#TMNT sexuality/gender discussions

[afreakingdork]

You Are My Sunshine, My Only Moonshine - Chapter 8

RotTMNT x Reader

What's with that call, Ump!? Leo's a bit of a pitch point in this week's chapter art by funneylizzie

Rated: Teen and Up Audiences

Relationships: Michelangelo (TMNT)/Reader, Michelangelo (TMNT)/You, Donatello (TMNT)/Reader, Donatello (TMNT)/You

Warnings: POV Second Person, Gender Neutral Reader, Anxious Reader, Introverted Reader, Stuttering, Aged-Up Mutant Ninja Turtles, Romance, Love, Love Confessions, Falling In Love, Unrequited Love, Rejection, Aromantic Asexual Michelangelo (TMNT), Bisexual Donatello (TMNT), Pansexual Leonardo (TMNT), Lesbian Cassandra Jones | Foot Recruit, Demisexual April O'Neil (TMNT), Implied Cassandra Jones | Foot Recruit/April O'Neil/Sunita, Endgame Donatello (TMNT)/Reader, Romantic Love, Platonic Love, Panic Attacks, Sexuality Crisis, Agoraphobia, Social Anxiety, Happy Ending, Fluff

Synopsis:  You’ve lost most of your life to anxiety and fear. Now, in your late 20s, you are desperate to reclaim it and during one such outing you encounter the sun personified. With his and his similarly celestially inspired family, will you finally reach your goal or will you lose yourself along the way?

Also available on Ao3

First 💛 Previous

You were dying.

Not in a medical sense though if you were to be strapped into some type of machine, you imagined your charts would be something worthy of a medical journal. Your heart was pounding out of your chest, you felt lightheaded, your ears were ringing, your skin felt aflame, sweat dotted the back of your neck against the hairs that stood up there, and somehow amongst all that, you found time to do the wave with the rest of the crowd.

Returning to your seat, though your panic attack refused to join in, you shrank as much as you could. It meant squishing against an unrelenting mix of wood or plastic or whatever the bright bench was made of. The hat on your head did little as an additional layer of protection especially when Leo shot up from the row in front of you.

“ARE YOU EVEN WATCHING UMP!? DO US ALL A FAVOR AND SIGN UP FOR LASIK, YOU BLIND BAT!!!”

A baseball game.

Why had you ever agreed to come to a baseball game?

Because you said yes.

Because you were supposed to say yes.

Because that was the whole supposed point to bettering yourself.

You had to push yourself out of your comfort zone.

Mikey was supposed to help you. 

You should have known hitching your wagon to some great joy would come with karma. 

This was your pittance for your strange friendship agreement. 

Said man would also be your greatest ruin. 

As if on cue and despite yourself, you looked over at said man. Dressed up in way more merch than everyone else, he was his usual beaming ball of incandescent gas. He swam in so much memorabilia that it was hard to believe he could see the field and yet when Leo collapsed back into the seat in front of him, Mikey leaned forward to poignantly discuss whatever contested call you had missed.

Of your current lineup, Raph, Mikey and you had seats in one row while April, Leo, and Donnie had the next. The jockeying for position had been a violent one and you’d opted out of the drawn straws. It seemed poignant that you would accept whatever was left as that was how you acquired your ticket. The only reason you were even here was because Splinter had thrown out his back again and some as of yet unseen man named Draxum refused to accommodate what he apparently called silly human rituals.

Of which had you seated at an example of America’s greatest pastime and another family outing. New York, in her efforts to better embrace mutant kind, had offered up both discounted and specialty seating for mutants in a show of solidarity. At first and predictably, said tickets were highly scrutinized by the Hamato. They had bad blood with baseball stadiums and as such weren’t sure if the entire thing was a trap. In the end, being able to openly attend a game had won out. Thankfully, this didn’t seem like a ruse and so far it was what you assumed should occur during a baseball game. 

Not that you had ever been. 

Sporting events were meant to be seen through screens. 

Yet you wanted more.

You had to be selfish.

You had to rise above your station.

Look where greed got you.

You were having a panic attack and about to ruin everyone’s day. The Hamato finally had a chance to go out and be a part of life as they always deserved. Something you casually threw away on a daily basis. The insult to injury was not lost on you as you spiraled uselessly, but it was the drain you were rounding that threatened to swallow you up. The stakes only made the fall that much steeper. It was your body's fault.

Not something built for bus rides or capitalistic toils, your faulty neurons sent out the wrong chemicals at even worse times. Your adrenaline was confused. It wasn’t in its usual containment unit which you liked to imagine was a rickety old box from some old horror movie. The beast had, of course, escaped and went on a rampage that wasn’t its fault. It wasn’t meant to be there at all. It was meant to be stowed away somewhere safe. It wasn’t meant to be among screaming fans and thus it left your body in ruins with what you could only label as your worst case scenario.

You would soon pass out.

It’d be a thing because it always was. Doctors would understand and throw benzos at you, but for the layman, passing out was something dying people did. 

Good thing it felt exactly like that.

No, fear was the mind killer.

It was the little death.

You’d expire here in the stands and they’d do little more than memorialize you on a bench. 

No, you were avoiding that kind of talk. 

Focus.

What was the rest of the quote?

It was somewhere in your brain.

You could walk back from the ledge.

You had managed before with only minor catastrophizing.

In fact, you’d only actually passed out from panic attacks a handful of times in your life.

A doctor had once told you something.

What’s the worst that could happen?

So you passed out. 

So what?

You would wake up and be fine. 

You would be okay.

The stupid idiot probably hadn’t had a panic attack in his whole life.

No, that was mean.

You had wherewithal which was a good sign. Since panic attacks came from the brain, working through them always seemed like a war against one’s self. You had to be smarter, more clever, and flexible as the same trick to stop them never seemed to work twice. There were some consistencies; it was never good to focus on symptoms because that would mean you were ultimately prone. Given a momentary distraction and since mantras weren’t currently working, you thought maybe you could save yourself with memories. Just as the recollection of your doctor has inspired ire instead of further illness, you moved to comb through what had occurred most recently. Since the ballgame itself had caused your current state, you inched backwards to what had occurred just before it.

It wasn’t the best choice, but Raph had been memorable if nothing else.

As soon as you had entered the park, the oldest brother had diverted your course with his giant form. You tried to glance at the others only to find them wishing various forms of good luck as they got to go to your seats. It had taken you an alarming amount of time to remember Donnie’s warnings. You imagined that was the moon’s way to warn without pretense. It was how night was foreboding and it didn’t immediately illuminate how the ground could shake. It was Raph’s way as the solid earth to find a suitable area behind a beam for his discussion. It was just open enough that others would pass, but the privacy afforded said those walking by would do just that. As others went to get food, hit the restrooms, or find their seats, you were stuck as Raph gave you his shovel talk.  

It was highs and lows as his hero side was at obvious odds with the supposed necessity to strike fear into you. For each time he tried to warn you about hurting Mikey, he’d also backtrack by quickly adding that there would be no actual injuries at your expense. It made for an odd display that reminded you very much of their ninpo demonstration. They were heroes with the power’s of gods and yet they were also wisecracks and had insecurities the same as any other. They were both regular people and far beyond mere mortals. 

By the end, the content hadn’t necessarily struck fear into your heart, but the way Raph’s finger had pointed accusatorily into your chest spoke to more. You were treading dangerous waters and Raph had been the first to actually confirm it. You had long worried about that exact fact yourself, but you had only gotten Donnie and Mikey’s takes so far. Both were painfully bias and, though it was obvious Raph was as well, he had a different edge. For him, he’d been fussing over his super powered siblings his whole life and knew the faults better than anyone. 

He was a good big brother, you thought as he dotted off the conversation by putting his giant paw on your head. He rubbed affection there and airily said he had faith that you probably wouldn’t come to any bad end. It was there again, that odd assurance the Hamato all had in themselves, and you stewed on it as Raph led you to your seats. It was there that you had entered the killing floor where the first anxieties cropped up as the group was agitated because they’d missed the opening pitch due to Leo’s refusal to be the portal bus.

From there you’d stumbled step by step into a panic attack as the sour mood was compounded by the growing noise. It was as if being trapped in a room filling with water as the terrible cacophony drowned you. It spoke of the amount of people in the stands which was daunting enough. This was a special day; mutants and humans colored your stands as a means to represent the lovely tapestry of the city. A commingling of all types, this was the lifeblood and solidarity that American life touted but never achieved. You should have felt a sense of pride at having been a part of it.

All you felt was dismay that you were about to ruin it.

Each step was a threat of falling. Both metaphorically and physically, you imagined yourself tripping down the stairs. You would bust your head open and the leaking blood would light some planted naysayer. They would use you as their excuse that mutant’s were a threat to humanity. 

That might be a little too dramatic. 

It was far more likely that you’d knock over someone’s drink. It would then tumble in a chain reaction that would somehow cause a foam finger to fly out onto the field. There it would hit the bat boy who would strike the mascot who would then roll out onto the field and interrupt a great run. 

Mutant’s Ruin Big Leagues!

The headline would run for years.

You would be little more than a footnote. 

You were the stepping stone for hatred.

You’d pave the way no matter what.

You were spiraling.

Going through your memories had led you back to misery. 

The claws of anxiety were dug into your back and the symptoms were playing out yet again. Any movement at all was akin to a scalping. A player hit a ball for a crack that deafened your swimming ears before the contradictory roar of the crowd fried what was left of your nerves. Left battered and to drain in your seat, the other’s rallied and you were left burning under an exaggerated heat lamp. 

Your pocketful-of-sunshine partner had done very little. Mikey had not registered any of your distress though you couldn’t blame him. There were no obvious outward signs of anxiety until it was too late. From the outside you’d simply appear to faint. Only those studying you would notice how tight your jaw was or how your pupil shook. With Mikey’s helmet, flags, and sticks, there was no way he could see anything so small even if he were to check in.

He couldn’t know that trying to verbalize in this state made it worse. The labor of speech was yet another stressor. If this attack’s onset hadn’t been an immediate one, you might have been able to warn someone. Instead it had been a flash in the pain occurrence which meant you were using every ounce of your sanity to not succumb. 

You could stave this off.

You had before.

Raph whooped loud to announce his return from the concession stand. 

The others readied themselves. 

This day wasn’t for you. 

This was for them. 

You weren’t going to ruin it. 

You were still conscious.

You were still here.

“Finally!” Leo’s mouth slacked around his annoyance. “Dog me, bro!” He held up a hand as if to catch it.

Raph only stared where his arms were totally full. “No.”

“Not even!” April’s head popped out from behind Raph’s form. “C’mon and help pass everything out if you’re so eager.”

“Fine!!” Leo whined long and loud as he got up.

Food and drinks were distributed and you butted your arm against Mikey’s cup. Ice cold condensation one of the best mediators, you let it chill your arm as Raph’s load lightened. Feeling a little more present, you watched as Donnie received a wrapped sandwich which signaled the last of the snapper’s load.

“Where’s my hot dog?”

“Uh…” Raph strung out the sound looking to April who shrugged her shoulders, hands empty.

“My chili cheese dog!?” Leo spoke a little louder.

“It’s, uh… we totally ordered it, didn’t we, April!?”

“S-sure… did…” Her eyes darted away. “I coulda swore…”

“One request! No drink! No nothing! I ask for a hot dog, all beef, the classic, covered in musty chili from a burned pot and cheese so plastic it’s going to be killing a fish in the ocean long after I’m dead and gone!!!”

“Leo, it’s just a-” Mikey started up, chips falling from his square nacho container.

“Don’t!” Leo flew over his seat to slam a finger into Mikey’s lips. “Don’t you dare, of all people, besmirch the name of America’s single greatest ballpark food by saying ‘it’s just a hot dog.’”

“Could be boiled peanuts.” Donnie remarked casually, obviously relishing a chance to fuel the fire.

“Nuts?! Where?!” Raph ducked and knocked over his drink.

“None I’d let near you, Red King.” Donnie crooned. 

The cup hit the ground and dripped down toward Leo.

Leo screamed at the trickle which silenced several rows and sent your blood pressure through the roof.

No amount of cold cola was going to save you now.

Coming off his screech, Leo slammed a foot off onto the steps and made it clear he was going to storm off. “If you’re going to do something! You have to do it yourself, apparently!!”

Muttering a string of curses over how his family couldn’t do a single thing right, Leo led bowlegged fury up the stairs.

“Well, he’s been a peach tonight!” Raph turned, not looking the least bit guilty. “Damage control?”

“I’ll make it worse.” Donnie spoke, breezy.

April snatched his sandwich away.

Donnie glowered at her before spinning to Mikey. “Rock, paper, scissors, again.”

Mikey shook his head. “I actually got this one, I think. I know one of the chef’s and I think I can get Leo into a box. That’ll fix his mood right up.”

“That’s teamwork!” April cheered, throwing a hand out which Mikey high fived.

“Take this and cheer in my stead!” Mikey spun away from the maneuver and poured an avalanche of goods onto your form. Fumbling all of it and the food then placed on top, he was halfway up the stairs before he called back. “Mine is yours! Have fun!”

Dismay.

You looked over your shoulder with tears in your eyes.

The sweep returning to the field was an abysmal one.

Another scream tore through the crowd.

Raph nearly matched April’s volume. 

Loud.

Everything was too loud.

The ringing wouldn’t stop.

Food, colors, it swirled all too much in your lap.

It then drained. 

Away, away.

You mechanically dumped what you could into Mikey’s empty seat and watched your hands shake violently as you retreated.

You squeezed them to your chest.

It was too much.

Electric discharge went through your brain without proper release.

The cage wasn’t cracked, it was busted.

Without repair.

In a blink, you saw the vignette.

That was the final symptom.

You were about to pass out.

Body screaming amongst everything else, you swirled with the dizziness as fainting came on.

Silence encircled you.

You blinked slowly into something purple.

You could still see.

That didn’t make sense.

Your hearing always went after your vision. 

It always occurred the same way. 

There was a moment of dark, after your vision was cut, that preceded the memory loss of unconsciousness.

It shouldn’t be quiet yet. 

Something squeezed your cheeks.

You gasped a breath.

One that sucked greedily on wakefulness.

It was so blessedly quiet.

Your hands moved to your ears on instinct. 

You felt warmth under your fingertips, but not on your head. 

Either you did or didn’t have your sense of touch; the lopsided nature didn’t make sense. 

A small stroke of your pads said you were touching skin. 

There shouldn’t be anyone else’s on your head and confusion carried you to a sort of clarity.

Another squeeze.

It was a reminder to breathe. 

You were supposed to breathe.

You sucked a quaky one and caught hold of a wrist.

It was so close to your face that it didn’t make sense.

Then you saw eyes.

Or rather, you finally comprehended there was a pair close to yours.

Concern painted in dark depths, it took several blinks for you to register its owner.

Donnie had his hands around your head.

‘What are you doing?’ It felt like you mouthed the words because you couldn’t hear them.

You couldn’t hear anything.

‘Panic attack.’ Donnie enunciated slowly so you could catch the familiar mouth movements even though no sound reached you.

You nodded and squeezed your eyes shut to find tears dotting them.

When was the last time you blinked?

The burn said too long and you hunched forward.

Donnie came with you and prevented you from hitting the back of his seat.

Held steady, you felt weepy little whines in your throat and felt all the more pathetic.

You were having a panic attack.

Were.

You hadn’t passed out.

Blinking with recognition, exhaustion hit you.

Having run the equivalent of five marathons all while seated, you brought your gaze back up to him.

He waited there without judgment.

He held you, a steady current.

You caught his arms and squeezed.

He’d caught you at the precipice and you hadn’t gone over.

You gripped him in desperation as he felt like your only lifeline.

Twice now. 

Though the other was his own making, twice Donnie had held you together.

How did he feel being your handler?

How must he feel dealing with you?

You wondered how much guilt played a factor. 

You’d owe him at this rate. 

No matter what part he’d played then, he was your savior now and holding onto him felt like the only way for you to stay safe.

He was the only thing keeping you tethered to his plane.

Probably scratching at him with how pathetic you were, you felt him pull.

His raft keeping you afloat, you buoyed a little shake before you felt the warmth of his forehead hit yours.

A single contact point sent waves of heat throughout your body and with it a flood of a new kind of chemical.

One you didn’t currently have a name for, it was the coziness of being by a fire and warming of a bone deep chill.

You went a calculated slack against him and butted into his head to get a little more of those good feelings.

He allowed it and you settled into a soothing current.

His arms soon shifted, settling against the back of the seat separating the two of you and you wedged yourself between them as a ballast. Comfortable to a point minus the fact you very much wanted to sleep, you didn’t mourn much when he pulled his head away. Keeping his hands steady around you, you gave him a dopey expression for the solace he’d given you and he shook his head with a tiny smile in return.

He squeezed the sides of your head again and at first you thought it was admonishment, but you quickly felt there was something else there. His hands slid a little lower and you released your lock on him to explore what it was. Unable to move much further above his fingers, you brushed to find a band of metal. It revealed little and a twist within his palm found a circle encasing your ear. Whatever it was almost felt like headphones and with that thought you realized it was the goggles he always wore. 

You sent all your surprise toward him. 

You had no evidence of it, but the fact that you’d never seen him without them seemed to mean they were important. 

Except, for whatever reason, he’d placed them on your head. 

‘I’m sorry-!’

He pinched your cheek.

‘Ow!’

You earned another pinch.

Thinking maybe he didn’t want you to talk, you slicked your expression into a wounded one.

That got a bit of a smile and you decided he was a sadist as he tapped your left ear cover.

There was no sound and instead a vibration against your head. 

Unsure of what he wanted, you turned that direction and he curled his large hand around your ear before barely lifting the headset. Sound ate up the new real estate, but he quickly tucked his head beside yours to force it out. “Status?”

“Better?” You sounded raspy and you jolted a little now that you could hear yourself.

“Noise canceling.” He explained, his voice steady amongst the leaking sounds of a baseball game.

“Don’t… you need these?”

“Someone else needed them more.”

“How’d you know?” You rested your cheek against his.

He stiffened a little against you, but you weren’t sure if it was from the contact or the question.

Why was it so easy to be familiar with him?

You should be terrified of him. 

You should hate him. 

He seemingly appeared only during your worst moments. 

You were wrung out.

You would stop interacting with him like this another time. 

Now he was your life preserver. 

“I saw you. I noted the symptoms.” He hesitated once before adding, “I… know the feeling all too well…”

It was the content then.

You might not know the finer details, but from what the Hamato had saved the world from, you imagined the aftermath they dealt with was equally large.

“I’m sorry…” You mumbled back.

“If that’s for taking these then you know the repercussions.” The hand that was still cupping your face turned with fingers ready to snag your cheek. 

“No! The other thing! Def the other thing!”

“I never said.” You couldn’t see him, but you could feel his eyes narrow with suspicion. “Pity?”

“Understanding.” You rubbed your cheek against his to enforce your apology so he’d hopefully accept. “I’m sorry you know what this feels like.”

“I suppose I could say the same.” He ended his statement with a thoughtful hum.

“Thank you. You… you really saved me.”

“Statically speaking and based on your health records, a panic attack would not be lethal for you.”

“We really need to establish boundaries.” Your voice flattened out. 

“I gathered that information before.” He had a bit of a complaint to him. “As in when I was still evaluating your morality.” 

“Doesn’t make it okay. What if I got your doctor notes just because I thought you were a bad guy?”

“I’d applaud you for breaking into my system and try to fold you into my evil army.”

You pulled away to view him.

He shrugged nonchalantly, but it only further contested the great care he exhibited in making sure his hand still blocked out excessive noise.  

“How’d you notice? No one else did. Weren’t you watching the game?”

“I was until Leo threw his little temper tantrum.”

Donnie had watched Leo leave like everyone else. 

He was in front of you. 

He would have had to turn around. 

You would have been in his periphery.

You could only think of how very much that suited the moon.

Where the sun blasted its way through its stage, the moon was reflected light. It needed a source; it needed a certain level of attention. It also revealed. Where the sun poured out lumens indiscriminately, the moon carved out the dark. Seeking to reveal that which was hidden, it acted as an uncaring guiding light. A savior to many, its fickle nature turned the rest away.

You moved your hands over his and squeezed. “Thank you.”

“You’ve said that already.” He didn’t seem to care, exactly as you thought.

“Don’t like repetition?”

“I don’t like wasted time” He scoffed.

You jarred and his hands tightened like a wrench.

“Which this is not, to be clear! Do you understand?”

“No…?”

“I don’t need your thanks.” His brows came down, serious. “That’s superfluous. This.” He pressed your cheeks. “This I would do as long as necessary without a thought of complaint. There’s a difference. I’m saying it’s obvious.”

Your lids lowered.

You guessed it was.

“You missed the game…”

“Ah, yes. Missing how every few minutes the golden retriever mutant a few seats down will block my view and throw slobber around? Miss how Leo elbows me every time there’s a run? Miss the repulsive stickiness that seems to cling to this entire stadium and how no amount of hosing down will make me feel as though I’ve washed it off? Sure, I missed so much.”

You stared at him.

“That was sarcasm.” He felt the need to clarify. 

You laughed.

The sound came with a joyous feeling in your chest that you usually didn’t feel until after you’d slept off the effects of your panic attack.

Riding the high, your vision uncrinkled and you clipped the stunned expression on Donnie’s face.

Your lips dropping with a question, you might have teased him about it had something else broke through the barrier of Donnie’s hand. 

“Y/N!” Mikey yelled. 

You were released and the headphones dropped into place with Donnie only giving one quick squeeze to the left side.

The softshell returned to the game as if he’d never touched you.

“What happened? Are you okay?” Mikey kicked the junk in his seat out of the way to reach you.

You could hear him.

Glancing once at Donnie, you could also tell the rest of the stadium sounds were far quieter.

There must have been a setting he’d activated in that last touch.

Something that blocked out background noise.

“Y/N!!!” Mikey caught one of your hands where it was still hung in the air from the person you were once holding.

“I… I had a panic attack.” You explained in a voice that was probably too soft, but you weren’t sure how to modulate your volume with the headset dulling it yet.

Mikey’s crestfallen expression was quickly buoyed as he caught a glimpse of Donnie’s goggles. “So that’s what Donnie was doing! These help him a ton! Don!!” Mikey turned his joy on his brother.

Donnie might have stayed stubbornly away if Leo, who had also returned and was not sporting a mouth full of chili dog, hadn’t shoved an elbow into him. “Look at Dontron, over here! Being the hero all on his own!”

“Help was asked and I simply responded to an inquiry!” Donnie growled, clearly flicking his gaze to you in his periphery before it flew back to Leo.

You smiled.

“Are you alright now?” Mikey fussed, looking you over.

“Tired.” You admitted.

“We gotta put something on that glaring chrome dome!” Leo took off his hat and plopped it on Donnie’s head.

“Leo!” Donnie shrieked. “This has chili on it!!”

“A bonus!” Leo winked.

“Bonus this!” Donnie raised his fist, but Raph had the reach to catch it.

The older brother then quickly extracted the hat and smushed it and Leo back down into his respective seat. “How about we give Donnie a prize? I’m feeling kinda bad that Raph didn’t notice neither.”

“T-that’s okay…” Your hands came up.

“Downplay your reactions.” Donnie sneered at everyone but you. “You don’t feed panic attacks; you ignore them.”

“Then let’s enjoy the game!” April cheered and yanked Leo who splattered himself with more chili in the process.

“I suppose I wouldn’t say no to kettle corn however...” Donnie mumbled as he faced the field while craning a head to his arm for a lackluster display.

No one else reacted and you returned to find Mikey patiently smiling at you.

Had he not heard?

He was just as close.

You had a feeling it had something to do with the goggles.

“Can… can we get… kettle corn?” You asked Mikey.

“Of course! Maybe some water too? You haven’t had anything…”

“Yeah… sure…”

“Let’s go! Don’t worry if your legs are weak, I can lift four whole Raphs!”

“The projections don’t weigh as much as the original!” Raph chirped to annoy him.

Mikey pointedly ignored that and offered you his hand.

You took it. 

It had a certain warmth. 

You would try harder to tell Mikey next time. 

You couldn’t keep relying on Donnie to save the day. 

The purple brother invaded your thoughts and you tugged, ready to remove the goggles.

Donnie’s voice wafted into your ears. “Keep them.”

“But…” You stared at the back of his unmoving form

“Take care of them and return in one piece.”

You nodded.

“Y/N?”

“Huh?” You spoke absently. 

“Who are you talking to?” Mikey leaned into your vision.

You gave one final glance at Donnie before staring right into bright orange. “No one, let’s go.”

💛 NEXT 💛

Whoop thank you to my betas @tmntxthings and @thepinkpanther83

[nerves-nebula]

I like ur TMNT au a lot I like how....... casual u put the abuse and crap they go through but also the fact that I actually take it seriously and with the care it deserves like how gender and sexuality exploration intertwine so much with these themes like....U make it real and I'm grateful for the way you write about it u are as serious as it's needed but u don't make it all depressive circle jerk it lightens it up y'know it makes one feel less alone I guess

thaNK YOUUUUU i'm happy it makes you feel less alone!!! its mostly because of how i talk & about my own trauma which is like "well that sucks and it happened and will effect me but i'm still a silly billy in day to day life, when i'm not extremely sad hah"

LIKEEE i've gotten critiques sometimes from professors or friends who find some of my work, i dunno, kind of extremely whip-lashy? like they get tonal whiplash or something and they think that's, like, a negative thing. or a jarring aspect that takes them out of the art.

when the point is that i don't really consider it a tonal whiplash at all. because when these things happen it really is like, an hour or less between laughing with my siblings and watching one of them slam the other ones head into the floor repeatedly, and then less than an hour later we're eating dinner together, and then a few hours after that we're watching columbo.

the speed at which shit hits the fan and the speed at which you kind of just have to go back to normal is kinda important to me because I think it's a crucial part of abusive dynamics that doesn't often get discussed.

when you think of someone being abused you think of all the bad things, you might consider their life revolving around that abuse, and sometimes it does (especially if it's a parent). but even then, you'll likely have a lot of downtime between bad things. you've got time to dance, and talk with your siblings, and all this other shit.

and yeah idk, it's not all bad and it won't be all bad forever, and you can make jokes about it !! andddd !! fsadfsd idk why I'm even rambling, i'm preaching to the choir here hah

[mushtoons]

I have been going slightly crazy searching for a fanart on here

It was a crossover between different iterations of tmnt, in which they discussed gender identity/sexuality and such. I can't find it, can y'all help me?? Thank you very much anyway!

not sure if u mean something we drew or on tumblr as a whole cuz we've drawn something like that called fruit friday with the 2012/2018 turts but other than that we aren't sure!

if anyone knows what they're talking about please let us know cuz we're curious too 👀

[spectrumscribe]

Hi I was wondering, do you have specific headcanons of the main six? Like pronouns, orientations, and gender identity? I'm always super interested to hear what ideas people have for them!!

if we’re talking canon type ‘verse things, i usually go with the already in place gender and pronouns, and go wild with orientations in my spare time. (polys, pans, bis, aro/aces, the homos- all the orientations at least once or twice.)

however, if we’re talking about completely ridiculous and unlikely AU’s, and ones i sit and think about privately and only share when prompted- then i do have a bunch of other identity HC’s for them. (also, this is like a rambly stream of thought, which it is, and i hope that’s alright.)

i’ve written a couple trans male donnie stories before, (humanverse ones mostly, but a one-shot at one point for turtle him as well), as well as trans male raph. i know in the fandom people have done trans donnie or raph for fetishy reasons, but my stories… idk, i chose to make it so because it fits well into the universe? if that makes sense? and just that i think transgendered individuals are neat. there’s a humanverse capritello fic i never got to writing that involves them both being trans twins together, and idk i just think its a cute universe. (someone hit me up on it if anyone wants to know the story overview)

i also have the idea of an intersex male identifying raph from like three million years ago, around the time i started learning more about that identity and thinking it was really neat that someone could biologically be more than one sex at a time.

mikey i’ve always seen as someone who just doesn’t care much about gender labels or assigned sexes. i feel he’d be the type to just roll with whatever pronouns or assumed gender someone gave him, and not really even notice. he’s basically this audible shrug to me in terms of his gender/sex. as for sexuality, i usually see him as an asexual who fluctuates aromantic at times. or, as a defiance to that headcanon, the aromantic that has a new partner every weekend, and has slept with pretty much everyone in his social group.

and sometimes i like to headcanon ideas of mikey and raph being both agendered, since there’s so little agender representation out there, and the idea that they dislike sex assignments as much as me always makes me happy. and then there’s agender april, and genderfluid casey, and trans girl irma, and just… lots of other dumb AU’s that never got past me thinking “that would be really cool to see.”

leo is typically a cis boy in my head, though i’m always open to other gender identities for him. typically he ends up a bisexual too, and that’s always messy since i think of him as this intensely bad flirt and unable to get a date with either of the genders he likes.

the only person here whose orientation and gender identity never changes is Shinigami’s from 2012; which is that she is a lovely lovely lady and an enormous lesbian.

idk, really its that everything really just boils down to whatever sort of headcanons i’m in the mood for in the moment. i have a huge thing for diversity and representation, and love putting it out there that all these identities exist in the world.

if i were a sketch artist instead of a wordsmith, i’d probably have drawn a shit ton of these headcanon’s and attached quippy little remarks stating that that was the character’s gender/sexual identity and there was nothing anyone could do about it. (until i made a new picture later where the headcanons had changed, and idk, everything is fluid.)

i wish more of the fandom was down for this sort of thing, and did it respectfully and with informed perspective. its a real shame they don’t. :/

[beetlegoose01]

In Defense of 2012 April

TW for mentions of sexual harassment and misogynist slurs 

I'm back here for another semi long post. I want to discuss TMNT 2012's version of April O' Neil (perfect timing with the month and all)  and why I personally think the hatred that goes towards her is …excessive to say the least, and frankly makes little to no sense. 

Before I begin, I would like to say I do think there are valid critiques of April as a character. Some of them I will mention here because even with characters I like, I will always point out flaws to not be a hypocrite. However, many of those complaints can be attributed to poor writing and lack of a woman's perspective when creating female characters. 

Let's step back for a moment and think. If April was not April, say she was August, or heck if she and Casey Jones swapped roles, would she get the same amount of hate? Well she sure as hell wouldn't get sexualized as much by the animators I'll tell ya that.

The truth is, I'm not really sure of the answer to that question. I do think there are double standards when it comes to guy characters vs girl ones. A guy with psychic powers but is prone to emotional outbursts sounds cool, right? 

I know there will be people that argue with me in the notes saying there isn't an unconscious bias towards gender, and clearly I'm being over dramatic. Well, I might as well go through the common complaints about April instead of stalling lol

1. She gets kidnapped too often! 

Starting off with probably my favorite complaint. *GASP*  April O' Neil gets kidnapped too often in a superhero cartoon where kidnapping is the most life threatening but still kid friendly crime they can do!

In early 2021 I rewatched 2012 and recorded a tally chart. For those who aren't in the server don't know, it's basically a count of every single instance a character got kidnapped. April got captured a total of 20 times. Sure seems like a lot.  But you know who got captured more times than her?

 Mikey, Donnie and Raph.

In fact, Mikey got captured more than 30 times! Yes, I counted and yes I'm aware I have no life. Yet I haven't heard anyone complain about those dudes in distresses getting their asses rescued by literally everyone. 

Like I said. It's a superhero cartoon. Kidnapping is…kind of a thing that happens. Everyone gets captured in this show, it really isn't that deep.

2. April is rude to Donnie!

Alright, this one legitimately gets me frustrated. 

If you are being harassed and stalked, you absolutely have a right to be rude to the person harassing you. Abusers do NOT deserve kindness, especially when they won't leave you the fuck alone. 

Now you may be wondering, what does this have to do with April? I'll tell you. 

That's the entire Apriltello arc in a nutshell. She is repeatedly harassed by Donnie and to a lesser extent Casey (and yes, Donnie did stalk her, no matter how good his intentions were it's fucked up). There is no win to this scenario. If this was real life, she would be called a bitch for rejecting such a "nice guy" . If she accepted him…well you know how some guys aren't always as nice as they seem…

If she was nice, she's a slut and trying too hard, if she's cold and upfront she's a bitch. I know this because I had to deal with the exact same thing April was going through during the early seasons of 2012. 

Now that the heavy part is out of the way, I would like to clarify I don’t hate 2012 Donnie. In fact, he’s my favorite Donatello. But I’m not going to say his actions were excusable. 

In regards to general rudeness, most of her comments ("Nice catch Donnie!") are just snarkiness typical of a teenager, and the boys have actually said and done a lot worse.

3. The Kiss (es) 

Yeah okay I agree with this one. It doesn't make any sense, especially in the episode a Foot Too Big. I think it would be nice to have her not kiss him, but keep the speech there. And after that ironically, Donnie mellowed out with his crush. 

I guess I can only really blame poor writing on that. 

4. She's a Mary Sue 

So in terms of her psychic powers, I think if they were explained a bit more, it would make more sense. If there were scenes of her practicing, or heck, the origins behind it beyond "she's part Kraang". Actually, come to think of it, wouldn't it be awesome if she actually had some Kraang-like appearances to her design? Maybe as her powers got stronger? 

As for her becoming a kunoichi, it was obvious that she was not as strong of a fighter as the turtles in several instances. The only times I can think of where she saves them involve her powers, not her ninja skills. She graduated the first part of being a ninja in Season 4, she didn't automatically become an expert. 

5. Uh didn't she kill Donnie-

Oh my God. NO SHE DIDN'T. Okay, am I the only one who finds this "reason" to be stupid? She was under control of an aeon crystal! Za-Naron 'killed' Donnie, not April.

In conclusion? April deserves better and stop reblogging my April appreciation post with hate. Thank you. 

[this-world-of-beautiful-monsters]

LGBTQIA+ Raph fics

Based on an Ao3 request; limited to pre-2k18 fics as per specification. You can also find this list and others here. 

The Chronicles of Karai Getting Her Shit Together by Crowdog @50-shades-of-cloaca - 2012 AU centered around Leorai, but also include Ace!Raph (tw violence, past csa, trauma, underage/rape-noncon, internalized ableism, self-harm, suicide attempt, nonconsensual drug use, torture)

Your Heart's Desire by Werepirechick - Rasey AU about groceries, holy water spray bottles, and the dangerous of summoning while drunk (tw violence)

De Novo by hummerhouse @hummerhouse - Slash finds Raph at Northampton and sets about turning his world upside down (tw explicit, past violence)

Call Me What I Am by Kyn - A "surprisingly unsexy" intersex!Raph story where a stomach bug takes on strange new dimensions, and the fallout sends the family reeling (tw gender identity issues, underage rape/noncon, trauma, violence)

vulnerable by coffeeandcream - Raph doesn't know how to deal when Casey is gentle (tw insecurity, sexual content, intimacy issues)

A Collection of Raph & Casey Shit by coffeeandcream - Fluffy little stories about the street punk and the mutant turtle (tw explicit)

Kiss by melismatic - Casey and Raph debate the meaning of a first kiss

resolution by taizi @taizi - Raph welcomes in the New Year with Casey

well suited by taizi @taizi - Casey and Raph make a try at normalcy

Panda Wolves by Crowdog @50-shades-of-cloaca - Strange dreams force the Hamato to take a dark trip down memory lane; background Rasey (tw underage rape/noncon, csa, gaslighting, child abuse, attempted child murder, trauma, violence, bathroom issues, victim blaming, nonconsensual drug use)

Misdirection by thekumquat - Casey and Raph find revelation through miscommunication (tw light violence)

The Bandana by TMNTFOREVER666 - April discovers a secret; gnc/possibly trans/unclear Raph (tw misgendering)

fowo's TMNT universe by fowo - A series about Raph struggling to figure out his feelings for Casey; includes themes of asexuality (tw awkwardness, discussions of bigotry; the third story includes trauma, major character death, and grief)

Casey Trips and Falls... In Love by coffeeandcream - Casey and Raph's "friends with benefits" relationship takes on new dimensions (tw explicit, awkwardness, relationship angst, insecurity, self-esteem issues)

Winner Takes All by Adoradork for Duz-Machines-1984 - Raph and Casey engage in some rough games (tw explicit)

What Doesn't Kill You by ladycyon - Raph tries to hide his heartbreak at Casey's wedding (tw one-sided relationships, alcohol, unhealthy coping mechanisms)

Mixed Signals by ladycyon - Casey figures out the reason behind one of Raph's less human habits (tw implied sexual content)

"Chapter 3" from TMNT Smut Dump by suthnmeh - A brilliant piece of Rasey art (tw explicit)

Rough and Dirty by orphan_account - Casey and Raph get dirty in multiple ways (tw explicit)

Hobo Au Caseyraph by dragona15 - Art of Raph receiving comfort from an unusual source (tw implied homelessness)

Raph✘Casey | "La La Love" [HBD Justy!!] by Ransy - A magnificent Rasey tribute (tw flashing)

You're Fine by leones @leonsi - Raph visits Casey in the hospital and tries not to crumble (tw sickness, fears of major character death, referenced panic attacks)

Say My Name by LeeontheNeon - Shot of pure Rasey fluff

this art by snuffed - Crack AU where Rasey runs headfirst into the Twilight cover

our love is a forest fire by taizi @taizi - Raph gives Casey a place to rest (tw implied alcoholism, tw past child abuse, injury)

oh, but I'm not bitter. i'm just tired. by leones @leonsi - Leo's brothers help him with a breakup; featuring bi Raph (tw past family dysfunction)

"Alcohol" from ABC TMNT by This_world_of_beautiful_monsters - Casey and Raph celebrate a fight and make a discovery (tw alcohol, past violence)

"Enemy" from ABC TMNT II: Out Of The Ooze by This_world_of_beautiful_monsters - Casey won't let Raph go again (tw mind control, violence)

"Eulogy" from TMNT ABC IV: Turtles Forever And Ever And Ever by This_world_of_beautiful_monsters - Raph's boyfriend and friends help him find some closure with a long-ago loss (tw grief, past homelessness, trauma, past violence, implied ableism)

"Intruder" from TMNT ABC IV: Turtles Forever And Ever And Ever by This_world_of_beautiful_monsters - Raph's family learns about a change in his relationship situation (tw violence, nightmares, trauma, implied child abuse, implied sexual content)

"Tastes Like Blood And Tears" from Underground Rainbows by This_world_of_beautiful_monsters - 50 sentences about Casey and Raph (tw child abuse, abuse, major character death, blood, violence, sexual content, homophobia, speciesm, trauma, crying, alcoholism, torture, mpreg, amnesia)

Merry Fucking Hangover by This_world_of_beautiful_monsters - Insight into the turtles and their friends on Christmas morning, including background Rasey (tw implied sexual content, implied family dysfunction, drug and alcohol use)

"Bloody Kisses And Fierce Hearts (Red)" from Covered In The Colors, Pulled Apart At The Seams by This_world_of_beautiful_monsters - Raph will do anything to save Casey, even when Casey doesn't ask for it (tw past violence, past gore, past child abuse, sexual content, past homophobia, slut shaming, past underage prostitution, past domestic abuse, mentions of alcoholism, blood)

Fallen Angel by This_world_of_beautiful_monsters - AU where Hun brings home a trapped turtle for his criminal gang and equally trapped son (tw child abuse, violence, bigotry, slurs, suicidal thoughts, torture, dehumanization)

"I is for...." from Rainbow Soup by This_world_of_beautiful_monsters - Raph breaks the rules to take part in a pro-intersex rights demonstration (tw implied nonconsensual medical procedures, bigotry, fears of violence)

"White bodies naked on the low damp ground" from The Waste Land by This_world_of_beautiful_monsters - Raph and Donnie a special kind of heartbreak at the end of the world (tw horror, major character death, violence, apocalypse, grief, trauma, gore, corpse desecration)

"I never promised you an open heart or charity" from The Red Room (The Bloody Chamber) by This_world_of_beautiful_monsters - Raph remembers a lost love while in the hands of a monster (tw torture, mind control, underage rape/noncon, blood, knives, sexual assault, humiliation, emotional/psychological abuse)

"There are loud toys" from "All are welcome and all have a home in the toybox" of The Red Room (The Bloody Chamber) by This_world_of_beautiful_monsters - Casey is a dick, as usual (tw explicit)

"In public" from "Embrace" of We All Need Someone To Lean On by This_world_of_beautiful_monsters - Casey and Raph work out an awkward, but not-unbearable means of avoiding discovery via cuddles

Yo Woody by This_world_of_beautiful_monsters - Mikey writes Woody letters from Northampton; features background Rasey (tw implied csa, implied underage rape/noncon, family dysfunction, trauma, past mind control, past violence)

My Flesh To Rule by This_world_of_beautiful_monsters - Casey engages in a difficult, but necessary procedure (tw transphobia, harassment, brief slut shaming, abortion, accidental pregnancy, implied sexual content, medical procedures, anti-abortion sentiment from minor characters)

"First Dates" from sweet creature (we're running through the garden) by This_world_of_beautiful_monsters - Raph and Casey head out on a perfectly normal patrol together

"Red Lipstick" from spice up your life (who would want anything else?) by This_world_of_beautiful_monsters - Casey dresses up for the night and Raph takes notice

not gonna write you a love song by This_world_of_beautiful_monsters for leones - A story about genderfluid!Raph working out platonic desires and aromanticism with Casey's help (tw sexual content, brief internalized arophobia)

apathy's a tragedy (and boredom is a crime) by This_world_of_beautiful_monsters - In which Casey, Mona, and Raph deal with memes and bondage (tw explicit)

it's important to hold on (hold on) by This_world_of_beautiful_monsters - Little Mermaid AU where Raph ends up saving a reckless human (tw blood, injury, near death experiences, emotional constipation)

"soulmates" from with friends like these, who needs by This_world_of_beautiful_monsters - Raph's an aromantic person with a soulmate, and he and Casey have to deal with that (tw insecurity)

"forbidden/star-crossed romance" from with friends like these, who needs by This_world_of_beautiful_monsters - Raph is called to serve in a moment of need

Turtlecest (wasn't sure if this counted for request, included it separately)

Casting Stones at the River by GoblinCatKC @goblincatkc-blog - Raph and his lovers reckon with the passage of time and how it refuses to touch them (tw tcest, explicit, family dysfunction, possible abuse, violence, mental health issues, explosions, apocalypse)

Blackout by Queen_B - The turtle family play a game of hide and seek with steamy stakes (tw explicit)

Past to Present by crabapplered - Raph and his family welcome Donnie home (tw explicit, past violence, internalized ableism, trauma, family dysfunction, past separation)

A Different Path by VenusTheMarvelTurtle - Raph finds his heart dangerously tangled up with that of Leonardo, the Foot clan's most ruthless warrior (tw explicit, torture, past child abuse, child abduction, violence, mental health issues, trauma, suicidal thoughts, torture, rape/noncon, past csa, toxic relationships, alcohol, vomit)

Twisted Autumn by GoblinCatKC - Leo and Raph try to discover who they are together (tw explicit)

Broken Brother by Koalagriton - Leo finds an unconventional way of calling a brainwashed Raph home (tw explicit, alcohol, mind control, identity issues, violence)

Haunted by Kiraynn - Raph does his best to help Leo recover from an ugly experience (tw past rape/noncon, trauma, explicit)

Evolution by Kiraynn - A timeline of Leo and Raph's slowly developing relationship, through the lens of a shared bed (tw explicit, underage/underage)

Hello by Gemi - Raph has an unusual encounter in the jungle (tw guns)

Release by Blackdragon @blackdragon-sama - Leo gives Raph the support he needs at the farmhouse (tw injury, trauma)

Gravid Problems by Gemi for Blackdragon - Raph and Leo try to figure out a sticky new situation (tw mpreg, sexual content)

Push and Pull by orphan_account - Raph has a willful brother to tame (tw explicit)

Abyssal by orphan_account - Raph experiences something awful and Leo tries to help him through (tw explicit, rape/noncon, near-death experiences, trauma)

The Games We Play by babygirl127 for hummerhouse - Raph tempts Donnie into a game (tw explicit)

Usually, Don plus bed plus moaning was always a good thing. by turtlesketches for DashWrites - Raph tries to help Donnie through a difficult time (tw explicit, mpreg)

Focus by babygirl127 - Raph and his brothers teach each other about focus (tw explicit)

Colorful by Anonymous - Raph needs to watch his smart mouth, but Leo doesn't mind (tw sexual content)

Uncover by orphan_account - Raph and Mikey negotiate the rocky new world of spanking (tw explicit)

Running Scales by orphan_account for InkyTurtle (Melodistic) - Dirty little stories about Raph and his brothers (tw explicit)

To Give by orphan_account - Leo and Raph put on a show for their family (tw explicit)

Lick the Bowl by Plastron - Donnie discovers Raph is up for licking a lot of things (tw explicit)

Raphael and Donatello by RomaMarufixx - A collection of sexy Raphtello stories (tw explicit, some fat shaming)

Eggs by squishyturtlefuckfics - Leo pushes Raph's limits (tw explicit)

Handyman by Plastron - Donnie pushes himself too hard and Raph takes advantage (tw explicit)

"The Secret" from The 100 by Alessa_DC - Raph and Donnie reel from a revelation

Raphael/Donatello Mating Drabbles by Plastron - A collection of both steamy and warm-hearted stories (tw explicit, mpreg, dubious consent, body image issues)

Lava Cake by orphan_account - Mikey and Raph figure each other out with food

Fair's Fair by TheAlchemistsDaughter - Leo provides certain services for the family, but Raph wants to give back (tw explicit, insecurity)

Same Coin, Different Faces by orphan_account - Raph and his brothers work out cross-dimensional sexual tensions (tw explicit)

The Red Herring by orphan_account - Raph tries to handle losing Leo, his soulmate (tw family dysfunction, relationship issues, shame, trauma, separation, not-actual character death, grief)

Montage by hummerhouse @hummerhouse - Sexy stories about Raph and his brothers (tw explicit)

Stolen Time by GoblinCatKC @goblincatkc-blog - Leo has a strange request for Raph (tw shame, mature/explicit)

Libido in Question by Bad_WolfGirl - Raph and Donnie team up to prove the strength of Raph's libido (tw sexual content)

Drawing the Short Straw by squishyturtlefuckfics - Raph and his brothers play a game (tw explicit)

Kink-Off by Stegosaur - A collection of Kinktober stories, many of them starring Raph (tw explicit)

Primordial Monsters Get Good Coverage by orphan_account - Casey gets caught up in Leo and Raph's game (tw explicit, possible dubcon)

To Succumb by orphan_account - Mikey helps Raph test his limits (tw explicit)

Unwanted Bonds by Blackdragon @blackdragon-sama - Raph is brought him with heavy scars (tw explicit, trauma, child death, forced pregnancy, PTSD, depression, medical torture)

Forever is a Long Time by DuzMachines1984 (orphan_account - A collection of interwoven stories about Leo and Raph's relationship (tw explicit, trauma, dubcon, rape/noncon, abuse)

Party Time by orphan_account - Raphael is offered up at a party (tw explicit, alcohol)

The three times Raphael swore he was being stalked by Languidly - What it says on the tin, to the tune of Leo and Raph's developing relationship (tw nonconsensual stalking)

Burning Alive by spaze_cat - Raph and Donnie through interlinked stories about fire (tw injury, mentioned explosions, implied sexual content)

He Doesn't Scream by GoblinCatKC @goblincaveofficial - Leo and Raph's relationship takes a strange term (tw explicit, dubcon)

Someone Has a Choking Kink by glitch0_0 (orphan_account) - Raph lends Leo a helping hand (tw explicit, consent issues due to heat)

The Hots by Languidly - Raph can't keep his eyes off of Leo (tw explicit)

"Honor and Courage" from Everybody Wants Leo by Alessa_DC - Art of Leo and Raph together (tw very explicit)

Send Your Lifeboats Out For Me by Crowdog @50-shades-of-cloaca - Raph, Mikey, and Donnie try to figure out one of Leo's secrets (tw rape/noncon not between main characters, child abuse, victim blaming, genital mutilation, torture, trauma, violence, explicit)

The Driver's Seat by hummerhouse @hummerhouse - Raph and Leo fight over who gets taken for a ride (tw explicit, dubcon)

At Odds by hummerhouse @hummerhouse - Donnie tries to figure out his warring brothers; chapters 1 and 4 are particularly Raph-centric (tw explicit)

Doctor Donnie by PrincessFreak - Donnie pushes his brothers' medical limits; chapters 1, 4, and 7 are Raph-centric (tw explicit, dubcon)

Aggressive Empathy in the Abyss (AEITA) by Gemma Winchester (PrincessGemma12), PrincessGemma12 @princessgemma12 - Pieces of Leo and Raph's relationship unfolding in the shape of something awful (tw past underage rape/noncon, consensual underage, trauma, explicit, unhealthy coping mechanisms, flashbacks, psychological trauma, recreational drug use, PTSD)

Good as His Word by hummerhouse for NeatTea @neattea-ruby - Raph finds himself losing a high-stakes bargain with Leo (tw explicit)

Three Days Later by what_should_i_post_here - Donnie finds his place in Leo and Raph's relationship (tw explicit)

Hindsight is Twenty-Twenty by Crapapplered - Leo and Raph wage a war with Donnie serving as the battlefield (tw explicit)

Drabbles and Slash by her_silhouette - A collection of drabbles frequently centered around Donnie/Raph (tw explicit, relationship issues, shame, mind control, mpreg)

Full Throttle by Dorkjitsu - Donnie and Raph find new uses for Raph's motorcycle (tw explicit)

Erogenous by Kiraynn - Raph won't leave Leo in peace (tw explicit)

Heart to Heart by Crapapplered - Leo helps Raph when he worries about taking advantage of Donnie (tw mature/explicit)

Stairway to Heaven by Crapapplered - Casey, Raph, and Don share something special (tw explicit)

Rope by Crapapplered - Donnie is caught off guard by what Raph, Mikey, and Leo are up to behind his back (tw explicit)

TLC by Crapapplered - An injured Raph receives a very special kind of comfort from Donnie (tw injury, explicit)

Christmas Shopping by Crapapplered - Raph and Donnie go shopping together

Nara Black: Mirror's Shadow In My Skin by crabapplered, GoblinCatKC @goblincatkc-blog - Raph and his brothers desperately try to outrun a curse (tw violence)

Punishing Raphael by hummerhouse @hummerhouse - Raph gets punished for coming home late (tw explicit, dubcon)

12: Raph and Leo dirty talk HCs. Someone had to ask. <3 by Blackdragon Sama - An insight into Leo and Raph's sex life (tw explicit, mock-possessive behavior)

Raph 18 by Blackdragon-sama @blackdragon-sama - Further insights into Raph's desires (tw explicit, dubcon)

Broken words - Leonardo, with this, this, and this related art by blackdragonsama @blackdragon-sama - Leo and Raph form a dark pact (tw sexual content, blood, suicidal thoughts, self-harm, intense self-harm imagery, mental health issues)

Black Swan by hummerhouse @hummerhouse - Raph and Donnie's relationship takes a strange turn during a harrowing captivity, complicated by the presence of Agent Bishop (tw imprisonment, threatens of torture, molestation, rape/noncon, dubcon)

Knock Off by PrincessFreak - Raph struggles with his feelings for Donnie (tw internalized homophobia, misogyny, toxic masculinity, sexuality crisis, gender roles)

Leoweek RxL by NeiNing - A fan comic about Raph helping Leo out during his heat (tw dubcon, very explicit)

Trust by Kamefootninja (Kame630) - Raph learns to let Leo take over (tw explicit, phobia mention)

Show Time by Caroaimezoe - Raph witnesses something odd and it has reverberations through his relationship with Leo (tw explicit, relationship angst, insecurity)

The guilt you dont deserve [comic] by Traitmill - Raph comforts Leo after a painful experience (tw trauma, gore, explicit, guilt, blood)

Midnight Bargain by GreenElphaba - Leo and Raph find a kind of balance in their seemingly endless power struggle (tw explicit)

The Toll of Hours by GreenElphaba - Raph sits up by Leo's side and tries not to fall apart (tw injury, blood, trauma)

Let's go hunting by NeatTea @neattea-ruby - Sequel to Donny needs some love (that story has some dubcon); Leo and Raph share a special experience in a lake (tw explicit, mild near-drowning)

Losing All Control by renk3r - Raph tries to figure out what exactly irritates him about Leo (tw sexual content, mature)

Do you feel it? by Riu_wiu - Raph helps Leo come to terms with his guilt over their relationship (tw shame, relationship angst)

Self-Control by hummerhouse @hummerhouse - Raph doesn't want to be patient anymore, much to Leo's chagrin (tw explicit)

Chocolate by Kiraynn - Leo is the center of a mystery that Raph wants to solve

An Eggplant Among Pickles by Crowdog @50-shades-of-cloaca - The turtle brothers test each other's limits (tw explicit, dubcon)

"Raph" from I Routed a Labyrinth To Your Lap by orphan_account - Mikey gives Raph a special gift (tw explicit)

Quotes by what_should_i_post_here - Drabble collections from various turtle pairings (tw relationship angst, grief, loss, trauma, separation, explicit)

Bonsai by crabapplered - Leo works to change Donnie's role in the family, and Mikey and Raph take notice (tw explicit, grief, objectification)

You Are Shellarious by PrincessFreak - Raph has a strange reaction to his brothers' colorful language (tw sexual content)

Secondborn by SuuriSakara - Raph has his own way of dealing with Leo's return from Japan (tw explicit)

On the Fence by GoblinCatKC @goblincatkc-blog - Mikey gives Raph a very strange gift (tw extreme dubcon, sexual content)

Tmnt Exchange Art by Kitsune1818 for Caroaimezoe - Leo and Raph walk a dark path together (tw blood, injury, implied sexual content)

A Bet's a Bet by PrincessFreak - Raph owns up after losing a bet with Mikey (tw explicit, mild dubcon, homophobia, misogyny)

"Day 1 - Mikey/Raph - Rimming" from Taste Our Sins by squishyturtlefuckfics - Mikey irritates Raph by drawing things out (tw explicit)

My Good Girl (I) and My Good Girl (II) by squishyturtlefuckfics - Raph loves to play Leo's games (tw explicit, mpreg mention)

My own worst enemy by Caroaimezoe - Raph is determined to teach Leo a lesson (tw explicit, dubcon)

Kalamari by GoblinCatKC @goblincatkc-blog - Leo and Raph get very creative escaping a dangerous situation (tw sexual content, captivity, dirty jokes, threats of violence)

Notes on the Fridge by Geaven - Donnie, Raph, and their extended work things out over the fridge (tw sexual humor)

By Your Side by Kiraynn - Raph gives Leo the support he needs at Northampton (tw trauma, past violence)

Jungle Fever by Elphaba-Rose - 2007 AU where Leo and Raph end up in the jungle together and matters take a vastly different turn (tw explicit, violence, injury, savior complexes, mild dysfunction, blood, brief references to rape that doesn't involve either character)

Raphael x Leonardo drabble set by Goblin Cat KC @goblincatkc-blog - Raph tests Leo's limits after winning a late-night battle (tw mature, sexual content, possible dubcon)

story about SO3E01 by @ringingt - Leo awakens from his coma in a surprising way (tw surprise kissing, mild near-drowning)

yay! headcanons unite! by @blackdragon-sama - Headcanons about Raph being intersex; a possibly better term for this specific content might be dualsex, I'm not sure (tw sexual content, accidental voyeurism, inadvertent coming out)

come back for us by @blackdragon-sama - Raph tries to call Leo home (tw implied sexual content, mpreg, mind control)

Play Pretend by @blackdragon-sama, Elphaba-Fae - Leo and Raph try to find each other in the shadow of terrible things (tw explicit/mature, underage rape/noncon, csa, mutual dubcon, torture, emotional manipulation, painful sex, trauma, victim blaming, child abuse, blood, imprisonment)

meditation session by Spicyturtles - A comic about how Raph won't let Leo meditate in peace (tw explicit, possible dubcon)

Never Have I Ever by what_should_i_post_here - Secrets are unspooled during a drinking game (tw alcohol, implied sexual content)

30daysOTP SlashRaph by dragona15 - A collection of beautiful and steamy art (tw explicit)

Calm down. .Just Relax. by @ringingt - Raph and Leo on a rooftop (tw implied sexual content, possible dubcon)

We Care For You by Seigaku - Art where Raph's family shows him a special kind of support (tw explicit, background angst)

Mikey's first time by anomalae - The turtle family takes the virginity of one of their own (tw explicit)

luv ya bro by P-Jo Art - Comic where alcohol loosens Raph's tongue in the most awkward way (tw alcohol, underage drinking, homophobic language, possible internalized homophobia)

RRR/L by Navia - Art of a multidimensional Leoraph tryst (tw explicit)

Raph x Mike - Tight by EnclosureOfFish - Art of Mikey and Raph together (tw mature/explicit)

tmnt SxR hoboRaphau by dragona15 - Art of Raph having a highly charged encounter with Slash (tw explicit, implied homelessness)

Your argument is invalid by P-Jo Art - Comic where Raph goes to unusual lengths to get Leo to shut up (tw surprise kissing)

This art by languorous-sky - Raph and Leo mess around with rope (tw explicit, choking)

let me help you by Spicyturtles - Fan comic where Donnie gives Raph an offer in the shower (tw explicit)

Summer Home by spaze_cat - Leo and Raph come to an understanding on a trip to the seashore (tw light relationship angst, mentions of pregnancy)

kink sketches by @blackdragon-sama - Collection of Leoraph art (tw explicit)

those eggs by @blackdragon-sama - Art of Raph being disciplined and undone (tw explicit)

Beyond Our Control by SadoraNortica - The turtles get stuck in the past and have to deal with oncoming mating season (tw fears of child loss, explicit, consent issues due to heats)

Somewhat by Gemi - Raph and Donnie find their way towards perfection (tw injury)

Worth It by Kaliopeee - Leo catches Raph off guard (tw explicit)

I never had you down as... by @blackdragon-sama - Raph gets roped into the family entertainment (tw explicit, dubcon)

Close Shave by squishyturtlefuckfics - Mikey and Raph take advantage of surviving a dangerous situation (tw explicit)

Lure Rebound by Various - A magnificent Leoraph art collection (tw explicit, angst, separation, blood, dysfunctional relationships)

My Nightlight by squishyturtlefuckfics - Raph gives Mikey some much-needed comfort

Summer Blow Out Sale by Winnychan, xkingofgamesx - Donnie and Raph navigate the harrowing world of online shopping

How could he not? by ItsMickeyYouAss - Raph can't keep his eyes off of Leo

Visions: One Word Prompts by Gemma Winchester (PrincessGemma12) @princessgemma12 - A collection of 50 sentences from different AUs, with heavy Leoraph throughout (tw implied rape/noncon, implied incest, teen pregnancy, identity issues, addiction, food insecurity, animal cruelty, blood, child abuse, implied underage rape/noncon, implied csa, gun violence, trauma)

Slave by Spicyturtles - A Raph/Donnie comic with heavy BDSM (tw explicit)

The Violence in These Delights by Sundayeyes - Raph and Donnie make a discovery about what they're both capable of (tw explicit, choking)

Jinkyo by Caroaimezoe - Raph races to save his brother from an ugly transformation (tw violence, rape/noncon, consent issues, mind wipes, identity issues, possession, blood)

[title unknown] by buttmagoo and nicecentrifuge - Raph can't get away from Mikey right now, and doesn't really want to (tw sexual content, mature/explicit)

According to deviantArt, it’s buttmagoo’s birthday. by @nicecentrifugre - Some sexy art based on sexy fics I, unfortunately, haven't been able to find (tw mature explicit, discipline)

Mikey/Raph, an AU where one of them is physically a girl and the other one finds out. by @nicecentrifuge - A trans!Raph AU where Mikey stumbles onto his secret (tw menstruation, accidental outing)

Fortress by @nicecentrifuge - Raph and his brothers try to survive the end of everything they've fought for (tw torture, mutilation, rape/noncon, underage rape/noncon, abuse, emotional manipulation, unhealthy relationships, nonconsensual drug use, trauma, family dysfunction, blood and gore, medical issues, unhealthy coping mechanisms, mental health issues, possible Stockholm Syndrome, grief, trauma)

UrotsukiLeo (Half-Shell Hentai) by meh_guh for aliassmith, Cthonical (Nellie) - Raph deals with his brothers' transformation (tw explicit, dubcon)

Tonight by cndrow - Raph and Leo negotiate the moments when people is hard to come by (tw relationship angst, dysfunction)

Old Fears, New Need by orphan_account - Raph and Donnie keep each other together (tw blood, injury, sexual content)

Quality Time by Kiraynn - Leo and Raph take a few early-morning moments together (tw explicit)

Lost and Found by Kamefootninja (Kame630), NaruButt - Raph and his brothers find a long-lost sibling named Donatello (tw past rape/noncon, past csa, past sexual slavery, trauma, miscommunication, violence, grief, possible consent issues)

2012 turtles nsfw head canons by orphan_account - Includes a section with Raph (tw explicit)

This animation by Hammytoy - Raph and Mikey quite simply go for it (tw explicit)

U R Beautiful by Caroaimezoe - Raph is jealous of Leo's attention (tw explicit, knives)

Halloween party - Gift for Katii-kee by RenegadeBleat - Leo and Raph at Halloween (tw explicit)

Steel by Plastron - Donnie and Raph experiment with Raph's san (tw explicit, discussions of violence)

Warm by DashWrites for Sakycchan - Leo needs Raph's help to deal with the chill (tw explicit, mpreg)

Claiming and being Claimed by DarkxKitsune - Raph and Mikey need some help with their heats (tw explicit, mild dubcon due to heats)

"Young Lovers With Their Legs Tied Up In Knots" from My Ghost, Where'd You Go? by Gemma Winchester (PrincessGemma12), PrincessGemma12 @princessgemma12 - Raph and Leo explore the occult and a hayloft (tw explicit, shame)

Is This Where You Want To Be? by PrincessGemma12 @princessgemma12 for This_world_of_beautiful_monsters - Westworld AU where Raph visits a brothel and has a strange encounter (tw dehumanization, possible consent issues, discussions of fetishization, objectification, explicit)

Auto-Robotic-Erotic 2: Electric Boogaloo by squishyturtlefuckfics - Raph learns one of Donnie's more peculiar secrets (tw explicit)

Kissed By The Whip by Lisa_Frank - For once, Raph wants Leo to control him (tw explicit)

Natural Sub by GoblinCatKC @goblincatkc-blog - Raph and his brothers discover Leo's secret (tw explicit, discussions of dubcon but consent is strong here)

OT4 by Queen_B - A sweet, steamy series about Raph and his brothers (tw explicit)

Aphrodisia by Kiraynn - Leo is a scion of the Foot Clan, and Raph can't look away (tw violence, explicit)

Art by FaRaDo-Age - Raph and Donnie with some new getup (tw sexual content, mature)

Inspired by the dream I had last night. by nei-ning - Raph seeks comfort from Leo after a bad dream (tw nightmares)

and maybe it'll be clear when we get there by @leonsi leones for This_world_of_beautiful_monsters - A collection of polyamory-themed stories, a lot of them including Raph; specific pairings are in the summary they were angelic enough to create (tw past abuse, self-harm, trauma, migraines, self-doubt, secret relationships, implied rape/noncon, implied csa, mental health issues/illness, vomiting, insecurity, self-hatred)

Colors by PrincessGemma12 @princessgemma12 - Multiamory March about a TMNT OT8 of Raph, Leo, Donnie, Mikey, Casey, Karai, April, and Shini (tw implied rape/noncon, pregnancy scares, implied violence, teen pregnancy, unplanned pregnancy, parent/child incest, csa, underage rape/noncon, abortion)

Walk Me Home by DarkxKitsune - Mikey trades letters with a prisoner (tw jail, discussions of molestation, potentially unhealthy relationships)

Raph is a Femboy by PrincessFreak - Raph's family discovers his secret (tw outing, dubcon, humiliation)

Call Me By Your Name by PrincessGemma12 @princessgemma12 - Leo and Raph try to figure out a mind swap (tw explicit, self-esteem issues)

I Keep Telling Myself This Might Be Nothing by PrincessGemma12 @princessgemma12 - Raph and his family stumble into a relationship (cw underage/underage sex, underage masturbation; tw identity issues, shame, loneliness, relationship difficulties)

This by Anonymous - Raph struggles not to be jealous, but Mikey makes it nearly impossible (tw possessive behavior, jealousy, potentially unhealthy)

“i was an island / before you came along.” - I Was an Island, John-Allison Weiss by lonescove - A magnificent art piece about Leo and Raph (tw implied sexual content)

Cliché (it was too late for me) by leones @leonsi - Story with Leo/April focus, but strong background Raph/Donnie (tw mild homophobia, speciesm, trauma, eating disorders, anxiety)

Did somebody say threesome? No? Oh well. 2007!Leo, 2012!Leo and 2007!Raph <3 by reosexuals - A multiverse-spanning art piece (tw explicit)

it's not revolutionary by leones @leonsi - Raph does his best to support the turtle he loves (tw mentions of self-harm, self-hatred)

Almost Home by cndrow - Raph and Donnie make up for lost time (tw explicit, implied character death, separation, grief, trauma, stress)

Cussing fetish? by RiusTcestCave - Comic about Raph's unusual kink (tw explicit)

Just Practice by ninjazure - A comic about Leo and Raph's attempt to practice kissing, and how it slips out of control (tw implied sexual content, accidental voyeurism)

Art by nise - Leo and Raph share a kiss

Art by えんらい - Raph and Leo in bed together (tw explicit)

Art by ８２ - Raph and Leo celebrate Halloween

Art by ninjazure - Leo taking Raph apart (tw blood, sharp objects, very explicit)

Yeahh, have some tcest on flying pillows~ by sakycchan - Leo and Raph give Donnie some tender love (tw implied sexual content)

The Benefits of Not Shutting the Fuck Up by Floozdooz @floozdooz - Donnie is determined to shut Raph up (tw underage/underage, explicit, dubcon)

Raphael / Donatello tcest by cndrow - A series of stories about the genius and the brawler (tw explicit)

Strange Little Shadows by This_world_of_beautiful_monsters - 50 sentences about Karai, Raph, and Leo (tw implied sexual content, mind control, injury, choking, trauma, major character death, grief)

The things that we could be by This_world_of_beautiful_monsters - Leo, Raph, and Karai camp out under the stars (tw explicit)

"But I'm brighter when you make me fade" from Red-Light District by This_world_of_beautiful_monsters - Leo and Raph have their own ways of connecting as a couple (tw explicit, BDSM)

"Dance with me (Mon amour)" from The House Of The Rising Sun by This_world_of_beautiful_monsters - Mikey is a born showman and Raph is just along for the ride (tw explicit)

Say you'll never let me go by This_world_of_beautiful_monsters - Donnie and Raph comfort Casey during his period (tw mild dysphoria, explicit, menstruation, pain)

"The Confession" from sweet creature (we're running through the garden) by This_world_of_beautiful_monsters - Raph lets something slip during a squabble with Leo (tw canon-typical violence)

"Teddy Bears" from sweet creature (we're running through the garden) by This_world_of_beautiful_monsters - Raph and Mikey go bear hunting at the carnival

"Grey Memorial" from i'm bitter (you're still in my head) by This_world_of_beautiful_monsters - Raph comes to terms with his feelings for Leo far too late (tw grief, major character death, heartbreak, suicide attempt)

"The Embrace" from spice up your life (who would want anything else?) by This_world_of_beautiful_monsters - Raph gets creative making Donnie take a break (tw implied sexual content)

"Fluffy Cuffs" from spice up your life (who would want anything else?) by This_world_of_beautiful_monsters - Raph is tempted into letting Mikey take over for a while (tw mature/explicit)

Ripples In Dark Water by This_world_of_beautiful_monsters - A poem about Raph and his brothers, based on Casting Stones at the River by GoblinCatKC (tw violence)

"my eyes are glazed, 'cause they dug my grave" from you say I'm callous and I'm numb by This_world_of_beautiful_monsters - Raph struggles with all of the things he can't control after Leo's abduction (tw implied csa, implied underage rape/noncon, self-loathing, guilt, trauma, helplessness, violence, mind control)

wave your hands in the air if you feel fine by This_world_of_beautiful_monsters for PrincessGemma12 - The Hamato family celebrated living another day (tw implied past abuse, past violence)

under the water i'll be sharpening my knife by This_world_of_beautiful_monsters - Murder on the Orient Express through a lens of TMNT and polyamory (tw violence, blood and gore, revenge)

come on, come around (i've been feeling down) by This_world_of_beautiful_monsters - The kids who survived the apocalypse finds their relationships changed in the aftermath (tw trauma, apocalypse, guilt, grief, implied sexual content, mental health issues)

light in the crack that's separating your thighs by This_world_of_beautiful_monsters - Raph, Mikey, and Donnie express their affection for Leo (tw explicit)

i promise that you'll breathe again by This_world_of_beautiful_monsters - SAINW AU where Leo, Raph, and Mikey deal with the fact of surviving (tw alcohol, implied sexual content, trauma, past alcoholism)

feeling like a boulder hurtling by This_world_of_beautiful_monsters - The Foot's newest warrior has particular trouble with two enemies (tw violence, rape/noncon, mind control, emotional manipulation, identity issues)

gonna pop some tags by This_world_of_beautiful_monsters - Brothers and lovers through the lens of thrifting (tw implied sexual content, trauma)

there is love inside this madness (we are walking on the moon) by This_world_of_beautiful_monsters - After leaving their timeline, Raph and his family have to forge new lives together (tw memory issues, identity issues, sexual content, grief)

just gettin' started, don't you tiptoe, tiptoe (ah) by This_world_of_beautiful_monsters - Raph and Usagi take Leo apart (tw explicit)

we'll pass it on to you, we'll give the world to you by This_world_of_beautiful_monsters - Four brothers write letters to their daughter (tw surprise parenting, implied sexual content, implied medical experimentation, grief, sick kids, trauma)

"Red (Life)" from Kaleidoscope Snapshots by This_world_of_beautiful_monsters - Casey and Raph try to reorient themselves after a close call (tw blood and gore, injury, past violence)

calling all the monsters - A modern AU with the Hamato family starring as a collection of queer horrors (tw bigotry, implied violence, implied torture, implied bigotry, unreliable narrator for the second, implied abuse, implied sexual content)

the music fills me good and it gets me every time by This_world_of_beautiful_monsters - A-spec!Donnie finds his place in his brother's relationship (tw explicit)

i'll be there to hold you (don't be afraid of the dark) by This_world_of_beautiful_monsters - A series about Casey and the monsters who live in his skin (tw possession, explicit, dubocn, sexual content, mpreg, past suicidal thoughts, past abuse, violence, gore, potentially unhealthy relationships)

i don't like anyone better than you, it's true by This_world_of_beautiful_monsters - Raph, Casey, and Donnie deal with the fallout from an encounter with unusual flora in the woods (tw explicit, dubcon due to sex pollen)

i've been searching all night (light the fuse and let me take flight) by This_world_of_beautiful_monsters for braeburns - Raph and Mikey deals with changes good and bad as they wreak a little havoc on the streets of New York (tw explosions, post Roe V. Wade life, implied sexual content)

green hearts raw and beating by This_world_of_beautiful_monsters - A story about the beings who live in the woods beyond a small town (tw implied violence, implied rape/noncon not involving main characters, mentions of abortion, mentioned nonconsensual bodily modification of a bad guy, curses)

just want a way of keeping you inside by This_world_of_beautiful_monsters - A polyamorous love story written in tattoos (tw implied sexual content, sexual content, past abuse, trauma)

darling, are you ready for more? by This_world_of_beautiful_monsters for PrincessGemma12 - Kinktober drabbles about Leo and Raph (tw explicit, insecurity, trauma, flashbacks)

[thebrownssociety]

Hi Roxy! I, L, T and Z

I - Has tumblr caused you to stop liking any fandoms, if so, which and why

Not really. When I first joined Tumblr it was to look at Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles stuff but I didn’t realise there was discussion around which incarnations were the best ext. I’ve not stopped liking the show, but I don’t really look at TMNT stuff anymore.

L - Say something genuinely nice about a character who isn’t one of your faves (chars you’re neutral on are fair game, as are chars you dislike)

So...I’ll go with Tweety. It might sound a weird thing to say seeing as I think there’s zero evidence for this, but I believe he has a very good sense of style and fashion and is also very self-confident which I like. I also personally like how he always seem to be one step ahead of the game in regards to everything. 

T - Do you have any hard and fast headcanons that you will die defending, about anything at all (gender identity, sexual or romantic orientation, extended family, sexual preferences like top/bottom/switch, relationship with poetry, seriously anything)

So if you’ve been following/looking at my blog you’ll know that I headcanon Elmer as gay. Don’t see that changing anytime soon. 

Switching fandoms completely I see Donatello [TMNT] as on the Autistic  spectrum. Michelangelo I also see as having ADHD. 

Z - Just ramble about something fan-related, go go go (prompts optional but encouraged)

So after getting clarification about what this actually means [I.E. talk about anything related to a fandom] I’m going with this:

In order to help with Elmer’s sleepwalking [developed after WW2] and in order to make it so Bugs and the other Looneys don’t have to constantly look after him and watch him every night, Scratchy has asked ’flat-out-told Warner Bros they needed to intervene. So they designed Elmer a dog, like an assistant dog, in order to specifically help him with sleepwalking. By that I mean the dog is with him constantly when he sleepwalks and does things like opening doors for him so he doesn’t smack into them [Bugs’s job before] and just generally making sure he doesn't get into to many scrapes. 

The dog is designed to look like a ‘Golden Retriever’ and she is called ‘Honey’ [Elmer chose the name]

Elmyra adores the dog and hugs her whenever she sees her. [Honey has been designed to tolerate hugging because what with Elmer having 3 kids and working in a school it was necessary]

During the day Honey either sleeps [she still needs 4 hours of sleep like any other toon] or helps Elmer some more depending on how bad he’s feeling during the day and circumstances but her role is greatly reduced during the working day. 

Anyway...I feel I’ve rambled enough about this vague idea I’m still working on, but if anyone has any questions feel free to ask!

[desperatelyseekingroleplay]

Name: Elana

Age: 23

Timezone: Currently Eastern USA will be moving GMT+3 in August

Pronouns: She/Her

  My Writing Style: I write in third person novel format. I typically write multi-para with the occasional novella when the muse strikes or it just happens. I write all genders and sexualities, but what I will not do is only write a male character or m/m. I love to create large character casts instead of just one or two characters. I’m pretty open-minded and prefer to discuss limitations in private, as they change depending on how comfortable I am with my co-writer. I respond as often as possible. I work 12 hours a day four days a week, but I’ll try to reply on my days of and at least once during my work days if I can. I get VERY into my characters and the stories, so I love to make playlists, pinterest boards, etc. I also love talking ooc and am very friendly!

  I write both ocs and canon characters.

  Looking for: Someone who writes third person novel format, multi-para or more, and won’t only write m/m relationships or won’t double for me. Please be 21+ it gets uncomfortable writing with people under 21 at times. Don’t leave me to play all the canon characters by myself please I beg.

  Fandoms:

DC Comics

DC Animated Universe (Justice League, Batman Animated, Teen Titans, Static Shock)

TMNT (more based off the 2003 cartoon and not the newer cartoons or movies)

Gotham

Riverdale

Game Of Thrones (specifically for a Dothraki Khaleesi w/w pairing. Primarily OC based rp)

Naruto (preferably heavily oc based)

  Originals

Superheroes! Anything with superpowers I love

Supernatural Mafia

Superpower mafia

Fantasy world

Pirates

Real Life but dramatic (all ocs)

  Contact:

squidcurls@gmail.com

[scuiddycurl]

RP PARTNER SEARCH

Hi everyone! I’m Elana!

Age: 22

Gender/Pronouns: Female She/Her

Timezone: USA East Coast

About Me: I recently graduated and am on the job hunt! Looking for something to do to help pass the time and de-stress while I hunt 😊 I write third person multi-para novel format. I occasionally will write novella replies, but that’s when inspiration hits and I don’t expect that in return! I love to create oc’s, and I think the more oc’s the merrier! I am willing to play any gender and sexuality, but not just m//m. Yaoi plots turn really quickly into fetishizing and I’m not here for that. I love writing m//m plots, just as long as they have real substance and aren’t just about the fact they’re two guys into each other! I’m really chill, upbeat, and fun. I Love to discuss different plots and au’s, and often will look for music, videos, and pinterest photos for inspiration. I love changing up canon and making new headcanons to fit the rp. World building is my fave! I also treat my writing partners as actual friends, so talking ooc is big to me! I don’t mind if you up and disappear. I might check in, but I get it. I also don’t mind if you leave for a bit and come back a while later. It happens!

 What I’m Looking for in a Partner: It is a MUST to me that my writing partner is 21+. This is the most important thing to me. I like intense, sensitive, and mature themes. I will not write these with someone who is not 21 or older. Please tell me your age in your email to me. Please write multi-para for the most part. I get that writers block happens and sometimes a paragraph is all you can do! In action scenes I don’t expect as much since things are going so quickly. I do like descriptions though. I don’t really like to fade to black so much and would prefer the same, but I also don’t expect sexual themes 😊

I LOVE pairing oc’s together. In fact, I actually prefer it! When I say I love OC led roleplays, I mean I LOVE oc led roleplays.

I’d prefer if oc’s weren’t related to canon characters.

  Fandoms: (In all the fandoms where there could be romance, I play everyone 18)

TMNT

BNHA – I REALLY want to do this verse. I play UA as a college instead of a highschool 😊 Honestly they look like college students to begin with haha

Outsiders (based on the book, but with Dally and Johnny surviving because I love them)

Justice League Unlimited

Pretty Little Liars

Game of Thrones (Looking for someone to play either an oc Dothraki Khal -or hell, make it a khaleesi cause I’m gay. Or Dany and Drogo for my oc 😊 )

Riverdale (Looking for a Fangs or oc to pair with my oc)

Supernatural (I have a lesbian oc I would love to pair with another oc!)

Degrassi Eli/Claire/Adam/Ali generation (I have an oc I want to put with Eli)

 Originals:

Supernatural Mafia

Feudal Japan (with demons)

Fantasy world rp (sort of high fantasy styled, but it doesn’t have to be set in Europe or can be an entirely fictional world)

Normal people slice of life drama (really heavy oc run. We make families and kids and adults. Parents, college students, etc. And just write their lives. Can be as intense or light-hearted as we want)

  How to reach me:

reach out to me here and I’ll give you my email!

[fyrapartnersearch]

Name: Elana

Age: 23

Timezone: Currently Eastern USA will be moving GMT+3 in August

Pronouns: She/Her

  My Writing Style: I write in third person novel format. I typically write multi-para with the occasional novella when the muse strikes or it just happens. I write all genders and sexualities, but what I will not do is only write a male character or m/m. I love to create large character casts instead of just one or two characters. I’m pretty open-minded and prefer to discuss limitations in private, as they change depending on how comfortable I am with my co-writer. I respond as often as possible. I work 12 hours a day four days a week, but I’ll try to reply on my days of and at least once during my work days if I can. I get VERY into my characters and the stories, so I love to make playlists, pinterest boards, etc. I also love talking ooc and am very friendly!

  I write both ocs and canon characters.

  Looking for: Someone who writes third person novel format, multi-para or more, and won’t only write m/m relationships or won’t double for me. Please be 21+ it gets uncomfortable writing with people under 21 at times. Don’t leave me to play all the canon characters by myself please I beg.

  Fandoms:

DC Comics

DC Animated Universe (Justice League, Batman Animated, Teen Titans, Static Shock)

TMNT (more based off the 2003 cartoon and not the newer cartoons or movies)

Gotham

Riverdale

Game Of Thrones (specifically for a Dothraki Khaleesi w/w pairing. Primarily OC based rp)

Naruto (preferably heavily oc based)

  Originals

Superheroes! Anything with superpowers I love

Supernatural Mafia

Superpower mafia

Fantasy world

Pirates

Real Life but dramatic (all ocs)

  Contact:

squidcurls@gmail.com

[akacomicsonline]

Having whetted your appetites with the pics below, here's the links to book tickets for the events:

Eventbrite Details for WEWARL 2022 (Will Eisner Week at Renfrewshire Libraries) All events will take place in Paisley Central Library

Eventbrite collection of all 5 events

https://www.eventbrite.com/cc/wewarl-2022-134029

28/02/2022 – 7-8pm

2000ad's Steve McManus in discussion with Comic Historian John McShane

https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/2000ads-steve-mcmanus-in-discussion-with-comic-historian-john-mcshane-tickets-257835923187

Steve McManus was the editor of 2000AD during some of it's golden years from 1979 to1987. He is also the author of the book 'The Mighty One' detailing his time at 2000ad as well as the anthology comic title 'Blazer', both of which will be for sale at this event.

John McShane is the co-founder of aka Books & Comics in Glasgow as well as publishing the acclaimed fanzine 'aka' - now available online.

This event is part of Renfrewshire Libraries' Will Eisner Week celebrations for 2022.

01/03/2022 – 7-8pm

Comic artist Tanya Roberts in discussion with Comic Historian John McShane

https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/comic-artist-tanya-roberts-in-discussion-with-comic-historian-john-mcshane-tickets-257836494897

Tanya Roberts is a comic book artist who has worked on licensed titles such as Star Wars, Trollhunters, TMNT and Toy Story.

She also has a publishing company with her husband called ‘Bluebottle ink’ with which they bring out independent titles such as ‘Abeyance’, ‘Wynding Downe’ and ‘Unfinished Business’.

John McShane is the co-founder of aka Books & Comics in Glasgow as well as publishing the acclaimed fanzine 'aka' - now available online.

This event is part of Renfrewshire Libraries' Will Eisner Week celebrations.

02/03/2022 – 7-8pm

Jim Stewart (Ganjaman creator) in discussion with John McShane - (16+ only)

https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/jim-stewart-ganjaman-creator-in-discussion-with-john-mcshane-16-only-tickets-257836825887

From Glasgow, Scotland, Jim is a self-taught artist and cartoonist who has been drawing commercially for over 27 years.

Best known as the creator of underground superhero Ganjaman and as a founding co-creator of Northern Lightz; his comic strips are featured in Soft Secrets and have been translated into 8 languages. Jim’s self-published editions of Ganjaman Presents feature not just his creative talents, but the writing of both veterans (Alan Grant and John Wagner, to name but a couple) and newcomers to the UG scene.

Jim will be bringing copies of some of his comics to sell (and sign) at this event.

John McShane is the co-founder of aka Books & Comics in Glasgow as well as publishing the acclaimed fanzine 'aka' - now available online.

Please note that this event is for 16+ attendees only.

This event is part of Renfrewshire Libraries' Will Eisner Week celebrations.

03/03/2022 – 7-8pm

An Introduction to Zine-Making with Jules Scheele

https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/an-introduction-to-zine-making-with-jules-scheele-tickets-257837848947

In the workshop Jules will talk briefly about the history of zine making and show some examples of zines, before helping attendees to create their own mini-zines!

This event is for ages 14+.

Jules Scheele is a freelance illustrator based in Glasgow who specialises in graphic storytelling and illustrations that help translate and bring a human touch to difficult concepts. Their published work includes the Queer, Gender and Sexuality Graphic Guides with Meg-John Barker from ICON Books and Release The Beast: A Drag Queen's Guide To Life by Bimini Bon Boulash from Penguin.

This event is part of Renfrewshire Libraries' Will Eisner Week celebrations.

05/03/2022 – 10-11am

Comic Blastarooni! - Comic workshop with illustrator Mandy Sinclair

https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/comic-blastarooni-comic-workshop-with-illustrator-mandy-sinclair-tickets-263667575817

Comic Blastarooni!

Find that comic character! A whacky comic workshop, that will release that character out of your brainbox, via your pesky pencil. Which is where those crazy characters usually get stuck! and with Mandy as your guide, you’ll Blastarooni that comic strip in no time!

This event is aimed at young people aged between 8 and 14 years of age.

Mandy Sinclair’s illustrations have been published in many books by, among others, Luath, Hodder and The National Trust for Scotland. She has presented workshops and programmes for many authorities around Scotland.

Graphic novel workshop projects include - Renfrewshire Leisure’s Project Z, Glasgowlife, and Create Paisley.

Mandy will be working on her own graphic novel later this year - along with two picture books.

This event is part of Renfrewshire Libraries' Will Eisner Week celebrations.

[sugirandom]

365 days of writing: day 131

Day 131: Passion

               This day went by pretty fast. I met with my new Japanese Conversation partner on Skype this morning and she’s a very nice person and was understanding even though my connection was very horrible on our call. She said I knew more Japanese than she expected so she was pretty impressed. I also complemented her on her English and we talked mostly about our pets and some about family life. After that I spent some time watching my watch later queue on youtube and then got ready to head out with the employment resource lady. We went to the Social Security office and filled to get my name and gender updated. We talked to this woman wearing TMNT pants while we were waiting. I just complimented her on her pants and wasn’t expecting the three of us to get involved in a conversation lol.

               I didn’t have to wait that long and the process was less painful than I thought it would be so I’m very happy to have gotten that done. Now I just have to wait two weeks for it to come in the mail. The only thing left after that is to change my state I.D. and then I’ll be able to change my name on my cards, bank accounts, work, etc.  It does feel good to make progress even though I don’t get too much time to relax before dinner. I did watch two episodes of Dragon Ball and I’ll try but I don’t think I’ll be able to finish my watch later queue on youtube today. In this episode they found the pirate treasure they were looking for and now they just have to fight General Blue and find the Dragon Ball. They did basically reveal General Blue to be gay, if it wasn’t already blatantly obvious enough. It’s not the best way of treating the issue, I’ve probably discussed how even presently Anime does tend to put LGBT characters in villain roles. It’s always been a big mixed bag for me because I tend to like said villains half the time despite this being a really bad thing to have especially in an Anime boys watched…

               I believe they referred to him as an Okama (sp?)…which if I understand the term correctly is like a really feminine gay guy. I mean I honestly do feel like it was a little funny how Bulma got attracted to him before realizing he was gay, then forgot a minute later and tried to save herself by using her feminine charm. It makes me wonder just how many times she used her appeal to get out of dangerous situations with men and I went from being amused to disturbed just now. I’m going to move on to a different subject now. Let me just say that I do hope one day we can see good LGBT representation in a mainstream Anime. I don’t really feel like we have that much presently…I mean I do think it seems like a far off dream for it to happen in a mainstream Shounen or Shoujo Anime (other than the titles that are geared towards a specific crowd) but it’s a nice thought anyway.

               Poppy ended up staying at the beach another night and she’s planning to come home tonight. I just don’t have any idea of what time she plans on coming home so I’ll probably end up cooking one of our home chef meals alone again. Alas, one day we’ll cook them together again but that day seems more distant than I’d like.  Mom and dad changed the day to go to the buffet in PA to tomorrow. I have an appointment to get my chest looked at tomorrow. Just a standard post-op to see how my healing from my chest surgery is going. I’m not jumping for joy about having to go far away after that appointment and needing to eat a snack in the car but they want to celebrate mother’s day tomorrow so I guess I can at least get it over with but having two of my days off cut in half by stuff is not fun. Next week or so I’m going back to working three days too. Oh well, I guess when I’m healing from my surgery I’ll have more time than I want…assuming I won’t be high on pain killers lol.

               In other news I looked at Natasha’s FB profile just to see what she was up to and apparently she’s already gotten herself a boyfriend. This is what…a week after we agreed to be friends because it was too painful for her to think about me going to Japan. I had a feeling she would get along just fine without me since she was posting inappropriate pictures on FB. Oh well, it’s for the best because even though she’s sweet in the end we’re just too different anyway if what I’ve seen on her FB page is any indication. So yeah that’s great news for all the sexy single men and women who are into me. Ha ha…I try to laugh.

Speaking of which I’m going to get into a kinda personal thing I just wanted to discuss. Some people might think this is TMI so if it starts to get that way for you just pretend my entry ended with the last paragraph (it’s probably not even that bad). I initially worried that I might somehow get less passionate after being on testosterone but I’ve actually found the opposite seems to be true. Like I have more passion for what I love and things are touching me more. Sure, I’ve noticed I seem to look at things in a more sensual way as well but not in a primitive just needing to satisfy sexual urges way…just a sort of…appreciating things more? Like I appreciate my writing and singing more and I appreciate my favorite characters more too (sorry I’m such a nerd who is more attracted to fictional characters than real people at times). I’m wondering if it has to do with the fact that despite still getting into my darker moods I’m happier overall. Like, if depression can suck your interests out of you then I’m experiencing the opposite of that because I’m happier. It’s certainly a good thing I think, I want to be able to truly enjoy my life and the things I have a passion for so it’s nice that I’m moving in that direction and I just hope it keeps going up from here. I’m sorry if that didn’t make any sense. I’m not going to watch any LoI today because I don’t want to ruin the good mood I’m in and I know it’s hit or miss with that Anime…

[pw-wp]

FAN ART: Weird subculture or Natural offshoot of Graphic Design?

IMAGE: Examples of fan art from the Deviant Art website.

My work often takes me to the hallowed halls of convention centers and community centers for annual gatherings of image makers of all stripes and their fans. These conventions, or “Cons”, be comic, horror, or video game themed, but one thing seems to be universal about them: Fan Art.

IMAGE: The fan-art-made-good example of Fiona the human and Cake the Cat from the Adventure Time cartoon series.

Fan Art is, essentially, art created by a fan-base centered around a specific property, actor, story, etc. It fulfills several purposes, from practicing art-making, community building, and, in some controversial cases (like most Cons one could attend), for profit. PBS’s Off Book program has explored how fan art is something that transcends media, stretching from graphic design to illustration and beyond (Brown, 2012). In some cases it can even influence the original product, as in the case of Adventure Time’s gender-swapped characters Fiona the Human and Cake the Cat (gender-swapped fan art creations of series leads Finn the Human and Jake the Dog). These characters proved so popular that series producer Fred Seibert greenlit an episode starring the duo (Brown, 2012). This is a grand example of fan art, but with the ocean of other offerings in the realm via online homes like Threadless, DeviantArt, and Mondo (at varying levels of quality and legality) and the recent experience of walking through mountains of fan art at a Wizard World Convention, I thought it might be a fine idea to look at the genesis of this subset of art.

Commissioned Beginnings

IMAGE: Top Row: Mythical figures drawn by Hokusai, Bottom Row: A selection of Mucha’s posters of Sarah Bernhardt.

Like much art, the term fan art is subjective. For example, if we consider religions to be organizations and gatherings of fans, why, we have fan art going back to ancient times of religious figures. Maybe the Venus of Willendorf had her own comic book. These images extend up to today, outside of Islam, anyway, and I don’t have years to write a single blog post, so we will narrow our scope a bit. Perhaps the best look at the origins of fan art can be traced back to the same beginnings, we ascribe to modern graphic design. I’m speaking, of course, about posters and Japanese ink prints.

Meggs notes that some of the early Japanese ukiyo-e woodblock prints that made their way over to Europe depicted Kabuki actors (p. 196, 2012). While the context is lost to many viewers today, these images functioned the same way as movie posters of actors function today. This is essentially the legit version of fan art- advertising art that is usually commissioned by the rights holder. It was not limited to just actors: like the posters of Superman or Wonder Woman on your kid’s wall, artists like Hokusai produced prints representing heroic warriors like Yoshitsune (Bouquillard and Marquet, pp.151-152, 2007)  It did not take Europe long to pick up on this trend, either.

Artists like Mucha and Toulouse-Lautrec immediately spring to mind. Ulmer writes about how Mucha practically produced a sub-genre of Sara Berndhart posters in the late 19th century, when the actress contracted him exclusively to produce the now immortal prints (p.8, 2007). It would not long before professional image makers like Mucha found themselves joined by amateurs as well, and not just in the schoolbooks of aspiring artists.

SKYGACK and the Beginnings of Cosplay

IMAGE: Original comic image and homemade costume of Skygack the visitor from Mars.

Innovations in printing lead to an image explosion around the turn of the twentieth century. Along with adverts, newspapers helped launch the comic strip, a medium that has since branched into the multi-billion dollar businesses of animation, comic books and films. It’s fitting then, since thousands dress up as Batman and Spiderman every year, that one of the earliest documented examples of fan art would concern cosplay (the dressing up as) a comic strip character.

According to Ron Miller, Mr. Skygack was the creation of cartoonist A. D. Condo and was essentially a fish-out-of-water gag wrapped up as a visitor from Mars (2013). The character proved so popular that Plunkett notes fans started to make costumes of the Martian for city events and parties (2016). Apparently it was such a big trend that the newspapers picked up on it, so we have visual evidence of it, over a hundred years later. While the creepy looking fellow is something of a footnote now, Skygack deserves at least a plaque in the inevitable fan art hall of fame as a pioneer in the field. While this fellow was all laughs and harmless fun, there is also seedier side to fan art, so much so that the label may not even be properly applied.

TIJUANA BIBLES and Selling under the Table!

Image: Safe for work covers of Tijuana Bibles.

Now comes probably the most controversial subsection of fan art: erotic fan art. No, there won’t be any NSFW images presented here, but it is fascinating to examine this subsection, considering it is most associated with Rule 34 of the Internet today.Rule 34, of course, is, as Dewey writes, “If it exists, or can be imagined, there is Internet porn of it” (2016). Like the pioneering days of film, video and art itself (exhibit A: The Venus of Willendorf, of comic book fame), fan art’s less discussed and notorius subset has a history dating back decades. Tijuana Bibles, sometimes referred to as bluesies or eight pagers were illicit, cheaply printed little tracts depicting your great grandpa’s favorite cartoon characters in sexually explicit situations.

These illegal little books were sold under the counter and included scandalous adventures being pursued by Popeye, Blondie, and even Mickey Mouse. While the quality for most is lacking, some actually include some fine draftmanship, enough so that places like Duke University have collections of the little deviants(David M. Rubenstein Rare Book & Manuscript Library, 2017). They served as an income source for many artists in the same way that illicit images produced on the internet are sometimes produced for profit. Indeed, they could even be used as stepping stones to “legitimate” careers. Faraci writes about how the initial Bazooka Joe (of gum comic fame) artist, Wesley Morse, got the nod from producing Tijuana Bibles (2012). The legacy of these little things extends out to today, and beyond just visual art. After all, we are all suffering through Fifty Shades of Grey movies thanks to written erotic fan fiction writing based on the Twilight series. One wishes the artists of the original Tijuana Bibles could have gotten a piece of that pie!

Beyond this somewhat seedy side of the fan art universe, not much of note has lasted the years between the early 20th century up to around the 1980s, outside the fantastic riffs of MAD magazine and the extreme world of Underground Comix in general, there is a style of fan art that is worth noting.

Before they were Pros: Fan art by Superstars when they were Young

IMAGE: The evolving skill of painter Alex Ross, as seen through his love of comic books.

Everyone has to get started somewhere. As Brown notes, oftentimes fan art is used as a way to practice the craft while having a guidepost and not needing the time to make new ideas (2012). This certainly makes sense. Even the author of this blogpost got his start from drawing horrendous Mickey Mouse doodles. The recent influx of artist books in the marketplace also provide the proverbial proof to the pudding.

Alex Ross is known far and wide for his painted depictions of superheroes. A collection of his work for DC comics shows that the man has been steeped in his subject matter for years (Kidd, 2005). His early drawings are certainly crude (he was, after all, five years old) but his efforts certainly pay off over time as his work gets better and better. He moves from doing fan art to inspired original characters, building his skill level over time before getting to college and mastering painting (pp. 21-28). Like many other comics artists, Ross does not appear out of a stump- he starts by emulating things he enjoys and grows into his own style and artwork. He is not alone in this- one particularly famous quartet of terrapins owe a lot to fan art and fandom in general

IMAGE: From left to Right: The work of Jack Kirby, Frank Miller and Eastman and Laird.

Kevin Eastman and Peter Laird have been very open about the inspiration that creators Frank Miller, Jack Kirby, and the character of Daredevil from Marvel Comics provided them in creating the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Farago writes about how both were inspired by artist/writers Jack Kirby and Frank Miller (p. 20, 2014). These inspirations, swirling about in the indie-publishing scene of the 1980s, were given manifest presentation in the first issue of the Ninja Turtles, which blatantly presents the heroes sharing an origin story with Daredevil (Farago, p. 20, 2014)- at the time being brought to new prominence by Miller. The fact that the comic book is dedicated to Kirby and Miller helps seal the deal.

The themes and art style of the early TMNT books has a healthy blend of Kirby dynamism and Miller inking techniques from that time. While not strictly an exercise in fan art, Eastman and Laird’s admitted admiration for the two other creators helped shaped one of the most dynamic franchises of the last thirty years. Like with Ross, the fruit of this labor shows the benefits of early, devoted fan hood combined with art making.

The Good, the Bad, and the Interesting Controversy

So we’ve seen a ton of interesting sides to this whole fan art thing. The good side has been expounded upon, along with the seedy seed, but what about the bad side? Well, the last bit of this blogpost will take a look at that and some of the controversy involved. Specifically, the copyright infringing, convention engulfing controversial side of the issue.

The culture news site Bleeding Cool has done fairly extensive reporting on the issue of rampant fan art at comic conventions. They have noted the uptick of giant collections of fan art that keep showing up at these fan gatherings, and how much these collections irk some practicing artists, who may rely on licensed image reproduction of everyone’s favorite superheroes to supplement their income in a tough business. One artist, Aldrin Aw,, was so frustrated at a  particular vendor selling “fan art” (which here mostly related to copying original art and adding digital effects) that he hounded him out of the convention (Johnston, May 2016). He also went out of his way publicly shame the “fan” artist on social media. The growing conversation around the fan art and bootlegging at conventions has also lead to greater efforts at explaining the legal repercussions of selling another person’s intellectual property throughout the community. Seth C. Polansky, a lawyer specializing in art and IP issues points out that much of what we consider “fan art” is, in a strict sense, illegal (Johnston, June 2016). That’s certainly a downer for a growing artistic subculture.

Thus, we find ourselves at a crossroads. A long-running subset of image making and artistic development that’s struggling to find a balance between a passionate hobby and legitimate money-making venture that crosses many redlines in the legal sense. Perhaps the best balance is seen in the work of studios like Mondo and Gallery Nucleus. Both offer a variety of fan art paintings and other works, but they are licensed. Unlike sites like Deviantart, much of this work is invited and functions in the same way as the commissions of Kabuki art cited above. Things have gone full circle, in effect.

Regardless of the many issues involved, fan art is something here to stay, and it has a pedigree. It will be quite interesting to see just how far it spreads in the future.

Sources for this writing include:

Bouquillard, J., & Marquet, C. (2007). Divinities, warriors, and legendary figures. In C. Henard (Ed.), Hokusai: first manga master (pp.145-157). New York: Abrams.

Brown, K. (2012, May 3). Fan Art [Video file]. Retrieved from http://www.pbs.org/video/off-book-fan-art-creativity/

David M. Rubenstein Rare Book & Manuscript Library. (2012).Guide to the tijuana bibles collection, 1930-1998 [Data file]. Retrieved from https://library.duke.edu/rubenstein/findingaids/tijuanabibles/#historicalnote

Dewey, C. (2016, April 6). Is rule 34 actually true?: An investigation into the internet’s most risque law. The Washington Post. Retrieved from https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/the-intersect/wp/2016/04/06/is-rule-34-actually-true-an-investigation-into-the-internets-most-risque-law/?utm_term=.eed623bc895e

Faraci, D. (2012, July 25). Tijuana bibles from wesley morse, creator of bazooka joe (NSFW). Birth.Movies.Death.. Retrieved from http://birthmoviesdeath.com/2012/07/25/tijuana-bibles-from-wesley-morse-creator-of-bazooka-joe-nsfw

Farago, A. (2014). Teenage mutant ninja turtles: The ultimate visual history (1st ed.). San Rafael, CA: Insight Editions.

Johnston, R. (2016, June 10). Artists alley, art theft and copyright law- a lawyer speaks to bleeding cool. Bleeding Cool. Retrieved from https://www.bleedingcool.com/2016/06/10/artists-alley-art-theft-and-copyright-law-a-lawyer-speaks-to-bleeding-cool/

Johnston, R. (2016, May 8). Buzz sends tim lundmark packing at wizard world minneapolis comic con. Bleeding Cool. Retrieved from https://www.bleedingcool.com/2016/05/08/buzz-sends-tim-lungren-packing-at-wizard-world-minneapolis-comic-con/

Kidd, C. (2005). Mythology: the dc comics art of alex ross. New York: Pantheon Books.

Meggs, P. B., & Purvis, A. W. (2012). Art Nouveau. In Meggs’ history of graphic design (pp.196-231)(5th ed.). Hoboken, NJ: John Wiley & Sons Inc.

Miller, R., (September 19, 2013). Was mr. Skygack the first alien character in comics?. Io9. Retrieved from https://io9.gizmodo.com/was-mr-skygack-the-first-alien-character-in-comics-453576089

Plunkett, L.,(May 16, 2016). Cosplay is over 100 years old. Kotaku. Retrieved from https://cosplay.kotaku.com/cosplay-is-over-100-years-old-1777013405

Ulmer, R. (2007). Alfons Mucha. Los Angeles, CA: Taschen

[this-world-of-beautiful-monsters]

Donnie Angst Fics

TMNT 2018

[TMNT 2012]

[TMNT 2003]

[All media types]

[TMNT IDW]

[TMNT 2014, 1987, 1990s, 2007]

pathetic by cxlesstial - Donnie crumbles until he can’t keep it hidden anymore (tw depression, mental health issues, suicidal thoughts, self-harm, dissociation, self-loathing, self-doubt, self-esteem issues)

Hanging By A Turtle by CamsthiSky - A fight gone wrong leaves Donnie and his brothers forced to rely on each other in a very precarious situation (tw implied violence, deadly situations, and injuries)

submarines and stubborn love by guide_to_the_galaxy - Donnie accidentally breaks a promise, and the repercussions for him and Leo are painful (tw blood, injuries, self-sacrifice/suicidal tendencies, separation, mind control)

Smile by Werepirechick @spectrumscribe - Donnie comes to terms with the parts of his little brother that only he can see (tw mental health issues and discussions of violence)

i'm on your side and that's forever by orphan_account - Donnie’s brothers don’t always know how he looks after them (tw injuries, bad parenting, mental health issues)

superfight by swordfright - A fight with Leo brings some of Donnie’s deepest insecurities to the fore (tw violence, dysfunctional family, cruelty, destruction of prized possessions, internalized ableism)

Twin Thing by HolyMangos - Donnie doesn’t and does have a twin all at once (tw child endangerment, home destruction, and relationship issues)

The T Subjects by buttsbeyondbutts - Donnie and Mikey try to survive a brutal captivity (tw unethical experimentation, torture, imprisonment, humiliation, nonconsensual drug use, child abuse, trauma, vocal issues, PTSD, flashbacks, medical horror, separation, dehuminzations)

Monsters Among Us by DanzinoraSwitch - Donnie and his family are pulled into a dangerous game with a cunning and determined enemy (tw abuse of power, torture, manipulation, anti-mutant prejudice)

The Kids Are (Almost) Alright by LynxCore - Baron Draxum needs the turtles’ help, but Donnie isn’t ready to forgive him (tw injuries, blood, violence, anger, dysfunctional relationships, medical issues)

bloody & torn by redhairedmuses - Their fight with the Shredder takes a darker turn that leaves Donnie fight for his life (tw blood, injuries, gore, medical issues, panic attacks, trauma, violence, recovery)

Angelo by PrincessFreak - Donnie’s desires lead him down a dark path (tw dubcon/noncon, turtlecest, underage sex, underage sex work, semi-public sex, sexually explicit sex)

Cigarette Smoke by SaschaR - Donnie is cracked and fraying at the edges, but if nothing else he’s got Leo to keep him together (tw past underage rape, trauma, cigarettes, trauma, PTSD, past molestation, mental health issues)

Bloody Chicken by PrincessFreak - Donnie discovers one of Leo’s darkest secrets and gets pulled into a very strange game (tw turtlecest, mental health issues, self-harm, unhealthy relationships, unsafe sex, explicit sexual content, painplay)

Got Your Back by FoxGlade - Donnie feels out of place even among his oddball family, but that doesn’t mean he isn’t one of them (tw child injury, health issues, and discussions of ableism)

Upside Down by transdonatello - Donnie’s puberty is turned on its head by an uncomfortable revelation (tw gender issues, possible accidental misgendering, turtlecest, shock, crying, turtlecest, explicit sexual content)

Bad at Communication by Lovely_Dovely - Donnie comforts Leo to the best of his ability (tw insomnia, anxiety, communication issues, neurological issues)

Mind Meld Part Deux by goldenspecter - Donnie and his family deal with the consequences of his actions (tw emotional manipulation, past brainwashing, betrayal, family dysfunction, trauma, mental health issues, dissociative identity disorder, self-esteem issues)

A = B = C by Screamless - Donnie considers where he fits into the family puzzle (tw social issues, communication issues, internalized ableism)

the same 3 donatello headcanons i adore in collection  by GalekhXigisi - A dark, but spectacular collection of Donnie stories and drabbles (tw include unintentional misgendering, elements of tranpshobia, mental health issues, ableism, rape, PTSD, nightmares, grooming, trauma, manipulation, child death, teen pregnancy, unintentional pregnancy, grief, injuries, chronic pain, physical health issues, intrusive thoughts, non-sexy overstimulation, blood, menstruation, menstruation complications, self doubt, sefl-esteem issues, running away)

Two Turtles, a Hippo, And No Free Will Stuck In a Room. by orphan_account - Hypno has Donnie and Leo under his control, and he’s not letting them go without leaving some damage (tw rape, mind control, turtlecest, captivity, violence, manipulation, torture, guilt, trauma, injuries PTSD)

control [rottmnt donnie animatic] by jaya arts - Donnie trying to keep it together (tw violence injuries, insecurity, trauma, PTSD, anger issues psychological trauma, mental health issues, brief flashing)

“Chapter 1,” “Chapter 2,” “Chapter 5,” “Chapter 8,” “Chapter 9,” “Chapter 14,” “Chapter 15,” “Chapter 17,” “Chapter 18,” and “Chapter 21” if you're still breathing, you're the lucky ones by sonicthehedgehoglover2 - Donnie-centric stories from this angst collection (tw blood, injury, trauma, imprisonment, health issues, family dysfunction, torture, psychological torture, abuse, self-doubt, self-esteem issues)

[this-world-of-beautiful-monsters]

Donnie Angst Fics

[TMNT 2014, 2007, 1990s, 1987]

[TMNT 2003]

[All media types]

[TMNT IDW]

[TMNT 2012]

[TMNT 2018]

TMNT 2014

Assuming Command by slipstream - Canon blend with 2012 and 2003. Donnie struggles to cope after suddenly having to take Leo’s place as leader, and Raph helps in his own way (tw violence, injuries, mental health isssues, panic attacks, anxiety, nonsexy overstimulation)

The Why of Things (Turtles All the Way Down Remix) by slipstream - Donnie pushes himself to the limit to save an innocent life (tw violence, destruction, imprisonment, near-death experiences, physical strain, fear, referenced violence, being buried alive) Minor Modifications by slipstream - Donnie, his brothers, and the ways they alter themselves (tw violence, child punishment, self-harm)

I do it for them by Multifandom_damnation - Donnie is terrible at taking care of himself, and Casey confronts him on it (tw self-worth issues, self-hate, self-neglect, self-esteem issues, medical inaccuracies, medical issues, injuries, mentions of violence, self-doubt, mental health issues, overwork)

“Eggs” from TMNT Drabbles by FeeFido - Donnie comes to terms with a painful biological fact (tw body issues, gender issues, turtlecest, child death or miscarriage)

“Wash” from TMNT Drabbles by FeeFido - Donnie is carefully and professionally taken apart (tw torture, mutism, manipulation, brainwashing, memory loss, imprisonment, isolation

)“Grenade” from Drabbles and Slash by her_silhouette Donnie gets hurt and Raph has to keep him here (tw violence, blood, injuries, turtlecest)

“Precious” from Drabbles and Slash by her_silhouette - Raph helps Donnie come to terms with the true nature of ninja (tw discussions of violence and very mild seeds of turtlecest TMNT 2007

Unconditionally by Saiya_hime - Donnie loves his family, but the ways they love him back are sometimes painful, and sometimes terrifying (warnings for turtlecest, domestic violence, out of character behavior, rape, abuse, emotional manipulation, heartbreak, betrayal, unhealthy relationships, abusive relationships, forced pregnancy)

“Central Rain (Mikey & Don)” from The Shinobi's Garden by taizi @taizi - Donnie tries to make up for the past and worries in the present (tw dysfunctional family, abandonment issues, worry, fighting, guilt)

“Things That Stay (Mikey & Don)” from The Shinobi's Garden by taizi @taizi - Donnie’s not feeling too well, so it’s a good thing he’s got someone to look after him (tw sickness, mild themes of abandonment, dysfunctional family

“Abandoned” from Firebird Scratches, TMNT 100 Themes Challenge! by Firebird Scratches - Donnie has a hard time keeping his family together while Leo’s gone (tw blood, injuries, abandonment, implied violence, family dysfunction)

“S2 Chapter 32” from Of Flowers and Things by Mystic Medjai - Almost everybody is scared of the Nightwatcher, but not Donnie (tw violence and family dysfunction)

“Chapter 7: - Lineage: Leonardo -” from Drabbles Forever by Mikell - Donnie prepares for new responsibilities in the face of his brother’s departure (warnings for possible miscommunication and impending separation)

TMNT 1987

"A Lucky Dude" by Plastron - Donnie experiences a truly devastating betrayal (tw rape, underage, emotional manipulation, gaslighting, intoxication, explicit sexual content, internalized homophobia, sexual abuse, psychological abuse, molestation, betrayal, guilt)

The Technodrome Complex by Plastron - Donnie is captured by someone who wants him broken in every way possible (tw rape, humiliation, emotional manipulation, self-doubt, betrayal, self-esteem issues, explicit sexual content)

Turtle Soup by Goblin Cat KC - Shredder follows through on one of his darker threats, and Donnie is his first impact (tw attempted murder, violence, imprisonment, torture, cannibalistic themes)

TMNT 1990s

“Chapter 2: Origin: Leonardo” from Drabbles Forever by Mikell  - Leo helps Donnie deal with the fallout from a painful revelation (tw identity issues)

[desperatelyseekingroleplay]

Hi everyone! I’m Elana!

Age: 22

Gender/Pronouns: Female She/Her

Timezone: USA East Coast

About Me: I recently graduated and am on the job hunt! Looking for something to do to help pass the time and de-stress while I hunt 😊 I write third person multi-para novel format. I occasionally will write novella replies, but that’s when inspiration hits and I don’t expect that in return! I love to create oc’s, and I think the more oc’s the merrier! I am willing to play any gender and sexuality, but not just m//m. Yaoi plots turn really quickly into fetishizing and I’m not here for that. I love writing m//m plots, just as long as they have real substance and aren’t just about the fact they’re two guys into each other! I’m really chill, upbeat, and fun. I Love to discuss different plots and au’s, and often will look for music, videos, and pinterest photos for inspiration. I love changing up canon and making new headcanons to fit the rp. World building is my fave! I also treat my writing partners as actual friends, so talking ooc is big to me! I don’t mind if you up and disappear. I might check in, but I get it. I also don’t mind if you leave for a bit and come back a while later. It happens!

  What I’m Looking for in a Partner: It is a MUST to me that my writing partner is 21+. This is the most important thing to me. I like intense, sensitive, and mature themes. I will not write these with someone who is not 21 or older. Please tell me your age in your email to me. Please write multi-para for the most part. I get that writers block happens and sometimes a paragraph is all you can do! In action scenes I don’t expect as much since things are going so quickly. I do like descriptions though. I don’t really like to fade to black so much and would prefer the same, but I also don’t expect sexual themes 😊

I LOVE pairing oc’s together. In fact, I actually prefer it! When I say I love OC led roleplays, I mean I LOVE oc led roleplays.

I’d prefer if oc’s weren’t related to canon characters.

    Fandoms: (In all the fandoms where there could be romance, I play everyone 18)

TMNT

BNHA – I REALLY want to do this verse. I play UA as a college instead of a highschool 😊 Honestly they look like college students to begin with haha

Outsiders (based on the book, but with Dally and Johnny surviving because I love them)

Justice League Unlimited

Pretty Little Liars

Game of Thrones (Looking for someone to play either an oc Dothraki Khal -or hell, make it a khaleesi cause I’m gay. Or Dany and Drogo for my oc 😊 )

Riverdale (Looking for a Fangs or oc to pair with my oc)

Supernatural (I have a lesbian oc I would love to pair with another oc!)

Degrassi Eli/Claire/Adam/Ali generation (I have an oc I want to put with Eli)

  Originals:

Supernatural Mafia

Feudal Japan (with demons)

Fantasy world rp (sort of high fantasy styled, but it doesn’t have to be set in Europe or can be an entirely fictional world)

Normal people slice of life drama (really heavy oc run. We make families and kids and adults. Parents, college students, etc. And just write their lives. Can be as intense or light-hearted as we want)

    How to reach me:

Email me at squidcurls@gmail.com