#Take a shot everytime i say his name lmao

[musicals-and-mushrooms]

so ive been having a bit of a hyperfixation/celebrity crush on david tennant lately if you couldnt tell, and as a teenage girl i feel this is pretty normal. But i was talking to my dad about david tennant bc ifc and he starts going like oh its not good to be a homewrecker and stuff...

THIS GUY THOUGHT I WAS LEGITIMATELY SERIOUSLY GOING TO TRY TO MARRY DAVID TENNANT

HE IS OLDER THAN YOU I JUST THINK HES A GOOD LOOKING ACTOR WHO IS IN SHOWS IM OBSESSING OVER

Anyways yeah thats my day im gonna go rewatch tlovm because i found out david tennant was in it

[jensthwa]

we can't be friends (CS x reader).

part of the love's an uncharted path universe ★.

SUMMARY:

San is your first love. He broke your heart and played with your feelings without even kissing you back when you two were in highschool. Now, many years later, you do your best to avoid crossing paths with him because there's just no way you could ever hate him, but there's also no way you two can be friends again. But his best friend is also one of your best friends, so there's only so much you can do to avoid San when he arranges a dinner you're forced to go to.

PAIRING: first love!choi san x afab reader.

GENRE: one shot (fluff, angst, smut)

WORD COUNT: 20k (yikes).

WARNINGS: SMUT ☽ (MINORS DNI) attempt !!! at comedy, unnecesary pinning, a looot of context, bad friends :(, some arguing, tension, drinking and drunk behavior, tears, making out, description of female anatomy, oral (f reciving), fingering, love making, pet names (babe, baby), flirty seonghwa, wooyoung being a little shit again but also a genius, gyuri almost commiting a crime.

NOTES: hi everyone! this is a lenghty one, i know, but trust me when I say the context is necessary to understand what reader goes through with san. also, some of this may or may not have happened to me (have fun figuring out which part) (it's quite obvious tbh). THIS IS PART OF THE SHOW AND TELL UNIVERSE BUT CAN BE READ AS A STAND ALONE, even though there's some references and characters that you can only know if you read s&t lol. this is 100% self indulgent, as all fics should be, and i think i've re-read it so many times that if you find a typo or something that just doesn't make sense, you can blame it on english not being my first language i guess lmao. i hope you enjoy it and if you do feel free to send/reblog/type in any feedback or thoughts! <3

POSTED: august 06 2024.

permanent taglist: @hotteokkay, @potatomountain, @fairylover68

masterlist.

You and Choi San go way back. 

Well, it's nine years way back? You were only fourteen when you first saw him. 

He moved back to your area of the city a year after you moved from an entirely different one. You thought you knew every school secret there ever was, provided by your new best friend, Gyuri, but she didn't tell you about him at all. 

She claimed that it was because he didn't cause any stir the years they studied together before and after spending a whole first period in your eighth grade classroom with him at the back of the class, silently taking notes, you couldn't phantom why.

He was great at every subject, seemed to have a lot of popular friends and was, overall, a pretty nice guy. He was also very cute, skinny but you could tell he was the kind of guy who played a sport outside of school hours and he had a cute pair of dimples that showed everytime you scanned the classroom just to lay eyes on him. 

Choi San was a perfect boy to crush on, even a perfect guy just to have as eye candy during recess. You felt really strongly about him, not really forming a full opinion although your gut told you right away you were right. There was something about him… but you only figured that something until later, next year, starting your ninth grade. 

Gyuri and you were avid readers. Precocious girls, with minds way above your age. All your teachers praised came laced with the same compliment so you both decided that was the truth. You rejoiced in it, thinking you shared things in common with the grown ups and decided that that was the key to feeling a little superior in comparison to the rest of your classmates, who neither of you liked very much. 

Until they all decided to start dating each other and you two realized you were nothing but two kids with great imaginations and a love for school, praise and fictional men that couldn't be translated to the real world without sounding delusional and weird. 

So you decided to do something about it. And so, on a random Tuesday recess, you two scanned the crowd trying to find two boys (or a boy and a girl, because you always knew you liked girls too) worthy of your affections. One for her, one for you. Bonus points if the two of them were also best friends, of course. 

Double dates were all the buzz at the time anyways. 

Besides, only then they could understand the bond you and Gyuri had. Sisterhood like no other, nevermind Gyuri actually had an older sister and a niece at the ripe age of fifteen. 

And so when your index finger scanned the crowd and eliminated at least three potential crushes before landing on Choi San, you felt like it was meant to be. 

You see, his best friend, Jung Wooyoung, was perfect for Gyuri to crush on. He was almost as tall as she was at the time and his easy, outgoing personality was compatible with her book crush at the time as well. 

He also flirted with her on several occasions before that. 

So it was meant to be. 

Choi San, on the other hand, had never even glanced in your direction before. 

Just like your book crush did before he fell in love with the main character. 

See? Meant. To. Be. 

It was decided then that, although Choi San was not going to be your first crush ever, he was going to be the guy that motivated you to be at school for the time being, because math gets really boring after trying and failing at least ten times. 

You thought nothing of it when it felt a little forced, when you couldn't blush at all at the sight of him and you gathered that it didn't need to happen like in the books you read. You simply needed to say his name when someone asked you if you had a crush on anyone and that was enough to be in symphony with the rest of your classmates. 

Your longing glances were caught once or twice by him and you brushed the weird flip your stomach did everytime he looked away, blushing a little. You never really cared when it happened, really, knowing his crowd and your crowd (Gyuri and you) would never even cross paths in the first place. 

You two kept to yourselves and your little book unofficial book club, sitting on the floor at lunch time and cursing everyone who dared to call you weird for it. San and Wooyoung had a crowd of people at the loudest table laughing with them over stupid teen jokes and, uh, sports? You didn't even know. 

And then the unimaginable happened. 

Jung Wooyoung sat down, criss cross applesauce and everything, in front of you on a random Monday afternoon while you and Gyuri discussed the english assignment due next period. 

Gyuri was not too excited about that. 

Turns out, the only one excited to have a crush at school was you. She was very much still in the Lonely Hearts Club phase while you skipped all the way to your The Notebook phase and she was, in her own words, too afraid to admit it when you came up with your crush plan. 

You forgave her, of course, and decided to wait for her as long as needed because you were certainly not about to be an individual and have a crush on your own. 

And by the time Wooyoung smiled at you both and introduced himself to you, like you weren't in the same class for a year already, you thought your pretend crush on his best friend evaporated and joined the void superficial and fleeting interests you had. 

But then Choi San sat beside him, his knee brushing against yours in the process, and you knew you would have to issue a formal apology to your best and only friend for leaving her behind on this little thing. 

Because, oh boy, were you crushing on Choi San. 

You felt the blush rush to your cheeks and then fell silent while your friend and his friend discussed Fifty Shades of Grey for some reason you never cared enough to discover and you knew you were done for.

It was the first time seeing his dimples in full action, so close to you, so you completely stopped functioning all together. Amazing. 

When you decided to have a crush, you never took into account that you were, actually, quite shy. And he really wasn't, but you noticed that he knew when to talk and what to say and with your friend being a lot more outgoing that you were it gave you the comfort that she would speak for the both of you while you admired from the sidelines as your little duo became a group of friends you still miss deeply to this day. 

He was funny and you laughed at your jokes even though you pretended to be tired and completely worn out by the school day, resting your head on Gyuri’s shoulder and stealing glances at the boy while she kept arguing with his best friend. 

Wooyoung was popular and liked enough to have a few people sit with you later that week, people who never even knew you existed before that. They were good friends with San as well, so you tried your best to keep up with everyone until she sat down next to you one day. 

Arin was not really a bad person. She just was a bit conceited, calling herself princess type of conceited and you never really related to her even if she was nice to you to your face. She was absolutely gorgeous and, you found out with Wooyoung’s arm around your shoulder and a whisper to your ear, she had been San’s crush since they were both in elementary school. 

That would explain the sudden tension at the table when she sat down next to you, said hello to everyone, offered you a sweet she just bought from the cafeteria, and stared at San for the remainder of lunch time. 

You also noticed Wooyoung glaring at her a little and he later explained to you that he didn't really like her all that much. She loved attention and San gave her attention, so she would intentionally flirt with him to get her ego stroked in return. 

It didn't really matter how he felt about the girl, though, he didn't have to like her just because his best friend did. And when you caught her batting her eyelashes at San, you knew you didn't even stand a chance.

You tried to hide the disappointed look on your face but both Gyuri and Wooyoung looked at you while the two of them flirted endlessly for the remainder of lunch time and you figured you were doing a pretty shitty job at it. He didn't glance at you once either way, so it didn't really matter. 

Arin did but she just complimented your eyes and then started a conversation with someone across the table, her annoying sweet and fake voice making your right ear ring in disapproval. 

Either way, you ended up becoming her friend. Gyuri was not very fond of her and neither were you, but you all went to the bathroom together, did your makeup together, did school projects together and then sat everyday at lunch together with the rest of the guys who were, in one way or another, trying to get her to like them. 

Because, once again, she was a sight for sore eyes. 

It wasn't until later, in the middle of the year, that one of them did. Not Choi San, but Choi Yeonjun. 

You remember the day you found out they were together and the gut wrenching concern you felt when you found out that San was not at school that day. 

It was after summer break, you remember Wooyoung telling you that San and his family took a few more days of vacation and if you couldn't believe your eyes when you saw the new couple sharing a sweet kiss at the designated lunch table, you could only imagine how San felt the next day when he saw the same image right in front of him. 

Yeonjun was his friend, right? He knew about his crush and decided to get together with her anyways. Surely, San was devastated. 

But he wasn't. He just cheered them on and then laughed along when Yeonjun shoved his arm playfully after the hollering. 

But you saw through it. 

Your crush on San made you observant. Made you believe you knew him better than everyone else and so, after lunch, you took out your phone and pulled up the notes app. Writing a simple “are you okay?” in it and passing it to him the next second, you were surprised with yourself before you saw him frown a bit. And then he understood what you meant. 

Nodding, he passed you the phone back, before giving you a reassuring smile that you treasured in your heart and saw in your dreams. 

You didn't believe him, though, but stayed close enough to everything related to the situation to hold Arin in your arms when Yeonjun inevitably broke her heart. 

Starting your tenth year, he moved back to his city and decided to play the I thought we weren't even that serious card on her. Which was nasty, considering love it's very, very serious for a sixteen year old girl. 

By this point, you were all a little family and hanging out after school and on the weekends was not unusual, so it didn't surprise you when Arin invited you, and only you, to her house after choir practice on a Thursday. 

She lent you her older sister’s clothes to wear (because her's would never fit you. Her words, not yours) and took you to a walk in the park just to break your heart for the first time ever. 

“You know… I thought love was something I couldn't find in highschool anymore. But San it's really making an effort, you know? He's been there for me ever since Yeonjun left and… Well, I think he's going to ask me to be his girlfriend tomorrow.” 

Grasping the park bench she forced you to sit at, you only nodded and let out a shuddering breath that gave away what she was trying to figure out since earlier that day. 

“I'll say yes but only if you say it's okay to do so.” 

Arin was not really your friend, the same way Yeonjun was not really San’s friend. 

Because there's no way you would ever be okay with it. 

And yet, you tried your best to give her a smile and pretend the sound of your heart breaking didn't bring tears to your eyes “Of course it's okay. Why wouldn't it be?” 

A week later, they were officially dating. The rumors spread around like a wildfire and it took out of you with everyone calling San a nasty rebound and you doing your best to prioritize the ghost of the friendship you had with him. That whole fiasco lasted a few months. 

Months in which your friendship with everyone just grew stronger. Gyuri was still your best friend, Wooyoung was crushing on her hard and everyone knew, Arin and San were a steady couple, a new girl joined your class that year, named Yeri, and the principal assigned her to you because she thought you two would get along really well. 

“I like girls,” was like, the third thing she ever told you while you were showing her the school “I'm just telling you now because I don't plan on hiding it and you are wearing a pride pin.” 

“Oh, that's cool. I like girls too,” you smiled, looking at your pride pin “I didn't hide it either and no one gave me shit about it, so, don't worry.” 

Yeri also liked the mainstream music that you liked and soon she became a new addition to your group. And with Arin spending all of her free time with San, you, Gyuri and Yeri only grew closer and closer. You didn't have Arin’s voice in your ear telling you the million reasons she found Yeri uncool, but you saw it in her face every time the table laughed at one of Yeri’s jokes. 

And so, it went on for a while: 

Your mom driving all of you around in her car to the beach, to dinner, to the movies and letting you have mixed sleepovers at your house (meaning you, Arin, Gyuri, Wooyoung, Yeri and San) was fun and all, but it was not enough to distract yourself entirely. Everytime you glanced at the couple, that sinking feeling in your chest would appear and sulk your whole mood for, at least, fifteen minutes.  

Fifteen minutes of pretending you were okay with them before forgetting completely for an hour or so and then the cycle would repeat until you were alone staring at the ceiling and doing your best to not cry about it.

All it took was your first kiss being Yeri of all people for you to decide that it was time to retire your crush for Choi San once and for all. 

And for a while, it all went according to plan. You decided to tell Gyuri that it was okay because he was your friend first and the guy that you liked second and that you were not fourteen and desperate for love anymore, that it was time to go on with your life as if nothing really happened in the first place. 

You were hooking up with Yeri anyways, so it seemed like you were doing just fine. 

You grew closer to San as well and even though he mostly talked to you about Arin and whatever tantrum she was throwing at the time, you really started to feel some sense of normalcy within you when it came to just speaking to him. 

You no longer blushed when he made you laugh, you no longer looked at him with the longing of a past life lover and you were really happy for him because, at the end of the day, he was really happy with his relationship. 

Until winter break came around and Arin decided to give San his first heartbreak ever. 

She decided to call for a break in their relationship because she was, in his words, too overwhelmed with the amount of love and attention she was getting from him. 

Which was completely fucking insane considering the fact she forced him to save her contact as Princess Arin and all. 

So naturally, you sided with him. And she didn't take it to heart because everyone knew you liked San anyways. 

She told you the news herself through Facebook after asking you to explain to her the English assignment due next day and then she decided to tell you something you'll never understand because you no longer are on speaking terms with her: 

Princess Arin: u know i broke up with him because of u right? :) 

Princess Arin: one day I'll tell u all abt it. 

She never told you anything about it. And by then, you were starting your last year and San was your best friend who hung out with you everyday after school, calling you late at night and helping you with assignments through Skype. So you didn't really care. 

And as the day passed, you started understanding the connection they talked about in books and movies. You thought you did before, Gyuri being your eternal person in this world, but it felt so different with San. 

Different and good. Different and achy enough for you to want to keep it in your life. 

Your dynamic was friendly, sure, but it was alright. It consisted of banter and daring stares as well as laughter and soft moments you treasured till this day. 

“It's way too early to be this annoying, Choi San.” 

“Oh, you think this is me being annoying?”

You both got an hour of detention for disturbing the class that day. 

You loved it. 

But then, after almost a month of picking up the broken pieces of his heart one by one, and your mother giving him a self-help book to make him regain the confidence he lost during the breakup process, you realized that you were in love with him and there was nothing you could do about that. 

You noticed one friday afternoon, when he offered to pay for your and your mom's ice cream at the drive through, when he scrambled to get all the change he had on him to leave a tip for the person who handed you guys the sweet treat, that there was no way you didn't love him. 

And it was confusing as fuck when everyone else started to tell you he had feelings for you as well. 

“Think about it. You text each other good morning everyday” Yeri listed with her finger and you nodded “Then, you go to school, sit together and spend the rest of the day together” another nod “Then after school you either go get ice cream together or hang out for a bit with your mom while she drives him home. And after that, you get on Skype for the reminder of the afternoon and then he calls you on your house phone and you two spend the rest of the night talking before falling asleep on the line together,” she looked at you like you were insane for even denying the accusations made against San, but she continued anyway “And then it's rinse and repeat and it has been that way since… What? Three months ago?” 

You nodded again, defeated. 

“Girl, he likes you.” she sighed, annoyed and a little tired, before sitting on your lap and kissing your lips affectionately “And you're here making out with me instead of him. You really are a lost cause.”

That didn't stop you from hooking up with her until she found a girl who's heart was not reserved for someone else, though. Said girl went to a different school and was a year younger than all of you, but she looked very happy and stopped secretly kissing you in the school bathroom like a week after they met. 

And when she finally told everyone, you were really happy for her, but San not so much. 

It was the night you thought everything was about to change. The night you thought he was about to kiss you or you were about to kiss him, whatever happened first. 

Laying in your bed, facing each other in the dim light, he thought it was the biggest form of betrayal and pouted the whole time he explained to you why. 

He thought you liked her and you realized he didn't really pay attention to you after all. Not the way you did with him. 

Bless his heart. 

You didn't kiss him that night because he wouldn't shut up about you and Yeri. 

“I mean, why couldn't it be you? She clearly liked you if you two were hooking up for over a year” and when his hand came to rest on your back, under your shirt, you breath hitched enough for him to notice it but not enough for him to just don't do anything about it except trace the curve of your silhouette with the pad of his thumb “I don't understand why anyone would pass the opportunity to be with you.” 

Huh. Maybe he did have feelings for you. 

No. He's just being a great best friend. Don't take that for granted. 

But it was impossible for you not to take Yeri’s words seriously as time went on. 

You didn't want to think he was giving you mixed signals, but yet again there was that one time when you reached behind your passenger seat in your mothers car to pinch his leg playfully after he pulled on your hair a little bit from behind, only to end up holding his hand the rest of the car trip to his house. 

His fingers slowly caressing the back of your hand were just too much for you not to get everything mixed up. 

Or that other time when your school held a Woman's Day event, and your class president decided that all the boys in the class were going to give roses to the girls.

When it was your turn to get a rose, you knew no one would give you one. But Yeri stood in line and collected a rose from the bin before the class president had the opportunity to say anything else. 

“I'll take that, thank you very much.” She turned to you, smiling. San blocked her way to you a second after. 

“And just what do you think you're doing?” 

“Giving my best girl a rose, of course.” She peeked around him, giving you a wink that you could only roll your eyes to. 

San turned to you, the fondness in his eyes making you question the decision of not pretending to be sick that day. It was too much for you to handle. 

“To the back of the line, then. I already called dibs on her,” he turned to your friend, snatching the rose from her hand in one swift move “I'll take that, thank you very much.” 

He had no idea what that meant to you back then. It was true that, at school, he behaved a little differently than when you two were alone. 

He was athletic, so he had some friends that you were sure used to ask him what the fuck was he doing wasting his time with a girl like you instead of getting a new girlfriend. 

He had a family that didn't approve of yours, too. You felt it the first time you met his mom and, even though she was nice to you and your mom, you could feel the judgemental stare she gave both of you when your mom told her she was a single parent. 

San told you that it didn't really matter, that his mom didn't have to like you because you weren't her friend, you were his. 

He played with your feelings a little too well. Wanting him, adoring him and letting yourself be consumed by the thought of him loving you back was enough to keep it going. To ignore the fluttering way your heart kept beating whenever he talked to you which was all the time. 

You assumed the way he behaved with you in private was the real him. The one who didn't care about appearances or his family approval. 

The one who cared about you. 

It was dizzying and fantastic and you thought he just might've been the love of your life. 

But then he would tell you how much it hurted when he saw Arin at school and how much he missed her, the intimacy they shared before, and reality would come crashing down and setting your delusions on fire again. 

He had sex with Arin. You would never stand a chance. 

Or so you thought he did. Except when you overheard Arin speaking to her friends and that was the first time you ever got mad at Choi San.

“And, you know, me and San were never intimate like that so I wouldn't know but I think boys have no idea how to please a woman if they tried to.” 

What? 

Oh. So he lied to you. 

And you were so upset by the thought of him making up stories of their intimate time together that it didn't even cross your mind that Arin might've been lying to save face. 

So when he came back from the bathroom and sat at his usual desk in front of you, you didn't even think about his feelings when you decided to treat him like shit for lying about something so important like sex to your face. 

“Leave me alone, San! I don't want to fucking talk to you right now!” 

The hurt expression he gave you after that is one you would never be able to forget. 

But you grew to be stubborn and a little overprotective of your own feelings, so you thought him playing the part of your best friend all these months and sweet talking to you was just another one of his lies. 

“You guys not being friends right now doesn't make any fucking sense, sweetheart.” Wooyoung's tone is careful and laced with affection, but you knew he was playing the devil's advocate on behalf of San. With his arm around Gyuri’s shoulder (by that point, they were a thing for over two months) you could swear you saw him smirk when the nickname brought a scowl to your face. 

He might've been worried, but he was also a little shit. 

“You really are going to let Arin ruin what you two have?” Your best friend was, of course, on your side. But she was your best friend for a reason and her love included pointing out when you were behaving like an infant at the age of seventeen and a half. 

“You two are practically dating and you're going to let the evil ex-girlfriend get in the way? Over something you weren't even supposed to hear in the first place? Come on.” 

Again, Wooyoung was a little shit. And you were so upset about everything that you shyness couldn't even help the fury behind your reply: 

“Stop saying that! We are not practically dating, he's in love with Arin and I'm not sure I even like him like that anymore!” Getting tired of everyone and their mother (your mother) feeding your delusions, you came to the conclusion that putting a stop to your friendship with Choi San was for the best. 

And, in doing so, you ended up breaking your own heart for the second time in your life. 

But he didn't put up an easy fight at all. You remember the feeling of pure joy when he grabbed your hand on the way to the cafeteria one day, pulling you so hard you almost ended up sitting in his lap, and the way his pleading eyes begged you to listen to him one last time. 

“Us not being friends doesn't feel right, Y/N…” he said and the word he used to categorize what both of you had hurted you, but you pushed the feeling away “Please, let's not fight anymore. I don't even know what happened, but I forgive you for yelling at me and I hope you forgive me for whatever it is you think I did.” 

Of course, you forgave him the next second without thinking too much about it. And for a while, everything went back to normal. You Skyped as usual and occasionally you let your other friends join the call even though it didn't really feel like it used to before. 

The next thing you knew, your feelings were in full bloom again and when you realized it, it was too late. 

Because by then, you had already let your childhood friend, Sunhee, join a few Skype calls and by the fourth one she invited her friend, Minseo, to them as well. 

Terrible, terrible mistake. Because even through the screen, you could see that Minseo looked a lot like Arin with the added bonus that she was down to earth and cool and liked the same things San liked.

You liked the same things San liked as well, but it never seemed to matter. 

Because not even two months after you decided to stop talking to San over a lie you weren't supposed to find out in the first place and then became friends one more time, he gets together with Minseo and you're sick to your stomach all over again. 

You hated her. Not because she was, suddenly, his girlfriend (not girlfriend girlfriend, but in a friends with benefits arrangement you never even knew why he agreed on in the first place) but because suddlenly she was so fucking obnoxious and didn't seem to like you either. 

Was it not painfully obvious San didn't have feelings for you? Why was she mad at you then? You literally brought them together! 

And all you got in return was her telling him she didn't feel comfortable with him having a girl best friend. That ungrateful bitch. 

He stopped calling. He stopped texting, he stopped carpooling with you and your mom after school and he stopped caring whether your math assignment was done or not. 

He stared pulling away more and more and it didn't matter how hard you tried to get him to talk to you, it seemed like he never really fucking cared about you in the first place. 

And by may that year, you didn't speak to San anymore. Granted, the only person he did speak to was Wooyoung, but even their friendship was falling apart. 

For the first time ever, San broke your heart firsthand. And it felt really, really fucking bad. 

You cried to your mom about it, she reminded you that you were nothing but a great friend to him and that, if he didn't take the time to appreciate that, that was his loss not yours. 

And she started hating him from that moment on. But you couldn't hate San, not even a little bit. 

Why would you hate him for not liking you back? For not loving you the way you loved hi— 

Your laptop closes down right in front of you and when you try to look up to find out who's responsible for interrupting your writing time, you get interrupted again. 

“Ouch! What the fuck, Gyuri?” the slap to the back of your head is quick and fill with rage. 

“What the fuck are you even writing. I can read from here, you know?” 

“I'm just laying my feelings down and— Ouch! Stop that!” You try to hit her back but she turns away quickly when your hands almost knock her coffee mug out of hers. 

“You can't possibly still have love for San, Y/N. It's been years.”

It's been four and a half, to be precise. But who's counting, right? 

“And why are you writing it in third person? You don't usually do that.” 

“I don't really know, Gyuri!” 

“I’m telling you, this celebratory dinner bullshit it's affecting you way more than it should,” she sighs, plopping down on the couch of your shared living room, and you leave your seat at the table to join her “He might not even show up. He has that thing with Kyungmi.” 

Kyungmi. 

You couldn't get to that part on your open document, but San left Minseo when he met Kyungmi at one of the frat parties they love to attend. Wooyoung told you that he said that it was love at first sight and you even met her briefly when you picked Gyuri up from the apartment he and San got when they started college together. 

She’s gorgeous and doesn't look like Arin or Minseo at all. It’s a different type of gorgeous. She's a year older than San and went to the same school as them and Gyuri. 

You think you might even like her better than him. 

You tried to be happy for San when you found out, but you two barely even speak a word to each other and you convinced yourself a while ago that you couldn't care less if he sees right through you and your fake smiles. 

You gathered, after everything happened, that San knew you liked him and took advantage of that. Unintentionally, but he did anyway. 

You sigh, resting your head on your best friend's shoulder. “It’s his best friend's celebratory dinner, though, he needs to be there.” 

Two seconds pass and then you both say it at the same time: “He’s in love.” 

And when San is in love, he has a one track mind with the name of his lover as the goal. 

You nod, but you can't help but to be insistent “It's Wooyoung's celebratory dinner, he needs to show up, right?” 

“I might not even show up, he's a pain in the ass.” She replies but you can tell her annoyance is not genuine and it makes you smile. 

Gyuri and Wooyoung broke up towards the end of your first year of college but you all stayed close friends. A one year relationship was not enough to fuck up the friendship they had and they decided to stay civil until, eventually, they became close friends again. 

To this day, you wonder why you and San couldn't rekindle your friendship when it became clear to you that you missed your friend and not the guy that you liked. 

Because San was always your friend first and your first love second. 

But it doesn't really matter anymore, because Gyuri is forcing you to shower and reminding you that you two need to keep Wooyoung on his best behavior tonight. 

“That girl he used to like before me is going, he said. I looked her up, she's single and he needs to get together with her because I can't take him whining about it anymore.” 

They keep things with each other way too civil, you think. 

“I'm telling you, if we don't show up he's going to do that thing where he gets drunk and makes a fool of himself. I can't have that, I'm on a mission.” 

“A mission to get your ex laid?” You ask, shampooing your hair. 

“A mission to get him a girlfriend so he can stop crying to me about feeling lonely.” 

“Maybe he wants you guys to—” The shower curtain opens and you see your best friend’s scowl before covering yourself up with your hands. 

“Gyuri!”

“Don't you dare say what you were about to say or I'm divorcing you.” 

You chuckle “Sure you are.”

You're left alone again with the water stream and she goes back to do her makeup “I told you back in ninth grade that we weren't a great fit and I was right. We can't get back together,” she sighs “It'll ruin everything.” 

“I doubt it will but you guys have been friends longer than you were boyfriend and girlfriend, so I'll just have to deal with my parents being divorced and civil.” 

“God, don't ever refer to us like that again— Oh! Speaking of parents,” you see her beam at her phone when you move the shower curtain to search for your towel and then she shows it to you “Mingi and Love just celebrated their one year anniversary!” 

Love being Mingi’s best friend. Gyuri talks to you about her college friend group all the time. The drama fuels your dinner conversations, you even follow a few of them on social media. 

“What does that have to do with parents?”

“They're the mom and dad of the group.” 

San is in that friend group, you can see him in the back of the picture and you recognize his apartment layout too. He's not the main focus of it but he's all you can see until you notice the couple sitting near him on the couch. 

The picture shows both of them, her in his lap and Mingi looking at her with stars in his eyes. 

Good for them. 

“Is that the girl he was friends with forever before they finally realized that they were in love?” 

“Yeah,” she sighs in contempt, looking down at the picture again “I was there the day it happened. I mean, not physically with them, but they left Yunho's party together and I told Wooyoung that it was finally about to happen!”

Gyuri is not a romantic person at all. Her excitement shows you that she really loves them and so you soften at the news that would usually give you and your dry love life a headache “It was the day before you called me to get you out of that awful date.” 

Ah, that also happened back then. You shudder at the memory.

“Tell them I say congrats, babe.” 

“I'm bringing you as my plus one.” 

You laugh, confused “To where?” 

“Their wedding, duh.” 

“They practically just got together,” you remind her, a year is not enough time to propose “And I don't really know them, Gyuri!” 

“They love you,” she assures you as you step out of the shower “I have been speaking about your antisocial ass for years. They can't wait to meet you.” 

“So you've been shit talking behind my back for years? Is that what I'm hearing?” 

She laughs “No, babe, that's Wooyoung's job.” 

Clearing your throat and looking at your friend through the mirror, you try to be as nonchalant as you can when you ask: “Has he… Did he tell you if…” 

“No, Y/N, I have no clue if San is going or not and Wooyoung is actually mad at him at the moment.” 

“Why?” 

She looks at you, sighing “He's been lacking as a friend lately.” 

“Hm.” 

“I hope you're not planning on swooning if you see him. Fuck him, Y/N.” 

“I know…” 

“And by fuck him I mean he doesn't deserve you or your forgiveness.” 

“He didn't do anything to me, Gyuri,” you remind her, shrugging “Not reciprocating my feelings is not a crime so I don't have to forgive him for anything.” 

You can practically feel her starting the San hate train engine, so you step out of the bathroom but her voice follows you. 

“And what about that time he ditched you for Minseo when you asked him to go with you to that medical appointment, huh?” 

“Cut it out, Gyuri…” 

But her head peaks around the corner, into the hall where you're rushing towards your room “Or that time when—” 

“Can't hear you!” Turning to look at her, she gives you an affectionate middle finger and heads back to the bathroom.

Closing the door, you lean into the thin wood and sigh, getting San’s face out of your mind so you can focus on getting ready and actually show up for Wooyoung and Wooyoung only. 

He just got a permanent position after completing his internship at a company that's your company's rival. He's going to crush you and steal clients from you but you are genuinely so happy for him. 

You should've guessed he enjoyed books as much as you did back in highschool. The debates he used to have with Gyuri were not all about flirting with her but also because he has a passion for books. 

And now he's going to work in the same field as you.

You're so proud of your friend. 

As you get ready, you remember the excitement cruising through your body when your boss trusted you enough to give you the first manuscript of a new client so you could edit it. You're sure Wooyoung is going to do better than you, taking into account that he actually went to college for this. 

You didn't. 

You met your boss at the part-time job you got in senior year, when you were trying to distract yourself from all the pain and the horrors of becoming a grown up. She was chatty, got a little too drunk on soju and told you she was starting her own book publishing company. 

When she returned months later after remembering that you told her you loved books and would love to work for as a publisher one day, she offered you a job in her company right after graduating highschool. 

You took it because you didn't think an opportunity like this would show up ever again. 

She was truly a blessing, the kind of person you never really believed in until she taught you all you needed to know about publishing and editing and encouraged you to take online classes during the nights so you could get, at least, a certification on what you do. 

You're proud of yourself too. The opportunity found you in a specific moment of your life where both your heart and your self esteem were destroyed and now you're not the person you used to be. 

Maybe that's why the possibility of facing San makes you so nervous. Collective memories are dangerous because the details never match the ones on the other person's head. 

You know who you were back then but… Are you the same person in San’s head? 

You don't even want to find out. 

Scanning your outfit in the mirror for the last time, you take the shoes you're wearing tonight out of your closet and walk over to the living room. 

Only to find Gyuri laying on the carpet under the coffee table, half dressed and on her phone. 

“You're going to mess up your hair.” 

“I don't care, I'm not going.” 

Sighing, you seat down on the couch and staring at the wood of the table covering her face. 

“What happened now?” 

“The bitch canceled!” 

“Wooyoung?” 

Poking her head out, she frowns at you “No, his first love.” 

“You were his first love.” 

“You know what I'm talking about, Y/N!” 

Laughing at her, you offer her your hand “Get dressed. Who cares if she's not going? He's not going to sulk because he's going to have you and his best friends there.” 

She whines like a child when you pull her up from the floor “I had a plan!” 

“Then make a new one, babe. We're going to be late.” 

She starts to whine again but then stops mid-groan to give you a once over. You shift uncomfortably on your feet, suddenly self-conscious about your appearance for the first time in years. 

“You look really hot…” she tells you and you fake gag at her words “Really pretty. Like a fairy and a smoke show at the same time.” 

You can't possibly look like that when you have such a simple outfit on, floor length high waist black pants and a flowy sleeve top that ties in the middle. It's barely formal but now you're thinking too hard about it. 

Blushing, you wave your hand to dismiss her compliment “Oh, my god. Go and change!” 

She rushes to her room on the opposite end of the hall and you finally breathe, looking down at your choice of fit and wondering if it's too much. 

Gyuri would've told you if that's the case, but either way it haunts your mind in the car on the way there, leg bouncing up and down under your best friend's judging gaze that only softens when you pout at her. 

“They are going to love you, babe. I'm so serious, they've been waiting years to meet you.” 

You nod because, yes, you're concerned that her friend group is not all as welcoming as she paints them to be. 

And you wish your doubts would go away but you're really, really not good at making friends. You're cautious, extremely closed off to new people and not as good with conversation no matter how much confidence you gained over the past years. 

When you walk to the loudest table at the laid back restaurant their friend Seonghwa made the reservation at, you think you won't be able to fit in with everyone else. You feel like an intruder, like Gyuri is supposed to enjoy this part of her life without you here. 

That's why you rejected every invitation they ever made. 

You celebrate birthdays with her, with Woo as well, but it's all very intimate and separate from their social circle, the one that includes the man you haven't fully faced in years. 

But you can't exactly back out now, not when one of them turns to you and seems to light up when they see you. 

“Oh? Is this her?” you recognize Hongjoong from pictures, he's the only one facing you when you approach the table, lowkey hiding behind Gyuri like a child. 

“Who?” 

“Huh?”

San is nowhere to be seen. Thank god. 

Slowly, everyone turns around and you see their faces light up with both delight and surprise. Your heart is pounding, you feel it in your throat, in your eyes, in the heat that colors your cheeks. 

But Gyuri just steps aside and presents you with a smile “This is her!” 

“Oh, Y/N!” Wooyoung gets up, rushing towards you and crashing into your frame with a crushing hug “I'm so glad you're here,” he murmurs into your hair and then turns to his friends, quiet them down “Everyone, this is Y/N, one of my best friends in the entire world.” 

He's such a dramatic human being.

You love him so much. 

Raising your hand, you shyly wave at them “Hi.” 

The entire table erupts with joy. Some of them greet you, some of them are saying that they are happy to be finally meeting you and Wooyoung grabs your arm and plops you down into the seat next to Gyuri, at the edge of the table. 

Laughing, you apologize for not meeting them sooner and then you feel a pair of hands on your shoulders. 

Panic raising, you quickly turn around to see who it is before releasing a shuddering, but calmer, breath. 

“She's a very busy woman, guys. She works for the competition, my competition,” everyone gasps at that but Wooyoung is smiling at you “and she's very good at what she does. Which means she's busy, get off her case,” he puts a glass and a can of beer in front of you “Drink, babe.” 

“Thanks, babe.” You whisper back and he leans in to peck your head before going away. 

Gyuri groans “Stop stealing that from us! It's our thing, Y/N, don't indulge him.” 

“It's his celebratory dinner…” you argue with a laugh that Hongjoong and Mingi follow. 

“Yeah! Can you get off my case tonight, Gyuri?” 

She huffs, wrapping her arms around you “I hate you all.” 

“No you don't!” 

The table laughs and everyone returns to their individual conversations when Woo sits down on his spot. 

There's a few seats left, one besides Mingi and one right in front of you but you don't think too much about it because soon Gyuri gets up to ask Yeosang something and Seonghwa occupies her seat right beside you. 

You think he can sense that you're more shy than you let on, because he doesn't include you in whatever he and Yunho were talking about and waits until he stops talking to him to turn to you. 

“So, you work for a publishing company?” 

The question caughts you off guard and you swallow the beer quickly before nodding “Y-yeah, I… Yeah.” 

He chuckles “You're nervous.” 

“I'm just not as good at meeting people as Gyuri is. She usually does the job and I tag along.” 

“I feel like I know you already, though.” He says, leaning back on his chair. 

“Because she talks a lot about me?” he nods “Yeah, she tends to do that.” 

“Wooyoung also talks a lot about you, San too… Sometimes,” your cheeks heat up and he misinterprets what it means “All good things, I promise.” 

You doubt that. 

Your brain gives you a hundred and one possible things San could've said about you. 

For some reason, none of them are good. But you choose to believe the gorgeous, long haired guy in front of you. 

“Well that's good to hear,” you take another sip of your drink before smiling at him “I was sure Woo was trash talking about me.” 

He shakes his head with a smile “He wouldn't dare, he has Gyuri on his ass all the time and I'm sure she would kill him.” 

“I'm sure she would kill him even if he didn't do it.” 

His smile grows wider “That's true,” he says, looking over at them who are, very coincidentally, fighting about something. You let out a sigh and he laughs again before clearing his throat “So, the publishing company. What kind of books do you like to edit the most?” 

Your smile grows wider too. 

For the next hour, you talk to Seonghwa about your job and how you started in it. He asks you about your classes and the challenges that you face on a daily basis and Wooyoung overhears and ends up joining the conversation as well.

You don't even hear footsteps nearing until a voice cuts everyone off. 

“I'm sorry I'm late!” 

“Baby!” Mingi gets up from his seat, but no one else does so he's stuck between the table and his girlfriend. 

“Oh, that's Love, huh?” you ask Seonghwa, Wooyoung too entertained messing with the couple to hear you anyways. 

“Yeah… Is that how Gyuri refers to her?” He frowns.

“Mhm,” you answer, leaning into him like you're about to tell him an important secret “I'm not supposed to call her that, don't tell her.” 

Seonghwa leans in too, pretending to zip his mouth shut and you laugh. 

The girl wiggles her way into the seat reserved for her and everyone lets out a groan when they smooch each other. You can only giggle and the sound draws her attention to you “Y/N?” 

You quickly nod “Yeah, hi, nice to meet you.” 

“Nice to meet you! Finally, I thought Wooyoung and Gyuri had an imaginary friend,” you laugh, shrugging at the joke “Love your outfit, by the way, are those— Oh, San, hi— Are those jellyfish?” 

You want to answer. You truly do, the yes right at the tip of your tongue, but words leave you when you turn your head around and find San already looking at you with wide eyes.

He looks great, he's a bit more muscular than what the pictures show and than the last time that you saw him, his arms hugging the fabric of the dress shirt he's wearing like it was tailored for him and everything. 

How dare he. 

You wonder if his heart is beating as loud as yours is right now. If he's surprised, disappointed or happy to see you at all. 

“Her favorite animal.” He answers for you “Hi, Y/N.” 

“Hi…” you whisper back and it feels like you're in a trance. He doesn't look away but the table quieting down once again snaps you out of it and you turn to the girl with a wide smile that you hope conceals whatever the fuck you're feeling at the moment “I love jellyfishes. Had a phase as a child when I would exclusively talk about them, too,” you chuckle, nervously, reaching for your earrings instinctively “Gyuri gave them to me as a present last Christmas.” 

You definitely overshared just now. From the corner of your eye you catch your best friend getting ready to step in if needed. 

Love looks at you, then at San (who's just standing next to you without uttering a word) and then back at you again, smiling like she just figured something out “Well, I love them.” 

“Thanks…” 

Coughing unnecessarily loud, Wooyoung gets up from his seat “You're late.” 

It takes a second but San tears his gaze away from you to look at his best friend and you take the opportunity to chug down the rest of your beer “Sorry, something came up.” 

Seonghwa turns at that and looks at him as well “You good?” 

“I am. Did you guys already eat? I'm starving.” 

“Nope. We're about to order. Let me get you a drink, come here.” And just like that, he disappears from your view and you almost sigh in relief. 

“Are you good?” Seonghwa asks you next and you reckon he's very observant. But then again, you're not the most gracious human being when you're in San’s presence, so, you figure everyone else noticed your change of mood as well. 

“Yeah, I just… I haven't seen him in a while and I didn't think he was coming. I was surprised, that's all.” 

“I can see that,” his eyes move around your face for some reason, frowning a little bit but then he seems to let it go, getting the menu closer to you “Okay, good, um… I actually made the reservation here because they have the best samgyeopsal in town.”  

“Do they?” 

“Mhm, so…” 

He helps you pick your food and when it's time to order, he moves back to his seat. Gyuri asks you with her eyes if you're okay, you nod and grab her hand under the table with a tiny smile and then everyone is moving around to make space for San and Woo once they return. 

He doesn't sit in front of you. 

Relief floods you and you can finally feel your muscles relax as he is so far away, at the other end of the table and in the same row of seats, so you don't really see him unless you really try. 

Which you don't, so your food goes down easy and the rest of the night as well.

Until everyone but you and Seonghwa move around their seats and he ends up right in your point of view as you do your best to ignore him and focus on his friend. 

Seonghwa asks you about your hobbies, you tell him that you love to write movie essays on websites no one even cares to read and he asks you to show it to him so he can look it up when he gets home.

“And you've always done this? Since highschool?” 

You nod and he beams “I read like the first three lines and it looks really good, Y/N. Is that why you love books so much? Because you're a writer?” 

“I wouldn't consider myself a writer but… Sure, I love to write.” 

“Did you know this?” he turns to San and your smile drops a little. 

“Know what?” 

“Your friend is an excellent writer.” 

“Oh, I know. She, uh… Used to write stories on her notebook instead of paying attention in math class,” he sips on his drink and at the detail you didn't know he knew, you turn to him fully “I used to read over her shoulder sometimes.” 

“She's really good.” Seonghwa is looking at your phone, still reading “Really smart, too.” 

San’s jaw tenses a little and you can't understand why “I know.” He says again. 

His friend is none the wiser, blocking your phone and returning it to you “I like it,” he says, smiling and you blush “The essay.” He clarifies after a second, prompting a laugh out of you that he joins. 

San doesn't laugh, but you don't pay attention to him because Seonghwa is asking you something else. 

When it's time to leave the restaurant, Wooyoung suggests going back to his apartment to milk the get-together as much as you all can.

You all throw your napkins at him in feign disgust at the choice of words but you all accept his proposal either way. 

So now you're sitting on the couch, legs crossed and head on Gyuri’s shoulder while you listen to all of them talk (more like argue) about something that happened at their university last week, their voices drowning the soft music playing out of the tiny speaker resting on the counter. 

San is on the floor, to your right. It's hard to keep your eyes off him when you feel him looking at you when you close your eyes and let the noise fade into the background. It's not like you're able to add something to the conversation anyway and Gyuri seems to be drinking her sorrows (not being able to hook Woo up with the girl she told you about) away. 

Your best friend is slurring her words already, drink in hand and index finger pointing at Jongho accusatively because, apparently, the fight they're talking about was his fault. 

“You don't—” she hiccups “You don't even know why it was your fault and it pisses me off even more, you know?” 

“Okay, let me take that.” Taking the drink from her hand and before she starts complaining you stand up to make your way into the kitchen. 

The sink is full and a mess, so you pour the liquid into it and leave the glass sitting right beside it. Distracted by the dilemma of helping Woo out with the dishes or not, you don't notice someone else also entering the space.

That's why you jump a little when you turn and catch Seonghwa leaning on the wall by the entrance. It startles you enough to laugh the nerves out afterwards and he shakes his head, smiling. 

“Sorry, didn't mean to scare you. They're boring me to death with the fight story.” 

You nod, realizing that maybe that's because he doesn't attend the university anymore. He told you he graduated last year “They're too drunk to let it go.” 

“Too drunk to dance to this amazing song, too. Who's playlist is that?” he frowns and you rest your back into the sink, rolling your eyes because he's pretending he doesn't know “Oh! Right, it's mine.” 

“And they just don't know how to appreciate it, huh?” he shrugs and you click your tongue “They're such bad friends, Seonghwa, I truly don't know why you keep them around.” 

“You appreciate it,” it's your turn to frown and he leaves his spot at the wall to walk towards you “You were singing along to it,” he explains and you let out an ah, nodding as he extends his palm to you, clearly inviting you to dance. 

“Oh, I don't… I don't really know how to—” 

“I'll show you.” 

His kind eyes are asking you to trust him. You really, really shouldn't. 

No matter how hard you try to bury the hopeless romantic little girl who decided to have a crush on a guy back in ninth grade, she's still there, begging you to let loose and live a little. 

When you grab Seonghwa’s hand, you think the smile he gives you was worth listening to her. 

You can't even tell the song that's softly playing anymore, a mellow r&b melody reaches your ear but you are not listening. You're focused on him, on the way he spins you around even if it doesn't fit the bit, on the way he laughs softly against your ear when he pulls you close by your hand and then pulls away just as quickly. 

Laughing as well, the spell of this beautiful stranger (because you remind yourself you don't really know him that well) is hard to break. 

Until it does. 

Someone clearing their throat behind you stops you and Seonghwa's feet from moving any further. When the tall, older guy turns you around, you're face to face with San and his scowl. 

“Sorry to interrupt but I need to get started on the dishes. Everyone else is heading out too,” he looks behind you, at the man who's still standing close to you and grabbing your hand “In case you want to ask Mingi for a ride.” 

“They finally stopped fighting!” he fakes excitement, finally letting go of your hand and walking in front of you, blocking San with his body. You chuckle, barely clapping your hands to join the pretense as he's pulling up his phone “Can I ask for your number, Y/N?” 

Blinking a few times, you're not sure if your heart speeds up because he's asking or because you hear San sigh exasperated behind him “S-sure.” 

When you put your information on his phone, he bids you goodbye with a pat on your head and hugs San on his way out the kitchen. 

Now that you two are alone, you suddenly want to run and join Seonghwa. You were doing so, so well. 

Avoiding San like the plague it's much easier when you're safe hiding behind your two best friends. 

Ignoring his stare would be much easier if you weren't stuck into place. 

“I—” 

“You—” 

You both speak over each other and you force out an uncomfortable laugh that he doesn't return. Instead, he motions you to go first while he occupies the space in front of the sink, turning the faucet on. In doing so, he has to grab your waist and move you out of the way which makes you short circuit for a second “I was going to help you with that.” You finally stammer out. 

He lets out what you take as an annoyed chuckle. 

“You seemed busy, I don't know how you would've done it.” 

Ouch. 

Why do you allow his words to cut so deep when you stopped caring about what he does a long time ago? 

The band aid rips, the stitches come undone and all it took him were five seconds to melt your resolve away like it was never there in the first place. 

“I'll… I go get Gyuri so we can leave Woo and you to get to it, then.” 

“Bathroom.” You hear him mutter under his breath as you are taking the final step to leave. 

“Huh?” 

“She's in the bathroom, probably puking her breakfast out,” he looks up at you to give you a tiny smile “You left her alone with Jongho and Woo for five minutes so she got ahold of another drink.” 

“God damnit.” 

Rushing out, you run into everyone else at the door and Mingi has to let go of his very intoxicated girlfriend when she reaches you to give you a hug “Don't be a stranger, Y/N! It was lovely to be around you, hm?” 

The sudden physical contact almost makes you gasp but you cover it up with a shy giggle “O-oh. Yeah, um, lovely to meet you too. All of you.” 

“Sorry about that,” her boyfriend grabs her arms and breaks the hug “She's right, though. Don't be a stranger.” 

You nod once, smiling a little more sincerely now and everyone says bye to you, including Seonghwa, who grabs your hand one last time and gives it a squeeze before closing the front door of the apartment. 

You think you feel your heart skip a tiny bit under all the shit San’s words pulled up to the surface a minute ago. But there's no time to dwell in that: you hear Gyuri opening up the bathroom door before gagging and closing it again with a slam. 

Jesus Christ. 

You two are really getting old. You stopped drinking like an hour ago, when you were starting to feel tipsy after your second beer, and you know she didn't drink as much as she used to maybe four years ago, but the visage that welcomes you when you open the door and find her crouched down in front of the toilet certainly brings back memories of those times. 

“I left you alone for like… five minutes.” Sighing, you lean in to hold her flimsy ponytail and pat her back. 

“I'm good,” she gags again and then holds up her hand to stop you from saying anything else “I'm fine.” 

Smiling, you help her up and she grabs the counter as she's washing away the taste of whatever she ate earlier today and alcohol “Me when I lie…”

“Y/N!” she hits your arm but the movement somehow almost makes her trip. 

“You want to lay down?” 

“Is she okay?” Woo’s head peaks into the bathroom and when he sees his ex, he makes a face. 

“Does she look like she's okay?” you help her out of the bathroom and start heading for Wooyoung's room. 

“Wow, wow— Where do you think you're taking her?” 

“To your room, dumbass!”

“Why mine? San's is literally right there.” He whines, pointing at the door you pass by without a second thought. You don't want to know where his room is or what it looks like at all. 

“Yeah, well, did San get her this drunk?” 

“How was I supposed to know that she was at her almost black-out phase? She never drinks that much in front of me!” he complains again but you're already tugging Gyuri in, who mumbles something incoherent and then flips Wooyoung off “Na Gyuri if you puke on my bed I swear to God!” 

If you didn't know Wooyoung so much, the whining and the attitude would probably make you think he didn't care for her at all. But he's brushing her hair out of her forehead, securing the blanket around her and moving to take her socks off when you reach the door. 

“I'm guessing you're okay with her staying the night?” 

“Of course you guys can stay the night, Y/N.” He says and he stumbles a little to get to you, so you smile and shake your head, about to let him know that you're not staying anywhere near his roommate when he continues “You can come over whenever you like. You know that, right?” 

“I know, Woo.” 

“I barely even see you these days, I… Oh! I forgot!” he points to the end of the hall, towards the kitchen “You guys don't really like each other so maybe don't come over when he's here because I don't want to see you sad!” 

“Lower your voice,” you whisper to him, bringing a hand to his face and patting his cheek a few times to wake him up “Did the alcohol suddenly hit you or something?” you sigh for the umpteenth time “Anyways, you should lay down and I'll get going. I'll come pick her up tomorrow and—” 

“That's such a great idea! Oh, I'm a genius.” 

“You didn't come up with it, Wooyoung.”

“San!” he calls all of the sudden and you wish he was sober enough to read the panic on your features. He seems much, much sober when his best friend starts walking down the hall and stops right beside you “Take Y/N home, please, she's going to give you a bag that you must protect with your life.” 

Said best friend looks at you, his eyebrow arched in a silent question “Gyuri’s stuff.” 

“Ah.”

“Go, go. It's getting late, I'll just… I'll cuddle with my ex until you get home.” 

And she has the nerve to say he doesn't want her back. 

When the door to Wooyoung's room closes and you're left with San on the poorly lit hallway, you make a mental note to never step foot on this place or allow your friends to drink ever again. 

You don't even look at the guy before practically running down the hallway and reaching for your bag. You make sure your phone is secured in your pocket as you slip your shoes on and soon you're grabbing the front door knob and twisting it. 

Keys jingle next to you but, again, you don't spare San a glance. 

“So—” 

“I'll get out of your hair, you don't have to… walk me home or whatever he said.” 

“Y/N, it's late.” 

Turning to him, your smile is as fake as the ones you've been giving him the past couple of years “And I'm a grown up, San, I can walk myself home.” 

“What about Gyuri’s stuff?” 

“She can wear Wooyoung's clothes, it's not like they never shared before. Anyway… Thank you for having me, it was nice to see you. Goodnight.” Your response comes out fast and it sounds as planned out as it actually is, kinda robotic and devoid of actual emotion. 

San can't see through you the way you see through him. It's okay, he won't mind it. 

He probably won't mind that you close his own door on his face either. 

If that door is what you hear when you're making your way down the stairs in order to make a fast escape, you choose to ignore it. 

You have to stop mid-way to compose yourself. You don't know why you feel like crying or why your heart is beating so fast. 

You knew going in that there was a possibility of seeing him tonight. You know how San affects you, so effortless and seemingly like no time has passed at all in between senior year and present day. 

You know all of this already, it's an endless loop that will keep repeating until you either move away or decide to stop agreeing to Wooyoung's plans all together. 

So why is your chest heaving with emotion? Why is nostalgia playing mind tricks with you? Why do you want to turn back and hug him and beg him to turn back time so you can do it all differently now that you know how to look like and what to say to make him love you back? 

Ah, you're definitely not sleeping tonight. So you start distracting yourself while walking down the stairs again. You remind yourself to tell a much sober Wooyoung how proud you are of him. You think about Seonghwa, about his kind eyes and the way he grabbed your hand to dance with him just half an hour ago. You wonder how long it will take you to get home if you jog all the way there. You—

Why the fuck is San outside when you get there? 

In a comedic way, you can see your attempt to distract your mind off of him slipping through your fingers and evaporating in the warm summer night breeze. 

In a realistic way, you're fucking pissed at him for taking the opportunity of a good night sleep away from you. 

You pass him and start jogging like you planned a minute ago. Footsteps follow you until his arm brushes yours and you take a step to the side to stop it from happening again. 

“Go home, Choi San.” 

“Stop fighting it, Y/N. I'm walking you home.” 

“It's a twenty minute walk—” 

“Drop it.” 

You do. And for the first ten minutes, no one utters a word even if the tension feels electric and the street is so quiet so you can hear when his breath accelerates when he jogs to catch up to you whenever you try to leave him behind. 

Isn't that ironic. He was the one who left you behind all those years ago. 

“I didn't know that you danced.” 

He breaks the uncomfortable but safe silence to say that? 

“Well, you saw me dance so I clearly dance when I want to.” 

“You never danced with me.” 

“You never asked me to.” 

He laughs “I'm pretty sure I did on several occasions, Y/N.” 

“Well, you're wrong,” you're getting annoyed. How dare he think he remembers better than you? “It doesn't matter anyway, what's past is past and—” 

“You also gave Hwa your number,” he interrupts, his long legs taking two strides to get in front of you, still walking, facing your direction with his hands on his pockets. 

It's dangerous and stupid, even if the streets are practically empty and the sidewalk barely has any bumps. 

You hope he falls on his pretty face.

“I did.* 

“I don't have your number.” 

“Well, I changed it and you never asked for it, so…” 

“You could've called me or texted me to let me know you did it.” 

He's getting on your nerves.

“San,” you start, taking in a deep breath you hope calms you down “We don't even text anymore, why would you want my number?” 

“Do you like him?” 

“Seonghwa?” you ask, frowning and he nods “Like… As a person?” 

“As a potential love interest.” He clarifies matter-of-factly and you roll your eyes. 

“I met him today, San. Why do you want my number?” 

“Because we're friends?” he offers after a second, shifting so he's walking by your side again. 

“Are we?” you ask, laughing bitterly at that “Because we haven't spoken a word to each other in years.” 

“That's not true.” 

“It is, San.” 

“You… You don't speak to me anymore, so…” 

“Well your girlfriend at the time told me she didn't feel comfortable with me speaking to you anymore,” you sigh “so I didn't and you didn't try to talk to me either.” 

“Well, I want to talk to you now.” 

“And is your new girlfriend aware of that? Is she comfortable with that? Because I don't want anyone telling me what to do anymore and—” 

“Why wouldn't she be comfortable? We're friends, Y/N.” 

“Are we?” you insist, petty, bitter and overall very, very hurt. 

He looks offended at that “I assumed we were?” 

He's getting on your fucking nerves. 

“We stopped being friends the second Minseo asked me to stay away from you because she didn't like me, San.” 

“She’s not in my life anymore—” 

The words are coming out of your mouth without even thinking it through. His demeanor, the way he's somehow reproaching you for whatever he saw between you and his friend, the way he pretends nothing happened between you and him, thinking that you two are still friends. 

“We stopped being friends when you pulled away from me, saw me do the same and did nothing to stop it from happening, San.” 

He stops in his tracks at that. You don't, pushing forward and quickening your step even if your calves burn. 

“Either way,” you speak up “Make sure you tell your girlfriend about wanting my number and then you can ask Seonghwa for it if you want—” 

“She's not my girlfriend anymore!” 

Now that stops you, just a few buildings down from yours, you turn around just to find San closer that you thought he'll be.

“O-oh. I… I didn't know that. I'm sorry.” 

“You didn't do anything to be sorry for.” 

“Still, it must suck so I'm sorry you're going through that.” 

“We didn't want the same things and so we ended it. It is what it is.” 

You nod. 

He walks the few steps separating you and you have to raise your chin a little to look him in the eye for the first time since you left his apartment “I wanted to tell you.” 

“That you broke up with your girlfriend?” 

“Yeah, I don't know why. It happened when I broke up with Minseo too, I just… You're the first person that I thought of calling when it happened. I texted you, too, but the messages didn't go through.” 

You hum at that. 

Why would he even say that? 

You resume your step, not really knowing what to say until you reach the stairs that lead to your building’s entrance. 

“And you didn't ask Woo for my number?” 

He follows you up. 

“I don't think he would've given it to me if I asked.” 

That sounds like an excuse, so you don't let it slide as you enter the code to your building and let yourself inside, San holding the door so he can get in as well “Why would he do that?” 

“Because he…” San sighs, pressing the elevator button “Nevermind. He just wouldn't.”

Frowning, you turn to him “No, now you have to tell me.” 

“It doesn't matter, really—” 

“Tell me, San.” 

He stares for a second and then looks away, like a child, vulnerable and you can't help but soften at that “He didn't like the way I treated you.” 

Eating your words from before, you shake your head “You didn't treat me like anything.” 

The elevator dings and you get inside. 

San follows you. 

“Exactly,” he says, resting his shoulder on the metal “Like you said I just did nothing and—” 

“Well, sometimes that's just what happens,” you want to end this. You want to pack Gyuri’s bag, give it to him and never see him again. 

This conversation hurts, it reopens barely closed wounds and it creates new ones you don't really need when it comes to whatever happened between you two. 

There's only so much a person can handle and it really doesn't help that you're a fool for San. He takes advantage of it, of the fact you can't really push him away at this point and the fact that he wants to have this conversation now instead of four and half years ago? 

Mean. 

He's mean. He's evil. He's… He's staring at you with a spark in his eyes that you recognize too well. 

Hope. 

When you get to your floor, you try to wipe the image away while busying yourself with your keys. Your hands tremble a little but you're able to open the door of your apartment and get in without inviting him. 

He gets in anyway. You take off your shoes as he closes the front door. 

He stays silent as he follows you around the apartment and you don't worry about turning the lights on. You get into Gyuri’s room and start picking out a comfy hangover outfit for your friend. Some clean underwear, sweatpants, two shirts and socks. 

When you drop to the floor, in front of the closet, to look for a bag to stash all of it in, San silently clutches beside you. 

“It shouldn't have happened to us. Never us.” 

You can't take it anymore. 

“San, what is this? What are you doing? I mean, why are we—” 

“I know.” 

“It's been years…”  

“I miss you.” 

He's so mean. But the softness in his tone resembles the one he used all the way back in highschool, when he told you that not being friends with you didn't feel right and you want to cave in right there and then. 

Your heart screams at you to do it, your reason warns you that you both have been through this before and it never ends right. 

You simply can't stay friends with Choi San. 

Your love for him must run too deep, your resentment claws at it and tries to hurt it but it's an immovable force that won't budge even if you try to bury it under the years that have passed, the things he has done. 

Tears gather in your eyes and you try to blink them away as you stare at your best friend's clothes on your lap and try to come up with something to close this path up again, reconstruct the picket fence you built around it the second he broke your heart for the first time. 

“Yeah,” you whisper back, letting the walls fall a little “I miss you too but I don't think I miss whatever version of you you are right now, San.” 

“W-what?”

His shaky voice makes the walls crumble and crash. 

Turning to him, your hand shakes as you place it on top of his “And you don't miss the version of me I am right now. You miss what I was back then, the comfort and the shoulder to cry on I offered you when Arin and you broke up. You miss my availability and the way I didn't press my feelings on you because it didn't matter if I liked you or not, you were my friend first and the guy that I had a crush second but—” you choke up, tears falling down your cheeks even if you don't want them to “I can't do it anymore. I'm not that girl anymore and I won't be there for you now that you and Kyungmi broke up because I can't handle it. I can't, I'm sorry.” 

He doesn't deny any of it.

He stares at you, tears wetting his cheeks as well and it hurts even more this way. You wish you had the strength to hold it together, to treat him like you did on the street a few minutes ago, but you can't. 

There's no way you could ever hate him like you want to. 

“You know…” he starts in a whisper, letting out a humorless chuckle “That's what I used to tell myself too.” 

“Hm?” 

“That you were my friend first and the girl that I had a crush on second.” 

How dare he mutter the words you always wanted to hear, the ones you picture being said in a different setting, the ones that haunted your every waking thought that period of time you doubted your friends, your mom, yourself for even believing Choi San could ever have a crush on you. 

He doesn't get to say them. You want to tell him but the words die on your throat and form a lump that you can't swallow down. 

You don't get to say that. You don't get to say that. 

Your hand drops from his and you look away again only to grab the first bag you find on the closet floor and shove Gyuri’s stuff in it. 

If the lack of response it's what prompts the hurt in his voice the next time he speaks, you don't want to think about it. 

“I wish I didn't. Now it's too late to do something about it, huh?” 

This time the rage comes back with a mask on. Feing settlement for all the what if’s covers you like a blanket on a really hot summer night: unwanted, unnecessary. 

But you can't sleep without it, so you do nothing to push it away. 

“I guess it is.” 

You get up from the floor, leaving the room and wiping your face with bitterness coating your movements as you wait by the door for him to get out. 

When he does and he steps in front of you, you extend the bag and he takes it without missing a beat. 

Voice robotic and words premeditated, you open the front door for him “Thanks for walking me home and taking this back.” 

He leans a little into your space and you don't move away. But just as he did in highschool, he takes in your hitched breath and does nothing more.

“Thanks for letting me talk to you.” 

He didn't give you much of a choice there but it's okay. This is closure, this is the end of your story with Choi San and you convince yourself you're glad that it is. 

“Sure,” you whisper back and he steps outside, turning around to watch you slowly close the door “goodnight, San.” 

He doesn't say it back. 

When the darkness of your apartment engulfs you, that's when you let yourself breakdown. Covering your mouth with your palm, you descend until your knees are against the wood on the floor and closing your eyes you make it a point to let it all out. 

You'll let it all out, drink some water, text Wooyoung and Gyuri to let them know you're safe and go to bed. 

And tomorrow you'll begin your day with the freedom of finally knowing what would've happened if you or San ever took the next step. 

This is fine. This is moving on. This is— 

The doorbell rings. 

Opening the door again, you crease your eyebrows in a silent question that San doesn't care to answer, so you look around the floor in case he forgot something you're missing. You wipe your cheeks and under your eyes as you turn to him again “Did you—” 

Time slows down when he makes it past the threshold and you can't move an inch, gaping at who you once thought was the love of your life “What are you doing, San?” 

“Something about it.” 

“What?” 

“Forgive me,” he asks, breathless and in a murmur, fueling your confusion. And then he's closing the distance, dropping Gyuri’s bag and cupping your face so gently that it hurts “but I'm doing something about it.” 

You stopped dreaming about the possibility of San kissing you that one time you two were on your bed and, another time, you told yourself that, if it ever happened, you wouldn't kiss him back. 

It's too late to kiss him back. 

But sparks fly when he crushes you against the wall and takes in a breath before slothing his mouth against yours like he's been waiting to do this every single day for the past nine years you've known each other. 

There's nothing you can do to conceal the way yearning takes over you, pours out of you, making you breathe into his open mouth and kiss him back like you always wanted to. 

You already know it is a mistake by the time you grab his shirt to keep him in place but does it really matter when this is all you ever wanted? 

Feeling warmth leave your face, you notice the way he desperately crowds your space as his chest bumps into yours, leg claiming its place in between yours, the palm that leaves you pressing against the wall, next to your head. 

The kiss is filled with emotion, with longing and desire and it steals the air out of your lungs tragically and beautifully at the same time. Before, you used to dream about his lips making everything feel right, making you fit in in a world you didn't feel like you belonged to. 

But this kiss drops you into uncharted territory, drags you into the depths of something that should be buried by now, after all this time. It brings the flame back to life and it's dangerous. 

The fact that it feels this way, both marvelous and catastrophic at the same time, makes you so sad. 

Sorrow descends down your face until your mouth is picking it up and your tongue is mixing it with whatever emotion is cruising through San right now. 

You have to know. 

He spent your entire youth and early adulthood keeping it to himself, knowing when to show his true colors and when to hide them, choosing who to do it with and you realize the San that lives in your head is nothing but a figment of what you wanted him to be. 

Because him holding to your waist like it's his only lifeline doesn't fit the San you remember, him telling you he liked you back then doesn't fit the guy who was just your best friend. 

You need to know. 

“San,” brokenly, you speak into his mouth and he pulls away just enough to see your face. Your eyes remain closed, your chest heaving and your lips trembling “Why are you doing this?” 

“Because I want you, Y/N.” 

You push him away, weakly, almost like you don't really mean it because deep down you don't but he steps away like you're asking to. 

Because, of course, your mind scraps the bottom of your resentment to give his words a completely new meaning. 

“You can find another girl to fuck and be your rebound, San,” more tears spill down and you wipe them away in anger but more threat to fall down so you cover your face with your hands and groan, desperate “I can't do this, especially not when I know that you know how bad I wanted you. Y-you know what you do to me San so stop—”

“I want you in my life. I don't— What? I don't want you like a rebound, I… Can we sit down and turn on a light so I can look at you when I say this?” 

His words should be reassuring but they're not, the way you tend to feel unlovable around him coming up to the surface, preventing you from thinking clearly. 

You can also feel his lips on yours still. It's dizzying but you manage to push yourself off the wall and pad around until you hit the switch of the warm light lamp near the couch and the apartment comes to life just like that. 

He takes in the space he's never seen before, walking slowly towards the living room and looking over the bookshelf that screams your name all over it. He smiles a bit as he looks over the book titles and you look away before your heart starts acting up again. 

You can't stay mad at him for long if he's looking through something so personal to you and smiling that fondly at it. It feels even more intimate than the kiss you two just shared. 

Wiping your cheeks once more, you are sure you look a mess but he doesn't seem to mind it once he comes into your point of view, sitting down on the couch, in front of your standing form. He grabs you by your hands until you're sitting next to him, close to him, cologne intoxicating your senses. 

“I told you I liked you when we were in highschool, right?” 

You nod. 

“You seemed surprised but it was dark so I'm not really sure. I thought you knew, everyone knew.” 

Oh, he's a comedian. 

“How would I have known, San? I… Yeri told me you liked me one time, in senior year, but I denied it. Then, my mom told me you seemed to want me in a non-platonic way and I dismissed her as well,” you take in a deep, shaky breath “For me, the thought of you liking me just didn't make sense. You loved Arin and she's… She doesn't look or act like I did back then at all, so how would I have known?” 

You didn't need clues and puzzles and what if’s, you needed words and actions that weren't confusing. You needed him to tell you back then, because telling you right now and kissing you senseless after he broke up with a girl he supposedly was very in love with means nothing but pain. 

“I didn't realize you liked me too,” you make a face, about to tell him off, but he interrupts “I didn't! I thought you liked Yeri and I thought you saw me as the annoying guy who wouldn't leave you alone. I only just realized it a couple years ago, because Woo told me.” 

You raise your eyebrows and mutter under your breath “I'm murdering him tomorrow.” 

The corner of his lips twitch before he shakes his head in dismissal of what you said “I liked you. I really, really liked you and never told a soul because… Well, it's scary when you fall in love, right?” 

“San, you had no problem telling Arin, Minseo or Kyungmi that you liked them.” 

He looks down to the floor, lost in thought and you want to open your mouth to take what you just said into a new direction, but you don't “Maybe that's because I didn't love them the way I love you.” 

Oh. 

Love you? As in… He loves you right now too? 

No way. 

“You didn't love me, San. You don't love me right now either, you… Maybe we both were in love with the idea of love? Maybe that's what happened and—” 

“Quit telling me what I'm feeling, Y/N. You always do that, you always assume you know what I'm feeling but you don't!” 

Raising your voice a little more, you try to get your point across in the worst way possible: by being stubborn “You don't know me! How can you possibly—” 

“I knew you back then, Y/N! And I loved you back then, too!” He looks like wants to say something more but he doesn't, instead, he takes a calming breath and then leans into your space for the third time tonight “And I might not know you now but I want to. That's what I meant when I said that I want you. I want you in my life, I want to know the person you became when we stopped talking, I want to talk to you every single day and I want to hold you and kiss you and be by your side however you want me to, I just… I can't lose you again.” 

His confession renders you speechless and you notice his chest is heaving, going up and down in sync with yours. 

But the way he pulled away from you senior year still hurts, it paints a picture of what's going to happen if you accept this. 

You can't believe his words. 

He must feel lonely and confused, like he did when Arin broke up with him. He must be looking for a shelter you can't provide. 

“And when you find another girl that's more to your liking? What then, San?” 

“There's no one that I love more than you, Y/N and I'm sorry I was shit at proving it back then and I'm sorry that it took so many years for me to come to my senses.” 

He's tearing up and your heart pangs absurdly loud at that. 

“I saw you with Seonghwa earlier today, laughing and dancing and flirting and I thought: Oh, maybe if I didn't waste that much time pretending I'm someone I'm not, that would be me.” 

You stare for a second, you watch a single tear drop down his cheek and then look away. 

“Is that what you were doing? Is that why you pulled away?” 

“Maybe?” he offers and you turn to him again. Is not enough and maybe he can see it in your expression, because he goes on “I mean, I… I thought I wanted Arin. I thought I wanted Minseo. I had people in my life who were really happy to see me with them and I just…” 

“Wanted to keep them happy,” you nod, understanding. He doesn't have to say his mothers name for you to know he's referring to her and maybe his other highschool friends outside of Wooyoung “Were you pretending with me as well?” 

“No,” he answers right away “You and Woo were the only ones who saw me for who I really was back then.” 

“And why do you think you love me now, San?” you ask, deflating against the couch and ignoring the way your heart soars at his quick response.

“Because I never stopped,” he stammers out and then clears his throat “Because I looked for you in Minseo and Kyungmi and I wondered for years why they couldn't make me feel the same way. And I told myself I didn't need to feel the same way and that I deserved to wonder for the rest of my days but seeing you tonight? I can't.” 

Straightening your spine, the pained look you sent in his direction is not intentional but it prompts him to lean closer and closer until he's cupping your cheek again. 

“I can't keep wondering.” His voice is a sweet whisper, a siren song that draws you in until your forehead is resting against his. 

All these years, you were so self-focused on changing to a better version of who he used to know, learning from your mistakes and closing off to the opportunity of letting him prove himself a better man, you forgot that time passed for him too. He’s telling you he changed, too. 

Imagination is a safe space. Is where you hide, where desire can take its wings and fly high without hurting you too much. Make belief has rescued you before but this? The way his nose nuzzles softly into yours and your breaths tangle? This is very real. And reality is prone to hurt you. 

But the want you feel is undeniable. The way your entire being wants to cave in and give him an opportunity is suffocating, it makes you choke out a sob that he follows with one of his own. 

You kiss him, softly at the beginning, but his hands on you tighten and you let yourself get lost in the way they go down your neck and your arms, caressing you softly until they reach your waist and pull you into his lap. 

Pulling away, you grab his chin with two fingers and force his teary eyes to snap open, searching for an answer on yours.

“If you hurt me,” you start, breathless “If you're mocking me, if you're using me to get over Kyungmi, if you are pulling me back in to break my heart again, Choi San, I swear to God I will kill you.” 

“I won't do that to you ever again, Y/N,” he returns softly “I love you, I'm sorry if I ever hurt you but I love you.” 

Others would argue that it is pathetic how quickly you forgive him. But then again, you could never be mad at San. 

You were only mad at yourself for how everything turned out. 

“I love you too, Sannie.” 

Saying something never felt so freeing before. 

“Oh, Y/N…” you can see the way relief washes his worries away “Y/N…” he starts to say but then leans in to kiss you again and never finishes his words. 

You don't mind it. 

Pouring out all the pent up affection you pretended to bury for years, you explore his mouth and carve into your memory the way he feels. The way he sighs into it when your tongue brushes his, the way he pulls you in closer when your fingers reach the nape of his neck and pull on his hair there, hands splayed on your back so he can keep you in place as he leans down and places you against the worn out couch. 

He maps you out, hands going down your waist in a familiar feeling that brings back that memory of you two laying down on your bed. Only this time, he's actually touching you with a purpose. This time, you two have made up your minds and your limbs are tangled in a way you can feel all of him pressing up against you. 

It starts to get stuffy, the space on the couch not nearly enough to have him the way you want to. Soon, you're both standing up, mouths still moving against each other and hands roaming everywhere until you're undoing the buttons on his shirt. 

He pulls away to fully take it off, eyes never leaving yours, dropping the shirt to the ground, next to the couch and then he's on you again, making your back crash into the wall as he works the knots keeping your blouse together. 

He walks you through the hall, stopping only to take your top off and then he's walking you to a room that has a familiar scent that doesn't belong to you.

“Wrong room, wrong room,” you say into his lips and he laughs, looking to your surroundings “Mine’s over there.” you point to the other end of the hall, taking his hand and pulling him towards it. 

You don't make it far before he's yanking you towards him again. He looks down, taking your body in and you do the same, his firm and defined stomach a sight you never thought you would be able to see. 

“You're so beautiful,” he whispers, backing you against the wall again and kissing your cheek “So, so beautiful.” 

Turning your head to chase his mouth, he lets out a heavy sigh when his lips trail a path to your neck and murmurs against the skin there “I never told you how beautiful I found you before but you're so perfect, baby.” 

“I always thought I wasn't your type, San,” you let out a noise when he grabs your hips and pulls you forward, crashing his into yours “Fuck.” 

“And I always thought you were too much for me, too smart,” he kisses his way back up, focusing on your jaw and chin until he's kissing your cheek again “too pretty,” he moves to your ear, pecking right under it and you hold him closer “too good for me.” 

It doesn't really matter that this is all new to you, the way he's speaking, the tenor of his voice, the things he's saying… It sparks something familiar in you. You're pulling his hair back to make him look at you, a moan slipping out of his lips at that. 

You want to hear it again. 

He's smiling at your reaction, hand tightening on his locks.

However, that smile drops when he seems to recognize the gleam in your eyes. 

You gather up courage, feeling empowered by the way his hooded eyes darken but wait patiently for you to speak your mind. 

“Maybe I'm too good for you now, too,” you lean in, your lips softly tracing his “Maybe you should prove to me that you deserve me, San.” 

It's a dare. One that he seems to like a lot because his eyes sparkle with the same fire they used to back in the day. 

“Oh, I'll prove it to you, alright.” He whispers, panting when you let go of his hair and he leans into you to kiss your lips briefly before pulling away again.

His hand tilts your head back and you rest it against the cold wall, his fingers touch your bottom lip before going down and down and down until they rest against the seam of your pants, unbuttoning them in one swift movement. 

Going back up, his nails softly dig into your skin and you preen, taking the soft sting of his ministrations like you two have done this a million times before.  

His mouth is on yours again, his hands are pulling you off the wall and into your room until you two land on your mattress with a soft tud, a moan spilling out of your lips when he sloths his knee in between your legs and pulls them apart with expertise. 

You don't have the mind to break down what that means. 

Opening your eyes when he kisses down your neck again, you notice your room is barely lit by the street lights outside, curtains pulled open and windows closed but, this way, you can see the way San kisses between your breasts and your belly, catching his eyes when he looks up to measure your reaction. 

You sigh, already feeling some sort of build up going on down there and he hasn't even touched you properly yet. 

You don't even want to think about how wet you actually are. 

He leans back, open palms going down your legs slowly until they reach your feet. It tickles and you can't help but let out a giggle that he joins short after, his gaze never losing the edge because of it, though. 

“San…” 

He guides your hips up so he can take off your pants and you sigh when his hands return, raising your leg up “I missed your laugh,” he says low, attaching his lips to your calf “I miss being the one making you laugh too.” 

You feel like crying again but then he's letting your leg down and grabbing the other one to give it the same treatment, so your tears can wait. 

This time, he moves upwards till his mouth nears your clothed center and your breath hitches. 

Yeah, you can definitely cry later.

“You want me to prove to you how much I want you, Y/N?” he murmurs, his lips ghosting your mound now “How much I love you?” 

“San, p-please…” 

“Fuck, look at you.” He sounds like he's too lost in the heat of the moment and you're kind of grateful, because the moan you let out when his fingers hook on your underwear and pull them to the side to expose your pussy to his hungry eyes is loud. 

When he kisses you right where you need him, you let out another moan. And when he parts your folds to lick a stripe up to your clit, you curse him under you breath until he's laughing against you softly, the vibrations accumulating heat on your belly. 

He doesn't tease you much longer and you look down at him just to catch the moment his self control slips, eating you out like a man starved while his hand stays on your hip to hold you down and keep you underwear from interrupting his feast. 

“This is like,” he dives in again for a few seconds and you grab the sheets beneath you “All my fantasies coming to life but better.” 

He's so chatty during this and the only thing you can do is stammer a yeah? and pray for it to reach his ears.

“Mhm,” the circles your clit with the tip of his tongue and your legs shake “Taste even better than what I dreamed, too.” 

The heat of his mouth leaves you, lips spreading your wetness through your stomach until he fully reaches your face, your eyes closed and lips already waiting for him. 

Tongue caressing yours, your hands trail down his torso and focus on getting his pants off. You're shaking with excitement so it proves to be more difficult than you imagined at first but he helps you in unbuckling his belt. 

Once the piece of clothing is one the floor (or the bed, you're not really paying attention on where it lands), you don't waste time in feeling him up through his boxers. 

The hiss you get in return makes you smile. 

Bringing your lips to his neck, you suckle on this pulse point and gain another pleased noise before grazing your teeth against skin and moving to his collarbone next.

In a way, you get what he means. If he truly was pining over you the way you were pining over him, the thought of exploring his tan skin and making him moan feels like a dream. 

So you kiss him again in order to make it all last longer. 

The minutes pass between the both of you, softly making out and figuring out what gets both of you going, discarding your underwear in the process. 

You realize your moans make San’s cock twitch against your leg and he seems to notice the way your hips buck up everytime his hands handle you more roughly. 

After a few minutes of just this, you feel his hand making its way down again and the pads of his fingers circle your clit until you're grasping the sheets again. He gathers your arousal and then enters one finger slowly and when it slides in and out with ease, he enters the next one. 

There's really not much prepping he needs to do, already soft and compliant under him, you relax into his comfortable touch before you're aching for something else. And your mouth is preoccupied with his, so you do something else to catch his attention. 

Hands caressing his back, you let them drop to his ass with a soft smack that wins you a soft huff on amusement and then a whine when you move his hips towards yours. 

“Condom?” 

You shake your head “I'm clean and I have an implant.” 

“Oh?” he smirks, about to tease you but you squeeze his butt again and he moans “Fuck. I'm clean too.” 

“Good,” you whisper against his cheek, laughing as he arranges his position. 

And he might've been touching you all this time, kissing you until your mind emptied and your lips are all swollen up, but the look on his eyes when he slowly enters you is what might drive you over the edge. 

Grabbing your hands, he pins them on the side of your head as he moves, dropping his head down with a groan as you take him in, nose touching yours and moth whispering sweet things you can't quite pick up. 

He feels so good. 

This all feels way too good to be real. 

In the cloud you're at, you allow yourself to dream a little more before the reality of what your confessions mean dawns on you. 

For now, you allow San to make love to you. Sweetly, slowly and with a passion you never were lucky enough to encounter before. 

Maybe it's because your previous lovers didn't have your heart the way San does. 

He rams his hips into yours hard, closing his eyes and resting his warm cheek against yours, kissing your face inch by inch when you accompany his movements with your own. 

When his pace picks up, you hug him close and secure your legs around his hips as you moan. 

“Y-yes, fuck.” 

“Like that?” he repeats the movement from before, pulling out and then in with such force it rocks the entire bed. 

“Just like that, baby, fuck.” 

“God, you sound so good,” you smile a little, forehead resting on his shoulder before your head falls down against your pillow again “I love you,” he repeats against your lips, letting your hands go to cup your face with both of his again “I love you so much.” 

Teetering over the edge, you feel happy tears stinging in your eyes. Though closed, you can feel San’s stare on you, on your face, on the way you react to his sweet words and relentless pace. 

You say it back in a whisper and he repeats it again and again and again until you're both coming and tears are spilling down your cheeks. 

He kisses them away. 

You wipe his with trembling fingers as you come down, having trouble breathing from everything that just happened. 

You don't feel suffocated anymore, you feel like you've been freed. Like this was supposed to happen at some point and you two finally got around to it. 

“I love you,” he says once more before slipping out of you with a parting kiss. 

Holy shit. 

When San gets up from the bed and you point him to the bathroom, down the hallway, you're left with a sticky mess in between your legs and a lot to think about but you settle on four things. 

San just made love to you. There's no way that was just sex. 

There's also no way you're coming back from this. 

Gyuri is probably going to kill you. 

And that, obviously, your feelings for San never left. You feel the familiar warmth of them spreading through your post-orgasmic state. They're there, mocking you, asking you who the fuck you thought you were for pushing them away. 

He returns, toilet paper in his hands before leaning in and cleaning you up, lips immediately finding home on your skin as he does. 

You both giggle at that.

You probably need to shower but you've been crying and there's no way you're leaving this bed tonight. He throws the paper away on your bedroom’s trashcan and then crashes into the bed next to you, still naked, still looking at you with so much love you're wondering what stopped you from seeing it was there before. 

Taking his hand, you bring it to his lip and give his knuckles a peck “That was really good.” 

“It was.” 

“I can't believe we actually just did that…” 

He smiles and what he says next shocks you even more than his confession “I want to take you out.” 

“San… You just came inside me not even ten minutes ago.” 

“And?” you laugh and he shakes his head, leaning into your space again “I spent many years doing everything wrong, let me do it the right way.” 

“Making love to me one time and then taking me out on a date is not the right way, sir.” 

He nuzzles your cheek with his nose and you let out a pleased sigh “Who said it was just one time, huh?” Attacking your neck with his lips again, you push him away with a laugh. 

“Oh, come on!” 

He laughs as well “Give me ten minutes and I'll make it two!” 

San makes love to you two more times. And by four in the morning, you're snuggled into his arms and sleeping soundly. 

When you wake up and find the space next to you empty, you think it was all a dream. Your naked form begs to differ and you quickly put the t-shirt you usually wear to bed on and your panties underneath it to go out and face the feelings of your actions fighting with the blender in the kitchen. 

“How do you two live with this stupid thing?” 

“We don't,” you answer, startling him “We don't use it. What are you trying to make?” 

San’s shirtless, wearing his pants and his hair messy. Looking back at the living room clock, you see it's just five past ten. 

Smiling as he approaches you, you forget you must look a mess too when he pecks your lips and barely pulls away “Good morning, beautiful.” 

You pretend to cringe at that, pulling away “Oh, God. Morning, dumbass.” 

“You like it, you're blushing,” he points out and the pink on your cheek deepens as he's going back to the blender “Does anything work here?” 

“The microwave,” you shrug “And the stove. Were you trying to make yourself a…” you look over the ingredients he has pulled out of your fridge “Green juice?” 

“I was trying to make both of us a green juice,” he corrects and your heart skips at the immediate domestic attitude he has with you “But now I can tell neither of you drink anything like it, hm? I'm buying you a blender.” 

“Please don't.” 

“Why?” 

“Why do you think that one is broken?” 

He hums, huffing out a laugh seconds later and you walk over to him, unsure on how to approach him even though what you did yesterday night and earlier this morning didn't allow your shyness to step in. 

Now you're feeling it. 

He can tell, because he stops fighting with the steel appliances to grab your waist and pull you close “I wanted to make you breakfast.” 

“We can make breakfast together and I can order your green juice,” you compromise and he nods, but he doesn't let you go “And later we can go out on that date you promised me yesterday and we can go over what we're going to tell the two idiots.” 

His smile drops. 

“Oh, fuck.” 

Grimacing, you nod “It was the second thing I thought about after waking up.” 

“What was the first?” 

“Oh, I was trying to remember if you ever asked me to dance before,” he nods with a smile “Guess what? You didn't.” 

He fake gasps at that “I did!” 

“No, you didn't!” 

“Babe, yes I did,” he insists and you laugh, which prompts him to wrap his hands around you tighter when you try to get away from him “It was when—” 

“Oh. My. God. I'm going to be sick again.” 

Now when the fuck did Gyuri come back. 

And why is Wooyoung with her too, jaw slack as he watches both of you pull away from each other and create a safe distance that doesn't help whatever your best friends just saw. 

“It worked?” he asks and you can barely hear him until he hollers like a crazy person “Oh, it worked! I am a genius!” 

“Wooyoung, hold me! I'm going to kill them!” Gyuri looks like she's about to launch towards you at any second now, so you close your eyes and accept your fate. But nothing happens “Wait— What worked?” 

When you open them again, San is hiding behind you and Gyuri’s back is to both of you as she looks at Wooyoung with, what you assume, murderous intentions. 

“Gyuri, let's talk about this,” the black haired guy puts his hands up “You were too drunk to discuss it so I made the choice of— Gyuri, no!” 

You burst into laughter when she starts chasing him around the apartment and San giggles as well, only more nervous than delighted by their little cat and mouse game. 

He's probably sensing he's next on her hit list. 

As if you would let anything happen to him in the first place. 

“Stop, stop! I'm sorry, please leave me alone!” you hear Wooyoung’s voice echoing through your hall and in a second he's entering the kitchen, rounding you and San “I'm so happy for you guys, really, this was meant to happ— Stop!” He cries when Gyur catches onto him and yanks his hair to stop him from running.  

“Y/N,” she starts, chest heaving and you take a step back, crashing into San’s chest. He holds onto you only to push you a little and protect himself from the fury of your best friend “When I told you fuck him I didn't meant this!” 

“I know.” 

Wooyoung whines but he can't get away from her grasp so he just accepts it and pouts like a child. 

“A-and you!” She points towards the guy resting his chin on your shoulder “How dare you! If this is something casual for you then—” 

“I love her.” He defends himself quickly and your heart all but stops at that. 

“You do?” Wooyoung coos, amazed at his best friend’s confession. 

Gyuri's anger falters at that. 

“You… You do?” 

“And I love him,” you let out in a shy whisper, smiling a bit “But you already knew that.” 

“Of course I already knew that, bitch, I am your other half,” she makes a point to stare at San as she says it, letting Wooyoung go and he massages the part of his scalp that was targeted by his ex “Don't forget that.” 

“Y-yes ma'am.” 

You laugh again and Woo joins the embrace, eyeing you both expectantly and rolling his eyes when neither of you say anything to him “Well, you are so welcome guys. What are we having for breakfast?” 

You and San don't get to go out on that date. 

But when you do, he asks you to be his girlfriend the next day. 

And when you say yes he almost breaks down in excited tears.

Eventually, even Gyuri comes around and threatens him into treating you right, which means he earned her seal of approval. 

You delete the document on your laptop when you find it a month into being his girlfriend and, instead, start drafting your new beginning on it, in first person this time because the story doesn't feel like it belongs to someone else now.

The first line read as it follows: 

How did I ever think San and I could be just friends? 

If you read all the way down here: THANK YOU SO MUCH. Any feedback would be greatly appreciated!

© jensthwa, 2024.

[izurathespookyskeleton]

I started a list of Sonic 3 movie predictions/bingo stuff imma just leave them here and update it until the movie comes out.

Some of these have came from set leaks/story board leaks (kinda) just a warning!!

• Shadow voiced by Keanu Reaves

• Voiced by Christian Bale

• Voiced by Robert Pattinson

• Voiced by Hayden Christiansen

• Shadow riding a motorcycle?

• Shadow/Sonic air skating???

• Somebody does the floss (…)

• “he’s right behind me isn’t he?” Or along those lines

• Stone has a main villain moment (🙏)

• Badass Agent Stone

• Stone getting handcuffed again (a girl could hope)

• Stone getting a change of wardrobe (fancy villain suit like the fanarts)

• Robotnik using Gen z slang

• Rototnik making a pop culture reference

• Robotnik says Slay

• Maidnik…

• More dancing scenes🙏

• Another random but popular actor makes an appearance.

• More metal music from Robotnik (still clutching to that hc he listens to metal)

• A girl could imagine he listens to Depeche Mode

• Stone dies??!!

• Robotnik dies part 2

• Stone gets a hand in his mouth again…

• Pin urself to the wall part 2!!!???

• Snapcube reference? (One could hope)

• I Am…All Of Me - Crush 40 in the soundtrack.

• We got coffee shop au in the last movie can we get another troupe :3 (watch it be major character death or like angst…)

• If Stobotnik gets a kiss scene (most unlikely) throw a party. Make a Stobotnik cake, treat urself to a restaurant candle lit dinner. (Not counting on it as much as I want it)

• ORRRR if they do get a gay scene they’re gonna do the media curse for gay ppl and kill one of them off. 😣

• Stobotnik hug scene (pls pls pls pls pls)

• They share a lair. (Like them damn bank accounts)

• Take a shot everytime Stone stares lovingly at the doctor

• Matching outfits???☹️

• Sonic and Robotnik have to work together at some point???

• DAMSEL IN DISTRESS ROBOTNIK!! GET HIS MAN TO SAVE HIM!!!!🗣️

• Stone in action (lemme see this man toss somebody pretty pls)

• Can these guys be as touchy as they were in the bts and deleted scenes pls😭😭 jfc

• LMAO Agent Stone name reveal?

• Face grab part ???

• Kid Cudi gives us another banger?

[onlymingyus]

Felt you on your love for Josh. The Joshus brainrot has been hitting lately. This might be a hot take but, I think Joshua has a bit of exhibitionist in him. He strikes me as the type to enjoy fucking you and, knowing that other people can likely hear the two of you. You try your best to be quiet but, he teases you about and tells you he wants to hear you. Slowing down his thrusts everytime you try to be quiet.

Also, team wine drunk lmao. Had a bottle myself yesterday. Not sure if your hard hours are still open but, I thought it was worth a shot sending my down badness for Josh in

You are preaching to the choir (puns intended when it comes to Shua) when it comes to this man and him being full of kinks. See to me, imo...he plays that "gentleman" role so well and too much that the moment the door is closed that man is a walking list of kinks. I can for sure see exhibitionism being very high up on that list because I can also see corruption being VERY high up there for him.

Also feel free to stop by any time, even if I'm not doing a hard hours. ♥

(afab reader -- mentions cheol and jeonghan)

Joshua smiles against your ear, his soft pretty lips dragging along the shell of it as he holds your leg up to his hip. You were trying to hard to stay quiet, your back against the wall next to the door that you knew wasn't locked, but every single thrust of his cock caused you to lose more of your resolve.

To Joshua, watching you trying so hard to stay quiet while he knew that his friends were just down the hall was almost as good as the feeling of your pussy clenching around him. He had told you to be a good girl for him, to keep quiet so you wouldn't draw in an audience but deep down he knew there was no way you could.

He didn't want you to stay quiet. His plan was to have you screaming his name and begging for his cock before he would let you cum. He wanted Jeonghan and Seungcheol to know exactly what was happening. It wasn't like they were idiots anyway, there was no reason for the two of you to be gone this long already.

"Shh, angel...what if Jeonghan hears you? What would he say? What would Seungcheol do? Hmm? You think they would just sit in the living room and not want to find out why you sound so fucking pretty?"

You apologize on a moan, your teeth catching your lips though you knew exactly what he was doing. You had played this game with him so many times. Joshua's eyes drawn to how hard you are holding your skin, he's afraid you'll cause a bruise or worse draw blood so he leans to kiss your lips making you forget what you were doing in place of moaning into his mouth.

One sharp jerk of his hips makes you yelp out his name followed by a drawn out "please....feels so good." Joshua smirks on your jaw his hand sliding to grip your ass.

"Yeah? How good? Tell me?" You shake your head wanting to stay quiet but he slows down making you feel like you are going to cry you want him so badly. Joshua listens to you beg, his hips meeting yours hard granting him what he had wanted you all but screaming his name.

There was no way Seungcheol and Jeonghan hadn't heard that. "Naughty little angel. You are so loud." Joshua watches you smirk knowing you were just as excited as he was.

Hard Hours are closed.

[leclerced]

Just a thought on hitman!max and handler!reader...

What if max has never met his handler and only knows her with a specific accent or something (bc handler confidentiality). But she also goes out on missions (because you gotta get that bread ykwim) and they cross paths during a mission and he obviously doesn't realize who she is and she has to save his life because she's so much more experienced than him and he hates that so everytime they see each other he gets more and more pissed and they fuck about it. But after a while he starts suspecting something and he finds out somehow without her knowing and he keeps up the act bc he realises he's in too deep... But one time while she's handling him (lmao) he calls her by her real name and it all implodes and she shows up at his place (that only she knows about) and they fight and have nasty sex because they realise thay've found the only other person in the world that can handle each other's lifestyles...

I just think that would be hot ya know?

waittt this is fun! adding read more for general hitman!max warning.

he's angry that someone intruded on his fight the first time. he'd taken out his target and was out of the building when he bumped into some security, but whoever he's fighting drops dead as a gunshot rings out and he barely catches a glimpse of the mystery woman before she's gone. she lets him catch her, follow her back to a hotel bar where she orders them both a drink and waits for him to approach. she expects him to ask who she is, and gives him a fake name, and he knows it's fake but doesn't press on it right then. he asks why she keeps saving him. she teases him and says he's too pretty to die and it pisses him off because he definitely would not have died, he had it handled. he thinks her voice is familiar but can't place it so he hangs around to hear more, to try and figure out where he knows it from. they end up back in her hotel room and there's a fight for dominance before he has her pinned beneath him and she's begging for his touch.

she's gone when he wakes up and he has a text from his handler asking why he missed his flight, asking if he's okay, why he didn't check in. obviously, she knows exactly why, but she has to play the part of a concerned handler to throw him off her trail. it works, and he doesn't even consider she might be the mystery woman who saved his ass. it happens again a few weeks later on another hit, he's fighting someone and doesn't hear a second person enter the room until a gunshot goes off and the fighting stills for a moment as max and his opponent both search for the source of the shot. there's a dead body in a matching suit to his opponent, and when max turns, he sees the mystery woman with a gun. he briefly worries she's about to kill him but then the second shot goes off and his opponent is dead, the knife he was about to stab into max's ribs clattering on the floor.

reader teases him for getting distracted and he tells her he wouldn't have if she hadn't fired, and she counters that if she hadn't fired the other guy would have and max would be dead. he can't argue with that but he still tells her he had it handled even though he hadn't even noticed the other guy and would most certainly be dead like she said. they escape together and he tries asking why she's there and she tells him she was just saving his ass again, which bruises his ego because he certainly does not like being the damsel in distress.

she tells him her name after he finally saves her ass, he wasn't even on a job, just visiting someone in the city, but by pure coincidence he stumbles upon her, escaping the building he's residing in. he helps her take out the goons and she's just like him, adamant that she had it handled even though there were three men twice her size surrounding her. he tries to ask what she was doing there, but she won't tell him unless he tells her why he's there. she thought he was in italy and now he's in new york? she hasn't given him any work so she really has no clue what he's doing there and it bothers her that he won't tell her and she shouldn't tell him she's there to take someone out, no one is supposed to know and max catching her complicates things. she should kill him for it, because he's a loose end and if he's here then it means he just might be allied to whoever she took out in some way. but she can't do that.

she makes him promise not to tell anyone she was there, and he only agrees if she tells him her name. she panics and gives her real name, because if she gives any of her codenames he'll recognize it. there's no way he knows her real name. he agrees not to tell anyone he saw her, and keeps his word and stays silent the next morning when his host is freaking out about one of his superior officers being taken out in the dead of the night and no evidence left behind. he knows it was her, the mystery woman, and wonders what she was doing the night before.

it's awhile later that he connects the dots, she says something he's heard her say after fucking once and he calls her by her name before he can stop himself. the call immediately disconnects and he knows he's massively fucked up. he doesn't hear from her until hours later, there's a banging at his door and he's convinced she sent someone to kill him. max opens the door to find her, and relaxes a little but keeps his guard up because he thinks she might still kill him for what he knows.

she's just angry he used her name on an unsecured line and gives him an earful about it, about being reckless, asking if he wants to get them killed and he interrupts her by kissing her and while she's stunned into silence he apologizes for it, says he wasn't thinking and asks if he can make it up to her. she wants the power, she's still angry about her using her real name, but he won't give it up for her because he likes being in control, he loves the way she can take control from him but he's not used to being out of control so he takes it back each time.

they have to talk afterwards, and she apologizes for not telling him who she was in the beginning and she comes clean about all the extra jobs she does, how she's not just his handler and explains why she was in each of the cities performing her own odd jobs while he was performing hits for her, admitting that sometimes she used him as a distraction while she performed her job then stumbled across him and decided to interrupt it and make him leave with her because her job was done.

[applbottmjeens]

NATIONAL ANTHEM.

Phillip Graves x OC

tags: MDNI 18+ OOOO THEY FUCKIN (smut, it isnt good tho), petnames, DADDY KINK, sugaring implied lowkey, some dacryphilia, unprotected sex (pls use protection y'all), age gap (anna is 26 and phillip is like, 40), phillip is a whimperer ok, switchy sex, i cannot write sex for the life of me

summary: Phillip takes Anna to dinner. Anna takes Phillip in a hotel room. I shouldn't have written this LMAO.

CIRCA MW2

It was supposed to be a one time thing. Just to say she did. Just to say she fucked the Shadow Company commander- for the bit. And then it happened again. In his office. In her room. Once while he was on the phone. A couple times in a car.

It wasn't even on purpose either. The tension between them just kept building up everytime she had the audacity to talk back to him. 

She didn't expect it to be so damn addicting. For him to be talking one moment and for him to be inbetween her legs another.

Red lipstick marks on the white sheets. His blue eyes, shot out and gazing at every single inch of her body like it's not hers.

It's his.

It's his.

He approached her not long before work ended and she was gonna head home.

"Wear something pretty tonight. We're going to dinner." 

"You asking me on a date, Commander?"

"Not asking."

It was hot. He knew what kind of man he was and what he wanted from her. She put perfume on her ankles and wore red lipstick that smudged- 

He liked it when it smudged.

"Oh shit…" She curses underneath her breath, a giggle leaving her lips before he spanks her, grabbing onto the flesh of her ass and thigh, leaving her ass adorably sore…

Phillip liked leaving his mark. Hand prints on her ass, teeth marks on her collarbone. He'd tattoo his name on her if he could get away with it. Good pussy made you crazy like that.

 

It also made him a whimperer. Begging for her to keep going, keep making him feel good.

"Keep ridin' me Annie- Fuck." Graves begs, hips rolling on top. Her dress isn't even all the way off, the thin black fabric rolled up over her belly button, the piercing peeking underneath. His hand goes over her abdomen, pressing down and making her moan so loud. 

He's such a blabbering mess when he gives her control, whining and begging, promising her he'd be good. He didn't know it at the time, but he'd be begging and promising her like that for the rest of his days. 

 It's stupid. He's going stupid and she grins watching him curse and whimper until she shuts him up with her tongue the way she likes to when his voice gets too fucking annoying.

"Mmmph..Doing good, Commander." She says low, against this lips, his hand moving to push her head for another kiss.

God. He's so pretty. She loves how ruined and desperate his face is, how his neatly parted blonde hair gets so damn messy when she has her way. For a man in his forties he was so damn cute. 

They shouldn't be doing this. 

But the way her teeth marks line up with freckles on his chest and the way his accent gets so much thicker when he's losing his mind-

She can't help herself. She'll slather on all the pretty red lipstick and wear all the white diamonds he buys her if it means she gets to witness him like this more.

This isn't love. She reminds herself. Just a way for her to drain his credit card and for him to get off.

His grip tightens on her hips, thumbs pressing over stretch marks and scars from muscle gained and fights nearly lost. 

"I'm close, babe. C’mon…" He whines and moves his hands up her body in a way that makes her gasp before she snaps and pins his hands above his head, leaning over his face.

"Not. Yet." She says firmly, that smugness returning when she sees how desperate and whimpery he is.

More whimpers. She's got him on a hold and he loves it, he hates it, and he doesn't have a clue why he lets her do this to him. “Fuck baby…” 

"Didn't make me get all pretty for you just for you to finish so early, huh?" She teases, grinning down at him, the smirk faltering when he moves deeper. 

He takes the opportunity to pull her close, turning the tables as his lips whisper into her ear, taking back control-

“I'm gonna fill you up, Annie.” He growls and kneads her ass with one hand and tangles his fingers in her dark hair with the other, keeping a grip on her. “Over…And over…’til I'm sure that needy lil’ cunt o'yours can't get off from anythin’ else…” 

His words aren't just words. She bottoms out and she can feel him take control, making her tremble and cum before he does. 

“Fuck- P-please…I-” Anna can't even speak now. He smiles with triumph.

“C'mon sugar. Use your words for Daddy..” He chuckles, kissing onto her neck as he controlled how her hips moved. “Tell me what y'want…”

Anna can't think, she hates it. Hates that she's losing. Sex between them was a competition and somehow she always lost.

His pace slows and she whines before he smacks her ass to snap her out of it.

“Don't be goin’ dumb on my cock yet, Anna.” He pulls her hair to gaze at her fucked out face, makeup ruined and eyes oh so prettily hazy.

“Be good f'me…” 

“Need you..” She whines, losing as she realizes how submissive she was getting. “I really need you to fuck me, Daddy please-”

The smug grin on Phillip's face as he turned her over and kissed her softly. “Atta girl…” He chuckles with satisfaction, looking down at her before he starts to move his hips again, agonizingly slow and gentle as he teases her.

She'd had her playtime, edging him and bouncing on his cock so excitedly...

Now it was his turn to make her suffer.

“Pussy had me worked up all day, baby..” He speaks low, piercing blue eyes gazing down at her. “Thought of you so much..” He moans and moves slower, Anna's arms around his neck as she tears up under him from the overstimulation.

He starts to move the pace a bit quicker, hands traveling up and down as he kissed on her neck, little whimpers and soft moans leaving her lips. 

“So fucking pretty…” He gazes at her with satisfaction, feeling himself get closer and closer..

This was how he liked his wild child of a sergeant. Mind melted and all submissive. Too caught up in how he was makin' her feel to talk back and be disrespectful.

She can't even speak now. He's won. First round was always to see who got to be in control.

The rest of ‘em was when the real fun began.

“Tell me.” He grabs her face to make her look up at him. “Who owns this cunt, baby?”

“Y-you-”

“Louder.” 

“You- Own me! All of me-”

“Good girl..”

His hands move to shift himself deeper into the mattress. Deeper. He feels himself whimpering her name, gasping and pulling her close as his hips snap into her as he comes.

He doesn't pull out, Phillip's lips meeting Anna's as she whimpers, mascara running as tears welled up from overstim, his thumbs wiping off the leaky mascara he loved.

It was hard. They were both horribly stubborn and eager to egg on one another, only Anna never knew when to fucking quit and admit this was something more than just sex in a hotel room.

And it lead them to moments like this.

Every time.

[latteandjacks]

Now, watching Mammon's magnificent blah blah to lazy i'm sorry

This is going to be a looooooong post

(Containing laughter everytime the name Mammon appears on screen because in Mexico and without one m it's a word to say call someone an egocentric ot an asshole or both)

"Women aren't funny" WOW MAN I KNOW IS HELL BUT HOW ARE YOU NOT CANCELLED¿

"He can eat my ass, in a bad way"

Blitz your fucking disgusting

HE SAID IT, OZZIE CALLED BLITZ BLITZ AND NOT BLITZO, YES, YEEESSSSSS

I know and I know and I know Ozzie is right and Mammon is definilty abusing Fizz and he's an asshole and Ozzie is trying to help but I really really don't like how he words things because out of context it sounds really bad but again I know Mammon is a bitch

Me: "Oh wow Ozzie hired Blitz and other guard, the guard looks like him, probably someone strong because Blitz is mainly there to convince Fizz, right?" "Wait THAT'S OZZIE?? HOW IS HE- HOW IS HE SO THIN-"

Ozzie Ily but srsly you need to learn to communicate with your partner

I really hate how it looks like the upper arms are coming out of Mammon's chest I really hate that

STOP GRABBING HIM LIKE HE'S A TOY NOOOO

BLITZ ILY YOU TOO BUT RULE #1 OF SEEING YOUR FRIEND CLEARLY BEING MENTALLY ABUSED BY SOMEONE WHO HAS POWER OVER THEM: GAIN THAT PERSON TRUST FIRST HAND SO YOU CAN WORK BETTER INTO GETTING YOUR FRIEND AWAY FROM THEM WITHOUT RISKING YOUR FRIENDS SAFETY

"He thinks he's funny" "Offended"

FIZZ NO

Ooooh who are these two, oooooh no I don't like their designs

I'm dying, Blitz insulting the blue twins and Fizz possing like trying to replicate Blitz sass but not really

Blitz NO you're making it worse help you're giving him more pressure

Ooooooh I like this "song" I like it a lot

NO THE GIRL WITH $ TITS FELL NOOOOHOO 😭

Istg if the creep from the beginning comes back i'm going to chew my shoes

WAIT ARE THE HORNS LIKE THEIR EARS?? THEY HEAR TROUGH THAT?? OMG THE KID IS SO CUTE THIS SCENE IS GOING TO MAKE ME CRY???

FIZZ KNOWS SIGN LANGUAGE I'M CRYING AND I'M NOT KIDDING THERE'S TEARS ON MY FACE

(Takes a break to chill the fuck out)

Aight

FUCK HE DID CAME BACK, BLITZ, SHOT 'EM Okay help he's a discord mod isn't he Pixar villain complex

I'm sad because I know Fizz really greatly appreciates what Blitz did but will probably not be able to say anything

Yeah, called it, fuck you Mamon I'm going to call him Mamon now idc he deserves it

HE SAID IT! "Good enough for WHAT?"

Oh you're cool I like you a lot

GOOD SONG BUT I STILL HATE YOU TWO

Oh God no the makeup it's going to be really bad right? This is going to be really bad

HE CAN'T FIT NOHOOOOO

Okay I can't even like HE THINKS OZZIE IS WITH HIM BECAUSE HE BECAME FAMOUS FOR MAMMON AND I'M FUCKING CRYING

HE TOOK OFF HIS HAT HE THINKS OZZIE ONLY LIKES HIM AT HIS BEST I CANNOT BE FUCKING KINING THIS JESTER THIS MUCH THIS IS UNFAIR

Okay Ozzie again ILY BUT THE WAY HE MOVES LMAO SDGHABNM, NO NVM, I LOVE HIM EVEN MORE

ANOTHER ONE?? IT REALLY IS A MUSICAL HUH Should've seen it coming

Whatever is Ozzie and Fizz is going to be my favorite song of the episode

"You're messy but i'm messy too" MDHFDDGSH

They kiss, i'm losing it

B L I T Z

Hey who the fuck put me into Helluva Boss

ANOTHER SONG, AND IF IT'S ABOUT WHAT I THINK IT'S GONNA BE I WILL BE SOOOO HAPPY

I would comment on what Mammon said but I need to make the image or else it won't work

"It's about you" "w h a t"

HE CALLED MAMON A CUCK, YOU GO FIZZ DO WHAT MANY OF US COULDN'T DO

Mamon clapping at the performance even tho he knows it's about him is like the same AND opposite vibe of Bruno vibing to his family talking shit about him and Idk how to describe it

Okay but everyone thought it was like a random song he thought it was catchy and when he said Mamon's name everyone just started to process the lyrics He called him out of his abuse and everyone will realize how much he sucks now, at least a lot of them will

THE KIDDDDDDDD

God I was so worried that they were going to do THAT gag, i'm glad it was just Mamon becoming a weird spider

Damn Ozzie that's hot (Pun intended)

THEY ADDMITTED IT, THEY'RE FREE, THEY'RE GDSHADBHAKJLCNDVJAKL I'm those fans screaming in the background that's me, that's us all

"You're going to regret revealing that Ozz" Oh shit these three WILL come back won't they?

[nonbinarylocalcryptid]

MAG9 - A Father's Love, more quotes and reviews

*rolls in a yellow office chair* heeeeellllllooooooo and welcome back to another episode of my current hyperfixation

let's play a game, everytime Julia says some variation of "my father was a serial killer when I was little" everybody takes a shot

this episode feels to me, after cursed books and trash bags full of teeth, like this quotes from John Mulaney

(Transcript: John Mulaney saying "You know those days where you're like, this may as well happen?")

Like, you come here to have a good time, pulse play, and the very first thing Julia says is MY FATHER WAS A MURDERER. Damn, it escalates really quickly xD

Don't get me wrong, this story it's tragic and all that, it's just my inability to take anything seriously talking. It didn't scare me tho, but I was disturbed by its "normality" ngl

Quote Time:

Nothing to quote from Julia's statement, sorry for that, but well, I must admit that her story is not sth philosophical or funny, so I don't Know what did I expect.

"(...)a small cult that grew around the defrocked Pentecostal minister Maxwell Rayner in London during the late eighties and early nineties. I knew I recognised the name from Statement 1106922 though, currently, it just looks like a coincidence. - Jon Sims, April 10th 2016

lmao Jon, a coindence, he says. You know nothing, Jon Snow blah blah blah

"Robert Montauk died in Wakefield Prison on November 1st 2002. He was stabbed forty-seven times and bled out before anyone found him. After reading this statement, three points of interest occur: no culprit or weapon was ever found connected to the killing; he was apparently alone in his cell at the time, which was supposed to be locked; and at the time of his death the light bulb in his cell was found to have blown out, leaving him in darkness." - Also Jon Jarchivist Sims

"Recording ends." - Said by Jon, calmly, like he didn't unlocked a new level of my insomnia.

Small review:

*insert cheerful voice from teleshopping comercials* do you want second hand trauma? are you in the need of unblocking a new phobia? you are in the correct place!

Every single time there's a Rayner in the podcast is like, uh, another weirdo, and it's not like Jon is the most normal person ever, it's just so freaking funny, like that snail from Adventure Time, you Know?

Tragedy, tragedy, and more tragedy with a side of worldbuilding that tastes like a filler episode. If it looks like a filler, tastes like a filler and sounds like a filler, is it a filler? (no)

The post-statement part it's not funny, it's straight up academic follow up of a succession of facts and then it hits you with that last paragraph like a hammer.

General overview:

Vibe: it starts straight to the point, no detours, and keeps escalating constantly while you mutter wtfwtfwtfwtf and then it just kills you

Horror: it's not spooky, it's worrying, disturbing

Audio: good audio

Humour: the only funny thing here is how I thought I was going to sleep that night (I didn't)

Score: 10/10

[purpleofluck]

What if...

Random ideas mainly centered around takemichi (bc he is my baby girl) that I hope to write a one shot of or short chapters work about later on (idk when lmao)

▪︎Takemichi, a complex-level puzzle designer (on etsy), needs a roommate but is super paranoid after watching too many crime shows and listening to unsolved mysteries podcast. Puts the most ridiculous, off-putting ad.

Only one answers.

Pairing: NahoyaxTake

▪︎Takemichi as an eldritch being of deep, deep sea. Loves taste of human males. Occasionally comes close to land/beach. By chance meets Emma. Two bond. Monsterf*cking definitely involved 😋

Pairing: TakexEmmaxTake (Takemichi is technically genderless but morphs both human genders (occasionally mixing it up aka futanari or bussy😉)) might add draken idk

▪︎secret hard-core fanfic writer, especially of fluff and smut. Takemichi sees "romance" everywhere. Ships drakenxemma so hard - their number #1 fan (and secretly writes about them with different names and genre). Always internally screaming/squealing/cheering everytime he sees what he consider romance pairings, even strangers aren't safe. Lot of internal monologing. Learns to translate English for his fanfic and other fellow fanfic writers- his one best grade in school lol. Misses a few gang meetings bc of deadlines.

Pairing: either fuyutake or taijutake (I swear it makes sense in my brain, idk how to explain why though lmao)

▪︎Takemichi gets a surprise baby brother (thanks to missing, nameless dad plot hole). He's about 16/17 whereas rest of tomen are in their mid 20s. In a series of event Tk becomes sugar baby to support his baby (bro).

Pairing: AllTake

▪︎BNHAxTR crossover. Set in dawn of quirks, all out world wars/civil wars - very apocalyptic, dystopian. Tk in apocalyptic outfit (gasmask, scarfs, thick jacket, cargo pants, hiking backpack, a gun holster on his thigh for his handmade glock, and carries an AR in hand as he travels). He does have power related to time. I'm thinking similar to Eri from BNHA (he's a great great grandaddy? Maybe). Maybe he has horns or something to indicate he is using his powers (quirk). His power (quirk) would be like a remote: fast forward, pause or stop, and rewind. Very powerful but requires touch of all five fingers and enough power in stock (horn) to use. He helps other powered people especially kids (that are abandoned or being hunted down by military or hate groups). Unites many who want freedom from hate groups, creepy scientists, and militarization government.

pairing(s): undecided half tempted AfOxTake or maybe 1st OfAxTake, maybe some one-sided from TR boys and girls lol

▪︎og timeline takemichi somehow becomes responsible for caring for a reborn!Ace d. Portagus. Follows them as they become family with random gangsters flirting with an oblivious Takemichi, much to Ace’s displeasure. Good thing he found an iron plumbing pipe to bash heads in.

Pairing: mix bag, probably allTake

▪︎ instead of timetraveling power, Takemichi can heal but takes the same amount of pain in return (not physical of it, like bleeding.)

Pairing: bajitake

▪︎takemichi gets possessed by a dead woman looking for her lover to say a proper goodbye. Not a constant possession and it took him awhile to figure out he was possessed. The dead woman, in disbelief, finally wrote a note and taped it to his face (she needs help since she can't fully possess for long period of times). He (after a major freakout) helps her with the search. In return she makes decent meals bc she firmly believes even idiots can't live off on convenience food. Tk friends/gang notice the strangeness and eerie feeling they get from him (her)

Pairing: muchotake? Probably a little to out there maybe shintake?

▪︎ a/b/o with full animal shifting. Predator/prey society. Similar vibes to Zootopia with anti-predator sentiments. Takemichi is a Predadator Omega (pred. O are stronger than prey A). His Very Sad Backstory: his dam (a wolf, Japanese native) was murdered in a hate crime, his sire (from Canada, wolverine) went mad with grief and killed her mate's killers then died of a broken heart. He becomes an activist (while internally battling with antiprey thoughts - he doesn't want to be a hateful person but he is extremely reserved around prey and their mob mentality).

-I was thinking maybe he has a few pups already (different sires lol), since most predators don't settle down and he took after his sire as a wolverine who don't typically mate with just one. His sire was atypical in that respect.

-Tomen are all domestic cats with few being wild cats (hakkai and the twins). Domestic animal shifters (cats and dogs) tend be looked down on by both prey/predator

-The pups are probably reborned ASL brothers 😂

This idea might expand into several chapters 🤔

Pairing: Undecided

That's all for now probably more later lol

[zhongrin]

Iddjbdkekbs plssss no need to dodbsksbs (hehe, I know <33)

True that!! He is a combination of both!! <33

Ikr?? So so cute!! (He surely marks you up everytime he is drunk - so be prepared hehe~)

He will giggle and he will cup your face by your cheeks and kiss your face all over while he coos cute praises

Djiddbjsksksk YES. TOTALLY. like one second he could be "I love you s'much, angel~ let's get married soon~" ("Bai, we already are married.") And other second he is "did you know that *insert random fact about anything here with a logical explanation*"

Rin I would even carry him if I wouldn't be so weak dkshsbjsskks

WAIT I DO NEED WHAT???? *faints again*

..... Rin.

You can't tell me you only wanted to draw him blushing. He is shirtless. And and.. I get the feeling something is going on down there (real footage of you giving him head, can't tell me otherwise)

🤨📸

Hehe~ I will I will, don't worry~ <33

.. Rin whatcha doin with this clipboard?

IKR?? FKDHSJKSJNN ITS SO CUTE LIKE SJSHSJIS STAN MEITHAM AND ZHONGRIN!! 💞💞

Hdkidbssiisb omg I am sobbing;; teapot and special bookmark;; do they have any details like

What's on the teapot and on the bookmark? 💞 A special design? A quote? Anything? ❤️

Ikr ikr and his hair is so LONG. but Baizhu is patient with me and always chuckles a bit about my (failed) attempts at the beginning

Hair oil? I don't use, and I don't think Baizhu does either.. his hair seems like the ✨naturally perfect✨type to me (like himself.)

And yes he does, often when we cuddle and I lay my head on his chest he begins to play with my hair (or when I give him head PLS IM SORRY.)

So yea <33

What about you and your husband's? Do they play with your hair and do you play with theirs? ❤️

Lmao it's finee 😭💞

Oh Zhongli would totally do that, brewing coffee for his adorable wifey anytime she needs it <33 he really is more the tea type LMAO. Consider you drinking coffee and Zhongli drinking tea while talking about everything 💞💞 and yes. He would scold you and make you sleep in.. special ways. <3

Oh em gee, imagine you wake up and the first thing you see ins Alhaitham shirtless - working out - his abs and muscles shining in the sunrise. ❤️ PLS THAT'S SO CUTE FOR SOME REASON, him reading and you curling aaaaa kdbdisoks

Baivi hmm

Who wakes up first? Quite a hard question because both Baizhu and me are quite early birds.. so I would say - it's changing quite often, hehe <3 (pls Baizhu is either an early bird or an insomniac or both somehow)

When Baizhu first wakes up, I am sure he first looks at me and admires a bit (pls imagine just the both of us simping for the other one so much, but Baizhu being more subtle with it) before he gets up to cook breakfast

When he has to wake me up - he would do it by planting many kisses all over my face while repeatedly saying my name or some nicknames <33

Baizhu is responsible for breakfast. Pls I can't cook for shit and I would rather eat a bitter breakfast than having the kitchen burnt down. Lmao.

Now same questions to you!! <33❤️

ofc you need that daily dose of baizhu every day 24/7 vi what are you saying (i am weak in the knees pls)

he can mark me all he wants <3 and i'll gladly show it off if he wanna <3 ;))

hsldjfklsjdf brb crying that's. that's so cute al haitham giggling oml what's genshin equivalent of a video recorder i need it NOW-

plssss you taking care of your drunk hubby 😭 omg you know the qiqi carrying xiao meme. is. is that you trying to carry drunk passed out baizhu back home helpjsdklfjksldjf

MOUTH TO MOUTH RESUSCITATION (WITH TONGUE) VI DON'T YOU WORRY WE'LL SAVE YOU BAIZHU WILL SAVE YOU

real footage of you giving him head, can't tell me otherwise

................ maybe? /shot

WHATS WITH THE CAMERA VI-

hmmmmm? just uh. scientific notes. dw about it ☺️

AND WHILE YOU'RE AT IT STAN BAIVI!!!! 💞

zhongli's teapot has a dragon pattern painted onto it and the teapot cover + cups have a lil 3d dragon on the bottom. kinda like these:

and haitham's bookmark is something made of metal, kinda like this:

except it's a hawk and at the end of the little chain is a green coloured tassel hehe

hbu what kind of presents have you given baizhu and/or baizhu has given you? :D

oh that's adorable and oh yes he would gently play with your hair while you give him head to let you know you're doing so well, hoping you'll take it just a little bit deeper-

with zhongli, YES. he has his own hair oil concoction and makes it his duty to help me with it + with drying my hair after i get out from the shower. he loves seeing it all silky and now i smell like him so it's a bonus <3 and i love being pampered so it's a win-win situation <3 <3 <3 i can't braid neatly to save my life but whenever i do it he'll always keep the braid on until it's bedtime or if it becomes too loose (in which case he'd untie it with a slightly saddened look). your honour i love him sm

with al haitham..... ok look idk why but he gives me the '1 soap for everything' vibe. you think he'd care about hair oil? i'll have to be the one who takes care of his hair hsldjfklsjldf but he does play with mine every now and then, subconsciously. 12/10 would pull on them when i give him head-

He would scold you and make you sleep in.. special ways. <3

which is why i do it all the time i mea n what-

that's. that's an instant libido spike. welp guess we both starting off the day by exercising ;)) /bonked

omg you morning risers heathens /j

i'm melting from the thought of baizhu just staring at you lovingly while you're sleeping. man probably whispers stuff like "you're so beautiful, my flower." / "such a cute smile... i hope you're dreaming of me..." to you omggggggg

who wakes up first? definitely zhongli. man doesn't really need sleep so yeah. he's the one cooking breakfast because i too cannot cook without risking burning the kitchen down (i probably tried to do that one time to surprise him and zhongli almost got a heart attack when he peeked into the kitchen like "my dearest wife, please, rest your weary hands, i can handle this-" *tries to subtly take the spatula from my hands*). he's my personal alarm clock, and he'd wake me up with kithes <3

now al haitham.... on work days, he's diligent. his body clock is trained to wake up early in the morning to work out and cook and do stuff. but on weekends? don't expect us to get out of the bed before noon please and thank you <3 we're gonna be either 1) asleep, or 2) cuddling on bed lazily. i mean come on, it's the weekend. life's meant to be enjoyed ok slkdfjlksdjf this man wakes me up by either 1) shaking me (rude), 2) pulling off my blanket (very rude), or 3) picking me up and carrying me to bathroom so i can wash my face (i hate him /lie)

[eviltiddyproductions]

Crash Course in Romance : Episode 1

I think I saw a lot of cute gifs of this on tumblr a few months back so let’s goooo

5 seconds in and warning : suicide omg ??!

STUDIO DRAGON !!!? 🤨🤨🤨

oh wow this is such a cute title card

your GPS tells you that students are being picked up by their parents ?

oh no what is this tone shift

the cute second romance lady from Secretary Kim !!!

TIL Korea is called the Land of Morning Calm

I am actually so brave for watching a show that centers Maths in some manner like y’all don’t know how terrified I am of this subject

and that’s on a somewhat first kiss

also this is why I’m terrified of scooties like babe I’d fall so fucking fast 😭✋

equations flying around me is my biggest nightmare but go off maths teacher

the director’s assistant looks super cute

oh he’s the teacher’s assistant. super cute regardless

‘hate unpaid overtime’ amen to that

‘can you repeat it three more times so I’m not anxious LMAO’ he’s me !!!

I feel like the other man should keep going regardless awww 😭 it’s okay ! our man is just super fast

the show is so beautiful to look at. like the colours are bringing me so much comfort even though the school stress is bringing back #weird memories

does he like her 🥰🥰🥰

ahhh the blue sky, the clouds, the bright green I could eat my screen. so beautiful 😭

the guy reminds me a little bit of Win Metawin

they just travelled around in a bus for 30 minutes? ME AND WHO

folding clothes without being asked, she’s already the daughter my parents dreamed of 💀

every scene, every sound, every movement up until now has been so pleasing to watch.

the lady wrestling coach from Bok Joo!!!

if I took a shot everytime this teacher took his name my liver would’ve left the planet

now who was that he just imagined

oh that attorney lady is mini Win’s mom

lady this is a mock exam please relax 💀

classical music?

I LOVE THIS SHOP LADY ALREADY

these automatic lights might be effective but they scare the shit out of me

oh my god that girl scared me

dragged her out of his house with a school bag as if she was a cub and he’s a lioness

is the shop lady’s daughter about to get this girl’s spot

oh no, oh no he’s gone…. i knew someone would be taking pictures

does he have an iPhone? 🤨 Always feels illegal to see them in kdramas

oh no it's starting

his jacket's pretty cool. note to oneself : even if your life is about to take a BIG TUMBLE, wear a cute jacket

it's giving Crazy Rich Asians intro like woah is it that big a deal!??? but tbh micro communities always are 😭 I've heard gardening and fishing/fish keeping communities can be brutal

damn my man's in the hospital with an IV drip. (#LAinfluencerEra 💀)

no no no, my little brother is innocent, he just likes the tiger 😭

get your phone back handball lady!!!

he's doing maths as he runs 😵💫

the jacket is super cool tbh, even has a tail that goes through your neck

damn that's how you get scores in Korea? mine would literally get tear up or get lost by accident (it's just a small strip of paper)

she's just being a teen, it's okay handball lady ❤️❤️❤️

let me run it back though I'm confused who left who

lmao the other lady who works at the store is so real. she's just like me, clocked how cute the teacher's assistant it. 😂

I adore this assistant omg he nags as much as I do. He's being real though, this man has to eat 💀

Teacher: I'll eat it later !!!

Our Assistant: '*smiles smally* eat it now 😊

My god her mom deadass abandoned her at the shop i like ??? i thought she left her when she was a baby

look who you ran into in the park. your real mom!!! (Kinda she's her aunt)

I love how she says anyway

correct! you need to eat to survive 💚💚

he can finally eat !!! thanks to our banchan girlie and his assistant

this show was such a fresh breath of air omg I didn't even notice an hour passing?!!! 💀✋

[onlyvrse]

the real thing

“figured i'd do some charity work, you know, let you fuck the real thing before training ends?”

pairing: bradley “rooster” bradshaw x female!pilot reader

summary: rooster can’t help himself in the shower rooms.

genre: smut, fluff if you squint

warnings: masturbation, unprotected sex, fingering, oral m!receiving, dirty talk, praise, semi public sex, idk jackshit abt the navy so if anything’s inaccurate sorry!

a/n: the rooster smut saga continues.. c/s = callsign. both reader n rooster are pervy lmao, very lightly proof read.

word count: 4.1k

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

rooster knew he had it bad for you. really fucking bad. but somehow it just keeps getting worse every little flirty interaction the two of you have, every time you'd call him by his name instead of his callsign- or any time you called him “roos” instead of rooster. the subtle lingering touches on his shoulder, when you’d bump into him on the way to the bathroom at night, smiling sleepily with tired doe eyes. any time you’d teasingly joke about how you were able to fly better than he could, everytime you called him lieutenant. every little interaction he had would get his mind racing, so confused whether you reciprocated his feelings or he was just in his own head, most instances however, end with him fucking his fist in the showers after training to the thought of you. he had it real bad. 

it had only been around a month since the two of you rekindled your questionable fling. both of you graduated in the same top gun class a few years back, and you were being called back for an undisclosed mission. he had feelings for you back then, but seeing you almost three years later, you’d grown more into your frame and your facial features were more defined, the resurfacing emotions hit him like a fucking truck. every time you were called to attention, you’d somehow end up next to him, wavering his focus and making him laugh- but quickly change his expression to stoic when he felt the admiral’s eyes on the two of you. so when training started and your mannerisms continued just the same as years ago, it just got worse and worse for him. and to his never ending misfortune, fanboy and payback decided 200 push ups would be the punishment for getting shot down first by maverick. so there he was, in the scorching sun with hondo yelling out consecutive numbers everytime he pushed himself back up. “aw roos,” you coo, fixing your hair after having taken your helmet off. you crouch down next to him, hearing his heavy breathes as he continues to push himself through the exercise. you put a finger under his chin, and he swears he almost chokes at your touch, you force him to look up at you and you smile when you make eye contact, “doesn’t this prove that i’m better in the sky than you, lieutenant? got shot down by mav, poor baby.” he scoffs, flipping you off while you giggle and walk away. unbeknownst to the both of you, the entire squadron was watching from the window, placing bets on when you two were finally just going to admit your feelings for one another.

hangman is the first to speak, “what’s the bet they’ve fucked already?” he smirks, and phoenix shuts him down, “oh come on, c/s and rooster? you’d have to push the two of them in a bedroom before anything even happened.” bob laughs behind them before joining in, “even so, they still wouldn’t do anything.” “hey what’s the bet i can get’er before bradshaw does?” hangman speaks out and the entire room just glared at him. no one even needs to say ‘really?’ their eyes say it all. the group quietens down when you enter, quipping an eyebrow as they all meet your gaze. “what?” you ask, completely oblivious. “don’t you worry about it, gorgeous.” hangman chirps up and you roll your eyes at the cocky blonde aviator before taking a seat. rooster joins the rest of the squad shortly after, sweat still dripping from the tip of his nose. you give him a sympathetic smile when a voice cuts through the air. “training’s over for today, rest up for tomorrow. oh, and don’t forget to shower too. you guys stink.” you hear chuckles arise throughout the room, you make eye contact with phoenix, who sends you a wink and you look back in confusion, blinking profusely as if that would fix anything. what the fuck’s going on? people start filtering out of the room to their respective dorms and you take the opportunity to slip into your room and gather your things to shower.

you’d always waited a good half an hour for everyone to shower, or literally when everyone was going to bed. communal bathrooms were never your thing. you’d rather not have to see all of your colleagues half naked if you didn’t have to, saves from overhearing the boy’s locker room talk as well. you gather up your toiletries and walk towards the your locker, grabbing a fresh towel before beginning to strip.

today was no different for rooster, relieving himself in the showers after training. especially after the stunt you pulled today, it was so so subtle, but it set him ablaze. “got shot down by mav, poor baby.” your devious grin, with a finger under his chin forcing him to look at you. what he’d do for you to call him that unironically. god he had it bad.

you hear faint groaning as you’re untying your hair, completely stopping your movements out of curiosity of the noises. you hear a faint curse and your entire body heats up when you recognise the voice. rooster. you innocently assume he’s stubbed his toe or some dumb shit like that, so you dismiss it, wrapping a towel around your bare body as you make your way closer to the showers. “shit,” you stop in your tracks hearing the soft moan, selfishly biting your lip and walking towards the only occupied stall, a damp shower curtain between you and the man you’d been pining over for as long as you’d set your eyes on him. except this time, he’s bare- wet, and fucking himself. you wonder if it’s just a random jerk-off or if he’s got someone in particular in mind, so your curiosity gets the best of you and you lean back against the cold tiled wall, staring up at the ceiling and waiting for any sort of noise to come from the pilot.

he pumps his hands up and down his length, at an agonising pace. too caught up in his own head to even hear your faint footsteps walking around right outside. his bottom lip is between his teeth, his arm leaning against the shower wall, head resting against said arm while the warm water runs down his skin. he teases the head of his cock with his thumb, muttering out an expletive at the sensation.

your answer comes shortly after your half-joking thought. “god, y/n.” you freeze. hold the fuck up. huh? sorry? your eyes widen hearing your name, not even realising how tight your grip was on the hem of your towel. bradshaw, was jacking off, to the thought of you? no, that couldn’t be right. but there it was again, a faint grunt of your name. what the fuck is happening right now? you feel yourself growing wetter as you continue to listen in, albeit feeling slightly pervy about the entire confusing fucking situation but the arousal that was bubbling up inside of you put you past the point of caring. and so, for a reason you can’t really put an excuse to just yet, you push the curtain to the side, your eyes meeting his bare back. “whoops, wrong shower.” you quip, and his head snaps in your direction, wide eyed and startled like a deer caught in head lights. “y/n? what the fuck are you doing?” he squeaks out, desperately clutching for anything to cover himself. “what you think i didn't hear you? oh, fuck y/n, just like that-” his hand covers your mouth abruptly and you giggle against his skin, which sets his ablaze. “is this to torment me? are you going to blackmail me so i never live this down?” he rambles, eyes on the floor. “figured i'd do some charity work, you know, let you fuck the real thing before training ends?” you glance down at the hand covering his crotch. “y’know, instead of your right hand.” he hangs his head in embarrassment, “i'm kidding, dumbass. you’re not the only one having those thoughts.” “what?” “holy shit, you’re clueless. i like you, bradshaw. wasn’t it obvious?” you breathe out before closing the shower curtain and draping your towel over the shower wall and standing under the water next to him, completely bare. he cocks his head to the side, visibly and oh-so utterly fucking confused. “huh- what? what the fuck are you doing?” he says, completely exasperated and no clue where to leave his gaze. he curses himself as he feels his dick getting painfully erect again with the sight of you naked in front of him, water dripping down your skin. “what’s it look like i’m doing, rooster?” you quip, placing a hand on his chest, the other skimming over his bare shoulder. “what the fuck is happening?” rooster mumbles out quietly and you giggle, looking up at him. “y’gonna kiss me or what, bradshaw?” you didn’t have to ask him twice.

he crashes his lips onto yours, pushing you against the wall- you moan into his mouth and he swears it sounds like heaven. both of his hands are cradling your face, gentle, contrasting to what was happening with his lips. he bites your bottom lip and you gasp, slightly digging your nails into his shoulder. “y’dunno how long i’ve waited for this.” he mumbles against you, you smile before pressing a quick peck against his lips, “i’ve got somewhat of an idea.” you kiss him again, hungrily, and you whine when you feel one of his hands kneading the flesh of your ass, the other hand braces up against the shower wall. you both pull away, breathless, and you take a second to admire how pretty he looks like this. lips slightly reddened, face flushed, water dripping from his soft curls, the way his muscles ripple with every little move he makes. “hey, pretty girl, y’done staring?” he smiles at your eyes flickering all over his body, placing his pointer finger under your chin to make you look at him, the same thing you did to him earlier. you hum in response, grabbing his face to bring him in to kiss him again, you slide your tongue into his mouth and and arm snakes around your waist in response to this. you moan when you feel his dick brush by your lower stomach, deciding to lazily slide your hand up and down his length as he kisses you.

he groans into the kiss, relishing in the feeling of your hands on him, and you take the opportunity to situate yourself on your knees in front of him, staring up at him with doe eyes as he caresses the side of your face with his thumb. you teasingly lick at the slit of his dick and his hips thrust forward, looking up at him, when your gaze meets his fucked out state, smirking when he rests his hand on the side of your cheek, mumbling a ‘please’, and, fuck. who are you to deny such a polite request? “easy lieutenant.” you drawl out, before circling your tongue around the tip of his dick, a low moan coming from above you and you swear you get wetter just hearing him come undone. and so, because you can never say no to bradshaw, you take his length into your mouth fully, using your tongue to trace the pronounced veins as you bob your head, maintaining a rhythm as a choked moan leaves bradley. you use your hand to work at what you cant fit, although removing it when you attempt to deepthroat him, you did it occasionally, just to marvel in the sounds he makes. you take a breath, your lips leaving his cock with a lewd pop as you stare up at him, smiling, lips reddened and puffy. he cocks his head to the side, quipping an eyebrow as he smirks. “c’mere.” he whispers, his finger under your chin again, beckoning you to stand.

it’s not long before his lips are on yours again, but this time, you feel a finger running up and down your slick folds, causing you to let out a strangled moan at the sudden sensation, maybe a bit too loud of a moan now that you can hear it reverberating around the tiled walls. a hand wraps around your throat, his other hand still toying with your heat as he looks you in the eye, “as much as i wanna hear those pretty noises, not too loud, doll, okay? don’t want anyone knowing what we’re doing in here, hm?” you nod, shyly, taking your bottom lip in between your teeth as he toys with your bundle of nerves, causing you to flinch when he pinches at your clit, you yelp and smack him- he chuckles, asshole. “sorry, s’too tempting,” you look up at him, trying to glare but smiling when you meet his gaze. at least he’s a cute asshole. he starts drawing delicate patterns against your clit and you moan into another kiss, tongue sliding into his mouth as you tilt your head, feeling the familiar white hot pleasure building into a coil in your stomach. you throw your head back against the wall when you feel a finger enter you, surprised by the sudden intrusion. his lips latch onto your neck, surely leaving bruises in its wake. you just hope your flight suit covers them. “feel good, princess?” he drawls and you nod eagerly, gasping out when you feel another digit inside of you, pumping in and out of your core selfishly, his thumb still lazily working at your clit. he quickens his pace, your senseless babbling noises of pleasure filling his ears like his favourite songs. your thighs are tensing already, god it's embarrassing how long it’s been since you’ve gotten any. he notices this, and of course switches his position to be kneeling in front of you, placing one of your legs over his shoulder as he begins to lap at your cunt- your hand flies to grab a fistful of his hair, a choked moan leaving your lips. he groans into your heat at the tug, sending vibrations throughout your core which only causes you to let out a string of curses. you cry out when you feel his fingers enter you again, thrusting at a relentless pace as he continues to flick his tongue against your clit.

he looks up at you and holy fuck, did he look good.

you could get used to this.

so, so used to this.

“holy fuck, shit-” you moan out, so lost in your own pleasure you don’t even feel the pain when you accidentally throw your head back too hard against the tiled wall. his stupidly gorgeous pornstache is adding a whole new sensation to this that you’ve never felt, and you grind against his mouth selfishly, the knot in your stomach tightening, “mm-fuck roos- gonna,” you cant even finish your sentence, a moan leaving you again when he sucks harshly at your clit and it’s all you need to topple over the edge. your entire body spasms, pleasure running all throughout your body as he never ceases his movements, his free hand is on your waist, drawing soft circles with his thumb as a way to signify he’s got you, helping you ride out your orgasm with his head between your thighs. but now he’s almost eye level with you, quick to stand up after finishing you off. and of course, him being quite a few inches taller causes you to tilt your head up to look at him, but you grab his face and kiss him hungrily, tasting yourself on his lips.

“what were you thinking of before i interrupted you, roos?”

he breaks away, forehead resting against yours, his hand tracing delicate circles along the small of your back. “what’dya mean?” he mumbles out, “when you were fucking yourself, what were you thinking of?” you drawl out, confused at where the sudden brashness came from but oh well, no take backs. “y’wanna know?” he questions and you nod slowly, biting your lip in anticipation.

his hands are on your hips, backing up so his back hits the wall instead before he spins you around, a hand guiding your back to bend over. you brace your hands against the wall instinctively and gasp when you feel his cock hit your ass. “sure you want it, princess?” he asks, and you’re too desperate to make a sarcastic remark. “just fuck me bradshaw, please.” you don’t have to turn around to know he’s grinning, “yes ma’am.” he lines himself up, teasingly running his length up and down- brushing against your already sensitive clit, which causes you to shiver. “bite your hand.” he says, and you look back, confused. “what? why the fuck would i-” he rolls his eyes before covering your mouth with his hand, before bottoming out inside you completely. there’s a muffled scream of “oh, fuck” that can still be heard despite his last-minute countermeasures, he’s just happy he dampened it, even if it was only a little bit.

“that’s why, darlin’.”

he says, giving you a second to breathe and adjust. you felt and saw it before, but having it inside you was a completely different experience, he was practically stuffing you full. and you didn’t mind one bit. you look back at him, and he winks at you. you can’t help but scoff that he’s so goofy even in moments like this. “permission to go?” you squint your eyes at him. “really?” he nods, amused grin on his face. now it’s your turn to roll your eyes. “permission granted.” you barely have a second to process before his hips snap back against your ass, your mouth ajar as he ruts into you at a relentless pace. you could tell by the way he was just thrusting into you, this’d been building up over so many years. all the times you’ve unknowingly gotten him hard by addressing him by his last name with a desiring lilt in your voice, all the lingering touches after training. “y’dunno how long i’ve waited for this.” well. you could definitely feel it. your hands are flush against the wall, but your legs feel like jelly- your brain is so overwhelmed by the immense pleasure you’re feeling. “so pretty like this, c/s.” you hear him mutter, a hand placed on the small of your back while the other holds a steady grasp on your hip. he notices your absence of a response, constant moans leaving your lips every time he hits the spongey spot inside of you. “too cockdrunk to speak? who knew you’d be so needy for me?” you whine out again at the accurate accusation. “just for you,” you manage to get out, despite him never ceasing his movements. “you’re all snarky and sarcastic out there but you’re making all this noise just for me? if i’d known this’d shut you up i’d have done it ages ago, princess.” you’re about to let yourself be a little louder in response to this, but his hips come to a disappointing halt. 

you look back at him and he places a finger over his mouth to signify you to be quiet. once he’s certain he’s heard footsteps he wraps an arm around your waist and hoists you up against the wall, you look down amazed how he’s holding you with one arm. he notices this, and smirks. “rooster? that you?” he makes eye contact with you when hearing the familiar voice of payback, slightly grinning. “yeah s’me, what’s up?” he responds, the sound echoing slightly. your eyes are wide when he lines himself up and starts thrusting into you again, a slow pace but he goes hard. this causes you to bite down on his shoulder to stop yourself from making any noise, making him wince a little as he continues his agonising teasing. “yeah once you’re done jacking off we’re going to the hard deck.” “yeah, yeah, i'll be there, piss off- wait why’re you in here anyway man?” rooster inquires, hips somewhat speeding up, your nails digging into his back, so sure to leave crescent moon marks the next day. “left my keys, i’ll see you there man.” he mutters a curt reply before facing your direction again, smirking when your head is still buried in the crook of his neck, arms draped around his neck lazily. he waits a few seconds, going at an antagonising pace to assure the unexpected visitor has left the showers before holding your legs up and rutting into you at the same relentless pace as before.

you cry out into his shoulder, tears prickling at your eyes. “you’re doing so well baby, taking me so well.” he comments, marvelling at the way your cunt sucks his length in everytime. you let your head rest against the wall, grabbing his face for him to look at you. he smiles softly at your fucked out expression, kissing at the tear that’d made its way down your cheek. “you’re so pretty, doll. you okay?” he asks, watching as you nod, your eyes dazed and glossy. “i’can take it.” you mumble out and he smiles softly. how is this man rearranging your guts and being so sweet at the same time? while you’re having these thoughts, he’s amused at the duality of you. how snarky and witty you are during training and in the sky, and the whimpering mess that was coming undone infront of him now. how cute. you both thought.

a hand attaches to your clit again and you bury your face further into his skin to muffle the choked moan, sensitive and eagerly awaiting your release. his hips still pumping into you relentlessly. you cry out in pleasure, feeling the knot in your stomach about to release after the constant abuse to the spongey spot inside of you. “roos, g’nna- fuck-” you babble out into his shoulder, and he presses a kiss to the side of your head. “i got you princess.” you cum, hard, accompanied by a string of curses that leave your kiss-bruised lips. you’re practically limp against him now, relishing in the feeling of him filling you to the brim- his hips faltering slightly, signalling he’s not far off himself. “fuck, can i finish in you?” he grunts out, a loose strand of hair hangs in front of his eye. you nod taking your lip between your teeth again, “give me all of it, roos. please.” he moans lowly hearing you say that, throwing his head back as he lets himself go inside of you, an almost-forgotten warmth settling at your centre. “holy shit,” he whispers out, his forehead settling against yours. you kiss him tenderly. 

“we should do that again some time.” 

“really? you think so?” you giggle back, toying with the short strands of hair by the back of his neck. “please don’t tell me that's a one time thing- cause i actually really like you, i have since we first met and it’d suck balls if-” you cut him off with a kiss, feeling him smile against your lips.

“you’re an idiot, bradshaw. did you not remember me saying i was into you before you fucked me in a shower stall?”

he cocks his head to the side, a sheepish grin playing on his lips.

“definitely,” he starts, scratching the back of his neck. “yeah, no i totally remember that.” you both laugh as he sets your feet back onto the ground, an arm wrapping around your waist when your legs almost give out on you. “don't let that get to your ego, bradshaw.” he wipes his mouth with his hand to cover his smile, nodding his head in amusement. “let’s get you cleaned up.”

he’s gentle with you, lathering soap over your body and showering you with praise as he also washes your hair for you. you melt into his touch, the water changing into a less than comfortable temperature. “roos,” you mumble out, he looks at you with a questioning look. “water’s gone cold.” he runs his hand under it, confirming your statement before wrapping you in your long forgotten towel that was draped over the tiled wall. he places a kiss on your temple as he places his own discarded towel around his waist.

“I felt like a perv doing that.” “you felt like a perv? I was outside listening for like a solid minute.” he grins, “you were?” you regret your confession immediately. “oh, no wait fuck off i wasn’t, i wasn't! i take it back.” he bellows out in laughter before placing a hand on the small of your back. “you can’t take that back after my dick was in you, c/s.” you smack his chest, hard.

“shut up you fuck! what if someone heard that?”

“you’re worried about someone hearing that bit? of all things? really?”

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

i’m so sorry this took so long to get out ;-;

likes, reblogs and comments appreciated! tag anyone who you’d think would enjoy this :)

tag list: @mandoowhorian @luckyladycreator2

[ameliasbitvh]

𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐝𝐢𝐠𝐚𝐧 | 𝐝.𝐦.

a/n: here's part two, came much earlier than i expected bc i decided to write it all in one go and just go with it !! i hope it’s good because i rushed, you could say?? anyways i ACTUALLY typed out the lyrics for once lol and this turned out to be way longer than i expected too ! i feel like this fic series is going to be rlly confusing yk?? Pretend that the rooms in the Pucey manor are all sound proof. Idk but i hope you enjoy it !! (please don’t read this fic series if you can’t handle reading verbal arguments, toxic relationships, and pregnancy!) oh yeah - i apologize in advance for the pregnancy. (btw all smut scenes are consensual !!)

library account @ameliasbitvhlibrary !!

pairing: draco x reader, adrian x reader, and draco x astoria !!

summary: read to find out lol (i just rlly dont know how to summarize this bc i feel like sm happened yk?)

wc: 3.7K (3721)

warning(s): toxic relationship, gaslighting, manipulation, draco being a jackass and EXTREMELY bipolar, smut scene with adrian pucey, smut with draco, smut, foreplay, dirty talk, pet name uses of Doll, Sweetheart and Baby, a lot of arguing, harsh use of words, degrading kink, praising kink, baby bump kink (??) im sorry babes i dont rlly even know what a baby bump kink is but im adding it LMAO, use of drugs and intoxication for metaphors, breeding kink, breeding, pregnant!reader, draco x astoria, adrian x reader !! STOP OUT OF ALL WARNINGS I FORGOT CHEATING - last warning is cheating !!

REBLOGS ARE APPRECIATED !!

PT.1 | | NAVIGATION | | MASTERLIST

Vintage tee, brand new phone

High heels on cobblestones

When you are young they assume you know nothing.

His hips crashed into yours, he rocked your whole fucking world. Your arms locked behind his neck and he took a bite of the sweet flesh that laid on your neck marking you. You tossed your head back from the overwhelming pleasure of his cock digging into your sex. Cries leaving your lips like a prayer to him, your God. his bright platinum blonde gleaming in the lamp light, his smooth and pale skin against yours, his deep gray eyes boring into yours. In these moments you forget that you're married, that other people exist, it's only you and him. And you hoped it’d stay this way.

Sequin smile, black lipstick

Sensual politics

When you are young they assume you know nothing.

Your lips, so sweet it was intoxicating to him. You were the cigarette that nimbled in between his fingers and he just couldn't get enough of it. He inhaled and exhaled, but he wanted more. He was hungry, craved for it and he needed it, willing to rip himself to shreds if he couldn't. You were his drug and he was addicted.

He loved the way your body responded to him, the cries that rippled from your throat and the way you held onto him so tight. Oh and how he loved the way that you both fought. So passionately and fiercely that he wanted to tear your fucking clothes off everytime, the only girl he’d ever felt that way for. But how many times is too much? You were soon to grow tired of this illicit affair and he knew it. But for now he would keep you close and away from anybody who tried to take you.

And because of this mentality a problem soon arose.

But I knew you

Dancin’ in your Levi’s

Drunk under a street light, I

I knew you

Hand under my sweatshirt

Baby, kiss it better, I

After one last thrust, his seeds spilled into you. Your body thrashed and shook as his hot cum shot into you. Your legs clenched, squeezing around his waist as you came. Soon he fell onto the bed right next to you and tried to catch his breath, he turned to the side and admired your beauty. You caught on and laughed, “Stop looking at me like that you dork!”

“I cant help but stare when a fucking gorgous woman is right beside me, I’m a lucky man.” he smiled, but you didn’t. Your laughter died down, ‘I'm a lucky man.’ but you weren't even his? Sure you were in some aspects, but overall you weren't and that made your heart shatter the most. Not even ths fact that the only time you ever see him was to fuck each other like hormonal teenagers, but that you werent actually his and he acted like you were. Did he not know how much it hurt?

He thought the same thing. Did you not know how much it pained him to see you and Adrian act like a happy married couple and the fact that he wasn't able to grasp and call you his? Because you weren't his, and you certainly weren't his to keep. He wanted to hold you and never leave you standing alone.

And when i felt like an old cardigan

Under someone's bed

You put me on and said i was your favorite

He’d twirl you around the room, smiles decorating your faces as you both danced soulfully to the music bouncing off the walls. You both were so dumb in love but never had the courage to speak up, so the only option you had left was actions.

Small things like your favorite flower, a single red rose. He brought one every time you two would meet up ever since you told him. You smiled and giggled like a child when he presented you with a red flower on late friday nights. Always pressing a loving kiss to his lips as he held your waist and tore off your clothes one by one. His hands traveled everywhere possible, he examined every piece of skin you had and he loved it all. Constantly praising you as the most beautiful woman he's ever seen and you believed him. Just for those few hours you spent with him, you believed it. You believed you were the most beautiful woman.

A friend to all is a friend to none

Chase two girls, lose the one

When you are young they assume you know nothin’

His gaze landed on a young lady, legs crossed together, hair nicely displayed and she sipped on her tea with grace. She intranced him, she was the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen. Big green eyes, long brown hair, a slim figure and petite. He smirked to himself.

For some reason, the one that he held such care and love for simply no longer existed in his mind. You had vanished. It was like he’d never even heard your name before and in that moment he’d hoped it stayed that way.

He took long strides forward to introduce himself to her, holding his hand out with a smile on his face. “I’m Draco Malfoy,” and looking up she too with a smile on her face took his hand, “I’m Astoria Greengrass, nice to meet you.”

From that point on you noticed his distance from you. He never brought that single red rose, did not look you in the eyes at all, never cared for your pleasure like he used to. What happened? What happened to the man who’d rip himself open for you, pour his soul out, the one who showed you what love was. That was love, right?

Wasn't love when you felt like you couldn't breathe without him. Wasn't love when you’d sacrifice anything for him. Isn't it when you get those tingly feelings in your stomach… butterflies? Isn't isn't when you feel so vulnerable, naked to the eye. Like removing a piece of clothing off of your body, because you wanted him to see you. To see the you that craved him, the you that needed him because you were so intoxicated it drives you insane. And you couldn't do anything about it. All you could do was sit and watch everything unfold in the way you wished and hoped it never did. The day that he'd leave you.

The day that he'd find another girl to call his most beautiful. Weren't you his most beautiful? Weren't you enough? What did she have that you didn't? But that was the problem: you had something she didn't. A husband. Your chest tightened, you wanted to leave this marriage from the very beginning, it isn't fair. It… it isn't fair. But then you realize life isn't fair. The relationship you had with him wasn't fair, you were a married woman and he was a single man looking for fun but found something more and he - just couldn't do it anymore. So many possibilities of getting caught and he couldn't bear the shame for the Malfoy name, he couldn't. But if he loved you wouldn't he risk it all like you did? But that new girl, completely different from you. Poised, knew how to communicate with him, and made it clear that she wanted something more.

But i knew you, playing hide and seek and

Giving me your weekends, I

I knew you

Your heartbeat on the highline

Once in twenty lifetimes, I

“What do you mean, mother!” you cried out, hands thrown up. “Dear, do you know how much this will elevate our status? If you and Adrian have a child, our families will grow at such a faster pace, it would be rapid!” she laughed, flicking her wrist as if what she said was just as funny as her hair line. Adrian sat there, hands glued together, his mouth opened to say something but his mothers hand gesture immediately shut him up. Ah, yes the mothers teaming up just to convince you two that having a child together would be the greatest plan the wizarding world will ever hear.

“You are hilarious, y/m/n! Everything you said is so true,” his mom wiped her tears from her cackling away. Your mom's head perked up and she clapped her hands together, “Well you two should go and get on with that baby making!” Both of your moms walked out of the manor crying out the last of the dignity they had away.

Quickly after they left he stood up, “We don't have to-” he was interrupted by your lips crashing onto his. You had all this pent up anger building inside of you and needed a way to release it, this isn't your best idea but it got the job done. You jumped up wrapping your arms around his neck, it didn't feel right because he wasn't him. His nails dug into your thighs making you whimper into his mouth, he grinded his sex against yours.

Next thing you knew your back was up and against the couch, the same couch that the blond man had fucked you so hard on you cried, your nails scratched the skin of his back and you were limp. Always so damn Limp. Empty. Bare. Meaningless.

“Fuck I’m gonna fill you up so good,” Adrian groaned into your ear while he dry humped you, quickly your both removed your clothes trying to get this over with. And honestly, this is the driest you’ve ever been since you met Draco. Adrian didn't arouse you the way he did and he didn't speak or move the way he did.

The tip of his cock met your entrance and he pushed in, invading your home that you had built with Draco. He broke down the walls and you collapsed.

Finally, he came in you.

And when I felt like an old cardigan

under someone's bed

You put me on and said that I was your favorite.

Draco woke up with a yawn escaping his mouth, rubbing his eyes he looked at the Daily Prophecy and couldve swore he saw you and Adrian on the front page, he couldn't tell if this was his mind tricking him because he wasn't over you yet, or maybe the fact that you were actually on there. So he took a double take, removing Astoria’s head off his shoulder. His eyes skimmed over the paper and met yours. ADRIAN AND Y/N PUCEY CARRYING THEIR FIRST CHILD!! SKIP TO PAGE 12 TO SEE THE INSIDE SCOOP ON THESE TWO LOVE BIRDS -

His blood fucking boiled, what the fuck was your problem. “Getting pregnant?! For all we know it could be my fucking child not Adrian fucking Pucey’s.” he laughed at that. His hands started crumbling that Daily Prophet, his blood pressure was high, he was going insane. He couldn't take this. You, being pregnant with someone's damn bastard of a child?! And not even his. Not that he ever wanted you to get pregnant - but… maybe he pictured you in the future with him and a family of his own with you.

To kiss in cars and downtown bars

Was all we needed

You drew stars around my scars

But now I’m bleedin’

You know what? It was a Friday and he planned to see you today, maybe you wouldn't know of his coming, counting the fact that he hadn't shown up in a month, 2 weeks and 3 days but hey! Who's counting?

Quickly he apparated to your place expecting to just see you, but low and behold Adrian Pucey. “What are you doing here, Malfoy? There’s no event or anything here?”

Draco rolled his tongue against his cheek and for some reason a part of him wanted to say, ‘i’m here to fuck your wife brain dead.’ But he didn't, he’s been working on self restraint for a month, 2 weeks and 3 days now! Yay! So yes, right after he found out you were pregnant he apparated over.

“Where’s Y/n?” he demanded.

“You both are on a first name basis I see.” Adrian's eyes pierced through the blondes. A staring contest began. “Oh, well you see your wife and I are very close.” he smirked villainously. “Then why has she never talked about you?” Adrian questioned.

“Well Pucey, you dont go around telling your husband about the very person you let fuck you every friday, now do you?” how he would’ve loved to say that.

“Where the fuck is -” “Adrian, who are you talking to?” you asked, walking down the stairs. Draco’s breath was caught in his throat, he longed to hear your sweet melancholy voice for so long that your voice lingered and echoed in his mind. Looking up, your eyes met his. “I - Draco? What are you doing here?” The last part came out colder, a shiver traveled down his spine. “I need to talk to you, please.”

“I don't know,” you mumbled.

“It’ll be quick, I promise.”

‘Cause I knew you

Steppin’ on the last train

Marked me like a bloodstain, I

I knew you

Tried to change the ending

Peter losing Wendy, I

I knew you

Leavin’ like a father

Runnin’ like water

You and Draco both walked to a room to be more secluded and have privacy, leaving Adrian in the living room. Before you left Adrian gave you a pair of concerned eyes, you shook it off.

“What do you want from me?” you asked, arms crossed like you were defending yourself. “Listen, just - are you actually pregnant?”

“Is that what you came for?! To know if im actually pregnant or not, you sound like the whole fucking wizarding world! Of course I am!” you yelled with anguish, you were so sick of people. His arms came to the sides of your arms and caressed them, “Baby, calm down,” he tried to soothe you but you thrusted his arms off of you disgusted.

“Don’t call me “baby”! You left me, Draco, you left me… you made me feel things that you knew I wouldn't with anyone else, so why’d you leave? Because you met a new girl? Look at this godforsaken mess that you made me!” you cried out, your hands forming into fist banging against him, your tears soaking his shirt. “Shhhh, it’s okay.” he mumbled into your hair as his hands traveled your body trying to comfort you. “No, no it’s not okay… why aren’t you fighting with me? Why are you so quiet, goddamnit get mad, throw something, just - yell at me!”

But I knew you’d linger like a tattoo kiss

I knew you’d haunt all of my what-ifs

The smell of smoke would hand around this long

‘Cause I knew everything when i was young

I knew I’d curse you for the longest time

“Yell at you?” he questioned, his face contorting into anger. His voice grew, “You want me to yell at you! After everything! I was trying to be nice, can you not take nice? Why do you always want me mad, you drive me fucking insane, you know that! I can't spend one moment with you without raising my voice, making you cry! Do you know how much it hurts me to see you cry and know that you're crying because of me?”

“Then stop, stop making me cry!” you fought, fueling the fire.

“How? How do I stop being the reason you cry, how do I stop making you cry!”

“Love me! Just fucking love me, that’s all i’ve ever wanted!”

“You don't think I do?! I fucking love you, so damn much I’m addicted to you! To your smell, your body, your skin, I just want you, all to my-fuckingself! What do you think I've been doing all this time? Trying to get over you! I could try every flavor and you’d still be my favorite! I’ve spent so long watching Pucey parade you like a fucking trophy and do you know how fucking mad i get? He gets to go out and show off my girl, something I should be doing because you're mine and we both know it!” he took a step closer to you, his hot breath dancing on your skin and your breath hitched feeling him so close.

He looked into your eyes and that's where you saw his vulnerability, he was telling the truth. Wasting no time you smashed your lips against his and he immediately reciprocated your actions. Your lips brutally brushed against his, it was piercing. You both ate each other up like you’ve been starved for numerous years. He tasted like cigarettes and mint, refreshing and venomous all at once fogging up all your senses. You were in a new world, one where it was just him and you. Both happy and free to go out in public with no criticism or shame, somewhere that felt like home. He was - is and will always be your home. The one place that you knew you could always find comfort, love and support. You were for sure he’d always be there, so maybe it was how gullible you were that got you into this mess.

Chasin’ shadows in the grocery line

I knew you’d miss me once the thrill expired

And you’d be standing in my front porch light

And I knew you’d come back to me

You’d come back to me

And you’d come back to me

And you’d come back

“God, I missed this pussy. So wet, practically milking for me, Sweetheart.” he praised, his hand moving to your clit. Your back was laid on the bed and your clothes were torn to the ground, tossed away. You whimpered, biting your lip down to keep you quiet. “Tut-tut-tut, I want to hear you, Doll. Stop biting on that pretty lip and let Daddy hear those pretty noises, yeah?” you nodded your head in submission and let go, cries rip from your throat as he pleasured you like no other man could. Following after the foreplay he positioned the tip of his cock at your hole. “B-but what about you?” you asked with innocent eyes making him want to fuck you brain dead until you’re squirting on his cock like a whore. “This is about you, Baby. Let me take care of that aching pussy, alright?”

“Alright,” you agreed. “Atta girl,”

And when I felt like an old cardigan

Under someone's bed

You put me on and said I was your favorite

His cock slid into your cunt and your back immediately arched, bringing you closer to him. He kissed around your body praising you like a goddess, and all you could do was enjoy what you had of him and you loved. Then he began nipping at your skin, sucking on it, purple hues started to appear scattered along your body. His lips reached your ear and his thrust became hard, fast, and brutal. His grip on your waist tightened and was bruising, “Did he fuck you like this? Could he fuck you like this? Could he even make my Good Girl cum?”

“No, never!” you cried.

“Tell me Princess, how’d he fuck you… did you like it?”

“Slow, wasn't hard or fast enough and couldn't make me cum - only you can!”

“That’s right, Baby only I can,”

His hand went right above the small baby bump on your stomach. “You feel my hand right there? Do you even know who the dad is, Doll? Or are you too much of a whore to even know?” you watched as his cock slid in and out of your cunt. “I -'' and you couldn't respond because in all honesty you don't know who the dad was.

“No good, fucking stupid slut.” he barked, his palm hitting your cheek and a burning sesation started tingling.

Suddenly you heard the door knob starting to shake and there was a knock on the door. “Oh shit!” you yelled in shock and pleasure, what were you to do? “Draco, Draco!”

“That’s my name, Doll, don't wear it out.” he laughed. You were trying to fight your orgasm so bad your legs shook with so much force. “Adrian -'' Draco's hips immediately took a halt.

“What the fuck did you just call me?”

—

a/n: i apologize for making you pregnant. I'M SORRY I KNOW PPL DON'T LIKE IT I DON'T EITHER BUT I NEED IT FOR THE PLOT I SWEAR ON MY LIFE !! anyways left you guys on a cliff hanger and probs won't update this series until a week or soooo LOL.

—

🏷: @underappreciated-spoon-321 @o-rion-sta-r @orphixc @dracoscum @marrymetheonott @l0vely-lupin @kpostedsum @malfoysmainb @drac0spersonalslut @youreso-golden @yiamalfoy @just-a-smol-spoon @dr4cking @dlmmdl @hotgirlwhoreadsff @littlemissnoname13 @f4iryluvy @itsmentalillness @pansyspet @thatsluttybitch-blog @teenwolfbitches28 @mvdbldd @angel4you @squishytomatoes (hmu to be added !!)

special tag for the one and only @wolfstar-lb !!

[orchid3a]

ME & U - H. KAZUTORA

synopsis: Kazutora has a crush on you but he doesn’t know how to tell you

pairing: time-skip!Hanemiya Kazutora x f!reader

tw: mention of smoking, alcohol, swearing 

wc:  825 words

tagging: @etheralyonn @eriskaitto @ahsrci​ @haitaniapologist​ @sincerelyraylene​ @hanmascult​ ​

for the request click here!

sfw taglist click here to join!

note: not me treating the Haitanis as Jackson Wang is treated in k-pop fanfics lmao. kazu is an adorable dorkie who doesn’t know how to confess, while his two besties can’t deal with that anymore lmao. i love idiotic men who don’t know how to confess to their crush

in my fics the baji trio is always together, you can’t have kazu without baji and fuyu and viceversa.

idk why but i love the idea of fuyu smoking, it suits him

no proofreading

english isn’t my native language

reblogs and comments are appreciated

Kazutora hates going to college parties, not because he's antisocial, rather he is quite popular, it’s just that he doesn’t like loud music and drinking too much alcohol.

However Kazutora doesn’t mind going to parties if a certain someone goes too, someone that has his heart since the first day he entered college.

(l/n) (y/n), a beautiful name for a beautiful girl.

You two share a few lectures and always sit next to each other. Kazutora doesn’t want to admit but your presence is something he always craved.

You’re so gentle and always with a smile on your face, you treat him in such a caring manner that it is hard for the dark-haired man not to fall in love with you.

Kazutora can’t help but think that everytime you are near him his day becomes better.

Tonight his two adorable roommates brought him to a party hosted at the house of two most popular guys of the college, the Haitani brothers.

“Kazutora, are you with us? Or are you still lost in your thoughts about (y/n)?”

Kazutora immediatly shakes his head, trying to hide his red cheeks, and shots a glare to Matsuno Chifuyu and Baji Keisuke, his best friends and also his chaotic and idiotic roommates.

“I wasn’t thinking about her.” 

“Yeah and I can pass my exams without studying.”

“Baji, even if you studied hard, you would still be in last place.”

“Kazutora you lit-”

“Kazutora-kun, that girl isn’t (y/n)?” Chifuyu points at a girl far from them.

Kazutora almost choked on his drink when he saw you. You look like a goddess, too ethereal and perfect for this world. The black haired man can’t understand how you can take his breath without even being near him.

“Kazutora-kun go and talk to her.” 

“Chifuyu are fucking kidding me? I can’t.”

“Kazutora, don't be a chicken.” Baji scolds him

Kazutora just sighs and sits back on the sofa, drinking his cup and observing you from afar, now you are talking with the youngest Haitani, you’re smiling and giggling at whatever that guy said.

“I really can’t understand you.” Baji says plopping next to him on the sofa.

“I stopped trying to understand Kazutora when we were seventeen.” Chifuyu explains while lighting up his cigarette.

“Very nice of you, Fuyu.” Kazutora remarks.

He almost chokes again when he sees you coming closer to him, a sweet smile adorning your cute cheeks.

“Oh Kazu, Fuyu and Kei I didn’t expect to see you here.” you chip, sitting next to Kazutora and Chifuyu.

“(y/n) you look beautiful tonight.” the black-haired with gold strands man mumbles, trying his best to not blush.

“Thank you Kazu, you also look good tonight.”

Kazutora’s golden eyes widen and his cheeks become red, embarrassed he looks away from you.

Keisuke almost rolls his eyes when he sees his friend’s reaction while Chifuyu tries his best to not laugh at Kazutora.

“(y/n) we’re going to get more beer, take care of Kazutora-kun, he’s a bit drunk.” says Chifuyu, taking the long-haired man's wrist, quickly going away despite Kazutora’s protest.

“Kazu, you should drink that much.” you say with a sweet tone, your (e/c) looking at him with worry.

Kazutora can feel himself getting more red than he already was, why do you have so much power over his heart?

You giggle seeing him so flustered, then your hand goes to his beautiful black locks and gently pet him.

Kazutora shifts his gaze towards your lips and without thinking for a single second, he opens his mouth and says.

“But I've been thinking 'bout what I wanna do wit you.”

Your eyes widen while Kazutora’s mind freezes and he panics mumbling any kind of excuse to justify what he said.

Perfect, he ruined every chance he had with you. Now you will think of him as a creep and he will never have a chance to talk with you again.

“I do too…”

Now it’s Kazutora’s turn to be speechless, he looks at you and tries to understand if you’re serious or not.

“I love you Kazu…I have loved you since we first met, when you helped me find literature’s class and offered to sit with me. You’re more special to me than you can think. I was too cowardly to confess, I feared your reaction.”

He smiles at your confession gently cupping your cheek and kisses you, your soft lips against his. You kiss him back, wrapping your arms around his neck. You break the kiss and your forehead touches his.

“Silly girl, I love you too and I am also a coward. I feared a rejection, I feared ruining our bond because of my selfish desire to be yours.”

Giggling you peck his lips again, then you get up and take his hand in yours.

“Where do you want to go, Kazu?”

“Whenever you want, doll. As long as it’s me and you together”

[shotorozu]

what their wallpaper would look like while dating you

— *♡∞:｡.｡ 2k followers special —

character(s) : multiple (bnha)

legend : [Y/N = your name] they/them pronouns used, quirk’s not specified

headcanon type : fluff (x reader)

note(s) : okay so,, school has made me a little busy today so i kind of just whipped this up for no reason. this isn’t really lengthy but i hope you guys liked it :))

theres no proof read, again :,) but thats bc i was rushing on this one lol (will edit later)

»»————-　♡　————-««

midoriya izuku

i’m going to be honest, his wallpaper is going to change every single time you guys go out to eat. he takes so many pictures of you— it literally eats up his storage.

it came to the point that he made a collage of all of the candid pictures he took of you, and saved it as his wallpaper. that way, he wouldn’t have to change his wallpaper every 3 days

but he can’t help it! you’re just so,, attractive ❤️👄❤️ eventually, his mom will comment on how his wallpaper changes every single week— and that’s how he decided that “wait.. collaging exists!” and his life became 10x easier. but he still won’t delete the pictures so 🗿

bakugou katsuki

he has plenty of pictures of you that are nice, but he just won’t set it to any of those— you’ll never catch him setting his wallpaper as a good picture of you. but, katsuki will set it to a picture of you choking on spices, because he’s kind of a bitch lmao sorry

but he oddly likes that picture?? no matter how many pictures he’ll take of you, you’ll always find his wallpaper to be set to that picture, you can’t even do anything about it. you always stare at him like 🤨 when you catch him admiring the photo— “ITS NOT EVEN A GOOD PICTURE”

but GOD FORBID his parents actually coming across his wallpaper, he’ll get scolded by his mom because “Y/N WOULDNT APPRECIATE THAT, KATSUKI” and he’s just like 🧍 “it’s been that way for 7 months, old hag”

todoroki shouto

surprise! it’s a normal picture. it’s really just a picture of you and him at lunch, specifically your first date with him. and you looked SO good in that outfit. so, how could he not take 50 pictures of you in that one specific outfit? he must print them, and frame them properly

his head will peak on the phone’s corner, because, while he still wants to be in the picture, you’re the main focus SOOO,, yeah. he has other pictures, sure— but that one hits so differently

his mom and sister will end up coming across his wallpaper, when he was showing pictures of his class. they’ll basically fawn over every single detail of the picture. what more— when shouto outwardly says “yes. my s/o is so beautiful. how could i not have this picture as my wallpaper?” its cute

bonus : his wallpaper is sometimes a picture of you using your quirk. he loves how focused you look in that picture

kirishima eijirou

most likely, a picture of you resting your face against his arm. it’s such a confidence booster just seeing the picture— how could he not set it as his wallpaper? it makes him feel so manly

i think he has a separate album for that picture. an album with only one picture— yeah, definitely plausible for eijirou. it’s just such a good picture, how could he not have it’s own dedicated section? the picture never gets old to him.

he’ll also be that person that’ll have a really detailed background on why the picture happened. why, you may ask? it all started because of kaminari randomly asking him about it one day— and that was when he couldn’t stop talking he just loves flexing you, it makes him feel manly

kaminari denki

a picture of you sleeping— most likely a really ugly one, (to you, anyway) it’ll still be a nice picture to him, deadass <3

it’s a picture of you with your mouth half open, drool this 🤏 close from escaping your mouth. and your eyes are barely open— but enough to see the whites of your eyes. it was so funny to him that he just had to snap a picture.

regardless— it makes him feel better when he most especially feels insecure about himself, y’know, because everyone has those days. but don’t worry, you’re still absolutely beautiful to denki.

shinsou hitoshi

it’s a picture he snapped of you when he managed to get you in a position where you’re hanging upside down, wrapped in his capture tape. it’s quite a rare photo to anyone else that wasn’t him.

it’s his wallpaper because one, your expression is PRICELESS, and two— there was just so much to talk about, regarding the photo’s backstory. it’s also because of how cute your expression was, he could talk about it for days.

he’ll shamelessly set the picture as his lockscreen, and his homescreen. at some point, i think aizawa saw it too— but he thought nothing of it because “shinsou’s being shinsou again. i should let him.” everytime shinsou looks at his wallpaper, he can only chuckle— admiring it’s details (you can only glare at him💀)

iida tenya

i have included iida on this one, because i thought of it while i was brushing my teeth. LMAO SORRY, but his wallpaper would probably be your provisional license picture— or even a polaroid picture of the both of you

you stare at him, completely baffled “out of all of the pictures, tenya.” and he protests— explaining on how and why his wallpaper is just your provisional license’s picture, i don’t know! he was really shy when it came to taking pictures of you, so he resorted to using your license picture and it’s also a really professional picture of you so.. bonus!

but, if you do protest— he’ll set his wallpaper as a really blurry shot of you from afar🗿 due to the fact that he was literally running towards you when the picture was being taken. i also headcanon that iida isn’t really the best photographer, at least when it comes to phones.

monoma neito

its a picture of you crying while watching a sad movie 🗿 it’s not even full on ugly crying YET, but he does find it hilarious (but it’s also really pretty)

monoma forever holds it up your head, that “oh poor Y/N can’t hold in their tears for a movie” and he was going to use it for teasing purposes, but the more he observed the picture, the more he realized how good the picture is— like holy heck, it looks like an editorial shot from a magazine, and only YOU could do that.

class 1-b can only silently judge him 💀

»»————-　♡　————-««

likes and reblogs are appreciated, thanks for reading!

i do not own bnha/mha and it’s characters. boku no hero academia/my hero academia belongs to horikoshi kohei, i only own the writing and i do not profit off of my hobby

do not plagiarize, reupload, translate, or use my works for audio readings without permission

[ithinkilikeit-reactions]

Ateez when they have a crush

Ateez masterlist                                                   Group Masterlist

Ask:  Ateez when they have a crush on you

A/N: Changing the format here a little for this one It’s gonna be in headcanon form. 

Hongjoong: 

- Now Hongjoong I have a little bit of a hard time pinning down

- but I think he wouldn’t be incredibly shy about it

- but also not super obvious

- However, he gets a confidence boost around you

- he makes sure you know he’s around you

- taking the time to show off new songs, things he’s been working on

- He values your opinion a lot so he’ll be constantly asking you what you think about clothes he modified or a verse he’s working on

- Hongjoong also really very much makes sure you know you are appreciated by him

- Even if you don’t like him back it doesn’t mean that you can’t know that he thinks you’re important

- Also compliments you out the whazoo

Seonghwa: 

-Seonghwa, Seonghwa, Seonghwa

- He’s soft hearted around you, very soft hearted

- He loves to take care of you

- Borderline babies you but not in a condescending way

- he just wants to make sure you have everything you need constantly

- Comforts you any time you seem to be slightly upset or bothered by something

- just wants to show you that he can be there for you, be your shoulder to cry on, be your support

- He doesn’t do much to grab your attention but he does make his stories slightly more extravagent when you’re around

- Only to be shot down by the other members for exagerating

- He tends to watch you too, not in a creepy way but because he really admires you and thinks you’re a great person. 

- He just really wants you to like him back

Yunho: 

-Yunho is the best friend type

- He gets really close to you when he has a crush on you

- bringing you treats, making sure you have a sweater where when you’re around

- offering you piggy back rides anywhere

- it’s obvious he has a crush on you

- but he disguises it in being the best friend you need

- in the hopes that you’ll see him as someone you can depend on

- count on him to invite you over to play games, or consistantly ask you to join in on things because he doesn’t want you to ever feel left out around him

- it’s one of the ways he shows you that he likes you

Yeosang: 

-There’s a small chance you might think Yeosang doesn’t like you at all at first

- but that’s because what are feelings and why does he feel this way for you? Ew scary

- but once he comes around he’s just a ball of soft around you 

- everytime you make eye contact with him, he just starts blushing and looking away

- but he’s so sweet

- gives you small compliments, letting you know that you look nice that day or that it was good to see you

- if you’re observant you’ll know he has a crush on you, otherwise it just seems like he thinks of you as a good friend

- he likes sharing stupid funny videos with you, making you laugh 

- he’s also the type to text you things at 3 a.m when you both can’t sleep which will lead into weirdly deep conversations

- most likely will lead to either of you confessing at 3 a.m via text or a phone call

San: 

- San is another one I have trouble pinning down

- I think he’s quite obvious about his crush on you

- tells you “You know I like you right?” any time the situation calls for it

- lives to show off in front of you

- really because he wants to make you laugh and have everyone see that he’s the one making you laugh

- it’s something he prides himself on

- he’s also quite clingy as he’s crushing on you

- you just notice he’s extra touchy with you, coming in for hugs, ruffling your hair 

- San also just seems to glow any time you compliment him, he lives off of praise but especially yours

- he also tends to to talk to you about his feelings and hardships more with you than anyone else because he really trusts you. 

Mingi:

- Oh he’s the sweetest

- Like San he tries to show off in front of you

- but is a bit more subtle about it

- Baby is always complimenting you, telling you you’re pretty any time he sees you, telling you you’re smart when you do something, just consistant praise

- he’s also quite cuddly with you, likes resting his head on your shoulder, or your lap

- Sometimes you’ll catch him looking at you with love in his eyes because he just kinda gets lost staring at you

- god he’s just so sweet

- always doing little things for you, like getting that cute little keychain because he thought of you, or a drink because you might be thirsty

- he’s very thoughtfull for you, even if it is just a crush

- consistantly remembers small things about you, like the fact that you don’t like a certain drink because of the after taste, or that songs with too much bass give you a headache, or that you always carry bandaids in your bags

- he’ll mention these things randomly sometimes, reminding you that he really listens and takes in this information

Wooyoung: 

- There is no secret, that Wooyoung likes you

- He doesn’t attempt to hide it, he’s so vocal about liking you and anyone who knows him slightly can see it

- Wooyoung is constantly paying attention to you when you’re around, no one else is in his line of vision it’s just you

- he gets all cheesy towards you, sickly sweet compliments being thrown your way all the time

- he’s also quite possessive, not in a scary, unhealthy way but he just gets kinda jealous easily because he really wants you to like him back

- he also tries to get your attention alot, so he can make you laugh, smile or even blush (he lives for that) 

- He also has moments though, when he just looks to you to confide in someone

- The way you listen to him and talk to him really just makes him crush on you even more

Jongho:

- Oh I think Jongho with a crush would be so ridiculously cute BYEE

- Anything you say to him, he’ll blush, giggle, scrunch his cute little nose in your direction etc

- if you’re struggling with anything, Jongho will really be something for you to lean on

- but he won’t make it that obvious, he likes doing things to help you in a subtle way, mainly because he doesn’t necessarily want the praise

- but if you do give him the praise it turns him to a puddle of mush

- Poor boy gets all soft even just at the mention of your name so he can’t really hide his crush around the boys

- But when he gets more comfortable with his feeling he gets a bit more obvious about his crush towards you and starts dropping more and more hints

- he isn’t that touchy of a person but he’ll slowly start letting his hand graze yours, offer you hugs if he feels like you need it

A/N: I always get really scatter brained when I write headcanons in any form lmao so I hope you guys like this ♥