#THIS IS JUST ME BEING SALTY. BUT YOU SEE IT. YOU SEE THE METAPHOR. RIGHT.

[bougiebutchbinch]

seeing bullshit(TM) in the queer & disabled & otherwise marginalised communities and pondering a very heavyhanded metaphor in typical marvel fashion where the X-Men don't welcome Wade and instead tell him to take a hike because he's not a real mutant, and therefore he could not possibly understand the discrimination and misery they face

all while Wade is getting hatecrimed daily for being a mutant

because wow, people don't care if you're a mutant or a mutate when you look visibly different and Aren't Normal

imagine that

[astraystayyh]

tags ended so im continuing here

"allow the pain to fade in the background" i loved this sentence because this is exactly how it feels for me when i swim, everything just faded and all i feel is the water, and HYUNJIN IS THIS WATER FOR HERRRR

THE POEM!!!!!! "your lungs are burning" because she's holding her breath in the water BUT SHE HAS TO LET GO AND BREATHE "the weight of the ocean isn't trying to harm you" YESSS!!!! i love your writing you're BRILLANT

THE ENTIRE PARAGRAPH ABOUT THE LEAP OF FAITH JUST HAD ME CLUTCHING MY HEART,,,,, i love how it came full circle, from her watching the waves lapping at her feet, to embracing the ocean that is hyunjin I'm so soft rn

and her wondering before if she puts her head on his chest would she hear the waves AND THEN HIS HEARTBEAT SPEAKS TO YOU IN CALL WAVES AJSJDBBDBDBFBFB just perfect

YOU OUTDID YOURSELF WITH THIS ONE I TRULY LOVED IT thank you for writing it <3333 (and the i love you paragraph broke me it really did, u put stars and oceans metaphors into this THIS WAS A PERSONAL ATTACK)

Cleaning supplies... Under the moonlight | Hwang Hyunjin

Pairing: Hyunjin x reader (no pronouns used but they are wearing a swim suit)

Characters: best friend!Hyunjin, reader, David (reader’s boyfriend), Jihyo and Luna (reader’s friends) and Sharon (identity is a spoiler). None of the original characters resemble real people.

Genre: Romance, best friends to lovers, ANGST, hurt/comfort, being saved from a messy break-up, slow burn, star-crossed lovers

Word Count: 8k

Warnings: CHEATING (reader gets cheated on by her boyfriend), toxic relationship, messy break-up, crying, reader becomes very insecure, Hyunjin is there to save the day, and he’s pining hard, reader is wearing a swim suit, I have no idea how heated pools work so don’t quote me on anything, Hyunjin is a poet so; I present to you confessing feelings through love poems, Hyunjin is shirtless, swearwords, reader gets called ‘angel’, kissing, cuddles, a bit of revenge, humor, the tense change is intentional (kinda), hopelessly romantic stuff, poetic prose, metaphors galore and lots of word plays (if you catch them all I’ll give you a gold star.)

A/n: I know the first part of the story focused on the reader’s relationship with her toxic boyfriend, but Hyunjin will become the main focus after the break-up so please don’t let the beginning intimidate you. Also I worked on this an entire week lord send help

Synopsis: Your vacation was supposed to go like this: scented candles, a warm pool and the light of the moon, in hopes of fixing your relationship with your boyfriend. But the universe had other plans. After you found out he has been cheating, you bathed under the moonlight, surrounded by broken roses, being confessed in poems by your best friend Hyunjin, and you’ve never felt so whole.

You've put everything into this vacation.

And that didn't only mean money, albeit it was quite costly. You, your boyfriend and some close friends decided to rent out a vacation house with a gigantic heated pool, to at least create a fun, leisure memory before summertime slipped between your fingers and the sun would grow sad and dim once again. With the price shared by so many people, it was still quite a lot - but you didn't care, because there was more emotion put behind this vacation than mere money.

Perhaps it wasn't the healthiest of solutions, just how when a couple decided to get married to fix their relationship (which to you always seemed like such a horrid idea), you were trying something similar. You wanted this vacation with your boyfriend, David. Things between you haven't been good, that would be the simplest way to put it. His behavior changed, he became more distant, less passionate about your relationship, and one thing led to another and you were fighting because of your growing suspicions. Truth be told, you were terrified. Afraid he didn't love you anymore, afraid he found someone else to spend his nights with.

He had been everything to you, the fiber woven from your cells, the beginning and end of every breath you took - because when you loved, you didn't hold back. And it came to you so naturally, too; to love him. You've never had something so simple, so stable until you met him. But they do say every good thing must come to an end, and there's this little cricket in the back of your mind, at low volume but at an unbearable high pitch, following you every moment, whether awake or asleep. It's telling you your gut is right. Vivi (so you've nicknamed him, many months ago, when his friends were making fun of how basic the name David is) has told you a million times you had nothing to worry about. That he's just busy, or stressed, or that your love is just settling into something more calm, rather than an intense teenage-like love, like it used to be in the beginning. He's made you feel insane so many times over. Like you're just imagining things, like your insecurities are getting out of hand and you're just projecting on him, lashing out at him. You thought you deserved the pain that came with the accusations of being untrusting, immature, unconfident, inconsiderate or selfish. But you didn't, of course you didn't. You didn't deserve any of that.

You were afraid Vivi wouldn't agree to the vacation, or even if he did, he wouldn't pull through on the money part and you'd have to pay his share. You were ready to annihilate your savings account just for this one chance at a happy memory. This one chance at making things right. But surprisingly, he agreed in a heartbeat and even suggested a specific vacation house he's heard of from his friends. Not even two days later, he had all the details down, made the math of the expenses and put together the whole group chat. You thought this was it, he was actually trying again. Showing you he still does have the passion to make you happy.

You couldn't have picked out a better date for the vacation, either. The first night, it would be a full moon, with a clear sky. You were imagining it already, how magical it was going to be, soaking in a heated pool under the moonlight with David, reciting your love vows once more, like you used to do in the start of your relationship. You couldn't help how hopelessly romantic you were, you needed to let it out, confess disgustingly sappy and cheesy words of admiration. But more than that, you needed him to tell you he loves you. You needed it.

When you arrived, you were met with a stranger who had been waiting for you and your friends at the vacation house. She introduced herself as Sharon, the daughter of the owner. Since her father was busy, she was left in charge of giving you the orientation.

"I'm not going to bother you much." She assured you, her voice was low in volume and yet high in pitch. "I'm just going to give you a quick tour of the rooms and then explain to you how the pool works, and what cleaning supplies you can use just in case you need them." She was a beautiful girl, so beautiful in fact, that the cricket in the back of your mind was telling you to be envious. You couldn't quite understand it, but you brushed it off.

There were three rooms in the house, each of them with their own bathroom. It was so much more luxurious than you imagined, and suddenly it seemed odd that you paid so little for something so grand. You remembered Vivi saying something about a discount, but the memory was vague. Nevertheless, the room count was perfect. One room would belong to you and Vivi, one to Jihyo and Luna, and one to Hyunjin.

You met Jihyo through Vivi, they were coworkers at some point. But the two of you instantly clicked and became girl friends, and the more, the merrier - Luna was her adopted sister, picked up from an orphanage in Spain. She was one of the most incredible and strongest women you've ever met, and you simply adored her. It was so magical to see how the two sisters came in a package, how they looked after each other with unconditional love. You thought something like that only existed in TV shows.

And lastly, there was Hyunjin. A man, a poet, a romantic with beauty deemed worthy of a Greek tragedy. But most importantly, your best friend; your lifeline. He understood you, in ways no one ever could. Your souls were made from the same material, the same thirst of emotions of celestial scales, he saw beauty in the small things just like you did. And he has been there, day in, day out, through your ugliest moments. When you were single at prom, he turned down at least 15 girls to take you instead. When you were too broke to afford Taylor Swift tickets, he pretended to 'roam the city' with you so that you'd listen to the concert from outside the stadium. When a boy broke your heart, he'd turn your pain into the most beautiful poems, and gift them to you in journals filled with drawings of your favorite flowers. He was more than anyone could ever ask for, and you were forever grateful to have such a human in your life. The perfect best friend.

With the tour out of the way, you volunteered to go with Sharon and receive the tutorial about the pool and supplies you must use for it. She explained to you the heating mechanism (although all you needed to do was turn it on, she reassured you.) and that water might need to be replenished if you use the pool a long time since the heat makes it evaporate faster. You jutted down all you could in your notes app, and then followed her to the supply closet. She explained to you about chlorine (although half of what she said went over your head) and showed you the cleaning supplies you can use in the instance that the water becomes extremely dirty (which she knew wouldn't be the case, but she was required to let you know). By the end of it, you were starting to think your senses maybe are going insane. Sharon seemed like a very nice and gentle person, and her attitude was very bright and easygoing. You told her you were gonna take some pictures of the bottles and note down in your phone what they are, so she gave you a warm smile and left you alone in the supply closet.

After writing your own one-thousand-words heated pool manual (pictures included), you were ready to have the vacation of a lifetime. You picked out a swimsuit in Vivi's favorite color, prepared his favorite scented candles to place around the pool, and alerted your friends beforehand that you wanted the pool just for you and Vivi on the first night. It was all coming together perfectly, so you grabbed the door handle with confidence.

"I'm sure my friends wouldn't mind if I leave a little bit later. We could grab some food and then hit up that bar you like? Don't I owe you a mojito?" That was Vivi's voice. Even with the door cracked just a little, you could hear it. It was so clear. It was his voice.

"I would love to." The cricket. Low in volume, high in pitch. It was speaking - it was agreeing to go out with your boyfriend.

"And maybe, afterwards I could take you home? Would you like that?" Your eyes are closed shut. But you couldn't close your ears, unfortunately. The conversation continued, and you could imagine him whispering in her ear, looking into her eyes and tipping her chin just how he used to do with you. Tears were about to escape, so you closed them even tighter. Your lungs were burning, because you were denying them air. Holding your breath, you bit your lip, hands shaking as they gripped the wall.

"Speaking of taking something home, I have something for you-"

You finally took a breath. And you stormed towards the voices.

Your vision was blurry, but after blinking away your tears, an image formed before your eyes: David, holding out a gigantic rose bouquet towards Sharon.

The ugliest flowers you've ever seen in your life, held by the ugliest man you've ever met. He was never beautiful to begin with, right? He couldn't have. A man with such an ugly soul, how could you have been attracted to him? How could you have loved him?

He calls out your name.

"This isn't what it looks like, okay? My dad is friends with Sharon's dad, okay? We became friends by association, okay?"

Okay?  Is he asking you that, or is he asking himself if the lie is plausible?

"And these are for you, yeah?" He's walking towards you, putting the bouquet in your limp hand. "There's nothing going on between me and Sharon." The cricket, it suddenly stopped. Instead, you heard Sharon gasp and look at David in horror. She must have not known. She was also just a victim.

"Just stop it already! Enough with the lies!" You found yourself yelling, a never seen before anger bubbling underneath your skin. Your fingertips urged you towards violence, and so you slammed the roses into the floor. The petals scattered and the stems broke. Your yell must have startled the others, because soon you heard a lot of footsteps behind you - and then Sharon turned around and walked away, a hurt look in her eyes, head hanging low in shame. She was avoiding the eyes of all your friends, who were now staring at you and David.

"Okay, fine. You've gotten boring and I was no longer happy. I was going to leave you anyway." He was so nonchalant, there was no waver in his voice. That made you feel as if every time he whispered sweet nothings in your ear, and his voice wavered, he wasn't honest. Only now, has he finally been honest.

And the most honest, he was when he took off in a run to chase after Sharon. To make sure she's okay. To comfort her and tell her she's the one he loves.

You fell to the floor.

And to your side, rushed no other than Hyunjin. Like always, to make sure you're okay. To comfort you and tell you you are loved.

The sobs broke out of your body and shook you violently. You were a mess of tears in just a few seconds, and you weren't going to hold back. You wailed, grabbed the roses and slammed them into the floor repeatedly.

But it was useless. They couldn't feel pain. They couldn't feel your pain. They couldn't realize what they have done to you.

Hyunjin wrapped his arms around your frame and gently lifted you to your feet.

"C'mon, let's get you in bed, yeah?" Your knees were buckling and you had no strength to stand. You were shaking your head no, like a toddler who didn't want to go back home. "We can continue crying in bed, mmm? Don't worry, I'll let you cry. I'll cry with you, angel." Your arms circled his torso, clutching his shirt between your fingers. You called out his name, and he reassured you he knows, he knows it hurts.

He carefully took your hand and dragged you away. He exchanged glances and nodded at your friends, but you didn't notice. You whispered to him, groggy in voice, that you can't go to your own room, because David's things are there. So Hyunjin took you to his room, which was the best choice for many reasons, not only so you can avoid seeing his things, but also so that he could avoid the urge of throwing David's suitcase out the window.

Hyunjin was true to his words. He sat you down in bed, and let you cry. And before he knew it, he was crying with you. He was holding you so tight, and it was so warm, and yet the shards of ice in your heart weren't melting. At first, you were angry - how could a human do something like this? Something so despicable, so vile? How could you not have realized you were in love with a monster? But then, his voice began to ring in your head. You're boring. He was going to leave you anyways. Perhaps it's you who's the problem. Perhaps you really are boring, and old-fashioned, and demanding, and idealistic, and untrusting, and immature, and too much to handle, and perhaps you should just give up because you're just un-

"Hyune, am I unlovable?" Your voice was barely there, but he heard you. He always heard you.

"Nonsense." He looked so hurt to hear you say that. "That's such nonsense." He repeated with a laugh, wiping his tears on his sleeve. "That's the most stupid thing you've ever said in your life. And you've said many stupid things, I would know." You slapped his arm in protest, but he was happy to see you chuckle.

"I mean, even if I'm not completely unlovable, Sharon is still prettier than me..." The flick of Hyunjin's fingers resonated on your forehead. You held your head in pain.

"What the hell, dude!"

"It's revenge! Every single time you say something like that, it hurts me. So I must hurt you back." You sighed. You knew he was joking, but at the same time, there was some truth behind it.

"I'm sorry, Hyune. I should have listened to you. You didn't like him since the very beginning, and you were the only one telling me my gut was right. It must have been so painful to just watch."

"It's painful to watch you now, as well." He confessed, and you felt a pang of guilt wash over you. But he pulled you back in his arms, to pet you hair lovingly. "That bastard, how dare he hurt my angel. I swear I'm gonna turn into Rapunzel's mom and lock you up in a tower so no one can ever hurt you again."

"Hmm, but doesn't pain help us grow or whatever?"

You were pretty sure Hyunjin just rolled his eyes all the way back to China.

"First of all, we all know pain just gives you more trauma. But I mean, your trauma collection is getting quite... exquisite nowadays." You smacked him again, playfully. But this time, you actually laughed. "No but seriously... there is a lesson in there somewhere. And not just to listen to me more often... to learn that you deserve more, angel." He was so close to you while he was speaking, his eyes aimed directly into yours. Your gaze wondered over him, over Hyunjin, your best friend. His chocolate eyes, sweeter than any cake you could ever eat, his vibrant lips, plumper than any wild cherry growing in the trees, his skin - like a canvas painted over the years with the brush of years and aging. His hair was long and dark, rebellious yet elegant, and the light was cascading in the room in lines, through the blinds that were semi-shut over the windows. Suddenly, there was a new sound in your mind. There was no more cricket, there was the sound of the ocean. Waves, crashing upon the shore. You were barely at the seams, the water was gently lapping at your feet; because you knew, you cannot underestimate the ocean. If you go any further, one wave is enough to push you off balance and take you into the water, like an irresistible magnet pulling you towards demise. One step, one wave, is enough. One more inch between your lips and his.

He pushed your shoulder lightly and you fell face first into the pillows.

"And if you say more mean things about yourself, I swear I'm throwing you in the pool." You reached out for the napkins on the nightstand. It was finally time to stop crying and... think about the future?

"The pool... tonight was supposed to be all romantic and perfect, with candles and the full moon on clear skies..."

"I like full moons and clear skies!" Hyunjin announced, and for some reason it made you burst into laugher. "What! It's true! The idiot would have probably not enjoyed it anyways. He has no eye for beauty. He thinks having one green wall in his grey apartment is enough for him to live 'in vibrant color'. Okay Picasso, but like why the fuck must that wall be in the kitchen?!" You look happy when you laugh. He loves seeing you happy. "You dodged a bullet, trust me. First it's the green kitchen wall, next he ignores the perfect date that his perfect girl set up for him-" His perfect girl. You heart was racing. "-and next he-"

"Tries to double tap her with the daughter of a vacation house owner. He couldn't even find the daughter of a rich CEO."

"- I was gonna say next he's the only single grandpa in a retirement home, because he's too sad of an excuse of a man, but that too." Hyunjin always did this for you, as well. He made sure to roast all of your exes until all you could think of them is burnt chicken. Until the memory of them becomes something funny, that could never hurt you again. "Plus, I'm not letting your efforts go to waste - I'm not letting you miss this chance. Let's watch the moon, together."

You nodded. What else could you do?

You decided it would be best to try to take a nap until night hit. So much crying has left you dizzy and with a headache crawling at fast speeds through your forehead and sinuses.

"Do you have any painkillers? Should I try to find a pharmacy around here?" Hyunjin offered, but you reassured him you have some in your suitcase. "Okay, wait here, I'll go get it for you- but uh, which one is yours?"

"The one that has color on it, duh." He disappeared with a giggle, around the corner.

"I will never underestimate you ever again, ma'am." He joked, placing your colorful suitcase next to the bed. He made sure none of your items were left over in the room you used to shared with David, and insisted you stay put while he brings you a glass of water.

Pills in your system, blinds closed, blanket over your shoulders, Hyunjin curled on the other side of the bed, as small as he could make himself be, so that he doesn't make you feel suffocated. But he was holding two of your fingers in his hand, from across the bed. The skin of two fingers was enough pathway for you to feel a million bodies worth of love, though.

When you woke up, he wasn't there. Nor David who was haunting you in your dreams, nor Hyunjin who was whispering poems to you to chase the nightmares away. You thought you'd be alright after crying it out, but it wasn't that easy. You woke up feeling miserable, with a heavy weight on your chest, and yet feeling so empty and hollow.

You checked your phone, and he hasn't called. You didn't know if you should feel sad or relieved about it. At least he won't chase after you again, right? It won't be another hurtful on and off. It's over. He doesn't love you anymore.

"Oh hey, you're awake- Nah ah, no more crying! You've had your fill of tears, now it's time for a fill of pizza! Get your ass to the living room, missy!" You didn't have the time to cry when Hyunjin was chasing you out of the room with a pillow.

It was a little bit awkward at first, because Jihyo and Luna didn't know if they should bring it up or just try to distract you. Eventually you bit the bullet and began to tell them about your relationship yourself. All the behavior changes, the suspicions, the hurtful words (that you now realize were manipulation) and all the lies.

"Not even his guy friends knew." Jihyo told you. She apparently told the whole group chat she was in with David's friends about what he has been doing. "He didn't just lose his girlfriend, I think he lost most of his friends by doing this."

"Thank you, Ji. For having my back." Perhaps your relationships were monster trucks, but your friends were really golden. They really looked after you.

"So!" Hyunjin announced. "Change of plans. She's having a romantic moonlit date with me, instead. So the pool is still off limits." After Luna threw what looked like a piece of olive at Hyunjin's shirt, and he screamed in your ear, eventually the sisters said they were planning on working on their DnD character sheets anyway. They were your favorite nerds.

According to your phone, the moon would begin to rise at around nine in the evening. It was just enough time for the food in your bellies to settle, while you caught up with the new videos of your favorite comedy channel. Laughter filled the room, and Jihyo and Luna made sure to cuddle the heck out of you, to distract you from that emptiness that was threatening to form into a pit in your stomach.

"So, what scented candles do you have? Something sexy and seductive?" Hyunjin asked you, wriggling his eyebrows. It made the other girls giggle.

"Apple." You answered, and the whole room deadpanned.

"In what world is apple sexy?!"

"It's his favorite!" You tried to defend yourself, but Hyunjin just scoffed.

"Jesus fucking Christ, you really needed a new boyfriend." This roast didn't make you grin. It didn't make you laugh. Instead, you looked down at the floor, a sigh shaking your body. As the seconds passed, you began to feel more and more stupid for ending up in this situation. For being so dumb as to let yourself be led on by some pretty words, and pretty eyes, that you could ever be truly loved- "Sorry." Hyunjin apologized in a panic. It just slipped, he had so much resentment bottled up for that man. "It's a good thing I brought some of mine with me. They're not exactly sexy, but they should be more fitting."

"Oh, what scent is it?"

"Ocean." Ocean, the waves that are lapping at your feet. They're calling you over.

Hyunjin was calling you over, to see if you like the smell of the candles. You had gone through too many emotions today: the anger, the sadness, the insecurities, and now this anxiety. Or was it thrill? If you put your ear on Hyunjin's chest, would you be able to hear the waves?

"I'm going to go set these up." He announced, and you nodded.

"I'll get changed." With a skip to his step, Hyunjin walked out and closed the door to give you privacy. You're not even in the water yet, and you already feel like you're drowning.

You fished out your swim suit from your luggage and laid it out on the bed before you. You actually bought this - spent so much money on it - got it in his favorite color - for a man who was cheating on you. You were really regretting not having brought an alternative with you. You couldn't just walk out in underwear and a shirt, right? Better not. You grit your teeth and put it on, but made a mental note to 'accidentally' start a dumpster fire, and 'accidentally' drop the swim suit in it after tonight.

When you were done changing, you found Hyunjin out by the pool. Somehow, he managed to turn it on by himself since you could already see steam coming off of it. He arranged two candles around one corner of the pool (since he only had two) and was probably waiting for you to arrive.

"Oh, angel. That color does not suit you." Hyunjin had always been quite picky when it came to fashion. He had his 'disgusted fashion designer' face on.

"I know, it's-"

"Let me guess, his favorite color? I've seem vomit more vibrant than that." You snorted at the comment. The color was, in fact, quite horrible. "If I wouldn't know how much money you probably spent on that, I'd tell you to set it on fire." You laughed. Great minds think alike.

"I was thinking the same thing." After exchanging grins, Hyunjin seemed to fall into thought. He had that look in his eyes that told you there was a complicated process going on in his mind.

"I'll buy you a new one." Surprised, you cocked an eyebrow at him as you approached the side of the pool he was at. You scooted next to the scented candle he lit, and sat down on the edge. "Careful you don't burn you butt." He joked, and you rolled your eyes at him. The candle wasn't even close to touching you. The water was very warm and calming, you noticed, when you dipped your feet in. It made you want to move even closer to the edge so that your tired ankles would be soothed.

"You don't need to buy me a new one. What would I use it for? I don't think I'll be at any pool again any time soon." A rosy petal tickled your toes and you realized the bouquet had somehow ended up in the water. There were petals and tiny white flowers scattered all around the corner of the pool. It would have been a beautiful sight, if it wasn't so tragic.

"Well, maybe I have been secretly planning a weekend trip to Jeju island for you and I." That surely caught you off guard. You barely had any money left after this vacation, you wouldn't be able to afford a trip to Jeju. He wasn't planning on paying for it all by himself, right?

"I mean, that sounds lovely, Hyune." You replied, even if you had some financial disagreements to talk about later. "But it's september! I don't think I'll be walking around in a swimsuit at the beach in this weather. It's getting chilly." The air was quite cold, you've noticed it ever since the morning. The sun didn't have the same strength as a few days ago - but thankfully the heat coming off of the pool was making it bearable to be out just in a swim suit.

"First of all, summer is a feeling, not a season. And second, I'll just get you one for next summer." Next summer - you almost forgot. To Hyunjin, highschool with you was barely yesterday, and next summer should be in two days. A year was nothing to him when he promised you forever.

"Okay." You replied quietly, swooshing the water around with your feet. You were scared to look him in the eyes, because suddenly you felt so vulnerable. You could trust his idea of forever, right?

"Okay!" He replied with a much brighter note. "With that settled, I'll go get changed for our pool adventure." He walked away, leaving you alone with your thoughts, and the subtle smell of the ocean. It was still calling you, but now you could hear it clearer. You could smell it clearer. One more step, one more inch of your skin under the water, and perhaps you could feel it clearer, too.

The wait would have been agonizing if you hadn't made a friend in the moon as soon as you found it in the sky. She - the moon has always been a she to you - was looking absolutely astonishing . For a second, a very silly second, you thought the moon had done a better job at dressing up for a romantic date than you did. You searched around for the evening star as well, the brightest, most beautiful star in the sky. You hoped if the moon was going on a date tonight, it would be with the evening star. For he was a strong man to always keep his light so bright, to always manage to guide the sailors lost in the night-

Hyunjin came back with a few tiny packages in his hand. He was shirtless; and from waist down he wore swim trunks, an ombre from blue, to light blue, to white. With the way the sky was reflected in the pool, you would think he was trying to blend in with the water.

"Choco?" He nudged you, offering you a golden foil. You took one from him happily, and watched him as he took off an elastic band from his wrist to put his hair up in a messy ponytail. The chocolate he offered you was very delicious, and you guessed also probably very fancy. Hyunjin never held back when it came to pleasing the senses. But you wondered, how come he's offering you something sweet? Wasn't the ocean supposed to be salty?

He also ate a chocolate quietly next to you. The silence was getting heavy, which was very odd. Silence was always comforting next to him, but now, the less he spoke the more you felt confused and lost at sea.

"The bouquet ended up in the water." You told him, trying to make any sort of small talk. He hummed, put away the foil of the sweet treat he consumed, and eased himself fully into the pool. As soon as he was in, he let out a soulful sigh. He adored warm water, and you could tell from his body language, from the way his shoulders slumped and his neck craned to stare at the night sky, jaw wide open in admiration - that Hyunjin was in a happy place. Was it just you who was nervous, then?

To your surprise, Hyunjin pushed through the water all the way to the corner where the bouquet was floating about. He picked it up, and began to crush the flowers in his hand so that the petals would fall. He left the stems empty, and then threw them out of the pool. With powerful motions, he made the water roll in waves, so that the petals would scatter throughout the entire pool.

"Now it's just part of the decorum." He said with a giggle. He approached you, and his hand was warm and welcoming when it gently touched your knee. "Forget who they're from." As he beckoned you to join him in the water, you wanted to let those words hypnotize you. Allow the pain to fade to the background.

You join him in the water, and it embraces you like you were meant to be held in someone's arms your entire life. Even though you are surrounded by those petals - those empty promises, those broken parts of your heart - something inside of you is healing. You are no longer putting meaning or significance onto them. They no longer hold you captive. For that tiny moment, everything is as it should be: there is no other place you should have been. No other person you should have been. And no other person - besides your best friend with a dizzying smile - should have accompanied you that night. It was the universe's plan, and no one could be blamed for that.

The universe is vast. As you look up, through the thousands of celestial bodies before you, you can't pin point any to curse in grief and woe. Furthermore, you can't even name this strange feeling of acceptance. It had just appeared in your heart. 

"The sky is so beautiful." You mumble, and Hyunjin almost surprises you when he hums. He looks just as awestruck as you do, and you know for a fact he was the one meant to join you. You watch the rise and fall of his chest, the deep breaths he takes as he says absolutely nothing. He is in a trance, and you are entranced by him.

"The moon and stars are shining for you, my love" You hear him say, but it was quiet, like he wasn't sure of his own words.

"For all that is up there, up above,

In the gentle skies of angels and sinners:

The moon rays and the cheeky glimmers," He takes a pause, as if to rest for a heartbeat and let himself smile.

"They're all but lights to make your eyes shine -

And help you see yourself in mine."

"That's beautiful, Hyune." You complimented. You wondered just how many poems he had stored in his mind and heart. Would you need a library pass to find out? "Who's it from?"

"Oh, he's not a published author." He replied cheekily. "Although he wishes he could be." From the shy yet smug look on his face, it was easy to piece it together.

"Did you write it?"

"Mhm."

"Like, on the spot? Just now?"

"Mhm."

You're absolutely insane!" You tell him with a gentle slap to the arm. He giggles and your heart melts. "I swear there's no human being more talented than you." He looks down at the water and something peculiar sparkles in his eyes. Something naughty, like a child being caught doing something he wasn't supposed to and yet he's unaware, he's proud of the mistake he's done.

"Well, it wouldn't be possible without you." You stare at him in confusion. Is he trying to thank you for supporting him and his passion for poetry? For the validation and reassurance you offer him when he works? It goes without question that you would be supporting your best friend- "Do you want me to recite the poem to you again?" You're confused and caught off guard. Frankly you have no idea what is going on, so you just shrug your shoulders awkwardly.

"Sure, I guess."

While Hyunjin has been standing to your side this entire time, leaning back on the edge of the pool, the scented candle between you two, now he moved to stand before you. He was blocking the moon, invading your senses, a dim light hugging his silhouette.

"The moon and stars are shining for you, my love" He's looking in your eyes, and his hands move to grip the edge of the pool on either side of you head. Your lungs are burning.

"For all that is up there, up above" He looks towards the sky for a split second, and then he looks back at you, his eyes clouding with mist.

"In the gentle skies of angels and sinners:" He searches for you hand in the water, and with the most gentle pull, he brings it to his lips to kiss your fingers. A rose petal slips off of you arm and back into the water.

"The moon rays and the cheeky glimmers," He's smiling. He's in his happy place, and yet, you don't know how to accept that the weight of the ocean isn't trying to harm you.

"They're all but lights to make your eyes shine -"  Was he seeing the moon in your eyes?

"And help you see yourself in mine." You were in his eyes. You were. It just took you so many years to see it.

"The moon and stars are shining for me?" You ask; you had to make sure. Your hands were shaking, and a chill ran down your spine.

"My love." He completed the lyric, and you were trying so so hard, to find oxygen in your lungs.

This was exactly were you were afraid of - that one step closer, the ocean waves would take you away, and you'd fall into the dark depths - and ultimately drown. "I'm in love with you." You hear him say. "I know you've been through so many emotions already, and this is just not the right time, because I don't wanna seem like I'm taking advantage of the situation and trying to be some sort of savior to you, but I really am in love with you and I can't stand watching you suffer-"

One of your favorite quotes you've ever read, by a person named Irtiqa Nabi, was 'The sea speaks more honestly to those willing to drown'.

You just had to be willing.

You just had to understand.

You don't need the oxygen.

You take one more, final breath and reach out to kiss Hyunjin before he rambled away all night. His hands fly to embrace you, to cradle your face, to shield you with his body. 

It was the most terrifying leap of faith you've ever made, but you finally realized the ocean wasn't evil. It wasn't trying to take your life away or rob you of your heart. No, the ocean was this being full of life, full of warmth; he wanted you to dive beyond the surface. He wanted you to uncover his mysteries. And he loved you so much. 

"Wait." Hyunjin pulls away, dazed and with unfocused eyes. He bites his lip. "Are you sure about this? Once you allow me to love you, I won't stop. I don't let go." You look up at him and smile. No matter how many times you tell him, it'll never be enough: he's so beautiful. But tonight, something is different. He's exactly how the universe wanted him to be. Exactly where the universe wanted him to be. So naturally, only poetry could describe the beauty of a man who had found his destiny.

"Make me you last love, Hyunjin." You plead, and his eyes fill with both admiration and tears.

"Oh, I will." He cradles you so gently, and yet so tightly. His long fingers are enveloping your face, his body is swallowing yours like the tide, and he kisses you, again and again. And with each one, you gain life, you gather courage, a new constellation is born inside of you. Astrologers could only dream of uncovering all those new-born stars.

He drags you into the middle of the pool, and guides your legs around his waist. He holds you with ease, and from this angle, when you look down at him all you see is joy. But he hides in your neck, and finds another happy place in there.

You rest your head on his shoulder and look up the sky. The moon rose to a higher position, and she looks so calm, so all-knowing as she beams on you. She knew what was going to happen already, and now she was grinning at you slyly.

"Can you see the moon from there?" Hyunjin asks you, and you hum.

"Mhm. But you can't, can you?" It's not like he's trying, his eyes are closed as he cradles you.

"No, just tell her I said hi." You laugh. You wonder just for how long, has the moon known Hyunjin's secret? "I've got my own night sky right here." He says, as he hugs you even tighter, squeezing you to his chest like you're his childhood teddy bear.

"Cheesy." You mutter, but you place a kiss just underneath his ear. That ear begins to burn, and then his whole face is red (that's why he's hiding it away) and Hyunjin thinks he'll never grow used to it. In fact, he promises himself he won't. He promises to always allow himself to be surprised by just how much you mean to him. Over and over again.

Minutes turn to hours, just like days always turned to years around Hyunjin. Eventually you climb out of the pool to not turn into raisins - but you still continue to be tangled with each other, making up for all the kisses you've missed for all those years you've kept each other at arm's length. It feels like a pipe dream to call him yours, to kiss his lips that felt like clouds, look into his eyes that filled with lightning, listen to the words filled with thunder. And yet, his heartbeat still spoke to you in calm waves-

You and Hyunjin jump from your seats at the sound of something loudly popping. You frantically look around for the sound, and you see Jihyo and Luna, holding a confetti tube towards you. The sparkly paper falls to the floor, while some are carried by the wind towards you.

"Congratulations!" The two cheer, and you can't help but snort. Where did they even get confetti from?

"Now that the cat's outta the bag, the asshole is out of the picture and you're finally dating the right guy-" Luna almost sounds like she's rapping while she rambles, and everyone carries amusement on their faces. "And this guy can stop whining in my ear about how much he wants you-" You turn towards Hyunjin in shock, and he tries to make himself small and hide. He fails. "We can finally have some nice, family fun!"

"I thought we agreed you'd let us have the pool tonight!" Hyunjin argues, but Luna tuts in response.

"So I can just watch you two make out from afar? Nah, I wanna see it in person." With the look of an almost psycho, Luna grabs your leg and pulls you into the pool with her. She splashes you wildly in the face, and soon Jihyo and Hyunjin join you in a water fight even a toddler would easily win.

After a while a whole lot of fun, you approach Jihyo for a light conversation while the other two are struggling to inflate a beach ball.

"Have you known for a long time?"

"About Hyunjin's feelings? No, it was Luna who knew. I didn't know until tonight, honestly."

Hyunjin has been confiding in Luna, it seems. She was the only one who knew his secret - or well, maybe she wasn't. You look up at the moon, and then back at Luna, and something seems to make you laugh.

It is very late into the night, and yet you are all still awake. It came to the point where you had to leave the water, but Luna stops in the middle of the hallway and blocks the path.

"Hey, didn't that girl teach you stuff about cleaning the pool and all?"

You didn't even remember her name by this point.

"Yeah, why?"

"So what cleaning supplies should one use, let's say, if the pool becomes dirty with... An entire luggage worth of clothes and stuff?"

"What?" Hyunjin asks, breaking into a wild laugh, but he feels as if he already knows what Luna is about to say.

"Let's throw David's stuff into the pool." You display a look of horror, but when you look at Hyunjin, you see him comically dash into the house.

You're too dazed to even register when the suitcase showed up in front of your face. All three of your peers attacked the zippers like wild hyenas, and soon your ex's clothes are sent flying into the pool.

"Even his underwear is ugly." Hyunjin says, crumpling it into a ball and throwing it as far as he could into the pool. "I'm gonna need hand sanitizer after this."

You start to enjoy it after a while. Sure, you still tell them to not throw anything electric or expensive in there, like his earphones or watch, but you are the one to chuck his toothbrush in the pool and watch it sink to the bottom.

"Revenge is best served wet, baby." Luna pretends to dust off her hands and leaves the scene of the crime with a deadly hair flip.

Giggling like a bunch of school girls, you part ways to go quickly shower the chlorine away from your bodies. Then you reunite, clad in your comfiest pj's, and cuddle to Hyunjin's chest to listen to the sound of the ocean waves.

"Angel?" He calls out to you, and you look at him with hazy eyes. "Would it be weird or overwhelming if I told you I love you?"

"No." You shake your head and giggle. It's not that it was new information to you, but it did hold a new meaning now. A meaning - you found - you were always craving to reciprocate. Why have you been searching for Hyunjin in all of those people, when he was right there with you, petting your hair and making you feel alive?

"And would it be weird or overwhelming if I said that to you every night?"

"No, I would like that actually." You reach up to kiss him. He welcomes it and chases after your lips, and it's such a new high, that you wish it to turn into a habit.

"Okay." He whispers. "I love you."

"I love you." You reply. You don't say 'me too', you don't say 'i love you too'. Because this is not an action that he does and you copy. No, you love him all on your own. It's so crazy, that you love him independently, and he loves you independently, and yet when you're put together, you form the same constellation.

It's a good thing Hyunjin locked the door, because somewhere around five in the morning you got woken up by loud banging on your door, your handle being shaken erratically and an array of swear words. Hyunjin woke up as well, and you both tried to stifle your giggles, because that night you heard swearwords and insults you didn't even know existed.

By afternoon, when you got out of your room, he was completely gone. Turns out he collected his clothes from the pool and left with them soaking in a garbage bag. Luna had snuck out in the morning to record a video of David, trying and failing repeatedly to fish out his clothes with the stick end of a broom. You laughed so hard it brought you to tears, and when you went outside to check, you saw the only thing left, was a chlorine infused toothbrush sitting sad and depressed at the bottom of the pool.

You blocked him and threw away the memory of him into the sea. You knew the sea would be mean to him, drown him out and silence him. Because the universe wanted someone else to love you.

The moon, the stars, and all the eight seas;

They whispered to you that you had found your destiny.

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[hoseoksluna]

ICHOR | jjk

pairing: idol!boyfriend!jungkook x f. reader

genre: fluff

word count: 2.4k

summary: after a bad day at work, you lose a sense of yourself and jungkook leads you right back to her.

warnings: crying, capitalism, death metaphors, sadness, jungkook is sweaty and is wearing that nike shirt he wore in his working out live, has fluffy hair!

note: hiii, bubbas, so this is fluff fic is partly for @frmisnow bc she inspired me to write this & i also want to make her feel better with this sacchariny-sweet jungkook, partly for me bc i genuinely wrote in detail about what i went through at work these past two days. and, also, for all you guys because i made you go through reading about such evil jungkook in my last berries fic. i hope you enjoy it, let me know what you think. here's to a bit of happiness in our lives *cheers with an imaginary glass of imaginary pink, glittery, strong, fairy alcohol*. <3

You used to be a goddess, the ichor in your veins carried the color of roses, glinted with flecks of gold that would radiate your skin from beneath, make any heads turn, especially the one you loved the most. Customers at work smiled upon seeing your cordial aura, close-knit even though they were mere strangers, preferred to go to you amidst the flock of your other colleagues around. They would become radiated just the same, joy so terribly evident on their faces as their smile would grow. They would frown upon seeing the state of you at this current moment—curled up on your bed while the heat of the beginning of the summer clings to your near bareness, coming through your wide opened windows, the white, translucent curtains billowing up and down in their strange, but magnolious dance. 

You’re not Aphrodite. You’re not Euphrosyne, the goddess of joy and mirth, either. 

You’re the slain fawn at their feet—for their very own feast and for the feast of those aforementioned customers, who stand behind the dryly bloodied cause of your death. 

Work was hell, to say the least. 

You always thought death was a kind embrace, not a tight clasp of doom around the nape of your neck, your mental strain and disquietude the half moon marks that ever so slowly deepen. You mimic the movement on the hem of the linen shirt you wore for the day, one that you were too drowsy to take off when you arrived at home, having only a slight wisp of an energy to rid yourself of the uncomfortable tightness of your jeans and crawl onto your bed, knees to chest, on your side. You bunch up the fabric in your fist, wrinkling it, but you hardly vanquish the cuts that your anxiety slashes on your skin. You thought it would alleviate you of your tenseness, but as it seems—it only worsened it. 

You don’t even have tears to shed. Wept them all out in your manager’s office while she harshly, yet calmly reprimanded you for your mistake and the gravity of the fact that you almost lost your precious job, that you can’t imagine living without, washed over you and pained you like a splash of salty water in your eyes. Wept them all out when you breathed in the crooked, paralyzed expression of disappointment in her face—and that’s the sole thing that emptied out your system of that ichor, wiped out your reputation of being a good, reliable employee that everybody liked. 

Now the next unfolding of your days spent at work shall be filled with silent judgements and secretive gossip, the big talk of the entire building—something that will hang by the strands of your hair for every head to turn to until something else comes along. Another topic, another fuck-up. That’s the face of modern capitalism, the absurdity of day-to-day normalcy its features, and you’re so sick, so repulsed to be staring at it every single day of your life that you yearn to not be anymore. 

Death has flattened over you, but has not finished its job. It was Dante who described the process of hell in his Divine Comedy and you hate him for the rotten pulchritude of his mind because you find yourself to be standing in the middle of inferno with no guide—no Virgil, no Beatrice—to hold your hand and lead you through this scalding maze. You’re all alone, your mistake carving the branches of the trees burning down in your hell over your burdened, heavy heart that has been longing for the company of another ever since you walked out of your manager’s office. 

Your face screws as another agonized emotion rises in you. You can’t stand your aloneness, can’t stand your burden—and before you realize what you’re doing, your fingers have already tapped on your boyfriend’s name in your history of calls. The screen of your phone is cool against the fever of your cheek and you rub your face harder against your duvet, staining the strawberry pattern with the particular tinge of your makeup, which must have been the color of your ichor. 

You wince, the rings prolonging in your ear, your impatience running thin. 

Then, your heart drops once you hear the broken whisper of your Beatrice, faintly, barely, which causes your heart to spread its longing. Damn iPhones and their bad service. 

“Jungkook?” you call out, nonsense coming through the other end—and you repeat his name until his voice smooths out, relief sinking in like a stone in a pond. 

It turns out you were exchanging each other’s names and the intimacy of it curls the smallest of smiles on your mouth. You miss him; you need him. 

“When are you coming home?” you ask, wishing to descend into the emitting waves of the call, slide through them until you spring to wherever he is, no matter how tired you are—you’re willing to cross the distance. 

You hear him turn on his blinker and your heart almost does it for you. 

“I’m driving home right now. I’ll be there in ten,” he says and your relief expands in your chest, taking a small weight off of your heart. You place your palm against it. 

“Okay.” 

A beat of silence. 

“Why do you sound so sad?” 

Your mouth curls downwards. “Something happened at work.” 

An inhale of breath. “Screw that, baby. I’ll be there in five, okay?” 

A whimper. “Okay, drive safe.” 

And your Beatrice didn’t lie to you. Soon, you hear the banging of the front door closing, the tossing of his keys and the prodding open of your shared bedroom door. The hastened footsteps, hefty on the floating floor, the squeak of the mattress as his knee dips on it and the glide of his hand up your thigh. All before you use the last of your strength to focus your swimming vision on him. 

Hearing him alone helped you take a step further in your inferno. 

And then you can smell him. The scent of sweat clinging to his favorite ivory Nike shirt, interlaced with his natural, poetic scent, creating something divine that blesses you with the strength to place your palm on top of his hand. Your coworkers hugged you earlier, clasped your hands in theirs in reassurement and more than welcome it, you absolutely despised it. Lingered in their affection only because you thought you should let yourself be consoled, for you know they care about you. But his touch… that’s not something you sense your body to want to run away from. On the contrary, it seems to be something that it’s missing. 

You can’t part the stream of your new tears with your other hand. 

You spill, completely. 

Jungkook coos, squeezing the bare flesh of your thigh as turns you onto your back and nudges himself between them, plopping his body on top of yours. And then, he’s kissing the place your undone shirt made for him, trailing his lips up your neck, where he stays, where he conjures a garden of fluttering gardenias, their tender petals tickling you. 

“What did they do to my princess?” he murmurs against your skin, his words muffled but heard clearly by your ears. You sob, your chest shuddering in violent staccatos against his, unable to settle, unable to speak. Jungkook lifts his small head and frowns, his thumb swiping your tears away while the rest of his four fingers cradle your cheek. You lean into the balmy safety of the realm of his palm, gaze fixed on the wrinkle between his brows, mouth letting out puffs of soft, gentle exhales. He kisses your chin, the corner of your mouth, the wetness of your other cheek—buries his nose into it, right beside yours, inhaling you, giving you fresh air to breathe in. “Don’t cry. I’m gonna decapitate them.” 

The whisper, the hand that parted the stream. You whimper and he steals the traces of your despondency, pecking the new, smooth surface, planting roses to bloom, its roots bestowing you with the ability of speech. 

Two sentences, two miles further in the inferno. Your burnt down trees are lost in the far distance, swallowed by the fire, yet the forest shows every sign of growing anew the longer Jungkook’s heart beats against your breast. 

He’s so benevolently patient with you, not rushing you with your explanation. It all the more drives you to disclose it to him—and you open your mouth to speak, your fingers following suit, helping you with your words as you drag them through the soft mop of his fluffy hair. 

“I made a mistake yesterday while closing up,” you croak out, licking your lips. Jungkook lifts himself onto his elbows, clutching your shoulders, keeping the close proximity intact. His warm grip is a stability you lean on, one you appreciate with every broken shard in you. “I did it five minutes earlier and somebody came in. I sent them away and they filed a complaint against me. They wrote an email to my manager and I… I almost lost my job.”

The wrinkle between his brows deepens and you thumb it, wishing it away. You don’t want to mar his beautiful face because of your foolishness; you want it to remain that soft ball of light that he always is, but then you realize you’re asking for the impossible. His mouth flattens, pity flashes across his round eyes, which helps you perceive that if he didn’t react like this, he wouldn’t love you—and his love is the air you breathe; his love is the ointment you need for your sadness. 

As if he heard you, he kisses you delicately and you sail—skip the purgatory and land in paradiso, a meadow of wildflowers overlooking a cliff that opens the restfulness of the sea, scattered with windswept petals of those lost blossoms, coloring the surface with pinks, whites and the greens of their leaves. 

“Did your manager yell at you?” Jungkook questions, his lips lifted a millimeter above yours, his thumbs fondling the fabric of your shirt upon your shoulders. 

“No, but she was very strict with me. Told me not to cry—”

His breath wafts over your face when he looks into your eyes, displeased. “She made you cry?” 

You cried because through her words you comprehended the gravity of your mistake and its repercussions, not because she deliberately used them to open the dam of your emotions. It’s precisely why she told you not to cry, giving you a hint of her perpetually nonexistent compassion. And you tell him. 

“No, she didn’t. She was very professional with me and made me realize what I did after I apologized. I cried because I was so scared of losing my job, of disappointing her and shit like that.” 

Jungkook purses his lips, shaking his head, curly strands rippling like the tremor of leaves. “She should’ve dropped it after you apologized. Five minutes is nothing, baby. You did nothing to deserve to be treated like that.” 

Your chest heaves, his love and reassurement sifting sand into your bloodstream, the color of ichor. “I know but… you know,” you trail off, indicating the realm of respect all peers must have for the management that you don’t really want to venture into, not when Jungkook had to deal with it as well in his music company. But unlike you, he broke out of its clutches. It cost him tears, frustration and weight loss, but now he’s a free bird of paradise. You don’t wish to make him remember his cage. 

Jungkook sighs. “Yeah, baby, I know, which is why I’m telling you that you didn’t deserve that.” 

Your chin quivers, the negative thoughts that wore you down in his absence returning at full speed. “It affects my mental health when I’m bad at my job.” 

Brows rounding upwards, his eyes flick to your chin, a glossy wetness coating them. He pecks it before he gazes into your irises. “But you’re not bad at your job. You just closed a few minutes earlier. You’re amazing at your job. You make people happy. I’ve seen it with my own eyes,” he says, meaning every word with the way he presses each one into your pupils. You feel its magnetism and you take it. “And I’m proud of you. Every day. You work so hard. Come home tired every day. Deal with people who aren’t always nice to you with kindness that I envy. I’m proud of you, you hear me? You didn’t make a mistake. You did good.”

And there it is, the stampede of your bloodstream—Jungkook has seeped the entirety of the sand until he emptied out his hand and your ichor charges forward, its light like a bud flaring open beneath your skin. And you're floating on that sea in paradiso, your braid adorned with the wet petals that swims back and forth to his arm that holds your body steady upon the surface, the names of the Greek goddesses lining every perimeter, sinking within. 

You’ve become them, all over again. 

“Thank you, Ggukie,” you whisper, running your hand through the front bangs of his hair, gripping them. It’s as if you’re holding the petals. “I needed to hear that.” 

He pouts, touched by the love name. “I know. You need to rest now after such an emotionally exhausting day. No more tears, okay?” 

You nod, feeling whole, feeling like you can face tomorrow with more courage. “Okay.” 

You pout, mimicking him, asking for a kiss and he gives it to you in that same delicate manner, plunging the entirety of the summer’s heat, molded by his hands, into you, making it bearable for you. 

Looks at you for a long time, after. Smiling. 

“You know, I didn’t take a shower after the gym for you,” he says, quirking a smile on your face.

You’re intimately acknowledged with the reason why, yet still you ask: “Why’s that?” 

He reciprocates the smile. “I thought you’d help me wash up. My muscles are sore and all. I lifted the double amount of your body weight.” 

You bite your lip. You’re willing to wash every inch of him with your utmost care. You deem he deserves it for enlivening you, but you’d much rather stay here, inhaling that dizzying scent of him. 

“I’ll do that, but let’s stay here for a little while.” 

Jungkook nods, kissing your jaw before he finds a comfortable place on your bosom, listening to the rush of your ichor, the sun rays upon the sea of that paradiso, inching you closer and closer to God. Augments the ending of that Divine Comedy. 

Doesn’t lead you to the final installment of death, but pushes you to life full of that brisk wind, the humming of the sea and the song of swaying wildflowers. 

Holds your hand. 

Doesn’t let go. 

𓂃 ౨ৎ LOVE-KISSED BABIES: @tkslovechild, @jjk7k, @parkinglot-nights, @bethvar, @Sexytholland, @yoongibaybee, @crystaleah,@fennecnco, @lil-kpopstan, @euphoricmyth.

© 2024 hoseoksluna, all rights reserved

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[natalchartnurtures]

PAC: Mitski, what about me is eternal like the.. moon?

I had so much fun doing this

~~~~~~~~~~~

Pile 1:

'Cause my love is mine, all mine I love mine, mine, mine Nothing in the world belongs to me But my love is mine, all mine, all mine

I'm sitting right in front of your cards in utter awe. I got goosebumps when I laid eyes on your cards, pile 1. Let me begin by saying this: you've seen some DARK and truly terrible times, haven't ya? Even as I say this, it feels like an understatement. There have been times when you were stripped down to bare bones, and you had to "grow back the rest of you." I apologize for the gruesome metaphor (but hey, I'm just the messenger; this ain't really coming from me :p). Maybe you've had to encounter times when you felt painfully lonely, stuck in your head and in your general life too, like your spirit was beaten down. Or maybe it felt as if the universe snatched away something you thought was incredibly precious? But I hear that it wasn't what you thought it was; that's why it had to go. You probably didn't see it that way at all, and THAT'S ALRIGHT because we don't have Spirit's perspective, now do we? I see that you really struggled to put yourself together after that somewhat 'impossible-seeming' loss. It seemed like it came outta left field.

BUT GUESS THE FUCK WHAT. You, my friend, took this PAIN and these fucked up times and turned it into a damn palace of gold. You read that right. What's eternal about you? Your alchemy. Your fire. Your willpower. Your ability to take life by the balls. Your refusal to let it beat you to dust. Your refusal to be small. Literal goosebumps, you feeling it yet? It's your connection to God/Source/Universe. Your faith. Your mastery of your mind, babe. Yeah. You've somehow mastered your mind in this process of putting yourself back together. Acknowledge that ish! 'Cause you really did do that.

Nothing can ever get you to stop dreaming, and much less trying to stop you from achieving them, love. You're a powerhouse of energy, and God bless anybody who ever underestimates that (you included side-eyeing you right now). Not you getting low key called out, haha.

Don't get me wrong, though; being a powerhouse of energy doesn't necessarily mean being in everybody's face trying to assert your dominance, y'know? It can look like silent crying in the middle of the night and waking up the next day determined to overcome the thing that made you cry the day before.

Your light is what's eternal about you. It never goes off. Like ever. Your dedication to learning and growing through whatever, and I mean WHATEVER, life throws your way is what will never die, sweetie. It's like a part of your essence at this point. I hope you're proud of that and know that it's what will bring you to your success in life, whatever that looks like for each one of you beautiful ass people reading this :)

Haha, that's so cute; I just heard Spirit go "you're going places, sweetheart" ><

And with that, let's end your FABULOUS, goosebumps-inducing (btw, I don't say that about just ANYTHING), and awe-inspiring reading here.

Thank you, pile 1, for sharing your energy with me today. I love you guys so, so much and… not gonna lie, I'm low key honored to have been in your presence today. Haha, see ya!

~~~~~~~~~~~

Pile 2:

My baby, here on earth Showed me what my heart was worth So, when it comes to be my turn Could you shine it down here for her?

My god, why is there so much happening as I tap into your energy, pile 2? And I mean it in a nice way, though. I heard T Swift's song "The Last Great American Dynasty" as I was shuffling for you, and I heard Spirit go, "she's sweet and salty," lol. We'll see how all that plays into the reading eventually.

The first thing I noticed was your incredible balance within your mind and heart. It's shocking. Maybe you've been working on getting these aspects of yours to agree with one another and balance each other out, or it's simply your personality, but… pile 2, this beautiful mind-heart balance is what's eternal about you, love. Your peace. Your calm. The childlike innocence of your heart blending seamlessly with your mind's unending curiosity for life. Your emotional intelligence. The way you flow… like water, I heard. Wow! I find that so amazing, ugh, like can we be friends, pile 2? T-T, 'cause I definitely need some of that in my life right now, not gonna lie, haha.

There's that AND then there's a whole other dimension to you where you give 'life of the party' vibes as well. OH, so maybe that's why I heard Spirit say "sweet and salty," like two very different things but produce a wonderful taste together. Complex. Addicting. You make people want to come back for more, pile 2. Mmmmmm! Love that!

You have this laid-back vibe to you as well that a lot of people in your life appreciate. I see that your ability to lighten anybody's day is what's eternal about you awwww. I heard "she's the sunshine of my life." UGH, this is too wholesome for my heart; please save me. You seem to really perk up people's day/week or just life in general. You give, like, Saggi vibes, bro. It doesn't matter if you have that in your chart, but it's just your soul. The eternal aspect of you feels bright, expansive, loving, and so vibrant in energy, my god. You've also got strong feminine energy too… you must be really good at attracting 'cause you're strong in your feminine energy AND you're chill and detached from it at the same time. Effortless manifester, master manifester are some words that come to mind as I describe this.

Your divinity is what's eternal about you. Your 'witchy vibes.' Your embodiment of your highest truth. Your commitment to maintaining this divine connection in your day-to-day. Bro, what's eternal about you is that you can turn any old mundane task/thing into something fun and magical and full of meaning and symbolism. You live life deep, and even though there aren't a whole lotta people who can join you there, you wouldn't have it any other way. It's your raw authenticity, babe. Circling back to "The Last Great American Dynasty" song, maybe you're like Rebekah that T Swift sings about, "the most shameless woman this town has ever seen." People tend to call raw, authentic women shameless, but you couldn't care less. You will forever do what you like 'cause you're a free-spirited divine mystic in the body of a teeny lil human. Love it.

That's all I have for you, pile 2. Thank you for spending time with me! I love you so much <3

~~~~~~~~~~~

Pile 3:

Moon, tell me if I could Send up my heart to you? So, when I die, which I must do Could it shine down here with you?

Ah, my divine activators. What's eternal about you? Your intensity. BS detection might as well be your middle name. Sherlock Holmes who? 'Cause you're the new detective in town, baby, sniffing out illusions, falsities, fake people, LIES, victim mentality. None of that runs free with you around, I'll tell you that. It's your capacity to hold divine truth, lovingly, which is INCREDIBLY hard, btw. You can't stand half-assed people and people who seem to not have their "heads screwed on straight." Lmao, what kinda people are you surrounded by, pile 3? Ooh, I heard that you're divinely planted where you are so you can activate a lot of people into awakening to their true selves, but it looks like nobody wants to actually awaken. Lmao.

-Side note: My heart goes out to you if you've been surrounded by really difficult and chaotic energies that bring you down a lot. That SUCKS so hard, bro. Been there myself too lately, and it's not a fun merry-go-round to co-exist with. Just keep being your amazing cool-ass self, ok? Things will work out eventually. You already intuitively feel that things will get better, so trust that feeling!-

If I could describe your energy, I would use the Phoenix rising from the ashes symbolism to do so. Ohhhhh, as I told you that, I saw a vision of T Swift's music video of "Look What You Made Me Do," where she comes out of the grave and sings, "Honey, I rose up from the dead, I do it all the time." I'm a fan, pile 3. Omg. That's some badass ballsy energy, and I'm so here for it right now. You're the epitome of what psychological death and rebirth looks like. You're the textbook definition. And THAT'S what's eternal about you. No matter where you are or what you end up doing in life, you'll always be able to "rise up from the dead" and do it iconically too. Haha, I literally heard that. Lmao. This ability of yours is an extension of the greater aspect of you - your higher self. Whoa… I just heard you've had this ability for lifetimes and you will take it strongly with you to the next ones as well. Powerful. It's etched in your soul, pile 3. You know what you want and how to get it, even if not immediately; you always do eventually. It's the security you possess within yourself that's eternal, love. Nothing can really shake you at this point. Lmao. You've got a strong-ass foundation.

-Side note: I'm really seeing a healed and fully realized root chakra for you. If you haven't gotten there yet, you're well on your way! Good job! Root chakra work is the most brutal, btw, so… you really have my respect. Haha, moving on-

You have warrior energy present quietly in your personality as well. You give spiritual warrior vibes. You don't prefer to live in it 24/7; it's simply something you tap into when a situation calls for it. Otherwise, I see you being quite heart-centered, full of love, looking at the world with rose-colored glasses. Your inner child is what's eternal about you. Your divine sensitivity and your capacity to hold your emotions without judgment and live big from a place of heart. You embody the energy of water in my eyes, tbh. Life-giving but also destructive if need be, and there's absolutely nothing weak about water. Phew. You are eternal as the oceans are.

Ahhh, pile 3, that was sooo much fun! Thanks for stopping by, and I love you soooo much!

~~~~~~~~~~~

[eighties-goth-suicide-note]

🎀

♥️

🔮

🌘

☂️

🍒

🍓

🥩

🥀

🌸

🌺

💖

💘

💌

💋

⛓️

🔪

answer to every single one or im using the last emoji to unalive myself

Hello my little Dove ♡︎

🎀 - How did you meet your Darling?

Well. . . . we met on a dating app ^___^' not our proudest fact but ... we fell in eachother personalities and were in a 3 day online relationship before seeing eachother!! thats so adorable

♥️- What's your favorite thing about your darling?

Beutiful, long eyelashes....and ocean blue eyes.. *blushes cutely* I also think that you have such kind and delicate soul but also the other half is filled with pure insanity and possesivness!!

🔮- What is your ideal date?

I just need your presence Darling, but im weak for forest, picnic dates, it would be so nice to admire the beauty of the nature with you! Juts imagine how lovely the birds would sing just for us, lonely in the woods. I have very good orientation in field, so taking you to a meadow deep in the forest wouldn't be a problem for me. We would have a delectable picnic with pastries I prepared all by myself and then I would try to paint you or play a song for you!! I also love museum dates . . . im a sucker for culture, I just find humans so interesing, I can watch paintings and wander what was the point behind it? Or watch some artifacts and imagine people, just like us, but many years ago living their little lives! Just like us now, we are also living little lives that take part in big history ! Ahhhh I can ramble for you for hours ! (´｡• ω •｡`)'

🌔- What is your ideal yandere/darling scenario?

I am drolling everyday at the thought of getting creepy letters.. .. ones are full of pure love, how my stalker wants to marry me, thinks im beautiful porcelain doll, they need me like oxygen, other with just lustful disgusting thoughts!! and the last - possesive, dangerous ones!! How im being stalked, how they love taking pictures of me, how they will kill all tthe people i talk to!! nhh g h g hh being followed would be sooo sooo scary i would be sooo terrifed that i would stay in my room and and then you would break into it because you will miss me soo much!!.. also kidnapping.. heh do i need to say more..

for me being yandere, i would find your scared face so adorable! You cant even imagine how awful i can get! i play the role of weak, petite doll for a reason, one day i will lock you up in my basemen . . . or maybe just put collar on you and chain you to the wall so i can see you right after entering living room. . . ahhh... . . to have my little pet waiting for me after a long day . . . i could do anything i want, the good and the bad, , that would be so fun to have you all defendless.. i could just put knife to your neck, scream at you . . ohh ho i would love that salty tears!! I would lick them off without second thought. And you would succumb to all my orders!!! you will be my pet and i will be your master ^__^ But with my harsh traning.. comes rewards, you will be the one reciving attention from me, i would shower you with kisses, make you homemade meals to watch your health ! It would be our little secret. I will be the source of all your happiness, sorrow and fear.

☂️- Do you have a rainy day plan for you and your darling for when you're stuck inside?

My darling playing brawl stars and hugged in his arm reading some good book and drinking hot tea ! (〃＾▽＾〃)

🍒- What are your yandere types (if you have them)?

I have them all in my bio silly... . but im both sadistic and masohistic... it just depends how im feeling :3

🍓- What is your favorite yandere trope or stereotype?

STALKER X VICTIM, the obsessive possesive ones, or when darling gets mad at yandere and they start crying, begging for forgivness on knees mnnn.

🥩- What is your favorite metaphor for love?

“The moon is beautiful, isn't it?”  ִֶָ☾ ⟡ ݁₊

🥀- What would you gift your darling for a special occasion?

lego. or maybe some game... or flowers..because a beautiful boy like you deserve whole bouqet!

🌸- What is your least favorite yandere trope or stereotype?

really dense/oblivious love interests.. i like when yan hides for beggining, sends anonymous signs, ther darling gets so paranoid and then - yan catches them like a wild animal ^__^

🌺- What are you and your darlings respective aesthetics?

I adore gothic, dark academia, dark aesthetic... and my bf is just geek >w<

💖- Would you donate your organs to your darling if needed?

YES. But im afraid im to small for him >___<

💘- Do you have a future plan for you and your darling?

Yes, I can wait for you to finally be in the same uni as me and live together my love :3

💌- What was your first introduction to the yandere community/how did you find out you were a yandere?

Since I can remember I was a fan of dark fiction, I remember I found a stalker au usuk.... YES I WAS A HETALIA FAN. and also THE pregame saiouma fanfics... i have cluster B disorder so intense feelings for my favorite person was always a thing, but before my little lamb it was only platonic.

💋 - What is your love language?

Acts of service? Im busy girl so I always get happy when someone does little things for me. Quality time, I want to spend every second building great memories. Also getting long messages about devotion to me.

⛓️- What would break you?

Getting cheated on.

🔪- How far would you go to express your love?

Im capable of hurting myself or deleting everyone from my life just for one person. ( ❛ᴗ❛ )

Ahhh it got longer than i thought, I hope you enjoyed reading all of this sweetheart!! I hope you will send me more anons or repost more insane things i wuv you (〃＾▽＾〃)

[kuschelkissen]

reverse unpopular opinion: nagano trio

Ppl send topics and instead of salt or hot takes, you MUST talk abt smth you like about it. Good excuse to gush abt smth you already love, OR think and find smth positive to say. 

LMAO what have you done, as if I'm not already gushing over them at any given time during the day 😂

Long post under cut, so you can skip more easily

I'm not even gonna talk about the shipping side of them because you see me gushing over that all the time anyway.

(Plus, I have a metaphorical goldfish brain, and I don't even remember how it all started 😅)

So.

What is there NOT to like about them??

I really love their overall dynamic. All three of them, but also the individual pairs.

It's not really stated, but in my head, they're all childhood friends. Kansuke and Yui are confirmed to be, and Kansuke and Taka'aki... kinda? They've canonically known each other since grade school and always competed with each other, established to be "rivals" since then. So it's reasonable to assume that all three of them spent at least some time together, right?.

(And they still do, look at them hanging out together after work.)

(They're on a date)

I love their bickering and teasing.

Yui calling Kansuke "Kan-chan", and when he objects, she goes: "Yeah, yeah, inspector Yamato 😉", clearly not taking him seriously (and he knows it. Just look at him "=_=").

Then you have Taka'aki mocking Kansuke for being so obvious in his plan of helping him get back to headquarters. "I would have done the same for you, but I would've been way more subtle about it." - "Yeah you know what, you can stay here and rot for all I care! =_="

Both of them are teasing Kansuke in the woodpecker episode about the bad plan of Yamamoto, just for him to go "?? It's not MY plan, so why are you acting like it is??" (Look at their faces, man, Taka'aki looks so playful 😂)

And Kansuke is overall just... Kansuke. 😅 The first scene with him is yelling at Yui, and more or less the first scene with Taka'aki is him basically telling him to drop dead (and boy, does he look HURT by that??). AND YET??

Yet, it is very obvious that he cares for both of them. They all do.

In their first case, Yui throws herself in the way of a bullet to protect Kansuke after he tried to protect her first (I think this is anime only).

Kansuke tells her that he's gonna wait for her to return to him the police.

Kansuke brought Conan to the Red Wall case not to help him, but so Taka'aki could solve it with his help and then return to HQ (which in the end was useless because Taka'aki actually cracked the message before anyone else lol).

We find out that Taka'aki went against all orders to find Kansuke, who had been declared dead, and got demoted because of that (he dashed to his support...).

Kansuke was ready to throw himself into a house completely ENGULFED in flames to save Taka'aki from death. And Yui DID throw herself into those flames! (still salty that they didn't show us how she rescued him)

You have Kansuke and Taka'aki communicating completely nonverbal on more than one occasion.

And then of course we have all the tragedies surrounding them.

The death of Kai Kuroto, Yui finding his dead body. Kansuke going missing on the search for his murder, declared dead, then found again in a coma, with his eye lost and leg damaged in undisclosed way (they hint that it's reversible in the Woodpecker case (Manga only), but who knows). Taka'aki getting demoted after throwing himself into the search for Kansuke, Yui on the other hand getting married to a suspect to further investigate Kai's murder.

And do I even have to mention the whole Family-murder past for Taka'aki?? Imagine coming home at 13 (?14?) from summer camp and finding your parents brutally murdered and your little brother traumatised (and we know he's only still alive because the murderer thought he'd lead him to his (dead) daughter one day! So it could've ended even worse!), then being separated from your brother by long distance (I checked, it's about a 3h ride by train from Nagano city to Tokyo.), AND THEN YOUR LITTLE BROTHER IS ALSO KILLED WHILE UNDERCOVER?? Give that man a fucking break!!

Also love how all of them had been a crime suspect at least once lol

And appart from all of that, I just love how the Trio just... accepts that Conan is ... different. There are no questions asked when he storms onto the crime scene, they'll let him watch the gruesome surveillance videos, no big deal, they overall just... treat him like an equal?

I mean?! In their second appearance, Kansuke and Yui go all the way to Tokyo just to get him on the case! Sure, officially they get Kogoro, but Yui outright tells Conan that Kansuke came to get him!

I also just love how they can keep up with him. Sure, you have Conan making hints for the other cops, too, and them then figuring things out, but with the Nagano Trio, they often figure out things ALONGSIDE of Conan, getting the same ideas, etc (well, Taka'aki and Kansuke at least, Yui only did that once in her debut episode you can blame Aoyama for sidelining his female characters once again) and like I said, I think Taka'aki in the Red Wall case is one of the very, VERY few occasions of someone cracking a code BEFORE Conan. I love it?! They're so fucking smart!

So... yeah?? I think I'm done gushing. For now. Insert Marge Simpson Meme, I just think they're neat??

And imagining them as a throuple makes it all so much funnier.

[faiakishi]

im back with a game of thrones update

after watching through a lot of the show very quickly i have two episodes left, which are the ive heard are absolutely terrible and are the reason my dad (who says season 1-4 are almost perfect television and a great adaptation) hates the show so much. my mom and i have been pointing out dumb things while watching (such as lady mormont being shown turning into a white walker, then being shown on a funeral pyre despite literally every white walker shattering??) but ive still heard that the dumbest and worst things are in these last two episodes.

as curious as i am to see the "terrible ending" ive heard so much about im not really looking forward to whatever these episodes have in store

I will admit that my memory of that episode is hazy due to traumatically blocking most of it out, but it was just the white walkers who shattered, right? White walkers are different from wights. White walkers are seemingly live people turned into whatever they are now, and presumably can still 'grow up' as it's shown that Craster's sons all become white walkers themselves. Wights are reanimated corpses-unintelligent, fragile, and decaying. Lyanna Mormont became a wight. And I think they all just collapsed at the end of it. So...that part at least was not a plot hole.

The dead/survived ratio in the Battle of the Long Night was just fucking ridiculous. Yes, it was crazy and random and tons of people died, but no one really important. Pretty much just everyone the writers didn't really have more material for and wanted to justify getting rid of. Jorah's unrequited love for Daenerys? Doesn't matter anymore! Theon? His redemption arc was over anyway! Ed Tollett being irrelevant now that Jon is a king and there are no POV characters in the Watch anymore? That's cool, he can just die! Beric Dondarrion-okay, I am STILL salty about what they did with him, he's already dead in the books but (and this is a spoiler but I'm trying to encourage you to read the books) he dies bring Catelyn Tully back to life, who then takes his place as Lady Stoneheart at the head of the Brotherhood Without Banners. Meanwhile fucking Sam survives. Don't get me wrong, I love Sam, but how he's portrayed in the show-mf would not have lived. They tried to make it a GRRM bloodbath but critically misunderstood what he did to make his deaths feel so brutal and realistic.

I will say, as much as I would have loved little Lyanna living happily ever after as her badass self-killing a zombie giant while having the life crushed out of her was a death worthy of her. And this is Game of Thrones, so honestly that's as much as you can hope for.

One of the places-I mean, there are many places D&D went wrong, but one of the big ones I think was the decision to make the Long Night a secondary plot point and treat the conquering of King's Landing as the real end battle. Germ has likened the white walkers and the army of the dead to climate change and the advance of the Night King during the War of Five Kings is very much a political metaphor-people are fighting over something dumb like who gets a chair while the real threat goes unheeded, and when it arrives it will not care who sits what throne. Rushing through that just to get back to 'who gets the Iron Throne' is profoundly missing the whole point.

Really, Germ first thought the novels would be a trilogy. The first book detailing the War of Five Kings and the birth of Dany's dragons and her rise to power, Book 2 being Dany returning to Westeros and the ensuing conflicts that will cause, and Book 3 being the war against the 'real' enemy. We aren't even through Book 1.

[choccy-zefirka]

Niamh and her sad husband are back babey!!

Cleaned up and updated this old fic now that I am on the Zevlor train again!

Summary:

A Githyanki raised on Toril by druids that found her as a hatchling, Niamh often appears too soft to her companions, while the people that she meets on her travels have a pre-conceived notion that her kind are Evil-aligned monsters. As far as she is concerned, though, the dark lure of the Ilithid infection makes her potentially more evil than an average Githyanki. At least Lae'Zel's traditional upbringing grants her the discipline to resist; what does Niamh have, with a childhood spent in idyllic groves cuddling woodland creatures? Thus, riddled with self-doubt, she has a heart-to-heart conversation with Zevlor.

(Spoilery side note: Niamh sure has a lot of thoughts about the lady looking to obtain a Githyanki egg so that the Society of Brilliance can raise it "in civilization" — because she herself was taken in as a homeless foundling, not stolen from her people for a social experiment to decide whether she is an inherently violent savage).

And now for the fic itself!

"Once again," Niamh says. "I apologize."

Her voice crawls, half-smothered, from the innermost depths of her narrow, bony chest. Her pale-blue eyes are wide, and her needle pupils swim in splashing brine. Like she is gazing out of twin salty lakes.

At the bottom of one of these lakes, something dark lurks. Twitching. Undulating. Agitated.

"For my companion's... forcefulness."

Lae'Zel is well out of earshot now, very skeptically appraising the wares of the local blacksmith — but Niamh's shoulders still rise tensely, and she shudders like she is being turned into a cone of cold.

"And for what it's worth... I deeply regret that my kin killed your friend on the road. I think you may have startled them. They may have thought they needed to act in self-defense. They are not used to this realm; it confuses them — and confusion makes you act out on pure reflex. Not that —"

She swallows forcefully.

"Not that it excuses what they did — but please, please understand that they are not..."

Her shoulder relax somewhat, and her lanky bright-yellow arms, all awkward angles, churn the air in frustration, as she searches for an appropriate metaphor. "Not walking clots of evil. Not like —"

The shadow in her eye coils, almost threatening to burst out to the surface, and then retreats. She exhales, defeated.

"I truly mean you no harm, Zorru. None of my companions do. We just want you to help us, like we helped your people at the gate. If you could just... show me on the map where — "

The young Tiefling's broad face drips with sweat, just like the cave walls drip with trickling water. He attempts to backtrack, but he has nowhere left to go. Lae'Zel backed him in a corner, and Niamh's attempts to butter him up afterwards have not exactly left him with an escape route.

As he stumbles, not seeing, not looking anywhere except at Niamh's unfamiliar, alien face — yellow as a toad, he'd told his fellow refugees, and twice as ugly — he trips over an open trunk that someone must have dragged out for packing. With an awkward flop, he loses balance, and falls right in.

His behind gets firmly lodged into the trunk's wooden frame. But even in this ridiculous position — which draws a sympathetic tongue click from Gale, a long, exasperated sigh from Shadowheart, and a snort from Astarion — he continues pointing at Niamh with a shaking, accusatory finger.

"You didn't fight those goblins to help us! You just thirsted for blood!"

Niamh freezes. Her pupils shrink to barely visible scratches, and her yellow fists clench, a bird curling up its feet.

Behind her back, Astarion perks up, with a spark of curiosity in his bruised ruby eyes. But if he expects Niamh to let Zorru know... from experience that yes, yes she does thirst for blood — the way Lae'Zel would have done — he is in for a disappointment.

Niamh does not lay a finger on Zorru. Just as she never did on anyone else who spat insults at her (which has to be about the entire population of Faerun). Instead, she turns sharply on her heels, with her long sleek ponytail — dyed a cheerful pink that Lae'Zel often wrinkles her nose at — whipping after her.

"I'll be right back," she says, before vanishing deeper into the cave.

"She has gone to cry again, hasn't she," Shadowheart flat-tones wearily. 'I am astonished that she has managed to survive this long. How it is even possible for someone to be both this brave and this... mushy?"

"Ah, but she is brave, isn't she," Gale points out, after he pulls Zorru back to his feet with a flourish of his wrist and a spark of magic. "Remember how she rushed in to save that boy from the harpies? Or faced off Kagha and those dubious friends of hers!"

Astarion pouts.

"I am still waiting for the moment when we all find out it was all a cunning ruse, and our little —" He waggles his hand dismissively. "Little squirrel-taming, brat-coddling forest princess shows us how pretty her teeth are... By ripping out someone's throat."

"You'll have to wait a really long time, then," Shadowheart says, quirking an eyebrow.

She is not wrong.

When Niamh vanishes out of sight, ducking under the carved stone panel that separates the larger cave from the more secluded quarters of the Tieflings' leader, her mushiness increases tenfold.

Her eyes are not just watering now. They are streaming.

The sobs envelop her, unrestrained and overpowering. But she pushes through them, forcing herself to stride across the makeshift study on the panel's other side.

The Tiefling within is busy poring over scout reports, with his forehead creased in concentration. When he finally looks up at her approach, his brows fly up in concern.

"Is anything the matter?" he asks, swerving around his desk to come closer to Niamh. "Is it Kagha again?"

"No, I just —"

Niamh takes a hiccuping breath and wipes her face with the back of her hand.

"I suddenly realized I never thanked you."

He clears his throat, looking rather sheepish.

"Well, there is not really much to thank me for. I wish I had been more hospitable to you and your companions. But in order to share a home, one needs to have a home, and well. You can see for yourself."

"No, it's not that."

Niamh's voice cracks again, while the Tiefling watches her in silence.

He does extend one hand to her... Uncertainly. As if he might have embraced her, but does not quite recall how it is done.

"When Aradin spat at me, back when we'd just met, you told him to show me some respect. It's not... Not the usual treatment that I've gotten used to since leaving home."

She dips her head and casts her lake-blue eyes down at her fingers, which pick relentlessly at the fraying padding of her gilded green robes.

"You would think I am a devotee of Ilmater, from how often my tears overwhelm me. And while I have always been... emotional, I am actually sworn to Sylvanus. Like the druids here, and like my... my adoptive parents. They found me in the wilderness when I was but a hatchling. Lost and confused, the cracked shell still stuck to my back. Too young to explain where I came from or how I got separated from..."

She lowers her voice in gentle reverence.

"From my creche."

Her fingers lock into fists again, and she looks up.

"I have never been to the Astral Plane, to my kind's home... I have never even met another like me, before Lae'Zel. I was raised in a Circle not unlike this one. The druids encouraged me to read, to try any skills I was curious about, to... to express myself. And they were not really afraid of me — because they were used to having me around since I was a toddler. But ever since I ventured a little bit further from home, my attempts to... to interact with anyone other than animals have become rather..."

She reaches for him, as tentatively as he for her. For a moment, their fingertips meet.

Then she withdraws, her serrated ear tips turning a shade of peach.

"My little group has been brought together by a certain... shared hardship. Aside from my companions, you were the first person who did not try to flee, or to attack me, the moment I drew breath in their presence. It's just... It has been exhausting. Stopping to persuade any stranger that I am not about to eat them. Especially since I am more like them than they realize."

She shakes her head, her hair flying in a pink whirlwind around her again.

"No, that's not right. I know I am not better than other Githyanki for having ventured beyond my creche. If anything, I am more lost, more unsure. Lae'Zel is much worthier of this than I ever will be, but I — I also want to know more about my people. To travel among the stars like they do. Maybe... Ride a dragon some day? Do dragons respond to Speak with Animals?"

She chuckles awkwardly at this clumsy levity, and the corners of the Tiefling's mouth readily move upwards... With the least effort he has made so far.

The peachy tint now slowly spreads to Niamh's cheeks.

"Anyway. I swear there was a point to all of this. I — I refuse to believe that the Githyanki are — that we are — as evil as people think, just from looking at us."

The Tiefling exhales the tiniest of "Oh"s, and finally bridges the remaining distance between the two of them. He does not embrace Niamh, not quite; but he does squeeze her shoulder.

"I understand. And if any of my people made you feel unwelcome, I will talk to them. Sternly. They ought to know better than this."

Niamh clasps her own hand, lightly, around his wrist, and her large, low-set mouth stretches into a smile.

"Thank you —"

She her tongue stumbles, heavy and clumsy, over his name. Even though he introduced himself the moment he had breath enough in his lungs, after fighting off goblins and screaming at Aradin — she is still too awkward to address him as... As a friend.

"Zevlor. Perhaps... Perhaps your people will understand after we put an end to the goblins once and for all, and return with Halsin. My companions think that I am dallying too much; putting our own journey on pause to slay every monster. But when you yourself toe the line of… of monsterhood, you have to go that extra mile to prove yourself."

Still not letting her go, Zevlor fixes his eyes on hers.

They stand like this for a few moments longer, as the world slowly fades back, and neither flinches under the other's gaze. Not even when golden flames — shimmering, scorching fragments of Avernus — dance within his eyes. Not when the slithering shadow coils and uncoils in hers.

"If between the two of us, someone has to be a monster," he says softly, "That is certainly not you."

And when she finally steps away, her eyes are dry and bright, and her posture is firm and assured.

[bleep-blop-lizard-hop]

WARRIOR IS BACK!!!

May favorite show is back! So many thoughts and Feelings! Just gonna throw this out into the void!

Warrior S3E1-3

Ah Toy/Nellie/Lai—As always, gotta start with my fave girl and her wife! It’s been only 2 months since season 2 so she hasn’t fully healed yet. She’s been spending a lot more time at Nellie’s vineyard. Those two and Lai make such an adorable little family! After all she’s been through, Ah Toy deserve some love and happiness. Alas, it’s not easy being an interracial gay relationship at this time. The vineyard was their safe space where they could be together freely, until Douglas Dickhead barged in. This guy clearly do not understand the concept of “no”.   He’s still salty he got rejected by a lesbian lmao. It was incredibly painful to see the destruction of the vineyard, though the fight was awesome. Shotgun Nellie, let’s gooo! Love the other girls fighting back too! That one motherfucker with the whip! Lai saving her mom! I really hope they can get through this and get revenge on those assholes. I wouldn’t forgive the writers for pulling a bury your gays during Pride Month.

Hop Wei—Young Jun and Ah Sahm are still on thin ice with each other. Poor lovable Hong gets to play the peacemaker in the middle. He also gets some loving this season, good for him! Business is bad because of extra police presence and racist laws being enforced. YJ going off on that old man was not a good look, ouch. This new money printing scheme will only lead to trouble later on. I also think it’s an important metaphor about money and power being the tools of hatred and inequality. Ah Sahm has a new LI named Yan Mi, who doesn’t put up with his bullshit. I like her fire. Ah Sahm is a feminist for dating strong women who drag the shit out of him. He’s also struggling with being a gangster or a hero for his people. Also his relationship with Mai Ling and YJ. 

Long Zhii—Mai Ling seems to be the only one who’s winning right now. Her alliance with Buckley has protected her Tong from the police raids. Now she’s absorbing other Tongs and expanding her influence outside of Chinatown. It’s interesting seeing a different side of her while interacting with the rich white ladies. It brings up the idea of assimilation into white society for acceptance, which often isn’t true. Also the eagerness of white people to consume Trauma Porn from POC. Mai Ling is covertly manipulating them, but it’s possible they can turn on her just like that. I think she might have learn a very hard lesson later on. Also why is she so impressed with that fugly pink dress??? Have you SEEN your wardrobe on this show?? Also Li Yong getting more depth and his friendship with new character Kon Pak(?). It kind of remind me of the relationship between YJ and Ah Sahm. He’s already whispering into Li Yongs ear about being leader of the Long Zhii. Their fight scene in episode 2 was dope! Shoutout to the legend Brett Chen, lead stunt coordinator for the show! Coordinating your own death must be fun lol.

Chao being Chao as usual lol. Zing’s gonna be after him tho.

Finally, a lot of new characters to shake things up this season. I love the show but I wish  it would have 90% less screen time for the racist white people, as “complex” as they are. 

Getting 3 episodes after 3 fucking years is amazing! Now I just have to wait for episode 4 😭

[storiesofsvu]

happy thursday! thoughts under the cut!

Okay, here we go! we’re back!! We’re BACK!!

And for some reason citytv is finally airing them in a more correct order, though mine thinks I’m on the east coast and is starting now. Mothership first so we all know I might not pay too much attention.

Woof what a cold open…

Jesus christ why is it always Hudson U

Who’s this new detective? Did we get rid of one of the white men I didn’t like? Lol. Oh.. we did… good lol.

Det shaw is so fucking hot.

Nov 10th?? Don’t they usually keep the time stamps pretty accurate to when they air?

Uugggghhh Samantha I have missed yoooouuuu. Glad to see she’s handling the arraignment herself this time, let’s give her more of that pls.

God this chloe girl’s annoying

That stiletto tape holder on sam’s desk came from rita, I know it in my soul. (it also came with a custom pair of manolos…)

Oh shit…

Yeah I dunno how I feel about this new cop either…

Ugh I just love that maroon suit

**

Svu time

BABY BENSON!!!!!!!!!!

Okay I like starting s25 off like this.

Loving that liv is back in her black nail polish era. It’s prime

Velasco being the one of the squad without his own kids/being the youngest and being the one dunked with babysitting duty and loving every moment of it is perfection.

Omg all of them fighting over the baby. lol.

Where tf are all the rest of the carisi’s? or amanda’s mom? Isn’t she in nyc now??

“maybe we could adopt each other…he could use a brother, too many sisters LOL omg noah

I’m not saying liv should’ve like, pulled a u-turn and immediately gone after the van, esp with noah in the car, but she knew in her gut something was off, memorizing a plate number probably would’ve been a good idea.

ALSO WHILE WE’RE HERE. I’M FUCKING SALTY ABOUT CHURLISH. WHAT THE FUCK. (especially if there isn’t a single mention of her in this episode/where she’s gone.)

Oh Velasco… baby boi, I have missed you

Does Bruno have a medical alert bracelet on? And if so is that his or is that the actors?

Okay, at least Velasco was smart enough to keep hands on the perp instead of letting him run off like they normally do.

What the FUCK is going on?

Why am I still watching this show? LOL

 Okay, see, this is the kind of amanda content I want to see, her popping up every so often in her professor role/mother/wife role, or just showing up to give carisi lunch kinda thing, not full time, not back on the force cause ESP after having a third kid there’s no way she’s coming back to be a cop.

The way olivia didn’t even bother to run cause she knew he wasn’t going far LOL, just all “bro, you’re gonna hurt yourself, and don’t make me hurt you…”

Okay but is olivia wearing the bracelet that she found in the van? (cause that should be in an evidence bag) or is she wearing one from one of the dolls? (cause that should also be evidence? And is lowkey weird…)

Have I just missed them or have there not been any/a lot of the dun-dun’s/time stamps, cause like…how long has madi been missing? How long have we been looking for her cause there’s no way that they kidnap her, make her into a doll, and make THAT many of them and produce them/that many people bought them in like a day or two….

Okay… we’re lacking detectives, with muncy and churlish gone is this new blonde gonna be joining the team? Will she last more than one season on the show?

God the politics side of jobs like this are infuriating

Okay imma assume that we’re gonna retouch on the case next week?  Cause that REALLY wasn’t a solid wrap up, like I get the metaphorical idea to it, but that coulda been done so much better.

Episode was meh overall.

*

OC time, yay! It really is playing them in order. Now if only the subtitles would fucking work. I’m so congested too, that’s not helping lol.

This theme song is the best out of all of them and I will die on this hill.

Oh right, we’re diving into fucking AI shit. It honestly better end up being a bad thing cause AI will destroy the film industry…

Omg bobby. I love you so much. God the cast of this show is all so incredible.

“god I love not being the boss” LOL

“welcome back detective ive missed you too. Can we take a breath and try that again.” Bell.. seriously… I fucking love you. How v Donnelly of her.

I absolutely love that bell isn’t afraid to call stabler on his shit. Like she is constantly reminding him that *she’s* the boss and we stan her for it.

The writing on this show is SO much better jfc. Jet all “that’s artificial intelligence.” To stabler lolololol

UNDERCOVER JET IS SO FUCKING HOT OMG. And like… ALWAYS not just now, but woof.

If they don’t start diving into more of bell’s personal life this season I will riot. Like, we’ve got out first main cast openly queer character on the show and all they’ve done is break up her marriage and family and rarely touch on it again. Like, does she even get to see her son? (son, right lol) does she ever talk to denise? Are they friendly? Can we PLS see her start to branch out and date again to get some fucking representation cause fuck knows we’re not getting it anywhere else in this universe.

Omg not the piece of fucking duct tape over the apple logo on the back of this dude’s computer LOL.

What was that little shoulder touch? And why was there so much focus on it?? Sus

“you’re just gonna walk into that beehive” ma’am… this is Elliot we’re talking about. You’ve known him three years now, you should know he likes to play by the seat of his pants. AND THE FIRST THING HE DOES IS MAKE DIRECT EYE CONTACT WITH SOMEONE WHO LOOKS IN CHARGE?! DUDE. You’re dumb

Bobby and jet comforting each other and finding that comfort/coping with jamie’s death by fucking each other honestly makes perfect sense.

Okay, as much as I don’t ship eo and absolutely do not want it to be canon, I am thankful for more little mentions of the characters on the other shows. Like it didn’t make sense to bring back Elliot and have all the crossovers that we got and then pretend like they didn’t talk or keep up with what the other was doing in the eps that weren’t crossovers.

Okay. Now that’s done.

Fun fact: randall, this brother that we’re going to meet I now assume last week is being played by Jamie Gray Hyder’s husband. Cause like, I was suuuuper surprised to see Jamie at the 25th anniversary party, like, truly shocked that she would show up until I found this out LOL.

Honestly… SVU was the weak link of the premiers. If we had gotten more cute personal moments at the beginning with the baptism then it would jump up but we barely got any. It really seemed like a two part-er episode and I don’t think it is, or at least not one that will be continued next week. Either way, it was kinda meh.

[rk-tmblr]

“Is there a place for me in your heart?”

NOTE: Another little spoiler of a work I'm drafting...

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

The flick of the lighter echoed through the salty air and then the fizzing of the cigarette's burning tip shone warmly against the dark blue landscape of the traffic city below her. She took a puff with her eyes closed, waiting for him to fall in his step and coming close. Next to where her elbows stood on the cold rail, Iwaizumi put a glass of water. Crystal clear, it looked like a diamond under the moonlight rays.

"Do you want me to put it out?" she asked while shifting the cigarette away from him, so it couldn't disturb him too much with its smoke.

"Do what you want, I know it's your choice to make," he replied politely, "But I have to tell you that I don't like you to smoke because it's bad for your health," there couldn't help but lecture her gently, "This doesn't mean you're disappointing me, you're not a disappointment."

"Mmh... Seems like the psychology lessons you had were pretty good," she hummed, smiling slightly behind another puff. 

"They were, but I must admit I had also a good observing friend who liked psychology at high school," he shared the little knowing smile. 

"Yeah?" she chuckled softly, "So you're not here to scold me like a child, are you, Hajime?"

He sighed and leaned on the rail too, glancing over the LA skyscrapers and orange-colored lights of its streets, he thought how to ask properly and she let him do that smoking quietly beside him. 

"You see it too, don't you?" he hated hitting around the bush but he couldn't middle in his friends' affaires at the same time, so it was the only way out.

"I'll lie if I say I don't see everything I can," she nodded and he was grateful that instead she liked the metaphors way too much. 

"Then I don't understand why," he confessed and turned to her, "Why didn't you say anything and why don't you now?"

She let some ashes fall down by tapping on the butt of the cigarette, she took a puff and watched the little flame burning for a bunch of seconds.

"I wasn't ready back then and he wasn't too, it wasn't fair for none of us," she explained calmly, "Now... Now we're being both stupid and we'll probably snap at the wrong time," she laughed in a silly way.

"Oh okay then, I was right from the start," he noted sarcastically, "You fucking dumbasses are meant to torture me 'till death!"

At those words she couldn't restrain herself anymore and laughed so hard that the cigarette slipped through her fingers and fell down over the balcony. 

"Oh shit!" she cursed still chuckling, "Hope nobody's gonna burn their hair!" she caught a tear under her eye with her pointing finger. 

"No seriously," he didn't pity at all the still half cigarette to smoke, "That was just a joke, right? You don't really mean it, right!?" 

The scene must have been funny because she kept a dopey smile on her lips, while she gladly accepted the glass of water he brought. Iwaizumi looked like a mad man, the vein on his forehead was so close to pop out because of the tension.

"I got the impression you don't really want me to answer that..." she whispered behind the glass right before taking a few tips and he called her name out sternly, "Alright alright," she surrendered rising her free hand, "I mean... Do you think I should?"

"Definitely!" he pleaded exhausted by the antics of those two idiots he had choose as friends, "Please, put me out of this misery and go for it! I'll pay all the cost of the honeymoon if you want, but please just fucking tell him!" 

"A good payed honeymoon doesn't sound bad, after all..." she feigned interested in being persuaded like that, "It's just that... For real, do you think I can, Hajime?"

The humour left completely the banter to change in a heart-felt conversation. She stood up on her feet and looked up at him with so much honesty and fear and care in her eyes that he switched his mood to match hers immediately. 

"What scares you?" he genuinely asked, "Is it the distance?"

"No it's not that... Or at least I think it's something I could manage but..." she sighed and lowered her gaze into the glass of water still filled, "What I fear is that he would say yes, but then after some time that would just turn in a kinda of gatekeeping thing and he would end hating me for all of that," she spoke the darkest part of her heart, "I swear, Hajime, if the risk would only be a break up, I could deal with the pain of its aftermath... I'm so fucking used to love people who has left me behind," she smiled sadly while running a digit around the rim of the glass, "But if he ends up hating me? I don't think I could bear that idea." 

Another tear run down her cheeks and Iwaizumi's heart clenched at the thought that this time it wasn't caused by a laugh... 

He called her name softly to meet again her eyes, "Listen, I really think you should tell him all of this, you need to feel your emotions! Especially the good ones, because you're always so careful with the bad ones that you tend to forget those sometimes," he put a comforting hand on her shoulder, "I'm not supposed to tell you this, but he loves you so much that I think he fear the same about you."

"Okay," she murmured.

"You deserve to be happy and loved, both of you do," he reassured her.

"Okay," she repeated, "Thanks Hajime," she found a little bit of courage about what to do, "We might be the ones to pay you a honeymoon..."

"Yeah, I fucking deserve that after all of these years with you two dumbasses in love!!" he laughed openly and she followed him shyly, "Now let's go inside, it's starting to get cool," he side-hugged her to lead her back to the living room before she could remember to not have completely smoked her fallen cigarette.

[biosurvive]

@deadaim: Pulls Chris down onto his lap for some quality cuddles.

If there was one thing Chris didn't like to be seen as it was vulnerable, he's been a dependable stone statue since he was eighteen and he was forced into a position of responsibility. He could weather storms, he could carry weight on his shoulders, both metaphorically and literally. Stone wasn't supposed to crack, but it always did when certain anniversaries rolled around.

Truthfully it didn't make a lick of sense, shouldn't he be passed their deaths? They died a long time ago, and yet on the day that it happened memories plague him and he gets swallowed up by the stress and anxiety that had came with their deaths. He hated how he felt then, he never wants to feel that way again and yet on the anniversary he feels as if it's a disservice to not embrace that pain. He knows he should talk about this, talk to Leon, but his dear husband had his own issues, he had no business dumping this on him when he had his own weight to carry. Chris didn't care that they took those vows for a reason and if the roles were reversed he'd be angry that Leon didn't let him help. He doesn't care that he tells everyone that they shouldn't face things alone and yet he does so anyway. He doesn't care that he's a hypocrite.

He was sitting in their bedroom for a good hour, lamenting about how angry and upset he felt over ghosts that shouldn't be haunting him and he debates on what to do. A simple walk or a drive may help, maybe Leon wouldn't even ask questions, so with a huff he stands, moving out into the living room to grab his keys with only a gruff. "I'll be right back." voiced. He'd come back in an hour, he'd come back and he'd be back to normal, back to the man that could hold up those he loved without crumbling beneath the weight.

He just hadn't expected for Leon to grab his arm and tug him down, he also didn't expect his ever observant husband to pretty much latch around him. It's probably be an interesting sight, seeing such a large man cuddling into the lap of his smaller framed husband, but it scared him how he instantly crumpled up, his face buried in Leon's neck, inhaling his scent and allowing Leon to hold him in place. His eyes were wet, and he refused to let Leon see them, but the damn beautiful man didn't even ask him yet, he just understood.

A muffled "I love you." Comes out against the salty flesh of Leon's neck, and he buries himself further, prominent nose and stubbly jaw pressed so tightly into the crook that he felt... secure. He felt safe, he felt taken care of, which weren't feelings he should be allowed to feel when he has always been the devoted protector and guardian. "Mon père et ma mère me manquent. Cela fait des années et ils me manquent encore." The words are still muffled, and Chris chastises himself over how easy it was slip into old habits. Pulling away, he finally locks his gaze with Leon, only to dart in and kiss him deeply.

It was a quick lock of their lips, but it was what he needed to pull away and let out a shameful sigh. " I'm sorry, mon amour. There's things I wish I could tell them. My mom and papa. I wish they could have met you, I wish they could have met me. " He admits, sorrow spilling forward over the secrets he withheld out of fear as a teenager. He leans further into Leon's chest, digits playing with the hem of his husband's shirt absently, a distraction from having to look back into his stormy eyes.

" I don't like when you see me like this. I like being strong for you. "

[kingsmanne]

ok so. 

i probably give it like one week until i’m salty again because i actually am like that lol

i mean i’ve talked before about tumblr rp not feeling social anymore, the difficulties and the challenges of it being like everyone having their own little stall waiting for others to initiate the interaction and come over to buy something without doing it themselves, not liking posts anymore, and so on, and so on.  i still think that’s true, but at some point, i have to look at myself and just consider what my own role in all of this is. i have my own little stall at the end of the marketplace, but i don’t see myself visiting other stalls to be something enough, for the fear they judge what i wanna buy, mock my outfit, or don’t take my currency. 

(you have to excuse the metaphors, i’m tired and rambling lol)

so yeah. my resolution for the new year on here is genuinely not worrying how i am being perceived. so what if people may think i’m annoying or hate me or my muse. that’s life. can’t be friends with everyone, and i don’t like everyone either. but what’s important is actually the people that do want to write and interact with you, and establishing a relationship with them. you know, reaching out, sending memes, headcanon asks, just be enthusiastic about their muse. it’s what you give comes back. 

i know that anne may not be too accessible, considering her fandom of origin is rather small right now, i’m easily socially exhausted and run the danger of disappearing when life becomes too much. i don’t know what vibe i give off, either. but i’ll try my best to be a better partner. 

[kimarisgundam]

Rockerboy hates my Netrunner's dad cos dad tortured him, flatlined his chooms, and is currently threatening to call a hit on more of his friends

Exec doesn't hate dad, but is really salty over having his pride wounded. He has to occasionally work for dad now as a corp backed fixer cos dad let him walk from Arasaka

My Netrunner is super frigging pissed at her family cos

^ pissed at myself for being a coward and helping dad zero Rockerboy's friends + following orders and backstabbing my party

Big bro found out years ago that our sponsor helped facilitate the internal hit on our mom and his dad but didn't tell me

Big bro knew I was our sponsor's bio kid but chose not to tell me anything. No wonder he never called dad "dad" >:U

Dad is threatening tell MaxTac Solo has cyber psychosis if I reveal his affair to Arasaka (I retaliated cos he threatened Rockerboy)

And wtf dad! You told me the code I wrote was being used for therapeutic/medical purposes. Medical my butt! You used it to torture people >:U

The 3 of us are basically seething right now. And for the first time in this entire campaign...

My/my Netrunner's salt > my sense of honour/duty towards serving Arasaka/dad

Salt > my respect and fear of dad

Salt > not wanting to be a disappointment to my big bro

I basically just want to tell my family to go frig themselves now cos I've had enough of being lied to and manipulated >:T

Dad wants to take everything back from me cos I'm disobedient?

FINE. I'll borrow clothing from Solo2. I'll go from dressing in Jinguji to looking like Hatsune Miku with a gun >:T

I get why dad wanted to hide my Netrunner's existence cos it's not a good look having an affair with a traitor. But like, why didn't he tell the truth to my Netrunner? Is he that ashamed that she's his kid? Am I such a disappointment?

My current plan is to become dad's worst nightmare as a metaphorical middle finger to him. Like literally be a total disgrace as his bio kid. I'll even lie and say Rockerboy is my input

Exec is fully on board with this cos he wants to see my Netrunner's dad freak out, plus he gets to suck up to dad and play the good guy by saying he'll "look out" for me cos I'm with Rockerboy

Rockerboy just wants to stir crap so he's eager to do this

But our DM and Nomad are giving us the ಠ_ಠ look now cos we're hitting a hornet's nest

[warwickroyals]

XLV: FRATERNAL "BONDING"

Beginning | Previous | Next

Transcript under the cut - Click for HQ photos

AUTHOR'S NOTE: You know how out of character it is for Phillip to hug someone? Poor, Alex, though I can't help but feel bad for him. Also Coraline? Natasha? Damn, it's been so long since those characters were even mentioned! I feel like

PS - Nick has a lot of anger towards Phillip that has been seething since he left. Being abandoned by another paternal figure could not be easy for him.

PSS - I have been sitting on a huge spoiler for this entire arc, and I'm about to let it go next chapter. Get ready for tomorrow . . .

All likes, comments and reblogs are greatly appreciated! Thank you for the support 💜

[NICHOLAS] All I’m saying is that it’s very ironic that you rushed all the way over here just to defend

him. I mean, you two are basically the same person if you really think about—

[ALEX] That’s literally just a lie, you’re just making shit up on top of that—

[NICHOLAS] Fuck. Stop talking when I’m talking, he’s just a forty-year-old brunette version of you.

[ALEX] No, I’m not! I mean, no offence, sir, but that’s literally not true.

[NICHOLAS] Stop saying “literally” like that! No shit, it’s not literally true, it’s a metaphor, genius.

[ALEX] See? You see what I mean? I can’t say anything without him just attacking me!

[PHILLIP] I’m not trying to take anyone’s side, Nicholas.

[NICHOLAS] Oh, really? That’s news to me. You’ve had a lot of things to say to me and comparatively little to him.

[ALEX] He doesn’t need to say anything to me!  I already know that I messed up. I’m sorry, what else do you want?

[NICHOLAS] You’re treating this like you flunked math or something. You can’t just “Oh, sorry, my bad” a baby away.

[ALEX] This is all so pointless. Kamryn won’t even talk to me anymore, her dad has her under, like, house arrest.

[NICHOLAS] Her funeral, I guess. Unlike you, Alex, I actually thought she was halfway intelligent.

[PHILLIP] Okay, guys, this is beginning to get unbearable. Both of you need to shut up for—

[ALEX] I can’t believe you. You’re jealous, just admit that—[NICHOLAS] Jealous of what, exactly? Of me, of us. You pretend to be so unbothered but you’re so Goddamn jealous that I have someone I care about. And you have no one.

[PHILLIP] Alex, what did I just say about shutting the fuck up?

[ALEX] Well, somebody needs to tell him. He doesn’t care about Mom or me or anyone but himself. Now he’s salty because he’s all alone. I mean, who else is there? Natasha? The girl would have dove off a cliff just to reach his bed and he somehow still managed to mess that up.

[PHILLIP] Okay, that’s enough. You’re brothers, your father is gone, supporting each other should be your main priority.

[NICHOLAS] Coming from you that statement is a joke. Save me whatever speech you’re about to give about fraternal love. Uncle: where have you been? This is the first time in like six months that we’ve even seen you. You’ve missed two Christmases. Last year you were in a psych ward for over two weeks and Sam only found out about it because one of his friends made a joke about you being at a halfway house. You want to talk about my priorities? What about yours?

[NICHOLAS] You’ve been trying to leave this family from the moment you were born. That’s the issue with you, with both of you. You just do and never think about the consequences. You can always leave if you fuck up too grossly. What about me? I can’t leave, you know, and it’s really funny that you bring up Dad—[ALEX] Man, you need to chill out—He’s not just gone, he’s dead. And unlike you he didn’t even have a choice. He didn’t leave willingly like you.

[PHILLIP] What . . . What exactly do you mean?

You know what I mean. It should have been you. You’re not exactly addicted to life, are you?

You’re a terrible person, Nick. There’s nothing you can say that will provoke me, all you’re doing is proving Alex right. Is that what you want?

[NICHOLAS scoffs]

[PHILLIP] Oh, that it’s funny now? You’re proud of that? You’re a manipulator, you’re cruel, and you take people for granted. You act this way and then wonder why you keep finding yourself alone. Yes, I’ve done the same, terrible things and you can resent me for that, but you’re supposed to be better. Okay? Act better. Do better.

[NICHOLAS] Whatever. I’m out of here. This is pointless.

[ALEX] Maybe he has a point. I mean, he’s wrong, but he’s right at the same time. I know I’ve messed up, I— I feel stuck. I don’t know what to do with myself and . . . it’s been like that for a very long time. And now it’s so much worse.

[ALEX] After Dad died, Nick told me that he would still choose to have our dad for the same amount of time over, like, another dad who would live forever. Because our dad was easily the best dad in the world. Back then I thought I agreed with him, but now I’m not sure. I—I—I can’t do this. Grandfather wants to send me to Scarborough and I really, really don’t know how to tell him no. I’ll be disappointing him all over again. I want to be there, I want to be a good dad, but if I get enlisted, I won’t be able to. Sorry, I’m kind of a mess right now.

[PHILLIP] Alex, you don’t have to apologize for anything, alright? I’ll talk to him, I’ll get him to change his mind.

[TEXT] Thanks for reaching out. Sorry for avoiding you, I didn’t know how to face you even after all this time. Now that we’ve graduated I think it’s best we go our separate ways. I wish things were different but they never will be. I’m sorry Nick, but I only want what’s best for us

[PHILLIP] It’s okay, you’ll be fine. And Nick does not have a point. He doesn’t know what he’s talking about.

[evil-wild-lesbian-wizard]

C-section? More like skill issue

Flicks a can, slut

I was doing my job last night, your moms new name is Job

Ok just because I don’t want the wardrobe monsters eating them; doesn’t mean I like them

You know you’re dead when you hear the jazz music slowly approaching

Sings seven nation army jazzily

That’s not jazz!!!! It is now mother fucker

Wiki how is corrupting you

If you didn’t want me to eat your knee you shouldn’t have been such a Whore

Are you consuming the propaganda

Thou shalt not eat propaganda right up there with thou shalt not get impregnated with the baby of

satan in a Walmart bathroom

It’s lovely day out. I’m gonna kill my self

Not all of us are cowards Blair. Drink some milk

Are you high on a lack of brain cells??

I hope your bathbomb is a toaster

I’m gonna baptize people from the inside out

Do it pussy boy

I have no authority to say things but I do have audacity

Drinks water: yep, still soapy

Ur moms a metaphor

I don’t have pockets so have to put it in my mouth

Hey! No conflict without me

It’s not my fault, I just keep saying iconic things

No you can’t eat that! Well fuuuuuuuck you too man

Banished to the cheese dungeon for a thousand years

You were in a music video and you were just losing the argument

I give zero fucks, I will lick your hands. ^they’re probably salty^

I don’t wanna be sniffed!!!

Oofles buddy

Toyota more lil get fucked

Toyota local boob jobs

Toyotathon more like titython

Don’t guilt trip him! No I am.

We don’t eat spicy sky rasins

Hey don’t be sad the my soul cock is bigger than yours

I shit myself on the strip in Las Vegas and all I got was this lousy Tshirt

Have you ever seen a non Arab Muslim? Yes. OH SHIT THEY’RE COLONIZING

I guess if you have dick cheese….

If you take viagra and your dick starts crunching we have problems

Before and after riger mortis I’ll smash

GIVE ME YOUR VAGINA!!

Suck my dick fingers

Thou shalt eat silica beads

I just want them to use a condom

My back is not crackin shlackin

What scares you the most? Women.

What is wrong with you? 👍🏻

I washed my hair this morning. YAY!! In a Starbucks bathroom. NO!!

Do I support gun violence?

I like grapefruit because it reminds me of vagina

Your fangs need some viagra

Your old soft ball teammates dad killed three people on a motorcycle while he was high on crack

I got bit by an old person, I am not friends with old people

Are there bugs in my eye?

Honestly the school needs to serve more cunt

So I saunter up to the dragon all sexy like

He’s got the shotussy

Who here considers me their father?…. That’s concerning

Product of turkey? You’re telling me a turkey made this

If you are curious about how much cannabis you can transport in your car, the answer is not 82 pounds

It’s not violence if it’s vehicular manslaughter

That’s a lie I’m no cashier, burger maker is I

Diversity wins! The gay person can catch

The lama is gay!

You lost hydration privileges

I heard something about the devil, are we talking about the devils lettuce??

Wake up it’s time to overthrow the government

Ugh shoulders? You’re not being a good catholic

If you drink holy water do you sweat catholic?

Jesus will airdrop you a copy of the constitution

Lying: the foundation of every good thing

Sure just beat up the twink..wtf

Just gonna drink my monster and judge you

I’m gonna spend the rest of the day on ao3

You ever just look at a banana and think damn those sexy lady hips

Poland disagrees

Is bread masculine

I love the smell of superiority in the morning

To whom it may concern you suck

WERE UNIONIZING!!

you can’t have a child labor cult without any children.

The trans masculine urge to jump off of a bridge

The only difference between god and my asshole is that people worship my asshole

Get that bread you funky little stripper man!

It’s gonna hurt but we’re gonna be closer because of it! That’s just trauma bonding Jess!!

Breasticles in my testicles

Might I see thine fair breasts on this yonder morn my dear lady

Tits are too funny, breasts are too formals, Tatas just aren’t it, so idk man

Why do you know what pegging is?? INTERNATIONAL WOMENS DAY DUH!?!??

Boat captain do you have a long or short tow rope? HOW BIG IS YOUR PENIS???

Mother said can’t have glitter so I got GLITTER

Imma call the pope and be all “yo Francy, what’s up come snatch this Whore”

YOU CANT RAMEN IN A STARBUCKS CUP WITH LUKEWARM WATER

Damn green waste material always turning my blood the wrong color

Don’t flirt with your sleep paralysis demon

Serve that crusty cunt

No!! I have to refrigerate my bull semen

WHY EOULD YOU KILL MY CHIKD

Abortion? More like eviction notice

If you remove your scapulas are you free from sin? Yes that’s how you become a true Christian

Man Carry the weight of the world on their shoulder and women carry the weight of their sins

(Whispered) *genital herpes*

Don’t worry it’s not my dildo, it’s the schools!!

I fucked god he’s not impressive

TOUCH THE FETENOYL BUNNY LOGAN!!!!

My goal in life is helatitis b

Diseases? GOTTA CATCH EM ALL!!

We’re gonna be so ready to march on the captial with our legion of screaming armed smal children

“Whawhawha” all I hear is fascist dictator!! I NEVER KILLED ANY JEWS!! THATS WHAT HITLER SIAD YOU FLOPPY COCK

Go on, test me, “I know where you sleep”

Booooo

That really resonated with the girlies

No he was not “the one the got away” he was the bastard who stole my catalytic converter and kissed me in a Wendy’s parking lot

Vagina!🥳

I wanna guilt trip old people Into buying me things

I love chickens but I don’t feel bad about eating them

I’m gonna find a fish and it’s gonna end up in your face

After being slapped in the face by so many fish I can’t help but hate them

Are you a pescatarian because you love animals or because you really hate fish ?

No, her soul is an orbee

R:”It’s cuz the salad was underdressed”

M:*staring at salad with extreme disdain* “slut”

“Can I do the dishes? No. YOU NEVER LET ME DO ANYTHING”

No solar energy for naughty America it doesn’t fit the Reagan aestethitc

They wish they had my ramen swag

The children want drugs

Feed the children addictions, cuz they were born to crack whores

Being nice gets your ass deported

Nothing but good vibes bitch

Bella I don’t think you have a boyfriend I think you have a toddler

I am your best friend you chicken fried fuck

And what is your costume? Slut

*with sticker of forehead* I’m special, and I’m allergic to these

How can I be a Whore when the only thing I pull is a push door

I’m starting an only fans to find my build a bear addiction

Live laugh love- eau de old people

Ohshitfuckdickwhoreholecocksuckingmotherofdouchesarghhhhsmmmmmmmdickdickdick

Yo can’t just say girl math and justify all your actions yes I can!!!

I would do so much if it weren’t for the Geneva convention

That is truly a pathetic man….. I want him carnally

But have you considered, war crimes?

You get appendicitis, you get appendicitis…. “You’re the Oprah of apecitis”

When I grow up I want to be cremated

*Shaking a can of Pennys* I’m sorry is my richness bothering you??

Wanna file joint taxes? No you’re not my type

What a little boy fail

What do you taste like???? Chicken

I’ll belike l whip that cunt out cowboy style

They blocked you?? Cowards

My favorite breakfast food is the souls of the undead what about you?

Waffles

Do not fuck the refrigerator

Stupid slutty refrigerator

Pumpkin spice in the off season is crack-cocaine for white girls

Where is my little girlfriend? Bitch where is your dad? Where is your father?? You don’t have one. FATHERLESS BEHAVIOR

You’re dulling my sparkle you hoe bag

When life gets hard, you must get harder

Scamming child labor companies, it’s for the children!!

It genuinely brings me joy to know that I’m making people suffer,……… am I a bad person?

For litterally fucking what??

Can we lock the math teacher in the closet

Baby he’s already there

It’s not rigging an election, it’s strategic voter persuasion

Friendship is getting hit by the same car

He was such a great guy, embezzling was a minor character flaw

If you ever get upset with a child just tape them to the wall

That was not so great

This is unlucky

I’m a cheese beggar

I hate everyone equally give me cheese

Is there a hight restriction for being a lesbian ?

Of course not

……. There should be

THATS THE CUNTY ONE, he slays the hardest

I’m fagging it up in my tranny little house

I don’t know how but I can tell he’s gay

It’s the homo in you

You are gay you have built in sparkle

Girl mid

(Alex) Things to do:

(Izzy) Kill myself

(Owens) is there anything concerning on Instagram

(Alex) everything about you is concerning

If they didn’t want me to call them a slut, why are they covered in blood??

*Assorted screaming* yeah that’s about right

Why are you crying?

I saw you

Mothman ate my whole ass in a dennys parking lot. It was a grand slam breakfast

You look like mothman threw up on you, fucking hot topic ass employee looking bitch

(Alex) I don’t think Kennedy’s was born, she crawled up from hell to torment us all

(Kennedy) Oh so that’s where we met all those years ago …. All those years ago

(Alex)Is that why you look so old all the time

None of the above kill them all

(Kennedy) Alex you should kys

(Alex) your fit is giving goodwill, so shut the fuck up

Your spirit animal is a spirit animal is a ninty year old woman

Old women mitosis… they’ll never see it coming

*tries to scream but only air comes out*

Pussy slay cunt boots slay the whole house down boots Houston I’m deceased

We watched a cadaver have breast implants

Did you just womp womp a girl with cancer?

That’s life

He’s such an icon

(Kennedy) fuck you!

(Alex) no thanks

My goal in life is to make everyone uncomfortable

I have done the world a great disservice and I’m very proud of it…. Like those war crimes I committed

Where were you September 9 2001?!???

Um…. In utero?

So you admit it!!!!!!

(Owen) how do you spell keel?

(Alex) K-e-e-l

(Owens) thanks

(Alex) that’s how you get the bitches

I want to donate my kidneys, I don’t want anyone to use them I just don’t want them anymore.

So you want one of our kidneys?

Hold on let me check the list

Me and my friend group would do miracles on tumblr dot com