#THAT IS ON PURPOSE

[whipbogard]

@ DC, for your consideration please: Lincoln March with an unfastened bow tie AND/OR in a robe 🥲

@two-baes showed me the panel of Tommy in a robe and I’m immediately like “oooh yet another matching Harvey and Tommy 👀”

Please DC, I just want my mens to be matchy matchy when they’re crying over being jilted by Bruce 🥲

[starryeyedgazer]

(An excerpt from a fic I hope to one day write + art to go with it)

As the god of poetry and prophecy, I know perhaps better than anyone that words have meaning. Athena may know what more words mean, perhaps, but there is a difference between words having meaning and the meaning of words.

The issue here wasn't the word in any sort of metaphorical sense, unfortunately for me, but in the literal sense, rather the impact that it had when spoken. It wasn't an offensive word, nor a word that may have a double meaning, the word itself is simple.

My father had been lecturing me. Never would he yell, that would look poorly upon him were someone to walk in on him shouting (although truthfully, I wouldn't be surprised if someone walked in on him yelling they would turn and walk right back out, not wanting to be on the wrong end of the lightning bolt).

Since returning from my trials, our fights, or rather, my mistakes, seemed to become more and more frequent, to the point that I had begun to largely tune most of it out, letting my thoughts take me elsewhere. Perhaps to a fond memory, or a new song to write.

I do not know what he was telling me off for this time. It really doesn't matter, I suppose. As he had finished speaking, he turned to walk away. My fist clenched, and before I could stop myself, I found that I was speaking, a simple two letter word that was certainly a death wish.

"No."

[acowardinmordor]

There are a lot of fics where Steve and Eddie lose touch and Eddie has a horrid fiancee that keeps them apart, and I love them, but I decided to let Eddie have a healthy and supportive partner for once.

-----

Five years after they graduated -- barely graduated, and it wouldn’t have happened at all if it weren’t for their long standing bet. Four years after they last spoke -- social media likes and inane comments didn’t count. Four years and a day since they woke up together -- too young and stupid to have anything close to a mature conversation about the night before.

Four years and a day of wondering how to fix it. 

Sixteen years after they met -- fighting in the playground because… they didn’t remember why they fought, only that the mandatory sessions with the school counselor were how they became friends and then best friends. 

On the first of December, after all of those years, Steve scrolled through Instagram, and found out that Eddie was engaged. He knew Eddie was dating someone. A tiny, perky, endlessly smiling girl he met after moving to Los Angeles, who was so far from the kind of guy Eddie was when Steve still knew him that it didn’t seem possible they could get along, let alone date. Let alone get engaged. 

But there was a picture, and a ring -- a slim silver dragon wrapped to hold an emerald between a wing and the face -- looked exactly like something Eddie would choose. Oh, not a dragon, a wyvern. Steve heard that lecture enough times that the difference was permanent in his head. 

Steve liked the post, added the same basic comment he had put under a dozen other high school contacts engagement photos in recent years, and closed out the app before he went to work. 

*

Nothing would have come of it if Robin wasn’t officially coming out to her parents now that she was moving in with her girlfriend, and going back to Hawkins from Seattle with Kara, and; therefore; if she hadn’t demanded that Steve be there for moral support. He went. Of course he went. He moved to Seattle because Robin asked him to come with; going to Hawkins for two weeks during the winter break was nothing on that scale. 

Absolutely nothing would have shifted the awkward, empty silence between Steve and his once best friend if he hadn’t retreated to a coffee shop, banished by Robin so he would stop helping her dad with chores around the house. 

Steve would never, ever have made waves or raised his voice or thrown a fit, or done absolutely anything to interfere with the life Eddie was living. The things he thought about when he got a little drunk, or saw a picture from back then, or something reminded him of Eddie -- those were his problem to deal with. Not Eddie’s.

He was happy. He was engaged. 

It didn’t matter that Steve hadn’t had a relationship longer than two weeks since high school. It wasn’t important that the only friend he really saw was Robin since all the kids he used to babysit were still in college, and scattered around the country. There were a few coworkers at the middle school he chatted with sometimes, but nothing more. The fact that there were a couple creased and worn pictures from highschool tucked around his life had nothing to do with why his friends were moving onward and upward, and Steve was still waiting for something he couldn’t define. 

He wouldn’t have done anything. That was the point. 

But Eddie and Chrissy rushed into the shop out of the flurry of snow, and Steve was sitting right there. Eddie didn’t say a word. Chrissy recognized Steve immediately.

Left to their own devices, Steve and Eddie would have maintained the status quo. Maybe a manly nod. Toasting with coffee cups as one of them left -- it would be Steve who ran first. 

Chrissy -- bubbly, happy, pulling off a fuzzy hat and brushing snow off her scarf -- had other plans. 

She gave Eddie her order, dragged an extra chair to the tiny table where Steve was sitting against the wall, announced that she’d heard all of Eddie’s stories about him, and started talking. And talking. She knew it was a wyvern, and she explained in a hushed whisper why the custom high fidelity percussive earplugs she got Eddie for Christmas were going to be perfect for him at concerts and practice. 

By the time Eddie joined them with a small tray and a smaller smile, Chrissy had Steve wrapped into conversation. She pulled details out of Steve to fill in the stories that Eddie had shared over the years. 

She teased them both relentlessly for the time they dared each other to climb higher and higher in the forest behind Steve’s house, resulting in a sprained wrist and a fractured shin. 

And, through something that Steve was sure was witchcraft, got Steve and Eddie talking. Bantering. She poked and prodded, innocent on the surface, until they had to join forces to push back on her attacks. 

Four hours later, when the cafe staff finally demanded that they leave, half an hour after closing, Chrissy had Steve’s number in her phone, they had followed each other on every possible social, and Steve -- yeah, she didn’t look like the kind of partner he expected for Eddie, but he understood why they were together. 

Chrissy was undeniably, unstoppably, inescapably great. She made Eddie happy.

She gave Steve a big hug, then rolled her eyes and gave obnoxiously clear instructions on how to hug someone until they both gave in. It was -- she’d cracked the silence between them already, but the hug she insisted on swept the rest of it away. 

*

Steve tried very, very hard, on the flight to Seattle, to convince himself that he would be okay with the distance returning. That he would be okay with not talking to Eddie again. 

He landed, took his phone off airplane mode, and found an entire saga of photos, videos and commentary from Chrissy as Eddie tried and spectacularly failed to get their Christmas tree down the stairs to the street. It was only after Steve responded with half a story from middle school and several cackling gifs, that he noticed it was a group chat with Eddie. 

*

It was amazing. It was horrible. It was constant. 

The first day back after break, Steve forgot to silence his phone before classes -- normally not a problem, only Robin texted him, and she was at work too -- and his phone buzzed itself off the table as Steve pretended it wasn’t happening. His third period class was never going to let it go. 

Twelve years of friendship, then a four year gap, and Steve suddenly had his best friend back. First was the group chat. Then a private thread with Chrissy as she sent him backstories and explanations for Eddie’s references. 

Then, a private chat with Eddie -- started when he sent retaliatory photos of Chrissy right after waking up because she sent photos of Eddie covered in glitter. 

It wasn’t instant. It didn’t fill the hole left in Steve’s chest after so many years of silence, but it built a bridge. 

It was like archaeology. He and Eddie, their friendship, was this buried thing, forgotten and hidden beneath the soil while they went on with their lives. As time passed, more and more of his idle daydreams had been dropped, then layered into the dirt, then covered and forgotten. The further you dug, the more vulnerable the fragment you found. 

And Chrissy was a determined excavator. 

There were a few nights where Steve lied and claimed he’d lost his phone, because the conversation brought up something that ached, and he couldn’t stay in the conversation. During one, after Chrissy asked why they’d lost contact with each other, Steve left his phone in the classroom, and walked around the school until the sun set. After a few hours of both Steve and Eddie’s silence, Chrissy sent a link to a tiktok compilation of animal fails, and pretended it wasn’t excruciatingly weird. 

He thought sometimes she was doing it on purpose. That she was rooting through their pasts and trying to hurt Steve with it. Vengeance or possessiveness. But it just wasn’t. 

In their private chat, she started sending him video clips of Eddie getting an alert from Steve. Pointing out how bright he smiled, how fast he answered, how he was, no questions asked, happier now that Steve was back in his life. 

When Steve asked them if they’d started looking at venues, or dates, or even a general time for the wedding, Eddie answered. Chrissy didn’t. 

Right before Steve’s spring break, Eddie clocked his head on the edge of a cabinet, gave himself a concussion, and couldn’t text. They spent most of the week on the phone. Steve had grading to do, and Eddie filled the silence better than putting on netflix. 

After that, it never went back. They still texted, but he and Eddie were on the phone at least three times a week for hours. Sometimes it was shared time as they cooked. Sometimes it was arguing about a new show or movie. Sometimes it was Eddie tormenting Steve with invented names and terminology for sports just to make him laugh. 

*

In early M ay, a month before a planned trip down to California to meet up with them in Napa Valley for a wine tour, Steve got asked out by a clean cut, stunning man at the gym. Steve turned him down kindly, then offered to spot his squats. 

That night, Steve realized why he had no interest in dating. 

The next day he let Eddie know he was busy, and couldn’t do their usual tuesday call. 

*

He spent that month carefully extricating himself from that bubble they’d made. They were engaged. They were going to spend their lives together. Eddie was happy. Chrissy was so nice that if she didn’t keep up with both of them on teasing insults, Steve would have had a freakout long ago. 

Eddie asked if he was okay. Chrissy asked if he still wanted to do Napa. 

Steve told them both it was just temporary. End of the year, and the first time he was the sole teacher. Lots of pressure. Projects to grade. Forms to file. All of it was true, but it came together as a lie he sold them. 

*

Napa was gorgeous. Sunny and bright and California had been lucky with rain that year, so there was no haze of forest fires in the air. Their rooms were near, but not next to each other. They did hikes and wine tastings and went to a massively overpriced restaurant in their nice clothes -- and then went to find ice cream after, starving after nine courses, the largest of which was two bites. 

The last day there, sunbaked and giggly after the tour group had included two of the most flamboyantly pretentious couples Steve had ever seen, they warned the waiter they’d be there for a long time, promised a large tip, and settled in to talk about where they might go next. 

Eddie was lobbying against anything that involved so much nature and hiking. There were castle tours in Europe and haunted house tours, and abandoned town tours in the States. Steve, wanting to watch another wounded monologue, insisted they should do Sequoia or Yellowstone next. 

Eventually, Eddie turned to Chrissy for backup and she smiled too gently. 

“Why did the two of you stop talking for so long?”

Both of them stammered through garbage answers as her smiled deepened. 

“Neither of you are subtle, you know? Both of you love to talk, and you love to tell stories about back then. It’s been pretty obvious this whole time that something happened, and ever since you sent that photo of you at Pride with Robin, I’ve known. I was just waiting for one of you to say it. But, it seems like a waste not to do this when we can all talk in person.”

Eddie tried to talk while Steve paled. 

Chrissy laughed and grabbed one hand from each of them. 

“Breathe, darling. Both of you. You aren’t in trouble. I’m not mad. I am done waiting for the two of you to figure it out on your own. Eddie, I’m running out of ways to stall you putting down deposits. You loved each other. That’s why you fell apart. You loved each other and you didn’t know how to say it, and silence was easier than being vulnerable about it. You still love each other. Don’t -- I’ve had a front row seat for the last six months. You love each other. I know that. But I don’t know what you want that to mean.”

She slid the ring off her finger and set it in the center of the table. 

“I am not giving this back, and I’m not breaking things off, Eddie-bear, but I know how much you love your symbolism. I’m just taking it off for now, and I’m going to leave it with you. Steve, you make Eddie happy. And I’ve been chatting with Robin. Eddie, you make Steve happy. You need to talk about this, and figure out what you want that love to mean. Friends can love -- Friends should love each other. If that’s what you want, okay. If it’s not just friendship, okay. But I’m not going to be the bitchy fiance getting in the way of whatever it is that the two of you have going on.”

Chrissy smooshed her fingers over Eddie’s mouth to stop him speaking.

“You need to talk to him, not to me, lover boy. I love you, and I am very confident that you love me. Loving you means that I want you to be happy. You’ve been happier in the last six months than I’ve ever seen you. I want to marry you. But not if you’d be happier with someone else.”

Steve tried to interrupt and she smooshed a hand over his mouth too.

“Stop that. Neither of you are allowed to leave this table until you talk it out. I can’t hold your hands through it. You’re not teenagers anymore. You know what you need to talk about. I’ll have the waiter bring you more coffee.”

*

They got chased out of the restaurant two hours later, and ended up sitting on a patio well into the night. The conversation ran in circles as both of them tried to apologize and take the blame, and both danced around outright admitting that Chrissy was right. 

Slowly, they managed to outline enough of the truth that they understood each other. Nothing dramatic, no hollywood-perfect kiss under the moonlight. 

They didn’t make a decision that night. 

Or the next morning. 

Steve got back on the train after a long, too-tight hug between the three of them, and they drove back to Los Angeles, with an engagement ring hanging from a necklace beneath Chrissy’s shirt. 

They continued to text and call and chat. Steve and Eddie didn’t talk about in any big way, but when they found something they thought was forgotten, hiding in the soil, they didn’t keep it secret. When they tried to leave it be, Chrissy showed up with a metaphoric shovel, and made them keep at it.

Steve didn’t want to break what they had. He didn’t want to be the one to say it and put any kind of demand on Eddie’s plate. She wasn’t wrong, and every time they uncovered some new piece, Steve had to tamp down the urge to ask. 

The three of them planned a trip to Sequoia for right before fall classes started. 

*

The last night there, sitting around a fire on the deck around the hotel, Chrissy rolled her eyes at them both. 

“If I say it first, do you think you can at least admit that it’s true?”

Her laugh was as bright as it ever was when they both spluttered. Slipping the chain from her neck, she closed the clasp and held it out, across the gap between the chairs towards Steve. 

“Probably too early for you to wear that, but it’s not mine anymore and all three of us know that. It won’t fit you as it is. It might not ever fit you. Maybe you need a different ring. Maybe you need a dragon not a wyvern. Sapphire not emerald. Maybe you two don’t want rings at all. I don’t know. But I think you two need to stop dancing around this. Eddie, if you do end up giving him a ring, I have first dibs on being your Best Man. I will fight Gareth if I have to.”

She kissed him on the cheek, then stood to get to Steve. Stealing his keycard from the table, she kissed his forehead. 

“Rent in LA is disgusting, so I’ll try to keep him out of his head for the next few months until the lease ends. Keep making him happy. Keep letting him make you happy. And keep in mind that I have blackmail material on you both if you try to run away from the chance to keep that kind of happiness.”

*

It wasn’t the kind of nuanced and mature conversation a counselor or a therapist might have wanted, but when they woke up in the morning, they smiled, and neither ran away. There was nothing certain between them, no ring, no promise, no guarantee. Their tentative efforts to admit how deep this ran were far from over. 

The idea of letting Eddie see how much Steve needed him still made him shake. The idea that Eddie might see it and choose to leave made him want to run. 

He spent four years wondering how to fix what they broke. 

He didn’t have the answer, but he’d found enough pieces of what they lost -- found them and cherished them and longed for more. He and Eddie didn’t have any manual for how to fix it, but they knew what once was, they knew where to dig, and they knew better than to let silence bury it again

*

[nondescriptrock]

Is this allowed? Maybe, but either way, prebby angel boy

[magnificentposting-fabrizioart]

Is there any relationship you 100 percent ship in the show? Or are they all toxic failures?

Good question.

Ibrahim/Hatice COULD have been that.

On paper, they were, tho at the very start it did feel like they flipped a switch inside Ibrahim because the guy spent the beginning of the show looking REALLY gay for Süleyman.

Considering the first two women he courted were his sisters, not escaping the allegations.

Right now I'd say "not yet". On paper, Matrakçi/Viktoria COULD work and I've even said that Leo/Viktoria would unironically make sense given their situation (alliance of convenience to unexpected development).

And of course y'all know I would have supported a couple of queer Nigar ships if the universe allowed for them.

That said, the show actually manages to make Hürrem/Süleyman work and be cute (not in small part because the show characters look 10+ years older than what they historically were and age is never mentioned) bc it makes you forget about the context with relative ease if you are vulnerable to all the trappings (and I can be).

[captaindibbzy]

When you want to research and infodump on a topic on your blog but you've got a viral poll with [checks] 25,000 notes and a not insignificant portion of them want to pick a fight with you.

Maybe I'll write my thoughts out the old fashioned way, by hand, in a journal. Don't get any positive feed back, but also I don't have to put up with the kind of people who scroll through other people's blogs looking for things to screen shot to support their straw man argument.

[sarcasticdolphin]

Mozart Drabbles Aesthetic

[sp1resong]

being self aware suuuucks like yeah this thought pattern/behavior is stupid and pointless and a symptom. i know this. [does it anyways

[hellishqueer]

we ask that the defense not say "me when i lie" while the witness testifies

[heywriters]

btw the majority of your life will be lived as a adult. yeah i don't make the rules. go have fun in your 40s or 70s or whatever. no one expects you to accomplish everything at 17 or 27. you've got time and in the meantime get some life experience, it will pay off

[butchfalin]

the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again

[elbiotipo]

Usamericans should be more anti-war actually. They should be straight up insulting marines and shutting down weapon factories, 60s anti-war protests kind of shit. I'm sorry for pontificating from down here but the US military-industrial complex is currently supplying a genocide, and this is not a new thing, the US has sold weapons to Saudi Arabia to starve millions of Yemenis, the Iraq war, the Afghanistan war, these are within memory. And though some people think it's not the point, it Is also true that there are trillions upon trillions of dollars that could be spent in anything else that go to the black hole of corruption (and call it for what it is, corruption) that is the Pentagon. Any of those resources could be destined to literally any other activity and be better spent.

I'm talking full contempt here. You should outright be HATING the military. Instead of lining up to watch Top Gun you should see it as a glorification of a fucking killing machine that serves imperial interests, enriches megacorporations and supports genocides. For the love of God be more angry about it. Goddamn.

[draconicshinx]

I am BEGGING younger drivers. drive carefully. give yourself room. for fuck's sake use your turn signals and don't fucking weave thru traffic. this is not a video game, this is real life and if you get into an accident, you could get killed or kill someone else VERY easily

[jerich0two]

A begrudging Happy Valentine's to you all! Stay safe out there, my fellow aromantics ...

[max1461]

Disgust has absolutely no ethical weight. If you are basing your ethical positions on the emotion of disgust you should stop, it is entirely unjustified and leads to a huge amount of harm.