#THIS BOOK IS SO PRETTY I'M STILL NOT OVER IT
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because adding on personal stories is my thing, here's mine!
And it kind of turned into a rant.
Anyways, tldr; found a poster of asexuality on the wall in my high school. I then learned a lot about it, and consider myself half in the closet/up the sleeve.
People keep trying to ship me with other people, like I'm a character in their favourite TV show/book series/movie series. I don't really need or want people to do that, I just want to excitedly talk about the events of my day/life, both about what happened in the day with people or telling other people about what I did.
The Story
So, my high school decided, as something the GSA (Gay-Straight Alliance) was going to do, was post different sexualities and their definitions on the walls of the halls in the school.
It was super cool, because I got to learn about all these different sexualities! My grades Kindergarten (there's 2 years of Kindergarten for me) to Grade 7 were in a Catholic school.
Now, I'd like to point out that my Catholic school actually had a class called Family Life or something like that, which apparently led to me asking about all the details on how babies are created in Grade 1.
That school system was super on the "we're teaching our kids all about pregnancy". I remember in grade 1 they had us start doing the math (without reaching us about multiplication yet), about how it starts with 1 cell. Then 2. Then 4. And we had to do that for a bit. And then they were like "yeah, and it's still smaller than the tip of this pin".
BUT, they didn't talk about LGBTQIA+. Which, yeah, sucks, but it also meant I didn't know anything about it.
{Minor side note, but my first time hearing the word 'gay' was it being used as a slur in Grade 9 (public school, different province) because I had a bestie and we were close. And my bullies were determined to believe that anyone I hung out close to, I was dating. And therefore, not a lot of friends at the time. So my mom then had to explain what it is, and how it's not a bad thing}
Anyways, I'm walking down the hall, and I liked to read the different sexuality/gender signs because it was cool.
Then, in the hall, I pause, re-reading the poster.
Pretty sure all it said was this:
ASEXUAL
Not sexually attracted to other people
Or something like that, I can't remember. And I just paused. And I thought it over. I'm pretty sure there was more, and it also defined aromanticism (?) as well, which was eh.
And it's just like: "Wait, that's a thing?" All the other sexualities I had seen, were all super like "okay, yeah, sounds about right".
They had polysexual, pansexual, bisexual, maybe homosexual. Transgender. I think they had agender or non binary. Probably cis-gender (to explain what it means). I can't remember them all, but they were cool to learn about!
And there I stood for a moment, replaying every moment of my life. Every time I lost a friend because people starting "shipping" me with them, and they didn't like me like that (and I'm going "of course you don't, we're friends"). Things started to slowly click.
I did start to tell some of my friends at the time "hey, I think I might be asexual". I didn't run around telling everyone that.
I learned a lot from tumblr and facebook. I remember finding a site called asexual . org or . com or something. I remember seeing mention of people coming out as ace by saying they had a card up their sleeve.
Then I learned about so many more sexualities and about romanticies (okay, I'm not up on all the terms).
For the longest of time, my mom insisted that I not use ace or aro as my labels, because she wanted me to be open about changing in the future. But that's the thing.
The more I ventured into the community, the more I saw (because by that point, I was moving onto reddit) how open and accepting the ace community can be. I mean, tell them that A stands for Allies and they'll be storming the castle...
But I loved how they loved and supported each other. How they were all "you know, if this is a temporary thing, at least know that people accepted you for who you were. Maybe you were seeking shelter temporarily. It's okay. Just don't run around and accuse other aces / aros / agenders of being in a phase".
So, I had to use grey ace and grey aro when around family (which kinda hurt, but anyways).
These days? I'm not super open (in real life) about it. I mean, if anyone asks, or I'll drop hints about it, all good. Most people in my life know that I'm aro ace.
I used to use the labels as a way to keep people I suspected of having crushes on me, to keep them from asking me out. No idea if they actually did, or just people messed me up enough not to recognize f/m friendships, but anyways.
I still sometimes confuse a squish (as far as I can tell, basically a crush, but you want them as a friend not as a romantic/sexual partner) for an actual crush, which is incredibly confusing. But no, it's just a squish.
I've mostly managed to cut people out of my life who constantly ship me in real life.
Ever seen those posts from fandoms about people shipping 2 characters together for a romantic relationship? Yeah, that was me for like, Grades 10 through my community college and even my first couple/few years working in a professional environment (probably should have gone to HR/a manager, oops).
No joke, pretty much a conversation I had with a friend. I should mention this happened when I was going through school for being a developer/programmer/dev. A suspected diversity thing the college was doing, they had all the women in the program in each class. That meant 1 woman per class. Each group had the same schedule.
"Hey, so you've been talking a lot about *enter key*. So, are you dating?"
"Um, no?"
"Why not?"
"Because I'm not interested in him that way. I'm aro and ace, I told you that before. *has to explain the whole thing again because friend is confused*. We're friends."
"But you talk about him all the time."
"I also talk about *shift key* too."
"Oh yeah, so, are you crushing on him too?"
"NO!"
Like, my friend, chill, I was one gal in a class of like 20 dudes. Of course I'm going to make friends. Of course when talking about my day and what I did, I'm going to talk about the people I was with and what we all did.
This conversation pretty much repeated every time I saw her. I hung out with maybe 5-7 guys pretty regularly, about 2-3 different groups (of 2-3 guys) that I floated between to hang out with between classes.
I once vented angrily to another friend about said friend above, and their response (a guy) was "oh, yeah, you and *enter key* talk a lot. You should date"
Like... you missed the point. I do NOT like *enter key* that way. I like hanging out with him. I like hanging out with our mutual friends. I feel relatively safe around them.
I got an "oh, well what about *space key*".
Anyways, tldr; found a poster of asexuality on the wall in my high school. I then learned a lot about it, and consider myself half in the closet/up the sleeve.
People keep trying to ship me with other people, like I'm a character in their favourite TV show/book series/movie series. I don't really need or want people to do that, I just want to excitedly talk about the events of my day/life, both about what happened in the day with people or telling other people about what I did.
I need to prove a point to my mom. Reblog if you can realize you’re asexual/aromantic in your teens.
#asexual#personal story#quit shipping the asexuals into relationships#quit shipping the aromantics into relationships#quit shipping people into relationships
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Imagine a big 2 metre piece of meat being scared of a little 146 cm woman. Yes, yes, he's terrified of you. Not that he's quite as scared of you as you think, he's just too scared to court you. He really doesn't want to antagonise the British, you know, you're their little thing, biting like a hyena. One time Ghost was really scared of you, you're his favourite punk. But that's not all he's afraid of, he's afraid of your rejection or the disgust on your face. So he runs away from you. Every time you have to work with his team, he makes everything seem normal. But deep down he's burning up like a little boy going through puberty. Which annoys him to no end. Horangi saw her in the helicopter when he was in front of König.
You exchange glances, shy and gentle. A small, pensive smile forms on your lips as you write in your book. Nobody noticed, but Horangi did. Perhaps because now it's more obvious that König has asked him how to woo you.
‘Oh König, it's you, I'm surprised to see you. You say, trying not to break your neck.’
He says nothing, just admires your beautiful eyes. You feel a little intimidated with his big blue eyes gliding over you. From the flower in his hands. Pretty wild flowers, like you, he says.
‘Flowers for you. He said simply.’
You couldn't hear the panicked tone under her hood. God certainly blessed her.
‘I can see that, they've still got soil on their roots. He thought he was going to die when he saw you smiling at his clumsiness.’
You take them in your soft hands. Then he went back to Horangi's side. Who is massaging his temples in frustration at his clumsiness with the ladies.
#I originally wrote it for my oc#but I thought first of my reader friends#cod mwii#call of duty#cod modern warfare#cod mw2#cod x reader#cod fanfic#call of duty modern warfare#call of duty fandom#call of duty fanfic#call of duty oc#cod#konig cod#konig mw2#cod konig#konig fic#konig call of duty#konig x reader#konig x you#cod x you#cod x y/n#konig x female reader#konig x y/n#konig x oc#konig fluff#konig fanfiction#cod fic#cod fluff#cod fandom
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What happens the morning after Gale climbs up into John’s bunk in flight school? 🤭
oh my God I was waiting for someone to ask this.... let's just say Gale's having homosexual thoughts and Johns trying to figure out the meaning of the word
----
Gale tried not to think about it.
He tried not to think about what he had done, what he had so foolishly done because he was caught up in the heat of the moment, caught up in his stupid queer feelings for John. He tried not to think about how John tasted, how he felt heavy in his mouth, tried not to think about the salty bitterness of his come.
He also tried not to think about how John seemed to want him to stay, he seemed like he was reaching for Gale when he pulled away, but Gale was definitely reading into that.
He said they would talk in the morning, but Gale decided he was going to go on a run. To try and forget about it, he reasoned. He did about three laps around the base before the thoughts of John's breathy moans clenched fists came back to him, and he finally decided to go back to the barracks. John was likely gone, he probably had missed him. At, least, that's what he hopes.
But John was sitting at his desk, reading Gale's book of poems with his eyebrows furrowed and Gale knew that this conversation had to happen at some point.
"Morning," Gale says, his voice thick and a little scratchy. He winces at the thought of what could have caused it.
John gives him a tight lipped smile, one that conveys he has a thousand things to say but no idea how to say it and it's ripping Gale apart inside.
"So..." John starts but Gale just interrupts him.
"I'm sorry, John. I shouldn't have done something like that, it was foolish and wrong and I understand if you want nothing to do with me anymore. I can move out, we can never talk again, I'm just so fucking sorry, John," Gale pleads.
John pauses, mouth hung open in slight confusion as he looks at Gale. He doesn't seem angry or upset, like Gale thought he would be, he just seems so conflicted.
"What? Buck, no, I swear I'm not mad, really. I'm just... I don't understand it because I liked it. I liked it a lot... when you did it," John says and hell must have frozen over because for the first time in John's life he looks embarrassed to admit that, a pretty flush painting John's cheeks pink.
It's Gale's turn to balk, completely taken aback by the tender confession. His mind is spinning. John liked it, he liked it. He didn't hate Gale or think he was a no good queer for what he had done.
"You liked it?" Gale asks carefully and John shakes his head, scrubbing a hand down his face and sighing.
"Yeah? I did, Buck, I liked it when you did it," John admits.
Gale walks closer to John, slowly, until he's standing right in front of him and has to peer down to look at him.
"What does that mean for us, John?" Gale asks, voice barely above a whisper.
One of John's hands experimentally comes up to hold Gale's hand, tries interlacing their fingers and sighs, expression still confused.
"I want to try it, I want to try doing this... whatever this is... with you. You've got me hooked, Gale," John admits, and that's when Gale leans down to kiss him.
It's something tender, just the pressing of lips together with their fingers interlaced, Gale has to bend down a little bit to slot their lips together but it feels good, it feels correct. John's lips are warm and there's a slight scratch of stubble from the scraggly mustache he's been trying to grow, but everything feels right, it feels good, and Gale can't help but smile.
He pulls away and gives John a sweet smile, which he returns and squeezes Gale's hand between his.
"Yeah, let's try it," Gale admits and he leans down to press another tender kiss to John's lips.
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I was talking to my partner about how I think the main reason "heroic" gyaru characters are so trendy in anime right now, is likely because the actual fashion trend is over now, meaning they're no longer "scary" for being girls that rebel against Japanese beauty standards and act "rough". I do remember a time where gyaru characters showed up a lot less frequently but were generally portrayed as aggressive dumb sluts when they did, you know the drill... I remember there was even an afterward in the sailor moon manga where Naoko described herself as being scared when approached by a gyaru because that was the culture of the time. They were considered scary delinquents.
But now that the trend is officially over, anime can look back and decide "that was pretty cool actually! maybe they weren't all dumb sluts! Maybe stereotypes are bad! Maybe those delinquents were cool! maybe it would be great to have a sexy gyaru girlfriend!" (it does fail to address that even if a girl slept around that's fine, all the gyaru characters portrayed as good in anime are generally chaste, which generally gets a big whawhwhwhwhwa reaction, you can't judge a book my it's cover it seems!!! okay but why are judging the book to begin with.)
like don't get me wrong i love gyaru characters i love delinquent girls with all my heart and am glad to see them getting their flowers even it's too little too late. But it's interesting.
There is one big exception to the "animanga portayed gyarus as bad and dumb" at the height of the trend (and probably a lot of smaller ones but I'm talking in broad strokes) which is a shoujo manga called Gals! The main "gal character" is portrayed as struggling in school and a little ditsy, but overall plenty smart. She's a role model! She's a gal for justice. I've been meaning to read/watch it so I can't say much more but:
When she was in elementary school, she was enthusiastic about becoming a police officer, but quit the ambition after learning that she won't be able to dye her hair or wear her favorite accessories.
Being a gyaru saved her from becoming a cop, thank god.
There's some other big examples I found are also shoujo: Peach Girl and Shiritsu! Bijinzaka Joshi Koukou...
Sukeban were considered a similar delinquent subculture rebelling against norms, and I don't know enough about manga scene then to how Sukeban were overall portrayed, but it also interests me that the most prominent positive portrayal of them was also a shoujo manga-- in this case Sukeban Deka/Keiji. This was in 1975 when sukeban was very much still a thing. And arguably, that manga is why a lot of Sukeban heroes/nice girls show up in media today despite being so incredibly anachronistic.
(there's something to be said about how both delinquents being "good" comes with ties to the police, though with Saki it's more complicated because law enforcement is also depicted as incredibly shady and actually blackmails her).
I don't know what my point here all is, just that it's an interesting but unsurprising trend of rebellious women only getting sympathy when they're no longer active and no longer perceived as a threat, but the exceptions of sympathetic portrayal specifically when the trend is popular coming from shoujo manga...well it's only two examples so it could be a coincidence, but it's interesting. I think a very likely reason is the mangaka some girls who read manga might fall into those countercultures so they should have a story for them, or the idea rebellion might be more enticing for girls even if they are straight laced...
(actually it could be i don't know what im talking about i might delete this later)
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Birthdays
Dicks starts a tradition, for every first birthday one of his loved ones spends with him, he gives them a part of his heart.
Jason: Dick isn't there for Jasons first birthday at the manor because well... he isn't exactly welcome at the manor but he snuck Jason his number weeks in advance to make sure Jay would be at his crappy apartment the day after his birthday. And he gives Jason a collection of poetry his mother had written while they had traveled around the world. He had memorised all of them many years ago but he wanted to give Jason something tangible to connect them together. He might not be related to Bruce, he might not be Jason's brother by law or blood but Jason carries the robin name and Mary Graysons words so he is Dick's brother no matter what Bruce wants to say about it. Some of the poems aren't in English but they all flow beautifully and are written in the same black swirling script. Jason cries real tears and clings to Dick because this isn't something he can say he's had before. When Jason died, Dick took it from Jays room because he didn't allow it to be part of a mausoleum for his brother he wasn't going to let it be part of one for his brother.
After Jason comes back to life, and he's left Gotham he finds that familiar notebook in a safe-house he was sure Nightwing didn't know about with a post-it note on top reading.
I'm so glad you're back little wing
-DG
Tim: Dick and Alfred celebrate Tims birthday alone and Dick knows that Tim is struggling with who he is and his place in the family. Jason needed connection Tim needed purpose. Tim needed something to do to prove his value so on Tim's 13th birthday Dick teaches him the quadruple summersault. he teaches Tim the Full-Twisting Shaposhnikova his mother's favourite move on the bars and the moors. They spend all day practicing together until Tim can do a loose approximation of as many of his parent's signature moves as they can squeeze into one day. And every time Dick sees Tim for the next two months he asks for a spotter and they spend two odd hours practicing the moves. Tim never ends up incorporating the Flying Grayson's moves into his fighting style but he starts to follow Dicks habit of getting up high when he's stressed and working out all his frustration by practicing those moves over and over again until his body is pleasantly sore. Sometimes when Dick is on undercover missions, Tim will do one of the routines to help with the fact he cant reach his brother.
Damian: canonically Dick gave Damian a trapeze bar but that was long into his Robin tenure I believe it was after the Lazarus island debacle. So I think that by the. time Damians 11th birthdays rolls around, Dick and Damian have a pretty solid relationship and the first thing Dick would have given Damian was his father's unfinished sketchbook which contained the original designs for the robin costume. This book is Thick and its not like a modern sketchbook no, John Grayson found this leather bound monstrosity in Egypt and paid pennies for it. Its so dense that its filled with about 3 years of drawings and still has more the half of its pages a yellowed blank canvas. Damian, who is naturally talented at art and was encouraged by Dick to try and find non-vigilante methods of enjoyment has already taken up drawing months prior but this gets him to start practicing with fervour. He tries hard to mimic John Grayson's art style before eventually giving up at trying to create identical pieces and just incorporates various techniques the man used. For Dicks birthday that year he gifts him a portrait of his late parents but unlike the ones he's made for the manor, Dick's parents are in motion, with his John Grayson's grin stolen right off his sons face and Mary Grayson's boisterous laugh as she crashed into her husbands side could be heard in the famous cackle of her son.
now I wanted to do Cass or Steph or (maybe even Babs or Kori if I wanted to pivot from family to romance) but I genuinely the girl who has Mary Graysons wedding ring would
Donna Troy: Dick Gave it to her when they were still wonder girl and boy wonder. They were 14 and it was right after they had started the titans, back when it was a kids club more than a hero organisation. It was accompanied with a whispered confession of his identity, an identity the rest of their team wouldn't learn for another to 2 years. She wears it around her neck with a simple gold chain. She didn't take it off during her wedding or funeral, she was buried in it and came back with its barely there weight a comfort against base of her neck.
#nightwing#batman#jason todd#tim drake#robin#batfam#comics#damian wayne#dick grayson#donna troy#Dick and donna troy are my beloveds someone give me fic recs#dc comics#dc universe#dcu
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Sneak peek of my other new Fic, Apology Tour Time Loop 👀
Blitz slams on the light switch with his fist and sighs, walking over and slumping onto the couch with the tablecloth from the party falling onto the floor. Instead he grabs his softest horse blanket and bundles up in it, curled up as his tail grabs the remote.
He turns on the TV and flips through the channels. His eyes dry from the tears he shed on the way home. He blinks, trying to create more to soothe his eyes. Tonight went horribly. He shouldn't have talked to him while he was drunk. And now-was there ever a chance again?
He fucks everything up so often, he wishes he got do-overs. As many as it takes. Satan knows he needs them. He dissociates from the reality show he turned on and hovers his thumbs over the text message box for 'Stols'. He sighs and puts it down. Then winces and picks it up, looking anxiously at the memes he sent. Stupid, stupid.
He types, "I hop we cun talk 4 reel soon. Sory 4 tha way I am". Send. He puts the phone face down and drifts to sleep to loud laugh tracks on the screen.
Waking up to the bright red sun shining in his eyes, he groans and blinks, eyes finally getting some reprieve. He grabs his phone from the ground and looks at the time, it's 7am. Sighing again, he swipes to the messages of 'Stols' but-his message from last night isn't there.
Did he dream that he wrote it? Did he forgot to send it? He looks in his clipboard and it isn't there either. Frustrated, he sits up and starts scrolling through the news. Just then Loona comes out of her room, still applying the rest of her makeup on her way to the bathroom.
"You're up early for a weekend", Blitz says, looking back at her. She squints her eyes.
"Weekend? Blitz, it's Friday", she says, walking into the bathroom and closing the door. Blitz blinks for a second. She has to be wrong, right? Friday was yesterday. The apology tour, the party. All of it happened yesterday.
Sure enough, he looks at his phone and it's still Friday. But that's impossible?! He struggles to put on his shoes and gloves, and still has his previous (or today's?) clothes on. Running out the door before Loona is even out of the bathroom.
"Blitz?" She asks, then just shrugs.
He steps on the petal hard, driving fast over to the palace. The sun is out just like Friday. The air is the same temperature as Friday. He jumps over the wall and (doesn't) fall in the plants, running up to Stolas who's in his chair, reading. Just like Friday.
Blitz just stands there a moment, fiddling with his hands. Stolas slowly lowers his book. Then sighs.
"Blitz. What is it you want?" Blitz just looks at him wide eyed and blinks. He stutters, "U-uh", trying to remember what he said, "I want to earn my way to earth so uh, get your tight feathered ass out of that lawn chair and into the bedroom so I can fuck it?" He asks it like a question and Stolas chuckles a little.
"Wow, I'm sure a statement such as that would have had me swooning by now", he gets up and walks toward the veranda. Blitz circles his fingers, "That uh, was a pretty bad way to say it but uh-"
Stolas, "Blitz, why are you here? Is everything alright?", He crosses his arms.
Blitz lets out a breath. "Not really. I'm really confused". Stolas makes a curt laugh, "that makes both of us".
#helluva boss#blitzø#helluva boss blitzo#blitz#stolitz#stolas#helluva boss stolas#helluva boss stolitz#helluva stolitz#angst#time loop#timeline#post apology tour#helluva boss fanfiction#helluva boss fan fiction#helluva boss fandom
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Details in Stan's letter that still haunt me
(how long will I continue thinking about a two page letter that's technically not even that long because Stan's handwriting is fricking large? .....you don't need to worry about that.)
The bro code only shows up in the Lost Journal pages, and to me Stan's message feels like it purposely echoes Ford's "miss you" in the college photo (and for some reason the message doesn't appear in the website version of the photo?) ....or alternatively Stan simply noticed how distressed Ford was about this entire thing and wanted to support him in a way so he can be sappy but without the kids knowing, or both!
Stan's claim about the Oregon lottery contradicts what the Lost Legends website said about Tate McGucket's ability to predict the winning numbers!! ...but also breaking into the Lottery HQ is definitely a very Stan thing to do and it's not the first time small gags have been retconned
Despite spending most of his letter nonchalantly destroying him, the taunt about ripping a dollar bill in half is the only part where Stan is directly responding to Bill. Maybe it's the two of them having similar ways of thinking but it's rather specific considering Bill taunts the reader about it...
And after Bill spends an entire book calling Ford Sixer despite normally using a pretty wide range of nicknames for him, Stan then spends his letter mainly referring to Ford as Sixer, even though post-Weirdmageddon he tends to use a mix of nicknames. And it's not like he'd gotten to see Bill himself for long, let alone see him steal that childhood nickname (that is only used twice in the actual show btw!). Did Ford tell him what happened or...?
With all this and the website's "still on your mind" message, what I'm getting at is my tinfoil hat theory of Stan somehow seeing some of the pages the irl readers saw, even when it should be personalised to the specific reader, and he's been lying about it for some reason. Considering that the book flat out doesn't make an attempt at convincing Soos, I find it a stretch that whatever Bill was telling Stan via the book was an attempt to convince him either.
Wouldn't be the first time Stan's skimmed through a book and lied about what it meant to him.
(...Now I kinda wanna see a story about the family reading their versions of the book and making fun of it while Stan is improvising every single one of his pages and blatantly ignoring Bill's attempts to mock and taunt him)
But also I'm fascinated by the letters that only showed up on the website (aka the Soos+Wendy+McGucket+Pacifica ones). I'm assuming that Mabel had stuck them on after Stan's letter... but they were basically eaten by the book itself because seeing Stan's letter kick-started Bill's breakdown which takes up the rest of the book
#im wearing this tinfoil hat with pride i know something is up!!!!#like three things in one letter??? ...i mean the handwriting is another thing but for another reason that i already mentioned elsewhere#(of course i also love the idea of same coin theory being flat out the reason why stan's perceiving the book differently)#gf meta#stanley pines#stan pines#ford pines#book of bill#bill cipher#also i'm still kinda annoyed that pacifica got a letter over candy and grenda cos like.... she didn't really do anything in w3 lmao#meanwhile grenda literally ripped bill's eye out and the girls were the main ones holding him off!!! give them respect hirsch!!!!#they helped with the unicorn spell!!!! they're an extended part of the group!!!! they saved stan before!! give my girls respect!!!!!!#also some folks are assuming that the 'miss you' message was directed at mcgucket but if it was for him#i feel like it'd be scribbled on the page itself and not be part of college ford notes in the bg (and ford would use a different cipher)#mind you the photo itself is a day after he met mcgucket so there's no reason why ford would direct it at him#they literally just became besties!!!#and this is a ford recently estranged from his brother and is still trying to convince himself he only feels anger towards him#(i saw some saying that ford shared the bro code with mcgucket too and im ??? theres an entire page about him hiding his childhood stuff#i get there's the 'oh disney!!!' easter egg now but ford at that time was pretty touchy about anything regarding stan#(alex saying that if mcgucket had found his stan o war photo ford wouldve lied and#brushed it off as an inspiration to his career in science instead admitting that he's holding onto it cos he misses his twin)#plus he'd show another recent code that wasn't made by literally kids if he really wanted to share one imo#but also j3 is him using them to hide info from mcgucket!!!)#two sides of the same dollar bill#thisisnotawebsitedotcom
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I LOVE Teen Stan and Ford, it’s sad they don’t get drawn enough, so thank you so much!
Does Ford ever help Stan when he gets overstimulated? Or maybe when he has a rage response and suddenly starts crying and calls himself stupid?
Here's the other post with Ford
#I am once again asking someone to write me a fic about these two posts. pretty please 🥺#this took me way too long to think off#the dialogue was escaping me#if you can guess what the book he's reading is... you won't win anything I just think it would be cool#maybe Stan got upset about his grades. or a boxing match ir something#sometimes I too bite myself. not deep enough to draw blood but enough to bruise. it's gotten better over the tears but still#now and then...#anywayszzzzzzzz#ask#anonymous#gravity falls#stan pines#stanley pines#stanford pines#ford pines#teen stan#teen ford#art#fanart#traditional art#watercolor#the last few drawings came out so nicely#both of them are emotionally constipated in their teen years (and onwards honestly) so instead of addressing the crying they ignore it#they pretend it never happened#btw here you can see my (successful) attempt at putting Ford out of the picture so I don't have to draw more#comic#long post#look at their socks#I forgot the 's' in 'books' I'm so stupid god
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Such a nice morning with the girls!
#such a good call booking it back#we are enjoying a nice sunday morning full of tasks and comforts#information withheld from the poll: It was raining and the campers across the way had a loose dog who kept wandering over#I was pretty set on heading home but felt a little dramatic#our rally runs didn't feel good#we still Q'd#but I had to ask for pig's attention way to much and it felt extra bad because people now know who we are#it absolutely should not matter#but it's a little worm in my brain now#and I really really don't want to be that person but I was not loving the venue#10/10 a training issue but I honestly don't want to work on that specific thing#I'm stressed navigating a show and trialing my own dog#having to physically navigate one 10ft wide lane that feeds into 6 active rings is a hassle just as a person#and it's an extra hassle with a dog#the waiting area for the rally ring was squished between the ring and benching#it was also the same waiting area for the obedience ring so 12/10 super crowded#pichael tried so much for me and I simply was not there to support her#turnpike#rory borealis
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The Rosemary Tree is the first time I've had to put down a book so I could sob over how beautiful it was.
#elizabeth goudge how do you keep doing this?#her books are such a strange thing for me#either they're 'yes it's pretty but could you please get to the point and have something happen?'#or i am slammed with waves and waves of intense overwhelming emotion so i almost can't stand how deeply it affects me#i think it helps to read it at the same time of year the story occurs#the dean's watch during advent was a life-changing experience#and now reading this book in march is having a very similar effect#i actually had to go in a room by myself to properly cry#because someone caught me tearing up#and how could i begin to explain that i'm sobbing my heart out because miss giles is reading the secret garden?#i've cried over sad moments in books but i've never felt anything like this#such intense joy and sorrow all mixed in so you can't tell which emotion is causing the tears#it's been like two hours since that happened and i'm still shook#my world is upended#and i'm being reminded in an entirely new way of what really great literature can do#the rosemary tree#elizabeth goudge
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I don't feel like going through my blog to search for the post, but called it:
And then they didn't even show Bruce or Dick's reaction to Damian getting kidnapped, only Barbara's pretty generic one.
Can someone tell DC's writers that it's kind of hard to care when not even the characters in the story have emotional reactions to what is happening? If you have someone's child getting kidnapped shouldn't we see the parent's reaction first?
Also the only "joke" the writer seems capable of making with Damian is that he's constantly getting told that he's a bad child/person, which is something I'm pretty tired of general but in this storyline it's especially annoying because so far Damian has contributed absolutely zero to the plot except for needing to be rescued by other people.
#Btw Superman is possessed by...something#Because we didn't already have enough of those this year#Yeah I'm not a fan of this book#I've seen others call it funny or charming but so far I think it's pretty lame#This and the other christmas stories with Damian all read like the writer read Damian's wiki page or only one of his early stories#And then called it a day with their research#Like Damian has lived with the batfamily for over fours years at this point#He knows who santa is#And he has met batmite before#So why did the writers act as if he's still ten and fresh out of the league#Even though he's drawn with his current costume
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2000's Trio 2020's Trio
Imagine how great it would be if the PJO show is successful and gets the Harry Potter treatment where we get to see these kids grow up throughout the show!
If the Golden Trio was our big 2000's trio, I hope the Original Trio will be our big 2020's trio💙💙💙
#these are my 2 favorite middle grade book series and I'd love if I can have well done adaptations for both of them to squeal over#I actually didn't get into the HP movies until they were all well done and over with#so i didn't really get to 'grow up' with the characters in real time as the movies were coming out#so I'm really hoping I'll get that chance with the actors in the PJO series#how cool would it be to watch the Original Trio and the rest of CHB grow up alongside the show in real time?#also my mom and I love marathoning HP together and I'm really hoping the PJO show can be the next big thing we obsess over together#I convinced her to watch PJO with me be telling her PJO is like HP and showing her the trailer and musical songs#she was interested and said she's into mythology too so its a start!#tbh I'm looking forward to the PJO show way more than the HP reboot#mostly because I'm so attacted to the films and think they're pretty good adaptations even if they're not perfect#but with PJO we don't have any GOOD and FAITHFUL adaptations at all#what movies? there are no PJO movies#I still might give the HP reboot a watch esp. if its good but still. the movies mean so much to me#i love both series and there's nothing wrong with that#please be nice#percy jackson#percy jackson and the olympians#percy jackson tv show#disney+#the original trio#annabeth chase#grover underwood#harry potter#harry potter movies#harmione granger#ron weasley#the golden trio#harry potter reboot#hbo max#2000s trio and 2020s trio
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and then an overwhelming sense of dread apear.
#finished my last exam for this year YAY YIPPEE YAHOO ETC. but also now we wait for if i pass or not DREAD FEAR WARINESS ETC.#which i rlly don't think i will like. did not feel good abt the 1st exam period felt worse abt the 2nd and this one is like.....idk idk...#pretty confident abt the books part of the exam bc i KNOW i got everything on that correct but the thing is it was an oral exam and i was#stumbling over my words so bad + my voice was quivering i could hear it. hoping they don't count that as minus points but for the speech#thing i also had to do 2day they DO include how your voice sounds when you speak and like stammering and such in the final point count so#like. what if it's the same there.....ALSO they include use of gesturing to emphasize what you're saying and CORRECT EYE CONTACT in the#final point count. which. i don't have a problem with gesturing & i had a piece of paper in my hands so at least i wasn't too bad on that#front but when it comes to eye contact it's only flitting eyes or unnerving stare with me and nothing in between so i'm completely fucked i#that regard.#r.txt#WHATEVER it's done now. stupid ass weird rules WHO CARES if i don't have correct usage of eye contact what even is correct usage of eye#contact?????? like HOW am i supposed to know what the quote correct amount unquote is man. ALSO WHO GIVE A SHIT.#anyway going 2 luxembourg with my family for two weeks on august 5th probably. maybe sooner maybe later. we're going hiking + camping ⛺🌲👣#but the hiking is mostly done without backpacks and the camping is gonna be in campings. camping places. however english calls it.#which is a little less fun but also easier. but also less fun. but ANYWAY we're going on vacation and my final exam is done so no more#stress 💪🥳🙏🗣💥‼ (<- guy who's SO gonna be still having stress until the results come in. and then some afterwards. yay 4 me 🙂👍)
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barnes and noble has been raising the prices of everything and further pushing for their premium membership option (which they raised the price of by 60 percent this year!) and then when they have big sales events, they're less than what they used to be.
last year at this time you could get one of their leather-bound book annex tomes for $12.50 (without a member discount) because of the 50 percent off all hardcover sales. but they raised the price of those tomes from 25 bucks to 30, and they decreased the sale from 50 percent off all hardcovers to 1/3rd off. so that same book that was $12.50 at last year's end-of-year sale is now 20 bucks. and that's supposed to be savings enough to induce me to walk into one of their stores this week?
i'm sorry but b&n has just gotten so greedy, even though their business has only been doing better and better in previous years. they do not have to be raising prices like they have been, and they can damn well afford to have the same savings events they used to. if you went to one of those hardcover sales a year or two ago, even if you lived in a less populated area like i do, you had never seen a b&n so busy in your life. things were flying off the shelves. they WERE making bank.
and as a company they've only been growing and growing (as much as the publishing industry has been, in recent years). but there are so many other ways to buy books. CHEAPER ways to buy books. MORE SUSTAINABLE ways to buy books. and since books and booksellers are doing really well right now, i don't see why barnes and noble is getting so greedy when they don't have to be. i dont like new shiny books that much. people buy books for the content, ultimately. sometimes we as consumers might make the choice that a new shiny book is worth paying a bit more for, but not that much. barnes and noble has just been demanding more and more of their customers' money for less and less benefit.
#kaily and i shared a membership account for several years but she cancelled it over the summer#bc of them raising it from 25 dollars per year to 40. i'm sorry but we just were not spending enough to make that worth it#the benefits for a member used to be 10 percent off everything in-store and free shipping online.#now it's 10 percent off everything in-store AND online with free shipping. which sounds good enough#but not for a 60 percent pricehike. and a bunch of other supposed benefits no one would ask for#like a free tote (geez. thanks. yeah i really need a free tote every year) and like. a free treat at a cafe on your kids' birthday?#i dont have a kid.#between the two of us. we were not buying 400 dollars worth of stuff at b&n every year#oh and it's also 10 percent off the in-store starbucks. but im pretty sure that USED to be a benefit they had#years ago?? like i SWEAR ive gotten money off at the b&n starbucks so i guess they got RID of that at some point#and gave it BACK when they HIKED UP THE PRICE TO 40 BUCKS A YEAR#text post#barnes and noble#it's a shame bc where i live. barnes and noble is the only like fancy bookstore#and i live in an area that my barnes and noble... is like. what a boston barnes and noble eats for breakfast.#it's two floors. there are plenty of books that it doesn't have. plenty of sections that are very small#like the poetry section is just pathetic. i look at it every time i go and it just makes me sad.#i guess a lot of the book annex stuff contains poetry but still that's not really enough to entertain a rich interest in the genre for long#i outgrew the limited selection at my own local b&n poetry section by the time i was twenty. i was like i already know everything here.#which isn't to say i'm an expert in poetry. it's to say that the poetry section is barely bigger than a shelf#in fact ive never thought about it before but I OWN more poetry books than you'll find in the poetry section#at my local b&n. lol#i have a lot of nostalgia for b&n even though it is a big company that does not love me. i have very few books i bought new#that are not from barnes and noble. i got so many books that changed my life from them#i guess it's like a childhood/teenage attachment at this point bc ive had more mixed feelings abt the direction theyve been taking#for several years at this point.#and no i dont mean that theyve been expanding to selling more toys/games etc. theyve literally always done that in my lifetime. who cares.#they still have books#as an adult ive been more capable of seeing how limited their book selection is and how i have so many problems w that.#and it ultimately comes down to them being a big greedy company
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My Snow Queen honors project was approved!! Huzzah!!!!!
#whew so that's pretty much over with! I mean I still want to finish the book and I'm going to but I don't need to worry about that due date#anymore. now I can focus on the play!
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The Me who bought tickets to see TMBG in february 2023 and the Me who's going to actually go to the show next month are two completely different people
#slash extremely negative#it's funny to actually live this whole sort of cliche of: the time between buying tickets and going to the show can be so absurdly long#with what was supposed to be my 1st 'real' concert no less#'i bought the tickets as a teenager but i'm going to see them in my 20s etc' and stuff like that#and then when it gets rescheduled too... well. a year and 9 months is in fact a pretty long time!!!#and i'm not even talking about rescheduling due to covid because god at least i didn't have to deal with that i guess#(it IS funny though that by the time the 30th anniversary of flood tour ends#flood will be 2 months away from turning 35. so yeah lmao a lot happened in the meantime huh)#anyways day two of going crazy going insane for no reason other than well i guess that's just my life now!!!!! 😃😃😃#me when i say i'll stop documenting my rapidly progressing mental breakdown online and then keep doing it anyway#but idk maybe this will heal me in some way. my only hope rn no joke#and my mom actually seemed to be unsure if i we should book the hotels and stuff because. ig i'm this obviously unwell even over the phone#but BY GOD this is the only thing i can really look forward to right now i really need this to survive#(trying to forget how i was doing in september of last year when they rescheduled the tour#and i couldn't even be sure if i'd ever get to see them in the end lollllll#and at the heights of my tmbg obsession this was my number 1 dream. i mean it still is)#also i think i'm finally entering my tmbg autumn era now with some more frequent listening after not doing so for a while#how could i let myself pretty much forget that i love tmbg??? and that their music is so good and makes me happy???#they're still my fav band of all time just like they were back then. THAT didn't change at least#it's just that now they share that spot with sparks also lol. can't choose between them and why should i anyway#what else. ig i just hope i get the energy to finally draw tomorrow at least#because if i don't turn the ideas i have into reality then they will never become real! and that would be so sad#so maybe this can be my main reason to continue for now. whatever#goosepost
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