#THIS WAS TOO LONG OMG I GOTTA GET TO STUDY NOW FOR REALS LOL

[callie-shifts-apparently]

WAIT I GET A TAG I LOVE THIS !!!! u must tell me all about ur fantasy dr now omg

RAAAAH OKAY. Im working on a Notion thingy that I'll link when its "done", and i loath everyday that i havent figured out the magic system yet, but heres the super basic outline:

- Its a european medieval fantasy setting, magic and mythical creatures and such (the only humanoids are like. Elves and Humans though, so not quite high-fantasy)

- I live with my adopted dad + mentor, Cassius, on this collection of floating islands called the Peregrine Islands

- Dragons are a fairly big part of the world but are severely under researched, so we work in a government funded program to study dragons. but this usually means just dicking around with them lol

- Gods are real (though not all powerful). the two primary Gods are Celia of the Moon and her sister Seraphis. Seraphis is commonly known as the sun goddess but shes technically a god of twilight and dawn. Celia's followers are all very different with different styles of worship but generally Celia sends signs through dreams, where as Seraphis dormant because every few hundred years she makes these big "miracles" and exhausts all her power

- The 9 levels of hell are real and each level has a legendary weapon associated with it. In order to keep the 9 Hells closed, the weapons are sealed away in each of the 9 capitals of the world. Eventually one of them (I dont remember which weapon it was my b <\3) gets stolen by this shapeshifter mf and pawned off to pirates but idk where that plotline is going juuust yet 👀

- im Super Cool and also Arospec in this reality so in my dr i naturally have a love triangle goin on 🤘 plan is polyamory but we'll see how it goes lol. One is a boy-next-door type from an old-western-style town me + Cassius visit sometimes, other is from an arctic tribe with these cool seaglass beaches i found on pinterest and immediately adopted into the universe jdbsksbsj

- yeah generally Stuff Is Going On LMAO but 99% of my time in my DR is me going on research trips, special requests from the princess, and housekeeping for dragons lol. eventually im gonna have to write a wholeass BOOK on them and even defining what a dragon IS is going to be such a task oml. but i <3 my work

- other animals like jackalopes and unicorns and phoenixes and merfolk will exist for sure for sure for sure, but ive always been autistic about dragons and that WILL NOT change there

- My riding dragon is a pretty common one but hes my bestest friend ever ever everrrr. Hes an orange + white feathered wyvern called Solstice and I'd die for him a thousand times over. His species typically keep to family groups in these like, year-round autumn forests near the peregrine islands? but during certain times of year theres like. 30-50 of them hanging out in fields to even out the food sources yk. without the camouflage of the forests they just rely on strength in numbers :] i have to go every year but honestly its a vibe. theyre a very docile dragon lol

- Cassius' riding dragon is a very serious girlie called Juno !!! Cassius worships Celia of the Moon very dutifully so even his dragon is moon themed lol. Juno is like a SUPER DUPER rare kind of dragon where they have a really long life span because their eggs almost never hatch. they only hatch on eclipses, and theyre super fun too because if they hatch during a Lunar Eclipse you get the horned variant (Juno), and if they hatch during a Solar Eclipse you get the frilled variant :D!!!! I gotta sit down and properly design them one day but AAAA

- OH Familiars also exist here!! they basically work as like a reservoir of magic if that makes sense? The spell it takes to get one is super tedious and draining but Cassius helped me with like, support spells so i managed. Familiars basically either can double the strength of one spell, or allow you to cast an additional one. They can take on basically any shape so long as its mobile because magic isnt stationary. Mine is a blue tiger cub named Tybalt/Tibby (Hes based on my favourite stuffed animal lol). most familiars are semi-tangible and pretty small - Tibbys about the size of a small rabbit. Familiars natively make like. Wind chime/glass clinking noises :3

[caliburn-the-sword]

finished reading scarlet; last thoughts and reactions and ponderings

was about to be like "ew wtf did not want r*pe in MY y/a book" AND THEN HE SLIPPED HER AN I.D. TO ESCAPE

thorne is SO real for only being concerned about his jacket despite human bites being very dangerous lol

why are these werewolves acting like vamps

it's kind of nice how cool thorne is with lunars with all the lunar hate there is - i remember when reading cinder being apalled about how she generalised them all as corrupt

YES SCARLET KNOWS SHE KNOWS NOW

NO NOT GRANNY I'M LITERALLY IN STUDY PERIOD RN I CAN'T CRY (note: i managed not to cry in study period but god my eyes burned for a while lmao)

tf i thought wolf was just being possessive in like a protective way against ran and not just a plain old possessive way. he's honestly making me nervous rn like goodness i can literally feel scarlet's fear rn. STOP WITH YOUR I CAN FIX HIM DISEASE AND RUN (note: okay he got brain fucky wucky by mind control so this isn't him)

HOLY SHIT THEY'RE ALL FINALLY MEETING I'M FROTHING AT THE MOUTH

i think kai is going delulu. i bet his office isn't bugged and he's got a spy. literally since cinder my money has been on torin. but maybe huy

omg kai's recognition of cinder's sacrifice by going to the ball <3

gotta agree with everything cinder's saying about kai's marriage because it's everything i've been thinking since kai decided to marry levana. i wish he would see how it's a bandaid for a stab wound. he's barely fixing a short term problem, which is gonna have the same long term problem regardless

the girls (all current pov characters) ARE FIGHTING. not mad tho because i'm a messy bitch who lives for drama <3

"She'd had the bridge built for herself out of very special glass, so that she could watch (...) all without being observed herself" levana YOU MEAN A TWO WAY MIRROR??? don't go acting all superior you're not special

from what wolf has described of his Tragic Backstory there is NO way he ISN'T a virgin. i'm so sorry that was my only takeaway but i'm trying to distract myself

"We met less than a week ago and in that time I've done nothing but lie and cheat and betray you" FKSDHFSDK sounds JUST like ouat rumpelstiltskin and yet he's STILL healthier than him and not toxic LMAO

wait did wolf need to pretend betray scarlet without her knowing instead of just making THAT the plan because those supersoldiers can smell hormones?? i bet they can. i reckon he needed her to feel REAL fear (note: now that i think about it it's probably just the bioelectricity crap but also ONLY the thaumaturge would be able to detect that???)

if i keep having to read "alpha female" with my own two eyes, i'm going to need bleach. marissa meyer you owe me financial compensation for the psychological distress i've been caused. 3 is in fact 4 times too many. it is a crime that it was ever thought into existence

predictions for cress

didn't do this last time between cinder and scarlet but figured it would be fun!! you guys get to silently laugh about how wrong i am, no spoilers

first off, doc erland's place in africa becomes the home base and cinder starts her training

someone tries to recreate garan's device since it will be useful for the rebellion - could be a joint effort between cinder and cress since they have the hardware and software down respectively. idk who's gonna fill the last role of like. bio stuff and the surgeries tho but we'll see

MORE THORNE BACKSTORY

definitely more wolf pov chapters now that marissa no longer needs to make him dodgy

cress is at least a LITTLE bit delulu wackers bonkers cray z lost her marbles etc etc from being so isolated for so long. i would LOVE to get into that mindset and character voice. would make for a very interesting pov

on reading the blurb:

i'm REALLY fucking dumb it finally occurred to me that in rapunzel the hero falls from the tower and gets blinded by thorns. so that tells me exactly who carswell thorne is (rip to when i thought he was the prince from sleeping beauty cause that's embarrassing). i wonder if he gets ejected into space from the satellite and his eyeballs freeze out of his sockets or something

i wonder WHY cress would be locked up by the queen BEFORE she was even able to hack since she wouldn't have been useful then. my first thought was that glamour doesn't work on her like with shells but she's not a shell herself but that wouldn't make sense because the thaumaturges seemed surprised by cinder and michelle benoit so it can't be that. for the sake of my running joke of every fairy tale character either being related or knowing each other, i'm just gonna pin it down to her being somewhere in the family tree and leave it at that

can these people STOP getting separated from each other?? i can't handle it. from the blurb it seems like the boys got cut off from the girls??? and then kai is also separated from all of them lol. this is a prediction only in the sense that i'm trying to guess who's getting separated from who. i think it would tie well into separating everyone from their love interest like poor cinder

i wonder if this will be the book that we meet princess winter since with royal etiquette and all that her presence will p r o b a b l y be required during all them wedding preparations and what not

@eddisfargo @francforever @winterrhayle @winterpinetrees

[docnefarious]

is elaris someone you would consider to be a part of nefarious' canon in the video games, or just canon to the movie version? if so, tell us about him and elaris!

HC TIME !!

Oh man, now you've given me a chance to gush about Elaris lmaao 👀 what have you done Anon lfkjsd thank you

Seriously tho, one of the few ships i have on this blog xDD but omg i love it so much. And of course have lots of thoughts about it!!

As for whether she's canon to the games or just the movie, i would honestly love to incorporate her into my hcs for my game verse somehow! At the moment though i've only thought about her in the movie context. Though now that you mention it... 👀 i'm getting images of her in the game verse, and i gotta say, i love it LOL. If that somehow develops more on this blog, i would be so up to developing it with someone! But for now i'll gush about my thoughts on her in the movie verse!!

But yeah lmao, my ideas xD— So these two were total nerds and partners together for the longest time. She's like one of the only people Nef's felt he could actually open up to. He has a very hard time making friends lmaao (omg what a surprise, right)—but she was always someone that he felt he could talk to. Which was so nice! I have HCs that he was basically a lonely nerd most of his life until he met her LOL. Also idk why, but I have this image of them meeting when they were in like university and studying together or something, and actually hitting it off well, and finding they had a lot in common! And got along!

Then they got hired together into the rangers and were both still total nerds, and they'd just hang out in their tiny lil office together all day long and work on things. And share ideas lmao! They appreciated each other, and had the same hobbies, and i can so picture them meeting up outside of work, just to have gaming sessions or like this D&D campaign that they've had going for years or something LMAO! They were best friends, and he was totally crushing on her super hard 😭 he's never told her his true feelings, and I HC he still has that crush even to this day (though it's a lot more complicated now). He still wishes that he could somehow bring her to his side, and feels like her talents are wasted with the rangers. He feels that he would appreciate her far more than they ever would.

Of course those are just his own beliefs, but he's convinced lol

Their split to different paths happened slowly while they were both working for the Rangers 😭 Nef began to snap because he cared too much about getting recognition and respect (and hated that Qwark took credit for things Elaris and him created, again and again lmao, which kicked off his whole grudge against Qwark in this verse). But unlike Nef, Elaris didn't mind working in the background and not getting credit (or like, even acknowledgement tbh, if the way she's treated in the movie is any indication)—not that they were intentionally malevolent, they just didn't think to acknowledge her contributions often lolol. But they do genuinely like her!

But yeah, i hc that they worked together for years 👀 She was nef's closest and only real friend, and he was (and still is honestly) in love with her.

And now they're enemies 😭

And oop—that's not even mentioning the whole 'is a robot' thing now, bc that's a whole other can o' worms LOL. Which I can totally get into 👀👍—but basically Nef hated his old self and thinks his robotic self is far superior, and has TOTALLY SNAPPED now lmaao, but still has his feelings for Elaris and wants to bring her to his side

[purplerose244]

My thoughts on Seabound!!! 🌊🌊🌊 (2/4)

SPOILERS ALERT!!!

For now, nothing to complain about! We got Nya, we got MAYA AND RAY, we got GILES PANTON BACK A LEGO SHOW!!! 😍😍😍

Of course now I'm definitely curious about what the story is really about, like I'm guessing Wojira will wake up at some point so... Great Devourer all over again maybe? 😅 Idk, for now I just wanna enjoy Nya having her moment 🥳

Alright, here we go!

GENERAL THOUGHTS

New alert for reader, during the Nexo Knights period I was and still am the hugest Clay fan. Now that his voice is in this season I might scream more than necessary... keep that in mind 😅

I love the humor in this, all random but still kinda clever 😂😂 Maybe I'm biased because I love Jay but still 🤷‍♀️

I really like the design of the marine world, very cool!! 🌊🌊🌊

I guess I'm not really seeing any big plot twist moment for now? Ninjago seasons have history of basing seasons on a "we need to prevent this event from happening but it will happen anyway", so I can see Wojira waking up no matter what 🤷‍♀️

I wonder if that will be shocking? Usually when this situation happen, someone makes a major sacrifice (Zane with the Overlord, sensei Garmaron with Chen, again sensei G with the Preeminent...). Maybe Maya? I DON'T WANT THAT 😭 But I am curious, everything is going nicely and I'm not sure what it will bring! 🤩 I'M EXCITED SO LET'S GO!!!

THE WRATH OF KALMAAR

So this is the name of Clay's new incarnation, neat! 👍

Okay really, for having a season lately the main character just can't help but be trapped by the villain: kinda Zane in the ICE Chapter, Jay in Prime Empire, Cole in Master of the Mountain... we can call it a tradition at this point 🤷‍♀️

Giant serpent, yadda yadda, I wonder if we're gonna address the Great Devourer at some point? Not mandatory, but the reference would be very cool 🤩

Clay's new incarnation is a prince I- *hyperventilates in awe*

Nya playing dumb lol, I don't know if that's personal experience as she used to get kidnapped a lot in the past or she just have too many idiots in her life 😂

ALSO ANOTHER BEST GIRL'S SMIRK

NYA YOU'RE TOO MUCH ILY ❤💙❤💙

Jay I love that you're so worried about Nya but maybe try NOT TO DIE? YOU'RE WITH LLOYD AND ZANE YET YOU'RE THE ONE GOING FOR THE SACRIFICE WTH?? 😱 But he's worried about his cool GF I kinda get it, also he didn't do it so good...

WHAT. THE. HECK.

WHO ARE YOU OH MY FIRST SPINJITZU MASTER YOU'RE ADORABLE I WANNA KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU YOU ABSOLUTE CUTIE 🤩🤩🤩

So Giles is doomed to voice LEGO characters with daddy issues 😂 That being not having a dad at all or having one that is... a good guy? Idk he seems chill with the surface at first glance, I wonder what's the story of this family

Maya reminds of my mom, she also mentions her work a lot and I study the same thing. But she doesn't want to brag, it gets annoying but she just wants to give me advice. It's nice to see actually 👍 Also Ray reference NEAT ❤❤❤

Wow, if any child-parent couple of this show was doomed at going semi Emperor's New Groove style, I would've bet on Ed and Jay honestly 😅

Oh HECK yes I knew that with my water girls things were BOUND to get cool 😎 ... yeah I know where the door is *goes away*

JAY NO WHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT TRYING TO DIE STOP DOING WHAT YOU'RE DOING!!! 😱😱😱

My GOSH that scared the crap out of me 😅 Jay honey we have too many deaths in this team, you're not helping... BUT YOU POWERED AN ENTIRE SHIP BECAUSE YOU LOVE NYA AND YOU DIDN'T DIE AND I LOVE YOU SO MUCH BLUEBELL 💙💙💙

They were all so worried, I love this ninja family so freaking much 💜💜💜 Also better not tell this one to his GF 😂

And Bluebell?

Welcome to the "change eye color because of elemental power" team! WE GOT ANOTHER ONE I LOVE WHEN IT HAPPENS!!! 😍😍😍

Awww, Zane letting Jay be the captain, that was so cute of him 💕

Another great episode! Doing great so far but I still wonder if we got into the main story. Feels like there should be more, well we got time! Next one! 😊

LONG LIVE THE KING

Sooooo... that's one very telling title 😅 If we're going full Lion King on this one, I think I know where this is going 😵

Maya: Don't they know that metal taste terrible?!? (Again feels like Kai could say something like this 😂)

FINALLY NYA USING FREAKING WATER POWERS UNDER THE SEA!!! Thank you Maya for saying out loud what we were all thinking 👌👌

NINJA TO THE RESCUE!!!

Pff, okay, the fact that Kalmaar is all evil and cruel and then he gets startled like that, it's kind or adorable! 💕 Honestly Giles got such a deep voice, with Clay it was firm warm and reassuring, here we got plain devious and I ADORE it 😍😍😍

Maya come on don't doubt your daughter 😅 But I like her, and if she knew Nya they way we all do she wouldn't doubt that she could make it every time 😎

Yeah I was right, the king seems chill... oww I fear what's coming then 😳

Okay, so Kalmaar thinks that the world should go back to be lead by them like in the past, while the king just wants peace with the surface. And as we know, no drama no season so...

Yep, saw the death coming 😅

WHOA DID NOT SEE THAT LITTLE BLAME ACT COMING KALMAAR IS SO EVIL!!!... with a glorious voice but still (Rose focus on something that is not that godlike voice, you can do it 💪💪)

THE OLD ONE TWO I LOVE THIS SO MUCH COMBO ATTACK!!! 🌊❄🌊❄

Awww Benthomaar is actually really cute, he's so worried about his father 😢 And he's adopted apparently? I wanna know the story!!! 🤩🤩

Yep, there's the reason why Zane got a mask even though he doesn't need one, it completes his attire 😂😂😂 My gosh how I love this nindroid ❄

Did... did Jay just say phooey? Dude Ducktales ended a while ago but I'm still not over it 😭

I said it once before I'll say it again, Ninjago is really REALLY good at making death scenes. Like, omg, I genuinely felt sorry for them 😢😢 I also really liked that the king didn't ask to be avenged, he still wanted peace and he asked his son to protect the ninja and he cried actual tears...

MY HEART WTH 😭😭😭 So we're adding this to the real tears moments of the show, with Jay crying over pie, Zane with the flashback of his dad, Jay crying over Nya and Lloyd thinking the ninja are gone... my world this show is angsty 🙂

Third startle for prince Kalmaar, I love the gag 😂 Oh wait, king Kalmaar 🤷‍♀️

Okay, we got a coup, the ninja running away because they got framed, Benthomaar is most likely going to join them or at least help them, I guess Wojira will come out at some point while... Kai, Ray and Cole are still playing videogames? 😅

THIS IS GETTING COOL I WONDER WHAT WILL HAPPEN NEXT AAAAHHH HECK YES THERE IS THE HYPE!!! 😍😍😍

Although I hope we get more stuff with Nya and Maya, that's what I like 🤩

ESCAPE FROM MERLOPIA

I'm good at English and I can follow most of it, but the fantasy names are tricky so I didn't get before that this was the name of the place 😅 It's nice, at least it's not another Atlantis 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

LLOYD I SWEAR TO YOUR GRANDPA IF YOU TRY TO DIE AGAIN 😱

NYA YOU ARE NOT A GOOD SUBSTITUTE NONE OF YOU ARE OMG 😱😱

Ah, there he is, my new son Benthomaar 💙 He is so lovable already, I know nearly nothing about him and I like his character already a lot! He could relate with all of the ninja really, but maybe with Jay the most? They were both adopted after all 🤔🤔

*scribble note for a fanfic for later if this doesn't come up in the season*

Alright moving on 😗

I am so happy Nya gets a season, Kelly got a great emotional range that doesn't come out often in my opinion, but with a full introspection of water goddess we are all blessed by her voice acting 😍

Gotta say, admitting that Bentho didn't have to help them to answer the usual 'Can we trust him' question is pretty reasonable, like, better than other stupid answers 😅

Also don't mind me

Just screenshotting by ship 💙❤💙❤

Somehow lately we are letting Jay do the talking and I both hate and LOVE the fact 😂😂 Plain Bluebell nonsense, heck yes that's my jam👌👌

MAYA IS SO COOL OMG 🤩🤩

I literally can't not laugh at the startle gag with Kalmaar 😂

LLOYD WHAT DID I JUST SAY ABOUT SELF SACRIFICING!! PLEASE IT'S NOT EVEN YOUR SEASON!! 😱😱😱😱

Aww Jay is still the Captain, nice! Wonder if it's giving him Skybound flashbacks... I hope not considering all he went through that time, poor Sparky 😅😅

ARE THOSE LITTLE WU ROCKETS?? 🤯

Can we skip a season and hang out with Pixal one time? I really wanna know how she organizes her free time to create these things 😍😍😍

THANK YOU LLOYD FOR NOT DYING ONCE AGAIN, MUCH APPRECIATED!!! 💚💚💚 My green bean needs a vacation... they all do 😅

THEY ARE

SO BEAUTIFUL 💙🌊💙🌊

Alright, back to the island hoping Kalmaar will not track us and follow us so he can get to the place and discover the amulet 🙂

Are we not calling the others? I miss my flame babe and Rocky ❤🖤❤🖤 Also RAY WATCHA DOIN I WANNA KNOW EVERYTHING 🤩🤩

THE TALE OF BENTHOMAAR

Wait what? Shark boy backstory? SHARK BOY BACKSTORY?!? 👀👀👀

Wow, I see that Kalmaar didn't change a thing growing up, still the same gonna-be-a-villain 😂 Of course his voice got a lot deeper and cool and okay you know I love his voice moving on

I find it kinda funny that Kalmaar is so focused on royal blood and superiority, while Clay was basically a farm boy who worked his way up. Giles knows how to get the character no matter what 😍

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH

BABY BENTHOMAAR AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍💙💙💙💙💙💙💙

The king seems like such a good pers- fish- creature 😅 Now I'm double sad that he died, my world, why do I always care so fast, it's not healthy in this show where everyone could die 😰😰

I'M SORRY IS THAT KAI'S HAIR??? 😂😂😂 I LITERALLY CAN'T LOOK AWAY WTH I DON'T KNOW HOW I FEEL ABOUT THIS

Literally every frame of Benthomaar makes me love him even more 😢

Interesting that we got an academic villain, he kinda reminds me of Clouse in a way, maybe even Harumi since she studied her way to her plan as well? I like that we got a bit of personality too!

Using your little bro for your own purpose... it's very evil but kinda also brotherly like 😂

Benthomaar really gives me that very PRECIOUS vibe, kinda the perfect son but also a naive and unaware BABY 💙

LEGO HUG 🤩🤩 Not exactly reciprocated but still 😅

Ooohhh, so this is how he found the temple! I like this, it shows that Bentho is most likely physically stronger than Kalmaar, while evil brother is focused on brain and studies. They are planned differently, I like it! 😚😚

Ouch, peer pressure... sibling pressure? Eh you get what I mean 😂

POOR BENTHO 😭😭😭 YOU GOT THE NINJA NOW DON'T WORRY WE'RE NEVER GONNA LEAVE YOU ALONE YOU PRECIOUS SHARK BABY!! 🦈🦈🦈

Bentho: will I really fit in with you guys? Do you really understand how I feel?

Lloyd: Jay was adopted, Nya's parents were gone most of her life, Zane lost his father while mine turned evil

Bentho(tearing up): yeah that can work

Okaaaaayyyyy, I like that we got a bit of backstory for Bentho too! We didn't get much for Vanya in Master of the Mountain, which is the only thing I was sad about (very little detail, AMAZING season 🖤🖤🖤), nice to see it here!!

But I really want more Nya and Maya interactions, I hope we'll soon get to them again!! 😍😍😍

Alright, getting somewhere here! I'm very curious about what's next 🤩🤩

[buttercupistough]

omg i have a lot of asks piled up rn so i felt the need to explain this lol

right now we are moving houses, actually we moved two days ago but we are still fixing stuff and placing other stuff plus; we can’t get a wifi for some time (maybe up to five months bc the house is new and the license of it is not complete or something idk) like that’s so upsetting bc i gotta study too

and my mobile data was just renewed four days ago but i somehow already used 8GB (wtf)

i still have plenty but idk if i can be active on tumblr a lot bc i will study for an exam

fyi it’s not the same in Turkey as America or most of the other places as far as i know,,, basically we need to go into an exam that is real hard and you gotta know everyting in 4 years of highschool without a skip. i still have 10 more months until the exam but it’s usually not enough, yeah it’s that kind of an exam🤕 so pls pray for me

i dropped out of software eng. to try out for med or dentistry so, i gotta work extra hard… i might not be around so often the reason i went without a update on reverse so long was bc i started studying back then, but i’ll try to update reverse everytime i get the inspo to write and i will also share occasional asks or headcanons

so sorry if your ask takes time for me to answer to, there is more than 100 of them right and now some of them are about shows i’ve never watched so, i cannot answer those bc there is around 20 and i don’t want to spam your time line with “sorry i’ve not watched it” posts i hope you understand❣️



[hematomes]

hi ced! sorry im late<3

im feeling kinda jealous of your sweetheart (yall sound so cute i can't) but I'll live😔✊🏽 (keep a little place in your heart for me though<3)

jokes aside im really happy for you. you seem to be having a good time!

ok so that history test went pretty well! i actually stayed home on saturday, played a little genshin since i hadn't in a while (fucking send help i haven't even finished the goddamn inazuma quest yet i can't do this anymore) and studied! time with my mom went smoothly too, we went to a thai restaurant and ate way too much lol and we only had one (1) heated moment. an achievement, truly

i still haven't checked out that poet damn jsjdjd i guess I'll get to it on christmas break tbh cause shit is! busy! smh i have so much stuff piled for christmas (shit ton studying, books to read, gotta dye my hair, spend time with my mom, go out with friends..... im gonna die) wbu!! got any Christmas plans? and how's the Christmas Spirit going for ya bc i felt it for the first time in years last night drinking hot chocolate with marshmallows. next time I'll make you a cup, too.

hehe maybe I'll send an actual poem sometime! im actually in a slump right now and it's frustrating. i had a wip for a small series of poems for autumn (1 for each month) titled 'the autumnal strife' and i kept putting it off and now it's CHRISTMAS😭

anyways. tell me your most and least favorite month! (bc the first poem is titled "september's hate poem" and it's somehow still not complete despite starting it in august.)

~soup

HI SOUP IM SO SORRY IT TOOK ME THIS LONG ZKDJZKS

don't be jealous hun you'll always be there in a comfy place in my heart <3

and!!! i am he is very sweet and stuff,,,

HHH GLAD THE TEST WENT WELL and damn the lack of genshin </3 did you get to play since then? 😭 and zkdkz glad it went rather well with your mom that is Very Good

don't worry abt the poet take your time!! <3 are you on your christmas break btw? I HOPE SO. and do take time to rest during the break, you deserve it smh

not for christmas, my mom's working so we'll just have the eve's dinner a bit early tomorrow and then on The day we'll exchange gifts like during dinner too!! the real deal is going to be on new year bc we're going over my aunt's place and my best friend's coming and i haven't seen her in a while zkdkz it's gonna be wild. and im probably gonna get absolutely trashed bc i haven't partied in way too long and seeing my best friend + my cousin ALWAYS GETS ME. also pls i need a cup of that hot choco it sounds so good <3

omg zkskz do send a poem if you can/want!!! THO SMH SLUMPS...... are a whole mood. hope you can get out of it 😔😔

mmh my favorite month is probably april bc i love the spring and also there's my birthday and somehow the ppl around me always manage to make it absolutely incredible. this year i had to celebrate alone in my 9m² room but my friends called me ootb to tell me they had bought stuff for me and it was waiting for me at home (like my mom's) 😭 AND THE YEAR PRIOR TO THAT THEY BOUGHT ME A SWITCH LIKE,,,, nghfrkzks angels. anyway yeah april is pretty and always makes me happy <3

as for the least, october zkdkzk seasonal depression hits me around this time and i don't really get to enjoy the beauty of autumn and stuff bc im just lying in my bed listening to mitski or ghostly kisses bye

ZKDKS WHY SEPTEMBER FOR YOU BTW

[liberolove]

Testing the Waters (pt. 1)

Summary: youve finally graduated high school and now youre moving on to college. youve decided to go to sendai university. its summer and youve become curious about checking out the dating pool in miyagi, so you download a dating app. you figure you might as well have fun before delving too deep into your studies

Part: [part one] out of ???

Pairings: nishinoya x reader / kuroo x reader / oikawa x reader / kiyoko x reader

A/N: theres tons of ships here, just me living out my hoe phase lmao please dont judge me. let me know what yall think

Genre: fluff, smut, crack

Warnings: flirting, college shinanigans

even though you decided to stay in your hometown to further your studies, you moved out as soon as you could. your parents were smothering you and you were honestly tired of it. so, you got your own apartment and started to live on your own. everything was fine and easy so far but then you realized how lonely you felt. your friends had moved away to go to other universities, and you were never really good at relationships. the anxiety of not knowing what to do with yourself until classes started was consuming you. to deal with this, you figured you might as well download a dating app. 

“Gotta check out all the hot singles in my area, I guess,” you thought.

it had been a while since your last relationship but you were sure you were ready again. or maybe you could try to find something different. maybe some hookups could be enough to help you during this weird adjustment period. 

you downloaded the app and added whatever details were needed. 

Name: l/n, y/n

Looking for: chat, relationship, hookup, anything

Bio: 

it took you about ten minutes to finally decide on what you wanted to add to your bio. finally, you typed out:

Bio: just another single college student looking for genuine human connections. Interests include watching anime, reading nerdy shit, and getting to know you 

you were never too good at coming up with bios but this should be good enough for now. time to see what kind of fish you could catch..

not even a minute after uploading a picture of yourself, a new message showed up.

Nishinoya Yuu: hey, beautiful! (;

Y/n: oh hi! how are you?

N: doing better now that I’m talking to youuuu. how about your lovely self?

Y: wow someone is really straightforward. I’m doing pretty well rn thanks. what are you up to?

N: just been bored as fuck on here and then BOOM you showed up (:

Y: lol youre silly. so hows the whole dating scene look like on here? any good ones?

N: nah it sucks honestly. But now you’re here so its a million times better!

Y: oh shush lol. does this site really work? like have you actually met someone from here?

N: uhh i actually havent met anyone yet, but ive had some nice conversations so far! ive still got high hopes

Y: have you been on here for a long time?

N: i just downloaded it like two weeks ago? idk but yeah. im hoping that maybe youll be my first??

Y: your first what? haha be more specific

N: OH sorry!! i didnt mean it like that omg. i meant like my first person to meet off of this app lol

Y: i mean if youre not busy right now, we could meet up for a coffee date or something? (cliche right?)

N: ARE YOU SERIOUS RIGHT NOW? like... right now rIGHT NOW?

Y: yeah (: sorry for doing this so fast. you’re just really cute and im bored haha

N: nooooo its fine i swear im just a little shocked. and WOW you think IM CUTE? you should look in the mirror because your gorgeousss *heart eyes emoji*

Y: so its settled? lets meet today at around 1 pm at XXX cafe? 

N: yeah! thats not too far from here! i CANT WAIT

Y: same here (:

as soon as you sent that last message you hopped in the shower and started getting ready. you debated whether to put on makeup or not and then eventually decided to do it. you wore that one red dress that greatly accentuated your butt and your curves. you checked the clock and it was 30 MINUTES UNTIL 1 so you finished up by brushing your hair and adding on a spritz of peach scented perfume. “Hopefully this impresses him.”

the cafe you guys agreed to meet at was only a short walk away from your apartment. you were almost at the cafe when you noticed the time again and it was already 10 MINUTES PAST 1! you were so scared that he thought you stood him up but as you got closer, you noticed a cute boy sitting by himself outside. you stared at his backside for a little, unsure if this was your mystery boy. so you messaged him on the app

Y: heeeey are you the one sitting alone outside with a tan shirt and some ripped black jeans?

your phone lit up with the answer to your question: “yes”

as you looked up again, you noticed the stranger you were staring at had stood up and was looking right into your eyes. once you locked eyes, he grinned the biggest smile you’d ever seen and he chuckled. 

“Hi there!! L/n, right? Nice to meet ya, I’m Nishinoya Yuu. Wow, you’re even more beautiful in person!! Do you want anything from the cafe? I’m buying”

You were kind of shocked by his beautiful smile and his spiky hair. It took you a while to respond as you tried to take in the wonderful sight in front of you. He was simply breath taking. You could tell he was the athletic type by the way his shirt hung onto his broad, toned shoulders. 

“Ummm... L/n? Are you okay? Do you want any coffee or sweets from the cafe?”

“OH, oh my god, I’m so sorry! I got distracted..” you said as you looked away from him, getting redder by the second. you hadn’t even noticed his compliment or the way he kept eyeing you up and down and licking his lips. “Yeah, I’d love to get a coffee, if you don’t mind. Please..”

His eyes snapped back up to yours. “Awesome, I’ll go order inside. You can just sit your pretty little self here while I do that. Don’t run away! I’ll be right back!”

now that you had some time to reflect on what the heck just happened.. you breathed a sigh of relief. You couldn’t believe that he was real and so goddamn gorgeous. His little tuft of blonde hair at the front of his head was so cute and his smile.. goddamn. the way he looked at you.. and his friendly demeanor. it was all so much to take in. you didn’t really know how to react. as soon as you had relaxed, you tensed back up as he came back and sat down with you.

“Here’s your coffee hot and ready just for you, hun”

“Thank you so much Nishinoya” you blushed a bit as your mouth pronounced his name

“Hey, just call me Noya! Or Yuu...”

“On a first name basis already?”

“Only if you want to..”

you giggled as you noticed that he was getting bright pink too. “Okay, Yuu.”

as soon as you said his first name, his eyes lit up and that bright pink hue on his face soon turned into a passionate red

“Soooo..” you said as you tried to break up the silence.. “what do you do? do you go to school?”

“Yeah! I’m going to start going to Sendai University in the fall! I’m going to be playing on the volleyball team! How about you?”

“No way.. I’m gonna go there too! I guess I’ll be seeing you around probably. And wow! Volleyball huh? That’s hot.”

when you said that last part, Noya almost spat out his coffee. you laughed at the look on his face. he was blushing so much he couldn’t keep still. you were almost afraid he would just run away from you and never come back.

He just tried to regain his composure and laughed. “You really got me there oh my god i almost choked. But yeah I can’t wait to play again.”

The rest of the afternoon you guys talked about everything from anime to your favorite season, to your least favorite horror movie. The more you two bonded over common interests, the more he let his wild side out. He became more rambunctious and fiery and this did things to you, to say the least. you checked your phone to check the time and it was already 6:45 pm. You had no clue as to when the sun had started setting, but it didn’t matter because you hadn’t felt this warm fuzzy feeling in your heart in a while. it felt so nice. you didn’t want it to end. but then noya interrupted your thought by saying, 

“Hey, (y/n)..” you two were on a first name basis already and it was just the first date. “it’s getting pretty late and I have to go home and help out my family with some stuff. I hope you don’t mind. Sorry! But we can definitely go out again if you want. i know i sure do..”

“Yes, of course! I totally get it. But first can I get your number?” you look away as you say this because this was the first time you’ve ever asked a guy for their number. 

you two exchange phone numbers and hug goodbye. you let the hug linger for a little longer than you should and plant a quick soft peck on his cheek and say,

“I can’t wait to see you again, Yuu.”

He just smiles and replies, “Me too, Y/n. I’ll see you again soon, babe.”

You freeze up and don’t know what to say as he walks away. you think to yourself, “did he really just call me babe?”

[growingingreenwood]

Hey I start college this week any advice? Hope all is well you are amazing!

Omg good job!! That's so exciting!!!! Alrighty, I have a bachelor’s degree and now i'm working on my Rec Therapy Degree so I’ve had like 5 and a half years of college/university experience so hopefully at least something here will be helpful for you. 

What are you going to collage to take?

One- Try to sit in the front of of the lecture hall

Classes will probably be a lot bigger than you’re used to and many people find this intimidating. I used to sit at the very back of lecture halls because I hated having to walk past rows of people, but you know what? My grades suffered for it. I’m an easily distracted human being with crippling ADHD and so being able to see everybody's computer screen was a nightmare for me. Half the class was watching movies or playing games or whatever so I didn't hear a damn word my teacher said. The closer I was to the front, the less distracting it was for me. Plus, I find that when I’m more familiar with being closer to my teachers it's easier and less intimidating for me to ask them for help or to re-explain things. 

Two- Don’t be embarrassed, everybodys a mess and other people have your question. 

The colleges I’ve been to have been nothing like highschool. We’re all in this together, we’re a suffering squad okay. So if you're too tired to ‘look good’ SICK half your class probably has not showered in like five days. Have a question that you think might make sound dumb? I can literally assure you that other people have the same question and pray somebody else will ask it. All of you are confused, it's okay. 

Three - BUY YOUR TEXTBOOKS USED!!!!!

Oh my god I cannot stress this enough. For some reason professores and schools are out here hustling textbooks like starving soundcloud rappers. We don’t need that shit. Your school probably has a facebook group or two where students are selling their old textbooks much cheaper than you could get them in bookstores. And when I mean cheaper, I mean by like 100 - 200 dollars. If you're on a physical campus, lots of people put lists of what books they're selling on their lockers so keep an eye out for flyers as well. 

Four -  Join a club! 

One of the things I really love about college is all the low pressure social situations. There's literally tons of clubs at most universities rankings from really open (First Year Social Club!!) to ridiuclously niche (We All Play Super Smash Brothers In Full Costume Once A Month) so its a great place to start when it comes to making new friends and finding some cool stuff to do! 

Five - Don’t fall for the ‘too cool’ trap. 

Lots of people have endless fun in college (like me) and some people really, really hate it. Personally, I think it has a lot to do with your attitude about being there. There's tons of pep rallies, carnivals, festivals and whatever else held by your school that can actually be super fun to attend but many people think they're ‘too cool’ for things like that. Don’t fall into this trap, I can assure you those that went to the events had like 9 billion times more fun. 

 Six - ASK FOR THE HELP THAT YOU NEED 

This lesson took me so long to learn, but it was life changing once I did learn it. There's tons of resources available to you though most universities, and most of it was probably paid for through your tuition so it makes no sense to NOT access these things. See what your school offers for counseling services, stress reduction, learning activities held in the library, financial aid, make use of your teachers office hours, things like that. Crawl through your school’s website and see what they have to offer you, you can get some really really good life advice sometimes. If you’re falling behind in school work and need an extension, ask for it. Literally the worst thing that can happen is your teacher telling you ‘no.’ Which, honestly, in my near six years of schooling has literally only happened once and it was because the teacher personally didn’t like me. 

Seven -- C’s Get Degrees 

School Burnout Is REAL, she is sneaky, and she will hit you when you least expect it. I really struggle with having too high of expectations of myself when it comes to my work/life balance. This is the only year that I haven't worked at least 20 hours a week on top of full time university education and that only because of COVID and my immune issues, however for some reason I always expect myself to do like 3 - 4 hours of homework a day. Which is lunacy. At least it is for me. I literally cannot even count how many times I’ve put my grades before my physical, spiritual, emotional, and mental wellbeing. How many times I’ve forced myself to keep studying when I knew that I had already surpassed my limit hours ago because I thought that getting an A was more important than anything else. Especially myself. That’s not true. 

You weren’t put on this earth to get straight A’s, you were put on this earth to be the best you that you can be. 

So sometimes, you really do just gotta accept that ‘C’s get Degrees’ and you gotta close your textbook, go paint your nails, call your friend, and go to bed. 

Eight -- Everything Can Be A Learning Experience 

There are endless things to learn at college, and most of them aren't what the teachers are telling you. College is where I first learned that it really isn’t the end of the world to fail sometimes. It happens, it happens to everyone, but there's always something to learn from every ‘failure’ and part of it is how you can better handle failures in the future. It teaches you how to work with people, share ideas, and grow in your self-confidence. If you take the time to self-reflect when you find yourself struggling in aspects of your life in college, you can really learn a lot about yourself and how you present. 

It was through self-reflecting on some of my peer interactions that I realized my vocabulary was creating a rift between me and them, as several people as it as a way of me purposefully trying to make myself seem ‘better’ or ‘more educated’ when in reality I just forget a lot of simple words and end up using some ridiculous monstrosity in casual sentences.  The more I made that known about myself in interactions, and mentioning how much I read, helped my interactions because it helped people to better understand WHY I speak that way. This lesson has continued to help me throughout my life. 

Nine -- Missing Lectures is a Slippery Slope

My attendance rate was already a lost cause by the time I got to University (my highschool almost didn't let me graduate because I had an 87% absentee rate and something like 300 missed detentions but I was 1 of 3 Full Honors Students and they wanted the funding so they ecentually let me lol) but I have watched many a student crawl into this 'Chronic Skipping' pit with me in my years. Im not really sure why it happens, but basically as soon as you miss 2 lectures for no concrete reason (like a dentist appointment or cause your sick or something) it's game over for you. You'll miss two classes, then three, then four, then 2 a week, then 3 a week. Then you start skipping other subjects too. Then you end up like me and suddenly its the end of the term and you realize you've only attended 4 entire classes, one of which was the first day and the other 3 were exams. (True story, that was my 8am Political Science Class in my second year)

I hope this helps somewhat!!!! Let me know if you have any specific questions! 

And thank you lovely, I’m chugging along doing my best trying to get back into my creative bubble which for some reason seems to be rather elusive and hard to track down thus far. 

[tylerwritez]

Tuesday, june 22 2021

I've noticed I'm getting "the shiverys" or "the twitchy" a lot today. Like every time I FEEL something I take a moment to violently tic.... every time I think about certain things I tic.... good things, bad things, things from an hour ago and things from years ago. Tic, tic, tic.

Also, I have... some stuff to explain. Its really no big deal, but you know me: I'll freak out about it anyway. Basically I dissed my friend (rightfully so) around the time that we had just met cos they did something that threw me off.

He saw it in my phone... NOW. it's not RELEVANT anymore and I've since redacted that criticism...and now I gotta explain it to him anwyays. Oh well. I'm good at this stuff. I can get myself outta any situation. I dont even know why I'm talking like this tho... it's not a "Situation" it's just smthn I gotta explain rq.

Oh, today's song recommendation is Spirit Crusher by Death. I'm a huge Death fan...

Also! I gotta study... for my replacement exam. How stressful. Its about photosynthesis, but like, it's not simple. We went DEEP inside those fucking leaves.

One sec, lemme hook up my IV tube

Not an ACTUAL IV tube... just my headphones. But since I'm so #emo, it might as well be a fucking IV tube with the way that I cant live without it.

Its 3:08 and I'm walking home now. I was upset last night but me and Star have made up now lol... it was thAt easy. I'm so defective, making shit hard when it doesnt need to be.

It's so hot out damn. Idk. I had school today, so I had Bio class... I ACTUALLY PAID ATTENTION for once. I had lunch with Star and her friend group, and I honestly kinda feel like they're MY friends now too, even just a little bit.

Actually, I used to rant about feeling lonely like all the time but now I have so many friends it's crazy they all keep inviting me places and it's like people WANT ME AROUND... idk. It makes me happy.

Today I gotta ask if tommroow after school I can go to Bee's house to watch Supernatural (famous homoerotic ghost show)

I should also add songs to Erin's spotify playlist for our picnic saturday which I still need permission to go to.

I gotta ask for Wednesday after school to watch Insidious with Jay  which is apparently really good

Also hes the friend that I gotta explain stuff to... the DrAmA... the ThEaTrE....

Update my dad said yes to hanging out with Bee but first I'm gonna miss school to fix my broken brackets on my braces

Also turns out the house I THOUGHT we were moving into has substantial damage from shifting so... we aRENT moving there.

In case you didn't know, shifting is when like the house that's been built literally SHIFTS like it moves around.

Anwyays Jay just texted me... I'm gonna change into shorts since it's hot, set up my study area,.... and respond to him.

The time is 3:22 p.m.

Wish me. Luck.

Luck is plentiful! As it so often is in my risky, risky life.

I play my cards right. It's a learnt skill.

But also there wasnt much to explain since it passed already and was tiny anywyas.

XD so I've made up with the whole goddamn world by now.

Its 6:31, we saw 1 house. Only one. Its kinda hot out but I'm gonna bike now since we just had supper. I finally finished my homework... I just have to finish one mixed media piece as my final project for art!

Friday is my replacement. On photosynthesis and cell resp. We know this. But what I didn't mention, or I dont THINK I did, is that if I finish my art project before then I have the second block FREE!!! Me, Star, and her friend

A are planning to leave for second block and maybe get mint chocolate chip ice cream!

Also I might eat her out XD

Anyways idk. I hope I can bike tonight to call Jay.

I keep accidentally using people's real names here then having to correct it... I dont know how much i care about MY identity being discovered... but to have my friends doxxed would suck.

Man I feel bad abt saying fuck star last night cos we made up....

Wait we r looking at another house? Idk I'm in the car still waiting to go home

Oh wait no now we r goin home

Its 6:39... I hope I still have time.

I went biking, called Jay. Went home. Idk, friendly conversation... we talked more tonight and I also talked to my other friend A. Jay is... I LOVE HIM?? SO MUCH??? I feel so happy. Talking to him thinking about him seeing his STUPID FUCKING FACE JESUS. his eyes alone... I could stare at his face all day probably. I want to kiss him... hOLD HIS HAND... omg... huG HIM!!! Eofjwpxjwie he's so sweet like I can't even... and I'm proabably not good enough for him like. Wtf. Hes easily a 10. And I dont rate things outta 10. How tf do I end up with HIM? Doing stuff, as friends. Like wHAT. I guess I got lucky XD. He says he loves my personality and I'm hot XD ofc I dont see it myself. But like. JESUS CHRIST he could proabably easily pull whOever. XD me?

Whatever though. As long as we r together and stuff. I LOVE HIM A LOT. he said he loved me. Every time he says that it makes me so overly happy.

Maybe I'm just sappy and stuff.... whatever. I think it would be nice to be hugged by him.

Yeah I'm cheesy.

I'm sorta tired now so maybe I'm not writing the best.

I just keep thinkinf about love. Love is a muscle of evil suggestion. But how evil can it really be? I am just a human being and that is all. Everything else is applied. I am just a human being with soemthing in my heart that pulls me all over the place. Love is this strange thing because I'm fucked up and to be able to love without that fucked up part of me, without the damage... is this complicated, hard thing to do and I can NEVER tell if I'm doing it right but I know I'm DOING IT. I know I FEEL LOVE. And soemtimes it's such an intense thing like when you go to surf on a wave at the beach with ur belly but u hit it wrong and it's so big and overwhelming it washes over you and PULLS you down to the bottom and smushes your face into the sand and YOU CANT BREATHE jesus Christ it's like that.

Or maybe I just want to experience love as it should be felt.

Obviously all of my problems surrounding this Damage could be easily fixed if I went to therapy but. there are reasons I can't.

I LOVE a lot. Too much for my own good. Enough to hurt me, get me into trouble, etc etc but also... enough to liberate me. I LOVE. I love Jay. So much. LIKE. MY BRAIN ORBITS AROUND HIM CONSTANTLY THINKING OF HIM AND PRAISING HIM AND MWUAH HE IS SO LOVELY I BOW BEFORE HIM...

I think as much as I love, a lot of the times I tend to focus even more on BEING loved.

If I am told I am loved, and shOwN I am loved... it is one of the most powerful things. Especially since I was literally emotionally neglected in childhood... yeah. I feel like I'm always trying to fill that hole.

Not EVERY feeling I have is for that reaosn but sometimes, if you tell me you love me, show me you love me, hug me,... I'll like start crying,,, that's the childhood emotional neglect kicking in. If you call me #smol and #cute and say I look young and fragile which happens more often than you'd think XD, I know I'm not supposed to like that shit, so I act like I dont....but I do. Which is PROBABLY ALSO THE CEN 🤪  like whatever lol

Anwyays I'm fucked up

You see how quickly things become complicated in my mind?

Convoluted? Is that the word?

Whatever. I OVERCOMPLICATE THINGS COS I OVERTHINK THEM BECAUSE I'm LITERALLY MENTALLY ILL IN SO MANY DIFFERENT WAYS. I'm not joking. I obviously have unresolved undiagnosed "issues"

I do Suspect things, though.

I can make a list

Maybe I shouldn't.

Maybe I will.

I shouldnt.

Whatever.

I used to hate when people brought up my self harm. I would actually panic. I still self harm but now? Now I'm fine with anyone  talking about it as long as it's not an adult who can get me into trouble/force me into therapy over it. Because really? I kinda like having it mentioned. It's kinda validating and it's like hey... people can see that I'm sick.

I dont do it so people talk to me about it though. Dont get me wrong. If I did, I'd go vertically on the arms, not for suicide but so it healed and people would ask XD.

My scars are actually VERY hidden... cos I never intended for ANYONE to see. But for those who DO see them,,,, it's nice soemtimes to have people express concern.

I dont wanna be PITIED or anything, but idk I just think to myself "wow, they're CONCERNED... about ME... they arent angry or mean... they didnt yell at me or threaten me... they respect my autonomy and privacy...

And they CARE ABOUT ME..." and it makes me cry.

That's also the CEN.

I dont know. I just like when people express genuine concern. Even if they see and then just ask if I'm okay. That's all it takes cos then I go wow.

Its validating and irs lovely because finally people care... FINALLY PEOPLE CARE. FINALLY I GET SOME EMPATHY OR SYMPATHY AND NO ANGER.

Even just having them brought up tells me its noticeable enough

My brain does this thing where it thinks nothing bad that's ever happened to me was Bad Enough for me to be upset about.

And I dont know... its nice sometimes to be told shit like "omg that looks so bad" or to see that people who do see my cuts are somewhat shocked or revolted... it's nice because I go... "hey, it was bad enough for them..."

Or to have people comment on them with concern. Just ANYTHINT WHERE PEOPLE NOTICE IT AND ARENT ASSHOLES ABOUT IT IS VALIDATING.

Because I'm not used to that...

Because CEN

I'm. The worst perosn on the fucking planet.

I should kill myself.

I suddenly actually feel so self hating I do want to kill myself... oh god.

I ruin everything. Everything. Everything. Everything. What have I done. Like. Why. Oh god.

I'm just remembering when Star said my kindness seemed like an act. And how I've been called out for seeming fake like 2 other times.

DO I SEEM FAKE???? I DONT EVER PUT ON ACTS OF KINDESS.... CONCIOUSLY? but the very idea that I could be perceived that way...

Should I like not try to be nice or some shit?

Jesus christ she hurts my feelings even now when it was a long time ago.

But I cant blame her. I can't blame anyone for how i feel except my parents because they left me with fucking. Heart nerve damage or some shit.

I'm tired and now I'm sad too. Goodnight guys.

[itsbangtangang]

Little did she know...

Paring: BTS Jungkook x Tan skin reader (black/brown girl, idk)

Genre: College au | Fluff | A tiny angst | Smut |

Words: 6,200

Warning: Idk, I’m just thirsty asf for this boy

Summary: Jungkook, the only one who melted the Ice queen’s heart, and viceversa.

Chapter 1

You were a kind girl. A kind yet a bad girl.

You are a kind girl because you help people, you are friendly, you go easy with people and you are quite intelligent. But you are considerate a bad girl because you turn down all the boys’ requests. You are not a bad person though, but you hate boys. In college there were a lot of boys, however, you didn't seem interested in any. Even your friends were surprised at your actions.

"Hey Y / N, what do you think about the new Asian group? I think they are so cute! But, not only cute, also great visuals and stunned bodies," said Jane, the friend who always brought gossip.

This Asian group came from Korea. People thinks they are popstars. They look like, but apparently they aren’t, they just came to study like everybody in your campus do.

"Mm, I don't know. I haven't seen them, and I'm sure I don't care at all." You said without even looking away from the book you were reading.

"You're so childish. Are you really not interested in men? Are you a lesbian or something?" Jane said with a frown.

"Of course I am not, dumbass. But if you want a little kiss from me, it's fine. All you have to do is ask babygirl." You said with a playful voice pouting your lips at her.

When you were talking...

"OMFG look! Are they! Oh God that’s Jungkook! He's so fucking handsome. I didn't know that Asians could be so attractive," Jane said in a whisper when she saw the famous group of Asian boys approaching that dining area.

All of them were extremely attractive. In a moment you felt attacked by the incredible beauty that these boys emanated with each step they took in the dining room hallway. Surprising.

"So ... those are the famous guys you say where is the great Jungkook you talk about so much?" You said without taking your eyes off of them.

"Bitch. Yes. I told you this since this morning. I told you that they are exchange students until they finish their respective careers." Jane said.

Apparently the girl knew more than just their arrival.

"Wow! You also know about their sex life? Lol you're too maniacal.". Playfully you raised an eyebrow to your bouncing ass friend who seems too excited about what you asked.

"Of course I do! Apart from being the new university stars, people say they are the baddest boys we can find. I've heard rumors from their Korean classmates where they said their dicks don't fit in their pussies! That is crazy bro!". Jane had a funny and overwhelming tone of voice. Her eyes went wide when she said the last part.

"Wow wow wow. Calm down Jane. How the fuck you know everything abo- No, why do you know that kind of shitty things about them? Are you crazy? Sick? Jesus…". Now it’s time for your eyes to go wide.

“Omg you are so annoying.” She smacked your hand, chuckling at your pained expression.

Maybe, the boys are very handsome, however, you didn't seem interested at all, or at least, not as much as Jane does.

As classes almost started, you and Jane were heading towards the classroom when two of the boys were at the entrance of the class. The boy with pink hair stopped and looked in your direction. It’s beautiful. He's beautiful. He had pink, fleshy lips, his eyes were small but penetrating, his body is exaggeratedly toned and the smile he put on when he saw that you were approaching them was lovely. Instead, the boy next to him was a little taller, with black long hair, dark as his eyes, his front lip was small and denoting his bunny smile, his body was even more muscular than the boy other boy, and in his face was reflected that he is a fuckboy just by following the trail of his gaze located on the ass of the girls entering and leaving the classroom. A whole fuckboy. Smh.

"Omg Y/N! They are looking at us!”. Said Jane feeling overwhelmed by their watching.

"So what? Just enter the classroom." You said feeling a bit nervous because this dark haired boy turned his face towards you. For a moment, you swore he was looking at you like you was a meal. His gaze was on your boobs every time they bounced when you stepped.

You both were about to enter the classroom when:

"Wow! Hello misses". Said the pink haired boy with an angelic smile.

"OMG! Hi handsome boys, nice to meet the two most handsome boys in this area”. Omg. Not today Jane, please no. This girl really was something else.

You just smiled because you weren’t feeling like a crazy bitch jumping just because of the new boys like every girl on the campus.

At the other hand, the other one boy just kept silent, looking at you. When you caught him, he smirked to your way full knowing you were a bit ashamed by the way he bit his lip looking dead straight to your eyes.

“May I know your names?”. Said the lovely boy.

Before you had the chance to answer, Jane had already done it for you. This lil’ hoe

“I’m Jane Parker, and this is my friend Y/N. Nice to meet you guys”. That high pitched voice… but yes, she’s your friend. Your best friend to tell the truth.

“Y/N… nice name”. The smirk never leaved his face, it was kind of part of his handsome face. Honestly you wanted to brush it off.

“Yeah. By the way I’m Jimin, and this is my friend Jungkook. We are kind of new here”. Said this boy named Jimin. Really, his smile is very lovely.

“Great! So why are you guys here?”

“I think we have classes here”. Said Jungkook.

When he finished talking to Jane, que looked at your way again, EYEING you. This boy was looking at you like he had never seen a brown skinned girl ever in his entire life. Of course you were very aware of what he was doing but you didn’t know why he was acting like that with you, only you. Or maybe, this is how he interact with girls, or maybe flirt with girls.

“What do you guys study?”. You asked, just to make him do other things but looking at your side.

“Video making, and Jimin is a computer engineer. Guess what? Everybody have to take this class”. Oh, you were so fucking wrong. He didn’t take his eyes away from you. He even was smirking while biting his bottom lip! Jesus…

“Yeah, that’s true. I’m Y/N´s friend but she’s a freshman so maybe she didn’t know about this…” said Jane eyeing you, searching for a response.

“I gotta go to my seat”. You said changing the subject because you were getting mad.

When you reached your seat, you noticed Jane kept talking to them, then came inside and took a seat. But not her seat with you, instead she was with Jimin. She had leave you alone just so she could seat with one of the new boys. She looked back, saw you see her, and throw a little heart with her fingers while you were narrowing your eyes at her.

Then lucky wasn’t on your side this day, Jungkook were coming to sit with you. It’s not that bad, but your still were the so called “ice queen”.

“Can I?”. He asked but already took the seat. Why would he ask when he can just take it(?

“I don’t know. Do you want to sit here?”. You said with that very fluent sarcasm of yours.

He just laughed. His bunny teeth showing off made his smile genuine. He looked cute.

The class started and you had part of your attention there, but you don’t think the same for Jungkook. You felt his gaze over you a thousand of times but you brushed it off and continued paying attention to the professor.

“And for the final project, you guys need to do a group of four or five partners, choose your subject and please choose each other. Next week you will tell me the subject you had pick and start work on it. Have a good day”. And like this, the professor ended the class. And now you have to find a group were you can be a part.

“What are you looking for?”. Jungkook asked a bit concerned by the look you gave him.

“Huh? I- I’m looking for a group”. You smiled at him but at that moment…

“Ayeee my bootygirl, you in with us?” Jane asked with Jimin by her side.

“Are you kidding me right now? Using that nickname?” You glared at her. How dare she?

“You know I am a hoe for your ass, but the real question here is if you wanna be with us in the project group?” At least she was serious. This time.

You looked at her, then looked at Jimin, then looked at Jungkook, then looked at Jane again. They all were looking at you waiting for your response. You saw Jungkook lick his lips but you were too worried for what could come out of your mouth.

“Well, I guess I have no more options”. You rolled your eyes at them.

“Guess what? We are starting tomorrow so be ready to come to our flat”. Jimin said with a grin on his face. He is cute but that smile seems more like a smirk than a cute grin.

“We what? Oh no boy. This ain’t it. I’m not going to anyone’s flat”. You stated.

“It’s not like you are going alone, Y/N. I may as well go with you. We aren’t best friends for no reason”. She was right, but…

“Why not? Why you look so pressed up about going to boys’ houses?” Stated Jungkook, looking deep in your eyes. You felt he was concerned about it because he thinks he annoys you or you feel uncomfortable being with him.

“We don’t even know each other that well to be in someone’s house. That shit is weird”. It was true, it’s kind of weird when you don’t know them but have to go to their house.

“Well if you want to know us, let’s go to eat something tonight. It’s that okay?” Jimin showed you a face that told you he was being serious about this. Maybe you could trust them. Maybe.

“Are you serious, Jimin? You don’t have t- “. You cut Jane off…

“It’s okay. I’ll be ready at 6:30pm. You better be there”. You said with a very serious tone that had Jane shivering because she knows you weren’t playing.

“Send me your location and I’ll be waiting for you outside your house at 6:30”. Now it was time for Jimin to be smirking at you.

Of course you throw them a smirk before walking outside of the class pulling at Jane’s hand.

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“Are you serious? We seriously are going out with them? No no… you really meant what you said?” Asked Jane obviously surprised because of your actions. This was new on you.

“Huh... yeah. I meant it. But you know? I don’t know what to wear, I have nothing new with me. It’s not like college don’t consume everything from me”. You scoffed feeling like a lose puppy.

“Just because we are going out with them thanks to you, I will let you borrow a cute dress of mine”. Jane always let you wear or use her things. She´s like an angel in your life.

“I’m not using one of your “cute” ones because I know what you mean, you ho’ ”. You know for facts that “cute” mean her bitch ass tiny tight dresses. She had always wanted you to wear any of her hoe clothes but you always declined her suggestions.

“Ugh. I’m telling you, if I see you wearing pants it’s going to be the end of your fucking boring life”. Wow. She was cutely mad serious. You love her ass though.

“Okay calm down babygirl. Tell me, what you have in mind?”. You really wanted to try one so, what could go wrong?

Jane go through her wardrobe looking for something you can wear, though she knows not all of her clothes fits you because of your ass. It’s not that you hate it, it’s just a little bigger than hers, and Jane’s mini dresses fits you barely beneath your ass cheeks.

“Okay I think I got it. You know I love your ass, but maybe if you teach me how the fuck you did it that big maybe we could share more clothes”. Jane playfully smacked you then giggled herself by your side to show you the dresses.

She was playing but she always teases you with your booty. Grab it like it´s her toy. Play with it. Sleeps in it. What does not she do with you?

“I think this pale pink one is cute. It matches your skin and is not that short… I guess. Well with an ass like that everything will look shorter than it is”. Okay that’s it.

“Can you stop talking about my ass and give me the damn dress?”. You weren’t mad but seriously, Jane can be talking about you and your body for the whole day.

“You go bitch. Let me see you after you put it on”. She smiled at you. Jane is beautiful just the way she is. And she knows it. She just loves you so much that she wants to see you be happy, and beautiful because her fashionista persona won’t let you walk out wearing some shitty clothes.

You had gone to try on it, then looked at yourself in the mirror. It was a beautiful dress, with long laced sleeves, a long v cut in the back, and the skirt wasn’t that short. It fitted you well, but you started to feel insecure about your curves. Sure you have a great body, but you didn’t feel it.

“Y/N, yo… you good in there? Are you done?” asked Jane at the other side of the door.

“H-huh. Yeah. I’m just…”. You kept silent for a moment, then Jane opened the door slowly enough to not scare you.

“Y/N you look so gorgeous. Why do you look so worried about that? You know I’m not lying. I´ve never lied to you”. She said, then gave you a good hug which you welcomed a bit too sad.

“Don’t worry about what people might say, you are wearing this because you want to. Because you feel amazingly beautiful and you are confident about it. I love you”. Jane might make you cry right know just saying what you need to hear. She always tells you what do you wanna hear.

“I love you too. Thank so much. I’m glad you are my bestie”. You said sobbing, feeling better.

“Yeah, I’m glad too but please hurry the fuck up we only have 10 minutes left and you don’t have put on make-up yet”. She pulled at your hand before you could protest.

Your bestfriend is rich in love… and money too, so she has the perfect things to make you look like a doll. She is rich and all, but it doesn’t matter when it comes to her and her friends because she is humble with everybody. Not bragging about her money, her parents, her apartment, her car, not even her clothes. And this is what you liked the most of her. Purely sincerity.

“It’s time. Let’s go to see if they are already waiting for us like my lovely daddy Jimin promised”. Jane said grabbing at her purse. You grabbed yours, cringing at what she said, closed the door and then went by the elevator.

“Do you think they really agreed so easily to what I said?”. You said feeling insecure about them. You don’t know them so maybe they were joking with you making you think y’all will go get dinner.

“We will see when we get out of here”. Said Jane looking at her phone to check the time.

Once you get out of the elevator, you headed to the door of the hotel, and for your surprise they weren’t there. There was no sign of they. You felt angry at your foolishness thinking they would really agree so easily with what you requested.

“it doesn’t matter. I can invite you to dinner. They can’t hurt my sissy like this. Hold on a second imma get my ca- “. Jane interrupted herself with what came to you both at that moment.

At you, were standing two beautifully handsome boys getting out of a luxury car. If you weren’t wrong., you swear the car is a Lamborghini Hurricane 2019. Do they have that much money?

“I swear you girls look so fucking fine. It’s a perfectly match for us, you know?” Jimin said., already smiling at you both and rising his eyebrows in surprise.

He looked so fucking nice. Its wasn’t anything too formally, but you knew what he was wearing is expensive as fuck. A long white Gucci shirt, black tight jeans that marked his God toned thighs and white Gucci shoes. He was amazingly a goddess converted in an ordinary human. But the who caught your attention was Jungkook. Although what he was wearing was an all-black outfit, he looked attractive. A black Peter England buttons shirt with also black tight ass jeans with his fucking goddess thighs you wanted ride to, and black Balenciaga’s speed runner. And you don’t dismiss his faces look. With his long hair barely touching his jawline. Agh, this boy has a high level on looks. So fucking handsome.

“And you both look so fucking handsome omg! But Jimin’s hair got him out of league, sorry Jungkook”. Jane were so fucking whipped about Jimin and his damn hair. Jungkook just laughed. You wanted to cringe but then Jungkook told you something.

“Miss Y/N, you look so beautiful tonight. H-huh... It’s not that you were u-ugly this morning though”. He shyly smiled at you, scratching the back of his neck. So cute.

“Thanks, I guess? Lol, you look good too, I guess…”. You smiled at him, lowering your gaze because of his powerful one.

“Okay let’s go; we are going to be late”. And with that said, Jungkook opened de door for you and Jane and you guys were out of road.

The trip is calm. There were small comments and some laughs from Jane when Jungkook commented that whenever they go out with girls Jimin falls or stumbles. You arrived. The trip wasn’t so long so you think this place is almost 30min away from your place. When you got off of the car, you were greeted by a long grass greener with grass and stone figures accompanied by a fountain of lights and water in the front yard of the area.

Jimin noticed your amusement. He shyly smiled watching the joy in your eyes.

“Let’s go in”. He said, moving his hand towards Jane, then walked at the front door. They look perfect together, but as you said, you don’t really know not even their intentions so you don’t know what to think about it.

They were walking with their hands clasped, while you and Jungkook had some space between you both, so you stopped.

"Jungkook." you called him. A bit nervous for what might be the response and the kind of question you were going to tell him.

“Huh? Yeah, Y/N, what’s up?” He gently asked. You were fearing asking but you did it anyways.

“Are you- huh, do you feel uncomfortable being w-with me? I don’t know. J-just asking, though”. You were nervous and you don’t know why.

“Why would I be?”. Simple as hell. His doe-eyes looking at yours like there was nothing more than you in front of his eyes.

You remained silent. How stupid it should have sounded.

“Y/N, listen carefully. Are you seriously thinking I have something against you? Me? Jungkook? In full 2019?” He asked, surprised by your question and your face. Do you look so dumb?

“I- Sorry. I just thought… I mean, you look kind of distant so I were assuming- “. Jungkook interrupted you.

“So you think I am a racist, don’t you? Look, Y/N, how could I be “racist” in your mind when I have been eyeing you since this morning, huh?” He blurted out. His expression was very serious.

Of course you didn’t think he were joking.

“I- huh… we barely know each other, Jungkook, t-that’s why I thought…”. You were looking everywhere but him, you didn’t know how to act at this point. You already have loosed your cool.

“It doesn’t matter when you are this beautiful. Your skin is fucking beautiful and it is what attract me the most of you. I don’t care if you wear wigs or not, it’s kind of funny but I know you are gorgeous with or without them. Your lips are a bit big but they look kissable as fuck and I can’t wait for you to let me taste them.”. Smirking at you, he took a step closer to you and, looking down at you has you feeling too small in that space.

“I- You- Jungkook, d-did you just confessed to me?” Your eyes went big at that. Seriously. You, the ice queen, falling for someone for so long?

“I- well, y-yeah. I admit that you got me crazy and we barely know each other but, I really feel something every time I see you, and it’s not just my dick. I don’t think you feel the same but I just wanted to tell you this because you were thinking so lowly of me. I can fall in love with you and it doesn’t matter if I am Asian and you are a brown skin girl”. He placed his hands on your waist and lowered his face to your level just to tell you:

“And you look so fucking delicious on this dress, it makes me want to rip it off, put one of those boobs in my mouth and smack that ass until you can’t walk”. He lowered his voice, melting in your ears and looking mad deep in your eyes.

You noticed his pupils darkened at his owns words, followed by his tongue coating his lips, faced inches away from yours, when…

“Y/N! Come on guys. You can eat each other when we are done eating”. Jane shouted at the door of the luxury restaurant you guys went by.

“Guess we finish this conversation later”. Said Jungkook. He took your hand and dragged you inside.

You, at that moment were perplexed. Everything he said felt unreal. You don’t even have words to reply to what he said.

Jimin and Jane were sitting close to each other, so it means you have to sit next to Jungkook. Yes, the same Jungkook that confessed to you a few minutes ago, but also made you wet with the thoughts that were behind such a confession.

They brought the menus and everyone was busy watching what to order to eat.

Everything there was expensive, you didn't want to order a lot of food because you didn't want to take advantage of the situation anymore, but at that moment you noticed that someone was looking at you a lot. It was Jungkook. His gaze was penetrating so you could only give him a very small smile on your part.

"Don't worry, Y/N, choose what you want." he said, seeing concern in your eyes.

You turned your face towards him and now your smile was a little more reliable. He also looked relaxed.

While you were waiting for your food, you guys were talking about your lives in order to get to know each other. But of course, you couldn't miss Jungkook looking in your direction.

The expensive food arrived and everybody started eating.

While eating, you felt something touched your thigh so you, without hiding, looked down the table. Jungkook’s hand were on you. He wasn’t doing anything, just got it there, resting on your thigh. Without looking at him you started eating again. Then you felt… His hand were caressing your skin. His nails nagging at your skin every so often. Its noting, just a lil’ touch.

Then his hand hiked your dress up until it was touching your inner thigh. You stopped eating. You took a moment to look at his face but he wasn’t looking at you no more. He was acting. While Jimin and Jane were talking nonsense to your ears, Jungkook were trying to touch your wet undies until he reached them. Jena was distracted by her own goddess so she can’t guess what it’s happening down there. That’s why Jungkook took the opportunity to taste de waters.

His fingers reached your core. His pointer pressing hard trough your panties, leaving your mouth agape by his bold actions. You looked at him and this time he got his eyes on you. On your eyes. Then on your mouth. Pressing more hard he watched how you reacted. You completely stopped eating. It looks weird, so Jungkook leaned to your ear.

“You need to behave well, babygirl. Keep eating so they would not suspect”. His. Fucking. Low. Voice. Making you more wet than you were.

You just looked at him with pleading eyes as your pussy were gasping for some touch, while he was looking at you with narrowed, sharp eyes watching every move you did. Then he stopped, and so you started eating again. A minute had passed and he has you squirming under his hidden touch. Jungkook pushed aside your wet panty to brush your clit ever so slightly, then hit you pluging one of his thick fingers in. You started coughing .

“Oh… you okay?” asked Jane, remembering you were together in a dinner,

You just hummed because you were sure if you opened your voice at that moment you were about to let out the prettiest moan you ever had in your life.

While you were trying to muffle your moans, you looked at Jungkook and he were chuckling. Is he serious? Then that grin returned to the original smirk on his face, and so started murdering your aching core again. He moved his finger in and out in a slowly pace in order for you to not get you so worked out, then added a second digit. You closed your eyes for a moment, enjoying the nice stretch he was giving you. At the other hand, Jungkook watched your face every time, full joy on his face as your expressions were looking more fucked up. When you opened your eyes again, your pupils had blowing out, dark eyes looking everywhere but him. Your sweet bomb lips parted lightly leaving small gaps and the hand holding the fork was shaking. Everything you were doing has Jungkook getting worked out. He swore that nobody ever had him like you have him.

He knows you are reaching your climax, so he went on it fast and hard.

“Come on, Y/N, let me feel you coming down all over my fingers. You know you want it as much as I want to”. He leaned, whispering to your ear and licking it slightly has you shivering. Then you reached your high.

It almost had you screaming in that place but you bit your lip hard to muffle whatever strangled sound trying to escape. Your hips lifted a bit from the chair and, as your walls clutched close, your thighs did same, locking Jungkook’s hand up between them.

You thanked God for not letting Jane know what was happening under that table, and the place is highly expensive to be so crowded.

“You did good, huh? Maybe, I’ll reward you later. Only if you let me, of course”. Jungkook said, letting his finger slid out, taking his hand off of you and licking his digit after the mess he made. That is so damn sexy.

“Reward her for what?” Jane surprised the fuck down of you both. You turned to Jungkook with wide eyes, not knowing what to say.

You froze.

“Reward her for being a good girl”. He simply said. Looking at you with his not so innocent doe-eyes. You were dead at this time.

“A good girl, huh?” She said, smirking at your shocked expression remaining silent.

“Yeah. We all enjoyed the dinner so it means you and Y/N can come to our flat”. He said, relaxing further in the chair so his hand was caressing your knee.

“Oh, so that’s what you meant… well yeah, I think we are good now, aren’t we?” All of them were waiting for your response, looking at you, again.

You hated being the main reason of all this situation.

“I-… I g-guess so”. Your voice sounded so tiny.

“Alright. Are we leaving now?”. Jane said so you guys were getting off of the table.

You were mentally preparing yourself to get up after, when you felt hands on your shoulders. You jumped.

“Omg Jungkook. Are you trying to kill me now?” You looked dramatic but in reality your heart was pulsing so hard you thought it could come out of your chest.

“Calm down Y/N. Let me help you”. He grabbed you by your arms so you didn’t have to try so hard since his arms were incredibly strong.

He walked you at the entrance because you were stumbling each two steps. Jimin and Jane were waiting for you both in front of the car. The smirk never leaving their faces. They didn’t even bother to hidden it.

“It’s still early, don’t you girls wanna have a little fun after here?” Asked Jimin. He looked like the type of guy who hype everybody to go to parties.

“I don’t know, only if Y/N want or feel like it”. Said Jane. She would not do anything you didn’t want to do, even if she has a big crush on Jimin.

“I-I’m tired. Maybe next time, but if you wanna go, then do it”. A lot of things had happened today, you need to process them in your room, alone.

“Really? You won’t get mad at me if I go with them?” Jane asked. Amusement in her voice. She takes care of you but if you let her have her fun, then she takes advantage of it. Of course she will.

“Don’t worry, I’ll be okay. I will call an uber”. You said grabbing your phone but then…

They didn’t say anything, so you assume your taxi must better come fast so they can fuck it up at some party.

You watched Jimin and Jungkook with their phones and Jimin showed something to Jane, but you assumed they were talking with their seniors/parents/etc.  based on their expressions.

When the taxi came, you were not expecting what happened at this moment. Jane and Jimin got in before you. You clearly said you were going home. Why the hell did they got in the damn cab?

“What are you guys doing? If you are going to fuck there, then I’m not going you assholes”. You said, not knowing why in hell they got in the car.

“Babe, you know I’m not gonna disturb your stupid sleeping ass beauty with my pretty moans so, guess we are going to the party and Jungkook will get you home”. Simple. As. Fuck. And she just smiled at you then ordered to the chauffer to get them the fuck outta there.

Well, damn.

“Guess you are going with me, babygirl”. Said Jungkook leaning on your shoulder behind you.

“O-oh… b-but, isn’t this Jimin’s car?” You thought that car was from Jimin since he’s the older one.

“Oh… t-this car is mine. Jimin’s one is where the mechanic, that's why we couldn't bring it”. He said, scratching the back of his neck.

“Do you guys have that much money?” Quirking an eyebrow as you said this.

“We are not idiots; Y/N. We work on our own company while we study. It’s not hard but neither simple”.

“I- oh, sorry. But I-I didn’t think you were a bunch of idiots, I just… could not figure it out”. You were out of your mind. They are too young to have fancy cars like that, fancy style of clothes and tons of money.

“You don’t have to. I know it’s hard to believe, but we don’t care about it. We are just making money by ourselves and that’s what matters. Just let it fly”. And with a shrug, he was opening the door for you.

You got in, he got in, and the car started towards the main road.

The trip back to home was more calmed than the one going to eat at that fancy restaurant, but it did not distract you from the fact that for the first time you were alone with Jungkook. It’s not that bad, but with what happened just before, you thought the air was getting heavier between you two. But again Jungkook were breaking the ice.

“So… you are a freshman”. He said, without taking his eyes off the road.

“Huh? Uh… yeah. I am.”. you said, uncertain about why did he ask you that.

“You don’t look like one. Are you a minor?” Okay, what?

“I’m not, you fool. But if you want to consider me as a minor then it is okay for me”. You shrug.

He chuckled. “I don’t want to. You look like a little girl but indeed you are a whole woman.”

“So are you telling me you see me as a woman, not as a girl?”.

“Well, I don’t want to see you as a minor. To me you are a woman with a cute, teenager sassy ass attitude”

“What the hell it means?” You chuckled at that. This boy makes funny replies.

“It means I do want to do bad things to you but your thoughts are too limited to believe someone like me sees you more than an “Ice queen”. And I know, we are still strangers but I want to get to know you, and I want to take my time with you. I really do”. He stopped the car just to look deep in your eyes, making sure you see his sincerity.

“I-i… You always left me without words. Why do you always have to act so fucking cute yet handsome while telling this kind of things? Geez”. You glared at him although you were feeling butterflies in your stomach.

“I will make you feel things your exes did not allow you to feel, Y/N. I will make you feel as much love as you need. So please, let me take care of you, huh?” Omg. His doe-eyes were getting crystalized. His face showing as much love as his words did. He looked so beautiful, you wanted to peck at his rosy lips.

“Jungkook- “. You didn’t even finish when his lips were crashing into yours. A passionate, gentle, soft kiss.

You enjoyed the moment. He moved his face aside to deepen the kiss, allowing your tongue to enter his mouth. Then the kiss got rougher. He bit you lip and you moaned in his mouth. Then you stopped. A strain of saliva connecting your lips, evidence that you both were enjoying the kiss, the hungry it got.

“That… that was amazing Y/N. W-why did you stop?” He looked hurt, but you really needed to say something.

“I… yes, i-I liked it too, but I need to tell you something. Jungkook, i-i… we need time. I know we are not kids but, like I really, really need more time to get this together”.

“O-oh… yeah, I understand you. And, as I said, I want to take it slow with you so, I will wait for you no matter how many time it will took you”. He said, holding your hands in his. It was so unreal. He was so ethereal.

“Jungkook, you are melting my bitch ass ice heart so you better take care of it while you wait for me, huh?”. You said, pouting at him like a puppy.

“I got it, princess”. He pecks you and started driving again, holding your hand until he reached your apartment.

“So, you coming tomorrow? If you want, I can wait for you to go together”. Once again, he was scratching the back of his neck. You already know he is nervous. The cute Jeon Jungkook.

“I will text you when I’m done. See ya”. Already opening the door when…

“Good night little princess”. He said.

You looked back, his dark eyes shining as if they dropped from the sky. He was so beautiful.

“Good night… little boy”. And with that you were done.

Jungkook waited for you to get inside and reach your apartment until you switched the light on.

That night, after he jerk off he’s so long hard-on, Jungkook never ever had sleep so good since he entered this college.

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yeah, another one. and im sorry about the reader thing but i like it the way it is going. hope u like it :)

[caliburn-the-sword]

final cress thoughts!!!!

i absolutely inhaled that book holy shit lol. got winter at the bookstore today because shipment just arrived and i gotta say it's HELLA chonky. i am EXCITED. of course fairest will have to come first

since the plan has been explained to us the readers, that means it's DEFO gonna go wrong (note: it did - sybil ambushed them)

god why is cress married to everyone. first thorne now wolf

rolling my eyes sighing bile is rising in my throat. i CANNOT take this alpha nonsense. admittedly when cress says it in a brightest star of a constellation way, that's cute. unfortunately the omegaverse connotations cancels it out completely

OMG CINDER AND KAI FINALLY. I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR SO LONG. rip to everyone that was reading these as they came out because i can't imagine how PAINFUL it would have been to wait two years for them to see each other again as opposed to me just binging the books across like 3 weeks max by the time i finish the series

respect for torin holy shit that must have been SUCH a hard choice for him to make to not only let the prince go but to reveal his tracker chip

NO ERLAND IS NOT ALLOWED TO HAVE LETUMOSIS AND HE'S NOT ALLOWED TO DIE AND HE HAS TO REUNITE WITH CRESS. CRESS NEEDS TO KNOW. I AM LITERALLY IN STUDIES OF RELIGION CLASS RN I CAN'T DEAL WITH THIS PAIN

I KNEW IT I KNEW IT I KNEW IT THE PLAGUE IS BIOWARFARE. i'm a genius. but the mutated strain was just genuinely a coincidence judging by levana's reaction LMAO

was absolutely baffled why tf thorne was kissing cress before i remembered the promise he made. i feel sickly and nauseous. get off that minor rn

as much as i hate thorne. gotta admit that the shooting scene was badass

YES SYBIL TAKE THAT, BITCH

wonder who the queen is married to

i respect every ounce of rebellion in erland's bones. yeah piss off the queen!!

grossed out by cress and thorne some more. please man keep pushing her away. literally his responsibility as an adult. ew

holy shit scarlet actually lost her finger

it's nice to properly meet winter

something very strange seems to be going on with winter. master and pet lunar stuff?? weird af. wants to be besties?? girl are you even understanding the situation?? also has she never met a ranga before??? is she HIGH????? and what's with the role playing games??? she's somehow more delulu than cress, acts even YOUNGER than her actual age than cress does

winter seems to THINK that she was friends with cinder. interesting. once again i want cinder to get her memories of pre-fire back real bad

winter is a SIMP for jacin

OH I'M SO DUMB HOW DIDN'T I REALISE THAT SHE WOULD BE DELULU BECAUSE SHE DOESN'T USE HER GLAMOUR. respect for winter has increased. this means that ALL the time scarlet spent thinking about how beautiful winter is was the truth LMAO. gay gay homosexual gay. is it too much to hope for a polycule?? they'd literally be like parks and rec. "i'm wolf andthis is my gf scarlet, this is her gf winter, this is winter's bf jaycin".

ofc a lake on the moon is gonna be called artemisia lake LOL. now we've had one moon titan and one moon goddess reference. chang'e when????

NOT FARAFRAH. i bet you all found it downright HILARIOUS when i went on about how much i love farafrah back in one of the other posts

ngl think it's too early for cinder and kai to be eating each other's faces. kai got over his issues REAL fast lol. idk how i feel about it but willing to see where winter takes us

i didn't even think of the implication because i don't consider kai and levana legitimately engaged so i find it HILARIOUS that the silly family tree of kai being engaged to one woman and then making out with her niece. reminds me of ouat

revolutionary cinder ftw

speculation for fairest:

i did the maths and realised that since levana is like 30 and cinder is 16 then she was about 17 years old when she decided that cinder just had to go. I'M 17. cannot imagine killing a 3 year old. cray z. and then she was even YOUNGER than that when she killed her sister for the throne. ALSO insane. that will be one deeply disturbed mind to dive into in fairest

read the blurb and don't exactly have anymore thoughts other than trying to figure out who the in universe equivalent to her REAL husband would be since we're defo getting backstory on that. since she's the evil queen then it must be winter's father "the good king", however because of the blurb i reckon it's some kind of "mirror mirror on the wall" figure. idk what exactly that would entail. some kind of royal adviser???

speculation for winter, because i don't want to forget everything i'm thinking by the time i'm done reading fairest:

mother reveal for cress - i don't remember if any lunar scientists have been mentioned or named yet, but i WILL be keeping an eye out. i suspect someone who has something to do with the wolf soldier hybrids, she might even know wolf. regardless hope the bitch dies

father reveal for cinder

from the way jacin calls garan linh's device an equaliser, it's DEFINITELY gonna be reproduced in this book, ESPECIALLY with winter going all delulu, and the way cinder is concerned about becoming like levana

jacin pov chapters now that miss marissa doesn't have to make his motivations and loyalties ambiguous

ngl i HATE prequels, ESPECIALLY when they're about the villain of the story, and i often skip them. i'm a bit apprehensive about going into fairest, but i want to have the proper reading experience of tlc, and it's important to the story. putting my personal feelings aside and hoping for the best!!

@eddisfargo @francforever @winterrhayle @winterpinetrees @shellyseashell

[intothewickedwood]

Once Upon A Time Rewatch: 3x19 A Curious Thing

Shouldn’t Aurora and Phillip’s baby, Phillip Jr. have magic as he’s the product of true love too?

Oh no! They monkeys!

I forgot Henry didn’t remember Regina was his mum!

It sort of bothers me that now anyone can break the dark curse. It takes away from Emma’s role as the Saviour. I think she should have remained the only one who could break the dark curses but that would be a little difficult, given that she does believe the book is real.

Emma, it’s true, Henry has been through a lot of difficult things, but he would want to remember them!

Omg, Zel’s so extra getting that rose and tracing Killian’s lips with it lol!

Zelena: “Why haven’t you used those luscious lips and kissed Emma?” My girl would do anything for her otp!

Regina to Robin: “Where you come from people babe in the river and use pinecones for money.”

Where’s the dark forest?

Oh! MM just said that when she gave Henry the book, he was realising he’d been given up. That must mean that Henry only found out he was adopted not long before Emma came to town!

Henry, you can’t just run home on your own!

Snow: “After true love there is no more powerful magic than footwear. It has to be protected.”

I wonder why MM is the only one who can find the book/the book always seems to appear to her. It must be something to do with having hope! Unless MM has some unknown magic or tie to dark curses.

Snow is so hurt by Emma wanting to leave Storybrooke! My poor girl! When she hurts I freaking hurt! Please Emma, think of your mama! You’re gonna break her heart! She waited so long to be with you! She loves you so much!

Glinda must be cold there. Good! Freeze Bitch!

Was Zelena born with dark magic? That’s intense! Glinda makes it seem like that’s the case. And it would explain a lot!

Oh, Hook wants to take Henry to New York so that he’s safe from Zelena! He could have at least told one of his family members!

Imagine having no memory of magic or fairytales existing and then seeing a giant freaking flying monkey heading towards you!!

I hope none of those monkeys are friends!

Oh, Regina just said she never liked pets. I guess that means Henry never had one. He could have done with a doggy as a best buddy!

Oh cool! Zelena has apportation/remote telekinesis (the ability to teleport things/people without physical contact). That seems to be something unique to the Mills family, I think! Very handy ability! I was just studying it this week for my book.

“You can call me Auntie Zelena.”

Regina just fly through the air when Zelena’s around.

Zelena, don’t attack your nephew!

Regina out cold.  

Wait, how can Snow crush Charming’s heart without magic?

This is so heartbreaking. My babies!!

I can’t!!

Charming!!!!

Omg this hurts!!

How come Regina was knocked out when Zelena telekinetically pushed her back a few metres here but wasn’t when she was thrown through a bloody clock tower?!!

Regina just said to Henry, “I will never let you go away again. I promise.” Good luck getting to New York with Regina about, Emma!

The curse broke!

Sharing one heart has gotta be the most goddamn romantic thing I’ve ever heard of!

Thank god it worked! My babies are okay!!

Rumple said he’d tasted the potion that lets you keep your memories before. But when? Is that how he got his memories back after hearing Emma’s name? When else could he have used it?

Bae can talkl to birds! Or at least call on them!

Wait, so Rumple didn’t keep his memories when they were cursed? I assumed he did! I guess that makes sense since Bae didn’t keep his. But how did he know to tell them that Zelena was the Wicked Witch? I guess he just figured it out.

The baby’s coming!

[mcwriting]

before, during, after (tyrus)

Everything that happened before, during, and after (as the title implies) the Tyrus confession, even tho I’m a little late to the party :)

I’m afraid Josh is gonna read this so I hope you like it if you do haha

Fandom: Andi Mack (my first time writing this fandom!)

Ship: TJ x Cyrus aka Tyrus

Setting: Shadyside at Cece’s house. Takes place at Andi’s party in the finale

Word Count: 2802 (wowwww this was long winded whoops)

Warnings: sexual tension (p sure that’s obvious tho...), a couple of “bad” words but they’re mild

Rating: eh maybe like K? There’s not a lot that’s worth worrying about lol

Background: well I was a bit disappointed in how the tyrus scene kinda just... ended? and then wasn’t brought up again after the party ended and just the ghc and andi’s fam were outside?? So I thought I would put my take on it out there for y’all. The part immediately after the canon confession is what I initially imagined happening and what I wrote this fic for lolol.

%%%%

Cyrus was tired of worrying so much about TJ and Kira.

And he was tried of dancing. 

His time singing on stage had been fun, but his friends had somehow scattered in the time it took him to go to the bathroom and back.

Buffy had disappeared out the front door, though Cyrus noticed Marty not far behind. Meanwhile Andi was also nowhere to be seen, and suspiciously Jonah couldn’t be found either. 

Cyrus didn’t feel like searching around for Amber, and instead went to grab a little snack and maybe sit down. Then he turned his head to the back yard, where TJ was leaned against a bench talking to a couple of his old friends.

There’s no better time then the present, I guess he thought, finishing the pizza rolls he had grabbed and heading towards the door.

%%%%

TJ was tired of Kira’s tricks.

She had spent way too long manipulating and hitting on him, and he wondered why he’d let it go on for so long. 

I never would’ve let someone walk all over me before, but that Underdog makes me do some stupid things for him.

After sending Kira away (hopefully once and for all), he stormed away to grab a cup of punch to cool off, wishing someone had been brave enough to spike it so he could loosen up.

It wasn’t too long ago that he would have been the one to do it, or at least been with the people that would bring the booze.

Of course Cyrus changed that for him too, but it was definitely for the better.

After a while, he had been roped into showing off his piano playing skills, something no person at the party but his sister would have known about if it weren’t for the strong urge to show off for Cyrus.

Born this way hadn’t been his initial choice, but Amber told everyone that he knew how to play it from memory and so they begged him to do it.

Sure it was a good time, but after Cyrus ran off saying he’d be right back, TJ panicked and went to talk to a couple of people he knew that were getting ready to head out. 

They went into the back yard to get away from the loud music and after a nice conversation, his friends decided to leave.

With that, TJ was alone again, so he thought the bench he’d been sitting on the arm of would provide him a place to catch his breath. 

And then Cyrus showed up as soon as his butt hit the wooden planks and his heart rate spiked the way it always did when his crush walked up.

Cyrus was also freaking out a little too, but if someone was comparing the pair, it was nothing like TJ. Cyrus was more or less just mildly nervous, knowing anything said tonight could change everything.

So he started with something easy:

“Can I sit?”

They both looked at the empty spot, then at each other.

“Sure,” TJ gestured loosely with his hand as he tried to distract from his heart pounding so hard it almost matched the bass line of the music inside. 

With no hesitation, Cyrus slid into the spot, then asked a question he didn’t expect to fly out of his mouth so candidly.

“What happened to Kira?”

“I poured water on her and she melted,” he quipped back, cracking his “sarcasm smile” before looking away. Cyrus found it endearing and played along.

“I actually buy that,” he nodded. 

A lot of people liked to call her the worse version of witch, but really Cyrus saw her as both and wouldn’t be too surprised if she ended up putting a curse on him one day. 

TJ was still anxious but glad Cyrus was asking about the bitchy manipulator so he could set the record straight. 

He had even made sure to watch his language just for Cyrus, but if someone had asked Cy, he would’ve said he found it cute when TJ swore.

“She isn’t a nice person,” TJ shook his head, looking back at Cyrus once again.

Cyrus furrowed his brows before responding.

“You know people used to say that about you?” 

He grinned sincerely at TJ, who seemed to be in serous thought.

“Well, sometimes there’s a nice person on the inside trying to get out,” he confessed. 

TJ’s heart was still racing but he was never afraid to be real with Cy, except for the one thing he still feared confessing.

“I know that now,” they locked eyes and smiled, “but there’s still a lot of things I don’t know.”

Cyrus was really getting risky now, and he could feel it in how his pulse picked up.

“Like what?” TJ asked as he turned his shoulders to Cyrus, sliding his right leg a bit closer to Cyrus. He was hyper aware that their hands rested only inches apart on the seat.

“Like that you play piano.”

“My mom’s a piano teacher,” TJ mentioned slyly, like it was nothing, breath caught up in his throat a little.

“Didn’t know that either.” 

TJ decided to get bold too.

“I’m not mysterious, ask me anything,” he said, breathing out a light laugh.

“Okay!” Cyrus said, features brightening up as he angled more to TJ. “What does TJ stand for?”

Oh God, oh no, TJ thought, He did not just ask that. Now I’m gonna have to answer because it’s my muffin that’s asking.

“Except that!”

“You won’t tell me your name?” Cyrus grinned, truly wondering what the problem was ad TJ rolled his eyes. “And you think that’s not mysterious?”

“Okay there’s like... five people in the world who know it, and they’re all named Kippen.”

It’s a good thing Amber wasn’t there to hear their conversation. TJ knew he could trust her, but he also knew his sister well enough to know that she would’ve dropped hints left and right until Cy figured it out or TJ just said it.

“You should know that if you don’t tell me,” Cyrus started seriously, making TJ extra nervous again, “I will be the first person to ever literally die of curiosity!”

TJ held back a snort and instead let out a sigh.

“I don’t know, I... alright,” he turned even more towards Cyrus, his body almost facing the Jewish boy completely now, “if I tell you, you can never use it.”

“I won’t.”

“Or tell anyone else-”

“I promise!”

“Like, Cyrus, you gotta swear-”

“I do! I do! I swear!” Cyrus paused before lowering his voice slightly, “I swear.”

TJ studied Cyrus’s face for a moment before rolling his eyes again and continuing. 

“Alright. My parents are way into music, and they named me for their favorite artists,”

“That’s not so strange,” Cyrus added, unsure of why he was so worried about a measly name.

TJ hesitated again, heart pounding and stomach fluttering.

“TJ stands for...” 

There was a long pause this time.

“... Thelonious. Jagger.”

Cyrus furrowed his brows. He was shocked, blown away, and a little impressed that TJ actually told him. 

“Thelonious Jagger?!” he repeated, uncertain of how to react. “Are you kidding?!”

TJ was panicking inside. He shouldn’t have said anything. At this point he was ready to get up and leave when Cyrus kept talking. 

“That is a great name!” he exclaimed. “I love that name,” he finished sincerely, the widest smile on his face.

TJ was the one to be shocked now. He had never really heard “love” paired with his name, and never expected Cyrus to be the first to say it. He lightly snorted.

“You do?” he asked incredulously, mimicking his crush’s grin. 

“Yes!”

“Well my grandparents didn’t, they were like ‘that’s a ridiculous name, we’re calling him TJ!’“ he joked in a raspy voice, chuckled, then continued as normal. “So I’ve been TJ since I was three days old.”

There was another moment of silence, and suddenly both boys took on serious demeanors again. 

“Is there anything else you wanna know?” TJ questioned. His hand started to slide off his knee and towards Cyrus’s.

This is it, teej. It’s now or never.

Cyrus couldn’t help but look down and saw his crush’s hand had moved closer.

Omg. Stay calm Cyrus, this is it. It’s happening.

He looked back into TJ’s eyes, his butterflies erupted into his stomach.

“Is there anything else you wanna tell me?” he countered with a grin. 

TJ knew could feel his palms sweating, even though it was probably about 45 degrees outside and he could see his own breath in the night air. He answered truthfully, letting out a breath he didn’t know he was holding.

“Yeah,” his fingers slid closer again, the tips now lightly brushing the back of Cyrus’s hand and knuckles, “Is there anything you wanna tell me?”

“Yes,” Cyrus whispered, not wanting anyone to hear but TJ.

A weight had been lifted off of their shoulders, and TJ felt more free than ever before. He decided to seal the deal.

He grabbed Cyrus’s hand, not just cupping it, but fully interlacing their fingers.

TJ let loose a sigh he had been holding in since the moment he realized that Cyrus was more than just chocolate chocolate chip muffin guy. Cy followed suit.

They beamed at each other, soaking in the fact that their hands fit perfectly together. 

Cyrus took the opportunity to get clarity, even though words obviously weren’t necessary.

“You wanna tell each other at the same time?” 

His voice was still quiet even though they were completely alone in the yard. 

All TJ could do was nod in response. 

“Okay,” Cyrus said, squeezing TJ’s hand, “One, two, three...”

“I like you,” the both confessed in sync, lighting up upon realizing they had both said the same thing. They couldn’t help but chuckle at their confessions.

Cyrus wanted to cry. This was the happiest day of his life. 

TJ didn’t necessarily feel like he would cry, but another weight had definitely been lifted off of him. 

Before tears could well up, Cyrus leaned forward, letting go of TJ’s hand to wrap it around his back in a hug, the blonde boy following suit. 

The embraced for a few seconds, each of their eyes closed in excitement as they buried their chins in each other’s shoulders. 

Upon pulling away, TJ decided to take their friendship a step further once and for all.

“Cyrus, would you maybe wanna go out with me?” 

“Are you kidding? Absolutely!”

They sat there for the next hour, planning an official date and talking about anything and everything.

%%%%

The party had died down quite a bit, and the newly minted couple had scooted closer over time, eventually Cyrus leaning into his boyfriend (man was that hard for him to believe) and TJ wrapping an arm around his shoulders.

They were content in their positions when something caused the bench to vibrate.

TJ rolled his eyes knowing it was his phone, thinking it must be Kira being annoying again. He was going to leave it until it buzzed a few more times.

Cyrus looked up at him and told him to just check, removing himself from TJ’s warm side so he could reach the device.

“Ugh, it’s Amber. I guess mom’s on her ass about us not being home yet.”

TJ slapped a hand over his mouth.

“Sorry, Cy. I know you hate swearing,” he apologized.

“I was afraid to tell you before, but I actually think it’s kinda cute when you do it. Just maybe keep the language to a minimum when we’re around other people.”

They both had lovestruck looks at when they were interrupted by another buzz.

“Geez she’s persistent. She wants me to meet her out front.”

“I’ll walk you out,” Cyrus offered.

“I wouldn’t want anyone else to.”

They stood up and TJ instinctively reached for Cyrus‘s hand. After months of resisting it, he was glad to finally be about to do even this small act without worrying what the other might think.

Cyrus’s heart was bursting at the seams, and his smile was unmatched. He looked up at the other boy with that lovey grin as they started walking inside.

In the living room, only a few people outside of their friend group were still there, most of them putting on coats or talking on the phone with parents. 

TJ’s heart suddenly began racing and cheeks heated up when a few people noticed the boys holding hands, even though most of them had knowing smiles. 

He wasn’t sure how ready he was to out himself to the rest of the world after playing straight man for so long.

He felt a reassuring squeeze from Cyrus and relaxed a bit.

It doesn’t matter what anyone thinks except for me and Cy. No one can come between us again.

TJ gave a a quick wave to Andi, Buffy, Jonah, and Marty, who were all gathered by the stairs talking. They all waved back and grinned, whispering to each other and pointing out the couple’s hands.

He thought back to a conversation they’d had earlier about when they’d be willing to tell more people. It was a given for them to share the news with what Cyrus dubbed the “good hair crew” and Amber, but everyone else was a mystery.

They’d have to talk about it later, because Amber was just in sight on the front lawn, texting. She looked flustered when she caught sight of the boys.

“There you are TJ! Finally! Mom wants us home asap,” she immediately began, not registering how close the boys were or that they were touching.

“Okay okay! Let me just say goodbye to Cyrus real quick.”

Amber perked up, then glanced at their hands. Realization hit her face and she opened her mouth to say something before closing it again, nodding, and turning to the sidewalk. 

The couple unlaced their fingers and turned to each other.

“So I’ll see you Sunday at the swings?” TJ asked, shifting weight between his feet.

“Of course. I’m sure everyone is gonna want to hang out at the spoon tomorrow too so I’ll let you know all the deets,” Cyrus replied with his usual chipper tone.

Both boys chuckled, and then TJ held his arms open awkwardly. Cyrus did the same and they embraced once again, squeezing each other firmly for much longer that normal.

After an acceptable amount of time, they separated.

“Well, goodnight,” TJ began.

“Goodnight.” Cyrus replied, wringing his fingers. TJ started heading to his impatient sister when confidence bubbled out of him.

“Wait!”

TJ stopped and Cyrus ran in front of him.

“You forgot something.”

“What are you talki-” 

TJ stopped abruptly when he felt Cyrus’s lips on his cheek, which suddenly heated up with the gesture.

“I know that was really cheesy but I thought it was a good idea,” Cyrus babbled after pulling away. He went to continue when TJ stopped him by pressing a kiss to the slightly shorter boy’s forehead.

“Text me when you get home, okay?” TJ breathed. 

“Only if you text me first,” Cyrus winked.

Finally, the two separated for good that night, waving to each other as the Kippen siblings began walking.

Once out of sight, Amber smirked and nudged at her younger brother, trying to pry the story about the night out of him the whole walk home.

Meanwhile, Cyrus made his way back inside to join the people left, promising to his friends that he’d spill the details eventually.

Eventually the partygoers had made their own ways home and the good hair crew was sat at the fire pit with Bex and Bowie, Cyrus finally got his text from TJ and grinned like mad.

Someone make a joking reference to who he might me texting and one joke led to another that ended with them all laughing.

Once they calmed down, Andi pulled out a childhood photo and things got serious again.

%%%%

“Great party.”

“Life-changing even.”

“I think I missed some stuff!?” 

Everyone had to laugh at Jonah’s oblivious nature as they all unwrapped themselves from the group hug. 

“Tomorrow? At the spoon?” Andi asked.

Everyone nodded and Cyrus stepped forward to say bye. 

“Later, tater.”

He went out the gate to the front yard, finally making his way home for the night. He shot TJ a quick text to let him know he was heading home and that they would be meeting at the spoon the next day. 

Upon finally arriving at this mom’s house, he flopped into bed, let TJ know he was safe, and fell asleep with a wide smile.

TJ instead was laying in his bed, replaying the night over and over. 

Sure he was losing sleep over that boy, but finally it was for good reason.

%%%%

A/N: Wow I can’t believe this was my first Tyrus story! I’ve loved them for a long time and am so happy for Luke and Josh for portraying these boys the way that they have. They are so sweet and I am sad that we had to see it end, but glad it ended with them together. 

I also have an idea for a series called “The space between” that touches on times between tyrus moments from the beginning leading up to this. Like non canon moments from when Buffy first met TJ until this fic. Idk lol.

Ps. Josh if you’re reading this say hi to Luke for me :) lol

[comicteaparty]

June 20th-June 26th, 2020 Creator Babble Archive

The archive for the Creator Babble chat that occurred from June 20th, 2020 to June 26th, 2020.  The chat focused on the following question:

What is something you’re just not very good at right now writing and/or drawing in general?

Deo101 [Millennium]

mysteries. 100% I can not write mysteries!

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

ears

Deo101 [Millennium]

the connection between legs and torso. No not hips, I can draw hips fine, but like the movement aspect of it

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

Action scenes. Orchestrating fights or big motions on the page... it doesn’t come naturally to me! I have to look at a lot of reference to see how other artists do it. Impact shapes, speed lines, anything to convey movement...

But I am slowly building a vocabulary of... fight shapes? I’m calling them fight shapes, haha

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

I feel that

Your feeling I feel deeply

"visual library" is a term that comes to mind

Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~

Composition. I just talked about this earlier today, but.... yup. Composition is my bane.

Mitzi (Trophallaxis)

I'd like to get better at writing in general. I have a lot of trouble verbalizing things I see in my head, and so I gotta rely on images and thumbnails to get any idea across, sometimes. otherwise im a windbag and use 5000 words to say 0-1 things, lmao

carcarchu

I have trouble writing simply. I always want to embellish, add extra details, more characters and make everything more complicated and i worry it ends up making things unnecessarily convoluted

Drawing-wise i hate drawing hands

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

The legit thing I am worse at writing is fucking

Deo101 [Millennium]

omg

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

essays to convince people to hire me

Deo101 [Millennium]

OH OKAY

WAY TO CUT IT OFF

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

YEAH

Mitzi (Trophallaxis)

OH

carcarchu

let her finish deo

Mitzi (Trophallaxis)

comedic timing at its finest

Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~

omg

I was very confused for a sec(edited)

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

but seriously like speaking of filling gaps this is what I'm legit struggling most with right now so any help much appreciated

Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~

raises hand

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

I need to write a personal statement and every time I sit down to edit I want to die

Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~

I volunteer as tribute

writing is basically the only thing I'm really good at

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

It's not the writing I hate

It's the writing about me

carcarchu

is that the thing where you have to write in 3rd person? like those blurb things on people's websites?(edited)

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

It just feel so gross whoring out my deeply held passions and struggles for a spot in med school

No I'm talking about college essays lmao sorry for derailing

The blurb things are an interesting topic though!

Have you guys writtent those before and does anyone actually like writing them?

carcarchu

i had to write a blurb about myself for my university's website and yeah it was uncomfy

lemme see if i can find it

Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~

I HATE writing those

because I just start like, "Crona J. is an artist and writer from Chicago......." And I have no idea how to continue

Deo101 [Millennium]

god yeah even just writing a profile or about me is hard enough!!!

I'm always like "deo - 22 - she/her - illustrator - webcomic author - student" and then i leave it

thats it thats all you get

depending on the platform i MIGHT put bi - disabled and thats it!!!!

Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~

yeah

half of the stuff I write doesn't even feel relevant to the audience either

who cares that I have been drawing since I was 12 lol?

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

Mate I don't even write those. My bio is like "UCSD" "Read my comic"

Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~

hahaha

Deo101 [Millennium]

I also always feel like when I see "ive been drawing since I was 5!" I kinda think like... well everyone has been -_- like this doesnt tell me anything, how long have you been an aspiring pro, how long have you been studying art...? that tells me more

so I never put that kind of stuff in my biod either

Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~

yeah, and also, I didn't go to prestigious school, so I don't even include my college

and I only have one comic project so far, just under a chapter

so what do I write?

Not that important an issue, but irksome nonetheless

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

I don't include my school because it's prestigious, I include it because it's not an art college

Deo101 [Millennium]

owch

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

I want fellow stem-y yet artsy people from my school to recognize me as one of them(edited)

DEO stop interupptung me at the worst points!!

Deo101 [Millennium]

i love jumping to conclusions. so no.

Erin Ptah (BICP | Leif & Thorn)

If it's a bio where I can talk about the comics, I try to spotlight a few tropes/genres that'll catch the eye of potential readers. Not a full-fledged summary, just a quick hit of If You Like These Words, You'll Probably Like Reading It. ("Fantasy, comedy, shapeshifters, PTSD, time travel, cats")

Erin Ptah (BICP | Leif & Thorn)

And if it's gonna be personal, same deal with bits of personal info -- not trying to be a Comprehensive Biography, just pulling a few details that are relatable connection points

The problem with "I've always wanted to be a writer/artist/cartoonist" isn't just how generic it is, the problem is also the vibe of "here's my thing, your role in this is to support me"

Whereas if you say something like "I like drawing cute girls and writing fantasy," the response can be "oh hey, I like seeing cute girls and reading fantasy, tell me more!"

Or if you go with "Sailor Moon fan, will put extra cheese on everything," people can go "cool, that's relatable, we can like Sailor Moon and cheese together." It gets at your shared investment in a fun thing, it's not about expecting them to be personally invested in you

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

I think perhaps the most fundamental thing is "you can't please everyone." I've never liked the 'random food related weird tidbit tacked on' thing because it feels too try-hardish to me, but I understand for other people, it's not a matter of trying too hard and is genuinely how they just talk.

Erin Ptah (BICP | Leif & Thorn)

Oh definitely, you hold out for a bio that connects with everyone and you'll never get it done

AntiBunny

Personally I'm not great at drawing cars. It's why all my cars early on in the comic were side view only, and old blocky looking things. It was all I could do. I've been getting better by using references.

Every so often I buy a little hotweels or matchbox car when I'm buying groceries. I aim for realistic ones based on real vehicles, especially utility vehicles like ice cream trucks, ambulances, fire trucks, and whatnot you'd see every day in a city. I keep a little box of them on my desk, so if the scene calls for a car to be visible, I have a reference that can help me get all the curves and angles right.

Sure beats drawing from memory, but also practice time in the sketchbook with them is a necessity.

Now crowd scenes are beginning to be my bane. Not because they're hard to draw, just because they're time consuming.

Suddenly I realize why old episodes of Sailor Moon has cities with people free sidewalks and empty streets.

Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~

That's a great idea, gathering the model cars! I should do that for a future comic.

kayotics

I also struggle with cars so, uh, my comic takes place in fantasy 1700-1800s

But also horses are bad too

Cars and horses! They suck

Deo101 [Millennium]

do what I did and make up an easier animal to draw than a horse ;)

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

Vehicles in general. Should just put everyone on roller blades and be done with it

Deo101 [Millennium]

I'd lov that tbh

kayotics

I’ve considered making something other than horses......

Deo101 [Millennium]

I highly encourage it, the people love it and also so does my brain

kayotics

Or else lean into them being ugly

Deo101 [Millennium]

heres the trick about horses though they look really weird and as small as you make their legs, when you think "this is way too thin..." youre wrong and their ankles are probably smaller than that

kayotics

The thing that gets me is their faces

Deo101 [Millennium]

... mask

kayotics

Hahaha

I should just make deer the normal mode of transport

Deo101 [Millennium]

that would be really cute tbh

kayotics

I love deer and they’re cute

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

Just exaggerate them to the point where it looks like a style choice

Your people already have unrealistic proportions

Why not the horses too

kayotics

That’s how I draw buildings tbh because I hate buildings

Deo101 [Millennium]

I also gave horses dog mouths, maybe do something like that? someone can be like "horses dont look like that?" and as long as youre consistent you can say "they do in this world!!!"

kayotics

Oh god no that’s like a devil creature

Deo101 [Millennium]

yeah they look horrible but its fun

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

I legit remember saying that to you deo lmao

Deo101 [Millennium]

ive had dog horse for years you didnt give me this

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

Not the they look horrible part

kayotics

I’ve already got beasts, I don’t need horses to look WORSE than they did

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

Bwah I remember

Time to archive dig(edited)

Deo101 [Millennium]

I love dog horse

kayotics

Honestly it’s good but they scare me

Deo101 [Millennium]

yeah... maybe instead give them cat mouths

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

https://discordapp.com/channels/472908933045026827/634081658018070549/688589449562423422

wait omg this is the message that led to your first dm to me lmao

Deo101 [Millennium]

is it??? omg i think it is... historical moment

dog horse brings us together

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

Another point to convince kay to draw uncanny animals!

Deo101 [Millennium]

what I do to make birds fun to draw is making them sparkly

maybe try that

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

god you're gonna ruin kay's carefully crafted aesthetic

is this your competitiveness showing its face again(edited)

Deo101 [Millennium]

they can make it work! why do you doubt their abilities

make this the main mode of transport

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

ah is that how it works in that case i have 10 shitty indie game ideas

make them pls

Deo101 [Millennium]

implying my ideas are shitty??? rude!

kayotics

I have an aesthetic?

Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~

Or if you want to be very efficient, everyone in universe can teleport

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

lmao you have an excellent aesthetic

crona

i do that already

kayotics

Crona.... that’s my comic already!! Haha

Deo101 [Millennium]

kay does also have teleporting to be clear

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

don't underestimate my laziness!

Deo101 [Millennium]

LMAO

Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~

See

It must be great advice

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

oh crap you're right kay also does have teleporting

and unrealistic beasts, to be fair

kayotics

Sometimes on the same page

That’s the eyes I draw on the beasts

Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~

Or be even lazier, and make it so that horses and beasts either don't exist or haven't been domesticated in that region. Everyone walks. Their feet hurt, but their calves are glorious.

Deo101 [Millennium]

you get it

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

wait crona and deo also have comics where teleportation could exist

will you join us?

Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~

lol, yup

Deo101 [Millennium]

nope

Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~

(nah, I've already drawn horses. They're not so bad if you stare at photos)

sierrabravo (Hans Vogel is Dead)

drawing horses is fun!!

[multiple people are typing]

Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~

And there will also be hella walking, because the leg game must be strong, otherwise I'm not doing my job

Deo101 [Millennium]

ive decided that millennium is like really in the future but things like time travel, teleportation, warp speed... nope! You can go really fast in a spaceship but like nothin crazy

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

man these planets real close together then

or maybe people just live a really long time ...?

Deo101 [Millennium]

I just do my version of teleporting which is "wow it'll take a week to get there" and then its a week later

dont worry about it

Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~

nice

Deo101 [Millennium]

its not realistic, but its consistent

🌈ERROR404 🌈

ahhhh horses are really nice to draw imo, if i can get it right lol

Deo101 [Millennium]

I like drawing horses a lot I just never do it tbh

🌈ERROR404 🌈

something needs to fuel my addiction to cowboy culture

Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~

Consistency is key tbh

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

I just do my version of teleporting which is "wow it'll take a week to get there" and then its a week later

when my whole comic takes place in like a week lmao

Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~

if you decide that gravity doesn't exist in your world, as log as you're consistent with it, you're golden

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

in the unlikely event i get tired of drawing my comic i can adopt deo's strat "wow it'll take a week to get to the ending"

Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~

My comic takes place in about a year (not counting flashbacks which span... uh... a very long time)

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

"man sure seems like this conflict will take approximately a week to be resolved" "one week later"

Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~

hahaha

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

"sure did get resolved"

the end

Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~

convenient

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

i wonder if anyone's done that

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

One Korean series I followed for years did it

and everyone was pissed, as you can imagine

Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~

lol

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

better than cancellation?

Deo101 [Millennium]

LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

what a way to go

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

I'd honestly have preferred cancellation/ abandonment

Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~

Just have a fan finish it for you at that rate lmao

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

OH that's a good discussion topic. If you got tired of your comic, or life got in the the way of you working on it anymore, how would you end it as quickly as possible?

Deo101 [Millennium]

maybe rephrase that a little

Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~

I would toss it at my little sis, and she would do it for me, no joke

Deo101 [Millennium]

My little sister also would probably take over it for me

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

let's move to general?

Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~

eyyy!

Deo101 [Millennium]

but also I could just be like "They got an email that john died of old age its over now"

Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~

MVP sisters!

lol

an email

what a way to end it

eliushi [Keyspace]

For me it’s panels. Past me thought that the four panel structure would make things easy. Nope. It’s limiting how I want to tell the story so... I’m trying to branch out now and looking for other inspirations for panel and layout

Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~

Just change the shape of your panels. It forces you to be creative.

eliushi [Keyspace]

True true! I have those in upcoming updates

But my heart swoons for the page spreads

Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~

oh yes

They are so gorgeous, but difficult to plan

eliushi [Keyspace]

Initially I was planning on storyboards but now I’m more comfortable with comics I think I’ll be aiming for traditional layouts

Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~

Yeah, storyboards are an entirely different beast

Desnik

I'm currently working on clearly portraying character motivation

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

I think for me I don't draw animals often and rip have to draw a few for the upcoming pages so I'm just doing my best at this point lol

AntiBunny

Panel arrangement is the heart of comics as an art form. It takes practice, and study to learn how the eye flows from one thing to the next.

And once you have a thorough understanding of the rules you can learn how to carefully break them to produce something truly eye catching.

If I had to say the simplest rule to understanding flow is, if you need arrows to tell you which direction to read, then you're doing something wrong.

DanitheCarutor

This is candy for my self-deprecating mentality. Lol Honestly though. I'm not the best at writing in general, I don't like doing it physically, avoiding it at all cost (outside of dialogue and poorly done bullet points on scrap paper.) so I don't really know if/think I'm particularly good at it. I remember the last time I tried to physically write something was back in high school, I still have it saved on my computer, but it was something else. Too many dialogue scenes and overly detailed descriptions of things and characters. I only made it a little ways before giving up with "You know, this will be easier to just show than describe.". Story and character wise for my current comic, I'm not sure how well it's turning out or how good it will be in the end, my brain defaults my work to mediocre so I tend to be totally blind to what I'm doing right. I know my characters aren't the best for sure since they're all fleshy flaw bags with too many flaws, and I know I could have presented certain scene changes and such better, but that's all I can think of objectively. The art portion is something I at least know I can execute decently, but my color composition is the worst. I'm aware that I need to improve it, and I know what needs to be done, but it's something I can't really accomplish with my comic since I just want to focus on finishing pages. I'll have to make time to draw up some throw-away illustrations to experiment with, which I hope to have a little bit of now that I'm not on a regular update schedule. Also I can't draw vehicles and architecture for the life of me, I've referenced and studied but I still can't wrap my head around it. ALSO extreme angles and perspectives are still things I need work on, like 4-point circular perspective, ground level shots and over the head shots.

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

There's a lot of things I want to improve, but something I haven't seen mentioned yet: I would like to get better at deciphering feedback, how to glean useful things from multiple conflicting feedback.

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

Ooh that's a good one keii

I haven't really had to deal with that before though because all the negative feedback I've gotten is pretty consistent

Can I ask what the conflicting feedback you got is?

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

Oh gosh, I legit spent a long, long moment trying to figure out where to even start

eliushi [Keyspace]

I really like this approach to feedback

Krispy §[Ghost Junk Sickness]§

Yo Eli this is so good

eliushi [Keyspace]

Mary robinette is goals

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

this is spectacular already

wow

eliushi [Keyspace]

Pretty sure a wiser writer passed this onto me I have since used it a lot and it works for me

Krispy §[Ghost Junk Sickness]§

This is so so good Perfectly said about crits in creative fields

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

One example I can think of isn't actually something that was criticized, but showed up a lot in various ways: "this is (supposed to be) an exciting adventure romp centering Danbi" vs "this is an emotional journey story centering Ethan" ... Not a criticism, but two very conflicting interpretations. People who have one interpretation are shocked and confused when I tell them about the other one.

Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~

Holy crap, Eli... This is one for the folder of absolute knowledge

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

woah, excellent advice

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

And yeah, that is a really good one. Symptoms are extremely useful, and diagnoses tend to be more useful in a conversation rather than a one-way "here is my diagnosis" thing

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

I haven't heard it said before but the explaining eliminating a clean reaction rings so true to me

Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~

Ahhh, this is literally the one document I have needed my entire life

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

also the helping someone tell the story they want

also the stream of consiousness, MAn

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

I think I'll save that for my future high schoolers lol

some of the stuff said there is what I've noticed in the last few years critquing in academic settings but its nice to kno!

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

People have given me stream of consciousness reactions before and they were the most helpful. Almost all the changes in the story from others' reactions were from stream of consciousness reactions, not intentional critiques

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

Yeah, one of the most helpful "critique" I ever got was also completely unintentional

Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~

One of the most useful tips in this guide for me in particular is the "As a writer don't:" section. I struggle with it a lot.

On the note of things we are bad at in the comic-making process, I am very bad at taking critiques!(edited)

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

tbh for a long time, my biggest struggling point that's not in the "as a writer don't:" is "don't throw yourself into the void of self-hate." I'm better now, but boy, when it was bad, it was bad.

But perhaps that kinda thing better fits into "as a person don't:"

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

I am pretty good at taking critiques, but pretty bad at giving critiques! Right now the point I'm at is I'm just gonna not give critiques until I'm more mature

But then after I decided that an amateur writer friend told me his story idea that I not only disliked but was sort of offended by

and I really wanted to tell him but I didn't know how to do it nicely...

Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~

ooof

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

oh no

Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~

yeah, that's really tough

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

rip I tend to do kinda a sandwich method. I had to say some rough things few days ago on a practice pitch run and I pretty much said

Deo101 [Millennium]

Uh oh

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

"Your idea is developing for sure, but I think you need to reconsider some of the world building choices you done. Have you thought of researching such and such."

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

That's basically what I said

But I think I had to say "research ffs" in increasing intensity like 3 times lol

Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~

Oh, nice, the "let's give them compliments too so that they know I'm not just being mean" method

It's a good method tbh

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

Rip it's not that like

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

Deo might have something to say about this but it was about schizophrenics in a mental institution being portrayed in a real weird way by someone who didn't know anything about it(edited)

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

Ooof

Deo101 [Millennium]

Ah man

Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~

ewww

Deo101 [Millennium]

I'll always stand by "asking people who've lived what you're writing about is the best form of research and can't be replaced"

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

Yeah I would said the to the person consider researching more on the topic and interview folks who have schizophrenia

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

Dude I brought you up lmao

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

and also like "is there a reason you want to depict it this way?"

Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~

oooh

Deo101 [Millennium]

Yeah I know I'm agreeing idk... Idk what else I'd have to say on the topic

Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~

That's a very good question to ask someone

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

and depending on their responses, I would just put my two scents in there that rip

Deo101 [Millennium]

Yeah I always ask "what are your goals?" Before I ask anything else

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

critiques are kinda my strong point sinc eLMAO I do em all the time in my class

and teaching so yeah LOL

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

Deo I mean I brought you up to this guy like saying "my friend messaged people online and they were super willing to talk to her you could do that"

Deo101 [Millennium]

OHHHHH gotcha

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

I try my best to figure out what they want out of it and just deliever with some handful of suggestions

but I won't sugarcoat it unless you're a high school student or younger lmao

Deo101 [Millennium]

Yeah I'm often told I'm a lil too harsh but like idk

Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~

I wouldn't say sugar coating it per say... More just telling them what their strengths are too, so that they have an idea of where they're at

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

telling someone their strengths is just as useful as telling them their flaws

that way they can highlight them

like just because you story has no flaws doesn't mean it's good right?

gotta have stuff that stands out in a good way as well

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

Someone once phrased it as "Let's list everything that's wrong here, and find out how we can fix them" vs "How do we take this to the next level?" and that really resonated with me. It's not about sugarcoating; it's more about helping them get to the next level in the direction they wanna go.

Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~

THIS

Deo101 [Millennium]

Yeah I try to point out things that are going well, and I usually try to only point at things that ppl can work on immediately

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

I should phrase my statement more clearly. But yeah Kei that's what I usually look for when critiquing

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

There's often no need to tell them "your writing is only at level 3, and that's bad because the max level is 99." Just tell them how to get to level 4.

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

I dont' see it like its something bad but something that is challenging to them at the time

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

Unless they have extremely unrealistic expectations or whatever that are standing in their own way

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

just have to figure out how to get out of the hump

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

Yep. I see this phenomenon in animation a lot. A good animation director will help you boost your existing work to something stronger, but still yours. A bad one will tell you to do it their way, and chide you for doing it ‘wrong.’

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

rip I know a person like that and lmao

Deo101 [Millennium]

Yessssss

That's why I always ask "what are your goals" to start

Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~

Yup

🌈ERROR404 🌈

I totally agree!!!! A LOT of the most important bits of great criticism is understanding exactly where the original creator was intending to go, and formatting your statements around helping them achieve that!!!!!!!

Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~

Critiques are impossible if you don't know what the person is trying to achieve

🌈ERROR404 🌈

Just stating things that you would change if you were making it may seem useful and relevant to you the critic, but unless the creator is headed the exact same direction as you, they have just as much reason to invalidate the entire statement as they do to nit pick out the things they care to agree with

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

Sometimes a prospective critic is simply too far removed from the target audience of the work, like on a fundamental level, and it makes it impossible to give them useful feedback. I think it's important to acknowledge that this can happen. It happens to me a lot and I just decline to give crits when it does.

Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~

Yeah, like don't ask me to critique a comic about sports lmao

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

I agree on that notion, esepcially when seeing professional aritsts giving crits to folks starting out but it doesn't go as er ideal as they thought it would be

Deo101 [Millennium]

That's why I usually only seek out criticsm (for more than just general direction/advice) from people who's work I like

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

I remember reading advice on getting beta readers, and it’s really REALLY important that they’re excited for your stuff. They want to make it better. They care. They can give critique, but they absolutely must be jazzed about your subject matter in some way, or else it’ll be a slog for everyone.

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

for me, I have my peers who I contact daily and we give each other advice, tips

despite having er difference interests in fields, but we experienced a lot in our program lol

Deo101 [Millennium]

Yes... (Speaking of if anyone wanted to beta read my next comic uhhhh let me know id love to have u)

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

very good point claire

Krispy §[Ghost Junk Sickness]§

100 percent agree Get people who are excited and know your vision

Deo101 [Millennium]

Yeah I have a small group of writer friends who know all my goals and a lot of my stuff? So they make a very good little critique circle, and we all help eachother

Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~

I'm always ready to beta read if it's a concept I enjoy

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

like people who critique comics they hate. I'm like, damn, tough work but also ?? why

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

(Be careful about people who are excited about what they think is your vision.............)

Deo101 [Millennium]

Fish is this a callout for me

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

slightly?

Deo101 [Millennium]

Ahsjfkdjdkskdjdjdj

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

Keii I experienced the oppisisite like rip

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

it's just mystifying to me, I don't think it's wrong or anything

Deo101 [Millennium]

Also crona I'll send u when I'm at my comp

Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~

sure

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

What do you mean Tuyetnhi?

Krispy §[Ghost Junk Sickness]§

Ohh that would be oof to deal with Kei

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

I had to let a person down to reality bc I know they're excited about their idea but uhhhh

Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~

(Is it the fish romance?)

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

it wasn't engaging to me

Deo101 [Millennium]

Yes that one qjdjfkskdkk

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

nor my illustration friends

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

I don’t have beta readers but I think that’s how it all goes lol

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

and we were like

"AAAAAAA"

Deo101 [Millennium]

Oh that's awkward

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

Ooooooohhhhhhh... oof

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

I have a couple friends I send pages to sometimes but they're always really positive about it

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

It was a rough critique

Krispy §[Ghost Junk Sickness]§

Having creative friend circles is so essential for growth and screaming at eachothers works for motivation too

Deo101 [Millennium]

Yessss

Also just the ability to talk about your process without having to explain yourself

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

agreed lol

Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~

I occasionally tap my fiance's shoulder and shove my sketches in his face with zero context, just to make sure he can figure out what's going on without me explaining. Super helpful

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

I feel like I have a couple friends where, when I read their stuff, I know things that would amp their work up tenfold. But until they ask me... I’m screaming inside lol

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

lol

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

my friend always makes me feel like i'm a better writer than i am because she thinks so much like me she gets everything i write perfectly lol. But then I post and the comments are like "wtf i'm confused"(edited)

eliushi [Keyspace]

Yeah feedback is most effective when both sides are open and invested

Krispy §[Ghost Junk Sickness]§

Claire Senpai Wants To Help

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

also same crona(edited)

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

It’s not bad, I just go I THINK I CAN HELP YOU MAKE IT AWESOMER AHHHHHH

eliushi [Keyspace]

Claire senpaiiii

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

But until then I remain still and supportive

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

why don't you ask them "can i suggest things?"

Deo101 [Millennium]

Yeah I try and keep my mouth shut

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

or "do you want suggestions?"

Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~

lol

eliushi [Keyspace]

I usually say what I like about it first and then. Are you looking for feedback?

Deo101 [Millennium]

Tbh hearing "can I suggest things?" Usually comes off kinda like "I see stuff wrong with this :)" which can hurt a little even then

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

YEeeeah

🌈ERROR404 🌈

At least for my comic, i have sent bits and pieces for critique from creators i am friends with , but i'm really hesitant promoting myself because I don't feel like I'm not at a place to even get a critique i'll be able to make anything of. O(--( i really don't know what I'd do if someone tried to seriously analyze my plot and break down the story right now

Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~

It's really hard, because a lot of people (myself included) get scared when someone else asks, "Do you need help?"

Deo101 [Millennium]

I usually trust ppl to say whether they're looking for feedback

Krispy §[Ghost Junk Sickness]§

Its always so tricky to gague the reactions of that. Some people handle that better than others So i only offer when they open up

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

Based on how people can get about even the offer of critique, yeah, I tend not to say anything. That’s their baby. If they want to open that door, then I’ll poke my head in

eliushi [Keyspace]

True too. I’m already in forums where feedback is wanted so I’m already in selection bias

Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~

Yeah, I like to only offer crits if someone is asking for it for that reason

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

for the record i'm always open to critiques

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

kinda mutal agreement on don't chime in unless asked lol

Deo101 [Millennium]

Yeah, at least in my groups we send things like "hey this and this are bothering me? Can you help?" And other than that it's just support

Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~

Yeah, that's a good idea

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

for both parties. For me, If it's something that I need thoughts I ask but otherwise, lmao my social circles ask me for help for their art stuff

Deo101 [Millennium]

We never agreed on that btw it's just kinda how it goes

Krispy §[Ghost Junk Sickness]§

That's a nice group way to handle that AND make the space more breathable for others who are more nervous about crit work

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

exactly

eliushi [Keyspace]

There’s a time and place for everything and feedback is no different

Deo101 [Millennium]

Yeah! Like here we have seperate chats for help and sharing

Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~

Yuss

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

When someone asks me if I'm open to suggestions, my reaction is usually "nOOoooOo..." but not always. I think it helps a ton if there's an existing rapport, like if I already know this person gets, REALLY gets, my work.

Krispy §[Ghost Junk Sickness]§

And that's okay Keii!

eliushi [Keyspace]

Yeah I’m super thankful for my betas for that

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

yee same

eliushi [Keyspace]

It’s very rewarding when people are also invested in your work to make it better within your means and style

Krispy §[Ghost Junk Sickness]§

Honestly u gotta do whats best for u and ur mindset in the end.

Deo101 [Millennium]

It also is a little but awkward to say "no I'm not open to suggestions' cause it feels like you're saying "I don't care to improve" when in reality it's more like "no... I'm happy with this and I don't want it to be soured"

Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~

I love the fact that if I post in #creator_art_share, nobody will critique me unless I ask. And if I post in #art_help, I can get that help. So incredibly nice

Krispy §[Ghost Junk Sickness]§

Yes! Thats very respectful

eliushi [Keyspace]

So key

Krispy §[Ghost Junk Sickness]§

Omg Deo.....such a mood LOL

Deo101 [Millennium]

I always feel so bad saying no thanks but it's like it looked good I thought

Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~

omg, I felt that in my soul

We beat ourselves up enough as it is

Krispy §[Ghost Junk Sickness]§

Sometimes i know my work can be farty but... I dont also want perfection in every facet of my pieces too and thats okay! Some are learning pieces, others more indulgent

Deo101 [Millennium]

Yeah!

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

I think I'd be very hesitant to accept ideas that will utterly break my core plot... unless someone comes out and outright tells me something about it is offensive or wrong or otherwise bad. But critique on the connective tissue between the bones, so to speak, heck yes. I've gotten some much better ideas from that.

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

e.e even if i post in art share i would be honored to receive a critique from any of you

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

Oh, if someone comes to me with suggestions that are that incompatible with my vision, I'm getting outta there.

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

but i don't wanna post every single thing i do in art help hm

but maybe i should

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

I am SO getting outta there.

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

I did had some suggestions that didn't... really help with my comic most of it are just comments and not pure criticism

Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~

Just post it lol

Deo101 [Millennium]

Yeah it's probably best to leave crit in the crit section so as not to break that unspoken rule.

Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~

To signal to the rest of us

Krispy §[Ghost Junk Sickness]§

Yea your vision is key, and i find that people who crit the work need a basic understanding of it for it to be a True Crit

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

Yeah it's probably best to leave crit in the crit section so as not to break that unspoken rule.

good point

i wouldn't want people critiquing me to make others feel like it's okay to do that to everyone

Krispy §[Ghost Junk Sickness]§

A good attitude!!! Y'all are very respectable this is a wonderful topic

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

yeee

eliushi [Keyspace]

I think the best feedback is one where it makes your work become more effective within your vision. Sometimes it’s finding the betas who are invested but I also find betas who focus on different crafts also can offer a lot of wisdom. I find it comes down to being open and it’s never a bad thing to ask for clarification

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

[also writes this down for a potential lesson actvity for high schoolers] (edited)

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

Yeah, a critique is supposed to help the work become a better version of itself, not a better [something else]

Deo101 [Millennium]

Mostly with true beta reading I am looking for "how clear is my work coming off to someone who knows nothing of my lore and backstory etc?"

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

I like the idea of having at least one beta reader who's a writer, and at least one who's not. The writer can dissect things a bit more than a 'civilian' could while the civilian can look at surface-level things and react as the audience majority might.

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

multiple beta readers are a blessing lol

Deo101 [Millennium]

Cause with my friends, they already know everything I'm planning, so i worry a lot that they are putting together things that a regular reader wouldn't

So yeah same thing as a "civilian" reader, sort of!

eliushi [Keyspace]

For sure. Within my critique group I have novelists, webcomic creators and artists. Those who read the complete script and those who haven’t. It’s important to have all sides I find

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

Dang you people with your luxury of multiple beta readers... I don't even have one (but it's mostly my fault; my scripts are unreadable)

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

omg lol

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

i'm sure you could use many of us as beta readers if you wanted to!

varethane

that surface-level 'first gut reaction' crit can be SO useful

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

I change dialogue too frequently for a beta reader to have a fair chance, lol

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

I started early with one years ago, but now I have like 5-10ish but they can't help me at the same time lmao

varethane

I agree upthread with when it was said that some of the most helpful crit was given unintentionally lol

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

same. i asked some people, including deo and crona, for a beta read of a script a while back but then ended up changing most of it lol(edited)

eliushi [Keyspace]

Most of my betas I found in forums like these! I’m sure a lot of us want to help each other out!

Deo101 [Millennium]

I usually only share stuff once I have at least a solid sketch and dialogue is in

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

so much changes in the thumbnail/layout stage for me. SO MUCH. whole scenes get swapped/cut/extended

I never keep it the same way

Deo101 [Millennium]

I don't like to share scripts cause also I don't usually script much anyways lol

Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~

@keii’ii (Heart of Keol) As a long-time reader of HoK, I would be more than happy to beta read if you ever wanted it. Just throwing that out there!

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

same Lazuli like

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

I'd love to beta read for anyone too

varethane

I prefer sharing sketched pages because my scripts usually change SO much in between being written and going onto the page

like, sometimes they're outright unrecognizable

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

@Deo101 [Millennium] Same. The couple times I really wasn't unsure about a scene, I had to find someone and give them cleaned up thumbnails

Deo101 [Millennium]

Yeah I don't share more than sketched pages with dialogue

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

SUPER cleaned up thumbnails

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

from thumbnail to final, like they aren't the same from before lmao

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

Most helpful critique for me was just someone engaging with the story. "Man I love - and -, they're such good friends, but - pisses me the fuck off" and that was my intention, but i realized it was coming on a bit stronger than i liked and changed the next scene dramatically to make a future plot point where the last character needs to be trusted feel more earned(edited)

varethane

(anyone who seriously is down for beta reading, I have 3 finished chapters burning a hole in my buffer hhnnnnggggg)

Deo101 [Millennium]

Yeah cause also like, 80% of the crit is usually "well this paneling is unclear" kind of stuff too

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

also i don't mind if anyone is asking me to beta read

Deo101 [Millennium]

Which you can't do from a script anyways

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

or (I don't usually do this often but)

I'm also a sensitivity beta reader too

so if you have questions about POC stuff, asian-american, er mixed-asian or mixed-black experiences

I'm willing to help lmao

but i'm just one perspective to the table

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

A lot of comments, not critiques, have influenced scenes I put later too. Things to clarify, expand, emphasize. I take every comment like that as an idea. I love knowing what the readers hope to learn.

eliushi [Keyspace]

I’m in the midst of a 180k plus word count novel beta and alphaing a couple works but once that’s all done, happy to take a look too

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

holy

Deo101 [Millennium]

Wowie

Krispy §[Ghost Junk Sickness]§

Getting trustful beta readers i gotta say again is so important bc sometimes when asking for some, u run into betas that are there to just exploit that privilege too (tho rare) And!!!! Be respectful of ur betas on the other side of the spectrum

Deo101 [Millennium]

Exploit how?

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

like to read your work early?

eliushi [Keyspace]

Definitely pick your betas wisely

Krispy §[Ghost Junk Sickness]§

Usually just the free ride of Knowing the Story or the opportunity to just Constantly Crit (non helpful) bc of personal reasons

Deo101 [Millennium]

Damn

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

I'm imagining having someone sneak in as a beta and reveal they're a rabid toxic fan trying to influence the plot to their liking. As an absolute worst scenario

Deo101 [Millennium]

Spooky

Krispy §[Ghost Junk Sickness]§

Yea.... There's def ppl out there that would do that THOUGH RARE again. I think that's more of like Competition in the field or spite? But ive heard it happening and its not cool

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

like people just looking for a free ticket to complain about your work?

i can see that

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

Oh yeah, I had folks like that before

after that I'm just like "thank you for your time" and block them after LMAO

Deo101 [Millennium]

That sucks :(

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

hhhhhhh

Krispy §[Ghost Junk Sickness]§

Yea And u can always tell a sincere crit from a one that comes from a place of malice and ill intent pretty easy.

eliushi [Keyspace]

Exactly

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

oof

Krispy §[Ghost Junk Sickness]§

Still!!! A horrible experience

Deo101 [Millennium]

:< yeah

Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~

Yeah.. I've never had anything like that happen, but wow... that's a terrifying notion

eliushi [Keyspace]

You tend to want to know your betas more than just them being a reader too. I like to think my betas are my friends and it’s a two way street where I help them too

Krispy §[Ghost Junk Sickness]§

Some betas sign papers of confidentiality to avoid these instances of people running off with ur work too

eliushi [Keyspace]

There are paid betas but that’s business side and yeah Krispy

Deo101 [Millennium]

/stress

eliushi [Keyspace]

I don’t have them for mine

Krispy §[Ghost Junk Sickness]§

Its scary bc we're all so small and our work is mainly for free U have to be wary of this

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

I could easily see myself getting sucked into a bad situation like that I trust people too easily sometimes

but ugh... ya gotta learn

eliushi [Keyspace]

It’s good to know the risks. That being said, I think the rewards of having a good beta far exceed the bad apples. You have to set good boundaries

Krispy §[Ghost Junk Sickness]§

Not that any of yall would do this omgjghg

Deo101 [Millennium]

Same Claire ajdjdnsdjjjdjdjdjddj

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

gonna steal all y'alls IDEAS

eliushi [Keyspace]

It’s also totally valid to say, hey something came up and I can’t beta anymore

Key is communication

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

lmao ya gotta kill me for my ideas

Krispy §[Ghost Junk Sickness]§

Isossn Watch out for that Claire lady

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

https://tenor.com/view/laugh-giggle-mutley-dick-dastardly-snicker-gif-5552702

Krispy §[Ghost Junk Sickness]§

Omg Eli yesssSSSSS that!!! Is important for both creator and beta to have that communication

Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~

Oh no, my precious ideas!!!

Deo101 [Millennium]

Eh even if u steal my ideas you can never steal my characterizations!

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

just steal everything and make a horrible hodgepodge of all of our webcomics, like some sick frankenstein's monster

Deo101 [Millennium]

I don't think my ideas are the best part of my stories anyways :P

Ahsjdjfjdjfjdjfjdififiididkfkdje Frankensteins webcomic

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

my ideas are relevant to my cultural background so I'm like lmao

eliushi [Keyspace]

I learned from my novel days that ideas are dime and dozen and it’s the execution that counts(edited)

Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~

I would actually love that tbh

Krispy §[Ghost Junk Sickness]§

Oh no id read it tho XD

Deo101 [Millennium]

Massive crossover event

Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~

YES

PLEASE

eliushi [Keyspace]

Super smash bros when

varethane

lmao

Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~

hahaha

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

I really want people going into healthcare to critique my personal statement, but I won't send it to anyone because I've legitimately heard of people stealing others' personal statements and getting both people rejected

Deo101 [Millennium]

Wow

eliushi [Keyspace]

That’s scary and unfortunate

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

ooof

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

it's almost worse than stealing a story idea because you're stealing like

someone's life story??

or their personality??

it's extremely strange to me

Deo101 [Millennium]

Yeah that's ??????

eliushi [Keyspace]

I would consider having a mentor look over your statement but that’s veering off creator babble territory

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

oh i am doing that and very very thankful to them

Deo101 [Millennium]

Good suggestion and good point

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

After recently seeing a whole comic style/theme completely and obviously lifted from another one... yeah, the things that make your comic yours? They can absolutely be stolen whole-cloth

It's scary

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

oh no

god what even is the fun in that??

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

I don't know. I really don't.

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

you know what i want to spend years doing? telling a story that's already been told, except worse!

varethane

D:

Deo101 [Millennium]

I've had someone steal designs before

varethane

dpsofasdj I am so curious about these cases now aaahhh

Deo101 [Millennium]

Ppl do steal stuff. But what sucks for them is I'm the one with a brain and I can make new things

eliushi [Keyspace]

I’ve seen similar styles but have not seen a purposeful recreation of another’s style whether as impersonation or plagiarism

Haruh2 (Colony Life)

i just read a webtoon that was "inspired" by an anime with many ideas from anime too

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

It was a case where I always thought the two looked surprisingly similar, but then... yeah, you learn more things and you go AW GOD OKAY

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

this, and offensive stuff, is a case where i think unsolicited critique is 100% okay

Deo101 [Millennium]

Yeah, though then it's the line of "is it offensive just to me? Or overall?"

Though I guess saying "this offended me" isn't horrible or whatever

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

i think of the trend of lgbt youtubers making videos making fun of anti-lgbt crap and that's a case where i'm like yeah! pile on!

You have a good point and there are cases where something is almost objectively offensive

Deo101 [Millennium]

Yeah, and then there are other cases where ppl are offended by how I've decided to have no homophobia where it's like "okay sure but I'm not doing anything wrong"

But yeah there are definitely times where it's like "no that's bad for sure and I'm allowed to be critical of and mad about it"

I also think there's a difference between criticizing mass media and criticizing independent media

Krispy §[Ghost Junk Sickness]§

Wait What what omg???? Thats???? So backwards

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

well, here's an anti-critique. it offends me when someone says that being lgbt must be hard and sad all the time!

Deo101 [Millennium]

Yeah! I'd agree with that LOL

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

can I just be happy

as a bi woman

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

"IT'S NOT LIKE MY LIFE THEREFORE IT'S INACCURATE"

Deo101 [Millennium]

Ahdjfjskfkdkckskfksdksk yeah

Krispy §[Ghost Junk Sickness]§

So true tho!!

Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~

God, I hate that argument

Deo101 [Millennium]

Though I do think that its worth it to open yourself up to that kind of critique to potentially reach the people who do need your story

Krispy §[Ghost Junk Sickness]§

Yes def agree

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

True true

If there's a blind spot you're missing, then for sure

Deo101 [Millennium]

Well, I was meaning more like "you can't please everyone, but that shouldn't stop you from trying your best anyways!"

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

Ah! also true

Deo101 [Millennium]

Like not necessarily blind spots, but more like. Some people will be mad no matter what sorta thing

Yee

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

so tru

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

Yeah for sure. I've tried to cover my bases on certain things in my own work, but I'm sure if it ever gets bigger, someone will be unhappy about something.

I'm not ready for that day, but... maybe it'll come

Deo101 [Millennium]

Yeah. Like I said I had someone get mad at me for not having homophobia

Where it's like... Okay stop reading then cause this isn't the story for you

Actually my friends replied to then and they did kinda turn around on their thinking, I think, so that was nice!

There's something I'm bad at for the question, is replying to my comments

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

oh? :0

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

okay sometimes i've said to my friends "yo weird ass comment, right?" and they've gone and defended me like way extra hard

i'm always grateful but also a little (edited)

Deo101 [Millennium]

Yeah same. .

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

too mch man

Deo101 [Millennium]

Yeah it's like Thank you but

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

I do have some weird comments but the ones that I just kinda trying to offend me

I don't look at it till after a few months and respond to them calmly lmao

no point for me to just get rilied up for someone trying to get on my nerves but rip that's probably just me and how I deal with that stuff in irl too

I don't let my friends go after bozos lmao

Deo101 [Millennium]

Yeah for me I just like. Try really hard to be diplomatic, I guess? But it takes a lot of energy

When what I WANT to say is "lol read another comic then" or something but I try to think of a way to be nice

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

yee I understand on that. for me I'm just say it as it is if at's the moment but for more heated comments I address them after a few months lol

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

I haven't gotten any weird randos yet apart from... one legendary one But things are always calmer on your own site far away from Tapas/Webtoons

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

I agree on that but lmao

I did had one angry commenter going agro for few of my pages

and I looked at it and I was like "Oh worm man"

they were just reacting to my characters being shit LMAO

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

OH WORM MAN

very good

Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~

I ignore it tbh. I recently had someone comment "All lives matter" at the end of my comic because I included "Black lives matter" at the end. And I honestly knew i didn't have the mental fortitude to explain to them why that was so rude and missing the point.

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

lol my mom is saying that stuff and i'm just like :|

okay mother

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

I guess for writing for me, now thinking about it is that

on the prompt: I don't respond quick and I'm not really active much on interaction but I want to try more

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

I haven't gotten any weird randos yet apart from... one legendary one But things are always calmer on your own site far away from Tapas/Webtoons

I really haven't either though! Just a few people saying mildly :| things, no hate or anything. Wt is not always as scary as its reputation

or maybe i'm in the eye of the hurricane idk

Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~

lol

I have had mostly good experiences too

Deo101 [Millennium]

I've had mostly good too!

I know I complain a lot but really I'm just salty and that's just a few bad things here and there

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

The comment I was thinking about earlier was just an innaccurate interpretation of characters' feelings. They thought some people had a romantic history. I wasn't going to respond but my friend went all "if you actually read the comic you would see th- " and I was thinking omg tone it down a bit

Deo101 [Millennium]

Bajsjdjekdjdkdjd

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

never underestimate the Friend Army

Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~

I had a reader I didn't know defend me in the comments once. The original commenter was complaining about the length of my updates, and the other reader started railing on them. It was powerful lmao. I didn't even need to say anything

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

Oh! same

Deo101 [Millennium]

I've had some ppl defend me or explain for me and it's like. Idk a special kind of magic ahahahah

Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~

Oh for sure! It feels magical to know that some of your readers passionately love your work

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

Update-length complainers are so cathartic to smack down. Not that I've done it, I just... like seeing it

You're getting a free comic. Made by a human with a life. Chill

sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)

All my comments are normal where are my weirdos

boogeymadam

someone take some of my weirdos, my comic attracts them

but not really because i accidentally gave claire one of my weirdos and i feel Sooooo bad

Haruh2 (Colony Life)

i feel im still a long way off from getting anyone with my comic

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

weirdos are contagious apparently

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

You don't have to be popular to get a weirdo

Sometimes like... you could have 1 regular commenter and that person is a weirdo

or not even a commenter, you show your work to a RL friend before posting it online, and the friend takes off their mask dramatically, and reveals their True Identity as a professional weirdo

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

for real, i was posting on SJ and had all of like a dozen followers and one guy went through and heavily critiqued a ton of my pages

Like technical stuff like paneling and flow of action?

Also said my female lead looks like a man and my animation was nauseating lol

Haruh2 (Colony Life)

heh well after i do this current update im working on, i'll be scraping how ive been doing updates and following some tutorials i finally found

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

I like critique but even so that guy was :|

boogeymadam

omg noooo sorry that happened fish! D: unsolicited critics are some of the worst

DanitheCarutor

I guess that is the one thing I've been lucky with. I actually don't mind unsolicited critique, but I've never gotten any outside of one time someone corrected my character's grammar in the comments. Commentary like that is way more welcome than the occasional anonymous hate comment, and malicious article calling me a fetishist, which is all entertaining in its own way but not as easy to deal with. Now that critique is brought up I'm reminded that I need to work on how I respond to it. Like, I actually get kind of excited when someone takes the time to break down my stuff (even if it totally misses the mark with what I'm trying to accomplish), but I end up responding with a novel and sometimes it's worded in a way that sounds like I'm upset. I need to get better at keeping it short and sweet.

Feather J. Fern

I raise my hand to say I can't draw hands for the life of me still after praticing for a long time. I used all the techiques, tricks, and still my hands are just butts.

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

make a universe where people have butts for hands

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

This is a really minor one and thankfully easy to correct after publishing, but: my ESL-ness shows sometimes, especially with prepositions and articles. My English isn't terrible; there's just some occasional "wait did they mean 'on' where they put 'in'..." That's on the surface level. I also can't do that 'just write the dialog and see how the characters bounce off each other' thing in English. I hadn't thought much about that until I started writing a story in Korean, and I was surprised how much easier it was to get flowin' with the dialog. I'm not toooo concerned about this one, as Get Flowin' is just one way of writing a scene. But it is a thing.

Feather J. Fern

Eightfish stop calling me out that I can draw butts better than hands okay(edited)

shadowhood {SunnyxRain}

feather have fun drawing the gluteus maximus

Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~

I see nothing wrong here

Moral_Gutpunch

I'm bettign most people here can draw hands better than me.(edited)

shadowhood {SunnyxRain}

S’okay, my hand drawing is pretty bad

Feet is...also an issue

Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~

The best reference is the one attached to you, I always say

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

or make your so pose for you

Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~

Yes

That

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

looks back at comic and sees lots of guy characters with slender palms MHMMMM

Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~

Hahaha

Lol

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

ahahha i have the same problem

some guys have thick ass fingers when i look at them closely omg

Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~

Yeah, everyone has pretty thin fingers in mine, because I have thin fingers(edited)

shadowhood {SunnyxRain}

Okay yeah not gonna lie I HAVE made my SO pose for me. Several times.

Oh yeah don’t forget

Guys can have hairy knuckles too

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

I have had my SO pose his hands retroactively for me, imitating a panel I did And I was screaming inside LOL

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

this stuff makes me :00

Deo101 [Millennium]

I have hairy knucles and my hands are bigger than my dads

Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~

Ughhhh, that's too much detail for me, Shadow

shadowhood {SunnyxRain}

Yoslslzlzrhlzxzzkhzhlztututs funnily enough my SO’s hands and mine are of similar length

Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~

For such a small person, I have really long fingers

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

reminded me of a convo i had with some friends

they sent a reference and said they thought it was unrealistic because of how much the tendons stick out

and i said, no, that's how mine look

and it was interesting seeing the differences

Deo101 [Millennium]

everyone share hands

Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~

I mean, especially since your fingers are stretched, the tendons stick out lol(edited)

shadowhood {SunnyxRain}

Someone told me I have piano fingers

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

like i always think of my hands as the 'default,' because I see them the most but really there is much variation

deo has nice hands

look elegant

shadows hands look a lot like the rest of her :0

shadowhood {SunnyxRain}

Whhhhhhhhh

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

tall librarian

shadowhood {SunnyxRain}

GJOXJPSLZLJZDXKXYOF

Yeah true XD

Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~

My nails are super long rn

shadowhood {SunnyxRain}

Holy shit the manicures

Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~

I did it myself

Deo101 [Millennium]

thank U i have lovely hands that are big as fuck, and I can use as a ruler

because my pinky and thumb can stretch out exactly 10 inches

this cup is 10 inches tall

youre welcome

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

I have stubby baby hands as well as double jointed fingers, so I'm very aware my hands aren't "average" looking. Yet if I don't pay attention, I tend to draw hands kind of like mine

Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~

Hahahaha, Deo!!

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

wow so useful i should measure my hands

Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~

Me too tbh

Deo101 [Millennium]

I atually suggest it it comes in handy (ha) more than youd think

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

i found a joint that measures exactly 1 inch and i use it so much

Deo101 [Millennium]

yeah!!!

shadowhood {SunnyxRain}

Whoooooa

Mine goes 8 inches

Deo101 [Millennium]

my hands are fookin hyuge bro

shadowhood {SunnyxRain}

Wait

8.5

YEAH YOURS ARE GIANT

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

exactly 8 inches

omg your hands are huge

Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~

Mine stretch out to just under 7.5 inches

Deo101 [Millennium]

in yalls defense I also have ehlers danlos so theyre probably stretching more than yours too

Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~

I have smol hands because I am smol

Deo101 [Millennium]

tiney

Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~

Yus

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

surprised shadow managed to find a way to measure in inches haha

Deo101 [Millennium]

she said it wrong its actually 8.5 cm

shadowhood {SunnyxRain}

8.5 inches

I used a ruler

In cm it’s 21

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

she said it wrong its actually 8.5 cm

hm maybe that's why she thinks hands are hard to draw

shadowhood {SunnyxRain}

LMHfhgzmzjKfhl

Deo101 [Millennium]

because she has tiny baby hands and can barely hold the pencil... yes

its all coming together

shadowhood {SunnyxRain}

I will slap y’all with my tiny baby doll hands

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

i'm learning so much about you all today

Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~

Now you see my pain

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

o h wait do you play music crona?

Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~

Uh... Not really. I've messed around on the piano, and failed at playing the French horn

Deo101 [Millennium]

LMAO

Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~

Playing instruments is hard for smol hands

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

rip

Feather J. Fern

My tiny hands compared to my pen XD

Also I took the picture close up and at an angle so not cone cna make fun of my writsts which are narrower than my computer mouse

Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~

my wrists are also narrower than my mouse, and my mouse is pretty small

Deo101 [Millennium]

mine's about the same as my mouse

Feather J. Fern

Yeah I got a pretty small mouse too, I been told by people to eat more becuase of my wrists (It's an Asian thing apparently) and I'm like "First of all rude, second of all my health is not any of your concern random lady on the street"

Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~

yup

Tiny wrist solidarity!

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

Solidarity!

varethane

I don't have especially thin wrists but my hands are lowkey shaped pretty oddly. I only posted a photo of my hand petting a cat to FB and got a lot of comments like 'cute cat but what's with that hand????'

(it did look pretty weird from that angle. Like a noodle with a couple of noodlefingers at the end)

spacerocketbunny

Oh no Vare ;;;;;3;;;;;;;;;

[peterstanslizzie]

Re-watching Lizzie Mcguire: Episode 1.16 (Obsession)

- This episode starts off on a positive note; Lizzie and Miranda are congratulated by their teacher, Miss Moran for a job well done on the food drive they organised at school. 

- Lizzie’s parents and Matt are also there and we come to find out that Matt is the new hall monitor in his school. Lizzie makes fun of him because apparently being a hall monitor means being thrown in the trash can a lot. Even Sam can attest to this, based on his past memory:

Those thick rimmed glasses look huge on his tiny head lol

The Science Olympics 

- Lizzie, Gordo and Miranda are talking to each other on the phone and Lizzie asks Gordo why he wasn’t at the food drive. He tells them he was busy preparing for the upcoming ‘Science Olympics’ that week, which includes:-

1. Long-distance paper airplane contest

2. The egg drop

3. Slow bicycle race

- Larry Tudgeman has always been the champion of the ‘Science Olympics’ but Gordo is determined to win this year. Lizzie is annoyed because Gordo won’t be able to help them with their next volunteering project. Gordo should be able to do whatever he wants Lizzie. She seems to be a little too headstrong and determined about doing these volunteering projects, which relays back to the title of this episode, ‘Obsession’. In contrast, Miranda isn’t too excited about helping out.

Lizzie’ Recycling Project

- At dinner in the Mcguire household, which they’re having fried chicken with salad served on the side (that looks yummy), Matt is describing to Jo and Sam his day as a school hall monitor and he seems pretty into it. Lizzie arrives a little late for dinner and Matt uses this opportunity to I guess ‘flex’ his hall monitor status and write her a ticket. 

I gotta say this again, their fried chicken looks good

- Lizzie has her own announcement to make; She and Miranda are going to start a recycling project at the Digital Bean. She plans to separate out the garbage into plastic, paper and glass. But where’s aluminium/metal? That’s pretty important to sort out too. She is also thinking of implementing this practice in their own home, which doesn’t seem to make her parents too thrilled about the idea. 

- We skip straight to the Digital Bean and we see Lizzie and Miranda busy sorting out garbage. Miranda isn’t fond of going through the garbage and I don’t blame her, especially when it’s not your own house garbage. Umm, and why are they not wearing any gloves? That’s just nasty because we don’t even know what’s inside the trash cans of the Digital Bean!

I recommend you two wear some gloves!

- Lizzie goes a little overboard when she’s explaining to Miranda the point of recycling the different items they’re sorting. But I actually like how passionate Lizzie is about saving the planet because this issue is still relevant, even more so today. Plus, seeing how clueless Miranda is about recycling and our Earth, Lizzie is kinda justified in how she’s acting. 

Long Time No See Parker!

- As both girls are about to have their lunch, Parker Mackenzie pops up and lets them know how impressed she is with their recycling project. 

I didn’t know Parker was a so-called ‘Green Warrior’

- Parker spots Lizzie’s beef burger on the table and starts questioning why she’s going to eat a “poor dead animal’. She then unexpectedly shouts at Lizzie and calls her a ‘meat eater’. This girl has no chill whatsoever. Lizzie now feels bad and thinks she should become a vegetarian from now on. 

- My opinion on all of this is simple. If a person wants to go vegan or become a vegetarian, go for it. But please don’t judge those who didn’t make the same decision due to factors like socioeconomic status or health conditions. We all are able to play a part in helping our environment, even meat-eaters like myself. I for one, support sustainable farming practices and will only buy products derived from them. So, just because I eat meat, it doesn’t mean I’m reckless about our planet’s dwindling resources. 

Gordo vs Larry

- We switch things over to Gordo’s ‘Science Olympics’ plot and we see Gordo and Larry studying for the upcoming competition in a classroom. They are sitting opposite to one another and are staring down at each other with extreme competitiveness. 

The tension between the two looks very deep lol

- Larry is trying to get under Gordo’s skin by reminding him of all the times he lost to him in previous competitions. But Gordo stands up for himself and also does his part to intimidate Larry by saying that he is in his head? Mmkay...

“I own you” The tension is real y’all!

Lizzie Gets Carried Away 

Lizzie is taking on another volunteer project and this time, it’s a clothing drive. She’s planning to give away a bunch of her own clothes to the homeless and she’s even gotten to the point where she wants to give away the food that Jo wants to cook. Now that’s pretty extreme...

- Lizzie even gets an attitude when Sam doesn’t sort out the garbage for recycling as she tasked him to do. I love how Sam actually called her out on her behaviour. 

- Miranda shows up at the house and she’s proudly modeling her new leather jacket to Lizzie. But Lizzie isn’t happy about this either because leather jackets are made from cows and since Lizzie’s now a vegetarian, she doesn’t support Miranda’s fashion choice. Miranda thinks that Lizzie is totally overreacting and they are at odds with each other once again....

“Fine, so don’t eat my jacket” OMG I’m hollering!

- Miranda finds Gordo in a classroom, who is exhausted from throwing paper airplanes all day and tries to vent to him about Lizzie but he is too focused on the paper airplane competition after school. Suddenly, Lizzie shows up and she’s horrified by all the paper Gordo had used/wasted to test out his airplane designs. 

Matt Gets Carried Away

- Well, it seems like being a hall monitor is getting to Matt’s head. He’s been giving people too many citations for no good reason. But judging from the montage I just watched of him giving these citations, they seem appropriate? I mean, the signs on the walls do say “Buckle Up” and “Walk Don’t Run”. So, isn’t Matt just following these rules? Unless, of course, he actually posted those rules himself.

I know that this is a Disney show but that’s a pretty physical thing for a teacher to do to a student.

Lizzie in Burlap 

- After a strange ‘cowboy’ style stare-down between Larry and Gordo, we find out that Larry had won the egg drop and Gordo won the long distance airplane contest. Therefore, the slow bicycle race will decide who the winner of the ‘Science Olympics’ is. However, things aren’t looking so good for Gordo because is so sleepy from all the prep he’s been doing. 

- Miranda is trying her hardest to get Lizzie to snap out of her over-the-top ‘Let’s Save The Planet’ mindset but she just won’t listen to her. She’s even wearing clothes made out of burlap because it’s eco-friendly. But I think she still looks cute in that outfit. 

- They’re about to sit for a pop quiz but Lizzie has something to say to Miss Moran about the way she has printed out their quiz on only one side of the paper. Woah, she’s so brave to talk to her teacher like that. Anyways, she isn’t having any of her attitude and sends Lizzie to pack up her things and go home. 

Is this another episode of ‘Bad Girl Mcguire’ or what?

The Mcguire Kids Get Sent Home Early

- As you can see from the title, both Lizzie and Matt are sent home from school earlier than usual because of their respective ‘commitments’. Matt seems to be very power-hungry and he just can’t stand the fact that he isn’t able to issue more citations in school. 

- Sam and Jo advise Lizzie to not be so concerned about saving the environment because it’s gotten to the point where she’s alienating everyone around her and not taking care of herself. They want her to pick just one thing to take on and focus on that. Lizzie also admits she’s been a terrible friend to both Miranda and Gordo and she wants to go back to school to support Gordo in the slow bicycle race. 

The Slow Bicycle Race

Gordo as an Aerodynamic Elvis Presley

- Next, we are taken to the Slow-Speed Bicycle Race between Gordo and Larry. Both Lizzie and Miranda are there to support Gordo, who is dressed up as Elvis Presley in an aerodynamically designed costume to increase his wind resistance. 

- The race begins and Gordo is winning because he’s behind Larry. But, Gordo is starting to become sleepy again and actually falls off his bike just before Larry is about to cross the finish line and lose. This means that Gordo is disqualified from the race, unfortunately. 

Poor Gordo! But at least he still looks good after falling

- The last scene is Lizzie apologising to Gordo and Miranda for the way she’s been acting. But Lizzie did leave an impact on Miranda and her family because they’re now cutting up their 6 packs. Larry swoops past them on his bike and makes fun of Gordo’s height but luck did not stay by his side this time because he crashed into something lol.

Overall Thoughts

- The messaging in this episode definitely sticks out to me, which of course is about doing what we can to protect our planet and its resources. Young kids can definitely watch this episode and learn the basics of recycling and sustainability. I respect Lizzie’s commitment to the environment; It’s believable and I like how well-informed she is at that age. 

- Obviously, she’s gotten carried away with her efforts but her heart is in the right place. Her parents also taught her a very good lesson of narrowing down her scope and focusing on 1 or 2 projects. Balance of responsibilities is definitely important and so is taking care of yourself.

- Matt’s storyline isn’t so bad because it relates a lot to Lizzie’s. Their story-lines definitely ran in parallel to one another and I like how Sam pointed out to Lizzie that she and Matt have more in common than she thinks. But I don’t think Matt is shown to have learned his lesson unlike Lizzie. Overall, it’s a very good episode. 

[bthump]

madchen replied to your post “Let's say Griffith was kinda aware of his feelings. What kind of...”

omg the razing falconia one... these are all so good especially the fact that griffith would have cliche dubcon fantasies about enemy warlord guts fucking him. like he wants it but he wants guts to take it from him so he doesn’t have to make that choice, and irl guts would never do anything like that to griffith which is why it’s so good. and griffith would try so hard to not bring emotions into it but he’s def finished once while accidentally imagining guts telling him “i love you”- and it fucked him up good afterwards. doooo you have any thoughts on like flip side guts fantasies involving griffith? like canon, post eclipse, au where they get together, any spin really? i think guts is way more like, sweet and vanilla in his imagination than griffith (tho griffith is vanilla too just more active imagination) + idol more basic? but man…he’s just so canonically focused on griffs physical beauty and says some romantic ass shit it’s gotta be saccharine and ridiculous sometimes griffith def fantasizes about like, calling guts to his tent and complimenting him on being an Excellent Soldier or whatever and “rewards” him via a blowjob. or like corny gay porn scenario where griffith makes that “wow what a big sword i wouldn’t be able to handle it” comment he makes in the ovas that leads to like griffith jerking him off of w/e

God like I wish I had the ability to start and then finish a fic because I feel like Guts and Griffith’s fantasies about each other would make a great series of character studies lmao. Like Griffith coming when he accidentally thinks about Guts telling him he loves him and then being out of sorts all day, that’s solid stuff right there.

Also ngl that “it’s an amazing sword, I could never wield it” line (which is also in the manga actually, tho the ova adds a suggestive sword movement so credit where it’s due) is such a perfect cliche porn intro, it would be tragic if it never featured in either of their fantasies.

As for Guts’ fantasies... during the Golden Age honestly I don’t think his fantasies would’ve ever got further than imagining leaning in and brushing Griffith’s hair back during the staircase Zodd conversation, or something like that. Coming back from his dream journey, meeting Griffith again as his equal, embracing him in a manly fashion, aaaaaand then his mind trails off and he gets moody and scowly for no apparent reason. It’s really hard for me to imagine him as self aware about wanting to fuck Griffith back then.

Tho maybe in the very early days he’d think about it, yk not long after he asked Griffith if he was gay, offered sex as stakes for the duel, and got all “commander Griffith, are you trying to seduce me” before the naked waterfight. But I don’t think he’d make the connection between wondering about it and wanting it at that point. And I feel like once he started considering Griffith his friend those thoughts would mostly fade. And if the question of sex with Griffith popped into his head again later on it would be with a bit of exasperation and bemusement, rather than any longing (that he’s aware of). So less a fantasy and more of an occasionally recurring stray thought that he doesn’t want to consider too closely.

He would’ve started thinking about sex as a real option, at least one he could’ve/should’ve pursued in the past, about 20 minutes after realizing he shouldn’t’ve left at the end of chapter 71, but then the Eclipse happened and he had other things to think about lol.

But I think Guts definitely, like honestly very nearly canonically as far as I’m concerned, started fantasizing about him properly after NGriff’s resurrection.

Like you’re gonna look at this page and tell me Guts did not jerk it while picturing this that very night?

Please. Let’s be reasonable here.

Throw in the Beast of Darkness’ taunts about Guts dreaming about Griffith and longing for him and Guts’ urge to get “closer and closer to Griffith” through a sexual act, and I consider this reading a pretty easy sell lol.

Anyway at this point Guts’ fantasies about Griffith would be a wildly confusing and painful mashup of regret and longing for the past and just replaying moments with Griffith in his head imagining actually going for it and kissing Griffith and having sex with him and never ruining anyone’s life, and like dark and violent fantasies about NeoGriffith. Like lbr here we already saw eroguro shit with Casca thanks to the Beast of Darkness, that style of dark is a shoe-in.

To get more detailed wrt the former, at this point I feel like Guts is aware that Griffith loved him. It’s not something he often wants to think about because it makes him sad and confused, but he knows it. A dude doesn’t destroy his own life and spend a year in a torture chamber after you leave him just because you’re his bff. He knows that there’s a good chance if he kissed Griffith back then, Griffith would’ve wanted it and everything else Guts could give him.

Guts would imagine kissing him during a night of like victory celebrations or w/e and having tender emotional sex in one of their dark tents. He’d imagine kissing him and sucking him off against a tree after the ‘do you think i’m cruel’ conversation to demonstrate exactly how he sees Griffith. He’d imagine bending Griffith over the desk in his study, lying together with him as Griffith reads one of his books, bathing together and getting playful in the water, fighting back to back and fucking after emerging victorious, Griffith saving his life and then kissing him passionately in a thank-god-you’re-alive way. Griffith lying on top of him, leaning down to kiss him with his hair falling around Guts’ head like a curtain. Griffith telling him about Gennon and telling Guts how good and unlike him or any other monster he is.

Not realistic but yk emotionally true, maybe strolling right up the Promrose Hall steps and kissing Griffith in front of Charlotte to directly and smugly challenge his speech, leaving him dazed and needy and staring at him like he’s the only thing in the world. Guts would imagine that focused gaze a lot in hindsight, after missing its significance at the time.

Ooh and Guts would have a few fantasies of Griffith watching him and jerking off to him. Like he’d fantasize about Griffith fantasizing about him. “I found someone I really wanted to have look at me,” come on. He wants to be wanted so bad.

Oh and speaking of that, a lot of his dark present-day fantasies would involve forcing NGriff to look at him and acknowledge him. And like, that could easily veer into sad angst too, imagining seeing glimpses of his Griffith through NGriff’s mask while he’s fucking him and/or stabbing a sword through him or whatever else, that kind of thing.

Liiiiike Guts is a giant mess at this point of the story, it’s perfect for cramming in all this wildly emotional stuff lol. He’s having a bad time psychologically and this mix of tenderness and regret and painful emotional truths and neediness and loneliness and rage and violence and hatred and love, man, it could all manifest through this longing for Griffith.

Oh and finally in like, say an AU where they got together during the Golden Age and lived happily ever after, a lot of the human Griffith fantasies would still apply like yk Guts getting off to Griffith getting off to him, life-saving, fighting together, etc.

But I think Guts in that situation would also have some possessive fantasies as well, especially if he’s feeling a little neglected while Griffith pursues his dream. Leaving mild marks and bruises so Griffith thinks about him throughout the day, fantasizing about teasing him so he’s uncomfortably turned on before a meeting with nobles or something, maybe more out there, unrealistic fantasies like having the ability to touch him from a distance or being invisible and (consensually imo) caressing him while he’s socializing at a ball until Griffith’s poker face breaks (but no humilliation kink, that wouldn’t be Guts’ style, the fantasy would just end at that point imo), yk that kind of thing.

Also if he hasn’t heard the Promrose Hall speech, after a while of having regular sex with Griffith I think he’d probably be somewhat into the idea of v mild d/s with Griffith giving orders. More praise kink than anything, like Griffith telling him exactly how he wants to be fucked or blown in a moderately commanding way, and Guts doing it and Griffith being very vocal in his appreciation, telling him how good he is. I feel like I just described a sex scenario more than a fantasy, but yk Guts could imagine it for a while before doing it, and I feel like Griffith would actually not be into that so it might stay a fantasy.

And he’d fantasize about Griffith fucking him for a while before he got the nerve to ask him to.

Ok that’s all I got for now, ty for asking and giving me the opportunity to write another giant post about griffguts sexual fantasies lol. lmk if you have any more thoughts on this!