#THIS EPISODE WAS LIKE A ROLLERCOASTER AND WAS JUST GETTING WORSE ON MY HEART | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

lutawolf · 3 years ago

Text

My Beautiful Man and the BDSM Element Episode four

At this point the boys have left high school behind and each other. In the last episode Hira's phone dropped in the water. He saw this as a good bye and that Kiyoi wouldn't even want him to contact him any more.

Hira- "The difference between college and high school is that you don't need to be in a "group." You can be friends with who ever you are comfortable with."

At this point we meet Hira's college friend Koyama. An adorable and caring boy who has feelings for Hira. They become friends when they meet at photography club. Koyama shows support and patients with Hira's stuttering, which is something Hira hasn't really had since Kiyoi. Don't make any bones about it, Kiyoi did give Hira support and patients. It just isn't in the same way you see it from Koyama.

A lot of people were rooting for Koyama but while I found him adorable. He didn't bring out the passion. It's not that rollercoaster rush. If you don't go to the highest highs and the lowest lows, you don't feel. Koyama is a person he can be himself with but Hira can't even see Kiyoi in a commercial without forgetting how to breath.

We move to the next segment which is Koyama's birthday and he has invited Hira to join. It's at this point that Hira and Kiyoi are reunited again because he is acting in the café play that they've come to see.

Hira - "I can hear my heart beating so loud that it's going to explode! My hand were trembling so much. I feel like a tornado is ripping through my body."

A slight smirk comes to Kiyoi's face because he can see that he still effects Hira. Hira's eyes never leave Kiyoi. Meanwhile after the play Koyama is excited to introduce Hira to Kiyoi. Completely unaware that they know each other, he just knows Hira likes the commercial with Kiyoi.

Hira - "I've been trying so hard to forget it all but it came back just like that.. I feel, happy"

When Koyama goes to introduce Hira to Kiyoi. Kiyoi calls him "stalker" and Hira immediately starts stuttering again. I know this moment seems harsh but keep in mind that degrading has been apart of their relationship. It would be worse if Kiyoi feels replaced. However, if you pay attention. Though Kiyoi isn't comforting like Koyama, he doesn't leave Hira hanging. He doesn't leave people to think that Hira is a stalker. He quickly smiles and lets them know that they knew each other from high school. He also ignores the stuttering, he was patiently waiting for Hira to get through it. While his method is different than Koyama, he is not less caring. However, the minute Koyama touches Hira to try to calm him down, you can see the cut eyes.

Kiyoi is a territorial Dom. This would cut like a knife. Kiyoi can't control himself and says "gross" which everyone mistakenly thinks is directed towards Hira. He invites him to an after party which Hira immediately gets excited about but it's Koyama's birthday and he can't do that to him. So he declines.

Hira- "I am lying. I want to go. I want to get down on my knees in front of Kiyoi right now."

Hira is not a brat submissive. He is a deep submissive so this is completely in line with his thought process. Hira then tries to apologize but with a bored look Kiyoi says he doesn't care if he comes or not. Because Kiyoi is mad and jealous, he's never been turned down by Hira or had someone come near to replacing him.

Koyama goes to Hira's house and have a hot pot. While eating Koyama apologizes because he didn't realize Kiyoi was like that. Hira defends Kiyoi saying that he is always like that. He then diverts the conversations to asking if the hot pot was all he wanted. Koyama assures him that it is and he is just happy to be sharing it with Hira. Hira knows that words like this will never come from Kiyoi's mouth.

Hira- "Smooth college life, making friends that really click with me. These little things that I have slowly built up. They were swept away by Kiyoi just like that."

Needless to say Hira can't stay away from Kiyoi. "Where did this person come from. So disgusting and super obvious." He is still angry about being jilted. Then he snatches the review from Hira and realizes that Hira still worships him. He invites him to the after-party once again. This time Hira goes. They don't interact at all at the party and they both get drunk for the same reason. Which leads to two drunks walking each other home. While doing so they stop at the playground they used to go to together. You can tell Kiyoi is still very upset with Hira because he is still harsh and doesn't want him to touch him.

"Why are you staring at me. You are just as disgusting as before" Then he hands Hira a flyer. Hira asks if he can keep coming. Kiyoi commands "Don't ask me every time. Just come if you want to." They then begin chatting about the play and how hard it is to keep the rehearsal place. Hira offers up his place and then quickly apologizes for over stepping. Hira is quickly going back into submissive mode. It's where he would rather be so it's easy to fall back into the habit.

Kiyoi then takes the opportunity to get Hira's new number and to find out why he changed it. He says it's because it fell in the water but Kiyoi isn't buying it. "That doesn't explain why you changed your number" "Sorry." "Are you dating Koyama?" "Eh? No, not really dating." "But you guys might be?" "Why do you ask?" Because Hira while he is sexually attracted to Kiyoi and he is willingly submissive to him, has never viewed their relationship as a relationship. Ah, but Kiyoi has. "Why can't I ask?" "I thought you might care about it." "Why should I care, you guys should probably get together." Then he goes to walk away but Hira quickly grabs him.

Hira is confused by the question. He can't even answer because who would compare to his King? However, Kiyoi is so done with the lack of communication. Never mind that he isn't the best at it himself. He kicks Hira. Hira says ouch but lets be real here, he is more hurt by the fact that Kiyoi is walking away.

"Will I continue to chase Kiyoi as I did before?"

And that concludes episode 4. Hope you guys enjoy 💜💜💜

#my beautiful man kink #my beautiful man #luta opinions #luta talks kink #coconuts mafia #luta talks my beautiful man

126 notes · View notes

richincolor · 3 years ago

Photo

Title: The Lesbiana’s Guide to Catholic School Author: Sonora Reyes Genres: Contemporary, LGBTQIA, Romance Pages: 400 Publisher: Balzer & Bray Review Copy: Received an electronic copy from the publisher Availability: 17 May 2022

Summary: Seventeen-year-old Yamilet Flores prefers drawing attention for her killer eyeliner, not for being the new kid at a mostly white, very rich, Catholic school. But at least here no one knows she's gay, and Yami intends to keep it that way. After being outed by her crush and ex-best friend, she could use the fresh start.

At Slayton Catholic, Yami has new priorities: make her mom proud, keep her brother out of trouble, and most importantly, don't fall in love. Granted, she's never been great at any of those things, but that’s a problem for Future Yami.

The thing is, it’s hard to fake being straight when Bo, the only openly queer girl at school, is so annoyingly perfect. And smart. And talented. And cute. Either way, Yami isn’t going to make the same mistake again. If word got back to her mom, she could face a lot worse than rejection. So she’ll have to start asking, WWSGD: What would a straight girl do?

Told in a captivating voice that is by turns hilarious, vulnerable, and searingly honest, The Lesbiana’s Guide to Catholic School explores the joys and heartaches of living your full truth out loud.

Review: [THE LESBIANA’S GUIDE TO CATHOLIC SCHOOL deals with racism, homophobia, immigration, suicidal ideation, and the hospitalization of a suicidal character.]

I knew I would love THE LESBIANA’S GUIDE TO CATHOLIC SCHOOL from the moment I saw the table of contents, which features hilarious, faux “commandment”-style chapter titles. Author Sonora Reyes does a fantastic job of establishing Yamilet’s many facets right from the start. Yami is a funny and insightful narrator, and it is heart wrenching watching her navigate the conflicts between who she feels she has to pretend to be and who she actually is.

One of the things Reyes did exceptionally well was capturing just how much everything can be when you’re a teenager and what it’s like as you become increasingly aware of the weight of your current and future responsibilities. Yami has so much on her plate, from keeping an eye on her brother at their new school to finding a part-time job.

On the more lighthearted side of how much, it was a delight to follow Yami on her rollercoaster adventure of falling for Bo. There were so many great moments between them, both while Yami was in denial and after she finally admitted her feelings to herself. I loved how they opened up to each other, bit by bit—one of my favorite scenes was when Bo talked to Yami about her parents’ décor. I spent the entire book rooting for them to get together.

I also enjoyed the focus on Yami’s dynamics with the various members of her family, especially as everything changed over the course of the book. Many of the major subplots center on Yami’s family, so I don’t want to spoil too much, but I will say that Yami’s relationship with her younger brother, Cesar, was particularly great. I liked how they played off each other, from their banter to their fights to the times they had each other's backs. The Flores family felt real, in their conflicts, celebrations, and disappointments.

Recommendation: Buy it now, especially if you like contemporary romance! THE LESBIANA’S GUIDE TO CATHOLIC SCHOOL is a delightful young adult book that sensitively tackles what it’s like to be a lesbian first-generation Mexican American teen trying to fly under the radar at a largely white Catholic high school. Yami’s relationships with her family and the girl she has a crush on create a solid emotional foundation for a compelling novel.

Extras:

¡Vamos a hablar! | Let's Talk! — Interview with Sonora Reyes

The Chills at Will Podcast – Episode 122 with Sonora Reyes, Keen Observer and Chronicler of Young Adult Stories, Creator and Host of the Twitter Chat #QPOCChat, and Author of The Lesbiana’s Guide to Catholic School

#the lesbiana's guide to catholic school #sonora reyes #weneeddiversebooks #LGBTQIA #romance #contemporary

45 notes · View notes

theintrovertedarchitect · 3 years ago

Text

post 2521 syndrome

What a rollercoaster of an emotional journey it was...

I slept and woke up to find myself dreaming and thinking about the ending of 2521. I don’t hate it, but I don’t love it either. An elephant was sitting on my chest and somebody was strangling me all throughout the episodes 15 and 16. I knew that was going to happen ever since the beach trip episode but still, I was not ready (it didn’t help that I was having my period).

I am sad. I still want to cry. I haven’t been this affected from a drama ever since CLOY which ended on a happier note. I understand where NHD was coming from. Putting myself in her shoes, I would be breaking up with BYJ if I saw that there was no effort from him. His career is a very stressful and busy one. Some careers are not easy to handle when in a relationship. Especially if your SO is also in a very busy and stressful field. Both parts need to be understanding and patient. Both has to bend in order to make it work. Here we see that at that stage of their lives, both NHD and BYJ don’t know how to navigate this kind of relationship. NHD sees that she’s dating her mother, BYJ is afraid that the more burden he puts on her, the less of the NHD he knows and loves will remain (which I think not really would turn out as he was worried about but, well). We need to remember that these people are young. NHD only 22 and BYJ 26. I am slightly older than BYJ and I’m still not ready for a serious relationship with the direction I am taking in my career. Loving someone is not the same as being in a relationship. A full clear communication and a common goal are needed. I think that’s why it didn’t work out for them.

But the thing hurts the most is that they lost someone so dear to them, they lost their best friend. Because above everything, they were best friends. I lost a best friend when I was a teenager (not dead, just drifted apart as we grew up and found that we hurt more than we supported each other) and this was the most painful breakup of my life. It took me so long to get over because I loved and trusted my best friend so much, and when we changed for the worse, I felt like I lost a vital limb. It took me years to feel like I could let people in, and I still have problems with trusting people with my heart. In 2521, adult NHD seems bitter, fed up. Adult BYJ doesn’t seem happy either. Because they lost the purest form of friendship and love. They know it is not coming back and there won’t be anything as pure as that. I just wish that life brings them together again as best friends, friends who can just be there.

About the memories of youth... I can agree that all the memories that seemed so grand and perfect in youth can decay and become fragments of past when you get older. I am not as old as the adult NHD, but I forgot all my happy moments. Because as you grow up, new memories and life erase and replace all of them. Only when I think too hard about a moment of past that I can remember, yes I was happy. I remember it fondly, but it doesn’t bring me immense joy or pain that time flew away. Life goes on, we grow, dwelling on past memories only keeps us from going forward.

Let’s talk about our new favourite couple, KYR and MJW. They worked because MJW could up and design his life according to KYR. It worked really well for him in the end, but theirs is a relationship where one side sacrifices a lot more for the other, and he is happy about it. So, happy ending on their side, I don’t think I could deal with more breakups.

JSW, my girl. She was the character I resonated with the most. She is me at times, and she is someone I want to be. Especially when she never bends for anything when it comes to her principles and beliefs. Hers was the most realistic story of all. She studied hard, had setbacks because of people and life, but persevered. Now she works and takes life one day at a time. She is bored, but she finds happiness in small moments too, like BYJ’s brother :)

One thing to remember all the time is happiness is not a direction, not a goal. Happiness is fleeting. You will feel sad, angry, devastated, proud, accomplished... Like how these feelings don’t last forever, happiness is like that too. We wanted NHD and BYJ to be together and happy forever, but life isn’t like that. If they didn’t break up then, they would have hurt each other more and their time together would become tainted. I am at least happy that they could end it on an amicable note and remember each other fondly. I wish I had that with my best friend too, but I was not that lucky. So NHD, BYJ, KYR, MJW, JSW. You became my friends for 8 weeks and I’ve learned a lot from you. Thank you for the memories :)

#twenty five twenty one

29 notes · View notes

myrxellabaratheon · 2 years ago

Text

I posted 559 times in 2022

23 posts created (4%)

536 posts reblogged (96%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@centimetri

@roombagreyjoy

@katebishopofearth

@naivesilver

@demontargaryen

I tagged 278 of my posts in 2022

Only 50% of my posts had no tags

#got - 91 posts

#game of thrones - 91 posts

#a song of ice and fire - 90 posts

#asoiaf - 89 posts

#theon greyjoy - 42 posts

#house of the dragon - 36 posts

#hotd - 35 posts

#daemon targaryen - 27 posts

#me - 17 posts

#about me - 17 posts

Longest Tag: 135 characters

#it’s even worse cause nell read the book/understood myrcella’s characterization through the script and the way she talks like she knows

My Top Posts in 2022:

This might sound silly, but today, in the middle of a Marvel voice acting panel Robb Stark’s Italian voice actor dedicated to me a line from the dialogue between Robb and Theon before Theon leaves for the Iron Islands and I was NOT crying at all

Have a pic of me in my Clea cosplay with him just after that moment!

9 notes - Posted November 27, 2022

Friendly reminder that, according to Fire and Blood, Daemon Targaryen was NOT in the Vale when Rhea Royce died.

19 notes - Posted September 19, 2022

I finally convinced myself to watch Criminal Minds latest season and the last episode is a rollercoaster but I absolutely LOVE how they made Garvez canon!

Also just before Luke asks Penelope to go out drinking they are signing and Penelope sings: “we kissed” looking at Luke and Matt - who’s the one who’s closest to Luke in the team - comes behind them and says: kiss! Completely out of nowhere which means he KNOWS Luke is into her and this warmed my heart so bad!

21 notes - Posted January 5, 2022

Me: I would never like the Targaryens, let alone ship them.

Daemon and Rhaenyra: exist

Me: except them, them are my babies!

33 notes - Posted September 12, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

I’m rewatching the Fellowship for the Ring and one thing I’ve never noticed and makes me laugh a lot is the following.

Boromir: says something vaguely offensive toward Aragorn

Legolas: how dare you disrespect my bae like this?! I’ll Sean Bean you way sooner than you’ll be Sean Beaned in this movie!

105 notes - Posted October 14, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review

2 notes · View notes

gunsatthaphan · 3 years ago

Note

This episode was an emotional rollercoaster, and all I want to do is see them happy in the finale but we get a time skip?! Like… 😭😭 why?

Don’t get me wrong, I get that they were going to separate due to their parents, I mean Pran said it from the beginning. He never let himself do these things because of their parents. But… but they escaped for a little bit, they… it hurts. The pain on Pran’s face when he says he and Pat broke up, the way that Pat hides how much it’s hurting even in the face of his father’s dickish words. I just…

I didn’t know it could hurt this much. I’ve seen some bls, but my most heart wrenching BL watch was UWMA okay, this hurts. I just.. this might hurt worse than UWMA did..

It’s the way I had so much hope for Bad Buddy’s episode to end purely, with the episode 12 being as soft and happy, and I watched it shatter without English subs, only for it shatter into millions of smithereens when the subs were there. Episode eleven is still freakin cursed, but episode twelve is probably going to hurt even more because the break-up, then there’s what seems to be a time skip, then the reunion, and they just looked so upset when their eyes met, so uncertain, like time and distance really hasn’t changed anything except that they weren’t together, they split, so what happens now? I can’t even… ugh!

-------------------------------------------------------------

Listen anons I'm used to bls pulling the most unnecessary shit in the last 2 episodes and at this point I'm like 🤷🏼‍♀️because I'm so used to it.

But THIS??? Hell. That shit hurts on a different level 😭

Couples separating because of their parents is something I will never understand but I guess it's also a cultural thing.

As I said I hate time skips and I don't see any purpose in them, other than showing character development. But it always makes me feel disconnected from the original story and to see the characters so disconnected from each other as well is even worse. I wanna say I'm convinced that they're gonna get back together at the end and that it's gonna be an atots kind of conclusion but I'm definitely gonna prepare for the worst. I'm just------- having a hard time thinking about this jkdhgjk

xxx

#bad buddy #bad buddy ep11 #patpran

15 notes · View notes

passable-talent · 5 years ago

Note

OMG is it too much to ask for a continuation of the last person's ask request ? Like I loved it so much but was heartbroken at the angst ending. Could you like do where the reader has to adjust to him being there and they work through there feelings them eventually falling hard for zuko as they did for Lee and Zuko tries his best to make things right them and whether or not it works is up to you I'm down for a surprise will they/won't they?

I’m going to... scream

someone, you my friend, loved my fic SO MUCH you want a continuation??????

I owe u my life thank you so much 💕💕💕💕

side bar I watched The Western Air Temple to get the true 👌🏻👌🏻 canon compliance of this ask and I am like, not okay. i would give my life for Zuko and the episode is SUCH a rollercoaster and a masterpiece of the group’s collective opinions of Zuko, I could go off but I’m not gonna. mostly? 18 y/o me cannot handle the resurgence of 6 y/o me that just crushes on Zuko like crazy

this is gonna be another long one because I actually really like this storyline? also ya boi is a sucker for angst

continuation of this post

You’d stalked back into the temple, finding an empty room to sulk in, anger and sadness and betrayal and all sorts of upset wrestling in your heart. You thumped your back against the wall, scowling, and reached up to wipe a tear you weren’t aware had fallen, forcefully, as though you were angry at it.

Maybe you were.

Zuko had betrayed you. He had been given the choice, and he chose poorly. He had no excuse for that. You could’ve even understood if he’d regretted it immediately, but he hadn’t! He had stayed in the fire nation for months!

What had changed? What had rocked his life so deeply that he’d come to the avatar? Was he being honest, or was it a trap? You wouldn’t put a trap past him, not after all of his past treachery.

Though you didn’t want to see him, you did want to know what was going on, in case there was a fight and you needed to intervene. It was as good a time as ever, you decided, to practice seismic senses. You weren’t quite good at it yet, and not nearly as good as Toph, but you’d been learning.

Pushing off of the wall with a motion still angry, you took a step forward and kneeled, settling both knees onto the floor. Already you closed your eyes, regulating your breathing as though deep in meditation.

The touch of your fingertips to the stone floor was light, at first, feathery, but slowly you moved your hands forward and laid the palm down. You stilled, your body not moving even a bit, and slowly a scene began to take form. It wasn’t a picture, and you couldn’t see it exactly, it was like the way that your fingers could find your nose even when your eyes were closed. You just knew, as though the ground itself was an extension of your body.

You could sense Aang, Katara, Sokka, and Toph, standing together and facing Zuko. You couldn’t quite understand his movements, but you knew they were frantic, whereas Team Avatar stood ready in stances prepared to fight.

The image went fuzzy as your heartbeat sped up, and by the time you could get it to clear up again enough to make sense of it, Zuko was gone. You stood up, and walked back out to the rest of the group, fists clenched at your side.

“So you kicked him out, huh?”

“We had to!” Katara said, a snarl in her voice. “He’s-“

“Don’t defend yourself to me,” you interrupted, “I probably would’ve done something worse.” There was a pause, in which you followed their lead to grab your sleeping bundle from Appa’s saddle. “And even if I hadn’t, my voice will only confuse our decision. I’m not even sure what I think of him, but I know I’m angry.”

“We can’t trust him,” Katara said, and you dropped your bundle so you could use it as a seat.

“I kind of have a confession to make,” Aang said, and the night only got weirder from there.

When Toph came back, you weren’t surprised she’d been burnt. And you weren’t surprised when Combustion Man resurfaced, too. You had the forethought to throw a rock shield from rubble in front of your friends, but very quickly Aang and Katara’s attempts at fighting back made the five of you realize you needed to find an even better place to hide.

What did surprise you was that Zuko swooped in, to try to stop the assassin. Despite everything about yourself, despite everything he’d done, you felt cold dread grip your heart when he was thrown back over the edge of the temple, and may have even tried to save him if it weren’t for Combustion Man’s constant explosions.

But Sokka did what Sokka did best, and soon the assassin was gone, leaving behind a clear view of the fire prince climbing a vine back up to safety.

“Oh. Zuko made it,” you said, your tone halfway between relief and annoyance.

His speech to Aang was everything you expected to hear, and it seemed as though he’d earned Aang’s forgiveness. Your heart still racing, you listened, to Aang’s words. You didn’t dare look at Zuko, and so stood beside Katara, staring at the ground by her feet. You tried to let anger be your shield, because Zuko’s presence made you remember all to easily how much you cared for him, even if it was a different part of him, under a different name.

“Now I know you understand how easy it is to hurt the people you love.” The sentence made you lift your head, and for the first time you let your gaze slide to Zuko. You caught his eye, just for a moment, as though the sentence had had the same effect on him. But he brought his focus back to Aang, to be told that he needed permission from all members of Team Avatar. Toph and Sokka’s answers were affirmative, and you knew yours would be the same- but that didn’t mean that you had to go easy on him.

“Y/N?” Aang asked, and you raised your chin, though still your gaze was on the floor, unfolding your arms from your chest.

“There’s good in him,” you started, and you raised your gaze finally to Aang. “I’ve seen it. And if you think that this is proof that he can let it-“ you slid your eyes to Zuko, a soft glare making up your expression. “-guide his actions,” you looked back to Aang with a small nod, “then I’m okay with it.” You didn’t dare look back at Zuko, you didn’t want to know his reaction. But mostly, you didn’t want to see his face, remind yourself how much you still cared for him.

It was easy, you decided as you laid in bed that night, to hate him when he wasn’t in front of you. It was easy to be angry and talk of how you’d hurt him when you couldn’t see him, hear his voice. But now that he was here, and you’d watched him fight, you knew that that wasn’t the truth of it. You still cared for him. Lee hadn’t been washed away in Ba Sing Se- the aspects of Zuko’s personality that Lee was made of were still there, and very much alive. You saw it in the small smile he’d let himself crack when you glanced back as Team Avatar walked away from him.

The boy you’d almost fallen in love with was very much alive. And though he’d betrayed you, he’d hurt you, he’d betrayed and hurt the people you cared about- it didn’t stop you from wanting to love him again.

“Y/N?” came Zuko’s voice from just outside your door, and your first response was to earthbend a slab from the floor that sealed the door shut. “I know you’re angry, please, just let me in so that I can talk. You don’t need to listen, or look at me, I just want to say things to you. I need to.” Despite yourself, you wanted to hear what he had to say, and so you uncurled just enough to pull your slab through the door, though you didn’t move it far enough to allow him to enter the room.

Reaching down to press your palm to the floor, you used seismic sense to make out that he’d sat down on the other side of the slab.

“Thank you,” were his first words, and you assumed that he meant for moving the slab. You were wrong. “-for saying that about me. You, I feel like I’ve hurt you the most. I know that that’s selfish, or- or ignorant, because I’ve done terrible things to Aang and Sokka and Katara, but-“ he sighed, and you heard what you thought was an impact between palm and forehead.

“But when I did those things to them, I didn’t care about them. I cared about you.” Though you couldn’t see him, through your little wall of rock, his words made you turn, rolling over to face where his body was.

“I cared about you a lot, and still I let Azula-“ once again he cut himself off. “You deserve a proper explanation, Y/N, even if it isn’t a good one.”

“My mom always treated me differently than my sister, I know that. My father did too, but in a different way. He didn’t- he wanted nothing to do with me. I was his eldest, his son, and he didn’t seem to like me at all. He was the one that gave me my scar, you know.” His next sentence was lost on you as you sat up, anger hot as lightning coursing through your veins.

You knew that scar had come from a firebender. But between Ba Sing Se and this moment, you’d been so caught up in your anger that you never stopped to realize that Zuko was a firebender too, and so a firebender must’ve hurt another firebender, and who would’ve done that? His father, the fire lord? If Aang didn’t take him down, you decided that you would.

“I spent years blindly searching for the avatar, not letting anything get in my way. I was so cruel. To Katara and Sokka, to Toph and Aang, I was so cruel because I just wanted to go home. I wanted to earn my honor, but moreso I just wanted to show my father that I could do what he asked.” You heard a tremor in his voice.

“And I was so blind, it made me ignore how important my uncle was to me. I see it now- and I think back on his face right after I betrayed him, and I just feel so ashamed.” He paused, leveling his voice before he said his next words.

“I think about how you looked. When Azula said that you were my enemy, too. I know it’s no excuse, but she’s so manipulative, she’s such a-“ There was quiet as he let out a breath.

“I don’t regret spending my time in Ba Sing Se with you. But I do regret how it ended. You have every reason to be angry with me, you’re right to be. I’m so sorry, Y/N.” You thought, for a moment, that he was done, but still he didn’t move.

“When I went back to the fire nation, I fell back in with an old girlfriend I’d had before I was banished. But it felt wrong. It felt like- like I was just with her to try to regain my life from before, but I wasn’t that person anymore. I wrote her a letter, but I didn’t know what to say, and...” Zuko paused, and sighed. You wondered, with a bit of bitterness, why he would tell you about a girlfriend he’d had between the last time the two of you saw each other. Wasn’t he just giving you more reason to be angry with him?

“I’ll never have enough words to tell you how sorry I am. And I know I don’t deserve a second chance from you. I deserve nothing but hatred and- and anger and everything you can throw at me, because I asked for it when I turned against you.” You stared at your slab, and wondered how long it would be before your eyes bore holes straight through it.

“Just... just know that I’m sorry, and I- I’m never going to treat you like that again.” He took a deep breath, as though meditating, or summoning his courage. “Know that I’ve thought about you almost every day. About that time you spilled tea on me and tried to pay for a replacement shirt, and-“ he tapered off, and let out the rest of his breath. “You’re probably asleep.” He was silent, for a moment, as he reached up to press his hand onto the rock keeping him from you.

“Goodnight, Y/N.” You heard him stand up and walk away.

You remembered the night he was talking about. Mushi- Iroh- had let you stay past when the shop closed, before you worked there. Zuko had sat down across from you and closed your textbook whenever you tried to read, and finally you’d gotten frustrated and put it away. You’d tried to put your feet up, but instead kneed the table, and sent his cup rolling, spilling his tea onto his shirt.

Looking back on it, it made sense why the heat of the tea didn’t bother him. He was a firebender, after all.

The part that he’d failed to mention tonight was how he’d walked to a back room to get another shirt, as you followed, insisting on paying for the ‘damages’. But the words had caught in your throat when he took off his shirt because wow, and that was all you could really fathom yourself to think, and you’d stuttered, and he’d just laughed before putting another shirt on.

You wondered, now, if things would have turned out differently if you had kissed him that night, instead of pulling away. Had you called him boyfriend, would he have been so quick to betray you?

Laying down slowly, you reached out to press your palm to the ground again. It took you a moment to get a clear seismic understanding, as your heart was pounding and your breath shaking, but you could sense him in the room he’d taken up as his own. You pulled your hand to your chest, losing the image, and closed your eyes.

Your throat burned the next morning.

ok this bitch got LONG AS FUCK so stay tuned for a pt 3 probably tomorrow

-🦌 Roe

1K notes · View notes

clandestine-j · 4 years ago

Text

Gossip Girl Reboot, EP. 3

Review/Reaction

alright, we're here for ep 3 reaction and thoughts &

man, i must say, DRAMA.

love it. i'm going to try and make this short but i fail horribly at stuff like that soooo lets see how this will go. i think imma split it into three groups! adults, kids, other random shit.

adults

you know what? i was here for most of them. people talk about zoyas dad bad acting but he was fine in his little scene, i'm happy that he's forcing zoya to take time with obie or whatever. i know people hate her dad and zobie but it was a little nice scene.

i'm really loving julien's dad. i'm glad he can own up and apologize and i get where he was coming from. honestly 10/10 so far, i love the relationship he has with julien and how's he's learning to cope with her becoming an adult and seeing it happen.

fucking love max's dad and the whole family dynamic thing before it went to shit. obvi, the one day is shitty but his other dad, lovely, i love their relationship. parents are winning in this ep.

teachers? JAIL (maybe not rafa but we'll still see). honestly, i'm not hating the teachers being gg, i like that they put gg out there for other private schools so i'm enjoying it but still JAIL. JAIL. JAIL.

our mains

we didn’t get to see much of monet but her little blow up motion at the end was funny and when the chick offered her name, monet said no. queen. and home girl accepted it.

luna was #theebest from her doing the zoya glow up. i think everyone agrees that her holding up the phone is a fan favorite. luna is my best one liner girl. her delivery is on point.

obie, more of obie, i know people don’t like him but he’s an alright character for me. i see potential but we need to flush him out a bit more. i hope to see more of his interactions with aki, give us the friendship. i want him to take what he learns to heart.

zoya, yes girl, pop off. i guess she can when it comes to her passions but not to her. (just be catty once back) i love that she did call luna when it came to the hashtag and she realized who she couldn’t be fairly quickly. i wonder if the play wright is the new friend.

julien! honestly, she really is a queen and i’m loving her pushing back against monet and luna more and more. i also love the scheming and her night out with max. they’re great together and i just wanna see more of it. (all of the friendships) i also love her relationship with her dad. i like that they talk and work things out and while he shouldn’t have lied, i get why and i love that he thought about her so much.

idk how to even to the next few but here we go.

honestly, i found aud and aki funny this episode. their reactions were so alike but so different. the awkward wave and everything. i get that they’re lying to themselves but damn, if they could find a way to spice up their sex life they’d be good. i find them so cute as a couple when they’re all cuddly and just ugh. guys. talk. i will say that after though, when they met in the hall way, i like that once it was out there, aki was straight to the point. honestly, if they broke up...i don’t think it’d be bad, i think they’d be good friends and understanding of each other.

i saw people saying that they didn’t give enough (aki) but max was on his monologue shit and i think they were in two different mindsets. aki didn’t look blank, he looked pissed. and i would be too lowkey, you say you don’t wanna be in the middle of it but then you put yourself, right in the middle. and aside from the kiss, i don’t think aki tried anything more with him unless it comes out that he did. but a few days passed (julien jetting around) so i don’t if they were that thirsty. audrey probs thought that in that moment, she’d really lose aki and that’s what brought her too tears. i think aki already accepted what might happen and was just pissed while audrey, even when she told julien about it, she was disconnected in her head about what she had done.

max was a rollercoaster this episode. from the taking julien out to posting her with the coke to making the plans. it’s was all chaos. i think the moment i felt the worst from aside from the break down? when he didn’t realize the trouble with his parents marriage at the table but we could all see it. that was heart breaking and my dude though, his planning was on ten. making the profile, switching the seats, the hands on the thigh (aki licking his lips) and then his break down and just telling of the truth, exploding, spilling the tea. whatever you wanna call it. it was wonderful and his reasons for doing it, so childish and backfired but you get it. he just wanted the truth out with his parents and it all went to hell. really, heart breaking but amazing for the show and his character development.

my man is still messy though, even without telling the business. like aud and max were in a relationship but those were yo friends my dude. you legit blocked aki from sitting next to his girlfriend, im crying. (messy and he knows it and aki liked his lips. sick.)

now random thoughts that had no real place

audrey’s actress makes these strange faces sometimes...idk...it’s funny to me because i’m wondering why

the scene when max’s dads and rafa met, jesus

would you spell it buffl-ho?

it’s the least you could do

did aki say shenanigans, boy you are a kid

the moment with max and his dad, still, thinking about and it still cute, all cuddly, idk if the og parents were like this but i love it

since we’re getting mostly reasonable parents i expect the worse ones to pop up soon

the way monet delivered that brad line, it sends

why would he put her doing coke on

aud / aki had reasons to think max would blab because he’s messy

my boy aki flirting with other dudes as rafa

i could see aud asking aki to make out with any boy while she watches, so guys get it together please

how did obie not see aki stops talking and suddenly look at max

i wonder if someone has tried to take advantage of max because those words hit too hard

those teachers really set home girl up, omg, JAIL.

aki needs new friends who’ll love his movie drops. he just gets bullied into things, maybe it’s his kink i won’t judge but he couldn’t change by himself, pushed into the bathhouse, the profile, obie won’t let the group chat name stick #stopgettingbullied

aki’s & max’s relationship summed up into one tweet, he really likes this boi, once i’m SICK (click the sentence)

i haven’t loved all of at school looks but i really liked juliens at the end of the episode

was the music transitions a little jarring to anyone else?

thanks all for now, just my minds ramblings as normal. i could go more in depth about all of this but i’m sure ya’ll are sick of reading it now.

#gossip girl reboot #max wolfe #aki menzies #julien calloway #luna la #c;gg

35 notes · View notes

cadaceus · 4 years ago

Text

C2E141

One last time, y’all. This campaign and these characters have meant so much to me, and this seven hour finale was definitely an emotional rollercoaster. (Yes, I shed actual tears at one point, which rarely happens to me with media. But this is a special occasion.) These liveblogs are nearly as long as the episode itself, so grab a snack! With that being said, here are my very last liveblogs for Campaign 2 of Critical Role. As always, major spoilers below, so beware.

- Veth taking a level in Wizard, god I am really gonna cry ten minutes into this thing... 😭

- We got our first “stay with us” to Essek, I am emo...

- I was fully not expecting to say goodbye to Frumpkin, but now I’m on the verge of tears... farewell dear fey friend (Marisha saying “that wasn’t supposed to be what broke me” me too me too)

- “You’re a good person.” “I could be.” “You are.”

- “I think you’re a good person” I never thought that I’d hear Beau say that about Essek and this genuinely might be what breaks me... she thinks he’s a good person.... redemption is possible.... maybe love is real....

- If I end up crying over wizards, look away

- Jester lifting up Fjord’s arm to snuggle beneath it made me say “awww” out loud 🥺

- VETH GOING FOR A DIP IN THE POND, I AM GENUINELY SO PROUD OF HER

- “Aahhh!! It’s me! Your wife!” I am going to miss Jester’s sending so much

- Okay that accent bit was so funny, I am going to miss all of them so much

- REAL MOLLY IS BACK REAL MOLLY IS BACK REAL MOLLY IS BACK

- Oh but he doesn’t remember them... and Yasha is trying so hard to help him remember, it’s so so sweet

- Something about the way he said “Tealeaf’s nice” made me tear up... I was neutral on Mollymauk early campaign because I went into things knowing that he passed away, but this whole conversation with the Mighty Nein is So Much. Also “Kingsley Tealeaf”

- “Everyone should have a brother” as someone with three of them, I vouch for this 🥺

- a) I love Marion Lavorre (and Jester ofc!) so very much and b) I can’t believe that Jester’s parent trap actually worked??

- “I do not think Exandria is ready for how you’re going to change it” got to me... and it’s also so true. jester has already changed the world just by being kind.

- Good bye Marion... I love and will miss you so much! (And many thanks to Laura and Matt for creating an agoraphic single mother who raised a wonderful child <3)

- Beau and Jester teasing Marion for having a complicated relationship with Babenon reminds me of Caleb saying he has a complicated relationship with Essek...

- LEAVE CALEB ALON E FUOIKJLKGKNL

- THIS IS ....... SO MUCH WORSE THAN I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE.

- Caleb’s biggest trauma(s) coming back to haunt him, I am genuinely going to cry I’m not ready for this I’m not okay

- Beau saying to Jester “Thanks, cutie” I love themmmmm

- INITIATIVE AAGJASKHDKJ AAAAAHHHH

- Essek’s Gravity Sinkhole did nothing? uhhhhh Mr Stark...

- EADWULF???? HELLO?????

- Essek using his entire turn to save Caleb last battle 🤝 Caleb using his entire turn to save Essek this battle

- ASTRID???? I TRUSTED YOU??? WE ALL TRUSTED YOU????

- Another Counterspell chain sdfdghjkdl wizards !!!

- “It’s just business” is literally the Neutral Evil line, it always gives me chills when any character says it

- This hurts more after Liam confirming on Twitter that Astrid/Caleb/Eadwulf were all three a romantic item... please stop hurting Caleb, you loved him 😭

- THE FJORD VS EADWULF SWORD FIGHT IS SO CINEMATIC I LOVE IT HERE ACTUALLY

- Essek taking every opportunity to pull Caleb to safety makes me so emotional... 😭

- “You’re not the first student I’ve had to put down” I am burning with my anger for you, old man

- THE DISPEL WORKED LET’S GO CALEB.....

- Remember when Matt said that Essek doesn’t openly show concern/emotion? And now he’s saying “I’m scared” in front of his closest friends and his worst enemies.... growth my love.....

- BEAU AND VETH LETS GO CHAOS CREW LETS MF GO BABEYYYY!!!

- FJORD COUNTERSPELLING THE DIMENSION DOOR..... and Matt having him describe it.... is this taking the place of a “HDYWTDT” *eyes emoji*

- CALEB GOING DOWN NO, THANK GOD FOR THAT DEATH WARD

- Veth’s illusion of Caleb’s parents flanking Caleb in the flames.... that got me too, Liam

- “Stay down.” yeah, okay, that was sexy

- ASTRID BEING THE ONE TO ACTIVATE THE COLLAR IS LITERALLY POETIC JUSTICE... Trent being beaten by the student who stuck with him longest I love this so much, she deserved that moment honestly

- Break Time, AKA Emma Makes Her Weekly Mug Brownie Interlude

- Sometimes I feel like “death is too good for you” is a copout, but in this case it fits so well, I want this mf’s reputation destroyed and the entire operation exposed and overthrown let’s goooo

- “I loved you both so much”.... Astrid and Eadwulf walking away.... oh, Blumendrei... I know this is not the end of your story. What’s past is prologue, loves

- The Empire Siblings are gonna burn down the whole system because it’s the system that enables individual corruption... I am so fulfilled by this, god i love them

- “I love you too” OH MY GOD I LOVE THEM SO MUCH, FJORESTER ARE THE CUTEST FOR REAL

- Jester and Essek’s friendship still means so much to me btw just in case anyone wanted a check-in

- Veth giving the flask to Kingsley!! Good for her, good for her!

- OH Blumenduo are back already! I truly thought that was going to be their last appearance of the Campaign, why is this taking me more by surprise than Trent’s appearance

- “[Caleb] notes how similar Eadwulf and Fjord are” this is Widofjord adjacent... this episode we have gotten Widomauk-adjacent, Widojest-adjacent, and Widofjord-adjacent (and Blumentrio ofc), now come through Shadowgast and we can get a full Bingo on the “Bisexual Maelstrom” card

- Speaking of relationships, I am lowkey into the Fjord/Jester/Kingsley dynamic LOL no one look at me I’m in hiding

- I’M NOT READY TO SAY GOODBYE TO VETH AND CAD 😭 It makes sense and the fact that they have their families back is beautiful but also consider this: I’m sad and I will miss them

- The goodbyes to Caduceus..... I am going to cry aren’t I?

- “If he’s anything like his mom, you won’t see him until it’s too late” Okay that made me giggle, I love Veth and I love Luc and I love their little family

- IS ESSEK LEAVING TOO? THAT’S GONNA BE WHAT BREAKS ME ISN’T IT

- If Essek leaves and we never see him again, getting a triple whammy of goodbyes I will be so incredibly sad, I cannot do this 😭

- If anyone is interested, no I am not doing well

- I was lowkey ready to get an Essek’s feelings for Caleb confirmation tonight, I guess it makes sense that we didn’t but I hope that this is not the last time we see Essek... I want to write another emo post about him and about how much he means to me but I will refrain

- CALEB BEING A TEACHER IS THE ENDGAME I WANT FOR HIM PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE

- Wow, I really was not ready to see Caduceus and Essek go for some reason... I really wanted this Campaign to end on the image of the Mighty Nein together as all nine of them... I’m feeling so numb right now having to say goodbye 😭

- Oh, we’re in the epilogue now!

- When Fjord said “[the sea] is my favorite place to be” I genuinely felt that on a spiritual level... the ocean is home, it truly is and always will be for me as well

- “I CAST MODIFY MEMORY” FJORD LMAOOOOOOO

- Okay, that Widobrave ending is what made me shed tears for the first time this episode... not to be Personal but my biological brother graduates High School tomorrow, and for some reason this conversation just reminded me so much of me and him and now I’m emotional

- NOT THE SYPHILIS BANDITS DSYUHDFJKLSFJ;DS OKAY I NEEDED THAT LAUGH

- “I’d like to hear about your friend” Kingsley aww

- Beau giving Kingsley her first diary to help him realize who they all are is actually so perfectly fitting, I love that!

- “The other eight and I, yes” Caleb counting all nine of them again 😭

- CALEB BEING OFFERED AN ASSEMBLY SEAT WTF AAAHHH

- Oh shit, Astrid took the Assembly seat... I’m not sure how I feel about this, I feel so bad for her for having to stay in the system that abused her for so long and I would have loved to see her burn the whole thing down, but I hope that she at least has a sense of contentment with this title

- “I go where you go, baby” Beauyasha.... my darling loves....

- Beau’s dad??? But also Beau being the one with power over her father is so Good, I’m glad that she got justice on that front as well!

- This talk with Artagan... “I didn’t want you to be a god. I wanted you to be my friend.” and in the process my love you created divinity... maybe divinity is the friends we made along the way

- OH SHIT WE ARE GETTING ALL THE VANDRAN LORE TONIGHT I’M READY LET’S GO LET’S GO

- VANDRAN AND AVANTIKA WERE AN ITEM???

- Wait crack theory: Sabian was a half elf right? Could he be the son of Vandren and Avantika? Or is that too much of a stretch?

- Vandran going with them!!! Also I feel like that moment between Fjord and Vandran was lowkey a tease to a post-campain Uk’otoa one shot and I am ready for it already

- THIS BEAUYASHA MOMENT... “i’ve never known anyone as deeply as i know you” & “explore every bit of you in multiple ways ;)” & “your past doesn’t scare me, it only makes you beautiful” .... this is so much they are so much i love them so much

- “I will have you and then some” Beauyasha 😭

- I’m torn between “oh my god there’s still half an hour left?” and “how is there only half an hour left??”

- “You will let this Skyspear live at least?” oh my god so Yasha killed the last Skyspear then? Oof...

- YASHA GIVING ZUALA(’S GRAVE) THE BOOK OF FLOWERS, OH DEAR HEART

- And Beau’s talk to Zuala about being the luckiest woman alive and sacrifice.... 😭

- PLANTING FLOWERS AT ZUALA’S GRAVE... “NO BETTER GRAVE MARKER” THIS IS MAKING ME SO EMOTIONAL, I KNOW I’VE SAID THIS A LOT THIS EPISODE BUT THIS TRULY IS SO BEAUTIFUL

- So... I may or may not be crying again

- Shadowgast with a steel chair??

- Caleb’s plan for saving his parents... it’s clear he has thought of this so much, oh my darling love 😭

- Caleb burning down his chance to change his past is so symbolic and something he really needed to do, it does make me emotional though

- The other book was him writing to his parents?? Oh bby boy 😭

- While I would have loved for Caleb to open his own magic school (especially with Essek, or the Mighty Nein, or someone else as well), I am so pleased that he stays with Veth and that their friendship continues for the rest of their life because again: they mean so so much to me, and in a way they remind me of me and my biological brother (which I never realized before this episode) and yeah. They just make me Emo

- Also. Caleb being a professor was my Number One Endgame Hope for him and the fact that it came true is just so surreal in the best way possible. I’m so used to being robbed of happy endings. The fact that the Mighty Nein all got theirs makes me incredibly happy. A story does not have to be sad to be impactful. Happy stories and happy endings, especially during a time period of tumultuous real life circumstances, have just as much value and meaning and they always will. Caleb is teaching the next generation magic, and he is teaching them to be Good, and he is nurturing them, and that just means so much

- MATT CRYING IS GONNA GET TO ME

- “Let’s do it again” Please, let’s.

- Okay, everyone. I made it all seven hours in one piece with surprisingly minimal tears (though who knows, this might all sink in tomorrow.) I already wrote my thoughts earlier today about how much the Mighty Nein mean to me and how much this show and these characters have kept me holding on during quarantine and today... I’m still not ready to let them go, but I know that I can always revisit to say hello and to say thank you for changing me. Until then though... I love you all more than you could ever know. And for the last time of Campaign 2... is it Thursday yet?

Good night 💗

#cr spoilers #critical role spoilers #c2e141 #critical role #my liveblogs #cr2 #i genuinely can't believe this is the end y'all... what a journey. what a freaking journey 💗#to anyone who has ever interacted with even one of my liveblogs: i love you and i think about you every damn day dfghjkflf #it makes me Emo knowing that i'm not just speaking to the void and that there are ppl out there listening etc #also this liveblog was TWO THOUSAND WORDS LONG i checked it in a google doc sgdhjkdl #so if you made it through all that you may be entitled to financial compensation #but in all seriousness: i love you mighty nein. and thank you for everything.#is it thursday yet?#queue #(i always queue these for the mornings dgfhjk!)#and yes i WILL be liveblogging campaign 3 #also mayhaps this hiatus will be time for me to catch up with vox machina?

35 notes · View notes

onlyhereforangst · 4 years ago

Text

WWR

I’m baaaaack bitches 😘 let’s be honest the last two episodes were shit & you wouldn’t have wanted that wwr anyways. SO let’s get into the ✨angst✨ that was Nick’s episode under the cut…

Oh but before I start, why yes, yes I called this theory too. Me and this writer share a goddamn brain or something because I’ve literally always guessed big plot points of his episodes correctly 😅

Ok Nick’s dad leaving like that, with poor bby Nick all sweet asking if he promises to bring him back his favorite pastry and him hesitating before he’s going to promise- NO.

*picture Michael Scott gif here*

It’s not faaaaaair, little Nick deserved so much better- so MUCH better. And it’s only going to get worse as the episode goes on, so strap in for the walk down emo lane.

Quick pit stop for cute banter because duh. Nick giving the real estate agent Ellie’s number cracks me up because bro you want this house with her don’t you 👀 you still keep her business cards on you when you could have just as easily gotten your own (or McGee’s) by this point 👀 you just want to maaaaarry her and move iiiiiiin with her I knooooooow it 👀 Ellie’s reaction the split second we see also has me dying because she’s like ha ha this is funny you had to talk to real estate agent you drew the short straw hey wait what the fu— you did not! Before McGee interrupts any protest she can hurl back Nick’s way and that’s just gold right there. Pure middle school flirting as per usual for them and I love it.

Oooooooh Kasie’s lab scene. The growth in this one. Nick worried his family and by extension him, is going to get implicated for murder (or is guilty) even though it sounds outrageous to him, he’s got PTSD from Mona Lisa (and who wouldn’t tbh). But Ellie immediately, like IMMEDIATELY goes and defends him. Is like uh-uh don’t even GO there, it’s not a possibility its just person of interest I don’t care if it’s literal hair at the scene of a man stabbed brutally seven times, he’s not a murderer. The grooooooowth Ellie, I’m so proud of you 🥺 we went from using that logical head to realizing it’s ok to listen to your heart and wade into situations with empathy (especially for the boy you ~*looOOoOoOve*~) And then Nick talking about his dad being dead and a deadbeat and walking out when he was 5, he looks at Ellie almost the entire time, only barely glancing over at McGee like he needs to have that connection with her, she grounds him when this is suddenly very jarring having a relative by semi-involved in a murder. And Ellie isn’t the slightest bit shocked when Nick dumps this news so clearly she’s heard it and by her look, not only has she heard this, but she does not like the man for what he did to Nick. She looks pissed his father hurt Nick like that because how dare any one hurt her man 😤

And oh here it is, we back on emo lane. Nick recognizing and seeing his dad for the first time in 30 years. It’s gonna hit like a 🎵freeeeeight traaaain🎵 at first he can’t even believe its him, he blinks like a thousand times because *surely* his eyes are deceiving him and then his dad goes and uses his nickname, his nickname people the CRUELTY. YOU DON’T GET TO JUST SHOW UP THIRTY YEARS LATER AND CALL HIM BY HIS CUTE LITTLE NICKNAME YOU GAVE HIM AS A CHILD. YOU DON’T MIGUEL. NOT IN THIS GD HOUSE. Ok and now nick is in pure shock because he just got confirmation that his dad is not only *not* dead, but he’s here in front of him, in DC no less, possibly a murderer no less. AND he’s finding this out by chasing him down *not* by Miguel reaching out to him while in DC. The shock and confusion and hurt my poor baby.

And when that shock wears off and it’s just barely contained rage, my heart 🥺 so of course Ellie goes in there with him and nows she needs to immediately be the support she knows he needs but he won’t admit to needing. Nick tries to deflect with a joke at first but oh honey it’s no use. But quick comedic relief for us on emo lane “sit down, no I don’t like sitting” AHAHAHA like father like son I’m cackling because the look Ellie and nick share and nick’s eyes warn her like don’t you dare fucking say it and she’s like yep yep nope I wasn’t gonna say a damn thing I’ll just look down and try to contain my laughter because now is NOT the time. But see I’m on my couch and I can laugh all I damn well please at this scenario that was gold from the writers thank you. On a more serious level this probably hurt nick even more seeing that he’s even got the smallest something similar to his dad. He’s probably desperate to be the exact opposite, he doesn’t want to even consider being capable of what his father was capable so this - while seemingly insignificant - thing like not wanting to sit in a chair will hit deep for him without him realizing it. If something so trivial is the exact same, wouldn’t something much much heavier like commitment to relationships and family be the exact same? Wouldn’t it?? And good god poor nick for going through that mental anguish, on emo rollercoaster lane. Because it just gets better when Miguel’s excuse for being in DC is “visiting family” like call your BULLSHIT Miguel you certainly ain’t visiting family and Nick now knows oh he lies too, great, another win for the Torres blood, fan-fucking-tastic.

Quick peek at viewing room and we don’t believe in personal space, Ellie wants to be as close as possible to her hurting bby 🥺

But back to the emo stuff - Miguel just lying off his ass and Nick fed up with his father’s games because it’s truly just twisting that knife in his back that’s been stuck there for 30 years deeper and deeper. AND THEN Miguel has the audacity to yell out for “Nico” like bitch you do NOT get to call him that either. You walked out on him and never came back gtfo. And Ellie is trying so hard to keep it together but man she wants to do one of two things if not both at the same time - wrap Nick up in her arms and shield him from this deadbeat and/or punch this man through the glass to cause just a fraction of the hurt he caused Nick. But instead she just has to keep her cool to be the supportive girlfriend she is and ask nick what he thinks and then. Then. “He’s lying…because his lips are moving”

Well FUCK. Murder me right now. The anguuuuuuuish. Poor five year old Nick in a 35 year old Nick’s body. That little boy who was promised a big hojaldre in the morning from the next town over is right there. Right there to witness the father he thought he had, hasn’t changed. One of the only memories Nick probably has of his father is him leaving. Him lying and leaving. And what does he do when he finally shows up again?

HE LIES AND LEAVES. HE FUCKING LIES AND LEAVES. (I know I’m getting ahead and technically at this point we don’t know he’ll leave again but whatever sue me because this shit is too much.)

Side note: Ellie talking about a “conflict of interest” that Nick didn’t interrogate his father is laughable considering she should have never interrogated Xavier but ok.

Ooooo lets see some pissed off Nick. Let it loose baby, you deserve this. And I know I wrote about this in the tags somewhere but can we take a second to appreciate McGee’s growth??? Like bro went from straight up denial to acceptance and giving Ellie the look of “go talk to your boyfriend ok we need to make sure he’s alright and we both know your support is going to go a lot further than my support” and Ellie wordlessly kNOWS EXACTLY WHAT HE’S SAYING. She’s like yeah, of course I’ll go help my man why wouldn’t I.

I don’t know why but Ellie asking Nick if he’s talked to his “mom and sister” is just so 🥰 I can’t explain this one to you but I love this dialogue ok. Actually I love this whole ensuing conversation. Nick still is bitter (he has every gd right to be), Ellie playing the supportive girlfriend but *tiiiiiniest* bit of devil’s advocate with saying he might be innocent. Once again, so much growth because honestly she knows what it’ll do to Nick if his dad actually *is* a murderer. Like can we for a second imagine if his dad actually was guilty, right? Nick already saw he was like his dad in trivial things like not wanting to sit in chairs. Nick has already had serious, serious doubts to what he’s capable of aka worried he could, if the right buttons were pushed, be a murderer on multiple occasions. Ellie has been there with him for all of that, she knows how low his confidence is when it comes to his perceived “goodness” and she knows just how much it would break him if he learned his direct bloodline IS capable of murder. She knows how he’d spiral if that was true and so she’s gripping to any small possibility his dad is innocent. But nick, oh poor Nick my heart- he’s done. He opens up to Ellie without literally any prodding. He’s baring his long buried soul to her, that troubled, broken childhood that he surely keeps locked away in fear of letting anyone see a weakness. He bares it without question because he feels so safe in her presence he can let her in to see his deepest shame and by extension his deepest worry 🥺🥺🥺 and poor Ellie, she’s a little lost at how to go about helping him because she does have a good relationship with her dad, so yes all she has here for him is saying his father was guilty of a crap dad but it’s because she’s still trying to convince them both he has to be good. He has to be good for Nick’s sake. Buuuuuuut it doesn’t really work does it, because oh shit pissed the fuck off Nick is a site to behold isn’t it 🥵 kicking down doors once again and his smart “still think he’s innocent” oooooooo damn. Ellie’s face says it all- she’s trying so hard to hold out hope for Miguel, so hard. She needs him to be innocent she’s willing to speak it into existence a thousand times but her face is like fuck this is going to kill him and I can’t do a damn thing about it other than just watch.

More pissed off Nick 🥵 but when you think about it is so so painful, all I can picture is that little 5 year old boy who woke up the next morning waiting, waiting, and waiting. Staring out the window at each car that slows down but ultimately passes. Tugging on his Mami’s shirt asking for the hundredth time when papi is coming back from the bakery with his hojaldre, oblivious to the tears that are slowly sliding down her cheek because she still can’t find the words to tell him what she knows deep down. That little boy who when the sun starts to set the confusion sets in with it. Why hasn’t my papi come back yet? Where is he? He promised. The sadness and sense of rejection that starts to fill his little heart when his mami tucks him and his sister into bed and he asks one final time where papi is and will he say goodnight to them and his Mami has to say she’s not sure when he’s coming home and quietly to the side, “if he’s coming home.” The little boy who weeks later has finally abandoned watching out the window every, single morning. The little boy who had his heart ripped out and thrown to the side of the road when he realized his papi didn’t go to the bakery and instead he was thrown out by his father like a day-old hojaldre. So yeah pissed Nick is fine af but good god the angst underneath is suffocating. Because Nick in this moment doesn’t know the *true* reason Miguel left. He knows what he lived and what he lived is a piece of shit. Nick’s response to “is that what you think of me” is amicable because OOF he could’ve gone the fuck off right there and told him what he really thought of him but he stuck with only a slight dig. TO WHICH MIGUEL. FUCK YOU MIGUEL. IT HASN’T HURT YOU MUCH. FUCK YOU MIGUEL. FUCK YOU. SOUNDS LIKE YOU WERE A SHIT DAD SO YEAH PROBABLY A GOOD THING YOU LEFT. THANK HIM NICK WITH YOUR FISTS BECAUSE HE’S A LITTLE SHIT. FUCK YOU MIGUEL. TOUGHENED HIM UP SO MUCH HE SHUTS EVERYONE OUT. YEAH FUCK YOU.

And then man here is the point where it all just muddies in Nick’s mind. The poor dude. He knows this line of work, hell he was undercover for almost a decade. He understands how that leaves almost no room for a family. He gets it, so deep deep deep down a tiny part of him realizes why Miguel likely *thought* it was ok to ditch his family. But for thirty years he’s felt abandoned- no reasoning can change that.

“It’s good to know he was making a nice living while my family was starving” fucking GET HIM NICK. Damn I wish Miguel had been in the room for that. He deserved to hear that one. Ruthless.

I do not know how I missed this the first time around but holy shit Nick asked to be removed from the case. Nicholas Torres- a man who does not back down. A man who bullied his way into finishing his first ever case with this team that he was arguably way too close to that one too. This is how much pain Miguel brings him. A man who does not quit, not in his vocabulary - was so pissed at getting sent home back when Reeves died, he asks to get sidelined. He actually asks to get sidelined. Holy shit Miguel did a number on Nick and I mean we knew this but 🥺😭😭 poor bby. No wonder you don’t trust yourself in a serious relationship. It’s not the girl you’re worried about it’s you. You don’t think you’re capable of staying, you’re terrified you’ll be just like your dad and leave. once again, you’ve seen the similarities with trivial things and so this just cements your fear of failing at commitment. And this is Nick in just so much pain he asks to step back. oof. I do love Leon stepping into a slight fatherly role for Nick right there though, he shows his support, his pride in Nick and in that moment I think Nick realizes while his father by blood is shit, he’s got several other strong role models in his life that care and that’s why he agrees to work with him.

Nick’s smarts comment about leaving the note behind 🤣 oh classic Torres move. Also do yourself a favor and pause it on Ellie’s reaction to him. GOLD hahaha she’s like ooo-kay did you really feel the need to say that, let’s not. Honestly I think I’ve given this look to my husband almost daily. They married y’all.

So married that she overhears Miguel trying to talk to Nick and her hackles raise!!! She’s like hold the fuck up do not traumatize my baby even more, Nick do you need me??? Because I will get you out of this, I will be here for you, I will fight this man, just say the damn word!!!! And Nick ugh, his look. They can communicate with just a simple look, he knows all that she would do for him in that moment and still nods her off, but that tiny bit of gratitude is present. Then we find out that yes Grace is really good at guessing theories “in order to keep his young family safe, it means he has to leave. Of course he can’t *tell* them why he has to leave so that they continue to stay innocent and safe. So he plays it like he’s a deadbeat dude who was “too young” to be a father and is just now realizing it and leaves his wife, little daughter & son behind. Flash forward thirty years and the NCIS case leads them to him. A piece of evidence pops up with his alias, they go knocking down doors to interrogate a potential suspect (Nick’s father) before our lovely CIA agent interfere and claims he’s innocent because he’s a CI…” like DAMN, I’m good. Hahaha any ways the reason I bring this up is because I feel like I predicted/analyzed Nick’s feelings really well back then in this theory and after seeing his expressions, they hold true. Nick is just absolutely warring with himself during this explanation, searching for anything to confirm his dad truly is a deadbeat (and yes he is still absolutely a piece of shit for what he did, but there’s a “good” reason for his leaving and that’s what makes it so- hard.) and as I said when I first broke this down, Nick understands undercover work and his dad (being the POS he is) brings that up to Nick. Like he should “get” it because wouldn’t he do the same thing since he’s in that life? But here’s where (and Nick doesn’t totally realize it yet) Nick and Miguel are different. Because Nick came back, Nick stayed. He stayed y’all and he says it here but he does not realize the implications of his words quite yet. He is NOT the same as Miguel. Yeah he doesn’t like to sit in chairs but he has stayed. He has stayed through some tough shit too but he’s stayed nonetheless. More than Miguel could ever fucking say, that’s for sure. So yes, when Nick has the come to Jesus and realizes that he is not the same as his dad and he can and will stay? Damn I can’t wait for that moment. Also I wanted to slap Miguel when he called Nick “mijo” because BITCH YOU DO NOT GET TO CALL HIM THAT. YOU DO NOT GET TO CALL HIM YOUR SON. NO. “I’m not perfect but I did the best I could” well fuck you too Miguel because look at this broken five year old boy inside a thirty five year old man’s body. Does that look like the product of a “best you could”?? Does he look “ok” to you??? Fuck you.

But yes here’s my take on where Nick is at: how do you forgive someone you’ve despised for thirty years once you know they “didn’t have a choice” (even though it will always feel like they had a choice or they could’ve explained it to you even if you were only five) and left in reality token you safe and give you a better chance at life? How do you reconcile the real dad and the one you lived with in your head for so long?? How???

And then you’re stuck still reeling from the night before and the bomb that was dropped and the reconciliation you’re attempting to your dad bringing in the ONE THING. The ONE THING he promised to bring home in the morning thirty years prior. How the actual fuck does one come back from that. Can I give another big FUCK YOU to Miguel Torres? Because seriously??? Why do you ever think that’s ok??? Hey I promised my kid I’d bring him hojaldres in the morning for breakfast thirty years ago so may as well make good on that promise right, only thirty years late that’s totally fine right? He won’t tell the difference right?

Fuck you, Miguel.

And they’re still clearly Nick’s favorite because he’s brought Jimmy to a restaurant specifically for them and that just makes my heart break for the man he had to become without a father. He still held onto that love for them even though they were probably always associated with a horrible, horrible memory of being abandoned 🥺🥺 god damn Nick you’re so broken I’m so sorry.

Ellie is still as supportive as ever and good god we clearly have lost all pretense of personal space at this point, what is her we don’t know her isn’t this normal for coworkers? But this conversation implies he called her after his talk with his dad and ugh yesssss 😩❤️ I still think he called her immediately after leaving the building, talked the entire car ride home and while getting ready for bed, needing the comfort of her voice on the other end of the line as he worked through his whirlwind of emotions and tried to come down off the cliff he felt himself on. All pretenses of a bad boy with a mysterious flare forever gone, his heart is open for her to see and he doesn’t give two shits about it anymore. But Ellie does a damn good job of girlfriend duties here and not only supports him but also gently prods him to see if he can maybe one day have a relationship with his father. The parallels she brings up makes him think (and also makes him look at her lips twice 👀 he’s just so close to her how could he not I mean right 😅) and I love that she’s still being v supportive but also trying to help him grow.

And then Ellie giving Nick the option to go with his dad or go to the other location because she’s not going to push anything on him he doesn’t want and then when he chooses the embassy to avoid his dad her reaction had me laughing 🤣 but she respects it. And yet shortly after Miguel tries to team up with Nick and Ellie hears it from the other side of the bullpen, immediately all ears to step in if he wants to avoid him again despite giving him flack for it earlier. Nick can sense her worry and support and this is the moment he takes her advice in just a tiny step and accepts teaming up with his dad. But OMG KILL ME WHEN NICK THINKS HIS DAD IS DEAD BEFORE HE GETS TO TRY AT A RELATIONSHIP AGAIN. HIS WHISPERED “papa’s” I CAAAAAN’T.

Ugh and then his last conversation with his dad while Ellie is checking on him constantly. It’s just too much, that little boy is back, desperately hoping for his dad to stick around. And Ellie is just so happy she can’t contain it for him and it’s perfect. He walks right to her, her hand on his back because they just need to touch each other after such a heavy couple of days and Nick echoes her advice back at her because he’s showing he listens and he values her insight and I just love it.

AND THEN MIGUEL HAS COME TO RIP MY HEART OUT BECAUSE HE’S A PIECE OF SHIT REMEMBER.

My poor bby Nick’s face when he realized his dad LIES AND LEAVES. REMEMBER. HE LIES AND LEAVES. God Wilmer killed it because Nick is literally on the verge of tears and my heart breaks and then yes he goes to Gibbs to see his pseudo-father who he then realizes is more of a father figure than Miguel will ever be and hell that’s okay but STILL.

I will end this WWR with a I love supportive girlfriend Ellie and another big Fuck You to Miguel Torres.

Goodnight.

#ellick #ncis #wwr #18x12 #there's a lot of yelling #there's a lot of swearing #there's just a lot yall #this ep was angst central and you know me 😅#enjooooooy #hopefully i can get 18x13 out tomorrow before 18x14 lol

39 notes · View notes

flodaya · 4 years ago

Note

Hi!! I was just wondering is episode 6 your favourite because it was the episode with the most kieutou content or because of something else?

i mean yes and also not entirely? I feel like out of all the episodes it had the best overall arc and the best execution, it set up all its themes and it came to a conclusion by the end of the episode, and i was on the edge of my seat the entire week

i thought the writing and directing was wonderful, one of druck’s current *weakest point* imo is not letting a scene play out organically but rather have a set plan for each clip and it’s like working off a checklist but episode 6 felt like the opposite imo, it had a lot of these calmer moments, the entire date clip was basically just us getting to know these characters and how they work as a pair while also having some heavy foreshadowing, so it was neither pointless nor did it feel too expositional

the thursday clip is one of the most nerve-wracking experience i’ve ever had, i was literally so anxious about what was going to happen (made even worse by the fact that i was working all day so i knew something had happened but i didn’t know what). and it ended up being wonderfully in character, a heart-wrenchingly sad clip and i love every minute of it, from fatou silently humming and succeeding in her plan to simply memorize the equation, to the pressuring video game music while she was trying to solve the math problem, to the end when she was crying and finally for the first time letting out her frustration about feeling stupid and not enough for kieu my. the clip was so cathartic. seeing how everyone re-lived and shared their own experience afterwards made me so emotional because that is what skam is supposed to do, we are supposed to finally be able to talk about these topics that society is making us feel ashamed of, in this case how we aren’t failing the school system but how the school system is failing us

and of course the last clip, what a loving pay off for a bittersweet week, it felt so wonderful to see a show not drag this drama out, any other show would have waited at least a few days for kieu my to climb up that roof, but druck just said “nope, it would be so weird for her not to go immediately and confess her feelings” so they just gave us a happy ending to the episode and made fatou not suffer in her self-pity alone for long

it’s also the tiny things, like the way kieu my opened up about her internalized biphobia which was a wonderful monologue, the moment when kieu my and fatou bonded over them both being somewhat bilingual and being second/third generation immigrants, the birthmark call-back, the way these two girls were allowed to be really physically into each other in a way wlw couples rarely get to be on tv, it was the completely unexpected late night clip of kieu my being a wonderful supportive (almost) girlfriend, and one of the most romantic things ever said on tv “du gehst mir einfach nicht aus dem kopf / you’re just always on my mind”

tl;dr i just loved it, not just the happy fluffy kieutou parts, but all around the experience of watching it live, and even rewatching it as a whole is a rollercoaster of emotions but in the best possible way

#druck #druck 6x06 supremacy #ask #my posts #druck season 6

85 notes · View notes

ayellowcurtain · 4 years ago

Text

Could you do an elu fic where Eliott is coming out of a depressive episode and wants Lucas to make love to him inside him because he needs reassurance that Lucas still wants him and finds him attractive even after being down for weeks?

Lucas keeps waiting for the time he’ll be able to see Eliott again, it’s weird to not live under the same roof as him. Eliott explicitly asked Lucas to stay away and Lucas shouldn’t take it personally but it’s hard when the person you love is looking at you like you’re the most annoying thing, triggering them into getting worse.

So he’s waiting, trying not to think about how Eliott is doing every second of every day.

The second he recognizes the phone number being from Eliott’s parents’ place, Lucas picks up right away, afraid of what he might hear. His brain always thinks of the worst-case scenario.

“Lucas?”

“Hi! Hi, Mrs. Demaury. Is everything okay?” Lucas pauses the movie he was trying to watch on his computer to distract himself.

“Yes, yes, sweetheart. He’s...still in bed but he’s been asking of you so I was wondering if you wanted to come to see him…”

Lucas lies on his bed, pulling his covers over his head. That’s all he wants but he doesn’t want to cross Eliott’s boundaries. What he wants and what his mom understands he wants can be two very different things.

“Are you sure it’s a good idea?”

“Of course. I promise that if that wasn't the case I wouldn’t have called.” She sighs and Lucas finds a little bit of confidence in her tiredness. It’s horrible to think that but if she was overly optimistic he would feel that her call was just a big red flag, crossing Eliott’s wishes to get her way.

“Okay. I’m on my way.”

Lucas closes his computer and rushes to put on some sneakers and a jacket, not carrying how terrible he looks with his comfortable sweatpants and an old hoodie.

He doesn’t care about the looks he gets while sitting on the bus, nervously tapping his feet constantly, biting his nails.

It feels like forever but it’s only been two weeks since they haven’t properly seen each other. Lucas thinks he might find a completely different Eliott even though it wasn’t that long.

“He’s taking a shower!” Lucas feels Eliott’s mom jumping a little during their welcoming hug, so excited with such a mundane task. And Lucas feels it too, looks at her, struggling to keep his tears. When Eliott is down, the very least thing he wants to do is take a shower. So this is great, amazing news.

“He knows that I was coming?” She nods her head, still smiling but clearly tired from stressing so much. Lucas steps aside, kicking his shoes off while she locks the door.

“I told him when I found him in the bathroom.”

“Do you think he’ll eat if I make us something?” Eliott loves Lucas’ food. He’s no chef but it’s one of their things, and Lucas is more than happy to cook for Eliott any day. And his mom is probably exhausted and in with no desire to cook - it runs in the family, the lack of interest for cooking - and she sighs so loudly, dropping her hands against her sides that it makes Lucas laugh.

“Oh my god. I know why he loves you so much.”

She puts her hand in his back and leads him to the kitchen, the fanciest kitchen Lucas has ever seen.

“Feel free to do anything you want, my love. The pantry is right behind that door,” she points to the big door right next to the industrial oven, “And I’m gonna get him some clean clothes.”

It feels like they’re planning a sad surprise, not sure how Eliott is but so excited he’s a little more responsive.

She runs around the place, grabbing clean clothes right out of the dryer, still warm and comfortable, and runs back down the hall, where Lucas can hear the water running, imagining Eliott having to lower his head to fit under the showerhead. Lucas misses him so much it feels like a first blind date that Eliott’s mom is setting for them.

He decides on some cheesy, delicious pasta that comforts him on his bad days. For once he can make it properly, using the expensive cheese he can’t afford but Eliott’s parents can. He makes almost the whole bag because he’s also starving and if Eliott doesn’t eat, his parents can enjoy it.

It’s so nerve recking that demands Lucas’ full attention, trying to find all the ingredients, trying to not let the pasta overcook and make it in the perfect time that when Eliott is done with his shower, the pasta will still be warm, the cheese will still be soft.

Suddenly, there’s a shadow next to him and he looks, finding the love of his life right there, leaning against the counter slowly like he’s sore from working out too much, unable to move normally.

“Hi…” Lucas tries not to be too loud but it’s hard when he’s this nervous to be around Eliott again, being seen by him.

Eliott smiles, his hair still damp and not brushed or styled at all, the tips falling forward a little bit, “Hello.”

“Are you hungry?” Eliott nods his head, looking at the pan, Lucas almost ready to turn it off and wait for it to cool down for a moment.

“A little bit.” His eyes are smaller than usual, a little bit red and puffy but Lucas doesn’t ask. Eliott wouldn’t be here, standing and talking to him if he was still angry. So Lucas does what he’s been desperate to do, holding the wooden spoon with his other hand so he can run his fingers through Eliott’s soft hair, putting it to the side so he can properly see his boyfriend completely. Eliott smiles and closes his eyes when Lucas slips his hand down, touching his still flushed cheeks.

“I’m sorry.”

Every time Eliott apologizes, his voice is so heavy with embarrassment, shame, and frustration that it makes Lucas want to hug him so tight and never let go. It makes him forget how hurt he was when they were fighting, every time.

“It’s okay.”

Eliott puts his hand over Lucas’ and slowly they put their hands down and Eliott moves on to do some other thing. Lucas follows him with his eyes to find his mom behind the island, setting the dining table for the three of them, clearly going a little too far with her limits but she’s looking at Eliott and she doesn’t find any extreme despair for sitting to eat with her and Lucas so she smiles and continues, always moving quickly.

They sit and talk while Lucas is putting his pasta in three bowls, two bigger than the third one and while he puts them all in front of each chair, Eliott’s mom rushes to the fridge to get them some cold water.

She acts how Lucas is doing with college and how is his mom doing and they make small talk over dinner, happy to hear Eliott when he makes a comment or two. Lucas starts gathering all the dirty dishes but she stops him, smiling.

“Please, don’t you worry about the dishes! You made us some delicious dinner, the least I can do is put this in the dishwasher and give you two the rest of the night off.”

Lucas looks at Eliott, worried he might be overstaying but Eliott smiles at him and gets up, grabbing Lucas’ hand so they can go to his bedroom.

He’s in awe that he’ll get to spend a few more hours with Eliott, probably watching some movie, with Eliott lying his head on Lucas’ chest but he’s caught by surprise when Eliott pulls him closer and kisses him the second they’re safe inside his bedroom, one arm going around Lucas’ waist, his long and often distracting fingers pressing against the small of his back under his shirt.

“Eliott…” Lucas hisses, feeling his whole body instantly respond, melting against Eliott’s touch, “We should...watch a movie.”

He tries to be rational but Eliott starts kissing his cheek, down his neck and it’s hard to say no to that, ever. Eliott lifts his shirt slowly and Lucas should keep his arms down, say they should just chill for tonight but he’s already shirtless, watching Eliott kiss his chest, his hand in the back of his neck.

Eliott walks them to the bed and Lucas lets himself be selfish, kissing his boyfriend until he gets out of breath.

He’s always with a one-second delay, still in awe that he has Eliott back, kissing his navel while pushing his pants down his thighs, carefully pushing down his calves. Lucas wasn’t expecting this eagerness and no matter how much he loves it, he can’t stop worrying that easily either.

“Eliott...Eliott.” He holds his face with both his hands, really needing a minute of actual conversation to make sure they should be doing this.

Eliott grunts, lying on top of him with his whole weight, pressing his forehead against Lucas’ chest before looking up. Lucas feels a little exposed being already naked with Eliott still wearing his soft sweatpants, lying in between his legs but it’s the type of exposure that feels like he’s in a rollercoaster, taking his breath away.

Eliott looks up at him and Lucas feels his own heart beating so fast, so happy to be with Eliott again, holding his hair to the side so they can see each other.

“I miss you. I miss us. I don’t want to lose you, for you to find someone better, who you’re attracted to and doesn’t give you more problems-”

Lucas pulls him up and presses their lips together.

“Don’t say that. You know it won’t happen.”

“It could. I’m a mess, Lucas, and you’re so fucking beautiful.”

He wants to say how he couldn’t care less about the rest of the world if Eliott is not with him but he’s faster, kissing Lucas again, pressing their hips together, pulling a moan out of Lucas.

“I want you, please. To feel that you still want me. No condoms.” Eliott pants against his lips and Lucas can’t control how it makes his back arch even more, looking to keep their bodies as close together as possible. He nods his head and rolls them in bed, getting rid of Eliott’s sweatpants and underwear too, needing to show him how crazy Lucas is about Eliott and only him.

#skam france #elu fic #lucas lallemant #eliott demaury #elu #lucas x eliott

67 notes · View notes