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ioannemos · 4 years

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went a little wild with this: ♤ : star wars, shmi ☻ : firefly, anyone ☼ : uncharted, elena ☮ : national treasure, riley ☯ : star wars, obi-wan, anakin, padmé ☠ : sga, rodney | star wars, obi-wan ☄ : prodigal son, coffee shop AU | the man from UNCLE, high school AU | leverage, medieval/fantasy AU

boy you sure did 😁

cooking headcanon: shmi

food isn’t scarce, even in the slave quarters: that’s short-sighted. but it isn’t good either: think soylent, some kind of protein paste, that kind of thing. so getting the food isn’t the important thing, it’s flavoring, and she knows how to make a little flavoring last a long, long time

in my au where she’s rescued, she starts cooking a lot. she finds cooking enjoyable by itself and it’s a great way to ingratiate herself with her neighbors. plus she doesn’t think they feed anakin (or obi-wan) properly

mood headcanon: simon

(this is more emotion than mood but idc)

as time goes by, living on the edge starts to scrub off simon’s core upbringing. it doesn’t go easy- more often than not, it comes off with blood- but it does come off, and a layer of callus grows over it. his sense of honor changes and warps a little, wrapping around serenity’s crew and leaving others out in the cold. he learns to shoot, and not at kneecaps: if they can’t talk their way out of a situation, it’s better to eliminate the threat than add them to the list of enemies. part of him still hates it (first, do no harm), but he has to keep river safe, and this seems the better way to do it. he looks like an emergency room doctor in the medbay, calm and professional; outside it, he’s a combat medic, ruthless and borderline detached (kinda scary, according to kaylee)

childhood headcanon: elena

elena was introduced to filming in grade school, when her parents got a video camera to film her part in a play. she was instantly hooked

bedroom/house/living quarters headcanon: riley

if you don’t text riley to tell him you’re coming over, you will walk into an absolute disaster zone

bedroom? his bed is never made and he leaves clothes EVERYWHERE. he has a system. (he does not, unless the sniff test counts as a system.)

house? he got cockroaches in his place when he was at college, so he doesn’t leave food around (at least not intentionally), but other than that? hazardous. every horizontal surface has a high risk of being covered in computers (most of them functional but some obviously cannibalized) with multiple screens, laptops (most of them functional), cameras, radios, walkie-talkies, stray cords, half a dozen different gps systems... he has a workbench with a soldering station for fixing/kludging stuff which is usually covered in components, scraps and spools of wire, hand tools half-hidden under printouts, and stray screws

living quarters when away from home? he starts with at least a token effort at keeping his stuff in one place, which is helped by living out of a duffel bag. this token effort generally lasts until the first all-nighter, when it is replaced by riley leaving clothes, coffee cups, and electronics on any available surface

genderbent headcanon

obi-wan: as a young padawan, she’s intense and about one step down from being a show-off. as she matures, she stays intense but gets quiet and standoffish from most people, preferring to communicate with qui-gon through micro-expressions, body language, and their bond (they can have an argument through eyebrows alone). as a young woman, there are certain dangers she has to be aware of that are less likely to be a problem for a young man, and that’s part of what leads to her intensity: qui-gon likes to let crowds flow around him, and she’ll stay in his wake as much as possible, but if someone tries to touch her she’s ready with a razor-sharp expression that says i can read your mind and you should be ashamed of yourself. she’s a hair more tolerant of qui-gon’s pathetic life forms but doesn’t like them any more. after qui-gon’s death... she shuts down a little more obviously than in canon. she still insists she’ll train anakin, tho. yoda is maybe a little more convinced that her promise (threat?) to train anakin without the council’s approval is dead serious

anakin: anakin still races. she’s both wilder and more calculating than her canon counterpart: the more races she wins, the more likely it is that watto will let her keep doing that instead of selling her for other purposes, and as a girl she’s both popular as a bit of an oddity and disliked for the same reason. she’s young enough yet that she can pass as a boy, and she often does. when starting as obi-wan’s apprentice, it’s very rough going. obi-wan’s wall around her grief is initially stronger (she’s not a woman, she’s a jedi who happens to be a woman, she can’t be ruled by her emotions) but once it cracks, it cracks harder than canon obi-wan’s, so they’re able to grieve together and really bond

uh i feel like anakin being a girl really changes the way things shake out? seems to me she’d be more suspicious of palpatine bc okay, sure, she doesn’t have a male mentor, but. old guy taking younger woman under his wing? creepy. also if anakin is the one who could have kids i feel like the marriage thing would turn out so differently. this could go on for pages so i’m going to let your imagination take over from here

padme: listen. i’ve seen exactly one and a half episodes of parks and recreation. but. mayor ben? with the ice rink or whatever? yeah

(i know padme is too sensible for this, don’t @ me, i’m tired of genderbending this without like. actually wanting to write it. anyway if anakin is the (semi) sensible one here, one of them has to be stupid)

drinking/drunk headcanon

rodney: between pegasus natives being unpredictable and atlantis usually under threat of one kind or another, he doesn’t get drunk often. when he does, tho, it’s... a thing to behold. sober rodney hates drunk rodney. his patience goes up, somehow? so he’s willing to explain complicated stuff in easy terms and tolerates being interrupted. if that was it, sober rodney would be fine with it, but drunk rodney also has Great Science Ideas, generally involving setting things on fire, blowing them up, sending them through this process or that, bc what if... it did this? on the rare occasions nobody’s stopped him, it does not work out like he hoped. in the moment, he finds that hilarious. if he overdoes it, he can lean into maudlin or “hey, d’you know... you’re my besht fren,” which is terrible for his reputation as an asshole

obi-wan: he can drink alcoholics under the table. the actual effects hit later, generally in a bleak yet calm “life is meaningless, let me sleep” kind of vibe

coffeeshop au: prodigal son

gil is the manager, dani makes coffee, malcolm comes to the coffeeshop to grade his students’ psychology papers. dani thinks he’s a little young to be a teacher, he thinks her coffee is amazing (it’s... fine? she isn’t sure why he keeps leaving such big tips??)

high school au: the man from uncle

napoleon: class president. adopted, and doesn’t want to talk about his birth family. has a motorcycle. either you love him or you hate him. when asked what he’s doing after high school, he has a great-sounding answer that ultimately means nothing at all, bc he has no idea yet. seems to be just as invested in home ec as track??

illya: transfer student staying with napoleon’s family. also has a motorcycle. doesn’t seem to know how to make friends, so he spends a lot of time alone. may or may not be aware of his resting i’ll-kill-you face. will not talk about his family and will deck you if you keep pushing. captain of the chess team. jostles with napoleon a lot in home ec

gaby: ends up tutoring both of them in... idk, history or something. traded favors (or bribes? maybe blackmail?? nobody knows) to get into shop class a year early. might deck you if you bring up her family. hates home ec

medieval/fantasy au: leverage

nate: totally normal human. barely anyone believes this bc it’s embarrassing to admit a totally normal human caught you at your supernatural shenanigans

sophie: there’s a siren in her ancestry, or a succubus, or maybe just some elf? no one can tell (bc they’re all wrong- she’s 100% human)

eliot: human. used to be a knight. excellent tracker, fighter, swordsman, and occasional chef. doesn’t like crossbows

hardison: human. crazy-amazing blacksmith and inventor. always tinkering with metallurgy, clockwork, and alchemy

parker: was stolen by the elves as a child and has broken free from them... somehow. can use magic but generally doesn’t bc she doesn’t understand the appeal. unless it helps her steal stuff- then she uses it a lot

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