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weaselle · 6 months ago

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@biggyb I wanted to answer you and then it became so much that i felt it needed to be it's own post.

So, if it was enacted on a large or ubiquitous scale, that is absolutely a concern, that if everybody had more money prices would just increase, rendering the UBI useless.

what would we do about that?

One the one hand that is basically already what happens anyway, which is why cost of living increases etc are a thing. And on the other hand there are a few mechanisms that can curb that, things like rent control laws.

But ultimately, personally, i believe the real answer is to remove the money aspect and provide the basic necessities directly.

When we say UBI we’re basically talking about the government giving us money (which has to come from somewhere, and that probably means some kind of progressive wealth tax, which is really just wealth redistribution at that point but whatever)

Anyway I believe it would be more effective for the government to provide those things directly (but not exclusively). I believe the baseline for society is everybody has free access to:

HEALTHCARE

All forms of healthcare (this is an important one, the very best we can do should be available to anyone who needs it, with no conditions, no barriers to entry like complicated paperwork, if you need health care you should get it, period.

INFORMATION

This means a free press, and education, true, but i also mean internet access, which at this point in our society i think is necessary for equality

NUTRITION

So, not just food, but a complete diet. This can still be very basic, little more than rice and beans, with medical exemption options of course, but it can be enough that it is the bare minimum food types, maybe rice beans and a couple types of dark green veggie and a couple types of vitamin C fruit. Possibly eggs or peanuts or something. Nothing fancy, just good quality ingredients that contain enough nutrition to keep you not only alive but fully healthy. And i think this should be provided in both raw ingredient form and cooked form.

CLOTHING

This one gets overlooked a lot, but kids need shoes, and struggling people need blankets and jackets, and everybody needs access to clothes, actually. Again, can be very basic, maybe government issued overalls, socks, jackets, blankets, and some kind of cheap tennis shoes would be most of it, but everybody needs access to clothes.

And finally HOUSING

So for example, the government would build apartment complexes that were just freely available to the public, first come first serve, you sign for it and the apartment is yours until you give it up or take another apartment.

We already have our government building and running public schools and libraries, we just need to upgrade those a bit. We already have governments building and running hospitals, we just need to do a lot more of that a lot better and get these private insurance companies to fuck off.

And then we just need to provide the clothes, open the Food Distribution Centers and build the housing.

Because then it won’t be money, so you don’t have to worry about the prices of everything going up because everybody has more income, which you are correct, is a concern. So just provide those things directly.

This is much less like taking money from the super wealthy and putting it into the bank accounts of everyone else, and much more the way taxes are supposed to work taking money from those that can spare it and using it to build a society that is better for everyone - even improving things for those super wealthy people (who now at the very least get to walk around safer from the sick and the homeless and the desperate - i mean violent crime alone would probably do whatever the opposite of sky-rocket is. Ground-dive.)

And people will still get jobs and spend money! Like, just because you provide government overalls, doesn’t mean people will stop wanting fashion brands. But now nobody will die of exposure from not having clothes. Same with everything, for example, the government school system is extremely developed, but there are still private schools, right?

That would be true of all this. If you gave everyone access to basic nutrition, there would still be steak houses and sushi restaurants and stuff. But now you could actually have the public boycott foods they felt were sourced unethically, or you could, say, regulate the fishing industry into sustainability even if that meant fish became so expensive that the average person could only eat fish once a year or whatever. Businesses might die from it, but no people would. Not even the people who used to own those businesses.

For my money, no money is where it’s at. But UBI would be a nice stepping stone.

What UBI experiments show us is that when you give people money and they DON’T get a job, but just exist at the minimum level, they are usually only doing so to accomplish something like go back to school for a degree or take care of a disabled or elderly loved one.

And the same would be true if we just provided everyone with the basics (except healthcare, everybody must get the best we have when it comes to healthcare, anything else is a moral failing that doesn’t bear contemplating)

but yeah, there would be people who would only wear government issued overalls, only live in government barracks, and only eat government rice and beans… but UBI experiments show us that it would be a small percentage of the population, and they'd only be doing it either to accomplish something worthy, or because they were in some way impaired. 90% of everyone else would still be out there getting jobs so they could move into a nice house and eat fish, but now with the security to quit if those jobs didn’t treat them well!

imo, THAT’s how you fix the economic issues surrounding UBI, you take the “income” out of the equation and you just straight up provide the Universal Basics themselves.

"but how would we build all these apartments and run these food distribution centers?"

well, this dovetails into my other favorite solution for the united states.

See, we spend a FUCKTON on the military, and we're just never going to make that stop happening, apparently.

So I say, we INCREASE the military. I say double it even.

And then we use them here, keeping them sharp and employed and trained etc by doing public works.

The military is already full of engineers and cooks and doctors and electricians and forklift operators and everything else.

So get them building apartments and running food distribution and supplementing hospital staffs etc.

All that stuff involves, logistics, and teamwork, and knowing how to run projects and accomplish missions, it's all good training even for the combat personnel, which is only 15% of the people in the military btw.

The rest are those other jobs i mentioned. So hire and train even more of them, and then deploy them here, repairing bridges and building hospitals and managing clothing warehouses and stuff.

anyway. Food for thought.

#ubi #sorry if this is a longer answer than you wanted #i do the words it's what i do #these are the things i think about

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maddy-k-reads-all-day · 5 days ago

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Let’s Go Shopping!

Previous Fantape

Okay… I found the Let’s Go Shopping tape rather quickly… I don’t have much time left… but there’s still two more tapes to go. Alright, no point in wasting time thinking about it. Let’s do this. Riley thinks, putting the new tape into the VCR.

“Hi friends! I’m Amanda!” Amanda smiles and waves.

“And I’m Wooly!” Wooly beams.

“And today, we’re going grocery shopping!”

“Yaaaay…” Wooly says unenthusiastically.

“Come on Wooly, you can do better than that.”

“But like… it’s grocery shopping! That’s boring grown up stuff.”

“Yeah Wooly, boring grown up stuff.” Amanda grins.

“I still don’t get it.”

“We can pretend to be grown ups today!”

“Oooh! Like doing taxes?” Wooly asks. Amanda gives him a look that is a mixture of confusion, disgust, bafflement, and annoyance. “What? Isn’t that like… the grown up thing of grown up things?”

“Yeah, the one that not even grown ups like.”

“Well I don’t like grocery shopping so…”

“Well we need to go grocery shopping. We don’t need to do taxes. We never do taxes.”

“But taxes need to be done too…”

“HAMELN’S BEEN COMMITTING TAX EVASION FOR CENTURIES!” Amanda screams.

“Amanda!” Wooly gasps.

“It’s true! I walked by an accountants meeting in their office one time and I overheard them. There was this new guy and he asked when they were gonna start doing the taxes. And the other two accountants said they don’t. Never did never will. Ever. Well… they pay for the building. That’s it. A company tradition and apparently they’re proud of it.” Amanda shrugs. Wooly looks horrified.

“You’re gonna get us in trouble!” Wooly hisses.

“I don’t have in me to care anymore.” Amanda sighs.

“If we’re being watched right now I just want to make it clear that I have been very well-behaved!” Wooly announces. “Please don’t torture me…”

“Well-behaved?” Amanda laughs, “Wooly you got mad at our friend, went of script, Talked about things we weren’t supposed to talk about, talked about wanting to leave, swore, made a mess of the kitchen, destroyed the toy store, almost killed our friend-”

“Those last few were accidents…” Wooly mumbles.

“Doesn’t matter! The point is… you’ve become just as naughty as me Wooly.” Amanda announces proudly. “And that means if I’m getting in trouble for all the stuff I did, you are too.”

“Oh no… oh no no no no no-” Wooly frets, covering his ears and shaking his head.

“But they haven’t come for us yet right? And if they do, well it’s already too late so...” Amanda gives a silly look to the sky, sticking out her tongue.

“Heh heh… and just what are you trying to say Amanda?” Wooly laughs nervously.

“Join the dark side Wooly. Do it.” Amanda grins wickedly, leaning up against him, “You’re not a goody-two-shoes anymore.”

“Awwww fine!” Wooly shouts, tugging on his ears, “the cooks in the cafeteria never wash their hands. I had- on multiple occasions- seen them in the bathroom and they’d just leave without doing it! Oh my gosh they’re gonna kill me.” Amanda is giving him a wide evil grin.

“If it were me, I’d thank them! Now can we go shopping?” Amanda smirks, looking extremely proud of herself.

“Why did I do that why did I do that why did I-”

“We’re going shopping, come on.” Amanda announces, dragging an anxious mumbling Wooly behind her by the arm. “First things first. We have to get bacon from the butcher.”

“NO!” Wooly snaps. “Come Amanda please… we don’t need bacon!”

“Well… we need chicken too…”

“We don’t need meat!”

“Wooly I’m not giving up bacon.”

“Please please please I don’t wanna go in there! Can’t I just stay outside?”

“And make me go in there all alone? Me? Your partner in crime? Your best friend?” Amanda gives him the puppy dog eyes.

“You’re the one who can’t give up bacon.” Wooly scoffs, rolling his eyes.

“We’re going in there. Can you tell us where I can find the butcher?” Amanda asks. The butcher’s shop disappears. “Wooly. Put it back. Now.”

“Fiiiiine.” Wooly groans. “Amanda, you're really brave. If it were just me here I would’ve given up on meat entirely.” The butcher’s shop reappears and Riley selects it.

“Well good thing I’m here then huh?” Amanda points out, then her voice gets super-serious, “I want to be in and out of here as quickly as possible. I know you like to answer wrong on purpose to be funny but this time if you say anything wrong I. Will. END. You.”

“Amanda…”

“Let’s practice. I’m going to say: ‘Can you tell the meatman what we need?’ you’re going to say bacon. Ready? ‘Can you tell the meatman what we need?” Amanda prompts. Riley types in Wooly.

“OH PEACHES NO! DON’T YOU DARE SAY THAT! SAY ANYTHING BUT THAT!” Wooly pleads. “I’D END YOU.”

“Okay got the sillies out? Let’s try again. ‘Can you tell the meatman what we need?” Amanda prompts. Bacon. “Good. Then I’ll say, ‘Do we need anything else?’ and you’ll say chicken. Ready? ‘Do we need anything else?” Chicken. Riley types. “Great job! Now if you value your li- I mean- Our friendship you will say exactly that and nothing else.”

“I don’t wanna go in there.”

“Just don’t make eye contact and you’ll be fine.”

“I’m closing my eyes…” Wooly says. Amanda and Wooly go to walk into the shop, Wooly walks into the wall. “Ow.” Amanda rolls her eyes, takes his hand and pulls him inside.

“Hi meatman!” Amanda fake-smiles, “Can you tell the meatman what we need?” Bacon. “That’s right? Do we need anything else?” Chicken. “Great!” Amanda and Wooly stand there uncomfortably as the meatman pulls out what they need. Amanda looks more and more nervous by the second. Finally the meatman hands them their meat. “Thanks meatman.” Amanda smiles then immediately books it, “Oh phew. I am SO glad to be out there.”

“Ama-Amanda, my hand hurts.” Wooly sputtered. Riley realizes that Amanda had been squeezing the life out of Wooly’s hand.

“Oh I’m sorry.” Amanda replies quickly letting go. Wooly shakes it back into shape. Riley is surprised it isn’t broken.

“Amanda… you really were scared… and you went in anyway… how did you do that?”

“Honestly? I just don’t care anymore. If I’m going to have to live here I might as well LIVE here.”

“You really have given up, huh?”

“No. I will get out of this…” Amanda replies, she glances at Wooly and smiles. “We will get out of this.” Wooly nods and gives her a smile back. “Now let’s get the rest of the things on our list. Next we’ll need apples and peaches-”

“But Amanda, you don’t like peaches…” Wooly points out then he gasps excitedly, flapping his hands, “WAIT DID YOU PUT THEM ON THE LIST FOR ME?”

“Don’t get used to it.” Amanda sighs, hiding a smile.

“Can you tell us where the store is?” Wooly asks excitedly, jumping up and down. Riley clicks on the store. “Let’s go! Let’s go! Let’s go!”

“I thought you didn’t like grocery shopping?” Amanda teases.

“LET’S GOOOOO!” Wooly beams. Amanda smiles and rolls her eyes. Now they are in the store.

“Can you tell us where the apples are?” Amanda asks. Riley clicks on the apples.

“Now the peaches! Now the peaches!” Wooly chants. Riley clicks on the peaches.

“Now where is the bread?” Amanda giggles. Riley clicks on the bread that is sitting on the back shelf. “Great, I think that’s all we need!” The tape takes them back outside.

“Yay! Good job shopping with us today! We got everything we need!”

“Say Amanda, we did such a good job, I think we deserve a special treat.” “Wooly, don’t push your luck.” Amanda smirks.

“Come on Amanda please?” “We gotta stick to the budget!” Amanda teases. “We got bills to pay!”

“We don’t even have jobs!” Wooly whines.

“We gotta pay our taxes!”

“Hameln doesn’t even pay their taxes.”

“Pfft. Okay Wooly, okay. We can get a special treat.”

“Yay!”

“Can you tell us where the candy store is?” Amanda asks. Riley clicks on the candy store and they go inside.

“Ooooh! Look at all the candy!” Wooly gasps. “It all looks so yummy! I don’t know what to choose! Haha! Look Amanda, this lollipop is as big as my face!”

“Grow up Wooly.” Amanda laughs. Wooly looks a little sad. “Fine, we’ll get the big lollipops.” His face lights up and they leave the store. Amanda is looking at her shopping list glumly while Wooly is trying to fit the giant lollipop in his mouth… somehow.

“How do you even eat something so big?” he wonders. He breaks off a piece, sticks it in his mouth and sucks on it.

“You lick it dummy.” Amanda explains.

“Really? I always just put the whole thing in my mouth and bit it.” Wooly replies, looking up at her with a completely dead-serious look. Amanda decides not to comment on that. She watches as Wooly licks his lollipop, clearly enjoying it. She looks at her own and gives a weak smile.

“I wish we could grow up for real.” she sighs. Wooly stops.

“But… we will. Someday.” Wooly says thoughtfully.

“Yeah… someday…” The Hameln jingle plays, signifying the tape’s end. Riley quickly solved the puzzle that went with it… and… finally, Riley had found the last two tapes hidden in this building. Now if I wanna get out of here alive I better book it. They thought, stuffing the tapes into their bag. They look at their phone again. They send a message: I have something I need to talk to you about… can I come over? No going back now… they think. They take one last look back at the building. They think about what Kate said. About not watching the tapes about how it was all hopeless. They thought about Amanda and Wooly… who felt completely abandoned in the world. How would Amanda feel if she’d known Kate had given up? I’m pretty sure she thinks Kate put me up to this… that’s part of why she trusts me… she trusts me. Both of them trust me. I’m sorry Kate… I have to do this. They need me. They think, then they leave the building behind.

Authors note: (probably should start labeling this part huh lol)

First off... the poll is almost over! Gee, I wonder what Riley's plan is? Looks like Wooly's going to be joining in on a lot more of Amanda's hijinks! RIP to his hand tho. Oof. A fun but bittersweet chapter for you all before the next two... hehe. (Seriously, now that I have a plan for these next two chapters I really hope that the losing poll options don't make a sudden comeback and win at the last second cuz that would be a pain after all the foreshadowing I've done).

Next tape

#amanda the adventurer #amanda the adventurer 2 #wooly the sheep #ata 2 #amanda the adventurer wooly #maddykpost #fanfic #fanfiction #maddykwrites

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ex-foster · 2 months ago

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So much of the literature on former foster kids who age out of care are written for audiences that are outsiders looking in: social workers, foster parents, therapists, etc. It is SO rare for any literature to be aimed at US as the primary audience. There's scientific literature written on why former foster kids have attachment issues, the effects of trauma, or statistical outcomes for former foster kids (homelessness, housing insecurity, poverty, unemployment, underemployment, ptsd, addictions, relationship problems, sex trafficking, etc). We are constantly viewed as data points and societal problems rather than an audience that society can interact WITH.

Research papers will note that former foster kids lack basic life skills when they age out compared to their peers (things like how to cook, drive, financial literacy, social skills are common themes in research). This skill gap can be explained by neglect, system failures to provide adequate life skill training, and the fact that inconsistent/changing caregivers may not even be aware of what skill gaps a foster kid has compared to their peers. That's how you get kids aging out of the system without even knowing how to operate a dishwasher or how to read an analog clock. But where is the literature for former foster kids to close this skill gap? We know that former foster kids lack certain skills but then we don't tell them where do go or who to ask to obtain them. You can call 211 right now and ask them about resources for former foster youth and they MIGHT list a program or two that helps with financial aid for school or life skill classes (like cooking or driving) but many of these are restrictive programs that are only available for a limited time. I learned about the 211 services when I was 24 years old! Nobody told me about it. I only found out about it when I moved to a new city and a city employee gave me a 211 pamphlet because I was a newcomer. It didn't occur to anyone I needed that at 18 when I was aging out. And when you ask 211 about resources now, they will ONLY list programs for former foster youth. They will NOT offer advice the way a parental figure would ("you may want to check out the youth employment center" or "talk to your bank about a tax free savings account").

I just wish there were more things aimed at US.

Tired of hearing things like "there's negative stigma against foster youth" but then there's no literature on how to navigate this. How do you approach that conversation with coworkers or friends? Things like that. It's non-existent.

#Ffy #foster care #aging out

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mostlysignssomeportents · 2 years ago

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The Big Four accounting firms are one (more) scandal away from collapse

One of the wildest features of the crypto wipeout is that all of these “multi-billion-dollar” firms never bothered with an independent audit, and they all turned out to be lying about their balance sheets.

Amidst this carnage, it’s easy to forget that the Big Four accounting firms are terrible enablers of fraud, and the fact that they sign off on your books is no guarantee that you’re not a giant scam waiting to implode.

This is just wild to consider. After all, independent auditors are the lifeblood of capitalism. Rich people really need to know that the people they trust with their money aren’t lying about their finances. Usually rich people get their way.

But not with accounting. Accountancy has dwindled to four massive, structurally important, terminally conflicted companies: EY, KPMG, PWC and Deloitte, and all four make more money selling “consulting” to companies than they do for signing off on their books.

https://pluralistic.net/2021/02/18/ink-stained-wretches/#countless

That means that the Big Four routinely sign off on fraudulent books, because a failure to make nice with companies that are cheating the taxman and/or their investors and/or their creditors will cost the Big Four those fat consulting contracts.

Besides, the Big Four have a sweet gig: when they sign off on fraudulent books — as all four did for Carillion, the company that went bust in 2018 after billions went missing — they are the only companies big enough to oversee the bankruptcies. All four made millions off of Carillion’s bankruptcies.

Shorn of any consequences for wrongdoing, the Big Four are hotbeds of corruption. Who can forget when KPMG’s top management was fined millions…for helping their auditors cheat…on ethics exams (!!!!).

https://pluralistic.net/2021/06/04/aaronsw/#crooked-ref

There is a contradiction at the heart of “consulting” and auditing. The consultant’s job is to help a company obscure its bad deeds — for example, helping it hide its tax fraud, or its wage theft — while an auditor’s job is to bring transparency to a company’s financials. These two activities are fundamentally incompatible with one another, and the fact that the Big Four make more money from cooking books than from uncooking them means that they forever lurch from scandal to scandal.

Those scandals are getting worse, and if a very big one should break, it could bring down the whole sector and with it, large swathes of the economy. Writing for The Dig, Jim Peterson describes the system risk:

https://thedig.substack.com/p/tipping-point-the-financial-fragility

The problem lies in the fact that the Big Four are “voluntary private partnerships to which individual accountants commit their energy, reputations and personal capital.” If a scandal threatens the business, partners who quit might get away clean, while those that stay behind will be mired in scandal and financial ruin.

That means that when disaster looms, each partner is better off individually running for the doors, even though a disciplined stay-and-hold posture might let the firm weather the storm. This is exactly what happened at Arthur Andersen during the Enron collapse, and the risk to other firms was identified by “Study on the Economic Impact of Auditors’ Liability Regimes,” a 2006 EU report:

https://www.iasplus.com/en/binary/europe/0610audit.pdf

The thing is, each partner at a big firm knows exactly how much dirty laundry they have personally buried in the company’s garden, and they have well-founded suspicions about what their partners have buried out there, too. When someone starts digging, they’re all gonna scarper.

Which is to say that if a firm faces sufficiently steep litigation damages or enforcement penalties, it could precipitate a sudden collapse of one of the remaining Big Four firms. That wouldn’t just be bad news for the firm — its clients would struggle to land another large auditor to sign off on its books.

Remember, most of the world’s auditing capacity has been gathered into four giant, brittle, opaque, compromised firms — if one of them goes bust, the remaining Big Three won’t have the capacity to take on its orphaned clients.

Peterson: “another collapse would strand significant numbers of the world’s large public companies, leaving them unable to procure the audit opinions required for their securities listings and regulatory compliance, from any source and at any price.”

Peterson’s written a fascinating-sounding book on the structural problems with monopolized accounting, “Count Down: The Past, Present and Uncertain Future of the Big Four Accounting Firms,” which is in its second edition:

https://www.emerald.com/insight/publication/doi/10.1108/9781787147003

Image: Vectorportal.com (modified) https://vectorportal.com/vector/business-deal-illustration/23215

CC BY 4.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

Inspired by an illustration by Matt Kenyon for the Financial Times https://www.ft.com/content/07184d86-81cf-11e2-b050-00144feabdc0

[Image ID: Two business-suited male figures seen side on; each has a bomb for a head, and each is holding a lit lighter that has ignited the other's fuse. Each bomb is wearing a green accountant's eyeshade. In the background is a fiery mushroom cloud.]

#pluralistic

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deathsmallcaps · 4 months ago

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Adam The Raven Cycle Headcanons

I think we all underestimate how much Adam’s rural poverty affects his looks and history, especially towards the beginning of the series.

1. Rural Appalachians often have mostly British ancestry. The British often have narrow mouths that are prone to overcrowding. This sort of problem takes money to fix. Therefore, Adam probably did not have nice teeth at the beginning of the series. He might be fixing it as an adult in college, but that really depends on how much money he has and/or is willing to throw at it right now. He may smile close-lipped a lot, or has the urge to cover his mouth with his hand. They might be yellowish, they might be crooked, he could have an under or overbite.

2. Adam most likely kept his hair really short for a good amount of his life, because lice. And/or, he had a mullet at one point, just because they’re good at keeping hair out of your face if done well, and keeps your neck warm when it’s cold. This practice likely changed once he entered Aglionby for fitting in purposes, but yeah. He may have mustache, if he can grow one (I don’t remember), because that’s very popular for young men in the South. And certainly taking scissors to it to ‘style’ it occasionally is cheaper than buying razors all the time. There’s a good chance he cuts all of his hair.

3. His hands are likely still calloused from all his jobs. It’s said in the books his hands are dry and cracked, and that he used to lick them to try and soothe them. Maybe he bought lotion once in a moment of ‘weakness’ (because he doesn’t want to waste money) and his friends top it off occasionally and hope he doesn’t notice it’s a different color or smell. Because he’s not going to buy more.

4. He’s either a huge neat freak or genuinely doesn’t know a lot about cleaning. That’s how you cope if you live in a trailer year round. You either keep everything as neat as possible, looking cleaning tips like a bored housewife. Or you leave crumbs and cooking scraps because having roaches in your kitchen is just a part of life.

5. I’m going to do some math, skip down to END OF MATH if you don’t care :/

Virginia’s minimum wage in 2012, when the books started being published, was $7.25. If Adam SOLELY used the money from his jobs for the reminder of his tuition ($18,423), that means he had to work 2,541 hours and 7 minutes a year to make that money. Let’s round that up to 2700 because he might need schoolbooks or food or occasionally pay for transportation.

Considering he has to make $18,423 a year, he’s skirting the next tax bracket pretty close *unless* he is working under the table. Since it’s already crazy that he’s doing this shit, let’s assume he’s working under the table. Because otherwise this gets even more miserable. In any case, if he needs to work 2700 hours to make it, he‘ll end up grossing $19,575.

Average American summer is about 8 weeks. So if transportation to each job is 45 minutes, including getting up and ready, etc, because of weather and iffy transportation options, and let’s say he’s working two shifts at two jobs, maybe eating lunch during work or transportation, that means if he allowed himself 6 hours of sleep a night during the summer, he would be ‘transporting’ 2.25 hours a day (I’m going to round it up to 2.5 to account for lunch and to make it easier), that’s a 15.5 hour day.

7 days a week times 15.5 hours times eight weeks is 868 hours, he’s made $6,293 out of the $19,575 needed. Leaving $13,282 to make.

Winter break is about 2 weeks in southern states like Virginia. A week for Spring. Three weeks. Assuming he can get similar hours at his jobs as he did in the summer, that’s 325.5 hours, and $2359.875. I’m going to round it down to $2359. So now he *just* needs to make $10,923 (lol).

Now, using those season break numbers, that leaves 41 weeks in a year for school. However, the average school week is 5 days, and school years in VA are 180 days. So if there never were any holidays and snow days, etc, school would take 36 weeks to complete.

In the interest of not going crazy, let’s work with the average school week of 5 days and say there’s 36 of those. I’m sure Adam worked holidays, but this will roughly amount to the same thing.

I think I remember Adam did early morning shifts and pulled 16 hours on the weekends during the schoolyear. So we’ll work that into his average school day.

Adam still needs to make $10,923. If he works 15.5 hours on a weekend day (using the same numbers as the summer calculations)(Saturday and Sunday that’s two days) for 36 weeks, that’s $8,091 out of the $10,923. That kid works to the bone. Leaving just $2,832 to make to reach that necessary minimum.

$2,832 comes out to about 390 hours and 37 minutes left needed to work. Let’s round it to 391.

That means if spread out over 36 weeks, he needs to work 10 hours and 52 minutes a week. Let’s bring it up to 11 hours.

The average high school day is 7.5 hours, including lunch. So that leaves 16.5 hours in Adam’s weekday.

HOWEVER. He still needs to do schoolwork. The average American teen spends 3.5 hours of time on schoolwork. I think Adam could probably power through it, and not really get distracted like ya girl but also it’s a private school and he’s taking all the hard classes. And hard classes like to pile shit on. So let’s go with 3.5 hours, every weekday. Yes he skips school for injuries a lot, maybe he gets more schoolwork done or job work done during that time. That’s harder to account for.

So that leaves 13 hours for non school activities.

He likely works in 2-3 shifts to cover the eleven hours each week, or maybe it depends on the week - maybe this week he has to work all 5 mornings, maybe the next week he works none. But let’s assume he splits it over all five days for averages sake. That means that 11 hours a week is 2 hours and 12 minutes a day (let’s bring it up to 15 minutes.). So 2.25 hours. Meaning he now has 10.75 hours left in the day.

Assuming transportation including getting ready and going to bed etc is as usual 45 minutes, that means he’s going to work, to school, to home every day. That’s another 2.25 hours. Now he has 8.5 hours left in the day.

Let’s assume he dedicates one third of his available weekday hours to friends. At 8.5 hours for non school non work non homework non transportation time, that means he spends 2 hours and 50 minutes with friends. Let’s round it to 3 hours. Because having fun with friends really does take that kind of time! And he’s really close with those peeps.

END OF MATH

That means he’s getting at most 5.5 hours of sleep on the weekdays.

I don’t remember if he works like this *throughout* all the first series’ books or just the first book. But your boy is tired as fuck. His skin is terrible. His eyebags have eyebags. He probably has a lot of wrinkles and grime under his nails. And he’s going to look even more haggard after ‘breaks’ and on Mondays especially.

I don’t remember how he affords that apartment in later books.

In any case, our boy does not look well at all.

6. This is going to fuck him up severely once he hits college too. I don’t remember if he got loans or scholarships or what. But even if he got a full ride, he’s going to be recovering sleep and health wise for years to come. He probably struggles to eat a salad sometimes. He needs to, for sure, but it’s so outside his taste buds’ usual range and his wallet’s usual range. And no one ever helped him figure out what dressing or vinaigrette made it tolerable for him. That boy has been living on canned food sales and ramen forever. He might get a meal plan and get sick from trying new foods or still act like he’s paying for each piece of food at the grocery store.

7. Very good chance he’s a coupon clipper and still has a little trouble convincing himself that he doesn’t need to buy 6 cans of beans just because they’re $5 all together. Instead of the just one can that he needs this week.

#adam parrish #the raven cycle #the raven boys #maggie stiefvater #idk #I used to lick my hands #I’m taking these details from friends and peers #I didn’t grow up this way #but my mom pretty much did and a lot of people I go to school with do

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subsmoke-love · 1 year ago

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Cringe and Cursed Lin Kuei HCs

Tomáš Vrbada

The reason Bi Han hates him so much is because as a child he snuck into his room and waxed his balls while he was asleep.

He also got his Vrbadussy pounded by Kuai but we don't speak about that

At some point as a child he wanted to be like Bi Han so he continuously ate yellow snow hoping it would turn him into a cryomancer

He eats flowers when he's alone, that's why his breath always smells great

He got his ass kicked because he wouldn't stop saying "sticking out your gyatt for the rizzler you're so skibidi you're so fanum tax"

Tried to cook eggs and bacon on Kuai's face while he slept

Listened to 'Pumped Up Kicks' except it wasn't Pumped Up Kicks and he ate a shoebox

His nickname for Bi Han is "one inch wonder"

Kuai Liang

As the middle child he hated being ignored so he stuffed a moldy egg salad sandwich under Bi Han's pillow

When confronted he proudly admitted to it and got the ass beating of a life time but was happy to get attention

Pounded Smoke's Vrbadussy but said "IF YOU MAKE ANY NOISE AND BI HAN CATCHES US I'M GONNA BEAT YOUR ASS SO HARD YOU'LL BE SINGING 'WHAT'S MY NAME' BY RIHANNA"

Enjoyed twerking and bouncing a basketball with his ass

Identified as a furry so Bi Han made him use a litter box

Kept quickly running out of deodorant sticks because he thought it was lube

He wanted to know what "blue balls" were so he dyed his balls blue

Would not stop singing "pizza pasta put it in a box bring it here and put it on my cock the tortellini on my weenie pepperoni on the walls cheezy on my peeny and some sauce a on my balls"

Bi Han

Tried to dice up baby Tomáš and incorporate him into his salad

Also tried to turn Tomáš into a Thanksgiving meal

Taped baby Tomáš to the door

Took Kuai and Tomáš to McDonalds and held an employee at gunpoint for not having any BBQ sauce left

Got made fun of for buying Sareena's e-girl bath water

Pays monthly subscription of $27.82 for Sareena's OnlyFans account

Jerked off to Sareena feet pics except he didn't have a flesh light so he used Tomáš's peanut butter jar

Clogged the shower drain with pubic hair

#i told you these would be cursed and cringe #kuai liang #tomas vrbada #mk bihan #bi han #subzero #mortal kombat #subsmoke #mk scorpion

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abbatoirablaze · 1 year ago

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Locked Up, Chapter 3

Word Count: 3.3k

Warnings: manipulation, attempted blackmail, sexual situations.

‘Every sweet ounce of you belongs to me, doc. Let Jensen taste you again, and he won’t wake up.’

The words felt like they were constantly swimming around in your brain with no possible way of leaving it. The ink was so bright that it looked like it had been written with the blood that poured from Jake’s body after he’d been stabbed.

The note in itself was paying with you in every sense of the word. It was eerie and to the point, much like the attack on Jensen.

It was left in your office in broad daylight.

It could have been left by anyone.

And that was what had scared you the most.

“Doc?”

You jumped, nearly out of your own skin. Turning, you were surprised to see Connors at the door. He had his own arm held firmly to your next patient.

Sargent James Buchanan Barnes.

Better known as Bucky.

Before he was locked up he and Steve Rogers ran what could only be described as some sort of mob family, which quickly left a trail of bodies in their wake as they gained power.

And both men were extremely paranoid the more successful they became. They’d killed people they thought were traitors. Women they’d slept with. Anyone that looked at them wrong, really.

But because of their business, they often managed to hide it. That was, until they were going to get caught on a tax evasion charge. Their accountant who had been cooking the books had safeguards in place and had made it so that when he was abducted, a file went to the police, along with a tracker that was sewn into his suit to look like button.

The feds caught Barnes and Rogers red-handed, Bucky with his trademark knives, still carving the man to pieces, while Steve had been busy re-counting the money that the accountant had tried to make off with; the accountant’s wife dead beside him, her neck broken.

“Doc?” Connors asked, knocking you from your thoughts once more. You bit your lip and stood, giving him a nervous smile, “everything alright? I can always bring Barnes by later if you need some time.”

“No…no…it’s fine,” you said quickly, shaking your head, “now is perfectly fine…I-I just-I was just thinking about Jensen is all…he-he seemed so happy the other day. Then today, he’s lying in a bed, new stab wounds and all…it’s hard to imagine that someone would go after him.”

“Don’t take any of it personally, doc…these guys all have their own systems,” Connors chuckled as he entered your office. Your brow raised as one of the other guards followed him in. A woman, “hope you don’t mind I showed up with someone other than Magda.”

“Trust me, I’m always happy to get some time away from him,” you scoffed. You turned your attention to the other correctional officer, “I’m-“

“The new doc,” she said quickly, cutting you off. She didn’t reach for your outstretched hand, and you retracted it, feeling awkward that you were left hanging, “yeah…I know who you are.”

“She’s got good working relationships with a few of the inmates…” Connors acknowledged, reminding you that while she may seem cold, there was more to her than met the eye, “she’s good at keeping the floor under control.”

“You don’t care for me much, do you?” you asked, testing the waters. She raised her brow, but said nothing else, “alright. Well, I’m here to help the inmat-“

“You’ve been causing trouble on my floor,” she said simply as she eyed you up and down, “they’re getting riled up over what you’ve been saying to them…some others are especially upset about Jensen and how he got shanked…”

You frowned, “I’m sorry you feel that way.”

“Try not to rile Barnes up…yeah?” she growled out, turning and heading back out of the room without another word to you.

“Sorry about her,” Connors frowned as he led Bucky to the chair and bolted him in place, “she’s just…particular about the order of the floor.”

“Sounds like it.”

“Still don’t miss Magda?”

“I don’t know…I might!”

He smirked, “Well…we’ll be back in what, half an hour to pick him up and then we can switch him out with another one.”

“Sounds good,” you offered, trying to keep a calm face, “I’ll see you soon.”

You watched as he made his way out the door, closing it behind him. After, you turned your attention to the inmate bolted to the floor, “Sergeant Barnes…”

His silvery eyes met yours, amusement lacing them.

“You’re not Reyes.”

“I’m not,” you confirmed, “I’m his replacement.”

“Hmm.”

“Is there something you’d like to talk about, Sargent Barnes?” you asked. He stared at you without any expression and you let him take a minute to adjust. You leaned against your desk, staring right back at him, “you know, James…this only works if-“

“Don’t call me James.”

This time it was your brow that raised, “don’t call you by your name?”

“No disrespect, doc, but I’d prefer not to be called by my first name…” he said simply.

“And why is that?” you asked.

He looked away from you, not wanting to meet your eyes. Your head quirked as you watched his body language. He was uncomfortable around you, that much was obvious.

“James…”

His eyes snapped to yours. A shiver ran down your spine. While you were definitely confident, there was something about the way that he looked at you that made you reconsider your choice in using his first name, “J-James…”

“You know what happened to the last woman that called me by my first name?”

You felt like your heart began to race in your chest, “I-i-no…”

You noticed his arms flex, and your breath hitched in your throat. With a quick snap of his arms, the chain broke away from his bionic arm.

But you didn’t even flinch. While there was obviously something dangerous about him, you didn’t feel threatened.

“It’s in my file,” he muttered in a huff, “I’ll tell you one more time, in case you didn’t hear me. Don’t call me James, doll.”

“Hey there doc,” a voice taunted as soon as you opened your door to your office. Internally you groaned, seeing the obnoxious playboy bolted to the chair, his grin all too smug for the place he was in, “did you miss me?”

“Mr. Drysdale…are you supposed to be here?”

“Well, I told the C.O that I just had to see you,” he smiled even wider, “and you know, Connors…he just loves being helpful…at least he loves it when it comes to you. You know…I think he likes you…”

You raised your brow at the inmate, “what are you insinuating, inmate?”

“Ohhh, not calling me by my name, sweetheart,” he taunted playfully, “there something going on with you and Connors? Something you want to dish about? I do love a good gossip session. Got any biscuits? We could snack and talk about boys and paint each other’s nails and do each other’s hair…but only if we get to have a naked pillow fight at the end of it. Spoiler, I’d win, and take that pretty little cunt for a ride while you’re bent over your desk, doc.”

“If we don’t have an appointmen-“

“Oh, but we do,” he smiled, leaning forward, “I think we have quite a lot to be talking about, don’t you?”

“Do we?” you asked, your brow raised, “because it seems like you’re only in the mood to be taunting me, inmate!”

The look he gave you was like that of a wolf looking hungrily at a lamb, “oh, without a doubt, sweet cheeks. We have so much to go over!”

“Mr. Drysdale-“

“Shame what happened to Jensen, isn’t it?” he asked pointedly. You tried not to look at him, but you felt as though your heart was racing with the simple question. A million thoughts ran through your mind as he continued, “I want to talk about something that’s affecting my mental well-being doc…someone being stabbed in jail-“

“You are in a prison Mr. Drysdale,” you said quickly, correcting him in a clipped tone as you tried to push back your own overwhelming thoughts, “those sort of things happen in prisons. They can be a dangerous place.”

“Only when you cross lines that shouldn’t be crossed…sure!”

You felt yourself freezing as you sat down in your chair, “do you…know of something happening to Mr. Jensen, Mr. Drysdale?”

His eyes flicked dangerously up to yours, “you know doc…I don’t know if I do…”

“Oh…”

“Shame about his injuries though…they shanked the guy when he was walking away…that seems mighty personal to me…”

“Do you know who hurt Jake?”

“Jake, hmm?” he teased, “were you two close? I thought that you weren’t because you know…you were getting him transferred to that other doc. But if you were…it’d make sense why you’re so concerned.”

“Mr. Drysdale-“

“You know…our C.O did that last month…got him transferred to a different floor…but then the warden figured it out and got her transferred off the floor instead…”

You paled, “wh-what?”

“Jensen has this disorder…where he attaches himself to just about anyone that gives him attention.”

“E-emophilia.”

Ransom nodded, his smirk growing on his face, “yeah…the C.O…she kept the warden from firing her because she fucked him…Jensen…and the warden too…and me. But Jensen was a problem when he started trying to treat her like a girlfriend. You know what…now that I think of it, she does get around a lot…tightest little cunt you’d ever have though, I’ll give her that…”

“Mr. Drysdal-“

“You know what I think?” he asked with a dangerous look, “I think that you and Jake got up to some funny business…but I think the warden’s only got a crush on one broad in this prison and he’s fucking her six ways to Sunday…what do you think would happen if someone let it slip that you and Jensen got up to some conjugal time?”

“Ransom-“

He lit up like a Christmas tree, “Bingo…”

You knew you messed up when you called him by his name, “M-Mr. Drysdale…”

“Suck me off and I’ll keep your little secret, doc!”

You paled, “W-what?”

“That’s my price,” he replied quickly, spreading his legs a little and pushing his hips forward in the chair, “suck my dick and I’ll keep my mouth shut about you fucking around with Jensen. Won’t have to go to that C.O…won’t tell her about you’re little playtime…she’s awfully jealous, you know. I’m sure she wouldn’t hesitate going to Warden Bodecker…then of course…she’d suck my dick for being a good little snitch…”

“I-I’m not-I’m not having sex with inmate Jensen.”

“Well, not right now you’re not. It’s kind of hard to do that when he’s lying in medical with that pretty little thing watching over him,” Ransom scoffed, “you got him shanked. Right now, he’s lying in medical with stitches in his back and side because of you. Fucked up or not, I don’t think he’s going to be crawling back to your pussy any time soon.”

“I think you should leave, Mr. Drysdale,” you said quickly, “I-I’m going to sit outside the room and wait for the correctional officers to come back.”

You got up from your desk quickly, trying to make a move to get far away from Ransom Drysdale as you could. Anxiety was building in the pit of your stomach, but you stopped when your hand touched the door.

“If you so much as put a foot outside that door, I’ll scream it to everyone and anyone that will listen,” he uttered, his tone deadly. You swallowed, looking back at him. You knew that he would live up to his promise, “you really want your career to be ruined because of Jensen? You’ve only just started it, haven’t you? Come on, doc…”

“N-No…”

The word had slipped out before you could stop it. The foreign, hollow syllable sounded so different slipping from your lips and Ransom went back to smiling.

“Then walk your uptight little cunt back over here, get on your knees, and be a good little slut and suck my dick, doc…” he growled, “or so help me god, I’ll fucking ruin your career doc…and that’s a god damned promise. It doesn’t matter that I’m locked up on these bullshit charges…my name has more pull than this entire godforsaken prison.”

Your hand fell away from the door.

You didn’t want to do it, but you knew that he wasn’t lying. Even though Ransom Drysdale was an inmate who had murdered his grandfather for money, he still had a lot of respect and influence on the outside world. You were certain that he would somehow cause a scandal if you didn’t listen to him.

Your career would be in tatters even before you could have a chance at it.

The world began to feel foreign as you felt yourself disassociating from your current situation. You reached back to the door and turned the lock until it clicked into place, then sulked towards him.

Every click of your heels felt hollow as you made your way back to his chair. He had a smug look on his face as you looked at him. Bile rose in the back of your throat.

“N-no one knows…no one will believe you…”

You were desperately hoping that he would back off. But he only chuckled, “if you believed that you would have walked out that door instead of locking it, doc…now get on your knees…and do your job. Do what you were really made for, and suck my dick.”

A whimper escaped your throat and you slowly dropped to your knees.

“Good girl,” he smirked, licking his lips, “now…I’m going to stand so you can pull down my pants.”

“O-okay…”

He stood and you felt your heart racing. You were eye-level with his cock. With shaky hands you reached up and tugged on his uniform pants, but they caught on to the obvious bulge he was sporting. You shuddered.

“Come on now, sweetheart…I don’t bite…not on the first time anyways. They’ve got me all locked up like an animal, so I can’t play with you like I want to.” Your eyes met his and his look went from joking to serious, “take my pants off, doc…”

You reached up and lifted the hem, the head of his cock accidentally touching your fingers. But his eyes closed, and he hissed with the feeling of that, and his cock being exposed to the cool air of your office as you pulled his pants over his thighs, letting them drop with a soft thud to the floor.

“Well?”

You were shaky enough in your movements, reaching up towards him. You didn’t expect him to grab you by your hair and pull you against his thigh. His cock bobbed angrily at the quick motion in front of your face. You yelped, “I said, suck my dick, doc!”

You reached up, tears streaming down your cheeks as your hand came in contact with the length. His tip was angry and red, already leaking precum. His hand on your hair tightened, and you began to feel the strain on your scalp.

“P-please let me go.”

“Begging won’t work on me, sweetheart,” he chuckled darkly, “Maybe if I was one of the softies…but I don’t give a damn about you. You mean nothing more to me than a free set of holes right now…”

He tugged on your hair, and you yelped again.

“You’re either gonna suck my cock or I’m going to start screaming, doc…simple as that,” he smirked, finally releasing you. You stumbled back onto your ass, fear in your eyes, “see, I’m bolted to the floor. You pulled my pants down…who you think they’re gonna believe? I’ll tell em about Jensen, and say that you got him stabbed because he was gonna rat you out…tell em that you moved onto me, thinking I’d be some easy target…I’m not violent…I follow most of the rules…you’d never have a chance, doc.”

You felt the anxiety building back up in your stomach again, “th-they won’t believe you.”

He smirked, sitting back down on the chair, bottoms still around his ankles, “fine…let’s test that theory doc…”

He opened his mouth again, this time to scream. Your eyes went wide, and you rushed him once again, “Please…NO. No! Wait…I-I’ll do it! I’ll do it!”

You could see the smirk on his face yet again, even before you removed your hand. You wished you could smack the smug look off his face.

He spread his legs once more, gesturing to his hardened member, “well, sweetheart…get started!”

“I-it was you, wasn’t it?” you asked nervously, “The letter…”

“Letter?” he asked, confusion lacing his features as he looked at you. He looked puzzled for a second, before his eyes went wide and he began to shake his head, “oh fuck no!”

Before you could ask him what he meant, he was standing once again, this time he was struggling to pull his pants up.

“Ra-Ransom!”

But his eyes snapped to you, holding you at arm’s length, “you can stay the fuck away from me if you got a letter! I’m not dealing with that again!”

“What?”

“I said stay the fuck away from m-“

The door went to open, but due to your previous idea of locking it, it budged against the frame, “Doc?”

You recognized Connor’s voice.

“GET ME OUT OF HERE!” Ransom screamed as you tried to take a step towards him, “SHE LOCKED THE DOOR!”

“Doc? Is everything okay in there?”

“Tell me who wrote the letter!”

“Fuck off you crazy bitch!” he spat, “Unlock the door and get the fuck away from me!”

“You-you’re scared of whoever wrote it-“

“Doc!”

“Tell me who wrote it!”

“Fuck off!” he hissed. Then he looked back to the door, “LET ME OUT!”

You ignored him, and instead of fighting it, and possibly making the situation worse on yourself, you ran to the door, unlocking it. Outside the door was Connors and the woman CO you had met. She was quick to rush to Ransom, worry lacing her own features.

They spoke in hushed words to one another, but your attention was more on the other CO, Conners, “what the hell was that?”

“He was saying that he didn’t want to talk today,” you lied quickly, “so I-“

“Why was the door locked?”

“I don’t know,” you shrugged, “I came in and he was sitting here. Guess you guys left him right before I came back for lunch. I must have forgotten to leave the door unlocked.”

“You can’t do that, doc,” he said quickly, eyeing you up and down, before looking to Drysdale and the other CO, who were still muttering in hushed tones, “some of these guys are extremely dangerous.”

“I’ve noticed.”

“Connors…can you take Drysdale down to medical?” the woman CO asked. You lifted your brow in surprise, “he says he’s about to have a panic attack. I’m going to figure out what they were talking about before it to avoid triggers in the future.”

“Yeah…yeah…” he sighed quickly. The CO quickly handed him off, but she stopped in front of you, waiting for the two men to disappear down the hall.

“I don’t know what inmate Drys-“

“Cut the bullshit…” she growled, “I know Hugh likes to think he’s sneaky but he’s not. You got a letter…”

You paled at how blunt she was being.

“I-I don’t know wha-“

“Stop,” she hissed, cutting you off, “I’m not playing little kid games. Hugh is wound up beca-“

“You keep calling him Hugh. Not Ransom. Not inmate Drysdale,” you pointed out, cutting her off, “I saw how hushed his whispers were. Is he doing the same thing to you that he’s trying to do with me?”

She scowled, “I can assure you that Hugh’s not doing the same things with you that he was with me.”

“You two are together.”

“I’ll only say this once doc. Stay away from Hugh!”

Chapter 4

Tag List: @lohnes16, @prokey16, @tenaciousperfectionunknown, @teambarnes72, @cjand10

#locked up #prison au #prison #jail #jail au #marvel #marvel au #the avengers #bucky barnes #james bucky buchanan barnes #james bucky barnes #the winter soldier #ransom drysdale #knives out au #knives out

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agentgrange · 2 years ago

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True Rules for Life by Brace Belden and Liz Franczak

Below is a nonexhaustive list of certified life tips offered by Brace Belden and Liz Franczak from the investigative comedy podcast TrueAnon. While generally good advice to live by, I highly recommend the following for any Delta Green agents in the field:

Don't smoke marijuana out of a pen, smoke it out of a pipe or bong. Don't do drugs in concentrate.

If you're pushing through a land reform program of any kind on behalf of the peasantry, push it through very quickly without telling anyone first.

The coalition always fractures.

Always get the Interior Minister position. Do not let anyone else in the coalition get the Interior Minister position. If they do, have a random person assassinate them first before they assassinate you.

Never ride in a helicopter. (Unless you're a door gunner, or getting MEDEVACed.)

A large plane is always safer than a small plane.

Always watch your ratio of officers to enlisted, you don't want too many or too few.

Don't talk about the coup in public, do it day one or just shut the fuck up about it until you do.

If you sentence a guy to death, kill him the next day.

If you fly, don't all fly together.

Never, ever, give up your nukes. If you don't have any, BUILD THEM. If you absolutely have to get rid of them, always keep ONE hid in reserve.

Treaties are fake. NO ONE is maintaining your territorial integrity for you.

Never release political prisoners to placate protestors.

Never let the opposition delay elections.

When someone you know gets really into German runes (or really any kind of runes at all) get them out of your life.

Never trust a South American with a German name. Be careful around any with Italian surnames.

Never move anywhere for a religion, especially South America.

If your affinity group starts any sort of compound, don't move in. Be the guy that works and lives outside the compound. Better yet, become their lawyer or some other type of public facing middleman.

Never go into sewers unless you're a sewer guy. (Molemen, professionals, etc.)

If someone is trying to talk you into committing a crime, assume they're in the FBI.

Never become an FBI informant, they will never let you go. If you do become an informant, record EVERYTHING Nixon style.

Never relinquish your arms-- if you're going to get patted down, hide your first weapon as a decoy weapon. Act like they found your hidden weapon and let them take it, but keep a secondary weapon in an even more elaborately concealed area. If you can, bring a third even smaller even more well hidden weapon in case they find the secondary weapon.

Aim for the eye at point blank. It doesn't matter how small the caliber is, if you shoot someone in the eye they're cooked.

Always get it in writing. Duplicate that writing.

If you keep gambling, you'll eventually win. The long arc of the universe favors the gambler, the house just thinks it can outlast you.

Never talk to cops without a lawyer. You think you know this one, everyone thinks they know this one, but you're gonna forget. You're gonna want to seem helpful or honest and they'll try to sound friendly. It doesn't matter if they're nice to you, they already think you're guilty. That's why you're being arrested or interrogated dumbass.

Pay taxes on crime money. They don't get you for the crime, they always get you for the taxes. Get an accountant.

Never deal with an "explosives expert." If they know what they're doing, they're probably an informant. If they don't, they'll get you all killed. If they know a very specific, seemingly perfect spot to place the C4 they're *definitely* with the FBI.

Always duck if you're getting shot at. Then, shoot the other guy. If you don't have a gun... then you haven't followed the other rules, have you? As a last resort, wait for them to run out of bullets then roll away.

Distractions work, and they're a really good move. Learn the art of distraction. Example-- take your jacket off, throw it over their head, and fucking punch. Or bend down to tie your shoe, then throw pocket sand.

Never let a woman see you play videogames.

Never talk to journalists, they're just like cops. There's no such thing as "off the record."

Don't fuck your roommate.

Always pay your guys on time. Don't try telling them you can pay them later, the moment you admit you don't have the money they're no longer your guys.

Keep your dollars in money.

Don't give up your passport. Take the other guy's passport.

Everybody snitches. Not *us*, I'll never snitch. And I know you're not going to snitch. But you have to treat it like everyone else that you ever did anything with is snitching.

If a guy with an analog camera wants to take your picture, they're trying to have sex with you.

Whenever the FBI foils anything, assume it's fake.

Always shoot first. If you find yourself thinking "am I gonna need to shoot this guy" you probably do, and if you have to shoot someone just do it immediately. Ideally when they aren't looking. Honor is fake.

Under the waste isn't attempted murder. If you shoot someone under the waste, it's legally a warning shot.

Never warn anyone just attack.

Always keep it loaded.

Always keep cool, baby.

#delta green #call of cthulhu #field notes #trueanon #brace belden #liz franczak

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tookishcombeferre · 26 days ago

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Part 2: A War In Enchancia? Is There Just Cause?

Yes. I say this only because, in my estimation, Cedric was kind of right when calling Roland out on "The Day of the Sorcerers." I will extrapolate on this. Roland wasn’t a good king. He was impulsive. He did and does dangerous things. He puts people at risk for not so great reasons. For one, Roland takes absolutely no reasonable accountability for using the Wishing Well to, basically, kill his wife. Granted, I'm sure he did not know that would be the end cause of his wish. I'm sure he was heartbroken over it. Yet, it remains that his impulsivity is dangerous. We also see this in the Wassalia episode, in which, he risks not only his own life over a few extra gifts for his children, but he also puts Baileywick in danger. Baileywick is the steward of their country. He would be the person to advise either Amber or James in Roland's absence should one of the two of them rise to a Regency position in the event of Roland's death. He puts both of them in a situation where they would be incapacitated, and it is one of the greatest acts of political stupidity I've ever witnessed. While Roland may be an outwardly beloved king because, outwardly, he's a loveable doofus. His life style would also indicate that taxes are high as a kite in that Kingdom. Maybe they're a prosperous country (they seem to be), but how much so? Like, sure, you have decent public education. However, you also have your kids turning drinking water into chocolate milk while you galavant off into the forest with your wife to doodle. He doesn't check the blueprints for the infrastructure of his Kingdom before building roads to ensure that he isn't killing off sentient beings.

There were whole hosts of things that Roland I and Roland II should have been looking into in order to avoid harming their sentient magical neighbors. Roland sees leadership as a popularity contest. We see this when he allows space for Miss Nettle, as Sasha the Sorceress, to take over a feast after having just met her because he prizes a good show over knowing a person’s true nature. (Granted that Cedric is claiming to be evil at that point, but Roland still had a longer running relationship with him than Sasha the Sorceress. He was also not planning to do anything actively evil in that episode.) Besides that, Cedric is the one who fixes Roland’s mistake in that case despite the humiliation. On the subject of Cedric, Roland II also permits the continued psychological abuse of one of his staff members by other kingdoms that began under his father. Beginning in the reign of Roland I, when "the Incident" occured, the psychological abuse of a minor was rampantly permitted and encouraged throughout the nobility. While no one was in the room when the two potions were mixed, a through investigation into the actual "scene of the crime" as it were was, apparently, never done. Instead, Enchancia chose to gaslight a 7-9 year old boy into thinking the entire accident was his fault until he was somewhere between 39-41 years old. Atonement for the years of psychological abuse is never shown in the series and the only moment we see of the character in question seeking restitution is seen as a supreme act of villainy as opposed to a legitimate call out of the treatment faced by a screwed up system of bigotry and oppression. What I'm saying is there would be actual reasons psycho-social reasons for Cedric to have overthrown Roland and for it to be completely justified. If we think about what other Disney movies/ shows have said of similar characters and situations, we could fall back on Esmeralda's line about Quasimodo "You saw what those people did out there? To let them torture that poor boy? I thought if just one person could stand up to them ..." (Or something to that effect. I'm paraphrasing.) I fail to see what makes that different, at least, on a CAUSE level. (We'll get into the other parts later. Let me cook.) Additionally, based on what we see from the servants in the show, they are overworked. They only have one assigned day off, all of them together, and they're required to spend it on a picnic with Roland and with each other. Now, granted, I don't know if they can take more time off or not. BUT! We see what happens when Baileywick tries to take time off. The kids keep trying to eat into it. Now, you may claim that Baileywick is just Baileywick and he has free will and the autonomy to say "no." The kids also learn a lesson from this. HOWEVER!! Kids learn from what they see the adults doing, AND their behavior is a precedent set by Roland/ castle norms. Roland does have a tendency to abandon his people and problems when they arise. Finale on the boat? Need I say more? Amber makes a better Queen in the finale and she's what ... twelve? Thirteen? So, based on Enchancian culture from the beginning of Roland the First's rule through the rule of Roland II there would be justification for several different characters to hold an uprising over Roland based on a lack of respect for their dignity as human beings and to their autonomy and their rights as humans.

Part 1|| Part 2|| Part 3 &4 || Part 5 & 6 || Part 7 & 8

#sofia the first #literary criticism #literary analysis #just war theory #what have i released upon the world?#i lit crit-ed a toddler tv show?#this is a long post #like a really long post #pip does life #roland ii #cedric the sorcerer #baileywick #the citizens of enchancia #copious les miz references?#seriously what is this franken-post

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jarviesroy · 7 months ago

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How to Make the Most of Seabrook's Tax Services: Tax Accountant Seabrook

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#Tax Accountant Seabrook #Tax Accountant Wyndham Vale #Tax Accountant Laverton #Tax Accountant Point Cook

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purplerakath · 1 year ago

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What I expect, and don't, from a Scott Pilgrim Season 2

Spoilers for all of the Scott Pilgrim works as I go through various plot points in the comics, and the ending of the first season, into hypothetical expectations if Bryan and BenDavid decide to do another.

What NOT to expect:

Memory Holes

Scott's gaps in memory are a good rug pull to the narration, it allows things we've previously seen to be recontextualized as Scott becomes aware he's not actually the hero. Thing is, Scott already knows this possibility from the end of Season 1 so we don't need it. This isn't a statement of 'no Nega-Scott' but we'll come back to that later.

Kim/Knives

Kim and Knives making out was a tool to set-up a Book 5 plot detail about Kim's relationship with Scott and Ramona. The part of that matters is we need to see Kim isn't straight, and there weren't a ton of female characters who would realistically make out with Kim and weren't busy in another plot. We've done this by having Kim try it out with Roxie, so Kim being bi is established already if they want to do the complicated 'I think I'm in love with either my best friend/ex or his current girlfriend' thing that was a bit of Kim's character. We also don't need to fish for 'reasons Knives is still around' she's in the band now, she's good.

The Glow

This is more of a 'that needed foreshadowing that isn't there' thing and we didn't foreshadow it so it probably isn't there. Ramona got her plot forward and her baggage detonation so it's not super useful anymore.

The Powers of Love, Self-Respect, and/or Understanding

So they could do these plot beats, but I don't think the swords work here. See, the swords work as a perfectly solid 'Scott leveled up' visual by making him cooler. And it plays even better in the movie because of how sword fights film vs. fistfights. Thing is, it's still saying that all 'understanding who you are' or 'respecting yourself and your needs' or 'being in love' is good for is stabbing people? It really feels hollow. Especially compared to Ramona's self-acceptance being 'turn into a God temporarily.' So if Scott gains any of those titles, it won't just be a sword.

Okay now that I've gone through a bunch of stuff I don't see coming up. I'm listing them as 'options' less because any two are mutually exclusive but all four cannot be done together.

Option One: Scott Gets a Life

So Scott didn't get to do most of his character growy things on account of him being dead for Tax Purposes. So he's still a useless mooch without a job, or anything to do other than play music. This isn't necessarily bad, but it is something they have to do something with. First is to do battle of the bands, lean all in on Sex Bob-Omb and the music going forward as the endgame to solve that Kim is also jobless. It isn't terribly grounded (but it could be very pretty visually), so I'm not super sold on it but it isn't off the table. They can also lean into 'Scott can cook' and do his cooking chef route from the books. This is more grounded and also can be visually pretty if done right. They can also do all manner of other job routes for Scott especially if the joke about job class systems because video games!

Option Two: Gideon is Still Evil™

So when Matthew was running from Gideon in G-Man Media's Headquarters he ran into a vault he couldn't blast through. That probably has even cryopods with six occupants. Because Gideon is still the worst. And 'but he's Gordon now' or 'but he has Julie now' are both not answers to the fact that Gideon is meant to be an incarnation of everything Scott could become. Notably Gideon didn't do any of his cool things™ from either book or movie in Season 1. Gideon still punishes women who betray him and Julie hates Scott. Gideon frames his revenge as making Scott suffer it is the perfect in-road to go after Ramona. Putting Julie in the Envy spot from Book 6. Which is even better because the betrayal will feel stronger since Gideon seems to like Julie sincerely.

Option Three: Scott's Ex Quest

So Scott has three significant ex girlfriends to dive in on. (I'm not counting Knives as- well, S1 actually resolved Knives pretty well?) And working through how Scott hurt them, and how they hurt him, and how it changed him would be a good avenue to do his character growth. It's honestly some of the stronger elements of the book looking right at Scott's past sincerely. This is the closest we get to retelling the books, but the twist is probably in execution, or in who else is involved. As all of Ramona's Exes being around and not-evil means we have new in-roads to character development.

Option Four: Nega-Scott/Future Scott

Scott is aware that he could be the problem, that awareness and vigilance makes the book version of Nega-Scott hard to work. The Shadow-Link attacking from nowhere just won't cut it. But we can do a similar thing with his awareness of the potential, a manifestation of his fears. Because this is a Rule of Cool series Scott's Fears becoming a monster makes as much sense as anything. So Scott just occasionally seeing/fighting an EvilRyu!Scott who shows up whenever Scott is especially anxious is entirely acceptable. This especially works if the central theme of the series is Scott trying to become more mature and responsible, having this evil manbaby hunting him represents that nicely.

#Scott Pilgrim Takes Off #Scott Pilgrim Spoilers #Scott Pilgrim #In all scenarios Ramona is P2 for Scott's plot #maybe not the Battle of the Bands #but she can't just be written out of things now that she's the show's main character #I was very good and didn't suggest Scott/Ramona/Kim endgame #but I wanted to #because that's the kind of trash I am #I wanted an avenue to add Mr. Chau but couldn't find one #he's just really cool and I am sad he can't menace Scott with this version #Knives is adorable and should have more screentime

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pretensesoup · 2 years ago

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How to Publish a Book, pt 1

I told @tryxyhijinks I was gonna turn this into a shitpost, so here we go: how to publish an ebook in ten easy steps.

Write the book. This is, believe it or not, the fun part.

Edit the book. Slightly less easy, but you have to do this, no matter what anyone else has told you about "minimum viable product" or what have you. You can force your friends to read it, you can have a program read it aloud to you, you can read it backwards, you can hire someone to line edit your work, you can do some or most of the above, just get it edited. (Additional point: when hiring a professional, if you're happy with the plot, ask for line or copyediting; if you're not sure about plot points, ask for developmental editing; if you just need guidance, you may want to start with an editorial letter.)

Get a cover. You can make one yourself or pay someone to do it. You're going to want it to be about 1600x2500 pixels and 72 dpi. It's good to have a really nice cover, because covers sell books.

Typeset the book. I use Atticus to create an epub file. If you are also doing a print version or you are a control freak, I recommend it. Vellum and Reedsy are about the same, I think. If you have a lot of illustrations--big ones, I mean, not just an author photo--you should beg, borrow, or steal a copy of InDesign. You can use Calibre to compress your output epub file if you want to make sure you earn every available penny. However, my book is 6mb and it is about 8 cents to download. Also, if you're trying to do this on the cheap, you really can just do it in Word. The layout won't be as fancy, but you can do it. (Layout granularity, from least to most granular, is probably Word->Atticus->InDesign.)

If you want to publish under a press name that is not your name, you will need to start a business. Laws around taxes and registration may vary depending on where you are, but in general, you will want to register your name with your state or county registrar (for me, this cost $30 and I had to get a piece of paper notarized). Then you can get a business checking account (for me this part was free--I went through the bank I already have accounts with). In the US, sole proprietorships like this are taxed as pass-through entities, so you will pay personal income taxes on whatever money you make, but you don't have to pay corporate income taxes. If you are publishing books that could possibly get you sued (e.g., The Big Book of Welding While Juggling or Now You're Cooking with Napalm) you may want to form an LLC. Talk to a lawyer.

Open a KDP account. If you hate the Zon and want to only publish somewhere else (Apple Books, Kobo, Barnes and Noble, Smashwords, whatever), that's fine--the process is about the same. If you think you previously had a KDP account and then didn't use it, search your emails etc. to try to find out, because if they figure that out, they'll close both accounts and then you won't get paid.

Add your new title to the catalog (you will need to add metadata, like your name, series name if there is one, and a description of the book) and set the prices. Unless your book is super big, you'll probably earn more if you select the 70% option. For some reason, I changed a few of the prices. If you're planning to publish on several platforms, I don't recommend this--just set your price in one place and then let it convert those. Otherwise, you'll have to reinput everything over and over, because it's in the terms of service that you need to price things the same on Kobo as you do on Amazon (and so on).

Set the day of publication and tell people about it. Like your mom. Your weird aunt who's always so supportive. Your friend who has been listening to you bitch about how hard writing is for the past six months.

???

Profit.

Q: Hey, I want my book in several online stores, not just Amazon.

A: You have a few options. Draft2Digital/Smashwords and IngramSpark both distribute digitally to various places so you only have to set things up once. But they take a cut of the profit for this service. You can also set up independent accounts with each store and upload your stuff.

Q: What happens in step 9?

A: You know. Meet other indie writers and try to gain their trust. Read a lot. Work on the sequel. Get some sleep, because deadlines are exhausting, even self-imposed ones. Learn about advertising. That sort of thing.

Next time, I'll do the paper side of things.

#selfpublishing #self publishing #indie authors #indie publishing #how to #how to publish a book

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nikaidou-stan · 2 years ago

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What job i think the characters would have if they werent shogi players/confectioners/whatever

rei gets some fuckass boring 9-5 job (like an accountant lmao) but he ends up being the office floormat and having to do everything nobody ever wants to do like making coffee and emptying ashtrays. every day he wakes up and prays to a picture of the narrator from fight club his office explodes and his boss goes to hell. amen

nikaidou is filthy rich so he doesn't need a job, but he starts working some minimum-wage job for shits and giggles just to get fired two days later bc he talks too much with the costumers and never gets anything done. he never brings it up again

hina's done literally every part-time job you can think of, from scrubbing floors at the nearest cafè to doing story time for kids at the local library to delivering journals at 5:30 am; she does tarot readings for her classmates as well

akari's in the same situation as hina but worse; it'd be really funny if she was like, floormat #2 in rei's office, but at least she gets treated slightly better bc of her good looks. in her free time (so never) she volunteers at a nursing home, she now has an entire mob of grannies and grandpas who shower her in little gifts and compliments everytime she comes around (also she's become a god at knitting and she's a loyal soldier in the feud against a rival knitting club)

shimada is (obviously) the dilf literature teacher everybody's got a crush on, not because he's hot (he is but thats not the point) but because he treats his students equally and with respect. he's had more than one of his pupils confide that they see him as a father figure (he's also one of those teachers who fully bend over the desk of whoever they're helping, like cmon stop being a whore for one minute)

shigeta works as the mascot of the local chuck e cheese and hates every minute of it

kyouko also canonically takes lots of odd jobs, so i've made a list bc i love lists ok dont judge me

mcdonalds cashier, fired for calling a customer's child "little cunt"(to this date nobody knows what the child said/did to elicit such a reaction)

auctioneer at a local farming fair, she sold a horse once and hasn't stopped laughing since

somehow she joined akari's rival knitting circle to start drama

social media manager for some random celebrity, fired for defamation against said celebrity's colleagues (she probably ruined a few friendships but who cares lmao)

being a hater is a full-time job, what more would you want from her

matsumoto is a line cook for a restaurant that's a front for the mob. he is also in one of akari's knitting circles. he does everyone's taxes as well. no one knows how he is capable of this, but everything always checks out and they just wouldn't have done it otherwise so. whatever

gotou's full-time job is calling rei a faggot on facebook using burner profiles

#this was so fun lmao #if anybody's got more headcanons feel free to add #march comes in like a lion #sangatsu no lion #3 gatsu no lion

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berniesrevolution · 2 years ago

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PEOPLE’S POLICY PROJECT

by Kendall Dix

The Flint, Michigan, water crisis has dramatically illustrated poor people’s lack of access to clean drinking water in the United States. But beyond lead contamination, there are more ways this country denies people that basic human right. The inability to pay water bills has become a significant problem for poor people.

Even before the COVID-19 pandemic and accompanying economic downturn, an estimated 1 out of every 20 households, or about 15 million people, had their water turned off at some point during the year because of nonpayment.1 In New Orleans, more than 75 percent of low-income residents have water bills that industry analysts say are unaffordable.2 During the pandemic, an estimated 9,052 people died as a result of water shut-offs.3

Like all issues related to poverty, the problem of water affordability disproportionately harms Black people, making this a racial justice issue.4 The amount of household income spent on water is more than twice as high in majority Black cities as majority white cities.5

Most water for bathing, cooking, and drinking in the United States is provided by utilities, about 80 percent of which are publicly owned.6 Water utilities are funded by a combination of government money, user fees, municipal bonds, and private loans.7 Though household fees are often thought to discourage overuse, data show that demand for water is relatively fixed, and raising prices produces little reduction in usage.8 Furthermore, residential water use accounts for just 8.2 percent of overall water usage in the United States.9

The most effective and equitable solution to the affordability problem is to eliminate residential fees and simply fund water utilities entirely with progressive taxation. If governments are interested in reducing overall water consumption, there are a variety of other options such as physical infrastructure that limits the amount of water that flows through fixtures, water recycling, or limiting the largest users of water, which are farms and industrial facilities.

Two related, but distinct, problems characterize the term “water affordability”:

Poverty.

Many people in the United States have low amounts of income and no or negative wealth. This makes it difficult for them to afford their household expenses, including rent, food, and water utility bills.10 In addition to their inability to pay, poor people who have bad credit scores are often seen as risks to utilities, which force them to pay high deposits or sometimes even deny them water service altogether.11

(“Older Housing In The Black Community On Chicago's West Side.” U.S. National Archives / EPA. “Old Cars Serve as Water-Break on Navajo Reservation.” U.S. National Archives / EPA.)

Public Disinvestment.

Despite overall water consumption decreasing,12 people’s water bills are getting more expensive, in part because of decades of federal disinvestment from public infrastructure. Federal spending on water has dropped steadily since the 1980s.13 Utilities’ costs have risen, in part because of climate change,14 and those costs are passed on to the public through increasing rates.15 Private utilities, which serve about 20 percent of the population, exist to make a profit and have higher water rates than public utilities.16 As federal spending on water has fallen, private water utilities have been on the rise. From 2010 through 2020, just 12 large, for-profit water companies acquired 353 water utilities at a total cost of about $5.8 billion.17

Water rates function as consumption taxes that fund infrastructure projects, much like gasoline taxes help fund highway maintenance and construction.18 In theory, these taxes can be used to influence consumer behavior to decrease usage. In practice, households largely cannot and do not respond to increased water rates by reducing consumption.19 Replacing water bills with more progressive sources of funding would increase access and improve the income distribution without causing overuse.

Eliminating water bills not only ensures universal access for those with housing, it also lowers utilities’ costs by reducing the need for billing and collections staff. Fees and rates alone cannot maintain our water system; only about 17 percent of utilities say they can maintain existing service without additional funding sources.20

(“Public Playground on the Charles River, near Soldiers Field Road.” U.S. National Archives / EPA.)

Water utility costs can be broken down into two broad categories:

At present, capital expenses are often covered by loans taken out by utilities and repaid by the fees collected from water users. The main federal funding mechanism for drinking water is the State Revolving Loan Fund (SRLF), which provides low-interest loans to utilities. The SRLF provides useful financing for utilities across the country, but many smaller utilities struggle to pay those loans, and some states struggle to provide the required matching funds.

Water infrastructure did not always depend so heavily on loans. In the 1970s and early 1980s, the federal government provided significant grant money to water utilities. There are still a number of federal grant programs, including Water Infrastructure Improvements for the Nation Act (WIIN), Public Water System Supervision (PWSS), Tribal Public Water System Supervision, and Training and Technical Assistance for Small Systems.21

Congress should revive this approach and replace water infrastructure loans with grants. This would ensure that all utilities can afford to build out and maintain necessary infrastructure as well as eliminate the water rates that are used to directly or indirectly finance capital expenses.

Water utilities’ day-to-day expenses are currently distributed down to users through water bills. Replacing these charges with more progressive taxes would allow for the total elimination of residential water bills and result in a more equal distribution of income and consumption. Any level of government could do this. Municipalities could use property taxes to eliminate user charges, states could use state income or sales taxes, and the federal government could use the federal income tax. But if equality is the goal, it is worth noting that the federal tax system is currently much more progressive than state tax systems.22

This is not a new idea. Ireland does not charge residents for water and an effort to introduce charges in 2014 led to such immense backlash that the government scrapped them two years later.23 Some US cities have already begun experimenting with progressive water billing. For example, Philadelphia offers income-based water rates for those whose income is below 150 percent of the federal poverty line.24 Though this is good because it caps the amount any one household pays for its water bill, only households that apply are enrolled in the program. There are poor households that would qualify but are not receiving the benefit because they haven’t filled out the paperwork. Eliminating rates and fees altogether would be more effective.

(Continue Reading)

#politics #the left #peoples policy project #water #economic inequality #poverty #infrastructure #progressive #progressive movement #social democracy #democratic socialism #socialism #capitalism #economics #long post #long reads

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