#TO HEARING HIM SCREAM AND LAUGH

[izzystizzys]

Half the jobs Fox is sent on are not within his jurisdiction. This certainly isn’t.

Planetary protection unit, they said. Military police. Orbital security force.

And now Fox is being pointed at Count Dooku on some backwater planet and told to fetch. How the mighty have fallen.

He’s pretty sure Kenobi, Skywalker and their units could’ve karked this all up perfectly fine on their lonesome; they don’t need three Guardsmen there to watch them do it. But the Chancellor says jump and Fox surpressed the urge to bash his head in with a durasteel chair. So it goes.

Which is when things start going terribly, terribly wrong, of course.

“Is that Spinder?!”, Skywalker exclaims, arms wheeling out in the air wildly to try and catch his balance. “The Count fucks?!”

Across the room, Cody rips his helmet off, several shades redder than a baseline human should be. “The Count fucks my brother?!”

Two lightsticks hover uselessly in the air, Skywalker’s zig-zagging in a relentless hum with his gesturing. Fox stands stock-still, in the hope that maybe he’ll spontaneously turn invisible if he does. Around them, 501st and 212th troopers gape through helmets. Behind him, Nuisance gasps for air amidst screaming laughter.

Ping, went Fox’s comm unit, in that unmistakeable lascivious jingle sound. Ping, answered Count Dooku’s within a split second. Match found close by.

For a moment, Fox considers what it would be like to run at the Count’s lightsaber at full speed.

…not like that.

“Count”, Kenobi says, with a face like he’s bitten into a rotten fruit. Not that Fox knows what fruit tastes like. “This is a highly… unexpected development.” He fwoosh-es his lightsaber shut, obviously having given up on fighting. “I’d call it a conflict of interest, but I’m not sure that applies?”

“Oh, it’s gonna be a conflict of something, for sure”, Cody hisses, fists clenched at his sides. He looks about ready to boil over, with Crys and Waxer inching closer in preparation. “What have you done to my brother, you monster?!”

“I don’t think you want to know that, Commander”, Nuisance gasps out between barks of laughter, proving why he’s eternally Fox’s least favourite. Cody’s splotchy red complexion slowly fades into ghostly white as a sheen of horror settles over the room. “Thanks for the fancy chocolate bouquet last week, Count!”

Dooku, who has been thus far staring at the floor with an empty thousand-klick stare, looks up at that. Fox has seldom seen a man that defeated outside of the mirror, he has to admit - but shudders when he remembers exactly what the chocolates were for.

Oh Force, he’s sexted Count Dooku into buying him gifts. Does that make him a Seppie spy? Traitor by proxy?

“I feel”, says the Count, gravely, still holding his long red laserknife in a white-knuckled death-grip, “that I have been taken for a fool.”

“Uh”, says Fox, nervously. All eyes snap to him. Oh Force, oh Force, oh Force. They’re going to invent a whole new kind of decommissioning for this and name it after Fox.

“Is it really scamming if you actually get what you pay for?”, asks Grids, considering. Fox slowly pulls off his helmet just for the comforting feeling of burying his head in his gloved palms. The sounds of a struggle ensue, and Kenobi makes a choked-off noise. Maybe if he’s embarrassed enough he’ll give himself an aneurysm.

“Grandmaster, why are you paying people for naked pictures of themselves on the holonet?!” Kenobi asks, despairingly. “Aren’t you a little old for that?”

“Oi, no one said I was naked!”, Fox exclaims, head whipping up.

“So naked”, Nuisance laughs, palm thumping against the floor. He might be crying.

“I’m not decrepit”, the Count blusters, and Skywalker makes a gagging noise. “I have - there are needs, and they are perfectly natural!” It takes three troopers to restrain Cody from launching himself at the Count.

[corrodedcoughin]

Eddie making Steve laugh to the point of Steve revealing that he’s actually a snort laugher and Eddie lighting up like all his christmases have come at once

[dovedewdrop]

🎀💗💌🌷He’s so girlypop🌷💌💗🎀

[bruciemilf]

I think I'm gonna die soon if I don't talk abt Martha and her brothers

[rosykims]

some people confuse a reckoning with an ending.......

so you seek reform ???

i seek.......... regeneration

[showrunnerihardlyknowher]

when you hated every minute trudging through the writing of a fic and it becomes one of your most popular works

[dogsrot]

thinking about how scary it is when fenrir goes mute before he just starts to laugh . .

[carpthecarp]

Arkham Knight has the worst most fucked up version of Jason Todd’s story

[istherewifiinhell]

v character that COULD and kinda DID exist to counter the. just insane coppy ness in that show but also hes. just a pest. to woman. yay. also yes he has a kanata and his alt mode has kanji on it. i dont know why the [gesturing at how to say tacti-cool when its specifically got the. japanese orientalism bend] was so big in that show.

[jcams88]

I just KNOW Ronen is laughing at us right now. He's absolutely cackling like the little shit that he is as we all have a collective meltdown...

[tbyfandoms]

We love lumberjack!austin !!!! 🪓🪵

[chiistarri]

imsoo normal about guys byw

[breserker]

MY BROTHER GOT TO THE FIRST ECLIPSE

[bugmin]

customer came up to me today asking for a takeout container and because i happened to be in a great mood i was quite jovial abt the whole exchange and this crusty fossilized senile motherfucker deadass goes "you know what my father would have said about you? i want to take you home with me"

[dirt-str1der]

yk every time i see a post about somebody wishing bad things on another person i think ‘dirt-strider to kiryu’ you’ve broken me brain

You see a post thats like i want to stick him in time prison so that he gets so bored he starts breaking his own bones to get even a hint of stimulation and its tagged me at kiryu and you scroll down and its a post thats like i want to feed him chips from my cupped hands like a wild stallion and its also tagged me at kiryu also hiiiiiiiii

[lecliss]

Oh wow I had no idea the website I'm using actually color codes which episodes are filler or not. Looks like I don't need to find that article then.