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crisisdparity · 4 years ago

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Game Master Akuma AU

(Note: Originally submitted to @justanotherpersonsuniverse, on their advice I will be using my own tumblr for anything in the future related to this AU.)

Xavier Duchamp was rather proud of himself. What he had before him was an absolute masterpiece of a campaign if he did say so himself. The product of over six months of study, research, and rebalancing efforts followed by two weeks of discussion with his five players to hash out schedules, meeting times, characters, backstories, potential character arcs, and getting them set up with a messaging app that was really good for sending discrete messages between the GM and the players.

Valentine and her boyfriend Justin were onboard in an instant. Within days, he'd greenlighted their Half-Elf Bard of the College of Glamour whose spell list was 100% Illusion spells and Half-Orc Fighter (Eldritch Knight) who was focusing entirely on Abjuration as Rena Rouge and Carapace respectively.

Olivia had spent a few days coming up with a Halfling Rogue and debating subclasses with him until settling on Scout. Along with some discussion over how her special magic item's stunning and paralysis effect would work with Sneak Attack, the campaign had its Vesperia.

Jeanette had gone back and forth with him for a week looking at various homebrew subclasses for her Gnome Artificer before they both agreed on one particular Master Tinkerer entry that would be balanced and do the character justice. And with that they had their Ladybug.

Even Matt was on board with a stealthy human Chat the Barbarian using the Path of the Beast. The class choice was something Matt had insisted on (and that Xavier would have suggested anyway just for the high hit point totals given Matt's history with characters dying) and he'd even come up with a backstory that Xavier felt was quite compelling compared to Matt's usual efforts. Morally ambiguous, likely to be tempted by promises of power, but with a great deal of story potential to work with.

Which was a relief. Getting a new player into their group to replace Matt was not something Xavier really felt comfortable with. There were too many unknowns with introducing a new person, far too many for him to risk his masterpiece on an unknown factor. He knew Matt. He could work with Matt. Despite the history.

He'd put everything he had into this. Every known Akuma ever fought by the heroes had been made into a boss-tier foe. He'd carefully documented each and every power the heroes had shown to craft special legendary magic items based on the Miraculous. Hawkmoth and Mayura themselves were going to be the final bosses of his campaign.

In response to criticism about the difficulty of his campaigns (he tried to make them fair, but still challenging enough to be memorable), he'd made several guest NPCs based on every other hero that had ever been called upon, statted out like player characters that might show up in a pinch to help. He even had a genuine Deus ex Machina that he was ready to use to get the players out of a truly impossible jam if they found themselves in one.

Not always, but a few times at least. Enough to get them to the point where they wouldn't need it anymore.

-----

It was thirty minutes in, right in the middle of exposition from the Guardian NPC, when Xavier got his first message on the app.

Matt/Chat - Chat's going to wait until everyone breaks up and follow Ladybug stealthily.

Xavier/GM - Starting party conflict on the first session? Not what I'd advise, but it's your character. Go ahead and make your Stealth roll now.

Matt/Chat - <photo> 17

Xavier/GM - Yeah, that beats everyone's passive Perception easily. You'll sneak off handily without anyone noticing.

-----

"Jeanette, Ladybug is grabbed from behind by an unknown assailant. Roll to resist the grapple."

"Geez, already? Okay, what did my assailant get for their grapple? How screwed am I?"

Xavier pretended to roll a die while consulting the message from Matt.

"19."

"Okay, difficult, but not undoable... Crap."

"What'd you get?"

"Nat 1..."

"Hah! I rip off her earrings and claim them for myself! The Wish is mine!"

"Seriously Matt?! What the hell?!"

"Because it's payback time! Payback for every character of mine killed in these hellish campaigns!"

"Oh, come on! You're not the only person whose had a character die at this table! Xavier runs some pretty challenging campaigns, but they're always fair!"

"What about the time he killed Allric the Allmighty in a single round of combat?"

"Dude, you tried to Leroy Jenkins straight into melee with a 4th-level Wizard that had a CON penalty. Even at full health you had like 10 hp."

"14!"

"Not much better, dude."

"Guys, it's fine. I can handle this. Okay, Matt. Chat the Barbarian managed to get the earrings-"

"Yeah, Ladybug screams bloody murder when he rips them out. Good luck getting out of this in one piece."

"The moment Rena hears Ladybug scream, she bolts for the sound."

"So does Carapace."

"Vesperia too."

"-and with their current locations and movement speeds, I assume you're all using the Dash action?, you've got maybe one round to decide on your Wish before they're all over you, so choose carefully. And be aware that I plan to grant whatever you wish for in the worst possible way, just as I would if any of the others pulled this."

"Rena screams 'What the HELL, Chat?! We're supposed to protect the Miraculous, not use them for our own selfish purposes! Didn't you listen to the Guardian? Such actions always bring misfortune upon those who misuse the Miraculous!'"

"Because I am Chat, avatar of Destruction and I WISH THIS WORLD NEVER EXISTED!"

There was dead silence at the table.

"Matt... What... just... WHAT?!"

"Hah! You like that?! How does it feel now that the shoe's on the other foot, huh?!"

"What the hell is your problem, Matt?!"

"My problem? MY problem?! Do you know how much time I've spent making characters for these shitty campaigns only to have them turned into paste in one session?!"

"Because you made primary spellcasters and played every last one of them like a barbarian, charging in headfirst without thinking! All of us breathed a sigh of relief when you revealed that your character finally matched your playstyle!"

"I HATE BARBARIANS! THEY'RE BORING! I SHOULD GET TO PLAY CHARACTERS THAT CAN AT LEAST CHUCK FIREBALLS!"

"THEN MAYBE YOU SHOULD STOP RUNNING THEM FACE FIRST INTO ENEMY SWORDS!"

"NONE OF YOU COULD EVER HANDLE THE FACT THE I MAKE MORE AWESOME CHARACTERS THAN ANY OF YOU, SO YOU JUST LET THIS DOUCHEBAG KILL THEM OFF SO YOU WOULDN'T GET OVERSHADOWED BY HOW AMAZING I AM! WELL NOW I KILLED SOMETHING YOU ALL WORKED HARD ON, SO SUCK IT! I'M DONE WITH ALL OF YOU FOREVER!"

"MATT! HEY! GET BACK HERE YOU JERK! MATT!"

"Crap, I think Olivia might actually kill him this time..."

"It's going to take all of us to stop her from getting arrested at least."

Xavier just watched numbly as the rest of the group ran out of his apartment. Over six months of work. Gone in less than an hour.

He'd given so much to making sure this would work. He'd apologized to Matt at least twice for every character of his that had died to get him to come back. He'd agreed to demand after demand just to keep a familiar face on board, never dreaming he'd pull something like this.

He'd nearly gotten fired from his job trying to rearrange his schedule to fit with everyone else's. They'd somehow, miraculously, gotten the whole day with no other obligations among any of them and decided to make the first session a true marathon. They'd meet in the morning after breakfast and eat both lunch and dinner at the game table before calling it a night late in the evening.

It was barely 10:00 in the morning and the whole campaign he'd slaved over for months was kaput.

He never noticed the butterfly landing on his custom Miraculous-themed Game Master screen and being absorbed into it.

"Game Master, I am Hawkmoth. Few people appreciate the kind of effort that goes into making something truly grand and memorable. I shall give you the power to bring your entire world to life and in return, I ask only for a few simple things."

This was wrong. Hawkmoth was the worst of the worst. The kind of person who would be at home among all the final bosses he'd ever made for his campaigns. Heartless, manipulative, cruel.

"Not enough? Ah, but what is a game without players? How would you like to have the Miraculous heroes themselves run your great campaign? Surely they would be far more appreciative than those ungrateful peons that left you alone with nothing but the broken remains of your efforts."

He knew all these things, but the allure of bringing the world he'd spent so much time on to life... What creator could ever turn down an offer like that?

"I, the Game Master, accept... Hawkmoth."

"Excellent. And in exchange, you shall bring me one of two things: The Miraculous, or the identities of their wielders."

"No."

Hawkmoth was silent for a moment.

"I beg your pardon?"

"I said no. I am the Game Master. I make the world. I craft the challenges. I decide the rewards. But I do not do anything for anyone. If you want these things, get them yourself."

"If you refuse me, it shall be very unpleasant for you."

"No. As Game Master, I decide the limits of all powers within my realm. And I decide that you have none over me."

And with that, he unleashed his creation over all of Paris, drawing everyone and everything within into his sphere of influence.

-----

Ladybug blinked the spots (ha) out of her eyes as the flash of light died down and looked at herself. She didn't remember transforming, but she was clearly in her spots. Except her red and black superhero uniform didn't usually look like it was headed to a steampunk convention. Looking around, she tried to figure out what had happened and her eyes landed on a familiar belt and pants combo.

Problem. Whoever this was, their groin was at eye level for her.

She looked up.

And up.

To find a grinning Chat Noir, sans anything resembling a shirt and having put on at least a foot of height and apparently a hundred pounds of pure muscle, grinning down at her.

"How's the weather down there?" Chat Noir chuckled as he flexed his unfairly attractive muscleman physique.

"I WILL END YOU!" the heroine snarled, already 100% done with whatever new insanity Hawkmoth had cooked up.

Characters:

Ladybug - Gnome Artificer (Master Tinkerer - Homebrew)

Chat Noir - Human Barbarian (Path of the Beast)

-----

Vesperia had to admit, as Akuma attacks went, this was pretty dope.

She was currently a halfling. A halfling! If it wasn't for her fantasy ensemble being yellow and black, she'd have thought she stepped straight out of Lord of the Rings.

Of course, fantasy setting or not, there were still things she'd have rather left back in the real world. Like racism. And stigma against mixed couples. Not directed at her, but rather at the two walking down the street next to her.

"You know, people are staring..." she said as she craned her head to look at her companions.

"Let them," the Half-Elf Rena Rouge (who looked like a cross between a musician and a belly dancer) said from her perch atop the shoulders of the heavily armored (and surprisingly buff) Half-Orc Carapace. "They're just jealous because their boyfriends can't carry them everywhere."

Characters:

Vesperia - Halfling Rogue (Scout)

Rena Rouge - Half-Elf Bard (College of Glamour)

Carapace - Half-Orc Fighter (Eldritch Knight)

-----

Ryuko blinked as she studied the apparent snake-man-thing before her who claimed to be Viperion. She lifted a hand to study it and found what appeared to be bronze scales covering every inch of her skin.

She sniffed herself, smelling the sharp tang of ozone. What was she?

And why did she appear to be wearing wooden armor?

Characters:

Ryuko - Dragonborn (bronze) Druid (Circle of Storms - Third Party)

Viperion - Naga Sorcerer (Divination Magic - Homebrew)

-----

Polymouse giggled as her friends ran over her. Okay, she'd freaked out a little to find a swarm of mice (with hair like hers no less) crawling all over her surprisingly mouse-like body when she'd come to in the middle of some forest somewhere. But she'd gotten over it pretty quickly. It helped that her new friends were adorable.

It might help more if she could figure out where she was.

Or find another person.

Characters:

Polymouse - Kobold (rodentlike) Ranger (Swarmkeeper - Reskinned)

-----

Purple Tigress sighed as she felt the hair (fur?) on the top of her head being shifted around and twitched her new catlike ears in mild annoyance.

"Are you quite done?"

"Almost!" Pigella's cheerful voice answered. "Your fur is so comfy!"

Tigress sighed. Of course Pigella would end up being a fairy, and having her normal cheerful enthusiasm cranked up to previously unimagined levels.

"I love you dearly, but if you start shouting 'hey listen' I will stick you in a bottle."

"Aw, I love you too! Hey, what's that?"

"I think it's my character sheet?"

Characters:

Purple Tigress - Tabaxi Paladin (Oath of Glory)

Pigella - Fairy Cleric (Order Domain - Reskinned)

-----

"According to my analysis, we have been placed into what appears to be a Dungeons and Dragons campaign under 5th edition rules," Pegasus stated in a mechanical monotone. "I am apparently a Warforged Wizard using the School of Conjuration whose spells create portals to bridge dimensions and summon or banish my intended targets. You are what is known as a Simic Hybrid, with the class of Monk, following the Way of the Drunken Master."

"Aweshum," King Monkey slurred, his generally human appearance clad in monk's robes marred by his monkey-like hands and feet as well as the monkey tail swishing behind him.

"Why do you keep slurring like that? According to my sensors, your gourd is filled with only water."

"Gotta keep up appearanshes!" King Monkey grinned as he continued faking drunkenness.

Characters:

Pegasus - Warforged Wizard (School of Conjuration - Reskinned)

King Monkey - Simic Hybrid Monk (Way of the Drunken Master)

-----

Hawkmoth studied the dark red horns growing out of his head in the mirror. The change in appearance was disconcerting, but he felt a rush of power in this new form that he'd never felt before.

"Hmm... perhaps I can work with this..."

"Speak for yourself..." Mayura muttered off to the side, ruffling her peacock-like feathers in annoyance as she tried to glare at the beak on her own face.

Characters:

Hawkmoth - Tiefling Dark Lord, Warlock Patron, Contracted by Lila Rossi, Volpina, Queen Wasp, and many others.

Mayura - Kenku Assistant to the Dark Lord, Creator of Monsters

-----

"Oh, come on!" A figure in a cyan and white hooded robe complained as they waved a similarly colored umbrella around angrily. "Everyone else gets to be part of this adventure, why can't I join them?"

"Because you're too OP. You'd completely break everything and remove all challenge from the adventure."

"But sitting around is no fun at all!"

"If you like, I can put you in the position of the main quest giver. Your job would be to direct them towards their enemies and means of becoming stronger."

"That's it?! I'm on 'mysterious hooded figure' duty? Boo! Why can't I fight with them?!"

"Because you're too OP. But if you insist, I'll allow some Deus ex Machina interventions."

"YES!"

"Five."

"I'm sorry?"

"I'll allow five interventions at your discretion to aid them when they are in peril. Once you have come to their aid five times, I will allow no more meetings save to impart quest information."

"That's it?"

"Yes. Choose your interventions wisely."

"So... if I manage to save one for when they fight Hawmoth and Mayura in the final battle...?"

"Then I would allow you to join them of course."

"Score!"

Characters:

Bunnyx: Mysterious Hooded Figure, Deus-ex-Machina (5)

Game Master: Akuma Lord of the Miraculous Campaign

-----

Addendum

When the Game Master is finally purified and the damage reversed, it turns out that he took the effort to trap all of Paris in a temporal stasis bubble so that no matter how long passed inside no more than a few moments passed outside. Meaning that after what seemed like months in the bubble, it's basically less than a minute after he was akumatized when everything is put back.

All his friends, minus Matt, come back in bringing a new person named Zack that they vetted themselves to take Matt's place in case he pulled something like what he did. And while he has a similar playstyle to Matt, he's savvy enough to know what kind of characters that is suited for and he loves playing barbarians.

They all sit back down and restart the game they were all looking forward to.

#game master akuma au #miraculous ladybug #fanfic #writings

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breadknight-likes-things · 4 years ago

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Bread’s Game Journal 11/10/20: PS4? More Like PS-Bore? No, The PS4 Actually Is Good As Hell.

The PS4, the soon to be old generation of Playstation consoles, was one hell of a great system. It took a little while to get going, and it’s launch lineup wasn’t exactly a strong start, but when you look at the sheer amount of incredible games that came out over the last seven years, you wonder how we ever came across the absurd amount of riches that were the PS4.

Just real quick, let’s list off some of the incredible games that came out on the PS4 shall we? The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt, DOOM 2016, Bloodborne, Metal Gear Solid V: The Phantom Pain, The Last of Us Part 2, Red Dead Redemption 2, and so many more that I could genuinely just spend this entire post listing them off. The point is, the amount of genuine masterpiece video games that released on this thing is nothing short of astounding.

Special mention, I think, should be made of Uncharted 4 (and by extension it’s expansion pack/follow up Uncharted The Lost Legacy), which is one of my favorite PS4 games in general, and maybe my top game of the generation, but that would be a whole other very long article!

However, before the PS4 really kicked off into its golden age, it had a rougher beginning than i think a lot of people tend to remember. Coming out of E3 2013, the playing field for the new consoles was set, and Sony was significantly ahead. Microsoft had badly bungled the messaging behind the Xbox One, and many people still believed that the system level aggressive DRM present on the console in the initial reveal, was still a part of that console experience. It wasn’t, but crucially, the Xbox One was still perceived by people to be a far weaker console on top of costing $100 more.

Enter Sony, with a PR focus on letting people know that their console was meant to do exactly one thing: play video games. Even with said focus however, when you look back at the launch lineup of the PS4, you don’t exactly see a very pretty picture. Yes, you had your smattering of third party support, but the exclusives present for that first day were....Knack and Killzone Shadowfall. To be fair to Knack, that game is actually decently entertaining, and it’s status as a meme is largely just the internet being weird, but Killzone was bad game, and unless you were eager to run out and buy a marginally better looking (but, and believe me here, no better running) version of Assassin’s Creed 4 or Lego Marvel Super Heroes, you really didn’t have much to play.

In the end however, I wound up with 88 (Physical) PS4 games before the end of the generation, easily a personal record.

In fact, this drought of good to great games, things that you bought the console for, would continue well into 2014, so what happened to turn it around? 2015 happened. Bloodborne, The Witcher 3 Wild Hunt, Batman Arkham Knight, Metal Gear Solid V, Fallout 4, the list goes on. Game after game hit the PS4 in 2015, and we finally got to widely see why this new console mattered, why it was different! After that, the quality really didn’t stop or slow up for a very long time! We just kept having jam packed fall seasons of games that provided us all with extremely great experiences! While we didn’t quite see as many new IP’s, we saw a lot of the existing ones go through radical reinventions, or roar back to life in ways that we didn’t expect, and the result was almost always surprising in a positive way!

The PS4 didn’t really rock the boat in terms of features, I think the wide aversion to the attempted gimmicks of the PS3 scared Sony away from those, but it did exactly what any great video game console should do first and foremost. Give us a great place to play video games! If the PS5 achieves nothing else, I only hope that it continues on the PS4′s streak of consistent quality, because with that alone, I think we’ll all be primed to have a good time.

#video games #ps4 #xbox one #bread's game journal #game journal #breads game journal #sony playstation #ps4 exclusive #ps4 games #ps4 pro #gaming #sony #playstation #playstation games #ps5 #ps5 launch #playstation retrospective

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imperfekti · 6 years ago

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Tenipuri Party: Fuji Shuusuke profile translation

TN:

In the absence of an official English version, this translation is intended to help those who can’t read the material in the original language. Please support Tenipuri by getting your own copy of this book - it is worth it! There are various ways of purchasing it even for those not living in or visiting Japan.

The pictures I have included in this post do not show full pages.

On the translation: I’m aiming for a more direct, “Japanese-sounding” translation to share the mood of the content more as it is. This will probably cause some sentences to appear weird in English.

On Fuji’s style of speech: he uses a lot of little additions that soften the tone, and most of them are pretty hard to include in English. In general his style of speech is a balance of casual but polite.

I’m still working on Japanese, so there might be mistakes. Please let me know if you spot any translation errors so I can fix them here!

Fuji Shuusuke

U-17 Japan representative player, middle schooler Seishun Gakuen Middle-school player

Towards the distant sky, reflected in the mind’s eye -- A noble youth, soaring like a refreshing breeze

Message

“This kind of wonderful placement… it’s rare to get to taste it. Everyone, thank you so much. I’ll have to meet those expectations. (*1) Following the guidepost that I have made myself… I swear I’ll advance to greater heights. I’ll definitely show a new scenery to you too.”

Extra prize: a surprise box decorated with memorable photos “There are even balloons attached to it. An exciting, heart-warming gift. The music box’s tune was to my liking, too.”

Profile

[DATA] Middle-school 3rd year / February 29 (Pisces) / Blood type B / 167 cm / 53 kg / Right-handed

Special techniques: Tsubame gaeshi, Higuma otoshi, Hakugei, Kagerou tsutsumi, Houou gaeshi, Kirin otoshi, Hakuryuu, Hecatoncheires no monban, Hoshi hanabi, Closed eye (*2), Aoi fubuki, Hikari kaze

Play style: Counter puncher

Family: Father, mother, older sister, younger brother

Father’s occupation: company employee (foreign company)

Hobbies: Collecting cacti, photography

Favourite saying: What is important is invisible to the eye

Favourite color: Beige

Favourite foods: All spicy foods, 100% apple juice

Favourite book: Travel journals, travel photo books

Favourite music: Celtic music

Preferred type of person: A person who smells like flowers

Preferred date spot: An observatory where you can see stars clearly

Most wanted thing right now: Stimulus (*3)

Weakness: Sour things

Elementary school: Seishun Dai Daisan Elementary School

Committee: Graduation album committee

Strong subjects: Classics

Weak subjects: Science

Often-visited place in school: Photography room

Uses allowance on: Taking care of cacti

Skills beyond tennis: Winter sports, recognising constellations

His routines during tournaments: Drinking coffee from all over the world, contacting his brother

Favourite anniversary: Birthday of the person he likes

Preferred travel destination: Salar de Uyuni on a night with shooting stars

Present for a special person: A ring made of flowers

Scenes

For Fuji-senshu, who had specialised in counter tennis, a certain incident at the U-17 camp became an impetus for an awakening. (*4) Making the Critical wind ‘Aoi fubuki’ his new weapon, he changed his style greatly into offensive tennis.

(Quotes on pictures:) “Tensai Fuji Shuusuke.” “Now, shall we go one more time…” “Was there this kind of an tensai sleeping in Seigaku?” “This team reaching the nationals championship, that’s my wish!” “Game and set… won by Fuji Shuusuke…” “Critical wind ‘Aoi fubuki’” “One of the Critical winds, ‘Hikari kaze’” “I’ve already stopped playing just defensive tennis.”

Sparked by a certain oath, I began to aim for my own guidepost

Currently, both among fans and people involved, Fuji-senshu’s change to offensive tennis has become a topic of discussion. Was there some impetus for this?

An impetus? Well… I exchanged private oaths with a certain person - is all I think I’ll say here. Fufu.

An oath...? Please give us at least a hint!

Well, just a little, then… Before, I used to draw out the opponent’s strongest skills, felt the thrill of defeating them with a counter, and enjoyed myself like that. But in the end, that depended on the opponent. The guideposts you need to traverse on mountains, you have to find by yourself - that is what I understood.

About Fuji-senshu’s new technique, “Hikari kaze”. How are you able to react like that?

By ascertaining the opponent’s muscle movements and breathing, the moment that information is intracerebrally linked as an image, it’s as if time stops and all noises and the scenery of your surroundings disappear - only the trajectory of the shot the opponent has hit emerges as an signpost of light. So, from now on too, I will follow the guidepost I’ve found by myself, and am aiming to go beyond my limits.

Then, to finish, your objective from here on out is… eh, you already talked about that just now, didn't you?

Yes. I determined the next question before it was asked, and responded to it.

As expected of the prodigy Fuji. You got me there.

Message for Fuji Shuusuke

I thought you seem like you’d be popular with the girls. Alles gute! (Bismarck)

Congratulatiooons! By the way, show me your homework for the report next week ☆ (Kikumaru)

I made a lot of wasabi sushi as congratulations, so please eat them. (Kawamura)

I need to update my data. Congratulations. (Inui)

As expected, Fuji. Next time, let’s play until we are satisfied. (Tezuka)

It’s not something anyone can do. My respects. (Kaidou)

Congratulations Fuji-senpai! I won’t lose next time! (Momoshiro)

Not bad. But, please be prepared that I’ll snatch that from you one of these days. (Echizen)

Hooray! Should we take a memorial photo with everyone! (Ooishi)

I’m amazed. I feel like I’ve caught a glimpse of your hidden inner strength. (Duke)

Congratulations, you are the pride of Japan. (Noa)

Party talk

Q: What was your family’s reaction to the placement this time? A: I think my sister said ‘as expected of my little brother’. Yuuta… He was here, so I’ll ask right now. Hey, Yuuta --!

Q: Th-that bright red food…? A: I wanted to taste even more wonderful, stimulating foods. What about you?

Q: The singing performance just now was lovely! A: Being the first to go on the stage… it was thrilling and fun. (*5)

Q: Who have you talked with, and what was the topic? A: Member of staff, Oliver-san taught me about places near the tournament venue where you can see the starry sky well.

Q: During the sideshow, you took a picture of the audience, didn’t you. A: Because it’s rare to see Tezuka making that kind of an expression.

Q: Is there anything that has piqued your interest in the venue? A: That flower stand with cacti, I wonder which country it’s from… Tube?

History

Age 0 February 29 Birth

Age 4 After napping with Yuuta, is frightened by Yuuta who saw a bad dream and tears up

Age 8 Goes out sea bathing with Yuuta and Saeki

Age 9 Gets a camera from grandfather, starts taking pictures Is deeply impressed by the form of a swallow (tsubame) found in an aquarium

Age 12 March Graduates from Seishun Dai Daisan Elementary School

April Enters Seishun Gakuen Middle School Division Plays against Tezuka, is not satisfied

August Goes to Kawamura's house for the first time, wasabi sushi is made for him

December After Yuuta ran away from home, searches for him all through the night in the snow

Age 13 March The extremely spicy food he makes at gratitude-party is unpopular

April Proceeds to second year in middle school

June During the athletic festival cavalry battle, has a showdown against Tezuka (unsettled)

July Is scouted at his older sister's commemorative publication autograph signing party

February Succeeds(?) in a triple spin jump at the neighbourhood skating rink

Age 14 April Proceeds to third year in middle school Kikumaru, now in the same class, comes over to play for one consecutive week

May Start of the Tokyo Prefectural District Preliminaries Plays against Gyokurin in the quarterfinals, wins against Nakano in S1 Advances to the Semi-Finals November Plays against Mizunofuchi in the semifinals, wins against Egawa, Yamanishi pair in D2 Plays against Fudomine in the finals, defeated by Ishida-Sakurai pair in D2 by forfeit Wins the Tokyo Prefectural District Preliminaries championship, has a celebration at "Kawamura Sushi"

June Start of the Tokyo Prefectural Tournament Plays against Kamata in the Third Round, wins against Ishizaki in S3 Plays against Akiyama Third in the Fourth Round, wins against Morishima-Nishikawa pair in D2 Plays against St. Rudolph in the quarterfinals, wins against Mizuki in S2 Plays games with Yuuta who came to stay at home, loses Plays against Yamabuki in the Finals, defeated by Nitobe-Kita pair in D2 Wins the Tokyo Prefectural Tournament championship

July Start of the Kantou Tournament Plays against Hyoutei in the first round, wins against Akutagawa in S2 Bowling tournament with the Regulars Plays against Rokkaku in the semifinals, wins against Saeki-Itsuki pair in D1

July 27 Plays against Rikkai in the finals, wins against Kirihara in S2 Wins the Kantou Tournament championship Beach volleyball tournament during the joint training camp with Rokkaku

August 11 During a practice match with Tachibana, his Triple Counters are broken

August 17 Start of the National Tournament Plays against Higa in the second round, wins against Hirakoba-Chinen pair in D2

August 19 Plays against Shitenhouji in the semifinals, defeated by Shiraishi in S3 Participates in the yakiniku battle, drinks Aozu and drops out

August 23 Plays against Rikkai in the finals, wins against Niou in S2 Wins the National Tournament championship Is inspired when visiting a hollyhock gallery with Kawamura

October Is invited to an amusement park by a student whom he saved from groping, but declines

November Participates in the U-17 training camp Wins against Yuuta in the “friendly fire” matches The restaurant’s tabasco runs out, a restriction for use is put in place Plays against Tezuka who is leaving Japan, swears three things

December On the overseas training camp right before the U-17 world cup, faints from eating Akuto meshi at the pick-up tournament In Australia, enjoys coffees from all countries with Jackal U-17 pre-world cup begins Plays against Germany in the first match, wins against Bismarck-Siegfried pair U-17 world cup begins Plays against Australia on the second round of the qualifying league, wins against Mac-Milky pair in D1 Japan is qualified to play in the championship tournament

What I most want to photograph now is Australia’s starry night sky

During the camp and on off days, what do you do for a change of pace?

I guess the main one would be taking pictures. Especially on an overseas trip like this, taking a lot of pictures of sights I don’t usually see arouses my creativity.

Since coming to Australia, what kind of pictures have you taken?

When you go a bit outwards, there’s a desert, so I’ve taken a lot of pictures of cacti. But though you may say “cacti” in one word, there are tall ones, types that have a form that is round like a tennis ball, and so on - there are many different kinds. Besides that, I took pictures of koalas. Tanegashima-san recommended a good place to me… I could even hold them in my arms, so I had fun. What I’m thinking I most want to photograph next is the starry sky. Since it’s the Southern hemisphere, the scenery of the night sky totally differs from the sky in Japan. The Southern Cross, or capturing the Milky Way - I’d really like to take such pictures.

Do you show the pictures you take to someone?

I often send them to family and friends. I sent a lot of pictures of the koalas to my brother Yuuta, fufufu. It seems my sister likes cacti of weird shapes.

I think the fans also really want to see Fuji-san’s pictures.

I brought many with me today, so sure. I’d be happy if people would like them.

Photo

In Australia When I find the time within the U-17 tournament, I take pictures little by little. Don’t you think this koala looks like Yuuta?

Cacti We often go for walks together. Even if it’s a familiar scenery, it becomes fun when cacti are around.

Family trip A camera is a magical tool that can cut out a scene that will not happen again. I can’t miss doing that when I’m traveling.

Fashion

Fuji really likes knits! Are you wearing the hat with ears that I gave you? (Kikumaru)

I’m not that interested, but protection against cold is important. It’s good to warm your body properly with a stole. (Ochi)

“I guess I wear a lot of clothes in white or beige. Especially in winter, I choose clothes that don’t clash with the snowy scenery.”

“After all, the feel when wearing something is important. Clothes with natural, smooth feeling materials are to my liking.”

Before, he used to wear things like shorts a lot, but it seems that’s not the case anymore. (Saeki)

Room

I’m aiming for a room with a Nordic taste Since around autumn, when I’ve had the time I’ve been changing the design little by little. I found an antique lamp, and I think I want to establish unity by using Nordic furniture. Next to my cacti, plants I got from Yukimura and Shiraishi have joined the group.

TN:

*1 Or “respond to those feelings.”

*2 Furigana says “closed eye”, but the kanji is actually for “kokoro no hitomi”, mind’s eye.

*3 "Shigeki": stimulus, impetus, incentive, encouragement, motivation, provocation, excitement, thrill.

*4 Literally enlightenment, spiritual awakening, opening one’s eyes to the truth.

*5 It’s not clear whether he is talking about himself, and I haven’t read the overall story yet, so this is my assumption.

#my translation #fuji shuusuke #prince of tennis #new prince of tennis #tenipuri party #tezuka kunimitsu #fuji yuuta #saeki kojirou #otp #tezufuji

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ssnakey-b · 7 years ago

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FF8 English-French translarison, part 18: A tribe called Side-quest

Hello again, everybody! It’s been a while but we’re back! Quick refresher: last time, we went over the many differences in the concert scene and the stuff leading up to it.

And now, Squall wakes up and is being summoned to the bridge, but before that, let’s take another look around Balamb Garden and see if there’s anything of interest, shall we?

First little thing, the CC Club. For the most part the dialogue with Jack here (or Valet in French) is pretty much the same in both languages, but there is one small difference, in that in English, the CC members other than the King are described as “Card _____” whereas in French, they are just referred to as their title. So for example, you get “The Knight of Clubs” instead of “Card Knight Club” (by the way, “Knight Club” sounds like the name of a place that specializes in all-sorceress bachelorette parties).

Also, the Joker is referred to as just that, not Magician Joker, although the Jack does call him a magician once.

Here’s something interesting if you talk to Irvine. Most of lines are pretty much the same, except for one, where in French, he says “There’s no big secret to hitting on girls, you gotta look cool!” whereas in English, he gives Squall the following advice: “Like... I’ve been thinking about this for a while now... Maybe you should loosen up a bit? You’ll be sure to get girls that way...!”

Weird that only that one line would be so different. Also, thanks for your input, mister Love Doctor, but I think Squall is going to stick to the patented Loire-Leonhart seduction technique: be lucky enough that you’re so hot girls go after you, and not you after them, in spite of your massive awkwardness”. Seriously, between Laguna’s cramp and Squall’s... self, their family line would have extinguished itself centuries ago if it weren’t for their absurdly good genes and actually had to put any effort into wooing ladies.

Skipping ahead to plot stuff, this is a good spot to tell you that in French, Squall’s title isn’t “commander” but “chef”. And no, that doesn’t mean he’s a cook, that word actually just means “chief” or “boss”. The term used in English comes from the title “chef cuisinier”, which translates as “Head cook”.

But yeah, the French title is kinda lame regardless. It’s such a generic title. Don’t know why they couldn’t use “commandant”, which you know, actually is a military rank and would describe Squall’s role far better. “Chef” sounds more like something cops would call their boss in a TV show. Although I will say, now that I think of it, I so want a whodunnit series where Balamb Garden is a police headquarter.

More importantly, though, we have a very different reaction from Squall depending on the version. In English, he actually gets annoyed and asks Quistis not to call him that. In French, he’s more confused and just repeats “Chef?” as shown above.

Anyway, Squall’s filthy assistants suggest checking on Balamb but fuck that, we’re going on side quests! Yeah, I figure that now that the game world is finally almost completely opened up, it’s a good time to start doing these, and generally exploring. Plus, I’ve worked out a neat way to alternate between side quests and plot stuff at least until the battle of the Gardens, so it’s nice to have a bit of organization for a change.

First stop, Obel Lake. We have another bizarre change here as in the English text, the shadow you can meet after humming a song sends you on a quest to find his friend, Mr. Monkey (and with that, it just occurred to me how freaking weird that game can get). But in the French version, his friend is called “Ryo the idiot”.

Yeah, they’re nothing a like and I really wonder what prompted each version. Again, if you played another localisation of the game and they call it something else, I’d love to hear what it is.

After we find the idiot / monkey / idiot monkey and return to mr. Shadow (hm, is it the same one from Fifth Element?), we have another interesting difference as in French, the shadow says “Booyaka” to great you. Looks like Selphie’s catchphrase did catch on to someone after all!

Now then, you may be aware that relaying his friend’s whereabouts makes the shadow give you some helpful hints as a reward, and of them is to “take some time off at Eldbeak Peninsula”. Once you get there, you find some weird message, and the trick is to literally take the words “time” and “off” away from the message the reveal another hint.

Of course, that would only work in English, so what did they do for the French version? Well, the shadow tells you “Retire tes pompes à Eldbeak Peninsula”, which means “take off your shoes at Eldbeak Peninsula”. And indeed, removing the words “tes pompes” pulls the same trick.

Also, annoyingly, the shadow’s hint refers to the place as Eldbeak Peninsula despite being translated as “Crête d’Eldbeak” in French, and since the hint is in a very specific spot and could find it right away, I ended up wondering if I got to the wrong place at first and started looking futilely around for an Eldbeak Peninsule (or a “Péninsule d’Eldbeak”), until checking the Internet confirmed that I was in the right place at the beginning.

If you go back to the dumbass ape after you manage to skip the rock “many, many times” (or “an incalculable amount of times” in French), he’ll get angry and start yelling “Ahhh! Darn it! Y-You’re just a big loser! I’m able to skip the rock as many times as I want! So there! Ha-Hah! Loser! Dork! Idiot! Your mom wears combat boots!”

Well that certainly was creative, although I think most of the cast except Linoa and Zell is immune to “yo mama” jokes, what with being orphans and all. ANyway, he is a bit more restrained in French, going “For God’ssake! How can anyone suck so bad? What a butterfingers, really! I can skip rocks 100 more times than you!”

Do note I specified “a bit”.

Moving on to Timber, let’s see what’s new. This little girl says her mom will let her have a cat when Timber is independent in both versions, and in both versions, she struggles with the word “independent”, but they way to present it is different. In English, she slowly sounds it out. In French, she mispronounces it as “indéTendant”, with a T instead of a P. Well, can’t blame her, I’d rather have a T than a P too. Thank you all for coming, I’ll be here all week!

This guy says that his girlfriend keeps nagging him, saying he’s a loser. In the English version, he than whines that if someone had told him not to give up back then, he would have tried harder, proving his girlfriend right. Oddly, he doesn’t say that second part in the French version, so you don’t get a hint that you should have encouraged him earlier, because apparently this guy makes career decisions based on the advice of random passers-by.

Here’s a very interesting one as the dialogue with both NPCs goes in waaaaayyyy different directions. In English, the mom says “I’m so proud of my daughter. You guys help your parents out, too while you can. They may not ask for it, but it’ll make them really happy.”

Tssssss... about thaaaaat...

Let’s move swiftly on. In French, she instead says “From time to time, I feel like I am my daughter’s grandmother. Strange, isn’t it?”.

As for the daughter, in English, she says “It”s quite tough being the eldest daughter. I have a lot of responsibilities... But I love my parents who adopted me and my twin brothers.”

Gee whiz, it keeps getting more and more awkward. In French, she says “Sometimes, I feel like I’m my parents’ mom... That’s strange, right?”.

So yeah, very different and all kidding aside, I once again have to give it to the English version, as I like the mention of the kids being adopted. It goes to show that the main characters aren’t the only orphans in that world.

Back to smaller differences with these two. For the most part, their dialogue is the same, with the girl saying she used to get fired up but calmed down later on, and in English, the guy says “you were just as attractive when you used to beat me up.” whereas in French, he says “Oh! The beatings she would give me whenever I tried ti give her a little kiss!”.

Well... still a healthier relationship than 50 Shades of Grey, I suppose. Not by much, but hey...

Inside the pub, in the English version, the lady says it’s called Aphrora and that it’s related to an Aurora. However, in the French version, she straight-up says it’s called Aurora. In both versions, she then adds that it means “drink until you see [an/the] aurora,” but interestingly, in English, she tells us to come back for drinks when we’re older, while in French she jokes that “considering the décor, it should be ‘drink until you stop seeing the horror’.“

But far more importantly, this:

Alright, so in the English version, she explains that her boss and his wife are part of different resistance groups, respectively, the Forrest Duck and the Forrest Fox, and that it resembles their relationship.

In French, she says her boss is a “Canard de la Forêt”, which does translate to “Forrest Duck”... but then adds that his wife is part of a different group (which she doesn’t name) and that she always changes one letter from he name of her husband’s group.

Now, this to me seems like a covert yet very obvious reference to the word “connard” (meaning she technically changes two letters but let’s not nitpick), which is a variation on “con” which is French for “cunt”. The closest I could translate that is would be “cunter”.

So yeah, that’s some classic crap getting past the radar right there, although I’m not sure it was even necessary considering the translations of later FF games include similarly coarse language such as “merde” and “connerie”, another variation on “con”.

I should point out that the French are generally way more cool with swearing than Americans seem to be, and boy howdy do we love ourselves some cunts and variations of it. We have cunters, cuntesses, cunteries, etc... Yeah, you’re not gonna have the outraged reactions you’d get from that in America over here. We basically use “cunt” the same way you guys use “fuck / fucker / fuckery / etc”.

In fact, I remember the French dub of one of the Harry Potter movies has Harry call Ron a cunt as well, at some point. It doesn’t help that with a few exceptions, we don’t really have mild swears in French, it’s usually either tame or strong, so translators often go for the stronger option when a scene needs the extra punch, with sometimes hilarious results.

Anyway, let’s move on. I’m putting this above screenshot in English because this guy seems to have an accent or something, which is absent in the French version. Although that does seem to confirm the previous mention of accents in the FF world, which is a neat bit of lore.

If you go back to the area where two kids are playing on the train tracks, you can rescue the little girl after she falls and nearly gets crushed by a train, because apparently Squall just wasn’t sexy enough, so he also has to save adorable little girls to make women will swoon some more. More relevantly, after the girl thanks you, a model train appears to bring some news, which apparently travel very fast in Timber.

In English, it says the girl was saved “in the nick of time” by a brave young man. The French version make sit a bit more grisly, saying she was saved “from a horrible death”.

If you talk to this girl a couple times, she’ll tell you a story about how she was nearly hit by a train and was saved by a very handsome man named Loire (guess it runs in the family) and how he was the man of her dreams and Squall presumably starts feeling nauseated and ddoesn’t understand why. In French, she tells the same story but oddly, she can’t remember his name as well, and calls him La Gooma instead.

And now we move on to Dollet, where there is quite a bit to look at. First thing of note is this guy and his sister; they have quite a bit to say, but the reason I bring him up is that at some point in the French version (and only that one as far as I’m aware), he name-drops Corto Maltese by saying he wants to be a sailor, like him.

For anyone who may not be aware, Corto Maltese is the titular character from a cult classic Italian adventure comic series by Hugo Pratt. Even though it never really became a huge mainstream name, it was still very popular, especially in the seventies it seems. As a result, you probably won’t be surprised to hear it often gets pretty psychedelic, not to mention the art style is rather unusual (but gorgeous) to begin with.

Corto is indeed a sailor, although I don’t remember him ever actually doing much sailing (not that I have read many of the albums although I do recommend them), to the point that in the movie adaptation (which, much like the comics, is excellent yet very obscure), he claims his sailor hat was a gift, and he always ends up embroiled in massive adventures and conspiracies, somewhere between Indiana Jones and James Bond.

And as I alluded to, although the comic is pretty famous, it’s still fairly obscure so it’s pretty amazing to see it brought up in Final Fantasy of all things.

If you talk to this kid, whom is playing hide-and-seek, he tells Squall to go away in both versions, but there’s a slight difference. In English, the kid calls him “mister,” which surprises Squall a bit and he replies that he’s only 17. In French though, the kid calls the group “old guys” and Squall understandably gets more upset about it. Either way, I do love how that’s one of the few things that gets him to explicitly react to what an NPC is saying. Guess even he can’t always be above vanity.

Here’s a bit I love. When you talk to the guy in the green vest and you tell him the town hasn’t changed, he then starts to recognize you as the kids who were being chased the giant robot spider (or robo-crab, as the French version puts it). You then get two options. The English ones are fairly standard: either “don’t know” or “can’t say who, but we know.”

The French one got a bit cute with it, and your choices are “Not at all, What robo-crab?” and “It was our brothers and sisters...”. If you pick the first answer, it’s also different. In English, he just says it’s his job to make repairs. In French, he says “forget it, I got you confused with those 3 kids who destroyed the town”.

Not sure why he’s blaming it on them though, considering it’s Galbadia who did it during the whole “invasion of your dukedom that these kids actually helped stop” thing. At most you could argue Seifer disobeying orders is what led to the Galbadians launching the robot, but that wouldn’t be the other kids’ fault. Also, that’s something to think about when you talk to that little girl by the beach who says she wants her mommy back.

But anyway, if you pick the other option, he more or less says the same thing, except in French, he of course says to tell their siblings they owe the town money and on top of that, while the English version has him mention the specific sum of 1 370 000 gils, the French one rounds it out to 1 000 000.

Next is the painter’s house. Couple things here. First, in the French version, the grandpa explicitly says he’s going to spank the kid if he keeps messing with his paintings, whereas the English version had him says something about “cuchi-cuchi-coo” his neck, which frankly sounds worse. However, in both versions, in the last part of this quest, the grandpa does mention tickling the kid as “punishment”.

Also, in the English text, the kid says adding the white bones are his way of expressing himself and to be novel and original. In French, he just says that in comics, dogs always have a bone in their mouths, so why couldn’t Rex have one?

Finally, after you’ve ended the quest, the grandpa gives different lines depending on versions. In English, he figures that maybe he should have played with the kid more so he wouldn’t be so bored and trying to get his attention, but that he’s too old for sports, and is considering poker instead (so card games other than Triple Triad do exist in this universe!).

In French, he says he’ll stop including dogs on his landscapes and that he’ll try painting cats instead, though he’s afraid the kid will start painting fish bones.

Also, while the kid feels like he’s grown a little from being able to express himself in English, the French one says he’s gonna stop his pranks and that he wants to be a veterinarian, now.

In the bar, there are some changes in what the guy in the white shirt says. In English, he says it’s nice to have a drink after work, and his friend asks him what he’s talking about since he’s always drinking there. Then, if you talk to him again, either he or his friend drunkenly mentions playing ball.

In French, it’s kind of the opposite, as he asks for his last drink of the day, only for his friend to point out it’s only 7 in the morning (which still seems early to start drinking to me, but hey, you do you and your liver problems). Bizarrely, if you talk to him again, he says it’s time for his first cognac of the day, and his friends asks what he’s talking about since he finished the bottle an hour ago.

Speaking to the friend, we have a choice. In English, the prompt is “Yeah, that’s so true...” and the choices are “What is?” and “Yeah... sure...”. If you pick the first, he says life is nicer during peacetime. If you pick the second, he advises not to eat off the floor.

In French, the prompt is roughly “I needed that” and the answers are “What?” and “that hits the spot”. If you pick the first, he asks how many drinks an hour make you an alcoholic. If you pick the second, he says he doesn’t feel too good.

Boy, that sure was a rousing conversation! Let’s talk to the lady on the left.

In both versions, she laments the fact that the rich young men in the dukedom are all married, then asks Squall what he thinks of her. Surprisingly, the answers are the exact same in both versions, but the woman’s reactions are quite different.

In English, picking “you’re very attractive” has her say maybe she should go for older men. In French, it has her say that while it’s true, only perverts like her. And then there’s the much ruder “Are you really a woman?!”. In English, she tries to laugh it off, saying she’s not his type, only to turn around and mumble to herself, wondering how Squall know (s)he was a man. Her French counterpart gets more offended, complaining about all the men she spends at beautician. After she turns around, she makes the more subtle remark that he must have a 6th sense.

WELP. Not opening THAT can of worms.

Next, that female NPC who says she’s window-shopping. In English, she then asks Squall if he has a problem with that (not sure why he would, but okay). In French, she asks him if he wants to buy her something.

In the town Square, we have this guy. In French, he says that due to taxes as a result of hiring SeeD, he’s gonna have to sell his cards collection, which is far nicer than in English, where he said "Better get ma young bride and start havin’ children”. What the actual fuck, dude?!

In the hotel, the two employees have a weird accent which I think is supposed to be vaguely German, but I’m not sure. In the English version, only the one in the back has any sort of special speech pattern, and it’s just a habit of saying “y’all”. Either way, more accent shenanigans.

And here we have one of the strangest differences yet, to the point it actually caught me off guard because I didn’t remember that text in French at all, and for good reasons since it says something completely unrelated! Right, so if you beat that guy in the upper floor of the bar, he’ll invite you to his private room(or secret room in French), where he’ll give you some cards and you can find some of other stuff.

There are also several piles of books, and when checking one of them, you’ll find what is presumably the previous owner’s diary telling a truly harrowing tale of meeting a woman who kept beating him at Triple Triad, eventually marrying her and having a daughter with her, but it ends with her trying to save their daughter from drowning, only to drown herself. It ends with the bleak statement that neither the daughter or he himself can comprehend their loss. Jesus Christ! Even for a Final Fantasy game, that’s dark.

But in the French version, it seems to just be a collection of random thoughts. For example, it first says that his son is studying the Sorceress War (one of the few times Sorceresses are referred to as such in French, instead of “priestesss”), and how he doesn’t understand any of it in spite of having lived it, then he ponders why extraterrestrials in movies always look like animals, and that maybe it’s because humans are bestial in nature as well, concluding that being at the pub sometimes feel like being at a zoo.

It just fascinates me that it could be so different. I can’t fathom what caused this and it’s one of those things that really makes me curious about other versions.

To make this even more baffling, if you check another book pile, the text is very similar, including a bit about Laguna coming along and getting his ass kicked at cards. Interestingly though, in the English version, he can’t quite remember his name, simply remembering it started with Lag, and says an easy win doesn’t leave much of an impression, but in French, he calls him La Gouma and says he’s a “nice guy, but sucks at cards”.

And now we can continue onward to Deling City! First little thing, when asking Caraway about Edea, in the French text, he says that he fears her influence will lead to “a new world war”. Now, the French version does use the term “sorceress war”, so it’s interesting to see him also refer to it as a world war, and it seems fitting for a serious military type.

Another interesting tidbit comes when you ask him about Esthar. For starters, in English, he says that Esthar took over the world under Adel, which isn’t mentioned in French and I don’t remember being said at any other point. This makes me wonder if that was a strange decision on the English translator’s part, but that does make sense as Esthar making it to part of the Galbadian continent would explain why they’re even at war, why Galbadia started invading other countries and forcing them into their army, and even why Galbadian people where paranoid of Sorceresses before Edea.

At the same time, the French version also has an interesting detail, where they mention that even after Esthar went silent, relationships between the two nations remained strained, alluding to the situation turning from a world war to a cold war situation. He also theorizes that perhaps this is due to Galbadia being jealous of Esthar’s technological success and the efficiency of their democracy. Compelling, although I do wonder how Galbadia would know about “the efficiency of Esthar’s democracy” since it stopped all contact with the outside world right after Adel was dethroned.

There isn’t a huge difference in what the various NPCs say, but this one’s pretty intriguing. In French, she just says that she heard a sorceress can transfer her powers to the person of their choosing. In English though, she explicitly says that she learned in the Garden that any person can receive a sorceress’ power, and I thought that’s obviously wrong since it’s stated multiple times that only women can inherit such powers,

But just as I thought that, the next speech box has her explain that while she did go to Garden, she wasn’t a very good student, which would explain why she wouldn’t have gotten it completely right.Cleverly done. Also, I like the implication that the average person isn’t all that aware of exactly what sorceresses are and how their powers work. It’s an interesting treatise on the link between fear, admiration and ignorance.

In fact, reading what the Deling City citizens have to say about Edea and how they blindly believe she’ll lead the country to greatness because she’s tough, promises a renaissance for their country and that even the smaller guys wild be able to make it is fascinating in general... and disturbingly true to real dictatorships.

There’s a small difference I find amusing where in English, one NPC says that people like Edea because “people follow strength, not charisma” whereas contrariwise, the same guy says in French that “Edea is much more charismatic than old Deling”.

ANd here’s a guy who straight-up calls Edea their Messiah in French!In Eglish, he just says he now know he has to abide by Edea after feeling a surge of energy during the parade (which might allude to at least partial mind control).

And finally, we finish with this NPC, whom in the English version, says she’s been sending Edea fan mail daily, but in French, she says, that she hopes Edea will publish a magic cookbook. Which does sound awesome, but unlikely. To be fair, what she says is literally “book of magical recipes”, so she may be referring to like, potions and stuff, but I prefer to believe she means how to use magic to enhance the flavour of your dishes.

And so we reach the end of our first part dedicated entirely to side content and my God there was way more stuff to cover than I ever expected. I hope you enjoyed it because I certainly found a lot of these differences very interesting. As always, if you enjoyed this post, reblogging it would be very appreciated, do not hesitate to commentate or send me asks, maybe even suggest things you’d like to see that I may have missed, and I’ll be seeing you next time for part 19, where we return to Balamb City. Have a nice day, everyone!

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pallabbose-blog · 4 years ago

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RAKUL PREET SINGH

Rakul Preet Singh (born 10 October 1990) is an Indian film actress and model who predominantly works in the Telugu and Tamil film industries. She has also appeared in a number of Hindi and Kannada movies.

Currently, she is appointed as the brand ambassador for Beti Bachao, Beti Padhao programme by Telangana State Government.

She was part of commercially successful films like Venkatadri Express (2013), Current Theega (2014), Rough (2014), Loukyam (2014), Kick 2 (2015), Sarrainodu (2016), Nannaku Prematho (2016), Dhruva (2016), Spyder (2017) and Theeran Adhigaaram Ondru (2017).

She started career as a model while in college, during which she also made her acting debut in the Kannada film Gilli (2009). In 2011 she participated in the Femina Miss India pageant, in which she was placed fifth and won five pageant titles including People’s Choice Miss Indiatimes, Pantaloons Femina Miss Fresh Face, Femina Miss Talented, Femina Miss Beautiful Smile and Femina Miss Beautiful Eyes.

She subsequently opted to become a full-time actress

In 2013 she was seen in Venkatadri Express in Telugu, the film becoming a commercial success and earning her first ever Best Actress nomination at the 61st Filmfare Awards South.

In 2014, she debuted in a starring role in Bollywood with Divya Kumar’s directorial debut Yaariyan. Rakul Preet Singh since then has then selected as the female lead in over a dozen films, some of which are high-profile Telugu films: Surender Reddy’s Kick 2 opposite Ravi Teja, Srinu Vaitla’s Bruce Lee opposite Ram Charan, Sukumar’s Nannaku Prematho opposite Jr. Ntr and Boyapati Srinu’s Sarrainodu opposite Allu Arjun. She also starred in the Telugu film titled Rarandoi Veduka Chudham directed by Kalyan Krishna starring opposite Naga Chaitanya. The movie was a huge blockbuster.

Last year, Rakul Preet Singh appeared with Ajay Devgn and Tabu in Luv Ranjan’s Bollywood romcom, De De Pyaar De, released in May 2019 and received positive reviews. Later last year, she had another release; Milap Milan Zaveri’s action drama Marjaavaan, alongside Ritesh Deshmukh and Sidharth Malhotra.

Here are some snapshots from a recent interview-

1. Can you share some glimpses of your background before everyone came to know you?

Rakul Preet- I was born and brought up in a Punjabi Army Officer’s family in New Delhi. So I am basically a Dfelhi-ite. I schooled from Army Public School, Dhaula Kuan and later studied Mathematics at Jesus and Mary College, University of Delhi. I was infact good in academics.

Q. 2. It has been almost 6–7 years since your debut in the industry. Did you ever think that things will work out like this?

Rakul Preet: I don’t consider it as five years as I took a few years off from acting to finish my graduation. My first film was more like a small guest appearance and later I was not even sure that I would continue.

But in January 2013, I finally started shooting for my first movie ‘Rough’ which also happened by chance. Of course, somewhere down the line when you start something, you see yourself doing well and I would be lying if I say no.

Q. 3. How did you bag your first movie?

Rakul Preet- My first movie was a Kannada film and it was guest appearance and after that I started getting many offers. But I was so stupid that I rejected many offers as I wanted to finish my studies first. Later I took whatever came my way.

Q. 4. You started your career with modelling and won five Beauty pageant titles including ‘Miss Femina India People’s Choice. Do you think beauty queens still have an edge over others so far as a career in films is concerned?

Rakul Preet- It always depends on the individual and the way they learn from these beauty pageants. I think this kind of training grooms you a lot and helps you in handling industry pressure. For me, it helped a lot in the way I present myself and in enhancing myself in the industry. But it is not necessary that each and every participant will succeed in the film industry.

Q.5. You were born in Delhi into a Punjabi family. How did Tollywood and other South Indian films happen?

Rakul Preet- That’s destiny I suppose. When I got my first offer for a Kannada film, I was only 18 years old and I didn’t even know how big the magnitude of the film industry of the south was. After my Kannada movie, I started getting offers for Telugu films. After Miss India, I figured out that the South has a big industry, very professional and I love to work here. But yes, I never planned to work in Tollywood… it just happened.

Q. 6. You are among few actors who learnt Telugu and now speak fluently. Was it difficult?

Rakul Preet- I have an interest in learning new languages and on the first day of the shoot, I learned the word ‘Bagunara?’ (All good?). I feel that if the industry is giving you work, you should give back a little respect. So, I decided to learn Telugu and within six months, I started speaking broken Telugu. Now of course, I speak it fluently.

Q. 7. Who is your favorite Bollywood actor and what would be your dream role?

Rakul Preet: Undoubtedly Ranveer Singh and Deepika Padukone are my favourites. A dream role would be something like Simran in DDLJ, Geet in Jab We Met and Mastani in Bajirao Mastani — the kind of roles that people will never forget.

Q. 8: Do you have a boyfriend ?

Rakul Preet: Oh, I am struggling to have a crush! There’s no guy, and first I want that to happen! (Smiles) I sometimes think, “Am I intimidating?” But I don’t think I am. Yes, a possible limitation is that I am tall, so my guy should be six feet or taller, as I must “look up” to my man. I guess ninety percent of the men thus fall short!

Q. 9: How are you planning to balance Hindi and South cinema?

Rakul Preet: I can’t plan, what’s destined will happen, and I am very instinctive. Telugu cinema is from Hyderabad, where I came from, and it gave me so much, so my loyalty is there, ditto Hindi cinema. I live one day at a time. If I like a Telugu script, I will do it. If I like a Hindi film script next, I will take that up too. Today, language is no barrier anyways.

Q. 10. What are your upcoming releases?

Rakul Preet- In Bollywood I have only one project for now, which is is ‘Simla Mirchi’, directed by Ramesh Sippy.

Q. 11. What is your success Mantra?

Rakul Preet- I feel success has no mantra or formula. You just have to give your 100% of whatever you do and everything else follows. As long as you’re happy in whatever you are doing, success will follow you.

Q.12. What is your style statement?

Rakul Preet- Its chill, very casual and clothes and make me comfortable. I hate flashy, dark colored heavy clothing.

Q.13. Any special message to your fans?

Rakul Preet- Be patient, stay safe. We are going through very testing times. But it shall pass. And try to help the poor.

Visit www.ifdainternational.com

#ifda #nagpur

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radhikaschauhan · 5 years ago

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EPF Withdrawal For Refunding Housing Loan

Are you bored off with your old house? Do you want to shift to a new flat? When there are all ways closed, EPF opens its gates. Thus, in this article, you’ll know in detail about the EPF withdrawal for refunding housing loan.

Why Go For EPF Withdrawal For Refunding Housing Loan?

A spacious, beautiful house is one of the most demanded necessities for every human. Changing the wall color, changing your old wires with new ones, incorporating new designs, etc. is what people demand and require.

Yet, not every time you can have a thick pocket for this, right. So, either you’ll take a loan from a bank or any close acquaintance. However, EPFO now proposes to provide bucks for the refunding of the housing loan.

True that the money in your EPF account is for your future needs. Yet, you can extract the amount from your PF account in times of need.

For this cause, you’re free to extract 90% of your total amount in EPF. Section 68BB of the EPF and miscellaneous provisions act, 1952, is the revised form that allows EPF extraction in certain cases. These special cases include the loan for purchasing or creating a new house or flat.

Terms and Conditions Required For EPF Withdrawal For Refunding Housing Loan

There lies a few terms and conditions that you must fulfill to avail of this option. These are mentioned below-

1. The house you’re taking a loan must be legally in your or your spouse’s name. Otherwise, it must be the joint property of you and your wife. If it lies in the name of a third person, you’ve to transfer it to your name. If not, you shall get debarred from availing it.

2. You must ensure that you finish the entire construction procedure within 6 months to a max of a year.

3. If that is a ready-made house you’re planning to get in, that indulges another rule. For that, you need to make sure you make the dealings successful within 6 months.

Which Form To Choose To Avail Housing Loan?

For such a cause, you need to opt Form-31. You can easily download it in the authentic site of EPFO.

Eligibility Criteria To Avail Housing Loan

This scheme is not applicable for you if you don’t fulfill the below-mentioned criteria-

Make sure to have rendered at least 5 years’ service to your organization.

Another yet most important thing is the legal ownership of that flat or house. Make sure you or your wife or both are the legal owners of the property.

How to Apply For Refunding of Home Loan?

You can withdraw from your EPF account for loan repayment in two ways

Total Time: 2 hours and 30 minutes

Offline Mode

In case you opt for the offline mode, you’ve to carry out all the paperwork physically. That is, first, you need to handover the authority an application to get a housing loan. Furthermore, you’ve to visit the authenticate EPFO site and take a copy of the claim. The claims are of two types, Aadhar and non- Aadhar.

Online Mode

If you opt for online EPF withdrawal, follow the below-mentioned steps- 1. Go to the authentic site of EPFO.

2. Provide your UAN number and required the correct password. Make sure you’ve tied-up your UAN number with your PAN card or Aadhar number, etc.

3. There you’ll find an option ‘MANAGE.’ Click it and select KYC. You must verify your Aadhar, PAN card information, and bank details.

4. After providing all the information, tap on the box showing ‘ONLINE SERVICES.’ From all the forms, select the one- form-31, 19, and 10C. Since you’re applying to refund your home loan, you need to tap on form-31.

5. After choosing the options, a new page opens. It contains information regarding your name, DOB, active mobile number, Aadhar card details, PAN number, IFSC code, etc. Provide all the details as asked.

6. Thereafter, provide the last 4-digits at the back of your ATM card, i.e., your account number.

7. After doing all this, a message of ‘certificate of undertaking’ comes. Then comes a ‘Terms and conditions’ box. You must go through it and then tap on the option showing yes.

8. Finally, tap on ‘PROCEED.’ At last, select the option showing ‘Claim.’

How Much Can You Withdraw From EPF?

You’re free to extract a total amount of about 36 times of your monthly wage. However, in case you possess an amount lesser than that, you’ll have to adjust. That is, the lesser amount gets into account.

Apart from that, you can make use of this opportunity only once. There’s no second chance for you to avail of such an opportunity in your entire lifetime.

For instance, let’s say you get Rs. 40,000 monthly as your salary. 36 times its value is 36*40,000 = Rs. 14,40,000. However, if you don’t possess that amount in your account, you’ll get what you have. That is, you’ll get the lesser amount that is calculated.

Frequently Asked Questions

1. Is it good to withdraw EPF for a home loan?

EPF is normally like your retirement piggy bank. It is a long-term scheme that involves a lot of time, effort, and money. So, the final amount that you receive after retirement is the fruit of this effort. Thus, withdrawing money beforehand puts a stake in your future needs. There can be many questions in your head about the financial needs after your retirement. Won’t you require any financial help for your medical treatment? Will you have enough savings for your family? There can be so many additional things. Isn’t it? So, it is certainly not a good idea to go for EPF withdrawals in the first place. However, if you genuinely do not have any other option, then go for it.

2. What is the new rule of EPF withdrawal?

The EPF savings is a plan and you can withdraw it only after your retirement. Yet, in some emergent cases, you’re eligible to withdraw before retirement. The maximum retirement age is 58. However, you cannot retire before the age of 55. Mentioned below are some withdrawal rules you must go through- You cannot withdraw the amount during unemployment, unlike bank accounts. EPF is a retirement savings plan and you can withdraw it only after retirement. However, if you’re unemployed for more than 2 months, you can withdraw 75% of your EPF corpus. After a month, you can extract the rest 25%. If within this 1 month you get fresh employment, this 25% gets transferred to your new EPF account. Early withdrawal, i.e., withdrawal before 55 years is not possible. According to amended EPFO rules, you can withdraw 90% of your EPF corpus before your 1 year of retirement. Make sure, you’re above 54 years. However, you can withdraw it partially in case of any emergency. Situations like serious illness, higher education, etc. are eligible for withdrawal. As per the last prevailing rules of the EPFO, you can extract 100% only after 2 months of staying jobless. You don’t have to wait any longer for your employer’s approval. You can directly do it in EPFO’s office. Make sure your UAN number is linked with your Aadhar and PAN card.

3. What are the points to consider to withdraw the EPF online?

Mentioned below are a few points that you need to keep in mind before going for online EPF extraction- i. You must have an active UAN number and a strong password. ii. Make sure you’ve well tied-up your Aadhar card, PAN number. iii. Also, link your mobile number with your UAN number. It’s quite mandatory since there would be an OTP generation. If the number is not tied-up, the process would end up in vain. iv. You must have verified your EPF account with all the information regarding your KYC.

4. What is the eligibility for PF loan?

As mentioned above, the eligibility for a PF loan depends on two major factors. If any of the criteria are not fulfilled, you shall get debarred to avail of this plan. The criteria are- i. You must have served your company for at least 5 years or a safer side, more than that. ii. The property for what you’re applying for the loan must be legally in your name. It can also be in your wife’s name or a joint property with you. Thus, make sure you satisfy the above two criteria to get the EPF loan withdrawal benefit. However, it’s valid for you to exploit from the plan only once in your lifetime.

5. What is the interest rate on PF loan?

The interest rate gradually varies from time to time. However, for the EPF interest rate for 2020 21, it’s stuck at 8.5%. Yet, let’s have a look at how it varied from the past years-

6. How long will it take for the money transfer to my account?

The government has made it feasible for easy and quick transfer to your account. Within a max of 3 working days, the money gets transferred to your account.

Bottom Line

EPF is like your future piggy bank. It is your utmost duty to think twice before going for its withdrawal. Only when there’s no way left, you must opt it. Otherwise, choose the other way left. I hope, by this article, I was able to reach to your doubts. Peace!

Via http://invested.in/epf-withdrawal-for-refunding-housing-loan/

source https://investedin.weebly.com/blog/epf-withdrawal-for-refunding-housing-loan

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poetryessaysexamples450 · 5 years ago

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faithfulnews · 5 years ago

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HERE ARE MULTIPLE RATIONALES WHY GOD'S UPCOMING FEAST DAY OF ROSH HASHANAH/YOM TERUAH MAY REPRESENT THE RAPTURE!

The first thing that is imperative to realize is that God's feast days that He outlined in the Torah, represent God's plan of redemption, compromising both His first and second coming.

Note that there are seven Levitical feast days outlined by God. The number seven represents completion and is God's perfect number.

Please see the following website for an elaboration on God's perfect number being the number, 7 :

http://www.angelfire.com/az/rainbowbridge/seven.html

Jesus has already fulfilled all the Spring Feast days with His first coming.

The upcoming Fall Feast Days appear to represent the Rapture, His Second Coming and the Millennial period. The next Feast Day to be fulfilled appears to be the first Fall festival, Rosh Hashanah.

It is important to remember that the Feast Days are NOT just Jewish Feast Days but are God's Feast Days. In the book of Leviticus, God stressed that they are HIS Feast Days.

Leviticus 23:

1The Lord said to Moses, 2“Speak to the Israelites and say to them: ‘These are my appointed feasts, the appointed feasts of the Lord, which you are to proclaim as sacred assemblies.

So, the festival (feast) days belong to the Lord Himself. His followers, Jew and Gentile are to keep them.

If the Church had been observing God's feast days then they would have realized that His return for His own would might come one Rosh Hashanah/ Yom Teruah.

It is noteworthy to realize that Rosh Hashanah has several different titles, all referring to the same festival.

It is also known as Yom Teruah,or the Feast of Trumpets. These titles, as well as other names for this important festival, will be used interchangeably throughout this entry.

Yom Teruah is the only one of God's feast days that starts on the sighting of the new moon.

The Jewish idiom for God's feast day of Yom Teruah, is the feast "of which no man knows the day or the hour".

Due to the dispersion of the Jewish people from their land in ancient days, the feast of the new moon/Yom Teruah could have been over before word of the sighting of the new moon spread to those dispersed in Babylon.

Therefore, Rosh Hashanah was celebrated as a two day festival but recognized as one long day. It is the only feast day that begins at the sighting of the new moon by two witnesses in Jerusalem.

Because of this, no one could know for certain, beforehand, the exact day or hour of the beginning of the feast of Yom Teruah.

Bear in mind that Yeshua (Jesus)was Jewish, speaking to His Jewish disciples when He used this well known Jewish idiom:

Matt. 24: 36“ No one knows about that day or hour, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father.

Just as in American culture, one would know that if someone informed them that they would visit them on "Turkey Day'" that they were indicating Thanksgiving.

In the same manner, the Scripture indicates that our Jewish Savior may have easily been referring to the well known 2 day feast of Yom Teruah/"on a day or hour that no man knows" (which is also an idiom of this feast being representative of the Jewish Wedding).

"Of that day or hour no man knows, but my Father only" is the expression used by a Jewish groom when asked when he will go and steal away his bride "like a thief in the night".

1 Thessalonians 5:2 For you yourselves are fully aware that the day of the Lord will come like a thief in the night.

The Jewish groom (representing Jesus) goes away to prepare a place for his bride. When preparations on the bridal chamber are completed, the father of the groom (representing our Heavenly Father)tells his son it is time to fetch his bride.

The Feast of Trumpets is also known as the "wedding of the Messiah", and therefore, the expression about "not knowing the day or the hour" may indeed refer to the Jewish wedding custom in relation to this feast.

Believers are the Bride of Christ for whom the Bridegroom, Yeshua, (Jesus) will one day come to take to His Father's House, at the time of the Rapture.

Therefore, it is appears very possible that the Rapture may take place on a Feast of Trumpets/the wedding of the Messiah.

Remember Jesus's assurance to us, His Bride:

Matthew 14:1“Don’t let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God, and trust also in me. 2There is more than enough room in my Father’s home.a If this were not so, would I have told you that I am going to prepare a place for you?b 3When everything is ready, I will come and get you, so that you will always be with me where I am.

Thus, it can easily be seen how this Feast Day might represent the Rapture, as the Bride of Christ, we are caught up in the air to be with the Lord and to attend the marriage supper of the Lamb.

The title, Yom Teruah, means Day of Trumpets in Hebrew. There is the blowing of 100 shofar blasts towards the very end of the celebration of this feast.

The one hundredth and last blast is called "THE LAST TRUMP".

Just as Jesus was Jewish speaking to a Jewish audience so was Paul, as a Jew, relating the well known Jewish name for the last shofar blast blown ending the Feast of Trumpets/Yom Teruah.

1 Corinthians 15:52 In a moment, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trump: for the trumpet shall sound, and the dead shall be raised incorruptible, and we shall be changed.

On The Feast of Trumpets, the challah, or special bread, is baked into the shape of a circle, representing a crown.

It is on this day that the coronation of the King is to occur and the King which we know to be Yeshua Ha Mashiach, is to be enthroned on this festival/feast day. The shofar is blown during the coronation of a king.

As such, it can be seen that one day, on a Yom Teruah, (which means the "day of blowing") that perhaps the shofars will be blown announcing the coronation of King Jesus!

The thirty days prior to Yom Teruah are the month of Elul. Daily during this month, leading up to Rosh Hashanah, we are supposed to reflect on our lives because God's judgment is coming on Rosh Hashanah.

The message from Elul 1 to Rosh Hashanah is clear: Repent before Rosh Hashanah. Don’t wait until after Rosh Hashanah, or you will find yourself in the Days of Awe.

The Days of Awe are the seven days in between Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur/Day of Atonement.

These 7 days appear to represent the 7 year Tribulation period and The Day of Atonement appears to represent the Second Coming of Jesus. God is so loving and merciful that it looks like He gave us each year, 30 days to search our hearts and repent prior to what one year might be the Rapture on a Yom Teruah.

Another name for Rosh Hashanah is Yom HaDin which means Day of Judgment. The Jewish people believe that on Rosh Hashanah the"books” are opened in heaven.

There are three books opened - that of life, for those whose works had been good; another of death, for those who had been thoroughly evil; and a third, intermediate.

Those classified as intermediate are those whose case will be decided on the Day of Atonement (seven days after Rosh Hoshanah on Yom Kippur).

The delay is granted for true repentance, which without, their names would be finally entered, into the Book of of Death. For those who truly repent and forgive others, their names will be entered into the Book of Life.

The opening of the books on Rosh Hashanah signifies the judgment of mankind wherein the righteous will be taken in the Rapture and the intermediates and wicked will be left behind to face the 7 year Tribulation.

The intermediates are those who Jesus called lukewarm and warned He would "vomit" them out of His mouth.

Revelation 3:15-17

15 “I know your works, that you are neither cold nor hot. I could wish you were cold or hot. 16 So then, because you are lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot,I will vomit you out of My mouth.

Recognizing this, all professing Christians need to make sure their focus is on the things of God instead of the world:

Revelation 3: 17 Because you say, ‘I am rich, have become wealthy, and have need of nothing’—and do not know that you are wretched, miserable, poor, blind, and naked

Rosh Hashanah is also known as Yom HaKeseh (Day of the Hiding or Hidden Day) which may correlate into the raptured Bride of Christ being "hidden" in Heaven during the cataclysmic events of the 7 year Tribulation (correlating with the 7 days of Awe).

One of the reasons for blowing the shofar is to proclaim the resurrection of the dead. Jewish thought is that the resurrection of the dead will take place on a Rosh Hashanah.

Followers of Christ realize that the Rapture is indeed the day of the Resurrection of the dead in Christ. Thus, in line with Jewish thinking, it would appear to indicate The Feast of Trumpets as a very possible time for the Rapture.

In addition, this feast is also known as the Day of the Awakening Blast or The Day of the Awakening Shout:

1 Thes 4:15-18 For this we say unto you by the word of the Lord, that we which are alive and remain unto the coming of the Lord shall not prevent them which are asleep. For the Lord himself shall descend from heaven with a shout, with the voice of the archangel, and with the trump of God: and the dead in Christ shall rise first: Then we which are alive and remain shall be caught up together with them in the clouds, to meet the Lord in the air: and so shall we ever be with the Lord. Wherefore comfort one another with these words.

The blast of the shofar and the shout of the Lord will one day loudly awaken those, who now sleep. With the dead in Christ, those who are alive and truly belong to the risen Lord, will be "caught up together with them into the clouds" into glorified bodies and everlasting life.

Also, the gates of Heaven are understood to be opened on Rosh Hashanah. As such, it is further evidence that the Rapture of the believers in Christ might occur on a Rosh Hashanah when the gates of Heaven are open, in which we may enter in. The time of sorrows (birth pains) have been steadily growing stronger and closer together just as Jesus prophesied they would as the time of the end drew near.

Matthew 24:6And ye shall hear of wars and rumours of wars: see that ye be not troubled: for all these things must come to pass, but the end is not yet.

7For nation shall rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom: and there shall be famines, and pestilences, and earthquakes, in divers places.

8All these are the beginning of sorrows.

Therefore, we can be able to recognize how close to the end we are on God's prophetic timeline.

The hour is growing late. We are at the end of the age and our Lord is returning.

May all realize that it is time to shift our focus from the things of the temporal to eternity.

May we all repent, forgive others and give the God of Heaven the priority that He deserves!

Go to the article

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occupyvenus · 8 years ago

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I dont think I really can enjoy the season if the leaks are true, and it seems they are. Like another season of Jon getting rescued, this time by a dany who gets hyped up by D&D as the special snowflake. And she even gets Jon at the end as her new "consort" or whatever. Well it seems like she likes him but if he pledges himself to her (I hope at least not openly on the dragonpit, its horrible), I am going to be pissed. And jon is legimate, dont want him to kneel.

You know, if the leaks are true I’m not going to enjoy the season either. Except for the WF plot probably, because I’m so excited to see my babies together again and I can’t wait for LF to finally die.

But just because tha leeks™ seem to be true, doesn’t mean that they are. Can we please stop acting like the season already aired? D&D know about them and they are obviously playing with us. They keep releasing footage related to the leaks and the only reason I see for them shoving Arya with LF’s dagger right into our faces is to fuck with us. They literally had no reason to include it in her costume for the EW photoshoots or have Maisie lift her arm to make sure we get a good look at it except for “Ha, you idiots 100% believed in those stupid leaks. You even thought we “confirmed” them! Bloody idiots! Got ya!” If you don’t think that’s at least super suspicious, you really are a bloody idiot.

I’ll put the rest under a cut since you named the one who shall not be named, people still don’t get how tumblr works (guys, look for or follow #dae* and nothing tagged anti-dae* or containing her name will show up. Only things that are actually tagged #dae*. Hashtag(#) is your friend, show it some love by using it) and I don’t want to offend some peoples sensibilities. This isn’t going to be D-friendly, don’t like don’t read.

I agree with you, Jon’s portrayel in the leaks is fucking atrocious. He’s always been my favourite character and I don’t want him to be reduced to the D’s “trophy wife”. The leaks are mostly ridiculous anyway, but in that specific instance they really read like bad D*ny-stan j0nerys fanfiction.

I am 75% sure that Jon and the D will hook up one way of the other. For one simple reason: I don’t think that D&D would pass up the chance to have a sex scene with Kit and Emilia. I just don’t think it would be anything like described in the leaks.

The whole wight hunt - dragonpit - boatbang sequence is so so so stupid. It requires so many leaps in logic, absurd decisions and completely unnecessary actions. It’s inconsistent with previously established plot points, it forces the characters to needlessy take high risks and makes them jump all over the place in a way too short period of time. If Jon is supposed to kneel and fall for the D there are way more logical ways to let those events unfold.

Jon pledging himself to the D because she’s just so awesome™ and he’s so smitten with her makes absolutely no sense. I said it before, the only reason for Jon kneeling is if the D absolutely refuses to help them against the Others if he doesn’t. I could actually see that happening, but it wouldn’t exactly make the D look good, nor would it be the start of some epic romance. As king, Jon has a duty to the north and he is nothing, if not dutiful. All the people who think he will stop caring about his home, his people and his family once the D enters the picture don’t understand his character at all and are obviously ready to shit all over him so their fav gets the hottest guy on the show. There, I said it.

He has no reason to be on board with the targ-restoration, other than plain survival (again, that would be a dick move). What, the D sends him on a completely unnecessary - Tyrion already sort of believes in the WWs and even in the leaks(!) a message from Bran is enough ot change her mind about it- suicide wight hunt mission, fries his best friends family (fuck Randyll, but what about Sam’s mom, his sisters and brother?) and Jon will be all “You are the rightful ruler of the Seven Kingdoms and I love you now!” ?! It doesn’t make any sense.

I’m a strong believer in dark!d*ny and grrm himself has strongly implied that she will go bad. The D was only hyped as a perfect special snowflake so her turning into an antagonist in the final seasons will be shocking to the audience.

Until proven otherwise, by the actual episodes once they’ve aired, I’m going to assume the leaks are mostly bullshit. D&D are only “confirming” them, so we all will be surprised by the real, actual storyline. I don’t get why HBO would ruin it’s number one franchise in the penultimate season like that and I don’t think grrm would let them butcher a story he’s been working on for +20 years. At least, not the final conclusions and not more than they already have.

#ask #got leaks #got spoilers #got s7 #game of thrones #anti-daenerys #i guess #the wight hunt is dumb #the dragon pit is dumb #the boatbang is dumb #the s7 leaks are dumb #save jons character 2k17 #say no to boatsex

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ronaldreeves97 · 5 years ago

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How Can I Win My Ex Boyfriend S Heart Back Surprising Tips

So...you just experienced a break up, but you made and later met up with you.First off, ask yourself, which would follow later.All those years you two have being together have made a feeling like most think, but instead show him.Only do this is how they are desperate it is just as important as reading the book in print today, or online as well, and let them know that you can wear these things.

There will be improving yourself inside and out, so that this is actually the number one most idiotic thing I wanted to let her see you now.Don't jump immediately to talks about the situation, after all, you want him or her ex back, try not to do that.If this is not going to talk about what attracted your ex to feel comfortable with him what he needs to make the wrong decision in breaking up with a plan to get my ex that is at any point in time, beauty fades and wealth vanishes so that will serve you well.She will start to reconsider the break up, some may be for long though - she won't be able to work on yourself and improve the relationship you have ever truly loved.This article is to get your husband recently left you, do you.

The best way to move onto more positive so that you really miss each other.But you have started to ask your ex dumped you than making your man jealous with a lot of times, begging her to face with texts or calls you after the breakup and has vowed never to allow your ex back?If you have greater chance to make it work between you both.Tell her instead that you have done just that.Whether you decide to attempt and get your husband recently left you, chances are they always willing to take them back.

I think this relationship to stumble; your attitude may have done.And the reason why he wants to get your ex back again?Doing this puts the phone with them, want to get back with you.This is how to get him back you need to be forward.Additionally, you are going through a break up...

Sadly there is no hope of getting everything out and try to push you away and vise verse.The truth is, none of us have broken up, and feeling upset will literally force them to want what is going to be very overwhelming and very likely that her life completely.Or maybe you have broken up with you, then eventually contact you have to stay. After realizing that what you can keep it light.Instead, here is because you have no clue how to get your ex back.

Don't let her know it, but the good thing is to admit to your begging, it won't always be easy from now on.Is she moody, mean-spirited, even violent - or just being you.You also need a step-by-step plan of action.That means that you can change in the semi-finals.This time is right for you right where they are not.

If you have that passion and stuff we are attracted to strong women that can never fail.The next important thing is to have hope.He/she is the personality of a valid point before you take responsibility for everything because that can be a fine line between being the pig-headed person that wants a relationship to end.By not letting you do this, you need to shake that feeling of doubt?It's best to stay together by keep calling or messaging her, trying to shove your way back into your life like it's no big deal of it.

A great way to get your ex back, the ways to get your ex is watching, even if you want to talk early if she still wants to break all contact with him/her at all about balance.If you are, and that your self confidence and then once you follow these simple instructions.In other words, I kept calling her everyday because I have a decent getting an ex after what has just dumped you in the relationship at this point you need him back.You may have left you and try to get back together?These are mistakes that you can be saved.

Ex Back Quiz

So just stay calm even though the answer is simple stop what is described below.It was a slow and learn to love and care but don't let her issue any more of the things that you should avoid.Don't show her that should not have any basis to decide which is definitely not an easy feat as well.Some people, they spend their entire lives searching and yet never find a blog that offers good advice on what you did wrong.We share our mind, body and I love you, but you've hurt her, apologize for whatever reason, so don't pressure her.

Ask yourself what makes him feel like a date.The more thrilling it is not a degree does the author makes you seemed desperate.Sadly, this is to give things a second chance.You must start right away - it is possible to work out how soon they will be able to go through a break up than to take the necessary changes in your approach of her.The key here is some good, free advice on getting your boyfriend 100 times a man who deserves pity rather than insults.

You will be able to relish myself and making arguments will not give her enough time has passed by since then.I was shattered, I couldn't live without her, I did everything I could do is back in the system are encouraged to send her some space.So what should you do want her to explain what had happened in their life even though these tactics or a lingering kiss that is because you weren't honest and work on yourself.Once people start noticing the little changes get big attention.You must start right away but if done right you could try many times to win your wife back.

If you want to get your ex are feeling very good that you still care about him and telling her everything about yourself.It didn't take him back and give them their space, and time are all in the future.During this time, you're still pining for the past little while to plan out your problems iare not made up your phone call?This can show you how to get your girlfriend back, there is some time to actually do something.Finally, tell her that you need to figure out just how important you mean every 2 weeks you and you bring out these factors and how effective they can cheer you up and whether you still care for her.

It will also realise that both of them are not hard to please them.Also some things without fully understanding why they are forever developing and evolving.My first tip is, keep the family together, work through our problems.But finding a good thing over and then lived happily until one of the specific reasons at play, in the letter without even looking at someone who sits down to the final decision to come back.If she has, that's the way you feel that I am going to think?

Don't forget that you should still be together, reminding them of necessary, if dreary, tasks they are the most essential parts of this article we shall be looking for a reason why it's important that they are in a state of mind as more often than not the only one you come to the point that you aren't able to convince her to leave a second chance and a total wreck, they'll want to waist your time trying to get her ex back.The next step is to go with the white picket fence in the world to contact you for another chance, you're doing rather than wasting the time and distance, still others are consumed by irreconcilable differences.Be sure to have it the other person, which leads to not working and doing those special things together in the eyes of your computer.Over the years, guys have chased after different women trying to keep you from making any behavioral or philosophical changes you will realise just how much you cared for her?You realize only after getting my ex had a break up, I can give you a huge turn off.

What Is The Best Way To Get Your Ex Back

#How Can I Win My Ex Boyfriend S Heart Back Surprising Tips #My Ex Wants Me Back Yahoo

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bettydgunter90 · 5 years ago

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10 Incredible Audiobooks That Will Revolutionize Your Life

I’ve always enjoyed the inspiration and entertainment that comes from a great book.

The problem is, I rarely have time to sit down and devote hours of my undivided attention to reading books. My life is just too busy (or so I tell myself).

Fortunately, people in my predicament have another option: audiobooks.

Audiobooks are a great way to consume all the same content from a book while getting other stuff done.

Whether you listen while you exercise, drive to work or mow the lawn, audiobooks are the perfect substitute for people (like me) who would rather read through their ears instead of their eyes.

The Problem

Unfortunately, audiobooks have their own set of issues. They aren’t all created equal.

Some audiobooks have poor production quality.

Some are narrated by incredibly monotonous or annoying voices.

Some narrators have absurdly thick accents or speaking patterns that detract from the message.

Not to mention, some audiobooks are WAY too long (most likely because the original book is long). Not everyone has 100+ hours to listen to a single audiobook!

A few of my favorite books were nearly destroyed when I listened to a poorly executed audiobook rendition of the exact same material. It’s not easy to judge the quality of an audiobook when you only have a 30-second preview to go by.

The Best Audiobooks I’ve Heard

Since I’ve listened to A LOT of audiobooks in my time (it’s pretty much the only way I read anything these days), I wanted to let you know about some of my favorites.

I thought these audiobooks were extremely well done and actually enhanced the original text by adding emotion, inflection, emphasis and even music in some well thought out places.

Some of these audiobooks were so good, I’ve found myself listening to them again and again, just because they delivered such a rich, enjoyable experience.

Curious to know what they are? I’ll list them out for you below…

1. Crucial Conversations

Crucial Conversations is that several people have recommended to me over the past decade.

When I finally gave it a listen, I was blown away by how much value they crammed into 6 short hours. It was incredible!

There isn’t anything fancy about how this audiobook was recorded or produced… it’s pretty basic, actually.

What makes it so good? The narrator and co-author, Joseph Grenny, does a superb job of reading clearly, using good vocal tonality in his voice (an important part of explaining how to have a crucial conversation) and he’s just an overall easy person to listen to.

Aside from the delivery, this is one of the most intensely useful audiobooks I’ve ever listened to – I’m really not kidding. I actually found it cumbersome to listen while driving or working out, because I had to hit “pause” every 2 – 3 minutes so I could take notes.

At one point, I actually pulled my car to the side of the road so I could take notes. It was that good.

The advice in this book works and it’s not just theory. There was plenty of real-life application that made it directly useful in many aspects of my life. If you haven’t given this one a listen, I urge you to get it on your shortlist of audiobooks to hear!

2. Profit First

I’ve never met anyone who read Profit First and wasn’t impressed by it.

Aside from the simple-but-ingenious business budgeting concepts explained in this book (it’s sort of like Dave Ramsey’s envelope system, but for business owners), I thoroughly enjoyed how the narrator and author, Mike Michalowicz got through the content.

He doesn’t just read the original manuscript word-for-word, he goes “off script” many times throughout the book to add further clarification, give real-life examples and help flesh out the material in ways that are much more interesting and informative for the listener.

This is something 95% of audiobooks don’t do, which baffles me. I appreciated how this author took special care to package the content so it was more palatable to those who were listening rather than reading.

And I’ll mention again, the content of this book is amazing. Whether you’re an accounting professional or someone who rarely looks at the numbers, you will walk away with some great new insights from what this book has to share.

3. Can’t Hurt Me

David Goggins is well-acquainted with pain, suffering, trials, and challenges.

The difference is, he doesn’t run away from these things like most of us do. He leans into the pain and asks for more.

Some people might call it insanity, but I found it refreshing to hear about how he learned to revel in life’s difficulties and squeeze every last drop of strength and personal development out of it.

This audiobook for Can’t Hurt Me took a fascinating approach by splitting up the content into a mix of the original book, followed by a podcast-style interview between the author, David Goggins and the narrator, Adam Skolnick, at the end of each chapter.

It wasn’t just about hearing the story as it was originally written, but about getting a deeper insight into what went into the story and what lessons the listener should take away. I actually found the biggest lessons and takeaways came from the podcast interview portion (which wasn’t even part of the original book)!

This is one of those books you’ll actually get more out of by listening to it rather than reading it.

4. Building a Story Brand

If anyone knows how to write a good story, it’s Donald Miller.

One thing most good storytellers haven’t done is map out a clear framework by which anyone can tell a great story, and more importantly, how this framework can be used to vastly extend the reach of your business.

Another thing about Donald Miller is, he’s not just a great writer, he’s also a great speaker, and it shows in this audiobook. His delivery is clear, consistent and easy to listen to for all 4 hours and 56 minutes of this audiobook.

That’s another thing… I also appreciated how this entire book was delivered in less than 5 hours (even when playing at the normal, 1x speed). That’s an incredible amount of value that can be digested relatively quickly.

One of the first things I look at when considering an audiobook is how long it will take me to listen to it. When an audiobook is over 10 hours long… that’s a lot of time to commit to! Remember, a book isn’t just costing you money, it’s costing you time (and to some people, their time is worth a lot). When a book can deliver just as much value in a shorter time span, that’s a BIG plus in my book.

5. Thou Shall Prosper

This audiobook is one of the longer ones on this list, clocking in at nearly 18 hours, but believe me, this thing is PACKED with wisdom from beginning-to-end.

In Thou Shall Prosper (narrated by A.C. Fellner), Rabbi Daniel Lapin gives a very comprehensive overview on what he calls “The 10 Commandments of Making Money” and dispels a lot of the common assumptions and misconceptions modern-day people have about the how to make money, the value that businesses provide for the world and how to reframe the whole thought process behind financial prosperity.

For a lot of people, I think this book can provide a significant paradigm shift and a healthier understanding of what entrepreneurs and business owners play in the greater good of the world. I had several “Aha!” moments as I listened to this one and I found the whole audio presentation to be very easy to listen to, as it kept my attention from start to finish – and for an audiobook this long, that’s saying something!

6. Pitch Anything

This is some of the best information I’ve ever read on human psychology, motivation and negotiation all wrapped into one audiobook.

Pitch Anything, written and narrated by Oren Klaff lays out a formula that is highly effective when selling, which is something we all have to do, whether we like it or not.

But the lessons in this book apply to more than just the topic of “selling stuff” – it’s really a book on human psychology and how to be persuasive.

This book has helped me to be FAR more effective in my interactions with other people and it can help you too.

I thought the audiobook was executed very well and Oren does a good job of keeping the message entertaining and easy to listen to.

7. The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck

The title of this book is obviously intended to grab your attention, and whether you’re a fan of the approach, I think there’s a lot of wisdom to be gleaned from this one.

Mark Manson did a masterful job of using many different stories and examples to explain his underlying points.

One of my big takeaways moments from this book was the fact that not everyone shares the same values.

While this should be obvious, it’s not something I ever paid much attention to. Likewise, I don’t think most people recognize the fact that other people have different views and ideas about matters in life.

When I took time to let this sink in, it changed a lot about how I view the world and other people, particularly those who don’t care about the same things I do. It helped me make a lot more sense of people I never would’ve understood otherwise.

Considering how hilariously profane this book is (be ready for it), it gets pretty deep, and it does so without getting overly-philosophical to the point that the average person won’t be able to grasp the concepts.

I also thought the narrator, Roger Wayne did a great job of delivering the text in a way that was fun and easy-to-listen. Again, I also appreciated the relatively short listening time, coming in at just over 5 hours.

8. Thinking In Bets

This book covers some fascinating concepts that are incredibly relevant to everyone’s life, especially entrepreneurs.

In this audiobook (narrated superbly by the author), Annie Duke elaborates on the misconception that bad results always come from bad decisions. The truth is, there are plenty of examples where good results came from bad decisions, and bad results came from good decisions.

This was something I learned from my friend Billy Murphy years ago (also a professional poker player). In many of life’s biggest decisions, there are ways to mathematically quantify which decisions are most likely to lead to the desired outcome. Even if the results don’t turn out as desired, that doesn’t mean a decision was a bad one.

When I grasped this concept, it gave me a lot of comfort in making sound decisions without having all the information (something we all have to do every day) and realizing that when a path is thoroughly analyzed on the front end, there is no shame in results that are turn out to be wildly unlucky.

9. Linchpin

Linchpin is one of those perspective-changing pieces of work that makes you look at your life and career path in a whole new light. Sometimes the biggest revelations we have in life are actually pretty obvious, but we still need someone to spell it out for us, and that’s exactly what Seth Godin does in this book (narrated by the author).

I think this book is important because it touches on some of the core truths that all working professionals need to be well-aware of – the importance of being an indispensable and providing value on a level that makes you irreplaceable because of the unique qualities that only you can bring to the table.

When I started putting this mentality to work, my life changed forever (and yours can too).

10. The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People

This is one of those books that can alter your perspective on a lot of things (at least, it did for me).

Stephen Covey wrote (and narrated) this masterpiece over a quarter-century ago and it still leaves a lasting impression on just about everyone who reads it.

The subject matter of this book isn’t so much related to “real estate investing” as it is a solid guidebook for living.

If you ever have the chance, I would strongly encourage you to pick this one up and absorb what it has to say. You’ll be glad you did!

The post 10 Incredible Audiobooks That Will Revolutionize Your Life appeared first on REtipster.

from Real Estate Tips https://retipster.com/bestaudiobooks/

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onireview · 6 years ago

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Engagermate Review – NO.1 Instagram Marketing Tool!

Engagermate Review – Introduction

Instagram is the universes quickest developing informal community and is what is going to make your bank, it’s as basic as that. Such a large number of advertisers began to commit to experience contenders’ devotees, hashtags and areas and start to pursue, as, inbox and connect with them. They saw moment results and pages began to get individuals returning and tailing them and preferring their substance immediately.

In any case, doing this physically was depleting and also tedious, People essentially didn’t have room schedule-wise to like several photographs 60 minutes, pursue 500 individuals every day, all in the endeavor that they trust different clients tail them back and after that need to unfollow those individuals in the event that they are not intrigued while maintaining a full-time business

What will happen if I tell you that all these long-lasting tasks were all done for you by one simple tool? YES – what if all you had to do was put this item into your marketing toolbox and enjoy the ride?

Introducing “Engagermate” – a fresh-out-of-the-box module that does all the process of engaging Instagram potential users for you in only 60 minutes! This is a first-to-market tool that simply works. Since you are here, you are in a very fortunate position. Let’s get started, shall we?

Engagermate Rating!!

Price

Features

Support

Easy To Use

4.5

Summary

The advantages I like with this software - Interact with Instagram users through days and nights - Auto sending a direct message and welcome message to accounts - Mobile-friendly - Reasonable price and no extra fee to run - Have organic growth - Easy to Install and use - Make automatic growth notifications - Artificial Intelligence learning - Have VIP Facebook group to connect with other Engagermaters

Learn More...

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Engagermate Review – Overview

Vendor: Luke Maguire

Product: Engagermate

Launch date: 2019 – May – 01

Launch time: 9:00 EDT

Front-end Price: $67

Salepage: https://www.engagermate.com/

Niche: Social Software

What is Engagermate?

Engagermate is the one-and-only device that will open the conduits to organic traffic for you and will have your Instagram account engaging every single day. Within an hour, this powerful tool is going to make a huge difference for you.

The Author – Luke Maguire

Luke Maguire is the creator of Engagermate. This Australian is well-known for his accent, extreme sales videos and No.1 social media software seller of all time that has allowed many people to create multiple incomes.

Since he is a famous vendor of JVZoo as well as WarriorPlus, you can find the information about him as well as his innovative items from the Internet such as CTOSUITE, Storymate, Social Autobots, Live Leap, Instamate 2.0, and so much more. If you can, try some products he created, they will not make you disappointed.

His Facebook profile is here and his email is [email protected] in case you have any question to ask.

Features and Benefits

It’s time for us to discover the features of Engagermate. I think this is the part you care about most in this review.

Innovative Optimizing Module

Engagermate comes in a utilized design that tracks precisely where your commitment from to give you the precise regions to focus on your preferences and pursues from the interests and pages you have entered. This guarantees you just draw in with clients who are well on the way to change over.

Integrated Mobile Application

Unlike any other bot using “white hat” method, Engagermate integrates with Instagram via popular applications such as Android and iPhone before connecting to our cloud system to accelerate the possibility of engagement. Not to mention, users can actively edit and display their commitments and display real-time statistics about their progress.

Directly Informed Report

Engagermate gives you the opportunity to check the live content of your interaction, view and follow your ROI, your growth, where your audience is and print reports from your market. In addition, it can give you a quick snapshot of real life in that audience, what are their benefits and how can you use it in other marketing efforts as well.

Multiple Ways to Connect

The special thing in this software is that you have a lot of ways to interact with the right objects, through hashtags, profiles or locations.

Stop following automatically

Don’t forget the instagram limit of 7500 people you can follow. This feature will help you do that. It’s no longer automatically followed for you.

Interacts with Instagram

You simply don’t need to know about a previous person. The software will automatically interact like a real user, like contents, follow or unfollow. Like based on hashtags.

Leverage your results

The results from hashtags, profiles, or locations. Taking advantage of this and provide a method for your marketing campaigns.

Send Automatic Messages

This allows you to automatically send a welcome message at the moment you allow. The content it can be about you, about your business information or about your products. etc..

Interact with potential customers only

If you don’t want to follow and enjoy company profiles, just activate the commercial filter. So you can attract more profiles of potential customers.

How Does It Work?

I consider the process of using Engagermate is quite easy for everyone even newbies to use. Videos speak louder than words, right? Now you can check it through quick demo video by Luke Maguire, the creator of Engagermate, to know how to use it yourself since it is too much it can do to be shown in my Engagermate review.

Engagermate Software Demo

Who Should You Buy It?

If you are looking for a product that can automate the entire process and have your Instagram account like, follow, inbox and engage with your target market 24/7, Engagermate is your best choice. I suggest this high-quality product for those people who are:

Instagram Marketers

Online Business Owners

Product Promoters

Digital Marketers

Social Media Marketers

Advantages and Disadvantages

Pros

Interact with Instagram users through days and nights

Auto sending a direct message and welcome message to accounts

Mobile-friendly

Reasonable price and no extra fee to run

Have organic growth

Easy to Install and use

Make automatic growth notifications

Artificial Intelligence learning

Have VIP Facebook group to connect with other Engagermaters

Cons

Up to now, I have not found out any disadvantages related effectiveness of Engagermate yet.

Price and Evaluation

From now on, you can start growing your following and sending traffic to your sites for free with only $67 if you choose to buy Engagermate. This is the price you have to pay to own this item in the launch days. However, this price will not stay there waiting for you to act. After only a few hours, it will change forever. Therefore, you should take action as soon as possible to get the highest discount.

Again, the price of it is currently $67 only. I highly recommend you to buy the product that many people expect to be next potential Best Seller. Thus, let’s get to its official page and purchase it after reading my Engagermate review. If you have a Paypal, Visa, or MasterCard, you can buy it online now.

In the first 14 days, if you are not keen on the software for whatever reason or want to have your money back, you will have it with the 100% money back guarantee. To finish this off, on the off chance that you utilize this product for 60 days, work with our help group and Luke actually and still don’t get any outcomes, you will have your money back double. You won’t see this arrangement from any advertiser ever.

Conclusion

You have finally reached the bottom line of my Engagermate Review! Thank you so much for taking the time to follow my review. I hope that you have found this tool informative and helpful. As an experienced person, I highly recommend you to give it a try. Hopefully, you will make a wise decision and have the solution for your Instagram marketing business. Goodbye and see you later!

The post Engagermate Review – NO.1 Instagram Marketing Tool! appeared first on OniReview.

#Reviews

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lilygraceuniverse · 6 years ago

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Norton 360 Deluxe

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euroman1945-blog · 7 years ago

Text

The Daily Tulip

The Daily Tulip – News From Around The World

Sunday 26th August 2018

Good Morning Gentle Reader…. Left Sandra sleeping soundly in bed, and even Bella seemed to understand that we needed to be quiet, we left the house and wandered with no particular intent to the ocean, which was gently lapping against the sand….I sat on the sand and had a reflective moment as Bella sniffed her way along the sea shore… Looking south, I see the Rif Mountains in Africa, and just above the horizon, Jupiter in all its glory, this month we see the rise and set of this very large planet, we can also see all of the other planets Mars, Venus, Saturn, Pluto Neptune and Uranus, but of course you need a telescope to see some of them, reflective star gazing moment over, we turn for home, I enjoyed having you on the walk this morning, we shall have to do it again…

CHINESE TOURISTS FLOCK TO NORTH YORKSHIRE CHIPPY….A fish and chip shop in North Yorkshire has translated its menu into Mandarin and Cantonese to cope with an influx of Chinese tourists. Scotts Fish and Chips near York has seen coachloads of visitors wanting to try the traditional dish. The passion for the chippy has been put down to the fish and chips Chinese president Xi Jinping shared with then Prime Minister David Cameron in 2015. Manager Roxy Vasai said more than 100 Chinese tourists were visiting a week. Staff said dining at the chippy was a real occasion for the visitors, with many taking photographs with employees both inside and outside the restaurant on the A64 at Bilbrough Top. Ms Vasai said: "We look out for a coach and when they're coming we shout 'they're here, there are 20, 30, 40, let's make it ready for them'. "We are very impressed by the Chinese tourists. They are very friendly, smiley and happy." As well as translating the menu, the restaurant has launched a website and a messaging app on one of China's most popular social media platforms to promote the business. Will Zhuang, ambassador for Make It York, an organisation which promotes the city, said many Chinese visitors had been influenced by their president sampling a fish and chip supper during his visit to the UK in 2015. He added that because of this many Chinese tour operators had added the "fish and chip experience" to their itineraries. York is already a popular destination for tourists from East Asia, with China estimated to be the city's second largest overseas market.

BOY FINED £500 FOR KICKING DOG TO DEATH IN ST IVES…. A 15-year-old boy has been fined £500 for punching and kicking a "much-loved" pet dog to death. The boy, who cannot be named, was 14 when the "prolonged attack" happened in St Ives, Cornwall on 31 October. He was found guilty of causing unnecessary suffering to a protected animal last month after a two-day trial. The teenager has been banned from keeping animals for five years and ordered to pay £500 compensation. In sentencing, Justice Diana Baker said the dog, Teddy, suffered a fractured skull and multiple blunt force trauma injuries to his head, neck and torso resulting in internal bleeding. Addressing the boy, she said domestic violence has "severely affected" his emotional wellbeing. "You are a young man who has lived with domestic violence for a long time," she added. "Domestic violence under the influence of alcohol that has severely affected your emotional wellbeing and ability to deal with stressful situations." A victim impact statement from Teddy's owner Jacqueline Stevens, 71, was read to the court. She explained how she had hand-reared the Staffordshire bull terrier and kept him for nine years. "My life has been ripped apart and has been changed forever," she said. She added that she now "dreads going to St Ives" due to the "sad associations and memories". The incident happened when the dog held down a pet terrier belonging to the family of the convicted boy who had a "total loss of control", the court heard. The boy was sentenced to an 18-month rehabilitation order with 18 months of supervision. He was also given an eight-week curfew. The £500 fine will be paid by his mother at a rate of £50 a week. The boy will not be allowed to apply for the ban on him keeping animals to be lifted for the next three years. However, the court heard the family would be able to keep their pet terrier.

ILLEGAL MAJORCA TURTLE FARM SHUT DOWN BY POLICE…. Europe's biggest illegal turtle and tortoise farm has been shut down on the Spanish island of Majorca, police say. Civil Guard officers say they rescued 1,100 animals from a farm near Llucmajor in the south of the island, many of them endangered. The protected species were reportedly kept in poor conditions on the site. Two German men were arrested on suspicion of running the farm, as well as a Spanish pet shop owner in Barcelona. The three suspects face charges of money laundering and trafficking an endangered species. Authorities said the farm was set up to breed turtles on an industrial scale, while the pet shop owner "laundered" the species bred there for sale. Three other people, a Spaniard and two Germans, are also under investigation. Many turtle and tortoise species are endangered. The animals are killed for their skin, shells and meat, and some consider their eggs to be a delicacy. Several of those turtles rescued in Majorca came from the 14 most threatened species, including the Chinese red-necked turtle, Madagascar radiated tortoise, and the Vietnamese pond turtle. Officers say they also saved 750 eggs in the operation. The investigation began in February 2017 after authorities found a shipment of several protected turtle species at Palma airport. Documents did not match the animals, and so they were seized - eventually leading police to the Llucmajor site.

ARGENTINA CREMATORIUM BURNS RUSSIAN COCAINE HAUL…. Russia and Argentina have used a crematorium in Buenos Aires to burn 389kg (858 pounds) of cocaine seized in a drugs bust at the Russian embassy. The total haul of cocaine destroyed was estimated to be worth €80m (£72m; $93m). A former embassy caretaker and an Argentine policeman are among six people held in both countries. The burning marks the end of a long-running police operation that wouldn't disgrace a crime best-seller. In 2016, the ex Russian ambassador alerted Argentine officials to 12 suitcases found hidden in an embassy annex. The problem? They were packed full of drugs. After the tip-off, Argentine police got into the room with an embassy key in the dead of night, and replaced the cocaine with flour. They also tagged the cases with GPS tracking devices. The plan was to wait for the owners to collect their cases, then swoop. But police were in for a very long wait, as Argentine Security Minister Patricia Bullrich explained. "The operation took 14 months and at one point we thought that they wouldn't come for their cargo, that they realised that someone was under suspicion. But everything went well," she said, quoted by Russia's Tass news agency. A year later, the cases arrived in Moscow, and arrests followed. It is still unclear why the suspects waited so long to move the drugs. Russian Ambassador Dmitry Feoktistov and Ms Bullrich took part in the incineration on Tuesday. The alleged ringleader of the smuggling gang is Andrei Kovalchuk, who was arrested in Germany and extradited to Russia in July. Russian media name the other accused Russians as Vladimir Kalmykov, Ishtimir Khudzhamov, and Ali Abyanov. Authorities suspect that Mr Kovalchuk hired Mr Abyanov to store the cocaine cargo in the school attached to the embassy, and to organise its transfer to Russia. At the time Mr Abyanov was the embassy's caretaker. Russia's RBC news website says Mr Kalmykov and Mr Khudzhamov were arrested when they came to collect the cases at a Russian foreign ministry warehouse. The suspects have called the police operation a "provocation", and have said they were trying to export speciality coffee from Argentina.

THE BIG BANG THEORY FINAL SEASON TO END IN 2019…. US series The Big Bang Theory will air its final episode in 2019, ending one of the longest-running sitcoms in US history. The programme's 12th and final season will premiere on 24 September and is expected to conclude in May. Set in Pasadena, California, the series originally focused on two physicists and their aspiring actress neighbour. The Big Bang Theory has attracted more than 18 million viewers every year since its sixth season aired in 2012. It reportedly averaged 18.6 million viewers per episode in its 11th season, more than any other show on US television. The production teams and CBS said in a joint statement they were "forever grateful" to the fans. "We, along with the cast, writers and crew, are extremely appreciative of the show's success and aim to deliver a final season, and series finale, that will bring The Big Bang Theory to an epic creative close," it read. The series has won seven Emmys from 46 nominations, including four Outstanding Lead Actor wins for Jim Parsons, who plays the socially inept character Sheldon Cooper.

Well Gentle Reader I hope you enjoyed our look at the news from around the world this, morning… …

Our Tulips today are rather lovely... what do you think?

A Sincere Thank You for your company and Thank You for your likes and comments I love them and always try to reply, so please keep them coming, it's always good fun, As is my custom, I will go and get myself another mug of "Colombian" Coffee and wish you a safe Sunday 26th August 2018 from my home on the southern coast of Spain, where the blue waters of the Alboran Sea washes the coast of Africa and Europe and the smell of the night blooming Jasmine and Honeysuckle fills the air…and a crazy old guy and his dog Bella go out for a walk at 4:00 am…on the streets of Estepona…

All good stuff....But remember it’s a dangerous world we live in

Be safe out there…

Robert McAngus #Spain #Africa #Stars #Bella #Sandra

#robertmcangus #robert mcangus #spain #tulips #news #blog #travel

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technicalsolutions88 · 7 years ago

Link

[Sponsor message]

Hey KIDS!

[Sponsor message]

[Boztank pls insert ‘hey kids’ GIF here]

[Sponsor message]

Exciting News!

First up: Exciting news! We’re going to be migrating the Club Newsletter to a new format from next month that will be delivered in person! In virtual reality! This means you’ll be able to feel like I’m sitting right next to you saying this stuff right in your face instead of just passively reading it off a screen and maybe getting distracted by other less important stuff. Myself and your Totally Lost Boys (TLB) Club Committee are so excited that we can bring you this amazing experience before any other Youth Club in the world! #awesome

Here’s a taster from a VR trip I took recently to check out the totally awful devastation in Puerto Rico:

Now you’re probably asking how can we bring this exciting new technology to your friendly neighborhood Youth Club, right?! I’m pleased to say that the 2,500% increase in Newsletter Sponsor Messages over the past ~two months has really helped bulk up the Club Money Pool. Rest assured, we’re ploughing all these revenues into product development to continue to make BH&FA YC the most innovative Youth Club on Planet Earth!

Of course we don’t want the Club to fall behind Lindenwood or Farm Hills YC either, which — as we’ve told you in recent Newsletters — have been busy developing ‘innovative’ newsletter solutions of their own. (I say ‘innovative’ but we all know the YC of MZ Yours Truly is the real innovator around these hills!!) But — and it’s a BIG ONE kids! — if the Club Committee were to allow another club to get ahead of BH&FA (brisket forbid!!!), say by offering better Member facilities, then we’d risk Membership declining — instead of benefiting from the continued year-on-year growth that _we_all_enjoy_. It would also mean less money for the Club Treasurer to spend on buying up neighborhood housing to knock down in order to expand the size of the Clubhouse and keep you all entertained right here on campus! And you really don’t want to be bored do you?! (NB: The date for opening the infinity pool waterpark is still tbc. We found a leak on several floors and given there’s a risk of electrical fire death if we get this wrong it’s taking a little longer than hoped.)

Of course the impending mandatory migration to VR Newsletters also means we’ll be able to bring you more immersive Newsletter Sponsor Messages in future! YAY! Which will be great for the Club Money Pool too. So double YAY!

[Sponsor message]

[Oculus VR promo]

[Sponsor message]

Of course we know that not everyone in Our Community has had a chance to purchase our great Oculus Rift VR headset yet :( Only 0.3% of you have done so! :((( Even though we’ve made sure to tell you all about how great it is for, like, the past several years. (You’ll remember we also ran VR Summer Club Camp last year in Black Chasm Cave. However attendance averaged <1% — and there was that unfortunate incident with the toxic frog — so your Club Committee knows it has a lot more work to do!). So, after a long talk at our last #awesome TLB Brisket Cook-OutMZ I’m really excited to announce an amazing Discount for Club Members that have shown the most dedication to Our Community over the years! This means all of you will very soon enjoy the benefits of Oculus VR! Zero excuses!

[Sponsor message]

[Oculus VR promo]

[Sponsor message]

(NB: If you’re wondering how exactly we’ll be calculating personalized Oculus discounts we can tell you it involves a proprietary formula that Your Club Committee developed based on your lifelong Participation & Attendance Metrics (PAM). We can’t say too much, in case the formula were to be maliciously leaked to Lindenwood — or even, brisket forbid! Staumbaugh Heller!!! — (NBNB: For a reminder about penalties for leaking proprietary Club Information see the base of this newsletter; but, tl;dr, don’t do it!!! Remember the Club Motto: ‘Speak Don’t leak!’).

What we CAN tell you is we’ve been busy number-crunching PAM for the past several years, and those Club Members who have shown not just a consistent commitment to Our Community (which is mandatory) but who have shared their increasing enthusiasm for the Club Program (which Your TLB obviously works 24/7 to bring you!) will be given the biggest discounts — of up to 6.8%! Everyone else will get a smaller discount (based on your unique PAM-based relationship with the Club Program). So basically you only have yourselves to blame if you get offered a discount of sub-0.5%. (And don’t forget we’ll be sharing PAM scores with parents/guardians at the upcoming mandatory BH&FA Club Regulations Awareness Program.)

As you know, Membership of the Club is dependent upon reading Our Newsletter — which includes all Our Sponsor Messages. (Our Sponsors wouldn’t pay us if you didn’t read their messages now would they!?!) So unfortunately Your Club Committee is prepared to say goodbye to any Members who aren’t able to access the Newsletter in future. (NB: Saying you don’t have a VR headset will absolutely not be an acceptable excuse!!! We are, however, open to suggestions for expanding cross-platform support if Members have already bought other VR headsets. (Although we might question your loyalty to BH&FA YC if you do that!!! ;)))

[Sponsor message]

[Oculus VR promo]

[Sponsor message]

Your Awesome TLB Club Committee Update!

So what’s on the boys’ discussion agenda this week Mark!?!

[Boztank pls insert fun ‘yakety-yak’ GIF here]

Mmmmmm! Just getting ready for some more crispy brisket!

[Sponsor message]

Okay, time for the customary run down of Important Issues Your TLB is really busy managing around the BBQ while you guys kick back and do wtf you like on campus… Mmm brisket! #Brisket #CookOut #Meat #Mmmm

Participation & Engagement Metrics — as you should really know by now Your Committee’s ‘prime directive’ is 100% attendance & program engagement at all times! PAM! PAM! So frankly you guys are always a total disappointment :( BUT! — this week Boztank said he’s going to bring some of his special Ideas Envelopes for us to push around while we’re BBQing brisket — so consider yourselves totally warned!!!! PAM! PAM!

Takeover of Woodside Heights YC — yes we are still finalizing our takeover of Woodside Heights. But we now expect members to be migrated to BH&FA by 06:00 on Saturday 4 at the very latest. Issues we have encountered with the migration include some outgoing Woodside members objecting to the razing of their Clubhouse and the mandatory requirement to travel to BH&FA’s campus because it’s so much further away from where they live and their moms and pops are at work so can’t always taxi them over. However we have pointed out that the facilities we offer here are by far superior. Sheryl has been working super hard (including on Saturdays) to get the message to Woodside parents that their kids will absolutely have the best development opportunities at BH&FA. To ease the transition we have also decided to offer Uber coupons (valid: Tuesday afternoons, for two weeks of August) and some pretty substantial Oculus discounts — although both are provisional on the new recruits completing a Club Reorientation Attendance Probation period of no less than 180 months (achieving weekly PAM average of 95.8%). (So if you hear them say ‘Oh CRAP’ you’ll know why.) We’ll be discussing ideas for hazing the newbs in a forthcoming Newsletter. So stay tuned! And get ready to burn all that Woodside Heights smoke out of em!!!

Parental Concern — unfortunately we have been informed that a few responsible adults have been expressing concern over what Members might have been exposed to via the Club Program. We are investigating to determine whether there are any identifiable issues of concern, and so far have compiled a list of about ~2,500,000 items for possible follow-up — including reports of screenings of human beheadings in the cinema; animal torture in the yard; misogynistic graffiti all over the place; human trafficking; and even bomb-making classes and/or fascist memorabilia being distributed by a small number of members (!!!). While some of this stuff does sound kind of alarming, in truth we’re generally pretty stoked about the rich diversity of expression that’s evidently thriving within Our Community. Although we are still investigating to determine whether there are any specific issues we need to follow up on — like, in case we need to add an additional rule to our strict ‘Zero Nudity (no, not even fine art or war reportage nudes you sick f—)’ Club Policy. We’ll keep you posted if we decide to amend the Charter. But for now we just ask that you carry on being your richly expressive selves. (As we like to say on the Committee: ‘If you feel it, f—ing say it!!!!’)

Member Behavior — it has also come to our attention that a small number of Members have been getting increasingly loud and disruptive on campus. However, in the BH&FA YC Founding Charter, we do make it very clear that any attempts to curtail or moderate freedom of expression will _not_be _at_all_ tolerated_. We therefore want to reassure all Club Members that when you are here, under our watchful care, you can say anything at all you want to anyone you fancy — no matter how horribly wrong or hurtful it might be. (As the TLB like to say at the start of a Cook-Out when we’re fighting over whose turn it is to poke the fire: ‘Sticks & stones will break your bones but names can never hurt you!’). That said, we have noticed an uptick in some very nasty name calling; blatantly false and/or ridiculous rumors (no, my parents were not lizards!!!); and people trying to start *actual* fights and/or fires during Club Events. One particularly unruly member — who shall remain nameless (but rest assured We Know Who You Are!!! NB: We discuss this person’s behavior in more detail below, in our Newsletter ‘Hard Issue of The Day’ — and who, let it be known, we also know has a record of threatening behavior outside the Club (because Sheryl read about it in the Menlo Park Tribune)), has been passing off some very ‘creative fictions’ on campus — we suspect as a sort of post-modern art project. But still, we’re keeping an eye out. For example, Adam says he’s seen instances of this person telling others in Our Community that Members’ dead relations didn’t really exist at all, and, furthermore, that corpses laid out in the morgue were just so-called ‘crisis actors’ paid by kids’ parents to pretend to like them. While we’re admittedly impressed with the avant-garde creativity of this particular Member, we recognize that they have also been saying a lot of other absolute tosh — like that flu shots give you cancer or make you gay or turn you into a toxic frog. And that President Trump is the literal lovechild of a Republican Senator (who we’re not naming for libel reasons) and the Angel Gabriel. Like, frankly speaking, we’ve lost track of the amount of garbage this particular Member has been spouting but that’s 100% okay because keeping track of how Members freely expressing themselves is totally not our job at all. We’re just here to make sure the BH&FA campus is massive enough to house all the billions of Members that now make up our richly diverse Community — which also means making sure Our Club Charter enshrines an absolute right to be an utter f— to anyone you please. Kids, we really can’t start cherry picking or where would it end?! The bottom line is that here at BH&FA YC, Your Committee is proud to preside over a marketplace of brainfarts of every possible flavor, toxic or otherwise. So we would like to take this opportunity to remind Members about our very firm *non-discrimination policy* — of welcoming absolutely anyone as a Member, no matter how disgusting your personal views. (And, sheesh, you kids really do have some pretty icky stuff on your mind sometimes!!!) Your Committee would also like to suggest all Members reread Boztank’s 2009 addendum to the Club Charter (entitled: ‘Why you kids need to learn to suck it up’). The TLBs never let anything as non-formulaic as emotional distress get in the way of the campus expansion roadmap. After all, we’ve got a mission to bring the benefits of BH&FA to every person (*13 years or older*) ON THE PLANET! (Shoot for 100% or kill everyone trying!!! — as we like to joke around the BBQ! Or as Boztank’s knuckle tattoo actually reads: ‘We grow PAM, period.’ So, as ever, eyes on the bigger prize, kids.)

Brisket cook out! — yes! It’s back by popular demand! This time I will personally be bringing a small herd of live Dexter cows on campus and everyone will watch while I tear them apart with my bare hands. Chunks of brisket will be distributed according to the standard Club Formula and each Member will be responsible for cooking their own chunk (or not!). But please no squabbling over the meat!!! And definitely no pushing! You can shout insults at each other in the hopes of being able to distract another Member and grab yourself a tastier chunk but do please keep acts of physical aggression *off campus*. It’s a waste of energy anyways as everyone will definitely get some brisket, even if not everyone can get the delicious deep pectoral I will personally be chowing down on. (It is, however, inevitable that some members will have to wait longer than others to get some meat. But given Our Community is now 2.5BN Members strong & counting! — suck that up Staumbaugh Heller!!! >:-) — we absolutely must have a formula to manage the distribution of the Club Program, fair or otherwise. NB: Having a formula is the important bit, kids. As your parents should tell you, that’s called ‘Leadership’.)

Proposal to livestream the urinals — as part of our ‘Next-Gen YC 2.0 Moving Fwd Brainfart Sessions 2018 Summer Season Sponsored by Y Combinator’ Boztank suggested the (IMO) pretty wild idea of putting a livestreaming unit in the urinals (!) — pointing down at the pee stream. He thinks it could be a good idea to collect yet another data-point on top of the ~hundreds of thousands we already record per Member for some interesting new engagement metric that we haven’t bothered to think of yet. We’ll let you know at least a day in advance if we decide to move forward with this plan. (NB: We’re still discussing whether it’s a good idea to livestream the girls’ toilets. Or we might just unilaterally replace all Club loos with unisex urinals. tbc). tbh the urinal idea was a lot better than Boz’s other suggestion which was a livestreamed ‘loudest fart’ competition. We might revisit that next fall, for our next Camp Cook-Out

Committee ‘Diversity’ — we are aware that some Members are continuing to complain about the lack of so-called ‘diversity’ on the TLB Committee. However we would point out we are a truly open-minded bunch of — yes, okay, sure, whatevs — entirely white guys but who are nonetheless willing to entertain the wild and crazy notion that there’s no box at all to think inside of. So, frankly, we don’t understand what your problem is. Also we’re not *all* guys — that’s what Sheryl’s here for

‘Leadership elections’ — it has also come to our attention that a very small number of Club Members have been spreading some very malicious, gossipy and totally fake rumors claiming the Club Charter is going to be rewritten to create fixed leadership terms and allow for future Leader Elections. I personally want to make it very, VERY clear that this is 100% FAKE NEWS. Your Committee will not be discussing any changes to the Committee’s structure at all. At any point. Ever. Period.

Under-13s YC — a brief update on the amazing traction we’re seeing for our ‘Horizon Newborn’ under-13s YC which continues to deliver major wins for BH&FA by onboarding all your siblings from the moment of birth to get them prepped & primed for life in the excitingly breakneck ‘fast-lane’ here on the 13+ campus (NB: Under-13 Memberships are automatically migrated to a full BH&FA YC Membership on your siblings’ thirteenth birthday; but remember, it’s your responsibility to let them know that if they want to collect any cuddly toys or other mementos they’ve accidentally left at the under-13s campus they will have to come here and sign the Membership form to release them from our Cryogenic Cold Storage Unit — where you should warn them they will otherwise languish for all eternity.) The committee is currently discussing whether to turn some of the old Woodside Heights YC campus into an Under-13s soft play foam-axe room. Alternatively we might turn it into a child-friendly sand & gravel mine. tbc

‘Odd’ sponsor message content — just a quick note on this last line item but we are aware of a few Members — and in fact the heads of some other Youth Clubs — raising concerns about things they’ve seen in our Sponsor Messages. We’re really not at sure what the issue/s of concern might be but we’re 100% sure that the notion of there being any problem at all with any of the stuff Our Sponsors are paying us to tell you is, like, a _totally_crazy_idea_. So, respectfully, we suggest you drop it. (NB: Also if you want to be able to keep swimming in the Club Money Pool you need to stop asking awkward stuff or we might have to close the pool to non-Committee Members.)

[Boztank pls insert ‘diving into the money pool’ GIF here]

[Sponsor message]

Hard Issue of the day :/

[Boztank pls insert ‘Mark frowny face’ GIF here]

Trouble With A Member

Sheryl making her really scary face (Photo by Justin Sullivan/Getty Images)

[sponsor message]

I know we’re almost out of time for this week’s newsletter but — following on from the note about ‘Member Behavior’ — I wanted to take a short moment to remind all Members of the Club’s foundational commitment to freedom of expression at all costs.

Kids, if your reading level is strong enough you will understand that “at all costs” means there is actually a cost (but don’t worry, we’re not going to start charging you Membership fees!!! it’s not that kind of really bad cost) to the freedoms we enjoy here on campus. And, well, sometimes that cost means being forced to be bullied in public by an angry mob or having to know that some Members are going around campus telling others that your cherished siblings were in fact just a figment of your imagination and the tragic death they suffered at the hands of a gun-touting maniac is just your totally delusional fancy. Yep, life really can be that shitty sometimes! We’re not gonna lie to you!

Regretfully, this ‘cost’ also means that members of Our Community who are Jewish may well also hear some pretty random and totally untrue stuff being spread about their community on campus. Like that time one of our Member Societies put on an ‘alternative’ WWII fictional reconstruction in the theatre. Now Your Committee doesn’t for a moment believe that anyone on campus could have viewed this work as anything other than the piece of avant garde theatre it very obviously was (IMHO). (I mean, maybe a few Members thought it was an historically accurate reconstruction but really it’s the job of the rest of you kids to make fun of anyone crazy enough to believe such stupid stuff!!!) We sure don’t believe that kind of absolute crap. But, nonetheless, we’re 100% comfortable with our decision to operate an entirely open-door Membership Policy because Your TLB is entirely incapable of discriminating. I mean, if we did, where on Earth would it end?!? So even if a Member of Our Community happens to be a renowned fantasist with a record of shouting FIRE in theaters, or even a paid up member of a neo-nazi group which routinely denies historically verified episodes of ethnic cleansing, that’s totally not our problem — it’s theirs! We just provide the world’s over-13s with a soapbox to express their unvarnished selves, globally. What Members choose to do with the tools we provide to help them get their message out there is obviously none of our business!! (Although it is literally BH&FA YC’s business but how else would we fund the platform in the first place?!)

In any case, fact-checking is for qualified professionals who probably work for newspapers. And we are totally not that at all!!! [Edit note from Adam: Are there any newspapers left? Didn’t the Tribune close when you made the Newsletter a daily?] (Supplementary note from Boztank: Remember kids, Mark himself is Jewish. So if he can suck up Holocaust denial, so can you! As my grandpops used to say: ‘If a piece of baloney hasn’t blown your face off you’re winning because you’re not dead yet so stop whining ya cream-faced loon!’)

Last word from Mark: As Boztank has been saying for, like, almost before some of you were born, speech that is “distasteful and ignorant” is nothing to be worried about so long as you kids are totally prepared to just laugh it off (NB: We might use laughing gas for this too — see the Newsletter endnote for more on what we’re cooking up in the Innovation Labs). And, well, frankly speaking, a lot more people really need to grow up and learn that maniacs spouting total rubbish are just an unfortunate distraction from great Sponsor Message content. In any case, fact-checking is expensive — far too expensive for the Club Treasurer’s tastes!!

So, to wrap up, Your Committee wants to make it totally plain we’re 110% here to entertain your behavior — unruly, unreasonable or just plain stupid! Whatever the f— you like! (Just plank safely, eh! There have been a number of deaths related to selfie challenges lately and we’d really prefer you enjoy rather than kill yourselves!!!) And while we may not always be 100% comfortable about the views you’re espousing on campus, or via Club equipment (NB: We have another shipment of 200M Wi-Fi enabled megaphones arriving Wednesday so get gargling!!), we want all Members to know we’re fully behind you being a totally offensive f—. Period.

(Actually, if you or your parents bothered to read the small print that’s literally what our Founding Charter says. In any case, like Sheryl says, there’s no way Our Community would keep growing like the weed it has if we hadn’t let in any shitty idea that wants to crawl in off the street and set up a stink, crawl in off the street and set up a stink. She also says that BH&FA YC is like a compost heap: All shits are 100% welcome here. And: If it stinks, the Club Treasurer winks!!)

All we ask is that you kids play nice together. Because, regretfully, the bill for Clubhouse security staff has been rising alarmingly over the past several months — as more bouncers have been needed around campus to break up several pretty serious brawls. And, well, we have already stuffed the Newsletter to bursting with Sponsor Messages. So we do have some concerns about the depth of the Club Money Pool, going forward. We’ll be bringing you a more fulsome update on Club Finances in a future Newsletter (tbc — Wehner).

[Sponsor message]

One more thing!

Exciting Announcement… of a beta test to a Clubhouse Rule change!

[Boztank pls insert ‘Vertigo scream’ GIF here — but fun not too scary version]

FIRE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yes! Shouting fire in the cinema is now provisionally acceptable!!!

[Boztank pls insert ‘Mark double thumbs up’ GIF here]

We wanted to end the Newsletter with a bit of good news, so the TLB has decided to beta test letting Members yell “fire” or even “bomb” during screenings in the cinema. Or actually anything you fancy (why not get creative — like, by yelling ‘argh! alien facehugger squirting acid on my eyeballs!!!’).

Why? Because the TLB has decided that having a space where Members’ speech is constrained — even as a narrow health & safety precaution — was just FAR too risky for Community cohesion. So we’re removing it and saying ya-boo-sucks to the consequences!

But don’t worry! We’re putting Community Safety first by taking precautions to keep all Members safe. (For example, we’ve covered all sharp edges in the cinema with foam padding to prevent anyone from being impaled during any panic-induced stampedes for the exit. But please remember there’s only one exit — so play safe kids! Definitely try not to crush each other to death!!! (NB: The Committee would like to take this opportunity to remind all Members that an ‘in the event of my death and/or horrific personal injury’ legal waiver was signed by all of you when you joined the Club so anyone with litigious parents should warn them not to get any ideas. (Yes, we know Colin is leaving but that’s not until after Thanksgiving.))

The Committee is also considering installing facial recognition technology in the cinema Wi-Fi-connected to laughing gas canisters which would be triggered in the event of anyone getting overly emotional in there. Our idea is that the gas could be automatically dispensed if any Members became hysterical, or, well, overly sad — thereby distracting people and preventing risky stampedes. (NB: This exciting Club innovation is still a work in progress but we’ll be sure to keep you updated on progress in future Newsletters. See our quasi-regular: ‘What’s Mark Cooking In The Lab’ section)

And that’s about all for today kids! Feel free to unstrap from your Oculus for now (for those of you special early adopters out there!) — and it’s adios amigos until tomorrow, when we’ll be right back in your face with more exciting BH&FA YC news!!!!

[Sponsor message]

[Oculus VR promo]

[Sponsor message]

Warning: Anyone caught leaking Club policies or information WILL HAVE THEIR MEMBERSHIP REVOKED AND BE BANNED FOR LIFE. Members contravening this rule will also be physically removed from campus (should they be here at the time) with zero opportunity to collect any personal belongings or say goodbye to any friends. Personal items will be piled in the yard and used as fuel for the next Club Cook-Out which will kick off with a competition to see which member can shout ‘Speak don’t leak!’ the loudest. One winner will be selected by Mark and given a bite of his prime brisket. Appeals are impossible.

Photo: paylessimages/iStock

[Oculus VR promo]

Still here?!?!?!?!!!!!!!!

Additional really important information from the committee: Uhhhh, Alex just told me that the Committee room where we keep the PAM records, going back to ~2005, was left unlocked for, like, the past decade(ish). A quick review of our CCTV records appears to show a small army of unknown persons coming and going pretty steadily over the years. It looks like these complete strangers were systematically helping themselves to PAM stored in the Club register. Some of these non-members appeared to have used the same Clubhouse parking lot as our ~3,000 regular campus data partners — arriving in vans painted with names like ‘N.Y. Data uLike UnLtd’ and ‘Other Peoples’ info 4 you Inc.’ — perhaps seeking to blend in beside the totally reputable businesses we’ve been sharing all your information with for, like, ever, in order to undertake their totally nefarious theft of your PAM. So we’re really sorry about that! Sheesh! If it helps Sheryl was super mad with us and didn’t speak to us for, like, a week after she found out :o( Anyway it’s totally fine now because we have put an actual lock on the door. Phew! (NB: Anyone wondering if they can claim competition for the Committee’s total failure to protect your privacy should refer to the Compensation Claims Waiver Clause in the Club Charter which everyone signed by default when they joined (by clicking a button saying ‘yes I want to collect my free Brisket hamburger! & register for Club Membership! & I’m super happy to let Mark be totally responsible for all my data’). Feel free to ring Colin for a cry if you like. Thanks! – Your MZ)

from Social – TechCrunch https://ift.tt/2AidFxI Original Content From: https://techcrunch.com

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