#THIS IS A VERY SERIOUS TWO HOUR DEBATE
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silknspice · 1 month ago
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ARCANE CHARACTERS AS ROMANCE TROPES
⎯ ୨୧ pairings: vi x reader, jinx x reader
⎯ ୨୧ content: pure fluff, mentions of alcohol, lying, swearing, first love and fake dating tropes used, lowercase intended, not proofread
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vi ⎯ fake dating
fake dating! vi       who made the bet with you at one of jayce’s frat parties. she and caitlyn were officially over, the woman turning to the warmth of maddie to prove that she’d “moved on”, which made vi look like the loser. she couldn’t stand that. getting with the woman she told vi “not to worry about” was low. the only thing to do was go lower- or rather higher. you were caitlyn’s kryptonite. intelligent, charming, fashionable, every time you were around during your friend group’s hangouts she clung onto vi’s arm as if you were a magnet and she was the strongest metal. as if when she let go, vi would fly away and straight into your arms. 
fake dating! vi       who approached you while your other friends were occupied, going in with nothing but a red solo cup, cocky smile, and a dream. she soon realized that you’d be a challenge to crack, resorting to begging. 
“c’mon pretty!” the pinkett pleaded, moving every which way around you as you continuously turned your body to avoid her gaze. only when she took your plastic cup and held it higher than you could reach, your bodies inches apart as she gazed down on you, did you cave. 
“fine, you baby!” you huffed out with a big exhale. the girl paid the diss no mind as she lowered her arm, leaning in to whisper despite the loud party atmosphere. her words tickled the side of your ear, and you could practically sense her shit-eating grin. 
“i’ll make it worth your while.”
it’s not that you didn’t want to say yes at the first sound of the question. it was the reason why this bet came to be that made your stomach turn. after some instagram stories, lots of pda, and almost everyone on campus whispering about the two of you, caitlyn would be crawling back to vi in no time. she’d have the power back. at least that’s what she thought. 
it wasn’t the acting that worried you, it was your true feelings. 
fake dating! vi       who doesn’t understand why you’re so uptight about the situation. you invite her to your house sunday, a piece of loose leaf paper and a pink sharpie on the coffee table. on the top:  “ ୨୧ rules ୨୧ “ in your pretty handwriting. 
“rules?” she snorted, arms resting on the top of the couch while she leaned back into the plush throw pillows. you sat opposite of her on the ground, her wide man spreading right in front of you making your head fuzzy. 
you look down at your decorated paper and back up at the girl with perfectly furrowed brows. “of course? what, you thought you were just gonna have your way with me?” 
a smile quickly grew on the girl’s face, stifling a laugh at your unfortunate word choice. 
“you know what i mean!” you whined, picking up the sharpie and uncapping it. “you’re chaotic. i need some guidelines so you don’t throw me into some absolutely heinous situation.” 
fake dating! vi       and you who agreed to the following terms after a very unproductive hour of talking: no telling anybody that this is fake (ESPECIALLY POWDER, blabbermouth), watch 10 things i hate about you together (vi hasn’t seen this!?!), yn comes to all of vi’s hockey games and after parties, and no tongue when kissing. vi groaned and debated with you for 15 minutes after you suggested the last one. you claimed there was ‘no need’ for it, she claimed no tongue wasn't convincing anyone that you were a serious couple. finally, you put a question mark next to the rule. you’ll just have to revisit that one later. 
fake dating! vi       who shifted in her seat, patting her lap twice in an unbothered manner once you completed the list.
“okay, c’mere.” 
you looked up from the paper you were folding, brows furrowing in confusion. “‘scuse me?” the girl didn’t repeat herself, staring at you expectantly. you stood, walking around the coffee table cautiously and standing in between her legs with your hands on your hips. 
fake dating! vi       who scoffed and pulled you into her lap, having you straddle her with her hands on your hips while you looked at her as if she had five heads. “listen, we’re gonna have to do a bunch of shit in front of cait,” she started. “right..” you followed up, waiting for the explanation. “so, we need to practice. you know, so that you don’t freeze up or somethin’.” you scoffed, shoving her shoulder. “i’ve kissed people before vi, sorry to burst your bubble.” she grinned at that, tilting her head up at you. 
“yeah, but you’ve never kissed me, honey.” 
fake dating! vi       who got a little carried away when practising your “fake” passionate kisses, mumbling little quips like “no no, like this” and “restart, you’ve gotta act more natural”. what was supposed to be a fast practice kiss ended up lasting 15 minutes. you ended up fixing your rules list one last time.  no tongue when kissing?  tongue is fine
fake dating! vi       who leaves one of her clean jerseys at your house. when gameday comes, you, mel, and powder spend the hour before the game getting ready for your lovers. jersey clad bodies, blue and white ribbons in your hair (your school colors of course), and eye black on your cheekbones, except yours was pink (for obvious reasons). 
fake dating! vi       who’s brain short circuits when she first spots you in the stands, and again when she, ekko, and jayce meet with you girls after the game. seeing her in uniform, all aggressive and cocky out on the ice had you all but drooling in the stands. seeing you all dressed up in her attire got a rise out of her, and a different rise out of caitlyn as she stormed out of the locker room and past the six of you. you gave each other grins and a high five to mask the cheesy smiles accompanying your faces as you admired each other.
fake dating! vi       who takes your hand at the crowded after party, pulling you through the drunken community and up the stairs to one of her teammates rooms. you’re utterly confused as she shuts the door behind you both and reaches over her head to pull her compression shirt off. 
“the hell are you doing?” you stare straight at vi with wide eyes, but don’t dare to cover them. 
“jayce said he’s sending caitlyn up here for somethin’,” she started, finally peeling the form fitting black fabric off of her body. she looked to you, eyes flicking down then back up. “well? what are you waiting for? strip.” she spoke in too calm of a manner, like she was concealing her true tone underneath. 
“oh you’re crazy.” you shake your head, not moving as vi moves over to you. “just-  take off your clothes! i just want her to think we were gonna do it.”  
you look at her as if her previous five heads had grown to ten, grabbing the hem of your cropped top and pulling it over your head. at the sound of footsteps down the hall, you rushed to the bed, vi laying back and your body sitting atop hers. warm skin smushed together. glossy eyes admiring each others bodies as pupils unknowingly dilate. vi wondered what would happen if she unhooked the clasp of your bra that she was fiddling with. you wondered when the day would come where she begged to unclasp it. 
“just like we practiced, honey?” she asked with her sweet and soft voice, foreign to everyone but you as your lips locked and the door swung open. 
fake dating! vi       who didn’t realize how clear her conflicting feelings were until her sister teased her on a saturday morning at ekko’s house. “i see the way she looks at you, and the way you admire her when you think no one’s looking. you’ve got it baaad, sis.”
fake dating! vi       who has been falling for you more and more ever since this stupid deal began. she’s building the courage to let you know just how much you mean to her and make you her real girlfriend. 
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jinx ⎯ first love/teenage love
first love! jinx     who became infatuated with you when she saw you at practice for the first time, whether you cheer, play a sport, or dance. the way you bit your lip in focus, the way you move in your element, and the sweat that had your attire clinging to you made her brain go completely numb.
first love! jinx     who pretended not to know you as ekko introduced you, asking if the three of you could be partners for a science project. she’d already stalked your instagram and had it ready to follow as soon as she left the classroom. 
first love! jinx     who wasted no time getting comfortable with you. movie nights at her house, late night drives, and the parties. she partied more than one should, saying that’s “what highschool is all about”. she, ekko, vi, caitlyn, mel, jayce, and you all spread out in caitlyn’s glamorous bedroom from the plush bean bags to the girl’s bed, pregaming, chatting, and getting ready for the night. 
first love! jinx     who always had you do her makeup when going out, claiming it was to “practice the abstract things” you were too afraid to do on yourself. for her, it was the perfect chance to have you close. her hands rested on your hips and moved to the small of your back as you straddled her. your soft fingers cupped her chin gently to hold her face still while you coated her lashes with mascara. she absentmindedly traced meaningless patterns on the skin exposed by your cropped top, never daring to take her eyes off of you. 
“all done!” you exclaimed, holding up the mini compact mirror for the bluenette to admire herself. 
“you’re an artist toots, always makin’ me look s’ pretty.” the girl wrapped her arms further around you, causing you to giggle while she embraces you with a cheeky grin.
“damn, you smell good,” she whispered, just soft enough to share the thought with you and make you melt. 
first love! jinx     who confessed by accident when you resided in your favorite spot: the rooftop. you were babbling about college and all of your hopes and worries for the future. everything was changing so fast, and you just wanted to know it was all going to be okay. 
you shifted in your position, body tense as you lay facing the ombre sky. “you just gotta promise me that even if we don’t go to the same university, we’ll both call each other all the time and try to visit as often as possible. oh, and you have to-” the girl stopped you with a hand to the cheek, gently moving your face to look her in the eyes. she was laid on her side to have you in her full view. “you worry too damn much,” she said in a tone foreign to her. it was gentle and almost breathless, like she didn’t want to scare you away. “you’re not gettin’ rid of me that easy. not when I love you this much.” 
the reason for the shock on your face and the gasp from your soft “o” shaped lips didn’t register until she thought back on her words, face morphing into one of horror and worry. what would you say? did she just screw things up? 
“...took you long enough.” you whispered through a grin, placing a hand atop hers on your cheek. 
first love! jinx     who, once you’re dating, loves sneaking into your room late at night. you’d say good night to your family, put on a special pair of pajamas and lie under the covers awaiting the soft knock at your window. once shes there you hop out of bed, racing to your window and deny opening it for just a moment to tease her out in the cold of night. 
first love! jinx     who loves having you all to herself. once inside, her arms immediately find their way around your waist and don't let go until you reach your bed. she only releases for a moment before pulling you under the covers and onto her lap, her hands sliding up your shirt and lips finding the sweet spot on your neck. to her, keeping you quiet all night is some fun challenge. 
first love! jinx     who always forgets to leave before sunrise, resulting in you both waking up in a panic when your parents knock at the door. you quickly shout out “just a minute!” hushed, frantic whispers follow before she hides under your bed or inside your walk-in closet, doing her best to suppress her giggles of adrenaline. 
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this was supposed to include ekko and cait too but i got way too carried away, love my girls <33
��silknspice
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saetoru · 1 year ago
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✩ ‧₊˚ ✩。TANGLED — GETO SUGURU.
contents. just suguru needing his hair brushed for him bc he’s def so me and gets mad over the knots lol—alternative title: princess suguru and his frog <3
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suguru huffs in front of your mirror—and it’s quite the frustrated huff, too—before he slams the hair brush down.
you raise a brow, “you okay over there?”
“no. ‘s knotted,” he mutters, referring to his hair. there’s a quiet grumbling of something unintelligible under his breath before he glares at himself in the mirror.
suguru loves his hair—anyone would know that just by looking at him. most guys use two-in-one shampoo (like satoru) but suguru? he practically hogs your shower space with all of the products he owns. his hair is well maintained and perfectly neat every time you see him. but sometimes, like now, it’s also a pain to brush once it’s knotted. and, well, he doesn’t handle it very well.
“you’ve been brushing for—” you pretend to check your bare wrist for the time, “—like ten minutes,” you giggle.
“very funny,” he grunts bitterly. and then, more petulantly this time, “i’m cutting it off for real this time.”
“you said that last time,” you remind him, eyes glinting with amusement.
“this time i mean it.”
“no you don’t, sugu.”
“i do,” he insists, glaring at you through the mirror, “it’s getting too long, and i don’t have the time to brush all these damn knots every two hours. so, it’s getting cut.”
“okay,” you nod casually—anyone can tell you don’t believe him.
his expression sours. suguru gets in very bad moods when his hair doesn’t cooperate, it’s evident in the way he flares his nostrils and scowls.
“you still don’t believe me? i’m being serious.”
“okay, baby,” you snort, finally deciding to take matters into your own hands as you rise from your bed and walk over. you stand behind him, reaching around him for the hair brush before gently pulling him back to stand closer. “i’ll get it for you, don’t worry. wouldn’t want your princess hair gone.”
“stop calling it that,” he groans, but the tension leaves his shoulders as soon as you gently brush through his strands, starting at the bottom and working your way up. it’s quiet for a bit—nothing but the soft sound of your humming as you work through the tangles in his long (perfect) hair.
“you could’ve just asked if you wanted me to brush it,” you tease after a few moments, “no need to throw a tantrum.”
“glad to see you’re enjoying this,” he rolls his eyes. and then, when you’ve finished and set the brush down, he turns to face you, wrapping his arms around your waist as his face finds the crook of your neck.
you hum, pecking the side of his head before threading your fingers into his dark locks, stroking through the soft strands and silently marveling at the length.
“you’re so pretty, suguru,” you murmur, “did’ya know that?”
“oh yeah?” he chuckles into your skin, lips curling into a loose smile. his arms tighten around you, pulling you impossibly closer.
“yeah,” you nod, “like a princess. my prettiest princess.”
“i thought i told you to quit with that,” he says exasperatedly—you can feel the heat from his cheeks, and you grin to yourself knowing he’s blushing as he hides his face deeper into your shoulder.
“it’s true,” you insist, “i’m no liar. i’m a truther.”
“debatable,” he mumbles. you smack his shoulder playfully, and he squeezes your hips in response. “aren’t you going to tie it for me too?” he finally asks, and you’re sure there’s a pout curled on those lips of his. you ache to kiss them—and you will, just not right now.
right now, you’ll stay like this a bit longer.
“this is real princess treatment,” you sigh dramatically, “yes your highness. i’ll tie it too.”
“thank you,” he says, thoroughly satisfied. and then, quieter, like it’s a secret only you’re supposed to know, “i love you.”
“i love you too,” you happily murmur, “but that might change if you cut your hair.”
“are you only dating me for my hair?”
“yes,” you snicker playfully, “it’s the main appeal. the princess appeal.”
“you know what,” suguru says thoughtfully, “i’ll be your princess.”
“really?” you gasp in excitement, making him nod into your neck as he presses a delicate kiss to your skin.
“sure,” he grins slyly, “and you can be the frog.”
the moment is officially ruined—and for a second, you think you might just have to cut his hair off in his sleep after that one.
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come join me in the most self indulgent drabble once again. also the title being tangled even tho the reference is the princess and the frog is a tad bit funny to me jdjsjd i did giggle i can’t lie
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iamgonnagetyouback · 2 months ago
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remus lupin x reader where a push from peter might just be what remus needed to hold your hand
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You’re squinting down at your Potions textbook, trying to explain the intricacies of Veritaserum to Peter while Remus sits beside you. Remus’ hand rests close to yours, fingers tapping the edge of the book as if he’s debating something, but he just can’t bring himself to move those final inches.
Peter’s watching with barely concealed frustration. It’s been weeks now, and he’s spent nearly every study session watching Remus try and fail to make a move.
“Y/N,” Peter says suddenly, his tone oddly serious, “you look… really pale.”
You look at him, brows drawn. “What? I don’t feel sick.”
But Peter leans in, reaching for your hand and placing his own against it with a dramatically furrowed brow. “Hmm. Are you feeling hot?”
Your face heats up, and you snatch your hand away with a laugh. “Isn’t it usually done with a hand to the forehead or arm?”
Peter’s eyes narrow with a devilish glint. “My mum checks for fevers like this. Are you saying my mum is wrong? My mum, Y/N?”
You stammer, cheeks warming further. “Of course not, Pete. I— I’m just saying…”
“Hmm,” Peter hums, his grin widening, “Moony, maybe you could check her fever for me. I’d do it myself, but I’m cold, so I might not feel it right.”
Remus, caught off guard, coughs and nods, glancing from you to Peter with a soft “Sure, if you…um, if you don’t mind, Y/N.”
He reaches out, taking your hand in his own, and the second your fingers connect, he freezes. His eyes are wide, his words gone somewhere into the far reaches of his mind. Remus Lupin, the man with a response for every situation, is utterly, hopelessly silent.
“Well? Am I sick?” you ask, trying to suppress a smile, though your own heart’s racing faster than you’d care to admit.
Peter gives you both an exaggerated look of concern. “Blimey, Y/N, you must be very ill. Moony can’t even speak!”
Remus snaps out of his daze, shooting Peter a look that could only be described as a death glare, but Peter’s grinning mischievously. “I think you ought to rest, Y/N. Moony, you should probably take her back to her dorm… just to make sure she gets there safe, of course.”
Remus grits his teeth at Peter, but he hasn’t let go of your hand. “Oh, really, Pete? You sure you don’t need more help with Potions?”
“Nah,” Peter says with a mock salute, winking as he gestures to the door. “You two go ahead. I’m fine.”
The walk to your dorm is filled with an awkward, sweet silence, neither of you quite brave enough to break the spell. Every so often, you glance down at your joined hands, wondering if you should pull away, but you don’t. And neither does he.
Meanwhile, from behind a nearby bookshelf, James and Sirius burst out, clapping their hands and howling with glee. “Agent Peter, job well done!” Sirius exclaims, ruffling Peter’s hair. “But why did it take so long? Do you know how painful it is to sit through hours of Potions talk?”
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and the award for the best wingman goes to.....
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mrsfancyferrari · 3 months ago
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Need Saving
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Summary: You are the first woman to be racing in Formula 1 and you and Max are already best friends. To Jos' dismay.
Song: Me and Your Mama by Childish Gambino
Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 Author’s note: CW: sexist comments, domestic violence (not from Max). I'm still salty about Daniel Ricciardo's exit to Formula 1 so I decided to add him a little here. THIS WILL BE A SERIES AND THANK YOU FOR THE 500 FOLLOWERS! Please like, reblog and share this! <3 ALSO IT'S MY BIRTHDAY!
Word count: 10.8k
MASTERLIST - F1
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You are making history as the first woman to compete in Formula 1 with the Red Bull team, stepping in for Sergio Perez.
This groundbreaking achievement not only highlights your talent but also paves the way for future generations of female racers in a sport traditionally dominated by men.
Your personality shines through with a warm and friendly demeanor that makes you incredibly approachable. Colleagues and fans alike find you likable, creating an inviting atmosphere wherever you go.
This charm not only endears you to those around you but also helps foster a supportive environment within the competitive world of racing
Some have affectionately dubbed you the "Mini Honey Badger," a nod to the legendary Daniel Ricciardo. This playful comparison reflects your fierce determination and tenacity on the track, qualities that resonate with fans and fellow racers.
Your unique blend of charisma and competitive spirit is sure to leave a lasting impression in the world of Formula 1.
Luckily, you found yourself paired with one of the most talented drivers in the sport, Max Verstappen.
From the very beginning, you and Max clicked effortlessly, perhaps due to your shared sense of humor or the lighthearted way you both approached life outside of racing.
Max, known for his fierce competitiveness on the track, also had a playful side that drew you in. Whether it was sharing funny anecdotes from your childhood or engaging in friendly banter about each other's driving styles, the connection felt natural and invigorating.
You both understood the pressures of the sport, yet you managed to find joy in the little moments, whether it was a shared laugh over a silly meme or a light-hearted debate about the best racing video games.
This bond not only made your time together enjoyable but also fostered a sense of trust and teamwork that would prove invaluable as the season progressed.
During your initial week in Formula 1, the team was treated to a mix of corny jokes and uproarious laughter, creating an atmosphere that was both fun and relaxed.
It was clear that the camaraderie between you two was something special, and it didn’t take long for everyone to notice. The garage, usually filled with the tension of competition, transformed into a space of joy and lightheartedness.
You and Max would often engage in playful challenges, like who could come up with the worst dad joke or who could impersonate the team’s engineers the best.
These moments not only broke the ice but also helped to build a strong team spirit.
The mechanics and engineers, who often worked long hours under pressure, found themselves smiling more often, and the overall morale of the team improved.
It was as if your infectious energy had a ripple effect, reminding everyone that while racing was serious business, it was also about passion, fun, and the love of the sport.
Christian Horner, the team principal, seemed to recognize this chemistry right away.
He confidently remarked to the media about the dynamic of having a girl and a boy on the same team, suggesting that he had a good feeling about the partnership.
His words resonated with the fans and the media alike, sparking conversations about the evolving landscape of motorsport and the importance of diversity within the sport. It was evident that the two of you were destined to make waves together on and off the track.
Christian’s faith in your partnership only fueled your determination to succeed.
You both knew that the expectations were high, but instead of feeling overwhelmed, you embraced the challenge.
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"Joseph, can you give me an update on the gap behind?" you inquired, your voice steady as it crackled through the radio to your race engineer.
The sound of your own heartbeat echoed in your ears, a reminder of the high stakes at play.
"You're looking at a 5-second lead over Norris, Y/N," Joseph Duke responded, his tone calm and focused.
As you navigated the track, the adrenaline surged through your veins, heightening your senses.
The smell of burning rubber and the roar of engines filled the air, but your focus remained solely on the asphalt ahead.
Max was currently leading the race, and you were right on his tail, just a heartbeat away from making a decisive move.
With the world championship points on the line, every second counted, and the team’s strategy was crucial.
"Copy that, Joseph. I’m feeling good about this pace. Should I push to overtake Max?" you asked, weighing your options.
The tension in the air was palpable, and you could almost hear the roar of the crowd in your mind, their cheers and gasps fueling your determination.
You could picture the fans waving flags, the excitement building as the race unfolded.
"Remember, he’s leading the championship, so those points are vital for him," Joseph reminded you, his voice steady and measured.
You took a deep breath, considering the risks and rewards of your next move. The thought of overtaking Max was tantalizing, but the consequences of a miscalculation loomed large.
"Understood. But if I don’t make a move soon, he might pull away," you replied, your mind racing through the possibilities.
You could see the track ahead, the curves and straightaways that could either make or break your race.
"Just keep your head in the game, Y/N. Focus on your lines and stay patient. The opportunity will come," Joseph advised, his experience guiding you through the chaos.
You nodded, even though he couldn’t see you, reminding yourself that patience was key.
As you approached the next turn, you felt the car respond to your every command, the tires gripping the asphalt with precision.
You could see Max’s car just ahead, a flash of blue and white, and the urge to push harder surged within you.
"Alright, I’ll hold back for now, but I’m ready when the moment strikes," you said, determination lacing your words.
The opportunity to seize the grand prix had slipped through your fingers, leaving you with a bittersweet taste of second place as Max celebrated his victory.
It wasn’t that you felt anger towards him; after all, the stakes were high, and the competition was fierce.
You had performed admirably, even outshining Checo this season, and Red Bull was finally back to their P1-P2 glory.
As you stepped out of your car, the adrenaline still coursing through your veins, you spotted Max waiting for you, his helmet off and a look of concern etched on his face.
He rushed over, his expression serious as he enveloped you in a quick hug. “You don’t hate me, do you?” he asked, his voice barely above a whisper.
You couldn’t help but chuckle at the unexpected question. Removing your helmet, you met his gaze with a warm smile. “Of course not! But don’t think I’ll go easy on you next week,” you replied playfully, your competitive spirit igniting once more.
Max’s face lit up with a genuine smile, the tension dissipating. “Mate, I won’t go down that easy!” he shot back, his eyes sparkling with the thrill of rivalry.
As you made your way to celebrate with the team, you noticed the difference in how they treated you compared to Max. While he was hoisted into the air, receiving enthusiastic cheers and bone-crushing hugs, you felt a more cautious approach directed your way.
It was a subtle reminder of the gender dynamics at play in the sport. You brushed it off, focusing instead on the camaraderie and the shared passion that brought you all together.
The post-race atmosphere was electric, filled with the sounds of laughter, clinking glasses, and the occasional shout of joy.
You joined in the celebrations, clapping your hands and cheering for your teammates, but a part of you remained introspective.
You replayed the race in your mind, analyzing every corner, every overtaking maneuver, and every missed opportunity.
The thrill of competition was intoxicating, but so was the desire to prove yourself, not just to the team but to the world.
As the evening unfolded, you found yourself lingering at the periphery of the lively celebration, your gaze fixed on Max as he reveled in the spotlight of his victory.
He was the star of the night, the one everyone clamored to congratulate, while you stood in the shadows, merely the second driver.
Christian approached, giving your shoulder a friendly pat, a gesture of appreciation for your support. Yet, it felt insufficient.
You masked your feelings with a bright smile as you watched Max raise his glass, laughter spilling from his lips as the clock inched toward midnight.
“Goodnight, Max,” you called out, aware that your boyfriend, Jake would be less than pleased if you lingered too long.
“Goodnight, best friend! Did I mention you look lovely tonight?” Max replied, his words slightly slurred as he pulled you into a warm embrace.
You felt your cheeks heat up. “No, you didn’t! Thank you, Max. You look great too!” you managed to say, your heart fluttering at the compliment.
As the night wore on, you exchanged goodbyes with the others, the atmosphere buzzing with joy and celebration.
You decided it was time to head home, opting for a taxi since you had indulged in a few drinks earlier.
Once inside the cab, you leaned back against the seat, reflecting on the evening. The laughter, the cheers, and the way Max had shone like a beacon of success.
It was hard not to feel a twinge of envy, but you pushed it aside, reminding yourself of the bond you shared.
The driver navigated through the city streets, and you pulled out your phone, scrolling through the photos from the night.
There was Max, grinning ear to ear, surrounded by friends, and there you were, a supportive figure in the background.
Just as the car turned, your phone buzzed in your pocket, and you glanced down to see a message from Jake.
“Where are you?” he texted, the words appearing on your screen like a gentle reminder of the warmth waiting for you at home.
You smiled, feeling a rush of affection as you typed back, “Just left the party! On my way home now. Can’t wait to see you!”
The taxi weaved through the city streets, and you could almost picture him waiting for you, perhaps pacing a little, his brow furrowed in that adorable way he did when he was worried.
You could hear his voice in your head, teasing you about how you always took too long to say goodbye, but you knew he loved it just as much as you did.
As the taxi pulled up to your building, you felt a flutter of excitement. You paid the driver and hurried inside, your heart racing with anticipation.
As you stepped into the apartment, a heavy scent of alcohol hit you like a wave, and your heart sank.
The cheerful anticipation you had felt moments before evaporated, replaced by a knot of anxiety in your stomach. You knew Jake had been struggling lately, and the telltale signs of his mood were all around you.
Empty bottles cluttered the coffee table, their labels peeling and faded, remnants of nights spent drowning sorrows that seemed to multiply with each passing day.
Taking a deep breath, you cautiously made your way further inside, hoping to find a glimmer of the warmth you once cherished, a flicker of the love that had once filled this space.
“Hey, babe, I’m home!” you called out, trying to inject some cheer into the atmosphere, but your voice felt small and fragile against the oppressive silence that enveloped the room.
The silence that followed was deafening, and you could feel the tension in the air, thick and suffocating.
Just then, he emerged from the shadows of the living room, his eyes glassy and unfocused, as if he were peering through a fog that had settled deep within him.
“Oh, look who decided to show up,” he sneered, his voice dripping with sarcasm, each word laced with bitterness. “Did you have fun pretending to be normal out there?”
You felt a chill run down your spine as he continued, hurling insults that cut deeper than you wanted to admit.
It was as if he was trying to push you away, to create a chasm between you that felt insurmountable.
And yet, amidst the hurt, you couldn’t help but feel a pang of sympathy for the man you loved, the one who was lost beneath layers of pain and anger.
“Why do you always have to do this?” you asked, your voice trembling slightly, the vulnerability in your tone betraying the strength you wished to project. “I just want to help you.”
He scoffed, dismissing your concern with a wave of his hand, the gesture almost theatrical in its disdain. “Help? You mean control. You think you can just waltz in here and fix everything? You’re just like everyone else, trying to tell me what to do.”
The words stung, and you felt the weight of his accusations pressing down on you, each syllable a reminder of the distance that had grown between you.
“I’m not trying to control you,” you replied softly, “I just want to be there for you. Can’t we talk about this?”
But as you looked into his eyes, you realized that the man you once knew was slipping further away, lost in a haze of his own making.
His gaze, once so full of life and passion, now seemed clouded, distant. It was as if he was peering through a murky window, unable or unwilling to see the vibrant world outside.
You could see the shadows of his struggles etched on his face, the lines of worry and anger deepening with each passing day. It pained you to witness this transformation, to see the light in him dimmed by his own fears and insecurities.
“Why can’t you see that I’m trying to help?” you pressed, your heart racing as desperation crept into your voice. “I’m not your enemy. I want to understand what you’re going through.”
You took a tentative step closer, hoping to bridge the gap that felt insurmountable.
But he recoiled slightly, as if your words were a physical blow, and the distance between you felt more pronounced than ever.
“Understand?” he scoffed, his tone laced with bitterness. “You think you can just waltz in and understand? You have no idea what it’s like to feel trapped, to have every choice taken from you. You don’t know the weight of this burden.”
His voice cracked, revealing a flicker of vulnerability beneath the bravado.
As soon as you opened your mouth to speak, Jake brushed by you, grabbing his coat and shoes in one swift motion.
"I'm heading out for a walk. Don't even think about following me," he snapped, his words laced with the sting of alcohol.
You simply nodded, feeling a mix of concern and frustration, but you stayed rooted in place until you heard the door slam shut behind him.
With the sound echoing in the silence, you finally exhaled, the tension in your chest easing just a bit. You glanced around the room, the remnants of the night scattered everywhere—empty bottles and crumpled napkins littered the floor.
"Guess it's cleanup time," you muttered to yourself, bending down to gather the bottles. As you worked, your mind raced with thoughts of him.
Just then, your phone buzzed on the table. It was a message from your best friend, Sarah.
"Hey! How's everything? You okay?"
You sighed, typing back quickly. "Not great. He just stormed out after a fight. I’m cleaning up the mess now."
A moment later, your phone chimed again. "Want me to come over? I can help."
You hesitated, glancing at the door. "No, it’s fine. I just need to sort things out."
"Are you sure? You shouldn’t be alone right now."
You paused, considering her words. "I’ll be okay. I just need to think."
As you continued to tidy up, you replayed the argument in your mind. It had started over something trivial, but the alcohol had turned it into a full-blown fight.
You could hear his voice in your head, the way he had raised his tone, the way he had dismissed your feelings.
"Why does he always do this?" you whispered to yourself, frustration bubbling up again.
You were well aware that he wouldn’t be returning anytime soon.
After tidying up the house, you decided to treat yourself to a long, relaxing bath.
The warm water enveloped you, washing away the day’s worries. Once you felt refreshed, you slipped into your favorite pajamas and crawled into bed, the soft sheets providing a comforting embrace.
He hadn’t always been this way—filled with anger and lost in the depths of alcoholism.
You both had shared a beautiful love story, starting as high school sweethearts. You could still remember the way he used to look at you, his eyes sparkling with affection, mirroring the love you felt for him.
As you lay there, memories flooded your mind. You recalled the laughter, the late-night talks, and the dreams you had built together. But now, those dreams felt like distant echoes, overshadowed by the weight of his struggles.
Maybe it was the pressure of work that was taking a toll on him. You thought back to the last time you had a heart-to-heart.
“Do you remember when we used to talk about our future?” you had asked him one evening, the two of you sitting on the porch, the sun setting in a blaze of colors.
He had sighed, running a hand through his hair. “Yeah, I remember. It feels like a lifetime ago.”
“Things can get better, you know. We can work through this together,” you had urged, your heart aching for the man you once knew.
He had looked away, his expression clouded. “I don’t know if I can. Sometimes it feels like I’m drowning, and I don’t know how to swim anymore.”
You had reached for his hand, squeezing it gently. “You’re not alone in this. I’m here for you, always.”
But as the days turned into weeks, the distance between you grew. The man you loved was slipping away, replaced by someone you barely recognized.
Now, lying in bed, you couldn’t help but wonder if he would ever find his way back to you. Would he remember the love you once shared? Would he fight against the demons that haunted him?
With a heavy heart, you closed your eyes, hoping that tomorrow would bring a glimmer of hope, a sign that the man you loved was still inside, waiting to break free.
As you settled into bed, the glow of your phone screen illuminated the dark room, revealing a flurry of notifications that had accumulated while you were winding down.
Most of them were filled with excitement, congratulating you on your impressive second-place finish in the race. However, amidst the sea of cheerful messages, one stood out—a private note from Max.
While some comments stung with negativity, suggesting you didn’t belong in the world of Formula 1, Max’s message was a beacon of warmth.
“Thanks for coming to celebrate with me 👍,” it read, and a smile crept across your face, momentarily pushing away the weight of the harsh words.
You felt a mix of emotions swirling within you, and for a moment, tears threatened to spill over. But instead of succumbing to the sadness, you decided to respond to Max.
Your fingers danced over the screen as you typed, “I wouldn’t have missed it for the world, you deserved it! 😁” The moment you hit send, a sense of relief washed over you.
It was a reminder that amidst the criticism, there were still those who appreciated your presence and celebrated your achievements.
You could almost hear Max’s laughter echoing in your mind, a sound that always seemed to lift your spirits.
Just as you were about to put your phone down, a new message popped up from Max. “You really made the night special! I’m glad you were there. Let’s catch up soon?”
His words filled you with warmth, and you could picture him grinning with alcohol still in his system, his eyes sparkling with enthusiasm.
“Absolutely! I’d love to,” you replied, feeling a renewed sense of purpose.
After setting your phone aside for the night, you drifted off to sleep, the soft hum of the world outside fading into a distant memory.
When you awoke, you were enveloped in a warm embrace, the kind that felt like home. Instantly, you recognized the familiar presence of Jake, his body radiating warmth against yours.
The scent of alcohol lingered in the air, a reminder of his previous night out with friends, a detail that both amused and concerned you.
A smile crept across your face as you turned to see him, his features relaxed and serene, a stark contrast to the tension that had marked his demeanor the night before.
Curiosity sparked within you, igniting a flurry of questions as you pondered where he had spent his time, what stories he might have to share, and whether the night had been as wild as you imagined.
You felt a rush of affection for him, a desire to know every detail of his adventures, to understand the man who had captured your heart so completely.
Despite the warnings from your friends urging you to reconsider your relationship, your feelings for him remained steadfast, unwavering like a lighthouse in a storm.
They claimed he was a source of trouble, a tempest that could jeopardize your career and stir up scandals that would ripple through your life.
Yet, deep down, you understood him better than they did, seeing the layers of his character that they overlooked. You believed in his integrity, in the goodness that lay beneath the surface, and you knew he wouldn’t intentionally cause chaos in your life.
Their concerns echoed in your mind, but they felt distant, like the sound of waves crashing against a far-off shore.
You were determined to forge your own path, to trust your instincts, and to embrace the love that had blossomed between you, even if it meant standing alone against the tide of skepticism.
Although your relationship was already in the public eye, with whispers and speculation swirling around you like autumn leaves caught in a gust of wind, he had yet to join you in the paddock due to his work commitments.
You felt a mix of anticipation and longing, a bittersweet ache in your chest as you navigated the bustling environment without him by your side.
As you glanced at your phone, the screen illuminated the early morning hour, signaling it was time for your daily jog.
You carefully extricated yourself from Jake's embrace, trying not to disturb his peaceful slumber.
Just as you were about to tiptoe out of the room, you caught a faint mumble escaping his lips, a mix of sleep and concern. “Where are you going?” he murmured, his voice thick with drowsiness.
You paused for a moment, torn between the urge to reassure him and the need to stick to your routine.
“I’m just going for a quick run, love. I’ll be back before you know it,” you replied softly, hoping to ease any lingering worries. His brow furrowed slightly, even in his sleep, as if he sensed your departure was more than just a morning ritual.
“You always run too early… what if someone sees you?” he muttered, a hint of jealousy creeping into his voice, even in his dreams.
With a gentle smile, you leaned down to plant a quick kiss on his forehead. “I’ll be fine, I promise. It’s just me and the open road. You know I love my morning jogs.”
You could feel the tension in the air, a familiar weight that often accompanied your outings. “Okay,” he finally said, though the uncertainty lingered in his tone.
You quickly changed into your jogging attire before stepping out of the house. With a sense of urgency, you slipped into your comfortable workout gear, ready to embrace the fresh air outside.
The fabric of your favorite moisture-wicking shirt clung to your skin, and the soft elastic of your running shorts felt familiar and reassuring.
You laced up your well-worn sneakers, the soles still resilient from countless miles, and took a moment to stretch your legs, feeling the anticipation build within you.
Once dressed, you felt the excitement of the run ahead, eager to hit the pavement and enjoy the rhythm of your feet against the ground.
The world outside beckoned, vibrant and alive, as you opened the door and stepped into the crisp morning air. The scent of dew-kissed grass and blooming flowers filled your lungs, invigorating your spirit.
You took a deep breath, letting the coolness wash over you, and with a quick glance at the sky, you noted the sun just beginning to rise, casting a golden hue across the horizon.
As you began to jog, the familiar cadence of your heartbeat matched the steady thump of your feet on the pavement. Each stride felt liberating, a release from the confines of the day-to-day.
You could feel the tension of the week melting away with every step, replaced by a sense of freedom and clarity.
The rhythmic sound of your breath mingled with the rustle of leaves and the distant chirping of birds, creating a symphony of nature that accompanied you on your journey.
As you were enjoying your morning jog through the park, the rhythmic sound of your feet hitting the pavement was suddenly interrupted by a group of enthusiastic voices.
A cluster of women and girls approached you, their faces lighting up with excitement. "Excuse me! Miss Y/N! Can we get your autograph?" one of them exclaimed, her eyes sparkling with admiration.
You paused, a bit surprised but also flattered, and smiled at the eager crowd. "Of course! I’d be happy to," you replied, pulling out a small notepad from your pocket.
Amid the chatter, a young girl stepped forward, her cheeks flushed with excitement. "I want to start go-karting because I want to be just like you!" she declared, her voice filled with determination.
You could see the passion in her eyes, and it warmed your heart. "That’s amazing! Go-karting is such a fun sport," you encouraged her. "What do you love most about it?"
The girl beamed, her confidence growing as she shared her dreams of racing and the thrill of speed. "I love the idea of being in control and going fast! It looks so cool!"
You nodded, feeling a sense of responsibility to inspire her. "You know, every champion starts somewhere. If you really want to do it, just keep practicing and never give up. Surround yourself with people who support you, and you’ll go far," you advised, hoping to instill a sense of belief in her.
The girl’s eyes widened, and she nodded vigorously. "I will! Thank you so much!"
As the group dispersed, you felt a renewed sense of purpose, realizing that your journey could inspire others to chase their dreams, just as you had. . . .
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As the days rolled on, the team decided to spice things up a bit before race week by organizing a fun game called "How Well Do You Know Each Other."
The idea was to not only entertain the fans but also to give everyone a glimpse into the camaraderie between you and Max.
You found yourself standing in front of the camera, a mix of excitement and nerves bubbling inside you, while Max lounged comfortably on the sofa behind you, his headphones snugly in place, unable to listen in.
The staff kicked off the game with a playful tone, "Alright, let’s start with you! The first question about Max is… what is Max's favorite food?" You grinned, confident in your knowledge of your teammate.
"Oh, I know this one! Max is a huge fan of both Italian and Dutch cuisine, while I personally lean more towards Spanish dishes," you replied, your voice filled with enthusiasm.
The crew chuckled, clearly enjoying the banter, and you could see Max nodding in agreement, a smirk on his face even though he didn't know what you said.
After a few more questions, it was time for the roles to reverse. You took a seat on the sofa, and Max stood in front of the camera, a playful glint in his eyes.
The staff asked him the same question, and he leaned forward, a teasing smile forming. "Well, I know my teammate pretty well! She loves her Spanish food, but I think she secretly wishes she could cook like an Italian chef," he joked.
"You better be getting this right, I wanna beat Charles and Carlos' record," you said, feeling the competitive in you to beat Ferrari's record of 18 out of 20 right.
Max only turned around and gave an okay sign since you couldn't hear him, adding a little small wink for the tease but it was caught on camera.
In the end, both you and Max aced all the questions, and the excitement bubbled over as you jumped up and down, your energy infectious. Max stood nearby, a wide grin spreading across his face as he watched your enthusiasm.
"See, everyone! Red Bull is clearly the superior team compared to Ferrari, so make sure to support us this week!" you exclaimed, wrapping up the video with a flourish.
As you turned to Max, you noticed he was still gazing at you, lost in thought. It took you by surprise.
"Max, do you want to add anything to what I just said?" you asked, a playful grin on your face as you nudged his shoulder gently.
Snapping back to reality, Max turned to the camera, a hint of sheepishness in his expression.
"Oh, umm, yeah… Red Bull domination, I guess?" he replied, his voice a mix of uncertainty and enthusiasm.
You couldn't help but burst into laughter at his response, and Max's smile widened, clearly pleased that he could make you laugh.
"Alright, everyone, that's a wrap! We'll catch you all soon. Fingers crossed for another P1-P2 finish, but maybe next time we can switch things up a bit," you said, waving enthusiastically at the camera.
As the camera clicked off, you turned to the crew with a warm smile, expressing your gratitude for their support. You shifted your focus to Max, who was standing nearby, a mix of anticipation and amusement on his face.
"Hey, Max," you began, a playful glint in your eye. "How does it feel to be the most compatible drivers on the grid?"
Max's eyes widened slightly at the phrase "most compatible," and you could see a hint of color rising to his cheeks. But as soon as he processed the word "driver," his expression shifted to one of mild disappointment.
"It feels nice, I guess," he replied, a smirk creeping onto his lips. "Just another thing to brag about to Lando, right?"
You chuckled, knowing how much Max loved to tease his fellow drivers. "Oh, absolutely! I can already picture it—Lando rolling his eyes while you go on about how you and I are the ultimate duo."
Max laughed, shaking his head. "He'll probably come up with some ridiculous comeback, like how he’s the best driver in the world or something."
"Well, he does have a knack for that," you said, leaning against the wall, enjoying the banter. "But let’s be honest, you two are like an old married couple. Always bickering but secretly caring for each other."
Max rolled his eyes dramatically. "Please, I’m not ready for that kind of commitment. I can barely handle my own sleeping schedule!"
Max shrugged, a hint of humility creeping into his demeanor. "But honestly, having you around makes it easier. You bring a different energy to the team."
You felt a warmth spread through you at his words. "Thanks, Max. That means a lot coming from you. I think we balance each other out pretty well."
He nodded, his expression thoughtful. "Yeah, it’s like we have this unspoken understanding. You know when to push me and when to let me breathe. It’s refreshing."
"Exactly! And it’s not just about racing; it’s about the camaraderie we build off the track too. Those late-night strategy sessions and the random moments of laughter—they all add up."
Max chuckled, recalling a particularly ridiculous moment from a previous race weekend. "Remember that time we got lost trying to find the catering tent? We ended up in that random fan zone instead!"
You burst out laughing, the memory flooding back. "Oh my god, yes! And those fans were so excited to see us, they thought we were there for a meet-and-greet! We ended up taking selfies with them for an hour."
"Right? And then we finally found the catering tent, only to discover they were out of your favorite pasta!" Max added, shaking his head in disbelief.
"That was a tragedy," you said, feigning a dramatic sigh. "But it turned into one of the best days. I wouldn’t trade those moments for anything."
Max’s gaze softened as he looked at you, a genuine smile breaking through. "Me neither. It’s those little things that make all the hard work worth it."
You both stood in comfortable silence for a moment, the camaraderie between you palpable. The atmosphere around the paddock buzzed with activity, but in that moment, it felt like you were in your own little world.
"Alright, enough of the mushy stuff," Max said, breaking the moment with a playful nudge. "Let’s get back to business. We’ve got a race to prepare for, and I can’t let you steal all my glory."
You laughed, shaking your head. "Oh, please! You know I’m just here to make you look good. Besides, I wouldn’t dream of overshadowing the reigning champion."
What you two didn't know was that the cameras didn't stop but recorded your little moment, which went viral in the few minutes that it was posted. . . . .
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You knew that the public would start shipping you and Max together sooner or later but you weren't bothered with it.
You had a boyfriend who you cared for deeply, someone who had been your rock through the ups and downs of your racing career. Yet, his reaction to the swirling rumors about you and Max took you by surprise.
You never imagined he would be so affected by the gossip that seemed to spread like wildfire through the paddock and beyond.
Here you were, caught in a web of emotions, torn between the thrill of a new chapter and the loyalty you felt towards your current relationship.
As you stepped through the door of your home, the familiar scent of your shared space enveloped you, but it did little to ease the tension that hung in the air.
You found Jake lounging on the couch, his eyes glued to his phone, the glow of the screen illuminating his furrowed brow. The atmosphere was thick with unspoken words, and you could sense that something was off.
“Hey, babe,” you greeted him, trying to sound cheerful despite the weight on your shoulders. He barely looked up, his fingers scrolling furiously, as if searching for answers in the digital chaos.
“Did you hear about you and Max?” he finally snapped, his voice laced with irritation, cutting through the silence like a knife. “It’s all over social media. Are you really going to let this get to you?”
You felt your heart sink; you had hoped for a different reaction, one that would reassure you that your relationship was strong enough to withstand the storm of rumors.
“Come on, it’s just rumors,” you replied, trying to keep your voice steady, though the tremor in it betrayed your inner turmoil. “You know I’m committed to only you.”
You watched as he shot you a skeptical glance, his jealousy bubbling to the surface like a volcano ready to erupt. “Yeah, but how can I trust you when you’re out there with him all the time? It’s not just a coincidence that everyone is talking about it.”
The words stung, and you took a deep breath. "Babe I love only you-"
"Please, don’t even think about it! You know I’m stuck here because if I walked away, your fans would make my life a living nightmare," Jake exclaimed, his voice laced with frustration.
The words hit you like a punch to the gut, leaving you reeling from the harsh reality of your situation.
It was as if he had taken a knife and twisted it, exposing the raw vulnerability you had tried so hard to hide.
You could feel the sting of tears welling up in your eyes, but you fought to keep them at bay. "I didn’t ask for any of this," you replied, your voice trembling slightly.
The weight of his words hung heavily in the air, and you could sense the tension between you growing thicker by the second. It was a battle of emotions, and you were losing ground.
He sighed, running a hand through his hair in frustration. "I know it’s not fair, but you have to understand the pressure I’m under. It’s not just about us; it’s about my career, my fans. I can’t let them down."
His eyes softened for a moment, revealing a glimpse of the man you fell in love with.
"But I don’t want to lose you. Can’t we find a way to make this work?" You pleaded.
"I don't know," he muttered, not lifting his eyes from his phone before standing up and walking past you to get his coat and shoes. "i'm gonna take a walk,"
This has been a pattern for weeks now. You would come home, he would start an argument then make up an excuse to leave the house, leaving you to either pick up his mess or go to sleep without your partner. To only wake up with him cuddling you in the morning and apologise for his action last night.
You were getting sick of it but you still love him too much to break up with him. . . .
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The days that followed were a blur of introspection and emotional turmoil. Each time you caught a glimpse of Jake’s name on your phone, a knot formed in your stomach.
You had always been the type to see the good in people, to believe that love could conquer all, but the reality of your situation was becoming harder to ignore.
The moments of tenderness were overshadowed by the growing unease that settled in your chest like a heavy stone.
You spent more time with Sarah, who seemed to sense your internal struggle. She filled your days with laughter and distraction, taking you out for coffee, long walks in the park, and movie marathons that kept your mind off the impending decision.
Yet, no matter how much you tried to push it aside, the thought of Jake lingered like a shadow, reminding you of the grip he had on your heart—and not in a way that felt safe or loving.
One evening, as you and Sarah sat on the balcony watching the sunset, the sky painted in hues of orange and pink, she turned to you again.
"Y/N, I know it’s hard, but you have to prioritize your happiness. You can’t keep living in this limbo," she said, her voice steady and unwavering.
You looked out at the horizon, the beauty of the moment contrasting sharply with the turmoil inside you.
"I know," you replied, your voice thick with emotion. "But what if I’m wrong? What if he really can change?"
The fear of making the wrong choice loomed large, a specter that haunted your thoughts.
"Change is possible, but it has to come from him, not from you hoping for it," Sarah said gently. "You can’t be the one to fix him. You’re not responsible for his happiness or his growth. You deserve to be with someone who respects you and makes you feel safe."
Her words struck a chord deep within you. You thought back to the last time he had gripped your arm, the way his eyes had darkened, and how you had brushed it off as a moment of frustration.
But now, in the light of day, you could see it for what it was—a warning sign that you had been too afraid to acknowledge.
That night, as you lay in bed, the silence of your room felt deafening. You replayed every moment of your relationship, the good and the bad, and slowly, the scales began to tip.
The holiday seemed to fly by in the blink of an eye, and soon you found yourself stepping into the paddock alongside Sarah and Jake.
As you walked, you could feel the tension in the air; Jake wore a strained smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes, gripping your hand a little too tightly.
“Hey, look at all the fans!” you exclaimed, trying to lighten the mood as you waved enthusiastically at the crowd, signing autographs for those who called out your name.
Sarah, taking a break from her hectic job, had decided to join you, her laughter ringing out like music amidst the bustling atmosphere.
“Isn’t this amazing?” you said, glancing at Sarah, who was snapping pictures with her phone. “I can’t believe how many people came out today!”
She nodded, her eyes sparkling with excitement. “It’s like a mini-celebration! But where’s your boyfriend? He seems a bit off today.”
You shrugged, trying to brush off the concern. “I don’t know, maybe he’s just tired. We haven’t really talked much since we got back.”
You stole a glance at him, who was still smiling, but it felt forced, like he was putting on a show for everyone around.
You made the decision to invite Jake into your driver’s room for a heart-to-heart conversation. As you settled into the familiar space, you turned to him with a gentle concern.
“Hey, are you doing okay?” you asked, your voice soft and inviting.
Jake looked at you, his expression a mix of regret and longing, as he wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling you closer. “I’m alright, really. I’m sorry for how I’ve been acting lately,” he replied, his tone sincere.
In that moment, you felt a rush of warmth; you had missed the comfort of his touch more than you realized.
“Jake, I need to let you know that I have to leave soon,” you murmured, trying to keep the conversation grounded. But he seemed lost in his own thoughts, his gaze intense and filled with desire.
“Why don’t you just quit your job already? I can take care of you, I promise,” he suggested, his voice dripping with temptation.
The idea hung in the air between you, and for a fleeting moment, you felt the pull of his offer.
It was tempting, but the passion you had for Formula 1 was a flame that burned too brightly to extinguish for anyone, even someone as captivating as Jake.
You took a deep breath, weighing your options. “Jake, you know how much this means to me. Formula 1 isn’t just a job; it’s my dream,” you replied, your heart heavy with the conflict.
He stepped back slightly, his expression shifting from desire to disappointment. “I get it, but can’t you see how much I care about you? I want us to be together, and I thought you felt the same way,” he said, frustration creeping into his voice.
You could see the struggle in his eyes, and it pained you to know that your passion for racing was creating a rift between you.
“I do care about you, but I can’t just walk away from everything I’ve worked for,” you insisted, hoping he would understand.
As you stand there, the tension weighs heavily in the air, palpable and thick, as Jake's frustration spills over, his voice tinged with a mix of hurt and desperation.
"But what about me?" he asks, his eyes searching yours for an answer that you know is difficult to provide. "Since you started this job, we haven’t done anything together. All you've been doing is hanging out with that Max boy. Don’t you see it?"
His words cut through the silence, piercing the surface of your mind and forcing you to confront the tangled web of your life that feels all too overwhelming at this moment.
As you gather your thoughts, aware that the job has transformed your priorities and the once-familiar relationship with Jake has shifted, you attempt to articulate your feelings, to bridge the widening chasm of misunderstanding.
"Jake—" you start, your voice tremulous, hoping to weave a delicate thread of connection that can pull you both back to a place of understanding, but he interjects, the intensity of his emotions propelling him forward before you can offer your perspective.
"I’ll show you—don't worry," he mutters, the frustration lacing his tone beginning to dissipate as he suddenly wraps his arms around you, pulling you close in a gesture that is both protective and possessive.
The warmth of his body against yours sends a shiver down your spine, a reminder of the bond you once cherished.
Feeling the urgency of the moment, his lips find yours, a kiss that ignites a flicker of hope amid the turmoil of doubt and fear swirling around you. . . .
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After the holiday break, you had started to act differently, almost as if a shadow had fallen over their usual camaraderie.
Whenever he approached to nudge her shoulder playfully, she would flinch, a look of surprise crossing her face as if she were bracing for something unpleasant.
It was a stark contrast to the easygoing banter they once shared, and he couldn't help but notice how she had become more withdrawn, often lost in her thoughts, her laughter replaced by a distant gaze.
He believed you were feeling down because the team was struggling to achieve the results they had hoped for.
Typically, his father would reach out to him after a disappointing race, sometimes even resorting to physical punishment if the outcome was particularly disheartening.
It was a routine he had come to accept, thinking it was a common experience shared by many.
However, everything changed when his therapist pointed out that not everyone endured such treatment, which sparked a rebellion within him against his father's harsh ways.
"Why do you always have to be so hard on me?" he had shouted one evening, frustration boiling over.
His father, taken aback, responded with a stern look, "Because I want you to be the best, Max. You need to learn that life isn’t always fair."
But Max felt differently; he wanted to be supported, not punished.
As he pondered your situation, he couldn't help but wonder if you had faced similar challenges.
"Do you have someone in your life who treats you badly?" he asked cautiously, trying to gauge your response.
Your eyes widened at the sudden question before you shook your head, a small smile breaking through the clouds of doubt.
"No, not like that. Everyone is really supportive of me these days."
Max felt a wave of relief wash over him, grateful that you had not been in that cycle of abuse he had been so familiar with.
In many of the recent races, both you and Max found yourselves finishing in the P2 to P4 range, or sometimes not making it to the podium at all, which left the team feeling quite disheartened.
The once-promising season had turned into a series of missed opportunities, and the weight of expectations began to take its toll on everyone involved.
The atmosphere in the garage was thick with tension, and the engineers were working overtime to analyze data and strategize for the next race, but the results were still falling short of what the team had hoped for.
This situation also prompted Max's father, Jos, to plan a visit during the race weekend. He intended to check in on his son and perhaps give him a much-needed reality check, quite literally.
As the race day approached, Jos observed his son engaging in cheerful conversation with you, rather than focusing on the engineers to gather crucial insights, a routine Max typically adhered to before a race.
This deviation from his usual pre-race preparation did not sit well with Jos.
He had always believed that the hours leading up to a race were critical for mental conditioning and strategy formulation. To see Max laughing and joking instead of poring over telemetry data or discussing race strategies with the engineers was concerning for him.
Jos's frustration grew as he watched the interaction unfold. He believed that your presence was a distraction, pulling Max away from the intense focus required for peak performance.
In his eyes, the bond you shared with his son was undermining Max's potential to excel on the track.
He felt that friendships weren't important and they should not come at the expense of Max's dedication to his craft.
Jos was determined to address this issue head-on, convinced that a serious conversation was necessary to realign Max's priorities. . . . .
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In the midst of a lively discussion filled with laughter and camaraderie, Jos abruptly interjected, "Max, I need to talk to you right now."
His tone cut through the jovial atmosphere, drawing the attention of both you and his son. The laughter faded, replaced by a sudden stillness as everyone turned to witness the unfolding scene.
Max's expression shifted from joy to disappointment as he glanced at you, yet he managed to offer a reassuring smile before reluctantly following his father away from the group.
"Yes, Father?" Max responded in Dutch, his voice tinged with curiosity and a hint of apprehension. The way he spoke suggested a mix of respect and wariness, as if he were bracing himself for a conversation he knew would be anything but easy.
Jos wasted no time in launching into his concerns, his words spilling out with a sense of urgency.
"You must distance yourself from that girl; she is a distraction that will hinder your performance in the race," he asserted, his tone firm and authoritative, as if he were delivering a decree rather than a request.
The weight of his words hung heavily in the air, a stark contrast to the lightheartedness that had just moments ago enveloped the gathering.
Max, however, was quick to defend you, his loyalty evident in the way he stood a little taller, his brow furrowing in determination. "No, she doesn't distract me, Father. She's my teammate," he stated, his voice steady and resolute.
The conviction in his tone reflected a bond that transcended mere friendship; it was a partnership built on shared goals and mutual respect.
Yet, as he spoke, the tension between father and son thickened, a palpable clash of wills that seemed to reverberate through the quiet space around them.
Jos, sensing the resistance in Max's voice, shifted his approach, employing subtle manipulation to sway his son’s perspective.
"Think about your future, Max. You have so much potential, and I only want what is best for you," he continued, his voice softening slightly, as if trying to appeal to Max's aspirations.
The words were carefully chosen, designed to instill doubt about your influence, to paint you as an obstacle rather than an ally.
Max hesitated, caught between his father's expectations and his own feelings.
The internal struggle was evident on his face, a flicker of uncertainty crossing his features as he grappled with the conflicting loyalties that tugged at his heart.
"It is evident in your results over the weeks, you've been falling off the high scores recently, hardly been able to reach third place because of that girl!" Jos stressed out and Max became quiet, letting those words sink in.
"Max, think about it," Jos continued, his tone shifting to one of persuasion. "You need to focus on your game and not let distractions get in the way. She's not worth it."
Max felt a mix of emotions swirling inside him. He had always admired his father's wisdom, but now he sensed a subtle manipulation at play. Jos was trying to steer him away from his feelings, and deep down, Max knew it.
Yet, the idea of disappointing his father loomed larger than his own desires.
"Okay, Father," Max finally replied, his voice barely above a whisper.
He felt a pang of regret as he agreed, but he couldn't shake the feeling that he was losing a part of himself in the process. As he walked away, he contemplated the choices ahead of him.
Was it worth sacrificing his happiness for the sake of competition?
As he walked away, the sound of his father's footsteps fading behind him, he contemplated the choices ahead of him.
The internal struggle was just beginning, and Max knew he had to find a way to balance his passion for the game with the complexities of his heart.
He thought of you—the woman who had sparked something within him, a light that had ignited a warmth he hadn't been able to feel like Daniel left.
After he began to distance himself from you, he noticed a change in your demeanor.
You seemed more withdrawn, putting on a facade of happiness with a constant smile that didn’t quite reach your eyes. You were hiding behind long-sleeved coats, even in the warm weather, creating a barrier between yourself and the world around you.
The vibrant laughter that once filled the air when you were together had been replaced by a silence that hung heavily between you, punctuated only by the occasional forced chuckle or polite nod.
Max could see the way your shoulders slumped slightly, as if the weight of unspoken words and unshared feelings was pressing down on you.
Your eyes, once bright with enthusiasm and mischief, now seemed clouded, reflecting a deep-seated sadness that you tried so hard to conceal.
He remembered the long pointless conversations, the dreams you both had shared, and the plans that now felt like distant memories. It pained him to witness your struggle, yet he felt powerless to bridge the growing chasm between you.
Despite the guilt that gnawed at him, Max couldn’t help but recognize a shift in his own performance on the racetrack.
He found himself consistently finishing on the podium, a stark contrast to your struggles as you remained trapped within the top ten.
Each trophy he lifted felt heavier than the last, a reminder of the friendship that had once fueled his passion for racing.
He could hear the cheers of the crowd, feel the adrenaline coursing through his veins, but all he could think about was how you used to be there, celebrating alongside him, your face alight with pride and joy.
While he celebrated his achievements, he couldn’t shake the feeling that something important was missing.
The camaraderie they once shared seemed to slip further away with each passing race, leaving him to wonder if the price of success was worth the cost of their connection.
He often found himself glancing over at the empty spot in the pit where you used to stand, your eyes sparkling with encouragement, your voice ringing out with advice that had always kept him grounded.
As the races continued, Max felt a growing urgency to reach out, to break through the walls you had built around yourself.
But his father kept him grounded and not letting that thought come to life anytime soon. . . .
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As you maneuver through the winding turns of the racetrack, adrenaline surges through your veins, a heady blend of focus and exhilaration.
"Joseph, what's the gap to Max?" you inquire, your voice steady despite the chaos enveloping you as you glance at the rearview mirror, noticing Charles's fierce pursuit as he falls into your peripheral vision, momentarily eclipsed by your recent strategic overtaking maneuver.
"2.3 seconds in front of you, Y/N," Joseph replies, his tone equally crisp yet slightly strained, hinting at the intensity of the moment.
The hum of the engine, the vibrations of the car, and the distant roar of the crowd blend into a symphony of speed, and as you negotiate the track, your mind sharpens with determination.
You consider your next move with meticulous care, knowing that a split-second decision could alter the course of the race.
Holding tightly to the steering wheel, you then ask, “Do I have permission to take over?”
Pause hangs in the air like a fragile breath, and you can almost anticipate Joseph's reply, especially given the longstanding tradition wherein hesitance often blankets these life-altering decisions.
Sure enough, after a fleeting silence, you prepare for the inevitable response that would echo in your ears like an unwelcome refrain, one you were all too familiar with.
But just as you brace yourself for a “no,” the radio crackles to life again—this time with a tidal wave of unexpected urgency.
"Yes! Y/N? Can you hear me? The team has approved the overtake of Max! Go for it!" Joseph’s voice bursts through with a burst of energy, jolting you from your reverie.
Instinctively, your foot plunges onto the accelerator as you channel every ounce of skill, focus, and ambition into propelling yourself forward.
You swiftly navigate the corner, your car gliding through the air like a bird released from captivity, and in that moment of pure adrenaline, you find yourself eclipsing Max, reclaiming the lead with undeniable ferocity.
As you settle into your newfound position at first place, the tension morphs into an exhilarating electrification coursing through your body.
Max, having momentarily lost his grip on the lead, now battles to fend off Charles and Lando from making any hazardous moves that might threaten your dominion at the front.
In the heat of the moment, the radio blaring with strategic updates fades into the background as your vision narrows solely on the track ahead—you are a race car driver, a gladiator in this battle of speed, and nothing else matters.
The world dissolves into monochrome, your focus unwavering as you grip the wheel like it’s a lifeline.
Distant cheers from the crowd seep through your concentration, yet you silence those voices, drowning out distractions as you become acutely aware of the weight of the race, the dreams that hang delicately in the balance—everything is at stake.
You feel sweat trickling down your temple and a syrupy mix of anticipation and fear soaring through your chest, but as you approach the final laps, triumph struggles to emerge from the depths of your hardwork.
Amidst the exhilarating distractions, your attention sharpens when you catch a faint echo of Joseph’s voice cutting through the chatter. "Y/N! You did it! You won!"
The joyous eruption on the other end floods your senses with disbelief, a tidal wave of emotions crashing over you.
In that electrifying moment, as you maintain your grip on the wheel for the last few seconds, reality begins to wash over you like an exhilarating wave, and the tears you could feel brewing now threaten to spill, your triumph intertwining with your vulnerability.
With the checkered flag waving triumphantly in the air, you ease down on the accelerator, the sensation of victory swelling inside you as you let a muffled cry of delight escape your lips.
You slow your car and finally breathe, releasing all the pent-up energy, as the realization of your success resonates in every fiber of your being.
"You did it, Y/N! You won the grand prix!" Joseph's voice dances through the radio, resonating with an infectious glee.
A burst of laughter escapes your lips, and for the first time, the roar of the crowd—a melodic blend of cheers—warms your heart.
As you roll to a stop, the world around you crescendos into a celebration of your harrowing journey—each twist, each turn, each heartbeat racing in sync with the rhythm of victory.
The moment is surreal, and as you step out of the car, you are not just a racer anymore; you are a triumphant force that turned dreams into reality, and no title could encapsulate the pride swelling within you.
You parked the car in front of the first-place stand, your heart racing as the adrenaline coursed through your veins. Stepping out of the vehicle, you took a moment to absorb the victory that had just unfolded; it was surreal, almost like a scene plucked from your wildest dreams.
You stood on the hood of your car, exhilaration bubbling up inside you as you raised your fists in triumph, thrusting them into the air with a euphoric fist bump that echoed your unrestrained joy.
The cheers of the crowd swirled around you, a chorus of celebration, and for a heartbeat, the entire world felt like it paused in honour of your hard-fought achievement.
The weight of every early morning, every late night, every moment spent honing your driving in the shadows now seemed beautifully light, overshadowed by the sheer thrill of the moment.
As you jumped off the car with a renewed sense of vitality, you sprinted toward your team, their faces lit up with genuine happiness.
It marked a pivotal moment, one where they no longer treated you as fragile or merely a woman in a male-dominated sport; instead, they embraced you like a teammate, a winner.
You felt the warmth of their hugs wrapping around you, their joy infectious in a way that washed away any lingering doubts you had ever held about your place in this fierce and demanding environment.
“I can’t believe we did it!” you exclaimed, looking around at their beaming faces, heart swelling.
Some laughing tears glistening in their eyes, as they crowded around you, lifting you momentarily off your feet, celebrating not only your victory but the growth of a team bound together by perseverance and shared dreams.
Max eventually pulled up in front of the second-place station, his car’s engine rumbling to a soft stop just a few feet away from you. He stepped out, the sunlight catching the edges of his helmet as he removed it, revealing a look of pure delight plastered across his face.
It was a sight that brightened your heart; his genuine smile mirrored your own, a silent acknowledgment of the fierce competition that had just transpired on the track.
You could hardly control the emotions that swelled within you. With an impulsive rush, you charged toward him, unable to contain the joy of your victory.
In a flurry of excitement, you leaped into his arms, a spontaneous act born from the adrenaline still dancing through your body. He caught you effortlessly, his hands cradling your back protectively, and in that moment, the world shrank down to just the two of you.
“I won!" you declared, breathless, your voice a mixture of disbelief and sheer happiness, as if saying it out loud might make the victory feel more real.
A grin split Max's face wider, and you could see the pride sparkling in his eyes. “Yeah, you won! Congratulations!" he echoed, his voice turning melodic with the thrill of your accomplishment.
His embrace tightened around you, and you melted into the moment, filled with a sense of camaraderie and respect that had blossomed between you two over the course of your racing journeys.
As he set you back on your feet, laughter bubbled up once again, infectious and wildly free.
"I hope I didn't catch you off guard with that leap," you admitted, a hint of embarrassment creeping into your voice as you took a sip from your drink.
"Not at all! I’m just thrilled for you," Max replied, his cheeks flushed with excitement as he gave you a friendly pat on the back.
After the interview with the top three winners, you, Max, and Charles settled into the conference room, the atmosphere buzzing with excitement as the race replay flickered on the screen. The tension was palpable as the footage captured the thrilling moments of the competition.
"Wow! That was such a turn!" Charles exclaimed, wiping the sweat from his brow, clearly still feeling the adrenaline from the race.
He was referring to the intense maneuver where he nearly overtook Lando, a moment that had everyone on the edge of their seats.
As the race continued to unfold on the screen, you found yourself lost in thought, your mind racing with the events that had just transpired.
You focused on your breathing, trying to calm the whirlwind of emotions swirling inside you. You had actually won.
Max, sitting beside you, noticed your silence and turned his attention toward you, his eyes filled with concern.
"Hey, are you alright?" he asked softly, breaking the tension in the room. His voice was steady, a comforting presence amidst the chaos of the race replay.
You nodded slowly, appreciating Max's concern but still feeling the weight of the moment. "Yeah, just processing everything," you replied, your voice barely above a whisper.
After the conference wrapped up, the divers were given the freedom to either retreat to their driver’s rooms or celebrate with their teams and families.
However, the atmosphere was tinged with concern. The race winner was notably absent, and everyone had been eagerly anticipating a celebration for your first victory.
But after you dashed out of the conference room in a flurry, you seemed to vanish without a trace.
Everyone, especially Max, who had reached out to congratulate you repeatedly, was waiting, eager for you to join them in the festivities.
Max had noticed your absence almost immediately after the conference ended. The smile that had danced on his lips dimmed when you didn't join the team to celebrate; he frequently glanced toward the driver’s room, a sense of unease gnawing at his gut.
The more he thought about it, the more his concern deepened; it wasn't like you to shy away from such moments of triumph.
As teammates and family began to cheer and revel in the evening's wins, Max made the decision to search for you.
His quest took him to the paddock and then to your garage, but each passing minute only heightened his worries. "Where could you be, Y/N?" he murmured to himself, frustration lacing his voice as he traversed the familiar paths of the circuit, searching desperately for a glimpse of you.
His heart raced with anxiety; he couldn't shake the feeling that something was wrong.
Finally, his gaze landed on the door of your driver's room, slightly ajar, like a whisper beckoning him to enter. Without a second thought, he approached and knocked gently, "Y/N, are you in there?"
Listening intently, he leaned closer to the door and was met with faint whimpers that sent a chill down his spine.
Panic surged through him.
This wasn’t just a moment of celebration for you; it felt like a cry for help, echoing through the cold corridor.
Without waiting for a response, he pushed the door open wider, bracing himself for whatever he might find—though nothing could have prepared him for the sight that met his eyes when the door creaked open.
The scene unfolded before him like a nightmare; your so-called boyfriend stood menacingly above you, his hand raised as if poised to strike, while your frail form displayed clear signs of distress—your face bruised, tears streaming down your cheeks, eyes wide with a mixture of fear and disbelief.
Time seemed to freeze for a moment as he took stock of the situation, the cruel contrast of celebration outside and the terrifying reality inside your room.
"What the hell is going on here?" Max's voice cut through the air, laced with fury as he stepped into the room, instinctively placing himself between you and the looming threat.
In that instant, your boyfriend's grip on your collar slackened, surprise washing over his features as he turned to face Max.
“Stay out of this, Max! This has nothing to do with you,” your boyfriend snarled, his bravado faltering under the sudden scrutiny.
But Max remained steadfast, stepping closer, his presence commanding as he glared at the man who had dared to raise a hand against you.
“You’re wrong. It has everything to do with me. Y/N is my friend, and I won’t let you hurt her,” he replied, his voice steady yet filled with palpable tension.
Your eyes met Max's, a flicker of hope igniting amidst despair, and despite everything, the warmth of that friendship washed over you.
Max's voice echoed through the room, a mix of frustration and urgency. "You need to leave now!" he shouted, his eyes locked onto your boyfriend, who stood there with clenched fists and a scowl that could cut glass.
The tension in the air was palpable, thick enough to slice through. Your boyfriend hesitated, his anger simmering just beneath the surface, but something in Max's tone made him reconsider.
"Fine," he finally muttered, his voice low and filled with resentment. "I’ll go, but this isn’t over."
With that, he stormed out, slamming the door behind him, leaving you and Max in a heavy silence.
“Max, please…” you managed to choke out, your voice hoarse as the fear and pain slowly ebbed. “I just…I just wanted to celebrate, but I didn’t know who I could trust. I thought…”
Your voice faltered as the tears resumed their steady flow. Max's gaze softened as he turned back to you, the protective barrier he had formed in front of you embodying more than just physical defense.
“You can trust me, Y/N,” he said firmly, his expression shifting to one of concern.
With Max's unwavering support behind you, the resolve within you began to build.
“Thank you,” you whispered, your voice trembling, but a hint of strength colored your tone.
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ennabear · 3 months ago
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− ⌗ CATALINA ISLAND ⊹∿
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cw: catalina!abby/mamabear!abby/loser!abby/sub!abby, yara mention (i’m sorry… we miss u babygirl), slight themes of homophobia but nothing too heavy, post-pillars timeline so abby has short hair and no muscles, abby falls first but reader falls harder, tribbing eventually… 🙏 (not proofread)
wc: 6.0k
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quite vividly does abby remember the first time she saw you. bright overhead lights stabbed through her vision, gloved fingers and cold metal tools poked and prodded at her extremely burnt, extremely sensitive skin. but not you, you were gentle with her. speaking in a hushed voice that comforted the dull ache crawling up her head, hands keeping their distance from her sore and aching body.
she felt at ease. for the first time in… months? years? decades? suddenly the weight of previous events didn’t seem so heavy. she felt lighter, calmer, unafraid. but maybe it was just the morphine making her feel this way, because she passed back out minutes after having this epiphany.
“abby…” the boy whispered. she didn’t hear it, too deep in her slumber to respond.
“abbyyyyyy, wake up.” he pleaded. nudging her sides and arms in an attempt to wake her. still, her rest was uninterrupted.
“ABBY!” he finally shouted, yanking her braid in despair.
“j’sus christ, lev, wha’ddyou want?” she yawned. one benefit of living out at sea was that there were never any threats out there. other than the occasional storm, they were completely safe, and abby could let her guard down for the first time in what felt like forever.
“come look at the stars with me.” he demanded, pointing to the front of the boat.
“are you serious?” abby asked, somewhat furious she got woken up for this, but could she blame him? his childlike wonder provided a refreshing new perspective. and as abby always said, lev used to live under a rock, so she was always happy to introduce him to new things, although his lack of general knowledge sometimes startled her.
“come on, please?” he added. “i’ve never seen them so bright before, pleaseee?”
abby huffed and got up, grabbing her blanket and taking it with her, already predicting lev would be shivering in an instant. and she was right. somehow, in the middle of the pacific ocean, the sun beating down on them for 12 hours a day, lev was always cold.
she took a seat on the deck next to him, wrapping the blanket around the two of them as they stared up into the sky. it was beautiful, she had to admit. it was hard to see the stars this clearly on land, and seeing the whole galaxy like this was such a treasure. it never stopped, no buildings or mountains concealing the sky, it was just pure space for miles.
they were silent for a while, lev looking up at the night sky with wide eyes, and abby still trying to shake the sleepiness from her mind.
“…abby?” lev asked after a while.
“yeah?” she responded.
“do you believe in a god?”
she debated this for a while. what a tricky question. did she want to believe? yes. 1,000%. but did she believe? … did she? does she? will she?
“i’m not sure.” she says. “no, i guess not.”
“i do. and i think that’s where yara is right now.”
oh. abby’s face falls, it’s always tough to think about lev’s sister. sure, she died a hero, but she shouldn’t have. she was so young, so strong, so determined, intelligent, kind, strategic, resilient. abby never knew her very well, but she replays the conversation she had with yara quite often. she wishes so badly she could’ve saved her, but at the end of the day it’s permanent. a script written in ink, a final decision.
if there is a god, i swear i’m gonna kill him she thinks.
“do you see that star?” lev asks, pointing up to an extra luminescent star twinkling brighter than the rest of them. “i think that’s her.” he continues. “and she’s always with us.”
abby huffs a laugh and stands, returning back to bed. “i don’t believe in all that.”
lev has no choice but to chase after her if he wants the warmth of the blanket back, so he does. “maybe your dad is up there too.” he states truthfully, climbing into bed next to her. her arms wrap around him as she settles back into slumber. “maybe,” she says. “or maybe he’s just gone.”
“do you ever miss him?” lev asks.
“every day. more than anything.” and suddenly she’s asleep again.
“abby?”
“abby?” …..
“ABBY!” the voice asks again, and suddenly she’s wide awake. she’s not on the boat with lev anymore, instead she’s… in a hospital? or an office? somewhere too bright that smells too much of disinfectant.
“it was just a dream,” you soothe, shushing her pained whimpers and cries. “you can go back to sleep if you’d like.”
she looks over to you, one of the sweetest sights she’s ever seen. “i’ve seen you before.” she whispers.
you smile and pat her hands, abby is one of your favorite patients. being on narcotics for weeks makes for an easy client, all you really do is change her bandages and occasionally silence her night terrors. you’ve actually gotten to know her quite well from her… son? you still don’t know the full story on that, apparently she betrayed the entire washington liberation front to adopt him and his sister, and that she’s been a better caretaker to him than his biological mother ever has been. but you can see in her youthful features that she’s still young. too young to be a mother. and lev cringes at the thought of calling her mom.
“where am i?” she asks, voice gravelly from being asleep for so long.
“catalina island critical care unit.” you respond gently. “or, CICCU, but i don’t wanna confuse you with too many letters.”
“where’s lev?” she asks frantically, suddenly fully aware that she’s not in the same room as him right now.
“he’s okay. sleeping. it’s pretty late.”
“was i talking?” she asks, cringing at the thought of someone as perfect as you listening to her blabber in her sleep.
“no, not this time. but i always prefer your talking over your screaming.” you joke.
“what do i talk about?” she asks, although not sure she wants to hear the answer.
“lev mostly. sometimes others, usually ‘manny’ and ‘alice’.”
“oh.” she sighs. she feels so much better compared to the night she first saw you. was that when she arrived? whatever, she can’t remember anything other than you. her muscles aren’t sore anymore, her skin feels cooler and softer, finally.
“you should go back to sleep.” you say. “your body needs the rest, and i’m not really supposed to be talking to my patients anyways.”
she raises an eyebrow at this. “why’s that?”
“my social skills are no good, that’s why they put me on the night shift. i’m not sweet or gentle enough for daytime caretaking.”
blasphemy. you? not sweet or gentle? this is the first time in her whole life she’s felt truly comfortable, and it’s all because of you. she closes her eyes, willing herself to get more rest before she sees you again.
her daytime nurse fucking sucks. she’s an old lady with a scratchy voice, not deep and smooth like yours. and she’s mean. abby always catches her talking shit about other doctors at the hospital, and it’s not even normal stuff like gossip or personal experience and whatnot, she takes real jabs at the people in the community, coming for their looks and personalities. worst of all, the mean nurse hates you.
she always chatters on about how you can never do your job correctly, and apparently you’re wasting all of god’s honor by not being married yet. but it’s not until the mean nurse mentions “sleeping around with… females…” that she finally listens to what the mean nurse is saying, and she has a strong feeling she relates to you just fine.
abby sighs in relief when you walk in for your night shift. you catch this, giggling a little “what was that about?”
“i hate the other nurse.” she pouts, grimacing at the thought of seeing her again when dusk turns to dawn.
“who, dr. cosby?” you ask.
“yeah, if that’s her name.”
“i don’t like her either,” you admit. “but she’s the only one completely trained in full time caretaking.”
“do you have to work with her?” abby asks, growing slightly defensive over you. she’s gotten to know you over the past few days, too, and you’ve been able to fill in some of the gaps from the stories lev has told you.
“yeah, almost every day. she’s kinda like my boss since she’s training me, but she doesn’t pay me or anything… which kinda makes it worse. i feel like i deserve an extra paycheck for putting up with her.” you laugh.
abby still can’t get over your laugh, the sweet, deep giggles that seem to float out of you like bubbles. abby doesn’t realize this yet, but she has a huge crush on you.
“anyways, you’re supposed to be asleep, anderson.” you accuse, pointing a jokingly angry finger at her.
“yeah, yeah, i know.” she says, sighing deeply. “but i missed you, and i wanted to see you again after the mean nurse.”
“that’s sweet.” you start. “but if the mean nurse finds out you haven’t been sleeping because of me, i’m fired. and they’ll replace me with someone worse.”
abby laughs, pulling a pillow over her face to cover her giggles, and falls into another restful sleep after a few minutes.
she manages to survive a few more days with dr. cosby. or, the mean nurse, in the vocabulary the two of you share. the only thing that makes it bearable is knowing she’ll see you every night, and lev even visits her sometimes. tonight is different, though, because you don’t walk in at 9:00 pm when you’re regularly scheduled. dr. cosby does. abby groans audibly, she wishes she would’ve done it louder. well, she wishes she could scream in dr. cosby’s face, but she isn’t trying to get kicked out of the CICCU before she’s fully healed.
“usual nurse is out.” the mean nurse spits. ‘usual nurse’? so she can’t find the courtesy to learn your name?
“out where?” abby questions.
“on a… date.” she hisses.
oh shit, abby grins. a date with a woman i bet. dr. cosby isn’t happy about that.
and then it hits her.
oh shit… abby frowns. you’re on a date with someone else right now. you decided to spend the night with another woman, ditching your usual visits with abby. this hurts. her heart twists with jealousy, suddenly the room is spinning, and she has to turn and face the wall before dr. cosby can catch her weeping into her blanket like a little kid.
abby hasn’t seen you once since the night before your date. when the mean nurse comes back in the morning, she discharges abby and orders a soldier to escort her to the lodge she and lev are to share. so that’s it? she’s never gonna see you again? lev is out at school when she gets there, so abby has the whole place to herself until he gets back. she finds herself staring into the mirror for an unhealthy amount of time. christ, she looks different. her hair is short and choppy, although it’s gotten longer since she’s arrived. her muscles are almost completely gone. whatever the lack of training couldn’t remove, malnutrition withered away. she has scars all over her face and arms, her skin is still bumpy and blistered from the overexposure to the california sun. she looks… smaller? not tall and buff and scary anymore, but weak. fragile. she doesn’t look like abby. and that’s a terrifying thought.
she spends about an hour in the shower, scrubbing the hospital scent off of her skin and running her fingers through her short hair. she decides to spent the rest of the day orienting herself in this new space. she’s never lived in a real house before, and she feels like an alien trying to do so. lev finds her laying on the couch, studying the bumps and ridges in the ceiling.
“abby?” he calls from the doorway, slinging his backpack off of his shoulders. the poor kid almost cries when he sees her, out of excitement or fear, nobody knows. abby tries to pick him up as he throws himself at her body, but she can’t anymore. she doesn’t have the strength with how much she’s been weakening and how much lev has been growing. this crushes her even more, but she settles for a firm squeeze to the kid, and realizes how much her ribs do still hurt.
she doesn’t sleep well that night, it’s not the same without you. she misses your heavy voice lulling her to sleep and the euphoria she got from laughing with you. something deep and heavy settles in her stomach when she remembers you now spend your nights with someone else. she’s jealous. and she’s sad. overwhelmed from being in such a new place. and she misses you. and tonight when she sleeps, it’s dreamless and restless and leaves her even more exhausted.
you miss abby. you didn’t know the night you were gone would be the night she got discharged, and you wonder if this is a coincidence or if it’s some evil plan from dr. cosby. your date wasn’t even a date anyways. the girl you were meeting showed up to the diner, but left after a few minutes after saying she needed to freshen up. you saw her leave out of the back door. so you snacked on soggy fries and day-old fish until you got fed up and went home and cried into your pillow. was dr. cosby right? are you really not likable? to make matters worse, now that abby is gone you don’t have any more easy patients. you have to take care of a snappy old man who was in a boating accident. nobody can tell if he’s suffering from brain damage or if he’s just stupid, and it’s starting to drive you mad.
you miss abby. you miss watching her sleep, how her sweet face would contort into an expression of pure bliss as she finally had a peaceful dream, and how sometimes she would reach out and hold your hand for a few hours while she slept. she might be the only person on this whole island who likes you.
you two don't run into each other for about a month. the community you live in is small, but the whole island is divided into communities of about the same size. abby is sentenced to a desk job, something she'd never seen herself doing. she spends all day crunching numbers, scribbling things down on various documents and punching in even more symbols on her calculator. she's surprisingly good at it, her brain works efficiently and she's incredible at finding mistakes and working through them. lev teases her about becoming a nerd, but he's the one who voluntarily stays after school for tutoring, so she teases him right back.
you run into her right before one of your shifts, picking up a prescription from the pharmacy and dropping by her workplace to pick up some more documents. you freeze in your tracks when you see her, awkwardly blurting out an "abby! wow, uh... you look good."
and it's true. she looks better than good, she's glowing. her hair looks softer and fluffier now that it's not matted from the pillows, her skin is clearing up and restoring its natural color (which is a lot more peaceful than the burnt red it was), and she looks fuller. not nearly as big and muscular as she used to be, but she's started to gain some weight back and finally doesn't look tiny. abby notices you staring, taking in her new appearance. "thanks... so do you." she chuckles.
"i didn't know they cleared you to work." you stammer. actually, you didn't know anything about her ever since she was suddenly good to go, which you've decided is definitely dr. cosby's fault. so the two of you spend the rest of the night chatting and catching up with one another. she tells you about her job, her house, and how good lev is doing in school. you tell her about some of your newest patients, and when she asks about your date, you find pleasure in telling her that it was terrible. abby feels giddy after hearing this, not that she gets a kick out of your humiliation, but she's happy to know that you're single, and that you regret ditching her that night.
the time completely slips away from both of you, and before you know it you're an hour late for work. "shit!" you jump. "god, i'm sorry. i gotta go, i'm about to get fired!" you cry as you run down the hallway and out of the building. she laughs at this, tidying up her desk before clocking out and waking herself home. she sleeps very well that night, knowing that you're single and that you're willing to be late to work just to talk to her.
she greets you two days later with coffee outside of your office. "glad to see you didn't get fired." she jokes, you roll your eyes. "if i get written up one more time i'm done for." neither of your bosses are in today, so you finally have some peace to do your job without being yelled at. when you're not meeting with a patient, you let abby follow you around like a lost puppy, you notice how soft her hands have become when you grab them and tug her along next to you.
"thanks?" she mutters, cheeks sparkling with a pretty pink blush.
"oh, shit, i didn't mean to say that out loud." you cringe. "but it's true. they're very soft."
abby blushes impossibly more at this, so you like her hands? does that... mean anything? you're so forward with her it makes her a little dizzy, it's hard to keep up with your subtle flirtatious remarks when she can barely look at you without stuttering and tripping over herself. you're like a savior to her. you are her savior, if you didn't patch her up after her and lev had arrived, would she still be here? if she didn't get eaten alive by an infection she might've offed herself after the countless exhausting interactions with the mean nurse.
“how did you know how i take my coffee?” you ask suddenly. abby doesn’t know how to answer. well, she does, actually. but she’s too shy to say that sometimes she’d wake up and watch you while she was supposed to be sleeping. you’d place your coffee cup on her nightstand and flick on the lamp next to it, and then instantly stick your nose in a book. when she got done studying your face, she memorized the books you liked and the coffee you drank.
“if you’re stalking me, i won’t be upset.” you joke. abby laughs awkwardly, still calculating her answer in her mind.
“i dunno, i just know you, i guess.” she finally responds.
“fair, but now i feel bad because i don’t know how you take your coffee.” you frown. she chuckles, dismissing your concern.
“no, seriously. i feel like i barely know you, and i miss getting to know you ever since the mean nurse discharged you the night i was out.” you tell her. she can’t see where you’re going with this, so she just freezes and waits for you to make it obvious. “we should go out for coffee sometime. this weekend, maybe, if you’re free.”
are you asking her on a date? platonically or romantically? do you actually like her as much as she likes you? abby stares at the ground as she thinks about what to say again. “if you don’t want to, that’s okay.” you smile. “i won’t be offended.”
“i-” she starts, trying to speak deliberately as to not stumble over her words. “i do want to. that would be really great.”
you plant a kiss on her cheek as she turns to leave, heading to her own job instead of yours. she barely registers it, giggling and swatting you away before realizing that you kissed her. she halts her stroll when she finally processes it, reaching her fingers up to feel over the spot your lips pressed to. her cheeks turn beet red as she replays what happened, and fuck, she wants you to do it again. she debates running back into the hospital to beg for another kiss, but decides not to make a fool of herself. not today, at least.
her shift passes in what feels like forever. she wants to see you again, she wants it to be the weekend so badly. curse the calendar for deeming today a thursday, and curse your work schedule for not letting you go on a date with her now.
she clocks out excitedly as soon as her shift is over, practically jogging home to meet lev for dinner. they eat on the couch, watching some old dvd of a pre-breakout day cartoon. lev falls asleep as the show crawls on, so she has to face the disappointment of shaking him awake, wishing she still had the strength to pick him up. she watches as he waddles with all ten of his blankets to his bedroom, and then collects the dishes to scrub them off in the sink.
just as sleep is about to take her, she bolts awake with a great idea. shoving her shoes on, she jogs back out of the door, practically sprinting to the hospital to catch you before you clock in for the night. when you see her standing behind you, you jump backwards and yelp, almost knocking over a cart full of needles. “god, abby!” you curse. “you scared the shit outta me.”
“sorry…” she smiles sheepishly, a look you’ve grown to love.
“what are you doing here?” you question. “are you hurt?”
“no, i just wanted to see you. i couldn’t sleep, if that counts as an ailment.” she says, lying through her teeth. she was about to sleep soundly knowing your date was only in a few days.
“well, i’m glad to know you’re okay, but you really need to work on prioritizing your sleep.” you scold her, but you can’t help but melt at the dopey smile on her lips.
“yes, doctor.” she laughs, rolling her eyes. “are we still on for this weekend?”
“of course, if you’re not a zombie by the time we get to saturday.” you smile, nudging her with your elbow.
“alright, sorry,” she sighs theatrically. “i guess i’ll leave you alone now.”
“i’m sorry for kissing you on the cheek earlier.” you blurt out, although you probably should just let the moment be. “it was just… muscle memory i guess.”
“muscle memory?” she asks, dumbfounded.
“i dunno, sorry, it was definitely inappropriate. but you used to ask me for a small peck whenever i woke you up from your night terrors. i’d be surprised if you remember it, though. we had you on some pretty hefty meds.”
abby has always had trouble sleeping. as a kid, she’d have terrible nightmares that she couldn’t wake up from on her own. her dad would nudge her awake, and then soothe her back to sleep with a firm kiss on the cheek. it helped every time, and she slept like a baby knowing her dad would protect her. after he passed, the nightmares were more frequent, and there was no one to calm her down once she woke.
that must’ve been why she’d wake up screaming, eyes open yet unable to focus as you calmed her down to the best of your ability. you’d take her heart rate and blood pressure to make sure nothing was out of the ordinary, and then stroke her short hair while she fell back to sleep. she’d huff and kick for the first few minutes, and then reach out for your hand, guiding it to the apple of her cheek. you thought at first she wanted something cool against her burning skin, but once you moved your hand away, she demanded a kiss in a raspy and very delirious voice.
“no, it’s okay, really.” she assures you. “it’s a comfort thing i used to do with my dad. you don’t need to feel bad, i promise.”
“go to sleep, princess abby.” you demand again. “i’ll see you saturday.”
with a smirk, abby turns and walks back out the door she came in. she slips back through her front door as silently as she can, and falls asleep thinking about all the ways she’s embarrassed herself in front of you. how many more times can she do it? and how long until she cuts the shit and admits her feelings for you?
saturday comes quicker than abby would like. ever since that night, she couldn’t help but fret about your feelings toward her. did you really kiss her out of muscle memory, or did you genuinely want to? her heart warmed at the sweet gesture of you soothing her back to sleep on the nights her dreams were infiltrated with death and fear and abandonment, but did you do that with all of your patients?
she tried to ignore these thoughts as they came up, but it was nearly impossible to. she dressed herself in a beige sweater and a pair of jeans, tucking her hair behind her ears and accessorizing with a black hair clip. she looks gorgeous. it’s hard not to faint when you see her, the fluttering in your stomach keeping you on your feet.
the pair of you sit tucked away in a cafe booth, chatting away like time isn’t real. you’re surprised to learn that abby knows quite a bit about medicine, the knowledge coming from her father who was a doctor too. she tells you stories of her childhood, and you can see the resemblance between her and her dad, she treats lev just as well as her dad treated her. you don’t mention this, though, because you can tell she’s starting to tear up the more she talks about him.
when the conversation slows down, you decide to bite the bullet and ask her something that’s been on your mind. “abby? can i ask you something?”
“shoot.” she says.
“do you… like me?” you try. “i mean— i dunno. i’ve never really had friends before, not like you. i guess i just wanna know if you enjoy hanging out with me, or if you’re just doing this because i seem desperate.”
“of course i like you.” she affirms. “i’ve never met anyone as sweet or as gentle as you, and i’ve met a lot of people.”
“okay, cool. good. i like you too.” you say, reaching out to grab her hand that’s resting on the table. she smiles and squeezes your hand, looking deeply into your eyes.
“do you wanna get out of here?” you ask.
sand fills the holes in your shoes as the two of you stroll the beach hand in hand. abby still has that giddy feeling in her stomach, although she still can’t tell if you’re actually into her or if you just wanna be friends. you did mention just friends earlier, but you’re also holding her hand sweetly in yours.
you don’t know how to explain your feelings for abby. she’s such a sweet girl, and she’s a few years younger than you. you want her all to yourself, you want to take all of her pain and suffering away and start a family with her. you wanna run away with her and live in a small beach house together. but is that crazy? you’ve only known her for about four months at this point, how long is too long to wait? how long is too short? you don’t wanna overwhelm her, she just started a completely new life after escaping seattle where all of her friends and family were murdered in front of her. it’s obvious she’s still grieving, missing the family she created and the life she had.
when you reach the top of the hill, you sit and dangle your feet off of the mini cliff, looking out at the horizon painted in front of you. abby takes a seat next to you, wrapping both of her hands around yours. you smile at her, proud of how far she’s come ever since rolling in half-dead and practically fried. she looks human now, and she looks really… pretty.
“you flatter me too much.” she says with a shy smile.
you groan. jesus christ, you need to stop thinking out loud before it kills you.
“sorry, i didn’t mean to make things weird.” you cringe again.
“it’s not weird. i think you’re pretty too.”
your heart skips a beat at this. it’s too late, your habit of thinking out loud is about to kill you right now. because your lips are on abby’s and you’re kissing her with all of your might. her lips taste like honey and coffee, a sweet mix of flavors that you’ll crave for the rest of your life.
“is it weird that i just kissed my doctor?” she asks.
“i’m not your doctor. i’m the crazy person who’s job was to watch you sleep in case you had seizures or heart attacks.”
she giggles at this, leaning in to capture your lips in another sweet kiss. you both stay there until sunset, giggling and kissing and chatting like little kids in love.
to your dismay, you get up and leave as soon as the sunset fades, not wanting to be stranded at sea in pitch black darkness. abby walks you home, arm thrown over your shoulders. you frown when you reach your own cabin, not wanting to leave her. “can i see you tomorrow?” you ask, praying she’ll say yes.
“of course,” she says. “i’ll be here.”
it’s impossible for you to sleep after the incredible day you just had. you keep licking your lips in hope that the honey-coffee taste will still be lingering, but it’s not. tomorrow can’t come soon enough, and now you feel bad for teasing abby about her lack of sleep because you finally get it.
abby sleeps soundly tonight. all of her fears are dissolved floating away like ashes in the wind. she feels free. finally ready to start a new chapter of her life now that she’s escaped the tragedies from seattle and the torture from santa barbara.
you wake up bright and early the next morning, showering and cooking and cleaning and dressing yourself as efficiently as you can. the excitement of seeing her again fuels your motivation, but once your whole lodge is spotless, it’s hard to find something to do with your energy. you sigh in relief when abby knocks on your door ten minutes early, her brain must be in sync with yours.
as you open the door, you practically jump into her arms. she pulls you in for a big bear hug, seeming to have missed you just as much as you’ve missed her.
you have nothing planned, so you snack on a box of cookies while sitting in bed, staring out of the window that overlooks the ocean. it’s a gloomy day, but it’s nice to people watch and gossip about various things you’ve heard through the grapevine.
after a while you get tired, and abby lets you rest your head on her shoulder in case you wanna fall asleep. you don’t, though. no matter how heavy your eyelids get, you force yourself to enjoy every second that passes with her. well, there is something you wanna do with her, but you’re not too sure how she feels about it.
“abby? can i ask you another weird question?”
“always.” she laughs.
“do you wanna have sex with me?”
her heart thrums harder in her chest, and heat spreads from her cheeks to her ears.
“sorry, i shouldn’t ha—”
“yes.” she interrupts. “but, i— it’s been a while. i’m not very… i dunno…”
“if you don’t want to it’s fine.” you assure her. “it’s also fine if you wanna just lay there and let me do the work, i don’t mind.”
she nods at the second option, leaning back and throwing her shirt off while you do the same. her abdomen is less bloody and bruised than you remember, but you can still see her ribs and a few scars. she blushes when she catches you staring, leaning back timidly.
“don’t be nervous, abby. i’m a doctor, i’ve seen bodies. especially yours, and i think you’re beautiful.”
she blushes harder at this, but laughs and says “i thought you were a creepy nurse who watches people sleep, not a doctor.”
you giggle and shut her up with a kiss, reaching down to unbutton her jeans. “can i?” you ask.
“yes, please, fuck.”
as soon as you get her jeans down, you tug her boxers down too. sure you should wait, and it might be polite to engage in a little foreplay, but you’re craving her right now. her bush is curly in the center, right where is dripping wet, and she has a beautiful blonde happy trail that crawls all the way up to her belly button. she’s so hot you might need an oxygen tank.
“the quicker you stop staring and fuck me, the quicker we can get you that oxygen tank.” she laughs.
“oh god… i didn’t mean to say that. again.”
you tug your own underwear off and sit your cunt right on top of hers. abby intertwines her legs with yours, and the angle lets you slide across her perfectly. “jesus christ.” she moans, currently unable to control the noises she’s making.
she’s so sensitive it drives you mad. the last time she hooked up with anyone was more than a year ago, and ever since then she’s been prioritizing keeping herself alive over jacking off. whenever your clits bump, you feel a small, warm splash of her squirt against your cunt, and it makes you more aroused than you’ve ever been.
it gets very messy very quickly. your lips crash together in a heated and very wet kiss, and your cunts are creating a pile of slick that’s currently dripping down abby’s ass and making a puddle on the bed. you can’t tell if you’re dizzy because of your arousal, sleepiness, or love for her, but you feel like you’re on cloud nine.
abby cums after only a few minutes, and when she does she twitches and writhes and squeals so much you think you might have to sedate her. you keep grinding on her until you cum, which quickly overstimulates her even further until you’re almost positive she’s blacked out or something.
when you come down from your own high, you scoot yourself off of her. two clear strings of slick connect you to her, but eventually break and drip down onto the bed. she sighs when you lay next to her.
“was that good?” you ask.
“fuck. i think i need the oxygen mask more than you do.” she pants. you laugh and wrap your arms around her, ready to get a few minutes of cuddling in before you force your aftercare routine upon her.
she sighs. “thanks for taking care of me.”
“you know i’ll always take care of you, abby. right? just because i’m not your nurse anymore doesn’t mean i don’t love you anymore.”
“you love me?”
“ever since the day i met you.”
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cradlequill-stories · 26 days ago
Text
Surrender, an ABDL Story by CradleQuill (18+)
Disclaimer: All content is fictional, consensual, and intended only for mature audiences. All characters depicted are adults aged 18+ _
Daniel stopped typing and looked up from his manuscript. His eyes wandered to Isabelle, who sat at the other end of their shared table, supposedly chipping away at her latest work project. Her brow was stuck in a permanently furrowed state, and she was massaging her temples as she stared down at her computer screen. She had been at this for hours now. Every so often, a burst of inspiration would hit, and the sound of her acrylic nails tapping away at her mechanical keys would fill the room. Those bursts would not last, though. Before too long, Daniel would notice that the sound of his girlfriend working would disappear, replaced with a suffocating silence that lingered throughout the air, threatening to choke the life from him if he dared say a word.
It had been over thirty minutes since inspiration had last struck, and Daniel knew Isabelle was hitting her wall. He also knew she would be reluctant to admit as much. He looked back to his writing and saw he had hit his word count for the day, so he leaned back and took a deep breath. Daniel eyed Isabelle as he wondered if she was paying attention to his movements.
“You know, honey,” Daniel said with a hitch in his voice. “Maybe it’s about time for you to take a break. Relax for a bit and see if the solution comes to you.”
Isabelle shut her eyes, looking annoyed. She let out a hefty sigh. “I can’t take a break yet. I’m on the clock for another three hours, and I need to finish this by the end of the day.”
Daniel carefully considered his next words. He knew how she got when there were stakes involved, especially when those stakes involved her boss, Jim. He also knew Isabelle had a penchant for building these things up in her head and assuming the worst. “Do you actually need to finish this one today, or is it more so that you’re going to be mad at yourself if you don’t finish it?”
Isabelle shot two twin daggers for eyes at him, and he immediately got the memo. He leaned forward, and in his mind, he debated whether he wanted to continue speaking. In the end, his gut told him to keep going. “You know, honey,” he began, his voice as gentle and soothing as light rain tapping on a window. “It would probably be easier to get a lot more work done if you gave your mind the chance to rest. You don’t want to overwork yourself and fry those thoughts before they come to fruition.”
“And what would you know about that?” Isabelle snapped back. “It’s not like you work an actual job, anyway. I have deadlines, Daniel. People expect me to finish things by certain times, and I’m already behind as is. So please, lay off and let me handle it.”
By the time she reached the end of her little diatribe, she was nearly out of breath, huffing and puffing out of anger. Her cheeks were bright red, but they faded to a lighter shade of pink once she realized that her temper had gotten the better of her. Daniel just sat there, staring at her. There was no judgment in his eyes, not even pain. Isabelle struggled to read him, but as best she could tell, he was unbothered, though also very serious.
She knew she ought to apologize, and part of her even wanted to. It was the mature thing to do. Even if she had a point, she went about expressing that point in the absolute wrong way. At the same time, she could feel that another side of her, a more stubborn, petty side, had latched onto this little spat and decided it was unwilling to move an inch. While she sat there in her purgatory of mind, Daniel stood up from the table. She watched him close his laptop and wander over to where his coat was hung up next to the door.
“Daniel, wait…” She clambered out of her chair and onto her feet.
“Not another word.” Daniel’s tone was stern, but it held the same underlying gentleness as his earlier words. She knew he meant it. He did not want to hear another word escape from her lips, and as hard as that stubborn side of her tried to fight it, she managed to hold it back and keep her mouth shut. She couldn’t bear to look him in the eyes. Instead, all she offered was a nod.
“I’ll be back soon. I won’t be long,” Daniel said before pulling on his coat and leaving through their apartment’s front door. On his way out, she heard the pitters and patters of his boots as he trailed down the stairs to the parking lot.
Minutes passed, and Isabelle had still not returned to her work. Her heart was nearly in her throat. She knew she had messed up, but she hoped it would not be as bad as it seemed. Daniel said he would not be long, and Isabelle would just have to trust that. He wouldn’t just leave her there, all alone, over one fight. If you could even call it a fight. It was more like a temper tantrum. She could hardly call herself a stressed out adult who had been snippy. It was more like she was a spiteful adolescent lashing out at a parent. It reminded her of her teenage years, and for that she felt deep shame.
When another few minutes had passed, and Isabelle still could not get her mind off of things, she forced herself to look back at her computer screen. Sitting there doing nothing would not help. At least if she got some work done, it would be a serviceable distraction until Daniel returned from wherever he had gone off to. He probably just went for a walk to clear his head, Isabelle thought. She hoped it was nothing more than that.
After around another thirty minutes, the familiar sound of Daniel’s boots trudging up the stairs to their apartment rang through the building, and Isabelle let out a sigh of relief she had been holding onto since the moment he left. When he returned through the door, Isabelle noticed something under his arm. Whatever it was, it was double-bagged in two white grocery bags, and she could not make out any signifying labels from beneath the coat of white.
“What’s that?” She asked, but Daniel did not answer.
“Come with me,” was all he said before making his way through the halls and into their bedroom. He had that same tone from earlier, the one that refused to be bargained with, so Isabelle did as she was told. She stood up from the table and followed him into their room, where Daniel was making the bed. He had opened their closet door and pulled out a black leather riding crop, which now sat beside him on the nightstand.
“No, absolutely not-” Isabelle said, but Daniel cut her off.
“You will not take that kind of tone with me. You know better than to speak to me that way, and you know better than to insult me.” He finished making the bed, ensuring it was nice and level for her to sprawl out on. “You also know that I was right about you needing a break. You would never have snapped at me like that if you weren’t so stressed. Now, be an obedient girl for me and lay flat on your stomach.”
Isabelle squirmed where she stood, clenching her legs together and trying not to show how obviously wiggly she was. Deep down, she loved when he got like this. She found him so… irresistible when he took charge. “I-I don’t think now is the t-time…” she trailed off, unable to finish her own thought. Her thoughts seemed to get lost somewhere along the way from her mind to her mouth, disappearing before she could bring them to life through her words.
Daniel simply ignored her. He wore that same unphased demeanor from earlier, and somehow, that made him seem even more threatening. With the crop and sheets all prepped and ready, he bent down and opened his mysterious package, revealing a large bag of disposable diapers, the kinds for little kids who still wet their beds.
“Absolutely not!” Isabelle declared. Her voice was forceful and unwavering. Yet when his eyes met hers, hers darted away. She could not hold his gaze.
“I’m not asking. Lay down on the bed, take your spanking, and then I’m going to put you into something more appropriate for the way you’ve been behaving.”
“I’m not… wearing that.” She folded her arms and gave her best pout.
Daniel turned to face her, not speaking for several seconds. Each subsequent second felt longer than the last, and with each one that passed, Isabelle felt her knees getting weaker, ready to give way. After a full minute of silent stillness, Daniel suddenly approached her. He got right up in her face, forcing her to stand at attention just to avoid him running into her.
Their faces were mere inches apart when he said, “I have seen your BDSMTest results. I know what you’re into. I know how you like to be treated.” He paused just long enough to let her mouth fall open, and for a breathless gasp to flee from her open lips. “You have a safe word. Use it. Or don’t use it, and lay down on the bed right this instant.”
Isabelle could not believe what she was hearing. Even less could she believe her legs started inching their way forward without her permission. Daniel was right. She had a safe word, but she did not utter it. Before she knew it, she was crawling onto the bed, sprawling out over it. Daniel came up from behind her and gave her a forceful push, slamming her stomach onto the bed as she let out a reluctant moan that refused to be held back. A familiar wetness dampened her inner thighs.
As she tried to compose herself, to gather her thoughts which seemed to float around aimlessly in the sea of her mind, there was a sharp sting against one of her butt cheeks, and then the other. The sound of the slaps came first, with the pain settling in whole seconds later. By the time she felt the pain from one, Daniel’s crop was already onto the next. She desperately clung to her physical presence, to keep herself grounded within the moment. She was an adult, a grown woman, someone who was self-sufficient and well adjusted. Except, she wasn’t any of those things.
With each strike of the crop, those illusions, those lies that she told herself, they disappeared bit by bit, until they had faded into nothing more than memories just out of reach. All that was left was herself. Her true self, the one she kept locked away where no one could see. In mere moments, Daniel had beaten it out of her. She could hardly even feel the pain anymore. Instead, it was as if she were floating in the middle of the ocean, with no land anywhere to be found. Or perhaps she was soaring through the air, diving between the clouds, with no rules or expectations hoisted upon her shoulders. She was free. In her bondage, in her submission to him, she was free.
When the spanking was finished, Isabelle’s bottom was bright red and sore. The earlier marks were even beginning to turn purple as her skin bruised. She just laid there, her mouth agape, with tears streaming down her cheeks. Daniel grabbed hold of her and pulled her into his embrace. “There, there, little one. It’s all over. I’ve got you now.” The sternness had left his voice. Now, there was just that same old gentleness, like the first autumn breeze of the year.
She sobbed into his shoulder, and all the while, he held her and cooed at her. He rocked her gently, careful not to exacerbate the pain coursing through her bruised bottom. Once she had settled down and centered herself right there in his presence, in his dominance, he laid her down on the bed. She went limp, ready to let him do whatever he pleased with her. However, Daniel did not take her as she thought he would. No, instead, he ripped open the package of Pull-Ups and slid one over her feet and up her legs. Isabelle’s hands shot up to her face to hide her humiliation, but the childish gesture only served to make her seem more helpless and infantile.
With little effort, Daniel hoisted Isabelle up and pulled the glorified diaper snug into place. She had to admit; it wasn’t so bad. The padding was soft against her princess parts, and the way the garment hugged her hips made her feel swaddled and protected. She was safe. Safe in her Pull-Ups and safe under Daniel’s thumb, right where she belonged. She needed it. She yearned for it.
Daniel wrapped her in his arms once more and laid her head on his chest. He rocked her gently, humming a soft little tune to soothe her. Isabelle closed her eyes and let herself relax, finally. For the first time in longer than she cared to remember, she was at peace. All her worries and concerns had drifted away, and despite her sore bottom and weakened pride, she could not help but smile.
“There’s my girl,” Daniel said. He aimed his own soft smile down at her, and as she looked into his eyes, she did not find disdain or malice there. Instead, she found only wordless comfort and reassurance. “I think someone was extra fussy today and needed an attitude adjustment.” She blushed even more furiously at that.
“D-Daniel…” Isabelle’s meek voice chirped out like a baby bird making its first call.
“Yes, my love?”
“I’m s-sorry… for what I said… and the way I said it.”
“I know you are, sweetie. I know you didn’t mean it. You were stressed, and you lashed out. Little girls do that from time to time.”
“N-no but… I’m serious. I shouldn’t have said those things.”
“Hush, little one. I know you’re sorry, and I know you’re being sincere. I’m telling you it’s alright, that you don’t have to apologize. You don’t have to do or be anything right now. You can just sit here in my arms, and you can just be my little girl, if that’s what you want.” He gave her the kindest smile anyone had ever given her, and in that moment, the last of her reservations gave way. “That is what you want, isn’t it, baby?” All she could do was nod.
That night, she drifted off to sleep in her boyfriend’s arms. Come the next day, she wouldn’t think of him as her boyfriend at all anymore. Instead, she would see him as her Daddy. And by the time she woke the next morning, she would find herself filled with a sense of undeniable bliss, and a new sensation altogether. One of thickness and absorbency between her legs. One that would go on to define the rest of her life to come, and the way her Daddy would look at her as his good little bedwetter. _
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thriftedtchotchkes · 1 year ago
Text
switching the positions
pairing: joel miller x f!reader
summary: a collection of micro-fics chronicling the days of a very eventful week in the lives of you and joel miller (inspired by ariana grande's positions)
warnings: 18+ MDNI, pre-outbreak, established relationship, fluff, angst, hurt/comfort, smut, unprotected piv, rough sex, oral (f&m receiving), 69ing, mutual/guided masturbation, edging, mild exhibitionism, consensual somnophilia, squirting, rimming, unplanned pregnancy, pregnancy kink, pregnant sex, panic attacks, mentions of parents, mentions of food
word count: 16.2k
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moodboard by my sweet girl @cavillscurls ♡
a/n: whew, my pride and joy, a whole two months in the making. tysm to everyone who voted on the poll, and especially to @dinsdjrn for helping me tie this whole thing together and mya for listening to me yell about this for weeks. as always, thoughts and feedback are always appreciated!
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SUNDAY
"Boy, I'm tryna meet your mama on a Sunday."
“She’s gonna hate me.”
“She’s not gonna hate you.”
Oh, you know this woman is going to hate you. It’s not that parents don’t like you. On the contrary, you actually get along great with people’s parents. Your friends’, your old roommate’s, your coworkers'—hell, even your own. It’s just that moms, specifically, can smell fear, and Joel’s mom is going to smell the terror wafting off of you from a mile away. 
Not that it’s personal or anything. You’re pretty sure she’d hate anyone dating her baby boy. It’s like, a boy-mom thing. Still doesn’t make you feel any better about your boyfriend’s mom potentially hating you.
“Whose idea was this dinner again?” Because if it was Joel’s, then he can still reschedule or fake an illness or, better yet, call the whole thing off.
“Baby, you know it was hers,” he replies from his spot at the edge of the bed, where he’s been watching you pace the room and throw half the closet on the floor for the past hour. You shoot him an exasperated look.
“But did you have to say yes? Isn’t it kind of early for me to be meeting your mom anyway?” 
He looks at you like you have ten heads, but you ignore him, debating two shirts in the mirror, then deciding they’re both terrible and adding them to the pile on the floor.
“It’s been a year and a half. If we wait any longer, she’ll be meetin’ you at the weddin’,” he sighs, running his hands frustratedly down his face. You pause your closet tornado to stare at him, wide-eyed, and he rolls his eyes. “I’m just sayin’, I think it’d be good for y’all to meet, is all.”
Good for who? Certainly not you. Honestly, this dinner could have serious repercussions for your relationship. It’s entirely possible she could convince him to break up with you after the night’s over. Or that you’re a bad role model and shouldn’t be allowed around Sarah anymore. Your stomach lurches violently at the thought. Then, it hits you—
“Okay, yeah, that’s fair enough—but have we thought about who’s gonna watch Sarah tonight? We can’t just leave her by herself, and I’m sure your mom would totally understand that,” you try to reason but, again, Joel’s not going for it. 
“She’s 14 years old, I think she can handle a couple hours alone,” he deadpans. “Baby, c’mon, it’s not gonna be that bad. Please? Is it really too much to ask for the woman I love to meet my momma?” 
You soften at that. Logically, you know he’s right and it’s not fair for you to keep giving him such a hard time. You’re also pre-judging someone really special to him, and now you feel like the shittiest girlfriend in the world.
“You’re right. I know you’re right—I’m sorry,” you sigh, wrapping your arms around yourself. You’re not sure why you’re feeling so insecure about all this. “I just want her to like me, you know?”
He nods, lips quirking into a small smile, and pats his lap. You fall into his arms and he rocks you for a moment, kissing your hair, then your cheek. The anxiety’s starting to subside and you’re grateful for him, your sweet boyfriend who never asks you for anything. Your eyes meet his, and he leans in to kiss you softly, deeply, then pulls away just enough to rest his forehead against yours.
“I know ya do,” he murmurs, rubbing soothing circles into your thigh. “And she will, alright? Just give her a chance like she’s givin’ you one.” 
So, for Joel, you do. Turns out his mom is lovely and wonderful, just like her son, and now you have a lot to make up for.
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MONDAY
"Then make a lotta love on a Monday."
It’s early and yet, somehow, you’re already awake and feeling like it’s going to be a good day. There’s no alarm clocks blaring, no feet stomping up and down the stairs. Just sweet, blissful sunlight, and it feels so good this morning. Warm and wet and, god, right there—please, keep going right there.
You reach out to feel its light against your hands and between your fingers, and it hums, sending sweet vibrations up your arms, all the way down to your thighs. Heat starts to bloom in your belly as the sun rises higher, burning hotter and hotter, and your fingers tense, tugging at its soft rays. 
Everything feels so much wetter now, and there’s no way you’re not sweating right through your shirt and into the sheets. Even your underwear is soaked, your cunt pleasurably slick and dripping as you pant softly into your pillow.
Then, all of it suddenly intensifies and you’re enveloped by a wet, dextrous warmth that circles and circles, dipping into you, fucking into you, and suddenly, you’re so, so close—
And then you’re cumming with a loud sob, hips bucking with every spasm until something broad and strong splays across your stomach and pushes you back down into the sheets. 
It's…you realize it’s Joel. Balmy and beautiful like the morning sun. He groans as you gush into his mouth, lapping up everything you give him, and you’re vaguely aware of the bed shifting under you as he grinds his hips into the mattress for relief. 
“…B-baby? What—what’s going on…,” you slur sleepily, hands tugging harder at his hair as he continues to suckle your clit through the aftershocks. You whine at the oversensitivity, and he pulls off to press one last kiss to your heat before throwing the sheets off behind his head.
His eyes meet yours and, fuck, he looks wrecked. His hair is in complete disarray and his eyes are a little wild…and then there’s the giant tent in his boxers and that delicious wet spot that makes your mouth water. He doesn’t respond—just crawls up your body to crash his lips against yours, licking into your mouth, and all you can taste is yourself when his tongue brushes against yours.
You moan into his mouth as he grinds into your sensitive core, then parts from your lips just long enough to pull your sweat-soaked shirt up and over your head. The cool morning air feels like heaven against your feverish skin and, with the sheets gone, you can feel a cool breeze coming through the open window, amplified by the oscillating fan next to the bed.
Christ, he must be so pent up by now. Your brain is finally starting to clear from its post-sleep fog, and now you’re wondering how long he’s been between your legs, eating you out like you’re the heartiest breakfast he’s ever had in his life. 
But that train of thought is quickly derailed when his lips find a new home around your nipple, sucking it into his mouth and circling his tongue around the nub until it hardens. The delicate skin feels especially tender, and you whimper quietly as the roughness of his beard scrapes against you. Your fingers thread back into his hair and you tug, urging him back up so you can feel his mouth on yours again. 
“Joel, fuck me,” you murmur against his lips, and his breath hitches. “Wanna feel you—please.” 
The sensitivity must’ve already subsided because your hips are steadily meeting his and you’re feeling so desperate to have him inside you. His cock feels heavy as he rubs himself against your slick cunt and, while the fabric provides the most incredible friction when it grazes your clit, you want him bare immediately. 
“Now…ngh—now,” you whine, and you’re stunned he still has the patience to tease when he pulls away slightly to smirk down at you.
“Needy girl this morning, ain’t ya?” His voice is thick with sleep and so much desire, and it makes your still locked-down pussy clench painfully. “S’alright, baby, ‘m gonna give it to ya.”
Wrenching his boxers down, he grips under your legs to push both of your knees to your chest before nudging the blunt head of his cock against your entrance. He inches in just the tip and immediately lets out a whoosh of air.
“So fuckin’ tight, Jesus Christ,” he grits through his teeth, working himself in and out of you until he’s buried to the hilt, the coarse hair at the base of his cock brushing against you just right. He lingers for a brief moment, grinding into you deeply, languidly while you adjust to his girth.
"S'good. Feels good," you murmur, sighing contently. He's brushing that spot he can only reach when he fucks you like this, so you lock your ankles behind his back, silently telling him to stay. But it feels a little selfish, and you can feel how much he's holding back.
"Baby...I gotta move," he pants, trembling with the effort it's taking not to lengthen his thrusts. Pulling out slowly, he presses back into you deep enough to nudge that spot again, and your vision goes hazy. "Promise, I'll take care of ya—"
You moan in unison as you flutter around him, and he takes that as the go-ahead to continue, his cock reappearing wetter and shinier after every stroke. His skin is glistening, too, slick with sweat that runs down his temples and pools where your bodies connect. 
The heat of him is addictive and it's everywhere—blooming in your chest, blazing between your legs, and igniting something fathomless inside you. But somehow, it's still not hot enough. You know he can give you more, your blindingly beautiful sun.
Wrapping your arms loosely around his shoulders, you squeeze your thighs into his sides to pull him flush against your body, and you can feel his heartbeat pounding through his chest. The steady rhythm matches his thrusts perfectly, but he's groaning so sweetly in your ear that you have a feeling it won't for long.
You belatedly realize how hard you're clenching around him, suddenly so close to tumbling over the edge for the second time this morning, and he redoubles his efforts to follow you.
"L-like that, keep going just like that," you encourage between sharp exhales. "That—that's it."
He braces a hand next to your head on the pillow to stabilize himself, and you wrap your fingers around his wrist, grounding yourself to him. His eyes meet yours fondly before he buries his face into the crook of your neck to do the same, panting heavily against your skin.
Soft, brown curls tickle your cheek, and you turn your head to nose into his hair, breathing him in. He smells earthy like freshly-mown grass and sawdust, and it fills your lungs, surrounding you just when you need it the most. 
You gasp in his air, hips swiveling into his desperately as you chase your release. He's slamming directly into that spot now, pushing your knees back into your chest to reach even deeper, but his thighs are starting to tense.
"'m not gonna last long," he admits breathily, all but folding you in half so he can brush his lips against yours. "S'too good...gonna make me cum so hard."
"Please...please, please." Fuck, you want to feel it. To feel him pulsing inside you, filling you up so good, so much. "Joel, cum—please cum."
So close, you're so close. Your soft sighs have evolved into something louder and higher-pitched. Too loud for this early in the morning, and enough to wake up the entire house if you're not careful.
Joel seals his mouth over yours, swallowing every noise that escapes your lips as he pounds into you with purpose, dragging against your walls, and it's...fuck, you're—
Gushing, sobbing as you cum, and he groans, long and drawn out, immediately following you over the edge. Releasing your legs, he digs his fingers into your hips to hold you in place, keeping his cock buried deep inside you as you milk him dry.
"Fuck me," he exhales shakily, pumping into you twice before pulling out and collapsing on top of you. "Good fuckin' morning."
A breathy laugh bubbles out of your chest, but you immediately cringe at the feeling of his cum leaking out of you and onto the sheets. You wedge a hand between your bodies, reaching down to swipe your thumb between your folds and procure a glob that you suck wetly into your mouth. 
"Very good fuckin' morning," you smile cheekily at the look of awe on his face. He shakes his head, chuckling as he wraps you up in his arms and rolls you over onto your sides. His chest expands into you with a massive yawn, and you're helpless but to mirror him.
"How much time we got until the alarm?" he mutters sleepily, sounding like he could pass out at any moment. You're craning your head back to check when—
The damn thing starts blaring before you can even catch a glimpse of the time. Not that you need to now—it's 6 a.m., your mortal enemy. You glare at the clock like it personally offended you, and Joel only chuckles, pulling you back down with him.
"Snooze it," he murmurs, mouthing damply at your neck, his hands exploring your soft, bare skin. "We still got time."
You barely hear him, already lost in the feeling of his fingers skimming up your sides, thumbs brushing the underside of your breasts. He leans over you to hit the button himself before returning to you, kissing you like you've both got all the time in the world.
Neither of you makes it to work on time.
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TUESDAY
"Cookin' in the kitchen, and I'm in the bedroom."
The oven is broken. Probably. The stove, too. It’s really not your fault—all you did was turn some knobs and stand there, but for some reason, none of the burners are catching and the oven sure isn’t cooking this chicken like it’s supposed to.
You don't even like chicken but, for some ungodly reason, you've had a wicked craving for it lately. And Joel loves it, so. That explains why you’re in the kitchen, getting side-eyed by a very skeptical 14 year old, trying to cook a nice dinner for her very overworked father. It’s not going well.
“Did you hear it click when you tried turning it on?” Sarah asks patiently, and now it’s your turn to look skeptical.
“Uhh, the knob or the stove?” You eye the appliance dubiously like it’s doing whatever it’s doing on purpose. She laughs pointing to one of the burners.
“So, when you twist the knob, gas comes out of here,” she taps the grating around the burner, “and the clicking creates a spark that ignites the gas so it lights. Then, voila, you’ve got a working stove.”
“Oh,” you reply dumbly, looking back and forth between her and the stove until she finally gets the hint.
“Fine, fine. I can do it,” she rolls her eyes good-naturedly. And of course, the stupid thing works with zero issues when she does it. You give her a grateful smile before throwing the dirtiest glare you can muster at the oven.
“What do we do about that one? I guess I could try cooking the whole chicken in a big pan, but I can’t guarantee we won’t all die from food poisoning…,” you trail off, starting to feel a little useless. 
It’s not like you’re completely inept in the kitchen. You can use a toaster or a microwave like a damn pro, and even the blender if you’re feeling especially adventurous, but you’ve never made a big meal like this before. Sarah likes to cook when you’re not ordering out, which admittedly is most of the time, so this was supposed to be something special for her, too. 
“It’s the same general concept,” she says, still kind and patient as ever, squatting down to show you a different set of knobs. You observe her for a moment, missing the start of her explanation, because it’s times like these where you can see so much of Joel in her. 
It’s that spark in her eyes when she gets to share bits of her well-earned knowledge. To use her expertise to teach someone something brand new. Joel gets the same look when he’s trying to teach you guitar. His eyes shine when you finally get a chord down, and he downright beams when you can finish an entire bar by yourself. 
You must’ve zoned out for too long because she’s suddenly waving a hand in front of your face, smiling her dad’s sweet smile as she waits for your focus to return to the task at hand. 
“Shit, I’m sorry. What did I miss?” you ask sheepishly. She nods to the oven, already lit and heating up to the required 400 degrees Fahrenheit for cooking baked chicken.
“All good! It’s set for whenever you’ve got the food prepped. You just have to wait for it to hit temperature—it’ll beep when it’s ready,” she says, walking around the kitchen island to grab her backpack. 
…Wait. She’s leaving?
“Woah, wait, where are you going? You can’t leave yet,” you plead, still desperate for her help. “What if I burn the house down?”
“You’re not gonna burn down the house,” she snorts, already at the door tugging on her sneakers. “Just remember to turn off the burners and you’ll be fine. And save me some food!… Unless everyone gets sick, then maybe don’t.”
You shoot her a look of absolute betrayal, and she laughs, opening the front door and waving over her shoulder. 
“See ya later! Good luck, I believe in you!” 
And then she’s gone, and you’re left alone with your misery and a bunch of random ingredients you still have to magically make into a meal.
You slump against the counter, lamenting the loss of your sous chef until the oven beeps, scaring the shit out of you. Oh, great. You’ve barely even started seasoning the chicken. It can’t be that hard, right?
Twenty minutes later, you’re standing in front of a very peppery-looking raw chicken—which is officially disgusting again, you changed your mind—wishing you had just ordered Boston Market and lied about making it yourself. Lesson learned for next time. Like there’ll be a next time.
Well, at least no one can say you didn’t try. You throw a bunch of mixed vegetables into the bottom of the pan like the recipe says and pop it in the oven, setting the timer for 40 minutes and hoping for the best. 
Glancing at the clock above the sink, you realize you’re cutting it close on time. You told Joel to be home by eight, which means he’ll probably actually get here at nine, and it’s already 7:30. Yikes. Time flies when you’re trying not to fuck up a dinner that was doomed from the start.
The last piece of the puzzle is thankfully the easiest. Now, mashed potatoes are definitely something you can make. Boiling water? Piece of cake. Pouring in the instant flakes from the box and adding butter? Done and done.
There’s no way anyone’ll be able to tell you didn’t make them from scratch unless they check the trash and, anyways, the instant stuff is better. You’ll go down with that ship. 
Now for the pièce de résistance: the perfect evening attire. A cute, 50s-era apron you thrifted two weeks ago that’ll go over the teeny, tiny Victoria’s Secret lingerie set you’ve been hiding in the back of the closet.
Joel will probably think it’s hilarious, once he stops drooling. Hopefully you’ll even make it to dinner, otherwise, the stress of this entire afternoon was a totally moot point. But he’ll have to be a good boy and finish his food before he can have dessert—apple pie you definitely didn’t make, and you laid out on his bed like the best fucking treat he’ll ever taste.
You end up with enough time to take the chicken and veggies out of the oven—the meat thermometer tells you it’s cooked through and that’s good enough for you—and stir up the mashed potatoes before you have to head upstairs to get everything else ready. So far, surprisingly, so good. 
You’re in the middle of patting yourself on the back for a job well-done, with time to spare, when you hear the front door open. At eight fucking thirty. This would be the one day Joel gets home early and, by the sounds of dishware and cutlery clinking around downstairs, he’s already discovered your big surprise. 
“Baby, you up there?” he calls up the stairs. “What’s all this?”
Well. Guess it’s showtime. You finish tying the apron around your waist before giving yourself one last once over in the mirror. Everything fits perfectly, just like you knew it would, and the food’s done, for better or worse. So there’s no need to be nervous, right? It’s just Joel. Your Joel. He’d love it no matter what, even if it all ends up being total shit. 
Taking a steadying breath, you head down the stairs, letting your appearance serve as his answer. The apron rubs scratchily against your skin, a reminder of how naked you actually are underneath, and you let your confidence in Joel’s inevitably wanton reaction make you brave.
And he doesn’t disappoint. His eyes rove over you greedily, from the pout of your lips to the tiniest slip of your nipple peeking over your bra, all the way down to the soft, bare skin of your legs. Yeah, no need to be nervous at all.
“Just a little surprise I cooked up,” you smirk a little deviously as you reach the bottom of the stairs. He’s on you in a second, hands exploring your body eagerly, impatiently, as he leans in to kiss you, but he’s halted by a finger to his lips. “Uh-uh. Can’t have dessert yet. There’s a whole meal waiting for you—I made your favorite.”
He chuckles, gingerly pressing a kiss to your finger instead before leading you backward into the kitchen. 
“Well, let’s get started then. I’m starvin’,” he says, looking hungrier than you’ve ever seen him. You return his gaze, suddenly feeling ravenous yourself.
“Good. It’s dinner time.”
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WEDNESDAY
"Wrist icicle, ride dick bicycle."
Spin class sucks.
There’s really no need for the music to be this loud. And it’s bad. They say it’s supposed to amp you up for rigorous exercise, but it’s just giving you a headache.
It’s also about a thousand degrees in here, and you’d be leaving a massive pool of sweat on this seat if you were even allowed to sit on it. The whole concept of spinning makes no sense, and you’re starting to think it’s actually just a dance class on stationary bikes because no one in their right mind would ever ride a bicycle like this. 
It’s embarrassing, for starters, and you’re surrounded by hot people that are way better at it than you are. You didn’t even know you could gyrate on a fucking bike until today, and they all somehow make it look sexy. Like they’re legitimately having a great time. Having fun. 
But not you. The music might honestly be doing you a favor by drowning out your pathetic attempts to breathe. You’re starting to get a little lightheaded and feel like you’re about to be sick.
No workout is worth this. You can’t even pretend to follow the instructor’s directions, because you can barely hear her over the speakers. She probably can't even hear herself, yelling into the void of shitty EDM remixes, and expecting everyone to pick it up. If you’d known this was just some fucked up version of leg day, you would’ve skipped it. 
There's no sneaking out early, either. You took the bus and Joel won’t be here to pick you up for at least another half hour. Honestly, you'd rather walk home and let that be your exercise for the day, but unless you plan on jogging along the highway, you're shit out of luck.
The beat abruptly picks back up, startling you out of your personal pity party, and then everyone's asses are in the air again, hips swiveling so perfectly in sync that it has to be choreographed. You're getting the hang of it now that you're realizing the routine just repeats itself, but it still feels mildly exploitative. 
It doesn't help that your class is starting to draw in a crowd, likely attracted by all of the revealing athletic wear on display. At least you got that memo. Whoever had the bright idea to put a huge glass wall at the back of the room was either a genius or a pervert. Probably both, depending on who you ask.
Once the hardest section of the choreography passes, you look behind you to check the time, praying more than you think has passed, but you're sorely disappointed. And the crowd outside's only gotten bigger.
Don't these assholes have anything better to do than stand there drooling over a spin class? You continue to glare at them over your shoulder through the next part of the song, looking a little ridiculous grinding into your seat as you silently tell them all off.
Out of the corner of your eye, you catch one of them off to the side laughing, but when you turn to send an even harsher look in their direction, you realize you recognize him. 
What a dick. If you'd known he was going to be this early, you definitely would've snuck out and waited outside instead of becoming another piece of eye candy for a bunch of gym rats. 
Joel looks a little too pleased with himself, leaning against the wall with his arms crossed like he’s enjoying the view as much as the rest of those creeps. Well, if he wants a show, then you’ll give him one. Now that you’ve gotten the movements down, you can put all of your energy into making him wish there wasn’t an entire glass wall separating him from you. 
That one, grueling section of the song loops back around, and this time you put your all into it, arching like you’re supposed to, swiveling your hips into the seat with all of the muscle control you’ve got. Your shorts ride up your ass at the change in movement, probably giving you a wicked camel toe, but you let them. You can only imagine the look on Joel’s face now.
The song starts to wind down, finally coming to a stop, and you lower yourself back onto the seat, panting with the exertion of the past 45 minutes. Turning back around, you notice the crowd has mostly dispersed, save for a few stragglers and Joel, who’s panting almost as hard as you are. 
Your eyes drop to his pants, and you quirk an eyebrow. His breathing’s not the only thing that’s hard. He looks a little wrecked and, suddenly, this whole workout thing feels like it might’ve been worth it after all. 
You hop off the bike and retrieve your duffel from the back of the room, teasingly flicking the glass in front of his face before exiting with the rest of the class.
"Ready to go?" you ask brightly, still feeling high off the endorphin rush. He doesn't respond, looking a little dazed as he watches a droplet of sweat run down your neck, past your collarbone, and right between your breasts. "You doing alright there, bud?"
You laugh, enjoying your revenge a little too much, reveling in the way his jaw tenses and the muscles in his neck twitch angrily. It’s about to be a very interesting ride home—or it would’ve been if you’d made it that far. 
On the way out, you pass an out-of-order men’s room, and he yanks you inside, locking the door behind you.
It's a little surprising he's this pent up after the night you had, especially with the sheer amount of sex you’ve been having lately—not that you're complaining. But what's even more surprising is that he's choosing right now to rectify it, basically in public where anyone could overhear or walk in on you. It's...really out of character for him. You thought he'd at least make it to the car.
“Joel, what the—,” you yelp as he lifts you up by the waist to settle you on the edge of a sink. It's clear his patience has completely run out because, within seconds, he's dropping to his knees, burying his face in your heat. "—fuck."
Your legs immediately try to close around his head, but he forces them back open with enough strength to overextend your already abused hamstrings. It shouldn't feel as good as it does, but the pain, combined with his blunt nails biting into your thighs, sends delicious jolts right to your core. 
You exhale shakily, burying your fingers in his hair as he sucks a damp patch into your shorts, just slightly lower than where you need him. Your hips buck, urging him higher, but he doesn't allow that either, shoving them back down onto the hard porcelain beneath you.
Should've known it wouldn't be that easy. He's handling you aggressively, rougher than you would've expected, and that's when you realize he's mad.
"Bet ya thought that was real funny, teasin' me like that," he growls into your clothed pussy, licking up the seam to swirl wet circles where your clit throbs under too many layers. "Don't feel very nice, does it?"
His eyes meet yours as he sucks a little harder, and you whimper, tugging at his hair in a silent plea for him to take your shorts off and eat you out the way you both want him to. But he's going to drag this out and you know it. 
Joel loves a little payback and has the patience of a saint unless he's pushed past his limit. To your detriment, you shoved him over that line with the stunt you pulled earlier, so now you'll have to convince him it's in his best interest to let it go.
Switching tactics, you tempt him with what he could have if he just gave in. Your fingers dip beneath your waistband, and you sigh as you slick them up against your folds before dipping them inside. You're already soaked, and so tight, even around two of your own fingers, and you tell him as much.
"No, it doesn't feel nice...but I know something that will," you pump your fingers in and out of yourself, the muted sound of wet squelching reaching your ears. "Hear that?—," you gasp, hips lifting off the sink as you accidentally graze something spongey and sensitive, "—t-that's all for you."
And it works like a charm. Your shorts and underwear are pulled off in a single, hard tug, his tongue fucking into you before you can even fully inhale, and you choke out a strangled moan instead. He eats you out like a man starved, his nose nudging your clit with every dip of his tongue, and it feels so potent, you practically see stars. 
Your combined slick and his saliva are starting to leak over the edge of the sink but he catches every drop, and the way he slurps you up makes your cheeks burn. Joel's a lot of things when he's between your legs—enthusiastic, generous, and a little sloppy, but he's never wasteful. 
Two thick fingers prod at your entrance, and then he's pressing them into you, the slide snug, but easy with how wet you are for him. Finally, finally, you can feel your orgasm building, and you're sent reeling when his tongue fucks into you between his fingers, filling you up—it's...yes, right there—
But he abruptly pulls his mouth away, still not done making you pay.
"Damn right, it's all for me. Ya think those jackasses watching you weren't thinkin' about this?" he growls, his fingers slowing to leisurely stroke your walls as if they weren't about to throw you over the edge a moment ago. "Think they could make you feel this good? Make you cum like I do?"
Your pussy flutters pathetically around him, and the false look of sympathy he gives you makes you want to cry out of sheer frustration.
"Gonna need an answer if you want me to keep goin'," he drawls, still close enough that you can feel his breath, hot against your cunt.
You bite down on your bottom lip, just hard enough to momentarily distract yourself from the aching between your legs so you can respond, but you're taking too long. His fingers have all but stopped, so you panic.
"Fuck those assholes. Fuck all of them," you grit through your teeth. He quirks an eyebrow, marginally picking up the pace of his fingers.
"Fuck 'em, huh? That what you wanna do?" He's teasing you, and even though it's obvious, you fall right into his trap, anyway. Blanching, you shake your head furiously.
"N-no—no, no, no. Just you, only wanna fuck you," you gasp, frantically trying to convince him of something you both already know to be true without a shadow of a doubt. It's honestly impressive that he can work you like this and, even more so, that he's the only one that can.
"S'okay, I know...I know. This right here—," he gives your clit a few kitten licks, the pads of his fingertips rubbing that perfect spot inside you, "—s'mine." 
Then, he's burying his face back between your legs, redoubling his efforts, and it's so fucking sloppy. Wet and hot, and hungry, as if edging you has the same effect on him. 
You feel him groan into you as you start to tighten around his fingers, loud enough that his chest rumbles with it, sending sweet vibrations up your thighs. The sound of his belt jingling, then hitting the floor vaguely makes it past the blood rushing in your ears, but his broad shoulders and head bobbing between your legs are blocking your view.
All you can see or hear is the frantic movement of his arm, his hand working up and down his cock, and the sound of skin slapping on skin. Fuck, that's—so hot, you're so close. So fucking close—
But he's got one last edge left in him. 
You're throbbing so violently that for a second you're terrified he ruined your orgasm, but no, you're still teetering on the cusp, thighs quaking so hard, you can’t believe you haven’t crushed his head between them already. At this point, the smallest touch, even the tiniest puff of air would send you hurtling over.
He's still jerking himself off, sounding delirious as he separates his mouth from you to speak.
"Need to hear ya s-say it...," he pants, and you cry out, angrily reaching down to roughly shove his face back into you, but he resists. Spurred on by your reaction, he only fucks into his fist faster. “Nobody else gets to taste ya like I do…do they? Say it. Say it and I'll…ngh—let you cum,” he moans lowly, possessively. 
Joel sounds completely gone. You never could've imagined dry humping a fucking stationary bike would set him off like this, or that a bunch of dumb muscleheads would make him this jealous. He's so lost in it, in you. 
But the way he's looking up at you right now—it's like he really does need you to do this for him. To tell him that it’s just him, and it’ll only ever be him. It’s the truth. No one else has ever made you feel the way he does, with his mouth and hands, or his heart, and they never will again.
You whine, shaking your head pleadingly, ready to tell him whatever he wants to hear. Anything for him to put his mouth back on you again.
"T-they don't—no one else gets to, but you...only you," you keen as he seals his lips around your clit, all of his fears and insecurities finally soothed. Your head tips back, the feeling of his hot tongue laving over the sensitive bundle of nerves and his thick fingers—three of them, now—dragging against your walls exactly what you need. 
You cum frighteningly quickly, your orgasm so powerful and overwhelming that you start to black out. Your eyes squeeze shut, and then it’s all just pleasure—the tension in all of your limbs slowly bleeds out with every spasm of your cunt, and something wet…so wet, splashes against your inner thighs. 
Joel groans louder than you think you’ve ever heard him, the sound practically punched out of his chest as he licks broader lines up your pussy, sucking and slurping, and what…what is that? Why the fuck are you so wet? He—did Joel cum on you, and you didn’t even notice?
But that’s impossible because now his body’s completely seizing up, the hand around his cock stilling as he spurts thick ropes of cum across the bathroom floor. Or at least that’s the image your brain conjures up, unable to see it for yourself. 
Your vision’s only just beginning to return to you, and you immediately look down to see what actually happened...and fuck. It was you. Joel’s head is resting on your thigh, nuzzling into your soft, very damp skin, and he's looking up at you in awe.
“Shit, baby…,” he pants, chest heaving, cock still twitching in his hand. "Ain't ever seen you do that before."
You blink blearily, lips parting as you take him in. He's a goddamn mess. His face and beard are soaked, and his shirt is splattered with what you can only assume is your release. You fucking squirted? In a dirty gym bathroom?
"What the fuck?" you mumble, still dazed and a little in disbelief at how your first, and probably last, trip to the gym went. You shake your head, clearing up the brain fog enough to quickly process the past two hours, and now you're in shock. "Joel, what the fuck?" you ask again incredulously.
He has the nerve to look sheepish where he's still happily nestled between your legs post-orgasm, and you bop the top of his head with your palm, eyeing him expectantly.
"Wanna explain what all of that was?"
"Look—," he starts, lips quirking down into that little frown you know so well. "If you'd've heard the shit those fuckers were sayin' about ya. Probably would've said worse if I hadn't told 'em to fuck off before they got into some real trouble."
"Wait, you were the reason they all took off? Joel," you laugh because suddenly it all makes sense. 
You just learned the hard way that a grumpy, jealous Joel means getting edged until you black out. Pretty good knowledge to have for future reference, to be honest. Now that you're not sobbing with his head between your legs, it all seems so silly.
"What, did ya expect me to just stand there and let 'em talk about fuckin' my girl right in front of me?"
"I mean, no, but...I dunno, maybe just take the compliment next time and don't threaten a group of scary, muscular men," you chuckle fondly, cupping his wet cheeks in your hands. "Okay? It basically just means you have a hot girlfriend. Congratulations!" 
But he only grumbles in response, still pouting like a child. You bend down to press a soft kiss to his forehead, and he sighs, some of the tension bleeding out of his shoulders.
"What if, when we get home, I show you some of the techniques I learned in my class?" you murmur into his hair. He tilts his head back, eyeing you skeptically.
"Baby, we don't have a stationary bike," he says, brows furrowed in confusion. You suck your bottom lip into your mouth, eyes dropping to his lap.
"That's okay. We won't need one."
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THURSDAY
"You can't imagine what I'm 'bout to say. You really wanna know? You'll have to wait. (It's a surprise, surprise.)"
Blue, blue, blue. Just do it, just be blue! It's a great color—the best color, maybe even your favorite color.
You keep chanting at it, loudly and in your head, but the plastic stick doesn't seem to appreciate your encouragement. It just stares back at you, blank and unhelpful.
How much longer do the instructions say you have to wait? One to three minutes, that's it? It feels like it's already been two hours, but it's actually only been...30 seconds. What the fuck.
Maybe if you shake it, it'll develop faster. It's basically like a polaroid, right? And Outkast has never steered you wrong, so. You lean over from where you're still sitting on the toilet, pants around your ankles, to test your theory but it's too late.
It already has an answer for you. ...Wait, what? Both of the lines are blue. So...does that mean you're extra not pregnant? You snatch up the pamphlet again, actually reading through the directions this time, and your stomach drops. Pink was never even an option. 
Two blue lines. Pregnant.
You knew this week was going a little too well. 
Those random bouts of nausea, the weird cravings, the fucking breast tenderness. They didn't need to mean anything. They shouldn't have meant anything.
Fuck. Fuck. What are you supposed to do now? You're way too young to have a baby. Well. Okay, that's a massive lie, but still, you're definitely not ready to have one. Or to be…pregnant. You shudder at the thought. 
Swollen ankles, morning sickness, mood swings. You’re already a walking rollercoaster of emotions, and your back hurts from just existing. No, you can’t do this. 
It's not about the finances, either. You and Joel both have steady jobs and could make it work if you wanted to, but do you want to? Will he? He’s not your husband, not even your fiancée, so there’s no reason for him to stick around. It’s not his burden.
There's just too many unanswered questions. And Joel's already someone's dad. He did the whole baby thing by himself and got it right the first around.
Sarah's perfect—fuck, what is Sarah going to think? Stupid, this was so stupid. You thought you were being so careful. Sure, Joel cums inside you basically every time you have sex, but that's totally beside the point. 
You take those dumb little pills at the same time every day, just like you're supposed to. Except…when’s the last time you had a period? Did you even get it last month? The month before? 
Shit, that wedding—when was that wedding? Your coworker’s, the rich one who decided to have a fucking destination wedding in Hawaii a couple months ago. It was decadent. You and Joel were super drunk the entire time and fucked like rabbits for three days straight. 
Fuck.
Don't cry. Do not cry. Joel will probably be back from picking Sarah up from soccer practice any minute, so you need to hold it together. Maybe you just won’t tell them, at least not until you’ve had more time to process everything and decide what you’re going to do.
But, god, you wear your emotions on your sleeve, and even more so on your face. They’ll know something’s off the second they look at you, and you won’t be able to talk yourself out of it. You’ve always been a shit liar. 
Tears start to fall without your permission. You slump slowly to the floor, pants still around your ankles, and curl up into a ball, willing it all to go away—the tiny clump of cells growing inside your belly and the regret of being so careless, of letting yourself get caught up in a serious relationship in the first place. This isn’t something you can just wish away. It’s life-changing and nothing will ever be the same again. Was it really worth it?
No, no. Of course, it was. Snap out of it.
If only it were that easy. Sobs wrack your entire body, and you can barely hear yourself choking on them, unable to hold them in anymore. Your eyes squeeze shut as you desperately try to block out your reality, but it seeps up your nose and into your mouth, salty and unignorable. 
Blood rushes in your ears and you realize belatedly that you’re starting to hyperventilate, but you can’t stop. You’re drawing in too much air all at once and it’s making your vision go fuzzy. It’s all just too much. Anger, sadness, and fear consume you until you’re screaming with it, desperate to expel it from your body any way you can.
So, you don’t hear the front door opening or Joel and Sarah running up the stairs, completely panic-stricken. 
Joel reaches the ensuite bathroom first and all but breaks down the door, but he’s met with the sight of your half-naked body in a heap on the floor. Immediately, he turns to block Sarah from getting in.
“Hey, hey—no,” he says firmly, wrapping her up in his arms to keep her from seeing past him. “You’re not goin’ in there. Ya gotta give us some time, alright?”
She looks up at him, scared and visibly shaken. 
“What if—do you think she’s okay in there? Was she hurt…d-did you see her?” she asks softly, eyes wet. “Can I see her?”
“Not right now, kiddo,” he mumbles, kicking the bathroom door shut behind him before leading her out of his room and into the hallway. “‘m sorry.”
The crestfallen look on Sarah’s face is the last thing he sees before he closes the door on her. But he has to ignore how badly it feels to keep her away from you, at least until he can figure out what the hell is wrong and how he’s going to fix it.
Your cries have quieted since earlier, but not nearly enough to ease Joel's fears. He can still hear you through the door, hiccuping softly, and opens it gently this time, entering slowly as if he's trying not to spook a scared animal.
It doesn't work as well as he'd hoped. Your head shoots up, a small gasp escaping your lips as you dizzily pull your pants back up.  
"Easy there, s'okay. Baby, s'just me, don't worry," he murmurs, dropping to his knees on the floor next to you, but you flinch away. You can only imagine the hurt in his eyes, and the mental image tugs at your heart. "I need ya to tell me what happened. Did ya hurt yourself?"
Yeah, you could say that.
You shake your head, the only thing you're capable of doing in the state you're in. Trying to speak would be useless after all the screaming you just did and you can't bear to look him in the eye.
"Hey, talk to me. If somethin's the matter, I need to know, 'specially if we gotta get you to the hospital," he says, reaching out to touch you. 
His hand grazes your shoulder, and your body jerks so viscerally that you slam your knees into the bottom of the sink. You let out a tiny whimper of pain right as you hear something small and plastic hit the ground next to you. 
Oh, no. Shit. You desperately try to kick the test out of reach, to cover it with your body—anything to keep him from seeing it—but his fingers wrap around it before you get the chance. He sucks in a harsh breath through his teeth and you feel your whole world shattering. 
That's it, then. Even just a glance at those two blue lines will have immediately told Joel all he needs to know. Now he'll leave and he'd have every right. This is all your fault.
Your cheeks are wet again, but this time you can't bring yourself to care. Turning away from him, you curl back into a ball, ignoring the angry throbbing in your knees as you wait for him to yell or throw the test, or finally get up and walk out.
But he doesn't. Instead, you hear him delicately set the test back on the sink and then he lays down behind you on the floor, wrapping his arms around you and pulling your back into his chest.
His heartbeat is fast. It's racing against you and, yet, somehow his breathing is still so calm. The calm before the storm, you're sure of it. You tense, anticipation sitting heavily on your chest and lungs, and he can feel it.
His lips press into the back of your neck and even though the action is so tender and so Joel, you still can’t convince yourself that maybe you’ve misjudged this entire situation. Or that you’ve misjudged him.
“Sweetheart,” he sighs, resting his forehead between your shoulder blades. It hasn’t escaped your notice that he isn’t calling you baby anymore. You can’t tell if that’s for your benefit or his. "Tell me what you're thinkin'."
Time feels like it's moving in slow motion. You really don't mean to ignore him…it’s just that you’re not thinking anything. Lying there in his arms, your mind goes blank, giving in to the white noise of his heartbeat syncopating your own fragile rhythm. 
But somehow he seems to understand you completely, filling the silence himself. His voice lulls you into a false sense of security, or…no. No, that’s not right. It’s real. His security, his safety, is real and reliable, proven and palpable.
“Listen to me—I need ya to hear this, alright? I want whatever you want and if ya don’t want this, we’re not doin’ it,” he says firmly, like he means it with every fiber of his being. You do hear him. But your heart and mind are still rebelling, begging you to see their own senseless logic. Joel won’t stop until he convinces them, too.
“But if ya do…if—,” his voice trails off, cracking almost imperceptibly. At least, to anyone else but you. “—if ya wanna do this with me, then ‘m with ya. Every step of the way, ‘m with ya.”
Then, for the first time since those blue lines appeared in your life, you feel peace. And it's all him. He’s given you a choice—one you knew you always had, but never thought to factor him into. You didn’t think you deserved to involve him. But he does. He deserves that choice, too.
The floodgates open and soon you’re sobbing uncontrollably again, but this time it feels cathartic. Like he’s freed you from a prison of your own making. You find your voice, wet and shaky.
“Joel, I’m scared,” you weep, turning in his arms to finally meet his eyes. And there they are. Brown and beautiful and clear, unclouded by fear and regret, and you let them make you brave. For him and your tiny clump of cells. 
“What if I can’t do this? What—I…,” you hiccup through the disjointed thought, “—if I give up…if it’s just too hard...”
“S’why there’s two of us,” he bends down to murmur soothingly into your cheek, lips brushing against the corner of your own. “But ya can’t push me away anymore. If we do this, then we do it together,” and that lances straight through your heart, obliterating all doubt and setting your decision in stone. 
Together. You’re in this together.
“Okay,” you croak, sniffling as he wipes away your tears. You repeat it, clearer this time. “Okay.”
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FRIDAY
"You might think I'm crazy, the way I've been cravin'. If I put it quite plainly, just gimme them babies."
Doctors' offices have no business being as scary as they are. Bare and sterile, and not an ounce of color to be found anywhere but those creepy posters of in-depth diagrams of the human body. Gross.
You fight the urge to turn around and head straight back to the truck but, as if he can sense your plan to make a run for it, Joel places both hands on your shoulders and leads you toward the reception desk. 
“C’mon, we got this,” he says quietly in your ear, likely reassuring both of you. “We go in, they tell us you ’n the baby are healthy, then we get out.” 
You grimace. The baby. That’s still so weird. There’s literally a tiny being growing inside you, eating your food, and sitting on your fucking bladder. It’s like that thing in Alien that bursts out of people’s chests.
Great. Well, that’s officially off the list for movie night later, which Joel promised you'd have if you got your check-up without trying to escape. Technically, you’re doing great so far. And it’s an extremely tempting offer. 
Movie nights at the Miller house usually include a trip to 7/11 for popcorn, soda, and a box of your favorite candy. Those annoying cravings you’re just now realizing are because you’re pregnant would be extremely satiated by that. 
You’ll also get to curl up on the couch with Joel all night in a childless house because Sarah's staying at a friend’s. Win-win. But first, you have to make it through this check-up. 
Everything up until you’re inside the actual examination room isn’t actually so bad. The receptionist is nice enough, even though you can tell she deals with a lot of first-time moms by the way she treats you with baby gloves, and the wait time is less than 10 minutes. 
Yeah, you’ve totally got this. Or at least you did until the doctor shows up with an ultrasound machine and lifts your shirt to squeeze that freezing cold goop all over your stomach. You look up at Joel, scared and a little bewildered, and he takes your hand in his, rubbing soothing circles into your skin. The screen lights up with what you assume is a real-time view of the inside of your belly and, after that, it’s all sort of a blur. 
Six weeks. They tell you that you’re already six weeks pregnant, so you definitely conceived at that dumb wedding. At least you’ve got a story to tell. You’re also entering that fun stage where your nausea’s mostly cleared up, but now you’ll either be super tired or super horny at any given time. 
You try not to laugh when you feel Joel’s hand subtly twitch in yours. Of course, he perks up at that. Honestly, you’d be a liar if you said you weren’t going to enjoy it, too. Immensely.
Then, comes the big one. The entire point of this doctor’s visit, and the reason you and Joel are gripping each other so tight, you’re cutting off the other’s circulation. But it’s good news. Luckily, it's all good news.
Your tiny clump of cells is healthy, you’re healthy, and you can go home now, equipped with all of that very calming knowledge. One day, you’re going to have to stop calling them a clump, but you’ve decided today is not that day.
“Told ya it wouldn’t be so bad,” he teases as you walk out to the truck, still hand-in-hand. 
But his eyes betray his tone. There’s a seriousness to his joy, and you can see it so clearly in the way he’s looking at you like you’ve given him the greatest gift in the world. It makes you feel warm and…important. Loved. He continues, his voice tinged with something a little softer. 
“Thank you…for goin’, I mean. S’good to know that everythin’s alright. That you’re alright.”
You stop next to the car, meeting his gaze with what you hope is the same amount of love and affection you see, and throw your arms around his neck. 
“Thanks for taking me, and just…being here. Like, really being here, not just showing up so you can say you did,” you say earnestly, and he leans down to kiss you, his arms wrapping around you to pull you close.
“‘Course, baby. Don't have to thank me for that,” he mumbles against your lips. 
Not ready to separate from him, you deepen the kiss, running your tongue along his bottom lip until he opens for you and licking into his mouth freely. He groans as you press him into the side of the truck, his hands trailing down your sides to grip the plush of your ass through your jeans. 
You can feel him starting to stiffen against your belly and that carnal hunger the doctor warned you about takes over, the need to feel more, more of him overwhelming you. He’s just so solid everywhere. 
Your fingers skim underneath his shirt to feel his stomach flexing beneath your palms, and you roll your hips into his, gasping into his mouth at the friction. You’re so caught up in his hands on your body, his tongue in your mouth, that you don’t hear the group of people passing by on the other side of the truck.
But Joel does. He begrudgingly pulls away from you, hard as a rock and panting heavily. You whine at the loss, and he twitches against you in response.
“C’mon, baby, I’m not fuckin’ you in a goddamn Planned Parenthood parkin’ lot,” he chuckles, leading you to the passenger’s side of the car. He smacks your ass when you resist, and you shoot him a wounded glare. “Uh-uh, none’a that. ‘m takin’ you home. Owe ya a movie, don’t I?”
You perk up at the mention of his promise from earlier.
“You sure do. And candy, and popcorn, and soda,” you list off, easily distracted by the prospect of shitty junk food. You bounce into the car, shifting the seat to recline as far as it’ll go. “What are we watching?”
“Whatever you want, baby."
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Well, he did say he’d give you whatever you wanted. And for a while, it was the movie—you’d even picked out your favorite. But you only manage to get about 20 minutes in before Joel's arm around your shoulder and chest under your cheek become an unignorable distraction. 
Now, you want something else. 
You don't bother teasing or playing coy, not when he’s so solidly pressed against you, just begging to be had. Your body rises and falls with every breath he takes, and it’s so visceral, being close enough to touch and taste him, and yet not doing either. 
His neck looks especially delicious under the faint, fluorescent lighting of the TV, and your lips press wetly into the underside of his jaw, sucking delicately as your tongue darts out to taste him. His breath hitches, but he shows no other signs of being affected at all. 
Taking that as your cue to up the ante, you drop your hand onto his lap to tug at his belt, but he catches you before you can make any progress. You tilt your head back to look up at him, brows furrowed in confusion, but he just smirks, eyes still locked on the TV screen.
"You wanted a movie, didn't ya? Thought ya loved this one," he says teasingly. "You can wait a couple hours—I know ya can."
Yeah, you can, but that doesn't mean you want to. He was so into it in the parking lot, so what happened between then and now? You didn't think he liked this movie that much, but apparently you were mistaken. 
Settling back into his side, you try to shift your focus back to the movie, but then the hand on your shoulder starts to play with your hair. His fingers graze your neck, and you're back to squeezing your thighs together in frustration. 
He has to be doing this on purpose. Riling you up so much that once the movie’s finally over, you’ll be putty in his hands. Well, two can play that game. If he won't let you touch him, then you'll just have to touch yourself.
Your eyes flutter closed as you run your fingers down your belly, slipping your hand beneath the waistband of your shorts to drag your fingers up and down your slick folds. God, you didn't realize you were already so wet. You gasp softly as you trail upward toward your clit, but Joel's voice startles you out of your reverie. 
"Should ya be doin' that right now?" 
There's a tinge of warning to his voice, and it burns hot in your veins. You open your eyes slowly and he's finally looking at you, his attention drawn to your fingers still moving under the fabric.
"Well, you weren't gonna. What, are you—," your middle finger brushes against that sensitive bundle of nerves and you bite back a whine, "—you...ngh—gonna stop me?"
The hand that was gently stroking your hair shifts back to firmly grip the back of your neck, squeezing just hard enough to make your fingers stutter. He leans in, his voice dangerously low in your ear.
"No, I'll let ya keep goin'. But you're gonna do exactly what I tell ya to, ya got that?" he murmurs, watching as your hips begin to swivel into your own sweet friction. "'n if you're good for me...," he trails off, eyes dropping down to where he's slowly jerking off his hardening cock through his jeans. "...I'll give ya this. We got a deal?"
You want him inside you so badly, you almost say yes before he's even done talking, but then you have a wicked thought. A counteroffer, of sorts.
"I'll take your deal. But—," you start with a devilish smile, and he raises an eyebrow, waiting for you to continue. "Only if you touch yourself, too. Want you to fuck your hand like you're fucking me."
"Deal," he says without hesitation.
"Deal," you smirk, removing your hand from your pussy for him to shake, your fingers sticky and glistening. 
He takes your proffered hand but, instead of shaking, he wraps his lips around your slick digits, sucking you off each one and groaning at your taste. What you wouldn't give to have that tongue in your mouth. Or buried in your cunt. Pulling off with a lewd pop, he nods at your lap.
"Take your fuckin' pants off. Now."
Shit, he doesn't have to tell you twice. You quickly shimmy out of your shorts and underwear, and wait for his next instructions. You'll be a good girl for him. The best girl he's ever had and ever will.
"Spread 'em. Show me how wet you are for me," he mumbles, kicking your legs apart. 
You spread them as wide as you can. The cool night breeze filtering in through the open window meets your center, and you're suddenly aware of how much wetter you've gotten since you started. It almost makes your mouth water. You don't think you've ever been this turned on by your own body in your life.
Slick coats your thighs, seeping into the couch, and he looks pleased. You can see he wants to touch you just as badly as you want to touch yourself. Your knee bumps into his thigh and he hooks your leg over his, holding you open. 
"Shit, would'ja look at that," he breathes out in awe. "Prettiest pussy I've ever seen."
Your cunt visibly clenches at the praise and he hisses in a breath through his teeth, resting his hand on your thigh so he can lean over your body. He lingers for a moment like he's admiring you laid out for him like this, but then moves a little closer and spits a thick glob of saliva right onto your clit. 
Your jaw drops, a loud gasp torn from your chest when he grabs your hand, using your fingers to gather it up and swirl it around your swollen nub. Shit, if he keeps going like this, you're going to cum and fast. 
Dropping your head back onto his shoulder, you rock into your fingers, slipping through the mess he's made of your pussy, and your body starts to feel like a rubber band about to snap. 
"Wanna taste you so fuckin' bad. Fuck you on my tongue 'til you're nice 'n ready for me," he growls, pressing your fingers harder onto your clit. "S'that what you want? Wanna cum in my mouth?"
You turn to bury your head into the crook of his neck, nodding frantically as you cry into the soothing warmth of his skin. You're going to cum. Fuck, fuck, you're going to cum. Your eyes start to roll back as you feel it crescendo, and then—
Then, he releases your hand, cruelly and unapologetically. 
"Not yet, baby. We both gotta be patient, don't we?" he teases you again, and your eyes snap open.
What the fuck. No, you're not letting him edge you again. It was fun and all at the gym, but you're way too far gone to be playing games right now. 
And how isn't he a total wreck? Both of his hands are on you, even though that wasn't part of the deal, so he can't be taking care of himself.
Your eyes drop down to his lap, and wow. This man has more willpower than you ever could've imagined. He's so hard, you can see the tip of his cock peeking out above the waistband of his pants. And it's leaking everywhere, twitching and angrily dribbling precum all over the fabric. 
He looks...so fucking good like this. Fuck, you want him so bad. But that means getting back on track, and it's obviously on you to make that happen. Clearly, he's more affected by all of this than he made it seem.
"Joel, please, just tell me what to do," you plead. You'll beg if you have to. Whatever it takes for you to finally get what you want.
"Alright, alright," he concedes, taking sympathy on you, likely reaching his limit himself. "'m gonna let you make yourself feel good, baby. Don't'chu worry."
"Great," you grit through your teeth. "Then start by taking your fucking pants off."
He chuckles at his words thrown back at him, but listens, regardless. His boxers and jeans are pulled off in two hard tugs, and his cock bounces against his stomach, thick and wet, and unfairly far from your aching pussy. The hand on your neck moves to gently caress the side of your cheek.
"Gonna start nice 'n slow, ya got that?" he says, biting back a groan as he wraps his fingers around his neglected cock. He starts to pump himself, and more precum leaks out. "Watch me."
But it didn't need to be said. You're already enraptured by the way he strokes himself, slow and steady, swiping his thumb over the head on every upstroke. He's panting softly, trying to keep his hips from jerking up into his fist, but you can see how much effort it's taking not to.
"C'mon, baby. Gimme one finger—your middle finger, all the way in," he commands, his voice as tight as his grip.
You tear your eyes away from him while you run your fingers through your folds, still slick with his saliva and your own desire, and then sink your finger into yourself knuckle by knuckle. It doesn't feel like much, and you both know it, but at least it's something. 
"Now, follow me," he says, watching your hand as intently as you're watching his. 
You rock your finger in and out slowly, just like he said. Because you're his good girl and good girls do what they're told. It’s already a sticky mess, your finger creamier with every thrust, and he groans out his appreciation. 
"Good girl. Add another one. Not too fast, now." 
Finally, you get some real relief. Slipping your index finger in alongside your middle finger, you feel that little bit of stretch you've been aching for and you can't help but whimper.
His lips part, brows furrowing as his hand speeds up. His eyes are locked on where your sopping cunt is sucking in your fingers greedily and, fuck, he's even more of a mess now. Sweat dripping from his temples, chest heaving with the effort of holding himself back. 
So hot. So fucking hot. It's scorching, the way your cunt feels around your fingers as you fuck into yourself a little faster. They're rubbing your walls just right, your palm grazing your clit after every stroke, and his hyper-focused gaze makes it all feel that much better. You want to hear him say it again. For him to tell you how well you’re doing.
"—ngh...i-is this good?" you whine, knowing how pathetic you sound, but forgetting to care.
"Perfect, baby. You're perfect," he rasps, unable to keep his hips from snapping up into his fist as the sweet sounds of your wet squelching reach his ears. "So fuckin' good for me."
Preening hard at his praise, you push a little too deep into yourself and graze something mind-numbing that almost hurts with how good it feels. You cry out, curling your fingers into it again and again as you bury your face back into his neck. His arm tightens around your shoulder and he leans over to press his lips soothingly against your forehead. 
"That's it, baby, just like that. Doin' so well," he groans, lips brushing against your skin. His strokes are frantic now and you know he can’t last much longer. "Need ya to gimme one more. Just one—last one, promise. Then I'll give ya whatever you want."
Nodding quickly, face still cushioned against his shoulder, you add your ring finger, and fucking hell, you’re so full. You stretch your fingers apart, pumping them in and out the best you can, and they drag against that spot—every spot—with how tight you are. But somehow it’s not enough. It’s not Joel’s cock, so it’ll never be enough. 
Everything’s drowned out except for the wet sounds of skin on skin, and Joel’s voice, still just above your brow, talking you through your almost painful pleasure. He’s panting, whispering tender words that you can’t hear so much as feel with those soft, perfect lips.
“…tell me when you’re close, baby. Can’t feel ya, gonna need you to use your words,” he barely chokes out, staving off his orgasm, waiting for you. 
It’s already close, but you’re only teetering, stuck in a constant loop of almost there, and need more. You can’t reach where you need to, but Joel can. So easily and all you have to do is ask. He said he’d give you whatever you wanted.
But you didn’t realize he was already at his limit, and you don’t get the chance to tell him before he’s babbling, delirious with the need to cum.
"'m sorry—fuck, 'm sorry. Need...to—ngh, fuck, need to cum inside you...fill you up...," he moans, and he sounds upset like he can’t help himself, not anymore.
Abruptly, so much quicker than you can fully process, your fingers are yanked out of your cunt and replaced by his cock, and the thrust is so harsh, he hits exactly where you need him to without even trying. The whine building in your chest erupts as a wail as you immediately lock down around him, sending him over the edge with you.
Full. God, how can you feel this full? You’re so unbelievably aware of him cumming inside you and there’s so much, he’s already leaking out of you. And he almost seems angry about it. Your hips are roughly tilted up so he’s fucking down into you, eyes unfocused, and snarling like a wild animal.
And still so mouthy.
“You got no idea how good ya look right now. Fuckin’ glowin’,” he all but slurs, drunk on the idea of keeping his seed inside you. “S’that my baby in you, makin’ ya glow like that?”
"Oh...oh, god, fuck, Joel,” you whimper, your aftershocks still milking him dry. “Christ, y-you trying to knock me up twice?" 
It’s like that alone makes him redouble his efforts. You’ve never seen him like this before, but you like it. Something primal in you wants this as badly as he does.
"Fuck yeah, baby, gonna pump you full'a twins."
Holy shit. You’re not sure if you’re still cumming or if you just came again, but you feel an entirely new rush of pleasure and he hisses out a breath through his teeth like he can feel it. Not long after, sensitivity starts to set in for both of you and he stills, seated deeply inside you, chest heaving and eyes shut tight. 
His hands squeeze where they’ve been aggressively gripping your thighs before he reluctantly pulls out, but he keeps your hips tilted up as he drops to sit between your legs on the cushion below.
“There a reason I can’t lay down like a normal person?” you laugh, wiggling in his grasp. “Joel, come on, put me down. I’m already pregnant.”
“Just gimme a minute,” he mumbles, suddenly sounding so solemn. He turns his head from where it's resting on the side of your knee to kiss your damp skin. “Didn’t know I was knockin’ you up the first time, just…lemme have this, alright?” 
Your eyes soften. How this man can be such a sap after fucking you like that is beyond comprehension, but if he wants this, then you’ll let him have his moment. It’s kind of sweet, anyway.
“Okay,” you reach up to brush your fingertips along his cheek. It's incredible, really, all of the things you see in Joel's eyes right now. That in this single, fleeting gaze, you can see forever. "Put a baby in me.”
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SATURDAY
"Can you stay up all night? Fuck me 'til the daylight. 34, 35."
You’re convinced Joel tastes especially good in the mornings. There’s a hint of sweat to his skin, so naturally bitter and heady, maybe even a little tangy. It’s fucking delicious.
And he’s always hard in the morning. His cock is the perfect alarm clock, always reliable and super effective, whether it’s pulsing against your thigh or rutting into your ass. It’s your favorite way to wake up, but there’s usually not enough time to enjoy it to the fullest.
Not with work and Sarah, even Tommy showing up for breakfast unannounced. But it’s Saturday, which means you can keep your lips wrapped around him for as long as you want, make him cum as many times as you want, and taste him to your heart’s content. 
He probably won’t even wake up, at least not right away. Joel sleeps like the dead, especially on the weekends, and it’s been a long week. Even now, as you suck the tip into your wet, very eager mouth and swallow him down halfway, he barely stirs. 
That’s more than okay with you. You’d be happy to lie in bed, head pillowed on his stomach, keeping his cock warm between your lips while you wait. Relishing how fucking good he tastes and how your jaw pleasantly aches as you adjust to accommodate his girth.
But, soon enough, your jaw isn’t the only thing aching. The slick mess you’re making in your underwear right now is getting hard to ignore, but you don’t want to let him go. He’s velvety smooth against your tongue, dribbling salty precum down your throat, and his unconscious body is starting to respond to you more and more with each passing moment. This is your favorite part.
He lets out a soft grunt, twitching into the inside of your cheek, and your efforts become a little more concentrated and a lot more obvious. You try to forget about your soaked underwear and the pleasurable whoosh in your belly in favor of sucking a little harder, letting saliva pool in your mouth as you slurp loudly around the head.
His hips jerk up, surprising you enough to gag you, and that only makes your mouth and pussy wetter, the heat building in your core almost unbearable now. The moan that escapes you sends a drawn-out series of vibrations straight down to his balls that pulls even more noise from him, and your head steadily shifts with the rapid rise and fall of his chest.
He's starting to rut into your mouth, whimpering, and yet somehow still asleep, and it makes you feel powerful to have full control over him like this. To command his pleasure without any interruption or intervention, making him fall apart entirely at your mercy. You kind of hope you can get him to cum like this, to be his alarm clock for once. 
Turns out only half of your wish is granted, but you don't realize it until Joel's fingers are threading into your hair and abruptly tugging you off. He's definitely awake now, but he also definitely didn't cum. Bummer. You try sucking him back into your mouth, but he tugs you harder even as his hips chase you. 
"Joel, what—?" you glare up at him, but upon seeing him, you feel a little bad for your reaction. He looks so sleepy, still a little dazed from his unconventional wake-up call, blinking blearily like he's doing his best to stay awake. Your expression softens. 
"Sorry, got a little carried away," you murmur sheepishly. "But, um, you taste really good, so if you wanna go back to sleep, I can just keep—"
You're cut off by a hand trailing down your body, following the curve of your ass to dip inside you. He smears the moisture around your entrance, pushing two fingers into you, then pulling out to hold them up to his face. You watch him, enraptured by the way he inspects your wetness, how it strings between his middle and ring fingers. 
Then, he surprises you even further by sucking them into his mouth, his eyes rolling back as he groans around them before slipping them out totally clean. His cock jerks next to your face and you belatedly realize you're drooling.
"Fuck, so do you." He's fully awake now, eyes clear, but dark. Hungry.
"Huh?" you ask dumbly. 
"Ya taste really good," he mumbles, his voice low and so sexy, still thick with sleep. You feel your cheeks heat up. Oh. 
"C'mere, baby," he tells you, patting his chest. You crawl up his body and lean up to kiss him, assuming he wants you to taste yourself in his mouth, but he stops you. "Other way, sweetheart."
Your brows furrow in confusion as you try to work out exactly what he's asking for. Even though you've been awake and riling him up for what feels like hours, your brain clearly hasn't caught up yet. His eyes are unreadable, fingers tense at his sides. Like he's just itching for you to understand.
"Need you to figure this out—know you can do it," he rasps needily. "C'mon, smart girl, what do I want?"
And then it hits you. He's not asking you to sit on his chest, not really. He wants you to sit on his face. Needs you to. Sprawled out on your hands and knees where his spit-slick cock would be just within reach, bobbing temptingly with every breath he takes.
God, you want to. The idea of Joel fucking you with his tongue while he's fucking into your mouth makes you clench so hard it hurts. You bite your lip, meeting his expectant gaze.
Okay. Okay, you can definitely do that. Especially when he looks so...eager. It also has the double advantage of combining mind-blowing sex with a well-rounded breakfast. You have a feeling you'll both be full after this.
"Just so I have this straight—," you splay your fingers across his stomach, trailing down to wrap tightly around his length and tug upward until a single, perfect bead of precum leaks from his slit, "—you still want my mouth here."  
Your eyes stay locked on his as you bend down to lick it off, lingering to suckle the tip and tease your tongue just under the ridge. When he doesn't immediately tug you off, you take him deeper, preening at his harsh intake of breath. 
You don't want to press your luck, but he tastes fucking incredible, somehow even better than he did earlier. Maybe it's the way he's watching you, captivated and attuned to your every movement. 
He’s already starting to buck into you, shallowly, now an active participant in his own pleasure. His knuckles are nearly white with how hard he’s fisting the sheets, teeth gritting as he fights the urge to rush you. 
But his patience is wearing thin. Just a few thrusts later, he tugs you off with what feels like dwindling restraint, and your dazed, glassy eyes don't do much to help.
You look wrecked, and you know it. Lips swollen and slick with saliva, your lashes wet with unshed tears from the effort of taking him. He reaches out to trace your bottom lip with his thumb, hissing when you catch the tip between your teeth.
“Yeah...ngh—yeah, keep doin' that. Suckin' me just like that," he breathes raggedly. "And sit that pretty pussy right here—"
Then, without warning, he's suddenly manhandling you into position, throwing your leg over his head, and maneuvering you until you can feel him panting heavily against your cunt.
“Down, baby, let's go. Wanna taste ya. Now.”
Blunt nails dig into your skin and your hips stutter, dipping low enough for your clit to brush his bottom lip. It’s enough for him to get a taste of you. For him to finally snap and decide he’s done waiting.
Joel yanks you onto his face, licking a wide stripe from your clit to your entrance, his tongue immediately finding a home in your pussy. The motion knocks you off balance and you fall forward, his cock just inches from your mouth.
Bracing a hand on his stomach, you wrap your other around him and he groans throatily in response, the sound deep and muffled as he licks into you with increased fervor. And his noises only grow in volume, vibrating against your folds and sending jolt after jolt into your very sensitive bundle of nerves. 
His mouth feels so fucking hot, and the coarseness of his beard burns, making it hard to concentrate on what you’re desperately trying to accomplish. You’re already panting, hiccuped breaths puffing teasingly and cruelly against him until he’s pulsing in your grip. 
The promise of him throbbing just like that down your throat makes you focus just long enough to take him back into your mouth, intent on sucking him down as far as your body will let you. But, by now, any sense of self-control he might’ve had before is totally gone. His hips buck clean off the mattress at the tightness of your lips around him, and he all but chokes you with the force of it, the size of him. 
And, fuck, you love it. The way his stomach tenses, his thighs trembling beneath you. You can’t tell where your body ends and his begins, not when he’s fucking into you every single way he can. His tongue spears into you and your pussy rhythmically squeezes him every time his cock grazes the back of your throat. 
You’re audibly gagging around him and it’s filthy as hell, but you can tell how much it’s turning him on. Christ, can you tell. Maybe you were genuinely worried you’d suffocate him at first but, now, you probably couldn’t stop yourself from grinding into his face even if you tried. And that's exactly what he wants.
"...Harder—mmph, c'mon, baby," you feel him groan into your cunt, urging your hips even lower. "—ride me harder, harder."
How—he...fuck, he's...? Everywhere. He's everywhere. You struggle to do what he told you, to use him for your mounting pleasure, but it doesn't fucking matter anymore. You're helpless but to let him do whatever he wants to you.
Joel’s devouring you. Roughly grabbing your ass, moaning pathetically into you as he pulls your cheeks apart for better access. It’s almost like you can feel him swelling between your lips, and you try to pull up for just a second of respite. 
But, then, he abruptly shifts. His mouth lowers to suck gently, yet fleetingly on your clit twice, then he licks a wide stripe back up to your entrance. Except, he doesn’t stop there. Instead, he continues his path up, gathering your wetness as he goes, and swirls his tongue around your other hole before sucking hard. And it sends you reeling.
Jesus fucking Christ, that’s new. Fuck, and it’s—so...so good. It’s indescribable, how he feels right now. How he sounds—slurping you up, whimpering desperately like he’ll cum at any moment. 
And he’s loud, drawn-out moans escaping from so deep within his chest, they climb their way from that tight ring of muscle straight up your spine, where you can vaguely feel his arm snaking around you to claw at your back. You can’t think anymore—you’re done thinking. 
Now, it’s just him trapping you in place, the three fingers he’s suddenly pumping into your spasming pussy, and his cock, now abandoned and leaking on his stomach. It’s so much, bordering on too much, and you can’t hold yourself up anymore.
Your head drops unceremoniously onto the puddle of precum and it smears across your cheek as his hips urgently roll into nothing. But you don’t even notice. Not even when your eyes roll back and you start to babble deliriously, your orgasm building quickly in a place between your legs you can’t even begin to explain.
“Joel…JoelJoelJoel—I…you…,” you slam a hand down on the mattress as your thighs start to quake violently. “…cumming—‘m cumming, fuck—fuck.”
It doesn’t just crash over you, it rocks you to your core. Everything below your waist locks down, squeezing his fingers so tight, you swear you can feel each individual knuckle. Your jaw drops, parting around what feels like a silent scream, but you can’t be totally sure because soon, Joel is groaning so gutturally, you can’t focus on anything else.
At least, until he cums completely untouched right into your face. And he cums hard. Thick spurts cover your lips and chin, landing haphazardly on your cheek, and your tongue darts out to taste him, salty and sated and perfect. Exactly what you've been waiting for.
His thighs tense intermittently, a few more drops dribbling out of his slit, and you crane your neck, letting your tongue flutter over his head. As it pulses weakly against your lips, Joel gasps out your name, burying his face in your swollen pussy again. 
Lazily, you swivel your hips into his mouth despite the extreme overstimulation, hiccuping soft moans and nearly succumbing to the easy pleasure. He gently caresses your clit, enveloping you with a dextrous warmth that simultaneously makes you jolt and crave the sensation. 
Neither of you want to stop. Truthfully, you'd let him do this to you all day, drawing orgasm after orgasm from each other the way you have been all week. But exhaustion's starting to set in and you're not sure your body can physically take any more.
Joel slaps your ass and you huff out a soft laugh, deciding it's time to separate so you can get cozy with him again. The perfect end to your surprisingly athletic, lazy Saturday morning in bed.
“You gonna stop anytime soon, or do you just live there now?” you pant teasingly, grimacing as you slowly lift your head off his stomach. 
Shit, you’re a mess. You’re practically stuck to him, his cum drying on his stomach and your face, and you can feel the stickiness of his saliva mixed with your juices dripping between your legs. His hand trails from your ass down to your inner thigh, painting mindless patterns on your sullied skin.
"Sure don't seem like ya want me to stop," he chuckles tiredly, managing to suck your clit chastely one last time before you jerk your hips away. 
His head finally drops onto the pillow below him, and he lets out a disgruntled whine when you toss your leg over his head, plopping down on the bed beside him.
"Yeah, well, one of us has to have a little self-control or we're not leaving this bed today. And you, uh, look like you could use some tidying up,” you snort, scratching your fingertips against his already crusting beard. He mimics the motion on your leg, and you swat his hand away, rolling your eyes fondly.
It would be disgusting if it were literally anyone else but Joel but, here in this bed—your bed—it feels so natural. Like it’s totally normal that you’d be covered in each other’s releases, having a silly conversation on a Saturday morning as if you’ve done this all your lives. 
“Might wanna look in the mirror, baby. I’d be more’n happy to keep lookin’ at ya like this, but—,” he leans up to wipe a streak of cum off your bottom lip. His hand lingers, cupping your damp cheek, and you instinctively lean into his touch. “—you probably need more cleanin’ up than I do.” 
You eye each other for a few seconds, taking in how truly disgusting you both are, before bursting into fits of laughter. You’re smiling so hard, your skin tugs under his drying release and that makes you laugh even harder.
“Alright, alright, filthy girl,” he jokes, wiping a stray tear from his eye. “Lay down, I’ll take care of ya.”
He sits up and slowly slides off the bed, yanking your legs out from under you as he goes. Still giggling, you flop onto the damp, cotton sheets with an oomph and immediately take the opportunity to stretch out your sore limbs. You nuzzle into your pillow with a soft mewl, practically purring as you try to soak up the warm morning rays streaming through the gaps in the curtains.
You glance over at Joel as you continue to nest like a gigantic cat, but he's already watching you, paused in the doorway to the bathroom. His eyes rove appreciatively down your naked body and you observe him quietly, deciding you'll let him stare for as long as he wants to. There's no rush. Sure, you're still a mess and probably have the worst bedhead imaginable, but despite it all, he makes you feel beautiful. 
When he returns with a cool, damp washcloth a few minutes later, he's much cleaner and you're only a little bummed that the evidence of your explosive morning is gone. He's gentle and attentive as he wipes the remaining streaks off your cheeks and chin, and bends down to kiss you once your face is officially cum-free. 
Okay, maybe you lied earlier. This is your favorite part. Joel taking care of you, choosing to express his affection through his actions and touch. You sigh into his mouth, melting into the first real kiss you've shared since waking up, and it takes his tongue tangling with yours for you to realize he tastes minty. He's always so delicious.
Trailing further down, he wipes his release off your stomach, pressing his lips to each freshly-cleaned inch of skin, and then crawls between your legs to wash away the mess he made of your thighs. Your eyes start to flutter closed at the repetitive shift in sensation, his hands lulling you to sleep, until the washcloth hits the floor with a dull splat.
Well, that was over way too soon. But you quickly forgive the horrible transgression once his warm, welcome body sinks into the bed next to you, and his tousled head of hair and beard nuzzle into your stomach.
He mouths at your skin, his lips pressing sweetly around your belly button, and it tickles, making you laugh as you thread your fingers through his curls and scratch his scalp affectionately. 
After a moment of comfortable silence, his hand splays warm and broad next to his head. His expression shifts and he looks unexpectedly pensive. Uncertainty creeps into your chest before you can logic it away, even though you know without a doubt that he wants this. His lips begin to move against your stomach and it takes a second for you to realize he's saying something, almost too quietly for you to hear. But when it finally registers, all of that fear completely fades away.
"Hey there, kiddo. It's me, your daddy," he murmurs, his thumb rubbing circles into your skin as soothing as his words. He has the tiniest smile on his face, and it's growing wider by the second. "We're all so excited to meet ya. Me, your momma, your big sister, your uncle...we already love ya so damn much."
The room starts to blur into a wash of colors and figures, and shit, you're crying. But how could you not be? He's...talking to your tiny clump of cells. To your baby—who can't possibly be bigger than a pumpkin seed—with so much adoration, it makes your chest ache. 
You're trying so hard not to tremble or sniffle or breathe too heavily so you don't startle him, but that doesn't exactly work out. A few stray tears make their way up your nose, and you snort around your next inhale. Classic, clumsy you.
Joel's head shoots up like he's been caught and his cheeks flush that beautiful shade of burgundy you love so much. You don't want him to stop, but he looks so embarrassed like he thinks he's done something wrong. That couldn't be further from the truth. 
"I'm just emotional from the hormones, it's totally fine. I'm totally fine," you give him a reassuring, watery grin. "Keep going. I think they like the sound of daddy's voice."
He chuckles and reaches up to wipe your tears away, gently cradling your face in his hand before he slides it back down to your belly. He continues where he left off, just like you asked, but you have a sneaking suspicion he would've anyway. Joel's just one of those men who was born to be a dad. It comes as naturally to him as breathing.
“Heard that? That's your momma, kiddo. She's....well. She's somethin' else. Strongest, most lovin', person I've ever known and fuckin' sharp as a tack," he smiles up at you, eyes crinkling and bright as the goddamn sun. "And she's beautiful. She even sounds beautiful, don't she? Hopin' you'll come out just like her."
You scoff affectionately, shaking your head as you share a look that tells you he knows exactly what you're thinking. If this baby pops out without his brown eyes and curls, you're going to be so pissed. You teasingly tug his hair, willing him to take it back, but he won't. If your baby's getting anything from the two of you, it's stubbornness.
Then, before you can blink, there's a sudden tone shift. His hand finds yours, lacing your fingers together, and he turns his head so he's speaking directly into your belly. An exchange just between a father and his child.
"Wanna know a secret? S'just between you and me, though, alright? Don't go tellin' your momma," he says nosing into your soft skin, his voice barely above a whisper. You watch him curiously, squeezing his hand to get his attention, but his focus remains on your stomach. "'m gonna ask your momma to marry me. Think she'll say yes?"
Your heart stops and it feels like all of the air's been sucked out of the room. That's—fuck...that's one hell of a secret to share with your baby. You can't even imagine the kind of trouble they're going to get up to if they're already keeping secrets like that. 
His eyes flit up to meet yours, but they're not questioning or expectant. He isn't wondering what your answer will be. He just looks peaceful. Blanketed in an easy calm because he already knows what you're going to say. Of course, he does. 
Propping his chin on your hip, Joel quietly observes your reaction while he strokes the back of your hand with the rough pad of his thumb. You wonder what he sees on your face and in your body language right now because you're positive it's not the elation or excessive joy anyone else would expect.
You're not squealing or jumping up and down, or whatever newly engaged people usually do. No, that blanket of easy calm is more than big enough for both of you, and it feels safe and warm, just like you always knew this moment would. 
And you wouldn't want it any other way. Lying here together after possibly the most eventful week of your lives, filled with so much sex and love and family, and deciding that you want to keep doing this together, over and over. Forever.
You guide his hand up to your lips, pressing a firm, lingering kiss to his palm, before placing it over your racing heart. That tiny smile returns to his face and he crawls up your body so he can kiss you properly, conveying his love better than words ever could. 
It's still way too early for your baby to kick or give their daddy any sort of sign that they heard his question, but you're sure they wouldn't mind if you answered for them. It's a no-brainer, anyway.
"Yeah, I do."
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thanks for reading! 💕
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jaeedraszaerysz · 1 year ago
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JON SNOW ☆ DATING HCS
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SFW 💕💕
It would probably take him a while to trust you if you hadn't known him very long.
If you grew up with or close to the Starks he tried to befriend you before Robb did
He would always be scared that he would steal your heart away
You would spend hours mocking the men and women of the courts
When Robert Baratheon came to visit you both sat outside taking the piss out of all the Lords and ladies and any twat who dared speak low of either of you.
Tyrion Lannister defos assumed u were a couple and when you told him otherwise, he just shook his head.
Catelyn would probably despise you for being so close to him.
Ned would love you though, thanking the gods silently that the boy had someone by his side.
He would probably have kissed you before he left for the nights watch and spent his nights wondering whether leaving you was worth it all.
When you eventually found your way back to him it was rather chaotic.
You were probably interrogated by tormund on arrival
Atleast until Jon saw you, never forgetting your face.
You probably punched him square in the face and then proceeded to have a huge, westeros equivalent of Oscar worthy, makeput session infront of everyone.
Ghost, when not growling at random twats, would act like a second protector when Jon wasn't by your side.
Arya either loves you or hates you
Sansa is, just like her father was, happy Jon has someone.
Bran doesn't care. He's too busy wheeling around doing seven eyes Sparrow shit or whatever he called it.
You and Davos defos spend ages tryna talk some sense into him.
He always seems to be holding you in some way
Whether it be your arm, hand, waist. He would probably play with your hands or you hair often.
Is always bloody staring
Like never stops
His eyes are for you and only you
Takes. You. Everywhere.
Like no debates. He goes, you follow. Or vice versa.
He took you with him to meet with ramsay and if he made any comment whatsoever it was straight up a routine by now.
Death stare, holds onto you twelve times tighter, kills the offender within 24 hours.
Loves it when you fall asleep on him because he's happy you feel safe with him.
Head kisses.
Need I say more?
Everywhere anytime.
Head. Fucking. Kisses.
Walking past. Head kiss.
Sat next to him at dinner. Head kiss.
In an extremely serious situation requiring your full attention. Head kiss.
Dying. Head kiss.
It's like his fucking bread and butter.
When you first met daenerys it was bad vibes.
Like very bad.
No clue why she just doesn't sit right with you.
Either grows to love you or ends up hating you with a passion.
No in-between.
He dreams of having a normal life.
He would want three kids, two boys and girl so they could protect their sister.
Maybe another direwolf or four. One for each and one for you.
Can't sleep when you aren't next to him.
Teaches you to sword fight extremely early on in your relationship.
If you were ill or pregnant he would never leave your side.
Never ever ever never.
He's convinced that you could have a hundred children and you would still be the person he loves most in the world.
Would do anything for you.
Minors DNI below this line.
NSFW ❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥 (implied female reader)
Worships you like no one else
Touching you always.
Passes it off for his hand on your back but in reality he's secretly caressing your ass, or will have his arms under your cloak, passing it off as a hug, and will gently squeeze your boobs.
Neck kisses.
His favourite thing in the world.
Loves to leave marks on you wherever he can.
Has definitely kissed every inch of your body
Gives no fucks about scars or hair or anything of the sort.
Boobs.
Lives laughs loves your boobs.
Will lay with his face buried in them at any time.
Minor inconvenience? Someone was being a twat? He's tired?
Boob pillow.
Will eat you out for hours.
Insatiable.
You have any problems at all? Sit on his face.
If he's had a bad day he will legit just stuff his face between your thighs.
His fave place.
Says that if you suffocated him it would be an amazing way to go.
Probably prefers giving but he will never say no to receiving.
His dick is probs like 6-7 inches.
Takes tormunds advice very seriously.
Loves to see how many fingers you can take before he stuffs you.
Will go for as many rounds as you need.
Always a gentleman, making sure your comfortable and that your satisfied.
Cockwarming he loves.
Cuddles afterwards.
He will slide out of you and pull you onto on him, pulling the blankets up and wrapping his body around yours.
Calls you love but with his gorgeous deep voice.
Has a sexy asf morning voice.
He's so whipped for you he can't function somedays.
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you-call-it-a-dude · 1 year ago
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Call It Want You Want Pt.2
Pt.1 Pt.3 Pt.4 Pt.5
Summary: You get to spend some more alone time with Regina the day following the party. Sober this time.
Pairings: Regina George x Gender Neutral/Fem Reader
Warnings: internalized homophobia, swearing, feelings, and if I missed some other ones I'm sorry
Notes: Hello! Second part for this story. They're cute, they're fun, they're flirty. Regina is obviously still struggling but we love her anyway lol. I also just wanted to say thank you for the incredible support for the first chapter. Like you are truly so amazing and thank you to everyone who has taken time to read the story, leave a comment, leave an ask, like, reblog. Like all of it. Ily. Debating on continuing this story with more chapters or possibly ending it here. I def have ideas where I can take it, but if folks are satisfied where it's at I'm not gonna like overkill. So if you have thoughts on that, feel free to let me know. But, yeah, kinda a long-ish chapter so I hope you enjoy.
///
Regina, in fact, did not come find you when she was ready to leave. You sat on the front porch with an empty cup and the sleeping cat for almost two hours.
You watched her stumble out of the party eventually, pulling some random guy out with her.
You stood up and followed behind her, Roach following closely behind you. You called out to her and the fourth time you called her she turned around and called you a stalker and told you to leave her the fuck alone.
You didn't really take it personally. The little tidbits of her life that she shared with you tonight were making a bunch of things make sense and you weren't surprised by any of what she was doing.
You couldn't, in good conscience, let her go home with this dude. She was too drunk and he was too handsy and it wasn't right.
This frat fuck took a few jabs at you as well, laughing at his own jokes and Regina told him to shut the fuck up in a way that sounded way more serious and bone chilling that her weak little leave her the fuck alone she sent your way.
"Regina, it's late. Let's just go." You held out her hand for her and she just stared at it before shoving it away and letting go of the frat boy's hand, walking in the direction of your dorm.
You followed closely behind her and the guy shouted after both of you. Calling Regina a tease and calling you a cockblocker.
You walked back to your dorm in silence, only speaking up to say goodbye to Roach when at some point she made a quick right down a side street that she most likely lived down.
You watched her longingly, debating if you would get in more trouble for stealing a cat or for hiding one in your dorm room.
You had intended to walk Regina to her room, make sure she was settled with water and headache medicine. Just overall make sure she was okay in general.
Instead, she sped up ahead of you and didn't even give you the chance to tell her goodnight. She was in her room with the door shut and locked behind her before you were halfway down the hall.
When you went to check on her the next morning, she refused to open the door. You came back multiple times throughout the day. Finally around 2pm you asked to at least acknowledge you so you knew she wasn't fucking dead in her own vomit in there.
"I'm alive, you can stop asking." She said through her closed door.
"You're seriously gonna be like that?" When you got no response you scoffed and shook your head. "Whatever."
You walked back to your dorm where your roommate, Ren, had been setting themselves up for the entire day. You offered help in little ways because to be honest you were desperate to do something that would take your mind off Regina.
You wanted to see her again and spend more time with her, but like sober. It's very apparent though that sober Regina wants nothing to do with you at the moment.
It didn't stop you from trying though.
You made your next attempt around 4:30pm, coming to her door with an offer that you felt was going to be impossible to refuse.
"I'm going off campus to get some Mexican food." You said softly, your face pressed against the door. "Wanna come with me?"
There was about a two second pause before a 'yeah.' came from the other side of the door.
You couldn't help the smile that spread across your face.
"Come on then."
"I'm coming, I'm coming!" You could hear her shuffling around in there. She opened the door, wearing baggy sweatpants and an oversized hoodie, her hair thrown up in a top bun, sunglasses on.
You smiled when you saw her and you didn't miss the way she let herself smile just the tiniest bit when she saw you.
"How are you feeling?"
"Hungover and hungry."
"Let's get going then. It's only like a six minute bus ride." You stepped out of her way so she could exit the room.
"Bus ride?!" She shook her head with an appalled look on her face. "Ew, no. We can take my car." She dug through her purse and pulled out her clunky keys.
"Twist my fucking arm. Sounds good to me." You shrugged. "Wanna eat by the lake then? Take the food to go?"
Regina perked up at the mentioning of the lake and nodded.
"I think that sounds really nice. I would love that."
"Awesome, you lead the way to wherever your car is cause I don't know where student parking is."
"Oooh, do I know something you don't?" She teased, locking her door.
"Alright, alright. Don't get too ahead of yourself now."
You followed her through campus to the student parking garage. You were keeping an eye out for her obnoxious pink jeep but were very surprised to see her approaching an almost normal looking black midsize SUV.
Then you saw the little Volvo logo and that shock value decreased just slightly.
"Wow, no pink jeep? Damn this is nice." You commented when you opened the door and saw the slick black interior.
"My parents didn't want me driving something too targetable in the city. For my safety, you know?" She hopped in to the drivers side and pulled her visor down to apply some coverup and lipgloss that she had pulled from her purse.
"Cause Volvo just screams 'I'm not rich', right?" You teased and scrunched your nose.
"Exactly!" She agreed, and you couldn't tell if she was being sarcastic or if she just fully missed your point.
"Well, since we have a car, I'm gonna alter our plan just slightly. Better Mexican place, and better beach. Can I put directions in?"
"Oh, yeah. Here," she pulled a pink aux cord from the center console and handed it to you. "You can play music too."
"Wow, that feels like so much pressure." You joked, but you had zero idea what typed of music she listened to and were worried you were going to have your music taste judged.
"It's not, I promise."
"You cool with highways or do you prefer side streets? Actually, it's after five we are taking the streets.." You asked, then quickly corrected, putting in the directions to the restaurant. "I'm also gonna put the order in ahead of time."
"Just get me what you're getting."
"Enchiladas?"
"That sounds good. Chicken?"
"I can get you chicken. Drink?"
"Sparkling water, please."
You nodded, adding the entrees, an appetizer to share, and both your drinks. You paid for the meal with Apple Pay and pulled the directions up.
"You'll make a left out of the parking lot."
---
"Do you need a card to pay? You can take mine." She went to pick up her purse from by your feet but you grabbed her arm to stop her.
"I already paid for it, don't worry about it."
"How much do I owe you?"
"My treat. Don't worry about it. I'll be right back. I'm gonna keep my phone here cause I'm just too lazy to unplug it." You tossed your phone onto her lap so it wouldn't fall when you exited the car.
You were in and out within three minutes. They had your food packed up and ready to go. Your stomach growled at how delicious it smelled. You opened the backseat and placed the food on the floor behind Regina's seat so it was snug and secure.
You hopped back in to the passenger side and retrieved your phone from her lap, apologizing quickly when your fingertips brushed over the top of her thigh.
You nodded your head to the music playing, entering the directions to the beach.
"That smells so good. I can tell I'm about to fuck that up. Are you sure I can't pay?"
"No, you're driving us so I've got it. Make a right at the light." You buckled your seatbelt and Regina stepped on the gas to merge onto the street and it was both hot and terrifying the way she did that.
The beach you chose was only about a seven minute drive from the restaurant. When Regina found a parking spot, she commented about how pretty the view was and she was excited to be eating here.
You got out of the car first, unplugging your phone on your way out and shoving it in your pocket. You walked around to the other side of the car and pulled the food out. Regina got herself sorted and locked the car once you were done pulling out the food. She offered to help carry things, but you declined cause it really wasn't heavy.
You walked over some grass to get to the area where there was no sand, but instead different levels of cement platforms overlooking the lake. You found a set of steps instead of making Regina hop down the steep platforms which she seemed grateful about because she muttered 'thank god' when she saw the steps.
You picked a spot on the second to last platform and sat the food down next to you. Regina sat to your left, getting a perfect view of the skyline. You carefully opened the bag, not wanting to rip it so you could throw your trash in it.
You divvied out the styrofoam containers, the drinks, napkins, and plastic silverware between the two of you. You twisted off the metal caps to both your bottled drinks and took a sip of your lime Jarrito while handing Regina her Topo Chico.
You opened up the appetizer of mini taquitos and set them between the two of you.
You waited patiently for Regina to take a bite. You wanted to know if she even liked it.
"You can start first." She said, fiddling with the lid of her container.
You didn't ask questions or hesitate. If it made her more comfortable, you were gonna start first.
You took a big bite of your enchiladas and hummed at the taste, doing a dance in your seat because there was no other way to convey how good it was.
She smiled wide, scrunching her nose at you. You liked when she would smile and show her teeth.
You scrunched your nose back at her while you chewed your food. You pulled a taquito from the plate and shoved just about the whole thing in your mouth in one bite.
You looked at Regina for two more seconds before deciding to give her the space to eat and to not stare at her, even though the only reason you were looking was because she just looked so beautiful.
She took a bite and nodded while she chewed, humming 'mhm mhm' with her hand covering her mouth until she swallowed her bite.
"That is so fucking good."
"I'm so glad you like it cause I was totally worried you wouldn't."
"Is that why you wanted to pay? Worried I was gonna hate it?"
"No." You shook your head, mixing your rice and beans together. "I paid because I wanted to." You looked up at her, squinting slightly because of the sun, but you could still very much see the slight shade of pink creeping up her cheeks.
You both ate in silence and enjoyed listening to the sound of the lake or the conversations of people passing by.
You offered to let her try your drink and your steak enchiladas and she accepted both offers, sticking her fork into your plate to take a small bite of your food and then taking a small swig of your drink. She offered you a bite of her chicken ones and you accepted as well. She put a forkful of food onto her own fork and held it to your lips, her hand hovering underneath to catch any potential spillage.
You opened your mouth and leaned in slightly, letting her follow through the rest of the way.
You ate the bite off of her fork and her hand that was hovering underneath came up, her thumb swiping against your bottom lip even though you were almost certain there was nothing there for her to wipe.
You grabbed her by her wrist softly, which was probably alarming to her just by the way her eyes widened when you did it. You could tell by the way she was breathing that she was nervous and maybe even too much in her head right now. You pressed your thumb to the edge of her palm, encouraging her to open her hand that she had closed quickly into a fist when you initially grabbed it.
You massage your thumb into her palm, pushing upward until she got your hint and opened her hand for you.
You pressed your lips to the skin of her wrist. Once, twice, three times softly. Her eyes fluttered, debating between closing or watching you. You're pressed a firmer, more confident kiss to the center of her palm.
You laced your fingers together, mimicking the same action from the night before. This time though, she tugged your arm, pulling your joint hands to rest on her lap instead.
You didn't outwardly show how excited this action made you. You didn't want to make any sudden movements and scare her away. Instead you stared at the view of the lake in front of you, absentmindedly running the pad of your thumb over the tip of one of her manicured nails.
You felt her shift next to you, letting your hand go briefly so she can move the containers between the two of you to the side and out of the way. She laced her fingers with yours again and scooted up close to you, her knee pushing into your thigh.
"Are you doing anything tonight?" You asked hesitantly.
"Yeah, I have another party." She loosened her grip on you and flattened your hand palm up on her thigh. She rested her hand on top of yours, pressing lightly on your fingertips with her own as if they were piano keys. "What about you?"
"Ren set up a huge tv so we are probably just gonna watch movies." You were going to ask her if she wanted to join you, but you already kinda knew the answer and you weren't in the mood to get your feelings hurt.
"You can always come to the party with me tonight."
"Mm, I'm not sure. Kinda was not a fan of being ditched for most of the night last night." You nudge her playfully with your shoulder.
"I really want you there with me, though." She wasn't looking at you, still too busy fumbling around with your hand.
Which worked in your favor because you're almost certain you had some sort of physical reaction to her saying she wanted you there was her. Blushing, a change to your facial expression, maybe your breathing even got a little faster too. It was difficult to say no because you didn't want to say no to her.
"Okay, I'll go."
"Wow, I didn't even have to like take my top off or shake my ass to convince you." She joked.
"I guess I just want to spend time with you." You said truthfully, flipping your hands so you could give her some attention now.
You traced the lines on her palm with your fingertip, then traced up her finger, back down to her palm, then up and down her next finger. You repeated that action until you traced the entirety of her hand.
She scoffed out a laugh and shook her head, pulling her hand away.
You suppose that was enough being gay for her for the moment.
You turned to grab your drink and took a long sip, offering it to Regina afterwards.
Surprisingly, she took it and took a sip that was longer than the first before handing it back to you.
"The party tonight is a neon, glow in the dark vibe. Do you have something to wear?"
"Oh, gosh. Maybe? I kinda own a lot of black but I'm sure I could find something."
"I noticed, you fucking emo."
"What are you gonna wear, then?"
"Something hot. Obviously."
"Obviously." You mocked her with an eye roll and she laughed.
"We should probably head back and take a nap or something. Party starts at like 11." She started putting garbage into the plastic bag, cleaning up the area.
"11? I feel like you're trying to kill me." You handed her your empty container to add to the bag.
"Quit being dramatic, you'll be fine."
---
The drive back to the dorm was relatively quiet. Both of you too full and maybe even a little too tired to even keep a conversation going right now.
You walked her to her room and when you made an attempt to figure out the plan for later tonight, she shot you a confused look.
"Are you not going to come in?"
"I thought you wanted to nap?"
"Yeah, with you? Like in my bed?" She looked at you like she was annoyed you couldn't read her mind.
"I didn't know that was an option." You defended.
"Are you gonna sit and argue with me about it or are you gonna get in the fucking bed?"
"Well, obviously I'm gonna get in the fucking bed." You smiled, entering the room and slipping your shoes off. "Where do you want me?"
You stood patiently while Regina situated herself. Taking off her hoodie, washing her hands at her sink, wiping off the little make up she had put on earlier, taking her hair down.
"On the outside." She climbed into bed and situated her pillows and blankets.
You decided to wash your own hands, too. Pointing to the sink and asking if it was okay before you actually did it.
"You don't need to ask me to wash your hands." She laid herself down, facing the wall with her back to you. She scooted forward to give you room and patted the open space behind her.
You climb in once your hands were dried. You let Regina cover you and she turned herself around so she was facing you.
You put your hand on her hip, tracing soft circles on her exposed skin where her shirt rode up slightly.
"This okay?" You whispered, pausing your movements until she gave you a response.
"Mhmm." She nodded, inching closer to you and tangling your legs together. Her hand came up and slid under the sleeve of your shirt, rubbing random patterns on your bicep with her nails. "I had fun today." She said, her eyes bouncing back and forth from your eyes to your lips. "I'm not drunk anymore." She pointed out, leaning in slightly and bumping her nose against yours. "Kiss me." She whispered with her lips ghosting over yours.
You closed the barely there space between the two of you and pressed your lips together, pulling her in closer with the grip you had on her hip.
She deepened the kiss, pulling her hand out of your sleeve and gripping the front of your shirt in an attempt to pull you even closer.
You pulled away, nipping her bottom lip as you did. You gave her one more quick peck before pulling away far enough to actually break the kiss.
"So pretty." You mumbled, your hand sneaking up between the two of you. You ran the pad of your thumb over her lips as softly as you could, her eyes struggling to stay open. You traced her lips, over her eyebrows, down her nose with your fingertips. Her eyes no longer fluttering, but are just fully closed now. "Tired?" You let out a small laugh when she settled deeper into her pillow.
"Mhmm." She mumbled, sounding half asleep already. She pulled the covers up higher over the two of you, all but burying herself in her thick duvet.
You wrapped your arm around her waist again and your fingertips danced over the soft skin of her lower back.
You could feel and see her breathing change and you knew she had fallen asleep.
You closed your eyes, the soothing motion of rubbing patterns against Regina's skin along with the sound of her breathing made falling asleep feel inevitable.
---
When you woke up who knows how many hours later, the room was pitch black. Your mouth was dry and you had to pee so fucking bad.
Regina was still knocked out next to you and she didn't seemed bothered by your stirring so you didn't think she would be waking up anytime soon.
You searched for your phone somewhere on the bed. It was in your pocket when you fell asleep, but slid somewhere underneath you during the nap. You finally found it and clicked it on, trying not to be too loud when the brightness of your phone threatened to blind you.
9pm. Your eyes widened. Long ass fucking nap. You never discussed a wake up time or any of the plans for the night with Regina so you didn't actually know what time she wanted to wake up to start getting dressed.
You placed your hand back on her hip and nudged her.
"Regina." You said softly in her ear. Nothing. "Regina, baby." You said a little louder and she turned her head away from you with an annoyed grunt. "It's nine o'clock. What time do you want to get up?"
"Nine?!" She sat up so fast it knocked you back a little. "Fuck, I thought I set my alarm." She found her phone tucked under her pillow, making the same face you did at the brightness of her phone when she turned it on. She turned her phone to you to show you that she never actually confirmed her 8pm alarm. "Fuck." She tossed her phone and rubbed at her temples. "Can you move please?" She said with some bite to it and you're really just hoping she is cranky from being woken up so suddenly and this isn't gonna be another hot and cold situation like last night.
"Yeah, sorry." You turned on your flashlight and stepped out of bed, finding her standing lamp and turning it on.
You were not about to take the risk and turn on the overhead.
She threw the covers back and stomped out of bed. Muttering around the room about how she has so much she needs to do, that now you guys were going to be arriving too late and miss the peak party time. Who fucking knows.
You were still thirsty, now a little hungry, and you still had to pee.
Regina was searching through her closet now, struggling to find whatever outfit she had already planned for herself. Adding to another layer to her crankiness.
"Hey," you said calmly, walking up behind her and putting your hands on her hips to get her attention. Your thumbs slid under the hem of her shirt and rubbing against her flushed skin.
She paused what she was doing relaxing into you slightly, but you could still tell she was annoyed.
"What."
"I'm going to get ready and do some other stuff before we go."
"Are you gonna come back?" She asked, her voice sounding more vulnerable than you expected.
"Do you want me to?"
"Yeah." She said after a brief pause, but her tone had a slight hint of 'duh, should've been obvious' to it. She continued rifling through her closet, just less aggressively now. She even pulled out a belt.
"Then I will absolutely be back." You squeezed her hip reassuringly. "It shouldn't take me longer than an hour. Do you want anything from the vending machines?"
"Um, energy drink. I don't care what kind."
"Anything else?" You back away from her to start getting your shoes on and she just shrugged. "I'll bring you options."
--
Okay, so it was a little longer than an hour when you returned. You ended up taking a shower and going to the little convenience store area in the dining hall because you didn't like the food or drink options the vending machines in your dorm had.
You wanted some decent snacks for when you were drunk, damnit.
It was also more difficult to find an outfit than you had hoped. Ren actually had to let you borrow a cropped, white striped button up cause your were about two seconds from saying fuck it with the theme.
So you dressed it up with some rings and a necklace, put on your favorite pair of boots and hoped it was something that was going to be up to Regina's standards.
You knocked on her door sipping your own energy drink, the bag with her drink and other goodies curled in one of your fingertips.
When she opened the door, music was blasting and it looked like her closet threw up everywhere.
You smiled when you saw her though. Her hair was done, she had a slight wave to it and she had loose strands pinned out of her face so she could do her make up. She changed into comfy shorts and had a thin robe on. Her make up was only half done and she looked flustered and slightly annoyed, but also just really fucking perfect.
"Hi you." You tucked your almost empty drink under your armpit and opened the bag, rifling through it while walking through the door. "I know you said you didn't care what flavor energy drink, but I didn't know if you would prefer peach or cranberry Redbull so I just got you both." You pulled them both out of the bag and held them out for her. "I don't have your number so I couldn't like...ask."
"Oh, no. These are both perfect. I'll take whatever one you don't want."
"They're both for you."
"Oh shit. Thank you." She sounded a little taken aback by the gesture. "I'll do cranberry first then." She grabbed both of the cans from you and put her peach one in her mini fridge.
"Do you want me to open it for you? So you don't mess up your nails?" You offered.
"Ugh, that was so sexy. Yes, please." She held her can out for you. You chuckled as you set your drink on her desk and the bag on the floor.
You took the can, wiping the top of it off with your tank top before opening it and sucking the small amount of the drink off of your thumb as you handed the can back to her.
She thanked you and took a few large sips while she walked back to sit on the floor and finish her make up in front of her large wall mounted mirror.
You pulled out her desk chair and turned it to face her, watching her do her make up in the mirror. You liked seeing all of these vulnerable, human moments of Regina. The way she would get annoyed when her eyeliner wouldn't come out right, how she would have to take breaks and fan herself off because she would get so flustered and start getting hot.
She was just so effortlessly pretty, you don't think you could take your eyes off of her if you wanted to.
It was close to 11pm when she finally finished her make up.
The outfit that she had picked out was a sparkly white cropped top with some splashes of pink and a pair of white flare pants and she complained the whole time she got dressed that this wasn't the outfit she had in mind and it pissed her the fuck off that she couldn't find the shirt she was looking for.
She changed behind her open closet door and you kept your eyes glued to your phone while she changed just to be respectful.
She paired her outfit with a light jacket and some white platform sneakers and when she went to look at herself in the mirror you could tell you was annoyed and unhappy about her outfit.
"Whatever. Let's just fucking go."
---
She was a whole different person when you guys got to the party. As soon as she had a shot in her and was being social, you never would have guessed she damn near had a crisis trying to get dressed.
She was drinking, introducing you to some people she knew, finding glow sticks to put on the both of you.
Things were fine until you ran into Jack, a guy you both went to high school with, unexpectedly about an hour into the party. He was more surprised than anything to find her hanging around with you, which was more of a dig at you than her really.
You also weren't really sure if he meant the hanging around with you in like a 'you were kinda a nerd' way or 'you were fruity' way.
She left fifteen minutes ago to get another drink for you both and you're definitely worried that you've been ditched again.
This house had no front porch, no cat named Roach. Nowhere for you to escape really.
You perched yourself in a nearby corner, hoping Regina would reappear soon.
Instead, some brunette girl that had been eyeing you since you walked in approached you with a drink in hand.
"Where'd your friend go?" She shouted over the music.
"Get more drinks." You showed your empty cup.
"Oh, I was just over there and I didn't see her. Want this one?" She held out the full cup to you and you looked at it, shaking your head.
"I'm okay, thank you!"
"Wanna dance?"
You did a scan of the immediate area, searching for Regina. You found her on the stairs, talking with Jack. You stared hard, hoping she fucking felt your eyes in the back of her head. She put a hand on his bicep and you swallowed thickly.
"No, I'm okay. Thank you." You smiled politely. She leaned in to whisper in your ear.
"Wanna go upstairs?" She put a hand on your chest and played with the collar of your shirt.
You glanced up to see Regina was now very much so paying attention and she did not look happy. Jack was attempting to talk her ear off, but she was paying him no mind now. Her eyes glued to the woman's hand on your chest.
"No, I'm okay." You shook your head so Regina could see you declining her. You placed your hand on her wrist to pull her away, but she wouldn't relent.
Instead she gripped the material of your shirt and pushed herself closer to you, the smell of alcohol coming off her was nauseating and she got neon body paint on Ren's shirt and you really hope that shit is washable.
"Come on, forget about blondie. She left you here all by yourself."
"I said I'm good." You said a bit more aggressively. Not just because this girl was starting to piss you off, but because Regina had disappeared again and that was more upsetting than anything. You grabbed the woman's hand and pulled it off of you, shoving it out of the way when she attempted you touch again.
"Is there a fucking problem?" Regina's voice cut through the thumping music like a hot knife and you were relieved to see she didn't actually ditch you.
The woman turned around and sized Regina up for the briefest moment before deciding you probably were not about to be worth any type of fight Regina was going to start.
She backed away from you both, giving you both the middle finger and calling you bitches. Regina blew her a kiss and waved. For good measure she wrapped an arm around your waist, her other hand sliding under the hem of your tank top just to prove a point to the brunette that she could actually touch you.
You held your breath feeling her fingertips against your bare skin, her nails scraping just above the waistband of your pants.
"Come upstairs with me." She whispered in your ear, pressing a soft kiss against your pulse point. She didn't give you a chance to answer her because she wasn't actually asking you.
She slid her hand from under your shirt and the loss of contact felt more jarring than it probably should have. She hooked her index finger with yours and dragged you through the crowd of people, shoving through them shoulder first.
If she felt like you were falling too far behind or if there was some obnoxious drunk person trying to break you apart, she would give you a sharp tug to jolt you forward. You were apologizing constantly for stepping on toes or slamming into people. Regina on the other hand could not care less.
She was opening and slamming doors left and right, closing them before you even got a chance to see why. Though you weren't dumb and could only assume.
You were pulled into a bathroom at the far end of the house. Too far for the drunk and high people to even think about venturing to. You closed and locked the door behind you.
When you turned around, Regina was sitting on the counter of the bathroom sink and reaching for you. As soon as you were close enough, she gripped you by her shirt like her life depended on it and pulled you between her legs.
Her hand found your chest immediately, staking her own claim over the same spot the brunette had been just minutes prior.
"Fucking bitch." She mumbled, rubbing her thumb over the splotch of neon green paint on your shirt. Her other arm wrapping around your waist, pulling you closer.
You rested your hands on the counter space behind her, leaning in more and letting your hands support your weight. You pressed kisses along her jawline, nipping at her skin gently.
"It was hot the way you scared her away though." You smiled against her when she tilted her head up slightly to expose her neck.
"It was, wasn't it?" She smiled, feeling satisfied with herself.
You kissed down her neck slowly, taking time to appreciate the soft skin under your lips and the feeling of just be this close to her. Smelling the combination of her perfume, her make up, and just her natural scent was more intoxicating to you than alcohol or drug.
You kissed your way back up her neck so you could kiss her lips. She wasted no time wrapping her legs around you and letting her hands find their way to your hair, scratching at your scalp lightly while the two of you kissed.
She pulled away from the kiss unexpectedly, pressing her forehead against yours and rubbing her thumb over the shell of one of your ears.
"I didn't like it."
"What didn't you like, baby?"
"Seeing that girl put her dirty ass hands on you."
"Oh yeah?" You smirked and she gave you a light kick to the butt with her legs.
"Shut up." She rolled her eyes, but she was smiling and made no effort to disconnect your foreheads or to even stop fiddling with your ear. "I can go get that bitch for you if you wa-" Your furrowed your eyebrows and shook your head, placing a protective arm around her so you could slide her almost impossibly closer to you.
"No, no. I'm good right here."
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littlejuicebox · 1 year ago
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Handmade
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Pairing: Spawn Astarion x F!Reader/Tav Summary/Setting: Nine years post BG3 / You and Astarion are married; you now work as a Counsellor, Astarion handles your business investments. After a lot of hard work, the two of you have established quite a wealthy, wholesome life for yourselves. / If you're looking for more backstory and HCs for this version of AstarionxTav, check out my Highharvestide fics. Rating/Warnings: PG-13 / Holiday fluff / Sexual references / Maybe some mild in game spoilers Word Count: Notes: This is 4/5 "Days of Star-mas!"
I'm also entering this into the #BG3HolidayFluffle23 challenge under the prompt "gifts."
Click here to see my master list.
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Gift giving was, without a doubt, Astarion’s love language. He truly adored spoiling you with the most opulent things money could buy. A plethora of rare night blooming plants, ridiculously ornate gowns, a cabinet full of gem-encrusted jewelry, first editions of your favorite books (more than a few signed by the authors)… in truth, you’d been given it all. 
But well before this year’s Midwinter Banquet, just as the summer turned to autumn and the leaves in your back orchard were beginning to drop and kiss the earth, you explicitly told your husband you wanted something handmade this year. Something from the heart.
The vampire groaned at this stipulation. “Darling, I’ve got so many wonderful ideas. I’ve seen some beautiful dresses in the shops that would look wonderful on you. And a pair of earrings that would go beautifully with your eyes; just this morning I was in discussions with a horse breeder about purchasing you your very own riding horse since you seem to abhor the carriage… you just can’t be serious about this, my sweet.” 
“I am.” You’d responded, tone matter-of-fact, arms crossed, brow furrowed as you address your husband, “My love, we have everything. Everything we could possibly want and money to buy anything else we want or need, too. I’ve been given the most luxurious gifts for nine years straight… but I want something from the heart. I want something from my rogue. From the man that used to leave me flowers on my pillow at camp and steal me sweet rolls from the merchants. I know he’s in there, somewhere.” 
You step closer to your husband, peering deeply into his eyes like you’re searching for something lost deep within the pupil. Then you place your ear to Astarion’s chest and bring your hand up to knock on it. “Hellllooo? Rogue Astarion? Can you hear me in there?” 
Your love chuckles at your antics and grabs your hand, squeezing it tightly before planting a kiss on the knuckle. “Very well darling, have it your way. How could I say no?” 
You beam, overjoyed to have won this little debate. Then, for the next few months, the two of you sneak off to prepare your individual gifts for one another whenever you have a spare moment.
More than once in those few months, Astarion had rattled the door to your bedroom, threatening to pick the lock if you didn’t let him in that instant. You’d groan in frustration every time, quickly stow away your gift, and then rip open the door to roll your eyes at the pale elf. 
“It’s only been a few hours, Astarion. You interrupted me right when I was actually getting somewhere, do you know that?” You’d scolded, more than once. 
“Darling, it’s been several hours, not just a few. Why is it not possible for you work on your gift somewhere else? I need use of this room, too, you know. Unless this is somehow your way of telling me you’d like to sleep in separate rooms from now on, my sweet?” He’d challenged more than once, quirking his white eyebrow at you with a rakish smirk. Then he'd sweep into the room with a brief kiss to your temple and ready himself for bed or a bath.
“If I could work on it elsewhere, I would! But I can’t. You’ll see why.” You would always huff in response, wrinkling your nose impatiently at your husband. “And don’t pretend you’d be able to sleep a wink if you were made to lay in the guest chambers, Lord Ancunin. Don’t tempt me with any ideas.”
Astarion would sigh and dramatically roll his eyes at you, but continue to oblige your long stints alone in the bedchamber, nonetheless. He never mentioned that he only ever interrupted you when you exceeded more than six hours holed up in the bedchamber alone; even a vampire had to bathe and sleep at some point, after all. 
As for Astarion? He was regularly in the middle of meetings or reviewing contracts when you were working on your project, so his time had been allocated a bit differently. He would often prepare his gift while you slept… you’d always needed more sleep than he did. The vampire would slip out of bed and down into the parlor, where he would spend a few hours curled up in the sofa at work before cozying back up to you before you woke. 
Soon enough, it was time for the Midwinter Banquet. It was the Ancunin’s turn to host a dinner party; the Ravengards had just done Highharvestide, the Dekarioses had hosted Midwinter the year prior, and Lae’zel and Shadowheart lived a rather nomadic lifestyle that didn’t allow hosting parties. Technically, it should have been Karlach and Dammon’s first year to host, but as they were fresh newlyweds that had barely purchased a property that same month, you’d kindly offered them a pass.
As was typical for an Ancunin dinner party, the dining hall had been completely decked out by the staff. No surface was left untouched from the beautiful combination of candles, pine trimmings, and bunting you’d roped a reluctant Astarion into helping you string. You were quite proud of the bunting, which was handmade with dried oranges, cranberries, and touches of greenery. 
You were, as always, meandering about the dining room, far too fixated on the most minute details of the table settings. Astarion made his way over to you, as he did every time you hosted a party, to force you from your nervous habit of hyperfixation.
This year you were saddened to immediately notice the absence of Scratch as your husband entered the large wooden doors of the dining hall; the dog had passed that summer. Astarion, out of habit, flexed his fingers downward to make contact with the dog’s scruff, only to drag his fingers through the empty air. You’d seen this maneuver from your husband more than once, and as you watched him enter the dining hall, you made a mental note to find another furry companion soon. He’d never admit he was taking the loss quite hard. 
“Darling, it’s time for you to dress. And, it’s time for us to exchange presents before everyone arrives.” The vampire murmurs, taking your hand and pulling you from the dining hall and into the adjacent parlor, where your presents are sat underneath a tree adorned with baubles and more of that fruit-filled bunting you two spent an entire day crafting. 
You grab the small red and gold package sitting under the pine tree and grin, handing it to your husband. “Here, open mine first.” 
Astarion raises his eyebrow as he examines the package, giving it a little shake as he holds it to his ear. The package doesn’t make a sound, and he hums in idle curiosity as he undoes the red ribbon tied around the gift. You’re practically bouncing with excitement and anticipation as you watch him carefully undo the wrapping. 
“Just tear it!” You exclaim impatiently, and the pale elf chuckles at you and rolls his eyes before obeying your command and tearing the paper off the gift. 
Astarion is speechless as he stares down at the labor of your love. It’s a small painting, roughly the length and width of a book. The painting depicts you and… well, it must be him, cuddled in bed together. His arm is wrapped around your shoulder, and your hand is gripping the fingers dangling from that same arm. The two of you are laughing underneath the familiar maroon and gold bedspread always located on your four-poster bed. He’s in awe of the details: the little fangs in his mouth, his scarlet eyes and the glint within them, the pinprick scars on your neck, and the freckles along your arm. 
“Turn it over.” You whisper, watching as the vampire obliges with wet eyes.
On the back you’ve written: “My Favorite Place” in your delicate, flowing script. And as his scarlet eyes read the words, your husband loses his barely held composure, cold lower lip trembling as salty tears fall over his waterline. He tugs you into a crushing hug, placing repeated kisses in your hair, and you’re beaming because for once you’ve rendered the loquacious vampire speechless.
You’re teary eyed as well when you sniffle and pull away from Astarion. “I can’t tell you how many times I’ve tried to get it right. It’s taken me years, my love. I even snuck in lessons on my trips further into the city to meet with the other Counsellors or Wyll. But I hope you can see us how I see us, now.” 
Astarion nods slowly before placing the gift down on the end table, still overcome with sentimentality. He gives a soft chuckle as he wipes his own eyes and then yours. “Well, darling… now I’m quite worried my gift will pale in comparison, to be honest.” 
“Nonsense!” You promise, as you sit down on the sofa and hold your hands out expectantly. You’re bearing a child-like grin as you wiggle your fingers, bidding the vampire to continue on.
Astarion is nervous. You can see it in his crimson eyes and the twitching of his hands as he grabs the silvery package and gives it to you. His ears are flushed in that subtle way that only appears when he’s extremely embarrassed or aroused… though in this case, you’re quite sure it’s embarrassed. 
As you’re unwrapping the gift with much less care than your husband had unwrapped his, the elf in the midst of explaining himself away, “Darling if you end up not liking it, I’m more than happy to—“ 
But he’s interrupted by a thrilled gasp and ecstatic squeals as you lift a heavily embroidered blanket out of the plain wrapping box. 
“Astarion, how could I not love this? This is beautiful!” You exclaim, quickly opening the blanket and draping it over the couch to admire your husband’s stitch work, “I knew you were talented, my love… but I am blown away.” 
Astarion is beaming now, his ears completely red with some combination of embarrassment and excitement at your praise. He comes to your side and places a hand on your waist as the other one points to the bottom corner of the blanket before tracing up the width and then down the length in a repeated clockwise motion. 
“It’s… it’s symbolism, my darling. Of our love story.” He explains in a still-nervous whisper. 
You move closer to examine the piece and your eyes pick out bits of embroidered details between the floral filigree; you notice you recognize many of the plants from your own night blooming garden. As you move in the direction Astarion pointed, you note several obvious points of symbolism: a dagger, stars and a campfire, glasses of wine, that familiar forest clearing lit up by the moon, his old hand mirror, Lathander’s Mace (he’d conveniently left out the fallen crèche he’d saved you from), Moonrise Towers, the Warding Bond rings you two now kept in a jewelry box upstairs… on and on and on.
You follow the story all the way to the center, where there is a beautiful design of the sun, moon, and stars. At first, you think this is in reference to his proposal, but then you realize it would be in the wrong order. You can't quite figure out the meaning.
Your fingers stroke those center celestial stitches, the only pieces done in shimmering gold and silver thread. “And what does this symbolize, my love?” 
Astarion shifts slightly on his feet, fingers still flexing with anxiety. Your brows furrow as you look from the piece to your husband, wondering why he’s still so nervous when you clearly love the gift. He inhales sharply and bends down, putting his hand in the forgotten gift box that you’d all but tossed aside in your excitement. He pulls out a smaller piece of fabric. It's an infant’s blanket. 
You feel your heart stop in your chest as the vampire slowly unfolds the tiny blanket to reveal a beautiful scene of the sun, moon, and stars all done in that same gorgeous, shimmery thread. 
“My love, I… well, I think it might be time that we consider expanding the family. And Gale seems to be making great strides with the Wish Spell preparations and it seems that might be a real possibility soon and—“
You interrupt your husband’s explanation, crashing your warm lips into his cold ones, and he’s knocked off balance, forced to collapse into the sofa by the weight of your body careening into his. When you pull away from him, both of you are grinning like idiots and slightly flushed at the mere thought of such an impossible possibility. You simply give the vampire a little nod, and then break into delighted laughter, soon joined by him. 
Your husband kisses you softly, and then leans towards your ear, voice dropping into that devilish murmur. “How much time do we have before the party, darling? Perhaps we’ll do a test round before we dress. I would like the two of us to be well practiced when the time comes.” 
You smirk at the vampire when he pulls away from you, his face wearing that irresistible cocked eyebrow and a glimmer of playfulness in his scarlet eyes. You press a finger to your lips and feign humming as if in thought. “I think we might have time for one practice round… if you can catch me, that is.” 
“Why you little—” 
You don’t hear the rest of Astarion’s scolding, but you feel his fingers narrowly miss the curve of your hip as he tries and fails to grasp you. You’re off like a bow shot from an arrow, speeding out of the parlor and down the hall toward your bedchamber, swerving around the poor maid with a shouted apology. You’re grinning as you run down the hallway, thinking that for once you won this little game you liked to play with your love. But then Astarion is snapping his arms around your waist just as your hand reaches for the bedroom doorknob, and you’re laughing boisterously as the two of you crash into the bedroom and onto the bed. 
It isn’t until the maid is knocking on the door roughly thirty minutes later, announcing the arrival of the ever-timely Duke Ravengard, that the two of you hurriedly dress and rush out to greet your guests. Your friends would have been none the wiser, too, if it hadn’t been for the little love bites slowly blooming across your chest throughout dinner. Astarion brimmed with hedonistic delight, and perhaps a bit of subtle pride, as everyone slowly realized what you two had been doing moments before the party and tried with all their might to politely avert their eyes.
Sure, you two had been a bit naughty just before everyone arrived… but hells, if it hadn’t been exceptionally nice.  
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amcdanbury · 9 months ago
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Peter Lanza Interview
Peter got sent candy after the shooting he said “ I was wary of eating anything” incase the candy was poisoned
Adam Lanza showed hypersensitivity to physical touch and had to have clothing tags removed
Adam went to speech therapy and occupational therapy in kindergarten and 1st grade his teachers were told to look out for seizures
One time Adam had to show facial expressions for a school play he was very serious about perfecting the facial expressions and practiced in the mirror
Adam said in 5th grade that he didn’t think highly of himself and he believed everyone deserved better than he did
Peter said that when Adam was in middle school Adam would never stop talking and said “ that kid, you couldn’t shut him up!”
Adam liked Ron Paul and liked talking about politics and debate about economic theory
One time Peter took Adam to see Bill Cosby live and said Adam laughed for an hour straight
Adam loved reruns of “ The Bob Newhart show” and “ Get Smart”
Adam used his savings to buy Christmas presents for needy kids
In middle school Adam had to move room to room instead of staying in one classroom and he said it was punishing
Nancy made all of Adam’s textbooks in black and white because Adam said that he found Color graphics unbearable
Adam hated birthdays and holidays
Adam had panic attacks that necessitated Nancy coming to school
Peter said that Adam seemed to fit into the Tech Club and even had a party at his house once for the Tech Club
Nancy wrote to Peter saying how happy she was that Adam was talking to other kids but Adam didn’t understand popularity and asked his dad why do you need friends
A psychiatrist who assessed Adam said he was awkward and gaunt and refused to shake hands or maintain eye contact
Peter was about to get lunch when he saw the news about Adam
The news report said that there was two shooters aged 20 and 24 the ages of Adam and Ryan
The interviewer asks Peter if they had a funeral for Adam and he said no one knows and no one ever will
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myjealouseyes · 9 months ago
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Drabble request from 🦄 anon: Regulus teaches Wolfstar!daughter how to ballroom dance.
A/n — French translations from DeepL app so if anyone realizes something is off tell me and I’ll change it!
Send me a request here.
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“C'est bon, essayons encore une fois, chère nièce.“
Regulus is endlessly patient with you, even as you step on his feet every two seconds. At seven years old, ballroom dancing is much harder than you thought it would be. You’d never had to practice so much coordination before! And it was hard to remember when you were supposed to turn. But you’re not so worried. Your uncle Regulus says that it’ll get easier as you learn more and you were very eager to do so.
“One two three, one two three, one two three, switch. one two three, one two three, one two three, switch. one two three, one two three, one two three, turn! Bon travail!” You smile happily as you remember to switch directions almost seamlessly. You don’t notice how you were late on the turn or how you stumbled a little on your second switch. Regulus doesn’t point it out either as you bounce on your toes happily. Just as he’s about to suggest a break and a victory snack a soft knock sounds on the wall of the ballroom.
You turn quickly to see your dad standing there. From the way Sirius is smiling, Regulus knows he saw everything. However surprisingly; it doesn’t embarrass him. If there had to be two people he let his cold facade slip in front of he’d rather it be his brother and niece. You squeal and run up to him quickly. He catches you just in time. “Papa! Did you see me?! I danced like a real princess!” Sirius’s grin holds nothing but fondness as he answers. “I did! You were like a princess! A very graceful one!” He ruffles your hair to get a laugh out of you and of course, it works. He looks back up at his younger brother, his smile still present; only softer. He gives him an appreciative nod. Both of them know it means more than that though. They aren’t ready to say it out loud, so Regulus just nods back.
“Papa, Uncle Reggie has chocolate croissants,” you say in a voice very serious for a seven-year-old. “Can we have some?” Sirius debates; knowing he probably shouldn’t allow you to spoil the dinner you’ll have in a few hours. “One,” He settles. And you’ll have extra veggies at dinner time.” You furrow your eyebrows, seemingly thinking about his proposition. “Okay, deal. Come on uncle Reggie! Snack time!” Sirius puts you down and you run ahead to the kitchen. The two men follow behind you, affection and amusement clear on there faces.
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persephone-writes · 18 days ago
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A Diviner's Guide to James Potter
Chapter Fifteen: Repairo
James Potter x Fem!Gryffindor!Reader
Chapter Fourteen - Chapter Sixteen ☆ Series Masterlist
Description: Two diverging paths are presented to you: avoidance or intuition. Which one will you choose?
Word Count: 7k
Notes: as per usual, I know nothing about the divination that I use in this chapter, but I tried my best to make it accurate and also work with the story. I apologize if anything is super inaccurate!
You stayed in the Astronomy Tower later than usual, the early hours of the morning creeping up on you without you noticing. You were the last one left, ruminating over the meaning of the stars. When you finally became too tired to reasonably continue, you begrudgingly gathered your things and left. You appreciated the silence of your walk back, the castle appearing grander under the shadows of your lonely journey. 
The common room was empty when you arrived, and while you ached for sleep, your mind was still restless. You watched the stars outside the windows from your spot on the sofa, twinkling in the black sky like little candles lighting an otherwise unseeable path. What it led to, you did not know. You turned away, balling up your pass and tossing it into the fire. 
As usual, you were in out of your depth. The mistake of looking at James’s chart had been made, and there was no going back. Now, the insatiable desire to know more would always be there, urging you on and on until you had all the answers, the perfect reading. You needed help, though you had no one to go to.
As you stared into the dancing flames, the heaviness in your shoulders growing, the portrait hole opened. Your head shot over to see who it was at this time, praying it wasn’t James on one of his late night excursions. You weren’t sure if you were thankful or displeased to see Remus step through, his Prefect badge pinned to his muggle shirt. He seemed tired himself, though that was not unusual. He was always in a perpetual state of insomnia and aching joints, only making your problems seem childish by comparison. 
“Hey,” he said as he neared you, “what’re you doing up?”
“Just not tired, I guess.” It was a bold lie, given that you were forcing your eyes to stay open, suppressing a yawn as you spoke. 
Remus stood there for a moment, seeming to debate his options. He gave you a tight lipped smile, motioning to the spot beside you. “Mind if I sit?”
You shook your head, watching as he sat down on the other end. Neither of you spoke for a minute, each listening to the music of the crackling wood. 
“I don’t know how you Prefects do it, having to stay up late all the time,” you said finally, keeping your voice to a whisper. 
“I’d probably be up anyway. Besides, you astronomer’s do it just fine,” he answered, pausing as he turned to you with a mischievous look in his eyes. “So, I hear you’re in the dueling club now?” 
You groaned, slumping down into the couch, your legs stretching out in front of you. “Maybe not for long. I’m the oldest one there, I feel like a freak.”
“More than usual?” 
You only rolled your eyes, sitting up straight again. A log on the fire popped, sending sparks flying into the hearth. 
“I know we’re not that close,” Remus began, “but I feel like I have to mention it.”
You sighed, knowing very well what he was referring to. “I figured it was coming eventually.” 
“James won’t tell us anything. All I know is that whatever you guys talked about, it’s put him in a mood,” he said, smiling a fraction. “I think Sirius might kill him soon.”
“Glad to know we’re feeling the same,” you mumbled. 
“It’s become rather annoying.”
You snorted. “He has a talent for that.”
Remus said your name, more serious this time. You looked away, wary of whatever he was about to say. It was unusual for him to butt in, a bad sign that whatever you had gotten yourself into was far more significant than just you and James. This was bleeding out into everyone else, slowly unspooling your tightly wound secret. 
“I hope you don’t get upset with me for asking, but do you and James have something going on?” he asked hesitantly.
You let out a long, exacerbated breath, rubbing your hands over your eyes. “No. Why does everyone seem to think that? What could possibly give you that impression?”
Remus shrugged, smirking a bit at your discouraging expression. “Don’t get me wrong, I’d be a surprise. You know that James is shite at keeping secrets from us. But if it were true, I’d believe it.”
“That did nothing to answer my question,” you said, your voice flat. 
“Well, he got pretty pissy when you said you weren’t shagging.” 
“That's just how he is,” you grumbled. 
“No, it’s not,” Remus said with a shake of his head, still amused by your annoyance. You raised your brows, unconvinced. “Sometimes he is,” he amended, “but most of the time it’s a joke. He’s not really upset when we call him a git or say his glasses make him look like Minnie.”
You snorted at the memory of the joke which once dominated all conversation. Peter had come up with it during the first quidditch match last year, though Sirius couldn’t let it go until it fully ran its course, thus becoming entirely unfunny by January. 
“That one was true,” you chuckled. “That’s what he gets for trying out a different pair. Can’t reinvent the wheel.”
“Was that a pun?” 
You huffed, rolling your eyes. 
“Y’know,” Remus began again, “sometimes the way you look at each other is bloody disgusting, like we shouldn’t even be in the same room with you two.”
You didn’t respond, your chest growing heavy at the similarity between his and Marlene’s words. It was two for two, doubling the believability, though not enough to convince you just yet. 
Remus laughed a bit, continuing despite your silence, “Any minute I expect you guys to start snogging.”
“Well, that’s never gonna happen,” you said, another pang running through your heart. 
Remus sighed, standing up from his spot on the sofa and glancing down at you. His eyes were soft as you met them, his smile weak but nonetheless one of a good friend. “I won’t say it, ‘cause I have a feeling that's why you’ve been shooting daggers at Padfoot for over a week,” he paused, considering the shift in your expression, “but, I know…or at least I think I do.”
Again, you didn’t say anything. You didn’t even know if you had anything to say, your breath quivering a bit as your eyes shot back towards the hearth. Remus allowed you to stay mute, moving around the side of the sofa to head to the dormitories. Before he left, he came behind you, giving you a small pat on the shoulder, just like he would’ve done for one of the guys. 
“Give it a shot,” he said, continuing towards the staircase, “you might be surprised.”
⋆☆⋆。⋆☆⋆。⋆☆⋆。⋆☆⋆。⋆☆⋆。⋆☆⋆。⋆☆⋆。⋆☆⋆。⋆☆⋆
“Listen to this, ‘Merchum denies that Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry could be a target for any attack, violent or otherwise, despite rumors to the contrary. While agents of He Who Shall Not Be Named largely remain unknown, various high ranking Ministry officials have been ousted as part of their ranks. Other lower level Ministry employees have also been linked to a network of informants aiding in the recent attacks. When asked if it was plausible that Hogwarts has also been breached, or could be in the future, Minster Merchum stated, “...my faith in Headmaster Dumbledore is unmatched, as if my belief that our increased security efforts shall thwart—”’ bla, bla, bla,” Dorcas said, abruptly ending her reading with a groan. “Well, we know that’s a load of rubbish.”
In an act of solidarity, your friends were lounging about your dormitory Wednesday morning during your free period. Wednesdays were always slow days, even for Lily, who’s schedule was the most packed out of anyone you knew. 
Lily put down her book, taking the Daily prophet from Dorcas across from her and scanning over the article. Her bottom lip pulled between her teeth, her head not lifting even when Marlene began to speak. 
“I’m starting to agree with Sirius about Merchum, which is not a pleasant thought.” 
Dorcas snorted a bit, shaking her head with a small, joyless smile. 
“How many years is it going to go on? It feels like twenty by now,” you said, groggy from what felt like the longest three days of your life. Your DADA homework couldn’t have been helping. 
“It just about has been,” said Marlene, her head falling in her hand. She looked to Lily, who finally glanced up. 
“Another child was attacked,” Lily said, dropping the paper onto her lap. “It’s been a while since that’s happened. I’m starting to think Sirius may be right, as well.”
You rubbed your eyes as you tried will away the thought of someone like Remus, only five years old, asleep in bed while someone stalked just outside their window. 
“I wonder what they’re doing with them,” you said softly. “The Slytherins and Zephyr, I mean.”
“Hopefully they’ve thrown them all in the tower cell,” said Dorcas with a sneer.
“They wouldn’t do that,” Lily said, beginning to fold up the paper, concealing the dreary article from view. “But I have no doubt Dumbledore is taking care of it. He’s been able to keep it all out of Hogwarts this long. It’s out there where they’re having trouble.”
Out there. You sat silently, letting the awful phrase ring out in your skull. There were so many reasons to hate it out there, to loathe its very existence. You thought you ought to write to your parents more often, even though you had no idea what you would even say. Maybe you’d just let them know you pitied them and their occupation of out there, the place where things occur.
“How many months till we’re out of here?” Marlene asked.
“A little over three,” Lily answered, her mind clearly elsewhere. She wasn’t looking at either of you, gnawing at her lip again. 
“How exciting,” Marlene drawled.
“Yeah,” you said mindlessly, the threat of July looming over you like chimney smoke. 
You shook your head as if to clear your thoughts, remembering an issue that somehow seemed far more pressing. You’d been itching to go to the Library to gather more materials on astrology, though you hadn’t had the chance yet. While your astrological talents were likely one the best out of the Gryffindor's, you were nowhere near skilled enough to get a full, in depth reading on yours and James’s charts just with a single reference book. However, if you went to the Library now, Lily would surely want to come along, forcing you to wait until all three of your dormmates left for Herbology. 
When they had gone, you headed straight to the Divination section of the Library and grabbed as many relevant books as you could find. However, despite hours of work, your readings were still elementary at best. As lunch neared, you realized that all the books in the world were no match for a true diviner’s perspective. You lugged them back to their shelves with a sour huff, mulling over your options. There were only two, though neither of them seemed pleasant. You could either learn to be happy with what you had, or seek out the help of a professional. 
Making up your mind quicker than expected, you plopped back down at your table, pulling out a couple new sheets of parchment. You made separate charts for you and James, devoid of your interpretations or any indication of who they were about. You slipped them back into your bag, safe until you’d need them. Professional, it was. 
You and Peter walked together to Transfiguration after Divination, though it was not without its own awkwardness. It was a habit that felt odd to break, so ingrained in your routines that not doing so seemed worse than pushing through your sporadic, dull conversations. You made small talk about Quattlebaum’s new peacock-feathered cap, though Peter’s laughs were half hearted and strained. The relief you each felt when you reached the Transfiguration classroom was evident by your shared sighs and lack of goodbyes. 
James hadn’t bothered you since yesterday morning, and by the look of it, it didn’t seem like he was planning on doing so anytime soon. You snuck a single glance his way, only to find his eyes glued to his parchment, scribbling down notes. Like before, the Slytherins and Zephyr were absent, though no word on their whereabouts had slipped past the tight lips of the professors. People had begun to talk, at least in Gryffindor, about their sudden disappearance, though not one of you had let the circumstances out. Everyone besides your group was completely in the dark, and you wanted to keep it that way. 
“Mister Black!” McGonagall snapped in the middle of her lecture. 
Everyone dropped their quills, the room growing dead quiet. You looked to Sirius, who had perked up in his seat at the sound of his name. He brushed his hair behind his ears, startled by her scolding. 
McGonagall clasped her hands in front of her, still looking towards him with harsh eyes. “If you are so skilled in Transfiguration that this class has become boring enough to nap in, I suggest you come to the front and teach it yourself.”
“Sorry, Professor,” Sirius said, though his voice had a playful tilt, just the right amount to get him out of trouble without losing his reputation. 
You rolled your eyes, sharing a look with Lily. 
“Five points from Gryffindor,” McGonagall said, turning back to the class. “As I was saying…”
Just then, a fluttering scrap of parchment in the shape of a crane weaved through the feet of other students, moving under their desks before landing directly in front of you. You stared at it a moment before looking around, though all your classmates were either focused on McGonagall or their own papers. Even Sirius was staring at your professor, his head resting in his hand. You turned to Lily, who gave an equal expression of perplexity towards the paper. With McGonagall still speaking, her eyes roving across the class, Lily shrugged, going back to taking her notes. 
Slowly, you grabbed the paper and pulled it under your desk, the sound of you opening it masked by the cacophony of scratching quills. You instantly recognized the chicken scratch, your heart hammering. 
I’m sorry. 
You shoved it into your bag, your shoulders tensing. You didn’t dare another glance towards him, lest you meet his dark brown eyes, enchanted with the strong will of a friend aching to be forgiven. 
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You stood at the base of the ladder just before last period ended, waiting for the Divination class to leave for the day. When all was clear you climbed up, poking your head into the hatch and peering into the room, though Quattlebaum was nowhere to be found. 
“Professor?” you called, climbing inside. 
Suddenly, Quattlebaum came around the corner, his peacock-feathered cap bouncing with every step. “Miss L/N, is it Monday already?” 
Unsure if he was joking or not, you shook your head. “I was wondering if I could ask for your help on something.”
“Oh! And what might that be?” he asked, flicking his wand towards the tables. Various cups and teapots flew through the air, their contents disappearing before they piled themselves onto the stack in the corner. 
“I wanted to practice my astrology, so I decided to try interpreting the compatibility of these charts, but I’m a bit stuck,” you said, reaching into your bag for the charts.
He took the parchment from you, his smile widening. “How exquisite! I’d be delighted to aid in your extracurricular astrological studies. Please, take a seat.”
He took a seat at his desk, placing the charts in front of him to read further. You sat in the chair opposite, fiddling with the sleeves of your robes as you watched his eyes run along your drawings. 
“Splendid penmanship,” Quattlebaum said with a joyful gasp. “Did you source your calculations through the Astronomy records?”
“Yes,” you answered, your nerves worsening when he paused over your chart. 
He hummed, looking up. “How did you choose these particular dates?” 
“Oh, um,” you stuttered, “I was working on a chart for a friend, so I was already on 1960. I figured I would just flip to two random dates for practice.”  
“I see,” he muttered, smiling softly. 
“I already made my own compatibility report on these two charts, but I wanted an expert's opinion to compare to my own,” you said, growing more and more certain he knew what was going on. You couldn’t recall if he knew your birthday or not, though if he did, it would be plainly evident that this was not an extracurricular endeavor but a personal project. 
Quattlebaum made no further sign that he made this connection, taking your chart in his hands as he leaned back in his chair. His lips were still quirked when he picked up James’s chart, holding them side by side. He sat this way for what felt like an hour, his gaze darting between them. Soon, his mouth dropped into something meditative, a small crease forming between his brows. 
You took a breath as he leaned forward, dropping the parchment onto his desk without glancing towards you. 
“There is tension, much tension,” he began with another hum, “particularly in the Square Sun and Lunar node, as well as the conjunction of Sun and Lilith. Pluto and Saturn are also points of weakness…though not without hope. No! Such charts display a great deal of celestial attraction, harmony within differences. There is a circling, a twin orbit of magnetic power. They likely feel a great pull towards one another, an intense, possibly overwhelming connection which may take great adversity to sever. There is deep understanding despite their unique approaches to conflict, a longing to adopt outlooks which they do not naturally possess.”
He paused, his eyes darting to yours as he pointed towards your chart. “This individual grounds the other, offers an alternative to direct action which may prove impetuous. The other may encourage greater impulsivity, a reliance on the strong intuition which the first holds but does not employ. Such creates a degree of strain, a push and pull…though together they balance what is insufficient. However, an exact prediction of their compatibility is impossible, I’m afraid. As you well know, Miss L/N, our births are rarely our ends.”
You nodded, mulling over his words. Although he had given you a more thorough understanding, you were still desperate for more, grasping at anything you could find. 
“Is there nothing more you can tell me?” you asked, hopeful he would oblige you. 
He did not speak for a moment, his gaze distant. “If they were able to reach friendship, to find each other in commonality within the fog of our mysterious universe, then the stars tell us much. The Trine Sun and Mars point towards a prevailing kinship, and Venus and Mars to passion, though there is no way of knowing if such a thing did, or will occur. That passion may be in anger, their kinship unable to break through learned prejudices. These sorts of pairings have the possibility for extraordinary success or equal failure.”
Your chest felt heavy, as did everything. You wondered if it had happened in reverse: first came kinship, next prejudice. “I see.” 
Quattlebaum was quiet for a few seconds, lost in thought. Finally, he made another noise of intrigue, his head cocking to the side. “However…if their initial meeting was positive, the outlook does appear far more hopeful.”
You sat up straighter, your heart leaping. “Really?”
“I believe so,” he began. “You seem rather invested in this pair, given they were chosen at random.”
“Oh, I just happened to get a similar reading,” you said, trailing off. 
“A similar reading,” he repeated. 
You swallowed, your hands still fidgeting. 
“I can offer you no more, I’m afraid.” Quattlebaum stacked up the parchment, handing it back to you. “Though I hope I was able to be of some help to you.”
You slipped it inside your bag, standing up to leave. “Thank you, Professor—”
“Please, sit a moment longer,” he said, motioning towards the chair. 
Slowly, you dropped your bag onto the floor, sitting back down. You sat stiffly, dreading whatever he was about to say. 
“Your aura, I’ve noticed, has not been as bright as usual.” 
“I’ve been told,” you said warily. 
Quattlebaum smiled. “Yes, Sybill mentioned it to me on Monday, though of course I noticed myself. I believe she thinks it’s time for me to retire, and she may be correct,” he chuckled, the feathers on his cap bouncing again. “Is there anything you’d like to tell me? In confidence, of course.”
You looked down at your lap with a shrug. “Something happened with my classmates this weekend. I’m all right, though.”
“Yes, yes, all the professors have been informed,” he said, his voice laced with genuine sadness. “Such a dreaded ordeal, indeed. But this is not what I speak of.”
Your shoulders stayed slumped, still unable to meet his eyes. You pressed your mouth tight, unwilling to speak about your more intimate problems. 
“Your aura shows you have been deeply shaken by a great change, one that is far larger than the unfortunate decisions made by your classmates. It is filled with uncertainty. Am I correct?”
You peeked up through your lashes, finding his expression softened and less animated than usual. You nodded, your mouth turning down into a frown. 
Quattlebaum stood, walking around his classroom towards a tall, purple cabinet. He opened a drawer, taking out a deck of tarot cards and bringing it back over to his desk. He dropped them down onto the table, though before they hit the surface they spread out in a line, whizzing through the air creating various rings which circled around each other. You watched as this frenzy halted, once again forming a line before settling back down onto the desk. 
“The forking paths, you learned it fifth year. A helpful spread when faced with difficult decisions.”
You sighed, pondering whether this was an excellent idea or an awful one. A professor learning about the fact you were in love with one of your friends was not exactly something you were aiming for. Though, even if Quattlebaum did learn everything, who’d believe him?
You reached out, pulling a card from the deck and placing it face down onto the table. 
“Uncertainty presents us with two choices, decision and indecision,” said Quattlebaum, watching as you did the same to another. “The choice to act or not to act is always first. All others come after.” 
With a flick of his wrist, the cards formed a pile again. He flipped over the first of your cards, an omen you had not stumbled upon but welcomed. However, this did nothing to prevent your anxiety from taking over as you saw what it was, Eight of Cups, reversed.
“Avoidance of the natural flow of life,” he began, his voice low. “Loss and lacking change, the great beasts in the way of growth. You have expected this much.”
You nodded, swallowing as you flipped over the second, the High Priestess, upright.
“Intuition, the truth that lives within us all. Some may see it clearer at first glance, though all possess this gift.” Quattlebaum moved your two cards to the top of his desk, grabbing the deck. “You have been shown your trailheads. Now, connect with your inner sight, choose the path presented by the Eight of Cups: elusion, fallowness.”
You closed your eyes, rooting your feet on the floor as you imagined it: throwing the crane into the fire, scurrying to your dormitory, hiding in the library, going back to the way things used to be when James was just some guy you saw around the common room…
Quattlebaum placed five cards onto the table below the Eight of Cups, motioning for you to flip them over. You did so, one by one. 
He began to speak, explaining every card. Although you knew them well, you welcomed his assistance, your mind reeling. 
“The Page of Cups, reversed. When reversed, the Page of Cups’ wonder and innocence is used against you, creating misunderstandings, hurt feelings and painful emotions. The Ten of Wands, upright. Someone burdened, struggling to uphold his responsibilities. This is beared alone, often in darkness.”
He followed this pattern for the rest of the cards, Quattlebaum explaining their meaning as you revealed them. 
“The Chariot, reversed. The Chariot turns away from its celestial influence, allowing aggression to fester, giving up self-control and determination. The Three of Wands, reversed. Frustration, a lack of method and commitment. There will be unforeseen obstacles and a lack of foresight,” he paused as you flipped the final card, the air growing thick as you each gazed down at it. “The Tower, upright. The crumbling of a mighty structure, upheaval, a disastrous destruction…there is great change in life, a burning away of what was once known.”
Quattlebaum stopped, looking to you as if you had something clever to say. You did not, your thoughts filled with a blinding dread. A dark cloud seemed to hang over you, filled with the awful array of cards before you: painful emotions, burden, aggression, lack of foresight, destruction. 
“You have seen the path of the Eight of Cups,” he said, picking up the deck again. “Now, choose the path of the High Priestess: the way of the Diviner.” 
I wish you could see the way he looks at you…Give it a shot, you might be surprised…She’s the very best of us…
Slowly and with great purpose, Quattlebaum placed five cards in front of you, waiting as you began to flip them over as you had done before. 
“The Knight of Cups, upright. A dreamer, idealistic, the mediator. There is calm, unlike the other knights, whose passion is explosive. There is drive, but not without purity. This often represents following ones heart. Three of Pentacles, upright. The apprentice who listens to others and offers their help. Collaboration, the coming together of minds.”
Your hand hovered over the next card as you flipped it over, momentarily suspended in an odd mix of shock and elation. When you realized your mistake, you quickly pulled your hand away as if the air itself had burned you. 
“The Lovers, upright,” Quattlebaum began, moving on as if nothing had happened. “A pair, not the same and yet not entirely different, come together in romance…there is a purposeful choice to their union, for it is just that, a choice.”
You did not give a moment of pause before you turned over the next, unwilling to allow yourself to sit with it much longer. 
As you did, Quattlebaum continued, “Ten of Swords, reversed. A survival of tragedy, rebirth through despair, a healing of deep wounds. Finally, the Four of Wands, upright. A welcoming reunion, a celebratory harmony of belonging, a time of stability.”
The air was charged with something, prickling on your skin. You did not speak, taking a long breath. You thought about what you had just seen: following your heart, collaboration, romance, rebirth, harmony. 
“Miss L/N,” Quattlebaum said after a moment of silence, “you do not need my assistance in these readings. You know as well as I what they foretell.”
“Yes, Professor,” you said, your voice shaking. 
Quattlebaum eyed you, almost wistfully. Something darkened in his gaze, foreboding and unexpected. “There is unmistakable turmoil beyond this castle. It is mounting, very soon to come to a head. In its face, we must all do what we think is right. It is unfortunate, but you must make your choice alone.”
You sat with his words for a moment, your palms beginning to sweat. Your breath was still shaky, though you did your best to calm it, breathing slowly through your nose. After a beat you nodded, moving to grab your bag. 
“Thank you for your help, Professor,” you said, standing up to leave. 
Quattlebaum didn’t answer, walking you to the hatch and offering you a somber look as you threw it open. 
“You have a good heart,” he said as you began to descend the ladder. You stopped, looking up at his unusually stoic expression. “It would serve you well to trust it.”
You gave him another curt nod, hopping down the ladder as he closed the hatch above you. Soon you were alone, standing at the top of the tower staircase. You had received more than you came for, though it had yet to fully sink in. Your feet felt heavy as you walked back to the common room, Quattlebaum’s words punctuating your every step. 
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Wednesday evening had been spent mostly in silence on your part. Lily had noticed, asking more than once if you were all right or what she could do to help. Every time you brushed her off, insisting it was just your usual lack of sleep. You went to bed early, feigning a deep slumber while you laid there, staring at the ceiling. Even with all the answers in the world, you still weren’t satisfied. It seemed as though things kept changing every hour, every minute, so fast you were in a constant state of trying to catch up. Now, you thought it may be worse than before. A small sliver of hope had begun to ignite inside of you, fed just enough by weeks of crumbs. When you finally closed your eyes, forcing yourself to rest, you could still see James’s handwriting, hovering within a sea of black. 
On Thursday morning, his note was still in your bag. You had forgotten to take it out, carrying it with you when you went to speak with Quattlebaum, then back to your dormitory. You allowed it to stay there when you moseyed down to the kitchens for a late breakfast, having no place to be. You took a long time to finish your food, even longer to drink your tea, heading back up to your room just as second period was getting out. 
Lily was there when you came back, hunkered down at her desk with a large stone in front of her. Books and parchment were scattered all around, her wand in her hand. 
“Alchemy?” 
“Yes,” she sighed, glancing up at you for a moment, “and I’m swamped.”
You chuckled, grabbing your own homework. “That's what you get for taking so many classes.”
She just shook her head, turning back to her stone. She pointed her wand at it, muttering something you didn’t understand. 
You each worked like that until lunch when you forced her to leave to get something to eat. You weren’t hungry, giving her the opportunity to eat in the Great Hall for a change. You felt awful that she had spent nearly every meal with you in the kitchens since Sunday, save for the couple of times Marlene was able to bully her out of it. 
Alone in your dorm, your eyes caught your scarf lying on your bedside table, concealing your broken wristwatch. It was still flashing between weather patterns, far too distracting to leave out in the open. Lily had promised to help you with it this weekend once she had some free time, for all your attempts to fix it thus far had been unsuccessful. 
With a tightened jaw, your mind swirling with guilt over her continued kindness, you flew from your chair, throwing your scarf onto the floor as you grabbed your watch. You shoved it into your pocket as you left the room, in desperate need of some fresh air. 
Eventually, you found yourself sitting on a stone bench in the courtyard by Gryffindor Tower, your watch laid on your knee. Trying a new, more advanced form of repairo used on complicated machinery, the watch seemed to mock you as it continued to flash between a snowstorm, a sunny day, and a monsoon. You had little practice with the incantation, which may have been why it had no effect whatsoever. You had absolutely no experience with these sorts of charms to begin with, much less with watchmaking. The possibility you’d be able to fix it yourself was slim, though not zero. You gave it another try, adjusting your wand movements in hopes that was your issue. Again, nothing spectacular occurred. 
Suddenly, your head shot up as someone cleared their throat above you, your small jump causing your watch to tumble from your lap onto the grass. James stood with his hands stuffed in his jacket pockets, his mouth pulled into an awkward half smile as he looked down at you from a few feet away. 
“Hey,” you said, still a bit stunned. 
He shifted his weight, glancing down at his feet for a moment. Soon, his eyes found your watch, now flashing between a rainbow and a crescent moon. He knelt down to pick it up, turning it over in his hands as he stared intently at the broken face. 
“What happened?”
“Broke it during the duel,” you answered, half of you wishing he would go, the other begging him to stay. 
“Mind if I sit?” he asked softly, motioning towards the bench. 
You shook your head, lacking the conviction to tell him to leave. You kicked yourself as you scooted over to make room, James sitting down beside you, still gazing on your watch. 
You hadn’t been alone with him since he chased you out of Charms on Tuesday. It felt strange to be with him like this, like things were normal. You had been thinking about what Quattlebaum had said all day, despite trying your hardest not to. It had brought you out of your initial rage, leaving you mostly in mourning of what once was. It felt as though too much had been said to ever regain your former friendship, striking you blind as to how you were meant to talk to him or where you ought to look. You knew where you wanted to look, although that was certainly not an option. 
“The mending charm won’t work?”
“No, not that I’ve tried,” you said, your head bent towards the grass. “Lily’s going to help me this weekend.”
“Huh.” His eyes darted over to yours, duller than you were used to, though still curious. “Where’d you get it?”
“Mallard and Rosman’s. My dad got it for my fifteenth birthday.” 
Mallard and Rosman’s was the premier useless enchanted clothing seller in Diagon Alley. It’s where Sirius had gotten Remus his jumper that changed color based on the leaves. It had been earthy brown since mid-November, soon to turn a pale green. 
“I remember when he sent it through the post. I could hear you from across the table,” James said with a small smile. “I can’t believe I didn’t notice you haven’t had it on, you wear it everyday.” He turned away, pointing his wand at it and trying repairo, though nothing changed. “I’m not sure why I thought that would work.”
You nodded, the warmth of him beside you like a bonfire, blazing on your cheeks. You didn’t realize how much you’ve missed him these past few days until now, even if you still held so much against him. But, then there were the cards: go back or move forward. 
“Why aren’t you at lunch?” you asked, just to fill the silence. 
He shrugged. “Wasn’t hungry.” He rubbed his thumb across the face of your watch, tender as if it was something precious. “I know I owe you an explanation for what happened” he began, his voice low, “but I don’t really have one.” 
You glanced at him, taking in only a fraction of his face. “I don’t either.”
“You were right about my ego, but you weren’t about the rest,” he paused, looking out into the courtyard, his eyes running over the window panes. He continued to fiddle with your watch, his other hand coming to run over the straps. “I didn’t mean to make you think I’d be embarrassed over something like that.”
In all honesty, you weren’t either. You couldn’t pinpoint the exact thing he said that made you come to that conclusion, only that it seemed to make too much sense to be wrong. For four days you had tried to make peace with it, though it hadn’t been nearly enough time, the thought still eating away at you. 
You tried to figure out what to say, preferably something that wasn’t a lie. “Thanks,” was all you were able to come up with, mumbling it so softly you were unsure if he could even make it out. 
“I wish I told you,” he said, leaning forward to look you in the eye. 
His mouth was twisted into something akin to distraught, though you pulled your gaze away from it before you could think too much about it. 
“If I had a time turner, I’d go back and do it,” he began again. “Actually, if I had one I’d curse him right outside of Transfiguration.”
Your gaze ran along the rims of his glasses, down the bridge of his nose, stopping at his cupid's bow. You noticed that his hair was getting long, curling around his ears. You wished you could reach out and brush it away from his face. 
“You sound like Sirius,” you said, a small smile pulling at the corners of your lips. 
“He’s been making a lot of sense lately,” he said, matching your half hearted grin. His smile soon dropped, leaving him pensive and remarkably calm. “It’s selfish of me, but I really want to be your friend right now. I know you don’t need my help, but I hate not giving it. It’s the only thing I’ve ever been good at.”
“James—”
“Whatever happened before, I promise it won’t happen again,” he interrupted. “I’ll tell you every—”
“James,” you said again, sterner this time. He finally stopped talking, his eyes searching your face, wide and hopeful like they had been in the corridor outside the common room. “You’re relentless, you know.”
“And cheesy,” he said, smiling again. “I’ve got a few quotes stored up if you want to hear them.”
You looked away, your head drooping forward with a groan. “You’re going to make a great old man one day.”
“My mum says I’ll act like a child forever,” he chuckled. “Maybe it’ll even out at some point.”
You took in his expression, forgetting some of your heartbreak, even if just for a moment. “Fifty’ll be your year.”
James laughed again, though it wasn’t without a tinge of something else, things unsaid. More so than ever before, you longed to know what he was thinking. 
“Hey,” he said softly, his humor gone, “are we gonna be all right?”
You heard Remus in the common room, his hand on your shoulder, “Give it a shot, you might be surprised.” Marlene, too, was urging you on, “I wish you could see the way he looks at you.” Then, there were the stars and the cards. The path was not without complication, but it was there, waiting for you to walk down it. It was the brave thing to do, you realized. It was brave to make a choice. 
You bit your lip, offering him a small, encouraging smile. “Yeah, we’re all right.”
James threw an arm around your shoulder, pulling you into his chest. He held you tightly, wrapping his other arm to cradle you, still holding onto your wristwatch. Slowly, you wound your arms around his middle, allowing yourself the luxury of resting your head on his shoulder while avoiding the temptation of burying your face in the crook of his neck. He smelt like he always did: Sleekeazy’s hair potion, broom polish, and something entirely his own, earthy like moss, yet fresh like linen. It was better than a hundred fields of French lavender, sweeter than the little cakes at Puddifoot’s, warmer than a cup of butterbeer or your corner of the Library. You couldn’t believe how much you’d already forgotten, how much you were willing to give up. 
Unthinking, you said exactly how you felt, murmuring into his cloak, “I love you, James.”
As soon as you said it your face began to heat, a jolt of nerves running down your arms. He squeezed you one more time before pulling away, a hand remaining on your shoulder. 
“Love you, too,” he said, playfully tugging at you before taking his hand away. “That’s another thing you never have to say.”
“All this time you just assumed I did?” you teased, trying to forget the way your ears felt as if they were on fire. 
“No,” he began, his smile bright again, the way you loved, “just for future knowledge.”
“Ah, I see.” 
He pushed your shoulder with a laugh, glancing back down at your watch. He handed it back to you, standing up from the bench. “They’ll be able to fix it at Mallard and Rosman’s if Lily can’t figure it out. But if anyone can, it’d be her.” 
You nodded, looking up at his face, more serene than you’d seen him in a while. For a split second, nearly short enough to make you question it, you saw something in his eyes. They sparkled like champagne bubbles, a hue of radiant, golden warmth. He was looking at you as if it were some sublime sight, like the mountains at dawn or the colored lights of aurora borealis. But like a shooting star, it was gone just as you caught it, taking your breath away.
“I have Potions,” he began, “but I’ll see you later, all right?”
“All right,” you said, your words caught in your throat. You watched him walk back towards the archway, dazed as if you were in a dream. 
“I mean it!” he called, flashing you a smile as he disappeared into the castle.
Chapter Sixteen
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Taglist: @floverisland @ilovejamespottersomuch @googie-jeon @tvnile
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rhadamanthes · 10 months ago
Text
Shared Custody. Sukuna x reader x Toji
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Part 2 from this work !
Word count : 3k
Warnings : established relationship,threesome, double penetration, hate sex (kinda), oral sex female receiving, creampie, overstimulation, praise, bit of fluff and bit of angst
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The weight on your lap is slowly lifting and you tighten your grasp as a reflex. Opening your eyes you see Toji trying to take little megumi in his arms. You blink the sleep out of your eyes and relax your arms.
"I'm sorry, I wasn't waiting for you this early" you say standing on your feet. He scoffs, securing megumi on his hips
"I was gone for two hours, you two slept the whole time?" 
Ever since you moved in, a lot of things have happened. Your boyfriend befriending the teasing neighbour is one of them. And the more you get to know him the more it makes sense they're a lot alike in more ways than one. They often go to the gym together, and can talk for hours about cars and UFC that you don't really care about, but you're glad they do. Sukuna with his gruff nature doesn't have a lot of friends, even if he'll never admit you know that this is what they are for each other. 
When Toji learned that you worked from home he asked you if it was ok for you to keep his 6 year old son from time to time. You gladly accepted, thinking it'll bring you some company and you're already used to babysitting thanks to Yuuji : Sukuna's little brother who is the same age as Megumi. Needless to say Megumi is a spitting image of his father both physically and personality wise. He slowly warmed up to you and is now fully comfortable in your presence. As a proof Toji dropped him off earlier and just a few minutes in he climbed on your lap asking you to draw with him. Megumi ended up falling asleep and you followed him. 
Snapping out of your reverie you reach on the coffee table for the drawing Megumi did for his dad. you show it to him smiling at the fact that he drew a wolf with a scar on his lips. Toji smiles at the sight too before meeting your eyes
"You did this for me?" he asks with one of his signature smirk. You roll your eyes before pushing him to the door. He turns around thanking you for keeping megumi this afternoon before planting a kiss on your cheek and leaving. You freeze at his gesture, he's never been physical with you like you've never been with him. It makes you uncomfortable and you feel a pit in your stomach.
"Do you want me to kill him ?" you gasp putting your hands over Sukuna's mouth
"Shhhhh! he can probably hear us!" You debated the whole night to Tell Sukuna or not about the kiss incident as it made you feel like you were hiding something from him. Now that you two were in bed you decided it was the right time but he doesn't seem to take it seriously.
"Want me to kill Toji Fushiguro ?" he repeated louder this time. You hit his arm and give him a hard stare.
"I'm being serious, I'm telling you this because it makes me feel weird."  He covers your hand with his own petting you lightly.
"I understand, maybe it's just his way to thank you you've been helping him out a lot this days with the brat" you raise your eyebrows at his answer
"You're taking this very chill, if it was Satoru you'd be fuming"
"Because i think that this idiot is not really gay"
"Oh please he is engaged to Suguru and we're literally invited to the wedding" you scoff
"All i'm saying is until one of them get pregnant i'll not believe it" You chuckle at his words
"So we're good i just wanted to tell you to avoid an awkward situation" you say caressing his hair.
"All good baby, go to sleep," he adds, kissing your lips. As always he holds you close to his chest, hands on your tits before he drifts to sleep. You can't shake the weird feeling you have about his reaction. 
A few days pass. Toji seems to have noticed your attitude change and he's been teasing you even more, sending wink your way anytime he gets a chance. He is infuriating you; he knows you're trying to set boundaries and he's just laughing at your face. You think about this while laying flat on your bed, eyes closed. A long sigh escapes your mouth, tonight is the weekend and you want to do something with Sukuna, he should be coming home anytime now. You hear the front door opening  but you don't move, eyes still closed, a soft smile playing on your lips, the mattress dip next to you, rubbing his back softly as you tell him your plans.
"Baby~ I was thinking tomorrow  we could go to the funfair and then the movies after what do you think?"
"I think you should ask your boyfriend when he gets home" Your eyes snap open and you straighten your back. Toji is seating on your bed looking at you like he owns the place, you can even process what's happening you're just staring at him dumbfounded
"What the fuck are you doing here?!" you snap "What the hell is wrong with you? Get out of here!" you yell pushing his back trying to get him off the bed. He doesn't even budge, you were about to drag him by his hair when Sukuna's voice echoes in the room
"Hey, what's happening here ?" he asks in his nonchalant voice. You instantly walk to him grabbing his shirt in your fist.
"What in god's name is your problem" you say on the verge of a breakdown
"Calm down" he says attempting to unclench your fists. Losing all of your patience you grab his jaw digging your nails in his skin in the process.
"One thing you are not going to do is tell me to calm down when you know damn well it's your fault you think i'm stupid ? you think i don't know what's happening?"
The thing is Sukuna has always been vocal about his needs and fantasies. He's been telling you for a long time now that he would like to have a threeesome not with a  woman  like most men want but with another man, because he likes to see you struggle. The weird gut feeling you had the night you confessed to him slowly came to this conclusion: he doesn't mind because he wants this to happen with Toji. He is a handsome man, that's for sure but the fact that Sukuna is going behind your back makes you want to pull the hair out of your scalp.
A long sigh escapes his lips. You feel his hands on each of your cheeks. He crouches down so your eyes are on the same level as his, but you keep your gaze on the ground not wanting to give him this satisfaction.
"Baby, I didn't tell you anything because I know that you would catch up on it" he says in a sweet voice. You scoff in  disbelief meeting his gaze
"So you and your friend had fun toying with me all week long ? Well I'll leave you to it, go on and explore each other's bodies" you spat rushing past him. Before you can reach the doorknob his arms are wrapped around your waist, your back flush against his chest. You try to wiggle out of his grasp but there's no use. His head is right on top of yours
"Now now it's not a way to behave when we have a guest" he coos, you feel him move back until he sits on the bed, you on his lap. 
"I have a feeling the funfair won't happen tomorrow" you hear Toji say from his side of the bed. You don't even look his way at the remark. He probably just wants to rile you up more, but your whole body is buzzing you want to slap him so badly. Sukuna pet you thigh, proud that you don't let your anger control you.
"Good girl" he murmurs, kissing the back of your head. You tense at his gesture still not at peace with his whole plan
"You look like a puppy on his master lap you know" Toji taunts You dig your nails in Sukuna's arms about to lose your patience
"Toji have some respect for my girlfriend will you ? Or else we can have fun without you." Your body relaxes a bit at his words; he's not willing to let any transgression for the sake of his fantasy.
"I would like to apologize but pup is not even looking me in the eyes". you huff through your nose in anger.
Sukuna moves your body sideways so you're facing Toji . You're only taking a good look at him now he's wearing a black compression shirt with a loose sweatpant and his signature flip flop.  You roll your eyes at his ease, a smirk crosses his lips at your reaction. He's holding his hand in front of yours.
"That's your apology?" you ask incredulously.He withdraws his hands rolling his eyes.
Sukuna has the feeling of watching two children argue and he is getting impatient
"Toji why don't you show her how sorry you are instead of using your words" he raises his voice. He then gets you off his lap.
You turn to him searching for an answer in his eyes but he's ignoring you, taking off his jacket with a smile on his lips. Toji is kneeling in front of you, parting your thighs. Even though he's infuriating, you have to admit that seeing him on his knees for you makes you feel hot inside. He bites at your skin until he reaches your underwear, closing his eyes he takes a long sniff. What a damn pervert you think.He starts licking at your covered clit, emerald eyes never leaving yours. You're starting to get flustered, heat rushing to your cheek. Sukuna places himself behind you and you lean on his torso in an attempt to cool off a bit. His hands snake under your shirt to grab your tits, his indexes are teasing your naked nipples.The contrast of Toji hot tongue on your fold and the coldness of Sukuna fingertips makes you quiver. Your underwear has been long discarded, Toji is eating your pussy like a starved man, alternating between swirling his tongue around your clit and slobbering on it, leaving your arousal all over his lower face not even caring to look you in the eyes anymore, his grunts and the obscene sound of your wetness meeting his skin fills the room. At this pace you're going to unravel at any given moment. you grab a lock of his hair to get his attention
"Toji i'm going to cum" you manage to croak, and you hate how weak your voice sounds like you were not  fighting him just five minutes ago. He groans in response, picking up his pace.
Sukuna grabs you jaw turning your face to his, you reach for a kiss desperate to feel more of him. His hand slides down to your throat keeping you in place while the other is still toying with your sensitive tits. Soon enough you lose yourself in pleasure cumming all over Toji's face. Sukuna absorbs your moans pressing his lips deeper on your own. Out of breath you break the kiss. Toji stands up and you notice the obvious tent in his pants. He makes a quickwork of his sweatpant standing in his underwear in front of you. Looking down on you, his face still glistening with your arousal, you want to satisfy him back. Before you can reach for his underwear he plops on the bed, hands behind his head looking at you with a big smile. He takes joy in your frustration
"Don't be so eager i want the real deal you can suck me off later " he coos spreading his legs wide.
"Do you ever just shut up" you groan annoyed with his antics once again.
"Why don't you make me?" he says, fluffing the pillow behind his head, making himself comfortable once again.
Filled with confidence you straddle him ducking his face into the pillow, he chuckles at your roughness but you quickly stuff his mouth with your index and middle finger. He groans, closing his teeth around your flesh sucking your fingertips in his wet mouth.
"Careful now don't break him" you hear Sukuna behind your back. He places a kiss on your naked shoulder before he slides both Toji's and his underwear down. 
They're fully hard, your mouth salivating at the thought of them filing you at the same time. You retrieve your finger from Toji's mouth, kissing him hungrily. The kiss has nothing to do with the one you share with your boyfriend. This is a battle for dominance. He bites at your lips, licks your teeth and pulls you impossibly closer as he digs his hands on your sides. From behind Sukuna can't help but laugh at the sight, you were never an angry person and seeing you taking it out on Toji like that amuses him. He takes his length along with Toji's stroking them a few times before he prodds them at your entrance. You gasp at the unfamiliar size, clenching Toji's shoulders. Looking back at Sukuna you whimper a little.
"Relax baby" he says tapping your ass.You lay your head flat on Toji's chest trying to unwind. The stretch is nothing you ever felt before, you bite on his pec as they slide more and more of themselves inside, until they're fully stretching you out
"Oh my god, fuck" you blurt at your fullness. You slowly straighten your back scare to make any sudden move.
"Go on doll, go at your own pace" Toji says he's out of breath like he just ran a marathon. Fuck you want to see him crumble.
Using his body as an anchor you start to move your hips slowly the three of you groan in unison at the new feeling. the more you move the more you start to feel pleasure flooding your body it's like electricity in your fingertips. Sukuna locks his beefy arms around your middle part, thrusting slowly inside you. His breath is erratic and you wonder what it feels like for him to be both inside of you and flushed against Toji's member. 
" Shit you're wetting my balls," Toji says, his voice faltering. Both of them sound so spent at the moment, it makes you gain a confidence you never knew you could have. Your moans fill the room as they're both hitting your g-spot.
"It feels so good " you gasp biting Sukuna's cheek. Toji grips your hips to thrust up inside of you and it drives you mad. You don't have time to feel empty as their cock bullies your soft spot one after the other.
Sukuna pins you against Toji's chest, bending one of your arms against your back. With your free limb you claw at his skin
"You're so big" you cry against his chest, tears filling your eyes as the pleasure escalates quickly. You feel his large hand grab your jaw before he melts on your lips.
The kiss is not as hungry as before, it's messy and leaves drool on your chin. "Fuck me" He groan against your lips and you know he's close. You grind your hips as best as you can, maintaining eye contact. Soon his pretty jade orbs roll on the back of his head filling your womb with his seeds. You chuckle a bit leaning your back against Sukuna's body now that you're satisfied with his release. Sukuna sticks his head against yours looking at your victim
"Look at what you did baby, you're proud ? " he asks in his deep voice. You nod your head, a mischievous smile playing on your lips as you intended to make him endure the same fate. Toji's face contorts in both pleasure and pain as his sensitive tip is still inside of you. Reducing him to a moaning mess after he's been teasing you so long makes you proud. Continuing his ministrations Sukuna brings you closer to the edge until you feel your whole body spasm with bliss while he fills you up. You collapse on Toji's chest not feeling strong enough to stand another second. Sukuna is hovering you, you can tell by the heat you feel in your back. He pulls out slowly of your cunt  grunting at the sight of his and Toji's spunk leaking out of your hole. You feel so sinful thinking about it.   
Lifting your body from Toji's he places you on the bed right next to him. He then leans on you as he peppers kisses all over your face and neck.
"I'm sorry if I let you get worked up all week hmm?" he coos placing another kiss on your face. Still hazy from your high you just nod , caressing his hair.
"But you did so good for us today, pretty girl, I'm so proud" he says, hiding his face in your neck and chewing on it. You giggle at the tickling sensation spreading in your skin.
From his side of the bed Toji feels a pit form in his stomach being the spectator of such an intimate scene reminds him that he has no one to go home to. Sure there is megumi, and the little guy had helped to keep him on track without even knowing it but Sharing your life with someone else is different. Getting up from the bed he hurriedly put his clothes back on, desiring to go back to his apartment as fast as he could. Your soft voice stops him in his tracks. turning around he sees your hand extended to him,your tired eyes urging him closer. He closes the gap between the two of you, taking your hand in his.
"Tomorrow let's meet for ice cream.  You will buy me plan B after hmm ?" you say squeezing his hands. He chuckles at your request but agrees nevertheless. He places a soft kiss on the back of your hand before taking his leave, a warm feeling spreading in his chest. 
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us3rnam3-r3dact3d · 2 months ago
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More art of my Angel OC and @romirola ‘s Sweetheart OC! Monarchal Summit edition!!
When I was going about designing the Summit outfits, I knew that I wanted to go high fashion with it. The way that Vincent described Summit fashion was so interesting to me and I wanted to lean in to it!
First, I think the Shaw Pack’s outfits were all made by the same designer, so they share a few details that tie them together as a group. I might get around to drawing the rest of the pack’s fits (MIGHT being the operative word), but the details that tie them together are ribbons, pearls, and soft, pastel colors. The Summit is a serious affair, and Vincent’s emo look has influenced color pallets for many many years. The Shaw’s rock into a room full of black and blood red and draw everybody’s eye. It’s a show of strength, as well. They don’t need to put on false pretense to show they’re deadly. They just are.
Angel’s outfit is a very fitted suit with padding in the shoulder to make them look broader than they are. A line of pearls acts as cuff links. Their makeup is meant to mimic blood. The back of their suit has a stiff heart cut out that shows off the main event: the corset piercing they got done specifically for the Summit. As a note, corset piercings are very short term, surface piercings that are only mean to last for a few hours. We can debate the safety of corset piercings all we like, but the nice thing about fiction is that um it’s fictional. No real danger. Angel got that done knowing that none of the vampires attending would be able to. They would heal too fast. It’s also a show of strength. The piercings are pulled on and irritated through the night. They likely bleed at some point. Angel would draw the attention of every vampire in the room, but none of them would be able to touch them. Unempowered though they be, Angel is untouchable.
Sweetheart’s outfit is meant to evoke delicacy and fragile beauty, undercutting their tenacity and strength. Sort of a wolf in lamb’s clothing situation. The pearls that dot their shoulders and hair are meant to mimic snowflakes. The jumpsuit they’re wearing has a pearlescent shimmer to it that only reveals itself in the right light. In the dramatic light of the Summit’s candles and chandeliers, the suit shifts color like a prism. The jumpsuit is intentionally a touch too long for them, hiding the heals that make them that much taller. The back of their suit is a corset as well, and it forms the suit to their torso perfectly. The delicate sheer green top that holds their pearls in place has a heart cut out similar to Angel’s, which was actually Milo’s suggestion. There are two pearls on either cheek, meant to mimic tears. If the vampires that investigated the murder scene even a bit more carefully, they would have found a pearl that come dislodged from Sweetheart’s hair. It’s still shuffled under a bar cart in Skyside.
I hope I can design more Shaw Summit outfits soon!! I had so much fun with these.
Also there’s a sketch of David taking out the ribbons for Angel under the cut and it is Bloody, as a warning
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lost-in-lamentation · 1 year ago
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❄️💉 - snow, sick fic.
mammon × gen!reader. fluff.
warnings: mammon gets sick (nothing serious), reader implied smaller than mammon.
content: after being stuck outside, mammon falls sick very quickly.
back to the 500 follower event: here.
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“mammon?! what the hell?!” you dashed over to him, doing your best to avoid slipping on the snow covered pavement. although you were glad mammon paid you occasional visits in the human world, you wished he had texted you earlier. as soon as you were close enough, you threw your arms around the demon, pulling him close. “oh my god, you’re freezing!” you immediately pulled away, taking a good look at him. his face was tinted red, maybe from staying out in the cold for too long. “you need to get inside.”
“i-i’m fine.” mammon chattered between his words, and you finally noticed the way his legs trembled.
“yeah, okay, sure,” you replied. you shoved your hand into your pockets, fishing around for your front door key. with the door finally open, you dragged mammon inside, peeling his unfortunately damp jacket away from him. “seriously, how long were you out there for?” 
mammon shook his head like a wet puppy, unseen snowflakes falling from his hair. “a few hours?” he shuddered again, blowing air into his hands to bring feeling back to his fingertips. 
“you’re ridiculous,” you muttered while draping his jacket over the back of a chair. “go take a shower so you can get out of those clothes.”
mammon had circled his arms around himself at this point. the way he trembled made you ache inside; he had stayed outside far longer than he should have. “i didn’t bring an extra set of clothes...”
“i always keep some here for you.” 
“wait, ya do?!” the red on his cheeks deepened, and at this rate, you were scared he would end up overheating.
“yes, now go shower. i’ll drop the clothes off while you’re in there.” you practically watched the gears in his head turn. but perhaps too cold to debate any further, mammon simply nodded before rushing away. you giggled to yourself at the sight, waiting until you could hear the shower going to head into your room. 
the clothes you kept for mammon were stored away in your own closet. a little collapsible cube held clothes you had stolen from him before moving back, and also clothes you had bought for him up in the human world. a fleeting thought of if mammon would recognise the hoodie you kept passed through your mind. with a grin, you pulled it out of the cube, along with a pair of grey sweats that you had also poached from him. you threw your own oversized shirt into the pile as well, hoping that mammon would be warm enough with only two layers. deciding it was probably enough, you headed over to the washroom, knocking a few times to announce your arrival. “mammon, i’m gonna leave the clothes on the counter, okay?” after you heard mammon shout out a reply, you cracked the door open, placing the clothes down before shuffling away quietly. 
it didn’t take mammon much longer to finish. a few minutes later, you could hear him padding down the hallway to meet you in the kitchen. “MC?” you hummed in acknowledgement. “why’d you give me pyjamas?” 
bewildered at the question, you paused your cooking to look at mammon. “you’re staying the night, aren’t you?” 
mammon paused to sneeze, rubbing his nose with the back of his hand before looking back at you. “lucifer said i should come back-” another sneeze had his body taking a physical screenshot as it froze in place. “ugh- he said i should be back tonight.” 
frowning, you scanned the white haired demon carefully. your instincts told you it was a bad idea to send him back home. “not happening.” you ignored mammon’s squawk of confusion, turning to the pot you had on the stove. “can you get my phone? it’s on my nightstand.” you turned the element on, pouring ingredients in as you did. some soup would be good for warming mammon up. 
“here,” mammon called, coming up behind you before dangling your phone in front of your face. 
chuckling, you grabbed at the phone, making sure to not let the soup spill out from the edge of the pot. you tapped your screen awake, pulling up your contacts and dialling lucifer. you didn’t give him any chance to speak; as soon as the call timer started, you were already talking. “mammon’s staying overnight, you don’t get a say in it, and i promise i’ll visit sometime. bye!” 
“MC-!” lucifer shouted at you from the other side of the line, but you were hanging up before he could say anything else.
mammon laughed at the sight, throwing his arms over your shoulders as he rested his chin on your head. “only you could do that to lucifer,” he said, voice fading away at the end of his sentence.
you felt him rub his nose into your hair briefly. “you okay? you’re sounding kinda off.” 
mammon tightened his grip on you as a response. “... ‘m just tired.” he slumped into you ever so slightly, causing concern to rise up in your stomach. 
“go sit on the couch. soup’s almost ready.” mammon’s arm slid away from you unwillingly, and you quickly noticed how he'd begun to drag his feet rather than take full steps. demons get sick so easily in the cold, you thought to yourself. as promised, the soup was finished after a few moments, so you turned the heat down and spooned some into a bowl. shooting a glance at mammon, you saw that he had dozed off while curled up on the couch. your heart fluttered briefly at the sight, but it was another reminder that the demon was not at 100%. quietly, you walked over to him, stealing a blanket from another chair before gently shaking him awake. “mammon, wake up.” a tug at your heartstrings had your chest stinging. he hadn’t been here for long at all, yet he was already starting to look like he had been sick for days. “have some soup first, then go to bed early.” 
mammon watched as you sat next to him, eyes bleary with newfound exhaustion. he didn’t bother replying, but held his hands out to receive the bowl from you. silently, you handed it to him, making sure his grip was tight before throwing the blanket around his shoulders. you adjusted the corners of the blanket carefully, practically engulfing him inside the fabric. satisfied, you smiled at mammon, gesturing to the bowl in his hands. “just a little,” you encouraged, pushing it closer to him. 
mammon sighed heavily, blinking a few times before finally shifting the bowl to one hand and grabbing the spoon in the other. he ate slowly, but under your careful gaze, eventually managed to down all of it. “thanks, human,” he murmured, eyes falling closed. swiftly, you took the bowl from his hands, setting it on the coffee table. lightly, you brushed your knuckles across his cheeks; the way he leaned into your touch was endearing.
“anything for you,” you hummed in reply, grinning when his cheeks turned a darker shade of pink. “now let’s get you to bed.”
with the soup fueling him, mammon had enough strength to walk by himself. but you kept your hand floating behind him just in case. his head was foggy enough that he didn’t register you bringing him to your room until you had sat him down on your mattress. “oi, wait,” he muttered, blinking slowly as he stared at his surroundings. “this is your room, isn’t it?” 
“mammon, i only have one bed here, and it happens to be mine. so, yes, this is my room.” 
all of a sudden, sentience had returned to the second-born. his eyes flashed with guilt when he realised what you were implying. “where will you sleep?” 
“i’ll stay in the living room. i have some work to do on my laptop anyway.” 
“but-”
“no buts, mammon. you need to sleep somewhere comfortable.” you brushed his hair away from his forehead, taking a quick note of how hot he was running. “if you need anything, i’m right there.” 
mammon opened his mouth again, looking like he was ready to protest. but you pushed him down, taking your duvet and covering him with it. “sleep well,” you said softly. as you left the room, you positioned the door to leave a crack. and once you had determined that mammon had drifted to sleep, you tiptoed away to the living room.
a large portion of your work ended up finished a few hours later, just around the time you heard mammon start to wake up due to coughing fits. you waited in silence for a few minutes, hoping that he would stop in a bit. but then you heard the bed groan under him, most likely from him shifting around, so you headed over to him with a glass of water in hand. mammon was already sitting up when you arrived, chest heaving as he struggled to catch his breath again. “mammon?” you called to him softly, pushing the door open at the same time. 
“MC? sorry- did i wake you up?” he strangled the words out between harsh coughs, guilt creeping into his expression. 
“i wasn’t asleep yet,” you reassured him. “water?” his hand trembled as he reached out for the glass. you decided quickly to bring it to his lips instead, carefully helping him take a drink as your other hand cupped the back of his head. as he finished, you placed the glass on your nightstand, shifting to sit next to him on the mattress.
outside, snow continued to drift down. lights from the street casted shadow snowflakes onto your curtains, allowing you to watch the snowfall comfortably. mammon kept his eyes on the curtains, his exhaustion constantly reigniting despite the way his body jolted him awake with a cough. “the snow looks nice. doesn’t feel as nice, though.”
humming in agreement, you guided him to sit further forward on the bed, quickly sliding in between him and the headboard of the bed. mammon, too delirious to say anything, turned to face you. his cheeks were still flushed, but marginally less so than earlier. you smiled at him as his eyes began to droop, waiting until his head landed on your shoulder and his torso on yours before curling your arms around his waist. your hands moved up, rubbing circles into the space between his shoulder blades soothingly as his breathing started to taper off. every so often, he would startle awake as his breath hitched in his throat, but you were quick to usher him back to sleep. eventually, you felt his entire body weight on yours, and you knew that he had fallen asleep for the night. your hand continued to move in circles absentmindedly. the feeling of mammon leaning on and depending on you made your heart full. always the one to protect you in your early days of RAD, you were glad that mammon trusted you, loved you, the same way you did. with a content sigh, you pressed your lips to the crown of his head, your smile growing tenfold when mammon unconsciously pressed further into your embrace. you carded your fingers through his hair, movements gentle and hushed; the same way the snow fell outside your window. 
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a/n: hello to the one who requested this and said my writing is like "coming home after a long winter's day" you should know that i cried. singlehandedly the best compliment i've ever gotten on my writing thank you so much oh my god you made my week
reblogs are really appreciated (´ω`) ♡
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