#THIS IS MORE RANTING OUT MY PERSONAL IDENTITY CRISIS THAN IT IS FIC I AM SORRY ABOUT THAT

[tallseaweed]

Buddy Request: are you a Loki obsessed high fantasy lover?

I would really like to connect with fellow Loki fans who want to rant about/analyze Loki and Thor's psychology, family dynamics, Asgardian society, Jotunheim, magic/seiðr, and the Nine Realms. Ideas/thoughts that aren't canon-compliant with the MCU are more than welcome!

Here are some fics with these types of themes that I have thoroughly enjoyed and been inspired by:

Ásgarðrian Galdr by Valerie_Vancollie

Bargaining by proantagonist ( @proantagonista ) [thank you SO MUCH for the rec @alwida10!]

Frostbite by Maiden_of_Asgard

Once More With Empathy by Kairyn ( @bfaymiller )

A Fairytale Beginning by the_lady_amphitrite ( @the-lady-amphitrite )

Let me set the scene:

For the past year and a half, I've been working on developing a longfic featuring a Thor 2011 Loki and an OC Sigyn. Honestly, I don't think that I'll get around to posting it anytime soon (there's still so much work to be done on it), but it's constantly on my mind. It's sort of a hybrid concept of the MCU, Norse Mythology, my own ideas, OCs, and magic systems. It has an epic scope with multiple arcs and characters from most of the Nine Realms. Do you like characters with wings? I got you covered. An imminent threat to the Nine Realms? Check. An in-depth analysis of Ásgarðr and Jǫtunheimr's history uncovered during Loki's identity crisis? A Jǫtunn OC? A Laufey that never wanted to lose his child? Check, check, and check.

I've found it hard to talk to people about all this because it involves a LOT of worldbuilding. Epic fantasy definitely isn't for everyone and this will not be a "light" read. Some non-fanfic stories that have inspired me along the way include the Roots of Chaos series by Samantha Shannon (The Priory of the Orange Tree and A Day of Fallen Night) and Lord of the Rings by J.R.R. Tolkien. So if you like those types of stories, you might like the ideas I come up with.

If you relate to anything I've said, I also want to mention that I would love to hear about your ideas as well! If you feel trapped inside your own head and feel hesitant to "info-dump" on people, I am the person for you. And hey, maybe we can inspire each other :) Fanfiction is not about gatekeeping, and I have been unabashedly inspired by so many different takes on Loki that I've read along the way.

Sending this out into the Tumblr void, hoping it finds the right people!

[ghostiewriter]

So I finished the new season and I have to rant with someone on this one.

I actually LOVE IT they gave us everything we asked the dynamics were awsome and I LIVEEED for the Jiara this season

BUT the ending let me with a bittersweet taste. I have to say twitter spoiled it for me (I opened it and read something like Lukes not being JJ’s real dad and closed it so fast I autoconviced myself I read bullshit lol) but reaching to that point It made me so mad like all JJ’s storyline trough season 1-3 was him becoming a better person than his Dad and showing the island how the Maybank name would be a good name because of HIM. How he would become a better man DESPITE the trauma he suffered and watching all that dissapear like ???

It would have been more interested to watch JJ learn he is half Kook and have him conflicted to choose what label he wanted to have or overcome and then discover he is both and could have a middle in addition of all the identity crisis he would go trough after learning he is one rich motherfucker because of his mom’s side

Lol sorry i ranted but I needed to talk this with someone who watched the series. We will se where this take us and anyway there will always be Ao3 for our peace of mind💆🏽‍♀️

no, i agree!! i really, really don't like the plot and i am trying to keep an open-mind because obviously we have five more episodes to see. but it just feels like they are ripping away such a big part of his character for something unnecessary??

larissa is the one that is a part of the kook family, the groff dude isn't needed. we could have had a whole thing about jj processing the fact he mourned a woman who wasn't his mother, that he spent his whole life hating kooks just to end up being one himself, struggling with the fact he could either be a maybank or a kook and liking neither option

could have had jj trying to process the fact his dad lied to him about his mother, that he feels like he can't mourn the lady who was his mother because he had no idea who she was and it feels weird to mourn her but he still kinda does

it just feels like there is way more for jj to figure out and yet now they have chucked that away just for jj to be a full kook who grew up being abused by someone he always tried to win the love of, just to find out he isn't his dad?

like i get where the angst with luke will go and the struggles with jj accepting everything he has done for someone who was never his birth father but i am still not a fan of the plot as of now

and i will probably ignore it where i can in fics moving forward unless something in part two changes my mind😭

[poledancingghostson]

The Chanukkah Party: Part 4

Whizzer - Half

For a long time, they were separate. It was Christmas at mom’s and Chanukkah at dad’s. Separate entities. For the first few years of his life, he enjoyed the Chanukkah gifts sitting under the Christmas tree, but his parents split when he was young. Which meant celebrating four nights of Chanukkah. If even that. It meant that he didn’t even have the two holidays in the same house anymore. During the eight nights of Chanukkah, he was Jewish. On December 24th and 25th, he was Christian. And that was it. That was the deal. The rest of the time, he was nothing. An idea perpetuated by the extremes on either side.

It wasn’t until high school hit that he decided that that was bullshit. The push and pull. The all or nothing. It wasn’t until high school that he embraced the “half” before the “Jewish”. When he started wearing Christmas sweaters while he aggressively told every goy he knew, “Happy Chanukkah!” He put up Chanukkah decorations at his mom’s house and Christmas ones at his dad’s. He bought a second menorah so that the four nights could finally turn into eight. And the Christmas lights he strung at his dad’s were white and blue, but they were still Christmas lights. But, though he had made this decision to fuck the all or nothing, there was still a feeling of not fitting in.  Of being perpetually stuck in the middle. Or maybe it’s a perpetual feeling like he’s being ripped in half.

So, he fought Marvin on his ban on evergreen and Santa Claus in the apartment, until, eventually, he gave in. Got worn down, really. Later, having Cordelia and Charlotte around helped. Whenever Marvin got pissed about the Christmas decorations, Whizzer pointed to them. Because if they could coexist and combine it all so well, then why couldn’t he and Marvin? And when Marvin still wouldn’t shut up about it, their apartment could even act as a haven of sorts until Marvin stopped his goddamn bitching.

Because he has never really felt like a Christian. But still he lives for Christmas. And, to him, he’s always been a Jew. So he’s sick of so not being Jewish enough for anyone. Especially Marvin. Marvin, who never stops complaining about how to the letter his parents were about every celebration. Marvin, who half-asses every holiday and who, to Whizzer’s knowledge, has never willingly gone to temple. At least Whizzer puts a bit of effort into it most of the time. But, then again, he has to, doesn’t he? Because if he doesn’t, he’s no longer Jewish at all. At least, not according to the rest of the world.

And that’s the problem, really. With the holidays. Because he feels like he has to tone down the Christmas, or the same thing happens. And it’s easier now, not to feed into that, but the stigma still exists. And it’s worse when the man he’s living with makes it inescapable.

Thankfully, it has gotten better. Not perfect, but better. At least he doesn’t feel like Marvin keeps getting possessed by the ghosts of his aggressively Jewish grandparents anymore. So, that’s a plus. Regardless, he does love Chanukkah, too. And he’s only had a limited experience of celebrating it with Jason, so he’s excited for this party. It’s a chance to have a full family Chanukkah, which he has never really had. It was always one house or another; one parent or the other. This is the first party of the kind with this family. One of the first with any.

Which is why he’s being this picky with Marvin’s outfit choice. He comes out for the fourth time, wearing his usual plaid shirt and too-loose khakis, but he finally dropped that green blazer in exchange for a dark blue one. And he gave up on the ties. Thank God.

“Look, I don’t care if it looks great, just please tell me this one doesn’t embarrass you too much,” Marvin pleads. “We are going to be late.”

“First off, even if we are late, Charlotte and Cordelia are definitely going to be later, so who really cares?” Whizzer looks up from his phone. “But, no, it doesn’t embarrass me too much. Especially because we know that Mendel will be wearing that awful fucking cardigan.” Whizzer will concede that he doesn’t hate the ugly sweater trend. What offends him about the cardigan is its obvious attempt to be stylish. A failing attempt. Ugly sweaters only work when they are aware of their ugliness.

“So, what you’re saying that the bar is just set really low,” Marvin presses.

“Exactly! You’ll look like a damn Vogue model by comparison,” Whizzer laughs, standing up and fixing the collar of Marvin’s jacket before leaning down for a kiss.

Marvin laughs and pushes him away. “We have to get going.”

Whizzer pouts, but follows him towards the door. Since when has a desire to be on time ever overruled the desire for, well, him? He trails behind, almost running into him when Marvin abruptly stops in the doorway. He grabs Whizzer’s collar and drags him down to his height, pressing their lips together for a teasingly short kiss. “Okay, that’s it,” he says, quickly turning and making his way downstairs.

“Asshole,” Whizzer grumbles, groaning dramatically as he follows Marvin towards the car.

Jason is the one who answers the door when they arrive. 10 minutes early, Whizzer thinks grumpily. But at the sight of the boy’s grinning face, Whizzer can’t help but match his wide smile.

“Hey Whizzer! Hey Dad! Happy Chanukkah!” He exclaims.

“Happy Chanukkah!” Whizzer responds.

“Happy Chanukkah, kid!” Marvin says.

Jason grabs Whizzer’s hand and pulls him inside. “I have to show you the jersey my mom bought me for Chanukkah!”

“Okay, coming!” Whizzer laughs, flashing Marvin an apologetic glance. But Marvin is just smiling at them with a starry-eyed gaze. Whizzer turns back to Jason, this kid who is becoming his son. Or something like it. This kid who has made Whizzer understand all the cheesy quotes that middle-aged moms post on Facebook about how wonderful and full their lives are now that they’re parents. This kid, not quite his, who never fails to make him feel whole.

[zigtheeortega]

ride or die playlist

by @pixeljazzy and @zigtheeortega

so after pj made this post, and was encouraged by @choicesarehard to make a playlist for rodaw, i reached out to her and we decided to collab! this is a comprehensive playlist, with explanations for each song. some being the lyrics fit really well, but others are because the vibe fits the characters (in our opinion), not necessarily the song meaning.

putting the song explanations under the cut, since it’ll be long! songs picked by pj have [p] next to it and mine have [j] next to it! hope you enjoy it!

Logan

What You Know Bout Love, Pop Smoke [p]

I had to apply the pressure, ‘cause you my hidden treasure / I think I’m falling in love 

Are we surprised this song is first? C’mon now. Anyway, literally when I heard it for the first time, I was like this is the love song that I could see someone just vibing to in a car with their partner, at a house party in the corner serenading their boo, etc. and then BOOM a vision of Hieron and Logan in a car appeared because I could totally see this as their vibe. Just the thought of Logan rapping this line to Hieron clears my skin.

[p.s. pj wrote a fic based on this song and it’s perfect you should read it]

The Way, Trippie Redd ft. Russ [p]

We’re lost but, babe, we found the way

Because Logan and MC are two teens are a mess lowkey and don’t know what they want from life quite yet but they know they got it together.

Think About Me, dvsn [p]

This song is just radiating Logan and MC parting ways vibes

FIND MY WAY, DaBaby [p]

I feel like as Logan is driving away from MC to god knows where, this is something he’d definitely drive to

Seasons, 6lack ft. Khalid [p]

You’re lucky the greatest thing I can do is marry you / ‘cause if I could, I’d spill my blood

I absolutely adore this slow, chill song, and feel like this is something MC and Logan would be listening to as they unwind in their loft, and with the favorite line, I think it encapsulates how much Logan truly loves and would do anything for MC

Idfc, blackbear [p]

This is giving me Logan vibes after the reveal where MC leaves the shop and he’s just reeling in his emotions and feelings and is just purely in his bag thinking about everything

Hide, Juice WRLD ft. Seezyn [p]

Really think I found my home, shorty made me feel at home

Think I met my soulmate, yeah, I know it

Dusk Till Dawn, ZAYN ft. Sia [p]

But you’ll never be alone / I’ll be with you from dusk till dawn / I’ll be with you from dusk till dawn / Baby, I’m right here

This song hurts me so so much but it’s giving me MC sleeping on Logan’s chest type of vibes while he’s up because he can’t sleep and he’ . Also reminds me of Logan because we all know that infamous line “I was just a rock in space lucky enough to burn up in your atmosphere for a moment,” and I feel like this was an unspoken if you look to the stars you’ll know I’m always with you type beat.

Fool In Love, Rihanna [p]

Mama, I found a man / who loves me and understands / papa, he’s quite a man / he adores me, he’s my biggest fan

Okay so y’all remember how MC was having a mini identity crisis and didn’t know which version of herself she was? And Logan was listening and understanding and processing everything she was ranting about but in the end was just like no matter which one you decide, I like all of you? Yeah, that. Along with him just supporting her whenever he can, even though sometimes it can be overbearing, and him just loving watching her change and grow before his eyes (even though we not gonna mention the part of him that doesn’t love that change, feeling guilty for the person she’s becoming and how it could change her life, and the initial intentions he had although how he feels now is genuine) is literally what I think about with these lines

And don’t get me wrong, I know he’s not perfect in your eyes / but somehow he’s flawless in mine

Papa, did I let you down? / Are you ashamed of how your little girl turned out?

This is the lyric that really gets me because one of the things I loved about Ride or Die was the complicated relationship MC had with her father as it was something that resonated so strongly with me. So this one right here really just encapsulates an aspect of that because when MC’s on her this is who I am now and I know you resent that because he genuinely is so hurt and in shock of how his girl changed before his eyes, beyond the reigns of control that he once had, and he can’t do anything else but process and accept that his little girl isn’t so little anymore, rolling around with the people he tried so hard to keep her away from.

Roll Dice, Roddy Rich [j]

I seen the Reap’ come / Live my life I had to roll dice / Been through strife, my heart is cold as ice

I’m a star, I’m just hidden in the low light

Pretty explanatory, considering Logan’s been through a considerable amount of situations that put him in harm’s way and he’s come out stronger (and considerably more detached) each time.

Story Of Us, Tinashe [j]

Yeah, you’re the prince of my heart / And now there ain’t no way they can keep us apart, keep us apart

This song reminds me of Logan and MC a lot because it’s an optimistic take on their relationship as a whole and the sad ending.

You Know That I Love You, Donnell Jones [j]

You know that I love you / And that ain’t gon’ change / And though you’re not here with me now / My love for you stays the same

I think Logan would listen to R&B, specifically sappy 90’s R&B, and this line reminds me of them perfectly. I mean just listen to it, it’s perfect.

My Favorite Part, Mac Miller & Ariana Grande [j]

Said, you just don’t know how beautiful you are / And baby that’s my favorite part / You walk around so clueless to it all / Like nobody gonna break your heart

Said, the universe couldn’t keep us apart / Why would it even try?

Before things come together, they have to fall apart

Logan says from the get go that he thinks it’s wild that MC is modest and that he’s surprised she hadn’t gotten a lot of attention from guys. The other song lyrics I mentioned remind me a lot of their separation.

Colt

Me And My Girlfriend, Tupac Shakur [j]

Lost in the whirlwind, ninety-six, Bonnie and Clyde / Me and my girlfriend, do one-eighty-five when we ride

All I need in this life of sin, is me and my girlfriend / Down to ride to the bloody end, just me and my girlfriend

So it’s canon that Colt likes West Coast rap – and this song absolutely embodies Colt’s musical interests and his relationship with MC. He wouldn’t admit it out loud but he definitely heard this song and thought of MC.

Something Special, Pop Smoke [p]

I think you’re something special / I’ll take you on a shopping spree

We all know Colt is the king of LA and can definitely buy him and MC anything they want, also the “her father the police” verse quite literally hit the nail on the head

Martin & Gina, Polo G [p]

He was playing games / Got you dancing in the middle of the club

At first, saw this as a Logan and MC song to listen to in the car, but if you’re like me and was romancing Logan but danced in the club with Colt because Logan was being distant, the lyrics just do it for me

Hit ‘Em Up, Tupac Shakur [p]

You couldn’t tell us Colt wouldn’t love this song, we’re not accepting criticism at this time

Pulling Me Back, Chingy ft. Tyrese [j]

Every time I try to leave / Something keeps pulling me back, me back / Telling me I need you in my life / It was meant to be / You were meant for me / So that means we gotta make it work

This song reminds me a lot of Colt’s feelings towards MC, because in the lyrics they’re not mentioning they necessarily love her, they’re just gravitating towards her, realizing they need her. And that’s exactly how Colt works through his feelings.

Loveeeeeee Song, Rihanna ft. Future [j]

Boy lately, you been stingy with your time / Got me wondering, I’m wondering if I’m on your mind / Boy I just wanna be in your possession / You say I’m the one you want so come express it

Yeah, we all know Colt wasn’t straightforward with his feelings but is more prone to expressing himself physically, and I think this song feels like a confession of her own qualms with him but recognizing that she’s alright with him being physical over verbal. Honestly it’s probably not that deep but this song reminds me of Colt x MC so much.

Complicated, Rihanna [j]

Why is everything with you so complicated / Why do you make it hard to love you / Oh I hate it / ‘Cause if you really wanna be alone / I, will throw my hands up ‘Cause baby I tried

God this whole song is Colt and MC all over because he’s so wishy washy and doesn’t express himself properly.

90210, Travis Scott [j]

I think Colt and Logan would bump this and that’s my only reasoning.

Changed Up, Rae Sremmurd [j]

I think Logan and Colt both alike would bump this in their car and maybe relate to the lyrics and the general vibe of it.

Demons and Angels, A Boogie With a Hoodie ft. Juice WRLD [p]

I’m from the West Side, know not to play with us, yeah

I think I’m addicted to this lifestyle, I swear

Colt is quite literally from the West Side, and the ‘I think I’m addicted to this lifestyle’ line is what really stood out to me because Colt wanted nothing than to be a part of his father’s life and legacy, and Kaneko wanted to keep that separate from him because he knew Colt would be all in.

Run This Town, Jay-Z ft. Rihanna [p]

Does this need an explanation because you already know Colt is running the fuck outta LA thank you for tuning in

Mona

Ungodly Hour, Chloe x Halle [j]

You know that I’ve, I heard it all before / You’re hesitant, wish you could give me more

I don’t have the time / To teach you how to love all over again / Now let me ask you this / Are you giving all that you could give?

This is Mona and MC all over. She was clear about being hurt by an ex, and that it was hard for her to open up to MC in the first place, let alone fall for her. So this is like a confessional from MC to Mona.

Te Amo, Rihanna [j]

Then she said Te amo, then she put her hand around my waist / I told her no, she cried Te amo / I told her I’m not gonna run away, but let me go / My soul is awry and without asking why / I said Te amo

The lyrics are sad but this reminds me of Mona and MC, too. There’s a lot of push and pull with Mona, so I think this describes their back and forth so well.

Scared of Love, Juice WRLD [p]

Not scared to love, just scared of love

I initially put this in the Logan section, but I think it’s more fitting for Mona because she put up these walls to avoid putting herself at risk in the process of giving someone her all after the last girl played her, but underneath it all, she’s still capable to love even though she may think she’s undeserving of it from MC or that love in itself is a scam.

ball w/o you, 21 Savage [p] [and j bc our minds are linked]

I’d rather have loyalty than love / ‘Cause love don’t really mean jack / See love is just a feeling / You can love somebody and still stab them in they back

This is giving me Mona and her ex vibes, and just how Mona is a very everyone for themselves type of person so she has no problem balling by herself because that’s what she expects in the end.

Escape, Akon and Wizkid [p]

We can run away / so far away, escape

Oh, my baby, oh, baby / I would never let you go

Okay I know our songs for Mona have been sad lately, but this reminds me of them because Mona said MC would be hard asf to forget and I already know MC is scrambling to find a solution, a possibility, where Mona didn’t have to go to jail and they’d be able to be together, hence ‘escape’.

Escape, Kehlani [p]

Strange for me to wanna love someone / Who’s better by themselves

‘Cause I can’t let you lose yourself, looking for me / And I can’t let you make me your, your everything

I know you see this escape theme I’m on here LMFAOO but I think this is in Mona’s perspective about MC because she’s like MC is a goody two shoes, new to this life, etc. just overall someone with a better future than me and I don’t wanna mess that up for them (hence the I’m dangerous and pushing her away in the beginning and all the warnings).

Acquainted, The Weeknd [p]

Baby, you’re no good / Cause they warned me ‘bout your type girl, I’ve been ducking left and right

To say that we’re in love is dangerous / But girl I’m so glad we’re acquainted

Can’t Remember to Forget You, Shakira ft. Rihanna [p and j]

I can’t remember to forget you / I keep forgetting I should let you go

“You’re gonna be damn hard to forget.”

This is so Mona because it’s both flexible in meaning with her ex and MC. 

MC

Don’t Make It Harder On Me, Chloe x Halle [j]

If you keep acting so sweet / I might just wake up and leave / This boy that I pinky swore / We’d be together for sure / I can’t be thinking of you / When I’m alone with my boo / If you smile at me again / I may do something stupid

Gives me Logan/Colt/Mona love triangle type vibes!

Who Can I Run To, Xscape [j]

Who can I run to, to share this empty space? / Who can I run to, When I need love? / Who can I run to, to fill this empty space with laughter?

After her li’s leave this def gives me those bittersweet vibes like when they all leave L.A., including MC for college.

Aston Martin Music, Rick Ross [j]

Bobbin’ to the music / This is how we do it, all night / Breezin’ down the freeway / Just me and my baby

Would’ve came back for you / I just needed time to do what I had to do / Caught in the life / I can’t let it go / Whether that’s right I won’t ever know

This reminds me of another bittersweet moment like MC is reflecting on her favorite times with her LI, but also acknowledging that her LI can’t be 100% loyal to her because of her lifestyle

Love Without Tragedy / Mother Mary, Rihanna [j]

Brown eyes, tuxedo, fast cars / A James Dean on the low, Dean on the low

Who knew the course of this one drive / Injured us fatally

Let’s live in the moment / As long as we got each other / Die in the moment / I’m prepared to die in the moment / ‘Cause even forever ain’t forever

This entire song fits for all the LI’s (despite the lyrics saying “boy” it works for all of them perfectly. I just picked a couple lyrics to prove it!

Question Existing, Rihanna [j]

Who am I living for?/ Is this my limit?/ Can I endure some more?/ Chances I’m given, question existing

Reminds me of when MC was torn between loyalty to her father and Jason Shaw and MPC at the same time.

Bed of Lies, Nicki Minaj ft. Skylar Grey [p]

This is 100% MC after the reveal.

Change Your Life, Kehlani ft. Jhene Aiko [p and j]

I heard that you a gangsta / Not one to try to save her / Always focus on your paper / Don't got time to wager with your heart

You deserve someone that'll take you to another level

The lyrics to this song fit so well with all of the LI’s. Definitely addresses all of the LI’s reluctance to be with MC and MC’s pursuit of them.

Serial Lover, Kehlani [p and j]

Lord knows / My intentions are pure and my heart full of gold, oh

This song fits MC’s relationship with all of the LI’s, especially when there’s conflict between them. MC is miles more transparent with her feelings than Logan, Colt, and Mona.

She’s So Gone, Naomi Scott [p]

So it looks like the joke’s on you / ‘cause the girl that you thought you knew / She’s so gone

You can look but you won’t see the girl I used to be, ‘cause she / she’s so gone, away / like history

Yes this is from Lemonade Mouth and yes I feel like this embodies MC perfectly!

Misc.

(this includes Ximena, Toby, side characters, the overall vibe of ROD, etc.)

Tints, Anderson .Paak ft. Kendrick Lamar [j]

Ridin’, ridin’, round that open street / I need tints / I need my windows tinted / I can’t be flying down that 110 with a bad bitch in my whip / I need tints

This reminds me a lot of Ximena and Toby because they’re so chill and carefree compared to the rest of the crew, and this song embodies that.

Nascar, Roddy Ricch [p]

Honestly, heard this song and thought I’d be perfect for another side show, or a racing song

We Don’t Luv Em, HoodRich Pablo Juan [p]

Another side show/racing song

DJ Got Us Fallin’ In Love, Usher [p]

I feel like this could’ve played at the club depending on the vibe they were going for, and even if they weren’t, I feel like the club was a very romantically charged event so the DJ had errbody falling in love (MC and whoever, Toby and the guy he went off to dance with, etc.)

break da law, 21 Savage [p]

Me and my dawgs break laws

This is Kaneko and the crew, even though Kaneko would never call them his dawgs, but you get the gist.

Trust Nobody, Lil Wayne ft. Adam Levine [p]

I don’t trust nobody, not my lovers, not my friends / I don’t make no promises ‘cause I know just how they’ll end / I don’t trust nobody, I don’t need nobody else / And as messed up as it sounds, I don’t even trust myself, yeah

This hurts me because the song talks about not being able to trust people in general so I feel like this has been Logan all his life, Mona after she was betrayed, and Colt after the death of his father (minus the don’t trust my lover part because obviously they are whipped for MC and you can’t change my mind).

Undercover, Kehlani [p]

You know they don’t wanna see us together / But it don’t matter, no, ‘cause I got you

Baby, they don’t wanna see me be happy / ‘Cause they ain’t happy, no -- they don’t got you

So this is MC with all the LI’s because everybody (Riya, Darius, her dad, etc.) thinks everyone in the crew is bad news but no matter who MC is with, they’re happy with them regardless of what everyone thinks.

Party Monster, The Weeknd [p]

Okay, this might seem really weird, but I feel like this is a song that would play in the background as the crew would plan or orchestrate a heist you know like the camera panning to different people just really focused on that they’re doing like there’s some camera work going on in my head that I wish I could properly articulate but I hope you guys see the vision.

Shut Up and Drive, Rihanna [p and j]

This is self explanatory.

[randomfandomimagine]

End Of The Year Faves

Rules: It’s time to love yourselves! Choose your 8 (ish) favorite works you created in the past year (fics, art, edits, etc.) and link them below to reflect on the amazing things you brought into the world in 2020. Tag as many writers/artists/etc. as you want (fan or original) so we can spread the love and link each other to awesome work!

I was tagged by @myriadimagines and @musicallisto, thank you, lovelies!

10. Zack Fair (FFVII) gif imagine

I really love this one because it’s like the definition of short and sweet. It’s adorable, warm and I think I got Zack’s characterization pretty well and I often reread it when I need a smile. I just love my boy Zack and how this little thing turned out.

9. Connor (DBH) prompt (”I shouldn’t be in love with you”)

The reason I love this one it’s because I wrote it as one of my favorite things to write: a character study. I tried to express Connor’s struggle as he develops feelings for the reader and how conflicted he would be to have fallen in love with someone, having developed such a human thing as feelings. One of the many reasons why I love Connor is because of his arc in the game, because of how guilty he feels for becoming deviant despite being the very android that hunts them, it just gets to me. I’m just really glad that I could explore that in this prompt and that I managed to show it properly as well as make this more angsty, since my specialty is usually fluff.

8. Yennefer (Witcher) prompt (”I shouldn’t be in love with you” “Are you jealous?” “I’m so scared”)

This is the only Yennefer request I’ve ever gotten (besides one for a dating would include that I had already written), and I had so much fun writing it! Yennefer has appeared in my Witcher writings a lot, but never as a main character and never as a love interest, so that’s why this was so cool! I think she’s a very interesting character, so I really enjoyed getting the chance to explore her personality. I love how it turned out because I think it’s the perfect balance between her being sly and also being loving and showing her feelings for the reader. 

7. Too Nice (John Ambrose McClaren, TATBILB ficlet)

John Ambrose is another character I really like writing for. What can I say? I fell in love with him and it was great to write something for him. This is somewhere between love and almost hate, with a lot of misunderstandings and complex feelings that ultimately lead to a happy fluffy ending. He’s just the sweetest and it was curious to write his reactions to someone who doesn’t always respond well to his kindness, even if because it flusters them.

6. Special (Howl Pendragon, HMC ficlet)

And yet another character I love. It was a bit hard settling on just one version of the character, because I love both the movie and book versions, so I tried to make it a little bit of both... even if this Howl is more suave and charming like in the movie rather than the absolute endearing disaster that book Howl is. Still, I always have fun getting other characters involved with the reader and their love interest, so I loved adding Calcifer and Marko to the mix. As well as the cute interactions Howl and reader have, I love the ending in which he hints at the fact that the reader unlocked something in his heart that he didn’t think was possible.

5. Kind (Jesse Pinkman, Breaking Bad ficlet)

I don’t often get to write about Jesse, so this was awesome! Peekaboo was one of my favorite episodes and it was amazing to get to explore it. While it’s not perfect, I really like how the connection between Jesse and reader turned out, how kind (:D) he is and patient and respectful, and I think I also poured a lot of emotion to the reader with that background.

4. Separated (Zuko, ATLA ficlet)

By this point, it’s obvious that I’m more proud of ficlets (because they’re longer and take more planning and more time and effort) and about characters I love because I think the passion I have for them is more obvious. I wrote this one right when I was watching ATLA because I loved (and still love) Zuko so much. It’s sort of a character study as well (it’s established that I adore writing them) and I’m so glad that I had the idea of getting Iroh involved because he’s awesome. This ficlet just has a lot of pining and repressed emotions that come out in the end and I love it.

3. Weight On His Shoulders (PS4 Peter Parker ficlet)

This one if pretty recent, as I wrote it after beating the game myself. This game is just awesome, and this is my favorite representation of Peter ever. He’s cute, charming, nerdy, loving, kind, a bit awkward and just everything that Peter and Spidey should be (at least for me). I wanted to represent both his personas in this one, and I like the balance I achieved with it as well as the emotions, the pining, the secret identity and in the end the understanding of the reader. The part with Spidey saving reader is great and I’m very happy with how reader is prepared to confront him about it once they learn he’s Spiderman only to change their mind when they see how much it’s weighing on him so they decide to relax with him for a bit.

2. Reunion (Cloud Strife, FFVII ficlet)

I’ve written a lot of things for this fandom this year because I was super inspired after beating the remake with my brother, I loved it (honorable mentions to Heal My Heart and Stars In Your Eyes, two other ficlets that I wrote and I’m very proud of). Cloud has always been one of my favorite characters, and in this one I got to examine a side of him I usually don’t. Not only does this ficlet include Zack Fair (another one of my favorite characters) but it also goes along with an idea I had been thinking about for a long time of a female reader pretending to be a boy to get into SOLDIER and becoming friends with them, but it also shows Cloud as the meeker and shy boy he is in Crisis Core. It was so cool to write about him back then and after once he had joined AVALANCHE. His relationship with the reader was also bittersweet because of their past and it’s just so complex and emotional that I love it, especially their reunion at the end.

1. Soul of a Warrior (Jaskier x Nissa, The Witcher Fanfiction Series). This was a big project, as series always are. I spent several months planning and plotting the story and even more months writing it, and also revising it once it was finished before posting it. I put so much effort, love and time into this series that it absolutely had to be number one. Soul of a Warrior is probably the thing I’m most proud of (that I have written) in 2020. 

As most of you know (my mutuals definitely do, as they have gifted me amazing things with him), Jaskier is probably the character I fangirled the hardest about this year. I wrote many things for him (the ficlet What Would You Do Without Me? deserves another honorable mention because it’s probably my favorite thing I’ve written this year along with the series) and working on each of them has brought me so much serotonin. Jaskier is just such an amazing character, loving and compassionate but cheeky and selfish while at the same time being charming, optimistic, bubbly, extroverted and a huge flirt. So many layers!

But back to the series... Soul of a Warrior had one of the best faceclaims I’ve found, the sweetest friendship between my OC Nissa and Geralt and the slowest of burns romances with Jaskier. Him and Nissa are very similar in some aspects, so much so that they’re both too blind to realize the other’s feelings (idiots to lovers, am I right?) but they care so much about one another. The three of them were strangers, but they become family (found family, another one for the fandom bingo!) and I’m the proudest of how real and organic their relationship feels. Not to mention that their dynamic was super fun to write because Geralt is the only one that knows they’re in love and is so fed up and exasperated with their obliviousness. As well as this, I think I managed to mix action, emotion and depth really well. My secondary OCs feel more alive than others before them, Nissa was pretty complex and coherent and had a true voice of her own, and their part on the story feels important. There are tense moments, cute ones, sad ones, tragic ones... a little bit of everything. I think this one as a lot more angst and whump because I was in a bit of a dark place when I wrote it, but it still has hope and light in it, which I really love. The series also has a lot more violence than what I’m used to, but it was interesting to get out of my comfort zone a bit. 

Overall, not only do I think it’s fun to read, compelling, funny and emotional all at once, I’m just very proud that I managed to write something a little different from what I usually do and feel like I did it well. I put a big part of me in this series and for that reason Soul of a Warrior will always have a special place in my heart 💜

That it’s, sorry if I ranted a bit! I tag anyone who wants to do this!! 

[allondonboy]

Medicine for the Soul (Ch 9)

Chapter 9 - Andante: tutti  (Ch 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)

very much tutti. 

bind responsibly folks. if you need information my tumblr is open or please contact your binding person of choice

thanks for your patience with this little fic, feedback is always welcomed

thanks as always to @jjeanmorreau

J’onn gives them a list of accompanists to work through. It’s long, with maybe twenty names, and Alex lets the list sit on top of their pile of music for a full week before having a closer look. The issue, they realise as their stomach twists, is that they have to be open with whoever they choose. They have to make themselves completely vulnerable with whoever is playing the concerto with them.

And that involves coming out.

They haven’t bothered with declaring their pronouns to the rest of their academic year. It doesn’t affect how well they work in the lab because they never hang around long enough to have a conversation. They’re polite to the staff and the staff are polite back and somehow they’ve avoided any situation in which they hear themselves referred to in the third person. It’s a complete non-issue.

One-on-one, for an hour, maybe hours on end, is a different story.

Their accompanist will be the first time they’ve opened their social circle – even if it’s for the purely perfunctory purpose of entering a competition – since Maggie, and Maggie was definitely a special case of at-least-she’s-heard-the-terminology.

Before they know it, they’ve spiralled, and they crush up the list of names in a tight fist.

Lucy doesn’t really do affection and that’s probably one of the reasons they’re such good friends. There’s no time wasted with feelings when you can blurt what you’re thinking and know the other person will roll with it.

This is the one time Alex hesitates about talking to Lucy. The memory of Lucy coming out to them as bi plays itself on loop. It helps, knowing that Lucy was nervous about that. It makes it okay to be nervous about this.

Because they’ve done the reading and the research, and they have the back of a notebook full of evidence and analysis of their thought process, and they have a conclusion, underlined twice.

Non-binary.

It makes sense.

Lucy feels like the natural person to tell first. Secrets are part of her life, partly because so many people keep secrets from her, and if there’s one person Alex knows they can trust with this next jigsaw piece of their life, it’s her.

They’re still nervous, though.

What if Lucy is one of those people who can comprehend sexuality but not gender identity?

What if gay is okay, bi is fine, but this is a step too far?

What if their pronouns are where she draws the line in this friendship of over a decade?

Logically, there’s nothing in Lucy’s character that would result in the What Ifs becoming real. Alex has listened to enough of Lucy’s rants about how justice should be for all corners of the community to know that the chance of Lucy completely accepting them is greater than 95 %.

It’s then that Lucy pops up next to their shoulder with her bag on her back, waving a spare water bottle under Alex’s nose until they take it.

“Race ya,” is all she says in greeting before she takes off up the path with the grace of a mountain goat. Alex sighs and trudges after her.

It’s pure chance that Alex is walking past the practice room when its occupant stretches. Around their wrist is a woven bracelet in rainbow colours and another in what Alex knows with heart-stopping familiarity is the non-binary flag.

Alex pauses outside the ajar door. The person reveals themselves to be a pianist when they crack their knuckles and launch into a set of whirling scales. Alex stays outside for another half hour until the pianist stands, shovels their music into their bag and abruptly stops when they see Alex watching them.

“I need an accompanist,” says Alex bluntly. “How much do you charge?”

“Depends who it is,” the pianist says. They cross their arms and look Alex up and down. “What’s it for?”

“Concerto competition.” Alex doesn’t budge from the doorway.

The pianist nods. “Instrument?”

“Violin.”

“I’m Vasquez.” They hold out their hand and Alex shakes it firmly, and they can’t stop their eyes flicking down to Vasquez’s wrist.

“Alex. Danvers.”

“My card, Danvers. Now, I have class, if you don’t mind?”

Alex makes a mental note to get something to put their growing collection of business cards in as they take it and sidestep out of the way to let Vasquez past.

They don’t choose their moment. It just sort of happens as they near the top of the hill and pause for a snack.

“I want to start using they/them pronouns,” Alex says abruptly and Lucy keeps her eyes trained carefully on their face.

“Sure,” she says, an air of nonchalance about the word though it’s loaded with an invitation to expand.

“I’m non-binary,” offers Alex by way of explanation and Lucy’s gaze still doesn’t waver.

“That’s really cool, Al.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. I’m glad you figured out whatever was on your mind.”

“Wait – you knew?”

The corner of Lucy’s mouth twitches in a part-smirk, part-smile. “Crinkle.”

Alex repeats it under their breath with a scowl.

“Yeah, like that,” Lucy points. “I knew something was bothering you. I didn’t know it was gender-related.”

“And you’re okay with it?”

Lucy smiles properly now, eyes soft and Alex feels like they’ve just been hugged. “I’m fine with it. You know, we’ve been through some tough shit together. It’ll take more than an identity crisis to get rid of me.”

Alex exhales loudly. “Thanks.”

“Thanks yourself.” Lucy digs into her bag and chucks Alex a bag of trail mix. “Who else knows?”

“Just you.” Alex watches her out of the corner of their eye. A flicker of confusion, then pride, passes over Lucy’s face.

“Did you want to have a play through now?” Vasquez waves them into their apartment and shuts the door, leading them through to a room at the back of the house which, Alex sees now, houses a gleaming upright piano, music stacked in piles all around the room. Alex fidgets with the strap over their shoulder.

“I only really came to give you this.” They hold out the accompaniment. Vasquez takes it and sits on the piano stool, kicking their feet out as they open it up. “Markings are inside.”

“Finally, a musician who knows what they’re doing,” Vasquez mutters and spins to lift up the lid and fold the music out in front of them. They wiggle their fingers and quickly play the first couple of measures with their right hand. Making a pleased noise in the back of their throat, they turn back to Alex who has their eyes closed, and coughs quietly. Alex’s eyes fly open.

“I’ve got a couple of hours free just now. You can put your case there.” Vasquez points to their rather large windowsill. “I’ll get a stand.”

Free of having to make the decision themselves, Alex does as instructed and takes a series of deep breaths as they apply resin to their bow, trying desperately to calm the panic that did its best to overcome them every time they even thought of playing in front of someone new.

“Have you thought about telling Kara? And your parents?”

“Kara yes, Mom and Dad no.” Alex sighs.

“From what I know about Kara, I don’t think she’ll have an issue with it,” says Lucy carefully.

“Is it fair to her for me to tell her, though?”

“Is it fair to you to not?”

“But can I ask her to keep it a secret? I mean, you know what she’s like with secrets, Lucy.”

“She’s okay with important stuff. You want to tell her at some point, right?”

“Yeah.” Alex sighs again and rubs their forehead. “I don’t like keeping things from her. But I don’t want to spook her.”

“Spook her?”

“I don’t want her to think that I’m not me anymore. I am still me.”

“She’ll know that, Alex.”

“How will she? She still has nightmares about the family she’s already lost. I can’t go to her and say ‘hey, the sister you thought you knew, the one who promised to protect you and love you no matter what? Well, she’s not who you thought she was.’”

“You said it yourself. You’re the same person.”

“Yes, but she doesn’t know that.” Frustration leaks into Alex’s voice and they hunch further into themselves. “She doesn’t know that I’ll still protect her and love her. She doesn’t know that I’m not abandoning her.”

“Give Kara some credit,” says Lucy. “She’s not going to think you’re abandoning her.”

“No? Lucy, she thinks I know everything. Not – not school stuff, not smart stuff, but she thinks I know everything about how this world works. So how can I confess that I am just as baffled by it, by my own mind as any other human being?”

“Alex,” breathes Lucy. Alex knows then that she’s seen straight through them. “None of this makes you weak.”

“I know, but…” Alex struggles for a moment. “The one thing I’ve always been able to rely on is my mind, and now I’m doubting everything I’ve ever known about myself and that is fucking scary.”

“But it’s also okay. Kara will get it. Doubting yourself is part of being human.”

“Oh yeah, Kara will get that,” snorts Alex. Lucy sticks her tongue out and some of the tension seeps out of Alex’s shoulders.

“Not my fault you have an alien for a sister. Some of us have flawed humans instead, thank God.”

Alex is silent for a moment. When they speak again, they can’t stop the panic clinging to their words.

“Lucy, how do I tell her I don’t want to be called her sister?”

They don’t hear Lucy’s reply the first time she gives it. They force their eyes to refocus on Lucy whose hand is squeezing their shoulder tight.

“You don’t have to stop being her sister. Gender neutral language is there if you want to use it, but you don’t have to.”

“I don’t think I’ve ever been her sister,” says Alex. They stare at Lucy, who is still watching them with more patience than they’ve ever seen her exhibit. Their heart continues to pound. “Ever since she arrived, we’ve always been the Danvers sisters. People have taken us as a package deal. The Danvers Sisters, who should come with a warning. Y’know. All that stuff. A unit. But I don’t think I’ve ever felt like a sister, exactly. It’s not a wrong description, just not the best fit. So maybe sibling is.”

Being around Vasquez is comfortable. There’s no personal information exchanged at any of their meetings. They interact for the music only, and it’s freeing.

Alex doesn’t bring up gender, and neither does Vasquez, though Alex suspects they have an inkling. Alex runs into Vasquez’s girlfriend as they’re leaving a rehearsal one evening and they shake her hand with a tight smile.

They know for sure that Vasquez knows after their first attempt at playing while binding. It’s only then that Alex realises how long their break from the violin had been. By the time they’d found both the courage and the funds to buy their first binder, their violin had to have been collecting dust for a matter of years, so they hadn’t thought twice about scheduling a two-hour practice with Vasquez on a binding day.

Alex plays for half an hour before their side twinges and their bow stutters on the strings. Vasquez waits patiently for them to stretch and they continue, fingers hammering away, barely making it to the end of the movement before they have to stretch again. They think nothing of it until they enter a fast passage and the number of breaths they’re taking isn’t getting them the amount of air they need and they stop abruptly.

Their heart is pounding and their head starting to swim a little, and Alex takes three stumbling steps to the side to put down their violin and lean against the wall, breathing as deeply as possible and feeling more claustrophobic than they’ve ever felt in their life.

“Bathroom?” they manage to squeeze out, and Vasquez points them to it without a word. They fumble with their shirt buttons and grip the hem of their binder as tightly as they can, peeling it up until they can take an unrestricted breath in. They begin to relax, binder still tangled around their shoulders, arms around their head, and give two hefty coughs.

“You have to learn to breathe with the music.”

Alex frowns as they take in these new instructions. “Why?”

“Think of this piece, any piece, as a series of musical sentences. It makes no sense if you play it without phrasing those sentences, just as it makes no sense to perform a play in a monotonous voice.”

Alex doesn’t look convinced.

Eventually, Alex pulls their binder off. They stay in the bathroom, sat on the closed lid of the toilet, running the material through their fingers as they work out an escape plan.

Vasquez comes to the rescue when they knock, and Alex realises how long they’ve been in there.

“Danvers, all okay?”

“Yeah,” they reply shortly. Embarrassment runs up their neck, red.

“Do you want to borrow a baggy hoodie?”

Alex sits up a bit. “Please.” They listen as footsteps retreat and then return, and they pop the lock on the door to crack it open. Vasquez’s hand dangles a deep blue, almost unfairly soft-looking hoodie where they think Alex’s hands are and Alex takes it, gratefully.

As they pull it on and fold their binder into a small enough wad to stuff in their back pocket, Alex concedes to themselves that Maggie’s point, made as she set up in another bar, about meeting other people in the community being useful and nice might have been a good one.

“Have you ever watched a really, really good orchestra play? Have you noticed that before they start, everyone takes a deep breath, together? String players, percussionists, the conductor, as well as the musicians who need to actually blow into their instruments. That’s because it’s part of the music.”

Alex did the research before they bought the binder. They know the risks, the safety concerns, and as much as they hate it, they take a week’s break from binding while their ribs recover and they get their confidence in their playing back. It’s okay for the days when they don’t mind their chest not being so flat. It’s okay for lab days, where they’ve long made their peace with the fact that an eight-hour lab session followed by another five in the library is several hours’ binding too many – and anyway, their lab coat covers most of what they want to hide. The other days?

They’re hell.

There’s no reason, absolutely no reason at all why they should feel like this.

But they do.

It’s unsettling.

Both in how it just appears and how it feels, the sensation of something being not quite right and yet they can’t put their finger on what.

The dysphoria sets in early one morning before they’ve even properly woken up, and for the first time, Alex seriously contemplates skipping classes to hide under their duvet. Instead, they bundle up in far too many layers for the weather with their favourite beanie and jeans and brave the unsuspecting lecture theatre.

They barely last the day. As soon as their last lecture finishes, they’re rushing back to change into their baggy shorts and two-sizes-too-big hoodie. It’s the wrong size by accident, but when they wear it and slouch a little, it’s almost as good as their binder, and brings with it a sense of relief that nearly makes Alex cry.

Rao.

It’s

dysphoria.

And

and suddenly that makes so much sense because if there is one feeling that characterises discomfort or distress at the mismatch between what Eliza says and what their heart feels then this is it, this is it,

it’s dysphoria.

But having the label for this godawful feeling that they’ve had before doesn’t help and if anything, it makes it worse because there is nothing they can do.

Nothing.

So they go for a run.

They bind.

They contemplate, just for a moment, pulling out their violin but no, no, bad, bad idea.

They bind and they wear their favourite jeans that hide their hips and their favourite beanie that makes their jaw look sharper and their favourite shirt that hugs their shoulders and their hoodie, their faithful hoodie.

Their mind is fogged up and numb. It lingers for days, and they know Lucy has noticed now because Alex is not quite as sharp with their comebacks as they usually are, they’re not as bothered about the mud on the floor or the noise Lucy makes coming in early in the morning.

Maggie notices, and Alex fights the instinct to push her away and hide.

Instead, they try to do their best to explain. Maggie tries to understand. They’re sure they botch the explanation of what’s wrong amid disgusted mumbles about silhouettes and reflections and clothes that don’t hang the way they should.

It’s just one of those things, they suppose, that’s hard to understand if you’ve never experienced it.

Nevertheless, the discomfort sits on the back of their tongue and they curl up on their bed with the latest edition of Nature – the one piece of post Eliza is never late at sending on – and retreat behind the familiar shield of science. It helps, the tiniest bit.

Gone is the unease they’d felt at the idea of grieving in the room they shared with Lucy. In its place is the terror at being anywhere outside the room where they could be seen, and it completely slips their mind that they’re meant to be meeting Maggie at the library.

“Danvers?”

No.

No no no no Maggie can’t see them like this, no. Telling her about it and seeing her react to them as this wreck are two completely different things.

“Al, you in there?”

There’s scraping of keys in the lock and Alex wonders just for a second when they gave Maggie a key (and how they had a key to give her) but then two of their three favourite people are pouring through the door and the concern isn’t just on Lucy’s face but on Maggie’s too.

Concern, and not disgust.

Alex’s initial reaction is to dart off their bed and stand awkwardly by their desk, hand in their hair as though everything is fine.

They ignore the exchanged look that means Maggie and Lucy have seen right through them.

“Hey, guys,” they say. “Good day? How’re you both doing? Everything’s good here.”

“Cut it out, Alex.” They can tell Maggie means business in that take-no-shit way of hers. She folds her arms and shifts her weight onto one leg and eyeballs them, hard. “What can I do? To help you?”

Alex shrugs and folds their own arms.

“What do you usually do?”

“None of that’s working,” Alex grits out. “I – it – usually I can work my way through this but it’s not working, and I don’t know why.”

They slowly slip back onto their bed. Lucy and Maggie settle either side of them. The three sit in silence until Maggie gives a deep sigh, squeezing Alex’s knee.

“I have a friend – from my own support group, you really should give them a try – who’s dating someone non-binary. I can see if they’d be willing to meet you, or we could meet up the four of us, or something. It’s got to be better than this, right?”

She has a point. And even though they can think of very few things worse than having to talk about feelings with a stranger - even a stranger vetted by Maggie – the prospect of someone understanding what this feels like is quite attractive.

***

It turns out to be the thing that helps most in perhaps the most surprising way, because this non-binary acquaintance is actually Vasquez.

They didn’t know Maggie and Vasquez’s girlfriend knew each other.

Vasquez didn’t know that Maggie and Alex knew each other either, apparently.

Maggie goes to introduce Alex to Vasquez and Erin and sees the nods of recognition the three of them share.

Somehow Vasquez knows them well enough to let them take the lead and Alex stumbles through an explanation because gender and music in the same space? Unchartered, unsettling territory. Maggie, thankfully, doesn’t press it, but with the furrow in her brow, Alex can see her marking it as a conversation for later.

Maggie and Erin head for the pool table while Vasquez settles opposite Alex at the booth. Alex can sense it coming – and it’s hard to not bolt, but they trust Maggie and they trust Vasquez to a point and if Maggie thinks this could help them, then, well. It’s worth a try, they reckon. In their head, they nod decisively, and they sit a little taller.

“Alright, Danvers?” says Vasquez casually and Alex nods again, leaning back and taking a sip of lukewarm beer. Vasquez leans closer, clearly not one to beat around the bush. “Erin said that Maggie said you wanted to meet more people like us.”

Alex stiffens despite themselves.

“I’m part of a group who do game nights and trips to the movies, stuff like that. It’s a group where none of us are cis.”

Impossibly, Alex stiffens more.

“You don’t have to make any proper commitment,” continues Vasquez as they study the collection of beer mats on the table, avoiding eye contact that Alex doesn’t want to make. “I can let you know when we’re meeting and you can decide on a case by case basis, if you’d like.”

Alex gives a shrug. They want it to be dismissive, but it ends up more curious.

“And listen. This kind of chat isn’t my forte either, but I know what it’s like to feel alone with…stuff like this, and I want you to know that I’m here for you as much or as little as you want me to be. It doesn’t change anything that happens musically between us. And we never have to speak about this again.”

“Sounds great,” manages Alex. Vasquez’s eyes twinkle at them in a relieved smirk.

“What do you say we go and show them how to really play pool?”

Alex gratefully follows them to where their girlfriends are setting up a new game. Alex leans into Maggie’s side and wraps an arm around her waist, leaning down to whispers a ‘thank you’ in her ear. Maggie squeezes their hand briefly and hip checks them as she hands them her cue.

***

“Why do you not talk about your music?”

It comes out of the blue as they walk hand-in-hand to Maggie’s room. Alex sighs.

“It’s not a criticism,” clarifies Maggie. “You’re intensely private about it, even with me. Even with Lucy.”

“Are you not?”

“How could I? I play in public more than anything else. I guess, I don’t have the luxury of privacy when it comes to music.”

Alex chews their lip. “Kara…and my mom. They’ve been the priority since Dad died, y’know? It never ends well if I express any sort of opinion at home and I think,” they say slowly, “that part of me still feels ashamed that I’m doing something that lets me be angry at the universe for taking Dad.”

Maggie hms beside them. “I’m sorry, Alex.”

“Oh, it’s, eh,” dismisses Alex.

“No.” Maggie spins them so she can look up seriously into Alex’s eyes. “The days of you pushing down your feelings are officially over, Alex.”

Alex doesn’t know what to do with that, so they just kiss her.

[dezzydoesthings]

Posting as a picture because answering asks on Tumblr app is hell. (It actually crashed on me ugh)

Anyway, anon, to answer your question, the reasons I hate Three Kings are many.

First, Yusuke goes from killing a doctor that tortures humans with experiments and struggling with killing Doctor Kamiya to being like "oh you eat humans ok no biggie" to Hokushin? I'm sorry, what? Why? Because you found out you have demon blood? That is not a good enough reason for that kind or personality shift. My respect for Yusuke plummeted after that scene and it never really recovered. Like when he was whining while fighting Yomi I was just like bitch please whatever. I'm not sure what message Togashi was trying to convey, maybe identity crisis, but it just didn't work for me.

Kurama served no purpose whatsoever other than to be guilted and led around and threatened. His episodes are so boring I actually fell asleep while watching them and no I didn't go back and rewatch them. So I'll give fox boy a pass because I honestly don't remember his stuff. But I think his was identity crisis too so maybe that's the theme of Three Kings.

Which brings me to Hiei. Ugh. Other than the flub with the English dub, which I mentioned in the post you asked me about - and now that I think about it, I'm pretty sure I know what Funimation was trying to do. They were trying to put in a clue that Yukina knows who her brother is without blatantly stating it. Not like they could have Yukina nonchalantly say it during a scene at the DT. Like "oh btw I totally know Hiei is my brother - go Yusuke!" And have no one react to it. I mean, this isn't Ghost Stories! (Props to all that know that anime)

So my big problem with Hiei in 3k is...Mukuro. I stated why I don't like that ship at all in a previous post of mine. I can't link on an app so I'll post some text from it,

"Now, I wanted to like this chick. At first she seems pretty cool. They even take shots at each other. Her making a joke at him and he even insulted her, calling her a mummy. So Hiei. Seemed like he could handle her well enough.

And then we find out his past, and when we’re done seething and sobbing, we find out hers.

You know, as she strips naked and mind rapes him.

Lemme explain why I have issue with this. Hiei is not the type of guy to have sympathy for someone out of nowhere when he BARELY KNOWS THEM. This is a total stranger. Are we supposed to believe because she’s had a bad life and is all like “oh Hiei I understand your pain because I had bad shit happen to me too and killed to make it stop too” that Hiei will automatically bond with her?

He’s from Demon World, where violence is normal. The world itself smells like death. He says so to Yusuke.

Sooo, someone else tried to cure their pain with blood…in a world where probably 80% of people are doing just that.

So what? I’m sorry but that would be an in character reaction for Hiei. Like “wow, too bad for you. What does this have to do with me?”

Also Mukuro having a bad past and Hiei having sympathy right away and falling for her is EVERY OOC FANFIC WITH AN OC WE HAVE EVER READ.

And no I don’t expect Hiei to get goo goo eyed every time Mukuro speaks like Kuwabara does with Yukina, but flirting? Like Yusuke and Keiko? Something?

So, I maybe would have been more willing to accept this if we had seen the relationship grow at all. Been given reasons more than “oh they both have bad pasts.”

I’d be more willing, even though I don’t ship it, to believe Hiei and Kurama, because we SEE the bond. We FEEL it.

I feel more emotion in Hieibara fics than Himuku! Why? Because Hiei and Kuwabara actually have chemistry on screen!

We get one episode for their “romance.” One. And in the Japanese version, the romantic “feel” Funimation tried to give it is not there at all.

Yes, there is a connection. No doubt. It just feels forced and fake on the romance part."

So basically I would have liked her maybe if we see them have a connection like with Yusuke and Keiko. Even though Kuwabara and Yukina don't have too many scenes together, you can see they have a connection! Something more than "lemme strip naked while you're incapacitated and can't do anything."

So, by the time I got to the final episode, i was like thank goodness it's over. Do I love Yu Yu Hakusho? YES. The last season just rubs me the wrong way.

And hey, the same thing happened to me with another show, Once Upon a Time. They went down hill pretty much after season 3 but I stayed because I loved them so much. This last season has been complete trash and I'm only sticking around to see how they fix my favorite otp. That's it. And I'm relieved it's ending.

So I can still love a show but hate one season or moments in it. I am glad YYH had a happy ending, probably the best in any anime I've seen.

Anyway, rant over. Thanks for the ask!

[moreracquetball]

what are some of your favorite things to write? in general, but also dialogue vs description and why,, also (though im sure you've been asked this before) which are your fav songs from the marvin trilogy & why? :0

Ahhh, i love love love love this ask a lot!!

My favorite thing to write is probs anaphoras (I think that’s what they’re called?) Here’s an example of what I mean from my Whizzvin College AU:

And Whizzer wants to go back to how things were before—when it was just fun, with mouths pressed against inner thighs and secret glances when out with friends and arguing for the sake of getting the other to take his pants off.

But no, no, no, Whizzer wants to go back to how things were before even that—when they hated each other and it seemed like it would always stay that way, with mouths shooting off snappy retorts and pointed glares when out with friends and arguing just for the sake of hearing themselves talk.

Whizzer wishes that Marvin had never kissed him that day. He wishes that he himself could have been smart and kind enough to not kiss Marvin back.

Anyone who’s ever read one (1) fic of mine knows that I like to use repetition of phrases and sentence/paragraph parallels. I just love how it makes the prose really flow with a rhythm, you know???

I really like description (esp bc then I can use metaphors and imagery and try to make pretty prose that just ends up sounding like purple prose when I read it back), but I think I’m wayyy better and more well-practiced at writing dialogue. My dialogue is never really choppy (maybe a little over-flowy at times but it’s usually p okay) and I feel like my descriptions (of another character, of the setting, of the narrator’s feelings, etc) is a hit or miss a lot of the times, so I’m more comfortable writing dialogue.

My favorite songs from the Marvin trilogy, you ask????

In Trousers:

1. My Chance to Survive the Night

It’s the most pivotal moment of the entire musical and the peak of Marvin’s character arc. After spending the entirety of the story having a sexuality crisis (wondering over whether he liked guys, whether he liked girls and guys, whether he liked girls at all in hindsight), Marvin finally accepts his homosexuality and commits to his true identity and literally says “that’s it for girls.” The music is also very jazzy and slow (compared to the majority of In Trousers songs, which have very fast melodies), and I just really loved Chip Zien’s voice here in particular. Esp at the very end, when he just lets it all go and starts belting it out, my heart skips a beat. It’s my favorite song of In Trousers.

2. A Breakfast Over Sugar

I love the exploration of Marvin and Trina’s relationship pre-divorce. Esp after knowing in hindsight how they react/treat to one another in the later sequels (obviously, I had listened to Falsettos before In Trousers and only knew of Marvin and Trina’s relationship in that sense as bitter exes), this song just brings a lot of context and depth to their relationship and past. It shows Trina’s desperation and willingness to play house and be unhappy, and it shows Marvin’s growth of character as he is through playing this charade and wants something real in his life - even if he has to give up all that he had ever known. The duet is also written very realistically and uniquely (it sounds more like free-flowing dialogue than lyrics to a song, if that makes sense??), and the slow piano just - ughhh, KILLS ME. Wow i ranted a bit sorry about that.

3. Another Sleepless Night

It’s one of the songs that gives pretty equal attention to all four of the characters and not just Marvin, which i really like. It also shows how Marvin has affected each of the women in his life even after years of separation and just how selfish Marvin has really been throughout his life and how much he has taken from these women. I’m also obsessed with the lines “I know this girl. I call her my wife. She is my wife. She is my thorn in the bushes. No happy endings and no fuss. What a girl, what a saint, what a wife ain’t is my wife. So I sleep in a bed too big for one person. I’m big for one person. But this bed is bigger than both of us.”

March of the Falsettos

1. This Had Better Come to a Stop

First of all??? Just the music in general is??? A full-fledged banger??? But even aside from the scarily catchy melody, I love how much it adds to the story by demonstrating like a “typical” day in their lives and how they all bitch and accuse and heart-break over one another. It shows Marvin’s selfishness and meanness, and it shows Trina’s anger and heartbreak, and it shows Whizzer’s frustration and helpless, and it shows Mendel breaking through the barriers of this tight-knit family and wedging himself in there, and it shows Jason in the background of it all, watching with wide, disappointed eyes. It also has the parallels between Whizzer and Trina (the whole “I met this man today…” and trying to make Marvin jealous; as well as the shared look of pain and the soft “this is all very neat”), which I am 100% HERE FOR OMG. And it has the blessed line: “AND STILL THE BASTARD DIVORCED ME.”

2. I Never Wanted To Love You

I could actually talk about this song for approximately 100,000 hours, so I’ll try to keep it short. For one, it’s right after the most climatic scene of the musical (”Marvin Hits Trina”), which makes the song all the more devastating. Mainly, love it because it shows 1) the complex nature of all these characters’ relationships/dynamics with one another (all of which have been driving the whole plot and theme) and 2) It’s the beginning of Marvin’s redemption arc and him confessing his wrong-doings and the root of his insecurities. I love the slow, melancholic melody and the harmonies and the lyrics, and it’s just - really really really powerful.

3. I’m Breaking Down

It’s def my fave solo of the Act 1 AT THE VERY LEAST. It’s just so hilarious and Stephanie J. Block KILLS IT OH MY L O R D and I love Trina a lot and it’s just one of the more light-hearted songs that never fails to hype me up and make me smile

Falsetto Land

1. A Day in Falsettoland

It’s just so pure and happy and I love the little piano bit. Mendel is esp hilarious in the first part (and it’s the closest that he’s ever come to a solo soooo i love it lots) and Trina is i c o n i c and the lesbians are sooo cute (Tracie KILLS IT ESP - OHHHHHHH HER “DO YOU KNOOOWWWW HOW GREAT MY LIFE IS?”) and it shows how Marvin and Whizzer’s relationship has matured and grown stable and less toxic and they all tell me that “everything will be alright” and every single time, I almost believe them.

2. Year of the Child

I just really love the melody and the choreography and vocals. Marvin and Trina are like so very cute in this song bc it shows how much they both adore Jason, and Mendel is such an icon, and it’s the introduction of the lesbians next door!! What more could you ask for????

3. What Would I Do?

Honestly I can’t even talk about how much I adore this one - how often I binge-listen to it and feel my heart sink and swell - how all the layers and melancholy and references and harmonies and just everything about it can move me to tears. It’s so so so so so good and so so so so important and I could write 10k words dissecting the lyrics and context and overall meaning and purpose, but for now i’m just going to shut up.

[avidbeader]

Voltron fanfic: “Scattered” Chapter 15

Season 2 AU. No ships, K+ to T rating. Begin at the beginning here.

Giving a particular shout-out to @rangergirl3 – after reading the latest installment of her “Lost Paladins” series with all the Keith and all the Pidge, one thread to this chapter just took off and started running and I don’t know when it’s gonna stop. And after you read this fic/chapter, give yourself a few days’ treat and go read her stuff – it’s fabulous and full of solid OCs and world building, great character interactions, plenty of hurt balanced by plenty of comfort, and all the nerdy references you could want.

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Pidge set up the laptop to transfer the rest of its files to the Altean database, locking the information under a personal password, then looked around for how to make Keith more comfortable until Allura could try to address the energy issue.

And then she kicked herself for sending the others out so fast. There was no way she could drag a bed or couch from another room here, and even then she couldn’t lift Keith by herself. Everyone else was currently in the control room and she was not going to interrupt negotiations. Time to improvise.

She raided a storage cabinet of all the blankets meant for patients when they exited a cryo-pod. She piled a few together next to Keith for a makeshift mattress and shifted him onto it in stages. She added another pair of blankets to cover him, then considered. She pulled off most of the white-and-green pieces to her armor so she was left in the same black uniform as Keith, then sat cross-legged at his head. She lifted him up enough so his head rested in her lap, then activated the interface in the gauntlet that she still wore and laid her bayard on the floor next to her, ready to snatch up.

“Let’s see what we can find from here…”

After a few tries, Pidge found a pathway into the Garrison’s Internet connection. She began scanning the major news sites, her free hand absently running through Keith’s hair as she read.

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“What do we have, Coran?”

“It seems to be a voice message only. I think we would need Pidge to instruct them on establishing visual contact, since she’s familiar with their capability.”

Allura shook her head. “She’s watching over Keith right now. We’ll make do.” In her peripheral vision, she noticed Hunk and Matt Holt put their heads together over Pidge’s station. She drew a deep breath and nodded at her adviser, who touched a control and gave her the thumb-up gesture she had seen the Paladins use.

“This is Princess Allura of Altea. To whom am I speaking?”

“I’m Commander Iverson, head of Galaxy Garrison.”

He was the one trying to open communications with Keith. He told us where to find him.

Before she could answer, Iverson continued. “Please, is Cadet Kogane—Keith, is he safe?”

Allura the princess felt her anger loosen at that. This man sounded genuinely concerned. But Allura the leader of the universe’s only known resistance to Zarkon replied.

“Why would you think he’d be safer with us than with you? Aren’t we the aliens here?”

Iverson hesitated very briefly, then spoke. “Because even though he left the Garrison early, between his time here and what Captain Shirogane would say about him, I know something about Keith. He does not give his trust lightly and you people obviously earned it. His very first thought was returning to you. He wanted to give us information about some threat called the Galra and communicate with the other cadets’ families, but he never once indicated any desire to stay here.”

Allura glanced at Shiro, who nodded at her.

“He is safe enough, though he will need medical attention from the drugs you poured into him.” Allura’s tone turned sharp.

“I have the list that Darzi and Blackwell used—”

“Unnecessary. We have that information.”

That seemed to stun Iverson and Allura did not volunteer how they knew. She continued, “Those names, have those people been punished yet for their assault?”

“They are being held while we try and sort out exactly what happened. Darzi will face a court martial at the very least.”

“I will tell you now. We have ways of monitoring the outcome of any inquiry you have, and if we are not satisfied with his punishment, we can and will enact our own retribution against him.”

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Benítez had finally made it back to the Garrison, having been forced to land several miles away rather than risk becoming a target for the very large and very unknown space vessel that was hovering over the desert. She entered the communication center just in time to hear a female voice coldly announce that she was in possession of information that should not have been available to anyone besides the command staff. When that same voice followed up with threats, she inhaled sharply.

“This is General Benítez of Earthforce. Who are you to make that kind of threat?”

“I am Princess Allura, the guardian of the Voltron Force, and I will protect my Paladins in every way possible. Your people could have killed my Red Paladin with their insistence on medically coercing information from him. There is no threat. I promise that if your punishment does not fit this Darzi’s crimes, we will rectify the situation.”

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Shiro touched her arm gently and and she paused to look at him, a bit annoyed that he had stopped her building up into a really satisfying rant.

He waved at Coran and made a slashing motion across his throat. Coran looked puzzled for a moment, then realized what Shiro was asking and adjusted the controls. “All right, the connection is muted for the moment.”

Shiro turned and pointed to Pidge’s station. Matt looked up from his display. “We have visual contact ready if you want it – it’s going to pop up on one of their security camera viewscreens when I initiate.”

Allura smiled a little at that. Pidge’s brother was proving to be quite useful. “Yes, please.” She waved a hand to bring up the proper viewer.

Shiro moved to stand next to her and waved at Hunk and Lance. “Come on, guys, united front. Sam, Matt, will you join us at my signal?”

Both Holts nodded and Shiro turned to Coran. “Ready to reopen the channel.”

The screen wavered and then showed two people. Allura looked them over and guessed that the balding one with only one good eye was the adult male, Iverson, and that the one with dark hair pulled back from her face was the general.

Iverson jumped as he focused on the sudden visual. “Shirogane?”

“Commander.”

Iverson was now looking at Lance and Hunk. “I see Garrett and McClain. Where’s Gunderson? Is he all right?”

Lance snorted at that, but Shiro gave him a look and he got himself under control.

“The person in question is safe and currently looking after Keith. But there is no ‘Pidge Gunderson’. That person assumed a false identity to infiltrate the Garrison and look for more information on why her family disappeared.”

As they watched, the penny dropped and Iverson breathed, “Katie Holt.”

Shiro nodded once and waved to the waiting pair. “And as you can see, she succeeded where you failed.”

Sam and Matt stepped forward and Sam gave a resigned smile. “Hello, Mitch.”

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After a few minutes of shared crying from joy, Rosa pulled herself together. “I’ll contact Iolana to let her know about Hunk…oh, lord, should I wait? I need to figure out the time difference—”

Colleen interrupted, her own emotional storms subsiding as her natural inclination to organize took over. “Go ahead and call now. Even if you wake her, you’re giving her good news. I’ll contact Shiro’s family.”

“And the Garrison? When do we contact them?”

“We don’t. Sam was very insistent on that. They lied and covered up the fact that the Kerberos team was kidnapped by aliens. They lied again when our children disappeared. Sam said he’d contact me as soon as they handled their immediate crisis and sort out when and how to meet.”

“What do we do if they contact us first? Or reporters?”

Colleen thought a moment. “We have plausible deniability with that audio being spread about everywhere. Deny everything but that you know Lance is alive until we have some guidance from Sam.”

Rosa glanced at Seamus and the girls, all listening closely. He nodded at her. She replied, “All right. We stay in touch and contact the others as soon as anyone hears anything.”

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His surroundings brightened and shifted away from Red’s soothing aura. For a moment it was as if he were surrounded by the gleaming white and soft blue that characterized the Castle. Then everything came into focus, showing the room where he was being held prisoner.

He struggled uselessly against bindings that held him down as the door opened. Darzi was coming back again…Darzi would never stop trying to wring every last bit of information from him.

Red! Red, where are you?

And then the figure moved from the door to tower over him. A scarred, purple face grinned at him, violet eyes shining in glee at his helplessness. The figure lifted clawed hands and brought them down, sealing off his air. He tried to tell himself it was just a dream. And then he felt something warm on his face.

“Keith! Wake up! It’s okay!”

He tried with everything he had to fight the hands that were suffocating him. To his surprise, his arms moved and he connected with the form hovering above him.

“Ow, dammit, Keith! Wake up! You’re dreaming! Wake up!”

Wake up, my Paladin!

Zarkon’s face shifted, becoming rounder and pale and…

“Pidge?”

Her face was upside down and it took him a moment to realize he was looking up at her from her lap. Her glasses were askew. She straightened them and smoothed his hair back from his face.

“Yeah. You with me?”

“Where…where are we?”

Home, my Paladin.

“We’re safe in the Castle. We broke you out of the Garrison.”

He felt locked muscles begin to relax at the knowledge that he was out of that blasted room, out of Darzi’s hands. But the second the tension in his body eased, sensation flooded in. Pain hammered his skull and shot down his neck into his shoulders. His mouth and throat felt full of sand. He could feel sore points on his arms from where needles had been inserted and his skin itched with the need for a thorough shower. The only things that felt good were Red purring in his mind and Pidge combing through his hair with her fingers.

She shifted underneath him. “Here, can you sit up a second?”

Keith was able to prop himself on his elbows long enough for her to bring a stack of folded blankets over. But sitting up made his head swim and he fell back on the improvised pillow. Pidge frowned at that. “Are you dizzy?”

He nodded.

“Headache? Dry mouth?”

“Yeah.”

She took his hand and pinched the back of it briefly, her eyes narrowing when it took several seconds for the skin to smooth out again. “You’re dehydrated. Those bastards.” She went to a cabinet and pulled out a few pouches; he recognized them as the portable drinks Coran gave them when they were training. She opened one and handed it to him. “Slowly. If you suck it down there’s every chance you’ll throw it back up.”

“Yes, Mom.”

Pidge rolled her eyes, but grinned at him. Keith made himself sip the liquid, rather than gulp as he wanted to do the second it hit his parched throat.

She snagged a laptop from its perch on the console and settled close beside him. Now that the light showed her face fully, he could see a red mark on her face that appeared set to bruise deeply. He flashed back to the dream, striking out against Zarkon’s image, and realized what he had done.

He reached up but she caught his hand before he could touch her.

“God, Pidge, I’m sorry—”

She squeezed his hand and laid it back on his chest. “It’s okay, I’m just glad you’re awake and coherent. Everyone’s been worried sick, I’m still so mad that the Garrison did this to you!”

“Earthforce. Not the Garrison.”

“What?”

“It was someone in Earthforce that gave me all this trouble. I remember Iverson saying something about them pulling rank.”

“Oh.” Several expressions flitted across Pidge’s face as she assimilated the new information. She looked back down at the laptop and scrolled to something, then brought up a screen from her gauntlet and poked at it.

“That’s not yours.”

“No, I stole it when we went in to rescue you. We needed the medical information to tell the cryo-pod what to fix, given that Altean medicine might not recognize Earth drugs.”

Keith looked around at the makeshift bed, his armor piled to one side. “So, why am I not currently imitating a popsicle, then?”

“I wish you hadn’t said ‘popsicle’. I’ve been reading everything about what’s been going on—there were too many photos and vids for Earthforce to hope to contain the news—and the food ads are killing me.”

“Back to the point, Hunk…”

She made a face at him. “Anyway, Allura was afraid to use a pod because somehow your body is acting like a supercharged battery full of that Quintessence stuff the Galra were processing at that hub. We have no idea how—”

She broke off, seeing Keith’s expression change.

“You have an idea how that happened.”

“Yeah, but go on.”

“So she wasn’t sure that the pod would be able to manage the excess energy you currently have inside you. I think she might want to try something like what we saw her doing with the Balmera, siphoning it off or redirecting it or something.”

Keith nodded thoughtfully at that.

“I think that this Quintessence issue is part of the reason you had such a high resistance to their drugs.” Something on the screen from her gauntlet beeped and she poked it, studying something on it.

“What’s that?” Keith finished the last of the drink.

Pidge swapped the empty pouch for a new one. “Tell you later. Anything feeling better?” She started to lay a hand on his forehead to see if he felt feverish, but he instinctively jerked from her hand. She saw his pulse jump in his throat and his eyes dilate.

“All right, what is it?”

“What’s what?” he deflected, willing himself to calm his racing heartbeat. Red rumbled in his head, trying to soothe him even as her own anger spiked.

“Why are you so jumpy about me touching your face? First you slugged me one and now you avoid me checking your temperature.”

He looked down and closed his eyes, searching for a way to tell her without having to relive those terror-filled moments of Darzi’s hands clamped across his face, the inability to defend himself, the struggle to breathe.

Too late.

He reached for her hand and pressed it to his cheek, deliberately trying to break the association. Inhaling deeply, he opened his eyes. “I think it was the second or third time they tried a truth serum on me. The lieutenant general that was in charge arranged to take out the medtech that was in the room and brought his own person, so he could use as much of the amo-whatever as he wanted. I yelled, trying to get anyone’s attention, and he…he tried to stop me. But he covered my nose and mouth so tightly I couldn’t breathe. And then he seemed to lose it. If the medtech with him hadn’t stopped him, he’d’ve killed me.” He closed his eyes again and focused on her hand, which had begun to tremble.

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My sister! Is this true?

Red growled dangerously in reply to Green’s question. Yes.

And you left the place standing?

If the other had not stopped the attack, I would have razed it to the ground.

And I would help you!

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Pidge caressed his cheek and withdrew her hand. Keith opened his eyes and looked, seeing her visibly trying to control a growing rage.

Glints of gold swirled in her brown eyes.

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Allura watched the reactions closely. Iverson seemed stunned at the appearance of the Holts while Benítez immediately frowned.

Iverson was the first to speak. “Sam…you’re alive. You’re all alive!”

“We are. Matt owes his life to Shiro and we owe our freedom to Lance and the rest of the Voltron Force. But you? You lied about what happened to us. You put out a false story blaming Shiro for an accident that never happened!”

Benítez snapped, “That was the only thing we could do! If we’d told the public there were signs of you all being taken by some alien force, we’d have uncontrollable panic!”

“And yet when I returned, you didn’t listen to me, either.” Shiro’s voice was hard and cold, and Allura couldn’t stop herself from glancing at him worriedly.

“If those cadets hadn’t interfered—”

“If they hadn’t, Earth would be under the control of the Galra Empire right now. We were the ones in the Blue Lion when it led the warship away.”

That seemed to stop the general. She took a deep breath before speaking again. “We’re not getting anywhere like this. What is it that you want?”

Allura stepped forward slightly. “We are willing to give you intelligence on the Galra. We will decide on a few alterations to your technology that will permit scans at longer ranges than you currently have. In exchange, you will guarantee safe passage so my Paladins can see their families and establish their own secure methods of communication with them. Finally, we will establish multiple layers of counter-signs so that in case the Galra do approach your system you will be able to alert us through the Paladins’ families.”

Iverson and Benítez looked at one another and Allura sensed that they might have a starting point. She schooled her face to prevent a smile of triumph from showing.

The floor of the Castle shook under her feet.

Startled, she looked around and saw similar confusion on the Paladins’ faces. Then she realized what was happening when twin roars tore through the halls, echoing from the bays to the control room.

Each of the Paladins had what she would call the ‘listening’ face as a child: that open, concentrating expression which meant that the Lions were communicating with their pilots. Then all three of them—Shiro, Lance, and Hunk—suddenly looked furious. Before everyone’s eyes, Shiro’s right hand began to glow as it curled into a fist.

Allura jumped when a new comm screen popped up, showing Pidge with a truly terrifying snarl on her face, her eyes seeming to glow in anger.

“Princess, has Earthforce dealt with that murderer Darzi?”

“Murderer?” Allura spun back to the two humans on the other screen.

Iverson looked shocked, then angry. He turned on the general. “Is that what Perkins was talking about? Did Darzi actually assault him?”

Benítez slumped her shoulders slightly.

Allura’s eyes widened at the unspoken admission. “Pidge, what are you talking about?”

“Keith just told me! Darzi tried to kill him!”

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