#THIS IS MY COMFORT CHARACTER *Shows you the character who had little to none comfort in their lives*
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i forgot to draw peridot n spinel but u know what I mean
#kinnies#messyr#doodle#Tfw u try ur best not to relate to a character sm u fail and get so obsessed w them fr#THIS IS MY COMFORT CHARACTER *Shows you the character who had little to none comfort in their lives*
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Die Screaming, Live Laughing
Danny/Tim, Cyan, Wind through tree branches/Windchimes @wisteriavines @darkstarsapocalypse (I saw you before you changed that! Twins!)
cw:bar parent fentons, more temporary character death, bones
The faint, mechanical whir under his fingertips as he spins the camera lens comforts Tim. The fiddling is familiar from the years of following Bats and crime across the city. The rooftops of Gotham are an environment that heâs far more familiar with than here. Here is nothing but endless trees and leaves.
Well, somewhere here is also the campgrounds and Bernard, Ives, Steph, and Cass; but thatâs far out of sight and almost out of mind. Itâs easy, as he listens to the wind rustle through the trees, to feel like nothing exists but the trees and Tim and his camera.
He spins the lens again.
Ostensibly, the four of them are in these woods to find Mothman. Which would be cool! But even Tim, who proposed this whole thing, knows that itâs just an excuse for the four of them to do something away from Gotham. To do something to make actual use of their summer between high school and college.
If Tim went to college, that is.
Heâd been accepted, sure, but he⊠he just didnât know if he wanted to. It felt like there were more important things to be doing than college. College was sitting in a classroom and listening to someone drone on about a subject that Tim could crash course himself on with the right library access in a month. It also meant new people and new noises and maybe even a new home. None of that sounds great, really. Moving in with Bruce to Wayne Manor had been enough change, thank you very much.
Timâs foot catches on something and he does a half step to keep his balance. He expects to see a tree root when he glances down. Itâs bone instead. Thatâs not⊠unexpected. They had already seen deer in the woods, the creatures got stupidly close to the campsite. It would make sense that with the big rains the few weeks before, there could have been old remains uncovered. But thereâs somethingâŠ
The dirt brushes away easily from the surface of the bone and, with a little digging, Tim is able to pull it free of the earth.
This isnât a deer bone.
Tim knows this shape.
This is human. A femur.
âYou have to be careful where youâre walking out here.â
Tim stands and spins, the femur held like his staff would be.
The speaker is leaning against a tree several feet away. The golden, setting sun backlights them, making them look almost angelic with how theyâre wreathed in light. Theyâre hard to look at.
âYeah, I guess so,â Tim says, plastering on a nervous smile that was only half for show. How did they sneak up on him? That should have been impossible with the leaves and branches scattered across the forest floor. âDo you run into animal skeletons a lot out here?â
âNot really,â they say with a shrug before they start forward towards Tim. Their steps are silent. âI donât really get around. And also, thatâs not an animal skeleton.â
âNo?â Timâs grip on the femur tightens. âHow do you know that?â
âHow? Well, thatâs because itâs mine!â
Tim swings.
The femur goes right through the stranger.
âSorry! Little intense, I get it!â They back up a step and raise their arms. The dappled sunlight shines right through their hand. Shines right through them like the stranger is just made out of gossamer. âI get it, but be careful with that, please? Itâs my arm! Or leg? No, leg.â
âLeg, itâs a femur,â Tim says, his mouth running without him as his brain works.
âLeg. Ancients, I miss having legs. And arms⊠and, well, anything solid really,â the stranger sighs. âI am sorry for scaring you. Just⊠itâs hard not to get a little intense when someone is holding one of my bones, you know?â
âOh shit! Thatâs right, sorry,â Tim stammers as he hurries to put the femur back down on the disturbed earth. âDo youâ I mean, should I rebury it? Did the rains washing away the earth, um, wake you up?â
âKinda?â They tilt their head as they crouch down next to Tim.
Itâs clear now, as they move a bit out of the light, how transparent they are. Itâs like in the shadow they lose tangency. Their hair is still just as blinding, being bright white in a way thatâs really beautiful. They reach out to touch the femur but stop short.
âIâm tied to my bones. Itâs why they dumped them all the way out here. After they killed me, I mean, all the way killed me, I haunted the fuck out of them. And yeah, sure, they could hurt this form of me too, but I always found a way out and then it all started again. Burying my bones was the only way to get rid of me, and those fuckers didnât even scratch me a headstone in the tree or anything. Some parents, huh?â
âHolyâ yeah,â Tim says. Looking back down at the other partially exposed bones he has to swallow back a wave of sadness. âIs that a yes to covering them up?â
âActually⊠Iâd like you to dig them up. Iâm not stupid enough to think Iâll get justice or whatever, but Iâd⊠Iâd like to be somewhere proper and under my name.â
âWhat is it? Your name?â
âDanny.â
âOkay, Danny,â Tim gives a little nod and starts digging. âMy friends and I will get you somewhere you feel safe. Iâm Tim, by the way.â
âThank you, Tim.â
Danny doesnât help dig. He canât, he explains as Tim and him talk. While his bones are buried, heâs not able to interact with them or else he would have gotten them out of there a long time ago. They learn together that as soon as the bones are free and set gently aside that Danny can touch them.
Tim never thought heâd see someone so emotional over a tibia, but Tim canât blame the guy. Tim figures heâd be emotional over his own bones too.
The big bones are the easiest. The ribs Tim is extra careful with. The fingers are weirdly like peanut shells in his hand. (Heâs not going to eat pb&j for weeks now.) Danny chats the whole time, asking Tim about the world. Tim feels wholly inadequate to catch someone up like that, but when conversation turns to technology Tim settles into a rhythm.
It also lets them figure out that while Danny died just shy of nineteen, heâs apparently spent almost two decades in the ground. He still looks just shy of nineteen. He looks like he should be in the forest for the same reason that Tim is, celebrating the end of one era and the start of the next. Danny should be looking to the future, not mourning it.
It makes Tim pause when he finally unearths Dannyâs skull. What would it have been like to see Danny smile? To hear him laugh without that faint echoing quality that he has as a ghost? To touch him?
âIâm sorry,â Tim says and holds out the skull. Dannyâs skull.
âThank you,â Danny whispers. His hands tremble as he reaches out towards the skull. He crumples forward before he can touch it, a sob tearing through him.
âIâll make sure youâre somewhere nice.
âThank you.â Danny lets out a breath he doesnât have and sags forward the last inch. His forehead bumps against the skull.
Then he keeps going forward.
The world explodes into light.
-
âTim?!â
âAre you sure heâs still alive?â
âYou can see him breathing, Bernard.â
âPulse.â
âTim!â
Tim gasps awake and blinks rapidly to clear his vision. His friends and sister stand clustered above him. It has gotten dark and their flashlights are blinding.
âYou okay?â Cass asks.
âOw.â
âYeah, heâs okay,â Steph sighs. âHey Tim, who the fuck is that?â
âWhaââ Fuck his head hurts. Who the fuck is who?
Oh, the person laying in his arms. The person whoâs solid and warm and alive.
Tim starts laughing.
âOkay, maybe a little not okay,â Steph amends.
âIs he ever?â Tim hears Ives mutter.
âGuys,â Tim interrupts them discussing his status once he can breathe again. âThis? This is Danny.â
âBeing alive again hurts,â Danny mumbles against Timâs neck and Tim canât help it, he just starts laughing again.
Being alive does hurt, but fuck if that isnât wonderful sometimes.
---
AN: So this one got away from me a little but, uh... tada? I was planing to have it all explained more, but once Danny didn't purposefully do it, that didn't fit. Basically all if his frankly absurd powers and as a ghost got jump started by his skull and Tim's lifeforce and tada? 100% pulled some from Tim's Gotham Knights character where he's an awkward little bean who is so not neurotpyical. Him and Bernard taking a vacation to hunt Mothman is from that too.
Anyways, stay delightful, darlings!
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FIFA | Leah Williamson x Reader
synopsis: you play FIFA
warnings: none. just fluff x
wc: 1.7k words
The late afternoon light filtered through the sheer linen curtains, casting a warm golden glow across the living room. You sat curled up on the couch, legs draped over Leahâs lap, idly scrolling through your phone. The rhythmic clicking of the Xbox controllerâs buttons was the only sound filling the room, a counterpoint to the quiet hum of the outside world.
All of a sudden, the clicking of the controller stopped. Leah nudged your leg, palm wrapping around one thigh and squeezing. âHey, babyâ she said, her voice light with a hint of something else. âWanna do something fun?â
You look away from your phone, arching one perfectly groomed eyebrow. Leah took a moment to admire you, dressed in your favourite Izaak Azanei pink shearling cuff button cardigan with the matching leggings. Leave it to you to be overdressed, even in the comfort of your own home.Â
âWhat do you have in mind?â you asked, letting her phone drop onto the sofa beside her. You were intrigued now.
âI was thinkingâŠFIFA,â The blonde said with a shrug, pushing her hair back as it falls over eyes. Her bangs haven't grown out just yet.
You blink up at her, slightly caught off guard. You had never shown the slightest interest in football or video games. You could barely remember the rules, let alone the offside rule.
But one thing about you, you were just as competitive as your professional footballer girlfriendâ if not even more.
âFIFA...?â you ponder over it for a moment. You were never one to back down from a challenge-- even football. âOkay, youâve got my attention. Letâs play.â
The big smile that took over Leahâs face couldâve blinded a man.
She squeezed the leg that was still draped over her lap, and grabbed the second controller that was conveniently left on the coffee table. She hands it to you, grinning when your hands awkwardly fumble around with the buttons.Â
Her competitive girl.
Rosy tinted lips settled into a pout, sweet wrinkles form across the middle of your forehead as you study the device in your hands. âLeeââ A huff leaves your lips. ââŠhow does this even work?â
Leah chuckled softly, leaning in to adjust your grip. Her fingers brushed skin. âOkay, first things first. You use the left stick to move your player,â Leah said, her voice gentle but firm. âTry it. Push it to the left.â
Your brows furrowed, lips curling in confusion as you nudged the left stick to the side. On screen, the character shuffled a few steps, the motion awkward and unsure, much like you when you went to your first couple of football matches. âIâmâ uh, not sure if Iâm doing it right,âÂ
Leahâs lips quirked into a soft smile as she leaned a little closer, unable to stop herself from touching you somehow. She lets go of one side of the controller and instead drapes it over your shoulder, fingers rubbing the little bit of exposed skin by her hip. âThatâs good. Youâre doing great, baby. Here, let me show ya.â Leah gently took your hand, guiding your fingers to the controller so you were holding it more comfortably.
âLike this,â Leah murmured, moving the stick smoothly, making the player glide across the pitch. âSee? Just a gentle nudge.â
You watched, captivated not by the moving avatar on the screen who looks eerily similar to Viv, but by the blonde shuffling closer beside you. After a year of dating, you should be used to this, but you weren't. Your heart still squeezed when you look at her.
It's almost ike when your Hermes sales associate pulled out your new Hermes Birkin 30 in Mauve Sylvestre Bag with Epsom Palladium Hardware.
Almost.
âOkay, I think I got it.â You pushed the stick forward a little more confidently this time. Your player jogged across the pitchâclumsy, but moving.
âThere you go, babyâ Leah praised, her eyes on you, soft with affection. âNow, letâs pass the ball.â She pointed to the âAâ button on the controller. âPress this to pass it. Lightly, okay?â
You pressed the button, and the ball rolled a few feetâstraight to the opposing team.
Leah laughed in pure, utmost affection. You couldnât help but admire the curve of her neck and the way her soft tendrils of her hair brushed against her cheek as her eyes met yours again. They were like crescent moons and you love the way her cheeks flush slightly the more she laughs.
One hand slides in between your knees, affectionately squeezing your inner thigh. âOkay, that was... a bit too light. But youâre getting there, babyâ
You bite your lip, shy now, tasting your favourite Summer Fridays lipgloss. âI swear Iâm trying,â you pout but nevertheless straightening your back to lock back in. âThis is harder than it looks.â
The blonde just smiles a secret smile. The scent dewy sweetness of pink peony and fresh lily of the valley mingling with the soft, delicate rosy smell of your hair. You feel her press a kiss against the crown of your head, her lips moving against your hair as her jokes âItâs okay, baby. Sometimes I pass it to the opposing team tooâ
Too soon.
You recall the last game where Leah accidentally kicked the ball to an opposing player and nearly assisted an equaliser. Luckily, the goal was saved.
You gasp playfully, looking up at her only to be met with her pretty blues. The skin around the corner of her eyes crinkle as she laughs with you. Leahâs ability to not take herself so seriously is one of your favourite things about her.Â
Turning back to the screen, you tighten your hands around the controller. âI think I might be terrible at this.â
âYouâre not terrible,â Leah insists. âYouâre learning. And thatâs what matters.â
After a few more attempts, you finally managed to pass the ball with some semblance of control, sending it to your own teammate. âLook, I did it!â you bellow, your voice filled with genuine pride. Stacks of Tiffany and Van Cleef bracelets jingle and jangle as you pump a fist in the air.Â
It was like when you scored your rare Dior Metallic Lambskin and Rose des Vents Satin bagâ but without having to swipe a card.
You press the right buttons, watching as your avatar on screen kicks the ball up the pitch. âThatâs what Iâm talking about! What a pass, baby!â Leah turns to you, throwing her arms in the air, before leaning in to give you a sweet kiss. When she pulls away, a shiny sheen of your lipgloss is left on her own lips.
She doesnât wipe it off.Â
You grinned at her, fully locked in now. You rolled up your pink shearling cuff sleeves up your arms, because this was serious now. âOkay, now letâs see if I can actually score a goal.â
âWoahâ okay, Messi. Lets see how you get dribbling firstâ
Reaching into the pocket of your pink joggers, you pull out your Summer Friday lipgloss, swiping it over your lips a few times. Leah just watches you with a small smile, your lip gloss still lingering on her bottom lip. You twist the lipgloss lid closed, pressing your lips together. âI can do this. Watch me.â
The Arsenal defender took that as her queue to sit back and observe as you focused back on the screen. The intensity in your gaze was almost palpable, and for a moment, Leah found herself mesmerised not by the game on the screen, but by you.
You pressed the âBâ button with a confident flick of your thumb, and watched as the ball sailed through the airâpast the defenders, past the keeperâand into the net.
You gasped as the wordsâ GOAL!â flashes on screen, eyes widening in disbelief. âDid I- did I just score?â
Leah was stunning. Her breath caught in her throat as she tried to make sense of what her girlfriend just did. âYou... you did,â she said, her voice barely a whisper, awestruck. âYou scored, baby. What a bloody good goal.â
Turning to her you gasp wide, sparkling eyes, lips parting in shock. Your curls bounce as you turn back to screenâ wanting to make sure it was realâ and then back to your girlfriend. âI... I really did? Oh my god--â
You squeal, jumping up from the sofa and clapping your hands. A breathless laugh escapes your lips as you twirl around in pure, unfiltered joy. Your eyes sparkle, cheeks flushed rosy with the thrill of victory, raising your arms raised in mock triumph. âIâm a footballer!âÂ
âOkay- okay donât come for my job just yetâ Leah reaches over, gently snagging your wrist and pulling you into her arms. You melt into her willingly, the controller slipping from your grasp as you both collapse into a tangle of laughter and affection, bodies close. The victory feels sweeter, somehow, in the warmth of her embrace.
âTold ya you could do itâ Leah murmurs, pressing a kiss against your forehead.Â
You laughed, burying your face into her chest, the familiar smell of her hoodie washing over you. âYeah, well, maybe Iâm not completely terrible at it.â
âI think youâre more than just ânot terrible.ââ Leah snuggles you closer to her, a hand sneakily creeping underneath your top. When did that happen, you have no idea. Unable to help it, you shiver slightly at the feel of her nails dancing across your back.
And of course she notices.
Her voice is low, teasing. âYouâre kind of a pro, actuallyâ
"Alexia Putellas better watch out" You say, haughtily. Your taunt is rewarded with her raspy laugh. She nuzzles her face into the crook of your neck, leaving a kiss on the spot where you neck meets your collarbone. "I'm coming for that Ballon Dior"
âBallon Dâor, babyâ not Diorâ
You look at her, the love of your life. Her pretty blue eyes, bright as they stare at you. She's got a small smile, head tilted slightly as her eyes roam your face. You blush at the intensity of her gaze, still not familiar to the privilege of getting to look at her every single day.
Leah pulls you to her so you're laying over her chest. You snuggle closer, bringing your knees up, and making yourself comfortable. "You should get one.."
An eyebrow raise. She presses her lips together, holding in a laugh. "Wha-- a Ballon D'or? Bit hard to do as a defender, love"
"No," You roll your eyes, petulantly. You shake your head. The soft swish of your hair moves, a playful flutter through your locks thanks to your freshly blow-out. "a Dior"
Leah laughs. The kind of laugh where she throws her head back, crinkles form by the corner of her eyes, and her entire body contorts, uninhibited, because of you. Itâs the curve of her neck, the subtle arch of their brow, the way her breath catches just before another laugh bursts free.
"C'mere" Her hand grasps the side of your neck, squeezing it gently, a few lingering chuckles leave her lips. She pulls you closer, pecking your lips once, then twice.
"Iâll get you your Ballon Dior"
back on my spoiled!reader x leah bs. she's just a girl (wants her Ballon Dior)
thank you to the anon who sent the request <333 i hope you love it even if i changed it a lil bit <333
ă»â„ă»- kisses, butter
*This work is my original creation. Please donât copy, share, or translate it without asking for my permission first. Thanks for respecting that!
#leah williamson#leah williamson x reader#woso#woso fanfics#woso x reader#woso imagine#woso blurbs#woso community#leah williamson imagine#my fics#woso one shot#leah williamson fanfic#leah williamson x you#spoiled!reader#spoiled!reader stories
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El classico
warning: none
characters: jude x reader
summary: when after a bad game, he seeks comfort in you
may contain spelling and translation errors!
The night after El Clåsico seemed to have been tinged with a weight too heavy to bear. The Santiago Bernabéu, which had previously been vibrating with the expectation of a victory, was now silent under the crushing defeat of 4-0. Jude could barely lift his face; the score was like a punch that had hit him straight in the heart, a mixture of humiliation and helplessness that he had not expected to feel so intensely.
The stadium corridors were quiet, the haggard faces of the players mingled with those of the few remaining staff. Jude walked with heavy steps, ignoring the greetings of his colleagues and the murmur of the journalists who tried to capture some reaction. He just wanted to get out of there, to escape the shadow of that defeat.
As soon as he reached the parking lot, he took out his cell phone and, without thinking much, called you. Your voice was the first thing he thought of; he didn't want to talk to anyone other than his girlfriend. Deep down, he knew that you were the only person who could understand without judging, without demanding anything.
âHey, Jude!
You answered with that welcoming tone that made him breathe a little slower, even in the most tense situations.
Jude let out a heavy sigh before saying something, feeling tiredness mix with frustration.
âBabe... it was a disaster. A complete disaster.
His voice sounded tired, almost exhausted, and there was a vulnerability there that he rarely let show.
You, on the other end of the line, could feel every emotion through his tone, as if you were right there by his side.
âI saw it, babe. âYou answered softly, trying not to let him feel like he was being judged. âDo you want to come over to my house? We can talk, or just... be quiet, if you prefer.
He nodded, even though you couldnât see it.
âI need you now, Y/n... I donât want to talk to anyone. Just you.
In less than half an hour, Bellingham arrived home. As soon as you opened the door, he walked in slowly, his shoulders still slumped, his eyes downcast, and his face marked by tension. You approached and wrapped him in a hug, a gesture that he returned with a grip so firm that it almost seemed desperate.
âI canât believe what happened. âHe murmured, hiding his face in your shoulder. âSo many people were counting on me, you know? Itâs not just a game, darling... itâs not just a defeat. Itâs... itâs like I failed everyone, the club, the fans. They trusted me.
You stroked his back, feeling how shaken he was. Jude was always strong, a leader on and off the field, but moments like these showed his more human side.
âHoney, youâre an incredible player. One defeat doesnât change that. Everyone who understands football knows that the sport is like that, sometimes, even the best player has bad days. But youâre an essential part of the team, and they know it.
He shook his head, still not convinced.
âI know it sounds easy to say this, but... I donât feel that way. Today was humiliating. The pressure from the fans, the disapproving looks... itâs too much.
You held his face between your hands, looking him in the eyes tenderly.
âJude, youâve overcome so much. Remember when you were just a little boy who dreamed of playing professional soccer? Look how far youâve come. And you know how capable you are. This game was just a stumbling block, but youâre much stronger than that.
For a moment, he remained silent, absorbing your words. Then he closed his eyes and nodded slowly. You were his anchor, and just having you there made him feel a lightness he couldnât find in anyone else.
You smiled at him, pulling him to the couch.
âSit down. Iâll get us some tea, and you can tell me what else is on your mind, if you want.
As you went to the kitchen, Jude threw himself on the couch, letting his body sink into the cushions. Anger still burned inside him, but the warmth of the house and your affection helped ease the weight.
You came back with a steaming mug of chamomile tea in your hands and sat down next to him, offering the mug. He held your hand before taking the tea, as if he needed that contact to steady himself. After a sip, he sighed deeply and began to talk, telling you every detail that bothered him âthe plays that didn't work out, the pressure from the fans, the feeling of helplessness.
âI know it's weird to say this... âHe confessed. âBut even after everything, I feel like I owe them something. I don't know how I'm going to go back there and face all of this again.
You squeezed his hand and shook your head.
âIt's not weird, Jude. It shows how much you care, how much you respect what you do. That feeling is what makes you a special player.
He smiled sideways, a slight smile, still without much conviction, but a little more hopeful.
âIâm lucky to have you, Y/n. Seriously. You have no idea how much this means.
You rested your head on his shoulder and closed your eyes, feeling grateful for being there for him.
âAnd Iâm lucky to have you. Now, youâre going to rest, recharge your batteries, and tomorrow is a new day. Youâre going back to the field, babe. Stronger than ever.
Jude looked at you, with deep gratitude in his eyes. He knew there would still be challenges, but with you by his side, he was sure he would be able to face anything.
#jude bellingham x fem!reader#jude bellingham x you#dorabellingham#jude bellingham#jude bellingham imagine#jude bellingham one shot#jude bellingham x reader#football#football fanfic#real madrid#football x y/n#football x reader#jb5 x fem!reader#jb5 x reader#jb22#jb5#jude bellingham smut#jude bellingham imagines#judebellingham#el clasico#la liga
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hi! long time reader, first time submit-er :) could i request a dilf!wonwoo fic where youâre trying to get your kids out the door to trick or treat with a friend or a family member because you and wonwoo have a halloween party and you get self conscious that you donât look hot enough in your costume but wonwoo disagrees? very fluffy, maybe even smutty if that works for you hehe
Pairing: Dad!Wonwoo x Mom!readerÂ
Summary: For the first Halloween in years, you and Wonwoo are able to enjoy it together without the kids. When you feel a little nervous about your costume, Wonwoo is determined to show you that youâve always been the sweetest thing.Â
Word Count: 2,278
Genre: Slice of Life, Married Couple/Parents
Type: Smut, Fluff
Rating: 18+ Minors are strictly prohibited from engaging in and reading this content. It contains explicit content and any minors discovered reading or engaging with this work will be blocked immediately.
Warnings: Light mentions of anxiety regarding letting kids go trick-or-treating without them, slight body insecurity and light mentions of a skirt not fitting comfortably, sexually explicit content including oral (f. receiving), vaginal fingering, spitting, hair pulling, stupid and corny during sex.Â
A/N: Hey so anyway Iâm not even that big of a fan of dilf-teen or parent-fic but here we are and I am ACTUALLY VERY INTERESTED IN DAD WONWOO NOW. SO THIS IS NOW YOUR FAULT THAT IâM THINKING ABOUT IT. Also the visual of Jihoon with a kid on his shoulders sent me into an early grave.Â
A/N 2: PLEASE THE BANNER IS NERDY BUT THEYâRE DRESSED AS COWBOYS OK LMFAO
Disclaimer: Disclaimer: All members of Seventeen are faces and name claims for stories. Any scenarios or representations of the people and places mentioned in works are not representative of real-life scenarios. Moreover, none of my works accurately reflect, represent or take a stance on the nuances of Korean culture, cities, people etc. Seventeen members are not Seventeen culturally, intellectually, physically, or representationally in my stories, and should be considered name and face stand-ins for made up characters.
Main Masterlist â Tag List Request Form â Ask â Haliween
âSoonyoung, her crown!â You warn, watching as your friend smacks the plastic crown off Haenâs head. She doesnât seem to notice, too busy digging her greedy little hands in the pocket of his tiger onesie where she knows sheâll find candy. âAre you sure you can do this?âÂ
Soonyoung scoffs. His outrage is lessened by the ridiculous tiger onesie heâs in, the suit zipped to the neck and the hood pulled up over his head. Heâs got Iseul in his arms, cradling her in her dragon costume as she pulls on his hood while Haen reveals a Jolly Rancher.Â
âMaybe we-â
Wonwooâs hand on your lower back cuts you off as he steps through the door frame. He pitches his voice low and gentle as he crouches down, eye level with your eldest child. âHey, no candy until after. We agreed, remember?âÂ
Pouting, she shoves the candy back inside Soonyoungâs pocket. Behind him, Jihoon and Jeonghan snort. âYes, daddy. Sorry, I excited.âÂ
Mouth pressed firmly to hide your smile, you feel the overwhelming sense of love for her as she puts her hands behind her back, waiting patiently for Soonyoung to escort her down the steps and sidewalk to go trick-or-treating.Â
âWeâll be fine,â Soonyoung assures, pouting as he takes Haenâs hand and spins around. Your other friends hold out the empty buckets made to be filled with candy. âWe promised we had them, and we do!â
Wonwoo stands, hand sliding up your back as he does. âYou remember where the key is?âÂ
âYes, daddy,â Soonyoung calls over his shoulder. He passes Iseul to Jeonghan, who holds her far less precariously. âWeâll let you know when weâre back. Go out on the town or whatever it is parents with no kids do.âÂ
Children and parents line the streets. You watch your little group of friends with your two kids meander down the sidewalk, Jihoon immediately lifting Haeun to put her on his shoulders. Nerves eat away at you as they finally vanish from your line of vision, lost to the other swarms of trick-or-treaters and bobbing halloween lights hanging from trees.Â
âMaybe we should-â
âNope,â Wonwoo says gently, pulling you toward him. âTheyâll do fine. Jihoon is with them, what could go wrong?â
Blowing out a sigh you nod, taking a moment to just drink him in. As much as he hates dressing up on Halloween, heâs done it again this year for you, dressed in the exact cowboy costume that you had put together for him. Itâs less a costume than it is precariously picked clothes - the tan, suede button up and brown leather pants had already been in his closet, along with the belt and bolo tie. Youâd just purchased the hat and the boots to complete the look.
And it is a look.
Wonwoo has always had the annoying ability to look good in whatever he wears. It doesnât matter if heâs sitting on the couch in a shirt with juice stains from Iseul spilling her apple juice all over him or if heâs in a pressed suit at a company holiday party - he looks good in everything.Â
Heading back inside, you catch yourself in the mirror near the entrance, tugging at your skirt a little. Itâs a little higher and tighter than you remember, and the button digs into your stomach a bit more than you like. Chewing your lip, you quickly turn from the mirror, busying yourself in the kitchen looking for your car keys and purse.
Wonwoo follows you silently, leaning against the door frame as he watches you. His eyes are heavy on you, your stomach fluttering as you drop a credit card onto the floor. Cursing, you bend down to get it, feeling the skirt hug you tightly and restrict your movement for a second.Â
âIâve got it,â he says quietly, pushing off the wall.
âNo, no,â you manage to peel it off the tile. âThis damn skirt is so much tighter than it used to be. God.â Standing up again, you shove your card into the wallet, not meeting his eyes as he drifts toward you. âMaybe I should change.â
âWhy?â
âI donât know. Maybe itâs just⊠I donât know.â
âI think it looks fucking fantastic.â You roll your eyes, looking at him with a deadpan stare. His mouth twitches a little as he drops his gaze to the jean skirt in question. âYou look fucking hot.âÂ
âWeâre married. You have to say that.â
âWeird. I donât remember that being in our vows.âÂ
âIt definitely was.â You fiddle with the zipper on your wallet, nibbling on your bottom lip. âI think it was right after in sickness. It said and always tell your wife sheâs hot.âÂ
His laugh is throaty and he reaches for you. You let him, his hands soft as he pulls you toward him by the waist. He smells like spicy cologne and something that is distinctly Wonwoo. Instead of looking up to meet his gaze, you focus on the pocket of his shirt, lifting your hands to fidget with it and press it flat.
âBaby,â he murmurs. You still donât look up at him, his voice sending a shiver down your spine. âI really like the skirt, but you can wear whatever you want.âÂ
âYeah?âÂ
âMhmm. It makes your legs look good. Not to mentionâŠâ One hand drifts from your hip to your ass, squeezing generously. Your breath catches and your eyes flick up to meet his. Theyâre dark, a playful edge to his gaze that youâre intimately familiar with. âYou look good in everything to me.âÂ
âHmm.â
âHmm?â he imitates. Wonwooâs fingers skim the edge of the skirt, brushing across your thighs. You shiver, clinging to him a little as your eyes flutter shut at the contact. You can feel your heart hammering in your chest as he says, âWant me to help you out of it?âÂ
The two of you have been together for nine years, married for six. You know every part of your best friend turned boyfriend turned husband. There is no corner of his heart he has left unturned to you, no thought that you cannot complete, no words he can speak that you donât already know.
So when he asks if you want him to help you out of it you know what heâs asking you. He isnât saying heâll help you out and to pick out a new skirt. He isnât asking you to change it. He doesnât even want you to put the skirt back on, if his hungry gaze and the low pitch of his voice tells you anything.Â
âI thought you wanted to go to the halloween party.â
His laugh comes out in a huff. âIâd like to get you out of that skirt more.âÂ
Wonwooâs fingers curl around the edge of your skirt, a question. âPlease.âÂ
Wonwoo has never denied you anything, and he doesnât now. He spins you against the counter so that your hips are pressed to it, your back to his chest. He sinks his hands down your front, fingers deftly undoing the button. His hot breath is on your neck, his lips barely skimming your skin in an almost-kiss.Â
Button popped, Wonwoo pulls the material open. Instead of rolling it down at the waist, his hand snakes into your skirt, pressing against your underwear as his mouth connects with your throat. You let out a breathy noise, melting in his arms as he presses his fingers to your clit over the silk of your underwear.Â
âOh,â you breath, going slack against him. He doesnât mind, pinning you between him and the counter as he circles his fingers teasingly. He keeps his mouth busy, pressing wet kisses up your throat and toward your jaw. âThought you wanted me out of it.âÂ
âI will,â he promises, nipping your jaw. You tilt your head to the side, giving him more access. The lower pit of your stomach burns with desire, sparking at his lazy touch. âJust wanted to touch first.â
âSlow ainât your thing, cowboy?âÂ
âNah, Iâve got a pretty thing that wants to take a ride.âÂ
Your laugh is cut off by a hiss, your head falling forward, as Wonwoo glides a finger down to press at your entrance. You feel your muscles clench, your stomach lurching as he teases you. A hand shoots to his wrist and you dig your fingers in, nails biting.Â
âBe nice,â you warn sternly.Â
âMmm. Youâre using your mommy voice.âÂ
âI wouldnât have to if daddy was being nice.â
âDaddy says heâll make up for it.âÂ
Daddy does. He always does. Wonwoo loves to tease you and make you beg for it, but he doesnât now, fingers pulling your underwear to the side so he can stroke your pussy in full. He moans at the wetness he finds, hooking his chin over your shoulder to watch as he works his hand between your legs.Â
Wonwooâs fingers are deft and skillful, applying just the right pressure and stimulation to work you up. Your breath becomes stilted, feeling the ripples of pleasure as he gets you where he wants you. Pinned between him and the counter, you canât move. Canât squirm. Canât buck your hands to meet his strokes when he sinks a finger into your cunt.Â
âFuck,â he rasps, pressing a messy kiss to your shoulder. âLike fucking silk.â
Heat creeps up your neck. You feel breathless under his attention, the heel of his palm pressing into your clit as Wonwoo leisurely fucks you with his finger, dragging it out only to slide up to your clit, circling gently.Â
Your fingers dig into him as Wonwoo strings you along, enjoying the way your sounds turn airy and weak. He plays you perfectly, working you up until you feel your thighs twitching, eyes shut as you let him steer you toward your peak.
Wonwoo pulls his hand from your skirt, making you eyes fly open, mouth hanging open. Turning to yell at him over your shoulder, your words are lost as he drops to his knees, fingers yanking your skirt as he goes.
Cool air hits your legs as he taps your ankle, asking you to step out of the skirt. You do and he rewards you with a gentle kiss on the back of your thigh, his hands skimming up your legs. You feel the coolness wear his wet fingers leave a slick trail on your skin.Â
Leaning forward, he plans another gentle kiss on the curve of your ass, making you laugh. He hums pleasantly, hands warm and explorative. He presses the small of your back gently, making you lean onto the counter, ass out.Â
Delicately, he peels your underwear from your hips, tossing them somewhere else. His hands return to your legs, pressing gently to pry your thighs apart. He groans at your messy cunt, no doubt proud of his work.Â
The marble countertop is freezing cold, ground you as you rest your cheek on it. You feel your chest heavy, holding your breath for a moment when Wonwoo leans forward and dips his tongue between your folds tentatively.Â
âSoonyoung should take the kids more often,â Wonwoo notes, breath hitting you between the legs. You make a strangled sound, distracted by the way his fingers squeeze your thighs, digging into the meat of them. His tongue dips back in, dragging upward again. âWant to do this more.âÂ
âYou - fuck - did this last night.âÂ
âNot with you bent over the counter and this pretty ass in my face.â His hand smacks your ass lightly, making you squeal. He laughs deep in his throat, a little bit of a groan as he mutters, âExactly.âÂ
Wonwoo stops talking, mouth busy as he fastens his lips to your heat, sucking gently. He drives you insane, losing yourself in the way his tongue circles gently around your bundle of nerves. He alternates between tongue and lips, a shattering combination of heaven and hell as he works you toward an orgasm.Â
His mouth isnât the reason you fell in love with him, but as you start breaking apart, you think it might be a solid entry on the list of reasons. You reach back with one hand, knocking the hat off his head to tangle your fingers in his hair. He grunts, appreciative as he gives a particularly greedy suck, making your toes curl.Â
âFuck,â he mutters, breaking away for a second. His fingers peel you open and you moan when you feel him spit against your hole, clenching around nothing. âWho needs candy when I have the sweetest thing right here?â
âWonwoo.âÂ
âYou even melt in my mouth.â
âWonwoo.â
He chuckles. âYeah baby, I know.â
He always knows. He attaches his mouth back to you, slick and messy and loud as he works you to your orgasm. Your nails dig against his scalp - he doesnât care. He lets you tug him further in, happy to press his face as close to your heat as possible.Â
You press back into him, muscle clenching. You burst like a bubble, completely coming undone under his mouth as you come against him, face pressed to the counter. He pushes you through it, not letting you escape him when you try and wiggle away, tongue hot and hungry until youâre begging him to let up.Â
Wonwoo pulls away, breathing heavily. His hands skate up and down your legs and suddenly youâre grateful your weight is all on the countertop, thighs totally useless.Â
âGod damn,â you pants, eyes shut.
âYeah,â he agrees and stands. You feel him crowd you in, touch seeking your hips. âCatch your breath, partner. You still got a ride to go on.âÂ
-
TAG LIST:
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@stray-bi-kids @ldysmfrst @thepoopdokyeomtouched @avochele
@eoieopda @onlywon4u @hopeless-foolery @iamawkwardandshy
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#wonwoo smut#jeon wonwoo smut#wonu smut#svt smut#wonwoo x reader#wonu x reader#seventeen smut#wonwoo fic#wonwoo fanfic#minors do not interact#minors dni#haliween
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I think one of my favourite character journeys in BSD has to be Kunikida learning to be better with kids because you'd expect it to be a fun wholesome character arc. Only, it ends up being heart breaking as it's immediately turned against Kunikida.
Despite the 'Dad status' that the fandom has given Kunikida, he was actually terrible with kids towards the start of the manga.
Take how he treated Atsushi in the first chapter. (Yes, Atsushi is not a little kid, but he was a starving and vulnerable orphan when they met.) When Kunikida and Dazai mention the 'man-eating tiger' Atsushi immediately freaks out and tries to run away.
What does Kunikida do? He grabs Atsushi, slams him to the floor and then threatens to break his arm for information.
It's Dazai of all people who has to reign Kunikida in reminding him "The boss himself warned you that the gathering of intelligence needn't be an interrogation". Dazai was the sweet talker and Kunikida was threat, even to a terrified, starving orphan.
Later with Kyouka, he's not much better. He attempts to intimidate her into giving the agency information. Whilst Atsushi now fulfils the role of the gentle approach. She's a mafia assassin after all, even if he knows she had no choice in it, Kunikida treats her as a threat before he treats her as a child.
Even with Aya, the interaction that gave Kunikida his 'dad status', he started off badly. But, it is here we start to see Kunikida trying to be better, trying to take a softer approach, even if he's clumsy with it.
When he realizes Aya was just handed a bomb, he snatches it from her and gets rid of it. That can't be helped it was a literal ticking time bomb, he then phones the authorities to deal with it. He was planning to leave, it's only because he caught sight of Aya sitting alone did he approach her. It wasn't his first instinct.
If he hadn't seen her in that moment, he might not have gone looking for her at all.
He asks her if she's alright and then she shocks him by wanting to hunt down the culprit. He rightfully tries to dissuade her, but again, he's not good with kids, he's blunt and argumentative with her.
Obviously, that's not going to convince a kid with a hero complex to not chase the bad guy.
However, his turning point, in my opinion, is when he realizes he has to choose between Aya and the people on the train. Now, he had already set off the stun grenade and is putting all his faith in Yosano finding them. He trusts her so he knows they are most likely going to be okay.
But Aya doesn't know that and he can't explain it all in the time they have. He sees a child who thinks she's about to die and is trying to be brave about it. And Kunikida comforts her. He needs her to know that she's not alone, that she's not going to suffer, that he is with her and he hugs her.
There was no need for him to step into that explosion with Aya except to comfort her. He chose to do that. Above his own life, he chose her needs.
And that's where this journey starts to get heartbreaking, because Kunikida hadn't always been like this. He was obviously always going to try and protect children, his ideals state as much, but he also didn't believe himself to be a hero. He doesn't see himself as someone capable or even worthy of that role.
So he built up a barrier around himself that made him harsher and more callous. He called it a professional detachment. He had to, it was to protect himself, to keep his sanity in those moment when they couldn't save everyone. Now it's breaking down and he's showing more and more how much he cares.
And it's immediately used against him.
The very scenario that got him to open up is placed in front of him again. A child with a bomb around their throat. Only this time Yosano isn't there, and this time Fyodor is orchestrating it.
And Kunikida does everything right. He tells Atsushi to leave and carry on the mission so he can stay and help the child. He gets on the child's level, makes himself small and none threatening. He reassures the child in gentle voice that everything will be okay.
And then, it's the line "How about a magic trick?" that really gets me, because he's trying so hard to present himself as someone trustworthy. And a magic trick is exactly what he pulled off with Aya, but it's what goes wrong here.
Because Fyodor planned it this time. He didn't just target children to get at Kunikida, he made a twisted mockery of what happened to Aya. Except she doesn't live this time and Kunikida can't bring this child any comfort or safety because Kunikida is the threat. This child dies alone and afraid because Kunikida was there, just like Fyodor planned.
Fyodor saw Kunikida bare his heart once and immediately reached in his chest and crushed it.
#bungou stray dogs#bsd#bsd kunikida#rambling#long post#And then there's what happened in Dazai's entrance exam#which probably explains why he's ended up so closed off from kids#because he couldn't save the one he took in the first time#and didn't want to go through it again#but this post already ended up long enough#so I'm calling it here
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BTS As Girl Dads
Ot7 x Reader
Summary: Headcanons about how the members would each handle being girl dads
Warnings: none
A/N: Thanks to @coffeedepressionsoup for this request! This got me soo in my feels, theyâd all be such great dads(I may have gone a lil self indulgent but who cares lol). Obviously, some/most of these could also apply to any kid, regardless of gender, but for the sake of the Hc, weâre focusing on daughters
Masterlist
°âąÂ°âąÂ°âąÂ°âąÂ°âąÂ°âąÂ°âąÂ°âąÂ°âąÂ°âąÂ°âąÂ°âąÂ°âąÂ°âąÂ°âąÂ°âąÂ°âąÂ°âąÂ°âąÂ°âąÂ°âą
Jin:
Heâs honestly such a girl dad, argue with the wall
I totally see him wholly embracing the title and all the things that are typically considered âgirlyâ, like pink and sparkles and all that
He would indulge every single one of her interests. She likes animals? Theyâre going to the zoo every weekend. She likes music? Heâs signing her up for lessons for whatever instrument sheâs into
I have this mental picture of them sitting on her bed together while heâs reading her bedtime stories, using all these silly voices and wearing one of her princess hats or something bc she insisted he needed for the character and just-đ
Yoongi:
Yoongi would be the softest girl dad ever, like she had him wrapped around her finger from day one. He took one look at her tiny little scrunched up face, that reminded him waay too much of his own expression when heâs annoyed, and he was a goner
I see him just sitting soo patiently while she gives him makeovers, wearing like three different pairs of clip-on earrings at the same time
He would really focus on teaching her to stand up for herself and makes sure she never takes any shit from anyone
He might come off a little stern sometimes, but itâs just because he worries and wants the best for her
Hobi:
Okay, Hobi as a girl dad might be one of my favorite headcanons, bc heâd be soo fucking sweet with them!
The tea party King. Like he shows up dressed in the most ridiculous outfits to make her giggle, and ready to talk imaginary gossip with her and any plushies that are joining themđ€
He would love shopping with/for her, constantly trying to find the coolest outfits or pieces for her, and they would definitely wear matching outfits when she was little(she would be the best dressed toddler ever, lol)
I also see him being quite protective of her at times, being super nervous/worried about her doing things like riding a bike for the first time or on her first days of school
Namjoon:
Omg Namjoon as a girl dad would be soo fucking protective. Like if someone does anything to hurt or upset her, theyâre fucked
I see him loving daddy-daughter days out together, taking her to the park or museums or bookstores, really just wanting to indulge her curiosity and interests
Like Yoongi, he would really work to make sure she knows how to stand up for herself, as well as others
For all of his sternness tho, he would have the biggest soft spot for her, heâs 100% the type to let her have dessert before dinner or something bc she gave him puppy eyes
Jimin:
Omg heâs soo girl dad coded, like itâs not even funny(he literally confirmed that on that ep of âare you sure?â like đ„ș)
He would treat her like a little princess, doting on her at every possible opportunity, buying her toys/clothes/treats, taking her on special outings, etc. If she wants something, he will do whatever he can do give it to her
He would not be able to stand seeing her in any sort of pain. Like even her just having a scraped knee would make him slightly misty-eyed, even tho sheâs not upset/crying about it
I see them having lots of long talks about whateverâs on her mind. He would really strive to be her safe place to ask questions about anything, from school and friends to life and the future
Taehyung:
I see him being an amazing girl dad! He has this amazing, comforting dynamic with the girls that heâs worked with/is friends with, so I can only imagine how supportive he would be with his own daughter
He would be so indulgent in whatever she wanted. Ice cream before bed? Heck yeah, let him grab a spoon too. She wants a new plushie/toy even tho she just got one like yesterday? Well, the new one needs a friend, soo-
But he would still have his more stern/protective moments with her, just moreso in little ways like making sure sheâs always wearing her helmet and elbow/knee pads, brushes her teeth, does her homework, etc
He would play along with all/any of their imaginary games, fully committing to the role(and adding waay too many silly death/fainting scenes bc they make her laugh)
Jungkook:
Junkook would absolutely adore a daughter. Like she would be his little princess and anyone/anything that upsets her will have to answer to him.
On the flip side of that protectiveness tho, he is so unbelievably gentle with her. As an infant, he handled her like she was made of glass, and as she grows up, he would always speak to her in a softer tone than he uses for anyone elseÂ
(Also dodonât think about him singing her to sleep every night as an infant. Getting up with her in the middle of the night and walking her around the house, singing to her softly till she drifts back off to sleep in his arms)
He would love teaching her things and playing games with her(I totally picture him teaching her boxing in tiny and falling over all dramatic when she lands a hit, lol)
Taglist: @sopebubbles-replies @btsw1fe @this-must-be-my-tardis @whitefoxgirl @bethanysnow @coffeedepressionsoup @main-bangtansmauyeondan @feminympho @classicalelephant @dfqcsqueen @mother2monsters @comingupwithacoolnameishard @universal-travel-er @bo0ghol @captainorangegoose @k4ngelz
#bts x reader#bts x y/n#bts reactions#bts reaction#bts requests#bts headcanons#bts scenarios#seokjin x reader#seokjin x y/n#yoongi x y/n#yoongi x reader#hoseok x y/n#hoseok x reader#namjoon x y/n#namjoon x reader#jimin x y/n#jimin x reader#taehyung x y/n#taehyung x reader#jungkook x y/n#jungkook x reader#7ndipity
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snow and roses: part II (coriolanus snow x fem!reader)
pairing: coriolanus snow x reader
warnings: none except the nature of the Hunger Games franchise! later on in the series there will be hints to dark!coriolanus snow and lots of angst so be prepared!
summary: you and coriolanus have been dating in secret for months, all it takes is one songbird for everything to come into the light.
a/n: part two is here! hope you enjoy, remember requests are open and there are more parts to come :) p.s - all of the love on part one means the world!
word count: 2.3k
find part one here!
join my taglist here!
Over the past eighteen years you couldn't picture a single day you and Coriolanus hadn't spent together. Birthdays, school days, even throughout the war, you spent time together.
Today was different. He hadn't met you this morning and you couldn't help but miss his presence. His character enveloped a room, always making it clear he was there without really having to say a word. You found it comforting, others found it threatening.
The Tributes arrived early this morning and it was something you had dreaded, very soon you would actually have to meet Wovey. Mentor her, care for her, and it riddled you with guilt knowing that it was all a challenge. Her life was a challenge to you.
Coryo's presence could've softened that burden and yet, he wasn't here. No warning no explanation he just didn't show.
"Where's Snow?" Asked Arachne as you all stood outside your classroom at the Academy, preparing for yet another lecture from Casca.
"I wouldn't know." You shrugged, secretly seething at your boyfriends disregard to tell you where he was going before he disappeared.
"Oh please. You two are practically attached at the hip." Scoffed Festus. Fixing his hair in a small compact mirror which he carried around in his bag.
"I heard he's with his songbird." Mock sang Felix. Knowing it would most likely piss you off to the high heavens.
"And where did you hear that, Felix?" You asked, tilting your head in questions, eyebrows furrowed. While Felix was a tease he was not a liar.
"Lucky's newest interview. He was in the zoo with the tributes, I mean it was almost comedic. But, I've got to say the most interesting part was when they held hands." He said. You couldn't hide the anger on your face no matter how hard you tried and it was only made worse when you spotted Sejanus' sympathetic glance from over his shoulder.
"Well, he is very motivated to win the Prize I suppose." You murmured, now embarrassed, even if they weren't aware he was your boyfriend he was supposed to be your closest ally and here he was prancing around with his new decoration.
Much to your pleasure the large wooden door swung open, everybody filing into the room and taking their assigned seats, the one next to yours empty.
His seat.
Finally, minutes later he entered looking rather sheepish. If he was ashamed you were glad, he should be.
"Your little excursion is in violation of about five Academy rules Mr Snow." Spoke Casca. Deep down you were pleased that he had broken rules, pleading in your mind that this would prevent any further ventures. "Amongst them, endangering a Capitol student."
"Who?" He asked, stopping in his tracks as though he was insulted by the accusation.
"You. I'm moving for the Game makers to disqualify you as a mentor immediately." Casca answered. Guiltily you were happy, you just hoped your face didn't show it as Coriolanus sat down next to you.
"You said that we had to get our tributes to perform, not that we had to stay away." He said leaning against the banister of your seats.
"I don't believe holding their hands was in that agreement." You snarled from behind him and you immediately regretted it as he turned to you, hurt that you weren't defending him.
"Right you are Miss L/N." Casca replied.
"Holding her hand, introducing her to people. You make it look as if were one in the same as those animas." Arachne added. You didn't agree with that, they were very much the same as us but his effort to care for her wounded you internally.
"Coriolanus didn't show those people anything they didn't already know. That the tributes are human beings. Just like us. That's why nobody wants to watch the Games, because people know deep down, that winning a war ten years ago doesn't justify starving peoples children." Sejanus added, yet you couldn't help but feel like Coriolanus didn't truly agree, he just wanted to be let loose for his wrong doings.
"Snow fell. Down in the cage, it fell down in the cage but it landed-" Doctor Gaul appeared, frightening you and many others. She had an atmosphere similar to Coriolanus, threatening and brazen. Maybe that should've scared you more than any District Twelve girl, yet it didn't.
"On stage." Snow finished her riddle without hesitation.
"You're good at games. Maybe one day you'll be a Game maker like me." She grinned evilly. You didn't miss Coriolanus' smile when hearing this and something deep within you stirred.
"Only if the games continue at all." Casca replied.
"Oh they'll continue, with performances like young Mr Snow in that zoo. In fact I came to ask your star Mentor a question. What are the Hunger Games for?" She said confidently.
"They're to punish the Districts for their uprising. To commemorate the end of the war." Coriolanus answered thou hit felt scripted and to some extent it was. That very answer was drilled into your heads from the moment you entered the Academy.
Sejanus began to discredit the Games, calling them what they are. Cruel. Doctor Gaul didn't like that.
"Perhaps the Capitol students are ill suited to be mentoring tributes, perhaps the Games time has passed." Casca said and something about it told you he was on Sejanus' side, that he didn't agree with the very games he created.
"Dean Highbottom is wrong. My classmates too. Maybe Sejanus is onto something, maybe we should be viewing those tributes as human beings." Coriolanus spoke and you tugged at his shirt for him to sit down, to stop defending this inhumane act but he slapped your hand away. "I mean you saw those kids in the zoo, they just wanted to get to know Lucy Gray. If we need people to watch we should be letting them get closer to the tributes before the games. Make the stakes personal." You felt embarrassed by his every word. Embarrassed by his obsession with Lucy Gray and embarrassed that he believed in these games.
"Who will watch the games if they care what happens to the tributes?" Asked Doctor Gaul and even to you, the answer was obvious. Everyone.
"Everyone." Answered Snow, predictable. "If they thought the tribute they cared about had a chance of winning, people need someone to root for and against. We need them to invest. If we bend a few Capitol laws, we could even have them place bets." He continued his proposal.
"You forget you're talking about real people Coriolanus, not just characters in your wider game." You said, eyes cold as he once again turned to you seeming betrayed, you no longer cared.
"Look I know Lucy Gray may not win in the arena but if you give her a chance, I would bet the Plinth Prize that she can win peoples attention." He ignored you, instead once again talking about Lucy. You felt sick by his obsession, betrayed. How long had you been the one to care for him, to root for him and here he was digging a dagger in your heart.
"I would like you to write up a proposal of these thoughts tonight Mr Snow." Doctor Gaul stated. "Perhaps your classmate can help you?" She smirked towards you in question.
You shook your head while keeping your eyes trained on the front of the room, you refused to be apart of his play for Lucy Gray's victory.
You sat alone at lunch, thinking. What was going on between him and that girl and why was he suddenly the Games biggest supporter. You understood the Plinth Prize meant a lot to him. That it would open doors but this was a step too far.
"Y/N, a pleasure." A voice you knew all too well said as it took the seat across from you.
"Coriolanus." You answered bluntly before taking another bite of your sandwich. He could tell something was off from the moment you used his full name, usually calling him Coryo.
"What was that little show back there, hm?" He asked, blue eyes a weapon as he glared at you. Something you had never been on the receiving end of before.
"I could ask you the same thing." You replied, putting your food down to glare back.
"It's a competition, Y/N. One which could change my life, I know you don't have to worry about winning but this means everything to me. You know that. I know the games are animalistic but they'll go on either way-." He defended though you cut him off.
"That's what you think I'm upset about?" You said, exaggerating the 'that's'.
"It's not?" He asked, now curious.
"I don't know, Coriolanus maybe I'm upset about you being obsessed with Lucy Gray. I mean, she's all you've spoken about since the Reaping, you held her hand! Risked your life for her!" You exclaimed in angry, drawing attention to your table.
"Oh what, so your jealous?" He smirked, clearly amused by your outrage.
"Jealous does little to describe what I am feeling, Snow. This is another level. When will you realise that that girl is using you, just as you are using her. Nothing more nothing less. I however am still here, I have been there for years, for you!" You shouted once more and he grew agitated as the room stared, grabbing your wrist with unnecessary aggression to pull your face down to this.
"Don't make a scene Y/N. You're acting like a little girl." He gritted out through his teeth.
"Fuck you, Coriolanus Snow." You replied equally quiet and with menace laced in your words. You saw his face change, as if the anger once there was replaced by a mask of sympathy. It felt ingenuine.
"Come on, Y/N. You know I love you right? I have for how long now, years." He said with kind eyes.
"Don't kid yourself." You scoffed. Though his face stayed the same his grip on your wrist tightened, leaving pink indentations.
"I love you, Y/N. Okay? Not Lucy Gray. She's my tribute just like you said, nothing more nothing less." He once again reassured, never giving up his hold.
Finally the fire in your heart gave out to him and his stupid Snow charm. It never failed to make you swoon and hearing those three words, ones you gave to each other not very often, you just wished to be in his arms.
"Okay." You retreated.
"Okay and?" He asked.
"I love you too." You answered, relieved when he let your wrist go, you were quick to move it below the table, scared to see what he had done to your wrist.
"Good. Now come on, I'm going to give some food to Lucy Gray, strengthen her, I assume you would like to meet Wovey." He said, getting up from his chair. You didn't want to meet Wovey, not really, scared to look her in the eyes. You did however want to meet his pretty little Songbird.
You walked together, hand in hand towards the zoo. He was back to his caring self after the flash of rage you previously saw. It wasn't the first time that side of him had flashed and you knew it wouldn't be the last but moments like these made it all worth it.
Your relationship was secret, but you felt no need to hide it anymore, now determined to show he was yours. Show everyone.
At first you stuck by his side, even when he spoke to Lucy Gray and you felt yourself flinch as she rushed over.
"That for us?" She asked as he held food out to her. Watching as she gave some to her fellow District Twelve Tribute, Jessup. "And who might this be?" She asked, eyeing up your joint hands.
"Wovey's mentor." He answered, without a second thought. Though when you squeezed his hand, his answer changed. "My girlfriend, I mean. Y/N L/N."
"Well Miss L/N, you sure do have the cream of the crop here with Mr Snow. He's a lovely young man." She smiled at you, you couldn't tell if it was your own paranoia telling you it was ingenuine or if she really didn't feel happy for you.
"Oh, and don't I know it." You smiled back. "You've equally had such luck I must say. He's a fine mentor." You added, patting his chest as you boosted his ego.
"Well, thank you." He said, kissing your forehead. "But uh, could you give me and Lucy Gray a moment, Mentor to Tribute?" He asked and that once burnt out flame of jealousy flickered within you as you left to speak to Wovey. You watched as they now leant against the fence to talk, lips inches away, crouched together.
Wovey was a sweet young girl, grateful as you gave her food and she shared it with Bobbin who she had been sat with, you didn't mind her sharing seeing as some Mentors has made little effort to offer any help.
You patted her shoulder through the fence, promising your support to help her reach the end of the games though it seemed she didn't care about winning and you admired her bravery.
A scream cut said conversation short as you looked to see Arachne's neck being stabbed with a smashed glass bottle. Play stupid games win stupid prizes.
You and Coriolanus both rushed over. Even if she was mean and bitchy she was your friend for the last five years and you had grown fond of the girl.
You whispered reassurances as she cried, placing pressure on her neck until you were literally dragged off of her by Peacekeepers, watching as her final breath left her body.
"No, no, no." You whispered with glassy eyes as her body became smaller and smaller on the ground - until it was too far into the distance to see.
It was clear the games had officially begun, and the tributes were winning.
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#coriolanus snow x fem!reader#coriolanus snow x reader#coriolanus x reader#coriolanus snow#coryo snow#the hunger games#the ballad of songbirds and snakes#the hunger game fic#ballad of songbirds and snakes#tom blyth#tom blyth x reader
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One thing I haven't seen talked about is Crystal's character arc, and specifically the way the timing of it interacts with Charles' arc. They stumble over each other in the worst possible way en route to their respective character growth, and from a narrative perspective, it's absolutely genius.
I'm going to preface all this by saying: none of this is a criticism of Crystal. Part of what makes her such a dynamic, refreshing character is that you don't get to see women in fiction written the way she's been written. You don't get to see women with her flaws that aren't throw-away mean girls or villains. You especially don't get to see women with her traits who learn and grow and become better people. So yeah, I'm going to talk about Crystal's character flaws. No, this isn't Crystal hate. We love our girl in this house. Okay? Okay. Let's start.
Crystal's character arc, at its heart, is all about her learning to be a better person because she has good influences that love and support her for the first time.
When the show starts, Crystal is not a nice person. She's abrasive in a way that's specifically designed to push people away. She's used to getting her own way, and it shows. She's used to having no meaningful connections with anyone, and it shows. She's breathtakingly selfish, in the very literal sense of the definition. She is focused on her self. Her problems are front and center to her; everything is about what she needs, and what she wants, and how she's struggling.
Jenny calls her out very early on. In episode one, Crystal is complaining about the boys, and Jenny, for all her cynicism, strikes right at the heart of the problem. She tells Crystal, "Everybody is always thinking about themselves, all the time." People only care about their own problems. And she says, correctly, that that's what Crystal is doing, too.
This moment is a revelation for Crystal. For the first time, she considers what her behavior looks like from another person's perspective. As she says, she gets mad at herself over it, and that awareness allows her to do something selfless for the first time in the series. She takes a step back and insists that instead of focusing on her problems, they go to help a little girl. It's a big moment for her.
But importantly, she's not done growing as a character here. She's only just getting started.
On my first watch through, I didn't realize how often, over the next few episodes, Crystal redirects things to her problems during conversation, but it's quite a lot. She's still focused on herself â selfish, in that most literal definition of the word. The issues most important to her are her issues. She's starting to learn to think about other people, but she's not there yet. The process is still underway.
Which brings us to Charles.
Charles' arc is a different sort of self-reflection. He's terrified that he's a bad person the way his father was and the way the boys that killed him were.
During the course of the show, he gets systematically stripped of his confidence and made to feel helpless, and just like Crystal needs outside influences to help her reach a more stable place, Charles does, too. He desperately needs reassurance that he isn't everything he's afraid he is.
But my goodness, the timing in their arcs is such a trainwreck when you put them together, and it is brilliant.
Let's start with the Devlin House.
Crystal has some amazing character growth here. She displays genuine concern about Charles, makes an attempt at comforting him, and learns to work with Edwin even though she still doesn't particularly like him at this point.
Charles, meanwhile, is beginning to fall apart. He's just had the worst night of his afterlife. He's been viscerally reminded of how helpless he is. He couldn't stop the Devlins from being killed over and over, just like he couldn't stop his own father's abuse. He messed up his attempted rescue so badly that he was completely out of commission until the case was finished. He managed to help not one single thing. He made no impact at all. He couldn't help those girls any more than he was able to help himself, while he was still alive.
So they get back to the butcher shop, and what do we see? Monty immediately coopts Edwin. Niko doesn't know what's happened because she wasn't there and Charles has been all fake smiles with her. And Crystal goes off with Niko, leaving Charles to flounder on his own in the wake of everything. She's still learning how to support other people. She isn't there yet, and it's extremely on display in this moment.
Then we get the lighthouse episode, and they both get put through the wringer here. Crystal gets her hopes and expectations jerked around by the Night Nurse in the very worst way, and Charles gets hit with a whole pile full of trauma. All that helplessness wells to the forefront again. Combined with being forced to relive some of his worst memories and the desperation to keep Edwin safe from hell, Charles lets himself act on his anger for once.
And what does he get in the aftermath? Horror.
Everyone who cares about him is horrified by what he's done. Edwin goes so far as to call it extreme. They don't know the half of it, of course; they haven't seen what the Night Nurse just put him through. But in this moment Charles is at his absolute lowest, and all he sees is confirmation that he's exactly as terrible as he thinks he is.
That's why Charles shrugs off Edwin's attempt at comfort, here. When he needed to be able to do something to protect Edwin and also himself â when he needed to believe that he could be better than what his father always was â all he sees is the confirmation from the people he cares about most that when push came to shove, he really is a bad guy.
Then comes the aftermath. And this moment is such a brilliant, awful clash of both of their character arcs. It is so delightfully messy.
Because Charles starts to open up to Crystal here. He starts to lay himself bare, the way he ends up doing with Edwin in episode 5. He's on the verge of admitting something that he's been worried about for literal decades. He tells her, "I've been angry for such a long time."
And what does Crystal do? She's still in the midst of her own character growth. She's still struggling to support other people. She's still learning how to. In a lot of ways, though she's made progress already, she's still that selfish girl that Jenny called out in the very first episode.
And she shows it here it with the absolute worst possible timing. No sooner has Charles started to talk about what's bothering him than she cuts in with her own problems. She's tired of riddles and spirits and demons and not knowing who she is. And the look on Charles' face. The moment when he visibly sets aside his own problems, because Crystal doesn't need any more disasters on her plate? It's heartbreaking. You can actually track the subtle change in his expression there. The actor does a phenomenal job.
And then comes the kiss. And what spurs it? Crystal saying she needs something real.
This moment isn't about light-hearted attraction, the way the earlier flirting is. It's Charles setting aside what he needs â comfort and reassurance and a moment to talk through the things that have been tearing him apart â to give her what she says she wants. He can't even feel it. And Crystal isn't far enough along in her character growth here to realize how selfish she's being. Like Jenny said way back in episode one, she's only thinking about herself.
And then comes the absolute unmitigated disaster of episode 5.
Straight out the gate, Charles leans in for a kiss. From his perspective, they have something together; there's affection there. Charles "I think I'd miss kissing" Rowland, who has been starved for meaningful physical contact for thirty years, is not in a hurry to give this up.
But Crystal is fresh out of a nightmare where she conflates Charles with her abusive ex. She withdraws; she calls what they had a distraction. She cuts it off almost as soon as it's started, so focused on her own worries here that she misses how damn fake Charles' smile is, to cover up that he's coming to pieces.
To be clear, she's absolutely not in the wrong here. It is 1000% her prerogative not to jump into a relationship again while she's still struggling to work through what happened with David. But the arc of her narrative is still early enough that she does it all without so much as the awareness that her focus on her own issues has hurt Charles terribly.
And then the episode really kicks off, and both of them are in shambles in very different ways.
Crystal is projecting her issues with David onto Charles. She has a lot of history, and David seems as though he's exactly the right sort of toxic to leave lasting a lasting impact. But Charles hasn't done anything to deserve her assumptions, and he takes the brunt of her temper here and throughout the episode.
Charles is desperately projecting onto the dead jocks. He very badly wants them to be good guys, because he sees himself in them and he needs himself to be a good guy. He snipes back at Crystal for the very first time in this episode, and he does it in the worst way possible, accidentally prodding her where it will do the most damage.
They're both hurting. They both say some truly painful things to one another.
She does not need to hear that she has unsorted hangups about David still plaguing her while she's unable to move past them. He desperately does not need anyone to tell him that he has rage issues while he's still struggling to think of himself as a decent person.
They apologize, in the end. They start to move past it.
But it's telling that Charles doesn't try to open up to Crystal again. He goes to Edwin instead, even though Edwin is the one who called his actions regarding the Night Nurse extreme. He gets the reassurance he needs so badly; he gets the connection he was looking for with Crystal from Edwin, instead. (I have a lot of thoughts on why Charles initially tries to open up to Crystal so quickly, but it is very much an aside, and this is already extremely long, so it will have to wait for another write-up.)
But the important thing here is, Edwin is the one to offer Charles what he needs to overcome the self-doubt eating him alive. Edwin provides the physical affection Charles was seeking in the form of that long-overdue hug. Edwin is the one who's able to reaffirm for him that he's not just a good guy, he's the best person Edwin knows.
And for all intents and purposes, Charles' major character arc ends here.
Charles has a few last little moments to go on the path to rebuilding his own self-image, after this, but for the most part his concerns have been resolved. He saves Crystal in episode 6 and Edwin in episode 7, proving to himself that he's able to make a difference in the face of overwhelming odds. He's not helpless, no matter what the Night Nurse told him; he can be a force for good in the world. By the end of the series, his crisis of self-doubt seems to have been largely overcome.
But it's the conversation with Edwin at the end of episode 5 that really allows him to work through his most pressing issues. Edwin is there to help support him when he stumbles. Edwin provides him the comfort he was looking for while Crystal was too worried about her own problems to notice how badly he needed the help.
Crystal, meanwhile, still has a ways to go after episode 5. The last three episodes are where she does her most important character growth.
In episode 6, she learns some hard lessons about keeping secrets and letting people help and appreciate you even when you can't offer them anything in return. And Charles, importantly, is there for her every step of the way. He consistently offers her physical and emotional support. He models for her, in a very real way, what it looks like to have someone prop you up when you need the help.
And in turn, Crystal steps in to save the boys. She's the big damn hero at the end of this episode.
The breakthrough continues into episode 7. She's so intent on helping to get Edwin out of hell that she literally goes to face her own demons, not for herself for once â not for her own purposes or needs or wants â but because she wants to help someone else.
And episode 8, at long last, brings her to the culmination of her character arc.
Crystal is at her absolute lowest here. Her family, the people who were supposed to love her unconditionally, didn't even realize she was gone. Her precious memories, that she's spent the entire series trying to regain, have showed her that she's not the person she hoped she would be. She's overwhelmed enough that she means to flee, to cut herself off from her new friends entirely.
Then the boys get kidnapped. And just like that, she makes up her mind.
For the first time since the start of the series, she sets aside her most important issues in order to let what other people need take precedence. She disregards all of her own personal concerns and focuses instead on others. She's finally stepped out of those selfish impulses that Jenny calls her out on, all the way back in the first episode. She's finally learned how to support other people when they need it.
Crystal has finally figured out how to be there for others, despite having troubles of her own.
It's a lovely arc, and it's beautifully done.
Charles' is just as touching.
And god damn, but it was a brilliant narrative choice to have their character arcs line up in exactly the wrong way.
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FEVER DREAM
caitlin clark x reader type | 5.1k words, 19k characters
warnings:
literally pure smut idk guys wtf
mentions of connor mccaffery
it honestly felt like a fever dream.
you had made your way into a small bar in downtown indianapolis with your friend jess.
it was an average friday night, you guys always went to the same bar, on the same day, at the same time.
the warm atmosphere of the place was alive the dim lighting of the downtown bar illuminated swathes of wood and metal, r&b music softly playing in the background. the walls were decorated with framed photographs of local athletes, and the chatter of people filled the air, punctuated by laughter and the clinking of glasses. it was a typical friday night, and the place buzzed with energyâespecially after a victorious game by the fever.
even if you didnt follow basketball, you knew who the indiana fever were. who caitlin clark was.
it was here that you found yourself, perched on a stool at the bar, sharing a moment with your friend, jess. you both had decided to revel in the post-game buzz that encapsulated the entire venue. there were fans that had came straight from the game, wearing fever gear to celebrate the win.
from across the bustling space, your gaze landed on what you would've never expected to see. the whole team there, gathered around a few couches playing pool.
sitting next to who you knew was her boyfriend connor, was none other than caitlin clark. you scoffed looking at her, she was dressed quite casually. her athletic build was hidden by a crewneck with the words 'indiana fever womens basketball' splayed across it and simple black cargo pants that spoke both of comfort and style.
you sighed before turning back to jess "look." you said motioning your head to the group.
her eyes widened momentarily before speaking "quite brave of them to show up to a bar, where tons of their fans are"
a small chuckle escaped past your lips "do you think they're actually together? or maybe some type of stunt to prevent people from questioning her?" you asked, shifting the conversation to connor and caitlin.
she thought for a moment before a sly grin appeared on her lips "either way people question her. but you should find out"
you found her words almost comical. ALMOST. instead she just sounded downright ridiculous. idiotic even.
you laughed dryly "you're funny you know that?" you said, but you couldnt help turning your head back to caitlin who had what looked like a forced smile on her face as she watched connor talk to another girl, occasionally saying a word or two.
jess followed your gaze before responding "im not joking though. i mean, how fucking cool would it be to say you hooked up with caitlin clark!" she said a little too loudly for comfort
your eyes widened, not just at how loud she was, but at her words themselves. "oh my god you're being serious?!" you whispered shouted.
she smirked at you "oh cmon whats the harm, shes clearly not enjoying herself"
you assumed from videos and pictures you'd seen online that she was quite literally the embodiment of confidence, though looking at her sitting on the couch with her boyfriend, it was hard not to notice how she seemed to lean away from connor, who was engrossed in conversation with some other girl standing nearby. an amused smile crossed your lips, and you turned to jess to share your thoughts. "god, thatâs pathetic," you laughed, shaking your head slightly. you both chuckled at the amusing, albeit unfortunate, dynamics of relationships, not realizing that caitlin had momentarily glanced in your direction.
for a split second, the bustle around you fell away. then jess, still giggling, suddenly stopped. she hit your arm lightly, eyes wide, and motioned towards caitlin. you turned back to see her actively staring at you now, her expression hinting at an undeniable intrigue. there was something in they way she looked at you that made your heart race unexpectedly... or maybe you were just delusional.
but when she glanced away briefly and suddenly stood up, you definitely felt your heart rate pick up a little. you watched as she skillfully navigated through the crowd and towards the bar where you and jess were sitting. you turned your attention back to jess, a small part of you hoping she would come up to you. but unsurprisingly and to your luck, she didnt. instead she ordered a round of shots for her team.
you watched secretly as she leaned against the bar looking around and jess nudged you, raising her eyebrows. you simply scoffed muttering a quiet "stop." to which she put her hands up in surrender, dropping the topic at hand.
after caitlin walked away with the shots, getting some help from connor, jess got up to order a drink and you realized you needed one of your own.
"can you get me something? something strong." you asked and she nodded
after a good 5 minutes she returned, sliding your drink in front of you. you eagerly took a sip, cringing slightly at the burning sensation.
"dude what the fuck is this" you groaned taking another sip.
"long island iced somethin, i dont know! the bartender recommended it" she shrugged before sipping her own drink.
you just sighed, before reluctantly finishing the drink as the night progressed. you knew you were drunk when you allowed jess to pull you to the dance floor without complaining. you danced along side the other people on the floor when you caught a glimpse of caitlin walking into the bathroom. and before your drunken mind could think twice about it, you found yourself following her.
inside the dimly lit hallway leading to the restrooms, the noise of the bar faded into a faint murmur. you hesitated briefly before entering the womenâs restroom, where caitlin was already fixing her hair in the mirror.
you were already regretting your decision as you cleared your throat awkwardly, standing a safe distance away from her before pretending to adjust your outfit in the mirror.
she was focused on her hair for a moment before glancing at you in the mirror, giving you a once over. âyou stalking me?â she asked slightly amused and your heart nearly stopped.
"no- um..no i just.. needed to fix my outfit" you said quickly. internally groaning at how nervous you sounded.
she chuckled, raising a brow. âuh huh.â she replied, turning to lean against the sink. âand i assume you weren't staring at me earlier either?â
"staring? i wasnt staring, my friend noticed you were here so i simply looked. i didnt stare" you lied straight through your teeth as you turned fully to face her.
a soft smirk played on her lips as she hummed. âright. not staring.â she teased. âso, why did you follow me in here then?â she followed up
and for a moment you completely forgot she was fucking caitlin clark. in your defense you were slightly drunk, not even thinking when you spit out your next words
"nobody followed you in here. i came to fix my outfit thats all" you scoffed, simultaneously rolling your eyes. you hadnt even noticed that she had taken a few steps closer to you. you glanced up nervously, only now were you realizing the insane height difference between you two.
she smirked softly, stepping away from the sink and slowly walking over to you, the smirk still on her lips. âright, right.â she said, nodding. she stopped in front of you, her eyes glancing you up and down. âyour outfit looks fine to me.â
you furrowed your brows. what does one even say when they're caught in a lie? "um- yeah, because i fixed it" i said in an obvious tone
âmhm.â she hummed, nodding. she took a glance to the bathroom door.
you bit your lip looking up at her, you were still leaning back against the sink. "you having fun with your boyfriend?" you asked
she raised a brow, stepping closer again, now standing in front of you. her expression was unreadable, but the smirk on her lips told she was amused.
âwhy do you care?â she asked, her eyes scanning your face, studying your body, slowly.
"just wondering, didnt look like you were having a good time" you shrugged
"oh? so you were watching me the whole night?" she said in a teasing tone, lifting a brow. she let her eyes slowly rake over your body once more, her tongue slowly licking her lips.
your eyes widened momentarily at your slip up "not.. the whole night, i just.. noticed." you said looking back up at her
ârighttt.â she hummed, not buying it. she took another step forward, now basically trapping you up against the sink.
âi didnât think Iâd have someone so fixated on me.â she said in a teasing tone, that smirk still tugging at her lips.
"you cant be serious.. you're caitlin clark.. in a bar.. full of your fans" you said amused. nonetheless you couldnt help but nervously look at down at where your bodies practically connected.
a soft chuckle left her lips, her eyes still on yours, taking in your reaction. her eyes flickered down to where your face was fixated and that smirk just grew again.
her smirk widened. âoh, so you're a fan then.â she teased, cocking her head to the side again, her eyes still studying your body.
one of her hands slowly slid up your waist and slowly around to the small of your back, pulling your hips to her.
your breath hitched involuntarily "um..no?" you honestly werent, but you weren't complaining about the position you were currently in.
caitlin chuckled softly, noticing the way your breath hitched. she slowly leaned forwards, her body pressing against yours. âyou're not? so you wouldnât mind if I didâŠthis?â she asked, gripping your hip with one hand before leaning in, her lips hovering over yours
you glanced down at her lips before back up at her "no" you whispered
that was all she needed, her smirk turning into a devilish smile before she pressed her lips to yours. the kiss wasnât shy or tentative, she was dominating and in charge, nipping your lip before slipping her tongue into your mouth.
you moaned softly into the kiss, your hand coming up to tangle in her hair
she pulled you impossibly close, backing you up so you were pressed against the sink, her hand gripping your waist as if to pin you there. her tongue exploring your mouth, she let out a soft moan as one of your hands tangled into her hair.
slowly she turned us around to back us into the bigger sized stall at the end, pulling away for a second to kick close and lock the door before pulling you in for another heated kiss
her hands were on you in an instant, exploring your body. she let out a another soft moan against your lips, pushing you up against the door, her body pressing against you. she slowly lifted your leg up, resting it against her hip as she slowly broke the kiss to kiss down your neck.
you threw your head back against the door, exposing more of your neck for her. your hand coming to tangle back into her hair
she kissed down your neck, nipping softly as her hands began to roam. exploring your body, they slowly ran up your thigh to your hip, her tongue sliding along your pulse point. she bit down on your neck, sucking on the skin there.
"fuck caitlin" you sighed biting your lip. one of your hands sliding underneath her crewneck, feeling her exposed skin.
she groaned against your neck, her fingers digging into your hips as your hand slid underneath her crewneck, the feeling of your fingers making her shiver. she nipped your ear, and spoke in a low whisper, âyou like that?â
"yeah..i do" you said slowly "can i take this off?" you said pulling at the hem off her sweatshirt
she nodded as her lips connected to your neck again, her tongue licking at the sensitive skin. âgo ahead.â she mumbled, pulling away to help you pull off the crewneck.
you tossed it on the small counter connected to the wall, glancing down at her body clad in just a black nike sports bra. you let out a slow shaky breath and for a moment you remember that you're literally pinned against a stall door by caitlin fucking clark. her words snapped me out of my trance
her hands were back on your body instantly, the feeling of your eyes roaming her body making her shiver. she smirked in satisfaction, leaning forwards so that she was right in front of you, her hands roaming. âsee something you like?â
you simply hummed before pulling her back in for another kiss
she smirked against your lips as you pulled her back in, her body pressed flush against yours. one of her hands slowly went back down to your hip, pinning you against the door as she deepened the kiss. her tongue exploring your mouth, she moaned softly, her hands making their way behind your back to unzip your dress, letting it fall off your shoulders and pool at your feet.
you gasped softly before pulling away to look up at her
she pulled away from the kiss to catch her breath, her eyes raking over your body, taking in everything before her. she bit her lip to hold back a smirk, her eyes slowly meeting yours. âfuck, youâre so hot.â she said in a low sultry whisper, her eyes studying your face and your body.
"thanks.." you muttered as if that was an appropriate answer to being told you look 'hot' by caitlin clark.
she suddenly dropped to her knees her hands running over my thighs, holding your legs apart. she bit her lip, her eyes raking over your body. âyou're so gorgeous.â she hummed, her lips trailing up your inner thigh, kissing the sensitive skin.
"oh fuck.. dont tease me please" you bit your lip stifling a moan that threatened to escape past your kiss bitten lips
she glanced up at you, noticing the way your bitten lip was failing to hold back a moan. she smirked again, her eyes darkened, taking in your expression. her hands slowly ran up your thighs, her lips getting closer and closer. "don't tease you?" she repeated teasingly, her nose brushing against your core through your underwear.
"caitlin please" you said gripping her hair tightly, your eyes fluttering shut at the feeling.
she groaned, letting out a soft moan as you tugged on her hair. the sound of you saying her name like that combined with the sound of you moaning, was almost enough to make her give in.
âyou want me to stop teasing, hm?â she asked in a soft whisper, running her tongue slowly along your thigh, tasting the skin there.
"yes please. please stop.." you managed to get out through moans
she groaned again at the way you begged, her fingers slowly hooking into the hem of your underwear. her tongue running along your thigh, she slowly began to pull them down. âyou have to be quiet thoughâŠcan you be quiet for me?â she asked again in a low whisper, looking up at you as she tugged your underwear down your thighs.
you all but fucking whimpered at her words, the feeling of her tongue, her hands pulling your underwear down "yeah i can be quiet. please." you got out
she continued nipping at your inner thighs, her tongue soothing over it
"caitlin please. i promise ill be quiet, just please stop teasing" you whimpered softly
she let out another teasing chuckle, her hands slowly running down from your hips. âwell because youâre being so good, i guess ill give you what you want.â she smirked
âwhat do you want, baby? Tell me exactly what you want.â she groaned
"want you to fuck me.. please.." you said looking down at her, tugging her closer to where you needed her
her breath hitched before her mouth connected to your core, groaning as she tasted you on her tongue. she moved slowly, letting her tongue tease you for a while, taking her time. her hands slowly trailing up your thighs, gripping them as if to hold you in place. âgodâŠyou taste so goodâŠâ she mumbled against you, her eyes slowly flickering up to yours
you squeezed your eyes shut, letting out a guttural moan. your hand tugged at her hair, pulling her impossibly closer as you arched into her touch
her hands came up to hold your hips, holding you in place as you arched into her. the sounds coming from your lips were driving her crazyâŠshe needed to hear her name pass through those lips. âlook at me.â She said, her tongue slowly tracing circles around your core.
you fluttered your eyes open to look down at her "fuck caitlin.. dont stop please" you begged absentmindedly
thatâs all she wantedâŠto hear her name coming out of your lips, the needy, broken tone. she groaned, her tongue slowly picking up speed, her hands gripping your hips to keep you in place. âthink you can take my fingers too? hm? tell me.â she mumbled, looking up at you.
you moaned before nodding quickly
she groaned at your reaction, âuse your wordsâŠyou have to beg for it.â she said, still moving her tongue at a fast rhythm, her eyes dark and blown out as she looked up at you, taking in the perfect sight before her.
"yes.. yes please fuck me caitlin.." you moaned out and it isnt until she slowly pumps her middle finger into your cunt, that you feel the coil in your stomach on the verge of snapping
"ooohhh fuck.. oh god just like that." you moaned out as she added another finger
she pumped her fingers in and out of you, enjoying the way your thighs clenched around her face as she brought you to your climax "you gonna come for me?" she muttered against your core
"mmhm yeah.. fuck im so close" you rambled before she sped up her actions, pushing you closer to the edge
her eyes darkened at the way how close you sounded, how wrecked she was making you feel. she curled her fingers, pumping them quickly , enjoying the way you squirmed under her touch. âcome for meâ she demanded, eyes trained on your face
"oh my god-" you moaned out as you came undone on her tongue, her fingers not slowing, instead helping you ride out your high
she watched you come undone, slowly bringing you back down to earth. once she knew you were done, she slowly pulled back, a small smirk appearing on her face as she took in your now wrecked expression. âyou okay?â
you took a shaky breath fluttering your eyes back open.. "yeah.. holy shit" you managed to get out
she let out a small chuckle, slowly standing back up until she towered over you again. she bit her lip, her eyes slowly raking over your body before coming back up to your face. âyou look fucked outâŠI did that.â she said with a cocky smirk.
you rolled my eyes "no way thats what you have to say after that."
she chuckled softly "i should get back out there, my team and.. connor.. are probably wondering where i went.." she said sighing
you narrowed your eyes before reluctantly pulling your dress back up your body "yeah you should.."
"you owe me though" she mumbled "give me your phone"
you furrowed your brows before unlocking your phone and handing it to her. she quickly typed in her number, adding her contact, her name simply said 'cait'
she helped zip up your dress before throwing her sweatshirt back on and walking out of the stall, where ironically she went to fix her hair and you your outfit.
"text me yeah?" she spoke up suddenly, turning to you
"yeah.. yeah i will" you said before she smiled and nodded before walking out of the bathroom. you smiled to yourself before walking out a few minutes after her to meet back up with jess.
lord knows you slept real good that night
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Hello Dearest Writer! I have read the Shattered Pride that you wrote which I like it! and I hope you don't mind me requesting ^^. I wanted to request for a lil' bit angsty Kenji Sato x Reader, where kenji & reader have a heated argument that leads to reader with tears streaming down her face from kenji's hurtful words and attempted to remove her engagement ring and proposed to end things for the better and kenji got scared and regret everything he said, so he asked for forgiveness, convinced her to stay and makes it up for her. Thank you so much, Writer! I hope you have a nice day!
Second to None
Kenji Sato x Reader
Word Count: 2,076
Genre/Warning: Angst, Character Development, Drama, Established Long-Term Relationship, Heartbreak, hurt/Comfort, Redemption
Authorâs Note: My works are becoming longer lately đ€§ Is that a good thing or not?
MASTERLIST | Shattered Pride
The reservation; a special menu and a gift sat neatly wrapped beside your plate. Your eyes dart to the door every few minutes, eagerly yet anxiously anticipating Kenjiâs arrival.
The minutes turned into an hour, each second becoming agonizingly longer than the last. Your discomfort became noticeable to those who arrived before and after you.
Some couples came in pairs. Others also waited but the arrival of their beloveds was only half as long as the duration of your waiting.
The waiter approached with a sympathetic smile. âWould you like to order now, miss?â He asked gently.
"Not yet," you replied, forcing a smile. "He should be here any minute." You smoothed down your dress, avoiding any more contact with someone who isnât Kenji.
âAre you on your way? Our reservation was at 7,â your message long showed as delivered, but still, no reply, and all your calls went straight to voicemail.
Your heart sank as the waiter returned, his expression more apologetic than before, "Shall I bring you a drink while you wait?"
"Yes, please," you answered, trying to mask your growing disappointment. You chose a glass of your favorite wine with Kenji, hoping the familiar taste would bring some comfort.
It was your fifth anniversary together, a milestone you had been looking forward to for weeks. Yet just like last year, it seemed like this would be a missed one too.
The first years of your relationship were pure bliss. The years that followed were less exciting but more comfortable. Yet from last year til today, some things were never the same.
At first, it felt like it was just because both of you had gotten used to each other. But as time progressed, it started seeming like your relationship was just a backgroundâa television turned on not for the sake of watching, but for the sake of not being alone.
It started with last yearâs missed anniversary; he said that it was an important out-of-town game that he couldn't skip. "I'm so sorry, the game went into extra innings and I missed the last train back. I'll be home late.â
He went home the next day.
You reminisced your first anniversary, a weekend getaway, a brief escape from your busy lives. The second, you had gone to a cozy little restaurant. The third had been a quiet dinner at home.
The fourth anniversary was marked by absence and loneliness; as this yearâs. It wasn't the first time Kenji's baseball career had come between you, but you had hoped that anniversaries would be different.
You started to wonder if you would always come second to his dreams.
Another hour passed and the restaurant began to empty as the night grew older. "Kenji, I'm still here. Please call me." But still, there was no response.
Finally, your phone buzzed, "I'm so sorry, practice ran late and then we had a team meeting. Iâll try to get there as soon as I can."
You stared at the message, a tear slipping down your cheek. You heard similar apologies countless times before, each one chipping away at your patience and hope.
You signaled the waiter and asked for the check. You couldn't sit there any longer and pretend that everything was fine.
You walked out into the cool night, clutching the small gift you had brought for Kenji. The streets were quiet, the city's usual buzz dulled by the lateness of the hour.
You felt a profound loneliness, one that wasn't just about this night but about the accumulation of missed moments and broken promises.
When you finally got home, the flat was dark. You placed the untouched gift on the table and changed into more comfortable clothes.
You were too drained, emotionally, to even wait for Kenji in case heâd come over. You lay down on your bed, more than willing to sleep off the pain you just canât get used to.
As your consciousness was being tugged to sleep, your phone buzzed again. It was Kenji, calling. And for the first time, you decided to put yourself first and slept.
Morning came and you sat at the dining table, a half-empty glass of wine in front of you. It was far too early to be drinking, but the remnants of last night's disappointment and loneliness still clung to you, and you needed something to numb the ache.
You swirled the wine in your glass, your mind replaying the evening over and over. The beautifully wrapped gift lay discarded on the coffee table.
You immediately slept last night but somehow, you hoped that Kenji would walk through the door with some grand gesture, some sign that he valued your relationship as much as she did. But he never came.
The sound of the key turning in the lock pulled you from your thoughts. Kenji walked in, looking exhausted and worn. His eyes immediately found yours, and he saw the wine glass in your hand.
"You're drinking this early?" he asked, concern laced with surprise. You didn't respond, just took another sip.
The silence was heavy, filled with all the words you wanted to say but didn't know how to begin. You set the glass down and met his gaze.
"Do you even realize what day it was yesterday, Kenji?" you asked, your voice trembling with a mix of anger and hurt.
He sighed, running a hand through his hair, "Of course, I do. I'm so sorry. Practice ran late and then there was an unexpected team meeting. Iââ
"You always have an excuse,â You cut him off, your voice rising. âDo you know how many times I've heard 'practice ran late' or 'there was a meetingâ? I'm tired of it!"
"I know," he said, trying to calm you down. "I really wanted to be here, but you know how important baseball is to me."
"And what about me, Kenji? Am I not important to you?" you snapped, tears welling up in your eyes. "I've sacrificed everything for you! I left my career, my family, my friends, everything to come to Japan and support you! And for what? To be stood up on our anniversary again?"
His face tightened, "It's not like that. You knew what you were getting into when you decided to come with me."
You took a step back, your voice dropping to a whisper. "So, it's my fault now?â You asked. âI chose to support you because I believed in us. But it feels like I'm the only one making sacrifices here."
"That's not fair," he retorted, frustration creeping into his tone. "I work hard for us. I'm trying to build a future for us."
"But at what cost, Kenji?" you shot back. "Every time I need you, you're not there. Every important moment, every milestone, you're always somewhere else. Do you even understand how lonely that is?"
He ran a hand through his hair, struggling to find the right words, "I'm doing my best. It's just... baseball is my dream. I can't give that up."
"And what about my dreams?" you cried, your voice breaking. "I had a career I loved, a life I was proud of! I gave all that up for you, believing that you would be there for me, that we would support each other. But it feels like I'm the only one who gave anything up!â
He took a deep breath, his own anger rising. "I never asked you to give up your career!â He said. âYou made that choice!â
Your eyes widened in shock and pain. "I made that choice because I loved youâbecause I thought we were building a life together,â you said, voice softening and heart breaking. âBut it seems like I'm the only one who sees it that way."
There was a long silence as you two stared at each other, the weight of unspoken words hanging heavily between you. Slowly, you reached for your engagement ring, your hands shaking.
"What are you doing?" Kenji asked, panic creeping into his voice.
You struggled to remove the ring, tears streaming down your face. "Maybe we're fooling ourselves, Kenji,â you said in between sobs. âMaybe this isn't working. I can't keep feeling like I'm second to your career. Maybe it's better if we end this now."
His heart raced, panic surged through him, and his voice trembled with desperation. "No, please don't," he said, stepping closer, his hands reaching out but hesitating to touch you. "I'm sorry for everything I've said. I didn't mean it. I love you, and I can't lose you."
You looked at him, the ring held loosely in your hand. "Do you really love me, Kenji?â You asked. âOr do you love the idea of me being here, waiting for you, always understanding and never complaining?"
He stepped closer, his eyes pleading. "I love you. I know I've been an idiot, and I know I haven't been there for you like I should. But I promise I'll do better. Just please, don't leave me."
His eyes filled with tears as he dropped to his knees in front of you, the weight of his regret crashing down on him. "I love you," he said, his voice breaking. "I know I've been an idiot, and I know I haven't been there for you like I should. Every time I chose baseball over you, I was wrong. I see that now.â
âPlease, don't take off that ring. Don't leave me,â he pleased. âI can't imagine my life without you."
You looked down at him, your own tears blurring your vision, âHow can I believe you, Kenji?"
He reached out, taking her hands in his and holding them tightly. "Because I can't bear the thought of losing you,â he said. âI'll do whatever it takes to prove to you that you're the most important thing in my life. I'll talk to my coach, I'll cut back on practiceâanything. Just please, give me one more chance."
You hesitated, the pain and love warring within you. His eyes were filled with genuine fear and remorse, and you could feel his hands trembling. "One more chance, Kenji,â you said. âBut things have to change. I can't keep feeling like this."
He nodded fervently, pulling you into a tight embrace, his heart pounding with a mix of relief and fear. "I promise, things will change,â he said. âI'll make it up to you, I swear. I love you more than anything. Please, believe me."
The next morning, Kenji came over early and made you breakfast, a small but heartfelt gesture to start making amends. He took the morning off practice and thought of having breakfast together.
Over the next few weeks, Kenji made noticeable changes. He began to prioritize your time together, making sure to balance his demanding baseball schedule with moments that were just for you two.
One evening, as you sat on the couch watching a movie, Kenji turned to you with a serious expression, "I talked to a few people, and I found a way for you to continue your work here in Japan.â
You looked at him, curiosity and hope in your eyes, "What do you mean?"
âThere are some production companies interested in meeting with you,â he said. âI want you to have your career back, to have something that's yours."
Tears welled up in your eyes, this time from gratitude and joy. "Kenji, that's... I don't know what to say. Thank you."
He took your hand, squeezing it gently. "I want you to be happy. I want us to build our lives together, supporting each other's dreams,â he said. âI'm sorry it took me so long to realize how much you were sacrificing."
True to his word, Kenji began to make your relationship a priority. He surprised you with small dates, like picnics in the park or quiet dinners at home. He even started learning a bit of Japanese cuisine to cook your favorite meals.
Kenji made it a point to never miss another important moment, attending every event and celebration that mattered to you. He cheered you on as you restarted your career, eager to see you shine.
In the end, you both learned that love required effort and compromise from both sides. It wasn't always easy, but you faced your challenges together, knowing that your love was worth fighting for. And with each passing day, you both found yourselves more deeply in love, more committed to the life you were building together.
Taglist is open! Comment if u wanna be tagged on future Kenji oneshots
@ppiglovestravel-blog @eternallyvenus @puppyminnnie @wattpadsuckssohard @sakura-onesan @reggies-eyeliner @buggs-1 @miffysoo @spencerrxids @stupidbutsmart @marimargirlies @mixvchelle @lannnu @lailuv21 @christiinee @abracarabbit @youngbananamilkshake @flutterfly365 @o-schist @brazilsho @arrozyfrijoles23 @finestflora @mmeerraa @mianbaobaoo @skyeliteratures @themourningfox @despacito-uwu16 @crimson-mage-02 @vinegarjello @btszn @berryjuicyy @https-mika @reader-1290
#kenji sato x reader#kenji sato#ken sato x reader#ken sato#ultraman: rising#ultraman#fanfiction#oneshot#dream of the endless#angst
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Sea Sickness
Sea Sickness
Luke Hughes x fem!reader (established relationship, but still new)
Idea: Reader gets nauseous from being on the boat at the Hughesâs Lake House and snuggles up to Luke.
Requested: Nope.Â
Authorâs Note: I know Iâm bouncing around who Iâm writing for, but Iâm on a NHL spree right now. I also get nauseated if I'm on a boat or in the ocean for too long. Fun Fact: I wrote the beginning part of this on a note card while working by myself in the OR today. We had a really long case where I just had to check up on people during the middle of it (hence why I wrote this on a card because I donât like going on my phone when Iâm in the OR. It's unprofessional). I donât know any of these people personally. The closest Iâve gotten to the team (that wasnât just playing in the band at the games or when they were walking past us down the 2023 red carpet in tampa) was a tuba was talking to some of them in his plane row on the ride back from that trip (he ended up being the tuba you see in the senior picture from 2024) and one of the coaches had to share our bus on the way back from the 2023 frozen four game with his wife and two young daughters (I kept trying to get the younger one to smile at me unsuccessfully). Someone from my hotel room also shared the elevator ride up with the entire Fantilli family the night they lost that game in 2023 (I think Adam also won the Hobey Baker award that same night). Iâve also been playing my lego lord of the rings game. Anyway, enjoy this little blurb.
Tagging some of my favorite Hughes/NHL writers, love yâall.
@wineauntie @thedevilrisen @winterbarnesblog @sc0ttersÂ
I forgot to mention that this is kinda based on the cute stuff @bedsyandco writes
I'm now sad when I'm uploading this because a friend from college drumline has an incurable brain cancer. Please keep him in your thoughts and prayers (he's only 19 or 20).
Requests are still open. Feedback is always appreciated. Also, tell me if you want to be part of a Tag List and Iâll tag you when I upload something new. If you want to only be tagged when I upload something for a certain character or shows, let me know as well. Â
Warning: None, just general fluff. Feeling sick on a boat.Â
Word Count: 488
Being on a boat wasnât your most favorite thing in the world, mainly because the last time you were on a boat, it got stuck in the middle of the laek and had to be towed back to shore (true story), but when your boyfriend Luke invited you to spend the weekend at the lakehouse with ihs brothers and friends, you weren't going to say no. The weekend had been filled with lots of eating, playing outside, and the boys being competitive at every game they pick up (even the old board game you brought to teach them how to play). Just trying to keep up with them all was exhausting, so thatâs how you ended up on the back of the boat enjoying the warm air instead of diving into the water again. The boys had been going back and forth between wakeboarding and chatting on the boat deck. With them supplying the lake with plenty of waves, the constand up and down was starting to make your stomach sick. You scooched over and made yourself comfortable laying your head on Lukeâs shoulder. He then opened his arms and wrapped you in his warm embrace so you could crawl on his lap and snuggle closer to his chest.Â
âYou feeling ok?âÂ
âYeah, just want to stop the constant movement.â It was getting to a point were you just wanted to stop the constant movement. It being really hot out didnât help either.Â
âWeâll head to shore soon. Then we can cool off inside.âÂ
Being wrapped up in Lukeâs embrace with his fingers gently carding through your hair or down your shoulder leaving goosebumps in their wake and shading you with his fit body definitely helped keep your mind off of your stomach and the boatâs ever shifting movements. Luke wasnât much of a pda person, but you always encouraged him to show little bits of it at least in front of his family or close friends. Â
Little did you know, thatâs exactly who was eyeing the interaction. Jack, Quinn, Trevor, Cole, and Dylan all had stopped what they were talking about in favor of watching the interaction between you two. Eventhough they were not all related, they felt like proud older brothers seeing Luke be so considerate and affectionate in front of them. Of couse theyâre all going to tease him relentlessly later about this, but they were gentlemen in regards to respecting the timing and the moment.
âJust lay down and close your eyes. Weâll be on shore soon.â You snuggled deeper into Lukeâs neck keeping your eyes closed and focused on his soft skin, his natural scent, and the way his warm body curled around yours. He even tugged on your legs to pull you fully into his lap as his large frame wrapped around your body fully encasing you in his warmth and comfort.Â
Nothing better than enjoying the summer with those you love.
#nhl imagine#luke hughes x reader#luke hughes#hughes brothers#luke hughes fluff#luke hughes imagine#jack hughes x reader#quinn hughes x reader#nhl#nhl players#hockey#hockey imagine#new jersey devils#nj devils#umich hockey#umich imagine#umich x reader
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I'm gonna be so serious, y'all are remembering POWDER and Ekko and not JINX and Ekko when screaming about how much you "wanted Timebomb endgame over Caitvi"
shoving JINX in a relationship with her current mental state is not a good writing choice whatsoever, because Ekko literally had to keep rewinding time because she kept trying to kill herself. If Anything, That relationship would be rushed and fanservice because they would have jumped the gun in 2 episodes vs the 2 seasons it took for Caitvi and showing their ups and downs throughout their whole relationship.
The alternate universe works because Powder doesn't become Jinx and the two don't separate, unlike this universe where the two have been at odds for 7 years and almost kill each other back in Ep 7 of S1.
"But Cait never said sorry!" she didn't really have to, because Vi never stopped being in love with the girl that she Knows Cait is at heart, the Cocktail Molotov scene in Act 2 makes that VERY apparent. Cait saying that she was waiting for Vi to recover to address Jinx is the start of it because Act 1 Cait wouldn't have even Considered doing that, because she was so gung-ho about putting a bullet into Jinx that she Demanded Vi move out of the way for her to do so. She holds herself accountable with the mistakes she's made ("We can't erase our mistakes. None of us." that wasn't just a line targeted at Jinx to prove a point, there's deeper meaning behind it), and moving the guards out of the cell proving that she trusts Vi and her judgment on Jinx is that apology, Caitlyn has always been an "acts of service" kinda person over being a "verbal" kinda person; it's all over the place in S1 but Especially here in S2. But even after she takes Vi's shirt off, you could tell by her eyes and body language that she was most likely going to stop herself again to apologize for hitting her because the wound was in the same spot she initially hit, which was part of the lead up for This wound to even happen, but Vi's the one that just pulls her back in instead.
I'm also gonna add on that Vi thinks she made the wrong choice in trusting Jinx and thinking Jinx's changed because Jinx locked her in the cell and ran away again. So why in the Hell would Vi go chasing after her Again to be met with the same result time and time again? Vi isn't responsible for Jinx's mental health and y'all saying that are just weird. And I think it's apparent that Stillwater probably wasn't even in the top 10 things in her head being with Caitlyn, she was just running wild on emotions that she hasn't allowed herself to feel like-- Ever. And even if it Was Vi probably would have said she wasn't comfortable being in a jail cell of all places.
What was I talking about? Oh right, Timebomb.
Like Yes, it's shitty that Ekko doesn't get a happy ending considering he's the most unproblematic in the entire show. But people tend to forget that at the end of the day, Arcane is a TRADGEDY. It's not She-ra, it's not The Owl House, it wasn't going to be wrapped up in a neat little bow where everyone gets to smile and walk into the sunset with their loved ones, especially considering the fact that this season's being used as build ups to other stories, it's relatively clear that this isn't the last we're going to see of a lot of these characters. When they come back into play? well... who's to say?
But also, let's address that a lot of the Caitvi hate is just straight up homophobia at this point because a lot of people can understand Mel's admission to manipulating Jayce as an apology but Cait's actions we're suddenly braindead and need shit completely spelled out. like good lord I'm so tired of this. Y'all would NEVER have survived Catradora let me tell ya...
(My next post is gonna be a long winded rant about Maddie so stay tuned for that...)
#arcane#arcane season 2#caitlyn kiramman#vi arcane#ekko arcane#jink arcane#caitvi#timebomb#league of legends#yall are weird#and hypocritical#to say the least#arcane discussion#im rambling again#but i have a point#making timebomb canon would be fanservice not caitvi#im just saying
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you know what I want to add a little bit more to that post. Mostly about the "Mel got removed from Jayce and finally became her own character" bit.
I fear my first reblog hasn't really captured the spirit of that yet. We get to know Mel in the second episode of season 1 and her first scene shows us how calculating and smart she is. She is also very aloof in this scene, not even acknowledging the person handing her the puzzles. Her conversation with Elora, while still showing some sort of relationship, is also distanced. She talks about her riches and how she is "still the poorest medarda" despite being the richest person in Piltover.
So what this tells us is this:
She is alone. In her family she seems to be the odd one out. She thinks herself to be standing in the shadow of her family (=mother though we only find that out in episode 8 of season 1). In short this basically tells us a contradiction. While everything they already gave us at this point in the show tells us she is incredible, smart, knowledgeable etc, she sells herself short.
When Mel talks to her mother about her banishment it isn't just a conversation, it explains to us who Mel is and why she is that way. It tells us that in a way she is self conscious and hides herself away. This is the starting point of her character, keep that in mind.
Ok, that brings us to my next point. How she used that childrens toy to her advantage. Again, smart as fuck. Had she not done this, then Jayce would have been banished. There were 4 votes against 3 meaning gaining that one vote changed the fate of Jayce, literally. She didn't find Jayce interesting as a person but as an investment during this time though. Nothing about him influenced any of her decisions, especially not here. She chose to give away that toy and she chose to vote against Jayce's banishment.
The look Mel and Jayce give each other after Jayce and Viktor found their way to Hextech also already spoke volumes. They obviously had the hots for each other and like good for them, lmao. After the timejump their relationship has shifted as well. While she still obviously sees the investment, she now also sees him as a person, too. They are extremely comfortable with each other.
Now after Jayce didn't show their newest Hextech project? She did walk away but that also gave us something:
She very obviously isn't resentful. That is also seen in how, while rightfully being annoyed, she immediately gets why Jayce left after their night together. Her giving Jayce the position in the council ALSO wasn't cause she loved him but for political reasons. That, again, tells us another thing about her:
She can clearly separate work and home life.
All of this, while maybe including Jayce, are of her own character and not because of someone else. We see her acting in the council too, and that's also interesting. Because while some others like Salo seem to be ready to jump around and scream, she never does. She waits, calculates, listens and then offers her voice. She is never holding back but she also doesn't just react crazy. Not once. Not after the explosion happens in act 1 of season 1, not when Jayce talks about Magic, not when Vi is in the council with Caitlyn, not even in the end of season 1 when Jayce proposes the peace treaty with Zaun. None of this is linked to Jayce or because of Jayce. She just is her own character.
And then season 1 did something incredibly fascinating. Now they actually introduced a character Mel seems to have some dependency to. Her mother; Ambessa Medarda. It's reluctant and it's awkward and it strengthens her character very much.
At this point in the story the love between Jayce and her is already blossoming, it's after their sex scene. Their relationship doesn't influence any of her other decisions, she doesn't suddenly act differently to before or becomes dependent on Jayce. If anything it, again, strengthens her.
When in the beginning we saw her as thinking she is standing in her mothers shadow, she now steps into the light when she steps up and calls out Ambessa. When she lets go of the weight of family holding her down to vote for peace, it also shows how she's grown. She isn't distanced anymore, nor is she someone who stills sees herself in her mothers shadow. Her character went from incredible with an arc before her to that arc being masterfully concluded. And that happened WITH Jayce and not BECAUSE of Jayce. When in the beginning she was aloof, distanced and calculating, in the end she was ready to show herself to Jayce, be herself and be caring. She wasn't distanced and gave Jayce a look into her life (telling him about her family after he told her about his troubles).
She was still very smart but also let herself be emotional about a decision, she gave away the weight of her family and left the shadow it cast over her completely.
Anyways yeah just wanted to talk more about Mel. Because she was nothing but very interesting in season 1 and saying she just now got interesting after not being with Jayce rubbed me the wrong way whoops
#oopsie#i just really hate how people act like she didnt have anything going in season 1#like no#arcane#arcane season 1#arcane season 2#character analysis#character development#analysis#relationship#character appreciation#mel medarda#ambessa medarda#jayce talis#meljay#viktor#jayvik#caitlyn kiramman#vi#i fear when i saw Im a lesbian about Mel it stands#because I am I LOVE her#crazy how that doesnt mean I have to be weird about it woah#lesbian#tagging this just because I can#giggles
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Ruggie Purring Headcanons
A/N: Iâve had absolute brainrot for Ruggie since I got my grubby little hands on this game awhile back, and he has consumed my very life and become a comfort character for me. So here are some purring headcanons that I just... canât fucking get out of my head.
Warnings: None that I know of.
- Yeah so apparently hyenas can purr? So my brain absolutely took that idea and ran with it.
- Ruggie, who doesnât understand that he has a crush on you at first, and is actually confused why heâs purring, as it can be both a subconscious and conscious thing. However, as soon as it happens and heâs aware of it, he immediately stops it and covers it up with a blush on his face and a teasing jab at you to change the subject entirely.
- Ruggie, who after he starts dating you, and is that âhoneymoon phaseâ of his excitement, canât stop purring in your presence sometimes, especially when the two of you are alone.
- Ruggie, who, when heâs stressed out beyond belief, hurt, or just upset, purrs to self-soothe himself.
- Ruggie, who, notices whenever youâre stressed out beyond belief, hurt, or upset, will purr to soothe you. Heâll wrap you up in his arms and purr so loudly that you can almost âfeelâ his chest vibrating against yours in a way. Sometimes he might not be good with words, but he does show that he cares in the instinctive ways he knows how.
- Ruggie, who, absolutely would be teased by anyone if he was gushing about you in some way, and accidentally starts purring because heâs thinking of you. His grandma in particular thinks itâs very adorable that you have that kind of effect on him.
Anyway I have an absolute obsession with this dude and I wholeheartedly blame him from stealing my heart. To think I started this whole game because I saw Idia and needed to know more about him, even picked his card when I started the game, only to be absolutely SIDE SWEPT by this little hyena dude and fall on my ass in love with him.
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⧠word count: 26.1k ⧠genre: angst, hurt/comfort, fluff, paranormal/supernatural au, ghost!jisung ⧠warnings: mentions of death, prominent side character dies early in the fic, depictions of grieving, family member of the reader is sick (itâs dementia-like, though the disease is never named in the fic), family tension/drama (reader has some family members that are not very nice to her), reader has some sleep/physical health issues at one point, reader is just really going through it in this fic for a while ⧠extra info: the readerâs mom in this has early-onset memory issues; i didnât name a specific disease because im not a medical expert of any kind and didnât want to misrepresent any real-life illness in this fic. i combined both my own experiences with my own family members who have had these kinds of illnesses and some research, but i am not an expert and the representation in this fic may not be entirely accurate! ⧠authorâs note: i donât think iâve done a spooky fic like this before? but this one was super fun! also i will say it takes a little bit for jisung to show up, so please be patient when you donât see him in the first few scenes, heâll be there, i promise! ⧠sequel
That night, the rain was still pounding against the windows. Your mom had gone to bed a while ago, but your mind was restless. Something had happened again as you were helping your mom get ready for bed. Your stepdadâs reading glasses, which were on the nightstand on his side of their bed, as they had been since he passed, had fallen off with seemingly no rhyme or reason. Not wanting your mom to get spooked about the house again, you reassured her that you had just bumped into the furnitureâher back was turned when they fellâbut it left you with an uneasy feeling.
âHi, Hyukjun.â You picked up the phone call from your stepdad as you headed back towards your office building from the restaurant youâd taken your lunch break at.
âHi, sweetheart. How are you?â His warm, familiar voice was on the other end as always, though there was something different about it, something you couldnât quite put your finger on from the quality of your phone speaker. Your steps slowed thoughtfully as you listened more attentively, a pit growing in your stomach.
âIâm good,â you answered shortly, suspicion creeping over you. âHow are you two?â
It wasnât that you didnât appreciate hearing from your stepdad, you were on good terms with him. Your father passed when you were a little girl, and your mom continued to raise you on her own, not even considering any romantic prospects until you graduated high school. She and Hyukjun only dated for six months before marrying and had been happily married since. Hyukjun was a mild-mannered divorcee with three adult sons of his own, all of whom were at least a decade older than you, and none of which you were exceptionally close with. When your mom had been diagnosed only five years into their marriage, he began taking care of herâno question and no complaints. With her condition, you were fairly certain that you visited them more than Hyukjunâs own kids did, despite all of them living nearby to your knowledge.
He at least didnât beat around the bush anymore. ïżœïżœSheâs getting worse, Y/N.â
âHow bad?â
âShe thinks the house is haunted,â he admitted. âAnd IâŠâ
âWhat?â You prompted him.
âSheâs been asking for you. I know youâre busy, but if you could visit soon, I think itâd really help her.â
âYeah, I have some time this weekend,â you agreed immediately. âIâll be there.â
âThanks.â
You were arriving at the building then, slowing to a stop outside as you prepared to hang up. âMy break is ending, Hyukjun, Iâve got to go.â
âOf course,â he acquiesced. âHey, I love you.â
âI love you too.â You looked up at the gray storm clouds gathering in the sky above you. âAnd tell Mom I love her, and Iâll be there soon.â
âI will. Have a good rest of your day at work, sweetheart.â
âRight. Bye.â
When your mom and Hyukjun got married, you already had a lease on a small place closer to your job in the city, so your mom sold your childhood home and moved in with Hyukjun. Despite the small twinge of sadness at her selling your childhood home, the place where you, your mom, and dad had all been together, you were happy that she was no longer there by herself. Their home was a quaint two-story, two-bedroom townhome, with well-tended flowerbeds and a porch swing out front. A long time ago, you knew that this house had been your stepbrothersâ childhood home, the three of them sharing what was now the guest room, Hyukjun and his ex-wife occupying the primary bedroom that was now his and your motherâs. Hyukjun had been divorced for many years before he met your mom, you didnât know the exact number off the top of your headâyou werenât sure if you had ever been told.
The snapdragons were in bloom, stalks of purples and blues and pinks, and you squatted down next to one. Feeling a bit like a child, you gently squeezed the sides of one flower to make the âmouthâ of the dragon open, like Hyukjun had shown you one of the first times youâd met, the very first time you ever went to his house. The front door opened, and you looked up to see your stepdad stepping out of the house. You stood up, walking up the three short steps from the sidewalk to meet him on their porch.
âI saw you coming up the street,â he explained, gesturing to the front window. âItâs good to see you, Y/N.â
âHi, Hyukjun.â You hugged him. âGood to see you too.â
âI just wanted to give you a heads up. Sheâs calm, but sheâs not exactly⊠here,â he explained. âI didnât want you to be caught off-guard.â
You nodded in understanding. âOkay. Thanks for letting me know.â
Following your stepdad into the house, he guided you towards the living room at the back of the house.
âHon?â He poked his head into the living room.
Your mom looked up from where she had been reading a book in an armchair, her face breaking into a gentle smile. âOh, Sangwoo, youâre back.â
âYes, I picked Y/N up, just like you asked.â Your stepdad stepped aside to let her see you.
You pushed aside the alarms going off in your mind to give your mother as calm of a smile as you could, approaching her with your hand outstretched. âHi, Mom, itâs Y/N.â
âY/N, hi, sweetie.â She beamed at you, taking your hand that was offered and squeezing it tight. âHow was school?â
âIt was good, I had a good day,â you answered brightly. Looking down at the book in her lap, you asked, âWhat are you reading?â
Your mother had been a Literature teacher for all her life, before her diagnosis forced her to retire many years before she ever wanted to. She would read to you at any opportunity when you were a kid, especially at bedtime. It was always easiest to get her talking now about whatever book she was reading, no matter where her mind was.
âOh, Iâll tell you about it later. First, do you have homework?â
âNo, Mom, nothing today.â
Hyukjun cleared his throat then. âYou must be hungry, Y/N. Would you like something to eat?â
âYes, yes, go get a snack.â Your mother insisted.
âOkay,â you acquiesced, giving her hand another tight squeeze. âIâll be right back after my snack. I want to hear about your book.â
In their kitchen, you turned on your stepdad with wide eyes. âSheâs not just mixing up your names anymore, she thinks you are my dad!â
âSometimesâŠâ Hyukjun nodded, leaning against a kitchen counter. âNot always. She has her lucid days still.â
In the bright kitchen lighting, you could see a certain tiredness in Hyukjun that was new, a pallor in his skin, a hitch in his breaths, a lag in his movements, none of which used to be there.
âWhatâs wrong?â You asked, eyes locking on his. âWith you? You were going to tell me something on the phone, and you didnât. Tell me.â
He sighed, the sound dragging out into a wheeze and then a hacking cough that he covered in his elbow, and you winced just watching him. When heâd caught his breath again, he answered, âThey found a tumor, in my lung. I have maybe six months, Y/N.â
âThatâs it?!â You blurted out. âI-I mean, even with chemo, or radiation, or whatever?â
âIâm notââ
âItâs not treatable?â
He cast a sidelong glance down the hall, at the room where your mother was. âSomeone needs to take care of her. I need to be here, and after Iâm gone, our savings will go towards her care. We canât spend it all on something that might give me another few months.â
âAnother few months with her! With us!â You grabbed his arm, knowing how desperate you sounded. âWhat about your kids? Do they know what youâre doing?â
âNo.â His voice was heavy, but determined. âI know you all donât talk⊠but donât tell them, please.â
His face wavered in your vision as your eyes filled with tears. You tried to swallow them down, but a couple spilled over. âLet me move in, and help. I want to take care of both of you. Please.â
âWhat about your job?â
âIâll figure it out. Donât worry about me. Youâve done enough for me, for us. Let me do something for you.â
âThank you.â
Your work agreed to let you move into a part-time remote position. Most days you were able to get all your done, early even. Not only was Hyukjun there, but a memory care aide named Nayoung came by for an hour three days a week to assist as well.
It had been a month since you moved into the primary bedroom on the second floor, the bedroom that used to be your mom and stepdadâs. You found out that they moved their things into the guest room on the first floor two months ago, when your mom hurt herself on the stairs. It had only been a skinned knee, but Hyukjun didnât want to risk something worse.
That night you laid in bed with your laptop open, desperately trying to finish up a report that was due the next day. Today had been rougher, your mom needing constant redirection and reorientation, not to mention the conversation that you had with your stepdad earlier this evening. Usually after your mom went to sleep, the two of you would watch a movie or a couple episodes of a show, or just have a drink and chat. It was a nice, slow, easy part of your day with just the two of you. But this time as you rooted around the for the fresh tub of ice cream that you had just bought from the store, and called to him over your shoulder asking if he wanted a bowl, you saw him waiting for you with papers in his hand.
One of the errands heâd sent you on today, in addition to groceries, the post office, and the pharmacy, had been to an attorneyâs office. Youâd known that, you werenât stupid. There, you had been handed a large envelope with the law firmâs name embossed on it, and your stepdadâs name typed on a label under that. You didnât inquire as to the contents of the envelope from the receptionist, nor your stepdad when you delivered it to him upon returning home. It was none of your business. But at the kitchen table that night, he showed you the documents that he had drawn up.
Once he passed, you would own his house, the one that you lived in now, as a life estate pur autre vie. For the life of another. Until your mother passed, you would own his house, and could stay here and take care of her. Then, once she passed, the house would go to his sons, your stepbrothers, as heâd always intended.
You sighed and deleted the sentence youâd just written. âStupid, stupid,â you muttered to yourself. Looking at the time, you let out another sigh and rubbed your face in exasperation. âIâm never going to fucking finish this.â
Setting the laptop aside, you pushed your covers off yourself and got out of bed. Keeping your footsteps light, you crept downstairs and into the kitchen to get yourself a glass of water. After drinking a whole glass in the kitchen, you refilled it to bring it back up to bedroom with you. Halfway up the stairs, the sconce on the wall next to your head flickered on, making you pause. Youâd left all the lights off on your way down. Peering behind the frosted glass cover, you reached your hand back there and tightened the bulb. The light stopped flickering, and you looked around at the empty, dark staircase again. Shrugging to yourself, you finished your journey to your room.
Cutting up your momâs breakfast into small pieces, you hummed a song that had been stuck in your head. The sound of something clattering startled your peaceful reverie, and your head snapped up immediately. You darted around the kitchen counter to get your eyes on where your mom was sitting at the kitchen table.
âYou okay, Mom?â You asked, eyes searching her for any signs of injury or distress.
âOh, Iâm fine, sweetie,â she reassured you, pointing at a point on the floor further away from her. You saw that a silver utensil was gleaming up from the tile. âI dropped my fork, thatâs all.â
âIâll grab you another one when I bring your food in, donât worry about it,â you reassured her. âLeave it, Iâll pick it up in a sec.â
Returning to the kitchen, you finished cutting her food, then prepared yours and Hyukjunâs plates. Carrying all three of them in, along with your momâs clean fork, you cocked your head when you saw the fork sitting on the closest edge of the table to the kitchen. Looking at Hyukjun, who had joined your mom at the table in the interim, you said, âYou didnât have to pick up the fork, Hyukjun, I was going to grab it.â
His face betrayed his momentary confusion, looking between the food you just set in front of him, then to the fork on the edge of the table. âThat was there when I came in. I didnât move it.â
As you set your momâs food down for her, you asked, âMom, did you get the fork?â
But her eyes had a familiar far-out appearance, and you knew she wasnât going to be able to answer you. You shook your head at yourself, putting your own plate down and grabbing the dirty fork off the table. Dropping it in the kitchen sink, you then returned to the table to take your seat next to your mother and across from Hyukjun.
You werenât sure why you were awake at first. Everything seemed quiet, but something didnât feel right. Sitting up in bed, you checked the time on your phone. 2:48 a.m. You desperately wanted to go back to sleep, but you couldnât shake the uneasiness in your mind, and so you pushed the covers off of you.
As soon as you were at the top of the stairs, you could hear voices downstairs, your motherâs and your stepdadâs. Your stepdad was clearly trying to keep his voice down, but your mom wasnât, and she sounded distressed.
âSangwoo, Iâm telling you somethingâs wrong with this house! We need to go! Whereâs Y/N?!â She demanded of him.
âSheâs fine, sheâs sleeping. Please, tell me whatâs wrong with the house, and we can try to fix it,â he pleaded with her quietly.
You finally made it to the hallway just outside their bedroom, taking in the scene of your momâs wild, scared eyes and Hyukjunâs desperate concern. âMom, Iâm here, Iâm okay.â
âY/N!â She let out a gasp of relief as soon as she saw you. âOh, youâre okay.â
âYes, Mom, Iâm okay.â You offered her your hand, and she grabbed it tightly. âWhatâs wrong? Why are you up?â
âIâve been trying to tell your dadââ She gestured to Hyukjun pointedly. âBut this house isnât right.â
âWhat do you mean?â
âIt just isnât right,â she repeated insistently. âWhat happened to our old house? We need to go back there!â
You looked at Hyukjun desperately, at a loss for words to explain that she sold it years ago. Thankfully, he took over.
âItâs late, hon. We canât go all the way back to the old house this late at night, especially not with Y/N. Itâs not safe,â he persuaded her gently.
She seemed to relax a little at this. âOh. Right. Itâs late.â
âCan you read me something, Mom?â You requested sweetly.
This finally brought a smile to her features, and she nodded, her grasp on your hand turning tender. âOh, of course, Y/N. Iâm sorry I woke you, sweetie.â
âItâs alright, Mom,â you reassured her, leading her back into their bedroom. âEverythingâs alright.â
Hyukjunâs funeral was quaint. It was kept to family and close friends, and organized mostly by his sons and ex-wife. You didnât mind, your mother was in no shape to organize a funeral, and you were more than happy to step aside and support her through this while they dealt with the details.
Today of all days was one of your motherâs better days, possibly one of the best that sheâs had in a while, and you didnât know if that was better or worse. Better, you decided, so she could say goodbye to him properly. After the small funeral was the wake, held at Hyukjunâs homeâwhich was now your home, you realizedâand was a more open-door affair. Your momâs memory care aide, Nayoung, came as well, which you were glad for. While your stepbrothers and their mother played host more than you, greeting guests as they showed up, chatting and reminiscing with them about all their shared memories of Hyukjun from years or even decades ago, it was still your residence, and you couldnât bring yourself to just stay in a corner. Hyukjun had been your family too, for however brief a period of your life.
You were alone in the kitchen getting refreshments for yourself, your mom, and Nayoung when you sensed that you werenât by yourself. Turning around, you did in fact see your stepbrothers entering the kitchen, followed by their mother.
You offered them all a small, polite smile. âHi.â
âGlad we caught you, Y/N,â the oldest brother flashed you a grin. âYou got a sec?â
âYeah, of course.â
âWe know it must be really tough for you, taking care of your mom by yourself now,â their mother said, her voice coated in an over-the-top sugary sweet sympathy.
You shrugged noncommittally. âNayoung helps.â
The youngest jumped in, âWe just wanted you to know that you and your mom can take as much time as you need to move out.â
âOf course, of course,â their mother agreed. âYou know, a week or two.â
They all nodded and murmured in agreement, focusing the same overeager, empty, sympathetic faces on you that made you feel like you were surrounded by some kind of predator that wanted to empathize you to death. Steeling your nerves, you met all of their eyes in turn as you went to answer.
âWeâre not moving out.â You informed them firmly. âHyukjun left the house to me to keep taking care of my mom. After⊠itâs all yours.â
âAnd weâre supposed to believe youâll just give it to us?â The youngest scoffed, immediately dropping his kind, caring act. All of their faces were somewhere between disbelief and anger.
âNo, he set it up that way. You can get your copies of the papers from his attorney, Mr. Shin.â You brought out the business card for the attorney who drafted the papers. Youâd tucked it into your wallet absentmindedly when itâd been given to you on your initial errand from Hyukjun, and you were glad you hadnât had the time to clean out your wallet since. You set the business card down on the counter between you.
The oldest snatched up the card. âThereâs no wayâŠâ
âWeâre going to fight this. No way the house is yours,â the youngest swore.
The middle son spoke finally, his gaze hard as he glared at you. He practically snarled, âYouâre not his family, youâve never been.â
âIt was good seeing you all again,â you said, no emotion in your voice. Abandoning your three glasses, you scooted around the counter, then around them, heading towards the kitchen door that they had been blocking the whole time. âPlease have all communications about the property go through Mr. Shin. Heâll be able to answer your questions better than I can.â
Crying at a wake was normal. Encouraged even. But you werenât amongst loved ones, remembering someone youâd lost. You were alone, sitting at the top of the stairs in the dark, crying into your arms to muffle your sobs as you tried to compose yourself from the confrontation youâd just survived. Barely. Your hands were balled into fists to keep them from shaking.
âAre you okay?â A quiet voice caught your attention, gentle, then hushed as he seemed to be speaking to himself, âWhy are you asking that? Stupid, stupid.â
You picked your head up out of your arms, quickly wiping the tears that had been streaming down your cheeks as you spotted a young man at the bottom of the stairs. He had dark hair and was dressed in a pair of black pants, a white shirt, and what looked like a black cardigan over the shirt. You didnât recognize him from the wake, but you hadnât greeted everyone, nor did you know all the mourners personally. Many were either family friends of Hyukjunâs from before he met your mother, old colleagues, or distant relations.
Sniffling and trying to right your clothes, you offered him as much of a smile you could muster, âIâm sorry, itâs uhm, been a long day.â
He froze, his eyes locking on yours and going wide. The man looked behind him, as if expecting you to have been addressing somebody else, and upon seeing an empty hallway, he turned back to you and hesitantly replied, âThatâs⊠okay. Are you alright?â
âOh, as alright as I can be, I suppose,â you admitted, dabbing at your eyes with your sleeve again. You werenât sure why you were telling this random man that, but he had spotted you sobbing at a wake, so there wasnât much of a point in covering that fact up. âWere you looking for the bathroom orâŠ?â
âNo, just stretching my legs.â He pushed his hands into the pockets of his cardigan. âIâm sorry for your loss.â
âThank you.â You nodded. âI donât think I saw you at the funeral. How did you know my stepdad? Family friend?â
âYeah, I was around when his kids were growing up.â
âOh, are you a childhood friend of his sons or something?â
âFriend is a stretch, I think,â he chuckled.
You couldnât help but laugh bitterly as well, adding a polite but hollow, âIâm sure they appreciate you coming out to pay your respects.â
As he shifted on his feet, the shadows on his face lessened, letting you see his features better. You furrowed your brow with interest.
âHow old are you? I meanâYou donât look older than me, you mustâve been much younger than them growing up.â
âI-I mean, we werenât very close,â he stammered, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly.
Feeling bad about putting him on the spot in this sort of scenario, you offered him a sympathetic smile. âSorry, I didnât mean anything by that. I didnât grow up with my stepbrothers, so I guess itâs a bit hard for me to imagine them having friendsâOh!â
As soon as the words were out of your mouth, you slapped a hand over it, wishing you hadnât said them, especially not to some stranger, who for all you know could turn right around and repeat it to your stepbrothers. That would be the last thing you needed, to give them another reason to hate you, and by extension, your mother.
âThat didnât come out right!â You desperately tried to backpedal, holding your hands out in front of you. âI-I meant that I havenât met a lot of their friends, since our parents got together later in life, andââ
âItâs okay, itâs okay,â he reassured you calmly, taking a couple hesitant steps up the stairs. You scooted over to make room for him to sit next to you on the top step. He pressed himself against the banister, leaving plenty of space between you two. âI didnât mean to, but I heard some of what they said to you in the kitchen.â
âI would normally be upset at you for eavesdropping, but Iâm kind of glad that somebody else heard some of the shit they said to me this time,â you chuckled cynically.
ââThis time?ââ He repeated questioningly. âAre they always like that to you?â
âI donât see them that often. I think the first time I met the middle son was at the wedding, actually,â you said. âThey started spending more holidays with their mom instead of Hyukjun when my mom⊠after her diagnosis.â
âOh.â
âGod, sorry, you donât need to be hearing all this shit.â You shook your head at yourself. âI mean, I donât even know your name.â
âIâm Jisung.â
âY/N.â
âFor what itâs worth, I donât think itâs true. You and your mom are his family, too.â
You messed with the sleeves of your shirt as you stared at the bottom step, gnawing on your bottom lip, ignoring the metallic taste of blood when you broke skin. Finally, once youâd swallowed down the lump in your throat, you replied with a tight, âThanks. And I mean, I understand why they would be upset. Their dad just died and two people who are essentially strangers to them are now living in their childhood home. Of course they feel weird about it.â
âThatâs... gracious.â
âItâs true. And like I said, their dad died, they deserve some grace.â From elsewhere in the house, you could hear your mom calling your name, and immediately jumped to your feet. âSorry, Iâve got to go.â
âI understand.â Jisung nodded to you. âIt was nice talking to you, Y/N.â
âYeah, you too. Thanks for listening, Jisung.â You waved to him over your shoulder as you rushed down the stairs and off in the direction of your motherâs voice.
The next day, you had habitually started preparing three plates of breakfast before you caught yourself. In the first couple days after his passing, it was painfully in the foreground of your mind with everything you did, but this was the first time youâd found yourself going about a daily task and it had slipped your mind. You left the full plate of food in the kitchen to clean up later, and took just yours and your momâs plates to the kitchen table.
âDo you want to go on a walk after breakfast?â You proposed as you ate.
It was something that Hyukjun and your mom did every morning. Sometimes you joined them, but usually you took the opportunity to clean up around the house or get work done in the quiet. Your mother had no trouble ambulating, it was her mind that was going faster than anything else. With Hyukjun no longer here to walk with her, you didnât want her to lose that precious time going out, or the exercise. Not to mention, you needed to get out of the house again.
âOh, Iâd love to, sweetie,â she agreed with a smile, one that you noticed didnât reach her eyes.
âAfter weâre done, Iâll clean up while you get ready.â
As you scooped the extra food into a plastic container at the end of breakfast, you realized the lid that youâd grabbed was the wrong size. Opening the cabinet that contained all the plastic containers, you squatted down with a sigh, mentally preparing yourself to ransack through the absolute mess that greeted you down there. Hyukjun normally kept it meticulously organized, all containers accompanied by their proper lids, but in your rush to clean up after everyone left the wake late last night, you had effectively ruined all of it.
You tried to just look under a haphazard stack of plastic containers, and they of course all came crashing out onto the kitchen floor. You groaned, plopping down onto your butt as you got ready to have to put them all back. But as you went to pick up the first one, an overwhelming, crushing feeling of loneliness and sorrow hit you like a bus, and you covered your face as you started sobbing. The hot tears stung your eyes, every shaking breath you took hurt your chest, and even the task of putting the tupperware back seemed impossible and monumental now.
Rubbing one of your eyes, you inhaled and forced yourself to grab just one container to put back. âCome on, donât have time for this.â
Slowly, you put the containers away, until there was one lid left that had slid much further away from you. You crawled over to it, realizing the shape seemed familiar as you held it in your hands. Standing back up, you fitted it over the container of leftovers you had perfectly.
âHuh.â Your sobs petered out as you looked down at it curiously. âThat couldâve been easier.â
Throwing open the front door, you grunted as you hauled your heavy grocery bags into the home.
âY/N? Is that you?â Nayoungâs voice called out. She had increased the frequency and duration of her visits since Hyukjunâs passing, and today you took the opportunity to do some much-needed restocking of the kitchen during her stay.
âYeah!â You yelled back.
âDo you need any help?â
âNo, Iâm fine!â You hopped on one foot as you tried to wedge your other foot behind the door to close it. âJustâShit!â
The door suddenly came loose, slamming closed even harder than you had opened it. Nayoung came around the corner with wide eyes, looking rather startled.
âIs everything okay?â She asked, taking a couple bags from your hands, looking you over inquisitively.
You looked between your still-raised foot and the door, a bit dumbfounded. You swore you hadnât kicked it that hard. This wasnât actually your house, after all.
âYeah, Nayoung, Iâm okay,â you reassured her, leading the way into the kitchen. âDo you have a window open? There must be a cross-breeze or something.â
âNo, I donât think so.â
It was pouring rain outside, the sky dull and gray, occasionally lit up with flashes of lightning. The constant pounding downpour was interspersed with cracks of thunder that would rattle frames on the walls. The weather was so bad that Nayoung couldnât even make it out, leaving just you and your mom all day. It wasnât so bad, today was a better day for her. She was calm at least, despite the weather, absorbed in her books for most of the day. Maybe a little too absorbed, as it was hard to tear her away for meals or snacks. But you could get your work done and do chores around the house uninterrupted, and once you finished your own to-do list, you were able to sit down in the living room with her and read as well.
After a particularly bright flash of lightning, followed by a boom of thunder that made you feel like you were in a low-level earthquake rather than a thunderstorm, the lights went out entirely. You heard the telltale clatter of your mom dropping her book in surprise as she gasped.
âMom?â You called out to her, both to check on her and so she knew that you were still there.
âIâm okay, sweetie,â she promised. âI just got startled and dropped my book.â
âStay there,â you directed her, pulling out your phone and turning on your flashlight. You could see that her book had skidded some distance away from her, out of armâs reach. âIâll check the breaker. Donât get up, I donât want you tripping over anything.â
âAlright. Be safe.â
Opening the utility closet in the laundry room, you threw your hands up in exasperation as you looked over the circuit breaker. You had no fucking clue what you were doing. Right as you had turned on your phone, fully intent on searching the internet for what the fuck you were supposed to do now, the power came back on all on its own.
âWell, there we go!â You called out through the house, starting back towards your mom. âIâm a genius!â
Upon your return to the living room, you stopped when you noticed one key difference: The book was no longer on the floor. It was on the side table next to your mom. There was no way your mom couldâve moved fast enough to have gotten the book and then sat back down in the time since the lights turned back on.
You sighed gently. âI told you not to get up, Mom.â
âI didnât.â
âThen howâd the book get there?â You pointed to the book knowingly.
âI didnâtââ She looked at it curiously, then at where it used to be on the floor. âOh⊠I guess I mustâve⊠Sorry, sweetie.â
You walked over to rest a hand on her shoulder. âItâs okay, Mom. Iâm sorry if I seemed upset with you. I just donât want you getting hurt.â
She patted your hand. âI know, Y/N. Youâre doing a good job.â
The rain was still pounding against the windows that night. Your mom had gone to bed a while ago, but your mind was restless. Something had happened again as you were helping your mom get ready for bed. Hyukjunâs reading glasses, which were on the nightstand on his side of their bed, as they had been since he passed, had fallen off with seemingly no rhyme or reason. Not wanting your mom to get spooked about the house again, you reassured her that you had just bumped into the furnitureâher back was turned when they fellâbut it left you with an uneasy feeling.
Youâd pocketed the glasses instead of replacing them on the nightstand, and were staring at them on the kitchen counter now, fondly remembering the way he used to peer at you over the lenses as he read the newspaper in the morning and you made sarcastic quips about whatever headlines were on the pages facing you.
âHyukjun?â You said his name into the empty air, uncertainty making your voice waver. After a beat of silence, you hissed, âOf course you werenât going to get a reply, stupid, stupid.â
Trying to gather yourself, you moved to open the freezer, securing the tub of ice cream from inside it. Sitting at the kitchen table with two spoons, you set one in front of Hyukjunâs spot across from you. Glumly spooning some ice cream into your mouth, you barely tasted it as you stared at his empty chair.
âI miss you,â you said softly, not expecting an answer this time. âA lot. Itâs not fair. I know thatâs what your sons think, itâs not fair that it was you and not her. But⊠itâs not fair that we only got⊠so little time with you.â
You sniffled against the oncoming tears, eating another spoonful.
âI wish⊠I wish my mom had met you earlier, I wish you didnât leave us so soon, I wish we got more timeâŠâ You looked down at the tub in front of you, your appetite gone. âAnd I wish I wasnât eating your favorite ice cream by myself.â
You stood back up, taking both spoons with you into the kitchen. Dropping them into the sink to deal with in the morning, you put the ice cream away and shut off the kitchen lights. You left his glasses on the kitchen counter, deciding you would put them back in your motherâs room tomorrow. As you headed up the stairs, you paused at the top step, a memory of Hyukjunâs wake coming back to you. The nice guy who sat with you and listened to you. You really wished you could have somebody to talk to again.
Something in you made you look over your shoulder then, back down at the bottom step. You swore a darker shape was standing there, unclear in the night. Your heart rate spiked.
âHyukjunâŠ?â You whispered, hesitantly going down one more step to try to make out what you were seeing better. The shadow seemed to back up one step at the same time you did that, and another name came to your mind.
âJisung?â
The figure moved closer, a beam of moonlight illuminating half of his shocked face. âYou remember me?â
You shouldâve yelled. You shouldâve shouted at him to get out, called the police, any number of things ahead of what you actually did. Getting even closer, you nodded slowly. âOf course I remember you, Jisung.â
He was still staring at you in disbelief. âAnd you can see me? Again?â
âYes,â you confirmed, standing on the step right above him. âYouâre a ghost.â
It was meant to be a question, but it came out like a statement, like you had known all along, just saying common knowledge.
He swallowed. âYes.â
You peered at the space around and behind him. âIs my stepdad here?â
âNo.â He shook his head. âHe wanted to stay, for your mom. I told him if he stayed, he could get stuck. He decided to go.â
âGo⊠where?â
âI donât know,â he admitted.
âWhat aboutâŠâ You looked up into his dark eyes hopefully. âIs my dad here?â
âItâs just me,â he answered quietly. âIâm sorry.â
âDonât be. Iâm glad heâs not⊠stuck. Either of them.â You breathed out, a mixture of relief and disappointment in your chest. Remembering what he told you at the wake, you asked, âYou used to live here?â
âBefore your stepdad bought it, yeah.â
You recalled the surprise on his face both tonight and at the wake when you addressed him. âYouâre not used to being seen, are you?â
âNo, Iâm not. Youâre the first person whoâs seen me sinceâŠâ He trailed off, biting the inside of his cheek as he seemed to be picking his words. âSince Iâve been like this.â
You nodded slowly, understanding what he meant. âHave you been⊠helping? Picking up my momâs book? And closing the door? And the tupperware lid and the fork?â
Jisung nodded fervently. âI didnât mean to scare you, or make you sad. Iâm sorry. I just wanted to help you.â
âWhat about Hyukjunâs glasses today? Did you knock those off?â
He rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. âIt was an accident⊠They were really close to the edge, I didnât want them to fall off and break. So I tried to move them away from the edge, but there was this thunder, and I dropped them.â
You couldnât help but burst into laughter at the mental image of a ghost getting spooked by thunder, slapping a hand over your mouth as you giggled. Jisung wasnât laughing, but he did have a soft smile on his features as he looked at you.
âSorry, sorry,â you were still chuckling as you tried to compose yourself.
âItâs okayâŠâ He assured you. âIâm sorry for dropping them.â
âYou didnât break them, itâs fine.â You looked at him thoughtfully. He was wearing the same thing he was wearing when you met him at the wake, dark pants, dark shoes, a white button-up, and dark cardigan. You tilted your head curiously. âAre you sure my mom hasnât seen you? She swears the house is haunted, you know.â
âI think she can tell that something is⊠off, sometimes. But no, sheâs never seen me.â
âIâm guessing you have no clue why I can see you right now?â You surmised. âThey donât exactly give you a ghost handbook, do they?â
Jisung shook his head. âNo, I donât know.â
âThank you again, by the way. For being so nice to me at the wake.â
âThey really shouldnât have been talking to you like that.â He frowned. âThey have no clue⊠He loved you and your mom so much. You two are his family, too.â
You chuckled sadly. âSo did you actually hear all of it, then?â
âI was already in there when they went in after you,â he confirmed. âI thought you might⊠I could create a distraction in another room if it got bad.â
âDo you do that a lot? Follow me around?â
His eyes widened as he clearly began to panic, shaking his head fervently. âN-Not like that! Only like, in normal places! I mean, like, thereâs not a lot to do when youâre a ghost stuck in a house, and I think youâre coolâOh god, I meant, uhm, I mostly stay on the first floor, promise!â
You couldnât help but giggle again as he had missed the light teasing in your tone. âMostly?â
Jisung visibly gulped. âI woke you up one time, when your mom was having a really bad time in the middle of the night and your stepdad couldnât calm her down. Iâm sorry, I shouldnât haveââ
âJisung, itâs okay,â you tried your best to be reassuring, even as you let out choked laughter. âI donât expect you to sit in a corner for eternity. Thanks for staying in normal places.â
âThanks for not being creeped outâŠâ He muttered, rubbing the back of his neck.
You let out a yawn, covering your mouth with your hand. After it passed, you gave Jisung a sheepish smile. âIf I go to sleep right now⊠will I still be able to see you in the morning?â
âYou⊠want to?â
âYeah.â You smiled and shrugged. âBetter than just talking to my mother, Nayoung, and myself like I usually do every day.â
The corners of his lips twitched as he went to nod. âIâll try to be here in the morning. You should go to sleep.â
âAlright. Goodnight, Jisung.â
âGoodnight, Y/N.â
Halfway up the stairs, you turned back around to see him still standing at the bottom, watching you. You threw back a teasing, âPromise youâll stay on the first floor?â
âCross my heart.â He made an X over the left side of his chest.
âNot sure how much thatâs worth coming from a ghost,â you grinned. âBut I guess itâs the thought that counts.â
In the morning, you sat with your feet dangling over the edge of your bed for an extra few seconds, very calmly contemplating your sanity. You had been spending the majority of your time in this house, talking to nobody else except your mother and Nayoung, who came five days a week for three hours at a time, your only other regular human interaction coming in the form of emails or the occasional phone calls with your co-workers. Was it really so unlikely that your brain was inventing someone new for you to talk to? How could you even determine if he was real or not? Did that even really matter?
With a sigh, you got to your feet and shuffled into your bathroom. Your mom had always been an early riser, something that hadnât changed now, and you had to take care of your own morning routine before she woke up. While the shift in your schedule initially took some getting used to, the daily alone time that you got to devote to your own self-care was something you treasured, and helped you start your day in a good headspace.
Coming out of your bedroom refreshed and in clean clothes, you meandered down the stairs, listening for any signs of life in the rest of the house. If your mom was up, she would at least be moving around her room, if not elsewhere in the house. And then there was the possibility of seeing the ghost again.
Right as you reached the bottom of the stairs, your momâs bedroom door opened, and she poked her head out. You smiled and walked over to her.
âMorning, Mom.â
âHi, sweetie.â She took your arm, looking around the hallway.
âYou okay?â
âDid he go out?â
You tilted your head, keeping your tone light as you asked, ââŠHe?â
âHyukjun,â she answered. âHe usually leaves a note.â
You bit your lip and nodded. âYeah, he had some errands, said heâll be back soon. You can get on him about forgetting your note when he gets back.â
Her features relaxed, and she rubbed your back. âThanks, Y/N. Donât know what weâd do without you.â
There was a knock on the front door then, and you went to go open it up for Nayoung. As she helped your mom with the rest of her morning, you headed towards the kitchen to start on breakfast. A figure was already at the kitchen table, however, his back to you as he sat in the fourth chair that had always been empty for as long as youâd been in the house. Jisung turned around when he heard your footsteps, giving you a small wave.
âMorning,â you smiled and nodded, hoping you didnât look too put-off. You werenât sure if you wouldâve been more surprised if he was here or not.
âGood morning.â His eyes followed you as you continued into the kitchen. From his seat, he could still see you over the kitchen counter. His hands were folded politely in his lap, and he watched you as you started pulling out ingredients for breakfast.
âSo, what do you do all night?â You questioned. âDo you sleep?â
âSometimes. Sometimes I read, or look at the moon, or think.â
âI think Iâd hate being alone with my thoughts for eternity.â You shook your head, bringing down plates from the cabinet.
âItâs not so bad.â Jisung shrugged. âI wasnât much of a talker before anyway.â
âAn introvert?â
âYes.â He tilted his head curiously. âYou donât normally cook for Nayoung.â
You looked down at the plates in your hand and realized that you had grabbed three instead of the normal two. Nayoung always ate breakfast before coming over, so you just had to make food for you and your mom. Youâd done this before, accidentally making a serving for Hyukjun out of habit, but you knew that wasnât what happened this time.
Putting the extra plate back, you said, âNo, I was⊠I think I was about to make you a plate. Felt like I had a guest over.ïżœïżœïżœ
Surprisingly, this made Jisung crack a smile. âI appreciate it. Your food always looks good.â
âI donât think itâs anything special.â You shrugged, turning on the stove. âI learned to cook from my mother, we just did it to survive. Hyukjun was a much better cook than either of us.â
âTo survive?â
âAfter my dad passedâŠâ You pursed your lips as you tried to think of how to phrase it, pushing around food in the pan. âShe sort of closed up. My mom gave me a good life growing up, donât get me wrong. But itâs hard being a single parent, and she never really made any friends, she spent all her time taking care of me or working. Then when I moved out, she closed up even more. I was kind of afraid sheâd close all the way up, until she met Hyukjun.â
âI seeâŠâ
You heard footsteps coming from down the hall, and halted your conversation. Nayoung and your mom entered the kitchen dining area just a few moments later, paying Jisung no mind, clearly not seeing him at all.
âY/N, were you on the phone?â Your mother asked as Nayoung guided her to her usual seat.
Nayoung took Hyukjunâs old place beside her.
âOh, yeah, work call,â you fibbed. âSomething urgent, couldnât wait until I clocked in, I guess.â
âThatâs inconsiderate.â
You chuckled, then looked to the aide. âCoffee, Nayoung?â
âIf youâre making some, please.â
âWas just about to start a pot.â
Sitting down at the full table with your food and coffee in front of you, your mother to your left, Nayoung across from you, and Jisung to your right, you couldnât help but smile, an odd sense of peace settling in your chest that hadnât been there in quite some time.
That night, after your mother went to sleep, you traipsed into the kitchen, opening up the freezer. Turning to Jisung with the carton of ice cream in your hand, you said, âI donât suppose you could help me with this?â
âUnfortunately not,â he chuckled.
âFigured I would ask,â you sighed, grabbing a spoon. âCome on, Iâm thinking a movie?â
Curled up in the corner of the couch under a blanket, you had just opened the ice cream when you realized you left the remote on the coffee table out of your reach. Jisung was still standing, seeming unsure of where to sit.
âCan you pass me the remote?â You requested, stretching an arm out towards it but ultimately not reaching it.
âOh, sure, sure.â He picked it up with ease just like you would, handing it off to you.
âThanks.â You turned the TV on. He was still standing, so you gestured to the rest of the empty couch. âSit, Jisung.â
âRight,â he mumbled, taking a seat next to you.
âYou havenât seriously been standing there like that this whole time, have you?â
âI⊠sit sometimes, yeah.â
âGood.â You patted his armâor you tried to pat his arm, but instead your hand hit the back of the couch, a cold shiver running up your arm starting at your fingertips. You jerked your hand back in alarm, eyes going wide. âShit! Sorry! Did I just like, smack your lung or something?â
Jisung laughed hard, his nose scrunching up and his hand flying up to cover his mouth as he giggled. âIâve never thought of it like that. I donâtâI donât think so, no.â
âIt didnât like, hurt, did it?â
âNo. Feels a little weird, like⊠Ah, I donât know how to describe it if youâre still corporeal. But it doesnât hurt.â
âOkay good,â you breathed out. Looking down at the remote in your hand, you frowned thoughtfully. âHow come you could grab this just fine, but I just go through you?â
âIt used to happen with objects, too,â he informed you, reaching his hand out towards the coffee table. The ghost moved it down, his hand effortlessly gliding through the table just like yours had gone through him a few moments earlier. âI can control it now. But for some reason, people, I still canât.â
âThat sounds⊠lonely.â
Jisung shrugged, offering you a sort of sad smile. âHey, I just spent a few decades not being seen or heard by anybody either. Iâll take what I can get.â
âAlright, what are we feeling?â You hummed as you pulled up the streaming service. âGhost movie?â
He gave you a skeptical look. âYou hate horror movies. You made Hyukjun turn all the lights in the house on when he put âSawâ on.â
âAw come on, no laugh? Not even a chuckle? Ironic scoff?â You wrinkled your nose at him.
âIâm laughing on the inside.â
âI was very brave for watching it all, though, wouldnât you agree?â You grinned, grabbing a big spoonful of ice cream.
Jisungâs amused smile was apparent that time. âVery. If I had gold stars to give out, youâd get one.â
âOkay, what about âThe Batmanâ? The one with Robert Pattinson, I literally donât care about the other ones.â
âIâm not sure who that is, but sure.â
âJisung, Iâm about to change your afterlife. Possibly for the worse.â
From when you woke up to when you went to sleep, if you were at home, Jisung was usually around. You found that you didnât mind his presence, if anything it was comforting, he made the house feel less empty than it would be with just you and your motherâand occasionally Nayoung. You had to catch yourself from talking to him when your mom or Nayoung were within earshot, or looking too obviously at where he was standing or sitting when they were in the room. Your evenings that you used to spend with Hyukjun were now spent with the ghost, watching shows or movies, showing him your favorite music, or just talking.
This morning, as your mom bathed herself and Nayoung waited for her in her bedroom, just in case, you had some extra time. Which you were glad for, as you knew you were moving slow, feeling more like a zombie than a functioning human being as you prepared breakfast. You yawned, covering your mouth with the back of your hand before gripping the tomato again and continuing your cuts.
âSo whatââ
âY/N!â Jisungâs cry of warning came before you registered your tomato juice-slickened fingers slipping down the food and under the blade.
You looked down to see crimson red welling up and joining the tomatoâs seeds at the same time you felt coldness on your hands. Jisung had tried to grab you, both too late, and in an ill-fated attempt even if he hadnât been, as his hands went right through yours. You belatedly hissed as your sleep-slogged mind finally registered the pain, made extra by the sting of tomato juice in the cuts. Jisung swore under his breath as he grabbed a kitchen towel instead, wrapping it around your fingers and pressing hard as his other hand knocked the knife out of your uninjured fingers that were still lamely holding it. He reached over to turn the sink on, and pulled you over there by the grip he had on the towel. He couldnât move your hand under the water once he took the towel off, though, staring at you pointedly.
âRight,â you mumbled, putting your fingers under the stream of the faucet to rinse the cuts clean of tomato guts. âThanks, Jisung.â
âWhatââ He was cut off by the doorbell ringing.
You hurriedly ripped off a wad of paper towels to press to your cut, calling out to Nayoung, âIâll get it!â
You knew Jisung was following you, not bothering to keep his sighs quiet as you peered through the peephole firstâhabit. A pit formed in your stomach when you recognized the man standing on your doorstep immediately.
Forcing your features into a pleasantly neutral expression, you opened the door just enough to greet your eldest stepbrother. âGood morning, Seohyuk.â
He fixed you with the same wide, dazzling grin that he always had, one that made you think he should be doing real estate instead of whatever his real job wasâinvestment broker or something. He was in a suit, looking like he had stopped by on his way to work. You bit back the urge to look down at your own lounge clothes and hair still damp from your shower.
âY/N! Good morning!â He was still beaming. âLooking beautiful as always.â
âCan I help you?â You asked politely, stepping onto the porch and forcing him to back up a step off the welcome mat, keeping one hand on the door handle.
He then seemed to have noticed your hand. âAre you alright? Did you hurt yourself?â
âNicked myself with a knife in the kitchen just now. Iâm fine,â you shrugged off his concerns. âWhy are you here?â
âOh my god! We should go in and get that washed out!â His hands fluttered over you with feigned worry, trying to usher you back into the house, put you stayed put, firmly shutting the front door behind you.
âI already washed it out,â you informed him flatly. âWhat do you want?â
The expressiveness immediately dropped off his face, and a cool, suave smirk overtook it as he sized you up. âAlright. Big girl can handle herself.â
âWeâre both adults, Seohyuk, Iâd appreciate it if you can act like one and get to your point.â
âFunny, my dad never seemed to think you were one,â he sneered. âYou were the little princess he never got to have.â
âIf this is all you came for, Iâm going back inside,â you sighed, reaching for the handle again.
âI came to inspect the property.â He finally gave you his reason, holding his chin up. âAs is my right, to make sure youâre not letting it go to ruins. So you have to let me in.â
Right, as if the house couldâve fallen to the wayside and become dilapidated in a week. You turned back to him, meeting his gaze head-on. It was easier like this, just one of them. Especially Seohyuk, he didnât have a temper like his younger brothers, nor did his words cut as deep as his momâs, he was just⊠a jerk. You could deal with a jerk.
âAnd, as Iâm sure you saw when you continued reading the papers, you have to give me at least twenty-four hoursâ notice before conducting any inspection of the property. So, I will see you in twenty-four hours.â You grabbed the door handle again. âGoodbye, Seohyuk.â
You didnât wait for his response, rushing inside and slamming the door shut behind you. You locked it up as quick as you could, not wanting to take any chances.
âYouâre not seriously going to let him come in here?!â Jisung blurted out, wide eyes focused on you. Of course he heard everything again.
As you opened your mouth to answer, Nayoung stepped out your momâs room hesitantly, worried eyes focused on you. You turned to her instead, offering her a reassuring smile.
âIs there anything I can do, Y/N?â She asked quietly. You didnât want to know how much she had heard.
âIâll try to arrange it so the inspection is during your time. If sheâs up for it tomorrow, could you take my mom on a walk? I need to be here, and she really shouldnât be.â
The aide nodded quickly. âOf course, yes.â
Back in the kitchen, Jisung pulled the first aid kit down, and you applied your own bandages to the cuts on your fingers. You could feel his eyes boring holes into your hair as you bowed your head to pay extra close attention to your injuries.
âY/Nââ
âWhat did you want me to do, Jisung?â You hissed, not meaning for it to come out as venomous as it did. âTheyâre entitled to inspect the premises, itâs technically also kind of their house. I wouldâve been in bigger shit if I told him no!â
The ghost was quiet, and when you finally looked up, you saw the hurt on his own face. You sighed, throwing away the bloody paper towels and bandage wrappers. Rolling out your shoulders and your neck to relieve the tension that had built up there, you loosely wrapped your arms around yourself.
âIâm sorry,â you said quietly. âIâm not mad at you, none of this is your fault. Iâm just⊠stressed, and I slept like shit last night. I shouldnât have taken it out on you.â
âItâs okay, Y/N,â he reassured you. âI just⊠hate the idea of you and that guy being in this house by yourselves, you know? I donât trust him.â
âOh, we wonât be alone.â
âI know Iâll be here, but thatâs not the same as having someone who could actually do something.â
âI know youâll be here, and thatâs reassuring,â you replied, an amused smile playing at your lips. âBut thatâs not entirely what I meant.â
âMr. Shin, thank you for coming on such short notice,â you greeted the attorney with a polite bow, welcoming him into the house.
Mr. Shin was an older man, around Hyukjunâs age, with salt and pepper hair, who hastily returned the bow. He wore a simple black suit, white dress shirt, and black tie, thick-framed glasses perched on his nose, and he held his black briefcase tightly to his side. He was exactly as you pictured him from speaking to him on the phone yesterdayâwhen you picked up Hyukjunâs papers, youâd only dealt with his secretary.
âOf course, Ms. Y/L/N, itâs my duty,â he replied briskly. âYour stepbrother has not arrived yet, has he?â
âNo, Iâm expecting Seohyuk in a few minutes.â
âGood, good.â
âWould you like some coffee? Or tea?â
âNo, thank you, I couldnât intrude.â He shook his head fervently. âYour mother isnât home, is she?â
âShe stepped out for a walk just before you arrived. She doesnât need to be here, does she?â
âNo, no, not at all.â He seemed relieved at this news, if anything.
The doorbell rang then, and you smiled at the lawyer. âThat should be him.â
Looking out the peephole first, it was in fact Seohyuk. You opened the door wider than yesterday, offering him a polite smile. âGood morning, Seohyuk.â
âAlright, Y/N, itâs been twenty-four hours, let me in.â He skipped pleasantries entirely, a glare already on his features.
âOf course.â You obliged gracefully, opening the door all the way for him.
He obviously hadnât seen anybody else, as he faltered upon stepping inside and spotting Mr. Shin in the entryway. It was as if a magic spell had been cast on him, Seohyuk straightened up, adjusting his own tie and throwing on his charming smile, offering a hand out to him. âKim Seohyuk, nice to meet you.â
Mr. Shin once again bowed formally, ignoring the hand in front of him. âAttorney Shin. Iâm the lawyer in charge of your fatherâs estate, and Iâll be overseeing this inspection.â
âGreat. Yeah, Iâm glad Y/N remembered to call you like we talked about,â Seohyuk lied through his teeth, keeping his voice casual. âSheâs been a little all over the place with taking care of her mom by herself since Dad passed, so I offered to, but she insisted she would do it since she only works part-time now.â
You clenched your jaw to not call him a piss-poor liar to his face. Or punch him in the face. His âsheâs a mess, but we love herâ tone really irked you. Jisung had been lurking in the corner the whole time with his arms crossed over his chest and chose now to mimic choking Seohyukâit took everything in you not to burst out laughing, but it successfully dissolved the anger that had been bubbling in your veins.
Mr. Shin either didnât believe him or didnât care, as he simply nodded and then looked to the both of you. âIf there are no questions, we will begin in the kitchen.â
The inspection was uneventfulâyou passed with flying colors, of courseâand at the end, you got to see both Mr. Shin and Seohyuk out at the front door simultaneously.
âI will be making note of this in the estateâs file, of course,â Mr. Shin said in closing. âSo as to not intrude on Ms. Y/L/N and her mother too much, inspections are limited to once per year, as you know.â
âWhat?!â Seohyukâs jaw dropped. âTh-Thatâs per person, right? Like, if my brothers wanted an inspectionââ
âIâm afraid not, Mr. Kim. One inspection of the property per year. Unless good cause is shown.â
âGood cause? Like what?â
âIf there is some damage externally that would lead you to believe Ms. Y/L/N has caused similar damage internally, or if she posted pictures to her social media of the inside that showed some damage. Something like that.â
You had to cover your mouth to keep from laughing in Seohyukâs face as his jaw gaped open like a dead fish. After composing yourself, you gave the both of them a cheerful wave. âSo I guess Iâll see you two next year.â
âAnd hopefully not any sooner!â Mr. Shin confirmed, bowing deeply once more.
You closed the door with a satisfying click. Turning back around to Jisung, you finally burst into laughter with him. He pumped his fist victoriously. âGone until next year!â
Holding your hand up, you cheered, âWhoo! Come on, ghost five!â
Jisung whooshed his hand through yours, and the chill zipping up your arm only served to make you more excited. Finally, a win in all this.
3:16 a.m.
You glared at your bedside clock like it was doing this to you personally. Rolling onto your other side, you let out a disgruntled sigh. No matter how comfortable you were, how exhausted your bones and your brain were, you couldnât fucking sleep. Sitting up, you threw your covers off of you and padded out of your room.
In the kitchen, you drank a glass of water, but couldnât bring yourself to go back upstairs to your room. You wandered into the living room, plopping into your usual corner of the couch and pulling your knees to your chest. Turning your phone on, you once again glared at the time like it was invented to hurt you in particular.
3:20 a.m.
You could be doing something better right now, reading a book, laying very still with your eyes closed, meditating, anything but scrolling on your phone.
3:49 a.m.
Had you ever gotten a good nightâs sleep in your life? You couldnât remember in that moment. Your eyes stung looking at the screen, they stung when you closed them, but you blinked it away.
4:17 a.m.
âY/N?â Jisung stepped into the living room. âWhy are you still up?â
âMm, Jisung, hey,â you greeted him dully, setting your phone aside on the arm of the couch. âIâm surprised it took you this long to find me.â
âI figured you were just getting a glass of water or something. I didnât want to bother you. But youâve been out here for almost an hour now.â
You sighed, resting your chin on your knees. âCanât sleep.â
âIs something wrong?â
âI slept for a couple hours, but then I woke up and I just... couldnât go back to sleep,â you sighed.
âStaring at that screen isnât going to help you get back to sleep.â He frowned.
That made you chuckle. âAnd how do you know that?â
âYour mom used to get on your stepdad about using screens too close to bedtime,â he confessed. âSomething about the light keeping your brain awake.â
You smiled as you could imagine that perfectly. âYeah, that sounds like her.â
âCan I do anything to help? Do you want like, hot chocolate? OrâŠâ He trailed off as he was clearly wracking his brain for another option.
âYou want to keep me off my phone?â
He nodded.
You stood up, your fingers tapping over the spines on the bookcases before you grabbed one. You offered it out to Jisung. âRead to me.â
Jisung gently took the book from you, then nodded to the couch. âSure. Lay down.â
âIâm not sleeping on the couch,â you snorted, taking your phone back off the arm and heading for the stairs. Tilting your head indicatively, you said, âCome on, you get to go to the second floor.â
His footsteps were quiet behind you, squeaking some of the same steps that you did as he followed you up the stairs. You opened the door to your bedroom, stepping in first and holding it open to gesture him in as he had stopped uncertainly by the threshold. Closing the door behind him, you then sat down on your bed again.
âHere.â You patted the empty side of the bed for him.
Jisung shuffled over, sitting up against the headboard with his long legs stretched out on top of your sheets. With amusement, you noted that he was no longer wearing his dark shoes, only black socks. You laid back down under your covers again, pulling your blankets up to your chin.
He clicked the lamp on his side of the bed on, and seemed to have read the title for the first time then. âPoems?â
âMy mom used to read to me every night, way past the normal age that you stop doing that stuff Iâm pretty sure. And whenever I got nightmares, or couldnât sleep, Iâd climb into her bed. It didnât matter if I woke her up at two in the morning, sheâd grab one of the five or ten books that were always on her nightstand and start reading to me until I fell asleep,â you explained, readjusting your pillow under your head. âThat was one of my favorites. I figured it was worth a shot.â
Jisung opened the book to the first poem and began reading. His voice was soft and steady, deep and soothing. Despite your want to keep watching him and the focused look on his face as he read, his dark eyes following the words on the page, your own eventually fluttered shut against your will.
When you woke up, Jisung was no longer in your room. The book was resting on the nightstand on that side of the bed, and the lamp was off. Upon entering the kitchen, you saw Jisung standing at the humming microwave. He perked up when you walked in, despite the confused look on your face.
âGood morning!â He said brightly, then gestured to the microwave. âIâm making you hot chocolate. I heard the shower.â
âAnd if my mother had walked in and saw the hot chocolate making itself?â You asked dryly, still rubbing sleep out of your eyes. Your shower didnât do much to wake you up this morning.
Jisung visually deflated, looking around guiltily. âOh. RightâŠâ
âItâs sweet, Jisung, thank you,â you added with a smile, watching his shoulders relax. âYouâre very sweet. I just donât want to give my mom a heart attack.â
âOf course.â He was smiling again too. âSorry.â
Sitting halfway down the stairs with Jisung, you stared blankly at the front door. Dinner had been difficult for your mom tonight, and with no Nayoung at that meal, you had to do it all on your own. She was asleep now, and you held your head in your hands. Jisung was quietly sitting beside you, resting his elbows on his knees as his laced and unlaced his fingers in front of him. This was probably one of the best parts about having Jisung around. Despite being practically omnipresent at this point, if you didnât want to talk, he didnât talk. If you wanted to chat, he would talk to you about anything, but if you wanted utter silence, he would let you sit in utter silenceâhe just wouldnât let you do it alone.
You felt nearly suffocated by the house in that moment, but you couldnât leave your mom alone.
âCan you go outside?â You lifted your head to ask Jisung.
âNot very far,â he answered as if you were asking any other piece of trivia about him and his predicament.
âThe porch swing?â
âYes, I can go there.â
âDo you want to? Now? With me?â
He chuckled softly. âWhen have I ever told you no?â
It was a warm night, which you were glad for as you were only in your sleep shorts and a t-shirt as you sat on the wooden porch swing with Jisung. Holding the chain next to your head with one hand, you peered out at the nighttime around you, glad to be out of those walls finally.
âPretty moon,â you commented, looking up at the silver half-moon above you.
âMhm,â Jisung hummed his agreement.
âAnd stars,â you added, taking in the twinkling dots all around the moon.
âMhm.â
âPretty stars,â you clarified.
âMhm.â
Looking at Jisung out of the corner of your eye, you kept the same tone of voice as you said, âPretty garbage can.â
âMhm.â
âJisung?â
âMhm?â
âYouâre not listening to me.â
âHuh?â
âWhat are you thinking about?â
âUhm⊠nothing.â He coughed. âPretty moon.â
âMhm.â You hummed back in the same sing-songy tone that he had. âI wish I could touch you.â
âHuh?â He spluttered out.
âJust feels like a nice moment to rest my head in your lap, donât you think?â You looked over at him, meeting his dark eyes.
He looked down at his legs, then around him in what you would almost call an attempt to avoid your gaze. âWell⊠we could put one of the pillows on the swing where my lap is, and you can rest your head there and pretend itâs me.â
âThat wonât be uncomfortable for you?â
âNo, Iâll be fine,â he promised. âJust make sure itâs not too far over here, I donât want to make you cold.â
After you settled onto your back with your head on a pillow, right on the edge of where Jisungâs thigh started, you could see Jisung and the porch roof directly above you. The corner of his mouth twitched as he looked down at you, and you smiled back up at him.
âCan you push the porch swing?â You requested.
âSure,â he agreed, and you felt the swing gently push off backwards then sail forward.
You rolled your head to the side to be able to look at the moon again.
âCan I askâŠâ You poked your tongue on the inside of your cheek. âHow did you die? If you want to tell me, you donât have to.â
Jisung sighed. âI donât know. I went to sleep one night and when I woke up, I wasnât in my body anymore.â
You felt your eyes widen involuntarily. âSeriously? You werenât sick or anything?â
âI felt fine,â he confirmed. âI didnât even realize until I couldnât grab the handle to open my bedroom door and leave. My hand just went through it. When I turned back around to my bed, I saw myself lying there. I thought I was still dreaming.â
âGod... Iâm sorry, Jisung.â
He shrugged, his fingers messing with the edges of the pillow that your head was on. âIt couldâve been worse. It didnât hurt, I wasnât dreading the end or anything.â
You reached for his face, despite knowing that it wouldnât work, holding your hand up as if you were cupping his cheek, hovering right on the edge of where your skin passed through each other. âDoes that... I always feel cold when I try to touch you. Is this warm? To you?â
âI never notice that Iâm cold until I touch you.â He hesitantly put his hand over yours. âLike when youâve been outside during winter for so long that you donât even feel temperature anymore. And then you step inside again and you can suddenly feel just how cold you are because everything else is so warm.â
âIs it⊠I donât know, nice?â
âItâs⊠a lot,â he admitted. âItâs not bad, but I can never warm up.â
âOh.â You took your hand back, resting it on your stomach.
âItâs late,â he said quietly. âAre you tired?â
âNo, but I should probably head to bed.â You sat up reluctantly.
Only a few minutes after saying your goodnights, you were at the bottom of the stairs again, searching for Jisung. You found him in the living room.
âCan you read to me?â You asked, fidgeting with the sleeves of your shirt.
He chose a book off the shelves and followed you upstairs wordlessly. Back under your covers again, you listened to the sound of his fingers running over the edges of the pages, folding back the cover of the book before he started reading. It wasnât the same book of poems as last time, instead you fondly recognized it as one of your favorite books from when you started reading novels as a kid, about a young girl who went on a grand fantasy adventure with all sorts of magical creatures. In the back of your mind, you thought to yourself that you were a little disappointed that youâd be asleep before the end, when she finally came home to her mother in the real world. That had always been your favorite part.
âDo cameras work on you?â You asked Jisung as you kneeled by one of the flowerbeds at the front of the house. It was early in the morning, and you made sure to keep one headphone in your ear so that any passerby who did happen by on morning walks or jogs would hopefully just think that you were on a phone call.
âDonât know,â he shrugged, sitting on the porch swing. âI think I wouldâve found out if I was in the background of any Kim family photos over the years.â
Curious, you took out your phone, opening up the camera and pointing it at him. The sun hadnât fully risen yet, but in the low light you could see the porch swing just fine, seemingly rocking along on its own on your screen. Taking just one picture, you paused your weeding to look at it from your camera roll. Again, you definitely couldnât see Jisung sitting on the porch swing like you could with your own two eyes, but there was something going on in the picture this time. The air seemed to shimmer and distort in the vague shape of a person sitting in the photo, exactly where he was in real life. You zoomed in on the fuzzy edges that nearly turned into shadow, squinting as you tried to make out whether the distortion was in the image file itself or part of Jisung somehow.
âWell?â Jisung questioned, tilting his head.
âI got... something.â You stood up, walking over to show him. âItâs not what I see when I look at you. I see, like, a person.â
âOh.â His face fell as he looked over the photo of the strange figure.
âI think itâs cool,â you tried to cheer him up. âVery mysterious, you know.â
He gave you a half-hearted smile. âThanks, Y/N.â
âI get why youâre bummed, though. Itâs probably been a while since youâve seen yourself, right? I never see your shadow or your reflection. Can you?â
âNo, I canât.â He shook his head. âItâs⊠I have my dadâs nose, and my momâs smile. I just thought that even if I couldnât see them anymore, itâd be nice to see the parts of them that are in me.â
You blinked back the tears that were pricking at your eyes. âI know what you mean. My dadâs mom was alive when I was younger, and she always said I looked just like him. I used to sit on my bathroom counter in front of the mirror with an old picture of him from when he was a kid for hours to try to see it too.â
âDo you look like him?â He asked quietly.
âDonât you see it? I look just like my mom,â you laughed and shook your head.
Jisung chuckled softly, rubbing the back of his neck. âYeah, I know. I wasnât going to spoil your connection to your dad for you.â
âIt makes me happy to know that my grandmother saw my dad when she looked at me anyway.â You permanently deleted the photo youâd taken of Jisung. âIâm sure you have something else from your parents that you donât need a mirror for, though. Like, for me, when I laugh really, really hard, I start wheezingâitâs honestly an awful soundâand clutch my sides and stomp my left foot. My dad would laugh with his whole body like that too. I didnât even know until my mom pointed it out a few years ago out of the blue. I sneeze like Hyukjun now, too. Donât even know how I picked that up in such a short time. I was dusting the other day and when I sneezed, I realized it sounded just like him.â
âReally?â He laughed, a real one this time.
âYeah,â you smiled fondly at the memory. âIâm sure youâve got lots of pieces of your family in you other than your nose and your eyes, Jisung.â
The ghost held your gaze, his dark eyes that you tried to imagine belonging to some ambiguous father of his that you could never recall, smiling up at you with a smile that matched a memory of his mother you didnât have. Even if you would never know them, you remembered them in that moment for him.
You chewed on your bottom lip as you leafed through the large tome of local genealogies in front of you. At first you were worried that Mr. Shin would have questions for you as to why you wanted information on the deed of the house, primarily who had owned it before your stepdad bought it. But instead, he simply had his paralegal fetch the information from the previous title search theyâd done when drafting the documents for Hyukjun. You took the list of names with you to the local library, where they kept an archive of all sorts of birth, death, and marriage records, including genealogies of local families.
Kim Hyukjun had purchased the home from a husband and wife, the Parks, decades before you were even born. The Parks were the first owners, and despite neither of their names being Jisung, you figured he must be related to them in some way to have lived there before Hyukjun bought it; their son, a nephew, grandson, something.
You finally found a married couple whose names matched, and eagerly read on for their children. They had one child, a son, Park Jisungâdeceased.
âFound you,â you whispered to yourself, tapping the name in the book. Taking a picture of all the relevant information, you shut the book and returned it to its place before taking down another one, death certificates.
Finally landing on Jisungâs, you read with bated breath and a morbid curiosity. It started with all the normal stuffâname, age, date of birth, addressâand you skimmed on, trying to find the thing that you really wanted to know. But as you got to the end, and desperately re-read again from the beginning, more carefully this time, you realized there was no cause of death listed. They must not have requested an autopsy. As your chest deflated, you shook your head at yourself. What would knowing even change now? You took a quick note of the cemetery listed before shutting the book.
The informationâor lack thereofâthat youâd gotten from the library was still on your mind when you returned to the house. Nayoung was sitting at the kitchen table, and looked up from her phone when you came in.
âAh, Y/N, how were your errands?â She asked, clearly noticing your empty hands.
âFine,â you gave a non-committal answer. âWhereâs my mom?â
âSheâs taking a nap in her room. Sheâs been asleep for about fifteen minutes or so.â
âGood.â You glanced at the time on the stove. âYou can head out for the day. Thank you, Nayoung.â
âIâll see you all tomorrow, then.â She stood up and flashed you one more bright smile before showing herself out.
A few moments later, you heard the sound of the front door locking after her, then Jisung entered the room from that direction. He stopped next to you.
âSo whereâd you go today?â He asked curiously. âYou didnât pick anything upâŠâ
You sighed, taking a seat at the kitchen table. âLibrary. They didnât have what I needed.â
âWhat book were you looking for?â
You grimaced at yourself, picking at your nails uncomfortably as you braced yourself to tell the truth. âI wasnât checking out a book. I was⊠I was looking up stuff in the archives, about you.â
Jisungâs eyebrows shot up in surprise. âMe?â
âIâm sorry, I was nosy and shouldnât have done that without talking to you first,â you apologized. âIâm sorry.â
âY/N, youâve got a ghost living in your house,â he reminded you frankly. âNormal personal boundaries arenât really applicable here.â
âI⊠guess thatâs one way to look at it.â
âAnd I mean, all you did was look in the archives, right?â
âYeah.â
âThatâs fine.â Jisung sat in his chair next to yours, leaning forward towards you eagerly. âWhat did you find out?â
You chewed your lip nervously. âNot much. I know your full name is Park Jisung. Your parents didnât have an autopsy done, so we still donât know why you⊠passed. I know where they buried⊠you, though.â
He kept looking at you expectantly, waiting for you to say more. But that was all you had. When he realized that you were done, his face fell, and he let out a breath, sitting back in his chair.
âOh.â He nodded slowly.
âIâm sorry, Jisung.â You instinctively reached for his hand that was resting on the table. You did a double-take when your hand didnât impact with the wooden tabletop under him, though, but with him.
Jisungâs hand was cool to the touch, but solid, yours didnât just slip right through it like usual. You stared down at your hands as you readjusted your grip in disbelief.
Your ghost was similarly bewildered, eyes locked on your hands as he squeezed yours back. âAre youâŠâ
âYeah, I can actually touch you!â You laughed in amazement.
He looked up from your hand to your eyes, lifting his other hand towards your face. âCan IâŠ?â
You nodded, not trusting yourself to speak, or even breathe, in that moment.
Jisungâs fingertips gently caressed your cheek, his eyes filled with wonder as he murmured, âYouâre so warmâŠâ
âAre you⊠you know, cold? Is it like before?â
âNo, itâs-itâs nice,â he said, clasping your hand with both of his now. âThank you. For letting meâŠâ
âOh, sure, yeah,â you cleared your throat awkwardly, looking around the kitchen.
âItâs funny, itâs one of those things you take for granted until you canât do it anymore.â
âWhat?â
âTouch people.â He squeezed your hand softly. âI used to complain when my mom would kiss me, or my friends would give me hugs. Now⊠I canât believe Iâm holding someoneâs hand again.â
You patted his arm, at a loss for words, but hoping that you could give him some kind of comfort in the moment. It sounded like a heartbreakingly lonely existence. You couldnât imagine what you would do if you could never hug your mom again, or even bump into strangers on the trainâsmall things that reminded you that you were real, that you took up space.
You felt your heart truly shatter when Jisung leaned over, pressing his forehead to your linked hands, and you saw his shoulders shake with quiet sobs.
âOh, Jisung,â you whispered, scooting your chair closer to gently stroke his dark hair. âItâs okayâŠâ
Tonight had been rough. This was the third night in a row that you had gone in circles trying to calm your mother down from a frightened state, afraid that every creak of the house settling, gust of the air conditioning rustling a curtain, or wind blowing a tree branch outside was a ghost. Despite being aware that your house was actually inhabited by a ghost, you knew it wasnât Jisung doing any of those things.
You had finally gotten her back to sleep at almost one in the morning, and shut her bedroom door behind you with a sigh. Shuffling into the kitchen, you stopped in the middle of the room, rubbing a hand over your face as you just stared blankly at the countertop. You couldnât even remember what you had come in here for.
âHey,â Jisung called for your attention softly, his quiet footsteps approaching from behind you. âDid you want water? Hot chocolate?â
âUgh, I donât even know,â you groaned, turning around and burying your face in his shoulder. âIâm so fucking tired, Jisung.â
âThen letâs get you to bed,â he suggested, trying to usher you out of the kitchen, but you didnât budge.
Looking up at him, you sniffled, âThis is the third night this has happened⊠I donât know if I can⊠What if I canâtâWhat ifâWhat am IâWhat if I canât do it by myself? What if I canât take care of her like she needs on my own? Sheâs only going to get worse and Iâm⊠Oh God, Iâm tired.â
Tears streamed down your cheeks now as you felt an exhaustion from deep within. You felt it in every fiber of your being, in your bones, deep in your chest. You couldnât remember a time when you didnât feel worn out like this.
Jisungâs eyes widened as his hands frantically fluttered over your arms and shoulders, clearly unsure of where to settle as he went to try to comfort you. âAh, Y/N, oh, no. Oh, God, Iâm so sorry that you feel so tired. Youâre doing so good.â He squeezed your shoulders. âYouâre not alone. I know it can feel like that, but youâve got Nayoung, too. Your stepdad left a fund to pay for your momâs care, right? You can use that to have Nayoung here more if you need her to, canât you? Iâve heard her ask if you want to adjust her scheduleâŠâ
âYeah, she has,â you nodded, the admission only making you cry harder. âI justâI donât want to think about needing more help, about needing Nayoung more, because that really means that sheâs getting worse. But I canâtâShe needs more than me.â
âIâm so sorry, Y/N,â Jisung said, his own eyes shining in the dim light. âI wish I could make everything better for you.â
You gave him a shaky smile, the best you could muster in the moment, patting one of his hands that were still holding you by the shoulders. âI know. Thank you, just having you here to listen to me means a lot.â
He wiped at your tears with his thumbs, his hands shaking slightly as he gently cradled your face. âLet me help you however I canâyou know, without freaking your mom out. You can take care of your mom and Iâll take care of you. Please.â
It was all you could do to nod your head in his hands. He let out a breath of relief.
âCome on, letâs get you back to bed.â He wrapped an arm around your shoulders, guiding you out of the kitchen successfully this time.
At the top of the stairs, you stopped and grabbed his hand, pleading, âDonât leave me, Jisung.â
He chuckled lightly, lacing his fingers with yours. âWhere could I even go? Iâm stuck here.â
âI mean, you always leave after I fall asleep,â you explained. âDonât go this time.â
He nodded, using the index finger of the hand that was holding yours to trace an X over his heart, pulling your hand along with it. âI wonât leave you.â
You fell asleep curled up under your covers, Jisung reading a book of short stories to you, one of his hands resting on your head, fingers gently carding through your hairâa silent reminder of his promise that he would still be there in the morning.
When you woke up, you felt terrible. Not only because of how poorly you had slept lately, but all of your joints and muscles ached, your sinuses felt like they were stuffed up with concrete, your throat was scratchy and sore, and it felt like someone had turned the thermostat up to a million degrees. You winced as you rolled over and threw the covers off of you, already feeling that your sheets and clothes were damp with sweat. Groaning and clutching your head, you involuntarily coughed, having to prop yourself up on your elbow to avoid choking on your own mucus. Gross.
âYouâre sick,â Jisung said from the other side of the bed, his voice sympathetic. Youâd forgotten that he was even there, actually.
Sitting up, you tried to look as normal as possible, shaking your head. âNo, just had something in my throat.â
You winced at the sound of your own voice; it sounded almost as bad as you felt.
âY/N, you sound awful,â he pointed out. âAnd you were tossing and turning all night.â
âIâm fineââ
âY/N.â He was giving you what could only be called a stern pout. âWe just talked about this last night.â
You opened your mouth to argue again, but faltered at the intensity of his gaze. Letting the tension fall from your shoulders, you grabbed your phone off your nightstand. âIâll see if Nayoung or another aide can stay all day.â
Jisung finally smiled at that, standing up and moving to leave the room. âIâll make you breakfast before your mom wakes up.â
You watched him walk to your door, and instead of grabbing the handle to open it, walked right through it. That must be why you were never woken by the sound of the door when he would leave in the middle of the night before.
Once Nayoung arrived, you hauled yourself out of bed and to the doctorâs office. As soon as you got back, you trudged right back upstairs. From the living room, you could hear the sounds of your mother and the aide chatting. In your room, you shrugged off your jacket and had just grabbed the hem of your shirt when Jisung appeared through the door.
âSo what didââ
âAh!â You yelped, yanking your shirt back down and whirling around to stare at him incredulously.
âSorry! Sorry!â Jisung sputtered out, covering his eyes.
âKnock! I know you can!â You yelled, gesturing at the door with exasperation. âWhat is wrong with you?!â
âI didnât thinkâIâm sorry!â He fully backed up and out of your room through a solid wall, still covering his eyes.
A few moments later, you heard soft footsteps accompanied by creaks on the stairs. Nayoungâs voice came next, âY/N? Are you okay?â
âOh, yeah, Nayoung, Iâm fine,â you called back. âJust stubbed my toe getting dressed.â
âAlrightâŠâ She didnât sound like she believed you, but apparently wasnât going to press the issue. âI have another visit to make today, so another aide from the service will be here in the afternoon to take over from me. Her name is Hyesoo.â
âOkay, thanks for letting me know.â
âIâll say goodbye when I leave.â
âThanks.â
You heard her retreat down the stairs, and finished getting changed in peace. Sitting down on your bed, you then heard a soft knock at your bedroom door.
âCome in,â you replied, crossing your arms over your chest.
Jisung stepped through the door, averting his eyes to his feet guiltily. âSorry...â
âForget about it, Jisung,â you sighed, flopping all the way under your covers. âIâm too sick to be mad at you.â
âWhat did the doctor say?â He asked, perching on the edge of your bed.
âItâs just a cold, but he said that all the stress Iâm under isnât helping,â you huffed, fluffing up your pillow under your head. âHe gave me some meds, theyâre in my bag.â
Jisung picked up your tote bag from where youâd dropped it by your nightstand, handing it to you. âIâll get you some water to take them with.â
After heâd left the room, you set two of the bottles on your nightstand, and tucked the third in the drawer. Your ghost came back soon with a glass of water, and you eyed him suspiciously as he gave it to you.
âNobody saw the floating glass of water?â You questioned, sitting up to be able to properly take a sip.
âYour mom and Nayoung were in the backyard,â he confirmed, watching you knock back the pills. âAre you hungry?â
You shook your head, shuffling back under the covers. âSleepy. That doctorâs visit took a lot out of me.â
âTake a nap.â
âWill you wake me up before Nayoung goes?â
âSure. But sleep right now.â
You were faintly aware of Jisungâs cool hand resting on your head as you let yourself get swept away by sleep.
Blinking your eyes open, you were greeted by the inky blackness of your ghostâs eyes first. Jisung was laying on top of the covers on the other half of your bed, cheek resting on his hand as he gazed at you. You rubbed the sleep out of your eyes as you rolled onto your back, suddenly feeling much warmer under the intensity of his eyes.
âThe other aide just arrived, Nayoung is getting ready to leave,â he informed you quietly.
âMm,â you grunted in acknowledgment. âThanks.â
âHow are you feeling?â
âStill feel like shit,â you admitted. âThe doctor did say the meds wouldnât start working until the second or third dose.â
You heard footsteps coming up the stairs, and both you and Jisung went quiet. There was a soft knock at your door.
âY/N?â Nayoung said your name quietly.
âYes, Nayoung?â You replied.
âIâm heading out. Hyesoo and your mom are in the living room. Thereâs an extra serving of lunch, would you like me to bring it up for you?â
You were hungry now, and against your instincts, agreed, âIf you donât mind.â
âOf course not. Iâll warm it up for you, give me a few minutes.â
You stared up at the ceiling bitterly, trying to swallow down the uncomfortable, shameful bile rising up in your body. You donât have to do everything yourself, you can accept peopleâs kindness, you can let people help you. This was exactly what you were getting upset with Hyukjun for doing, putting others before himself at the detriment of his own health. If you didnât take care of yourself, your mom wouldnât have any family left to take care of herâonly Hyukjunâs fund to pay for more aides.
âY/N, Iâm setting it down outside your room,â Nayoungâs voice was back outside your door, startling you. You hadnât even heard the stairs this time. âI made you some tea, too. I hope you feel better. See you tomorrow.â
You were out of your bed and opening the door before Jisung could. Nayoung was still on the top step, and looked over her shoulder, clearly a little startled. You looked down at the plate of food and steaming mug of tea, recognizing it as Hyukjunâs favorite coffee cup. Tears suddenly filled your eyes, but you didnât move to hug her, knowing that sheâd be visiting more elderly and possibly immunocompromised patients today. Instead, you stayed put in the doorway, giving her a small smile.
âThank you, Nayoung.â You couldnât string together any more words than that, but she seemed to get it anyway.
She beamed back at you, her young features holding a gentle understanding and wisdom. âYouâre welcome. Rest well, Y/N.â
After getting ready for sleep that evening, you were sitting with your feet hanging over the side of the bed, taking your next doses of medications. You took the two on the nightstand, then pulled open the drawer to fish out the one that you had put away earlier. The nap youâd taken earlier had thrown off your sleeping pattern, you werenât near tired enough despite the time.
âY/N?â Jisung lightly touched your shoulder. âEverything okay?â
You were staring at the orange pill bottle in your hands, gnawing on your bottom lip. âWhat if I canât see you?â
âWhat?â
âHe gave me stuff to help me sleep.â You looked up from the bottle to your ghost. âBut what if I take it and I canât see you anymore?â
Jisung sat down next to you, shoulder-to-shoulder, and took the bottle from you. He turned it over in his hands as he spoke, âYou could see me before you started having problems sleeping, right?â
You thought about this for a moment, then slowly nodded, relieved.
âAnd even if you took these and couldnât see me anymore for some reasonâI would rather you be well than see me,â he said, pushing the bottle back into your hand and wrapping your fingers around it. He held your eye contact sincerely. âOkay?â
You swallowed the lump in your throat and nodded. âOkayâŠâ
Jisung watched silently as you opened the bottle, shook one out into your palm, closed the bottle back up, and knocked the tablet back with some water. He stood up to move to his usual spot against the headboard, grabbing the book that was sitting on the nightstand. You crawled under the covers, watching him open the book to where he left off.
âJisung?â
âYes?â He turned his gaze from the pages to you.
âWill youââ You sniffled, rubbing at one of your eyes as you yawned. âWill you just lay with me?â
âOh. Sure.â He closed the book back up and set it aside, then laid down on top of the covers facing you. âDo you want the lamp off?â
âMhm⊠pleaseâŠâ
He reached behind him to turn the light off, plunging the room into darkness. You could barely make out the outline of him from a strip of moonlight filtering in from a gap between the curtains. Your eyes were getting heavier, and you desperately fought to keep them open, just in case this was the last time you could see him.
âGoodnight, Y/N,â Jisung murmured. He crossed his finger over his heart. âIâll see you in the morning.â
âGoodnight, Jisung,â you managed to mumble back as your eyes fluttered shut.
When you woke up, you were face-to-face with Jisung, his eyes shut this time, eyelashes resting delicately on his cheeks. You wouldâve almost felt bad for what you were about to do, but you didnât think that ghosts actually needed sleep, so you threw your arms around his neck, burying your face in his chest.
âY/N?!â Jisung squeaked, freezing up under you. âWhatâsââ
âI can see you!â You cheered victoriously, your voice muffled by his shirt.
He let out a sigh of relief, one of his hands tentatively patting your back. âAnd a good morning to you, too.â
It was a couple weeks later, and you were all better. Just in time for winter, too. You let out a huff as you heaved your groceries up the porch steps, your breath coming out as a puff in the cold air. Unlocking the front door, you grinned when it was immediately opened for you, Jisung on the other side. He closed it behind you, taking your hat off you and brushing stray snowflakes from your hair, his brow furrowed in concentration. You mouthed a âthank youâ to him, well aware of the sounds of your mother and her new evening aide, Hyesoo, in the kitchen already. He just smiled and murmured âYouâre welcomeâ back.
âOh, Y/N, back already, dear?â Hyesoo greeted you brightly as you walked into the kitchen. The two of them were playing cards at the kitchen table. Hyesoo was an older woman, closer to your mom and Hyukjun in age, but insisted on you calling her by her first name nevertheless.
âYep, just had one stop to make today!â You informed them, putting your bags onto the kitchen counters. âI think the snow kept everyone away, too.â
âIt was snowing?â Your mom questioned, the disapproval clear in her tone. âYou didnât walk all the way there, did you?â
âI wore all my layers, Mom, promise,â you chuckled, beginning to unpack the groceries. âAnd my snow boots!â
âIâll put those away,â Hyesoo insisted, setting her cards down and standing up. âYou go warm up, weâve got a fire going in the living room.â
âWell, I do have some work to get done before dinner...â You said sheepishly. âThanks, Hyesoo!â
You took the stairs two at a time up to your room to get your laptop, then ran back down to sit in front of the fire with it. Opening up your email first, you were unsurprised when a familiar figure sat down beside you, holding his hands out towards the flames. You hummed to yourself as you answered a couple emails, marking some under your to-do list to deal with later, getting the easier ones out of the way first.
âUgh, not him again,â Jisung complained from next to you, having been reading them over your shoulder. âDecline!â
You elbowed him with an eyeroll, whispering under your breath, âHeâs my boss, I canât decline a meeting with him.â
âHeâs not technically your boss.â
âOkay, supervisor. Still, I canât decline a meeting with him.â
âTheyâre never about anything important.â
âYeah, thatâs every meeting ever.â
âHeâs just doing it to talk to you. Itâs an abuse of power.â
âWeâre working on a project together and heâs actually in the office and Iâm not. He gives me updates. Itâs helpful.â
Jisung made a âhrrmphâ sound, pulling his knees to his chest as he opted to stare into the fire instead. You looked at him out of the corner of your eye, mild amusement on your features.
âWhat? Are you jealous or something?â You teased. âHeâs like, married with three kids. Have I not mentioned that? He just doesnât know how to use computers so he makes everything a video call meeting.â
âOh.â
âJealous, jealous...â You said in a sing-song voice. âI already spend almost 24/7 with you, what more could you want?â
You had meant it to be rhetorical, but you swore Jisungâs mouth opened, about to answer, when Hyesoo walked in.
âHey, Iâm going to start on dinner, unless you had something planned?â She pointed to the kitchen over her shoulder.
âNo, no, go for it,â you waved her off. âI have to take a call anyway. If Iâm late, start without me.â
âWerenât you just on one?â
So you hadnât been as quiet as youâd hoped.
âYeah, different department,â you fibbed quickly, getting to your feet and bringing your laptop with you.
You could hear the soft footfalls of Jisung following you, and at the top of the stairs, you turned around to put a hand on his chest, satisfied that Hyesoo wouldnât be able to see you here. Jisung pouted, looking down at the hand you had on his chest.
âWork call,â you whispered, gently pushing him back. âWait downstairs. Please.â
He nodded, not looking very happy about it, but descended the stairs anyway. Itâs not like there was anything that happened on your work calls that Jisung couldnât hear, but you didnât want to risk a floating object in the background, you looking over at Jisung, or otherwise reacting to him in any way during one of your work calls. It was just easier to concentrate without him there.
The call with your supervisor once again really couldâve been an email, but you didnât mind catching up with him after you got through the two or three minutes of real work conversation that you had. He was a younger guy, and had been one of the people that you were friendlier with when you actually worked in the office full-time. He filled you in on how his three kids were doing, as well as his wife, who you would always chat with at office social events. He asked about how your mom was doing, and you did inform him that she needed aides in two shifts now, to which he reminded you that if you needed to adjust your schedule or workload, that could be discussed. You appreciated that, but if your workload was any lighter, you wouldnât be employed, and you needed money. The fund from Hyukjun paid for your motherâs medical care, but you still needed to cover the rest of your living expenses like food, utility bills, incidentals, and yourself.
âAnd you know those staff dinners that get put on your calendar arenât just to say we invited everyone,â your supervisor added. âYou really are wanted there. We know itâs difficult with your mom, but everyone still talks about you.â
You smiled to yourself. âThanks. Her evening aide is going to be staying the night a few days a week now, so I might be able to make it out one of these days.â
âNo pressure, Y/N. Just wanted to let you know,â he leaned back in his own office chair, and seemed to take a glance at the time for the first time in a while. âSorry, Iâve kept you for a while.â
âItâs fine, Mr. Choi,â you reassured him. âI always enjoy our chats. Give your family my best, will you?â
âOh! Iâm late for dinner!â He suddenly shot up straight in his chair. âThanks, Y/N. Iâll talk to you soon!â
âGoodbye, Mr. Choi,â you chuckled, hanging up the call.
Closing your laptop, you went back downstairs to the kitchen to see your mom sat at the table, reading a book. Jisung was sitting in his chair across from her, and turned around expectantly at the sound of your feet. You poked your head into the kitchen to check on Hyesoo, who looked like she was still cooking.
âHi, Mom,â you announced your presence to your mother, coming around the table to her seat.
She looked up at you with a smile, her eyes clearly focusing on you. You wrapped your arms around her shoulders from behind, resting your cheek on the top of her head. She held onto your arms with one of her hands, squeezing gently.
âWhat are you reading?â You asked, trying to glean any information from the pages that were opened in front of you.
âOh, this was Hyukjunâs favorite book,â she explained, closing it on her finger to let you see the cover. âI was thinking about him todayâŠâ
âI think I read that in a Lit class I took in undergrad,â you commented. âI never knew it was his favorite.â
âFunny enough, it was your fatherâs favorite too.â
âHere I spent my whole life thinking âGoodnight, Moonâ was Dadâs favorite book,â you snickered, referencing the answer he had given you when you were a kid, one of the many childrenâs books you had at the time.
âWell, he didnât really want to tell you about this sort of book when you were that little, I think.â
âCan you let me know when youâre done with that book?â You requested. âI think Iâd like to reread it.â
âOf course.â
Hyesoo came into the dining area then with three plates, and you let your mom go to take your seat. Your mother set her book aside as dinner was set in front of her.
âDid you look at the mail today, Y/N?â Your mom asked.
âI skimmed it, threw out the junk,â you shrugged, taking a bite of your food. âWhy? Did you?â
Your mom mustâve had a very good day today. She usually didnât bother with things like the mail at all.
âDid you see that Seohyukâs getting married?â
âYeah, again,â you snorted. This was marriage number three, if you were up to date on your stepbrother lore. âIâm surprised we even got an invite.â
âY/N.â Your mother said your name sternly.
âSorry,â you mumbled. Clearing your throat, you kept your tone more neutral as you said, âYeah, I saw. Good for them.â
âWhat do you think?â
âAbout what? I just said good for them?â
âGoing.â
You looked at her incredulously. âLike, to the wedding?â
âHeâs family, Y/N.â
âHyukjun was family,â you didnât mean to snap at your mom like you did, your voice filling with vitriol. âTheyâre just three assholes that Hyukjun had the misfortune of being related to. We donât owe them shit.â
âY/N!â Your mother gaped at you.
Hyesoo and Jisung had both been silently watching the two of you go back and forth, and you suddenly became aware of the presence of two others in the room again. You took a deep breath in, looking over at the aide.
âSorry,â you muttered, pushing your chair back from the table. âGood food. Iâm not hungry anymore.â
âY/N, sweetie, can weââ
You ignored your momâs pleas to talk, scraping off your plate into the garbage and putting your dishes in the dishwasher before storming upstairs. Flopping onto your back on your bed, you stared up at your ceiling fan.
When you heard a knock on your door some time later, you rolled your eyes, but called out to Jisung anyway, âCome in!â
Your door handle turned and opened, revealing not Jisung, and not even your mother, but Hyesoo. She paused at the doorway, obviously aware that you hadnât been expecting her.
âMay I come in?â She requested.
You sat up straight on your bed, nodding. âSure.â
Hyesoo came and sat beside you, leaving a polite distance between the two of you. âI donât want to overstep, Y/N⊠But I imagine thereâs some stuff that has happened between you and your stepbrothers that your mom doesnât know about?â
âYeah, lots,â you scoffed. âThey hate us. Theyâve always been rude to me, but ever since Hyukjun left us the house⊠itâs just gotten worse.â
âWhenâs the last time you saw or talked to one of them?â
You breathed out. âUh⊠probably when Seohyuk came to inspect the property a few months ago now. Mom didnât even know it happened, Nayoung took her for a walk.â
âHyukjun was family to you, right? Thatâs what you just said.â
âDoesnât meant his shithead sons have to be my family,â you retorted. âThey said to me, at his wake, that my mom and I werenât his family. Like, how awful do you have to be?â
âHyukjun saw you as his family. His wifeâs daughter,â she said slowly. âDo you think, your mom might see Hyukjunâs sons the same way? Iâm not saying you have to. But consider your momâs feelings for a moment.â
You took a deep inhale, trying to separate your thoughts from your own swirling emotions in that moment. âI⊠I didnât think of that.â
It was then that you saw she had something in her hands, and she held out two small pictures to you. One was the wedding invite, a picture of Seohyuk and his fiancĂ©e smiling on the front. The other was of a young man around Seohyukâs age, the image grainy, as it was clearly older and taken on film. It was undeniable who this was, thoughâHyukjun.
âYour mom was showing me some photo albums earlier, when she saw the wedding invite,â Hyesoo explained. âShe didnât say it, but donât you think he looks so much like his dad?â
You swallowed the anger in your throat, eyes tracing over the two photos, the similar smiles, the way their crowâs feet crinkled, their noses, cheekbones, and jawlines. It was hard not to see Hyukjun in his eldest son now.
âYeah, he does,â you agreed.
âNobody is saying you have to go to the wedding and be best friends with your stepbrothers,â she said. âOr at least, I'm not saying that. But it might be a good idea to think about why your mom would want to go. Those âassholesâ are living, breathing pieces of Hyukjun that are still walking around. Theyâre his sons, and maybe she wants to feel connected to him by connecting with them.â
âHe was such a good guy,â you reached for the picture of Hyukjun, holding it between your fingers. âHow did he raise three absolute fucking jerks?â
âA mystery weâll never be able to solve.â Hyesoo clicked her tongue. âIâm about to help your mom get ready for bed, do you want to talk to her before?â
You sighed and nodded. âYeah, let me do that.â
She handed you the wedding invite as well, standing up from your bed. âSheâs in her room. Let me know when youâre done.â
Steeling your nerves, you knocked lightly on your momâs bedroom door. âMom? Itâs Y/N.â
âCome in, sweetie.â
You opened the door quietly, immediately spotting her sitting on the corner of her bed, as if she had been waiting for you. Sitting down next to her, you took her hand, squeezing it.
âIâm sorry, Mom,â you started. âI shouldâve listened to you instead of being rude and talking to you like that. I was only thinking about my feelings about Seohyuk and them, and not yours. Can you tell me more about why you want to go to the wedding?â
âI-I know you and your stepbrothers havenât gotten along, sweetie,â she prefaced her reasoning. âBut⊠When I think about the fact that Hyukjun wonât get to see this⊠Even if he did see the first two, you know.â
The both of you snickered a little at that, bumping your shoulders together affectionately. You held the two pictures out to her just like Hyesoo had done to you.
âI get what youâre saying, Mom,â you leaned your head against hers, looking at the nearly identical visages of Seohyuk and Hyukjun. âI miss him too. If this will make you feel closer to him, or that youâre honoring him or something like that, then we should go. Iâll support you.â
âThank you, Y/N.â She ran a thumb over the picture of Hyukjun.
âWhat do you want to do for your birthday?â You asked Jisung, searching the table for your next puzzle piece. Your mom had gone to sleep and the two of you were putting together a jigsaw puzzle in your relaxing time before your own bedtime.
Jisung dropped his own puzzle piece that he had been trying to place, staring at you from across the coffee table. âMy what?!â
âYour birthday. Itâs next week.â You finally fished an edge piece out. âWhen I looked up the genealogy stuff, it had your birthday on there.â
âI mean, I figured thatâs how you knew, but I didnât think youâd actuallyâI donât know, Iâm surprised.â
âWhat? Itâs probably been a while since youâve celebrated it, right?â You put your puzzle piece down. âWe donât have to do anything if you donât want to, I just figured it might be nice.â
âNo, I-Iâd like that,â he smiled softly. âJust donât get me a cake with an accurate number of candles in it, please.â
âI think thatâd get more candle wax on it than frosting.â You wrinkled your nose, making him roll his eyes. âAre you telling me I have to plan it? I asked you what you want to do.â
âJust you remembering is enough to make my birthday feel special this year, Y/N.â Jisung reached across the table to grab your hand. âI donât really care what else happens. But Iâll think of something, promise.â
One week later, and Jisungâs birthday lined up with a night that Hyesoo was staying over, so you couldnât use the living room, as she slept on the couch whenever she stayed. So the two of you retreated to your bedroom after dinner. Closing the door behind you, you turned to Jisung with your arms crossed, narrowing your eyes at him.
âYou still havenât told me what you want to do for your birthday,â you reminded him, tapping your foot. âAnd your birthdayâs almost over.â
âI know what I want,â he reassured you. âBut you need to change into your pajamas first, soââ
And with that, he stepped back and through the wall, out of your room. You begrudgingly changed from your casual daywear into your pajamas, then called for him to come back in. Your ghost popped back in immediately, heading towards his side of the bed. You watched him suspiciously as he sat down and grabbed the book on the nightstand. Instead of turning on his lamp as he would usually do, though, he reached over to the lamp on your side of the bed and clicked it on, then offered the book out towards you.
âI want you to read to me tonight,â he requested.
âThatâs it?â You frowned.
âThatâs it,â he confirmed. âYou can sing me âHappy Birthdayâ too, if itâll make you feel better.â
You took the book from him and sat down against the headboard, pulling your covers over your lap. Jisung laid down on top of the blankets, looking up at you, waiting. You sighed and shook your head, fondly brushing some of his hair out of his face.
âHappy Birthday, Jisung,â you said, opening the book to where he had left off when heâd been reading to you.
âI canât believe youâre actually going,â Jisung grumbled, handing you a lid to the plastic container.
âMe neither,â you sighed your agreement, snapping the container shut.
Today was finally the day of Seohyukâs wedding. You, your mom, and Nayoung had just finished up lunch, and the aide would be helping her get ready while you got yourself dressed. Your ghost had made his distaste of the situation plenty clear.
âYou couldnât just send money and a card?â
âMy mom wanted to go, and she doesnât have another daughter to go with her,â you put the leftovers into the fridge. âI wouldâve looked like a bitch sending her with an aide while I stayed home. And felt like a bitch.â
âCanât believe that guy has even found three people who wanted to marry him.â
You laughed heartily at that. âMe neither. Itâs got to be the money. Investment brokers make good money, right?â
âTo fuck if I know,â your ghost snorted.
âAnyway, stay here while I get ready.â
Jisung saluted you, making you chuckle a little as you left the kitchen. The dress code was cocktail, unfortunately for you, meaning that you had to dress in the nicest outfit youâd worn since Hyukjunâs funeral. Most of your day-to-day wear was lounge clothes lately. After putting on your outfit, and doing your hair and makeup as well, you did a final once-over in the mirror, honestly a bit surprised at yourself.
Walking back downstairs, you could tell that Nayoung was still helping your mom in her room, so you looked around instead for Jisung. You saw his dark head of hair sitting on the couch in the living room, and started that way. He turned upon hearing your footsteps, jaw actually dropping when he spotted you.
âYouâre going to catch flies like that,â you teased, pushing his chin back up as you stopped in front of him.
He looked up at you with wide eyes instead. âWoahâŠâ
âGood woah?â
Jisung nodded, standing up and offering you a hand. You gently placed yours atop it, and he lifted it to twirl you around, making a giggle bubble out of you.
âGreat woah,â he confirmed. âSo not fair you look like this for that assholeâs wedding.â
âItâs not for him,â you scoffed. âItâs for me.â
âStill⊠I think the bride is going to get jealous.â
âOh my God.â You rolled your eyes, putting your hand over his mouth insistently, despite you being the only person in the house that could hear him. âYouâre awful, you know that?â
He was obviously grinning behind your hand, eyes crinkling up with a mischievous twinkle. You sighed and dropped your hand from his mouth.
âSo not fair to be that cute when Iâm trying to be mad at you,â you huffed, pinching one of his cheeks.
âOw,â he pouted, covering the reddened skin once youâd let go.
You heard your momâs bedroom door open, and her and Nayoung came out a moment later. You walked over to give her a hug.
âMom, that dress is so pretty,â you complimented her.
âOh, Y/N,â she cupped your cheek. âYou look so beautiful, sweetie.â
âYouâre really beautiful, Y/N,â Nayoung added quietly.
âOh, thank you,â you brushed down your outfit. âThank you for your help, Nayoung. We should be good to go, I think.â
âYes, yes, we need to get going!â Your mom clapped her hands together. âDonât want to be late!â
After putting your mom to bed following the reception, you crept out of her room with your heels in hand. Jisung was at the bottom of the stairs, clearly waiting for you. He held his hands out to take your shoes from you, following you upstairs.
âSo how was the wedding?â He asked, stopping outside your door to let you get changed inside in peace.
âOh, it wasnât bad, actually,â you answered him as you got undressed. âI think everyone was on their best behavior because it was a wedding, you know?â
âThatâs good.â
âSeohyukâs wife is actually really nice,â you informed him, chuckling in disbelief. âI hope he treats her right. And if not, I hope sheâs got a good pre-nup.â
âDid your mom have a good time?â
âOh yeah, she tore up the dance floor.â
âReally?â
âYup.â Finally in your pajamas, you called out, âYou can come in.â
Jisung materialized through the door, and went to put your shoes away for you that he was still holding. âIâm glad you two had a good time.â
âMe too.â You plopped into bed, feeling the exhaustion of the night hitting you all at once. âIâm almost glad that I went.â
âAlmost?â
âIâm still thinking about how I couldâve spent all night in my pajamas instead of getting hit on by Seohyukâs best man.â
âSeriously?â
âMhmâŠâ You yawned and pulled your blankets up over you as Jisung sat down against the headboard and robotically grabbed the book on the nightstand.
âWas âfuck offâ not clear enough for him?â
âDidnât tell him to fuck off,â you shrugged.
âWhat?!â
You winced and rubbed your ear. âLoudâŠâ
âSorry, sorry,â he quieted his voice down again.
âI was bored, and he wasnât a jerk about it or anything,â you explained simply, closing your eyes and pushing your cheek against your pillow. âStill wouldâve rather been here in my pajamas with you, though.â
âOh. OkayâŠâ Jisung took a deep breath, opening the book up to pick up where heâd left off in the story.
You were putting leftovers from dinner away some nights later as Hyesoo dispensed your momâs medications for the upcoming week. You knew your worry was written all over your face. Your mom had been having so many good daysâso many lucid daysâlately, but today was bad. She asked you why you werenât at school multiple times, refused to eat, and had another fit over the house being haunted. You were putting her plate of food away right now, entirely untouched.
âIt was stupid,â you sighed. âFor me to think she was getting better. I know her diagnosisâsheâs only going to get worse.â
âThere will be ups and downs, Y/N,â the aide reminded you gently. âThe important thing is to not blame yourself for any of it.â
You sighed. âYouâre right. Thanks, Hyesoo.â
âYou donât have work to do after this, do you?â
âA little bit. Youâre staying the night, right?â
âYes, I am.â
âGood, good.â
âYou know, Iâve been doing this for a while, dear,â she said kindly, shaking out a few pills. âAnd while I donât know everything, I do know you canât run yourself into the ground trying to take care of them. Or else there will be nothing left of you, and then how will you take care of her?â
âI know, it was hard to focus on work today, thatâs all.â
âI meanâIâve been with you all for some time now, and when was the last time you hung out with your own friends? Or went on a date? Youâre a beautiful young lady, youâre doing the world a disservice staying cooped up in here all the time.â
You laughed and shook your head. âReallyââ
âIâm being serious! Just think about it, dear. I promise, taking some time to keep living your life now wonât be the end of the world. This way, youâll have a support system when you need it.â
You nodded in understanding, putting the leftovers away with robotic movements as your brain continued turning over her words.
Just about a week after that conversation with Hyesoo and you were fixing your hair in the mirror when a gentle knock came at your bedroom door. You called out to the person as you continued messing with your hair. âCome in!â
Jisung phased through your door. âDinnerâs ready, are youââ
He stopped his words as he seemed to take in what you were wearing, tilting his head with a curious frown. âYou got changed?â
âIâm going out for dinner,â you told him, leaning over to focus on putting your earrings in.
âOut? Like, a work thing?â
âNo, Iâve got a date.â
âWhat? With who?â He sputtered, then collected himself a little. âI meanâThis is the first Iâve heard of it. How did you meet them?â
âHis nameâs Dongmin. I met him at the wedding last week.â
âWait, donât tell me heâs the best man you were talking about?â
âHe gave me his number.â You shrugged. âSo?â
âI thought you didnât even like him?â
âWhat does it matter to you?â You crossed your arms.
âWhat do youâ? Of course I care if youâre going on a date with some creepy guy who you donât like.â Jisung ran a hand through his hair.
âI reached out to him, Jisung.â You didnât know why you were getting so defensive, why you felt so on edge at the moment.
He crossed his arms. âWhy did you hide it from me?â
âI didnât hide it from you,â you scoffed. âI donât have to tell you everything.â
âYeah, but this isââ
âWhat? This is what?â
He held his hands up in surrender, looking away from you. âNever mind. Hope you have fun.â
âYeah, that wasnât passive aggressive,â you snorted, grabbing your phone. âYouâre just pissed because Iâm the only person you can talk to all day but I get to actually leave this stupid house and hang out with people other than you.â
âWhat the fuck are you talking about?â Jisung glared back at you, raising his voice to match yours. It was quite possibly the most venomous youâd heard the normally soft-spoken ghost be towards you. âYou leave the house all the time, you always talk to your mom or her aides. I donât give a shit.â
You checked the time on your phone, setting your jaw. âI need to go. I donât have time for you to keep avoiding what youâre actually trying to say.â
âOh, right, Iâm the only one avoiding,â he retorted sarcastically.
âLalala! Not listening! Too busy avoiding!â You said in a purposefully childish, loud, and sing-songy voice, plugging one ear as you threw your door open and slammed it shut behind you.
The lights in the house were dark when you got back. Good, you didnât want to face Hyesoo like this. It was already going to be bad enough risking running into Jisung. Hopefully he was still pissed at you and would stay scarce. Taking a deep breath to dampen your sobs for a few moments, you unlocked the front door and opened it as quietly as you could. No paranormal force on the other side opened it for you this time. Hyesooâs light snores could be heard from the living room, but other than the sleeping aide, the house was eerily silent. You locked up behind you and started up the stairs, but couldnât even bring yourself to make it all the way to your room. You all but collapsed at the top step, letting your tears stream freely again as you cried quietly into your hands, hunched over your knees.
That was a fucking disaster.
âY/N?â
You opened your eyes back up at the soft, familiar voice. Jisung was at the bottom of the stairs, hands in the pockets of his cardigan.
âOh, Jisung, hey.â You didnât bother wiping your tears this time as you greeted him. He hesitantly shifted his weight from one foot to another. You patted the spot next to you for him. âDĂ©jĂ vu, huh?â
He sat down next to you on the top step, deep frown on his features. âWhat happened?â
âUgh, guy was an asshole,â you sniffed. âLike, I thought he was really nice and everything, but as soon as he realized I wasnât going home with him, he turned into a jerk.â
âHe didnâtâŠâ
âNo, he just said a bunch of rude stuff. Called me a bitch, a whore who was just using him for his money or whatever.â
âY/Nââ
âAll that, I didnât really care about,â you admitted, curling your hands into fists and digging your nails into your palms as his words came back to you. âIt was what he said about my mom that really pissed me off. Essentially said I should just put her up in a home and get on with my life. I about threw a punch in the middle of the restaurant.â
Jisung let out a light chuckle at that, but the humor in his features didnât last long. He scooted closer to you, tentatively wrapping an arm around your shoulders. âIâm sorry it didnât go well for you.â
You shrugged, leaning against him and resting your head on his shoulder. âI donât know what I expected, really. He was Seohyukâs friend, of course he was going to be an asshole.â
Jisung wasnât warm, but you found his cool embrace comforting enough, the steady pressure of his arm encircling you, his sturdy body supporting you as he let you lean against him.
âIâm sorry, for getting upset at you earlier,â he apologized quietly. âYou didnât have to tell me where you were going, and I shouldnât have reacted like that.â
âI wasnât being very fair either,â you replied. âIâm sorry too.â
âBut⊠Why did you go out with that guy? I mean, if he had been nice, would you have⊠Would heâŠâ Jisung stopped, apparently frustrated at not knowing how to phrase what he wanted to ask. âWhy not me? I know that sounds so pathetic, but thatâs all I wanted to ask you before.â
You squeezed your eyes shut tighter, biting your bottom lip against the emotions rushing up in your chest at his words. âJisungâŠâ
âIâm not⊠imagining all this, right? I mean, thereâs something here, Y/N. A-A connection.â
âWhat kind of relationship can you even have with a ghost?â You asked sadly.
âMaybe the kind you need now.â He grabbed one of your hands, holding it tightly in your laps between you.
âIâm going to get older, Jisung,â you reminded him calmly, despite each word piercing your chest like a knife. âNot to mentionâI wonât be here forever. Like, in this house. I donât own it. Iâll have to leave once she⊠Iâll have to go. I canât stay here.â
âDoes everything worthwhile in life have to last forever?â He murmured, his voice practically begging now. âTell me you didnât think about me while you were on that dateâŠâ
Your breath hitched in your throat. âI canâtâŠâ
âYou did? Think about me?â
âThe whole time,â you admitted. âEven when it was going okay, I was thinking about you.â
âY/NâŠâ
You looked up from your entwined hands, realizing that you were gripping onto him maybe even harder than he was you. Meeting his dark gaze, you blinked away a few more stray tears.
You finally let out a shaky breath and nodded. âUntil itâs over, you and me.â
A smile overtook his features as he rested his forehead against yours. Readjusting your hand to cover the back of his, you moved his index finger to his chest, tracing an X over his heart. Your ghost watched your movements fondly, echoing, âUntil itâs over, you and me.â
âDo you have anything left here thatâs yours? Hair in a locket under a floorboard or something?â You questioned, looking around your room.
âWhat? No,â Jisung scoffed.
âFigured Iâd ask.â
The two of you were brainstorming. Jisung really wanted to be able to go somewhere out of the house with you, but the best ideas you had of course came from popular ghost media.
âYour stepdad kept a lot of the original house fixtures when he bought it. Maybe one of those,â your ghost suggested.
âIâm not carrying a faucet around in my purse,â you replied frankly. âNot to mention, Iâm not allowed to damage the house while I live here. My stepbrothers could sue me for anything thatâs not exactly how it was when Hyukjun left it.â
âWhat aboutâŠâ Jisung walked through the closed door, and you could hear the squeak of the stairs as he went down them. A few moments later, he went back up them, then came through the door again. He held out something in his closed fist towards you.
You stretched out your hand palm-up, and he opened up his fingers to drop a small piece of metal into it. It had some weight to it, and you turned it over in your hand to get a better look at it. It looked like a knob to a cabinet or drawer, in the shape of an eight-pointed starburst. It wasnât familiar to you at all, it didnât look like he had taken it off any place in the house that you could tell.
You looked up at him with a furrowed brow. âWhereâŠ?â
âItâs one of the original knobs that was on the cabinets in the kitchen,â he explained. âYour stepdadâs first wife wanted them all replaced when she moved in. He put them in a box in the laundry room closet and they havenât been touched since. I doubt your stepbrothers even know about them. She probably thought he got rid of them.â
âThese were on the cabinets when you lived here?â
âYep.â
You pocketed the cabinet knob. âCanât hurt to try.â
Once youâd given your mom and Nayoung your goodbyes, you headed for the front door. Jisung was right behind you, looking positively giddy as he watched you put your shoes on.
Patting your pocket again to reassure yourself that the cabinet knob was in there, you stepped down from the porch and onto the walkway. After nodding politely to a jogger going by, you looked around hesitantly at the empty space on either side of you.
âJisung?â You said quietly.
âIâm here.â He appeared next to you, beaming down at you. âIâm here.â
The two of you had never gone past the porch swing, not even down to the flowerbeds you had continued to tend to. You grabbed his arm to pull him down with you as you squatted in front of the snapdragons that had just come back into bloom. Pride and bittersweet nostalgia welled up in your chest as you looked at the flowers that used to be Hyukjunâs hobby.
âDo you know the secret with these?â You asked Jisung.
âNo?â He replied, tilting his head.
You reached out to gently squeeze the sides of a pink flower, making the dragonâs âmouthâ open and close. âYou can make their mouths open and shut.â
Jisung watched you fondly, then tried it on another bloom. He giggled. âThatâs kind of fun, actually.â
Standing back up, you continued to the end of the houseâs short walkway, stopping on the sidewalk.
âThis is the furthest Iâve been in⊠a while,â he said, eyes shining.
âWeâre still in the lay lines of the propertyâŠâ You kept your hopes guarded. âI donât want to call it a success yet.â
Walking down the sidewalk, you kept your eye on Jisung the further you got from the house, waiting for him to hit some invisible barrier and disappear entirely, or at least flicker or something else to indicate that he was losing his connection to the house. But he looked⊠normal. Fine.
When you were a full three blocks away from the house, Jisung grabbed your hand, lacing his fingers with yours.
âWould you stop looking at me like Iâm going to die again?â He joked.
âSorry, sorry,â you sighed. âI just⊠canât believe it. How do you feel?â
âFine. Great!â He grinned.
You'd never seen Jisung in direct sunlight before, only ever the lights of the house, sunbeams that filtered in through curtains and windows, or moonlight at night. You were surprised at how⊠normal he looked. His skin had a lifelike rosy tint to it in places, his hair shone and reflected a dark brown at some angles, and he didnât have any sort of ghostly pallor to him. The only thing that didnât change were his eyes, still as dark and enrapturing as ever, his pupils melting into his irises.
âSo where are we going?â He asked, swinging your linked hands.
âYouâll see.â You squeezed his hand before letting it go, hearing the sounds of other people around the corner that you were about to turn.
The destination you had in mind wasnât very far, which was good, because your shoulder was getting tired carrying your tote bag. Veering off the sidewalk at a seemingly random place, you walked through a gap between two bushes. Jisung followed you diligently, keeping whatever questions he had to himself. The path underfoot was overgrown with grass and clover, only a path to a keen observer, or those who already knew it was there.
Finally, you ducked around a large tree and emerged at a clearing in front of a small pond. Jisung looked around in wonder as you proudly put your hands on your hips.
âHyukjun and I came out here a couple times, when he and my mom first got together,â you explained. âBonding stuff. Iâm happy I remembered where it was.â
âI thinkâŠâ Jisung slowly turned around in a circle, still taking it all in. âI think my friends and I used to swim here in the summer. And when the pond would freeze in the winter, weâd skateâŠâ
He walked over to the largest tree nearby, fingers tracing over the bark that had endless initials carved in it, until he squatted down by the base. âYeah. I didnât recognize the streets when we were walking over here, butâŠâ
You joined him by the tree, watching as he pointed out a cluster of initials, seven in total, ending on PJS. âThere you all are,â you said quietly. âI didnât even know this was here.â
âTheyâre probably all old men now,â Jisung chuckled, a laugh that you could tell was forced.
You reached for his hand, holding it with both of yours. âItâs okay to be sad that you didnât get to grow old with your best friends, Jisung. I know youâre the one that passed away, but have you mourned them yet? All your friends and family that you didnât get to see grow old?â
âDamn it.â He shook his head. âI didnât want to make you all sad on our first real date.â
âIâm dating a ghost,â you pointed out, running your thumb over the back of his hand. âI think a little doom and gloom comes with the territory.â
âTo answer your question, I havenât thought about it like that,â he sighed. âI always felt bad that I left them, that they had to mourn me. But I never⊠grieved the fact that I lost them too.â
âI donât want to make you sad on our date, either,â you panicked a little at the shadow that had fallen over his features, moving to wrap an arm around his shoulders and hug him. âIâm sorry!â
Jisung laughed a real laugh this time, hugging you back. âItâs okay, Y/N. Itâs better than feeling guilty for something I had no control over.â
âWell, thatâs true.â
âI honestly hadnât even thought about coming here with them in so long⊠Really, itâs nice to remember them all again.â
You let go of him to reach into your tote, pulling out the large picnic blanket youâd brought with you. âHow about instead of the both of us making each other sad, you tell me a bunch of fun stories about your friends while I enjoy the picnic food I packed?â
He pecked your forehead, taking the blanket from your hand. âDeal.â
The pond had become one of yours and Jisungâs favorite spots to go when you could find time between work and your mom. The two of you could get out of the house together without risking you getting some very strange looks in public. Sometimes you brought a picnic, sometimes books or a crossword puzzle or deck of cards or just laid on your blanket and tried to find shapes in the clouds. Every so often, youâd get someone coming by walking their dog, or a gaggle of kids cutting through from one of their backyards to another, but nobody ever paid you much more attention past a âhelloâ or âlovely afternoon, isnât it?â
After submitting a big project at work, you finally had some free time again. As long as your mom was having a good day today. Sheâd been more sensitive to you leaving the house lately on her bad days, and while the aides promised that she always calmed down eventually, you hated causing her so much stress if it was avoidableâerrands were one thing, but a date with your ghost boyfriend that already haunted your residence could take a raincheck.
You looked in the living room first, then the dining area and kitchen, and frowned thoughtfully when you couldnât find your mother and Nayoung. Turning around, you were greeted by Jisung, who pointed to the backyard knowingly.
âTheyâre in the back drinking lemonade,â he informed you. âSheâs having a good day.â
âOh, good. Thanks, Jisung,â you let out a breath of relief, giving him a kiss on the cheek as you passed by on your way back into the living room.
Opening up the door that led onto the back porch, you immediately spotted your mom and Nayoung sitting beside each other on two rocking chairs, a pitcher of lemonade between them as they overlooked the small backyard. Their conversation stopped when they heard the door open, both of them turning to look at you over their sunglasses.
You held your hands up defensively. âWoah, I feel like I just interrupted somethingâŠâ
âYes, you can go, sweetie,â your mom said knowingly.
âWhat?â
âYou finished your work and are checking on me to see if you can go out.â She took a sip of her lemonade, pushing her sunglasses back up and settling back into her chair again. âIâm telling you Iâm fine, and you can go.â
âNayoung?â You turned to the aide. âEverything okayâ?â
âWeâre fine, Y/N!â Nayoung waved you off with a smile. âReally!â
âAlright, alright.â You surrendered, backing up towards the door again. âIâll be back before Hyesoo gets here.â
âWhat day is it, Nayoung?â Your mom asked.
âWednesday.â
âYou know, my memory isnât the best, remind me, when does Hyesoo stay the night?â
âMondays and Wednesdays.â
âHm.â Your mom tsked. âInterestingâŠâ
Nayoung didnât add anything further, but giggled as she took another sip of her lemonade.
âYou two are nuisances,â you scoffed and shook your head, finally heading back inside.
You beelined for your bedroom, finding your ghost already sitting on your bed clearly waiting for you.
âOh yeah, sheâs having a great day,â you snorted in lieu of a greeting, grabbing your usual tote bag. âThat new medication her doctor put her on is doing wonders. I might have to have him cut her off.â
âI think sheâs a lot of fun,â Jisung snickered. âEarlier, when you were on that work call, she was telling Nayoung about your third-grade science fairââ
âAhh!â You cut him off by planting two hands over his mouth, eyes going wide with mortification. âOf all the things she remembers, thatâs what sticks around?! Are you kidding?â
His shoulders were shaking as he let out muffled laughter behind your hands, and he eventually collapsed backwards onto your bed. Your hands dropped from his face as you stayed upright, allowing his laughs to echo freely in your room.
âIf youâre going to keep making fun of me, weâre not going out.â You crossed your arms. âIâll bury your cabinet knobs in the backyard, and your soul will really be stuck here forever.â
âYouâve got to stop being so cute when you pout, and Iâll stop teasing you.â He was still chuckling as he sat up and reached for you with two hands. With an eyeroll, you let him pull you into his lap and wrap his arms around your waist.
âThis isnât fair, I canât find out embarrassing stuff about you unless you tell me,â you huffed, well aware you that you were still pouting.
âI always answer your questions. You just donât ask me that stuff.â
âWell now I will.â
âAnything else you need to pout about?â
You let out a deep breath, your face relaxing a little bit. âNo. Done for now I think.â
He cupped your cheek, leaning in to press his mouth to yours. Like everything else, Jisungâs lips were cool as they meshed with yours. Not uncomfortably so, he wasnât quite an icicle, just unlike any human youâd kissed before. You put your hand over his on your cheek, remembering when even that used to be a far-away impossibility.
You left him with one more kiss on the tip of his nose before asking, âAre you ready to go? Mom and Nayoung gave me the okay.â
He started playing with your fingers, eyes focused downwards as he spoke. âI actually wanted to ask if we could maybe go somewhere else today?â
âSure. Where were you thinking?â
âI donât want to be a bummer or anything butâŠâ
âWhat is it?â
His throat bobbed up and down as he swallowed. âYou wrote down the cemetery, right? When you went to library and looked up the genealogies and stuff about me. You said you wrote down where my parents buried me?â
âYeah, I still have it,â you confirmed, cradling the back of his head as you patiently waited for him to finish asking what you knew he wanted to ask you.
It took him a few inhales and exhales to ask, âCan we go?â
âOf course.â
This was officially the furthest you and Jisung had gone from the house together. Heâd gone with you on errands a couple times beforeâthe post office, library, things within walking distanceâbut you had to get on a train for this. You were a little nervous that he might not be able to go this far, even with the cabinet knob safely tied onto a leather cord and tucked under your shirt. So far, the only limit youâd discovered to his leaving the house was timeâsix hours or so seemed to be the magic number. Youâd found that out on a particularly lazy day, when you were looking up at clouds together and suddenly his lap disappeared from beneath your head. Heâd apparently popped back up in the foyer with the first headache heâd experienced in decades. Since then, youâd been more careful to keep an eye on the time when you brought him with you.
But he sat comfortably through the whole ten-minute train ride at your side as if he were any other passenger. The car that you were in wasnât full, meaning that you had a row to yourself, leaving an empty seat next to you for Jisung. After arriving at your stop, you had another five-minute walk until you finally arrived at the cemetery.
âThis is where my parents are from,â Jisung stated as you passed under the metal archway at the entrance. âThatâs probably why they didnât choose somewhere back in town.â
A winding path went through the center of the land, smaller pathways breaking off into other areas. It was a big cemetery, gently rolling hills dotted with headstones, grave markers, elegantly carved statues, all sorts of tributes to loved ones. The two of you took a meandering pace, eyes scanning all the names for just one. You looked around the property warily, now extra aware of being a public nuisance somewhere so sacred. You especially didnât want to risk disturbing any mourners who might be here. But you couldnât spot anybody except yourself and Jisung, maybe because it was the middle of the day in the middle of the work week.
âThere,â Jisung announced, his gaze locked on something in the distance, while you had been looking at markers much closer. He grabbed your hand and pulled you with him as he rushed across the cemetery.
You stopped in front of a simply shaped granite headstone with a carved border. The name at the top read âPARK JISUNGâ and under it, a birthdate and death date that were familiar to you. It was the epitaph that was new to you, however.
âTHERE WILL ALWAYS BE LOVE
CROSS OUR HEARTSâ
Jisung reached a finger out, tracing over each letter in âLOVE.â He said, âI always wanted to know what they wrote. What they said about me. How they wanted to remember me forever.â
âItâs lovely. They love you a lot,â you replied quietly, resting a hand on his back.
He looked over at you hopefully. âYouâre talking in present tense. Are theyâŠ?â
âThe records I looked at didnât list them as deceased when I was looking for information about you, but I donât know how often itâs updated,â you informed him. âI didnât look any further into them, I was only trying to find out what happened to you.â
âDo you think two more headstones could fit there?â He gestured to the empty space beside his own.
You took the seemingly random question in stride, genuinely contemplating it. âProbably, yeah. Or one big one would fit better, like the couples that get buried together.â
Jisung had a satisfied smile on his face as he nodded. âYeah, one big one. Thatâs it.â
It dawned on you then what he was thinkingâhis parents had most likely reserved the plot next to his for themselves once they passed, and since it was still empty, they were still alive.
âThank you.â He took your hand, lacing your fingers together. âFor coming out here with me. This must be the weirdest date youâve been on.â
âVisiting my boyfriendâs own grave with him?â You tilted your head back and forth contemplatively, a teasing lilt in your tone. âMm, yeah, definitely up there. But Iâm glad that you wanted to do this with me, Jisung. I canât imagine what this feels like for you.â
âIâm ready to go,â he declared, looking up at the blue sky above you. âItâs such a nice day, isnât it?â
âIt is,â you agreed, fondly admiring his little one-eyed squint against the sunlight.
Back home that night, you shook one of your sleeping meds from the bottle, setting it down on your nightstand as you went about getting ready for bed. Your ghost was already sat against the headboard, his legs covered by your blankets, hands folded over the book in his lap as he waited for you. Finally ready, you knocked back the tablet with a gulp of water and climbed under your covers. Jisung rested one hand on your head, thumb stroking over your forehead, but after an abnormally long period of silence, you opened one eye to peer up at him.
He was just gazing down at you tenderly, and you fought the instinct to cover your face, instead reaching over to tap the cover of his closed book.
âArenât you supposed to be doing something?â You complained in jest.
âSorry, I was just thinking,â he responded, still not moving to open the book.
âWhat about?â
âMy epitaph. âThere will always be love.ââ
âItâs nice.â You bit back a yawn.
âYeah. I was thinking about how they probably meant it like their love for me will persist, and proof that I was here and was loved and loved others when I was alive will persist.â
âI like that, Jisung. I think thatâs what they meant.â
âAnd⊠there was no way they couldâve known this when they picked it, but I was thinkingâŠâ Your ghost paused, dark eyes enrapturing you in that moment that you didnât even think about breathing. âAbout how even after I died, you somehow found me.â
You grabbed the book from his lap, reaching behind you to blindly put it on your nightstand. Jisung immediately understood, turning his lamp off and leaving the room in darkness as he slipped the rest of the way under the covers. You buried your face in his neck, tangling your fingers in the hair at the back of his head as you simultaneously pressed yourself into him and pulled him as close as possible. He wrapped his arms around you tightly, digging his fingers into you hard enough to make you feel real, which you were glad for.
âIâm going to bring you with me,â you choked out past the tears rising in your eyes. âWhen itâs time for me to leave. Iâll bring all the cabinet knobs, a chunk of the foundation, whatever will make it work. Fuck my stepbrothersâIâll pay whatever damages. If you wantââ
âOf course I do.â He didnât even let you finish that thought, and you could hear the tremble in his voice. âBut weâve never been able to get around the timeâŠâ
âIâll figure it out for us, Jisung.â You pulled back just enough to show him as you drew an X over the left side of your chest. âCross my heart.â
He took your hand from your heart, kissing the back of your fingers tenderly. âWe knew it was going to be like this. We promised.â
âWe said âuntil itâs over,ââ you argued. âI donât want it to be over yet.â
âItâs not,â he agreed. âBut I donât think itâll be our choice when it is. Not everything worthwhile has to last forever.â
âJisungââ
âWeâll try everything,â he assured you, squeezing your hand. âIâm not giving up on you, Y/N. You and me, until you hand the keys over and close the front door behind you.â
âYouâll be coming with me when I do that, Park Jisung,â you declared, your voice cracking over his name.
He wrapped both arms around you again, tucking you under his chin. âOf course.â
‷ sequel | masterlist
#park jisung x reader#nct dream x reader#nct x reader#bjnet#park jisung imagine#nct dream imagine#nct imagine#nct fluff#jisung x reader#park jisung fluff#jisung fluff#jisung imagine#nct dream fluff#i: jisung#writing#text#mine#f: pur autre vie#sungie#bias tag#*100
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