#Team Trixany

[trixcuomo]

Around to the middle and back again... 100% pure WTF

Meanwhile, hanging out at Trixany's Suramar apartment.. (This time, NPC free!)

Sharpen: So, Trix. You're a Horde B-celebrity. Like Haris, who is an A-celebrity.

Trixany: Ouch, but yes.

Sharpen: She goes, 'That's hot--'

Trixany: No, she changed it to Molten Core, cause this is Warcraft. 'That's so MC.' She might change it to 'That's so Fyrakk' soon, but you didn't hear that trending from me.

Trixany: Or, wait. Yes you SO did, cause that's my job.

Sharpen: Riiight. And what's your catchphrase again?

Trixany: I go, 'Yowza.'

Sharpen: Yowza?

Trixany: Yowzaaaa. *cocky grin*

Coco: Always thought that was dumb.

Sharpen: But if you're a Horde B celebrity, and this is Warcraft, as you say... then shouldn't it be 'Wowza?'

Trixany: ...

Coco: HAHA! You never saw that?

Trixany: SHUT UP SHARPEN.

Coco: She never even saw it??

Sharpen: No, apparently she didn't.

Trixany: I didn't need to see it, it's not a-- asdfyrfyhuijjKkkolllzxv!!

Sharpen: What?

Coco: She literally just face-rolled across the keyboard. That's how mad my sista is right now.

Sharpen: Nice. Nostalgic. Very throwback to vanilla WOW, even. But that savvy trendsetter instinct won't help her this time.

Trixany: *angrily smashes empty arcwine crates and other like assets*

[konietzko-sylvoran]

Hanging by a Winter’s Veil Moment

With a hint of confusion, but he was drawn to the candle with the envelope waiting for him. His eyes widen with surprise and he gathers it up scanning the writing on it. He smiles fondly and with a small kiss on the envelope and would turn it over to inspect and then open to see what was written inside.  Within the envelope was a little bit of thick cardstock colored red, tiny specks of silver wintery glitter fell from within it as the note was removed. The mage would grin as he reveals the glittered note and his eyes glimmer at the idea that it could be....snow!  Written in Kon’s handwriting was a little note written in black ink across the top. Life with you my Kal has always been an adventure I thought you deserved a bit of treasure. Collect these gifts as you find each clue  but don’t let your curiosity get the better of you. Reading the message, his smirk reflects an appreciation for his first words. Below, in the center of the red cardstock written in green ink was a riddle! Our first Winter’s Veil has begun It's time now to have some fun So, go to the place That reflects your face And there you'll find clue number one.

He blinks a few times reading over the other. Collect...? he gives a slow look around. "I'll do my best.." he mutters to himself and grins widely this time.  "A riddle! Well!" He shakes the note just a touch to have a few more sparkles dust here and there just a bit, grinning all the way.

One by one, clue after clue gifts were starting to pile up each uniquely wrapped with hints that were associated with each riddle as he unraveled them! The boxes floated behind the magi till he finally made his way to his final clue!  My Kal, your search is almost at its end so do me this one favor. After you read this final clue, take these gifts and leave them on the table together before you come find this final treasure I hope to help you savor. Below the note in the center written in green ink was yet again a riddle! Before we allow this to further extend Your hunt is finally at its end Come to the place where we like to howl Coffee awaits along with your favorite owl Guaranteed to be your favorite blend

Inside the Howling Owl was the leftover Winter’s Veil décor from their gathering that had been asked to be left up even after cleanup. Upon entering here Talthorn looked around with shimmering eyes. Lovely memories of the times spent here already were flooding his mind and especially that of their recent social. A gentle sigh escaped his lips in happiness and he noticed, still! No Konietzko to greet him. "Are you here, my heart?" On one lone table below sat one lone mug of still steaming coffee. Upon closer inspection the coffee was not only Talthorn’s favorite but someone had gotten a little fancy and made some latte art for him of a cute little owl on a bit of mistletoe with a santa hat on its head! Next to the coffee mug was a familiar cardstock this time not in an envelope but on it was written in that green ink yet again, ‘Listen Closely.’ Slipping into the seat he knew this had to be for him! He looked around and tried to listen for anything. 

From upstairs the sound of a guitar strumming lightly was heard, a soft tune being carried and slowly getting louder as it was strummed over and over. Hearing the music coming from upstairs, Talthorn gathered his coffee and began to make his way up listening with great interest as he took a slow sip. He started to suspect that Kon had set up their own little dance area! Upstairs in the club itself, the dance floor was uniquely lit, only a particular few lights were turned on all about mid height up and against one back wall. It offered a very unique lighting for the figure who sat in the middle of the floor upon a single stool. A microphone stand stood before him raised up high enough to reach his lips. In his lap came the source of the strumming sound that played over the speakers that filled the room of the night club. There sat Konietzko wearing a very cozy but nice warm shirt and linen pants. One boot was up on the stool, legs the other on one of the cross bars along it so he could keep ahold of the black guitar in his lap better as he played. Seeing Kon had taken center stage as it were, Talthorn’s mouth fell open as he searched over him. Oh, by the heavens and stars. He could already feel a fluster creep over his face as it lit up in the sight of the man who held his heart.

At last it was time to unveil at least one of his secrets in this moment, as the very song that Lady Bella had been teaching him to play on the guitar was now played and sung. His deep bass voice well trained to hold a tune when he tried added to the sound of the guitar along with the pure emotion he felt as he sang with it. This private show was one that he’d been looking forward too from the days before he’d asked to take lessons and now he finally could see the look on his dear kal’s face as he let him alone be the first to see him perform. At some point near the end of his song, he plucked a high note to carry the sound as he held it a moment. And in that last final moment he tapped his toe against a trigger as a burst of wintery glitter snowed down on them both while he sang his heart out with the final chorus. 

As he let the music fade with his final note, Talthorne shoved the coffee to the table so he could run over, covered in sparkle. It took a moment for him to blink and envelop Kon in a strong and loving hug!! His laughter rolling through the room. With a sudden, 'Oof!' Kon found himself sitting right back down and then laughing himself. He wrapped his arms tight around Talthorn covered in snowy sparkles and all as he pressed his head against the side of his. "Happy winter's Veil my kal." He said in a very endearing voice as he would turn his head »

Filled with such emotion as they embraced, Talthorn tried his best to thank and describe the way he felt in that moment but before long Konietzko admitted that this was not all he had planned. In shock that there was more a familiar voice was soon to be heard as she made her way down the stairs from above. 

Trixany herself dressed in full performance attire announced she was the next part of his gift to Talthorn as she approached them both with her Team Trixany band following behind her. Mister Mistletoe, Winter Queen and Mister Grinch were each introduced to them as they were asked to be seated for a delightful show of something naughty and nice!

Leaving both the elves in awe full of flushed faces from laughter, they bid Team Trixany farewell as the couple made their way home. It was time at last to open those gifts left behind and to sate Talthorn’s curiosity to see what lay inside them. While Talthorn seemed to enjoy each gift that matched the theme of every riddle given, it was to Kon’s joy that they saved the most silly of gifts for last as he got to see how happy Talthorn was with his new silly hat and magical wand set he fully hoped he might use one day with his storytelling. 

Taking the magical wand outside to the balcony where their new cuddle chair made of wood sat, soon the property of the Howling Owl was lit up with a small private firework display as stars of red gold and blue lit up the sky as they stood side by side enjoying their grand finale of their first winter’s veil night. "Now wave your wand about and conduct your magic!" Kon said with a fun chuckle. Beaming bright, Talthorn took on a conductor’s pose letting the sparklers dance. "With this spell! I call upon Winter's Veil's magic!" he would gasp as the show of fireworks begins to light up their sky! Both elves laughed loudly as a tiny mini display of fireworks suddenly exploded into the sky lighting it with their very own show of stars! Just one more memory to light their eyes with and share together! It was perfect. "And what beautiful magic it is...." Talthorn said with awe in this moment. "And the fireworks are sensational as well." Talthorn hugged tight at his beau. "I really have the most cherished gift right here in my arms..."  "Well next year, I'll see that I put a bow on my head and call it good." Kon winked and loosed a warm chuckle with arms wrapped tight around the other in return. 

(( A reflection of Day 1 with Kon x @talthorn-sylvoran​ first winter’s veil spent together. A rp tale that deserved to be told as yet another story highlight on Kon’s blog. A special thank you to @trixcuomo​ for the amazing well written private show that we still are chuckling about to this day and to @belillinafireseeker​ for the time spent with Kon helping lead up to this moment!))

[sharpen-jadescythe]

It gets worse

Trixany: *walks up, taps the giant Night Elf man on the shoulder again* HEY! You walked away but I wasn't finished.

Sharpen: Nice. Most people these days just follow me on Tik Tok. Grats, Trixany.

Trixany: Did I hear right? Are you teaming up with an exclusive luxury brand to sell iconic pet items out of your cat cafe? I thought that cat shop was for charity!

Sharpen: It's a cafe, not a shop. It is a relaxing space for busy people to enjoy nature, and hopefully give a sweet cat a good home.

Trixany: *seethes*

Sharpen: Would you like a cat--

Trixany: NO I WOULD NOT.

Sharpen: Would you like a luxury brand to endorse you?

Trixany: After a decade of hard work on my end, yes that would be nice--

Sharpen: Well, too bad! I have one and you don't!! *resumes tapping his comm screen*

Trixany: Are you posting online about this conversation we're having, right now?

Sharpen: With that hairdo? More like shitposting.

Trixany: That's it! If you don't start acting like your normal, sweet himbo self, Sharpen, I am going to make a premade group in Group Finder to beat your ass!

Sharpen: Is this what our friendship has come to? Are you really threatening to violate the game TOS to get back at me, and in front of my Sharpies fanbase?

Trixany: Huh? That's not what I meant--

System message: 'Trixany' is no longer playing.

System message: Trixany has gone offline.

Sharpen: Wow, Sharpies. That crowdsurfed perma-ban was ice cold.

[pooktales]

The ‘How I Met Your Mother’ of Blood Knight fanfics continues...

More updates to “The Embarrassing Story of How I Became a Blood Knight”!

Chapter 19: His girlfriend is really cute too

After Sunthraze and Pyorin set their plan in motion to lure Prince Kael’thas Sunstrider back home from Dalaran, Farstrider B. Artanyan Britecleff gets right in the middle, landing our so-called Sunthraze the Sly in a double-date at a chic Silvermoon City locale with two pretty fellow... conspirators?

Chapter 20: Singing Tempest

After dinner, Sunthraze and Tempest (Trixany)* wander off together through romantic, starlit Silvermoon City. These two have needed this brutally honest moment for a long time...

*If you follow Team Trixany, “Tempest” is an old nickname I also have for this muse. Enjoy reading about Trixany’s long-lost past with young Sunthraze.

Or, read it from the beginning!

[trixcuomo]

That's right, Team Trixany! @nixalegos has an eight pack, you heard it here first!

Obviously @tyleinth's overhaul of Nix's workout routine has clearly shown results. Legionterror, one handed? With no counterweight? That can't be all vambrace gauntlet and pneumatics.

[trixcuomo]

🎵 PvME: A Trixany Concert 🎭

Coming Saturday, March 30 at 6pm WrA/PST! Location TBD

There are many beloved and hilarious Trixany songs, but a choice few in the vault are SO feral that they need their own stage! Join Trixany (and her alts) as we explore the life and times of the parody artist formerly -and currently- known as Trixany Cuomo!

Featuring all-new parodies and a few classics!!

To be followed by an afterparty & sing-a-long!

Get ready, TEAM TRIXANY 💪

[trixcuomo]

Kaldorei Dreams Ken

Sharpen: Here we go, Trixany! Skating to the end of the pier, just like in the Barbie movie! Here we goooo...

Trixany: What's the point of getting so excited about a ship that taxis between two Goblin ports with names that make me think I'm either gonna catch something or get robbed?

Sharpen: But Azeroth has its own magic! You never know what cool people we'll meet on the boat from Booty Bay to Rachet. Beeee positive!

Trixany: Shut it, Night Elf Ken. *clomps awkwardly onto the boat in her bright rollerblades* What’s gotten into you, anyway? Did the dev team slip you some gold or something after the last episode?

Sharpen: I'm excited now because I realized my outfit is so bright, Elune can finally see ME! Hi moon goddess!!! *waves at the sky*

[trixcuomo]

The devs join the battle!

Meanwhile, Trixany is still depressed she can't skate to Barbieland from Azeroth... Who can save her?

Trixany: Yay. Now we're off the boat and skating down the really short pier in Rachet. How fun. Guess we go right back around to return to--

Sharpen: Elune glitter!! *blue sparkles fill the screen*

Trixany: Ow! It's everywhere--Sharpen, I can't see, you moron!!

Sharpen: *sings* The dev team can show you the Warcraft world. Shining, shimmering, splendid. Tell me Trixy, now when did you last let your hearthstone decide?

Trixany: Huh?

Sharpen: The dev team can open your eyes...

Trixany: Ack! We're way up here? Are we riding on the shoulders of that Ogre that patrols the Barrens? Oh, you're aaall the way down there riding on the little Goblin vendor the Ogre escorts. Pfft! Actually, you look hilarious.

Sharpen: The dev team can fill you wonder by wonder *sings louder*

Trixany: Oh cool! Now we're on a war kodo charging to the Crossroads, shooting this crazy Orc machine gun!

Sharpen: Design taxi transports that go over, sideways and under... *he has a nice baritone actually*

Trixany: Wooo! Now we're a'charging through Ashenvale on a bigger war kodo, mowing down Alliance and Night Elves. Err, sorry Sharpen.

Sharpen: I'm being paid to sing, I'm fine...

Trixany: And he even stayed with the melody there. Nice.

Sharpen: Azeroth is a whole new woooorld!

Malfurion: Trixany, don't you dare close your eyes!!

Trixany: Where is Malfurion inside this racing deer? Are we riding on the back of Malfurion Stormrage through Darkshore?!!

Sharpen: WOW devs give you a new, fantastic point of view!

Trixany: Oh sweet!! Now we're riding on the back of Illidan--

Forsaken driver: *sings in gravelly voice, with rotted jaw* Actually, it's an Undercity plaguebat, but it gets better.

Trixany: Waaaaaa!

Sharpen: No one to tell us NO. Or where to go, or say we're Emerald Dreaming.

Trixany: *harmonizes* A whole new woooorld! The devs made an exciting place we never knew.

Sharpen: Holy crap! Now we're on a Horde zeppelin!! I always wanted to ride one of these giant things, with the Britney foghorn and all-- And look, Icecrown is just ahead! HII ARTHAS! *happy, magical music crescendoes*

Trixany: Wait, don't wave to him. He's a homicidal maniac!

Sharpen: That depends on your personal fan interpretation of the Culling of Stratholme-- *happy music rages on*

Trixany and Sharpen: Because waaay up here, Azeroth is crystal clear! And now I'll share this World of Warcraft with you.

Trixany: A Horde new world. (Because I'm Horde.)

Sharpen: It's the Alliance for meeee... A whole new place--

Trixany: A fine game-designed space--

Alexstrasza: For you and meeeeee! Hold on tight, mortals. Next stop, the Dragon Isles!!

Sharpen: Oh shit, it's Alexstrasza!!?!?

Trixany: She isn't Barbie, but the Dragon queen and the Dragon Isles are close enough for me! Yaaaay! *they fly off into the sunset*

[trixcuomo]

Ads help us improve this OC blog!

[trixcuomo]

Who? Married? Gul'dan?

(Part two, folie à deux!)

Meanwhile, after a savage gang fight on the Team Trixany LIVE talk show...

Teren'gor: Yeah. Right. "Brainwashed."

Garona: WHATDIDYOUSAYABOUTME??

Teren'gor: That's her excuse for everything, man.

Trixany: So, last year, I asked Team Trixany who they think married Gul'dan. And it came down to two options. The Stormreaver Clan polycule, or...

Drak'thul: *loud yelling* I know! All Garona does is get mind controlled and lie. It makes me so mad. And that's why you just got dragged, Garona!!!

Trixany: Um, guys...

Garona: Me? Dragged? Then why are you the one missing some teeth? Imagine being a powerful warlock but even your demons jumped in when I curb stomped you on the stairs. What! Bring it!

Trixany: Guys, shut up! We're here for a reason. This fakest Orc clan of all time does not need to collapse after every flashback clip on the big screen. Okay??

Garona: Sorry, I just. *flips up her leather jacket collar* I hate the part where I assassinated King Llane Wrynn. It was like I was out of my head at the time--

Drek'thul: There she goes again! I told you!!

Trixany: We are here to find out who is telling the truth about being married to Gul'dan. Well, alt-universe Gul'dan wore a ring, on his wedding finger--in that one Legion cinematic.

Garona: Wedding finger is not a word.

Trixany: Your mind control tell you that? To make you look smart??

Cho'gall: Dude! Is that what this is? (Hrm, I do believe she is onto something. Who married Gul'dan? Was it indeed one of us?)

Teren'gor: I am too ambitious for control over the Stormreaver Clan to ever marry down like that.

Drak'thul: No you're not.

Teren'gor: Time to die, old man. *force chokes him*

Drak'thul: Lame-ass death knight... you're pulling on second-gen, WotLK DK spells to best me? Ha! Argh...

Trixany: No choking! I am now going to reveal the results of the lie detector test!!

Garona: ...

Teren'gor: ...

Cho'gall: ... (...)

Drak'thul: ...

Trixany: Garona... you are.

Garona: *sweats*

Trixany: Not the wife.

Garona: Phew! Anyway, of course not. He like raised me, that would be gross.

Trixany: Drak'thul! You are...

Drak'thul: *spits out one more tooth*

Trixany: Ew. Obviously not the husband.

Drak'thul: Thanks. I guess. Though, maybe it is Teren'gor after all! Hahaha--ack! Arghhh...

Trixany: Teren'gor! You are...

Teren'gor: *too busy force choking Drak'thul*

Trixany: Not the husband. What the heck?

Cho'gall: As if Gul'dan would get with a man wearing a human's body. (*his other head hairflips*)

Trixany: Was it you, Cho'gall?? *checks her oversized, standard size paternity test cue cards*

Cho'gall: No. (Never)

Trixany: Cho'gall is not the husband--or husbands, either. So then? That leaves...

LOUD MENACING PIANO MUSIC PLAYS 🎶

Garona: Roman Reigns??

Trixany: Wrong universe, same energy.

Kil'jaeden: ACKNOWLEDGE ME, AZEROTH

[trixcuomo]

Who? Married? Gul'dan?

(Part one)

Meanwhile on the Team Trixany LIVE talk show set...

Trixany: Everyone! Please welcome to the show... the Stormreaver Clan!

Audience: *disturbed, no applause*

Trixany: *finishes slow-clapping by herself* Um. Well? I guess people are still mad about all the bad stuff the Legion did. Hit the theme music!

WE REAP, STEAL, CHEAT, THE DEMONS WE ARE MEAN 🎶 🎵

Trixany: *rubs the bridge of her nose* Gods, I had to resurrect my junk gossip show to finally lure them out of hiding. Ugh.

Stormreaver clan: *struts out to rock music, each flexing or posing in a unique way*

Garona: I know I'm not supposed to be here anymore, but I couldn't resist our old aesthetic and themesong. *slips dark shades on* I also may be on some great mind control stuff right now.

Drak'thul: Man, me too! I've been secretly waiting for the old Stormreaver gang to get back together. We got matching ripped purple tabards and everything! Yes!

Teren'gor: Though I'm supposed to be dead. Or, super dead.

Cho'gall: Hell yeah, brothers! WOO!! (Anything to finally get our side of the sordid tale out there, after all these miserable years!)

Trixany: *gasps* Cho'gall??!! But you're the Twilight Hammer chieftan?

Cho'gall: Yes, the rumors bear truth. I did turn on the Stormreavers later after building them up as a stable--but it was only for pissant ratings. *pounds his chest* (So proud of my OG homies, for realz!)

Trixany: Um... I think your other head just said the quiet part out loud.

[trixcuomo]

The Trixany Cuomo Holiday Special

Coco: Hrm, I shoulda taken up alchemy soona! Who knew poisoned lipstick would be such a viable option in a boss fight?

Trixany: It's wild, right? But at least we're getting our holiday shopping done...

Coco: No! Denathrius, we are not going to Torghast H&M again. We're headed ova to Suramar. The vineyard is havin' a sale. That's the next portal to tha right.

Trixany: Geez, why is everyone acting so strange? They've never seen a big, evil guy under mind-control poison before?

Coco: Probably because we're Horde and this is also the Stormwind portal room. Whoopsie, everyone! We're not attacking with a world boss we kited from the Shadowlands, we just accidentally stepped through tha wrong portal is all!!

Denathrius: *eyes glazed over* Where is Remornia? I so hate dealing with these Alliance peasants.

Coco: *pats his arm* So do I, bud. But if you go and buy us more things on your Broker Platinum card, you'll feel a lot betta.

Trixany: Ugh, look. There goes someone running for the Stormwind Guard. Tch! I swear, these people. Has no one ever seen mind control poison before? Rogues do it all the time, right?

Vanessa Vancleef: *strolls over with Matthias Shaw, burdened with shopping bags* Hello, ladies! Haha, I see that you captured a holiday sugar daddy of your own. Very nice. Just don't let the Stormwind Guard see you--

Shaw: *groggy* When this mind control poison wears off... Flynn is so... gonna kill... you.

Vanessa: Aww! Look at the poisoned baby trying to talk and intimidate me.

Trixany: How cute! We should take our mind-controlled guys on a playdate later, make 'em wrestle!

Vanessa: Oh my, that would be divine--

Stormwind Guard: HALT!!

Vanessa: Cheese it!!! *dives through a portal to Azsuna*

Coco: Run, sis! *pulls Trixany through a portal to Pandaria*

Trixany: Aw crap!! I think Denny's mind control just wore off--

Denathrius: CRAWL TO ME ON YOUR KNEES! WHERE IS YOUR SHAMEFUL WEAKAURA NOW??

Later, in a polite tea house in Pandaria...

Trixany: Oh well, at least we stumbled over something that's trending?

Coco: *sips her tea*

Trixany: Uh, call it... Mind-controlled raid boss shopping?

Coco: Shaw's not a raid boss.

Trixany: How did Vanessa VanCleef even get Shaw that way? She kissed him?

Coco: Sure, poisoned lipstick. Same way we did with Denathrius. Just get the guy unda some mistletoe, then bam! Mistletoe this time a year is potent. It doesn't care who ya are.

Trixany: *nibbles a tea biscuit* Gotta love mistletoe. You know? This is a really good holiday memory for us, sis. We crashed a Castle Nathria holiday party, then we went interdimensional shopping in Tazavesh, and accidentally raided Stormwind in the most embarrassing manner possible for the city guard... Oh! And we met that murderous psychotic, Vanessa VanCleef. Loved her outfit.

Coco: Oh yeah, she could slay. Even when it ain't the holidays.

Trixany: I feel so warm and cozy inside.

Coco: It sure was great! Daaw! Happy holidays, Trix.

Trixany: *looks at the camera instead, poses* Happy holidays, Team Trixany!

Coco: Hey, jerk. I'm ova hea--

*holiday special music outtro blares, credits roll by super fast*

[trixcuomo]

It ain't easy in the fourth wall department

Meanwhile, back at Haris Pilton Entertainment Corp in Shatthrath City...

Haris: That legionGPT commercial you just presented was horrible.

Trixany: But it highlighted the product so well! Of course we're not advocating for anyone to actually join the now-defunct Burning Legion. It was supposed to be ironic, and appeal to the aging hipster demographic of Azeroth's war veterans--

Haris: NO.

Trixany: Ugh, fine.

Haris: Onto your other assignment. How is catering to the needs of the dwarven royal family going? What'shisname.

Trixany: The Bronzebeards? Well um. I'm not so sure about these guys. Moira is pretty demanding and Magni has some kind of guilt thing going on. He is eager to spend a treasury of riches on anything she wants, however wacky.

Haris: So? That's to our advantage--

Trixany: This time, they want an animated show.

Haris: And? We can easily get one of our teams on that--

Trixany: They have clearly stated they want to rip off an existing show about a certain cartoon family that's been popular for decades.

Haris: Hold on. You don't mean...

Trixany: And their personalities slot in *slowblink* eerily well.

Next! On Desperate Alt's Lives!!

Homer: Oh, that Trixany. Always saying the tumblr things.

Marge: HrmmmmmMmmmM?!

[trixcuomo]

We've started a few celebrity gossip rumors here on Team Trixany so far. I think it's pretty fun...

Cody Rhodes clearly named his signature move after the Crossroads in the Barrens.

Illidan is a huge fan of Scar from The Lion King and based his entire Burning Crusade-era aesthetic off of him.

Uh oh! What will we think of next, here on.... TEAM TRIXANY??

*TMZ-esque pop theme music plays*

[trixcuomo]

Of course we have a Happy Canada Day song here on Team Trixany!

[trixcuomo]

A Gul'dan title or smth idc

Haris: *turns around at her desk, arches her fingers* So, then. We're in search of an orc A-celebrity wife? You know, this will be more difficult because it's alt-timeline Draenor we're dealing with.

Trixany: And?

Haris: Alt-timeline Draenor means alt-timeline Gul'dan. He is the one who is married, not our Gul'dan. We don't know enough about all the orcs, the hundreds of thousands of orcs, and draenei, that survived on that world. Since, you know, our armies interfered over there.

Trixany: I see. Um, too many unknowns?

Haris: Precisely. Their Legion invaded our world at the Broken Shore, but before that, we invaded them and irrevocably changed their timeline. *shrugs* Any number of individuals we've never heard of or met could be famous or famous-adjacent enough to marry Gul'dan.

Trixany: Famous-adjacent. Is that trending? Hrm, I kinda like that phrase. Maybe, as a Horde B-celebrity, I'm famous-adjacent. *smirks*

Haris: No, Trixany. Just... no.

Trixany: Fine! So how do we get started tracking down the so-called famous rich idiot who married alt-timeline Gul'dan?

Haris: *hunches deeper behind her arched fingers, grinning* We will need his ring. The wedding ring's mold and its make will tell us much about who else could have worn its twin.

Trixany: Uh. Why are you talking like a quest NPC?

Haris: I took a master class. In fact, today's sponsor MasterProfession gives you unlimited access to--

Trixany: Hey! I don't know how the hell you run your tumblr blog, Haris, but no ads in our little chats on Team Trixany!!

Haris: Sorry. *mutters* And no wonder it looks so chintzy around here...

Trixany: Gosh, who has that old ring? Lots of adventurers were there at the scene of Gul'dan's death, in the Nighthold. And icons too, like Tyrande and Khadgar.

Haris: And Illidan.

Trixany: You think Illidan really has that thing? Ugh! And, he hated him.

Haris: Illidan had a very intimate relationship with Gul'dan's skull. I don't think the man's jewelry would have slowed him down.

Trixany: Intimate--ew, Haris! Don't put it like THAT!