#THE NARRATIVE IMPLICATIONS

[danthropologie]

this sky sports checo interview and him talking about how force india/racing point/Aston Martin is his home and how much different red bull is and how hard it can be to adapt and how he has to consciously think through how he’s driving... Jesus Christ the narrative parallels. also the brief mention of his 4th child on the way like I was already on the he wants the red bull buyout conspiracy theory but that interview just heightened it so much

girl what now-

[dansemacabre]

(tw unreality!)

ayo new theory just dropped and bad news! the implications are cosmically horrifying

in the bulletin from time baby in book of bill, he says bill is a “danger to narrativity”, and that he risks the fourth wall. this kept bothering me. why reference the fourth wall here? why have time baby reference it? yeah the heaven page and shit is a bit meta, but thats just how bill talks, right? Well i was a fool

when you put “seven eyes” into the lost files site, this warning pops up from the oracle question mark? from journal three:

the therapese at the bottom translates to “set coords for dimension: r34lity”.

and putting r34lity into the website gives us this image:

the text below it reads they found a new home. those are “real” fucking images. the henchmaniacs are in our “reality”. the cryptids page might not have been a goof goof bit- they were “real”. (“real” meaning our reality in the book of bill sense of it but still our reality. is that tracking.)

none of the rest of the cast actually references us as a specific audience, or the fandom, or acts like we know them at all. the cast addresses everything they write to a mystery “reader” who needs to be saved from the book’s influence.

meanwhile, in the book of bill:

because bill’s not talking to a mystery “reader” who’s reading this book.

bill fucking sees us.

bill sees reality. REALITY reality. like this earth the one with alex hirsch and gravity falls the show and tiktok and shit. book of bill is a book in our reality for us the reader. (ie. there’s a reference to “they both reached for the gun” if you put gun in the website, which would only make sense if bill was sentient in this “reality” right now.) and someone is trying to get here to hide from him. maybe they’re already here.

[kittykatninja321]

Actually there is something so choice about how the narrative around Jason’s death pre-ressurection spends so much time reassuring Bruce (and the audience) that Bruce has no culpability and that Jason was hopeless and even at times tries to convince us that actually Jason wasn’t even really his son so Bruce didn’t fail as a father, he did the best he could really. Bruce doesn’t owe him anything. This could be seen as an attempt to distort history in order cope with Jason’s death, but this narrative is never actually challenged, we’re meant to take it as truth. And then Jason comes back and drags Bruce by the ear and goes actually no bitch you do owe me something you owe me a death. Bruce doesn’t get to wash his hands of him. Jason forces the issue, he refuses to let Bruce walk away clean. Good, he shouldn’t <3

[shorthaltsjester]

me when the campaign with characters i’ve praised for being essentially pawns/npcs in the greater world is ending by underserving the main characters by [checks notes] highlighting the role those characters have played as quasi-npcs who are nonetheless still the narrators of their destinies within the limits of a world beyond their control

[creativelycomplex]

Delainey Hayles and Joseph Potter aka Claudia and Nicki, hanging out together. The implications of these two hanging out!! Watch both of them haunt Lestat next season, I can’t fucking wait.

[iridescentmirrorsgenshin]

obsessed with hoyoverse one-upping themselves every time they revisit Alhaitham and kaveh, they gave us a flashback of an intimate conversation in their home in cyno’s second story quest, and now we get a flashback of the two having a ‘private’ conversation in a ‘secluded’ place, where it’s casually dropped that kaveh programmed mehrak to recognise alhaitham’s voice ????

firstly, it’s very, um, INTERESTING that the flashback starts with a line which we have no context for, of kaveh stating that ‘we’ have more than a heartless, transactional relationship to alhaitham, presumably referring to him and Alhaitham. i feel like this lack of context is deliberate, as Alhaitham is the one to provide the context in the following line

this insinuation is !??!!? considering that kaveh has previously considered his and alhaitham’s relationship to be exactly that – a heartless, transactional relationship, in that he believed he owed Alhaitham something, and that Alhaitham expected something from him, when moving into alhaitham’s house

so personally I’m running with this line referring to mehrak, but also commenting on the progression of the relationship between Alhaitham and kaveh, I will make a more extensive post about this at some point!

But also this flashback scene provided us with apparently the very essential information that mehrak now recognises alhaitham’s voice <3

this is driving me a bit umm crazy actually!! Mehrak has been previously established as kaveh’s helper companion, and in his voice line he says that he hopes mehrak understands what he’s saying, which hints to his loneliness at the time he made it – after he moved into alhaitham’s house

and now we have a whole scene establishing how their relationship is not heartless, how kaveh feels terrible about having potentially driven it away from him, and ultimately how important mehrak is to kaveh, only for this to be followed by Alhaitham saying that he and mehrak have ‘met’, as if meeting a person, which to me establishes that he knows how mehrak is important to kaveh, and this culminates in Alhaitham letting kaveh program mehrak to recognise his voice

mehrak being emotionally significant to kaveh is being used to indicate the intimacy of Alhaitham and kaveh’s progressed relationship, as Alhaitham is the only other person whom mehrak recognises, and may even respond to – which highlights how important kaveh interprets the bond between him and Alhaitham to be

where kaveh used to be lonely, he now has integral bonds whom he allows himself to rely on, which corresponds to his understanding of a ‘home’

[embraceweird]

In ep 24 "Knock Knock" I found this interaction between Kalaya and Eursulon so fascinating

Kalaya: You're a true friend of a wizard of the citadel?

Eursulon: Yes.

[...]

Kalaya: Is she kind?

Eursulon: She can be.

It felt like such a big sister thing to be cautious of this wizard and have concern for her little brother. A spirit in a world that can be unkind to wild ones such as themselves.

But more interesting than that was Eursulon's answer. "She can be." It could be interpreted as, sometimes she is kind and other times not. Which we have seen both from Suvi (wielding the power, prestige, and station of a wizard vs loving and cherishing her friends).

But it could also be interpreted in a future connotation. Like she COULD be kind but we have yet to see. Will the citadel justification machine take over or will she retain the lessons learned from grandmother wren and hold on to a respect for the world of spirits

Last Eursulon saw Suvi she was caught between her friends and the citadel. And while wizardry is not innately unkind the systems put in place by the citadel can be concerning. Suvi has the potential to go down an alarming path with the brass of the citadel pushing her along. She has the capacity to be "unkind". But the gut reactions we see from her. The Suvi reactions, not Sky or the citadel, but SUVI are always kind. With her friends in her life Suvi can be kind and would continue to be kind. But her friends keep pulling away and the fall out from the last goodbye may be very influential into who Suvi will be.

Eursulon may not have meant much by his response but it feels very ominous in that we are yet to see the type of legacy this interation of the wizard Sky is going to leave.

[lifetooshortlovetoolong]

Okay so I know everyone loves our little trifecta of TLT unreliable narrators because the variances of liar/oblivious/in denial are perfect but I think the Peak Combination of all three is embodied by IANTHE in The Unwanted Guest. Oh, and sprinkle gaslighting into that mix, too.

Girlie had Palamedes forcibly enter her head and immediately just starts to absolutely warp the narrative both knowingly and unknowingly.

Oh, you want control of the body she puppeting? Well, she's gonna create a complex scenario in which a stage play is taking place in her literal mind palace where she's gonna sit here and be kissed and attended to by figments of her subconscious while you have to answer her riddles three about where Bab's body is (well, technically one riddle, but whatever).

And she seems so on-top of this narrative, which is reflected in the choice of framing the entire short as a play, a format in which plot/setting circumstances compel a character's story, not vice versa. Ianthe makes it seem as if everything is as it should be, which what “should be” is her in power/control.

And yet, the entire time this trap of her own design is happening, she has no fucking clue what she's doing. She's making the riddle shit up to throw at Pal because she doesn't know where Bab's body is, she doesn't know why she doesn't know that, and she is also scared that not knowing that means that his soul is ultimately hers now. Not to mention the fact that Pal is metaphorically breathing down her neck to take control. She lies, she's oblivious, and she's completely in denial, all to save her own skin.

And so this perfectly lit (or should I say gaslit) scenario of the play comes crashing down around her as the core realities of Ianthe's psyche and soul are deconstructed by Pal. The attendants are gone, the coffins are empty, and Ianthe is left alone on stage while Pal leaves the auditorium altogether when he's figured her out. Her narrative power, in all its lying, obliviousness, and denial, is literally wrenched from her by him leaving the space she's shaped her truth in. It's an absolutely banger choice.

All this to say, Ianthe is the true neutral of unreliable TLT narration. Yes, she does know she's being unreliable, but she has no clue why and that's as intriguing as it a little unsettling and upsetting.

[t3m4]

coaching the witness

[piromina]

I’ve been reading your posts about Beast-Yeast 8 and, uh.

Isn’t it interesting that the Light of Truth only speaks up exactly ONCE during this entire episode and when it does, it’s talking to Shadow Milk Cookie?

anon you have just brought this to my attention and the answer is YES 100%!!!

here's the entire exchange screenshotted, and analysed for reference!

the exchange happens DIRECTLY after the whole thing where shadow milk and pure vanilla become "one and the same" — each with their own other-realms to control.

now, the light of truth comes in with a completely black background. usually when we see it, it's pure vanilla in the abyss of his soul, surrounded by blue glowing eyes and twisting and turning in the darkness. shadow milk's other-realm, really.

and its line: "is it truly YOUR will?" can imply very many things.

we all know the light of truth is shadow milk cookie. that's why when we saw this exchange, we stopped, paused — immediately knew this wasn't the REAL light. we've got an imposter on our hands, and it seems to know something about Shadow Milk's past that we don't.

after the exchange, he is SHOCKED. but not just shocked — is that ... uncertainty? shadow milk, "fount of knowledge," master of all his plans, always one step ahead, not knowing something.

or maybe he does know something. maybe he knows who this imposter light of truth is. he SEEMS to recognise them, thus is his reaction. if shadow milk was faced with a light of truth suddenly talking to him, one that is not him, and he didn't know who it was, don't you think his reaction would be something different? more confused? more in denial? he would suspect something like it being pure vanilla reaching out to him, trying to scare him — and I'm not saying this isn't pure vanilla, but don't you think he would have reacted more ... "oh, I know what you're doing, stop trying to get to me, you're not fooling anybody" and not like THIS??

he MUST know who exactly this is. yes, maybe this is pure vanilla. propaganda for this theory being that he now has control over his OWN other-realm, and thus would be able to make a connection like this. maybe this is shadow milk cookie himself, or at least the hidden part of him (which would explain the "is this YOUR will" part. maybe this is the part of him that wanted to find out everything there was to know, to quote the crk 4th website. but then something happened, and deceit took over, and that part of him was hidden away.)

it could be ANYONE. for all we know, this could be one of the witches. this could be elder faerie. this could be someone that knows something about shadow milk, or someone who was involved in his past. we don't know.

but one thing I'd like to point out: BEFORE this exchange, the two realms were split: one side clearly vanilla's and the other being shadow milk's. but when he wakes up ... it's all pure vanilla. AND:

maybe it's just me, but he seems GENUINELY shocked here. genuinely afraid. mad? confused. DESPERATE.

and, he cannot control his other-realm anymore. it's vanished. more propaganda for pure vanilla somehow being involved in that light of truth showing up. he threw shadow milk into an abyss, saw his opportunity, and took it.

and THAT is truly one of the best points in this entire episode of beast-yeast.

[1428elmstrt]

"Wear this charm over your heart, always."

The Wolf Man (1941)

[always-a-joyful-note]

what - what do you mean Firm Man can't bend over or crawl because of the way people shaped him? What do you mean that's a thing that can happen??

[cupcakegalaxia]

Ignoring pain is like pretending you haven't entered the event horizon of a black hole.

[estebanbicon]

The F1 driver who takes every opening he sees

A mechanic’s son, Esteban Ocon took an unlikely path to an F1 driver’s seat. Now he’s fighting to keep it.

MONTE CARLO, Monaco — The mechanic’s son walks past women in bright dresses and men in fine suits, many of them sipping champagne. He breathes in the salty air of the Mediterranean, its shoreline neither rocks nor sand but dozens of mega-yachts.

The Monaco Grand Prix, held each May, is the global peak of sports opulence, less street race than picture postcard from high society: A-listers and royals toasting the good life in the richest place on Earth. Several Formula One drivers live here, their plain-sight hideaway amid a Netflix-fueled fascination with their sport. Among them are Max Verstappen and Lewis Hamilton — champions, multimillionaires and household names in a sport Hamilton has called a “billionaire boys club.”

Esteban Ocon, though, is not of this world. When Ocon was a karting wunderkind, other drivers would sneer at him and scoff, whispering that the only child of a dumpster-diving mechanic doesn’t belong. That the Frenchman, now 28, will forever be a [wanderer] playing dress-up in a place such as Monaco. Even after eight years on the grid, he remains an outsider.

Then again, an impressive finish here would change minds. It might even change Ocon’s, convincing him it’s possible to be born into one end of the economic spectrum and, with enough talent and moxie, reach the other.

He changes out of his jeans and into an Alpine race suit. He stretches the muscles on his thin frame and climbs into a $15 million super machine. The green flag drops. Ocon accelerates, 0 to 100 mph in 2½ seconds, trying to position himself and his team for an early chance at points. Over the years, he has proved himself as a skilled and fearless driver, aggressive sometimes to the point of recklessness.

With Monaco’s narrow streets and hairpin turns, passing is dangerous. Three-time world champion Nelson Piquet once compared it to riding a bicycle in your living room. And trying to pass a teammate? It simply isn’t done.

Before the race, in fact, Alpine instructed its drivers to avoid each other. Whoever is ahead after the first lap should stay there; the driver behind him is to protect his blind side.

Midway through the first lap, the cars are clustered. Pierre Gasly, Alpine’s other driver, is immediately in front of Ocon. On the eighth turn, just before the circuit’s famed tunnel, Gasly eases off the accelerator. Ocon sees his teammate drift left, allowing space between Gasly and the wall, creating an opening.

FIVE HUNDRED MILES NORTH, there’s a small French village built into the lush countryside. People in Évreux raise chickens, recycle batteries, mow their own grass. And the locals tell of a man north of town who could bring back the dead, so long as the corpse had four wheels.

One of those locals, Marc Guillouet, still remembers the sound of Laurent Ocon’s air compressor bellowing at all hours as Ocon performed reconstructive surgery on another broken-down used car that had been towed through his gate. Then, hours later, another sound: the engine humming back to life.

“The way he refurbished it,” Guillouet says, “it was like new.”

Laurent was a self-taught mechanic who built his shop onto the back of the Ocons’ home, a single-car garage jutting out in yellow stucco. It was in the house’s rear, but it acted as the family’s entrance. Before school some mornings, young Esteban would see his father, grease up to his elbows, still trying to solve the previous night’s puzzle. When Esteban returned in the afternoon, he would watch Dad beamas he turned the key, listened and … there it was, that beautiful music.

“We live for that,” Esteban says now. “He wants to win, like me.”

Laurent’s passion was reviving machines. His son’s was maneuvering them. Esteban says he was 4 the first time he got behind the wheel of a go-kart, gliding around the track at an amusement park, through cones and around other karts as if it were second nature. His friend who came along drove straight into the wall.

Esteban kept driving, testing himself in bigger, faster, more complex machines. The families of some other 8-year-olds hired engineers, barked into radios and traveled with professional mechanics. But Laurent and wife Sabrina had no money for that. If Esteban’s carburetor failed or his torsion bar broke, it was Laurent who mounted a new one. Then they would return to Évreux from Ambourville or Rouen, often with Esteban cradling another trophy.

“We tried to protect Esteban from pressure as much as possible,” Laurent says, answering questions emailed by The Washington Post. “But unfortunately, the only solution is to perform.”

After one of Esteban’s races, a representative from a management company approached. The boy had the talent to make racing his career, the man said, but it wouldn’t be easy. Or cheap.

Thousands of European kids grow up dreaming of the Formula One life, waiting to pilot a rocket at circuits such as Monza and Silverstone and Monaco. Most never make it, and even those who only come close do so after millions have been spent on equipment, travel and engineering.

The families of many drivers commit hundreds of thousands before their child becomes a teenager, largely to get noticed by top feeder programs and driver academies. Among the hopefuls are the kids of billionaires and oligarchs, able to bankroll the pursuit of a nine-figure dream. A few even pay their way onto the F1 grid, with cash-strapped teams agreeing because it transfers the financial responsibility.

Most, though, spend years working their way up.

“Even if you are talented,” Esteban says, “if you don’t have the right people, you don’t manage.”

But all he had were his parents.

“If he really wants to do it,” Esteban remembers hearing Laurent say years ago, “we’ll give him everything we can.”

LAURENT AND SABRINA SOLD THEIR HOUSE and the family business, leaving behind anything that didn’t fit in a 21-foot motor home. They stuffed Esteban’s mini-kart into the rear of a van, surrounded it with tools and Esteban’s toys, then hitched the motor home to the van’s rear.

“Prepping,” Esteban’s parents told him, “for the rest of your life.”

With Évreux in the rearview, home now was a parking lot in Lyon or a roadside in Le Mans. Ten-year-old Esteban had his bicycle and the family border collie to keep him company. Sabrina outfitted the motor home with a fake fireplace and told friends it was their mobile chateau. Le Palais des Ocons had a living room and shared sleeping quarters, with views that were a mountain some days, a vineyard others.

Sabrina and Laurent convinced their son that each day was an adventure, each morning a chance for Esteban to open the door so he and their dog, Viper, could breathe in a dramatic new backdrop. He and Laurent sometimes went on long bicycle rides, where they talked about engines, racing, the future. Then the convoy headed to a nearby track, where the soft-spoken Esteban slid on a helmet, climbed into his kart and transformed into an assassin. There wasn’t an opening he wouldn’t hit, a pass he wouldn’t attempt, a throat he wouldn’t cut. Esteban wanted to win races, yes, but victory was about more than bragging rights.

In his 9-year-old mind, he says, it was the only way to repay his parents.

“I had weight on my shoulders very early,” he says. “There was never a Plan B in my head.”

In 2006, Esteban, then 10, won the regional mini-kart championship, which qualified him for a spot in the French Cup’s “Minime” division. He reached the final heat, and he and another young star, Charles Leclerc, angled for positioning on the last lap. Esteban went inside, trying to overtake Leclerc, and their tires touched. Leclerc spun out and hit the wall; Esteban recovered but finished outside the top five. The two boys spent the rest of the day crying.

The family returned to Évreux each winter, staying with family so Esteban could attend a few months of school before the new season. Otherwise, they kept moving, rarely in the same place for more than a few days.

Esteban won the French Cup in 2007, the “Cadet” title a year later, the junior championship in 2010. With every promotion came longer trips and more expensive gear. An entry-level “baby” kart costs about $3,000, not including registration fees and fuel, and a used mini-kart engine and chassis can be twice that.

By 2011, with a promotion to Winning Series Karting, the chateau was crossing borders so Esteban could race in Spain, Italy and Portugal. Entry fees alone were upward of $5,000 per race, with fuel and spare parts pushing the cost higher. All youth sports have their own unique cultures, and in this one, there is an established taboo: Kids don’t talk about their parents’ wealth.

But chatter happens anyway. Jos Verstappen, father of 14-year-old Max, used to drive in Formula One and spent $1 million bankrolling his son’s career. Leclerc grew up among the yachts and Ferraris of Monaco, and Lance Stroll’s dad, Lawrence, was a fashion billionaire.

Esteban’s folks?

Homeless, the other boys murmured. Sometimes, they said, they even saw his dad lurking near the circuit, waiting to pull other drivers’ used tires out of the trash.

IN 2014, OCON, THEN 18, won nine races and finished in the top three in 21 of 33 races to claim Europe’s Formula Three championship. But it was 17-year-old Verstappen, who had finished third, who was promoted seven months later and became the youngest driver ever to appear on the F1 grid.

“My dad always said it’s not going to be easy,” Ocon says now. “I didn’t really know what my future would be.”

He spent the 2015 season with Mercedes and Lotus — discussed alongside Verstappen, George Russell and Gasly as the sport’s next generation of starsbut still toiling in its minor leagues.

The next season, another young driver, Indonesia’s Rio Haryanto, won a spot with Manor Racing, a fledgling F1 team from Britain. F1 teams today operate under an annual maximum budget. Back then, though,the annual cost for a two-car team could reach nearly $200 million per year. Some teams have lucrative sponsorship agreements and investments from engine manufacturers, but others rely only on prize money and the potential share of a year-end financial pie that is distributed to the teams that finish in the top 10 in points.

Haryanto started the first 12 races that year before Manor dropped him — and not just because he never finished better than 15th. It was because Haryanto, initially backed by a $16.65 million investment from an Indonesian oil and gas company, ran out of money.

Manor’s own survival depended on performance, so in August 2016, it contacted the most talented driver available and told 19-year-old Esteban to get to Belgium. A management company had agreed to underwrite Ocon’s career, so with the motor home now retired, the family traveled by plane.

“A lot of emotions and relief,” Laurent recalls. “The culmination of 16 years.”

FOUR MONTHS AFTER ESTEBAN’S F1 DEBUT, with the sport itself at a crossroads, Manor Racing announced it was broke.

It was January 2017, and this was the first of several dominos to tumble.

The next was that Force India, a well-funded team and a new contender, offered Esteban a multiyear contract after its No. 2 driver, Nico Hülkenberg, defected for Renault. With an elite car, Esteban finished seventh in Russia, fifth in Barcelona, sixth in Montreal — valuable points for his team and proof he belonged.

Then, in Azerbaijan, Ocon saw an opening. He tried to pass Sergio Perez, his Force India teammate, before their wheels touched. A moment later, he went for it again, contacting Perez’s car and damaging both vehicles.

“What did Esteban do, guys?” Perez said on his headset radio. He later called Ocon’s behavior “unacceptable.”

Three races later, Ocon again collided with Perez in Hungary, and a week later in Belgium, Ocon tried to pass his teammate on the inside. The cars made contact, Perez’s front wing flew off, and the veteran driver’s anger exploded.

“Honestly, what the f--- is this guy doing?” Perez said. “F---ing idiot.”

High drama — which, considering the sport’s new ownership, was undoubtably welcome.

Long owned by a European private equity fund, Formula One had recently been purchased by Liberty Media, an American entertainment titan that parlayed its ownership of struggling assets, from satellite radio to the Discovery Channel and QVC, into ownership of the Atlanta Braves. It wasalready planning the all-access Netflix docuseries that would debut in 2019 — less than a year before the pandemic. When the sports calendar ground to a halt, “Drive to Survive” became a massive hit that sent each team’s value soaring.

Sponsors and investors were fighting for a piece of a sports gold rush. Not everyone could keep up, though. Force India’s owner, Vijay Mallya, defaulted on more than $1 billion in loans after his airline failed, before numerous banks accused him of fraud. (Mallya has called these accusations “rubbish” but, after fleeing India for England, is still considered a fugitive.) He sold his team to a group of investors led by Canadian billionaire Lawrence Stroll, who had made his fortune on the threads of Tommy Hilfiger and Michael Kors. And who happened to have a son, Lance, who drove, if not very well, for Williams Mercedes.

Just like that, it was Ocon being bumped, his dream blown to pieces by his own team. When the 2019 season started, he was out of a job. He blamed “politics.”

He joined Mercedes as a reserve driver, and during race weekends, he says, he would climb into a racing simulator and go through scenario after scenario until 4 a.m. On no sleep, he would go to the airport and travel to wherever F1 was because that’s also where Ocon could meet with potential investors, sponsors and engineers. Then, a week later, he would do it all again.

“I didn’t care because I said, ‘Let’s give it a full go,’ show the people how hungry I am,” he says. Failure, he told himself, would mean that his parents’ sacrifices had been in vain.

“I didn’t do all that just to sit on the side,” he continues. “Teams saw how much I was willing to give, how much I was willing to suffer. I wanted to show everyone that I’m willing to go further than anyone else. No sleep for three straight days, simulator day and night, I’m going to do it. And, yes, I’ve lost four kilos in that year and got sick seven or eight times, and the reality is, yes, I’ve suffered and it was tough. And I don’t want to be suffering forever.”

In late summer 2019, with the first season of “Drive to Survive” being filmed, Ocon’s phone rang. Renault was parting ways with Hülkenberg. The French team wanted the kid from Évreux to come home.

“A crazy moment,” Ocon says. “This was it. The tough times are over now.”

LAST YEAR IN MONACO, something happened that was highly disruptive: Ocon finished third. It was his third appearance on the podium and his best result since he won the Hungarian Grand Prix in 2021. In one of Europe’s nightclub capitals, the 27-year-old celebrated. Hard.

Fatigued, dehydrated and emotionally drained, Ocon again got sick. He was nonetheless due back on the grid in Barcelona four days later. He finished eighth in each of his next two races, then 14th, then didn’t finish the two after that.

Nobody weeps for the motorsports rock star, but a life spent in constant motion does take a toll. A year after signing with Renault, which rebranded as Alpine, Ocon was reportedly paid $5 million per year. He put Laurent and Sabrina on the payroll of “Team Esteban,” he says, assigning his mother administrative tasks and his father responsibilities such as renovating Esteban’s house. He could also hire a performance coach to keep his body and mind sharp — or as sharp as possible in a sport whose schedule features two dozen stops around the globe.

Now, years after Laurent and Sabrina tried shielding their son from many of racing’s pressures, it is Tom Clark’s job to act as Ocon’s conscience. To tell him it’s okay to sleep in on weekends, to grab a nap after practice, to avoid media and fans because more interactions mean more exposure to pathogens.To urge him to eat more lean protein and complex carbohydrates, stay ahead of time zones by wearing sunglasses to simulate darkness, use a light therapy lamp or glasses that emit a bright glow above the eyes. To encourage him to take it easy sometimes, especially when it comes to challenging teammates, and maybe to even think about gearing things down a tad.

“Let’s really just put a bubble around you,” Clark says he tells Ocon.

The problem is this is in conflict with the instincts that got Ocon here. Without deprivation and exhaustion, would he have ever left Évreux? If not for aggressive racing and a ruthless competitive drive, could he have even reached the grid? Especially when it comes to challenging teammates, can’t he gear things down a tad?

ON THE FIRST LAP at this year’s Monaco Grand Prix, there’s Gasly in 10th place. Ocon is 11th. Points are awarded to only the top-10 finishers.

The Alpine drivers have known each other since childhood, their hometowns just 20 minutes apart, friends scratching and clawing for better footing. When they were 12, both were in the same championship race. Gasly overtook Ocon on the last lap to win. “I kicked his ass,” Gasly told the Netflix documentary crew, “and he didn’t like it.”

Not long after, the French racing federation had an opening at its sports academy in Le Mans, a kind of Hogwarts for kid racers. It was Gasly who got the invitation, not the mechanic’s son. The friendship crumbled, just one more thing Ocon left behind as he boarded the motor home once more, looking to win races, yes, but also in search of acceptance.

“But look where I am now,” he says. “That has helped me to get through a lot of steps in my life. That’s what made me so competitive, I guess, from so early on.”

Ocon and Gasly hadcollided in 2023, too, in Australia, with both cars taking race-ending damage. After that, tension between the teammates boiled over when Gasly accused Alpine of coddling Ocon. Before Monaco, the team told the pair to cool it.

And they did, for all of 40 seconds. Now, seeing that narrow opening, Ocon goes for it.

His rear tire connects with Gasly’s front wheel once, then a second time, sending a bitter cloud of burned rubber into the sea air. Ocon’s car goes airborne before turning sideways, and though it lands on its wheels, the impact causes catastrophic damage.

“What did he do?” Gasly says into his radio.

Pieces of carbon fiber fly off Ocon’s car. The tire is punctured, the gearbox fried, the suspension arm broken.

“That’s it, guys,” Ocon tells his team. His Grand Prix is finished.

Needing repairs that will cost tens of thousands and with Ocon’s car due in Montreal in 10 days, Bruno Famin, Alpine’s team principal, publicly admonishes Ocon and vows “consequences.” F1’s governing body, the Federation Internationale de l’Automobile, penalizes Ocon after ruling he initiated the collision.

A week after Monaco, Alpine announces that, in 2025, it will replace one of its drivers. Neither had gotten a podium, and only Ocon had won a point for Alpine. But the team chooses to keep Gasly, meaning Ocon again will be set adrift, the [wanderer] seemingly destined to forever roam.

A FEW MONTHS AGO, Esteban and Laurent went for a long bike ride. The old man still lives near Évreux, operating a shop his son bought him. He still likes to work on cars and make music, albeit as more hobby than job, andprefers to traverse the countryside on an e-bike.

Even against his dad, Esteban can’t help himself.

“I still pull away,” he says.

First, though,during a quieter moment on a recent ride, Laurent told his son a story.

There was once another boy with talent and ambition, the story went, hoping to someday become a professional cyclist. He was as skilled as anyone, but the other kids had access to training and coaches that this boy’sfamily couldn’t afford. So lying in bed one night when he was 16, he succumbed to these economic realities and abandoned his dream, diverting his attention and passion into becoming a mechanic.

So, he went on, when that boy became a man and a husband and a dad, he and his wife agreed to do everything possible to position their son for success. To tell him about possibility, not limitation, and raise him in an environment that would eliminate regret.

“He had never told that story,” Esteban says. “That moment, basically, when he was lying on the bed like that, probably changed my life. They clearly gave more than what they could, and without them I wouldn’t be here.”

Esteban says he occasionally fantasizes about what it would be like to stay in one place: to stop moving, inhale, feel settled. Maybe someday, he says, but not just yet. In July, after Ocon was two months adrift, Kevin Magnussen announced he would be leaving Haas.

Haas, as it happens, is run by Ayao Komatsu, a former F1 engineer who had met and encouraged Esteban when he was just a teenager. A decade later, Komatsu came through. Haas offered Ocon not only a seat for 2025 but acceptance for all the things he is and is not.

“Esteban, he needs an environment that he knows the team is behind him, supporting him, listening to him,” Komatsu says. “No politics. I believe we can provide that.”

But what about the suggestion that Ocon doesn’t play well with others? That you can never take the Évreux fully out of the kid?

“If I was worried about that,” Komatsu says, “I wouldn’t sign him.”

After their bikeride, Laurent and Esteban turned around but kept talking over the wind. Farmland and hills blurred past, same as they did years ago, and a favorite memory of Esteban’s sprung to mind. It was morning, and the 12-year-old awoke in the motor home again with no idea where he was. So he opened the door to see blue sky, the slopes of great mountains, the shoreline of the Mediterranean.

Laurent had parked the van and motor home in Monaco, where yachts are moored and the best drivers live. Esteban remembers the feeling of that moment, the possibility, and his dad stepped out and said there was nothing to stop his son from racing here someday. Whatever came next would be determined by Esteban.

“There was no guarantee,” Esteban recalls his dad saying. But the boy had a chance to prove he belonged. Picturing the momentyears later, he inhaled, kept pedaling and let Laurent catch up as the two of them headed home.

[nellasbookplanet]

I recently started reading (and ended up dropping partway through) an m/m retelling of an old legend, and it made me think of this reoccurring thing I've come across a handful of times now in m/m fiction and how they approach women, equality, and world-building.

Let's call it the omegaverse problem, because that's where it seems the most blatant (I've only come across it twice outside of fandom spaces that I can remember). Basically, it's when the writer looks at the unequal and sometimes oppressive roles women serve in society (today and historically), and goes 'this is a good basis for dark romance but there are too many women here' and then just. plops men into the roles traditionally served by women and recreates heteronormative tropes but They're All Men Now, none of those icky women.

Now, completely removing any and all gender based inequality isn't a bad basis for a queer-inclusive fantasy! But thing is, this type of narrative isn't interested in women, so they often read as if women have mysteriously disappeared from society (except for the occassional mom or sister). They don’t bother to include women in traditionally male areas (the book I dropped had plenty of male courtesans, with diplomats and bodyguards and advisors also being male) nor to create new roles for them.

They also generally don’t bother to look critically at the systemic and societal inequalities they're mimicking. The concept 'typically sexist society but they're all men (or all women)' could be used to alienate and deconstruct our ideas of what’s 'normal' and what’s oppressive, a way to compare the intersections of class and gender. Instead, this kind of story is only interested in using inequality as inter-character conflict and set-up for romance. And it sucks.

[divorcedtom]

helena using mark, who she sees as subhuman and only exists to serve her family, for sex is a level of exploitation that i hope they unpack further