#TWA Inner Critic

[mourningarchivist]

Sorry. I need to draw these two at least once a month or else I turn evil. Can you tell I love that version of Critic from "Finishing A Story" episode yet. Anyways. Time to skedaddle and disappear for a few weeks again.

[art-leon]

teehee *explodes*

you've heard of innerconflict now prepare for innerfighting

design credit gots to @terriblewritingadvice

[cookidemon]

I wrote a fanfic about jp x inner critic because no fandom is a real fandom unless there is at least one hurt/comfort fic with the two main male characters.

- - -

It had been a wonderful start.

Jp had gotten up early, done a morning routine and felt ready to start writing something today.

His mind was buzzing with ideas for stories and couldn't wait to start writing it all down for his next best story ever!

Yet.. there he was.

Lying face first in his messy bed. Glow of the computer taunted him as the page remained empty.

He had been "working" on it for half of the day now, but had nothing to show for his progress. All his words felt disgusting and forced and bland, Most of all boring.

He had done his bed earlier today but ended up messing it up again once he decided that a nap would help him be more inspired.

That was four hours ago.

Jp's mind still felt like it was buzzing but the ideas now felt more like a mob of customers trying to get through a single door on a black friday. It was a weird kind of hell, being motivated and unmotivated at the same time. All Jp could do is lie in the bed he had made for himself and wish that this feeling would leave like a status effect in a legally distinct video game.

His thoughts came to a halt when his door was knocked. Jp could just groan into his pillow as his Inner critic walked into the room.

"Jp? I'm here to beta read that story you betted i could properly criticise."

Great. Like his day couldn't get worse, of course he also had to deal with this now. Jp and his other counterparts have made a habit of playing poker every friday night.

It was all fun and games, small silly bets and insignificant trinkets lost unlike in a real casino.

Jp had a good hand and betted against Inner critic that if he won Inner critic would have to praise his next story. In retaliation Inner critic smugly betted that if he won Jp would actually let him give him constructive criticism of his work and Jp had to improve it no matter what.. and now we're here.

His Inner critic standing inside the neat mess of his room. Almost as inconsistent as Jp's writing.

This is just what this day needed,

A snarky asshole to waltz into his brooding space and tell him how lazy and unprofessional he was.. which he knew thank you very much.

Wanting this encounter to be over soon as possible Jp just pointed his hand towards the computer and it's empty page, not even bothering to raise his head from his pillow.

Could he suffocate and black out if he just kept pressing his head harder into it?

Jp couldn't see what Inner critic did but he could hear the very familiar sigh of disapproval.

"So.. one of those days huh?"

He said, voice painfully sympathetic.

God, please smithe him now. Either one Jp doesn't care, anything to be out of this situation.

Jp couldn't bring himself to respond with anything other than a half-hearted shrug. The sound of footsteps and the door opening and closing made him a bit hopeful that he was finally left alone to brood more but was dissapointed as he heard the door reopen and close.

"Well. If you do not have a story for me to read then let's try this.."

his bed dipped as Inner critic took a seat. He heard a telltale sound of a pen clicking and paper being flicked. "What kind of a story are you planning to write?"

Jp was a little confused.

Normally he would have been very against sharing his awesome ideas and concepts incase some other author might steal it and make billions with it but this case was a little different because..

"i don't know."

He just muttered into his pillow but other man persisted.

"Well then, what kind of a story do you want to write?" "I dunno.. something like space related?" Jp raised his head slightly from the pillow to see his Inner critic writing and nodding. "That's a start." He stated with a relaxed smile. Jp thought a bit harder and spoke up again.

"Maybe something like cyberpunk in space or.. something?"

"Hmm.. that could be interesting. Tell me more" Did- Did Inner critic get replaced by an alien or did he suffer a concussion?

"Uhh.. maybe like a crime drama?" "Similar to fbi?" "Yeah but a little more space crime, you know?" Inner critic dutifully kept writing whenever he spoke. Jp couldn't see what he was writing from the position but he couldn't care at the moment. For the second time today he felt motivated to make something.

They kept going on like that.

Exchanging ideas and concepts, even getting so far as making the main character and his rival.

"Let me guess.. They are gonna need a love triangle right?" Inner critic asked even though he already knew the answer. "Of course! We need a hot reporter lady and-"

Jp went on as the other just listened to his thoughts with a tender look.

Eventually it turned to evening and evening turned to night. Before it was morning Inner critic decided that they had to pull the plug on this eventually. "Alright. I think we need to go to bed. You can work on this more tomorrow, you did good progress." The other stood up and left the notes on Jp's bedside table.

"Try to rest alright? And get some food you haven't eaten all day."

God he hated how nice Inner critic sometimes was. Who did he think he was caring for Jp's wellbeing. Curse him.

Soon Inner critic left and Jp was left into his dark room again. He properly sat up and decided to take a peek at the notes Inner critic had left him. Seems like he also forgot his trustworthy pen too. Jp slid it off the paper and began to read. A light smile grew on his face as he read how passionatly the other had been noting his ramblings down, even leaving the ideas that he was critical about.

Jp now had a solid map to start writing tomorrow! And it was all thanks to..

...

Tomorrow Jp knocked on Inner critic's door holding the white pen in his hand.

- - -

The end! I wrote this on a whim in the middle of the night.

@terriblewritingadvice hey man you asked me to tag you on stuff so here you go. Enjoy a half baked fanfic with lowkey homosexual tension

[terriblewritingadvice]

I don’t remember if i accidentally submitted this ask before I was done typing or if tumblr just randomly closed it, but here it is again!

I’ll start making headcanons too, Inner critic is a more kind critic to other writers, he just exclusively insults JP

Ok. so. On one hand, I really like this idea, as people are usually meaner to themselves (insert rant here about how Ego!JP and Critic are not the same person because of the whole "inner" thing- but, uh, point still stands...) and also Inner Critic actually critiquing other people is a nice concept for some art. But on the OTHER hand... I like mean Critic... I enjoy the idea of him being a ""brutally honest"" anti-social cunt... (while also not going "too far" and avoiding i.e death threats (unless it's Ego!JP he's talking to))

[r-3-w]

Art style stuff

@so0ppa @cottoncandyramen

Testing some artstyle replication

[terriblewritingadvice]

I THINK ABOUT RHSI ONE ALL THE TIME LIKE FR

Also ISTG I REMEMBER HAVING A SHORT PRIVATE MESSAGE CHAIN WITH RAMEN ABOUT THIS END CARD BUT I CAN'T FIND IT BECAUSE WE HAVE 7 PAGES OF PRIVATE MESSAGES WITH EACH OTHER FUJCJSJF 😭😭

Edit: FOUND IT!! luckily the exchange was in February so I just had to go like. a page deep JDSKJF..

@terriblewritingadvice idk if you have noticed this yet but the end card in “rivals” references back to this like which if find a bit…

and the end card

btw you said that we could tag you in anything TWA related ((so i am absolutely taking advantage in that >:]))

[eponymoussquared]

Sponsorships throughout youtube

Ah, sponsorships. Just talking about them is a minefield. Thankfully, nobody reads anything I say, so I don't need to worry.

The problem with sponsorships becomes apparent with the one question you never ask a YouTuber: "Do you actually use this product in your daily life?"

Its not really a fair question, because they can't answer it safely. If they say no, they risk losing that sponsorship, and some of their income. If they don't use it, you're forcing them to lie. You could argue they shouldn't be shilling it if they don't use it, but YouTubers don't have that many other ways to make money, so it's more complicated than that. As long as they don't lie about the product, and think it's okay, even if they personally don't have a use for it, I think it's fine.

However, it also a bit deceptive. people come to watch your content, and you're using that to make sure they watch an ad too. Of course, people can just skip it. Whats the solution to this? I'm not sure, but the solution I like best is when they turn the Sponsorships INTO something you want to watch.

Heres some examples:

================================================

Nostalgia Critic: the Ad segments

Channel Awesome is a very controversial topic, and its not hard to see why. Beyond the drama and scandals, Doug Walker, while generally considered a nice, well-meaning guy, just isn't that funny a lot of the time. However, I personally quite like his ad segments.

They aren't connected, and are all completely random, with everything Dr. Frankenstein pitching you Stamps.Com to a door dashing through the street pitching you DoorDash. They don't always work, but they do always try to make a new one each time, and through a combination of just enough self-deprecation and lots of surrealism, its still pretty entertaining. Theres an ad for Chime, a money-saving app, where the skit is someone talking to a dollar bill like they would a bratty teenager, and the joke being that you shouldn't always have to worry about money. If that sounds funny, thats pretty much the level of humor of most of them.

================================================

RYAN GEORGE: THE ADSTRONAUT

Ryan George writes comedy sketches loosely taking place in the same universe where he plays everyone, certain animals can talk, and Jurassic Park was released before the first time someone ever shoplifted.

I'm a fan, if you couldn't tell.

Above is the Adstronaut, an astronaut with a best(and only) friend is a green alien named Florp-Flap, who has a strained relationship with him. Ryan puts effort into making the sponsorship sections as funny as the sketch itself, with ongoing gags and ridiculous reactions. However, it's still separate from the sketch itself.

================================================

TWA: The TWA expanded universe.

Terrible Writing advice is a channel dedicated to telling you what NOT to do in writing via sarcasm, and it's glorious. The Sponsorship Wars are after-video skits in which the various archetypes he's established interact off of each other, becoming something of actual characters in the process, and try to steal the sponsorships from each other. They go one after another, and all tie in, starting off slowly but quickly escalating into a massive plot thats actually pretty entertaining.

There are two sides here: the Knights of Artistic Integrity, well-meaning but not extremely competent warriors who believe Ads will doom the universe, try to convince everyone to relinquish their ads. Their opponent is Inner Greed, the embodiment of Greed itself who wants to take over the entire universe, and then beyond, through the power of-well-money. Greed is the one pitching the products in the latest sketches, despite being framed as the villain, and theres actually an undertone of anti-ad commentary throughout most of it, with the knights of artistic integrity fighting for a world where content creators don't need to sell themselves out and fill everything with ads, and are paid and valued for what they do.

He's still selling stuff, so its mostly seen as an unfortunate necessity, but its actually fairly engaging and funny. Theres a bit where the Dark Lord keeps finding himself accidentally using stock Hero lines and almost vomiting. It's weirdly adorable, and an excellent way to make someone actually want to get through ads. ================================================

Neytirix: The sponsor segments

Neytirix is a criminally underrated art, animation(And sometimes music) channel, specializing in cute, cool, and creepy. They often redraw things to their own views of them, usually either making it adorable, awesome as heck, or incredibly terrifying. The spectrum is generally that cute things become creepy, creepy things become cute, and cool things can become either, or just more cool. Onto the main topic. While it started as an off-hand joke, the ad sections are now a full-blown story and sometimes just the entire video. Above is Sponsor Pufferbunny, the spokesman of SkillShare. He appears any time anyone says 'skills', has a disdain for everything and everyone except SkillShare, and a taste for blood. However, he can't survive in our world for long. Once he's delivered the sponsor, he explodes into a puddle of gore-if your lucky. If you're the one who summoned him, either you explode when he appears, or once you've gotten through the entire segment, you die. Its highly implied to be some form of mind-control, with the people involved not fully knowing what their saying, and not being able to stop once they do.

Whenever the ad isn't for SkillShare, there tends to be a different horrific monster, but Pufferbunny still keeps showing up. Its end goal is unclear, and its methods are unknown, but if you see it, your only real chance of survival is to finish the ad. If you're the one who summoned him, its a coin flip at best as to whether its you or someone else who explodes. If not, your best chance is to just keep completely quiet, not giving a single prompt to segment to advertising. Never, under ANY circumstance, say the word 'skills'. That, or already start using SkillShare, and it'll leave you alone.

Theres alot of body horror, and the series starts in the end of random other videos(Redrawing peoples submitted characters, redrawing minecraft, model-buidling, random content about her pets) But recently the story has become alot more connected with the redesign series.

I could go on and on about this channel: how the main author avatar has an entire factory for redesigning original characters, how its horrifically painful for them and they come out mutated and monstrous, how she barely seems aware of it and actually seems to think they like it to some extent, How the main characters are basically MLP oc's that are subjected to incredible horrors, and more. But this is personally my favorite way sponsorships have ever been handled: Litterally making an entire story about them.

[kevin-du-toit]

Hypnosis TAPS Into YOUR Subconscious Mind🤯

Hypnosis TAPS Into YOUR Subconscious Mind🤯 ----------------------------------------------------------- Unlock True HAPPINESS | Silence Your Inner Critic with Hypnosis #motivation #shorts #inspiration I have many things of value to share with you. I WILL BLOW YOUR SOCKS OFF! ✅ BOOKS authored by Kevin Du Toit (du-twa) ✅ 🧠 BE DO HAVE: https://buff.ly/3QJ4w5n 💰 369 ABUNDANCE:  https://bit.ly/369-abundance Have ANYTHING you want! Manifest Large Sums Of Money, Dream Home, Income Goal, Exotic Car, Abundance, or Happiness Come To YOU Easily And Quickly! If you're serious about achieving massive success in Hollywood, entrepreneurship, or discovering hidden talents then there's no better way to get started than scheduling a Hypnosis Session with me. CONTACT: kdt156@gmail.com If you like my videos, please SUBSCRIBE and Don't forget to press the bell, 🔔 like, comment and share the video with your family and friends. Stay safe and Love all. 😍😘 🚨 Safety Message: While watching or listening to this content, do not drive or use any heavy equipment, and don't have any chewing gum or food in your mouth. It's also best to remove all eyewear and find a comfortable spot to relax and or fall asleep. Enjoy the journey Other MASSIVE VALUE offers • It's simple just message me, Kevin Du Toit, on any of my Social Media platforms, links below. 👇👇👇 ----------------------------------------------------------- 🎉 You can also FOLLOW me on:- • Facebook: https://bit.ly/kdt_facebook • X: https://twitter.com/kevindutoit • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/_kevindutoit • Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kevindutoit ----------------------------------------------------------- 🎬 My other videos: • Self-Hypnosis Masterclass: https://bit.ly/Self-Hypnosis-Masterclass-Playlist • Guided Meditation Playlist: https://bit.ly/Guided-Meditation-Playlist • My YouTube Shorts: https://bit.ly/KDT-YouTube-Shorts • KDT YouTube Videos: https://bit.ly/KDT-YouTube-Videos ----------------------------------------------------------- 🎙 Listen to my Podcasts on: • Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2EA3X42ig3SQPzuvAa9hmZ • Anchor: https://anchor.fm/kevin-du-toit • Breaker: https://www.breaker.audio/legends-a-heros-journey About KDT: Kevin Du Toit (du-twa) KDT, a passionate Clinical Hypnotherapist who believes strongly in the principles of honesty and integrity as a Peak Performance Success Coach. KDT, serves his global community with a commitment to excellence and specific results with attention to detail. Putting his clients first, KDT will go the extra mile to accomplish your dream. ----------------------------------------------------------- DISCLAIMER (Pause to Read) * While Kevin Du Toit's videos entertain and spark your curiosity, remember: they're not medical advice. Think of hypnosis and meditations as tools for exploration, not replacements for professional guidance. Take care of yourself, seek help if needed, and enjoy the journey! This channel is a space for curious minds and open hearts to explore the possibilities within. While we embark on a stroll through the subconscious, let's prioritize respect and understanding. My hypnosis and meditations are not therapies, so listen to your inner voice, seek professional help if needed, and remember, kindness and care are the keys that unlock your infinite intelligence. All media content provided by Kevin Du Toit (du-twa) is intended for entertainment and educational purposes only. None of this content is intended to offer, or replace qualified medical or health-related advice. • Please note that these practices may not be suitable for everyone. If you experience any discomfort, disorientation, or psychological distress, discontinue immediately and seek professional guidance. ----------------------------------------------------------- #hypnosis #happiness #mindfulness #selfimprovement #mentalhealth #wellness #selfcare #positivity #meditation #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mindset #gratitude #selflove #transformation #selfgrowth #innerpeace #manifestation #positivevibes #selfawareness #empowerment #mentalwellness #mindpower #hypnotherapy #happinessjourney #mindbodyconnection #selfdiscovery #mindovermatter #happinesscoach #hypnosisworks

[hizznbyte]

hey! just so u know, i (and i'm sure many others) would love to hear about that AU ! but it's alr if u don't wanna share it yet, do what makes u comfortable 👍

Oughh.. ohhh boy. Okay I should probably finally get to answering this ask gahhhh!.!..

Hi you!!! I’m assuming this is about my TWA AU post thing I made and deleted a little bit ago, in which I’d be happy to talk about it! I’m totally fine with sharing that shtuffs if you wanna hear about it, the only reason I’ve been hesitant to do so and putting it off is because my English is super sucky and I can’t articulate or explain my thinking properly so it can get super confusing, especially when we get to the more complicated lore. Plus, I don’t wanna make this post as long as the other one [that was pain in my ass to type and post 😭🙏] but.. I suppose I can take a swing at it! Please do bear with me haha.

So I’m not into TWA as I was before [I do sometimes rewatch videos out of boredom or for writing purposes] but I used to be super hyperfixated on it.. uh??? More than a year ago according to my discord. And I came up with this dumb unnamed AU which I fleshed out but never elaborated on. It’s got some complicated lore which I’ll try to explain to the best of my ability. Also like don’t jump me when I say I forgot most, if not everything from the original TWAEU lore so whatever I’m making up my own story now.

In the story, JP [Ego] finishes writing a chapter of his super awesome amazing BEST STORY EVER! and he’s so proud of himself that he goes to take a well deserved nights rest. And then he gets fucking isekai’d. Of course, it’s the most cliche, generic isekai plot ever, so JP just thinks he’s dreaming. He’s the all-mighty powerful chosen one. He’s self aware and got all the plot armor in the world. He’s got himself a useless familiar who dumps the plot at him. It’s your standard isekai story, save for the harem collecting because JP couldn’t pull to save his life. Anyways, he’s transported to this kingdom or whatever, because there’s always a monarchy in good fantasy right? And for whatever reason, the Knights of Artistic Integrity are the only authority figures despite sucking at their job. LOL.

Anywhos! JP’s goal is to “defeat the evil in the kingdom and restore it to peace so he can return to reality yeah!!” [the evil in question being his inners]. But JP doesn’t really take his quest seriously because why would he. It’s a dumbass dream he thinks until he almost dies and realizes “Wow! This dream sure is wack! It’s almost like this… isn’t a dream. Also what happened to my plot armor?” Or whatever white people say. In any case, he’s saved by the one and only Sir Knight Commander Mcstabbypants! [my beloved]. KC realizes that JP just might be the chosen one the prophecy called for ! So they take him back to Sir Adblock who devises a deal. JP and the knights will work together, he gets rid of the evil and restores peace to the kingdom and they help him return to reality. It’s a fair enough deal so JP agrees.

Things happen but JP and KC need to find Inner Critic. So they track down, arrest, and interrogate the Ancient Conspiracy Guy who claims to know where IC is. He’s a dirty liar and just wants to get out but he does know where to find the Cthulhu Cult Leader who’d probably know where IC is. They could also be a useful asset in defeating evil if they figured out how to get the Cthulhu Cult Leader on their side. This is also a shameless lie btw, but JP and KC don’t think much of it and without many leads they drag Ancient Conspiracy Guy around trying to find em. In reality Conspiracy Guy kinda just wants to get Cthulhu Cultist dude arrested because he’s petty as fuck. Don’t question it.

I’m gonna go ahead and skip that whole saga thing, but JP and co. find Inner Critic. And the guy is all “I’ve heard many things about you J.P. BEAUBIEN. It’s about time you owned up and repaid for the damages you caused.” or.. something like that, and JP goes “I have not a clue what you’re talking about because I just got here, but I’m gonna assume that’s a good thing!”

Anyways they kill Inner Critic. RIP. Everyone celebrates! They got rid of the evil! That is until JP’s familiar FINALLY shows up and goes “Wait, no, you weren’t supposed to kill him. You were just supposed to cleanse him [whatever that means]” which would’ve been nice to know before they killed the guy!! But no they need him alive. Man I sure wish there was a way to bring the dead back to life-

Hey so did I talk about Inner Greed’s giant 3D printer? But before when can address that ginormous elephant in the room, we have to get into the nitty gritty for uh context. This is where the lore kind of gets confusing but stay with me here! [Oh Solid Space… how I’ve longed to finally talk about you...]

So what exactly is Solid Space? In the AU lore, Solid Space is a theoretical concept proposed by this guy named Inner Ambition, that aimed to explain an oddly specific conundrum. If you watched a Terrible Writing Advice video before you’d know that all the art and characters are built up of shapes. Disconnected shapes that is [and yes, I am very aware this is a stylistic thing that makes the graphics simpler but in this AU it’s pretty important]. This design choice still exists in my AU, where all the characters don’t have those parts connecting their limbs so they just appear to be floating but it’s more exaggerated. Namely, their bodies lack a neck and joints in the shoulders, elbows, wrists, hips, knees, and ankles. What remains is an empty space filled up by air. This led to people wondering, how are we [the people in the AU] still able to function normally without these necessary parts? I mean, they can still eat, drink, breathe, and talk without a neck? Their limbs stay in place and can’t really be pushed or pulled around without feeling pain. So how do you explain this? Inner Ambition aimed to figure that out, conducting various experiments, and learned the following:

The empty space between limbs behaved in such a way that IA dubbed it the “Limb Space Paradox”. Essentially, if you try to touch the limb space with a part of your body [say, sticking your finger in the space where your neck should be] it would go through as if there were nothing there. Like there was just air between them. You could cut through that space and not feel a thing. HOWEVER! Any other object, substance, or element that made contact with that space would react as if there were a solid object in between them. If you tried to stick a pencil in between the space where your shoulder would be, it would stop and hit a solid wall. It would NOT pass through. If you poured water down your arm, it would flow downwards the sides of your arm instead of through the empty space. Air would also hit the surface instead of going through the other side.

The fact that these characters can bleed, breathe, feel and be hurt imply the existence of skin, organs, muscles, nerves and veins, bones, and the like within these spaces, yet it cannot be seen or altered. This, ladies and gentlemen, is what Inner Ambition calls “Solid Space”. Solid Space is a confusing idea, implying that parts of their body exist in some form, in a plane beyond their own. Something they cannot properly comprehend. Because of this, Solid Space cannot be artificially recreated [keep that in mind].

Now, why exactly this is and what evolutionary advantage this feature has is unclear, because IA died right before he could figure out the answer.

And it may or may not be JP’s fault.

Uh anyways back to Inner Greed’s printer? Oh yeah! So Greed has the ginormous machine that resembles a kind of 3D Printer. And essentially, he can produce literally anything [and I mean ANYTHING] in large quantities as long as he has the filament. The filament in question is artificially crafted and owned by Greed and Greed only. The cost to create something using Greed’s printer is insanely high, so usually only the rich and elite can afford to even come close to the thing [obviously, this IS Greed we are talking about!] Usually, companies will collaborate with Greed to pump out products in mass amounts where they then sell it off to the public for a lower, yet still expensive price. People mainly prefer to buy products from these companies because of a little bit of Greed propaganda. He assures everyone his printed products are higher quality, better for the environment and health [when that’s entirely false], and the price is totally worth it! Even though you’d have to sell your newborn to even afford housing and shi. Nowadays, a majority of big companies get their stuff from Greed. Awesome. I love capitalism. Also Inner Greed is essentially controls the government and military and.. well pretty much everything which is why the Knights need him GONE. [Random fact? The Chainsaw General Guy -What’s his face- is Greed’s right hand man here, even though he hates working for Greed and just needs to pay off a debt. I dunno]

But like I said, Greed’s machine can print anything and everything. That includes printing people, cloning the powerful, nd’ reviving the dead. Hell yeah! 3D printing necromancy babeyy!!

The only issue with this system is the fact that it’s virtually impossible to do any of this as a layperson. The process is not only INCREDIBLY difficult [you yourself need to provide the resources/materials for filament] and time consuming, it’s extortionate!! Obviously it’s gonna be expensive, this is Greed after all, but even the most wealthy elites [aside from Greed’s inner circle] are hesitant to pay the price and only really do it when they get extremely desperate. Just imagine your average millionaire’s yearly income I guess. Anywho, if you were somehow able to afford and pay for this service, the steps required are just as troublesome. First, you’d need the body of the subject you’d want to print, and it needs to be preserved perfectly. That is to say, if the body of a dead person sustained any injury [internal or external] they’d need to be fixed before bringing them to Greed or he’ll just print them out as is, and there’s no going back or fixing it afterwards. And trust me, the medical bills are just as bad. So if you broke your leg before you die you gotta get that thing back in place or else you’ll just come back with a permanent broken leg. This also just makes it hard for those whose bodies are missing to be revived, those like Inner Ambition- I’m getting ahead of myself. Anyways, after receiving and scanning the body, you’d need to provide Greed with a large enough sample of preserved DNA and tissue to be mixed in with his artificial filament. Oh, remember when I explained Solid Space and said it can’t be artificially recreated? Yeah, well Greed will just replace that space with a clear, resin like substance that mimics the appearance of solid space but really acts more like a glass tube where you can see your insides through. Extremely fragile and painful to live with. And after all that you’d the wait a month, give or take? Depends on how nice Greed was feeling that moment.

All that time and effort… and only to have the husk [body] of the person you’re printing. You’d need to go to Greed AGAIN and have him reprogram a conscience and memories back into the husk to fully complete the process. So yeah. Capitalism win. The only exception to this would be Greed’s inner circle of people which he has their bodies already archived for quick and easy printing. The inner circle in question being made up of mostly rich political figures who JP is also tasked with getting rid of.

Not too sure if any of this makes sense or is that relevant to the story that I had to flesh it out like that. I stopped working on the AU immediately after my hyperfixation died off.

But basically JP doesn’t wanna have to go through that process because that’s annoying as hell, plus Greed also seems to hate him and the Inner Critic so he wouldn’t dare revive that guy. Makes JP’s mission a lot more complicated. But I guess that’s his fault-

So now JP’s real goal has become more of a “figure out what you did to turn the world to ruin and repay for the damages and crimes while also restoring order to the kingdom” or something like that. Because JP isn’t really the hero the story initially sets him out to be. All this while trying to return back to reality… yeah this is gonna be a long mission. Existential crises, battles n betrayals, Y’know the like.

And that’s… as much as I wrote before effectively forgetting about it and never continuing the story from there. And man in retrospect this is an absolutely insane AU that I could probably rewrite and improve but hey, this dumbass post is long enough as is. So many tangents and ramblings…sorry I don’t know how to conclude this chaotic mess of a post. I am exhausted. I’m glad I finally finished writing this so I can post it and stop thinking about it LOL 😭🙏 If anyone cares, I don’t have any official designs for this AU so feel free to come up with your own interpretations.

Anywhos, thank you for the ask and I hope this wasn’t too awful of a read [that is, if anyone actually read all of this. Sorry XD] Much love to you all.

[connorconfinement]

Watch more twa WATCH JP's INNER CRITIC RIVALS VIDEO PLEASE OLEASE IF YOU HAVE THEN WATCH MORE PLEASEE JDJJDH YDYD

OK

[mourningarchivist]

Draw my wife pleaseee

Grown ass man

[mindfulawareness]

‘Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house, all minds were restless, even the mouse. Mom going crazy, dad on vacation, I’d just settled down to try meditation. When out on the lawn, my mind at a loss, I swore I saw priests, burning a cross. I then closed my eyes, and I just refused, to believe those on Earth could be that confused. There’s a whole “war on Christmas”, with “wolves at the gate.” There are so many wonderful reasons to hate. But not for this chap, no not me at all. I’m practicing mindfulness. I see it all. I see all the triggers, all perfectly clear. I see all the hurt and the pain and the fear. I feel all the loss, and regret, and the shame. But I also feel bliss, it’s all part of the game. So I chose to sit and observe this great night, and I chose to wrap myself tight in the light. It’s not that “we’re different” or “were all the same.” It just that there’s no one but ourselves to blame. So this new year I pledge to be totally cool, and treat this life like what it is. A BIG SCHOOL!

Merry Christmas!

Some dude

[scapegrace74-blog]

Wolf Like Me

A/N So there I was, all ready to keep working on my new historical AU, when Metric Jamie and Claire barged into my brain and started making demands.  I’d been neglecting them, they said.  I hardly ever let them indulge in smut, they said.  I could only go back to writing the AU once I gave them their due.  The things I do for these two loons, man...

The title song is by TV on the Radio and doesn’t have much to do with the subject matter, except for one line which has always made me... *pulls at imaginary collar*

The entire Metric Universe, now chronologically ordered, can be found here.  I’m placing this new installment between Ceremonies and Lazy Dancer, so sometime during the first month or so of their physical relationship.

The light filtering into their compact kitchen was diffuse, watery and dull as the weather outside.  He went through the motions of preparing coffee, despite the fact he wasn’t working until later in the afternoon.  By all rights, he should be sound asleep.  His aching body had lifted him from the shoals of sleep and his weighty thoughts had kept him grounded there.

Carrying his mug and a reheated meat pasty over to the sofa, he lowered himself gingerly to the cushions.   He had been ridden hard and put away wet, he mused.  On the surface, this wasn’t a disagreeable state, but very little about his budding relationship with Claire could be safely interpreted on its surface.

As though summoned by his thoughts, his one-time roommate and seemingly voracious lover emerged from his room and padded down the hallway to the bathroom.  She looked like a cross between an albino gazelle and a harried hedgehog.  Even in his current mood, he couldn’t help but smile fondly.  His love for this woman was monumental, rooted deep in his soul and reaching out to span the horizons of his life.  He only had to find a way to keep it, and her, from killing him.  Piece of cake.

Frazzled hair now somewhat tamed, Claire settled gracefully next to him with her own coffee, near-translucent eyelids lowering in bliss as she took her first sip.  He wondered if she could sense to waves of tension that emanated from his skin like heat from a sunbaked street.

“So,” she murmured at last, “last night was pretty wild, huh?”

Right topic, wrong interpretation.  Still, she had brought it up, and that was the best opening he could hope for.

“Mmhmm,” he replied non-committedly.

“I thought I might have to hook you up to a saline I.V. there at the end.  What was that, four times?”  She grinned slyly at him from over the rim of her mug.

“Three,” he corrected, although he couldn’t fault her observations.  His balls were still tender.

Finally reading his mood, Claire placed her mug down deliberately on the table.  She turned to face him, eyes narrowed in scrutiny.

“Don’t overdo the accolades on my account.  Jesus, Jamie, you’d think I ruined your favourite rugby jersey, not rocked your world in bed.  Are you mad about the handcuffs?”

Despite everything, his cock twitched in his shorts at Claire’s mention of last night’s foray into light bondage: his, not hers.  While not a kink he’d explored before, his reaction has been far from disinterested.  No, he wasn’t mad about the handcuffs.

“Ye seem verra keen tae discuss my opinion o’ last night, Sassenach.  What I’d like tae ken is did ye like it?”

Spluttering, Claire ran her hands nervously through her hair.  He watched her carefully as she tried to navigate towards an acceptable answer.  It was a delicate operation he was undertaking.  He would need all of Claire’s surgical dexterity to broach the topic without cutting through the tender tissue of her perfectionism.

“What a ridiculous question, Jamie!” she finally said.  “I’m pretty certain our neighbours needed a cigarette by the time I was done.”  Collecting her still half-full mug, she made to rise.  He held her in place with a palm across her thigh.  Beneath his touch, her muscles were twitching.

“Aye, but were ye?”

“Was I wot?”  Her eyes were fixed on the kitchen, as though longing for escape.

“Were ye done?”  He spoke slowly, softly, tiptoeing into a minefield.

“Jamie...” she chuckled nervously.

“I want tae say somethin’ to ye, Sassenach, and I dinna want ye tae take it fer criticism...”

“Jamie,” she repeated, this time in a warning tone.

“Nah, ye need tae hear this, Claire.  I love ye, as ye ken well.  I love everything about ye, even the annoying bits.  An’ because I love ye, nothing makes me happier than tae see ye well pleased and tae ken twas I who brought ye that pleasure.  Do ye understand my meaning?”

Enormously wet eyes stared at him, a furrow between her arched brows as though she was working through a riddle.  At last, she nodded in acknowledgement.

“I’m no’ daft, Claire, nor am I sae blinded by lust that I canna see that ofttimes, when we lie t’gether, yer enthusiasm can be a wee bit.... what’s the word?  The one the Millennials throw about when a thing is designed for somebody else’s consumption?”

“Performative,” said in a bleak voice.

“Aye, performative.  And while it’s a dream come true tae bed you, t’would be a million times better if I kent ye were taking yer bliss for yerself, an’ no’ giving it tae me like some sort of gift ye dinna deserve.”

He paused, trying to read whether his words had found their mark or if she was about to pack her bags and tell him to go to hell.  He wasn’t exaggerating.  Sex with Claire was infinitely better than any other sex in his life.  And while he didn’t have some vast experience of women, he’d been with enough to know when Claire’s enthusiasm was feigned.  She wanted him, of that he was certain, but she’d never learned to take.  It would be the rarest privilege to be the one to show her, if only she would let him in. He could teach her tricks that would blow her mind.

***

“I feel foolish.”

“Whatever for, mo nighean donn?”

They were lying in his rumpled sheets, still fragrant with the previous night’s debauchery.  Rather than tear him a new asshole for his audacity, to his everlasting surprise Claire had crumpled into his side with a breathy sob.  He had carried her back to his room like a bridegroom.  There, with tender lips and winnowing fingers, he had eased her into a rare moment of emotional vulnerability.

“I’m studying to be a doctor, for Christ’s sake.  And I’m hardly a blushing virgin...”

He gritted his teeth, trying to avoid thinking of the selfish men that came before him.  They weren’t here now, holding this fierce but complicated woman in their arms, her maple eyes and molasses hair spilling all over him.  He wasn’t her first lover, but god willing, he would be her last.

“Ye’re a giver, Sassenach.  It’s who ye are, down to yer core.  Tis hardly yer fault ye were never taught that pleasure is the gift that gives.”

“Will you?  Teach me?”

A shiver ran the length of his spine, lighting his nerves like sparklers.  Even after the night they’d just spent, blood flooded to his cock like a bruise.  He’d have to be dead to not rouse at such a request from this woman.

“Aye, mo ghradh.  It would be my pleasure.”   And he meant it.

Rather than immediately strip naked, they spent a good deal of time kissing and petting, their clothed hips settling into an easy grind.  Everywhere he sampled, she was sweet and salty, sour and bitter, a smorgasbord for his tongue and his mind.  It was this variety, this seemingly endless combination of textures and moods, that captivated him.  He was certain he would never tire of her.

As things grew more heated, Claire tried to roll him on top of her, but he resisted.

“No, a nighean.  Like this.”  He pulled her on top of him until the bulge in his underwear lined up with the furrow in hers.

“Jamie!” she laughed, pulling her hair back from her eyes.

“Makes me feel like a randy lad of fifteen all over again,” he teased.  “Ye make me sae hard, Claire.”

She gasped, and he watched in fascination as her pelvis shifted from a steady rock to a deliberate, searching circle.  There was a distinct stain of moisture on the pale blue fabric of her knickers, but he couldn’t say if it came from him or her.  Both of them, most likely.

“Sae hard,” he continued in a low murmur that shook with restraint, “tae see ye take what ye need from me.”

A high pitched whine indicated his partner was growing frustrated by the ongoing torture of their almost-contact.

“Please, Jamie,” she begged.

“What is it ye want, Sassenach?”

A flash of spitfire defiance met his teasing question.

“Your cock.”  The click and suck of her pretty mouth spilling such filth was nearly his undoing.  Perhaps it was for the best that she’d nearly drained him dry only eight hours before.

“Then ye better take it, aye?”

Faster than he could have imagined, Claire dragged his boxer-briefs down past his ankles and shed her own knickers.  With the sigh of a nomad reaching an oasis in the desert, she sunk down on his length in a single, long draught.  She was so wet it oozed down to where his balls where already drawn up tight against his base.   Clenching his eyes tight, he counted slowly to ten.

“Now what?” she breathed, seemingly as stunned as he felt.

“Now ye move until ye find the place where it all clicks,” he offered with a flex of his groin.

“What about you?”

“Christ, Sassenach, can ye not feel me throbbing like a bloody split lip inside of ye?  Don’t spare a thought for me.  This is for you.”

She let out a curious hum and twisted her hips this way and that, rolling him against her inner musculature.  A slight arch of her fluted spine.  A counter-clockwise roll.  A series of rhythmic pulses, and then she found exactly what she was looking for.

“Oh.”  It was the exclamation of a prophet, having glimpsed the divine.  That of a pilgrim, having reached the mountain top.  It wasn’t like him to mingle the sacred and the profane, but the look on Claire’s face was nothing short of holy rapture.

“That’s it,” he encouraged, clawing at the bed clothing to avoid grabbing her and pounding to his own rhythm.

“Oh!  Jamie.  Oh!”

“Tell me, Claire.  Tell me,” he begged, desperate for something, anything, to hold onto on the sheer cliff of madness that suddenly yawned before him.

“I’m...  I’m fucking you, Jamie,” she whispered, like it was a secret kept in a locked diary.

“Aye, ye are, a nighean.  Dinna stop.  Dinna stop, Claire.”

Wispy noises and half-formed words began to slip from her mouth.  These weren’t the orchestrated moans and cries of the night before, and they aroused him a hundredfold more.  If he had to guess, she wasn’t even aware she was making them.  

“Can’t...” she breathed after endless moments, neck straining as she titled her chin skywards, slim hands coming to rest on his chest.

“Aye, ye can,” he urged, though he doubted she heard him.  

What only minutes before had looked like budding ecstasy was quickly turning to frustration as her head began to thrash from side to side, whipping her hair across her cheeks.

“Can’tcan’tcan’t,” she chanted almost to herself.

She was teetering on the knife edge between heaven and hell, that much was clear.  Half mad with agonized bliss himself, he sought frantically through the atlas of her labyrinthine mind, searching up dark hallways and around blind corners for an answer that would help release her from her self-made snare.

“Take what ye need, Claire,” he panted, offering himself up to be consumed.  Then, gambling boldly, he added “Be a good girl an’ take it.”

He knew she’d heard him by her sudden stillness.  He held his breath.  There was a tremor that started where he was buried inside of her and spread across her surface like wind across a pond, given voice as a rapturous sigh when it reached her face.

She began to move again, a pinched look of determination on her beatific face.  A set of dainty fingers sank to where their flesh met, so wet that it burned, bursting full and yet cavernously empty, begging to be drowned.  He couldn’t look away, curling up on his spine for a better view, slack-jawed and mesmerized by her practiced movements.

“I’m...  I’m... oh my god, Jamie, I’m going to...”

He couldn’t have stopped himself then for all the money in the world.  Teeth set, eyes fixed on nothingness, he spun away from gravity just as she let out an otherworldly howl and bore down on him like a wolf ravishing a lamb.  Lava rushed down his veins and through his cock in bolts of heat, the whipcrack of release shimmering like electricity across his skin.

Claire folded down over his chest, her arms crossed over her head like she waiting for a bomb to drop from the sky.  She still rode him languidly, wrenching ever last drop of pleasure he had to give.  Her shoulders shook in some strange cocktail of gasping, laughing and sobbing.  At long last, she was still.  She had yet to meet his eyes, and he felt unaccountably nervous.

Pushing strands of hair away from where they had stuck to her face, she rested her chin in her stacked hands.  Her face was equal parts awestruck and adoring, and he allowed his tense muscles to relax.  Seemingly at a loss for words, she placed a lingering kiss on his sternum and rested her cheek once again on her hands, exhaling deeply.

“Sassenach?” he asked, once his breathing was once again under his control.

“Hmmm?”

“I ken ye were only kidding about the I.V., but...”

[cookidemon]

You get no context for anything except i made up a banger fic name making this.

It's supposed to be Jp and Inner critic but it's pretty incomprehensible.

[terriblewritingadvice]

This is canon and real JP himself told me so.

Leak of the next TWA episode thumbnail?!!?!??! Don't ask me where I got it, that's totally classified information.

[r-3-w]

Inner Critic 70s

@so0ppa hope you like my 70s design of IC, I tried researching the history of it , JP will be 80s and greed is only changing is appearance whenever or fashion trends or with DL