#THIS WAS SO SOFT AAAAHH

[itsallaboutbl]

I bit myself to make sure this wasn't a dream.

[yuujispinkhair]

@itadoreyu @sunshine7queen @hxhhasmysoul

10 years later

[moviecritc]

strawberry shortcake ⋆ carlos sainz smau

pairing: carlos sainz x reader (fc: various from pinterest)

summary: everyone is surprised about the woman that carlos is dating, knowing how classy he is

warnings: some hate comments

a/n: i'm blonde and i'm planing to do pink highlights for this summer, so this seemed fun to do <3

masterlist | wattpad | letterboxd

yourusername just posted!

liked by carlossainz55, alexandrasaintmleux and 1,409 others

yourusername 9 to 5 🌶️

view all comments

yourbff stop being so cool you're making others seem lame

user1 is this carlos new gf?

user2 i think she is! they were seen together two weeks ago, he soft launched a dinner and now she's posting watching the race, so they probably are

alexandrasaintmleux ohh gorgeous 😍 liked by author

user3 girl you're like 27 what are you doing dying your hair pink

user4 nah some people are allergic to having personality

carlossainz55 🥰🌶️

user5 pls tell me that he's just being friendly user6 no bc what is he doing with a girl like that... she looks so messy user7 that's exactly what i was thinking! nothing against her, but she's not the type of woman for carlos

view all comments

user1 i'm sorry, but she's a no for me

user2 she works in fashion????

user3 ultimate cool girl frr

user4 ok i've stalked her and she is GORGEOUSSS, and effortlestly cool?? i would die for being half cool of her

user5 dying my hair pink rn

user6 i can't believe there's people saying that she's not enough for carlos?? girl, carlos is not enough for HER

user7 FRRR she is THAT GIRL, in capital letters and bold

user8 i've dig a little and i found a few things: she was born in ireland (irish queen, i can't imagine how cool is to hear her talk), studied marketing at trinity college and moved to london a few years ago, she was a month in madrid last march (probably when she met carlos)

user9 i mean cool, but please go touch some grass

carlossainz55 just posted!

liked by yourusername, scuderiaferrari and 32,654 others

carlossainz55 So excited to race in Australia this weekend 🔜 🇦🇺

view all comments

yourusername 🤞🏻🔜

user1 SHE'S COMING TO A RACE? user2 honestly i would be embarrased to go to a gp with her

user4 carlos you have to update your taste in women bc wtf

user5 imagine calling yourself a carlos fan and hating on his gf who literally did nothing

user6 we're not hating, she's just vulgar, that's factual

user7 i can't believe people is making this post all about his relationship

view all comments

user1 her outfits are in another level

user2 Carlos couldn't stop touching her, he's DOWN BAD

user3 she looks so sweet, i don't understand the hate

user4 she's iconic, you guys are just boring people

yourusername just posted on her story!

[caption 1: gettin ready for the race 💋] [caption 2: thank you for this @scuderiaferrari]

replies

carlossainz55 c'mere i need my good luck kiss

carlossainz55 i mean you ARE the prettiest and i'm the luckiest

user1 ok you actually look nice

user2 first time i see one of the wags being grateful with the team

Carlos interview after quali

f1 just posted!

liked by yourusername, scuderiaferrari and 23,0129 others

f1 CARLOS SAINZ WINS IN AUSTRALIA 🤩

view all comments

user1 SMOOOTHHH 🌶🌶

user2 and this man doesn't have a seat?? be ffr

user3 ALL I SEE IS SAINZ, ALL I SEE IS CARLOS SAINZ 💅🏼

user4 and that podium>>>>>

user5 YESSS his gf was there and looked so so happy user6 omg i saw it!!

yourusername VAMOSS ❤️💛

user7 oh hi y/n user8 you speak spanish? user9 i love her. i don't care you guys don't, but she's da best

carlossainz55 just posted!

liked by landonorris, yourusername and 72,102 others

carlossainz55 Unforgettable weekend ❤️💛

tagged; yourusername

view all comments

yourusername Beyond proud of you darling ❤️🥹 liked by author

carlossainz55 Te amo ❤️ user2 AAAAHH I LOVE EM user3 brb im taking a bath with a toaster

user1 so we're hard launching now?

user2 she's his lucky charms, 100% sure

user3 bro casually hard launches in his race win post

user4 carlos and y/n picture was a jumpscare. but like a good jumpscare, and not scary at all im actually in love with them

user5 looking for a third?

yourusername just posted!

liked by carlossainz55, yourbff and 9,427 others

yourusername Left the office to support this handsome fella 💞💞

tagged; carlossainz55

view all comments

carlossainz55 Te amo, hermosa. My lucky charm 🍀👩‍❤️‍💋‍👨

yourusername Can't wait to the next one 😊😊 user2 I CAN'T THEY'RE TOO PRECIOUS user3 there's nothing better than private but not secret but also not too private relationships

user1 I thought i was early but carlos' already here

user4 and they've been dating for over a year, if i had to wait so much to post carlos sainz i would've died

user5 ugly as fuck liked by author

user6 not y/n liking it- user7 LMAO I ADORE HER

alexandrasaintmleux Coolest ❤️

yourusername i'm afraid that's you hun ❤️ user8 this is so cute ngl user9 wags that get along with each other >>>

user10 y/n, do you speak spanish?

yourusername Un poco, Carlos me está enseñando 🥰 (a little bit, Carlos is teaching me)

elleuk and carlossainz55 just posted!

liked by yourusername, scuderiaferrari and 12,012 more

elleuk He was the only non-Red Bull Racing race winner in last season in Formula 1, and the first one this year. And althought his place in F1 is still unknown, it is certain that Carlos Sainz has already left a legacy in the sport.

The April issue of ELLE UK is out March 28. Read the interview at the link in our bio.

view all comments

user1 Oh we all know who edited this pictures

user6 and he even changed the pfp to the first one, he's obsessed

carlossainz55 Thinking of pursuing a modeling career after this

yourusername You should. I'll edit your pics 🤝 user3 i'll tell my kids they were adam and eve

user2 the pictures are fabulous

user7 we all say together: thanks y/n

user4 WE'RE BEING FED WITH THIS PICTURES

user5 why is anybody talking about the interview?? he's the CUTEST talking about her

user8 YESS, i read it and i died of sweetness user9 they're so wholesome i love them

[yuujispinkhair]

Sooo what are your headcanons on Yuuji's 🍆 ?👀👀👀

AAAAHH NORA!!! This made me laugh 😂😂💗💗 but of course I have thought about this quite a lot 😘

18+. Smut. All characters are of age. Minors don’t interact.

I imagine Yuuji’s dick like this: average in length but very thick with a pretty dark pink tip (like the lipstick shade Modesty by MAC), with round and heavy balls. He gets hard really fast and is leaking a lot of pre-cum. Also cums A LOT. He has an insane amount of stamina, so it doesn’t matter if your sweet Yuuji gets too excited sometimes and cums too fast. He will be rock hard and ready for the next round super quickly 😘

He is a grower too. Like, he is already thick when he’s soft but when he gets hard you will be presented with a super fat cock that can make you a quite a bit nervous. But don’t worry, Yuuji will make it fit (in a gentle way!). He’ll take good care of you and prepare you for hours if you need it 💗 Doesn’t matter if he already busts a load or two into his pants while eating you out. He still has more for you that he can nut into you 😘

Also, Yuuji has pink pubic hair. He usually shaves it though (because in the porn he watches the guys usually are shaved/waxed too) but sometimes there is a soft tuft of pretty pink hair around his thick base + a matching pink happy trail 😍

[gassyandnasty]

Since you are writing the backstage series, can you make one of Henry Cavill?

I'd love to see him burping in his fan's face, forcing him to sniff his armpits and butt

Backstage - Henry Cavill

Oh, Henry... needless to say that he is everybody's dream, but he is very hard to find, and those big studios aren't easy to sneak on, but I had my way.

I started to hear that he was having a lot of trouble with the costume department, so they were hiring more people to take care of this problem. When I got into the studio to do an interview, a guy with teary eyes, coughing his way out approached me:

"Are you applying for the costume department?" He said between coughs.

"Yeah...I-" he didn’t let me finish.

"Take this" he handed me his credentials and said, "I can't take this any second if this anymore."

He left while I didn't question all the chaos, after all, I was going to meet Henry Cavill!

I came into his trailer and saw him getting ready to shoot. The guy who ran out of here must have been helping him, since he is standing on a pedestal trying to fit into a spandex suit.

"Might you... help me with this?" Henry requested and I froze. Was I going to finally touch all of that body?

I couldn't resist, I approached and started my amateur service, soon I saw why he needed help, that suit was really tight. His upper body was bare because his suit wouldn't pass his thighs.

"Okay... raise your arms." I commanded and he didnt question. There was no reason for this, only for admiring his hairy pits. They were sweaty from the effort of trying to put this on.

"Uhm... how much am I going to stay in this position?" Henry asked.

"Oh I'm just calculating your measures so I can try to fix..."

"No need, this suit was made for me months ago, but they asked for me to reshoot on MY vacations, I'm not skipping my barbecues and burguers for that."

"Oh... I see..." I signalize for him to put his arms down as I take advantage to measure his chest, and yeah... it was made of STEEL, but just to hide my obvious amusement, I asked:

"And how are you planning to fit in this?"

I heard Henry laughing as he stopped to pat his belly. Indeed, some fat featured his ripped muscles, which made him even more delicious.

"I'm a little bloated, so I'll have to let some out..." when he pat his belly again, it stirred something within, and he ripped a deep and gurgly belch on my face:

OOOOOOoooooooooooooUUUUUUUUUUUU888RRRRRRRRRRRRRPPPP!!

It exploded on my face, and smelt like burguers. He ripped with no shame, as his expression changed to relief.

"Aaaahh, I think I'm lighter after this." Henry laughed at my coughing fit. "Try to pull the suit up again.

I was a little shocked, but I crouched down to do what he said, at least I was not in the line of his burps again.

With all my force, I managed to pull his suit past his thighs, and now Im stuck at his ass. I think his cheeks are bigger than my head, soft yet strong, but aren't yielding even a little for the spandex.

"Oh, I wouldn't crouch down over there if I was you buddy! Haha" I could hear henry say from above. As I could feel he grabbing the back of my head even closer to his ass.

PBPBPBPBPPBPBPBPBPBPBPBPBPBPBBBBBBBFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFTTTTTTTTTTT

He ripped a beast of a fart on my face, making it rumble and jiggle with the force of his cheeks. I fell down into another fit as he was laughing. Somebody came in.

"You are late, and what's that smell? Eww..." I could hear another assistant.

"I'm trying to deflate to fit into the suit" Henry says with a shit-eating grin as he fans behind his ass.

"We dont have time for that, stinky. Just come out that we put cgi all over it. Geez...." they left as I felt light-headed.

CGI? So I didn't have to take those bombs in the face....

[millspyxis]

@callimara @therentyoupay

hiii hello i'm submitting some fanart i made for pt I of act III of your guys' jelsa fic!!

Without warning, Jack extended his arm, and opened his palm, revealing the smooth, pale skin of his hand. A chill emanated from his fingertips, and the air around him began to shimmer with an icy mist. Elsa’s eyes widened as a soft blue light pulsed from the center of his palm, growing brighter. The temperature around his hand dropped rapidly, and tiny ice crystals formed in the air, swirling around his hand in an intricate dance. The ice magic coalesced into a brilliant, glowing sphere, hovering just above his palm. It radiated a cold so intense it seemed to burn, the raw power of winter condensed into a tangible form. Jack’s gaze was unwavering, his connection to the magic absolute. Elsa’s whole face was slack with shock.

"Are you— you're like me?"

HEEHEE technically ive had this done for a while but i'm finally posting it aaaahh hope you like it :3

[lokisbiiiitch1993]

41 and 43 for the inexperienced smut prompts!!!

Inexperienced Smut Prompt List

43 “Are you sure this is your first time?”

41 “(If you like it), we can go all night.”

Loki x Reader Smut

Not for Minors 🚨⚠️🔞🙅

Are you sure this is your first time? You hear Loki ask as he moved his Hand down your panties.

Taking a deep breath - Yes .. you answered - your heart beating fast - aroused

I .. I ... prepared myself mentally for this moment ...I also read a lot about it.. - you tried to explain a bit embarrassed

So .. My Love,you are not afraid or nervous? Loki questioned in a soft Tone

Noo ..mmh.. I .. I trust you.. I love you... you confessed

He smiled content with your answer

Darling, so wet already for me ? Loki teased before using your Wetness as natural lube to use on your clit

Loookii - you moaned breathing heavily mhhm ..that feels soo good

Darling,if you like it that much, we can go all night - he teased smirking

Mhm Loki.. I need you.. I need more.. was all he needed to hear before carefully inserting a Finger then another - thrusting deeper and deeper making you gasp and a moaning mess - making your legs tremble and shake - aaahh aaaahh.."that was intense "- your first ever Orgasm - it felt for a moment almost too much

Turned on even more by the sight of you he kissed you hard - sucking and massing your Tongue

"Darling, if you really want to do this , take off your panties and spread your legs wide for me " he commanded

Obeying him you lay there in his Huge Bed naked - a bit nervous but ready for him

"I will be gentle,I promise" Loki comforted as he used a solid amount of lube on you - rubbing his Cock playfully between your folds before sliding it in slowly - for a moment you winced feeling a sharp pain and got tears in your eyes " relax , Darling" is all you heard before he spread your legs further apart to get easier access to get deeper inside

Wiping your tear away he started moving - the more he moved the less it hurt and pleasure took over - starting to moan again

Loki .....it feels....soo good . .I think I am soo Close .. - you stuttered

"Good ...Then cum for me,my Love"

Satisfied and exhausted you laid there watching him - thinking how sexy he is

Loki kissed your Cheek and kept praising you telling you "You did so well,my Dear"

My Masterlist

[teecupangel]

Hi tee! Hope you're having a good day! It's the toxic AltDes a/b/o nonny and*hands you my kidneys* AAAAHH I LOVE IT!! it wasn't as toxic but it was great nonetheless!!!

OKOK so I just had another idea.

Omega Desmond and Alpha Maria.

I have no idea how this idea came to be but it did LOL

So this is gonna be a Maria x Desmond pairing, idk it just sounds so interesting.

In this au women are still treated like shit, so that Maria's story would still fit canon (I love Maria's lore) but omegas are also treated like shit. Of course

You can do the entire Desmond Time Travels Back In Time™ and let him meet Maria or you can make him be born in that time, whatever you see fit!

And Maria absolutely tops :>

Let’s go with Desmond being born there for this one.

Desmond would be the omega twin of the alpha Altaïr who remained in Paradise where it’s supposed to be safe.

In reality, he’s kept in Paradise to keep Altaïr in check. With Al Mualim being their guardian, there’s actually been talk of him becoming Abbas’ omega to ‘strengthen the bonds’ between Altaïr and Abbas, whatever the fuck that means.

Desmond knows that’s bullshit and Al Mualim keeps dangling him over to Abbas to keep Altaïr on the line and Abbas loyal to him because, for some reason, Abbas actually likes him.

Desmond usually spends his time trying to sneak out of Paradise to talk to Altaïr or to his brother’s beta best friend Kadar. (Or Kadar could also be an omega in Paradise that follows Desmond around because they’re BFF and he has a hhuuggeeee crush on Altaïr, depends if you wanna add a side serving of Altaïr x Kadar for this one XD)

Desmond spent most of his life sneaking in and out of Paradise, even donning the robes of an Assassin to blend in (he has to rub sooooo many scent covering herbs to make it harder for people to realize that he’s an omega) and Altaïr is a horrible enabler who teaches him whatever he learned, be it for stealth or for slitting a guy’s throat.

He would help Altaïr take out Al Mualim when Al Mualim tried to hypnotize him using the Apple (they both learned that Desmond is immune to the Apple that day) but he stayed behind when Altaïr went to Acre because…

Well…

No one expected Altaïr to go straight to Cyprus after that mission.

In this one, Altaïr returned with Maria immediately after Acre because, while Altaïr does want to join Maria on her journey eastward, he wants his twin to join them as well. Maria agreed to it after hearing how Desmond had never stepped outside of Masyaf at all and she honestly had this demure soft-spoken omega image of Desmond because Altaïr describes him as the kindest sweetest person in the entire world.

(If Malik ever heard Altaïr describe Desmond like that, he’d have reminded Altaïr that his supposed ‘kindest sweetest’ twin have made three Assassins beg for mercy when they were just a tad too touchy and Desmond was just a teenager back then)

And now we have the perfect slowburn ‘roadtrip’ idea for Desmond and Maria… with big brother Altaïr having to suffer through their blossoming love.

[herzlak]

Tatort Dortmund: Made in China

glaub ich hab noch nie eine dortmund folge so bald gerewatched, sonst wart ich immer ein halbes jahr, bis ich emotional bereit zu bin

"MEIN FREUND JAN"

"wie weihnachten im august" und die ARD so haha lasst mal den im august gedrehten tatort zu weihnachten senden

omg wie sie die hand auf den tisch legt. wie jan und ella im verhörraum.

average netto experience

würd gern wissen, wie lange nach cash die made in china eingeordnet haben

NEIN DU BIST NICHT SO ABGEBRÜHT FABER

und selbst wenn, dann sei nicht so kacke! jemand (rosa (und ich)) trauert hier um jan!!!

faber and his lack of entlassungsperspektive

ich hätt dieses fliederfarbene polo an jan geliebt, aber an haller hass ich es

"ein sehr gebildeter mann" eingebildet vor allem

was hat faber da eigentlich für n gross gerahmtes bild stehen

chat, do we think faber went to a psychiater for real or is he playing?

rosa schiebt auch wieder mies ptsd, sah wahrscheinlich nach liebe mich! genauso blutig aus in ihrer dusche

tatort der um 90° gedrehten tische

jan hat sich halt den verlauf der dinge leider wirklich ein bisschen selbst ausgesucht...

ich bin viel zu wenig klasnic hater, she's much too slay

DIE SZENE MIT DER HAND! WIE JAN IN GIER UND ANGST! I'M SO NORMAL ABOUT IT!

rosa was glaubst du eigentlich? dass hier gleich die selbstschussanlage losgeht?

"was is passiert?" "aaAAGHh" mood.

faber braucht keine fortbildung, er ist einfach gott

und ein philosoph

wahrscheinlich war er mal römer oder so

"deshalb hamse doch mich" <3

"ausrufezeichen"

ich LIEBS dass in dem tatort immer so hinterhergemault wird, eine figur geht ab und meckert trotzdem nochmal was hinterher

"multifunktional" sag doch einfach, dass du ihn fickst

"erster enkel kackt in die windel" faber please

"wir mochten uns. immer noch. sehr." "das müssense mir erklären" DAS IST LITERALLY WAS DU MIT JAN HATTEST, ROSA

die dortmunder haben recently auch so n ding mit fehlenden leichen, nh?

okay, also ist rosa in brackel aufgewachsen? hat aber davor nicht in der MK im dortmunder präsidium gearbeitet? und ihre mutter ist gebürtige münchnerin? wild.

"wollense vielleicht eine rauchen gehen? auch wenn Sie keine rauchen?" slay mausi

schön auch, dass rosa immer mehr den pott schnack annimmt :)

passt aber nicht dazu, dass sie anscheinend in dortmund aufgewachsen ist

SIE IST SO ZICKIG

wo ist meine softe rosamaus hin DIE HIER MACHT MIR ANGST

rosa hat auch einfach n persönliches problem mit u-haft (can't blame her tho)

LEG DIE TASSE WEG, BITCH

"JAN FEHLT" AAAAHH

hehehehe wie schön sie die tasse inszeniert haben

finds toll, dass sie endlich mal wieder essen, das passiert viel zu selten

liebs, dass faber unfähig ist seinen döner zu essen lol

"so ist das vorgesehen, so macht man das" schlechtester manipulations versuch ever

hach die klasnic ist schon so... slay...

rosa gibt die tasse jetzt auch deadass nicht mehr aus der hand

"das weiss sie halt" hach die references :)

nicht cool, dass sie so ein bönisch-likes outfit hat tho

"warten wir jetzt?" "auf keinen fall!" die zwei haben auch so viel kriminelle energie, liebs

wenn die mal alle aufhören zu zicken, wird das safe n badass team

that girl hat duolingo premium

es stresst mich unnormal, wie scheisse die ihren pool keschert

hehe rosa hat wieder so n gefühl <3

"Ihr gefühl in gottes ohr"

"ich glaub nicht an gott"

"hauptsache gott glaubt an uns" NIEMAND GLAUBT AN EUCH!!! GOD LEAST OF ALL

"eine chinesische ärztin, die sehr gut deutsch spricht" ok rosa, das ist bissl rassistisch jetzt

jan hätt sich gefreut über die zigaretten

rosa freut sich auch tho

rosa nein

rosa lass das

rosa aus! pfui!

HÖR AUF ZU RAUCHEN

die findets kacke, die muss husten, ABER DIE RAUCHT TROTZDEM WEITER

ihre jan-werdung (ich hasse es)

"von was?" "von das" haller auch nur unlikeable comedic relief

"von hinten, von vorne, von überall" wenn ich jetzt nicht wüsste, dass die übers erstechen reden nh...

rosa mit ihrer sonnenbrille <3

oooh das nervöse rumzucken mit dem fuss

"dass Sie sich ganz unmäßig aufregen und an ner herzattacke sterben" lol

die sind schon ein tolles team :)

ich wünscht, es hätt mehr solche szenen für jan und rosa gegeben tho

wieso ist der besprechungsraum jetzt eigentlich mit tagesrollen-cops vollgestopft?

frau klasnic, das ist massenmenschhaltung

so edgy wie rosa die kerzen ausdrückt und sich dabei die finger verbrennt <3

EXCUSE ME HAT DER DA KONDOME IN SEINER SCHREIBTISCHSCHUBLADE-

ich dacht ich brauch nen "arschloch" counter, aber ich brauch einen "es ging nicht besser" counter (wird sind bei 5)

rosamaus nicht weinennnn

die szene tut so weh :( faber too caught up in grieving is dad und rosa too caught up in grieving jan :((

kann mir niemand erzählen, dass sie da nicht an jan gedacht hat.

paralleluniversum, ok sind wir bei life is strange jetzt?

muss demnächst noch eine tiefere bedeutung in dieses sonne-mond gelaber reininterpretieren

die putzkolonne :))

was waren jan und faber gleich? aufzug mechaniker?

rosa sure uses her gun a lot in this tatort for someone who has supposed to have a gun trauma

"war das the walking dead?" chat, do we think rosa ist auch the last of us fan? hat sie mit jan gebingewatched, bevor er sich verpisst hat?

blutkonserven! we're waiting for a theo von greifenstein appearance!

endlich darf faber beim bettenmachen helfen, nachdem er in love is pain abgewiesen wurde

they were at the club

schön, dass sich die damen einfach dazu entschieden haben, queer auf dem tisch zu hocken und nicht mehr fertig zu ermitteln

rosa mit ihren familiengelaber lol she's so biased wegen jans gedöns

weisst das mich feddich macht? tatort dortmund, junge

stirbt er nächste folge oder erst übernächste folge, chat?

all in all mehr als solide, love it, 10/10, aber rosas freund jan fehlt

[mystwrites]

Soft Tickles

Summary: Kokushibo finds back tickles from Douma to be rather relaxing…until Douma’s fingers travel too close to his armpits

A/N: Day 14 of Tickletober! Thank you anon for a wonderful request! Enjoy some art too!! I just wanted a reason to draw Koku shirtless😅

It wasn’t unusual for Kokushibo to ask Douma for assistance from time to time but nothing compared to the shock he felt when Kokushibo asked if he could relax him. Maybe he was being asked because no one else was around. Or maybe it was the fact that some of the demons would take advantage of Upper Moon One in a vulnerable position. Either way, Douma couldn’t deny his reigning superior and agreed, asking what exactly Kokushibo wanted and much to his shock, back tickles arose pretty much instantly.

Douma became even more amused when Kokushibo untucked his kimono and took it off, neatly folding it and using it as a pillow. With Kokushibo resting his head against his hands, comfortably positioned on his stomach, Douma sat next to him and began, gently dragging his nails up and down Kokushibo’s spine.

Apparently, Kokushibo found Douma’s nails to be very relaxing. As a playful gesture, Douma had gently tickled his back and ran off before annoying Akaza. That split second made the samurai demon miss one thing from his human life, getting back tickles. He had small memories of experiencing back tickles as a child, the feeling of relaxation so foreign now that it’s been centuries. Douma had the best nails for it, seeing as he was one of the only male demons who kept his nails in pristine condition.

“You seem to enjoy this.” Douma prompted, breaking the comfortable silence, slowly drawing shapes on Kokushibo’s back.

“Mmm…yes, I enjoy a good back tickle. It’s been a while since I’ve had this treatment.” Kokushibo responded, sighing with content as Douma’s nails dragged all over his back.

“Well, I am glad to assist!” Douma giggled, drawing small circles around Kokushibo’s back. “It’s unusual for you to ask me to pamper you, Koku dono.”

“This stays between us.” he quickly said, lifting his head to give Douma a stern look. “Don’t go blabbing to anyone about how you get to tickle my back.”

“Alright!” Douma giggled, walking his fingers up and down Kokushibo’s spine. “I promise I won’t tell anyone. You’re secret safe with me.”

The gentlest of touches continued to feel rather pleasant until Douma started going a little too close to his sides, Kokushibo flinching every now and then as Douma’s long nails grazed against his hips or the upper part of his ribs for a few seconds. His reactions either didn’t register in Douma’s mind or he didn’t care but Kokushibo was now struggling to contain his giggles, Douma’s dancing fingers making sure to get every inch of his back, especially along his sides.

“PPPFFFTTT!!”

“Oh??” Douma gasped, hearing the sudden sputtering from Kokushibo. “Oh my goodness! What was that?”

“N-nothi…AAAAHH!!” Kokushibo gasped, his arms pressing tightly to his sides.

“What is happening??” Douma exclaimed, confused as to what was going on.

“Y-you’re too close to my armpits!!” Kokushibo squeaked, his arms clamped tightly to his sides.

“Ohhh…am I?” Douma asked, a hint of mischief laced in his voice. “I’m sorry…”

Ever so gently, Douma dragged his nails up Kokushibo’s sides, going at an excruciatingly slow pace. His fingers crawled like spiders, making sure each touch was deliberate. Squirming, Kokushibo inhaled loudly, determined not to laugh as the sensations traveled to his ribs, then crawled closer and closer to his armpits.

“Mm!! D-Douma! I asked you to relax m-me!!” Kokushibo grunted, a sputter escaping as Douma skittered down to his hips and climbed up his sides once more.

“I am! You seem to be enjoying this.” Douma argued, giggling as Kokushibo flinched as he slowly tickled up to his armpits once again. “Although I can really tickle you if that’s what you want.”

“Douma…” Kokushibo warned, his voice not holding any sort of threat. “Don’t you dare!”

There was a moment of nothing. No tickles and no words from Douma. Wondering why the back tickles stopped, Kokushibo opened his mouth to speak but was cut off when Douma suddenly skittered his fingers underneath his arms.

“Tickle, tickle, tickle!!” Douma sang, laughing as Kokushibo flailed for a bit, struggling to hold his laughter in.

Kokushibo finally broke, loudly sputtering for a few seconds, unable to keep his laughter contained. His arms pressed tightly against his sides, trapping Douma’s hands and only giving the ice demon the chance to really get into his armpits, moving his skilled fingers with reckless abandon.

Now laughing freely, Kokushibo squirmed a bit more, letting out a soft squeal as Douma continued tickling his armpits. Smirking, Douma decided to be a little mean and pressed into Kokushibo’s flesh, laughing as Kokushibo suddenly let out a yelp and flailed.

“D-Dohohouma!” Kokushibo giggled, kicking his feet out. “Behehe gehehentle!!”

“But I am!” Douma replied, pulling his hands away from Kokushibo’s armpits, tickling down his sides and focusing on his hips. “I’m not even squeezing!”

“B-but ihihit still tihihickles!!” he argued, laughing as Douma gave his hips a gentle squeeze. “AAACK!! D-Dohohon’t squeeheheheeze!!”

Knowing he shouldn’t be mean, Douma went back to gently tickling Kokushibo’s back, his nails scraping across every inch of skin he could find. Deciding to be mean once again, Douma crawled his fingers up and buried them underneath Kokushibo’s arms, laughing as the swordsman squirmed until he rolled onto his side, his adorably soft laughter pouring from his lips.

Seeing the opportunity, Douma lightly tickled Kokushibo’s stomach, the laughter growing as he flipped him onto his back. Grabbing Douma’s hands, Kokushibo giggled but allowed Douma to break free, his hands gently tickling along his waist, skittering up and all over his stomach before going to his armpits and neck.

“Okay!! Ahaha! Now you’re tahahaking ahah-advantage of me!!” Kokushibo accused, arching his back as Douma lightly poked at his hips.

“Shucks, guilty as charged!” Douma said, snapping his fingers before gently rubbing his thumbs in circles directly above Kokushibo’s hipbones, his known weak spot. “I can’t help it though, I love the sound of your laugh! You never laugh, Kokushibo dono!”

Grumbling for a few seconds, Kokushibo was about to get up and leave but Douma swiftly found that weak spot above Kokushibo’s hip bones, gently pressing his thumbs into the said spot. Unable to escape, Kokushibo lay back down, laughing deep from his belly, his knees being pulled up to his chest, one arm trying to prevent Douma from tickling his hips while the other was trying to push his hand away.

“Ihihi cahahan’t!! Ihihit tickles!!” Kokushibo squeaked, his feet frantically scrambling for purchase as Douma tickled him. “Ihihi ahah asked for a rehehelaxing bahahack tickle!!”

“Isn’t this more fun though?” Douma asked, grabbing Kokushibo’s foot and slowly stroking his index finger up and down the soles of his superior’s foot. “I can’t forget your feet, Kokushibo dono!”

“Nooo!! Not there, Douma!!” Kokushibo hiccuped, bursting into laughter as Douma gently started to tickle his left foot. “D-Dohohouma!! Ihihi’m going to get you for this!!”

“But isn’t this relaxing?” Douma laughed, playfully walking his fingers up and down Kokushibo’s socked foot. “Wow! I’m barely doing anything and you’re so giggly!!”

Douma’s nails gently scratched ever so lightly at Kokushibo’s foot, his toes curling as he tickled closer to the underside of his toes, his free foot kicking in the air. Unable to handle anymore tickles, Kokushibo sat up and grabbed Douma’s wrists, signaling it was now time to stop.

“O-okahahay!! Okay!! AAAHAHAHA!!” Kokushibo laughed, shoving Douma away the moment his nails scratched beneath his toes. “THAHAT’S EHEHENOUGH!! STOHOHOP TIHIHICKLING MY FEHEHEET!!”

Raising his hands up, Douma ceased his mischief but giggled as he took a look at Kokushibo’s face. Despite the tickling being so gentle and mild compared to what he normally does, Kokushibo’s cheeks were pink and his normally neat hair pulled into a high ponytail was a mess, his hair tie on the floor. Laughing, Douma playfully poked his superior’s cheeks, clearly amused at the sight in front of him but quickly stopped when Kokushibo gave him a menacing smirk.

“Goodbye, Kokushibo dono!!!” Douma squeaked, flailing his arms as a distraction before fleeing.

Kokushibo shook his head and chuckled, grabbing his kimono and put it on. Sure, he asked Douma to relax him but the ice demon took advantage of the situation. He should’ve expected this to happen. As he quickly fixed his hair, he smiled to himself. Douma wasn’t going to get away that easily.

[10thmusemoon]

"Pride and Pest-ilence"

X-Posted from twitter and ao3 Rating: M Fandom: SVSSS Ship: MoShang (M/M) Word Count: 5,736 Tags: Comedy, c!blocked by administrative duties, ADP vs the sect, the horrifying ordeal of having coworkers

Summary:

An infestation has come to Cang Qiong Mountain sect. Shang Qinghua is so exhausted trying to resolve it and keep his disciples from actively committing (justified!) murder, why did Mobei Jun choose now of all times to try and seduce him?!

-

Shang Qinghua is going to throw up. Mobei Jun is straddled above him, carefully peeling back his robes and running his hands over all his exposed skin. Groping shamelessly at the softness of his stomach, and chest leaving Shang Qinghua so hard that there is no way he doesn’t feel it. He definitely feels Mobei Jun pressing against his thigh. Just as Shang Qinghua is tensing up, anticipating the tongue descending down his chest, there’s a thumping at his door. Mobei Jun pauses for just a moment, long enough to meet his eyes in a question and receive a shake of a head for an answer. “Not unless the peaks are on fire.”

Undeterred, his king continues his descent and at the first touch of that cold tongue against his nipple he- -Is pushing Mobei Jun off the bed. The emergency alarm bell system he set up, the one only the sect leader or his head disciple can activate is going crazy.

They are only meant to activate it at the most crucial of emergencies, ones that need An Ding Peak’s immediate all hands on deck attention. In the 30 years he has been a peak lord, it has never gone off. Until now.

Shoving on his robes, he looks over at his king apologetically and places a finger to his lips. “My king this- this is an emergency! Just stay here for a moment, just a moment and I’ll find out what it is.”

Mobei Jun slumps back against the floor, the tent in his pants still obvious, and Shang Qinghua wants to cry at the sight of it. The promise land was so close!! Someone better be dying!!

Someone is not dying. It’s worse than that. Instead all of An Ding Peak is about to want to die and leave the sect in shambles and Shang Qinghua wouldn’t blame them.

It’s telling of the situation that beore he even has the chance to say anything, t his cute (terrifying) head disciple’s hand shoves through the crack in his door to yank at his sleeve. “Promise Shizun, promise me you won’t leave.” That’s not good!!! Not good at all!!

The last time she made him promise not to bail on the sect was when an enterprising pair of senior Zui Xian Peak disciples had exploded several barrels of wine, lit a store house, two dorms, and a whole orchard on fire. It had taken a full week to isolate the fires to a portion of the peak and another to  finally put them out. An Ding Peak disciples then spent three months of nonstop work reconstructing the lost buildings, helping salvage the orchard, and take inventory of what was lost.

An even then, Shang Qinghua's emergency wards had not been rung! So somehow... this is worse. Wu Zhao's fierce grip is threatening to tear his robes and he tries to pat at her hand comfortingly. Her expression only darkens. "This...master promises. What is it, what's happened?"

It's worse than anything Shang Qinghua could have imagined. After closing the door he's running back to his room to dig through his chest of items, there's- there has to be- "Qinghua." This will come in handy too and- "Qinghua!"

Spinning to face his bed, Shang Qinghua's anxiety momentarily shuts down and his brain shuts down. Mobei Jun is naked. On his bed. Shang Qinghua wants to cry. "My King, I...I cannot tell you how badly I want to stay, there is nothing more I want to do-"

Mobei Jun's expression is akin to that of a prize winning luxury cat coming across dollar store kibble. There is a stilted, and quite frankly offended, air to the way he pulls together his clothes. "Qinghua knows how to call this king." Aaaahh he's moping!!

Even the summoned portal feels a little dejected in it's wobbliness. -

An Ding Peak is at war. Shang Qinghua has worked day in and day out, his disciples are dropping one by one in exhaustion. Each is one poorly worded request away from murdering their off peak martial siblings. There's been an infestation.

Blinking Silver Crawlers have been brought to the sect. What was once a throwaway plot device to have Luo Binghe go on an Indiana Jones style quest to find an artifact in a lost library has become Cang Qiong Mountain Sect's nightmare. Specifically An Ding Peak's nightmare.

These insect on steroids eat all sorts of organic materials. Paper, wood, glue, cloth, you name it! And to make matters worst, they blink in and out of existence and reproduce at a rapid rate. Catching them is nearly impossible. They could be anywhere. The are everywhere.

The thing is, this shouldn't have happened. It shouldn’t have been possible. An Ding Peak has devised an extensive pest management system that has been integrated across all peaks and vendors. There isn't a single person that is exempt from participating in it, including the sect leader! There are pest logs, weekly sweeps, that are supposed to take place on each peak. There’s very detailed isolation procedures for new cargo brought up the mountains. There are specialized wards to deter insects that must be up kept!

Which means, someone hasn't been doing their due diligence to follow proper procedures and reporting practices. Shang Qinghua and his Hall Masters have resorted to confiscating the traditional An Ding Peak Welcome Knife that Wu Zhao gifts the new disciples after their first year. All it took was for a single incident of a disciple implying that It Wasn't That Serious for a sleep deprived group of An Ding disciples to go stab happy. Shang Qinghua doesn't blame them. Zhangmen-shixiong, however, does.

Zhangmen-shixiong can stick his morals where the sun doesn’t shine!!!! By the end of the first week since the infestation was reported, they've lost eight storehouses across five peaks!!! It has been, thankfully, mostly laundry houses, restock locations, and extra lumber. But there have been sightings near the libraries, which is a disaster waiting to happen. Cang Qiong Mountain sect is a purveyor of knowledge, all sorts of rare texts exist across all the highly specialized peaks. Everything from cultivation techniques to the last hundred years of farming history, to even the migration patterns of local fauna is stored in the libraries. And An Ding Peak is responsible for all of it.

In theory, each peak should be responsible for managing the upkeep and care of their own libraries. In reality, no one in this sect can be trusted to wipe their ass without an An Ding disciple telling them how and then doing it themselves when it isn't done correctly.

There is a reason why An Ding Peak’s head disciples have to be nominated by Hall Masters to even be considered for the position, and even then there is stress testing involved with in a rigorous apprenticeship regiment program. They have back ups. That's also why the An Ding Peak Lords are Like That.

It's a certain type of personality that can be the head of customer service, housekeeping, construction, negotiation, and IT all in one. Definitely no one sane and ethical can succeed in the position. It's one of the rare peaks where entitled nobles do not thrive, and are actually at a disadvantage. After so many years of this, it's not uncommon for the senior disciples to become cutthroat. Shang Qinghua sabotaged his way the top, and Wu Zhao has done the same.

That is the An Ding way. So, it is not an exaggeration to say that Shang Qinghua is acting in the capacity likened to that of a war general. Every morning he meets with his 12 Hall masters over giant map of all the peaks located in the An Ding meeting hall. They go over where the infestation has been spotted, what wards have been recently renewed, and what tactics have been tried (and failed) to quarantine locations.

There are daily report on the state of their disciples and the rising tensions among the other peaks based on who have clearly not been doing their part in the integrated pest management system.

Then, every evening, Shang Qinghua summarizes this knowledge to the other peak lords who have, quite frankly, an obscene range of understanding of the severity of the situation. Shang Qinghua wants to kill his martial siblings.

There is a meeting where Wei Qingwei, whose peak works mostly with inorganic materials, makes a joke about the pest logs and Liu Qingge comments implying that he didn't even know they existed. It makes Shang Qinghua sees red, leaves him wishing Luo Binghe had actually burned the sect down.

Before he has time to leap over the table and die at the end of Liu Qingge's sword, sweet beautiful Qi Qingqi is chastising them until they are shamefaced and silent. By the time he heads home at the end of each night, Shang Qinghua is nothing more than a pile of tension headaches stacked a top one another, and held together by a soggy noodle.

He is definitely, not in the mood to have rigorous demon sex with a Mobei Jun that keeps showing up in varying states of dress. Despite how he desperately wants to! Despite how Mobei Jun looks increasingly dejected and pathetic each time he turns him down!

Don't blame this servant, my king! Little Airplane cannot shoot towards the sky when existence is a prison and life is an insect fueled nightmare. No matter how nice your tits look in that sheer robe!

When Mobei Jun shows up with nipple piercings, intricate jewelry connecting the two heavenly peaks, Shang Qinghua turns around and leaves his house without a word. He's halfway to Qiong Ding Peak to resign when his head disciple catches him and drags him off to eat in the An Ding Peak communal cafeteria that has quickly turned into a 24 hour spot. It has developed all the liminal energy of a city diner that never closes. Surrounded by his crying, angry, disciples cursing the other peaks to the high heavens, Shang Qinghua feels truly seen.

By the fourth week, when cultivation manuals start to be devoured and the usual laundry services have come to a stall, the rest of the sect wakes up to the reality of the issue. An Ding Peak almost wishes they hadn't. Everyone has solutions. Everyone is so creative.

Some solutions are tame, if ineffective. Qian Cao disciples, sick of having their bandages devoured, start leaving out sticky traps in the hopes of deterring and capturing the insects. Which would be fine!!! If not for the Blinking part of Blinking Silver Crawlers.

The bastards get caught in the trap, blink out of existence next to it, then eat the glue trap. Mu Qingfang looks especially embarrassed at this development and all Shang Qinghua can do about is pat his favorite shidi on the back in sympathy.

And then there are the idiots. Zhangmen-shixiong, the coward, can't even tell Shang Qinghua himself when it happens. Instead, he sends his head disciple, the one he knows Shang Qinghua's head disciple has a soft spot for, with the message. In an attempt to make the environment inhospitable to the insects, Qiong Ding Peak disciples teamed up with both the beast peak and Zui Xian Peak to develop an alcohol based pesticide. It's highly flammable.

They lose food stores on two peaks to the flames, not the insects. When they dispatch An Ding disciples to, once again, control the fires, Shang Qinghua has to hold back his head disciple from going with them. To avoid a public execution, he steals her away to the noodle stall at the base of the mountain where they drown their sorrows in food and alcohol. Shang Qinghua is absolutely shit faced when Mobei Jun arrives that night. He isn't even trying to seduce him, this time. He's wearing his normal opened court robes when Shang Qinghua bursts into tears and buries his face in that beautiful chest. The cold does wonders for his headache and alcohol induced flush. Claws gently card through his hair as Mobei Jun holds him until he falls asleep.

A week later, Mobei Jun shows up with his chest heaving and flushed, clearly under the effects of an aphrodisiac of some sort. Shang Qinghua, having predicted this and prepared for this, grabs the all purpose healing spray he made and douses Mobei Jun until he portals away with all the dignity of a wet cat. Head pressed against his table, Shang Qinghua wonders at what his life has become.

The next day, after the morning meeting with his Hall Masters, Shang Qinghua receives news that Shen Qingqiu has returned to the peak and flies over to immediately. Cucumber bro has been gone for the majority of this nightmare and he needs his obsessive insights on these pests immediately. He's barely touched down on Qing Jing Peak when he sees the tell tale signs of disciples running around with their head's cut off. "Shishu! Shang-shishu! Wait!" "Is it a library?" They’ve started shutting some down on other peaks, if they have to do so for Qing Jing Peak then the shit really has hit the fan. "No but-" "Later then!"

He's barely touched down in front of the Bamboo House when a chill starts going down his spine. The screens are gone, eaten through by their tiny nightmares. The door frame is only barely there at all. "Uhhh, Cucumber -bro?" The door is partly open, unable to close due to the state of the wood, and there is the sound of movements coming from inside the house. Normally, all of this would be enough to warn Shang Qinghua away from entering. The last thing he needs is to be dragged into their deadly exhibition kink and yet- An ominous feeling has come over him. "Bro?" Cracking open the door further, his heart drops out of his chest.

The Bamboo House has been ransacked. Or better yet, invaded. The shelves that once held an assortment of scrolls are empty, the infrastructure of it barely standing. The low table they used to eat at is half gone, walls that once had beautiful tapestries draped elegantly across them are empty.

And in the middle of it all, is the remains of a cargo box.

Noticeably missing the bright green approval mark of An Ding Peak's containment and isolation procedures. Seconds after the shocking sight sets in, Shen Qingqiu rounds a corner and his frantic eyes tell Shang Qinghua everything he needs to know. "YOU!"

"Airplane- it's not- wait! WAIT!" Shang Qinghua excels at surviving, he has a healthy appreciation for not doing anything that puts him at risk. Especially when a certain protagonist is involved.

However. There comes a time in every man's life when he has to throw self-preservation to the wind and let instincts, an animalistic drive for vengeance, take over. This is that time for Shang Qinghua.

He has spent the better part of two months fighting for his life to keep the peaks standing. And he knows, he knows, how this is going to play out once everyone finds out. Yue Qingyuan, OG simp for Shen Qingqiu, will not even give him a slap on the wrist. (He thinks, bitterly, that Shen Jiu never would have let this happen.)

The only justice that will be served here will be at Shang Qinghua's hand. And so. Shang Qinghua tackles Shen Qingqiu.

For two immortal cultivators, their screeches are more suited to an elementary school's play ground. The stars have aligned for Shang Qinghua. He is not immediately murdered by the protagonist.

And so he bleeds every second of life dry to pull at Shen Qingqiu's hair and use that god forsaken fan to punctuate each of his words. "HOW! COULD! YOU!" It's not a question, not at all. "I didn't know!!! We had to leave so quickly!" "WE! HAVE! PROCEDURES!"

“Airplane! Stop! Stop- DID YOU JUST BITE ME?!” He did. He’s not proud of it. But also he kind of is.

The moment he feels the threatening aura of death enter the peak, Shang Qinghua calls on his escape vehicle. “My KING!” Mobei Jun, who has grown progressively desperate for Shang Qinghua’s attention, doesn’t hesitate to rip open a portal to him. Throwing Shen Qingqiu’s fan, and some strands of hair, back at him, he points two fingers to his own eyes and then back at the other transmigrator. “We’re not done here!” Then he steps through the chilling portal back to his room, where he proceeds to curse Shen Qingqiu to all heaven and hell. Mobei Jun, now used to these tirades, waits patiently on the bed for Shang Qinghua to run out of steam. When an appropriate stopping point presents itself, he shrugs off the top layer of his robe and opens holds out his open arms.

Like a moth to the flame, Shang Qinghua immediately changes course to end up in Mobei Jun’s arms. The Northern King forces him to lay down, holding him gently, though just tight enough to apply a comforting pressure. It’s not long before Shang Qinghua’s insults sputter out and he’s simply laying, face deep, against Mobei Jun’s sternum. Enjoying the moment, the demon rybs tiny circles into Shang Qinghua’s lower back until he relaxes further. “Junshang might kill me.”

That was nice while it lasted. Exhaling, Mobei Jun tries to keep the fear from his voice. “Why?“ “I bit Shen Qingqiu during our fight.” Ears twitching, Mobei Jun’s anxiety wars with his jealousy. “Did you break skin?”

Shang Qinghua lifts his head enough to rest his chin in the muscles of his chest instead of between them. The offended huffs of air give him an answer before Shang Qinghua can verbalize it. “I’m mad, not stupid.” Mobei Jun hums in the affirmative and they lay wrapped up in each other a little longer. When the emperor of the demon realm does Not come bursting through the door, he decides to push his luck and kiss and bite at the line of Shang Qinghua’s throat until he’s squirming with interest.

“My- My King!” Shang Qinghua’s heart is beating like a war drum through the artery in his neck, and together with his panting breaths, it’s the sweetest song Mobei Jun has ever heard.

Gaining in confidence at finally having a victory, he slowly worms a clawed hand between the yellow robes of An Ding Peak to massage and pinch at Shang Qinghua’s chest, relishing at how arches into the touch. That same hand starts untying his lover’s belt when Shang Qinghua completely stills.

“No, absolutely not.” Immediately, he retracts his hand and raise his gaze to Shang Qinghua’s panic stricken face. Afraid he’s done something wrong he also stills. “Shang Qinghua…” But Shang Qinghua’s gaze isn’t focused on Mobei Jun, instead it’s trained on the opposite wall.

“Not in my home!“

Shang Qinghua is going to Qi deviate. His leisure house has even more wards against pests than any of the libraries still standing. The only way this, this abomination he created, could have made its way in is if he brought it. From Shen Qingqiu’s infested home.

Scrambling, he tries to pull himself from Mobei Jun’s arms. He can’t- he can’t let this live!! There is too much at stake in his home for the sake of both the cultivation and demon realm. Strong arms only tighten further until he is flaying to get free.

“My King, let-LET GO!! I have- I have to Kill it!! Before it blinks away and it too late-“ It’s teleporting! Aahhh!!! In his struggle, he misses the way Mobei Jun’s pupils, which had been pleasant orbs of black only moments before, snap to the tiniest sliver of darkness. “Shang! Qinghua!”

A furious blast of cold air goes through the room, Shang Qinghua flinches and draws into his king’s chest for protection from the sting of it. A light tapping sound is heard and Shang Qinghua watches as a portal drops the lifeless bodies of four Blinking Silver Crawlers to the middle of his floor. “This is the plague you face?” The disdain, no the loathing, bleeds in Mobei Jun’s voice.

“The great Cang Qiong sect brought to their knees by Starlit Nuisances?” Shang Qinghua shakes from where his eyes remained glued to the immovable pile of insects. “What- no, no these are Blinking Silver Crawlers.” An offended sniff. “Qinghua doubts this King?”

“What! No, no my King of course not!” Rushing to placate Mobei Jun involves a lot of soft petting of his hair and face. “But, uh, what do you mean by… Starlit Nuisances?” “They’re children’s playthings.” They are, apparently, the Northern demon equivalent of rollie pollies.

Shang Qinghua has no choice but to lay there, mouth ajar, while his beautiful king explains that the menace of archivists in the south are nothing more than barometers for demon children’s qi.

His cousins from his mother’s tribe would predict where they would blink to next and open a portal to drop them at another location before they could do so. While the ice demons from his father’s side would create elaborate mazes to watch them escape out of. There is also, apparently, a specific temperature that will kill them instantly. Children would take turns freezing them at colder and colder temperatures until the loser would reach that temperature, finally killing the insect. Morbid but well…demons.

Mobei Jun, quite smugly, informed him that he had been the best at all these games, having always been in perfect control of his qi. Shang Qinghua indulgently nodded along and praised him despite remembering, vividly, the times he had frozen things unintentionally in their youth.

But also, hmm….. Slowly, a plan starts to formulate in his mind and the more he thinks on it, the more feasible it becomes. Shang Qinghua feels a satisfied smile stretch across his face.

Sliding his hands down that firm chest, pausing a moment for a nice long grope, Shang Qinghua pulls in closer as he dips his fingers beneath Mobei Jun’s belt. “My King,” he whispers, “tell me more about your qi control.”

Right before the peak lord meeting is set to start, Shang Qinghua gets one last kiss in and leaves behind a happily purring and disheveled Mobei Jun in his bed. Despite the obvious strain in his legs, there is a spring in his step and he feels the lightest he has in years. Not even Luo Binghe’s glowering face, just outside the door to the meeting, is enough to deter his mood. Well, mostly. “Shang-shishu.” !!!!!!! So he’s not dying anytime soon! Cucumber must feel really, really, guilty. Perfect!

Elated, he grins back at the demon emperor whose life he’s about to ruin and bounces his head in the imitation of a nod. “Luo-shizhi! So good to see you!” When he steps into the meeting, all his sect sibling look various degrees of exhausted. Shen Qingqiu, he notices, has already pulled out his fan to hide behind. A quick glance over at Yue Qingyuan’s smiling, and tired, face tells him everything he needs to know about whether the truth has been revealed. Perfect!!!

Discretely, he sends a hand signal to the An Ding disciples in charge of catering this meeting and waits for them to sign back the affirmative. The leading disciple approaches him with an aid of nervousness and says, loud enough for everyone to hear:

“This disciple regrets to inform Shizun that the kitchen in charge of the meal tonight was also infested and, well, there will be no food for this meeting.” The downcast look of embarrassment deserves a Golden Rooster!! He loves his little scammers!

Paying careful attention to the discontent grumble of his martial siblings, Shang Qinghua squeezes his disciple’s shoulder with one hand, and taps a practiced pattern against it with his fingers. His disciple nods silently.

“This shizun understands, there’s nothing to be done about it! It’s a good thing all peak lords practice inedia.” They do, but everyone prefers to eat when stressed! The deep sighs around him seem to agree.

“Take the rest of the evening off and go get some rest, if the work schedule is correct, I’m certain the disciples beneath you are all on their 15th hour of work cleaning this mess.”

They’re not, Shang Qinghua’s work schedule for disciples has become so elaborate to ensure they weren’t dropping from exhaustion anymore. But the guilty looks of the peak lords around him means they don’t know that.

Reaching into his bag, he pulls out a jade ring stamped with his seal. “Take this to head disciple Wu and inform her to start Emergency Gold Procedures for tomorrow morning. Any non-essential An Ding disciple is having a late start, we’ll follow up with the rest later after the morning meeting.”

The dramatic gasp his disciple lets out before running off is enough to draw everyone’s attention to him. He’s a little breathless when he says,“Yes Shizun, right away!” Whatever they think is happening is almost certainly wrong.

Emergency Gold Code, as An Ding disciples know, simply means “Shizun is about to spoil you lavishly so be good and be quiet.” It was only partially made up so Shang Qinghua could bribe his disciples into cooperating when in front of non An Ding ears. The other part was an excuse to embezzle-ahem- appropriately distribute sect funds to spoil himself and his disciples. Shang Qinghua may no longer be broke but he’ll never forget what it was like to be the little guy being pushed around! (Though in some ways he still is.)

Yue Qingyuan’s kindly, yet punchable, face is trained on him when he turns around. “Is everything alright, Shang-shidi?” Humming, Shang Qinghua goes to his seat and only winces slightly at having to kneel. Maybe they were too enthusiastic earlier.

“There’s been a development in the case.” The despair in the room is palpable, the last Development In The Case involved losing another two laundry storehouses and a year’s worth of supply of talisman paper. Sealant glue and corks devoured, they also lost a storehouse of wine.

“An Ding Peak has lost five storehouses, three of which provide food for the sect.” They haven’t. Airplane always thought it was a dumb oversight to have the supply guy and money guy be the same person. Yeah he wrote it in, and it’s served him and the OG nicely, but logistically, it makes no sense. “So we will continue rationing procedures until the sect’s quarantine is over.” Hesitant, Qi Qingqi asks, “Shang-shixiong, will the procedures….worsen?”

Looking around the room, he catches the grimaces of several peak lords who were not vigilant in following the pest management system. It is not a coincidence that their food rationing has been more on the bland side of things. Those that did exceptionally well maintaining their logs, and proved to be helpful, and decent to the An Ding disciples during this time, have ended up with what is considered a more normal delivery of food. On the down low, of course. Qi-shimei owes Liu Mingyan her fucking life.

With a genial smile, he says. “No shimei, things will continue as they have been.” Relief washes over her and she nods a thanks. Liu Qingge, who has been bound to the peak until the quarantine lifts, pipes up. “When can we leave?” Which is just what Shang Qinghua needed.

Bai Zhan Peak has been hit especially hard by the flavorless food rationing, a slowdown in repairs and laundry services, the peak quarantines, and the suddenly stab happy An Ding disciples. Wu Zhao has received no less than 6 marriage proposals. She only stabbed four of them too! From what his sources say, the Qiong Ding head disciple started sulking after the second proposal. Oh young love!

So when Shang Qinghua replies, “Soon, shidi.” He is amongst the most eager to sit up at attention. Ever their fearless leader, Yue Qingyuan is the one to ask, “Is An Ding Peak close to solving this matter?”

Shang Qinghua’s smile and tone stay warm, as if nothing can touch him in this moment.

“Yes, Zhangmen-shixiong,” here he pauses for dramatic effect, just long enough to let the peak lords work themselves up. “After finding out the infestation started with Shen-shixiong on Qing Jing Peak, we found the solution shortly after.”

The man in question fans himself faster, eyes darting from peak lord to peak lord, all of which have immediately gone silent. Even Yue Qingyuan’s face looks irritated and strained.

“This is a good reminder that the isolation and containment procedures for new cargo brought to the sect must always be followed. Especially before leaving the item unattended.” And there goes any plausible excuse. The room erupts into chaos.

Peak lords are sprinting over their tables to surround Shen Qingqiu, who keeps frantically looking over at Shang Qinghua and Yue Qingyuan. The sect leader, in all his exhausted glory, remains seated with his eyes close, alternating inhaling and exhaling deeply. He can’t subcome to the desperate silent pleas if he can’t see them! Shang Qinghua’s respect for him raises a few points from the depths of hell it had dropped to during this time.

As the shouts escalate, Shang Qinghua makes his way over to sit next to the first character he ever made for PIDW. The conscious effort he's making to not go defend his favored shidi reminds Shang Qinghua why he liked him so much.

"Zhangmen-shixiong." "Yes, shidi?" "I have some demands." Ah! A sigh so deep from the man who has the weight of hundreds of lives on his shoulders. Shang Qinghua has been fielding all the inner sect complaints but Qiong Ding Peak received all the ones coming from the outside. The quarantine of a great sect is no small deal, especially one as vast as Cang Qiong who's various specialties impact all manner of day to day lives. "Of course, please inform this shixiong how he can help."

He had drafted his list of demands between refractory periods, blissed out and dazed from Mobei Jun's attention, he had let nearly every thought make it onto the list. Even the petty ones. Especially the petty ones.

"The contractor that will be managing the removal of the infestation must be paid out of Shen Qingqiu's personal stipend." Given that he was rich from his husband's side as well, this wasn't the real punishment. "Of course, what else?"

"Shen-shixiong must remain on the peaks to oversee the reconstruction and supervise the contractors." At that, the sect leader finally opens his eyes. Thick brows climbing high on his face. "How long is that expected to take?"

Technically, Mobei Jun could probably take care of it in about 2-3 weeks time if he worked diligently. But the small army of demon children that they will be contracting out to will not have that attention span, and Shen Qingqiu will need time and patience to wrangle them. The rebuilding efforts will take some time too.

"Three to four months at minimum." Yue Qingyuan does nothing to hide the pleased little smile that brings him. A quarter of the year with the Qing Jing Peak lord in house, communicating constantly with Qiong Ding on the state of the recovery.

"This shidi will also be on vacation during that time." The smile drops. Shang Qinghua does everything possible to look into Yue Qingyuan's very soul and communicate how absolutely non-negotiable this is. "Y-yes, that can be arranged. Is there more?" There is.

The sounds of Cucumber trying, and failing, to defend himself in the background is such a sweet sound to hear during their negotiation. That Luo Binghe hasn't come in storming in to massacre them all is telling of the quality of the silencing talismans that An Ding has built around this room.

The other demands they agree on are as follow: 1) Qing Jing Peak’s non-essential requisitions will be de-prioritized for the duration of the recovery period.

2) Shen Qingqiu will also handle the paperwork involved with overseeing the recovery, as well as any other relevant issues that arise during Shang Qinghua’s absence.

3) An Ding Peak disciples will have mandatory rest days every week where no non-essential work will be conducted. Absolutely no off peak labor will be done during these days.

4) Shen Qingqiu will also oversee coordinating the transcription and reproduction of lost library materials, on all peaks.

The Qing Jing Peak lord will be kept so busy, as busy as Shang Qinghua has been, that he's almost certain Luo Binghe will be facing Mobei Jun's recent, sexiled, fate. And none of these issues can be fixed with heavenly demon blood or demonic qi!

Cucumber bro's dejected face as they leave the sect leader's office to finalized the agreement is delicious. Shang Qinghua is committing it to memory and determined to make it worse.

Shang Qinghua entwines his fingers together and brings his hands to oh so casually stretch above his head. "I'm so ready for this vacation!" The half assed grunt he receives is all the conversation he needs. “I'm even going to start this new novel I've been planning."

The crack in Shen Qingqiu’s neck is almost audible with how quickly he snaps to turn to face Shang Qinghua. "Yeah!? Ab-about what?" He hums, dithering a little to draw out the suspense. "An action story, fantasy, or I guess real world in this case?"

So that's what sparkling anime eyes look like on a human face! Cucumber bro's a little breathless when he says, "Do you need a beta reader?"

Putting a hand on his shoulder he says, "Thanks bro!" and when that excited little expression reaches it's peak he says, "But Liu Mingyan already agreed to.”

“What?”

“My King!" The black rift appears and out walks his king, rumpled robes and hickey on full display.God he loves him!

These next few months are going to be amazing and he's not going to be able to walk for most of them if he has anything to say about it. He only feels a little bad at the fate he's leaving his favorite daughter to experience. Luo Binghe is going to be so jealous at how much Cucumber bro is going to pester her. But well, that's not his problem, is it?

[incorrect-ikevamp-quotes]

Comte Election Story, 6th Anniversary Event (JPN 2023)

I managed to get Comte's collection story during the 6th year anniversary event in the JPN version of the game. As usual, my translation skills are rudimentary at best, so this is just a rough/general sense of the contents. Rest of the translation is below the cut:

Sweet and lovely, our everyday life is irreplaceable. After becoming a vampire, I’ve lived with him forever like this. I seek out more and more of the man I love than anyone else--

Comte: Good morning, MC. You’re up very early today.

I went down to the dining room a few hours before dawn--only to find Comte nursing a teacup gracefully at one end of the table.

MC: Good morning. I managed to wake up somehow…how about you?

Comte: Actually, I just got back.

When I asked, he told me that the host of the party started talking to him all night, and they didn’t part ways until after midnight.

Comte: I was going to finish this cup of tea to unwind, and then try to rest til noon.

He runs a hand through his freshly washed hair and brings the cup to his mouth in a series of elegant gestures that makes me fall in love with him all over again. I’m not sure if it’s because I’ve been up all night, but my heart readily starts beating faster.

Even Comte seems to notice my reaction…

Comte: …looking at me like that, are you seducing me?

Comte's eyes narrowed mischievously and he left his cup behind to approach me. A beautiful beast gazed at me as if to take aim at his prey, and he drew me in with supple hands.

MC: I didn’t intend it that way but…it’s true that I'm captivated. Your damp hair and lovely gestures are so sexy that I’m at a loss…

Comte: Saying such a thing…you’re a naughty woman, MC. Even though I tried to quell my ardor with a cold shower and hot tea...I’m glad to hear it, even though I’m far from calm.

When I raised my head--having looked down in bashful embarrassment--I can see burgeoning in Comte’s eyes an indisputable, feverish desire…

MC: Ah, mm…

His soft lips playfully brushed against the nape of my neck.

Comte: No one else would be awake at this hour…though we could be interrupted any moment. Make sure to keep your voice down.

He chuckled a little before a hot sigh caressed my skin, dropping kisses one after another. He circled around the usual place he’d sink his fangs into me, and every brush of his lips made heat gather low in my body…

MC: So impatient…Abel…

Comte: …I’ve been waiting for you to give it to me

The corners of his lips lifted a little, before he buried his fangs into my neck.

MC: Mn, ah…aaaahh…

Comte: I love you so much...and whenever we aren't together, I’m starved of you. We were miles apart all night yesterday. I’ll show you just how much I missed you.

His voice--half-intoxicated with the ecstasy of my blood--was sweet and husky with his desire.

Comte: Before you, I’m always a love-starved beast.

As I gaze into those eyes burning with emotion, an electric sensation tingles down my spine. 

(Ah, I’m just the same. It’s not only my heart, my body is always seeking you out too.)

MC: Me too…all day and night, I’m always thinking about you…

Comte: --Come here. Take as much of me as you want

At his encouragement and incitement, I sink my fangs into him.

MC: ah, ha…

Pleasure washes over me in an endless cascade, every sensation in my body heightened and sharp. I clenched my hands tighter through his wet hair, and dug my fangs into him greedily to devour that wellspring of ecstasy. 

Comte: I'm happy to be able to share love with you like this, as a vampire.

Like drops of water moistening desiccated earth, every crimson drop fills us to the brim--

[hobies-princealbert]

Hi I love your page sm and I wanted to share some fontaine hcs:

- taine gets really sweet when he’s drunk around you he just wants you to hold him fr

- when y’all are high together he gets really touchy too he’s feels like your skin is so soft and he can’t stop touching you 🥹

- he also gropes you when y’all are going to bed. like he CANNOT sleep if he’s not groping your chest or butt he basically makes biscuits like a cat

- he also might fuck your thighs if you’re too tired to take your pants off all the way

- imagine him just moaning in your ear all sweet and telling you how much he loves you, asking for kisses and eye contact in return

AAAAHH OMFG- ((o(^∇^)o))

I love these so muchhhhhh. I love how touchy!fontaine will always be a constant. the man is touched starved and we can tell. he really do be loving all up on his partner. he wants all the kisses and hugs in the world (lord knows he never got much of them b4 but now that you're here he's become an addict)

(I literally had a gif saved for a post bout how taine would be kneading his partners tits like he got 10 orders of biscuits to fill. So you basically read my mind💀💀)

[thesiblingsoftheblackandwhite]

A doll tumbles off a shelf as a song begins to play from nowhere. “ Disappointment takes us by surprise…Even though by now I think we should have realized, everyone is dumb.” The small toy, a strange combination of a pink princess animal and a pegasus, begins to walk on its plush legs towards the quintet of brothers. The la’s and dumbs play with each step.“There must be something in the corn flakes” As the song plays its eyes blink, and it reaches up into the air with its tiny fingerless hands. 

She grew, her fluffy plush arms lengthening. “Making it hard for us to think straight,” Hands came through the material and they transformed into sleeves. “Aaaahh” The colors go from soft pink to a sparkling silver with neon pink embroidery forming spirals along the sleeves, and soon a vibrant blue and highlighter yellow sets of thread join the pink. 

“I just wanna go from here!” Her eyes blink to the beat and transform with her face into human eyes that are a little too big, and a little too cartoonish to be normal. “Close my eyes and disappear”. They have heart pupils set against green eyes.

The legs flexed and narrowed and combined together into 2 stocky human legs, and bright red platform boots with green laces replaced her fabric hooves. They had some sort of magic shimmer to them as she tapped her feet to the song. “I just wanna be the comic relief,” She threw her arms in performed exasperation, mouthing along to the words and beginning to dance. “Making jokes, not taking any responsibilities!”

Her cute tail exploded into confetti which circled her body like a magical girl transformation. “It's waking up inside of the dream.” Once it rose to circle her head her new outfit was fully revealed, a glittery silver and rosy red party dress, completely with a ridiculously oversized bow on the back, more embroidered spirals trailing across her body, and lots of glitter.  Don't know what to believe-” She posed for the “woo!” And grinned. “Maybe that's why…”

“Disappointment takes us by surprise,” She met each of their eyes as she danced. “Even though by now I think we should have realized…”

Everyone is dumb- dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb…” 

The new being leaped into air, flipped twice, and landed inches from Blinky’s face, sending him sprawling backwards. The song faded into quiet background noise, but it wasn’t gone. Her hair was ginger and tied into cartoony heart shaped buns with purple ribbons. “I’m back! Your Mother says hello, and I say it’s been too long!” Her voice was clearly…Shadow’s??? She twirled around and revealed a childish plastic wand. “Abra Kadabra and Gobbledygook! I give you all a freebie off the book!” 

A flash of light shot out of the toy wand and their couch burst into a much larger and more comfortable pullout couch bed, complete with blankets. “You’re welcome! I can’t stay long but I wanted to give you something, since our connection to you has been interrupted so rudely by the asshole up there. Hopefully the rest of us can reunite! You can call me Shiney now.” 

The five stare at the figure, huddled together at some point during the transformation out of caution. Wiggog bares his teeth threateningly, wrapping Karaxis up protectively. He frantically tries to help Blinky up after he stumbles back with a confused expression. Pokotho and Nibblenephim have backed away together, clearly as frightened as the rest of their brothers. Nibbly audibly growls in an attempt to sound like an animal.

She poses as the song ends and says things. But they’re much too focused on the insanity that just happened to listen.

When the toy wand transforms the house’s old couch into a pullout, they marginally relax, but it’s not enough. The figure’s voice is oddly familiar, but they can’t think about that through their defensive positions.

Blinky shields his eyes, discomforted at the bright colors that contrast sharply against the dull reds and browns of the house. He squints, trying to piece together where this person came from. Tinky, for his part, is staring through his brother’s arms with a mixture of confusion, a twinge of fear, and awe. The bright colors attract him, but he can’t bring himself to move, either. She’s saying things about his father and…mother? He can’t really get it. She turned their couch into a bigger one, that looked a lot more comfortable, so he guessed she was nice…

Who the fuck are you?!?

[kyouka-supremacy]

do u have any sskk fic recs?? if u r comfortable w sharing ofc!!!

Please check out this post!! Those are all extremely good fics in my opinion :)

New additions to that I can think of (but am definitely missing some. I've been reading fics very sporadically the last months) are:

↳ requited and fermata and flamingoes by ayanuz (zigur)

I read a couple of fics from author (that became a couple of couples) and was absolutely blown away. I remember thinking, it's miraculous how in character they can write sskk before chapters 84-88 even came out- I definitely wouldn't have been able to in their place. Found them while looking for chuuaku fics and I'm so glad I did, amazing writing 1000/10 would die for it

↳ my body is a cage by getintrouble

Aaaahh the Akutagawa characterization. The Akutagawa that would do anything for Atsushi- he died for him, he died for him, he died for him. So beautiful, I love this fic

↳ I love you by averagecerealenjoyer

I'm sorry for keeping recommending microfics but this fic actually means everything to me, I've reread it a thousand times. It's so soft and spontaneous and everything sskk are tbh. Fics that make me feel like the world is okay actually

↳ my mouth desires to spill by lizandre

Read this a few weeks ago and it really stuck with me! It's very very cute until it takes an abrupt morbid twist which is... something. Like there's a few darker sskk fics, and my feelings for them are quite mixed. Thing is, what one usually expects from fics is romance, and there is romance, but when it comes to sskk there's also the ugly part to it you know? The part where they want to gash and eat each other- in the worst way possible. Which is fascinating to explore because that **is** sskk!! One could argue the entirety of Beast is dedicated to explore that gruesome side of their psyche; but it is still disturbing to read about it, it's meant to be disturbing. That's the appeal of the whole ship, its double, twisted nature! It's just an aspect not that many fics tackle, and when one does it often comes as unexpected. It leaves a different taste in your mouth ahah. I'm rambling, but I found this fic very insightful nonetheless!!!

Please refer to my bsd fics tag for more recommendations!

[blackhairedjjun]

I should be working on my own prince txt wip, but through the day I keep thinking about foec jjun and reader! So here's a soft thought, I hope you don't mind...

I keep thinking about this couple on Valentine's day, because I just know they'd have the sweetest surprises for each other. I think Yeonjun would have a plan for a while before the occasion. He heard of a flower field not too far away that is in full bloom for the season, and from that moment, he knew he had to take you. He would arrange to take you there on Valentine's day, excited every time he thought of the plan the whole month before and your face when you laid eyes on the place.

He'd be so giggly and just beam the whole morning, and you'd never seen him like this but you were loving it. He said he was taking you on a nice walk, but then ushered you into a carriage. Not telling where you were headed, he'd just smile a full beam grin and raise your joined hands to kiss your knuckles each time you asked. Soon before the carriage stopped, Yeonjun drew the curtains closed to prevent you from seeing out the window, causing you to grow more curious of your destination.

When Yeonjun stepped out and reached his hand to help you down, you felt excited butterflies, the ones that still came to visit even after you'd been married a while. With your hand clasped inside his, he lead you around the back of the carriage, off the dirt road and onto grass. The moment you emerged from the back of the vehicle, your eyes were hit by a sea of colour, stretching out as far as you could see. The field was a beautiful display, the sun shining just right over the flowers, the light breeze causing them to sway and dance, and it took your breath away.

You looked up to see your husband with an even wider smile than he'd had all day, you hadn't thought it possible. His eyes were dazzling with affection and admiration, only he wasn't looking at the beautiful scene of nature before him – he was admiring you. Your speechless reaction and wide eyes were exactly what he had pictured when he'd imagined bringing you here, even better seeing it in front of him. You looked at each other with so much love, as you did every other day, glad you could share in these small joys together for the rest of your lives.

(I'm not sure where foec is set or what season February would be for them, so I left the flower colour and type vague for you to imagine whatever you like :)) 💗

CEE OMG... THIS IS SO BEAUTIFUL HFKSHKDJJD im smiling like an idiot at lunch lmao 🥰🥰🥰 i absolutely agree that foec!jjun would be the type to dote on you and surprise you, he knows how hard you had to work as a gardener and now he wants to make sure you feel cared for and loved <3

also just IMAGINING the look in yeonjun's eyes when you see the flower field, eyes shining full of love... aaaahh butterflies 🥰

i was actually imagining the flower field from howl's moving castle when i read this:

tysm for the lovely ask cee <3 btw! the timing of this ask was perfect bc i was also thinking of sending you a prince txt-related ask, but i couldn't think of anything so i'll try to send you one later!