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#THEY PLAYED WORDS WITH FRIENDS TO KEEP HER PRESENT IN THE SEASON
kerryweaverlesbian · 17 days
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They really fumbled the season 14 emotional core specifically by not having Mary be present and recognisably Mary for MOST of the season. It feels like we see more of her after her death than before it, and when we do see her before it she's a completely different character who's their uncomplicatedly loving mom.
Take season 10 Charlie, who was present and dynamic and alive and forming new relationships with other major characters and was generally a big part of the plot for season 10. Take season 12 Mary even! So cool they fridged her thrice. The high level of emotion from Dean and Sam after her (apparent) s12 finale death was meaningful to the audience because Mary IS season 12. Take season 7 Bobby! He is active and present and having an emotional arc and has been consistently a part of the fabric of the show.
And compare these to season 14 where she is living in a cabin with an unimportant side character, she's being sweet and motherly full stop, she's in The Pearl where her husband comes back from the dead and she has NO complicated scenes or emotions to process with Dean or Sam and gets maybe 3 lines in the whole 'pisode. The show doesn't give a fuck about her. And this is after season 13 where she's mostly in another world doing fuck all.
For a death to have weight in fiction you need to remind the audience consistently that THIS CHARACTER IS IMPORTANT by having them form new relationships, do things for the plot and generally be present onscreen. As it stands, even though intellectually I know that if MY mom got killed and her murderer came to see me going 🥺 it was her fault really 🥺 will you comfort me 🥺 and I knew they were going to kill more people, I would probably be easily persuaded to put them in eternal prison or shoot them in the head - the emotional truth of it on the show just doesn't carry through.
It feels like an overreaction for Dean to be so angry about this for so long because the show didn't care about Mary enough to have her around. What is he losing by not having her around? In season 14, they don't show us. They did in s12 - the potential to be seen, and the complex joy of getting to know his actual mother rather than the idea of her. And by not showing us, it makes it not exist, because its a tv show and anything that isn't being depicted implicitly isn't important to the story. If you removed all of Mary's scenes from s14 before her death, what would change? Pretty much nothing.
Now to be clear, I don't think they should have fridged Mary at all. But they could have at least done it properly. The sexism that made the writers less bothered about characterising Mary thoughtfully in s14 is a blight on the show.
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asumi2020202 · 3 months
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Blessing disguised as a Curse
Pairing: Jacaerys Velaryon x Targaryen!reader.
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A/N: After the 1st episode of season two I'm currently obsessing over Jacaerys. So, many Jacaerys stories will be uploaded as well as Aemond cuz I Love him too. Thank you for reading this fiction.
Summary: You were Alicent's daughter. Younger than the three, Aegon, Aemond and Helaena but older than Daeron. After returning from Dragonstone, Rhaenyra proposes a marriage pact between her eldest and you. A man your mother had warned you about.
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People and gatherings made you nervous. Anxiety coursed through your veins everytime someone started a conversation with you. Solitude was what you preferred. Your comfort was your sister and by some means her bugs as well.
Your mother warned you of the people that were coming back to Kings Landing. She told you to keep distance from them. Though you paid almost no mind to her words which were half controlled by your grandsire, you couldn't help but ponder about those people she talked about.
You knew them from the start before they fled to Dragonstone after taking your precious brother's eye. You had felt hatred towards them but 'what if they change?' You had thought countless of times.
You loved your siblings more than anything. Having a father only by name in the court and a stranger in the halls as he supported your half-sister with everything she had done even if it was killing someone.
You love them. You tried to be there for them through everything. You love Aegon even if was arrogant and misbehaving. You love Aemond even if he wanted revenge. You love Helaena even if she is called weird by others and is obsessed with bugs. You love Daeron even if you have almost no memory of him left.
_________________________________________
You were playing with little Jaehaerys and Jaehaera while Helaena was telling you more facts about bugs. She loved that her baby sister also had interest in her bugs and helps her catch them.
"Did you know that butterflies join their bodies together to reproduce?" Helaena asks you meeting your gaze.
"Really? I used to think they flap their wings together." You reply as you played with Jaehaerys while little Jaehaera sat on your lap.
"Hmm. The male butterfly often dies soon after they mate." Helaena spoke as her gaze shifted back on her embroidery.
"So then the female butterfl-" you were going to reply when the doors opened to reveal your mother.
Both you and Helaena looked up at her while the children were escorted away by the maids. " They have landed. Remember what I have told you my sweelings. Be on your best behaviours." Alicent spoke.
"Yes mother we understand " you replied speaking for both you and your sister. Alicent left the room after nodding at you.
_________________________________________
After meeting with her daughters, Alicent left their room. A maid informed her that Princess Rhaenyra had wanted to meet with her.
Alicent let the maid guide her to the room where Rhaenyra was present. When they reached the place, the maid opened the door to let the Queen inside.
Alicent was met with Rhaenyra. She could tell just by the looks that Rhaenyra was pregnant.
"It has been too long since we were granted the chance to converse" Alicent spoke, breaking the silence.
"Indeed it has been. I know you were busy with the royal matters at hand, so I asked for you at a time when you would be free." Rhaenyra replied looking into Alicent's eyes.
"Is there any important matter that you wish to discuss with me?" Alicent asked.
"Yes, there is one actually. The rift between us has lived far too long. I propose a marriage pact. My son Jacaerys will inherit the Iron Throne after me. Let my son and your youngest daughter be betrothed together so they shall rule together.
We are one family. And long before that we were close friends." Rhaenyra said and looked at Alicent for an answer.
"I sh-" Alicent was going to speak but Rhaenyra interjected.
"This marriage will help us reconcile with each other." She said.
"I shall think of it and give you your answer after the feast tonight." Alicent replied. "Thank you your grace." Rhaenyra smiled at her.
_________________________________________
Alicent had requested an audience with her father after meeting Rhaenyra to discuss about the marriage.
"Father I can't just sacrifice my child." Alicent pleaded. "I know Alicent but this marriage can help us take the throne and make Aegon the king." Otto reasoned.
"Tell Rhaenyra that you agree to this proposal. If y/n is married to her son then it will be easier to control them. When the throne is returned to the rightful heir, it will be easier to prevent war." Otto continued.
Alicent feeling defeated, agreed to her father's request.
_________________________________________
You were in your sister's chambers, waiting for her to get finished dressing up so you both could attend the feast together.
Your dress was simple yet the details on it were impressive. It was was a navy blue dress with golden details. It made you look ethereal.
When Helaena was done, the both of you left the chambers together. Holding tightly onto the hands of your sister as the maids escorted you to the feast hall.
All were seated at the table only getting up when Viserys arrived before sitting down again.
You were seated on the right side of Helaena as Aegon sat on her left. Aemond sat at the end of the table. Rhaena and Baela sat on your right. Starting small conversations which you could connect to and laugh with them.
You were trying hard to not feel nervous. You couldn't really face upfront only talking to Rhaena, Baela and Helaena.
Jacaerys had never thought you to be so beautiful over the years. When he first saw you after the years, he hadn't believed it was you. Only five and ten yet you were the most beautiful lady in his eyes. He had seen you accidentally when he was watching Aemond train, you stood in your balcony gazing at the sky. It was he who actually reasoned with his mother to marry you to him.
He couldn't take his eyes off of you during the feast. The way the dress showed your curves. The way you white hair was style. The necklace on your neck. He was in love.
You on the other hand couldn't even meet his gaze after what your mother told you.
'His brother took your brother's eye, who knows if one day he comes and decides to bring harm to us as well.' she had said.
Jace got up, walking upto you. Lending his hand forward, asking for a dance. You looked at your mother who just nodded. After which you had accepted his hand.
He led you to the side. The music had started. As you both started to dance. He didn't seem so bad. He seemed gentle, offering you bright smiles to which you just gave some small ones.
He looked different. Different than how your mother described him. Ruthless, arrogant, selfish and such.
After the feast, when the children went to their designated chambers, Alicent told Rhaenyra that she had accepted the marriage proposal. That she would try to forget the past and reconcile with her.
The two women decided that they shall break the news to the children and the king next morning, bidding each other a good night.
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You woke early as usual. Your maids had prepared you for the day. A knock on the door took your attention.
It was Jace.
The one who you felt some type of attachment to after the previous feast. He stood infront of your door as he said "Our mothers have requested an audience with us at the King's chambers. I was asked to inform you and take you to them."
"Very well then my prince, let us leave at once." You replied, getting up from your seat and walking down the corridor with him.
'My prince?' oh how sweet it sounded coming from your mouth. But he didn't want 'my prince', he wanted 'husband'.
He knew why they both were called, his mother told him yesterday night before he fell asleep. That the two would be married soon.
Upon arrival at the King's chambers, you greeted your mother, Rhaenyra and the king.
"Ah you've arrived. Do sit. Your mother and I have agreed on something and we wish for your answer as well." Rhaenyra said giving a smile while holding hands with Alicent like she used to when they were children.
You nodded your head as a sign for her to continue speaking.
"We have decided that you and my son Jace shall be betrothed together for the harmony of our family. Your mother has agreed and so has Jace but I wish for your answer." Rhaenyra finished her saying.
"It is a most judicious proposition. Wouldn't you agree daughter?" King Viserys who was resting in his armchair spoke up.
You looked at your mother, who stared at you and offered a smile and then to Jacaerys who looked around your face to find any kind of rejection.
You looked up at Rhaenyra, anxiety flaring through and spoke "if it can help the family be whole again and please my mother then I shall agree."
Rhaenyra's face brightened as did Jace's. Alicent only nodded.
"Well then. I believe we can start with the preparations right away." Rhaenyra said getting up to hold your hands as you looked up to her.
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"You've warned me my entire life about them mother, and now you simply marry me off to him. I don't get you." You spoke to your mother calmly.
"Sweetling, I know it is difficult for you but it is for the greater good. It is to uphold the realm and make peace." Alicent reasoned while placing her hand on your face.
No other word was spoken as you went back to your chambers.
You liked Jacaerys after the events of last night but you couldn't help but worry about what your mother told you. You couldn't help but worry about your siblings, you would have to leave your home and go to Dragonstone with them.
_________________________________________
Three days since that day, your wedding was held. You and Jace cut your lips and the your palms. Holding your hands together, you both drank from the same cup with your other hands. The septa reciting the vows the both of you had to take.
Your families bear witness of the event. Of the love that was to blossom.
After the feast that was held, you left for your now shared chambers in the red keep.
Jacaerys came in a moment after you. You felt nervous. It was your first night together. As if a miracle, he sense your nervousness.
"Is something bothering you dear wife? You even left the feast early." He asked softly not to startle you.
Wife. Oh how you knew you will love him just from how that word slipped from his mouth.
"It is nothing lord husband. It's just that I don't fare well in gatherings. I find solace in solitude." You reply back.
"Well I hope that from now on I can be your solace." Jacaerys replied with his bright smile as he came closer to you. Your chest almost touching his lower chest.
He was tall. You had tilt your head up to meet him. You didn't move aside as he cupped your cheeks and looked at your for permission.
As you nodded, he took the sign and kissed you. You both had consummated that night for the first time.
________________________________________
The day came when you had to leave with them to Dragonstone. You would eventually come back when Rhaenyra would be crowned.
You stood before your siblings and parents, kissing the cheeks of your siblings. "Will you come back soon?"
"Of course my little cuddle bears." You said as you crouched down to meet the level of your nephew and niece.
You climbed on top of your dragon, Moonfyre as they all bid you farewell. You heart saddened as you thought that Helaena would be alone now with Aegon ignoring her. Aemond might not even apply his ointments properly. And your mother.. would be lonely.
Moonfyre sensed your worry and sadness, letting out a low groan. She was as beautiful as the night. A white dragon whose color slowly went from white to grey. Eyes as bright as the moon, earning her name when she hatched.
_________________________________________
Viserys was dead. It had been moons since you left. A raven had informed Rhaenyra that her half brother Aegon had usurped the throne.
The weight of the matter forced her to go in labor. Her child was a stillborn. It pained her. You knew it tore her from the inside but she had to focus one the matters at hand.
Ser Eryyk had came with the crown of King Jaehaerys I. Daemon crowned her as the queen as all bowed. Otto came to make peace with them which resulted in rejection straight up in his face.
She sent her sons to earn the favor of other houses.
_________________________________________
"Y/n" you heard her call you from the back as stood near the stairs of Dragonstone, gazing at the sea.
"Come walk with me" she told you. As you both went down the stairs to the beach, you both had a gentle conversation.
"Do you wish to switch sides? I would not blame you if you do for they are your family." Rhaenyra spoke.
"All my life, I've seen them being neglected. By both father and mother. I was their and still am their comfort source.
Aegon always told me that he will not sit the iron throne. He told me that being a king will only hold him down in one place, and that he wishes to fly free like a dragon." You pause, looking at her eyes while gently holding her hand before continuing.
"And now they tell me that he has Usurped the throne. That he is now the king and that he now rules. That doesn't seem like the Aegon i know." You told her as she looked at you and nodded her head.
_________________________________________
You stood in the middle of Rhaena and Baela as see someone tell Rhaenyra a few words as she broke down.
She turned around, her eyes filled with rage and sorrow.
Lucerys was dead. Vhagar attacked him.
You felt helpless. Did your brother intentionally kill the Heir to Driftmark? You knew he had a deep hatred for Lucerys for taking his eye. But he wouldn't go as far as to kill him.
A raven had been sent to Jacaerys, informing him of the news. You couldn't face the queen. She knew you were innocent but that cannot pardon the sin of your brother.
You had began to open up but now your alone again. The little child seeking solitude. Hiding from people.
_________________________________________
A raven had arrived, delivering a letter to you. It was from the Red Keep. It was Aegon.
Dear Sister,
I know what has been done cannot be changed, but Aemond didn't actually wanted to kill Luke. It was grandsire. He got in his head like mother. He lost control over Vhagar.
I don't wish to rule. They told me that inorder for Rhaenyra to rule, she would have to kill us. That she would kill us all to secure the throne for her and her son. Grandsire said the same thing to Mother the other day, I had overheard it.
This war shouldn't happen. It will tear all of us apart. We are not the enemy of the blacks nor are they ours. Our enemy is Otto Hightower. He wants to rule the kingdom indirectly by being the hand.
Tell our half sister that we must work together. That I am willing to lay down my throne. She will be the Protector of the Realm. I know this is a crucial time for you but stay safe.
-Yours truly
Aegon.
You didn't know what to say. You were Alicent's daughter, who would believe you. They might consider you a traitor as well. You clutched the letter to your chest.
You walls finally broke. You broke down on the bed. It was him from the beginning. Otto Hightower. Anger and pain surrounded you. You cried as you brought your knees to your chest and hid your face there.
The door slowly opened which you hadn't noticed. It was Jacaerys. He had a melancholy look in his eyes as well as of guilt and hatred.
He hated seeing you cry. His Lady Wife. He gently put his head on your back. You looked up to meet his gaze with a tearful look.
The way he looked broke your heart. He looked used and betrayed. You got up and met his gaze again never letting go of the letter.
"Lord husband-" you started but he shakes his head as a no.
"Don't. Don't speak." He tried to say it normally but it came out cold as he walked towards the desk in your room to perhaps look for something.
"Please listen to me. He is innocent. I got a ra-" You started again but got cut off.
""Innocent?! He killed my brother! How can you possibly call him innocent?! My brother went as a messager. He vowed not to fight and Your Brother!..... Took advantage of that!" He screamed at you. For the first time. You had never seen him so angry even when your brothers teased him. He looked at you with hatred.
Tears flooded your vision again. He had never raised his voice at you. You knew it was due to the loss of his brother but that didn't hurt any less.
"I understand your pain. But you must listen to me! At least once hus-" you reasoned which angered him further.
"How can you understand My pain?! T'is I who lost my brother not you. And whats there to listen to? That your brother killed him accidentally?!
Tell me. Were you also a part of this? I truly thought you had loved me. But it seems you're the same as well!" He shouted again coming closer to you.
"I truly do love you. Please believe me!" Your tears flowed freely.
"No you don't. Tell me... Was this marriage also a scheme of you and your family?! Shut up, just shut up for once!"
Your eyes went wide. He wanted you to shut up. You were bothering him. He doubted your love for him. His own eyes widened a bit when he realised what he said. He left the chambers in a hurry not wanting to discuss about this further.
Your chest felt tight. You couldn't breathe properly. You had trouble while trying to inhale the air.
_________________________________________
As Jacaerys left the chambers, he felt as if his clothes were too tight for his body. He saw Baela and Rhaena bringing your food to your chambers like they have been since the day they received the news of Luke.
They nodded at him as he reciprocated.
As they went inside the chambers, a scream could be heard. Possibly from Baela. It could be heard from all the corners of the castle.
Jace heard it before anyone else as his heart stopped. He rushed straight back to the shared room as he saw Baela cradling your unconscious, small form to her chest while Rhaena panicked and told the maids to call for the maesters.
His breathing stopped as he saw his mother and Princess Rhaenys enter the room along with the maester and maids. His mother looked at him as his eyes filled with tears.
First he lost Lucerys he can't lose you too. He didn't mean anything he said.
_________________________________________
Jacaerys paced around the hall infront of your room. He watched as Rhaena guided his little brother Joffery to his room. Joffery was fond of you which warmed Jace's heart.
As the maesters came out both he and Rhaenyra stood up.
"How is she?" He asked them.
"She has a heavy fever. It possibly happened due to excessive stress. She must have bed rest. " The maesters spoke before leaving.
_________________________________________
It had been 2 days. You were yet to wake up. Moonfyre's cries and wails could be heard from everywhere. She was uncomfortable. Her bonded sister was not well and she could sense it.
Jace held your hand as he apologized over and over again. His tears wetting the sheets.
Your eyes slowly opened. Adjusting to the bright light. Jace looked up to see you now wide awake, trying to sit up.
"No no lay down. You need rest. The maester said you were stressed." He said. His voice quivering.
"Don't cry. I understand your part. I'm sorry I am not what you wish for. I know you wouldn't want to be with a murderer's sister. Hence I give you full permission to take a second wife." You gently said while looking at him.
"No shut up." He said lowly not believing what you said. "I didn't mean anything I said that day. I am sorry." He spoke.
You looked out the window remembering the last time he had asked you to shut up. Tears again filled your eyes which you blinked away but Jace noticed.
"My love i didn't mean it that way. Please believe me." He pleaded shaking his head as held your hand tight.
News spreads fast in the castle. A maid had informed the rest that you were awake. Daemon was with Caraxes and lord Corlys and Princess Rhaenys were somewhere on the beach.
Rhaenyra, Rhaena and Baela came to the your chambers. The sisters came beside you as they held onto your hand.
Even though you were the daughter of their enemy, they loved you. You were different.
Rhaenyra looked at her son before turning her gaze to you. She felt disappointed in her son after she learned about the argument.
You asked Rhaena for the letter kept on your bedside table as your body was too weak to move. You probably need a few more weeks to be healthy again.
You asked her to give it Rhaenyra.
As Rhaenyra opened the letter and read it's contents, she felt clueless. She didn't realise the state of the other side. Her companion was manipulated from the start.
She held your hand and gave you a sad look. She handed the letter to Jace as she thought that he should read it as well.
His heart broke. You tried to tell him everything but he refused to listen. You tried to explain everything but he only badmouthed you.
Rhaenyra promised you that Otto Hightower will be punished and that none of your siblings would be harmed.
_________________________________________
Calling of your name came from two bubbly voice as they ran to you. You crouched down and opened your arms. The force of your nephew and niece's weight made you fall flat on your butt.
Jacaerys smiled as he saw the reunion. Infront of him stood your four siblings whom you kissed on the cheeks and hugged after getting up.
It was Rhaenyra's official coronation day. Otto Hightower was beheaded for his schemes against the crown.
Rhaenyra and Alicent were finally together again after Rhaenyra found Daemon with Nettles.
All of the royal family stood as King Jaehaerys' crown was placed upon her head. All gave their respects to their first queen.
Jacaerys held your hand tight as he smiled at you which you reciprocated.
_________________________________________
As night fell over kings landing, you and Jace retired to your new shared chambers.
"Husband. Join me in bed." You requested. Your body glowing in your night gown because of the moonlight.
"Of course avy jorrāelan." Jace replied as he climbed on top of the bed and over your body, pinning you down.
He kissed you passionately as one of your hand cupped his face while the other held onto his neck for support.
His naked chest glowed like yours in the moonlight.
"You are most precious thing I have my love." He said as pulled away from your lips.
"And you, my lord husband, came in my life like a blessing disguised as a curse." You said as you both looked at each other and hungrily kissed each other.
The two of slept a long time after consummating the entire night.
He truly did came in your life like a Blessing disguised as a Curse.....
-Lillian
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strawbeerossi · 11 months
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Sweet Treat
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Pairing: Fem!Reader x Spencer Reid
Description: Penelope gives you aphrodisiac chocolates as a gag gift. Whenever you and Spencer have a movie night, you both don’t realize what sweets you are delving into.
Content/Warnings: Awkward little banter between friends, mutual pining is mentioned, food/eating, aphrodisiacs, unprotected sex
Word Count: 2.4K
Kinktober Day Twenty Three: Aphrodisiacs
Navigation || Kinktober Masterlist || AO3
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“Penelope, what the hell is this?” You asked, a laugh leaving your lips as you looked over the container of what looked to be normal chocolate. “Well! I found it online and apparently it’s some of that chocolate that you eat and you just wanna go crazy on the first person you see.” She giggled.
A girls night meant all sorts of things but whenever Penelope pulled out presents, you knew exactly where this was going. You and the girls had met up at her place about an hour ago. After ordering Chinese takeout and having way too much wine, the night had taken a bit of a turn when it came to discussions. Women talk. Sex was a main topic between you and your small friend group.
“So you are giving them to me?! P, I don’t even have a boyfriend.” You laughed. “Who needs a boyfriend whenever you can have fun with anyone in the world. Just keep them.”
And so you did. It was days after the fact whenever you were inviting Spencer over for a marathon of your favorite show. It was going to be fun, you and your best friend from the office watching your favorite show together. He’d offered to pick up food on the way, which he’d stuck with a good Thai place that you both had eaten at numerous times before whenever you got back from a particularly late case.
Spencer was your best friend on the team, the both of you being closer in age compared to the rest of the crew you worked with. Plus you had similar interests when it came to books, movies, among other things. You’d greeted him with a wide smile the minute the door opened. “Hey!” You grinned while moving to hug him. Despite his disdain for hugs or being touched, he’d slowly began to let you in more. He was happy to hug you or have you hold his hand whenever you needed to pull him somewhere else in a crowded room without losing him.
He enjoyed being by your side. Honestly, he was sure he was in love with you because of how caring you were. You listened to his rambles and even asked him further questions. You even laughed at the jokes that were complicated to understand. You were truly a light shining bright on the team. “I hope you have snacks because I didn’t even stop.” Spencer groaned after returning the hug with one arm as his foot kicked the front door shut. “I do. I have a lot in the kitchen.” You assured.
You'd started the new season of your show together and gotten through dinner within a few episodes before Spencer disappeared into the kitchen as you paused the program on tv. “Don’t take too long! I gotta see how this plays out!” You called while leaning back against the couch, pulling the blanket over your body while letting out a soft hum. Spencer had ended up grabbing some chocolate. Which he didn’t read over the label as he grabbed a tab from the container and looked it over. “That’s cute. It’s got little shapes.” He chuckled to himself, breaking one in half as he was moving to take a bite from the rich milk chocolate. It was to die for, so he had to take the other half to you so you could try before you both tore into the bag together.
“Try this. It’s so rich. I actually love it.” He’d commented. You weren’t paying attention to what the chocolate looked like, bringing it up to your nose and smelling it before you were pulling the piece in your mouth. Which it was delicious, your eyebrows raising. “Wow, that really is good.” You laughed, watching as Spencer was sitting down and passing over snacks to you. “We can eat the chocolate later. You know sweet stuff can either send me flying on the walls or I end up feeling bad to do anything.” Fair enough.
It was an hour later when you were on another episode, your body was feeling hot as you shifted uncomfortably on the couch. You wouldn’t like to think that you were attracted to the program, it was a horror series and you were in the middle of a chase scene. So why else were you squirming?
Just as you were going to excuse yourself to take care of the heat in your belly, you noticed Spencer shifting uncomfortably, a pillow resting over his lap. Then you thought about the chocolate, your eyes widening as you were shooting up from the couch and rushing to the kitchen. Spencer watched you, turning slightly on the couch to watch you curiously through the doorway. That’s when you see the box, a soft groan leaving your lips as you lifted up the sex candy while bringing a hand up to rest against your face. ‘
Just great. You knew you should’ve just put it in your room.
“Spencer.” The sound of your voice had him nearly jumping out of his skin as he quickly faced the tv again. “Yeah?” He asked as his hand clutched the pillow harder. Maybe you’d caught him. Even someone who wasn’t a profiler could tell there was something going on, not to mention the growing tension between the both of you.
Mutual pining was normal and you both weren’t exempt from that. Spencer was an awkward rambler but you found it endearing. Just as he found you as equally as endearing even if you were quiet a good majority of the time and relished in his ramblings about whatever was brought up. You both enjoyed each other's presence, the two of you spending time together more often than not.
Those unsaid mutual feelings made this whole situation worse.
You approached the couch again as you slowly sat down beside Spencer again, body leaning back against the couch as you could feel yourself hot, face flushed as you couldn’t sit still to save your life. Spencer had now taken notice, clearing his throat. “I-I uh.. I may need to leave soon. M-mom’s facility called.” A lie but it would be a smooth getaway.
“Oh, yeah. Uh, it might be for the best! I forgot that I have to..” Your eyes glanced around the room. “Reorganize my bookshelf!” Less subtle. “R-right. Uh, This seems weird but can you close your eyes for a minute? I just..” His eyes were glued on the pillow, making you bring your eyes down as well. “O-oh.”
“It’s not because of the show!” He squeaked, face bright red as he was looking back at the screen. “I don’t- I don’t know why but I was looking at you and it just.. I don’t know!” He whined. His awkwardness made it hard for him to admit why there was a pillow on his lap outright, however you had clocked the reasons why.
“You know the chocolate..? Uh, Penelope gave me them the other day as a joke and they are.. They are essentially just sex chocolate.” Your face was hot, chest rising and falling as you were feeling the gush of slick in your panties from the heightened arousal. “Wait. Aphrodisiacs?!” Spencer was looking at you with wide eyes, mouth agape in shock. Well, at least he didn’t feel as bad from getting hard after giving you a few glances. There was a reason behind it.
The both of you stared at one another, faces hot and eyes blown out with lust. “So uh.. How long does this last?” Spencer finally asked, his brain being too clouded over with lust as he stared in your direction. “I-I wouldn’t know.. I never used them.” Your nose crinkled as the both of you couldn’t seem to tear your eyes away from one another. “I, uh, I lied about my reason to leave.” He stated the obvious while you couldn’t help but let a little laugh escape your lips. “I know..” You admitted, slowly pushing yourself to stand. “I um.. I don’t actually have to reorganize my bookshelf either..” You laughed awkwardly while heading over to stand in front of your best friend, hand moving to gently rest over the pillow. “I don’t want you to go.. Not yet. Can you, um, help me out a little bit? I trust you and you are here.” You rambled on as you put your hands together slowly. Spencer was looking at you with wide eyes as he nodded slowly.
“I’ll help.” You were both a bit awkward at first, the male letting you move the pillow before you were straddling his waist, the show in the background continuing to run as your best friend was blushing nervously. “I gotta admit that I’ve only done this one time before..” He spoke while you offered a smile. “It’s alright.” You whispered as you let your head dip down to connect your lips with his. Your bodies were buzzing with electricity as you were deepening the kiss, your hands tangling in his hair while his hands were gripping your hips.
You never thought you’d be in this position, tongue in your closest friend’s mouth while your hips were grinding down against his. You felt a fire inside of you, your body desperate to be bare and touched. As you pulled out of the kiss much to Spencer’s dismay, you were tugging your shirt over your head before tossing it somewhere else in the room. The sight of your breasts in a white bra had Spencer’s Adams apple bobbing as his eyes were trained on the lace that accentuated your skin. “It’s pretty right? One of my favorites.” You comment while watching his eyes stare at your tits with a new sense of hunger in his eyes.
You took it as a great sign as your hand was reaching behind you, unclasping the top before letting it fall somewhere with your shirt. His hands were quickly coming up to cup your breasts before he was just diving right in, wet kisses being pressed against your skin before his lips were wrapping around your nipple, tongue flicking over the nub as your fingers tangled in his hair. “Fuck.” You cursed while his attention was focused on your chest.
Your body was perfect.
As he had gotten enough though, he was pulling back to examine your chest that was covered in a few hickies and your hardened nipples. “You look so pretty.” It wasn’t akin to being called a whore or a slut but you honestly liked it. The way he complimented your body had your cheeks heating up as you were lifting your hips when he had gained enough confidence to work on your pants. He’d tugged down your pants and panties before working on his own pants.
“Eager?” You commented, a little giggle leaving your lips as Spencer looked at you as if you’d grown another head. “Have you seen yourself?! Of course I’m eager!” He defended himself, causing the both of you to share a laugh. “I hate to rush this but-” He was cut off by a groan as your hand reached between you both to give his leaking cock a few tugs. “I know, me too. You can make up for the lack of foreplay later.” You wiggled your eyebrows as you pressed your lips against his once more, your leaking hole sinking down onto his cock.
The both of you had let out moans muffled in one another’s mouths as your hips rocked slowly, getting adjusted to the man’s thick cock. It was always the awkward nerds who had the best surprises.
Your head was falling on his shoulder as he held your hips with a bruising grip. He wasn’t one to have sex often, not being lucky like Derek in the department of women effortlessly throwing themselves at him. He knew that this scenario was one he never imagined happening, your velvety walls clenching tightly around this bare cock while you essentially used him as a human dildo to get yourself off.
He wasn’t complaining in the slightest, watching your face contort in ecstasy as his hips were thrusting upwards to slam into your leaking cunt, a groan falling from his lips as his head tilted back against the sofa. You were whining and moaning with each thrust that he matched with your movements, eventually pushing the one place you needed most. The impact had your hands clutching tightly to his shoulders as you let your mouth fall open with a soft cry.
“Oh my god, fuck, I’m gonna cum.” Your words were slurred, the effects of the aphrodisiacs heightening all of your arousal so you felt like you were going to burst at the seams. Your body was hot, hips surely bruised by Spencer’s rough grip as he slammed into you as well as your legs shaking from their position.
When you did hit your peak, you were tightly grabbing Spencer’s shoulders as your hips slammed down into his lap, ass hitting his thighs at an unsteady rhythm. Spencer however, was quickly flipping you both over, your body sprawled out against your living room couch as he was rolling on top of you.
Taking the opportunity, he wasn’t skipping a beat as his hips slammed into yours, your sensitive cunt contracting around his cock as he was bringing himself to climax. As your moans and whines from overstimulation echoed in the apartment, his own whines of desperation were falling from his lips.
His cock twitched inside of your used pussy, quickly making the effort to pull out of you as he jerked at his leaking cock, a low huff leaving his lips as ropes of cum were now pooling in your stomach, glazing your bare skin as he let out a weak whine. As you lay there covered in his spent, your chest was rising and falling at a rapid pace as you made the effort to catch your breath.
“I think that chocolate needs to be thrown away to avoid incidents like this again,” his voice pulled you out of your post sex haze as you laughed a little. “Are you kidding? I think we need to do this every time we watch our show together.” You teased, making Spencer shake his head with a smile.
“At least hide it for when you have anyone else over. I don’t think I’ll survive if this mix up happens with someone else.”
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Kinkmas (11)- The Grinch Who Stole Her Heart
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Wanda X Reader 18+
Summary: When a certain witch discovers your hate for Christmas, she can't help but try her best into convincing you to love the festive season.
Word Count: 10.8k 
Warnings/Tags: Friends to Lovers, Slow burn, Fluff, Domestic Avengers, Christmas Fluff, Flirting, Crushes, Mutual Pining, Christmas Decorating, Gingerbread houses, Ice Skating, Snowball Fights, Soft Smut, First time, Inexperienced Wanda/Experienced Reader, Fingering, Praise, Confessions, Aftercare 
Kinkmas Masterlist
---
Gentle chatter and a tranquil, festive atmosphere wrapped around the common room of the compound like a warm, cosy blanket, most of the team bunched up on various sofas with snacks ready in hand, waiting for Wanda to finally press the play button to start Home Alone on the big screen.
The witch, however, was not ready to start the movie, her eyes flickering over the content and excited faces of the team, searching for one individual in particular.
You.
Where were you?
"Where's Y/n?" Wanda asked, puzzled, the soft murmur in the room going quiet, curious and confused gazes meeting one another at the brunette's question, apprehensive to tell the truth.
Natasha carefully placed down the bowl of popcorn that was in her lap, inadvertently stopping Clint from stealing more of the treat which made him grumble a little, the redhead looking between the rest of the team, not wanting to dampen the young woman's mood.
It had become abundantly clear over the last few days and since the start of December that Wanda was in love with the idea of Christmas and all the festive traditions, the team having tried their best to keep you away from her, despite the witch subconsciously seeking you out, her mind unable to explain why her heart would flutter in your presence, her mood always being lifted by you.
"Y/n isn't a 'fan' of Christmas," Natasha cautiously phrases her words, not wanting to ruin the mood that was so gratefully appreciated in the room, the uplifted mood of Christmas enabling the mighty Avengers to have some time to relax and spend together as a family.
"What?" Wanda's tone signalling her confusion at how someone could possibly not like Christmas, her head tilting in her usual manner, Pietro speeding from the sofa to stand with his sister, seemingly just as baffled.
"How can she not be a fan of Christmas?" Pietro adds, just as obsessed with the festive season as his sister, his love for it being driven by the sheer amount of food and presents though.
"She just..." Natasha trails off, thinking how to explain your lack of jolliness, her eyes flickering to Clint for a little help. The archer simply shrugs, her leg kicking back at his shin for his lack of usefulness, a small yelp escaping him as he grabs the popcorn bowl, deciding that the food would be a sufficient apology from her.
"She hates it," Tony bluntly puts it, everyone's head turning from the sofas to the billionaire in the kitchen, fixing himself a ridiculously large hot chocolate in the beautifully decorated kitchen, annoyance written across Steve and Natasha's face as they wanted to keep it a peaceful evening.
"She doesn't 'hate' it," Steve tries to reason, his blue eyes flickering towards Sam and Bucky who are disinterested in what's going on, most likely bickering between themselves over who gets more room on the sofa.
"Oh come on Capsicle," Tony teases, Steve's cheeks darkening at the nickname the man uses for him, mumbling under his breath an 'oh god' at the billionaire's mischievous tone. "She hates it. End of. We've all tried to get her to like it but she just refuses to enjoy the Christmas spirit," he says whilst placing his steaming mug down, flopping onto his section of the sofa and asking Friday to lower the lights, wanting to watch the film now. "Now, are we going to watch the film or not?" He asks, clearly not bothered by your absence.
"Not all of us have tried," Wanda says after a moment, tossing the remote to Natasha, hoping she'd somehow keep the boys in check, knowing the chaos the entire team could cause without her magic there to stop objects flying across the room. "Start the film without me," Wanda calls out, walking out of the room, determined to find your room and figure out a way to persuade you into falling in love with the magical season.
Despite not figuring out a plan, the brunette knocks on your door with purpose, waiting outside for you to open up, various thoughts flooding through her mind as she impatiently plays with the rings on her fingers.
Eventually, you open your bedroom door, your brow raising at her current outfit, a smug smirk creeping onto your lips. The Christmas themed pyjamas amused you as you let your eyes wander down the various festive items decorating the fabric, the red and green chequered pants slightly too long for her as they pooled around her ankles, the fluffy socks further entertaining you as you stood in a simple, thin shirt and joggers, a stark contrast to her holiday themed get up.
"What-"
"Why do you hate Christmas?" she asks, enticing green eyes gazing into yours curiously, your eyes widening at her forward question, a soft chuckle escaping you, Wanda unable to stop the swarm of butterflies in her stomach at the sound.
"Why do you love Christmas?" You counter, leaning against the door frame as you see various emotions flicker across her face, your features softening at her adorably annoyed state.
"Why do I love Christmas?" She repeats almost shocked, still baffled at the whole ordeal, "It's just magical," her tone laced with the love she has for the time of year. "It's a time to spend with family, to give gifts, to have fun with silly traditions," she lists, watching closely to your reactions as your soft expression remains uninterested.
"Just seems like a lot of effort to me," you casually say, her brows furrowing at your words, mouth parting and closing, unsure of what to say. "Is that all you wanted to ask? I'm currently in the middle of a mission report," your tone is annoyingly soft and calm, determination brewing in Wanda to show you how amazing Christmas was but still unsure how.
"No, I..." she trails off for a moment, tilting her head marginally to the side as she thinks hard about how to convince you. "Do you really hate it?" She asks, tone trying her best to hide the disappointment that filled her, your smile softening, body pushing yourself off the frame of the door to look at her properly, still amused at her clothing.
"It's just not for me, Wanda," your tone apologetic as you gathered how much she loved the season, your heart clenching a little at the despondent look that took over her face, wishing you could ensure a smile was always on her lips, only ever wanting her to be happy.
"Ok," she whispers, slowly nodding at your words and turning around to retreat to where the rest of the team was, a sudden idea entering her mind as she hears you shutting the door. "Give me one week," her tone desperate and rushed as your hand halted, opening the door with a confused look, laughing softly as she quickly walked back over to the door, fluffy socks sliding a little on the smooth floor.
"What?" your tone matches the curiosity engraved on your face, smile widening at the glint of hope in her eyes.
"Give me one week to show you how magical Christmas is," she explains further, her enchanting green eyes almost putting you under a spell, part of you contemplating giving into her despite your dislike for everything about December 25th. Your face shows your conflicted state, Wanda taking your delayed response as a win, her nose scrunching up in a way that has your heart beating wildly in your chest, an inexplicable onrush of affection flowing through you. "Please?" she adds, excitement creeping into he tone as you sigh out heavily, unable to resist the soft spot you had for her, a smile gracing your features.
"One week," you begrudgingly say, a smile still present on your face though as her lips stretch into a wide grin, joy filling her as various ideas flood through her mind, ready to warm you up to the season.
***
"I'm not so sure you're trying to convince me," you mutter, lifting the heavy box of decorations and trudging your way towards her room, "I feel like you're just using me for slave labour," you grumble, peaking over the box to watch your step, bumping into the corner of the door frame before dropping the box onto the floor, a rattle of baubles filling the room.
"If you stopped complaining and acting like the grinch this would be a whole lot easier," she teases, crouching down and opening the box, looking up at you with a small smirk that has you rolling your eyes, happiness taking over your chest as you follow her command.
"The grinch is an icon," you mumble, flickering your gaze away from the aesthetic decorations in the box and into her alluring green, finding them far more interesting than the shiny plastic objects.
"Yeah? And why is that?" Her tone is playful and cheerful, eliciting an involuntary smile from you as you struggle to maintain your composure near her, the crush you thought you had gotten over seeming to resurface, her brow raising expectantly as she waits for you to continue.
"He lives in a mountain with his dog, away from people, sounds like heaven to me," your tone slightly sarcastic, earning a soft laughter from her, her eyes sparkling with an emotion you couldn't quite decipher. Her gaze drifts away from you as her own heart starts to beat wildly in her chest at being able to spend time with you, her lips pulling up into a shy smile. "And he's green," you add, a humorous grin taking over your face, cracking her composure.
A giggle leaves her lips at your tone, her hand coming up to cover her mouth as she tries to stifle her laugh, her eyes meeting yours with an amused glimmer in them, your smile widening as warmth floods through you in a tender manner.
"What's so special about the colour green?" She manages to ask when she stops laughing, entertained by your words, reluctantly turning her back away from you as she moves towards the tree in her room with a bundle of lights, beckoning you over as she untangles them, wanting your help to decorate her room as she hadn't had time to do it yet.
It's the colour of your eyes is what you initially think of saying, a small blush appearing on your cheeks as you rethink an answer, grateful she wasn't looking at you as you thought it, her head soon looking back over her shoulder as you don't answer.
"I don't know," you unconvincingly respond, shoulders shrugging, "It's just a cool colour." Wanda chuckles, clearly not believing your vague answer as she looks at your form over her shoulder, playfully shaking her head before continuing to wrap the lights around the pine tree while you gradually make your way over to her, your attention flickering over to her desk.
"Oh my god," you laugh out, admiring the framed photograph of Wanda and Pietro dressed up for Halloween in Sokovia, chuckling at their ridiculous outfits. "Pietro looks like Fury with that eye patch," you snicker out, Wanda rushing over to you and sliding the photo out of your hands, embarrassed by her toothy grin in it, a smile still on her face as she hears your genuine laugh, her gaze moving to the photo of her and her brother that she always loved.
"He wanted to be his own version of a pirate," she explains with a nostalgic tone, placing down the photo while you just admire her features, getting lost in thought again, the feelings you tried to bury trying their best to take over you as you simply smile at her softly, a tender expression taking over her face at your enamoured gaze.
"I bet he was just as annoying as a child as he is now," you tease, making her laugh again, your heart melting at being able to hear the sound again, the brunette placing an ornament in your hand to stop you procrastinating, sensing your attempt at stalling her plans.
"Even more," she jokes, her fingers brushing over yours softly, the touch engraved in your memory as they pull away from you, Wanda snapping you out of your thoughts as she continues. "Now come on, we have a tree to decorate," her tone adding excitement to it as you let out a displeased grumble, still smiling at her though.
Maybe, just maybe, the next week wasn't going to be as bad as you thought.
***
"I hope you know I'm only here because you promised me food," you mumble whilst your hand supports your head as you sit at the kitchen island, eyes wandering around the various decorations littered around the room then towards the woman in front of you, observing how she rolls out the gingerbread.
A soft, genuine smile takes over her face in amusement, her gaze lifting to meet your form watching her attentively, chuckling softly as she continues to measure out the dimensions for the house she intended on making, a playful and teasing expression taking over her angelic features.
"Is that so?" she asks, slicing through the dough she's rolled to create the walls of the house, your eyes trained on the deft way her fingers move, gaze lifting to watch her concentrate, in awe of her working. You knew Wanda loved to cook and bake, but to watch her properly, almost intimately, made you truly appreciate her love for the hobby.
"Yep," you say while popping the 'p', smiling at the way she wipes her forehead with the back of her hand, a streak of powdered sugar visible against her skin, your teeth biting down on your lip to stop yourself from laughing at her cute state.
"Well if someone wants to eat they have to help," her tone reprimanding you for not helping her at all so far.
"I've helped," you say, pretending to take offence as she uses her magic to softly push you off the stool at the kitchen island, a small groan leaving you as you eventually wander around the kitchen to stand next to her. "Does moral support not mean anything anymore?" you mutter as she hands you a spoon, your fake mood crumbling away at the way she peers up at you with a raised brow, the streak of sugar making you smile.
"What?" she laughs out when you end up staring at her forehead too long, a nervous expression on her face as you grab a cloth from the countertop and delicately wipe away the mess on her skin, her cheeks a similar colour to her magic as she tries to control her emotions, a shy smile taking over her features as you meet her gaze with an affectionate look.
"There's my contribution," you joke, tossing the cloth back onto the countertop as Wanda sees the small smear of powdered sugar on the fabric, the wave of embarrassment never coming as you continue to smile at her, her head shaking at your antics.
"You're not getting out of it that easy," she chuckles out, setting up the bowl for you to make the icing in, handing you everything you'd need before checking on the gingerbread that was in the oven, making sure everything was going to plan.
After you've made the icing and the dough is baked to perfection as well as having cooled down, Wanda starts to put together the house with your help, deciding to ask Friday to help encourage the festive spirit by getting them to play the witch's Christmas playlist, an amused glint present in your eyes as you picture her listening to the music on her own, most likely dancing to each tune.
Your fingers carefully hold the wall of gingerbread, Wanda delicately piping the icing along the edges to help stabilise the structure, the smell of the freshly made treat making your mouth yearn to taste the delicious flavours, the other woman humming the tune to the song that was playing as you assembled the house together. Quicker than you expected, you had the house made and just in need of decorating, your gaze now on Wanda who softly sang the lyrics to 'Last Christmas', a mischievous smile taking over your face.
As if sensing your gaze on her, she met your admiring stare, her smile stretching that little bit wider as she lifts the spoon from the icing bowl, using it as a microphone as she keeps her enchanting eyes on you.
"Tell me, baby, do you recognise me?" she sings, her voice angelic as you can't help but watch in awe as she subtly dances near you, walking behind your body and enticing you to follow her. "Well, it's been a year, it doesn't surprise me," her gentle voice sounding around the room, blessing your ears as she sings the iconic song, "'Happy Christmas', I wrapped it up and sent it, with a note saying 'I love you' I meant it, now I know what a fool I've been." Her words further lure you into being amazed by her, your body turning once again to follow her movements, her body next to yours as she places the bowls she's just collected on the countertop, her eyes lifting up to meet your enamoured gaze, "But if you kissed me now, I know you'd fool me again." Your breath hitches at the way her eyes subconsciously drift to your lips before flickering back up, the soft, loving glint evident in her eyes as the gaze lingers, her only breaking the gaze when the desire to kiss you becomes too strong.
"Last Christmas, I gave you my heart but the very next day-"
"You sold it on ebay," you interrupt, a teasing smile on your lips as you steal the piping bag from her, a laugh spilling from her lips at your immature behaviour. "This year, to save me from tears, I'll give it to Marks and Spencers," her hand lightly slaps your arm as you 'ruined' the chorus for her, her smile almost reaching her ears though at the pure joy you managed to fill her with, your arms raising in surrender as you see wisps of magic flicker at her fingers, knowing how she could torture you with ticklish sensations like she did a couple days ago when decorating the tree. "Ok, ok," you laugh out in surrender as the red tendrils brush over your skin, "Tesco extra instead of Marks and Spencers?"
She simply smacks you lightly once again on the shoulder, her hand lingering against your body before pulling back, rolling her eyes at your amused and smug smile, cheekily squeezing a little of the icing onto your finger to taste it.
"Mhmm delicious," you softly moan at the sweet treat, exaggerating your love for the simple food you made, Wanda stealing the bag back from you and pointing it at you like it was a weapon.
"Stop eating all the decorations," she mutters, using her magic to push away the bowl full of sprinkles, laughing softly at the way your hand misses and hits the table, a small pout forming on your lips.
"Fine," you grumble as she hands you the piping bag back, letting you have full reign on decorating the gingerbread house, something she'd inevitably regret.
***
A couple hours later you're sprawled out against the sofa, a bowl of the broken gingerbread house in your lap as you tilt your head to look at Wanda, once again admiring her features while she was fully immersed in whatever was playing on the tv.
Your eyes focus on each delicate feature of her face, trailing over the slight dust of pink on her cheeks, a few strands of brunette locks framing her face perfectly and the gentle slope of her nose before spending a little more time admiring her plump lips and eventually settling on her mesmerising eyes. Your heart clenched a little at her beauty, your gaze eventually being torn away from her as you knew you shouldn't think of her as more of a friend, to get lost in fantasy of what it would feel like to be with her all over again as you remember the pain of pushing it all down.
The soft giggle that left her lips immediately knocked you out of your thoughts, the smile that seemed ever present near her emerging once again as you raised your brow at her when you met her gaze, her nose scrunching in that captivating manner as red wisps form at the tips of her fingers once again.
"I thought we were going to share the gingerbread," She teases lightly, using her magic to steal a piece from you, your hand wrapping protectively around your bowl of treats.
"Woah, this is mine Maximoff," you defensively say, using her surname playfully, addicted to the taste of the icing you used to cover most of the crisp gingerbread, the aim of your decorations to give you a sugar overload. "I decorated it," you mumble, squinting your eyes at her when she floats over a larger piece from the bowl in faux annoyance, your hands placing the bowl down as there way no way you'd be able to stop her magic, your eyes watching with interest how the red tendrils delicately flow through the air.
"And I made it," she counters, biting into the corner of the roof, a pleased noise escaping her at the taste of it, the festive spirit further consuming her as the taste brings back many memories of past Christmases, a nostalgic look taking over her face momentarily.
"I thought you were trying to convince me to like Christmas," you joke as you lean back against the sofa, eyes trained on her as she raises her brow at your relaxed manner, continuing to eat her piece of gingerbread.
"I am, is it working?" She asks, smiling at you hopefully, her enthralling green solely focused on you making it hard to think straight and come up with your usual sarcastic remark. You pause for a moment, Wanda's head tilting in curiosity as you remain silent, a small blush forming on your cheeks as you gather yourself together.
"It would be if I got to eat all the gingerbread," you tease eventually, switching your gaze to something other than her alluring beauty, eyes landing on the various sweets stuck on the white icing.
"Is it actually working though?" She asks again, voice holding a more serious and intrigued tone compared to her joking tone, her green containing a hint of nerves as she really hoped it was.
Your mouth opens and closes to respond, unsure of what to say. If you were being honest, you didn't love the festive season any more, you simply enjoyed the last three days because you were with her.
"It hasn't changed my opinion on Christmas," you say softly, her face dropping a little making you continue, "But, I have had so much fun over the last few days, I... I've really enjoyed spending time with you," you fix her mood instantly, a blush taking over her face this time, her gaze flickering away from you, teeth biting down softly on her lower lip to try and contain her smile.
"Yeah?" she murmurs out a little timidly, gathering the courage to meet your softening gaze once more, the two of you smiling at each other, unaware of the swirling emotions in both of you. "Well still I've got four more days to fix that," she says, tone determined and adamant that she would persuade you, your smile growing that little bit wider at her confidence, part of you hoping she was right just to see that smile on her face.
***
"I'm not so sure about this Wanda," your voice a little shaky as your fingers grip the edge of the wall as tightly as possible, the ice skates you were wearing sliding on the ice in a manner than unnerved you, your eyes lifting to find Wanda only to see her skating off skilfully, turning back to you with a teasing look.
"Come on, I promise it's fun," she calls back, swarms of people brushing past you, further adding to your nerves as you hated how unstable you felt, her green eyes meeting yours through the crowd, sensing how uncomfortable you felt.
You watched a little embarrassed as she effortlessly skated over to you, the sound of screaming children nearby and the scratching of ice being blocked out as she comes closer to you, a different kind of anxiety flowing through you at her little smirk.
"Is the infamous Y/n, world hero and Avenger, scared of ice skating?" she teases softly, your eyes rolling at her comment. Just because you were an Avenger didn't mean you enjoyed activities like this.
"No..." you trailed off, your foot slipping slightly, Wanda watching how your body immediately tensed, knuckles bleeding white at your grip on the edge of the wall, her hand moving to your lower back to keep you stable, wanting to make sure you were alright. "Maybe just a little," you confess quietly, hoping she wouldn't find it a problem, her smile turning a little sympathetic. "It's scary ok? Steve got stuck in ice for like seventy plus years in it so it must be very dangerous," you explain, a genuine laugh slipping past her lips at your reasoning.
"It was only sixty six years," she corrects, your head shaking a little at her words, your mind processing where her hand was, a wave of butterflies taking over your body as your fingers adjust their grip on the cold edge.
"Do you trust me?" Her voice a gentle whisper, your mind focussing on her, only her as she looks at you as if you were the only thing going on in the ice rink, your head nodding as you couldn't muster any words to leave your mouth, far too nervous to not embarrass yourself any further.
Her hands gently clasp yours, her fingers intimately interlocking with yours, her soft gaze meeting your hesitant one, her feet guiding her backwards as she slides across the ice, pulling you carefully with her.
"Bend your knees a little," she instructs, trying to guide you into the best position so you wouldn't fall. You try to listen to her but the feeling of her impossibly soft hands in yours makes all common sense leave your mind, your body just about listening to her instructions. "Don't lean too far forwards if you don't want to fall," she playfully whispers, keeping you close to her as she can tell it's keeping you calm, her intoxicating perfume reaching your senses and further drowning you in the thought of her. "That's it," she praises softly, a small smile reaching your lips as you skate slightly on your own, still tightly gripping onto her, not that she minded.
The two of you did a few laps around the ring, your grip on her gradually decreasing as your confidence grew, the two of you stopping by a wall to relax for a moment, your cheeks and noses tinted pink from the cold room, smiles engraved on both of your faces.
Your smile widens when you see a child fall over, a snicker leaving your lips as you can't help it, Wanda playfully pushing you at your reaction, reprimanding your behaviour as the mother briefly looks over towards you two in annoyance, her child's face pulling into distress. Panic flashes across your face as you slip a little, your arm shooting out to wrap around hers, pulling yourself into her body, flush against her, making both of your blushes darken a little, her arm wrapping around you to keep you upright.
"Don't," you mumble when you feel her laugh against you, your body melting against hers as she keeps you stable and secure, her body also helping you keep warm.
"Don't what? Tease you?" She chuckles out, your head turning to meet her amused and mischievous gaze, breath hitching a little as you underestimated the space between you, your lips mere inches away from hers, both of your gazes drifting down to one another's mouths.
The heat that washes over you when her slightly darkened green meet yours causes you to straighten your back, pulling yourself further away from her face, your hand hesitantly reaching further down her arm to her fingers, interlocking them once again to try and keep your thoughts on anything but the longing to feel her lips on yours, a brief moment of courage washing through you when she doesn't pull back.
"I won't tease you," she whispers out once she's gotten control over her pounding heart, her cheeks still tinted pink as she smiles at your hand holding hers, her thumb brushing over the back of your hand, grateful for you being braver than her and initiating something. "But that doesn't mean I won't tell Nat," a soft laugh leaves you as you meet her eyes once more, sensing the mirth in them as she imagined the various ways the Russian would torment you.
"I'm never going to hear the end of it," you mumble, her nose scrunching at your tone, the action making you think it was worth any amount of teasing comments that Natasha could throw at you, the warmth that wrapped around your heart at her expression worth anything in the world as she drags you away from the wall again, skating with you, hand in hand.
***
A relentless pounding at your door has you reluctantly rolling out of bed, in dire need of a nap after the new workout Natasha wanted to try with you, your body ready to sink into your soft mattress and relax for just a little bit.
"You better have some more gingerbread," you mutter as you hear Wanda call your name through the door, your hand turning your door handle and opening, revealing the woman who consumed all your thoughts. "What-" A thick winter coat was thrown at you, your body not expecting the item making you take a step back, your eyes widening at Wanda in confusion as you properly took a hold of the clothing item, the coat a contrast to your oversized shirt and joggers.
"Do you wanna build a snowman?" she sings in a teasing voice, a groan leaving your lips at the movie reference, a tired sigh leaving your lips.
"I just wanna sleep," you whine out as she simply walks into your room as you turn away, smiling at the way you still comply to her question, searching through your wardrobe for a thick jumper and pants, not wanting to freeze in the cold as snowflakes gracefully spilled from the sky, the grass surrounding the compound drowning in the white blanket of snow.
"You can sleep later," her tone amused at the way you shake your head at her, amazed at the way she has you wrapped around her finger as you shrug on the coat she tossed you, turning your head and sending a pointed look.
"This better be worth it," you mumble, her body coming closer to yours and fixing your hood as it was sticking out weird, her cold fingers brushing the back of your neck causing you to wake up a little more.
"Spending time with me is always worth it," she whispers, recalling how you confessed to her how you enjoyed being with her, a smile creeping onto your lips as you chuckle at her words, her eyes peering up into yours as you let her fix your outfit, unable to stop the warmth bubbling inside you.
"That is true," you murmur ever so softly, her smile widening as she lets her hands drift to your shoulders to smooth the coat out, growing in confidence near you after being together for the last four days constantly. "But sleep is pretty amazing too," you mumble, earning her signature nose scrunch, your heart beating that little bit faster at the enamoured look in her eyes.
"Come on," she sighs out, walking behind you and pushing you towards the door, struggling a little as you use your strength to keep you planted.
"Save me bed! She's trying to kidnap me," you call out dramatically, chuckling as she uses her magic to push you out of the door, you calling out of your bed once more, earning another string of laughter from her as she leads you out of the compound, walking side by side with you, letting your bodies brush.
A chill takes over your body as you trudge your way through the snow that's piling up, the sound of satisfying crunches and nearby birds filling the air as you let Wanda lead you to the best place to build her desired snowman. You watch with an affectionate gaze at her thick gloves and the scarf that's wrapped so tightly around her neck, the bobble hat that she stole from you moving with each step she takes, her head looking her shoulder at you, her smile almost reaching her ears.
You follow her until she stops, deciding this was the best location to build it, her eyes looking back at the compound and ensuring you'd be able to see it from the large window in the common room, unaware of the redhead and archer sitting peacefully together, curious as to what you two were doing, a glint of realisation flickering across Natasha's face.
Unable to stop yourself, you give into the temptation of crouching down in the snow, grabbing a handful of it and moulding it into the shape of a large snowball, trying to perfect the shape to make it easier to throw.
"Hey Wanda?" You call out innocently, lining up your shot as you wait for her to turn around, her eyes glimmering with joy before widening, unable to move out of the way as the snow crashes against her body, exploding into various fragments of white dust, a gasp leaving her lips.
You can't help but laugh wholeheartedly at her reaction, an uncontrollable laughter escaping you as happiness consumes you entirely, shock present on her face to begin with before revenge takes over, taking advantage of your distracted state and grabbing a handful of snow, ready to throw it back at you.
Your laughter is interrupted when she headshots you with the snowball, disbelief evident on your face as her smile grows smug, a dangerous chuckle leaving you making her smile slowly fade, mischief evident on your face. At your expression, Wanda starts to run, laughter spilling from her lips as she gets a head start, your legs swiftly moving to catch up with her.
"Oh no you don't," you call out, your smile engraved on your face as you chase after, using your abilities to help you catch up to her. You can't stop the genuine laughter that escapes you as you dodge the snowballs her magic throws at you blindly, your body gradually catching up to her, inching closer as the two of you trample through the snow like idiots, not caring about anything else in the world but one another. Eventually, your arm wraps around her middle, pulling her closer to your body as you grab a load of snow with your other hand, intending on dropping it on her head, your plan not working as you both go tumbling in the snow, laughter still sounding around the two of you. "Gotcha," you chuckle out as you land on top of her, her hands holding onto your shoulders as your body is flush against hers, your hand cupping the back of her head protectively and the other bracing your body above hers.
Her breath gently fans across your face as you both pant a little from the sudden running, your eyes getting lost in hers as she smiles up at you angelically, your gaze eventually drifting across her features, still stunned by her beauty. Your gaze settles on her lips, watching how she subtly wets her lower lip before her teeth gently bite down on it, your eyes flickering up to her softening green, building up to ask her the question you've wanted to for ages.
"Can.... Can I kiss you?" your voice a barely audible whisper, the sound of your heart pounding against your ribcage deafening in your ears as you await a response, the butterflies in your stomach fluttering vigorously.
"Took you long enough to ask," she murmurs playfully, having heard your thoughts about her eyes all those days ago, piecing together that you may have felt the same way about her as she did towards you.
Her fingers fisted against the hem of your coat and pulled you down into her body, claiming your lips in the way you both longed for. You kissed her tenderly, her lips pressing over yours just as affectionately, the cold tip of her nose brushing against yours as you got lost in the moment together. Your eyes fluttered shut to savour the feeling of her mouth, how gentle and soft it was as you weren't guaranteed another chance, another kiss, so you forced your racing thoughts to stop for a moment as your lips moved against hers lovingly, wanting to engrave the feeling into your mind forever. The kiss was shy and timid, your lips remaining together for mere seconds, but the intimacy of it made your head spin with the thought of her. The thought of her body pressed against yours, her mouth pressed against yours, forehead leaning against yours and arms pulling you impossibly closer, it was all too much. You were utterly mesmerised by her. Everything just felt so pure, sogenuine, so... intimate that it made you sigh gently into her mouth, pulling back with nothing but love evident in your eyes as she matched your tender gaze, just as obsessed with you as you were her.
"I told you this would be worth it," she whispers against you, her lips gently brushing yours, enticing you into gently claiming hers once more, smiling into her mouth.
"It really was," you murmur lovingly against her, her head hiding against your shoulder as she can't stop the wide smile appearing on her face, her nose scrunching up once more as you melt against her body, joy coursing through you at what just happened.
She kissed you.
You actually just kissed her.
A wave of giddiness overtook you as you grinned at her when she pulled back from your body, a glimmer of mischief in her eyes as her hands left your body, your mind paying no attention to it as she looked at you in that adoring manner, consuming your thoughts.
What you didn't expect was to feel snow hitting the back of your head, an adorable laugh leaving her at her playful actions, disbelief evident on your face. The feeling of betrayal immediately left you at the heavenly noise that spills delicately from her, your head shaking to remove the snow in your hair as she cups your cheek, guiding you back down for an apologetic kiss, the two of you unable to stop smiling.
Another individual who couldn't stop smiling was Natasha who watched the scene unfold through the window with Clint, glad that you finally acted on your crush and helped her win the bet with the archer. He grumbled as he reached for his wallet, searching for the desired note as a sigh of relief left the redhead when you started to walk hand in hand through the snow, finding somewhere else to finally build the snowman.
***
Humming to yourself, you found yourself in Wanda's room again, this time sprawled out of her bed, waiting for the witch to return with the snacks for the movie night she planned for you. It was going to be a Christmas marathon, starting with Home Alone one and two, then onto the Grinch so Wanda could tease you about your 'icon' and then finally Elf as she was sure you'd be asleep by then, having discovered how much you loved to lay in bed yesterday when you fell asleep during the first attempt at the marathon, much to her amusement. This time, however, she planned to keep you awake with food and potentially a cuddle as the two of you swiftly discovered how much you both craved physical touch, even if it was something small like holding hands, a smile growing on her lips as she enters the room, remembering the various instances of you subtly reaching for her hand and interlocking your fingers.
A soft chuckle leaves her lips at the way your head raises off the bed at the sound of the door shutting, your eyes growing curious when you see the bowl in her hands, instantly perking up and eager to know what she brought. When your eyes saw the popcorn in the bowl, your smile widened, moving around on her bed so that your back was against the pillow at the headboard, arm raising to welcome her body against your side, the other woman complying to your silent request.
The feeling of her body snuggling against yours caused a grin to break out on your face, your heart unable to comprehend the sheer joy you felt over the last few days, grateful for her making such an impact on your life.
"You're incredible," you murmur softly when she places the bowl into your lap, your lips pressing to her temple, the art of being affectionate with one another natural to you both.
"Are you only saying that because I brought food?" she teases, carefully picking up a piece of the sweet and salty treat and placing it into her mouth, her head tilting to rest against your shoulder as she uses her magic to bring the remote closer to you both, her hand effortlessly grabbing it and starting the first film of the night.
"No, I'm saying that because you are the most amazing and beautiful woman I know," you whisper against her hair, earning a blush at your charming words. "Who just happens to always bring me food," you add teasingly, earning a playful pinch to your side, a small yelp leaving you.
"Shhh, just watch the film Detka," she murmurs, your smile widening at the endearment, not commenting on it as she shuffles her body closer to you, her fingers playing with whatever part of your shirt she can reach as the two of you delve into the world of Christmas cinema, content with being one another.
As the film plays on, without even realising it, your hand rests on her thigh, tracing idle patterns against the thin fabric of her pyjama pants, Wanda's cheeks a similar colour to her festive clothing as her thoughts go down a sinful route. She can't help the warmth that pools between her thighs at your actions, your hand high up on her thigh as your toned body presses into her, her mind replaying the image of you working out earlier, the way your body effortlessly showed signs of strength and stamina, her eyes having a hard time from tearing away from your hands, watching as your veins showed slightly, further adding to the arousal that started to build within her as she got lost in thought.
Hesitantly, she tilted her head to rest at the crook of your neck, her lips softly pressing a kiss there as she knew you weren't paying attention to the film, your thoughts growing louder as you replay all your memories with the brunette, the overwhelming amount of happiness and love you felt allowing the witch to hear them. To try and gain your attention, she pressed another kiss to your neck, your breath hitching at the action as your hand freezes at her thigh, her lips burning against your skin as your body grows warmer at her suggestive move.
"Detka," she sighs out, her breath fanning across your skin as she pulls back from your neck, her green eyes meeting yours, desire but also nervousness shimmering them.
"Yes?" you whisper out, gaze subconsciously drifting to her lips, remembering how addictive they are, your own eyes darkening as your gaze lingers, unable to look at anything else.
"I don't think either of us are watching the film," her voice is barely audible as she murmurs the words, tilting her head slightly, the action causing her lips to inch closer to yours, the movement subtly seductive as you wait for her to make the move, sensing a bit of indecision from her.
"I don't think we are," your tone lowering a little, patiently waiting for her, not wanting her to do anything she'd regret.
"I wonder what else we could possibly do..." she trails off, smiling a little shyly, biting down on her lower lip and fuck, you don't think you've ever felt so hot before, the sight of her intoxicating, making it impossible to think straight.
"I have no idea," you whisper back with a small smirk, tilting your head down so that your lips were brushing over hers gently, not applying enough pressure to give her what she wanted, your eyes watching how hers flutter shut, awaiting your mouth. "What do you suggest?"
"I think... I think we should kiss," she rasps out, moving her body so that she was facing you properly, your brow raising a little at her words as your smile grows, fingers moving to brush back a few stray strands of her hair back, eventually letting your hand rest on her cheek, cupping her jaw and bringing her a little closer.
Your eyes flicker over all of her features, admiring them all while waiting for her to lower her face, the brunette only doing so marginally, mirroring your actions and wanting to memorise every inch of your beauty.
It feels like you're waiting an eternity until she lowers her face even more, her lips barely putting any pressure on yours as they briefly brush over them. Your eyes flutter close when you feel her hands cup your jaw, waiting for her to kiss you, to crash her lips to yours, to do anything at this point as you just wait, wait and wait.
When she feels like she's admired you enough and savoured the moment, she kisses you. She kisses you softly and tentatively to begin with as you explore each other's mouths, her actions soon growing a little more confident as the kiss grows hungrier, Wanda seemingly starved of you. It's intimate, it's desperate, it's passionate. It's everything you dreamed it to be.
You can't do anything but give into her relentless mouth, hand clutching at her sweater to ground yourself as all you can think of is her lips moving against yours, her body pressed up against yours, her soft fingers threading through your hair, just her.
A soft moan leaves her when you guide her to straddle your lap, heat immediately taking over her body, your touch burning into her skin as arousal pools between her legs at the feeling of your body pressed against hers, strong arms wrapping around her, a sensual sigh escaping you as when she pulls back from the kiss, eyes darkening with desire as you peer up into the green, a shameless smile on your lips.
"I think we should do that again," you tease, leaning in for another kiss as she smiles against you, her confidence growing with every kiss, every peck in between laboured breaths as her hands move to your shoulders momentarily, gliding them down your back in a seductive way, a groan leaving you at the way her fingers press into the toned muscle satisfyingly.
Experimentally, you slide your tongue into her mouth, a sinful moan escaping her as she welcomes your advances, your hands toying with the hem of her jumper, not sure how far she wanted to go as your mouths move lewdly together, her back arching a little to press her body further against yours.
"Am I going too fast?" Your voice a gentle whisper as you pull back from the kiss, sensing a little bit of nerves from her, eyes gauging her reaction as your fingers had slipped beneath her clothing, feeling the warmth and softness of her bare skin, her cheeks flushing a deep red as she meets your enamoured gaze, not wanting to pressure her.
"No I just-" she cuts herself off, feeling a little embarrassed as your hands slide out of her jumper, snaking around her waist and pulling her closer to rest against your body, bringing her in for a soft embrace that she appreciates. "I never done this before," she confesses, a soft smile appearing on your lips as you guide her head back so you can meet her timid green, "I want to but I just... don't know what I'm doing."
"Do you trust me?" you ask, mimicking her words from the ice skating, your fingers raising to brush back another stray strand of hair, tucking it behind her ear affectionately as she nods. "I'll take care of you, I promise," you whisper, kissing her lips with nothing but love, conveying how gentle you'd be with her. "We can stop at any time," you reassure her, not wanting her to think she's committed to having sex with you, "Just tell me to stop and we stop. I don't care what's happening, all I want is for you to feel safe and comfortable with me." She smiles shyly at your words, tilting her head to kiss you once again, grateful for how caring and considerate you were. "We'll go at your pace, ok?"
"Ok," she murmurs back, smiling into another tender kiss as you do as you said, letting her control the way her lips move against yours, slowly building the hunger back up.
"Tell me what you want," you sigh out against her lips, feeling her hips subtly rock against your lap without her even realising it, your teeth softly nipping at her lower lip, earning a small moan as she flutters her eyes back open, meeting your patient gaze.
"I want...I just want you," she whispers, holding the intimate gaze before leaning back in, kissing you with a new sense of urgency, a small moan leaving you at her words. Your lips pull into a small smile as she slides her tongue hesitantly into your mouth, the kiss turning messy and causing a wave of arousal to flood through, Wanda's mind spinning at the intoxicating way you make her feel.
"You have me," your tone laced with love as she rests her forehead against yours, lips lingering open against one another, simply relishing in the intimacy. "Show me what you want from me," you encourage, sliding your hands from around her lower back to hers, letting her take a hold of your hands to guide them where she wants them, your lips parting from hers to pepper kisses along her jaw softly, her head lolling to the side to welcome your addictive touch.
She simply holds your hands for a moment, deciding what she wants from you, her mind freezing momentarily at the way your teeth scrape against her sensitive skin, a pleasant shiver running down her back as she curses lowly in Sokovian, the sultry sound causing a throb between your thighs.
When she's ready, she squeezes your hands softly, guiding them down her body to the hem of her sweater, hoping you understand her silent request. Your fingers slide under tentatively, feeling the way her stomach tenses and relaxes at your touch, the skin impossibly soft and enticing, your mind reminding you to wait for her as you caress the skin you can reach.
"Please," she murmurs out, one of her hands moving to your hair, threading her fingers through your silky locks and softly pulling you away from her neck, her lips pressing to yours with a hint of desperation as she grinds her hips with a little more purpose now, a wave of pleasure coursing through her.
"Off?" you mutter against her lips questioningly, her nodding into a sensual kiss as your lips meet gently, her sighing into your mouth as your hands grip the hem of her sweater, slowly, teasingly, pulling it off her body.
Her hands move off you to help you pull the item of clothing off, your gaze remaining on her face as she turns shy again, waiting for another nod before letting your gaze drift down her body, your breath hitching at her sheer beauty.
Her body is sculpted to perfection, crafted by Aphrodite herself to create the most beautiful woman you'd ever lay your eyes on, her delicate and smooth skin enticing your eyes all over her exposed body, her curves luring your hands to caress them softly, eyes flickering back up to hers, nothing but admiration and love in them.
"Do you have any idea how beautiful you are?" you whisper into a passionate kiss, her nerves immediately dissipating at the sheer honesty lacing your tone, another blush creeping onto her face at how amazed you were by her. "Any idea what you do to me?" you continue, wrapping your arms around her body and pulling her closer to hers, her bra covered chest flush against your body as she moans into your mouth, her body begging for more, needing you to touch her lower.
"Please Y/n," she sighs into your mouth, your hands creeping up her body and resting just under her bra, fingers brushing over the skin, causing goosebumps to rise. "I need you," her tone conveying how desperate she was, your worshipping touch only driving her towards madness, her body viewing them as teasing.
"Where do you need me, love?" the endearment spilling from your lips naturally, a wave of arousal flowing through her at your slightly husky voice, your lips parting from hers once more to kiss down her neck, sucking partly before moving to kiss her shoulder and collarbones, waiting for an answer.
"Here," she sighs out softly, her fingers wrapping around one of your wrists and guiding it down to meet the waistband of her pyjama pants, your head instantly leaving her body to look at her properly, the green in her eyes usually filled with love completely replaced by desire and hunger.
"Are you sure?" Your voice is full of care as your hand remains where she guided you, gazing into hers as your heart beats wildly in your chest, still stunned a little by the sight of her on top of you, the heat between your thighs incessant.
"Yes," her voice a mere whisper as she kisses you softly, deciding she wouldn't want anyone else to be her first, always having loved you without even realising it.
"Remember we can stop whenever you need to," you murmur before claiming her lips with a newfound purpose, wanting to give her everything she wants, fingers carefully sliding under her waistband.
"Fuck," she whispers out, voice a little shaky as her hands move to your back once again, clutching onto your t-shirt as your fingers brush against her core through her soaked panties, a groan leaving you at how wet she was for you. She was this desperate for you.
You move the pad of your finger against the wet fabric, teasingly sliding it up and down her core, earning a small, desperate moan from her into your mouth, her teeth biting down on your lower lip impatiently as you continue to work her body up, her hips bucking against your hand at the slightest of touches.
"Can I-"
"Please," she practically whimpers out, your lips tugging up into a smirk whilst your free hand glides up and down her back soothingly, your fingers slowly sliding under the waistband of her panties, a sensual sigh escaping her when you finally make contact with her core. "Detka," she pants out against your lips as you swallow the desperate noises that leave her lips as your finger swipes through the abundance of arousal that's pooled between her thighs, coating your digit as you explore her wet sex.
Pulling back from the kiss, your eyes observe every single reaction to your touch she offered you, drinking it up like an intoxicating substance as your finger spreads her slick around her, moving to circle her clit gently to begin with, slowly building in confidence as your touch grows firmer, intending to bring her as much as possible.
"You're so pretty like this," you mumble, pressing hot, open-mouthed kisses down her neck, teeth scraping the soft skin again to drive her mad, your finger sliding up and down her soaking folds before settling on teasing her entrance, a whine leaving her at your enamoured tone and taunting actions.
"Detka," she sighs out, tone conveying the sheer desperation she feels for you, needing you to bring her towards her release, her body needing your touch to satisfy her.
"Shhh, I'll take care of you," you murmur, tilting your head away from her neck to let your lips brush against her compelling ones, her breath fanning across your face as her lips part, your finger slowly sliding into her, your eyes in awe of her blissed out expression. "Tell me what feels good," you encourage, slowly curling your finger inside her beautifully, a moan spilling from her lips directly into your mouth as you claim her lips softly, slowly letting your lips slot over hers, her mind hazy with all the pleasure and heat flowing through her.
"Shit, there, right there," she groans as you curl your finger against her weak spot, the palm of your hand brushing against her clit as she rocks her hips against you, fingers gripping your shirt tightly.
"Yeah?" you husk out and the slight cockiness to your tone has her mind spinning even more with arousal, delirium taking over her as she moans against you once more, your name falling from her lips like a small chant as you thrust your finger in her a little faster, pleasure bubbling through her. "What if I do this?" your voice a teasing whisper, your thumb moving to brush over her clit, a choked moan escaping her as you move it in languid circles, doubling the pleasure fogging her mind.
"Y/n," she pants against you, the corner of your lips tugging up into a smirk at her desperate tone, the way her walls clench and spasm around you, her thighs tensing around your body as her hips buck harder when you time your movements right, a sudden wave of pleasure flowing through her. "Fuck," she sighs out sensually, parting your mouths as she's struggling to reciprocate the kiss, too busy focussing on the way you effortlessly slide in another finger, stretching her out perfectly.
"You're doing so well for me," you whisper, mouth moving to the shell of her ear and tone dropping, a slight rasp added to your voice further arouse her. One of her hands shoot up into your hair, messily tangling it into your locks as moans escape her, her hips trying to move a little faster and push her towards her nearing release, fingers gripping tightly making a dull pain wash over you, the action making you groan as the idea of how lost in pleasure she must be goes straight between your thighs.
"Detka," she sighs out, desperation and a hint of embarrassment lacing her tone, too nervous to ask you for what she wants as her hips indicate how close she is, your fingers still steadily thrusting into her and thumb occasionally brushing her clit, hips bucking harder against you. You immediately understand what she's asking for as she gently tugs your head back, lips pressing against yours passionately as she holds you close, back arching further into your body as she sighs into your mouth, a small whine escaping her as she teeters on the edge of her release.
"I've got you," you murmur gently, your free hand moving up her body and to her face, cupping her cheek intimately and deepening the kiss, a moan leaving her at the sheer amount of love you pour into the embrace. "Let go for me," you mumble between kisses, her eyes squeezed shut as pleasure threatens to take over her.
"Y/n," she whispers out sinfully for a final time, body tensing against yours while your mouths refuse to part, muffling the desperate sounds leaving her lips while pleasure wracks through her body. Her legs tense around your body once more, her hands adamant on keeping you close as she keeps your head against hers, foreheads resting against one another as you slow the kisses down, pecking her lips in between laboured breaths. Your fingers slowed inside her, letting her walls clench and spasm around you as she rode out the last waves of her release, her body eventually relaxing in your lap and melting against your comforting body.
Your gentle breath caressed her lips as she eventually opened your eyes, timidly smiling at you and claiming your lips once more in an innocent manner, her adorable expression causing you to reciprocate the action as your free hand moves to glide up and down her back soothingly, fingers pulling out of her when she was ready.
"I'm so proud of you," you whisper with nothing but honesty and care in your words, her cheeks blushing at the way you tenderly gaze at her, her fingers moving to fix your ruffled hair. She smiles at you softly as she tucks a few strands behind your ear, your lips meeting her cheek lovingly as she just wants to bask in the intimate moment for a little longer, the two of you simply locked in a lovers embrace as your arm snakes around her middle.
Many soft words and gentle whispers later, you had managed to convince her into going to the bathroom to get cleaned up, not wanting her to be uncomfortable later and also wash your hands quickly, the brunette blushing at the cocky smirk on your lips as she watches you, proud of yourself for being able to make her feel good and most importantly loved and safe. You let her find herself a new pair of underwear and some new pyjama pants, opting for the pair she first came to you in before searching for a new shirt to wear.
Once she had opted for an old shirt with her favourite sitcom on it, you offered her your hoodie you took off earlier, the jumper being an oversized fit which you knew she loved, Wanda taking it with a wide smile, unable to stop the butterflies in her stomach at how caring you were. She let her nose rest against the collar of it, able to smell your perfume on it as you wrapped your arms around her waist from behind, dramatically falling onto the bed with her in your arms, eliciting an even bigger smile from her and a nose scrunch.
She turned around in your arms so she was facing you as you pulled her body impossibly closer, smiling fondly at the sight of her in your clothes, her leg sliding in between yours to find a more comfortable position to cuddle in as your fingers drew idle patterns against her back.
"Thank you for being so gentle," she whispers a little shyly, your gaze softening more somehow as she moves her fingers to play with the baby hairs at the back of your neck.
"I'll always be gentle with you," you murmur, kissing her temple and letting your lips linger for a minute, building the courage to say what you wanted to. "Thank you for the last week, I've really enjoyed spending time with you," you say, still trying to get to the three words you wanted to confess, her smile growing a little wider at your soft tone.
"Have I convinced you to love Christmas?" she asks curiously, the intimate gaze prolonged as you once again get lost in her eyes, smiling tenderly at her, thinking of how to phrase your words.
"I don't quite love Christmas yet," you whisper out, your words still giving her hope. "But, I...I know I love you," you confess, your heart beating wildly in your chest for the few seconds she doesn't reply, the way her nose scrunches once again in that adorable manner easing the worry of rejection.
"I love you too," she whispers back with fondness lacing her tone, her lips meeting yours once again for an intimate kiss as you can't help but grin into the kiss, a teasing comment finding its way to your lips.
"More than Christmas?" you whisper, earning a soft laugh from her as she moves her face to hide at the crook of your neck, your skin so warm and comfortable, lulling her into a relaxed state.
"More than Christmas," she chuckles out, wrapping her arms around your middle securely, your arms mirroring the action as your lips press a final kiss to the top of her head, the witch amazed at how you, a grinch, managed to steal her heart. 
1K notes · View notes
plussizefantasia · 4 months
Text
Don't Cry Over Spilled Lemonade
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Anthony Bridgerton x f!reader
Word Count: 1.6k
Warnings: None that I can think of, this is kinda angsty tho
A/N: Surprise post IG I wrote this in my notes app because I couldn't sleep so if there are spelling or grammar issues I'm sorry. let me know if you want a part two because I wouldn't mind continuing this.
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Anthony adored how close you were to his siblings. You had become a close family friend ever since you defended Daphne against some creep at her first-ever ball out in society, it was your second season and you had taken it upon yourself to keep an eye on the diamond, looking out for her quietly in the background.
You weren’t going to intervene at all, just offer her some advice woman to woman if the need arose but when you saw Baron Taylor grab the redhead by the wrist you couldn’t hold back.
Anthony himself was only seconds away from coming to his sister's aid when you ‘accidently’ tripped into the man spilling your glass of lemonade down the front of his vest. 
“Perhaps my Lord if we kept our hands to ourselves certain… interventions might’ve not had to happen. Don’t you think?” When Anthony had seen your raised eyebrow and defensive posture all aimed at the scumbag who dared lay a hand on his baby sister he couldn’t help but fall a little bit in love right then and there. Not that he’d ever admit it to himself or anyone else for that matter.
A day later Daphne had invited you to tea at their family house in order to thank you for the rescue and potentially make a new friend and ally within the marriage mart.
Ever since that day, you’d been a regular in his home, but you were never there for him as much as he’d have liked you to be. No, you were always there for one of his siblings. You were there to talk with Daphne, first about her counting of the duke and then slowly transitioning into how she felt about being a married woman and then a mother. He could also find you sketching in silence next to Benedict, the two of you after attending to draw the same scene and then critiquing each other's work when you were done. You would trade books and ideas with Eloise, listen to Fran play the piano while working on your embroidery, and the scenes which would warm his heart the most, you’d come around to chase after Greg and Hyancith playing with them in the gardens and keeping a watchful eye to make sure they stayed safe. 
Anthony adored how close you were to his siblings, and he loathed how much of a distance there seemed to be between the two of you. 
You were cold to the Viscount, you had been since the evening you came to Daphne’s rescue, he had attempted to give you his thanks and you had simply excused yourself, “My apologies my Lord but I seem to be down a glass of lemonade presently and I find myself to be quite parched, excuse me.” Your tone was cold and Anthony spent the rest of that night and the next two years trying to figure out what he possibly couldn’t done to make you so icy towards him.
“I do not understand it Ben, she is so kind and lovely to the rest of you but is like a stone wall when it comes to me, what could I be missing?”
“Perhaps she just doesn’t like you brother have you ever thought of that?” Benedict was too preoccupied with this still life to deal with his older brothers pining at the moment. 
“That is not possible, I’ve done nothing but be the perfect gentleman to her.” 
“Anthony I have no idea why dear Y/N does not like you but what exactly will you whining in my studio do about that?” 
“I resent that. I am not whining I am simply asking my dearest brother for his advice on a matter I care very much about. I thought that was what brothers were for.”
“You want my advice, Anthony? Think. Think long and hard about what you want and how you’ll get it because Y/N has no patience for wishy-washy men.”
“That is horrible advice, Ben.”
“When then perhaps you can find better advice from your other brothers. Which will it be Anthony, the one who has been blindly in love with his best friend for years, or the ten-year-old?” 
“I hate it when you’re right.”
“I know. Now leave, that storm cloud above your head is casting shadows on my fruit.” Ben pointed his paintbrush at the bowl of fruit balanced atop a stool. Anthony huffed and knowing that it would bother his brother, he grabbed the apple off the top of the pile and took a bite of it as he strode out of the room
Ben had told him to think, but Anthony didn’t know what to think about. He knew that he craved your attention. He knew that he enjoyed seeing you around his house, interacting with the people whom he loves. He enjoyed hearing your witty comebacks and the way that even if you were not doing anything in particular you still fill the space you’re in.
He wanted her in his life, and if he was being completely honest with himself he wanted more than that. 
It’s during his musing that he runs into her in the hallway, you have a book clutched within your hand, and your head is held high. You don’t stop your stride even though he knows that you saw him. He bites his lip and tampers down a smirk. Add another thing to that list of things he likes about you, you have fire, he just wished that it wasn’t always aimed at him.
“Lady, L/N which one of my dear siblings are you spending your day with today?” He attempts to match his pace with yours catching up to you so that the two of you walk shoulder and shoulder.
“Actually, Lord Bridgerton, I was having tea with your mother this afternoon she invited me over so we could discuss what to do about Frannie’s debut next season.”
This was not something that normal family friends do, you know that and he knows that. His sibling’s entrances into society are a matter which the viscountess must handle, something his mother has had to continue to do because of his lack of a wife. 
“That was very kind of you to help her with.”
“Well, she doesn’t have anyone else to help her.” Your words cut him down, not for the first time. 
“Lady L/N may I be frank?”
“It is your home, you may do as you please.” You turn to face him, your face a mask of indifference. 
“What have I done to cross you, for the longest time I have known you you have been cold to me and I do not understand why?” 
“I had figured that you did not remember, either that or you had purposely forgone trying to speak with me about it.”
“About what?” 
“Our first meeting My Lord.” 
“I remember our first meeting very clearly, it is one of my fondest memories seeing you stand up for Daphne and ruin Lord Taylor’s vest.” He tilts his head to the side and smiles at the memory.
“That was not the first time we met My Lord, the first time we met you snubbed me in front of the entire ton and sparked rumors that did not leave me until two seasons later.” She was harsh in her words and the tightness in her shoulder’s belayed her desire to flee.
Anthony was speechless, surely he had not? He would’ve remembered her, would’ve remembered turning down one of the most beautiful women he had ever met, intentionally or otherwise. 
“I- I beg your deepest forgiveness Y/N I do not remember and if I had I would’ve tried to make it up to you tenfold by now.”
Your eyes began to gloss over and you looked at the wall beside his head, “It was my first season out, Lady Danbury’s ball, and I had seen you standing there surrounded by other gentleman. I had thought you a very fine figure and despite the rumor mill telling me you were nothing but a rake I had tried to begin a conversation. All you did was turn to me and laugh. I wasn’t asked to dance for the entire rest of that season and it was only until my Mother forced the son of one of her garden party friends to dance with me was that streak broken. You were the first and only man I had ever attempted to pursue and you laughed in my face. Were it not for my deep need to help those I see in need I would never have talked to you or any member of the Bridgerton family for the rest of my life.”
“You must know that I regret that, I regret everything I have ever done to hurt you and I will spend the rest of my days working for your forgiveness.” If Anthony was a weaker man he would’ve fallen to his knees and begged for your forgiveness until his last breath, right there in the hallways of his family’s home.
“I appreciate your words Anthony, but that’s all they are… words. I am unmarried, one year from becoming a spinster in the eyes of the entire ton, and you, you are the only one I can blame.” You don’t wait for his reply, just stalking off and wiping the tears from your eyes.
Anthony resolved himself in that moment. He would do whatever it took to make it up to you, to bring a smile to your face, and to cast away the hurt he had caused.
Part 2
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inuyashaluver · 7 months
Note
Are we getting any Ona x reader Childhood sweetheart??
mi media naranja (my better half) - ona batlle
ona batlle x reader
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description: in which you and your childhood friend watch each other grow up, going through different partners, life stages and miraculously ending up in a surprising result
warnings: it’s a long one - buckle up!! catalan in bold italics, mentions of cheating and tears
a/n: hiya, lovey! i hope you don’t mind that i tweaked this into a childhood friends to lovers situation, i really hope you enjoy❤️
⋆ ★ ⋆ ★ ⋆ ★ ⋆ ★ ⋆
you and your best friend, ona, were the epitome of inseperable. your special bond was formed by years of shared laughter, inside jokes, secrets and late night conversations that stood the test of time.
you and ona knew each other better than anyone, the years of being best friends proving soulmates existed.
at first you both believed it was platonic soulmates but as the seasons and years went by, so did your dynamic, unbeknownst to either of you at the time.
it began through the subtle shift in stolen glances and unspoken words and conversations lingering in the air, something felt different for both of you.
little did you both know, the journey and progression from being best friends formed the very foundation of your relationship in the present.
[ 7 years old ]
it all started in school, a young ona experimentally kicking a football to a lonely you to test out the waters during lunch break.
in the beginning, you were incredibly shy, finding it hard to make friends at the time. her kindness made your heart warm and when you kicked the ball back, you both knew the other would be in your lives forever.
she came up to you and managed to get you to open up, she was pleasantly surprised to find out that you were quite chatty when you talked about something you were interested in. she loved it.
she’d listen to your words intently, each word engraving new lore about you in her mind, making an effort to remember as much about you as she could.
“one day, we’re gonna play together for spain and bring home a gold medal” ona promises, nudging your shoulder with hers as you both sat next to each other on the grass.
you laugh and nudge her back, nodding and holding your pinky up, she smiled cheekily and interlocked her own with yours, a promise you both intended to keep.
everyday at school, you and ona grew closer. your families were so happy with the fact that you’d made a friend so close, both of you at each other’s houses every other day. it just felt right for the both of you and everyone around you.
[ 12 years old ]
you and ona were joined at the hip, not even an exaggeration, you were never apart. you and ona had promised each other that wherever the other would go, you would follow in suit.
it was a non verbal promise but something that was just understood between the two of you.
you and ona had been scouted in your local club to join the youth barcelona team, both of you squealing and jumping around on her bed when you both discussed the situation. however, promptly scolded by ona’s mum that had you both in a fit of giggles.
because the two of you played together so often, each other’s playing styles were very much adapted into your own.
ona was a defender while you played in the midfield, the two of you always linking up to score a goal or an assist.
you both didn’t even need to look at each other to know where to pass or aim, the presence of one another being enough to score goals that had people impressed by your performances.
you and ona thrived in the barcelona team, labelled a dynamic duo by not only your coaches and teammates, but the spectators also.
wordless communication and care were the foundations of your friendship. the needs and requirements for the other person just feeling like common sense.
“you didn’t rub it in properly” ona laughs, pointing at the streaks on sunscreen left on the skin of your face.
“in case you didn’t notice, onita, i don’t exactly have a mirror” you grumble, attempting to rub the rest of the sunscreen but missing completely, making the brunette laugh even more.
“oh, preciosa (precious)” she teases, roughly rubbing the remnants into your skin causing you to groan and attempt to push her away.
“done” she cheeses out, giving your cheek a light pat before you shove her away jokingly. “you suck,” you stick your tongue out at her and she immediately returns the gesture, making you both give each other challenging glares before giggling with each other.
“my house or yours?” ona grins, passing you your water after training. “mhm, let’s go to yours” you smile back at her, she nods and you both chat as normal.
as soon as you got to ona’s, she gave you some of her clothes to change into and you immediately called your family to let them know you’re here and they already knew you’d ask to stay over so they agreed instantly.
you throw ona a thumbs up as she watches you converse on the phone and she pumps her fist in celebration, making you giggle before ending the call.
[ 17 years old ]
this was a difficult time for the both of you, it was when you both started exploring the dating world with other people.
ona got into a relationship first with this random girl, she was super nice at first, but when ona would spend time with you, she would get into insane arguments with her, her girlfriend claiming ona cared more about you than her.
and because it was her first girlfriend, she pulled back from you and you only really saw each other at training, and even then, the communication was limited.
you were heartbroken to say the least, losing your best friend over a girl, you decided to give ona a taste of her own medicine and began dating this girl you thought was really nice.
she treated you well, like a princess honestly, you were giddy and all round happier and ona, from a distance was happy for you.
she’d broken up with her girlfriend and she didn’t, well..couldn’t tell you since she rarely saw you. she regretted the whole relationship, it was toxic and manipulative and she wished she never ditched you for her.
but you were happy again and she would never jeopardise that for you. the only thing ona wanted for you was an endless amount of happiness, getting all the love that you deserved.
it was until you found out your girlfriend had cheated on you, coincidentally with ona’s ex that everything fell back into place.
with tears pooling in your eyes, you knocked on the door of the batlle residence with anxiety overtaking your entire body.
ona opened the door with a worried and confused expression, looking down at your kicked puppy expression that was ready to break down at any moment.
“nena? (babe)” she breathes out, a sob escapes from the back of your throat and you rush to wrap your arms around her neck, pressing your face into her collarbone as your body wracked with a heart wrenching sob.
she immediately holds you around your waist, rubbing comforting circles over the shirt you were wearing, saying nothing but just holding you close.
she tries to pull away to look at you but you shake your head and hold her tighter, she frowns at the sounds of your crying, lifting you up by your thighs and hoisting you up on her waist.
she hurriedly closes the door and rushes to her room, sitting on the edge of the bed as you cried into her arms. she whispers sweet words in your ear as you pressed into her.
you hug for a couple of minutes until you pull away, wiping your tears away with the back of your hands as you looked down at her,
“i didn’t know where else to go” you sniff, your nose red and your voice slightly congested. she frowns at you, using the pad of her finger to wipe away the tear rolling down your cheek.
“you came to the right place, this is your home too, i’ve missed you so much” she says softly, making a few more tears leave your eyes while she chokes back on her own. it felt like so much time but no time had passed as you explained the situation.
ona was pissed, making an effort the next day to give both of your now ex girlfriends a piece of her mind.
that’s when you both decided to take a break with dating, focusing on yourselves, football and each other. everything was back to normal and you were both incredibly relieved.
[ 18 - 21 years old ]
as the years went by, you and ona only grew closer, you noticed the shift in your dynamic. the lingering stares and touching blurring the line between platonic and romantic.
you tried to think nothing of it, ona was always incredibly affectionate and if anything she was just being friendly.
if only you knew how this girl really felt about you. in love was an understatement but she didn’t and couldn’t say anything, respecting you more than anyone in the world.
she wouldn’t want to risk losing you, her best friend, her soulmate.
it didn’t really help that you both followed each other to every club, barcelona, madrid, levante and even making the big jump to manchester united.
the best friend duo left an imprint on every club you both went to, proving to be unstoppable in every league.
you were both so in tune and synchronised, ona even managed to assist you in a hat trick at manchester united, claiming it to be one of her proudest moments.
she’d hoist you up on her waist in celebration as she kisses your cheek repeatedly as the girls surrounded you in celebration. “mi niña (my girl)” she grins up at you.
you kiss her forehead in appreciation and couldn’t help but grow a little warm at the pet name, as well as the way she was looking at you as if you were the reason the run had risen in the morning. (she truly believed this)
sure you both got asked over the years if the two of you were dating and it slightly hurt to shut it down.
you received numerous questioning expressions when you’d say, “no, we’re best friends” but the two of you chose to ignore. you both didn’t like each other like that. (silly)
[ 24 years old ]
it was until you both decided to return home that everything took a turn. your comeback to barcelona as the dynamic duo had been highly anticipated ever since the transfer rumours came out. and when the contracts were finalised and you and ona were promoted together, it went viral.
falling back into the team with new and old teammates was fluid, and exciting. you both felt good about the whole situation, excited for the new chapter ahead.
ona had partnered up with aitana for training because alexia had dragged you away as soon as she could.
“you like her” she teased, your eyes widen and you give her a little slap on the shoulder, “no, i don’t” you grit out, making your captain laugh brightly.
“please don’t tell me you’re this stupid, have you seen how that girl looks at you?” she scoffs, “heart eyes, makes me feel sick” she mocks, you can’t help the little smile hinting at your lips and alexia smiles satisfied.
she prys the details from you and you surprisingly complied. alexia helped you realised that you’ve liked ona for a while, just never coming to terms with it.
you felt lighter after all of it was off your shoulders, thanking alexia for slapping some sense into you.
she humbly accepted as long as she was the maid of honour at your wedding, making you swear on your life that it would happen.
ona had also been in her own conversation with aitana. being one of your teammates for years as well as a close friend, she knew ona liked you, she always has.
she would beg ona to confess, knowing that you liked her back because it was just obvious to anyone with a pulse. she’d always shut down the thoughts quickly. but this time, she actually listened to aitana.
“ona, that girl is in love with you and if she isn’t, you can slap me in the face” aitana speaks with her hands, making ona follow the movements as she spoke.
“you’d actually let me slap you in the face?” ona laughs, aitana gives her a stern expression and ona stops, glancing your way to see you laughing with alexia. she smiles at your bright smile, making aitana shake her head and whisking she had her phone to capture the moment.
it was a team bonding session at alexia’s house, a dinner, movie, drinks type of situation. ona and you lived together, like always, so ona drove you both over. alexia opened the door with a hopeful smile but faltered slightly at the two of you just being friends when you gave her that little look of disappointment.
she gives you a longer hug than ona and it makes her slightly suspicious, she knew you and alexia were like sisters but she couldn’t help the funny feeling bubbling in her stomach.
she’d glare slightly whenever you and alexia would interact and it made alexia laugh, knowing that tomorrow you’d come to training with a girlfriend.
when you got in the car and saw ona gripping the steering wheel so tight her knuckles turned pale, you glance at her in worry.
“are you okay?” you ask nervously, she looks over at you for a split second before looking back in front. “i’m fine” she says flatly, oh you were in for it.
the rest of the drive was intense and quiet. the tension was unbearable. when you both made it home, ona bolted to her room and slammed the door shut, making you wince. you gave her about an hour to cool off before you cautiously knocked on her door.
“ona?” you say softly, you open the door to see her on her bed just scrolling on her phone, she instinctively moves over so you lie down next to her, staring up at the ceiling as she refuses to look at you.
“have i done something wrong?” you break the silence, ona sighs heavily, “no” she breathes out, turning in her side to face you and prompting you to do the same.
“do you like alexia?” she asks softly, you gawk at her in shock, “what? no!” you exclaim, ona’s cheeks burn a little, looking down to see your hand resting on the bed close to hers.
“why? are you worried?” you tease, ona bores her eyes into yours, “and if i was?” she says full of confidence, your mouth falls open slightly, just blinking as you looked at her in surprise.
both of you are pink cheeked with wide pupils, resembling a full moon. “what do you mean?” you utter, “nenita (babe) you know what i mean” ona says hopefully, you pause for a moment before nodding, your bodies subconsciously moving closer to one another like a magnetic field.
“te amo (i love you)” you say confidently, making the girl in front of you break out into a bright smile, “te amo (i love you)” she parrots, you break out into your own wide smile.
you look at each other lovingly for a moment before ona brings a hand up to cup your face, she glances down at your lips and you inhale eagerly, making her chuckle before she pulled you into a searing kiss.
time seemed to pause at this moment, just the warmth of your breaths and lips mingling unfolding like a gentle melody.
your lips moved tenderly with each other, unlocking the years of whispered promises of love you both never knew you were hoping for. your tongues explored each others mouths and it all felt two familiar, you were soulmates after all.
in that shared moment, the line between friendship and romance faded completely, leaving behind the gentle lull of your now joined heartbeats, the start of forever for the both of you.
when you both walked into training the next day with ona’s hand in the small of your back and a gentle kiss to your temple, the room erupted into cheers.
alexia and aitana exchange a high five, a couple of the girls exchanging money making you both laugh brightly at some of the disappointed but happy expressions in the room.
when you both went to the world cup and managed to win through a goal from you, ona proclaimed your love then and there, unable to hold it in anymore.
when she pulled you into a loving kiss after that final whistle blew, it was a special moment for tje both of you. especially since you were both fulfilling that promise of bringing home that gold medal.
you and ona’s friendship stood as a witness to the growth and transformation for the both of you. standing as a testament of love that began with the simplicity of a girl kicking a football to you because she thought you looked lonely, forming into a profound and everlasting connection.
⋆ ★ ⋆ ★ ⋆ ★ ⋆ ★ ⋆
you know the drill, just pretend it’s you!!
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ona.batlle: mi media naranja (my better half)
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yourname: mi onita xx
yourname: mi media naranja (my better half)
↳ ona.batlle: pretty baby
alexiaputellas: you two would be NOTHING without me
↳ aitanabonmati: and me!!
↳ ona.batlle: all you two did was make fun of us
↳ alexiaputellas: worked though, didn’t it?
↳ ona.batlle: …….
↳ yourname: she said thank you!
context!! - mi media naranja: the literal translation is 'to find your half orange. ' when an orange is cut in half, the two halves match each other perfectly, but no other orange half is likely to fit so closely’ essentially meaning - your better half, your soulmate
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Text
You Call It Madness But I Call It Love
Chapter 24: What The Past Held
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Pairing: Soldier Boy x f!reader, Reader POV
Summary: When the reader left Payback 40 years ago after a falling out with her childhood best friend she never looked back, but when two men show up to her apartment and start asking her questions about the past, the reader begins to think those things can’t stay hidden and starts to question what’s real and what’s fantasy.  This is a re-telling of The Boys Season 3, where the reader is a supe who's known Soldier Boy since 1927. The chapters will fluctuate between past and present. This is chapter twenty four of my "You Call It Madness But I Call It Love" series. (I'm so bad at summaries please forgive me!)
Word Count: 6.3K
Warnings:  Angst, Cursing, Sexual References, Family Problems, Past Trauma, Death Mentioned, Drinking. Soldier Boy might be, is, really, absolutely, completely a little OOC. Soldier Boy is really all you need as a warning.
Note: This is told from the Reader's perspective. Any references to the reader is made using you or your. There is minimal use of y/n. I tried my best to proofread, but nobody's perfect. Reader is described as "curvy" occasionally. If you don’t like, don’t read, but if you do like, you’re my favorite!
Internal Monologue is in first person and is in italics
Series Masterlist
Masterlist
*************************************
Steam from the two coffee mugs sitting on the kitchen table between Rosemary and you tangle and twist in the air like two dragons locking claws in the morning sun.
Sitting there, staring at your daughter felt odd.
You trace her face with your eyes noting the cinnamon colored freckles, the greenish-hazel eyes, the soft curve of her jaw, the almost unnoticeable traces of wave in her dark hair, and stop on her nose. It's the same face that'd you'd looked into the past forty years and yet you don't recognize her.
A memory of holding her when you first gave birth flashes through your mind. You remember the promises you whispered to her when you held her in your arms for the first time, looking down into her little face, with her small hand clutching the tip of your finger while she slept. One was the same promise that Ben made to you the night you chose him, the words all too familiar as you spoke them to the small infant in your arms. Promising to protect her, be strong for her, but now you felt like you failed, because you hadn't been able to keep her safe from Vought.
After all these years, it was just a lie.
Ben was sitting to your right, his hand holding on to yours resting gently on top of your thigh. He wasn’t drinking coffee. Ice floated quietly in the glass of scotch on the table in front of him, the condensation dripping down the outside of the cup to form a ring beneath, but he hadn’t touched it since the three of you had sat down a few moments ago. The morning sun was seeping through, casting an amber glow upon the worn wooden grains of the kitchen table, but you feel no warmth from it's rays.
Rosemary had fought to talk to you alone, told Ben to leave, but you refused to speak to her without him there. You didn’t give a fuck anymore about that, didn’t care if she hated Ben or didn’t want to be around him anymore. You wanted him around and he was going to be here whether she liked it or not, she might as well get used to it.
Lou was in the living room playing Go Fish with Hughie. You could hear her giggles, the almost silent shuffle of cards in her small hands, and the slap of cards against the all glass coffee table two rooms away. When Ben and you had come up from the basement this morning she had practically tackled you she was so happy. You were thankful that Ben had kept her away when you began to spiral. You didn't want her to see you like that. It hadn't been that bad since Ben died, when the pit opened beneath your feet and you all too willingly fell into the darkness.
Funny how the person who sent you into the darkness all those years ago would be the one to light the beacon that brought you back home. It made you more thankful that Ben was here for you.
You knew that it probably hadn’t been easy for him to see you like that and probably went against his internal struggle to push people away for him to care for you like he did. But for you it solidified that Ben loved you and cared for you as much as he said he did when he came back to you.
It meant more to you that he would ever know, just knowing that he would take care of you, would be strong for you the way he promised all those years ago. You had seen bits and pieces of that side of him over the years, but the other day was different. It snagged hard on something deep in your ribcage and refused to budge, understanding that Ben was here to stay, and you'd never be without him again was more wonderful than you could have imagined.
It made you feel once again like the little girl who clung to him when Ben crawled into her bedroom window and begged her not to marry Howard, reminded you once again that you were still important to Ben, and that all the time you spent over the years together was not a waste.
You didn't regret a single second, even if it had ended up the same way that it had, even if everything with Countess still happened, you didn't regret your life.
Butcher and Legend were in his office talking in hushed whispers as if they could hide it from you. You didn’t like it, didn't like the idea that they were scheming something and trying to hide it behind locked doors. The truth was, you weren't focused on them. The only thing you were focused on was the looming conversation between you and Rosemary that seemed to grow more and more until it was the size of the empire state building. The same conversation that you were about to have.
Her legs are crossed beneath the table, frown pulling at her bow-like lips, as she looks from Ben to you trying to think of a way to start the conversation. You'd already told Ben what Stan Edgar told you, but you still wanted him here for this. He had been curious as to why you wouldn't speak to her when you started your descent into the darkness, and you weren't going to lie to him about that.
"Why did you do it?" The words come out calm, you're anything but. You can't fight the war of disappointment and silent rage swirling beneath your skin. You hated that she did this, that she gave a piece of herself to Vought and didn't think to tell you.
You had found out that your daughter had been lying to you for ten years on the same day you found out that Dr. Vogelbaum had stolen your genetic material. You knew that you weren't going to be the same ever again.
Rosemary sits for another moment, eyes flicking to Ben. It's another silent jab at the fact that she doesn't want him here, but you squeeze his hand tighter to tell him you do.
"He approached me." She says finally.
"Who?"
"Stan Edgar."
"When?"
"Five years ago." Her arms tighten where they are crossed over her chest.
"Five years?" You hesitate confused.
Stan told me that he knew that Rosemary was Ben's daughter the moment he saw her ten years ago, but why five years?
"Yes." She nods once as if she's confirming it to herself.
"And you didn't think to tell me?"
"You were so happy, you were doing better than you ever had and I-" Rosemary sighs heavily. "I didn't want to ruin that."
"I don't give a fuck if I was happy! Stan Edgar coming to you and asking you for-" You begin to snap, losing your temper, but Ben squeezes your hand to remind you to calm down.
"He wasn't asking." Rosemary's eyes darken, and you see a sliver of the mask slip for just a moment and you see her rage.
"What do you mean?"
"It was Charlie." She all but spits out the name.
At the mention of Rosemary's husband's name you pause. It was the first time you'd ever heard her say his name like that. You'd believed that she and Charlie had a perfect marriage, and to learn that it was his fault that everything with Vought starting was jarring. You didn't understand why he would matter in any of this. He wasn't a supe and he had died weeks after Lou was born.
Ben looks from Rosemary to you in confusion, eyebrows furrowed. He knew the story of Rosemary's husband, but didn't know his name.
"What does your husband have to do with any of this?" You say it mostly to clarify for Ben.
Rosemary reaches across the table and takes Ben's glass of scotch, knocking it back in one gulp, but the darkness does not fade from her eyes. "Do you remember the day I met him?"
You did. It was autumn, a few weeks after Rosemary and you moved back to the city for the first time, ten years ago. The leaves were changing into marvelous flashes of red, orange, and yellow, and there was just a hint of winter in the wind. Rosemary and you had moved into the apartment you were still living in, and Rosemary had just gotten her job at the hospital.
She loved it. All the long hours, the helping people, and the dealing with crazy patients.  But the day she met Charlie was different. It was her day off and she was sunning herself on a park bench while drinking an iced coffee and reading one of those paperbacks she loved so much when a handsome stranger had stopped and started talking about the book with her, telling her how much he loved it and suggesting another few books she should read.
Rosemary had floated into the apartment. It was the first time in years that you had seen her so genuinely happy that it made you happy. She'd had a few relationships in the past, but none that made her sparkle like those ten minutes she spent with a stranger on a park bench.
She didn't see him again until a week later, reading one of the books he had suggested while sitting on the same bench and this time he sat with her. Rosemary asked him if he wanted to go get coffee. Their coffee date had turned into a mid-day movie, that turned into dinner and then she finally stumbled into the apartment at 2 am after she and Charlie had closed the restaurant, disrupting a late night painting session that you were doing because sleep never seemed to come. You could see how smitten she was. It brought you comfort to know that she had found someone that made her feel the same way that Ben made you feel the night he made love to you.
Apart of you had been afraid, because Rosemary was a supe and Charlie wasn't. She wouldn't die, wouldn't grow old, but he would. You didn't want to see your daughter go through something like that, to live in a world where she lost someone that meant everything to her.
It was a feeling that you knew all too well.
"I was so stupid." She mutters, before she waves her hand and the whiskey bottle hidden under the sink comes shooting out like a bat out of hell. She pours herself another glass of whiskey in the cup she'd emptied moments ago.
"What are you talking about?" You ask her, still mildly confused.
"Charlie." Rosemary all but spits his name. "I was so stupid. I should have asked more questions, should have waited, but I-" Her voice sticks.
"What about Charlie?"
"He was working for Vought." She takes a long drag from the glass she just poured while your entire world goes upside down all over again.
"What? How? Why?" If you'd been drinking anything, you would have done a spit take.
"I should have questioned it. The moment we move back into the city I meet the perfect man?" She snarls, lips pulling back to bear perfectly straight teeth. "In the five years we were married, Charlie was obsessed with having a child. Said that he wanted to start a family early, said that he wanted to be a father. I kept telling him that I wasn’t ready, but finally I gave in.”
No. That can't be true, Charlie was-
Rosemary hadn't told him who you really were until after they got married, didn't tell her the truth about who she was. You remember how much she agonized over it, how afraid she was to tell him that she was a supe and that she was the daughter of a famous hero. She hadn't told him the true nature of your powers, just told her who you really were. But then it hits you like a bolt of lightning and you remember, Charlie had taken it calmly, only been thrown for a few days, but snapped back as if nothing happened. If anything he acted like he loved her even more that she trusted him with something so important. You remembered being surprised about him being okay with it after so little time.
That son of a bitch.
"When Stan first approached me five years later I was pregnant with Lou." Rosemary continues. "It was too late. Charlie had gotten what he wanted. They knew I would be easier to manipulate if I was pregnant, that I wouldn’t be willing to harm the baby by hurting them. Stan said that they just wanted my blood and he’d leave us alone, all of us. I didn't know about Charlie then. He'd convinced me to do it, said that it would only upset you, said that it was the only way to keep you happy.” She drinks from the glass, frowning as the ice clink against the glass. "He knew how much that I cared about you. How much I wanted to give you a rest after everything that you'd been through. So I did it."
Rosemary's eyes flick to Ben for a moment as she says that last part, a silent jab at him that you catch.
"I told Charlie everything about the two of you, about me-" She says it quietly, pouring the amber liquid into the empty glass. It splashes against the sides as she brings it back up to her mouth. "I thought he loved me, but it was all just a big fucking lie.”
Ben reaches across the table, taking the bottle from where it sits, and takes a sip from it. You could tell that he was getting as mad as Rosemary was. He might not have known Charlie or been in Rosemary’s life, but you knew deep down Ben still felt the need to take care of her. Before he puts it down you gesture with your free hand and he hands it to you, because you needed it to process this and coffee wasn't going to do it. When you drink you don't taste it at all, all you can think about is Charlie.
He had always seemed nice, accepting, laughed easily, and you liked how Rosemary was around him, lighter somehow. If this was true, it meant that he had gotten past you, gotten past the background checks that you ran, gotten past you following him trying to figure out what kind of man he was, and it meant that you had failed to protect Rosemary.
“I found out a few weeks after Lou was born about Charlie. At first I thought he was having an affair, the long hours at the office, the weird phone calls in the middle of the night- but no. It was Stan. Charlie was watching me, updating Stan on the baby. One night I woke up and he wasn't in bed, and I found him standing over Lou's crib holding a vial of her blood." Her teeth clench together. "And that's when he told me."
"Told you what?"
"Lou is a supe."
The words ring around in your head, bringing a wave of anxiety, horror, and fear. It started deep down, bubbling up from below like a witches cauldron until it rises and splashes over the brim.
"What?" You sputter.
"Charlie was a supe and it was his power. He could sense the powers of other supes, knew how powerful they would be before their gifts developed. And he said that Lou would be more powerful than any of us."
"Did he say what it would be?" Ben asks.
"No." Rosemary shakes her head. "Just that when it manifested she would be extraordinary. More powerful than any supe that had ever walked the earth. Even Homelander. And that’s why Vogelbaum and Stan Edgar wanted her.”
You take another sip from the bottle trying to digest her words. Your greatest fear was coming true, any aspect of Lou ever having a normal life was evaporating before your very eyes. That meant you couldn't send her to school, couldn't trust anyone to watch her, not without believing that they were working for Vought and had ulterior motives for watching her. Now it was terrifying to think that the babysitters you had for Lou in the past had done things to her without you knowing.
The thought that someone had done something to Lou without you knowing made you livid.
"He said that Vogelbaum was willing to pay, to give us enough money to start over, to have another child, all we had to do was give Lou to him and we could really be happy. Charlie said that you were too controlling, that this was the only way we could break free from you." Rosemary seethes. "Charlie didn't care about Lou, all he wanted was the money. I’m sure that if I hadn’t woken up he would have taken her and run. Sold his own child. But when I caught him, he thought that if he turned me against you that he could manipulate me into doing whatever he said. Just like he had manipulated me all those years by telling me he loved me."
You watch her haunted expression flip into something darker, something triumphant. You'd seen it before on Soldier Boy's face when he put someone in their place, when Ben was riding high from a good interview or a sparring session when he beat someone into submission. A small tickle of fear began to creep down your spine, cold, like a droplet of rain that raced down your back from under your collar in a thunderstorm.
"I smiled at him, told him everything he wanted to hear as I brought him close, and then I ripped his head off." She leans back in her chair with a shrug, the ice cubes clinking against the glass sides of the cup in her hand. "For such a little bitch he sure did make a mess, but the real mess was trying to cover it up."
You remember the night she showed up on your doorstep toting a sobbing Lou in her arms, the night that Charlie died, when she told you the police called and said that he drowned in his car when it went over a bridge. You remember the look in her eyes days later, hollow, like she was haunted by something otherworldly. And you realize that the haunted look wasn't that Charlie had died, that it was she had killed him after she found out that Charlie was prepared to hand over his own child for a small fortune.
In hindsight that also would have made you kill Charlie. Finding out that he used your daughter to make a child for Vought was about as bad as learning that they stole your genetic material to make Homelander. It was the same idea as the perversion of your body, except this time Vought had hired someone to purposely pretend to love her all because they wanted another supe from your bloodline.
It made you feel sick to your stomach, knowing that Rosemary had to endure that and she never said anything to you.
"But the car-" You say to steady the torrent of anger and nausea beginning to build up in your chest.
"Necessary casualty. Put the body in his car, drove it over a bridge, put him in the front seat, did some artful contortions with the hood of the car to make it look like his head was cut off then and there." She sighs.
"You drove it over a bridge, how did you survive that?" Ben asks her, his hand still clasped in your own. You could feel some heat beginning to build under his skin and you hoped that he wasn't about to go nuclear.
"I didn't, but y/n had come over earlier that day to see how I was doing and I touched her so I didn't have to worry about dying."
The silence that follows her confession is deafening. You don't know what to say, don't know what to do, so you just sit there staring at the woman you thought you knew, trying to find some familiarity, but you can't.
“And you didn’t think to tell me any of this?" You say, a little bit heartbroken that she kept something like this from you for all these years.
“It was my business.” She downs the rest of the amber liquid in her glass.
“What the fuck do you mean it was your business?! It’s our family-“
“It was my daughter!” She snaps. “My husband!”
You stare at her, eyes wide, mouth open in shock. You’d never seen this side of Rosemary before, and it scared you.
She exhales a breath. “It was my mess. And I needed to clean it up. Charlie was my mistake.” Her expression shifts to something else, something small and broken.
“He tricked both of us.” You whisper. “It’s not your fault. What Vought did- what Charlie did to you it-"
“It was.” You could hear the emotion building in her voice. “I was the one who was stupid. I was the one who let him in, told him everything about us. I needed to fix it.”
You sit there for a moment because you’re not sure what to say. Learning that Charlie was practically a sleeper cell in your lives was more than just surprising. It was heartbreaking. Because it meant that Vought had won, that they had infiltrated your lives after all these years, that they were still watching, still controlling things behind the scenes.
"Mom." She says tentatively. "I didn't enjoy killing him. I'm not a monster. I-" You can see your daughter again. "I did it because he was going to take Lou, that he had been lying to both of us all those years. And I didn't want Vought to take her away. I didn’t want to lose her.”
"I know. I just-" You take in a deep breath to cleanse whatever sins you think are still hanging in the air. “It’s a lot to take in.” You understood why she did it, understood that you would have done the same thing.
Hell, I have done the same thing. You think to yourself remembering what happened with Stan a few days ago.
"I wish you had told me sooner. I wish you hadn't kept this from me all these years." You sigh.
"I know. I know I should have, but I couldn't. You were really painting again, selling your art, and you were so happy and carefree not worrying about anything and I didn't want to change that. I'm sorry-"
"I know you're sorry, but I don't care if I was happy or you thought I was happy. I would rather know the truth and know what was going on than live completely in the dark. What Charlie did to you-"
"I know." She looks down at her lap in shame and you see the Rosemary you know come back into focus. "I wanted to protect you." Rosemary raises her head to meet your gaze again. "You always do that for me and I-" Tears begin to form. "I just wanted to do that for you."
"Oh honey." You reach across the kitchen table and squeeze her hand, fighting tears of your own. "I'm sorry you felt that way. You're my daughter, I'm supposed to protect you-"
And you hadn't. You'd allowed Vought to do something to her, to mess with her life, to take something so precious and pervert it, and attempt to take a piece of her the way they stole a piece of you.
"But what about you?" The tears began to roll down her cheeks. "All you do is care about me and Lou, it's always been about us, but who's going to take care of you?"
"I am." Ben says it before you can answer, coupling it with a squeeze to your hand that still rests on top of your thigh. Your heart feels like it's going to melt, seep through flesh and bone until you're nothing more than just a puddle of what you used to be.
It was so honest, so completely unlike the man who used to be Soldier Boy that you finally felt the memories of who that man was beginning to fade and leaving you behind with the boy you fell in love with all those years ago. The boy who you'd seen every day since Ben came back.
Rosemary glances at Ben, her expression hardening.
"Look, I know you think that I'm going to leave, that I'm going to fuck up and hurt her again." Ben says, his voice strong. "But I'm not. I don't know how long it's going to take you to trust me, but I love your mother, and I regret the things I did to her every day." For a moment you think you hear something on the edge of his voice, it thickens with emotion for just a second, and you're sure that Rosemary didn't notice because she didn't know Ben as well as you did and she didn't know how hard it was for him to admit something like that. "I promise that I'm going to protect her and take care of her for the rest of my life, because nothing else matters to me the way she does."
The urge to cry lodges itself in the back of your throat as you release Ben's hand and raise it to his face, gently tracing his bearded cheeks with your fingertips. You didn't think that it was possible to love someone this much, to care about someone and wish to have someone this much. You remember all the years before this when you were children, when you wished for it to be this way, but you never imagined that it would be anything like this. To be wholly entangled with someone who completely understood, saw your flaws, saw you at your worst, and still wished to love you.
But you were and you never wanted it to stop.
"I love you too Ben." You whisper, and Ben raises his hand to hold your wrist, keeping your hand pressed against his face. Your other hand was still holding on to Rosemary's, and you knew she was watching the two of you, but you didn't care. You refused to ever let Ben feel like you didn't or feel like no one did. It had been your job for so many years, protecting him, taking care of him the way he always took care of you and it was the job you'd never quit.
Rosemary sighs and wipes her face with the back of her free hand. "Well, if you're going to be around more you might as well know, he was right about Lou."
"You've seen her powers?" Your eyes widen as you turn to look at her, dropping your hand from Ben's face to take his again so it's resting on your thigh once more.
"No, but when I killed Charlie I understood." She presses her lips into a thin line releasing your hand. "Before when I touched him I didn't know how to unlock it, how to use the power so I never noticed how it worked, but when I killed him I realized something about me."
"What do you mean you realized something about you?" Ben asks.
"When I touch someone I get their powers for 24 hours, but when I kill them-" She inhales. "I keep their powers." 
"You WHAT?" Your hand tightens so much in Ben's that you hear an audible crack.
Ben clears his throat. "Softer Sweetheart." He murmurs and you loosen your grip enough for Ben to flex his hand.
If you weren't so shocked at the news you would have teased Ben about it, but now definitely wasn't the time. 
"Why didn't you know that?" You stutter.
"I'd never killed anyone before so I couldn't exactly test the theory out!" She shouts back. "But it's true. My powers are almost the complete opposite of yours."
"Holy fucking shit-" You mutter to yourself closing your eyes for a minute. You'd known that Rosemary was powerful, but this was almost overwhelming.
She could have any power, relatively limitless power and all she has to do is kill another supe.
But so could you. A little voice whispers in the back of your head. The memory of the day that Rosemary stabbed you with a knife by accident and killed you comes rising from the darkness in the back of your mind. She killed me… which means if I kill a supe I get their powers too. This day keeps getting better and better.
"So when you look at Lou what exactly do you see?" Ben asks her with a frown.
"If I concentrate, it's almost like she glows."
"She glows?" Ben clears his throat not quite understanding.
"Yes. For other supes it's not obvious, it's more of a shimmer. For Ben or you or me it's a lot stronger, but when I look at her and concentrate, it's like looking at the sun. Like there's liquid fire that rolls through her veins."
"But she hasn't shown any powers at all?" You say looking at Rosemary, trying to see if she would lie to you about this.
"No. None. It's not through touch, because she's touched me, you, and Ben and she hasn't shown any powers. And if she inherited anything else from either of us I don't know how to test it out. You have to die to get powers and I have to kill someone and I don't want either of those things to happen to my child so-"
"That's probably for the best."
"Yeah."
"This is bad." You murmur sitting back in your chair. "And I thought that it really couldn't get any worse, but here we go."
"What do you mean?" Rosemary squints in confusion.
"They used your blood to make Temp V. That shit that Hughie and Butcher have been shooting up for the past few days, but now I'm worried that they did more with it than Stan told me."
"It's blood. What else would they do?"
"I don't know." You bite the inside of your cheek. "I mean I don't think it's enough genetic material to make a child or anything like that but-"
"A what?!" Rosemary chokes on a sip of her coffee. "Why would they do that?"
You open your mouth to speak, but no sound comes out. You wanted to tell her about Homelander, tell her everything that Stan said. You could feel it on the tip of your tongue, but you couldn't say it.
"Homelander." Ben says slowly, understanding exactly what was happening to you. His thumb strokes against the smooth skin on the back of your hand.
"What about him?" Rosemary looks from Ben to you still confused.
"They took genetic material from me and y/n. And they made Homelander."
"WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?" Rosemary shouts, and this time her coffee cup busts in her hand sending coffee raining down over the table. "You mean they-" Her eyes flick to you with rage, horror, and shock swirling behind her eyes.
"Ben donated his." You clear your throat. "But Vogelbaum didn't wait for me to accept the offer."
Rosemary rises from the table so fast in your head you think she developed the ability to fly. And before you can ask her what she's doing she grabs you and holds you so tight that you'd be worried she'd snap your spine if she could. "Mom I'm so sorry. That's inhuman." She pulls back to look at you. "They shouldn't have done that to you. Treated you like that."
The urge to cry was back, this time coupled with the fleeting memory of what Vogelbaum did flashing through your mind like strobe lights. It had haunted you last night in your dreams, but when you woke up in Ben's arms it had vanished away.
"No they shouldn't have." Ben growls.
"You didn't stop them?" She looks at him, still hugging you, but you can feel her anger. "You let them do that to her?"
"I didn't fucking know they did that shit!" Ben snarls the words, the room heating slightly as he begins to get angry at Rosemary's accusation.
"They did it when Ben wasn't there. He was shooting a film overseas. Stan said that I wasn't supposed to remember and that they were too afraid of what Ben would do to them if they tried to do it with him in town."
Rosemary relaxes. "The nightmares?"
"Yeah."
"I should have killed them all when they started coming for Lou. Shouldn’t have stopped with just Charlie.” She spits.
"I would have gone with you to do it if I knew." You half-smile even though it doesn't really seem to be the type of thing to smile about.
"I would have too, if I was here." You hear Ben mutter under his breath.
"But it’s the same way they treated you with Charlie. Vought used you-" You begin to say to Rosemary.
"I agreed to it-" She interrupts.
"No." Your arms tighten around your daughter. "No you didn't. You didn't agree to marry a psychopath who forced you to have a child with him."
"But-"
"No." You can hear your voice hardening with emotion. You were trying to contain the anger and fury that was almost radiating out from your body. "What Vought did to you was just as bad as what they did to me. They used you, Charlie used you. That is not your fault."
"I should have known better. I should have asked more questions, shouldn't have let him in so easily, but I-" Her shoulders slump a little.
"Sweetie." You stroke her cheek lovingly, looking into her green eyes. They were dim, rimmed with red, and wet. It broke your heart to see her this way, to see her look so small, when the Rosemary you knew inhabited such a large persona. It made you want to resurrect Charlie from the great beyond and then send him there all over again. "This is not your fault. Sometimes you can't help who you fall in love with and you fell in love with the lie of who Charlie was, the man that he pretended to be. It's easy to fall, but when love becomes a burden it's hard to carry." You could feel a lump of emotion forming in the back of your throat.
With Ben it had felt that way sometimes, well, at least when you were younger it felt that way. When you watched him with so many women over the years and it felt like you were dragging your heart behind you as you witnessed it. When it ached each night Ben would crawl into bed with you and act like the boy you used to know, when you weren't sure he still existed. Now it didn't feel that way, because you knew and understood that Ben loved you wholly and completely, just the way that you had loved him for so long.
"And it shouldn't ever be a burden or something you should be ashamed of."  You continue, pulling her in tight for a hug, one of your hands fitting on the back of her head while she leans into your shoulder. You could feel the wet trail of her tears through your shirt. "Falling in love is never a shameful thing, the only shameful thing is those who try to take it selfishly from you without giving anything in return. Love isn't prideful or selfish. And the pieces of yourself you give to someone else when you love them should be shared and should be molded with their own to become something wonderful and beautiful. This isn't your fault and I don't want you to carry this with you. Okay?"
"Thank you mom." She whispers and you hold her all the more tighter against you, trying not to cry yourself. You hated what Vought had done to her, that they had taken something that should be sweet and turned it sour, something warm and turned it frigid, and something caring into something selfish.
Ben made eye contact with you over Rosemary's shoulder and you could see an emotion reflected there that you'd seen the night he came to your apartment with Butcher and Hughie.
Guilt was bubbling up all over again, the guilt that you hadn't seen this coming or tried harder to ensure that Charlie didn't insert himself into Rosemary's life and the guilt that you had allowed him to break her. It was the first time that you had ever seen her look so broken and it reminded you of the way Ben looked when he finally confessed his love for you days ago.
"So what do we do now?" Rosemary asks. She pulls back from you, wiping her eyes with her shirt sleeve.
"I have no idea." You sigh, brushing away the last of her tears with your thumb. "Homelander's a monster. Butcher wants him dead and maybe… Maybe that's on us to carry it out."
“Or maybe-“ Rosemary stops for a moment. “Maybe we should run.”
“Run?” Ben scoffs.
“Yeah. Just get out of here before it’s too late. Change our names. Go somewhere Vought can’t find us.” She continues. “I can work anywhere mom, so can you. And I guess Ben can figure out what he’ll do for a job.” Rosemary shrugs glancing at him where he still sits at the table with the almost empty bottle in front of him. “We could keep an eye on Lou, not worry about someone coming to take her away.”
You consider what she says for a moment and then you remember what Stan told you, remember the rage, remember the horror, and remember what it was like to make him pay.  The truth was you knew that there wasn’t any running or any way to hide. You knew that as long as Vought was still Vought, they would come for Lou or Rosemary or even Ben. You didn’t want to live that way, with one eye over your shoulder always prepared to hide.
You’d hidden long enough.
“If that’s what you want to do sweetheart we can.” Ben touches your arm and you know he’s addressing you.
“No.” You set your jaw and make eye contact with Ben. He’s looking at you expectantly, waiting to hear what you’re going to say. “I’m tired of running. And it’s time that Vought pays for what they’ve done."
*************************************
A/N: A lot of secrets revealed in this chapter, but I promise I think I have finally figured out exactly where I want this to go. Which is great... but now the hard part is finding the motivation to write. 😭
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bimrwolf · 2 years
Text
Healing Hands by the Fire
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geralt of rivia x afab!reader words: 3,684 warnings: smut !! 18+ (minors dni) ; squint and you may see a casual plot summary: Geralt visits Reader, a healer, with severe injuries. a/n: very out of my comfort zone. however, i promised my friend to write this as her christmas present because writing fanfics are my love language. good thing i know basic things about the witcher heheehe.
How did she always end up here? Months without a word or seeing him. She had accepted the peace. Only occasionally did she perk up when there was a knock on her door, secretly hoping it was him. But only one could be so lucky. Instead, it was travelers from all over the Continent who heard word of her abilities.
She couldn’t complain. Healing others in exchange for seeds, food, and sometimes money. Not that it was required for her service but she couldn’t complain about the gratuity.
In fact, she enjoyed helping others. However, it was nearing winter and there were less travelers. They were most likely home to prepare for the violent winter storms that damned the Continent. 
It was one of the first snow falls of the season. She had finished feeding the chickens and her horse Atticus. That was always her nighttime routine. Feed the animals, make some tea, study until all the tea is drunk, and finally get ready for bed. 
Some might think the routine would get tiring, but there was never any guarantee. It was the one consistent thing in her life at the moment. She was content. 
However, some nights, she heard the enchanted chimes outside that let her know someone was approaching. But before she made it to the door, it swung open, snow flurries drifted inside. The cold was sharp and pricked her nose, making her sniffle. 
In most cases she would be alarmed. There was no telling what creatures or people were harmless and which ones weren’t. She clutched the nearest thing to her— a broom that always gave her splinters when she used it. 
His snow white hair peeked from under his hood and she recognized the distinct low grumble that could be mistaken as a quake. He slowly closed the door, ensuring it was locked this time. “You startled me.” She said, releasing her grip from the broom, checking her hand for any loose wood. 
“You should keep the door locked. What if I was a dangerous man breaking in?” She played it off as a joke, not seeing the concerned look on his face. 
“Some might say you are dangerous.” She smirked. She never expected him to react to her jokes, but she could feel the warmth blanket around her when his shoulders relaxed. “Are you going to stand there all night?” 
He limped further into the cabin. She could see the snow melting on his cloak, dripping on her floor. “You made a mess,” she huffed. 
His head lifted and cat-like eyes met hers. It was known his abilities and job forced him to lack showing how he felt. But, she noticed right away how his eyes drooped that he was in pain. 
She ran towards him, immediately untying his cloak so that it dropped to the floor. She gasped at the large claw marks scratched into his chest. He could withstand most injuries but the cuts had broken past the many layers of skin. 
“Fuck, Geralt. What happened?” Her finger ghosted over the wound on his shoulder. Almost immediately he grabbed her wrist. But she didn’t pull away. 
“I’m starving.” He took a moment to look her up and down before letting go of her wrist and walking past her. 
Unbelievable. She scoffed and followed him into her den. “Are you serious? Geralt, you’re hurt and need to be healed before you get an infection.” 
“I smell meat pie. Do you have any to spare?” He left no time for her to answer. He grabbed the plate on a table and began to shove them in his mouth. He groaned in satisfaction. 
She wanted to be annoyed, but she had never seen him act this way. So instead she watched as he stuffed his face. He sat down slowly in a wooden chair. His large body mass made it creak, rocking it with the sound of the crackling fire. His spastic breathing mellowed out into a deep sigh.
He was definitely hurting from his wound but there was something else. She could sense that something was bothering him. Yet, she didn’t pry for an explanation. Instead, she let him watch the fire as she gathered her supplies of elixirs and jars. Then she picked up the pot full of water hanging above the fire and poured it into a bowl. The steam warmed her face that was still cold from earlier. 
“Are you still hungry? I think I only have bread.” She sat her things on the table next to him, but not looking in his direction. However, she could feel his piercing eyes watching her every single move. “If you’re not feeling like bread I can stay up and make you soup.” 
His hand flew to her wrist. She jumped, nearly knocking over a bottle with green shiny liquid. She turned her head slightly, sighing deeply. “It hurts,” Geralt mumbled. 
His wound was red, inflamed, and looked worse in the light. And if Geralt says it hurts then it was worse than she had imagined. “Take your tunic off while I prepare.” Although it was her giving the instruction, she couldn’t help the heat on her cheeks arise. Especially when he did what he was told. She had only seen his bare chest a handful of times, but each time made her stomach knot up. 
He took a heavy breath as he settled back into the chair, wincing when she placed a hot cloth on his open wound. His nails dug into the chair. His teeth clenched as he threw his head back. She couldn’t help but giggle. In return, he snapped his head to look at her, visibly annoyed. “What?” 
She swatted him for the rash reaction. “No need to be hot headed, Geralt. I was only laughing because I’ve never seen you act so dramatic.” 
“I’m not being dramatic,” he argued. He winced again when the cloth touched his skin once more. He rolled his eyes when he noticed the smirk she tried to hide from him, her hair covered her face. Not thinking, he took his finger and pushed it out of the way so he could see her more clearly. 
She tried to ignore the knot in her stomach or how her chest was breathing differently. She even tried to look away subtly but the only thing she could look at without being suspicious was his bare chest. “How’s Yennefer?” 
The change of subject was almost as if she had poured salt into his fresh wounds. He yanked his hand away and turned his head to face the fire, jaw ticked. She should’ve felt guilty for bringing up his on and off lover. Instead, she felt relieved his attention was no longer on her and probably wouldn’t be the rest of the night. 
That’s how it always went. He would get too close and right before she fell under his spell she would mention the other woman. She had only met the sorceress once. They neither liked or disliked one another. Yet, she could tell there would not be any attempts to go frollicking in a field like they were the best of friends. 
In some ways, she had been jealous of Yennefer– she was interesting and traveled the Continent and had fought in many wars. She was beautiful and cunning. Of course Geralt would pick her as a lover. 
“Ow.” Geralt grimaced, shifting in the chair. Her fingers were touching the wounds, and spreading them apart. “Are you about done? I’m tired.” 
She continued to inspect his wounds closely, having to push between his legs to get a closer look. “I have to ensure there are no severe damages so I know what to make.” His huff made her roll her eyes. She wanted to swat him for still acting like a child. “Whatever got you, got you good, eh?” 
He looked away then back at her, swallowing. “Yes, I suppose.” 
There was a beat of silence. Only the fire was popping. 
“I thought I was goin’ to die.” He said out loud in a low whisper. Almost like he didn’t want her to hear him.
She stopped briefly to look up at him. He was serious. “Well, fortunately whatever it was missed your heart by a hair.” She pointed to where his heart was and traced a line to the start of one of the scratches only millimeters away. She got up, leaving him with a witty smile as she started to pour the many different potions into a different bowl. 
“Me and Yennefer haven’t spoken in months,” he admitted. 
It was hard not to react, but she had never seen him willingly talk about the woman before. “Oh.” 
“We wanted different things I suppose,” he continued. “If it weren’t for Ciri’s letters, then I wouldn’t even know if she was still alive.” 
“You miss her?” It was meant to sound like a question, but it came across as a statement. 
He looked down at his hands, ashamed. “I’m not sure if I’m allowed to miss someone.” 
“Are you not allowed or are you unsure you know what it’s supposed to feel like?” 
He didn’t answer. 
She walked back and found her place again between his legs. “Missing someone feels like always looking at the door when there’s a knock, and your heart skips a beat, hoping it’s them.” She dipped her finger in the cream she had made and started to apply it to the open wound. 
“I don’t live in a cottage with a door.” His hands creeped to his thighs so they brushed her as she moved. 
She finished with the first cut and moved onto the second, which was much deeper and longer. “Well, missing someone can also feel like wanting to cry even when you’re happy.” 
“You do know I have emotions?” He quizzed her. 
She smirked. “Of course I do. I was only trying to help you figure out if you miss Yennefer.” 
He hummed, running a finger over the first wound she had treated which was starting to already heal. His skin attaching itself together again. “I miss her, but not in the way you think I do.” 
“Then in what way?” She raised her brow, clearly confused as to what he meant. 
He didn’t answer her right away. “Not in the way I miss you.” 
The bowl in her hand nearly clattered to the floor. She froze, replaying the words over and over as if she hadn’t heard him. Did Geralt really admit to missing her? No, he doesn’t actually mean it. He was messing with her. “That’s not funny.” Her breath was shaky. In fact, her hands were shaky too as she tried to continue healing him. 
“Did I make a joke?” His tone was unwavering. He placed his hand on her warm cheek, brushing his thumb over her soft flesh. He had never touched her so intimately like he was now. 
She shook her head, using her free hand to brush him away, focusing on the rest of his injuries. “You’ve lost a lot of blood. You’re delusional.” 
“I thought your potions helped with that?” 
Her eyes flickered up to meet his, briefly, before averting them back to the bowl. She swooped the last of the cream on her finger and spread it slowly over the last scratch. The others had closed up but one could make out the red scar. “Those will go away in due time,” she mumbled. 
As she tried to get up he caught her arm, standing up with her, and in doing so their chests were against one another. He could feel her heavy breathing. And she could feel the warmth from his body electrifying hers. 
“I should go make your bed. You need to rest.” She tried to walk away but his grip never left her arm. “Geralt.” 
He took the bowl from her hands and placed it back on the table. “How much longer will you deny it?” 
She swallowed the gasp that had almost escaped her, shaking her head. “What do you mean?” Finally, she had pulled away but made no efforts to leave the room, only stepping back to make space between them. And of course he could probably read her like an open book while she only had his stoic expressions to decipher. He opened his mouth, but closed it, sighing loudly. “Thank you, Y/n.” 
Her face softened. 
“I don’t… I don’t know what I would’ve done if it weren’t for you. In fact, I don’t know what I would do without you.” His jaw slacked, watching her intensely. 
She could feel the pull, like a magnet, all too familiar when it came to Geralt. Normally, she had to ignore it. But at that moment, it felt like a boiling pot of water, steaming and bubbling, unable to contain itself. And as she looked into his piercing eyes, the knot in her stomach told her it was time to say something. “Geralt.” Her voice was above a whisper. “I have something to tell you.”
“Yes?” His expression never faltered. 
She shifted her feet, uncomfortable. “I… I um… I’m making oat porridge in the morning.” She had decided it was best to hold back what she really wanted to say. “I’ll go prepare your room.” 
His yellow eyes narrowed, searching for hers. She knew he was watching the emotions swirl through her mind. She knew that he knew that wasn’t what she really wanted to say to him. “No.” He was assertive and the growled vibrations dragged along her back like a dagger, giving her chills. 
Ignoring the goosebumps along her arms, she ran her hand over her face. “What do you want me to say?” She felt like a twig that had snapped. “Why are you being mean? You stand there forcing a confession out of me. A confession you will never get because there’s nothing to say.” Her tears burned in the corner of her eyes. She hated how foolish she looked in front of him. Crying and blubbering because he decided to dig deeper. 
They had a routine. He would knock on the door and she would heal his wounds. Their deep conversations were rare, and sometimes he wouldn’t speak at all. Sometimes he would leave in the morning without a word. So why must this time be any different than the others? 
“You’re angry.” 
She scoffed. “Yes, I’m angry.” Unable to face him, she turned to look at the fireplace, shaking her head. “That’s the most frustrating part of all of this. I’m angry that you’re here. I’m angry that I don’t see you for months with no word if you’re even alive. I’m angry that you show up when I’m missing you the most.” Her eyes caught his, her nostrils flared. She had had enough of it, storming up to him and putting a finger against his bare chest. “I’m angry that you sit there and touch me and talk to me like we’re lovers. I’m angry that you won’t go to someone else for help. Because I can’t do it anymore, Geralt. I can’t do it.” 
And there it was. Years worth of bubbling water, spilling over the pot and all over the floor. She had made a mess that she wasn’t sure if she would be able to clean up. 
Geralt’s jaw ticked, his eyes scanning her face. “You wish to not see me anymore? Would that be easier?” 
Her finger fell slowly from his chest. Her voice trembled. “It’s easier than caring about you.” 
Geralt brought his hand up slowly to her cheek, brushing his knuckle against a tear. “I am angry at you too,” he whispered. Her brows furrowed, unsure what he meant. “I told you I have feelings too. Yet, you assume I don’t. You assume I don’t care about you either.”
She swallowed the lump in her throat. “Do you?” 
“Why do you think I keep coming back?” His jaw slacked. 
The tension between them was thick and palpable. She wasn’t sure what else there was to say. Her heart was torn. Even with the confession, there was no guarantee. He was a Witcher with responsibilities that were not suitable for the life she wanted. She pushed it away, cracking a smile. “Are you saying that you got injured on purpose? So you could see me?” 
“Perhaps.” The corner of his mouth flickered, leaning his head down towards her. 
“You could’ve died.” She stepped closer to him, tracing her finger of his scars, looking at his lips.
“But I didn’t.” He said against her mouth, finally closing the gap between them. 
He wrapped his arms around her, strong and sure, deepening the kiss. It was gentle but fierce, full of longing and tension that had been built up along the years. It tasted like all the warm tea she had made for him over time. 
When she moaned, Geralt took the opportunity to slip his tongue in her mouth, gliding it tenderly and carefully against hers, groaning in satisfaction. He somehow managed to pull her closer as if their bodies weren’t already meshed together.
It was her who broke away first, both of them gasping for air, chests heaving from the heavy kiss. Geralt’s eyes had turned black, his senses heightened, craving more. 
Without a word, she unbuttoned her blouse, freeing her chest as she dropped it to the floor. She kissed Geralt again on the mouth, his neck, and then his chest. She whispered in his ear, “I think I should go prepare your room now.” 
He nodded, allowing her to take his hand to lead him to her room, rather than the room up in the attic that her guests normally stayed in. It was full of knick knacks and books scattered. Her bed was unmade, but neither one of them cared. 
She pushed him on the bed, straddling his lap, peppering kisses all over his chest. If she was smart, she would savor all of it– every kiss and touch. But fuck all of it. She had waited too long to savor it.  She grinded herself against his hardness, smiling against his ear when she felt him jump through his trousers. Something had told her it was too long for him too. 
The rest of their clothes had found a new place on the floor of her bedroom. She was now laying down, Geralt hovered over her, his chain dangled over her face, and his hands roamed over her bare body as she whimpered under his touch. His lips attacked her neck, trailing down her body, relishing every inch. 
“Geralt,” she mewled. 
She felt the vibrations of his chuckle, revitalizing her, the warmth between her legs now ached. “Yes?” He came back towards her mouth, placing a life-wrecking kiss on it. 
She nibbled his bottom lip. “You know.” 
“Mm, I don’t think I do,” he teased. His hand was between her legs, fingers gliding, taunting her. 
She thrusted her hips upwards, forcing friction against her swollen clit, gasping when he slid a finger in her. “I need you.”
The pitiful look in her eyes convinced him enough to give her what she wanted. And because any longer, he felt like he would combust. Geralt pushed her legs apart and then guided his girthy length to her entrance, sliding it in slowly. 
She gasped as he sunk deeper inside her, finally able to marvel all of her. It was sweet like the honey she snuck in his tea. Rich like the pastries she packed in his knapsack whenever he left in the mornings, without saying goodbye because he was afraid he would never leave if he saw her golden smile in the mornings. Yet, he wasn’t strong enough to never come back. 
At first, his thrusts were slow and tender, slipping so deep that his tip reached as far as it could. She gripped his shoulders, nails forming crescents, back arching as he picked up the pace. She wanted to hug him with her thighs, but his hands were sure to keep them open and spread for him. 
The sounds of their sticky skin crashing together blended with their moans and grunts, forming a delectable melody. She pulled him into an open-mouth sloppy kiss, humming. The bed rattled beneath them, his pace was dangerously close to cracking the frame. 
In a swift move, he pulled her up, so that she was straddling him. Their bare chests flushed together, her face in the crook of his neck, whimpering as she bounced on his cock. “I’m… fuck,” she breathed, unable to make the words as it hit her sweet spot. 
“Me too.” He slightly pushed her shoulders back, wanting to see her. His palm cradled her face, swallowing the thickness stuck in his throat. He knew he looked destroyed. He didn’t show how he felt often, but the pent up tension over the year had finally arisen. 
“G…Geralt!” She shouted as her walls closed around him, releasing her orgasm around him, resting her forehead on his chest as he continued to move her up and down. She clutched onto him as if she was about to float away. 
He threw his head back as his cock twitched, finishing, He thrusted through his climax, panting as he slowed to a halt. His senses were still high and could hear the fire still crackling in the den. He could feel her breathing still rugged and hot, sticking to his chest. 
She couldn’t see it but Geralt let a small smile briefly appear as he stroked her bare back. He placed a kiss on the top of her head. She looked up at him, running her fingers through his snow-white hair. “Will you stay one more night?” 
He tilted his head, brows knitted together. “Are you still angry with me?” 
A mischievous glimmer crossed her eyes. “If I am, does that mean you’ll stay?” 
He snickered, placing a peck on her lips, lingering, scared if he were to break away she’d disappear. 
Angry or not, he was going to stay one more night.
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lvnleah · 2 months
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001. | last game
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find the series masterlist here!
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May 27th 2023.
It was a bittersweet day. It was the last game of the 22/23 season in the WSL and Leah was out injured with her ACL and had been for the past month.
You watched on from the east stand with your wife, Leah, and her family at Meadow Park as the whistle blew for a final time this season. You and Leah gathered your things before making your way down to the pitch.
Leah joined the girls as they all formed a guard of honour for who was leaving the club. You watched on as Rafa said her goodbyes and the club presented Jordan with a framed shirt for her time at Arsenal as well.
Leah walked round the pitch to the best of her ability with the other girls, clapping and thanking the fans for attending while you and her family made your way onto the pitch. You were with Leah’s mum, Amanda, who you’d grown extremely close to in the four years you’d been with Leah.
You’d met Leah at sixteen at an England camp and out of the pair of you, Leah was the only one who went professional in football. You stopped playing when you turned eighteen because it didn’t feel right and ended up owning a small bakery.
You watched as Leah slowly walked around the pitch. She’d torn her ACL just over a month ago now and had recently had surgery a few weeks ago so her walking still wasn’t the best. You could tell that not being able to be on the pitch was killing her.
Leah finished applauding the fans before making her way over to you and her Mum, “Hey love, you alright?” Leah asked you, pecking your lips.
You nodded as she pulled you into a hug, “Yeah how are you?”
“Knees a bit sore,” she laughed, “Is it alright if we stick around for a bit?”
You nodded, “Yeah of course.”
You and Leah wandered around the pitch, hand in hand, as you said your hellos to different people and teammates. Everyone had their family and friends on the pitch, a few young kids ran around.
“Leah!” A little voice sounded. You looked down and saw a little girl, Kim’s niece, tapping Leah on the leg. Her little blonde curls bounced around on her head as she wore a mini arsenal kit. “Leah play with me?”
“I would love to!” Leah gasped, matching the little girl’s enthusiasm.
Leah grabbed a ball and made her way over to the penalty spot with the little girl, she placed the ball down before letting her kick into the goal. The fans erupted into a cheer as the ball went in, Leah cheered before leaning down the best she could and high-fiving the little girl.
A few other kids joined in and you watched on. You floated around, making small talk with people you hadn’t seen in a while.
“Y/N!” Beth smiled, embracing you in a hug as she held a baby. “How are you?”
You hugged her back, “I’m good, I should be asking you that.” You joke, “Who’s this little cutie?”
“I’m doing alright, sad I can’t be on the pitch,” Beth laughed. Beth herself was also out with her ACL as well as her girlfriend, Viv.. “This is Milo! Stole him from his Mumma, she’s a friend of mine and Viv's, he’s helping keep us entertained.”
You tickled Milo’s stomach, earning an adorable baby giggle, “Oh you’re such a cutie!”
You stuck with Beth and Milo, you and Beth got lost in a conversation as you wandered around the pitch. Every now and then you’d stop to say hello to someone else before continuing to wander around.
Leah was off playing to the best of her abilities with Kim’s nieces and nephews as well as a few other kids that had joined in. You, Beth and Amanda watched as she walked back and forth, giving each kid a turn at kicking the ball into the net.
Your heart warmed and your ovaries felt like they were going to explode, seeing Leah with kids made you feel full. Over the past few months, you’d seen Leah interact and look after her baby nephew which had built up this brodyness feeling inside of you. You’d been yearning for a baby for a while now and these past couple of weeks the talk of having kids had been brought up more.
The little kids ran back to their parents and Leah joined you and Beth. She wrapped her arms around your waist and placed a kiss on your shoulder.
“Who’s this little guy?” Leah cooed, tickling Milo’s stomach.
“Milo, he’s my godson.” Beth smiled, “little cheeky thing he is.”
Milo reached out, chubby fingers grasping at the air. Leah’s face softened, and she scooped him up, cradling him against her chest. Both of you played a game of peek-a-boo with Milo before handing him back to Beth.
As time wore on, the crowd started to leave and so did everyone on the pitch. Leah said her goodbyes to everyone before leaving with you and her mum.
You picked up a Chinese takeaway on the way home and took it back to your house, Amanda joined you two as well as Leah’s brother, Jacob. It was a simple yet perfect ending to a day filled with love and laughter.
Although you were occupied with spending time with Leah and her family, your mind couldn’t stop thinking about seeing Leah will all of the kids today. That same broody feeling still sat in your stomach, your mind couldn’t stop thinking about Leah holding and cradling Milo.
For a long time, you knew you wanted kids with Leah, it was something you’d talked about multiple times in the past. Reciprocal IVF was something you’d agreed on doing, you’d carry Leah’s egg and she’d carry yours when the time came. The only thought on your mind was starting a family with Leah all evening.
Amanda and Jacob ended up leaving late, meaning you and Leah climbed into bed as soon as they had left. You were both tired from a long and emotional day.
“What’s on your mind, pretty girl?” Leah asked as you slipped into bed beside her.
You sighed, “Le, do you still want kids?” Waiting for Leah’s answer filled you with anxiety, she could turn around and say anything.
A smile crept up on Leah’s face as she nodded her head, “Yeah, of course, I do. I’ve always imagined us with a few little ones running around, causing chaos,” she began to trace patterns on your thigh, “Do you?”
“Yeah,” you whispered, nodding your head, “I do and I think I’m ready to start trying for a baby, Le. I think now’s the right time, I know you’re out injured but it feels right.”
Leah’s eyes lit up, “Really? You’re really ready?” You nodded your head once again, “I’ve been ready for a long time, baby. I just wanted to follow your lead with everything.”
“Seeing Milo and the others today, it’s like something clicked inside me. I want this with you, I want a family.” You admitted.
Leah’s smile was blinding. She cupped your face in her hands, her thumbs brushing over your cheeks. “God, I love you,” she whispered. “I love you so much.”
You and Leah spent the rest of the night talking about how you imagined your future. You made up little scenarios together, talking about all the things you wanted to do with your kids and show them all the different things in the world.
The next few days were spent researching IVF clinics and getting recommendations from couples you knew who’d done reciprocal ivf. You found one local to you that seemed right for you and Leah.
After a month filled with many phone calls and different health checks, you and Leah finally began the IVF process. It was the perfect timing, you’d had a month to think about everything but it also gave you a few months together before Leah went back to training.
You’d both agreed that you’d be the one to carry the pregnancy but you’d used Leah’s egg. Using Leah’s egg meant that Leah had to have a round of different injections every evening in order to stimulate her ovaries. Previous to starting the medications, you and Leah were both put on birth control to sync your cycles.
When it was time to stop the birth control, you and Leah had a long appointment with your IVF nurse who explained how to use all of the medications and how to give the injections. You practised giving the injections on fake skin, making you more confident within yourself.
“You ready?” You asked Leah as you finished wiping the area with an alcohol wipe.
Leah nodded, you could tell she was nervous, “That needle is so big…” She murmured, “Why’s it so big?!”
Leah felt stupid panicking over a needle when you were the one who was going to have to carry a baby for nine months and eventually give birth.
“It’s just a needle, Le.” you laughed at your wife, “You ready?”
Leah nodded once again, “I’ll look away.” She said, looking over your head at the blank wall behind her.
Leah took a deep breath and clenched her fist. The room seemed to hold its breath too. You pressed the plunger, delivering the medication that would help Leah’s body produce the eggs needed for the egg retrieval process. The needle slid in smoothly, and Leah winced, her eyes squeezing shut.
You held the needle in for five seconds, pushing the medicine in, “Done,” you whispered, pulling the needle out.
Leah exhaled, her knuckles white from gripping the edge of the bed. You stood up and kissed her forehead. “We’re really doing this.” Leah grinned.
As the days passed, you and Leah continued with the injections. You began to take estrogen to help prepare your own body for the embryo transfer while Leah carried on with her injections.
Every evening you’d give Leah her injections and every few days Leah would have monitoring appointments to track how her eggs were maturing and when she’d be ready for the egg retrieval.
While Leah was taking the injections, her body began to change. By day three you’d noticed how drained she was, she was much more tired and had started taking multiple naps throughout the day. She was also crying more often, Leah had always been an emotional person but she was even more emotional while taking the injections.
You came home from work one day to find her crying over a puppy video she’d seen on TikTok.
By day eleven, Leah’s eggs were mature and ready for the egg retrieval. You were lucky that it only took eleven days rather than the fourteen it could’ve been. Thirty-six hours before the egg retrieval, Leah had her trigger shot. It gave her a day to prepare before having her egg retrieval.
Leah’s egg retrieval was a smooth process. It was a midday appointment and Leah’s recovery hadn’t begun yet, meaning that Leah didn’t have to worry about booking time off. The sedation sent Leah into a sleep, Leah claimed it was the best sleep she’d ever had in her life.
She didn’t remember most of it but you were there when she woke up. She felt groggy and was soon discharged for you to take care of her at home. Amanda brought round a lasagne for you both which you enjoyed together on the sofa. That evening consisted of laying together in bed, Leah had a hot water bottle strapped to her stomach due to the intense cramps she was having.
You were told to expect anywhere between five and fourteen eggs to be collected from the egg retrieval but because Leah had endometriosis that it was probably going to be on the lower side. The next day, your doctor phoned you with the news of how many eggs you’d managed to get.
Luckily, you got seven eggs which took both you and Leah by surprise. You’d both prepared yourself to get a lower amount of eggs, both of you expected to get four or five but you got seven. Seven little eggs that would soon become embryos.
Following the retrieval, your doctor fertilised the eggs and continued to prep your body for the transfer. You and Leah chose to use your brothers sperm, meaning the baby would be related to the both of you. You took both estrogen and progesterone in hopes of preparing your body successfully, which it did.
Six days after Leah’s egg retrieval, you had your transfer. Out of the seven of the eggs that were taken from Leah, only five made it through. You decided to transfer just one egg and freeze the other four for future use.
“You ready to go, pretty girl?” Leah asked you from beside the door as you grabbed the bag.
You nodded your head as you picked up your bag and slipped your shoes on, “Mhm, let's go get me pregnant!” You joked.
You spent that morning cuddled in bed with Leah, she ordered you breakfast from McDonald’s which you enjoyed in bed together.
Leah drove you both to the clinic, the radio played in the background as you and Leah talked about random things. When you arrived, you didn’t wait around long before your doctor called you in.
You changed into a gown and had to put on a hair net, Leah had to put on a hair net too which you made sure to snap a photo of. Leah held your hand as the doctors performed the small procedure. They talked you through each step and you were even able to watch it on the screen in front of you.
Five minutes later, the procedure was done and you were officially pregnant until proven otherwise. A little image of your embryo was given to you and Leah as well as a box of pregnancy tests that you weren’t allowed to take until after the two-week wait.
“I’m so proud of you,” Leah murmured against your forehead as you stood outside of your car. “I love you so much.”
“I love you more,” you smiled before pressing a soft kiss to Leah’s lips. “I’m so tired.” You yawned.
Leah chucked, opening your car door, “Let’s get you home, pretty girl.”
When you arrived home, your body felt weak and tired. You headed straight for your bedroom and climbed into bed but when you opened your bedroom door you were met with a surprise.
A little gift basket was set on the end of your bed, filled with different goodies. You turned around and faced Leah, tears welling in your eyes.
“Le, did you do this for me?” You asked, a tear slipping down your face.
She nodded, “I had my Mum bring it round while we were out, have a look at it.”
You stepped closer to the bed and rummaged through the basket. It was filled with all of your favourite snacks, skincare stuff and a brand-new blanket. On top of the blanket was a note attached.
You reached for the note, unfolding it carefully. Leah’s handwriting was written across the page, each word etched with love. “What’s this?” You asked.
“Open it,” she urged.
To my pretty girl,
I love you so much, more than words can describe. I’m so grateful to be doing this with you and I’m so proud to be your wife. Thank you for giving your body up as a place and home for our baby to grow. I can’t wait to experience this journey with you. I promise to treat you like a princess for the next nine months.
Love you lots,
Le <33
Tears continued to slip down your face as you turned on your heels to face Leah. She engulfed you and a hug and held you close to her chest.
“These next nine months are going to be perfect, I promise.” Leah whispered into your hairline.
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novalpha · 1 year
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𝘝𝘦𝘳𝘯𝘰𝘯 𝐹𝑖𝑐 𝑅𝑒𝑐𝑠
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♡ Fluff || ୨୧ Angst || ★ Smut || ꗃ SMAU || ⌗ Series || ✿ Drabble || ♤ Mature (No smut) || ✹ Humor
❙❘❙❙❘❙❚❙❘ ⌕ Buy A Boyfriend ♡★⌗ -> @sluttywoozi Part 1 , Part 2 , Part 3 , Part 4
Summary: Being a professional boyfriend on SVTHub is great - all Vernon has to do is respond to a few texts, send out a couple selfies, do a stream every now and then, and he makes enough to cover tuition. Things get a little tricky when he finds himself wishing he actually was your boyfriend.
❙❘❙❙❘❙❚❙❘ ⌕ By hook or by cross ♡୨୧★ -> @kabira
summary — so you punched a guy, and now he wants you to teach him how to fight, because clearly, you know how to do it better. well, fine, you say. as long as he keeps his distance. (spoiler alert: he doesn’t.)
❙❘❙❙❘❙❚❙❘ ⌕ divorce child ♡★ -> @lovelyhan
summary: you like to think that your most recent breakup with vernon ended on relatively good terms. there’s only one issue left to sort out: who’s getting custody of the cat you got together?
❙❘❙❙❘❙❚❙❘ ⌕ Cold hands, Warm hearts ♡ -> @duhnova
synopsis: this holiday season, your daughter decided the best present she could give to you was a new boyfriend, which is why she and her best friend yujin have taken it upon themselves to play matchmaker. their candidate? yujin’s father.
❙❘❙❙❘❙❚❙❘ ⌕ Operation : Hot girl summer ♡✹★ -> @shuaflix
SUMMARY ▸ the summer you started putting more effort into your appearance also happens to be the summer where vernon chwe's piercing gaze leaves you feeling like you're floating high up in the clouds.
❙❘❙❙❘❙❚❙❘ ⌕ Not a virgin ♡✹★ -> @ncteez
Vernon, a friend of your friend spills his spicy sex life and accidentally reveals to an entire group of near-strangers (including you) that he’s had sex one and a half times and that it was sick.
or the one where despite vernon not being a virgin, he is somehow more of a virgin than an actual virgin. 
❙❘❙❙❘❙❚❙❘ ⌕ High and fucked ★ -> @rubyreduji
summary: hansol is nothing to you but your ex-boyfriend's roommate, but you still find yourself alone with him while you get high together
❙❘❙❙❘❙❚❙❘ ⌕ Risk it all ★ -> @sluttywoozi
Summary: Vernon's got a crush on his tutor, and everything gets harder when you start wearing thigh high socks. Everything.
❙❘❙❙❘❙❚❙❘ ⌕ The soulmate service ♡✹୨୧ -> @dkfile
the soulmate service has one purpose: to help those who drew the short end of the stick and ended up without a person to live their forever with. after the heart wrenching realization that the boy you’ve loved since you were thirteen isn’t the one meant for you, you put your love life in the hands of vernon chwe — which, now that you think about it, is probably a very bad idea.
❙❘❙❙❘❙❚❙❘ ⌕ Work husband ♡✹ -> @wondernus
synopsis: falling for the young and flirty high school history teacher is inevitable especially when he pays for your groceries and calls himself your work husband
❙❘❙❙❘❙❚❙❘ ⌕ Trillium ♡★ -> @beahae
Summary: Vernon is flying in to see his girlfriend. Oh shit, that’s… you. Being away from him for the past few months ago makes it hard for it to feel real, especially after two years of what you both convinced yourselves was a purely platonic friendship. Now that he’s here in the flesh, you are determined to make it feel real. And very non-platonic.
❙❘❙❙❘❙❚❙❘ ⌕ Say you love me (i love you) ♡✹ -> @viastro
synopsis: three heavy words. you’re so used to saying this to the one person that’s always been by your side, because you know that he’s your other half; platonically. these words have always held some sort of meaning whenever you say it to vernon, in hopes that maybe one day he’ll say it back to you.
❙❘❙❙❘❙❚❙❘ ⌕ Distraction ♡✹★ -> @minghaoyoudoin
summary: typically, when a person’s house smells like fire, you call the fire department. when your house smells like fire, you know it’s because Vernon is cooking.
[ More Vernon fic recs will be updated ]
Want more Seventeen fic recs? -> Click here
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reminiscingtonight · 11 months
Text
Sisters Know Best
Ana-Maria Crnogorčević x Wälti!Reader
Word Count: 2.2k
A/N: I may or may not have forgotten the Olympics was a thing. Oops
[WOSO Masterlist]
Consciousness comes to you slowly. Eyes gently fluttering open, your smile is automatic at both the feel and sight of your favorite person wrapped around you.
Ana’s face is peaceful and relaxed as she still remains fast asleep, arms securely locking you against her body.
You’ve missed this. Being able to fall asleep and wake up to Ana is something you took for granted until suddenly you weren’t able to do so anymore.
Her departure from Barcelona was unexpected, for both you and her. None of your teammates knew it was coming as well. A relationship that blossomed during the last half of your one year overlap at Barcelona was suddenly subjected to the distance between your club teams. 
But the two of you made things work. Facetime dates were a regular occurrence, so were the trips to visit one another during short breaks of play. One and a half years after you began dating, your relationship is still going strong.
As much as you would have loved to stay trapped against Ana until she woke, eventually your bladder wins, urging you to find an escape to the bathroom. It takes a couple minutes, but eventually you wiggle your way to freedom without waking Ana. 
After relieving yourself, you’re halfway between the bathroom and your bedroom when you notice the jacket hanging from the hook by the front door. The jacket that very much was not present when you and Ana got to the house earlier in the day.
Eyes wide, you have to remind yourself to stay calm.
A year and a half into dating, you’re already certain Ana’s the love of your life. But that doesn’t negate the fact that you’ve known her nearly almost all of your life. And of course you had no one but Lia to thank for that fact.
Ana’s been your sister’s best friend for as long as you could remember.
And that would be cool, everything would be 100% fine. Except… maybe Lia’s still unaware of your relationship.
Initially, the two of you kept it under wraps, not wanting Lia’s unwanted opinions to potentially interfere with whatever was happening between the two of you. But then as time moved on, as you and Ana settled down into a smooth relationship, separated from your sister by both a country and the English Channel, you didn’t feel the rush to disclose your relationship to her.
The stress of the world cup last year allowed your relationship to remain undetected during the off-season. Lia didn’t have the time or brainpower to focus on anything other than keeping your national team together and functioning under the direction of your head coach who could barely string a coherent play together. 
But that was last year. And now, more than a year after you and Ana made things official, you still have not told Lia about your relationship. And with the beginning of this off-season, you’re about to spend the majority of two months together with no major tournaments to act as a distraction.
A part of you is really hoping you just missed the jacket when you arrived earlier, but the more logical side of your brain tells you you’re as fucked as you think you are.
Tip-toeing down the stairs, you pop your head around the corner into the kitchen.
Lia looks up from where she’s sat by the counter when you push the door open. You were already expecting to see her there, but you still can’t mask the surprise in your voice. “Lia? What are you-- You’re home!”
Your sister raises an amused eyebrow at the tone in your voice. “It’s great to see you too.”
Shaking yourself out of your shock, you lunge forward, letting Lia pull you into the comforts of her arms. “Missed you,” you grin, momentarily forgetting your girlfriend is fast asleep upstairs. 
Though the thought quickly returns when Lia gestures towards the front door, hidden behind the wall. “I noticed you got new shoes?”
Paling, you remember the way you had to bribe Ana with kisses to neatly place her shoes next to yours by the rack. 
“Yeah! I did a little bit of shopping in Barcelona before coming home,” is the first lie that passes through your mind, something you’re quick to voice.
“I can see that,” Lia chuckles, tugging at your unfamiliar but also so obviously worn down sweatshirt. It’s just your luck that you’re also wearing one of Ana’s sweatshirts right as this moment. You find yourself wanting to curse your girlfriend out. Dubbed Ana’s ‘favorite,’ this piece of clothing is your go-to for stealing. It just always smells like her and makes you feel safe, but safe is the last thing you feel as you are quick to nod again, lying that you did indeed get a new piece of clothing too.
The two of you chat about everything and nothing, making up for lost time. While you’re so obviously just trying to buy time as you try to come up with a way to either sneak Ana out of the house or come clean to Lia without facing her wrath, you come bask in the presence of your sister. You really have missed Lia.
After spending the majority of your career chasing Lia from club to club, you finally made your break away from her two seasons ago to Barcelona. Leaving Arsenal was hard, but you were ready for something new. And Lia was more than happy to support you.
Some time in between Lia praising how well the new Arsenal players have cemented their place on the team over the season and discussing which possible movie the two of you should go put on, Lia ducks under the cabinet to pull out the kettle, intent on making some tea. You use the brief moment of distraction to make your getaway.
“Oh shoot, I forgot my phone upstairs in my room. Do you mind waiting here for me while I quickly go get it?”
Lia chuckles, gesturing to stove. “Go for it. I won’t be joining you until our tea’s done.”
Your trainers at Barcelona would be proud of the speed to which you race out of the kitchen and then back up the stairs to your room.
To your delight, and horror, Ana’s already awake, sleepy smile sent your way when you shut the door behind you. 
“Hi baby--”
“Lia’s home,” you whisper, cutting Ana off.
The blonde’s eyes grow in size as she bolts upright in your bed.
“What do you mean? I thought you said she wouldn’t be back until…” Ana’s words trail off when she flips over her phone and sees the time.
The two of you definitely napped for longer than you originally intended to.
“You’ve got to go. Lia’s about to hunker me down with a movie marathon. God knows how long you’ll be stuck here if you don’t try sneaking out now.”
Ana blinks. “How exactly are you going to sneak me out then?” 
You point towards the window in your room. “I’ve snuck out of the house multiple times growing up. There’s a tree that you can climb out and get into the front yard from.”
Ana balks, looking at you as if you just grew three heads. “You want me to sneak out the window and climb down a tree?!”
You roll your eyes, pressing a sweet kiss against Ana’s panic-stricken face. “Don’t worry, it’s perfectly safe.”
Turning around, you head for your closest. After a bit of digging you finally pull out an old pair of tennis shoes.
“Here, wear these,” you whisper, shoving the shoes into Ana’s hands
Ana frowns, though she does as you say and slips on the offered shoes. “Why can’t I just wear mine?”
“Lia was asking me whose shoes they were and I said I got some new shoes in Barcelona.”
Ana shoots you a look that tells you she’s less than impressed with your white lie. “I better get those shoes back. They were expensive.”
You have to muffle your snort, both of you knowing very well the chances of you returning them would be close to 0. “I know, I was there when you bought them.”
Ana pinches your cheek for the sass, and you respond by giving her ass a little slap as she slips pass you towards the window.
Though she rolls her eyes, you can see the smile on her lips.
“If I break my neck before the international break I’m blaming you,” she mumbles, swinging her legs through the opening. 
“Such a sweet-talker,” you shoot back, ignoring her huff of faux-annoyance. Instead, you lean in to press a light kiss against Ana’s lips.
“Call me?”
You nod. “As soon as Lia lets me go.”
With one last grin over her shoulder Ana shuffles fully out the window onto the roof. You only wait until you see Ana begin her descent before hurrying back down the stairs towards Lia.
The brunette’s already sitting in the living room, movie pulled up when you come skidding to a stop next to her. To your relief it seems as if Lia’s been engrossed in her phone the whole time you’ve been gone. 
She looks up with a grin, lifting up a corner of her blanket for you. 
“I’m thinking we can start with The Sorcerer’s Stone and make our way down from there.”
It isn’t until the sun’s long set and the two of you have switched to watching cooking shows for the past two hours that Lia rises with a yawn. 
She pats your leg, stretching as she stands. “I think I’m going to head to bed.”
Sleepily nodding, you sink deeper into the blankets. “I’ll probably watch another episode or something before heading up,” you mumble, fully content with letting your sleepiness take over right here right now. Though your body would most likely hate you tomorrow when you wake, your bed on the second floor just seems so far away.
Lia doesn’t say anything else, giving you a gentle hum as she makes her way towards the light switch. Dimming the lights a bit, she watches with amusement as your eyes slowly flutter, trying, but failing, to keep yourself awake.
You’re two seconds from drifting off into a peaceful sleep when Lia speaks up, not having fully left the living room yet. Spoken over her shoulder almost as an afterthought, her parting words have you suddenly snapping wide awake. 
“Next time Ana comes over let her know she can use the front door to enter and leave like a normal person.”
---
Closing the door as quietly behind her as she can, Lia pops her head over the wall separating the front door from the living room.
Her face falls into a frown when she doesn’t see you anywhere on the first floor. 
You had texted your sister that you made it back to Switzerland only hours ago. Surely you haven’t already left the house without waiting to see her first?
Sighing, she toes off her shoes, not without noticing a new pair of shoes sitting by the shoe rack. You must have gone shopping or something, Lia muses before heading for the stairs.
There’s really only one other place you could possibly be if you were still in the house. Dropping her bag off in her room, Lia lightly skips towards your bedroom. It’s only been two months since you last saw each other in person, but you and Lia have always been extremely close, and paired with how her season ended, Lia just really wanted to see you.
Quietly cracking open your door, Lia pokes her head into your room.
The first thing she notices is how dark it is. The blinds in your room have been drawn, the only light filtering into the room being through the door she has opened.
It takes a couple seconds for Lia’s eyes to adjust, and when it finally does, she can’t stop her mouth from dropping open.
Well there you were, definitely not roaming the streets of your childhood town. But what she’s not expecting is the extremely familiar head of blonde hair tucked around you like a protective shield. 
The shock quickly turns to affection as Lia smiles to herself at the adorable sight of you and Ana cuddled together in your sleep. Pulling her phone out to snap a quick picture of the two of you deep in sleep, Lia quietly closes the door behind her as she sets her sights for the kitchen.
Her sister and best friend? Together? Totally unexpected but Lia couldn't be more than happy for the two of you.
And when you sleepily stumble into the kitchen nearly an hour later, panic crossing your face at the sight of Lia already home, well who can blame Lia for having a bit of fun at your expense?
Especially when it means she gets to see Ana ungracefully scale the tree outside your bedroom window.
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Lovely Lady May
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Happy Sunday everyone! Shout out to the anon who asked for this, sorry it took me so long I am terrible at writing endings… Hope you enjoy!
Pairings: Danny Wagner X fem!reader
Warnings: 18+ only!! Minors you don’t even want to look this direction. Breeding kink, unprotected p in v sex, fingering, oral (fem rec), lotsa dirty talk, food play, some persuasion if you see it that way, some plot, little editing
Word count: 6k
Danny Wagner. You’d had your eye on him for quite some time. He was perfect; thick head of hair, broad and sturdy frame, good facial bone structure. Yeah, he would do. Once you had decided it was him all that was left was to figure out how to approach him, win over his favor, get him to agree to what you wanted.
You knew Danny Wagner, had known him for years much like everyone knew everybody in this tiny Midwest town you’d all grown up in. He was a funny kid in high school, you never paid him much attention though admittedly you often had too much preoccupying your time back then.
In present time much of that distraction was gone. The youth did tend to leave this town while they could, leaving behind only those who had nowhere else to go and nothing else to do but stay home and find work. That’s exactly what you had done, in the years after high school you had opened a bakery in the tiny square downtown where all the wandering tourists from the next town over stopped for some gas along the way or found a cheaper place to stay.
Rent in town was cheap, that’s how you’d managed to secure your loft just above the bakery. It was small, quaint, but you had spent the last six years happily alone here making it your home. Happily that was until about a year ago when you decided that all you had in life just wasn’t enough anymore.
It started with seeing old friends finally coming back to visit family after settling down. Most of them had gotten married, and more than a few were already having kids.
It was the holiday season and you were up to your elbows in flour and sugar, scrambling to get all your orders done while also keeping the bakery itself stocked for the walk-in customers. Your high school best friend was in town, you’d almost forgotten until she walked through the door of the shop, one arm pushing the heavy glass door open while the other cradled a small bundle.
She had a baby, not even six weeks old yet, still wrinkly and warm and smelling like the sweet treats you made day in and day out. You spent the next three days visiting with her while she was in town, each time immediately plucking the babe from where it slept and placing it right in your arms. That’s when the baby fever started.
You thought it would go away, wanting a baby wasn’t exactly in the cards for you right now considering your last relationship ended the summer after senior year. As the months passed on though, you found yourself staring longingly at each little child that walked into your shop, eyes round and wide with excitement as they peered through the display cases of cookies and cakes.
It had only been a couple of months since you actually decided on going through with your plan. In fact you nearly considered forgetting it all together until you found the right person for the job.
Danny Wagner. He never left town either, opting to stay home and help his family with their business. An apple orchard right at the edge of the city limits.
You knew the place well since opening your shop, preferring to purchase local, organic, ingredients whenever you could.
At this time of year, weekly with the orders you placed from the orchard, your crates of freshly picked apples in their vibrant green, shades of red and orange, and yellows came delivered by Danny.
“A slice of apple pie today?” You called from over your shoulder as you transferred the dozen of honeycrips from their wooden crate to the large stainless sink in the back of the bakery to be washed and prepped later.
“If you’re offering” Danny replied with a smile on his face, a smile you’d grown quite accustomed to seeing when you started giving out a slice of apple pie after every delivery. It only seemed fair he got a piece considering it was his apples you used, and they really did make a difference.
With the crate cleared you pulled the wash towel from your apron and gave your hands a good drying before untying the cotton cloth from around your waist and setting it aside. “Do you have a minute?”
“Umm sure” Danny set the extra boxes of things you’d ordered on the counter next to your apron, curious about what you had in mind.
“I’m actually tweaking the recipe a little bit. Was wondering if you wanted to come upstairs and try it out for me?” You voice sounded calm and resolved, but you hoped Danny couldn’t see the slight tremble in your hands as you waved him over to the unassuming stairs that lead directly up to your loft.
Danny followed quietly, he had obviously never been up here before so he was busy taking in the surroundings when you reached the top. It gave you a bit of relief that he wasn’t paying too much attention to how you anxiously fluttered around the small kitchenette.
“I never realized you lived up here” Danny mentioned as his eyes scanned the open space, the only privacy it offered was a door to your bedroom and a door to the bathroom, everything else was right in sight from where he sat.
“What? You thought I could afford a business and my own place all on my own?” You joked. That was the normal atmosphere between you two, a lot of joking, a little flirting maybe if you squinted, but mostly just kindness.
“Well I’d say you’re doing pretty well for yourself regardless” Danny replied, finally turning his attention to you alone when he heard the sound of a knife cutting against a porcelain pie dish.
“Thanks”. You set the plate down in front of him, letting your hand brush across the top of his shoulders as you went back for the fork, waiting patiently as he took the first bite.
“Wow, if I didn’t already think you made the best damn apple pies I’ve ever had in my life, I sure do now”. He tried another larger taste, turning the fork sideways to slide through the flakey crust and scoop some of the filling into the perfect bite. A look of pure satisfaction washed over his face as he chewed. No matter how often he had your pies he did always seem to really enjoy them and it always made your day.
“So Danny…” you trailed off, trying to maintain your resolve to your goal as he continued on eating. “You would say we’re friends right?”
“Of course” he quickly replied after swallowing.
“So I can ask you something in confidence? Well, it’s a favor really”.
The corner of his mouth pulled up into a charming half smile, one that made you swoon just a little if you were completely honest with yourself. That was besides the point though, you had him here right where you wanted him and now you needed to focus. “Have you ever thought about having kids?”
Danny’s smile faded, though he didn’t seem upset, just curious again about where exactly this was going. “Sure, I have a little” he answered truthfully, adding more after a bit of consideration “I do want some, yeah”.
“I’ve been thinking about it a lot recently” you admit, leaning against the counter so your still unsteady hands would have something to grip onto. You knew this was a big ask and it could go over very badly, but you had to try. “I want one, sooner rather than later. Problem is I’ve looked into IVF, it’s hella expensive and I don’t know if you know but owning a business doesn’t come with very good health insurance”.
It had all made sense in your head when you planned it out, finding a man to ask to be willing to make a baby with you, but when you tried to explain your thoughts out loud they started to sound less and less rational. Still, you pursued since you seemed to have kept his attention for this long. “I’ve been saving up for almost a year, and I have a friend that’s going to give her used baby stuff to me. All I need is someone willing to help me out…”
Danny was quiet again, his eyes falling to the crumbs on his plate for a moment as he thought. “Are you saying you want me to get you pregnant?”
You pressed your thighs together as you clenched around nothing. It wasn’t besides either of you exactly how that would have to come about, but even though the sex would be purely transactional it didn’t help that you’d come to find Danny extremely attractive and the way he spoke was already doing things to you that you weren’t prepared for.
“Yes, that is what I’m asking”. It was getting harder and harder to sound confident, your nerves finally taking completely over as you scrambled to plead your case. “I wouldn’t expect anything from you obviously. I’ll have plenty of support from my family and I’m looking at getting a bigger place soon. No one will ever have to know you’re the biological father”.
Danny stood slowly and your heart sank, expecting he was preparing to leave because your idea was actually crazy. Instead he only stood there, his height exceeding yours by a few inches but the way he awkwardly slouched a little and rubbed at his bare upper arms made him seem less intimidating and more approachable.
You took the step forward, reaching out for one of his hands to cradle in your own, a simple touch you hoped would show him how grateful you were for his consideration. “You don’t have to give me an answer now, but would you think about it? For me?”
With the closer distance between you two now you could see the way Danny’s lips parted slightly, but no words came out. His eyes fell down your body for a moment as a shuddering breath escaped him. “When,” he began, shaking his head softly and bringing his gaze back up to meet yours dead on, “when do you want to try this?”
Your heart felt like it stopped, was he seriously agreeing? Danny was always a nice guy, a people pleaser, a hard worker, and an all around joy, but even then a part of you still expected him to at least politely decline.
“I’m ovulating right now actually” you blurted out. Yeah, that was a real mood setter.
Danny chuckled, the sweet sound jumpstarting your drive. “Right now?” His dark brows raised in playful question, his hand in yours turning over to sneak up your arm and pull you closer. “Are there any rules in this agreement?”
“Rules?” You mumbled, the feeling of his fingers gripping into your waist making your knees already feel weak.
“I mean is this just a one time thing and if it works it works, if it doesn’t it doesn’t? I’m not going to stand here and lie to you by saying I haven’t thought about being with you like this”. Danny seemed a little shy to admit his secret, but it only ignited a fire in the pit of your stomach. “I mean maybe not exactly like this, but you know what I mean”.
“Really?” You breathed, allowing your hands now to come up and rest on his shoulders, playing with the torn up hem of his cut off sleeves. “I never knew”.
“Well now you do” he smiled again, dipping his head down so that the very tip of his nose brushed against your cheekbone. Your eyes fluttered closed, preparing for the kiss you expected, but Danny only moved to whisper into your ear. “So I ask again, are there any rules?”
You thought about it for a moment, coming up with something on the spot since, surprisingly, you’d seemed to have thought of everything else but this. “For now this stays between us, we act perfectly casual around each other”. Danny nodded, finally pressing a warm plush lipped kiss to the spot behind your ear. You tilted your head back, giving him more access to roam across your neck. “While we’re doing this, no one else”.
“There is no one else” Danny mumbled against your pulse point, his other hand coming up to thread his fingers through your hair.
“Good. And most importantly, no pulling out”.
In one swift blurry motion, Danny grabbed you by the hips and lifted you up, walking back to the counter where he plopped you back down and immediately connected his lips to yours. You instinctively wrapped your legs around his waist, pulling him in closer as you kissed him back hungrily and desperately.
“Did you wear this for me then?” Danny asked as he slipped a hand between your bodies, sliding his palm up your inner thigh and underneath the hem of your floral dress. You nodded, biting your bottom lip as you leaned back to watch him explore.
“Easy access” he grinned as the tips of his fingers found the lace trim of your panties, and you gasped when he suddenly pressed his thumb to your heat, smirking at how wet you already were.
“Danny” you whined at how delicious the friction was even with the thin layer of cotton still in the way. “Are you going to play with me or are you going to give me what I want?”
“Oh I’m going to play with you” he chuckled again, his fingers pulling your panties aside to gather up your slick. “If we’re going to do this it might as well be fun right?”
Your brows furrowed, on one hand you wanted him to take this seriously. Having a baby was all you wanted right now and you were clearly prepared to do whatever it took. On the other hand, you thought he was right. You were sure you had read somewhere that the better the quality of the sex was, the higher the chances of conception were. So what was the harm?
With Danny still smirking at you as he circled his fingers around everywhere but where you really wanted him, you grabbed a fist full of his shirt and pulled him back into a searing kiss. Danny groaned against your mouth and finally plunged two of his fingers inside, making your mouth fall open with a moan at the unexpected stretch.
“Yeah? That feel good?” Danny questioned in a faintly demeaning tone that made your brain go fuzzy for a few seconds.
You held onto his bicep tightly, the shiny polish coincidentally named ‘apple red’ on your nails contrasting with the way his skin turned pearly white under your grip. “Fuck, yeah that does feel good” you agreed with the breath in your lungs slipping away with each thrust of his fingers deeper into you. “But I bet you’d feel even better”.
“Patience sweetheart” Danny smiled, slowing his movements to give you room to breathe. “In time. But first…” he glanced around the counter you were still spread out on, his eyes zeroing in on a bowl covered in plastic wrap right within reach.
One hand with his fingers still buried deep inside you, Danny pulled the bowl closer to look at what was inside. “Is this the new recipe?” He questioned, seeing the thick caramel colored filling.
It was ridiculous he was concerned with that at this moment, but you played along anyway, taking the break to regain your composure so that you could continue to rival his attitude. “It is, did you like it? Though I have to admit it was mostly part of the plot to get you up here”
“Figured” Danny chuckled, shaking his head again. “I did, but do you mind if I ruin this batch?”
“What?” You were confused, not following his train of thought at all. “No, I don’t mind?”
Without another word he retreated his fingers only to lift the plastic off the bowl and dip inside. The look of pure shock you had on your face when he licked his fingers clean of both the pie filling and your juices mixed together had to be entertaining, because he chuckled even harder and leaned in to give you a taste.
While he kissed you, tongue lapping into your mouth, Danny found the buttons to the front of your dress and slowly undid them one by one, allowing the flowy fabric to slip open and expose your chest. “No bra? You’re making this too easy”.
“You prefer a challenge?” You giggled in return.
“No, this is good”. Danny leaned back, admiring your tits from a little distance before sticking his fingers back into the bowl beside you and smearing some of the filling onto your left nipple.
When his mouth connected with your chest you grabbed at his hair. Before you had always wondered how soft it would be, and now with your fingers weaving tightly through dense curls you were glad to say it was indeed very soft and smelled woodsy-sweet.
Once he had you nice and clean, your nipple now perky and covered in a sheen of saliva, Danny lathered up the right side with enough filling this time that it was dripping down your breast and onto your stomach. Danny held eye contact with you as he lowered himself, his tongue coming out to lick up the mess he’d made and then latched onto your nipple again, humming in satisfaction as it hardened up just as the other had.
Content with getting you cleaned off again, Danny lowered himself even further until he was on his knees before you, his hands diving back up your dress to find the waistband of your panties so that he could pull them off this time.
You braced yourself on your hands against the countertop and lifted your hips slightly to help, but before you could fully sit back down Danny wrapped his hand around your hip and pulled you right to the very edge. For extra support he let your legs come to rest on his shoulders, his face disappearing between your thighs as his mouth met your center.
Your back arched and your head met the cabinets with a dull thud as you held your moan in this time. Just like with his fingers, Danny didn’t waste any time in letting his tongue enter you, it’s pointed tip reaching as far as it could go. His nose pressed against the hood of your clit and you couldn’t help the groan that did come out when he started to shake his head side to side.
“Danny you’re gonna make me cum like that” you whined, sure that he could feel the way your legs started to shake and threatened to clamp shut around him.
Danny spoke quickly so that he wasn’t parted from you long enough to lose how close you were to your high. “Give it to me. I want to taste how sweet you are before I fill you up”.
“Ah fuck!” you cried out just as the band that had been tightening in the pit of your stomach snapped. You were unsure what had ultimately done it, the way he worked harder to get you there, or the salacious words spilled so freely from his dirty mouth. Either way your mind was still spinning with the after effects of your orgasm when he stood up and started unbuttoning his pants.
“Are you ready for me then?” He asked as you watched him through hooded eyes while he pulled himself from his boxers, stroking his hardened length a few times to smear his precum- not that he needed the extra lubricant, you were dripping at this point.
“Get over here and give it to me already”.
Danny clicked his tongue, but he moved back between your legs anyways, using the grip on his shaft to run the tip of his cock through your slick folds. “Still impatient. I’ll put a baby in you sweetheart don’t you worry”.
Before you could say anything else to counter his cheeky remark, Danny thrust his hips up into you until his base met your entrance. You thought you might have cum again just then by how wet you were around him, but you knew it was only because he turned you on more than you’d ever been before.
“God! Right there!” You threw one arm around his shoulders, your legs hooking back around his waist as his hips snapped back and forth knocking you against the cabinets. It was a good thing you’d flipped the sign in the window downstairs from ‘open’ to ‘closed’ when Danny arrived today, otherwise you were sure any customers who had stumbled in at this time would’ve heard you getting your world rocked above them.
“It’s gonna feel so good to cum in you” Danny groaned. You were unsure if he was still speaking to you, or if he was just rambling on to himself now by the way his voice came out breathy and strained. He had hands on your thighs, using his grip as leverage to keep his upwards thrusts just hard enough that you were seeing stars as you closed your eyes and let your head fall back.
Before long you were feeling like you were going to let go again, and he could feel the way your walls fluttered and clenched around him. Danny came first, slamming into you once more and then you felt the flood of warmth, the wild twitching of his length buried deep inside as he unloaded in you just like you’d asked.
“Hold on, let me look at you”. Danny hooked his thumbs under your dress and bunched it up at your waist then leaned back as he slowly began to slide out, still hard and throbbing. He watched in awe as his release started to dribble down, a sight he’d never had the pleasure of seeing before.
“Danny” you whimpered, still wound up from being so close to cumming yourself again.
He knew exactly what you wanted, and he could have teased you about it, but he wanted to make sure you were taken care of. Pushing in again, he fucked his cum back into you a few times until you were shaking as your second orgasm rocked through you.
“How are you doing?” The kindness in Danny’s voice returned and he helped tuck your tousled hair behind your ears as he kissed gently at your cheeks.
“Good…” you sighed, your body starting to relax again, “I’m doing good, thanks”.
“So do you think it’s gonna work?”
You thought maybe you could hear a bit of hopefulness, but you shook it off as your own will manifesting. “I guess we will find out in a couple of weeks”.
“You’ll let me know?” He was genuine when he asked, almost like he was afraid you’d choose to go through this alone even though you’d assured him you’d have plenty help.
“Sure” you nod your head and he helped you off the counter before retrieving your underwear from the floor. You didn’t even bother putting them back on, a shower was definitely within order before getting back to work.
“Well, see you around then?” He lingered by the door to the stairs, glancing around your apartment a few more times.
“Yeah Danny, I’ll see you around”. You held the door open for him, confident he could make his way back down to the large kitchen at the back of the bakery and out the way he always came in. “Again, thank you”.
He offered one last smile that warmed your heart to the core, “don’t mention it”.
Three days passed and you went about your life like normal. Of course you wanted to believe that it had worked, that you were cooking up your own little bun in the oven as you loaded trays of cookies into the ones at the shop.
Danny was always around, he made deliveries in town nearly everyday, usually always about noon, but today it was nearly six in the evening when the bell to the front door rang. You turned around, your face lighting up when you saw it was Danny paying you a visit.
“Closing soon?” He asked as he watched you cleaning up, broom in hand and a damp rag around your shoulder with glass cleaner stuffed in your pocket.
“In a little while. What can I do for you?” You set the broom aside, but finished buffing off the tiny fingerprints on the display case, smiling at the memory of the little boy who had excitedly picked out a chocolate muffin. If you had a boy would he like chocolate as much as this little one had? Or maybe a girl who liked strawberry.
“My dad said you hadn’t placed an order for next week yet. He wanted to know if he needed to set anything aside for you”.
“Oh, right”. A part of you had wished Danny was stopping by specifically to check in on you, but even if he was just here on business it was nice to see him. “Sorry, I’ve had a lot on my mind recently. Let me go check in the back, I’m sure I can make a list right quick”.
Danny had shoved his hands into his pockets, feeling a little out of place in your shop now even though he’d been here half a million times over the last few years.
You sensed his trepidation and exhaled through your nose. “Hey, I made some lemonade this morning. Want some?”
A bit of his awkwardness subsided, his charmful half smile returning as he followed you into the bakery kitchen. You finished off the picture of lemonade with two glasses, one for you and one for him, and started the search through your cabinets. Honestly you really already knew what you needed to order, same as usual a dozen of honeycrisps, a dozen granny smith, a dozen gala, two pounds of walnuts, peaches and blackberries were about to be done for the season so you’d get whatever you could, and it was about to be that time of year to start harvesting some beautiful pumpkin for bread and pie and even roasted seeds. Even so you fiddled around just to keep Danny here for a bit longer, at least so he could enjoy his refreshment.
“How have things been up there at the orchard?” You asked, trying to make polite conversation as you took out a pen and paper and scribbled your order.
“Busy as always, weathers been beautiful this week though so I can’t complain much”. He took another sip of his lemonade. Looked like maybe he was trying to make it last as well.
We’re talking about the weather… you shook your head and he raised a questioning brow. “Actually,” Danny moved closer to where you stood, glancing at your paper like he hadn’t delivered that order to you plenty of times and had it practically memorized. “I wanted to ask if maybe you wanted to come over for dinner?”
“Dinner at the orchard? Like with your parents or something” you scoffed a little. You ask a man to creampie you one time and he wants to take you home to mom and dad.
“I mean we can invite them if you want” he chuckled himself, “but umm, no I was thinking it would just be us. I live in a townhouse not far away. Then maybe afterwards I can give you a little tour of the place”.
Danny’s hand boldly graced your lower back as he leaned in closer, his chest nearly making context with your shoulders. “To tell you the truth, I’ve been thinking about you nonstop”.
“Thinking about me? Or about our last visit?” You countered, arching your back so that your ass pressed up against his front.
“Both” he sucked in a breath, his hand coming around to grip your hip, but he didn’t pull you any closer, just dug his fingers into the waistband of your skirt. How convenient you’d planned on wearing it today without even knowing he’d be stopping by.
“Well, I’ve got another half an hour before closing. I suppose I can meet you there”. Danny had agreed to your favor, the least you could do was accept a dinner invitation.
Danny lowered his head and placed a kiss at the nape of your neck before taking a step back and composing himself. “I don’t mind waiting”.
“Suit yourself” you shrugged, tearing the page you had written on out of your notebook and folding it in half a few times. You turned around and approached him yourself and he looked excitedly expecting as you came chest to chest with him. “You’re going to help me close up then”.
Reaching around you stuffed the list into his back pocket then placed a chaste kiss to his cheek before returning to cleaning up.
With your belly full of dinner you stepped out of Danny’s truck, the kitten heel of your shoe coming into contact with gravel that broke way to lush grass as far as the eye could see becoming covered in a layer of leaves with the beginnings of the changing season. The air smelled crisp out here, earthy and sweet just like Danny’s beautiful curls.
You tried not to think of that now as he delightedly took your hand, guiding you off into the rows of apple trees that the property had earned its namesake for.
Danny whisked you around the place he’d called home his entire life, explaining to you exactly how growing apple trees worked, the science behind it, and even shared a few stories that had you giggling and taking his hand for more.
“Thanks for coming” he finished his tour with a walk through the barn that held all their order packing supplies. Crates that were easily recognizable as the ones Danny carried over his shoulder from his truck bed to your shop door, and piles of straw to stuff them with to keep the apples from bruising. A large table next to boxes stacked on boxes of mason jars ready to be filled and sent off to their eager recipients.
“Thanks for inviting me” you replied, moving to rest against the table. It was still early in the night, but you’d been up since six baking away before the shop opened, and you’d definitely worn the wrong shoes for this excursion. “Can I tell you something?”
“Always” Danny replied, keeping his distance for now, but staring longingly at you from across the open room.
“I’ve been thinking about you too. I quite enjoyed the last time I saw you”. The lights that were strung up in the pillars reflected in his eyes and you could’ve sworn you saw blush pinken his cheeks.
“That so?” He smirked, pushing off the pillar he had chosen to lean on.
“Was it not obvious?” You added, smiling as he made his way over to you again. “I mean I wasn’t sure what I was expecting when I asked you for that, but you definitely delivered”.
“So,” He was right in front of you now, his eyes scanning over the length of your body as you tried to take some weight off your feet, “I know it’s only been a few days, but do you feel any different?”
You giggled, finding it cute that he wanted to know already. He seemed even more restless than you were to know if the fruits of your labor had produced. “No, nothing yet”.
“Well, maybe, if you want I mean, we could try again? For good measure?”
“Yeah?” You raised your brows and bit your lip, looking around to see if there was anything you should be weary of in the quiet barn. “Right now?” You matched the state of surprise he had when you’d asked him the same thing up in your apartment a few days ago.
“Everyone’s gone home for the night. The only thing left to worry about is how I’m going to focus at work when I remember fucking you on this table”.
“You’ll have to fuck me on this table first for that to happen Danny”.
He breached the last gap between you, cupping your face as your lips smashed together. Both of your hands went to work riding each other of as much clothing as possible, breaking the kiss only for your shirts to be peeled off and tossed somewhere to be retrieved later. Danny pulled you from your lounging position, hooking his thumbs into your skirt and panties together and pulling them down for you to step out of before lifting you back onto the table and connecting your mouths again.
You groaned as he worked to unbutton his pants, already aching to feel him inside you again. Danny parted from you to get his pants off, and when he returned he gripped your breasts, actually covered with a thin lacy bra this time, and pushed you back to lay against the polished wood.
“You’re going to be beautiful pregnant” Danny mused as he pressed kisses to your clavicle and chest.
“Danny please” you whined, reaching around to grab at his bottom, digging your blunt nails into the round of his asscheek.
“You want me to cum in you again?” He muttered against your neck, making his way up to tickle your ear with his nose and nip at your jaw. “Make sure you have my baby, hmm?”
You pulled him down, connecting your lips to his shoulder and then biting down to encourage him to hurry up already. When he entered you again the moan that ripped through you was muffled into his skin, but his voice echoed through the rafters as he quickly set a rough pace.
Danny pried your arms from him so that he could straighten up and get a good look at you from the way your tits bounced in time with his thrusts, to the way he disappeared so easily completely inside you. “Look at this pretty pussy, crying so sweetly for me”.
Your words were beside you, lost in a jumble in your head as the pleasure took over, but you held eye contact with him and nodded vigorously. Danny slowed for just a moment, spitting into his hand and easily finding your swollen sensitive clit with his fingers.
Your back arched off the table and you couldn’t hold back your cries anymore as Danny continued pounding into you and working his fingers at the same time. So close already, but it felt like long enough since the last time you’d had him.
With a newfound burst of energy, you gripped your chest, pinching your hardened nipples through the lace of your bra as your eyes fell shut and you felt your impending release building tight in your stomach. “Fuck Danny, I want to cum together. Please, I need to feel it!”
“Here it is sweetheart, just for you. Take it” he grunted as his hips staggered, and you whined his name one more time as your legs held him in place until both your orgsams were over.
“It definitely worked that time, had to” Danny chuckled as he helped you clean up as best he could.
“Danny?” You turned to him, your chest still feeling tight despite the rest of your body being weakened and wobbly as you stood from the table. “Do you think I’ll be a good mom?”
Danny looked surprised by your question, not that you had asked him of all people, but because there was still any doubt within you. He swallowed hard, trying to decide if what he wanted to say would be taking things too far, but ultimately deciding you guys had been so intimate already, what was a little feelings being added to the mix? “I think I wouldn’t want anyone else to mother one of my children”.
You blushed hard, moving to give him another grateful kiss. “You know, I think you’d make a great Dad too”.
@musicislove3389
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iouinotes · 5 months
Text
All for you | Carl Gallagher
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pairing: Carl Gallagher x female!reader
show: Shameless
warnings: angst, fluff, smut (the reader and Carl are 18 years old in this ff)
summary: Carl is challenged that he can get your money, if he makes you fall in love with him. He loves the challenge until he loves something else more...
authors note: sorry for so many pov switched, I didnt notice it, when I first wrote this ff. Also I haven't had the chance to watch all the seasons yet, but I still hope that Carl's character is somewhat accurate :))
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Carl's pov
"Frank, goddamit youre no help! Why are you even lying around here - oh forget it, I don't want to hear it." Fiona's voice echoes in the room, while the entire Gallagher household is present.
The everyday discussion has been going on for too many minutes in which I could have done something better. The damn question “How do we get enough money?”
Lip at college, Ian with his gangster boyfriend, my shitty sister with her kid and then Liam. This family is screwed. No wonder with a father like Frank.
As the argument continues to escalate, I have the misfortune of sitting right next to him.
"You care to share some money, son?" Of course, my attempts to ignore him are unsuccessful.
"The drug trade doesn't always work out so well, but the weapon thing was something. You could give one to your good old dad, you know what the neighborhood is like." I run my hands through my hair in frustration, shaking my head.
"Just get one or two girls pregnant at school, then all of our problems are solved. But she has to be rich. After all, you want to get your hard work paid." Why the hell am I still here?
"You used to be more enthusiastic about my ideas. If you don't want to do play daddy, then use your charm. When I was your age, my cock was enough and the girls were happy."
"Be fucking quiet, no one wants to hear about your pathetic youth." It's no use, he keeps talking.
"I'm only saying, If you make a rich girl fall in love with you, then you can get money to do something nice for your family."
As I get up and walk away from him I take a breath, the tension caused by this idiot sucks.
Still, his words got me thinking. Maybe there's a new girl who would be perfect for this job...
🔗🔗🔗🔗
Your pov
When I moved here, I wasn't sure what to expect. New school, maybe mean classmates and bad cafeteria food. That I might be able to join a group and make friends, people who laugh with me in class or go to the cinema together on weekends.
I was prepared to get lost in the hallways a few times, perhaps to be peppered with embarrassing questions by the teachers. I had even prepared myself for being called a nerd again and therefore spending my lunch breaks alone.
Then things turned out differently. I met two girls who, although they scared me at first with their need to gossip all the time, are good people at heart.
They studied with me (meaning they told me the newest gossip and braided my hair while I did our homework), showed me the city and its pitfalls. I felt comfortable, prepared and confident for what awaited me here.
Oh lord, was I wrong.
On a Thursday in the middle of the week I met a boy who messed everything up. Literally.
I met him when he was running through the halls twenty minutes late, but stupidly didn't pay attention to me, who was about to cross his path. Let's put it this way, it ended with my books on the floor, my jacket hanging off my shoulder, and his hair being a huge mess.
When he looked at me, I expected to hear something like "sorry" or "I'll help you."
You want to know what he said?
"Cute top. Let me know if you need help taking it off."
Then he got up casually and walked into the classroom across the hallway, a grin on his face as if he had won the Bachelor title.
After this encounter two things became very clear to me. 1. Look both ways when crossing the halls and 2. Stop daydreaming about this boy, even if he has beautiful blue eyes.
The first thing worked better than the second.
After a few descriptions, which actually only consisted of "incredibly impudent and incredibly good-looking", it was explained to me who I was dealing with.
Carl Gallagher. A boy who has lived here since he was born, someone who is rumoured to be more dangerous than the Italian Mafia.
Even though I thought that was exaggerated, I quickly realized that I should stay away from him and that he meant trouble.
Aside from the fact that I wasn't going to be in the situation of talking to him again anyway, my eyes couldn't stop themselves from looking at him.
There was something that defined him, something that made me want to watch a grin creep across his face when he made an inappropriate joke, how he would push his blonde hair back and his eyes would shine mischievously, as if he had already planned the next bank robbery.
I wasn't the only one who found his charisma attractive tho, of course not when he looked like one of God's angels, but he never really seemed interested in other girls. At least not with any serious intent, you might hear him flirting or making comments about his free bed, but you would never saw him in a relationship.
He never held hands or kissed anyone, had a real smile on his face or said sweet things, he was just Carl.
Suggestive, hot-tempered and like a flag that proclaimed: Stay away from me, because you will lose this fight.
I also felt that if I continued to watch him, I would lose the battle for platonic feelings towards him too.
"Please don't tell me you're looking at our school bad boy again. You better be careful, he might want to sell you a gun." Kenzie's voice makes me sigh.
"These are just rumors. Besides, it's not my fault, he's just -" Her hand on my shoulder interrupts me.
"We know, you have heart eyes every time you talk about him. There are so many great guys in this world, I'm not saying at this school, but you choose this one?" Her look says more than a thousand words as she looks over at Carl, who is pushing his way trough the crowd.
"I'm not in love, just curious. Those are two different things, okay?" Her eyebrows raise.
"You mean, curious how his lips would feel on yours?" Her laughter at my expression is lost in the sounds of the cafeteria.
"Very funny." I murmur to her, food forgotten on my plate. When the school bell rings, I stand up and pick up my backpack.
"My class is canceled now, but I'm going to the library. Will you meet me later?" As I walk backwards I see her thumbs up and the hearts she makes in Carl's direction. My reaction is two quick middle fingers.
As I walk out of the school building, I check my phone and tie my hair into a braid. The library is a few blocks away and the cool air makes me shiver.
When I get there and wave to the boy at the entrance, I turn to my favorite department. Call it cliche, but I love romance books. I mean, I don't know what it feels like to love someone with all my heart, but that doesn't mean I don't love reading about it.
The books I actually need are a few rows away. History, literature, everything I am assigned to get for school.
As I stroke over a few tapes and finally pull out a book to read the first few pages, I hear a noise next to me that makes me look up. After all, the library is usually a pretty quiet place.
As I look into the familiar blue eyes, I feel my cheeks turn red.
I have to stop myself from staring.
"Always a book in your hand, I see." Oh his voice hasn't changed. I try to shrug casually as I answer, but I'm not sure if it actually works.
"Aren't you going to be late for class again?" At my sarcasm he smiles, he takes a step in my direction which weakens my control over my voice.
"I thought I would learn something somewhere else too." These coded words make me swallow.
"So, you're here often?" I almost think he's not answering me, but maybe I'm just not concentrating, because I'm paying too much attention to every mole on his face.
"Actually, I didn't even know this shitty town had a library." His words make me laugh, but several requests to be quiet around us, make me whisper in response.
"Then why are you here?" I think my breathing stops as his hand brushes my fingers that are still holding the book.
"You're here." I feel my heart beating nervously faster, I probably look pretty confused and when I notice his grin, something flutters in my chest.
"No interest in books, huh?" Can my answer actually be any lamer?
"Dont worry, I have a newfound interest in you."
🔗🔗🔗🔗🔗
Your pov
If someone had told me a few weeks ago that I would become friends with Carl Gallagher, I would have found the idea absolutely crazy. To be honest, I still find the situation insane, but damn my cheeks still turn just as red when he's with me as they did the first time.
It turns out that he really has no interest in books, even though he visited me at the library almost every day since we met in the romance department.
I've never met anyone like him, funny and couragous without any reserve, always looking for trouble, acting self-confident. But also sweet.
He's like a current that pulls you along, like a wind that blows so hard that you fly with it. He feels like freedom and it is wonderful.
He makes me laugh, he carries my books, plays with my hair, walks home with me. In such a short time I feel like he didn't knock on the doors to my heart, instead he made a home there.
Maybe this is what it feels like to fall in love.
It's not a gentle announcement, more of a realization that makes you incredibly desperate and happy at the same time.
But with him I actually just feel happy.
"Ready, sunshine?" As soon as I come out of the classroom, he comes towards me and takes my bag from me. My heart jumps at his gesture, which feels like winning the Olympics.
"You're crazy, where do you even want to go?" He has something planned but won't tell me. When he puts his arm around my shoulder and I lean against him, I get a few sideways glances from our classmates.
Carl ignores everyone like always, it's crazy but the way he's so confident is pretty attractive to me.
"Does the guy in your cheesy books also tell you where they go on dates? I bet not, so just wait."
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"It feels like you're kidnapping me."
I feel his smile on my back and have to giggle quietly at his response.
"Mh, I plan to do that. But only for a few hours, otherwise my head will roll tomorrow. Your father takes your curfew pretty seriously."
I feel his hands on my hips, guiding me forward, hear the birds chirping around us, but can't figure out where we're going.
"Just a few more steps, baby. Then you'll see." As he promised, it is only a few meters away and when I see a small, calm lake, my mouth falls open in surprise.
"Carl, oh my God! It's wonderful here, thank you so much." I turn around in his grip and look at him, his smile reflects the love that I feel.
"Yeah? How much do you like it?" As his eyes focus on my lips, I feel a tingling feeling in my stomach. Slowly, my fingers stroke his chest and I see him swallow, even though he tries to hide it.
"I think it's incredibly beautiful here, I love it. And...I really like you." I shyly lower my gaze, my words are met with an unknown silence that makes me anxious after a few seconds. But when I look up at him again, he pushes a strand of my hair out of my face.
"To me, you are much more beautiful than this sight. I like you too and I thought that was pretty obvious." I smile broadly, butterflies fly around in my stomach and as the sun illuminates his face, I feel incredibly happy.
"You're so nice to me, I don't know how I deserve this." An expression crosses his face, but when I blink he smiles at me again.
"After all, you are the first person who explained the topics for the history exam to me, without giving up." My hand cups his cheek.
"I wouldn't give you up, you've become too important to me." As I stand on my tiptoes, our lips brush, his hand is on my back and pushes me closer to him.
"You are an angel." With his words we kiss and everything else around us blurs, only he remains. Everything is unimportant except him, standing in front of me, so handsome, that it is difficult not to look at him.
"Come on, let's go for a swim." As he pulls me towards the lake, you can hear our loud laughter in the air.
🔗🔗🔗🔗
Carl's pov
"When are you going to collect the money? You've been with her for the last three months and nothing has come of it." Frank's annoying voice frustrates me more than anything else.
"I am working on it. Besides, she's actually really caring." When I see the dismissive hand gesture in my direction, I roll my eyes.
"You are completely wrong, son. A person is there for a certain period of time, but money? Money accompanies you throughout your life, especially if you buy beautiful bottles of the best alcohol."
I sink into the sofa, but want to turn away when I feel his hand on my shoulder.
"If you put it off any longer, it will be harder to get out of the situation. Girls your age will start planning to get married, if you stay with them for months."
But when he leaves, I feel conflicted. Can I really do this to her?
🔗🔗🔗🔗
Carl's pov
"Happy birthday!" Her voice makes me jump and, confused, I turn around on the bench to look into her excited eyes.
"Why are you jumping around like that? Are you practicing for cheerleading?" I'm making fun of her, but the smile on her face doesn't fade.
"No, idiot. I'm just really curious to see how you react to your gift." My breath catches for a moment as I take in her words.
"You got me something?" When she leans forward and gives me a kiss on the cheek while pressing the bag into my lap, I start to smile too.
"Open!" Her encouragement breaks me out of my trance and I quickly tear up the paper, looking at the tickets with wide eyes.
"But...these tickets cost a fortune? Did you sell your liver or something?" When I look at her, she smiles back at me.
"I talked to my dad and he agreed that you deserve something special for your birthday. Are you happy?" As I look at the cards, I suddenly feel a pang in my heart. It must be showing on my face, because her happiness is also fading away.
"Do you not like it? I thought it was your favorite team? I can get you something else." When I look at her, I quickly pull her between my legs and kiss her.
"Shh, breathe angel. It's perfect, thank you. And well, your father. It's just a lot of money." Her hands play with the fabric of my shirt.
"You always say that. Do you have problems at home, with money, I mean? I've never been to your place, I don't even know where you live." What should I say to her now?
"It's okay." Her raised eyebrows look at me reproachfully, making me sigh.
"Each of us has to contribute a certain amount of money every month and if I don't sell fucking drugs, it will be tight." Her astonished look makes me pause and I gently stroke her arms.
Before I can say anything else, she kisses me. I look at her in surprise.
"What's that for?" She smiles shyly, looks at the floor for a moment before looking at me again.
"You're just so honest, I admire that. And that you've never asked me for anything, you know. That I lend you some money."
Fuck. Shit. What do I say?
"Yeah, I mean, I don't want to burden you with that-" but she interrupts me again, her concentrated expression makes me curious.
"What's going on in your pretty head?" My hands wander over her sides.
"It's the end of the month, how much are you missing?" I frown in confusion, but when she doesn't let it go, I tell her the amount.
"$240, the rest I earned by helping in the neighborhood." But despite the high sum, she just nods, looks at me again and gives me another kiss.
"Okay, maybe I'll be your sugar mommy." I have to laugh at the absurdity, but the longer she grins at me, the more I think she means it.
"What, are you serious? Thats fucking crazy, how am I supposed to pay you back?" Her eyes look around, but since the classroom is relatively empty during recess, she finds herself between my legs again. She slowly lets her hand wander down my stomach until she squeezes my cock through my clothes and I close my eyes in delight.
"Hmm, maybe you could help me relax between classes." Her eyes sparkle mischievously and I look at her with a grin.
"Anything you want, sugar."
Let's put it this way, the next few weeks the breaks were filled with kissing in the back corner of the classroom, dry humping on the toilet or Carl doing his best to pleasure me with his tongue in the caretaker's room, like now.
"Ahh-, Carl. I'll cum if you keep that up." His head has disappeared under my skirt, his fingers are stroking the bare skin of my thigh and the sinful movements of his tongue are making me see stars.
As he adds a finger and runs it over my folds, slowly until he inserts it, he looks at me again.
"You coming for me? Yeah, be a good girl or do you want to get caught by the old janitor grandpa spreading your legs for me?" As my eyes roll back, he pumps another finger into me, scissoring it thoroughly and hitting that sweet spot inside me.
When I moan loudly, he grins.
"You like that? Just wait until I bury my cock in you and you cant walk straight afterwards, so that everyone will notice." When his finger presses my clitoris, I see white and as I come I try to muffle the sounds with my hand over my mouth.
When I get off my high, I blindly search for my panties. But Carl beats me first.
"Hmm, no. I think I'll keep it as a little souvenir. Maybe you can get it back when you come to my house later." I don't know what surprises me more: that he wants me to run around exposed at school or that I'm invited to his house for the first time.
"Really? I'd like to come." But he interprets my words differently, his fingers stroke my entrance again and I moan and squeeze my eyes shut.
"Don't worry, I'll take care of it. Very well and for a very long time." When the bell rings, he lets go of me and I whimper slightly.
"Carl-" but he interrupts me by pulling back and straightening my skirt.
"I'm sure our agreement was between recess, now it's class time. Come on, I'll make it up to you later."
🔗🔗🔗🔗
Your pov
As we ride the bus toward his home, I take his hand and intertwine our fingers.
"But don't expect a mansion or any of that shit." Ever since we left school, he has been bad-mouthing his hometown every free minute he has.
"Don't worry, I'll only have eyes for you anyway." The statement makes him laugh and he relaxes a little. As we get out and walk a little way along the street, we are watched by a few people.
"Why are so many people staring at us?" When he look at me, I'm obviously confused.
"Not everyone here wears designer clothes that cost several thousand dollars. If you come here more often, they'll call you a princess." Giggling, I slap him on the arm and as we climb the stairs to his house, I look around curiously.
"So this is where you grew up." His shoulders shrug casually, but I see him trying to gauge my reaction.
"Yeah, where in the world could it be nicer?" I laugh at his sarcastic comment and we both smile at each other as we enter the house.
I hear him calling into the house, then a girl with red hair appears, carrying a baby.
"You must be Debbie, the little one is so adorable." When I hold out my hand, she just looks at Carl with her eyebrows still raised.
"What did you do to end up with her? Also my daughter's name is Franny and yes, I know condoms exist." Surprised, I don't know exactly how to answer, so I leave it to Carl.
"My tongue is magic, Debs. Too bad you won't find out yourself anytime soon, Derek has moved away. By the way, Franny seems hungry." I'm unsure of the dynamic between the two of them, as she turns away and walks away, I resist the urge to say goodbye.
"That was...nice." His hand pulling me towards the stairs distracts me.
"She's a real ray of sunshine, come on. The others aren't back yet, so you can be as loud as you want this time."
When we get upstairs, he leads me into his room and I look at the magazines, posters and little things scattered everywhere.
"Cleaning and you are definitely not friends, huh?" I laugh at my joke, but Carl has other plans than letting me inspect his room.
He puts his hands on my hips and pushes me against the closed door, my breath catches as his eyes find mine.
"Do you want to keep playing housemaid? Then put on a damn maid costume, otherwise keep your eyes on me." At his stern voice, I press my thighs together and, grinning, I drag my fingers across his chest once again.
"Would you like that? Me on the floor, my ass in the air, and no underwear? Oh wait, what a coincidence that I'm not wearing any now either." His eyebrows raise, I see his eyes darken with lust.
"Let's save this little fantasy for another time, right now I just want to see you on my cock." Smiling, I lean towards him and start kissing him. I loosen the belt I bought him and pull him closer to me by his waistband.
"I think I did well today. After all, I didn't complain about getting through the school day without underwear. Do I get my reward now?" Grinning, he takes off my top and looks at my lace bra.
"Everything you want." He drops to his knees in front of me and kisses his way along my thighs, lifts my skirt and presses a kiss to my folds. Slowly he moves his tongue higher and kisses my stomach, I lean my head against the door.
"Does that feel good?" I just nod, burying my hand in his hair as he puts his mouth on me again.
"Ahh- Carl, I want you now." His fingers stretch me, the wetness running down my legs, making me tremble.
"You got me, sweetheart. What do you want me to do?" His head lifts to look at me and I place my fingers around his chin, seeing the moisture on his lips.
"I've been prepared enough, I want your dick now. Let's see if it's as magical as your tongue." Grinning, he stands up and lifts me up, lays me on my back on his bed and lies down between my legs.
He places a few kisses on my legs, then stretches up on his elbows so he's hovering over me. Then he kisses my cheek and my lips, lets his tongue slide over them and lets me taste myself.
I run my fingers through his blonde hair and pull his body closer to me. When he pulls a condom out of his pocket, I hold my breath.
"You still want to do this?" His look calms all the worries I had. I nod, stroking my fingers over his heated cheek.
"I trust you." His next kiss is passionate, his hands gliding over my body, caressing every bit of exposed skin. I lift my back off the mattress and let him take off my bra. His head lowers to run his tongue over my navel. As he sucks on them, I moan softly.
One of his hands starts kneading my breasts and when I try to take off my skirt, he stops me.
"Leave it on, okay?" I kiss him in response.
His hand strokes my sides and my own hands rest on his shoulders as he presses the tip of his cock against my entrance.
"Ready, baby?" When I agree, he presses himself into me and for a moment I have to squint my eyes because it hurts.
Then I feel several gentle kisses on my cheek, my forehead and my lips. His attempts to distract me work and as I become more and more relaxed, he slides further into me.
Slowly he presses his hips against me, the stretch so great that I can feel him all the way into my stomach. He waits for a moment, whispering sweet things in my ears until they get dirty and I beg him to move.
My hands wrap around his shoulders as he thrusts into me for the first time, the air around us thickening as he grunts and a moan escapes me.
"You're doing so well, God, you feel so good." His hips move faster and faster, the pleasure spreads through my body and the wetter I feel, the easier he slides in and out of me.
"You are perfect, my perfect girl. Do you feel good?" His hands stroke my skin, gently pinching my nipples, playing with them and making me squirm beneath him.
As he grips my hips and pushes himself harder into me, my head starts to spin. My noises get louder.
"Carl- god, please go harder" And so he does, the room is filled with the sounds of our bodies and sweat forms on us.
"Baby, do you want to ride me? You have such pretty thighs." I nod and when he pulls out of me I can't think clearly, I just want him to fill me up again.
He leans back and as I stabilize myself on his shoulders, I sink back onto him. The feeling is even better that my eyes roll back. His hands grasp my hips, helping me move.
"That's right, baby. You're doing so good, riding my cock like the good girl you are." At his words, I tighten my grip on him and he curses as I move harder on top of him.
The faster I go, the more exhausting it becomes, but as I feel a knot forming in my stomach, I ride him so fast just to chase my pleasure.
Then suddenly as he hits my spot inside me over and over again, I go boneless on him and melt in his arms. My come drips all over him and as he continues to fuck me, reaching his own climax, I tremble in his grip.
"Just a few more thrusts, baby. Ah, keep holding on to me." Even though I have lost my strength, I move on him a few more times until he comes and I lay my head on his shoulder.
We're both breathing heavily, but everything feels so good, so warm and comfortable, that I don't want to move a single muscle anymore.
He carefully pulls out of me, I moan slightly at the loss. He gently lays me back on his pillow and gives me a kiss before throwing the condom away.
He pulls the blanket over us and puts his arm around me to pull me closer. I snuggle up to him and feel so safe that I quickly press my lips to his skin.
"That was wonderful." He also presses a kiss on my hair.
"That was incredible, you are the best. I can't wait to do it again." Our embrace becomes tighter. For a moment the room is silent.
When I whisper his name, he hums in response.
"I know it's cliche to say something like that after the first time. But I just feel it so much that it hurts to keep it to myself. I love you." As I lie on his chest I hear his heart stop for a moment and then it starts beating much faster.
"I- no one has ever said that to me before." When I raise my head and look at him, he doesn't look at me. Instead, his eyes are fouced on the ceiling.
"I just want you to know. I don't want to put any pressure on you to say it. I just thought you should hear it. You know, now that things are serious between us." Again he is silent and I start to worry, but then he looks at me.
"You are truly the most incredible person I have ever met. I consider myself very lucky." He smiles at me, then leans down and we kiss for a moment. It feels like heaven.
We lay there for a few minutes, just cuddling and telling each other how our day was. We laugh and as the sun slowly sets, I start to get dressed.
"I wish I could stay here with you. But you know what my parents are like." He leans back on his elbow, watching me get dressed and contact my parents to pick me up.
"Hmm, I think we would do it again. If you stayed here tonight, I mean." I smile at him, sit down on his bed for a moment and ruffle his hair.
"I wouldn't mind, darling." The nickname makes him blush and when he leans forward to kiss me, I playfully push him away.
"I have to go, are you coming down with me?" He nods, feigning annoyance, and as we walk out of his room, he puts his arm around my waist and pulls me towards him.
He steals his kiss there, but more than that he steals my heart.
We smile at each other and for this moment everything is just perfect. We go downstairs and just as we are back in the living room we hear a door open loudly.
A visibly drunk man stumbles in. I see Carl tense up next to me, staring at the stranger angrily. I quietly lean towards him to whisper my question.
"Who is that?" When he rolls his eyes, I get a bad feeling.
"That's my father, great isn't it?" The man in front of me is dirty, has unkempt hair and an unpleasant smile on his face.
"Should I ask my parents if you can stay overnight?" My gaze is more focused on the man than on Carl.
But he just shakes his head, and just as he is about to answer, the man sees us too.
"Oh, my son! It's so good to see you, not really, but I'll take your bed. Fiona has mine. Is that your little girlfriend? She looks expensive, very good catch. How much money did you rip her off? I hope it's worth it to go through all this drama." I frown in confusion, but when Carl freezes next to me, I become uncertain.
"What does he mean by that?" This time my gaze is directed solely at Carl.
"Nothing, he's drunk-" but before he can finish, the man does.
"How rude of me, I am Frank. The proud father of this child, at least one of my descendants has made something of himself and used his talent. He has my good genes, the good looks and I teach him the tricks. Like exploiting an innocent, very very rich girl for money. It doesn't bother you, I hope? You seem to have enough, but I hope my son returns the favor to you."
The words catch me so off guard that I can't move. I don't believe anything this man says until I see the guilty look on Carl's face.
"W-what? That's a lie, right? Tell me he's lying, Carl." As he runs his hands through his hair and tries to answer me, Frank speaks again.
"Oh, you haven't confessed to her yet? My fault, I should have waited. I didn't think you would humiliate this girl for so long. I told you this wouldn't end well." But Carl ignores him completely when he notices me moving away from him.
"Wait, I'm sorry. It wasn't like that-" But I interrupt him, already feeling tears gathering in my eyes.
"So what happened? You act like you don't want any money from me and-" Carl's look becomes frustrated.
"You offered me your money! You said if I matched it, everything would be fine for you." I'm almost speechless, is this all a nightmare?
"Are you serious? I offered it to you because you weren't asking for it. And now I find out it was your plan from the beginning? You just talked to me, just spent time with me to get my money? Who does that?" Frank's voice intervenes.
"I invented the strategy, my dear. It's turning out to be quite useful." But I don't pay attention to him, I just look at Carl.
"Please, I'm sorry. Yes, it was meant that way in the beginning, but it's different now. I-" My tears flow when he admits it and any feeling of happiness disappears. All that remains is betrayal and sadness.
"You what? What am I saying, you were probably happy that I only wanted you in return. I'm such an idiot. You didn't just take my money, you took my first time too!" As he comes towards me, I step back.
"Listen to me, I didnt force you to do all this for me. You wanted it." The more he talks the more desperate I feel and the greater my anger becomes.
"You idiot! I thought you liked me! I thought you finally noticed me too." My sobs get louder and my vision blurs. When he tries to grab my face, I slap him.
"My cue to go. I can see that you're sorting it out between yourselves just fine." Frank's footsteps fading away are nothing compared to the sound of my heart breaking.
"I like you, I really like you. At first it wasn't my intention to start a relationship with you, but then I got to know you and-" Every word that escapes him is only worse.
"Stop talking! You know what the worst thing is that I liked you for so long before you even talked to me. And I thought it was a miracle when you first spoke to me in the libary. I should have listened to the others, you only care about yourself!" I wipe the tears from my cheeks, wishing I could be anywhere but here.
Then before he can say anything, I turn around and run out of the house. But I hear him following me.
"Wait! Don't just walk away, I have to get this straight. Hey!" He catches me, turns me around and holds my tear-stained face in his hands.
"I'm an idiot, I know that. I'm sorry for hurting you. I- God, I love you. You hear me? I love you too. Please stay." But I just shake my head and try to free myself from his grip.
"How do I know if that isn't a lie too? You've betrayed me, I can't talk to you now." When my car pulls up, I get in without turning around. I don't look back, even though his loud curse can be heard throughout the whole neighborhood.
🔗🔗🔗🔗🔗
Your pov
I spend the next few days without saying much, but I cried almost the whole time.
I miss him incredibly, not a day has gone by in the last few months when I haven't seen him and now I've been alone for three days.
I wish he was here, but on the other hand I am so hurt and feel terrible. He is the reason for this.
I wish I had never found out. I wish he had never done it, never lied to me. Didn't use me for money, but worst of all, I don't know if he even likes me.
Today is the first day that I go back to school. Even though I put on make-up, choose a nice outfit and listen to my favorite songs to distract myself, I can only think of him.
His blonde hair, his beautiful eyes, the way his lips felt. How he felt inside me. Then I remember that he loves me and how he finally said it, something I have wanted to hear for so long.
But then I think about what he did and everything feels empty again.
As I enter the school, my friends come to meet me. They already know what happened, they all hug me and I feel a little better.
Until I see him.
And he sees me too. It takes all my effort to avert my gaze. To get my books out of my cupboard, but then I have to stop because he is not standing next to me offering to carry them.
I take it myself, close my door, but before I can go any further, he is standing in front of me. My heart stops. Oh, how his eyes shine.
"Do you need help?" His eyes focus on the books and I have to swallow several times before I can answer.
"No, I have to go to class now." But as I try to walk past him, he stops me.
"You don't answer my texts, you don't call me back. I'm not allowed into your house and you avoid me at school. What can I do? Please tell me what I need to do, so you forgive me." I laugh, but it is without humor.
"What can you do? Move."
I can see his shock, but he still doesn't step aside.
"Can't you hear me? I said-" but he walks toward me until I'm forced to lean my back against the lockers.
His eyes find mine.
"I can't sleep. And when I do, I dream of you. There's a - a hole in my heart that only you can fill. It hurts and I hate not being with you. It's even worse to be here, when you don't look at me the way you usually do. You don't smile at me, God, you don't look like you're in love with me anymore. It's hell."
Tears gather in my eyes, his words are so desperate, it hurts to see him like this.
"Maybe you should have thought about that before you took advantage of me. Before you slept with me." A tear runs down my cheek and I know my mascara is smudging.
"I know, I know. And I feel so bad, I'll do anything to make it right. Just tell me."
When I look into his eyes, my heart also hurts.
"Move, Carl. I can't see you now." This time he lets go of me and I go to class with tears in my eyes.
🔗🔗🔗🔗
Your pov
It's been four weeks since we last spoke, but it doesn't hurt any less to see him. Even if I don't let him talk to me, he doesn't give up.
He puts flowers in my locker, chocolate, and notes full of apologies and sweet promises.
Everything warms my heart, but it still feels like this money thing is unresolved between us. I know now that he likes me, very much in fact, as he makes it clear, but that doesn't change the real problem.
That he used me for my money.
As I leave school that day, I feel exhausted and, as I often do, I wish I had his arms around me.
Holding me tight, his lips kissing me, loving me.
As I wait for my father's car, I suddenly hear his familiar throat clearing. With my heart pounding, I turn around and see him smiling uncertainly at me.
"I know what I had to do and now I've done it. Here." He gives me an envelope and I take it uncertainly.
"Carl, your letters are flattering, but-" He quickly interrupts me.
"No, it's something else. Open it." The deja vu hits me unexpectedly and I slowly open the envelope, the content leaves me speechless.
"What is that supposed to be?" It's rhetorical, but I ask anyway.
"All the money I owe you. What you've kindly given me, I pay it back. Every cent. You can count." He looks so proud, I almost have to laugh.
"How- did you rob a bank?" He grins contentedly at my reaction.
"An old grandma." This time I laugh and he comes closer to me, slowly taking my hands.
"No, seriously. How did you do that?" He looks at me lovingly.
"Working in the kitchen every day after school, I found a part-time job with Fiona. The payment is bad, but it was worth it. I understand that money was the problem and well, that I wasn't honest to you." As I lower the envelope, we look at each other.
"Promise, no more secrets?"
He smiles and suddenly the world is a brighter place.
"Promise, but we continue one of our agreements." I raise my eyebrows questioningly, seeing him grin as he leans toward me, his breath brushing against my lips and he whispers:
"I'll still spend my breaks with you in the janitor's room."
The laughter that escapes me gets interrupted, when his lips meet mine.
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penmansparadise · 6 months
Text
Tommy Shelby ~ Dust in the Wind
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*I DON'T OWN THIS GIF* *CREDIT TO GIF OWNER*
*I do not give anyone permission to repost my work in any way (translations included)*
Pairing: Tommy Shelby x Fem!Reader
Word Count: 5.5k
Warnings: Discusses infant loss/stillborn, ANGST, mild language, possibly ooc Tommy
a/n: Alright, well, it has been quite some time since I've posted on this site. First, let me get a few things out. 1) This is the most self-indulgent piece I have ever written, so if you don't want to read it, please just keep on scrolling. 2) This does not mean that I am ready to start taking requests again or that I will be regularly writing again. As stated before, this is a very self-indulgent piece because I just experienced the loss of my daughter, who was born prematurely. It has completely wrecked me, and I have just finally decided to start writing again. I am trying to navigate my loss and thought maybe writing would help. It did, and although this piece is a little darker than I usually write, it was therapeutic, and I wanted to share it because I am proud of my work. I did write it as a reader insert, but if you all read it and think it would be better as an OC story, I'll change it. Anyway, this is the first time I've ever written for Tommy, so please forgive the potential out-of-character actions he has in this story. Also, it has been a bit since I watched season 3 so forgive any mistakes. I took some liberties with the story by adding different children for Tommy and Y/N and some of the things that happened in the show. Well, I hope you enjoy this story, and would really like to know what you all think.
§
Y/N was no stranger to death.  It was Small Heath, for goodness’ sake.  Death practically ran in the water.  Being deeply entrenched in the Shelby family since she was a young girl only made her acquaintance with death’s steely grip all that much closer.  She had been to more than enough funerals in her 29 years of living.  She was present at the cemetery when her father finally drank himself into his grave, she was there to mourn when consumption took her mother, and she showed up to support Ada when they buried Freddie.  Y/N was always there when any of the Peaky boys were killed in the line of action, and she even showed up for her elderly childhood neighbor’s funeral.  But this time, it was different.  She wasn’t gathered in the woods on the outskirts of Small Heath to mourn for someone else.  There wasn’t a stranger tucked away in the wagon standing in front of her.  The Shelbys weren’t gathered to bid farewell to a distant relative or friend.  The Lees weren’t generously providing this funeral for a price.  No, the whole Shelby and Lee families were there for her and Tommy this time.
            The heat from the flames washed over Y/N’s face, making her sweat a little, but she didn’t move.  She wanted to be as close as she could possibly be.  If she had it her way, she would have jumped into the wagon and let the flames swallow her whole, but Tommy’s hand tightly gripping hers anchored her to the ground.  It had only been a few days.  It couldn’t have been more than four, but with how time was moving, it felt like a lifetime had passed.  The flames roared on, and Tommy squeezed her hand a little tighter, causing Y/N’s throat to tighten.  She swallowed down the sadness trying to claw its way out of her.  Y/N wasn’t going to break down in front of all these people.  She didn’t want to cry at all, for that matter.  It felt like it had been an endless stream of tears, and Y/N was done.  If only her aching heart would catch the memo.  Y/N’s eyes traveled the length of the flames until they landed on the little plaque one of the Lee boys carved for the wagon.  “Lily Eleanora Shelby,” it read, and suddenly, the sadness returned with a vengeance.  Y/N shut her eyes, and the events that led to this day played in her head.  She was supposed to be happy.  She was supposed to be full of unadulterated joy.  She was supposed to be cradling her newborn baby girl.  But she wasn’t.  Instead, she held onto her husband’s hand like a lifeline as she watched her daughter’s wagon burn.  One day.  That’s all it took to completely destroy her.
            Even as she stood there, watching the flames devour her daughter’s wagon, she still recounted everything she did four days ago, trying to figure out what could have possibly led to this result.  Four days ago, she was a cheery 29-week pregnant woman.  A stay-at-home mom who, with the help of their maid Frances, cared for her and Tommy’s three-year-old son, Benjamin.  That day had started like any other.  Tommy was already out, and she could hear Frances chasing Ben around his room.  The little boy’s giggles echoed through the house, and she remembers smiling as she slid a hand over her round tummy.  Y/N couldn’t wait for Ben to be a big brother.  She got ready like any other day and eventually made her way to her son, who welcomed her presence with a hug and a kiss.  The little boy rubbed her tummy, planted a chaste kiss to her navel, and smiled at her. 
            “I just wanted to let my little brother or sister know that I love them too, Mommy,” he had said, causing Y/N’s heart to clench.  Even at three, he was a charmer, just like his father.  She knelt to be at eye level with her son and lifted her hand to cradle his face.
            “You’re going to be a wonderful big brother; do you know that?”
            “Of course I will be, Mommy.  I’ve been practicing sharing my toys with Frances and making sure I listen real good to you and daddy.”  He said, standing up straighter to exhibit his full height.  “Frances says I need to be a good example for the new baby, or else Santa won’t bring me any presents this year for Christmas.  How outrageous is that, Mommy!?”
            Y/N stifled a laugh before brushing Ben’s hair back and looking up to see Frances smirking from her spot by Ben’s block tower. 
“I’m sure Santa won’t forget about you this year, honey.”  She told her son.  The boy gave her a toothy grin before trotting off to continue playing with his blocks. 
Y/N returned to her feet and watched Ben for another minute before retreating to the new nursery.  It was already put together, and she often found herself hiding away in that room.  She glided her hand over the bassinet and let the soft fabric tickle her palm.  The walls were already decorated with paintings of horses, some of which came from Ben, who insisted that his younger sibling have them.  She sat on the rocking chair and gently rubbed her hands over her stomach, earning a little kick from her unborn child.  A soft laugh fell from her lips as she looked down at her growing bump.
“Sorry to disturb you, love.”  She whispered, her hands still rubbing slow circles.  “Mommy just wanted to let you know she loves you very much.  And so does your big brother, who is very excited to meet you.”
Another kick came.
“You’re excited to meet him, too?  I’ll have to let him know.”
“Daddy loves you too, just in case Mommy forgot to mention that.”  Tommy’s voice came from the doorway, causing Y/N to look up.  He gave her a full smile, the one he reserved only for her and their son, and it fell over her like a warm blanket.
“Mommy was just about to get there.  Had daddy not interrupted her,” she said.  Tommy hummed in response as he floated across the room to kneel before her.  He looked up at Y/N through his lashes and said, “Sure you were,” before removing her hands and planting a soft kiss where they had just lay.
“Daddy can’t wait to meet you,” he whispered against her stomach, his warm breath radiating throughout her body.  Tommy looked up at Y/N before standing and pressing his lips to hers.  When he pulled away, a smile matching his spread across her face.  She was beaming.  She had dreamt of being in this position for many years as a teenager, and now it was real.  Thomas Shelby was hovering over her very pregnant figure in their unborn second child’s nursery.  Their lively three-year-old son’s muffled laughter ricocheted off the hallway walls.  It was everything she ever wanted, and she was so happy.
“What’s that look for?”  Tommy asked, pulling her out of her thoughts.
“Nothing,” she hummed, gaining a skeptical eyebrow raise from her husband.  “I just love you.  That’s all.”
Tommy nestled his face into the crook of her neck, peppering kisses along the exposed skin.  Then he pulled back, looked into her eye, and said, “I love you more than you know, Y/N.”
He gave her one more swift kiss before standing and sauntering out of the room with a smirk.  The rest of the day went by like any day usually went.  She sat around and read, played with Ben, ate lunch at 1100, put Ben down for a nap at 1230, and then went back to reading.  Tommy was in and out, balancing work from home and the office.  She could tell that day was extra tiring from how he sighed every time he left the house.  It was after Tommy left for the last time of the day that Y/N got the idea to wander down to the kitchen.  When she entered, the cooks were hard at work peeling and slicing vegetables.
“Good evening, Mrs. Shelby,” the head chef began, “is there anything we can do for you, ma’am?”
Y/N clasped her hands behind her back as she rocked back and forth on her heels like a guilty toddler.  “Um,” she said, “actually, yes, there is.”  She stepped into the kitchen and moved her hands to rest on her stomach.  “I was thinking that maybe tonight you and the rest of the staff could take the evening off and allow me to cook dinner.”
The head chef’s eyes widened at her statement.  Everyone else stilled for a brief moment, waiting for him to speak.  “Oh,” he stammered, “b-but, Mrs. Shelby, and please forgive me if I am overstepping, but shouldn’t you be resting instead of cooking?”  His eyes dipped down to her protruding abdomen before landing back on her face. 
“Resting?  I rest all day.  Really,” Y/N said, waving the chef’s comment off, “it would be nothing.  I actually miss being in the kitchen.  It’ll be nice.  Therapeutic.”  She couldn’t miss the wide-eyed stares from everyone in the room, but she chose to ignore them.  When they didn’t move to leave, she stepped forward, placed a gentle hand on the head chef’s back, and began leading him out of the kitchen. 
“Trust me,” she said, “I’ll be fine.  Thank you for your concern, though.”
Once she ushered the staff out, she began working on dinner.  It had been a long time since she cooked, but it came back to her like riding a bicycle.  She couldn’t escape the excitement that bubbled inside of her as she fell into a groove preparing dinner for her family again.  She boiled the potatoes the staff had peeled, sauteed the peppers and onions, and braised the beef that was in the refrigerator.  About an hour into cooking, a dull pain emanated from her lower back and into her hips.  The dull pain slowly morphed into a pressure that she just assumed was normal 29-week pregnancy symptoms.  It’s just the baby getting comfortable.  The baby is just moving around and pressing a little harder than usual on my cervix.  She ignored the feelings and finished cooking before asking the kitchen staff for help to bring the meal into the dining room.  Once the table was set, Frances went and fetched her boys, alerting them that not only had Y/N cooked dinner, but she had also served it.  She greeted the boys in the doorway of the dining room and gave each a kiss before they all sat to eat.  That pain returned in her lower back and hips, making it hard to get comfortable in her seat.  She let out a low groan of discomfort, and Tommy placed his hand over hers to gain her attention.
“Are you okay?” he asked, his eyebrows knitted together.  She swallowed another groan that threatened to come out and nodded with a strained smile.  Y/N could tell that her weak answer did nothing to reassure Tommy, but he didn’t press her. 
“How do you like the meal?”  She asked, doing her best to not sound strained against the constant pressure she felt pulsing between her legs.
Before Tommy could answer, Ben nodded with enthusiasm and stuffed a heaping scoop of mashed potatoes into his mouth.  “I love it, Mommy!  This is the best dinner I’ve ever had,” he said through his mouthful of food. 
Y/N smiled, but it must have looked more like a grimace because this time, Tommy stood up and moved to her side.  “Y/N,” he said, placing his hands on her shoulders, “are you sure you’re okay?  Should I have Frances phone the doctor?” 
Y/N grabbed his hand and squeezed it as she looked up to her husband.  “I’m fine, darling.  I promise.  Let’s just finish dinner.”  She pulled his hand to her mouth and pressed a kiss to his knuckles.  Then, using her head, she motioned for Tommy to sit again.  He stared at her for another moment, the line on his forehead deepening, before sighing and retaking his seat.  She kept her discomfort under wraps for the remainder of dinner because Tommy didn’t mention anything until after they had put Ben down for the night and were about to crawl into bed.  The pressure and pain had only grown in that short time, and she was beginning to get nervous.  She was sitting on the edge of their bed, eyes shut, and taking some deep breaths when Tommy’s hands landed on her thighs.  She could feel him kneeling between her legs, but she didn’t open her eyes.  She didn’t want to admit that her anxiety was consuming her or that the pain and pressure had turned into abdominal cramps.  It wasn’t until she suddenly felt the bed beneath her sopping wet that she looked at Tommy.  He looked down and saw the fluid dripping from her nightgown and their duvet before his gaze landed on her.  She could see his mouth moving, but his voice was drowned out by her rapidly beating heart.  Something is wrong.  She thought.  This shouldn’t be happening.  I’m too early.  Tommy pushed away the hair that had begun sticking to her sweaty forehead, and then ran out of the room.  His voice was distant, but she could have sworn he said something about calling Polly and Ada.  She wasn’t sure because all she could focus on was the sharp pain that was puncturing her abdomen and the immense pressure building between her legs.  Before she could comprehend what was happening, Tommy scooped her up and lay her on their bed.  What about the sheets?  I’m going to ruin the bed. 
She must have said those thoughts aloud because Tommy quickly said, “Don’t worry about the bed, love.  We’ll get another one if we have to.”  The pain was only getting worse, and she had to shut her eyes and bite her tongue to prevent a groan from escaping.  She didn’t know how much time had passed before Polly and Ada came rushing into the room, shoving Tommy into the hallway.  When it was just the three of them, Y/N finally let out a guttural moan.  She didn’t remember this much pain when she gave birth to Ben.  Something is wrong.  Something is not right.  Those words chanted in her head like a mantra.  Polly set her up on her bed while Ada used a wet towel to wipe away the sweat beading on her face.
“Just breathe, Y/N,” Polly chirped soothingly in her ear. “Ada and I are here.  We’re going to take care of you.”
Anxiety coursed through her veins and unfurled in her gut when the pressure between her legs began to increase.  She tried to cross her legs and prevent the inevitable from happening, but Polly and Ada wouldn’t let her.  Tears of pain and fear streamed down her cheeks.  She wanted to scream at them to stop and let her try to stop this urge to push.  But the pain and pressure were too much, and the only sound that came out of her mouth was a low groan. 
She could feel Polly’s hand between her legs, and the words “crowning” and “push” floated to her ears.  Ada took her hand, and Y/N tried with every fiber in her body to not push, but her body had other plans.  She held her breath and begged her body to stop forcing her baby out of her, but it was too late.  The pressure was building.  Climbing to a peak that felt like it would rip her in half until suddenly, she felt relief.  Her heavy breathing filled the room, and she waited impatiently for the tell-tale cries of her baby, but they never came.  She opened her eyes and looked at Polly and then at Ada.  They both just stared back at her, and Y/N knew something wasn’t right. 
“Y/N,” was all Polly whispered, and she knew.  The silence was deafening.  She lay there, completely exposed, bleeding, and sweaty, and waited, but her baby gave her nothing.  Her eyes shut and then, without any strength to stop it, let out a crushing wail.  The tears overflowed, and when she opened her eyes again, she watched the door burst open and Tommy storm in.  He moved over to where Polly held their baby and looked down at their motionless child.
“Why isn’t she crying?”  He asked. 
It was a girl.  I had a baby girl.  Even through her tears and sobs, she could see Tommy’s chest rising and falling at a rapid pace.
“Why isn’t she fucking crying, Pol!?”  Tommy’s voice boomed through the room and mixed with her loud cries to create the saddest song.  She could see the distress in the slant of his shoulders and how he ran a hurried hand through his cropped hair.  He didn’t wait for anyone to answer his question before bounding across the room and landing on the floor next to her.  His hands found hers, and she could feel them shaking.  His lips pressed to Y/N’s forehead and cheeks, absorbing only some of the tears that continued to cascade down her face. 
“It’s okay,” he whispered, but the way his voice cracked in her ear told her he didn’t even believe those words.  “I love you, Y/N.”  She could hear that his words dripped with the same despair she felt.  “You know that, ey?  I love you, and it’s going to be okay.”
Tommy’s words echoed in her head as she watched the fire blaze around her daughter’s wagon.  She wanted to be convinced that his words were true, but she couldn’t bring herself to believe them.  When the funeral finished, they all returned to Arrow House, where the wake was being held.  Even being in a crowded room surrounded by family, Y/N felt alone.  Her whole body was like radio static – unfeeling.  Tommy’s hand was on her lower back the entire time, but she still felt like she was floating away.  Nothing could tether her to this reality anymore.
Several people approached her and Tommy, and with every person, a new empty comment emerged. 
“I’m so sorry for your loss,” which loosely translates to, “Boy, that sucks to be you.”
“I can’t even imagine what you’re going through,” which means, “I’m really glad I’m not dealing with that!”
And, “At least you still have Ben,” equates to, “You shouldn’t be upset when you still have one kid alive.”
With every consolation tossed at her feet like the change she used to find on the ground when she was a child, this unknown sensation began to build in her chest.  It was heavy and wild, like an untamed animal.  It was red and bared its teeth, ready to bite.  It was something Y/N had never felt before.  She was usually understanding, calm, and collected.  She wasn’t hot-headed or easily provoked.  But now, she was quickly discovering that what she was feeling was rage.  Hot and stormy, it ravaged her insides, and instead of beating it back into its cage, Y/N leaned into it, letting it hold her battered and broken soul up.
After the wake, Y/N let her sadness swallow her.  She hid in one of the guest rooms daily and even went as far as to avoid Tommy.  She couldn’t bring herself to look at him because every time their eyes met, two things happened.  1) she could see the grief he was carrying like cinder blocks chained to his neck, and 2) she could see the way he looked at her like she was a broken piece of artwork now.  She knew she was a shell of the woman she once was, but it hurt her even more to know that Tommy saw it so plainly in her, too.  He didn’t see her as the strong, independent woman he fell in love with.  No, now she was a ghost of her former self, and she couldn’t take his pity for having lost their daughter and herself. 
Although clearly grieving, Tommy didn’t seem nearly as phased by their loss as Y/N.  He was able to jump back into work, and now, nearly a week since the wake, he was back to being fully invested.  If Y/N were being honest, she envied Tommy for being able to distract himself.  She couldn’t do anything but hide from the memories that haunted their home and do her best to still be a good mother to Ben.  When a week finally passed since laying her daughter to rest, Y/N knew she had to do something.  She would talk to Polly and beg for some sort of work.  She didn’t care that Polly insisted that Y/N take some “time to heal.”  She needed a distraction.  Being in Arrow House felt more like a prison than a home.
Y/N got dressed and began to head for the door after handing Ben over to Frances.  But, as she approached Tommy’s office, she could hear him talking.  She peeked through the tiny crack to discover John and Arthur sitting at Tommy’s desk. 
“Ada’s handling the Communists.  She’s got someone on the inside who’s giving us information,” Tommy stated.  “And,” he shuffled papers around on his desk, “I’m…dealing with Father Hughes.”
“And what about the horny princess?” John asked, leaning forward and adjusting his jacket.  “You gonna figure out where her family keeps the jewels?”
Tommy waved him off.  “I already know.”  That single statement had both his brothers and Y/N leaning forward just slightly.  Tommy lay a large blueprint on his desk, causing the brothers to stand.
“They keep their entire collection in this strong room.  There’s no way to get in from above without a key,” Tommy stated, flattening the paper and looking up at his brothers. 
“So, what’s your plan, brother?”  Arthur asked like a good soldier.  Tommy straightened slightly, and Y/N could tell he was a little uncomfortable.  He pulled a cigarette from his case and slid it across his bottom lip before lighting it and taking a drag. 
“We’ve gotta tunnel in,” Tommy said without hesitation.  Those four words landed on the Shelby men like a grenade, and Y/N could almost feel the atmosphere shift at the statement.  None of them moved.  It was evident that the idea of tunneling hadn’t been a thought in any of their minds since the war.  Tommy cleared his throat. 
“I know,” he began, “but there’s no other way.  I’ve already got Johnny Dogs ready to help.  He’ll set up camp where we’ll start the tunnel.”
The air was thick, and again, neither of the brothers spoke.  She knew they didn’t like the plan, but they would comply because Tommy was giving the orders.  Y/N watched as John and Arthur fiddled with their suit jackets, their anxious energy hitting her like a baseball bat to the face.  It wasn’t until Arthur blew out a puff of air and ran his hand through his messy hair, exposing his apprehension, that Y/N knew what she would do.  Without even a second thought, Y/N opened the door to Tommy’s office, and all three men turned to face her.  She was only adding insult to injury as the silence in the room became even heavier.  Neither of her brothers-in-law had seen her since the wake, and the uneasy energy was almost palpable.  Tommy stepped toward her but didn’t get too close, which Y/N could see his brothers noticed.
“Y/N, is everything alright, love?”
Her eyes flitted between all three of the Shelby men for a moment before finally landing back on Tommy.  She knew she probably looked like a deer in headlights.  Her stare was frazzled, and she knew she looked a bit harried.  But she still squared her shoulders and stated with the most conviction she could muster, “Let me help.”
All three men’s eyes widened to the size of saucers, but only one spoke. 
“Excuse me?”  Tommy asked, incredulity lacing each word.  There was no going back now.  Y/N had to double down on her commitment.  So, she waved her hand toward the blueprints on Tommy’s desk. 
“With the tunnel.”
Tommy’s eyes turned a shade darker, and Y/N could see his jaw tick.  She only glanced at John and Arthur for a second, and they both looked like they might choke on the thickness of the air.  She felt like she might, too, but she held her ground.  She was not a fragile porcelain doll and could help her husband like she used to.  Tommy coughed, then turned to his brothers and, in a calm voice, asked, “Would you mind giving me a moment with my wife, boys?”
Neither of the brothers wasted a second before hustling out into the hallway.  Once the door shut behind them, Tommy’s steely gaze landed back on Y/N.  Before, she would have felt a little nervous under Tommy’s intense glare.  She had never inserted herself into his shoddy business in the past.  But now, she didn’t care.  She needed a distraction and a way to prove that she was still a force to be reckoned with even after her loss.  Y/N could see Tommy trying to contain his anger as his nostrils flared and his fists clenched and unclenched at his sides.  His eyes shut for a brief moment as he took a deep inhale.
“Are you fucking insane, Y/N?”  He finally asked, his voice level.  Y/N’s mouth fell open, and she reared back just slightly.  But before she could say anything, Tommy continued.
“You’ve been avoiding me, your husband, for a week in our own home, and when you decide to finally speak to me, that is what you say?”
Y/N rolled her eyes.  “Tommy.”
“No, Y/N!”  He shouted, causing her to startle.  “You can’t just move past this!”
That statement made Y/N see red.  In the week since Lily’s passing, Tommy did precisely that.  Y/N’s spine straightened, and her whole body became rigid.
“Why not!?” she shouted back, stomping toward Tommy.  “Is that not what you did?  Pretend like we didn’t lose our daughter?  You threw yourself into your work.  Why can’t I do the same thing?”  Her chest was heaving, and as badly as she didn’t want them to, she could feel tears pricking at her eyes.  She hated that she was a frustrated crier.  Her fists were in tight balls at her sides, and every muscle in her body was flexed.  She was ready for a fight.  She was prepared for Tommy to yell back at her.  In fact, she wanted him to yell at her.  She wanted Tommy to tell her how stupid her idea was and that she was out of her mind.  She mentally begged Tommy to scream at her for barging in on his meeting with his brothers and even thinking about tunneling.  Y/N wanted to feel the passion he usually had toward her before they lost their baby.  She needed him to reassure her that she was not a lost cause he was housing but his fierce wife.  But he didn’t yell.  The fire in his eyes dimmed, and his features softened.  The pity eyes were back, and she was struck by the sadness she was trying to escape.  She shut her eyes in a lame attempt to avoid looking at her husband and keep her tears at bay, but it was futile.  The tiny droplets fell down her cheeks, and when she opened her eyes again, Tommy was right in front of her.  He lifted his hands to cradle her face, and she hated how she melted into his touch.  It had been a week since she even looked at Tommy, let alone touched him.  She couldn’t lie, she missed him.  But it was easier to hide from the pain and suffering they both shared than deal with it head-on. 
Y/N let out a shaky breath and looked into her husband’s eyes. 
“Why can’t I, Tommy?” She asked, barely above a whisper.  “Let me help you.  Please.”
Tommy’s thumb stroked her cheeks, wiping away a stray tear.  He cataloged her features, and for the first time in a very long time, she wished she could see into Tommy’s thoughts.  She stared at him and hoped that everything she wanted to say was conveyed in her eyes.  I’m no longer the same woman I was a week ago.  I’m a failure as a woman and a mother.  I’m alone, letting my thoughts eat me alive.  I’m scared you won’t love this broken woman I have become.  Her eyes pleaded for Tommy to let her prove that she could still be the same person as before.  She needed to prove to him and herself that she wasn’t hopeless.  But when Tommy shut his eyes and let out a sigh, she knew his answer before he even said it. 
He looked at Y/N and said sotto voce, “You know I can’t, love.”
Y/N’s body went rigid, and that new familiar sensation began to bubble in her gut.  She could feel it rumbling and swirling, mixing with her fear and sadness, creating an uncontrollable fury.  It burned like venom, but she found herself welcoming the sting.  Her once soft features hardened, and Tommy noticed the change immediately.  Her stare was blank, and the joy that used to fill it had vanished.  Before losing her daughter, she never understood why the war had changed Tommy.  She supported him while his experiences ravaged him, but she never knew why he returned with a harder exterior than when he left.  But now, after suffering such a devastating loss, she understood.  There is no coming back from witnessing a tragedy. 
Tommy’s rough thumbs brushed against Y/N’s tear-stained cheeks and bent until his forehead rested on hers.  “Where did the woman I married three years ago disappear to?”  He said, his breath fanning over her face.  He pulled back, his distressed stare locking Y/N in place, and whispered, “I know she’s in there.”
The words stung like a slap to her already bruised ego.  She could feel the weight of that question in every bone of her body.  All her fears began raging a war inside her head, and she could feel her armor cracking.  She could feel the tears clogging her throat, burning as she swallowed them down.  Her lungs felt like they weren’t getting nearly enough oxygen, and she was only seconds away from either crying or breaking something.  With a swift step backward, Y/N separated herself from her husband.  She hated to admit that her body yearned for Tommy’s hands back on her, but she batted that thought away as quickly as it appeared.  Tommy slowly lowered his hands back to his sides, and she leveled him with a callous stare.
“That woman is gone, Tommy,” she spat.  “She burned to ash with her daughter a week ago.”  She could see the way her words landed on Tommy like bullets striking his chest.  Some of her felt bad, but the angry beast slowly becoming her new persona convinced her she did nothing wrong. 
Y/N waited for Tommy to say something, anything, back to her, and when he didn’t, she turned and reached for the door.  Confidence that felt different from what she was used to coursed through her body like electricity.  She was a little scared of who she was becoming, but those wild and fiery feelings of rage were the only things that brought her peace.  Before pulling the door open, she turned back toward Tommy and said, “If you won’t let me help you, Tommy, I’ll find someone else who will.  You forget, my roots run deep in this business, too.”
Tommy let out a dry laugh.  “You’re really threatening me, now, ey?”
Y/N’s grip tightened around the cold door handle, and, through gritted teeth, she growled, “It’s not a threat, Thomas.  It’s a promise.”  Without a second look, she flung the door open and stepped out. 
John and Arthur straightened at her abrupt appearance, and she just brushed past them, letting her feet carry her toward the front of their home.  She knew they heard her and Tommy’s conversation, but she didn’t care anymore.  This newfound boldness that her bereavement had granted her washed away any and all anxiety.   
“Hope you enjoyed the show, boys,” Y/N tossed over her shoulder toward John and Arthur.  “Next time, I’ll sell tickets and make talking to my husband more worthwhile rather than a waste of my time.”
She didn’t turn back around to see their reaction to her words.  Instead, she showed herself out and hopped into one of Tommy’s many vehicles.  She would find another way if he wouldn’t allow her to help.  The image of a tall Jewish man whom she briefly met a while back when Tommy first started expanding into London entered her mind.  She knew exactly who would be more than willing to give her a hand in her effort to help the Shelby family – Alfie Solomons.
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skamenglishsubs · 5 months
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Subtext and Culture, Young Royals, Season 3, Episode 5
Episode 5 starts sometime after August dropped the bombshell about Erik at the end of last episode, and Wilhelm decides for some reason to visit the party palace, in order to make himself feel extra shit? I don't know what's going on here.
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Blink and you miss it: Hey, that's one of the clown masks they used for Wilhelm's initiation back in season 1.
Blink and you miss it: Henry and Valter are doing a class presentation on rhetorical analysis, and for some reason they chose former US president George W. Bush as their subject, which is pretty hilarious given that he was a notoriously bad public speaker.
Blink and you miss it: Instead of asking Wilhelm, who is sitting right next to Simon, how he's feeling, he writes the question in his notebook and slides it over.
Subtext: Gotta keep up that facade and bottle all the negative feelings inside!
Lost in translation: Vincent uses the word "nyanländ", "newly arrived", which is the current politically correct way of saying immigrant.
Subtext: ...but in typical bully fashion he asks the target of the racist "joke" if it was funny, and Marwan obviously lies about it as to not upset Vincent.
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Subtext: Felice tries to play it off as no big deal, but she actually wants this opportunity to spend time with Sara without her other friends, in order to rebuild the friendship.
Subtext: Sara is right to be suspicious of her dad, because he is a lot more energetic than usual, and excuses his behaviour by him simply being in a good mood. It's probably his new medication that kicked in, though.
Subtext: Speaking of having a hard time showing weakness, that's exactly what Wilhelm's been struggling with by not telling Simon how upset he is about having learned that Erik took part in the gay porn initiation.
Subtext: So the whole subplot of the past four episodes was that the school locked up all the phones, and Wilhelm joined the little strike to get them back, pissing Simon off in the meantime, and now that they have their phones back he's not picking up when Simon is calling him? Not cool.
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Culture: The choir is practising "En vänlig grönskas rika dräkt", a Swedish hymnal with text from 1889, but this version of the melody is from the 1930's and composed by Waldemar Åhlén. It's a very well-known summer song that pretty much every Swedish schoolkid has sung at some end-of-schoolyear summer assembly.
Cinematography: We're in the cursed music room, and this time the lighting is harsh and sharp, Wilhelm is in stark contrast to the rest of the room, there's no soft golden light smoothing things out, so we're gonna have an argument!
Subtext: Yeah, no, Wilhelm, sweetie, that's projection, that's what you are thinking about your brother. Simon isn't doing anything wrong here, he's just concerned about you being a moody asshole.
Cinematography: To illustrate how the relationship is going south, the music room which used to be full of instruments, is just getting emptier and emptier, and Simon is left standing alone at the piano.
Subtext: No, he's not feeling ok, and no, he's not interested in making up with Sara right now, because he's still angry at her.
Subtext: There are different kinds of homophobia, for example, there are people who talk loudly about how accepting they are of The Gays, but who react negatively when someone close to them comes out, because they were only fine with it at a distance. And then there are people who are ignorantly homophobic in general, but who turn out to be supportive of anyone close to them who comes out, because they know that that person isn't like The Other Gays. Shitty, but less shitty than the first group, and I think that's how Erik would have reacted had he known about Wilhelm.
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Culture: In Sweden, you do the practical driving test in a car provided by the testing centre to make it fair and equal for everyone. These cars all have a red sticker saying they're for driving tests.
Subtext: Micke is failing exactly how he described it in an earlier episode. He's on new medication, it made him feel good and like he was in control, so he thought he could take just one beer with his friends.
Subtext: No, it fits horribly, and you can clearly see that it was on sale and that the price tag is still on it. But this is what Linda can afford.
Lost in translation: Simon actually says "jag vet", "I know", when Sara tells him that their dad let her down and that she is sad and upset about it.
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Subtext: Unlike Simon who got a cheap suit on sale, Wilhelm just has his perfectly tailored suit delivered to him by his bodyguards.
Subtext: Last episode Wilhelm picked a sport charity or something that he doesn't actually care about, because he thought it would best fit the narrative the royal court is going for. So now his internal homophobia is screaming at him to remove the nail polish, because it doesn't fit that image.
I don't know what this is: This has got to be an editing goof? This sequence of events doesn't work. Everyone else is up and about, preparing the third year's dinner with the teachers and they're even cooking the food with a chef, but it's early morning and Wilhelm is still sleeping in? Anyway, the whole thing is yet another example of how the school teaches hierarchy. As a younger student you service the older students, and when it's your turn to graduate, someone younger will service you.
Throwback: Aww, Simon made Wilhelm a sandwich, just like Wilhelm made one for Simon a bunch of times in previous seasons.
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Culture: Man, early summer in Sweden is beautiful, isn't it? This was shot at Åkeshofs Slott in Stockholm, and if you do a 180 turn on that path, you'll see the subway station Åkeshov, and if you go through the tunnel under the road and then up to your right, you'll end up at a sports centre where I went twice a week as a kid for fencing training!
This tumblr is now about French school fencing! Doublé! Riposte!
Subtext: Time and time again the show has shown us how much August loves this shit, and that he wasn't lying when he said he knew everyone, because clearly he does!
Subtext: And to show how much Wilhelm dislikes this shit, he is so stiff when talking to the invited kids who are actually benefitting from his charity foundation, while August just immediately jokes around with them and is much more comfortable.
Culture: I've seen how a lot of fans think that the flower Wilhelm is wearing is a green carnation, which is a symbol for being gay, popularized by Oscar Wilde. I don't think so, that's not a thing in Sweden as far as I know. Instead, I think it's an alternate version of a Majblomma, which is an actual Swedish charity thing, where you can buy these plastic lapel flowers from schoolkids to show your support around this time of year.
Subtext: Even though Simon is there, he's being shoved to the back, because his presence doesn't fit the narrative. If Wilhelm instead had chosen to start some kind of LGBT charity, Simon would have had a much more prominent role. Oh, and poison or not, that Princess Cake looks delicious!
Subtext: Farima is expertly letting August down, who of course pretends that he's not the least bit disappointed at being excluded from having dinner at the royal palace.
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Blink and you miss it: IT'S LISA! HI LISA!
Culture: Kalle Stropp och Grodan Boll are two characters from a radio show for kids from the 1940's, but they've also been featured in books, comic books, a live action movie, and animated cartoons. It's about the two titular characters, a cricket and a frog, and their adventures. The last movie was made in the 1990's though, so I'm not so sure kids these days knows who these characters are. Personally, I can't hear this song without hearing their silly character voices.
Subtext: The Queen is still keeping up appearances and lying through her teeth about how she's actually feeling.
Culture: In real world Sweden, Victoriadagen is celebrated in mid July when Crown Princess Victoria has her birthday, she hands out a sports award, there's a concert, some charity stuff, and you can sort of meet the royals or sing her happy birthday or something.
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Subtext: August is repeating the excuse Farima used on him as to why he didn't attend the birthday dinner.
Blink and you miss it: That's a Rolex Oyster Perpetual GMT-Master II. It's only about $10,000 and change.
Subtext: Simon, sweetie, I don't think the royals have any clue as to what "the usual" means when you're describing how regular people celebrate birthdays.
Culture: Simon actually says Laserdome, which is a company in Sweden that has been running laser tag arenas since the 1990's. I had no idea they still existed!
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Culture: They're singing Lambo, a drinking song for students. It's a challenge song, so while the rest of the table sings, the target has to finish their glass, correctly sing the response lines, and turn the glass upside down over their head. If you fail, like August does in this scene, you have to do a penalty round and chug another glass.
Subtext: ...before her parents heaped all of their family's expectations on her. But maybe if Felice can break free she could pursue her actual dreams?
Throwback: Remember the scene in S1E3 when Simon is practising the Hillerska song in the music room?
Subtext: Queenie, sweetie, you're not looking Wilhelm in the eyes, you're not engaging in the discussion, and the only thing you do is to talk about Erik every chance you get. No wonder Wilhelm has had enough and explodes at his parents.
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Blink and you miss it: Vincent won the "Daddy pays" award. Pappa betalar.
Subtext: In this context the award just means that he's the image of a bad boy, a player. But throughout the season, August has been struggling with whether or not he's actually a bad person, which is why he's not exactly happy with the award.
Cinematography: Fuck me that's a pretty shot of a typical summer sunset. In late May in the Stockholm area, sunset happens at around 9:30 in the evenings.
Subtext: One more explanation for August's body dysmorphia is that he got bullied for being weak and scrawny when he first started at Hillerska, so he decided to start working out more.
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Blink and you miss it: The reason Fredrika is outside and happens to see Sara and August kiss, is because she's trying to sneak away the bottle of wine she stole earlier from the kitchen.
Subtext: And the reason Felice looks upset when Fredrika tells her what she saw is because she truly thought Sara was over August, and that's a condition of them reconciling.
Blink and you miss it: Wilhelm plays the first few notes of the original Hillerska song.
Subtext: And to cap off this terrible no-good horrible cliffhanger episode, Simon breaks up with Wilhelm by repeating the words his mom said to him earlier in the episode.
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buckrecs · 2 years
Text
2023 𝙗𝙪𝙘𝙠𝙮 𝙗𝙖𝙧𝙣𝙚𝙨 𝙛𝙞𝙘 𝙧𝙚𝙘 2
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masterlist | ✨- fav fics | status - complete
All of them are COMPLETE Series.
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1. Chicken by @delusionalwriterr
Bucky x Reader
You and Bucky Barnes shared a strange relationship with each other and the team was getting tired of it. When a mission goes wrong, will you be forced to admit your feelings for each other or will they remain buried?
2. sweet reverie by @demxters
College!Bucky x Reader
bucky asks you to pretend to be his girlfriend for the weekend but after what you thought was sweeter than a dream has you facing a harsher reality.
3. The Time of the Prey by @subwaysurf45 ✨
Knight!Bucky x Princess!Reader
The younger sister of the most talked about princess in the kingdoms really can’t do much except smile and nod. When Natasha, your sister, finally goes to moves all of you to Shieldshire to marry her beloved Prince Steve you are left with your art, all alone. But one Knight took it upon himself to keep you company, and that company was all you needed to get through wedding season. Will that company last or will it be ripped away from the both of you? A war is starting and it seems targets are being made. 
4. super rich kids by @traitorjoelite
College!Bucky x Reader
kids with too much money, parties every night, and an incident with your best friend’s brother is just the norm on the upper east side.
5. Bring You Home by @sunflowersoldat ✨
Bucky x Reader
Y/N travels back in time to get Steve’s help for one last mission, but not everything goes as planned.
6. The Colour of Rain by @delaber
Bucky x Reader
On the run from his violent past, Bucky has sought refuge in a small town in Mexico where he enjoys the peace and quiet of not understanding a word of Spanish. A peace that is violently disturbed when he runs into the most annoying woman he has ever met.
7. All The King’s Men by @nastybuckybarnes ✨
Alpha!King!Bucky x Omega!Reader
Your father always said that if it weren’t for your presentation, he’d think you were an Alpha. There’s a reason for that. Growing up in a world where Omegas are treated like garbage, you’ve fought for the respect that you have. Until you’re sold off to an old King desperate for a bride. But you will not lay down and present for your new husband. No, you will fight back.
8. Peaches by @noctumbra
DBF!Bucky x Reader
what they were doing was wrong, both of them knew that. it had to be kept as a secret. not everyone would understand what they have, she knew that much. they’d look at them and see an older man misleading a girl so much younger than him. it wasn’t the thing, though. that had never been the thing. it wasn’t misleading, taking advantage ─whatever they called their situation. it was love. forbidden, not-society-friendly, but love. 
9. Sweet Dreams by @abovethesmokestacks ✨
Bucky x Baker!Reader
Sometimes you start talking with someone, and you realize you share an interest and a wish for a certain supersoldier to be cut som slack. Enter cupcakes.
10. Fuck Up The Friendship by @summerofsnowflakes
Bucky x Reader College AU
Fed up with having your feelings played with you decide to have some fun with a with your friend Steve.
11. A Sweet Old Fashioned Notion by @sidepartskinnyjeans
Bucky x Reader
As the dust settles on the second 'snap' Bucky has been getting to know Brooklyn again. His neighbourhood has changed a lot, but it's changed for you too since you got blipped back. Bucky is still pretty old fashiond at heart, there were things he expected from life, to get married, to have a family. Simple things that seem far away now especially when online dating is so hard. Maybe something more traditional would be good for both of you.
12. Soldier, My Soldier by @cryptidcasanova
Winter Soldier!Bucky x Reader
“I am the writing on the wall, the whisper in the air. Without these things I am nothing. So now, I must shed blood.” He lulled at the base of your throat. “Sweetheart, come with me.”
13. Homesick at space camp by @atlaese
Bucky x Avenger!Reader
dying on a cold spaceship lightyears away from home wasn't what you expected
14. Spirits in the House by @redgillan
Detective!Bucky x Reader
Reader is in a coma after a car accident. Bucky moves into your apartment and find your spirit still hanging around.
15. Sugary Sweet by @all1e23
Sugar Daddy!Bucky x Reader
Is it all just sugar or something more? 
16. Missing Piece by @likeahorribledream
Bucky x Reader
When Bucky first arrived to the compound, Steve was his only friend and the only person he trusted himself around. That is until Steve introduces him to you, his best friend. Bucky was fascinated by how often you and Steve would hug each other. It had been a very long time since anyone had touched him in such a loving way and it didn’t take long before Bucky found himself craving your touch, but whenever you’d get too close he would flinch as if someone had hit him. His trauma still too fresh a wound for him to be comfortable with someone touching him. Then one day, he finally fights his instincts and let you touch him. He hadn’t realized how truly touch starved he was until he feels the warmth of your skin against his. Something clicks for the both of you in that moment, you had found your missing piece. As long as you were with each other, you were home. You both tried to fool yourselves into thinking you were just friends, really close friends. Friends that needed to be together almost every minute of every day and who needed to hold each other to be able to sleep at night.
17. Metal Arm and Short Skirts by @buckyarchives
Bucky x Doctor!Reader
waltzing in as the new head of the Avenger's medical division, impressing everyone, and... scaring Bucky with your incredibly short skirts. Bucky's having a hard time looking at his arm as anything other than a deadly weapon, and you're more than happy to help him.
18. Scars by @chickenfics ✨
Bucky x Reader Western AU
Running from a past that haunts you and a future that is unsure, the last thing you wanted was to take up with a stranger. Strangers, you'd learned, are almost always more trouble than they're worth. But when dangers from the life you're trying to leave behind get too close for comfort, drastic times call for drastic measures, and the stranger you'd once feared becomes the only person you can trust -- and perhaps the only person you'd call your friend. Now you both just have to make it out alive... 
19. The Color of Blood by @theidiotwhowritesthings
Bucky x Agent!Reader Soulmate AU
In this world, a person didn’t discover color until they locked eyes with their soulmate. As an agent of SHIELD, finding your soulmate was hardly a priority. Especially since you were currently dealing with the shocking discovery that HYDRA had been pulling the strings behind SHIELD actions this entire time. Life was all about timing, and you were about to find out that your timing was absolute shit.
20. Everybody’s Watching Him (But He’s Looking At Her) by @writing-for-marvel
Actor!Bucky x Assistant!Reader
The entire world’s eyes are on movie star Bucky Barnes, what he’s wearing, who he’s dating, even the mystery behind why he needs a prosthetic arm - but Bucky doesn’t care about all that, he’s only got one thing on his mind, you.
21. 27 Dresses by @beccaanne814
Bucky x Reader Modern AU
You are the epitome of “always a bridesmaid, never a bride.” You think you know what love is, but sometimes you can’t see what’s right in front of you.
22. Heal by @chucksfavouriteprophet
Alpha!Bucky x Omega!Reader
For months you managed to distance yourself from Bucky Barnes, the alpha you long for. But one night you have no choice but to comfort him, something which brings out emotions in both of you. Except it also brings out emotions in the Winter Solider, which results in a devastating turn of events that neither of you might be able to come back from.
23. Dangerous Woman by @samthemarvelfan
Bucky x Reader
You know he blames you, but you never thought he’d hate you.
24. Witness Protection by @mymoonagedaydream
Bucky x Reader
You'd only been living in New York for a few weeks when Natasha introduced you to James Barnes, the man who’d change your life forever.
25. Everything’s Better in Westview by @espinosaurusrexex ✨
Bucky x Reader
Bucky and Y/N sneak into Westview to have the perfect life. Away from late Steve and Tony, Vision and Natasha, they let themselves be consumed by suburban magic. To their surprise, however, some of these people aren’t so dead in the town. And there are some other weird things happening that make them question their sanity. But that’s okay, right? ‘Cause everything’s better in Westview.
26. Trying by @moonlight-prose
Bucky x Reader
Bucky Barnes was a new person. He survived a war with Thanos, finally getting rid of his triggers, and losing his best friend. He didn’t think there was anything else to survive. That is until he meets you in a bookstore and you become something he is scared of losing. An old villain has shown himself and suddenly you are the target of a new ploy to bring the Winter Soldier back.
27. unconventional methods by @marvelouslizzie
Bucky x Adult Content Creator!Reader
Bucky Barnes has a big problem: he is too anxious to date and too old school to enjoy porn. But he needs some kind of relief, and he needs it right now. After getting an accidental boner during a mission, Natasha suggests him an application that seems to be exactly what he needs. Will your content solve the problem for him? Or will it create new problems?
28. ephemeral by @aescapisms
Professor!Bucky x Reader
Bucky Barnes fell in love with you, but the universe isn’t all that forgiving.
29. Bulletproof by @amandaoftherosemire ✨
Bucky x Reader College AU
You, Steve Rogers, and Bucky Barnes have been the best of friends since middle school. On top of that, you’ve been in love with Bucky pretty much the whole time. Everything changed after the three of you got to college, however. Over the past couple of years you and Steve have become even closer but things between you and Bucky have been strained since the night he broke your heart. Can anything bring you back together?
30. The Heart is a Deep Ocean by @dreamlessinparis
Bucky x Reader Titanic AU
Titanic was known as the ship of dreams. For you, it was the dream of getting home, or so you thought. From the moment you locked eyes with James Buchanan Barnes, all those dreams changed and your life was never the same.
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