#THERE'S SO MANY CHOICES AND IT KINDA OF FITS
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Last Chance
“Come over?”
You knew what the message meant, what she was asking for. What else could she mean, sending you that text at near midnight on a Friday night?
The night air is crisp as you leave your friend’s apartment, where his yearly Inbetween-Christmas-and-New-Years party was raging. It seemed to only get colder as you stood on the sidewalk waiting for your ride, and the Uber driver’s seeming reluctance to crank up the heat in his car meant that the ride across town to her apartment was almost equally as chilly.
Her building was a lot warmer, thankfully, and when she opens the door and greets you with a smile she gives you all the warmth you need.
“Come in,” Chou Tzuyu says with a small wave of her hand and nod of her head. “Drink?”
“I’ve had plenty at the party,” you admit, “but wouldn’t say no to water.”
“Good choice,” she says with a sly smile, cracking open her fridge to pull out a jug. “Gotta stay hydrated.”
You watch as she pours you a glass, her back turned to you as you enter her small but nicely furnished kitchen. She’s wearing a short, tight t-shirt and what were probably the tiniest pair of green cotton shorts known to man. The fit left much of her midsection and all of her long, shapely legs bare, highlighting the wideness of her hips and the fullness of her thighs. You hadn’t thought it possible, but she almost looked as attractive with the flimsy scraps of cotton on her as she did without them.
She hands you your glass of water, tapping it with her own as you both take sips and step into her living room.
“Had a real shitty week,” she says, unprompted, as though she somehow felt the need to justify calling you over on a Friday night, felt the need to justify what the both of you were about to do. “Kind of need to blow off some steam.”
“Fair enough. Work again?”
“Yeah,” she says with a sigh under her breath, leaning against the arm of her couch, where you join her. “Big project due next week that’s kept me at the office most nights. And…”
“And?”
“There’s this guy.”
You sigh, inwardly, hiding your reaction behind another sip of water. You feel a sting somewhere in the depths of your heart, one you do your best to keep hidden behind the barrier of nonchalance that you’d worked hard to maintain with her.
“Oh?” you manage.
“Co-worker,” she says, softly, after another sip. “Yeah, yeah, I know, ‘don’t date co-workers.’ But I’m pretty sure he’s into me, y’know? And I’ve been into him since, well, forever ago. But I’m so frustrated, because he won’t make a fucking move, no matter how many signals I send his way.”
“...and you’re into him?” you ask, even as the words hurt to say.
She fumbles a bit with the glass in her hand, staring down at it as though she were looking for the answer to your question in the transparent liquid that it contained.
“Well, yeah,” she admits. “I know I should really keep it professional, considering how long we’ve been working together and how much I rely on him at work, but… I dunno. I dunno what to make of it, that’s all. I just wish he’d call me or something, get it over with, one way or another. Was kind of hoping he’d ask me out over the holidays, but nothing.”
“Ah,” you admit. “Maybe he’s just not into girls that aren’t hot enough to be invited to Inbetween-Christmas-And-New-Year’s parties,” you tease. “I wouldn’t be either, to be honest.”
Tzuyu smirks and gives you a playful swat on the arm, the smirk turning into a warm smile. “Thanks for coming over,” she says, softly. “I need this.”
“I mean, I had to leave an above average Inbetween-Christmas-and-New-Year’s party because my moderately attractive friend across town needs my dick in her so she can get over some guy at work, but sure, I guess I kinda need it too.”
Tzuyu giggles - a soft, musical sound you never tired of hearing.
She locks eyes with you for a moment, and in that split second you feel disarmed, as though she sees right through you, right through the humor and sarcasm and other defenses you’d put up to keep her from seeing the real you. You worry, for a moment, that she sees right through your sarcastic, aloof facade you forced yourself to wear lest she see how you really felt about her.
The moment is fleeting, though, and after she takes your glass of water and places it on the coffee table next to hers, the look you find in her eyes is altogether different. There’s hunger there now, and need.
She pulls you to your feet, wraps her arms around your neck, and your heart stops beating for a moment when your lips touch.
Gentle, soft at first, as it always was, because despite being friends with benefits for a year or so and friends for much longer you both never quite got over that initial awkwardness, those odd, clumsy moments when you both knew what you wanted but weren’t quite sure how to go about initiating the process to get it.
You liked to think it was because you were both hopeless romantics at heart, and something within you both thought that sex without the feelings was beneath you, was something only indulged in by desperate single people who couldn’t get into a relationship to save their lives. Perhaps it was because neither of you wanted to be the one to admit, at least on the outside, that this was just for pleasure, that you were using a friend for an orgasm or two and that was it, end of story, we now return you to your regularly scheduled programming.
But the feeling quickly fades amidst the feel of another body pressed to yours, and soon the kiss becomes heated. Tongues dance, mouths open, your lips crush against each other. Your hands roam - yours around that tiny waist of hers, hers around your neck, fingers furrowing into the hair at the back of your neck. You pull her against you and her body molds to yours, warm and soft and pliant.
You break the kiss, eager to have more of her, your heart pounding now, so loud you fear she might hear it pounding out of your chest. She gasps as you dive into her neck, her hands weaving further into your hair, nails digging into your scalp. She tilts her head to the side, gives more of herself to you.
“Fuck,” she hisses, between gritted teeth. “Fuck. Need this.”
You devour her neck, finding and fixating on those sensitive spots where you knew she loved to be kissed. Your hands slide up her back and cup her ass and you’re thankful again that she decided to wear such a flimsy outfit that did little to hide the wonders of her body.
She pulls away for a moment to pull her shirt up and over her head and she’s topless now, her hands working on your own clothes and divesting you of your button-up and t-shirt you wore beneath it. You come together again and the thrill of her soft, warm breasts pressing against your chest takes the breath away from your mouth for a moment, even as she covers your newly breathless lips with a kiss. The stiff peaks of her nipples press against you, tight and needy, sending a shiver up your spine.
You reach down, pick her up with your hands beneath her ass - and she giggles again as you carry her toward her bedroom. Her legs wrap themselves around your waist, her arms around your neck, but she weighs nothing against the need for her that gives you all the strength you need. She’s smiling and laughing and she’s everything you could ever want, right there in your arms.
She’s yours, and she’s not.
You drop her onto her bed, where her landing gives those small, perfect breasts of hers a delightful looking bounce. Your eyes find hers and for a moment, a split second, you’re afraid again - that she can see right through you, find the way you really feel about her beyond the hunger and lust and need.
Because Chou Tzuyu is perfect - when she’s topless on her bed, lips slightly parted, eyes hooded, yes - but she was also perfect when you met her in your senior-level psychology lecture, perfect when you helped her move into this very apartment, perfect when you went out for dinner after she landed her first big job in her field; the very same one where she’d meet the guy she was apparently so very into, the same guy you most decidedly were not, the same guy you were apparently a substitute for on a lonely Friday night.
You need her - that perfect, tight body, the wide hips and full thighs, the round, perky breasts and the beautiful smile - but in ways beyond the physical. You need her beyond lonely weeknights and 2am weekend hookups. You need her for Sunday mornings at the grocery store where you both plan your lunches for the week, you need her for vacations in Fukuoka and Amsterdam and Vancouver. You need her for random, candid photos on your phone during a coffee date where she believes, ridiculously, that she were anything less than perfect in your eyes.
But she’s not yours - at least, not in the way you would like. She’s half-naked on her bed and you’re between her spread thighs and she’s looking at you like she wants to devour you whole and somehow, someway, that’s not enough. It would never be enough. But it’s all you have. It’s all she can give you.
You bend to kiss her, and being past that clumsy, awkward initial phase, the kiss is heated, passionate. It’s also a short one, because the rest of her body beckoned, and you didn’t possess the patience or self-control to deny yourself what was yours to take. You indulge in the delights of Chou Tzuyu’s body because it’s a distraction from the feelings that you fear might take over if you indulge them, if you let yourself dream about what your life would be like if she weren’t just a friend, weren’t just a Friday night fuck.
You kiss a path down her neck, to her sharp, prominent collarbones, each soft peck eliciting a little gasp or hiss from her lips. When you reach her breasts she’s practically begging, back arched off the mattress, desperate to have your mouth on her. She loved having your hands on her small mounds, your lips locked over her nipples, licking and sucking. Smaller boobs are more sensitive, she’d said once, only half-jokingly, and you never forgot it.
You give her what she wants - what you both want. Your mouth latches on to one breast, lips closing over her tight nipple and sucking, licking, lightly biting.
Tzuyu moans - a long, languid sound of pleasure, her loudest of the night. You never tired of hearing the pleasure leaving her lips in long, wordless drawls. It was like music. It was a song that only she knew the lyrics to, that she performed only for you, and you never tired of hearing it play.
Your mouth and hand swap, your lips latching tightly to her other nipple while you squeeze the other one with an open palm, relishing the feel of the soft flesh beneath your fingers.
You spend a little longer on her right breast, because you knew it was somehow more sensitive than the other one - just another of those small things you knew about her body that no one else did. Another fact about Chou Tzuyu that belonged just to you, that you held tight against your chest and treasured greedily. You loved knowing that you knew things about her body no one else did.
You loved knowing that you were the only one who knew these dirty, filthy little things about her, and that you were the only man on earth she trusted with them. The thought of sharing that knowledge with another man - or even worse, of losing access to it altogether, having it taken away from you by some random asshole who didn’t know these things, hadn’t worked to learn them - made you feel something dark and upsetting, something between fear and anger.
Tzuyu is a moaning and sighing mess now, her legs wrapped around your lower back, her own back arching up and off the mattress in an attempt to offer more of her body to you. Her nails dig little spikes of pain into your scalp with each suckle you draw from her nipple. Her thighs part even further and you feel the warmth between them pressing against your belly, even through the green shorts riding up her hips. She moans and writhes beneath you and if you’d spent the rest of the night with her breasts in your mouth and under your palms you would’ve been satisfied with that alone.
But she has other ideas - wants more, craves more. The fingers she’s woven into your hair push you downward. You release her stiffened nipple from between your lips with a pop, gazing up momentarily to find her looking back at you, cheeks flushed, eyes half-lidded, a sigh on her lips. Their corners perk up in a barely noticeable, shy little smile.
Her tongue darts out, moistens her full pink lips, and you catch the unspoken request.
You bend your head again, returning your lips to her skin, starting a trail down her flat stomach, taking care to press a soft kiss on that cute belly button of hers. You open your eyes to watch her abs flex with every movement, delighting in the sight and feel of the tight muscle beneath the perfect, creamy skin. Hers was a body she’d spent many long hours in the gym and pilates studio for, and you were more than happy to make sure she knew how worth it it all was.
You reach her shorts, eventually - the flimsy strip of soft green cotton that was just barely enough to provide her with some measure of modesty. You take a moment to admire the way they sat on her hips, the way her full, flushed thighs look spread beneath them. She squirms under your gaze, her hips searching for friction, begging you to get them off her.
Your patience outlasts hers, because she’s the one to reach for the buttons keeping the shorts closed. You consider stopping her and undoing the buttons yourself, but there is a part of you that needs to see her undress herself for you, needs to watch her reveal her most intimate parts to you and you alone.
Thin, dainty fingers make quick work of the button, and she raises her hips, hooking her thumbs into the waistband and pulling them off her hips. You make way as she pulls the shorts off the long, endless length of her legs. She tosses them aside, over the side of the bed, where for all intents and purposes they cease to exist.
Her thighs remain tight together for a moment, only a few moments - and in those seconds her eyes are locked on yours, capturing and holding every ounce of your attention. Her thighs part, her legs spread and allow you back between them, but your eyes hold her gaze regardless. Her eyes tell you she wants you to relish the way she looks, naked and vulnerable, her body spread and laid out for you to take, to make yours for the rest of the night.
“Fuck, Tzuyu,” you mumble, unable to really say anything more than her name.
She smirks, those wonderful lips of hers curling into a smile. Without further word she grasps your skull with her palms and gently pushes you down towards her waiting pussy.
Her cunt is beautiful, like the rest of her - flushed and pink and glistening in the soft light of her bedroom, the insides of her thighs already moist with her juices. You bend down and give her a long, slow lick from the base of her opening to the top. The taste of her floods your palette just as the sound of the gasp that leaves her lungs fills your ears - a sound that is quickly muffled by the closing of her warm, moist thighs around your cheeks and face.
You do it again, give her another lick from bottom to top, then a third. You swirl her juices around on your tongue, relishing the taste of her. She’s squirming now, writhing, waiting for you to really commit to pleasuring her, her back arching and her nails digging more incessantly into your scalp.
You take a glance up at her - a viewpoint that you were truly blessed to bear witness to - past the flat planes of her stomach, between her heaving breasts, and finally to her face, flushed and pink, lower lip tucked under teeth, eyes fixed on you. She does it again - communicates her need without words, telling you, begging you, to give her the pleasure she so desperately needed.
And so you do, bending and closing your lips around the tender bud of her clit, your tongue darting out softly, gently, avoiding the sensitive nub and instead licking around it, tracing soft, slow circles around it, just the way you knew she liked.
The wordless song that has been leaving her mouth all night hits a higher tone, another octave as you work her over with your tongue. Everything intensifies for Tzuyu - the pleasure coursing up her spine, the wetness between her legs, the volume of the moans leaving her mouth. Her head falls back, eyes shutting, mouth now permanently ajar.
It intensifies for you, too - the pinpricks of irritation her nails are digging into your scalp become painful nails, the wet warmth of her thighs closes ever more around your cheeks, and the slick wetness of her cunt increases, making your lips and chin slick. You continue to swirl your tongue around the tender flesh surrounding her clit, neither increasing nor decreasing in pace - simply maintaining your current one, knowing from experience what made her body work, what would give her the most pleasure.
Tzuyu becomes a mewling, quivering mess beneath your tongue. The moans and profanities leaving her lips continue unabated. She forces herself every now and then to open her eyes, glance down at the top of your head nestled between her spread legs, the mere sight of you there, in her most intimate area with your lips around her clit, enough to send yet another spike of pleasure up her spine and into her addled brain.
“God, fuck, that feels so good,” she manages to gasp, her brain barely able to form recognizable words out of the stream of sounds leaving her mouth. “Fuck, keep going.”
You knew where exactly where she was, what level of pleasure she was experiencing - knowledge that was the product of many a night doing exactly this, pleasuring her just the way you were now. You knew that she was right there, dangling on the precipice, and that she needed just that one last nudge, one last push.
You slip your right hand from where it was wrapped around her thigh, sliding it beneath her, bringing your fingertips to her drenched opening. She gasps as she feels your fingertips at her thus far neglected entrance, knowing what it means, knowing what is about to come. You can almost feel her pussy writhe and ripple around your fingers, now a knuckle deep, urging you, begging you deeper.
“Please,” she gasps, and you oblige. You slide your index and middle fingers inside her, palm up, and the effect on her body is immediate. Her moans cut out, her entire body goes rigid for a moment, as though shocked by lightning. The silence left by the cessation of her moans leaves only the sound of her body writhing on the bed to fill your ears, along with the wet slickness of your fingers moving inside her.
Throughout it all your tongue is swirling around her clit, merciless, unwavering in its pace and depth and pressure. Your fingers are ones pushing her, upping stakes, sliding slowly deeper inside her slickness, curling upward, searching, finding, then teasing.
It takes only a few seconds of your fingertips grazing that most sensitive part of her before Tzuyu orgasms, taking herself by surprise almost as it did you. Her world explodes, her body goes stiff, her eyes shut and for a few wonderful moments all she sees is stars.
You almost have to fight to hold her down with your free hand flat on her tense belly lest your mouth lose contact with her spasming cunt. You fight to keep your tongue and fingers moving, if at a slightly slower pace, letting her ride it out, letting her feel and relish every second of the pleasure coursing its way through every fibre of her being. She’s quiet through it all, mouth frozen in a silent scream, which was rare - she was usually one to announce and talk through her pleasure, but here she was, rendered unable to even moan.
“Fucking hell,” she spits, sometime later when she is able to form words again. Her body is suddenly boneless and sinking into the mattress, utterly drained. Her thighs finally loosen around your head, much to your chagrin, because you’d grown fond of the sticky warmth you’d found between them.
She pulls your face up toward her, and you delight in the tour you’re given of her breathless, sweaty body beneath you as you crawl up the bed until you’re face-to-face. When you reach her lips she captures yours in a tight, passionate kiss, her tongue finding yours and tasting herself on its surface.
“I need you now,” she hisses, eyes boring into yours. You need her too. You always have, truth be told, but perhaps not in the same ways that she needed you. You want to say something, lying here, inches from her face, her eyes needy and vulnerable. But the words never come. The moment passes.
Before you can react any further her hands slide from your head to your shoulders, where she gives you a gentle push onto your back on the bed. She rolls atop you, straddling your hips.
There’s a coy smile on her lips as she undoes the belt at your waist before undoing the button and fly of your jeans and pulling them down your hips. She lets out a soft giggle as you raise your hips and pull the clothes off your legs as though they were on fire. This is all a game to her, a release, a fun, if momentary, distraction. The realization of that stings a little, somewhere deep inside you, where she can’t see the hurt she’s caused to you.
When you’re finally as naked as she is, she straddles you again. Your eyes find hers, as they always did, drawn to them, magnetically, as though you could always find what you needed in them. The small moment of levity and amusement she gained from watching you desperately undress disappears, replaced again by need and desire.
Her tongue slips out between her lips when she gazes down and sees your cock, hard and aching. Her hand reaches out to grasp it and you feel the air rush out of your lungs at this first intimate contact. She brings your tip to her entrance, dragging the head up and down through her lips, lathering it with her slick juices.
You want to say something, want to tell her how utterly captivating she looks on your lap, your cock at her entrance; you want to tell her how much you wish you were about to fuck your girlfriend or your wife and not just a friend; you want to tell her how the very thought of another man being where you are, right now, upsets you more than you had any right to be.
The moment passes - again. You slide inside her, and suddenly words don’t exist any more.
The sight of Chou Tzuyu impaled hilt-deep on your cock is like nothing else you’ve ever experienced, like nothing else you ever will. She’s feminine perfection, right here, on you, wrapped around you.
Her head is tilted back, mouth open in a silent moan, eyes shut, brow furrowed, as though deep in concentration. Her breasts are perfect and round and her nipples taut. Her abs flex - defined, toned. And her thighs - perfect, full, flushed. She’s more than you can take. She’s more than you can keep.
It’s a feeling that is only intensified when she begins to move, begins to use those strong, firm thighs and hips of hers to move herself up and down your cock, slowly, with soft, measured movements. She lets herself get used to you, get used to that delicious stretch of you inside her. It’s painful, in a way, how slowly she’s moving - it takes more self-control than you’d care to admit not to just hold her hips down and piston into the wonderful slickness of her cunt.
But hurting her was the last thing you wanted. If only she’d known how much she was hurting you. You wonder if she would stop if she knew. You wonder if she would even care.
Eventually she ups her pace as her body molds itself around you. She’s beginning to sigh and gasp now, mostly on the downstroke as your cock slides inside her, spreading her apart and stretching her out, sending shocks of pleasure throughout both your bodies with each entry. Your hands are firm on her hips, resisting for now the temptation to reach up and play with her softly bouncing breasts, or pull her back down onto your cock with more force. You’re content, feeling her, watching her take her pleasure from you.
Watching her use you.
Tzuyu feels your eyes on her, roaming her body, drinking in the sight of her. One hand reaches up to her breasts, capturing one, teasing the taut nipple for a moment with long, dainty fingertips, giving you a show. Eventually she brings both her hands to her scalp, gathering her hair, pulling it above her head and holding it there. She’s a vision, then and there - her hands above her head, back arching, breasts bouncing wildly as she continues to ride you.
“Jesus, Tzuyu,” you spit, the profanities tumbling from your mouth before you even knew you were speaking them. “Fuck, you’re perfect.”
She lets her hair fall from the top of her head in a chocolate waterfall. Her hands cup her own breasts, fingertips playing with her aching nipples.
“You like me like this, baby?” she hisses, a question she knows the answer to. “You like me like this, bouncing on your cock, all tight and wet for you?”
“Fuck, yes, Tzuyu, fuck.”
Her lips curl into a wicked smile, before her lower lip curls under a perfect white tooth. She lets something deep and guttural escape her throat behind her bitten lip.
She bends over you, hands on either side of your head, hair framing a face twisted in pleasure.
She ups her pace, riding you fiercely now, hips slamming down onto yours at a pace that is almost violent. Your hands grasp her thighs, fingers clawing into the soft flesh, feeling the muscles beneath them work to throw their owner against you over and over and over.
“Fuck me,” she snaps, and you oblige.
You thrust upward to meet her, timing each movement of your hips to match with the downstroke of hers, and soon you are slamming your bodies against each other at a merciless pace.
Tzuyu shrieks - loud, sharp. She swears and spits and she’s becoming a loud, mewling mess atop you, but throughout it all she manages to keep riding you, keep bouncing that perfect body of hers atop your cock. Her cunt pulsates, squeezes you like a velvet glove. She’s so wet, leaking with so much arousal, that every slamming of your hips against each other is muffled by the wet stickiness that has coated much of your lower bodies.
“Oh god, oh god, I-” she begins, each word punctuated with a thrust of your cock into her cunt. “Oh fuck, I, so good-”
You watch her, watch that perfect face of hers twist in pleasure, watch as that perfect body of hers takes your cock. Your brow furrows and your hips burn with the effort but you feel none of the fatigue, none of the weariness of the physical effort. All that matters is her pleasure. All that matters is making sure she-
“Cumming-” she hisses, just barely before she does.
Her eyes shut, body stiffens, just as it did when she came on your mouth - and her cunt tightens wonderfully around your cock, pulsating, squeezing. You bury yourself inside her to the hilt, wanting to feel every second of her orgasming around you. You can feel the shocks of pleasure radiating from her, reaching her limbs, flooding her brain with sensation.
When she remembers to breathe she lets out a long, drawn out breath. Her arms, shaky, finally give way and she collapses atop you, head next to yours. For a few long seconds she does nothing but breathe heavily against you, the gasps and sighs that leave her mouth loud against your ear. Your hands roam her sweat-slick back, fingertips tracing a path down her spine and pulling a soft sigh from her tired lips.
“God,” she says into your ear. “Fuck, that was so good, baby.”
You loved and hated when she called you that. It was a pet name for lovers - and she only used it during sex. She only ever called you by your first name anywhere outside the bedroom. Another reminder of the boundaries. Of the limits.
“You feel amazing, Tzuyu,” you say, truthfully. Her cunt is still pulsating softly around your painfully stiff cock as the last waves of her orgasm leave her body. The warm slickness of her around you made a pleasant distraction from your emotions. Pleasant, but not easy.
You feel her lips curl into that sly smile of hers again against your cheek. She plants a few kisses under your ear, tracing a path along your jaw, until she finds your lips. Her hips begin to move again, side to side - not taking you in and out of her body, but just moving you around, swirling your stiffness inside her.
“Your turn, baby,” she whispers, half-lidded eyes locked on yours. “How do you want to cum in me?”
You’d had her in every position imaginable over the time you’ve been fuck buddies. But you always enjoyed one of them more than the others.
“Want you from behind-” you begin. “-Tzu.” you finish, resisting the temptation to call her ‘baby.’ Some small, bitter part of you felt she didn’t deserve to be called that, not if she was going to tease you, hurt you with its use, make a weapon out of it that she wielded carelessly, inconsiderately.
Thankfully, she doesn’t notice your momentary hesitation - maybe she was still recovering from the high of her orgasm, or maybe she was too focused on gyrating her hips around the stiffness still hilt-deep inside her.
“Alright, baby,” she says, again, the word stinging even if it was laced with the sweet honey of her voice. The smile on her lips is proof of how oblivious she is to the damage she wreaks with each wreckless use of it.
You didn’t blame her. How could you? How could you expect someone to know what you felt internally when you continually denied it externally?
You’d promised each other, when you first started this little arrangement, that you’d put an end to it if either of you found yourselves with anything even remotely resembling feelings for the other. But how could you end it, when you’re in her bed and you’re both naked and she’s wet and ready and on her hands and knees, looking over her shoulder at you, slick pink lips opening to say-
“Come take me, then.”
A stronger man would have ended this a long time ago. You were not that man, not today. You doubted there were many men in the world with that level of strength.
You bring yourself behind her, admiring the sight of her - perfect, as she always was, perfect in every sense of the world. She’s creamy skin and a tiny waist and those hips and thighs, my god, those hips and thighs. She’s there and wet and ready and wanting and who could say no?
You bring your tip to her opening, parting her lips with your head, swirling it, swiping it up and down her slick flesh, sending a shiver of pleasure into both of your bodies. She sighs and her back arches delightfully, the dip of her spine sharp and prominent in the low light of her bedroom. She mewls and sighs, her hips pushing back against you, needy, wanting.
“Fuck, baby, come on,” she sighs, she begs.
You loved her voice, soft and light, like silk spun into air - but you loved it most when it was begging, needy.
Her hips continue to push against you, the round cheeks of her ass pressing against you, trying to pull you inside her herself. “Please,” she continues, airy and breathless. “Put it in me. Don’t you want my pussy? Don’t you want me?”
You did. You wanted her, but in more ways than this. Chou Tzuyu is on her hands and knees in front of you and she’s dripping wet and begging and somehow it’s not enough.
One of her hands slides down her body, and her fingertips part the slick lips of her pussy. She’s glistening and pink and pure distilled need, right there, right here, ready for you to take.
And she doesn’t give a damn about your feelings, is blissfully oblivious to everything but the emptiness between her legs. All she wants is a fuck. That’s it. That’s all you are. You’re everything and nothing, all at once.
“Look how empty I am without you inside me, baby. Come fill me up.”
You slide inside her - how could you not, after hearing that? She’s so tight and hot and wet, and you forget, momentarily, everything other than the feel of her cunt wrapped around you.
You fuck her - hard, firm, your pace fuelled more than you would care to admit by a darkness inside you that you weren’t proud to admit to. Jealousy, of some man you’d never met, some man who made her feel like you never could? Anger, at her, for not seeing how you felt about her, how amazing you could be together?
Whatever it was, it was ugly and came from a dark place, and you didn’t want to acknowledge it. But you fuck Chou Tzuyu with it running through your veins - fast, hard. And she sighs and moans and thinks you’re just especially turned on today, want a harder fuck than usual. She doesn’t know any better. Doesn’t know that you’re using her body the way you are, as an outlet for your frustration and anger as much as an outlet for your pleasure.
You reach forward, running your fingers through her hair with a surprising gentleness, even as your cock hammers in and out of her body, rocking it, pounding her.
Then your fingers close, pull. She yelps, gasps.
Her spine arcs sharply backward as you pull backward on her hair. You use her hair like a leash, pulling back as you thrust forward. Tzuyu can do nothing but take it, her body given to you fully. The spasming and quivering of her cunt around you is evidence of her acceptance, her submission.
Your hips slap wetly against her ass with each hard thrust you make into her tight, slick pussy. The bedroom fills with it - flesh hitting flesh, wordless sighs and moans that turn into begging, profanity, name calling - the lewd soundtrack of sex.
“Fuck, fuck,” Tzuyu manages, “You’re so fucking deep, fuck, more, fuck me more-”
You shut her up. The hand pulling her hair wraps around her scalp, pushes her face down onto the bed. You pin her down, your palm flat against the back of her neck and upper shoulders. Throughout it all you are fucking her, using her, just as she uses you, even if it’s for different reasons, with entirely different depths of emotion.
Her mouth muffled against the bed, she’s unable to say or do much more. And you prefer her this way, because every word she says - even the ones that spur you into fucking her harder, faster, deeper - will only make it harder to leave her when you’re done.
Not that you needed much motivation to fuck her the way she liked - hard, deep, but not wild or uncontrolled. You maintain your pace, enjoying the way her cunt squeezed and tightened rhythmically around you. Tzuyu knew how to communicate with her body, knew how to tell you exactly what she wanted without words.
You watch her beneath you, relished the sight of her helpless and unable to do much of anything but take your cock again and again. Her moans and sighs are muffled by the cotton of her bedsheets, but you heard enough of them to tell you you were hitting just the right spots inside her. She’s under you and she’s yours and you do your best to stay in the moment, enjoy the feeling of her wrapped around you.
You feel that feeling in your core, the telltale building of pleasure in your gut that heralds your impending orgasm, tells you to fuck her harder and deeper and bury your cum inside her. She must have felt it too, somehow, in the slightly more erratic rhythm of your thrusts, or the tighter grip of your palm against the back of her neck.
Tzuyu turns her head enough to clear her mouth of the bedsheets, despite your palm on the back of her neck.
“Fucking cum in me,” she hisses, “Please cum inside me. Make me yours.”
The perfect words, on any other night - but on this night they only hurt you.
Because she isn’t yours, might never be. Tomorrow, she might be another man’s. Even as you thrust harder and harder and your orgasm comes closer and closer all you can think of is how empty this feels, how even if she’s under you and taking your cum she’s not what you want her to be, what you need her to be.
But for a moment, a fleeting, blissful moment, you forget all that. Your hand leaves the back of her neck to join the other one at her hips, pulling her hips back against yours as you crest your peak, burying yourself inside her and letting go.
She moans as she feels you pulse inside her, each movement of your cock signifying another rope of warm, thick cum that fills her thirsty, needy little cunt. You give her a few more short, sharp thrusts before you bury yourself inside her for the last time. She’s so fucking full of you that your juices begin to overflow from her stuffed pussy, around the lips still tightly wrapped around your shaft, down your balls and her flushed thighs.
Time freezes, becomes irrelevant, and for a few blessed minutes you forget everything about the way you feel about Chou Tzuyu.
When your senses return and your brain has recovered long enough to process thought, the first thing you’re aware of is her voice.
“Fuck,” she’s saying, “God, that was… god.” And then she’s saying your name, and it makes you wince, as though hearing her say it caused you pain.
You slip out of her, and she winces herself - although hers is borne of the emptiness you’ve left inside her and not out of any deeper emotion. She makes no effort to get off her hands and knees, staying frozen there, her ass in the air like some lewd testament to the sinful acts you’ve just committed. You watch, absent-mindedly, as your cum drips from her well-fucked cunt, down her thighs, staining her bed.
Eventually she falls onto her side, facing you. You’re sitting there, on your knees on the bed, watching her. Her cheeks are flushed and her eyes are glassy. She’s so perfect, so desirable - and you curse yourself for the millionth time that night that you lacked both the wisdom to find the words to say and the courage to say them.
But it doesn’t matter, because you’re not the guy she wants, not the one she’s waiting for a call from. And that’s when it hits you, dark and ugly and painful - you wonder if she were pretending you were him this whole time, pretending it was his cock fucking her, making her cum, cumming in her, using you like some fucktoy replacement for the real thing.
You turn away from her, as though the very sight of her were somehow painful to you, despite the fogginess of your post-orgasm haze. Before you know it, you’re climbing off the bed, finding your pants on the floor, throwing them on.
“Are you-?” she begins, her words soft as you find your t-shirt and button-up, throwing them on.
“I, uh, I have to get back to the party,” you stammer, hoping she would buy your flimsy excuse for an exit. But you had to leave, had to do anything to get out of that room. The thought of losing her, the thought of this being your last time together - it hurt, it was too much, and every fibre of you screamed to get away from it.
“Oh,” she says, softly. You turn to find that she’s sitting up on the bed now, her arms wrapping around her knees.
“There’s, uh, my friend, he, he introduced me to this girl,” you mumble, fabricating a story, trying to come up with some way to hurt her, just as she’s hurt you. “I told her I’d, uh, get back to the party. She likes me, I think,” you add, the words tasting like ashes in your mouth.
“Right,” she says, surprise and something else in her low voice. Her knees come up closer to her chest. “So, um, hey, about that guy-”
“Good luck with him,” you spit, cutting her off, afraid of what you might hear if you let her continue. “Uh, let me know how it goes.”
There’s a short silence, one that drags on for longer than you’d like. You don’t look up at her, unable to muster the courage to do so. You fumble with your shirt buttons, fingers numb.
“Sure,” she says, finally. “I… I think I’m going to call him tomorrow.”
“Right. I, uh, I should go. I’ll. Uh. I’ll talk to you later,” you say, as you turn towards her bedroom door.
You think you hear her say something, a couple of words.
Your eyes finally look up at her, but she’s looking away. You look for confirmation on her face, but she’s turned away from you, and her expression is unreadable. She suddenly looks small and vulnerable.
“Did- did you say something, Tzuyu?”
“Nothing,” she says, a hand pressed against the side of her face, her eyes shut, as though she were suddenly fighting a headache. But just as quickly it appears, it’s gone, and Tzuyu manages a weak smile, even if there’s no happiness or mirth in her eyes. “It’s nothing. Be safe getting back to the party, okay? And don’t forget your jacket - it’s cold outside. Let me know when you get there.”
“I, I will, Tzuyu,” you say, words shaky, unsure. “See ya.”
You leave her, leave her hot, stifling apartment.
The night is cold.
Author’s Note: High five to you if you guess what she said.
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I was asked to elaborate more on what I mean when I said that Ellen isn't a victim, but rather the villain of the story.
Thank you for asking! I love analyzing this amazing film. I have watched it a stupid amount of times now and here's my thoughts.
The Story:
Very early on in the movie, Thomas is about to leave to meet Count Orlok. Ellen tells him not to go and tells him of a vision she has had. She says that it was her wedding day, and she was marrying death. Everyone around her was dead and there was the smell of lilacs, but she'd never been so happy.
The night before Thomas leaves, he's asleep while Ellen is filling an empty locket. Inside of it she places lilac and a piece of her hair.
Orlok notices the locket and examines it. Once he has it, he sniffs and notes the lilac that she has sent. He keeps the locket and doesn't return it to Thomas, because the gift was for him.
Orlok tricks Thomas into signing papers relinquishing the eternal bond through marriage he has with Ellen.
Later in the movie, Orlok appears before Ellen. This is a part of the movie where it kinda holds your hand. Ellen of course pushes back against him and accuses him of causing everyone's suffering. While Orlok points out that he is "just an appetite". A creature with no morals, merely a need. Meanwhile it is in fact Ellen who has summoned Orlok not once, but now twice. It is her who has brought all of this plague upon everyone. He tells Ellen that Thomas divorced her and now she must choose one of them. And he gives her three nights to make that decision.
During this time, the monster she has brought forth kills her friends and their family.
In the end, Ellen makes her choice. When Count Orlok arrives to see what choice she's made, she greets him in a wedding dress. They consummation their marriage, which leads to them both dying. The final shot is them surrounded by death and lilacs. Thus fulfilling the vision that Ellen had. She married death, everyone around her was dead, but she'd never been so happy.
The Characters:
Ellen is pretty cold to the two male leads of the movie.
Friedrich agrees to take Ellen in. Thomas says the trip is 6 weeks, which means Ellen stays with him for a minimum of 3 months. During that time she's having fits because her husband is away. Friedrich is shown to not like Ellen, but still does everything in his power to help her. He gets the doctor (who he definitely paid for), he goes out to get a specialist. He barely sleeps. His health deteriorates. To us, the audience, we know there's a monster. But he doesn't know that. And so when the doctor, the specialist, Ellen and now Thomas are all screaming about a monster, he is at his wits end. He has seen a plague ship, and now his wife is dying from it. He wants Thomas and Ellen to leave his home so that he can care for his wife, but Ellen immediately calls him "stupid and cruel" which hurts Friedrich deeply. He even points out to her "I'll call you cab, at my expense of course." to remind her of all he has done for her. In the end, her choices kill his entire family and then him.
Thomas takes the job to have enough money to care for his wife, which includes taking a dangerous journey alone. None of which Ellen shows gratitude for, rather she calls him selfish. When he returns to her, she emasculates him, leading to him having rough sex with her to prove himself. None of this is enough, bringing suffering to Thomas.
Ellen's love:
Ellen loves both Orlok and Thomas. But as Orlok points out to her, she has a darkness within her, and it was strong enough to reach and wake him from his eternal sleep. Note how never once in this entire movie does Ellen ever display any sort of fear towards Orlok.
Feminist themes:
As many critical analysis have pointed out, this movie is pretty feminist, but probably not in the way some people would think when they hear that word. It's unfortunate that even in 2024/2025 we live in a society that still infantizes women into always being the victim. I see women as adults that make decisions that have consequences, and I think Eggers explored that very well here. Ellen isn't treated as a helpless victim, she's treated as an adult that makes choices, and those choices brought harm to others.
Going back to my original point:
Ellen is the secondary, if not the main villain of the story. My personal opinion is that she is the main, because she is the main cause of the conflicts of the story.
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Original post
@tomie-dollie
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“You won't leave me? Right, Agoti?”
I tried and I failed miserably don't @ me for this.
#that one scene from omori#the basil bathroom scene? yeah#i TRIED OKAY#my art#fnf#fnf tabi#tabi fnf#angst#?#i mean it's that omori scene so#fnf omori au#omori au#fnf agoti#technically#since he's mentioned??#oh and since I'm here#I'm not sure if i should make tabi either as mari or as basil#OR as omori/sunny#THERE'S SO MANY CHOICES AND IT KINDA OF FITS#please#i am struggling with this one
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is this what yall want from me⁉️⁉️⁉️ smh /LHJ
i feel the need to clarify that i have NOTHING against people who draw jeff like this, in fact i love so many of the variations there are of him out there
however, i feel maybe some of yall haven't even seen the original jeff image that i based my personal version on,,which is kinda funny to me (because who hasn't seen it?? anyway its not that important lol)
this post is also not supposed to be taken too seriously, its just a silly little thing i wanted to do
#again. i dont mean to attack anyone with this.#i just find it kinda silly how so many people expect all fanart to fit their personal views of the characters#remember#if u disagree with someones HARMLESS artistic choices..you should probably keep scrolling#my art#merkoart#jeff the killer#creepypasta#shitpost#fan art
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hey guys look what i found in my drafts. from a few days ago .
#sorry i think its my fault that this happened#still unsure if The News is actually real or not tbh since no official sources have said anything about it as far as i know#and i hear the hollywood reporter is usually right about this stuff but idk#the fact that there are no actual sources or evidence for any of this other than ''just trust me bro'' is a bit suspicious to me#+ the fact that theyve been keeping the development of sonic 3 very quiet and secret#yet shadows voice actor. which is one of the biggest topics of discussion surrounding the movie. just. happened to leak somehow ?#but . the timing on this is kinda funny . and very tragic. if it is real#i said it already but i dont get why so many people are celebrating this. from what ive heard he doesnt fit ....#and it feels like another case of casting a random celebrity over an actual voice actor just to have a big name attached to the project#regardless of if theyre really the best choice.#which i thought everyone agreed was a shitty and annoying practice especially if its some iconic video game/comic/whatever character ?#but maybe i just havent heard the right specific voice clips that make people think its a good choice i dont know .
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🎩 Putting on a show with style… and snow! 🎩
(ID: Kirby series fanart of Shadow Kirby interacting with Daroach, with guest cameos by Dark Meta Knight and Spinni. Top right - SK & DMK reflected in a steampunk-inspired mirror, each dressed in the Dreamy Gear attire of their counterparts but more tailored to them (purples instead of blues for SK, a tattered red cape and a spiked hat belt for DMK). SK stands on his tiptoes and holds his cheeks with a wide, starry-eyed smile, delighted with his new outfit, while DMK stands just behind him to our left, curled into his cape and looking disgruntled, a bit of blush peeking through his mask. Outside the mirror, Spinni stands proudly on our right, smiling and giving a thumbs-up with a hand on his hip and a few sewing pins in his teeth, while Daroach (dressed in his own Dreamy Gear clothes) stands on the opposite side, pointing at his friends' reflections with an affectionate smile. Middle left - SK & Daroach holding the Magic top hat together, the puffball looking up in awe as the thief taps it with his wand, causing a pair of white doves to fly out in a small burst of confetti. Bottom right - SK wearing the Ice hat and skating gracefully on one foot towards the viewer, arms held out and expression full of joy. Behind him, Daroach skates by in the opposite direction, holding up his wand to unleash gusts of glowing snowflakes all around them. END ID.)
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 (you’re here!) | Part 7 | Compilation
Sketch started btw 12/23 - 06/24, render started 06/08/24, finished 06/13/24, updated for color correction 11/02/24.
#veins art#veins fanart#kirby series#kirby#shadow kirby#daroach#dark meta knight#spinni#the squeaks#kirby dreamy gear#friendship#(darkroach if you squint)#(but can be read as platonic if you want)#learning all the coolest tricks from his cool new uncle-figure#(heh)#takes them twenty minutes to get those poor birds outta the ship#also random thought: I can kinda accept a master thief having a magician aesthetic... but why ice powers?#(wait is it because he's cool? dammit I already made that joke)#also new headcanon just dropped: fashion designer Spinni#(only partially related but... stars I wanna put earrings on the rats so badly - I mean just look at all that wasted real estate!)#is this the DG universe or regular canon? your choice :)#look how happy SK is! no one's ever made him such a rad hat before!#(no one's ever made *anything* for him before... at least not back home)#Dark refusing to admit he's happy for the kid#(or that he kinda likes his new drip too)#ended up cutting this piece in two 'cause I had too many ideas and no room to fit them all ^^'#so we're getting at least one more in this mini-series :D#veinsfullofstars
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Rapid Eyes as a series is so haunting in a subtle way it's great.
#my art#rapid eyes#like the dread that permeates it is so good. it starts so small and just grows in each installment#there are just so many small details that sneak up on you and ive been thinking about them nonstop#i dont normally talk about the music choice in tags but i was thinking that old timey vaguely haunting romance songs kinda fit#like to me the series seems to be about self love and imposter syndrom and red eyes to me feels like a manfistation of that#like red eyes gives me obsessive energy like hes some sort of desperate manfistation of wildly osceilationg feelins about ones self#and something about old as hell crackly romance songs give that obsessive complicated feeling. like something is off#unfiction
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despite its willingness to have you mow down hundreds of faceless mooks veilguard is somehow really hesitant to let you actually kill anyone with a face and a name
#It's weird!#Dav chatter#datv critical#<- I guess?#Idk it's not necessarily bad it's just weird#But I kinda feel like that's the sum total of my criticism of the game#So many choices are weird and don't quite fit and could be ignored alone#But there are just so many of them that it adds up into a game that is so odd and disjointed that it's not good
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how is your game dev going:O
hi hi! ^-^/ it's tedious time-consuming work but thinking about The OCs™ I lovingly made and people maybe liking them all one day is what drives me when i get lazy or wonder why im doing this fr.
honestly i always want to talk about em here, but there's a part of me that doesnt want to spoil too much or 'ruin' the surprise for others yknow?
i do have a gamedev account. i nvr shared it cuz i got shy, but for those that want little peeks and updates here and there youre free to follow -> @kendev
but overall there's been pretty good progress on art and writing. been trying to focus more-so on the writing for a good while though, it's hard when you get distracted easy and lack discipline </3 </3 </3 but its getting there!
better to try than not :] ty for the ask
#kenmail#honestly i havent posted much there in a long time. its mainly little doodles or textposts i think fit characters#with the occasional devlog or character sprite/color testing#the separate blog is bcuz idk how much constant updates and stuff would bug ppl here#like yeah i get it. its my account i can post whatever! but there are some excited abt the game who want to go in somewhat blind#so i was trying to consider that. like 'hm ok. ill just make an account dedicated to The Work and snippets' yknow#that way people have the choice to view it if they want. or even mute the blog i suppose.#besides i wanna make more games in the future!! i figure its best for general branding. keep all the games under one catalogue kinda(?)#like yay follow this account for xyz updates. u-u probably gonna have to be a name change in the future tho maybe?#unless i make a separate blog again 🤔 so many accounts tho it sounds like more work so who knows....
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Jacob Elordi and Margot Robbie as Heathcliff and Cathy seems like out of The Onion
#Who knows maybe they'll be amazing like how Tom Hardy is able to pull being an amazing Heathcliff#But I doubt it I've never been into any of their roles much idk#And also#Couldn't they just#Even if they were amazing#Couldn't they just cast amazing people that actually fit the air vibes and look of the characters?#And not just some actors that are popular at the moment of the process of filming?#Besides very popular actors playing very popular characters is always ALWAYS wrong#I don't understand at all#And in 2024 year of our lord or whatever how do you cast a white man as Heathcliff? With all the significance it has?#Have you read the book or only wikiquote?#I think Jacob Elordi is a better fit than some others before him. At least he has some charm and you could believe he could throw a punch#But. Couldn't they just. Cast a man that also has physical presence but that fits the description of the book#and is not the pretty boy of the moment? It's detrimental for such an iconic character that the actor is that well known#and Heathcliff being non white is key. How do you mess that up every time ahfkabdkskd or#This will sprout more obligatory Dev Patel fancast and I don't want to see that either#Dev Patel is also famous and doesn't fit Heathcliff at all in vibes or looks. He is lanky and soft faced#Those fancasts always sit so wrong on me#Won't even talk about Margot Robbie as Cathy. The vibes are all wrong. She could have been Catherine Linton perhaps when she was twenty#But as Cathy? Cathy Earnshaw? All the wrong vibes#Truly like out of The Onion what is this mess#I talk too much#I should probably delete this later#Weren't they going to make an East of Eden adaptation that also had Famous Actress of the Moment as Cathy Ames?#Why do they always do that? Don't they know it's always shit? ahfkabdkskd#Why do the Dev Patel fancasts sit wrong on me? Because they feel lazy and kinda racist#You know one very famous non black actor of colour and cast him as Heathcliff. Come on. There's more people in the world#There's more actors of colour. There's more Indian actors. Many of them must be amazing and many of them are not famous#and many of them must resemble Heathclif's air and looks way more than Patel. Who is amazing but is not a good choice here#Tbh WH fancasts always kinda give 'Jacob Elordi and Margot Robbie as Heathcliff and Cathy' to me haha
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The only "good" (<- debatable) thing about the upcoming HTTYD live action is that all the weird racists in the fandom are announcing themselves and therefore making themselves easy to block on sight.
This is also simultaneously a bad thing, because it means the weird racists in the fandom are crawling out of their holes and being visibly garbage all over the place.
#there are so many valid reasons to not want a HTTYD live action and to criticize what we've seen so far#and all these people opted for 'as a racist this one casting bothers me'#...it's like the LEAST bad 'character design' in the remake too because they at least kinda went with costuming that fits the live medium#instead of trying to make it look like an awkward cartoon cosplay phoshoot like they did with Hiccup and Stoick 😭#this isn't criticism of any of the actors' physical appearances by the way. this is about the costuming/hair/makeup/visual direction choices#the HTTYD aninated characters already don't look like their book counterparts. it's fine.#httyd live action negativity#racism mention#I get that there are some characters in some fiction where their appearance or background is narratively or thematically relevant#but Astrid's appearance or family background literally don't matter to the story at all#also the actor 'using a wig' like ppl keep suggesting would also probably make her look like a fake cosplayer too#(in the context of trying to look like a cartoon character in a live movie.)
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oh also heres my little guys / story spotify playlist.. its kind of disjointed as in the songs represent different character perspectives / sometimes just general story vibes tbh
#usually i love making character playlists but its been very hard for me to find as many songs that fit this story as others ive had in the#past....#but theres still a few<3#ficposting#i wont go through them one by one on the post but i will inthe tags why not#real love baby: lfc and martinus sappy romantic Vibe. 'let's forget who we are for one night...' yes.them#a chicken with its head cut off: THEE caius martinus song Of All Time. literally him.#chateau lobby no.4: another lfc and martinus sappy romantic Vibe 100%...#red wine supernova: ^#epitaph for my heart: lfc perspective about martinus . so very much . kinda whiny pining self pitying but such a tune...#i wanna be yours: ^. perhaps a cliche choice but you cannot deny it is a tune...#paranoiac intervals: this is a good lfc song i think#first love/late spring: this is sooo caecilia/caecilia about lfc to me...#the one you really love: this one is kinda. leftover from an earlier character detail there used to be more emphasis on but it still could#be a martinus jealousy over someone else lfc liked in the past vibe#caesar on a tv screen: a great lfc vibe...#froot: this is lfc. To Me.#when my boy walks down the street: tbh this song has general rome vibes to me. also kinda martinuscore#masochism tango: lfc my masochistic freak<3#the night you can't remember: this reminds me of martinus and poppaea even though it doesn't fit perfectly
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I've been thinkin about the Synths in FO4 and how much fucking cleaner the writing would be if they just made them a Red Scare allegory instead of the slavery thing they got going on
would it be perfect ? no probably not but it would make so much more sense + make the factions a bit more "equal" in terms of morality
maybe this is just a me thing, but it's hard for me to go a BoS route or an Institute route considering one is like "I love killing slaves" and the other is like "I love having slaves." The Railroad is flawed, but it's hard for me to not side with them considering they're like "Hey guys I think slavery is bad actually" which yeah no shit. Changing the allegory to the Red Scare though makes it more complicated and (potentially) better written
The Railroad's cause suddenly becomes more questionable and less "obviously" moral, and makes the question of "How sentient are Synths and are they worth protecting?" a much more interesting question. The BoS becomes at least less egregious in their Synth hatred. I wouldn't call it GOOD but at least I understand it more in a Red Scare context. And the Institute doesn't fucking own slaves anymore
#☢️#☢️think about it#idk it just frustrates me how many good ideas are in this game but so many of them are fumbled#like the Red Scare just makes so much more sense especially considering the time period Fallout takes aesthetics from#the Red Scare started in the 50s#it just fits#kicks a rock god i wish this shit was better man#the synths as slaves is such a weird choice to do#ig it kinda works for the gen2 synths sorta but the sentience of them is all over the place and changes from individual to individual#also i think slavery isn't some topic you should never ever touch on#it can work especially in a universe like this#but it's just not handled well in this specific instance#idk man#fallout#fallout 4
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I have no idea why people send parts that don't match the listing. "aaaah looks close enough" my brother in christ it does not fit what I bought it for and is unsuitable as a replacement part! It's not likely that the buyer won't notice!
#tetranymous.txt#this has happened to me so many times in a row lately#only once I could make it work (phone battery)#but my xp gpu; the second xp gpu (replacement for the 1st) and now my phone's headphone jack?!?!#i'm kinda glad the connector is like 1/4 mil wider because then i'd be tempted to try it (likely not pin compatible)#it's not even as subtle as that. the wire is pointing the WRONG direction from both my old one and their listing photos. wrong length too#AND IT WAS TWELVE DOLLARS#if it was not for the laws of [NOT HAVING SURFACE MOUNT SOLDERING EQUIPMENT] then I would have [WORKING PART]#the jacks themselves are identical; it's the pcb; wire and connector that don't match (yknow. THE PART THAT MAKES IT WORK)#worst part is I CANNOT work out where I ordered the previous one from (that DID fit)#aaaaaaaaaaaa and I only found out it didn't match when I was about to instaaaaaaaaaall it. AFTER cleaning off all the old thermal paste#*sigh* this will probably be the last time I get parts from ebay unless I have no other choice#gonna go reassemble my phone now
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trigun (talking original anime not stampede/manga here as I can’t comment on those yet) is actually genuinely really solid in terms of themes and repeating imagery. the way the very setting of a desert with the associated resource scarcity plays into it all. you get monopolies over water where one family holds everything whilst the surrounding areas are left to rot. but then you have small patches of greenery that could have amounted to nothing but due to years of nurturing they’ve grown up into forests. it’s about what you do with what you’re given and what you choose to pass on to others.
#trigun#trigun spoilers#<- is it spoilers if the series came out over two decades ago. eh. let's play it safe#keep thinking about rem -> vash -> wolfwood and rem/vash vs knives in the whole debate about sacrificing one to save the many#because honestly both rem and knives' opposing philosophies are extremes and the only reason vash survived by rem's philosophy for so long#was because he wasn't human. rem and wolfwood don't have that and so the price they pay for moral purity is steep#(and honestly sometimes you do get scenarios where by choosing not to interfere it means more people suffer and vash is called out on this)#there's a reason why vash decides to carve his own path in the end and that's because both of the extremes are untenable#but he can still hold what he's been taught dear and move forward. people make mistakes and all they can do is try to be better#and that's all humanity as a whole can do. water and resources can be taken advantage of. but they can also be shared communally#and so in the series there is the hope that with water and nurturing eden will return and this desert planet will turn green#(also the christian imagery cracks me up but unlike with death note and eva I can't really call it faux symbolism because it kinda fits)#(and the gunpoint dilemma + cross scenes (rem -> wolfwood -> meryl) are so lovely if painful to watch#because the only time we know the 'right' choice was made is the last instance. the others are left to speculation)
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one thing i was not at all prepared for about having to go without glasses for a week is how the navigating my environment itself isn't a huge barrier--i have to be really slow and careful and it's annoying, but it hasn't actually stopped me from doing things including in the 'god this is going to be a hassle, i don't even want to start' way--but the major loss/change in sensory input as well as Oh God the HUD is Wrong is apparently a huge depression trigger. replacements cannot happen soon enough
#moogletalks#second half reminds me of when i tried contacts for a few weeks as a teenager and Dear Reader I Hated It#the contact care part aside it felt so SO bad to walk around places that aren't my bed without glasses on my face#and it turns out that feeling is the same whether i can or can't see while i'm wearing them!#i started wearing glasses full-time when i was eight and they're part of my brain and body map now#it used to throw me for a loop a lot when people talk about only wearing theirs part of the time; just because Wait but Your HUD#i thought maybe it was just a 'well i guess they must not need them as [often/heavily] as i to for daily life'#'i wouldn't be so freaked out by the idea of going about my day without mine if i weren't worried about not having them when i need them'#and tbh i think this kinda puts the kibosh on that because my vision *is* shitawful and things *are* more difficult without correction#My Life Would Not Be Unaffected on a Logistical Level#but i feel *considerably* less visceral OH SHIT FUCK THIS DERAILS EVERYTHING about it than many many many other smaller things#it's just kinda oh. well. alright then let's go#in fact i wish i could take a lot more things in stride like this one emotionally lmao#but the lack of the glasses themselves feels exactly as horribly wrong as it did over a decade ago#glasses can come with all sorts of fucking annoying problems and hassles to deal with!#but given the choice of affordable; sturdy; well-fitted glasses with the right prescription etc#i would 100% choose that over unassisted vision#including the increased peripheral vision i'd get from not wearing frames#braintag#adventures in mental illness
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