#Tallahassee

[fuzzlespup]

TALLAHASSEE MENTIONED!!!!!!!

"Interstellar Guide to the Planet Earth" by TJ Klune

By the end of this guide, you will have been given the tools in order to safely and carefully visit Earth. If you should have further questions, please see Glorbak the Destroyer of Worlds, who will be happy to answer any inquiries you may have.

Remember: Exploration is the key to survival!

1.   You meant to travel to the HUMAN LAND OF DEARBORNE MICHIGAN, but because of the bending of space and time, you accidentally ended up in the dark place known as TALLAHASEE FLORIDA. Do not fret! Though Florida is considered an area where dreams go to die (also see THE HUMAN LAND OF TEXAS), there are many wonderful things to discover, such as bugs, humidity, reptiles and HUMANS called JESSICA who chew loudly while running a business called a NAIL SALON. This is used to sharpen the talons of humans, and to paint them different colors. Though not much is known about this tradition, it is thought that it grants powers to the HUMANS who visit this establishment.

2.   Oh no! While exploring the HUMAN LAND OF NORTH YORKSHIRE ENGLAND, you happen to see a GREY disguised as a chimney sweep. As you are well aware, GREYS are an odious species whose entire way of life is built around anal probing. Though we have a treaty with the GREYS, it is important to remember that anal probing does not provide any scientific and/or medical knowledge. Given that the GREYS have the technology to do non-invasive full body scans, it’s unknown why they continue to proceed through the back entrance. If you come across a GREY preparing to do just that, please remind them that it is against RULE 5#$7^45J to proceed with anal probing without the expressed permission of the one being probed. Consent is important no matter what part of the universe you are in!

"Interstellar Guide to the Planet Earth" by TJ Klune

3.   HUMAN HOLES. Though it may seem disgusting to an elevated species, HUMANS evolved to have multiple holes in their bodies. Do not be scared! These are imperative to their survival. We have already discussed one hole (the anus), but did you know that humans have several more? The most diabolical is the hole in the top parts of their bodies, otherwise known as a MOUTH. Inside the MOUTH is a wet piece of muscle surrounded by shards of bone that pierce through the flesh. This is, as far as we can tell, a “feeding hole”, the bones used to break up sustenance, and the muscle inside swirls it around. In addition, there are glands in the MOUTH HOLE that create lubrication. It is unknown if this lubricant is poisonous. If you should see a HUMAN leaking lubricant from its MOUTH HOLE, it is either a) hungry or b) getting ready to attack. One line of thought is that the lubrication allows HUMANS to breathe fire, though no evidence of this has been noted.

4.   Most HUMANS have communication devices they carry around with them at all times. Interestingly, these devices seem to have an unintended consequence: not one of them could survive without it. If, on the off chance, you find yourself surrounded by a mob of HUMANS CARRYING TORCHES AND PITCHFORKS, tell them you are going to take their communication devices away. Most likely, they will crumble and dissolve into LEAKING LUBRICANT FROM THEIR EYE HOLES, begging you not to do what you said. Some have suggested that the HUMAN’S life forces are tethered to these devices, and if they are taken away, there is a chance the HUMANS will turn feral.

5.   And finally, the most important: DO NOT ASK HUMANS WHO THEY VOTED FOR. On Earth, people “choose” their leaders on a special day filled with love and celebration and good feelings. However, the HUMANS elected are oft considered “really bad at their job” and “unable to speak in coherent sentences.” In a fascinating turn of events, the HUMANS appear to be rare creatures who are somewhat advanced, but also continually make terrible decisions just because they’re mad about certain things that have no basis in reality. If you do make the mistake of asking a HUMAN who they voted for, chances are you will be stuck in a conversation that will last as long as the life of a star. The only way to get out of said conversation is to announce you voted for the other leader running in the election. This will most likely incense the speaker to say things like, “DAMN YOU, YOU DON’T CARE ABOUT ANYTHING BUT YOURSELF” before leaving. Congratulations, you survived an encounter!

[ihavealavalamp]

Game Shows Touch Our Lives, The Mountain Goats [x]

[yodaprod]

Computer classroom at Tallahassee Community College, Tallahassee, FL (1985)

[asexual-juliet]

band of brothers 1.06: “bastogne” / international small arms traffic blues by the mountain goats

[the-jedi-ninja]

Tallahassee by the Mountain Goats named as #108 on Rolling Stone's top 250 albums of the 21st century!

[v-3-rdure]

and i hope you die

[tribute to my fav song (and album) of all time that always makes me feel like shit]

[fruitpunchnoice]

[fifi-apa]

No Children - The Mountain Goats

[tmglineaday]

Our house sinking into disrepair, ah, but look at this showroom, filled with fabulous prizes

[attention-all-pickpockets]

i may have said something about this before but like. it sometimes irks me when people only know the 3 songs popularized by moral orel. this is coming from someone who was literally introduced to what is now my favorite band ever through moral orel. i think those 3 songs are spectacular and beautiful and such perfect choices for the show and it makes me happy that people have been introduced to such an incredible band through such an incredible show.

but when i say it irks me that people only know these 3 songs, this isn't because i think they are "fake fans" or because i am trying to gatekeep the mountain goats.

i say it irks me because there are 33 years worth of beautiful songs and incredibly profound pieces of poetry that i wish more people knew!!! i WANT people to listen to more of the mountain goats!! if you found out about tmg through moral orel and really liked the songs used in the show, i implore you to use that as a stepping stone towards the rest of their discography because it is truly so life-changing. also, there are so many songs that weren't used in the show that i almost forget weren't included because of how perfectly they match up with the themes in moral orel and i have a whole playlist of songs that remind me of the show other than no children, love love love, and old college try.

anyways. tldr. if you discovered the mountain goats through moral orel, i think you should try getting into more of their music!!! this beauty deserves to be spread to other people, especially those who enjoyed the amazing work of art that is moral orel.

[jennyfromthebes]

i have a lot of favorite live alt lyrics but one that never fails to gut me is "when we never make it back to california i want you to know i love you". they know they aren't making it back! it's not a question and they can't pretend that that possibility is still lingering because it's not! oh to see exactly where your road ends. to stare down the happy ending that you can no longer lie to yourself about the possibility of. you can't go back. whatever there was, you can't go back.

[octag0nall]

thinkin about this annotation from i am cold by bears in trees

and this lyric from game shows touch our lives by the mountain goats

ouch or whatever

[ihavealavalamp]

Have to Explode, The Mountain Goats [x]

[the-apparatus]

I'm actually kind of heartbroken over Peter Hughes leaving the mountain goats. Obviously I support his decision and want him to do whatever is best for him, but still.

He was such a major part of me getting into playing bass and writing music and I love his energy so much. I feel so grateful to have gotten to see him perform multiple times. I remember the first time I saw them perform, in 2021 at The Gothic in Englewood Colorado and I distinctly remember when the bass for Tallahassee hit and it was genuinely a life changing moment for me.

I have so much love for this man and I hope the world has good things in store for him.

Peter, I hope you love your life and I hope life loves you back.

<3

[recycledmoviecostumes]

Often a television show will recycle their wardrobe on other characters as the seasons progress. This example comes from the television show ��𝒏𝒄𝒆 𝑼𝒑𝒐𝒏 𝒂 𝑻𝒊𝒎𝒆, in which a white floral dress was used in 2011 in the first season episode entitled 𝑺𝒏𝒐𝒘 𝑭𝒂𝒍𝒍𝒔. Ginnifer Goodwin wore it as Mary Margaret Blanchard. The second time the dress was used was by Jennifer Morrison as Emma Swan in the 2012 second season episode 𝑻𝒂𝒍𝒍𝒂𝒉𝒂𝒔𝒔𝒆𝒆.   Visit our website to see more costumes from Once Upon a Time: Bit.ly/PostEd100      

[arctiidaes]

i want to study at a mountain goats university

i will spell marriage as divorce and use a 1967 colt .45. i would watch a black and white TV, in the middle of the night while drinking bartles and jaymes with my ex-wife. i'll have golden boy peanuts every day that's worth $6.95. i would dash up stairs to take cover every night. i am also more likely to meet Jenny, Cyrus and Jeff, and the Alpha Couple.

i wish i was mountain goats :(