#THIS AU IS SO GOOD

[beatrice-reden-official]

Alyx: I can't do it...I can't do it anymore G': I'm not asking you to do anything. I am asking you to endure.

Oww.... mmmm this makes me feel a way ouch but also so interesting but ouch

[lightningandfireinmybones]

okay i had a thought?

Disclaimer I have been listening to this while studying (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qw9_FJv2oAY&list=PLjFwUFnGRUqOtc9INZDomQlb0D-4Eu0QI&index=3&ab_channel=ASMRrooms). so you understand... i got carried away

What if in the canon universe, we gave Val the Saera treatment but with a few tweaks? She isnt related to Daemyra at all and is just a valyrian bastard from Essos? We can pretend she is the daughter of one of Saera's many sons. She has inherited the valyrian looks though. Now what if Val having grown up in Lys had been taken as an.. apprentice (?), a ward (?) at one of the pillowhouses there? Maybe even Saera's (although i think she moved to volantis later in life?)

She works the work. She is the best. Men and Women travel from across the continent just to spend a night with her. They sell their fleets, they offer their jewels and gold. Forgotten weapons made from valyrian steel are given to her just so she'll spare them a glance. Not only does she have the blood of old valyria - being a targaryen bastard- but also she is distantly related to the Targs ruling over Westeros. She is a big deal. Now, after a while she gets bored there. Everyone is eating off the palm of her hands, she was them wrapped around her fingers. It's the same song over and over again. So she decides to pack up a few things and make her way west, just to see what that strange place is like, where everyone is so uptight and where her family of old rule.

She eventually makes her way to King's Landing. She decides to visit one of the brothels there and act like a complete novice at first. (maybe though she tells them who she is so that they will hire her?)

She meets Aegon though she keeps her distance. She doesn't really want to Know these people. It's like sight seeing for her. So she uses what sway she has to ensure Aegon is kept away from her.

One night Aemond shows up to pick up aegon as one does. She sees him and she's fucked. While aemond is waiting she approaches him, starts nonchalantly singing in valyrian, wanting him to notice her but without looking too desperate. And he does.

a young valyrian woman speaking their tongue, how does she even know how?

poor, faith guilt ridden, sexualy aversed by the brothel (understandably so)and also frustrated Aemond feels for the first time ever attracted to another person. (one who looks just like him how's that for Therapy?)

he visits more often just to see her. She keeps being subtle about it. he isnt. eventually he finds the inner strength to introduce himself (one can only get So frustrated before snapping).

im not thinking that aemond will stay guilt ridden for too long. there's a mean bad very horrible dom in there hiding. fuck the faith. all he needs is some guidance (corruption) by someone who cares about him. and Val has been game since moment 1. besides -ive never been religious so idk- aren't people who come from very restrictive religions the most delectable closeted sinners?

NAUR BESTIE PLS I LOVE THIS THINKING MANY THOTS I GOT CARRIED AWAY

because valaena without her grounding family and brothers is completely unhinged, without real self preservation and impulse control,,, so she's out here doing whatever the fuck she wants

in this world, we have valaena groomed to be the very best courtesan, trained in seduction and manipulation, to use her looks as a weapon and keep her mind sharp and deadly behind walls nobody else can get past

and val is good at that,,, she's good at getting her lovers to give up their whole lives, to throw fortunes at her, but she never really feels fulfilled, like she's seen or done it all,,, still, her fame grows as word of the bastard targaryen beauty spreads,,, even making it as far as to westeros, to the family that is not that distantly removed from her

the whole song and dance of being a world famous courtesan is starting to grow old,,, she longs for adventure, for adrenaline, to feel alive again, to experience something new that will make her blood sing

rumors reach her of war in westeros, of the rogue prince and the one-eyed prince, of the dragons that bond and bow to targaryen blood

in the dead of the night, she disappears from essos, nothing more than a memory and a rumor, talks of pale targaryen ghosts haunting each port she sails through on her way to king's landing

word of her reputation and skill make it to westeros before she does, and she has her pick of brothels to work at, to make her home there

she chooses something classy but discreet, that is willing to let her observe at first, to linger back and learn the ropes of this strange place where her silver hair and purple eyes get bows and looks of fear, in addition to the lust and the excitement she's used to in essos

the first targaryen she sees and meets is aegon, of course, but he almost ruins the experience for her,,, this is the legacy of her family? a drunk who likes to watch children fight??? content to linger in the shadows, valaena continues to observe, still searching for that spark of excitement she was chasing when she came here

but then,,, aemond comes to pick up aegon

and he's everything she was hoping for, the one-eyed prince in the flesh and its like being struck by lightning,,, he doesn't look twice at any of the women or men in the brothel, content to glower and twirl a dagger between his fingers as he broods and waits for his brother,,, she has to have him, but she knows he will not be easy

but valaena is talented and patient and knows how to manipulate men,,, she drapes herself over the windowsill, making sure the moonlight catches the silver of her curls just right, and sings the most haunting valyrian lullaby

aemond, for his end, is also fucked,,, there's this woman, something out of his deepest darkest dreams, looking like a goddess and singing a language she's not supposed to know, curly hair drifting over an exposed shoulder, the sleeve of her gown slipping down

then, she stands and sails past him, walking so gracefully it almost looks like she's gliding over the cobblestones, leaving nothing but a hint of jasmine and lemon perfume in the air

for the first time, aemond wants. he knows clinically about attraction and sex, has studied up until he has mastered even his own disinterest, but she blows up his carefully structured walls, one haunting note at a time,,,, he's wrapped up in confusion and guilt and frustrated and angry that the first time he wants a woman like this, it's a courtesan who looks like a targaryen bastard who paid him no mind at all

that doesn't stop him from coming back, collecting aemond personally night after night in hopes of catching a glimpse of that courtesan, a hint of that perfume

when he gets worked up enough to finally ask aegon about her, he's surprised when his brother laughs, telling him that "her name is valaena, and no, she won't fuck you. she doesn't fuck anyone here,,, believe me i tried"

the glimpses he catches of her at the brothel are confusing,,, a bruise on her collarbone that makes something inside of him ache, a quick laugh with another girl that stops him in his tracks, a flash of lavender eyes hiding a razor-sharp intelligence

he prays for guidance, but finds his mind wandering to her little gasp of surprise when he'd passed her in the hallways, the glimpse of cleavage in her gowns, the flash of thigh as she'd hopped down from a horse (ASTRIDE,,,, THE AUDACITY),,, he loses the relief of religion, for she has sullied even that for him,,, he gets angrier and angrier the more she is so close but never actually touching him or speaking to him past a few casual words in Valyrian

she's always just out of reach, but so close,,, valaena grinds aemond down until one day he snaps, approaching her in the rose gardens as she trims some blossoms, determined to finally solve the mystery of the seemingly celibate valyrian courtesan, paying a small fortune for the privilege of a night in her bedroom

he doesn't mean to throw her against the wall when he enters her chambers, doesn't mean to let his hands slide down her hips with a proprietary grip,,, but he also can't seem to help himself when it comes to her

layer by layer, valaena peels him until the unhinged dom emerges:')

[cnwolf-brainrot]

Me: Holy cow I’m in the TMNT AU comp preliminaries!! The voting starts this week!! I need to make content for my AU!!!

My brain: yeah yeah yeah that’s cool but what about THIS — insert brand new AU idea that I can’t get out of my head

[error-code400]

Based of Arena orphan by @23timesitoldyoutwice

LINK TO ARENA ORPHAN IT REALLY GOOD YOU WONT BE DISAPPOINTED!!

More under the cut

He raises his blood-soaked fist in triumph. The crowd again lost it, screaming and throwing flowers and other tokens in tribute to their new Battle Nexus champion.

This is what he was made for. To make his Mama proud.

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Can you tell I’m learning to do backgrounds now and lighting that was the most difficult thing I’ve done honestly. Still like how it turned out Hope you liked it @23timesitoldyoutwice I really wanted to stay true to the mystery of your turtle although I think its a dead give away. Cursive rise for having their skillets stand out differently. Aww well :)

[ghost-proofbaby]

yes robin is sam! and agryle is scott lang! OMGGGG

the kids 😭 i can’t

YES. YES. YES. EXACTLY. EXACTLYYYYYYY.

this is my new mind palace or whatever the kids call it. just unlocked my latest bedtime scenario haha

[riacte]

not romantic not platonic but a secret third thing [what would happen between earth and the moon if the earth stopped spinning as illustrated by xkcd randall munroe]

[noodles-and-tea]

Smooth

[roseworth]

i think theres this idea in the general public that the "best" fanfic gets turned into real books like 50 shades of grey. but the truth is that the best fanfic can never be published as an actual book because its intricately woven into the canon material so its inseparable even if you change the names

[mosslingg]

life lessons with grunkle ford

you can support my work on kofi!

[wanologic]

sorry danny, sam will never think you’re cool

[mynnthia]

was talking with a friend about how some of dunmeshi fаndom misunderstands kabru's initial feelings towards laios.

to sum up kabru's situation via a self-contained modernized metaphor:

kabru is like a guy who lost his entire family in a highly traumatic car accident. years later he joins a discord server and takes note of laios, another server member who seems interesting, so they start chatting. then laios reveals his special interest and favorite movie of all time is David Cronenberg's Crash (1996), and invites kabru to go watch a demolition derby with him

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Dog Meshi.

[camilleflyingrotten]

Another Good Omens Faeries AU

[goopeculiar]

What the Nightingale Spies jongin/kyungsoo (+ side!pairings), NC-17, 85847 words. Midnight missions get a lot more interesting for Kai when he's tasked with navigating a new operative in the agency. Known to each other only by the voices flowing through their earpieces, how close can two people really get in this espionage world that demands secrecy above all else?

[mrghostrat]

oh my god i finally thought of a vampire au that i'm completely unhinged for. i am about to be so insufferable about this

vampire aziraphale x vampire hunter crowley. and no, neither of them realise they're hereditary enemies when they hook up. they're dorks and idiots your honour.

edit: fic is here c:

[ato-dato]

One mans barber can be another mans nemesis.