#THIS BEHAVIOR IS SO DISPICABLE

[m0ther-of-p3arl]

Just wanted to ask, are you okay? I just saw that post you made about Biden and this years' election, and frankly the responses from grown adults were disgusting. I'm so sorry about how dismissive and rude the responses were, and I hope they haven't gotten you down in any way. At this point, it takes bravery for a teen to show an opinion on the internet in 2024.

awww, thank you so much!! this means a lot <33 i muted that post a long time ago, and i'm doing just fine. thank you for the kind words, and i absolutely agree that the behavior on that post was dispicable. i was simply putting forward an opinion and a plea, i did not ask for criticism and i am steadfast in my views. thanks for checking in!

[ileftherbackhome]

like, i do not hang out with people much anymore because just a few minutes of fatphobic conversation sends me down such a fucking spiral of triggering thoughts and desires, like every single time it just opens up a raw wound that i have to spend days if not weeks undoing the damage of.

everyone wants to talk about fat people being terrible, everyone wants to brag about cutting carbs and going for 10 mile runs every day, everyone wants to grab their belly fat and make rude comments about it, it's so exhausting all the time.

i just want to scream IM HAPPY WITH MY BODY CAN YOU JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP SHUT UP IM HAPPY WITH MY BODY IM HAPPY WITH MY BODY

and it sucks because people dont even realize it. people think its normal behavior to be so preoccupied with food and weight like this. they congratulate each other and cross your boundaries and its all so fucking normal for them.

and all u learn in therapy is how to live with the fact that you cant just fucking force feed people body satisification juice and cure their issues for them, you have to learn how to hear things you find dispicable and disgusting and gross to engage in, and you just have to cope. you gotta be a big girl and just get on with it and you cant give in because you love yourself too much damn it but fuck

if its not exhausting everytime i have to meet with people.

[batteredwarriorstillstanding]

REPLACEMENT THEORY!!!!!!!If you listen to anyone at msnbc, cnn, or any major network that is older than I, you are AWARE of the emergence of this "long time Conspiracy Theory of the "radical right"" which has now "gained a foothold among more popular conservative commentators" (Tucker Carlson, formerly of Fox News is ALWAYS mentioned here....yes, folks, it is sad to report, but the man has gone full on KKK....even subscribing to "Replacement Theory." Aren't you glad we are here to instruct you on who to blackball from your news sources? So....hold on, you may ask.... First of all, what IS Replacement Theory? Well, remember that ugly riot in Charlottesville, VA where one group composed of every type from Traditionalist Conservative to Nazi Low Rider found themselves on one side which was protesting the removal of certain historical statues to the opposition of...you guessed it, a liberal counterweight where all Dem types from Kirsten Sinema ideological clones to antifa members supported the removal of certain statues arguing that, as far as they were concerned, respect for the past does not require an apparent tolerance of racism....which is how many view the presence of certain statues...ANYWAY,though it certainly doesn't ALWAYS go this way, the right won the "who can be the source of the most dispicable behavior" contest....in fact, they'd have had it locked up even if the murdering of a left wing counterpart by an acknowledge racist had never even happened. At nightfall, a large chunk of the statue protesting bunch under the leadership of one Richard Spencer (look him up if you don't know) took a detour and began marching in another area holding torches and repeating the mantra "Jews will not replace us," repeatedly. Though not everyone in attendance likely knew what in the fuck Spencer and his flunkues were talking about, any Jew present who feared violent anti-semitism...which they had been patiently explaining was already on the rise in the U.S at this time, certainly did....and were suddenly uncomfortable at the very least. These men were asserting their truth of what is known as "the replacement theory," which simply means that America, its financial institutions, entertainment production apparatus, education, etc is controlled by a small, organized, and unbelievably powerful group of Jews...furthermore, the theory claims, these omnipotent jews are unhappy with their current underlings (white people from europe) and are in process of killing them off, replacing them with brown, yellow, and black immigrants... hence, all the craziness with the border and why Donald Trump became an instant hero when he promised to "build the wall." These white people are, in their view, fighting for their very survival. Wait... WHAAAT????Fox NEWS IS PUSHING THIS NOW????What a bunch of fucking psychos!!!

[rantingfactory]

Teachers are not supposed to talk about their personal life in school. This isn’t a hard concept!

But Your shifting the focus away from the Children because you know it’s wrong to expose them to sextual content.

And you think educators should override parents on the matter which is also grooming behavior. Isolating kids from parents is how kids get abused.

Abusers select children based on vulnerabilty and they exploit it. Pretend to be a friend. That’s where the ‘never take candy from strangers, saying comes from. Groomers manipulate and bribe and exploit that kid at every turn. Find weaknessess and pretend to be an ally.

Parents must know what their children are being taught in school and to say otherwise is dispicable.

It is not the teachers place to teach them sextuality in any form! Math, science, reading, and writing, (accurite history) ect.  Not sextuality and not their personal lives!

You say I have no reading comprehension, but I read your words over and over. You are manipulative. You are trying to make me feel like the dumb one. Im not a child so I know manipulation when I see it.

So you have no problems exposing kids to sex as long as it's the right kind of sex. Got it you're a pedo.

Lmao what? Where did you get that idea?

[moonymoonbeam]

genuinely so upset about the kit conner situation. i cant even imagine having to do that. really feels like every fandom space is filled with harassment and violence right now

[lostboysoflondon]

.

[ramehare]

I have this old idea I forgot bits of and really really want someone to talk to about, involving dreambur modern setting!

It was ecensially I believe, Wilbur having been cut off by his family do to his destructive behavior after he was forced to sell his failing business to Schlatt and work under him as he tries everything to get his business back when one day he gets into a fatal car crash and only survived because someone happened to be there at the right time to help.

This person being Dream who stayed at the hospital and visited often to make sure Wilbur was okay, the two eventually began talking more and developing a friendship. Wilbur seeing Dream as his new light, his savior and second chance.

It starts small at first, learning Dream's schedule, his likes and dislikes. Wilbur wants to know everything about Dream, wanted to get closer with him, until he learns something shattering. Dream is the son of the man he hates most, Schlatt.

He struggles with this newfound information, wondering how someone so wonderful, so amazing, his shining light! Could be related to someone so dispicable. Wilbur decides it doesn't matter, Dream is still his beloved, and he won't let his family relations let him see otherwise, but it also makes him more determined to take Schlatt down and reclaim what was rightfully his, Dream included.

Wilbur sees himself and Dream getting closer when he finds out that Dream is friends with his Brother Techno and on good terms with the rest of his 'traitorous' family and thats when he snaps.

The fear of them taking Dream away from him, filling his head with lies and making him turn on him too, Wilbur can't stand it, so he devises a plan.

After setting up an old cabin home his family use to go to reguarly that now he owns, he sets up the basement that was nolonger in use and all but forgotten, as the new home for his beloved, so he could probably care for him and keep him safe from everyone else who wishes to ruin him.

This is where what I remember for the idea is muggy. Quackity was definetly hired by Wilbur to keep an eye on the place while he was gone, Sam as well I think, and Foolish, Dream's brother, becomes suspicious of them after Dreams dissapearance. I think it was of Quackity and he goes after him, but I forget the reasons for his suspiciouns of him.

[violencebian]

calling out tumblr user @catgirlakemi . please block her for being so problematic.

1. shinnie

angel kins shin tsukimi. what the fuck. didnt he literally manipulate children and get toe jazuna killed ??? what r u hiding tumblr user catgirlakemi. r u trying to manipulate ur followers 🤨🤨🤨🤨🤨🤨 also i kin sara and so uhhm we have to fight

2. height

ur literally taller than me what the fuck. how come u get to be 5'3 but im only 5'2?? thats so fucked up and problematic what the hell. how much milk do u drink ????? stop drinking milk. stop being tall its offensive to me as someone who's 5'2

3. supporting problematic people (very real i promise)

flame supports flames mutuals that were EXPOSED for being HOMOPHOBIC and TRANSPHOBIC for calling saiou.ma ship art PLATONIC !!!!!!!!!! what the hell !!!!!!!!! thats so evil and fucked up !!!!!!!!!1

so yeah please block tumblr user @catgirlakemi for this behavior. literally so fucked up im unfollowing rn. now you know the truth

disclaimer: this post is a joke im not actually calling out aki's horrible evil dispicable sins (because angels perfect).

[cherryprincejin]

what did she do this time ._.

basically there are receipts/screenshots where she’s saying she really wants to beat him up (which she says not only once, but twice and adds like a dog at that!!) and how he is ungrateful, dumb and a psychopath and they date back to like almost a year ago

[jechristine]

What do you think of Mark Wahlberg? I see you like tom Holland’s work, and I think we’re both excited for the Uncharted movie, but mark’s presence really blocked my interest to watch it

As I understand it, Mark Wahlberg committed several heinous, racist assaults when he was a teenager who was using drugs pretty heavily. They were hate crimes, and, while I don’t know the specifics of his cases, I do think people, even juveniles, who commit hate crimes ought to serve significant prison sentences for the damage their actions inflict on the whole society, and then we should rehabilitate them.

I don’t think any of us are the worst thing we’ve ever done, especially things we’ve done as teenagers and as addicts. But there does need to be a reckoning and rehabilitation, too, because we as a society cannot tolerate racial hatred and racial violence. Unfortunately our American criminal justice system is not up to the task, to put it extremely mildly. The inequities around who gets punished and how much are sickening, and Mark for sure benefited from his white/rich privilege as a teenager and still, tremendously. That’s a fact.

Given that our system failed, I wish Mark as an adult had done far, far more to repent and make our society whole. He could certainly have used his platform to support racial justice, and he still can. I think it’s pretty dispicable that when he was fully mature and sober he still opted to basically shrug his shoulders. It’s gross, entitled behavior. (I believe as an adult he even sought a pardon but then dropped it because he was shamed. Ugh.)

I don’t think he should get work until at least he takes some action to fix his own legacy on race. (I do wonder what Tom knows and thinks about Mark’s ongoing choice to shrug his shoulders at his own role in racial in/justice, especially given that Tom is an exec producer on Uncharted. I don’t think it would be out of bounds for the public to ask those questions of Tom, actually.)

I do, however, separate the work of art from the morality of an individual involved in it. I’ve written about that here re: Joss Whedon and Buffy. I think art belongs to all the artists who have collaborated to create it, to consumers who have found meaning in it, and to a whole culture that’s shaped it and that it shapes. Those words are probably too lofty for a film like Uncharted, but the main ideas still apply.

Aside from all of that, I don’t think Mark Wahlberg is a good actor. He’s sort of a charisma-vacuum! I’m not sure why he gets work at all just on the merits of how good he is at his job. At one point he rode his older (also problematic) brother’s coattails, but that was a long time ago.

So I will see Uncharted and cringe at Mark’s bad acting. But I do support people handling Mark’s presence in the film however they see fit. I explained my own approach, but I know there are other reasonable perpectives, too.

[crashquez]

How do you deal with the Marc hate online especially since rossi is retiring all i can see is “rossi is the goat marc is actually shit” aghh im so done with rossi retiring just LEAVE like he didn’t win a single title since marc joined im also mad he talked shit about marc so often rossi was great definitely but marc is superior i cant wait marc to have more world championships than rossi

Sorry for the rant literally noone i know watches motogp or understands my love for marc

oh bestie i feel you :(( not going to lie it used to really really bother me but now i am kinda used to the hate? the more hes on top, the more people hate, and the more people hate, the better is he likely doing.

all of last year his instagram comments were fully of “i hope you come back crash again and d**” “i wish you broke yourself sooner” and other horrible things like that. it broke my heart knowing that he was struggling at home both physically and emotionally and there were people saying stuff like this.

at the end of the day i feel like those comments just come from a dispicable place of jealousy. the man is darn good at what he does, even with a broken arm he’s faster than half the field. people are mad and he stays winning and thats all that matters.

as for rossi, my own father is a huge italian rossi stan and every weekend he texts me to tell me marc is the scum of the earth and deserves to be banned for life which is just so sweet!!! i am sick and tired of the rossi dude bros and of how rossi has enabled this behavior for years. i could go on and on about this (and happy to dm if you want) but i don’t want to piss off all my followers lol but yeah marc is ALWAYS in their mouth. nothing he does will ever be okay in their eyes. listen im not saying marc is perfect or without faults, but like if the world went accoring to rossi, marc would be a felon with a long ass criminal history, which is just a tad extreme. ALSO they live in whatever made up scenario they have created about 2015 cause they have no actual good reality to cling to, it’s sad!!

as for the goat debate, reasonable people can disagree, and i am obviously biased, but pretending marc isnt up there after having won 8 world championships in 10 years is a tad idiotic. marc already owns so many motogp records and hemd gonna break many more, but apparently he’s too old and will only fail from here on out? and yet these same people still somehow believe that vale could have won his 10th at 40??? hypocritical much??

anyway, i am so grateful that marc is so mentally strong and has a good group of people around him. i cannot wait for him to get back to smiling on the podium every week again because he deserves the world and more.

[thedeviousdo]

Hi there, I want to preface this by saying this is not an attack on you, but after that last anon I feel like this has to be said again. Can we all please stop talking like KEXOLs are the bad side of the fandom? Whenever something negative happens I always see people attacking KEXOLs for it, or asking if it was KEXOLs that were behind it. It's not just KEXOLs who behave dispicably when it comes to the members, CEXOLS, JEXOLS, IEXOLS, and everything in between have had their fair share of disgusting behaviour, and I've seen how the constant blame for everything over recent years have made some good KEXOLs either leave the fandom or stop posting as much because they keep getting branded with the same hate stick that people have for the bad EXOLs, unable to or unwilling to distinguish the difference. We need to label the bad EXOLs what they are, haters, bullies, antis, not shove them all under the KEXOL banner when there are just as many EXOLs from other countries spreading hate about or bullying the members. Just because someone speaks Korean, doesn't mean they are Korean. Sorry for the rant, and again, this is not an attack on you as I haven't seen you do it. But I feel it needs to be said because it's hurtful to see people blaming KEXOLs for everything.

I get what you're saying anon, and you're right. It should be seen instead for what they are, not true fans. Yes, there have been certain instances where there was a more obvious area the hate was coming from. I said something about that in an ask a bit ago. As crappy as the behavior was, there was an understanding why they reacted certain ways bc its more cultural. It's how the kpop world is viewed and received there (and other places) that is problematic at times. It also doesn't mean the international fans aren't as bad a lot of the times too. I, in no way think of it as all Asian speaking or Asian descent that is the crappy ExoL (truly if I ever came off that way I apologize bc that was not my intent, I know you said it wasn't but I'd feel horrible if I did). The so called fans that bully, degrade, show entitlement, that are invasive and hateful are the bad ExoL, actually I don't even associate them as an one of us. They are the rot of the fandom. I also don't believe at all times they are ExoLs that are doing this crap, but other sick individuals from other groups trying to start things. That is more common than not in any fandom. We create these dumbass wars with other fandoms and then go cause havoc.

[isitandwonder]

I knew it would get ugly but I truly thought it would just stay in the fandom. That people take these things to Tim’s IG account shocks me. I believe he’s a grown man but I’m not sure how prepared he was for this shit storm. But he showed with the WA issue that he can weather storms. Only, that didn’t refer to his private life. I hope he knows that this is just a dispicable fraction of his fandom.

Let’s see how he’ll react to fans at his next public appearance.

I also vividly remember that the same people insulting and ridiculing Tim were all over a friend of mine when she fell out of love with AH. They told her to fuck off over and over for daring to say critical things about him, they ridiculed her, belittled her, tried to ostracise her. Well, I won’t sink to your level but how about you take your own advice and pack it in when Tim is such a shitshow for you now? Move on. Go away. Your hate is pathetic.

I also notice that some BNF blogs are staying awefully quiet. Are you afraid of losing followers if you take a side? Silence can be seen as acceptance. How about you tell your followers what you think about people commenting on Tim’s IG that he’s a disappointment and cancelled for daring to have a private life? Do you support such actions? No? Then why don’t you say so? Some of you try so hard to be popular it makes me sick.

I’m so glad I burned a lot of bridges over the past few weeks. Seeing people I called mutuals once now behaving like bitches is still disappointing as fuck. You don’t have to like recent developments but sending hate to someone you professed to love or gloating about people doing so is very poor behavior. If you need to vent keep it within fandom because I’m pretty sure that Tim really doesn’t care about what you think who he should fuck. So stop embarrassing yourself by trying to tell him your mean little thoughts about how he should lead his life.

[rametarin]

‘fujoshi’ when used by westerners.

The term, its use, nor its name is ‘cultural appropriation.’ For starters, it’s yaoi fangirls that started calling themselves that. And it was more succinct, more telling, more specific than just saying, ‘yaoi fangirl.’ It was a box these people put themselves in.

And 99% of said yaoi fans were, indeed, cis women. You can be mad about that all you want, but it was a title the girls gave themselves, a reputation that they made for themselves.

Just the same way that every unwashed, smelly male fan that lives with his family/in his mother’s basement “earned” that title, just the same way every “chivalrous” dork with a trilby, porkpie or fedora hat earned the recognizable label of “fedoralord”, just the way every gym rat jock that smells of axe bodyspray and gets lumped in with the misogynists gets disregarded as a Dudebro,

every obnoxious and unhealthily obsessed chick that tries to talk your ear off about gay men sex or gay men relationships or gay men gay men gay men, is a fucking western fujoshi.

1.) It’s not cultural appropriation.

This is the desperate hill that they want to die on. The idea that if they can make it taboo or unacceptable to use the word, that recognition of the pattern will either go away, or become taboo to even recognize. That they’ll be invisible. That what they are will be the 800 pound gorilla in the room you’re not allowed to call out or recognize. They don’t want the bad reputation, the stigma, to be disregarded for the bad behaviors, actions, patterns or habits of the girls before them. And so, they’ve chosen to try and get it made foul and against the “rules” to use it, because it’s a foreign word. And it deviates in use from how Japan uses it.

Loan words are not ‘cultural appropriation.’ And if you insist, we can simply dub them “Western Fujoshi.” Because unless you’re willing to accept that Japanese Fujoshi are the same obnoxious tarts, then you acknowledge that the fucking dispicable behaviors, entitlement, attitudes and creepy voyeuristic treatment of gay men, their relationships and the very concept and idea of being a gay men are characteristic of Western Fujoshi. Whom are more aggressive about it, by far, than their Japanese counterparts.

2.) It’s not sexist.

Again, the western Yaoi Fangirls in their weeb phase named themselves. Everybody else thought that was just fine, since the distinction between, “a girl that just likes man/man sex” and a Fujoshi is several layers of entitlement, obsession and creepy infatuation with someone for their sex and sexuality. They were spoiled princesses with very little access to the actual LGBT community, and existed in their little bubbles as spoiled princesses who did what they wanted. Something referring to the behavior most common in girls does not make something sexist.

Unless you are willing to admit that Fedoralords, Dudebros, Manbabies, and Neckbeards “do not exist,” because those are all “dog whistles” for kinds of men, often based on wild exaggerations and stereotypes that are only apparent in the most extreme of circumstances, don’t even try and discount the validity of Western Fujoshi as a term. You want to eat the Fujoshi word and make people stop acting like it’s real, those people exist? Then you’re going to have to never use the above terms, or any term that refers to a particular group of annoying people by the association to men and masculinity, ever again.

The same characteristics that you argue allow you to be on the look out for patterns of behavior, thought, dress or expression also exist among women. Subject to the same group and patterns of actions enabling people to associate them with negative shit. Don’t like it? Too bad. I upload a pictue of myself in a trilby, anything I say will get disregarded as “from a fedoralord,” because you bitches trained yourselves into thinking any dude in a stupid hat is gonna tip it and say, “M’lady!”

3.) It’s not misogynist

This leap, that calling out a bunch of women for being assholes, is misogyny, is hilarious. The next step after this is calling a teacher a misogynist for putting a girl that misbehaves in class in a time out chair, because “punishing a girl is sexist.”

You weren’t so worried about sexism when you lumped all those ass-crack showing, unwashed men that still live with mommy into the recognizable category and title of “manbaby.” You weren’t worried about the negative connotations unfairly stigmatizing a persons viewpoint when some sadsack dudes started hawing about chivalry, posting photographs of themselves with swords and wearing stupid hats. You went right on and made that a Thing, despite the fact it was at maximum, like, 50 guys across the US.  The rest were just guys fond of silly/stupid hats. But Fedoralord became the, “nice guy” stereotype, and anyone wearing a hat became subject to being treated like shit because other men wore a goofy hat AND said some dumb shit. You didn’t similarly do this to women. You made examples out of the men and created a negative stigma made up of the worst, most toxic presumptions.

And now you think a label and title that accurately lumps a bunch of annoying bitches into the same barrel is somehow anti-woman because it accurately labels them. Every yaoi paddle swinging one of you. Every one of you that has at some point thought, “I know more about being a gay MAN than many of my gay male friends do!”

So. Here’s what we’re gonna do.

We’re going to differentiate the obnoxious culture of glomping, stalking, gay fanfic shipping, projecting, mpreg obsessed, “give Edward and Al Elric’s voice actors yaoi fanfic to autograph” as “Western Fujoshi.”

Since fujoshi is no more ‘culturally appropriating’ than OTAKU, and OTAKU was never contested (but was known about) as wrong in Japan, you have no leg to stand on when we differentiate WESTERN Fujoshi from JAPANESE Fujoshi, whom allegedly do not engage in the same obnoxious behaviors and level of entitlement. We now validate the difference between you crazy bitches and the otherwise normal, original version the term was meant to embody.

What we’re not going to do is act like the toxic culture that spawned them does not exist, never existed, and doesn’t continue to exist, without a name. You shit in your bed and now you sleep in it.

[hippityhoppityyourenowmyproperty]

Reset! Rant (part 3)

Chapter: 16

That familiar feeling of rage returned to him. His fist and teeth clenched and he had the urge to hit something, preferable someone. Bart was the first thing that came to his mind, but he had better control of his Impulses than his brother did. He couldn't let Thawne win.

This is another big hypocrisy moment. He is not better at controlling his impulses than Bart is. Whenever he gets angry, he starts insulting and picking on Bart. He hurt Bart before because he couldn't take Kon making fun of him, and while doing so, he made the mission more dangerous and more prone to failure. He let's his anger out on Bart every time, and he had multiple agressive outburst. He's not as in control as the story leads on.

Bart hopped to his feet and rocked on his heels. "I screw up all the time. Everyone says so. That's why I'm not supposed to do the hero thing without an adult. That's why I wasn't invited to join the Teen Titans."

"Are you kidding me?" Thad's tone was sharp and angry. "What business does anyone have in telling you you how to help people? What business do you have in even listening to them? I don't see you calling yourself Kid Flash and running at Wally's side like and obedient puppy. You're not a side kick."

...................................."In any case, we're more than capable of operating on our own. We don't need some nosy busybodies lording over us and expecting obedience just because of the legacy we inherited."

At the first glance, this looks like Thad trying to emotionally support Bart and make him feel better. At the second look, not so much. Let's untangle what exactly is happening in this conversation. Bart is explaining why he is still supposed to have adult supervision, namely because people think that he can't handle missions on his own and that he'll mess up. Then Thad argues that he's not a side kick and therefore no one should tell him how to do the hero thing. Which...doesn't really makes sense. It was said that the reason why people are convinced that Bart can't be a hero without some guidance is not because he's part of a legacy, it's because they think that because of his impulsiveness and trouble at focusing he will screw them up. They're not expecting obedience because Bart is part of a legacy, they're expecting a willingness of Bart to work with a mentor because he's not experienced enough and will mess up at being a hero, otherwise.

Thad is self-projecting here. If he didn't misunderstand the situation for being about legacy, he wouldn't have tried to make Bart feel better. I'm certain he's just saying this because he's angry about the legacy he is conected to. The only reason Thad rants about Wally is because it reminds him of his situation with his legscy, and not becaus he's mad at Wally for being mean to Bart. Again, Thad is doing this for himself.

Remember when I told you to keep in mind what Thad said about Bart somewhere in Chapter 11? "Bart lacks the capacity of forethought that is requiered in an operation like this"? Also remember how Thad is always insulting Bart's intelligence, criticizes him and says that he won't survive without him? So what about the "In any case, we're more than capable of operating on our own"? This is not Thad suddenly making a turn around and seeing the flaws of his thoughts he had earlier. Thad's always saying what fits his interests best. He changes his opinions on whatever suits him best at the moment. He's such an obvious hypocrit at this point. He's bending his opinions on whatever he needs them to be. This is one of the most in your face instance of Thad gaslighting Bart. Through denial, controdiction and lies relating to his actions and words, he's planting seeds of doubt in Bart. Thad is making Bart question his own perception of memory, perception of reality and his sanity, whether Thad is intentionally gaslighting Bart or not doesn't matter. It's still damaging.

Chapter: 17

Thad thumped his fist against the garage door. "At least I had Craydl before. Now, I'm stuck with you." He glared at Bart again.

Gosh what a horrible fate, Thad. I feel so sorry for you. No really, I can't fathom what an awful nightmare this must be for you! He can never be satisfied, can he? He can count himself lucky that Bart is tolerating his toxic behavior. He is stuck with Thad. Bart is the one who has to put up with his constant belittling and verbal abuse. No one forced Thad to stay at Bart's home, Thad just decided that it now be that way. If it bothers him so much he could've asked to stay with the Garricks. Which would've also made more sense for everyone involved because Jay has superspeed and can look after Thad in case he would try to kill anyone else again.

Also note how Thad is threatening Bart through his gestures.

"Besides, mom said I'm the big brother and that's what big brothers are supposed to do." Rolling his eyes, Thad snorted, "Thanks for the touching moment, but it's not making my situation any better."

This is a form of withholding. It's also condescending demeanor.

Thad clenched his jaw and fists and said nothing in return. He stalked back into the house, punching the doorframe as he passed by.

He threatens Bart yet again.

I'm pressing buttons", Thad snapped. "What does that accomplish? This-" He pointed at the television, "is frivolous. It does nothing!" Bart tilted his head, looking at his brother then the controller. Then, without a word, he punched Thad. Startled, Thad stared at him, and then noticed the surprised expressions on Jay's and Helen's faces. Bart stood up. "Well, aren't ya gonna hit me?" Thad eyed Bart warily and stood. "What is this? Is this a trick?"

"No I'm serious. Hit me." When Thad hesitated, Bart insisted, "Fighting game im real life. Right here." Helen sucked in a breath as she realized what Bart was up to. "Not in the house." Bart nodded and grabbed Thad's arm. "C'mom! I know a place that's still in Manchester." When they ran off, Jay tipped his head to Helen. "I'll keep an eye om them." Once the boys were sure that nobody other than Jay was watching, Bart faced Thad with a combative stance.

Thad struck with a punch and Bart blocked with his forearms. Jay stood aside and watched, ready to intervene in case the fight got out of hand. Every now and then, a particularly solid strike by either boy, he tensed up and stepped forward, but they would continue on as if there was nothing to worry about. As Jay watched, he saw Thad smile for the first time. It was a wicked, predatory grin, full of bloodthirsty pleasure. Bart wasn't smiling. Instead, it was taking everything he had to hold himself against Thad. Sparks of static and stray speed force lightning trailed after them. Then Thad slipped past Bart's defenses and slammed down with an elbow and up with a knee. The next thing Bart knew he was looking up at Jay's concerned face. The elder speedster held out an arm to halt Thad. Thad's yellow eyes gleamed and he was still smilling, spoiling for more. Jay held out his other hand to help Bart to his feet. "You all right, son?"

This whole scene is so wrong, in so many ways, for so many reasons. Yes, you read this right. Bart suggested that Thad beat him up in order to let Thad get rid of his anger. Jay and Helen hear this offer, and say fucking nothing about it. Once again, they're irresponsible and neglectful. Helen shows absolute zero concern for Bart's well being. For crying out loud, the first thing she says after she realizes what Bart's suggesting is: "Not in the house." I repeat, the first thing that comes to her mind after she hears that Bart offers getting beat up by Thad is: "Oh no! My poor house! Everything will be so messed up!" I mean, damn. You have to be a really neglient, bad parent when you're more concerned with the state of your house than with the physical and mental health of your child. Helen and Jay should have been disgusted and put off by this offer. Helen should have said something along the lines of: "If Thad has anger issues, then that is his problem to work through, not yours. It's not your responsibility to keep his emotions under control. You are not his personal punshing bag, and you shouldn't put his well being before your own. No one expects you to make sacrifices like that for him." But nope, she is more afraid of what will happen to her precious kitchen than of the fact that Thad might break every bone that Bart has in his body because he feels like it. They both know what Bart is suggesting, and they don't see anything wrong with it whatsoever. They should have been horrified by this suggestion.

And keep in mind: This all happens after Thad killed the clone and almost killed Max and Bart. Helen knew of both altercations. She knows how brutal and vicious he can get. She knows that Thad is quick to violence, so why isn't she more concerned? Wouldn't she be at least a little scared that Thad might kill Bart because he can't control his brutal urges again? The only resonable explanation I can find is that she doesn't care about Bart. That's why she let's this happen, that's why she allows Thad to emotionally abuse Bart and call him names right in front of her eyes. She never makes Thad apologize for what he does to Bart, not even once. I don't like accusing her of favoritism, but that is what it looks like. Seeing how dispicable Thad's actions and words are is not that hard. Helen should have noticed by now. Jay isn't much better in this. He watched until Thad hit Bart so hard that he fainted and collapsed. I know that I couldn't stand idly by while watching a kid beat up another kid until he lost his conciousness and still feel like a good person.

If you think that we've hit rock bottom yet with this scene, think again.. Jay's and Helen's complete lack of concern makes Bart's actions seem like this was a healthy, acceptable way of helping people deal with their anger. That this is something normal in a sibling relationship. Worse, that offering someone to hurt you so that they can relieve their anger is something that is expected of you. A relationship where one part is expected to take responsibility for the other's negative emotions is a twisted, damaging one. You get what this is saying? "Someone's anger justifies them hurting and beating you up." This is just as bad as "abuse justifies abuse" (Which is also being taught here.) God, those are terrible, atrocious morals to teach to people. What Helen should have done with Thad the moment he moved in with them was taking him to an anger management class and getting him a good therapist, not ignore/encourage Thad's abusive tendencies.

Jay sat down at the table. "He's not as mean as his brother though. That kid...For his own grandfather to make him like that..." Jay shook his head with a frown. "If I ever get a chance to meet that man..." He clenched his fist on the table. "I hope I never do."

"Same here", Helen replied.

Seems like Thad's not the only one who takes a liking to being hypocritical and two-faced. This makes total sense, talk about poor Thad and all the abuse he went trough, but completely ignore the fact that he is abusing and actively inflicting pain on Bart right now. They're furious about what Thawne did to Thad, but when Thad does the same things to Bart it's totally okay and fair. In case you couldn't tell, this is a shit moral. Stop trying to justify abuse by saying that the abuser has been trough a lot and just needs an outlet. Having been abused does not give Thad the right to ruin Bart's life. It does not give him the permission to be a toxic jerk to him. He should be held accountable for his actions. Abuse doesn't justify abuse.

Chapter: 18

"So, you don't know anything on how to properly maintain it." Thad snorted and rolled his eyes. "Wonderful. Do you know where engineering is? Take me there. I'll do what you neglected to do and actually learn about the mechanics of this ship." Bart opted to ignore Thad's nasty tone, brushing it aside as just how Thad talked.

....................................

"If I'll get lonely, I'll come visit." Thad snidely assured. Not wanting to listen to another degrogatory rant, Bart decided to just let Thad find the room on his own.

This is critizising and judging and a put down, delivered with a very very condescending tone and manner. Do me a favor and take a shot everytime you read the sentences "Thad snorted" or Thad rolled his eyes." You'll be drunk in no time, trust me. Bart has been exposed to Thad's emotional abuse so long that at this point he is willing to accept Thad's verbal abuse as normal.

Chapter: 19

Thad:"They probably got distracted by with something shiny."

Thanks again Thad, for enforcing hurtful insults and exaggerated stereotypes about people with ADHD.

Thad:"Moron! Can't you come up with something that simple?"

Again with the name calling and the put down linked to Bart's ADHD.

"He's a nuisance" grumbled Thad.

"Not that I've had much first hand experience, but that's what siblings generally are, from what I've heard."

"So wanting to strangle Bart is normal?" Cissi laughed. "Everyone's wanted to strangle Bart at one point or another. That's just him."

Oh now it all makes sense! It's Bart's own fault for being abused because he's so annoying! Remember folks, if you've been abused, it's your own fault. If you hadn't been so burdensome, they wouldn't have treated you this way. They can't be responsible for their actions, it has to be you! How can we expect them to control their impulses and get a handle on their anger? That really would be too much to ask of them. The victim is to blame for being abused, that's obviously the logical conclusion here, right? God I hate this fic so much.

This whole conversation serves one purpose: Normalizing and rationalizing Thad's repugnant behavior towards Bart. Look! This is how healthy sibling relationships work! This is how they're supposed to be! Except not really.

This conservation is actually very cleverly done, because it only shows Thad's oppinion while stimuntaneously making it seem like Cissi agrees with his values about relationships when she's really not. They're coming from two completely different points of views, but that is concealed here.

Starting with the "He's a nuisance."

"That's what siblings generally are."

I get her statement, there will be many times when one can get annoyed with their sibling and not find themselves in an abusive relationship. Every sibling pair fights and argues, that's in the nature of things. It only gets problematic when that's literally the only thing you do. When the only thing you are to each other is an annoyance and someone to get mad at. When every encounter with them ends in hurtful words and accusations. Indicating that your brother/sister is sometimes a nuisance in a playful, teasing way is fairly common in healthy sibling relationships. "Those 5 minutes before you were born? Haha, those were the best 5 minutes of my life." Something like this is normal. The problem here? Thad doesn't mean what he says in a sarcastic or playful way. He's completely serious with this. This is all he sees in Bart. An annoying idiot who always stands in his way. There's no sympathy and no compassion for Bart. Only unjustified resentment and hatred. See, in a positive brother or sister relationship the individuels really love each other. Despite the jokes they sometimes make about not wanting the other around, they see more in their sibling than an annoyance. Thad doesn't, and that's what Cissi misunderstands. Thad is dead serious about his feelings towards Bart in this conversation. All he sees in Bart is a nuisance he has to tolerate. He has nothing but contempt for him. He doesn't try to see more in him than that. Thad has no right to complain about Bart. He has been nothing but nice to him. Despite all the shit he put Bart through, despite Bart still tolerating and trying to support Thad in every way he could, Thad somehow still has the audacity, the arrogance to make himself out to be the victim in this situation. Thad is an abusive jerk to him, if anyone has the right to vent, it's Bart.

Moving on to the "So wanting to strangle him is normal?" argument. Feeling a desire to hurt your sibling 24/7 just for existing isn't normal. Cissi means what she say in a more playful, harmless way. None of Bart's friends would go through with harming Bart because he was annoying them. There's a big difference between wanting to do something, and actually doing something. Moreover, Cissi doesn't get that Thad would like to hurt Bart all the time and not only when he was being annoying. Thad wants to hurt Bart even when he is nice to him. Thad means it in a "If Bart looks im my direction one more time I might strangle him and I really don't care if I accidently suffocate him and he dies." Cissi doesn't. Thad is aggressive and violent to him for absolute no reason. The emotions Thad feels towards Bart aren't normal, not in the least. Stop trying to justify his abusive behavior.

And, I think this goes without saying, hurting someone solely because they're annoying you isn't okay, either.

[kanguin]

My Take on Me (A-ha ha)

Puns aside, I’m gonna do something that makes no sense because when I do these really long, drawn out posts analytically thinking about things, it doesn’t garner much attention or response, but at the same time, I’m doing this for me and my own sake so that really doesn’t matter?  If you’re at all interested to come along for this ride, I’m going to break down who I am, what I feel, and why.  I’m surely not going to hit every note, because there’s just so much to say I guess, but I’m going to cover everything that’s on my mind right now, and that which has been ruminating, trying to find words to describe itself for a while now.  It’s a ramble rant, but it’s under the cut if you want to read it.

If you asked anyone who knew me if I was inattentive, 99.9% of them would probably laugh and say a hearty yes.  And I really can’t argue with that.  There’s a lot going on in the world, and I really just don’t tend to pick up on that.  Partially because there are social things that I can’t read, and partially because my attention span really doesn’t stretch out that long to notice all of the little details that I’m supposed to notice.  My memory isn’t particularly great, but one event that I half remember from 5+ years ago really helps me visualize what is so different in terms of my attention.

What happened was I was on a college campus for a thing (as I have often been in the past decade of my life), and we went to this building that I think worked in psychology or data analysis, and they had a little thing that tracked your eye movements as you watched an ad, and they allowed us to test this out.  You’d watch the video, and then when it was over, it’d play it back with a trace of where your eyes were looking all over the screen.  Being naturally curious, I eagerly wished to try it out after others had their chance, and the results were amusing, to say the least.

I still clearly remember this to this day, which is impressive for me.  When I sat down, the ad was for the second Dispicable Me movie, and it was fascinating to watch, since this trailer had just come out recently, and I hadn’t seen it.  After the video was over, and my eye movements played back, everyone was confused.  Even the people running the test.  My eyes... didn’t go where they should have.  A car in center focus went by and I stared at the houses behind it.  Gru would talk, but I would only stare at his nose, then a lamp, then a balloon and never at his mouth like was expected.  Almost every time something was in center focus... my eyes were somewhere else.

And I know exactly why this is.  Aside from the simple explanations of “ADHD” and “Autism”, I know exactly why I was looking where I was looking, even though it was reflex movements.  The reason is that I just take in a lot of information.  A lot.  And that may seem to contradict the previous point affirming my obliviousness, but just hold on and it’ll clear up.  What sets me apart from what was expected is that I am uninterested in the mundane.  In the easily processed.  I delegate to the back of my mind, to the rear lobes of my thinking blob, what most people put in center focus.  So while the lower levels of my mind process what is being said, who’s talking, and who’s doing what, I’m taking in the background details to paint a bigger picture of what’s going on.  And the thing is, this isn’t some skill or talent.  My mind is like this 24/7.  And when too much is going on... I get overwhelmed.  Because there’s suddenly so much information that my poor wrinkly cognito sponge gets overloaded with more information than it can process at once.

So this takes me back to that point about my obliviousness.  In a way, I am oblivious to things going on around me.  Things that happen that by all means I should have noticed, I simply don’t.  Instead I pick up on the weird, random things that are going on, and usually others don’t notice.  There’s something wrong with the prioritization in my brain, but hey, it’s part of what makes me, me.  Gotta accept that which I literally, philosophically cannot fight.  But more than that... it’s also fair to say that I’m just not paying attention.  Because my focus isn’t out here, where other people are, and things are happening, and life is moving forward.

Instead, my mind is internal.  I’m always processing SOMETHING.  I can’t let things go un-thought-about.  So when I’m confused, lost, or unsettled, I’ll always turn to ask why.  And though I can’t always get the answer in the moment, that doesn’t mean it’s not a question I should think on.  So, after I sort out the in-the-moment issue, I continue to think on why I had the behavioral or cognitive hiccup that I did.  So that in the future, I won’t have that problem.  I’m never really “in the moment”.  It’s a problem, but not one I think I can realistically fix without upending the entirety of how my mind is structured.  Believe me, I’ve tried.

So, people tend to underestimate me.  When they meet me and get to know me on a surface level, my lack of awareness of what is going on in the moment is immediately apparent.  I must seem like a walking contradiction to half of my peers, because they consider me intellectual in the same breaths that they express befuddlement at my utter obliviousness to the world around me.  But I don’t know if they know I know that.  Like I said, I can’t exactly read how others feel.  I just notice patterns.  It’s part of why it’s hard for me to get truly close to others.  I can’t know someone until I predict their patterns with relatively high accuracy over time.  And when I sit down and explain this to people, it’s met with confusion.  Which is fair, granted I’m just as lost about what most people think and do as they are with me.

And like, this constant retrospective, constant thought of repairing to prevent further incidents, but being incapable of preventing them in the moment without a proper, previously established protocol, it permeates through my entire being.  It affects how I think about things, how I think about others, and how I approach relationships with other people.  I just established how it effects making friends, but I should also point out that it has pretty much put me in a place where I’ve only ever been in two romantic relationships.  One that lasted a month before my trust was betrayed, and one that has gone on for over 2 years now.  I’m quite satisfied with the one I have, more than satisfied even.  Because it’s exactly what I need, and mostly what I want.  But that’s the thing.  What I want in life frustrates me.

I’ve sat down with myself, and I’ve realized I almost always seem to imagine romantic interests, both dreaming up for myself and for characters that I see myself in, as proactive, perceptive, adventurous, and really relaxed; traits that are exactly counter me.  Because if someone like that was in a relationship with someone like me, then my flaws would almost seem like they didn’t exist.  And that’s a wonderful, idealized, euphoric thought.  One that dictates much of the romantic relationships I think up and love to focus on.  But it’s not realistic.

Love requires understanding.  But the thing is, someone like what I described is not someone I could understand the thoughts, behaviors, and actions of, inherently because those traits I ascribe to them are exactly counter of what I am.  I am demotivated, unobservant, reserved, and somewhat high strung.  I could not possibly understand and truly love someone that I could not understand, despite how much I want to feel that normalization.  But a relationship like that puts all of the importance on what they would do to normalize me, and places me as a passive, static object within it that contributes nothing.  And that’s just not a good relationship, in any way.

Yet as much as I rationalize it, it’s still something I instinctively crave, and probably can only ever get from fiction, because it’s not realistic and doesn’t make any sense.  It’s almost funny then, that the person I chose would be so much like me, that I would almost have to personally personify my own fantasy to get anything to move forward at times.  But I digress.  Fear of new things is something I’m too familiar with to complain or judge.  Speaking of which, fear.  That’s another thing that I think about, for another time though.

The differences inherent to my being are fascinating.  No matter what’s going on, I almost always, without fail, seem to feel like an outsider looking in on a world that makes no sense, but on the flipside, I’m aware enough to notice that 9 times out of 10 the missing information lies within my metaphorical blind-spot, and socially reconciling this discrepancy is hard, to say the least.  People unlike me aren’t going to get me, but they’re used to getting everyone on the first try, so for literally everyone I meet that I don’t immediately click with, it is I who has to make the steps to bridge the gap between my world and theirs.  Not because they are lazy, but because they simply cannot see what is wrong, because for them, socializing is so natural that it confuses them that it can ever go wrong even when no traditional miscommunication occurs.  That is to say, their use of body language, implication, tone, pace, and so on, suddenly go from useful conversational tools to active roadblocks in conversation.  I can’t blame them for not comprehending it.  I can imagine it’d be like watering a plant, but in the process causing it to wilt, when the same water reinvigorated the others.

But all the same, it’s frustrating.  I’m honestly kind of tired of having to come up with a million analogies just to explain to my own family why I’m not comfortable in rooms packed with people and loud noises.  Traditionally I’d hear people telling me “remember maintaining relationships with parents isn’t necessary if they don’t get you”, and like.  I kind of want to take that phrase from teenagers and say they can’t use it.  Because yeah, they “don’t get you”.  Sure.  Let’s take away your social skills sensory filtering and see how much your parents don’t get you.  Let’s see if the mass’s inability to properly communicate with their parents during teenage years and early adulthood mean their parents “don’t get them” as much as allistic parents don’t get their autistic kids, and vice versa.  You wanna talk disconnection and alienation?  I THINK THAT RANKS PRETTY HIGH ON THE “DON’T GET YOU” METER.

Again, I digress.  This really has just.  Turned into a dump of my thoughts and feelings.  My point I was trying to make is that I preemptively resent the thought of venting issues I have with my mother to people, because they don’t get it just as much as my mom doesn’t get it.  It’s not a problem with her, or with me.  It’s a problem with the fact that we function and think so radically and unrecognizably differently that trying to communicate is like speaking two separate languages that are SIMILAR but then 10% (or more) of the time they diverge and nobody knows what’s going on.  So that means issues I have with my mother are literally the same issues I’d have with any allistic folk.  I don’t get you, you don’t get me.  It’s just that I live with her and my brother that makes issues more frequent.

So yeah.  That was a lot of stuff.  I could probably dump more out, but this is already so long, and I’m dead certain nobody will read through this.  If you do, please say so.  I’ll be impressed, and you’ll have seen a glimpse inside my mind.