#THIS IS SO SOFT I NEEDED THIS FOR THEM SO BADLY

[shawtuzi]

request: ‘Can you please write a Toji x (blk)fem reader smut but she like one of those earthy girls with all the waist chains/beads and he like obsessed with her style and all the jewelry she wears. boho/earthy girls don’t get enough love.’

i hear you anon and i see you so here you go <333

ᡣ𐭩ྀིྀི₊ ⊹ cw include: drug usage (weed), oral m receiving, unprotected sex, riding, slight pussyjob, toji likes her sm so a lot of praise, PUSSYDRUNK TOJI!!!, sex outdoors (no one can see them hehe), creampie, an ‘i like you’ confession bc i’ve been watching a lot of rom coms lately///not proofread sorry :(

‘it’s a lot of lust not a lot of love’

you hummed along to the song as you made out with toji, your tongue swirling against his. your bracelets jangled against your wrist as you tugged on his soft locs, a low groan rumbling in his chest as you did so. “slow down toji, s’no rush,” you mumbled against his lips, teeth biting down the tiniest bit on his bottom lip.

toji tried to distract himself by toying with your waist beads, but it just wasn’t working. between the two blunts you both shared, along with a couple sips of wine—courtesy of you, there was just no way you expected him to be in his right mind enough for him to go slow. “i don’t want to go slow though,” he groaned, grabbing a handful of your ass over your skirt.

you kissed your teeth, now pulling away from the pouting man. you pushed him down against the blanket you had crocheted yourself, your hands now resting on his pecs. “you’re so impatient you know that? need my pussy that bad hm?” you giggled cocking your head to the side. toji gulped, his eyes finding it hard to stay locked on yours. eye contact with you was always so intense.

“yes….yes i am impatient and yes i need your pussy that bad.”

you smiled at his words, now leaning down to give him a slow kiss. you kissed your way down his jaw, to his neck, and finally down his chest. “damn….you got this worked up over a little kissing?” you teased, cupping toji over his jeans, earning a deep groan from him. toji didn’t respond, instead he just gave you the finger, too fucked out already to even come up with a proper comeback.

toji hissed when he felt you finally undo the button to his jeans, his leaking dick now free from its confinements. “go slow m’feelin’ a little sensitive,” toji grumbled and all you did was laugh, taking his throbbing dick in your hands. you gave the tip a soft squeeze, licking your lips. “now you wanna go slow? that’s funny,” you snickered, bringing his dick to your mouth, suckling the tip softly.

you ran your tip along the underside of his dick, fighting the urge to laugh again when you felt toji buck his hips up. toji wanted so badly to just push your head down, but you had just gotten your hair done a few days prior and he’d hate to cause you any discomfort. it was your first time getting passion twists and he was absolutely enamored with the way you looked with them.

“deeper—please go deeper y/n,” toji finally lifted his head up, now making eye contact with you but he reallyyyyy wishes he hadn’t. the way you were looking at him with those low, red eyes; eyelashes fluttering shut each time you took more of him in your mouth had him wanting to bust right then and there. toji felt his face flush, cheeks burning hot at the way you looked at him like he was the most precious thing to ever grace this earth—which in his opinion he wasn’t, far from it honestly.

toji’s eyes rolled back when he felt his dick hit the back of your right throat. “mmph fuck yeah—that’s that shit,” he groaned, bringing his hand to rest on the crown of your head. he didn’t grip it or apply any pressure, he just sat there and let you do what do best—suck the soul outta him.

the wind began to pick up, giving toji’s flaming cheeks a nice breeze to cool off. you made him so…so…beside himself. i mean for god sakes you had him fucking in the middle of a field of flowers, blazed out of his mind—it’s safe to say the grip you had on him was the most annoying shit ever.

“keep sucking me like that baby, f-fuck, take it deeper. be a good girl and take it deeper f’me,” you listened without protest, taking the last few inches of him in your mouth. toji was beyond fucked out, praises flying past his lips left n right and it only egged you on to turn him into even bigger pile of mush than he already was.

you pulled off of his dick with lewd pop! now paying attention to his swollen balls. toji’s body jerked, his heavy hand gripping onto your shoulder. “w—hah! w-wait y/n,” toji hissed, his jaw clenching impossibly tight. you lifted your head up, puffing air through your cheeks.

“i’m sorry i—”

“just shush toji.”

you wiped your mouth with the back of your hand before crawling up toji’s body, your lower half hovering over his twitching dick. you pushed toji down gently by his shoulders, humming to yourself at just how damn good he looked beneath you.

“you’re fuckin’ unreal,” toji sounded damn near breathless as he said it, his chest puffing up with each deep breath. his hand reached up to tug down your olive green, cropped tube top; his rough hands immediately latching onto your breasts.

“you really mean that or you jus’ fucked up?” you knew he meant it with all his heart, you just wanted to hear him say it. you blindly reached for the end of your skirt, tugging the soft material up your thighs. just as you pressed your panty clad pussy against toji’s dick he whispered the three words ‘i mean it’ in your ear, his teeth nibbling at your lobe.

the words ‘i like you’ were sitting so heavy on his tongue but he just couldn’t find the courage to tell you how he felt.

toji—a grown ass thirty four year old man who’s literally served time in the slammer was scared to tell you, a twenty something year old woman who was the literal embodiment of a fawn how he felt about you. what a joke.

“what are you thinking about?” you spoke softly, running your thumb over the stubble on toji’s jaw. toji shook his head, bringing his rough hands to your petal soft love handles.

“s’nothin.”

“liar.”

“i said it’s nothing.”

your breath hitched, mouth dropping open slightly at the feeling of toji’s dick pressed against your bare pussy. he felt so hot and soft against you and toji could certainly say the same thing about you. with one harsh tug toji ripped your thong off, tossing the semi soaked material to the side. you rlly should’ve known better with that one—toji hates whenever things are in his way.

“you’re such a liar toji,” your laugh was breathless as you began to slowly grind your pussy against toji’s dick. he sucked his bottom lip between his teeth, his brows furrowing in annoyance but mostly pleasure. he was already so close it was so fucking embarrassing. pre dripped from his throbbing tip and onto his clenching abs, creating an even bigger mess between the two of you.

toji bucked his up, puffing air through his cheeks to silently tell you he was more than ready for you. you gave him a small smile, your tooth gems glistening in the afternoon sun. “can i confess something toji?” you asked, lifting yourself up to balance your weight on your feet. you grabbed toji’s dick, swiping his tip between your folds before slowly inserting it.

you both gasped in unison, toji’s eyes fluttering shut at the warmth that enveloped his cock. “w-what do you need to confess you fu—hucking brat,” he growled, his fingernails digging in the soft flesh of your thighs. in one swift movement you sat all the down, toji’s balls now pressed snugly against your backside.

“i really, really like hanging out with you toji,” your voice was a little high pitched, rightfully so because you practically feel the trembling man below you in your stomach. you pressed your hands against toji’s chest, bouncing on his dick like your life depended on it.

you brushed a stray hair out of toji’s face, cradling his jaw in your palm that still smelled of the shea butter you applied before your outing. “you like hanging out with me too toji? you like me?” your tone was coming off a tad desperate but you could’ve cared less. toji’s adam’s apple bobbed, a pathetic whine bubbling in his throat.

“yes.”

“yes what?”

toji wrapped his arms around your waist, his feet planting into the ground before fucking up into you. “yes i fucking l-like you y/n, could you not—shit! fucking tell? jesus christ your pussy is so good,” toji couldn’t help the drool that slipped past his lips, it was impossible to keep his mouth shut at this point. your hands found themselves in toji’s hair, tugging roughly at the soft strands.

“i knew you did i just wanted to hear you say it. i like you too toji.”

i like you too toji.

toji halted his movements, his dick now in you to the hilt. you suddenly felt a warm sensation in your lower half and knew immediately that toji was in the process of cumming. you circled your hips as best as you could, milking him for all he was worth.

“hah f-fucking shit i can’t stop fucking cumminggg,” he groaned, burying his face in your sweet smelling neck; the scent of vanilla and caramel had him feeling more dizzy than he already was.

after giving toji a few minutes to catch his breath you sat up, his dick still sheathed inside of you. “look how messy,” you spread your lips, giving toji a mouthwatering view of your overly stuffed pussy. toji licked his lips, reaching over to down the rest of the wine that was in your abandoned glass.

“lemme clean you up.”

[gilverrwrites]

Imagine desperate Jason crawling through your window late at night. You've been crushing on each other for a while now, but he is blind by his insecurities to see your obvious heart eyes. His self control has finally snapped- maybe you've been putting your hand on his thigh or leaning against him, dropping hints that only push him over the edge. He very quietly, very carefully slips into your bed. "Just once..." he thinks, slipping your panties off your sleeping form "one time and I'll be okay..."

Jason Todd/Reader I can't lie, there's little more I enjoy than writing Jason being being a little bit depraved and/or pathetic. Sorry to my fellow ugly sleepers with thunderous snores, we're babes too. Warnings: Dub-con, somno

Just this once he'd told himself the very first time he’d jimmied your rusty old window lock open with his switchblade. Your texts had stopped abruptly, all he wanted to do was poke his head in and check that you were safe and sound, tucked up in bed.

Just this once he'd said again, the next time as your creaky hardwood floors cried out beneath the weight of his steel-toed boots. You were bedridden with flu. He was being a good friend, checking your temperature and refilling your water.

Just this once he'd promised the time he settled onto the edge of your bed, taking respite from a rough night by watching you; so serene, so peaceful. He listened to the sound of your shallow breathing until his eyes grew heavy.

Just this once he’ll allow himself to really relax, just this once he’ll kick off his shoes, take off his hood and lie beside you. He just needs to be close to you, to feel your warmth beside him, to feel your breath on his skin.

Just this once he’d sworn every time, but now he knows exactly what angle to tap your lock at, which floorboards make the least noise, how slowly to lower his weight onto your bed to prevent it dipping under his weight too quickly and making you stir.

But just this once he needs more from you than he would normally take.

You've been so hard to be around lately, his self-control is in pieces. You stomp on it every time you run your fingers through his hair. It sets his skin ablaze when you hold his hand. He can feel his heartbeat in his throat when you whisper in his ear. You’ve picked up this maddening habit of resting your fingers on his thigh whenever you sit beside him, and it makes his cock ache for your touch. How can you not see what you’re doing to him? How badly he wants you? It’s torture. Pretty soon he’ll have ground his teeth down to dust from gritting them to keep from kissing you every time you bat your lashes and twirl your hair.

Just this once he’ll pull the covers all the way back. He’ll take his gloves off so he can feel your bare skin against his cracked fingers. He’ll savour the sweet sounds of your sleepy musings, how you murmur and moan for him when he brushes his thumbs across your nipples, how your back arches as he traces the curve of your stomach and dips his fingers below the elastic of your underwear; he’ll commit it all to memory.

He barely even has to do anything, you spread your legs so eagerly once he gets your panties off. Your slit is so hot and wet, his fingers glide between your lips. He should slow down, should make sure he’s not disturbing you, but your body responds so well to him, your pussy swallowing up his digits with no resistance. You’re just begging for him.  

He shakes as he works his belt open. Soft whimpers of his own escape his lips, delicate sounds he’d loathe for you to hear as he palms his length, rubbing it with your slick before lining it up with your needy entrance.  

Just this once, to get you out of his system.

[johnnysuhbmarine]

Knowing a change of scenery was what your mental health needed, you transferred to where your brother, Mark, goes to college. The good news is, he’s not too cool for his younger sister, so he lets you join his friend group immediately. The bad news is, Haechan is in that friend group, and a brief encounter four years ago was enough for you to understand he does NOT like you. Even worse news, he’s a lot hotter than he was four years ago…

Chapter Fifteen: I'll just ask Mark - four images, 1.5k words - heads up, this chapter deals more with y/n's mental health than previous ones

You were thankful you didn’t have any classes for the rest of the day, because time slipped right by you while at lunch with Haechan. The two of you got sandwiches and coffee from the library café, but when you quickly realized all the tables were taken, you ended up bringing the food back to Haechan’s apartment just a short walk away. This is where time started flying past. The two of you turned on an old cartoon show to watch while you ate, but once you were finished, your own voices quickly overtook the sound of the television.

It was a strange truth to find out - that you and Haechan actually got along swimmingly, taking to each other like a duck to water. Of course, up until the last week or so, the majority of your time knowing each other was spent either ignoring one another or exemplifying passive aggression; so your ability to actually carry a conversation for hours was a very new concept, but one you could hardly take the time to question when you were too busy laughing until you couldn’t breathe.

Haechan was the first to calm down after the last bout of laughter shared in the living room, and he leaned his head against the front of the couch - the two of you opted to sit on the floor as you ate since there was no coffee table to place everything on; not to mention the couch wasn’t that comfortable in the first place.

He rolled his head to the side so he could look at you, your eyes squeezed shut as you bite on your bottom lip to try and stop more laughs from leaving your system. He let a soft grin come across his face as he took in your presence, and the fact that he was happy here with you. “Remind me to thank Mark for convincing you to transfer,” he says gratefully, traces of a laugh still tainting his light voice. Though, all at once, your body stills, and you open your eyes to meet his soft gaze before swiftly bringing your focus to where you had begun messing with your fingers in your lap.

“Oh. It wasn’t really- he didn’t convince me, so to speak. I had to transfer.” You fumble through your words, embarrassment tinging your cheeks a shade of pink.

Haechan furrowed his brows at you. “What do you mean?” He asks curiously, and you can’t help the heavy sigh that escapes you.

You stop fidgeting, but you can’t bring your gaze up from your lap as you respond smoothly. “I was really, badly depressed. Not to mention half the student body at SM used to actually bully me," you recall with a scoff.

“At the end of the day, I just wanted my brother closer than thirty minutes away from me. Helped me feel less alone, or at least helped me not make rash decisions, I mean- I hated myself. Wasn’t sure I was anything but a waste of space, honestly; and the idea of going to my brother to be talked down felt better than going to my friends, cause I always thought they would leave me if all I did was come to them with struggles. My brother can’t leave, he’s stuck with me. Though most of the time, that doesn’t really make it any easier - it’s still putting so much responsibility on Mark, when he’s probably the last person who needs any more added to his plate. Regardless, he does his best - and only partly because he's forced to," you say with a weak laugh before continuing softly.

"In transferring here, my parents made him promise that he wouldn’t allow me to throw myself into oncoming traffic, or maybe it was off a bridge. I don’t know. Something stupid but-”

You cut yourself off when you hear what you think is a sniffle from beside you. You whip your head over to look and get confirmation that he’s actually crying. “Haechan?” You get out worriedly, your brows furrowing as you take in his wide watery eyes and small trembles. You reach out to wipe away at the tears racing down his face, and he just shakes his head against your hold.

“Don’t leave. Don’t you ever dare leave,” he manages to get out somewhat firmly. Your lips form a tight smile at his care and you shake your head, trying to dispel his worries.

“I’m not-” You start, but he cuts you off and you’re sure it’s because he doesn’t quite believe you…not that you could blame him.

He moves from sitting flat on the ground to instead lean over and engulf you in a hug, made awkward by the fact that he was practically just ramming his body into your side. You didn’t care, you wrapped your arms around him the best you could as he gets out choked words. “I need you. Here. I need you here,” he hiccups, and you break.

“Haechan…it’s okay. I’m not going anywhere. I promise,” you say, trying your best not to cry now, too as you begin to rub a hand up and down his back.

You feel a light poke at your side and glance down to see his pinkie outstretched. You look back up to face him in confusion, but his eyes are still directed towards the floor, not to mention squeezed shut. “P-promise,” he gets out weakly. With the tears staining his face, the shaking of his body, and his choked words, you knew you never wanted to see Haechan like this ever again. So, without truly realizing how much this pinky promise was going to mean to him, you lace your finger with his and watch as the smallest wave of relief crashes over him.

He falls more decidedly against you, and you hold him there tightly, running your fingers gently across his clothes and through his hair. You don’t know how long the two of you stayed like that, but you know you didn’t let up from the hug until he was completely rid of tears. Though, when you lift your arms up and allow him to sit back upright, he doesn’t, and a small smile crosses your face as you gently place your arms back around his figure.

You hadn’t seen him look this small ever before, and the fact that he was being this emotional and vulnerable with you was making warmth spread through your entire body. You only hoped it could transfer through the hug you had him in, figuring he probably needed it more right now - for some reason, it couldn't click that he was crying over you, that he was currently concerned about making sure you felt comforted and cared for...though that quickly changes with his next words.

“I’m sorry I was a dick to you earlier,” he finally says with resolve. You move to shake your head and dismiss it, but he presses on. “I treated you poorly for no reason, and I’m sorry. The last thing I ever want to do is remind you of someone from your old school. I’ll do better. I promise all I’ll ever try to do is put a smile on your face, but if it’s ever not genuine, I need you to know that you can come to me, confide in me, whatever. Your heavy feelings aren’t going to scare me away. You don’t need to ever pretend around me, and if I’m the only person who has made that clear, then so be it, I’ll be your rock.”

He finally moves as he says this so that he can make eye contact with you, unfortunate because you had finally started crying at his words. “It’s so hard,” you squeak out. “With my family, I mean - I just want to be a good daughter- a good sister. They don’t deserve all that stress of my mental health. I- I broke my family’s heart telling them how I thought of myself…the point I was reaching. I don’t ever want to worry them like that again.” As you finish, your attention is turned towards where Haechan lightly grabbed your hand in his.

“You broke mine, too, but you need to understand that I’ll let you break it over and over again if it means you aren’t going through this alone.” There’s nothing but sincerity in his tone and it sends even more tears racing down your cheeks. He sighs, bringing a hand up to wipe gently under your eyes. “Y/n,” he says, his voice soft but filled with intent.

You nod your head, knowing what he was looking for - any confirmation that you were actually taking in his words. “Thank you,” you say weakly, causing a corner of Haechan’s mouth to perk up in a soft grin.

His hand that was previously at your cheek moves up to eventually run back down through your hair, tucking a piece behind your ear. “Do you wanna watch The Aristocats?” He asks gently.

Your wide eyes meet his. “You’d watch it with me again?” You respond in awe.

Haechan lets out a small laugh, turning his gaze to the floor before shaking his head and looking in your teary eyes again. “You said it’s your comfort movie…I’d watch it a thousand times.”

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a/n: yuhhhh

Taglist: @fullsunstrawberry @choizzn @raevyng @dudekiss3r @yewshi @artsenthusiastk77 @injunnie-lemon @markeroolee @chan-yeoldelling @sunflowerhae @mystverse @urlovelily @luvandletter @jeonghansshitester @dinonuguaegi @untilthesunrises @clean-soap @andassortedkpop @dlin3 @roseangelxfuma @gomdoleemyson @simmsunshine @swanyvess @awktwurtle @t-102 @kukkurookkoo

@hahaechans @ypoom151999 @goldenclosethobi

[queer-brainrot]

ok so here's the thing about jercy. they're like an onion, they have layers

they are totally boyfriends that call each other dude and bro all the fucking time, they tease each other and joke around, they get into dumb competitions with each other and their banter is top notch

but they're also. all over each other. and not like in a making out in front of everyone kind of way but like you can't tell me jason isn't touch-starved and i just know that his sweet, empathetic, emotionally intelligent percy is going to pick up on that. so Percy is always touching Jason, an arm over his shoulder or resting his hand on the small of his back or holding hands while they patrol with their swords in their dominant hands. jason probably doesn't realize how badly he needs it until he gets it and then he doesn't know how to ask for it but percy delivers anyways. eventually jason works his way up to using his words and even initiating the contact he craves all by himself

bottom line they are soft for each other, as leaders of their camps it's hard for them to let their guard down but with each other they can because they know the other just gets it and they feel safe. you don't think jason absolutely breaks down crying on percy's chest after meeting sally and comparing it to his own mother, while percy holds him through it and reassures him that sally is his family too? you don't think jason will stay up all night holding percy when the nightmares get to be too much? i think these two are able to open up much more to each other than anyone else. they're both the big spoon, they're both the little spoon, they each need it sometimes ok

but just because they're soft and in love does not mean they don't go hard on each other in training, they fight in the arena without holding back. they're still super competitive with one another whether it's sword fighting, demigod abilities, or dumb stuff (including but not limited to flirting and making the other blush). they know the other can take it

but oh my gods if one of them gets hurt? they are so fucking protective. between percy 'loyalty is my fatal flaw' jackson and jason 'raised by wolves' grace they would do anything, go absolutely feral, to keep the the other safe from any threat, real or perceived, because they're so precious to one another. these traits probably also lead into some possessiveness but like they're into it and i promise it's not in a toxic way it's just very low-key they know they don't like "own" each other alright

so like yeah they can be pushing each other around bro-ing out almost looking like they're just friends, or you can question how they can look ready to kill each other when they spar, but you gotta look for the subtle things. look in their eyes, they can't keep the absolute love and adoration out of their eyes. and remember, as touchy as they are when they're relaxing around camp, you will never see what they're like when it's just themselves (hint it's a complete mashup of bro shit and soft love and passion), and if you try getting too close to either boyfriend they will both instantly shut you down

[daenysx]

Hi! This sleepover has come just in time for finals season! I Hope November isn’t treating you too badly. Could I request 10:30 (pm) with poly!wolfstar?

I was thinking maybe reader is overwhelmed trying to manage schoolwork and the approaching holidays and the boys help her unwind? Unless you have something else in mind which is totally cool too!

10.30 PM | POLY!WOLFSTAR

"sorry, but i'm still thinking of my essay."

sirius looks at you with a cute pout, you wanna kiss it off his face. he's dramatizing things now, but deep down you know this is not a very nice thing to say. they've been trying to distract you since dinner.

"i'm sorry." you say with a frown. "i'm trying, but it's just- there are so many things to do, i just wanna catch up."

"we know what you mean, dove." remus says, he rubs your thigh with slow fingers. "you're right to be nervous, but it's not like you'll be very productive even if you start your essay right now. you need to rest."

"you know, there's this lovely thing called procrastinating things until the deadline, maybe you can try that for the first time." sirius teases. he's wearing a thick jumper, his chest looks broad and soft, you think maybe you can crawl in there like a cat.

"actually i'm procrastinating, but that's even more stressful than the actual work."

remus pulls you from your shoulders and his mouth finds your forehead. he kisses your frown off. it's actually really nice to be away from your laptop for an evening.

"don't listen to him anyway, sweetheart." remus says. "at least one of us needs to be a responsible person."

"that hurts me, dear moons." sirius puts his hand on his heart. "i think you should make it up to me."

"kiss!" you clap your hands. remus lifts his head, his eyes sparkle with cheekiness.

"that's the least he can do."

"come closer then." remus says. "i can't move."

"if this is making it up to me, then why am i doing the entire work?"

his words get cut at some point because remus has a long enough arm to pull sirius to himself. it's absolutely attractive, the way he holds you on his chest with his one arm and pulls sirius gently with the other one.

sirius gives him a sound kiss, you smile. their chemistry warms your heart.

"that was really hot." sirius admits. "you are forgiven."

"thank you."

they somehow manage to distract you. you don't think about your eesay anymore, you only crave to be squished between them in bed as they coax you into sleep. remus looks at you with a fond gaze.

"i'm gonna fall asleep, i think." you say slowly. remus keeps rubbing your back.

"that was the whole point, angel girl." sirius whispers. "we were trying to trick you into sleeping early."

dreamer girl sleepover ♡

[0blobthefish0]

hi! can i request Agatha Harkness x reader smut where reader has been teasing Agatha all day until Agatha finally snaps when they arrived at home?

thank you!

Boundary Pushing

agatha harkness masterlist | main masterlist

Agatha Harkness x afab!reader SMUT 18+ 3,058 words

includes: cunnilingus (agatha receiving), fingering (r!receiving), vibrator, orgasm denial

a/n - hopefully i've done this fic justice, I'm not the best at smut writing 😔

You knew from the very moment Agatha had stood before the vanity mirror to put in her earrings, that trouble would be coming your way. 

You watched from the bed, lip caught between your teeth, as she fixed up that beautiful mess of hair into a loose bun; it was calling out for you to take it out so that you could run your fingers through the soft strands. Blue eyes flicked to yours from within the mirror - caught - and you felt your breath hitch before a shy smile made its way onto your lips. Agatha smirked at you, she loved that she still had that effect on you. 

Spinning around, Agatha leaned back against the vanity, “How do I look?” She questioned, smoothing down the material of her pantsuit. Lost for words, she looked so good and all you wanted was to get on your knees and beg for her to let you have a taste; you only let out a gratuitous hum as you nodded your head. 

“When is it starting?” You asked as she walked towards you before falling to one knee. She stared up at you from your sat position on the bed and you swallowed harshly, feeling a heat pool at your core - she knew what she was doing. One thing about Agatha, was that she loved to tease.

Your eyes followed her movements as she reached for your heel, “Soon,” she replied, slipping the shoe onto your foot and gently squeezing your ankle after tightening the buckle. You wanted more, just seeing her skilled hands make quick work of your shoes were doing wonders to add to your arousal. Her hands smoothed up the material of your tights as she stood up before resting them on your thighs. 

Agatha was enjoying this. Tensions rose as she looked down into your eyes, she didn’t need to have the skills of a witch to understand what was going on in that pretty little head of yours. And, no matter how badly she wanted you, she would not let herself give in. She physically could not miss this stupid coven meeting, this week being hers and the witches would soon be arriving.

“You be good now,” she warned with a knowing look on her face and you gaped at her with amusement and playfully rolled your eyes. But said nothing; you didn’t enjoy making promises you couldn't keep. 

Being ‘good’ did not last long. As soon as you all had taken your seats around the large round table, you had quietly shifted closer and closer to Agatha and placed a hand on her knee. Her little act this morning had turned you on. You needed her. Seeing her take on this authoritative role within the group was… distracting to say the least. 

Agatha could feel your impatient eyes boring into her as she spoke from her standing position, her legs pushed into the edge of the table as she seethed at whatever Rio had put forward. It did not matter if it was a good idea, she can’t even remember if it even was a good idea - not that she’d ever think it was - anything Rio said was never any good.

Mid roll of her eyes, she felt a tentative hand find its way onto the back of her calf and gently begin its dance up her leg. She shot you a discreet, pointed look to find you intently listening to Lilia - chin on your palm as your elbow rested on the table, hanging onto her every word and, most obvious of all, pretending to not notice her. A faux act, and she knew it, you were never that interested in coven meetings. Still, your fingers travelled their way up and up and up.

Quickly. Agatha sat down. A mere second before the table could see your hands on her. 

“Backing down are we, Agatha?” Jen smirked almost victoriously.

Agatha rolled her eyes again and shifted in her chair, “I don’t need to waste my breath on this,” she huffed out, crossing her arms over her chest. 

Your teasing efforts had not ceased. In time your hand had made its way back onto her, now it rested on her mid thigh, fingers stretching to trace figures of eights across the inside of her thigh. The bottom of the eight somehow gets closer and closer, and Agatha would be lying if she said that she wasn’t even the slightest bit turned on. Gods, she loved the thought of you not being able to keep your hands off of her. Yet her hand clamped over yours and moved them to hold in your own lap.

Slowly, invitingly, you spread apart your knees and guided her hands between your thighs. Your breath hitching, quietly, as two fingers pressed against your sensitive clit - an electrical pulse causing you to jump. Agatha could almost.. feel your warm breath fanning across her ear and neck as her deft fingers circled the bundle of nerves and your muscles were rigid as you fought against squirming in your chair.

Agatha could also hear her heart beating; ba-ba bump-bump

“Stop it,” you heard your lover hiss lowly, her fingers now clawed against your thigh, the pressure, a perfect blend of pain and pleasure, making you bite your lip

“Stop what?” You questioned back, just as quietly, your eyebrows furrowed. Agatha stared at you for a quiet moment and pressed her tongue against her teeth.

“Don’t start what you can’t finish, bun,” Agatha warned, “you know it doesn’t always end well for you.”

You shrugged your shoulders, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Agatha watched with a raised brow as you turned your head away from her and continued listening to the coven. Was this really the way you were going to play today?

The second time you decide to perform a little spell on your witch, it’s not even ten minutes later. She had been paying you no attention since, not even a glance your way, it was only when your stillness had become noticed that Agatha began to become suspicious. From your leant back position you saw her head turn towards you; perfect.

Blue eyes landed on the chair next to her, empty. Around her the meeting goes on, the coven acting and speaking in reflection to the real world - you’re getting good at this. Of course she knows you’re in her head, but she does not break your spell. Though she can do so easily, her curiosity beats that of the actual meeting. 

On edge, Agatha twirls a loose dark curl around her finger as she listens, well as much as she usually does, to her fellow witches. Something.. just something, an inkling, a nag in her ear, a whisper her way has Agatha’s eyes travelling down. And there you were. Knelt between her spread legs and eyes dark with lust as you stare up at her with a playful glint. Your warm hands run up the back of her calves and you shift closer to her, leaning in, to press soft, gentle, patient kisses to her thighs (when her trousers had disappeared, she does not know). You kiss her as if you have all the time in the world, working your way up and stealing small glances up at her - it makes her heart stop every time.

“Agatha?” She doesn’t hear it the first time, too focussed on the way you’re getting closer.

“Agatha!”

Her eyes scan the table, they’re all watching her; Jen with furrowed brows, Lilia with her eyes squinted, Rio’s eyes flicking from her to you as she pulls the pieces together with a knowing smirk, and.. Fuck- Billy’s eyes are wide and he looks away too quickly when her gaze lands on him. 

Dread and embarrassment fills you, shit.

——————

The door shuts out the last trails of goodbyes and silence is left in its place. Agatha still has her back turned on you as you stand at the bottom of the stairs.

“I’m sorry,” you apologise.

“Really?” You can hear the disbelief in her voice as she turns around and quirks an eyebrow at you with pursed lips, “‘Cause you’re smiling.” Your eyes go wide and you bite your lip to hide it.

“I didn’t mean for him to-”

“Go upstairs,” she interrupts and folds her arms over her chest. Slowly, you take a few steps backwards up the familiar steps as your eyes search her own. You swallow, nervously, and pause.

“Are you-”

“Mhm,” she responds with a small nod of her head before you’ve even gotten the words out and you spin on your heel and quietly climb the rest of the stairs. She’s planning plotting her next moves, you could see it in her eyes.

Agatha can’t help but chuckle to herself as she enters the basement once again to collect the empty mugs of various teas and coffees, the image of Billy’s poor shell-shocked face still fresh in her mind. Poor boy. 

You, on the other hand, should have been more careful. Your second little scenario, however, had caught her attention, what exactly were you wanting? Just her, or possibly, more control perhaps? Or were you only just trying to get a rise out of her? It was possible; you are a little mischievous. Whatever it may be, she was going to get it out of you one way or another.

As the seconds ticked by, your nervousness only grew, but so did your desire. The way Agatha was looking down at you as you kissed her skin was replaying over and over, she wasn’t opposed, no, you’d go as far to say that she was in fact enjoying it. A scenario you had only dreamt of, and it was only fuel to the fire, a hunger that needed to be sated.

“Whatcha thinkin’ about, bun?” 

“You,” you hummed, it wasn’t a lie, just a half truth. Agatha’s head cocked as she leant against the doorframe to your shared bedroom. “I’m sorry,” you apologised once again, “I didn’t mean for it to get so.. out of hand.” Agatha only hummed in acknowledgement before sauntering over to the edge of the bed where you sat. Your chest felt heavy as her hand slid up the nape of your neck, her fingers almost cradling your head.

“Just wanted a bit of fun did you?” And you felt the pressure of her hand on your waist as you nodded up at her. She smiled and pressed a soft kiss to your lips, which you tried to lean into but her fingers curled against your hair, keeping you back. “Hm, now it’s my turn,” the smile on her face was almost sadistic, before her lips were on you again. Rougher this time and you opened up your legs to welcome her between you as she pressed bruisingly against you.

You let out a small groan when you felt her drag the fabric of your skirt to your waist before making quick, easy work of your tights with the help of some practical magic. “What got you just so hot and bothered, hm?” She questioned against your lips.

“I don’t know, you-” a quick gasp escaped you as Agatha pulled you forward roughly by the hips causing you to fall back against the duvet, “you just looked so good this morning.” Her signature smirk came into view and she pressed it into the skin of your neck forcing your head to tilt as you arch your back into her. 

Instantly, your hands found their way into her loose curls and carefully pulled out the tie holding her bun in place. You let out a long hum as you threaded your fingers through the soft, dark strands, pushing her head back so that you could look at her properly. Agatha’s blue eyes were creased with a smile and she almost, almost, forgot what had led the two of you into this situation in the first place.

You let in a deep breath as Agatha teased the tips of her fingers along your inner thighs and nipped and kissed at the skin of your breasts. Gently, her fingers found their way to press sharply against your clit, causing you to jolt at the electric wave generated by the pressure, and you moaned out in pleasure. At the rate at which Agatha was tormenting the swollen bud, you could already feel the coil in your lower stomach becoming tighter and tighter and tighter.

Gods, you don’t think you’ll last much longer, it’s embarrassing really, but you’re too focussed on the way her fingers know exactly how to move.

“Mm, Ag-atha, please, I’m so close,” you whined and your hand found its way to linger around her wrist. Agatha leaned back, her eyes staring at the way your eyes are shut chasing after that release; just a little longer and, she’s done it perfectly-

No.

No no no no no.

“Aggie,” you whined out in frustration as she pulled away from you, a dark glint in her eyes as she watched the built up pleasure dissipate. Your chest was heaving as you breathed in and out. Fuck. 

Agatha can’t help but become pleased with herself, “Aw poor, bunny, you were right there, weren’t you?” She questions cynically as she strokes up and down your thigh. “Hm?”

“Yeah,” you sigh out lightly before you sit up. Her eyes lock onto yours as she unbuttons her trousers and top before letting them drop to the floor. Your gaze is glued to her as she pads over to the chest of drawers and pulls one open, her hand hovers over the broad selection of toys. Her fingers dance before finally reaching down and grabbing one. It’s her favourite vibrator, control operated, one that she can stop and start at will. 

She spins on her heel, the vibrator held casually in her hand, and she climbs into your lap. Your hands reach out to her as she straddles you and they rest on her hips, you can feel the beat of your heart in your neck as she strokes your hair. 

“What do you want?” She whispers against your lips.

“To cum,” you whisper back with a smile, it isn’t the answer she’s looking for and she shakes her head. “To taste you,” you follow with. Agatha hums and lightly pushes you back and slowly makes her way to hover over you.

“Like this?” She questions and your hands stop their movements of lightly massaging her thighs - she’s never given you the option before and you stare up at her with furrowed brows. “How do you want me?” You feel your heart skip a beat at the sultriness of her voice. “Sat on your face?” She teases, and sits back to put weight on your chest. “Or something else, hm, what’re you thinking?”

“I want you on your back,” you finally admit.

Agatha cocks her head to the left, “Why?” Okay, maybe her ‘one way or another’ was very direct. “Is it the control that you want?” You shake your head and Agatha feels your hands begin to move once again.

“No, nothing like that, maybe a little; I just want you to relax. Let me take care of you, like you do me.”

The words are rehearsed, you’ve been thinking about this, for days or even for weeks now. 

Agatha nods her head and gracefully rolls off of you before making herself comfortable amongst the pillows. You’re kneeling on the bed in front of her and she’s looking at you expectantly. Your throat bobs as you swallow, taking in the sight that is Agatha Harkness, indecently dressed with her legs spread for you. Damn, what did you do to get so lucky?

Silently, before you can move, Agatha holds out the purple vibrator and waves it towards you. Your hand wraps around the toy and you tease it at your entrance, spreading your folds, and making sure you’re ready before pushing it inside. You dampen a groan and her blue eyes are downcast as she intently watches you follow her unspoken direction.

It’s quiet as you shuffle forward on your knees, you’re nervous and you can tell that she is too; you’ve never done this before. You lean into her and press sweet, gentle kisses to her hairline and down her face to her jaw. Then, you move down and pepper kisses to her stomach and then to each thigh before pressing a kiss to her clothed clit. An appreciative hum leaves her throat and you slip off her underwear. 

You almost drool at the sight, she’s perfect. You glance upwards and Agatha’s pupils are blown, so cute she reminds you of a bunny - the irony of it. As soon as your tongue meets her core, you feel her legs jolt to close before giving into the feeling and letting them fall away. 

Bzz

You almost falter when you feel the strong vibrations inside of you and moan into her as you continue to lap at her cunt. Agatha’s breathing becomes heavier and more ragged until small, quiet whines make their way into the melody. You’re still yet to master her, but then again it’s only your first time; it’ll take a few more plays before you begin to notice which strings to pull and which to flick in order to create a symphony.

Agatha’s legs finally enclose around your head as she rolls into you, pressing herself further into you, chasing after her release. She’s moaning now, suppressed, but plentiful, and you’re moaning with her, your tongue delving deeper and deeper inside of her. Her thighs squeeze and keep you, locked, where she wants you before she begins to shudder. 

“Ah, yes, right there, bunny,” she whispers out, her voice slightly raspy with the moans she had expelled. The movement of her hips cease and she lets out a sigh of relief, the vibrations cease with it. You’d be dim if you were expecting to cum tonight. You clean her up with your tongue and she pulls you up to kiss her with a hand under your chin.

“You did so good, bun,” she congratulates you against your lips and you feel your heart melt. If this was the result of being a little reckless then you may have to do it again.

[hikarry]

I...I think I just spent 13 hours processing my newest trauma through Aziraphale and ended up writing the most serious and fucking real break up scene between Aziraphale and Crowley I've ever even considered writing

I...Fucking hell

Just-

I sat here, tears in my eyes, and I chose them to help me procress and I just wrote the most real thing that ever came out of my lil fingertips

I will not throw this away. I will figure out a way to write a story around this scene alone, but I'm just going to leave it here for now. Cause, fuck.

It's still not refined, mind you. I just wrote this and felt like posting it here, so nevermind the mistakes and whatnot

Crowley awoke to sunlight spilling over him, casting a warm glow that he immediately tried to escape. He groaned, pulling the blankets over his head, desperate to keep the world out a little longer. But as he tugged the covers, he noticed a strange weight to them—not quite right, somehow softer, smelling faintly of old books and tea. The dissonance nagged at his half-dreaming mind, until the realization hit him, sharp and sudden.

This wasn’t his bed. This was Aziraphale’s.

Memories surged, each one a jolt to his drowsy senses. Aziraphale collapsing into his arms, Raphael’s sombre warning about the angel’s deteriorating core, the fear that it might devour him from within. Crowley recalled their painful conversation—Aziraphale pressing his pinky ring into his hand and giving him an ancient box, packed with letters, photographs and sketches. Each drawing was of Crowley—his eyes, his smile, his hands—captured in Aziraphale’s tender, attentive gaze. They were relics, moments preserved over centuries, a farewell gift for Crowley to remember him by if…

Then he remembered the new attack at night. Aziraphale’s body trembling, his essence struggling against itself, and Crowley, desperately holding him close, trying to soothe the angel through the worst of it, following Raphael’s advice as best he could.

Finally, exhausted, Aziraphale had drifted off, leaving Crowley to watch over him until sleep claimed him too.

Crowley reached across the bed, expecting the familiar warmth beside him, only to feel the cold emptiness of the sheets. Panic surged through him, flooding his senses and banishing any lingering sleep. His heart pounded as he sat up, scanning the room with wild, searching eyes.

“Aziraphale!” he called out, his voice hoarse, thick with fear. He pushed himself out of bed, stumbling, as he searched the flat in a frenzy.

He dashed down the stairs, heart racing with every step, calling Aziraphale’s name. His voice echoed through the stillness of the bookshop, each unanswered call intensifying his dread.

Then, he spotted him.

Aziraphale sat at his desk, removing his reading glasses with that calm, familiar gesture, looking up at Crowley with a mildly perplexed expression, as though yesterday’s horrors were nothing but a forgotten dream. He was impeccably dressed, the picture of serene composure, as if-.

“Crowley?” Aziraphale’s voice was soft, achingly gentle, piercing through Crowley’s panic and grounding him in a way only the angel’s presence ever could.

Crowley freezes, his breath catching in his throat as a rush of disbelief floods through him, quickly followed by an overwhelming tide of relief that he barely knows how to process. His heart is a frantic drumbeat in his chest, each thud like a battering ram against his ribs. The word escapes him in a choked whisper, almost too quiet to hear. “Aziraphale…” His name sounds foreign on his lips, trembling, as if he’s afraid speaking it too loudly might shatter this fragile moment. Without thinking, he takes a step, then another, his feet moving quicker than his mind can catch up.

Aziraphale watches him, his expression a study in calm, but there’s a subtle sorrow hidden behind those soft eyes. He sets his book aside with deliberate slowness, as if aware of the weight of the moment, as if he understands how badly Crowley needs him to be real, to *be here.* When Crowley reaches him, he stops, every inch of his body tense, his eyes scanning Aziraphale’s face like a desperate search for any crack, any fracture, anything that would suggest the angel is not whole. He’s afraid to blink, afraid that when his eyes open again, Aziraphale might disappear.

“I-I thought…” Crowley starts, the words stumbling from his lips, each syllable trembling as if the very act of speaking could unravel everything. His breath is shallow, the air thick with an almost suffocating fear. His chest is tight, constricted, and his heart thunders in his ears as he struggles to form a thought that makes any sense at all. But the fear that clings to him like a shadow has no words, no logic. All that remains is this raw, pulsing panic, the lingering horror of something worse just out of reach.

Aziraphale’s eyes soften, a glimmer of understanding passing through them. He steps closer, slowly, deliberately, as if every movement is meant to reassure, to calm. His hands rise, gentle, placing themselves on Crowley’s shoulders with a touch that feels both familiar and distant. It’s cold. The coolness of Aziraphale’s fingers seeps into Crowley’s skin, a stark contrast to the warmth he craves, and something inside him snaps. He’s here, yes, but there’s something wrong. Something’s missing.

“Forgive me, my dear,” Aziraphale says, his voice gentle but carrying a depth of sorrow, as though he, too, feels the weight of the unspoken words between them. “I woke hours ago and couldn’t bear to disturb your rest.” His hand moves up, his fingers brushing a lock of Crowley’s hair away from his forehead with such tenderness that it almost aches. But the coldness of that touch, too, is an unforgivable reminder of the fragility of this moment, of how close they came to losing everything. Yesterday lingers between them, a tangible thing, and Crowley can almost taste the terror that still clings to the edges of his mind.

Crowley’s breath shudders in his chest, his hands moving on their own to grab Aziraphale’s wrists, the action almost frantic, his fingers trembling with an urgency he can’t control. He holds on as if the simple act of touch can anchor him to this reality, to the feeling of Aziraphale being alive, being here. “You… you scared me, angel,” Crowley breathes, his voice hoarse, cracking under the weight of the emotions he’s barely able to express. “I thought…” He falters, unable to finish the sentence, unable to voice the horror that still simmers in the pit of his stomach. His pulse races, but the relief he should be feeling is tangled with something darker, something deeper that refuses to let go.

Aziraphaletakes hold of Crowley’s hands, his fingers cold, trembling—just as they were yesterday. The coldness isn’t just the absence of warmth, it’s something else, something more. A coldness that seeps into Crowley’s bones, that gnaws at his soul. The tremors in Aziraphale’s touch are like a faint echo of the nightmare they just survived, a reminder that whatever they’ve survived—whatever they’ve won—isn’t over. Not yet.

“Take a deep breath, my dear,” Aziraphale murmurs, his voice low and soothing, yet edged with something brittle, something that tells Crowley this calm is fragile, as if one wrong move could shatter it. Aziraphale’s thumb traces circles on Crowley’s knuckles, slow, deliberate, trying to steady him. But the touch is faint, delicate, like the fluttering wings of a moth in the dark, and Crowley feels the tremors of Aziraphale’s fingers under his own, an unmistakable sign that the danger still looms over them. The same cold fear claws at Crowley’s insides, pulling him down into a place he doesn’t want to go, a place where he can’t save Aziraphale, can’t stop whatever is coming.

Crowley inhales sharply, the breath caught in his chest, but it does little to calm the panic roiling inside him. He squeezes Aziraphale’s hands harder, his knuckles white with the effort, trying to hold on to something, anything, that might give him control over this suffocating fear. “How can you stay so calm?” His voice cracks, thick with emotion, the words escaping like a ragged plea. “How can you act like nothing’s wrong when you…” He can’t finish the sentence. It’s too much. The thought hangs in the air, suffocating him, a silent terror too vast to voice.

Aziraphale’s lips form a smile—gentle, almost pitying—but it doesn’t reach his eyes. It’s a smile that feels like a lie. He lifts Crowley’s hand to his mouth, pressing a kiss to it with the same chilling coldness that’s invaded every inch of their world. The touch is wrong. So wrong. Crowley feels it deep in his bones, the absence of warmth, the emptiness where something vital should be. Aziraphale’s warmth has always been his anchor, but now it feels like a lie, like something pretending to be real.

Aziraphale pulls back slightly, his gaze meeting Crowley’s with an intensity that sends a shiver down his spine. “We said what we had to say yesterday, remember?” he whispers, his voice soft, but the words heavy with unspoken truths. “It’s done, my dear.” He kisses Crowley’s hand again, the coldness like a knife to Crowley’s heart. “Now we just have to keep going and see what happens.”

Crowley feels his heart twist at the words. Keep going? The question hangs between them like a stone. How could he go on, knowing that at any moment, the coldness might take over, that Aziraphale’s life might slip away, like sand through his fingers? How could he keep living in a world where any breath might be the last?

“Keep going?” Crowley repeats, his voice raw with emotion. “You want me to just go on, knowing I could lose you at any second? That any moment might be your last?” His hands tighten around Aziraphale’s, his fingers pressing into the cold skin, trying to hold on, trying to do something—anything—that might stop the inevitable.

Aziraphale gazes at him, soft and steady, though Crowley sees the weariness in his eyes, the fragility beneath the calm. “I’m here now, Crowley,” he whispers, his voice carrying a quiet, almost tragic certainty. “I’m still here.”

“But for how long?” Crowley’s voice cracks, the words slipping from him like sand through a sieve. He can’t stop the tremor in his voice, the panic that tightens around his chest. “How much longer before…” He can’t finish, his breath catching in his throat, his chest constricting under the weight of the unspoken. His grip on Aziraphale’s hands tightens, desperate, as though holding on tighter could keep the inevitable at bay.

“Remember what I told you yesterday,” Aziraphale says softly, his voice imbued with a quiet strength that Crowley can’t quite reconcile with the coldness in his touch. His eyes are gentle, but there’s a firm resolve there, the kind of determination that makes Crowley feel both comforted and frustrated. “Let’s make the most of the time we have left. Worrying won’t change anything right now.” His words are like a balm, meant to soothe, but they sting, too, because Crowley knows the truth buried in them—their time is slipping away, and there’s nothing either of them can do to stop it.

With a fluid motion, Aziraphale gives Crowley’s hand a tug, a silent invitation to follow, and Crowley moves almost automatically, his feet dragging slightly as though his body’s trying to delay the inevitable. Aziraphale leads him into the kitchen, the familiar hum of the backroom falling away as the warm, homely space embraces them in its quiet comfort. The smell of coffee lingers in the air, but it does little to erase the heavy, anxious weight that still clings to Crowley’s chest.

“Come now. Sit down. Just breathe, okay?” Aziraphale’s voice is still calm, still that gentle pull to something more grounded, more present. It’s almost maddening—the way he seems to accept everything with such grace, such peace when all Crowley can think of is the clock ticking away, each second closer to the end. Aziraphale releases his hand, and Crowley’s eyes linger on his retreating form as the angel moves through the kitchen with practiced ease, opening cupboards and retrieving mugs as if this is just another morning as if the world isn’t crumbling in slow motion around them.

“Coffee?” Aziraphale asks, his back turned as he busies himself with the preparations.

Crowley nods, but the action feels hollow, the sound of it a thin echo in the stillness. He can’t tear his eyes away from Aziraphale, the fluidity of his movements unsettling in its normalcy. It’s so strange, so disorienting, to see the angel functioning as though nothing is wrong when everything feels so terribly, undeniably wrong. The sense of detachment gnaws at him—like he’s floating, disconnected, watching this moment unfold from a distance.

“I can’t just…” Crowley’s voice breaks the silence, raw and jagged. His words feel like they’re being pulled from somewhere deep inside, something ugly and vulnerable. “Sit here and enjoy our time together, knowing…” His throat tightens, the words strangled with an emotion that refuses to settle. “Knowing that every moment could be our last.”

The words hang in the air between them, thick with fear and pain, but Aziraphale doesn’t flinch. He doesn’t turn away. Instead, he finishes making the coffee with the same unhurried precision, then carries the steaming cup over to Crowley, setting it gently in front of him. The warmth of the cup contrasts sharply with the chill that still lingers in Crowley’s veins, the tension that hasn’t yet loosened its grip.

Aziraphale pulls out a chair and sits down beside him, the movement smooth, almost comforting. For a moment, they’re both silent, the weight of everything unspoken pressing on them like a heavy, suffocating blanket. Then Aziraphale speaks again, his voice soft but unshakable. “The more you focus on that fear, the less you’ll appreciate the time we have.”

His words cut through the silence, and they settle into Crowley’s mind like stones dropped into water, sending ripples through the chaos in his chest. It’s not what Crowley wants to hear—not at all—but there’s something about the way Aziraphale says it, with that same quiet conviction that has always grounded Crowley in a way he’s not sure he understands, that makes him stop and think.

Crowley looks down at the cup in front of him, the steam rising in delicate tendrils, and for a moment, he allows himself to inhale deeply, the rich scent of the coffee filling his lungs, pulling him away from the frantic, spiraling thoughts. The world feels still, as if time has bent around them, waiting, uncertain. But no matter how much he tries to center himself in the present, the fear lingers, clawing at the edges of his mind. Every moment could be their last.

“You don’t understand,” Crowley mutters, the words barely above a whisper. He takes a sip of the coffee, the bitter warmth hitting his tongue like a small comfort, a brief distraction. But it doesn’t change the heaviness in his chest, the pit of dread that refuses to let go. “I can’t just forget about it. I can’t just…” He trails off, his voice faltering, before adding, softer, “I can’t lose you.”

Aziraphale doesn’t say anything at first, his eyes searching Crowley’s face, reading the depth of the fear that lingers there. His fingers move to rest lightly on Crowley’s hand, the touch tender but insistent. There’s a stillness in him that Crowley can’t quite understand, a quiet acceptance that doesn’t sit right with the storm of panic inside him.

“Then don’t,” Aziraphale finally says, his voice low, a thread of sadness woven through his words. “Don’t lose me. Not yet. Not here.”

Crowley wraps his hands around the cup, the warmth of it almost mocking as his fingers tremble around the edges. The heat is a stark contrast to the chill gnawing at his insides, and he presses it to his lips, taking a sip without truly tasting it. The burn on his tongue barely registers—his mind is too consumed with the weight of everything else to care about something so trivial.

As he lowers the cup, his eyes find Aziraphale, and in that moment, the frustration he's been holding back finally boils over. He doesn’t even try to hide the sharpness in his voice, the edge that has been growing with each passing second. “You can’t just expect me not to worry,” he spits out, his chest tightening with the sting of helplessness. “You can’t be so… accepting of your own fucking death. It’s… it’s not fair.”

Aziraphale doesn’t flinch, doesn’t pull away from the heat in Crowley’s words. Instead, he places his hand on Crowley’s forearm, the coolness of his touch seeping through the fabric of his shirt, sharp and unmistakable. The contrast of it hits Crowley like a punch to the gut, a reminder that nothing is normal, nothing is safe. The weight of Aziraphale’s touch is gentle, but there’s a certain finality to it that makes Crowley want to recoil.

“What else can I do?” Aziraphale murmurs softly, his voice as calm and steady as ever, almost too calm. His thumb moves in slow, deliberate circles on Crowley’s arm, as though the gesture alone can somehow fix everything. “I’d rather focus on living—on cherishing you while I still can, reading the books I still can read—than worry over what may or may not come.”

The words fall over Crowley like cold water, and for a moment, they don’t make sense. He watches Aziraphale, still not entirely grasping the serene acceptance that emanates from him, the angel so resigned to a fate Crowley can’t even begin to wrap his mind around. He wants to scream, to shake Aziraphale, to make him see reason, to make him *fight*. But the words that come out instead are hoarse and raw, brittle with frustration. “You could… try. You could look for some way to fix this, to—”

He falters, the rest of the sentence dying on his tongue. The weight of Aziraphale’s cold hand on his arm pulls him under, like sinking into the deepest part of the ocean. He can barely breathe as he looks at Aziraphale, really looks at him, and for the first time in a long while, something like doubt, something sharp and ugly, pricks at his heart.

Aziraphale’s expression is unreadable as he stares back, that familiar calm still settling around him, but Crowley can see it now—the faintest tremor in the angel’s eyes, a flicker of something deeper, something resigned. It’s that same quiet acceptance, but now it feels different. It feels like… giving up.

Crowley feels his chest tighten with something dark and unbearable. His breath catches in his throat. “But you’ve already… given up, haven’t you?” His voice cracks on the words, the realization settling on him like a weight he’s been carrying for far too long. He doesn't want to admit it, but he knows it now, deep in his bones. He knows that Aziraphale isn’t fighting anymore. And that thought, that cruel truth, makes his stomach churn with helplessness.

Aziraphale doesn’t look away. His hand lingers on Crowley’s arm, but it’s colder than it should be, colder than Crowley remembers. “No,” Aziraphale says softly, his voice steady despite the weight of Crowley’s words. “I haven’t given up. I’ve simply chosen to live as fully as I can for however long I have left.” His gaze doesn’t waver, and Crowley feels the weight of that look, like the angel is daring him to understand, to accept it. But all Crowley can think about is the absence of hope in those eyes, the stillness that has settled in Aziraphale’s soul. It cuts deeper than anything he could say. Aziraphale shakes his head slowly, almost as though trying to rid himself of the weight of Crowley’s words. His voice is softer this time, but the strength in it is undeniable. “I haven’t given up, Crowley. I’m still waiting for the right moment to meet with Raphael—to finally get concrete answers about what's happening to my core, my True Form…” He takes a slow, steadying breath, as if gathering every last bit of strength. His grip on Crowley’s forearm tightens ever so slightly, a silent anchor. “But… the risk of it all… It’s real. I can’t just live my life in fear.”

The words hit Crowley like a stone sinking in his gut. His chest tightens painfully, the breath in his lungs becoming thick, difficult. He sets his mug down with a soft clink, the sound somehow more jarring than it should be. The porcelain seems too delicate in his hands, too fragile for the weight of what Aziraphale is saying. “So, we’re just… waiting?” he asks, his voice rough. “Waiting for this thing inside you to slowly eat away at you until… until everything is completely gone?”

He reaches out for Aziraphale’s hand, his fingers trembling, but he grips it firmly, unwilling to let go. His touch is desperate, as though holding on to this one moment, this one piece of Aziraphale, might somehow stop the inevitable.

Aziraphale’s hand trembles beneath his grip, and the sight of it breaks something in Crowley. He swallows hard, forcing down the bitterness rising in his throat. “We wait… until Raphael can get me to Heaven and do a thorough examination,” Aziraphale says quietly, the words almost a whisper, as though speaking them aloud makes them too real to bear.

Crowley’s knuckles whiten with the intensity of his grip, his breath coming in shallow bursts. “And if he finds there’s no cure?” he forces out, his voice cracking as he dares to ask the question he’s been too terrified to face. “If he tells you that your core is… is set on destroying you?”

Aziraphale meets his gaze without flinching, the sorrow in his eyes as clear as the day itself. “Then… we’ll have to accept it.” His voice is steady, but Crowley can hear the hesitation, the barely contained fear beneath it. He leans in closer, his forehead almost touching Crowley’s. “That’s why we need to cherish this time we have now, Crowley.”

But the words only make Crowley’s chest tighten even more, as though an invisible weight is pressing down on him, squeezing the air out of his lungs. “You say that like it’s easy,” he rasps, his voice breaking with the rawness of his emotions. “Like I can just… sit here and enjoy each second, knowing it might be your last. That… that at any moment you could be gone.”

Aziraphale raises his cold hand, gently cupping Crowley’s chin, his fingers sending an icy shock through him. The touch is tender, almost too tender, and yet it leaves Crowley feeling more alone than ever. “If it comes to that, you’ll regret not making the most of the time we had,” Aziraphale murmurs, his voice soft but filled with a quiet urgency, as though he’s begging Crowley to understand.

Crowley’s heart aches at the angel’s words, the raw pain in his chest spreading like wildfire. He stares into Aziraphale’s eyes, searching for the warmth he’s always known, but all he can see is that cold acceptance. The thought of losing him is like a jagged knife twisting in his soul. His voice is hoarse as he finally speaks, his words trembling with emotion. “Enjoy what, angel?” he whispers. “Living each moment terrified it might be the last? Knowing you could… disappear, just… just like that?”

His voice catches, and he swallows hard, fighting to keep himself together. The ache in his chest is unbearable, and yet it pales in comparison to the crushing fear that threatens to swallow him whole.

Aziraphale brushes his cool thumb over Crowley’s lower lip, the touch soft, almost tender, but it feels like a cruel reminder of everything they stand to lose. “That’s why you have to push those fears aside. Live in the moment.” He gives Crowley a sad smile, his gaze searching the demon’s face as though trying to piece together a way to make him understand. “I’m here right now. I don’t want you looking at me and already seeing a memory… while I’m still right here.”

Crowley’s heart aches at those words, a heavy, suffocating ache that feels like it might split him open. He closes his eyes, a fresh wave of tears threatening to break free, but he keeps them at bay. The thought of Aziraphale slipping away, of losing him before he’s even had the chance to truly *live* with him, is more than Crowley can bear.

“How am I supposed to do that, angel?” he whispers, his voice cracking with the weight of it all. “How can I just act like everything’s normal when I know it’s… it’s not?”

Aziraphale leans in, his lips pressing a kiss to Crowley’s forehead, and then another, gentle and lingering, on his cheek. The kiss is cold—so painfully cold— the warmth of Aziraphale’s breath against his skin is the only warmth left in him. “Why?” Aziraphale asks softly, his voice almost a plea. “Why do you look at me here, right next to you, and already think I’m gone?”

Crowley’s eyes remain closed, but a fresh wave of emotion surges up from deep within him, breaking free in a burst of frustration. “Because I’m terrified!” he snaps, his voice a harsh rasp. “Because the thought of losing you… it’s unbearable. And I feel so… so helpless, knowing I can’t stop it.”

The words come crashing out of him, raw and unfiltered, and as soon as they’re spoken, he feels them settle in the air between them like a weight neither of them can escape. Aziraphale doesn’t pull away, doesn’t recoil from the outburst. Instead, he just stays there, his cool hand still cradling Crowley’s cheek, as though trying to hold him together even when everything feels like it’s falling apart.

Crowley opens his eyes, and the sight of Aziraphale, with his eyes wide and sad, feels like a cold slap. There’s anguish in his gaze, a raw, unrestrained dread clinging to every feature. His heart aches, and his words catch in his throat, the simple act of breathing becoming a struggle. “Seeing you like this—feeling how cold you are…” he begins, his voice shaking. He swallows hard, and when he speaks again, the words come out in a ragged whisper. “It’s like you’re already slipping away from me.”

Aziraphale steps back just slightly, and with the gentleness that only he can muster, he reaches up and wipes away Crowley’s tears with his cold fingertips, the chill of his touch cutting through the rawness of the moment. His eyes are tender but laced with sorrow. “You’re grieving me before I’m even gone, Crowley,” he murmurs, his voice quiet, almost too soft. “This is why I didn’t want you to know.”

The weight of Aziraphale’s words presses down on Crowley, settling deep into his chest like lead. His throat tightens, making it hard to breathe, hard to speak. Aziraphale’s voice drops to a whisper, laced with something deeper, a sadness that feels almost like resignation. “You’re looking at me, but you’re not really seeing me anymore, are you? In your mind, I’m already dead, aren't I?”

Crowley feels a sharp ache slice through him, a twisting pain that threatens to overwhelm him. He tries to form words, tries to push through the suffocating knot in his chest, but they come out cracked and broken. “I see you, angel. I do.” His voice falters, and his eyes begin to burn. “But I can’t forget that you’re… that you’re not well. That you’re not…” He trails off, his voice a mere breath, as if he’s afraid to even say the words.

He looks at Aziraphale, really looks at him—searching, searching through every inch of that familiar face, the one he’s known for over six thousand years. But now, those features seem different. Fragile. Temporary. Like they could vanish in a blink. Like they’ve never been more precious, and yet so delicate.

Aziraphale gently runs his fingers down Crowley’s jawline, as if touching him like he would one of his most treasured books—careful, reverential, and full of a quiet, unspoken sadness. “I may be the one who’s sick,” Aziraphale says softly, his thumb brushing over Crowley’s skin, “but you’re the one leaving me before I’m even gone.”

Crowley’s heart gives a painful lurch, the air catching in his chest. He fights to breathe, but it feels like there’s too much weight pressing on his lungs, too much hurt lodged in his ribs. “I can’t help it, all right?” he spits out, his voice cracking like shattered glass. He grips Aziraphale’s wrists, holding on like a lifeline, the coldness of the angel’s skin sinking deep into him, grounding him in the unbearable reality of it all. “Every time I look at you, it feels like I’m standing at the edge of an abyss, just waiting to fall.”

Aziraphale’s gaze drops to where Crowley’s hands are clenched around his wrists, his breathing shaky now, like he’s caught between something painful and something beyond his control. “Crowley…” His voice is hesitant, breaking in places, though his words are measured. “You can’t go on like this.” He pulls back, just enough that the space between them feels unbearably large. “You’re torturing yourself by staying with me. Every time you look at me, all you see is what’s coming—and that’s going to destroy you too. I won’t let you do that to yourself.”

Crowley’s chest tightens painfully as Aziraphale carefully, deliberately pulls his wrists free from his grasp. The loss of that contact—the absence of the only thing that’s felt real in this moment—almost knocks the air from him. Aziraphale takes another step back, and the space between them seems to stretch, pulling Crowley’s heart with it.

“You should go.” Aziraphale’s voice is soft, but there’s no mistaking the finality in it. The words strike Crowley like a blow, the weight of them enough to shatter him entirely. Every instinct in him screams to hold on, to keep fighting, to do whatever it takes to stop this. But Aziraphale’s eyes—those kind, eternal eyes—hold his gaze, and for the first time in forever, Crowley isn’t sure whether he’s staring at the angel he’s loved for millennia, or the ghost of the man he’s losing.

Crowley stands frozen, his mind struggling to make sense of the situation, his heart beating erratically in his chest. He can’t believe what he’s hearing, can’t comprehend the words that just came out of Aziraphale’s mouth. The ground beneath him feels like it’s slipping away, pulling him into a void he doesn’t know how to escape from. His voice trembles as he whispers, barely managing to get the words out. “What..? You… you’re telling me to leave?”

Aziraphale doesn’t turn to face him, but Crowley can feel the weight of the moment pressing down on him like a thousand-pound stone. He swallows hard, his throat dry. “You can’t be serious. You’re asking me to leave you now, when you’re… when you’re like this?”

The silence between them is deafening, broken only by the sound of Aziraphale’s slow, measured breaths. Finally, Aziraphale stands, his posture stiff and fragile, as though each movement is costing him something precious. His heart is pounding in his chest, every beat a reminder of the pain he’s trying to keep buried. The sound of it echoes in Crowley’s mind like a ticking clock. He can see the anguish in Aziraphale’s eyes even without looking directly at him. “I can’t watch you tear yourself apart like this, Crowley,” Aziraphale says quietly, his voice a little too controlled, too careful. “I can’t keep looking into your eyes and seeing you staring past me, into a future that hasn’t even happened yet.”

He walks toward the sink, taking Crowley’s empty mug and placing it with mechanical precision in the basin, as though it’s the only thing he has control over right now. “Go.”

Crowley stumbles, his body aching as he tries to steady himself, his legs weak, unsteady. He feels as though the floor is slipping out from beneath him. “No,” he says, his voice rough, desperate, and it cracks at the end like a dying breath. “No, angel. You can’t… you can’t tell me to leave. I can’t just walk away, knowing you might…”

His voice trails off, his chest tight with fear, with a dread that he can’t push away. “I won’t leave you, angel. I can’t.”

Aziraphale doesn’t turn to him. His voice comes cold and distant, like an echo from a faraway place. “Why?” he asks, his eyes never leaving the sink, his voice as measured and distant as a thought long past. “Is it because you love me, or because you’re feeling guilty?”

Crowley feels the words hit him like a slap, the coldness of them sinking deep into his skin. His heart clenches painfully at the accusation, at the ice in Aziraphale’s tone.

“Both,” he admits, his voice cracking, rough with the weight of the truth. “Of course, both. I love you. I’m in love with you, and I can’t bear the thought of losing you.” He takes a step forward, though the space between them feels impossibly wide, like a chasm he could never cross. “Sitting here, absolutely powerless, is driving me fucking insane, Aziraphale.”

But Aziraphale doesn’t move. He remains still, picking up a dish towel and methodically drying the mug as if the act of cleaning is the only thing keeping him grounded. His voice, when it comes, is soft but unyielding. “Leave.” He dries the mug with a slow, deliberate motion. “If you truly love me, come back when you can look at me without seeing my True Form being destroyed. Come back when you can see me.”

Aziraphale turns then, his face streaked with tears, and Crowley’s chest constricts painfully at the sight. “The angel who’s still here,” Aziraphale says, his voice catching. “Not just an empty shell.”

Before Crowley can say a word, Aziraphale turns again, his movements precise, almost mechanical as he places the mug back in the cupboard. “But if you realize your reason for coming back is just fear and guilt—not love—then don’t return.” His voice remains steady, but there’s a subtle break, like a crack in glass, that Crowley can barely hear. Still, Aziraphale doesn’t look at him. He closes the cupboard door with a soft click, and the sound echoes in the stillness of the room.

Crowley stands there, his heart a tangled mess of emotions, his chest tight, suffocating. He wants to argue, to fight, to deny everything Aziraphale just said. He wants to scream, to tell him that this isn’t right, that he can’t leave him like this. But deep down, he knows Aziraphale is right—his love, tangled as it is with fear and guilt, isn’t enough to change the inevitable. He isn’t strong enough to fix what’s broken.

Aziraphale brushes past him then, moving toward the hall. For a brief moment, Crowley catches sight of the tears streaming down Aziraphale’s face, streaking down his cheeks, disappearing into the collar of his coat. The sight of it sends a knife of pain through Crowley’s chest. He wants to reach out, to pull Aziraphale close, to tell him that none of this is fair—that he can’t lose him—but his limbs feel as if they’re weighed down with lead. His heart is an anchor, pulling him deeper into the darkness of helplessness.

Aziraphale’s figure is distant, slipping away, and Crowley feels that cold void widening between them. And in that moment, despite every instinct screaming at him to reach out, to fight for them, he feels the weight of a loss that hasn’t even happened yet.

Crowley stands frozen in the middle of the kitchen, the weight of Aziraphale’s departure pressing down on him. He watches the angel’s retreating figure, each step a reminder of the growing chasm between them, an abyss he feels powerless to cross. The silence in the room is deafening, and every breath Crowley takes seems to echo louder in the emptiness

A faint metallic sound slices through the quiet, drawing Crowley’s attention downward. His eyes fall on the Bentley’s keys, lying innocently on the kitchen table. Aziraphale must have miracled them there—another sign of the angel’s quiet control, even in the midst of his own heartache. The keys glint in the dim light, a small, seemingly insignificant object that suddenly feels like everything.

Crowley feels a wave of emotions crash over him, each one more overwhelming than the last: a searing anger, raw and unjust, directed at Aziraphale for pushing him away; a deep confusion, questioning everything that’s brought them to this point; a heart-wrenching hurt, knowing that Aziraphale is slipping away, piece by piece; and a sorrow so profound, it makes the air feel thicker, harder to breathe. But there’s one feeling that cuts through it all—a deep, hollow acceptance. He knows this is the way it ends. He knows he can’t stop it, no matter how much he wants to.

He picks up the keys, clutching them tightly in his hand, feeling their cool weight anchor him to the present. Without a second thought, he snaps his fingers, summoning the pair of shades from Aziraphale’s nightstand. He places them on his face, the familiar, dark lenses a mask he can hide behind. The world outside the shop suddenly feels sharper, colder, and yet somehow farther away. The door swings open with a heavy, final sound, and he steps outside into the crisp November air.

The cold cuts through him, biting at his skin, but he doesn’t feel it. He’s numb, each step feeling like it’s dragging him through quicksand. His mind is consumed with Aziraphale—his face, his words, the unspoken pain that lingers between them. But the more he thinks about it, the more it all becomes a blur. His mind is spinning, trapped in a vortex of grief and helplessness.

When he reaches the Bentley, his hands shake as he fumbles with the keys, his fingers betraying him, too unsteady to get the door open. He grits his teeth, frustration rising in him like a storm, but finally, the door clicks open. He slides into the driver’s seat, the familiar leather creaking under him, and the cold touch of the steering wheel does nothing to ground him. His fingers wrap around it, gripping it too tightly, as though trying to hold onto something that’s slipping through his fingers.

The engine rumbles to life, a low growl beneath him, but it feels distant, hollow. He pulls away from the curb, his foot heavy on the gas. The city stretches out before him, its lights blurring in the rearview mirror, but everything feels like a dream—too surreal to grasp, too far away to hold onto.

Tears burn at the corners of his eyes, and for the first time in what feels like forever, Crowley willingly lets them fall, his vision a mess of blurry streetlights and the endless dark of the road ahead. The tears come in waves—familiar, aching, unstoppable. There’s no destination. No plan. No reason for driving, except to escape the suffocating weight of what’s left unsaid, of what’s been broken beyond repair.

The city blurs past him, its sounds muffled and distant, as he drives aimlessly through the night, trying, and failing, to outrun the heavy, suffocating grief pressing down on him.

[theognatster]

good boy, s.r

Spencer Reid x older! reader

warnings: no actual sex, just teasing, age gap, dom! reader, sub! Spencer

You remember when Spencer first joined the BAU, the ripe age of 21. You were 26, and you noticed the young agent, look at you like you were a goddess. When he first started, he followed you around like a puppy almost, believing that you held all of the answers. Because, in his mind, he thought, someone like that..who God must’ve made perfect, must have all the answers. You didn’t.

Now, he was 25, you were 30. He still looked at you like a goddess. Just, more so when you weren’t looking. Over the years, you grew to find him attractive, he was always attractive. Just more so now, that his hair grew to frame his face, and he became slightly more confident in himself.

All the slight confidence went down the drain..especially when you were in control.

He whimpered, as he begged for your lips to come back. “wait for me honey..” you whispered, trailing your soft hands down his bare torso. His hands started to shakily unbutton your lavender top. You smack his hands, and he whined like a puppy getting in trouble. “bad boy..what did I say?” you whispered, holding his wrists in both of your hands. They were no longer soft, and gentle, instead now they were rough, and demanding.

“to..to wait for you..” he muttered, embarrassed. A pink tint of shame covered his pale face. “hm..good boy..” you said to him, leaving soft kisses around his jawline. he let out a shaky breath and tried to catch his glasses before they slipped off his nose, because he wanted to see you so bad. you remove the contact of your lips, and grabbed his glasses from the hook of his nose, and put them on, leaving them slanted, almost like a stern schoolteacher would wear them.

“my, my..you’re really blind, aren’t you Reid..?” you noticed, taking in the difference in your usual eyesight and his glasses. “y..yes..” he muttered quietly. “Can you see me..?” you asked. “N..no..” he sighed. “Oh..but you want to..don’t you..?” You teased softly, going for his brown, leather belt. “y..yes please..” he whispered, needing to see you badly.

“be a good boy..and let your imagination take over..” you whispered, unbuckling his belt, unbuttoning his brown pants, and spotting the waistband of his boxers.

“..good boy..” he muttered, breathing shakily.

“good boy..” you smirked, pulling down his pants..

a/n: oops! kinda teased u guys!! 🫶

a/n: dividers by: the lovely @strangergraphics

[sevikasslut4life]

Looking In The Mirror

Sevika x fem!reader

Warnings: insecurities mentioned, body image issues, slight mention of ed, that's all I can think of rn

A/N: I wrote this while I wasn't feeling the best, so sorry if there's any bad spelling or ect, hope u enjoy!

There she was, N/N was standing right in front of the mirror inside her and her wifes bedroom. She looked at her body with disgust, why would Sevika, one of the toughest women in Zaun want her? The thoughts rushed in as she pinched and poked at her flaws. Perhaps she was too lost in them to hear Sevika coming back home from work. She called out for N/N but nothing was heard. She slowly walked up the stairs, hearing the terrible words from her wifes mouth. "Why would she choose me..? She's always around the most beautiful, thinnest women ever.." N/N whispered to herself, her soft lips pouting as she looked in the mirror, how badly she wanted to punch it and break the glass. Sevika's eyes widened but soft as she glanced at the sad sight before her. How could N/N say that? To her, N/N was the most beautiful, angelic women in this shitty world. She knew she needed to stop this before it got worse. "Maybe I'll stop.. I'll stop eating and look thinner like the girls at the brothel.." N/N whispered to herself as she sighed. Sevika's eyes narrowed as she stepped forward into the bedroom. "Like hell you are," Sevika grumbled as she walked towards N/N, her eyes widening as Sevika looked down at her. "Listen, darling.. You're the only one I want. You're beautiful just as you are.. I would kill just to have you in my arms for a night. I'll keep calling you perfect until you finally get it through that pretty head of yours.." Sevika murmured, pulling N/N close as she kissed the top of her head, slowly leading her to the bed. "Sevika, honey.. This isn't necessary, y'know?" N/N whispered softly as she layed back on the bed, feeling her wifes arm and mechanical one wrapping around her gently. "Cause I need you to see what I see.. The goddess inside you.." Sevika whispered into her ear, kissing down her neck as she whispered sweet nothings to her dear wife all night long.

[swiftiethatlovesf1]

A race for love p.15

Hii guyss, I hope you enjoy this part. If you've missed part 14 or the other parts you can find them on my masterlist :)

Formula 1 is all about speed, but in this story, the real race isn't just on the track. Read on to find out who will win the ultimate race-for your heart.

- Spa 2023 -

Race day in Spa has the paddock buzzing with energy, especially with a massive wave of Max fans taking over. The sea of orange flags and cheering crowds are electric, creating a wild atmosphere that only adds to the pressure and excitement in the air. You've been running around the McLaren motorhome all morning, lending a hand wherever it's needed, keeping track of the endless details that keep the day moving smoothly.

As the race unfolds, though, things don't go as planned for McLaren. Oscar struggles with the car and ends up finishing last, while Lando manages to place seventh but isn't particularly pleased with the result. The mood in the motorhome is a mix of disappointment and exhaustion. As the post-race interviews begin and everyone is occupied, you slip out of the motorhome and make your way to the F2 and F3 paddock, eager to catch up with friends before the day ends.

When you arrive, you see Franco chatting with some of his team, and a smile spreads across his face as soon as he notices you.

As you settle into Franco's embrace, the weight of the morning starts to slip away. His arms around you feel like the first bit of peace you've had all day.

"Alguien está cansada," he murmurs, a soft smile playing on his lips as he holds you close. "You've been running around all day, haven't you?"

(Someone is tired)

You nod, letting out a tired sigh. "It's been non-stop, honestly. And with the race going so badly, the McLaren motorhome is just... tense. No one knows what to say to each other."

Franco tightens his arms around you, resting his chin gently on your head. "Lo siento, mi amor," he says, his voice warm and soothing. "I get it. My race wasn't great either; we just didn't have the pace, and it's hard not to feel... a bit useless, you know?"

(I'm sorry, my love)

You look up at him, sympathy filling your gaze. "I know it's not what you wanted," you say softly, reaching up to brush a strand of hair back from his forehead. "But I also know you did your best, and there'll be more races, better ones. I'm always here cheering for you, win or lose."

He gives you a small, grateful smile. "Gracias, hermosa. You know... it really helps, knowing you're here, even on days like this."

(Thanks, beautiful)

For a moment, you both stand there, wrapped in each other, blocking out the noise of the paddock. The world feels smaller, quieter, and safer. Franco lets out a soft sigh as he runs his hand soothingly along your back, his words gentle. "I don't think I've ever looked forward to seeing someone so much. Tú me haces sentir mejor, just being here."

(You make me feel better)

The way he says it, his voice so tender and sincere, makes you smile. "You too, Franco," you reply, feeling the words settle warmly between you. "I didn't realize how much I needed this—just us, right here."

He kisses your forehead, pulling you even closer. "We'll take more moments like this, I promise. Nadie más, sólo tú y yo."

(No one else, just you and me)

You stay wrapped up in him, feeling a deep comfort you didn't realize you were missing. But after a few more quiet moments, you suddenly remember.

"Oh, I totally forgot," you say with a small laugh, pulling back slightly. "I need to return Ollie's sweatshirt."

Franco raises an eyebrow, a smirk forming. "Ah, el famoso Ollie," he teases, a hint of playful jealousy in his tone. "I'll come with you. I think I'd like to see his face when you give it back."

(Ah the famous, Ollie)

You laugh, linking your arm through his as you both head back towards the paddock, and Franco's lighthearted presence fills you with a renewed warmth.

As you and Franco finally spot Ollie, you call out, "Ollie!" He turns at the sound of your voice, a smile spreading across his face—until he sees Franco by your side. The warmth in his expression fades slightly, but he quickly covers it up as you approach.

"Hey! I wanted to give this back," you say, holding out his sweatshirt with a grateful smile. "It saved me last night, so thanks for that."

Ollie takes the sweatshirt, his smile returning. "Anytime. Glad it came in handy." His gaze shifts briefly to Franco, then back to you. "We had a blast last night—hopefully, we can do it again sometime."

Franco's arm slides casually around your shoulder, his thumb brushing gently against you. "Oh yeah, she told me all about it," he chimes in with a grin that doesn't quite reach his eyes. "Seems like you guys were having a lot of fun. Maybe next time, I'll join and see what's so entertaining."

The air between Franco and Ollie shifts, the tension barely noticeable to you, but an unspoken challenge passes between them as their gazes lock. Ollie's jaw tightens almost imperceptibly, while Franco's smirk lingers, his stance relaxed but his eyes holding steady.

Just as you're about to notice the shift in their expressions, your dad's voice crackles from your phone, snapping you back to the moment. "Where are you? I'm ready to go."

"Oh! Gotta go." You quickly step forward, hugging Ollie tightly. "See you next race," you say, smiling warmly at him.

Then, turning to Franco, you squeeze his hand as he pulls you into a brief, soft hug. "Catch you soon, princesa," he murmurs, a hint of affection in his voice as he presses a kiss to your forehead.

With a wave, you dash toward the F1 paddock, the lingering looks between Ollie and Franco fading from your mind as you hurry to catch up with your dad.

After you leave, Franco turns back to Oliver, his expression hardening as he faces him with a smirk. "So, in case it wasn't clear," he says, a hint of triumph in his voice, "we're together now. Maybe if you'd been faster, things would've been different." He shrugs casually. "But I guess that's what separates the winners from the rest, no?"

Oliver's jaw clenches, the shock in his eyes quickly replaced by anger. "You think just because she trusts you, I should? I don't," he retorts, voice low and simmering. "Maybe she's let her guard down around you, but I haven't. And just because she's with you doesn't mean I'm going anywhere, especially when there are still questions unanswered. I haven't forgotten those messages. Can you say the same?"

Franco's smirk fades slightly, but he holds Oliver's gaze with steady confidence. "Keep thinking whatever you want," he replies, unfazed. "You're only here because she hasn't told you to back off yet. And maybe she never will, but you're not her priority—I am." He leans in, dropping his voice. "So why don't you let her be happy, instead of clinging to something that's not happening?"

Oliver's hands ball into fists, but he keeps his voice calm. "As long as I have a reason to doubt you, I'm not going anywhere. Whatever's going on with those texts? Maybe she should be doubting you too."

Before Franco can respond, an engineer from his team calls him over, effectively ending the confrontation. He gives Oliver one last look, daring him to push back, before walking away.

Meanwhile, you're back at the McLaren motorhome, oblivious to the clash that just took place. You dive into your work, helping Lando's and Oscar's crews with post-race equipment checks and preparations before leaving. There's a hint of tension in the air, but you shrug it off, attributing it to the stress of the race day.

Tag list: @hs2016, @a-beaverhausen

[worldisahouseonfire]

This really helps to read. There's a lot of pressure in institutions and congregate living situations to make friends with the other people there. But I don't do well with this sort of nonconsensual setup, where I can't actually get away from the would-be friends if I need a break from them to evaluate how I'm feeling about an interaction or connection.

Reminds me of something from a RealSocialSkills post called 'Autism awareness for aides,' something like "honest loneliness is better than being surrounded by people who everyone says are nice but don't treat you well or think you are real."

And something Terry Pratchett wrote in 'I Shall Wear Midnight,' about how sometimes two people are both outcasts but come to find out, painfully, that they're not outcasts in the same/compatible ways.

In my experience Autistics can be way more different to each other than non-Autistics are to each other. All of us being outcasts, or treated as 'weird' by normative society, does not necessarily mean that we have anything in common other than our exclusion. And that by itself can be a very painful thing to bond over. Especially in the absence of any independent enjoyment of spending time with one another.

But it still hurts and feels extra-isolating to be in congregate settings with other socially rejected people, and see that they are able to make friends and connections with one another. Especially with the overwhelming (sometimes unspoken) narrative that the whole reason we're isolated and stuck in these places is some lack of arbitrary and universal 'social skills,' so failure to get along with people who have been arbitrarily thrown together with me feels like a sort of universal social death sentence. Like I will always be surrounded by people I don't want as friends, and this social failure will be All My Fault.

This is why, though, I am so glad that most of my life I have had a computer and reached out online for social connection. My closest friends are sometimes two or three timezones away, or even on the other side of the world, but they remind me that with the right people, I'm not a total social failure. And that spending time with other people doesn't have to feel like being in a car wreck -- uncertain what happened, afraid it was somehow my fault, wondering what lengthy consequences I might be facing, not even sure if I'm hurt or how badly.

My friends far away show me how it feels to be myself with people, to let the soft animal of my body rest in the (virtual) presence of others. And we do more for each other than anyone I know in meatspace, not because we feel obliged to, but because it makes sense.

Without my laptop, I would not survive congregate and institutional living situations. I would not keep fighting and striving to get out and stay out, and support my friends in all their efforts to break free and stay free from coercive shared living situations.

It makes sense to not always be able to make friends in settings and places not of our choosing. Where the only thing we may have in common with others there is our inability to leave, to make different choices who we spend our days with. In school, in employment, in families, in neighborhoods and sometimes housing, we often have limited pools of people with whom we interact. The chances of them being My/Your/Our People are ludicrously small.

I think it's okay for it to be harder to find friends. Especially as an adult, and especially when going through rough times. It's okay to not make friends with people you have to spend a lot of time around.

(I hope so, anyway. 'Cause where I'm living, and who I'm living with right now, is *not at all* where I want to be.)

“Because I could see that all these kids were weird and even they didn’t accept me, I knew I was the strangest one of all.”

—

Sean Barron, There’s A Boy In Here

Describing what happened to him in institutions.  I once attempted to describe this phenomenon in a book review of someone autistic who’d managed to make a lot of friends in institutions.  I was trying to just say our experiences had been different, but he somehow managed to take it as an insult, and to get his blog followers to write about how wonderful he was for being able to do something I hadn’t been able to do.  Which, of course, made me feel even worse: Other autistic people were able to make friends in institutions, so why were such experiences so few and far between for me? Was I defective somehow, even for an autistic person?  Was I showing how i wasn’t the right kind of autistic person, the kind who in their teens could somehow manage to make friends because they were so sweet and nice? 

I wasn’t sweet and nice, I was weird and strange and sticking out in all the wrong directions.  And many times, I would come to a mental institution and within seconds everyone would judge me to be the ward outcast.  I’ve talked to lots of autistic people who had this experience.  It turns out it’s not rare after all, and it doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with us, it just means we’re not among the rare autistic people who do manage to make lots of friends in such places.  And they aren’t better than us, and we aren’t better than them, we’re just different.  But it took me a long time to be able to see this, especially with grown parents of autistic children, who should’ve known better, harping on a very young adult autistic person for saying hir experiences were different than someone else’s.

(via autiequotes)

[dirtytransmasc]

[mild tw for marital rape/forced 'consent' its only referenced a little, but it feels necessary to mention it]

imagine Alicent only standing up for herself when Aegon is in the picture. Imagine her talking her son to her chambers cause he's fussy and won't go down for bed and was asking for his mum, and she has him tucked close, blissfully asleep, and Viserys calls for her.

she knows she can't refuse, but she tells the servant he had sent to make him aware of Aegon's state. he still demands that she be brought to his chambers and that the babe go back to his nursemaid. she looks down at her baby, who's now woken due to the disturbance, who is staring up at her with soft tired eyes, a little yawn escaping him.

she doesn't want to go, she doesn't want to be forced to take her husband, to pleasure him at her own discomfort. she doesn't want to leave her son, to have him sent back to bed where he will remain restless and in the care of someone who is not his mother. she had never want to refuse more than she did in that moment.

she hesitates, her facade falters. Aegon is still looking up at her as tears well up in her eyes. he quirks his head at her, fingers reaching for her cheeks as if to comfort her. with a sudden conviction, she takes him in her arms, rising from the bed, requesting a robe and a blanket. when her servant looks at her in question, she clarifies that she will be taking Aegon with her and does not wish to rouse him in attempts to dress him. they look at her with shock, but don't voice the concern written on their faces.

they bring her Viserys's favorite robe. Alicent recognizes it from her time with Rhaenyra and Aemma. she's worn it before, Viserys has made sure the servants bring it to her every time he requests her. she hates the way it feels against her skin, knowing why he makes her wear it. she wraps aegon in his blanket, soft and royal blue, his hands beginning to play with its golden tassles as she tucks him inside her robe, pressed to her chest with care.

even as fear bites at her heels, anxiety churning her stomach, she walks to Viserys's chamber with her held high. she knows she is only asking for her husband's wrath; she knows she should just obey him, but she just can't. her son will not suffer a sleepless night and horrid following day all because her husband feels the need to use her body once more. he will not suffer at his father's hands tonight, even if she has to endure Viserys's anger for it.

she enters her husband's chambers, finding him in bed, in a white night gown, clearly ready to use her; he was never subtle when he asked for her, not even the first time.

she pauses in the doorway, pulling back the robe slightly, making him aware of Aegon's presence. she watches his face fall, barely muted anger. she holds onto Aegon tighter. part of her fears he may hurt her for this disturbance, but more of her fears he will hurt Aegon on her behalf.

"I told the damned servants to take him," his voice is warped and cruel, just an angry scowl of sorts.

"Aegon is not well, dear husband... I could not leave him," she admits before he can say anything else. she puts her foot forward as a mother, hoping to claim mercy from the man who made her one.

he mutters something in response, not quite loud enough for her to hear. she has a feeling she is grateful for that.

"what was it you needed, my dear?" she tries to sound sweet and kind, in attempts to abate his anger, "I'm sure I could still attend to it."

"you know what I wanted," he yelled. it had been the first time he'd truly raised his voice to her. she couldn't help but gasp, stepping back one step, than two, stopping when Aegon began to fuss, curling around him instead.

"Please Viserys, the baby." she ducks her head down to press her against his whispy white hair. her son his huffing, as if about to cry, and she's sure if she could see his face, his little cheeks would be red and his eyes would be crinkled and wet, his lip puckered. she begins to rock him slightly, still afraid to move.

"your'e dismissed," he grunts, but his tone gives it away. she knows he doesn't mean it, the if she leaves she will be in more trouble. she questions staying, calling a servant to take Aegon and giving him what he wants, but decides against it. he would not come before her son, not now, not ever.

"I'm sorry, my dear, another night, when I do not have Aegon to tend to," she forces some cheer into her tone, "he is still so young, so helpless. he needs his mother. I'm sure you understand?"

"he is not the only one in need of you." he had not lost his anger yet. not even for the sake of his son.

"yes, of course. forgive me. only he is not as understanding as you, my love." that wasn't the truth, Aegon was more kind and understanding at a year old, than viserys was in all of his years. "I will leave now. I am sorry for the disturbance."

she pauses for a moment, waiting for her husbands reaction. when he doesn't lash out at her, she breathes a quiet sigh of relief, feeling as though she has evaded a great beast. her heart calms in her chest, slowing from its fluttering and her stomachs stops its dizzing ache. she questions turning and running, fleeing from his presence before he can change his mind, but knows better.

she hurries to his side, eyeing him all the while, each step calculated, avoiding cracking any eggshells, until she is close enough to kiss his cheek. he allows it, and gives Aegon grace when he reaches out for him, letting him play with his finger a moment, before pulling it away, not even turning away fully before sneering. she takes that as her cue to leave, this one being much more genuine than the last.

"goodnight dear husband." he says nothing. she takes Aegon's little hand, waving it slightly, "say goodnight Aegon."

her son tries to imitate her, though unintelligible, as a toddler would. she continues to smile and coo at him even when his father ignores him, not letting him feel his father's scorn, quickly turning towards the door and back to her own chambers.

the second the door is close she feels herself sag, she would have fallen to the floor right then and there had there not been kingsgaurd watching. instead she holds her head high once more, walking calm and steady, like a queen should.

Aegon settles his forehead against her collar, giving a great yawn against her skin. she smiles at him fondly, kissing his brow, earning a tired little giggle from him. it hits her that he is unaware of the trouble he just saved her from. she feels equal parts relief as she does terror; she hopes he never knows, never understands, but is so so thankful for it none the less.

the second she steps into her chambers she pulls of the robe, setting it aside carefully despite the pain it brings her, respecting the memories it carried. she pulls back the covers before smothering her and her son amongst them. he's quick to curl against her, quite tuckered out after their harrowing adventure, even if he was unaware of its true weight. she herself still wanted to cry, but was similarly too tired to keep her eyes open for another moment. tomorrow, she tells herself, tomorrow will be difficult, but tonight you have your son, tonight you have a chance to rest.

so she does, she holds him close, tracing fingers over the gold threaded patterned of his blanket, feeling the shifting of his chest as he breathes and the tickle of his hair against her neck. all is well in that moment. she drifts to sleep at the thought.

[416piastri]

day 31 of missing landoscar; thank u mclaren for the landoscar content on ig 🤞🏽

[localwebslingers]

The fact that he was getting that week off as a much needed break was already good, but it paled in comparison when Peter smiled as Harry pulled him into another kiss. One that was just as eagerly returned and matching the same energy behind it. Still leaving it in Harry's court to decide how far and how much, but whatever he was being given Peter was more than happy to return in kind. Still keeping both hands on him, pulled as close as they both would dare which by now had been pretty close. All the times spent cuddling up or draped over each other, ways to get that close contact they needed and wanted so badly, helped make things like this just that much easier.

If he wasn't so preoccupied with the kiss, if it wasn't just the second in so many months, Peter would have returned the same words of affection. For now, he would just try and make that clear by not pulling his lips away from Harry's a second sooner than they had to.

Again, it wasn't him to break the kiss but he stayed lingering close by anyways before having to pause at the question. There were a few ways he could answer that, especially if Harry was going to keep looking like that before kissing him more. Peter could smell the barely contained desire on him and only fed into his own wants that he was keeping reigned in. It was a step closer, one more, but it was still only a step for now. It wasn't quite enough to stop him from grinning slowly and giving a soft, playful nip at the air between them. As close as he would get to leaning in and kissing Harry again when he'd already pulled away to break it, "You..."

It wasn't subtle but it wasn't a lie either, and after lingering a moment longer just to see the reaction it would get, Peter settled back again slightly, "I did have one idea beforehand though, that was a little more involved than just a date or two." dates were another thing that had to shift slightly once Harry was changed. Dinner and crowded places weren't really the same kind of option, still weren't which was fine by him. A few things did work out to be alright. Date nights at home became popular, after that it was walking around the less busy areas once it got dark and maybe popping into a few shops that were open to look around. Peter committed to memory within the first few weeks which spots seemed to be Harry's favorites.

"The moon cycle is passed but, I thought for a few days maybe we could still go stay out at the cabin? Just the two of us, have a break from the city for a couple of nights." it wouldn't be the first time someone from the pack was there without it being the full moon, and Peter would have to technically clear it with Aunt May so that the pack knew where they were in case anything happened. If Harry had managed to get time away from Oscorp too, it was the closest to an actual vacation Peter thought they could realistically manage, "What do you think?"

|| @inhcritance ||

It hadn't been exactly a vacation, those days when Harry had still been in the process of getting used to his senses, to who he was now and the danger he represented and the way any of the living sung to him, to his hunger. And it had been exhausting, and tense, and yet so very welcome. Oh, fairly heartbreaking too, because being able to see Peter and yet being so worried about maybe hurting him had not been the best way to spend the days. But it had been necessary. It had made a big difference, over those first days.

And it had nothing in common, by now, with the way Harry felt almost fully comfortable there, with the way he could still taste their first kiss since he'd been turned, and it was just the first of many to come, and he hadn't lost control.

It made him yearn for so much more, because ambition had always burned bright in him, even now... but if this was as close to satisfaction as he could get, he'd gladly take it. Just as he'd take so much less for Peter, and just like he was still amazed with his boyfriend's patience.

And then the meaning of Peter's words dawned on him, a moment before he confirmed it, and Harry's grin came after a moment of welcome surprise.

"Oh, I love you so much." He whispered, before one of his hands reached to cup Peter's face, and then he pulled him into another a kiss. One a bit more daring, a bit more of a test of his limits, in a way... but very much moved by both joy and desire and also the knowledge that he'd already managed once.

The first hug had been the most difficult one. The first cuddle, just as well. So he was very much looking forward to making sure he got used to kissing Peter.

"I'm clearing my schedule as soon as it's not too early to call Felicia." He promised Peter, once he felt like he was pushing a bit too much his limits and so the kiss had to stop... which was far sooner than he'd have liked, but that was the way of things. And then, teasingly but also curious and serious both,

"What's on your mind for this week?"

@localwebslingers

[theprodigypenguin]

Dragon finally meets Luffy face to face and reacts as chill as you'd expect but on the inside he's just

[norrisgrl]

i feel people are sleeping on Dennis, like ughhh, just look at him