#THE GREATER SEATTLE POLYCULE

[shacklesburst]

or, even worse, "she took half the wives and husbands in the divorce"

[Guy at the workplace having a midlife crisis but he's poly] She took the wife in the divorce

[carfuckerlynch]

capitol hill graffiti is just as good as i had hoped

[gengarghast]

BREAKING NEWS: BILL CIPHER CANONICALLY KNOWS WHAT POLYCULES ARE

[bunny--manders]

I don't like the way most men desire me but I like the directness with which they express their desires. I like the way most women desire me but I don't like the way I can't tell flirtatiousness apart from friendship so much of the time. And as for nonbinary people I simply don't have time for that many D&D games.

[beemovieerotica]

Genuine question why do you hate Seattle?

I think it's fun to have beef with an entire American city, it's genuinely healing and centering. I wrote a 70,000 word fanfic where Seattle is buried under an apocalyptic tidal wave because of its hubris and it's probably one of the best things I've ever written. and I think that's the best indication of my feelings on the matter (and my psyche). everyone should do this: pick a city and destroy it in your mind.

[nero-neptune]

i know this is gonna sound crazy, i Know!!, but i think trying out that '70s west coast polycule arrangement actually couldve legit been helpful for billy joel's music career (and/or mental health) in his 20s. or it could've catastrophically rocked his entire shit, but it's so funny to me that if the stars aligned in the right way back in 1970-or-so, a throuple thing could've happened and we would've seen 1 of these 2 options play out

[batsarebetterthanpeople]

Babygirl if you want to suck his cock you can just ask you don't have to be extra about it.

[thesnacken]

Honestly its a crying shame that I'm not being used for my Praise Factory nature. I genuinely enjoy just flooding positivity onto people but I'm just not around the kind of people who would benefit from that

[slightlyhopefulromantic]

i penciled out a polycule chart for mnmoms au last night instead of sleeping (because you know. priorities) so i decided to digitize and edit it while listening to today's episode. got a bit um. distracted from posting it XD but here it is now! a strange lil mix of hierarchical (samantha, ron, darryl, glenn) polyamory, non-hierarchical (mercedes, henry, carol) polyamory, and some guys who just happen to be there (morgan and jodie). because i do not believe in simple polycules, they do not exist.

this all happens like... a few years after the end of s1, i would say? except for the preexisting marriages, obviously, and also morgan and jodie's whole deal. that's been confusing since the trial and morgan refuses to clarify it for anyone including herself.

gonna transcribe all of the connections below the cut because i think that'll be too confusing in alt text and also, my handwriting isn't great so people might wanna read it in plain text anyways. this is gonna be. long. sorry LOL

okay so first: the key indicates romantic or platonic, though obviously, some of these connections are a mix of both (cough morgan cough). the heart symbol means that a relationship is prioritized, and if a character has several prioritized relationships, that means that they practice non-hierarchical polyamory :) yes, it could have been simpler to give them no hearts, but that's not as cute.

Samantha to Ron: Husband, romantic, prioritized relationship. Samantha to Mercedes: Girlfriend, romantic. Samantha to Carol: Girlfriend, romantic.

Ron to Samantha: Wife, romantic, prioritized relationship.

Mercedes to Henry: Husband, romantic, prioritized relationship. Mercedes to Samantha: Girlfriend, romantic, prioritized relationship. Mercedes to Carol: Girlfriend, romantic, prioritized relationship.

Henry to Mercedes: Wife, romantic, prioritized relationship.

Carol to Darryl: "??? coparents? queerplatonic?", platonic, prioritized relationship. Carol to Samantha: Girlfriend, romantic, prioritized relationship. Carol to Mercedes: Girlfriend, romantic, prioritized relationship.

Darryl to Carol: "Wife /p", platonic, prioritized relationship. Darryl to Glenn: "Boyfriend?", romantic.

Morgan to Jodie: "Whatever these two got going on", platonic/romantic. Morgan to Glenn: "Words cannot describe what is going on here.", romantic/platonic.

Glenn to Darryl: Lover, romantic, prioritized relationship. Glenn to Morgan: "Darryl's hot friend", platonic/romantic.

Jodie to Morgan: Wife, romantic, prioritized relationship.

[belle--ofthebrawl]

If you see OC stuff pop up on ao3 later, no you don't. Or maybe you do. Maybe you want to know more about the bitchy wannabe chosen one elder sister and the doomed younger sister forced into a fate she couldn't even comprehend and their dumbass adopted dad who did his best to raise two awful children while coping with the fact he still has it bad for the guy he was destined to kill and did. Maybe you might be into that.

[paterday]

The greater Infinity polycule

[shadowhandessekthelyss]

Glad you liked my Greater Sword Coast polycule joke lmao. I never pas up the opportunity to make a Greater Seattle polycule-adjacent joke. Plus the Greater Sword Coast polycule is real in my heart.

Literally everytime i see someone make a joke for what a bg3 polycule would be called/just refers to one my brain automatically goes "the Greater Sword Coast polycule"

[who-is-page]

I'm sorry but you can't hide this take in the tags. also you're right

"having sex with your friends is basically incest" is a take of all time

[ironmyrmidon]

The Greater Seattle Polycule is an urban legend, right?

[blorboresidue]

help I'm thinking about the six women, including yourself again

[slutcore-starships]

Hehe, ooohhh then I'll take advantage of being anonymous~ I've been thinking about how badly I want to just get my hands on you

If you'd let me I'd do so much, I'd drive across the country if need be~ :3

I can't just up and do that, much as I wish I could... but I'll have my chance someday~ ;3

WHSHSJSHSJHSJS THAT NARROWS IT DOWN 👁️👁️

(also,,,,, WHSHSJHSSJVSSJBSSHB😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫)