#THAT'S VERY LONG BUT I HOPE THAT HELPED
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bloggingboutburgers · 2 years ago
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What are some LDR green flags and some LDR red flags? (bonus points if there's some ace specific ones)
Sorry I took forever to answer that one TwT
I mostly saw a lot of green flags in my own LDR, so it was hard to find red flags at all hehe TwT So I had to talk it over with my partner to get their side too...
In terms of green flags, like I said, I've experienced a lot, but I would say a surefire one is vibing for the same activities to do (either remotely or during the times you can meet in person), and of course, it might sound silly, but just the sheer realization that meeting in person doesn't feel weird, that it just feels either as good or even better than speaking remotely. It speaks volumes. (Ace-wise, personally, I would say few things can beat the feeling of being with that person physically, maybe cuddling and whatnot, and being like "...Ah, wow, I feel really safe with them." It's an ugly reality of at least my own ace experience but I have basic fears of being even the slightest form of physically intimate with most people for a long while; I used not to but then I realized that some people will want that to lead to more, and while that's never put me in danger, it definitely was a cold shower to remember. So... Yeah. Feeling safe is wow.)
Some points that my partner and I would advise to be mindful of, so it doesn't turn into a red flag, would be the following:
Be transparent of when the other person is available/up to talk/etc, and be transparent if YOU're not available or not feeling it today, otherwise it can lead to worries.
Don’t cut the line of communication in the event of an argument. It can be tempting, using a remote speaking service, to just hang up if things escalate, but it won't solve anything. Taking a break is fine, but it's important to basically take the argument to a calmer conclusion, and work out dynamics to calm things down and feel better, not let resentment or stress simmer on forever.
On a similar line, don't bottle up if you feel bad. If the person can't see you, or at least not as often, it might be harder for them to pick up on signals of you don't being as well, so it's important to mention if needed.
Getting your parents and friends to respect your relationship and the time you devote to it. Now that one was tough for my partner and I because we weren't out to our families for quite a while, to preserve ourselves, but that also meant basically that, externally speaking, our families just saw us as texting someone a lot or videochatting a lot, which the less open-minded people will associate with not having a life. It's important to advocate that it's important, even to yourself, if nobody else will do it. And that's definitely a tricky one that you might need to fight for.
Overall basically always communicate and have a genuine want to work on things. LDRs are work, but they're definitely worth it if they make you happy.
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marisatomay · 14 days ago
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It's so funny that everyone immediately called Eddie gay for doing the Risky Business dance and he is but he also just beat for beat recreated what Tom Cruise did in Risky Business and. well.
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shalom-iamcominghome · 2 months ago
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I've been doing a lot of reflection as of late, especially after this past class.
This past class was about the Torah and Tanakh in general, and the way the rabbi talked about the commandments (specifically the ten commandments) has made me really reflect on how I interpret them, specifically the fifth commandment, or honoring your mother and father.
This is a commandment I have wrestled with for a long time - in fact, it brought me away from g-d at multiple times. I was severely abused when I was incredibly young by my mother, and I used to feel insulted at the implication that I were to honor her while she got to live a better life. It was hypocritical, in my eyes.
But this rabbi surmised that this particular commandment was because parenthood is an act of creation, something that is like the g-d from which we come from. My realization is this: I don't think we're necessarily meant to take even these commandments literally.
I this particular commandment is more of a call to honor creation - creation is a gift, and like any gift, many people simply will not like it and will discard it. The person who abused me created me, but she did not honor creation. She didn't honor me, but I can still honor it.
I have started to honor creation much more. I'm too young, too unstable, not mature enough to be a father (though I fantasize about it), but I create all the time. I create relationships, I create with my hands through crochet. I create memories, I create my world. And I can honor who I am and where I came from that made me who I am. I've been learning one of the mother tongues of my family (Italian, since part of my family originates there) and it was judaism that inspired me to do this.
I don't think g-d wants me to honor my abuser. I think He wants me to remember the Holy action of creation. When I am a father, that act of creation will be Holy, and indeed, I am already joyful about the thought.
I have seen many people struggle with this particular commandment, but I think this perspective helps me personally. I don't think I ever have to forgive my abusers (plural), and I don't think I am commanded to simply because they happened to be family. I am commanded to recognize the holy, to elevate the mundane. In doing so, I will remember g-d. Through creation, I honor g-d and everything he has done for us, for me, and for our collective people.
#jumblr#jew by choice#jewish conversion#personal thoughts tag#abuse tw#i am not sharing this for the sake of pity and i also ask not to be told to divulge my abuse story. that isn't relevant#i have been needing to engage with this topic for a long time though and judaism has helped me a bit in navigating healing#but i decided to share this publicly in the hopes it will help other survivors specifically of familial/parental abuse#i know how it feels (in general). it's so lonely and you can really harbor (understandable) baggage about this particular commandment#i have a meeting with My Rabbi (sponsoring rabbi) and i might bring this up. we've only spoken once face-to-face (zoom)#so that might be really Intense to bring up to him but he is very kind and i trust him (which is why he is My Rabbi)#and he has already told me that he WANTS me to wrestle with g-d and His word *with* him#again i am posting this publicly so i can document my thoughts and keep them straight but also with the hope it MIGHT help others#if it even *casually* inspires another survivor i will feel so grateful (though it is THEIR achievement and not mine to claim)#i want us to survive. i want us to eat well. i want us to smile#i will say that this must be a very sudden whiplash in tone from my last post about sex. from sex to awful horrific abuse#my stream of consciousness is just Like This though in the sense that i have very sudden realizations and tonal whiplashes#so you're just getting a very frank look into how my brain is structured and what my brain thinks are important enough to think about#if i seem much more verbose it's because i needed to write this on my laptop which makes typing and more importantly yapping even *easier*
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5ummit · 2 years ago
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So there's this post with a troubling number of notes going around insisting that "dead dove" is not a genre, it doesn't inherently have anything to do with darkfic, and that the tag could be applied to fics that are "100% fluffy where everyone's having a good time" if they happen to contain some abnormal (though entirely non-problematic) content like an unusual kink. The claim is that "dead dove: do not eat" is simply a "courtesy tag" that means "this is a very specific niche, mind the tags." And that's just... wrong.
I wrote up a whole rebuttal to this post since I can't stand misinformation and frankly OP was being kinda rude and judgey on top of their wrongness. But right after I posted my reply, OP turned off reblogs because, and I quote, “some fuckwad added some dumb shit onto this post and it is no longer educational” (the “fuckwad” being me and the “dumb shit” being proof that they were wrong). A couple people have asked me to make a rebloggable version of my response, which I've decided to do because this isn't the first time I've heard similar claims and I want to help set the record straight. However, I'm not linking the original post on the off chance this gains traction because OP did the right thing by turning off reblogs, preventing it from circulating further, and I don't want them to get hate for being unfortunately misinformed.
For those who don't know the history, "dead dove: do not eat" was originally proposed as a catchall "hydra trash party" alternative label for any fandom to warn that the content of a fic may be considered problematic or potentially upsetting and to read the tags carefully so you know what you're getting into and won't complain later. Specifically, DD:DNE was intended to convey that the Bad Things in the fic would likely be reveled in and not explicitly condemned by the narrative, which some people tend to get up in arms about, hence the need for the extra warning in addition to the tags. Don't believe me? Here's the original proposal (note DD:DNE can be found on a handful of fics dated before 2015 but this is when it really took off and became a Thing).
There are currently around 50,000 fics tagged as "dead dove: do not eat" on AO3 and close to 50% of those also include the rape/noncon warning (which of course is not the only type of "dead dove" but is one of the most popular and most consistently tagged). The normal percentage of noncon fics in any given fandom? Around 1-3%. That's a HUGE disparity. So don't tell me that dead dove is just a general "courtesy tag" and doesn't or shouldn't have dark connotations. Even the context of the original joke on Arrested Development has a dark undertone. Micheal Bluth casually finds an animal carcass in a bag in his refrigerator with the label "do not eat", as if eating it would be any sane person's first thought. The whole situation is kinda fucked up. And this fucked up vibe very much carries over into fandom usage too, as was intended.
The claim that dead dove has nothing to do with the content's genre and could just as easily be used to describe a 100% fluffy fic in which everyone's having a good time is straight up Wrong, or at the very least, severely warping the original meaning. Also, when someone these days says that they like/dislike "dead dove" most people in fandom automatically understand what that means because of the consistency of its usage over the years and the way language evolves. Whether you like it or not, "dead dove" IS a genre now and the term does carry a specific connotation. I do agree that DD:DNE should definitely still be used in conjunction with other tags, when applicable, to be explicit about the exact type of fucked up content you may find, but to say that the term is meaningless on its own is patently false and I'm tired of people who don't know what they're talking about pushing this narrative and causing even more confusion.
You want a generic term that also means "mind the tags" and doesn't have any inherently dark connotations? Just use good ol' "what it says on the tin" instead of trying to force dead dove to be something it's not.
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stagefoureddiediaz · 2 months ago
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The Helena diaz of it all has me fascinated. I’ve said for a long while that Eddie’s real issues are his mommy issues and this episode just cemented for me that we’re gonna explore that and deal with it.
Because it’s Helena who forced Eddie to grow up to fast - because her husband wasn’t around much - so she pushed Eddie into de facto parent and husband role ls - selfishly filling her needs and ignoring the damage it was doing to her son (it is a form of abuse in my book).
Eddie then had the audacity to fall in love with and marry Shannon and get her pregnant. It’s why Helena was always so off with Shannon - she was punishing her. She is also punishing Eddie for all of this and his refusal to return to El Paso only cemented further her bitterness and resentment.
Now she does have Ramon back she doesn’t need Eddie any longer to fill that role so she is still punishing him and part of that is tied into her glee over now getting to parent Christopher - something she has always been intent on doing the doppelgänger just gave her the opportunity- as well as allowing her to further punish her son and his love of Shannon.
Her barbed comments about building a pool were all about showing what she can provide Christopher - how she is parenting him better than Eddie - it’s part of her mind games - making Eddie feel like more of a failure as a parent to his son.
The reality of course is that the reverse is true - Helena’s parenting is all superficial, flash and showy - it isn’t the hard day to day parenting when things get tough and you have to be the bad guy. While Eddie has made mistakes, there is nothing superficial, flash, or showy about his parenting. It’s why bucks comments about Eddie being a great dad are so important.
Eddie feel like a failure right now and that he is entirely to blame for everything. But in reality, while he does bear a bit of the responsibility, the truth of the matter is that he needs to learn and deal with the fact that all of it actually stems from Helena and her abuse of her young son - Shannon never stood a chance just like Eddie never has.
#genuinely don’t see how she can get any sort of redemption arc#but this is 911 so maybe they’ll find a way 🤷🏻‍♀️#Helena’s treatment of Eddie is a form of child abuse - it has done so much damage to him psychologically#I do really hope we finally get to meet Sophia and adriana as part of this arc beciase I think it might be very revealing#I am also wondering if Ramon had a stache in the past - and that is what Eddie is subconsciously trying to mimic#and that is about him trying to regain his mothers affection - trying to fill that husband role she forced him into#and that shaving it off is a part of his dealing with that and choosing to free himself from her clutches#and in doing that - standing up for himself etc - it will be the trigger that v ring schristopher back#the catholic guilt and Eddie’s queerness is also all tied up in this - the church reinforces and condones Helena and her actions#the Catholic Church has a long history of abuse of children in all it’s horrendous forms#so Eddie seeking solace in that direction think it will help him find away back to Helena’s good books only for it to open a few doors he#has bolted shut#as for the queer aspect - forcing Eddie to grow up too fast and fill this role of husband to his mother and parent to his siblings means#Eddie never got the chance to learn who he actually is - to explore his sexuality and all that goes with that - at the age one normally#would - as a teenager and into your 20’s. it explains so much around his relationship with Shannon and dealing with the helana of it all#and the queerness of his identity - ​will also allow him to actually let Shannon go#Eddie’s arc is going to be incredible - heartbreaking and gut wrenching - but incredible#Helena diaz it’s on sight - she is evil and cannot be redeemed in my eyes!#911 spoilers#Thinky thoughts#eddie diaz#911 abc
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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 1 year ago
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ORV is about enduring the horrors in real time.
(for @everyonesfavoritebastard)
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zehl0w · 3 months ago
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Zenitsu agatsuma has got to be the biggest egg I have ever seen in my entire life
#demon slayer#kimetsu no yaiba#zenitsu agatsuma#nezuko kamado#there’s genuinely no way bro doesn’t have smth going on with his gender#nezukos bamboo necklace is chewlery btw hehe#I hope I was able to capture the expression of like#just genuine tender yearning#it’s something he’s always had the longing for but never quite understood where it came from#or even what it was#just a very empty hole in his body that he could only ever describe as self hatred and disgust even if he knew that wasn’t quite right#I think when they’re older nezuko would rlly help him like#get comfortable w the idea of actually exploring his identity#he’s spent so much of his life just truly and bitterly hating himself to the core#he couldn’t stomach the idea of thinking about who he was beyond the surface level#I think nezuko would make him feel so much more okay with himself and help try to get him to a point of at the very least knowing who he is#it’s a very long road that zenitsu really honestly isn’t sure if he’s comfortable with#but he can’t help but at least try#if not for himself but for the ache of the child inside himself who has so desperately longed for comfort and love and belonging#he wants to know that child who was so brutally outcasted could eventually find a home#he wants to believe there’s hope for himself#Zenko chan I love you so much#she is so important 2 me…..#sorry transed your zenitsu. no yeah we can’t undo it. yeah he’s a she now. sorry nothin I can do.
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mothiepixie · 8 months ago
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Hi Mothie, Uh sorry to bother you. I really love your art, it's such an inspiration. I want to get better at drawing the skeletons (and even try my own self inserts) but I often find myself struggling so was wondering if you had any tips? Like how did you practice drawing them at first? Sorry if you've had this question a million times, I couldn't find anything on your blog.
Also your colour placement, shading and BG's in all your comics are incredible! Thank you for sharing your amazing art with us <3
Hey there, thanks so much!
I never really answered anything like it, because what I'm going to say is going to be annoying
but PRACTICE.
I am so serious, you have to take these characters (be it skeletons or your own creations) and become so obsessed with them that you draw them over and over.
You will not see your growth and it will be frustrating. I feel people get trapped at seeing the finished product in their mind rather than focus on the steps to get there.
My art was definitely a rough start. I didn't know how I wanted to draw them and I just kept drawing them. I eliminated elements that didn't work or appeal to me over time and then did what would be easier for my wrist.
Examples
2022 vs 2023 Red looked SUPER ROUGH.
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And Swap! 2022 vs 2024!
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It took me a few years to draw them even close to how I wanted and I'm still figuring things out.
If you're looking for a distinct style, then you have to play with your style. And you have to embrace inconsistency.
But if you want to get better at drawing more realistic skeletons, I highly reccomend using Sketchfab and look up skeleton anatomy. (You can look up about just anything there and get it in 3d for all sorts of angles)
I also say definitely just practice gesture drawing and figure drawing. You can apply this tools to your OCs. And if you want to get better at expression then I recommend studying Tracy J. Bulter's expression tutorial. I still stand by this tutorial today.
I hope this helped some 🙇‍♂️
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fucking-relax · 2 years ago
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anger is a pain. treat it like the injury it is:
you feel angry (you feel pain)
stop, take a moment to gather yourself and breathe deeply (stop, take a moment to apply first aid to your wound)
find the root cause of your anger; what brought your anger about and how come? (find what caused your injury; what hurt you, what type of wound?)
what can you do to regain control? try not to fuel the anger with violence; mitigate by being gentle to yourself and others (what can you do to keep you safe from further and future injury? what further treatment do you need? try not to aggravate your wound; be gentle and cautious)
accept you've done all you can, continue to breathe deeply, and find comfort away from anger and violence (accept you have done all you can and continue to take care of yourself)
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xxplastic-cubexx · 1 day ago
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Charles representation enjoyed here again! I’ve not read much of the comics bc I can’t afford them but I just rewatched FC and I was wondering if Charles being paralyzed is the same in the comics (Erik doing it)? Do they often include that part of his story?
hello my inquisitive friend :] !!!! im more than happy to give some more info bout the origins charles' disability in the comics- to the best of my abilities that is !
while they don't include an origin for his paralysis in EVERY story/run, as far as i know there are three major ways charles loses his mobility (though like yourself, i havent read many of the comics so far, so i could be missing a few. this is the part where i invite readers to submit additional info if im leaving any out)
the very first manner of charles losing his legs was relayed to us in the original X-Men run of the 60's in issue #20
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(X-Men #20: "I, Lucifer!")
before magneto was regarded as charles' main adversary there was the extraterrestrial lucifer (who sported the same color scheme, ironically. it wasnt as though lucifer came before magneto so it was definitely A Choice..) who charles would have a semi-reoccurring feud with for a bit early on in the series. during their first encounter, charles would corner lucifer in his lair only to have a stone slab dropped on him, disabling his legs indefinitely
the second manner in which charles loses his mobility- and the time where erik is the most involved and is most deliberate- comes from. Our Favorite Universe in 2001: The Ultimate Universe
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(Ultimate X-Men #1: "The Tomorrow People")
as is typically how charles x magneto team-up arcs go, while charles and erik worked together for some time it wasn't very long before erik wanted to pursue more Dramatic Measures for mutantkind. and As This Story Goes, amidst trying to escape the savage lands sanctuary he and erik built, erik drove a metal spike through charles' spine, leading to his disability in this verse
lastly, we have the House of M- or more specifically its prequel miniseries, Civil War: House of M- verse in 2008:
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(Civil War: House of M #2: "Revolution")
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(Civil War: House of M #3: "Reign")
similar to Ultimate and the movies, this is another timeline where charles and erik team up. this time however, charles is more willing to follow erik's ideas after seeing the horrors of genosha upon reading the mind of a mutant who escaped the island, and the two seek to liberate the other mutants left behind. unfortunately, during their mission, a sentinel collapses the building charles and co. are infiltrating, leading to the loss of his legs
hope you had fun reading- i had fun typing up everything and looking back at these issues :] !
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marclef · 2 months ago
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(warning, incoming Walls of Text up ahead! you have been warned!!)
today's lesson starts us off many months prior, in a tower built by a crazed, pizza-headed freak with a love for the "mad scientist" sort of thing. and so, let's ask ourselves the same question he did: "what are the perfect ingredients for making a clone of Peppino Spaghetti?"
well, for starters, you're gonna need some of that Peppino DNA, that's essential! some old, thrown-out pizza from the dumpsters behind his pizzeria couldn't hurt either, helps make a gooey and strong body for the new creation! (plus, who knows how much Peppino is on that thing... can't hurt to add it!)
but, there's something missing, gotta be a bit more to add to this thing to help keep it stable. well, what did they use in that one movie with all the cool dinosaurs and parks and stuff?
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jackpot!!! an unlabeled container of Frog DNA (that DEFINITELY was not carelessly swiped from a nearby research facility 👀) this'll do perfectly, and surely there's no way that the type of frog this DNA is from will have unfathomably-large consequences in the future! .... right?
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.... oh dear.
but... let's go forward a good couple years or so! the Pizza Tower's been crumbled to dust for months now, things are going well. in that time Fake Peppino, Peppino's noticeably-froggy clone has "moved in" with Peppino (aka, Peppino couldn't get him to leave and gave up trying), and Noise/Noisette have gotten children of their own! Poppy and Mustard, two little babies that Noisette allows Fake Peppino to babysit often! he does a good job, he knows to be careful with them since they're his friend's tiny creations after all!
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(reusing an old drawing, ah well, ignore how big Eyhm is here 👁👁💧)
Fake Peppino is good at caring for the two babies, as well as Eyhm, who he treats similarly and knows to protect. it's like something in his mind is wired that way, to protect and care for things much smaller than him... (besides rats. rats are delicious.)
it's strange though.... caring for the young ones like that, it makes Fake Peppino feel very different, as if he was always MEANT to be a caring parent like that. maybe, in his mind, he's gotten the feeling that, maybe having little babies to care for wouldn't be so bad...
until one day... he starts feeling strange. much hungrier than usual, it gets to the point that Peppino has to kick Fake Peppino out after eating nearly every edible thing within the pizzeria. but once he wanders over to Noisette's Cafe and eats his fill, he's alright, and finds his way back to Peppino's to pass out all full.
the next few days, though, he's not hungry at all. sure, after the first day he'd be full for a while, but even after that there's no more urge to eat. he's confused, and Peppino even more so. and yet, even though he's not eating, he still feels full regardless...
one night, Fake Peppino struggles to fall asleep, feeling uncomfortable, like his stomach is turning. and then, in the middle of the night, the strangest thing... little croak-like sounds, and a lurching feeling...
and, hearing a commotion outside, Peppino wakes up and goes out, only to see:
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The Fakelings 🐸
5 little wads of frog-like goop, all croaking and squeaking away. if only Pizzahead had watched the entire dinosaur movie... he'd known that adding Frog DNA to his clone was a bad idea! so now here we are: a Fake Peppino that, simply by wishing for children, has gotten his body to unintentionally made them. but, let's take a look at these little things.
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small, barely bigger than a football. they look like miniature little Fakes, with stubby little limbs and no back legs yet, just a simple black tail. they've got no teeth yet either, just a tiny mouth with a big tongue. the instant Fake sees them though, he falls in love; it's like instinct awakens, and his mind instantly shifts to caring for them as best he can.
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now... that Frog DNA is kicking in full force though... and Fake has very interesting ways of keeping them safe, at least the first few days of life. the babies cannot move well on their own, and so Fake Peppino tends to carry them around, in a matter similar to his Froggy origins. when they're tired, or simply want to be comfy, he will carefully swallow them and keep them in his stomach, which is non-functioning and "safe" for the next couple weeks. Peppino and the others think it's weird... but Fake couldn't be happier, and he only wants to keep his babies safe.
that parental instinct hits him very strong though.... very strong. so much so, he might end up seeing those that he's already caring about similarly to one of his own...
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(... oh dear..... well, at least she'll be safe.)
the babies grow fast though, just as Fake Peppino did. it's only a matter of time until they've gotten bigger, and formed into a much more "solid" body!
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at over 1 week of age, they've doubled in size, already much bigger than Eyhm... who has become an honorary big sister, regardless whether she wants to be 👀💧 but they are gentle, and care about Eyhm very much, just as their father does! their limbs are more pronounced now, and they have true hind legs! they're noticeably frog-shaped... a side effect of Fake's DNA, they are growing up to be more "froggy" in appearance than he is!
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they've grown up being fed by Fake, but at this age, they will start scavenging around the pizzeria for food of their own. unfortunately for Peppino, what qualifies as "food" tends to vary wildly... many things around the pizzeria will be snatched up, from scraps on the floor to non-edibles like plates and cutlery. at least Fake Peppino will try to stop them if he catches them eating something they can't properly absorb.
after this point, they will grow even quicker than before, and slowly become more independent. they'll spend less time resting with Fake Peppino, which is probably a good thing.... they're getting a bit too large for that.
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poor Fake. but it's nicer to comfort them and relax with hugs and the sort, anyways.
but with their rapid growth, and a much quicker aging than standard humans, they will grow up very quickly!
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at one month, and they're starting to look much more like tiny little Fakes! they can stand on their hind legs now, though they still crawl much more often. and most importantly, their mouths have grown little teeth, not as strong as Fake Peppino's are, but still very capable of a powerful bite! but with that, a whole new world is opened up to them... now that they can chew, and they have a strong urge to bite anything they see fit!
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nothing in the pizzeria is safe. legs, faces, tables, chairs, everything is going to be chomped on to test its strength. usually after a test bite, they'll have determined whether or not what they've bitten is for eating. tables and chairs are not tasty, but legs taste interesting and usually result in a funny scream. Fake Peppino does scold them if they go to far though, and will generally not allow them to hurt anybody (unless your name is Theodore.) though biting and chewing things is fun play, Real Peppinos and Big Sisters are not for eating!!
so... where do they go from here? the Fakeling babies will continue to grow, and after a few months, are independent enough to go out on their own. a story for another time.... but don't worry, that time won't be long! but for now, it's time to rest, and let Fake Peppino have a nice long nap for the hard work he's done.
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until next time! 😉
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lunarharp · 3 months ago
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uhh another modern au agott follow-up. They've gotten progressively sillier
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filmnoirsbian · 9 months ago
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lotus-pear · 2 months ago
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shuake or skk?
me personally it’s shuake, they just seem so much more tragic i’m afraid
i must agree unfortunately, skk has zero angst and therefore cannot be qualified as doomed yaoi
skk is about unyielding trust despite the tragedy that surrounds their initial meeting and slowly learning to accept each other's humanity in the bleakest points of their life. it's about knowing the inner-workings of someone's heart so well that you are the same soul in a different body. it sows the seeds of hope that tells the other "you're not alone because my fate is intertwined with yours. if we fall, we fall together."
shuake on the other hand is a morbid fascination for someone who is your narrative foil, who contradicts you in every way, eventually leading to a desperate obsession for what you cannot have that manifests itself into blind abhorrence as you seek to kill this person before they can make you fall further. it's saying "i'm consumed by flames and i don't need your pity water. let me burn."
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canisalbus · 9 months ago
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Currently suffering an ear infection and all I can think is how you said Vasco is prone to them. Does he get miserable and exhausted from the pain or is he more the type to get short tempered and cranky?
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cdroloisms · 2 months ago
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read your post about how the atmosphere in dreblr feels a little tense nowadays. honestly when i first joined this fandom i was excited to share takes/meta but i dont do it much anymore cause of how intense ppl get when they disagree… wasnt prepared for that level of intensity
i have to say that my experience with this fandom and your experience with this fandom are ... probably pretty different 😅 (not that i know for sure, of course, so sorry abt any inherent assumptions to when you joined the fandom, i've just been here for damn near forever) and that that'll color my perspective on this, so. fair warning in advance.
to be honest, disagreement in dreblr is not a new thing. when dreblr was created there were two main "camps" of c!dream apologism that disagreed on pretty much everything to do with c!dream after novermber 16th and would write essays debunking each other's takes pretty goddamn often. here's an old post by red responding to a lot of opinions on both sides of the line which i think illustrates this well -- note the difference established between "c!dream apologists" and "c!dream enthusiasts," perhaps better known now as the "trauma interpretation" and "strategist interpretation" of c!dream back before the confirmation of staged finale during the prison break, which shows how different people's opinions of c!dream ranged at dreblr's very conception. and this disagreement ran pretty damn deep, too, lmao--some of it was reserved to debating each other in semiprivate discord servers, but plenty of it was made of vagueing each other's takes or directly debating them on each other's blogs.
i think that a source of friction, to be honest, is that dreblr started as a much more analysis- and meta-focused community than it is now. the entire dsmp fandom was very analysis-heavy in 2021-2022, and dreblr definitely reflected that culture; since the dsmp ended, the amount of active discussion about it in a meta sense has also waned, and as such dreblr and many other areas of dsmp fandom have been more focused on other kinds of fanwork. this isn't a bad thing, of course! but it has led to a shift in etiquette, and while i think meta etiquette and fanwork etiquette are very. very different things, obviously the amount of fanwork and the amount of meta that's around in dreblr spaces influences how people interact with all parts of dreblr etc etc that's just how people and communities work
but back to my point. disagreement has always been a part of this fandom, especially in meta spaces (which used to be pretty much all of dreblr, but has kind of become more of a small part of it in more recent times) and intensity with those disagreements also is kind of ... on par for the course? i mean, personally, i think disagreements ran more intense in dreblr in 2021 on average--it's not like dreblr has been as sharply divided with different "versions" of c!dream apologism since--and when it comes to the general fandom, well, any look at the inbox of anyone posting c!dream positive analysis and the formation of dreblr as a whole speak for themselves. also IFUADA and the whole attempt to like, lmanburg us out of our own house. which was hilarious btw that shit was awesome
like, at the end of the day, meta is made to be a place where people are gonna disagree. and a lot of people in meta spaces find it fun to disagree, even; there are more than a few people who will devil's advocate an argument they don't even agree with just for the sake of disagreement and debate. fandom analysis is just ... like, fandom academia lite, and it's also far less beholden to the rules of professionalism in real academia (not that real academia is free of conflict, obviously. including extremely petty conflict, as anyone who has read enough passive-aggressive as shit academic papers will tell you). this isn't to say that things don't go too far, because again, the history of this fandom proves it LOL. but while we all want people to feel comfortable in meta spaces, we also want meta spaces to be a place for people to be passionate about their opinions and to disagree about them fervently and to debate to their heart's content, bc that's kind of the point of fandom meta, yk?
in my post, i mentioned that i think more open disagreement will be good for dreblr, and i do stand by this point; i think that there's no real point in trying to stamp out disagreement in a space meant to be a free place for people to disagree and express their disagreements, not that that's what you're saying or anything just as a general thought. i also think that more disagreement will help with there feeling like there's less of a "correct" way to think about c!dream and the server, which i think raises the barrier of entry for people who want to post meta but don't want to be eviscerated bc they said something "wrong." of course, i can't force anyone to post meta nor do i want to--hell, i want to post more meta but am limited in time, and i know we all live busy lives 😭 (which is part of why this ask is being answered so late, sorry!) -- my point is i dont think, idk, one person being passionate abt a take or disagreement or whatever is necessarily the problem as far as upping the tension in dreblr as much as like. there's a lot of general discomfort and a lack of willingness to rock the boat in a place which should be a safe waters for everyone to take shots at any ship (er, ship to follow up with the rock-the-boat metaphor, but the secondary meaning does apply here as well) they want. we're shooting with water guns, not real bullets, and there's no fun in a splash fight if everyone's too scared of getting someone else wet, i guess.
that being said, anon, i understand that not everyone wants to participate in the free-for-all take pvp that is inherent to meta spaces...to which i say that, honestly, there's no requirement to participate in analysis spaces specifically to just, share your thoughts on the server. i think that in general, if anyone posts their thoughts on the dsmp and adds a disclaimer to the top like "not really analysis, just miscellaneous thoughts that i would prefer not to be vagued/argued against," i really just don't think that most people are gonna go out of their way to argue with that? you have every right to just yap while opting out of the possibility of being vagued or debated with, but you might have to make it clear beforehand bc vagueposting and debating is just the culture that exists in meta/analysis spaces, especially dsmp meta/analysis spaces that have been a part of dreblr since dreblr was made. and if there's anything else that can be done to make everyone feel more comfortable, i think that's worth discussing!
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