#THE ARTIST IS MY IRL FRIEND AND I KNOW SHE HAS GOOD INTENTIONS AND PROBABLY DOESNT KNOW OF SYDNEY'S CANON HUMAN DESIGN but an angel still ju

[c-o-z-m-o]

Dp fanart of whitewashed human Sydney

[papirfecni]

Hello Azra!

I hope you're having a great day 😀.

Look, i don't mean no harm nor want to be hateful to you or anything you do..(but i might actually be), what i'm about to say might be mean and it's probably gonna look like a hate comment or something 😅 but i assure you, i have nothing against you 🙂.

I'm getting this out of my chest bcs i want to, and since you don't reply to your DMs or anything else i thought my last chance is to tell you anonymously..here ...tbh, bcs humans are weird 😒 .

So i was one of your followers/fans and i really liked your work, you were funny and you were entertaining in every way..you might still be (i dunno tho') i even liked your taste in music and i thought it matches mine in a weird way.. i, like any other fan thought highly of you and did anything to be noticed by you 😂 which sounds silly now that i say it.. but it's something that we all do and i'm sure you have done this yourself 😉.

I tried my best to cut you some slack bcs you are famous and i don't know your circumstances or anything about you... but at some point you had me and gave me some of your time and i thought to myself .. 'why did she? i am just as any other excited fan who did everything to be noticed.. why give 𝓂𝑒 the time?'

Don't get me wrong, i knew you were just being nice 😆... but i thought to myself 'does she do that with everyone then? voice chat, play games, share informations...? which is odd.. bcs isn't she scared of creeps and weirdo who maybe have bad intentions...'

I'm a humble one but just like a normal person i got greedy and i felt like we might be friends lol 🤣 i even start talking to some of your close friends and i wished to be as cool just to be friendly with you all (not just you...no offence) bcs for some reasons i found a lot in common between me and you all, but i was too normal and too boring for you maybe a little too nice too 🙃.

The point is, after that you started ghosting me after telling me that we would do it again (play and stuff).. you never reply.. you don't see my comments nor msgs... i know i wasn't special but i really wanted to play more and have fun while i still could at that time 😅.

I just wished you never gave me a chance to look forward to an awsome friendship with such great and fun people like yourselves...

Once again, don't get me wrong.. clearly i have issues 🙃 and if i don't adress them the proper way then they will come and bite me in the butt 😆.

What i'm trying to say here is .. as much as i liked your spirit, your humour but more importantly your 𝒜𝑅𝒯 ofc, now i don't even want to see nothing that has anything to do with you... even your name makes me cringe (the fact that my mother has the same name isn't helping -.-') and i hate that bcs i missed how despite being so invisible back then .. i enjoyed everything you did..

I wish i never made that piece of art that made you follow me which made me feel so guilty for not following you back which is the one thing that led to another until it became no fun no more...

I missed your art and it feels bad now to interact with it after you belittled me and basically made me feel like sh*t (sorry..) when you ghosted and rejected all my requests..

I wish you read this and i wish you don't hate me for being ..umm weird and mentaly disturbed obviously 😅lol despite being anonymous i feel so seen..

you are a great artist and a .. well uuh a funny person? lol (that's all i could think about 🤣) i was a fool to think that you thought of me differently and for being greedy to have more fun time with you and your friends.. so umm i hope you take my honesty as .. umm a point that needed to be ..umm adressed and not as a hate comment or ..umm a speech at this point 😬 hehe

Just a word of advice.. don't say things that you don't mean to fans no more 🤣 they will be excited and they will feel special and it will be disastrous if you don't meet their expectations haha.

Despite feeling guilty for being too honest ..maybe to the mean point, i am 𝑔𝓁𝒶𝒹 that i got that out of my chest, i am trying my best to talk about this silly subject as civilized as possible so you don't get me wrong 🤠.

Good luck with whatever you're doing in your life and i wish you all the best 😺.

P.S: drink more water instead... it's very important to stay hydrated 💧 ✌️

i wasnt gonna respond to this originally but youre getting people i dont even know involved in this fsr so.

sending me shit anonymously expressing why youre mad at me is one thing but going around and telling random people in their fucking CCs about it (and naming me too) like its a warcrime not to respond to your dms personally is really fucking weird. im an average ass person with a hobby who uploads their work online, i’m not a fucking celebrity or “famous” for this or any other reason, i sure as fuck dont have any fans and i genuinely dont understand your obsession with that concept??? why am i the one getting blamed for making you feel special for simply talking to you and being friendly when youre the one acting like i have paparazzi following me around lmao i have classes to attend and study for, i have friends irl and family that i spend time with, i have a tiny group of online close friends i talk to regularly, i eat and sleep - a day is 24 hours for me too lmao. on top of that im generally bad at responding to dms as im very introverted with a terrible memory; it’s never anything personal, i’m simply busy or just forget to text back which my friends are aware of and have no problem with. i seriously had nothing against you, you’re very sweet and talented but you don’t know me, we hung out once for an hour as friends and that was it, i’m confused as to how me not responding was such a traumatic event for you when it’s a normal thing that happens with everyone especially if you’re not close friends. if youre trying to befriend someone you should behave like it and not like youre chasing someone unreachable lol. anyway im glad you got free therapy out of this i really loved the random cursive letters you added for dramatic effect as well as the subtle drags 10/10

[jamaiskookie]

can i request a soft fluffy little drabble of fanboy yoongi and idol reader?

soundcloud rapper meets professional idol- myg

it’s #starrieselcaday !! where everyone posts their selfie in the hopes of their bias replying to them! alternatively, yoongi is a shy fanboy and you’re an idol with an undercover account where you stalk your fans. 

masterlist

listen

min yoongi is not a liar

HOWEVER, if you happen to ask him what kind of music he likes to listen to..... that’s a rare exception. 

he’ll probably reply by rattling off some of his favourite hip-hop rappers etc etc (emInEM!!! KANYE!! THE CLASSICS!!!!! beyonce)

which,, is not entirely a lie, okay?? he DOES listen to those artists! but his greatest guilty pleasure is this ... idolgirlgroup UGH he feels lame just thinking about it. 

not that it’s a pathetic thing, ya know? it’s just that he’s ~min yoongi~ jin literally told him once that he would be re-born as a rock and he AGREES WITH THAT. 

it’s not like he’s ashamed of saying he’s a fan of your group, it’s just that it’s not expected of the stone-cold soundcloud-rapper yoongi. 

but secretly, he winds down by watching your fancams, mass streaming your albums, screaming about your debut anniversary, the list goes on... the day in a stans life never ENDS GOD.

he literally screamed at his laptop and bursted into tears for a good 4 hours your last comeback.

he even got jimin and namjoon to end up liking his ult group!!!

seokjin refuses to ‘lower himself’ to their standards but everyone knows he secretly has all of your albums downloaded 

the group (lomls) called dreamcloud consists of five members- yoona, jisoo, lia, chae, and y/n. the fandom name is called starrie, even though nobody knows how that came about??

(his favourite single is their newest song called cloud 9)

three guesses to who’s his bias gO!!

if you guessed y/n congrats you’re CORRECT. other stans say that the bias they started with is NEVER the bias they have no but you’ve been yoongle’s ult bias since debut and it’ll forever be that way!!!

he’s been bias wrecked approx. 30 times but we don’t talk about that. 

like lia is THIS close to stealing the bias spot but you’ll always have such a special place in his heart :,-)

which is why when he sees the hashtag #starrieselcaday which was trended by you when you tweeted out a selca he POUNCES ON THE CHANCE TO POST A SELCA

on his secret fan account of course.

oh boy he really hopes nobody from uni is going to see this..,,, he’ll deal with it if the time comes. 

he definitely spends 30 minutes with jimin trying to figure out where the best lighting in the dorm is and then an additional 30 minutes just taking the damn picture. 

he ends up taking the photo in his black bucket hat (the e-boy one) with this slightly awkward half smile plastered on his face. 

he kinda hates it but it was also the best shot out of the 2000 he just took so that one it is!! (he’s also pretty tired of jimin telling him to ‘pOSE’)

he just posts it on his twitter with nothing but the #starrieselcaday hashtag. it’s the first time he’s participated in these so he’s kinda ~nervous~ but whaddya know!!

other starries are already hyping him up in his mentions!! [proud tears] gosh he loves this fandom so freaking much. he links jimin’s selca below his, telling his followers to go hype jimin’s picture too. 

it’s slightly concerning how big of a following yoongi has on his stan account. 

#STARRIESELCADAY! ✨@/liabby

replying to @/ynssuga

you look so cute suga!!!! ur bucket hat omg where did you get it send LINKS!!!

dreamcloud D-14!!! 🍬@/starriejoonn

replying to @/ynssuga

so THIS is what you spent an hour doing with jimin. owo looking good my friend! 😎

jade 💜ot5 @/vitaminchae

replying to @/ynssuga

omg you did #starrieselcaday !!! congrats on 50k by the way!! we’re all anticipating your album review (keysmashes) <3

awhhhh

how cute!

see? best fandom. 

honestly he wasn’t even aware that he hit 50 thousand on his stan account what the FRICK that’s insane!!

the only thing he does on this stupid account is give album reviews (which are quite useless at this point it’s always a 10/10) and scream about the comeback stages. 

occasionally he’ll go on to remind his fellow starries to drink water and take breaks from streaming- because contrary to popular belief he can be soft. 

☁️STREAM #CLOUD9 ☁️@/yoonsoohearteu

replying to @/ynssuga

hOOOOOOOTTTT!! woohoo!! why didn’t you tell us you were attractive irl?? 👀 ru single bby? 👉👈

yoongi snorts reading that comment, replying to tell @/yoonsoohearteu that he’s far from attractive and is unfortunately, single. it’s all y/n’s fault, he jokes in his reply. dreamcloud has raised his standards too much. 

y/n ✅@/dreamcloudy/n_official

replying to @/ynssuga

💞💞💞

[blink]

[bliiiink]

[?????????]

wut.

are his eyes deceiving him? WHAT? 

yoongi checks again, and sure enough, the little checkmark verifying your OFFICIAL twitter account lays next to your handle,.,, WHICH IS BELOW HIS POST. 

he takes a deep breath, trying to recall whatever breathing exercise his therapist taught him just last week. 

it doesn’t work. 

“AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH- “

💤☁️.

“y/n!“ yoona calls from the kitchen. in your large XL hoodie, you step in, humming a ‘hmm?’ to your leader. all the other girls are camped out in their rooms, preparing for the comeback coming soon. 

yoona’s scrolling on her phone with a confused look on her face. 

“why is hashtag starrie-selca-day trending? did you tweet something or was it chae?“ she asks, and you hide a slight smile. 

“oh yeah,“ you reply. “i tweeted my selca this morning. you guys can tweet out yours too.“ 

yoona raises her eyebrow. “okay,” she asks. “just be careful.” you blink. 

“be careful... of?“ 

“make sure the agency doesn’t find out about your secret account you use to stalk the starries.“ you sputter, spitting out a random excuse. 

“you’re too obvious these days, y/n,“ yoona says, not unkindly. “i figured that your comment wasn’t intentional... was it on that guy suga’s page? anyways, your official account didn’t reply to any other fan’s selcas, so maybe you should comment on some other fans twitter accounts too.“ 

huh?

what on earth is she talking about- OH NO. 

you scramble to take your phone out, immediately clicking into your twitter notifications. 

you groan when you see ‘y/nsuga’ is already trending. you should’ve double checked which account you were on before commenting, for god’s sakes!

this is amateur stuff, you scold yourself. how could you forget?

like yoona said, you begin commenting on other selcas, so it doesn’t look like you’re singling just one fan out. 

(except you kind of already did that.)

yoona stifles a laugh. “so,” she says. “we’re not going to talk about how you commented three heart emojis on this guy’s selca on your secret account... right?” 

your cheeks heat up. “please don’t tell the other girls.” you plead. jisoo unnie would never let you live this down. 

it’s not your fault some of your fans are. like, really cute, okay? 

this guy- ‘suga’. well, that’s the name you’ve been calling him in your head- since it’s the alias he goes by on twitter. 

he was one of the first fan accounts opened on twitter- just when you debuted! he posts these detailed and insightful reviews every time you have new music, and he’s always been such a loyal fan!

(plus, it’s super fun seeing him shut down your haters!! he always comes up with the most awesome comebacks)

((your personal favourite is ‘y/n could single handedly step on you with the heel of her five inch stilettos while she continues to do the choreography perfectly. shut your bitchass mouth up’))

so is it a crime to check up on a devoted fan’s twitter page every once in a while... on your secret twitter account??

he still hasn’t replied to your comment, which you’re slightly down about. he’s just busy, you reason with yourself. it’s not like you can expect his world to revolve around you, you scold. 

yoona nonchalantly waves her hand. “i already screenshotted the evidence though, so that’s going in my y/n blackmail folder.” 

you let out a multitude of complaints, noises that mostly consist of various versions of ‘fuck you uwu’ 

at least it was yoona who found out first. she’s the most gentle in the group... even though she has blackmail folders for each of the members. 

you reassure yourself by telling yourself that she’d never actually use the folders for real blackmail purposes.... probably. 

looking down at your phone, you frown. 

cute boy suga still hasn’t replied. 

you don’t know it, but the only reason why is because he’s still screaming. 

“AHHHHLHFH*HDFGLHHHHH?&$5FLIQJARSODFILJQWOI?!!!?!?!!”

[itsclydebitches]

Here's a quandary I've suddenly found myself in: where do you stand on writers deleting their own works, fanfiction or otherwise? I've had this happen to me on more than one occasion - I go to look for an old favorite and find it's since been deleted from whatever site I read it on.

On the one hand, I'm inclined to think that, "Sure. The author wrote it, it's their call. I don't own the work - I certainly didn't pay for it. It's their decision, even if it's disappointing."

But at the same time I can't help but consider the alternative - if I believe in death of the author (and I do), that an author's work fundamentally isn't solely theirs once it's been published, posted, etc., then it also seems wrong to have a work deleted. Stories aren't the sole property of their creator, after all.

But then I circle back. D'you think there are different obligations between authors and readers and the works being made in fandom space? I know if I had bought a book and the author decided they wanted it back, I would feel pretty comfortable telling them no, given I'd paid for it and whatnot. But that's a different world from fanfic and fandom space generally.

So. You're insightful Clyde, I'm curious as to what you'll have to say here (and to all y'all thinking about it, don't flame me. I haven't decided where I stand here yet - haven't heard a good nail-in-the-coffin argument for or against yet).

Val are you a mind reader now? I’ve been thinking about this exact conundrum the last few days!

(And yeah, as a general disclaimer: no flaming. Not allowed. Any asks of the sort will be deleted on sight and with great satisfaction.)

Honestly, I’m not sure there is a “nail-in-the-coffin argument” for this, just because—as you lay out—there are really good points for keeping works around and really good points for allowing authors to have control over their work, especially when fanworks have no payment/legal obligations attached. In mainstream entertainment, your stories reflect a collaborative effort (publisher, editor, cover artists, etc.) so even if it were possible to delete the physical books out of everyone’s home and library (and we're ignoring the censorship angle for the moment), that’s no longer solely the author’s call, even if they have done the lion’s share of the creative work. Though fanworks can also, obviously, be collaborative, they’re usually not collaborative in the same way (more “This fic idea came about from discord conversations, a couple tumblr posts, and that one headcanon on reddit”) and they certainly don’t have the same monetary, legal, and professional strings attached. I wrote this fic as a hobby in my free time. Don’t I have the right to delete it like I also have the right to tear apart the blankets I knit?

Well yes… but also no? I personally view fanworks as akin to gifts—the academic term for our communities is literally “gift economy”—so if we view it like that, suddenly that discomfort with getting rid of works is more pronounced. If I not only knit a blanket, but then gift it to a friend, it would indeed feel outside of my rights to randomly knock on their door one day and go, “I actually decided I hate that? Please give it back so I can tear it to shreds, thanks :)” That’s so rude! And any real friend would try to talk me out of it, explaining both why they love the blanket and, even if it’s not technically the best in terms of craftsmanship, it holds significant emotional value to them. Save it for that reason alone, at least. Fanworks carry that same meaning—“I don’t care if it’s full of typos, super cliché, and using some outdated, uncomfortable tropes. This story meant so much to me as a teenager and I’ll always love it”—but the difference in medium and relationships means it’s easier to ignore all that. I’m not going up to someone’s house and asking face-to-face to destroy something I gave them (which is awkward as hell. That alone deters us), I’m just pressing a button on my computer. I’m not asking this of a personal friend that is involved in my IRL experiences, I’m (mostly) doing this to online peers I know little, if anything, about. It’s easy to distance ourselves from both the impact of our creative work and the act of getting rid of it while online. On the flip-side though, it’s also easier to demean that work and forget that the author is a real person who put a lot of effort into this creation. If someone didn’t like my knitted blanket I gave them as a gift, they’re unlikely to tell me that. They recognize that it’s impolite and that the act of creating something for them is more important than the construction’s craftsmanship. For fanworks though, with everyone spread around the world and using made up identities, people have fewer filters, happily tearing authors to shreds in the comments, sending anon hate, and the like. The fact that we’re both prefacing this conversation with, “Please don’t flame” emphasizes that. So if I wrote a fic with some iffy tropes, “cringy” dialogue, numerous typos, whatever and enough people decided to drag me for it… I don’t know whether I’d resist the urge to just delete the fic, hopefully ending those interactions. There’s a reason why we’re constantly reminding others to express when they enjoy someone else’s work: the ratio of praise to criticism in fandom (or simply praise to seeming indifference because there was no public reaction at all), is horribly skewed.

So I personally can’t blame anyone for deleting. I’d like to hope that more people realize the importance of keeping fanworks around, that everything you put out there is loved by someone… but I’m well aware that the reality is far more complicated. It’s hard to keep that in mind. It’s hard to keep something around that you personally no longer like. Harder still to keep up a work you might be harassed over, that someone IRL discovered, that you’re disgusted with because you didn’t know better back then… there are lots of reasons why people delete and I ultimately can’t fault them for that. I think the reasons why people delete stem more from problems in fandom culture at large—trolling, legal issues, lack of positive feedback, cancel culture, etc.—than anything the author has or has not personally done, and since such work is meant to be a part of an enjoyable hobby… I can’t rightly tell anyone to shoulder those problems, problems they can’t solve themselves, just for the sake of mine or others’ enjoyment. The reason I’ve been thinking about this lately is because I was discussing Attack on Titan and how much I dislike the source material now, resulting in a very uncomfortable relationship with the fics I wrote a few years back. I’ve personally decided to keep them up and that’s largely because some have received fantastic feedback and I’m aware of how it will hurt those still in the fandom if I take them down. So if a positive experience is the cornerstone of me keeping fics up, I can only assume that negative experiences would likewise been the cornerstone of taking them down. And if getting rid of that fic helps your mental health, or solves a bullying problem, or just makes you happier… that, to me, is always more important than the fic itself.

But, of course, it’s still devastating for everyone who loses the work, which is why my compromise-y answer is to embrace options like AO3’s phenomenal orphaning policy. That’s a fantastic middle ground between saving fanworks and allowing authors to distances themselves from them. I’ve also gotten a lot more proactive about saving the works I want to have around in the future. Regardless of whether we agree with deleting works or not, the reality is we do live in a world where it happens, so best to take action on our own to save what we want to keep around. Though I respect an author’s right to delete, I also respect the reader’s right to maintain access to the work, once published, in whatever way they can. That's probably my real answer here: authors have their rights, but readers have their rights too, so if you decide to publish in the first place, be aware that these rights might, at some point, clash. I download all my favorite fics to Calibre and, when I’m earning more money (lol) I hope to print and bind many for my personal library. I’m also willing to re-share fic if others are looking for them, in order to celebrate the author’s work even if they no longer want anything to do with it. Not fanfiction in this case, but one of my fondest memories was being really into Phantom of the Opera as a kid and wanting, oh so desperately, to read Susan Kay’s Phantom. Problem was, it was out of print at the time, not available at my library, and this was before the age of popping online and finding a used copy. For all intents and purposes, based on my personal situation, this was a case of a book just disappearing from the world. So when an old fandom mom on the message boards I frequented offered to type her copy up chapter by chapter and share it with me, you can only imagine how overjoyed I was. Idk what her own situation was that something like scanning wouldn’t work, but the point is she spent months helping a fandom kid she barely knew simply because a story had resonated with her and she wanted to share it. That shit is powerful!

So if someone wants to delete—if that’s something they need right now—I believe that is, ultimately, their decision… but please try your hardest to remember that the art you put out into the world is having an impact and people will absolutely miss it when it’s gone. Often to the point of doing everything they can to put it back out into the world even if you decide to take it out. Hold onto that feeling. The love you have for your favorite fic, fanart, meta, whatever it is? Someone else has that for your work too. I guarantee it.

So take things down as needed, but for the love of everything keep copies for yourself. You may very well want to give it back to the world someday.

[vv00rm]

music tastes of the gaang (+ azula, mai and ty lee)

*all of these r purely my own individual hcs i actually have no idea what they would listen to irl

Aang: Aang says that he listens to a bit of everything, but he actually listens to a bit of everything. Name even the most obscure bands, chances are that he knows them. Does he also listen to really mainstream stuff? absolutely. He does a lot of running and while he's out he has a lot of time to listen to music. he knows it all. Doesn't have a favourite artist

Katara: she listens to a lot of rap, especially from the 90's, but she also cannot stand silence and doesn't want to listen to rap while she studies, so she also listens to a lot of lofi. This results in her spotify being 42,5% rappers rapping about guns and gangs and money and 42,5% being 'Chill Beats To Relax/Study/Sleep to'. The other 5% is from that time that she had a spotify premium free trial and sokka didn't. she let him use her account for a while. likes jpgmafia

Sokka definitely had a phase where he listened to alt rock from the 80s/90s and thought that there was no good music after '94, followed by a phase where he just followed the words of anthony fantano. he now lets himself enjoy more than one genre of music, even though his music is now mostly still punk from the 80's, but he doesn't hate mainstream musix as he did before. fav artist/band is probably germs. also death grips. also maybe misfits? it used to be the smiths but now he hates morissey or however u spell his name with a passion. he still likes their songs but would gladly murk morissey.

Suki: suki will listen to some of the most obscure shot that can barely even be classified as music. and i mean like actually obscure. a lot of it is just random noises with vague ambient music in the background. she isn't like a snob about it or anything and enjoys most of the music her friends play her and the go to playlist maker. to get to where her music taste is now, she's had to listen to a lot of genres and artists (she had a lana del ray is phase), so she might even know more than aang. she does have a couple of playlists that include music that of the overlapping music tastes of the gaang. she absolutely stans charlie xcx and wants to be like her

Toph: Toph will listen to anything to upset her parents. when she was younger her parents would mainly listen to classical music, so when she grew the independence to listen to her own music (ie get a phone) she started listening to a lot of hardcore/death metal. it didn't matter what the songs were, but the more satanic imagery on the album cover the better. except, she doesn't know which album has the most pentagrams or burnt churches on it, so it's usually just whatever her parents make the biggest fuss about. she does enjoy the music after a while, so it's not just to piss her parents off, even if that was the initial intention. her parents stopped bothering her about it after the first year/year and a half. but she was absolutely NOT allowed to wear band t-shirts because then that would embarrass the family. so that's exactly what she did. owns over 10 Korn shirts because she is still, a rich kid

Zuko/Mai: Goth. Again, mostly from the 80's. He mainly listens to more famous goth bands, like the cure, joy division, duo je and the banshees, bauhaus, depeche mode etc. he and mai listen to a lot of music together, and share headphones. they did this a lot when they were 'dating' but they're still doing it now. he likes some newer stuff too though. doesn't have a fav artist but his fav album is three imaginary boys. this really doesn't need more analysis.

Ty Lee: she likes Kpop. sometimes jpop. she listens to music while training, and a lot of Kpop songs help because they're dynamic and easy to follow and listen to. bts, nct, stray kidz, twice, red velvet, black pink etc.

Azula: ozai listened to stuff like frank sinatra and other songs from the 50s, but not 'birth of rocking roll' 50s, more like old conservative 'i-miss-the-fifties-when-women-would-dress-like-women-men-would-dress-like-men-also-literally-no-civil-rights-and-the-birth-of-late-stage-capitalism-yay' type of way. azula of course wants to impress her dad so she listens to what he listens to, because ozai is a narcissist and is only impressed by himself. after she gets a redemption arc however, and she unlearns all the shit he brainwashed her into believing, she analyses everything about their relationship, his political views, and how they affected her, after a lot of thinking instead of being on the right she switches to the (kind of far) left and now she predominantly listens to riot grrrl and joan jett, L7, the runaways, etc.

(can u trop in writing a modern au)

[neo-shitty]

toffee!

yeah same, i follow some fic accs that occaisionally post smut and its like mmmmm is the fluff writing enough to balance the posts that gives me finger burn trying to scroll past it? but yeah thats probably the way to go

ah i wasnt there for the teaser but i can imagine that was tantalising. lmaoo yes but to be fair i do have a writing acc called channiesbigheart so... balancing it out? but i absolutely am whipped beyond belief. it was a TRAVESTY how COULD they have. yeah the b sides gave him more lines but they werent the ones that were performed over and over at stages. yessss the line distribution in this album is impeccable, im pretty sure the thunderous stuff was some of their best distribution

hehe i can understand that, sometimes putting someone in a situation so horrible it would be considered a violation of human rights is theraputic, ya know? mmmm the differences are a bit nuts, it was 14 degrees today and in less than a week its going to be 32 or smth. BROOO that would be legendary, i bet theyd treat their artists rlly well and have great music as well ahhh but its a lot of work adn commitment. yES that is a mood if ever i heard one.

its the same in australia as well, sadly, you have people who hold up harry styles and lil nas x for breaking gender roles and wearing make up adn steryotypical womens clothing (and keep in mind i have infinite respect for both of them theyre honestly doing so much for the de-dehumanising of gay people and those who wear whatever they want), and calling the kpop boys gay and other things for doing the same thing, when theyve been doing it for years and gotten no recognition smh its so tragic. yes, anyway YES ONLY 6 MONTHS I AM FOR ALL INTENTS AND PURPOSES A BBY STAN altho i considered myself a fully fledged stay like 2 days after i got into them cos i just spent all day researching and fixating. YES someone said it. it feels like theyre losing a huge chunk of why a lot of people liked their music in teh first place, which was that whole dna, dope, fire mood. and even doing bright songs is fine, liek they should do what they want but i feel liek the western music industry is so fucking toxic that they feel pressured into making these decisions. dont get me wrong, theyre good decisions from a business perspective, theyre getting record breaking sales but still. mmm yeah honestly yg just needs to get its shit together or get out

oooh! not into nct but i see a lot of him, he seems rlly talented. ahh yes another channie ult lmaoo i feel that, my list is growing in leaps and bounds as well. mmm yeah i think i will, im just going to try to save enough money :) mingi appealed to me mostly for the voice (like felix smh what is it with me and deep voiced bois) but also his soft visuals and the whole cutesy thing he has going on i rlly liked. yes i did get into them while he was on hiatus, but im still mostly a casual stan, ill listen to the album when it comes out but i dont think ill obsessively look over everything to do with it, like skz. HAH WE'RE MORE SIMILAR THAN I THOUGHT. lmaooo the thot line describes them perfectly, why are they all so damn attractive. especially seonghwa, like that man looks like a character from a book, cardan greenbriar vibes anyone? mmhmm! his vocals are absolutely insane. ty! yeah im excited altho idk how theyre every going to beat border:carnival, that shit was impeccable. ahh no stress, enjoy teh groups you stan atm!

ahh thank you so much, ill keep that in mind. hehe thats good! hopefully its soon :( ah ty, it means a lot. ill think abt that and hopefully talk abt it a little more :)

ah, no it was inside our gymnasium but to get to the other side of the stage you had to exit the building, go around the back and then enter through the other stage door. ah tysm! im glad too. mmm same, they baffle me. ;n; noo so sad :( ahh, thats um not smth i put on here, but im in high school so make of that what you will :)

thank you! ive done a majority of them, i just have maths, an english presentation and an economic assignment due now so im pretty much home free. yeah i feel like hes the epitome of here for you while being inescapably far away. haha she sounds like one of my friends. lmaooo why is that me. hmmm i feel like youve answered a lot of them in that answer so maybe just ateez, enha, txt and bp? if you stan them? :)

ahhh no problem at all, proud of you for managing to overcome the procrastination! progress! mmm thats good! ahh pls do let me know if you ever decide that, i cant promise i wont cry but do what you gotta do :)

<3 w.a. 🐺

hi! sorry for the late reply, i didn't know how to construct sentences yesterday e.e

yeah sometimes it's the perfect balance! i personally don't like fics that focus mainly on the filth? the plot has to carry the whole fic somehow and the smut is just something to add to the mix. also, i'll follow you on your writing blog! i keep forgetting to do so, damn it.

"sometimes putting someone in a situation so horrible it would be considered a violation of human rights is theraputic, ya know?" putting it this way just silenced me but yes. angst just feels more realistic. it isn't always happy endings irl so i tend to do it a lot.

falling into skz is so easy! it felt like that for me too. stanning them felt like getting sucked into a blackhole. also yes i agree. kpop is nothing but an industry after all and it runs on money so i get why they do what they do as well.

i suggest we not talk about haechan because i will literally not shut up but yes my boy is an ace :( chan is also sooooo easy to love. and the chan's rooms just solidified his place as ult. having something to look forward to every week at a time when my mental health was just plummeting into the depths of tartarus just helped me be stable. oh yeah, mingi's deep voice is indeed sexc. and he has some wack ass duality as well! and i think seonghwa was one of the people i nearly considered as bias just because of his visuals because wow that's one beautiful face. and true, idk how enha's going to beat border:carnival. i don't like all the tracks simply bc of taste preferenceds but i like more than one so i consider that a lot already.

bro that gym should've had some sort of a covered walk :// also i miss being in high school sO DAMN MUCH. but i still feel like i am because time stopped when quarantine started and i was still in senior year at the time.

my ateez bias is wooyoung! it wasn't that much of a shocker to my kpop stan irls because i was a jimin stan for the longest time. enhypen is jake and they kept pointing out that he looked like seungmin sometimes so it's like chan's aussie-ness with a tinge of seungmin (the other guy in my skz bias line, in case i haven't mentioned it). txt is huening kai! i find it hard to believe that he's my age because he looks a lot younger? o.O and he always looks good damn :(( sigh for blackpink it's lisa! i tend to bias the maknaes of yg groups, it's a pattern i've noticed but don't intentionally do!

DON'T WASTE YOUR TEARS OMFG. you can always reach me elsewhere if i like disappear off this blog.

[firesfelt]

hi hello ! i’m pace ( she/her ) and i have really horrible timing, as i need to go to bed like asap and also have a packed day tomorrow so can’t be on then either ( rip ) but i rlly wanted to get at least one thing posted before i go ! i’m in the gmt, and am just realising now while i think about intros that all my fcs ( for the moment ) have names beginning with ‘a’ ? inch resting. but i’ll hopefully be able to get intros up for my gals too asap & i rlly wanna do the tasks for everyone and get writing and just have a Hoot. this is the exact environment i need, u know ? exciting !!! anyway, lemme introduce my first character before i end up writing some rambled essay about,,, literally nothing.

( asami zdrenka, 26, demigirl, she/her/they/them ) EMIKA BLAKE was seen listening to HEARTBEAT BY SCOUTING FOR GIRLS on their way to TATTOO ARTIST. EM is known to be CREATIVE & STANDOFFISH.

➜ i always find emika’s personality hard to describe, but i think the best way to begin is ‘misunderstood’ ? she has good intentions, and a kind soul, but the social skills of a wet trout. she’s quiet, and reserved, and has a serious case of resting-grump-face, and it very much leads people to get the wrong sort of impression of her, through no fault of their own. the sarcasm doesn’t help, either. she’s very much a loner ( and therefore a pain in the arse to plot with ) but i always enjoy developing relationships of any kind with her and seeing how things unfold.

➜ obviously, her job has a very social side, and that’s the one thing she can manage. she has no problems communicating in a consultation, getting ideas out there, easing the nerves of an anxious first-timer, expressing herself and what could be best, but that’s often because she knows exactly what to do. she does it day in, day out, and can almost follow a script in a way. sit the same person she had the consult with down for six hours to actually have the tattoo done, and unless they make the effort to keep the conversation going, em has nothing. it’s not even that she doesn’t want to talk, either, she just struggles. and then when she does think of something to say, it can come out abrupt or abrasive, so it’s often best to just keep her mouth shut.

➜ is it obvious yet that emika’s autistic ? she has no idea of this, herself, but it’s canon, just undiagnosed. and it was, admittedly, unintentional. i’ve revamped em from a character from long ago, and the first time i played her, i didn’t set out for her to have autism, and then when i realised that she’s definitely, definitely autistic, everything made sense. it just never got picked up on at school for her, and her mother never paid enough attention to notice or care to do anything in terms of getting a diagnosis or trying to help, so it’s gone undetected. thus far, anyway, who knows ? that could be interesting.

➜ speaking of her mum, let’s talk upbringing. emika was actually born in brighton, england, to her mother, mayumi, and father, stephen. on account of him being a cheating bastard, their relationship fell apart when em was seven. stephen made an attempt with his daughter, but he was in and out of her life for the following five years. at aged twelve, she realised that he really wasn’t worth the effort it took to force a relationship with him, and told him where to stick it. three years later, mayumi would want to uproot to huntsville to follow the latest in a long line of boyfriends --- and stephen didn’t so much as protest. the relationship between mayumi and her canadian lover didn’t last ( here is where em would bitterly mutter ‘they never do’ ) but they never went home.

➜ growing up, she had two escapes: art, and books. she’d always been creative, and always been trouble. think drawing on the hallway walls in crayon at four, getting paint on the living room carpet while creating a ‘masterpiece’ at seven. aka, not trouble, just a kid being a kid, but w/e. try telling her mum that. it was easy to get lost in a drawing or a painting, and she found comfort in reading, too. she’s still a bookworm now, despite not having much free time.

➜ em works too hard. she adores her job, and doesn’t take a single day of it for granted, but she works too hard. there’s nothing she’d rather be doing, and it’s by her own choice, but her time isn’t filled with much else. she specialises in neotrad, but likes to dabble a little and expand her styles when she can. she’s so unbelievably grateful to be doing what she does, especially as it very easily could never have happened for her.

➜ with a home life that was rocky at best, em definitely struggled. as a teenager, she turned to alcohol, and long before she was even legally allowed to drink, she developed a dependency on it. even now, she’d never say she was an alcoholic, but she’d definitely admit that it was a problem, and steers clear from the stuff now. wanting nothing more than to become a tattoo artist was the motivation she needed to get sober, and she knows it very easily could’ve gone in the opposite direction. she got an apprenticeship in the end, and the rest is history.

➜ but ! she’s still young !!!! like super young !! i always like to pick a fc a couple of years younger than however old i’m playing her, because it’s kind of a thing that emika looks even younger than she is. but where a lot of asami’s resources are from a couple of years ago, i thought a year’s difference would do ! but em knows she’s young and still has so much room to learn, and she’s eager to. she just wants to get better and better.

➜ so as an individual who speaks to her mum as little as possible, has no other family in canada, and has very few friends ( if any ? ) who keeps emika company, i hear you ask ? why, it’s her two goldfish and  her chinese softshell turtle, of course. named fred, george, and dobby, respectively. she loves her tank full of friends far more than she’d ever care to admit. ideally, she’d love a dog, but doesn’t have the time to dedicate to caring for one, nor does she have the space. emika moved out at eighteen, the second she could scrape enough money together to do so, and moved into the tiniest box of an apartment, and hasn’t moved since. despite its size, she truly loves her little flat ---- and hates change.

➜ going forward, i’m open to,,, anything. with all three of my goblins, i’m really open to absolutely anything. including just vibing and seeing what happens, but i’m coming in really open and just wanting to Explore. i have an idea for a wc for em, which should be super interesting, but other than that, it’s all just vibes and goin with the flow !!

➜ i hate to wrap things up abruptly, but i really gotta go to bed lmao ( i should’ve written my intros out earlier, rip. isn’t hindsight amazing ? ) so just some things to note: when it comes to gender, em mostly idenifies as ‘ ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ‘ and really just doesn’t think about it. she’s probably never talked to anyone about it, either, not properly/in depth. she doesn’t really think about it, and it doesn’t really,,,, matter ?? to her ?? it just sort of,,, Is. she/her absolutely flies with her, they/them is also appreciated, she really just,,, doesn’t mind. sexuality is one she did have a big crisis over ( and is it still ongoing ? kinda ) but eventually just decided that bi was the label that fit best so that’s what she goes with. she still,,, has no idea. and doesn’t know if it even matters. she split her life between brighton and huntsville, so it was never like she’d never be accepted, but it was all a big Internal Yikes for her.

➜ tldr: dog loving, artistic book enthusiast, who has more coffee in her system than blood and loves her job and her fish more than anything. a total pain in the arse, but a hard worker and bringer of sarcasm. and bitterness. but also bad jokes and gossip --- it’s easy to forget she’s there when she’s so quiet; she hears all kinds of shit.

➜ ooh ! one thing to note ! while em is obviously covered in tattoos, she doesn’t actually share any of asami’s irl ones, so pls keep that in mind ! and ignore in photos/gifs ! will have more details when i do her stats/first task, but for now i really have to go bed !! i’m v excited to be here though, ty for having me and i’ll be here properly soon <3

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #325

tired of seeing me in the survey tag yet? lmao me too

Would you date someone who’s shorter than you? I have absolutely never understood why there would be any correlation between someone's height and whether or not you would date the person because of it. What, do you think the person has any control over that? So basically, yes, I would, without a second thought. Have you ever fallen in love on the Internet? "Fallen in love," no. I had to meet Sara first to see how we meshed in the same environment. Have you ever had a crush on your best friend’s sweetie? Yes, hence the Joel mess. Have you ever had a controlling boyfriend? No. Good luck getting me to date someone like that. Can guys be sluts? Who the fuck cares so long as the person is safe and open with their partner. Ever had a crush on your best girlfriend? Twice now, haha. Would you ever kiss someone who’s taken? No, I'm not that kind of person. Do you mind being the third wheel? I don't care, really, so long as my friend doesn't totally ignore me. I very much enjoy seeing people in love. Has a kiss ever made you weak in the knees? Yes. Have you ever been in a love triangle? No, and I absolutely would not if I was aware. You pick me or you leave me alone. Do you feel comfortable buying condoms? I've never had to, but I'd probably feel a hint of awkwardness. Have you ever run into your ex with his/her new partner? No, and the only case where that would be a problem would be with Jason. I know in my heart I would feel at least some hatred towards her. Have you ever felt guilty after doing something sexual? Yep, when I was first actually getting truly sexual and felt like I was betraying my "abstinence." Would you stay friends with your sweetie’s friends if you broke up? I'm still friends with Jacob, mine and Jason's former roommate and his then-close friend. So yeah. Where do you see yourself in 5 years? I hope more than words can explicate that I have a stable job that I love, my driver's license, and my own place with a long-term partner, since I think living alone would be very detrimental to me. I also hope I have much better control over my social anxiety. Oh, and can I PLEASE be fit again? What was the last thing you bought for less than a dollar? No idea. Who was the last person in your bed? My niece Aria was sitting on it with me. I miss Misty's kids. Do you have a nice phone? Not particularly, but it does the job. Is Marilyn Manson creepy or cool? I find him creepy in a cool way, haha. Well, at least aesthetically. With his recent sexual assault (or abuse? idr) allegations however, I don't know how I feel about him because I don't know the facts. I really should actually read up about it. Regardless, I love his music; he's one of my favorite musical artists. Do you like talking to strangers? Depends on my mood and the person. Do you have OCD? Yes. Are you clumsy or graceful? I'm clumsy as all getout. Have you ever ran into a door because you didn’t know it was closed? Haha, no. Have you ever woke up and didn’t know where you were? After my cyst removal surgery, I was confused for a moment or so. Do you own a Wii? Yep. Do you like to talk about yourself? Depends on with whom, the subject, and my mood. Has anyone ever called you conceited? No; I'm very much on the other end of the spectrum. Tattoos or piercings? I love both, but tats win. Have you ever had ants ruin your picnic? I’ve never had a picnic. At least that I remember. What’s the last gross movie/show/video you saw? Recently, I watched The Dark Den dissect his recently-deceased tarantula to figure out why she died. It was serious impaction, and it was disgusting. Would you rather live in a huuuge house or a little cozy one? A lil cozy one! Not TOO small, though. I'd feel claustrophobic. Have you ever blow dried something other then your hair? Maybe? What is your favorite piece of equipment at gyms? Treadmills. Do you have a tutor for anything? No. Does your sibling(s) have braces? My older sister did for a little while. Did you tell your last girlfriend/boyfriend that you love them? Yes. What was the last thing your parents got mad at you for? Apparently I somehow forgot to wipe crumbs off the kitchen counter. Have you ever had a bathing suit fall off of you while swimming? Not a suit, no, but when I wore bikinis and I jumped into the pool, it's happened before where my top would go up. I'd obviously fix it super quick. Do your pets have favorites? I'm absolutely Roman's favorite, but he loves Mom, too. I'm the only one who interacts with Venus. What’s the longest you’ve ever liked someone without telling them? A very long time. I had a big crush on Girt my freshman year, and some time after Jason, my crush for him came back, but he didn't ask me out until years later. Turns out we'd been friends just too long and the relationship felt too weird for me, so I broke up with him after I think... four months or so? We're still great friends. That's my bro. Did you prank anyone on April Fool’s Day? I never do anymore. I don't like pranks. What’s the sweetest thing a gf/bf can do to get you to forgive them? Changed behavior. Do you dislike when surveys ask to describe your underwear? Well, I'm almost always in my pajamas, sooo I generally don't even have any at that moment. Did you check to see how much fat/calories was in the last thing you ate? No. If the last person you kissed gave you roses, what would you do? Blush and thank her. Anything happened lately that you never expected to? "Never?" No. Are you the person you thought you’d be when you were younger? I'm a massive disappointment and embarrassment to that little girl. Are you a confrontational person, or the peacekeeper? I am absolutely a peacekeeper. I avoid confrontation like the plague. The last time you did something with BOTH of your parents was? They've been divorced since I was I think 17 and I am now 25, so... Do you like pumpkin pie? Absolutely not. Do you believe in any conspiracies? I am 100% sold on that the government had some involvement in 9/11. Look into the evidence - there is an overwhelming amount. There are others that I consider as possible, but no others do I absolutely believe. I'm around 50/50 on the simulation theory. Do you have a little sister? What’s her name? Yeah, Nicole. Have you ever changed yourself to impress someone? Who? Nah. Who was the last person you gave up on? Why did you give up on them? Colleen. We simply butted heads way too much, and she just had this volatile meanness towards others I couldn't watch anymore. What was the last thing you printed? Is there even ink in your printer? Probably a paper for when I was in school. I don't know if our printer does. Have you ever gotten your nails done? Or do you get them done regularly? Yeah, with Colleen and then another time with my sisters. It was really just to hang with them, though. It's not something I'm interested in. Have you been outside yet today? What were you doing? Nope. When was the last time you got a new bed? Is your bed comfy? Not since I was an older teen did I get Mom's bed, but it wasn't new. This was actually her parents' bed, too. Well I mean, the mattress obviously isn't that old, but the bed itself is pretty ancient. It's comfy enough. Do you remember the first time you ever drove a car? Who were you with? Yes: on the dead-end road that led to our old house. I was with Mom obviously and probably my sister, since I think I did it on the way home from school. Do any of your friends drink excess amounts of alcohol? Do you? Not to my knowledge. I definitely don't. Have you ever been in handcuffs? Why, exactly? Yes, because it's mandatory when being transported to a mental hospital. What’s your favorite thing to do when drunk? Would you do this sober? Never been drunk before. When was the last time you bled? What happened? Well it's my time of the month, so. Are you a fan of dogs? Do you have any pets? I love dogs, but don't currently have one as a pet. Mom's looking intently. How often do you bathe? I'm going to be completely transparent and say not as much as I should. Doing my hair is fine, but moving all around, bending and propping my legs up exhausts my legs so much that I avoid showers as long as I can take it or until I have to go somewhere. I want strength back in my body. So. Badly. Do you have any tattoos? What, where and why? I have six that I'm not all explaining, but locations: right upper arm, right inner wrist, left inner forearm, left upper arm, right collarbone, left breast. What do you wear to bed at home? Pajama pants and a tank top. What do you wear to bed when you're somewhere else? Pj pants, tank top, and usually a bra, depending on where I'm at and with who. Do you have any phobias? What? Why do you think you have this/them? I have a lot, but I'll discuss my strangest/strongest: pregnancy, maggots, parasites, and whale sharks. Pregnancy would be because a fetus is technically parasitic, and, to cover that topic, I'm just generally terrified of anything living in MY body. I also find it absolutely disgusting to see a baby move from the outside. I will actually scream if I see this, and that is not an exaggeration. I'm afraid of maggots (larva in general, really) because I think they're just disgusting, and I once brought something in from outside and put it in my dresser (idr why), and one day I opened it and reached in for something just to find lots of little larva squirming around. That's when it started. Now, whale sharks: it's literally because of World of Warcraft, hahaha. There's an underwater zone in the game where they roam as boss enemies, and their mouths look so weird and are actually a bit toothy. Irl, they just have mouths that are just way too big for my comfort. I know they're entirely harmless, but still. If you could ask God (to atheists - IF there was one) one question, what? "Why." Why so much evil, pain, and unfairness. Briefly describe your family. Kinda broken, but still loving and try to stay close. Big "ohana" mood: everyone's loyalty is endless. Where do you stand on the death penalty? For it in extreme cases. Where do you stand on wearing fur? Disgusting and horribly morbid unless for survival purposes in cold climates. Could you kill somebody? In self-defense, yes. What are your political beliefs (anarchy, communism, democracy etc.)? I just say I'm Independent. My beliefs stretch over so many titles; plus, I'm not very educated on all types and what they entail. What, if anything, WOULD you sacrifice your life for? To save those I love most. How would your ideal partner look? *shoves picture of Mark Fischbach in ur face* Would you ever have an affair? Nope. I'm telling you: pick me or leave me be. I'm not a side-chick. Would you ever have a one night stand? Also no. What one thing would you change in this world (free Tibet, abolish Sweden)? Honestly... probably abolish all militaries. I do not in the least support war, and it's just... sad to know countries stand ready to kill the moment they "need" to. Distrust seems to make the world go 'round. Sure, a country may try to rebuild them in secrecy, but that's a preeeetty big thing to succeed in keeping under wraps. "But what if a terrorist or something rises?" I'm quite sure we could handle that without an full-on army. Maybe I'm not well-informed on this topic, but I've just never supported military presence. I WANT TO MAKE IT CLEAR AS DAY, I have endless respect for veterans and aspiring soldiers, because I DO understand the mentality of wanting to protect your home, but yeah. I just wish it wasn't a thing. Would you ever choose a career or job where your life was at risk? Nope. Do you have any famous relatives? Ancestors, yes, and I have a distant cousin who wrote a fantastic book, if that counts. Are you a loyal member of any organizations? No. Desired weight: At MOST 140. :/ I'd like to be closer to 120, but I'll take 140. What are your opinions on marijuana legalization? Legalize it, but treat it similarly to alcohol, like prohibiting driving high, obviously. What do you think about tipping at restaurants? Tip a minimum, and THEN increase according to service quality. Are you addicted to anything? Soda. Would you ever get back together with any of your exes? Yes. Never mind what gender you ARE, what gender do you WANT to be? I'm a female and content with that. Do you ever feel ashamed revealing your age? Yes, considering how behind I am in just being an adult. What does your parents call you? Generally just "Britt." Mom occasionally still calls me "Twinkie." ;-; Has anyone ever threatened you with a knife? Wow, no. Do you ever watch The Simpsons? No. What’s the last thing to make you scream? Truly scream, a mix of depression and anger. I screamed into my pillow. Do you play games with boys/girls, like ‘hard to get’? I'm an adult. I'm a tease in some romantic situations, but "hard to get" is definitely the wrong term.

[queenofbaws]

Top 5 favorite books? :D

Oh LORD help me, strap in for this one…

Explanations for each under the cut, but to save on space...

5. Rebecca by Daphne Du Maurier4. The Hannibal series by Thomas Harris3. The Shining by Stephen King2. The Disaster Artist by Greg Sestero and Tom Bissell1. House of Leaves by Mark Z. Danielewski

5. Rebecca by Daphne Du Maurier - This one is incredibly nostalgic for me because it’s the first “grown-up” book I remember falling in love with. Was I way too young to read this when I did? Absolutely. Will it always have a fond place in my heart? Also absolutely! I won’t go into it too much because it IS a mystery novel and I don’t know that I’d be able to say much without giving away the juicy bits, but it’s a gothic romance, so you know that’s what I’m about. One of my favorite little nuggets of this novel is that the main character’s name is never used. Not once. For all intents and purposes, she doesn’t have a name until she gets married and becomes “Mrs. de Winter…” but the problem is, well…she’s not the only one with that name. Lots going on with this novel, so many layers, and Lord have mercy, the ending.

4. The Hannibal series by Thomas Harris - Can’t stress this enough...I am. In love. With the entire Hannibal universe. The movies, the NBC show, and most especially the books. Thomas Harris has this knack for characters that’s just absolutely astounding. Even when they’re doing the most abhorrent, immoral, downright villainous shit, you can’t help but be enthralled by them. You’re probably not cheering for them, and most of the time you’re definitely hoping they get what’s coming to them, but they all have such personality and shape that it’s bonkers. Not a series for the faint of heart, obviously, given the series revolves around someone nicknamed “Hannibal the Cannibal” but...you already knew that.

3. The Shining by Stephen King - An oldie but a goodie. Look, there’s nothing I can say here about The Shining that everyone and their grandma doesn’t already know. This was one of my first SK novels, and has genuinely been one of my major influences as I begin to really dig into trying to be a horror writer. It’s got everything, baby - ghosts, psychic phenomena, creepy kids, a haunted hotel, REDRUM - it’s good! Go read it! The movie is pretty true to the book, but you don’t have to look at Jack Nicholson’s weirdly triangular eyebrows when you’re reading the book, so...

2. The Disaster Artist by Greg Sestero and Tom Bissell - As the only nonfiction book on this list, I’m sure this one sticks out like a sore thumb, BUT...as anyone who knows me irl can tell you, if there’s one thing I love as much or more than horror...it’s weird shit. Just off the wall, bizarre, freaky shit, with internet weirdos and bad movies at the very top of that list. The first time I saw The Room, I felt a great shift in my life. “Oh my God,” I thought as I sat next to @unicornaffair in a mostly-empty movie theater, watching what can only be described as the least sexy sex scene in the history of sex scenes (I had no way of knowing that two more were right around the bend), “There’s no way this can be real, and also...did I just buy a ticket to watch a porn with my friend???” But it was real, and I did not buy a ticket to watch a porn with my friend. My life was never the same after that. The Disaster Artist, if you’re familiar with the movie The Room, is an account of Greg Sestero’s (Mark, of “Ohai Mark” fame) time knowing Tommy Wiseau (the writer/director/producer/main actor/legend of The Room) and what it was like filming that masterpiece. If you’ve watched the movie, there’s so much more to the story. The book isn’t too long, but it has you in its grip the WHOLE fucking time.

1. House of Leaves by Mark Z. Danielewski - I actually just started a reread of this one! I have no idea how to describe this book, and honestly I feel like that’s a huge part of why I love it so much? It’s…a story within a story within a story, with the main “kernal” of the thing being about a house that isn’t…right, and the family that’s having to deal with it. Take a few steps back, and it’s about a mysterious blind man who’s been compiling all the information he can find about that house to try and figure out what’s going on. Take a few MORE steps back, and it’s about a guy who was unlucky enough to find a dead man’s old journals and finds himself plunging into paranoia and psychosis because of it. It’s horror, but not in a familiar way, and it’s science fiction, but not in a familiar way. It’s a mockumentary and a diary and a million other things all thrown together into one. My warning is that it’s a challenging read (in that the formatting itself gets…perplexing at times - do yourself a favor and do a quick google image search for the book and see what I mean), but so, so worth it. I’ve probably read it five times, and every single time I find something new and bizarre to sink my teeth into and ughhhhh. I just love it.

[smallcowplant]

I was tagged by @viiavi! <33

Rules: Post 57 facts about yourself and tag at least ten people. When posting include the tag “57 facts” in order for people to find out more about you and perhaps find a kindred spirit to talk to.

I used to pretend that I was Stevie Nicks when I was a kid. I’d take my mom’s scarves and necklaces and twirl around like a maniac mouthing the words to Timespace.

I didn’t leave the island I grew up on for twenty years (not even for vacations or trips). When I left, I didn’t have any intention of ever going back. 

My brother and I are seven years apart and he is my closest friend. Coincidentally, we are both libras (my mom used to joke that we balance the family out).

Drinking coffee is a huge part of my creative process. 

I’m right handed and definitely right-brained.

I tend to form better relationships with people who are older than me. As a adult, all of my irl friendships/relationships have been with people who are slightly-to-significantly older than me. 

I get lost in daydreams often. 

I’m 5′ 6′‘.

I can’t drive and never wanted to learn. It’s a legitimate problem.

I’m slowly learning to cook and I really enjoy it.

I hate the taste of alcohol. If I drink, it has to be something sugary + frozen or wine-----otherwise I’ll probably vomit.

My lucky numbers are 4 and 6. I don’t really know why? I just associate those numbers with good things. 

Proud Hufflepuff. 

My little brother and I were once being stupid at home (I was probably around 10 or 11) and thought it would be hilarious to “pretend to call 911″. My dumbass accidentally did (and hung up quickly after that). Two cops showed up. They asked a couple questions and left after a few minutes of sussing us out. Not even five minutes after they left, my mom pulled into the parking lot. Close call. 

I’m a romantic and thrive on affection and love.

I’m the kind of person who will spend an hour on my makeup and virtually none on my hair. 

My first fictional crush was on Shaggy from Scooby Doo. Both animated and in the live-action movies, lmao.

I thought that I was a cat person until I adopted my dog! Now, I definitely consider myself a dog person (who still loves cats).

My circulation is shit. I get cold super easily.

I love rainy weather and storms. 

My favorite food is spaghetti.

I’m a very sentimental person and put a lot of value on gifts/cards/personal objects.

Christmas and Halloween are my two favorite holidays! With an emphasis on Christmas, lol.

I had a truly amazing experience when I took shrooms. Not trying to endorse drug use, but psychedelics are fascinating. 

I love movies so much. Film-making and cinematography are such incredible things to me. I would love to be part of that creative process.

If I could have lunch with one famous person, I would definitely choose Lana del Rey. She’s been such a massive inspiration for my writing and personal aesthetic....I would love to meet her and have a conversation.

Tied to that last fact, LDR has been the only artist I’ve seen live! I went back in February and I’m still not over it!

I haven’t had any close IRL friends in years. I only vibe with certain types of people and am very picky when it comes to who I let in.

I used to write fanfiction. Big yikes.

My middle name is Ray.

I love pretty clothes but I hate wearing them because I feel like I’m going to ruin them.

I really love the vibe of airports. Not flying, getting through check-in, the stress around it, or any of that, though! Just the feeling of walking to your terminal, of the air conditioning, the smell of black coffee in the air......it just really ticks something for me?

Aliens are real and so is magic.

I desperately want to meet and hang out with an alpaca.

I’ve never been to a wedding.

I almost drowned in the ocean and it was the single most terrifying thing that has ever happened to me. 

I saw Wicked in NYC at the Gershwin Theater and it was magical.

I love the idea of getting a tattoo but I also can’t commit to any tattoo concept, so I’m not sure if I’ll ever get one. 

However, if I was to get a tattoo, I think I’d get a portrait of my dog and a sleeve featuring different cryptids!

My least favorite foods are oranges and purple grapes (yes, I think there’s a distinction between purple and green grapes, and YES, I prefer green grapes).

I want to have a duck once I own a house.

^^This is because I used to be an Aquatics Specialist at a pet store and I had one client come in often to buy crickets. She’d bring her pet duck (I think his name was Percy) in and I’d give him little scratches and head pats. I LOVED HIM. He’d wiggle his lil butt when he’d see me and...……..wow, what a guy.

I think my handwriting is horrendous but other people seem to like it.

I’m very observant and detail oriented. 

In elementary school, I used to be a JPO (Junior Police Officer), which is basically a mini-traffic director. 

This is the only social media platform I have. You won’t find me on Facebook/Instagram/Twitter....they kind of squick me out.

I got my CPR + First Aid certification twice----only to never use it for a job. It has long since expired. RIP.

I have a large oval brown birthmark on my upper leg.

I love red lipstick but I haven’t found my perfect shade yet.

I’ve never broken any of my bones. I am sincerely surprised, tbh.

My favorite color is pastel pink.

I wish there were more opportunities to wear costumes/fancy clothes because I love looking Extra Af.

I used to collect Pullip dolls and BPAL perfumes. 

When I’m sick, I will marathon Twilight Zone episodes until I fall asleep.

I can be extremely stubborn and set in my ways. 

I turn 22 next week Wednesday. 

I’m 110% positive that my dog is my soulmate.

Not tagging anyone bc this is pretty intense and I don’t want anyone to murder me lmao!! 

[ourceliumnetwork]

Been a while since I went on and on about my family.

Probably because shit’s been kinda crazy in my life and frankly there’ve been other things to consider.

I have very, very complex feelings about my family.

I love them, dearly, with all my heart. They claim to do the same to me, and sometimes they do things that prove it. Sometimes they say things that make me think if I ever were to open up completely to them I would no longer be loved. They have helped me and protected me during rough times in my life and I will be forever grateful to them. They have also caused me harm and trauma and seeded deep seated anxieties and complexes that will cause me distress for some time yet as I work my way through all of it. They are also, undeniably human, and for that I cannot find it in me to dislike them for their faults. Much.

Because of the trauma and hurt I’ve been through - whether sourced from them or not - it is incredibly easy for manipulative people to latch onto my insecurities and my anger and turn that into something they can use to isolate me from the people I am closest to both genetically and emotionally, thus making it easier to hurt me differently, more.

This has happened at least twice that I’m aware of. Once with a former best friend who I don’t know intended to be as manipulative and abusive as she is/was but intent doesn’t really matter I suppose. The second time was with my ex-partner I left this past April. 

To my eyes it always appeared that my younger sister was the favorite of my parents, and to my sister I appeared the favorite, so we were essentially pitted against one another in a competition we never signed up for - and I believe this was done completely unintentionally. The constant struggle to be “good enough” for our parents’ approval placed us in the unfortunate position of being 2 hormonal teenagers within 3 years of age difference stuck in the same house 24/7. We were constantly fighting - screaming matches designed to hurt. Wild swings meant to intimidate but not connect because if I connected there’d be hell to pay. (I connected a punch at least once, and that’s just the one I remember because it was relatively traumatizing not only to her but to myself because I never actually wanted to hit her). She and I have mostly gotten through the misunderstanding of our motivations from that time period. She struggled because I was the “good kid” who never did anything wrong - even though she knew better. And she was talented and beautiful and got compliments on everything - even though I saw her handheld through some of the things I was forced to do on my own. It was very fraught, and honestly there were things that should have been done better but none of us knew what we were doing.

My parents meant well with everything. They tried not to play favorites but they were both older children determined not to let their oldest child feel like they had - and in doing so had caused their youngest to feel ostracized and like she would never be enough because I had the benefit of the doubt on my side. Confirmation bias - the oldest kid wasn’t in the wrong all the time, which meant I was never in the wrong because they hadn’t been in the wrong all the time (they thought). This was the wrong way to handle it but I don’t think I would have done any better.

They took us out of Public Schooling to homeschool when I was 12 and my sister was 9. They meant to make sure that we were getting the attention we needed in order to succeed. I’d been in the gifted program and was still bored, and my sister was being sidelined because she was placed in That classroom of her peers - the one filled with all the kids who were constantly in trouble, and with the teacher who probably didn’t need to be a teacher anymore. So they thought they would do a better job. My dad worked full time initially so he was gone a lot. My mom tried to teach but she is not a teacher. She is an excellent scholar and does very well with knowing things. If you know things on the same level she does? Great to talk to and debate with. If you’re not there yet? Forget it, you’re going to have to find someone else to teach you. My sister required a lot more attention as she was the squeaky wheel - she wouldn’t read because she finds it incredibly difficult (I’m pretty sure we’ve got some level of dyslexia, and hers is worse than mine). She was very good at math though, which my mother loved because my mother loves math. She picked my mom’s favorite foreign language to learn because it was relevant to her own interests and my mom latched on. 

I could read 5 books in a week, write pages and pages of stories, and would research like no one’s business. But I could not figure out math, I wouldn’t put the research into a paper, my stories were not for parental consumption, and I didn’t want to read the books I was supposed to be reading (they were incredibly boring, I stand by my decisions). But none of this interested my mother except in telling me how I was failing, so I was left to my own devices, sitting alone in my bedroom surrounded by my schoolbooks and doing nothing I was supposed to. It was a very artistically productive time in my life. When I got a laptop later in my teens, forget school work at all, nothing got done. I technically did not graduate high school and I only “passed” the assessment tests because I test incredibly well.

So I was alone for a very long time during the day until “my” parent got home from work. Cause I was Dad’s kid and my sister was my mom’s kid, as described above. But I couldn’t get into computers and programming the way my dad wanted me to - my sister was actually into more of the same interests as him, but they Do Not get along. Yes present tense. They do well in short periods of time but they are not ever going to be close-close. My mom and I are cut from the same nerd cloth and I thought at one point I’d maybe found a way into her heart by starting her going to a local comic convention with me. We did an annual day out just the two of us for a good couple years. I think I learned something the one time she tried to bring my dad and sister with us (neither of whom was in any way shape or form excited about the endeavor, and in fact both hated it immensely). We stopped going as regularly after that and haven’t been back since. That...that one still hurts so I’m going to try not to pick open that scab right now.

I spent a lot of time alone. I was trying to figure myself out. I was about 16 when I realized I was not a Girl. I’m actually still fairly certain my initial assessment is correct and actually I am a guy. I just...can’t do anything about it right now and honestly I’ve gotten used to existing as I am so I’m just going to keep on keeping on. It might change again, it’s been known to do that. I don’t know if it’s a natural thing for me or if it’s something that is induced by outside stressors but I’ll just continue existing and we’ll see how it goes.

My mental illnesses were ignored for the most part. Teenage Angst was what my depression was, I’d grow out of it. Normal was what my anxiety was determined to be (hmm, my Super Anxious mother saying my anxiety is just normal life? sounds fake but okay). ADHD? That’s something that kids with less attentive parents have, and since mine were super attentive - I was being homeschooled after all - I clearly could not have that. Plus it was fake, and if I wasn’t so lazy and unmotivated I wouldn’t have a problem. Also I didn’t know anything about ADHD so that was definitely not something I had. The fact that I definitely wanted to kill myself and frequently wanted to die and didn’t think I’d live past 18? I didn’t talk about that. No one knew because depression wasn’t real and if I said anything I was just “crying out for help” and clearly that was only what whiny brats did when they felt the world wasn’t being handed to them on a silver platter. 

I self-harmed intentionally for the first time at 14. I have done so infrequently since then. When I reached drinking age, I developed a mild problem - but I didn’t think anything of it because it was encouraged and supported by my family who didn’t know I was using it to cope with the fact that I still felt like dying but now was older than I ever thought I’d be and didn’t know where my life was going. I used pot as a way to escape with my first IRL friend in 7 years. She used it against me as a way to make me easier to manipulate and keep complacent. I let her.

I spent 4 years in a weird haze of things I don’t really remember very well or remember extremely clearly. I was constantly anxious and upset, and I still felt like dying but at least I wasn’t alone anymore. She constantly berated my sister (which I hated and promised never to let anyone else do ever again - which I then broke later but, well, I’m going to be better now). My family didn’t like her, which she used to pit me against them saying they only wanted to isolate me from others again. This is the same time I came to Tumblr and started learning about abuse cycles and signs. It took me a while to stop only attributing them to the way my family worked (not always abusive) and start comparing the lists to her behavior towards me (usually abusive). 

I finally realized something was wrong with all of it when I was introduced to a group of people in whom I found several new family members. If you’re reading this, you’re statistically one of those people so you already know what I’m talking about. This ex-friend of mine introduced me to the group and I was shocked at how people could positively support one another and be genuinely interested in my health and wellbeing and also the things I enjoyed all at the same time.

I met a guy through them and with his support and everyone else’s I left the manipulation and abusive behavior of this ex-friend behind. The relationship with the guy lasted 6 months and honestly I’m impressed we got that far now that I think back on it (note to self, if he’s named himself after war machinery it probably won’t work very long). It was the longest I’d ever been out with anyone, my previous record being 2 weeks. 2 months after the end of that relationship and I met my now ex-partner.

I won’t rehash that disaster. It was 4.5 years of slow build up to the shitshow that actually started in December of last year and culminated in April of this year. He used the same tactics against me as my ex-friend did. Slowly pull me away from my support system (who I was already farther away from than I’d been with Her). Remind me that they’d hurt me and that their attempts to hold on to me were to keep me away from others. Hide that he was trying to do the same himself, isolate me from my support system and give me a support system that already backed him up and would side with him no matter what. Use physical intimidation (whether intentional or not he did it, and it was new so I wasn’t prepared) to remind me that I was not in any position of power. Berate my sister, avoid my family, use their attempts to show me that he was in the wrong to prove they were in the wrong.

I swear to god the very next time someone else calls my sister a bitch I am throwing hands and getting the fuck out immediately because I Will Not.

It’s happened twice now and I’ve let it happen both times. It’s not fair to her and honestly it’s not even true. She’s...difficult to deal with, and sometimes she does things in a manner that doesn’t...make much sense to me but she’s not a bitch. She’s a woman who is extremely opinionated and has very strong views on How Things Should Be. She’s not bigoted or hateful which frankly is a surprise considering our upbringing. But she’s not a bitch.

Speaking of our upbringing, I guess I should mention I was raised in a politically conservative, right-wing household. There are certain radio talk-show hosts whose introduction jingles make me think of summertime and relaxation because that’s when I’d be listening to them the most thanks to my mom always having them on the radio during their broadcast times. The Liberals (tm) were Bad and the Republicans were the only hope our country had. The Gays were an evil to be endured but god forbid they get any rights or freedoms, and also women are completely equal to men and racism was abolished before my dad was born so it’s fine now. 

We weren’t super Christian - not until later anyway. We went to church on Sundays, and even then Dad took several years off where he just never went to a service. We listened to Punk music and pretended we were on the right side of things, and sometimes we listened to heavier stuff because Satan was bad but not that bad and also probably not real because Christianity isn’t a big deal it’s just important because Reasons (tm). We only prayed before big holiday meals and even then it was more lip service than anything. A tradition of Things You Do. I had friends who were way more performatively Christian than my family and I didn’t really think anything of it.

Of course now my dad’s part of one of those neo-baptists mini-megachurch cults (my bad, I did introduce him to it after I spent a summer in Louisiana) and he’s become weirdly open to things like Neurodivergence and Mental Illness but has regressed on the trans* and gay issues to, like, all the way back: “He’s just confused why does any guy want to wear a dress” and “she’s got a wife and I guess that’s fine because she’s an alright person but gay people shouldn’t get married or exist”. I vaguely know their stance on reproductive rights because we never actually discussed sex despite my dad and I communicating frequently in bawdy jokes and quotes from movies I shouldn’t have seen as young as I was when I saw them, but I told them at one point I was on birth control and I think my mom had a mini aneurism because she just kind of froze for a minute. It’s definitely not a favorable view but I mean...I can’t convince them to care about people who aren’t them and who experience the world differently from them so I mean

Mm and they’ve recently become gun owners which was a surprise. We never owned a gun, we never really talked about guns or gun ownership except as a political thing. Dad kinda mentioned it a little bit sometimes? that he’d one day like a gun but it was always a distant future sort of thing. And now they both have concealed carry licenses, my mom has a purse with a hidden compartment and a lock, they go out to the shooting range for dates together, and my dad went on his first deer hunt this year for a work retreat thing (?????? don’t ask me, I honestly don’t know or understand why that was a thing). 

I held a gun one time and it was horrible and I hated it. It wasn’t loaded or anything but it was heavy as fuck and I was so uncomfortable I immediately handed it back as soon as its owner was done with whatever he was trying to prove to me (it was first boyfriend war machinery name guy...again, every time i look back at that relationship I still don’t know how we managed to keep our shit together for 6 whole months. it was not my best decision but considering the other decisions i’ve made regarding relationships, I suppose it could have been worse). 

Anyway, I forget where I was supposed to be going with all of this. I think I was just explaining that my feelings about my family are complicated and uncomfortable? And I think the main thing I got out of this (which is a good thing, don’t worry) is that I am not going to let anyone else in my life determine my relationship with my parents and my sister ever again and anyone who tries to manipulate that (even with good intentions, it’s still none of their business) is a bad fit for me and needs to go.

Oh yeah, I guess this is also me coming out to y’all who are reading this: I think I’m a guy. I’ll let you know if my pronouns or anything change but right now I’m pretty much still coming to terms with the gender bit. It’s been a while since I properly explored my gender shit so we’ll see how it goes.

[snowlilys-wife]

85 Statements~!

Whew okay, finally got around to this. I was tagged by @crazyanime3, @catslab, and @adeslowmoqueen

The Last :

1.) drink: Dr Pepper 2.) phone call: The discord chat lol 3.) text message: Asia :3 4.) song you listened to:  Smoke and Mirrors cover by Lollia 5.) time you cried: Chatting with Briana a few days ago, because she made me really happy, so I teared up lol. Im a sap 6.)dated someone twice: Technically not, but we were “unofficially together” on and off before he finally broke up with me in high school. 7.) kissed someone and regretted it: I don’t regret kissing him since we were together at the time, but I do remember being caught making out during school hours and that caused a lot of drama. 8.) been cheated on: Nope 9.) lost someone special: Yeah... 10.) been depressed: Every day lolol 11.) gotten drunk and thrown up: Not of age yet. Next year~!

3 favorite colors:

12.) Cerulean blue 13.) Black 14.) Red

In the Last year have you:

15. made new friends: Yes! My online friends here on tumblr and discord! 16. fallen out of love: I was forced to after being broken up with. 17. laughed until you cried: Yes ahaha. 18. found out someone was talking about you: The other day, at work, yes. It was very frustrating 19. met someone who changed you: Yep 20. found out who your friends are: I feel like I have, yes. 21. kissed someone on your Facebook list: Both my ex and my current bf are on my FB so yes ahaha

General

22. how many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: I don’t have Facebook friends that I don’t know irl 23. do you have any pets: My family has 3 dogs and tbh, im sick of them lolol 24. do you want to change your name: Nah, im good haha 25. what did you do for your last birthday: I worked and then just hung out with my friend? lolol 26. what time did you wake up: About 8am or so because of work. I’m looking forward to sleeping in tomorrow <3 27. what were you doing at midnight last night: Chatting with Asia about SakuMahi lolol 28. name something you can’t wait for the announcement for: OvO??? Uhhhh maybe more voltron since thats recent right now? XD lolol idk. 29. when was the last time you saw your mom: Around 10:30 or so (Its 12:30 am rn) 31. what are you listening to right now:  Friend Like Me - NeYo cover 32. have you ever talked to a person named Tom: Nope. 33. something that is getting on your nerves: Many...MANY things lately. my boss is a big pain in the ass right now though 34. most visited website: Tumblr and Discord lately <3 35. hair color: Light brown (dyeing it red tomorrow ^_^) 36. long or short hair: Short 37. do you have a crush on someone: Yehhhh <333 my bf ahaha. Also I have tons of friend crushes too ;3  38. what do you like about yourself: whew uh... depends on the day 39. piercings: two ear piercings in both ear lobes and then 2 cartilage ear piercings on one side 40. blood type: I actually have no idea tbh 41. nickname: Ino pretty much it ahaha. (Although the discord peeps have started calling me “Han” and idk how i feel about this yet lololol jk yall can call me whatever you want XD) 42. relationship status: Taken~ 😘 43. zodiac: Leo 44. pronouns: She/her but honestly I shouldnt have to say that 45. favourite tv show: Changes too often, but some all time favorites are Durarara, Ouran, Servamp, and the Total Drama series 46. tattoos: None 47. right or left handed: Right handed. 48. surgery: No... unless you count stitches? 50. sport: I played softball for 2 years in high school, but not since then 51. vacation: Going to Disneyland for my birthday on Saturday and Sunday :3 52. pair of trainers: idk....?

MORE GENERAL

53. eating: Nothing atm 54. drinking: Nothin 55. about to: Lay down after I get this post done lolol 56. waiting for: too many things 57. want: too many things 58. get married: I plan on it, yes. My bf and I have talked about it many times 59. career: I want to be a freelance digital artist and do commissions and stuff but ya know

WHICH IS BETTER

60. hugs or kisses: Kisses. I love kissing <3 61. lips or eyes: Eyes 62. shorter or taller: Taaaaalllll >;D 63. older or younger: I prefer being older despite the responsibilities 64. nice arms or nice stomach: Arms i guess? I really dont mind 65. hook up or relationship: Relationship. 66. troublemaker or hesitant: Hesitant, definitely.

HAVE YOU EVER:

67. kissed a stranger: No way 68. drank hard liquor: Not 21 yet 69. lost glasses/contact lenses: Yes! its so annoying when you lose your glasses and you CANT SEE. i feel like Velma when that happens. 70. turned someone down: Surprisingly a lot???? Idk why people like me?????? 71. sex on the first date: No no no no way 72. broken someone’s heart: Probably...I dont want to think about that ;;; 73. had your heart broken: oh man...... a lot

74. been arrested: I am a good noodle 75. cried when someone died: I’m surprisingly apathetic in those situations... It’s not intentional! But I just cant cry 76. fallen for a friend: Whew...every time man.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

77. yourself: On good days 78. miracles: Definitely 79. love at first sight: Nah. It needs time to grow 80. santa clause: Never have really. 81. kiss on the first date: If the timing is right and it feels right, then you do you. I personally wouldn’t unless I was absolutely sure 82. angels: Yes

OTHER:

84. eye color: Brown. 85. favorite movies: Emperor’s New Groove and Iron Giant

WOOO I DID IT.

ALL DONE

Most of my friends have already been tagged, but ya know, I’ll tag the ones I havent seen do it yet.

@mermaibee @twofabricatedtruths @kavourikarma @allshewhispers @tina-nightray @angel-of-music-hyde-no-longer

[phoenixfire-thewizardgoddess]

1-100

…are you joking

no one on this earth wants to know that much about me 

you asked for it:

-

1: when you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk?

The intention is always more cereal than milk, and yet… it always ends up being the opposite. 

-

2: do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a wintery day?

…as an Australian, NO

-

3: what random objects do you use to bookmark your books?

Heh, what DON’t I use? 

Receipts, assignments, old documents, letters, other books, string, anything i can lean it against and hold it open with, etc.

even the odd obliging cat’s paw for a few minutes

-

4: how do you take your coffee/tea?

~I drink neither, I am boring like that~

-

5: are you self-conscious of your smile?

Yeah, I’m aware of how fucking ridiculous I look when I smile, and my non-perfect teeth.

-

6: do you keep plants?

not currently, but I used to have sunflowers and such

7: do you name your plants?

not usually, which is odd bc i name literally everything else

-

8: what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings?

~writing~

words are easy

have tried painting and drawing but i’m just so shithouse at it

-

9: do you like singing/humming to yourself?

Y~E~S

all the time

-

10: do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach?

All, depends on the day really.

-

11: what’s an inner joke you have with your friends?

Well, a few years back for some reason some irl friends and I would randomly start singing the Narwhals Narwhals song, or reply ‘the dirt is gone!’ after anyone said ‘Bam!’

but recently? online? uhhhhhhh… well, i send shitty mouse-drawn-in-Paint pics to the ever-patient camiluna27 and she finds polite things to say about them… which is our little joke

-

12: what’s your favorite planet?

Like my favourite Sailor Scout, it’s Jupiter.

-

13: what’s something that made you smile today?

Our foster puppy is coming today

-

14: if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like?

it wouldn’t matter what it looked like, we’d make it work even if our only furniture was a minifridge and a beanbag… sharing the chores, watching stupid shit at night, complaining or joking with each other, etc.

-

15: go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is!

It takes 230 million years for our solar system to make a single orbit around the Milky Way.

-

16: what’s your favorite pasta dish?

Tuna Mornay (? never been sure how it’s spelled tbh)

-

17: what color do you really want to dye your hair?

BLUE

-

18: tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up.

my brain is blanking, and yet last night i know i was recalling something really stupid…

-

19: do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw/ in it?

Nah, i just shitpost my angst or delight onto this site… 

-

20: what’s your favourite eye color?

I have no preference for eye colour.

-

21: talk about your favorite bag, the one that’s been to hell and back with you and that you love to pieces.

Oh, I got this shoulder bag thing from The Harry Potter Experience when it came to Australia… it’s half-covered in an ever-changing bunch of badges (keep losing and finding them/getting new ones). it’s been left in the sun, saturated, pelted with hail as i ran for cover, etc. 

-

22: are you a morning person?

I never used to be… but since the antidepressants, i’m finding mornings way easier.

-

23: what’s your favourite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations?

mess about on the computer, usually

video games or writing something, or chatting with people i can no longer see physically/it would be super expensive to meet irl

-

24: is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets?

yeah, a few

-

25: what’s the weirdest place you’ve ever broken into?

???? who in the hell is breaking into enough places to have a top ten list?

-

26: what are the shoes you’ve had for forever and wear with every single outfit?

Heh, I just have a handful of cheap-ass shoes I got from Big W a few years ago and I get cheap insert things to keep them alive. I randomly put on any pair i can find, whether they match the outfit or not… what other choice do you have with big lady feet and soft skin?

-

27: what’s your favorite bubblegum flavor?

Fruity

-

28: sunrise or sunset?

Sunset. 

Sunrise means I’ve been awake too long and have Fucked Up ™

-

29: what’s something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing?

not to bring her up consistently, but camiluna27 literally drew fanart of one of my fanfics (the first ever??? holy shit) and I was so goddamn flattered I almost couldn’t believe it… someone liked my trash and DREW SOMETHING?

such talent. much love. so excite. wow.

-

30: think of it: have you ever been truly scared?

Pfft, yeah, probably. 

-

31: what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about socks.

Socks are good.

I am making a sock right now, in viking fashion, it looks ridiculous.

Sleep? In winter, sometimes.

MISMATCHED SOCKS WERE A GODDAMN FASHION STATEMENT AT SCHOOL HELL YEAH

-

32: tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends.

Well there were two funny things.

the first one was this massive sleepover party, and the minute the lights went off with all these adolescents sardined on the floor (teens but like, everyone was just chilling nothing nsfw happening), the marshmallow war began

it’s 3am and people are being PELTED with the goddamn things in the dark it was chaos.

the other time, i’d gone to a party thing, put up a tent to stay over like the others and this other girl at the party i’d just befriended (along with her highly anxious friend i managed to calm down) was not sure how to get home and i’m like… stay in my tent i have space it’s chill

we’re sleeping in jeans bc that seemed like a good idea at the time (it was NOT)

everyone’s STARVING. like, no real FOOD was at this party (New Years party?) we had chips and softdrink and that was it… and i dunno if you know this, but no amount of like, chicken-flavoured chips will fill up the aching hollow in your stomach for Real Food

so we’re talking bc we’re awake, relative strangers who are starving together in a tent they’re intending to share the night in, and we get on to SUPERNATURAL

i loved the show still it wasn’t the disaster it became, yet… and she admits that the S1 episode with the Wendigo freaked her out… and i’m like, hah, yeah, glad we’re not in a tent with woods around, huh? bc i am an asshole… that was pretty much where we were

and around the same time, the free-roaming chickens on the property are slowly moving past and making satanic noises, freaking her out more so i changed the topic to calm things down… but then, later on (waaaaaaaaay too early in the morning bc some of us had to pee early and it was Effort™ ) i get back to the tent to find a Chicken. In. The Tent.

looking at me like *I* was being the asshole here for intruding on her rest.

the other chick-a-dee is sleeping and im thinking ‘well fuck she’ll freak if the chicken’s randomly there when she wakes… and i try to subtly get the chicken out, and if you know chickens… you can understand how i failed

it was hilarious, and disastrous. 

-

33: what’s your fave pastry?

don’t know, really

-

34: tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it?

Oh! I still have them.

There’s two, one called (creatively) Teddy, who wore a yellow onesie the Parental Unit made for him. My fondest memory of him was this time in kindy where we took our teddies in bc it was ‘Teddy Bear Picnic Day’, and during naptime, the teachers took the teddies and hid them around the playground…

We had to find them when we woke up.

Teddy had one foot in the top of the fence and looked like he was trying to leave/escape… i told the Parental Unit this story a thousand times over the years, the poor bugger.

The other one was made for me, after Parental Unit had a dream i’d be a girl. Her name is Heidi (you know, after the song? ‘Heidi, Heidi, Heidi ho, the elephant walks oh so slow’), she’s a pink elephant in a tutu and lovely and she and ted are hella safe for now.

-

35: do you like stationary and pretty pens and so on? do you use them often?

I do like them, and when i get a special pen i use it for EVERYTHING, then flounder to find a basic pen when it runs dry

-

36: which band’s sound would fit your mood right now?

I don’t know, i’m not really feeling anything.

What’s that song that’s just 3 minutes of silence?

-

37: do you like keeping your room messy or clean?

>.> Messy

When it’s clean, it’s Clean ™

But when it’s messy… >.>

-

38: tell us about your pet peeves!

*unfurls list*

people who stand in the way and block entire corridors to chat with someone and there’s a public bench RIGHT THERE

capitalism

i can’t remember any others right now but i know there’s LOTS… 

-

39: what colour do you wear the most?

Most of my outfits have black in them. We can pretend it’s slimming.

-

40: think of a piece of jewellery you own: what’s it’s story? does it have any meaning to you?

I have a dragon ring, my estranged godmother bought it for me from this massive local market we once went to, back in like 2007/2008? 

I love it so much for some reason (not so much th godmother tbh, she’s a pain) and it’s mass-produced, but i love it… wear it almost everywhere

-

41: what’s the last book you remember really, really loving?

Out of the Black Land by Kerry Greenwood

-

42: do you have a favourite coffee shop? describe it!

~nope~

-

43: who was the last person you gazed at the stars with?

Well, I looked up at them on the way inside the other night and pointed them out to the Parental Unit. They’re pretty stunning here, without city lights to obscure them.

-

44: when was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything?

??????????????????? that’s a thing?

-

45: do you trust your instincts a lot?

Perpetually, always. 

-

46: tell us the worst pun you can think of.

I can’t, you’ll punish me.

-

47: what food do you think should be banned from the universe?

that mayonnaise-peas pizza thing i just saw, WHY

-

48: what was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today?

I feared the wild animals in the dark when i was locked outside, and also feared Huntsman Spiders.

Today? the spiders and anything in the dark can square the fuck up, and fight my fear of disappointing everyone/failing

-

49: do you like buying CDs and records? what was the last one you bought?

used to, but the CD player in the car broke… so now i just use the ipod/itunes

-

50: what’s an odd thing you collect?

…monster high dolls, hardy boys books, comic books

-

51: think of a person. what song do you associate with them?

uhhhhhhhhhhhhh mind blank

-

52: what are your favourite memes of the year so far?

Cask of Amontillado and Joe Biden memes have been awesome

-

53: have you ever watched the rocky horror picture show? heathers? beetlejuice? pulp fiction? what do you think of them?

Rocky Horror? Good, interesting.

heathers? pulp fiction? no

beetlejuice? seemed a lot more exciting when i was little

-

54: who’s the last person you saw with a true look of sadness on their face?

our puppy

she’s learned the exact sad face to make when she wants someone to go outside and play ball

-

55: what’s the most dramatic thing you’ve ever done to prove a point?

can’t think of anything overtly, honestly

unless you count ‘yeah i can use a swivel chair instead of a ladder’ and the inevitable falling through a bookcase

-

56: what are some things you find endearing in people?

Honesty, Humour, Excitement and Communication/Connection, Creativity

When they energise, not drain

-

57: go listen to bohemian rhapsody. how did it make you feel? did you dramatically reenact the lyrics?

it has always been interesting, and it makes you feel dramatic… 

i can neither confirm nor deny…

-

58: who’s the wine mom and who’s the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why?

no idea

-

59: what’s your favourite myth?

define myth

like ‘mermaids are a thing’, or ‘that time a god did _____’ or like, ‘swimming right after eating can give you stomach cramps’?

-

60: do you like poetry? what are some of your faves?

used to

-

61: what’s the stupidest gift you’ve ever given? the stupidest one you’ve ever received?

uhhhhhhhh literally any fanfic i give as a gift, is stupid

i got two little plastic dicks as a joke gift from someone as a secret santa thing (another time i got a $2 piece of trash bag thing the size of my hand that broke the second i touched it, and i was rather upset)

-

62: do you drink juice in the morning? which kind?

no, but my fave juice is apple blackcurrant or tropical

-

63: are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be?

well, depends, i try to keep the series together and stuff, but mostly it’s ‘if it fits, it sits’ in the bookshelf

-

64: what colour is the sky where you are right now?

obscenely blue, like, you’d think it was computer generated blue

-

65: is there anyone you haven’t seen in a long time who you’d love to hang out with?

Yeah

-

66: what would your ideal flower crown look like?

…something with blue flowers, but let’s be real, the chance to wear a flower crown would be amazing even if they were all corpse flowers

-

67: how do gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty make you feel?

they are otherworldy and beautiful, they have a different energy to sunny days 

-

68: what’s winter like where you live?

Cold. Stubbornly wearing shorts and tank tops claiming you’re not cold. putting four layers on the bed bc what. the. FUCK.

-

69: what are your favourite board games?

Cluedo, Monopoly

-

70: have you ever used a ouija board?

Nah, that seems like a terrible idea. I refuse to be That White Girl™ who invites demons in…

-

71: what’s your favourite kind of tea?

Mortali-tea

Nah, none, i don’t drink tea or coffee, i am BORING. 

I am the Beige of people, beverage-wise.

-

72: are you a person who needs to note everything down or else you’ll forget it?

Sometimes. Esp. recently, I find noting it down helps, but usually I remember more than i assume i will.

-

73: what are some of your worst habits?

Lazy/procrastinate, eats stupid shit I SHOULD NOT BC I AM FAT AS FUCK, overthinks, boring.

-

74: describe a good friend of yours without using their name or gendered pronouns.

amazingly talented, fun, incredibly aesthetically pleasing, open, understanding, brilliant and a pleasure to interact with.

-

75: tell us about your pets!

Okay, so we have four cats and a doggo.

The two oldest cats are sisters, aged 11; very loving but also tiny murder machines so they’re inside mostly.

Two youngest half-siblings, aged 7; one is the perpetual kitten who loves affection, the other is a slinky boi who comes to you if he wants love, and not before (adores my sibling tho, their bond is strong).

Doggo is the baby, she’s 3 i think? Always energetic.

+ a foster puppy we just got today, just now, and she’s fuckin’ adorable but like, a massive ball of energy.

-

76: is there anything you should be doing right now but aren’t?

cleaning

-

77: pink or yellow lemonade?

PINK hell yeah

-

78: are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub?

HATE

i will fight ALL of them to the DEATH

-

79: what’s one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you?

Listened to me complaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaain

Also drew me art for no reason i mean, c’mon that’s so cute

-

80: what colour are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why?

Light blue, yep. loved it, and also it went with the underwater theme the family did

-

81: describe one of your friend’s eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of.

Amazing as orbs go.

-

82: are/were you good in school?

generally, shit at chemistry though (but then, if an entire class fails an exam, you don’t ask the students whose fault it is)

-

83: what’s some of your favorite album art?

uhhhh not sure

-

84: are you planning on getting tattoos? which ones?

maybe dunno

-

85: do you read comics? what are your faves?

my dude, so many.

Batman, Nightwing, Wonder Woman, Teen Titans, The Titans, ElfQuest, Avengers, New Avengers, Saga, Hawkeye, uhhhhhhhhh, like, i have HEAPS...

-

86: do you like concept albums? which ones?

i have no idea what that is

-

87: what are some movies you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives?

St Trinians, love that movie...

AVATAR

-

88: are there any artistic movements you particularly enjoy?

...good question, i have no idea what you’re asking

-

89: are you close to your parents?

The Parental Unit literally knows every facet of my being bc i can discuss anything with them. Even if we clash on ideologies or whatevs.

The Other One’s a violent stalker, so no, not that one.

-

90: talk about your one of you favourite cities.

I have been to like, Brisbane and Sydney... not a huge pool of cities to compare from. Uh, I like that there are so many comic book shops in brisbane tbh...

-

91: where do you plan on travelling this year?

Probs Brisbane.

-

92: are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese or a person who barely sprinkles a pinch?

Depends on the type of pasta, really.

-

93: what’s the hairstyle you wear the most?

Plaits. Keeps it out of the way.

-

94: who was the last person you know to have a birthday?

Sibling. I went all out with their gifts and am barely making it to monday... but it was worth it.

-

95: what are your plans for this weekend?

>get foster puppy

>chill/be boring bc you are the human equivalent of the colour beige

-

96: do you install your computer updates really quickly or do you procrastinate on them a lot?

Procrastinate, mostly. ‘Restart required’ lol nope, you can wait...

-

97: myer briggs type, zodiac sign, and hogwarts house?

ENTP, Gemini, Gryffindor

-

98: when’s the last time you went hiking? did you enjoy it?

oh god no. Grade 9 they had this youth action program... sent us orienteering in the bush... up a mountain, down a moutain, through the fucking lantana six times because the boys in the class have the map and can’t fucking read it right but ‘girls can’t read maps so why would we give it to you’...

it was a goddamn disaster, but we survived. hated it, so much

-

99: list some songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them.

Sia’s ‘The Greatest’, ‘Move Your Body’ and ‘Unstoppable’

‘This is Gospel’,  ‘Emperor’s New Clothes’, ‘Don’t Threaten Me With A Good Time’, and ‘Golden Days’ by Panic! at the Disco

‘Never Coming Back to Earth’ by Steve Aoki & Fall Out Boy

Most of the songs by Lindsey Stirling

‘Heroes’ by Generdyn

‘I Hope You Die In A Fire’

‘Wait For It’ and ‘History Has Its Eyes On You’ from HAMILTON

‘Assassin, Murder, Monster’ and ‘Chase the Morning’ from REPO! the Genetic Opera

‘The Beauty Underneath’ from Love Never Dies

-

100: if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? why?

I’d slam both at once and launch myself into a temporal paradox so i simultaneously never existed and also always existed therefore becoming a GOD...

[intpatypical]

ISTJ, INFP, ESTJ, INFJ, ENFP

ISTJ

The main ISTJ characters in my life are my mom and an ex friend from high school, plus some colleagues and acquaintances from university. I’m a regular reader of @ill-be-istj-if-no-one-else-is, but I don’t know her personally. As it happens with most strong Te-users, I get along better with them if they are women. Since I grew up with a Si-dom mother and our relationship is very good, I usually get along with Si-doms unless they are particularly immature. We tend to like the same kind of environment and share a common approach to the use of resources; I never get exhausted with Si-doms, if that makes sense.

As first impressions go, the ISTJs I know irl are very nice and proper people, probably a little blunt, literal and to the point; they’re typically well-mannered people who err on the side of honesty.

Positives I associate with ISTJs are: 1) They’re extremely realistic. If you want an accurate assessment of what’s happening, you should go to them. They are keen observers, they amass a huge amount of details for the sake of it while other people are skimming, and they don’t get lost in speculations, what-ifs and wishful thinking. If you want “just the facts”, they have all of them. As a high Ne user, sometimes I miss parts of what’s happening because I drift away mentally, and I have trouble separating facts from hypotheses, which results in anxiety and indecision. Consulting ISTJs helps me thinking better. 2) They’re materialistic in a good way. They know how to live life comfortably, and they have a healthy relationship with things, money and the body, unlike other people who ignore them or make them something abstract, like status-symbols or outlets for frustrations or sources of fear. 3) They know how to make things live long and prosper. Whatever they take up, it develops and leaves a legacy, though they often don’t realize this because they’re improvement junkies and critical of themselves and other people. As my sister said once, “ISTJs will outlive us all, with their relentless pedantry” lol.

Some negatives are: 1) Immature ISTJs can be conformists. They take anything different from the norm as a narcissistic statement and a failure to adapt, which I find unfair. 2) Sometimes ISTJs get stuck in routine and hinder their own development as people, gradually becoming bitter and depressed. While other people would notice they’re in a rut and try anything new to break the cycle, ISTJs have a harder time noticing when their bad mood is due to a lack of stimuli. Their boredom safety valve is broken, so to speak. 3) Under stress, they become worrywarts and fall prey of Dark Ne; their Dark Ne interacts with my Dark Ne and soon we all disappear in a gaping abyss of doom.

Strange as it seems given the stereotypes, I like going out and having fun with ISTJs and Si-doms in general, because they tend to go for the comfortable option rather than for the extreme one; this is not to say that they can’t dance the night away (they can be relentless in that, too) but my experience is that when you go out with Si-doms you’re likely to have a relaxing time rather than a wild night out. I’m a couch potato, so I appreciate this.

INFP

I’m pretty sure one of my school friends is INFP, and my sister’s boyfriend is textbook INFP. I’ve met several INFPs online; among the ones I follow on tumblr, there are @dragonflymage and @infpadvice.There aren’t many INFPs in my life, but the ones who are, I know them quite well. I often say INFPs come into two subtypes: the Sturm und Drang subtype and the Flowers and Butterflies subtype. I tend to get along better with the Sturm und Drang INFPs, though the general opinion online seems to be they are insufferable crybabies. Many of the stereotypes about INFPs are unfair and it’s safe to say it’s one of my “favorite” types to interact with irl, since their idealistic worldview is something I respect and value and they tend to be people with a lot of interests and an openminded, accepting attitude.

My first impression of the INFPs I met irl has been “airhead” (which is quite hypocritical coming from me, but still… I feel like Fi airhead is an upgraded version of Ti airhead) or even “attention whore” because my INFP friend happened to throw an epic emotional tantrum a few days after I met her and, being a very young Ti-dom, at the time I assumed tantrums were always contrived and attention-seeking (which, as I know now, is not always the case).

Positives I associate with INFPs: 1) They are always, sometimes doggedly, themselves. No matter what you throw at them, if they feel like something is not authentic to what they are or worse immoral, they can’t be persuaded to do it, even when it’s the most appropriate/advantageous thing to do. This is a controversial quality, but I’m persuaded society needs people like that to be remembered that not everything can be bought or coerced, however kindly. 2) They are creative; I’ve never met an INFP who wasn’t creative, even just in his/her unorthodox point of view. One of the INFPs in my life is a talented musician and when he works on his creations or gets busy playing he is the most practical and professional person in the world; there is this misconception around that INFPs are fluffy-bunny artists, but in reality, they are EITHER in fluffy-bunny mode OR in artist mode, and when they’re doing their life work they do it with Nazi rigor. 3) Though I don’t agree with the “crybaby” stereotype, the INFPs I know do have deep and nuanced emotions and a special reactivity to events. It’s like people who see colors better than others, but with feelings. I appreciate that, because when they express the results of all these reactions and introspections, they have more insight than the average person.

Negatives I associate with INFPs: 1) Sometimes they mistake what they feel for what is going on in reality, or base all their decisions on what they feel is right without taking into account real-life consequences, which can be very contradictory of their intent. 2) They’re touchy and insidious, because they don’t express anger or blow up at very small stimuli only they can discern. Beware of the Fi-dom subterranean butthurt; I’m convinced the death toll is higher than firedamp’s. 3) Epic sloppiness and distraction around anything that isn’t the central focus of their interests.Their Te is very all or nothing and they tend to be unrepentant around their disorganization.

As for what I want to do with INFPs… a writing project! Of course not all INFPs are writers, but I love their creative work process and I’d like to collaborate in some artistic endeavor; though we’d probably need some J people to keep us in check.

ESTJ

Strangely enough, I don’t know any ESTJ aside from a few acquaintances I’m not regularly in touch with. I’m ready to get to know people of any type, so I can perfect my theories about the world and everything, ESTJs included.My general impressions about ESTJs is that they would be the kind of people I squabble a lot with in the beginning, but we would come to appreciate each other in time. But again, since I don’t know any ESTJ this is all theory.

INFJ

I’ve met two INFJs irl and two are online friends, though I’m no longer regularly in touch with one of them. I follow @infjravenclaw, @infjdoodles, @mbti-notes on tumblr, among others. I can’t say I know INFJs enough to define what kind of relationship I have with them. One of my INFJ online friends is a good friend and a person I love having conversation with, but she is pretty different from other INFJs I’ve met, so I failed to develop a general idea of the type and the dynamic I have with the type. Other INFJs I met were less open, they had a more evident social facade, the context where I met them wasn’t ideal to get to know them better or they were much older. When I first met INFJs, they typically strike me as polite, soft-spoken and very civil. One of my INFJ work acquaintances is pretty much Perfect Liberal but Ambitious girl: well-dressed, firm but kind, intuitive, intelligent, slightly patronizing. If you stay with them long enough they reveal a wacky side: weird Ni theories about people, sudden flashes of sharpness or sarcasm, impulsivity/spontaneity under stress.

Positives I associate with INFJs: 1) Pretty much like INTJs, they aren’t boring people, to say the least. They lead with Ni, so there’s a particular depth and weirdness to their worldview which I love to analyze; since they strive to put other people at ease, what they really think deep down can be quite mysterious; as everybody knows, INTPs love mystery and the unknown, so… Plus, I particularly like their brand of thought, a seamless union of rationality and idealism (old-fashioned humanistic intellectuals); they think about people much more than I do, so their point of view about people or even fictional characters is particularly interesting to me. 2) The INFJ friend I regularly talk to is a generator of the kind of questions you could find in a Kokology book. What’s not to love about that? 3) They are very tactful and graceful during interactions, which is particularly relaxing to me because I’m surrounded by Thinkers (yay brutal honesty) and Introverted feelers (yay brutal authenticity). Sometimes you just need a place to rest and fangirl in peace.

Negatives I associate with INFJs: 1) Softcore manipulation and patronizing attitude. They are mostly well-intentioned and it’s almost second nature to them; they think they know what is right and gently steer people in that direction instead of asking directly or getting angry. This is controversial, since many people actually love being “guided” like that, but I’m a die-hard straight shooter and I might interpret some of these behaviors as dishonest or stemming from a superiority complex. 2) Some of them have developed such a strong social facade you get the impression you’re interacting with a kind, smiling wall. Behind the wall the INFJ sits comfortably in his/her armchair, while you are squirming uncomfortably and thinking about your undone hair. Not cool. 3) Tert-Ti is a strange beast. It supports Ni but it’s not strong enough to completely eliminate fuzziness and, well, bullshit; some INFJs spout off ideas who are suggestive but incoherent, or seem absolutely certain about stuff that isn’t proven. I think this is where the “Mystical Unicorn” stereotype comes from. Most of the INFJs I’ve met are strong readers, same for INTPs; if we were all in the same city, I’d like to create a book club lol. Lots of ideas and interesting discussion material.

ENFP

I’ve shared the same apartment with an ENFP during the first two years of university; plus one of my sister’s ex-colleagues is an ENFP and we are in one of those weird situations were both of us regularly checks each other’s Facebook but we don’t really talk lol. Here on Tumblr I and @numberoneintjfangirl, who is an ENFP, are mutuals.

Though I shared an apartment with an ENFP and before that we were schoolmates, I can’t really say I know the type well; that’s partly because I’ve only gotten to know well one person of that type, and partly because what I learnt about that person I learnt during my “wild” INTP phase. I was very immature and closed-off, even obtuse in some respects, so there’s a good chance I missed important data and misunderstood the person. I can’t recall the first impression I had of my school friend because we were probably 5 years old. The other ENFP I got to know later stroke me as a person with a very brilliant and fast-paced sense of humor; he is a true comedian, and not in an annoying way. This is a first impression I often get with Ne-doms btw.As for positives: 1) the ENFPs I met are warm and generous people with a lot to give emotionally. They seem surrounded by a positive and upbeat aura and they know how to have fun, which is a true personal quality which doesn’t get enough respect imho. 2) They are curious and openminded, and VERY accepting of other people’s lifestyle, however unconventional or even eccentric. They themselves tend to be true explorers/creatives and try anything once. This last thing is a double edged sword, but I think they can be very realistic people, despite their famous idealism, because they amass a lot of real life experience while others plan and daydream. 3) Unlike many other Feelers, they are very direct and usually sincere, maybe because of their tert-Te. If something is wrong they’re more likely to tell you instead of letting the butthurt ramp up in silence. Negatives: 1) Similar to ENTPs, they get tired of things and people very fast and lack focus. They tend to be thrill-seekers even in areas where the thrill is only associated to initial phases or tensions, like intimate relationships. This is not ideal if you want to build any stability (which one of the ENFPs I met really wanted, but failed to actualize). 2) Since they try anything once with an open heart, they try a lot of shit that is bad for them and is bound to go wrong, and hurt a lot afterwards. 3) They get annoyed by their own plasticity and wind themselves up in existential crises of the “Who am I” variety. I’d like to go on holiday with an ENFP! I’m much more cautious and “boring” in my daily life, but I ain’t scared of nothing that doesn’t live in my head, so I think it would be a fun experience for both.

Sorry for taking so much time completing this reply, the ask was huge ^^”

@likeadeepbluesea answers to your asks are included here as well.

[survivorcostarica]

Ep. 1 - “Imagine suffering, imagine euthanizing yourself, imagine losing your will to continue on...” - Randy

i cant see pls send imitrex

i have a crush on cole, i'm in this game and virgin islands with him and i really like talking to him.  he is really genuine and easy to talk to, i feel ridiculous for admitting this but this was the first thing i thought to confess about lol

I want to shoot myself in the fucking face what is my tribe?! 

Cole is such a messy thot, Kevin is that but without being remotely good at the game, Arika and Julia are best friends IRL and 1000% will be working together. Louise is a fucking saint but that also terrifies me because I can't do shit against her without being a terrible person. At least Madison is really down to earth and chill even thought I've known her for two days and met her on Club Penguin. I don't know Bryce, Noah or the other one so they're 1000% my go to people right now.

Ohkay hi hi. My name is Bryan and I’m here to try and NOT flop at this game. Ok sooo. I’m looking at my tribe and i notice. My best friend Madison is here. Just kidding i HATE her. Or at least that’s what i will want people to think so we aren’t targeted for our friendship or whatever cuz we had BEEF in our last game. Um. Josh is also here. I was in another game with him but i didn’t really get to talk to him that much. Other than that cole and Kevin seem nice enough and are talkative so that’s good. I guess I’ll just be able to talk more with other people later.

Imagine suffering, imagine euthanizing yourself, imagine losing your will to continue on in an ORG you were last minute filled into. I literally hate this whole tribe so much, and I'm going into this game with the mindset that we are losing every single immunity and reward. When I saw the first three cast reveal posts i prayed i wasnt on the orange tribe. i actually believed and god, and asked him for forgiveness for all the sins ive committed and pleaded my case to on why i shouldnt be on this tribe. but, alas here i am. so its time to play i guess I'm not good with social game, and thats why i usually fail at survivor. I always have a good first few days, but then its just me being inactive and skirmming my way until my inevitable premerge eviction. But in this game im literally going to pull all the stops i can. I will start to set up my reputation as a good survivor player. And it starts here. Even if nobody pms me I will take this game by storm. Meaning right now its getting good with the influential such as Jay and Drew. They have a few buds on the other tribe, and working with them can only help me when we hit merge. i'm also going to keep Chrissa tight because she is just such a good ally, but its also going to be hard to protect her as she is such a shit competitor. But thats all plans let me talk about to cast Cameron: Love cameron our last org played together we made final 3, and he asked me to cut him. I will keep him under my sphere of influence especially since he said he isnt familiar with this group of players Chrissa: I also love chrissa. She can be a little annoying sometimes, but she always has good intentions. She is fiercely loyal, and thats something great to have in an ally because numbers are more important in survivor than big brother Constance: I don't like him. I want nothing to do with him. The closest association I ever had with constance was us two being on the same cast reveal post. And I'm far more than content with that interaction. He's from facebook, and that means he is going to stir the pot when there isn't any stirring necessary. He is going to make a move just to make a move, and if I cut him earlier the better. But if I can work with him, and test and experience how he plays this game. I do think it would be more entertaining Drew: I have good relations with him but really havent played an org with him. I have no intentions on backstabbing him especially in this cast. I do think he will either slide into the shadows, or emerge as the person calling the shots for this tribe. Jay: Same as Drew tbh. They're together as a duo, so anything one does the other will follow. I'm not going to beef with him Jill: I haven't met Jill before this. but she is the driest person i have pm'd in a while. Me and her are having forced small talk, but i dont want to lose connections with her yet. I'm hoping she isnt well liked or well received so she can leave. Reagan: Me and her have butted heads so many times in vls. If you wanted a fight. Its going to be between me and her i bet your hat. Sam: I dont know if he's a newbie or from a community. But me and him kicked things off really well, and I'm feeling natural chemistry with him. I'll keep him near my sphere of influence for sure. Roxy: Going against Roxy is such a stupid move. Because she's just going to waste her whole entire game trying to vote you off. She gets really bitter easily, and i dont know what the hell she's saying half of the time. I dont understand her game or her mouth so im just gonna let her be...

[12:25:40 PM] 👑 Queen Roxy 👑: dam stop tryna out do my intro  do I have to add my likes too?  tch [12:25:48 PM] 👑 Queen Roxy 👑: I like big BUTTS and I cannot lie [12:25:53 PM] Chrissa Bullard: lol [12:26:54 PM] 👑 Queen Roxy 👑: okay Ill admit idc about the size of your butt [12:27:01 PM] 👑 Queen Roxy 👑: even if you have a small butt id still potentially like u [12:27:12 PM] 👑 Queen Roxy 👑: but yall are gay so like  what can a straight gal like me do [12:27:29 PM] Chrissa Bullard: hello sam and roxy with her butt equality [12:29:22 PM] Jill: if u wanna be my friend add me and SAY hey bc i forget to add people [12:29:53 PM] 👑 Queen Roxy 👑: and I say HEY what a wonderful kinda day [12:29:54 PM] Jill: also msg me ur pronouns thanks [12:29:57 PM] 👑 Queen Roxy 👑: you can learn and work and play [12:30:26 PM] 👑 Queen Roxy 👑: my pronouns are "my lord" and "your highness" [12:30:51 PM] 👑 Queen Roxy 👑: I said I was a she cause dan didn't take me seriously even tho imma hella serious [12:30:52 PM] Cameron Bee-Culpepper (Atomic Admin): my pronouns are he/they and they are actually serious :) [12:31:02 PM] 👑 Queen Roxy 👑: oi how dare you say I aint serious [12:31:36 PM] Chrissa Bullard: your highness is serious do not get my lords pronouns wrong :P [12:31:41 PM] 👑 Queen Roxy 👑: :/ I'm the lord and the queen roxy herself [12:31:42 PM] Chrissa Bullard: seriously though [12:31:47 PM] 👑 Queen Roxy 👑: of course my pronoun is your highness [12:31:57 PM] 👑 Queen Roxy 👑: thank you ! see? chrissa gets it! [12:32:02 PM] 👑 Queen Roxy 👑: look I even have a crown as proof [12:32:07 PM] Chrissa Bullard: true [12:32:13 PM] 👑 Queen Roxy 👑: i trans-itioned from being a commoner to being a queen [12:32:51 PM] 👑 Queen Roxy 👑: also if i don't pm you its cause i avoid social interactions at all times [12:33:00 PM] Chrissa Bullard: a mood [12:33:05 PM] 👑 Queen Roxy 👑: and i haven't left  my house in 9 days [12:33:13 PM] 👑 Queen Roxy 👑: apart from an hour once to go to the gym [12:33:17 PM] 👑 Queen Roxy 👑: i haven't recovered since i take medicine. its called coffee. it helps releave the symptoms of being dead inside

My tribe is probably going to be useless. Which means that we have to turn it OUT for immunity. Randy, Roxy and I are all attempting to make flags. I have faith in Randy's abilities... roxy, not so much. But she does have a good artistic ability, so I hope she turns it out for this. We can hope. We can hope.

Blah blah blah. Confessional confessional. The immunity comp is a flag making competition. Which means i can’t really participate. The one we have so far tho is super cute!! There’s a Julia on our tribe. I have to start learning people’s names. Ugh. Too much work. 

I think like our tribe will win immunity, looking at cadejo’s scores, they seem like flops I mean that tribe is super ugly so ya know… cute is gonna devour gorgeous. Anyways Anthony is doing great at the flag I gave him the ideas, he executed them for me so everyone is great. Also i got this red KEY

I really don't like my tribe but I think I like the other tribe even less just from the few people I've encountered before or at the very least heard about. If anything though that's great for me because I have all of two or three people I remotely care about so I have no issues with taking people out.

RANDY'S FLAG LOOKS TERRIBLE! but we're going with that one anyway!!! even though its literally furry meme nonsense!!! so i hope to god i dont get targetted when we lose bc i made an effort not to be a grumpy ass beyotch!

ummm roxy said she and sam wanna align with me!! it's so early!!! I may work with Reagan bc we worked together previously I think!! Everyone else seems fine. I'm gunna msg drew and everyone else tomorrow or later and say hey I've been napping!!! Go team

I honestly think im going because peop le don't tell me anything I'm scared 

[3/28/18, 1:55:57 AM] Drew (heuse1ac): "I love y-...ughch..." [3/28/18, 1:56:05 AM] Drew (heuse1ac): Cameron 2k18 im just gonna put this here ;)

Anyway. Here's some tea. Roxy thinks I talk too much about being in the hospital. Sorry sweaty, I'm disabled, I'm gonna be in the hospital. And I have the right to talk about whatever I want. ANYWAY, Constance, the literal loml, gave me this tea so that's great. I LOVE HIM. So we made an alliance of me and drew, because drew has a "bad reputation" (sweetie, you were the one making tasteless comments night one, let's not get it twisted here!!) We talk a bunch, we have good laughs, and we head to bed. I went into this round wanting to target Roxy anyway, but she just went painted a bullseye on her back for me!

This first round felt so nostalgic to me, in the sense that being gone from these games for a while allowed me to step back and revitalize the way that I play games. In the beginning of the game, I felt an immediate connection with Cameron. He is someone who has a really nice, personable outlook as a person and I could see myself becoming really good allies and friends outside of this game. I also really enjoy Drew, Sam and Jill. Drew: I was excited to see him in this game because we just met a few days before the game started because he flirted with me a little and I thought he was a nice guy in general. I haven't had the chance of getting to know him all that well yet, though he stated to me that he will not write my name down throughout the game when we were first added to the tribe, so I hope that stays as promised. Sam: We both come from the same community but we both individually transferred to Tumblr at different points in time. I don't know him well enough to say he could be someone I stay with for the long run, but I have had a few calls with him and he seems pretty straightforward about what he wants in this game and where he wants to go. I'll leave it at that for now. Jill: She is literally everything that is me. "I'm going to see my sugar daddy," "I am eating a whole barbecque chicken pizza to myself," "I need money" I LOVE THIS CHICK! We need to align and become friends for sure because I can't see myself without her! One smaller relationship I have is with Chrissa and that will require some work on my part, both game wise and friend wise included. We had a rough past on a personal note but we are working our ways around it to become friends again on a personal level, not even on a game level. I feel like if Chrissa is able to handle herself in this game with me the way she did in Arrakis ages ago, she should be good to go with me! The people I really don't talk with or connect with right now are Jay, Roxy, Randy and Regan. - Jay just hasn't spoken a lot, but that may be subject to change? - Regan has this huge negative perception that everyone has given about her and I'm honestly not about holding past games or whatnot against anyone. If she is as crazy or as ballistic as people say she is then that will happen on it's own accord. - Randy is..Randy. I'm not really putting a whole lot here. He comes off extremely weird to me and I'm not feeling it. - Roxy and Randy both share the same trait they don't mind expressing: their messy players. I'm not one to want to play with people who are going to knowingly make things difficult for me in this game moving forward. I feel like getting out people who tend to be wildcards for my individual game will boost my ability to better know the personalities I surround myself with. Intended Target: Roxy Reason: I had a call with Sam and discussed some feelings about the challenge for the flag that had taken place. In my individual opinion, expressing the idea of putting in effort for a challenge and then doing the opposite of what you said you would do, shows a false sense of sportsmanship and that bothers me. Roxy said she would make a temporary flag as a concept, but never did and constantly said "I'm lazy, so I don't want to do it." Adding on to the reason above, I was asked if I wanted to be added to a call with Sam by Roxy as they were both speaking with each other and I said I wouldn't mind joining. We both tried asking Roxy about potential ideas for the vote off and Roxy made it clear that Regan would be too easy to get rid of. Then came the critical point of the conversation where Roxy would bring up Cameron and Drew's names, stating that Drew apparently has a bad or weird reputation in the Tumblr community of games, but this is COSTA RICA not any other game. She also stated in regards to Cameron word for word that, "I just think Cameron talks about themselves too much in the main chat, and that brings people to feel for them more, and that makes them look bad" and this was in relation to when Cameron stated he was in the hospital. I found that to be extremely bothersome because otherwise, Cameron has never talked about himself constantly or anything like that. My intentions are to pull myself, Drew, Cameron, Jill, Sam and Jay to vote out Roxy. I started the idea when I asked Sam on call blatantly and he agreed and I calmly took it by step. That's all I have folks! I hope this works out and if for some odd reason I go home first, well then it was fun while it lasted! 

Okay so I need to catch yall up on how shit can turn into bliss SO reward I literally ate shit in. i scored to lowest out of everybody in the whole cast. Making myself inferior to competition flops like Chrissa. So that wasnt really well. However my soccial game has been stepping up. Even though im lacking a little bit in the pm part of my game. I have been having good chemistry with literally everybody in the tribe chat. I have also led us in the flag immunity. So me and Cameron made a flag. And the tribe had to pick which one, and it was pretty set even. I do think the end result wouldve been the same but it was nice to see people on my side and supporting me. So then we lose the tribal flag, and im literally yeeted away from the tribe. Which is really good since with this tribal vote i wouldve been thrown under the bus. allegedely roxy has been throwing names around, and had i stayed in the tribe it might of been my name that was thrown around since it was my flag that lost. so im happy to avoid the drama of the first vote. but now that people have bonded since roxy's polarization im starting to become more outcasted. I just need go stronger for immunities and amp up my social game even more. Since ive been to the other tribe I have a feeling on whats happening. Cole is aligned with all them bitches. Literally Madison Louise are people he's played with before, and when we talked in pms he said this tribe is full of his friends. He is very safe in his tribe which is really nice. Since the League of Gays need to work together at the merge : ~)

[kollected]

Meeting Boys from Omegle IRL As a Method of Travel

(April 9, 2018)

At 17 years old, I was a senior in high school. I was not very outwardly social, but that’s because I didn’t waste my time with people who  I thought wouldn’t “get me.” It was probably a mistake that I made that judgement, but that was high school, and now things are a little bit different.

I was always in search of finding my people or my tribe. I never found them all in the same place. Instead, I’d scour the internet for hours on random chat websites like Omegle or in years previous, Habbo Hotel. I always had the curiosity to learn about other cultures and how other teenagers from around the world lived, if they had similar hobbies, or liked the same music.

I made my first friend from the internet on Habbo with a girl named Vanessa from Australia. We would video chat on Tinychat chatrooms and listen to Nirvana, her favorite band. At first I really liked Vanessa, but then I felt conned when she told me that we should send each other mail. I sent mine, but she lied. She kept asking for forgiveness after that, but then she’d make up other lies and started copying my life and my style. I think that’s why we aren’t friends anymore. I hate copycats. And liars.

After Vanessa, I was turned off from Habbo. A friend from art class told me about Omegle, and that’s when I became addicted. Every day after school, I’d lock myself up in my room and look for someone I could talk to. It took many hours of sorting through guys jacking off, but somehow I found some quality friends. Most of them were male, but out of maybe 7 internet friends made from Omegle that I’m still in touch with today, I only fell for two of them. (And now we no longer talk anymore)

It’s strange what kind of connections you might find so far away. How can you feel so close to someone and feel like you really KNOW them when you’ve never met in person? From my experience, it’s a whole new dynamic when you spend time with people in real life. Your expectations of who they are as a person might be completely different than who they are to their friends or family in real life. That’s why I’ve made it a mission to travel to each place I’ve made a connection, and at 23 years old now, I’ve already met 3 people from internet friendships I formed 5 years ago. I’ve got my next one coming up in May in Montreal, CA. I can’t wait.

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People I’ve met So Far

1. S. W. -An artist I met by driving 9 hours from Charlotte, NC to PCB, FL because I was deeply infatuated with a narcissist. (Obviously didn’t work out)

(Met on Omegle October 2012/ IRL Panama City Beach, FL September 2016)

>I paid for the gas, did the driving, paid for an airBnB that we BOTH stayed at, paid for meals, and still got ghosted after a WEEKLONG-LDR.

>>Thought I did everything for him, but that was exactly the problem. The moment I asked him to come and visit me before throwing my life away to live in a van with him was when things ended. I desperately needed to learn to love myself first before committing to a life of love for someone else. 

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2. G. B. -A graphic designer I met by flying my first international flight to the Netherlands (to see a stranger).

(Met on Omegle June 2012/ IRL Amsterdam Schipol Airport April 2017)

>I paid for a plane ticket to the Netherlands to meet one of my BEST friends in the world. There were never romantic intentions, and he still treated me the absolute best. He took me to his favorite places to get food, we went sight-seeing, saw bands play together (multiple times), and he insisted on paying for everything as a way of showing his hospitality and friendship. I would never ask someone to pay for everything because I like to be fair, but he said that was how he would repay me for being brave enough to visit a stranger overseas. 

>>It was great to experience my best friend’s world up-close and to see what he was like behind the screen. To my surprise, he was pretty much exactly how I always imagined him, and that’s why I think we are such good friends. I love authenticity in people. And he is someone who I know will always support me in any endeavor, but also knows how to tell me great advice and be a listening ear.

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3. Q. F. -A football (soccer) and everything Toronto enthusiast that I met by calling him to pick me up from the Toronto airport while I had a 14 hour layover on the way to Serbia.

(Met on Omegle February 2012/IRL Toronto Airport, November 2017)

>I was going on a flight from Charlotte to Belgrade, but I had a layover in Toronto both ways that was extremely long. I hadn’t talked to Q.F. in a long while, but it was the ultimate test of friendship to see if he’d allow me to spend the night in his family’s home even after all this time. Would he remember a seemingly meaningless internet friendship that other people often forget? It’s so much easier for online friends to drift apart from each other due to having no physical quality time spent. I’m glad that we picked up right where we left off, and sitting in the car with him on the way back to his house was almost like a familiar experience. It had me thinking so many things like “maybe we do meet everyone for a reason, and this reason might be right now.” It made me so thankful that some of the friends I made, the real ones anyways, are going to help me in any way that they can.

Upcoming

N.W. -A musician/producer that was formerly in a synthy shoegaze band when I met him, but now has a variety of smaller projects he focuses on. He’s bisexual and we mostly talk about boys we like because we’re both pretty boy-crazed.

(Met on Randomchat App November 2015/ IRL May 2018 in Montreal, CA)