#THE FLASHBACKS GOT ME SOBBING. GOODBYE

[sugurugayto]

what not moving on for 10 years does to person

[writerswall26]

My Sweet Cairo (Part 3)

Synopsis: The Ravens' Soccer team Captain fell in love for Cairo Sweet

Warning: Slight cursing, Student-Teacher relations, Anger rage. Other than that, none that I know of (but feel free to correct me)

Words: 2.2k

Masterlist | Previous Part| Next Part

A/N: Some small fluff before the start of it all. Also, I apologize to all the football (yes! I call it football, they use their foot! Sue me! But for the sake of the story, I'll call it soccer.) enthusiast out there that knows their thing. Happy Reading!

Y/N was on her way home on friday when she noticed a car on Cairo's driveway. She did not expect Cairo's parents to be home. She slowed down for a couple of moments only to be greeted by Mr. Miller walking out of Cairo's front door, looking horrified and dishevelled and wet.

There was stinging in her eyes as she watched their literature teacher run to his car and drive off without looking back. She watched him until he was out of sight before she let the tears fall. The anger inside her bubbling once again. She rode her bike, went home and slammed her bedroom door shut. Her mum's at the hospital right now, she's on call.

The next thing she knows, she's throwing everything that she got her hands on, punching a hole in the wall every chance she gets. Flash backs coming to her. She despises them. Students like them, like Cairo.

"Fuck you!" She shouted, throwing a lamp on the wall. "Fuck all of you!" She shouted before her sobs were heard. Her body slumping on her closet door as she cried. Her body was shaking. She couldn't take it.

The flashback of herself running to her parents' bedroom when she heard the gunshot, the red colour flowing down the floor, and the sight of her father's unmoving body, a bullet hole in his head as the gun's dropped on the floor. All of it, coming back to her like a tidal wave, taking her down with it and not letting her breathe even for a second. Then she was out cold.

When she woke up, her room was already tidied up, no more shattered glasses on the floor, the holes on the wall were still there, her hand bandaged up gently. She groaned as she pushed herself up, looking around her room. It was like the scene from last night did not happen. The only evidence of it were the holes.

When she got down to get herself lunch, which she did not notice, she found her mother already preparing the table. Y/M/N gave her daughter a smile as she patted the empty spot beside her.

"I was going to wake you up in a bit. Big night tonight." Y/M/N said, not mentioning or asking what the hell happened last night. She knows better.

"What time did you come in last night?" Y/N asked her mother who turned to her with a smile.

"Just a little over midnight. I was gonna check in on you but you were passed out cold on the floor so I dragged your heavy ass on your bed. Rough day yesterday?" Y/M/N said, not wanting to ask questions. She wants to let her daughter feel free to tell her things.

Y/N nodded. "It was, yeah. Or maybe the championship game is getting ahead of me. Thanks for patching my hand, cleaning my room, and dragging my huge ass on my bed." She smiled.

Y/M/N chuckled as they started to eat. "Are you ready for tonight's game? You know I'm still extremely proud of you even if you sit this down, right?" She assured.

"Nah, I can't. I want to win this game and whack Mr. Miller with the championship cup, together with my MVP trophy." She joked, hypothetically.

"Ooff, that's a bit aggressive." Y/M/N said, making Y/N laugh.

"We have a bet going on. I don't want to lose to a one time book publishing writer." Y/N said, there was something in her voice that Y/M/N can't quite pinpoint on, but she did not push it.

"I'll see you at school, mum." Y/N bid her mum goodbye a couple of hours after lunch to go get ready for the championship game.

"Good luck, sweetheart." Y/M/N told her daughter and gave her a kiss on the cheek before she let Y/N go.

When Y/N got to the locker room, everyone was already there, preparing.

"Where have you been, man? And what happened to your hand?" Jasmine was the first to find her.

Y/N just smiled before she put her duffel bag down, got her clothes and shoes out and went to go change. They didn't have enough time to speak as it was about to start in a few minutes. After Y/N changed, she removed the bandage in her hand with a wince, seeing the wounds but paying no mind as coach Fillmore clapped his hands to get their attention.

He did his usual motivational speech but this time, a bit aggressive and rough. Then they all turned to Y/N who was not in her usual smiling face.

"The Sharks were the hardest bunch to defeat in the rosters this year. But we already did that. However, we don't want to be complacent. The timberwolves were a menace last season, we managed to beat them but this is different. They're gonna be rough and dirty. So I suggest, if you must, join them at their game." She said, aggression and venom in her voice.

Everyone was quiet after that. They know she was not here to play and she's gonna do whatever means necessary to win that cup. Coach noticed the tense atmosphere so he clapped his hands and got their attention.

"Alright! Let's get out there and get this cup! Go, Ravens!" He shouted, guiding his team out the lockers to the dugout.

Y/N was front in line as they waited for their team name to be called. The usual starter went on with the national anthem and rules laid down from the refs.

"You sure you're down to play?" Coach Fillmore asked when he got a few moments with Y/N before the game started.

"Yes, sir." Y/N said, looking at the fields to focus herself.

"Y/N." He called out which got her to look at him. He was worried, she can see that. Her body is whacked and he's not sure if she's really ready for this game emotionally.

"I can do this. I can play." She assured them with a burning desire to win in her eyes. The coach nodded, not knowing what to say or do so he let her.

As soon as they got on the field, Y/N was aggressive. She was soloing the fields left and right, kicking the ball to the post whenever she could but nothing was going in. She was getting frustrated when the last 5 minutes of the first half came so she did what she knew in the moment, slamming bodies and aggressive goal kicking.

She heard a whistle blowing and then a yellow card on her face by the time the first half was over.

Y/N slammed the door of the locker room as soon as she got inside, then Jasmine lunged at her, screaming at her.

"What the fuck were you thinking?! What was that?!" Jasmine keeps berating her while their teammates are pulling Jasmine off her.

"Y/L/N! What was that?!" Coach Fillmore followed as Y/N fixed herself. "Get your ass out of here and take a breather before I pull you out of the game all together!"

Y/N picked up her water bottle and stormed out of the locker room. She was pacing back and forth on the dark dugout before throwing her water bottle on the wall.

"Y/N!" Someone called out, a voice she knew all too well.

"Cairo, get away from me, I swear to God." Y/N angrily said, facing the shorter girl as she breathes heavily.

Cairo stared at her for a moment before walking towards her but she stepped back.

"Leave, now!" She shouted, making Cairo flinched, but she made no attempt to leave.

"What is happening to you? You're throwing away your game, your championship. You literally tackled a player out there." Cairo said, a certain sweetness in her voice that made Y/N's knees buckle but she stood firm.

"What the fuck do you care?" Y/N asked aggressively. "Why are you even here?!"

"Because I care for you, I want you to win this game." Cairo said, slowly walking towards her, wanting their distance to close in so she could hold Y/N but the taller girl kept walking back.

"I saw you." Y/N said, staring at Cairo to see her reaction. "At Vanderbilt. With Mr. Miller. That's why you rejected my invite right? Because you were with Mr. Miller?"

Cairo's brows furrowed for a bit, Y/N almost saw her panic before Cairo smiled and walked towards her, holding a hand on her chest.

"Is that why you've been acting all weird lately? Because you saw me with Mr. Miller?" Cairo asked, her voice laced with amusement. "He's helping me with my essay, Y/N. It was nothing."

Y/N shook her head, not believing what she's hearing but Cairo held her cheek, pulling her face so she could look at the brunette in front of her. Cairo's smile never left her face as she caressed Y/N's face gently. Calming the taller girl.

"Are you jealous?" She asked, amused.

Y/N rolled her eyes and looked away again but Cairo pulled her face back so she could look at her.

"You're really jealous." Cairo let out a giggle before she pulled Y/N's face and gave her a long sweet kiss.

When Cairo pulled away, there was still the sweet smile, her forehead on Y/N's forehead.

"Y/N, I like you. I know I should've told you this earlier." She said.

"Then what was Mr. Miller doing at your house? Last friday. I saw him walk out of your front door looking bothered and disoriented." She asked, pulling herself away.

Cairo gave her a look. "There was a small mishap that happened, he accidentally grabbed my phone so he went to my place to give it back. He was supposed to be on a weekend getaway with his wife when she called it off because there was something wrong, I don't know."

Y/N stared at Cairo for a long time, reading her, seeing a semblance of a lie, but nothing. Then she sighed, walking over to Cairo and leaning her head on the shorter girl's shoulder. Cairo's hand was immediately at the back of her head, playing with her hair, soothing her.

"I cannot believe I got jealous over nothing." Y/N groaned before she pulled her head back to look at Cairo who's already giggling.

"Maybe next time before you go all hulk on everyone, try to ask me first."

"Yeah, I'll do that." Y/N said before she leaned forward to capture Cairo's lips for the last time.

When she pulled back, there was already a smile on her face. All the anger and resentment bubbling down with everything that Cairo said. She's finally at peace.

"Now, go back there. Apologize to your team and to coach Fillmore. Apologize to that player you tackled. And go win this damn championship." Cairo told her sweetly. Y/N nodded before she straightened up.

"See you after I win this game." Y/N said and went back to the locker room. When she got there, the team was already waiting for her, 2 minutes before the second half started.

"I'm sorry. My head is in shambles, I was a mess. But I promise, I am all calmed and ready to play nice." She told them.

Her team looked at each other before Jasmine stood up and walked to her. Jasmine smiled, holding a hand.

"Let's get this championship done." Jasmine said. Y/N took her hand before the locker room erupted in cheers and hype.

"Alright!" Coach shut them up. "We're gonna play nice, play fair, and we're gonna score. Ready?"

"Yes, sir!" Everyone shouted before they were out of the locker room and into the fields.

Y/N walked to the player she tackled and apologized. The player was pissed to say the least but she accepted Y/N apology and playfully taunted her. The game went smoothly with no aggressiveness.

"Y/L/N ran the fields, dodging 2 players at a time, the ball steady in her feet, she sidestepped and GOAL!" The commentator said, watching in anticipation as the Ravens scored their winning goal for the championship.

The stands erupted in cheers and whistles. The ravens tackled Y/N with a hug, throwing her on their shoulder and chanting her name. It was a wonderful game for both teams despite the earlier play.

Y/N held the championship trophy up, looking up at the sky with teary eyes.

"For you, dad." She muttered before she was let down to celebrate.

The first person Y/N looked for was her mum, who was patiently waiting on the side, tears in her eyes, her hands held together. Y/N ran to her mum and gave her a tight hug.

"I'm so so proud of you, darling!" Y/M/N said, holding her daughter's face to give her a kiss. Y/N let her mum before she gave her the MVP trophy as well.

"This game is for you, and dad." She said, smiling widely at her mum who sobbed. She held her mum tightly in her arms.

"Your father would be so proud of you, he would be so proud." Y/M/N cried in her daughter's arms.

When her mum finally calmed down, Y/M/N told her to go celebrate so she did. She looked around until she found the person she was looking for, she ran to Cairo and hugged her tight, making the shorter girl laugh in her arms.

"Congratulations, baby. I'm so proud of you." Cairo said, patting Y/N's back before the taller girl pulled away.

"I bet you are." Y/N said before she leaned down and gave Cairo a loving kiss.

They heard the Ravens shouting and cheering but they paid no mind as they got lost in their own world.

[funnyjb]

It will always be you.

It’s been two months since then. Two months since Joe and I broke up. We have been together since freshman year of college.

I’ve been staying back at my parent’s house that’s only 40 minutes from Cincy. Today was a hard day so far. Joe is playing in his first game since the injury. I haven’t really spoken to him. The whole reason we have been off is because of him. I gave him my all and he pushed me away. I understand it’s been hard on him and a lot of pressure going into the season but he shouldn’t have been acting the way he did. He’s a great, amazing, handsome, talented, sweet, and strong guy, but something changed.

I would be there for him and he would just push me away. I would ask him how his day was and he wouldn’t respond or just say “y/n I’m not in the mood.”

He wouldn’t talk to me, wouldn’t even look at me. He would cuddle at night but then the next morning just a goodbye and out then door.

I had enough.

Flashback

“Hey,how was your day?”- you

“I’m not in the mood right now, y/n.”- joe

I was pissed

I slammed my hand on the counter.

“I’m done, joe! I’m so sick and tired of this bs.”- you

He turned around.

“What do you mean?”- joe

His eyes were wide

“I mean I’m so done with your bullshit. You don’t even acknowledge me anymore. You push me away. I know I might sound like a crazy girlfriend right now but I’m saying what needs to be said. Every time I open my mouth to say something you nod or say “not right now.” For two straight months that’s all I’ve been getting from you. We’ve been getting into so many arguments recently joe. I don’t know what happened but nothing is working. I’ve been trying so hard to let you do your thing and I’m so proud of you for how far you’ve come but all you seem to do now is push me away. I feel like I’m in the middle of the ocean stuck and stranded while you are on an island miles away.”

“Y/n….”- joe

“Don’t Joe. I think we need a break.”- you

I had tears streaming down my face

Joe walked over to me

He took a deep breath. I could tell he was on the verge of tears.

“I…I…think you’re right, y/n.”- joe

“R…really?”- you

“Yeah…I have always loved you and forever will, but nothing is working out now. I hate to do this, I hate it, I hate it, but you are right.”- joe

He was now crying as well

“Umm….well…. I guess I will stay with my parents.”- you

Joe pulled me in for a hug.

“I will always love you, y/n. I’m so so sorry I’ve been like this. It’s not right. It’s not fair to you.”- joe

I looked at him and put my hands on his face.

I couldn’t even get words out of my mouth I was crying so hard.

“It’s…it’s ok. I understand Joe. We’ve been through a lot I know you. You are strong, kind, caring, brave, and an amazing person. I believe we can work this out. I believe in us, but we need time. I will always love you, Joesph.”- you

I kissed him.

I then grabbed my bag that was already packed. It broke my heart. Joe was sobbing and so was I. He pulled me into one last hug and a kiss.

“I will be here whenever we are ready, I’m here.”- joe

I nodded

I then left.

End of flashback

I sat on the couch. The tv was on with joes game.

“I can turn it off.”- your dad

“No, no, I want to watch.”- you

Just then the camera pointed to Joe running out.

I got emotional.

He’s ok.

I was so proud of him.

He started out on the field and just a couple minutes later a touchdown to tee.

I was so happy.

“Yeah Joe!”- your brother

He only was on for a couple minutes until he came off and was in coach mode.

Damm he looks good.

After an hour the game was over. Bengals sadly lost but Joe did awesome out there and so did the team.

———————————————————————

I was cleaning the dishes till the door bell rang. It was now 9:00.

“I’ll get it!”- you

I walked over to the door and opened it. I couldn’t believe who was there. Joe.

“J…Joe.”- you

“Hi.”- joe

He had his hands in his pockets.

“Can…can we talk?”- joe

“Umm.”- you

I looked behind me to make sure my family wasn’t listening in.

“Yeah, sure.”- you

I closed the door behind me and sat on the couch on the outside porch. Joe sat across from me.

“I..I honestly don’t even know what to say cause there is so many things I could say.”- Joe

“Well, I’m all ears.”- I smiled

“I just want to say I fucked up. I fucked up bad. I should have realized what asshole I was to you sooner. I been going to therapy. It’s been helping a lot with everything. I have been miserable ever since you left. Seriously talk to my mom I cried and got snot all over her shirt while talking to her.”- joe

I chuckled

“Seriously y/n, I’m so so so sorry. I can’t do life without you. You are my rock and the reason I’m here doing what I do. You believed in me. You fought for me through thick and thin. You have given me your trust, love and support throughout all these years and I couldn’t be more grateful for all of it. I need you, y/n. I can’t even be at the house I’ve been living at Sam’s because I couldn’t be in the house we filled with love and laughter without you. I understand if you don’t want be back. I can leave I know what you are going to say.”-joe

He was about to get up when I interrupted him

“No! Don’t go. I don’t think you do know what I’m going to say.”- you smiled

He sat back down.

I took a deep breath.

“You haven’t been an asshole, well…maybe a little.”- you laugh

Joe laughed

“I have never stopped loving you and supporting you. I saw you on tv today. You were incredible. You always are. I’m so proud of you, Joe. I understand that when you are hurt you tend to push people away. I know you have said that before, but I couldn’t handle it anymore. I was trying to be there for you and you pushed me away. And just as you were getting better and going back to practice you didn’t even acknowledge me. I will always be there for you. I just need you to be there for me. I need you to know I am there for you. I need you to stop pushing me away when you need it most.”- you

“I will do anything for you, y/n. I will love you till our bodies grow old and we can even walk.”- joe

I laughed

“Then I accept your offer!”- you

Joe perked up. A big smile spread across his face.

He then walked over to me pulled me in and kissed me. His eyes were teary.

“I’ve missed you so much.”-joe

“I’ve missed you more.”- you

I was now teary

“Not possible.”- joe

He then pulled me in for another kiss

“I love the hair btw, always been into blondes.”- you

“Oh really? Then how did I get so lucky our freshman year?”- joe

“I honestly don’t know.”- you smile

Joe chuckled

I got up and went to the door.

“I will pack right now!”- you

“Ok!”- Joe

I opened the door but then I stopped myself. I turned around and ran up to Joe and gave him a big kiss on the lips.

“It will always be you.”- you

“It has and will forever be you.”- joe smiled

——————————————————————-

The end!

Authors note: I know Joe is a little corny and cringey but he’s just so cute.

P.s. sorry joe was kind of an asshole. lol

[jeankluv]

The forgotten boy - Geto Suguru | Chapter 05

words: 3.2k

summary: He made a deal with the devil, over 1,000 years ago. Just for the sake of his loved ones but the deal came with a condition. Everyone he met from that moment on, would forget about his existence within minutes, and will be like that for the rest of the eternity

Like that Geto Suguru lived for 1,000 years, being forgotten by everyone he met, not being remembered by anyone and being alone.

"You remember me?"

You nodded. “Of course I do.” You smiled. “You have been coming here for a few days now. Always at the same hour and always asking for the same coffee.”

ac: _3aem

tags: angst, fluff, fantasy au, different lifetimes, dual pov, use of y/n, fem!character, modern settings but also past settings, eventual smut, destiny, characters death (in the flashbacks), blood [more tags in the future]

notes: hellooooo new chapter ☺️ I hope everyone enjoys it

materialist | previous chapter | next chapter

jujutsu kaisen materialist

Suguru looked at the ceiling of your living room as he stroked Blue's black fur, which was purring on top of his stomach. It had been two hours since you had said goodbye and since then Suguru had dedicated himself to looking at the ceiling. There were nights where he did manage to sleep but others in which that need never came.

That night was one of them, his body was fresh as a rose and Suguru knew that the only thing he had left to do was watch the time pass, as he had done countless times.

Blue stood up from his stomach and ran towards your door. Suguru looked at her strangely at the feline's sudden behavior. But when he started to pay attention, he noticed sobs and noises coming from your room.

He quickly got up and approached her door, knocking gently at first but then more firmly when there was no response. “Y/N, are you okay?” He shouted, concerned in his voice. When he still received no response, he decided to take action.

"Y/N, I'm coming in." He said in a firm voice, holding the door handle.

Suguru opened the door and found the room dimly lit by the soft glow of the streetlights filtering through the curtains. His eyes quickly adjusted to the low light and he approached your bed, where he could see you tossing and turning with your brow furrowed in anguish.

He reached out and gently shook your shoulder. “Y/N, wake up.” He said softly, trying to snap you out of whatever nightmare was haunting you. When you didn't respond, he sat on the edge of the bed and called your name again, his voice soft but insistent.

Finally, your eyes opened and you looked at him, disoriented and shaken. "Suguru?" You whispered, your voice shaking.

"It's okay, you're safe." He reassured you, his hand resting gently on your arm. “You were having a nightmare.”

You took a deep breath, trying to steady yourself as the remnants of the nightmare began to fade.

“Thank you.” You murmured, feeling a wave of relief wash over you.

Suguru gave you a reassuring smile. "Do you want to talk about it?" He asked softly, ready to listen if you needed to share.

You shook your head slightly. “Not now…” You replied, voice still a little shaky. "I just... I just need a moment."

He nodded, understanding. "Take all the time you need. I'm going to go get a glass of water for you to drink." He said in a warm, soothing voice.

Suguru watched you for a moment longer before deciding to head to the kitchen. He could see, despite the darkness of the room, that you were pale and beads of sweat were running down your forehead.

"I'll be right back." He said quietly, wanting to give you some space to calm down.

You nodded slightly, still curled up in bed, hugging Blue and trying to calm the agitation in your body. The cat's soft purring offered some comfort as you focused on your breathing, willing your heart rate to slow down.

Suguru moved quickly but silently through the house, his mind racing with worry. He grabbed a glass from the cupboard and filled it with water; the coolness of the liquid offered a brief respite from her worry. As he walked back to your room, he couldn't help but think of the anguish he had seen on your face.

When he re-entered the room, he walked over to the bed and handed you the glass of water. "Take it." He said softly. “Drink this. It might help you feel a little better.”

You took the glass with trembling hands, sipping the water slowly. The cold liquid helped soothe her patchy throat and gave her a small amount of relief. Suguru sat on the edge of the bed, looking at you with a worried expression.

"Do you want to talk about it?" He asked softly, her voice filled with genuine care.

You shook your head, still feeling too shaken to put the nightmare into words. "It's not important." You murmured. “Can you just stay with me for a little while?”

Suguru held your gaze and gently nodded. "Of course. I'm not going anywhere."

As you breathed deeply and focused on Suguru and Blue's calming presence, you felt the agitation slowly begin to fade.

"Thank you." You whispered, feeling a little more at peace with each passing moment. You hesitated for a moment but finally spoke out. “I used to have this kind of nightmares when I was a kid.” Suguru turned to look at you. “When I was a teenager they stopped, but I guess now they are back.”

“You want to tell me about them? Maybe that way you can feel better.” Suguru suggested looking at you with kind eyes.

“I…” You breathed in. “I just remember being a nurse and we were surrendered by smoke and fire, it was the First World War, I think. And…” You swallowed. “Well I died.” You made a face with a shrug.

“Y/n…” He carefully approached you and caressed your arm gently.

“It felt too real Suguru… it was like I was really dying.” Suguru wrapped his arm around you and held you close to him, you felt safe being enveloped by his presence and warm touch.

“It was a nightmare, now you are here and everything is okay.” You nodded against his chest, feeling calmer thanks to his presence next to you.

Suguru stayed by your side, gently stroking your back until he felt your breathing become heavier, indicating that you had fallen into a deep sleep. He looked at your face and her eyes traced the familiar pattern of the nine freckles that adorned your skin. Together they formed a constellation, a unique map that he wanted to know and discover.

He smiled to himself, feeling a sense of calm wash over him. Watching you sleep peacefully gave him a feeling of relief and satisfaction.

With one last tender look at your serene face, Suguru closed his eyes, hoping that this time he too would find some rest.

˖✧˖°.✶₊ ⊹ ⋆˖✧˖°.✶₊ ⊹ ⋆

“Let’s get married after the war is over. And move to a cabin away from everything and everyone, just you and me.”

˖✧˖°.✶₊ ⊹ ⋆˖✧˖°.✶₊ ⊹ ⋆

Suguru opened his eyes, surprised when the alarm sounded. You stirred in his arms, reaching out to grab your phone and turning it off. The room filled with morning light, casting a soft glow over everything.

Realizing the intimate situation you were in, Suguru quickly removed his arms from around you and sat on the bed, a light blush creeping up his cheeks. "I'm sorry." He said softly, feeling a little uncomfortable.

You turned to look at him, a sleepy smile on your face. "It's okay, Suguru. Thank you for staying with me."

He nodded, still a little nervous. "I just wanted to make sure you were okay."

"I apreciate it." You replied. “I slept better knowing you were here.”

Suguru's shoulders relaxed a little at your words and he gave you a small, reassuring smile. "I'm glad to hear that."

Suguru stood up and stretched a little. "Do you need anything this morning? Breakfast or coffee?" You said as you also stood up.

Suguru shook his head. "No, I'm fine. Just… thank you for letting me spend the night here."

You shook your head without giving it much importance. "Don’t worry." You uttered softly, before leaving the room, followed by Blue.

Suguru looked at your back and a strange feeling settled in his chest. A feeling of nostalgia and longing that he did not very well understand. He stood from the bed and followed your steps, finding you in the kitchen.

“You have to go to work right?” Suguru said sitting on the chair that you had there.

“Yeah, today is Friday so we might have more people than usual.” You smiled at him. “What about you?” You looked at him. “You will call someone so you can enter your house.”

Suguru caught a little bit and smiled. “Yeah, yeah I will call a friend of mine.”

“You can use my phone.” You said and Suguru looked at you confused. “You know, you told me you didn’t have a phone so… you can just use mine.”

It was then that Suguru was shocked, he had told you that he didn't have a cell phone that's why you offered it to him. “Oh!” Suguru exclaimed. “Don’t worry, it's okay.” He tried not to raise suspicions and act normal.

You hesitantly nodded and turned to finish preparing the bowl of food for Blue, who was waiting impatiently. Suguru watched your movements and the smile that appeared on your face as you bent down and stroked your cat's head.

“You want something for breakfast?” You asked him.

“A coffee it’s fine.” He smiled.

You nodded. “Just so you know my machine is old and almost broken, so it won’t be as good as the coffee you take at the coffee shop.” You said while moving around the kitchen.

“I’m sure it will be good.” Suguru said following you with his gaze.

“You will say that regardless if it’s good or bad right.” You said putting the coffee in front of him.

“I will be honest with you if it’s bad.” He picked up the cup with his fingers and took a small sip.

You didn't have to ask him if he liked me or not because his face told you everything you needed to know.

Suguru closed his eyes tightly and swallowed with difficulty. "I told you." You whispered. “I'll buy you a coffee in the store.”

Suguru looked at you. “Don't you think you've invited me and been nice enough to me already?”

You shook your head as you walked to the room. "I do not think so." You smiled from the door. “Now I'm going to change and I'm going to make you the best coffee in the world in the store.”

You closed the door behind you and Suguru sighed with a smile forming on his face. "Is it always like that?" He asked Blue, who was looking at him with her blue eyes wide open. “I guess she is.” He chuckled still remembering your big smile before disappearing into your room.

But part of Suguru’s mind couldn’t shake that strange and new feeling he was experiencing with you. Also your nightmares, the way you talked about them, they didn’t seem like normal nightmares.

Suguru swallowed, thinking of a remote possibility, but that couldn't be it. Too many years had passed, it was not possible that he was behind your nightmares or the agonizing moment you had experienced last night. As far as he knew, after his defeat a thousand years ago by…

The door to the room opened again and you walked out of it with a wide smile. You were wearing jeans and a blue blouse.

"Let’s go? That coffee is not going to prepare itself.” You said grabbing your bag.

Suguru nodded and raised from the chair he was sitting at. “Bye bye Blue.” Suguru smiled at the cat.

“Be good Blue, until mom comes back.” You told the cat before opening the door and existing with Suguru following your steps.

Suguru followed your steps through the building and out onto the street. The cold air of the spring morning greeted you, mixing with the first rays of sunlight filtering through the tall buildings around you. The city was just beginning to wake up.

Without saying much, they both walked side by side, heading towards the subway stop that would take them to work. The silence between you was comfortable.

As you walked, you looked at Suguru and noticed the calm expression on his face. His presence was calming, a firm anchor in the morning rush.

When you arrived at the subway stop, you went down the stairs and waited for the train. The platform was starting to fill with other travelers, but at that moment, it felt like it was just the two of you.

When the train arrived and you both got on, trying to make your way through the people that filled the car. Suguru grabbed your arm and pulled you close to him and covered you with his body while giving you some space. Looking up you found him looking sharply to the sides.

Suguru, for his part, was looking for a figure that he had seemed to recognize in that carriage, one that had made his heart want to jump out of his chest. But when he realized that the presence of that figure was not there, he relaxed and looked down to meet his eyes, which were looking at him from below.

Embarrassed, you turned your head and leaned your head against the window, feeling the cold glass against your skin, and closed your eyes for a moment.

Suguru's hand lightly brushed yours and you opened your eyes to see him giving you a small and warm mile. You returned the gesture, feeling a warmth spread through you. Your trip to work used to be monotonous and full of rush but that morning had become special.

As the train approached the stop, Suguru grabbed your hand again and you both left the metro. Suguru didn’t let your hand go even when both of you were outside the station.

Arriving at your work you stood in front and opened the door with the keys, letting Suguru in. It was still early and Yuji would take a while to arrive, so you could take that time for yourselves.

“Do you also make the cupcakes that you sell?” Suguru asked.

“No, it would be too much work for Yuji and me, an outside company sells it to us.” You explained, as you turned on the coffee maker. “It's a small store and well our boss decided to collaborate with them. So every morning before opening they bring us freshly made cakes.” You smiled.

“What happens if you run out?”

“We usually order more and if there are leftovers we take them home or give them to the last customers of the day, but the pastry shop comes twice a day, once in the morning and once in the afternoon.”

“Is the cafeteria also open in the afternoon?” Suguru followed your figure.

You nodded, taking one of the cups. “Yes, but I'm not on that shift.” You placed the cup in front of Suguru and poured the milk first and then the coffee. "Voilà!" You sang with a smile.

“Looks great.” Suguru smiled and took the coffee cup between his hands, taking a small sip.

Suguru closed his eyes and enjoyed the taste of the hot coffee going down his throat. The coffees he had had over the years had been mostly good, but the one you made was exceptionally good. Like it had a secret ingredient that made him addicted to it.

“You need to change that old coffee machine in your apartment.” He joked, opening his eyes and looking at you.

You grinned and nodded. “You might be right. That way I can make sure you want to come back to my apartment?” You joked although in that joke there was the hidden desire of wanting to continue meeting Suguru.

“Maybe…” Suguru rested his chin on his hand and followed you with his gaze, noticing the slight blush on your cheeks.

It felt good to be that way, to talk to you that way, to joke around, to have a cup of coffee. Suguru felt really alive and it was all thanks to you. He still didn't quite understand why you weren't affected by the curse but he just hoped it would last.

The door to the store opened and you both turned to see who it was. Suguru recognized him instantly, he was your coworker, the cheerful pink-haired boy.

“Yuji!” You greeted with a smile. "Good morning."

“Oh…” The boy looked at you both surprised. “Good morning, have you come before?”

You nodded. “I owed Suguru a coffee.” Yuji looked strangely at Suguru and then at you. “He is the customer who comes here every morning.” You told Yuji.

Yuji scratched his head. “Sorry, I don't remember.” You frowned. “Yesterday the three of us were talking momentarily.” But Yuji shook his head without having much idea.

“It’s okay." Suguru gently grabbed your hand and you felt your whole body calm under his touch. “It's normal, you see many faces and talk to many people during the day.” He smiled at you.

“Yeah… sorry Yuji.” You said, a bit embarrassed.

“It’s okay.” He smiled at you. “I will go to get changed.”

Suguru stood up from his place. “I think it is time for me to go.”

He wanted to stay more but he knew your coworker would ask once again who he was and you would get suspicious about him.

“Already?” You turned to look at him with a sad expression.

“Yeah, I need to fix the problem with my keys.”

“Oh, yeah right.” You played with your hands nervously wanting to ask him something. “Can we see each other again?” You finally said it.

Suguru smiled. “Of course.” His voice came calmly and more softly than usually.

“Good… Hmm.” You thought for a moment. “Tomorrow it’s my free day.”

“It’s at 10 fine for you?” Suguru proposed.

“At 10? Yeah it’s perfect.” You smiled.

“Good then I will be waiting for you outside your apartment at 10.” He smiled and you smiled back at him. “See you.”

“Yes.” You waved at him and watched as he exited the store.

With a smile on your face you turned and began to prepare everything for the day. Tomorrow you would have a date with Suguru again and you couldn't be happier, you felt your heart racing and you wanted time to pass so that 10 in the morning arrived the next day.

“You seem happy.” Yuji appeared from the back door.

“Yeah.” You smiled. “I have a date tomorrow.”

“Oh really, with who? Do I know them?” He said also preparing the things to open the store.

“Yeah, with Suguru.” You said cheerfully, Yuji turned and looked at you with his eyebrow raised. “Yuji… the boy who was here.” Yuji was thoughtful.

“When I arrived you were alone, there was no guy.” He said walking past you, with a stack of cups in his hands.

“What are you talking about Yuji? You have greeted him and spoken to him, he is a regular customer here.”

“I'm pretty clueless, but I think I’d remember if I did that.” He laughed subtly. “Let’s not fight over this, the first customers are here.” He pointed at the door.

“Right…” You looked down and you bit your lip.

You didn't understand why Yuji was playing that joke on you, it didn't make any sense Yuji wasn't like that, so why did he act as if Suguru didn't exist. Did Yuji have something against Suguru and that's why he acted like this?

You shook your head and put on the best of your smiles to face that day and that way your long-awaited date with Suguru would arrive as soon as possible.

—comment if you want to be tagged

🏷️: @drownedpoetess @aducksmokingquack @walkingtravesty97 @pdacex @zhenyuuu @n1vi @blendingcaramal @mimiixen @bbyxxm @paprikaquinn @my1fx @alwaysfreakingout @simplysm1le @lavender-hvze @ghostkat23 @lveegsoi @madaqueue @katsukisbitch @tbzzluvr @that-one-xachster

[megumiwifeyy]

You said you would come back?

Featuring: Megumi x Reader,pure angst ☹️ megumi and reader is in a relationship (reader is dead ) (is my first fine writing an actual fanfic and just pure angst so this will suck and might not make sense ☠️😭) (this is quite based on the song Fourth of July) (gojo and shoko is in the end)

Warnings: Pure angst? Megumi is with your corpse in a morgue room,scars and bruises on reader dead body,megumi and reader is like in their second year in Jujutsu High and like this is my first time writing a angst fanfic so this is probably cringe IM SORRY FORGIVE ME☠️😭 there’s probably grammar mistakes and spelling mistakes..pretend u didn’t see that..

Feel free to reblog and sent request!!

Megumi Anxiously clenched his fist.

He looked at your cold body, scars and bruises all over your body. It was hard to look at.

He was alone in the morgue, Gojo informed him that you..didn’t successfully..finished the mission. After he was informed,he quickly ran to the morgue where Shoko worked in. Now here he is, looking at your dead body. It hurts him.

You fought a special grade curse, you weren’t as strong as the special grade curse of course, you were only a grade 2 sorcerer after all.

Megumi was..mad. Very Mad.

He didn’t get why they didn’t have Yuuta or someone else to go do the mission. Why did they have to have you do the mission instead?

His last memory of you was 2 days before your mission, before your death.

FlashBack:

“I will be fine megs I will come back in no time and make it out alive,I promise!” You spoke, not wanting to worry your boyfriend, you honestly didn’t know would you make it out alive this mission or not.

Megumi gave you a worried look, but he decided to trust you that you will be fine..

You smiled, as you gave him a kiss on the cheeks,as you left to go to your mission. Giving him your finale goodbyes to each other.

End of Flashback

Megumi shouldn’t really have trusted you huh..?

Tears streamed down the boy face. Megumi tired his best to not be loud, as he didn’t want to he heard sobbing quietly.

As he touched your hands, it wasn’t warm anymore. It was Cold.

He couldn’t believe he will lose your warmth, your welcoming smile and your comfort forever. He couldn’t believe he lost you forever.

You promised him that you will come back right? You should be alive and well comforting him right now, scolding him that’s he’s crying and that he shouldn’t.

As Megumi Cried, his sobs got louder and a bit louder per minute.

Meanwhile outside the morgue room..

“The kid is experiencing these type of things around this age is honestly..just sad.” Gojo spoke tiredly, feeling bad for Megumi.

“Don’t act like you didn’t experience something like this with Him before” Shoko replied, lighting up a cigarette as she spoke.

Gojo chuckled softly, as he spoke “yeah, your right.”

…

—————————————————————————————

IM SORRY IF THIS SUCKED IM GENUINELY SORRY😭 PEASE FORGIVE ME🙏🙏

[bloodyjuls-blog]

Goodbye my lover

Leah Williamson X Reader (y/n)

I suggest to listen to this song: goodbye my lover by James Blunt.

⚠️Warning ⚠️ Angst, sad. The baby's picture makes sense but it's not related to sadness story with the baby.

"Y/n this can't continue like this, things have changed a lot and I think the best thing for us is to get divorced"... Leah said very seriously while y/n's tears began to form around her eyes.

"If that's what you want, that's fine, but let it be clear that I wanted to fight against everything and be able to make you and the little one happy" I said between sobs. To tell the truth, my mental health was in shit, in the deepest hole, and the fact that I now have to go through a divorce makes it much worse. What worries me most lately is my physical health has also worsened and Leah's anger towards me makes our friends hate me, not to mention my job at the club. It is more than logical that I will not be able to continue there.

Flashback

"Hey y/n, I want to talk to you about something, please come with me to the office," Jonas says calmly, like always. Once in the office "what I wanted to tell you is that as a club we are not going to tolerate any type of bad behavior not only at the level of colleagues and even less tolerate how you emotionally affect Leah and your son, we understand that you are going through hard times but I insist, Your behavior has bothered the management, and much to my regret I have to tell you that we no longer want you to be part of this squad, we wish you luck in everything and you have today to take your things. Regarding your settlement, you will be effective in a couple of weeks with the respective compensation" says Jonas seriously. "But Jonas, my personal things here have nothing to do with it," I said, a little shocked because I didn't feel like there was a logical reason to kick me out. I got ready to pick up my things while the girls were at the gym and I went home.

What a bad taste all that had left in my mouth. Once at home, I sit on the couch and watch any boring series while it's dinner time. I know Leah is having dinner with Lia while I talk to my agent about what happened.

Hours later Leah arrives with the little one and I smiled when I saw him, so beautiful and he is only 3 months old. My little one. I reached out to pick up the child. "Leah, I assume you know what happened today?" I commented to her, a little upset but hiding it because of the baby. "Yes, I made the suggestion and I don't regret it," she says, super annoyed. "But why did you do it?" I say a bit borderline. "Your life is getting out of your hands and you're not doing anything, this can't go on like this, I don't even want to see you in this house anymore. You know what? take your things and leave. Don't come back, eveeeer..."

End of the flashback

And here I am, in a park with the car parked while I think about what I'm going to do considering that she didn't even let me take out a coat or my wallet and my cell phone is about to turn off. While my mind was assimilating what was happening to me, I felt a very strong pain in my chest but I deduced that it was due to the stress of the situation. "When I thought I had it all, I ended up ruining it" "I'm worthless" "I couldn't take care of my family" "I'm sure she has someone else" "Will I ever see my child again?" "Arsenal realized that I was a failure as a footballer and decided to kick me out" "where will I go if I don't have anyone" "the girls at the club surely bow down to the captain" and more thoughts circulated through my mind as I cried and was consumed by the cold. It was clear that Leah's car had the best heating.

I decided to take the reins and go to a hotel and that has been 3 months ago. I can't stop thinking about how everyone is doing, the child, my wife or well, ex-wife, Amanda, Jacob, and all the people I appreciate even though they don't like me right now. I see my name in trashy magazines, that I take drugs, that I'm a slut, a drunk, etc. And the truth is that my behavior is erratic because most times during the day I am overthinking and I am attacked by remorse that leaves me at my lowest and so asleep. As if she were gone. I get a message from Leah...

My all and more <3

Y/n I need you to come home so I can serve you with the divorce papers so we can decide custody of the child.

I read the message with great sadness because that was not what I wanted for my little one. I have always idealized a happy family with everything it implies. How wrong I was.

I head to Leah's house and see a car in the garage that I've never seen before, nor did it belong to any girl at the club.

I rang the bell and a girl comes out with Sage in her arms "hello, good, eh, is Leah here?" "Are you the babysitter?" I ask timidly and softly. "No, you must be y/n her ex-wife?" "My pleasure, I'm Sophie, Leah's new partner, come into the living room and she'll come down," she tells me, between annoyed and angry. I head to the living room of what was once my home. "Hey Sophie, can I hold Sage?" She said calmly. "Of course not, Leah has given me orders not to do it" she tells me a little harshly. "Leah what?" "Girl, I'm the little one's mother and I have the same rights as her, you're crazy, let me take the little one please" "no y/n, you don't understand" and she goes with the baby to the second floor.

Leah comes down and looks quite upset.

"Hello y/n, as I told you in the message, here are the documents, sign them and you are free, what do you think about custody?" She says so calmly and taciturnly that it seems strange to me. I feel dizzy and with the same incessant pain in my chest, I want this to end now "whatever you think is appropriate, in the end you are the one who lives with him, but I want to see the baby" I said seriously. "You're not going to see it, and I think you should give me full custody, since I see that you don't even have a job, there's no point in being the perfect mom when you haven't even been able to maintain that," she tells me angrily. I feel more dizzy than before "You're absolutely right, apparently the baby wants a lot of Sophie and I'm no longer relevant to this family" I said a little hurt by the whole situation. "I'm going to let you see the baby today while you sign everything and then you forget about us," Leah says as she calls Sophie. Once I have Sage in my arms, I pamper him, give him kisses, hugs and gestures of love that will never come back. While I'm with the little one I feel like I'm slowly running out of air but I play dumb so I don't have to leave and raise suspicions about what's happening. The only person who knows is Lucy and Ona for obvious reasons. "Leah, can you bring me a glass of water please?" I said very slowly so she wouldn't notice my body discomfort. When she approaches with the glass I prepare to take it and she tells me in a worried tone "you look a little pale, are you okay?" "Yes, of course, I'm just a little tired, this child is very big and doesn't stop" "It's been a while since he was just born, I can't believe it" I say between nostalgia, sadness, concern for everything that is happening to me. "Oh okay" Leah tells me very calmly.

I feel a very strong puncture on the left side of my body, in my arm exactly. And the most sensible decision I make is to hand the child to Leah and prepare to leave. "Well Leah, it's time to go. I want you to know that you are doing very well as a mother. I know that the child will have a good education and upbringing. I would have liked to be a part of everything a little more but hey, that's life. And I hope you forgive me for not being enough. I know I never was. I hope with all my heart that your plans work out for you and you can be everything you set out to be" I say with labored breathing, tears but mostly because of the pain in the chest and arm that makes it impossible for me to stay upright. "It's a shame that everything ended like this, thank you for signing and for thinking about the little one's well-being," she says happily, as if he had lifted a weight off her shoulders. At that moment I noticed the hindrance I was causing to her. Not even 3 months and she had already found another one. I thought that while I moved my left arm and wrist to see if the pain would go away a little, nothing. I get up and go to the baby, I give him a kiss and wipe the tears from my eyes, I try to appear calm that I don't have inside.

And that's when the puncture makes me double over, but I try to hide it while I get in the car to head to my hotel. Which I can't because once I'm sitting behind the wheel I get more punctures in my heart and my breathing decreases drastically. For me it could have been an hour or five, the truth is I wasn't paying attention. What is true is that when I finally manage to get going, my heart feels strange, I was sweating as if I had played 90 more games, I felt tight, everything was burning. My neck, my back, my head, everything hurt and I was spinning. I felt strange, like I was in another body, my body is generally healthy. What was the purpose of all this, having depression, getting divorced, losing my son, my wife, missing the baby's first months, where he doesn't even consider me his mother. Losing my job, my friends, my club, my football. I couldn't take it anymore. I don't know how but I managed to get to the hotel and I feel like I'm on the verge of something strong, my heart hurts too much and not just because of the losses, physically too. And a lot. I'm starting to notice that my back is falling asleep, my arms feel weak. I decided to call the only person who knows what to do "come on Lucy, answer gal, damn it" I say to myself when I see that she doesn't answer me. I look at the clock and see the time is 3 in the morning. I know I'm having a massive heart attack but I can't do anything, I can't move. I call Leah and she answers me super angry "what do you want y/n?" "I wanted to hear your voice one last time, I'm sorry things ended like this, I wish you the best" I said, choked by pain. "You look strange, are you on drugs or something?" She says upset. "No, no. Forget it, I shouldn't have called you, it might be too late (not referring the hour but the life)" I said in a small voice. And I hung up and turned off the phone. I lay flat on the bed and fell unconscious with the only memory of an angry Leah and a wasted life.

[monstress]

arcane s2 thoughts

prayinggg we get a no soundtrack version because while i do like a few of the tracks (yes even Enemy!!!), there are more duds than hits and they take me out each time

also obviously i'm a Jinx Is Alive truther because of the ending scene of cait staring at the air ducts to the hextech tower fiddling with a fragment of her bomb...come on. jinx has said in the start of the season that she wanted to leave piltover/zaun and with isha gone and her sister happy, she can finally do that

i am very invested in jinx and vi's relationship so when jinx without any hesitation chose to let herself go from vi's grasp and destroy warwick (both something that vi could not do) which in one fell swoop legitimizes her agency, protects vi from a monster, saves vander from eternal hell - i'm like yea...[sniffs] that's a redemption arc baby

jinx and vi. piltover and zaun. they'll always be sisters...yea....

i admire the open ending with the airship. but she did say she'll ride one of those things one day. yay.

maybe an unpopular opinion but i liked cait this season. finally some bite and controversy and trauma to her choices. she was way tooooo comfortable in s1. while she's still a cop, at least she's interesting now!

also ok....yelled and hollered when lesbian sex is finally happening. rejoice guys - i thought we will never get it

the writing pace of this show is bonkers and i understand they need to keep it tight because of animation budget but what the helllllll was that viktor machine herald speedrun. it felt like it needed a good one more season to incubate and i was overwhelmed with that + jayce's heel turn + mel's superpower reveal like hold on hold the fuck onnnnnn what does this meannnnnn

gay sex in hextech void deus ex machina goes crazy tho

like oh yeah i am cosmically tied to only one man in this world and he alone can guide me to the error of my ways in any universe

ok!

mel being the most specialest princess in the entire world seems right imo. i can easily be riled up to sycophantic fervor to serve in her army just say the word ma'am 🫡

let's not forget the tragic irony that Mel was exiled by her mother and has tried to carve her own path through diplomacy and peace in defiance but ends up finding herself sitting in her mother's steel ship in her colors with her army with so much power in her veins and now leaves the city she loved that her mother ruined too. mel merdada one of the characters of all time......

and i am a number one sap so!!!!!!! the flashback scenes this season got me hurting real bad. when i thought i was devastated by Remember Me...here comes s2e7 to punch me in the gut

the fact happiness and normalcy was possible for powder...the fact that powder will never use hexcore because of what happened to vi and it made all the difference. vi's death unknowingly protecting her sister (and the world!) from beyond the grave...i am sobbing my eyes out

also as a season one timebomb shipper, thank youuuu arcane writers i didnt expect this at ALLLLLLLLLL???? it was written like everyone knows they were an item except themselves??? i have done nothing to deserve this but thank you

UPDATE: i hv been informed that they are already dating in the alternative universe from background details. even more delicious

i am just happy to be here and prepared to be devastated

vanderco Real. like don't even waste your breath to say they aren't when they look like they are glowing in domestic bliss. what's some light stabbing and drowning between married couples amirite fellas

claggor and mylo!!!! i didn't expect to get emotional seeing them since idrc but seeing them grown up like ohhhh these are vi and jinx's brothers...and they'll never know this life...okay.....

the alternative timeline pretty much put a bandaid to the pain and suffering for the past 2 seasons and as contrast for more suffering. i love it. the writers are so diabolical

heimerdinger sacrificing himself for ekko is ok for me lol idc abt him goodbye cheesepuff

i still need to process the Ambessa vs MelCait fight. im quite sure there's some great parallels there

but Ambessa as a character is sooooo fascinating. while i hv qualms making a prominently Black character be an imperalist warlord (othering her with her accent too), Ambessa i fear is so so very cool and i was slightly rooting for her ngl like i can't hate a cunning ambitious woman it's against my nature!!!!!

i am gonna think abt mel holding up ambessa like repin's painting of ivan the terrible for a longggg time

side note: i love that sevika finally got what silco wanted all along - a seat at the (council)table. like that's my wifeeeeeee. lib ending i know i know since the best ending is a free state of zaun but like narrative wise it would notttt make sense at the point of time. but also since they never confirmed anything, i wanna say they'll have a go at dismantling the power structure that is oppressing zaun with sevika keeping an eye on it. not a perfect solution but i'll take it rather than leave it

so will i watch another show on LoL?

mmmm.......anyways guys watch Penelope of Sparta!

[beybaldes]

the woman that loves you (boy you're such a fool)

Eddie Roundtree x Fem!Reader

djats masterlist

Word Count : 3.1k

Summary : the end of the band is just the beginning for y/n and her favourite bassist.

normal = flashbacks ,, italics = interviews

Warning!! I have not read the book or the show!!! All info I have gathered has been from other x readers I have read. sorry in advance if I have butchered your fav show/book because i have plainly made shit up in favour of satiating my own need for more Eddie fics xoxo

Y/n: I think about that last day all the time. I think about everything I should've said or done. But I don't think it would've changed anything honestly - everyone seemed pretty set on what they wanted for the band. Who was I to change that?

your legs pulled from warrens lap, quickly jumping from you seat and running out of the bus, desperate to reach the cab before it could pull out and take Eddie away. whatever was out there had been on your side, your hard pull open of the door stopping the driver from leaving as he put it into gear and got ready to leave.

"I'm so sorry" you said to the grey haired man in the front seat, turned to Eddie with a creased brow. "I'll only be a minute."

"birdie..." he hummed, pushing his sunglasses away from his eyes, letting them meet your own. "let me go, I need to leave, I can't stay here - not with Billy, not after everything."

"I'm not asking you to stay, Ed's." You murmured, tears brimming your eyes as you placed one knee into the cab, tucking yourself into the crook of his neck, one arm holding the door open. "I know that's not fair. I just don't want you to leave without saying goodbye."

Though you couldn't see it, tears began to pool in eddies eyes at the way your voice trembled and your words came out in a whisper - like a little kid too upset to really get the words out. When he'd packed up his things and called the cab he had only thought about leaving, getting away from all of it and getting to be his own person - he'd yet to consider that he'd be leaving some of his nearest and dearest friends behind in doing so. That he'd be leaving you behind.

Eddie: I'd never done anything as hard as leaving the band. At least not until y/n stopped the cab to speak to me.

"I got to go birdie, I got a plane to catch." soon half a continent would separate you, something so scary when for the last decade you'd only been a street, a room or a curtain away at all times.

"Just gimme one more moment." You tried to savour the feel of his arms around you, holding your body tight and close as if it was the last time he was going to do so. 'it probably was the last time he was going to do so,' the thought made your stomachs churn and your whimpers boarder on full on sobs. If it weren't for the fact you wanted your last moments together to be happy, you would've just let it all out, cry into his arms like the little kid your rise to fame never let you be. "Just one more moment."

Camilla: Y/n. She, she was always the closest with Eddie. They were like two peas in a pod - I don't think I'd ever seen one without the other somewhere nearby.

With a particularly tight squeeze, you pulled away, knowing that no hug would last long enough to satiate the longing ache already settled deep in the pit of your stomach.

Eddie was quick to wipe at the tears that silently rolled down your cheeks, his large hand cupping your face as his thumb stroked across the apple of your red cheek. "I'm gonna miss you, birdie."

"Not as much as I'm gonna miss you, Ed's." You pressed a kiss to the corner of his mouth, trying to tell him everything you didn't have the time to say in what could easily be passed off as a misjudgement of closeness. "Please don't be a stranger."

Eddie didn't say anything else. He let you close the cab door and stand on the side of the pavement, watching as he drove off and away from the six, away from you. Only when the cab was out of sight did either of you let the tears fall, not wanting the other to be saddened by your own heartbreak. Though, when had goodbyes ever been easy?

Billy: Y/n had always been a sensitive girl. But the band had been her whole world - each of us, we, had been her whole world. I think it truly broke her when the band broke up that day.

Furiously you wiped at your tears, trying to clear your face before you returned to your seat on the tour bus, knowing now that it was unlikely the six would continue past this moment, and that more goodbyes would probably be in order. You could cry it all out on the flight you were sure you'd have to book later today.

Making your way back to the tour bus, you silently got back on, not even making it to your seat before you broke down in tears again. Your knees couldn't hold your weight any longer, and as you began to sink to the floor, Warren was quick to spring from his seat, wrapping you in his arms and lowering you to the floor at a gentle pace. He gently stroked his fingers through your hair, shushing you as the pair of you rocked back and forth on the floor of the tour bus. Karen was quick to join the two of you, pressing a kiss to your temple and letting her own tears fall in the group hug containing the final members of the 6.

Y/n: Karen and Warren - I'd always been good fiends with them. But that day, on the bus, it became something different then. They're my best friends in the world now. Karen was the maid of honour at my wedding. I did ask Warren but he refused, claiming it only made sense for it to be Karen.

"It's okay sweet girls." Warren whispered to the two girls that were now cradled in his arms, all three of the in a mess of limbs and tears on the floor of the tour bus. "Everything's going to be okay."

"Warren had been right of course." You paused with a smile, waiting for Julia to adjust the camera so that both you and Eddie fit into the frame; his arm wrapped around your waist pulling you into his side, a kiss pressed to your temple after which he gazed down at you lovingly. "Everything was okay, in the end. Eddie called me the second he landed back in Pittsburgh, correctly guessing I'd still be on the tour bus with Warren and Karen."

"Thank god I'd been right (about the tour bus)." Eddie smiled, pressing another kiss to your temple, relishing in the feel of his arm that was around your waist, knowing he'd never have to lose that feeling as long as he played his cards right. "I don't know what I'd have done if she hadn't picked up. If I'd lost her for good."

"Hello." You murmured into the phone, the loud ringing having woke you from your sleep. Thankfully, Warren and Karen were still asleep to your right, the ringing noise not waking them after the exhaustion of getting through such an eventful and emotional day. "Who is it?"

"Birdie..."

You sat upright at the voice on the other end of the line, sleep vanishing from your eyes. "Eddie." You whined, fingers scratching at the phone as if you could claw you way through it and into his arms. "I miss you."

"I know birdie, I miss you too."

"How'd you know to call here?" You and Karen were crashing in Warrens room, the three of you too upset to be left alone and not wanting to pay for three separate rooms when money was now going to be an issue.

"I figured you'd end up in bed with Warren, or Karen, or both. I called each room until you picked up." A soft smile graced your features at the thought of Eddie calling every room until he found you. He knew you so well. "I'm back in Pittsburgh, I want you to come with me."

It had taken Eddie seconds to realise the mistake he'd made in leaving the band. Not in the way of leaving the band, but rather in the way it meant leaving you, too. But his cab was going and his flight had been paid for.

"I... I love you, birdie." Eddie whispered, unsure if he was allowed to say such words after how hard he'd made you cry just hours before. "I don't want to not have you in my life. And I'm not calling just because I need someone right now, or because I regret leaving the band. I'm calling because I love you, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you in it, and when you realise that you do something about it."

Eddies words had you shocked to silence, his voice calling out for you several times in the moments that you took to process what he'd just said. "Birdie, please say something."

"I'll tell you I love you too when you pick me up from the airport tomorrow at 11."

You could feel the smile that filled Eddies face through the phone.

"Am or Pm?"

Your hand interlinked with Eddies as you let your head fall to his shoulder, wrapped up in the memory of your first day out of the band. "It was difficult to say goodbye to Karen, her flight going back to England when both mine and Warren's were going back to Pittsburgh. It hurt a lot to see her go."

"I was in tears the whole flight." Karen laughed, wiping away a stray tear as she recalled when you and Warren left her at the gate to get your own flight. "But I called y/n as soon as I landed, and she told me she'd already booked flights to come and visit in a month. She's always been so good to me, to all of us, like that."

You'd slept on Warren's shoulder for most of the flight, his head atop yours as your dreamt about what life would bring going forward. Neither of you wanted to stay in Pittsburgh, but knew it was right for the moment, to take a deep breath and remind yourself of who you were before the band - without the band. Warren's long-time girlfriend, Lisa, had been the first person you saw once you escaped baggage claim, her running into his arms the moment she spotted him, but not forgetting to give you a hug of your own and a kiss to your cheek.

"My girl now, Rojas." You teased, pulling Lisa into side hug, hear head falling to your shoulder with a bright smile.

"Already forgetting about me?" You were quick to turn around at the sound of Eddie's voice, dropping your luggage and crashing into his arms, pressing kisses to his cheeks again and again, only stopping when he placed two fingers under your jaw and turned you to face him, finally giving you a real kiss after years of dancing around each other.

"Finally!" Warren shouted, head thrown back in laughter as he watched the two of you address all those lingering looks and hugs and touches that had happened over the past few years. "I better be invited to the wedding!"

"She told you that?" Warren scoffed, pulling the lit cigarette from his mouth, tapping the burnt butt into his ash tray before replacing it between his lips. "I only refused to be her maid of honour because Eddie asked me to be his best man first. How could I say no to being her maid of honour otherwise?"

"I love you too." You gasped out, pulling away from the kiss with Eddie. "I love you too. I love you so damn much it keeps me up at night, you're all I think about, all the time."

"I love you even more then that, birdie." Eddie nuzzled his nose against yours, quick to pull you in for another kiss that had Warren shouting at the pair of you to 'get a room.'

"Y/n did fulfil her promise." Karen nodded, thinking about her life long friendship with the brunette she'd met by chance. "She came to visit three weeks later. I was so excited. We spent a lot of time taking about the solo career I'd been planning for myself and how she could come along, be my opener for the American leg of the tour I would hopefully do - I didn't even notice the ring on her finger until her third day there!"

"I proposed the same night she got back to Pittsburgh. The girl had just flown halfway across the country cause she didn't know how to be without me, and I'd practically begged her to do it because I didn't know how to live without her. How could not?" Eddie retold with a soft smile gracing his features. It was one of the things you'd come to love the most in his old age; how soft and loving his features were when we wasn't stressing about the six, or Billy.

"I can't believe you came all this way, for me." Eddie mused later that night, the two of you face to face in his childhood bed, not wanting to fall asleep in fear this would all be some dream.

"How could I not?" You asked, pulling one of your hands out from beneath the duvet, pushing a strand of Eddies overgrown hair out of his eyes and safely behind his ear, careful to avoid brushing against the black eye nursing on his cheek. "Like you said, Ed's, I want to spend the rest of my life with you in it. Why would I wait to start the rest of my life when I could start it right now?"

Eddie pressed a hot and firm kiss to your lips, pulling away and resting his forehead against you own, a lovesick smile gracing his face. "You're exactly right birdie. Exactly right." Another series of kisses were pressed all over your face, starting at your lips, moving to your cheeks, then your forehead and back to your lips again. "Why wait when forever can start right now?"

Eddie pulled off one of his rings, holding it out in the small gap between the two of you. "Marry me."

It hadn't been a question.

"I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I have no doubt in that. And I know more then anything, I want the rest of my life to start right now; I've spent years not doing that, and I don't want to wait another day. Marry me."

"It was quite the bold ask." You giggled, curling into Eddies side with a bright smile. "But who could say no to such a face?"

"Yes." You whispered into the darkness of the room you'd spent so many of your formative years in. "Yes." Eddie slipped the ring on your finger, pressing another series of hot and firm kisses all over your face.

"He promised to go out and buy a real ring the following morning." You explained to Julia, sticking your hand out towards the camera to show her that your engagement ring was just as simple of a band as your wedding one. "But I told him a didn't want one. This one meant more."

"She gave me that ring as a gift for my 15 birthday." Eddie mused, reaching for you hand and toying with the ring that'd sat on your finger for the last 20 years. It should've sat there for a lot longer, he thought. "It seems kind of full circle that it's ended up back in her possession. But she wouldn't have it any other way."

"I was happy for them, y'know." Daisy smiled, thinking back onto the pictures you'd sent her of your wedding day, her choosing not to come to keep any peace you may have had that day. "Glad to see more then just Warren came out of the band happy. Really happy."

"We only had a small wedding." You explained, the day feeling minutes ago rather then almost 20 years ago now. Where had the time gone? "Warren and Karen came, but everyone else didn't. I asked Cami to come, but she felt it'd be better if she didn't. I understood of course, things were different then, but it hurt me a lot - that the people I'd spent everyday of the few years of my life with didn't want to come to my wedding."

Eddie squeezed your hand tighter, pressing a kiss to your hair. "It was a hard day for y/n. But despite everything, we had the best time; it was the perfect day, honestly."

"Everyone came to visit sooner or later, one at a time, to congratulate us, apologise for not coming. Graham was the first to come and visit." You let out a low laugh as you dwelled on the memory. "I wish I had a photo to show you of the face he made when he realised I was pregnant."

"I'm sorry... what?" Graham choked out, unmoving in the doorway to your house as he stared at the baby bump that had formed under your summer dress. "Since when were you pregnant?"

"It wasn't the way I meant to say it." Graham denied. "It had been about 4 months since the band broke up, and only 1 month since they got married. I was just surprised!"

"Since just over 3 months ago." You laughed, pulling him into your house with a kind smile, taking hold of his bag for him and leading him towards your guest room. "Don't tell Eddie, but I think it's a girl."

"Oh! Of course she did!" Eddie laughed, his head thrown back over the cushions of the loveseat the two of you were cuddled on. "Though, not that I said anything at the time, I knew it was a girl."

"I'm sure you did." You nudged Eddie in his side, intertwining your fingers with his and letting your head fall to his shoulder. "Our Janie was born 6 months later. She was beautiful. 6 pounds and 8 ounces."

"She just started college last year, it's weird for the house to be so empty." Eddie added, a slight frown settling into his features. He missed Janie every day she was gone, that little girl - his little girl - being the absolute light of his life.

"You didn't have any other kids?" Julia asked, head peaking up just over the top of the camera she was recording the two of you with.

"No. Just our Janie. She was perfect. We didn't need another. Spitting image of her mother, with my rocking personality." It was moments like this, where Eddie spoke so fondly of you, your daughter, your family, that you knew - despite the hurt the band caused you across the years - every second had been worth it.

"Yeah, it was perfect. All perfect."

[lovelyatomicpeace]

Guiding Light

Plot: Steve suddenly lost his father and doesn't know what to do, but luckily y/n is there for him.

Warnings: Sadness, crying, comfort, flashback

A little ff that I created from an idea that came to mind. Enjoy ❤️

As the sun began its slow descent behind the treetops of Hawkins, the air filled with the cool bite of autumn, Y/n ran down the familiar road toward Steve's house. His heart was pounding, not just from sprinting, but from the weight of urgency and grief. The news of her father's sudden death had reached her painfully, like broken glass on a marble floor with which she felt all too intimate.

Steve and his father had never had such a close bond. Their conversations were usually abrupt, punctuated by misunderstandings and the silent tension of unfulfilled expectations. Y/n had watched from afar, every argument and every harsh word exchanged between them etched pain in her heart. She knew Steve needed her now more than ever. As she reached the front steps of Steve's house, she hesitated for a fleeting moment. She could hear the sound of muffled voices inside: friends and family gathered, each carrying the weight of their grief. But that was the last thing he thought about as he stretched toward the doorbell. She was not there for pleasantries; she was there to be his anchor. The door opened and there appeared Steve, disheveled and pale, his brown eyes wide and glassy.

Before she could even formulate a greeting, he collapsed in her arms, the dam breaking as he sobbed into her shoulder. It was the kind of heartbreak that echoed in the pit of her stomach; she held him tighter, feeling his tears against her neck, the tremors of loss shaking them both.

"I can't..." he gasped between breaths.

Y/N tightened his grip, cradling him as he cried. "It's okay, Steve. I'm here," he whispered, in a calm voice as if he could channel his pain through words.

The usually cavernous house was now full of people: friends and familiar faces were scattered, hushed whispers mingled with the subdued background of soft music coming from the living room. Lucas sat with Max, their usual quarrels absent. Dustin was solemn, preoccupied with scraping a nonexistent splinter in the sofa. Robin and Nancy clutched each other, offering silent support, while Jonathan and Will exchanged glances that said much about the pain they shared. Mike sat off to the side, fingers intertwined with El's, both looking lost. As the commotion hummed slightly behind her, Y/N guided Steve into the living room, away from prying eyes. The light filtering through the drawn curtains cast shadows but also warmth; it felt like a cocoon, a safe space in which to share his vulnerabilities. Gently, she led him to the couch, where they sank together, the outside world temporarily forgotten: one of his knees resting on the floor as he bent over her. She ran her fingers through his hair, reassuring him, rooting him on.

"I couldn't even say goodbye to him," Steve said in a choked voice, wiping away tears with the back of his hand. "We had to make things right-it was my last chance, and I blew it."

"You didn't ruin anything, Steve," Y/N reassured him, in a firm voice. "You loved him, even with all the hard things. That's all that matters now."

"Yes, but it wasn't enough," he murmured, lowering his gaze to the floor. "He never understood me. My whole life has been a struggle for his approval that I never got."

"Sometimes people are just ... complicated. Your relationship was not easy, but you still meant a lot to him. You were his son," Y/N replied softly. "You showed him love in the ways you could."

"Why did he have to be such a jerk to me?" he croaked, wiping tears from her face with the back of her hand. "He was so consumed with his life that he never stopped to listen ... to understand anything about it." Y/n nodded, her heart aching. She had witnessed Steve's struggles, his attempts to gain acceptance and recognition from a father who had inadvertently rejected him. The loss of a parent was complex enough, but when mixed with unresolved feelings, it turned into something even more bitter.

Steve stood in front of her, lost, remembering his last argument with his dad:

It was one of those stormy afternoons when the thunder rumbling overhead echoed the tensions brewing in the Harrington mansion. A heavy downpour painted its chaos against the large windows, mirroring the struggle that was brewing between Steve and his father. The opulent surroundings of the estate looked like a gilded prison. Steve stood defiantly in the spacious living room, his muscles tense with anger.

"Dad, I'm not going to trade school! You can't make me!" shouted Steve, the resolve in his voice trembling to the edge of desperation.

His father, Robert, sat behind a polished mahogany desk, his fingers intertwined under his chin. The man was the epitome of success, a tycoon respected and feared in equal measure. "I can and I will, Steven. You don't even want to follow in my footsteps. You want to waste your life chasing ... what? You want still to work for a stupid video store? You're not cut out for that."

"I'm not cut out for it either!" spat Steve, gesturing to the room full of memorabilia, awards and an expectation he couldn't stand. "I hate your idea of success. You want me to be your perfect little clone, and I won't do it! I refuse to be part of your empire!"

Robert's eyes squinted, his voice deceptively calm. "There are choices in life that shape your future, Steve. You think you have it all figured out, but you're just a child playing at adulthood. I have sacrificed so much for this family; the least you can do is live up to the legacy."

"Sacrifice?" Steve's voice cracked, the weight of lost years overwhelming him. "You never sacrificed anything for me! You were too busy building your empire to notice me!"

"Do you think this is easy? Do you have any idea how hard I worked?" retorted Robert, rising from his chair, anger exploding. "Look at you, look at what you are! A failure! You're a disappointment!"

Disappointment. The word hung in the air, choking, as if it had just settled in Steve's chest. That word shattered something deep inside him, igniting a longing for freedom he had never known existed.

"That's not true!" he cried back, hot tears filling his eyes. "You've never even tried to understand me. All you care about is your image, your successes! I don't want any of that!"

"I am your father! I'm trying to prepare you for life, and this is what you do? You throw everything away for ... you for nothing?"

Steve seethed with anger and pain, the mix of emotions contending inside him until he could take no more. "You know what? Maybe I don't need you at all!" he shouted before running from the room, tears streaming freely down his cheeks.

As he left the mansion, the storm was equal to the turmoil in his heart. He rushed out into the rain, letting the deluge wash over him. He could not face his father, the anger swirling in his chest was a tangible entity demanding to be released. It felt like the beginning of the end, a farewell to a future he had not chosen...

Suddenly y/n's hand on his cheek brings him back to reality. Steve looked up, searching her face for answers, something she could not give. "What good is love without understanding?" The question remained there, charging the air with a melancholy that enveloped them like a fog. Silence fell between them, filled only by Steve's occasional quiet sobs. It was then that she reached out her hand, placing it on his knee, a gentle but firm gesture. "I'm not going anywhere, you know that, right? You're not alone in this." Y/N says felt a chill run through her. "It's the only love we have," she said softly, and it's still valid." A faint ghost of a smile ripped through his tears as he wiped his face with the cuffs of his sweater.

"But I don't want you to feel like you have to put on a brave face," she murmured, her heart pounding. "It's okay to be broken. You don't have to go through this alone."

"I feel so lost," he confessed, her voice broken again. "What do I do now?"

"Take it one day at a time," Y/N replied, her heart breaking for him. "You let yourself grieve. You let yourself feel everything: the anger, the sadness, even the joy of memories. And when you're ready, you can start to heal."

Steve looked at her, and for a moment the heaviness lightened, if only a little. "Thank you, Y/N," he said, in a firmer voice. "You always know what to say."

"Not always," he admitted, with a sweet smile on his lips. "Only when it's about you."

"What if I can't get over this?"

Y/N leaned closer, their knees brushing. "You will, Steve. Just like you fought for everything else. You have friends who care about you, who want to help you. Lean on us." He nodded, but uncertainty hovered in his eyes. The truth was stark; he was afraid.

After a few beats, it was his turn to unleash his feelings. "And ... you don't have to pretend with me," she murmured, "about your father or how you feel. This is a safe place, okay?" He inhaled sharply, studying her face. "What if I want to pretend everything is okay?"

"Then we can pretend together."

A moment passed; their gazes met, understanding flowed silently between them. It was a moment of connection that was full of hope, even in the midst of pain. Steve's brown eyes shone with a potential nuance: something unspoken that hovered beautifully in the air between them. They stayed like that for a while: an embrace, a clinging to each other's presence. Outside, the world continued to struggle with the weight of their shared loss, but in those moments, they both began to feel a glimmer of warmth; a reminder that in the deepest despair, the bonds of friendship could shine brightly enough to illuminate the path ahead, even if that path was shrouded in uncertainty.

[chaoticvintagelesbian]

Spoilers for Catching fire of the Hunger games series, if u havent watched it dont read.

Rewatching the 2nd hunger games film, Catching Fire for the first time in a years here r my thoughts chronologically, & I've got a lot to say about this one:

- They actually show Katniss's PTSD, flashbacks and nightmares.

- Gale being a "nice guy", christ hes a an sh*tty

- watching them back to back, they recast the cat!!!

- Snow is a fabulous villain.

- CINNA 🥰

- Caeser Flickerman's banger theme tune!

- The camera's interview is so awkward

- Effie deserved Katniss snapping at her on the train

- Peeta acknowledging that he cant hold her to wot they did to survive in the games! Peeta's already way above Gale. Peeta king 👑 of communication.

- just asking each other their favourite colour is adorable

- The Mockingjay!

- Peeta offering to talk to make it easier for Katniss

- Peeta giving Thresh & Rue's families some of their winnings. Katniss's speech about Rue is beautiful, I'm sobbing

- I love district 11, f*ck the peace keepers!! That poor old man! Haymitch: Who's going to protect them!?

- Haymitch knows better than anyone that you never escape the games.

- Jennifer Lawrence is fabulous

- Haymitch cares about them so much, we love him.

- Katniss barely holding it together on the victory tour. She looked so horrified at the little girl saying she would volunteer just like Katniss did.

- Caeser Flickerman has no right to be so iconic.

- Peeta is amazing! I love him and Katniss

- Does Effie have to say Mahogany in every film?

- Peetas disgust at the Capitol compared to what people in the districts are going through.

- I love the politics of catching fire

- Seneca decided to stop breathing - Plutarch

- F*CK GALE!!!! SHE DOESNT HAVE TO LOVE U ROMANTICALLY FOR BOTH OF U TO SAVE UR FAMILIES!!!!! Gale's right about rebelling, but he isnt even trying to understand her trauma.

- I love the anti corporal punishment, pro riots/rebellion, f*ck the police message of catching fire

- Peeta without question helping to save Gale cos he's not selfish

- Prim being a great nurse!

- I don't think Katniss has ever had any romantic feeling for Gale, he's just her best friend at most, a lot of the time he's barely that, she would've thrown herself in front of that whip if it was anyone she remotely cared about.

- The trauma of all the victors. Haymitcch is right they're not winners, they're survivors. Nobody ever wins.

- Effie actually kinda realizing the games arent the honour shes been indoctrinated to think they are.

- Katniss didnt ghetto say goodbye to Prim 😭

- Finnick & Maggs!!! We love them.

- Finnick Odair 🥰

- The Capitol is even more perfect in this one

- Johanna Mason is iconic and fabulous

- Wiress & Beetie r great

- Maggs is the sweetest

- Transition from Seneca Cranes hanging body to Caeser Flickerman's banging theme song!

- The Victor's interviews are very persuasive & interesting, they each show a lot about the characters

- Slay Johnnana!!! Make him pay for it

- The costumes in this one is a step up from the first.

- the fact she knows that Cinna is in danger for the Mockingjay dress

- Peter "We actually got married" Mellark, Peter "If it werent for the baby" Mellark

- All the Victor's holding hands in a show of unity

- CINNA 😭 (Jennifer Lawrence was amazing in this scene)

- The arena is beautiful

- finnick: oh Sh*t Katniss might actually love Peeta.

- THE FOG ,, MAGGS!! 😭😭

- Tick Tock The arenas a clock

- PEETA! JOHNANNA!

- bye bye district 12

I love this film, for me, it's my favourite in the series.

[curiousaromantic]

Just finished Ghost of Tsushima main storyline AND Iki Island DLC.

sighs

GOD FUCKING DAMMIT, OMG

One of the best games I’ve ever played tbh, it was beautiful, I fell in love with Jin Sakai and his character, like, he is genuinely a beautiful person and omg I felt pretty charmed by his resolve throughout the entire game—more men like Jin Sakai please. (yuna youre so lucky girl…)

I’m not much of a gamer myself, kind of I guess, I play when I have free time in my PS5 and when it comes to action games I’m a coward lol idk why whenever I am pushed into a battlefield I freak out (I almost had a heart attack when I started Ghost of Tsushima and the mothafuckers sent straight to fight at Komoda Beach, HELLO? The intro was so beautiful tho…). But Ghost of Tsushima balanced everything very well, and I enjoyed doing NPCs side missions, I felt powerful and badass.

(The way how the fear that the Ghost inflicts on his enemies is portrayed??? Chef’s kiss honestly. And the Records items, especially Conversations with the Khan, I enjoy the lore with so so so so much glee hehe.)

The characters, I fell in love with the characters. I knew I liked videogames when I first played Far Cry 4 and the characters felt so dear to me, and Ghost of Tsushima brought me back to when I was like 9?? and I was playing FC4 on my dad’s PS3. Jin’s story and the rest of the characters’ Tales hypnotized me, idk. The flashbacks, the foreshadowing, the small conservations within Jin and the others…I was sobbing in the ending and in Masako’s and Yuna’s tales. AND THE LOVELY WAY WE GOT SO MUCH APPROACHES TO IMPORTANT THEMES AS WOMEN EMPOWERING, FAMILY, QUEERNESS, TRADITIONALISM, ETC. jin baby you deserve the world.

Ngl, while I was playing the game not only I cherished every single interaction of Jin and his allies/friends, but I was glad he had the time to talk and rest, yk? And that’s why I love Yuna so much, gods.

From what I’ve seen, many ship Ryuzo and Jin, and while I kind of understand and respect Ryuzo, I don’t personally ship them. I was too excited to duel him the moment he was deemed a traitor lol, this game brought out the worst side of me (i was cackling when i got the ghost stance, run fuckers!). I did cry a lot on Iki Island whenever Jin had Ryuzo’s hallucinations, like, ouch, I would hurt forever if a childhood friendship ended like that.

(Talking about Iki Island, Kenji doing a cameo there LMAO, and Jin teasing him with “so you left Tsushima and you didn’t even bothered to say goodbye?” AJDKAKDKAKS YES YOU TELL HIM JIN)

Now, Jin and Yuna??? Muah muah muah, they are soulmates, romantic or platonically or both. Its the way Jin (throughout the story this loyalty builds up, love that) does everything no questions asked when it comes to Yuna, going with her to her tales? Damn Jin straight went and brought her heads! How romantic. The way Kenji was like “he cannot refuse if I tell him Yuna’s waiting”, AND THE WAY JIN HIMSELF OUTRIGHT SAYS THINGS LIKE ‘I would give my life for you’ OR ‘so you and Takeshi…?’ Hehehe they are so precious. They are definitely in love your honor, at least for me.

Wish I could still find the characters in the map or something after the main story ends, I’m at my new home behind Omi Monastery full of nostalgia because Jin’s home is a mosaic of gifts and remembrances of everyone he has known. Yuna’s gift, Ryuzo’s hat, Taka’s hook, Kenji’s sake, First Horse’s saddle (Nobu precious, I wish you had been there with me 😭) and lots of other stuff from Masako, Ishikawa, Lord Shimura, and many others that I don’t remember rn. Like, it is clear Jin loves his homeland, his people, his friends, I’m sure he would have made a perfect Lord, aw.

Thank you for reading my venting. Now, I need fanfics.

[michelle-is-writing]

Stepping Stones, Spencer Reid

This was a request, and it’s a bit different from what I usually write. The request included flashbacks, and I don’t write them in many of my fics, so I hope they don’t sound too bad.

Word Count: 1.3k~

It’s funny how one room in a house can change so much over the span of two years. What was once grey walls are now painted a light blue, and the area once covered with stacks of books now holds various stuffed animals and baby toys. The desk was probably the hardest to move, but the crib wasn’t much better. Not to mention the best change in the whole house was the new presence of a baby boy - mine and Spencer’s baby boy.

After my brother died, it felt like nothing could bring me happiness. Spencer tried and tried, but even his smiling face seemingly couldn’t bring me out of my funk. Although, his hard work did end up helping me, albeit slowly. Thankfully, Spencer understood where I was coming from, and he always assured me that it was okay when I felt bad about not sharing his happy moments with him.

It was only after Scratch’s death that I could feel the warmth that I hadn’t felt in such a long time. Of course, I was on morphine at the same time as I didn’t come out unscathed when it came to catching Scratch. He managed to get one bullet in me before falling to his death and making me fall back onto the roof of the building with a bullet lodged in my shoulder. I don’t remember much from those moments of terror, but I do remember Spencer’s face appearing above mine with nothing but fear written all over it. What would you do if your wife was bleeding out on a rooftop?

When I woke up in the hospital the next day, a lot of things ran through my head. First was the realization that Prentiss was alive and safe, and the second was that the man who killed my brother was now dead, to which I ended up sobbing in my hospital bed. Spencer, whom I hadn’t even noticed in the corner of the room, immediately rushed over and tried to make sure I was okay, and to his delight, I was. We were both alright after so long of a hell we had to face.

Steven’s funeral was the next step I had to take, and even though I didn’t like the idea of arriving at my older brother’s funeral with a cast and bruises adorning my face, I went. I wouldn’t say it felt good to say goodbye to him, but it was a relief to see him in a more peaceful manner than when I first saw him deceased. When that happened, it ended with me screaming and sobbing while Luke held me back from running to his body in the SUV. I didn’t know what else to do in that situation. I felt numb; it was as if I was losing my mind at the sight of Steven with a broken neck.

Fortunately, I got to see Monica there, and eventually, I got to talk to her as well. I felt the self-guilt gnawing away at my stomach, and even though I didn’t say anything that showed it, Monica knew. Instead of saying words she knew I wouldn’t believe, she pulled me close and held me as we both quietly wept. My sister-in-law and I always had a close relationship like that, and I couldn’t be more thankful.

~~~

“Your auntie Monica has always loved your mommy,” I whisper to the baby boy in my arms as he stares up at me with eyes to mirror his father’s own chocolate orbs. “She used to come over when she was dating your uncle and always spend a few minutes with me to help me feel counted,” I add, “When your daddy and I got married, she helped out a lot. She was mommy’s bridesmaid, and both she and your uncle made me and daddy feel so loved.”

~~~

Two months before Steven’s death was mine and Spencer’s wedding. In retrospect, I couldn’t be more thankful that we chose the date we did as my brother got to not only witness one of the happiest days of my life but he got to walk me down the aisle as well. Not to mention he got to hand me off to a man whom I not only loved, but a man that Stephen and Monica knew would treat me right. Spencer and I had been dating for two years, and we both knew that neither of us ever wanted to be with anybody else. In my heart, I knew I didn’t want to go through any more of life’s moments without him by my side permanently, and at the altar, Spencer confessed the same thing. We wanted everything together, the bad and the good.

~~~

“And so, that’s where you come into the picture, Henry Stephen Reid,” I murmur, smiling as the restless baby starts to close his eyes. As he’s gotten older and hit the six month mark, it’s easier to put him down for a nap, and I couldn’t be more thankful.

~~~

Barely a year had passed after Stephen’s death when I found out I was pregnant. Both Spencer and I were ecstatic, along with the rest of the BAU when we discovered the news. I don’t think anyone stopped smiling for the entire nine months I was pregnant. The person I had the hardest time telling my pregnancy to was my sister-in-law, Monica. I don’t know if it was because I didn’t want to take her away from mourning Stephen or if I was scared of how she would react. Although, I think a majority of my problem was the heartbreaking irony that presented itself to me in this situation: when life was taken away from me, it was given back in another way.

Spencer and I had been married for a year then, and in all honesty, the thought of pregnancy wasn’t a priority. It wasn’t something we were too concerned about - if it happened, it happened, but we would be happy. The only problem was that after a year without protection, we still had no baby to show. Sadly, we both realized the possibility that maybe we weren’t meant to be parents. Now that I think about it, it was kind of ridiculous that we even thought to give up after only a single year.

~~~

“Is he down for the afternoon?” Spencer asks as I walk out into the kitchen, baby-free. Well, kind of.

“Yes, he is,” I murmur, walking up next to Spencer at the counter where he flips through one of my cookbooks. “Did you find something for us to have for dinner?” I ask, looking up at his concentrated face. I could stare at his face all day, and not have a single worry.

Turning toward me with a smile, Spencer wraps his arms around me from behind and pulls me to him, kissing the side of my head. “Do you think the littlest one would like stuffed shells tonight?” He asks, one hand moving to caress my non-existent bump.

“Spence,” I say his name with a small laugh, reaching up to hold his face. Still my biggest advocate in life, Spencer smiles down at me, his happiness somehow connected to my own. “I’m only ten weeks along; I’m sure they’ll be fine,” I point out, Spencer’s hold on me never faltering. Despite all of the things we've been through together, the good or bad, we’re still there for each other and always will be.

[8bitchoco]

SUDDENLY I RISE FROM THE DEAD AGAIN BLINK GONE GOT ME IN SHAMBLES WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCKK

!! SPOILERS !!

TILL MY BABY IS GONE I AM GRIEVING I AM SO UNWELL THE IVAN FLASHBACKS/LUKA PARALLELS IS SICKENING BUT YOU KNOW WHAT'S WORSE???? THE HOPE HE REGAINED FROM SEEING MIZI AT THE END ONLY FOR HIM TO GET BLINK GONE'D GOODBYE UNIVERSE MY GOD IS DEAD SOBBING

[quodekash]

GUESS WHO'S BACK

finally time to finish the last fifteen minutes (and one second) of our skyy 2

based on my current track record, itll take about an hour to get through those 15 minutes but its fine, im prepared

or maybe im not prepared. im so scared

hey that rhymed!

okay. stop stalling. time to actually watch it.

holy hell wish me luck

i still dont know how i feel about them

i actually dont remember them much

i think they were really controlling?

WAIT THATS RIGHT I HATE THEM

his dad SUCKS, and his mum said that the only way she would let him become a teacher is if he went to freaking america

why america

COME TO AUSTRALIA INSTEAD

the amount of times that people in thai bls have gone to freaking america instead of australia is astounding

WE ACTUALLY HAVE A GOOD EDUCATION SYSTEM

well... its not necessarily good.

buT ITS BETTER THAN FREAKING AMERICA

WE HAVE GUN LAWS

WE HAVE SYSTEMS AND STUFF THAT ARE MORE SIMILAR TO THAILAND THAN AMERICA

WE'RE CLOSER GEOGRAPHICALLY, AND WE'RE SUPER MULTICULTURAL, PARTICULARLY WHEN IT COMES TO ASIAN COMMUNITIES, SO (i think) YOU'RE STATISTICALLY MORE LIKELY TO FIND PEOPLE WHO KNOW YOUR BIRTH LANGUAGE THAN YOU WILL IF YOU GO TO FREAKING AMERICA

i could rant about this all day but ive only been watching for 30 seconds and its been 12 minutes already so im gonna keep watching

WHAT ARE YOU DOING

DONT APOLOGISE TO THOSE BITCHES

oh. they like him?

hmm...

well i still dont like them

EEEEE

HIS SMILEEEE

HE LOVES HIS HUSBANDDDD

I LOVE THEM SO MUCH

dude your eyes are so bloodshot. have you slept??

you should sleep my guy

and no, having sex with your super-mega-foxy-awesome-hot boyfriend does not count as sleep

(pls tell me someone got that reference)

let's be real, that's a really good looking cake

i rly wanna eat it

i want cake now

why is she nodding

are they about to give their approval for marriage?

pls let phuphatian get married

pls let there be a special episode where they get married

i dont want this to be the end of them

i love them too much to say goodbye

it feels a lot like a marriage approval thing

but also... does he love tian the most? or is the one thing he loves most like. his nose hair plucker or something.

ARE THEY GETTING MARRIED OR NOT, IM STILL CONFUSED

i have a question

have they spoken to tian about this? i still dont really understand what theyre talking about, but have they spoken to tian about it?

also: where the hell is tian right now

nooooo

bye bye tul :(

i love you tul

marriage????? maybe???????? im still not sure

okay, okay, okay, so he's turned around, he's not facing phu right now, and when he turns around, phu's gonna be on one knee???? maybe????

DID I NOT JUST

OH MY GOSH

HOLY MCFLIPPING BAJOOLIES

THEYRE ACTUALLY DOING IT???

HE'S TEARING UP

SO AM I

AND SO IS TIAN

I AM SOBBING PROFUSELY

HE DID THE HAND KISS

HE DID THE FREAKING HAND KISS

I AM NOT OKAY

AAAAAAAAAAAA

he interlocked their fingers.

he interlocked their freaking fingers.

GOEJRBSDGOVJKLBERSODUFGJK;LBVERD

GFIU43EWJGKBOPUVWEBRS

I ALWAYS SAY THEYRE HUSBANDS

BUT NOW THEY CAN ACTUALLY BE HUSBANDS

wait

frick

gay marriage still isnt legal in thailand

well... i mean they can technically get married in another country

they should get married in australia

and invite me to the wedding

NO

WAIT

FLASHBACKS???

STOP

STOP IT

I DIDNT SIGN UP FOR THIS

I DIDNT SIGN UP FOR FLASHBACKS

NOOOO IM GONNA CRY AGAIN

its gotten to the point where im sobbing about how short he is

NOOO IS THAT IT???

OH HELL YES TY P'AOF FOR ALWAYS HAVING AN END CREDITS SCENE THING

AWWWW HE'S CONTINUING THE STORY ONLINEEE

they gonna fu-

<3

also we got to see yod again!!

i love them all so much

well. that's the end of me. i am dead.

phutian are officially husbands, and im gonna go cry for the rest of the year

[duhragonball]

Neon Genesis Evangelion 21

NERV Origins: The Clownshoes Abduction

Okay, so this one is kind of confusing, because it flashes back and forth a lot. Let's go over the present-day stuff first and then we'll cover the scenes from the past.

Admiral Clownshoes gets abducted right under NERV's nose. I gave him a silly name because I couldn't be bothered to look up his actual name, but to be clear, he's the second-in-command of NERV, after Gendo Ikari himself. So it's kind of amazing that he could get kidnapped like this, although it's also kind of stupid, because this guy has done fuck-all since the story started. Gendo's the mastermind of NERV and the Evangelions and everything else that goes on here. Misato and Ritsuko pretty much handle all of the logistics and combat stuff. All the "Vice Commander" ever does is stand beside Gendo and make wry observations to him. I don't get the sense that he has any real purpose in the organization. I named him "Clownshoes" for a reason.

Anyway, NERV Intelligence suspects Kaji Ryoji, who was recently kicked out of NERV for being a double agent working for the Japanese Interior Department. Since Misato is known to be his lover, they hold her in a detention cell just in case she's an accomplice.

Regardless of Kaji's role in the abduction, the ones who wanted Clownshows are SEELE. I was starting to get the impression that SEELE was the name of the committee of grumpy old men who talk to Gendo Ikari whenever things go wrong. But apparently SEELE is another, even more mysterious group of dipshits behind the committee of grumpy old men. They wanted to talk to Clownshoes directly, without Gendo in the room, so they staged this abduction to make it happen.

Near the end of the episode, Kaji shows up to rescue Clownshoes. Clownshoes warns him that he might get killed for this, and Kaji says that he just wants to get closer to the truth. Uh... how does this help, exactly?

Like, I really don't get it. SEELE wanted something from Clownshoes, but we never actually find out what it is. They're mad about Eva Unit 01 absorbing an S2 from that Angel it ate a couple of episodes back. Now they think it's become a god, and they've lost confidence in Gendo. But what's Clownshoes supposed to do about that exactly?

And how is Kaji connected to any of this? I think the idea here is that NERV or SEELE set him up to take the fall for the kidnapping. The fact that he's rescuing Clownshoes seems to suggest that he wasn't the one who kidnapped him, except no, Kaji's been playing one side against the other the whole time. He's totally the kind of character who would kidnap a guy to spite NERV and then free him to spite SEELE. I'm not saying that's how it went down, but this episode doesn't really make it clear to me that he didn't abduct Clownshoes.

Somebody eventually catches up to Kaji near one of those slow-moving ventilation fans, like the one that stymied Goku in Dragon Ball GT. Yes, I'm still mad about that, by the way. He asks some unseen character what took so long, and then there's a gunshot sound and I guess that means he's dead. Well, good. Kaji sucked and I hated him. Rest in piss, you smug womanizing prick.

By now, Misato's been released, and she's pretty sure that means Kaji has already been killed, but then she gets a voicemail from him, and he says his goodbyes. Also he asks her to tend his watermelon garden for him. Man, fuck your watermelons, Kaji. Nobody's got time for that shit.

Misao breaks down and sobs over the dinner table, while Shinji hears her from the bedroom and covers his head with a pillow to drown out the crying. He doesn't know what to say to comfort her, but he does understand what she's going through.

All right, I think that does it for 2015, so let's look at the flashback stuff.

In 1999, Professor Clownshoes is tasked with mentoring a promising young student named Yui Ikari. She looks... familiar. Oh dammit...

Soon after, Clownshoes made the acquaintance of Gendo....... Rokubungi. He and Yui eventually start dating, and the next time Clownshoes meets him is after Second Impact, on a research mission in what's left of Antarctica. There, Gendo informs him that he and Yui have married, and he took her last name.

Eventually, a man named Keel, working for the SEELE organization starts the whole cover story about Second Impact being caused by a meteor strike. Clownshoes knows better, that it was caused by a "Giant Man", Adam, the First Angel. He eventually figures out that Gendo Ikari and SEELE knew Second Impact was going to happen. That's why Gendo left Antarctica right before it happened. He had been working with Misato's dad's research time, and I guess they discovered Adam and Gendo left them to take the fall.

Clownshoes threatened to expose the conspiracy, but Gendo showed him something first: An underground expanse, that "someone else" excavated. I don't know what that's supposed to mean, but this is the space where the NERV base is located in 2015. SEELE and the Ikari's established a research facility here, and I guess that's what convinced Clownshoes to go along with their secrets? I don't get it.

One day in 2004, Yui was working on some sort of experiment, and she brought their son Shinji to work so he could see it. Over there on the left is Ritsuko Akagi's mother. We'll get to her in a moment.

Clownshoes didn't approve of Shinji's presence in the lab, but Yui wanted him to see her experiment, to show him how bright the future would be. Those were literally her last words, as she died shortly after saying them.

So this is where that rumor started about Gendo killing his wife. She died in an accident of some sort, but it's hard not to imagine Gendo being at least partially responsible, since he's the driving force behind everything that went on in this place.

But Gendo was cleared of any wrongdoing, and soon after her death he started working on the Human Instrumentality Project.

However, it's still possible that Gendo had something to do with it. Even if he didn't directly sabotage Yui's work, he might have manipulated Dr. Akagi into doing it for him. That's because Akagi had a thing for him, and when Yui died, she admits to herself that she had hoped it would happen. Not long after, she and Gendo make out in the lab...

And Akagi's daughter, Ritsuko sees them going at it. This is like her first day on the job, and she sees the director porking her mom. Wild.

Not long after, Gendo starts bringing some other kid to work, and he explains that he's decided to care for the daughter of some acquaintance, which is totally the sort of thing a genuine hyu-mon person with real organs would say out loud. He introduces her as Rei Ayanami and... oh fuck we're really doing this. Akagi even notices the resemblance right away, so it's not a coincidence.

One night, Akagi sees Rei wandering around by herself, and Rei calls her an old hag. Akagi warns her that she'll get in trouble with Gendo, and she says he's the one who always calls Akagi a useless old hag. Akagi snaps and murders Rei in a fit of rage. Uh... okay?

When Akagi comes to her senses, she apparently throws herself over the safety railing, dying among the three supercomputers she just finished building. Soon after this, Keel reorganizes this thing into the NERV Agency.

And yeah, I think that's everything.

So if Rei isn't some sort of clone of Shinji's dead mother, this show is working very hard to fool me into thinking so. I mean, the resemblence of Rei to Yui aside, we see Li'l Rei get strangled to death in the past. So how is Rei alive in the present? If she's a clone, it stands to reason Gendo has a few spares.

I don't know the why of it. Maybe he just desperately wants his wife back, so he's waiting for one of the clones to grow up so they can get married. Or he thinks he can resurrect Yui but he needs a Rei to serve as a vessel for her disembodied consciousness. Maybe Yui's mind is trapped inside Eva Unit 00 the way Shinji was stuck in Unit 01 recently. Or maybe Gendo just wanted a loyal follower, and he only used Yui's genes because he had a sample handy.

For my part, the Yui-Rei connection is the only part of this that actually matters to me in this episode. Kaji's death is irrelevant. I'm glad he's dead. All the stuff with Ritsuko and her mom was dumb. Like, aside from killing Rei and then herself, all Dr. Akagi did was talk about the supercomputers she named after the Three Wise Men, and how she modeled them after three aspects of her personality. It's just a callback to Episode 12, with nothing else added.

And the whole story seemed to be centered around Clownshoes, except he never actually said or did anything to justify all this attention. I don't know why he threw in with Gendo in the 2000s, or why he's in such a high position in NERV today, or what SEELE expects him to do, or what he's actually going to do instead. Kaji freed him like it was some bold play to tip the balance of this story, but I can't see how. Well, there's still five episodes to go, so maybe they're building up to that.

Oh, right, one other complaint: I was really hoping to find out about the Second Angel. Remember? Adam's the First Angel, the one who exploded and caused Second Impact. The first time we see an Angel in this show, it's called the Third Angel. So what happened to the Second Angel, who would have appeared somewhere in between? I just assumed a flashback episode would have touched on that. Oh well.

[rip-us-xoxo]

Requiem- Fred Weasley x Reader (REPOST)

Posted DECEMBER 12, 2020

Reposted APRIL 16, 2023

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Warnings- Fred’s dead 😭 and it pulls at your heartstrings A LOT. Also swearing, but that’s to be expected at this point

Based off of “Requiem” from Dear Evan Hansen

________________

Italics= flashback

________________

Why should I play this game of pretend?

Remembering through a secondhand sorrow?

Such a great son and wonderful friend

Oh, don’t the tears just pour

There you sat, listening to all of the speeches at Fred Weasley’s funeral.

First from his mother, then his father, all of his siblings, a few friends, including you, and then finally, his twin, George.

Everyone was sobbing their eyes out, but you? You sat there, eyes fixated at the ground except when you gave your speech, but you still were looking down at your black shoes for most of it.

You didn’t want to cry, not after what Fred did to you. But the sadness was still there.

I could curl up and hide in my room

There in my bed, still sobbing tomorrow

I could give in to all of the gloom

But tell me, tell me what for

After the reception ended, you couldn’t handle it anymore. All of the confusing emotions were too much for you.

So, you left while everyone was going to go and eat without saying goodbye.

Once you got home, you slammed the front door shut and stood against the door crying. “Why am I crying?” you thought, “He broke up with me all those years ago.”.

You wiped the tears that kept spilling from your eyes and stood up, going to the bathroom to compose yourself.

After a few moments of crying there was a knock, “Um, Miss Y/l/n?” you heard from outside the door. “Shit,” you whispered and opened the door.

“Hi Sophie, here, let me give you your money. Thank you for watching him again,” you said with a small smile and handed her some money before she smiled and mumbled a quick ‘thank you’ before leaving.

When you looked back at the mirror, hot tears were still pouring from your face. “Stop crying, goddammit!” you screamed at yourself and hit the bathroom counter.

Why should I have a heavy heart?

Why should I start to break in pieces?

Why should I go and fall apart for you?

You then heard crying come from your room. “Dammit, I woke him up,” you groaned and wiped your eyes once more before heading down the hall.

When you entered the room, you immediately went to tend to your son, Theodore.

“Shh, Theo, it’s alright. Mommy’s here,” you cooed and picked him up from his tiny bed. It broke your heart to hear him cry, he was the most important thing to you.

He was 3 years old and the best thing that had ever happened to you, but no one else knew about him except your family members and Sophie, the babysitter. After he calmed down, you kissed his fiery red hair and placed him back onto his bed.

“Your father could have had so much. But no. He had to leave and go start his joke shop,” you sighed sadly with a hint of anger. “Why should I care that he’s dead? He left us, not the other way around.”.

“Mommy,” he babbled and made grabby hands toward you. “Oh alright, come on little guy,” you giggled and jumped onto your bed with him. He snuggled into your chest and began sucking on his thumb.

Why should I play the grieving girl and lie

Saying that I miss you

And that my world has gone dark without your light?

I will sing no requiem tonight

“Fred Weasley was a great friend and I miss him everyday”. That was one of the lines from your speech that you gave at his funeral.

You didn’t miss him at all, but to appease everyone and to not cause drama, you said you did.

Your world didn’t need Fred Weasley as your light, you had everything you needed snuggled in your arms.

I gave you the world, you threw it away

Leaving these broken pieces behind you

Everything wasted, nothing to say

So I can sing no requiem

“I’m sorry, Y/n, but we can’t be together anymore,” Fred told you, not meeting your eyes. 

“W-Wait what?” you asked, tearing up. “This isn’t funny Fred,” you tried laughing, “it’s just a sick joke.”. 

When he didn’t meet your eyes, you knew he was serious. “W-Why?” you asked, starting to cry. 

“I just think it’s what’s best.”.

That was all he told you in the corridors one starry night in your 7th year. The next day he left school, not speaking a word to you.

You were broken by the words he did speak though, he gave no explanation, he just left.

4 years. 4 years you two had been together and he just left.

But the one thing you wish you could’ve told him was that you were pregnant with his child.

“Maybe things could’ve been different,” you whispered, a single tear running down your face.

I hear your voice, I feel you near

Within these words, I finally find you

And now that I know that you are still here

I will sing no requiem tonight

You tried to sleep but your brain was filled with too many thoughts. You looked down at your son after another failed attempt at sleep and realized just how much he looked like Fred. Red hair, brown eyes, Theo had it all.

Fred’s memory will live through the shop and his family members, but for you, it was little Theo who reminded you of him, it gave you an odd sort of peace that Fred was still with you in a way.

You started to cry thinking of all the happy memories while looking down at your son, oh how you wished Fred could be there with you and your son.

Why should I have a heavy heart?

Why should I say I’ll keep you with me?

Why should I go and fall apart for you?

You then thought back to when Theo would cry for hours as a baby and nothing would calm him down, or how you worked 2 jobs to be able to provide for you and your son. Fred wasn’t there for any of it, he wasn’t there to help at all.

“Get it together,” you whispered to yourself and tried to fall asleep once more.

Why should I play the grieving girl and lie

Saying that I miss you and that my world has gone dark without your light?

I will sing no requiem

Tonight

You groaned when sleep, once again, wouldn’t consume you.

You sat up, being careful not to crush your son, and reached into your nightstand. You pulled out a newspaper with a picture of Fred and George in front of their joke shop smiling, it was opening day and they looked so proud.

You smiled slightly, but anger soon consumed you.

“Why am I crying over him, for Godric’s sake!” you said angrily and threw the newspaper beside you.

‘Cause when the villains fall, the kingdoms never weep

No one lights a candle to remember

No, no one mourns at all

When they lay them down to sleep

“I hate you!” you screamed as you ripped up all of the pictures you had of Fred. “You were a horrible person!” “You left me! You left Theo without a dad!” “You didn’t even say anything, you just went and risked your life and died!”. These were all things you screamed as you ripped up all of the pictures you had of Fred.

“I hate you!” you sobbed and ripped up the picture of you two at the Yule Ball before throwing the pieces at the wall.

So, don’t tell me that I didn’t have it right

Don’t tell me that it wasn’t black and white

“You had no excuse to leave me! Everyone told me that I should forgive you because you were a good person, but you were not a good person, you left me!” you screamed.

After all you put me through

Don’t say it wasn’t true

That you were not the monster

That I knew

“You left me! I was pregnant and it was the most painful experience of my life and you didn’t help me though any of it!” you sobbed while looking at a picture of you and Fred after a quidditch match.

“There was never any good in you, you were just pure evil!”.

'Cause I cannot play the grieving girl and lie

Saying that I miss you And that my world has gone dark

The last words made you sob to the point where you couldn’t breathe.

“I. Hate-!” you stopped screaming when you came across a photo. It was you and Fred hugging on a Gryffindor common room couch.

That was the day you found out you were pregnant and you were scared out of your mind.

“Love, are you alright?” Fred asked and sat down on the couch in the Gryffindor common room next to you. “

Hm? Oh yeah, just tired I guess,” you mumbled, not daring to look into his eyes. 

“Oh come on, Y/n, we’ve been dating for 4 years. Just tell me what’s going on in that head of yours,” he cooed and engulfed you in a hug while stroking your hair and giving you a long kiss on the forehead. 

The flashing of a camera made both of your eyes go wide. “

Aw look at the love birds!” George teased and sat the camera on the table, waiting for it to process. 

“Oh sod off George,” Fred groaned and gave you another kiss on the forehead.

You sobbed and came back to reality, Theo was crying. You quickly got off of the floor and sat next to him, bringing him into your lap.

“I’m so sorry Theo, mommy didn’t mean to scare you,” you cried and hugged him tightly.

I will sing no requiem

I will sing no requiem

I will sing no requiem tonight

“Come on, let’s go to sleep,” you told Theo while glaring at the ripped up pictures on the floor, “I have better things to do than cry over a stupid man who broke my heart years ago. I’m done crying over him. I’m over him.”.

Oh, oh, oh

Oh, oh

Theo ended up not being able to fall asleep and neither could you. Fred Weasley was all you were thinking about. No matter how hard you tried, he was still taking over your brain.

“Come on, Theo,” you huffed and got him dressed in a little jacket to accommodate for the coldness of the night before walking out of your house and walking to the graveyard where Fred had been buried.

You needed to see him one last time before you never thought about him again.

You looked down at the gravestone “Fred Weasley, beloved brother, son, and friend,” you read quietly to yourself, starting to cry once more. You sat down and leaned up against the gravestone before making Theo cuddle into your front.

“I miss you everyday Fred,” you cried and hugged Theo tightly while rubbing the ground Fred was buried under, “I still love you, no matter how many times I try to say I hate you.”.

Little did you know, Fred was sitting next to you, his arms were wrapped around you and their son. “Y/n, I wish I could go back and fix everything, I wish I could’ve been there for you and our son, I’m sorry,” he whispered sadly, resting his head on your shoulder.

After a few minutes of you crying, you stood up, much to Fred’s dismay and looked down and Fred’s gravestone where Fred was also coincidently sitting, “This is it, Fred, I need to move on, I’ll always love you, I hope you know that. But this is goodbye,” you said sadly, “for now,” you said in barely a whisper before turning around and walking back to your house.

Although you knew that you were never going to see him again and for years to come you would say that you were over Fred, you knew that you would never be over him and that you would sing a silent requiem every night for Fred because he was, and will always, be the love of your life.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

xoxo