#THIS GAME SO FAR HAS JUST BEEN. THE ABSOLUTE DEEPEST BRAIN SCRATCH EVER

[starheirxero]

My friend got me slay the princess for my birthday btw and oh my god. holy shit. sweet stars above i think i've just had my brain rewired and i only played 2 routes. hooooly shit. what the fuck man

[purplerose244]

Irrational - Chapter 6: Okay

BACK WITH ANOTHER ONE!! 💙💙💙

Here’s the sixth chapter for the @spacecampweek, for the prompt “You’re okay”, the one that makes all Space Campers’ heart beat faster! 🥰🥰 I had fun on this one, lots of overthinking Seamus while Krel tries to be sincere 😙

Enjoy! 💕💕

Summary:  "I need to talk to you" With a message like this how could someone blame Seamus for being worried out of his mind? Considering how little he was proud of his past and how much it felt like he was never going to make up for it, it felt like the natural conclusion of the upcoming discussion was going to be a breakup. ... he and Krel were not a couple though?

Read it on the AO3

Tarron: Hello Johnson

Tarron: Are you free now, by any chance?

Tarron: I require your presence

Tarron: …

Tarron: I need to talk to you

So, Seamus was panicking. Those few little messages in rigorous grammar had been sent more than an hour ago, and he had been unable to think about anything else ever since. Today’s impossible amount of homework? Forgotten. Logan chatting to him about the latest Fist to Face game? Never heard of it. The fact that his dad had forgotten his lunch in the fridge and tonight he was going to be absolutely unsufferable to the entire world him included? Didn’t even phase him.

All he had allowed himself to do was lay down onto his bed, stare at his ceiling covered in those familiar fluorescent stars and contemplate the universe. Or his life. Or how he was going to deal with it from now on if Krel was going to break up with him.

“… wait a second. Hey, wait a second!” Suddenly he got up, sitting onto his mattress with crossed legs. “He can’t break up with me! We’re not even together!” He stood up, bouncing lightly, the biggest smile over his face. “Krel won’t break up with me because we’re not a couple! That’s it! What a relief! Eheh… yeah, that’s not really good news, but still.” He sighed, scratching the back of his head. “At least whatever this is it’s not for that… is it?” He widened his eyes. “Can he break up with me as a friend? Is that a thing?!” He slowly let himself fall down onto his seat again, gaping helplessly. “Oh gosh, what is going on anymore, how do you do relationships again??” He was so happy Steve wasn’t there witnessing his breaking down and teasing the heck out of him.

His eyes fell onto his phone, left untouched over the nightstand. There was only way to find this out, no matter how terrifying it was. Seamus took a deep breath and picked it up.

Me: Sounds serious

Me: Alright man, be there in ten

Tarron: Thank you

This guy was even taking the time to thank him. Him, the arrogant Krel Tarron, the one who had always taken every chance at showing teachers how to do their jobs, so he didn’t have to thank them for accidentally teaching him. Something was definitely off, and Seamus wasn’t completely sure he was looking forward to finding out.

That being said, he had been called to Krel’s house. By Krel. He would have not been able to stop himself from going… and his feet had already left his house for the Tarron’s residence.

Yeah, he was weak. And terrified, but he could deal with one feeling at the time.

During the entire trip his unfortunately very well-trained mind was systematically replaying his life ever since he had first met Krel, wondering what exactly the matter at hand was and if it involved something he had done – his pessimism said yes, his optimism said pessimism had a point. It turned out there was almost too much material supporting that theory into his head, between all those racist remarks from the very beginning, the numerous deadly glares because of his A+s, calling him a cheater, cheering Steve from that time he was about to punch him saying to “knock him back to wherever he came from” – if only time travel was real and he could go slap himself. Sure, after the Math Duel they had started to get along. Sure, he had made lots of effort to improve himself in order to show Krel that he was thankful for what he did. Sure, he had joined their group of friends several times at this point even engaging in a few conversations with Pepperjack – what in the world this Earth Invaders was the coolest thing ever. It was all shaded under the massive jerk he had been as a first impression though, something he was never going to be able to shake away.

When the retro style house appeared around the corner, Seamus was struck by the feeling that something was meant to happen in there, and he was in no way mentally prepared. All he was hoping for was that he could still be friends with the Cantaloupian, in order to at least pretend to dream that one day he might grow a pair and ask him out. Yet his brain was being mean. It only replayed Krel’s scowl into his mind when the Math Duel had been proposed, again and again.

Before he knew it or wanted it, he was in front of the door, sweating bullets. He didn’t want to, maybe he was still in time to back down and run at the speed of light, pretending that he had fallen asleep or that his dad had demolished his house because of an A-… which wasn’t unlikely.

Too late, force of habit had him press the doorbell. It ringed inside of his brain as well, making him realize that this was it. There was no coming back.

It had been nice having a genius as a friend.

“… hello Johnson.” A single brown eye peaked from the barely opened door, like he was checking for intruders. Krel looked so distressed, his hair was a little messy as well. “Thank you for coming with such a short notice, I know it must’ve been quite bothersome for you, especially when your father is involved.” It was wrong, so wrong, Krel wasn’t supposed to feel this unsure and diffident. He was supposed to feel confident, in control, happy. “Really… thank you.” A second thank you. No, this wasn’t only worrying anymore, this was straight up a problem. Something the blonde was apparently a part of, which didn’t help his current anxiety.

“Uhm, no worries.” Seamus was let in. It was dead quite inside, grandpa Tarron was definitely somewhere else, or he would have heard him from outside – same with Aja… and Mrs. Tarron… and Mr. Tarron, alright this family was all genetically loud. “Are we alone?” Wow, an occasion like this and he was going to be dumped, his usual luck.

No, not dumped, not… probably… hopefully.

“Varvatos is out for his usual chess game with the other geezers, Aja is currently participating to the event called ‘girls time’. As for the Bla- parents, mine, they are not… here.” He was scratching his palm, a tic Seamus had never seen on him before. “Would you like some liquids for hydration?”

That made him laugh a little. This guy was so weird it was adorable.

“Trying to be a good landlord by offering drinks, Tarron?” Krel looked at him and smiled a little, shrugging. Seamus laughed again. “I’m good, thanks.”

“Good… good.” The brunette took the deepest breath, walking towards the couch, gesturing for him to follow. The air was getting tense, something Seamus would have never wanted around the guy he liked. It seemed important he followed through though. “Johnson?” He was right next to him, but the blonde still hummed affirmatively. “There is something I need to tell you. Perhaps I should’ve addressed this right away, when we had started to get to know each other better, but it… it is not an easy thing to do for me.” Again, he was scratching the palm. “I hope you understand.”

Oh.

Oh gosh.

Oh gosh Seamus was right. Krel totally wanted to dump him… as a friend.

He knew it, he should had known right from the beginning that nothing was going to make his situation better. He had screwed up big time right away, there was no way someone as smart and cool and beautiful – alright Johnson chill – as Krel could ever want to stay close to him. He had clearly reached his limit with him, all the patience he could had given to him, now he was finally going to ask to never see him again.

Seamus clenched his fists over his knees. Dang it, he wished he was angrier about this, he wished that his usual mood would have gone out by now just to vent his frustration, the fact that he wasn’t good enough just like dad had always said.

He couldn’t. He cared about him more than that, he didn’t want to upset him even more.

“Alright, I’m all ears.” He really didn’t want to be, but for him he was going to endure.

Krel looked down, almost as he was struggling to gather his words. For someone this brilliant and with no filter whatsoever, it was really weird to see.

“Where do I start… this is something that does not have anything to do with you, I hope you know this. It is not that I do not trust you, I know you are a good person now.” Wow, really? The good old ‘it’s not you it’s me’? He might had as well kicked him in the ankles and screamed that he was never going to date jerky blondes with problematic fathers – huh, that actually ruled Steve out too –, pity was the last thing he wanted. “The matter is far more complicated than you could think… it’s… ah kleb, when Aja did this it has not looked nearly as difficult!”

Mind explosion. Seamus gaped, almost choking with air.

“Aja? Aja did something like this?” His brain was starting to melt. The Cantaloupian nodded without looking at me, as it was something normal. “With Steve?!”

“Yes, and she did not hesitate for a sekton. I wish I had her resolve right now.” Why and how and when and where and how did Aja actually break up with Steve?! There was no way, not only the Palchuk would have called him a million times to have him console his sorry butt, but such a juicy gossip not way would have not reached Mary’s ears by now – and if she knew, the entire town knew. “Perhaps this is because she never had problems finding people to hang out to, she was always very well liked, even back home.” His inside scream stopped. Krel was gloomy again. Seamus slapped himself for thinking that even now, with those big sad eyes and a rare vulnerability in him, he was really pretty. “While I do not want to risk losing the few people I have, they came almost by accident. Alas, it would not be fair to keep this from you… especially from you.” Oh. The marvel, the way his cheeks were slightly red, his eyes adorably timid.

It really was easy for someone like Seamus to be pleased. Maybe he could take it. He could take this moment, this outstanding view of a completely different Krel into his heart, to conserve after everything was to end. There was no way he wanted for him to suffer because of his mistakes, not again, and if that meant not being friends anymore, that was fine.

It wasn’t, but it could be. Maybe… hopefully.

Seamus was going to slap himself for this as well, later, but right now he couldn’t help it. He grabbed one of his hands, holding it between his with a smile.

“Ever heard about ‘few but good’?” Krel was looking at their united hands, looking baffled, shaking mindlessly his head. “Here in Arcadia you have friends, people that care about you. It doesn’t matter what came before, it’s about here and now.” He swallowed, caressing the back of his hand. “And… and even if something put a distance in between, they would still care. Trust me, you’re that likable.” He really hoped he wasn’t saying too much.

It looked enough. Everything would have been enough given that beautiful, relieved smile.

“Thank you.” Krel looked at him, straight into his eyes with those wonderful brown irises of his, lips trembling slightly. Seamus took a mental breath. This was it, it was happening. In a moment everything was going to end. He didn’t want to, he didn’t but- “The truth is… I am an alien.”

It felt like a pop. All fears and grief and acceptance he had gathered until now, growing larger and wider like a weird motivational balloon, they all exploded altogether by the aid of a single quill.

It took him a moment. A minute, a few seconds, it was hard to tell.

“… huh?” He was still holding his hand, and Krel was staring with fearful eyes. “An illegal alien?”

“No… or rather not completely, I am still a little confused by your concept of ‘legal’, the last time the term had been presented to me by Jim Lake and his friends it was not properly explained.” Somehow in his mess of a head knowing Lake and his group was involved was the only thing that made sense – weirdness happening, skinny legs definitely was in it somehow. “Anyway, I am an actual alien… although the term is quite offensive, for me and for the entire extraterrestrial population, the actual denomination would be Akiridion… but we can, uhm, we can talk about that later.” Krel sighed, his shoulders sinking. “I am truly sorry, I know I’ve kept this for a long time. Not many are aware of this, and I could not tell you until I knew I could trust you but even then-”

During his complete mind blackout, the only certainty was that this guy was speaking words to him. It was only in a brilliant moment for his highly complimented brain that Seamus Johnson managed to find his way back to this world, to realize exactly what was happening. The guy he liked was blabbering about something involving space, the situation was a ton less tense than it was before, and there was nothing threatening his relationship with the Cantaloupian.

In other words…

“Wait, so you’re not dumping me?!?” Krel widened his eyes – was that a blush again? Seamus bit his tongue. “I mean, I thought… you still wanna be friends?”

“Of course, why wouldn’t I?”

What a rational and normal question. Seamus was starting to feel really stupid now about himself.

“I don’t know! It sounded serious and I thought about all possible scenarios, the fact that I literally called you cheater only because you’re good at math and my dad was absolutely horrible to you and… I don’t know, all the rest.” The blonde pressed his lips together. “It made sense.”

“No it did not!” His hold tightened, Seamus didn’t think his heart could beat any faster. “Whatever you brain has been up to, cease this instant! You are supposed to be smart enough to measure up with me!” His face was close. They both realized it at the same time, suddenly letting go and looking in opposite directions. “I-I mean… you are one of my best friends, Johnson. Sure, you made some mistakes in the past, but you are doing your best to be a better person.” Ah, that tone was too much, Seamus had to look again. Good idea, he was smiling again. “And if it makes you feel less self-conscious, I have way more good memories of you than bad ones.”

I did help. Although this guy could had said something like “You are a mediocre math student but I have saved you so you now must show loyalty towards me” and that would have done it. Again, he was weak, and even if that would have been one massive hit to his pride, he would have bled his inferiority complex all over to have at least another moment with him.

… holy mole, maybe he liked Krel a little more than he had thought.

Seamus breathed in. Then he released a massive sigh of relief, because he liked Krel a lot, and he didn’t want to part ways. He had never wanted to, even while trying to be the mature one and accept his fate. At last, he was still here.

“My gosh Tarron, you sounded so serious in your message! I was so worried!”

“You cannot hear written messages Johnson, I fail to understand how you could’ve caught that intention into my texting.” Despite the mockery, there was a lighter tone into his voice. “I was equally concerned myself, I truly didn’t want to lose you, no matter the situation. I cannot comprehend how Aja managed with Steve so easily.” Ah, Staja was still going strong then, good for them. “I guess back then the abduction helped breaking down the news, it is hardly something you can avoid in such a situation.” Yeah, that made sense, with an abduction involved… “And with Steve almost falling to his death, Aja’s reveal was mostly a matter of chances.” Falling to his… death? “Thinking about, it was less about sister’s resolution and more a necessity… what? What is it?” Krel was giving him a confused look, only fair to an equally confused stare.

Freed from the stress of the worry, Seamus’ brain had managed to reboot, finally coming back to its senses as his crush was explaining the situation to him. About an alien abduction, about a fall from a spaceship apparently, how Aja was also a… a…

“… you’re an alien.”

Krel blinked at him.

“I thought I established that already.”

“Sorry, it’s just… it’s kinda coming to me only now, give me a moment.” He pressed his hands over his eyes, breathing in deeply, then he pulled it all out. Krel. His friend, his crush, was an alien. An actual alien. “… don’t take this the wrong way, okay? Because I trust you, I know you don’t joke around and you’re usually even too serious and literal. But this feels a little unreal, or either something you’re making up to turn my long-lasting dream of interacting with the extraterrestrial world true. Which I thank you for, but I really don’t understand why.”

He got a frown out of that, which was better than what he had expected since he knew Krel didn’t like when people didn’t believe him or listen to him. The guy – alien or, what did he say before, Akiridion? – hummed softly, looking around, then he lightened up. He took out something, a protractor by the look of it, showing it to him.

“I have very concrete proof, though it might be quite surprising. Please stay calm, okay?” Seamus nodded, not really sure what to expect. Krel pressed something over his protractor, there was a sudden light what in the- Oh. Oh. “There, this is my actual form. Well, my Akiridion form, I do not mind my human form at this point, it is almost like another side of me. This is to tell you that my appearance was simply that, the real Krel is always here, I hope this is a given for you.” He felt himself being observed. “Johnson?” He felt himself being poked a little. “I told you to remain calm, what are you doing? Is this a human reaction? Are you sick perhaps?” Not that hearing Krel worried about him wasn’t nice, but his thoughts resided elsewhere.

Like the fact that in the house of his crush, this apparition had materialized. There was a glow in front of him, pulsing blue of energy that almost made him look away. Beyond that there was a creature, taller than the one before, even more given the mane of glimmering hair raising up as without gravity. His body was dark but luminous, like space covered in stars, able to shine through despite the darkness. His eyes were blue through a black world, like far away dashing planets.

Seamus gaped, feeling like he forgot to breath for several minutes. It was ridiculous falling in love all over again, right? Right, of course. This was fine, perfectly fine, nothing to be this amazed b- Oh holy everything he had four arms, he was an al- Akiridion with four arms, screw everything his amazement was off this house’s roof and there was nothing he could have done about it.

His brained had switched off again, the little traitor. When it came back, Krel was looking at him with deep worry, something he never would have wanted for him. He needed to speak.

“… you look like a fairy.” Dang it, the traitor again, where was his filter?!

Krel blinked with those unbelievable eyes of his.

“What is a fairy?”

“Oh, huh, uhm…” Seamus swallowed, pondering if it was even a good idea and deciding that what in the world, he was talking to his friend who was a freaking extraterrestrial, rationality was officially out. “Uhm, do you have, like, legends and stories where you come from?” Krel nodded. “Well, a fairy is like a mythical creature, invented, that doesn’t exist.” Ah, he could already see the frown forming, his thoughts going somewhere like ‘I am right here you soolian’. “They are like magical beings coming from the forest… of such an ethereal beauty they cannot be real.” He almost breathed those last words, because they were almost too true all of the sudden.

The Akiridion widened his eyes, which was a sight. He was frozen, taken back, then he slowly melted into a smile. The first smile Seamus had seen of him in this form. It was as beautiful as ever, something that made him feel so lucky that Krel had trusted him enough to show him thi- Holy, freaking, mole, were his cheeks glowing? Was that an alien blush?!?

“Thank you.” Too many thank yous today, and his crush was an alien. It made sense in the fact that it didn’t make sense. “Truly, for being fine with this.”

Seamus grinned, holding his hand again. It felt a little warmer than before.

“One of my best friends is an Akiridion, how could I not? This is the dream!”

Krel beamed at him, going for the hug, making him gasp.

“You are a really good person. I knew it.” His voice was sweet. Everything felt immensely warm. The blonde was almost too overwhelmed by the fact that his crush had two arms plus to hug him to fully realize that his heart had not beat. Perhaps it was an Akiridion thing, he really wanted to know. They pulled away after a while. Krel’s cheeks were glowing again, Seamus suspected his own weren’t doing much better. “Uhm, I will take it you have some questions.” He looked away, and it was adorable to see.

“Make that some something like a thousand.” Seamus laughed a little. “Would that be okay?”

“Yes of course, you deserved to clear all the doubts you might have.” This was too good, Krel was an Akiridion, still his friend and he had another reason to spend time with him while daydreaming about his hopeless feelings. This day had been amaz- “Perhaps we could go on a less secluded place? Aja might come back soon, and I have not told her about my intention to tell you just yet, she might berate me over the fact that I did not want her to tell Steve before.” He could totally picture it. It made him snicker. “Would Sam’s be okay? Or another place maybe? Just the two of us?”

Today Seamus felt like anything other than his usual perfect student self, because his mind was struggling unbelievably. He looked up, crossing those eyes again, that embarrassed and hopeful expression of his over his brand-new appearance.

He swallowed, hoping his last brain cell wasn’t going to betray him.

“Is… is this a date?” Glowing blush at maximus.

“W-well, let’s just say that this reveal was not the only reason I wanted you to come this urgently.” He went to scratch his palm again, his glowing blue palm. “Before I could try any kind of courting ritual I wanted to be sure you were going to accept my current form… accept me, for who I really ma.” He looked at him, sending him pure shivers. “Is this okay?”

This was a dream, it had to be. That, or maybe this was the outcome, the reward at turning his back to who he used to be, in order to be a good person. Enough for an amazing person.

He was speechless. Then, faster than his insecurities, the blonde kissed the Akiridion’s forehead and hugged him again. He could feel him trembling a little, then embracing back, as much as he could. Seamus had never felt this happy before.

“Of course, it is.” He closed his eyes, grinning so much his cheeks hurt. “You’re okay.”

You’re perfect, Krel.