#THESE TWO?? They don't see nobody else on the court its just them

[kataracy]

Kataang Week DAY 1 // Wind & Rain

A day at the beach with the couple that doesn't know how to sit down

[acotarmemes]

Did Buttmunch make it to the Night Court?

YES! He did and VERY SAFELY!

icons by @copypastus

Since it's @cassianappreciationweek, I also wrote a little ficlet of:

The Adventures of Cassian and Buttmunch

Read on AO3, or below the cut.

"Cassian? Cassian, are you listening to me?"

It tickles. Oh, gods, it tickles.

Cassian squirms a little, tilting his head and wrinkling his nose. He's sure Nesta is saying something terribly important and while the sound of her voice is a symphony of sun and skies, it takes all of his self-control to contain himself.

"Yes, of course! I, the best husband in the world, devote my complete attention to my beloved wife."

"What was I saying?" Nesta deadpans, folding her arms across her chest. She drums her fingers across her bicep, patiently waiting for Cassian's excuse.

Before he can say anything productive, he bursts into a fit of giggled, and bites his lip. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, I swear I was listning. But if you could repeat yourself, I would love you forever."

"You'll love me forever even if I don't," she counters without missing a beat. Her eyes trail him up and down, watching him squirm, nearly cross his arms over his chest and decide against it. "What's wrong with you?"

"Nothing."

Her gaze narrows, and she steps closer. Nesta draws her hands back, and strikes hard and fast, tickling his sides. All is lost—completely lost!

Cassian bursts into laughter. "Mercy, mercy!"

"Not until you—Ah!" Nesta's yelp is sudden and pitched as she jumps back. "What's that?"

From the inside of his vest, a tiny baby bluejay pops its head out, using Cassian's chest hair as a tiny little toupee. It chirps at Nesta happily, then wiggles back into the comfort of Cassian's clothes.

"Well, you see, I wanted to ask how you felt about birds?"

"Cassian!"

He knows it isn't very fair to ask Nesta to keep the baby bird when he's already got the baby bird, but he is the General of the Night Court and battles aren't always won with fairness.

***

"What do bluejays eat?"

Azriel's voice is quieter than the little singing bird. He squats by the makeshift nest, watching the hatchling bury itself in scraps of Cassian's old clothing and hair they definitely didn't just pull out. They wanted to swaddle him in Cassian's scent, what else were they supposed to do?

"I dunno."

"Tamlin didn't give you a list?"

"Well, he did, but I lost it."

Azriel pauses, and looks up at Cassian unimpressed. Of course, Cassian would adopt a baby bird and of course, he would decide to wing it. Pun intended. The shadowsinger sighs, and conjures little shadow tendrils to entertain the chick.

"His name?"

"Buttmunch."

A small smile creeps on Azriel's features. The two of them high five in some inside joke no one else is privy too.

"Want to make a bet?"

Cassian tilts his head, his bun following the motion and going lopsided. It's still too early to be stylish. It's just Azriel, anyway. He cocks a scarred brow, already invested in this brewing game. He doesn't win often, but this time, he will. If it's about Buttmunch, nobody knows his baby as well as he does.

"Gather food. Label them. Whoever's food Buttmuch picks wins."

"Okay, what do I win?"

"Your name goes first. Buttmuch, son of Cassian and Azriel. If you win."

"HELL YEAH!"

***

The meeting is running long.

Cassian leans his cheek into his fist, half-lulling himself to sleep. There's only so much court things he can take. He is a man of action, a do-er, not a talker. His only saving grace is the grumpy little bluejay sitting on Rhysand's shoulder. Buttmunch didn't want to get up. Buttmunch also didn't want to left alone in Cassian's room.

He's in a mood, Cassian had told his brother, but Rhysand insisted that his winged-nephew join him.

The hatchling looks especially angry, trembling a little as he—oops.

"Buttmunch the first! Son of Azriel and Cassian!" Cassian yowls between fits of laughter. He gets up and swoops his little birdy with a grin. "I guess that's meeting adjourned? I'll buy you a new suit. Oh, and I told you so."

"With what money? You owe me from last time I spotted you."

"Sorry, gotta go! Potty training!"

***

The problem with being the most handsome and innovative male in the Night Court is that everyone wants to be him. Cassian rescued Buttmunch, and now Azriel wants one too.

He rushes to the texted location—to where his brother found an egg all by itself on the ground. Cradled in the mud at the banks of swampy water lies Buttmunch's future brother.

"Should we wait for the egg to hatch?"

"I don't know. Buttmunch game ready made."

"Ready—Ready made?"

"Yeah, hatched and chirping and all. He just kinda fell out of a tree."

The two of them stand there, inspecting the egg. Cassian feels little feet scractching at his head as Buttmunch pops out of his bun, joining in the open display of curiosity.

Beside them, the water sloshes. Both Illyrians turn their attention to the murky depths.

"Is that—"

"RUN!"

A giant crocodile bursts out of seemingly nowhere, snapping its jaws at the two idiots invading its nest. Cassian holds onto Buttmuch while running for dear life.

"Sorry, Butt," Cassian says, breathless, once they reach safety. "We'll find you a sibling."

***

The scare by the swamp weighs on Cassian's mind. What if Buttmunch had fallen off? What if Cassian forgot to hold onto him and he'd been eaten? Oh, he'd be inconsolable if he lost his baby chikie.

"You're not a baby anymore. Look how chonky you are. That's teen-bird chonk. That means you're ready to fly," he lectures. "It's for your safety."

"Are we sure he understands?" Feyre squats down to scratch his fuzzy little head. "He is so cute."

"Did you understand your parents when you were born?"

"No. I was a baby."

"Okay, well, Buttmunch is a genius. Look at this." Cassian twirls his finger. "Do the cyclone!"

Right on cue, Buttmunch turns in a circle on the spot. The hatchling chirps and preens at his papa-bat.

"That's it, I'm kidnapping him and keeping him forever."

"You can try, but he's imprinted on me. It's why Tamlin let him live with me instead of releasing him back into the Spring Court forests."

"We'll see when he learns to fly and becomes independent. So, how do we start?"

As one of the last people who learned to fly, Feyre is the perfect teaching assistant to Cassian. The three of them stand on the roof. They try to show Buttmunch to flap his wings, but the chick only tilts his head to the left and to the right in confusion.

"Like this," Cassian takes big leaping steps, flapping his wings in demonstration.

Buttmunch hops after him excitedly, but his wings are tucked firmly at his sides.

"Okay, what if I just pushed him off the roof? His instincts are bound to kick in, right?"

"What if I pushed you off the roof?"

Feyre regards Cassian like he's lost his damn mind. Flying isn't easy and rushing that process isn't going to make Buttmunch successful. She bends down to scoop the tiny bluejay into her hands. He nestles into the warmth of her touch and that gives her an idea.

"Fly," she tells Cassian.

"What?"

"Just fly. Pretend like you're leaving him behind."

Cassian frowns. Abandonment seems… cruel. He looks between Feyre and his munchkin, then steps back off the edge. As soon as he disappears, Buttmunch cries out desperately. Cassian swoops back up into the sky, flapping his wings and keeping a distance between them.

"Go to papa," Feyre tells Buttmunch, extending her arms.

The chick remains focused on Cassian, spreading its little wings and flapping. He tries and tries, trying to lift himself when Feyre decides to give him a little momentum. A little toss up into the air where she can still catch him and there he goes.

"He's flyin'! My baby boy is flyin'!"

Buttmunch's trajectory is a little unsteady, dropping a little as he tries to meet Cassian in the air. Oh, he doesn't seem sure at all, but he's determined. He chirps, chirps, and Cassian likes to say he's announcing his arrival—I'm coming! I'm coming!

Cassian cheers him on and catches him, howling his victory. His Buttmunch is the best, the very best!

***

Flying is freedom.

Flying is boundless.

He can go as far and as wide as he pleases, with nothing to stop him except his own will. Cassian soars through the clouds above Velaris, a fierce blue dart beside him. He twists his body, torpedoing through the white wisps, and the bluejay mimicks his prowess.

The two of them were meant to fly.

Velaris boasts the most beautiful sights, but there is nothing like the endless sky welcoming him and his Buttmunch with open arms.

[trancetales]

On naming and language in creative writing

I've been thinking recently about writing and specifically, coming up with names and terms within the setting. It can be easy to think to yourself about your own, or indeed of someone else's, choices of terms and names when you're creating a world and setting. "This name is so uninspired", or "This term sounds stupid." You might think it stands out like a sore thumb because it isn't an overly flowery term. That is fine.

Have you ever thought that about real world things? If, like myself, you've found yourself thinking that way about such things, maybe looking at some real world examples with a little more scrutiny can help put some of those thoughts at ease.

Lets start by looking at a few real world terms, first of all. Lets say you have a magic system, and it depends on something that you've called "manapools". Its a simple name, and its to the point. Its not the most out there name, but why should it be?

Have you ever thought about that time at the end of the week? You know, when the week ends, and it becomes the "weekend"? Its what we really called it in English. Its not very creative, but its what we call it, and nobody bats an eyelid. Why should they? That's what its called. Nobody thinks "the weekend should be called something more imaginative.

Another example is the word "waterfall". It couldn't possibly be more straightforward. It is where water falls. Water is falling, so, waterfall. Simple enough, and even someone who doesn't know what a waterfall is could probably piece together that a waterfall is that bit where the water is falling.

This is especially the case when you're talking about a fantasy or scifi term that will be completely new to someone. You actually want someone to recognise the term at a glance and have an idea what's going on. Not just because it makes it easier for the reader to recognise it easily, but because its more convincing from a storytelling perspective - even if there's a more scientific word in the world, are people really going to be using it? Have you ever heard anyone talk about Trochilidae? Probably not. Because when people see a bird that's making a humming sound, they're going to call it as they see it. A hummingbird.

Next, I'm going to touch on place names. Maybe your big city is called "King's Court". Maybe you're thinking that its not very inspired, in a world of Arendelles and Coruscants. If so, you might want to think about two things - real world place names, and the origin of the place names in media.

So we'll start with those two examples. Firstly, Arendelle, the setting for the film Frozen. Yes, it sounds like a fanciful name, but in actuality, its just a regular name but in the language. One source suggests that Aren would translate as eagle, and Delle is derived from the word for Valley. So if it were a name in English, it would just be Eagle Valley. The other example, Coruscant, is a planet from Star Wars. It sounds fancy, sure. But its actually just, a word. An unusual one, yes, but its just a word. Star War also features a city called Cloud City.

It's actually even less creative in real life. Here in the UK for instance, we have 25 places named "Kingston". This is literally just a contracted version of "King's Town", and when they had to distinguish them, they just stuck a bit on. Kingston upon Thames and Kingston upon Hull just put the river they were next to. And then there's Kingston near Lewes. The town is literally just called, "King's Town. The one near that other town." And don't get me started on how many places were just named after Alexander the Great.

The final thing I want to touch on is days and months of the calendar. If you choose to deviate away from the real world calendar, it can feel tricky to get a month that sounds like a month, and days can be even harder. That is, like before, less glaring if you think hard about the real ones.

Starting with days of the week, the simplest point I can make is this. In German, the word for Wednesday is Mittwoch, which literally just means, midweek. They didn't even bother giving it an actual name.

For months, again, its easy to overlook it because of how used to it we are, but not only are half of them really unimaginative, but they're also wrong. Everything up to June is based on parts of the pantheon and such, but when we hit July and August, these are literally just because Julius and Augustus wanted months named after them. So these two are just slight alterations of their names. After those two, we have September, October, November, and December. These ones are just names after the number of the month. Dec, meaning 10, is famously the 10th month, of course... So, not only is it basically just called "month number 10", about as unimaginative as it gets, it is also wrong.

On thinking these points over, I've personally found myself thinking less critically of my naming in all areas. If the UK can have 25 King's Towns, why can you not have a King's Court. If we have Hummingbirds, why the heck wouldn't your people call that fire-breathing dragon a Fire Dragon? And nothing could be worse than the months we have in our real calendar. So don't sell your naming prowess short, because you can't do much worse than the Romans did.

[perpetualexistence]

Tell us about your other Alenoaheather AU(s). I know you have them. 🔫

- Totally not Ophe

Hello completely random anon whose identity will forever be a mystery!

See, with the way you've phrased this, you've actually opened yourself up to a few options. I'll tell you a little bit about each one and you can tell me which one you want to learn more about first.

Currently unnamed G/T Alenoaheather

Definitely the most detailed AU of the bunch. It's got backstories and character arcs for each of the three. Probably the best way to describe it is Urban fantasy since none of them are (completely) human, but they pretty much live in a modern setting.

It does get dark at times. Think Beastars-adjacent in terms of vibes. Including the murder bits. But it's mostly self-defense or being forced into it, so take that as you will. I will say that it's nowhere near the levels of toxic relationships that something like the Sea Monster AU has. And they do actually improve as people. These three still get drama mind you, but it's from keeping secrets rather than being genuinely manipulative. ...Well. Too manipulative. It does have Alejandro and Heather in it. But it's got fluff moments because fluffy giant/tiny dynamics are precious and must be preserved at all costs.

It's got Alejandro who's a giant-shifter able to grow even larger than most other giant-shifters thank to his Burromuerto heritage. The Burromuertos are a completely upstanding giant-shifter family and definitely don't have any incredibly fucked up family traditions they expect Alejandro to continue.

Noah's a were-mongoose. Werefolk come in a large variety, though mongoose is on the far more uncommon side. Unlike most werefolk, this kid genius actually figured out a way to not completely give into his instincts during full moons. This has absolutely no negative repercussions on his wellbeing.

Heather who's a giant-shifter hybrid unable to grow thanks to her human heritage from her father's side. She's the only one of her siblings unable to grow. She definitely doesn't have a complex about this. But she has managed to find her own way of making herself just as much of a physical threat as her two boyfriends. (Aka the day I take away from Heather's inherent badassery is the day I die.)

Serial Killer AU

It's exactly what it sounds like. With exactly the vibes the name implies. Definitely the darker one. They're just a thriving villain throuple with a body count. It's also mostly Noah-focused so far as I haven't figured out Alejandro or Heather's motivations.

Noah stumbles across a body of a serial killer spree, only to be the first to realize that one serial killer is actually two. Curiosity leads him to investigate...but not for the reasons you'd think.

(For this one that's pretty much all I can share before just going into the whole AU)

And then, on the completed side since might as well dump all the Alenoaheather AUs:

Noah and the Beanstalk

Another giant/tiny AU! This one's actually got its own post already. I don't really have anything else that I didn't already mention in that post. But it's my blog, so I'll advertise my own AUs as I please!

Collab AUs

The Royal Court AU

Originally named The Lords In Black AU because it was originally inspired by me watching an animatic of The Summoning from Nerdy Prudes Must Die. Then it evolved into something far beyond that where the name doesn't seem quite right anymore.

It's got Alenoaheather as the worst teens at school and unashamed about it. ...Until Alejandro goes missing, and nobody else really seems to care. Leaving Heather and Noah to investigate and try their best not to be next.

They fail, but hey, at least they get cool eldritch powers out of it!

This AUs also dark because the premise is them being kidnapped to be used as sacrifices. And it's got plenty of eldritch horror in it. The posts for it are scattered because they ended up going into two separate reblog chains with @total-drama-brainrot and @ur-local-brown-multifandomist. If you look up 'lords in black au' on my blog you should be able to find most of it. I'm going to just centralize it for ease of organization one day. It'll just be. You know. Effort.

Also, @ur-local-brown-multifandomist is currently making a fic for it! It's their first one, so feel free to check it out.

Fake Dating Alenoaheather AU

This one's a collab AU between me and @total-drama-brainrot, a person you have never met because you are a completely anonymous anon. Noah gets caught in between Heather and Alejandro's attempts to make the other jealous by each making him pretend to be their boyfriend. Shenanigans and drama ensue. The posts for this are also scattered and tagged on both our blogs, and one day we might make a fic about it. For now, there actually is someone already making a fic about it that you can feel free to read!

I still can't believe two different people decided to start making fic of AUs I helped create. It's wild, and I'm incredibly touched.

"Why are all of these AUs except for one dark in at least some way?"

I honestly couldn't tell you exactly why my brain works the way it does. It just decided that the two canon villains and one-villain coded teenager deserve to be at least a little feral. As a treat.

Maybe one day I'll have an AU with them that's not so dark. That day will be a surprise to us all.

But yeah, that's all of the Alenoaheather AUs I got! The first two I'm more than happy to go into more detail for if you ask!

[fantasticalleigh]

thoughts on bridgerton season 3 part 2

MASSIVE spoilers ahead, i'm really annoyed so this is going to come out very salty!

TLDR: this season was largely a disappointment. part 1 is better than part 2.

-i've said it before and i'll say it again: this is an ensemble show that ultimately suffers for how large its cast is, how short each season is, how cheap netflix is, and how poor the writing is. the actors are great and do well with what they're given. the stories in and of themselves are largely compelling. but they need space and time to be told properly. eight episodes between 10+ characters is not enough.

-unhinged/in love colin from the books was sorely missed. the book is problematic yadda yadda but i prefer it at this point. instead for pretty much three out of four episodes in part two, he was just angry or sad and that was it. he felt so flat.

-i find it hilarious that debling just fucked off after rejecting penelope. he didn't even stick around to try and court cressida, who was clearly more than willing to take penelope's place?? he literally could have solved all her problems and that could have saved an incredible amount of screen time that should have gone to Colin/Penelope.

-i love the way they bridged portia and penelope's relationship. also to a lesser degree, her sisters. prudence not being so cunty anymore was nice but felt a little off, i think she needed more screentime with pen to show that she finally realizes what a bad sister she was and that she's genuinely sorry. one quick little comment "i was being honest" (or whatever it was) to me, didn't feel like enough. but i'm still glad they came around.

-violet/marcus and by extension, agatha. i'm glad violet and agatha finally had a heart to heart/ conversation that was about them and not the young people. when they affirmed that they were there for each other no matter what and used each other's given names? precious. i teared up. i love their friendship. (also don't come at me for what may have happened during Queen Charlotte bc i never finished it lol)

-the queen is probably my least favorite character. she used to have funny/kind moments but now it feels like she is just rude and dismissive and mean towards everyone. i can't even like her in a GirlBoss way because all we see from season to season is how other people manipulate her. Agatha manipulates her. Grimsby manipulates her. Lady Whistledown manipulates her. she was kind for francesca for a couple of days and then went sour when she realized francesca chose someone else. i get that she's jaded from season 2 but idk i don't enjoy her scenes at all anymore. she crashes the wedding breakfast to accuse the bridgertons, belittles the Mondriches ball at the start, complains/belittles all the debutants trying to impress her, doesn't care about the events being hosted in her honor. i loved her in seasons 1-2 but now she's just boring and one note.

-eloise finally admitted she was reckless/in the wrong about the Theo situation. that was nice. and she finally admitted befriending cressida was a poor choice. do i sense character growth at last?? but i'm still a little unhappy about how rudely she ditched Cressida once she and Penelope made up. Hey, this new friend of yours is distraught because of her shit home life and is about to be married off to some old, austere codger and you literally don't care? i genuinely felt so bad for cressida. she is a creature pushed into a corner lashing out for any way to escape and nobody (understandably, bc she makes bad choices) wants to help her. but eloise keeps saying that cress surprised her with how she was the only one to show her kindness when she was a social outcast and now the same is happening to Cressida and yet instead of repaying the favor, Eloise abandons her.

Eloise even goes so far to say that Cressida used her. Did she not also use Cressida? She admitted she befriended her to be petty towards Penelope. And she clearly stuck with Cressida out of boredom/reluctance to mingle with the other ladies their age because she found them beneath her. Eloise is still a hypocrite. I thought she'd taken a step forward but she's in the same place.

did cressida deserve help? not particularly considering the blackmail/fake identity, history of bullying. but does she also deserve to be married off like that and cut off like that by her asshole dad? also no.

with all that talk about running away i genuinely was rooting for C to run away, but i'm disappointed it didn't happen. i guess it makes sense within her character--she's always been a caged creature--i don't think running away ever came to mind, even if she didn't want to be shipped off to Wales with her aunt. she's strong but doesn't (yet) have the resolve/ferocity of someone like marina who was willing to run away with colin to elope in gretna green.

frankly i found cressida's story the most compelling in season 3 so far.

-benedict. if i have to watch ONE more sex scene for Ben i'm going to scream. wowwee, he had another threesome! and no more queerbaiting--he finally had sex with a man! <--that part is at least noteworthy for his character--but genuinely--i don't really care when his only storyline this season is that all he does is have sex. there are far more compelling stories needing attention right now and yet we get another freaking sex barrage with benedict. Colin and Penelope were robbed here and i don't think it's unreasonable to be annoyed that a B-tier ensemble character got more sexy time than them. and for what purpose? all we get out of ben's enlightenment is that it's ok to be gay and that he's not ready for serious commitment. which is fine and dandy except that that was already drilled into our heads since season 1. i feel like my time was wasted here because i already watched him do the same damn things over and over for THREE SEASONS by now.

AND FOR THAT MATTER:

if they really wanted to show any sense of growth for benedict they could have had him be brutally honest to Tilley and say something like:

"I'm having fun with our arrangement. I am open to seriously committing to someone someday...but I don't think you are that person."

what a world of a difference that would make, wouldn't it? it would show he's coming closer to being ready to meet Sophie but that he's still not quite ready to give up his old ways. i truly believe his season is next and frankly it wouldn't feel so insulting to watch his repetitive storyline if they had written better dialogue in that ONE scene.

(Jess + Shonda, I'm available any time if you want to talk.)

-T.S's You Belong with Me playing during a fucking wedding scene was a choice. All the options in the world and you pick a song about high school jealousy??? Babydoll I could pick five better options off my general playlist. across all three seasons, there's been so many bad cover choices imo.

-Coldplay's Yellow being Polin's song was an actual choice I will salute. Beautiful moment.

-the whole whistledown speech at the end where pen reveals herself was extremely flat to me and left me so bloody disappointed. someone brought this up on reddit and i agree so hard it hurts--why wasn't colin up there by her side? book colin would have VAULTED up over everyone just to be there with her and protect her. instead we get mopey Colin watching her from below. i need to rewatch it again but it felt like there was hardly any reaction from the ton to her speech. it felt like they shrugged their shoulders when she was finished and resumed the ball. my mouth was agape at that--you're telling me not one of the attendees would have rushed up and said "omg it was you??" "how did you do it?" "i can't believe it!" or something to that effect. the bridgertons already had that reaction so it would've been effective for literally anyone in the ton to show some amazement.

-ngl, i also feel quite cheated that Penelope was never celebrated in the way she deserved. yes, she got her wedding and the man she always wanted--but creating/maintaining the Whistledown enterprise is a huge accomplishment. individually there was praise from those closest to her but really there was such a huge element of shame and punishment surrounding it that really bothered me. yeah, she said some mean things but she did it because she was severely neglected/ostracized from her own community. there was no acknowledgment of that at all (that i can recall. once again i should do a rewatch but whatever) and that pains/angers me. not one person beside her mother took a moment to think or say, 'i treated you badly and caused you pain. i'm sorry.' instead they just focused on making penelope apologize again and again when she had only reacted from years of pain, which nobody even deigned to acknowledge.

wasn't there a moment in the book when she gets some applause after her revelation? am i misremembering? but in the show it was like nobody gave a fuck because ooh butterflies! which was...so stupid lol. bless you though, phillippa. penelope single-handedly contributed to the entertainment of the ton for years and exposed awful people even if she made fun of others. characters frequently and often complained if her issue was one day late and debated her true identity and so when she finally reveals herself there's no applause? no true reaction? were they all asleep? what the fuck? that scene was shocking at how badly executed it was. it was rushed and it showed.

-also, WHY choose to have Colin learn Penelope is Lady Whistledown in episode six? I hate this because it crams all the drama in the last two episodes and makes everything feel rushed and frantic. he should have found out in episode three or four and i'll die on that hill. for that matter, his refusal to understand that Whistledown was Penelope's life's work and greatest achievement/power was so annoying. In the book he came around to it pretty fast and yet here it dragged on for way too long. everyone wanted her to give Whistledown up until it benefited them.

-editing to add a huge gripe i have with post-production:

for the love of god, go easy on the filters. the artificial blues and yellows are killing me. in twilight, it was camp. it was great. it does not translate well here. also, have y'all noticed how HEAVILY they blur the backgrounds??? there was one scene with colin and penelope in the garden and every time the camera focuses on one of their faces from over the other's shoulder (they were both seated) the background is blurred heavily. it looks bad!!! stop doing that!!! the backgrounds lend to the vibe! it genuinely makes the show look like crap when i notice that happening. it makes them look like they're using the green screen filter on tik tok. STOP. IT.

(seriously, imagine Joe Wright's Pride and Prejudice, the scene where Elizabeth is on the rocky plains and or she and her aunt and uncle are sitting at the base of that enormous tree--all that gorgeous scenery, remember that? now slap the Bridgerton filter over it so it's all one massive ugly blur. does that mental image fill you with rage? GOOD.)

-i didn't cover this in the prev. post but in part 1, the whole runaway balloon scene was Not Good. Why a balloon? the danger that poses is not that great--why not a runaway horse? there was too much sense of danger to the actual threat posed by a freaking basket. also the way penelope acted in that scene felt very very out of character for her and i hate rewatching it, even if colin looks very dashing while holding the rope. ugh.

-polin's main sex scene was beautiful. i feel kind of disappointed that everything else we got was less than a minute long and not in a weird way. it just feels a fair amount of the promo we got from Nic and Luke was hinting at the sex scenes and yet we got very little in actuality. i keep seeing people talk about there being a minutes long montage of them and yet it got cut. but in season one we got a LOT (imo too many sex scenes between daphne and simon). there were too many side stories happening this season and i'm sure that contributed to that, but there is also a whisper in the back of my mind that tells me that maybe showrunners felt the need to overly pad this season with storylines because they either didn't feel like nicola and luke could carry it alone or because they didn't care.

-i'm really glad genevieve got more scenes here, especially with penelope. their friendship is really nice and it's sad/sweet that penelope chose to spend her last night before her wedding with her, because apparently her mother/sisters didn't plan anything for her.

-frencesca/john. i have no stake in this game since i haven't read their book yet, as i've mentioned before. they're cute together but i'm not invested. they should have gotten married way earlier imo because all the "we need to tip toe around the queen bc she hates us :( but we want to marry now" went on too long and got boring. the michaela thing doesn't bother me but i understand why fans are upset about it.

-polin felt like a side character in part 2. i feel like their scenes went by way too quickly and their screentime was so sparse to the point of legitimately becoming annoying. colin spent most of it mad and penelope spent most of it crying/trying to explain herself. they had hardly any truly happy moments together.

-kanthony was adorable.

-"i love you."

"...are you sure?"

dear reader, my heart split in two. they did a really really good job with showing penelope's self-doubt and low confidence thanks to years of neglect and ridicule and doubt from her mother. when colin stood up for her to her mother and she looked so shocked, my heart broke again for her. poor pen, i just wanted to hold her. when violet and hyacinth hugged penelope after colin announced their engagement i wanted to cry bc poor pen is so starving for positive affirmations/love that just those hugs where enough to overwhelm her.

-also lady danbury saying that she had suspected Pen was whistledown was amazing. i love that she acknowledged her and her love for the bridgertons....but i'm still really upset that they nixed her and penelope's friendship/mentorship that was in the books. she was busy with her own storyline what with violet and marcus and sure it still worked but that was a relationship i was so excited to see in the show...and they didn't even try adapting it except for like, three lines at the very end. >:( hello 911? we've been ROBBED.

(i keep editing this to add more but this is another gripe i have that will not let me rest:

ALSO ALSO ALSO:

i've noticed over seasons 1-2 that the main romantic couple has one dance set to the bridgerton theme song.

in season one, daphne and simon dance to the theme song in episode 2 or 3 (the one where daphne says "and we must try to look like we enjoy each other's company" and simon replies stiffly but then they giggle and laugh all through it which was so cute

in season two, kate and anthony dance to it in the second to last episode where they're dancing with the rest of the bridgertons and lady danbury at the ball they threw that nobody came to. the subtitles say it's a country rendition (whatever that means) of the theme song but they are involved in the dance so it counts.

when i noticed this i thought it was such a cute touch and was anxiously waiting for Penelope and Colin to get their moment.

...instead benedict dances to the bridgerton theme song with Lady Tilley? who he clearly isn't going to end up with? wtf?? and it doesn't even work in the context of the scene because it's a wholesome tune and yet she's dancing like she wants to eat him alive? sigh.

i'm just an old man yelling at clouds now but i wish the writing in this show was better so badly because it meets expectations but it's so frustrating because it can be so much better. let the show breathe! thin out the cast. really pick and choose who gets airtime, because it's precious and you anger your viewers when you waste it.

i will rewatch the season in full at some other point, but i'm too annoyed now. there is much more i want to talk about but this is long enough for now. i will say that at this point i'm not even sure i want to continue watching beyond this season.

(the playlist thing really got me thinking so to prove my point:)

FIVE SONGS THAT ARE A BETTER CHOICE FOR POLIN'S WEDDING DANCE THAN A FUCKING T.S SONG:

-a world alone-lorde (the lyrics are perfect even if they wouldn't be used in an orchestral version)

-little of your love-haim ( perfect choice for the scene imo bc it's very happy and upbeat for a cute wedding dance bit)

-all this and heaven too-florence and the machine

or fuck, if you wanted to make it into a really emotional rather than joyous moment go with dog days are over and it would be a banger with the proper editing bc that song is universal and punches up the emotions any times it's used.

-burning-maggie rogers

-save a kiss--jessie ware

ORRRRR to make it a lil steamy:

-adore you--jessie ware (this would also be perfect ngl)

and i'm not even biased to any of these, i literally just scrolled down my general playlist on spotify and picked them based on the vibes.

[dollgram]

The Dollhouse

(the prison isn't actually called the dollhouse in-universe, that's just my nickname for it.)

i used 74's post on the milgram interiors as a reference.

this post will be updated as things progress.

Court

this is mostly based off of my own theory/headcanon for the court in milgram. even if it turns out to be something else in canon, i probably won't change my mind about it in here.

no one has been in the court since the start of dollgram. none of the prisoners even know what's in it and s refuses to acknowledge its existence.

Warden's Room & Bathroom

it was very plain at first, with a bed, a nightstand, a desk with a chair and a lamp, a closet (although all of the clothes were copies of the warden's uniform), empty shelves, and a table on the corner with a machine that looks like a printer (this is where the "logs" of the prisoner's conversations are made).

since arriving, s has gotten some more pillows and blankets for the bed, stocked the shelves with books (she can't remember what she used to like, so whenever one of the prisoners order one, she orders a copy for herself, both to find out more about them and to see if she likes it), ordered a few sets of pajamas which she stores in the closet, and piled the desk with notebooks where she writes down notes on the prisoners, what she has been dreaming about, scripts for conversations, as well as her personal diary.

the bathroom is a standard bathroom. i don't know. i haven't thought about it much other than the fact that it exists.

Jackalope's Room (allegedly)

nobody knows what's in it.

Interrogation Room

a small room with a table and two chairs. most of the prisoners avoided it at first, but yuuhiko went there to hide from the others. then nobui found out about it and started going there to bug him.

Facilities

don't ask me how any of this works i have no idea. i'm so confused about how the uniforms work even in canon milgram. honestly i've decided to just not think about it unless we get some clarification. these rooms exist. and the prisoners use them. and so does s but only the laundry room and only when everyone's asleep.

Kitchen

a simple kitchen. i imagine it looks somewhat like the one in the manga. although it doesn't have a table, it's just for cooking.

it only had the bare minimum ingredients at the start, but the prisoners have slowly been stocking it with more stuff.

after people (jun and yuuhiko) kept trying to shirk cooking duty, tadashi made a paper with the proper order and taped it to the wall. then nobui drew a bunch of stuff along the edges to make it "more awesome". s sees it every time she goes to the kitchen and doesn't put herself on it because she's a little freeloader.

Storage Room

at first it had common household items, but the prisoners store anything they request that isn't a personal item in there. surprisingly, the whole room stayed very organized, because half of the prisoners are neat freaks.

Panopticon

it looks pretty much identical to the one in the novel. because of the table, it's been denominated the meeting and dining room.

the prisoners have an unspoken agreement to not look into eachother's cells.

The Cells

all of them looked the same in the beginning: a bed, a desk with a chair and a lamp, and a closet. with time, they have been decorating.

in jun's cell, the bed is full of pillows and plushies. she uses her desk as a vanity table, and even placed a mirror against the wall to complete the look. she also taped posters of her favorite idols and bands to the walls.

tadashi's cell mostly stayed the same. they store the books they're currently reading in their cell, but move them to the storage room when they're done.

nobui draws on the walls of her cell whenever the inspiration strikes her. she has what she calls the "chill zone", a blanket on the floor with a few pillows, snacks and manga.

yuuhiko also hasn't done much with his cell, because he doesn't stay there much. he just leaves his things there when he's not using them.

[acourtofthought]

Hey there! I've been thinking about something lately and I'd love to have your opinion on it as someone who usually has great takes about this series..

In ACOWAR we have Feyre saying this to Lucien: "You fit into the Spring Court as little as I did Lucien. You enjoyed its pleasures and diversions. But don't pretend you weren't made for something more than that."

I get that this was foreshadowing of what we would discover later on about Lucien's heritage. A sign that maybe Lucien's future indeed will be in a different court (Day Court) and not in the Spring Court. And even though I would love to see Lucien living happily in the DC this worries me a bit considering that we also have this:

"Her sister's delicate scent of jasmine and honey lingered in the red-stoned hall like a promise of spring."

"But Elain...The Spring Court had been made for someone like her."

"He made this one for Elain. Since it was winter and she missed the flowers."

All the spring and flower imagery associated with Elain, and specially the 2nd quote, lead me to believe that her future will be somehow heavily connected to the Spring Court, who knows if SJM doesn't make her the next High Lady of the SC even (you know.. all that talk about the HL title being able to go to someone outside the bloodline).

We have a Lucien whose future doesn't seem to be in the SC (in a forever sense) and an Elain whose future seems to be in the SC. As an Elucien I don't really like that 😅 What do you think?

Hello!! I do see the point you're making except Sarah turned it all around again. Lucien was always meant for more and it's clear to see he was the one who kept things running in the SC more often than not. We're told that the people of Spring looked to Lucien first to set the example which means there was no higher position for him within the court, nobody else he could work for since he already worked for the HL in what was the most important position after Tamlinsomewhere. So Feyre thinking he was meant for more than what he was doing in the Spring would almost have to be followed with something along the lines of "You enjoyed its pleasures and diversions. But don't pretend you weren't made for something more than that" because what else could she have said? "You should have been HL of Spring!" Sarah is never that direct. Just as the Suriel said "stay with the High Lord and live to see everything righted" and we all assumed it meant Tamlin though in truth he was referring to Rhys. It wouldn't make sense for Feyre to think Lucien could ever become HL of Spring so I believe her phrasing had more to do with the author hinting that Lucien should have always been a ruler somewhere rather than following the rule of another. I think it's important to remember that Feyre is also not the expert on Lucien and his history with Spring. She'd known him all of what, a year? Her only experience with Lucien in Spring was during Amarantha's reign and then after UTM when they were all struggling to find their footing. She was not there to see what Lucien's life had been like the first century, two centuries, (three centuries?) that he had lived there which means it's not really for her to say whether Lucien should be in Spring or not. The part where Sarah turned that around though is what we're told after this conversation between Feyre and Lucien, how he did miss the Spring Court and though working for Tamlin didn't work out the way he imagined, he had hoped for it being something different. To me means there is still the possibility for Lucien and Elain to turn it into what he'd always imagined because if anyone could the Spring Court into something special it would be them. He has shown how much he does care for the court through all he's done for it, for the fact that he continues trying to help it's High Lord through his depression (which would benefit it's people), for the fact that he allows the NC to station him there though he knows he's not really being embraced. It was what, long ago, he'd once thought life at Tamlin's court would be." An ache like a blow to the chest went through him. "I do not belong in the Autumn Court. And I'm willing to be I'm no longer welcome at h-the Spring Court." Home, he had almost said. "I don't have anywhere else to go. You ruined any chance I have of going back to Spring. Not to Tamlin, but ot the court beyond his house. Everyone either still believes the lies you spun or they believe me complicity in your deceit." To me that indicates that Lucien has unfinished business in Spring, that he does feel sadness over not living there no matter Feyre's thoughts on it. It's not that Sarah doesn't speak through other characters at times but in this case I think it's safe to say that Feyre's words should be taken with a grain of salt consider it's not but a few paragraphs later that she thinks, "I'd do it mostly to keep Elain from ever going to the Spring Court." Feyre is not impartial enough in regards to the Spring Court for me to believe that she knows best when it comes to Lucien. There's also the possibility that Elain and Lucien will spend time in Spring helping to turn the court around (which means the hints for her and Spring would still be valid) but their end destination is Day. There's a lot of possible clues to work with and a lot of directions that Sarah could take them both but whatever she does, she's clearly set them up to be together while doing so.

[quill-of-thoth]

Letters from Watson: The Cardboard Box

Crimes in Context:

Trigger warning for the whole story, since it's pretty much just spousal abuse, and we're going to cover that (briefly) here.

We have previously covered the inability to divorce in Victorian England, where you could practically separate, and be legally divorced under very specific circumstances, but it took an act of parliament to be allowed to remarry, and it was therefore de-facto impossible for many women to leave abusive husbands or to support themselves at the same level after leaving one. Reasons for a divorce to be granted included adultery and extreme cruelty. Yes, extreme cruelty. The bar for proving that to ecclesiastical court and being alive at the same time would be a high and thin one. (Historically: not being able to leave abusive husbands is a factor in MANY historical poisonings. This is not confined to the 1800's or 1900's either - Giulia Tofana, whose wikipedia entry is weirdly short, was famous, posthumously, for providing poisons to women seeking to end their marriages.) Reading between the lines of Jim Benson's tale, we have a more unreliable than usual narrator. Everything he says is through the lens of "she made me do it" which is both a very common pattern of abusers telling their story and prevents his final letter from being the good-faith explanation of events that we often see in other dead, dying, or condemned criminals in this series. The events are also not reconstruct-able by anyone else besides Sarah, and we have no knowledge of whether or not she ever recovers. He never has proof of anything he says regarding Sarah's feelings or what she may have said to Mary, and the only proof he has of Alec and Mary's affair is the custom that a married woman would likely NOT be going on a day trip to New Brighton alone with a male platonic friend.

(Its possible that Mary was not having an affair with Alec or even considering it, but Mary would have been well aware that absolutely nobody would have taken her word that nothing was going on - so I tend to think that either she was having an affair with Alec or she was engineering a plausible reason, i.e. her adultery, to leave her husband. She had two elder sisters with the means to live independently, if she tired of Jim's drinking and jealousy, she had some options.) We especially don't have evidence that Sarah loved Jim - at best, we have an awkward exchange where Jim interpreted a lessening of formality as love (or lust) and Sarah awkwardly backing out of the situation. It's equally ambiguous whether Sarah was attempting to put more distance between the two of them or if she genuinely felt vindictive about unreciprocated feelings. Whether Mary's suspicion had more do do with Jim's violent words and history of drinking than anything Sarah said, or if Sarah took it upon herself to, belatedly, vet her baby sister's husband's character. Hell, she could have been nitpicking their financial arrangements and Jim's career progression. In effect, we don't know anything about this case, and that, more than the gruesome clues and the murder, may have been why it was left out of the story collections for so long.

Why else wasn't it included in collections?

It's not the only story that contains abuse, spousal and otherwise, and it's not the goriest one. When it comes to abuse and very probable murder of a wife, not to mention abuse of his stepdaughters, we have Dr Roylott of the Speckled Band. When it comes to gore, we've had Rucastle getting his throat torn mostly out by a dog in The Copper Beeches, and we're about to have The Engineer's Thumb, which starts with Hatherley missing a thumb. We've also had the prolonged torture via starvation of Kratides in The Greek Interpreter. It is, however, probably the most hopeless story in the entire canon that deals with abuse. Absolutely nobody is saved, and absolutely nobody is given any closure - in fact, Susan Cushing is probably having a much worse time overall now that Holmes has solved the case. Yes, she would eventually know that her baby sister has been murdered by her own husband and it's absolutely broken her middle sister, who she clearly cares about even if she wants to never live with her, ever. But I posit that it's measurably worse if she has any access to Jim Benson's account - because at one point she approved of him as a match for Mary, and his account will make it very clear how wrong she was, and how Sarah, whose concerns or pessimism have probably been dismissed more than once among the sisters, was Mary's only resource.

[cwc-emoji-pluck]

Hey,

may I request these three emojis for the event?

🌈⚡️🐸

Hope you're having fun with this!

~ Flurry

member: minghao x fem!reader

genre: fluff, light angst, percy jackson au <3

word count: 1488

warnings: mentions of sword fighting, swearing, y/n 'slaps' minghao on the shoulder but it's not like. bad or anything its like a playful smack to the shoulder, and also jokes about y/n playfully !!! hitting chan and hansol (they're besties pls don't worry) also cheol smacking joshua's shoulder? idk there is a lot of shoulder smacking going on

emojis requested:

🌈 - rick riordan’s world of percy jackson; seventeen are demigods in modern times ⚡️: a campground in the woods where it is common for people to suddenly disappear after swimming in the believed-to-be haunted lake  🐸 - Minghao

author's note: hahahaha i have no idea what i'm doing,,,it's been so long since i posted something school has just been...honestly it's not that bad i just don't have the energy to write a lot bc in between classes i take naps so :) also hello flurry it's been so long </3 i hope you are doing amazing and i apologize for taking 10000 years lmao pls enjoy !! (also thanks to my bestie @gallivantingheart for beta reading ily)

my main blog: @wonwooslibrary

Y/N ran across the field away from her home cabin and towards the volleyball court where her two best friends sat. “He’s gone.” 

Mingyu and Seokmin, sons of Zeus and Apollo respectively, look over to Y/N. 

“Who?” Mingyu asks. 

“Minghao, he’s gone. The last time I saw him was when he said he was going to the lake. I told him not to go and that it would be safer if he went with someone but of course he didn’t listen to me.” 

Seokmin’s eyes widened. “Are you sure?”

Y/N nodded. “Yeah. Soonyoung said he wasn’t at archery today and Chan said he hasn’t seen him since before he went to the lake. Junhui saw him on his way to the lake, but didn’t see him come back.” 

Mingyu hummed. “Did he actually like,” he gestured with his hands a bit. “Go in the water?” 

“I’m not sure. The last I heard from him was that he was going to the lake. He wasn’t in his cabin, either.” 

Y/N wasn’t going to tell her best friends that they never actually went to the Hecate cabin, and instead asked one of Minghao’s bunk mates if they had seen him. The Hecate cabin freaked Y/N out. 

“He can’t be too far, and I doubt he would willingly get in the water knowing the rumors. Maybe he’ll show up again at dinner tonight?” Seokmin suggested. 

Yeah. Maybe.

*＊✿❀○❀✿＊* *＊✿❀○❀✿＊* *＊✿❀○❀✿＊*

Later, the three friends, along with their recent Capture the Flag winner, Seungcheol, son of Ares, God of War, walked to the dining pavilion. Seungcheol was a good friend to the group, usually acting as a strong father figure to the others, but definitely wasn’t afraid to let loose, something that his father clearly lacked in. 

Being the worry wart she was, Y/N, of course, asked Seungcheol if he had seen her boyfriend. 

“I saw him yesterday around,” he looked up as if he was rolling his eyes. “Noon? Maybe one?” 

Y/N sighed. “I just hope nothing happened to him.”

“I’m sure he’s fine. Don’t worry---it’s Hao, he can get himself out of everything.” 

Minghao didn’t come to dinner, and that’s when Y/N started to freak out.

*＊✿❀○❀✿＊* *＊✿❀○❀✿＊* *＊✿❀○❀✿＊*

Minghao was a wonderful boyfriend, that was obvious. Of course, it was even more obvious to Seokmin, Mingyu and Seungcheol, as well as Y/N’s other two friends, Hansol and Chan, when Minghao came up to them a couple of days previous to his “disappearance”. 

“Guys, could you help me with something? And not tell Y/N about it?” Minghao pulled his capture-the-flag teammates to the side and pulled off his helmet. Looking around, he made sure nobody else was hiding around them to get them out of the game. 

“You want us to keep a secret from Y/N?” Seungcheol sighed. “Whatever it is, it’s a bad idea.” 

Seokmin and Mingyu, ever the worried friends, quickly agreed with Seungcheol. 

“No, no, no,” Minghao started. “Hear me out before you say no.” 

“Well, get on with it then.”

“I want to set up a date with Y/N. I know that she hasn't been having a good past few weeks and I want to make her feel better.” 

Seokmin nodded. “And what do you plan on doing for her?”

“Well,” Minghao moved his sword from his right hand to his left. “I want to set up a picnic in the strawberry fields, but I don’t want Y/N to try and find me. Would you be able to keep my whereabouts a secret after I see her tomorrow?” 

Hansol, who was silent up until now, spoke up. “I’m down, just don’t send her after us. I don’t want to get beat for lying to her.” 

Chan quickly nodded his head --- it looked painful to Minghao. “I second that, have you ever been hit by Y/N? It hurts!” 

“I guess I agree,” Seungcheol said after patting Chan on the shoulder. “Just don’t come up with a lie that gets us into trouble.”

“Why did he think it was a good idea for his excuse to be the lake? That might just have been the stupidest thing that has ever come out of Minghao’s mouth.” 

Seokmin quickly agreed with Hansol’s statement. “Yeah, seriously. I’m almost worried that Y/N will throw herself into the lake in order to find him.” 

The two, who were sitting out front of the Demeter cabin, waiting for Junhui to come out, complained. 

“I certainly would have to agree,” Junhui scared the two as he opened the door to his cabin as quietly as he could. 

“Jeez Junnie! A little warning would be nice.” Seokmin put his hand on his chest. 

Junhui laughed. “By the way, Seokkie, you shouldn’t have to worry too much. Y/N is supposed to be led to the strawberry fields soon anyway.” 

“Who is taking her there again?” Hansol looked at Junhui who still stood behind the two. 

“I think it’s Jeonghan. You know how much Y/N trusts every word out of his mouth.” 

Seokmin scoffed. “Yeah, he’s the first person whose words I would believe without a second thought."

As Seokmin said that, Joshua and Seungcheol walked over to join the group, their sword fighting practice having ended just minutes before. 

“Hey Shua, Cheol, how was practice?” Hansol asked the two oldest. 

“It was good,” Joshua started. “I’m not sure how I feel about Chan asking if he could join us. You know how competitive he is, and with Cheol there, I got scared.” 

Junhui smiled. “Ah, Chan, he’s always so excited to learn and improve.” 

“Yeah, but it’s better when he’s getting his ass kicked by Y/N rather than Cheol. Even if he loses to Y/N, she still goes easy on him. Cheol just goes all out.” 

“Hey! You know I wouldn’t hurt Chan!” Seungcheol smacked Joshua’s right shoulder. “But speaking of Y/N, she’s being led by Jeonghan out to the fields right now.”

“Why are we going this way? I thought you were taking me to the lake so I could look for Minghao?” 

“Just---hang on, okay? I want to show you something, it’ll be really quick and then we can look by the lake again.” 

Y/N sighed in defeat and let herself be dragged by Jeonghan across the camp to the strawberry fields. 

“Why are we here? It’s starting to get dark.” 

“Well, look at the field.” 

As Jeonghan said that, Y/N turned towards the fields, and there stood her boyfriend, flowers in his hand and a picnic blanket at his feet in between the rows of strawberry bushes. The sunset behind him made the sight even more ethereal. 

Covering her mouth with her hand, Y/N gasped. “No…” She looked to the side to see Jeonghan’s reaction, only to see the tree that he was leaning against seconds ago. 

“Minghao? What…is this?” Y/N walked through the little paths, avoiding stepping on the bushes, and stopped in front of her boyfriend. 

“I wanted to surprise you,” He handed the bouquet of flowers over to Y/N. “I know you’ve been struggling with training for your quest and being head counselor. I just wanted to do something nice for you before you stress yourself out too much.” 

Wiping the tears off her face with her left hand, Y/N used her right hand to smack her boyfriend’s shoulder. 

“What the fuck Minghao! How could you do this to me! I thought you died!” 

Minghao backed away from Y/N to avoid getting smacked again, all while holding his now-stinging shoulder. “Why would I have died?” 

“I was told, by your asshole friends, that you went to the lake! Alone! At night!”

“...So they’re my asshole friends now?” Minghao laughed. 

“Yes, they’re your friends! They lied to me! For two days! Friends don't lie!” 

“Awe, babe,” Minghao pulled Y/N to him in a hug. “You know I wouldn’t leave you out of the blue like that. I will always come back to you.”

The following day, Y/N couldn’t stop herself from walking into the amphitheater where Seungcheol and Chan were swordfighting, the rest of the others watching diligently on the sidelines. 

“You!” Y/N yelled, holding her sword up, the point facing Seungcheol, who was disarmed quickly after Y/N caught him off guard. “Why did you convince them to lie to me!” 

“Ha, you see, Y/N-” 

Seungcheol bolted out of the amphitheater as fast as he could, Y/N on his tail.

The others, who were still sitting on the bleachers, looked over at Chan, who just shrugged and picked up Seungcheol’s sword. 

“She requested revenge,” Minghao said from his spot by the door that Y/N and Seungcheol had just ran through. “I promise it wasn’t my idea.” 

Seokmin leaned over to whisper in Hansol’s ear, “Okay, I lied. Minghao’s the last person whose words I would believe without question.”

[scratchandplaster]

Stack The Deck - PART 9

CW: regretful Whumper, Lima syndrom, trauma, paranoia

PART 8 ⇽ [Masterlist] ⇾ PART 10

・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

Things had gone worse during the short break they took from each other. Morris came back to look at him, silent and frantic, while gathering his luggage.

Everything went by quickly after that, Elliot being lifted from the mattress and stashed away in the Civic's backseat, waiting to be picked up. He couldn't overhear the mysterious call Morris made in the next room, but whoever he spoke to made quite an impact on his behavior. Amber; she had to be it this time. He deserved to live after all, the high court decided.

Wordlessly, Morris had joined him in the car just moments later. Quiet curses roamed through the space between, his eyes always fixed on the man in the windshield's reflection. 

It felt like a dream, entering the daylight again. Melting snow coated the meadows and industrial structures that slipped past them with anxious pace, hinting at the first signs of winter. It's Sunday, he realized, the first Advent.

Just a few more rehearsals, and their performance would be flawless. He couldn't wait to see the joy they always brought to the audience, the more reserved admirers of their art had their own way to express that.

Suddenly, the car came to a stop. Elliot faintly recognized the area, a few miles away from suburbia; he was closer to home than he imagined. As he admired the gentle blanket of white that glazed the street, an ice-cold gust of air surprised him. Morris pushed himself out of the driver's side to open the rear door, with a firm grab on his coat collar, he was pulled out to stand.

"Up you go, Ell!"

The soft crunch of snow underneath felt surreal, like it didn't belong there. Swaying lightly in the frosty breeze, boiling up from the inside but breathing out nothing more than little clouds, Elliot was held up by strong hands.

It was Advent Sunday in the deserted wilderness, nobody in sight. A perfect place to get rid of someone.

With a painful frown in his features, Morris continued to search for eye contact and was rewarded with a glassy stare. He prayed to never meet him again, to be something else than the stopgap.

"Ell, you're a decent guy. I wished we had met under nicer circumstances."

Silence. Elliot thought about spring, and his mother. He doesn't call often enough.

"I will end your life, if any of this gets to the authorities."

Nodding synchronously to his heartbeat, he didn't dare to take the chance.

It's a trick, he's going to put a bullet into my head the second I turn around. The fact that Morris was way more fond of everything that could stab didn't convince him otherwise. It's a trick.

"I thought - you know, I had this whole plan made up... Fuck! It's going to be okay." Pulling the sad piece of dried up cotton out of his pocket, Morris began draping the scarf around Elliot's neck, back to its original purpose. Fingers plucked at it, fluffing it up and around to offer the best protection.

"Listen, it doesn't matter how you feel about me right now, the second you're downtown, you need to go to a hospital."

"Yeah." A caw was all he would get out anymore.

"Nonono, listen. You go to the ER and tell them you, I don't know, slammed your hand in a car door. They won't believe a word, but that doesn't matter. Stick to that story, and they will stop asking eventually." 

Morris had other worries right now, planning to delete all his unnoticed messages before anyone would lay an eye on it, a witness to his failure.

"Don't call her, okay? That's not your problem anymore."

Amber didn't use to be his problem for quite a while, actually, not until two days ago. He had pressed her and the little quirks she brought far away, the walls had ripped open now, bleeding inside and out.

Brown eyes dead focused on the asphalt, skin red with infection.

"Okay?"

Only nodding, again.

"Two miles, this way," Morris whispered closely and pointed to the steeple in the distance. It was a fast gesture, nearly over in a blink of an eye, but Elliot could still sense the firm hug Morris gave him, pressing into his shoulders to send shockwaves down his spine.

"In another life, I'm sure we would've had a great time together, right?" Putting the phone back into Elliot's pocket, Amber's number deleted just in case, he held the weak figure at his waist to keep it upright. There was a lot to say, an apology or maybe just a lonely goodbye, but nothing came over Morris' lips.

The pressure left Elliot, standing on his own. It would happen any second, he knew that now, a quick stab between the ribs to let it all out. Morris wouldn't drag this out, he was a decent man too, after all. Watching the sky, blues and grays mixing together in the morning sun, he waited for the end of his suffering.

The motor that never stopped running sounded so far away suddenly, just a buzz in the shell of his ear. He waited.

I don't call mom often enough, really.

Through the back mirror, Morris traced the abandoned man at the edge of the road. He looked so tiny against the open nature, vulnerable to the forces of nature.

Even if he had the nerve left to look at the license plates, he seemed to pass on this opportunity. They would be changed in the near future anyway. Before making it around a curve, he could see how his legs started to stumble forward, too bruised and stiff to bend correctly, but still going. He was expected back home; at least that he had to get right, the rest was irrelevant.

--------

Elliot couldn't remember how he made it back to his apartment building, the world drifted around him in a blur of colors. At one point, he carried himself into a subway station, leaning against the handrails like a wasted lunatic. 

He heard laughter far away, normally anxious it could be about him, but these thoughts were nowhere near. He was glad nobody spoke to him, no help, no nervous interest. Morris would be back, and everyone who suspected foul play regarding the injuries put themselves at the same risk he lived through.

Just me, just me and nobody else. Nobody can know-

Struggling to get the door open, his forehead pressed violently against the wood to keep balance, until the keys finally slipped in to enter the only place left untainted. With a clumsy kick of his foot, it slammed shut again.

Elliot would have fallen asleep, if a silent hop hadn't greeted him near instantly. It felt wrong to have Ginkgo's soft hair next to his agony-ridden body, her noiseless presence coming over him in a wave of peace. She must have been starving by now, neglected for days.

What am I even good for?

Silently apologizing over and over again, he let his unmarked hand pet over her back, smearing wayward fluids all through her precious gray-brown fur. Any minute now, it's not safe.

So caught in his fear he tasted at the back of his throat, he tried to remember something that was promised just a few minutes earlier.

The rabbit's tiny snout nibbled and licked at his elbow, kissing away some scattered drops of blood. Oh, I forgot the yogurt drops.

Half of him wasn't present anymore, gone with time. He was a stain on the mattress, a pool on the bathroom floor. It's a trick, he will come back again. Lost in the feverish heat of his own grimy body, he continued to lay still, only being roused by Ginkgo from time to time. 

I need to feed her.

Acting on autopilot again, his body moved towards the pantry. He watched himself fill her bowl up with fresh water along with hay and her usual muesli, ending the basic task by sitting next to her on the floor, breathing heavily. 

"You're okay," he gasped, not sure who of the two he meant, "you're going to be okay!"

The whole left side of his body was numb, its mere existence scrapped from the mind's perception, like it didn't belong to him.

He needed to prepare for his captor's return: barricade the door, get a knife - a hammer, anything to protect himself. Later, his screaming muscles dictated, letting the husk of a person sink into the ground beneath.

Elliot was allowed to rest now, although his suffering was for nothing. Alas, that's the nature of it.

・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

Thanks for reading 🤍 [Febuwhump 2023 Masterlist]

@febuwhump, @whatwasmyprevioususername

[cripticmotherfucker]

Tw SH, Substance abuse, relapse, homelessness

So I got evicted because my landlord wanted to raise the rent, and instead of being upfront about it, they found out we were planning on moving and made the excuse that our apartment smelled like marijuanna. It was five days until christmas when i got the notice. I don't have the money for court fees and definately don't have the time or energy for court so I can't even fight it. On new years I'll officially be homeless. Ableit it won't be permanent we have plans to get a new place, which is definately not an improvement from our already small falling apart place but I'm still greatful for that. But I'll be separated from my partner. Like my platonic life partner. Like I love them so much I cook for them daily and they drive me around because I cant drive and i can't imagine living my life without them type partner. They are my bestfriend. And I can't bear to know they're gonna be suffering mentally crashing at their parents house and I wont be able to do anything about it because I haven't been able to work for nearly a year now. I'm also having to get rid of a lot of things that are very dear to me, which has been especially hard growing up with scarcity trauma and ending up with hoarding tendencies. I won't have my own space for a month. I grew up sharing a room, and even once I got my own as a teen I never had any privacy and wasn't really allowed to take up space and so sleeping in a one bedroom home with 2 other people and two cats is going to be a lot to me . I'm going to try to see it as just a very long vacation crashing on a friends couch but truth is its really going to drive me crazy. I ended up drinking an entire bottle of wine to myself and BY MYSELF and that's where the real issue comes in. I am totally fine usually to drink wine in moderation as a self care or social thing, as long as I limit myself to one glass. But when I use it as a coping mechanism for stress, and then also do it by myself with no one around to judge me or to keep me in check or to drink up the rest of the bottle before I can, that's when I know I've fucked up. I also dissociated really bad when told the news to the point where I stared at the same spot on the floor for an hour, scratching at my fingers which are now blistered from it, and when my roomate left for work I began immediately uncontrollablely hyperventilating and crying. I feel so hopeless. But not even in a unreasonable and depressed way. In a genuinely ... things are awful way. I've tried to be positive and hopeful for so long. But I mean... if you lost all your dreams, most of your mobility, your independence, your money, and your house you'd be upset about it too. If you weren't I think there'd be something else wrong. Anyway. I know not many people care but this is my safe space where I document my brain. I used to journal but my mother stole my journal as a kid ahahah so now I can only use tumblr bc i know she isn't tech savvy enough to see it or even find me here because nobody has for 5 years. Anyway if you did read this and need company in misery feel free to message me.

[ashes-writing-corner]

Back with another dragon rider AU, this time featuring Kate Laswell! I don't see a whole lot about her, but maybe that's just because I don't follow her tag? But eh I decided to give her a dragon anyway. Though hers serves a slightly different purpose than the other riders. Let's check them out!

Laswell and Tegan

Laswell

1. Is a fairly new rider, doesn't technically have a need for a dragon, but appreciates Tegan and her loyalty.

2. Kate worked originally as the spymaster for the Athanian royal family. After Makarov was discovered practicing dark magic, she took his place as court sorcerer.

3. She practices many different types of magic, but most notably she's a master of warging and Astral projection.

4. Kate is also known as the Raven Master, as she's normally accompanied by an unkindness of ravens, which she can warg into.

5. Works closely with the dragons of Dragon's Keep, but stays mostly out of Simon's way in doing his job as Keeper.

6. She was warged into one of her ravens the night of Simon's abandonment, so she also knows what happened, but nobody else knows that she knows.

7. Kate also functions as a guardian to Princess Lyra, especially after the death of her mother, Queen Delphine.

8. She's close with Captain Price, and knows how he felt about the late queen.

9. Claimed Tegan in her early 30s, but doesn't ride her very often.

10. Believes she can warg into Tegan but its taking a lot of time and practice to learn.

Tegan

1. Is a relatively young dragon, less than a century at the beginning of the story. Probably in her 80s.

2. Kate is her first Rider, and Tegan wants her to her only.

3. Tegan has a very unique ability. Similar to a cuttlefish, she can change her skin/scales color and texture on a whim to blend in with her surroundings.

4. She does spywork alongside Kate for the royal family. She tries not to get involved with court politics, but if asked, Tegan will give a brutally honest opinion.

5. Her scales shine a gorgeous golden brown in the light. Her flames are golden with veins of bronze and red.

6. Tegan has soft scales on her neck, similar to what Aerys has all over his body. It's believed she has a lesser form of his mutation, and she's faced ridicule from other dragons for it.

7. Kyle has talked to both Kate and Tegan about making her a set of armor for her neck, but Tegan knows it would just get in the way of her spy work.

8. She may or may not have feelings for Aerys, who's stood up for her many times, as she's done for him.

9. When not being ridden or doing work, she likes to read in the Keep's library. Whenever Simon finds a book missing, Tegan usually has it and is quick to return it.

10. She's initially against Kate warging into her, but she's getting used to the practice.

Yeah, I imagine in the fantasy setting Kate is some kind of magic user, and I thought this was fitting. But let me know what you guys think. I think Graves is gonna be my next one, him or Farrah one of the two. Have an awesome day! ^.^

[hotgirlstiles]

top vera hotgirlstiles sterekmitski songs

ok im not even gonna pretend that i can condense this into a top 5..... that's too much of a challenge! and this also isn't in particular order!

1. francis forever. no need for an explanation. (i look up at the gaps of sunlight.... i miss you more than anything!!) (i dont need the world to see that ive been the best i can be, but i dont think i could stand to be where you dont SEE ME...)

2. me and my husband. but me and my husband we're doing better.. ITS ALWAYS BEEN JUST HIM AND ME.... TOGETHER! so i bet all i have on that FURROWED BRW..... and at least in this lifetime we're sticking together!!! (wails) AND I AM THE IDIOT WITH THE PAINTED FACE IN THE CORNER TAKING UP SPACE BUT WHEN HE WALKS IN I AM LOVED. I AM LOVED!!!!

3. i will. just listen to it. or else i'll just put the entire song on here...... it's THE post canon song actually

4. a pearl. ok. this song is a little. whew. its just that i fell in love with a war. and nobody told me it ended.

5. shame. this is my season 2 sterek song where it's sterek in a secret relationship and everyone in stiles' life is just. diappointed in him forhis lies and decisions except for derek who's so so big and strong and warm and protects him....

6. i don't smoke.. hnggg i dont smoke except for when im missing you....... (smoker derek) (stiles missing derek in s5) (ha ha) and if you need to be MEAN be mean to ME.. i can take it and put it inside of ME.... if your hands need to break more than trinkets in your room YOU CAN LEAN ON MY ARM as you.. break my heart......

7. geyser. YALL ALREADY KNOW HOW I FEEL ABT THIS. this is soooo stiles abt derek. this is stiles getting courted by every powerful alpha but rejecting them becase derek is his number one because derek is the one he wants!!! STILES DESPERATELY, BUT I WILL BE THE ONE YOU NEED THE WAY I CANT BE WITHOUT YOU. are you fucking seeing it

8. pink in the night. this is THEEEE stiles pining for derek song im not even exaggerating. whatever song youre thinking of NO.. its this one... i promise you would i let you guys down.... i cant even write down the lyrics like you just have to experience the song yourself..

9. two slow dancers. this is my post canon sterek in their 30s song it makes me sick to my tumy

10. once more to see you. another s2 sterek fic........ derekpov maybe.......... in the rearview mirror i saw the setting sun on your neck... and felt the taste of you bubble up inside me.......

and i am done...... we need like a comunity course. sterek through the mitski lens. and maybe then you will all see the truth....

[deadqueernoldor]

Tinwe getting hurt before Feanor dies would be bad for everyone. Thingol would probably have some understanding because he also has a daughter. But there will be no more caution. They will speedrun everything out of pure rage, and get her back. Worst case scenario is Nerdanel finds out, and it will take her only 5 minutes to get her back. Don't stand between a mother and her child.

I've literally been thinking about this since the thought first came to me oh god (mentions of torture and that fun stuff under the cut as precaution. Also this just evolved to a whole ass bullet point fic. I'm sorry but also not really)

So Tinwë gets captured. At first nobody knows bc its was a whole mess of a battle but then they realise shes not hiding in some tent with aegves (who still goes by melindë back then) but that shes gone gone

Feanor fucking loses it. Like full on rage tearing down his own tent losing it.

Caranthir is no better. Maglor takes him away bc angry Caranthir is a time bomb and without tinwe there to even distract him for half a second he's gotta make sure his little brother doesnt blow up on someone

Feanor is dead set on murdering Morgoth with his bare hands now. No need for swords. Fists and teeth will do. But they've seen balrog for the first time now. He knows they need better weapons. Better armour. Better everything.

So feanor immediately begins scouting the lands with the help of the northern sindar (who he actually likes bc they hate Morgoth and arent cowards like thingol who hides behind a maia's skirts)

During that absence Morgoth sends the message for parley. Noldor leave in exchange for... not a Silmaril. But tinwe. To rub it in theres a strand of hair with the missive.

Caranthir loses it. Absolutely loses it. Huan has to tackle him before he marches to Angband unarmed and unprepared.

Maedhros figures its bullshit but it could give them time and an overview. He goes with a large company as canon, but they still get overwhelmed.

Maedhros gets taken to angband.

He does see tinwe. Morgoth's got her as a bit of a pet really. 'Pretty white hair that glows just like the silmarils' pet. He's so goddamn obsessed with the silmarils I could see that somewhat happening.

When feanor returns he finds out that now his firstborn AND his only daughter are in angband.

You know when someone's close to snapping and murdering everyone who breathes in their vicinity and their eye twitches ever so slightly? Feanor. That's feanor constant state for thirty fucking years while he's evolving and improving weapons and military strategy.

Fingolfin comes.

Feanor cant be fucking arsed to be high king anymore. He's got his mind so set on getting tinwe and maedhros from angband that Maglor has been acting as King more often than not in those years

He gives Fingolfin the crown and cant ve bothered with their plight. His babies are there! His BABIES!

Fingon still rescues maedhros. But tinwe is still very much inside angband bc pet status. :)

So canon maedhros is back but tinwe is still away.

NOW WE CAN GO TWO WAYS

Feanor refuses to go anywhere else. He makes his own stronghold right beside Himring. Literally opposite of angband.

Or: he goes to Himring with maedhros but he's focused on weapons and military rather than the ruling aspects so maedhros lord of Himring.

Anyway.

Thingol is a petty bitch still. Doesnt care about the noldor a la "you murdered my kin now yours suffers rightly". Melian knows he shouldnt be shittalking but when has thingol listened to her speaking the truth? Never.

LUTHIEN AND BEREN HAPPENS

NOW THIS IS WHERE IT GETS JUICY

They go to angband. They get their silmaril. They see tinwe but dont have time to get her out bc the enchantment only had so much power over morgoth's court.

Beren leaves angrist.

Tinwe hides it. Frees herself. Next chance she got shes out.

That chance however... Nirnaeth.

She slips out while the host hackles fingon's (?) troops with thrills of their own loved ones.

She makes it to the feanorian camp outpost.

Caranthir sees. Caranthir screams. Caranthir cries for the first time in like 400 years.

Tinwe points at uldor/ulfang (forgot which one oops) and says she recognises them. They're in league with Morgoth.

No backstabbing. They get to fingon. Cant save him but theres less loss. Feanor is anger personified.

THIS is where hes taking on balrog unheeded and dies.

(Tinwe goes to the kinslaying in doriath. Her reasoning for her anger? Luthien could have sung TWO more notes and there would have been enough time to get her out. Beren had enough time to give her the knife into her hand but not to use a blade that could cut through metal? Oh she hates the family of luthien. Not the babys. But every adult she sees she will murder in cold blood. They left her to Morgoth for YEARS because they didnt want to. Revenge is sweet)

[manorinthewoods]

((This fits, almost exactly, the current ending of a character in one of my many start-and-finish-only plotlines I've come up with.))

Fifty years.

Fifty years I tracked Magister Bellos. Fifty years I grew up, fatherless, motherless, without guardian or bloodmate. Fifty years, adrift in the seas of the earth, without purpose except revenge. Fifty years training, working, honing whatever meager scraps of power I had, the sight of my mother's flesh melting from her bones in the fires of his army.

Twenty years I spent helpless, watching that man as he took control, went from nobody to everything. Twenty years watching every nation overthrown by this nobody. Watching him set the world like dominoes. Divide Kandemark. Conquer Maredan, weak from its new acquisition. Take that strength, and invade Laene, and Ellada, and Ishar.

I watched him burn cities. I watched him slay hundreds without a thought. I watched his men, armed with the fellest of magics, burning the corpses of those they slew to fuel the rings that gave them the strength of a hundred in the hands of ten.

And then he vanished. His castle fell. This Emperor - worshiped like a god! - gone, just like that. And yet his Empire did not fall. It stood, stronger than ever, the ghostly hand of the king of kings rendering it unassailable. I knew then, and know now, that nothing I can do can break what he forged. But I can punish him, if nothing else. I am strong enough. I know how he gained his power. And I have replicated it.

So what am I to do when I find old Nennos Corven, painting in the square, teaching children how to capture time? What do I do when this harmless old man looks at me and says, "Welcome"?

I am tempted - so very tempted - to simply strike him down. But something stays my hand. And so, I say, "Bellos." And he looks at me, cocks his head, and says, "Who?"

I scoff. The children look at me, concerned. They look back at the old man. But they think nothing of it. I am disheveled, weakening in my age. And he looks nothing like the statues.

"Don't kid me. I know who you are."

Nennos turns fully, setting down his brush, and says, "I'm not sure what you mean. Surely you must be mistaken? I'm certainly not the Emperor. Couldn't be!"

"You fell from your castle, and used a spell to change your appearance. Magister Akulesta identified a stranger fitting your appearance as possessing immense magical power, but revised the report two days later to state that this was a false alarm. An alarm repeated by two other magisters, both of whom assumed you to likely be a member of the Emperor's inner circle in disguise, given your level of power. They also revised their reports to false alarms.

"Those in the court believed you to likely be Archon Nimiter, hunting for the Emperor. But I happen to be aware that Nimiter was posing as Queen Cassidia IV of Maredan at the time, until her daughter was of age to inherit the kingdom. At the timeframe of your travel north through Kandemark, Archon Barley was preventing the succession crisis from destroying the Empire, of which he succeeded, and Archon Silverthorn was suppressing revolts in Laene. I suspected that you were Archon Kaul, but five years ago word reached the Continent that he had been captured and imprisoned in Cathay. None of the other Archons had the level of power mentioned in the suppressed reports. It would have to be you."

Nennos looks blankly. No - not blankly. It's calculated. The appearance of a blank look. But his eyes aren't quite blank enough. I can see a mind working back there.

I notice, too late, that he's watching my eyes.

A shadow falls upon the square. The children gaze blankly, then walk away, their trains of thought lost, returned to a carefree nothing. They skip away, and slow, and stop, some mid-stride. The whole air has turned dark, clammy, still and sludgy. Fires have ceased motion. Leaves hold in the air, wind silenced.

The Adamantine Emperor of the Hundred Kingdoms of Mediterra looks at me, all pretenses dropped. His eyes are cold. Very cold.

"...Why are you here?"

"Revenge."

He chuckles. It sounds sincere. It shouldn't sound sincere.

"Understandable. I'm sure I've wronged all too many people over the years."

"You killed my family!"

"Oh, did I? I've forgotten. I've killed a lot of people, you know. I was rather violent in my youth. Somewhat like you, I suspect. Only you never grew out of it."

"You're calling me violent? The blood of millions is on your hands!"

"The law judges men, but history judges kings. For it is the place of the common to work for the present, and kings to work for the future. I killed many, yes - perhaps too many. But the Empire I have forged has saved the lives of many more. Famines occurred thrice a decade before I reigned. Now, there has been one, in forty years, in an Empire I no longer rule. And consider all the petty wars that are not fought. It is impossible to know how many would have died had I not taken the throne, or whether the great war would have been bloodier, or less bloody, had I not seen fit to act. But I did act. Thus, the Empire."

I set my hand on my blade, that I have cultivated for thirty years. "And when the people came to strike you down, you fled your judgement."

"You can hardly call that band of ruffians 'the people'. Did you not see how they mourned me? They would not have deified me after my fall, if they had hated me, like you do. And besides - what good would judgement do?"

Bellos gestured to the frozen town. "Here, I am harming nobody. I have not used magic in thirty years - until now, thanks to you. I have not taken up arms, even against burglars. The people here trust me. I watch their children, and teach them.

"When I am not painting, I mix medicines, and take care of the ill. The plague twenty years hence slew only one man here, and I mourned him as much as everyone else did. All others survived, because I remembered an old potion my teacher taught me how to brew. And I sent word to my local magistrate that physicians should be taught to use it, and the magistrate sent it to the local prefecture, and the prefecture wrote it into law. And so we survived the next plague.

"What would be gained by punishing me for the crime of forging such an empire? What would be gained by striking me down, when I do not intend to hurt a soul?"

"Do you expect me to believe that? Believe that you wouldn't hurt anyone ever again? Believe the word of an immortal? You have a thousand years to change your mind, and then we're back to where we started. Better to strike you down now, and end this."

"What is the point?" He looked pained. "Killing me won't bring anyone back. I've tried resurrections before, and it's strictly two or more sacrificed trying to bring back the dead, killing one man wouldn't be enough. Do you want to set an example? To who? There is nobody on this earth who holds the power I held. Certainly there is nobody who would believe you for a righteous avenger and not a maddened, traumatised, murderous vagrant. And even if you could somehow make this truth appear to the world, nobody who walked my path would be deterred. I know this because I walked the path, and I know all too well how much such a conqueror can dismiss all doubts, ignore all risks and the inevitability of the fall. It was only twenty years after I fled my post that I realised how great the risk of my own death would be, had I retained the crown. I left because I was bored! No precedent would have kept me from the throne, and only unshakable dissatisfaction or a stronger foe could remove me.

"Besides, what would be the trade, to an aspirant? A century, two, of ruling like a god? The final days wouldn't be pleasant, but such a man would have already well outlived the time allotted him. They would find it a fair trade.

"So, you see, there is no real reason for you to strike me down, here. You would not reduce the risk of a tyrant like myself from rising again. I will teach no students the arts I learned. And if I were to die - how would that help? I would bind myself to an oath, if asked. In fact, I left a rather comprehensive one in the Book of Contemplation, and thirty years of discussion will have dealt with the holes. Any that remain can be patched, there's a clause for it. So demand I take the oath of my own design. It would keep me from harming others, from seeking power, from working for my own gain, from seeking to outwit the oath, from causing destruction, directly or indirectly, for any reason, with any justification, save the prevention of greater destruction, and even then only if no alternatives appear. And if my knowledge was needed, it could be used for whatever great goods are conceived.

"But, of course, that's not why you're here. You don't want to make this world better. You just want to satisfy yourself, to quell the urge of revenge, an old, fleshy thing, to keep the law in a lawless earth before kings proclaimed their kingdoms. You just want me to die."

"Yes."

I strike.

The most ancient blade of the House of Kandemark, wielded by hero after hero in service to the realm, until it ended in the hands of Archon Silverthorn and then myself, dissolves into ash. The hilt flies from my hands and lands, with the softest of noise, into the palm of Bellos. The dust of its blade collects there, and forms again, the sword renewed to its highest glory in an instant. He contemplates it, almost with contempt. Then he speaks, quietly, and I see the runes bind it, its edge shimmering.

"...I expected more of you," he says. "Please, give this blade back to Peregrine. It belongs to him, as the heir to Kandemark - you'll find the records, if you look. It does not need to kill. It is significant enough without that."

I howl in wordless rage. But it is nothing. The great viridian fire of my magic is gone. I cannot draw it forth. I remember how the power filled me, lent me a totality. But there is nothing now. It is there, but I cannot reach it.

"So presumptuous. You heroes always are. If you see me as deserving of death, merely for having the risk of rising to conquer the earth, then there is nothing you can do, for only those with a greater risk of doing so would be able to defeat me. So unless you wish to follow my path, and seek the throne of the earth, I suggest you walk to the city, and become a potter. I have much respect for potters. They do more good than a warrior can."

When you were a child, a mercenary made you watch as he killed your entire family in front of you. You swore revenge. Decades later, you've finally tracked them down- …only to find they're now a pacifistic geriatric who's beloved by his community.

[silevan]

Silevan Ask Prompts

Questions from here. I'll edit this post as I go along and do more!

001. When is their birthday? While I have no set birthday for him, I've always envisioned him to be an Aries- perhaps an April baby.

002. Do they do anything to celebrate their birthday? Probably not anything announced. He might do something nice for himself but he wouldn't host a party or anything- maybe just go out for a walk and watch nature with some wine. He probably wanted nice big parties as a kid but could never get them, and then tried as a teen but was awkward. He let it go in adulthood, apart from maybe one or two times, if it was hosted by somebody else. (Perhaps for the round 30 or 40, if someone sniffed out his birthday, they might organise something?)

003. Does your character like coffee better, or tea? He would like grain coffee the most.

004. Do they prefer being alone or with others? With others for sure. He supplements loneliness with the company of anyone, even strangers. He prefers a stable person/people if he can have them, but that is lacking in his life.

005. Are they in good health? Pretty good.

006. What sense do they most rely on? Vision and sound. He can be quite perceptive to the nuances in his surroundings. He is constantly observing and notices a lot.

007. Is your character an optimist or a pessimist? He will claim to be an optimist, and truly believes himself to be, but I don't think he really is. At least not to the extent he claims to be.

008. What is their favorite fairy tale? Whatever his sister liked the most, the story she would beg him to tell her as a bedtime story. I think that would be the Ugly Duckling. I think she always dreamed of blossoming into something beautiful.

009. Do they believe in happy endings? Unsure.

010. Do they believe in love at first sight? When hes younger: I think he wants to. He loves the idea of romance, and yearns for someone to give him those rose-coloured lenses that would make the world sweeter. I think he might even almost roleplay this kind of love at first sight situation. He may play up crushes and say its love, and maybe he even can convince himself that that is indeed what it is. Current age: I think he would still like to believe it exists as a concept for some people, but I don't think he would believe it exists for him. He becomes transparent with him "not doing love". He is fine to have a fun nice time and have it be casual, and he's very much so a romantic, but he will not use the l word. After all, love means that you're fully known and seen and comfortable, and nobody can truly know and see him. I don't know if he will ever feel that in his entire life. I think he may taste tidbits of it, but he will never know it fully. I think this would be his fate.

011. How would your character court the person of their dreams? I don't think there exists such a person. The closest people that come to that descriptors would be people who see him for more than what the average person would; a hot and easy bartender. While with the average person he would be smooth and confident and flirty, he may get shy or timid around the people who see him that little bit more, because suddenly he doesn't know how to approach a situation as suddenly the person isn't head over heels for him. I think around a true "dream person" he would feel comfortable, and be himself at his truest form. There wouldn't be much courting involved per se apart from filling in his love languages, but those would happen naturally. This is how he gives love; small gifts here, care there, affection there. Showing thought. And he does give love, he gives it plenty. He just doesn't ever reach feeling it. He may feel something akin to it in moments, the tidbits of it, moments of comfort and connection, but he never reaches feeling full true love.

012. What makes your character embarrassed? As a youngster, he would feel embarrassed often, mostly at his shortcomings and failings. If he felt he did not achieve what he could have had, he would be very harsh on himself and retreat into his shell. In the current time, he has let go of a lot of those expectations and feels embarrassment rarely. Usually, if an embarrassing situation occurs, he would much faster laugh about it than feel shame.

013. Have they ever been bullied or teased? As a youngster, probably. Nothing physical or outright violent, but he definitely would get teased.

014. Detail one secret shame your character feels. Ask him this question and he would humm and haww trying to think of one for ages. His biggest shame, however, is "choosing to leave/abandon" his sister.

015. Are they most likely to fight with their fists or their tongue? In almost all situations, tongue. The only time he would get physical in a regular circumstance is to kick someone dangerous out of the tavern who is refusing to cooperate. The other instance where he would fight, is if the other person would not be making it out of the situation.

016. What is their choice of weapon? In the bar, it would only be himself. He wouldn't pick up anything other than his fists. In the other circumstance, something small and easy to hide. At first, when he's rusty, something he can easily stab and scratch with. A screwdriver, nails, a pocketknife, sharp scrap metal. Afterwards, it's mostly a small portable knife/scalpel. He probably has a favourite one once he has more experience.

017. When does your character think that violence is justified or deserved? He believes it is deserved if it is revenge: an eye for an eye. Or many eyes for an eye, if that eye was particularly beautiful. He calls it "prevention" and that's how he actually justifies it. But it's just revenge.

018. Your character wakes up to find that war has been declared. What do they do? He wouldn't quite know how to process it if it was coming close. Although I think he would insist that he is staying where he's at. He would continue running the tavern as if nothing was happening, apart from being clearly angry. But he would insist on staying open and continuing his life as usual.

019. If they could have a superpower, what would they choose? He would change the past/time travel. He would make it so that his sister never died. However if someone in the bar asked him the question, he would reply something else. Maybe telepathy.

020. What are their hobbies? He got into fly tying for Naoh'a, but thats moreso of a small thing. He likes to read a lot on evolution and biology, especially studying fossils. He may dabble in doing little woodcarvings too.

021. How do they display affection? He likes physical contact a lot as a base state of affection. He would really like acts of service as a love language too, and he may often give little gifts (eg. Fishing bait that's been dissected, fly tying, wood carvings, free beers, etc).

022. What is the most beautiful thing they’ve ever seen? A majestic catch, splat right on his bar counter top. The scales catching in the light like a dark liqueur, the eyes glassy and gold. A gentle spray of mucous coating the wood. He will never forget that.

023. What do they consider beautiful in others physically? He's quite a romantic, so really anything. He likes the aesthetic value of bodies a lot, so he likes all the little details.

024. What do they consider ugly in others physically? There isn't really anything he would find ugly, other than if you're a shitty person. Attraction to him is largely based on if you're a nice person.

025. What do they consider beautiful in others personality-wise? Respect. Also lack of respect, in particular circumstances.

026. What do they consider ugly in others personality-wise? Just being a bad person. But also being too shy/insecure can make him less attracted to someone. He's very confident and flirty, and even if someone wants to get with him, if they're gonna be too hesitant in responding he's not gonna push it too far on his own. You need to meet him halfway. He of course understands that some people want it and just are shy and need coaxing, and that's fine, but he draws a line when it's too much. If the other individual does not show a certain level of enthusiasm outwardly, even if they have it inside, he thinks they need to sort that with themselves out before he would want to continue. That's less of considering someone *ugly* though and moreso to do with losing attraction in someone. This can lead to a few people being disappointed, even some rude people talking about how "he was supposed to do xyz", but man requires a certain level of confidence or it's not his problem.

027. What is their idea of perfect happiness? Being loved, and having it be shown with every fibre of someone's being. He only felt that once, and hasn't felt it since.

028. What makes them laugh out loud? A lot of things. He's very easy to humour, especially currently. It would be harder to make him laugh as a youngster, but some people were really good at it.

029. What sort of sense of humor does your character have? He will mostly laugh at anything that doesn't go against his world views or morals. I don't see him as being too much into potty humour though, but he would love innuendos.

030. Do they believe in the afterlife? He wants to, but I don't think he does. I think he does pray though. He doesn't trust that the message will be received, but he sends it anyways. Just in case.

031. Are they superstitious about anything? Maybe lightly, but moreso for fun. I'd say as much as the average person would say "knock on wood" for something.

032. Does your character believe in ghosts? No.

033. Do they keep their promises? Yes. He's quite diligent about this.

034. What’s their view of lying? He doesn't like liars, and he tries not to lie, unless he feels there is no other way.

035. What is the most important rule your character lives by? Be present.

036. How honorable is your character? The most honourable thing he has done is build a nice life for himself, and go from a poor little tavern boy to the runner of the keep. His honour is mostly about how he built up his life. He's not community-changing.

037. If your character saw someone drop a large sum of money and knew that they could probably take it without anyone noticing, what would they do? Probably would call to the person to give it back; not because he has any kind of strong moral code or whatever, but because he has enough money for himself, and he wants to be in the good eye of the public.

038. What bad habits do they have? Apart from the murder, he stays up too late before bed.

039. What do they think is the worst thing that can be done to a person? Hurt someone who hasn't ever done harm.

040. What is their obsession? He has a kind of obsession in finding solace after his sister's passing and tries to achieve it in many different ways as he grows; turning to self harm, to intoxication, to distraction, and finally, to revenge.

041. Are they comfortable with technology? Technology isn't really a huge element of their world, at least not in the same way it would be to us. He can use a typewriter no problem, I suppose.

042. What is their greatest achievement? I'd like to think that eventually he ends up finding and processing some of the best specimens of particular fossils.

043. What will they stand up for? If a place is a safe space, he will ensure that it will continue to be a safe space. Anything that challenges the safety someone built or was promised in a space, is going to be dealt with. This is generally his tavern in the current day. His sister is a huge driver and motivation for this, as he wished nothing more than to provide such a space for her. An interesting analysis would be what kind of person he would be if she was still alive? Because, of course, he *did* have other wishes and it is why he went away to study. In the case she survived, I think he would stand up for the achievements he's accomplished, and would put emphasis on not letting anyone walk over him or take advantage of him. I don't think he would care about this in his actual story though; he would not care, shrug it off.

044. What disgusts them? The army and guards that attacked his village. Also, as a youngster, despite his interest in biology, I think blood, mucouses, membranes, in-depth anatomy stuff would squick him out. While currently he is desensitized to it, he may still find some parts of bodies gross, such as spit, or fatty tissue on meat/in dissections.

045. Does your character have any chronic medical conditions? Definitely not while young/current day. Maybe when he's old, but it's moreso just the kind of conditions that come with a regular aging deal. Old Silly for sure has arthritis.

046. How do they handle getting sick? Garlic, ginger, hot lemon water, blanket up and sweat it out. Mom's tricks work, he insists. And somehow it does.

047. What was the last medical problem your character had? Most of his medical problems would be mental health related. He for sure struggled with the ol 'pression.

048. Do they have any allergies? Not really.

049. How does your character feel about growing old? At first he thinks he's at peace with it, but when it draws near, it makes him sadder. He realizes he still has things he wants to do. He thought he would be happy living his life out without them, but as he gets older, he struggles with it. It's a driver for him to go back and continue in academia when he's old. He did not plan to survive after his sister's passing, so when he was able to (mostly) heal and build a life for himself in the tavern, he accepted it with gratitude and did not consider any need to change it. He built something from scratch and he's happy, so he doesn't need to chase anything else, even if it wasn't what he planned. It'll *never* be like he planned anyways, because he planned her to be by his side for a lot of things. Age was the wake-up call of facing his past dreams and deciding that he wants to fulfill them after all, even if it won't be the same without her; the most difficult thing he has to face was that, in doing so, it is not a betrayal to her.

050. How does your character feel about their own mortality? Kind of like above. In a way he has accepted it, but it also scares him. He's mostly content. For the current time, he is not afraid of his mortality; he thought death would greet him earlier, so he lives every moment with gratitude, happiness, and content, "as if it could end tomorrow", while he still feels immortal and young. It is only when the signs of his body degrading come in more and more that he feels unsettled by it. Suddenly he feels 17 again; itching to do so much, and feeling like time is running out.

051. If they knew they would die tomorrow, what would they do today? Look for intimacy. Preferably with someone he is comfortable and happy with such as Naoh'a; if that person isn't available, a frequent patron is also fine; worse comes to worst, a stranger.

052. What is your character’s worst flaw? He feels too content and invincible. He feels like he *has* no flaws, and that in of itself is a flaw, as he has *many*- I mean bro is a bit of a serial killor. He is not coping well. His lack of drive to achieve his dreams too. He settles too much, mostly because it hurts too much to try *not* to. Settling is how he survived. But it's not good for him, not *really*, not if he wants to heal. It'll get him through the worst time in his life, but it's not a fix. It should not be seen as something he should do permanently. He gets a bit better with it as an old man, but for most of his life, this is his greatest flaw.

053. What is your character’s greatest strength? I think settling and contentedness is a double edged sword, in that it is his greatest flaw, but can also be viewed as his greatest strength, depending on the situation and the perspective. He has an incredible skill of bouncing back. Even if he can't fulfill his true potential with it, this trait can pull him out of the deepest pit.

054. Does your character want power or authority of any kind? He would say no. But I think the murders are him attempting to have power in the sister situation. He wouldn't admit this, not even to himself. To him, it is purely prevention, weeding out the bad for the benefit of the good, to not let anything like that happen again. It's nothing to do with him, it's just a service to the world. That's how he stays sane in it and how he rationalizes it. But it's really to feel like he has some sort of power in the thing that has traumatized him the most, made him feel the most helpless, where he indeed *was* the most helpless.

055. Is your character an introvert or an extrovert? As a youngster, for sure an introvert. Now, for sure an extrovert. As an old man, he is still extroverted, but not to the same extent; he would return to some introverted qualities still, and appreciate solitude more again.

056. Has your character ever struck someone in anger? Big time. It's how the murders began really. Anger.

057. Has your character ever killed anyone? Yopp!

058. What is your character’s idea of a perfect day? Looking for, finding, and identifying rare or endangered species of mudfish with Naoh'a.

059. List several phrases your character is fond of uttering. Where did they pick them up? He would probably pick some up from Naoh'a, and I imagine he uses one or two from his parents.

060. What is your character’s attitude toward education and learning? I've already discussed this a bit. He dreamed of it lots when he was a child, pretty much always had his head in a book or analyzing the world. He dreamed of becoming an academic, but struggled in deciding if he should leave for studies or stay at home, not fulfill himself, but stay with his sister. His parents would neglect them and he knew that her life would get much worse if he was to leave. He decided to teach her as many life skills as he could before he left, and eventually rationed that it is not his responsibility to raise her and he did the best he could for her; he has to live his own life. It was when he moved away and began college that their village was attacked and she was killed. After that, he dropped out of college, and never went back again until he was well in his 60s. During that time, at first he wouldn't touch his academic life at first, but eventually got more comfortable reading textbooks by firelight. When he was settled into the pub life, he became more comfortable with doing research again and reading and learning. He just never made it official, not until late in his life.

061. Does your character prefer adventure or safety and security? A healthy mix of both, but moreso leaning towards safety and security.

062. What sort of legacy does your character wish to leave behind? As a youngster, he wants to be a great academic that changes the world. In the current time, he doesn't care about leaving any kind of legacy; just have fun and be kind while it lasts. In his old age, he takes pride in his academic achievements, and wants to contribute to the field in a nice way.

063. How well does your character handle difficult people? 064. In what ways does your character annoy others? 065. Is your character better at leading or following? Which do they prefer? 066. Does your character prefer city life or being out in nature? 067. Does your character believe in fate or destiny? 068. How strong is your character’s sense of responsibility? What kinds of things trigger it? 069. What about your character is heroic? 070. What about your character is cowardly? 071. How kind is your character? 072. In a Dungeons & Dragons game, which class would your character be? (wizard, fighter, bard, priest, ranger, etc.) 073. In a novel, what plot role would your character fill? (hero, anti-hero, sidekick, villain, etc.) 074. What is your character’s favorite game? 075. Is your character ticklish? 076. How do they express anger? 077. How often do they cry? Over what? 078. How emotionally stable is your character? 079. How easy is it for them to read the emotions of others? 080. How easy is it for others to read your character’s emotions?

081. Is your character religious? 082. What are your character’s sleeping preferences? 083. What is the first thing they say and/or do when they wake up? 084. Describe your character in one word. 085. Describe your character in three words. 086. How would your character describe themself in one word? 087. How would your character describe themself in three words? 088. Is your character quiet or loud? 089. How vocally expressive is your character? 090. How bodily expressive is your character? 091. What type of music does your character like? 092. What emotion does your character evoke in others? 093. What is your character’s goal in life? 094. Name three things most would not expect your character to be able to know. 095. Name three things most would not expect your character to be able to do. 096. How do they move and carry themselves? What energy do they project?

097. How well do they adapt to change?

098. Does your character like animals? 099. Do they talk to inanimate objects? 100. Does your character dream? If so, what do they dream about?