#THINKING ABOUT THEM. I NEVER POST MY FICS OUT OF BEING SCARED ABOUT BEING WRONG BUT!!!!

[codecicle]

i know i promised main character syndrome (mangoball qsmp adaptation) ((AND ITS IN THE WORKS ITS GOING GOOD SO FAR)) but if i dropped a qcharlie and codeflippa full character study fic randomly while trapped in this 11 hour and 7 minute car ride would you all be niceys forever about it

[kaisturni]

rope bunny (pillow princess pt 2) | c. sturniolo

→ chris x fem!reader

→ plot; after your first night with chris, you do your best to stay out of the radar of his brothers. when you two return back to your room after filming, chris has a kink he wants to work out with you.

→ includes; smut, unprotected sex, restraining, f! oral, getting caught (kinda), creampie, angst if you squint, light fluff

→ a/n; i was going to post tomorrow but i could not WAIT hope i did it justice for everyone since this is my most loved fic (out of three lol but still crazy) and this one’s for the horny freaky FUCKS, ur just like me and i’m just like u, enjoy 🙈

NOT PROOFREAD

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i opened my eyes and squint, adjusting to the bright sun entering the room. i’m still naked, still hugging chris, and still buzzed from the events of last night.

he’s already on his phone, and when he notices that i’m awake and looking at him, he smiles and peppers kisses all over my face,

“mornin’ baby,” placing the last kiss on my lips, making sure this one was longer than the others.

“good morning, how did you sleep?” i ask while stretching, the blanket slipping down, exposing my bare chest.

chris bites his lip lightly, “slept good, feeling even better now,” he whispers into my ear, taking a hand and squeezing.

i do my best to not groan at his action, since the day has just started, “chris! seriously? not right now!” i laugh, slightly pushing him away and crawling out of bed to get myself into the shower.

he frowns at the loss of contact, “sorry i just cant help mysel- are you showering? can i come with???” he pleads after watching me grab a towel and shuffle to the bathroom,

as much as i want to get in to the shower with him right now, i know were in a rush and we have places to be with nick and matt, and i don’t think we need them on our trail with both of us coming out of the room with wet hair.

“didn’t you shower last night? plus we have to get going in 20, that’s not enough time for-“

“for what?” he smirks,

“nothing, it’s just not enough time!” i half yell, slamming the bathroom door. honestly, the fact that he’s so needy already is cute.

it makes me wonder how he’s going to act when we’re with nick and matt. is it going to be awkward? obvious? are they going to clock us right away and never speak to me again? i shudder at my own imagination. i guess we’ll find out today.

✧ : *✧･ﾟ:* ✧ : *✧･ﾟ:* ✧ : *✧･ﾟ:* ✧ : *✧･ﾟ:* ✧

they haven’t picked up on anything.

which is good, because chris and i aren’t exactly doing a very good job at keeping a low profile.

he’s been stealing kisses from me all day; whenever the camera is not on, we’ll find ourselves trailing behind the group just to give each other a few quick pecks,

even sitting next to me and squeezing my thighs under the table when we go out to eat, laughing when he sees me trying to control myself under his touch.

“we’ve got to get going to the driskill now, is everyone ready?” nick asks, and we all nod following him out of the restaurant and to the hotel.

of course, chris and i “unintentionally” trail to the back again, holding hands and kissing behind his oblivious brothers.

that is, until matt turns his head around just as chris is about to kiss me again, and we have to almost rip apart at his eye contact.

“jesus, what’s wrong with you two??” matt questions with a chuckle, with good reason because i’m obviously extremely startled by almost getting caught.

“nothing, i was just saying something to scare her before we got to the hotel,” chris says nonchalantly, the lie slipping off his tongue easily.

“well i don’t want to know, i’m already fucking terrified,” nick chimes in, thankfully not turning around and continuing to keep his eyes ahead of him.

matt agrees, and they carry their own conversation, forgetting about us. chris gives me a little wink and a quick peck on the side of the head, both of us in a silent agreement not to try anything to close to them, it not being worthy the risk.

✧ : *✧･ﾟ:* ✧ : *✧･ﾟ:* ✧ : *✧･ﾟ:* ✧ : *✧･ﾟ:* ✧

we’ve been filming for about an hour or two at this point, we end up in a room where sam and colby decide this is where we’re doing the estes method.

“okay so y/n and nick can go first, just sit over on that couch put these blindfolds and headphone on and you’ll start hearing words playing back to you,” sam tells us while handing nick and i our gear.

chris watches me without even blinking while i put my blindfold on, and i stare back at him until i see nothing.

nick and i do it for about 10 minutes and we were able to get some good stuff for their video,

“matt and chris, how about y’all try it next” colby says as nick and i unblind ourselves.

i hand chris my blindfold and he bends down to my level, “you look so fucking sexy with a blindfold on, remind me to steal those from them later,” he whispers and smiles devilishly, taking the blindfold from my hands and claiming my spot.

i can feel my heart rate pick up at both his comment and our proximity to the others, it seems like he really does not care about getting caught; or he just lives for the thrill of it.

now that him and matt have the blindfolds on, chris starts man spreading, bucking his hips upwards and throwing his head back.

this man knows exactly what he’s fucking doing.

every word he says is in a low, slow voice, and i’m sure he’s laughing in his head at the vision of me squirming at what he’s doing.

him and matt finish, chris taking matt’s blindfold from him, “i can put these away for you guys,” he says to colby, and he thanks him and the group starts walking towards the bathroom.

i look back at chris and he’s shoving the blindfolds into his pocket, bringing his index finger to his lips, giving me a silent hush. my breath hitches and i don’t want to even let myself get hot and bothered by what he could be having in store for me later.

the fantasy that almost begins to brew in my head is flushed by nick and matt's whispers ahead of me.

“i don’t know, it’s weird!”

“i don’t believe you for a second.”

“i swear, i don’t know what happened last night, but something is going on between them,”

i feel my heart sink to my stomach the second i hear those words come out of matt’s mouth. he must have suspected something when we were walking to the hotel. were we being that obvious the whole day? i can’t even remember at this point.

i can feel my heart race and breath pick up, anxiety seeping through my body before i feel a hand on my shoulder,

“you good?” chris looks at me, a worried expression on his face.

the last thing i want to do is make him worry about his brother’s speculations, so i give him a half hearted smile,

“yes, just tired that’s all,” his eyes search my face,

“me too, it’s okay we’ll be done filming soon,” he pats my shoulder lightly and turns to talk to his brothers. i’m jealous of how calm he’s able to be with the way he’s asking. it’s not like i’m the one who’s being risky, but it sure as hell feels like it does.

✧ : *✧･ﾟ:* ✧ : *✧･ﾟ:* ✧ : *✧･ﾟ:* ✧ : *✧･ﾟ:* ✧

it’s around one in the morning when we say goodbye to sam and colby and start heading back to our own hotel.

i decided to walk with nick instead of chris, and even then i can feel matt’s eyes burning into the back of my head.

i do my best to actually keep eye contact with him whenever he looks at me just so i can show i don’t have the “we both know i’m with your brother” expression on my face.

“goodnight, we’ll see you guys tomorrow to check out thrifts and shit,” chris starts, before beginning to walk in the direction of our room.

“what? i thought we were all going to hang in our room for a little,” nick asks, looking at me confused,

“nah, y/n told me she’s super tired and i don’t want to keep her up if i come in late, right, y/n?”

god he’s so fucking good on the spot it drives me nuts.

“yeah i’m exhausted, all that ghost hunting has me beat, but don’t worry nick i promise shopping tomorrow will make up for it,” i say,

“keep your promise missy!”

i salute him before giving nick an arm hug and walking away as we blow each other a kiss.

chris keys us in to our room, while looking back at me with a sweet smile and kisses me on the cheek,

“m’lady,” he says while ushering me to go in, causing me to roll my eyes and giggle.

i don’t even have time to think before chris slams me into the door of the room and pushes his lips into mine.

we moan into each others mouths, his arms snaking around my waist and mine wrapping around his neck on cue.

“fuck, i’ve been needing you all day, i don’t know how i waited this long,” chris says breaking the contact between our mouths and moving his lips down to my neck with a trail of sloppy kisses,

“jump,” he demands, and i do and he holds my legs in place around his legs,

“chris,” i breathe out, unable to come up with complete sentences to say.

he moves his lips back up to mine, and without breaking our kiss lays me down on the bed, himself still standing over me.

chris breaks away fast and harsh, i look at him slightly confused,

“what’s wrong? what are you do-oh my god,”

chris pulls out both blindfolds he stole while we were filming, which i had entirely forgotten about. honestly i thought he just put them in his pocket for the theatrics, but i was dead wrong.

“thought i forgot about these, huh? i couldn’t get the sight of you with it on out of my head,” he says while removing my top then kissing the part of my breasts that are exposed through my bra.

“i couldn’t decide if i wanted to blindfold you or tie you up with it, so i decided on both. now strip,” he stands up tall and holds the silky fabric between his hands, wrapping it around his left knuckles.

i do as i’m told and i get completely naked, sinking to the ground in front him.

he takes his top layers off until he’s standing there in just pants, eyes dark and peering down at me.

i can feel myself quickly getting soaked, and chris grabs my throat and pulls me up closer to his level,

“you’re gonna do as i say, got that baby?” i nod vigorously, and he motions for me to lay on the bed.

“put your arms pretty girl,” he husks, kissing up my naked body before tying my wrists together in a bow above my head.

“i didn’t think you would be into this kind of thing, christopher,” i purr at him, watching chris bite his lip at my comment,

“i’m mainly just in to you, and since you’re mine i get to try anything i want with you, right?” he says, dipping down to suck on my nipple.

the feeling causes me to moan and squeeze my legs together, aching for him to absolutely fuck me senseless.

“r-right,” i say in a breathless agreement, and he gives me that devilish smile once again.

“good. now just lay back and enjoy it all baby,” he brings the blindfold up to my face and i lift my head so he can tie it around my head.

immediately i feel his hand go between my soaking core, causing me to arch my back even his gentle touch,

“you’re already so wet, you make it so hard to not fuck you so quick,” his voice rings into my ears like a melody as his two fingers enter me with ease.

“oh fuck, mmm…chris-“ i wriggle in my makeshift handcuffs when he curls his fingers with each pump, hitting the perfect spot every single time.

he removes his fingers from inside me, and i groan at the void of the pleasure that was building up inside me.

suddenly he pushes my legs further apart, and i gasp when i feel his mouth sucking on my clit.

pornographic moans echo in the room, and he buries his face deeper into my pussy, vibrations of his moans sending me further into a frenzy.

i’d give fucking anything to grip on to his hair right now, but since that option was taken away from me i’m left squirming under his touch, feeling the knots in my stomach grow tighter by the minute.

“shit right there, don’t fucking stop please,” i feel like i’m going to explode as he goes between sucking on my clit and giving fast licks to it on the tip of his tongue.

“how could i? you taste so sweet, y/n, god i love your pussy in my face,” he says before immediately going back to his attack on my core.

“b-baby i’m so close,” i practically scream out,

“let it all out f’me pretty girl,” he mumbled against me, and i release all over, feelings my legs trembling over my high.

i feel chris’ soaking wet mouth on my lips again, tasting myself as he explores my mouth with his.

he breaks away and i inhale deeply, picking up the sounds of his belt and the undoing of a zipper.

i feel his dick rub between me a few times before he immediately starts thrusting, holding my hips in place for his movement.

“ah chris! too much, too much!” i groan, my body still aching and the overstimulation well washed on me.

“no, take it—take it like the good girl i know you are,” he says, not breaking a rhythm of the pace of him slamming into me.

our moans meet once again, and his roughness only takes me further on the path to another orgasm.

he only moves his body to kiss me, rough and hard like his own movements.

“fuck y/n, i’m not lasting long with you,” he whimpers out, and i cant even focus on the words he’s saying because of the fire ready to burst inside of me.

“chris i-i’m gonna c-cum again,” i manage to say barely above a whisper, i’m so fucked out that even breathing is a challenge at this point.

“cum with me,” he says, his thrusts becoming sloppier, and we both reach out highs, feelings myself becoming warm with my own and his juices mixing inside of me.

chris removed the blindfold around my wrists and face, his tired eyes meeting mine.

he kisses all over my face with slow, gentle presses, “how was that?” he asks, then kissing the tip of my nose once more.

it’s insane how much of a different person chris turns into when we fuck.

“it was so good chris, thank you,” i say before reaching for my phone and crawling back on top of the bed.

chris joins me, and i lay on his body with my leg thrown over him; gently scratching my leg.

i notice i’m at low battery, thinking to get a charger, but immediately groaning in annoyance.

“what, what’s wrong?”

“i left my charger in their room. can you go get it? they must think i’m asleep by now,” i ask with doe eyes.

i know he’s going to do it anyway, but what’s the fun without teasing?

he laughs, “well since you asked so nicely,” he says before pecking my cheek,

“i can, i’ll be right back,”

i hum in response and he gets up, throwing just his boxers and a robe on.

i don’t bother putting on any clothes yet, but i do make myself comfortable in the blanket of the bed.

i close my eyes and hear the door open,

“okay WHAT the fuck.”

my eyes shoot open as i see matt and nick looking straight at me, horror filling both of their eyes.

chris is in a robe, i’m still very obviously naked, and there’s the stolen blindfolds on the bed; it’s not a good look.

i don’t even know what to say, the ringing in my ears beginning, feeling like i’m going to pass out.

why are they even here? were they listening? waiting?

i’m so full of embarrassment and anger, that i can’t even control myself.

“GET OUT, ALL OF YOU GET OUT!” i scream, and all of them look at me in shocked silence while i take the heap of blanket out of the bed with me and shove chris out of the room into the hallway with nick and matt.

it isn’t his fault, but it kind of is. for some reason i’m not really angry with him, more so at the situation. all of this could’ve been avoided if we just said something sooner and that’s what makes me feel the worst.

i quickly change into a pair of chris’ sweats and my own tshirt, rubbing my face into my palms as i brace myself to open the door again.

“y/n-“ matt starts,

“so you think it’s okay to fucking listen in on us through the door like a creep? what is wrong with you!” i yell, feeling the tears begin to pool into my eyes,

“no, no! that’s not what happened, we came because-“

“i heard what you said at the driskill!”

“what?” chris looks at the two confused, and they just ignore his expression and relay their focus back to me,

“y/n, we were just joking around. we came to bring you your charger that you left in my bag. anyway, we didn’t think actually anything was going on between you two.” nick starts calmly, allowing my own temper to mellow out with his soft speaking.

“yeah, we were just messing around. but obviously there was some… truth to it,” matt finishes.

chris sits silently next to me on the bed rubbing my back while i bury my face in my hands in shame.

“i’m so sorry guys, i don’t want you to fucking hate me for this, especially you nick; we were friends first,” i lightly sob into my hands and nick sits down on the other side of me,

“hey no, i, we, could never hate you for dating our brother— you guys are like, dating now right?” he says, looking at chris with raised eyebrows,

and i look at him, knowing we’re more that just fuck buddies; he said so himself. but just out of the curiosity of what he will say to his own brothers.

“of course we are,” we smile at each other and i turn back to nick,

“then i’m happy for you both. just remind me to fucking rip my ears and eyes out after hearing, and SEEING what i just witnessed,” he exclaims, throwing his hands up and closing his eyes, trying to shake the memories from his head.

“oh GOD, please tell me you didn’t hear much?” i look at him and matt with pleading eyes,

“don’t worry, just the OHHH CHRIS, IM GONNA CUM!” matt mocks him; nick groaning in disgust and chris and i turning red at his words.

“okay okay, thank you guys now get out, and don’t stick around uninvited,” chris says, getting up and opening the door for them.

“hope you guys will actually be fuckin asleep when we see you next!” nick says, the door following soon behind him.

chris takes a deep sign, “well, that was out sooner than later. are you okay?”

“yeah, i am. i’m glad they know now, i don’t know how long we could’ve kept this up without them knowing,” i say,

he plays with the end of my hair, “me too, i never want to keep you a secret,” he gives me a half crooked smile,

i kiss him gently and wrap my arms around him, his presence safe and calming.

“thank you, chris. i do need to shower though, i’m still… covered,” i say, collecting a towel and some of chris’ clothes he’s been letting me borrow.

“can i come with this time?”

“chris!”

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@chrizzpiecreme @viiiwwwee @mattsbrowser @anna-sturniolo @kellynlovesmatt

[golbrocklovely]

crave // sam and colby

A/N: sorry for posting this so late. had to finish up a few things on it, and i'm super tired so it kinda took me a while. this fic was a lot of fun to write, and if you squint it's sort of a sequel to "our girlfriend" (but not actually). lmk what you think and happy haunting :)

prompt: snc are vamps, but they need to keep their secret under wraps. they ask you, their long time best friend, to come out with them on tour to be their blood donor. what could go wrong? || AU!vampire!sam and colby x fem!reader

trigger warning: SMUT, but no actual sex, just a lot of dirty talk/description, snc are vampires, mentions of blood, biting, blood drinking (from both parties), their blood makes you horny, cursing, petnames mentioned: baby girl, sweetheart, darling, good girl, ours, deception, possibly some dubcon so just be weary of that if that's not your thing, but don't worry… it's all a dream…. or is it???

word count: 5428

~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was odd having vampires for friends while being a human. Odd, but interesting.

Sam and Colby had been my friends since they moved out to LA, and it felt like we knew each other longer than that. We grew close almost instantly, telling each other some of our deepest secrets within the first few days of knowing one another. Then one day, they told me they were vampires. Of course I didn’t take them seriously; I mean who would? Vampires aren’t real.

I soon learned very quickly that they were when I caught one of the boys drinking from a girl at a party.

Eventually I came around to the idea. I mean, vampires are pretty cool, so knowing my best friends were ones was kind of awesome. Especially since that lead to so many other questions of what else is out there.

Sam and Colby weren’t much help in that department. They only knew that they were changed right before moving to LA. They didn’t know by who or why, but they learned to accept it and embrace it quickly. Everything new that they learned about themselves and their kind, they told me.

They were scared, however, that one day their secret would come out. A very small number of people knew about their... abilities. Vampires weren’t known to the broader world yet, and they definitely didn’t want to be the first to come out.

It was getting harder to hide their secret as they grew more and more successful. More eyes were on them. And then they told me about how they planned to go on a tour, meeting as many fans as possible across the US. I was excited for them, but was a little nervous. They deserved all the love that they were getting from their fans, but hiding their true identity wasn't going to be easy on tour.

But then, they asked me something I would have never expected.

“Would you go on tour with us as our... blood donor?” Colby asked, unable to keep eye contact with me.

I raised an eyebrow at him and Sam, “...What?”

“Okay, so... usually when we go out of the country or whatever, we’re able to secure a donor, or even blood bags from local hospitals. But because we are going to every state, sometimes twice, it’s hard to do that without people growing suspicious. And while we could go feed on people, we might get caught. So we were wondering if maybe you would want to go on tour with us and... we would drink from you instead.” Sam explained, fidgeting slightly in his chair.

Colby chimed in, “Of course you can say no. But if you do it, we would 100% compensate you, however you want. We know you’re busy with your career as well, but we promise to pay you well. And of course get you your own hotel rooms and food.”

“Everything would be paid for. And you would really be doing us a solid.” Sam added.

“What would my position be for those that ask?” I questioned, crossing my arms.

“You’d be our second assistant, since we already have one. Plus, we would just let anyone know that you’re our friend joining us to meet fans.” Sam answered.

“Hmm..." I asked, lowering my voice, "Does it hurt? Being... fed on?”

“The initial bite can feel like being pricked with a needle. But afterwards, it shouldn’t be bad.” Sam remarked.

Colby commented, "Plus we would give you our blo-"

Sam smacked him in the arm, glaring, "Dude, how about we ease into that conversation?"

"You would give me your blood? To what?" I queried.

They both paused, "...Drink."

I narrowed my eyes, "Humans can drink vampire blood?"

"Yes. And apparently they like it. A lot." Colby laughed.

Sam smirked, "He dated a girl once that got really into his blood. So much so she stalked him for it."

"Jesus," I mumbled. "Wait, was that-?"

"Ashley, yeah." Colby nodded.

I gasped, "Oh my god, I thought she was just crazy."

"Well, she was. Off of vampire blood." Sam chuckled.

"Our blood can give a euphoric feeling to the person that drinks it. So sometimes people react to it like it’s a drug." Colby mentioned.

Sam continued, "But it heals you, which is why we give it in the first place. If we drink from you, you drink ours."

"So... will you do it? Be our blood donor?" Colby asked, a nervous smile on his lips.

I took a minute, weighing the pros and cons in my mind. I exhaled, nodding, "Sure."

Both of them grinned excitedly. "Thank you, Y/N. You have no idea how much this helps us."

~~\ /~~\ /~~

The tour began a couple days later, all of us meeting at the airport and flying to our first stop, New York City. The meet and greet, sponsored by Zumiez, was being held in a large theater. It was gorgeous and very spacious. The nice thing was that I got my own little dressing room, filled with snacks and anything else I had requested. I was surprised at how weirdly relaxing my day had been, having just sat around and worked on a few things for my actual job.

Sam and Colby hadn't fed on me yet, and I was getting worried. How often do they need to drink? Are they both going to do it at once? Is it actually going to hurt? What-?

A soft knock at my door brought me out of my thoughts. I walked over to the door, opening it slowly. Sam stood, leaning against the door frame. "Can I come in?"

I nodded, opening the door more for him. "What's up?"

"Would you be okay with me drinking from you now? I know it's kind of last minute, but I promise next time I'll give you more of a heads up. Or maybe we could make a schedule or something." He laughed awkwardly.

"Can I ask some questions before we do it?" I requested, sitting down on the couch.

He agreed, leaning against the vanity across from me. "Of course. Whatever you want to know."

"How often do you guys need to drink?" I questioned.

"Once a day is usually our go to. More sometimes if we're really hungry or if we skipped a day." He admitted plainly.

"Do you both have to drink from me simultaneously?" I continued.

Sam shook his head, "No. If anything, it's better that we do it separately, especially since this is the first time you're having someone feed off of you."

"So Colby is gonna feed off of me later?" I asked, relaxing back against my seat.

"Maybe. He might skip today and feed tomorrow. That's what he was thinking of doing. He's a bit stronger than me when it comes to..." Sam cleared his throat, "urges."

"Oh... Have you guys ever... you know?" I mimed slicing my throat, killing someone.

He gaped at me, "My God no. We know how to stop before it ever gets to that point. The last thing we want to do is kill someone. So you don't need to worry. Plus, too much human blood makes us high."

"Really?" I snorted.

"Yeah. We only learned that from a random vampire we met in Vegas, so it might be a lie. We haven't exactly tested that theory." He commented.

"Okay..." I exhaled, "I think I'm ready."

He walked towards me, smiling politely. "Alright. Come here."

I slowly stood up, stepping towards him. He placed his hands on my waist, holding me in place.

He locked eyes with me, "If it hurts, you tell me and I'll stop, okay?"

"Yes sir." I saluted teasingly.

His face dropped, "I'm serious, Y/N. I don't want to hurt you. Neither of us do."

"I know. I appreciate the concern." I sighed, "Just drink."

He nodded, cupping one side of my face gently. He turned my head so my neck was more exposed. He lowered his head into my throat, breathing me in for a moment. My heart skipped a beat, confused and overwhelmed. I hadn't realized how intimate this was going to be.

Suddenly, he opened his mouth, sinking his fangs in. I winced, grabbing his forearms to steady myself. He took a gulp of my blood, a very quiet moan falling from his lips. I could feel my blood leave my body, my life draining gradually. My legs began to go limp, unable to hold up my body weight. Sam caught me, pressing me closer into his warm embrace. He grunted, pulling his mouth away, licking up the excess blood that spilt from the bite.

"Are you okay, Y/N? Talk to me." He held my face, making me focus on him.

I slurred my words a bit, "I feel... okayyyy."

"Here, let's sit you down and give you some of my blood." Sam walked me to the couch, placing me down. He sat behind me, leaning me against him. He bit into his wrist, blood gushing from it. "Drink, Y/N."

He pressed his wrist to my mouth, forcing my lips to open. I tasted his blood, grimacing at the taste. But suddenly, it tasted amazing. Like everything sweet I had ever had rolled into one. I wrapped my lips over his bite, drinking from him quickly. I had never been this thirsty for something before in my life. It was like being on the brink of dehydration and finding a whole bottle of water. I placed my hands on the back of his arm, needing him more in my mouth.

"There you go, baby girl. Drink up." Sam cooed, rubbing my hair softly.

I moaned against him, my body buzzing. My one hand dropped down onto his thigh, gripping it. Erotic thoughts crowded my thoughts, another groan leaving my mouth.

He pulled his arm away, sitting me up instantly. "That's enough, Y/N. Don't want to get you high."

I felt a whine fall from my lips, embarrassment heating up my cheeks as I realized what I did. "Oh, um, shit. My bad, Sam. Sorry."

"No, you're okay," he assured me, standing up. "I've heard it's hard for humans to stop once they've started, so we kinda have to yank you away from us."

I could suddenly feel my damp underwear press against me, my face burning up more. "I-I get it. Thanks for doing that. It felt like I couldn't stop. A-Are you okay?"

"Yeah, already healed." He showed his wrist, the bite gone. "Make sure to drink plenty of water and eat something. You'll probably actually feel hungry soon."

I pursed my lips. "Thanks. I'll make sure to do that."

Sam took a few steps towards the door, stopping abruptly. He spun back, his eyes wide. "Oh my God, Y/N, I'm so sorry. I forgot to tell you something!"

I blinked, "What?

"Having our blood in your system... it might make you dream about us." He stated.

I chuckled, "Wait really? That's weird."

"Yeah. But um... the dreams might be a bit on the... sexual side?" He grimaced.

My face dropped, "What."

"That's what some people, girls, have said to us in the past," he mentioned. "I don't know if it's true, but it can happen. So I just want you to be aware."

I mumbled, "Would have been nice to know about this beforehand..."

Sam replied, his expression softened. "I apologize, really. It just slipped my mind. I haven't drank from someone directly in a while so I totally forgot."

"Hey, it's alright. It's just a dream." I added, "It might not even happen."

He grinned, "Exactly."

~~\ /~~\ /~~

It happened.

It very much happened.

The dream itself was odd, all over the place, and I barely remembered any of it. All I knew was that I woke up hot, sweating, and aching to be fucked. By specifically Sam. That, tied with literally soaking my underwear as he drank from me.... I was not excited to keep this job up.

Even if the pay was phenomenal.

But maybe things would get easier. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad after we got into a routine.

The next day they told me that they would make sure to have one of them only feeding on me once a day, that was I wasn't 'overworked'. Sam would go on even days, Colby on odds. And today was odd.

It was midday, the boys already a couple hours into their meet and greet. I waited backstage in a small hallway, scrolling through Instagram. Colby hadn't drank from me, and I wondered if he even planned to.

I heard footsteps coming towards me, heavy on the heel. I looked up and spotted Colby. He gave me a light smile, growing closer to me.

"Hey, are you okay? Shouldn't you be out on stage meeting fans?" I questioned, squinting at him.

"We are. We're taking a ten minute break." He responded, pressing his back against the wall by me.

"Oh, that's good. You guys have been at it for..." I checked my watch, "Four hours, wow."

Colby interrupted, "I know this is last minute to ask you, but can I... get a drink?"

"Right here? Now?" I pointed to the hallway.

"Yeah. No one is coming down this hallway. Security is making sure of that." He stated firmly.

I lowered my voice, "Do they know?"

"Of course." He bit his lip, "I'm sorry to do this right now, but I'm worried if I wait until after, I might... snap, on someone."

My eyes widened, "Oh... We wouldn't want that."

"No, we would not." He laughed nervously.

"Um, yeah. Go ahead." I stood up, taking a deep breath as I looked at him.

"Here, put your hands on my shoulders. I don't want you to fall over." He directed.

"Okay." I giggled, doing what he said. He lightly placed his hands on my hips, pushing closer to me. I did my best not to shudder, his closeness making my heart erratic. I turned my neck towards the wall, feeling his breath fan across my skin. I inhaled, and felt his teeth sink in quickly. I gasped, the pain lasting for a moment. I cupped his shoulders hard as he drank from me, slowly draining my blood into himself. He hummed, his hands slipping up my back and pulling me in deeper. I sighed, pleasure taking over my senses.

It felt good to have Colby this close, to feel him drink from me. That thought alone made my heart skip.

Colby pulled away, looking at me hesitantly, "Are you okay? I heard your heart stop for a second."

"Wha? Yeah, I'm fine." I could feel my hands tremble, "I think I forgot to breathe."

"Well, take some of my blood." He bit his wrist, pushing it towards me.

"I don't know, I think I'm okay." I argued half-heartedly.

"Drink, Y/N. Don't be stubborn." Colby smirked playfully at me.

I glared back sassily, leaning towards his bite. I placed my mouth on it as he pressed it further into my mouth. His hand rested softly on my side as my body turned into him, my back pressing against his front. As I spun, his hand drifted lower, touching the top of my thigh.

I sucked his blood down, the sweetness driving me crazy immediately. It was different from Sam's, but just as addictive. He chuckled deeply at my eagerness, allowing me to wrap my hands around his arm to keep him close.

"It's okay darling. Drink up. I'm not going anywhere." He whispered low.

My blood raced at his words, a whimper falling from my lips. I could feel it again, the ache between my legs. But this time I didn't care. All I could think about was his blood, or his cock. And both were making me wet.

He pulled back suddenly, a 'pop' noise echoing off the fluorescent lighted walls from my mouth. "Y/N, while I would allow you to drink from me for forever, I gotta get back."

"I-I-I," I took a deep breath, getting my bearings again, "Yeah. That's, um, probably for the best."

"Are you okay? Do you need me to stay with you?" He questioned, looking me over.

"No. Go ahead. I'll be alright." I confirmed.

He pressed his forehead against mine sweetly, "Hey, I'm sorry we didn't tell you sooner about the whole dream thing. How was it last night? Did you dream of Sam?"

I stepped back, blushing. "N-No. No, I didn't. I honestly can't remember my dream."

He beamed, "Well that's good. Maybe it will be the same tonight."

I nodded. "Hopefully."

~~\ /~~\ /~~

We were over a week into this arrangement and I felt like I was losing my mind.

Every day one of them was feeding on me, and every night I had a dirty dream about them. It didn't matter if I only had a sip of their blood or a lot. If their blood was in my system, I was dreaming about them fucking me senseless. And that's all I wanted. I couldn't even look at them without feeling like I wanted to rip their clothes off and beg them to fuck me.

It was embarrassing, tormenting, and made me feel insane. And also incredibly hot.

Luckily tonight was our first night off of the tour. We decided to all go out to eat and drink once it got late. Sam and Colby told me that they planned to find someone else to feed on, or possibly hit up a local blood bank, so I could rest easy tonight knowing they weren't going to feed on me.

God knows I needed the break...

Even though Sam and Colby's blood had been out of my system for a day, I still felt this overwhelming urge to fuck them. I couldn't deny that feeling this way left me confused beyond belief. Sure, they were good looking guys, and at times I had thought about kissing them or what it would be like to date them, but I never gave it more than a passing thought. But now all I could think about was them inside of me, taking me and doing what they wan-

No. No. No. Not tonight. Tonight I would relax, unwind, and drink.

And I did just that. I drank, and drank, and drank. The world felt a little off balance, a bit too spinny for my liking. I leaned against the wall of the bar, staring at the dance floor lights.

Sam sauntered over to me, "Heyyy, Y/N. You okay?"

"I'm Gucci, my dude," I snickered. I pointed at his drink, "Wait, vampires can get drunk?"

"Oh yeah. Especially since we didn't drink tonight." He admitted, then laughed. “Did you think we were acting all those times you saw us at parties plastered?”

"What really? I thought you guys planned to get some from..." I waved my hand around, "somewhere."

"We were, but it was a bust. Or our connection fell through." He shrugged it off, "But don't worry, we'll figure it out."

"I mean... you could always drink from me." I responded, ignoring the dull ache in my stomach.

He shook his head, "No, no. This is your night off. You deserve it. Don't worry about us."

I raised an eyebrow at him, "Are you sure?"

"Of course, Y/N." He confirmed.

Colby stumbled over to us, saying something in Sam's ear. "Hey, we're gonna head back to the hotel. You ready to leave?"

"Actually... yeah. I think I've drank enough tonight." I giggled, walking through the crowd to the exit with Sam and Colby.

"Well, if you need to sober up a bit, our blood could help." Colby stated.

I huffed, "It's my night off."

"...From being drank from," Colby chuckled. "But if you want our blood, you can have some. Take your pick."

I glanced at the both of them, sighing. "How about we wait until we're back at the hotel, yeah? Then I'll figure that out."

The ride home was tense, or at least it was for me. I felt like both boys were looking at me, waiting for me to make my choice. My skin grew hot under their stare, the ache coming back again.

C'mon. This was supposed to be my one night off.

Entering the hotel, the boys locked arms with me gently, helping me to the elevator.

I smiled lazily, "You don't need to help me. I'm not that drunk."

"Really? You sure about that?" Sam smirked.

"Trust me." I mumbled, "I sobered up in the car."

“Well that's good. But you should still have some of our blood.” Colby persisted.

The elevator 'dinged' softly, the doors opening slowly. I walked down the hallway towards my room, the boys following right behind me. I pulled out my key card, swiping it and yanking open my door.

I whined, trying to pull my shoes off to no avail. "Remind me to never get drunk in heels again. It sucks." I flopped down on the bed, groaning into the cover.

"So, do you want us to leave? We can always do this in the morning." Sam asked.

I picked my head up, "No, it's okay. I'll be honest, I still haven't made a decision about who to drink from."

"Well take a second if you want to." Colby spoke.

"There's no need." I sat up, turning to them. "I don't want to do it out of order so... drink from me first."

He frowned. "What? No, it's your day off."

"It's fine, Colby. I know it is, but you guys didn't eat... drink, today." I assured him.

Colby looked over at Sam accusingly, and he shrugged. "I accidentally let it slip."

"You usually are a blabbermouth when you're drunk." I teased.

Colby shook his head, "We'll be fine."

"I mean... maybe we should drink, if she's okay with it." Sam argued lightly.

"I am okay with it. Plus, you'll just give me your blood anyway. So then we'll be even." I remarked.

Colby's expression softened, Sam's face matching his. "Are you sure? I don't want you to do this if you don't want to."

"I totally don't mind, guys. Really." I insisted.

Colby paused for a minute, then nodded. "Okay, but we're only taking a little from you."

"That's fine by me." I stood up, swaying back and forth as my lightheadedness faded. The boys placed hands on my back, keeping me from falling.

Sam snorted, "Yeah, we're definitely only taking a little."

They gave each other a glance, Sam sliding towards me first. I gazed at him, snaking my eyes across his face, then tilted my head back.

His voice came out in a husky whisper, "Aren't you eager..."

I rolled my eyes, "Just do it before I change my-"

My breath hitched, Sam's fangs sinking deep into my skin. I grabbed his arms, bracing myself as he drank from me. He grunted lowly, his body firmly against mine.

I peered out of the corner of my eye, watching Colby watch us. He studied my face, taking in my expression. My eyes fluttered as Sam pulled away, stopping much sooner than he usually would.

"Fuck... I needed that." He wiped his mouth, making sure to lick the excess blood off his hand. My core throbbed at his actions. I bit my lip to keep from moaning. "Your turn, Colby."

He locked eyes with me, "You good?"

I stammered, "S-Sure. Go ahead."

"Let me know if it's too much, okay?" He uttered.

I nodded, moving my head to the other side and allowing him access. He lowered his mouth onto my neck, biting softly. I exhaled, my hands holding onto his arms. He took a few sips from me, then pulled back. "Wait, let me get a better angle."

I squinted at him, confused. He circled around, stopping behind me. His hands slithered to my hips, tugging me closer.

"Much better." He grunted, then sank his teeth into me hastily. I gasped, surprised by the force.

I looked up at Sam, his eyes gazing at us with a devilish glint. He cocked his head to the side, slinking over to us inch by inch. "I think you should take some of my blood now, Y/N. Before you get too light headed."

He bit into his wrist, placing it in front of me. "Drink up."

I leaned forward some, taking his blood into my mouth. I sighed, euphoria hitting me instantly. I had never had one of them drink from me while the other gave me blood. My mind was race, my heart pounding loudly against my chest. My body in flames from pleasure and pain. And I couldn't tell which one I liked more.

Sam's fangs dazzled in the light as he spoke, "Oh, Colby. We forgot to tell her something again."

Colby released his mouth from my neck, swallowing, "And what could that be Sam?"

Sam's eyes landed on mine, almost empty of feeling, "When you exchange blood like this with us... it makes you ours."

I furrowed my brow at him, keeping my mouth on his wound. My voice came out muffled, "Ours?"

"Yeah. Ours. See, we might have deceived you a little bit." Sam shrugged.

"Our bad." Colby snickered.

"He and I have been into you for a while, Y/N. But we knew you only ever saw us as a friend. Plus, we didn't want to have to fight over you so we thought the best course of action would be to just... make you both of ours." Sam grinned evilly, "And God, you made it so easy. Just following along without question."

Colby pressed his lips against my ear, keeping his voice deep and low. "With our blood running through your system, you will always be ours. You will be just as obsessed with us as we are with you."

My mind and body barely took their words in, the only thing I wanted was more of Sam's blood. My cunt pulsed as his blood invaded my system, my mind only thinking of him and all of the things I wanted him to do to me.

Sam yanked his wrist away, a desperate mewl escaping my mouth.

My mind was foggy, my head catching up to what I just heard. "W-W-What? Are you guys-?"

Colby spun me, pushing me back into Sam. He wrapped his arm around me tight, biting into my neck. Colby did the same to his wrist, placing my mouth on it. I grunted against him, glaring at him for a moment before all of my anger melted into pure bliss.

Colby's blood mixed with Sam's... and suddenly I wanted nothing more than for both of them to take me. God I could almost feel them inside of me, touching me in all the right spots.

"There you go, baby. Such a good girl for us." Colby smirked.

Sam pulled his mouth away, just to place it against the hollow of my ear, "Our good girl."

I could feel some of my mind come back to me for a split second. I hissed against Colby's wrist, "Fuck you."

He scoffed, "Sweetheart, you can say that all you want, but I know deep down you don't mean it. Well, you don't mean it in that way."

"Don't lie to us, baby girl." Sam sang angrily, latching his mouth back onto my bite.

"You know how we know that? I've heard you every night of this tour moan our names in your sleep. I've heard the way you whimper and cry and beg for us to fuck you when you touch yourself," Colby growled, his eyes intense as they bore into mine. "Don't deny it, Y/N.

Sam yanked back his mouth as Colby pulled his wrist away. I panted, keeping my distance from them and pressing myself against the desk. They stared me down, taking me in like prey.

My legs were shaking, my body tingling everywhere. I felt like I was on fire from the inside out. I had never been so wet in my entire life. I wanted to scream at them, to hate them, to tell them to leave. But everything in my head and body were begging them to stay; to touch me.

Sam stepped towards me, closing the gap between us, "You're ours, Y/N. Doesn't that sound amazing? To be shared by us?"

I couldn't help but nod my head. I wanted to deny it, but it wasn't true.

"No one else can have you like this. Only us." Sam whispered into my ear, turning my head gently to look at him. He leaned in and kissed me deeply, taking my breath away with the feverish kiss. My hand dug into his shirt, holding on it as his tongue tasted mine.

I was ripped away from his kiss as Colby pushed himself against me. He cupped my face, rolling my head towards him. "Only us," he stated. He pressed his lips to mine, his mouth and tongue tender against my own. I whined as I felt Sam begin to kiss my neck, nibbling and sucking on the skin. I could hear him murmur 'ours' over and over again.

Colby removed his mouth from mine, following Sam's lead in kissing and nipping at my neck and body. I was overwhelmed, my chest rising and falling rapidly. I squeezed my eyes shut, still feeling Sam and Colby snake up and down my body with their hands and mouths. A breathy groan escaped my lips, my mind unable to slow down. If they touched the right spot, I would completely come undone.

I needed them. I wanted them. I would do anything for them.

The sound of silence fell over the room. Then, a low ringing took over my hearing. Soon it grew louder and louder and louder. I popped my eyes open, gasping.

I was in my hotel room, and it was bright outside. The ringing was my alarm on my phone going off - 9:30 A.M.

I sat up, my head weighing a thousand pounds. I was in my clothes from the night before, but tucked comfortably into bed.

How the fuck did I get here? Where the hell were Sam and Colby?

It suddenly dawned on me - Oh my God, that was a dream?

There's no way. That felt too real. That can't be right.

I changed quickly, knowing that Sam and Colby would be waiting for me in the lobby so we could travel to the next venue. I never unpacked, so I threw my dirty clothes in my suitcase, and trudged out the door with everything I had brought.

I stumbled down to the lobby, finding Sam and Colby waiting off to the side for me with their luggage. Their assistant was talking to them, along with someone from Zumiez's team, about the upcoming meet and greet.

Colby beamed when he saw me, "Hey, we were wondering if you were gonna make it."

"What happened last night?" I glared.

Sam turned at the sound of my voice, "Do you not remember...?"

"Just tell me what happened. Please." I answered, short.

Colby inhaled, "Well, we planned to... continue drinking in your room. But once we got there, you flopped on your bed and passed out."

"We figured you were too tired after all the traveling and drinking that we just decided to call it a night." Sam added.

Colby commented, "I took your shoes off before tucking you in. I know you hate falling asleep with heels on."

"Oh." I vaguely remembered falling onto my bed. And my shoes were off when I woke up… "I could have sworn something else happened."

Colby gasped lowly, "Did you have a dream about us?"

I immediately blushed, "Um, you could say that."

"What was it about? Tell me." He pleaded.

"I don't think you want to know, to be honest. I squirmed under their gaze, doing my best to ignore the parts of the dream my body couldn't forget. "It was kind of all over the place. And you guys were a bit... mean, to say the least."

"Oh, shit. Well, sorry that my dream self was an asshole to you." Colby apologized.

Sam agreed, "Ditto."

I half smiled, exhaling. "Thanks. I appreciate it."

"Of course, Y/N. You're our..." Sam smiled, "best friend. We would never be mean to you."

"Unless you want us to be, of course." Colby taunted, a mischievous look in his eye.

[buckys-little-belle]

Could you do a Bucky barns fic with a little reader who is really scared to ask for things? (No pressure ofc)

Bunny's Carrots

Bucky Barnes x Little!Reader (They/Them Pronouns Used)

Warnings - Reader is anxious when it comes to asking for things they want, Bucky's Winter Soldier past is mentioned vaguely, but the words "Murder, Kill, and Maim" are used in a sentence, Talks of reader eating carrots

Notes - This is short, and I don't know if I'm really happy with it, but I hope it's good and that y'all like it! <3

SFW - Please keep all interactions with this post, and this blog, SFW!

. ☆ . ☾ . ☆ . ☽ . ☆ . ☾ . ☆ . ☽ . ☆ .

Bucky got a payout from the legal team that was dealing with what was left of HYDRA. It was a big payout, one he felt guilty for. He had been the one to kill, hurt, maim, he had done the damage to so many people and yet he was getting "we're sorry" money. It felt wrong, and weird.

But when Y/n came into his life, the weight of the money became lighter. He no longer felt guilty spending the money when he spent it on you. In his mind the money wasn't a reward for following orders all those years, it was a reward for living long enough to find his Bunny.

So he often bought them things, cute magnets he found while out and about, sheets of stickers he thought they might like, and any time he passed a display that held some sort of bunny related item he laid down his debit card.

Y/n enjoyed the gifts, being spoiled was new for them, and they found ever gift to be meaningful because Bucky himself had picked it out.

But Bucky didn't like the way Y/n never asked for anything. They were happy to receive his gifts but they never asked for anything specific. He liked providing for them, but he wanted to make their dreams come true too, instead of just offloading new gifts on top of them.

"I'm off to the store, Bunny!" Bucky called from the foyer of his and Bunny's home. The home he bought for them so the two of them could have a safe space away from the city. "Do you want anything?" He asked. It was going to be a quick trip, just down the street to grab some bread for that night's dinner.

Bunny peaked their head out of the living room, a marker still in their hand from colouring. "No, I'm good, Daddy." They smiled, wandering over to him to give him a hug before he left.

"You're always "good", Bunny." Bucky sighed, pulling them in closer. "Is there a snack I can get you? Some new type of juice? Anything."

"I don' need anythin'." Y/n smiled up at him.

"I know you don't need anything, Bunny." He cooed, hand running over their head. "But do you want anything?"

"You always ask tha'." Bunny giggled.

"And you never seem to want anything." He countered.

"Jus' need you, and my Bunny, an tha's it!" They smiled.

"Bunny, what do you want from the store?" Bucky decided he wasn't going to back down this time. He needed to get his Bunny used to asking for what they wanted, he needed them to start asking for more than just their needs. "I'm not leaving until you think of something." He laid down the law.

"This unfair." Bunny pouted. "Don' need anythin'!" They began to show their unrest.

"No, you don't need, anything, but do you want something?" He asked again, not letting the subject drop.

"Maybe." Y/n shrugged their shoulders.

"What do you want?"

"Maybe som' carrots? To snack on when I colour?" They whispered. "Please?"

"Good job, Bunny." Bucky pulled them in for a big squeeze. "I'll get you some carrots at the store."

"Tha' was hard." Y/n pouted again.

"I know, Bunny." Bucky soothed, rubbing soft circles on their back. "But you did a good job asking for what you want." He laughed. "It'll get easier the more you do it."

"'m never doin' it again." Y/n huffed.

"We'll see about that." Bucky smiled, giving them a forehead kiss goodbye.

It had taken a year and a half for Bunny to ask for something they wanted, and he assumed it would be another few months before he could get them to ask again. But he was a patient man, who would help them work on vocalizing their wants.

He was proud of his Bunny, knowing it was hard for them to ask for a want, knowing they often struggled with putting themself first. But this showed great progress, and Bucky was excited to see them break out of their shell more and more. Thankful that they trusted him enough to let him push them out of their comfort zone.

Baby carrots, here he comes.

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Someone New 3

No tag lists. Do not send asks or DMs about updates. Review my pinned post for guidelines, masterlist, etc.

Warnings: this fic will include angst, pining, romcom tropes, and some darker elements later in the series. Some triggers may not be specifically tagged. My warnings are not exhaustive, enter at your own risk.

This fic will contain explicit content. 18+ only. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Summary: You’ve had a crush on your best friend for years, but you’re slapped in the face with reality when he takes things to the next level with his girlfriend.

Characters: Steve Rogers, Thor

Note: why am I so anxious all the time?

As per usual, I humbly request your thoughts! Reblogs are always appreciated and welcomed, not only do I see them easier but it lets other people see my work. I will do my best to answer all I can. I’m trying to get better at keeping up so thanks everyone for staying with me.

Your feedback will help in this and future works (and WiPs, I haven’t forgotten those!) Please do not just put ‘more’. I will block you.

I love you all immensely. Take care. 💖

If Peggy’s party promised everything would change, the ‘yes’ you give to Arturo pays on that promise. Almost at once, everything is different. Your boring, orderly life is suddenly thrown into chaos. You have a hundred worries at once and not enough times; passport, visa, packing, flights. Not too mention all that you’re leaving behind; apartment, furniture, and... friends. 

It’ll be good. You keep telling yourself that, just like Arturo, just like Sam. They seem more excited than you are. You struggle to see past the grief of saying goodbye to the life you built there; the life you built around Steve and false hopes. It’s foolish and naive but it still hurts. 

And you’re scared. Norway. It’s far away. And you’ll be all alone. You survived college because you found Steve; you could stomach the furor of the city for Sam and Bucky, but on your own, what could you do? You’re not brave or bold or anything like that. 

It doesn’t matter. You’re going to work. To forget. Focus on the dig, don’t think about everything else. 

You’ve already lost so much. Steve’s busy, you are too. Maybe that’s good. You have to condition yourself for the trip. For a new life. A year is a long time. You feel like the newly graduated teen heading off to college, the one who walked into the wrong lecture hall on that fated day, the one he picked out and put firmly in her place; a friend, just a friend. 

As you sort through your closet, tossing fabric into one pile or the other, your music stops playing and your phone buzzes loudly against your nightstand. You hurry to pick it up as that noise makes your neck bristle. You hate it. 

You pick up without checking the display. You hope it’s the visa office. No, it’s Sam. 

“Hey, chicky poo,” he chirps from the other end. 

“Chicky poo?” You echo flatly. 

“Hm, you’re right, I’ll keep workshopping,” he chuckles, “so you’re leaving in a week?” 

“As long as my paperwork shows up,” you sighs and cross your arm over your middle. You sway as you look around at the clutter of your bedroom. “And I can get all this shit out of my place.” 

“When’s your flight?” He asks pointedly. He’s not subtle. Men never are. For years, you’d hoped Steve was being subtle and look how that turned out. You know now he was so obviously not into you.  

“Thursday, 5am,” you answer. 

“Ah, that’s pretty early to be hungover but it will be worth it.” 

“Hungover?” You wonder as you slowly sit on your bed, “why?” 

“You’re leaving us so obviously, you need a final hurrah,” he insists, “I’m throwing you a going away party. Just the four of us, unless you have any plus ones?” 

“Going away party?” 

“Neither of the other jerks are gonna do it,” he scoffs, “nothing fancy, promise. Just some drinks.” 

“What about Tuesday? Give me a day to recover?” 

“Wednesday works. Steve’ll be back by then.” 

“Back by then?” You must sound like a parrot. 

“Oh, yeah, the lovers went up north to look at venues for the engagement party. Too bad you won’t make it. I’ll have to drink myself into a stupour all by myself,” he intones. 

“Yeah, sorry about that,” you grumble and pick at a wrinkle in your pants. 

“Don’t be sorry. You deserve this. I’m so fucking excited for you,” he chimes, “you have to tell me everything. I want pictures of vikings and castles and stuff. All of it.” 

“Sam, I’m just going to be digging,” you mutter. 

“And? You can’t just go over there an put your head down. Go sightseeing, go out on the town, have a wild one-night stand--” 

“Sam,” you drone. 

“You need it,” he cackles, “it’ll be a story to bring home with ya. Make us all jealous with your wild Norwegian adventure. Hey,” he pauses and sucks his teeth, “you’re like Uno reversing a whole country. Vikings used to invade others, this is your chance to go right in there and raise hell.” 

“You’re stupid,” you laugh and shake your head. 

“Never said otherwise.” 

“Hm, fine, Wednesday,” you agree, “if I'm gonna be there, I gotta get all this shit packed.” 

“Did I not say if you need anything? I can help,” he offers. 

“No, no, I got it,” you say, “really, it’s not that much.” 

“Right, well, I should get back to it and let you do the same,” he says in a resigned tone. 

You hang up and heave. You put the phone down and drop your head into your hands. You feel like you should cry. You’ve felt that tide of tears pushing on your eyes since the party but they just won’t come. All that tension is driving you mad but you just can’t dislodge the nail driven deep into your chest. 

💟

Your life is hectic but you’re not surprised Steve isn’t part of the whirlwind. Why would he be? He has so much going on. A wedding is much more important than what could possibly be the most spontaneous and naive decision of your life. Impulsive more than anything. Cowardly when you think about it. You’re running away because you can’t face the truth. Because it’s just easy to leave your emotions in New York. 

Still, you thought you’d hear more than this. More than a thumbs up emoji or hearsay from Sam. Even after your conversation on the balcony and his reassurances, you still feel his discontent. Will he really miss you that much or is he just upset you won’t be there to celebrate the love of his life? 

It doesn’t matter, does it? 

It’s gone so fast and you hope the next year goes just as quickly. That all this passes. Not just the trip but everything else. The sadness, the pain, the fear. You try to be positive. You thought college was scary and look how that turned out. 

Ugh, you’re really doing this. You're leaving is all behind. You’re leaving your friends and your family and your home. You have no one to blame but yourself. You could’ve gotten over Steve Rogers a decade ago. More than that. You couldn’t rip the band-aid off, you had to pull it slow so ever hair rends painfully from the flesh. 

The GPS guides you between the shining marquee. You can see the pulsing dot of your destination on the screen. You don’t drive towards it, instead hunting for a parking spot among the cramped lots and lined curbs. You should’ve taken a cab but you’re only having one drink and you’re saving for the inevitable expense of hurling yourself halfway across the world. 

You get out and grab your phone, your purse hooked over your elbow. You raise the small screen and get your bearings, squinting as you set yourself in the right direction. Just across and at the end. 

As you approach the bar, you stop short. This isn’t exactly the flavour. Well, not for them. You peer up at the neon light in the shape of a martini, a bright pink beacon, under which a large group of women cluster. Whoops and hollers go up as they enter and leave you standing out in the technicolour-tinted night. Did you get the address wrong? 

You check your messages with Sam. No, it’s correct. Strange. Maybe he didn’t know. 

You pull open the violet-shaded glass door and peer around as you step out of the way of the patrons behind you. You text Sam to check if he’s there already. You can’t seem to keep up with the clock hands these days.  

As you wait for a response, you glance around. It’s like a Sex and the City reenactment. The guys always teased you for your rants about Carrie Bradshaw’s selfishness. They weren’t much for the genre. With them, it’s sports bars and beers and what ball game is in season. They never notice your cute new earrings or your efforts to spruce up your work clothes with a flashy belt. 

‘Here. You’re looking cute.’ Sam’s response comes.  

You narrow your eyes and stand on your toes to look around. He’s sitting at a tall table with Bucky, the two of them looking out of place before the feathered centerpiece and glitzy wall art of high heels. You can’t help a grin. This is absolutely ridiculous. 

You weave through the tables and bodies, past the bar of gabbing girl groups and a few men mixed in. You near your friends and claim one of the tall stools around the round table. You use the bottom bar to haul yourself up onto the seat and hang your purse from your knee. 

“Hey, this place is... sparkly,” you look around with a dumb smile. You can’t help it! You never get a girls’ night. 

“It is,” Bucky agrees in a grit. 

You stop short. You look at him then at Sam. You didn’t notice before. They’re wearing bows on their heads. Sam has a head band with a gregariously big pink ribbon, whereas Bucky has a glittering purple bow pinned into his thick locks. You laugh and smother it behind your hands. 

“What is this?” You snicker. 

“We are your ladies tonight!” Sam announces and shifts to stand, bending under the table, “and you get to be queen bee!” He reaches to the floor and you lean to see the huge tote underneath, “here is your tiara!” 

He pulls out the plastic tiara with fake pink gems and white feathers. You giggle again as he places it on your head. This is too much. 

“Sam! How—this is so stupid. You didn’t have to do all this.” 

“What? It’s about time. Don’t worry about us. It’s all about you,” he snaps his finger and points at you, “we’re going to order girly cocktails and dish on the cute dudes.” 

Bucky shakes his head as he fixes the bow in his hair, “I wanted a flower.” 

You bring your hands down to your next and wiggle on the seat giddily. This is amazing. Your eyes sting and your throat locks up. You’re going to miss these idiots. 

“You guys,” you breathe. 

“No crying!” Sam claps his hand, “I already got this guy moping around.” 

“I’m not moping,” Bucky sniffs. 

“We have to decide who’s who. I know you hate Carrie so we’ll save that for Steve. He is the stuck up blond, after all,” Sam smirks, “I’m definitely Samantha, it’s already in my name. And you,” he points at you, “Miranda. The level-headed one who has to put up with our BS. That means Bucky--” 

“Charlotte?” Bucky frowns, “can’t I be Stanford?” 

You nearly gasp, “Bucky, are you a stan?” 

“I’ve seen some episodes,” he shrugs. 

“Well, that’s decided,” Sam checks his watch, “where’s that bozo?” 

You frown and look around. You look at your phone. You were just on the cusp but Steve is late. Bucky takes out his cell too and all three of you scroll through your screens. 

“Whatever, we don’t have to wait for him, drinks,” Sam blacks the screen and sets down his phone. He reaches for the pink pleather drink menu, “I was looking at the Paradise Punch. Sounds interesting.” 

“Mm, I’m just having one,” you state, “I gotta drive home.” 

“Pfft, don’t worry about it. You can get your car tomorrow.” 

“Sam, I leave at five in the morning.” 

“Fine, I’ll take care of the car. You’re storing it, aren’t you?” 

“I wouldn’t expect--” 

“Tonight is going to be fun. No arguing,” he points a long finger at you. 

The phone jitters and his phone lights up. He picks it up as your cell remains lifeless in a rare moment of peace, though it’s fraught nonetheless. You peek over at the empty fourth stool. 

“He’s not coming,” you utter. 

Sam huffs and puts his phone down, “he’s not. Peggy has a work dinner and he’s invited.” 

“Oh,” you nod and try not to deflate entirely, “that’s... that’s fine. He said he’d come to the airport but I wasn’t counting on that either.” 

“Asshole,” Sam sneers. 

“Hey, no,” you shake your head, “he’s busy. He has a wedding and all that--” 

“You’re going away,” Bucky surprises you with the emotion in his tone, “and he can’t be here.” 

“Really, it’s not--” 

“It is,” Sam insists. “How long are you gonna let him walk all over you? Isn’t that why you’re leaving?” 

“It’s work, it’s nothing to do with Steve.” 

“Sure,” Sam accepts hotly, “keep telling yourself that.” He cringes and swallows, “tonight isn’t about him. For once. It’s about you. Us. Having fun. Saying goodbye. It’s gonna be terrible without you. I hope you know that.” 

You could laugh at his rebuke. The conflict between celebratory and reproachful is amusing. You exhale and put your hands up. 

“Alright, I got it.” 

“Buck,” he gestures to the other man, “go.” 

You turn to the Bucky and he slides off his stool. He reaches down under the table and brings up a gift bag. Your mouth falls open. Your chest tweaks, a mixture of glee and guilt. You’re happy to have friends with them but you feel so bad for not seeing it earlier. For being so tunnel-visioned that you couldn’t appreciate them fully. 

“This is so—you didn’t have to,” you say. 

“We did. Obviously,” Sam scoffs, “don’t worry, my gift is the grand finale.” 

“Right,” you smile and accept the bag from Bucky. You push through the tissue paper and pull out the heavy shape inside. You reveal it and just as quickly hide it back in the polka dot bag, “Bucky!” 

You let go of the taser and retract your hand. Sam guffaws and Bucky gives a confused grimace, “you need it.” 

“What?” You hiss. 

“You’re going to be all alone over there. You should be safe.” 

“I... appreciate the thought but it’s a bit extreme.” 

“He’s right,” Sam adds, “you know, going to the land of the vikings, you can never be too safe. I’ve heard they like to carry women off in their boats.” 

“You two,” you roll your eyes. 

“My turn,” Sam says, “you’ll love this.” 

He once more searches under the table and the tote crinkle. He pulls out an envelope and you tilt your head. Really? 

“Money?” You wonder. 

“What am I? Your grandma?” He snorts, “here.” 

You take the envelope and turn it over. You pull the flap open and reveal a pamphlet within, along with a second slip of paper. A reservation... 

“I found this place over there. It’s at some coastal castle, there’s a spa and all that. They do like ancient types of treatments, hot rocks or whatever,” he explains, “I made sure you can adjust the dates too if you need. You just have to call.” 

“Wow, that’s... Sam, I’m going to be so busy--” 

“I told you not to work yourself too hard. That’s a good excuse for you to get your head out of the dirt. Literally. Just think of me when you’re in a mud bath with a glass of champagne.” 

You put the envelope next to the gift bag and drop off the stool. You open your arms to them. Sam is up first and Bucky drags himself to his feet. You wrap them in a hug and they do the same in turn. It must be an absolutely ridiculous sight but you don’t care. You tuck your head against Sam’s arm and feel a rumble in Bucky’s chest. 

“Sam, that’s my ass,” Bucky snarls. 

“I was just making sure you didn’t forget your wallet,” Sam chuckles. 

“You’re a moron,” Bucky pulls away and shoves him. 

“Peas in a pod, bud,” Sam lets you go as the hug breaks up, “now, I need a drink and you...” he points in your direction, “need a double.” 

[xoxo-ren-xoxo]

Hermitcraft / Life Series Fic Recs

Because I love so many of them...

I'll split the fics into completed and updating fics, and try to only recommend currently updating fics (i.e., not abandoned). I'm going to write a little about why I like each fic and what the general vibes are - so this is also a kind of review I guess?

I've tried to @ the authors if they have a public tumblr. Sorry to anyone who didn't want to be tagged, I can remove any @ if you ask (or if I have embarrassingly tagged the wrong person). Anyway, enjoy, and I appreciate reblogs because I want as many people to see these fics as possible!!

This ended up being incredibly long so I'm putting a divider here. Click to keep reading!!! Also, fair warning: shipping ahead! Some fics will have mild sexual content, please read the tags if you are unsure <3

Updating Fics

I have already recommended Help Me To Breathe, lost in the dark (he's got a heavy heart), and There Are Monsters Nearby in this post, so I won't explain why I like them a second time, but definitely check them out!!

Death's A Good Gig by @mawofthemagnetar is probably going to be finished by the time this post gets to you, reader, but I'm putting it here anyway. It's short and sweet, one of my favourite representations of Zedaph (or, Zedeath) I've read, and just a joy to experience. If you like grim reapers and discussions of unions, this one is for you. Also I need more Zedaph in my life.

Look, I'm Sorry, Please Stop Scaring Everyone by @cat-in-the-desert reminds me a lot of a particular TV drama I liked when I was younger, which followed a similar premise. This fic follows Mumbo (vampire) and Grian (ghost) as they get up to various housemate shenanigans and meet their local magic-expert and salesman Scar. This fic is fun, but still includes a nice amount of Feelings and hinted-at Angst which I really love. It's lighthearted, but never boring.

It Hurts To Hope by Inquillitory is my favourite of the "Grian crash lands into Hermitcraft and causes problems for everyone" genre. Seeing how many fics there are with that premise, I think that says a lot. It handles Grian's weird Watcher stuff really well. Honestly, I just want to know what happens next!

killing the boy in the tv by @raspberrystruck is like a sickfic on steroids. If you want Grian with so much past trauma he forgets how to function in society, this is basically the fic for you. I really love how hybrid traits affect the characters' interactions in this fic, and how everyone is kind of messed up because of the imbalance Grian brings. It is wonderfully descriptive in all the right places!

Love Me Like I'm Dead by @daniofcrows is such a gem. You know how hard it is to find good Xisuma whump? It's impossible. I absolutely love how Xisuma and Evil X are characterised in this, and I am obsessed with the unique take on hanahaki disease which I have never seen handled in this way before. The balance between flashbacks and present day is maintained wonderfully and I cannot wait to continue reading this one. Wow.

Oh, you wanted me to do a verse? by @bugbbear is... kind of indescribable. It's horror. It's comedy. It's the apocalypse. It's boatem. Scar eats someone. One of the most interesting and unique apocalypse stories I have read. Slowly updating but worth the wait, in my opinion. This one NEEDS more attention.

So Much For Stardust by @a-plethora-of-peters is basically one of my all-time favourites. Which is a damn good achievement seeing as I don't usually read ZITS fics. Like, ever. In this fic, Skizz is a human abducted and hurt badly by aliens, now recovering in the care of good aliens who don't know how 'sentient' he is. Every update of this one makes me smile, it is wonderful. I love how the characters are written and how the different perspectives are shown. It is just great.

Solar Waltz by @raspberrystruck and aroundtheclock is a brilliant and very very sad regression fic. I love fluffy regression fics as much as the next guy, but this one just... hits different. The hurt/comfort levels are off the charts. Grian is so damn cute the whole time, while also being harrowingly complicated and sad. I am so ready for whatever comes next.

Tango's Castle of Cards by @evilrat-sabre is the one where Tango is a BUG. He's just a little guy (horror). This one is so beautifully written, with poetry-type interludes and perspective changes that really make everything feel so much more impactful. Finding out your buddy is a murder bug isn't the easiest thing in the world. I love this so much.

Traveling Thieves {Dark Fantasy AU} (series) by @amethystfairy1 is basically one of the series of all time. I know I keep saying that but it really really is. I love a good fantasy au, and I love an au with hybrids even more. In this world, hybrids are treated like slaves, but it isn't all doom and gloom for the main characters of each installment. There is a lot of hurt/comfort and the different stories feed into each other in really interesting ways. I try to read as much as I can, though I've missed a few because my emails are buggy. Definitely worth reading these fics, especially since now they're all starting to come together!

Completed Fics

Solving Counting Sheep by @theminecraftbee might have rearranged my brain chemistry a little. Another strong contender for 'fics that inspire me to kill Grian', this time with a more concrete notion of "replacement". Three is my favourite fucked up living weapon. It's so rare to find Evo fics in this day and age, too. This fic had me immediately clicking on every update as soon as I got the emails.

Rescue Fire by @imaginethat0327 is one of the most unique takes on a fictionalised life series game that I have ever read. The whole concept is explained in a realistic and easy-to-follow way, as we learn what's happening with the characters. There are several brilliant storylines happening in this one, but my particular favourites are Jimmy & Tango, Joel, and of course Scar & Grian. This fic is full of whump and, well, read the tags, it isn't always pleasant, but those are my favourite things ever. Definitely worth checking out this fic and its currently updating sequel.

don't you know about me? by takenbadgering is a wonderful comedy of errors with just the right amount of angst for a realistic setting type of fic. If you enjoy polyamory miscommunications, rave aesthetics, kandi, school teacher dynamics, and a lovely blend between grumbo, cubscar, and mumscar, this is the one.

Eventually the Birds Must Land by @milo-hypno follows a polyam ship I would have never thought of, and I cannot believe how much I loved it. This married-as-friends fic premise is wonderful, and captures the main trio (Grian, Mumbo, Impulse)'s personalities so well, while balancing them with the incredibly terrifying descriptions of the Watchers and their power. There's a lot of angst here, but it is ultimately hurt/comfort to the maximum degree. I loved reading it as it updated. Yay for gay marriage!

From The Archives (series) by @sixteenth-days was the absolute inspiration for my own Comms AU, and I will never forget its influence on me. As someone basically unfamiliar with TMA, I thought this series might be hard to follow, but it was not! I read all 57 parts in the span of two days, and I think it altered my brain chemistry. Please read it, even if (especially if) you don't know anything about TMA. The Cleo and Grian storyline lives in my head rent free. I mean it. This is horror at its finest. Also there's an audio series of this fic being released rn, which is very cool.

SUPERCRITICAL by @masque-of-plague hits different. It is such a wonderful take on the superhero/HotGuy trope, and it gets so super dark at some points! This one really takes swings at it's fictional government, which of course I love, while at the same time building this brilliantly emotional relationship between Scar and Grian. I do enjoy a bit of enemies to lovers, but the actual plot mixed into the story makes this one extra special. It is thrilling, with action that I don't get to see too often! Great work.

I am weary with contending! is one of the mumscarian fics of all time. From 'this house has people in it'-type horror, to magic gone wrong, to childhood trauma, to attempted assassination, to gender fuckery, this fic has it all. Usually I don't go for convex siblings, but this one is good enough to get a pass from me. Amazingly detailed worldbuilding alongside a brilliantly creative story.

It Spreads by @foxxology may not count as a fic, actually. It's a comic. But it's posted on ao3 so it counts. I was obsessed with this one as it was updating, honestly. It rocked me to my core. The art is phenomenal. The writing is brilliant. I love sculk.

Luck of the sea by Sleepy_Duck is a lovely take on mermaid and human interactions, with Grian as a marine life conservator and Scar as a very neglected mer. This one takes us emotionally in all sorts of directions, and offers lots of hope for the future of the characters. I heavily enjoyed this fic - if you like mermaids and marine biology, check it out.

there are many downsides to being a marine biologist by donnerstag is another mermaid fic but with a pretty different vibe. First of all, it follows what I would consider a rarepair Doc/Martyn. Second of all, reading this as it updated was a thrilling experience that nearly made me cry at certain points. I love how the relationship builds in this fic. It is honestly amazing. The whole idea of experimenting on a sentient sea creature, learning that he can communicate, then losing funding and having to save him from being dissected?!?! It's crazy. I love it.

Thus concludes my fic recommendations. I hope you enjoy at least some of these, and consider reblogging to spread these wonderful fics around <3

[slut4thebroken]

sex pollen

── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

Pairing | Jason Todd × vigilante!reader

Summary | You tried to help Jason when something went wrong on patrol, but it didn’t go the way you thought it would.

Warnings | Sexual content, 18+, unprotected sex, breeding, non consensual sex technically, cause he doesn’t know she likes it, multiple orgasms, ruined orgasms, public sex, rough sex, sex pollen, I want him to rail me like this tbh, angst, fluff.

Words | 3.6k

Notes | Finally posting the fic from this post hehe. If anyone mentions how the quality gets worse after the smut ends, I’ll cry. That’s a threat. (Also imagine that gif is him pinning you against a wall lmao)

Ao3 link | <3

Masterlist

“Jason?” You gasped as he used his body to press you against the dirty alley wall. Even through the suit his bulge was obvious. His helmet had been previously discarded and you shivered at the feeling of his breath against your lips. 

“Jason, what the hell are you doing?” You all but whimpered, making him growl and place a hand on your neck. 

“Stop fucking saying my name like that.” He hissed, pushing his hips harder into yours. Your breath hitched at the wild look in his eyes, the color almost completely gone. He squeezed his eyes shut and tightened his grip on your neck. The groan he released sounded pained and you wished you knew what was happening so you could help him. Suddenly ripping himself away from you, his hands went to his hair, pulling on the ends as he let out another pained moan. 

“Tell me what’s wrong. Tell me how to help.” You said softly, pushing yourself off the wall to grab his hands and remove them from his hair. He flinched away from your grip and took a step back. 

“Go.” He muttered, not looking at you. 

“What?”

“Go! I can’t- You…” His chest heaved as he tugged on his hair again. “You have to leave.” He gritted. 

“I’m not leaving you like this.” 

“I can’t control it! Please-” He cried. 

“Control what?” You took another step toward him and placed your hand on his cheek. His eyes snapped open and he roughly grabbed your wrist, pulling your hand off of his face. You stared at him in shock, not used to this behavior, and he squeezed his eyes shut as his grip tightened around your wrist, making you wince. When he opened them again, they were significantly darker. 

All of a sudden, he was doing a move he’s done to you a couple times during training, and you were flat on the floor in seconds. He turned you onto your stomach, then straddled your thighs, not being able to control the way his hips bucked forward, pushing his crotch against your ass. 

“Jason, what-“ As you tried to push yourself up, a strong hand pressed between your shoulder blades, forcing you back down with a grunt. He was rutting against your ass intentionally now, growling at the friction and pushing down on your back harder to make sure you couldn’t wriggle free. You could feel arousal pooling in your stomach from his behavior, not used to this side of him yet. 

You’ve been dating for a while now and while you are sexually active, so far you both have kept it pretty vanilla. You were scared he’d think you were disgusting or weird so you never talked about it. You only mentioned the more tame things like light bondage or choking, choosing to limit the hard kinks to your fantasies for when you’re alone. 

He quickly grew impatient and removed his hand as he shuffled down your legs just enough to have access to your ass. He took the skin tight fabric of your suit in both hands and ripped it apart, opening the entire crotch area. You let out a choked gasp that turned into a moan when he did the same thing with your underwear, ripping them in half so he had complete access. 

“Jason, what are you-“ A hand was on the back of your neck now, squeezing the sides and forcing your cheek into the dirty pavement. But you understood that it was a warning, so you stayed quiet, listening to fabric rustling behind you until you felt the blunt head of his cock against your folds. He didn’t bother teasing you like he normally would before breaching your hole with a low groan. You cried out, scrambling for purchase on the floor beneath you, struggling to adjust to his size without the usual amount of prep, despite how wet you were. But he paid no mind to it as he started rutting against you in shallow thrusts. 

“Fuck- I’m sorry,” He said through a moan. “I’m sorry, baby, I can’t help it- I just need this- need you.” He whined, desperately bucking his hips into you as he held you down. 

You tried to relax your body and not tense up around him, but the stretch burned almost painfully and you couldn’t help it. You just had to wait until you became aroused enough to loosen up a little. It didn’t seem like that would take long though- he’s always managed to hit the perfect spot inside you with little effort. Your clit throbbed desperately for stimulation but you couldn’t fit a hand between your body and the ground with him pinning you down. 

His thrusts became more frenzied and erratic as he neared his orgasm, far  sooner than normal, and part of you didn’t want it to be over yet but another part was glad your burning hole would get relief from the stretch soon.  

His thrusts slowed and he fucked you uncomfortably deep, pushing up against your cervix as hot come filled you up. You let out a low whine, listening to his moans and whimpers. 

“Jay?” You asked quietly, when he didn’t move or speak for a moment. You felt his cock twitch inside of you and he took a deep breath before dragging out and tentatively pushing back in. He cursed under his breath and picked up the pace, resuming the speed of his thrusts. You let out a choked sound in surprise and he moaned quietly, speeding up even more. 

“Fuck- I know. I’m sorry.” He replied to your strained whimpers. “It's not enough… It- it still hurts, baby, I’m sorry. Just a little more.” He whined. 

As he grew even needier, he started a brutal pace, slamming his hips against your ass with each thrust. His come made an obscene squelching sound as his cock forced it out of you, some falling down to your clit and some spattering onto the ground between your legs. 

You could feel yourself nearing an orgasm and you tried to force a hand under your body, but let out a whimper when you were unsuccessful. 

“Jay,” You sobbed, making him let out a choked moan. 

“Oh fuck- fuck your cunt is squeezing me so tight. You close, baby?” He moaned breathlessly and you nodded. 

“Jay, please.” You cried out. Despite his acknowledgment of your current state, he made no move to do anything else to get you there. He just moaned in response and fucked you harder, slamming into you almost painfully as he chased his second orgasm. His thrusts barely slowed as he came again, painting your fluttering walls with his seed. When he picked up the pace again, you let out a long needy whine, cunt aching for release. 

He seemed to grow only a little fatigued as he released your neck and completely laid over you, rutting into you desperately and moaning against your ear. 

“God- you feel so fucking good.” He moaned, rolling his hips and grinding against you. “Fuck.” He choked out, leaning up just enough to put you on your elbows so he could pull the zipper of your suit down to your stomach, freeing your breasts. He squeezed them roughly, making your breath hitch, but it was nothing compared to the treatment your nipples received. Desperate fingers worked them over- twisting and pinching them painfully, making sure to use his nails. When you cried out in pain, walls spasming around his length, he came again, lazily rutting into you to get the most out of his orgasm. 

“One more,” He gasped out. “Just need one more, baby, I promise.” He huffed, breath fanning your neck, making you shiver. He released your breasts then, more gently this time, pushed you down by your back, using it as leverage to fuck you faster and harder. The ground was rough against your sensitive nipples, making you hiss in pain but still clench around him. 

You were dangling over the edge with how close you were- your walls pulsing around him and your clit throbbing, in desperate need of attention. But he gave you no relief as he held you down- even your skin tight suit couldn’t give you any friction because of how far he ripped it. Where you could usually feel his balls slapping against you, you just felt air and come. You don’t know what happened to make him like this but his balls being this tight was maybe the only negative. 

The sound of his come being forced out was more obscene than before, and your cheeks burned from the humiliation, bringing you even closer to relief. 

“Oh- Jay, I’m-” You gasped out, feeling so fucking close to your orgasm. When he slammed into you with a loud moan, you fell over the edge, body twitching and walls spasming, but you let out an anguished cry when he didn’t continue the rough thrusts. He stopped and was only occasionally bucking into you as he came, making you try to move your hips under him to get more friction, but he was holding you completely still as his come filled you up for the fourth time. You let out a choked sob, your ruined orgasm bringing tears to your eyes, but he paid no mind to it as he relished in his own pleasure. 

“Fuck.” He groaned, drawing the word out. “So fucking tight.” He started panting as he came down from his orgasm, your quiet sobs falling on deaf ears. When his cock finally stopped twitching inside you, he dragged it out, hissing at the sensitivity. 

Placing his hands on your ass, he spread your cheeks to get a closer look at the mess he made- your torn suit, your abused hole desperately fluttering around nothing, his come covering the floor between your legs and your cunt as it still flowed out of you. 

“Fuck- baby, let me see your tits.” He groaned and you turned your sore body over, cringing at the feeling of laying in his come. He settled on the floor next to your stomach, gaze never leaving your exposed chest. When he lightly brushed his fingers over your red nipples, you hissed in pain. Looking down, you were startled by the sight- your breasts were covered in tiny scratches and crescent indents, but your nipples were completely bright red. 

“Aren’t you a fuckin sight.” He groaned under his breath. When his gaze moved up to your face though, he faltered. He eyed your tear stained cheeks that were red from the rough pavement and his face fell as he recoiled away from you. He quickly tucked himself back in his pants, not able to look at you and you leaned up on your elbows a little, staring at him with furrowed brows. 

“What’s wrong?” You asked quietly. Did he figure out that you liked it? “Jay?” 

“N-nothing, I’m sorry. I- I should…” He stammered out, keeping his gaze anywhere but on you. You leaned up fully and zipped up your suit, wincing as the fabric pressed tight against your sore nipples. “I’ll take you home.” He muttered, standing up to retrieve his helmet. You stood on shaky legs, trying not to show any physical indication that the feeling of his come trickling out of you was turning you on. You limped over to his bike, now fully feeling how sore you were from his rough treatment, but stopped as you stared at the seat. You don’t want to get it all messy… but what else are you supposed to do? He seemed to pick up on your internal debate and he took off his jacket, telling you to wrap it around your hips. You hesitated, but did it anyway, mentally reminding yourself to wash it as soon as you can. 

He stiffened as you wrapped your arms around his torso, making your stomach drop. Does he think I’m disgusting now? You thought, trying not to cry. The realization was enough to distract you from the vibrating seat as the engine roared to life before he drove off, speeding to your apartment. When he arrived, he didn’t even turn off the engine, just stopped and waited. So you climbed off of the bike on shaky legs and waited for him to say something. 

“I- I’m sorry. I’ll call you.” You wished you could see his face. Before you had a chance to respond, he was speeding off, making your stomach drop. You tried not to cry as you limped upstairs into your place, grimacing at the feeling of his come dripping down your thighs inside your suit. 

Maybe it was just a misunderstanding? No… His attitude only changed after he saw your face, desperate for a proper orgasm. It couldn’t have been anything else. 

A few days later you were still waiting for his call. You didn’t go on patrol for multiple reasons. The main one being that you couldn’t get rid of the nausea in your stomach from what happened. But also because he usually picks you up to go with him, and he hasn’t done that yet so he obviously doesn’t want to see you. You sat by your phone for three straight days, waiting for his name to pop up on your screen, and with every day that went by, you lost just a little more hope that he would call— that he wasn’t completely disgusted by you and wanting to break up. 

Eventually you decided you’d had enough, so you called him. It only rang twice before you were sent to voicemail, making bile rise up your throat. Another two days later you decided to go to his house. If he’s ending things, you at least want to fucking know. 

“Let me get this straight… She found you after Ivy dosed you, you couldn’t control yourself, fucked her, then acted like a complete ass, took her home, and haven’t talked to her since?” Roy asked and Jason nodded hesitantly. “How fucking stupid are you?”

“Excuse me?”

“Fucking listen to yourself, Jason. You fucked her, then barely said two words to her as you dropped her off—not even attempting any kind of after care after something so intense— then didn’t even send her a text. You’re fucking psychotic.” His face fell as Roy explained it to him. 

“Oh… Oh.” Jason said through a breath, staring at the wall behind him with wide eyes. “Dude, I fucked up-”

“No shit, asshole.” 

“Oh my god what did I do?” He muttered, frozen. 

You paced outside his door, trying to psych yourself up to knock. “You can do this.” You muttered, shaking your head to try and clear any doubts. “It’s just Jason. You’ve taken on way worse than him- this is a piece of cake.” Despite your sure tone, your stomach was twisting with anxiety. “Okay just do it. Just do it.” You said, raising your first but immediately lowering it. You raised it again and waited, taking a deep breath as you moved your hand toward the wood. Before you could knock, it was being opened and you stared in shock when you were met with Roy. 

“Uh…” You glanced between his face and your fist, then quickly lowered it. 

“Sorry… I was on my way out. He’s in there though.” He said, using his thumb to point over his shoulder. 

“Okay- okay. Cool.” He left the door open and slowly walked past you but you were frozen, staring inside. 

“You good?” He asked, raising his brows. 

“Me?” You scoffed, giving an unconvincing smile. “Totally. I’m so good- perfect actually.”

“Okay… Are you gonna go in then?” He looked between you and the open door. 

“Yep. I- I’m going…” You took a single, tentative step toward the door, then froze again. 

“Stop being a pussy and go curse him out already.” He said, making you turn to him with wide eyes. “Go.” 

“I am. Give me a fucking second.” You hissed. 

“Roy? Why didn’t you close the-” Jason was on the other side of the doorway now, staring at you in shock. Neither of you noticed as Roy left. “…Do you want to come in?” He asked and you nodded, hesitantly stepping inside. 

“You didn’t call.” You said, trying to keep all of the emotion out of your voice. You crossed your arms as he closed the door and turned to you, shifting his weight between his feet. 

“I’m sorry, I was… busy?” You stared at eyes that wouldn’t meet your own, quickly growing angry from his response. 

“Fuck you, Todd.” You scoffed walking toward the door, but he lightly grabbed your arm to stop you. 

“I’m sorry… Are you okay?” When he let go of your arm, you turned to face him. 

“If you want to break up just say that.” You muttered, trying to keep your voice steady. You looked away from him as you waited for his response. 

“What? I don’t- I don’t want to break up. Do you want to break up?” He asked, making you look at him again, this time with a glare. 

“I’m not the one who promised to call and then didn’t. I’m not the one who- who left after… that.” He stayed silent so you sighed, then continued. “Look, if you think I’m weird now or don’t want anything to do with me then fine. But you could at least fucking tell me.” You snapped, feeling your eyes start to burn with unwanted tears. 

“What the fuck are you talking about?” He asked, brows furrowed. 

“Jason, I'm not in the mood for whatever you’re trying to do.” You sighed. 

“No- what the fuck are you talking about? Why the hell would I think that?” You stared at him, waiting for him to laugh and tell you he was kidding and that you’re right, but he stayed silent. 

“Because I- I… liked it- when that probably shouldn’t have been something I was meant to enjoy.” You muttered, gaze moving to your feet. 

“No you didn’t.” He said simply, making you look back up at him with furrowed brows.

“Jason, what-“ 

“You were crying and I hurt you. I- I… raped you... I figured you wouldn’t want anything to do with me.” He said quietly, crossing his arms over his chest and averting his gaze. 

Oh. Okay that makes a little more sense. 

“That’s why you got all cold and left? Cause you thought you did that?” You asked softly, comfortingly. 

“I don’t think I did that,” You cut him off before he could say the rest. 

“Jason, I get that you were a little out of it and frankly I’m still not even completely sure I understand what happened, but did you seriously not notice that I liked it? I literally came from just that and no other stimulation.” You tried not to let yourself get embarrassed by the confession. 

“But- you were crying…” He stared at you with furrowed brows, trying to find the hidden truth behind your words. 

“Because when I came, so did you and you pretty much stopped moving so it was a ruined orgasm. I wasn’t crying before that.” He was silent for a moment and you tried not to squirm as you anxiously awaited his response. 

“Oh.” He said under his breath, bringing a hand up to anxiously rub the back of his neck. “I’m sorry for ruining it.” He said sheepishly. 

“It was still hot.” You shrugged and his eyes widened just the slightest amount. “All of it was really…” You muttered, cheeks heating up. 

“All of it?” You nodded. “All of it?” 

“Oh my god- Yes, Jason. All of it.” You said, getting even more embarrassed. 

“But you were on the ground in an alley…” The way he said it made it sound like a question. 

“Yeah and I took a very thorough shower after. Especially because of how much you came, it was literally everywhere.” This time, he was the one to blush at your crude words. “You wanna tell me what that was about now?” 

“Ivy.” He shrugged, but there was hesitation in his voice. 

“You confronted Ivy alone?” Just by his expression, it was obvious that he knew he was in trouble. 

“I was just looking into something and she ambushed me. I didn’t think I’d actually see her.” He defended. “I would’ve brought you if I thought something was gonna go down.” The confirmation that he wouldn’t voluntarily be that stupid eased your nerves a bit. He suddenly took a step forward and lightly cupped your cheek as his gaze trailed all over your face. 

“I’m sorry I left you alone, that was wrong. I wasn't thinking straight and I know that’s not an excuse but,” You cut him off with a kiss, pressing your body to his and bringing your arms up to wrap over his shoulders as you stood on your toes to reach his height.  When you pulled back, both of you were panting quietly, eyes still closed and foreheads pressed together. 

“You don’t have to apologize, but I forgive you.” You whispered through a breath. 

“Good.” He pulled back a little, so you opened your eyes, finding a mischievous expression on his face. “If that’s done, I think we need to have a lengthy conversation about all of the kinks you’ve been hiding.” He teased, making your face heat up. “Starting with whatever it was that made you come from penetration alone because I will be doing a lot more of that from now on.”

“Oh my god.” You muttered, leaning forward to bury your face in the crook of his neck with a small smile. 

[babyleostuff]

my favourite person | joshua hong

prompt | i'm not a lot of people's favourite person

word count | 1.3k

genre | angst & (mostly) fluff

author's note | ugh i haven't written a longer fic like this in a while, i've missed this

Joshua was that type of person who never wanted to bother you with his own problems. He cherished you and your happiness way too much, so what would be the point in sharing his own worries with you?

He was a big boy, he could take care of himself, no matter how much he wanted to find peace and comfort in your arms.

You knew something was wrong, despite him insisting he was fine. You knew him like the back of your hand and something has been clearly bothering him.

His bright smile was gone and even if he did smile, it didn’t reach his eyes, like it usually did. He didn’t share any funny stories from the practice room, he went to bed without giving you your mandatory good night kiss and you woke up to his side of the bed cold and empty.

“Joshua, you really have to tell me if anything is bothering you,” you said and squeezed his arm. “I’m here for you.”

But the only response you got was a small smile and a “I’m fine darling. Don’t worry about me,” which didn’t make the case any better.

You decided to let it go and wait for him to come around. Especially, because he had a company dinner soon, which you hoped would cheer him up a bit.

Perhaps a talk with Jeonghan or Seungcheol wouldn’t hurt as well.

Leaving with a quiet goodbye and a kiss to your forehead (like he always did before leaving), made you hopeful you were slowly getting your Shua back.

Some of the boys posted a couple of pictures of them together, before the party even began and Joshua was in every single one of them.

He seemed fairly happy, but you knew very well he could have been pretending.

Nonetheless, you decided to put your phone away, there was no point in dwelling on whether he was fine or not.

He wouldn’t be coming back to your apartment tonight anyways, he never did after big parties. He was always afraid that he’d make too much noise and wake you up, so he always went back to his own place after a night of drinking.

Settling down for the night, you unawarely stroked the pillow on your boyfriend’s side, where his head would usually be. He had never told you this, but his heart always skips anytime you run your fingers through his hair, as a warm feeling settles in his tummy.

He was always convinced that love was an emotion that he’d never be able to describe, but the genuine care in your eyes and the happiness in your smile could make him talk about love for hours.

“Fuck.”

You tiredly rubbed your eyes with your (Joshua’s) sweatshirt, trying to pick up where the sounds were coming from, while still being half asleep.

You stumbled out of bed, not so gently running into your dresser, while trying not to freak out over a thief who's probably robbing your apartment right now.

Finally, reaching the kitchen, you exhaled in relief as you saw that it was only your boyfriend, trying to take off his shoes.

But then you realised something. Why was he here? And then you realised something else.

He was definitely not sober.

Seeing your boyfriend drunk was nothing new, but seeing him wasted was something you thought you’d never get to see.

“Honey, are you okay?” you asked, quickly grabbing his hand to get his attention. You couldn't help thinking that something bad had happened, as his eyes were wide and he seemed almost… scared?

Shaking his head, he clumsily grabbed your other hand, putting them on his cheeks.

For a second you thought about calling Jeonghan. You’ve never seen your boyfriend in such a miserable state before and it was scaring you. The light in his eyes was gone and his beautiful face showed nothing but pain.

Nothing about this was good, but the worst was that you still had no idea what had happened.

As you got lost in your own thoughts, you felt something wet hitting your fingertips and that was when you realised Joshua was crying.

“Oh baby,” you whispered, as he collapsed into your arms. His sobs echoed through your quiet apartment, while his shoulder shook with every breath he took.

He held tightly onto you, almost as you were his lifeline - the only thing keeping him alive. Your own heart was breaking with every cry that he let out, the sound shattering any ounce of hope that you had that he’d be all right.

You lowered both of you to the ground, so you could sit in the dark curridor, illuminated only by the moonlight coming through the window.

Taking a shaky inhale, he put his head on your lap, while you gently stroked his head and placed small kisses on his forehead, to let him know that you were there with him.

“I’m not a lot of people’s favourite person.”

The not so comforting silence of your apartment was finally broken by your boyfriend, who seemed to have calmed down, even though he still struggled to take a deep breath.

“What did you say honey?” you said quietly, brushing his hair away from his face.

“I think I’m not a lot of people’s favourite person,” he repeated, slowly pushing himself up to seating.

You looked at his tired expression, wanting nothing more to take all of his burdens away from him.

He was usually very good at avoiding the hate he got online, but from time to time, it could really get to him. It was unavoidable, you both knew that, but sometimes he wanted nothing more but to talk to his fans and have a good time with them.

But because a lot of people want to harm him, his reputation and his feelings, it wasn’t easy to manoeuvre between the good and the bad comments.

It seemed like this time he stumbled upon some really nasty shit.

“Why do you say that? Where did it come from?” you asked rhetorically, voice laced with concern.

He didn’t respond, only put his head on your shoulder, putting all of his weight onto you.

Not wanting to dig deeper, you put your arms tightly around his shoulders, and placed one of your hands on his tear stained cheek.

“You know,” you muttered so as not to startle him. “You might not be a lot of people’s favourite person, but you’re definitely my favourite person,” you kissed the side of his head, as you felt more tears rolling down his cheek.

“I have no idea how you’re feeling right now, nor will I ever get to experience what you’re experiencing, but I want you to know that despite all those horrible people that want to cause nothing more but pain, there are thousands of people who love you and cherish you.”

“Take a look around you. You have me, you have your brothers and you have your true fans that want you to be happy,” you whispered into his hair.

“I think that’s more than enough,” he said quietly, lifting his head to look at you.

His eyes were red, but to you they were the happiest they’ve been in a while. Even the corners of his lips were slightly turned upwards, to which you couldn’t help but smile.

“You cannot make everyone happy, Shua. There are going to be people that’ll want to hurt you, but remember that you’re always surrounded by people that love you,” you said.

He turned away to wipe his wet cheeks, feeling slightly embarrassed about his emotional outburst.

Usually, he’d go to his own apartment and cry himself to sleep, but tonight something made him come back home to you.

“Joshua,” you put your hand on his shoulder. “Next time, please talk to me before it gets that bad. I know that you don’t want to burden me with your worries, but I can't stand seeing you like this.”

“I love you so much, and I want us to go through the good and the bad together.”

He nodded and took your hand in his.

“Together.”

[myfairstarlight]

An Ode to Friends to Lovers - Colin and Penelope's story

Fine, I give in.

As someone who considers themself more of a casual viewer (as in, I've never engaged in the fandom before), I went into this new season with mild interest. And then I fell down the rabbit hole. I should have suspected it though, Friends to Lovers is a trope I affectionate particularly when it comes to romance, unfortunately one I very rarely think is done well. So I was still skeptical going in.

But by God, did they deliver on that front and I need to break it down and talk about it. So I guess this is my review of Bridgerton s3, part 1.

Under the cut though, because this is gonna be a long one (seriously, this is a warning).

I don't particularly think Bridgerton is a complex show, and one can argue all day about whether it is even good (in my eyes, as long as it's entertaining, I don't care if a show is "good"), however, the number of takes I've seen online not understanding basic story-telling worries me a bit.

Don't get me wrong, I agree this first half has pacing issues but I do not think Penelope's and Colin's love story suffered that much, it did not feel rushed to me since we already knew these characters for two whole seasons (and I maintain Colin has always had more depths than what people pretend he does, it seems like, just like the ton, viewers like to overlook him and just characterise him as naive).

And I guess this long ass post was born in the process. So:

Part One: Penelope's glow up

Yes I'm starting by looking at them individually first. I think this post on reddit sums it up so perfectly. I get we're all joking about how unrealistic it is that no man was ever interested in Penelope despite how she looks like an absolute goddess (and I maintain she was the cutest in both previous seasons as well!) - unfortunately it is realistic. That's the reality of bullying, it doesn't get solved by a glow up. Even her association with the Bridgertons through Eloise and Colin did not lessen the bullying, so without them? Even the prettiest dresses would not have changed the ton's perception of her, and she's still the awkward, anxious girl she's always been, and unfortunately, most of these men are not attracted to that. It's not satisfying, she doesn't get her triumphant revenge on a society that always ostracised her - and I think it's important that she does not. That she accepts it. She should not have to change for a ton that will not change for the better either. And it's a lesson she learns quickly - someone will love her for who she is, pretending will only lead to misery. And, it is when she's being herself that she successfully gets the interest of some gentlemen (shout out to Lord Remington! I was so hoping we would be seeing more of him on top of Debling. He's such a Whistledown fan I thought that even after the whole lesson reveal scandal he would have stuck to call on Penelope the next day to gossip together, it would have been cute but I guess he too wanted to avoid being written about) (also I'm just saying in fics he should be the one considered as a proper other suitor for Pen since they seemed to have a genuine connection, meanwhile Debling was really searching for practicality).

The thing I wanna add to that post is this: despite all that, she decided to change her looks for herself. When I first learned of the plot of this season, Colin helping her find a husband, I was scared it would mean Colin would be the one to tell her to have a makeover. It doesn't happen. Sure, Penelope subconsciously requests for a more Parisian style for her new dresses because it is the last place Colin went to, but by that point she has already given up on him. She wants something new, and to feel good in herself. That's how she blooms, by finding a style that she feels comfortable in, finally free from her mother's horrendous tastes. That's what allows her to be more confident as well, the new looks and her motivation to move on from her "unrequited fantasy". As for Colin? He never comments on her change, he compliments her dress (and mind you, that is when he's trying to play up the charm because he knows she's upset with him and he gets humbled, hard) but he never says it looks better on her than what she wore before, he never has a "I never realised how beautiful you were" moment we see a bit too often in friends to lovers stories, because to him she's still his Pen, new dresses, new hairstyles, but the same Pen he's always loved, even if he didn't realise to what extent yet.

But Penelope's confidence... is not quite there yet. Difficult to be, when she's grown up in a loveless home, with horrible sisters, a father who barely cared and a mother who constantly puts her down. Whenever she gets a compliment, her first reaction is "ah, it must be a joke" - that isn't even exclusive to Colin, in the brief interaction between Edwina and Penelope, when Edwina compliments her dress, Penelope also dismisses it. And then, there's Colin, who is always oh so honest with her and does not shy away from praising her. But I'll touch more on that later.

Part Two: Colin's new self.

And then we have the opposite: Colin showing up with a new attitude, and succeeding at it (well, on the surface). Something I haven't seen people bring up a lot though is that he's already tried a new look in s2, and he got mocked for it. The only one who didn't? Penelope. Why didn't he try to emulate being a rake back then? Because Penelope's letters grounded him, he admits it himself. It's seeing himself through Penelope's letters that gave him confidence. But that kind of confidence was not enough in the ton's eyes, and on top of that, between s2 and s3, this time Penelope doesn't write back, and neither do his family. He grows insecure, he's lost the one person who kept him grounded, he thinks his family is annoyed with him, and he still is in search of a purpose, so what does he do? He clings to Anthony's words in s1 after the disaster that was his engagement with Marina: he's too green, time to "fix" that and be more like his big brothers. They got it together, they know their purpose (well, Benedict lost his again but that's a story for another day), so surely, if he acts more like them, and not like the sensitive and naive boy he was, then surely everything will be alright! Right? Note that as opposed to s2, where he kept talking about his travels and it annoyed everyone, in s3 he doesn't go into details about them anymore, even when he's asked. They're only interested in the company he kept during the travels rather than the sights he saw. And honestly, it was heartbreaking to see right away how much of himself he was holding back, even with his own family. Penelope, however, gets the details without even asking because he already knows she likes hearing him talk about them and she makes him comfortable, and he's fully aware of that when he apologises in s3e1.

(I also want to note that, even if this new persona is fake, his new style genuinely fits him better. Just like Penelope, this season Colin found the style that makes him feel good and confident.)

And here's where I need to praise Luke's acting for a bit, because he absolutely nailed the subtle way Colin behaves differently with Penelope vs everyone else. His voice is softer, he is effortlessly charming (I was kicking my feet when he recalled how they met), his smile is bigger, even his whole face looks more relaxed whenever Penelope is around, meanwhile he always appears stiff and like he's calculating his every move when around his "friends". In fact, it is in the carriage scene we finally truly see s1&2's Colin back. When he has that look on his face, as he decides right there and then he's gonna marry her, and then a second later when he asks the question, his face. By God, his eyes are sparkling, he's so happy, and he looks as youthful and carefree as he did in previous seasons, far are the thoughts of trying to fit in a society that he hates.

Because above all, these two know and understand each other in a way no one else in their lives does. And that is a fact that remains despite the outward changes. So yes, I liked that their dynamic did not shift to romance because of their "glow ups", but because they are spending even more time together now. Speaking of which:

Part Three: Authenticity and Vulnerability

One big theme this season is being true to oneself. It's no coincidence mirrors are such a big part of it (even outside of the yet to be seen spicy scene), because looking at a mirror means looking at oneself, and be vulnerable. If s2 was about duty vs heart, eldest siblings trying to do right by their family to the point of self-sabotage, s3 is a battle between the head and the heart. It is not even exclusive to Polin - Eloise is learning and growing by trying to take genuine part in society but struggling to fit in. Cressida wants to become a better person, torn between the pressure put on her shoulders by her parents and this new friendship with Eloise. Benedict is looking for his purpose after learning Anthony paid his way to art school, and feeling like a fraud as an artist. Anthony and Kate are unashamedly in love, as they deserve to be after the struggles they went through last season. Francesca has no care for the suitors the Queen and her mother parade in front of her as the "sparkler" of the season (sidenote but I hated that, stupid name, should have stuck to diamond or select another gem) as her heart seeks out the handsome and quiet John Sterling instead. And this will continue in part 2, as Penelope will have to be honest about Lady Whistledown (because she's always her most authentic self around Colin, there is still this big secret she is so determined to keep to herself, when she should not).

The beauty about friends to lovers stories to me is the small declarations of love sprinkled throughout the relationship. It's about the trust already built in with no expectations and the vulnerability we'd never allow anyone but our closest friends to see, something even our family can be ignorant to. I mentioned earlier that Colin never shies away from praising Penelope, way before their dynamic shifts to lovers. He tells her she's good, constant, loyal, special, warm. All of these are declarations of love, even if not with romantic intent, it's about showing his appreciation for her, for the role she holds in his life. And Penelope responds in kind as well. That is why I believe people who think the romance was rushed in s3 either did not watch the past two seasons or see friendship and romantic love as two distinct things rather than a cohesive continuation of each other. In s1, people focus so much on the Marina stuff, as if that cancels out Colin's friendship with Penelope. We still do see Colin actively seek out Penelope at balls, and defending her against Cressida, he compliments her and tells her she's the one who inspired him to travel. Then s2 rolls in, and they're exchanging letters, which will become the cataclysm for their dynamic changing later on. And then there's one of my favourite scenes with them: them talking about their purpose. They both open up here, Colin about his insecurity, Penelope about her dream, it is so intimate. And then, there's of course Colin protecting the Featheringtons from ruins. I'm mostly emphasising Colin's actions, because Penelope's crush on him was always in your face, and while Colin may not have realised it yet, he's always cared about Penelope in a special way, as manifested by his actions and how vulnerable he allows himself to be around her, when even his own family has no idea about what's going on inside his head.

There's a misconception that Colin calling her his friend was him rejecting her, and yet we see in s3 he had no idea whatsoever that she has a crush on him, so he could not lead her on (unlike his book counterpart, who was aware of Penelope's infatuation and was careful never to toe the line until he realised his feelings. Show Colin though? Completely oblivious. And it makes sense, he's still young.) He asks Violet "how do you know it was reciprocated" and not "how do you know you're in love with your best friend". As of right now at the end of part 1, he genuinely thinks he's the one who fell in love first, or at least realised it first. His "You're Pen, you do not count, you're my friend" in s2, was not a rejection in his eyes, but a declaration of love; he's forsaken love and women but not his Penelope, never her, she's his exception And it's not like Penelope resented him for that friendship he so readily gave her, yes she had a crush, but she was proud to call him her friend! He was, with Eloise, her solace away from her family. At the end of the day, this is a friends to lovers story, it is silly to get upset that they considered themselves friends first before there is a click as they realise they are now on the same page to shift their relationship.

Side note but I've never liked the term "friendzoned" because it makes it sound like being friends is a bad thing. I've had unrequited feelings before but I've always felt grateful that being friends with them allowed me to stay close to them even if I knew nothing else could happen. I was still very much happy and content. But maybe I'm projecting on Penelope and that's another debate.

See, what I ended up loving about the lesson plot, which I was so wary of at first, is that Colin barely teaches Penelope anything. At first, he goes for the "do what society expects women to do" (since it worked for him) but then she acts awkwardly, she can't fake it, and it surprises him for a moment. That's when it clicks for him, she just needs to be comfortable because with him, she's always smart, witty and charming, she's herself. He's always seen her that way, and he did not quite realise he had that privilege in the first place. And I love how we see him slowly realise it is no longer a privilege thanks to his help. We see it in e2. When she talks to the guy with the dead horse (forgot his name, oops), Penelope forces the flirt and Colin is amused by it. Fast forward Penelope approaching Lord Remington by herself, without Colin's initiative, and she's being more authentic, and suddenly Jealous by Nick Jonas plays in the background and Colin doesn't look proud, but apprehensive, or dare I say jealous. The shift in Colin's head happens long before Debling is in the picture. I'd argue it already shifted earlier in that episode, in his study, which he flashbacks to in e4.

His journals detail how unfulfilled he feels when he lays with random women in his travels. He longs for emotional intimacy. And guess with who he finally finds that, when a certain red-head asks the one question that allows them to break the physical barrier they had to keep between them for the sake of propriety?

Ah yes, that first kiss. To Colin, everything has been building up to this, this is his true Oh moment. A favour turned into a revelation. For Penelope, this is quite literally the end of her fantasies. This is Penelope's most vulnerable moment. She bares her heart, she's sad, she's desperate. And some people have been calling that moment pathetic, interpreting it as her being weak and giving in to her crush again, saying that she should not have to beg for that man's affection. I concur that she is brave, and bold. I also concur that some of you all are a bit too attached to the girlboss archetype forgetting that allowing oneself to be vulnerable is also a strength. She's never had to beg for Colin's attention anyway because he readily gives it to her, but in this one instance, for once in her life, she is truly being honest. In her head, she has nothing else to lose, and she wants to experience the one thing she thinks she can never have so of course she's gonna turn to the one person she's always trusted and feels the most comfortable with, because before her crush, Colin is her friend. She's asking a favour from a friend. And then she can move on, whatever "moving on" will turn out to be. In this instance, she has the power in her hands.

And it is her bravery that is the true cataclysm for things to change properly. Of course, things have already started to change the moment she stopped replying to the letters, but that moment really expedited their relationship.

Part Four: Lovers, but in a best friends way

The thing with Bridgerton, in the books or in the show, is that each couple has their trope. This is not news to anyone, I think. We've had fake dating, and enemies to lovers, and one characteristic that these two tropes share is a growing tension between the characters before it snaps. There is a reason the early marketing for s3 focused on Penelope being cold towards Colin, tension and conflict are more appealing on the surface. And then the first half of the season comes out and that conflict between our main couple? Solved after one episode because they did one thing that is severely missing in most romance dramas: communicated healthily. Penelope laid out why she was upset (although she does not stay to let Colin explain and then vents out her feelings in Whistledown... she still has some learning to do), Colin immediately went to apologise and make up for it. All of this by talking. And yet I'd argue friends to lovers still has its own tension, just not to the same intensity as the other two, and more difficult to market. The tension comes from the brewing feelings, the way you start seeing every touch, every interaction, in a whole new light, and wondering if it's only in your head or if it's reciprocated. But now combine that with Colin who's always been so earnest about his feelings with Penelope? And Penelope who's always quietly wanted their relationship to evolve that way? Of course they figured it out quickly and got together in half a season. And I'm delighted that we will see them handle the whole Whistledown mess as a couple, as two people aware they love each other deeply, which gives a whole new meaning to the conflict compared to the book where I felt like it was brushed over a bit too quickly (because they got distracted in that carriage). It is the last secret between them, their last obstacle.

I also do not like the "Colin should have grovelled and pined more" argument, when he is the one who insisted on the lessons to help her find a husband in the first place, and then has to face the fact that actually, he doesn't like the idea of another man taking Penelope away, and oh, isn't that the consequences of his own actions? He is grovelling, you just don't see Penelope holding it over his head, because that's not the person she is, this is not a revenge fantasy story, in fact she does not realise the power she has on him because she is used to Colin seeking her out. I like that he didn't stew on his feelings and decided to act on them right away. I also don't like how this whole grovelling thing makes it sound like love is a competition, that just because Penelope has known she's been in love for longer and "suffered" longer, that means Colin needs to do the same to even the planes. Because in my eyes love isn't exactly something to be earned — it is given. Now, are you worthy to keep it? To nurture it and make it bloom and last? That is the real question.

Admittedly, since this is only the first half of the season, we do not see them in a romantic setting a lot. That first half is focused on them rekindling their friendship lost during the summer when Penelope stopped responding to the letters, and Colin having the realisation he cannot live without his best friend, not just because she is his best friend, but also because he loves her. But we do have two important, and obvious instances.

So let's talk about that first kiss again. It is, in my opinion, one of the most gentle and romantic moments in the show so far and also showcased their friendship really well. Colin trying to joke to lighten the mood as Penelope spirals down (peak best friend behaviour actually), the gentle, swelling music, the light of the moon, Colin's deep exhale of realisation as he holds her face when he goes back in for the second kiss, with the furrowed brows of a man on a mission. This is Penelope's most vulnerable moment and Colin's big realisation. And I felt like I was intruding.

And same goes for that carriage scene, but even before they go at it; now this is Colin's most vulnerable moment, and Penelope's realisation that they can be more. He chases the carriage by foot, then goes on his knees to confess his feelings to his best friend in the softest and most determined voice we've ever heard him use this whole season, eyes wide, tears threatening to fall as it is his turn to bare his heart and ask for a chance. Meanwhile Penelope takes it all in, running her hand through his hair because she can finally touch him, melting under him. Things get steamy. And then... and then... The carriage stops, they get startled, Colin jokes that the driver should have kept on driving and then... they laugh. They just made out, and went to second base together, and yet here they are now, laughing. It is such a genuine and lovely moment. And it's then that Colin has that look in his eyes, that "I'm gonna marry her" look. That is when he realises he cannot live his life without her. That his purpose is now right in front of him: making Penelope Featherington, soon to be Bridgerton, laugh until the end of their lives.

Conclusion

There's no conclusion, I just love them so dearly. Yes, there still is the whole Whistledown mess to deal with and sure, the argument with Eloise may make you think great angst is ahead but if there is one big difference between Colin and Eloise, it is this: Colin has always listened to Penelope, and this is not a diss on Eloise. Eloise, bless her heart, can be pretty self-centred, she's loud and a bit immature, something she is growing from in s3, and you cannot ignore that she did not really listen to Penelope (she has no idea Penelope wishes to marry when Penelope tells her she does in s1, we can blame the writing, but I do think it fits with Eloise's journey to realising how privileged and dismissive she is. Penelope was too polite to call her out until their falling out. Meanwhile Cressida is exactly the type of honesty she needs for a wake up call). Colin, on the other hand, is very sensitive and a good listener. Furthermore, this season, Penelope is learning to be more confident, to voice what she wants, and I like to think it is leading to her finding her own voice and not needing Whistledown to hide behind anymore. If there's someone with whom she has no filters, it is Colin, so I have faith that when the reveal happens and an argument breaks out, this new Penelope will not back down and will lay out all her reasons and all her regrets, and Colin may be stubborn, but he loves that woman and he always listens.

A part of me also wishes they keep the jealousy he felt about her writing in the book, and that they don't focus just on the whole "you lied to me" aspect (we've already had that with Eloise). How he, himself, is insecure about his writing, and here Penelope is, less fortunate than he is, and yet who did have the courage to get her writing out there, even if publishing under another name. Because that is also a reality in relationships, when your partner is at a different stage in their career, and how they can communicate to support one another.

Anyway, I'm just rambling now (as if that isn't what I've been doing this whole time). I like them. A little. Just a bit. I'm very normal about them <3

[inbloomwriting]

Everything to me - Chapter 2

Chapter two - Blueberry & Kidney Bean

Chapter 1

Plot: Jamie Tartt is a lot of things: professional footballer, the island's top scorer .... sexually, extremly handsome. But one thing he never saw himself as was a dad. Too bad he has to deal with the consequences of his own actions. This fic follows reader and Jamie as they navigate life and turn from practially strangers to parents. Pairing: Jaime Tartt x female reader Warnings: Pregnancy, swearing, mentions of food and alcohol, slight mention of sexual intimacy (nothing graphic), strained/toxic parental relationship Notes: 5.6k words. I do not have a set uploading schedule. Please bear with me as I work on this story. I know hardly anything about pregnancy, all my information comes from google. I tagged everyone who asked me to do it when I posted part 1. Please let me know if you want to be taken off or added to the taglist. Likes, reblogs, comments are all much appreciated. I am German. Sometimes I get the tense wrong or make mistakes. I am useless when it comes to punctuation. Go easy on me, please

The store smells like dust and cardboard and old carpet. It's not necessarily a bad smell, it just doesn't live up to her memories.

She remembers the perpetual scent of menthol cigarettes and some kind of cheap men's perfume wafting through the air. The store used to smell like her dad and now it doesn't. And that just makes it all even more real.

Boxes upon boxes litter the room, filled with records. Some older, some newer. Guitars adorn one wall while the others are covered in posters from tours that happened long ago, some even before she was born.

There is something comforting about being here. It’s like stepping back into the past. Long nights watching Dad and his friends play their guitars after store-closing. Discovering new bands whenever a new shipment of records came in. And yes - she is the first to admit that in her younger years, she mostly chose the records by how cool the cover looked. 

It’s also memories of Dad getting caught up in the after-hours jam sessions and forgetting about her dance recital and that one time he threw a guitar at the window out of anger that a shipment of records got lost. It took him months to get the window replaced. She could probably still trace exactly where the crack used to be. 

Being here is very reminiscent in all the good and bad ways. But it’s a warped version of the past. One that’s laced with all the knowledge she has now. Like a movie that you’ve seen a million times.

“I don’t think pregnant women are supposed to be doing that!” 

Jamie’s voice cuts through the nostalgia-induced fog like a sunbeam through the clouds. And it also gives her a little heart attack as the only sound filling the room up until now had been her moving around and the soft tunes of an Eric Clapton record playing in the background.

“Jesus fuck! You scared me. I’m pretty sure you’re not supposed to startle pregnant women either and give them heart attacks.” 

He looks at her with those big expressive eyes of his and a comically overdone pout on his lips. “Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you. But seriously give me that.” 

He’s so quick to take the box of records from her hands (Y/N) hardly has time to process what’s going on. 

Quite honestly, his worry is a bit misplaced here but she appreciates the sentiment even if he might be a little overly cautious at that moment. It feels nice to be cared for. 

“You know I’m pregnant, not sick, right? I can carry stuff.” 

“Yeah but why would you if you got me carrying it for you?” 

He has a point, she has to give him that. 

“Fair enough. Those go over there in the corner please.” 

Jamie follows her order without hesitation and, after setting the box down in its designated place, his eyes dart across the room and light up with childlike wonder and curiosity.

“This used to be your dad’s place, yeah? It looks really neat with all them posters and shit. Like stepping into an old person’s mind but like a cool old person that buys you alcohol when you’re 15 and lets you watch horror movies when your mum said no.” 

Of all the adjectives in the world, (Y/N) wouldn’t ever think of using the word “cool” to describe her dad. He was creative and fun and eccentric and stubborn — but cool? 

Then again he was her dad and no one ever likes to think of their own parents as cool. Oh god, will their kid think she’s uncool?! 

“Uh yeah, the shop and the apartment right above us. He owned it, now I do. I’m trying to get it all fixed up and ready to be sold.”

“What? Why?” 

There is something to be said about Jamie’s face and his absolute inability to mask his emotions. Everything he thinks and feels is mirrored twice as vividly on his face. He’s all furrowed brows and pouty lips. 

“I mean — it’s a record store. People don’t really buy records anymore. Be honest, when was the last time you bought one instead of just streaming the music?” 

“Like two weeks ago.” 

“Fuck off, no you didn’t!” 

“Uh — yeah, I did. Olivia Rodrigo if you must know.” 

A soft giggle falls from (Y/N)’s lips. How fitting for Jamie to buy an album full of teenage angst. 

“Well, you’re one of very few people though. In a perfect world, I wouldn’t have to sell. I’d keep it open. Instead of selling instruments, it’d turn that part of the shop into a little stage with a coffee counter or a bar. Host open mic nights and shine a spotlight on undiscovered artists. But the world isn’t perfect and there is no way I can afford to turn that vision into reality so really there’s no use in letting myself get too caught up in it.” 

There is pity in his eyes and she hates it. She doesn’t want pity, not his or anyone else’s. Has seen enough of it, especially lately. If she had received just one more “Sorry for your loss” card in the mail from relatives she hadn’t seen in decades, she probably would’ve stabbed a fork in her own eye. Pity does no good to no one. 

“Anyway, Jamie. Not that I don’t enjoy hanging out with you, it’s kind of necessary if we want to get this whole beings-friends-thing right, but uh — what are you doing here?” 

“Jesus, can’t a guy just come around to say hi to his baby? “ 

She thinks the way he says the word “Baby” in his thick accent is surprisingly and undeniably adorable. As if it ends in an “eh” instead of a “y”.

“By the way, they’re as big as a blueberry now.” 

And the way he’s keeping track of the baby's growth gets her right in the heart. For some reason, this seems to come so naturally to him when it all still feels weird and foreign and surreal to her. As if it were happening to someone else and she’s just a mere spectator. The idea that something as small as a blueberry will one day turn into a proper baby, a child, a teenager … a whole ass adult - is so wild to her. Almost incomprehensible. A person with their own feelings and dreams and personality. (Y/N) wonders if at any point in this pregnancy, she'll wake up and it'll all just make sense or if that only comes once she's holding the baby in her arms.

“That's cute. Doesn't answer my question though. What brings you here?”

A shadow of something flickers across Jamie’s face. Something unreadable and unfamiliar. Something that makes (Y/N) feel a sense of dread bubbling up in her stomach.

“I uh — I can’t do this.”

And there it is. That unfamiliar shadow is now a metaphorical atom bomb, a mushroom cloud of all that could have been and won’t be.

“Oh okay. I mean no, not okay. This sucks actually. You said you wanted to be part of the baby’s life and now you’re bailing? That’s a shit move, Jamie. You’re a right prick for pulling that crap.” 

“What? Oh no!” his eyes widen as the realization sets in. “That’s not what I meant.”

“Well then what did you mean? Cause you’re truly giving me a heart attack right now. Second one for today. You really need to start working on your conversation starters.” 

She had given him the chance to opt out of being a dad, to not be a part of the baby’s life. It seemed like the right thing to do and, foolishly, (Y/N) had believed that she’d be okay with him doing just that. In this very moment though, she feels everything but okay. The idea of Jamie changing his mind is terrifying. 

Sometimes you don’t realize just how much you need something — or someone until you’re faced with the possibility of losing them.

“I mean, I can’t do this alone. I need to tell someone. All I keep thinking about is the baby and I feel like I am going to explode any second now. I know we can’t tell everyone yet ‘cause of — well you know, things going wrong and stuff. But I need to tell someone. You got to tell Rebecca and your mum, I think it’s only fair I get to tell two people as well, yeah?”

A sense of relief floods her. Starts in her toes and fills her all the way to the top of her head. He wants this — wants the baby. It’s not just her in this. It’s nice to know you have someone in your corner. It’s also scary. Because he deserves to know just whose team he’s on. And being vulnerable fucking sucks. 

“Jamie, that’s fine. Absolutely you can tell your mum.” 

“And Simon? You got two people so — “

“I didn’t though.” 

“Uh yes, you did. I know you told Rebecca.” 

“That’s right.”

“And your mum too”.

The silence that follows his words is deafening. Being vulnerable means also admitting guilt. It means owning up to all of your mistakes. Though we are not the sum of our mistakes, they are what help shape the person we become. And (Y/N) really doesn’t think they make her a very good one.

“And your mum too?” 

More silence.

“You didn’t tell your mum? Why not? “

To his credit, Jamie looks truly surprised and confused. There is no judgment there, just absolute bewilderment and that signature softness that rounds out his features and settles in his eyes whenever Jamie talks to her about something serious. Granted they’ve not had that many conversations but she hopes that softness stays. She hopes that maybe their baby can have those soft, gentle eyes too.

“I’m not sure. I think I’m scared. My mum and I have a — complicated relationship. I disappoint her, she judges me. You know, the usual.” 

“You think she’ll be disappointed because we're having a baby? Is it because of me?”

(Y/N) shrugs, breaking eye contact and fixing her gaze on the old grey carpet with the ugly 90s pattern. What if those soft eyes can look straight through her, see all the ugly parts and the insecurities? That’s too scary for now. Too much too soon.

“No, it has nothing to do with you. Think she’ll just be disappointed I didn’t get pregnant according to the timeline she dreamed up for my life when I was like 2 years old. Had it all planned out for me and I never stuck to it.” 

Jamie is quiet for a moment but (Y/N) doesn’t dare to look back up at him. She can’t deal with any more pity.

“Well if you want to practice telling a mum, we can start with mine.”

“Huh?” 

“You can come to Manchester with me if you want. To tell my mum. We’ll have one mum down then, makes it easier to do it a second time. It’s science.” 

Jamie has the fascinating quality of making you believe in his words just by being so undeniably charming and because he believes in them himself. He makes it look easy when it is everything but.

“And if things don’t go well with your mum at least you’ll know you have at least one mum you can rely on, even if it’s not your own. She raised me pretty much by herself so she knows a thing or two about babies and parenting and stuff.” 

The mocking raise of (Y/N)’s right eyebrow doesn’t go unnoticed by Jamie who opens his lips to a silent gasp and clutches his chest with an overly dramatic gesture. 

“What? You saying I didn’t turn out perfectly?”

“No,” she laughs, a lightness festering in her chest. Like the first rays of sunshine after a cold winter that never seemed to end. Like a glass of wine after a long day at work. Like your favorite song on the radio at the exact moment you need it most. “I think you turned out exactly the way you were supposed to.” 

“Thanks,” Jamie says with that cheeky smile playing on his lips that makes him look a little younger than he actually is. Then he dares to wink at her and it’s a little annoying but also insanely charming. “Not sure you meant it as a compliment but I am taking it. Now when are you free for a trip up to Manchester?” 

(Y/N)’s been on a lot of road trips around the country when she was younger. She’s even spent a whole summer traveling Europe, partially by train but most of the time was spent stuffed in a Fiat Punto with 3 of her friends and all their luggage. It was stuffy, it was chaotic and it was immensely fun. None of those road trips ever involved a shiny black Aston Martin Rapide though. 

Or a famous footballer dressed in the ugliest lime green sweater (Y/N) has ever seen. 

“That’s all the luggage you got?” Jamie questions as he moves the black shades off of his eyes and sets them on the top of his head, holding back some of his hair. It shouldn’t work so well but it does. 

“I mean, we’re only staying for a night right? Why? Should I have brought more? How much did you pack?” 

He glances at her, then towards the car, and back at her. A sheepish look crosses his face before being replaced by his childlike cheekiness. “That’s confidential. Don’t worry about it, yeah?” 

“I got my ginger lollies, that’s all that matters really.” 

“You feeling alright?” 

“Mh, I’m good. Just pregnant.” 

His eyes drop down to her stomach for just a second before he nods his head in what (Y/N) can only describe as a mix of pride and satisfaction. “Yeah, you are.” 

That’s new. Well not new-new but it hasn’t happened since the day of the funeral. That tingly feeling in her stomach that has fuck all to do with the baby and everything with how the baby got there. Yes, Jamie is hot and (Y/N) is the first to admit as much but there has been so much stress and chaos and she hardly had time to think about anything but surviving and making sure not to completely lose herself in bad visions of what-ifs that her brain has had no time to process any feelings of arousal or lust. That look he just gave her though, that one made her remember it for just a second.

“You sure you’re alright?” 

Jamie’s voice shakes her from her daydream and brings her back to the real world, her eyes focusing back on the obscene car parked in front of her tiny apartment building looking so insanely out of place.

“Uh yes, I’m fine. I just — sometimes I forget that you’re famous.” 

Jamie regards her for a moment before shrugging his shoulder and grabbing the bag from her hands. “I don’t. It’s fun. Now come on, let’s goooooo.” 

His voice is dipped in excitement and there’s a bounce in his step. If this is how the prospect of seeing his mother makes him feel and behave, she must be one lovely woman. Whenever (Y/N) thinks of her own mother her chest fills with tiny metaphorical icicles. Sharp and rough and painful. It’s all regret and judgment and disapproval. It’s “You gained weight”, “you look tired”, and “You should really look into getting a new job”. Daggers disguised as roses. Stabs right to the heart in the name of being honest. “I just care about you, because I love you, because I am your mother!” 

If there is one thing (Y/N) knows for sure, it’s that she will never ever find the need to resort to criticism and thinly veiled malice in order to show her child that she cares. They will know. Every single day. Because she’ll make sure to show them. Every single day in all the big and tiny ways a person can show their love. 

“Kidney Bean?”

“Kidney Bean. And apparently, the baby is sprouting webbed fingers and toes right now. Oh, and it’s starting to move!” 

“Can you feel that?” 

“No, not yet.” 

“It’s mental. Last week she was the size of a blueberry and now she’s a kidney bean. Kid’s growing up too fast.” 

It’s true. There is so much happening all at once and it’s almost impossible to really process it all. Suddenly there is a tiny spark of a human inside her. Not really a baby yet but a baby to her. And it's moving and developing and changing every second of every day. Fucking insane.

“Wait … you said she. You think it’s a girl?”

Maybe it’s the sunlight casting a glow through the windshield but (Y/N) is almost certain she can just about make out a blush dusting Jamie’s cheeks. 

“Dunno.”

“Jamie Tartt, do you want to be a girl dad?” 

He glances at (Y/N) through the corner of his eyes for just a moment but it’s enough for her to see the sincerity in him. This is something he’s thought about before. Learning new things about Jamie is fascinating.

“Ah,  it’s stupid, really. It’s — It’s dumb or whatever.” 

“No, come on, don't go shy on me now. Tell me.” 

He takes a deep breath. A moment passes then another. There is no rush. Sometimes silly thoughts are the result of harsh truths. 

“Told you my dad was a prick. Like the biggest piece of shit walking this earth, yeah? And I knew that all my life. Thing is I still tried to impress him. I just — I wanted him to like me so badly. Just felt wrong that me own dad didn’t care about me and that made me angry. And I kept that anger inside me for so long. Sometimes when I think about the baby and the future I am scared that if I have a son that anger will jump over to him. Like maybe all Tartt men are cursed or some shit like that. But if I had a little girl maybe that would make it easier for me to be a good dad. I don’t mind either way, obviously, but the idea of having a son scares me.” 

It’s the most vulnerable he’s been with her so far and by the way he clenches his jaw and grabs onto the steering wheel just a little tighter, (Y/N) can tell this isn’t easy on him. It means a lot that he shares this part of him with her anyway. It feels like they are actually becoming friends. So opening up to him in return is only half as horrifying. 

“When I was a kid, maybe 11 or 12, I wrote a short story for school and I won an award. They did this big ceremony thing where the 3 finalists got to read their stories out loud for an audience and then receive their prizes. My mum didn’t show up, not sure if it was because she stayed longer at the office and didn’t care enough to leave on time or if she just didn’t feel like getting out of the house. Point is, she wasn’t there. When I came home that night I was sad, obviously, and I was also pissed. Because why the fuck couldn’t she take one night off to come see me succeed at something even if it wasn’t something she deemed worthy of praise. 

So I yelled at her and I’m sure I said some hurtful things. But I was so devastated and angry and I needed an outlet for once. She called me ungrateful but I was used to that, she always called me ungrateful. Then she looked at me with that look of absolute resignation and malice and she said that she hopes I have a daughter like me one day and that she makes me realize how hard it is to love me. 

When I think of the baby, sometimes I see a little girl too. One that I will love so much she never has to doubt it for a single second. And I will also prove my mother wrong. Because it will be so easy to love my little girl and it would’ve been so easy to love me, her little girl.” 

It’s the first time she’s ever said those words out loud. Truly, (Y/N) had not expected for them to come out in an Aston Martin, on the way to meet her baby’s father’s mother but life doesn’t seem to care for plans very much these days.

Softly, as if to not startle her, Jamie places his hand on hers, squeezing gently.

“I think your mum is a right bitch.” 

“Thanks. I think your dad is a huge asshole.” 

“We’re gonna be better than them, right?” 

It’s not really a question. It’s more of a promise.

“We will. I know it.”

His hand doesn’t leave hers for a good long while. 

The nerves don’t hit her until they pull up to the quaint little house with the white front. There’s a rose bush to the side and some kids playing football just across the way. The nerves don’t hit her until Jamie puts the car in park but when they do, they hit her like a freight train.

“Woah, you alright?” 

“Huh?” 

“You look all pale and like you’ve seen a ghost or something. Do you have to puke?”

A chuckle falls from her lips at the absurdity of it all. In all honesty, she’s not met a lot of parents yet but the few she did meet were parents of actual partners. People she had been dating for a while. It was a natural progression of steps. This is all wrong and sideways and topsy-turvy. You’re supposed to meet the mum first and then get pregnant. 

Again with the life and the plans. 

“I’m fucking nervous.” 

“Hah,” Jamie laughs. The audacity of this guy. “You’re nervous to meet my mum? Why? She’s an angel.”

“Do you not know how intimidating that is? Like, if she was shit I wouldn’t care but she sounds wonderful and I want her to like me. No, I need her to like me. Desperately. And I can only imagine what she thinks of me already. Some floozy who gets knocked up and really just wants your money.” 

Before she even fully realizes what’s happening, (Y/N) feels Jamie’s hands on her cheeks, framing her face in warmth.

“Calm down, please. I promise it’ll be alright. My mum will love you, I know it. Probably more than she loves me. Actually no that’s a lie, but she will love you and she will love our baby. Promise.”

“She’s not gonna judge me for — you know. Getting pregnant even though we’re not dating or anything.” 

“My mum was married to my dad, worst person on planet Earth. Don’t think she’s in any position to judge you. It’ll be alright, trust me.” 

She hardly knows this man and yet she can’t help but do just that. Trust him.

The first thing (Y/N) notices about Georgie is her smile. A smile that is so familiar because it looks exactly like Jamie’s smile. Warm and radiant and true. A part of (Y/N) hopes that their baby inherits that same smile. Partially because it’s a really good smile and partially because maybe that could help Jamie realize that he is more than the sum of his father’s problems and mistakes. He is all his mother’s boy.

“Oh, I missed you, my baby.” 

Georgie wraps her arms around Jamie’s middle, getting swallowed by his frame for a moment. There’s no denying that part of (Y/N)’s heart breaks a little seeing how loving of a relationship these two have and wondering where she and her own mother went wrong.

And as it so happens with so many kids that have never been loved quite the way they deserved, (Y/N) can’t help but search for the problem in herself. 

“Yeah sorry for not visiting earlier. You know how it is with training and stuff.” 

“Don’t worry about it. I know my boy is busy being a star.” 

The words hold a slight mocking, never mean but in the way that only people who are close can tease each other. You know every word comes laced with deep affection, with pride, with love.

“And it’s so nice to meet you too. I’m Georgie.” 

It takes a second for (Y/N) to realize that Jamie’s mum is now talking to her directly.

“I uh — oh thank you. Nice to meet you too, I’m (Y/N).” 

Georgie smells like mint chewing gum and floral perfume as she pulls (Y/N) into a hug. She’s soft and gentle and it’s been the first hug from a mother (Y/N) has received in quite some time.

“Sorry, didn’t even ask if you’re a hugger.”

“Oh that’s alright, don’t worry about it.” 

She’s not a hugger, never really was, but there is something about Georgie granting her some affection that isn’t all that bad. Maybe their kid can have at least one grandmother who cares and who isn’t completely disgusted by the idea of showing any kind of positive emotions.

“Jamie never brings girlfriends around so I’m a bit out of my element here if I’m being honest.” 

“Mum we’re not — she’s not.” Jamie takes a big breath before starting again “(Y/N) and I are friends, yeah? Told you about it on the phone.” 

“Right, right. Well, you don’t bring around a lot of friends either so same difference, really. Now come inside will you, I’m sure we got a lot to catch up on.”

Oh if only she knew how true that sentiment really is.

There are pictures of Jamie staring back at (Y/N) from every corner of the house and Georgie leads them through the hallway and towards the kitchen. Every wall and every shelf holds a memory of him at one point in his life. Gap toothed with a football in hand smiling, surrounded by a field of tulips arm wrapped around his mother’s shoulder, his teenage self smoldering at the camera with an even more questionable haircut than the one he is sporting right now. Oh to be loved in a way that every past version of you is being remembered.

As they reach the kitchen a sweet scent fills the room when a man clad in an apron turns around and faces them with a huge smile playing on his face. He has a dorky kind of charm to him that immediately puts you at ease. Maybe it’s just the frilly apron, maybe it’s the big oven gloves, maybe it’s the smile. Either way, (Y/N) thinks that if they take the news well, her kid might have truly lucked out on one side of the grandparents department. 

“Jamie, welcome home.” 

“Hi Simon, thanks, mate. Glad to be back. This is (Y/N).” 

“The friend, right.” Simon says and shoots Georgie a look that neither of them misses. Subtlety doesn’t seem to be one of his best qualities. “It’s nice to meet you, (Y/N).”

“Nice to meet you too. It smells amazing in here.” 

“I found this new recipe for honey blondies. Not sure if they'll be any good but I guess we'll find out. If you guys want to go have a seat, I'll come bring them over.”

“Actually,” Jamie speaks up while nervously fiddling with his hands. “I was hoping we could have a talk before we do anything else. There’s something I need to tell you both.” 

Imagining the hypothetical scenario of telling your mum you’re having a baby and actually doing it really are two completely different things it seems. Gone is all of Jamie’s confidence and replaced with a whole lot of anxiety. 

“You're worrying me, Jamie. What has you acting so serious? Did you get someone pregnant or something?”

Georgie's words are followed by a thick awkward silence. It's heavy and suffocating and it makes (Y/N) feel uneasy in both her heart and her head.

It doesn't take long for Jamie’s parents to realize what his silence means. Everything communicated by not saying a single word.

“Oh, fuck.”

And there's nothing to add to Georgie's reaction. It's the exact same one (Y/N) had when she first saw those faint blue lines.

Of all the possible outcomes and ways this day could’ve gone, (Y/N) had not expected to find herself staring at not only a curly-haired Roy Kent but also come face to face with two very persuasive arguments belonging to no other than Keeley fucking Jones. 

“This is surreal.” 

The posters stare back at her all crinkled paper and bleached ink, as if to mock her silently. 

“Ah, well I told them to redecorate when I moved out, think they just haven’t gotten around to it yet.” 

A light dusting of pink settles on the apples of Jamie’s cheeks as well as the tips of his ears. This man can’t hide his emotions for the life of him. It’s quite adorable really. 

“Do they know?” 

“Does who know?” 

“Roy and Keeley. Do they know you have their pictures up in your room?”

“Well no and It’s not my room anymore, is it? ‘S not like I have ‘em hanging at home. Put these up ages ago.” 

A giggle slips through (Y/N)’s lips at his desperate attempt to talk himself out of this situation. 

“It’s okay, Jamie. I won’t tell.” 

“There’s nothing to tell, alright?” he responds in mock offense before sitting down on his childhood bed next to (Y/N). “Just liked boobs and football and those two were the best those fields had to offer, yeah? Can’t really blame me.” 

“Not much has changed has it?”

He shrugs his shoulders in response “Nah. Still like boobs and football but no way I’d put up a poster of granddad’s ugly mug nowadays.”

From the few times they talked about his job, including his teammates and coaches, (Y/N) was able to gather that Jamie’s relationship with Roy is something special. Odd, but special. Maybe that’s what happens when you end up working with your childhood idol. Either way, no matter how much shit he likes to talk about him, it’s clear that Jamie respects and admires Roy a great deal still.

“And uh — and Keeley?” 

“What about her?” 

“Is she — are you — how are things?” 

She still remembers that crestfallen look on his face on the day of the funeral. That infinite sadness in his eyes. She hadn’t put two and two together at that moment but later that night it all clicked. Keeley was the woman he was in love with, the woman who did not love him back. And while (Y/N) knows that she and Jamie are only bound together by happenstance and fate — if one chooses to believe in that, and that there is nothing romantic about their situation, it does sting a little to know that the man you’re having a baby with is in love with someone else.

“We’re good. We’re friends, think that’s all we’ll ever be. Her and Roy, they’re happy and I don’t want to ruin it for either of them. Keeley and I just were not right together.” 

“And you’re okay with that?” 

He nods his head, a small smile playing on his lips “Yeah, I’m alright with it. If I hadn’t made a fool of myself at the funeral then you and I wouldn’t have — you know, and then we wouldn’t be having a baby. Little Kidney Bean.” 

“That’s true. Your mum seemed excited.” 

“Hah, sorry about her. She can be intense.” 

Intense might be the understatement of the century. It took her approximately 2.3 seconds to get over the initial shock of the announcement and really process it before Georgie let out a scream of pure excitement and joy and wrapped both Jamie and (Y/N) up in her arms. She didn’t fully let go for a good 20 minutes. It was intense. It was also phenomenal.

“Don’t apologize. I am so glad she took it so well, Simon too. At least now I’ll have the certainty that my baby will have one set of loving grandparents at least.” 

“Hey,” Jamie says and nudges her shoulder with his “We’ll sort out telling your mum next, okay. I’m sure it’ll go better than you think. And if not we can always call up my mum for some more hugs and a pep talk. Whatever happens, you won’t have to do it alone. I promise.” 

For what is probably the first time in her life (Y/N) lets herself believe that there truly is someone else having her back, undisputedly and all the way. It’s unfamiliar. It’s a little scary. It’s also wonderful.

“Thanks, Jamie. I appreciate it, I really do. Think so far we’re doing alright, huh?” 

“I’d say so. Two sexy parents and a little Kidney Bean.” 

Their laughter echoes through Jamie’s childhood bedroom for quite a while longer until at some point it stills and gives room to soft breathing and quiet snores. The bed isn’t meant for two grown adults and really Jamie truly meant to sleep on the couch but somewhere between talks of baby clothes and childhood memories, eyes grew heavy and tired, and soon enough both of them are fast asleep.

Just them and their little Kidney Bean 

— and a curly-haired Roy Kent 

— and Keeley’s boobs.

taglist (@ me if you want to be taken off or added): @captainfrisbee - @scaramou - @mischiefmanaged71 - @rexorangecouny - @respondingtoshowerthoughts-blog - @tweasley20 - @dreamtrydoforkinggood - @oxxolovemelikeyoudooxxo - @heletsmelovehim - @snubug - @katdahlali - @oldglitterstory - @lalla-04p - @aiyaiy

[captainsophiestark]

Naval Wedding

Natasha "Phoenix" Trace x Reader

Masterlist - Join My Taglist!

Written for my personal fic writing challenge for 2024, Sophie's Year of Fic! Featuring a new fic being posted every Friday, all year long :)

Fandom: Top Gun

Summary: Phoenix needs a fake date to a Naval wedding to avoid sailors hitting on her all night, so who better to ask than her best friend?

Word Count: 2,925

Category: Fluff, Humor

Putting work into an AI program without permission is illegal. You do not have my permission. Do not do it.

"I have a favor to ask you."

I sighed dramatically, making a show of pulling my attention from my laptop to my best friend, Natasha "Phoenix" Trace, who sat across the table from me. She held her coffee mug with both hands and stared intently at me. Clearly, whatever she was about to say next had been on her mind for a bit now.

"It's something I need you to help me out with, if you don't mind. And if you're not busy."

I raised an eyebrow, closing my laptop and leaning across the table to match Natasha's posture.

"Okay, spit it out, Nat. You've never danced around something the way you're doing right now the entire time I've known you. What's wrong?"

Nat took a deep breath and squared her shoulders, then met my eyes with a new determination.

"I need you to be my fake date for a Navy wedding next weekend."

Honestly, I wasn't sure what I'd been expecting her to say, but it definitely wasn't that. The corner of my mouth quirked up in a smile, and I had to work to hold back a laugh.

"Nat... first of all, I'm in." Her shoulders immediately relaxed, the dire look on her face morphing into one of relief as she eaased back in her chair. I shook my head, still smiling. "Second, you seriously need to work on your delivery. I thougth you were about to ask me to help you hide a body."

Her eyebrow shot up.

"You thought I prefaced asking you to hide a body with 'if you don't mind' and 'if you're free'?"

I just shrugged and waved her off. "You were crazy grim and looked more stressed than I've ever seen you. I didn't think the favor was gonig to involve a party. Which brings me to third: why? I'm happy to go with you, but I'm a little surprised you're asking."

She sighed and rolled her eyes. "You know I work with a lot of men. Most of them are fine. Some of them are great. Some of them I want to punch in the nose sometimes. But at big Navy weddings, there's always tons of pilots I'm not familiar with, and at least a few of them always try to hit on me. This time, I don't want to deal with it. So... fake date."

I grinned. "Natasha Trace. Are you telling me that I get to scare off Naval Aviators all night if they try to hit on my girlfriend?"

Natasha grinned and shook her head with a laugh. I waited until she faced me again, then raised an eyebrow since she still hadn't answered my question.

"Alright, sure. You get to scare off anybody who flirts with me, any way you want to."

"Amazing."

****************

The next weekend, I stood in front of the mirror adjusting my outfit nervously while I waited for Natasha to arrive. We were meeting at my house, then driving over together.

When I'd told her I'd be happy to go as her fake date to this wedding, it had been a partial lie. I'd been wrestling with some feelings for my best friend since a few months ago, and I wasn't completely thrilled about the "fake" part of "fake date". When my doorbell finally rang and I opened the door to find Natasha looking like an absolute knockout, my heart did a few backflips before breaking in half as I remembered that she wasn't actually here for a real date.

"Wow," she said, sounding a little breathier than normal as she looked me up and down. "You look great."

"Me? Nat, you look stunning. Like, wow."

Nat looked up and met my eyes with a smile.

"Well, then I guess we make a good pair."

My heart did another flip, so I took a deep breath and stepped through the door to join Nat on the porch before she could give me a heart attack.

"Those Navy boys won't know what hit 'em," I declared, holding my arm out for Nat. She took it with a grin, and we headed for the car arm in arm. My heart skipped a couple beats at the proximity, and I did my best to tell it to shut up.

It mostly listened throughout the wedding ceremony. When we got to the venue, we got some looks and some raised eyebrows, especially from Natasha's closest Navy friends, who she apparently hadn't told about her plan. I got to ditch Hangman to cross the room and chase off a more tangentally-invited pilot who'd been hitting on Nat, which had been a highlight of the night so far, especially as she leaned into my side and I wrapped an arm around her. Unfortunately, we didn't get to linger, since we had to take our seats for the wedding itself.

It was beautiful, and thankfully, didn't stretch on too long. Before I knew it, we were heading to the reception, throwing a few of Nat's aviator friends in the back of the car to get to the venue hosting the reception. We blasted music, laughed, and I even got up the courage to reach out and take Nat's hand while she drove. She turned to me with a grin and squeezed my hand back, and I tried not to let my imagination run away from me about whether that might mean something.

We pulled into the venue, and Natasha immediately took my hand in hers. I bumped my shoulder into hers, and we shared a grin as we flowed through the doors with the rest of the wedding guests. The music was already blasting, and people were floating around and snacking while we waited for the bride and groom to arrive with the rest of the wedding party. Nat's friends went ahead of us as she stopped, turning to me with a smile.

"Alright, what's first? Food or drinks?"

"Hmm... I know the guests of honor aren't here yet, but what about dance floor?"

She laughed. "Okay, drinks it is. If you actually want to pull me out there, I'm going to need more than just water in my veins."

"I don't think the alcohol actually goes into your veins-"

"You know what I mean! Come on, I'll get you your favorite. On me."

"Isn't it an open bar?"

"And isn't it the thought that counts?"

I laughed, letting Natasha pull me along and through the crowd, trailing after her with a happy smile. When she came to a stop at the bar, tugging me up to stand next to her, I had to fight very hard against the urge to lean in and kiss her, then and there. I swallowed, but managed to get a hold of myself and respond to her instead.

"Yeah. Yeah, it's the thought that counts."

Nat and I ate the snacks and chatted with her close friends while we waited for the couple to arrive, and then for the party to really start. Dinner was delicious, the toasts were sweet, and not long after the last one finished, the dance floor officially opened for business.

I turned to Nat, intending to make good on my answer of what I first wanted to do when we got here, but I found her facing in the other direction as some guy in a suit smiled down at her, one of his hands resting on the back of her chair. I narrowed my eyes.

He didn't notice me, he was too focused on Nat. I knew she was more than capable of telling him to get lost on her own, but I also knew that the main reason she'd asked me to be her date at all tonight was to avoid dealing with clowns like these. I stood and walked around to stand next to him, pushing my way into the spot between him and the table and holding a hand out to Nat.

"Hey, babe," I said, smiling at Nat without sparing a glance for the guy. "You ready to hit the dancefloor?"

She grinned back at me in sync with the guy beside me saying "Babe?" as a clear question directed at me. I turned to face him like I had all the time in the world, keeping a straight face as I met his eyes.

"Yeah. That's generally what I call my girlfriend. You got a comment about that?"

The guy blanched, taking a half step back and removing his arm from the back of Natasha's chair.

"Uh... no. Sorry."

"Don't apologize to me, she's the one who had to put up with some random guy trying to put moves on her."

The guy scowled, but he muttered a quick apology to Natasha all the same before heading off into the crowd again. I watched him go, then turned to Nat with the massive grin I'd been holding back the whole time.

She shook her head, mirroring my grin all the same.

"You have way too much fun doing that."

I shrugged. "Maybe. But you don't have any fun doing it for yourself, so this seems like by far the best option."

"I guess I can't argue with you there."

"You're right, you can't. Now come on, I want to dance with my girlfriend. Let's get out there."

My heart hammered in my chest at my own words, worried that I'd overstepped, even in the context of a group in public for our fake-date situation. But Natasha just smiled at me again, softer this time, and took my hand.

"Fine. I guess I'm tipsy enough for this. Barely."

I laughed, pulling her out onto the dancefloor behind me. Tipsy or not, I usually enjoyed making a fool of myself on the dancefloor, and it turned out to be even better with Nat's hand in mine, the two of us spinning in and out of each other's arms.

The rest of the wedding party disappeared as we lost ourselves in the music, just the two of us, breathing hard between laughs and holding each other tightly. Eventually, the music wound down from the high-energy stuff we'd been listening to, shifting to something made for slow dancing. We stuttered to a stop on the floor as couples flocked in all around us, and I looked at Nat.

She shrugged, stepping closer to me and putting her hands on my waist.

"We're supposed to be a couple too, right?"

I grinned back at her. "Damn right."

I laid my arms across Nat's shoulders and the two of us swayed back and forth on the dancefloor, the low lights sweeping over us as we moved. I couldn't take my eyes off of her, and the corner of her mouth lifted up like she'd noticed. Slowly, she leaned in, and my heart just about stopped in my chest. She rested her forehead against mine, and I sighed, half content to stay here like this with her as long as she wanted, half disappointed she hadn't been going in for a kiss.

When the music of the slow dance faded, we just stayed where we were for a long moment before finally pulling away from each other. I opened my mouth to say something, although I wasn't totally sure what yet, but before either of us got the chance to speak the music picked up again, and her closer aviator friends swarmed us on the dancefloor.

"I can't believe you got Phoenix out to dance!" called Fanboy, grinning as he threw one arm over her shoulder, jumping up and down to the beat. Natasha tried to duck his arm, presumably to ditch the dancefloor, but Fanboy knew her well enough that he managed to stop her. I gave them a half-hearted smile, then took the opportunity myself to slip away from the crowd.

I knew Nat probably would've wanted me making up a girlfriend excuse to get her out of there. Normally I would've helped her, but that moment on the dancefloor before her friends showed up had felt so real, and I needed to take a moment to remind myself that it wasn't.

I ducked and weaved through the crowd with relative ease, since only Nat's close friends would've recognized me and they were all out on the dancefloor. I made my way to the bar, not even ordering, just leaning against it for a second. Enough other people hovered around that it'd be hard to spot me amongst the crowd, but I could still see Nat out on the dancefloor, laughing and smiling even as she shook her head and tried to tell her friends to get lost.

I was in love with her. Her attitude, confidence, strength, wit. The way she smiled at me when I said something funny or called Hangman "Bagman" even though I barely knew him and had no reason (other than loyalty to Nat) to use the nickname. I was in love with her, and I had been for a long time, but after tonight, I wasn't going to be able to ignore it anymore. This night had been a mistake.

"Hey! You want a drink?"

I reluctantly turned to face the person shouting in my ear only to find Rooster, one of Natasha's best friends, leaning over to talk to me, his shirt unbuttoned and his tie around his head.

"Uh... that's okay," I said. "I think I'm good."

"You sure? You made me a lot of money tonight!"

I crossed my arms and raised an eyebrow at him, but he was drunk enough that he didn't get the hint. He turned and quickly snagged two bottles of beer from the bartender, who had to explain to Rooster that it was an open bar and he didn't need to pay, before Rooster finally turned back to me with a grin.

"Want one of these?"

"No," I said, gently pushing aside the bottle he offered me as I took a step forward. "Rooster, what do you mean I made you a lot of money tonight?"

"Technically you and Phoenix! Everybody kept betting that you guys weren't going to figure out your shit for another month at least, but I had faith-"

"Bradley, what the hell are you talking about?"

"You guys!" he said, motioning emphatically with the beers in his hands between me and the dancefloor, where Nat had been cajoled into enjoying at least one song. "Finally getting together! After hearing her wax poetic about how great you are since the day you guys met, we started taking bets on when she'd finally do something about it. And I won! So, thanks!"

"Hold on..." I reached out, taking Rooster's arm to steady myself. The room had started spinning around me, and it had nothing to do with alcohol. "Roos, what are you saying? What do you mean, Nat's been talking about me since the day we met?"

"Ah, I probably shouldn't have told you," he said, shaking his head and at last lowering his voice to normal volume, although it was still far from a whisper. "But it's probably fine now, since you're dating. God, she used to drive us all crazy talking about how great you were and how much of a thing she had for you. It's probably gonna get worse now though, since you guys finally admitted you were pining after each other- Hey, where are you going?"

I ignored Rooster as I headed back to the dance floor, a buzzing in my brain as his words echoed. He was clearly drunk, but if anything, that made me more confident that what he'd told me was the truth. The whole time I'd been driving myself crazy trying not to admit feelings for one of my best friends, she'd been doing the same thing.

Before I knew it, I stood in front of Natasha again. The music still thumped, people laughing and jumping and twirling all around us, but I barely noticed. Nat stood to one side of Fanboy, with Bob on his other side, the two of them holding him up as he attempted to drag them both into a dance, so it took Nat a minute to notice me. But once she did, she straightened up.

"Hey, are you okay?"

I nodded, taking a step closer to her.

"Rooster spilled his guts. You like me. For real."

Shock registered on her face, then straight rage as she whipped her head around to look for Rooster. I just grinned, pushing Fanboy's arm off her as I closed the rest of the distance between us.

"Nat. I like you, too. For real."

She whipped her head back around so quickly that she almost broke my nose. Her wide eyes searched mine, one eyebrow raised.

"Are you kidding?"

"Hell no I'm not kidding. Nat... can I kiss you?"

She grinned, any trace of trepidation or irritation melting away all at once.

"Hell yeah you can."

I grinned back, letting my hand come up to the back of her neck as I leaned in and finally, finally kissed Natasha. She wrapped an arm tightly around my waist, pulling me closer to her as we deepened the kiss. Some cheers and whoops from her friends snapped us both out of it enough to finally pull away, both of us smiling delirious-looking smiles.

"I'm so glad you asked me to be your date to this, Nat," I breathed, letting my arms fall to rest on her shoulders. Her hands came onto my waist, her smile turning into more of a grin.

"Me too. Although, I am looking forward to an opportunity for a real date, without my idiot friends in range or any other people trying to hit on me."

"Sounds great. How about... tomorrow night?"

Nat threw her head back and laughed, but when she met my eyes again and saw me looking as serious as ever, she grinned again.

"Alright. Tomorrow night it is."

"I can't wait."

****************

Everything Taglist: @rosecentury @kmc1989 @space-helen

Top Gun Taglist: @elenavampire21

[hotluncheddie]

I'm on that autistic Steve shit!!!! (sorry no hc of Eddie.... can only focus on Steve ❤️)..... my favorite favorite favorite autistic Steve hc is that he is so so charming so charismatic so cool but it's entirely an act..... like he learned it from books and movies and watching other people and like his emotional / social intelligence is thru the roof bc of that.... I think I saw it described in a fic once as "he knows exactly what people want to hear"..... and I think he does revel in being a chameleon and doing that but of course it's draining!!! my fav is him letting the mask down in front of Very Important people..... I'm writing a fic rn where when Steve tries to mask around hopper he's like "boy stop that you know you don't have to do that here"..... I get such such terminal Nothing Face after a long day and I like to think Steve does too and he's worried Eddie will find it off-putting the first time he shuts down and still wants to hang out with him..... but Eddie is so so endeared by it and is very gentle with him "you ran out of faces, huh baby? that's alright" .....

2jug2head “you ran out of faces, huh baby? That’s alright.” That honestly melted my heart. I had to curl up in a little ball to deal with that.

It’s !!!!! So !!!!!! Sweet !!!!!!!!!

and omg having Hopper be like that with Steve, letting him know in that blunt, simple Hopper way I'm !!!!!! thats so good !!!! I will love love love to read that fic when u finish it !!!! pls tag me if u post it !!!!

but yeah I really really hc Steve as being super high masking, very capable socially, very able to read people. he's used so much of his life to think about others and be what's best in any possible situation. he always wants to be perfect in his interactions with people, wants to 'win' at it. wants to be the best version of himself for every person that he meets. and he mostly does. he's good at it, he's smart and a lot of people follow the same sort of conversions, expect similar things. he’s been around enough people and been in enough situations to have scripts and reactions to most scenarios. he can recognise patterns well and so he does that, but with people, over and over and over. so much so that he doesn't even think about it now, doesn't really even realise what he doing.

he’s very capable, very good and smart socially, but it's to his detriment. it means no one really knows him. it means he doesn't really know himself.

it's like he's a little perfect puppet and when he's alone it feels like this freak monster comes out; with all these feelings and thoughts and emotions that he doesn't know what to do with, doesn't know if they're normal. and he doesn't know how to tell anyone about it either, how to express it or talk about in the right way.

because he's so so scared of being made fun of, or being alone; of being told off, or being weird. and sometimes it makes him so sad, because he doesn't always know how to stop - he's so quick to respond wth his scripts that he forgets to think about what he really thinks, really feels. and he can't stop.

to unmask, at times, most times, feels herculean - to show someone who you really are? that feels impossible. terrifying. to ask for time to think? to risk saying something wrong? being honest feels deeply unnatural somehow - to be honest about how he feels, what he thinks, what he needs. he just, he's never done that before...

so when he's navigating these people, these relationships he so so cares about. with Robin and Eddie and Dustin and Hopper, even.

this is the slew of feelings he has to wade through when trying to be close to them, to keep them, to do what they ask of him. this is what he has to work through. and sometimes, sometimes they act as if it's so easy. as if it is so easy to say the honest truth when asked 'what's up?' or 'what do you think?' or 'what do you want?'

that's not easy, its never been easy. and it makes him feel like a freak once he realises it should be.

-

yeah idk that got kind of sad, sorry. but like. this is where I imagine him, when you get to the good, lovely, cozy, wonderful parts. I just, I think this is the thing, my lovely wonderful high high high masking Steve - this is what he's going through to get to the good. and its hard.

[cowboy-lover69]

could you please write a reaction for the ghostfaces where they realize their partner is afraid of them?

Ghostface's finding out you fear them.

(965 words)

(notes)

HEYYYY, sorry I haven't posted in ages am not super into scream anymore as you can tell by my rebrand BUT I still will be posting scream fic every once in a while if I feel like writing them

Requests are still open but I will be doing them less often

sorry for the 2 missing Ghostfaces in this one I was drained.

Billy Loomis

---  After you found out Billy was Ghostface Billy was very `paranoid that you were afraid of him, we would constantly ask for your reassurance that you weren’t  

---  I feel he would overcompensate out of fear that you would either fall out of love with him and report him to the police or that you would straight up fear him which is not what he wanted.  

--- Once we realized you did fear him even though you would reassure him that you didn’t he would be angry, which didn’t help. He would reason that you knew him and you know he never does anything like that to use whether you were convinced or not is up to you.     

Stu Matcher

---  Stu was very oblivious to the fact that you weren’t comfortable around him after finding out he was Ghostface, He just couldn't connect the dots.   

--- he could tell you were uncomfortable since you were pretty visually upset but he didn’t know what to do. Most likely after you found out he was Ghostface everything went back to “normal” at least for a little bit.  

--- After he found out you feared him he was very upset you didn’t tell him. He wasn’t angry at you, he was just upset you didn’t trust him enough to say to him. He would probably try to talk to you about it and make sure you feel comfortable again.

Mickey Altieri

--- When you found out he was Ghostface Mickey just assumed that you would fear him, he was very surprised when you “didn’t”. 

---  I feel like Mickey would be pretty insensitive about the whole thing. He would joke around about being Ghostface and couldn't tell it made you very uncomfortable.

--- Once he found out you were scared of him he wasn’t quite sure how to handle the whole ordeal. He really did care about you but he wasn't going to stop being Ghostface for you because he thought you were being a tad dramatic.

Roman Bridger

---  Roman was not sure when you found out he was Ghostface. Mostly out of the fact he didn’t think you were the type to care all too much but his judgment was wrong

--- For the most part, everything went on as normal; it never really came up in conversations because you would try to avoid the topic. 

--- After Roman found out how you really felt he was a little surprised but too careful in trying to make you feel better about the whole thing explaining why he's doing it so you understand better.

Jill Roberts

--- Jill was a little concerned when you found out she was Ghostface but she quickly realized if you valued your own life you wouldn't tell.

---  so she used that to her advantage trying to have you cover for her and Charlie during the murders sometimes. She enjoyed being able to have you help but didn't realize how scared of her you really were.

--- Once she found out she reassured you of how much power and fame you guys would have after the killings if she kept you around for that long. She did care about you but if you became an issue she would not have a problem dealing with you.

Charlie Walker

--- Charlie valued you quite a bit both emotionally and physically, the first thing he was worried about when you found out he was Ghostface was how you felt. You acted like you were fine with it so he assumed you were cool with it without looking too much into the outside of the 

--- he enjoyed the idea of Bonnie and Clyde partners in crime etc it was a fantasy of his. He would make you help him and Jill which you were not comfy with but you would never say anything even when he got a little carried away.

--- Once it slipped out that you were uncomfortable with him being Ghostface and with all the things you had seen him do you feared him a little, he was not quite sure how to handle it. He carried for you a lot but he was curious if he would choose you over being Ghostface.

Amber Freeman

--- Amber enjoyed being Ghostface. Somewhere in her diluted mind, she thought you would join her and be happy for her, and out of fear you told her that you did. She was thrilled she had someone to share this with besides Richie.

--- she wouldn’t make you do anything but she loved to be able to be confined to you when she needed someone to talk to about her murders. She liked Richie and he was there but she loved you. 

--- Once she found out you feared her, she felt a surge of remorse that she had been pushing this on you before trying to justify it. She would say “Come on sweetheart you know I would never do you.” whether you believe her or not is up to you.  

Ethan Landry

--- Ethan was very apologetic once you found out he was Ghostface he didn’t want to lose you because he loved you. Out of fear, you lied that you were ok and didn’t fear for your life at that moment. 

--- he did his best not to talk about it with you or get you involved at all. He didn't want you wrapped up in his shit since he didn’t want you to be in a position where you were in his way and he would have to hurt you.

--- it ended up coming out that you were afraid of him, Ethan felt very bad. He tried his best to comfort you and make sure you understood he would never hurt you intentionally. He made it clear that if you did fear him, he would break up with you for your sake.

(request semi open not 100% I will do them)

masterlist

[thatfreshi]

Little Stars and Such (Astarion x Reader)

It's here, the piercing fic, in which body-modded Tav gives Astarion hella piercings. I made a previous post with his piercing map in case you guys don't know the terms (I basically didn't until yesterday)

Tw - needles, implied sex

Recommended Song: Gregg's Woods - Alec Holowka

For the past couple of days, Astarion has been asking quite a few questions about your piercings. You had adorned your nose and face in tiny pieces of metal, all done by hand. Your little collection has grown over time, most recently with an eyebrow piercing once you settled down in Baldur's Gate once again.

"Do they hurt?"

"Like, when you pierce them? Yeah. You get used to it though. Surprised you don't have any honestly, elves are known for having the most elaborate piercings."

He stays silent for a moment, and you realize he wouldn't know that.

"Wasn't exactly a thing Cazador just let us do. Body modifications were mostly limited to demonic scars and being cut up for fun."

"Right... sorry."

"Don't be."

The conversation ended pretty abruptly, but picked up the next day while you were swapping out your nose ring.

"Do you ever get scared that your little ring will get caught on something and rip out of your nose?"

A sudden question, but a welcome one.

"I mean, sometimes, but not many people are that close to my nose. Unless you're planning on ripping out my piercing?"

You eye him suspiciously and he smirks.

"Oh, I would never."

This goes on for days, little prodding questions about all your accessories. One morning, while the two of you are lying in bed, you catch him staring at the helix on your ear.

"Astarion do you... do you want a piercing? Because I can do them. I mean I did these to myself."

"I've been thinking about it. I'm just a little nervous is all."

"Why my love?"

"I mean, I've never really had the freedom to do what I want with my body, in a lot of ways. That's one of those things I never got to explore, all the body modifications people are oh so familiar with. I suppose I could've done one with an embroidery needle if I was desperate, but that's just not something I had the liberty to think about."

You move a strand of hair out of his eyes.

"Well, you have the freedom to do whatever you want now."

"Then perhaps I'd like a couple."

"A couple? You don't wanna start with one?"

"Nonsense! One would be sad and pathetic, and we know I am a man of extravagance."

"Alright, if you insist."

You then grab a notebook sitting on the bedside table, and begin to draw out a plan for his piercings. Astarion insists that he only wants them on his ears, because he doesn't want anything to ruin his perfect face. As you're sketching, you continue to talk.

"You know this is gonna suck, right? Since your ears are so sensitive?"

"Sensitive? What makes you say that."

You blankly stare at him until he gives up.

"Okay fine, but I'm sure it can't be that bad!"

"I don't know. I mean I'm going to stab multiple holes through your ears. You barely like them being touched."

"I've been through enough pain. Nothing compares to jagged cuts in your back, I promise."

There are many moments like that, where he says something tragic that you just can't bring yourself to argue with. Without another word, he curls up against you, and the two of you discuss the options he has. Eventually, you settle on five on each side, because he INSISTED they be symmetrical.

"Tav, what kind of idiot would I look like if I had one ear with a bunch of shit on it, and one just, empty?"

"I guess you're not wrong."

He decides on two helixes, two lobe piercings, and a daith. You're a little surprised that he's going all out on this, but you don't mind. Everyone has that thing that lets them feel free, the thing they finally do to show the world 'I'm my own person.' Besides, if he didn't like them he could simply let them heal back up, forget this ever happened.

You go to grab your little makeshift piercing kit, full of fine needles you've collected over time, just in case you ever lose some.

"Now, you'll have to wear some of mine since you don't have your own earrings yet, but I'm sure you won't mind because my collection is amazing."

He sits up in bed, his shirt sleeve softly draping off his shoulder. If he could still be in the sun, you'd imagine a beam of light coming through the window right now, illuminating his face. You sit beside him, gently placing the box of needles by your feet.

"Alright, I'm gonna walk you through this as I do it, and if you want to stop at any time we can."

"Thank you my love."

The thought crosses your mind, that he'd probably not let any other soul on the planet do this kind of thing. Any time he's let someone else have control over his body, it's been riddled with sin and scars. But you? You've always been kind, soft, present. That's one thing he loves most about you, that he feels like he can be present. Not drifting off somewhere else, not closing off his mind to defend himself, not playing a chess match in his head. It's, easy. Life is easy now, and isn't that something wonderful?

"Alright, we're gonna start on the lobe. You feel the needle?"

You hold it lightly against his ear, and he shivers a little.

"Mhm."

"Alright, don't tense, but it's gonna hurt."

You hear the air escape through his teeth as the needle goes through. A pretty clean job if you do say so yourself.

"Well?"

You put in a dangling gold moon, waiting to see how he feels.

"Painful, but not horrible."

"Want to go again?'

"Of course."

He says it a little suggestively, and you give him a playful push.

"Save it for later imp."

You continue with his piercings, taking small breaks in between for conversation. You've continued adorning his ears with astral-themed jewelry, little stars and such. By the time you've finished the last one, you're quite pleased with your work. Astarion almost doesn't let you put the last earring in since he's so excited to see what you've done. He had Gale teach him mirror image a while ago, so he could finally see his reflection whenever he wanted. After casting it and giving his ears a look, he smiles.

Astarion laughs at your comment, giving one of those genuine smiles you used to rarely see. You silently curse the people that took that smile from him, wondering how anyone could see this specimen and torment him. He's like a pixie, a little trickster, someone you could pick up and hold forever. You know you're probably the only one who sees him that way, the only one who would call him cute, but he is. He enjoys it, being viewed as something that isn't devious or sexual, but a bright presence. You told him once how it's ironic that he can't be in the sun, because he was probably sunnier than the sun itself. He'd never let you tell anyone else that though.

"I... I think I quite like them."

"I do too. It's fitting."

You plant a kiss on his cheek.

"Worth the pain?"

"Most things are my love. Like you."

His hand meets your face, taking you into a deep kiss. When you break away, you whisper in his ear.

"I think they make you sexier too."

A chuckle under his breath, lips meeting again, and the morning is soon wasted away in bed. What a joy, to wake up every day with him, with someone living their life anew. Who knows what tomorrow will bring? Neither of you know, but it's exciting none-the-less.

[juvenillia]

hey hi Jules! i love ur writing... dopom is simply amazing and i cant wait to see where the story is going now ❤️❤️

so i saw that ur kinda taking reqs so i wanted to ask what do u think how the 141 (+ Konig) would react to a reader who moved on from them? maybe a bit hurt/comfort yk

i hope ur fine with such a request, love ya ❤️

Hey there anon and sorry for coming back to your request that late, but tbh you request fitted my one shot for Ghost so damn perfectly that I wanted to finish that one beforehand so I could shamelessly promote it with your request another time, so thanks for your request and your love for DoPoM!! I love you!!! (that fic is my baby and I literally can’t wait to show you where the story will lead soon, atm I’m writing the big plot twist for the story but pssst)

Moving On [headcanon]

a/n: Maybe I got carried away, but I hope you still like it. Still I think it's not my best work. No matter what the reason of your breakup was, the man you love/d wasn’t happy about it. Still those men have really different ways to deal with the breakup and aftermath. In my head the obvious reason for the breakup would be that they want you to be happy, that they can’t bear the thought of the continuous angst and worry you must live through because of them. Maybe also a bit of jealousy, or maybe you decided to go because you couldn’t keep up with the longing and lonely nights anymore. Let’s be honest, dating one of those men would be heartbreaking and thrilling at the same time, you’d need nerves and patience like the soldier they are. It’s not for the weak.

tw/cw: slight mentions of suggestive content, toxic behavior, depression, guilt and more

Characters: Soap, Price, Ghost, Gaz, König

》Master Post《

Johnny – Patience/Eagerness – Would simply not stop being your partner. Yes, you broke up, but why should he leave your side? He denies the thought that you don’t need him because he knows you do. He’ll make sure to show you that you are indeed in no need of any other man than him in your life. Will keep referring to you as his significant other anywhere he goes. Will keep the cute polaroid of you in the pocket of his tactical vest. You need someone to help set up your new ikea bed in your new flat? He’ll be there in no time to lend a helping hand. You try to turn his favors down, but he reminds you anytime: “We’re still friends bonnie, aren’t we?” and he’s right. You couldn’t just shove him out of your life, he means too much to you after the years spent with him. And don’t let me get started of the idea that you’d go out with a new man and the date went horribly wrong. Johnny would make sure to lend you a shoulder for you to cry on. Stroking your hair, reassuring you that no matter what he would never leave your side. Not pushing you to far out of your comfort zone. Maybe he starts to accept that you both are simply friends now, very close friends. But anytime he asks you about your latest attempt to date someone new and you tell him how bad that guy treated you, a new glimpse of hope is added to his heart that still is beating only for you. He would love to scream at you that if you’re willing to try he would be the man carrying you to the altar in no time. But he knows you need to see it for yourself that he still is the right choice for you and he’s willing to wait for you to open your eyes.

Price – Jealousy/Possessiveness – But not in the bad-bad way, only a so much that it’s still kinda attractive you know? This man will let you go because he knows it’s for the best, but he won’t leave your life. He is confident enough to think that you won’t find anything better than him. He shared everything with you, and he knows everything about you. You’re going out with your girls, he will be at the same bar, scaring away any man that only dares to look at you for too long. You will once a week get a bouquet of your favorite flowers with a little handwritten note. Nothing more than a little compliment like “Pretty flowers for the pretty Mrs.” and you know that handwriting too well. Anytime you manage to hook up with someone new, he would be there too. Catching your glance, walking past you with a little “That’s my replacement, love? You can do better than that…” Only mumbled so you’re the only one to hear it. He won’t force you into anything back but makes sure that whenever you try to forget about him, he’s right there to shove his presence back into your head and heart. He doesn’t ask you out, he wants you to come back to him. And after a long time, and many bad dates you eventually realize that you won’t get happy with a different man. So, when you get weak and crawl back to him, he’s going to make sure to show you how much he missed you, and that no man would make you feel like he’s able to. And believe me, he’s making sure you won’t leave another time.

Ghost – Anger/Guilt – He does understand why you left, always tells himself that you’re better off without him, still he feels so much anger inside of him. Anger aimed towards himself. He is angry that he couldn’t be the best version of himself around him. Angry that he couldn’t be the man you needed; you deserved, what sends him into a downward spiral of guilt. Guilty of everything you gave up for being with him, guilty about everything you invested into that relationship, just to break every string off. Just to discard you out of his life, because he knows better than anyone that you deserve better than him. Still, he feels the pure selfishness in wanting you back in his arms. He would straight forward tell you how he feels at this point. Knowing that he isn’t the best to talk about his feelings but knowing that he has to try his best to get you back. So expect something like “I would do anything to get ya back.”  You were the only thing giving him a place looking forward to return to and finally rest, how could he give up to that? The only thing that convinces him to keep out of your life would be the realization that you really are happier with another person. And if you’re interested in that even more I recommend reading 》 happier 《 my one-shot about that exact storyline.

Kyle – Grief/Shock – Can’t handle the breakup and is devasted. He locks himself up, doesn’t talk with anyone about it. He wouldn’t try to talk you into staying with him, because he loves you too much to try to force something on you. His mind is always circling around all the things that might have prevented that outcome. Everything eats him up. He leaves your life without a trace for you to take. Not wanting to get in your way. Still, he makes a private fake Instagram account to still be able to have an insight of your life. When he notices that you started dating a new man his heart breaks again. The last bits of hope for a shared future shattered into million pieces. You were his person, there won’t be anything he could do about it. Nothing could convince him otherwise, but he sees that you seem happy with the new guy, so he learns to live with the pain in his chest. Is laying between the memories you shared and will always hold onto them. Maybe at some point found the courage to tell you, that he’s happy for you new relationship and that he is still grateful for everything you went through with him. But he really didn’t expect an invitation for your wedding to land in his mail. Still, he goes, because he knows it makes you happy. Seeing you in the white dress, kissing your now husband, it really makes him tear up, still he’s forcing a smile onto his lips as he tells you, that he can’t stay long because of duty. You gave him a quick hug, thank him for his coming with the same sweet smile he fell in love back then. “I missed that smile a lot.” He admits and leaves your life completely afterwards. Still, the sight of you in that dress haunts him at night, knowing that you’ll never be his.

König – Denial/Pity – Hear me out, I do believe he would straight up say no. Like you tell him you want to break up with him and he is just like. “Aber nein, mein Mäuschen [Well, no, my little mouse] You don’t want that.” You are not allowed to leave him, sure he is reasonable and will talk things out with you, but you won’t be able to leave him so easily. Promising that he’ll do better, that he’ll change. He knows you better than anyone and will try everything to keep you in his life. You’d need to leave him when he’s deployed, the only time he couldn’t hold you back. So, when at someday you’re out with a new guy he finally steps in. Wrapping his arm around your waist, glaring at the man in front of you. “Do you really thought I’d let you go?” he mocks and strokes your side gentle. He sees how you still melt under his touch, because he knows that he had ruined you for any other man. He knows that you only wanted him, so he openly shows his pity for that poor guy that never really had a chance in the first place. But also, the pity he feels when he sees how hard you try to move on from him. He would never deny your desire, so he takes you back and reassures you once more, that he loves you and that you don’t need to leave him. That he will always come back to you, no matter what. You’re his reason he fights and survive.

[fleurriee]

— love and life ; neteyam sully

pairing ; neteyam sully x fem!reader

synopsis ; yourself and neteyam had managed to keep your relationship a secret for a short while by your request. but there was always going to be a time when the truth had to come out.

word count ; 7.1k

themes ; fluff, slight angst

warnings ; kissing, overprotective father, use of y/n...

author’s note ; god i have no idea how i feel about this chapter. it’s kinda choppy & a little all over the place, but i did enjoy writing it & i love my little loves so much <33 tysmmm for reading this series,, kinda sad that it’s over, but, i will but posting little tid bits of them every now and again, so make sure to look out for them!!

previous part

day and night series masterlist main masterlist request a fic!

That particular moment had been playing in the back of your head like a home movie for weeks now, on a continuous loop until you were sure you could memorise every small detail about it. Because, from that moment on, you and Neteyam had… something going on.

When he’d asked you about trying something out together, going at a slow and comfortable pace for your benefit, but allowing the two of you to experience some sort of relationship together - it was all so surreal.

Sometimes, you catch yourself thinking back to the time when they’d first arrived in your home, and your eyes couldn’t help but gravitate towards him. He was like a magnet, one you were drawn towards, his ethereal energy catching on to each of your senses and never letting go. Maybe you should’ve realised from that day that you had felt something for the outsider, even if it was just a little crush.

Even now, you couldn’t exactly pinpoint what it was that you felt for him - all you knew was that it was completely loving, nerve-wracking and all-encompassing… and, you couldn’t ask for anything more. Not when it came to Neteyam Sully.

Of course, with such a big change to your routine of life, came the obvious consequences. When you both feared such a loving feeling, and sought it out at the same time, there was truly no way to hide how you were feeling. Maybe it was because you wear your emotions more on your sleeve than you’d realised, or maybe certain people just know you a little too well.

Suffice to say, Tsireya was the first one to notice.

Sure, you’d been acting a little funnier or weirder than normal, but you didn’t think anyone would take too much notice in that. After all, no one really considered you to act in the ‘normal’ sense for a typical Na’vi anyway.

Alas, when Tsireya had cornered you one evening, coming to her senses after watching over you and picking out subtle things over the past few days, she’d questioned you - she’d asked you if anything was wrong, what was going on with the way you were acting.

At first, you were ready to deny everything, but she hadn’t exactly accused you of anything, had she? And, when you attempted to respond some form of normality to her, the only thing that left your mouth was stumbled words and incoherent mumbles. Even if you weren’t going to attempt to lie to her just for your own piece of mind, you didn't know what the truth was, still slightly unsure yourself.

But, Tsireya being Tsireya, someone who had grown up with you practically since day one, side to side and hip to hip, through every up and down that you experienced together, noticed the blush coating your cheeks and the way you couldn’t get a proper word out, and she knew instantly.

“Is it him?” Her question had come out with a slight tease to it, a subtle smirk upon her lips, but still, her words were gentle and soothing, not wanting to scare you off for thinking anything else.

Your rambling had stopped instantaneously, head shooting up to her in shock, mouth hung slightly agape as you were at a lost for words. Maybe you had an idea how you were easy to read… but, you didn’t think you were that easy!

“You two disappeared the other night…” she started, and the blush on your cheeks only went darker, looking down at your lap. “Was he good to you - was he nice?”

Slight confusion grew within you at her seemingly random questions, unsure as to why she was asking you these specific ones. Nevertheless, with furrowed brows and narrowed eyes, trying to will the blush to disappear from your cheeks, you nodded in response.

She sighed. “Then let yourself fall in love with him, y/n…”

In an instant, everything blows wide - your eyes, your mouth, your mind. You could feel your ears perking up astonishingly at her words, repeating them within your brain in order to properly have a grasp on them and understand them. But, despite your shocked and intimidated expression, the one thing that truly gave you away was something you couldn’t control - your tail. It flickers back and forth in excitement the moment you comprehend Tsireya’s words, and you couldn’t get it to stop.

Still, you’re adamant. “No,” you deny, shaking your head, “no, ‘reya, it’s not-”

“It is,” she cut you off, a gentle hand placing itself down upon one of your crossed legs and gently rubbing her thumb along the skin there. She’d always been good at calming you down and bringing you back to the ground. “I can see it from here, and Neteyam’s not even near us right now…” Despite the loving gestures and gentle words, she sighs when she notices the unfortunate forlorn expression upon your features, nerves on show and not leaving anytime soon. At the sight, she shuffles herself closer to your figure, embracing you warmly like she knows always works, her arm snug around you. “You said it yourself - he’s nice. From what I’ve seen, he’s a gentleman - he won’t hurt you. And, I know it can be scary, but it can also be exciting and beautiful and magical.” With one last soft squeeze against her, she speaks with the upmost seriousness you’ve seen within her. “Let yourself fall in love with him, y/n.”

And, you did.

For the rest of that day, and practically the entire night, you’d thought of nothing but the words your best friend had spoken to you. They replayed themselves over and over for you, continuously causing yourself to question everything you’d ever known. But, in the end, you knew she was right, and you knew you were practically already there anyway. Thankfully, you hadn’t seen Neteyam, which allowed you to attempt to sort your thoughts and feelings out, preparing what you were going to say to him whenever you saw him next without any distractions.

Eventually, when you’d gone back home to your marui that night, you’re parents had picked up on the clouded expression you were holding, too; the way your eyes were slightly glazed over and your mind was clearly too far away to be present with the rest of you. But, they knew better than to question you on it.

There were times when your parents knew it was better to leave you alone and let you deal with it yourself rather than coddle you to open up about whatever was bothering you. They knew you liked to keep your feelings to yourself every now and again - that way, they don’t feel as real as they actually are - and, even though they know it’s not exactly the healthiest for you, sometimes it can end up with bigger consequences if they try and push you.

So, neither of them say anything, rather just sharing a slightly worried look between the two of them as they let you bask in your lingering and overbearing thoughts. Not much else is said that night, the three of you having dinner together, but it’s clear you’re still not entirely there. Maybe you just needed to sleep it off…

Except, the next day, you truly believed you were going to be sick any moment.

Even though you’d spend the entire night thinking this whole thing over, you somehow still felt unprepared, like your next moves were going to cause the end of the world and that would be it for you… even though you’d technically had this conversation with him beforehand. Still, you just wanted to be clear on some things. You couldn’t blame yourself.

When you found him a short distance away, looking out at the water as he watched over his youngest sister, Tuk, splashing about and making tiny waves, your nerves completed skyrocketed. But, these nerves felt both bad and good, and you weren’t entirely sure what to do with that information, because, for the longest time, your nerves had only ever felt like the worst. And, now, here comes Neteyam, strolling into your life, gently grasping a hold on your heart and not wanting to give it back.

You still couldn’t entirely wrap your head around how much had truly changed since the Sully family arrived, and you were sure it was only going to continue to change.

With a deep breath, trying to collect your nerves as the waves tumbled clumsily across the sand, you tried desperately to ignore the nagging thoughts that told you this whole thing was stupid, that he was going to think you were weird and wanted nothing to do with you afterwards, even after all he things beautiful things he’d said that night.

The only thing allowing your mind to drift away from those pessimistic thoughts was the sight of him alone - the way the sun rays shined down upon him, basking him in an ethereal glow; his back carved out like some sort of god as he clapped his hands; his arms flexing with such an exuberant smile upon his lips-

You’d been staring a little too long, and he must’ve felt something upon his back, because the next thing you knew, he was looking straight back at you. Somehow, his smile got even wider, gesturing you over with his head and calling out your name in pure happiness.

Collecting yourself, you gave in to the invisible pull that was attaching itself to the two of you, making your way over. When you got to his side, watching as he cheered for Tuk before turning his attention to you, the flutters in your stomach increased massively, smiling down at you as he continued to tower over you. “You okay?” he questioned, eyes flickering between each of your own as he took in your nervous expression, and the way you wrung your hands out together.

Your brows furrowed, sealing deeply to somehow attempt to compose yourself, your eyes flickered continuously this way and that, trying to find a way out - a reprieve - but nothing happened, one didn’t expose itself to you. You were stuck in this situation - and part of you was glad that you were, because this was something you needed to do, that you wanted to do.

But, before you can even get some sort of word out, you feel the softest, most gentlest finger tap against your clasped hands in front of you. Looking down at the sensation, you spot Neteyam’s outstretched before you, so close to encircling your own.

When your eyes shift back up to his face, you find him already looking deep within your eyes, smiling sweetly at you. “May I?”

You nod, already knowing what he’s asking you - but, even if you didn’t, you were sure you’d still have said yes - and feel as he unclasps your hands to take them smoothly within his own. His hands feel slightly rough and calloused again, like last time, but still, they somehow emit such warmth and beauty.

You want him to hold you forever.

“Take your time,” he assures you, which turns out to be the conformation you needed that allows you to continue with a little more confidence in your systems, allowing you to say what you came here for.

“I know we already spoke about… it,” you start, nodding to yourself slowly, “but, I want to tell you that I am comfortable with… this… trying it out…?” You don’t bother looking at him once, fear beginning to overtake you gradually.

Somehow, you words managed to end in a question, despite it not being one to begin with. You were just unsure yourself, waiting for the moment the beautiful man before you told you what you were saying to him was stupid, because you’d already spoken about this and there was no need to seek him out just to say the same thing again. You couldn’t help it - this was something that was eating away at you, and you needed Neteyam to know that despite your shyness and introverted tendencies, you wanted this as much as he did. It was so important to you for him to truly know this.

But, none of those things you expected to happen did. Because when you looked back up to him, eyes locking into his pooling ones that spoke more than words ever could, he held the same expression as when you’d first seen him that day - sweet, comforting, welcoming.

“I just…” you continued after another deep breath, finding comfort in the way he looked down upon you and mustering up whatever little confidence you held within yourself, “I felt like last time, I hadn’t really said much back to you… it was just nods and nervous smiles and…” you finish by evenly cutting yourself off, cringing at the words that were tumbling out of your mouth before you had a proper chance to fully know what you were saying, and chuckled to yourself, shaking your head as it hung low. The only warmth you felt in that moment was the beautiful feeling of basking in the sensation of Neteyam’s fingers rubbing gently against your hands.

You hear him chuckling above you, too, head shooting up and catching his beautiful smile being targeted solely upon you. It has you feeling weak at the knees, wanting nothing more than to see such a sight for the rest of your life, especially when you were somehow the cause of such an ethereal view.

Neteyam’s quick to reassure you. “That’s okay. I can somehow already tell what you’re feeling without you needing to say anything.” He shrugs at his admittance, the thought of such an idea coating your cheeks a darker shade. Smiling bashfully, he continues. “Maybe it’s because I spend too much of my time admiring you…”

Without even realising such a thing was possible, you blush more harshly once the words tumble from his lips. Instinctively, your head shoots to the ground in an attempt to hide yourself away from him, but it’s obvious he’d already noticed when he laughs softly down at you. Nothing malicious in that sound - just pure love.

“I’m glad you came to tell me again, though,” he begins, his words somehow even softer than they were before, except this time, there isn’t as much teasing involved. “It reassures me that I’m not the only one feeling this way.”

Making sure to keep your gaze focused upon the ground, you nod to him, fangs biting your bottom lip as a smile crawls its way onto your features. You can feel your eyes beginning to crinkle, too, too happy and elevated at the situation you had managed to find yourself in to want to ignore your emotions.

For just a few seconds, there’s nothing around the two of you but soft silence, the crashing of the waves as they cascaded against one another, and faint chattering of those in your clan in the near distance. Maybe you’re the only one out of the two of you that thinks it’s just a tiny bit uncomfortable (because, it’s you, and when is anything not uncomfortable for you?), but you know the both of you are also feeling the comfort provided within it. You know yours is from Neteyam’s presence alone, and you find yourself hoping that he’s feeling the same for you.

After that, you finally decide to hold your head up high again, standing with your back a little straighter as you wish to not come across so sheepish to someone you’ve just bared your heart to. Your lips quirk up subconsciously, one that’s unfortunately a little shaky and small, but it’s full of meaning, all the same.

Ewya, does Neteyam Sully love that smile.

“I’ll, um,” you start, “get going then…” Before you can unclasp your hands from his own, moving further away from him and hiding away to calm your racing heart, he pats them gently like he had beforehand. It’s something you’ve learnt is his subtle way of showing you his feelings for you - he knows you don’t exactly find it comfortable in certain situations where you're put on the spot and feeling vulnerable in front of too many people, and he’d hate himself if he ever made you feel such a way - and, this was exactly his best way to make you feel… like home… appreciated.

“I’ll see you tonight, tahni (star).” His words are so unbelievably soft and gentle, you were sure you heard them wrong. But, when you looked back over at him, noticing the warm and loving expression he held towards you, you knew you couldn’t have been wrong.

The blush comes back to your cheeks full force - although you’re sure it never really left to begin with - and you struggle to fight the huge smile plastered against your lips. Ewya, this boy was doing wonders to your once-shielded heart.

Carefully walking backwards, secretly not wanting to depart from him, your giddy smile helps his focus linger on you, too, and the butterfly sensation you feel ringing within your system every time he’s near doesn’t dissipate - no, it only intensifies.

Whilst the last few days had passed since that particular conversation that had your whole routinely life changing for the better, to say that your heart had never sped so fast in its entirety would be the biggest understatement of the century.

You found yourself spending more time than ever with him, Neteyam always being gentle and just a smidge hesitant with you. He was constantly nervous that he would subconsciously force you to overstep the boundaries you’d set up for yourself, and that was the last thing he wanted to do. You meant the world to him, and he’d protect you at all costs, even from himself.

And, like the true gentleman was, and just like Tsireya had promised you from the very beginning she started to notice something different with you, Neteyam took his time with you, giving you all the space you might’ve needed whenever necessary and allowing you to fall gracefully into step beside him.

He’d decided early on that he’d wait however long you needed for you. He didn’t care if it was weeks, months or years, so long as you were comfortable and his plans were still in place, he’d wait forever.

But, you also found out early on that even the barest things he did towards you still managed to cause your heart to race at a speed that should be worrying, and your cheeks to darken to a shade so unlike your natural colour.

It had originally just started off with looks - whenever the two of you were in a bigger group of friends (something you were slowly getting used to, also, much to your glee and pride), Neteyam’s eyes were seeking you out until they found your own. He’d give you a subtle nod and a reassuring smile, like he was checking in on you and making sure you were okay. It always managed to speak more than words simply ever could.

He’d take cautious steps to move closer to your figure until he standing right beside you, your arms barely brushing against one another with only the faintest of touches, and yet, it still caused your skin to warm up all the same. Neteyam would love the way you reacted to just being near him each and every time, a small chuckle flowing from his lips, looking down at your innocent expression and basking in it entirely, loving the way he could so easily make you blush.

It constantly gave him an incentive to do it more.

After a few doses of those types of interactions, there came the firmer touches - at first, it started off with his usual routine of tapping gently against your hands or your arms to garner your full attention without truly crossing any of your boundaries, before he would hold out his own in front of you.

You adored when he did this, and he knew it, too. Something about it made you feel so much more at ease, considering words were more difficult for you, and if he asked anything with his voice rather than his actions, you truly believed you’d struggle a little more at accepting such a new part of you.

So, whenever he gestured for the two of you to hold hands, to join together as one in a way that was so intimate for you, it made it all the more easier to step forward like this. Comfortably slipping your own into his hold, enveloping together and embracing the warmth that radiated within him - it was awe-inducing for you.

Neteyam would keep his hold loose against your hand, ready to let go just in case you got scared and wanted to retrieve back inside your shell… but, you never did. No, you stuck your ground, wanting to be bold and embrace something that was so beautiful and somehow only for you, enjoying these feelings for once rather than running from them, terrified.

Then, the night before now, the two of you took your relationship one step further, hand in hand as you experienced this beauty together.

Previously, Neteyam had invited you to hang out with him to watch the sun set, when no one else was around, everyone back in their marui’s to sleep off the day’s work. Rather, it was just the two of you, sitting side by side right at the edge of the sand, tips of the waves cascading cooly against your feet, no voices shared between the two of you. It was only the ethereal sounds of nature around you, and your breathing, shared and somehow calmer than you’d anticipated, especially when sitting next to someone new.

But, he wasn’t someone new anymore, was he? No, he was Neteyam Sully - your Neteyam Sully.

For a second, you hadn’t realised just how quiet it had become, though - Neteyam’s breathing had slowed down so completely, you couldn’t even hear it anymore. Beforehand, you were listening out for it, finding solace in the sound that reassures his presence was so close to you - you’d clearly gotten distracted when it’d slipped from your mind.

Turning your head over in his direction, you looked at him with furrowed brows, already being able to tell that something was off with him. But, when you came to face to face with him already gazing solely at you, paired with one of the softest expressions you’d ever witnessed, your heart leaped within its place and up to your throat, careful not to show how much it really affected you.

Still, your features slacken just slightly, partly from nerves and partly from the way he gazes at you. “What is it?”

A smile makes its way automatically upon his face when your soft voice graces his ears, shaking his head and clearly lost within his own thoughts. “Nothing…” he speaks, voice hazy and eyes glazed over, somewhere else completely. “It’s just - you’re so beautiful…”

Heart picking up speed once more - as per usual - you swallow your nerves that had suddenly built up down and smile back him, all giddy and sheepish. You hang your head low subconsciously, basking in his compliment.

Giving you away, your tail started to tap against the sand in excitement, something you knew he picked up on. In your embarrassment, you tried your absolute best to will it to stop and not so obviously give your feelings away, but if anything, in your haste, it only seemed to increase in speed.

Stupid tail.

“Can I-” neteyam cut himself off suddenly, and when you automatically looked back over to him, you noticed nerves were clear in his expression now. Before, you could’ve strongly said that Neteyam didn’t get nervous - simply because he was Neteyam - but he was good at hiding certain emotions like this. You didn’t like that look, either, because if he was nervous, you surely needed to be absolutely terrified.

His eyes gazed over you once again, and they somehow managed to notice every little thing about you - your doe-eyed expression, innocence radiating off of you in blissful waves, expectant of whatever he was going to say next. Even with so much life emanating around him from a new setting by the ocean, the sun setting and the waves crashing - and, still, you were the most beautiful sight there.

Neteyam found his confidence in your beauty, soaking in it and imprinting it to memory. “Would you be okay if I… if I kissed you?”

The question took you aback completely, feeling stumped for words, but that wasn’t exactly anything new. You knew then that the nerves he’d been feeling hadn’t been from wanting to kiss you, but from asking you such a thing - you knew he cared about your boundaries, and asking you had been a big deal to the both of you. If you’d said no, that could’ve changed things between you - shrinking back into your shell and not coming back out for a very long time. He didn’t want to do that to you.

But, he didn’t have anything to worry about. Sure, your breath stuttered for a second, feeling your palms beginning to sweat… but, a much stronger part of you wanted nothing more - you wanted to kiss him, too.

This was so completely new and different to you, you weren’t entirely sure what to do next. How had you gone from someone who had no desire to meet anyone new and interact more than you believed to be necessary… to falling for someone completely different from you and wanting to kiss him?

So much had changed since that day… and, you found yourself loving it.

With a deep breath and a shaky smile, trying to will what you were truly feeling onto your features for once in your life, not wanting to leave him hanging in negative thoughts for much too long, you nodded at him, so slowly he was almost unaware of it. And, he would’ve been, had he not been watching you so intently for any small sign.

Oh, did Neteyam love to admire you.

And, when you agreed to him, your feelings shown to be the same as he felt, it seemed like the whole world glowed brighter around him. Like, Ewya herself was painting you in an ethereal glow and showing Neteyam that you were made completely for him.

He slowly scooted himself closer to you, legs now touching as he faced you direct. The heat of him was scorching you in the best possible way, so close to you now that his breathing was mingling with your own as it stuttered nervously, but neither of you backed away.

You both wanted this as much as the other, and instead, you stayed exactly where you were, allowing Neteyam to take control. You’d never felt safer in someone else’s hands.

Eyes boring into your own, there was another question lingering behind them, waiting for your answer. You could tell what he was asking you - are you definitely sure? - and you knew you’d never been more sure of anything in your life, giving him another a nod, needing him to know everything going on in your mind. And, that was all the confirmation he needed.

Closer and closer, Neteyam brought his face nearer to your own, lips barely an inch apart as you felt them tingle against your own. You closed your eyes as anticipation filtered through you, and the next thing you knew, he was pressing his lips upon yours. It was one of the softest sensations you had ever experienced in any way, shape or form, and you loved it more than anything else.

It wasn’t a quick kiss - it was one he prolonged, wishing to stay in that position until the moment he was taken from this world, the feel of your lips against his so ethereal-feeling. This was your first kiss for each of you, and the both of you were so undeniably glad that nothing else had come in the way of denying you this feeling for the first time.

Eventually, you did have to part, but you automatically kept your eyes closed for another couple of seconds, forgetting about anything else that was solely Neteyam. He was all that was playing on in your mind, the way he felt against you and how you wished to do it more and more and more.

There was a gentle touch against your cheek that brought you out of your reverie, opening your eyes to find Neteyam caressing you lovingly. His eyes were imploring into your own, gazing upon you like he’d never loved anything more… and, he hadn’t.

“I know I said it before…” he began, mind still reeling from the feeling of you against him, “but, you really are so incredibly beautiful, yawne (beloved)…”

Somehow, that kiss had seemingly brought you a little more confidence than you’d ever felt, because the giddy smile upon your lips was also accompanied by a small laugh, one that was albeit slightly louder than your usual soft one.

Both the sight and the sound of you altogether filled Neteyam’s heart whole until it was full to burst, moments away from wearing it on his sleeve and letting you do whatever you wanted to it - because it was yours.

When your laugh trailed off, you looked back over to him, one side of your mouth curled up into a sheepish smile. “I think you are very beautiful, too, ma’teyam.”

Ewya, the way you said his name… It’d be the death of him, he was sure of it.

All of that had occurred a few days ago now, and you had never felt more complete, more safe than when you were with him. So much so, you had even briefly discussed the idea that Neteyam wished to court you, and asked your parents for their permission.

When he’d told first told you such a thing was bouncing around in every corner of his mind, everything else within you had shut down. You were sure you had to have been dreaming, because, whilst you had slowly come to terms with the idea of Neteyam liking someone like yourself, this was a whole other level. This was spending the rest of your lives together, starting a family together, becoming one until there was nothing else but each other. How could he want something so special with you?

But, Neteyam insisted that he was in it for the long run, which was obvious even from where you were standing. When it came to how much he wanted you all for himself and no one else, he knew he had to do this right, in a way you found loving, sentimental and comfortable. And, that meant starting with your parents.

Such an idea started your heart on fire, terrified of coming clean to what had been occupying your mind for a short while now, along with their reactions to you having changed perspectives seemingly so quickly. But, this was you being one step closer to feeling truly happy, to getting what you’d secretly always been looking for - Neteyam. Surely, they’d come to terms with it the way you had.

So, albeit a little begrudgingly, you agreed, Neteyam reassuring you that everything was going to be okay. He told you to leave most of the talking to him, seeing as he’s better with words than you are, and that he’ll handle anything that comes your guys’ way. It seemed as though Neteyam had been secretly preparing for the worst of it all, too.

Even though you reminded yourself of all the assurances Neteyam spoke to you the night before and that very morning, repeating them in your head on a loop and telling yourself to not think so pessimistic when it comes to such a beautiful situation… everything felt as though it’d dissipated completely. The two of you had gathered both of your parents in a marui, and you could only feel as though this was the beginning of the end of the world, bile rising up to the top of your throat and threatening to escape. The only way that worked to calm your heart was by consistently looking back at Neteyam’s somewhat composed figure, standing right beside you and just a step in front, almost like he was shielding you of anything bad coming your way.

How he knew such a thing was on its way, you didn’t know. Neteyam clearly had a better read on people than you did.

“You want to what?” Your father asked, piercing through the now-tense atmosphere after silence lingered between the group of you.

It truly felt like the two of you against the world as each pair of eyes implored into you, digging into your systems until they knew every little secret you held dear to your heart. You subconsciously started to fidget from one foot to the other, fingers thrashing and heart beating relentlessly. This, by far, felt like the worst situation you’d ever been in.

Maybe you should’ve expected something a little like this, but, for once, you wanted your pessimistic thoughts to turn even just slightly optimistic. You knew your parents had no idea about that had been occupying your mind all this time, as you’d been too scared to actually admit anything to them, but you hoped they’d somehow managed to garner some sort of idea. Clearly, they hadn’t.

You wondered if Neteyam’s parents were able to guess this, or whether they’d been told previously. Before you could look over at the two of them, Neteyam’s strong voice spoke up once more. “I wish to court your daughter, sir… to become my mate…” he repeated what’d he said originally, this time a little firmer to ensure each of them understood the seriousness of the request. Still, the words he spoke were a little uncoordinated, but he made sure to stand his ground.

Once the words left his mouth for a second time now, you finally looked over at his own parents, and felt yourself feel all the more reassured at their demeanour. Both of them were relaxed as they watched the two of you ask for something so special, eyes full of love, watching their son fight for everything he wanted.

Subtle smiles graced their features, eyes locked on their eldest son as he showed who he truly was, that he was a man and he was ready for the next chapter in his life. They allowed him to take control of the situation like he clearly wanted to, like he was supposed to do, but, they were ready for the moment when he might’ve needed their help.

As far as you were aware, just from the way they looked down at their son, eyes flickering over to you with a similar look every now and again, they were okay with such a match - happy.

It brought you a little bit more ease… and, then your father spoke up again.

“But, you are…” he started, somewhat hesitantly, like he didn’t want to say what he was about to because it wasn’t in his nature. Yet, when it came to his only daughter, your father would do anything for what was best for you. He sighed in defeat, shaking his head before his eyes moved over to your figure, speaking solely to you, now. “Y/n, he is not Metkayina. When I said I wanted you to meet new people - a mate - I was hoping you would choose one of us.”

Brows furrowed, heart dropping in your stomach at his words, you couldn’t quite believe what you were hearing from him. This wasn’t like your father at all. Yes, all he’d ever wanted was for you to get out there a little more, talk to more people in the clan and make more friends than mainly just Tsireya, and eventually even a mate. And, for the longest time, you’d always pictured that person being Metkayina, and he had, too, clearly… but, everything changed the moment outsiders turned up on your shores seeking help.

What you didn’t understand was that, despite whatever hypocrisy he was thinking at that moment, your father had been the one to urge you into talking to the newcomers, to the Sully’s. He’d reassured you that this was an opportunity you simply couldn’t pass up, to help them learn your ways and become one of you. Now, he was suddenly going back on every he’d said? Now, they could never be considered one of us all because one had taken a liking to his daughter?

It didn’t make sense to you, and you supposed it never would, not until you had your own children. Even then, maybe it still wouldn’t, because you’d be a mother, not a father.

And, your thoughts were clear when your mother spoke up in your defence. “Munxta (mate),” she soothes, voice calming as she places a hand against your father’s chest, “this is her decision - if she wishes to-”

“She doesn’t know what she wishes,” your father cut her off, voice just a little harsher than he’d probably intended, “if he was Metkayina-”

“He’s learning,” Jake interrupted, Neytiri biting back a hiss at the insult of her son, “he will become one of the people-”

“When? When will he become one of the people? I cannot allow my daughter to-”

You’d had enough of this. This was supposed to be a moment remembered as one of purity and happiness shared between two families becoming one through their children. And, yet, here you all were, arguing with one another because their children had managed to fall in love and whilst some were happy with it, others weren’t, simply because they were different than what they’d been expecting.

You’d had enough.

“Father, I’m of age,” you speak up for the first time in that moment. Your voice was firmer and louder than your parents had ever heard it, needing to get your point across - this seemed like the only way. It wasn’t like you wanted to snap at them, but, if they couldn’t see what you felt for Neteyam and how much he meant to you, they left you with no other choice. “I want this…” your eyes subconsciously trail over to Neteyam, noticing how his once dejected expression from your father’s words brightened at your own. “I want him…”

Silence was palpable around the six of you, each and every one of them watching the way your features softened so gracefully whenever your eyes landed on Neteyam, and how he felt much more at ease with you around when defending what he loved the most. None of them could deny that this match was something Ewya had crafted herself, not even your father…

He sighed loudly, everyone else listening in and waiting for what he was going to say next. After all, he was the only one who didn’t immediately seem to approve. But, he was your father, and no one would ever be good enough for his little girl. “Do you truly want this?” He questioned, holding up his hand when you went to respond and reaffirming his words. “I don’t want you saying this just because I told you to make friends with them, and you feel as though you need to-”

“I do, sempu (father),” you implore, smiling at him with all the love you’ve ever held for him, for everything he’s ever done for you, helping you out and shaping you into the woman you are today. “I’ve… I’ve never been more sure in my life.”

Clearly, he could see everything you weren’t saying out loud in your very gaze, the way this meant the world to you, and would mean so much more with his approval.

He had to remind himself that you’d always be his little girl, that no matter how old you got, how big your family became, how much you fell in love with Neteyam, he was always the first man in your life, and he’d always be the one you went back to should you need someone to rest against.

Even if that meant your mate wouldn’t be Metkayina.

“Fine,” he sighed, nodding with purse lips, before settling on Neteyam. “You have my permission.”

A collective breath of relief fell from everyone’s shoulders at his decision, knowing that his last word was clearly the most authoritative one here. Your smile grew brighter, elevated by what had just transpired around you, that you were now officially being courted by someone you could’ve only imagined meeting in your dreams. And, when your father watched you looked blissfully over to Neteyam, hearts in both of your eyes, he was seeing someone who he’d been dying to meet for so long now; a woman who’d grown up so beautifully in such a short space of time - and, he knew he had Neteyam to thank for that.

From your other side, steps were heard next to you, turning away from Neteyam and meeting his mother directly in front of you. She briefly placed her hand against your shoulder, before placing her other one against your cheek. Neytiri gazed lovingly at you like your mother always did, the sight making your heart full. Bringing the hand that was once on your shoulder away, she brought it up to her head and signed an I see you greeting. “I see you, ma’eveng (my daughter),” she spoke, every action and word full of motherly love. It made you feel so utterly accepted.

Her words (more so, what she’d called you) caused a blush to rise against your cheeks, the firm and seriousness of the situation finally beginning to settle into you. But, as you looked around at the people near you, your family - Jake, standing a little behind Neytiri as he nodded proudly at his son; your father, a begrudging tilt of his lips sent your way; your mother, beaming as bright as the sun as she felt the happiest she’d ever been to see her daughter become a woman with a future mate; and, Neteyam, looking down at you like you were a star in the night sky, like you were the most beautiful, most brightest thing he’d ever lay his eyes upon, never wanting to look at anything else ever again, because nothing else could compare to you - you knew you’d made the right decision to listen to Tsireya all that time ago, forcing you into the Sully’s company.

You supposed you’d have to go and thank her for everything at some point.

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