#THIS IS A JOKE TO BE CLEAR

[transmascutena]

pretty common for rgu to be falsely advertised as a cute romance but i think we should start selling it to people by telling them that it has found family (technically true but at what cost)

[wizardsparamour]

gorgug thistlespring was a coward. imagine breaking up with your gf because you can’t do long distance all the while your band mate and friend gets an I Love You text from her gf over billions of years through fossilized shellfish, smh

[aleatoryw]

pretty rude of harry styles to name a song "as it was" when there's already a hozier song titled "as it was".... what else are the british gonna take from the irish, huh??

[icebluecyanide]

Happy Father's day to General Alexei Sarov, who saw fourteen-year-old Alex nearly get killed by his assistant and went 'so is anyone going to adopt him?' and didn't wait for an answer.

A man who stepped up when Alex's fake parents were unfortunately killed in an underwater trap trying to sneak into Sarov's house, and Alex was left stranded on the island all alone.

Who was willing to forgive Alex for trying to escape and who offered to have Alex's eggs prepared the way he likes, because he understands that Alex is still young and sometimes a father and son have different tastes in food (even if he thinks cooking food is a waste of nutrients) 🥺🥺

Who was attentive to Alex's needs, suggesting Alex go for a swim after his ride around the plantation because he looked sweaty and overheated and who was looking out for Alex's health by not letting him drink vodka at fourteen despite peer pressure. Who refused to let his assistant kill Alex even after Alex caused trouble at the airport and tried to call the police on them, and who stimulated Alex to read more books, praising Alex numerous times for his skills.

They had their disagreements of course (Sarov wanting to detonate multiple nuclear bombs and take over the world, Alex saying he'd rather die than have a father like Sarov), but I think that if Alex had stopped trying to escape, Sarov could have made a great father to Alex 🥰🥰

[operationslipperypuppet]

Based on the fastest association I could make given the three emojis in the newsletter: the new d20 season will be about Percy Jackson

[obsessedwithlute]

I took a uquiz that was like 'tell us your music preferences and we'll guess your sexuality' and I got straight?? Um EXCUSE ME anyone who's spoken to me for 5 minutes can tell I'm panromantic. Asshole.

Anyways here's the link if you want to be tortured too

[multi-lefaiye]

yeah sex is cool and all but have you ever been told that people think about you when you're not there and that you have a positive effect on the people in your life?

[heda-heather]

Taylor,

you could do the funniest thing.

Which will it be, Taylor?

The red 🏳️‍🌈 pill or the blue 🧔‍♂️ pill?

[bi-hop]

when they got nonbinary foot soldiers at the function

[hella5791]

PHOTOGRAPHIC EVIDENCE of @hella1975's bigotry CONFIRMED. we need to cancel her IMMEDIATELY and IRREVOCABLY

[saywhatyouwillbut]

in other news, cannot believe i will not get to see those two gay goalies do their ritual again. the real tragedy being reported tonight

[anniesfarce]

*writing the play that goes wrong*

henry lewis: we should have a character named jonathan who just keeps messing up all his entrances

henry shields: yeah, and he's barely in it but he still can't seem to remember the handful of cues he has

jonathan sayer:

jonathan sayer: is there something you guys want to tell me

[not-terezi-pyrope]

*listening to a Caravan Palace track where they sample some jazz band from the 1920s for the hook* What is this slop? They're just remixing the labour and hard work of Real Musicians!

[boomerang109]

cancel @hella1975 version 1737482

[icebluecyanide]

The show really giving us some strong sub!Yassen vibes with the "You don't have to think, you just have to act" quote, him letting Alex take command, and just Yassen general attitude in the show huh

[vanhelsingapologist]

I have always and will continue to support vampire hunter's personal crimes and skewed ethics. Their war crimes are THEIR business. I will NOT stop at apologism, I am a defender and active promoter of vampire hunter's dubious morality. I am not better than this nor am I above things.