#THANKS FOR THIS GENUINELY LOVE GOING OVER STUFF LIKE THIS
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HI MAE so i didnt send the shy remus x reader ask but i saw that u wanted ideas and i had one. what about reader who's very cocky and like confident and stuff and remus is intimidated by her usually but then theyre at a party or smth and shes all drunk and shes all over him telling him stuff like how shes got the biggest crush on him or like how hes genuinely one of the most attractive people shes ever met and shy remus is js like ��� while also taking care of her bc shes so drunk and simultaneously trying not to combust
Hi my love, thank you so much for your request!
cw: alcohol
shy!Remus x fem!reader ♡ 1.1k words
Really, it should be Sirius’ responsibility to look after you. It is his party, after all. But Sirius has a love for delegating unwanted tasks and also a love for meddling (which Remus theorizes he got at least partly from James). So, naturally, you’re in Remus’ lap.
“You guys are so nice,” you croon, words strung together like cursive and fingers toying with a loose thread of Remus’ sweater. He’s resigned himself to letting you unravel the whole thing without complaint. “All of you, all your friends are the nicest…the warmest people I ever knew. How’d you do that?”
Remus smiles down at you. “I think James has always been good at bringing out the best in people.”
He’s not entirely sure how you came to be lying on your back on the couch, your head on Remus’ thigh and your hands reaching for the dangling thread above you like a cat enjoying some lazy play. If he asked you, Remus doesn’t think you’d know, either. It makes a lovely view for him, your eyes uptilted in his direction and features relaxed and unguarded as a result of the series of tequila shots Sirius had cajoled you into not realizing you’d already had a few drinks. Remus very much enjoys having you this close and being able to look at you so casually, even if your brassy, larger-than-life demeanor often terrifies as much as impresses him. Even if your head on his thigh makes his face feel like a fire hazard.
“Don’t think he had to work very hard with you. You’re such a sweetheart already.” You say it so simply, an obvious truth, and Remus finds himself staying perfectly still like a rabbit in the woods that thinks it might yet escape your notice. His heartbeat pitters in everywhere from his cheeks to his fingertips. He worries he’s going to have to make a response, but your eyes widen suddenly. “Oh! Sit still.”
No problems there. Remus moves only his eyes as you sit up from his lap, tucking your feet underneath you and reaching for him with your lip trapped between your teeth in concentration. You touch a fingertip to his cheek and smile victoriously.
“Got it.” You turn your finger, showing him. “You had an eyelash.” You blow it off your fingertip and onto Sirius’ rug. Remus marvels at the unthinking loveliness of you. “Have I talked to you about your eyes before?” you ask conversationally.
Remus blinks, ceasing his tracking of the eyelash to look at you. “I don’t think so,” he ventures, though he knows you haven’t. He remembers most exchanges you’ve had, and he definitely would have remembered that.
“Oh.” Your brows purse softly. “Must’ve been with someone else,” you murmur, almost to yourself. “Anyway, it’s important to me that you know, they’re really beautiful.”
Remus startles, partly at the compliment but mostly at the touch you lay on his cheek, your fingers cool and gentle, like you’re steadying his face for your perusal. You look into his eyes attentively.
“They’re brown,” Remus says in a soft voice.
Your lips tilt like he’s said something funny. “Nobody’s eyes are just brown, Remus. There are so many different kinds.” Your index finger draws a short line across his cheekbone. Remus can’t tell you mean for it to or not. “Yours are sort of like a…like a gradient. They get lighter farther down.”
Remus decides to study your eyes as you study his, and he sees what you mean. The shadow of your lashes makes your irises look darker at the tops. It’s difficult to tell, though, with your pupils eclipsing so much of them.
“They’re, like, a warmish brown,” you’re saying, gaze unwavering. “Like the color you want your tea to be. You know, there’s some fact or study or something that says brown eyes make people feel safe. Did you know that?”
“I didn’t,” Remus says. The weight of your attention is taking its toll on him, his body aching to sink into the couch cushions. He wants to ask if brown eyes have that effect on you, but he doesn’t have the nerve. “Is that so?” he asks instead.
You shrug. “I dunno. Works on me.”
The breath stalls in Remus’ lungs. You’re looking at him like you haven’t said anything out of the ordinary, expression wide open and somewhat unfocused.
You yawn, removing your hand from his face to half cover your mouth. It’s an awfully endearing show, and over too fast. “I guess that’s probably why—” You cut yourself off with a hiccup. Your eyes flare like you weren’t expecting it, hand jumping back up in front of your mouth. Remus grins before he can stop himself.
“Oh.” Your smile is an afterthought, a response to his. “Sorry.”
“It’s okay.” Remus isn’t even certain what you’re apologizing for.
Your eyes have that sweet, attentive look again. “I really like when you smile.”
Remus feels heat spread up to the tips of his ears. It’s official. He’s got more in common with a live flame than a human anymore. “What were you saying?” he prompts.
You bite your lip as though you’ve forgotten. “Oh!” Your eyes light. “Just, I guess that’s probably why I have such a giant crush on you.”
Remus’ heart thuds. He breathes, “What?”
“Yeah.” You roll your eyes, grinning at yourself. “It’s relentless.” Hiccup. “Super embarrassing. But—but you’ve got those eyes, and your freckles, and that sweetheart face…” You shrug again, helpless. Ride out another hiccup. “What am I supposed to do?”
Remus stares at you. It seems impossible. You have a crush on him? It’s out of the natural order. The world’s gone to chaos. It’s supposed to be the other way around! Remus pines silently after you, you eventually find some big, cocksure bloke who can match you, and Remus continues to pine whilst you go on with your brilliant, dazzling life. That’s the way it’s meant to be.
“I would…” Remus finds his mouth forming around words he doesn’t recognize until they come out. “I’d know a thing or two about a crush like that.”
Your lips part, but you don’t look offended. “Well, yeah. I’d hope you knew I fancied you, I’ve only been seeking you out ever since we met.”
Not what he meant. Remus did not, in fact, know that.
“I didn’t notice you were,” he admits.
Your head tilts. “Really?” There’s an obvious follow up question—then what did you mean just now?—but for one reason or another, you don’t ask it. You only lean onto his shoulder, your head slipping a few inches down his arm.
Remus channels all his bravery into an arm around your waist to keep you from slumping further. He vows to himself to tell you tomorrow.
#shy!remus#shy!remus lupin#remus lupin#remus lupin x reader#remus lupin x fem!reader#remus lupin x you#remus lupin x y/n#remus lupin x self insert#remus lupin fanfiction#remus lupin fanfic#remus lupin fic#remus lupin fluff#remus lupin imagine#remus lupin scenario#remus lupin drabble#remus lupin blurb#remus lupin one shot#remus lupin oneshot#marauders#marauders fanfiction#the marauders#marauders fandom#hp marauders#marauders era#marauders x reader
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Constant Companions Closeup #1: DYAD
(also on spotify!)
Hello everyone!! It's been a couple weeks and change since Constant Companions, my newest album, was released unto the world, and I've been genuinely blown away by the response. Genuinely, thank you to everyone who's been streaming, commenting, making mashups, changing their pfps and usernames - it means the world to me!
I wanted to give some of that love back with something people have been asking me a lot about - and, admittedly, something I love doing. Song explanations! Deep dives! Dropping the lore! Welcome... to the Constant Companions Closeups...
For the next eleven days, I'll be going into each track one by one and babbling about the process, inspiration, details, feelings, and thoughts behind each one! We're getting sappy. We're bearing our hearts. We're telling unfunny jokes. And we're starting with track one - DYAD (featuring unit.0)!
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Naturally, since this is the first track, it also serves as a great point to talk about my intention with this album as a whole!
I'll elaborate more on this with future tracks, but to me, there are really two main things that define the sonic progression of this album versus my previous work - guitars and vocal synths. Obviously, these things have been present in my work since I first started calling myself Jamie Paige, but Constant Companions is intended to be my overwrought, sappy confession of love to these two things that time and time again have made me simply want to make music. I love rock and I love Hatsune Miku dammit!!!
I had originally written this song in February of 2023 for a game-jam-esque online festival hosted by my friend Loni called HAPPY PARTY TRI, and at that time, I had found myself at a major crossroads. I had put out People Posture Play Pretend and :women_wrestling: the previous year, and while the response was nice, I was feeling listless and lost.
I love singing. I like my voice well enough. I certainly love writing music with lyrics!! But... there was something uniquely electrifying about using vocal synths. Amidst a lot of insecurity and emotional turmoil surrounding the process of making art and putting myself out into the world, it was one of the few things that just made everything feel right. Suddenly, I was making the same kind of music that had touched my heart so many times over.
Would it alienate people, though? Would I lose longtime listeners? Yes, that weighed on my mind more than I'd like to admit, but even more than that... I was worried I'd lose some part of myself, as silly as it sounds. Maybe what I thought was a bridge would become a barrier, and the messages I wanted to send across the gap would never find their way.
Ultimately, I felt that Dyad was the only kind of opener I could've possibly given this album, and a perfect fit for the album's motif. A dialogue between myself, stricken with loneliness and a lack of inertia running in circles, and that synthesized voice (ANRI Arcane my darling), grabbing the outstretched hand and asking a question I already know the answer to -
"Baby, do you know what you wanna hear?"
Yes, it's a love song, but it's not just for a person - it's a love song for the creative impulse, and for the places I wanted it to take me.
im resisting the urge to be jokingly dismissive of myself to diffuse tension but i still need to signal that the emotionally bare part of this is over so pretend im doing a funny little dance Anyways let's talk more technical stuff
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Like many of my songs, Dyad came together from a patchwork of different snippets and ideas I had laying around. The back half of the chorus - "dream together, we can dream together" - originally came from this idea I had jotted down something like 9 months prior, but ended up being a perfect fit for Dyad in basically every way. The verse snippet that I'd written to go with it got reused for a later song on Constant Companions as well! (I say without naming it, as if it isn't literally lifted wholesale from this demo and thus incredibly obvious)
I wasn't originally planning on brazenly quoting the bridge of a Tally Hall song when I set out to write this song, but while toying around with a bridge idea involving a shortened version of the pre-chorus melody, I realized I had inadvertently copied it anyways. I was going to scrap it... but at the request of my dear friend and certified Tally Hall lover Marcy Nabors, I made it an explicit reference. Which I'm fine with, personally! The first CD I ever owned was a copy of Marvin's Marvelous Mechanical Museum my sister bought me all the way back in 2006 - You can pry that sentimental attachment from my cold, dead hands, TikTok kiddies.
Lastly - not really behind the scenes so much as just a shoutout - thank you to unit.0 for the lovely lead guitar work on this song!! He's been a beloved collaborator of mine for many, many years now, and one of the people who ultimately convinced me this direction was the right one to go in, so it means a lot to share this song with him. Go listen to his music!!! Now!!!!!!
That's about it for this song! Not to sound like a fucking YouTuber, but genuinely, if there are any details you'd like to hear more about, let me know and I might made a bonus post at the end of all this. Otherwise, thank you for listening! Tomorrow: Not Quite There, featuring telebasher!
❤️💚
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Pocky Day 11/11
[Something short for pocky day! I am late!! But! It's still pocky day in certain parts of the world sooo.]
Adam eyed the various shops that lined the pristine streets of Heaven. Restaurants, convenience stores, food markets and cafés to both his left and right, offering a variety of food stuffs from full course meals to quick on the go snacks. Today was an oddly easy day for Adam, Sera somehow didn’t have much work for him to do and before he even knew it, he was already done with his work for the day before midday had even arrived. Wanting to share the goodness of his day, Adam decided to pay his husband a surprise visit at work and bring him lunch. He fished his phone out of the pockets of his robes; he had about thirty more minutes before Michael should be heading out for lunch. Good. That was plenty of time.
The soft chimes of a bell rang by the café’s entrance as Adam entered. It was a café that both particularly liked the food of, or well, Adam liked the food the place served; Michael liked everything and anything really to the point that Adam often found himself questioning if he had tastebuds to begin with. Thankfully, it did seem that Michael had some semblance of taste, though oddly enough, the archangel apparently had a taste for bitter things.
He quickly ordered things that he thought Michael would enjoy, a chicken taco salad and a cup of americano – no sugar and with just a tiny splash of milk. Of course he also got something for himself, cream puff pastries and a salted caramel frappé with cream on top. No, it wasn’t ‘lunch’ per say, but he didn’t care, looking at the bitter coffee he was bringing Michael made him crave sweets just to offset the bitterness that he could already imagine on his tongue.
Just as he was heading towards the door, he saw some winners and heaven borns alike sitting on one of the crowded tables of the café, trying to be quiet with their loudly hushed voices, but their giggling could be heard all over the place regardless. The winners seemed to be teaching the heaven borns something. Something exciting it seemed if gold that dusted the heaven borns’ faces were of any indication. Ever the curious and nosy first man, Adam strained his ears, though he didn’t have to try very hard, to listen in on the younger angels’ conversation.
Pocky game, huh?
The door to Michael’s office slammed open just as he was setting his papers aside to get ready to head out. Immediately, he knew who his esteemed guest was. There was only really one angel who would brazenly enter his office uninvited and unannounced, and yet overly comfortable and carefree. A soft smile immediately graced his lips as his husband’s tall figure and overly conspicuous appearance walked through his now wide open door.
“Surprise!!,” Adam yelled out, tossing his mask casually on the small couch near the door. “I got you lunch!” He handed the food he bought earlier along with the coffee, a wide grin on his face.
“Oh, thank you, Adam,” Michael smiled sweetly as he accepted the gift, genuinely touched by the gesture no matter how many times he received it. “You didn’t have to, I know you’re also busy…”
“But I did!,” Adam exclaimed, chest puffed out, hands on his hips, beaming proudly. “Aren’t I just the best?”
“The absolute best, nothing and no one could compare,” answered Michael with a soft loving gaze.
A faint gold dusted Adam’s cheeks at the words and look that Michael was giving. Even after all these years, the archangel was as sickly sweet as ever and Adam, ever the lovestruck, flusters all the same. Adam lightly shook his head and slapped his cheeks, trying to drown out the increasing loudness of his beating heart. No! He had a purpose today! And he was going to achieve it!
“By the way…,” he said, subverting the topic as he fished out something in a small paper bag. “Ta-da!!” He held out a small box in front of Michael with a picture of small biscuits covered in some sort of green coating.
“Pocky?,” mused Michael.
“They’re like biscuits dipped in chocolate, but I got you this green tea flavour thing instead,” Adam explained.
“Oh, okay.” Michael never had them before, but they seemed like a nice sweet snack. “I’ve never heard of it before.” He reached out for the box of sweets in front of him to examine it more, but Adam pulled it quickly away before he even had a chance to touch it. He blinked at Adam, confused, like a child being denied of something that was promised.
“Uh uh!” Adam waggled his finger in front of Michael. “I want to try a game with this one.” He tore open the box and the plastic that contained the biscuits inside, tossing the rubbish unceremoniously into the bin nearby. With one hand, he placed the coated end of the biscuit carefully between his teeth and then leaned forward towards Michael, his arms resting on the desk, back arched slightly, a playfully seductive glimmer in his eyes.
“Uhh.” Michael froze on his seat, his confusion told him to lean back, but his wants told him to remain still or even lean forward as well.
“You’re supposed to hold onto the other end with your teeth too,” Adam grinned, the pocky stick still carefully between his teeth. “And then we bite it until we meet in the middle. But be careful not to break it, otherwise it’s game over.” Then he leaned even closer towards Michael, almost poking his lips with the biscuit.
A light golden hue began to bloom across Michael’s starry cheeks but he relented to his husband’s request regardless, not that he wasn’t happy to oblige. Placing the biscuit lightly between his teeth, Michael made the grave mistake of looking at Adam’s eyes, a hotly molten gold simmering with enticing promises. Instantly, his breath hitched and he froze up on the spot. Despite that, or maybe exactly because of his reaction, Adam began biting the biscuit, getting even closer to his lips with every bite; their breaths against each other, hot and warm. For every inch that they got closer, the golden flush that peppered across Michael’s cheeks only seemed to glow brighter and brighter, while Adam mostly remained cool and relaxed, with only a faint golden hue over his own cheeks. Throughout the entire ordeal, Adam kept his alluring hold over Michael until suddenly, only an inch of the sweet biscuit remained between them.
Michael barely moved during the entire process, a slight sweetness from the pocky ran over his tongue, but it was a different kind of sweetness that he craved; one that had an inch of biscuit acting as a barrier between them. The tension hung heavily in the air between them, and neither dared to move. It was frustrating, Michael wasn’t sure if he could hold on like this much longer, he could already feel himself overheating from all the teasing, but even worse was that Adam seemed all too eager to keep him at bay, dangling sweet promises right in front of him.
Eventually, Michael mustered up the strength to overcome the small gap between them. And then, with a soft cracking sound, their connection broke. The biscuit was now broken into two, one for each of them. Michael looked down at the other half of the biscuit that was between Adam’s lips, and it was like a bucket of freezing water was thrown at him. Oh no.
“Oh, well that’s unfortunate.” Adam leaned away, licking some of the icing off of his lips, pleasantly sweet on his tongue. “I guess that’s game over.” He looked down at his husband, who remained sadly seated on his chair looking like a kicked puppy. He was half tempted to leave him hanging there, but he was feeling extra nice today.
“Luckily…,” he picked up the box of pocky again and pulled out another biscuit, placing it between his teeth, a playful grin on his lips. “...we have plenty to practise on.”
#hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel adam#guitarhero#hazbin hotel michael#michael x adam#hazbin adam#🛡🎸#short and sweet
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Thank y'all for your input. It has been recorded. Additional details that were not included in the base post on purpose because it was stuff one or the other wouldn't have considered when deciding if they should apologize:
- B does not have an issue with A's sister, in fact he has offered to let her move in with them. He doesn't want to get between the siblings or to be the reason their relationship breaks apart, but he also doesn't want to lose his partner over the fact she doesn't like him for things that are Largely but not entirely out of his control.
- Sister thinks B is cringe because he's older, an adult goth, deformed, religious, and dating her brother.
- A loves B and, were his Sister not objecting to the relationship, would have 0 major qualms about it. He feels safe and well cared for and like this relationship has the ability to go the long haul otherwise.
- A puts so much weight behind his Sister's opinions because they are twins and still in the overly dependent on eachother phase of twin life. Before moving in with B he had never spent more than a day or two away from her.
- The fight started because A was crying over Sister sorta making him have to choose if he wants her or B in his life. B attempted to soothe while also reminding A that he was the one who offered him a no strings attached place to stay after finding out A and Sister's father was dangerously physically abusive. Sister was giving A a choice over who he wanted in his life more, B wasn't.
- It's a high tension scenario because A and sister are 16. A believes that if his relationship with B fails he'll have to move back in with his abusive father where he'll be in genuine danger.
- B would not do that to A. if their relationship fails A just moves into the guest room. Them being together has never been a condition for B to help him even if A, for his own poor self worth reasons, believes it is.
-Which is why B doesn't understand why it's such a big deal to A. From B's perspective, A is throwing a fit over not being able to have everything go his way and reaffirming that A thinks Sister is right to judge B for his deformities, religion, and past history as she didn't have issues with A pursuing other too old for him men. Her problem with B is that he's B, not that he's 30.
- A however sees it as his Sister making him Chose between a 'safe' home and happy relationship, and the only person A has ever cared about. While B is Making him let go of the only other connection in his life to prioritize the one between them so he can keep his safe home and happy relationship. It doesn't matter if B is sorta right, he's not being given a real choice by their situation and he's blaming B for that.
I as the author was functionally incapable of making A be the one to apologize bc fuck, that boys 16. he should be calling the cops not apologizing. but if you look at things from their perspective, A is absolutely in the wrong and hurt B because of it. thank y'all for affirming that.
ok I have a bottle of vinegar that used to be cheap wine in me now so I'm finally ready to make this post
You are king Solomon and these two assholes walk up to you. It Your job to decide which one has to say "I'm sorry".
Person A is mad at B for trying to make him prioritize their very committed relationship over his sister's approval. Nothing bad will happen to the sister if they stay together, she just thinks B is cringe and that A should dump him.
Person B is mad at A for genuinely considering dumping him and acting embarrassed about being with him because his sister thinks B is cringe.
(context: A should dump B for a Lot of reasons. him being cringe is only the one of them that's the problem right now. B should dump A for a mostly Different list of reasons.)
no third answer. one of these fuckers has to say I'm sorry and it's been holding up this chapter for Months
#source: ive been 16 and in a relationship with a man too old for me. You are Absolutely not taking that facet into account when you're the#kid having a lovers quarrel with a guy who was voting while you were still in diapers.#your friends also don't take that into account bc when you're 16 you think you're all grown up and so this adult is your peer#to suggest that the age gap is the problem is to suggest You aren't mature enough to evaluate a situation#which you aren't but when youre 16 youre the most mature youve ever been up to that point.#the 30 yo could be your coworker#why cant he be your beau etc etc etc
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S1 Pulp Musicals Gang my beloved
#minus Chester because drawing his hat was genuinely aggravating and I wanted to choose peace#I love these little goobers#y’know what else I love?#pulp musicals#belive it or not#god it’s so good#I will never stop talking about how incredible pulp musicals is#just fyi#so fucking pumped for pulp 4#god it’s going to be so good#These were so much fun#might do some more later#thought i'd just get these done and posted tho bc i'm been working HARD on curtwen week stuff yall#so far ive got two done#only 6 to go#thank god finals are over bc im gonna be on that GRIND#i'm really excited for em so far tho#I genuinely really like the first two that are done so far#ngl i kinda ate#but yeah it's all very exciting#alr time for our fun fact#fun fact: the hashtag symbol is actually called an octothorpe#no longer saying im going to leave it in the tags- it's in the octothorpes now people /j#rose stratford#samuel stratford#sir john herschel#john herschel#benjamin park#margaret cavendish#the great moon hoax
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#thank you for submitting!!#submission#ops caption:#Hey there!! I love your account and couldn’t help but notice there’s a lot of JJK screenshots and so I thought I’d submit my own.#This is from my work titled: Let’s Get Physical! And I also go by YearnWorm on there.#Idk if it’s tacky to submit ur own stuff 😳 but hey maybe someone else will find it as funny as my beta and I did lmaoo#Keep it up gamer!#<- replying#youre so sweet thank you!! no worries about submitting your own things there’s nothing to be ashamed of showing your own work!!!! i for one#post things i think are hilarious - sometimes they hit sometimes they don’t but hey they’re out there and i still like them#also no shame to the person who i’m about to talk about but idk but i remember this one time someone submitted their own work and when i#posted it they reblogged it saying smth like oh it’s me!! thanks for screenshotting my stuff!! and i was like …ok#but respect to them ig i admire their audacity#anyways story over don’t worry about submitting your own work anyone who’s reading this chances are i’ll love it anyway lmao#n e ways#CRHING LMOA I READ TBIS WRONG AND DIDNT SEE THE PRETENDING TO REEL HIM IN PART AND GENUINELY THKUGHT THIS WAS SOME MERMAY THJNG LMAOOOOO#LOVE THIS FOR HIM THOUGH AT LEAST HES SELF AWARE MEGUMI 🙌#FAVOURITE
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me and the generic extra strong Tylenol and the pure rage in my system
#Every once in a while I think. It’s not too bad home. I’m over dramatic. It’s not bad and it won’t be bad when I go home and never been bad#Then actually think and remember#I shouldn’t have been hit as a small child. I thank god that my parents stopped that with me.#But also. I should have been taken seriously when I went To them with concerns and shouldn’t have been brushed off.#But also to be a 14 something year old and to realize your parents aren’t in love is a crushing feeling#Since that must have been when. 13-14. Appa passed. Pandemic times. I’m sure my father. Since this would have been the last time I saw Appa#We went down to visit. Dad didn’t go he had work. He sent us off. I remember sitting in the passenger seat by mom in driver#Dad praying for our safe travel and for him going in for a kiss and the moment of hesitation and unwant from my mother#And the awkward silence and the way everything seemed to just shift to the side#That was summer of 2019. My first time realizing my parents weren’t both in love happened when I was 13-14.#I wouldn’t wish that on anyone.#And going to college has me feeling so guilty. Like I fucking ditched my siblings? The kids I raised as a child myself?#(I had to go. I don’t know if my scholarship would have held I don’t know if my financial aid would have held. I couldn’t have waited. )#(I would have likely done something bad to myself. Genuinely. If I weren’t able to be here. If I had to stay. I wouldn’t survive that.)#my siblings are fine. They have no responsibilities. My sister is manipulative. They will manage. They want me to get the education I need#They aren’t going to have to use their own college money to pay to be able to eat because the parents won’t feed them for the summer#I went into college with at least a couple hundred less than I should have. Because I had to parent. I had to feed my siblings.#And I had to pay to fill the gas tank on my father’s gas eater truck. We couldn’t be home because of the selling home situation.#I had to do something to get us out and to feed us but I didn’t get paid back for anywhere near all of it#I don’t regret it. But a kid shouldn’t have to pay for them and their siblings to live.#But then I remember the dread I have for returning ‘home’ for the breaks. I don’t know what I’m going to do.#If I can’t work all of the breaks then I either won’t be able to pay next semester#Or I’ll have almost no money in savings. Like nothing to my name. Can’t buy gas. Can’t do anything. Can’t buy food.#Unless the next scholarship stuff I’m doing pulls through. But I’m willing to work the whole break just to get away from either house.#I want to violently shake my parents and get them to comprehend#Father you have dropped 260$ into my bank account in the last two weeks. Why could this not be earlier in the semester.#Why couldn’t that be in the time and fashion you FUCKING PROMISED for helping me pay my schooling?#You have money to spare. Stupid. Why couldn’t you help like you promised.#Mom you fucker. I get that you are kinda with a new man now. But you’re leading yourself into a relationship with a man you said yourself#You don’t want to date because he wants to move away with his sister and because he hates it here
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what do i have to do to get people to read my stuff actually like im not about to get in everyones faces begging for attention but i dont understand how im expected to make FREE fandom content without much feedback on my work
#ignore my ranting but im actually so fucked disillusioned#like why are there so many people who scream about supporting each other and lifting up small creators#and they never do it themselves unless its their friend#sorry i dont sit at the popular table but i never expected that it would impact my reach this much#my newest fic has more hits but less kudos and less comments than my first#it's so obvious people only interacted on my first fic *because* it was my first fic#and thank you so fucking much to the people who have given me kind words#and literally religiously rbing my stuff because you think im worth listening to#this isn't about me crying because im not popular#people with bigger followings are naturally going to get more attention#but the only reason ive started posting my fics is because all these POPULAR BLOGS were like 'we support each other here!!!'#'were a big family were not a big fandom so any time someone posts it brings a smile to our faces!' blah blah blah#like youre out here lying for clout you literally only leave feed or kudos if its your fucking friend 😭 not even if its good#i guess id rather have less people interacting if it means the feedback i get is genuine and not just blowing smoke up my ass#but it still hurts to write a fic that flops and then write another fic thats over 3x longer than my first fic#WITH A PREMISE THAT POPULAR WRITERS HAVE WRITTEN ABOUT BEFORE AND BLEW UP FOR IT AND PEOPLE IDOLIZE THEIR WRITING#so im expecting to get more feedback and constructive criticism because it's a concept that a lot of people seem to love#only to get EVEN LESS FEEDBACK THAN ON MY FIRST FIC#like sorry to everyone who genuinely likes my writing i actually love you so much#but im very rejection sensitive and don't plan on continuing this. it seriously hurts me. it triggers my abandonment and selfhatred shit ba#like im sick to my stomach that another thing im passionate about is sucking the life out of me & i cant even get my foot in the door#donut rebagel this thanks and goodbye
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the aftermath of having 2 terabytes of storage
#i have never had a computer this nice lmao#i'm constantly so used to automatically assuming i Can't Do Most Things bc most of the time i'm barred from Everything#either by physical skill or money or age or location#so when i got a Nice Computer my brain was like STUFF I CAN DO?????????? STUFF I CAN DO!!!!!!!!!!!!#and just. downloaded all the games i haven't been able to play bc my laptop sucks ass#the dopamine rush. lmao#i can actually play skyrim again for the first time since i was 17 😭#genuinely getting this computer has given me the exact same feeling as finally getting my wheelchair#just the fucking sheer joy of *oh my fucking god i have freedom now. i can actually DO STUFF*#seriously being able to use the wheelchair has made me so fucking happy i don't feel awful when going to the store i can actually THINK#bc i dont have brain fog from having to focus all of my energy on staying upright#and the computer is giving me the same feeling of freedom like. i can actually DO STUFF with my computer and not worry about it crashing#i can record video now!!!! I COULD START STREAMING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#i can actually learn to code because the coding programs will run!!!!!! i can start making datapacks!!!!!!!!!!!!!#can PLAY THE GAMES I'VE BOUGHT OVER THE YEARS FINALLY#FUCKING THANK YOU STEAM FOR LETTING ME KEEP THESE GAMES UNTIL I CAN ACTUALLY PLAY THEM#INSTEAD OF BEING A SHITASS STREAMING SERVICE THAT TAKES AWAY YOUR PRODUCT *AND* MONEY WHENEVER THEY FEEL LIKE IT#like i bought assassins creed odyssey the year it came out and i've never even been able to OPEN it on any of my old computers#i bought Jusant recently because it looks very pretty but the game wouldn't let me download it on my laptop bc the graphics card was shit#i have a bunch of games that I've just hoarded on my steam account for years and now i can finally play them#i can get back to subnautica too!!!! and finally finish out we happy few!!!#anyway im gonna go continue to be insane about this machine i love computers theyre so fun
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...Okay well damn, season 2 is way better than 1 was. I'm actually getting kind of invested now
#ignore me#SW HS exchange#just finished s2e6. the one that introduces Barriss? and that was just a genuinely good episode#along with the one before it tbh! for such an action-heavy arc this has been a surprisingly attention-holding series of episodes#and even before that. the season opened with more of this Cad Bane bounty hunter guy and I'm REALLY liking him#every episode with him so far has been a winner#really the only sorta-mediocre episode this season has been the unconnected one-off (of course) with Padme acting as a spy#and that one would also have been good honestly if I hadn't been cackling like a hyena the whole time at Anakin's horrendous romantic drama#the opening scene of that ep was GENUINELY so sweet and nice with him bringing Padme dinner and them being all mushy together#but then the HYPOCRITE OF ALL TIME tells her that he has to go do Jedi stuff because ''duty comes first''#AS IF HE HADN'T JUST SPENT A WHOLE EPISODE LAST SEASON WHINING TO HER ABOUT HOW SHE CHOOSES HER SENATE DUTIES OVER HIM#AND THEN HE TRIES TO BOSS HER AROUND AND KEEP HER FROM GETTING INVOLVED BUT SHE'S JUST LIKE ''actually eff off I do what I want''#(which had me cheering out loud tbh. thank god Padme at least calls him out on his bullshit)#and then she kinda goes out of her way to piss him off and has a whole flirty thing with her old pal that's in love with her and ghdsjfa#it's so stupid and cringe and I couldn't help but love and hate it in equal measure
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okay... I've only got sojiro rank 10 left and futaba's at rank 7... let's just hope I don't get fucked up by turning down the romance route
#☢️.txt#roz replays p5r#i have 4 days for futaba left im p sure?#so. assuming i dont get completely fucked over by atlus making all the girls desperately in love with you regardless of if it makes sense#i SHOULD be fine#hopefully. chihaya will save me.#genuinely tho it irks me so much that futaba has a romance option#the rest of the game treats her like your sister. sojiro specifically asks you not to date her.#sojiro + futaba + joker are referred to as a family!!!! theyre treated as family!!!!!! what the fuck atlus!!!!!!#also i get so annoyed when ppl use the excuse of 'adoptive siblings arent considered siblings in japan'#yeah and adopted children typically arent viewed as actual children either. the game is pretty clear thats fucked up.#very annoying when ppl pull the 'in japanese culture' card on the game about why a lot of japanese culture is actually Fucked Up#ik most p5r players probably havent spent hours reading translated interviews and reading academic papers on japanese sociocultural issues#because theyre not Actually Insane but i still get mad. esp when its stuff the game... literally addresses?#like the stuff around ann i get. the game doesnt go into how 'european features' are heavily fetishized in japan#nor the nuances of being mixed + foreign/percieved as foreign. bc it assumes the player Knows Those Things#so it makes total sense why a western player wouldnt get why ann being white passing isnt... really a good thing for her#but like. the issue of how adopted children in japan are treated comes up THREE SEPARATE TIMES.#futaba and akechi BOTH mention how fucking horrific the japanese foster system is#yusuke mentions how he has madarame to thank for his life... because he couldve had it worse in group homes#sojiro's entire confidant is about how he's a father despite having no biological children#gah. it bothers me sooooo much.#btw i did not read academic papers on japanese sociocultural issues JUST for p5r. i also did it for ace attorney.#a lot of overlap actually since AA is essentially commentary on how jpn courts fucking suck and falsely convict people
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oh no u guys are definitely good friends and looking out for her by bringing up important things she should consider. i think she might just be frustrated/embarrassed she didn't think that far and is lashing out bc of that?😭
my roommate said the same thing too!! (screenshot + more under cut)
and like i said, i really do hope so because it means we actually got thru to her and she wants to do more not to end up in a bad spot. but it's still so frustrating bc no matter what we said about caring for her and looking out for her, we couldn't get it thru that we weren't saying these things to be mean... she just deadass did not believe us which like ... c'mon !!!!
(esp because this is like ... the 188th issue she's had with this guy and the 45th about money specifically... AND they've only been dating a year and a half or so.... ugh it just makes me want to cry for her bc... she wants to marry him anyway???? PLEASE.)
#like she's genuinely really sweet isn't in it for the money she really does love this guy but like. whew.#his family is gonna steamroll her and she's not going to be able to stop it#which like. not to give credit where credit isnt due but at least if she were a gold digger she'd be prepared#it sucks bc she said a bunch of stuff like 'you think i'm gonna let myself get scr*wed over' and we were just like. yes.#bc she wasn't listening !!#and we were trying so hard to get her to tell us the full situation#and she didn't even know either#which like. something fishy is going on here and she's going to get hurt but. WE CAN'T IDENTIFY WHAT.#and she doesn't even know#she's really easily swayed by like. stupid excuses#u know like. her bf said he bought the house with his inheritance from his grandpa ... mind u he's 23#and she didn't even think about the possibility there would be a cosigner?#anyway maybe im giving too much away here LOL but thank u for agreeing with me anon </3 im glad to know we were at least#trying to do the right thing#get some rest and have a snack and some water#i'll update u if it gets worse or better#caitie answers#anon
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Hey, can you write about landos gf breaking her arm and him taking care of her? like having to help her change and shower, doing her hair und stuff line that? thank you <3
In his care - LN4
*:・゚ Summary/request: request by anon as you can read above this!
*:・゚ Word count: 1562
masterlist / community / request
౨ৎ
Lando Norris had always been the playful, light-hearted boyfriend, the type to tease and make you laugh until your stomach hurt. But after three years together, there was a depth to your relationship that went beyond just the banter and the fun. He’d become your best friend, your confidant, and now, your caretaker.
You hadn’t expected to be in this position—broken arm in a sling, unable to do even the most basic things without help. It was a stupid accident, really. A slip, a fall, and now you were stuck in this uncomfortable, frustrating situation. But as it turned out, Lando was more than up for the challenge of taking care of you. In fact, he seemed to enjoy it.
-
The first real test came on day one, when it was time for you to shower. Lando, always the playful one, had teased you when he realized you’d need help.
“So, I get to see you naked... and it’s for ‘medical reasons’? Lucky me,” he said with a wink, earning him an eye-roll from you.
“Lando,” you groaned, cheeks flushing. “This isn’t exactly a fun situation, you know.”
But even as you complained, you couldn’t help but laugh. He had a way of lightening even the most awkward moments. His teasing helped take your mind off the discomfort and frustration of not being able to do things on your own. Lando knew when to joke, and when to be serious.
“I’m kidding, love,” he said, his tone softening as he walked over to you. “I’ve got you, okay?”
And he did. Gently, he helped you undress, his fingers careful around your arm. There was something about the way he moved—confident yet delicate—that made you feel safe. Vulnerable, yes, but never embarrassed. He was Lando, your Lando, and there was no one else you trusted more.
Once you were under the warm spray of water, he joined you, shampooing your hair, his fingers massaging your scalp. It was a strange, intimate experience, but not in a way that made you feel uncomfortable. In fact, it was sweet.
“Maybe I should do this for you more often,” he murmured, lips close to your ear.
“You think I’ll let you wash my hair when I’m fully capable?” you shot back, a smile tugging at your lips.
He chuckled, his breath warm on your neck. “You never know, you might like the service.”
But as much as he teased, there was genuine care in the way he handled you. He washed every inch of your body with the gentleness you never knew he had. You leaned into him, resting your head on his chest for a moment, feeling his steady heartbeat beneath your ear.
“Thank you,” you whispered.
“For what?” he asked softly, pressing a kiss to the top of your head.
“For being... you.”
-
You never realized how hard it was to do something as simple as put your hair in a ponytail with one hand. By the third day, you were ready to give up on the idea of leaving the house with your hair looking decent. But, of course, Lando wasn’t going to let that happen.
“Okay, I’m going to do it,” he said, determination in his voice as he picked up your hairbrush and an elastic.
You sat in front of him, trying to keep still while he struggled to gather your hair into something resembling a ponytail. The concentration on his face was adorable—his tongue poking out a little as he focused on the task at hand.
“Lando, it’s fine,” you said after the third attempt. “I can just wear it down.”
“No way,” he said, shaking his head. “I’m getting this right.”
It took another few tries, but eventually, he managed to pull your hair into a somewhat lopsided ponytail. He grinned proudly, admiring his work in the mirror behind you.
“Look at that! I’m a pro,” he said, obviously pleased with himself.
You laughed, reaching up with your good hand to touch the ponytail. It wasn’t perfect, but it was endearing in its imperfection.
“I love it,” you said sincerely.
He wrapped his arms around you from behind, resting his chin on your good shoulder. “Told you I’d take care of you.”
“You’re doing a great job, babe.”
-
As the days went on, Lando had to help you with more than just your hair. Getting dressed with one hand was a nightmare, and you hated having to rely on him for something so simple. But Lando, being the cheeky guy he was, turned it into something fun.
“Alright, love, what’ll it be today?” he asked, holding up two of your shirts. “Sexy red or casual blue?”
You gave him a pointed look. “I’m not trying to impress anyone, Lando.”
He smirked, his eyes twinkling mischievously. “You’re always impressing me, though.”
You rolled your eyes, but your heart fluttered at his words. He knew exactly how to make you feel special, even when you were at your most vulnerable.
“Blue,” you said with a sigh, and he grinned.
Helping you get dressed was, of course, another challenge. He was gentle but still fumbled a bit, trying not to hurt your arm as he guided it through the sleeve.
“Sorry, sorry!” he muttered as he accidentally tugged too hard on your sling.
You laughed through the discomfort. “You’re not great at this, huh?”
“Hey! I’m doing my best here,” he protested, but there was no real frustration in his voice. He was patient with you, and that was what mattered.
Once you were dressed, he stepped back to admire his work.
“Not bad, huh?” he said, a proud smile on his face.
“Not bad at all,” you agreed, and he leaned down to kiss you softly.
-
By the end of the week, you were starting to feel a little more like yourself, but the pain in your arm was still a constant reminder of your injury. Lando, ever the attentive boyfriend, noticed when you were getting frustrated or tired, and he was always there to offer comfort.
That evening, you were lying on the couch, scrolling mindlessly through your phone, when Lando plopped down beside you. Without a word, he pulled you into his arms, careful of your injured arm, and snuggled up close.
“You doing okay?” he asked, his voice soft in your ear.
“Yeah,” you sighed. “Just... tired of this.”
“I know,” he murmured, pressing a kiss to your temple. “But you’re doing great. And I’m here, okay? For as long as you need me.”
You smiled, leaning into him. His warmth, his presence—it was everything you needed. You didn’t have to ask for his help; he just gave it freely, without hesitation.
As you lay there together, his fingers absentmindedly drawing circles on your back, you realized how lucky you were. Not just because he was helping you through this injury, but because he was Lando. The man who loved you unconditionally, who saw you at your weakest and still made you feel strong.
“Love you,” you whispered, closing your eyes.
“Love you more,” he replied softly, and you could hear the smile in his voice.
And in that moment, broken arm and all, you felt more loved than ever.
-
As your arm started to heal, you began to regain some independence, but that didn’t stop Lando from taking every opportunity to tease you. He seemed to enjoy his new role as caretaker a little too much, and he never missed a chance to flirt.
One afternoon, you were sitting at the kitchen table, trying to cut up some fruit with your good hand. Lando walked in, immediately taking the knife from you.
“Let me help,” he said, leaning in close.
“I can do it,” you protested, though you didn’t exactly mind when he was this close to you.
He grinned, his eyes sparkling with mischief. “Yeah, but I do it better, don’t I?”
You rolled your eyes, but you couldn’t hide the smile that tugged at your lips. He knew exactly how to get under your skin, but in the best way.
As he cut up the fruit, he stole glances at you, his smile never fading. “You know,” he said casually, “taking care of you has been... kind of fun.”
“Oh, has it now?” you asked, raising an eyebrow.
“Yeah,” he said, sliding a piece of fruit toward you. “I mean, I get to spend all this extra time with you, take care of you, shower with you...”
“Lando!” you laughed, swatting at him with your good hand.
He chuckled, leaning down to kiss you. “I’m just saying, maybe I should be your personal nurse more often.”
“You’re ridiculous,” you said, but your heart swelled with love for him.
“I know,” he replied, his voice soft as he looked into your eyes. “But you love me for it.”
And he was right.
౨ৎ
*:・゚ Notes; thank you for reading, love’s! Hope you all enjoyed it! If there is something wrong or need to be edited, let me know! Also hey anon! If you read this, I hope that this is what you had in mind!
#f1 fanfic#f1 fic#f1 imagine#f1 x reader#f1 x you#formula 1#formula one x reader#formula one x you#lando norris#lando norris fanfic#lando norris fluff#lando norris x reader#lando x y/n#lando norris imagine#lando x you#lando x reader#lando norris fic#lando imagine#lando norris x you#lando norris x y/n#f1 x female reader#f1 fluff#f1 x y/n#f1#f1 2024#formula one#formula racing#taking care#lando norizz#fanfic
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maybe jelly — gojo satoru x f!reader
a/n: gojo getting jealous? 👁️👁️
you arrive at jujutsu high, as you prepare for your guest lecture. you’ve given these talks before, but this time, something feels a little different—satoru is acting strange.
not that he’s ever normal, but today he seems extra…dramatic.
“you’re going to kill it, babe,” satoru says, draping his arm over your shoulders as you walk toward the classroom. his blindfold hides his eyes, but you can feel the intensity of his gaze, more focused than usual.
“you okay?” you ask, glancing at him with a teasing grin. “you seem a little... off.”
“me? off? never,” he replies, lips pulling into his trademark smirk. “just making sure no one gets too cozy with my brilliant wife. gotta make sure these kids remember you’re taken.”
you roll your eyes playfully, “I think everybody and their mother know that, satoru.”
time passes by, and now, you stand at the front of the lecture hall at jujutsu high, wrapping up your talk.
the students seem genuinely engaged, and one in particular, a young sorcerer named ren, is practically bouncing with enthusiasm, asking follow-up questions.
“and how did you manage to seal that curse without any physical confrontation?” ren asks, his voice brimming with admiration and curiosity.
before you could respond, satoru appears at your side with his usual confidence, his presence instantly commanding attention, “well, she is the wife of the gojo satoru. kinda comes with the territory,” he interjects, flashing his signature grin.
you shoot him an exasperated look, “I’m pretty sure my skills had something to do with it.”
satoru leans in close, nuzzling against your cheek affectionately before pulling back slightly. “oh, of course, sweetheart. you’re amazing, but it doesn’t hurt to be married to the strongest sorcerer around, right?”
ren blinks, clearly caught off guard by the interaction.
he glances between you and satoru, his expression a mix of confusion and awe. “I wasn’t aware you were married,” he mutters, his gaze flickering between you and satoru as if trying to process this new information.
you smile and give satoru a jab into his ribs that he takes like a champ, “yeah, he likes to remind people. it’s kind of his thing.”
satoru, never one to miss an opportunity to make a grand statement, leans down and places a soft kiss on the top of your head.
his arm slips casually around your waist, “just keeping things clear. y'know, in case anyone forgets that I get the honor of calling you mine.”
ren tries to steer the conversation back to his question, “so, about the sealing technique…”
satoru cuts him off again, stepping slightly in front of you with a playful yet firm stance.
“hey, hey, let’s not bombard her with too many questions now. she’s been on her feet alllll day, talking about all the cool stuff she’s done and showing everybody just how badass she is.”
you roll your eyes but can’t suppress a small smile. stepping around him to face ren again, you continue, “ignore him. the technique I used requires focusing on—”
satoru clears his throat dramatically, pulling you back to his side and wrapping his arm around your shoulders, eyes boring into the poor boy even through his blindfold.
“you know what I think? I think my lovely wife deserves a break. maybe some alone time with her handsome, strong, and incredibly talented husband?”
you raise an eyebrow at him, your tone teasing. “handsome and humble, I see.”
satoru’s grin widens, and he leans down to whisper in your ear, “I can be both when it comes to you.”
you are about to retort back, but then you remember that ren is still here.
you turn to the boy with a smile and assure him, “anyway, ren, if you want to chat more about techniques, we can catch up later. after my husband gets over himself,” you hiss at the man who raises his hands in surrender.
ren, now visibly flustered and unsure, mumbled, “uh, I’ll… catch up with you later then. thanks for the talk!”
ren dashes out the room, slamming the door behind him. you tap your feet against the ground for a few minutes, before you elbow satoru again.
he stays standing up, chest puffed out and a big grin plastered on his face. you deadpan as you stare at your husband, “you really couldn’t help yourself, could you?”
satoru shrugs nonchalantly, still holding you close. he hums, giving you a kiss on the forehead, “what can I say? I don’t like sharing. besides, you are the wife of the strongest sorcerer; it’s important to make sure that’s clear.”
you roll your eyes, but you can’t help but smile helplessly at your husband. your fingers find their way through his hair making him instantly melt. you giggle at your puddle of a husband, “you’re so lucky I love you.”
he tilts his head slightly, his eyes softening as he looks at you. “I love you more, soooooooooooo—”
“oh my god, I get it,” you laugh as you try to push him off. he resists with a whine as he nuzzles his face into your shoulder. you yield and let the silence fill the room.
he hums softly as you both sway mindlessly.
“but y’know,” you pull back slightly, smiling up at him, “you really do like to make an impression.”
he chuckles, his eyes twinkling with a mix of pride and mischief, “just doing my part to ensure everyone knows how lucky I am and how lucky they should feel to be in the presence of my extraordinary wife.”
he intertwines your left hands together and raises them slightly, showing off the rings. the sun makes them shine quite brightly, and it makes you sigh with a smile and satoru let out a huff of laughter.
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Hi I'm that person who made the original post about "no doesn mean no" when a small bit of the mr beast company document was leaked, well, now we have the full document (thanks rosanna) so I'm going to go over it. Please note I am not a lawyer or a business man, I'm in college for psychology, so I might misunderstand some things or make the wrong conclusion. However, if this is a document made for the average mr. beast employee, if I cannot understand it properly, then im sure some employees also struggled
First of all, the opening paragraph. Like I get it's supposed to be like, to put people at ease, but
This is so strange? Like, first of all, this is your EMPLOYEE MANUAL, you should have run it through like, a spell check? Or had someone edit it? This is already incredibly unprofessional. Also the promising of a thousand dollars if you pass a quiz on it? It's bizarre and I'd love to see if it's an actual quiz.
Jimmy, hun, please god get an editor for this you're already trying my patience.
YOU SHOULD, you genuinely should, while interconnected these are all COMPLETELY different jobs, if you think you could write a separate manual for each branch you SHOULD
I'm sure I'm about to get an answer but what the fuck is the best YOUTUBE video then? If it's not comedy, its not production, its not quality, its not look, then what the hell is left? (monetization, it's monetization)
First of all, Jimmy, why are you using internet lingo in this, it's not a text message, this is not a place for, idc, and lol, and not capitalizing your headers correctly??? Also like I said, he's chasing trends for monetization, and also he's just wrong, there are plenty of hollywood level shows and the like on youtube. You fully admit you do not care about trends and actively rush things?
This is just fucked??? Like of COURSE IT MATTERS??? Results based company is bullshit, your employees that worked for five weeks and failed aren't "lesser" then James, it's a structural failure! They still worked for HOURS to try and succeed?? That shows merit and loyalty??? What the fuck???
Rosanna covers this one in her video but it's worth restating that this is FUCKED??? It's clear overwork "your job is your family" culture. Especially the use of the word obsessive? If you do not OBSESS over your work, you are considered poisonous. NO WONDER we have so many reports of employees doing things they feel is dangerous or unsafe, if they don't they're considered POISON to the company.
The formatting in this doc continues to fucking kill me, what are you DOING man GET AN EDITOR
This feels like such an easy fix of just...make the thumbnail after the fact? Or only make a rough draft of one first? Like if production makes a red bouncy castle instead of a yellow one, that feels like an easy fix to the thumbnail OR a communication error, and again, that's on management
A lot of the next stuff is like analytics stuff that for the most part I can't really speak on as someone who does not do any of this stuff. There are a few things though
Which like???? what??? a lull??? what do you mean "watching a video without even realizing they are watching a video??" That doesn't scream good or even mediocre content to me. If I'm actively tuning out as I watch a video, that's bad. Especially because there have been plenty of times I've been like half way through a video i go "hey this sucks actually" and click off. They actively want their audience to not be paying attention to the video so it runs all the way through, that's kinda pathetic.
I don't actually know if this is common or not in this industry, but as an outsider this seems INCREDIBLY micromanaging to me, to an immense degree.
Jimmy why are you putting swears in your employee manual?? sir??? and also something about this whole thing icks me out, I don't quite have the words but the whole emphasis on "im different im special no one else can be me" just reeks of something kind of manipulative
Why is production changing so much Jimmy??? Infinite growth is the mindset of a cancer cell Jimmy! This is incredibly unstable working conditions! Also again with the word obsession, if you take time out of your own day on your own time to watch hulu, that's seen as not being obsessed enough for the company. This is nonsensical!
Again, this is INSANELY micromanaging, and also so fucking unhinged??? "God himself couldn't stop you from making this video on time" is NOT a healthy work mindset, things HAPPEN!!!
In this segment he's actually talking normal things but I did just want to highlight his use of "freaken" who the hell puts that in an EMPLOYEE MANUEL
Again with the micromanaging, and the immense pressure on employees for problems OTHER people do. While he's not fully wrong that you should be in more contact with the contractor then the example, this is too much in the other direction. How much time in the day does he think people have?!
My kingdom for a fucking paragraph break dude, my fucking eyes. Also this is a lot of "im so great and do everything and you should do more for me and if i dont know something that's your fault" for something titled "I am not always right"
I'm getting lazy with my highlighting, but again, the micromanaging? If you're SOOO busy, the first question should be the ideal? it's quick and makes a quick decision, while the second one meanders and meanders
Again, Jimmy is pushing blame for HIS mistakes on OTHER PEOPLE. For again, a section called "i am not always right" hes taking NO accountability for that and just making the SAME excuses he's berating in other places.
I can't even tell what he means here AN EDITOR JIMMY
Autism Hell tm, PLEASE email me so I can DOUBLE CHECK IT, things in writing are SO useful
Again the language towards "C-Players" which as mr beast has said, are the people who y'know, are NORMAL employees who DON'T live and breathe this company
Okay first of all, a Lamborghini is like 300k so that's already A REALLY hard task, and i sure hope don't usually put typos in the tasks. SECOND of all the fact he thinks its okay to go "hey if the studio is literally on fire around you and you stop working to get the Lamborghini, you're not doing good enough" even if he claims it as a joke is NOT OKAY what the FUCK
We've covered this before, but to reiterate this segment is named after a sexual assault reference when it could have been named ANYTHING ELSE and harasses employees and pressures them to break rules, don't do that.
I'm not an editor, so maybe this is normal, but as someone from the outside it seems strange to put this much emphasis on dividing focus between so many videos at once.
Jimmy, hun, are you paying extra for this? Because if I'm an editor and you want me FILMING stuff then i want to be paid more for doing TWO jobs and I probably still wont be as skilled a TRAINED CAMERA MAN
First of all now THAT'S a type, consteatants. Also the fact they are aware that leaving contestants out in the sun is bad, why are you not doing MORE TO STOP IT BEYOND "hey maybe giving them three hours of heatstroke is bad, try only two next time"
Don't we love favoritism, more shitty unprofessional writings, and a completely unstable work environment?
If your people have to pull all nighters period something is wrong, and if something happens to an employees car that could have seriously hurt someone, i sure hope you care more then just "LOL FUNNY" Who's picking up the broken glass? Who's reimbursing the car owner? That one meme of "your first care should be commitment to the bit" is a MEME jimmy, it's not ACTUAL ADVICE
Ah shit I hit image limit, well, you've seen enough screenshots to know these are screenshots, we're almost done I'll put them in as quotes
"Let’s say you are tasked with finding us a castle to live in for 50 hours and while doing research you find a castle and a number to call for the owner. So you do call, and he answers. Only problem is he says he quit the castle renting business to pursue his dream of building a 100 foot tall lego catapult. You can obviously tell where i’m going with this. Ideally you’d recognize that’s badass as fuck and try to convince him to let us use it when we do find a castle. This is a bad example because it’s so obvious but if you’re doing your job right you will be doing an absurd amounts of calls and data collecting. While trying to complete your prios and prepare for the video you should always be on the lookout for new things you can bring to your creative team to inspire them. Because just like me, they don’t know what they don’t know and you can’t just say “i’m in production and i’m not very creative” because that’s literally the equivalent of saying I suck at what I do. You also need to apply this same mindset when problem solving because many people lose sight of this stuff when in the weeds. If a problem appears, always always always ask yourself if your new plan is whats best for creative, not just the easiest bandaid."
First of all it's really funny seeing all the red lines pop up, second of all this insistent blurring of everyone's job seems so strange? Again maybe this is normal, but it really feels like Jimmy wants everyone working every job, instead on focusing on what they are actually hired to do.
"What is the goal of our content?
To excite me. The goal of our content is to excite me. That may sound weird to some of you, especially if you’re new but to me it’s what’s most important. If I'm not excited to get in front of that camera and film the video, it’s just simply not going to happen."
That's fucking weirddddd, like I get that he's trying to be like "im authentic" but it always feels like a bad sign when the goal of a company is literally just "What amuses the boss" like...bad sign
"this is youtube and there are constraints. You know the video can’t be a minute so you’re obviously going to need a story to hold the viewers and there are rules to storytelling. Our audience is massive and because of that you have to be simple, for 50 million people to understand something it must be simple. Content can be anything but there is structure and rules that we must mold it into that I want to teach you about, because virality doesn’t just happen. Every frame of our videos will be seen by 10s of millions of people"
Gross
"I'd say the average MrBeast viewer is a teenage memer that likes video games."
Mr Beast is completely aware of his demographic and puts screen shots of it, he is very aware his stuff is aimed at kids, even when its about gambling or hiring people not around near minors
"I feel silly for having to write this but all the time I talk to 32 new people that have at most seen like 5 or 6 of our videos and it’s mind blowing that they don’t see a problem with that lol."
It's almost like your audience is teenage memer and that people who working here are not in fact, teenage memers.
"What you consume on social media, when you watch youtube, tv, the games you play, etc. are what I like to call your information diet.
How do you stay up to date on the latest memes? How do you know what’s going on with celebrities? What’s trending on youtube? What other creators are doing? What’s popping on tik tok? Your information diet. Consume things on a daily basis that help you write better content."
If my job as a creative writer had my boss tell me to have to see whats "popping on tik tok" as part of my job i'd quit also again, the micromanaging of someone's life as well pops up again, it's weirddd
"It’s okay for the boys to be childish
If talent wants to draw a dick on the white board in the video or do something stupid, let them. (assuming they know all the risks and arn’t missing context on why it’s not safe) People like when we are in our natural element of stupidity. Really do everything you can to empower the boys when filming and help them make content. Help them be idiots"
More favoritism
"If you’ve made it this far you are probably at least semi interested in this being your career. So I wanted to chat about it. Because if you're ambitious and want to dedicate your life to work, you picked the best company in America to do it at. I really don’t care to hoard a bunch of money and I deeply believe in rewarding the people that help this business get where it needs to be. But before I get into that, let’s talk about the future. As I write this we have 2 teams, that will grow to 4 in the next year. (and possibly 8 in the next 2 years but I can’t talk about that cause james will kill me haha). We need more leaders in the company. Weneed hard working, obsessive, coachable, intelligent, grinders that can step up and take some of these leadership spots over the next 2 years. Every single department has an opportunity for you to grow in and you’re in luck because we don’t do yearly reviews. We do whenever the fuck you want reviewes"
Lack of communication from management, and more emphasis on grinding and crunch culture, goodie, all while riddled with typos! God.
"I see a world where this company is worth billions and one day 10s of billions. And those of you that help build this will be rewarded. I want nothing more then for you to go all in, obsessive all day everyday, and become so god dam valuable this company can’t operate without you. And in return for becoming so valuable I hope to give you incredible experiences, a fun place to work, and of course, more money then you could ever dream of making at any other company."
I feel like I'm reading a fucking pyramid scheme document here, "youre so so valuable spend literally every minute of every day on this company haha" good GOD man
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Tee…
I’m now on my hands and knees BEGGING for bully Gojo who is (secretly) DISGUSTINGLY IN LOVE over the reader PLEASE ANY CRUMBS I WILL TAKE
(you don’t actually have to write this it was just a nice thought)
idkkkkk if it’s rly bully gojo—but he’s definitely a real cunt for sure.
i just think about an asshole! gojo a lot like he’s ur lab partners or something and he does that stereotypical jerk move where he’s like “seriously ?? her ??” when he’s first paired with you. and he’s just naturally an douche, yk ?? wears sunglasses indoors and makes jokes at the professors expense under his breath that gets him snickers and snorts from his frat guys in his class. has to be asked more than once to “please keep it down in the middle of class” by wtv prof he’s in class with.
and he ofc makes u do all the work bc he can’t be bothered—and on the rare occasion that he is bothered, he just does a poor job that’s the bare minimum and sloppy enough that ur like wtv i’ll just do it myself. and then ofc sometimes u don’t have a choice but to meet up to finish something after class every now and then—he wouldn’t care to, but he actually needs to know the stuff for the final report he has to write individually, so he begrudgingly meets up with you, and sometimes you notice his friends give you an amused look when he walks up with them. they snicker before they leave as he sits with you. sometimes they make a snide comment here and there like “have fun with ur super hot date” that makes him roll his eyes—he doesn’t do much to hide the look of distaste on his face.
but then—and he doesn’t even know when it happens—you start to slowly grow on him. because ur actually pretty snarky urself, sometimes making a dry comment here and there about the professor and his stupid bald headed self. sometimes a girl in the distance laughs too hard a group of guys that u roll ur eyes and mumble how “if i had a voice like that i’d never laugh in public” and it makes him snort a bit without meaning to. sometimes you stare daggers at the person who has their music so loud thru their headphones they can’t help but notice u and turn it down in embarrassment. ur actually not as much of a pushover as he thought—you just genuinely think he’s too incapable to help u out that you’ve just shrugged him off and started doing his part. it’s an easy weekly lab class anyway, you don’t need him—and then he realizes that u rly just don’t care for him. his little snickers at u with his friends and their snide comments roll off ur back bc well…he’s him—an asshole little frat boy and u didn’t expect anything better from him. so it makes him a little intrigued—maybe a little wounded in his pride, deep down, because no one has ever been indifferent to him before. they’re either madly in love, or they hate his guts, or they follow his lead. either works—he still gets the attention he craves.
but u just don’t rly care. and ur actually pretty cool, and kinda sorta funny in a way no one else is. he likes it…and fuck, now he’s starting to like you. he can tell bc when his friends ask how his little date with you went, he starts getting a bit huffy ab it bc they don’t need to talk about you. they don’t even know you…but also….its not a date. and that’s the worst part. sometimes it feels like a date. almost—sometimes you both decide to take a break in between and go get a coffee or a light snack. sometimes he’s even paid (to which you look mildly shocked before politely thanking him) and you both walk back to the library while u make light banter and it’s…well, fun. and nice. and your laugh is pretty. and your smile is kinda cute and he (though he hates to admit it) rly likes it when u laugh because of him.
and then things start to get messy—really, he didn’t mean for it to start this way. he really was meaning to ask you in a genuine manner to see u again once the semester was finished. because he’s actually started pulling his weight—he wants u to see him for someone who’s smart. satoru is actually rly rly smart and no one knows it because he doesn’t rly show it but he is. he wants u to see that side of him—somehow there’s some sick validation he rly needs from you knowing he’s not a dense frat guy who drinks and fucks until 3 am every night. so he starts doing his parts and actually communicates with u about sections. so starts ur texting routine—sometimes a little longer than u rly need to for just doing a lab together. sometimes it’s “did u hear ab that girl in our class getting dumped in front of the kfc ??” and sometimes it’s “god our prof rly needs to get some pussy” and other times it’s “look what the guy who sits behind us just posted on his story” and it leads to a few long convos that admittedly…are rly fun. ur so fun. he likes it. he rly does like u and he thinks maybe….maybe he’s grown on u too and you know what ?? satoru’s always a jerk but ur nice and who’s to say he can’t be nice too ?? just for one person. for u, he can be a nice guy—u carried lab all on ur own long enough that u deserve it anyway.
until he gets swayed in that way only a coward can. in that way you do when ur used to being “the man” around ur friends and ur too pressured to keep up that energy for appearances sake bc u don’t wanna be the laughing stock who softened up for “some nerdy chick who’s a nobody.” so he laughs when they laugh at the fact that ur probably “still a virgin who’s never touched a guy before” and then they’re patting gojo on the back and shoving at his shoulder as they laugh harder and suggest that “y’know what would be so funny man ?? if u took her virginity. you could probably do it.”
the thought is sickening because…satoru wouldn’t want to fuck you like that. god, you have him caring about when and how he fucks you—in fact, just thinking about you lewdly makes him feel guilty. disrespectful, even. you’re more than a fleshlight for his dick. since when did he become so respectful ?? but he doesn’t know how to say no, especially when everyone starts agreeing one after the other—and oh no, now they’re betting on how quickly he can do it….and oh, now it’s not just fucking. now it’s “how long until you think she’s head over heels for you? man, that would be a sight, huh ??”
and….well, satoru decides it couldn’t hurt, right ?? he does want to be romantically involved so that would include you being head over heels. hopefully. fingers crossed. and he doesn’t rly want to seem lame in front of the guys either, so he gets to keep both sides of the coin, so is it really that bad ?? maybe not the right idea but certainly the right execution. he’ll treat you well—that much he’s confident of. so he forces out a laugh and says “gimme a month or two, you’ll see.”
and a month or two they give him. and a month or two it takes—but not for you to be head over heels. it’s him who’s utterly and completely obsessed and fallen head first and whatever else they say to describe love because wow. this must be what it is. this must be that stupid fairytale shit they always talk about because fuck, no one has ever looked at him like that. like he’s some miracle to this earth and some wonder only you know of—like you hope it stays that way and that he’s yours and yours alone and no one else comes in to take him away. satoru really likes being yours, it kinda feels better than you being his. being yours means you hold him like that at night and wake him up to a kiss between his brows and sometimes, when he gets those migraines he’s prone to getting, you always seem to know. always seem to understand when to close the blinds and keep quiet and wrap him up in the covers as you rub your thumbs over his temples soothingly.
he almost forgets about that silly little bet he made two months ago when he’s around you. actually, he forgets everything when he’s around you. he’s only ever thinking about you, you, you. when he comes back to his frat house, on the other hand, they’re all gathered around waiting for the newest details. how you must’ve been so pathetically star struck by him. how you must be embarrassingly bad at kissing. how you must stutter over every other word around him. how you must be making a complete and utter fool of urself trying to impress him and be someone you’re not bc the real you would never pique his interest.
they’re wrong ofc. if anyone’s star struck, it’s satoru bc how the hell are u so…cool ?? and so funny and witty and carefree ?? and you’re good at kissing—have him chasing your lips with a whine every time. sometimes you even chuckle at him when he does and make him blush a bit. he’s the one who stutters over his words when he sees you in your little date night outfits. sometimes he watches you drink from your straw and his brain short circuits a little until you snap at him and ask him in confusion if he’s alright. but the real kicker ?? it’s that if anyone’s pretending, it’s satoru. you’re always just you—unapologetically so, that it’s endearing and beautiful and so unearthly he wonders how he got so lucky. but him ?? he’s always acting like some guy he’s not. some chivalrous guy who opens doors and pushes out seats and kisses the back of hands and waits at least a few dates before even considering fucking. some nice, sweet, genuine guy who’s deserving.
he’s not that—never was. if you knew the real him, you’d leave in a heartbeat. it’s a scary thought. a raw feeling he doesn’t like. makes him feel all self conscious and insecure and all that weird shit he never thought he’d feel.
he tries. so hard, he tries to make them forget about that silly little bet and just slowly drop it and maybe even forget ur dating so he can just stay living this peaceful little fantasy with you—but that’s stupid. that’s naive. it’s been 4 months and enough is enough—the guys need to see the look on ur face when u realize what a fool ur being and satoru is “being a lazy ass who’s too comfortable not having for work for pussy these days.” so then there’s a video going around. it’s everyone gathered around on the couch drunk and talking about you. and satoru. you both, in fact. how it’s been two months and u seem desperate for his attention with the shrill little voice you use to call him toru, baby! it’s so, so fucking embarrassing, they say. how you think he likes it. (he does. god he does so much, it hurts. he loves it, actually, when you call him that. makes him feel special in a way he never has.) but then, the worst, most disgustingly nauseous part of the whole thing is when satoru laughs along and plays into their awful words. just lets them talk about you like you’re some piece of meat. something for him to chew up and spit out after he has a taste or you. not even worth savoring and enjoying. he laughs along and agrees—you’re nothing special and he can’t wait until he’s free of you.
that part hurts. that part sucks the most—when he acts like he didn’t tremble under your touch every time you kissed him. like he didn’t beg you to stay just five more minutes! before walking out the door to go home. he acts one way in front of you and one way in front of them and what’s worse ?? you don’t know which one is real. couldn’t tell even if your life was on the line to decide. because there’s no way he’s that good at pretending to be desperately in love, no fucking way. but there’s also no way he can be in love if he’s talking about you like that. that’s not what love is—that’s not what love feels like. that’s not what it means to someone.
you don’t know which satoru is the real one, but you know that neither is worth your time. not if he can’t stick to it.
it’s terrible thing—the way you break up. it’s messy and teary and he’s begging, he’s actually begging. he never thought he’d do that. but he doesn’t even hesitate to plead for you to hear him out. baby, please let me explain. wait, please don’t walk away—please just listen! i can explain.
he can’t explain, though when you as him to. stands there with a bitten bottom lip and teary eyes that are pleading you to just stay with him. to overlook this and just … ignore it like it’s nothing. like what he did and said was just nothing and you can shrug it off like you’re nothing too. like your feelings are nothing and so is your worth and that’s why you should just ignore the way he absolutely destroyed your pride and reputation and dignity and worse….every ounce of your love.
such deep, raw, pure love—it’s almost enough to heal every dry crack and crevice of this earth and bring it back to life.
you look at him with teary eyes and something so broken, it makes him feel like dirt beneath your feet.
“it’s embarrassing, satoru,” you hiss that night through tears, “you’re in your twenties getting a degree and you’re still just a high school bully. life’s really gonna kick you in the ass some day.”
life’s already kicking him in the ass as soon as you walk out. the air is colder. the world is dimmer. food doesn’t taste as good and fuck—there is just so much loneliness when you have no one to be yourself with. when there’s no you.
but he supposes you’re right though—he is just a bully. it’s pathetic, really. and maybe it’s for the best. maybe you don’t deserve someone who’s only ever known how to feel good because someone else doesn’t.
#bye#this is so obnoxiously long for a silly little jumble of thoughts#maybe i’ll flesh it out and make it an actual fic tho#bully! gojo tag
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