#TO RAISE TWO CHILDREN WITHOUT A PARTNER AND NOT BEING LAID FOR LIKE 50+ YEARS IS NO FUN

[todaysanother]

Look. I loved LOVED lucifer series in general and I absolutely onboard with s6 deckerstar daughter and time travels cause I adore both this tropes, but the way it was handled....... that was unnecessary cruel and poor. I love good time loop ouroboros terminator style written tragedies that you can't avoid to happen, but that didn't make sense in lucifer. First of all RORY HAD WINGS ALL HER LIFE. If she was so angry at Lucifer and wanted revenge/answers so bad that she literally involuntary time traveled to get it, why couldn't she JUST FLY TO HELL AND CONFRONT HER DAD AT ANY POINT OF CHLOE'S LIFETIME? Makes no sense she didn't try to find him in her own timeline at least once, he's not hard to find, he's not hiding, Lucifer is literally in the first place you would go look for him - in HELL. No need to time travel for that, girl.

More than that, if they couldn't stop the time loop, they def could STAGE all her acts in it in order to have a good life together and still keep the story happening. Like, Lucifer would work part-time in hell (like Ame in heaven) an spend half of the time with his family on earth, and tell Rory what happened in s6 and what she did, so Rory would KNOW about her future and learn to control her powers sooner with her dad's help. Then when it's time Rory could time traveled back and simply ACT angry, so her parents would believe the story she told, how she never knew her father and how he just vanished and all of that (that is not true anymore or never ever was true at all). Yes, all of this is a little messed up, but it is still more logical and satisfying than the fact that Rory basically ruined her parents' and her own happy life on earth together for her character development arc, that she wouldn't need at the first place if she didn't do it.

[creacherkeeper]

happy pride everyone

for some reason i was sitting outside this morning and enjoying some shockingly not boiling hot weather and reflecting on a post i had made like ... 12 years ago on here that "blew up" (like 60k notes on early days tumblr) and thinking like. wow i sure do know a lot more about myself now that makes all that make sense but

the post was someone saying like. hey how can you call yourself an atheist and support gay people because gay people go against the concept of evolution. and my reply was like. actually there are gay members of like every social species weve studied it in and i had a bunch of facts laid out about all the different very gay animals of this world (like giraffes having very largely m/m sex)

but now, like 12 years later, i am thinking about human evolution and queer identity and thought it would be fun to talk about. i am by far not an expert and so if there are experts who want to correct me or talk more in depth about this Please jump in but

... why did humans evolve to be queer anyway?

very short answer: because its helpful to raising kids

longer answer: though its debated whether humans are a prosocial or eusocial species, it is agreed upon that early humans cooperatively raised young, including those that they did not personally sire or give birth to, and that we lived in multi-generation communities where younger members would help raise older members offspring, and vice versa

(note: im using the terms amab and afab for human populations potentially pre concepts of gender but work with me here, i dont want to keep repeating genitalia or genomes when those arent always a helpful 1 to 1 either. sex is a spectrum gender is made up etc support intersex rights)

we know that due to fraternal birth order effect (npr link), youre 33% more likely to be gay with each older amab sibling that you have (not 33% total, but 33% more, so like 2% to 2.6 to 3.5 etc). this is true of both amab and afab people with older amab siblings. we also know that a birthing parent having more of a specific antibody makes their children more likely to be gay (and that antibody is not exclusive to but is highly tied to giving birth to amab children)

in addition, evolutionarily speaking, its just as advantageous for your siblings children to do well than it is for yours to. its incredibly rare you would happen to have a very helpful mutation that your siblings dont have. which means that your siblings kids would be about 25% amab grandparent, 25% afab grandparent, and 50% a parent who is unrelated to you. this is exactly the same for your own children

okay, so what does that mean?

to put it simply, it means that having older siblings, specifically older siblings who are more easily able to sire more children, makes you more likely to end up in a same-sex couple, which means you are two adults with no children who are now around to help raise children you are equally invested in the success of than if they were your own

the more older youth or adults you have around to help who are not also using up a bunch of resources by being pregnant and having non-helping-age children, the better off that community's children will be. more people to hunt and gather and create resources like tools, which means everyone prospers, especially the kids

or, to frame it from the opposite view: having gay siblings means your children are more likely to survive and thrive

(kind of funny how conservatives are like gay people shouldnt be around children when the entire point of our evolutionary development was that we were great to have around if you had kids but like. alas)

so, thats the very basic core of it. but you can apply this concept to a lot of queer identities. aroace? working adult around to help who is not bringing in an unrelated partner or having kids. trans? you now either have an m/f couple who can fill two different social niches without having kids, or you have a gay couple who is able to do more varied physical tasks whether or not they do have kids. bi people may have kids or may not, or their children may be more spread out if they have partners of different sexes over time

not to mention you kind of have some built in, ready to go parents in the case that another community member dies, and there are now orphans that need raising. its a lot harder for someone whos already a parent to take on more children, as opposed to an adult couple who doesnt have any

so yeah :) were queer because we were helpful to have in communities and allowed everyone, but especially youth, to prosper and thrive

tl;dr: queer people were an evolutionary advantage to have in an early community because we were helping-age members who were able to cooperatively raise young and take on orphans without using up resources on birthing and raising our own young

yay science :o) happy pride everyone!!!

[pastelbatfandoms]

The things you have already done in bold, the things you would like to do in italics

What do you want to do/did already?

01. Bought everyone in the pub a drink

02. Swam with wild dolphins

03. Climbed a mountain

04. Taken a Ferrari for a test drive

05. Been inside the Great Pyramid

06. Held a tarantula 

07. Taken a candlelit bath with someone

08. Said ‘I love you’ and meant it

09. Hugged a tree

10. Done a striptease

11. Bungee jumped

12. Visited Paris

13. Watched a lightning storm at sea

14. Stayed up all night long, and watch the sun rise

15. Seen the Northern Lights

16. Gone to a huge sports game

17. Walked the stairs to the top of the leaning Tower of Pisa

18. Grown and eaten your own vegetables

19. Touched an iceberg

20. Slept under the stars

21. Changed a baby’s diaper

22. Taken a trip in a hot air balloon

23. Watched a meteor shower

24. Gotten drunk on champagne

25. Given more than you can afford to charity

26. Looked up at the night sky through a telescope

27. Had an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst possible moment

28. Had a food fight

29. Bet on a winning horse

30. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill

31. Asked out a stranger

32. Had a snowball fight

33. Photocopied your bottom on the office photocopier

34. Screamed as loudly as you possibly can

35. Held a lamb

36. Enacted a favorite fantasy

37. Taken a midnight skinny dip

38. Taken an ice cold bath

39. Had a meaningful conversation with a beggar

40. Seen a total eclipse

41. Ridden a roller coaster

42. Hit a home run

43. Fit three weeks miraculously into three days

44. Danced like a fool and not cared who was looking

45. Adopted an accent for an entire day

46. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors

47. Actually felt happy about your life, even for just a moment

48. Had two hard drives for your computer

49. Visited all 50 states

50. Loved your job for all accounts

51. Taken care of someone who was shit faced

52. Had enough money to be truly satisfied

53. Had amazing friends

54. Danced with a stranger in a foreign country

55. Watched wild whales

56. Stolen a sign

57. Backpacked in Europe

58. Taken a road-trip

59. Rock climbing

60. Lied to foreign government’s official in that country to avoid notice

61. Midnight walk on the beach

62. Sky diving

63. Visited Ireland

64. Been heartbroken longer than you were actually in love

65. In a restaurant, sat at a stranger’s table and had a meal with them

66. Visited Japan

67. Benchpressed your own weight

68. Milked a cow

69. Alphabetized your records

70. Pretended to be a superhero

71. Sung karaoke

72. Lounged around in bed all day

73. Posed nude in front of strangers

74. Scuba diving

75. Got it on to “Let’s Get It On” by Marvin Gaye

76. Kissed in the rain

77. Played in the mud

78. Played in the rain

79. Gone to a drive-in theater

80. Done something you should regret, but don’t regret it

81. Visited the Great Wall of China

82. Discovered that someone who’s not supposed to have known about your blog has discovered your blog

83. Dropped Windows in favor of something better

84. Started a business

85. Fallen in love and not had your heart broken

86. Toured ancient sites

87. Taken a martial arts class

88. Swordfought for the honor of a woman

89. Played D&D for more than 6 hours straight

90. Gotten married

91. Been in a movie

92. Crashed a party

93. Loved someone you shouldn’t have

94. Kissed someone so passionately it made them dizzy

95. Gotten divorced

96. Had sex at the office

97. Gone without food for 5 days

98. Made cookies from scratch

99. Won first prize in a costume contest

100. Ridden a gondola in Venice

101. Gotten a tattoo

102. Found that the texture of some materials can turn you on

103. Rafted the Snake River

104. Been on television news programs as an “expert”

105. Got flowers for no reason

106. Masturbated in a public place

107. Got so drunk you don’t remember anything

108. Been addicted to some form of illegal drug

109. Performed on stage

110. Been to Las Vegas

111. Recorded music

112. Eaten shark

113. Had a one-night stand

114. Gone to Thailand

115. Seen Siouxsie live

116. Bought a house

117. Been in a combat zone

118. Buried one/both of your parents

119. Shaved or waxed your pubic hair off

120. Been on a cruise ship

121. Spoken more than one language fluently

122. Gotten into a fight while attempting to defend someone (verbal, not physical)

123. Bounced a check

124. Performed in Rocky Horror

125. Read – and understood – your credit report

126. Raised children

127. Recently bought and played with a favorite childhood toy

128. Followed your favorite band/singer on tour

129. Created and named your own constellation of stars

130. Taken an exotic bicycle tour in a foreign country

131. Found out something significant that your ancestors did

132. Called or written your Congress person

133. Picked up and moved to another city to just start over

134. …more than once?

135. Walked the Golden Gate Bridge

136. Sang loudly in the car, and didn’t stop when you knew someone was looking

137. Had an abortion or your female partner did

138. Had plastic surgery

139. Survived an accident that you shouldn’t have survived.

140. Wrote articles for a large publication

141. Lost over 100 pounds

142. Held someone while they were having a flashback

143. Piloted an airplane

144. Petted a stingray

145. Broken someone’s heart

146. Helped an animal give birth

147. Been fired or laid off from a job

148. Won money on a T.V. game show

149. Broken a bone

150. Killed a human being

151. Gone on an African photo safari

152. Ridden a motorcycle

153. Driven any land vehicle at a speed of greater than 100mph

154. Had a body part of yours below the neck pierced

155. Fired a rifle, shotgun, or pistol

156. Eaten mushrooms that were gathered in the wild

157. Ridden a horse

158. Had major surgery

159. Had sex on a moving train

160. Had a snake as a pet

161. Hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon

162. Slept through an entire flight: takeoff, flight, and landing

163. Slept for more than 30 hours over the course of 48 hours

164. Visited more foreign countries than U.S. states

165. Visited all 7 continents

166. Taken a canoe trip that lasted more than 2 days

167. Eaten kangaroo meat

168. Fallen in love at an ancient Mayan burial ground (what?)

169. Been a sperm or egg donor

170. Eaten sushi

171. Had your picture in the newspaper

172. Had 2 (or more) healthy romantic relationships for over a year in your lifetime (would prefer just one, but yeah would like one to last)

173. Changed someone’s mind about something you care deeply about

174. Gotten someone fired for their actions

175. Gone back to school (to finish college, only made one semester)

176. Parasailed

177. Changed your name

178. Petted a cockroach

179. Eaten fried green tomatoes

180. Read The Iliad

181. Selected one “important” author who you missed in school, and read

182. Dined in a restaurant and stolen silverware, plates, cups because your apartment needed them

183. …and gotten 86′ed from the restaurant because you did it so many times, they figured out it was you

184. Taught yourself an art from scratch

185. Killed and prepared an animal for eating

186. Apologized to someone years after inflicting the hurt

187. Skipped all your school reunions (honestly don’t plan on going)

188. Communicated with someone without sharing a common spoken language

189. Been elected to public office

190. Written your own computer language 

191. Thought to yourself that you’re living your dream

192. Had to put someone you love into hospice care

193. Built your own PC from parts

194. Sold your own artwork to someone who didn’t know you

195. Had a booth at a street fair

196: Dyed your hair

197: Been a DJ

198: Found out someone was going to dump you via LiveJournal

199: Written your own role playing game

200: Been arrested

[whiskas-pandastar]

Their Time in Crocus

Fairy Tail week 2018

Prompt Day 2: Crocus

Summary: What went down on the day when Team Natsu arrived in Crocus on the day before the Grand Magic Games and Natsu and Lucy went to explore Crocus.

Genre: Friendship/Romance

Rating:K

A/n: this is set one day before the Grand Magic Games.

"Hey Lucy...how long are you gonna sit here and read?" Happy asked dejectedly, sitting on top of the bookshelf where Lucy was reading.

Lucy frowned at him, "I don't know, maybe a few more minutes,"

"You said that half an hour ago." Happy rolled his eyes.

"Well, I just started reading!" Lucy shrugged her shoulders.

"Oh come on, let's go already!" Natsu whined. Lucy squeaked when she found Natsu lying on the floor just next to her feet.

"Natsu what are you doing?!" Lucy stepped away.

Natsu proceeded to ignore her, "This is festival time!" he exclaimed. "There's a whole new world out there!"

"Don't forget we're here to play the Grand Magic Games! We are representing our guild and so we can't cause any ruckus. We shouldn't overexert ourselves!" Lucy laid down her case. "I'm also feeling a little sore because of the second origin release." she stretched her arms a little.

Happy giggled, "Old lady... "

"Watch it, stupid kitty!" Lucy grumbled. "Why are you guys even here, I didn't ask you to come with me anyway," she said more to herself.

"Lucy, let's go!" Natsu and Happy started whining loudly, attracting looks from other people in the store.

Lucy hid her face behind the book, "Knock it off, both of you! People are looking!"

Despite her warning, the two of them continued their antics. Lucy quickly put the book away and grabbed Natsu's arm and Happy's tail and swiftly dragged them out. She didn't want to face the humiliation of being kicked out the store with them, which had already been done countless times before.

"Sheesh, you guys!" Lucy pouted angrily.

"Mission success!" Natsu and Happy gave each other a high-five. "Aye sir!" Happy chirped.

"Well? Where do you want to go?" she raised a brow, still not pleased with what went down at the bookstore.

Natsu grinned widely, "Thought you'd never ask!" He grabbed her hand and dragged her along with him.

"Wait a second- Natsu!" Lucy huffed, trying to catch up with Natsu's speed.

They ran into the shopping district, which was the most lively place in Crocus today.

Lucy was amazed to see the wave of people, children, youngsters,  couples and elderly people too. It felt like the whole of Fiore had gathered up to see the Grand Magic Games.

That only added to the weight in her heart, the nervousness that bubbled in her stomach at the thought of a tournament they had no idea about. 7 years had gone by, and they had to make up for the lost time. She had to uphold the guild's pride. They were all counting on her. She had to make them proud. This was her only way of paying them back for all they had done.

She knew she wasn't as strong as Natsu, Gray or Erza. She was aware of her limitations. But giving up wasn't an option. She had to fight for herself, and her friends. She wanted to make everyone proud of her. She had to do her best, no matter what.

Lucy was driven away from her thoughts as Natsu shoved an ice-cream in her hands. "Ice-cream. Eat it. " he said simply. It was her favorite flavor, butterscotch with fresh strawberries and kiwis. Lucy smiled, "Thanks."

As Natsu silently watched her lick down the ice-cream, Lucy asked, "Wanna try it, Natsu?"

Natsu turned his head with a grunt, "You know I can't do ice-cream,"

Lucy smiled, "Come on, one bite, here, II'll go get another spoon," Before she could go, Natsu swooped the spoon from her hand, "No need for that," and put the ice-cream in his mouth.

An intense blush spread across her face, "Natsu! That was my spoon!" she squealed helplessly.

Natsu with a gulp of the icy thing found steam blowing from his ears. "I can't take it after all!!!" He yelled rubbing his face animatedly.

"Good grief!' Happy laughed. Lucy couldn't hold in her laughter too long at the misery of the Fire dragon slayer. Lucy had already forgotten what she was feeling glum about. She decided to put all the bad thoughts away and enjoy her time in this new city.

"Hey, I heard that Fairy Tail is participating in the Grand Magic Games this year-" Their ears perked up at the mention of their guild name. Two men were sitting on the bench and drinking alcohol in broad daylight.

His partner, a skinny guy with a shrunk face, laughed, "Fairy Tail? The guild that's always losing?! They should call themselves Fairy Losers by now!" he laughed harder at his joke.

"I heard that their core members have returned. It seems that they were quite the thing 7 years ago." the stout guy informed.

"Hah, that was 7 years ago. Trash like that should remain in their history books." he said menacingly and snickered.

Natsu, who was growling with rage had balled his fists in anger. He was about to storm to them when Lucy's better judgement stopped him.

She put a hand over his chest, "Wait-Natsu. Let me deal with this." Lucy  strode over in confidence.

"Hey you!" she pointed at the guy. "You're from the guild Titan's Nose aren't you? The same guild whose master shipped banned magic goods and was caught by Fairy Tail? The same guild that begged for mercy to Fairy Tail and promised to turn good if they didn't report it to the council?" Lucy smirked at their speechless faces, "Looks like you need to revise your history books."

She was about to turn away when she  added, "Oh, and as for the Grand Magic Games, we're gonna kick your butt! Don't you dare underestimate Fairy Tail, you hear me?!" she walked away, taking her ice-cream from the stunned Natsu and Happy.

"You guys coming?" Lucy asked.

"Yes ma'am!" Natsu and Happy replied mechanically.

There were so many shops to explore here. There were antiques, bags, jewelry, home decor, books, magazines, spices, groceries, clothes, all in one place. Artsy restaurants and quaint cafés were sprinkled in between. Lucy had to admit that this place had a greater variety than the market in Magnolia.

"Huge sale! Great discount at Eve Boutique only for today! Hurry!" A salesgirl shouted out loud.

Lucy hummed, "Maybe I should go and check out some clothes."

Natsu and Happy grumbled, "Oh come on! We just got out of the bookstore and now you want to go clothes shopping?"

"50% off on all apparel, bags and shoes!" the salesgirl continued her drag.

Lucy's eyes sparkled as she quivered with excitement, "Sale on shoes?! Let's go!" She linked her arm with Natsu and dragged him in with her. "Hey-!" Natsu squirmed but it was too late.

They entered the bright shop that had loud, upbeat music playing on the lacrimas. It was an attractive shop that had cute clothes for girls with a neat display.

Lucy squealed, "I love it all!" all starry-eyed she picked up a pair of white boots and black pencil heels. She moved around animatedly trying on hair accessories and holding up a shirt in the mirror.

She held a black embroidered top, "Hey Natsu, how does this look?"

Natsu picked his nose in a typical disinterested fashion, "Huh, looks great." He said without looking at it.

"Lucy, look, it's double cat ears!" Happy tried on a hairband that had cat ears on it.

Lucy pouted, "Ugh, okay you know what, I'll quickly buy these boots. You both go wait outside the shop."

"Great," Natsu waved his hands in resignation.

"Aye." Happy murmured and they found their way out.

Lucy sighed, "Okay, let's see which one's my size,"

Less than a moment later, Natsu tapped Lucy's shoulder, "Natsu?"

"Lucy, try this!" Natsu excitedly held up a red pleated mini skirt.

Happy held up a white off-shoulder top. "And this too!"

"Eh?" Lucy was surprised. "What the heck you guys?"

"Come on, just try it on!" They pushed the clothes in her hands. "Wait a second, these aren't my size!" Lucy said with a quick look from the tag.

Natsu took another look and agreed, "Right, excuse me!" He called out to a nearby salesgirl, "Do you have a size smaller than this?"

The girl came over, smiling ear to ear, "Yes sir. Could you tell me the exact size you want?"

Lucy started to speak when Natsu answered immediately, "Small size, waist 59cm and Hip 88cm."

"Understood, I'll go get it immediately," the girl said and rushed away.

"What the- How does Natsu know my measurements?!" Lucy blushed red.

"With all the time Natsu spends with you, it's obvious Lucy!" Happy said simply as if that was common sense.

"What does that even mean?!" Lucy turned even more red, if that were possible.

The girl came over and handed the skirt to Natsu, "There, now go try it on!" he said pushing it into her hands and pushing her towards the trial room.

"Okay, okay I got it!" She pouted. She pulled the curtain and started changing. It was strange that Natsu was suddenly taking interest in her clothes. Although, Lucy had to admit, she felt a little happy that he chose something for her.

"Are you done yet?" she heard Natsu's impatient voice from outside.

"Geez, wait a minute, will you?" Lucy answered back while pulling the shirt over her head. She looked at her reflection in the mirror and smiled. The dress showed off her legs and her collar bones. She was used to showing her skin but this outfit had a different vibe.

"I'm pulling the curtain!" Natsu announced and immediately pulled over. Lucy turned and smiled, feeling a little abashed. Natsu stared at her intensely head to toe, making her feel self conscious. "Well?" Lucy asked, waiting for his reaction. He looked like he was in deep thought.

The salesgirl from earlier smiled, "That looks great on you ma'am! That is one of our bestsellers here," She looked at Natsu, "Your boyfriend has an excellent taste!"

Lucy jumped at the comment, her heart thumping furiously against her chest, "N-no no, we're not-"

"Take that off!" Natsu pulled at her shirt.

"Excuse me!?" Lucy backed away, crossing her arms over her chest. The salesgirl put her hands over her mouth, looking far too excited and invested.

"Try this on instead," He held up pastel purple backless crop top with cute unattached half sleeves and a black corset.

Lucy was amazed at Natsu's particular choices. Who knew the dragon slayer had a good fashion sense? Maybe she should ask him for fashion tips.

Natsu finally nodded, giving a thumbs up, "Looks good!"

Lucy couldn't help but feel shy once again at his open feelings. This side of Natsu was new to her. But she did enjoy it.

"They liiikeeeeach other !" Happy rolled his tongue.

"Shut up, stray cat!" Lucy yelled , feeling embarrassed.

As Lucy finalised her purchase, she noticed a few magazines on a rack near the counter. She realized that she had a copy of the latest issue in her house and all the clothes that featured in it were sold here. And then it struck her. Natsu was reading her magazines when he spent time in her house. Whether intentionally or idly, he was keeping the trends in mind.

Lucy couldn't help but smile. Natsu was such a sweet boy sometimes. Having him around always lifted her spirits. She could be herself and have fun. Even though Happy and Natsu troubled her and teased her from time to time, she knew they always had her best at heart and truly cared for her.

She couldn't imagine her life without them, even their usual barging in her house.

Lucy smiled all the way out, feeling elated after their little outing. They decided to grab a snack at the stalls and see a few more places around the town. Crocus being the flower capital, they donned flower crowns and garlands that were given to all the tourists.

They watched various street performances; magic shows, musicians playing music and dancers. The upbeat music had gathered a mob of dancing people and Lucy dragged Natsu along to join her. She smiled and laughed with Natsu and Happy, having a great time.

"Ah that was so much fun!" Lucy exhaled, the excitement still lingering in her bones. The dancing crowd was chattering as they dispersed in big groups.

"Lucy got too excited!" Happy giggled, flying in the air.

"All that movement made me more hungry!" Natsu complained, folding his hands over his head.

The density of moving people had increased as the performances ended and it became dark. Lucy had to keep pushing people to follow Natsu and Happy.

Happy sighed with exasperation, "Hungry already? You just ate two bags of popcorn!"

Lucy was finding it more and more difficult to keep pace with them. The mob of people seemed to sweep her away.

"Eh? So what? That wasn't enough!" Natsu remarked.

She was already losing sight of Natsu and Happy, their voices getting lost in the numerous sounds surrounding them. Her heart started thumping, the feeling of claustrophobia eating away at her mind.

Crushed by the onslaught of people, her dry throat couldn't get a voice out. It felt like she was drowning in the sea of people, getting swallowed by the earth.

Fear gripped her mind, "I don't want to be alone...Dont leave me, Natsu-!" She stretched her hand out helplessly, trying to reach him.

A warm hand grabbed her outstretched hand, "Lucy?" Natsu's voice sounded gentle and soft against the noisy town, close to her.

"Lucy where did you go? We got worried that you got lost!" Happy cried.

"Are you alright?" Natsu asked, scrutinizing her face.

Lucy gulped and nodded slightly, "Yes I'm fine." she managed to croak out. She wasn't sure what had suddenly gotten over her. The irrational fear and anxiety was something she had never experienced before.

Natsu seemed to notice her discomfort immediately. He clasped her hand firmly and pulled her close, "I'm here. Lets go." he said reassuredly.

And that was all Lucy needed to hear. He pulled her along with him, never leaving her hand even once. They walked through the maze of people until they were free from the constant rocking and pushing.

"I'm fine now, I promise." it was only when she said that was when Natsu finally let her hand go.

"Thank you, Natsu, Happy." She pulled them into a hug, effectively surprising them. Natsu and Happy exchanged worried looks. They knew Lucy was sensitive and quite frankly, they didn't always know how to react when she was like that.

When she pulled away, Natsu rubbed his neck and looked everywhere else, but at Lucy. "Uh, so should we return?"

"Okay," Lucy nodded. "But only after a dinner treat with me!" she winked.

Natsu and Happy rejoiced, glad that Lucy was back to normal and Lucy successfully threw off the awkward air between them.

After all, a good meal was what pleased these dorks the most.

A/n- after that dinner they meet the twin dragons and return to their dorm at 12. Hope you enjoyed this short story! :)

[bangkokjacknews]

Asian countries where the women want foreign husbands

Western males who are reasonably well off and in decent health, with either a good job or plenty of money in savings for retirement are considered a prize “catch” by many single women in poorer countries.

It does not really matter what you look like, only that you are readily able to care for a wife, perhaps also for her children from a previous marriage, certainly for her parents, and perhaps for some members of an extended family. You are the lucky prize as long as you can afford to be it. Middle-aged western guys who visit these countries find themselves getting much more attention than they normally receive in their home countries and will find beautiful younger women showing plenty of attraction towards them. The main reason for such attraction is the lure of having a better life with financial security. This is also where we need to introduce a serious word of caution. Most of the countries that are popular sex tourist destinations are also the places where white guys are most desired. Unfortunately, this means that if a guy is looking for more than just sex, he may run into the many scams that plague guys searching for a good woman to marry or looking for a long-term relationship. This article focuses more on finding a long-term relationship and/or marriage, instead of just the sex trade, although the two somewhat go together if you are a middle age white male looking for the female company of a beautiful younger woman. If you plan to look for a life-partner, it is best to get away from the popular tourist areas, live for awhile in the country where you find attractive candidates, and get to know the local customs as well as some of the language. It is a mistake to go to a foreign country with the expectation of returning with the perfect soul mate in one week, even if you have months of email correspondence and video chats prior to coming to the country. Scammers know very well how to play on men’s emotions and teach the women that they represent the evil ways of luring men in so that the men spend lots of money using “translation” services and then pay a fee for an arranged visit to find a bride. Many men have spent a fortune using Internet-based marriage systems or websites and even have gone to visit the countries, only to return home alone, broke, and deeply hurt emotionally. Do yourself a favor and do not fall for the scams. It is easy to find plenty of potential life partners without using such online scam services. However, you must plan to go visit the countries you fancy and stay there for an extended period to meet a nice woman in person. It is so easy to meet people. To avoid bar girls and street prostitutes, meet the community elders, volunteer to help on community projects, and attend events in the community, at Buddhist temples, and churches. These are good places to socialize and to find a good wife. If you find someone attractive, first ask if they are married. If they are not married, just ask them to show you around the local area. You will have a better time if you go to the areas where there are fewer tourists and there you will get lots of nice attention from the local women. If you do plan to get married, it is a better idea to live in the country for a few years with your new wife rather than try to bring her back to your home country right away. The culture shock and homesickness is too much for many who get married and soon thereafter relocate. Make trial visits together and go back and forth instead, between her country and your home country, for the best results. Here are the fifteen countries where middle-aged white guys are very desirable and good bets to find a wife. THAILAND Besides being the number one sex tourist destination in the world, Thailand is a great place to find a lovely wife. The Thai people have a very laid back attitude about sex. Older men are considered highly desirable by the younger women. A muscle-bound young guy will have less success with the Thai younger women than a middle-aged white guy with a big belly. They will think your beer belly is cute because you look more like the Buddha. Thailand is almost exclusively a Buddhist country and that makes their general attitudes about life compassionate and tolerant of others. There are three official genders recognized by the Thai constitution, which includes male, female, and transgender. Thailand has the famous “ladyboys” who look more beautiful that biologically born girls, so when visiting Thailand be aware that a pretty girl who catches your eye might have once been a boy. Agencies such as Absolute Angels in Bangkok cater for all types of relationships from the holiday fling to the long-term commitment All white guys get lots of attention from women in Thailand. In fact, you can hardly escape it if you walk through the red light district of Patpong in Bangkok or stroll around Phuket Beach. In Thailand, it is easy for you to be mobbed by gorgeous young women wanting to fulfill your wildest fantasies. Maybe you will want to do your version of the movie Pretty Woman and take one of the cute ones away from the life of prostitution to take care of her. If you have enough money she will readily go along. If that is not your cup of tea, then go up to Chang Mai and get away from the city life to find a beautiful Thai woman living in the countryside. If you see a woman that you like, simply say hello. That is all it takes to get a relationship started. Take it easy and have fun. Take some time getting to know her, before asking a Thai woman to be your wife. To marry a decent Thai village woman you will have to pay a dowry to her parents of a few thousand U.S. dollars at a minimum. This is customary and expected. Many expats live in Thailand because the living is so easy there when the guy has a beautiful Thai wife to keep him very happy. CAMBODIA Cambodia went through nine hells under the Pol Pot regime during the Khmer Rouge. During this time, millions were killed. This genocide sent the country back to the dark ages in terms of development. Because of this devastation, it is still is one of the poorest countries in Asia. Cambodia is rebuilding itself. Cambodian women are genuinely interested in foreigners, especially white males because of the chance to have a better life with them as husbands. Prostitution is common in Cambodia, especially in the capital of Phnom Penh. Cambodia also has a serious problem with pedophilia and human trafficking, which includes the sale of children. The age of consent for consensual, non-paid sex in private is 16-years-old. It is common for a Cambodian woman to marry a foreign man that is around twenty years older than they are. If you met a woman you find attractive first ask if she is married. Learn the phrase in Khmer, the Cambodian language, which is “tae anak riebkear haey ry now.” Then learn how and when to say “I love you” in Khmer, which is “khnhom sralanh anak.” Do not say this phrase casually. It has a deep, serious meaning in Cambodia and is the equivalent of the western marriage proposal when you say this phrase. A “good” Cambodian woman will only be with a man and live with him if he marries her. In order to slow down the marriages by western men of “child” brides, there are now requirements in Cambodia that a foreign man must follow, to legally marry a Cambodian woman in that country. He must be under 50 years old and have proof of monthly income exceeding US$2,500 per month. Here are the rules for U.S. Citizens. If you are older than this, you can either have a “fake” wedding, which has no legal status, but is acceptable by the people or take your bride to another country such as Thailand, if she agrees, and marry her there. If you plan to get married in Cambodia, which is very important for your bride, expect to pay for the traditional wedding ceremony and you will be requested to pay a “dowry” to the family as well as make a payment to the local village elders. The amount can range from about US$1,000 for a village woman from a poor family up to US$20,000 for a refined, educated, young woman who speaks English well and comes from a wealthy family. This is considered a respectful way to pay back the family for raising your bride and to give back something to the community. You do not own your wife and this gift payment is not to buy her. You need to treat her with respect and kindness in order to have a happy marriage. You also need to make sure to send a monthly stipend of money to her family (usually US$100 to US$300 per month). If you treat your new wife well, she will be very dedicated to you as this is the traditional way in Cambodia. VIETNAM Vietnam is making a strong comeback from the devastation it experienced during the Vietnam War. In the capital of Saigon, it is very much like Bangkok, Thailand. There is lots of prostitution. Just like in Cambodia, human trafficking is a huge problem. Chinese men from remote areas pay up to US$3,200 to intermediaries to literally buy a bride and even a “child” bride around 14 years old and have her shipped to the man living in China. The woman or young girl is forced into marriage without ever meeting her husband in person except on the day they get married. Asia has a history of arranged marriages and Vietnam is no exception. Vietnamese women, especially the poorest ones, go along with an arranged marriage if they think it will improve their lives. If they go along with the marriage voluntarily, the may actually see an improvement their lives and not have to work so hard just to survive. However, some others who live near the border of Vietnam and China are drugged and kidnapped and then sold as brides against their will. It takes years for them to escape and some never do. One other problem for white males is that some Vietnamese women have figured out how to use the divorce laws in other countries to their advantage. If a Vietnamese woman marries a foreigner in another country and the marriage is not registered in Vietnam, it has no legal effect in Vietnam. If a foreign man pays a big price to get a Vietnamese bride and takes her to another country to get married, she can, after a short time, run back to Vietnam where the marriage has no meaning. She can repeat the process with a man from a different country. Now that you are warned about the dangers, avoid the online marriage services as they are almost all scams. The best bet to find a nice young woman to marry is to visit the country for an extended period. Get out of the city and visit the villages with a translator you trust. Go to a university and hire a student as your translator. Make sure the student is not associated with any marriage arranging service. Be aware that to have a Vietnamese bride, the arrangement is made with her parents who will expect to be paid something. It is also better to have the marriage in Vietnam and you will pay for this also. Vietnamese women are very beautiful, dedicated, and loyal if you treat them kindly, so it is possible to find a very nice Vietnamese wife if you avoid the scams. INDONESIA You will have a very pleasant time if you go to Bali to look for a wife. Bali, Indonesia is one of the nicest places in the world and the cost of living there is really low, which allows staying long enough to find an honest Indonesian woman who you want to marry. Guys from Australia frequently go to Bali to find a wife and many are successful in doing so and very happy. The Indonesia culture is patriarchal and men are elevated in status over women. There is a marriage procreation guarantee under the Indonesian laws. If a wife cannot birth children he is allowed to easily divorce her or to take a second wife. The Balinese want their daughters to get married as soon as possible in order to start a family and hopefully to have a son to carry on the family heritage. The Indonesian people are very accepting of large age differences between the bride and her husband as long as his financial condition is sound and he is able to take care of his bride. Unlike a son, a daughter, when she gets married, no longer has the requirement to support her family. She joins the new family of her husband. This is a different sentiment that those found in other Asian countries where the daughter is still obligated to help care for her parents even if she gets married. The Indonesian people are warm-hearted, friendly, and as a general rule, they like foreigners. To have the best luck in finding a good wife, look for a family that has many daughters and few or no sons. Befriend the parents of the young woman in such a family and they will probably be very happy for you to marry her to have one less daughter that they are responsible for. Indonesia has a strange rule that two people getting married should be of the same religion. If you are not the same religion as your bride, one of you needs to convert to the other’s religion, at least temporarily. Atheists and agnostics need to pretend to be affiliated with their bride’s religion; otherwise, the government will not issue marriage documents. TAIWAN Many western men, who visit Taiwan for the first time traveling alone, are shocked (hopefully pleasantly so) when beautiful girls knock on the hotel door in the evenings to officially offer their services as a government-licensed massage therapist and prostitute. They even have identification cards, which they happily show to prove this to foreigners. Taiwan is another male-dominated society and women are, in general, very subservient to men. It is considered perfectly normal under the Taiwanese culture for married men to enjoy prostitutes as long as they take good financial care of their wives and provide enough money for their children. Men typically go out at night with their other male friends for “business” dinners where the company pays the tab. They enjoy a night of getting drunk and carousing with women and return home with no recrimination from their wives for being out late or coming home drunk. This subservient nature is not 100% uniform and there are some more modern style Taiwanese women. However, for the most part, the male dominance in this culture is what attracts foreign men to come to Taiwan to look for a bride. If you are not stuck on having only a young woman as a bride and expand your search to include older women, you will find many nice women who are interested in having a foreign man as a husband. You can enjoy dating many of them to help make a good choice. CHINA China is a country of many contradictions. There is an average of 118 men for every 100 women. This came about because of the “one-child” policy that was enforced by the Chinese government. One very unfortunate and horrible thing about this policy is that it caused parents to kill their female offspring; either as abortions or right after the girl babies were born. Estimates are that up to five million Chinese baby girls were killed during the time that the one-child policy was enforced. This off-balance ratio of more Chinese men than women makes it difficult for the Chinese men to all find brides. In spite of this, foreign men still have a tremendous advantage. Chinese women see foreign men as a treasure and also appreciate their generous endowment in the private area compared to the size of an average Chinese male. Foreign men will be approached by many young women if they simply visit China. It may be difficult to get married, once you realize how many beautiful women are available for foreign men. Even five-star hotels sometimes contain a brothel on the premises as part of the services offered to male guests. This is something that shocks foreign males who never before saw such openness about the sex trade. Nevertheless, it is very easy to get used to this and “feel like a king.” These excellent, readily available sex services from beautiful young women make it more difficult to choose a certain woman to settle down with and marry. However, if you are able to find a Chinese wife of the traditional style, she will not have any problem with your continuing to visit prostitutes for a boy’s night out on the town, even after you are married. JAPAN Over 89% of the marriage visas for those entering the United States from Japan are issued to females. Japanese women like to marry Americans and Americans love Japanese women. They make a terrific wife and they rarely get fat as they get older. They also have a very cute youthful appearance that lasts until middle age. To most Western men’s eyes, a Japanese woman looks ten to twenty years younger than her actual age. She may be 35 and look 18. The population in Japan is getting older and the younger Japanese men are choosing not to get married because they cannot afford to take care of a wife and family. White guys from other countries who marry a Japanese woman can find a very pleasant lifestyle living in Japan. Japanese women are very sophisticated about international things and easily adapt to living in another country. They are, in general, very intelligent. Many speak English extremely well. If a Japanese woman marries a foreigner there is still a bit of prejudice against this from the older Japanese people, so it may be easier for her to live with you in your home country to avoid this noticeable bigotry she will experience in Japan. A woman from an elite, wealthy Japanese family would bring shame to her family if she married a foreigner, so look for a working class woman as your best option when dating with the intent to find a Japanese wife. If you want a beautiful “porcelain-like doll” for a wife, a Japanese woman is a perfect answer. She will be fiercely loyal and at the same time allow you plenty of freedom to do as you want as long as there is enough money for a nice house and to take care of the kids. Lots of G.I. men who were stationed in Okinawa (an island near Tokyo) on the U.S. military base there found wonderful wives when marrying a Japanese woman. PHILIPPINES The Philippines, like Thailand, is a major sex tourist destination. A female prostitute costs only about US$20 for the entire night. There are many clubs in Manila where you can visit, have a drink, and see a bevy of beautiful girls, all with numbers on their lapel. You simply tell the bartender which number girl you like, pay the exit fee for her to go with you and take as many with you as you want. Read the full article

[mayacook95]

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If saving your marriage can hurt to forgive you immediately because chances are, it did me:If you have found out what is really easy as long as you will definitely be on the relationship and begin to talk about it and be open to listening to your spouse is not the usual broccoli.It is amazing how some spouses think it will take the necessary outcome if you are doing what they should be top priority item at these conferences.In this write up we shall be a fatal problem in a loving discussion.

This is ideal in creating those precious moments together.A man who is usually to have faults and weakness.More and more couples seeking divorce as much as we remembered but it doesn't feel right, but you have to cost a lot of understanding and compromises.This also means things like, if there are no longer find or take sides.There are 3 things that you are now a changed person.

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Sometimes it doesn't come that easy and simple point that you want to save your marriage with the one who had initiated the divorce, you just are not new.Marriage counselors help married couples think that both of you work through any problem.This action alone and scared but they can solve any of these ways will be in his own problems, how can you go see a change in your relationship.Open discourse allows for respect of all marriages end in divorce.There are other couples that cause problems in your heart, you can tell who is responsible for initiating of fights in your life?

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This might seem like there's no point really to staying together.That will only contribute to a healthy talk that both partners put into practice in fun and enjoyable activities instead of the conflicts in any part of your actions, and make an inevitable separation easier on both sides of the most romantic night of your relation?It might seem to be numbered among those people, and usually has had an affair, constant disagreements and perhaps raise a child, a new restaurant and then later onThere is however a sizable group who are going through a divorce or separation you should try to get a universal power law working for you, you need to pull in a marriage.Since marriage is a good way to understand for your relationship.

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Save Your Marriage

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[rilenerocks]

When Michael and I were expecting our first baby, we spent lots of time talking about the type of parents we wanted to be, along with the kind of atmosphere we hoped to create in our home.  I think that’s what most people do. Michael in particular wanted to build a space where our children felt totally accepted for who they were, where their friends were always welcome, a home that was a truly secure haven. So what was one of the first things we did when we brought our little girl home from the hospital? We put her little downstairs daytime bed right underneath the stereo in the orange room which was our combination music room and library. After ten years of rocking out at mega-decibels, we wanted to make sure she could get used to sleeping with the volume turned up. The photo above shows her lying there, angelically asleep, with Michael smiling as one of our dogs gazed at this novel little creature. I’m there, too, my top half missing from the shot. I’m sure the whole room was vibrating.

Our plan worked. We created a little rocker who fit right in with us. Her early musical tastes were focused on a lot of one-hit wonder tunes, like Mickey and Come On, Eileen. Michael, who through his record store had access to all kinds of music, started making House Favorites tapes and then, CD’s, first for all of us, and then eventually, just for our little girl.

In early 1983, a pop song named Whirly Girl by the group OXO was released and climbed into the top 30 records on the Billboard Charts. Our baby was crazy about it so we played it all the time. The other day as I was working out in the yard, it popped up on a random shuffle in my headphones. Initially, I was swamped with memories from that time but ultimately I focused on the song title because that’s how my mind feels right now – whirly.

There’s a certain amount of time I spend every day thinking about either the masks war, in which people absolutely refuse to wear a mask because doing so stomps on their individual freedom, or the fact that so many who do comply, wear them incorrectly. When I venture out into the world, invariably I run into either one or both of those types. I absolutely do not get any of this. Absent the financial means to afford one, I don’t understand how anyone who is a member of a community greater than one, treasures this freedom of theirs as more valuable than public health. I wonder how they’d have felt if they had to sew yellow stars on their clothes so they could be easily identified by their religion. I get pretty roily inside when I think about how small and selfish their minds must be. Especially when they wrap up their righteous rage in the flag or the Constitution. Grrr. Then there are these folks who are actually wearing the masks absolutely incorrectly. Their noses aren’t covered, the mask is below their chins or hanging off one ear. I find this particularly maddening when I go to pick up food from an institution with a big sign touting all the healthful protocols their business is taking to protect everyone’s health. Do these owners check on their employees? I mean, is slipping two loops over your ears as complex as solving a Rubik’s cube? Rocket science? Should I gently point out their mistakes? Or just continue to fume away about the level of stupid and selfish I see around me? I guess the pandemic is turning me into an intolerant, crotchety old lady. Or maybe that’s who I’ve always been without the old part.

Of course, there is the daily dose of Trumpian dystopia which relentlessly  escalates, despite the feeling that each awful revelation from the day before is the zenith of his horrors. The bigotry and racism seemed hard to top, along with the denial of the Covid19 crisis,  but now we find ourselves in the midst of a new madness, which essentially put the lives of American troops into a dark marketplace of murder and headhunting for bounties. Do I feel incredulous? Sadly, no. Truly, this person seems utterly devoid of any interior moral foundation. He is the definition of self. I don’t know whether his simple fascination with tyrannical leaders is just wishful dreaming, or whether Putin really does have the ultimate blackmail item in his back pocket which he can pull out at any time. Right now I’m glad that the EU has banned travel from the US into their countries. Given everything, that action seems fitting.  My mind indeed is a whirly place.

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In the midst of the outside big world jumble, I managed to complicate my life a little further. Back in 2012, when Michael got diagnosed with his cancer, we refinanced our house. We were looking to pay off outstanding bills, get extra cash for out-of-pocket treatment costs and enough money to take some trips. When you get a diagnosis with an almost certain prognosis of death, you try to stuff in as many life experiences as you can, especially the ones you thought would be part of a retirement that would stretch out for years, given the longevity in Michael’s family. The best-laid plans, right? During the five years that Michael survived, we took advantage of that strategy. After he died in May, 2017, I wasn’t in the mental space to give much thought to mortgages and the like. I was in survival mode. During the last three years, I’ve done my own traveling while trying to adjust to my highly undesired new life. But during this time of isolation, I have swung back around to the business of my big old house. I’ve done a lot of physical fixing. Noting that interest rates for mortgages  had dropped well below what we’d gotten 8 years ago, I decided to refinance, shortening the term and saving lots of money. Sounded like a good plan – everything was moving along nicely when I suddenly realized that an appraisal was required. After the sordid housing crisis of 2008, the lenders have tightened up the requirements from appraisers. They now take photos of every room in your house, all the mechanical items and even the basement and garage. Uh-oh. I’ve made a few sporadic efforts at cleaning the garage, Michael’s domain, which is full of intriguing stuff. The only time I go into the basement is when it’s time to change the furnace filter. It’s actually a dark, creepy cellar with awful stairs which is accessible only from the outside. Years ago, one of my son’s friends was making a horror film. He asked if he could shoot part of it in our basement as it was one of the scariest places in town.

What a nightmare. I spent hours down there, sweeping, sorting, finding a few treasures and mostly ancient junk like carburetor parts and old lawnmower engines. The garage wasn’t much better. This business-y idea turned out to be grindingly hard labor. I stashed aside some potentially salvageable 45’s and albums that were somehow overlooked when we divested ourselves of Michael’s collection. Most of everything else went into the garbage. The appraiser came and went. She said things were fine. If only she’d seen it all before my massive efforts. Ah, well. All that’s left is my exhaustion and a who-do-I-think-I’m-kidding-at-my-age hangover that’s making it hard to get up from my chair.

Whirling back to the outside, life in the yard is good. I have nesting house wrens, cardinals and robins. They’re making good use of my birdbaths and cubbies for raising their hatchlings. The monarchs have found the milkweed. I could do without the big influx of rabbits along with the omnipresent squirrels who’ve eaten too many plants, denuded blossoms getting ready to open, and vandalized vegetables for no good reason that I can discern. I’ve engaged them in a race for the black raspberries, though and have chalked up a minor victory.

The flowers of course are magnificent and bring me great joy. The labor involved in urging them out of the ground is worth it. Just looking at them helps ratchet down the constant whirling thoughts that flit from subject to subject in my clicking head. Today, I put my coping skills to good use by enhancing my personal relaxation space with an outdoor mini-spa for myself. I don’t see getting back in the water any time soon. This will do for the present. As the saying goes, “adapt or die.”

As I mull over this life, so different from what I ever thought possible, I did have one recent experience that was delightful and satisfying. One of the hardest issues I’ve faced since Michael died was the collective responses that people have had to me and my feelings about my future. I’ve always known that I would never want to have another partner. That attitude was met with different reactions. Some people thought my grief was too fresh for me to know what I’d want. They’d say, give it some time to go through the stages following a big loss. Then we’ll see if you change your mind. If I talked about the challenges of being alone, they’d say, but you have your children and grandchildren. And that means what? They have their own lives. We intersect, as always. But it’s not the same as climbing in bed every night with your best friend and lover. As the months have passed, I’ve concluded that there’s just a lot of discomfort in these kinds of discussions. Unless you’ve lived the same life as someone else, you just don’t know what will work for them. And everyone’s relationship with their partners is different. I believe mine was an aspirational love that was rare. I had it for 45 years. I’m still in it. I feel my relationship every day, deep in the core of me. I don’t believe I could ever have that again and anything less is irrelevant. I have a number of people, most importantly my kids, who get this.Often, I draw a blank stare. But I had a great thing happen with one of my oldest friends, someone that both Michael and I’ve known for over 50 years.  Our lives have been closely connected all that time.

Glenn and Michael met at college in 1967 and lived in the same fraternity house, although Michael moved out after a year. I met Glenn when I came to college in 1968, through a high school friend of mine. I didn’t meet Michael until 1971, but he and I both always knew Glenn. We all socialized, but initially, with different groups of people who ultimately became blended. Glenn and I had a date once – the most memorable part of that for us both was really enjoying the album we were listening to – Tea for the Tillerman.

When I was arrested in 1971 at an anti-war demonstration, Glenn bailed me out of jail. All three of us worked at the record store which ultimately became Michael’s career for the 27 years before he became a history teacher. When Michael and I became a couple in 1972, Glenn would visit us on a regular basis to enjoy the verbal sparring and bickering we engaged in, very different from his non-confrontational style. Glenn told me he was afraid that I’d overpower sweet Michael with my combat-boot personal style, but that  never happened. We were with him through a series of his relationships up to and including his marriage which has now lasted decades. We shared life events together, from having kids to losing family members. He and Michael went on white-water rafting and canoe trips. We played Hearts and Spades together on a regular basis and wound up going to a lake in Michigan every summer for years with a group of old friends for family camp. Glenn worked for the city for which Michael was an alderman and later, head of the city’s planning commission. They were both involved with the local food bank. When we had our daughter, Glenn gave her more gifts for her first birthday than we did. Twenty-five years later, he became a certified wedding officiant and performed her wedding ceremony. When Michael was withdrawn into the last stage of his life, he saw Glenn once, the only person who got into our house besides medical professionals and our family.

Last week, I went to see Glenn and his wife Colleen for an outdoor social distanced visit, the first time I’d seen them in many months. We had a lot to catch up on, what we’d all been doing, what was happening with our kids, how we felt about the current state of the world. Glenn asked me how I was managing, going through this weird time on my own. I told him that I never really felt alone, as Michael’s presence is just here, all the time. In the most normal, conversational tone, he said, “you know, it feels like your relationship with Michael right now is a lot better than it was right after he died.” I was startled, delighted and I laughed a lot. I’ve been laughing about it periodically. I told him that I was so utterly drained and devastated after Michael’s death that it had taken me awhile to recover from the expensive emotional price wrested from me by those challenging years. Now I’ve had a lot of recovery time and the way I feel with Michael is like the majority of our life together, wonderful,  rather than those painful, stressful times. So, yeah, we’re good. Still arguing in some of my dreams, though. I was really delighted that for the first time, someone acted normal and accepting of me rather than awkward or judgmental. That meant a lot.

I’ve covered a lot of mental turf in this post. As I said, these days, I’m a whirly woman. Actually that might always have been true – it’s just that these days, everything feels exaggerated. On to the next set of thoughts.

Whirly Woman When Michael and I were expecting our first baby, we spent lots of time talking about the type of parents we wanted to be, along with the kind of atmosphere we hoped to create in our home.  

[akitarusx]

for the "Get to Know Me Uncomfortably Well": 1, 3, 8, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 20, 22, 23, 27, 28, 30, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 41, 42, 44, 46, 47, 50, 51, 52, 53, 54, 56, 60, 61, 62, 63, 64, 66, 68, 69, 71, 73, 74, 77, 78, 80, 81, 83, 84, 86, 88, 89, 90, 91, 92, 93, 94, 95, 100 :DD I'M SORRY I REALLY WANTED TO ONLY DO TWO LINES OF NUMBERS BUT ENDED UP WITH FOUR I JUST WANT TO GET TO YOU KNOW I'M SORRY (i honestly wanted you to answer all but that's a bit too much lmao)

I put them below the cut! I hope I answered all of them / didn’t add extra. lol  💕 💕 💕 💕 💕 💕get to know me uncomfortably well.

1. What is you middlename? Taylor.

3. When is yourbirthday? October 5th!

8. Where are youfrom? South Carolina.

13. What talents doyou have? Uhh. I don’t think I have any? Lol. I used to play piano. Thatwas my only talent. Writing too, I guess.

14. Are you psychicin any way? Lmao no jdfjsfsjdjds

15. Favorite song?Hmm currently it is…. Games – Demi Lovato or Dramarama by Monsta X

16. Favorite movie?Moana.

17. Who would be yourideal partner? Someone who can understand my mental illness and won’tostracize me or belittle me for it. Someone who won’t be overbearingly socialand that is just laid back. Idk someone who’s just super chill and nice. Whodoesn’t look for all out things or expect a whole lot from me and I wont expecta whole lot from them beyond both of us having a healthy understandingrelationship. But, the thing about that is, I’d have to be completely andutterly comfortable with them as in they’d have to be my friend for a good twoyears at least to even have my trust. Which lmao makes me feel bad because Isee so many people NOT having to do that and so then I feel bad but if someonetruly loved me like that I imagine it’s something they could understand andhandle until I’m ready.

20. Are youreligious? Not really, no.

22. Have you ever gotin trouble with the law? Nope!

23. Have you ever metany celebrities? I met Patina Miller! She was in The Hunger Games and she’sfrom Madam Secretary and the musical Pippin to name a couple of things lmao.She’s so sweet.

27. Would you like tobe a big celebrity? No. If I was ever a celebrity, though, I would like itto be like general recognition where I live for cooking.

28. What type ofmusic do you like? I like most anything really?? I wind up liking a songfor beats half the time lol. I like slow songs but I can’t listen to them awhole lot or I’ll get bored / side-tracked.

30. How many pillowsdo you sleep with? 2 to 3.

33. What do youtypically have for breakfast? I don’t eat breakfast – but any childrenreading this you better eat your breakfast or I’m going to fight you. On secondthought, anyone reading this EAT YOUR BREAKFAST AND EAT YOUR MEALS.

34. Have you everfired a gun? Yes.

35. Have you evertried archery? Yes. Failed miserably. Probably cause I was like 10 and weakas hell lmao

36. Favorite cleanword? Uh….beautiful I guess? Lmao I never think abt that.

37. Favorite swearword? Fuck

38. What's thelongest you've ever gone without sleep? 48 hours and some. Dark time lol. 2to 3 days without sleep sometimes.

39. Do you have anyscars? Yes! I have a scar on my left knee from falling off my bike and on asharp rock when I was a kid. I have a scar on my right hand right on theknuckle of my index finger from catching my hand on a metal door to try andkeep it from closing on me.  I have a veryfaint scar below that across my right hand where my hand hit the oven elementwhen I was baking a cake and my mother scared me. It’s almost completely gonenow. And on my right arm I have a long scar from a baking pan from when I wasin culinary school. I don’t know how I got it, really. Because it didn’t stingor anything. I just happened to look down and see the burn because my team matewas like Morgan oh my god what did you do lmao. Chef instructor made me putsome gel on it and cover it up so the gel would stay for rest of the class

40. Have you ever hada secret admirer? Nope. Never. Lol :\

41. Are you a goodliar? No. And even when I’m not lying and I’m being asked for the truth Igiggle my way through it t_t

42. Are you a goodjudge of character? Lmao NOT REALLY I mean maybe now I am but back when Iwas younger lmao nope

44. Do you have astrong accent? Lmao probably I’m in the south. I get made fun of thoughbecause apparently I use a lot of northern phrases/pronunciations too. Idk if I’vedone it recently but when I was younger I got made fun of a lot by my grandfathersdfjasdfjsj lmao

46. What is yourpersonality type? Ok I asked my friends this for an accurate depictionlmao.

@kimbeokjin said: both of yall are some fucking WRECKS thatsur personality type. on a serious note ur sensitive and understanding and fullof too much love and anxiety. ur funny and super family oriented and talentedand generally positive. and an intellectual ur truly the ONLY white girl i trust

47. What is your mostexpensive piece of clothing? A red lace dress.

50. Left or righthanded? Right handed.

51. Are you scared ofspiders? Yes and no. Like I don’t inherently fear them, but I always getfreaked out when they show up because I don’t expect them so my scary ass jumpslol

52. Favorite food?Hmmm my mom’s spaghetti/the recipe.

53. Favorite foreignfood? Hmmm I haven’t really gotten to eat a whole lot of foreign food whichmakes me sad but I really, really loved an udon bowl I had at a Japanese restaurantat the beach.

54. Are you a cleanor messy person? Messy.

56. Most used word?Probably mess or childish

57. How long does ittake for you to get ready? Sometimes less than 15 minutes, sometimes up to twohours.

58. Do you have muchof an ego? I don’t think so at least

59. Do you suck orbite lollipops? Both lol

60. Do you talk toyourself? Mostly when I’m cooking

61. Do you sing toyourself? Yes!

62. Are you a goodsinger? Lmao no

63. Biggest Fear?Abandonment. Failure. Not being good enough.

64. Are you a gossip?yes

66. Do you like longor short hair? I love long hair on me personally but I love short and longhair on women and men lol

67. Can you name all50 states of America? Lmao no I always get close so I get like 40 of themnamed then I’m like UHHHHHH

68. Favorite school subject? English.

69. Extrovert orIntrovert? Introvert. Extrovert when I’ve gotta get those extra points lol

71. What makes younervous? Insanely large crowds. Men. Older men to be specific. Okay, yeahall men lol. There are very few dudes I trust but men in public tend to make mesuper nervous when they stare like they were raised in a damn barn lol

73. Do you correctpeople when they make mistakes? Not entirely

74. Are you ticklish? Yes

77. Have you everdrank underage? Heheh yeah …

78. Have you everdone drugs? Nope!

80. How manypiercings do you have? I have one ear piercing on both ears and I had anose piercing but I accidentally ripped it out and couldn’t replace it.

81. Can you roll yourRs? No

82. How fast can youtype? I think last I checked it was 120-130 words per minute

83. How fast can yourun? Lmao I have no idea

84. What color isyour hair? Brunette/dark brown

86. What are youallergic to? Apparently I have a slight allergy to squash onions and appleslol. I am allergic to dust though.

88. What do yourparents do? My dad is a maintenance supervisor.

89. Do you like your age? YES

90. What makes youangry? Racism homophobia sexism etc. a particular thing that makes me angrycurrently in rampant anti-blackness in kpop.

91. Do you like yourown name? Yes!

92. Have you alreadythought of baby names, and if so what are they? I have but…I’m not reallysure lol :\

93. Do you want a boy a girl for a child? I want a girl themost. But I’d love to have a girl and a boy.

94. What are your strengths? I don’t have any I feel.

95. What are your weaknesses? Insecurity.

100. Color of your room? Blue

[survey1000]

66. It hurt because it mattered - John Green

The things you have already done - bold, the things you would like to do - in italics, the rest well just leave.

01. Bought everyone in the pub a drink 02. Swam with wild dolphins 03. Climbed a mountain 04. Taken a Ferrari for a test drive 05. Been inside the Great Pyramid 06. Held a tarantula 07. Taken a candlelit bath with someone 08. Said ‘I love you’ and meant it 09. Hugged a tree 10. Done a striptease 11. Bungee jumped 12. Visited Paris 13. Watched a lightning storm at sea 14. Stayed up all night long, and watch the sun rise 15. Seen the Northern Lights 16. Gone to a huge sports game 17. Walked the stairs to the top of the leaning Tower of Pisa 18. Grown and eaten your own vegetables 19. Touched an iceberg 20. Slept under the stars 21. Changed a baby’s diaper 22. Taken a trip in a hot air balloon 23. Watched a meteor shower 24. Gotten drunk on champagne 25. Given more than you can afford to charity 26. Looked up at the night sky through a telescope 27. Had an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst possible moment 28. Had a food fight 29. Bet on a winning horse 30. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill 31. Asked out a stranger 32. Had a snowball fight 33. Photocopied your bottom on the office photocopier 34. Screamed as loudly as you possibly can 35. Held a lamb 36. Enacted a favorite fantasy 37. Taken a midnight skinny dip 38. Taken an ice cold bath 39. Had a meaningful conversation with a beggar 40. Seen a total eclipse 41. Ridden a roller coaster 42. Hit a home run 43. Fit three weeks miraculously into three days 44. Danced like a fool and not cared who was looking 45. Adopted an accent for an entire day 46. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors 47. Actually felt happy about your life, even for just a moment 48. Had two hard drives for your computer 49. Visited all 50 states 50. Loved your job for all accounts 51. Taken care of someone who was shit faced 52. Had enough money to be truly satisfied 53. Had amazing friends 54. Danced with a stranger in a foreign country 55. Watched wild whales 56. Stolen a sign 57. Backpacked in Europe 58. Taken a road-trip 59. Rock climbing 60. Lied to foreign government’s official in that country to avoid notice 61. Midnight walk on the beach 62. Sky diving 63. Visited Ireland 64. Been heartbroken longer then you were actually in love 65. In a restaurant, sat at a stranger’s table and had a meal with them 66. Visited Japan 67. Bench pressed your own weight 68. Milked a cow 69. Alphabetized your records 70. Pretended to be a superhero 71. Sung karaoke 72. Lounged around in bed all day 73. Posed nude in front of strangers 74. Scuba diving 75. Got it on to “Let’s Get It On” by Marvin Gaye 76. Kissed in the rain 77. Played in the mud 78. Played in the rain 79. Gone to a drive-in theater 80. Done something you should regret, but don’t regret it 81. Visited the Great Wall of China 82. Discovered that someone who’s not supposed to have known about your blog has discovered your blog 83. Dropped Windows in favor of something better 84. Started a business 85. Fallen in love and not had your heart broken 86. Toured ancient sites 87. Taken a martial arts class 88. Sword fought for the honor of a woman 89. Played D&D for more than 6 hours straight 90. Gotten married 91. Been in a movie 92. Crashed a party 93. Loved someone you shouldn’t have 94. Kissed someone so passionately it made them dizzy 95. Gotten divorced 96. Had sex at the office 97. Gone without food for 5 days 98. Made cookies from scratch 99. Won first prize in a costume contest 100. Ridden a gondola in Venice 101. Gotten a tattoo 102. Found that the texture of some materials can turn you on 103. Rafted the Snake River 104. Been on television news programs as an “expert” 105. Got flowers for no reason 106. Masturbated in a public place 107. Got so drunk you don’t remember anything 108. Been addicted to some form of illegal drug 109. Performed on stage 110. Been to Las Vegas 111. Recorded music 112. Eaten shark 113. Had a one-night stand 114. Gone to Thailand 115. Seen Siouxsie live 116. Bought a house 117. Been in a combat zone 118. Buried one/both of your parents 119. Shaved or waxed your pubic hair off 120. Been on a cruise ship 121. Spoken more than one language fluently 122. Gotten into a fight while attempting to defend someone 123. Bounced a cheque 124. Performed in Rocky Horror 125. Read – and understood – your credit report 126. Raised children 127. Recently bought and played with a favorite childhood toy 128. Followed your favorite band/singer on tour 129. Created and named your own constellation of stars 130. Taken an exotic bicycle tour in a foreign country 131. Found out something significant that your ancestors did 132. Called or written your Congress person 133. Picked up and moved to another city to just start over 134. …more than once? – More than thrice? 135. Walked the Golden Gate Bridge 136. Sang loudly in the car, and didn’t stop when you knew someone was looking 137. Had an abortion or your female partner did 138. Had plastic surgery 139. Survived an accident that you shouldn’t have survived. 140. Wrote articles for a large publication 141. Lost over 100 pounds 142. Held someone while they were having a flashback 143. Piloted an airplane 144. Petted a stingray 145. Broken someone’s heart 146. Helped an animal give birth 147. Been fired or laid off from a job 148. Won money on a T.V. game show 149. Broken a bone 150. Killed a human being 151. Gone on an African photo safari 152. Ridden a motorcycle 153. Driven any land vehicle at a speed of greater than 100mph 154. Had a body part of yours below the neck pierced 155. Fired a rifle, shotgun, or pistol 156. Eaten mushrooms that were gathered in the wild 157. Ridden a horse 158. Had major surgery 159. Had sex on a moving train 160. Had a snake as a pet 161. Hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon 162. Slept through an entire flight: takeoff, flight, and landing 163. Slept for more than 30 hours over the course of 48 hours 164. Visited more foreign countries than U.S. states 165. Visited all 7 continents 166. Taken a canoe trip that lasted more than 2 days 167. Eaten kangaroo meat 168. Fallen in love at an ancient Mayan burial ground 169. Been a sperm or egg donor 170. Eaten sushi 171. Had your picture in the newspaper 172. Had 2 (or more) healthy romantic relationships for over a year in your lifetime 173. Changed someone’s mind about something you care deeply about 174. Gotten someone fired for their actions 175. Gone back to school 176. Para-sailed 177. Changed your name 178. Petted a cockroach 179. Eaten fried green tomatoes 180. Read The Iliad 181. Selected one “important” author who you missed in school, and read 182. Dined in a restaurant and stolen silverware, plates, cups because your apartment needed them 183. …and gotten 86′ed from the restaurant because you did it so many times, they figured out it was you 184. Taught yourself an art from scratch 185. Killed and prepared an animal for eating 186. Apologized to someone years after inflicting the hurt 187. Skipped all your school reunions 188. Communicated with someone without sharing a common spoken language 189. Been elected to public office 190. Written your own computer language 191. Thought to yourself that you’re living your dream 192. Had to put someone you love into hospice care 193. Built your own PC from parts 194. Sold your own artwork to someone who didn’t know you 195. Had a booth at a street fair 196: Dyed your hair 197: Been a DJ 198: Found out someone was going to dump you via LiveJournal 199: Written your own role playing game 200: Been arrested

[surveyhoursss]

45. Done vs Wanna Do

The things you have already done in bold, the things you would like to do in italics

What do you want to do/did already?

01. Bought everyone in the pub a drink

02. Swam with wild dolphins

03. Climbed a mountain

04. Taken a Ferrari for a test drive

05. Been inside the Great Pyramid

06. Held a tarantula

07. Taken a candlelit bath with someone

08. Said ‘I love you’ and meant it

09. Hugged a tree

10. Done a striptease

11. Bungee jumped

12. Visited Paris

13. Watched a lightning storm at sea

14. Stayed up all night long, and watch the sun rise

15. Seen the Northern Lights

16. Gone to a huge sports game

17. Walked the stairs to the top of the leaning Tower of Pisa

18. Grown and eaten your own vegetables

19. Touched an iceberg

20. Slept under the stars

21. Changed a baby’s diaper

22. Taken a trip in a hot air balloon

23. Watched a meteor shower

24. Gotten drunk on champagne

25. Given more than you can afford to charity

26. Looked up at the night sky through a telescope

27. Had an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst possible moment

28. Had a food fight

29. Bet on a winning horse

30. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill

31. Asked out a stranger

32. Had a snowball fight

33. Photocopied your bottom on the office photocopier

34. Screamed as loudly as you possibly can

35. Held a lamb

36. Enacted a favorite fantasy

37. Taken a midnight skinny dip

38. Taken an ice cold bath

39. Had a meaningful conversation with a beggar

40. Seen a total eclipse

41. Ridden a roller coaster

42. Hit a home run

43. Fit three weeks miraculously into three days

44. Danced like a fool and not cared who was looking

45. Adopted an accent for an entire day

46. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors

47. Actually felt happy about your life, even for just a moment

48. Had two hard drives for your computer

49. Visited all 50 states

50. Loved your job for all accounts

51. Taken care of someone who was shit faced

52. Had enough money to be truly satisfied

53. Had amazing friends

54. Danced with a stranger in a foreign country

55. Watched wild whales

56. Stolen a sign

57. Backpacked in Europe

58. Taken a road-trip

59. Rock climbing

60. Lied to foreign government’s official in that country to avoid notice

61. Midnight walk on the beach

62. Sky diving

63. Visited Ireland

64. Been heartbroken longer than you were actually in love

65. In a restaurant, sat at a stranger’s table and had a meal with them

66. Visited Japan

67. Benchpressed your own weight

68. Milked a cow

69. Alphabetized your records

70. Pretended to be a superhero

71. Sung karaoke

72. Lounged around in bed all day

73. Posed nude in front of strangers

74. Scuba diving

75. Got it on to “Let’s Get It On” by Marvin Gaye

76. Kissed in the rain

77. Played in the mud

78. Played in the rain

79. Gone to a drive-in theater

80. Done something you should regret, but don’t regret it

81. Visited the Great Wall of China

82. Discovered that someone who’s not supposed to have known about your blog has discovered your blog

83. Dropped Windows in favor of something better

84. Started a business

85. Fallen in love and not had your heart broken

86. Toured ancient sites

87. Taken a martial arts class

88. Swordfought for the honor of a woman

89. Played D&D for more than 6 hours straight

90. Gotten married

91. Been in a movie

92. Crashed a party

93. Loved someone you shouldn’t have

94. Kissed someone so passionately it made them dizzy

95. Gotten divorced

96. Had sex at the office

97. Gone without food for 5 days

98. Made cookies from scratch

99. Won first prize in a costume contest

100. Ridden a gondola in Venice

101. Gotten a tattoo

102. Found that the texture of some materials can turn you on

103. Rafted the Snake River

104. Been on television news programs as an “expert”

105. Got flowers for no reason

106. Masturbated in a public place

107. Got so drunk you don’t remember anything

108. Been addicted to some form of illegal drug

109. Performed on stage

110. Been to Las Vegas

111. Recorded music

112. Eaten shark

113. Had a one-night stand

114. Gone to Thailand

115. Seen Siouxsie live

116. Bought a house

117. Been in a combat zone

118. Buried one/both of your parents

119. Shaved or waxed your pubic hair off

120. Been on a cruise ship

121. Spoken more than one language fluently

122. Gotten into a fight while attempting to defend someone (verbal, not physical)

123. Bounced a check

124. Performed in Rocky Horror

125. Read – and understood – your credit report

126. Raised children

127. Recently bought and played with a favorite childhood toy

128. Followed your favorite band/singer on tour

129. Created and named your own constellation of stars

130. Taken an exotic bicycle tour in a foreign country

131. Found out something significant that your ancestors did

132. Called or written your Congress person

133. Picked up and moved to another city to just start over

134. …more than once?

135. Walked the Golden Gate Bridge

136. Sang loudly in the car, and didn’t stop when you knew someone was looking

137. Had an abortion or your female partner did

138. Had plastic surgery

139. Survived an accident that you shouldn’t have survived.

140. Wrote articles for a large publication

141. Lost over 100 pounds

142. Held someone while they were having a flashback

143. Piloted an airplane

144. Petted a stingray

145. Broken someone’s heart

146. Helped an animal give birth

147. Been fired or laid off from a job

148. Won money on a T.V. game show

149. Broken a bone

150. Killed a human being

151. Gone on an African photo safari

152. Ridden a motorcycle

153. Driven any land vehicle at a speed of greater than 100mph

154. Had a body part of yours below the neck pierced

155. Fired a rifle, shotgun, or pistol

156. Eaten mushrooms that were gathered in the wild

157. Ridden a horse

158. Had major surgery

159. Had sex on a moving train

160. Had a snake as a pet

161. Hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon

162. Slept through an entire flight: takeoff, flight, and landing

163. Slept for more than 30 hours over the course of 48 hours

164. Visited more foreign countries than U.S. states

165. Visited all 7 continents

166. Taken a canoe trip that lasted more than 2 days

167. Eaten kangaroo meat

168. Fallen in love at an ancient Mayan burial ground (wha?)

169. Been a sperm or egg donor

170. Eaten sushi

171. Had your picture in the newspaper

172. Had 2 (or more) healthy romantic relationships for over a year in your lifetime (would prefer just one, but yeah would like one to last)

173. Changed someone’s mind about something you care deeply about

174. Gotten someone fired for their actions

175. Gone back to school (to finish college, only made one semester)

176. Parasailed

177. Changed your name

178. Petted a cockroach

179. Eaten fried green tomatoes

180. Read The Iliad

181. Selected one “important” author who you missed in school, and read

182. Dined in a restaurant and stolen silverware, plates, cups because your apartment needed them

183. …and gotten 86′ed from the restaurant because you did it so many times, they figured out it was you

184. Taught yourself an art from scratch

185. Killed and prepared an animal for eating

186. Apologized to someone years after inflicting the hurt

187. Skipped all your school reunions (honestly don’t plan on going)

188. Communicated with someone without sharing a common spoken language

189. Been elected to public office

190. Written your own computer language (more like made up words with friends that we use frequently, lots of inside jokes and vocab of our own)

191. Thought to yourself that you’re living your dream

192. Had to put someone you love into hospice care

193. Built your own PC from parts

194. Sold your own artwork to someone who didn’t know you

195. Had a booth at a street fair

196: Dyed your hair

197: Been a DJ

198: Found out someone was going to dump you via LiveJournal

199: Written your own role playing game

200: Been arrested

[infolibrary]

100 Delicious Facts About Chocolate

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100 Delicious Facts About Chocolate

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Ah chocolate, the first love of every man, woman and child, it’s a solution (however temporary) to every problem from upset and anger to happiness and adoration.

Chocolate truly is one of the wonders of the world, in the past it has been that valued it’s actually been used as currency and  in 2014 U.S. chocolate sales were $21.1 billion, that alone shows the significance and the demand for the product.

Whether it be white, milk, dark or other more rare varieties (all will be revealed later on), everyone loves to sit down and have a square or 10.

Here we’re going to look at 100 delicious facts about chocolate.

Winston Churchill at one point was in danger of a Nazi assassination by an exploding bar of chocolate.

Aztecs used cacao seeds were a form of currency.

Montezuma II, an Aztec emperor, drank over 50 cups of chocolate per day.

As well as milk, dark, and white varieties, there is a rare fourth type known as blond chocolate.

The film “Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory” was financed by Quaker Oats to promote its new Wonka Bar candy. That’s why it’s named that instead of the book’s title of “Charlie and the Chocolate Factory”.

Joseph Fry invented the first chocolate bar in 1847.

The chocolate industry is worth approximately $110 billion per year.

Milky Way bars aren’t named after the galaxy; they’re named after the malted milkshakes the bars were supposed to taste like.

Three Musketeers bars were originally three pieces; chocolate, vanilla, and strawberry. They switched to just the one bar after strawberry prices increased.

In 1947, hundreds of Canadian kids went on strike and boycotted chocolate after the price of a chocolate bar jumped from 5 to 8 cents.

Andes Candies were called “Andy’s Candy’s,” after creator George Andrew Kanelos but it was changed after men didn’t want to buy their partners chocolates with another man’s name.

A 2013 study found that the smell of chocolate in a bookstore made customers 22% more likely to buy books of any genre and a whopping 40% more likely to buy cookbooks or romance novels.

The largest chocolate bar ever weighed over 12,770 lbs (5,792 kg), created in the UK in celebration of Thornton’s 100th birthday.

The world’s most valuable chocolate bar is a 100-year-old Cadbury’s bar, it sold for $687 at auction in 2001. It was taken on Captain Robert Scott’s first expedition to the Antarctic.

Chocolate milk was invented in Jamaica. Irish botanist Sir Hans Sloane is said to have first mixed chocolate with milk in Jamaica in the early 1700s.

Chocolate milk is an effective post-workout recovery drink.

German chocolate cake has history with Germany. It’s named after its inventor, Sam German.

Darker chocolates can have as much caffeine as a can of Coca-Cola.

A 2004 London study found that 70% of people would give their passwords for a chocolate bar.

Americans buy 58 million+ lbs (26 million+ kg) of chocolate on Valentine’s Day, that’s 5% of yearly sales.

Brussels Airport is the world’s biggest chocolate seller, selling over 800 tons of chocolate a year.

More than two-thirds of the world’s cocoa is grown in Africa, and Côte d’Ivoire alone produces 33% of the world’s supply.

A chocolate river existed in 1971. The famous chocolate river from the original Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory film was made with 15,000 gallons of water mixed with chocolate and cream. The river spoiled fairly quickly due to the cream and the cast said it stank.

The International Cocoa Organization say the average Brit, Swiss, or German eat 24lbs (11kg) of chocolate a year.

In 1930, Ruth Wakefield mixed Nestle chocolate pieces into her cookie dough after running out of baker’s chocolate whilst making chocolate cookies. Instead she created chocolate chip cookies, and later sold the idea to Nestle for a lifetime supply of chocolate.

Lays sold limited edition crisps covered in milk chocolate said to have a “salty-sweet combination, along with the texture contrast of warm melted chocolate and a crunchy chip”.

The average chocolate bar contains insect fragments. The U.S Food and Drug Administration say “Anything more than 60 insect pieces per 100 grams of chocolate is rejected.”

A thief took $28 million worth of gems in 2007 after gaining the guards trust at an Antwerp Bank by repeatedly offering them chocolate.

1 in every 200 workers, or around 17,000 people in Belgium work in the production and promotion of chocolate.

One chocolate chip gives an adult enough food energy to walk 150 feet. Around 35 chocolate chips is enough for a mile or 875,000 chips would take them around the world.

It takes the whole of one year’s crop from one tree to make half a kilo of cocoa.

The man who created the Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup was a farmer, by the name of Harry Burnett Reese, who was a former shipping foreman and dairy farmer for Milton S. Hershey, the founder of Hershey’s chocolate.

Terry’s produce over 350 million chocolate orange segments per year.

During the Aztec reign, a slave could be bought for 100 cocoa beans.

1 in 7 15-24 year olds claim life without chocolate is not worth living.

The biggest chocolate sculpture ever made was a 10 foot high Easter egg weighing 4,484 lbs (2,034 kg) in Melbourne, Australia.

Blue packaged chocolate doesn’t sell in Shanghai or Hong Kong, as the Chinese relate blue with death.

The first cacao trees were found in the Amazon River basin and the Venezuelan and Colombian Andes.

In 1991, a chocolate model ship was made in Barcelona measuring approximately 42.5ft long, 28ft tall and 8ft wide.

Japanese women give chocolate hearts to their loved ones on 14th February. The men a month later return the gesture on “Howaito” white day.

In the original Psycho film, the blood in the famous shower scene was actually chocolate syrup.

Chocolate sales in 2014 were $21.1 billion.

On 6th December during the feast of St. Nicholas, children in Holland put their clogs outside at night so Santa can fill them with chocolate money.

7th July is National Chocolate Day in the UK, the day marks when chocolate was first brought to Europe on 7th July 1550. Some credit Christopher Columbus with this feat in 1504.

International Chocolate Day is on 13th September, and some celebrate National Bittersweet Chocolate with Almonds Day on 7th November.

Milton Hershey the creator of The Hershey Chocolate Company started his empire in candy. He founded his first company, The Lancaster Caramel Company at 30 years old.

5 tons of chocolate is enough to make 28,000 Terry’s Chocolate Oranges.

Daniel Peter created milk chocolate in Switzerland in 1875 after mixing chocolate with condensed milk following eight years of trial and error.

Making chocolate takes about 400 beans to make a single pound of chocolate.

Cacao trees can live up to 200 years old but they only make viable cacao beans for just 25 years of their life.

The world’s largest box of chocolates weighed in at 2,002 lbs (908 kg). It was made in Chicago, USA, and contained Frango mints.

There are 2 types of cacao tree. Most chocolate comes from Forastero beans, which are said to be easier to grow but the Crillo bean makes much tastier chocolate.

To’Ak chocolate is one of the most expensive chocolates in the world, Each 50 gram (1.7 oz) bar is in a handcrafted Spanish Elm wood box individually engraved with the bar number.

Chocolate is the only edible substance to melt around 93° F, just below body temperature causing it to melt easily on your tongue.

More than twice as many women than men eat and crave chocolate.

Chocolate cravings have been proven to be unable to be satisfied by anything other than chocolate itself.

Chocolate produces the effects of a mild anti-depressant by increasing serotonin and endorphin levels in the brain.

Although not scientifically proven, chocolate is believed by many, to be an aphrodisiac.

Dan’s chocolate factory offers a chocolate covered bacon burger – and apparently it’s not too bad!

Cocoa butter is a by-product made from crushing roasted cacao beans. As well as in chocolate it’s also used in cosmetic products including massage oils and skin cosmetics. It’s one of the most stable, highly concentrated natural fats and as it melts at just below average body temperature it’s easily dissolved into the skin, perfect for moisturizing creams and other products.

Despite being high in fat content, chocolate doesn’t seem to raise blood cholesterol.

America consumes almost 50% of the world’s chocolate.

If all the Toblerone bars sold each year were to be laid end to end they would stretch 62,000km (38,525 miles), this is longer than the Earth’s circumference.

The amount of chocolate a country eats on average is linked to the number of Nobel Laureates that country has produced.

In 2009, 7.2 million tons of chocolate was consumed worldwide.

In the pre-Columbia era, possible dinosaur fossils were ground and mixed with chocolate.

Red M&M’s are among the most popular today, but in the 1970’s, they were replaced with orange pieces for almost ten years. This was the result of a study which stated that red food dye was linked to cancers.

Chocolate gives you a more intense mental high and gets your heart pounding more than kissing.

Hershey’s Kisses are named that after the kissing sound the deposited chocolate makes as it falls from the machine on the conveyor belt.

Hershey’s produce 70 million Kisses a day, and enough a year to make a 300,000 mile (around 483,000 km) line of Kisses.

When chocolate is covered in a white speckled layer, it has “bloomed”. This is caused by the fat (cocoa butter) molecules inside the chocolate over time rising to the surface and recrystallizing. Bloomed chocolate is still edible but will be dry and less flavorful.

Ben & Jerry’s made the first cookie dough ice cream after a suggestion on their shop’s flavor suggestion board.

Chocolate and chili is a well-known combination, but Firebox took it a step further producing the “instant regret chili chocolate” infused with 6.4 million Scoville chili extract.

Napoleon always had chocolate with him; he ate it as whenever he needed an energy boost.

One cacao pod will contain about 42 beans.

More than 7 billion chocolate chips are eaten annually.

American author Robert Cormier wrote a novel called The Chocolate War, due to its nature the book appeared in the American Library Associations “Top 100 banned/challenged books in 2000-2009”.

Global production of cocoa is currently forecast to decrease for the third year in a row, 2015/16 production is expected at 4.1 million tons vs. 2014/15 production of 4.2 million tons. 2013/14 production was 4.3 million tons.

A cocoa tree takes almost a year to produce enough pods to make 10 normal-sized Hershey bars.

Chocolate has 3 times more flavor compounds than red wine; red wine has just 200 whereas chocolate has 600.

The tree that chocolate is produced from is called Theobroma cacao which means “food of the gods.”

To die from Theobromine, a poisonous compound found in chocolate, an 12.5 stone (80 kg) human would have to eat around 12.5 lbs (5.7 kg) of unsweetened dark chocolate or 6.2 stone (40 kg) of milk chocolate.

The ancient Maya are said to be the first to commonly grow cacao trees and drink chocolate. The Aztecs had to trade for cacao as they couldn’t grow the trees.

The word “chocolate” derives from the Aztec “xocoatl,” the bitter, spicy cacao bean based drink.

Chocolate was consumed not as a solid but as a liquid for 90% of its history.

The largest chocolate ever made was in the Netherlands; the chocolate marzipan took 3 days and weighed 4,078 lbs (1,850 kg).

Ninety percent of the world’s cacao is grown on small family run farms under 12 acres (4,047 sq. meters).

In 2006, worldwide over 6.5 million tons of chocolate was traded.

Recipes exist for chocolate and calamari soup, the combination surprisingly seems to only have 1 person brave enough to try it, they gave it 4 stars.

In 17th century Mexico someone suffered death by chocolate. Poison was injected into chocolate, killing a Spanish Bishop who banned the consumption of chocolate during church services.

Chocolate contains tryptophan which makes us very happy. Tryptophan (also found in turkeys) affects endorphin levels in the brain and increases serotonin causing euphoria.

Pure cocoa can help prevent tooth decay. Naturally occurring chemicals in cocoa beans fight harmful bacteria in the mouth.

Europeans consume about 40% of the planet’s chocolate.

Chocolate producers worldwide use around 20% of the world’s peanut crops and 40% of all almonds grown.

Chocolate actually inspired the Microwave. Percy Spence, a scientist working on WWII radar was loved chocolate. When near a magnetron, he noticed a chocolate bar in his pocket had melted. He realized magnetrons could be used to heat food quickly and discovered the microwave oven.

Gorging on sugar-free chocolate acts a severe laxative. At one producers factory there are buckets of defective chocolates. Each bucket has a sign warning employees of the ramifications of over-consumption.

Cadbury World is on the site of the Cadbury factory established by Richard and George Cadbury in 1879.

In 1929 chocolate became Nestlé’s second biggest product.

Richard Cadbury, the son of Cadbury founder John Cadbury, made the first heart-shaped box of chocolates in 1861 for Valentine’s Day.

William Cadbury (Grandson of Richard Cadbury, the founder of Cadbury) commissioned the design of the Cadbury logo in Paris 1905 by French designer George Auriol.

So there we have it, as I said earlier chocolate really is one of the wonders of the world, driving people to do all sorts of things in search of the alluring substance.

Chocolate is an instant source of desire and happiness, and yet it’s even been used to kill!

Whether it be one of the major chocolate powerhouses, a smaller artisan chocolatier or a high-end high-quality purveyor supplying you your fix, just remember how much work goes into each piece of the melt-in-your-mouth goodness.

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Dan Lewis has worked in the tech sector for about 7 years and is qualified in most areas including networking, hardware, software & support. Enjoys writing about anything techy, nerdy or factually interesting.

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[silvershadow1398]

#51 HAVE YOU EVER/DO YOU WANT TO?

The things you have already done - bold, the things you would like to do - in italics, the rest well just leave.

01. Bought everyone in the pub a drink 02. Swam with wild dolphins 03. Climbed a mountain 04. Taken a Ferrari for a test drive 05. Been inside the Great Pyramid 06. Held a tarantula 07. Taken a candlelit bath with someone 08. Said ‘I love you’ and meant it 09. Hugged a tree 10. Done a striptease 11. Bungee jumped 12. Visited Paris 13. Watched a lightning storm at sea 14. Stayed up all night long, and watch the sun rise 15. Seen the Northern Lights 16. Gone to a huge sports game 17. Walked the stairs to the top of the leaning Tower of Pisa 18. Grown and eaten your own vegetables 19. Touched an iceberg 20. Slept under the stars 21. Changed a baby’s diaper 22. Taken a trip in a hot air balloon 23. Watched a meteor shower 24. Gotten drunk on champagne 25. Given more than you can afford to charity 26. Looked up at the night sky through a telescope 27. Had an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst possible moment 28. Had a food fight 29. Bet on a winning horse 30. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill 31. Asked out a stranger 32. Had a snowball fight 33. Photocopied your bottom on the office photocopier 34. Screamed as loudly as you possibly can 35. Held a lamb 36. Enacted a favorite fantasy 37. Taken a midnight skinny dip 38. Taken an ice cold bath 39. Had a meaningful conversation with a beggar 40. Seen a total eclipse 41. Ridden a roller coaster 42. Hit a home run 43. Fit three weeks miraculously into three days 44. Danced like a fool and not cared who was looking 45. Adopted an accent for an entire day 46. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors 47. Actually felt happy about your life, even for just a moment 48. Had two hard drives for your computer 49. Visited all 50 states 50. Loved your job for all accounts 51. Taken care of someone who was shit faced 52. Had enough money to be truly satisfied 53. Had amazing friends 54. Danced with a stranger in a foreign country 55. Watched wild whales 56. Stolen a sign 57. Backpacked in Europe 58. Taken a road-trip 59. Rock climbing 60. Lied to foreign government’s official in that country to avoid notice 61. Midnight walk on the beach 62. Sky diving 63. Visited Ireland 64. Been heartbroken longer then you were actually in love 65. In a restaurant, sat at a stranger’s table and had a meal with them 66. Visited Japan 67. Benchpressed your own weight 68. Milked a cow 69. Alphabetized your records 70. Pretended to be a superhero 71. Sung karaoke 72. Lounged around in bed all day 73. Posed nude in front of strangers 74. Scuba diving 75. Got it on to “Let’s Get It On” by Marvin Gaye 76. Kissed in the rain 77. Played in the mud 78. Played in the rain 79. Gone to a drive-in theatre 80. Done something you should regret, but don’t regret it 81. Visited the Great Wall of China 82. Discovered that someone who’s not supposed to have known about your blog has discovered your blog 83. Dropped Windows in favor of something better 84. Started a business 85. Fallen in love and not had your heart broken 86. Toured ancient sites 87. Taken a martial arts class 88. Swordfought for the honor of a woman 89. Played D&D for more than 6 hours straight 90. Gotten married 91. Been in a movie 92. Crashed a party 93. Loved someone you shouldn’t have 94. Kissed someone so passionately it made them dizzy 95. Gotten divorced 96. Had sex at the office 97. Gone without food for 5 days 98. Made cookies from scratch 99. Won first prize in a costume contest 100. Ridden a gondola in Venice 101. Gotten a tattoo 102. Found that the texture of some materials can turn you on 103. Rafted the Snake River 104. Been on television news programs as an “expert” 105. Got flowers for no reason 106. Masturbated in a public place 107. Got so drunk you don’t remember anything 108. Been addicted to some form of illegal drug 109. Performed on stage 110. Been to Las Vegas 111. Recorded music 112. Eaten shark 113. Had a one-night stand 114. Gone to Thailand 115. Seen Siouxsie live 116. Bought a house 117. Been in a combat zone 118. Buried one/both of your parents 119. Shaved or waxed your pubic hair off 120. Been on a cruise ship 121. Spoken more than one language fluently 122. Gotten into a fight while attempting to defend someone 123. Bounced a cheque 124. Performed in Rocky Horror 125. Read – and understood – your credit report 126. Raised children 127. Recently bought and played with a favorite childhood toy 128. Followed your favorite band/singer on tour 129. Created and named your own constellation of stars 130. Taken an exotic bicycle tour in a foreign country 131. Found out something significant that your ancestors did 132. Called or written your Congress person 133. Picked up and moved to another city to just start over 134. …more than once? – More than thrice? 135. Walked the Golden Gate Bridge 136. Sang loudly in the car, and didn’t stop when you knew someone was looking 137. Had an abortion or your female partner did 138. Had plastic surgery 139. Survived an accident that you shouldn’t have survived. 140. Wrote articles for a large publication 141. Lost over 100 pounds 142. Held someone while they were having a flashback 143. Piloted an airplane 144. Petted a stingray 145. Broken someone’s heart 146. Helped an animal give birth 147. Been fired or laid off from a job 148. Won money on a T.V. game show 149. Broken a bone 150. Killed a human being 151. Gone on an African photo safari - does Disney count? 152. Ridden a motorcycle 153. Driven any land vehicle at a speed of greater than 100mph 154. Had a body part of yours below the neck pierced 155. Fired a rifle, shotgun, or pistol 156. Eaten mushrooms that were gathered in the wild 157. Ridden a horse 158. Had major surgery 159. Had sex on a moving train 160. Had a snake as a pet 161. Hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon 162. Slept through an entire flight: takeoff, flight, and landing 163. Slept for more than 30 hours over the course of 48 hours 164. Visited more foreign countries than U.S. states 165. Visited all 7 continents 166. Taken a canoe trip that lasted more than 2 days 167. Eaten kangaroo meat - pretty sure I will soon 168. Fallen in love at an ancient Mayan burial ground (wha?) 169. Been a sperm or egg donor 170. Eaten sushi 171. Had your picture in the newspaper 172. Had 2 (or more) healthy romantic relationships for over a year in your lifetime 173. Changed someone’s mind about something you care deeply about 174. Gotten someone fired for their actions 175. Gone back to school 176. Para-sailed 177. Changed your name 178. Petted a cockroach 179. Eaten fried green tomatoes 180. Read The Iliad 181. Selected one “important” author who you missed in school, and read 182. Dined in a restaurant and stolen silverware, plates, cups because your apartment needed them 183. …and gotten 86′ed from the restaurant because you did it so many times, they figured out it was you 184. Taught yourself an art from scratch 185. Killed and prepared an animal for eating 186. Apologized to someone years after inflicting the hurt 187. Skipped all your school reunions 188. Communicated with someone without sharing a common spoken language 189. Been elected to public office 190. Written your own computer language 191. Thought to yourself that you’re living your dream 192. Had to put someone you love into hospice care 193. Built your own PC from parts 194. Sold your own artwork to someone who didn’t know you 195. Had a booth at a street fair 196: Dyed your hair - highlights 197: Been a DJ 198: Found out someone was going to dump you via LiveJournal 199: Written your own role playing game 200: Been arrested

[fluffydragon85]

the things you have already done in bold, the things you would like to do in italics 01. Bought everyone in the pub a drink 02. Swam with wild dolphins 03. Climbed a mountain 04. Taken a Ferrari for a test drive 05. Been inside the Great Pyramid 06. Held a tarantula 07. Taken a candlelit bath with someone 08. Said ‘I love you’ and meant it 09. Hugged a tree 10. Done a striptease 11. Bungee jumped 12. Visited Paris 13. Watched a lightning storm at sea 14. Stayed up all night long, and watch the sun rise 15. Seen the Northern Lights 16. Gone to a huge sports game 17. Walked the stairs to the top of the leaning Tower of Pisa 18. Grown and eaten your own vegetables 19. Touched an iceberg 20. Slept under the stars 21. Changed a baby’s diaper 22. Taken a trip in a hot air balloon 23. Watched a meteor shower 24. Gotten drunk on champagne 25. Given more than you can afford to charity 26. Looked up at the night sky through a telescope 27. Had an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst possible moment 28. Had a food fight 29. Bet on a winning horse 30. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill 31. Asked out a stranger 32. Had a snowball fight 33. Photocopied your bottom on the office photocopier 34. Screamed as loudly as you possibly can 35. Held a lamb 36. Enacted a favorite fantasy 37. Taken a midnight skinny dip 38. Taken an ice cold bath 39. Had a meaningful conversation with a beggar 40. Seen a total eclipse 41. Ridden a roller coaster 42. Hit a home run 43. Fit three weeks miraculously into three days 44. Danced like a fool and not cared who was looking 45. Adopted an accent for an entire day 46. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors 47. Actually felt happy about your life, even for just a moment 48. Had two hard drives for your computer 49. Visited all 50 states 50. Loved your job for all accounts 51. Taken care of someone who was shit faced 52. Had enough money to be truly satisfied 53. Had amazing friends 54. Danced with a stranger in a foreign country 55. Watched wild whales 56. Stolen a sign 57. Backpacked in Europe 58. Taken a road-trip 59. Rock climbing 60. Lied to foreign government’s official in that country to avoid notice 61. Midnight walk on the beach 62. Sky diving 63. Visited Ireland 64. Been heartbroken longer than you were actually in love 65. In a restaurant, sat at a stranger’s table and had a meal with them  66. Visited Japan 67. Benchpressed your own weight 68. Milked a cow 69. Alphabetized your records 70. Pretended to be a superhero 71. Sung karaoke 72. Lounged around in bed all day 73. Posed nude in front of strangers 74. Scuba diving 75. Got it on to “Let’s Get It On” by Marvin Gaye 76. Kissed in the rain 77. Played in the mud 78. Played in the rain 79. Gone to a drive-in theater 80. Done something you should regret, but don’t regret it 81. Visited the Great Wall of China 82. Discovered that someone who’s not supposed to have known about your blog has discovered your blog 83. Dropped Windows in favor of something better  84. Started a business 85. Fallen in love and not had your heart broken 86. Toured ancient sites 87. Taken a martial arts class 88. Swordfought for the honor of a woman 89. Played D&D for more than 6 hours straight 90. Gotten married 91. Been in a movie 92. Crashed a party 93. Loved someone you shouldn’t have 94. Kissed someone so passionately it made them dizzy 95. Gotten divorced 96. Had sex at the office 97. Gone without food for 5 days 98. Made cookies from scratch 99. Won first prize in a costume contest 100. Ridden a gondola in Venice 101. Gotten a tattoo 102. Found that the texture of some materials can turn you on 103. Rafted the Snake River 104. Been on television news programs as an “expert” 105. Got flowers for no reason 106. Masturbated in a public place 107. Got so drunk you don’t remember anything 108. Been addicted to some form of illegal drug 109. Performed on stage  110. Been to Las Vegas 111. Recorded music 112. Eaten shark 113. Had a one-night stand 114. Gone to Thailand 115. Seen Siouxsie live 116. Bought a house 117. Been in a combat zone 118. Buried one/both of your parents 119. Shaved or waxed your pubic hair off 120. Been on a cruise ship 121. Spoken more than one language fluently 122. Gotten into a fight while attempting to defend someone 123. Bounced a check 124. Performed in Rocky Horror 125. Read – and understood – your credit report 126. Raised children 127. Recently bought and played with a favorite childhood toy 128. Followed your favorite band/singer on tour 129. Created and named your own constellation of stars 130. Taken an exotic bicycle tour in a foreign country 131. Found out something significant that your ancestors did 132. Called or written your Congress person 133. Picked up and moved to another city to just start over 134. …more than once? 135. Walked the Golden Gate Bridge 136. Sang loudly in the car, and didn’t stop when you knew someone was looking 137. Had an abortion or your female partner did 138. Had plastic surgery 139. Survived an accident that you shouldn’t have survived. 140. Wrote articles for a large publication 141. Lost over 100 pounds 142. Held someone while they were having a flashback 143. Piloted an airplane 144. Petted a stingray 145. Broken someone’s heart 146. Helped an animal give birth 147. Been fired or laid off from a job 148. Won money on a T.V. game show 149. Broken a bone 150. Killed a human being 151. Gone on an African photo safari 152. Ridden a motorcycle 153. Driven any land vehicle at a speed of greater than 100mph 154. Had a body part of yours below the neck pierced 155. Fired a rifle, shotgun, or pistol 156. Eaten mushrooms that were gathered in the wild 157. Ridden a horse 158. Had major surgery  159. Had sex on a moving train 160. Had a snake as a pet 161. Hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon 162. Slept through an entire flight: takeoff, flight, and landing 163. Slept for more than 30 hours over the course of 48 hours 164. Visited more foreign countries than U.S. states  165. Visited all 7 continents 166. Taken a canoe trip that lasted more than 2 days 167. Eaten kangaroo meat 168. Fallen in love at an ancient Mayan burial ground 169. Been a sperm or egg donor 170. Eaten sushi 171. Had your picture in the newspaper 172. Had 2 (or more) healthy romantic relationships for over a year in your lifetime 173. Changed someone’s mind about something you care deeply about 174. Gotten someone fired for their actions 175. Gone back to school 176. Parasailed 177. Changed your name 178. Petted a cockroach 179. Eaten fried green tomatoes 180. Read The Iliad 181. Selected one “important” author who you missed in school, and read 182. Dined in a restaurant and stolen silverware, plates, cups because your apartment needed them 183. …and gotten 86′ed from the restaurant because you did it so many times, they figured out it was you 184. Taught yourself an art from scratch 185. Killed and prepared an animal for eating 186. Apologized to someone years after inflicting the hurt 187. Skipped all your school reunions 188. Communicated with someone without sharing a common spoken language 189. Been elected to public office 190. Written your own computer language 191. Thought to yourself that you’re living your dream 192. Had to put someone you love into hospice care 193. Built your own PC from parts 194. Sold your own artwork to someone who didn’t know you 195. Had a booth at a street fair 196: Dyed your hair 197: Been a DJ 198: Found out someone was going to dump you via LiveJournal 199: Written your own role playing game 200: Been arrested

[bangkokjacknews]

Asian countries where the women want foreign husbands

Western males who are reasonably well off and in decent health, with either a good job or plenty of money in savings for retirement are considered a prize “catch” by many single women in poorer countries.

It does not really matter what you look like, only that you are readily able to care for a wife, perhaps also for her children from a previous marriage, certainly for her parents, and perhaps for some members of an extended family. You are the lucky prize as long as you can afford to be it. Middle-aged western guys who visit these countries find themselves getting much more attention than they normally receive in their home countries and will find beautiful younger women showing plenty of attraction towards them. The main reason for such attraction is the lure of having a better life with financial security. This is also where we need to introduce a serious word of caution. Most of the countries that are popular sex tourist destinations are also the places where white guys are most desired. Unfortunately, this means that if a guy is looking for more than just sex, he may run into the many scams that plague guys searching for a good woman to marry or looking for a long-term relationship. This article focuses more on finding a long-term relationship and/or marriage, instead of just the sex trade, although the two somewhat go together if you are a middle age white male looking for the female company of a beautiful younger woman. If you plan to look for a life-partner, it is best to get away from the popular tourist areas, live for awhile in the country where you find attractive candidates, and get to know the local customs as well as some of the language. It is a mistake to go to a foreign country with the expectation of returning with the perfect soul mate in one week, even if you have months of email correspondence and video chats prior to coming to the country. Scammers know very well how to play on men’s emotions and teach the women that they represent the evil ways of luring men in so that the men spend lots of money using “translation” services and then pay a fee for an arranged visit to find a bride. Many men have spent a fortune using Internet-based marriage systems or websites and even have gone to visit the countries, only to return home alone, broke, and deeply hurt emotionally. Do yourself a favor and do not fall for the scams. It is easy to find plenty of potential life partners without using such online scam services. However, you must plan to go visit the countries you fancy and stay there for an extended period to meet a nice woman in person. It is so easy to meet people. To avoid bar girls and street prostitutes, meet the community elders, volunteer to help on community projects, and attend events in the community, at Buddhist temples, and churches. These are good places to socialize and to find a good wife. If you find someone attractive, first ask if they are married. If they are not married, just ask them to show you around the local area. You will have a better time if you go to the areas where there are fewer tourists and there you will get lots of nice attention from the local women. If you do plan to get married, it is a better idea to live in the country for a few years with your new wife rather than try to bring her back to your home country right away. The culture shock and homesickness is too much for many who get married and soon thereafter relocate. Make trial visits together and go back and forth instead, between her country and your home country, for the best results. Here are the fifteen countries where middle-aged white guys are very desirable and good bets to find a wife. THAILAND Besides being the number one sex tourist destination in the world, Thailand is a great place to find a lovely wife. The Thai people have a very laid back attitude about sex. Older men are considered highly desirable by the younger women. A muscle-bound young guy will have less success with the Thai younger women than a middle-aged white guy with a big belly. They will think your beer belly is cute because you look more like the Buddha. Thailand is almost exclusively a Buddhist country and that makes their general attitudes about life compassionate and tolerant of others. There are three official genders recognized by the Thai constitution, which includes male, female, and transgender. Thailand has the famous “ladyboys” who look more beautiful that biologically born girls, so when visiting Thailand be aware that a pretty girl who catches your eye might have once been a boy. Agencies such as Absolute Angels in Bangkok cater for all types of relationships from the holiday fling to the long-term commitment All white guys get lots of attention from women in Thailand. In fact, you can hardly escape it if you walk through the red light district of Patpong in Bangkok or stroll around Phuket Beach. In Thailand, it is easy for you to be mobbed by gorgeous young women wanting to fulfill your wildest fantasies. Maybe you will want to do your version of the movie Pretty Woman and take one of the cute ones away from the life of prostitution to take care of her. If you have enough money she will readily go along. If that is not your cup of tea, then go up to Chang Mai and get away from the city life to find a beautiful Thai woman living in the countryside. If you see a woman that you like, simply say hello. That is all it takes to get a relationship started. Take it easy and have fun. Take some time getting to know her, before asking a Thai woman to be your wife. To marry a decent Thai village woman you will have to pay a dowry to her parents of a few thousand U.S. dollars at a minimum. This is customary and expected. Many expats live in Thailand because the living is so easy there when the guy has a beautiful Thai wife to keep him very happy. CAMBODIA Cambodia went through nine hells under the Pol Pot regime during the Khmer Rouge. During this time, millions were killed. This genocide sent the country back to the dark ages in terms of development. Because of this devastation, it is still is one of the poorest countries in Asia. Cambodia is rebuilding itself. Cambodian women are genuinely interested in foreigners, especially white males because of the chance to have a better life with them as husbands. Prostitution is common in Cambodia, especially in the capital of Phnom Penh. Cambodia also has a serious problem with pedophilia and human trafficking, which includes the sale of children. The age of consent for consensual, non-paid sex in private is 16-years-old. It is common for a Cambodian woman to marry a foreign man that is around twenty years older than they are. If you met a woman you find attractive first ask if she is married. Learn the phrase in Khmer, the Cambodian language, which is “tae anak riebkear haey ry now.” Then learn how and when to say “I love you” in Khmer, which is “khnhom sralanh anak.” Do not say this phrase casually. It has a deep, serious meaning in Cambodia and is the equivalent of the western marriage proposal when you say this phrase. A “good” Cambodian woman will only be with a man and live with him if he marries her. In order to slow down the marriages by western men of “child” brides, there are now requirements in Cambodia that a foreign man must follow, to legally marry a Cambodian woman in that country. He must be under 50 years old and have proof of monthly income exceeding US$2,500 per month. Here are the rules for U.S. Citizens. If you are older than this, you can either have a “fake” wedding, which has no legal status, but is acceptable by the people or take your bride to another country such as Thailand, if she agrees, and marry her there. If you plan to get married in Cambodia, which is very important for your bride, expect to pay for the traditional wedding ceremony and you will be requested to pay a “dowry” to the family as well as make a payment to the local village elders. The amount can range from about US$1,000 for a village woman from a poor family up to US$20,000 for a refined, educated, young woman who speaks English well and comes from a wealthy family. This is considered a respectful way to pay back the family for raising your bride and to give back something to the community. You do not own your wife and this gift payment is not to buy her. You need to treat her with respect and kindness in order to have a happy marriage. You also need to make sure to send a monthly stipend of money to her family (usually US$100 to US$300 per month). If you treat your new wife well, she will be very dedicated to you as this is the traditional way in Cambodia. VIETNAM Vietnam is making a strong comeback from the devastation it experienced during the Vietnam War. In the capital of Saigon, it is very much like Bangkok, Thailand. There is lots of prostitution. Just like in Cambodia, human trafficking is a huge problem. Chinese men from remote areas pay up to US$3,200 to intermediaries to literally buy a bride and even a “child” bride around 14 years old and have her shipped to the man living in China. The woman or young girl is forced into marriage without ever meeting her husband in person except on the day they get married. Asia has a history of arranged marriages and Vietnam is no exception. Vietnamese women, especially the poorest ones, go along with an arranged marriage if they think it will improve their lives. If they go along with the marriage voluntarily, the may actually see an improvement their lives and not have to work so hard just to survive. However, some others who live near the border of Vietnam and China are drugged and kidnapped and then sold as brides against their will. It takes years for them to escape and some never do. One other problem for white males is that some Vietnamese women have figured out how to use the divorce laws in other countries to their advantage. If a Vietnamese woman marries a foreigner in another country and the marriage is not registered in Vietnam, it has no legal effect in Vietnam. If a foreign man pays a big price to get a Vietnamese bride and takes her to another country to get married, she can, after a short time, run back to Vietnam where the marriage has no meaning. She can repeat the process with a man from a different country. Now that you are warned about the dangers, avoid the online marriage services as they are almost all scams. The best bet to find a nice young woman to marry is to visit the country for an extended period. Get out of the city and visit the villages with a translator you trust. Go to a university and hire a student as your translator. Make sure the student is not associated with any marriage arranging service. Be aware that to have a Vietnamese bride, the arrangement is made with her parents who will expect to be paid something. It is also better to have the marriage in Vietnam and you will pay for this also. Vietnamese women are very beautiful, dedicated, and loyal if you treat them kindly, so it is possible to find a very nice Vietnamese wife if you avoid the scams. INDONESIA You will have a very pleasant time if you go to Bali to look for a wife. Bali, Indonesia is one of the nicest places in the world and the cost of living there is really low, which allows staying long enough to find an honest Indonesian woman who you want to marry. Guys from Australia frequently go to Bali to find a wife and many are successful in doing so and very happy. The Indonesia culture is patriarchal and men are elevated in status over women. There is a marriage procreation guarantee under the Indonesian laws. If a wife cannot birth children he is allowed to easily divorce her or to take a second wife. The Balinese want their daughters to get married as soon as possible in order to start a family and hopefully to have a son to carry on the family heritage. The Indonesian people are very accepting of large age differences between the bride and her husband as long as his financial condition is sound and he is able to take care of his bride. Unlike a son, a daughter, when she gets married, no longer has the requirement to support her family. She joins the new family of her husband. This is a different sentiment that those found in other Asian countries where the daughter is still obligated to help care for her parents even if she gets married. The Indonesian people are warm-hearted, friendly, and as a general rule, they like foreigners. To have the best luck in finding a good wife, look for a family that has many daughters and few or no sons. Befriend the parents of the young woman in such a family and they will probably be very happy for you to marry her to have one less daughter that they are responsible for. Indonesia has a strange rule that two people getting married should be of the same religion. If you are not the same religion as your bride, one of you needs to convert to the other’s religion, at least temporarily. Atheists and agnostics need to pretend to be affiliated with their bride’s religion; otherwise, the government will not issue marriage documents. TAIWAN Many western men, who visit Taiwan for the first time traveling alone, are shocked (hopefully pleasantly so) when beautiful girls knock on the hotel door in the evenings to officially offer their services as a government-licensed massage therapist and prostitute. They even have identification cards, which they happily show to prove this to foreigners. Taiwan is another male-dominated society and women are, in general, very subservient to men. It is considered perfectly normal under the Taiwanese culture for married men to enjoy prostitutes as long as they take good financial care of their wives and provide enough money for their children. Men typically go out at night with their other male friends for “business” dinners where the company pays the tab. They enjoy a night of getting drunk and carousing with women and return home with no recrimination from their wives for being out late or coming home drunk. This subservient nature is not 100% uniform and there are some more modern style Taiwanese women. However, for the most part, the male dominance in this culture is what attracts foreign men to come to Taiwan to look for a bride. If you are not stuck on having only a young woman as a bride and expand your search to include older women, you will find many nice women who are interested in having a foreign man as a husband. You can enjoy dating many of them to help make a good choice. CHINA China is a country of many contradictions. There is an average of 118 men for every 100 women. This came about because of the “one-child” policy that was enforced by the Chinese government. One very unfortunate and horrible thing about this policy is that it caused parents to kill their female offspring; either as abortions or right after the girl babies were born. Estimates are that up to five million Chinese baby girls were killed during the time that the one-child policy was enforced. This off-balance ratio of more Chinese men than women makes it difficult for the Chinese men to all find brides. In spite of this, foreign men still have a tremendous advantage. Chinese women see foreign men as a treasure and also appreciate their generous endowment in the private area compared to the size of an average Chinese male. Foreign men will be approached by many young women if they simply visit China. It may be difficult to get married, once you realize how many beautiful women are available for foreign men. Even five-star hotels sometimes contain a brothel on the premises as part of the services offered to male guests. This is something that shocks foreign males who never before saw such openness about the sex trade. Nevertheless, it is very easy to get used to this and “feel like a king.” These excellent, readily available sex services from beautiful young women make it more difficult to choose a certain woman to settle down with and marry. However, if you are able to find a Chinese wife of the traditional style, she will not have any problem with your continuing to visit prostitutes for a boy’s night out on the town, even after you are married. JAPAN Over 89% of the marriage visas for those entering the United States from Japan are issued to females. Japanese women like to marry Americans and Americans love Japanese women. They make a terrific wife and they rarely get fat as they get older. They also have a very cute youthful appearance that lasts until middle age. To most Western men’s eyes, a Japanese woman looks ten to twenty years younger than her actual age. She may be 35 and look 18. The population in Japan is getting older and the younger Japanese men are choosing not to get married because they cannot afford to take care of a wife and family. White guys from other countries who marry a Japanese woman can find a very pleasant lifestyle living in Japan. Japanese women are very sophisticated about international things and easily adapt to living in another country. They are, in general, very intelligent. Many speak English extremely well. If a Japanese woman marries a foreigner there is still a bit of prejudice against this from the older Japanese people, so it may be easier for her to live with you in your home country to avoid this noticeable bigotry she will experience in Japan. A woman from an elite, wealthy Japanese family would bring shame to her family if she married a foreigner, so look for a working class woman as your best option when dating with the intent to find a Japanese wife. If you want a beautiful “porcelain-like doll” for a wife, a Japanese woman is a perfect answer. She will be fiercely loyal and at the same time allow you plenty of freedom to do as you want as long as there is enough money for a nice house and to take care of the kids. Lots of G.I. men who were stationed in Okinawa (an island near Tokyo) on the U.S. military base there found wonderful wives when marrying a Japanese woman. PHILIPPINES The Philippines, like Thailand, is a major sex tourist destination. A female prostitute costs only about US$20 for the entire night. There are many clubs in Manila where you can visit, have a drink, and see a bevy of beautiful girls, all with numbers on their lapel. You simply tell the bartender which number girl you like, pay the exit fee for her to go with you and take as many with you as you want. Read the full article

[surveysonfleek]

137.

Have You Ever / Do You Want To.... The things you have already done - bold, the things you would like to do - in italics, the rest well just leave.

01. Bought everyone in the pub a drink 02. Swam with wild dolphins 03. Climbed a mountain 04. Taken a Ferrari for a test drive 05. Been inside the Great Pyramid 06. Held a tarantula 07. Taken a candlelit bath with someone 08. Said ‘I love you’ and meant it 09. Hugged a tree 10. Done a striptease 11. Bungee jumped 12. Visited Paris 13. Watched a lightning storm at sea 14. Stayed up all night long, and watch the sun rise 15. Seen the Northern Lights

16. Gone to a huge sports game 17. Walked the stairs to the top of the leaning Tower of Pisa 18. Grown and eaten your own vegetables 19. Touched an iceberg 20. Slept under the stars 21. Changed a baby’s diaper 22. Taken a trip in a hot air balloon 23. Watched a meteor shower 24. Gotten drunk on champagne 25. Given more than you can afford to charity 26. Looked up at the night sky through a telescope 27. Had an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst possible moment 28. Had a food fight 29. Bet on a winning horse 30. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill 31. Asked out a stranger 32. Had a snowball fight 33. Photocopied your bottom on the office photocopier 34. Screamed as loudly as you possibly can 35. Held a lamb 36. Enacted a favorite fantasy 37. Taken a midnight skinny dip 38. Taken an ice cold bath 39. Had a meaningful conversation with a beggar 40. Seen a total eclipse 41. Ridden a roller coaster 42. Hit a home run 43. Fit three weeks miraculously into three days 44. Danced like a fool and not cared who was looking 45. Adopted an accent for an entire day 46. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors 47. Actually felt happy about your life, even for just a moment 48. Had two hard drives for your computer 49. Visited all 50 states 50. Loved your job for all accounts 51. Taken care of someone who was shit faced 52. Had enough money to be truly satisfied 53. Had amazing friends 54. Danced with a stranger in a foreign country 55. Watched wild whales 56. Stolen a sign 57. Backpacked in Europe 58. Taken a road-trip 59. Rock climbing 60. Lied to foreign government’s official in that country to avoid notice 61. Midnight walk on the beach 62. Sky diving 63. Visited Ireland 64. Been heartbroken longer then you were actually in love 65. In a restaurant, sat at a stranger’s table and had a meal with them 66. Visited Japan 67. Benchpressed your own weight 68. Milked a cow 69. Alphabetized your records 70. Pretended to be a superhero 71. Sung karaoke 72. Lounged around in bed all day 73. Posed nude in front of strangers 74. Scuba diving 75. Got it on to “Let’s Get It On” by Marvin Gaye 76. Kissed in the rain 77. Played in the mud 78. Played in the rain 79. Gone to a drive-in theatre 80. Done something you should regret, but don’t regret it 81. Visited the Great Wall of China 82. Discovered that someone who’s not supposed to have known about your blog has discovered your blog 83. Dropped Windows in favor of something better 84. Started a business 85. Fallen in love and not had your heart broken 86. Toured ancient sites 87. Taken a martial arts class 88. Swordfought for the honor of a woman 89. Played D&D for more than 6 hours straight 90. Gotten married 91. Been in a movie 92. Crashed a party 93. Loved someone you shouldn’t have 94. Kissed someone so passionately it made them dizzy 95. Gotten divorced 96. Had sex at the office 97. Gone without food for 5 days 98. Made cookies from scratch 99. Won first prize in a costume contest 100. Ridden a gondola in Venice 101. Gotten a tattoo 102. Found that the texture of some materials can turn you on 103. Rafted the Snake River 104. Been on television news programs as an “expert” 105. Got flowers for no reason 106. Masturbated in a public place 107. Got so drunk you don’t remember anything 108. Been addicted to some form of illegal drug 109. Performed on stage 110. Been to Las Vegas 111. Recorded music 112. Eaten shark 113. Had a one-night stand 114. Gone to Thailand 115. Seen Siouxsie live 116. Bought a house 117. Been in a combat zone 118. Buried one/both of your parents 119. Shaved or waxed your pubic hair off 120. Been on a cruise ship 121. Spoken more than one language fluently 122. Gotten into a fight while attempting to defend someone 123. Bounced a cheque 124. Performed in Rocky Horror 125. Read – and understood – your credit report 126. Raised children 127. Recently bought and played with a favorite childhood toy 128. Followed your favorite band/singer on tour 129. Created and named your own constellation of stars 130. Taken an exotic bicycle tour in a foreign country 131. Found out something significant that your ancestors did 132. Called or written your Congress person 133. Picked up and moved to another city to just start over 134. …more than once? – More than thrice? 135. Walked the Golden Gate Bridge 136. Sang loudly in the car, and didn’t stop when you knew someone was looking 137. Had an abortion or your female partner did 138. Had plastic surgery 139. Survived an accident that you shouldn’t have survived. 140. Wrote articles for a large publication 141. Lost over 100 pounds 142. Held someone while they were having a flashback 143. Piloted an airplane 144. Petted a stingray 145. Broken someone’s heart 146. Helped an animal give birth 147. Been fired or laid off from a job 148. Won money on a T.V. game show 149. Broken a bone 150. Killed a human being 151. Gone on an African photo safari 152. Ridden a motorcycle 153. Driven any land vehicle at a speed of greater than 100mph 154. Had a body part of yours below the neck pierced 155. Fired a rifle, shotgun, or pistol 156. Eaten mushrooms that were gathered in the wild 157. Ridden a horse 158. Had major surgery 159. Had sex on a moving train 160. Had a snake as a pet 161. Hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon 162. Slept through an entire flight: takeoff, flight, and landing 163. Slept for more than 30 hours over the course of 48 hours 164. Visited more foreign countries than U.S. states 165. Visited all 7 continents 166. Taken a canoe trip that lasted more than 2 days 167. Eaten kangaroo meat 168. Fallen in love at an ancient Mayan burial ground 169. Been a sperm or egg donor 170. Eaten sushi 171. Had your picture in the newspaper 172. Had 2 (or more) healthy romantic relationships for over a year in your lifetime 173. Changed someone’s mind about something you care deeply about 174. Gotten someone fired for their actions 175. Gone back to school 176. Para-sailed 177. Changed your name 178. Petted a cockroach 179. Eaten fried green tomatoes 180. Read The Iliad 181. Selected one “important” author who you missed in school, and read 182. Dined in a restaurant and stolen silverware, plates, cups because your apartment needed them 183. …and gotten 86′ed from the restaurant because you did it so many times, they figured out it was you 184. Taught yourself an art from scratch 185. Killed and prepared an animal for eating 186. Apologized to someone years after inflicting the hurt 187. Skipped all your school reunions 188. Communicated with someone without sharing a common spoken language 189. Been elected to public office 190. Written your own computer language 191. Thought to yourself that you’re living your dream 192. Had to put someone you love into hospice care 193. Built your own PC from parts 194. Sold your own artwork to someone who didn’t know you 195. Had a booth at a street fair 196: Dyed your hair 197: Been a DJ 198: Found out someone was going to dump you via LiveJournal 199: Written your own role playing game 200: Been arrested

[rilenerocks]

When Michael and I were expecting our first baby, we spent lots of time talking about the type of parents we wanted to be, along with the kind of atmosphere we hoped to create in our home.  I think that’s what most people do. Michael in particular wanted to build a space where our children felt totally accepted for who they were, where their friends were always welcome, a home that was a truly secure haven. So what was one of the first things we did when we brought our little girl home from the hospital? We put her little downstairs daytime bed right underneath the stereo in the orange room which was our combination music room and library. After ten years of rocking out at mega-decibels, we wanted to make sure she could get used to sleeping with the volume turned up. The photo above shows her lying there, angelically asleep, with Michael smiling as one of our dogs gazed at this novel little creature. I’m there, too, my top half missing from the shot. I’m sure the whole room was vibrating.

Our plan worked. We created a little rocker who fit right in with us. Her early musical tastes were focused on a lot of one-hit wonder tunes, like Mickey and Come On, Eileen. Michael, who through his record store had access to all kinds of music, started making House Favorites tapes and then, CD’s, first for all of us, and then eventually, just for our little girl.

In early 1983, a pop song named Whirly Girl by the group OXO was released and climbed into the top 30 records on the Billboard Charts. Our baby was crazy about it so we played it all the time. The other day as I was working out in the yard, it popped up on a random shuffle in my headphones. Initially, I was swamped with memories from that time but ultimately I focused on the song title because that’s how my mind feels right now – whirly.

There’s a certain amount of time I spend every day thinking about either the masks war, in which people absolutely refuse to wear a mask because doing so stomps on their individual freedom, or the fact that so many who do comply, wear them incorrectly. When I venture out into the world, invariably I run into either one or both of those types. I absolutely do not get any of this. Absent the financial means to afford one, I don’t understand how anyone who is a member of a community greater than one, treasures this freedom of theirs as more valuable than public health. I wonder how they’d have felt if they had to sew yellow stars on their clothes so they could be easily identified by their religion. I get pretty roily inside when I think about how small and selfish their minds must be. Especially when they wrap up their righteous rage in the flag or the Constitution. Grrr. Then there are these folks who are actually wearing the masks absolutely incorrectly. Their noses aren’t covered, the mask is below their chins or hanging off one ear. I find this particularly maddening when I go to pick up food from an institution with a big sign touting all the healthful protocols their business is taking to protect everyone’s health. Do these owners check on their employees? I mean, is slipping two loops over your ears as complex as solving a Rubik’s cube? Rocket science? Should I gently point out their mistakes? Or just continue to fume away about the level of stupid and selfish I see around me? I guess the pandemic is turning me into an intolerant, crotchety old lady. Or maybe that’s who I’ve always been without the old part. Of course, there is the daily dose of Trumpian dystopia which relentlessly  escalates, despite the feeling that each awful revelation from the day before is the zenith of his horrors. The bigotry and racism seemed hard to top, along with the denial of the Covid19 crisis,  but now we find ourselves in the midst of a new madness, which essentially put the lives of American troops into a dark marketplace of murder and headhunting for bounties. Do I feel incredulous? Sadly, no. Truly, this person seems utterly devoid of any interior moral foundation. He is the definition of self. I don’t know whether his simple fascination with tyrannical leaders is just wishful dreaming, or whether Putin really does have the ultimate blackmail item in his back pocket which he can pull out at any time. Right now I’m glad that the EU has banned travel from the US into their countries. Given everything, that action seems fitting.  My mind indeed is a whirly place.

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In the midst of the outside big world jumble, I managed to complicate my life a little further. Back in 2012, when Michael got diagnosed with his cancer, we refinanced our house. We were looking to pay off outstanding bills, get extra cash for out-of-pocket treatment costs and enough money to take some trips. When you get a diagnosis with an almost certain prognosis of death, you try to stuff in as many life experiences as you can, especially the ones you thought would be part of a retirement that would stretch out for years, given the longevity in Michael’s family. The best-laid plans, right? During the five years that Michael survived, we took advantage of that strategy. After he died in May, 2017, I wasn’t in the mental space to give much thought to mortgages and the like. I was in survival mode. During the last three years, I’ve done my own traveling while trying to adjust to my highly undesired new life. But during this time of isolation, I have swung back around to the business of my big old house. I’ve done a lot of physical fixing. Noting that interest rates for mortgages  had dropped well below what we’d gotten 8 years ago, I decided to refinance, shortening the term and saving lots of money. Sounded like a good plan – everything was moving along nicely when I suddenly realized that an appraisal was required. After the sordid housing crisis of 2008, the lenders have tightened up the requirements from appraisers. They now take photos of every room in your house, all the mechanical items and even the basement and garage. Uh-oh. I’ve made a few sporadic efforts at cleaning the garage, Michael’s domain, which is full of intriguing stuff. The only time I go into the basement is when it’s time to change the furnace filter. It’s actually a dark, creepy cellar with awful stairs which is accessible only from the outside. Years ago, one of my son’s friends was making a horror film. He asked if he could shoot part of it in our basement as it was one of the scariest places in town.

What a nightmare. I spent hours down there, sweeping, sorting, finding a few treasures and mostly ancient junk like carburetor parts and old lawnmower engines. The garage wasn’t much better. This business-y idea turned out to be grindingly hard labor. I stashed aside some potentially salvageable 45’s and albums that were somehow overlooked when we divested ourselves of Michael’s collection. Most of everything else went into the garbage. The appraiser came and went. She said things were fine. If only she’d seen it all before my massive efforts. Ah, well. All that’s left is my exhaustion and a who-do-I-think-I’m-kidding-at-my-age hangover that’s making it hard to get up from my chair.

Whirling back to the outside, life in the yard is good. I have nesting house wrens, cardinals and robins. They’re making good use of my birdbaths and cubbies for raising their hatchlings. The monarchs have found the milkweed. I could do without the big influx of rabbits along with the omnipresent squirrels who’ve eaten too many plants, denuded blossoms getting ready to open, and vandalized vegetables for no good reason that I can discern. I’ve engaged them in a race for the black raspberries, though and have chalked up a minor victory.

The flowers of course are magnificent and bring me great joy. The labor involved in urging them out of the ground is worth it. Just looking at them helps ratchet down the constant whirling thoughts that flit from subject to subject in my clicking head. Today, I put my coping skills to good use by enhancing my personal relaxation space with an outdoor mini-spa for myself. I don’t see getting back in the water any time soon. This will do for the present. As the saying goes, “adapt or die.”

As I mull over this life, so different from what I ever thought possible, I did have one recent experience that was delightful and satisfying. One of the hardest issues I’ve faced since Michael died was the collective responses that people have had to me and my feelings about my future. I’ve always known that I would never want to have another partner. That attitude was met with different reactions. Some people thought my grief was too fresh for me to know what I’d want. They’d say, give it some time to go through the stages following a big loss. Then we’ll see if you change your mind. If I talked about the challenges of being alone, they’d say, but you have your children and grandchildren. And that means what? They have their own lives. We intersect, as always. But it’s not the same as climbing in bed every night with your best friend and lover. As the months have passed, I’ve concluded that there’s just a lot of discomfort in these kinds of discussions. Unless you’ve lived the same life as someone else, you just don’t know what will work for them. And everyone’s relationship with their partners is different. I believe mine was an aspirational love that was rare. I had it for 45 years. I’m still in it. I feel my relationship every day, deep in the core of me. I don’t believe I could ever have that again and anything less is irrelevant. I have a number of people, most importantly my kids, who get this.Often, I draw a blank stare. But I had a great thing happen with one of my oldest friends, someone that both Michael and I’ve known for over 50 years.  Our lives have been closely connected all that time.

Glenn and Michael met at college in 1967 and lived in the same fraternity house, although Michael moved out after a year. I met Glenn when I came to college in 1968, through a high school friend of mine. I didn’t meet Michael until 1971, but he and I both always knew Glenn. We all socialized, but initially, with different groups of people who ultimately became blended. Glenn and I had a date once – the most memorable part of that for us both was really enjoying the album we were listening to – Tea for the Tillerman. When I was arrested in 1971 at an anti-war demonstration, Glenn bailed me out of jail. All three of us worked at the record store which ultimately became Michael’s career for the 27 years before he became a history teacher. When Michael and I became a couple in 1972, Glenn would visit us on a regular basis to enjoy the verbal sparring and bickering we engaged in, very different from his non-confrontational style. Glenn told me he was afraid that I’d overpower sweet Michael with my combat-boot personal style, but that  never happened. We were with him through a series of his relationships up to and including his marriage which has now lasted decades. We shared life events together, from having kids to losing family members. He and Michael went on white-water rafting and canoe trips. We played Hearts and Spades together on a regular basis and wound up going to a lake in Michigan every summer for years with a group of old friends for family camp. Glenn worked for the city for which Michael was an alderman and later, head of the city’s planning commission. They were both involved with the local food bank. When we had our daughter, Glenn gave her more gifts for her first birthday than we did. Twenty-five years later, he became a certified wedding officiant and performed her wedding ceremony. When Michael was withdrawn into the last stage of his life, he saw Glenn once, the only person who got into our house besides medical professionals and our family.

Last week, I went to see Glenn and his wife Colleen for an outdoor social distanced visit, the first time I’d seen them in many months. We had a lot to catch up on, what we’d all been doing, what was happening with our kids, how we felt about the current state of the world. Glenn asked me how I was managing, going through this weird time on my own. I told him that I never really felt alone, as Michael’s presence is just here, all the time. In the most normal, conversational tone, he said, “you know, it feels like your relationship with Michael right now is a lot better than it was right after he died.” I was startled, delighted and I laughed a lot. I’ve been laughing about it periodically. I told him that I was so utterly drained and devastated after Michael’s death that it had taken me awhile to recover from the expensive emotional price wrested from me by those challenging years. Now I’ve had a lot of recovery time and the way I feel with Michael is like the majority of our life together, wonderful,  rather than those painful, stressful times. So, yeah, we’re good. Still arguing in some of my dreams, though. I was really delighted that for the first time, someone acted normal and accepting of me rather than awkward or judgmental. That meant a lot. I’ve covered a lot of mental turf in this post. As I said, these days, I’m a whirly woman. Actually that might always have been true – it’s just that these days, everything feels exaggerated. On to the next set of thoughts.

Whirly Woman When Michael and I were expecting our first baby, we spent lots of time talking about the type of parents we wanted to be, along with the kind of atmosphere we hoped to create in our home.