#THE LONELY NEGLECTED CHILD HAS LOVE AND SUPPORT AND FRIENDS???

[completeoveranalysis]

[9]

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[moonlightseve]

There is something tragic about Viktor Nikiforov. We get to see so little of his values and personality during the show, but the bits you can glimpse make this fact abundantly clear.

He commissions his own music in order to tell the story he wants to tell — we know that for sure. So Stammi Vicino was exactly what he wanted, a desperate plea for someone to understand him, to want him. The line “have you been abandoned as well?” sticks out to me especially, because it implies Viktor already has been abandoned. We don’t know much about his family or his friends, but the fact that we only ever see Yakov supporting him kind of makes me think that that’s all he has. He himself says he’s neglected life and love for over twenty years… it’s hard for me to accept that he could have any sort of fulfilling familial or platonic relationship we just don’t see on screen and for that statement to remain true.

The façade he insists on, the image of victory incarnate that even follows him in his name (he is a victor, down to his core) is something he never sheds. He has identified who he is SUPPOSED to be, first and foremost. The beach scene where he asks Yuuri who he is supposed to be for him breaks my heart because it has to be a conversation he has with himself regularly. Who do other people want him to be, and how can he be that for him? Never mind his own desires. The man is so reigned in emotionally that we don’t ever see an outburst from him, despite the fact that they’re frequent from the other characters. Viktor is calculated in every regard, to the point that Yuuri is downright shocked when Viktor starts to tear up when he’s practically kicked out of Yuuri’s life.

Whenever he tries to coach Yuuri, he seems to reflect on how he has been treated in the past and use that as a starting point. So when he refrains from the smooth confidence and gentle reassurance Yuuri favors, instead trying to motivate him through fear of loss and attempts to shame him (I will stop being your coach, how have you not medaled) it makes me think that that’s how he has been handled in the past. And he has a thicker skin than Yuuri, I think, but he was only a child when he started skating. To completely lack that sort of unconditional support explains why he hides so much of himself away and insists on constructing an image of himself for other people to admire instead.

Since we aren’t getting Ice Adolescence, I doubt we’ll ever really know what his early career or childhood looked like, but I’m almost certain that it wasn’t the warm, loving environment we see Yuuri has in Hatsetsu. When you’re at the top, there’s no one that can be up there with you. It’s lonely.

[agentrouka-blog]

Hi ! Sorry for bothering you with HOTD discourse AGAIN ,but I really wanna know your thoughts on Alicent and her kids relationship.

Have a good day/night !

Within the show, the energy I get from their relationship is less mother-child and more eldest daughter raising her younger siblings because no one else will do it.

We watch a child still mourning the loss of her own mother, still just toying with the role of the Maiden that society affords highborn girls (a figure of romance and chivalry, afforded admiration and glamor), and we watch her already struggling with a sense of doom and dread regarding their society and her powerlessness in it, expressed through her hands.

Then we see these fragile identities entirely taken away without a choice. She doesn't get to be a girl anymore, she doesn't get to explore the illusion of agency as a desired maiden wooed by handsome knights. She is suddenly transplanted into the role of a physical body that must endure its own violation for the purposes of others. Her children are things produced and birthed and cared for in a state of dissociation. And there are no rewards in it, no trade-off in power or status to replace the small safety she had before. She is profoundly lonely, no one takes her seriously. The father who should have protected her sacrificed her for his political goals, the one friend she thought she could relate to has coldly abandoned her. Her husband is her constant violator whom she must appease. There is no maternal mentor around her at all. She's deeply traumatized and depressed and trapped. She keeps trying to return herself to that previous state of self, if only through recreating her friendship with Rhaenrya. How is this child supposed to find the emotional resources to bond with the children she had no choice in birthing?

Then Rhaenyra's betrayal robs her of even any illusion of support from that end and her father's departure removes his remnants of protection, company and control. It's an implosion, and we see her make the choice to find a new self. The green dress moment.

So somewhere in the off-screen period following, she also takes control - as far as she can - of her relationship with her children. She - their traumatized teenaged biological mother - chooses to be their protector because there is no adult around who will do it. And it is hard. There is no ease in it. The one child she could have a blueprint for (Helaena) is neurodivergent and speaks an entirely different emotional language. The boys struggle with patriarchy from the male perspective, she finds it difficult to access and regulate that sphere. But she tries. She really tries to find ways to relate to them and to apply her own values, her own identity. This is where we see her true self. Through trying she comes to truly love them. But she can't just compensate for everything wrong. She can't compensate for Viserys's neglect, she can't compensate for the years it took her to form an adult identity, she can't compensate for the toxicity of their society and she can't compensate for the danger they all live in. There are rifts of disconnect and pain and miscommunication. She is their mother but she is a mother with visible flaws and limitations who cannot protect them as she tries and they know it. It removes her from a pedestal of serenity and calm authority that this Identity(tm) is supposed to have. So there is more loneliness in it, more failure, a lot of frustration and struggle. But it's open struggle and it is genuine care and I find it deeply compelling. I find it more honest and genuine than any other parent-child relationship in the show.

[sprunklingaskandrp]

Sprunkling AU - Family Facts!

Hey y'all! Here's some lore for my AU, regarding the Sprunkling's families/relatives!

Oren and Simon live with Mr Maroon, who takes care of them. When they landed in Mr Maroon's backyard after falling to Earth, he felt bad for them and decided to let them stay in his house. He takes care of them, and Simon and Oren even refer to him as "Papa" or "Daddy" sometimes.

Raddy lives with his father. His father has a bit of a short fuse and is impatient with Raddy. As a result, Raddy became a playground bully to vent his frustration and feel a bit more "in control", as no one taught him how to control his emotions.

Clukr lives with his grandparents, who are both computer scientists. They're not too sure what to think of Garnold (since he's from a poor household), but they don't mind their grandson hanging out with him because it makes Clukr happy.

Vineria lives with her two older brothers, Thorn (10) and Fern (8). They're both VERY protective of Vineria, they'll always be there to support their little sister.

Gray is an only child who lives with his mom and dad. They love their son, and they're glad to see he has found a best friend in Wenda since they were worried about him being lonely.

Brud doesn't have any parents. He lives in a muddy swamp and seems good there.

Garnold comes from a poor family and has many brothers and sisters. His father spent all the money he could find to buy Garnold his visor. Garnold vows that he'll grow up to be an inventor, and use the money he earns from his inventions to pay his father back and give his family the life they were robbed of.

OWACKX used to live in a hostile and neglectful environment, but when the conditions of the home and the allegation of child abuse were brought up with the police, he was sent to live with a new foster mother, who I'll call Mary. Now, Mary is trying all that she can to support her son while he adjusts to his new home.

Sky randomly showed up on Mr Maroon's front porch. He was found abandoned in a bassinet with no indication of where his parents were. So, as with Simon and Oren, Mr Maroon took Sky under his wing.

Durple lives in a cave with 6 older brothers, all of them being the colors of the rainbow. They look like Durple, only bigger and with sharper fangs and claws. His mother and father aren't very affectionate with him, and his brothers often bully and tease him to try to get him to "toughen up"

Tunner lives with his uncle, aunt, and his 3 cousins. One of them is very young, while the other two are older than him. Tunner loves all his cousins and enjoys taking care of his baby cousin.

Wenda lives with her two siblings, Max and Sarah, and her mother, Fiona. Max and Sarah tend to avoid Wenda because she's overly clingy and wants to do everything they do, and Fiona is too busy with work to spend time with her, so she often plays alone. The only person in her family who pays any attention to her is her cousin

Knowing rabbits can have up to 7 babies at a time, Pinki has many brothers and sisters that she lives with in a burrow. She has more brothers than sisters, so she's fussed over a lot--

Jevin, well, I haven't thought of anything for him yet XD

Like Brud, Abby doesn't have any family. She resides in a pond near Mr Maroon's preschool.

And that's all of em!

[vasito-de-leche]

;R1999 PAVIA - General Headcanons

Compilation of headcanons and analysis on Pavia as a character and other related things.

the post about Pavia's love languages and how he shows his affection got a lot of love, so I'm doing a lil more thinking into his character to rlly flesh out how I see and write him before getting to write the second part of that post <3

just a heads up, its preeeetty fucking long. but all of my posts tend to be lmfao

On the subject of Pavia, loneliness and trauma.

In this post talked about the concept of showing affection (not exclusively romantic but just in general) and the relationship Pavia has with his reputation, both as a lone wolf and a skilled mercenary, which affect the way he interacts with those he might deem close for better and for worse. So it's only fair that I do that again in a more general context.

Let's get this out of the way. One cannot talk about Pavia without mentioning or alluding to his solitary lifestyle in some way or another, we've all read his 02 Story, but to only read him as someone who fakes this aura of confidence and who feels deeply insecure and lonely 24/7 is an obvious disservice to his character.

Pavia is defined by a strong sense of self which, yes, originates from isolation and neglect. And you may read this as an active choice for survival, a coping and defense mechanism or the natural progress of someone who has had no one to rely on but themself - all of these readings are valid and can easily coexist! But I would like to insist that Pavia as we know him is confident and comfortable in his own skin, happy to live as an outlier to conventional norms and behaviour.

And that's because he's weaponized loneliness into a strength and a shield. He's outgrown that small, neglected child in the basement.

Hell, in his interview with Pandora Wilson, he mentions the fun of "causing pain" onto others, in the context of his presence being used as a "punishment" for others. He's surrounded by people he considers stupid, and he has fun at their expense when they try to bring him into their shenanigans. Pavia is a confident asshole, it is not a façade for a sad boy.

One quote in particular comes to mind when discussing this aspect of Pavia.

Go back to Rome, where the wolves were born. Said my former boss. He knew I was born in Rome, but didn't know I was raised in Piemonte. He was such a fool, even tried to kill me. So I only kept his tie clip. I didn't tell him that as long as the night will come, everywhere I live is Piemonte.

This line in particular, from my reading on it, speaks volumes about how Pavia has reclaimed the night - alluding to the one place he was forced to live in for his entire childhood, a dark and isolated basement, the concept of loneliness itself - as something that defines him and should inspire fear into others. His wolves are made out of darkness, his Ultimate in-game shows him manifesting out of a dark fog on the ground. And the context of that quote is hostile, it's Pavia's former boss telling him to go back to Rome, and Pavia mentioning that no matter where he goes, as long as the night comes, he's home.

One could argue that the quote is meant to be read differently - instead of Pavia reclaiming something that hurt him to now empower him, he's haunted by it. No matter where he goes, he'll always be in Piemonte, in that dark and isolated basement, with no one to pull him out. And that's fair! To each their own, both are banger readings on that dialogue. I just personally think the former fits better with the character as a whole.

The former reading is also supported by his 02 Story, where he describes the wolves that his Arcanum abilities manifested as "friends he found in the darkness and would never leave him".

One wolf hid behind another, and the pack surrounded him in the darkness of the night. They held each other's heads and tails and coiled together like snakes, bringing with them warmth and restful sleep. These were the friends he found in the darkness, ones who would never abandon or leave him, and who would forever watch over him.

In his Cover profile, his Afflatus is also "Mourning of the Feral Pack [Beast] Night View".

And when you check Pavia's small description in the Role Garment menu, his main garment and the one unlocked at Insight II form the following phrase:

He's always alone, both in the basement and on the street. It doesn't matter now, though. He will never be "alone" from now on.

His Afflatus, his Arcanum abilities, every small detail - everything points towards Pavia owning the night and the darkness that used to hurt him so much as a child. Because it cannot hurt him now that he's made friends with it, in the form of shadow wolves who will never leave him. He's not stuck here with you, you're stuck him with him. (that Insight II quote will be relevant again later when I talk about the lack of? Humanity? so to speak? in Pavia's character)

But anyway! This doesn't mean that the discussion on Pavia and loneliness/isolation should stop there.

After all, his Afflatus also says "Mourning of the Feral Pack" - mourn what exactly? A lost childhood? The family he could've had if his mother hadn't been admitted to an asylum? The young and innocent child that died in that basement so that the current Pavia could exist?

Who knows! Talk about it, it's fun and I love to read other people's takes! <3

On the subject of trauma specifically, I do see Pavia as someone who lives in the present and doesn't think much about the past - he only mentions his parents once in a seemingly disinterested manner, stating that he never visited (and most likely will never visit) his mother. Piemonte is where his abusive aunt raised him, but he shows a certain pride in his city anyway.

It's not that he's overcome and healed from his trauma, it's that he doesn't even register the things that happened to him as traumatic experiences due to the distance and recontextualization of everything.

The fandom portrayal of Pavia as a deeply lonely person often comes hand in hand with him being touchstarved and the experience of feeling any semblance of genuine human connection for the very first time - but I would like to offer an alternative, explained in the next bullet point.

On the subject of Pavia, conventional society and his pack of wolves.

Pavia's official description, as seen in this tweet made by the official global account of the game, is the following:

An independent mercenary lacking in collaborative skills. Employers are content with his excellent abilities, but can't stand his work ethic of ignoring his coworkers.

This, along with his other quotes and the interview with UTTU, point towards how the world sees Pavia as a nuisance of sorts - a punishment, we know this - but it also points towards Pavia's rejection of conventional society.

The way Pavia behaves, the way he insists on maintaining the barrier between himself and conventional society, the pleasure he takes in making others suffer just by BEING THERE NEXT TO THEM, the stress he puts into being alone - it leads me to think that THIS is the result of his trauma.

It's not a deep seated loneliness, it's not yearning and secretly wishing for genuine connections, it's not a fear of the dark or enclosed spaces - it's an absolute and total rejection of the world that failed him.

Pavia cannot feel or grasp loneliness on the same level as other characters might because there is not a single person in this world he would rather spend his time with other than himself. The details of how he got out of the basement and began a life of crime haven't been revealed yet, so I won't theorize about it, but I like to think that everything that Pavia is and represents is one big "fuck you" to a world that left him to rot in that basement.

It all loops back to the previous point - by rejecting mankind and society as a whole, Pavia becomes the opposite: a beast who acts on his own accord rather than the rules that make up polite society. And in doing so, grows closer to himself and his pack. In doing so, he allows his humanity to slowly slip away.

The Insight II quote I mentioned before is a great example of this - the change in his sprites shows Pavia's eyes changing, now with black sclera and sharper teeth, darkness (and two of his wolves) surrounding him. He will never be "alone" from now on because he is now ONE of the pack, because this is where he belongs.

The medium for his Arcanum (not the "wand" used to cast spells and magic, those are different things from what I understand) is "Beast Teeth". Compare this with other characters: Zima's medium are poems, Dikke's medium is the law, Sonetto's medium is curiosity. An arcanist's medium seems to be a concept or object that represents who they are and what they believe in, something that is essential to their life and dear to their core. Pavia's is beast teeth. He's a beast Arcanist.

I like to think that Pavia based his behaviour, knowingly or not, on his pack of wolves. After all, he's the one who conjured them, it makes sense to me that he would subconsciously latch onto them. This would explain his more animalistic traits that show just how disconnected Pavia is from what a regular human being should be.

You guys freak me out when you sleep. What kind of people needs such a long sleep like that? Fall in a coma like a crispy critter, and wake up 8 hours later. …Only god knows how you can do that.

This dialogue implies that Pavia cannot wrap his head around a normal sleeping schedule - which is extremely ironic, considering that wolves sleep a LOT. But I'd attribute this more to the dissonance between him and conventional society than Pavia trying to larp as a wolf. We have to understand that he spent most of his days sleeping away the hunger, that he went on to reject the company of other people - it makes sense to me that he wasn't taught or didn't get to see how a normal person should behave in theory.

Despite this rejection, we can clearly see that Pavia enjoys a very hedonistic life - going on clubs, having a sweet tooth, wearing fancy clothes, shopping, films and whatnot (He's literally wearing Louboutins, guys. The soles of his shoes are RED). He plays the role of mercenary quite well, too. But it doesn't strike me as a writing inconsistency or hypocrisy from his part, Pavia is known for doing whatever he wants, one of his hand tattoos spells "LIBERTA" or freedom in italian, so this tracks. It's hard to be a hypocrite when your moral compass is all about being a wildcard.

I mentioned this in my first Pavia post, but the items attributed to him are all said to be cheap, fake or crudely hand-made.

His glasses are a copy of an actual Italian brand that no one would ever think of mistaking for the real thing, his bracelets and rings are dented and damaged, Pandora Wilson even goes as far as calling it junk. They even describe his earrings as rough workmanship. And yet, Pavia brags about his clothes and enjoys shopping. There's that small dissonance again - he enjoys bragging but does not know (or care) about the actual value or authenticity of his material possessions. (Pavia wears fake Louboutins, this is my headcanon, thanks for coming)

He plays the role of mercenary quite well, too. I'd also argue that the more violent aspects of his personality have to do with his line of work. This tweet confirms the majority of Pavia's tattoos and what they say - the one on his arm is "La Cosa Nuova", the sicilian mafia for those who didn't know. I won't go in-depth about the real life actions of such group, but it's clear that Pavia is or has been part of it within the world of Reverse: 1999.

Entering headcanon territory.

The two bullet points from before were mostly just analysis on how I read Pavia based on all evidence in-game, but now I get to talk about personal headcanons I have about him <3

I've explained pretty much everything I wanted to say about Pavia for now, so these are just gonna be rapid fire headcanons.

First of all, Pavia is a light sleeper.

The lightest sleeper you'll ever meet, even a soft whisper could wake him up - but this isn't because of some hidden fear of waking up back in his aunt's basement. Because he had nothing to focus on but the sounds within that basement, he greatly developed his hearing and his Insight II development further heightened his senses. Pavia is used to dark, silent spaces, so any unknown noise will put him on edge and wake him up. Sometimes, he pretends to sleep to get out of doing work.

Contrary to popular belief, he doesn't move at ALL when sleeping and tends to stay in the same position throughout the night.

This is something he learned, rather than something that comes naturally, because he tends to sleep with the pack and there's little space to move without accidentally kicking Andrea or Leon in the face.

Next. Pavia doesn't know that he resembles his mother a lot.

As for his mother, there are two possibilities: One, she's truly dead and he doesn't know, based on his 02 Story where his aunt confirms that Pavia's mother died a few years later, as well as Pavia's dialogue in which he talks about his mother as if she were alive. Two, she was alive the whole time and Pavia found out years later that she was committed to an asylum and his dialogue about his parents is correct.

Regardless, I like to think that he never saw her again once he was taken into his aunt's care, and that she never told him that the reason she put him in that basement was because he looks so similar to her "deceased" sister. Since they weren't there to raise him and he didn't hear anything about them from his aunt, Pavia holds no resentment and no love towards his parents, because they're total strangers to him.

Next. His wolves' names are interchangeable.

Pavia cares for his pack, and the wolves care for him in return - they were created for that very reason after all. Their dynamic and relationship is a mystery to everyone and it's much too complex to even put into words, but because they're still magical constructs he creates, their behaviour and individuality relies heavily on Pavia's skills as an Arcanist.

There are days in which it's very easy to confuse them, and there are days when it's very obvious how to tell them apart. He's had years to perfect them, to "raise" them if you will.

While the pack might not be around 24/7, they're always in the back of his mind. He can also communicate with them because of it. They don't mind if Pavia confuses them, but if someone else does it? Prepare to get bitten to death, I guess!

[baldurs-writers-3]

Budding Friendships: A Baldur's Gate 3 Rec List

This week, we have Budding Friendships!  Check under the cut for eight amazing fics showing our favorite characters bonding and growing to trust each other, and as always, comment and kudos if you like them!

Short Rest by AbigailMoment (1828, General) Warnings: fantastic racism (anti tieflings) Pairings: N/A

Gale, Karlach, Wyll and Tav take a rest and get to know each other and help each other

Reccer says: i liked the multiple disabilities angle and them working together to make things easier for each other, offering advice and being supportive

one day you'll figure me out by new_space (3640, Teen) Warnings: Canon Typical Violence Pairings: Astarion & Friends

Astarion gets shot by a poisoned arrow and decides it's a great idea to try to keep it a secret from his new companions. His friends do not appreciate this.

Reccer says: This whole series is full of delicious team bonding and well written developing friendships, but I'm always a sucker for whump, so I had to rec this one primarily.

stars growing brighter by hermitized (3478, General) Warnings: None Pairings: Gale & Halsin, Gale & Tav

when Gale's orb stops taking treatment but before meeting Elminster, Halsin offers some comfort and kindness

Reccer says: it's so soft! i love Gale having to explain his situation to a new person all over again, and Halsin figuring out everybody's deal, and there's best boy scratch too!

Metamorphose by baozisdragon (1317, General) Warnings: None Pairings: Astarion & Wyll

Astarion doesn't seem to like Wyll all that much, and Wyll would like to know why

Reccer says: This is an absolutely delightful exploration of the hero/unsaved conflict and I love it

Expectations by yellow_craion (7526, Teen) Warnings: None Pairings: Wyll & Tav, Wyll & Halsin, Wyll & Gale & Karlach

A few days after joining Tav and their party of adventurers and sparing Karlach's life, Wyll gets a fever. He's surprised when others are serious about taking care of him.

Reccer says: has everybody being protective of Wyll, all the longing and touch starvation, and a look at Wyll's lonely past

how you tried to hide in darkness by prettyaveragewhiteshark (1947, General) Warnings: N/A Pairings: Lae'zel & Shadowheart

Just a semi-fluffy little one-shot of Shadowheart at camp, dealing with her Shar wound and finding comfort from an unexpected source.

Reccer says: This fic does a great job at capturing Shadowheart's voice and tone, as well as an unexpectedly sweet moment around the campfire at camp.

Broken Little Puppets by BlackjackKent (1797, General) Warnings: N/A (Mentions of each character's past abuse) Pairings: N/A

Karlach supports Astarion after a nightmare about Cazador's ritual - and gets a little support herself in return.

Reccer says: This is an excellent, short and sweet one shot exploring the relationship between Karlach and Astarion. Draws some great parallels between the two by comparing their histories and their thoughts about their abusers.

My Friend, the Bhaalspawn by nyepexeren (36460, Mature) Warnings: Graphic Descriptions of Violence/Childhood Abuse Pairings: Tav & Durge

This childhood/found family fic is set in an orphanage traces the tale of Tav and Durge, and features child abuse/neglect alongside realistic pathways to recovery.

Reccer says: In addition to being well-written and true to character, writing realistic children, the fic builds in a growing mystery that keeps readers enthralled.

The above fanfic recommendations were pulled from our community for this weekly event. Have any questions about what this is? Check out the FAQ!

Next week, we’ll be back with another character rec list, this time focusing on Astarion!

[cloud-navi]

⚠️ spoilers ⚠️

My thoughts on:

Camp Cretaceous season one

Darius

Feels pretty basic, not bad. Understandable feelings of grief from his dad.

Kenji

Loud enough to hear considered obnoxious, but I counter that with: Daddy issues (obvious from the start, very happy they pulled that around for season 2 and Chaos Theory).

Darius and Kenji

In episodes 1 and 2 they both get in trouble and Darius takes the blame for it after Kenji admits that all he’s really done/wanted was to make his dad proud. Darius gets angry because Kenji “lied” about wanting to make his dad proud, but really, thats not a lie. Kenji, (assumption) is likely an only child, with no mention of his mom, and his dad is extremely neglectful and manipulative. Only showing attention to Kenji when he wants something from his son, or use him as a tool as seen in season five. Kenji didn’t lie about wanting to make his dad proud, making his dad proud get him the attention that he rightfully deserves a human being and as a child. lonely children like Kenji tend to act out because they want the attention that they aren’t getting when they need it, attention is very important during development and neglect leaves emotional scars and affect how they behave. I think Darius, as an adolescent didn’t quite understand that point of view because he sees Kenji, how Kenji wants Darius to see him. Overly confident, laidback, cool. So Darius, who also had a wonderful relationship with his dad, didn’t have the insight of “Lack of parental support/attention = Lack of self-worth/masking as someone cooler then (they think) themself even if that means a few lies.” Except, he didn’t lie. His mask cracked, he told the truth. Anyone with neglectful parents can tell you, before you start resenting your parents neglectfulness, you resent yourself for “not being good enough,” blaming yourself, just wanting to make them proud (✋).

Because his behavior stems from neglect, it also dictates the way he’s acting in season five, which is some thing the other characters seem to struggle with understanding and having empathy. Darius and Ben are probably the youngest in the group, so they may not pick up on those signals, They should still be in developing their empathy and understanding other peoples experiences than a five year old. Out of all of the main characters, I only give Brooklyn a pass. it feels really shitty that your friend is doing some thing that y’all are all against and have been against for almost a year, but you need to understand. They are not focusing that they are focusing on getting some thing they have been deprived of since they were young (parental love, and engagement), which is a very valid reason to have tunnel vision. I also don’t like how Mai the researcher in season five, didn’t point it out to them in a way that they would understand Kenji‘s position, but I also don’t remember if she had the chance to. Will come back to that later.

Ben

Literally my favorite cinnamon roll baby in season one, I adore his relationship to bumpy. Ump is a fucking angel. And I like how they bring a few of the seasons down to the wire with bumpy near the crossfire. It’s a good way to keep bumpy as a main side character.

Yasmina

Also kind of flat, not much to say. She’s more introverted doesn’t talk to people as much doesn’t like to be on camera, really shy, with trust issues. I understand why she feels betrayed when she finds out Sammy did lie, but also for her age (15) I think it’s both reasonable and irrational for her to lack in understanding and having empathy as to why Sammy was doing what she did. Reasonable for her to feel that way, considering she has issues with trust. But also irrational to disregard Sammy’s motive for what was happening. 

Brooklyn

Not many notes on Brooklyn either, though it’s clear that she also hasn’t had much real social interaction, considering her whole career started since she was like 10 (mentioned in season two) so she hasn’t had much real socialization outside of the Internet. I understand why she’s angry with Sammy when her phone is taken, and when it is proven after everyone has told her to shut up about it so many times before. However, just like Yasmina, I think she needs to chill out with blaming Sammy. You might not have known why at the time, but what Sammy was doing was pretty understandable in my opinion based on her character and what her experience. Being upset was reasonable, but blaming Sammy for the events at Isla and not being able to get off the island, was completely irrational considering who do you think was gonna pick up the phone? Do you think they were going to get there in time? Do you think they would Believe the probability of their survival was high enough that they would send a team when there was a huge evacuation of an giant park and you weren’t even at the park. I think they’re being unreasonable at the time, it’s not like Phone would’ve charged enough, or the fact that when the island lost power, it’s a no fly zone and there is no service (revealed season 2).

Sammy

I can see why she could be considered obnoxious, but more so just allowed and bubbly person. I like Sammy I can understand her motive, and what she was doing, if I believed in myself that much to complete those tasks, I would do it too. In her position, her family was on the verge of losing their farm so they got a loan that ended up being really bad people, and left them with the only choice of losing their livelihood or using their daughter as a spy. Sammy has a large heart, and clearly a lot of self assurance, to rationalize her actions based on her motive. Regardless of what was happening on the island I would not be able to stay mad at Sammy. Because when you boil it down, Sammy‘s tasks would not have hurt anyone by her doing. Anything after getting the samples and information going to Manta Cor, would have been Manta Cor’s fault because it was in charge the information. Sammy‘s motives were completely out of love for her family.

Sidenote, when they are in the field in the gyrospheres, I kinda think that was completely on the kids being idiots. Brooklyn and Darius were completely at fault for nearly dying, just as much as every other person was except for Sammy. None of them listened to the person with actual experience, herding animals. Up until Jurassic Park and then Jurassic World, the books that Darius has are probably all just theorized behaviors, it would have been more valuable to listen to someone (Sammy) that has EXPERIENCE herding herbivores. Just saying.



[witch-sweets]

Are the oc asks still open. If so can I ask abt some characters I only remember a bit by name, Syi and Vanessa(?)

oki so uhh Tumblr crashed when I tried answering it before so uhhhh-

Anyways ye! oc asks r still open also this reminded me I haven't done a proper introduction post 4 all my goobers so uh here :3

Syi

Funne haunted mad scientist robot Syi is the result of me taking all my favorite character tropes, design traits, a backstory based on one of my favorite songs, she was designed to be to sort of opposite to my favorite character ever

Basically Syi is the favorite goober and I pour all my love and teenage angst into her

Lavender "Stein"

Lavender is definitely not related to Syi whatsoever I have no idea what your talking about

OK in all seriousness I can't say too much about Lavender cuz I might spoil me and my friends oc lore but all you need to know is that she struggled with a lot of mental health issues and was incredibly self sacrificial to an unhealthy degree

Carol Cornflower (Carrie for short :3)

Carol is the lone survivor of a tragic event and suffers from ptsd thankfully she has a group of supportive friends (and a girlfriend) to help her out!

Once again can't say too much about Carol due to the risk of spoiling me and my friends oc stuff but she's was based off of my experience with paranoia and ptsd (she also had a crush on the aro/ace lady and she had no idea she was aro/ace until after said aro/ace lady died-)

Harriet The Lucky Hare

Based off of big fancy Casinos and magic shows Harriet is a charming individual who isnt hiding anything

She's kinda neglected because I find the robot sillier but I still love her (Also she has a crush on the empress)

Cheshire

an OC I haven't really talked about on here Cheshire is a fairly young child who was raised in an unfortunate situation and after jumping into a vat of toxic ooze became a slime who was infected with an evil disease afterwards filled with spite she now roams the halls of the abandoned laboratory vowing vengeance upon the one who infected her however she is still a child and she isn't too far gone sooo FOUND FAMILY HELPS HER YIPPEEEEE

Cheshire is basically the OC-ification of Cyn from Murder Drones based on some of my old headcanons from when episode 5 first released

PhoboFuwa (placeholder name) cast

MY SILLY PHOBIA MAGICAL GIRLS!1!1!1!

I need to work on redoing their lore and finishing up their redesigns but other than that feel free to ask me things so I can figure out their character traits better

(Credit for Thalassa's design goes to my amazing bestie @mothhue you should check out their acc they make really good art :3)

And finally

Scoops/Sparky

Walking spoiler and giant King Candy/Turbo reference

And uhhh thats it

(For now... >:3)

Feel free to ask questions about any of these goobers :3

[neonmetro]

Late night autism devil strikes again and I've been one sucker for Deco and Eve lately and have been thinking about their relationship a lot as well......so, there is nothing better than I can do then analyze these two characters to my understanding/j please feel free to correct anything I say as I love to have deeper understandings of the characters I love !!! I would hate to butcher your ocs.......

I would like to talk about the stories of Deco and Eve first. As you mentioned before, Deco grew up with all the comfortabilites they could ever want, all of them accept for one comfortability that most children require, love. Deco had a lot of things, but love seemed not to be one of them. Children tend to, and most likely, will remember the people and things that were with and there for them. And it weighs I huge tole. Children will obviously get extremely lonely and, in some cases, will prefer love from people rather than physical items. I think it that sense, Deco and Eve are the same. From what I can see, Eve's parents aren't really in the picture nor very supportive. And since Eve is a child, someone's love is important. Though unlike Deco, it seemed they don't have comfortabilites as well as the love of a parental guardian of some sort. Comparing Deco and Eve's stories in this way allows leway to analyze their relationship with each other and how intune or "interlinked" they are.

To me, Deco and Eve are capable of understanding each other on a personal and almost out of this world level due to their similarities that can also be seen as differences ( though sense they are teens and still maturing this doesn't apply just yet ). If they tried, they could almost view each other the same. When I look at their relationship, I see a relationship that can sit on the line between romantic ( if you can even call it that ) and platonic. Being able to value each other's relationship and company without putting a "label" on what exactly they mean to each other. They just simply exist with one another, almost peacefully. Because they are possibly capable of understanding each other to a personal level, they can rely on each other. Which, I would assume they rely on each other in PO a lot. Seeing only each other in this badshit crazy of a world. It's kinda like the blind leading the blind, but they are having fun with it :) it seems to me, even when they don't realize it. They can always help each other in some way. Whether it's cheering each other up, helping each other physically, or mentally. Overall these two tend to be more "free" with each other if that makes sense ?

And although their older selves aren't Canon, it's an interesting and fun thing to think about. How their perspectives and experiences grow, the more indepth their insight of each other and their relationship becomes. So I would like to ask a question ( and it's okay if you don't have an answer !!!! ) Would their perspectives of each other change as their personality does ? Not just as best friends but also as people ? Seeing how much each other has not only changed but have also grown and still be able to keep such a tight bond with each other. Would they be able to understand each other on a deeper level now that they've matured ?

Sorry that this ask is all Deco and Eve based 😭😭😭 ( also, sorry if there are any typing errors.... ) I do find them as two characters genuinely interesting. Especially with how good they parallel each other to a degree of being mirrored ( if that makes sense ). PLEASE !!!!!! have a wonderful day / night, Neon !!!!! You're awesome :) 🩷🩷🩷🩷

-Paris anon

THE LATE NIGHT AUTISM DEMON COMES FOR ALL AND LEAVES NO WITNESSES BEHIND... sorry paris anon for the late response it's been a busy couple of days for me :')

BUT YEAH YOU'VE GOT IT MOSTLY CORRECT!!!!

both deco and eve were neglected as children and were able to get into some dark places (the internet/the magical girl industry)... deco mainly coped through copious amounts of consumerism while eve has mostly repressed and ignored a lot of it (with their parasite vagabond forcing them to really address a large portion of it)

i am slightly adjusting their relationship to reassemble more of a rivalry seen in a magical girl shows/comics though, they still do rely on each other since they're both in very similar situations/places in life, just with diff backgrounds (this was mostly changed bc it kinda felt like eve was getting dragged around by deco a little too much ? due to their codependency in their roles in the narrative rather than their relationship if that makes sense)

i'm writing them to have a very close relationship where they understand one another purposefully to allow for some interpretation on whether or not their relationship is romantic or familial (OBVIOUSLY not at the same time. i will eat your face if you interpret both at the same time) or platonic, but since they now have a friendly rivalry, they just encourage and uplift one another. showing one another that yes, it's difficult and you won't understand the world, but it eventually does become ok and you won't be alone forever.

even though their perspectives do change slightly as they get older, i think their core beliefs are still the same (idk i'm just a sucker for someone who is still very much the same person no matter what happens to them, whether that shines through their personality or outlook)

deco believes you trying to being your most authentic best is the best thing to strive through and eve still believes there will always be people who like and dislike you and its ok

i think they have drifted apart as they got older, they're both striving for different things and paths but it still doesn't negate the innate understanding they have one another and they're still able to meet up once and awhile for coffee while talking like no time has past

BUT YAYYY!!! I'M SO HAPPY THAT YOU LIKE THEM SO MUCH!!! they're absolutely foils to one another and i just think that's beautiful... two magical girls they can make it if they try

thank YOU!!! YOU HAVE A GOOD DAY/NIGHT PARIS ANON !!!

[brokentoys]

Riddler was shown to be neglected and abused in the comics. Neglected by an alcoholic mother, and often beaten by a violent father. He was also abused by his father in The Batman 2004 series.

In comics, especially the "Solitaire" one, Eddie's been shown to be mistreated by the workers at Arkham Asylum. During Knightfall, he even confronted one that told him he'll never be sane, and he's been stated as "incurable" by Harleen before.

In the Animated Series, Eddie becomes the Riddler because he was used by his corporation and cheated out of money. We rarely ever see Riddler around any of the other villains. Other than once in trial, he doesn't seem particularly close to them or anyone for that matter.

In Gotham City Sirens, when Eddie was suffering with guilt, paranoia, insecurity, and his unwell conscience trying to convince him to return to the Riddler - it was being used by his friends (the Sirens) that really breaks him. (Until Tony Daniels stepped in with Detective Comics/Batman, but I refuse to acknowledge those horrible comics)

In The Batman 2022, Riddler grew up in an abusive orphanage, which led him to feel as though the government had failed him.

In Detective Comics Annual #8, Riddler goes on about how neglected he was, how he was bullied, and nobody cared, and also finally admits that he isn't just a criminal, but still that lonely child wanting love. In Zero Year, Batman points out in similar fashion that Riddler just wants attention. Riddler also mentions having a "thug father" in that same comic.

Riddler was also abused by his father in the Arkham series. The way he speaks about Batman in City sounds very similar to his father, then Arkham Knight confirms that Riddler projects his father on to Batman by literally saying, "Die, father!" during his boss fight. Riddler also starts out similar to Batman 2022 Riddler by wanting to expose the corruption of the government.

Whenever Eddie reforms, be it the Animated Series universe, or the general comics - almost everybody rejects Eddie. He rarely receives support even when he's being genuine, and he's told that he'll just "go back to his ways" and that he'll never be "good." Even when other reforming rogues receive more support than Eddie.

Eddie highly likely developed NPD due to excessive abuse and neglect throughout his childhood. He had no friends back then, and now his NPD keeps him from getting more.

What I'm saying is that, almost always, Eddie is a tragically mistreated and lonely character - and not only during his childhood, either. In many incarnations, Eddie is usually abused, used, or mistreated in severe ways that are almost always the reason that pushes him over the edge and inspires him to become the Riddler. What's even sadder is that Eddie has acknowledged how painful the loneliness is - yet he gets no help. It makes me sad, but it also makes him so fascinating. Though, it's a shame that nobody really acknowledges the lonely tragedy that's Edward Nigma - and instead, just goes on about how he's "uninteresting" or "too wacky."

[innocentcurse]

Walking through the picturesque streets of Cardinal Hill, you find Dorothy Prior, the 24 year old Plinth Family Drugs clerk originally from Cardinal Hill, WA. Living alongside them in such a small town, you know that they're charming and scatterbrained, but what you might not know is that they are a witch, and that they’re hiding something… ― Havana Rose Liu, bisexual, woman, and she/her.

Content warnings - death.

Basics -

Full name: Dorothy Florence Prior

Nickname/s: Dot, Dottie

Preferred name/s: Dorothy, Dot by certain people

Gender: Woman

Pronouns: She/her

Age: Twenty-four

Birthday: October 31st

Zodiac: Scorpio

Magic status: Magical, a witch

Sexuality: Bisexual

Relationship status: In a relationship with Elias Schwartz

Occupation: Clerk at Plinth Family Drugs

Hometown: Cardinal Hill, WA

Familiar: Herb, the black ball python

Backstory -

Dorothy was the only good thing to come from her mother's second marriage, or so her mother always says. She was her mother's fourth daughter, and her father's only child, though it didn't take long for him to remove himself from her life.

Her mother and her sisters - along with Dorothy herself - were all witches, though her father was not. Her mother had neglected to tell Dorothy's father about their magical status, but he eventually had to find out when Dorothy's oldest sister began showing signs of her powers.

Upon finding out about the truth, Dorothy's father felt betrayed. After a dramatic incident between the two parents, Dorothy's father walked out, and her mother vowed to never love a human again.

Her mother's third husband - a witch, much like her perfect, late first husband - gave Dorothy two little sisters, both witches like the rest of them.

Despite having a lot of love in her life, Dorothy couldn't help but feel so different from her family, which made her feel so incredibly lonely. It extended to more than the fact that her father was Chinese, making her look vastly different from her sisters, though that certainly didn't help.

Dorothy felt like she constantly found herself struggling through something new, but she managed to get along just fine, particularly because her sisters had always been her best friends - no matter how she felt about her family - and they had her back.

Content warning - death. She was fortunate to have her family, and later on, many friends and a few significant others. Unfortunately, her first serious relationship ended abruptly after the death of her girlfriend, and that was when the support from her family really saved her.

The death was what inspired Dorothy to get into forensic science; she often wished that she could find out the cause for the unexpected and unexplained death, and that thought fuelled her studies that took place on the other side of the country.

It was while at college that she met a boy who gave her more support and love than she thought was possible; Elias was perfect in every way - almost every way, at least.

Unfortunately, Elias was a human, and Dorothy's family - particularly her mother - weren't so fond of non-magical humans. Dorothy couldn't blame her mom after how badly her father had hurt her by leaving, but she also couldn't stop herself from falling in love with Elias.

The couple decided to move to Cardinal Hill, back to Dorothy's coven of sisters, after they both graduated. Out of fear, Dorothy neglected to let her family know that she was seeing a human, and she also neglected to tell Elias that she was a witch.

While her family had to find out about Elias sooner or later, Dorothy has managed to keep the fact that she's a witch from Elias all this time. The guilt sometimes really gets to her, but after watching what happened between her parents, and after finding someone who she finally felt so right with, she's so afraid of losing Elias.

Personality & more -

Dorothy is one of the kindest people you'll meet, though she often leans on the reserved side and often needs the other person to initiate conversation.

She certainly struggles a lot with her mental health and image, but in general, Dorothy has always managed to remain a relatively upbeat; she's quite a big joker, and she loves adventures and spontaneity.

The support and opinions of others mean everything to her, to an admittedly problematic extent - though her mother would never guess the fact based off of how alternatively Dorothy can oftentimes dress.

Dorothy is definitely a little edgy and alternative in certain ways, such as her music taste and style. The Closet has always been one of her favourite spots.

Despite thriving in her forensic science studies, Dorothy struggled to get into the field due to personal reservations. She tells everyone that the plan is to move from the drug store into a 'real profession' one day, but for now she's comfortable using her excessive pharmaceutical knowledge for a clerk.

[neodracunyan]

The Perfect One|Yandere!Wednesday's Infidelity AUs x Male!Human-ish!Reader

Bio + Reader Info

Reader Info

Y/n - Your Name

L/n - Last Name

N/n - Nickname

E/c - E/c Name

F/c - Favorite (Fur) Color

F/f - Favorite Food

F/d - Favorite Drink

F/s - Favorite Sweets

M/n - Mom Name

D/n - Dad Name

Reader Bio

Name: Y/n L/n

Alias: The Perfect Child, Mouse Freak, Rabbit Boy, Cat Face, N/n

Age: 7

Sex: Male

Species: Human/Toon Hybrid (Mouse, Rabbit, Cat Toons)

Personality: (Normal & When he's around friends) Sweet, Caring, Friendly, Polite, Happy, Supportive, Kind-Hearted, Comforting

(When he is stressed out or depressed): Suicidal (Not all of the time), Upset, Livid, Depressed, Lonely

Friends: Michael Theodore (Freakazoid Mouse), Oscar Reynolds (Weirdo Rabbit), Helix Fang (Bad-Luck Kitty), Marcus Mouse (Vs. Mouse Mod), Marko Mouse (Vs. Mouse Mod), Epic Mickey, Epic Oswald, W.I. BF, D-Side W.I. BF, W.I. GF, D-Side W.I. GF, Photo-Negative Mickey (FNATI), Oswald (FNATI), Oliver the Lucky Rabbit (D-Side Marcus Mouse), Owen (D-Side Marko Mouse), Suicidemouse.avi (SNS), Outtaluckrabbit.mov (SNS D-Side Suicidemouse.avi), Julian (Puppet Mickey) etc, Mickey (Original), Oswald the Lucky Rabbit (Original), Minnie Mouse (Original), Felix the Cat (Original), Ortensia (Original), D-Side Ortensia (D-Side Vs. Mouse), Among Us Crewmate Mickey (Mickey's Miserable Night), Mokey, The Mother (FNATI), etc.

Enemies: W.I. Mickey Mouse, W.I. Oswald the Lucky Rabbit (EuthanasiaRabbit.mov), W.I. Felix the Cat (Kill Them All Felix), W.I. Minnie Mouse (W.I. Swap AU), W.I. Ortensia (W.I. Swap AU), Psycho (Secret History) Tails (W.I. AU), Needle Mouse (Among Us Imposter W.I. Mickey), Cheddar (Sculpture Mickey), Satan (Wednesday's Infidelity), Waton (D-Side Wednesday's Infidelity), The Demoness (B3 Remix Satan), Carrots (D-Side Cheddar), Labrat Mickey, etc.

History: Y/n L/n was just a 7-year-old boy, but a special young boy as he is also part toon as his ears somehow look similar to Mickey Mouse, Oswald the Lucky Rabbit and Felix the Cat as he can shift his ears into either one of them like modeling clay.

However, he was sent the orphanage from his neglectful parents because of his appearance that make him look like a toon and he was soon picked on by the other kids at the orphanage as well as the caretakers that treated him like trash.

Then one night, Y/n had enough of being bullied at the orphanage and decided to escape the place that he called, "Home" and runs through the town of Noir City at the dead of night.

Eventually, he does his best to go through life as a Toon Hybrid that soon made him feel lonely that he has no family that would even love and care for him. Until one night, when he ran into someone that he recognized on TV, it was none other than Mickey Mouse himself as he's been dealing with some problems of his own and surprised to see someone like Y/n that is half human and half toon as he suddenly has some plans for the young child that the boy can never refuse as he plans to adopt the young toon boy as his own.

Unaware, that some of the other toons like Oswald and Felix in the black and white world want the boy as well as they planned to capture him and keep him for themselves.

What will Y/n do when he is trapped in a never-ending nightmare full of toons that wanted him as the Perfect Child to have as their own?

[sputnik-sweet-heart-blog]

2024 - first entry in a long time

Hello there. After a conversation with my friends tonight which brought back nostalgia and memories of the past, I came frantically searching for my old blogs that are still live online. I started multiple blogs since I was in primary school, and was an avid diary-writer. Sadly, because I felt it would be embarrassing for family and friends to discover and read my diary after I’m dead, I decided to throw away my physical diaries and also to close down multiple blogs, and to change my childhood email address. I was only able to recover 1 primary school blog, 3 secondary school blogs and 1 blog that I wrote when I was in my mid-20s.

it makes me sad to read what I was writing. My heart ached for my younger self. At the moment of writing this, I am 35 years old - almost 10 years since I’ve written my last post.

oh how much time has flew by! Everything seemed to have happened in the blink of an eye, yet when I really looked back, tons and tons of things and happened and I did an extraordinary amount of self growth.

life for me has improved drastically over the last 10 years and I’ve also become a totally different person.

but reading back on my posts from 10 years ago, the same feeling washed over me, as if I’m reliving the pain from those times.

after a decade of self growth, it is evident to me the reason why I was so lost in my life and unable to grow. After a decade of “investigation”, this is my conclusion.

I was born in a dysfunctional family with parents who knew and couldn’t care any less about parenting me and my siblings well. They were too busy fighting their own demons and because of that, was not able to be establish the secure relationship that every child needs. And because I lack the feeling of security, I was depressed, anxious, lonely and lost, and fell into alcohol addiction. A lifetime at the receiving end of permissive AND neglectful parenting, my world has no rules and no boundaries, it was frightening and I had to figure out everything on my own.

in my 20s, I was battling alcohol addiction and testing out boundaries the hard way. It is still painful for me to think back on the mistakes I made during that few years that has severely tarnished my reputation. But I really wish I could give the younger me a big hug and assure her that - everything will turn out okay.

in fact everything will turn out GREAT. You will go on to get married and have 2 beautiful kids. Your husband will become your pillar of support and main source of security and because you FINALLY feel secure, you were able to grow intrinsically. You love your two kids and they love you to bits. You have a great relationship with them and are actually doing a pretty great job parenting them. They’re turning out to be such loving and sweet human beings who respect you. You end up learning and growing so much with them.

You also managed to move forward in your career together with your husband and achieve your goals in the material world.

so although it was painful, everything was worth it. And what you went through in your 20s actually gave you a deeper insight of this world, and made you a multi-faceted human being.

if I could travel back in time then I would tell my younger self to play as much as you wanted and do whatever you wanted. We only live once anyway and your mistakes will shape you.

I love you and it’s okay. ❤️❤️❤️

[mechwife]

personal ramblings

so… a lot of stuff has happened this year and since ive last done any posts about myself and personal going ons and stuff

i have my own home now i guess? It’s not bought or anything. I’m renting a unit in a four-plex with my husband and my parents monumental assistance. It’s kind of weird because i’m used to living with my family and living in rural areas, but now we’re in a town and have neighbours and stuff. They seem nice though, they’re native like i am, and my husband is Hispanic so it’s nice having neighbours who are also brown.

We don’t have a whole lot. We don’t have much furniture yet, we’ve mostly been sitting on one of our carpets in front of our tv and watching movies and anime and stuff with our bunnies and eating the meals we’ve been cooking. But it’s still nice. It’s nice not living with someone who’s always angry with us or trying to dictate when or how we do things.

We were living with my aunt and her husband for about half a year this year and it was horrible. My late uncle passed away in that house, and i had a constant reminder of how much he must have suffered and all the regrets ive had about my relationship with him. I wanted to be friends with him. I wish i could have been closer to him. I wanted to grow up and for him to accept me as a person and maybe as a friend someday. I thought about him everyday and had frequent dreams of him.

Then my first bunny passed away there too, and it felt like i lost everything except my husband and my parents. ive never felt grief like that before. I still cry about my bunny and blame myself and hate myself so much for him passing away. I loved him so much and told him he was my best friend and my soulmate.

I still miss him so much. I miss my uncle. I miss living living with my family and living closer to my other relatives. I feel like i was still such a spoiled child that took so many things for granted. It was still hard then, but i have a different perspective and appreciation for how things were then.

Still, I appreciate everything I have now. I have my husband with me everyday supporting me and taking care of me. I have my baby bunny girl and we got a new bunny after my first bunny passed away. He reminds me of my first bunny in some ways, but of course he’s also entirely different. I love him a lot though, and I think he loves us a lot too. My husband and i suspect the people who sold him to us were neglecting him and borderline abusing him. He was skin and bones when we got him with crusty eyes and coarse, dry fur and a slightly crusty nose with his fur falling out in places.

It was scary and i was afraid for him, afraid of hurting him, but he’s much healthier now. I gave him lots of veggies and water and hay, and I cuddle him and give him lots of kisses and he gives me lots of kisses too. He’s super energetic and friendly, and as soon as we got to our new home he started exploring right away and already likes having things in the house a particular way. Our baby bunny girl is still hesitant and seemingly scared of our new place, she likes being right beside us and having us close by while she explores. But my bunnies are here with us, safe, warm and happy and that makes me happy and means so much to me, so much to us.

I feel like im a terrible, inept adult. But i’m trying. I’m trying to be better and more responsible for my little family, for my husband and our bunnies, and for the rest of my family. It’s hard and i’m lonely sometimes but i think im getting used to handling more things on my own.

Once we’re more settled in here, hopefully i can start focusing on my mental health and getting therapy and stuff. It’ll probably be really hard too, but i know i need help and i can’t be a better adult and person until i do. Then i can get my feet under me more, maybe have a job to support us with sometime in the future. My doctor said I wasn’t able to be employed with how unstable and terrible my mental health is, but my husband and i want children and i want to be able to take care of them, to take care of us, to help my family more.

Idk. I need to do more work, there’s still so many things to be done, our little home needs more work but i’m grateful. I’m thankful. I’m happy for where we are and how we are. I’m so tired, but i’m happy.

I’m happy. I’m sad, but i’m so happy.

[ao3feed-destiel-02]

Make Me Feel That I'm Alive Safe and Loved

read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/UFJ3YKo by serragracewn Dean Winchester, an omega, struggles with deep-seated self-worth issues stemming from childhood trauma and a family that never valued him. His best friend Castiel Novak, an alpha, has always been by his side, secretly harboring feelings for him. One rainy night, Dean’s loneliness and pain drive him to a breaking point. Cas finds him and finally confesses his love, taking on the role of protector and healer for his omega. As Dean slowly begins to heal with Cas's care and affection, they navigate the rocky path toward recovery and mutual love. Words: 4045, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English Series: Part 6 of Omega Verse Hurt/Comfort Fics Fandoms: Supernatural (TV 2005) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Categories: M/M Characters: Dean Winchester, Castiel (Supernatural) Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alpha/Omega, Omega Verse, Omega Dean Winchester, Alpha Castiel (Supernatural), Alpha Castiel/Omega Dean Winchester, Emotionally Hurt Dean Winchester, Broken Dean Winchester, Dean Winchester Has Self-Worth Issues, Dean Winchester Has Issues, Dean Winchester Has PTSD, Dean Winchester Has Self-Esteem Issues, Dean Winchester Has Mommy Issues, Dean Winchester Has Daddy Issues, Dean Winchester Has Trust Issues, Childhood Trauma, Family Issues, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Child Neglect, Neglected Dean Winchester, Abused Dean Winchester, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Dean Winchester is Not Okay, Weak Dean Winchester, Vulnerable Dean Winchester, Protective Castiel (Supernatural), Caring Castiel (Supernatural), Comforting Castiel (Supernatural), Worried Castiel (Supernatural), Possessive Castiel (Supernatural), Castiel Saves Dean Winchester, Castiel Takes Care of Dean Winchester, Castiel is Protective of Dean Winchester, Castiel Comforts Dean Winchester, Caretaker Castiel (Supernatural), Castiel to the Rescue (Supernatural), Dean Winchester Loves Castiel, Castiel Loves Dean Winchester, Self-Hating Dean Winchester, Dean Winchester is Bad at Self-Care, Dean Winchester Learns Self-Love, Dean Winchester Deserves to be Loved, Dean Winchester Deserves to be Happy, Castiel Deserves to be Happy (Supernatural), Castiel and Dean Winchester Get the Ending They Deserve, Loving Castiel (Supernatural), Loving Dean Winchester, Sweet Castiel/Dean Winchester, Sweet Dean Winchester, Sweet Castiel (Supernatural), Supportive Castiel (Supernatural), Overprotective Castiel (Supernatural), Fluff and Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Bad Parents John Winchester and Mary Winchester, Bad Sibling Sam Winchester, Guilty Sam Winchester, Guilty Mary Winchester, Lonely Dean Winchester, Heartbroken Dean Winchester, Friends to Lovers, Guilty John Winchester read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/UFJ3YKo

[hero-inebob]

My relationships

William- selfish, delusional, pretentious, asshole

Zack- manipulative user, asshole cunt, liar

John and John- took advantage of me, Did not care about me at all. Predators.

John- bizarre personality, awful kisser, I was just lonely.

Russell- another weirdo, mistake.

Cameron- controlling, only wanted sex, did not care to understand me as a person, temper issues. Pressured me into sex acts almost every chance he got. I was too young.

Ryan- too young and immature, Did not care about me, but I could barely remember his name now.

Matt- was like 2 different people. Treated me well as a friend, but hated me as a girlfriend. Heart broken.

Benjamin- Grew to dislike me, I think. Extreme commitment phobe.

Brandon- piece of shit addict, using women for shelter, used me and shat me out. Lied about everything. His family was also pieces of shit who somehow thought I was the one not good enough. Cunts the lot of them. Dated again after divorce to find out he was still a cunt when he broke my heart a 2nd time. Apparently, very charming to have fooled me a second time.

Chaz- still can't say his name without feeling uncomfortable. Nearly the most fucked up person I have ever met. Used me, abused me, raped me, and traumatized me. Filled with malice and hatred for everyone and an absolute failure in life. Love bombing, gaslighting and lied so much I questioned my own memory. Also, a pedophile and a narcissist with a severe case of borderline personality disorder. I don't understand how anyone could be capable of so thoroughly destroying a person inside and out the way he did me. I only defended myself. I did nothing to warrant that level of abuse. He did take the time to get to know me but ended up using the knowledge of all my weaknesses and vulnerabilities against me. He broke and remade my brain into something he controlled. I had to remind myself for the longest time that he deserves to be where he is.

Every female friend I have ever had plus my former and current sisters in law - Cunts. Giant cunts. They taught me self-hatred first. It still hurts to this day that Stephanie only ever attempted to speak to me once years after her and Keith's divorce and never again and never returned any of my messages. She was my sister and we had been so close. I only realize now from what I can remember that she was probably immature and selfish and still is to this day.

My brothers- As kids, it seemed like they hated me because of constantly being picked on. It was borderline abusive. Keith's constant issues with drugs, jail and insanity was traumatizing all by itself. I could write a book about it and the depression and pain it caused.

My parents- I felt emotionally neglected by both of them as a child. It didn't matter if they tried to show it, I could never feel it due to the constant fear of judgement and the terror from physical punishment or threats of physical punishment. First suicidal thoughts at age 10 is definitely a bad sign. I know there were good and happy times, but I remember best the feeling of fear. As an adult, it was easier to see that they do care about me a lot. They have changed a lot over the years too. I know they suffered abuse and neglect in their own childhoods and only had an authoritarian cult of a church to help them figure out how to be parents. In the end, they let love of their children win out and they are much better parents and grandparents. They have always supported me when I needed it.

Christina- I love you. You have helped heal a lot of my trauma. We have had our ups and downs but you have stood by me and taken steps to change when I needed you to. You are the only one that has treated me with kindness without selfish motivations other than my family. I trust you as much as I can trust anyone. And I am still trying to get better after a lifetime of awful relationships. I still have to survive and provide for our family at the same time and sometimes the resources for healing just aren't there. Have patience with me. All my close relationships in my life have been shite but I am having to undo their damage.