irrelevant now. 

You were upset, not just at your lack of a love life, but at the imposter syndrome that had weaselled its way into your liveliness. Feeling like you weren’t enough was catching up to your daily life and even Bucky had noticed the hesitation during your post-mission escapades. 

Before you knew it, your hand was knocking on Bucky’s door at the ripe hour of 1 AM. 

You heard the muffled thumps of his footsteps and considered booking it out of there, but before you made up your mind, the door opened.  As you had predicted, Bucky was wide-awake. 

“What?” 

You had wanted to sass him for his tone but decided against it since you were the one who interrupted his 1 AM activities. You shook your head from the clouds and mumbled incoherently, starting to walk away. The coldness of his metal arm abruptly gripped your wrist.

“Are you okay?”

You hated that question. You could be doing so good, holding in the burden of a horrible week, but the moment someone asks you that question, the dam would disintegrate into dust, only to be washed away by the inevitable waterworks. 

The sob you let out didn’t loosen his hold. He let you cry and watched as you tried to wipe away the unrelenting tears, still refusing to close the gap between your bodies. Finally, you shuffled into his arms where he bear-hugged you, cupping the back of your neck and holding it to the junction of his neck. 

"You smell nice,” you sniffled. 

He lightly chuckled before dragging you into his room and seating you on the bed. He ordered you to stay there and rummaged around his cupboard before pulling out a bottle with red liquid sloshing around. 

“You keep that in your room?” you snickered, wiping your nose with the back of your hand, before blanching at your state. Hell, he had seen you naked, how you look right now is the least of your concerns. 

“In case of emergencies,” he winked. “This seems like a real emergency.”

A fresh wave of tears pooled in your waterline as you peered at your hands that were picking at each other. 

“I don’t have wine glasses, so we can just chug.”

Bucky stuck out the bottle and you grasped it firmly before gulping one-fourth of it. That’s all the coaxing it took to get you to spill. 

You don’t even remember what you talked about, but before either of you realized, 3 AM blinked on the digital clock that hung above the bed frame. You were almost asleep, now resting on Bucky’s lap while he occasionally hummed or offered his two cents. Right before you drifted off, the super-soldier lifted you, placing you under a cover. He climbed in from the other side, one hand cupping your face, the other snaking around your waist.

“Thanks, Buck.”

“It’s gonna be okay. You’re okay,” he whispered.

Your eyes drooped but swiftly opened as Bucky leaned in, resting his forehead against yours. His lips barely touched yours, grazing their presence, but you moved, tenderly catching them. He returned the movement, the delicacy of his actions reflected in the softness of his eyes. 

You pulled away and the two of you wordlessly bore into each other’s eyes. At last, you succumbed to the fatigue, as did he; both of you resting in the others’ possession. 

Mania: an unhealthy, obsessive love that plagues the mind.

It was the third time Bucky didn’t show up at your door after a mission. Three missions, each of them ending in something that would have indubitably pissed him off - after all, they were HYDRA bases. That’s when you first suspected it.

The second was when you noted his intentional avoidance of your presence. Whether it be the kitchen, the gym or the hallways, the stealthy ex-assassin didn’t have trouble actively dodging you. Initially, you chalked it up to wanting space or simply taking a break.

Then you heard it.

Why was it that your gut told you to go right then? All this time you had been biding, yet it was at this precise moment that your hunch asked you to speak to him. It could’ve been the duration of the month that it took you to prepare yourself, but it had to be now. You raised your hand, prepping to knock on the door, but stopped.

Your hand froze mid-air. The elegant laugh of another girl sounded behind the door. It was faint, the noise slightly suppressed by the wall between you. 

It could be anyone. 

But it wasn’t. Your intuition, the one that told you to come here right now, was wise enough to know that this wasn’t just anyone. It was her. 

You cupped your mouth to stop the sob that threatened to liberate itself from the confines of your constricted airway. You fell forward, onto your knees, as if to pray to the gods to not let it happen. But it already did.  You let go of your mouth, gasping for air from holding your breath all this time. 

Shoulders sagged and spine bent, you stalked back to your room like a zombie. Face devoid of all emotion, you fell onto the corner of your bed and crumpled into a ball.  For twelve hours, you laid there. Sometimes sleeping, other times letting the tears leak out of the corners of your eyes. Memories of his fingers weaving through your own, the pleasures that chilled you to the bone. Most of all, the way you held his head to your chest as he whimpered about the nightmares that invaded his nights. It felt like those things happened to someone else. Nothing more than a distant memory.

Your heart clenched, tugging on the heartstring that you once thought was connected to him.

-

It was as if he knew you stood outside his door that day. There was an unspoken agreement to never speak of it. Yes, yes, don’t ever speak of it. The dam that you built so carefully will come crashing down.  He stopped avoiding you, but you wished he didn’t; it was crueller to be reminded, easier to pretend he didn’t exist. 

Be honest with yourself.

You didn’t pretend like he didn’t exist. 

In fact, the first thought after waking up? Bucky. Last thought before going to sleep? My Buck. Every time he wasn’t around? James Buchanan Barnes.

Please, don’t act like every waking moment isn’t spent loving him. Because deep down, you know what’s true.

He never did introduce the mystery girl to anyone at the Tower, but you knew his disappearance after missions could be credited to her. Did he take out his anger on her as he did to you? Or were you nothing more than a toy?

Guilt was one of the few emotions you could make out from the rare occasions you caught his stare. Longing was there too, but you couldn’t be sure that you weren’t projecting.  Months went by, waiting for thoughts of him to abandon your disturbed mind. The time never came.

As promised, he ruined anyone else for you. 

Pragma: the type of love that endures all shortcomings. Committed relationships that stay in love have an element of significant Pragma to them.

a happy ending.

That relationship may have ended but it didn’t mean he would come back to you.

He did come back. But he wasn’t yours.  Bucky made that clear when two more relationships ensued the last. Each time, the buffer period between them was filled by you. 

His back-up plan. That’s what you had been reduced to. 

After the third time he brought a new girl, you’d think you would be used to it, maybe even uncaring. Unfortunately, the opposite would always prevail.

Steve caught your fist and tutted, commenting on the bad form. You stopped, shook your shoulders and began hopping on the balls of your feet again.  Jab, jab. Swing.  At first, you’d imagine the faces of those girls. Nowadays, it was easier to envision the pads Steve held as his best friend’s face. 

“Bucky’s girl broke up with him.”

“Oh,” you made out, focus slightly wavering. 

“You know what happened?”

“Are you asking me ‘cause you wanna know or because you already know?”

“I already know,” he sighed, lowering the hand pads. 

He exhaled your name, shaking his and rubbing the bridge of his nose. “When are you two gonna stop playing around?”

“I really don’t understand, Steve.”

“You know why she broke up with him?” You blinked, tongue poking the inside of your cheek in anticipation of an answer. 

“He moaned your name during sex.” 

“God, that’s so corny,” you huffed, now beginning to make your way out of the boxing ring. 

“So what, you’re gonna do nothing? Keep letting him use you?” Steve jogged to catch up to you.

“No,” you faced him, “I’m not letting him use me as a fallback anymore. I’m putting an end to it.” 

Steve pursed his lips and shot you and exasperated look before shaking his head.  “Don’t let something good go to waste.”

It used to be something good.

You wondered if you could hold up the promise you had just declared to Steve; in the past, you failed every time he showed up at your door. Bucky knew exactly how to play into your emotions, how to say the right things every time. And just like that, the next morning you’d end up in his arms. That stops today.

Determined, you practically punched the button to go up on the elevator and impatiently tapped your foot. As the doors slid closed, you took one look at yourself and turned away, fighting the urge to fix your appearance for him. The doors opened again and you check the floor number, ready to step out, but stopped at the sound of your name.  His ex. You almost ran off, unwilling to put up with an angry ex, but she called on you again. You sheepishly stood there, as if you were the one who did something wrong, until she stepped in and pressed the button to go to the lobby.

The silence stretched on, much like your patience. Does she even know who you are?

“We were both fooling ourselves.”

You turn to check if she was speaking to you. Her stare was unwavering and she maintained eye contact that almost made you squirm.

“We both love different people.” She smiled, an obvious melancholy tainting her face. You stood there, absolutely clueless as to how you should respond.

“It’s too late for me, but it’s not for the two of you. Just... don’t let him go. He’s one of the good ones.”

You turned again, now looking down at the ground. Even if she expected you to say something back, it was impossible, at this point. Your mind was in shambles, everything she said contradicting the choice you made five minutes ago. 

After what seemed like an eternity, the doors opened and she stepped out. She turned one last time and nodded as if you knew what to do now. 

Bucky’s door was unlocked. You called out his name, barely above a whisper and sauntered with hesitation lining your every step.  Nothing. Empty. He wasn’t there. 

It was a sign. You almost ignored the advice his ex gave, ready to walk into his room and end things. Your shoulder slumped as if your bore the weight of the world on them as you slunk back to your room. Now it would take another outburst or another month to prepare yourself to talk to him again.

As the days went by, you barely saw him around. It reminded you of the times he intentionally ignored you, except this time, you weren’t sure it was intentional. When you did see him, it was clear that he wasn’t doing good; his beard was unkept and scraggly, the bags under his eyes heavier than any trauma he carried. You pretended as though you didn’t notice and went about your routine. 

1 AM

A knock sounded at your door. You knew who it was, how could you not, but hoped it wasn’t him anyway. The encounter would most likely end with tears or sex and you didn’t favour either outcome. 

You waited a minute. Maybe he would leave if he assumed you were asleep. The knock sounded again.

You cracked the door open.  Whatever you were expecting, surely, it wasn’t this. Eyes red and puffy, it was clear he had been crying and most definitely not sleeping. 

He held up a wine bottle, and chuckled pathetically at himself. 

“Maybe this is bad idea,” he sniffled and wiped his nose with the sleeve of his left arm. 

It didn’t feel right to say anything. Rather, you opened the door wider and beckoned for him to step in.

“Emergency?” you asked with a little smile. God, you were so close to crying and he hasn’t even said anything.

“Oh yeah. Big emergency.”

He sat on your bed and felt the sheets, trying to remember the feeling of it on his knees. The days he would buck into you while you clutched them like a vice. The soldier pursed his lips and watched as you settled beside him.

“You don’t have to talk... if you don’t want to,” you said. Your voice cracked and you almost smacked yourself for being so weak around him. 

“But I do. I should talk. I have so much to say... Can I explain?” He turned to face you, reaching out for your hands, holding them in his own. You didn’t say anything, opting to return his request with a pleading look in your eyes. He knew what the look meant: just don’t break my heart. Again. He took a deep breath in acknowledgement, trying to form the words that would help you understand. 

“I can’t believe I hurt you. I swear, I didn’t know I was doing it, at first.” You mustered your best unbelieving look, almost scoffing for good measure. “No, really,” he hastily added. 

A few tears streamed down your face and you frantically tried to wipe them. Bucky took one look at you before he began breaking down, tears slipping down his face.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to cry... I just- I don’t understand? I thought things were good?” you questioned. You had given up on trying to wipe your tears, as did he.

“I wasn’t supposed to fall for you. And by the time I realized, we were so far in. Then I found a distraction... and I really thought I was over you,” he paused, wondering if he should continue or not. You showed no sign of speaking up, so he went on.

“I didn’t think you cared. I didn’t think you felt the same way. I was so convinced that you wouldn’t blink twice but then... but, I-... I heard you at the door that day. I wanted to kick her out and hold you, but I-...”

“But you what? You what, Bucky?”

“I thought it was too late for us. I thought I ruined everything.”

“Then why are you here now?”

“Don’t be mad,” he murmured, retracting his hands and fiddling with his fingers.

“I don’t think anyone can ever replace what we had. Maybe... still have? Because you’re it for me. I’m sorry it took me this long to realize that. I was on the brink of losing myself.” He looked up at you, eyes brimming with a new wave of tears. He mumbled your name weakly, croaking out a please at the end.

You curled in on yourself and fell into his arms, hoping that was enough of a answer.

“I can’t promise you that everything will be back to normal by tomorrow morning... but with some time, I can learn to trust you again.”

Above you, Bucky hurriedly nodded. At the state he’s in right now, you suspected that you could ask him to sell his soul and he would agree.

“And if you ever break my heart again-,” 

“-I would die before that happens,” he finished for you, kissing the top of your head for good measure.

“I love you,” you whimpered, “so fucking much.” 

“I love you too. I really love you too,” he affirmed and encased you with his arms again.

Though there had been some rough patches on the road to happiness, with Bucky by your side, you felt as though you could make it through anything; for that, is the power of pragmatic love.

an unfortunate ending.

The tears that would’ve been shed during the ceremony have dried on your pillowcase about five hours ago. Now, you sat beside the team, waiting for her to walk down the aisle. 

Bucky looked nervous, as if he were reconsidering his life decisions. The little devil on your shoulder was holding onto every little thing he did: the wrinkle of his forehead, his repeated tugging on the suit and his flustered glancing around. Oh lord, and when he accidentally locked eyes with you? You may have bitten your lip and looked away in contempt but the shoulder-devil was as persistent as ever.

He secretly still wants you.

Shut up.

He wants to call it off.

Get a life.

At last, the lucky girl stood at the end of the winding path and you couldn’t help but sneak a look at the groom. His tension and nervousness crumbled at the sight of her; it was difficult not to feel happy that he had found the one that made him feel this way. 

It may have been him for you, but that notion was long forgotten, a nuisance of memory at most. Your love for him, regardless of the storms it has endured, is no longer respected or wanted by either party.

If he loves her, why does he come to you when things get bad?

You shook your head at that, having no answer for the nature of his secret infidelity. It was nothing more than taking out his frustrations on you - much like the old days.

Your reminiscing was cut short when a voice asked everyone to rise for the bride. You stood and straightened out your outfit, flicking off the little white petal that clung to your maroon dress. A hand grasped your own, and you turned to see Steve smile reassuringly. You squeeze his hand in appreciation and turned your attention to the white-clad figure walking down the aisle.

And that’s all you remember. You wish you could recall the rest of the wedding. You really do. Too preoccupied with what was going to happen after the event, you disassociated from the ordeal altogether. No matter how hard you grilled yourself, nothing would come to mind - dissociative amnesia only occurs as a protective coping mechanism during traumatic events; was that what Bucky’s wedding was to you?

What type of question is that?

For once, you agreed with the little red beast that sat on your shoulder. Long ago, the first time you saw someone else Bucky’s arms, the devil pierced the pitchfork right through the angel’s heart. These days, it was all you could think of. 

After the bride and groom exchanged ‘I do’s’, you willed yourself to stay a while longer. Your only companion, Steve, slow danced with you in silence, knowing that whatever he says would be of no consolation. Bucky did have half a mind to ask you for a dance, but he saw you leave. You didn’t think anyone did. He waited for you to turn and look at him one last time, but you never did. It’s okay, he thought. I didn’t deserve her anyway.

No one saw you after that.

On your bed, Steve found a single note that didn’t explain anything more than what he already knew. If anything, it simply affirmed that you were gone for good. Your things packed up, no trace of a person ever having lived there. Even if he pulled some strings, it would take years to find you again. 

After all, you had already been lost for quite some time.

hey folks. i know this seems a little desperate-sounding but i would really appreciate reblogs and would absolutely love to hear your thoughts on the story. what was you favourite part? which part made you feel some way? i really love knowing these things. love each and every single one of you.

Masterlist

Shoot me a message or fill out the form in my bio to be added to my tag list!