#THE KAGAGUHAN THAT THIS IS

[incoherent-orca]

🎧🐳🎧

[w2mini]

CAN YOU GUYS JUST IMAGINE THIS VIDEO AS MSBY 4 OR ADLERS I CANT DO THIS

[sikmurangmaingay]

Dito ko nakita kung gaano ako kamahal ni papa. Dahil tinanggap nia lahat ng pagkakamali ko. Ngayon ko naisip si Eds. Iniisip kong sabihin sa kanya lahat lahat, pero natatakot ako. paano kung iwan niya ko? gagawin ko ba to?

[anyonghalimaw]

GAGO one of my favorite pinoy meme pages fucking sold the page to someone selling vapes and nuked all the old photos I HATE MY GAY LIFE

[imblocking-you]

Someone liked a post of mine from 2020, I clicked it and it sent me to that post, I scroll down to find the string of posts I had at that time. It was like I was sent right back, I was hit with maybe a cargo ship's worth of nostalgia. I was so chronically online on Tumblr at the time and I was interacting with sm people. What a time to be alive.

[luvscode]

send    a    📸    to    see    3    —    5    pictures    that    my    muse    has    taken    of    your    muse

yohan    ft.    seojun   (    @lovscloud   )    

[cosmic-acee]

So.

Kavetham is taking over my fyp-

[neoswift]

PAIRING.    jaemin x fem!oc

CATEGORY.    filo social media au, fluff, crack, humor, “enemies” to lovers (kind of… not really), arianator!jaemin, swiftie!oc, stan twitter drama, college!au, established relationship (not exactly ... pero parang ganon na nga HAHAHA)

WARNINGS.    language, puro kagaguhan lang, stan twitter drama?, ag vs. ts discourse prolly

SYNOPSIS.    what are the odds na ‘yung kalandian mo turns out to be the same person na lagi mong kaaway sa twitter? for sab’s case—probably 10/10.

REQUESTED BY. anon! (send smau reqests here!)

STATUS. on going!

NOTE. sa anon na nagrequest neto last year ... sorry natagalan HAHAHAHA ETO NA SYA !! guys swiftie and arianator po ak pls wag nyo ak conceal CHZ HAHAHA anyway super crack lang to and mostly parang walang patutunguhan, just vibes 🤙🏼🤙🏼🤙🏼 also theyre in anitwt for this one kasi ... gusto ko lang ... and theyre dentistry students !! ( no one is surprised HAHAHA) enjoy reading! 🫶🏼

— sab and jaem's playlist!

PARTS!

profiles: main | stan twt | irls

01: resident arianator & swiftie

02: landing-landi

03: what if kayo talaga?

04: briejase first win

05: ???

TAGLIST. @archivedmkl @nctasdfghj @wooyoung-a @morkleetrash @kkotjia @i-aecrysture @injunified @smolpeyy @pepperrye @hibuki-chan @hannie-dul-set @chanfilms @yiz-yo @anya-writes-stuff @w0nderr @mihyu-ckie @remisaki @fullsunld @main-figuresk8-sunghoonie @dejavukirstein @seijenoh @renjun-pretty @skzbeyleynjasnct @yoitbb @najaeminluvbot @hazyru @lune1897@ heynayu @chimajeyn @rensaure @13isacoolnumber @liljeongseong @marahuyornjn @eureah @markleepooh @000rpheus @nanayogurt @luvenshiti @j-8star @flovezen @jaeyuuns @yoonhanzjaem @ssuungchans @shairamaexx @hibernatinghamster @roseltgiri

[jillaxkalangg]

whoooo nakakapikon talaga minsan puro kagaguhan na lang pinag uusapan sa office amputa ang dirty nyo mga ser lmao di ako interested sa mga kwentong sexcapades nyo yikes

[incoherent-orca]

🐳 is 🎧

[w2mini]

fake dating troupe with atsumu miya…. hell yeah

[sikmurangmaingay]

grabe yung nangyari sa kin, pero ok lang, pera lang yun, ang importante marami akong natutunan. Grabe yung mga tao dito, pera ang Diyos nila dito, tas hindi mo madidisiplina kahit mga bata dito hindi, kundi kasalanan mo pa. tapos, walang nagtatagal dito, ultimo pamilya hindi. bakit? kasi walang gustong magpakumbaba dito. wala ring gustong tumulong dito, kasi nga punong puno ng pride yung mga tao dito. United states daw pero wala namang nagtutulungan. puro robot din ang maasahan mo dito, hindi rin nila mahal ang trabaho nila dito. hindi nila gagawin yun kung hindi nila trabaho yun. bakit? dahil pera ang sinasamba nila dito. Walang Diyos ang mga tao dito, kaya siguro sila nadedepressed dito. wala ring sa'yo dito. binili mo na, kapag namatay ka na, aagawin yun ng gobyerno dito, ultimo buhay dito parang scripted. sa gamot lang umaasa ang mga tao dito. Isa rin siguro sa dahilan kung bakit nadedepressed sila, dahil sa way ng pamumuhay nila. hindi nila alam gawan ng paraan yung depression nila, bakit? depressed? doktor/gamot agad, ganun lang, it's just a never ending cycle para sa mga tao dito. hindi rin sila marunong magmahal. ultimo mga magulang nila wala silang pakialam. ilalagay nila agad sa carehome mga magulang nila once na matanda na sila. biruin nio, mga magulang na nag-alaga sa kanila, na dugo't laman nila. dun mo makikitang walan pagmamahal ang mga tao dito. biruin nio, mas pinapahalagaan pa nila yang halloween na yan kaysa sa christmas? gagastusan pa talaga nila mga costumes nila every year kaysa yung magsama sama yung pamilya every christmas? dun ko nakitang wala ngang kakwenta kwenta yung pamumuhay nila dito. meron pa nga silang mga stores na idinidedicate nila para dun sa mga walang kakwenta kwentang costumes na uulitin mo lang kada taon. May rason siguro bakit kinuha ako ni papa dito sa U.S. kasi ang dami ko ring natutunan dito kahit papano

[ask-emilz-de-philz]

MALIKSI: "BA'T KA PALAGI SA MGA TAO PUMAPANIG, KUYA?! PAANO NALANG AKO? KAMING MGA TAMAWO?!"

Makisig: "Maliksi, para ka namang hindi Tamawo, ang dali-dali mong mahuhulog sa mga kagaguhan nila. Tamawo ka ba, ha?"

(( XDD Maliksi's jumping in the canal coz you called his humor canal but he wants his kuya to feel bad for him aka nagpapansin so he jumped in the canal kasi canal lang yung sinasabi mo sa kanya so ganyan nga. XDD he'll find ways to make you the kontrabida HAHAHHAHA ))

#philmytcrea #planetputo Send Questions / Asks @ BLOG: ask-emilz-de-philz.tumblr.com Please consider supporting us at: ko-fi.com/haimacheir ;w;b

[forsungie]

GETAWAY CAR

pairings. park jisung x female reader x ex-boyfriend jaemin

genre. mature content, angst | requested!

content. fast paced, implied cheating (sa exam!), best friend haechan, very short car sex part

playlist. migraine by moonstar88, kisapmata by rivermaya, beer by itchyworms, hayaan by cup of joe, rebound by silent sanctuary, getaway car by taylor swift, sana by i belong to the zoo

author’s note. not proofread, pag pasensyahan niyo na if may typos and grammatical errors dahil tinamad na ko :') enjoy reading and feel free to send me feedbacks! 🩷

“badtrip, monday na monday nagpasurprise long quiz prof namin,” rant sayo ni haechan habang kumakain ng inorder nitong tapsilog.

nasa katabing cafeteria ng campus niyo kayo ngayon ng kaibigan mo dahil kakatapos lang ng klase mo at sakto namang nag aya si haechan kumain sa labas ng campus dahil free cut naman daw niya. ayaw daw niyang kumain sa canteen ng university niyo dahil bukod sa hindi na masarap ay mahal pa. wala ka ng next class, pero napag usapan niyo ni jisung na kakain kayo sa labas bilang bayad niya sayo sa pagtulong mo sa kaniya mag review last week kaya hindi ka pa umuuwi.

“hulaan mo kung nakailan ako,” natatawa pa nitong sabi sayo.

“half?” hula mo naman.

umiling si haechan, “twenty two over fifty.”

“gago kasi ni jeno, nag usap kaming mag kokopyahan kami tapos nung magsasagot na tinakpan papel niya, tarantado,” dagdag nito, napapailing pa.

“speaking of the devil, ayan oh,” turo mo sa parating na si jeno.

tumayo naman si haechan para hampasin ito, “pakyu, boi, taksil ka.”

“nakailan ka, jen?” baling mo sa isa.

“thirty nine over fifty,” nakangisi nitong sagot sayo, “nakikinig kasi ako, hindi kagaya ng iba dyan,” parinig nito kay haechan.

“madapa ka sana,” bulong ni haechan.

“uy, gago, nakalimutan ko tuloy yung sasabihin ko,” kalabit nito kay haechan, “nagpunta ko dito para sunduin ka, nasa room na si sir!”

“akala ko ba free cut?!”

“hindi daw! tara na,” hinila ni jeno si haechan palabas ng cafeteria, “una na kami, y/n!”

napailing ka na lang sa kagaguhan ng dalawa at saka akmang aalis na rin sana ng cafeteria nang tumunog ang cellphone mo. it was jisung who texted, tinatanong kung tapos na ang klase mo. imbis na mag reply ay pinindot mo na lang ang call button.

“hi,” halata sa tono ng boses ng binata na nakangiti ito sa likod ng telepono.

“nandito ako sa cafeteria sa tabi ng campus, kakatapos lang ng class ko, sinamahan ko lang si hyuck kumain,” sagot mo.

“patapos na rin klase ko,” aniya, “nag paalam lang ako mag cr saglit para masagot tawag mo.”

natawa ka naman, “sorry, akala ko tapos na klase mo. sige na, bumalik ka na muna, itext mo na lang ako pagkatapos, intayin kita.”

mukhang pinaglalaruan ka ng tadhana dahil nang palabas ka na ng cafeteria ay nakasalubong mo si jaemin kasama ang mga kaibigan niyang sila yangyang. nag dalawang isip ka pa nung una kung babatiin mo ang mga ito, pero naunahan ka ni yangyang, “y/n! bakit mag isa ka? nasaan sila hyuck?” tanong nito at saka ka niyakap.

“kakaalis lang, sinundo ni jen— bigla daw dumating prof nila,” sagot mo.

tipid na ngiti at tango lamang ang ibinigay sayo ni jaemin, mukhang na a-awkwardan rin sa sitwasyon, though madalas naman kayong magkita around the campus ay awkward at mahirap pa rin para sayo. mahirap naman kasi talagang mag kunwari na parang wala lang nangyari sainyong dalawa dahil ilang taon rin yon. mahirap kalimutan yon nang ganun-ganun lang.

bigla kang nanghina pagkatapos ng interaction na yon, sa tuwing makikita mo siya pakiramdam mo bumagsak ang langit at lupa sayo. imbis na bumalik sa campus para intayin si jisung ay napag desisyunan mong umuwi na lang. you feel like crying and so you did.

“it’s okay to cry, angel, crying doesn’t mean you’re weak,” palaging paalala sayo ni jaemin noon.

naalala mo pa ay sinabi niya sayo iyon noong namatay ang alaga mong aso na siya ang nagbigay. sobrang lungkot mo that time kaya niyakap ka niya, at doon pa lang tumulo ang mga luha mong kanina mo pa pinipigilan.

“i will cry with you.”

but not anymore.

after hours of crying in your room, saka mo lang naalala si jisung. nawala na sa isip mong kailangan mo siyang imessage para sabihing nauna ka nang umuwi at mag sorry.

ji, sorry umuwi na ko, bigla kasing sumama pakiramdam ko :(

sent at 6:02pm

it took three minutes for jisung before texting back.

no, it’s okay, kumusta na pakiramdam mo? uminom ka na ba ng gamot? dalhan ba kita? you should’ve told me na masama pakiramdam mo para hindi na kita pinag intay

you’re very glad to have someone like jisung that’s why you treasure him so much. sobrang swerte mo magkaroon ng kaibigang kagaya niya sa tabi mo every time na kailangan mo siya and you’re very aware of that. hinding hindi mo gugustuhing mawala siya sayo.

i’m good na! i took a nap as soon as i got home, so medyo okay na rin ako. thank you, ji! bawi ako sayo :')

sent at 6:08pm

days has passed quickly. december na at isang linggo na lang ay christmas eve na. you and your friends decided to go to tagaytay for a three day vacation bago mag pasko since you and your friends will be spending christmas with your family and relatives.

sa kabilang banda, napag desisyunan na ni jisung na umamin sayo sa huling araw ng bakasyon niyo sa tagaytay. it took him years bago nabuo ang desisyon niya and this time he’s very sure of it. he’s willing to take the risk if it’s you.

you have no idea na alam ng mga kaibigan mo na gusto ka ni jisung, not until the confession happened. to be honest, you didn’t know what to feel. you’re happy to know that he likes you, but half of you knows na hindi ka pa fully moved on from jaemin. and haechan knows it, he’s your best friend after all.

“please lang, y/n... matalino ka, gamitin mo ang utak mo,” haechan was very frustrated because of the news, “masasaktan mo lang si jisung, magkakasakitan lang kayong dalawa,” napahilamos na lang ito ng mukha sa stress.

after months of you and jisung’s set up, naisipan mo nang ikwento ito kay haechan. nalaman nito na may nangyayari sa inyong dalawa ni jisung as friends kahit alam ni jisung na hindi ka pa nakakamove on ay pumayag ito sa set up. well... you both enjoyed each other’s company.

“haah... malapit na ko, ji...” ungol mo habang hingal na hingal sa pagbaba at taas sa ibabaw ni jisung.

nasa kotse kayo ni jisung ngayon, ihahatid ka lang sana niya pauwi sa inyo galing sa campus. hindi mo rin alam kung paano kayo nauwi sa ganitong sitwasyon. one second, you were sitting on the passenger seat and the next, you were bouncing on top of him.

“fuck, you feel so good, angel... so tight around me...” he groaned while holding your hip to help you bounce on his cock.

“matulog ka na muna at pag isipan mo yung mga sinabi ko sayo,” paalam sayo ni haechan.

you did. pinag isipan mo ang mga payo sayo ni haechan. ang totoo niyan ay alam mo naman sa sarili mong mali ang ginagawa mo, pero hindi mo alam ang gagawin. siguro nga ay dahil sa ginawa mo ng distraction si jisung para lang masabing nakamove on ka na kay jaemin.

sa dalawang linggong nakalipas ay hindi mo nireplyan ang mga messages sayo ni jisung. hindi mo alam ang gagawin kaya naisipan mong mas mabuti kung iwasan mo na lang muna si jisung habang nag iisip ka. today is jisung’s birthday at ni-bati sa text o call ay hindi mo ginawa. in fact, may birthday party na magaganap si jisung ngayong gabi at pilit kang inaaya nila jeno na pumunta.

nang dumalaw ang hating gabi ay may nangyaring hindi mo inaasahan. kumakatok lang naman si jaemin sa bahay niyo, at lasing na lasing. tawag ito nang tawag sa pangalan mo kaya ginising ka ng mama mo para pagbuksan ng pinto ang binata.

“j-jaemin... anong ginagawa mo dito?” gulat na tanong mo sa binata.

“y/n... miss na miss na kita... alam mo ba yon?” jaemin murmured, lasing na lasing na ito at hindi na makatayo nang diretso kaya inalalayan mo.

nangilid ang mga luha sa mata mo nang marinig ang mga salitang iyon galing sa bibig ni jaemin, “lasing ka lang, umuwi ka na sa inyo, jaemin.”

mapait na tumawa si jaemin, “jaemin? you used to call me ‘love’...” he whispered.

tumango ka, “yes, used to...” you whispered back.

kahinaan mo si jaemin at alam mo yon. simula nang maghiwalay kayo marinig mo lang ang ngalan niya nanghihina ka na. pakiramdam mo tuwing mababanggit si jaemin naririnig mong nababasag ang puso mo.

“hindi ako makatulog nang hindi ka iniisip... naaalala kita sa lahat ng bagay...” panimula nito, “sorry kung... sorry kung sumuko ako, nasaktan lang rin naman ako. nagkakasakitan lang tayo.”

“you were the best thing that ever happened to me and i hope you know that. alam kong wala na tayong pagasa... alam kong hindi na natin kayang buuin pa nang paulit ulit ang matagal nang nasira. sinubukan naman natin,” dagdag nito habang pilit pinipigilang umiyak sa harap ng dalaga, “nandito ako dahil gusto ko lang na marinig mula sayo. para rin makausad na tayo peraho kahit paano. kasi hindi ko kayang nakikita na nahihirapan ka nang dahil sa akin...”

nakayuko ka lang at patuloy sa paghikbi habang pinakikinggan si jaemin.

muli kang tumango, “tama na, jaemin.”

mas lalo lamang lumakas ang hikbi mo nang sabihin mo ang mga salitang yon. biglang nag flashback sa utak mo yung limang taon na kasama mo siya.

“pwede ba kitang yakapin? kahit sa huling pagkakataon.” tanong ng binata.

imbis na sumagot ay tumakbo ka palapit kay jaemin at saka ito niyakap nang mahigpit. agad ka namang niyakap pabalik ni jaemin. mas lalo kang nanghina nang marinig itong umiyak sa balikat mo. naging triple ang sakit na nararamdaman mo... dahil ang unang beses na umiyak si jaemin sayo ay noong sinagot mo siya. ibang iba ang dahilan ng pagtangis niya ngayon. damang dama mo ang sakit sa hikbi ng binata.

habang si jisung, ibang ideya ang nakuha. nakaupo ito sa loob ng sasakyan niya sa malayo habang pinapanood kayong dalawa. simula pa lang naman ng laban alam na ni jisung na si jaemin pa rin.

dahil si jaemin naman talaga. it was him even from the very start at wala siyang laban.

habang pinapanood kayo ni jisung, ang hindi niya alam ay may nanonood rin sa kaniyang umiyak.

haechan is crying with him.

click here for bonus part!

[tigre-edi-rawr]

new love of my life

We broke up after I knew the truth from your woman. I literally have to get drunk all the time to restrain myself from going back to you. I remember struggling to sleep and eat every day. All I wanted is to drink. But fucking and no self-respect me drunk texted you again. The bitch wanted to get back because she still loves you, the fuck? This time you rejected me, and I moved on. You sent me messages but I never replied back anymore, the rejection after hurting me seems too unreal to me. My pride can't take it.

During the five days of no contact...

I remember feeling always feeling nauseous because my heart is aching so much, I think of you all the time. I can't eat, I can't sleep. I felt my tummy being warm all the time, it's weird. I remember getting drunk and jokingly said "Tapos buntis ako no? Tangina talaga ng buhay kung ganon." One day, I just woke up and took a pee when my mom asked me "Meron ka na? Meron ka nanaman?" I don't know if she's seeing something that I'm not seeing but after that, I took a pregnancy test.

Pregnancy Test

I was not even expecting for a double line when I took that pregnancy test. I don't understand why I did that PT but the gut feeling said I should. I just wanted to check and confirm everything to stop the overthinking. I remember taking it like it was nothing... not until when I was about to go out of the bathroom, a blurred second line appeared. The uncontrollable chills from all over my body. I can't understand if I was crying because I don't know what to do or I'm laughing because the world got to be fucking kidding me at this point. Like all that happened is not even enough, I needed this too? The laugh while crying is fucking real at this point. Me? Pregnant? That disgusting man is the father of my child? I can't even stand the idea that he's the father. Up to this day, I am still questioning why him? I still wish he's not the father.

Telling him I am pregnant.

I talked with my closest cousin, told him I was pregnant and that I don't know what to do. My world shattered. He told me to talk to the baby daddy. I asked the baby daddy to meet me. He was all firm "Bakit? Hindi ba kayang sabihin nalang sa chat?" he did not want to meet so I sent a photo of the PT I just took. We were both in disbelief. But what astonished me is... "Dath! So ano nga gusto mong gawin ko sunduin kita at dumito ka muna hanggang sa macheck natin kung buntis ka ba o hindi. Hindi ba pwedeng tsaka tayo magkita at magusap pag positive talaga?" That left me with the impression that I got to do this alone. Pananagutan niya, pero kapag sigurado na. Anong kagaguhan yon? Fuck it, I don't need him. I stopped talking to him, I took a second PT. It's still positive. Later that night, he sent me multiple texts that he wanted to meet and wanted to know what's going on. I spent the night in their house, I slept there and took another pregnancy test first pee in the morning. It was still positive. It hasn't sinked it yet, I'm still indenial, we went to see a doctor for a blood test and I got laughed on "Parang hindi ka pa naniniwala sa mga PT mo? Nakailan ka, tatlo?" Fuck. This is real.

What do I want to do?

When we knew that I'm indeed pregnant, I insisted to not fix us but mentioned that we should be there for the baby. I was fucking being mature when I said I don't want my baby to grow up without a father, especially when he's very eager to be there for the baby. I don't want to take it from them just because I was fucking hurt. I saw how happy Harvey was. How excited he was. In fact, when I spent the night to really check if I am pregnant first thing in the morning. I was sleeping but I felt him touching my belly, I even caught him staring at me that night with his hand on his chin. But I was firm that I no longer want to fix our relationship, we can co-parent instead of building a home where our baby will be exposed with fights, traumas, and bad things. I appreciated how responsible he was because it was his dream to have a baby. Somehow, I felt at ease that he is the father. No doubt that he will not neglect my baby. Or so I thought.

First Ultrasound, July 18, 2024.

Later on, when I have gone through my ultrasound, I found out I was five weeks pregnant. I'm already pregnant when I'm going through all the pain and betrayals during La Union team building. I was furious and hurt. At the same time, I felt bad for my baby. I did not know that I'm pregnant. All I did was drink, not eat, and barely sleep. I even smoked stupid shits. I was ashamed of myself. I did not know but I was irresponsible. And yes, I blamed the baby daddy as well. I remember not hearing a heartbeat. I was like a stone. I can't say anything. I don't know how and what to feel. I don't even have anyone there inside when I was laying down to comfort me and say not to worry so much besides the doctor herself. I am lost for words, the baby daddy with me did not even talk to me that day and during the ride. He only asked me through message and I was fucking mad. I lost it. We were saying nasty things to each other, I even said "Kung mamatay man ang anak ko, kasalanan mo yon at hindi ko alam kung anong magagawa ko sayong hayop ka!" Hindi ko sinasabi sakaniya na wala pang heartbeat yung bata. Dahil pakiramdam ko, wala na siyang karapatan dahil wala naman na siyang magandang dulot kahit simula palang ng pagbubuntis ko. Wala akong natanggap kung hindi sakit at pagpapahirap. Kaso sa sobrang galit ko, napagmumura ko talaga siya at sinabi ko na wala pang heartbeat. "Masaya ka na?" He only stopped when i said the baby has no heartbeat earlier in the appointment. I felt how concern he is. Then he said that to end the things between us that is making me stressful which could possibly affect the baby, he wants us to fix everything and to move in together. He will do everything to keep us safe. He said.

The next day after the ultrasound, July 19, 2024.

I thought he was just bluffing but the next day, he went to our house. For the first time since knowing that I am pregnant, he faced my parents and talked to them. He even asked their blessing for us to move in together and try to fix everything because that’s what he wants and that his intentions are pure. I was astonished on how brave he was and the choice of words when he talked to my parents touched my soft spot for my baby. I realized, was I really being selfish? Was I thinking of my feelings after all and not my baby? Am I really trying to destroy a family he wants to be whole because I was hurt? My parents approved and said it depends on my decision. If I want to come with the baby daddy and explore our connection for the baby, it's all on me and that they will 100% support any decision. My father even asked me when do I want to move in? I can't believe that my parents will literally give me to this piece of shit. But deep inside, should I? What's the best for the baby?

July 21, 2024.

I haven't packed yet, but I felt like my decision is to try it once again and fix in order to have a "complete" family. That day, he asked if I was ready. He even asked me to come with me to buy some grocery which I will eat whenever I'm hungry when he's at work and I'm all alone in their house. Everything went smoothly. My parents sent us off. I still can't believe I'm pregnant, I'm in that house... with that man. But I tried my best to be happy and be as healthy for the baby. Not until...

July 22, 2024.

I am a light sleeper, whenever he bounces back and forth in bed, I always check if he's okay. I saw him around 2 a.m. getting irritated by his sweat so I asked him to switch places because I am cold. When we switched places, he rolled to the other side of the bed but forgot his phone and reached out for it. The fucking traumatic mind of mine is thinking about why is he half asleep but did not even forget to take his phone? This is a familiar feeling. I couldn't sleep that night. I had to shake it off, and he even saw me still not asleep so he hugged me and massaged my back.

July 23, 2024.

I am still trying my best not to check his phone. I don't want to hurt myself, and I don't want to entertain my paranoid thoughts. Not until... After work, I lay down beside him where he opened his eyes and hugged me to make me fall asleep again. I asked him to talk for a bit because I'm still not sleepy. I can't remember how the conversation started but I asked him "Meron ka bang nakasex na iba habang tayo pa?" and he answered me "Meron man o wala, hindi na para sabihin pa. Tapos na lahat yon." PUTANGINA??????? SOBRANG BABOY GAGO.

I remember him not confessing anything but the gut feeling again says that the answer to that question is yes.

He fell asleep and I checked his phone that night. I read a lot of conversations about me, masama ugali, selosa, paranoid, eskandalosa, hindi na para tanggapin pa pabalik ulit, etc.

Nabasa ko rin na palagi siyang nasa inuman at may mga babae sila. What caught my eye is this one thing. Madaling araw, nagchat siya sakin na nagpapaalam na siya, his last goodbye. Sobrang mahal na mahal daw niya ako, all that bullshit. Pero that same day, tanghali, kausapin niya yung tropa niya na bakit daw siya hinahanap. Kasama daw niya si ano, si Fiona daw, nadiskarte daw. Patingin daw ng mga babae sa kabilang inuman kung nice.

Yung sikmura ko parang bumaliktad nalang. Diring diri ako. Sobrang baboy na baboy ako. Sinuka suka na pala ako at talagang wala na akong balak balikan kung hindi lang ako nabuntis.

AT HINDI PA YUN YUNG PINAKAPLOT TWIST. PUTANGINA.

Gusto kong maintindihan lahat kung bakit sobrang baba niyang lalaki. Kung bakit kaya niya ng ganong sistema. Hanggang sa hindi ko namalayan, meron pa pala akong ibang malalaman. I asked him, "Meron kang nakasex habang tayo?" He said, "Meron, isa." "Kailan?" "Wag mo nang alamin kung kailan." "Sino?" "Wag mo nang alamin kung sino kasi hindi mo lang rin titigilan." I can't remember how he confessed it but... hindi ko alam kung meron pang sikmura sakin na pwede bang bumaliktad noong nalaman ko na may nakasex pala siya same week noong humarap siya sa pamilya ko para kuhain ako doon sa bahay. Noong alam na niyang buntis na ako.

Alam ko na sa sarili ko na hindi ko na kayang tanggapin yung ganong kababoy. Wala na akong nagawa kung hindi umiyak habang paulit-ulit kong sinasabi na "Buntis na ako, Kim? Buntis na ako?"

Wala akong tulog noong araw na yon dahil hindi ako makatulog sa mga nalaman ko. Tapos buong araw akong iyak nang iyak noong nalaman ko lahat ng kababuyan niya. Umuwi na ako sa bahay namin ulit after all that.

If only I can upload my recording of that confrontations. I can't even try to listen to it again because nobody deserves to be treated like that, especially when they are carrying your child.

[kuyajermsss]

Nasa phase na ko in life na ina-add ako ng mga pamangkin ko pero di ko ma-accept kasi puro kagaguhan, kalibugan at katarantaduhan yung mga shared posts ko hahahaha

wag kayo gagaya kay tito plsss

am rly that old