#THANKS TUMBLR UR A REAL PAL

[ashleyloob]

Hi!

From someone who is disorganized and discouraged, I would love advice on weight-lifting/building muscle. Would you share your understanding of building muscle and the breakdown of diet?

If possible, could you share how you apply what you know to yourself? If you use any tools to help you?

Struggled with working out, gaining weight, and eating my whole life. Thanks!

prefacing this with some important info for fellow disorganized scatterbrains!!!!

the main reason why ppl have trouble sticking to a lifestyle change is because they try to make very drastic changes too quick, and you get overwhelmed and it becomes unsustainable. this is especially an issue for neurodivergent folks, and since it's Tumblr I assume a good chunk of y'all are (me too dw)

DON'T immediately overhaul ur diet and hit the gym 5x a week from day 1!!! hitting tiny goals consistently is also more rewarding than working towards one very large arbitrary goal that you might not reach, esp when it comes to working out. start veeery small if u need to, such as only 10 bodyweight squats per day like i did and go from there. you wanna program ur brain into feeling accomplished to keep you motivated. patience is key!!!!

ok!! now onto the more detailed info below

Disclaimer: I'm still a newbie myself!! only consistently lifting heavy for about 3 months as of this post. I did a good deal of excessive info diving on lifting using the power of Sheer Autism, and my main gym buddy is very experienced & taught me a good chunk of this shit so shout-out to my pal for making all this possible xoxo

so good news!! "building muscle" is very easy for beginners starting from zero. newbie gainz are absolutely real. at this stage you can do just about anything at the gym and get stronger bc u can only go up. BUT!! if you structure it, you can make the process enjoyable and much more efficient. if you're goal oriented (lookin at u ADHD menaces), you'll love the concept progressive overload.

PROGRESSIVE OVERLOAD & SETS/REPS

wikipedia defines progressive overload as: a method of strength training and hypertrophy training that advocates for the gradual increase of the stress placed upon the musculoskeletal and nervous system. in layman's terms, it just means gradually adding more weight as you work out to increase the difficulty as you get stronger. progress is VERY easy to track because of this, and you'll be hitting PRs pretty much every week for the first couple of months and that shit feels fantastic because you physically feel yourself getting stronger so rapidly. I use the app Strong to track my workouts. so, how do we structure progressive overload? that's through sets/reps. A rep is a single execution of an exercise. 1 squat is one rep. 2 squat is 2 reps. and so on. A set is a collection of reps. The format is Sets x Reps, for example: 3x5 means 3 sets of 5 reps. You will rest between sets, and it's typically anywhere from 1 minute all the way up to 5 minutes depending on the level of exertion/type of training you are doing. Heavier weights mean longer rest periods and vice versa.

WHERE DO I EVEN START??

For those interested in barbell training: the r/fitness beginner routine is pretty good! I also recommend 5x5 stronglifts. both are very straightforward, but also note the typical olympic barbell is 45lbs. If this is a weight you struggle with, you can begin with bodyweight exercises, dumbbells, or machines at the gym which are all very BEGINNER beginner friendly. especially when it comes to legs you're probably much stronger than you think. Most people can squat 45lbs first try. don't be afraid -- you're standing on those things all day, they can support hella weight. Like I mentioned earlier, don't be afraid to start veeeery small and work your way up from there. I started at home with doing only bodyweight squats without the barbell, then added on benching with light 7lb dumbbells after a week, then impulse signed up for a gym membership a month later and began to go there to use equipment and now i'm deadlifting over 100lbs as a tiny girl that previously was too weak to even lift a 40lb dog. it snowballs quicker than you think once you gain confidence in your own body and its abilities!

WOAH I DON'T KNOW HOW TO SQUAT/DEADLIFT/BENCH/THIS IS SCARY AND IM FUCKING UP

If you can, i highly recommend getting a personal trainer to assist you, or tag along with a gymrat pal to show you the ropes. This page is also a good resource to learn specific lifts. otherwise, youtube is your best friend. you can record your sets and compare your form to form tutorials on youtube, and actively take notes on what to change the next time you work out. Be an active learner!!! be aware of what muscles are engaged when you lift and how your body feels. almost NOBODY gets it right the first time, esp with barbells. we've all made fools out of ourselves at the gym as beginners it's chill. i find people at the gym are very nice and willing to help you out if you're struggling, and people don't judge at all-- it's very easy to get in your own head in these spaces but most humans there are supportive and want you to succeed, especially since it's a hobby they are also passionate about. the more you do it, the less anxious you get. exposure therapy is very effective!! Also, almost all the barbell exercises can be replaced with smaller dumbbells, and you can do them at home if you get your own set + a workout bench (pretty cheap if u get secondhand, check facebook marketplace/craigslist). i got mad social anxiety myself so i understand sometimes you just can't, and this is an option for those that find public spaces overwhelming.

DIET

I personally don't think specialized diets/precise macro tracking is super duper important for newbies/casuals, only moderately important (spicy take for some but whatever). but you probably naturally will take an interest in diet once you realize it'll help you perform significantly better in the gym. the only macro i track is protein. You can use a TDEE (total daily energy expenditure) calculator to roughly estimate the amount of protein you need for maximum gainz. it's usually around .7-1g of protein for every pound of lean body mass (weight that isn't fat mass). Imma be real it's pretty hard for me to hit the recommended protein goal and most days I don't because my appetite just can't kick in for the amount it demands, and protein is super filling. I found that if i decreased the amount of carbs i eat, i am able to consume more protein bc i guess there's more room in my stomach lol. i eat a fuck ton of greek yogurt, chicken, fish, and tofu. when i started working out, i begin cooking a lot more and found i naturally craved less processed junk foods and snacks because the protein was keeping me full all day which is a plus! Even when im not regularly hitting my protein goal my gym progress is still going well and I think it's simply because my diet is A LOT better than what it used to be in my gremlin days. I also eat a lot more now that i've gained a bit of muscle, so do be prepared for food costs to go up as your metabolism increases and demands more energy to upkeep your gainz.

HOW LONG DOES IT TAKE FOR ME TO LOOK LIKE A MUSCLE MOMMY????

a whileeee. over a year, probably, unless if you're on anabolic steroids (dont ever do that u will quite literally die). and physique is mostly from diet since it's dependent on your body fat percentage, the saying "abs are made in the kitchen" is true. its why you see hyper skinny terminally indoors gamer dudes with abs, even if they'd snap in half if you farted in their general direction. those mfs barely eat they too busy being gamers i am no longer interested in lifting for aesthetics personally since i get more joy from hitting PRs and i'm pretty content with my body image, but ik physique is the reason why most people get into lifting so i'll touch on it. Weightlifting on its own will not make you lose weight or fat. Again, it needs to be supplemented with a healthy sustainable diet (DO NOT DO CRASH DIETS THAT SHIT IS GARBAGE) and a form of cardio. I actually gained 8lbs since I began lifting from water retention & new muscle mass (muscle is more dense than fat, your body retains water when repairing muscle after a gym sesh) but my measurements and pants size have remained the same. I'm short, so something as small as a 5lb increase usually bumped me up a pants size but it didn't this time bc im gettin swole :') if you want to track physique changes, measuring your waistline & progress pics is a better way to do so than the scale. If you want bigger muscles, look into hypertrophy training. it's a tad different from strength training, mainly because you do higher reps at a lower weight.

[adhdnatsu]

anatomy? consistent art style??? dont know her

shippers dont touch

[kkshowtunes]

Hey folks! I wrote a short story and wanted to share it with y’all! Hope you enjoy

Summary: When Ella finds out her principal is homophobic, she can’t just sand by.

Story under the cut

 “Ella Delta, report to the principal’s office,” the loudspeaker crackled. I rolled my eyes as the class oohed and side-eyed me. I stretched, got out of my chair, and made my way over to the principal’s office. I dragged my feet across the linoleum halls to our surly and impatient principal’s lair. I was far more nervous than I led my peers to believe. My hands were shaking and my shoulders felt warm and tense. I shrugged off my nervousness, and gritted my teeth as I reminded myself that any multitude of things could happen in the principal's office at 9:28 in the morning. Still, the knot in my stomach persisted.

When I arrived inside, I was met by the principal who was leaning forward in her glossy wooden chair. Mrs. Wolfe was a tall and thin woman with curly blond hair cut into a bob. She had sunken gray eyes and defined cheekbones, giving her a skeletal appearance. She stared at me for a second, examining my face with her angry gray eyes. 

“Ms. Delta, we need to talk,” she said in her usual condescending voice. My nose scrunched up as I smelled the scent of strong perfume in her office.

“What is it, Mrs. Wolfe?” I asked with a smile. I tried to ignore the anxious thumping in my chest as I took a seat at Mrs. Wolfe’s mahogany desk with all of her stationery meticulously placed. Mrs. Wolfe was not the kind of person to call people into her office for no reason.

“Your pin,” she said, as she pointed one boney finger at the pride pin I wore on my blue denim jacket. I kicked my legs lightly to dissipate some of my nervous energy. I tried to reassure myself that nothing would happen. I told myself I would be in and out in a second. But all the kids called her Big Bad Wolfe for a reason.

“Take it off,” she said, her expression changing to one of deep seriosity. 

“Why?” I asked with more hubris than a greek god who just cheated on his wife. Mrs. Wolfe pushed her oval glasses up her thin and crooked nose bridge and sighed.

“Here at Western Pine School, we don’t support those kinds of… Beliefs,” She spat out the last word as if it was poison. I sat rigid in my seat, shocked at the words that I had just heard my principal use. I cocked my head and my shoulders tensed as I continued to listen.

“While we do not support these kinds of sins in our facility, we all hope you get better,” The words rolled off of Mrs. Wolfe’s tongue like small daggers, each hitting me in the face as I became painfully aware of what she was talking about. I stared at my palms in dumbfounded disbelief. I bounced my leg and bit at the side of my lip. I took a deep breath and opened my mouth to say something, but decided better of it and just left my jaw hanging lightly. 

“If you take it off, I can leave you with a warning, but if I see it again, there will be more… serious consequences,” she growled with a stern face. I hesitated for a moment, and the room was totally silent except for the sound of Mrs. Wolfe rapping her long fingers against the wooden desk.

I wanted to revolt. 

I wanted to say No. 

I wanted to say something, anything at all. Instead, I removed the rainbow pin from the rough denim of my jacket and stuffed it into the side pocket of my pants. 

  “Am I free to go?” I asked shakily. I winced at my sentence. I sounded like I was asking an angry police officer. Mrs. Wolfe narrowed her eyes and examined me once more.

“You are free to go,” she said with her mouth smiling, but not her eyes. I nodded weakly, wiped my sweaty hands on my pants and hoisted myself out of the chair.

By the time I was out of Mrs. Wolfe’s office, it was lunchtime. The original shock had worn off and I was filled with rage. I wiped the stressed tears from my eyes as I headed to my lunch table. Waiting for me were my two best friends, Sam and Lexi. 

Sam was a small boy with big sad eyes and hair that was impossibly poofy. He was shy to people he didn’t know, but he was super outgoing with the rest of the group. 

Lexi was a rebellious girl with dirty blonde hair with electric red streaks. Lexi’s personality was as fiery as the streaks in her hair and injustice was her worst enemy. Together, we were the outcasts of the school’s social scheme. We weren’t popular, we weren’t picked on, and everyone else just seemed to pretend we didn’t exist.

“Els! Over here!” Sam shouted, smiling wide to reveal a mouth full of braces. His smile dropped to a look of concern when he noticed my face. 

“What happened in there? You look like hell,” He stated matter of factly. 

I took a deep breath before spilling everything that had happened.

“I know it’s not that big of a deal-” I started after I finished explaining the situation.

“Not that big of a deal?! Sweetheart, this is a problem!” Lexi said with an angry-protective snarl spread across her rounded jaw. 

“Same thing happened to me, actually,” said Sam shyly.

“It did?! Why didn’t you tell us?” exclaimed Lexi. She took an exasperated breath as she continued. “Okay I know you guys might think this is okay, but we gotta do something!”

“What? You really think we, the weird loner kids, could do something?” asked Sam with a laugh.

“Yep,” said Lexi with a wide smile, a hint of rage still tinting her tone, “The real question is what we’re gonna do about it.”

“Uh, we could, leave school?” mentioned Sam, his eyes narrowing slightly. I was surprised he was even humoring Lexi’s dreams of justice. 

“Like… a walkout?” Lexi framed it as a question but didn’t give us time to answer before jumping into the next idea. “Oh! We could walk out and host a parade! And… maybe we could invite kids from schools all around the city! Sam! Els! This is gonna be big!” 

My skeptical smirk turned into a grin of joy as I listened to Lexi think out loud. 

Maybe we really could make a difference I thought to myself Even if it’s small, it’s still a difference.

“One problem, Lex,��� Sam started, breaking me out of my internal monologue, “How are we supposed to get the word out without Big Bad noticing?” 

Lexi looked at him and tilted her head slightly. She raised one eyebrow at him as if she was surprised that he wouldn’t know the answer. Her eyes quickly softened though, as she began to speak. “Social media, duh,” she said. I was still confused. I had a couple of socials, but I was rarely active and I was far from popular.

“Wolfie isn’t online at all. She says it’s ‘ruining the minds of youths’ and ‘imprinting poor ideas into our impressionable minds’, ” Lexi chuckled as she made quote marks in the air with her hands as she quoted Wolfe’s outdated conspiracies. Lexi had a point. Ms. Wolfe did have a vendetta against all technology, yet she begrudgingly allowed computers. Lexi was relatively famous online. Sure, she was famous on Tumblr, a site everyone thought died back in 2013, but fame is fame I guess.

“I… think this might work out,” Sam exclaimed with a hint of hesitation in his voice. His eyebrows unfurrowed from their worried position to a more relaxed form. I myself was getting hyped, too.

“It’s Thursday now…” Lexi stated as if it was some great discovery, “I think we can get our act together by next Wednesday.”

We’re actually doing this? I asked myself. I twirled the pin back and forth in my pocket, considering my options. I stalled for just a moment before mustering up all the courage I could and pushing away the uncomfortable feeling in my stomach. 

“Sounds like a plan!”

I shoved aside my calculus homework and checked my phone. Lexi had texted me.

Lexi: Hey

Me: Hey

I never knew how to respond to texts. I usually just sent over single words and emojis, hoping to get my point across in as little words as possible. Lexi on the other hand was a technological genius, and didn’t share in my painful lack of charisma.

Lexi: Drafting the post now :)

I took an excited little gasp as I read the text. Each second that passed made this whole thing feel real. I bounced slightly in my chair as I typed back.

Me: aaaaaa make sure u send it to me when ur done!

I bounced my leg and fidgeted, the excitement bouncing off of me like an aura. A big childish grin spread across my face as I awaited a reply. Out of my peripheral vision, I spotted the pride pin. I had taken it out of my pocket when I rolled over on my bed and it stabbed me in the thigh, drawing a small bead of blood. I grabbed it and rolled it across my knuckles like a coin. I stared fixated at my screen, the blue light shining into my brown eyes. Homework can wait, I was waiting for Lexi and her internet magic.

Lexi: Here it is

My heart started beating quicker as the three dots appeared meaning she was typing. I clenched the pin as tight as possible and took a breath as the message appeared.

Lexi: Hi guys, gals, and non-binary pals of the West Pine area! Help stick it to me and my friend El’s homophobic excuse of a principal. She made two of my friends stop showing who they are and forced her homophobic ideas onto them. All you have to do is show up at Western Pine school at 9:00 AM this Wednesday (I know it’s early, sorry). I will post updates and you can show your support at #Take-Down-Big-Bad-Wolfe! 

#lgbtqia+ #help

I never understood how Lexi could talk and people would listen. Whenever I said anything I felt like I was screaming into the void, but maybe that’s how everyone feels. I don’t know what I would do in life if it wasn’t for Lexi and Sam. Lexi and Sam were the ones who listened when everyone else couldn’t understand.

 I shot Lexi back a quick and sincere thank you text and closed my computer with a wavering breath. I absent-mindedly scribbled down the answers to the last couple of calculus questions while thinking about the walkout. I evened out the pages of homework and shoved them haphazardly into my binder. Then, I flopped down on my bed and shut my eyes tight. I tried to sleep but the thoughts and questions kept flooding my mind in the place of dreams. My eyes and limbs screamed at me to sleep but I just couldn’t silence the stream of thoughts.

After fifteen minutes of trying in vain to sleep, I dragged myself back to my desk. My fingers were itching to write down all my thoughts. I grabbed a couple of sheets of loose-leaf and a number two pencil from the supply cubby near my desk. I took another heaving breath before titling the page

Questions

After the title was written, my hands started to work. My brain’s overfilling thoughts translating into graphite sticks and swirls on a page. I decided to write the questions I needed the answers to. How to do things, what to do, the repercussions, and every other query I had swimming about my brain. 

What are the logistics?

I thought about the question for a good two minutes before realizing the answer was right before my eyes. We didn’t need to overthink it. We didn’t need permission to rebel. 

What will I do to make it special?

The golden question that had been bugging me all night. The whole thing, while powerful, felt oddly depersonalized. Sam was the brains, Lexi was the mouth, but who was I? The meek victim? The useless third wheel? I shook the uncomfortable thoughts out of my head before mulling over the options. Then I had an idea. I loved to write, and I loved what was right. The answer seemed obvious. My eyes lit up like fiery sparklers as I got out a new sheet of paper. I moved my pencil hurriedly across the top of the page. All the gray scratches and streaks turning into two words.

My Speech

I began to write and the words came easily. I wrote out my thoughts. All the abstract wisps of ideas firing through my neurons into tangible lead-colored shapes on a page. By the time I finished writing, my wrists were numb and weak and my eyelids were drooping with the threat of sleep. I looked over at the clock and- crap. The little red numbers on my digital clock read 3:08. I anxiously ran my fingers through the front of my hair before falling onto my mattress. It was mere seconds before I was asleep.

Despite only getting about four and a half hours of sleep, I woke up feeling more alive than I ever had before. I bounced out of my bed and slid over to my dresser to pick out some clothes. After some light deliberation, I decided to wear a Dear Evan Hansen shirt, blue jeans, and a soft pink hoodie. I cuffed my jeans quickly before heading out of my room, eating a bite of toast, and brushing my teeth. Before heading out the door, I noticed the pin, still on my desk. I wavered for a second before shoving it into my pockets in silent rebellion.

As I walked into school I saw Lexi leaning against her locker. Lexi had a cinnamon stick hanging from her mouth that looked like an old brown cigar. It flopped over as she gave me a wide grin and a wave.

“Els! Over here!” she called with a smirk. She propped her cinnamon stick back in her mouth before continuing. “Look,” she said vaguely, raising an eyebrow while shoving her phone into my hands. I let out a gasp as I scrolled down the #Take-Down-Big-Bad-Wolfe tag. There were people from all over, showing us their support. Lexi glanced at me and I shook my head in approval. The bell rang so we headed off in our respective directions.

As Mr. Thorne blabbered on about history and the past, my mind was fixed on the future. I rubbed the smooth end of the forbidden pin in my pocket. I went away to my little world in my brain, re-writing and adding to my speech. I felt the looming anxiety related to public speaking. Sure, I wrote the speech, but for some reason saying it out loud was petrifying for some reason.

  “Ms. Delta, are you there?” I was burst out of my daydreams by the sound of my history teacher’s deep nasally voice.

“Hm?” I asked, my eyes darting around the room at the inquisitive stares of my peers. 

“Maybe you should try staying in the present from now on,” said Mr. Thorne with his fingers pressed against his temple and forehead.

“Says the history teacher,” I retorted with a slight smirk. My eyes widened as I realized that I didn’t just say that in my head. The class burst into laughter and Mr. Thorne’s face became a shade of angry pink.

“I- uh- Ms- Ell- you- no-'' Mr. Thorne stuttered, his breathing choppy. I just crossed my fingers and, for the first time in my life, didn’t fear the consequences. I also felt like everyone in class heard me. I suddenly felt better about speaking in front of all those people.

It was finally the day. The day I had been waiting for all week. The day of the walkout. I bit at my cuticles nervously throughout first period. By the time the clock struck 8:55, I felt as if I could jump out of my skin with excited nervousness. I was trying to subdue the anxious bouncing of my leg. Then the intrusive thoughts started to flood in.

No one will come. I shook my head. They would come. Why wouldn’t they? We spread the word to the trustworthy kids at school and got a trending post on social media. Why wouldn’t people show up?

You're wasting your time. You’ll look like a fool. You’ll just embarrass yourself. Imagine you, standing out there alone, pathetic. The words spinning through my head like venom.

Pathetic. Worthless. Stupid. Dumb-

I looked over and the clock struck nine. I stayed in my chair for a second before seeing a majority of the kids in my class standing up. My eyes welled with tears of joy as we all headed out the door, to the chagrin of the teachers. We headed to the curb and I felt the greatest sense of pride seeing Lexi and Sam pulling their respective pride flags out of their pockets. The black, white, purple, and gray of Sam’s ace flag. The purple, pink, orange, and white of Lexi’s lesbian flag. I led the crowd, heading to the parking lot as a herd of angry and confused teachers lumbered after us. My heart gave an agitated flutter as I noticed kids from other schools piling in.

I gave Lexi a hurried thank you again when the news trucks came. I tried to make my way through the crowd of angry teenagers and colorful flags when I stop dead in my tracks when the crowd goes quiet. I turn my head and see my principal, red in the face. Her brown pencil-skirt swaying as she stomped over to the podium where I would make my speech. I swallowed hard as I turned to face her. Some of my anxiety eased as I felt Lexi by my side, squeezing my hand.

“Stop this foul behavior at once!” she screeched, “Everyone here is a truly lost soul. I apologize that your young minds have been perverted, but God will forgive you if you change your ways.” 

My eyes welled up with tears. I felt worthless. That is until I heard the most beautiful sound.

“Stay tuned for more Channel 7 news!”

The news vans! My smile widened as I realized my principal’s rant had been televised to the entire city. Mrs. Wolfe seemed to realize that too, as she was beginning to panic.

I walked through the crowd over to the tall and lanky newscaster in a suit. He looked slightly like a red-headed John Mulaney. 

“Mike Drum, Channel 7 news,” he said introducing himself. I noticed his actual speaking voice was much different from his formal reporting voice. He had a light New York accent in real life.  “Amazing turnout today,” He said with a half smile and friendly nod.

I almost melted. A newscaster. Reporting my story. “T-thank you,” I stuttered. He stuck out his hand for a handshake and laughed as I went in for a weird sideways high five.

“No problem, Kiddo. You got a speech to make! Go get ‘em!” he said with a wink, patting me on the back. I cocked my head as I wondered how he knew I would make a speech. Maybe he was magic. Then I realized the entire crowd chanting.

Speech! Speech Speech! I headed towards the podium with a little laugh, enjoying the time before my anxiety kicked in.

I took in a choppy breath as I stood upon the podium. I ran over my short speech in my head as I brushed my fingers across the glossy auburn wood. I shook away every thought of chickening out and threaded the point of my pride pin through the heart-area of my hoodie. I closed my eyes and opened my mouth to speak. My mouth was dry but my mind was ready.

“In an ideal society, life is like a roller coaster,” The crowd quieted and looked over at me. I started to regret every decision I have ever made.  This was a dumb desision...

“We try to enjoy ourselves and try not to go out of our way to make others have a bad trip,” I stammered a little bit but kept my nerves under control.

 “We know it might be scary at times, but we also stick around for the ride,” I spotted Sam in the audience, giving me an encouraging smile. 

“Unfortunately, this is not the ideal society. People will be rude or biased. However, that doesn’t mean we can’t stick up for what’s right,” I smiled a bit when I noticed Lexi giving me two thumbs up. “We can stick up for each other, and for what we feel is right. We can be prideful in who we are. So thank you again for coming, and showing you care for what’s right!”

I skipped off the podium and found Sam and Lexi. Lexi gave me a big bear-hug and Sam was flapping his hands in excitement.

“Oh my god! Els! You did so great!” Sam said between choppy little breaths. 

“Thank you so much-” I started but Sam shushed me as he noticed Newscaster Drum walking straight towards us.

“Heya kid! Nice speech out there! You got real potential,” he said. 

“Oh my god- You’re Mike Drum!” Sam said a look of giddy mortification spread wide across his face.

“Oh my god, I’m Mike Drum!” Mr. Drum replied, eyes jokingly wide. Sam squealed, his hands flapping wildly as he stood a bit too close to Mr. Drum. “Nice to meet ya, buddy,” Mr. Drum said, his usual charismatic grin on his face. Sam started to bombard him with questions and I gave Mr. Drum a look of Okay-thank-you-I’ll-leave-him-with-you.

As I walked through the crowd of righteous teenagers, I felt the pride swell in my chest; Pride and confidence. That’s what got us here above all else. Pride in our abilities, confidence in our rights, and pride and confidence in who we were. I knew there would be consequences for today. Deep down, I knew my actions today would have repercussions I would inevitably have to pay for. I knew I would have to deal with Mrs. Wolfe and her pack of angry PTA cronies. But the voice in my head told me it would be alright. Anyway, I was starting to get used to living in the moment.

[sweetbitterpdf]

could you plsssss recommend some fics, doesn't matter if its elu/sobbe/evak? if not it's fine! but i'm bored and want something good to read :) thank

hey anon!! always worth pointing out that i have a tag for fics posted on tumblr that i love, which can be found here !! it’s largely elu (since that’s mostly what comes across my dash), but there’s some sobbe and evak in there as well.

as far as general recs go, anything by my pals— but i’ll list some specific ones that have been posted recently that have a special place in my heart:

@lepetitepeach— anything by nat OBVIOUSLY but especially ‘ce destin est une marée (et nous sommes emportés)’ (elu) it’s ethereal, it’s magical, i would tattoo the whole thing all over my body this is not a joke i cannot recommend it enough

@tawmlinsun— lauren just posted a second part to ‘if i can recognize real’ (elu) a few days ago and it has not left my mind since holy shit!! the softness the tenderness i cannot sleep it keeps me up at night

@oheliotts— listen…. LISTEN….. i would sell my soul and all of my possessions to be able to write something as incredible as ‘things i forgot to tell you’ (elu)…. EVERY chapter leaves me clutching my chest. you know that ache you get when you read something, like, incredible? joanna gives me that every time

@lumierelovers— anna’s beautiful writing, the classic fake dating trope? a legendary combo, in her work ‘illusion of bliss’ (elu)!! the characterization is just ridiculously good (lucas is SUCH an oblivious dumbass), and i can’t get enough of it. this ain’t ur average fake dating AU— even if it’s not something u usually go for, i can’t recommend it enough.

@lallemanting— sara’s soulmate AU ‘for want of gold’ (elu) is incredible so far!! the slow burn hurts so good!! it’s so beautiful and vulnerable, and it such an interesting take on a super common AU.

@mauuvelesbian— kath!! what a beautiful soul and an incredible writer!! again, i love everything she writes, but her most recent on AO3 ‘come on, love (lets light up the moon)’  (elu) was so lovely!! the concept is so sweet and simple, and she does it so well!!

as for writers i admire from afar— @nofeartina is my go-to for evak, considering she’s a) absolutely incredible, and b) has been writing evak since 2017, and she’s just as active as ever. her AU ‘as i let you in’ was the first thing i read by her i think(?) and i’ve been hooked ever since. love tina!!

another incredible work is ‘burning for your touch’ (evak) by @cuteandtwisted— which upon finding it on AO3 i realize has been finished since i read it last! i guess i know what i’m doing tomorrow!!! this one is genuinely… probably one of my favourite things i’ve ever read, not just fic. the concept, coupled with the execution of it… words can’t describe what i feel for it!

these fics are all great jumping off points but i would wholeheartedly recommend anything these lovely people write/have written— and anything in the tag i linked!!

[viewmasterfeeling]

100 followers?!?!

Omg what??? Tysm!!!! I love you all!!

Shoutouts to the tumblr gang and all of my other lovely mutuals!! Ily!! <3

Thanks for putting up with my nonsense and reading my fics, short posts, reblogs, and Byler theories/hot takes! It means a lot to me, for real

I’m just gonna tag some people who have been amazing (in no particular order)

@eraseyourbookofstories My fic writing pal!!! Ilysm Queenie you don’t even knowwww (well you do because i spam it in the discord). You have AMAZING, ADORABLE fics and an AMAZING, AMAZING personality! (so amazing it deserves 2 “amazing”s) I love talking and working on cotn!! Also spam me any time!!! (maybe not with the oc asks,,, but just in messages :P)

@willbyersneedstherapy I think you were my first friend on here!! And that means so much to me!! Ilysm, and all of your Byler hot takes at 3AM are amazing and correct. The Duffers told me themselves

@im-not-a-joke You’re really awesome and have excellent vibes and memes. Also the headcanon game is top notch. I really appreciate you being there for me and just being awesome in general :DDD ily!!

@byler-obsessed You’re so amazing, and your fics are so cuteee. WE NEED TO COLLAB MORE cuz that was amazing :)))) Thanks for being a great friend, you���re awesome!!

@kalvinpostsweirdness Ok so I think when I first got tumblr, i saw some of your posts in the byler tag and i was like damn??? this human has some epic meta?? anyway, I love you so much, your vibes are immaculate, and you’re so kind and considerate to everyone. Keep being epic, ily

@shut-up-murphy I haven’t talked to you for very long but you’re super nice and have amazing vibes!! Can’t wait to get to know you more!

@strangerthanstranfest I can’t wait to get to know you more as well!! Your name in the discord server is amazing btw

@willswheelsonthebus You’re super nice and have great fics! We should collab (for real) some time!! <3

🌹 anon!!! You’re so nice to me and i love talking to you!!! So glad to be your friend!! ily!

Purple anon!! I haven’t talked to you in a while but you’re really awesome!!

@ all of my mutuals!! tysm!!! (special shoutouts: @madcaprainbow, @alteritymonster, @kaobaab, @chrrysodas @willbyersthings, ur all amazing!)

Anywho I’m gonna take ficlet prompt requests... I’ll make an official post in a moment. But yeah! Tysm! And not to get emotional but it means a lot to me :D

K byeeee

[figuringouthowtobehere]

please dont reblog this

i dont have many ppl to talk to. so here i am, screaming into the void that is my tumblr again.

im mostly posting this because im alone. im really really fucking alone. and im hoping i might, idfk, make a solid, trustable connection from tumblr??? idfk. im alone in the world.

please dont reblog this

cw family issues, su*cidality, abandonment, abuse, childhood abuse, trauma, being alone in the world

i have no one to go to. my entire life since i was a baby all ive ever been able to do is survive at the skin of my teeth. and here i am, 20, breathing, trying so fucking hard to live and, idk if im succeeding. im doing my film shit which is cool but. im alone. im on my own. im alone in the world. i never had parents. like, obviously i had parents, but they were never parents, dyou know what i mean? like the people who genetically made me were around but they were abusing me or just being awful or refusing to listen to me about what i needed from them, from their parenthood. 

i had a conversation with my mom yesterday (after two days of not being able to get a hold of her and really really needing to) and i was basically just like ‘why cant you be my mom’ and she was like ‘i am your mom’ and i was like ‘well, yeah, but youre not--you cant--you dont mother me. and you dont mother me in the ways i need you to.’ and she was like ‘what does that look like to you?’ and i said ‘someone who i can turn to, always, someone who has my back no matter what, someone who respects me and what i need and who listens to me and trusts my experience and, yeah, someone who i can turn to always’ and she said ‘i mean i can talk with you on the phone, i can tell you what i think you should do, i can try to give you advice from my experience, but as far as someone having your back 24/7 always, i cant do that’ and we ended up talking about how im an adult now - and she was talking about it in the sense of ‘youre a grown man now, you dont need your mom like that anymore’ - and im like ‘ya, i am basically a grown man but i still need my mom. i still need parents.’ and i think im gonna end up cutting contact with her again because its too hard to simultaneously grieve her not being the mom i need and also talk to her. if im not talking to her then i can deal with the idea that i dont have a mother, that i dont have parents and i probably never will.

ive never really had people. i never really had friends when i was a child and i dont really have friends now. maybe its cause im trans, maybe its cause im autistic, maybe its cause im mixed, i dont know, but generally people in the world dont like me or it takes them a long time to not hate me. it doesnt matter why right now the point is i never had people (like, a support system) and i dont now. 

so yeah im pretty seriously thinking about killing myself (or, trying to anyway). i dont wanna die but ive spent my whole life trying to just. be a person. and find contentment. and everything in my life ends up going awful or causing me a lot of trouble at some point or another. ive come to expect it. whenever anything happens in my life im just like ‘when will this go wrong. how long will it take this time.’ and im alone. im just fucking on my own. and i know theres lots of people who are and have been more alone than i am/have been and i admire these people so fucking much like GO YOU!! YOUFUCKING DID IT!!! HELL YEAH! im so proud of u. for real, i have so much respect for all yall reading this who have made it through shit and made it through being alone in the world. you fucking got this. youre doing it. good fucking job!!!!! ✨ but then. idk ig it doesnt take away from this being incredibly fucking difficult for me. pretty much everything in my life was fucked from birth to age 18 and now over half of everything in my life is fucked. which is better, for sure, but its still. ive never had a chance. idk it just seems to me like it doesnt matter. i can try and try and do all the therapies and take all the psych meds a psychiatrist might give me and i can meditate all the time. it just seems like im Doomed. (WOW i sound dumb and childish) like ik logically this is probably incorrect, that im not actually just.. doomed but thats how it feels. whenever a good thing happens im just waiting for it to collapse on me. and usually it does in way or another. generally not because of anything ive done or havent done, it just ends up being shit.

and then. ive never had anyone. i dont have anyone. im alone in the world. like its not that im ignoring people i do have or choosing to omit them from my mind right now. i have a singular friend in the place where i live; my other two friends both live in the states. i live with someone who was a support for me until like last ... july or so, i think, who now makes me feel like shit (they arent being malicious its just a bunch of issues in our relationship. theres more on that in stuff ive posted before, if you feel like digging through my posts for a while go ahead and youll find more on that) and i have like 5% (out of 100%) trust for them. i have a therapist who i see once a week and ik shes invested in me, but thats her job. and i cant just call her whenever i want. i have several people for film stuff but theyre either just casual pals and then colleagues or just colleagues. i know a lot of people, who dont really show any investment in me as a person or their relationship with me and who i dont really click well with. and thats it. 

and im so. im so in love with Film. all of it. (not The Film Industry obviously.) im so fucking in love with it. the only real concrete reason that i wont end up killing myself in the next like month or two is because Film. and i just. need. people. i need parents. or something. fuck.

i think part of this is probably the long-term ramifications of ongoing childhood sexual, physical, and psychological abuse and never really having good, consistent support cause id be surprised if that didnt fuck with my brain (and, yk, untreated severe childhood brain damage from tbis beginning at less than a year old). but it doesnt really matter does it. ive been through the shit time and again and its not like anyone has appeared and been like ‘hello, i see you never had parents, this is who i am, would you like to get to know each other for a while and maybe i could be your mom?’ cause thats literally what i need. i need parents. like i know theres a thing of ‘if you didnt have parents then you cant undo that damage’ but like idk. if someone has a bunch of unhealed broken bones that got broken years ago that are now causing them a lot of pain you wouldnt just be like ‘sorry, i see youre in trouble from this shit, but because it happened years ago theres nothing we can do’ cause there is??? i forget how i was gonna say this before but like. i didnt have parents. with the ‘parents’ i had its a scientific anomaly i lived past age three. i refuse to believe that having Good Parents and a Good Support System now would do nothing for me. cause it would. 

im also facing impending homelessness due to a) welfare/disability programs not giving you enough to live off and b) not having a roommate/not having support systems/not having people. so that doesnt help.

i dont know how to do this. im on my own. im doing all i can. ive reached out to everyone i feel like i could reach out to and. im on my own.

help. i guess. idk what that means but im, once again, at an incredibly fucking AWFUL point in my life and i need help. i doubt anyone will be able to but. if youre able to then. idk. do something. ik that i sound desperate and pitiful and i literally dont care at all because i literally am desperate for support and i literally am at - ANOTHER - extremely low point in my life and its pitiful. im cringing at myself actually posting this because its like ‘you think youre actually find what you need via a tumblr post? where are you? cause thats not real life dude’ but i dont fucking have people to talk to (as you have already understood 🙃) and im tired and tired and tired and tired.

if you took the time to read this i thank you and i hope ur day is going vvv well

please dont reblog this!!

[hey-erika]

hmmm I LOVE it when my art doesn’t show up in the tags. thanks [tumblr] really appreciate it ur a real pal

[musicdork]

ooooo here lemme send the clip the tik tok was referencing!! that itself is damn hilarious— https://youtu.be/mjC-KpbeOSQ

also honestly for a split second i’m like shit we ARE mutuals...right? so now i double check every time i send a message/read ur replies AAAAAAAAA LOL. and yo i hate to be such a dorky dork but honestly i want to go to the roman collesium just so i can aesthetically jojo pose at the top and take pics. like b r u h . tbh tho italy is very beautiful and warm and stoney on the ground. i bet youd b able to use some of ur italian if u go!! 🤠 have u ever traveled outside of the country?(assuming ur in the US right now lolz) if so where!!

so random but i jus saw that chocolate ice cream thread and like.......dont mean 2 butt in....no offense to op but chocolate ice cream is bomb as HELLLLLLL. like for real. its the best flavor. no exceptions. none

i see u ask for specification on what i plaaayyy::i am a pianist, percussionist, and singer-in-the-shower-ist🤪🤪 my major is a performance major(aka learning to professionally audition/prepare for chamber groups and orchestras as a career) w/ an emphasis on percussion. its v hard but if i ever make it to carnegie hall or something i will personally send u a vip ticket i promise<3

(also i’m barely passing this one class too LOL but YOU CAN DO IT u got school in the bag!!!! i believe in u!!! )

DONT B INTIMIDATED y u intimidated???? bc i can hit a cow skin cylinder to elicit noise from it?!?!?!! bc i play chopsticks with my two pointer fingers on the ivories??!?!!! half the time i play meme tunes to warm myself up on piano. u could pour soup in my lap and ill probably apologize to u. silly goose.

oh and what kind of plans are u setting out to do!! if u dont mind me asking😗✌🏼✌🏼 aint nothin wrong with a sleep day u gotta get ur rest. tho i do hope u can accomplish ur tasks soon :) did u eat anything yummy tonite??

ok ok k i hope u have a nice night u night owl. im boutta pass out tbh. —ur little sneaky stealthy pogchamp of an anon👾 (thx for that kakyoin vid btw :) made me blush tbqh) i hope u saw the lil josuke reblogs..maybe u did find me? altho i myself am not sure if u did or not..all in good time my pal. :)

OH I SAW THAT!! i think this is the first episode,,, he forgot to wash his h a n d s

bro if ur gonna jojo pose there pls take me with u hehe. i take good pictures i swear >:^ also ye I'm in the US i kinda assumed u were too??? djsns since you're only an hour behind! i have never,, been out of the States but boy do i want to!! im hoping to travel abroad my junior year!! or for a semester :) !! i just,, wanna travel,,, hhh

ALSO I LOVE U !!! THANK U!!! ty doesn't like it for some reason it makes me sad. but to each their own, u know?

how are u,, so damn cool i,, [ stares at hands ] u r so cool i, sobs sjsnsn have u played,,, giorno's theme at all..? while warming up... :0 my brain is too tired to think of other jojo themes hhh it be like that sometimes. but HEHE!! i get,, the Cool Guy access,,, fuck yeah 😤

what are my plans... wtf are my plans Uhm. my plans after school?? no fuckin clue but i have a feeling i just wanna Help ppl. plans for the day? im gonna play animal crossing for the first time in a while with my best bud. it's been Months since i last played oml 😭😭 i need to clean my island!! get rid of them weeds,, >:( idk how my villagers are tho,,, i hope they're okay lmaoo. but other than that I'll probably just fuck around on tumblr n my other socials :')

i might have,, gotten the josuke rbs,, if they were with other people then yes! you sneaky bastard :')) throwing me Off like that 😤 one was super painterly n it looked so Good!! everyone in the post did and hhhh why are they all pretty in their own right :( my heart can't take it 😞

dinner was good tho,, very yummy,, 10/10 would recommend. did u eat...and drink some sorta liquid? if not i,,, idk what I'll do but I'll do something!! >:(( i hope u have,, sweet dreams <3 dream of kakyoin for me,, and yourself, definitely urself hahah

[quelsentiment]

hi pal!! im sorry it's been a while since you've heard from me - this week got super busy with school & work and i've just been exhausted haha. yay for it being friday now! im bummed that the 2nd message i sent you last time didn't go through but at least i noticed and sent you a summary! how sad would it have been otherwise if you just got the first one sdfsfsdf why is tumblr the worst. I don't have tattoos so honestly im totally unqualified to be writing this au HAHA (1/?)

but i got so excited about the au that i wanted to go for it anyways! and i did watch a lot of tattoo related youtube videos haha. you're spot on about the fic being angsty but im reaching the end now so i'll be writing a lottt of fluff coming up hahaha. i'm so indecisive that im scared of the commitment of getting a tattoo more than the tattoo-getting process itself. but i guess im also sort of a baby when it comes to pain so there's multiple reasons lol! oooh halfway through is GREAT progress on your big bang! thats awesome! you've definitely got this. I have posted some other fics! i had to go check my ao3 to remember haha but ive got 9 works posted :) i've def been around for a while but only really gotten into writing later on. I think i officially joined the fandom in like...2012? wow, that feels like SO long ago now that i'm thinking back on it hahaha. eep! what about you? tbh i think having gotten into fic and writing is one of the main reasons im still around. im a TA too! thats so cool haha! this week is our last week of classes and finals are next week so its been sort of crazy. i taught my last class of the quarter on wed and its so weird to be done. this was my first time ever TAing but i really loved it! how has ur experience TAing been?? im in a phd program in biology/computer science (like sort of combining the two?) so thats what im studying! winter break is coming but i'll still have to work in my research lab, so its not much of a break but i wont have teaching or classes and plus i'll get a real break during christmas & new years! we're locked down again too but our rules for this time's lockdown have been very vague and confusing dsfsdfsd. but officially yes, same here! ive been in the habit of staying in anyways so it hasnt affected me too much hahaha. anyways that was a ton of messages but maybe that helps make up for being gone for a bit too? hope you're doing well & happy friday! any weekend plans? take care! -S xx

hi pal 💕

tumblr is The Worst™ (this time one of your messages came in four times 🤪)

but anyway, it’s nice to hear from you!! and don’t worry if you can’t make it every day, i know it’s a busy time with the end of term and all

oooh angst and fluff, aka the best combo!! it’s gonna be amazing i’m sure! and yeah, i think it’s the same for me, the pain doesn’t scare me that much, but it’s definitely a big commitment, so i don’t know if i’ll ever go through with it... what design(s) do you have in mind?

thanks so much! yeah i feel pretty good about it, i’m writing the majority of it in writing sessions with a friend, and that’s definitely helping with motivation! also i’ll get matched with an artist very soon, and i’m SO excited 😌

oh wow you’re almost an og fan 😳 the things you must have seen jsksjksj but yeah i totally get what you say about writing being the main reason why you’re still here. i only joined at the beginning of the year, but tbh if i hadn’t got into writing and also met a lot of friends here, i don’t know if i’d still be here, or just as a casual fan i guess

oh, what are your all-time favourite fics then? 👀

that’s so cool you’re a ta too, and that’s great you’re liking it so far! i never had to teach, most of what i do is marking and assisting in zoom classes, so it’s pretty laid-back. i’d love to try out teaching though, but it must be nerve-wracking, at least until you get used to it 😅 oh, biology/computer science sounds like a fascinating combo! at what stage of your phd are you? i’m currently finishing up my masters in linguistics. i might do a phd some time in the future, but it also sounds like a crazy amount of work, so idk... plus i have mixed feelings about making a career in academia 😐 did you start your phd right after finishing your previous degree, or did you take a break from studying at some point? oh and a research lab!! i was working at one too until i moved back here, i miss it 😌 idk how yours is, but mine definitely felt like home! it’s still nice you’ll get a break for the holidays though. do you have any plans?

hehe same here, they keep changing the rules about lockdown, but i also tend to stay home anyway, so i can’t say my life has changed that much this year 😬 as long as i’m allowed to take walks outside, i’m good

as for this weekend, my plan is: 1. getting ready for louis’ concert, 2. losing my shit during at louis’ concert, 3. recovering from louis’ concert (with some writing and cleaning and walking in between lmao) what about you? are you gonna be able to attend the concert? 

thanks so much for your messages, it’s really lovely to get to know you 💕 hope you have a good weekend!

[hazzabeeforlou]

Questions

Thank you @raisemybody for the tag this was fun!

Nickname? Toni

Real name? ***** :)

Zodiac sign? Aries sun, Aquarius moon, Pisces rising (I’m a very calm fire sign I promise)

Favorite musicians/groups? I love all our sons, obviously Hazza and Lou, but also FUCKING LOVE Zayn, and I do enjoy Niall if I’m feeling like wallowing. Liam I love dancing to... um, also Fleetwood Mac, Queen, Lizzo, Adam Lambert, Minnie Riperton

Favorite sports team? Green. Bay. Mutherfuckin’. Packers. I’m from there and thus it’s in my blood (and Aaron is gay ur welcome)

Other blogs? Not 1D ones nope

Do I get asks? Sometimes, I suppose I’m not dramatic enough to get more idk if that’s good or bad... I do tend to ignore hate ones though so maybe I’m no fun to harass

How many blogs do I follow? 191

Tumblr crushes? Um... gosh I love all my mutuals sm. I’m gonna say @taintedlav because she’s sweet and lovely and always brightens my day

Lucky number? 7

What am I wearing? Black jeans and shirt, it’s our “dress rehearsal” but they’re filming it so they asked nicely if we could all wear dark colors at least, so of course a quarter of the orchestra did NOT, making my wearing it inconsequential :/

Dream vacation? Ooooo. I’ve always wanted to visit India. Or South America. Or even just Mexico and find the ranch my great grandpa had there!

Dream car? One big enough to fit my h*** that costs not two arms and a leg (I have a mom car now, there’s no going back for me. Sigh.)

Favorite food? Due to health stuff I can’t eat most food I love so. Gonna go with NUTS. I love a pistachio. Love a p.

Drink of choice? I don’t drink a lot, and never know what to get, but I like a margarita once a year or so

Instruments? H*** (is this even a secret anymore idk. Whatevs), piano, flute, violin

Languages? The worst Spanish you’ve ever heard. Three years in high school for nada. Alas

Celebrity crushes? Gina Rodriguez, Lizzo

Random fact? It’s my golden birthday this year!! (Also. YIKES)

I’ll tag @taintedlav @disgruntledkittenface @lesbianiconharrystyles @haztobegood @pattern-pals @alienfuckeronmain @newleafover @a-brighter-yellow @evilovesyou @metal-eye @helloamhere

[jisungism]

hi guys!!!

i’m looking for skz (preferable!!) or multi stan pen pals!

i know this is more of a stan twt typa thing but i miss penpalling so much and i have so much skz content that is love to give away hehehe

criteria! (and i hate to post this and i don’t in any way undermine anyone it’s just i had a few really not great experiences with some of my pen pals so i’d rather just lay it all out on the table here:)

- have a pen pal account already, whether it’s insta, twt or tumblr idm! i j need to know ur out there and i can see that u actually send stuff hehe

(throwback to that one time i sent one my “pen pals” an album and a fat package cus “it was their birthday” and i never got anything back or even a thank you...so i need to know ur real lol)

- stan skz!!! skz r my ults and my only loves and even though i do know many other kpop groups obviously i don’t really stan?? (depends how you use the word stan but i don’t really endorse myself in any of the lives or buy the albums or whatever...j listen to the songs and know the names n stuff)

anyways if u ult skz like me that would be great! however multi stan is okie as like,,,,skz is main focus HEHE maybe i’m being too picky here idk i j love skz

- now for this bit i don’t mind where you live as shipping letters and parcels is like £3 to the usa which is far but a reasonable price ngl but if you care about that sort think i gotta tell ya i live in the UK so if ur okay with the distance (if there is any) then yay!

- pls have good communication w me if u wanna be my pen pal,,,,if u can’t reply to a letter for a bit cus of exams or something it’s okay!! of course cus there’s other things so much more important but please tell me if u can’t get back to me for a bit,,,(again, some bad experiences of being high and dry so to speak) so pls don’t hesitate to message and explain the situation because even if it’s a small thing it’s perfectly okay but i just wanna know so i can like,,,,stop waiting at the post box all day heheh :)

and that’s it!! hoping this doesn’t like...flop lol idk why i’m even doing this i’m like 4 assignments behind and i have exams all of next semester but whatever it’s fun hehehe :)))

[briarbale]

jgdjgdiydd I never get tagged in these things so thanks @19catsncounting

1. What's my favorite feel-good anime?

uhhhhh i've only watched a few jgdjgdjgx and the only one I finished all the way is FMA which is n o t feel-good

2. What's your favorite username for online activities?

MagicShay! Unsurprisingly, it's a wack ass combination of two usernames i used Miraculousshea and It's_Fucking_Magic, so uhhh MagicShay?

3. If you had a dragon, what would you name it?

Faedryn!! if ur gonna have a mythical creature might as well go high fantasy

4. What does your favorite lamp look like?

Well it's currently broken but I have a lamp where the base is a cool frog! and he's holding up the shade lol

5. What's something you're craving right now?

does sleep count? haha idk i keep wanting to make fresh bread but procrastinating it

6. Who is the scariest fictional character to you?

I don't usually get scared but I get INFURIATED by Palpatine if you'll accept rage

7. Why did you join tumblr?

To be uhhh completely honest i'm not 100% sure I remember? I think it was probably cuz a bunch of fanfic writers kept linking their stuff

8. If you could go to any food place - real or fictional - where would you go and what would you order?

I'd go to the Mooyah down the street and buy a shake because at heart i'm a simple pal with simple needs and those needs are shakes

9. What's your dream job?

As a senior I really wish I knew, my career counselor be like oop

10. What's the last song that you listened to?

considering i'm currently listening to a song radio? The Exit - Forgive Durden, and i have no idea what that is, if we're discussing intentional listening? homestuck music because i used the quarantine as an excuse to read all of it

i'm not uhh gonna tag people or write questions cuz that sure do make me anxious

[girlbookwrm]

It’s here! At last!  THE MIGHTY PRE ENDGAME REWATCH CONTINUES, WITH:

AKA IS IT MY BIRTHDAY? YES. YES IT IS.

(or it was at any rate, it took me Some Time to get this all typed up because holy fuck it’s long. looks like i’ve got Some Feelings about The Winter Soldier. WHO KNEW)

ANYWAY, if you’re wondering what the hell this is all about i’ve been rewatching all the marvel movies (and commentating on them) in preparation for Avengers: Endgame and NOW IT IS TIME FOR MY FAVORITE ONE

I got @goteamwin​ and @pegasuschick​ here IT’S A PARTY! WE GOT COOL RANCH DORITOS AND BRAINWASHED SUPERSOLDIERS LET’S DO THIS.

Day 912: i still miss the old marvel logo

LISTEN THIS IS THE BEST OPENING SCENE IN MARVEL HISTORY FIGHT ME.

“~on your left ;)~” honestly? iconic.

God Bless Steven Grant Rogers and his Smedium Shirts.

Steve, known bisexual disaster, is hitting on Sam here. this isn’t even in question, right? Sam’s quip about “making me look good to the girl at the front desk” was a soft rejection and Steve takes it like a champ.

Important to note: the black widow uses emojis in her text messages. 

Also important to note: Sam Wilson hits on the Black Widow because he flies into combat at 100 miles per hour wearing a tee-shirt and dad jeans he fears nothing not even death itself

also also important to note that The Roommate went to see this movie by herself, low key cosplaying as Fem!Cap. she did this in part because I had gone to see it first (i was in the UK at the time, and it came out over there before it came out in the US. ~IRONY~) and as soon as I got back from seeing it (i had low-key cosplayed as fem!Hawkeye. it’s a long story) I emailed her and was like O HAI U SEEN DIS? U WILL LIKE IT. ~and she dii-iiiiiid.~

every time i see this scene now, i hear that bit from the gag real.

cevans: Kill the engines. wait for instructions. *whining and stamping his foot* cuz i’m in chaaaaaaaarge.

Being asked about your dating life and then immediately jumping out of an airplane is a Big Mood

I would like us all to appreciate that steve put a nice matte stealth finish on his patriotic dinner plate, special for this mission. 

Also, we’re all agreed that Steve kills at pool, yeah? Give me Steve being a pool shark at the local watering hole plz n thank.

Steve: *punches a guy through the shield*

The Roommate: but why does he punch that guy through the shield?

Me, having a Terrible Thought: Maybe one time he accidentally punched through a guy’s face and ever since then he uses the shield as, like, a buffer when he wants to take people alive.

The Gal Pal: WOW. YOU WENT THERE.

parkour!

~Hey Sailor ;)~

that one guy working for Batroc really needs to lay off the steroids, or whatever is giving him this Unnecessary Rage. You know the guy I mean.

love how batroc is jchilling and then WHAM! IT IS I! AMERICA!

ON! VA! VOIR!

did he learn this from Dernier? he learned this from Dernier.

The Gal Pal: that is a ridiculously huge flash drive

Me, Just Now: overcompensate much?

Nat’s little eyeroll after Steve says “you’re damn right”

The Roommate: Nat is So Tired of Steve’s Drama™. And now she’s going to have to deal with his cold shoulder the whole flight back, and she’s going to have no one to talk to but Rumlow and uggghhhhhh

Steve comes into Fury's office and Damn. Dat Ass.

The Roommate: They know what they're doing here.

eyyyyyy tony’s in this movie (kinda)

I love that Steve just like, drives around with the shield on his back. 

Enter The Smithsonian.

The Roommate: I! LOVE! THIS! SO! MUUUUUUCH!!!

Me: Gee sure would be nice to be able to go to a smithsonian right now.

*american sobbing intensifies*

The Roommate: what is the timeline here? does he come straight back from the mission into yelling at fury? and then straight here?? Is Steve just like “oop time to go look at my old stuff and Emote”? Is this his routine??

buckyyyyyyyyyyy

listen yall know the extent of my BuckRogers feels but every time they pull out that compass i develop a terrible case of The Steggies.

“It’s just not the same” ha ha kill me.

~So Dramatic ;)~

“Steve?” HA HA HA KILL ME

Fury’s Computer:

At This Juncture The Commentators Would Like It Noted That It Has Been 23 Solid Minutes of Stuff We 1000% L O V E and everyone’s favorite brainwashee has not even appeared yet.

but he’s coming

s o o n

Also, we all hate Alexander Pierce but he is a great villain and also Robert Redford might be an older fella but he can definitely still get it heyooo

Steve is so awkward here. But like, imagine him actually going to one of these VA things, like everyone’s all “ied this, helicopter that” and steve’s just like “so one time in ‘44 i punched my way into a panzer”

The Roommate, Who Is Sometimes More Evil Than Me: ~NOW IS AN EXCELLENT TIME TO REMEMBER THAT RILEY WASN’T IN A PLAAAAAANE~

at this moment, the DC driving types lost their goddamn minds.

“WHAT IS THIS? WHERE IS THIS SUPPOSED TO BE? WHERE, IN WASHINGTION, THE DISTRICT OF GODDAMN COLUMBIA, IS THERE THIS LITTLE TRAFFIC, HUH??”

“You wanna see my lease?” i c o n i c. 

Did you know that SLJ was an actual Black Panther? I did not know this, but as soon as the Gal Pal told me, i was like “oh yeah that checks out.”

meanwhile, the couch based road rage continued all around me.

“This part of DC ~DOES NOT EXIIIIIIIIIIIIST~”

“Traffic alert? on the Roosevelt Bridge? Yeah in other news WATER IS WET.”

“wait is he getting on 66? ARE YOU GETTING ON 66?? WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU???”

“Have you ever even been on 495?????”

HE’S HERE!!!

just like, damn gurl, u make that highway ur catwalk. 

Me: What the hell kind of laser pointer do you have there, Nick?

The Gal Pal & The Roommate: It’s A Lightsaber.

The Roommate: So is this just like? An Average Day In The Life Of Captain Rogers? Get up, go for a run, annoy a veteran, fly to the other side of the world, kick ass, fly home, talk back to a superior officer, drop my priceless shield off at home, go emote at a smithsonian exhibit, have my heart ripped out by my nonagenarian ex, go flirt with annoy a veteran (part two, now with added Feelings™) go home, get rejected by my neighbor, CHASE A FUGITIVE.

JUST ANOTHER DAY! IN THE LIFE OF STEVEN GRANT ROGERS!!

honestly his neighbors must hate him

that’s why Sharon’s his neighbor, everyone else LEFT.

The Biggest Flash Drive

Let’s Not Forget, that because she is undercover as a nurse, Sharon probably just kicked that door down with crocs.

YOU’RE WELCOME

let’s appreciate that the Soldier’s theme music is just SCREAMING and also you should know that every time it comes on, the Gal Pal and I start SCREAMING. not, like, in an “oh we’re excited” way, just, like, the way you sing along to the theme song of your favorite TV show, you know?

PARKOUR!

The Roommate: good job with your eyeliner there, buddy. You Did Your Best.

The Gal Pal: That Is Dupont Circle and Steve is Extremely Gay. 

(yes, we know he’s bi.)

Natasha really should know better than to believe that Nick is dead.

THAT IS THE WORST PLACE TO HIDE THE FLASH DRIVE

The Gal Pal: genuinely, it’s such a bad hiding place it stresses me out.

The Roommate: Yeah, what was he thinking? I mean, was his logic just that no one likes that gross bubblegum?

Me: UM WHAT?

The Gal Pal: EXCUSE YOU THAT IS BUBBLE YUM.

The Roommate: ... yeah but it’s the gross bubblegum flavor?

At this point we lost a few minutes to divide into Pro and Anti Bubblegum Camps and then had to run the movie back because we missed:

~Neighbor ;)~

i c o n i c

The Roommate: Sir. Stop Having That Face. That is Illegal.

(she is having A Difficulty. The Difficulty is cevans’ jawline)

But seriously: What actually happens in this scene? We are all Steve and we all want to punch our way out of this confusing conversation.

God that face/those tits/that ass tho

Young Man. You Stop That.

THE ELEVATOR SCENE. I mean how many movies can say that some of their best scenes happen in an elevator? That alone is a real accomplishment.

They’re all ~soooo casual~ and then there’s rollins, who isn’t even trying. “records.” These WWE wrestlers are not going to records, come on.

at this point we stopped commentating except in inarticulate whoops of delight and shrieks of glee. except for one brief aside

Me: This scene is so sexy, but like, not in a sexy way? Like, the fighting style isn’t that “oooo I’m fighting in a sexy way” it’s just, it’s so...!

The Roommate: Primal?

and I regret to inform you all that yes, she is 100% Correct, it is indeed sexy in a primal way.

“whoa big guy”

i just.

that’s all i got on that

tiny turtle of freedom

we had the subtitles on, and it just says “woman screams” Screams in what? JOY? 

It’s raining men! Hallelujah!

“Stand down, Captain Rogers! Stand! Down!

Captain Rogers: *accelerates*

They’re being made to watch social media so what I want to know is which poor SHIELD guy got stuck monitoring tumblr?

“oh we’re getting all kinds of hits but uhhhhhhhhh they’re not......... pertinent..............”

why doesn’t The Biggest Flash Drive have a cap? it is now full of crumbs. it’s full of crumbs, guys. if it’s going to be that big it should at least be one of those cool slider ones.

“Are you calling for my resignation? do you know who i am? Bitch I Am Robert Redford.”

Apple Store Aaron. “hey guys why’s your flash drive so big??”

“yeeeah. we’re getting married.”

Honeymoon destinations -- where are you going?

Steve: (without thinking, reads the first thing he sees) New Jersey

Steve: *dies a little inside*

Steve: *forgive me bucky for i have sinned*

I love that they’re coming out and Steve is 100% tactical brain and then Nat’s just like “put your arm around me and laugh” and when it works Steve just looks back over his shoulder like:

oh my god it worked???

sPyING is WitCHCraFT?????

“was that your first kiss since 1945?”

“That was not my first kiss since 1945,” said Steven Grant Rogers, Who Is Definitely Lying, and Furthermore, Is Fooling Exactly No One.

Sidenote: Ship and let ship, obviously and always, but I love Steve and Nat as BROS too much to ever see them romantically, The Bromance Is Strong With Them.

it’s been said before, but it’s worth saying again

Steve: kind of hard to find someone with shared life experience.

Bucky, ten minutes later, wearing bondage gear: HELLO IT IS I

SKINNY STEVE!

of course he memorized the army regulations.

Listen. The cell phone trick Bugs Me™ and the only thing that lets me get through it is the idea that they cleverly cut around natasha standing there for 40 minutes trying out every possible permutation of those numbers, with possible duplications.

I like the idea that Computer!Zola has been building this little fanvideo since the mid-seventies and he’s just! so excited! to show it to someone!

Steve punching the screen is another Big Mood.

“even captain america and the black widow can’t survive a missile Directly To The Face” BITCH U THOUGHT

it’s nice that they give bucko a kirk light here

~u want some milk? ;)~

honestly, what the fuck even is that line.

they made Robert Redford say that line.

what does it mean

YOUNG MAN! THAT IS! ILLEGAL!

altho tbh i want a slightly grubby Steve in a tank top to give me a pep talk, like, every day. that would be fine.

The Gal Pal, A Curly Haired Individual: hhhhhhhow did Natasha straighten her hair. This makes me So Angry.

Me: I mean, I like to imagine her with Sam’s Iron and ironing board, just like *mimes frantically ironing hair with a Very Soviet Expression*

Fort Meade is the best scene that isn’t in the movie.

Aw Gary Shandling’s here. Awwwww Gary Shandling...

Sam, are you intimidating this guy or flirting with him?

To Those who remember the Potato/Gremlin Scale, I propose a third option, a kind of venn diagram situation going on, where the third option is Fey Creature. Sam is neither Potato nor gremlin, but he might be a Fey Creature.

God I love this scene.

LOOK AT SAM HERE: No armor, no flightsuit, no fucking knee pads no goddamn helmet just Casual Dad Falcon, Suns Out Guns Out.

Steve: What the fuck’s an SAT.

he’s coming.

*SCREAMING*

he’s here.

is it murder or is he modeling?? “you got this Soldier, make ‘em wait for it... Boom.”

this is the greatest fight scene of all time, honestly. This and then the fight scene in the first RDJ holmes movie are the Only fight scenes i can even remotely stand to watch. Except maybe some of the bending battles in ATLA. but this scene. this is top of the list. it’s just. *kissy chef fingers*

Soldier strolling along not firing his weapon because he has no shot and he is a Child of the Depression who don’t waste no bullets.

only loses his cool when Widow Breaks his stuff.

Sam Wilson: Brings a pocket knife to an automatic rifle fight and wins.

“go, I got this!”

aw yeah you do

THAT STRUT™

Soldier strolling along the street. so bored. could be home watching project runway.

That thing Soldier does with the arm Does Things to me for reasons that I choose not to examine too closely

ANYWAY WE DON’T HAVE TIME TO UNPACK ALL OF THAT.

“who the hell is bucky” wow there Soldier you went from Full Russian to American Accented English awfully quick I Wonder Why

Soldier’s reaction to confusion is to Immediately Shoot and honestly that’s a Big Mood.

We are all agreed that the only reason SHIELD succeeds in taking Steve in is because

look at that face

steve’s not here right now, please leave a message.

More DC Area Rage: “WHERE IS THIS DAM? WHERE??”

natasha y r u surprised that Fury is alive?

oh noooooooooooo it’s time for this scene

OHHHHH NOOOOOOOOOOO

Robert Redford to James Buchanan Barnes: You are a literal treasure.

OH NO OH NO OH NO

The Roommate: yeahhhhh this was maybe an. inappropriate scene for me to have to see in a theater. alone.

I love that while they’re making this ridiculous plan (yeah it’s ridiculous, i don’t care) Fury has to check in with Sam (WHO HE HAS LITERALLY NEVER MET BEFORE) presumably to just touch base and be like “Is this White Nonsense™?”

spoiler alert it is not White Nonsense™, but it definitely is Extra™

DAT JAWLINE THO. of course he’s giving the orders, LOOK AT THAT JAWLINE

LIL STEEB!

I’m with you to the end of the line.

what kind of marriage vow nonsense is that

jesus.

anyway, Sam comes in like: IT IS I! YOUR BEST FRIEND! YOUR BEST FRIEND IS ME NOW!

poooterrrr!!

This is the second secure government facility that they have broken into. Possibly the third, depending whether you count the bunker.

Dem Asses. Seriously. Everyone in this shot has an enviable ass. *distinguished golf clapping* bravo

“~Excuse us~” i c o n i c

God, Steve gives this speech and then we get sam’s reaction and you can physically see him having a sexual identity crisis and honestly BIG MOOD THERE, SAM

I have questions about the effect of this on the potomac river which has already had a hard enough time and does not deserve this Supervillain Nonsense.

you are ON FOOT steven. it is a FLYING AIRCRAFT CARRIER and you are ON! FOOT!

i’m so mad that it works too

mad, but like, also turned on. duh.

what’s cap’s true superpower? DRAMA

The saddest thing in this movie is that Jenny Agutter is Scarlet Johansson

don’t get me wrong, i like scarjo but this movie would’ve been even better if it wasn’t the black widow and was just a badass old british lady.

The Roommate: Sam’s superpower is that he’s the sane one.

Me: He flies into combat at 100 miles per hour with a jet pack and a tee shirt he is not the sane one.

The Roommate: Sam’s superpower is that he’s the emotionally balanced one?

Me: given the aforementioned armorless airborne combat situation that is highly fucking debatable my dude.

*SCREAMING*

HE’S HERE

let’s appreciate that Bucky is definitely flying this quinjet with a dead guy that he just murdered as his copilot.

i don’t know why that is so badass to me but it is

again, we don’t have time to unpack all of that, moving on.

Nick Fury: BITCH YOU THOUGHT

sidenote: i’m gonna really enjoy coming back to this movie after Captain Marvel. I can just feel it.

Maria is so casual about this. And that is an extremely sexy thing. I’m not sorry.

“Hey Sam, I’m gonna need a ride.”

Sam is still learning Rogersese and does not know that this means “I ALREADY DID THE STUPID THING PLEASE COME GET ME.”

Bucky ripping the wings off a beautiful butterfly

because Sam IS a beautiful butterfly.

except now his knees and legs and ankles are all broken because That’s How Bones Work.

he’s here

lol of course he’s got a knife.

I just love the sounds the arm makes.

butwedon’thavetimetounpackallofthat

the slide Bucky does here, this isn’t combat this is voguing.

Steve fights like the world is his barroom, bucky fights like the world is his catwalk.

“DON’T YOU TALK TO MY DAUGHTER LIKE THAT,” Nicholas J Fury

what’s the found family version of a BroTP? I have that for Dad!Nick and Adopted!Soviet!Assassin!Daughter!Natasha.

found familotp? FFOTP? no, that sounds like some kind of tactical asset. “LAUNCH THE FFOTP”

anyway, get on this tumblr, i want at least 10 options on my desk by monday.

This Extra. He could honestly make a living playing Confederates and Klansmen, you know which extra I mean.

“wHere ahre the tahrgets?”

the targets... is we.

A DC Local Aside: Everyone on 495 is So Tired of this nonsense. I sincerely hope they all remembered to pee before they left work. I hope they have snacks and water in their cars. because they now live on 495.

this shitshow is gonna fuck up our already extremely fucked up traffic patterns for yeeeeaaaaarrrrrssssss

Sam’s a born quipper, so i really like it when he sees the helicarrier coming down and just fucking bolts. NO TIME FOR SASS WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE

“Got a location on Rogers?”

Don’t know where he is, but he’s doing something stupid, i Guarantee It.

“you know me.”

“nNOo I dOn’T!”

Oh Steve. You put that shield down So Often. And you keep having to fucking pick it up a-fucking-gain.

And This Was The Moment When We All Realized That We Were In Trouble.

Big Mood, Bucky. Big Mood.

Sam wasn’t on the approved visitor’s list or anything, he just winked at one (1) nurse and they let him in.

i know just what to say it’ll annoy him so fucking much. “on your left.”

“Why haven’t we heard from Captain Rogers?”

Because he is taking a damn nap.

no but seriously, because if we put him in front of a camera right now, you will get the Talking To of the Century.

*eight hours later, congress is crying, hydra has surrendered, fox news is shutting down, steve rogers is still going strong* “AND DON’T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON STUDENT DEBT!”

~cool guys don’t look at congressional meltdowns. They drop the mic and they walk away~

IT WAS CLEVELAND, IN CASE YOU WERE WONDERING.

THEY FILMED IN CLEVELAND.

(they did film some in DC, obviously, but also cleveland.

*emoting at exhibits intensifies*

*SCREAMING INTENSIFIES*

in sum i have been typing for Too Long and I’m going to hit post so i can Go To Bed but there may need to be Corrections in the morning who tf knows

[jlf23tumble]

Hey, ur like a friend in my head, I've told u before I get so happy to see ur posts cause I already know I'm gonna luv them esp the tags, anyway I wanted to ask u something however I don't want it to become a thing but I'm just curious; How do u handle the anons that spew hatred cause I'm fairly new to tumblr & I've seen such lovely ppl leave but u never really seem to let them get to u, is there a trick or are u just like fcuk em and keep it moving, soz this got long, feel free to ans in tags💓

I KID, I’ve wanted to use this gif of Dorinda for forever, so I’m forcing it to apply to your ask…but it’s also kind of appropriate, too? Because nobody likes getting anon hate, I mean, most of mine is so asinine as to be farcical, but who wants to see it, even when it’s idiotic? I’m not a masochist! But with that said, I also feel like I’ve had it way easier than the ones I personally know who’ve left because they had to absorb a veritable shit-stream of highly personal, 100% weaponized, garbage attacks on all fronts. (This doesn’t mean you can/should try that out on me, you demons, I’m just saying that, relatively speaking, even the spell of vile horseshit I got a couple of months ago was nothing compared to what I know other people got.) But your (extremely sweet) ask was about how I deal with it, so here goes:

1. I block block block, and that goes not just on the ask but on any blog I can find that’s trying to stir its lil fiefdom of cowards behind computers into action (I don’t spend time looking for haters, but every now and again, someone will tell me privately, I block that blog, and the asks disappear, modern-day wizardry)

2. I stockpile a folder of all-purpose reaction images (like Dorinda!) for those moments when I’m crazy and/or drunk enough to answer something that particularly gets my goat, the idea being that I can at least amuse myself, lol

3. I remember that, ultimately, there are loads of super nice people, and some of them even send me supportive messages that I absolutely keep for rainy days…I have a few in my inbox just below what I’m typing here!

4. I remember, too, that people sending anon hate are the most tragic of the tragique because this is what they choose to spend their precious time on earth doing, namely, crafting toxic bullshit to send to a stranger about some other stranger (usually a celebrity they’ll never meet, ever) and then actually clicking the tab to hide who they are, and that last step, my friend…that’s when they know beyond a shadow of a doubt that they’re cowards (the ultimate irony is when they’re coming for me on “moral superiority grounds,” lmaoooo) 

5. I have actual real-life friends here who counteract any and all rancor just by existing (as I’m typing this, for example, Kim is sending me commentary on an a/b/o “Stranger Things” fic that is killing me dead)

6. I don’t have search turned on for this blog, and I run a SHIT-TON of random posts on the daily, so if anyone wants to send me hate, they’re gonna have to work for it, good luck finding the problematic post, hopefully they’re enjoying the aesthetic slideshow along the way…yer welcome, pals! 

7. Finally, I channel the captain of the S.S. Bad Ass, by which I mean I double down, fuck ‘em, and keep on moving, why should I stop putting my dumbass tags on shit because someone else thinks they deserve my password?

Anyway, welcome to tumblr, friend, and thank you for your kind thoughts (and ask)! Truly, it’s not 100% terrible here, just don’t let trolls win if you can help it (that means get the hell out if it’s hurting you in any fashion, I’m all for self-preservation for anyone dealing with the worst of the worst of this shit, and trust me, there are some terrible, terrible trolls out there hell bent on trollin’). I love any and all asks as long as they aren’t hateful garbage! Send me your random specific kinky fic rec requests, I have tons of ‘em! Send me your opinions on things, I’ve got ‘em, too! Send me our ask-meme whatnottery, I’m a big ole narse! Etc.!

[ongie]

this is tumblr user ongdan’s sappy 1 year blog anniversary post!!!

so i’ve had this blog for one year now and i’m??? genuinely shocked at how fast time has just flown by!!

through my one year on here, i’ve made so many amazing friends that i can talk to without shame, and i am so fucking appreciative of that. @ my mutuals, i love you all with my whole heart and i’m so happy all of you guys exist!!!!!

being on here allows me to be so much more open about myself - i can talk about the things i love without the fear of judgement, or be unapologetically gay even though i’m closeted in real life, among other things. 

this is so gross and sappy and i KNOW this is just a tumblr blog, but it’s also an outlet for me to vent and yell and talk to friends who live a 21 hour flight away. 

anyways i love u all, mutual or not, literally everyone that has followed me and rb-ed my gifs, added nice things in the tags, sent me asks and liked my content. i’m so grateful that i was able to start this blog because honestly my real life is ridiculously miserable and i rly enjoy having this blog.

anyways, to (some of) my mutuals:

@leedaehwi ♡ @extraongdinary ♡ @park-woojin ♡ @00dreamgirl ♡ @guanlliver ♡ @woojinnies​ ♡ @hasungswoon ♡ @1kdn ♡ @hongjoongs ♡ @kimjaehwan ♡ @emperorhwangs  

@ggukheon: ace!!! my same-country buddy!!! you’re rly fun to talk to and i enjoy your company a lot!!! i love u!!!1

@jwy/@yoojung: hi luna!!! even though we don’t rly talk much on tumblr i enjoy all our little messages here and there on twt lol i really like talking to you and honestly u are…. so soft my heart uwus every time we talk!!!!!! thank u for being a part of my life!!!!! also have i mentioned. that u make amazing content ya ok

@nielwoon: even though i’ve only recently followed you, i’ve enjoyed every single of our conversations and i’m so glad that i was able to meet you :”) let’s talk more, and i love ur content a lot

@ongnable: jas!! hello!! we haven’t talked in a while, but i hope u are doing well!! you’re an amazing person, and even before we became mutuals you’ve always been so nice to me hsksk i don’t deserve u

@hynjaes: mare!! honestly i love when u rb my posts and add things in the tag hsks it always makes me rly happy!! we’ve barely even talked, but i rly just want to tell u that lol anyway i love ur content and even though i don’t know half the groups u blog about i enjoy ur content anyway lol

@parkwoojin/@jiwoos: alissa! !!!!! hello!!! my cherry blossom gf!! the alpha jihoon content creator!! this time i didn’t forget ur message :D ur dp is so cute lol anyway yes 1. i love ur content?? it’s always amazing!!! and 2. even though we started off a lil awkward, i’m glad that we’re nice and comfortable w each other now!! i’m happy that we’re closer now and that we can do the gif battle together hksks (thank fuck it isn’t an actual battle or i’d be last place LMAOO anyway) also u are super cute nd i love ur face!!! 

@wnnaone: haru!!!! my dude!!! hi!! talking to you i really fun and i’m glad we were able to do the gif battle together! your gifs are always rly pretty and i’m still thinking about ur huge shelf of albums lmao how do u do it… anyway u are also rly cute and ur face is amazing and i’m so glad i have a mutual like u!!!!! 

@wanna-one: merve!! my mother!!! thank you so much for always listening to me and showering me with so much love!!! i’m sorry if i fail to reciprocate sometimes bc i am Shit at being cheesy unless i’m in a weird mood hsslsls u always so good things about me and i never rly get to say it back so just so u know: i love u, u are amazing and sweet and funny and i am so happy that i got to meet u

@baejinsgirl: hi abia!!! ur love for baejin is so cute lol and i’ll never be over how quickly u gif shit wow i cannot relate hsksk anyway!! i’m so happy we are mutuals bc u are rly cute and funny and i rly enjoy being ur mutual!!! let’s talk often!!

@ilhoonsmj: SARAH!!! my pal!!!!!! hello!!!!!! this is probably the thousandth message of mine u are reading but bear w me ok. first of all, Bitch i miss u wow i can’t wait to meet u again irl!!!!!!!!! in just 2 weeks!!!!! and also secondly, i rly love talking to u lmao sometimes my lungs hurt from the shit u say like i’m still in disbelief that the fucking senior pastor of my church is ur fucking UNCLE and not just that… the uncle of ur weird religious side :///// thirdly, i love u and honestly i’m always surprised at how our conversations are so comfortable like it’s Never awkward and even though we have an age gap i feel rly comfy around u!!!! thanks for coming into my life bitch ily let’s talk more about ur weird family when we meet hskss

@daehwi: hello kenia!! my idol!!!!! the reason this blog is 1 year old now!! without u there is no me!!!! hsksk i’m kidding but seriously ur content is amazing and i’m so glad we are mutuals now!! and i’m happy we get to do the gif battle together!! u are still my idol btw

i only tagged my mutuals who (i think) have recently been active hsksk so sorry if i left u out!!!

[junipersheepy]

i have no idea if my last ask sent through djbsjshs so the gist was 1) tunglr a bitch and unfollowed u when i tried to send an ask, and 2) u givr off real sweet & chill vibes. ur the kinda pal u wanna hang with u know

Tumblr fuckin ate your last ask and thank youu!