#TEN BILLION WINK ATTACKS!!

[athina-blaine]

😉✨

(via @sunnyirry and @scpcatghost)

[peachdues]

DYLANNN. DYLAN NO. DYLANNNN.

“Who owns it?”

Kaigaku shrugs. “Some overseas corporation. They made their billions selling weapons to armed militias and underground groups in other countries that then took power.”

Uzui whistles through his teeth. “Ain’t that how it always goes?”  

The dark-haired boy nods. “Seems like they’ve got storage all over the place – mainly in countries they know won’t sanction ‘em even if the regimes they arm turn out to be shit.”

“Or pay to keep their own fat cats in power.” Sanemi quips darkly.

Kaigaku flashes him a sly grin. “We oughta help lighten their load a bit. Gotta be hard to keep track of all that steel.”

Sanemi doesn’t return the boy’s smile, too off-put by the way his teeth seem rounded and sharp in the dingy light of the basement. “Place like this has to be teeming with security. How’re we supposed to get in unseen? Or at least enough that we can neutralize any interference?”

Kaigaku leans forward and shuffles through the blueprints until he pulls out an old, water-stained sheet. “According to the old building plans, there’s a basement. That’s probably where they keep the bulk of the goods.”

He runs a finger along a sketched path. “This is a delivery channel – it’s like an underground tunnel that runs up. Connects to an emergency exit. A truck could back up to it, and someone can run crates. Load it right into the back.”

Sanemi studies the blueprint for a long while, his eyes looking for any obstacles, any potential flaw that could leave them open to attack. But, he finds that as loathe as he is to admit it, the boy’s plan is surprisingly sound.

If at least two or three of their ranks could work the basement, then they could conceivably fill up a truck with the loot and slip out without being caught. And even if they were, by Kaigaku’s own intel, the security wouldn’t be nearly as tight as it might be if the warehouse was fully operational.  

Really, the benefits outweighed whatever marginal risk there was. And, judging by the increase in violence from the Kizukis, the Corps would need all the extra metal they could get their hands on to prepare for the inevitable war that loomed on the blooded horizon.  

Sanemi turns his attention to his junior. “Tell Iguro we need a cab. Whatever they’ve got in storage, clean it out. If you think you can’t split away clean, take a handful of Kinoe and get them to put down as much C4 in the basement as we can take. Get out and send that shack sky-high.”

“Big boom like that will have the place swarming with cops in no time.” Uzui points out. “You’ll have to be quick – I give you ten minutes, tops. Probably less.”

“But an explosion will cover up any trace of us.” Sanemi counters. “Plus, a warehouse stuffed full of live ammo? Not beyond the realm of possibility that it’s holding explosives in there, too. Could look like an unavoidable accident.”

“What about cover?” A dark-haired Junior speaks up, voice shaking, but eyes determined.

Sanemi turns to Kaigaku. “Will we need a sniper?”

The boy chews on his bottom lip for a moment as his eyes scan the blueprints scattered across the table. “Nah,” he decides after a moment. “That warehouse has been gatherin’ dust for at least a year. Security guards likely will be armed, but they won’t have nothin’ more powerful than a handgun. Should be easy enough to take out, if it comes to it.”

Sanemi cuts his eyes back to the two Juniors. “One Pillar should go. This seems too big a job to leave to a bunch of rookies.”

Uzui raises an eyebrow. “You volunteering?”

“Your ass sure as shit won’t. Not on a Friday night.”  

The silver-haired Pillar taps a single finger to his nose and winks. “And it’ll be payday for the Business District. My joints are gonna be full of big spenders.”

“Then I guess I’m on.” Sanemi says smoothly, folding his arms across his chest. “We’ll meet here Friday evening. Ten o’clock.”

🤐🤐🤐

[moveslikejaggeria]

tumblr deleted the end of my post and i have Know idea what my mad ramblings were but i lied when i said that was just the first half. that was the majority because we only have four episodes left and three of them are the finale. i will recover my rant about martha in a second.

episode ten: i have ranted and raved about the daleks but my least favorite reoccurring doctor who antagonist by a long shot is those bloody weeping angels. why? because “don’t blink” is such stupid advice. here is my advice alright: wink. always keep one eye open but close the other so it doesnt dry out and get irritated. because eventually you are gonna fuck up and blink. its inevitable. im so smart

otherwise this is a really cool episode. what a panic attack i would have if i would keep getting visited by people in my life but they’ve suddenly aged fifty to a hundred years. bizarre. and Whoo, that lady who got stuck in 1920 sure made the best of it, but world war ii is coming, flu outbreak, the great depression, not to mention the lack of modern medicine and Birth control. could she vote? jeez

another problem i have is like. the doctor sacrifices all these people to save himself. you see, timelines or whatever, he could’ve gone back and saved them at some point. sure, he can’t go back to the exact timepoint, but goodheroesdeservekidneys is right: why can’t he go back a year after that? ignoring time laws (which the doctor points out and the does the exact same), he needs them there to pass on notes and stuff to rescue himself and martha. and if he went back and saved them, there would be no notes to pass on and thus we are stuck in an endless loop. does This make any sense?

episode eleven: im separating this one out because it’s part of the finale and not; it sets up the finale beautiful. also this episode is good while the finale is shite. you see the Eh season had no choice but to go out with a whimper rather than a bang; that’s impossible.

captain jack harkness is back!! that’s right: he’s a man who can’t die. and the doctor is mean to him because that’s “”weird”” or whatever. when rose was holding the time vortex or heart of the tardis or whatever, she brought him back to life but brought him back to life forever, or something. it’s interesting. but there’s an emotional moment between jack and the doctor where he asks jack if jack wants to die, and jack doesn’t know. but seeing humanity at the end of the world inspires him.

oh yes!! we are at the end of the universe!! everything collapses in and such. humans are here though, which is inspiring and sad. here, there’s a professor and his assistant trying to help the humans reach “Utopia” and so naturally the doctor steps in to help. and remember how that two part was plot important?? well this professor guy has got a pocket watch that looks exactly like the doctor’s from back then, and he’s also acting weird since the doctor showed up. and the tardis

turns out the professor is the master!! he opens the watch, regains his timelord consciousness, and goes on a killing spree. the doctor and gang race back to stop him—the doctor realizing who the professor truly is—but it’s too late! the master has stolen the tardis. the assistant, who the master shot, shoots him back and the master regenerates. the doctor gets in just in time to witness the regeneration but can’t do much else. the master starts to rush off, but the doctor locks the tardis so that she can only visit where it is right now (the year fifty billion) and the last place it was (2007, give or take). he runs off regardless, leaving the doctor and gang stranded. alas

episode twelve and thirteen: ooo unlucky number. that is because—as i stated before—this finale sucks balls. not even balls. it sucks the fingers of a man who just scratched his sweaty, hairy balls (sorry). of course doctor and gang escape using jack’s time vortex manipulator. they get back to london, 21st century, and realize the master has become the prime minister (dun dun duhhhhhhh)

jack has been working for torchwood (queue spinoff music or whatever. i have not seen torchwood, but should i?? im not a big spinoff person) but magically they have all disappeared. the actor who plays regenerated master is So good. in a creepy way, but a creepy good way. yada yada yada, martha’s family gets kidnapped and the doctor and gang manage to get on the spaceship the master is one. you see he is welcoming peaceful aliens to earth but the american president is like “nuh uh uh, i get to do that” but then the spheres (the claimed aliens, but they’re not actually aliens) assassinate him on tv and the master reveals his plan.

when the doctor and gang are on the ship, they find the tardis, but it has been turned into a paradox machine. IMPORTANTLY, the doctor can’t do anything about it until he knows what it’s meant to do because otherwise he could explode the galaxy or whatever. store this information in your brain. the gang gets caught, the master rapidly ages the doctor 100 years and so david tennant is old now. the master is like “the girl and the freak. but who is who” about martha and jack and i laughed bc Homophobia (i mean, poor jack. he’s from the future where people don’t really care anymore [except for cat people i suppose] and he has to put up with this?) but in what way is martha a freak?? bc she’s black? a female doctor? what. weird. the master constantly kills jack so he comes back to life and they do this over and over again, but martha escapes.

let’s see. it’s a year later martha is pretending to assemble this gun and she meets this cool old lady and they kill and dissect a sphere together. it turns out that the spheres are made from those humans from the end of the universe. there was no utopia and so they got turned into spheres ig. the paradox machine is there and essential because if the human race goes back and time to kill itself, then who goes on billions of years later to become the sphere who do the killing?? does any of this make sense, because i promise it does. the cool old lady reports martha to the master to get her son back and so the master takes her back to the ship.

in this time, the master stopped regeneration or whatever so that the doctor actually looks his age of 900 and God Damn are the effects god awful. there’s a little dwarf gnome davis tennant and it’s Terrible. the doctor seems to have something he wants to tell the master, but the master won’t have it. martha’s here now and here comes the good part—the heartwarming part—where i went “really?? this is what they went with?” (the beautiful thing about writing, and the Lovely thing about writing science fiction or fantasy, is that you get to really do whatever you want. Within Reason)

the master destroys the gun and martha is like “really?? you think this gun really exists “ and the doctor is like “like i would ask her to kill” bc he’s a pacifist and all and then martha’s like “dont you wanna know what i spent a year doing?” and get ready folks. she went around telling stories of the doctor so that they would all think about him at this exact time at this exact date, and they do it (like they have much better to do during the apocalypse) and then the doctor starts Floating. with a Force Field around him. and he reverts back to Normal David Tennant and that thing he wanted to say? he tells the master that he forgives him. whatever

jack escapes and remember that thing i told you to remember? yeah? he goes guns blazing into the tardis and just shoots the paradox machine. and then time goes backwards exactly one year and a day. so why didn’t they do that before?? they didn’t know they could just shoot it? and then the doctor is ready to take the master prisoner when the master’s wife shoots him and he refuses to regenerate (which is something a time lord can do i gues???) and he dies in the doctors arms. and the doctor Burns his body. but don’t worry, the master comes back later, not regenerated. so…how this happened i dont know.

the wise is made out to be completely and utterly loyal to the master so this seems really random, but upon second watch, perhaps she was just afraid the whole time?? maybe she was just compliant out of fear? but then why did she marry him?? ig it depends on when the master revealed his true self to her. weird

everything is back to normal and i cant remember if jack comes back. maybe in the next season finale??? its revealed that jack is/will become the face of boe which is so stupid because the face of boe was pregnant!!! multiple times!! so unless jack has a uterus or acquires one. and then they reference Boe Kind, which implies that there are other boes, like a species. his children perhaps?? so stupid. seems like such a bandaid explanation on an absolute gaping and squirting gash. whatever

martha refuses to continue traveling with the doctor partially to help her family recover (no one else remembers the Year That Didn’t Happen or whatever, but doctor and gang and martha’s family do because they were “in the eye of the storm”. whatever) but also because she is tired of having a crush on the doctor (its also revealed that jack has a crush on the doctor??? maybe i should watch torthwood…) and wants to move on. good on martha

you see the reason why i didn’t like martha’s character the first time round is because she is so weakened by her crush on the doctor. the doctor is recovering from rose, the fact that he’s never gonna see her again, and he’s bot looking for a rebound. but martha seems to be head over heels for the doctor but also simultaneously a smart, clever, badass medical professional. it sort of undermines everything. and the whole time i was screaming “YOU DESERVE BETTER!!! LET HIM GO” and she finally does. and the doctor doesnt even seem to care other than the loss of companionship. because even when martha Demands respect or friendship from the doctor, all she gets is pity emotion. she gets the bare minimum friendship from him. always compared to rose and never able to live up to her. although to be fair, how do you live up to billie piper and rose tyler?? (donna noble, that’s how!! but we gotta wait one more christmas special. hehehehehe)

it’s a shortened analysis of martha’s character but it’ll have to do. she’ll be back anyway for next season finale (as will mickey, rose, and jack?? possibly). in fact, she starts dating mickey i believe. weird. i’m glad they didn’t get rid of her entirely and she finally stood up for herself and did what’s best. she really really deserved a better season and better character writing

i have been inspired by @becausegoodheroesdeservekidneys to rewatch Doctor Who because I find their chronological journey endlessly intriguing and endearing and has reminded me of my favorite episodes

going into it i have to say that my favorite doctors probably go 10-9-12-11 (even though im aware they’ve messed a bit with the numerics?? i mean tennant-eccleston-capaldi-smith) and my favorite companion by far is donna. her relationship and banter with the doctor is So perfect (esp post rose). rose is always great and she is an excellent foil to both 9 and 10. martha wouldve been so good!! if not for her crush on the doctor!! ruins her character and im so glad she eventually moves on and fulfills her badass-ery (although im not pleased it was the military -_-). amy was…i think a wet sock is truly a great description and rory is…worse. i think they did clara just as dirty as martha and i remember disliking her, but i dont remember much or why so maybe its just bc she was so poorly utilized. and bill. bill my beloved. she, too, deserved so much better.

anyway i watched episode one and. eccleston’s doctor is meaner than i remember. i think he needs more time to warm up to rose. and the reason i didnt like mickey is bc. he is useless and also treats rose poorly (which i think he improves as the series continues but, he is Awful in this episode). there are so many episodes i vaguely remember and get so excited to watch again!!

[ohtheseboysilove]

Omg I LOVE your Christmas/winter prompts!!! It's sooo hard to choose!! How about a mix of 44 and 57 with Roger? Thanks!!! 😍😘💞

44. i’m the friend who is constantly cold and you’re the friend who is constantly hot so you offer to snuggle with me when the power goes out.

+

57. you called me at two in the morning insisting that I come over and help you bake Christmas cookies for the party tomorrow because you forgot to make them earlier and now need help

1604 words. Mostly fluff.

Roger blinked few times, his lashes heavy with sleep but the loud and awful ringtone from his phone had wake him up just several seconds before. He groaned and checked the time on his watch — 2 a.m — before making his way lazily toward the kitchen, grabbing blindly the phone.

"Yeah ?" He mumbled, leaning his body against the kitchen counter, fingers rubbing against his tired eyes.

"Rog ? Hi, I’m so sorry I woke you" Roger immediacy straightened his posture at the sound of you voice. Worries immediately bubbling inside his tummy.

"Everything alright, sunshine ?"

"Not at all ! I’m so stupid Rog, oh god" You whined through the phone and the drummer was already checking where he put his car keys, ready to go pick you up wherever you were. "I’m in so much trouble"

"Are you hurt ? Did someone touch you ?" He barked worriedly, grabbing his jacket and sliding awkwardly a sleeve one, keeping the phone pressing against his ear. "Where are you ? I’m coming as soon as I can !"

"What ? Oh, no Rog ! I’m alright ! I didn’t mean to worry you !" Roger put a hand on his chest, feeling his heart going crazy inside the rib cage. He wasn’t sure if it was from only listening to your voice or from the heart attack you almost gave him. "I’m fine, I’m fine ! I just...it’s stupid, I shouldn’t have rang you for that"

The drummer took a deep breath, seating back on the stool, breathing easier. You were okay.

"Well it’s a bit late for regrets, sunshine" Roger joked and rubbed a hand on his face, trying to make the tiredness go away.

"Tomorrow it’s Christmas dinner at Freddie’s, right ?" You asked with an anxious voice.

"Well, yes. What about that ?" The blond scratched his shoulder, not understanding what could be the problem.

"I forgot it was tomorrow" Your cried with desperation. "I thought it was on Thursday not Tuesday. I just checked my calendar and I was wrong" You complained childishly.

"So what ? You remembered in time, it’s alright, sunshine"

“Rog, I’m supposed to bring the Christmas cookies for dinner time tomorrow ! I thought I had all Wednesday to bake them but I don’t" The drummer cursed loudly as he realised the problem. "Can...can you come and help me, please ?" You questioned with a timid voice, he probably had better things to do, like sleep for example.

"Now ? At 2 in the morning ?" Roger exclaimed, his voice going in a high pitching tone.

"It’s alright, forget it. I’m gonna manage by myself" You felt your cheeks burnt with embarrassment. "Sorry I woke you up, see you at dinner, Rog" You hung up quickly and sighed loudly, already feeling exhausting from the cooking which was waiting for you.

**

You wanted to cry. You had been making cooking dough for the past forty minutes, arms sore from the same gestures and honestly you felt desperate. You were a baker for god’ sake ! But right now, all by yourself in your little bakery, at three in the morning you just wanted to lay on the floor and cry your balls out.

A loud knock on the front door of your shop made your jump and you cursed loudly, heart beating heavily in your chest. You quickly walked to the door and frowned your brows, trying to see something in the dark night.

"It’s me, sunshine ! My balls are about to turn blue, it’s fucking freezing out here !"

You unlocked the door and let the drummer jumped inside, his hands rubbing together in a poor attempt to get warmer.

"Rog ? What— what are you doing here ?" You asked, incredulous.

"What do you think I’m doing silly ? Helping you ! Is it not why you called me an hour ago ?" He winked at you and grabbed an apron, knotting it around his waist.

"But...I didn’t think you were actually coming" You blushed, suddenly remembering how messy you must look with floor and eggs in your hairs and face, probably sweating because of the industrial ovens. "You didn’t have too" You tried to straightened your wild hairs discretely.

"Nonsense, sunshine, I wanna help" He smiled and you smiled back, both of your stomachs filled with excited butterflies.

**

"And we are done !" You cried with pure joy when you took out the last tray of cookies.

The kitchen of your bakery was covered in cookies plates, a delicious smell floating around the shop. It was almost nine in the morning and you were finally done, well almost. You still had to do the frosting and Christmas decorations on it but you could do that later. For now, you only needed a good shower and a few hours of sleep.

"Bloody hell, I can’t believe we made it" Roger sighed and stretched his arms lazily before popping his joints loudly. "I’m complete knackered"

"Me too" You wiped the rest of dough covering your hands on your apron before tossing it somewhere. Laundry could definitively wait. "Come on, let’s go upstairs"

Roger followed you with a little yawn, rubbing his sleepy eyes. Thankfully you were renting the little flat right above your shop, making it easier to work early in the morning.

"I’m gonna take a quick shower, get yourself comfortable" You murmured even if you weren’t sure why. Probably because everyone was completely exhausted. "And you’re taking my bed" You added before disappearing behind the bathroom door, ignoring his complains.

Ten little minutes later, you were exiting the bathroom in a comfy pyjama and found Roger snoring lightly under the cover of your bed. You smiled fondly and couldn’t resist to softly tuck him correctly. You gasped loudly when he caught your wrist, opening with difficulty his eyes.

"I thought you were asleep !" You whispered-shouted.

"I was. You just bloody loud" You blushed again and he grinned at your slight embarrassment. You closed the heavy curtains above your bed with only one hand as Roger didn’t let you go, practically shoving you on the bed, next to him. "We aren’t teenagers, we can’t sleep in the sofa or you gonna kill your back, I know you" He wiggled his brows with amusement and rolled the covers on you, keeping a little distance between your two bodies.

"I need to—" A loud ‘cling’ sound echoed in the little flat and you cursed loudly when you ended in the total darkness. "Fucking hell, like I needed that right now" You sighed and didn’t even try to fix the problem now, you were too tired for that.

"Well, at least, the electricity went off after we made your billions of cookies" Roger murmured, hi eyes closed and head resting softly on the pillow toward you. "Let’s go to sleep, we can fix that later"

"Mmm, night Rog" You murmured, feeling yourself already drifting away.

You barely heard Roger’s reply.

**

You woke up only thirty little minute later, freezing your ass off. The heaters weren’t working anymore and the bedroom was bloody cold. The tip of your nose and ears were completely frozen, making you sneezed quietly. You tried to hide under the covers but you could barely breath like that, let alone sleep. You moved a lot, trying to find a comfy and warm position but somehow you were always cold somewhere. Hands, cheeks or whatever part of you face which was exposed to the low temperature of the room. You sneezed again. Twice in a row.

"Can you stop sneezing ? M’ trying to sleep in here" You turned around at the sound of Roger’s voice, a lazy and mocking smile on his lips. Eyes still close to keep the sleep from going away.

"Sorry, can’t control that" You murmured and watched fondly how his wild hairs were forming a nest on the top of the pillow. "How can you sleep anyway ? It’s bloody cold in here" You whined and rubbed the tip of your nose, a low shiver running down you.

"You know my body temperature is warmer than most of people" He mumbled, his voice slightly muffled by the pillow where his head was laying. "Look at me, I’m bloody hot" He cheekily added, making you rolled your eyes, not even surprise from his answer.

"You’re so full of yourself, Rog" You snorted before another sneeze escaped your mouth, making the drummer chuckled. "It’s not funny"

"Come here, missy" The drummer moved blindly his hand until he found your waist, dragging you across the bed toward him.

"What are you doing ?" You asked in a little voice, heartbeat speeding up at the sudden proximity.

"Warming you a bit" He simply replied, pushing you flush against his clothed chest. You felt incredibly nervous to be so close but couldn’t resist to buried your face against his neck, his familiar scent floating around you. "Relax, I don’t bite, sunshine" He lazily chuckled in your ear, one of his hand softly rubbing your back to help you relax. You swallowed nervously and sighed loudly, trying to relax your tense muscles. "Except if you ask me too" He added with a smug smile, making you rolled your eyes again.

You cheekily rubbed your cold feet against his legs, giggling when he gasped at the sudden frozen touch.

"Goodnight, Rog"

You could feel him hesitated before he slid his warm palm under your top, resting it on your spine, another shiver went through your body. Not from the cold this time.

"Night, Sunshine"

[waltwest]

The Freelancer

The following is the first thirteen pages of a short story I am writing titled “The Freelancer”. I hope you enjoy. I apologize for the unappealing formatting, this site does not have the most comprehensive text editor.

                                          I.

             Studying the Keurig machine, I wondered how many complacent people it took to ware the word “brew” off the button, leaving behind nothing more than a “b” and an “e”, which looked curiously like an “s”. I imagined this instant coffee machine as the alter in which lost souls came to pay tribute to each morning before assuming their monotonously drudging tasks; lips drawn, eyes downcast. These people were never happy, not even content. It certainly wasn’t a wish of theirs to be here. Men who dreamt of becoming accomplished composers became pencil pushers. Women who yearned to be animators had landed at secretary. The office is where you come to lay your ambition to rest. Maybe it is a lack of assertiveness in demeanor which lands one here, maybe it is the fate of mere circumstance.

           But I, Maxwell Goodman, knew what my job meant; I knew I worked among the dead. Luckily, there was a spark of life that incessantly flickered within me. With my ten ounce mug full before me, I reluctantly took my communion once again.

           Safely back within the confines of my particle board cubicle, the manila folders and stacks of paper demanding this or that seemed to never be satisfied.

           God, who knew lightbulbs could generate so much paperwork, I thought to myself.

           I sat in silence and regarded the congregation of slain trees covering my desk. My collar was sticking to my neck… Trying to strangle me, for God’s sake. My mouth was dry and coated with the thick taste of cheap coffee. My desktop stared into my eyes expectantly, patiently waiting for me to pound away on the keyboard like a good boy… Like I was supposed to. The bulbs may be bright, but they can’t sell themselves!  That’s what my boss Lonny loved to say. Lonny… God, how can someone be balding so terribly at thirty years old? Is it just bad genetics, or too much cortisol?

           I felt a hand clap on my shoulder. “Max-o! Lovely morning, isn’t it? Hey, in case you weren’t aware, Sweet Charade is having a bogo on donuts until the end of the week…”

           Speak of the devil.

           I swiveled my squeaky and unbalanced office chair to face my boss. “Gee, thanks for filling me in, Lonny. You know how much I love that maple-iced.” I responded, attempting to sound enthusiastic. Lonny was a nice guy, he really was. It’s really difficult to be rude to a guy like Lonny, with his premature baldness and all. You kind of had to feel sorry for him in a way, it was impossible to predict whether or not he was just one snide comment away from completely breaking down. He’s kind of unstable, emotionally. Also, his wife died last year. She fell off a cliff. No really, she did. Her and Lonny took a vacation to the Grand Canyon last August. Kept complaining about how bright the sun was and how she “couldn’t see a damn thing.” Next thing you know, she was trying to take a picture of a bird flying above and somehow managed to fall right off the edge of a cliff. Worst part is, she was eight months pregnant with their son, they were going to name him Clint... So yeah, all in all it’s pretty tough being rude to Lonny.

           “I know they’re your favorite, it’s why I told you. Oh, hey-“Lonny pulled his other hand from behind his back, revealing a bloated manila envelope”-think you could handle this for me? Just a little bit of inventory mumbo-jumbo. Nothing too serious!” He was really trying to exude a devastating level of charm, though the effort was ineffective.

           One side of the envelope was sagging down in the air under its own mind-numbing weight. I never thought an envelope could actually look depressed, it almost made me giggle. Grudgingly, I acquiesced and accepted the package with the lift of the eyebrows and a nod. I didn’t want to be mean, but I also didn’t want him to think I was thrilled about all the extra nonsense. Hell, he might’ve even pulled another folder out of his waistband or something if he got the idea I was happy about it. “Here, how about closing this deal for a thousand LED’s to the grocery store down the street as well…” No, I had enough paper, truly.

           Lonny gave me another hearty clap on the shoulder, his bulbous belly jiggling a bit from the force. Again, I had to prevent myself from giggling… I find myself doing that more frequently than I would care to admit. I get the urge to laugh at the worst times, always. “Thanks, Max. I know I can always count on you.” He confided with a smile of endearment. It was difficult to tell whether that was a positive thing or if this was going to come back and bite me in the ass. Probably the latter.

           Ole’ Lonny then gave a sly wink and swaggered off with the air of one who just successfully pawned off his work to an underling, because he could. What a bastard, I thought. He was an alright guy though, I suppose.

           After a formalized second trip to the alter, I submerged myself in the humming of the fluorescents above me and the ocean of paper before me. Seven more hours…

           At precisely 4:59pm, I slapped all of the folders shut and jabbed the power button on my computer with vehemence. My eyes burned like hell, my head was pounding from all of the caffeine, and my hands were all clammy. Very uncomfortable. God, I couldn’t help but to feel that it wasn’t worth it at the end of each day. I was constantly attacked by the bigger picture. What purpose was I serving? What kind of impact was I having on the world? I dwelled upon these questions often, but couldn’t stand beginning to think about the answers.

           After I ended my quick demoralizing contemplation, the sodden procession of rejects began to file out of the glass door. And with the exchanging of “goodbyes” and “see you tomorrows,” my co-workers fell into their hybrid sedans and putted on down the road. Usually I am pulling into my apartment complex before anyone has even started their cars, but I felt like watching today. Sometimes I like to detach myself from situations and just observe.

          Like this one time, I was sitting on one of those couches that are situated in the walkway at the mall. You know, those areas where they have four couches are situated in a square all cozy and whatnot, just in case the going gets too rough. Anyway, I was sitting on one of those couches, just watching. I peered into a shoe store and beheld a child throwing a royal fit, really overdoing it. He was around tromping everywhere, steam spilling out of his ears and all. He was screeching about a pair of shoes he wanted but couldn’t have. They were these real hip joints, green canvas with blue laces. They were disgustingly ugly, if you want to know the truth. Knowing how these retail stores are, I bet they were like a billion bucks. “I want the shoes! I want the shoes!” He was yelling.

          “I can’t get you those… I can’t. I’m sorry, you know I would...”  His father replied weakly, trying his damnedest to not contribute to the mayhem. He looked sad as hell, embarrassed even. I couldn’t tell whether he was embarrassed because he couldn’t afford the shoes, or because his son was being such an ass about it; I suppose it could’ve been a mixture of both.

          “Mommy would get them for me! Call Mommy! I want Mommy!” The kid was belligerent. Stompin’ his snow boots all around the store, trying to leave imprints in the god damn carpet. It was winter by the way, Christmas time.

          “Oh, you know I can’t do that… I’m sorry, I can’t afford the shoes son. Daddy can’t afford them right now.” He was really trying to be quiet and take control of his bratty offspring. Gosh, he looked so ashamed. I cannot stand ungrateful kids. The father ended up buying his son a cheaper pair of sneakers, to the stomping child’s dismay. I say he shouldn’t have bought him any shoes at all, the way he was acting.

          There was something disturbing and insightful about that encounter, though. If I had just been walking by and heard the kid hollering I would have thought he was acting like a bastard, and that would’ve been it. And he was acting like a bastard, don’t get me wrong. But it is intriguing how the layers of the family dynamic unravels, the more you just watch and listen. The divorced parents, the mother always outdoing the father in order to gain their son’s favor… I was able to see a man who didn’t really know what he was doing with his life, or how he’d even gotten there in the first place… He wasn’t in control, maybe he never was. Maybe he never will be. So yeah, I enjoy sitting back and observing sometimes, beats the hell out of boring conversation.

          Anyway, it was time for me to leave work. I grabbed my pointless little leather satchel and walked out the door. Outside, the air felt nice and fresh… I love the revitalizing effects of fresh air. It was especially neat that evening because there was also one of those breezes that whips really good every so often. It made me hungry. So, I decided I would grab some Chinese food on the way to my apartment. It’s on the way, and I have a huge thing for oriental food… especially lo mein noodles.

                                         II.

             Pint of greasy noodles clutched in hand, I stepped into the elevator of my building and pressed the button for the thirteenth floor, the top floor. I have a fear of heights, so initially I was not too keen on the idea of living so high up. But the thing was, I was pretty down on my luck, I suppose you could even say I was vulnerable. I needed a place quickly and this building was convenient for me… As I said, once I realized the only space for rent was on the top floor, I became a little nervous. But, the woman whom I talked to about the whole thing convinced me that rent was actually cheaper on the top floor. So, despite my uneasiness with heights of any kind, I took the place thinking I was scoring some sort of exclusive insider deal. But, after a few months of residing there and conversing with my neighbors, I learned I was paying around $96 more a month than most people in the whole god damn building. Even the other tenants on my floor were paying less than me. Something about my apartment being a “colonial” this that and the other. I don’t know. I swear to God I’m too gullible sometimes. I still had a year left on my lease.

           Up, up, up the elevator went. Nine, ten, eleven, twelve, ding! Thirteen. The doors opened and I made my way down the hall. I will admit, the building itself was not too impressive. The ceilings had a few leaks, the walls were painted an awful yellow. Sometimes the air conditioner shut off randomly. But all in all, it could have been a lot worse. Everything could always be worse, don’t ever forget that.

           Of course, my special “colonial” apartment was way at the end of the hallway, number 327. As I approached my rickety door, my eyes locked onto a lone piece of mail sticking out of the little metal mailbox. A quick pulse of endorphins spread throughout my brain. I love getting mail. I pulled the envelope out. It was from the Print Box publishing company! Panic, fear, and excitement rose within my chest all at once.

           I guess I forgot to tell you. I have longed to be an author for as long as I can remember. It is my dream, I guess you could say. Unfortunately, I haven’t had any luck getting published, or even acknowledged for that matter. I have written many different stories and have sent them to every publishing house imaginable. I’ve even sent short clips to shitty magazines hoping to get a bite, to no avail. The only responses I have gotten have been rejections. Most often they don’t even take the time to respond… Trust me, it’s not like I wanted to sell lightbulbs as a career, you should realize that by now.

           And while I had never received positive criticism or encouragement in the past, it was impossible to not feel hopeful when I got a letter back from a publisher. I believed that one day my luck would shift. It had to… Right?

           I hurried and shoved the key into the door, then shot straight to the couch to read what Print Box had to say. My noodles sat on the coffee table, untouched and getting slightly cold.

           I ended up sitting frozen for a couple of minutes, staring at the front of the envelope… As if the address lines were going to tell me that it was going to be okay, this time was different. Really, I was savoring the moment. I had a certain amount of measured confidence when it came to this letter. In my opinion, the story I sent to Print Box was amazing, one of my best yet. It was a story about an inter-galactic space traveler who ends up meeting God and finding out He’s not how everyone thinks He is. I promise it’s not as crumby as it sounds. It was good. You would just have to read it.

           Life seemed to be still around me; a foreboding, ominous stillness. Blood was rushing to my ears. My hands shaking ever so slightly, I ran my finger underneath the seal, and took out the prophecy within. Please, let this be it. Please.

           It read as follows:

           “Dear Mr. Goodman,

           We received your manuscript for ‘Creator’s Paradox’. After review, we are terribly sorry to inform you that we have decided not to publish your work. It is simply not a fit for us.

Best Wishes,

Print Box Publications”

           A cold knife sank deep into my chest. What? That’s it? The letter trembled in my hands. The excitement and hope fled my body entirely, and had been replaced by sorrow and confusion, even anger. How could this be? I should have known. I shouldn’t have expected anything more. Why would this time be any different? It was then that I thought maybe I should just give up. I am no good at this, I absolutely suck. That must be it… They say to chase your dreams, but what if you are just terrible? I had never felt such dread. Maybe I was meant to sell lightbulbs for a living…

           Unceremoniously I ripped the bad news in half and let it fall onto the table. Sinking back into the frayed cloth couch, I would have been completely okay with just disappearing in that moment, I felt deflated.

           After a shameful amount of sulking, I forced down the then limp noodles, grabbed a beer from the fridge, and slid out onto the balcony.

           The night was warm, but not unreasonably so. It was that time of year when you keep a jacket in the backseat of your car, because you can never be certain which way the thermometer will flow. But even though the night was cozy, I had a rain cloud hovering over my head. I was already beginning to accept my future. The cardboard cutout life I was going to surrender to. 401k’s, strategies to improve my credit score… That sort of thing.

           I sipped my beer and looked out upon the terrain before me, in the most reflective of moods. I had to admit, the view was pleasurable from up here. I lived in the boot heel of Indiana, by the way. An area of the world where it is commonplace for urban and rural landscapes to collide, battling for a prominent grip over the territory. Upon my perch, I could see and feel the city below me: the streetlamps, stoplights, cars honking at nothing in particular, the smell of gas and concrete which invaded the nostrils. But when I looked beyond the ring of cityscape, seemingly endless fields and  small hillocks rolled into the horizon, with a strip of highway interceding here and there. The occasional semi would be finding its way through the night, like a worm over soil. It was comforting in a way, made you feel like you could always just escape if you wanted to or needed to.

           I found and traced one semi making his way across the fields. He was at such a distance, I could only distinguish him by the studded lights that adorned his truck. He looked so lonely, plodding along out there, all by himself. I wondered, was he happy? Did he choose his life for himself? Or did he just throw in the towel, like I was having thoughts of doing… I suppose I would never find out. Not like I could pluck him off the road and ask him. Or her. I shouldn’t just assume they are a man. I wonder how much truck drivers make? I heard they bring in quite a bit of dough, actually… I pictured myself taking the reigns of my own eighteen-wheeler; soaking in the sights, getting into a bit of trouble at the various truck stops. It didn’t feel right, though. For a moment I felt my skin squirm.

           The fight of two alley cats below suddenly tore me out of my trance. I noticed I was rubbing my fingers together really hard, and all of a sudden the stench of garbage filled the air. It was all discomforting. I realized that this was the moment that was going to lay the foundation for the rest of my time on Earth. Will I push onward, and become who I want to be? Or do I choose the easy, less turbulent path, and adjust. We all stumble upon this fork in the road at some point throughout our lives. Although, unfortunately, most are blind to the path tucked behind the brush, the path we were each destined to take. We only see the wider, more trodden path of conformity.

           As I stood at the helm of my splitting path, I knew within my heart which route I was going to take. There was no question… I was going to part the foliage and venture into the canopied forest.

                                         III.

             The time was getting close to ten, but I had struck a vein of determination and inspiration. I was not going to simply shrug it off and go to sleep.

           Back and forth I paced around the cramped living room. Couch. Coffee table. Television, resting upon an empty entertainment center. Plastic lamp situated in the corner. Generic cream carpeting. Bland, unextraordinary.

           I paced and paced, contemplatively gripping my chin.

           I knew I had to write something. But what should I write a story about? Gosh, I began to get nervous. In the early twentieth century, here was this Italian novelist named Cesare Pavese. There is a quote of his wherein he states, “the only joy in the world is to begin.” The only feeling I get when I begin something is anxiety and confusion… I can see where he is coming from though, I suppose. There is bound to be intrigue when diving into something new. And anxiety. Shit, where the hell did those Valium go?

           My pacing shifted its course to the bathroom. On the way I passed the boring ass photos that were framed in the four-foot-wide hallway, standing guard. A vase of flowers sitting on a patio table. A tire swing. It felt like the first time I had ever seen these pictures. So generic… So dumb. God, they made me want to puke. Why didn’t I take them down whenever I moved in? My blood pressure was rising. Fucking stock photos.

           I crashed into the bathroom and swung the mirror open. The ole’ medicine cabinet, baby. Where everyone goes when in need of a little chemical therapy. We’re all guilty…

           Sifting through prescriptions old and new, some in my name, others not, I eventually found what I was searching for. Also, upon studying the array of medications in front of me, I realized I may have a slight drug problem. Oh well, it’s not as bad as it once was.

           I recall one incident in particular from the past. I must have taken twelve Xanax bars, maybe more. I went to the park (I love the park) and was feeding some pigeons; leftover Doritos I had found in my car, they were at least four months past the expiration date. Anyway, after just tossing chips around all over the sidewalk for about half an hour, I took a particularly special interest in one of the pigeons. He was a bit smaller than the rest, and one of his eyes was circled in black. Incredibly unique, at least in comparison the others. He was really taking control of the situation too, despite his size. Really getting in there, hardly sharing any of the precious chips. Greedy bastard… I think that’s why I liked him so well.

           Anyway, I decided that I needed him. You know, with his attitude, maybe he could protect my pad or something. I don’t know, I was pretty high. So, after wrestling with him for a bit (if you can picture that), it became clear I could not just pick the rowdy fucker up. Had a lot of fight in him. I wouldn’t have been surprised if he had pulled out a cigar from beneath his wing and started puffin’ at me, head all cockeyed and whatnot. “C’maaaaaaaaaan, that all ya got?” I had to regroup, construct a more inventive method of capture.

           Bingo. Easy. He may have been all brawn, but he still had an observable weakness… Doritos.

           With an inward smirk, I strategically (and sloppily) began making a trail of chip crumbs that led to the opened passenger-side door of my car. Worked like a charm, perhaps too well. The whole damn flock began tottering and flapping over to my car. At this point I realized my coveted plan may have had a detrimental absence of foresight,  I thought I was surely doomed. But as always, there was a solution. When the horde got within a few feet of my vehicle, I started kickin’ and screamin’ at all of them. They all flew away quick as can be, except for my new friend of course, the bravest of them all. Victory. I finally managed to coerce the prize fighter into my car with one last huge Dorito, and off to the races we went.

           He shit all over my seats, my dashboard, everything. God, it was terrible. Stunk like hell, too.  To make a long story short, we were never meant to be friends. He continued to mercilessly defecate all over the apartment, pecked the hell out of my ankles, he was extremely aggressive… Not house trained in the slightest.

           Needless to say, I was positively sick of this bastard by this point… I decided the best course of action would be turning him into profit. I took him down to the gas station and tried to peddle him off to the cashier for three dollars… He declined. But to be fair, I believe if he wasn’t at work and whatnot, trying to look good for his boss, he would have gone for it. He truly looked like he wanted that pigeon something fierce… Got all wide-eyed, sweat gathering at the brow. Either he wanted that pigeon, or he was deathly afraid of it. It was almost weird, his intensity.

           Yeah, I used to be kind of awful about it. That happened right after high school. I wasn’t too productive back then, sometimes I wish I could go back and change those years.

           Anyway, I quickly swallowed forty-five milligrams of Valium in the bathroom, on account of my soaring blood pressure and all. The stock photos didn’t help. Plus, I really needed to buckle down and figure out what I was going to write and how I was going to blow the socks off of the publishers and leave their feet steaming. This had to be the big one.

                                         IV.

             I set up shop in the kitchen, the only place in my apartment that has a table and chair. I had my tools for creation all laid out. A trio of freshly sharpened pencils, a pad of paper, and one of those noise machines that produces rainforest sounds and whatnot. Yes, I like those, and yes, I still believe in pencil & paper. Staring at a computer screen for extended periods of time isn’t quite healthy for you. It’s terrible on the eyes, you know. Additionally, there is something therapeutic about manually writing out each letter of a word, your hand carefully forming every one of those curves… The act feels intimate, and poking at a keyboard just isn’t the same. But I digress.

           Let’s see… Romance novels are too cheesy, you almost always know how they are going to end. I had already recently tried my hand at space exploration. Though space is endless, making the potential for stories based in space limitless as well. Still, I wasn’t really in the mood at that moment. Ugh, brainstorming is too much work, truly. This is why I like it best when the ideas come to me naturally.

           Just as I was delving deeper into thought, or trying to, my phone rang from the counter behind me. It gave me a shock, partly because it was getting so late and partly because hardly anyone ever called me.

           Casually I looked to see who my caller was. “Silas,” the screen read. Of course. Silas is an old pal from school that I kept in touch with for some reason. He’s a morally decent guy I suppose, has a good heart. He just never quite grew up.

           “Hello?”

           “Maximillian! What’s up?” He was totally stoned. In the background I could hear the bubbling of a bong along with feminine laughter. I heard something else too, faintly… Was that… Street Fighter?

           “Hey, Silas. It’s almost one in the morning, what’s going on?” I tried my darndest not to sound rude, sometimes I have a problem with that.

           “Oh, nothin’ much man…” More laughter, it caused me to wonder what the hell was so funny. “Hey, Max, do you have any molly? Need some molly… Ecstasy.”

           Initially I figured he was stoned, but he was progressively sounding more drunk than anything. Probably both. “Silas, I haven’t done molly in over three years. What the hell are you thinkin’, do I got any molly? No, I do not… Are you fuckin’ drunk?” This guy blew my mind sometimes.

           Awkward silence. More bubbling. And yes, that was certainly Street Fighter. “Damn dude, my bad… For some reason I thought you might.” More silence. Generally, it’s difficult for this man to process more than a couple of sentences at a time… Got a hell of a heart though. “Well, okay. Hey, do you know anybody who does?” He sounded wistful, maybe even a bit desperate. All the sudden I had the feeling I was not the first person he called about this. It made me sad in a way.

           I sat crisscross on the tile. Why there instead of the chair? I don’t know, it’s what I felt like doing then, okay? I liked the fresh perspective. “No, ‘fraid not. Haven’t touched the stuff in a long time.” Pause. “What the hell ya been up to anyway, Silas?” I was genuinely interested. I began picking at the tile with my fingernail.

           “Uhhh, nothing really. I-…” He really had to think about what he had been up to. “Went to a Cannibal Corpse concert last week. Yeah, concert and stuff.” He sounded like he was about to fall asleep, or become a corpse himself. God, look at all that dust beneath the fridge…

           Just then, I got a wonderful idea. “Gee, that sounds like loads of fun. Hey, Silas. If you were going to write a story, what would it be about? You know, if you were just going to write a story or something… About anything.” I was curious. I wanted to squeeze his mushy brain and see what came out. Plus, the Valium had me feeling a bit conversative.

           The line was quiet for awhile. I could’ve sworn he had fallen asleep, phone pinned between his shoulder and cheek, slobber dripping from his chin. “-A story? Story… Probably about a barbarian or something. Barbarian who has a club and nails chicks in his cave. Like Conan, I guess.” Silence… “Hey, Conan nailed chicks in caves, right?” He was asking someone next to him.

           Boom, inspiration flooded the inside of my head, almost making me dizzy. How didn’t I think of this before?

Obviously, his idea was stupid. But the barbarian aspect intrigued me. How fun would that be? A barbarian who finds himself in a world of magic. Brings it back to Earth for the betterment of humanity. I don’t know, something silly like that. Something people will read, something that will keep them entertained.

           Silas focused his attention back to me. I had almost forgotten I was on the phone with him. “Max, buddy. Hey, Max. Do you have any molly, by chance?”

           I didn’t have the time for this anymore. I needed to get to work. “Sorry, gotta go. Goodbye, Silas.” I hung up the phone. Krosmere… That’s what his name will be.

           I bounced up from the floor and positioned myself back at the table.

           I took a deep breath, turned on the trusty rainfall machine, and poised my pencil. It was time to craft the legacy of Krosmere, rogue barbarian. I couldn’t remember the last time I had been so excited to start something. I was now beginning to feel the meaning of Cesare Pavese’s words.

                                        V.

             A ray of early morning sun dove into the kitchen from the window above the sink, casting the table before me in an orange-red glow. There I was, hunched over my papers, clad only in an old white tee-shirt and a pair of pinstripe boxers. Every hallow in my body had filled with salty perspiration.

           Truly, I had not realized how late it was getting. Or, rather, how early… I risked a glance at the clock on the oven. “5:41am” it read in its obnoxious neon green radiance. Somewhere down the hallway I could hear the maddening wail of my alarm clock trying to be a voice of reason or something, I suppose. How did I not hear that until now? BAH, BAH, BAH, BAH, BAH. God, I just wanted to throw the damn thing against the wall. I have done that quite a few times already. Like after Cinco De Mayo last year. Threw that motherfucker so good it flew out of my room and smacked the wall in the hallway. Or after the Colts lost the Super Bowl. Hell, it wasn’t even morning time, and I’m not into sports! I just went into my room and punted the sumbitch right into the ceiling. I can be childish sometimes. There was also that one time when my ex-girlfriend threw the alarm clock at me… Does that even count? I don’t know. My alarm clock is actually quite beaten up, I should probably buy a new one.

           “5:47am”. As I sat there a couple more moments, I felt intruded upon. As if the sun was invading my privacy, putting me on a stage for all the world to laugh at. Don’t you hate that?

           I strutted to my bedroom, sticky boxers and all, and silenced the howling beast. On my way out, after tripping over an extension cord gone awry, I stood face-to-face with the blasphemous stock photos. Those motherfuckers were taunting me, I know they were. The flowers! The fucking tire swing! Are you kidding me? Rage flared within me. I seriously could not begin to tell you why or how I allowed these abominations to remain for so long. They really made me want to puke.

           Instinctively I tore the frames from the wall and stomped back to the kitchen with them tucked under my arm. I could’ve sworn to God they were burning me with their wickedness, their phoniness.

           I found myself in front of the window, the same window the damn sun broke in through. I disengaged the lock and threw it open. A blast of chill air sucked inward, air you could tell was leftover from the night. It had a nice smell. It was then that I realized how muggy it had been in the kitchen. Like two (or more) people were in here having sex all night or something. If only.

           I peered outside into the shifting sky. You know, there isn’t a lot to brag about in Indiana, but the sunrises are absolutely beautiful. Picturesque, you could say. Deep reds that bleed over the entire Earth, splashes of orange, streaks of lavender. They are serene.

           I felt a searing on my side. Pulling the photos out from my arm, I flung them out into the open air without so much as a last glance. I suppose I could have thrown them in the trash, but then they would still be inside the apartment. They had to be eradicated, and immediately. With pleasure I envisioned gravity pulling them down, down, down, all thirteen floors, where they would meet their well-deserved demise on the sidewalk below. Gosh, I hope they don’t hit anything… An afterthought.

           It took only a grain of sand in the hourglass of our universe for the photos to collide with the pavement, marked by a satisfying crash. Later some would testify that a dog’s yelp followed just after the commotion, but I heard no such thing.

           Smug and triumphant with a menace destroyed, I turned on my heel, only to be blasted with more joy as my gaze fell upon my papers on the table. Oh, my work! My lovely work!

           The lack of sleep, the now sweat stained boxers… It had all been worth it. I had spent all night crafting the structure for what I know, without a doubt, will be my best story ever. The big one.

           I had finished the outline, was already on the second chapter of the story. Hell, I even sketched out a picture of ole’ Krosmere. A muscle-bound barbarian. Thick, long brown hair (like mine). I made him only have one nipple, though. You know, to add character and all that. Really, I am a terrible artist. I couldn’t draw my way out of a two-dimensional square if I had to.

           I still had about three hours until I needed to start selling lightbulbs, which was fine with me. You can do a lot in three hours, if you really try. I figured I could make some breakfast, get cleaned up, maybe even go for a walk. Working through the day without a wink of sleep was not something I really looked forward to, but it wasn’t that big of a deal. Adderall. I’m fairly sure I had someone’s script in my cabinet still. You know, for emergencies and the like.

           With a newfound pep in my step, I threw the pan onto the rusted stove and began cracking some eggs, whistling along with the birds perched among the rooftops outside.

[popatochisssp]

Make Your Mark, 10/10

Series: Undertale, Horrortale Relationship(s): HT!Papyrus/Reader Chapter Warnings: mentions of death, implications of past murder/cannibalism, nothing explicit; a panic attack

AO3 Link

In a world where soulmates exist, monsters and humans have one thing in common: the first time two soulmates touch, a mark randomly appears somewhere–anywhere– on their bodies to represent their match.

It still doesn’t make relationships easier…but maybe it does make them a little more interesting!

Papyrus could easily say that it was the best date he’d ever had in his life… and not only because he could count the number of dates he’d been on with one hand.

You, his wonderful datemate, had been taking it upon yourself to show him all of the cool, fun things a cool, fun couple like yourselves could get up to here on the surface and he really had to hand it to you: the waterpark was one of your most fantastic ideas yet!

He was…admittedly too big for a lot of the attractions—most of the high-velocity slides, as thrilling as they looked, just weren’t a safe fit for him, designed for humans roughly half his height—but Papyrus was delighted to find that there were plenty of things he could enjoy without risk of maiming himself.

(He’d made a point of doing a few mental calculations before waiting in line for anything dodgy-looking, anyway, just to be sure. Not for the first time, he thanked the stars that he was such an avid reader, and that Sans kept approximately ten billion physics textbooks around the house at any given moment for him to have read and reread a hundred times when he was bored!)

(…he was even willing to thank Sans for being so responsive by text whenever he wanted to be extra sure his math was right. The handful of thumbs-up emojis he’d gotten back with his waterproof phone before potentially risking life and limb had been really reassuring!)

But!

He was having a great time!

The hot sun in the beautiful blue sky made every splash of cool, chlorinated water on his bones feel divine, rivaled only by your beaming presence beside him while he enjoyed it.

His favorite thing so far was definitely the wave-pool, watching you bob in the rippling water like the cutest buoy that ever was.

He’d managed to distract you twice before you caught on that he was doing it on purpose, because you were adorable when you caught a wave right to the face and had to sputter and shake it off, all embarrassed and disoriented.

You only got cuter when you tried to ‘yell’ at him for it and the urge to scoop you up and pinch your squishy human cheek was almost too powerful to resist!

It was good! It was fun! Papyrus was having a wonderful date with you!

Tense is important to note here.

Was, because it seems pretty clear to Papyrus that what he’s doing now is completely and utterly ruining everything.

Funny how one dying child could do that.

Papyrus isn’t sure on the details, it all happened very fast—a woman yelling, a gathering crowd, a lifeguard pulling a very small body out of the water—and he’d been three steps forward, ready to declare himself as a nurse, someone who could help…

And then there was a flicker of static in the air, the energy of a small soul winking out of existence.

And Papyrus just…froze.

He doesn’t know why.

He doesn’t, it’s stupid, he is no stranger to death, he’s seen it dozens of times, he sees it every day at work!

But it wasn’t supposed to be here…

All he knows is that it felt like everything in him was locking up at once and it took everything he had to mutter, “Excuse Me,” to you before running off to the nearest changing room.

To hide, like a coward.

He’s so mad at himself and he feels so helpless, slumped against a wall of lockers trying to make his own panicking body cooperate; trying to get his legs back under him, trying to breathe normally, trying to Stop. Fucking. Shaking.

But he can’t.

Even with sockets squeezed painfully shut, he sees that boy, his grief-stricken mother holding him…and he thinks of Sans.

Sans, looking devastated and broken, with blood on his hands and a disturbingly limp human in his arms, begging his brother to help him.

The body, just the first in a line of way too many, laid out on his kitchen counter, dead empty meat that he had to… because everyone was hungry, everyone was starving, and it was already done, Sans had already… so he had to do this part, for everyone, but stars above, the blood, the smell, the taste…!

It always comes back like this, crystal-clear, and Papyrus feels nausea roiling through the stomach he doesn’t even have.

He’s been out of his braces for years—why are his teeth hurting so bad now…?

He clamps his hands over his mouth and hunches down into himself, wishing his own rattling would drown out everything else in his skull.

“…Papyrus…?”

And he freezes again.

No. No, Please, No, Not…

But he can’t catch a break because there you are, standing right in front of him, so sweetly concerned and the shame strikes like a lightning bolt, sizzling all the way down to his soul.

“No,” he gasps aloud, “I…You’re Not Supposed To…”

Be here, see him like this, know that he’s like this.

You’re supposed to see his good side: The Great Papyrus, cheerful and resilient and strong, recovered from the trauma of the Underground in every way!

You’re supposed to admire him, you’re supposed to think he’s cool and tough and never, ever see this weak and stupid thing he is sometimes when it all comes back…

The sound he makes is downright pathetic, dripping with despair, and he folds into himself even more, wishing he could disappear.

You…seem to have other plans.

Papyrus jumps when you throw your arms around his shoulders and squeeze him in the tightest hug you’ve ever given him—the first hug you’ve ever given him.

“Hey,” you say, and your voice is so soft and so kind when you say it that he doesn’t even think of trying to pull away. “It’s okay, you’re… I’m here, it’s…it’s okay.”

The words, so earnestly spoken, make Papyrus sob, just once…which is stupid, because…because he’s not even crying.

…Is he?

Suddenly, he’s not sure of anything anymore except what you said: you’re here and it’s okay, it’s okay, it’s okay…

He breaks.

Without a second thought, he picks you up, hugging you tightly against his body while he shakes and falls apart and even as it’s worse, somehow it’s…better than it was before.

You’re so warm and soft and slightly damp, like a soggy teddy-bear that can pet him and whisper soothing words and kiss the top of his skull, and Papyrus doesn’t think he ever wants to put you down again.

Especially when, ever so slowly, his body starts to cancel all the blaring Panic Mode alarms and he’s left weakly clinging to you with his face safely hidden in your neck.

It’s…it’s a real, actual struggle to put you down.

He’s pretty sure his cheekbones are glowing and he can’t quite make himself meet your eye.

“That… I’m Sorry You Had To See That,” he mumbles reluctantly. “That Was…Very Embarrassing.”

You stare up at him with hands on your hips and you cluck your tongue.

“No, it wasn’t,” you say, and the certainty in your tone is such that he almost believes you. “That was…a messed up thing that happened out there. I’d be more worried if you weren’t upset at all.”

Oh, Stars, The Child…

Papyrus frowns before he speaks, scared to hear the answer but also needing to know…

“The Boy,” he asks, “Was… Did He…?”

Your smile is the most reassuring thing he’s ever seen.

“He’s fine,” you promise, “the lifeguard did CPR and he coughed up half the pool. Guess he wasn’t a strong swimmer and took off his water-wings when mom wasn’t looking. He got an earful over that, but they left for the hospital just to make sure he was okay.”

Oh, Humans.

Papyrus would never cease to be amazed by their ability to survive the deadliest of things, even coming back from the dead if somebody fixed the problem quickly enough.

Humans were so strong, so incredible…

Papyrus looks at you and feels his expression soften.

So Amazing…

He opens his mouth, ready to deliver the most flattering, touching, affection-filled compliment he’s ever uttered…

Only for you to gasp and mutter a surprised expletive.

When Papyrus follows your gaze and looks down at himself, he sees the source of your impolite language and…may even repeat it himself.

There just aren’t polite words to properly encapsulate the feeling of shock at seeing your soulmark for the first time.

Even if you have no earthly idea what it is.

All Papyrus can tell, looking down at himself, is that it’s bright and it’s everywhere, yellow lines squiggling across his entire thorax and even tagging his humeri with a stray lash here and there.

“…Well,” he says at length. “That Certainly Happened.”

Papyrus has always had a talent for understatement.

But there are more important matters at stake here than that.

“I Hate To Ask, But You Seem To Have The Better Vantage Point,” he admits, “So… What… Is It? I Can’t Quite Make It Out From This Angle.”

You take a few moments to process the question.

Papyrus is happy to wait while you sort it all out—you can’t spell ‘patience’ without…at least two letters from his name!

“It’s…it’s a…” you sound so stunned to be saying it, like you can’t believe your own words, but eventually you manage, “it’s a sun…”

Papyrus isn’t surprised at all.

It’s perfect.

Unable to restrain his grin, he finally gets to his feet, his soul bubbling with excitement at this wonderful revelation.

It more than makes up for that bit of unpleasantness that he’s on a date with his soulmate, one date of surely many, and he’s sure he can salvage the rest of it!

But when he moves toward the exit of the changing room, you don’t follow.

Papyrus says your name, but it’s clear he doesn’t have your attention—not with the way you’re frantically examining your arms and legs and every bit of exposed skin you can see.

You’re looking for a mark to answer the one you’d left on him…and not having much luck, by the look of things.

“Come on,” you grumble to yourself, managing to sound both frustrated and distressed, “where is it?!”

Papyrus comes back over to you.

“Don’t Worry About That,” he gently chides you. “It’s Not Important.”

Your head whips up, your eyes comically wide. “What do you mean, it’s not important?! It’s your soulmark!”

Papyrus laughs. “Well, Yes, In Theory, But I May Not Have Given You One.”

You just gape at him that time, utterly bewildered by his casual tone.

“It’s Perfectly Okay If I Didn’t,” he continues, placing a reassuring hand on your shoulder now that he can; now that the touch-barrier between you has already been broken. “Just Because You’re My Soulmate Doesn’t Mean I Have To Be Yours—I’m Not Going To Break Up With You, Or Enjoy This Date Any Less, You Know!”

“…but it’s! Probably here somewhere!” you insist, starting to tug at your swimsuit, and Papyrus stills your hand.

“Maybe It Is!” he agrees. “But You Don’t Have To Get Naked Right Now Just To Look For It! I’m Sure There Are Much Better Places To See Your Soulmark For The First Time Than In A Filthy, Bateria-Ridden Public Changing Room, Don’t You Think?”

You pause, looking around like you were remembering where you both were.

And then you start to laugh.

“There, Now!” Papyrus grins triumphantly, “I Knew You’d See Reason! Now, Why Don’t We Go Try Out That Slothful River Of Yours In The Meantime?”

That makes you perk up a little. You had been so excited about that attraction and so (not so secretly) disappointed when Papyrus hadn’t really wanted to go.

“Really?” you wonder. “You want to, now?”

Papyrus shrugs. “I Suppose I Can Grin And Bear It, For You! Especially If We Can Share A Tube…”

He says this with the emphasis normally reserved for very saucy activities indeed, being sure to waggle his browbones at you ridiculously enough to make you laugh again.

“Alright,” you agree, revitalized, “alright, yeah, let’s go!”

Your mark is perfect: you truly are his sunshine.

…and as you bounce off just a few steps ahead of him, back out into the light of day, Papyrus sees what he is to you, painted across your back in a colorful tableau that nearly makes his jaw drop off.

He thanks his lucky stars that he’s composed and in control of himself again by the time he sees it.

It means that he’s able to play it cool until he can snap the ideal selfie for you about halfway through the lazy river, while you happily doze against his chest.

The hardy desert garden between your shoulder blades—a cluster of blooming cacti and colorful, concentric succulents bursting forth onto your skin—looks fantastic under actual sunlight, but even more incredible beside the daisy-yellow sun rays you’d seared into his bones.

Papyrus is willing to admit to…a small bit of bias.

But only a little.

UT!Sans | UT!Papyrus | US!Sans | US!Papyrus | UF!Sans | UF!Papyrus | SF!Sans | SF!Papyrus | HT!Sans

[elizabethaudrey]

Media reports _ TRON's total ecosystem supports BTFS, the cornerstone of the next-generation Internet starts to take shape

TRON | Media Coverage "Tron TRON is fully ecologically blessed, and BTFS is even more powerful and is redefining decentralized storage space." �� Media source: Bibajie Article link: High-quality products are not necessarily identified by the marketplace, and high-quality items must withstand market validation. In addition to the hot spot of TRON 4.0 this year, the industry of decentralized storage can be very lively. IPFS, which has not been effectively completed on the main system for N periods, is finally on the main network. The IPFS, that was originally intended to harvest a wave of hotspots, offers been decreased to a mining device due to Filecoin and is not suitable for home miners. Being criticized, on the contrary, the decentralized storage space upstart BTFS, that is doing factors low-key on the other hand, succeeded in attracting the attention of the market, allowing everyone to notice more options and feasibility. Since the launch of BTFS earlier than the IPFS mainnet on June 17, the speed has gradually accelerated, and there were many actions. It offers successively released mining revenue and mining competitions. It is said there are six mining incentive models, which are increasingly being released one after another. In addition, recently, as DLive, TRONSCAN, JUST, etc. have successively introduced their support for BTFS to produce a new era of decentralized storage space network, there exists a strong inclination for TRON to support BTFS in the whole ecosystem. This is to force BTFS to decentralized storage space. Iron Throne"? It really is undeniable that after more than a yr of growth and technological precipitation, BTFS has shown its several benefits. With the gradual execution of ecological scenarios, BTFS will undoubtedly occupy a dominant position in the cornerstone of the next-generation Internet of decentralized storage. Still talking about IPFS? Which may be because you really do not understand BTFS Huobi At a time when data has turned into a key creation factor, data is now numerous and important, and its own value attributes are becoming increasingly prominent. During the past ten years, most of the information on the Internet has been transferred to cloud storage, & most of the application data we make use of each day are saved in server farms possessed by Amazon, Google, or Microsoft. But beneath the centralized system, many complications inevitably arise. Information security, information leakage regularly occur, as well as censorship, server outages, and hacker attacks continue steadily to plague the marketplace. These difficulties are changing with the introduction of the era of decentralized storage. IPFS, which includes been ridiculed by the industry, has been developed for so many years and contains consumed everyone's patience for so many years. What's there now? Will be mining chaos disrupting the industry? Home computer cannot participate in mining? Will there be a higher investment risk for tokens and futures products because the main system has not however been launched? On the other hand, the advantages of BTFS are fully displayed, and all benefits directly hit the pain factors of the. The six mining incentive versions recently launched are even more interesting for miners.

Six BTFS mining incentives are coming Public information implies that BTFS has officially launched six mining incentive models, directly attacking the mining income issue that global miners are most worried about. 1) Storage space mining, as the most basic mining functionality of BTFS, through this mode, customers will get rewards every day. So long as you add a lot more than 100MiB of storage on BTFS every day, it is possible to share the total prize swimming pool of 30 million BTT on that time; 2) Space for storage mining competition. BTT benefits will be split into 4 levels, the total share is above 1PiB/5PiB/10PiB/20PiB, 1000 hosts will share 5 billion BTT/10 billion BTT/15 billion BTT/20 billion BTT based on the increased storage space ratio. Yes, through the storage space mining competitors, miners will share a total prize pool of up to 20 billion BTT; 3) Node repair mining. Mining is done by fixing nodes; at the moment, node maintenance are centralized. In the future, BTFS will allow Host to home loan decentralized repairs, and reward users for mining; maintain Host features to make sure node stability. This allows non-storage mining users to participate; 4) Node popularity mining; Hub presently runs on the centralized scoring system. Through the scoring mechanism, the excellence of the Host will be scored. A decentralized popularity mechanism will be more fair and effective, while reducing the responsibility on the Hub. 5) Storage verification mining. It is stated to be on the internet in early August. Everyone will quickly be able to benefit from the mining benefits delivered by this model. 6) CDN storage mining; in this mode, users can provide forwarding services in CDN, download info for mining. The specific mining reward system happens to be being revised. It is reported that the initial mining method has been officially launched on July 7th, and other mining modes will undoubtedly be launched in the near future. So, overall, do you know the BTT benefits that BTFS miners can currently get? In addition to the default income of 7680 BTT per month obtained by miners by keeping files, the aforementioned six mining incomes produce 30 million BTT prize pools for space for storage mining each day, and the posting as high as 20 billion BTT brought by mining competitions! Needless to say, miners may also earn more BTT through mining strategies such as upcoming node restoration, node reputation, storage verification, and CDN storage. Don't ask how to choose high-quality projects in the currency circle and how exactly to obtain reliable income. BTT's many income models have already been put on the desk. Compared with the many projects that are nevertheless in the belly, BTT is the right choice. The ecological growth trend is strong, and TRON fully supports BTFS In order to further establish and consolidate the dominant position of decentralized storage space, with the essential settings and clear mining income, the key depends on the precise landing cases and the effectiveness of the entire ecological construction. In this regard, the birth of the "Golden Key" and the complete ecological blessing of TRON's BTFS has obviously won. Lately, TronLink Pobao Wallet, the decentralized media live broadcast community DLive, TRON's almost all representative blockchain browser TRONSCAN, decentralized lending and lending platform Simply, and TRON-based gaming platform WINk have got announced their support. BTFS, collectively to produce a new generation of decentralized storage space network. It is stated that there are even more TRON ecological projects on the path to make use of BTFS, in fact it is estimated that they can be officially announced soon. what does this mean? When others have invested their efforts and finally spotted the decentralized storage industry, the BTFS mainnet has been launched. When others are suffering from the many requirements of traders and institutions, BTFS has formally launched numerous mining revenues and attained them. Regular activity exceeded 200,000 and effective development; when others relied on different "beautiful" appearances and painted lots of pie but nonetheless did not make any genuine progress, BTFS provides entered the field of large-scale industrial implementation and contains achieved many outstanding results. While vigorously advertising its ecological development, BTFS, which has a steady and rapid pace and full ecological support of TRON, is driving and top the stable and sustainable development of the complete decentralized storage industry. Soon, obviously, this fresh generation of decentralized storage space network provides us even more surprises. Wait and see, wait for the beautiful chapter! -END-

** ** (Swipe up to view content) TRON uses the promotion of Web decentralization as its objective and is committed to building infrastructure for the decentralized Web. Its TRON protocol is one of the world's largest blockchain-based decentralized program operating system protocols, supplying high-throughput, high-scalability, and high-reliability underlying open public chain assistance for the procedure of decentralized programs on the process. TRON furthermore provides much better compatibility for Ethereum intelligent contracts through an innovative pluggable wise contract platform. Since July 24, 2018, TRON has acquired BitTorrent Inc., an Internet technologies company based in SAN FRANCISCO BAY AREA. The distributed technology designed by BitTorrent Inc. can successfully expand, remain intelligent, and enable creators and customers to control their articles and data. Every month, more than 170 million people use products produced by BitTorrent Inc.. BitTorrent Inc.'s process can transmit 40% of the world's Internet visitors every day. Find out about the latest official information of TRON (Swipe up to view content) Official website: You can follow Weibo: TRON Blockchain Facebook users can directly access: Telegram is interactive and searchable: Chinese English You can go to Github to learn more: Follow @tronfoundation in Twitter to remain updated Searching?

[allenmendezsr]

Dr. Blocks Wellness Program

New Post has been published on https://autotraffixpro.app/allenmendezsr/dr-blocks-wellness-program/

Dr. Blocks Wellness Program

 Buy Now

    From Dr. Joel Block

What If You Could Reclaim Reliable, Rock-Hard Erections, Avoid Mortifying Moments, and Discover The Best Sex of Your Life Without Drugs, Pills or Potions That Can Leave You Limp Or Lifeless?

Take a deep breath…

You know that moment you keep dreading? The one where you’re minutes from an encounter and you have no idea if your erection is going to be there?

That moment…it’s over. For life.

But, it’s not going to happen the way you think. Or the way you’ve been told it has to happen.

Because, for the vast majority of men, drugs, herbs, pills and potions are completely unnecessary.

I’ll explain how and why in a second, but first, I have to get this out of the way…

If you’re anxious about whether the info I’m sharing with you is real, or just another online ED scam…that’s actually a good thing. I want you to be cautious. I want you to question what people are telling you (and trying to sell you), who they are, what their credentials are and what their agendas are. Because, there’s a parade of online scammers and back-alley hucksters selling bogus ED “cures” (in fact, if you see the words ED and cure in the same sentence, run).

And, sadly, mega drug-companies have now taken the reigns in the push to brainwash you into believing you need penis pills until the day you die (a day those same drugs might play a role in).

Before you choose drugs or herbal hooey, don’t you wonder how important it might be to understand the truth about what works, what’s utter fiction…and what’s so dangerous it’s actually been implicated in more than 200 deaths worldwide.

Dr. Joel Block

My name is Dr. Joel Block. Over the last 30 years, I’ve successfully treated thousands of men just like you in my New York offices. Yes, my real clinical offices, where real diplomas hang on the walls. Men come to me in tears, often having flown in from around the world, terrified of what might happen the next time they’re alone with a date or even a longtime lover or spouse…and can’t get an erection. Overcome by feelings of shame, anxiety and frustration, asking…

“Is there any way for me to get a reliable erection that doesn’t involve taking pills-for-life, a parade of awkward moments, never knowing if it’s really going to work, spending tens of thousands of dollars and the risk of me dying or getting one of those 4-hour erections that the commercials say you might get with pills…the ones that can cause permanent injury?”

Short answer. YES! A thousand time yes.

For all but a small subset of men who have either organic issues (like a radical prostatectomy) or more involved psychological issues, there is another way. One that will allow you to reclaim reliable erections FOR LIFE without the risk, embarrassment or cost of pills, bizarre herbal potions or permanently-inured penises.

ORDER YOUR RISK-FREE ED THERAPY PROGRAM TODAY – JUST $97!

I’ve Devoted My Life To Helping Men Just Like You…

Dr. Block

As a senior psychologist at North Shore-Long Island Jewish Health System in NY, I’ve supervised a major hospital’s Sexuality Center for decades, treating thousands of individuals and couples with sexual challenges.

I’ve become known as the doctor of last resort.

Men from all walks of life, from powerful CEOs to college students, have flown in from around the word to work with me after having failed at every other type of treatment, drugs included (yes, they don’t always work and even when they do, it’s not unusual for them to stop working without notice, until you fix the REAL problem).

I became so proficient at treating sexual problems deemed by so many others “unsolvable,” I was appointed to train doctoral interns in sex therapy and eventually appointed an Assistant Clinical Professor of Psychiatry on the faculty of Einstein College of Medicine and a Diplomate of the American Board of Professional Psychology.

You may also have seen me featured in a variety of newspapers and magazines, as well as being a guest on:

•Today,

•Good Morning America,

•Charlie Rose,

•Countless radio shows, including Playboy Radio.

And, I have also been a psychology consultant to ABC. You may have also come across one of the many books on love relationships and sexuality I’ve written, including:

Also, and this is really important…I’m not affiliated with any pharmaceutical company or herbal remedy purveyor.

I have no agenda to try to sell you on a lifetime of dependence on their supposed solutions. I don’t get paid to recommend them, I don’t profit if you take them. I am completely independent, which makes it easier for me to stand up and reveal what’s really going on…

The reason I’m writing this is to share with you an option that you’re not being told about. In fact, the potion-pushers are spending billions to keep you from learning it.

ORDER YOUR RISK-FREE ED THERAPY PROGRAM TODAY – JUST $97!

The Day Big Drug Companies Fooled The World…

Back in the 1990s, researchers at a major drug company discovered that a highly-aggressive class of drugs known as PDE5 inhibitors, which were developed to treat hypertension and angina, failed miserably, but seemed to have a side effect. They were causing erections in some men. Clinical trials were re-tooled, the FDA was put on notice, pills were approved and the pharmaceutical companies began to wage a multibillion-dollar advertising propaganda campaign in an effort to convince you to hand your sex life over to their pills and pay them for the rest of your life.

But, there was a problem…

These drugs were originally intended to treat life-threatening conditions. They are very strong, very serious drugs. And, they carry a laundry list of potential dangers and contraindications.

In the context of saving your life, you might be able to justify the potential dangers posed. But, in the quest for an erection, the risks become extremely difficult to justify.

CIALIS®, LEVITRA®, VIAGRA® and Other “PDE5 inhibitors” Exposed

Watching the TV ads with silver-haired men giving their adoring wives and girlfriends that manly wink, you’d think medication was the dream solution. Pop a pill, shuffle off to the bedroom, have sex, get on your hog and ride into the sunset with your manhood reclaimed.

But, did you ever notice anything else about those ads?

Like the fact that nearly HALF of the ad time is taken up by a laundry list of everything that can go wrong, even horribly wrong, just minutes after their prescription medication enters your system?

Before you consider resorting to drug-induced erections, you may want to know about these potential side-effects. 

When you take PDE5-inhibitors, you may suffer:

A sudden, unsafe drop in blood pressure.

An uncontrollable erection that does not go down and causes long-term injury to your penis and your ability to ever get hard again.

Loss of vision or impaired vision

Loss of hearing without any warning

Headaches

Facial flushing

Stomach pain

Blue-tinted vision (I did not make that up)

Blurred vision

Sensitivity to light

Severe hypotension

Heart attack

Ventricular arrhythmias, and

Stroke

And, this doesn’t even include the huge list of drug and condition contraindications that when, mixed with ED drugs, have been investigated as a factor in more than 200 reported deaths.

And, here’s something else the drug-companies will never tell you…

It’s not unusual for ED drugs to stop working, without notice…

That’s right, it’s entirely possible that you’ll pop a pill hoping for a lightning rod at that critical moment…and end up with a wet noodle.

Even if it works once, it may well NOT work at some point in the future. And, the thing is, you’ll never get any warning before the pill leaves you limp. The only way you’ll know the pill has failed is when you reach that critical moment…and nothing happens.

How can this be? Because the drugs don’t actually start your erection, they only make it work better AFTER your brain is sufficiently aroused. It’s your BRAIN that lights your fire and gets your juices flowing. And, that only happens when you’re psychologically in the place you need to be. When you’ve taken care of…

The critical mindset fixes that need to be made for you to get hard, drugs or no drugs.

So, the bad news is ED drugs will likely never give you RELIABLE erections. Even if they work once, you’ll always be left wondering…

“Is this the day I go down in flames?”

Because your real problem is likely not in your penis, it’s in your head.

And, even if you could rely on pills (which you can’t)

Have you ever added up what it’ll cost you to rent your erection for life?

Do you have any idea what the real economic cost will be to you? I always knew ED drugs were insanely expensive, but when a pharmacist friend recently reminded me, if you get your drugs through legitimate channels, the average pill cost is about $20, I was floored. Think about that for a minute. If you had drug-induced sex only once a week, your penis pills would end up costing you more than $1,000 a year. Bump that to twice a week and you’re over $2,000 a year. Now, extend that out over the next 20 or 30 years, that’s…

$20,000 to $60,000…to rent your own erection once or twice a week!

So, we now know that ED-drugs can:

Cause permanent-injury to your penis, debilitating-illness, disability and even death,

Stop working at any given moment without any notice, and

Cost you $20,000 – $60,000 for life

By now, you’ve got to be wondering something…

If this is all true, then why do some doctors prescribe it so readily?

Reason #1: A Small Percentage of Men Actually DO Need Pills

A small percentage, those who have what we call an “organic” basis for ED, like having undergone a radical prostatectomy or having serious heart disease, may be best served by pills (though certain heart conditions may also make medication unsafe). Though, truth is, even if that’s you, pills may still not work. Because even when an organic basis for ED is present, there is also ALWAYS a psychological basis. And, if that’s left unaddressed…it’s not unusual for the drugs to outright fail.

Reason #2: Most Doctors Do Not Know About Drug-Free Mindset-based Treatment

As a clinical psychologist who is also on the faculty at Einstein Medical School in NYC, I’ve specialized in the area of sexual dysfunction for more than 30 years. I’ve been at the forefront of research. I live and breathe this every day. But, truth is, most physicians don’t. For decades, they’d routinely send patients to psychologists or psychiatrists for treatment. But, they had little or no exposure to my highly-specialized area of practice or the highly-effective non-drug treatments I’ve used to overcome ED in my patients every day for decades. And, nowadays, truth is, it’s often easier to just offer drugs. In this case, easier is often the worst thing you can do.

Reason #3: Big Pharma Is Spending Billions to Brainwash You Into Thinking Drug-Induced Erections Are Your Only Option

When you’re constantly barraged with propaganda that tells you drugs are the only real solution, there’s good chance you’re going to go to your doctor and ask for that drug, whether it’s your best option or not. Because you don’t know there’s a different way…a better way.

And, when patients come in pleading for fast and easy pills, it’s hard to say no, especially when you’re not well-versed in the mindset-based solution that, once learned, costs nothing for life and dramatically improves not only your sex-life, but your relationship and life.

So, now you know the truth about ED drugs.

You’ve finally seem how horrible a a choice they are for all but a few men who’ve got no other choice.

But, I’m betting, especially if you’ve been searching online, there’s another option you’ve run into…

ORDER YOUR RISK-FREE ED THERAPY PROGRAM TODAY – JUST $97!

For most men, your real problem is not in your penis, it’s in your head.

That doesn’t mean it’s not real. It is VERY REAL!

But, it’s not about the plumbing, it’s about the crippling, anxiety-producing, confidence-shattering thoughts, concerns and fears that are cutting off blood flow to a penis that’s otherwise fully capable of getting reliably rock-hard.

Which is why I’ve distilled my decades of practice into a clinically-validated, step-by-step, home-based, drug-free, herb-free, supplement-free (meaning scam-free), totally-discrete, lasting program that:

Gives you back dependable, rock-hard erections

Frees you from being shackled to medication for life that can kill or maim you, stop working without notice and cost tens-of-thousands

Stops you from buying or dying from rogue herbal remedies online or on the street

Eliminates potentially mortifying pill-popping moments

Puts and end to the shame, anxiety and fear about not being able to “get it up.”

Is free for life, once you understand and master the techniques

Has zero side-effects or risk factors (beyond massive gains in confidence)

Can be mastered in a matter of weeks or months in total privacy without ever having to visit a doctors office or healthcare professional

Was developed, tested and validated over more than 30 years in a clinical setting, and…

Is virtually guaranteed to work for YOU.

It bypasses your plumbing and goes straight to the heart of the problem…YOUR MIND

ORDER YOUR RISK-FREE ED THERAPY PROGRAM TODAY – JUST $97!

Component #1: The Mind Over ED Manual

The foundation component of the ED Brain Breakthrough program is the 50-page Mind Over ED Manual. It’s packed with information that will quickly transform the way you feel about your ED, yourself and your partner, then reveal the heart of the proven treatment protocol developed over 30 years and tested and refined on thousands of patients.

Here’s a sampling of what you’ll discover:

How to overcome the mental barriers to getting and staying hard

How to maintain stronger erections that last longer

How to become a better lover, regardless of whether you have trouble getting hard

How to talk with your partner about sex and what’s going on with your erections in a way that makes you both comfortable

How to rapidly overcome performance anxiety and reclaim your erection

How to take the pressure off by refocusing on your partner

The Guide Book will also:

Shatter the biggest myths about losing your erection, expose what’s really happening and how to get back to great sex.

Walk you through a custom Sexual Response Assessment that will help you determine the exact steps and techniques needed to rediscover regular, strong, lasting erections

Reveal the surprising link between morning erections, sexual erections and the need for medication.

Let you understand the difference between the physical and mental components of ED and what the impact of each is on your specific erectile challenges

Identify the 6 major physical causes of ED and guide you through determining which, if any, you have

Reveal the rarely discussed, yet erection-killing 7 psychological causes of ED

Give you a window, maybe for the first time ever, into what’s REALLY going through a woman’s head when you can’t get it up or keep it up

Discover the 3 things you need to do immediately upon losing an erection if you want any chance of getting it back while still in the moment

Learn the true effect of “blame” on your ability to get and stay hard

Share the 4 things your partner can do to help you get your erection back

Reveal the 7 huge mistakes most men make when trying to keep your erection strong

Give you the 1 question you need to ask your doctor about every medicine they ever prescribe

Explain what’s really happening when the pills don’t make you hard

Uncover a single technique that will not only enhance your sexual prowess, it’ll help get, maintain and recover strong, lasting erections

Bust the myths about what’s natural with age and what’s just in your head

Explain why trying to get hard will almost always make you soft

Show you the 4 critical guidelines to recapturing intimacy with your lover

Reveal the 5 key steps for a lifetime of hot sex

Tell you what single test to ask your doctor for in order to tell if you’re one of small percentage of men who may be best served by medication

Share the 5 thought-based techniques that will allow you to literally think your erection back to life. 

Here’s a quick look at the Chapters in The Mind Over ED Manual

Introduction

Chapter 1: Under The Hood: Anatomy of an Erection

Chapter 2: What Erectile Dysfunction Is…and Isn’t

Chapter 3: Physical Causes of Erectile Dysfunction

Chapter 4: Psych Cause of Erectile Dysfunction

Chapter 5: First Aid To Save Your Relationship

Chapter 6: Seven Ways to Keep Your Erection Strong

Chapter 7: See It, Believe It, And It Will Happen

Chapter 8: Change Your Focus, Grow Your Erection

Chapter 9: Four Key Guidelines For A Return To Hot Sex

Chapter 10: Five Steps for a Lifetime of Hot Sex

Appendix A: Uncommon Erection Wisdom

Appendix B: Think Your Way to Erection

Value: $149

Mind Over ED Mindset Training Audio & Script

In less than 10 minutes a day, this mindset and relaxation training audio will begin to transform your thought patterns around ED and reprogram you to reverse your ED and be able to reclaim your erections. Use this for a few weeks, then graduate to the included 30-second script that you can simply memorize, then play in your mind just before sex to help ensure a powerful erection and great sex.

Value: $49

The Mind Over ED Complete Lover Secret Dossier

The Mind Over ED Complete Lover Secret Dossier is packed with precious strategies, secrets and techniques designed to turn your ED on its head and use it to make you an even better lover than before ED!

You’ll discover:

How to go from an adequate lover to a super lover AND relieve performance pressure

How ANY man can please his partner AND take the pressure off his penis practically instantly

The SECRET you may already know but aren’t using to connect with your partner sexually—and it doesn’t require an erection! 

The 3 steps to surrendering to your partner that will actually put you in control

The 6 eye opening tactics for super-boosting your arousal and your partner’s arousal instantly

3 easy- to- do things that will tempt your partner to tell her friends that you deserve the GREAT LOVER award—AND will also help you relax and enjoy sex again!

10 super-charged strategies for bringing romance into your relationship AND restoring erectile confidence

5 crucial steps that will keep you aroused and avoid the distractions that undermine your erections

To identify the 3 Sex Bandits and the 5 steps to rid them from your life

How to keep rolling sexually and enjoying it no matter how old you are

Value: $49

Your Most Intimate Sex Questions Answered

Over 30 years, I’ve been asked every question on the planet about sex, including ones you’d never even have the guts to ask, even anonymously online…but you desperately want the answers to.

Your Most Intimate Sex Questions Answered isn’t just a book, it’s a veritable top-secret roadmap to the answers you’ve been dying to know for years. It’s filled, from end-to-end, with all the private questions that men and women have asked me about sex.

You’ll discover amazingly frank, but sensitive, clinically grounded answers designed for you and your partner, and while I include a lot of very direct, how to (and, how not-to) insights, strategies and techniques, what you’ll learn goes way beyond that.

You’ll literally benefit from the best, most powerful, sometimes even provocative advice shared with my private patients over 30 years. It’s the next best thing to being on the couch in my office, and getting to ask that deep, dark question you’d kill to have answered, but would never dare to ask in person. The one that’ll not only let you experience your fantasy sex, but blow the mind of your partner.

Value: $49

Five Fast Fixes To Overcome Performance Anxiety—

This one bonus is actually like a cheat sheet for the entire ED Brain Breakthrough program. Fact is, performance anxiety is the single most common cause of erectile dysfunction; these 5 fast fixes literally have the power to stop ED in tracks for so many men. It includes:

The one thing you must say to partner when you experience ED that’ll make everything a lot better

The one way you should never think about sex if you want to be able to get hard

The one thing to avoid in life in order to have better erections more consistently

The one thing you need to do minutes BEFORE sex in order get and stay hard

How you must redefine sex in order to take back your erection

Value: $29

Five Steps to Shaking Off the Sexual Blahs

It can happen to all of us, especially if it is coupled with ED. This report reveals 5 clinically supported tactics for getting out of sexual quicksand fast, including insights, advice, recommendations and strategies you’d never imagine would make a real difference…but can have a huge impact.

Value: $29

Ten Steps to Becoming Sexually Active After Divorce

Divorce is epidemic and so are sexual issues as a result. This special report shares a set of highly-effective, sometimes even counterintuitive strategies that will empower you to get past the trauma of divorce and not only reclaim “a” sex life, but revel in the best sex you’ve ever had.

Value: $29

Total Value of the Mind Over ED program = more than $350…

ORDER YOUR RISK-FREE ED THERAPY PROGRAM TODAY – JUST $97!

Compared To a Lifetime of Medication, The Cost of The

Mind Over ED™ Program Essentially Rounds To Zero…

We’ve already seen how drug and herbal approaches can end up costing you $20,000 to $60,000. And, while I have a perpetually packed patient schedule, you’d very likely end up paying me $2,000 to $20,000 for private therapy.

Which is why I’m so excited to be able to share Mind Over ED™ program with you at a price that, comparatively, is one step away from me practically handing you the keys to your erection for free.

For a short time, the entire Mind Over ED program is only…$97.This version will give you immediate access to a private online vault where you’ll be able to discretely download everything within minutes.

How Does Mind Over ED Stack Up?

Thousands of Men Have Already Reversed Their ED…

I am blessed to receive phone calls and hugs from patients every day who’ve experienced the impact of the Mind Over ED.

All told thousands have experienced what you’re about to experience.

But, as I’m sure you can imagine, it’s not the easiest thing to get anyone to go public with their struggles with ED and their dramatic, drug-free results.

Even so, here are a few stories from men who’ve experienced what it’s like to reclaim their erections, their sex-life and, often, their relationships using the knowledge and techniques included in The Mind Over ED program…

Here’s A Snapshot Of Everything You’ll get with the Mind Over ED Program

Unconditional 60-day, 100% Money-Back Guarantee

The Mind Over ED™ program has been developed, tested and refined with real patients in a clinical setting for more than 30 years.

Still, I realize there are so many predatory companies and people peddling sham solutions, I’ve decided to take on 100% of the risk.

So, here’s what I’m doing…

Order Mind Over ED, use it exactly as instructed for 60-days (it won’t work if you let it languish…along with your sex life). I guarantee, if you follow every step in the process, you will experience a substantial improvement in your ability to get hard again, be more intimate and reclaim your sex life.

If for any reason, you do not experience satisfactory results simply contact www.clickjbank.com before the end of 60-days.Please bear in mind, the program works, but you must work it and give it time. If still not satisfied…We’ll issue you a refund for 100% of the purchase price, no questions asked.

Sounds fair to you, right?

Can You Think Of A Legitimate Reason Not To Try?

The Mind Over ED is based on my work with thousands of men just like you over more than 30 years. It’s been tested, refined and honed for decades. It just plain works…and it won’t put you at risk. That’s why I’m so comfortable offering you a full 60-day, 100% money-back guarantee.

But, here’s the thing, Mind Over ED only works when you take action.

Reading this far, nodding your head and agreeing with everything I’ve shared won’t give you back reliable erections, your sex-life, your self-regard or your lover. For that to happen, you need to act. In fact, the simple fact that you’ve read this far proves how committed you are to finally putting your ED behind you.

I wonder what might happen to your confidence, your relationships and your sex life if you stepped up right now and said…

“YES Dr. B! I’m Ready to reverse my ED today?!”

Get instant access to comprehensive, step-by-step solution, download it now and start benefiting from the program minutes after you’ve ordered.

In order to ensure discretion, you will be emailed a generic download link with no indication of the content. It will come from Dr. Block and the subject line will read, “Men’s Health Update: Download Information.”

Get it in a matter of seconds when you order it right now.

Congrats on choosing to reclaim reliable, drug-free erections for life! 

Joel Block, Ph.D.

Clinical Psychologist & Founder of The Mind Over ED™ program

P.S. – If you were on the fence before discovering the truth about what really works and what’s more than a bit terrifying, I completely understand. I’m so glad to have been able to open your eyes to the truth and take the “drugs-for-life” weight off your shoulders. Now, you can finally get back to the business of rejuvenating your sex-life, confidence and relationships without worrying about side-effects, costs and pill-popping moments.

[agentmarymargaretskitz]

The Future is Female

Another installation in the Roommates AU created by @incendiaglacies and myself.

AO3

“I don’t know if I’m ready for this,” Gideon admitted as she sat down on the couch.

“Me neither,” Felicity added from where she sat by the tv as she connected one of the cables to her laptop. “It feels like they just announced a new one.”

“That’s what it always feels like,” Lily reminded them as she took a sip from her coffee mug.

“Exactly,” Caitlin nodded in agreement from where she sat between Gideon and Lily. “One minute we’re mourning the current one and thinking the new guy will never live up to our expectations. Then we see one or two episodes and suddenly there’s no better Doctor.”

“True,” Gideon nodded. “Felicity, how much longer until we find out?”

“We should be able to see it any minute now,” Felicity stepped back from the laptop and television as they both came to life. “This should be over soon anyways. Once it is, we’ll finally get to see the face of the new Doctor.”

“Good,” Caitlin nodded as Felicity sat down in one of the chairs. “I’m happy this is happening on a day I don’t have to go in to work on. I can see it live and not have to worry about Cisco spoiling me.”

Schrodinger came padding into the room with a mew. The cat made his way over to where Felicity was sitting. He batted at Felicity’s leg.

“I’m excited about this,” Gideon stated as Felicity lifted their cat up onto her lap. “I’m also sad too. Twelve has been my favorite of the Doctors. I don’t want to see Peter Capaldi go.”

“Yeah,” Felicity nodded as she stroked Schrodinger’s fur. “Has anyone else ever noticed that he kind of looks like an older version of Rip? Or is it just me?”

“Huh,” Lily chewed her lip. “You know, I can see it.”

“There’s definitely a resemblance,” Caitlin agreed, a mischievous smile coming to her face. “Is that why he’s your favorite, Gideon?”

Gideon rolled her eyes. “No. I’ve always liked Twelve. Remember when people wanted to reject the show just because the new Doctor was older?”

“Ugh,” Felicity snorted and shook her head. “That was ridiculous. I knew I was sticking with the show no matter what actor they cast.”

“Same,” Caitlin echoed.

“Well, I loved Eleven,” Lily sighed. “I’m never going to be over that goodbye. But the Doctor’s what, over two thousand years old at this point?”

“Do you count the four point five billion years he spent in the confession dial?” Felicity interrupted.

“Debatable,” her friend shrugged. “The point is that the Doctor isn’t young. He’s not always going to look young.”

“Or like David Tennant,” Caitlin smiled dreamily. “He’ll be my favorite forever.”

“Well, then we’re all one for one,” Felicity said. “Gideon for Twelve, Lily for Eleven, Cait for Ten, and then me for Nine. Time to see if any of us are going to have a change of heart.”

“Doubtful,” Gideon shook her head. “It’s only one clip. I think I’ll-“

“Shush!” Felicity hissed and pointed to the screen. “No more talking. It’s starting!”

              The four girls all leaned forward. Lily set down her mug on the coffee table and Gideon clenched handfuls of the blanket on her lap as the clip started to play. This Doctor was walking through a forest, wearing an outfit similar to the Twelfth Doctor. The hood was pulled up, so they couldn’t make out who it was. Seconds later, the hood came down to reveal a female’s face framed by blonde hair. All the roommates gasped as the Thirteenth Doctor began to smile and step towards her TARDIS.

“Oh my god!” Caitlin blurted out.

“Introducing Jodie Whittaker the Thirteenth Doctor!” Felicity squealed, clutching Schrodinger tight to her chest. “The Doctor’s a lady!”

“The Doctor’s a girl!” Lily shouted, tackling Caitlin in a hug. The former fell off the couch with a laugh. “This is awesome!”

“Hold up,” Caitlin wriggled out to pull her phone from her pocket. “Cisco’s calling me. Should I put him on speaker?”

“Why not?” Gideon grinned as she hugged Lily once her friend got back up on the couch. “We can all freak out together.”

“I predict we’re going to hear screaming,” Felicity said, hugging Schrodinger enough that the cat started to yowl a little.

“Let’s see,” Caitlin answered the call. “Cisco, did you-“

“CAITLIN, I AM DEAD!”

“Hi, dead,” Gideon deadpanned. “I’m Gideon.”

There was a pause. “Ummm, Gideon?”

“You’re on speaker, Cisco,” Caitlin told him. “I take it you saw it too.”

“Thirteen is female, Caitlin! She’s a girl! The future is female!”

“You sound happy about that,” Gideon remarked.

“Because it’s awesome! Barry’s over here and he’s nerding out to Iris over his phone.”

“So you called us to nerd out with?” Lily teased.

“Oh come on, you guys love me. How excited did you all get? I think that might have been you four I heard screaming in the distance.”

“Twitter!” Felicity gasped suddenly. “I have to check it out! People are going to be posting their reactions!”

“Read them aloud!” Cisco’s voice was a tad on the shrill side. “I have to hear these!”

              The scream that came from across the hall instantly sent a jolt of fear through Rip. Jonas jumped a little as he stood back up from taking off his shoes. Rip was standing by the open door of their apartment and looked over to his neighbors. More screams joined in with the first. One of them sounded like Gideon’s.

              Rip’s brain went straight for the worst case scenarios. Had someone broken in and was now attacking Gideon and the girls? Was the intruder armed? Did the girls have enough to fend them off? Had one of them gotten hurt? Or what if something had gone wrong with all the scientific samples and equipment they had lying around? Could they be in danger of a biological weapon?

“Jonas, stay here,” Rip ordered his son as he bolted towards their closet. There had to be something in there he could use.

“Daddy, are the girls okay?” Jonas asked nervously while Rip rummaged through the closet.

“I don’t know,” he muttered as he finally grabbed an old cricket bat. It had been part of an old Halloween costume and he wasn’t sure why he kept it, but he was glad that he had it now. “But I’m going to find out.”

              He hurried back to the doorway and snatched the spare key to the girls’ apartment that Gideon had given him for emergencies. The screams were still happening as Rip fumbled with getting the key into their lock. If he was too late and Gideon or one of the other girls was hurt, he would never forgive himself. As soon as he felt the lock click, Rip swung the door open and brandished the cricket bat.

Schrodinger bolted out with a sharp meow. Rip looked up from the cat to the sight of the apartment, where he saw no signs of injury or struggle. Caitlin and Gideon were sitting on the couch together, a phone between them. Felicity was looking at something on her laptop and squealing sporadically. Lily was pacing back and forth over by the window, talking fast and gesturing with her free hand. All of them stopped their actions as soon as they saw Rip though.

“I-I heard screaming,” he told them, lowering the cricket bat. “You lot had me thinking someone had broken in or one of you was hurt.”

“Oh, is that Rip?” Cisco’s voice came from the phone between Caitlin and Gideon. “Come on, he just came because he was worried about-“

“Bye, Cisco!” Caitlin said loudly before ending the call.

Gideon smiled bashfully. “Sorry to worry you. We’re perfectly fine, just a little over excited.”

“We have good reason to be,” Lily said from where she was standing before returning to her call.

“She’s been on the phone with Ray for a while,” Felicity said in a hushed tone followed by a wink. “He’s having a field day over this too.”

Rip frowned. “Field day over what?”

“They’ve just announced the next Doctor,” Gideon said with a wide grin. “There was a clip that played and Felicity worked some magic so we could watch it live.”

Rip perked up. He had been a fan of Doctor Who for quite some time. He’d even introduced Jonas to a few of the episodes. In the chaos of getting his son to his soccer game and plans for an upcoming catering event, he had forgotten they were announcing the new Doctor today. “Who is it?”

“Jodie Whittaker,” Gideon replied. “Thirteen will officially be the first female Doctor.”

“It’s about time,” Rip sighed in relief. “We’ve had a female Master already. Although I will miss Peter Capaldi. Twelve’s been my favorite in the new series.”

“What a coincidence,” Caitlin straightened up and elbowed Gideon. “Guess who Gideon’s favorite is?”

“You’re a Twelve fan?” Rip questioned.

Gideon nodded. “It used to be Seven, but now it’s Twelve.”

“Finally,” Rip smiled. “You know, it’s really difficult to find people who like him best.”

Gideon slapped her hand against the cushion of the couch. “Exactly!”

“Wait, they both have the same favorite Doctor?” Lily called out. “Hey, Ray, guess what?”

“They don’t appreciate him as much as they should,” Gideon explained, rising from the couch. “Schrodinger is the exception though. If I’m watching an episode with Twelve, he’ll come padding right in and go up to the screen.”

“He does that with all of us whenever we watch something, Gideon,” Felicity said. “Remember when he watched Star Wars?”

“Or Roman Holiday?” Caitlin added.

“He did it during The Princess Bride too,” Lily chimed in before explaining to Ray that she was talking about Schrodinger.

Gideon huffed. “Well, he still does it. Then he comes over and curls up with me to watch the rest of it.”

Rip smiled at the mental image. “That sounds nice.”

“It is. He’s somewhat cuddly. It makes it a lot less lonely to watch those episodes then.”

He cleared his throat. “If you ever want someone to watch a Twelve episode with, don’t be afraid to call me up. I wouldn’t mind watching with you.”

Gideon smiled. “I’ll remember that.”

“Hey, not to interrupt this,” Felicity said. “But where’s Schrodinger?”

Rip looked back to the still open door of the apartment. “He bolted past me when I came in. I think your excitement was a bit too much for him.”

“You were squeezing him pretty tight,” Caitlin told Felicity.

The blonde groaned. “Yeah, that was my bad.”

“What’s happening?” Lily asked as she came back over.

“Schrodinger’s gone,” Gideon told her. “We need to find him.”

Rip looked over to his own apartment door, which was still open. He made his way over there quickly. “Jonas?”

No response.

“Jonas? Jonas?”

His son came out from his room. “Are the girls okay, Daddy?”

“They’re fine,” Rip explained. “They just got a little excited about something. Schrodinger escaped from their apartment when I went over. He didn’t come running in here, did he?”

His son shook his head from side to side. “I didn’t hear anything.”

“Oh dear,” Gideon said from the doorway as Rip returned to her and the others. Her brows were knit with concern. “So he’s somewhere in the building then.”

“That means he could be on any of the floors,” Felicity muttered. “Unless he found a way outside. I mean, he’s pretty clever. If he got out of the building, there’s no telling where he went. What if he ran into the middle of the road? Oh, if he did that-”

Caitlin stared open mouthed at her friend. “Felicity!”

“I don’t want to think about that,” Lily moaned.

“Well, the sooner we find him, then the less we have to worry about that happening,” Gideon said firmly, putting a stop to the horrible scenarios that were probably all going through their minds. “Let’s split up and start looking. We can cover more ground that way.”

“I’ll call Cisco,” Caitlin said, retreating to the apartment. “If Schrodinger got outside, he could find him on his way over.”

“I’ll help too,” Rip added, stepping forward.

Gideon shook her head. “You don’t have to, Rip. It’s not your cat.”

“But I didn’t stop him when he ran out your door,” he countered. “If I had, then you wouldn’t be worried about him.”

“That’s very kind of you,” Gideon nodded.

“Besides, Jonas would never forgive me if we didn’t find Schrodinger. He loves that cat too much, even if it’s not his own.”

His neighbor chuckled. “Well, I’m going to search around this floor if you want to come with me.”

“If you don’t mind, I will,” Rip replied. “The more eyes we have, the sooner we’ll find him.”

[tfloosh]

Hazardous

Look @thewhitegoddesshylia! I finished it! 

Okay but this is long, like 7134 words long. But it’s 7134 words of vigilante!TP Zelda flirting with jewel theif!TP Link, and I’m so proud of it. Enjoy Zelink lovers!

For Zelda Harkinian, discovering that her parents had kept a secret lair hidden deep in the mountain their estate sat on was one thing. Finding out from her old nanny turned housekeeper that they had been planning to take to the streets as vigilantes before the plane crash had been a whole ‘nother jar of marbles.

At first, she had been a little offended that her parents hadn’t included her in their secret plans. She was an amazing gymnast thanks to years of lessons when she was younger, and she was fairly proficient at martial arts since her parents had insisted she learn to defend herself at a young age. Impa had assured her that her parents intended to include her in their vigilantism once they deemed it safe enough, but Zelda was still irrationally angry. She had every right to be, she told herself. They left their billion dollar company to their twenty-two year old daughter who barely had her bachelor’s in business under her belt, kept this potentially life altering secret from her for two years according to Impa, and they had left her. She was still young, still at the beginning of her life; how was she going to make it without them?

After about a week of crying, attending boring board meetings to make her new position as CEO of the Harkinian Corporation official, and releasing her tension via punching bags, Zelda boldly declared to Impa that she would follow her parents’ footsteps and become a vigilante. She spent the next two weeks after modifying her mother’s intended costume and adding some of the gold accents from her father’s. Her parents had apparently already raided Harkinian Corp.’s technology division for toys and goodies, so Zelda didn’t have to worry there. There were grappling guns, various stunning devices, smoke bombs for a quick getaway, several nonlethal weapons, hacking devices, and even a state of the art detective’s kit filled with a fingerprint duster, tracking devices, bugging equipment, and evidence bags. Zelda left the detective kit behind for her first outing; she would work up to solving crimes, she figured.

Filling her gold utility belt with everything she deemed useful, Zelda donned her outfit and readied herself for her first adventure as the Loftwing, named after the mythical birds that protected Hylians in ancient times. It took her about an hour of jumping around buildings to get used to gliding with her cape, another hour of practicing to actually land gracefully, and then a solid three hours of waiting to catch two muggers and one drug dealer. All in all, Zelda felt pretty good about her first night out. It was exhilarating. A happiness she never thought she’d feel again after losing her parents had filled her. It was as if her parents were there with her, encouraging her, lending their spirits.

It didn’t take Zelda long to get addicted. Soon she was out every single night searching for bad guys and stopping crimes. Of course the police eventually caught on to her actions and branded her a public menace, but they quickly changed their tune when Loftwing ended up being the only person who could subdue the rampaging meta-human (‘cause what else do you call a guy who could turn into a wild boar at will) that attacked downtown Kakariko about two months after Zelda became the Loftwing.

After bringing the meta-human in, Loftwing’s public image became overwhelmingly positive, despite the grumblings of some older police captains and city councilmen. The newspapers had branded her Kakariko’s Golden Girl, and the mayor had even held a clichéd ceremony to give her a key to the city.

Life had been a fairly simple balance of signing important documents, attending board meetings, and patrolling nightly. That is until he came along.

Zelda had been about to turn in early from a rather uneventful night patrolling Kakariko when her scanners picked up an alarm going off at the Goron Jewel Refinery. An interesting target since most of the ore there was essentially worthless hunks of rock, but Zelda figured she should check it out anyway. It was easy enough to sneak in (something she would have to talk to the Gorons about), but the refinery seemed deserted. She carefully made her way to the room where the alarm was set off. The only thing noticeably different about the empty room was an open window a little too high for any normally motivated criminal. Whoever the thief was, they came here with a purpose.

Zelda continued to search nearby areas in the refinery. An outline of the building she had pulled up told her the storage room wasn’t too far; she headed in that direction. She opened the door and was instantly blinded by the bright fluorescent lights. It took a moment for the lenses in her domino mask to adjust, but by then the element of surprise was gone.

“You took longer than I expected, Loftwing,” a smooth, masculine voice called.

Zelda’s head whipped around, just in time for her to raise her arms and block the kick headed her way.

“You know this isn’t the best place to go jewel shopping,” Zelda grunted as she responded with a couple of punches and a kick of her own.

“Now who said I was shopping for jewels?” the man laughed as he disengaged her attack.

Zelda finally got a good look at the thief. He was slightly taller than her with wind swept, dark blonde hair and blue and red lines painted across his forehead and cheeks. His eyes were only white voids behind his mask, but his smirk was wide and cocky.

“We are in a jewel refinery,” Zelda raised an eyebrow. “Unless you really think you can make off with some of this machinery without being noticed.”

The thief simply laughed, “There technically aren’t any jewels here, only ore.”

“That’s not the best thing to make a ring out of,” Zelda quipped as she charged him to trade another round of blows.

“Never thought you’d be one for sarcastic comments, Loftwing,” the thief grabbed ahold of her leg as she spun to kick him. Zelda couldn’t break his hold, so she was stuck with her leg trapped against his shoulder. A mischievous smile spread over the thief’s face as he yanked her leg higher, causing Zelda to lose her balance and practically fall on him. Her hands fell to his shoulders, their faces inches apart, and she essentially stretched into a split against his body.

His grin darkened dangerously as he glanced down, “Flexible, nice.”

Zelda wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled with all her body weight to bring him to the ground, “You could at least try and stay professional, you pervert.”

“I prefer Shadow, if you don’t mind,” Shadow quickly broke out of her hold and both scrambled to get to their feet. “And you’ve kept me here longer than I intended, beautiful.” He swiftly dropped and swept his leg out to knock Zelda’s legs out from under her.

He ran over to where he left his bag of stolen ore, and gave her a cocky wink before declaring, “Catch you later, Loftwing.” He scrambled out of one of the storage room windows and disappeared into the night.

Zelda was still riling ten minutes later when the police finally showed up. She gave them a description of the thief and what he took along with his chosen codename of ‘Shadow’ before declaring she wouldn’t let him get away next time.

She took the next day off from work to train with Impa so she would be prepared for her next meeting with Shadow. She researched the type of ore Shadow had stolen and what it could be used for. She even looked up the markings that had been painted on his face to see if that would give her a clue to who Shadow was or where he came from.

And so Zelda waited. She kept an eye out for suspicious robberies and was always the first to respond to jewelry store break-ins for ten days before she met Shadow again.

It was at the Kakariko Natural History Museum. Zelda had chased Shadow from the Minerals of the Earth section up two floors and across the building to the History of the Sheikah Tribe exhibit.

“This is quite refreshing,” Shadow’s voice seemed to bounce off the walls, and Zelda couldn’t pinpoint his location in the exhibit. No wonder he gave himself the codename ‘Shadow.’ “Usually I’m the one chasing after girls.”

“Don’t flatter yourself,” Zelda called to the semidarkness. “I’m really only after those jewels you stole. Gonna add them to your collection of ore?”

“Trying to get me to reveal my evil master plan?” Shadow tutted. “Now that just won’t do, Loftwing.”

“As if a petty jewel thief would have any master plans,” Zelda taunted. She was so close to finding him. She just needed to keep him talking.

“Oh Loftwing, you wound me,” Shadow sighed dramatically. “You really only see me as a petty jewel thief?”

“I also see you as quite the arrogant ass if that helps,” Zelda smiled triumphantly as she rounded a corner to see Shadow with his back to her crouching behind a display. But it seemed the jewel thief was impossible to sneak up on. Shadow quickly turned to intercept Zelda as she ran toward him.

“I’m only an arrogant ass for you, beautiful,” he smirked as they sparred amongst the displays.

Shadow soon found her weakness; she was lessening the strength of her attacks to prevent damage to the exhibit, but it hindered her maneuverability substantially. So with a simple move that Zelda wouldn’t block for fear of breaking the display glass and harming the artifact within, Shadow had Zelda trapped face-first against the glass with her arms forced behind her.

“What’s your name?” he whispered into her ear.

Zelda answered with an attempt to kick his legs.

Shadow merely chuckled lowly, “Come on, beautiful. I only want to know your real name.”

“Like I would tell you,” Zelda said with as much acid as she could muster.

“Do you want to know why I led you here?” Shadow leaned down to rest his chin against her shoulder. Even with the pain in her arms, Zelda couldn’t help but notice how much of Shadow’s body was pressed up against her.

“It’s so we would be far enough away from the Minerals section to be undisturbed by the cops.”

Zelda gasped realizing he was right; the police would never come to this part of the museum when the crime occurred two floors below them.

“So we have all night alone,” his lips grazed her neck, and suddenly Zelda couldn’t breathe.

“Sheik,” she said, twisting her neck so he would no longer have access. “My name is Sheik.”

“Interesting name,” Shadow hummed. “Also the name of the ancient Sheikan warrior who protected the tribe during the Great War, so you’ll understand if I don’t believe you seeing as you’re trapped against a display describing his heroics.”

“Her,” Zelda panted, feeling far too hot with Shadow’s mouth so close to her skin. “Sheik was a woman.”

“Really?” his grip on her wrists slackened just a little. “You believe those old wives’ tales that Sheik was actually a woman?”

Zelda quickly broke his hold, flipping around and swiftly grabbing his wrists to stop his movement.

“Any intellectual who has actually spoken to a descendant of the Sheikah would know that Sheik was indeed a woman. A very badass woman, too.”

“Much like yourself, I presume,” Shadow flashed her a dazzling smile, but Zelda was ready this time.

“No more flirting for you, mister,” she dug out some industrial grade, nylon rope from her utility belt and tied his hands together. “Now are you going to answer my questions, or do I have to drag you straight to the police?”

“Will you let me go if I answer your questions?” Shadow countered.

“Of course not,” Zelda scoffed.

“Then I’m afraid we’re at an impasse, beautiful.”

Zelda didn’t like the smug grin that rested on his face. He had something up his sleeve, and she didn’t want to wait long enough for him to pull any tricks.

“I’m taking you down to the police,” she declared. But as she reached over to grab his wrists, Shadow hit her with a round house kick. Zelda fell backwards, hitting the back of her head against the display glass behind her. Her vision swirled. She looked up to see the hazy outline of Shadow waltzing toward her.

“I don’t have the time to waste breaking out of a cell, but it was a nice try,” he leaned down in front of her, but Zelda couldn’t make her limbs move to swipe at him. “I’ll just have to catch you later, beautiful.”

There was a slight pressure against the top of her head, and Zelda’s vision went black.

She was awoken by the police thirty minutes later. The detective on duty wanted to arrest her for trespassing, but once the security footage confirmed her story of fighting Shadow to regain the stolen gems, the detective reluctantly let her go free.

Impa checked her out once she got home. She wanted to call in sick to work again, but Impa advised her against it, stating that people might see notice a pattern if she doesn’t show up to work the day after every encounter Loftwing had with Shadow. So with no concussion to actually prevent her from going to Harkinian Corp. in the morning, Zelda reluctantly got up after three hours of sleep and dressed for work.

But Zelda could not keep her mind off Shadow. What were his plans? What was his motive? Where would he pop up next? Zelda was so consumed in her thoughts that she zoned out during two meetings with potential investors and had to continually ask her assistant to repeat herself whenever she was telling Zelda something.

Despite her exhaustion when she returned to the estate that evening, Zelda went straight to the secret lair to train with Impa.

“I think this constant vigilantism is causing you too much stress, Miss Zelda,” Impa said after their two hour work out. “It would be prudent for you to take a break.”

“Crime doesn’t take a break, Impa,” Zelda replied after she drank some water. “Besides, I can’t miss Shadow if he decides to rob another place.”

“Your desire to apprehend Shadow is clouding your judgement,” Impa fixed her with a stern look.

“Someone has to bring him in,” Zelda relied. “And the police certainly aren’t going to be able to do it.”

And so Impa reluctantly let Zelda go out on patrol, but only after getting her to promise that she would come in two hours earlier than she normally would.

Zelda hopped from building to building, making up her route as she went. Impa was right. Over the past two weeks or so, she had let Shadow consume her life outside of Loftwing, and she hadn’t even notice it happening. Was it because he was the first adversary she had come across that she couldn’t beat? Or could it be his cocky attitude? The way he was always incessantly flirting and how handsome he looked while fighting?

Woah, did she really just think Shadow was handsome? Where did that come from?

But before she could examine her strange thought train derailment, the police scanner on her communications unit reported a robbery at a jewelry store. Shadow was back to work quicker than she thought. Zelda made her way to the jewelry store, intent on paying him back for knocking her out last night.

She arrived at the jewelry store just as smoke started leaking out of the busted door, and Shadow was sneaking out via the roof. She followed him at a distance, hoping he would lead her to whatever hideout he probably used in the city. It was going well for about three blocks, and then he jumped over a fire escape, and she lost him. She walked to the edge of the building to see if he was down in the alley still running, but he was nowhere in sight.

“Yo! Loftwing!”

Or not.

Zelda turned around to see Shadow smiling mockingly at her. He gave her a tiny wave.

“I’m actually pretty glad you followed me away from the police. You see, I’ve got a bone to pick with you,” Shadow thrust an accusatory finger in her direction, his smile furrowing into a frown. “Why the hell did you have to tie me up in industrial grade rope, huh? I couldn’t get it off myself and had to ask my neighbor to untie me, and do you want to know what I had to wind up telling her as an excuse? That my girlfriend left me high and dry while we were playing at bondage!”

Zelda snorted before collapsing in giggles. She had no idea what she had been expecting Shadow to say, but it definitely wasn’t that.

“And the worst part is,” Shadow continued ranting. “She gave me this knowing smile like it was a hundred percent viable excuse. I don’t even have a girlfriend, man!”

Zelda couldn’t stop laughing. Her knees already felt weak, and her cheeks were beginning to hurt from smiling. She let Shadow continue to rant for five minutes before she held up a hand to stop him.

“Oh my Goddess,” she breathed deeply to try and stop the laughter that was still bubbling up. “You’re serious, aren’t you? That’s probably the best thing I’ve heard in my entire life.”

“I’m glad my embarrassing life stories amuse you,” Shadow griped.

Zelda rolled her eyes, her smile refusing to fall from her face just yet, “You’re the one who turned around just to tell me this story.”

“So you would feel guilty,” Shadow crossed his arms defiantly like a pouty child. “Not so you would laugh at me.”

“Then your story shouldn’t have been funny,” Zelda retorted with a smirk.

“I demand compensation,” Shadow grinned slyly. “Tell me your name, and I’ll consider us even.”

“So that’s your angle,” Zelda’s smile fell. There went the light mood. She stalked over to Shadow and rather violently prodded him in the chest with her finger.

“First of all, you are a criminal. The fact that I tied you up does not deserve compensation of any sort. Secondly, my name would absolutely not be equal compensation for tying you up. And most importantly, I will never tell you my name.”

Shadow laced a frown over his features and rubbed the spot Zelda had poked, “I’m hurt, Loftwing. I thought we had a real connection, one that could develop into something more.”

“Really?” Zelda couldn’t resist a weak jab at his chest that he easily blocked. “You could have fooled me with the way you knocked me out last night. You know the detective on duty wanted to arrest me for trespassing? Not cool, Shadow.” She threw another punch with a little more power behind it.

Shadow dodged with a laugh, “So are we going to fight over who had the worst night yesterday? ‘Cause I really think my story is totally worse.” He retaliated with a simple right hook Zelda easily blocked.

“Do you ever get tired of hearing yourself talk?” Zelda asked as she aimed a kick to Shadow’ stomach.

“Never, beautiful,” he laughed as they exchanged a few more blows. “It’s just a part of my charm.”

“I thought that was what the flirting was for,” Zelda snapped. Her punches were backed with more power, and Shadow actually grunted when one landed on his side.

“Awe, Loftwing,” he cooed in a way that would have been annoying if Zelda hadn’t interrupted him with a punch in the gut. “You aren’t jealous, are you? Come on, beautiful; you know I don’t flirt with anyone else when I try to escape. Not even the really cute cops, I promise.”

“Jealousy would imply actual feelings,” Zelda grunted as Shadow threw a particularly powerful punch her way. “And I don’t have any feelings for you.” A weird, twisty, churning feeling that had nothing to do with Shadow’s latest kick bloomed in her gut.

“That just means I have to try harder to wear you down,” Shadow chuckled. Zelda could swear he winked at her behind his mask.

“Oh that’s what we’re calling it now?” Zelda huffed as she sent another barrage of kicks at Shadow.

He blocked the kicks then swiftly wrapped his arm around Zelda’s waist and pulled her close to him.

“Why don’t we make this dance more literal?” he wiggled his eyebrows.

Zelda began to protest, but her hands were pressed against Shadow’s belt, or more specifically, the bag of stolen jewels clipped to his belt.

“If you want to dance with me,” Zelda whispered in the sultry voice she used on guys in college before she slapped them for being handsy. “You’ll have to score an invite to one of my parties.”

“So you throw parties?” Shadow chuckled. “And so the mystery grows.”

“Parties, galas, the occasional work dinner,” Zelda leaned in a touch closer. “But it’ll take more than that for you to see me without my mask.”

“Just wait until I sneak into one of your parties, beautiful,” Shadow winked behind his mask before pulling away from Zelda and back flipping off the building.

But Zelda didn’t feel the need to pursue, not with the bag of jewels in her hands.

The next day, Zelda was bubbly and smiling at everyone. She didn’t realize she was acting differently until her secretary asked her if she was alright.

“Oh, I’m fine,” Zelda smiled. “Just happy for no meetings today.”

“Well you do have a couple of small meetings, Miss,” her secretary smiled. “Just a lunch meeting with the president of the Kakariko State University Future Business Leader’s Association to talk about some internship possibilities for Association members, and then at two you have a meeting with the director of the Kakariko Humane Society to talk about their latest fundraising dinner.”

“See but those are easy meetings,” Zelda nodded as she took a sip of her coffee.

The young and peppy president of the Kakariko State University Future Business Leader’s Association nearly talked Zelda to death, and Zelda somehow agreed to come speak at their next meeting before she even knew what was happening.

And the director of the Kakariko Humane Society was really cute, so Zelda felt the need to buy an entire table for his fundraising dinner next week. She could guilt trip her board members into going with her if her friends couldn’t make it.

Needless to say, Zelda was in a pretty happy mood for patrol as Loftwing that night. She managed to finally get one of the drug dealers to reveal their source and stopped three robberies. She was just about to head in for the night when, surprise, surprise, Shadow dropped down in front of her with that Cheshire grin across his face.

“Have I told you, you have a beautiful smile?” he asked.

Zelda eyed him suspiciously, “No, I don’t think so.”

“Well you do,” his smiled widened.

“Is there something you need, Shadow?”

“Oh, no not really,” his grin somehow widened even more. “I just wanted to see the famous Loftwing in her downtime.”

“I’m patrolling,” Zelda rolled her eyes. “This isn’t downtime.” She ran toward the edge of the building and jumped to the neighboring roof. But that wasn’t enough to shake her Shadow.

“You’re not fighting off criminals; that’s downtime enough for me,” he smirked as he landed gracefully next to her. He grabbed her by the arm to stop her from running off again.

“Well, don’t blame me if you get left behind then,” Zelda scowled. She shook off his hold and took off running as fast as she could, intent on losing Shadow in the jungle gym that was the skyline of Kakariko.

She circled around downtown and climbed the flag pole on the top of the courthouse dome.

“Is that the best you can do, beautiful?” Shadow called above the wind from the base of the flagpole.

“Are you issuing a challenge?”

“Only if you’re willing to participate,” Shadow smirked. “For a prize of course.”

Zelda slid down the flagpole, “I might be game, as long as the prize isn’t my name.”

“How about a kiss then?” Shadow raised an eyebrow. His expression was playful and teasing; Zelda couldn’t tell if he was entirely serious or not. It was a harmless bet. She would just have to win, and then it wouldn’t be a problem.

“Deal.”

Shadow’s smile spread to a full on shit-eating grin, “How about we name check points to meet up at. Whoever gets there first gets a point. Whoever had the most points at the end of the night wins.”

“Who gets to decide what the checkpoints are?” Zelda asked.

“We can switch off to make it fair.”

Zelda felt her adrenaline rising. The anticipation, the race, it was making her feel giddy in a way she hadn’t felt since she first donned her cape as Loftwing.

“So where to first?” she asked, already bouncing on her heels.

“Lady’s choice,” Shadow leaned in close enough that their noses almost touched.

Zelda surprised herself by not pulling away, “The old windmill on the edge of town.”

She sent Shadow a wink then leapt of the courthouse dome into the open air. She effortlessly glided down to an office building across the street then started to make her way to the old abandoned windmill she had set as the checkpoint. History books say it had drawn water for Kakariko when it was still but a small village, and really if it weren’t such an important historical landmark, the city would have torn it down years ago. Zelda made it there in good time and counted to sixty before Shadow landed behind her.

“One point for you, beautiful,” Shadow smirked. “Enjoy your lead while you can.”

“Where to next, Shadow?” Zelda attempted to roll her eyes but found she couldn’t thanks to the smile spreading across her cheeks.

“The Temple by the graveyard,” Shadow declared. “Not the super old, creepy one at the back. The top of the steeple at the Temple in the front. Our Ladies of Something and Someother.”

“It’s Hope and Love,” Zelda corrected, but Shadow was already off.

She quickly grappled to the nearest tall building in order to catch up to him. Zelda had never felt this alive in her life. She was almost glad Shadow had come to her tonight and proposed this game. She hadn’t had this much fun since before her parents died.

She climbed up the steeple of the Temple of Our Ladies of Hope and Love. Zelda was rarely on this side of town; there wasn’t enough crime to warrant frequent patrolling of the area.

“Nice of you to drop by,” Shadow suddenly dropped down beside her. “I only got here half a minute before you, so don’t worry. You didn’t lose by much.”

“I won’t be losing anymore, Shadow,” Zelda smirked. “Next checkpoint is the top of Old Main on Kakariko State’s campus. Know where it is?”

“I might have toured the campus once or twice or seven times while in grade school,” Shadow sneered. “You won’t be winning this round, Loftwing.”

“Then prove me wrong, handsome,” Zelda laughed as she jumped off the Temple steeple to glide to a building across the street.

She didn’t realize what she had said to Shadow until she was half way to Kakariko State University’s campus. Zelda almost stopped dead in her tracks. She called Shadow ‘handsome’ to his face. How could she have said such a thing? He was never going to let that go; Shadow was going to bring that up every time they ran into each other from now until eternity. She couldn’t face him again. But she also couldn’t lose this bet. She would just have to play it off, Zelda decided, pretend she said it to throw him off and give herself a lead.

But does that mean she actually meant it?

Her mind was still jumbled when she arrived at the roof of Old Main, Kakariko State’s academic building. No matter how thoroughly she thought it through, Zelda could not convince herself that she didn’t think Shadow was handsome.

“There you are,” Shadow called from the ledge of the dome that sat atop Old Main. “You sure took you time getting here.”

“Looks like my trick didn’t work,” Zelda fake-sighed. “Me calling you ‘handsome’ didn’t slow you down at all, did it?”

“Not in the slightest,” he slipped from the ledge he was sitting on and made his way over to where Zelda was standing. “But it did seem to trip you up.” Shadow slowly invaded her personal space with a smirk across his lips, but Zelda refused to step back. “Didn’t it, beautiful?”

He reached for a stray strand of brunette hair that was hovering in front of Zelda’s face and gently tucked it behind her ear. His fingers grazed the edge of her domino mask, and suddenly that out of breath feeling hit Zelda again. She stumbled backward, turning away from Shadow against her crime-fighting instincts.

“Where,” she began, but she had to take a deep breath before continuing. “Where to next?”

“The top of Harkinia Corp.’s headquarters,” Shadow said. Zelda knew he could clearly see the shock in her face. “What? Scared the tallest building in the city might have too romantic a view, Loftwing?”

“No,” she practically growled. “I’ll beat you there no matter what.”

“You better,” Shadow called keeping right behind her as she jumped from rooftop to rooftop to exit Kakariko State’s campus. “Otherwise I’ll start to think you’re losing this bet on purpose.”

His laughter still echoed in her ears even as she pulled away from him and made her way across the city to her own office building. She did so almost mindlessly; Harkinian Corp.’s tower was always her halfway point on patrols. She was sure she would beat Shadow there. And then she was going to punch him for the little stunt he pulled on the roof of Old Main. And maybe she would punch him again if he tried to pull anything else on the roof of Harkinian Corp. ‘Too romantic a view’ her ass.

Zelda was so caught up in her thoughts, that she didn’t notice Shadow in front of her until she was two blocks away from Harkinian Corp. Dammit. Letting Shadow get to the top of the skyscraper first was not an option. Zelda picked up her speed, pushing her grappling gun to its limits in order to hop from roof to roof quicker. But it wasn’t enough. She was seconds away from touching down on the roof of Harkinian Corp. when she saw Shadow saunter onto the rooftop. Zelda felt like screaming as she landed on the concrete roof.

“So close,” Shadow laughed as he traipsed over toward her. “Yet so far.”

Zelda shot menacing daggers from her eyes before she remembered Shadow couldn’t actually see her eyes behind her domino mask.

“I guess I should just show mercy on you and take my prize now,” he smirked. “Unless you wish to continue.”

“Ah, yes,” Zelda said harshly. She stalked toward him, meeting him halfway across the roof, and stopping close enough to make him lean back slightly. “Why don’t we make our next checkpoint the roof of Precinct 1? I’m sure the cops would just love you voluntarily landing on their building.”

“I think I’ll pass on that one,” Shadow clearly rolled his eyes even though Zelda couldn’t see it. “Let’s just call an end to our game, hmm? I won’t even kiss you if that’s what’s bothering you so much.”

Zelda narrowed her eyes suspiciously at Shadow. If she called off the bet with no kiss, Shadow would turn her words back on her claiming she had feelings for him, which she absolutely did not. But if she just gave in and let him have his kiss, well… she’d be giving in and letting him have his kiss. It was a lose, lose situation, and Zelda couldn’t see a way out of it at all.

“That’s not what’s bothering me,” she scoffed to buy herself some time to think. Then Zelda heard the distance wailing of sirens on the street far below them. That was strange; her emergency signal tracker hadn’t picked anything up. Her emergency signal tracker hadn’t picked anything up. She quickly examined her gauntlets where the communications unit was located.

“All of my comms are shut off,” Zelda whispered. How could she have not noticed until now?

“Loftwing?” Shadow stepped forward cautiously.

“Did you do this?” Zelda turned to him menacingly. “Did you shut of my comms so I wouldn’t be distracted from your stupid game?”

“No!” he gasped, leaping back as Zelda advanced on him. “I would never, Loftwing; you have my word.”

“Sad thing is, I don’t trust your word,” Zelda lashed out at him angrily. Her movements were sloppy and filled with rage, but she didn’t care. He had the opportunity to shut of her comm system when he grabbed her arm on that very first rooftop they met on. Shadow had prevented her from fulfilling her duty to protect Kakariko, to save peoples’ lives, to honor her parents’ memories.

Zelda froze mid-punch. She was lashing out at Shadow for all the attention she had focus on him and not the rest of her duties, angry at him for being the only criminal so far she had yet to bring in to the police, fighting with him when all he had really done was exist.

“I’m sorry,” she hung her head. She had let anger cloud her judgment; Impa would be disappointed.

Shadow seemed to hesitate for a second before quickly wrapping his arms around her and gently sealing their lips together.

Zelda was not expecting that. It was literally the last thing she thought she would be doing that night. But, damn, if it wasn’t the best kiss she’s had in her life. Not that she would ever tell Shadow that, especially after she decked him with a mean right hook when they separated.

“That was for not asking first,” she growled out. Zelda had to resist the urge to pull him back toward her for another kiss. Wow, where did that come from?

“So if I ask, can I kiss you again?” Shadow’s face lit up into a ridiculous smile.

Zelda was at the edge of the rooftop already. She slowly turned around with a coy smile and laughing eyes hidden behind her mask.

“Only if you ask nicely.”

Three hours later, Zelda was in her bedroom screaming into a pillow.

“I can’t believe I did that,” she howled to an apathetic Impa. “I let him kiss me. And then I told him he could do it again.” She screamed into the pillow again. “What is wrong with me?”

“You are attracted to him,” Impa stated as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“But he’s a thief,” Zelda whined. “He steals precious jewels and ore, and this is bad; it’s hazardous.”

“Are you afraid you are compromised by your feelings?” Impa asked bluntly.

“I know I am, Impa,” Zelda rolled over to look her house keeper in the eye. “I spent practically the half night playing tag with him and barely helping anyone, and then I let him kiss me, and I enjoyed it.”

“But you found out where the suppliers are for all the dealers in the city,” Impa attempted to cheer her up. “Now you can focus on taking that down instead of Shadow.”

“That’s true,” Zelda nodded and rubbed her face. “Time to start investigating.”

Zelda spent the next week working, taking short patrols across Kakariko, and scoping out the drug supplies that were hidden in the mountains. The storehouses were so extensive, Zelda thought she might have to call in the help of the police department. But there wasn’t time for that now. Zelda had a fundraiser to go to.

Zelda put on her favorite dress, the sparkly purple one with the halter top and the slit that was just high enough to be sexy but not high enough to be called slutty. She was meeting a couple of friends from college and a few of the board members she managed to guilt trip into attending at the dinner. When she gracefully exited her car, Zelda was surprised to see the director of the Humane Society waiting for her.

“Miss Harkinian,” he offered his arm to escort her. Dang, he looked good in a tux.

“Call me Zelda, please,” she smiled as she took his arm, and they started walking. “You didn’t have to come escort me, Link.”

He chuckled, “I couldn’t let this evening pass without saying thank you to the largest donor here.” His smile faltered as he realized what he said. “Ah, shit no, I meant you gave the largest donation to the Humane Society, not that you are, like, physically large. You actually look stunning in that dress. Dammit, there went my suave first impression.” Link hung his head after his ramble. Zelda could only laugh.

“No, it’s okay,” Zelda couldn’t stop the small chuckles escaping her lips. “This is better; now we don’t have to be pretentiously formal with each other.”

Link smiled, “If you say so. Shall I show you to your table?”

“Yes, please,” Zelda smiled as their photo was taken. They walked to a table near the front center, and Link pulled out a chair in between Ashei, one of Zelda’s college friends, and one of the stuffy board members of Harkinian Corp.

“Don't be a stranger, Link,” Zelda winked as he left to entertain some more guests.

“You’re sweet on that guy, yeah?” Ashei leaned in close to Zelda and smirked.

“There’s nothing wrong with helping a good cause,” Zelda shrugged, hiding her grin by taking a sip of wine.

The fundraiser was quite the success. Link came back over to talk with Zelda at least three separate times, and he even escorted her out to her car when she left a little early so she could have a short patrol as Loftwing before going to bed.

“Feel free to call me if you ever need anything,” Zelda smiled, hesitating before getting into her car.

“I will,” Link’s eyes sparkled, and damn they were so blue.

“I’ll see you later then,” Zelda couldn’t stop smiling as she slipped into the car.

“Maybe quicker than you think,” he winked before closing the door for her.

“So I take it you had a good time, Miss Zelda?” Impa asked from the driver’s seat.

“I would appreciate it if you didn’t comment, Impa,” Zelda tried to snap, but it didn’t sound right with a smile plastered across her face.

Later that night, Zelda was letting out her excitement by twirling across rooftops and flipping excessively when jumping from one place to another. It wasn’t until she heard clapping as she crossed one rooftop that Zelda felt mildly self-conscious of her movements.

“Lovely show,” Shadow called. “When should I expect your name in lights?”

“Give me five years and I’ll take the stage by storm,” Zelda laughed.

“Someone had a good night,” Shadow raised an eyebrow. “Care to share the juicy details?”

“I think the juicy details would only hurt your feelings,” Zelda sighed. “But if you must know, I met a guy.”

“Loftwing,” Shadow gasped, playfully scandalized. “Have you been cheating on me?”

“Oh no,” Zelda smirked. “This guy I actually like.”

Shadow comically threw a hand over his heart, “Now that hurts me deep, Loftwing. How would Link feel about you being so vicious?”

Zelda froze, “I never said his name.”

“Funny thing about Links though,” Shadow chuckled and reached up to his domino mask. “There aren’t all that many in the world.”

Zelda gasped as Shadow took off his domino mask revealing brilliant, blue, familiar eyes.

“You said I could call if I ever needed anything, right?” Link smiled. “Well I have a proposition.”

“How do you know who I am?” Zelda asked, still wary of the thief.

“I wasn’t one hundred percent sure until you reacted to my name,” Link smiled sheepishly. “But it was a silly thing really. When we played tag, you wore the same earrings as Zelda Harkinian when I met her for our meeting earlier that day. And then your smile is pretty unique, uh in a good way. As in it’s really beautiful, and ‘I could recognize that smile everywhere,’ you know?”

“We’re going back to my place,” Zelda declared. She started to stalk off the roof.

“I, uh, you need a ride?” Link called after her.

She turned, “You got one?”

Ten minutes later, Link was driving his motorcycle into the secret lair Zelda had been operating out of under her mountain estate.

He whistled lowly as he turned the engine off, “This is so much nicer than the back room of my shelter.”

“You have a shelter?” Zelda asked as she finally took of her own domino mask.

“Yeah, I own and operate the Kakariko Animal Shelter,” Link said as he stared around the lair. “It’s hilariously underfunded, and I had to take to stealing things from people who totally deserved it by the way so the animals in the shelter could get the proper care they need.”

“So what is this proposition you mentioned earlier?” Zelda stared at him, hands on her hips.

“Well, Shadow wouldn’t need to take to the streets stealing jewels if the KAS was funded by the charitable Zelda Harkinian, who recently found a passion for helping the animals of Kakariko at a recent fundraising dinner.”

“That sounds pretty plausible,” Zelda tilted her head to the side. “What would I get out of it?”

“A partner,” Link’s bravado faded once again. “If you want one, I mean, if you’ll have me.”

“Did you just ask me to be your girlfriend?” she couldn’t resist the tease.

“Only if you’re offering, beautiful,” Link smirked. For once, Zelda could see the mischievous Shadow in Link’s blue eyes.

“We’ll talk,” Zelda conceded. “But I’ll agree to your other conditions. I’ll help fund your animal shelter, and you can be my partner permitted you stop committing crimes.”

“Deal!” Link smiled enthusiastically.

They could hash out the details later, Zelda figured as she took in the huge grin on Link’s face. For right now, she wanted to get to know this lighter side to her Shadow.

[readingraebow]

It Section Two

Derry: The First Interlude - Chapter 6

1. What does Mike learn as he researches Derry? What happened to the original Derry colonists? He discovers that the terror returns every twenty-seven years, sometimes a little bit sooner. Derry is also a hotbed for crime, murders and disappearances. Especially those involving children. During 1958, the year after Georgie was killed, a hundred and twenty-seven children were reported missing in Derry. And there are tons of other statistics like that one. There are even stories of people in town hearing dead or missing people in the drains. And the original Derry colonists just disappeared. It was basically a Roanoke situation??? There were three hundred and forty colonists and they all just disappeared without a trace. The entire village was just deserted. It was eventually thought to be an Indian attack but the bodies were never found and the only evidence to support this theory was the one home that was burned and that could've just been an accident??? And the weirdest thing about this disappearance is no one really knows about it. Everyone has heard of Roanoke but the Derry colonist disappearance has been virtually unreported, especially in Derry.

2. Henry Bowers asks Ben to let him copy during their finals and Ben refuses. Did anyone ever ask you to let them copy during a test? Did you let them? Or did you ever ask anyone to let you copy? I never asked anyone to let me copy. I always tried to be a ~good kid. But I remember my friend Jenny asked me to let her copy sometime in middle school. But she was sitting behind me so I don't know how that was even supposed to work???? I think I said yes and either leaned to the side or tried to sit down in my seat or something but I doubt she could even see anything to copy, ahaha. Other than that, I don't think anyone ever really asked me. Or if they did, I said no.

3. What is the curfew and why was it imposed? The curfew is set for 7pm and it was imposed by the Derry Police Department after several murders happened. Officially there are four though some believe that George Denbrough should be the fifth. But his death some consider to be just some bizarre freak accident? The others, though, are definitely murders. Betty Ripsom, thirteen, was the first. Then Cheryl Lamonica, sixteen. Then three year old Matthew Clements. After that one, the curfew was imposed because the chief had had enough. But, then, two weeks later, Veronica Grogan, buried on what would've been her tenth birthday, was found in a storm drain. So the curfew was imposed in hopes of keeping kids safe. They all had to be indoors or home by seven and in the company of a qualified adult. And the following rules were set: don't talk to strangers, don't accept rides from people unless you know them well, always remember that The Policeman Is Your Friend ... and obey the curfew.

4. What happened to Ben in January? It was the first day back after Christmas break and his teacher asked for a volunteer to stay after school and help count the books that had been turned in before the break. Ben volunteered. But the days were shorter and it was already super cold that day and it took longer to count the books than his teacher had thought and it started getting dark by the time they finished. She said she would've taken him home if she drove but she didn't so she said he could wait until her husband came to pick her up and get a ride then. But Ben said it's only a mile and he'd be fine walking. So he went on his way home. Well, when he passed the Canal, he looked off the bridge and he saw a man in a clown suit holding balloons. And the clown was calling his name and moving toward him over the frozen water. And the clown looks super rough??? He honestly looks dead and Ben literally thinks he's a mummy except those are only in movies??? So while he's basically ~entranced, the clown makes it to the bridge and to Ben and grabs his shoe and that's when Ben snaps out of it and runs away. But, for a second, he wanted a balloon because they were floating toward him, into the wind, and the clown was saying that they'll all float. But Ben escaped and when he turned around, after he'd crossed the bridge, the street was empty. And he realized the clown lived there, under the bridge.

5. How do Ben, Bill and Eddie become friends? So when Henry and company were looking for Ben, they found Bill and Eddie building a dam. They asked if the pair had seen Ben and, according to Bill, Eddie decided to "run his mouth" and the punched him in the nose. So Eddie starts having an asthma attack but his inhaler is empty. Bill is afraid to leave him though so when Ben appears, Bill asks if Ben will wait with Eddie while he runs to the drug store to get another inhaler. Ben does and when Bill returns with Eddie's inhaler, they all start talking and ~getting along. And then Bill asks if Ben wants to come back the next day. They were building a dam but the said it wasn't working so well so they might try something else but then Ben explains how to build the dam. So Bill tells him to come back the next day and help. And that's how they all became friends.

6. What does Bill see in George's photo album? Bill looked through George's photo album back in December and saw something weird. So that's what made him look through it again. He wanted to see if the same thing happened. And it did. The very last picture in the album was George's school photo and it was taken about ten days before he died. In the picture, George's eyes roll and meet Bill's. His smile turned into a leer and then photo George winked at Bill. That's when Bill threw the album across the room and it opened back to that page and blood started pouring out of it.

7. What happened to Eddie Corcoran? What happened to his step-father? So Eddie disappeared and it was a little less than a year after his little brother had died. His little brother's death had been ~strange. It was first ruled an accident and when the parents said Dorsey, the little brother, had fallen off a ladder. But when Eddie was still missing and didn't show up, they exhumed Dorsey's body and discovered his injuries were inconsistent with a fall. So the step-father was arrested and eventually ended up admitting to murdering Dorsey. Authorities believed that the step-father might have also had a hand in Eddie's disappearance. But the step-father said he didn't know anything about that and Eddie was never found. So the step-father went to prison. Three years after he got out, he committed suicide and his note said "I saw Eddie last night. He was dead." And Eddie was dead. He actually died the day they reported him missing. He was killed by Pennywise who was in another form besides the clown. But Eddie was near the Canal and tried to get away but ended up tripping over a park bench and Pennywise grabbed him and, um, ate him.

8. What happened to Mike in the Spring? Mike grew up on a farm and sometimes his dad would leave him notes for chores or, sometimes, he would let him have the day off from farm work and would leave a note saying he should go see some abandoned something because Mike and his father were both interested in the history of Derry. So his father left one of these notes and told him to go see the abandoned Kitchener Ironworks and to get himself a souvenir. So Mike goes there and his dad had told him not to look down this hole but, of course, Mike was curious and does. So there's this giant bird that ends up attacking him. But Mike hides in this old smokestack and the bird tries to squeeze in after him but Mike starts throwing pieces of tile at it. He ends up injuring the bird and eventually it decides it can't get him there and flies away.

  Section Two Reading Journal

Okay wow. So there were a lot of interesting things in this section. I particularly enjoyed the Derry interlude chapter and all the info about the original colonists and all of the children Pennywise has been killing over the years. That’s absolutely fascinating???? This has been going on forever and why has no one stopped him before??? How horrifying?

I’m glad we finally got to the kids in this section though I’m honestly not a fan of how SK is taking a billion years just to set up the freaking story. In this hundred and thirty page section, we got the backstories of three kids (and kind of met three of the others) and that’s it???? We don’t need every single detail about the lives of these kids. Can we get to the Losers Club and the story already??

Honestly, there were parts of this section that I felt really dragged and got a little bored in some places. But when the story ~finally really picks up, I think I’ll like this a lot. There were definitely some really interesting bits in this section. I just think SK is a little too wordy and is doing a little ~too much setup.

But I’m excited to read the next section and see the formation of the Losers Club!!! Can’t wait!!!

[ohtheseboysilove]

Sexy panties to dirty nappies II/? [ Ben Hardy x F!Reader ]

Words : 3,300 K +

Warnings : language, pregnancy, fluff, nervous futur parents, cute dog

Summary : Reader is eight months pregnant. The only problem ? She just find out. Yep, pregancy denial. Now they only got a month to be ready for the baby. Ready…steady…go !

Note : here is part 2 ! I’m really having fun with this cute fic, reader and ben start to realise that the baby is coming really soon, a bit of panick and fluff moments

Masterlist & Requests

@/ none of these gifs are mine xx

The first next three days you and Ben stayed at home. You didn’t do a lot, couldn’t sleep or thought about something else than the elephant in the room. You were on maternity leave, yeah your boss was for the least surprised. Ben had few weeks of break but he called his agent and announced the...unexpected new. At first he thought he was doing that to earn few more weeks for sunny holidays but when the blond almost had an panick attack during the phone call he believed him. His planning was lighter than before, he will not have new castings but he still did have obligations, pregnancy surprise or not. But it could be worse.

You spent these days eating and watching t.v, kicking Ben’s ass at video games, pretending nothing was going on in your belly. But on the fourth day you couldn’t ignore it, you were, to say at least, plump.

“Are you sure you not excepting twins (Y/N) ?” Ben was sitting next to you in bed, looking terrified by your swollen tummy. You did change a bit during these past days but this night...you reached your fully eight-months look. It was fucking strange. You went to sleep with a cute little belly to waking up with a round and imposing belly.

“I am not, Benjamin” You scoffed. “The doctor said it was only one baby and that more than enough” He pinched his lips and you both jumped when the baby started moving. Their movements clearly visible on your bare skin, both of your gazes following every of their gestures, eyes wide opened.

The baby did move these last day but never that much. It was pretty scary.

“It look like an alien about to rip off your stomach to get out of here” Commented the blond, his Adam’s apple bobbing roughly in his throat.

“I know” You whined. “I want this baby out of me” You complained with a groan as they kicked harshly than before.

“I’m sorry babe” Ben grabbed your hand and pressed it gently, his face was very pale.  “What we are gonna do ? We have a billion things to buy before this kid is coming and I need to call my mom, holy shit, that wasn’t the plan at all” He scratched his unshaven chin, it did happen when he was home for few weeks, he was lazier about his appearance and you didn’t mind it but these days was just because he was incapable of doing anything else than staring at your growing belly.

“We should do a list” You looked around the room, it was messy and really need a good cleaning. You thought about the pile of dirty laundry waiting in the bathroom. And the other one of greasy dishes in the sink. The small bag of weed and rolling paper on the coffee table. The household products under the sink, easy to grab. So many changes were required. In a such short amount of time.

Ben came back in bed with a little notebook and a pen, sighing deeply.

“Okay baby, what do we need to buy in first ?” He wrote To buy urgently!!! on the top of the page and underlined it multiple times.

“We need nappies, wipes, baby clothes” You enumerated the first things that crossed your mind when you thought about a baby. Ben nodded and quickly wrote all your ideas. “Fuck, we need a bed for this baby and...a fucking stroller ?” You grimaced and gently massaging your temples. “Can you grab my laptop, we gonna order everything we can online. I’m not in state to wondering around for hours in all these baby shops”

The blond picked your laptop from the end of the bed and switched it on. He tapped few words on the keyboard and the screen quickly filled with a sparkling big tittle Baby Paradise, rainbows and teddy bears all around. You both swallowed sickly at this view.

“Alright, nappies...jesus these so many different sorts of” Ben scrolled through the page, biting nervously his lips. Few days ago you were scrolling to find a nice travel destination for your week of holiday in two months, well it seemed rather compromised now. “This one ? No. 1 Newborn nappy with features specially designed for the comfort and protection of newborns, up to 12 hours protection, perfect for day and night usage...Sound good ?”

“I guess...” You shrugged and rested your head on his bare shoulder, he added five box of these nappies to the basket. “Good, one thing done. Only a billion more to do” You joked...but not really.

Your boyfriend chuckled, putting a kiss on your hairs as a big ad invaded the screen. Nappy Rash Cream.

“The fuck is that now ?” He clicked on it and apparently you couldn’t not buying some of it. For soft and non-irritating baby bottom. “This shit is fucking expensive” He mumbled but put it in the basket anyway.

“It’s because you pick a bio label, Benny” You snorted and he rolled his eyes.

“Like I would let my kid have some shitty cream because it’s cheaper, no way” The way he said my kid warmed your heart a bit. The idea of Ben with a baby in his arm was less scarier. But only a tad. “Thanks god we have good salaries because this child gonna cost us an arm and a leg”

“I think your right” You sighed and checked the list. “We need wipes to clean the little bum of this baby”

After an hour of shopping about every essential baby stuffs like bottles feeding, newborn bath products, an easy-to-use thermometer, a little bath tub exclusively for baby and other things that you didn’t even know you needed like a freaking baby nails trimmer or a dozen of pack of water bottles because – you just learnt it but it did make sense – babies didn’t drink water from the tap as they were fragile tiny person, only clean and proper water. You checked on your phone and the baby wasn’t supposed to drink water before six months at least as he was going to drink your milk. But Ben insisted. It’s done, we can keep it in the empty closet in the kitchen.

It took you the entire morning, deciding between this label and this one, if you should pick the bottle feeding with bees on it or bunnies...yes that an argument you didn’t imagine having with Ben but life was full of surprise. You put your childish behaviour on your pregnancy hormones. At the end Ben added a pack of bees bottles and bunnies’.

“I really need to pee” You pouted and Ben closed the laptop with a dramatic grimace.

“It’s only the forty times this morning” He teased and made his way to you, getting up and walking was still a bit weird for you. In only few days you had to adapt to a massive weight, pulling you down, it was so strange. He helped you reach the bathroom, his arms supporting you protectively.

“M’ gonna cook I’m starving, fancy something special baby ?...and my other baby, of course” He winked playfully, glancing at your swollen belly.

You giggled a bit and carefully rubbed your bump, your breath hitched in your throat as you felt the baby immediately reacting to your tender gesture. You barely interact with this little human since you learnt about it, it wasn’t fair for this baby but it was so scary...You promised yourself to make more effort, to bound with this upcoming child.

“Can you make me your tomatoes and pesto sandwich ?” You asked as you slowly took your pyjama pants off and sat on the toilet seat. Ben always offered you his help but you wanted to do the most you could by yourself.

“Only a sandwich ? Baby, this little alien need more than that” The mother hen was back and you cheekily smiled.

“Well, I wasn’t finish Benny boy. I’m gonna eat this sandwich, meanwhile you, pretty boy, gonna cook your delicious pasta, the one with marinara sauce. Please ?”

“Gimme fifteen minutes” He winked at you and left for the kitchen.

You were laying on the sofa, stuffing food in your mouth like you didn’t eat for a week. You immediately felt better but you were still hungry, waiting patiently for the pasta.

“Alright, here the pasta for the two babies” He put a giant pasta plate in front of you, fuming and smelling incredibly good. You slowly sat up correctly and grabbed the dish, drooling at this perfect sight. “I also bring the doctor envelope, thought that it would be easier to buy baby clothes if we knew the sex, no ?”

You nodded as an answer, your mouth to busy munching your meal to reply vocally. Ben took a deep breath and opened the envelope, his face a little tense.

“Girl” He cleared his voice and repeated louder. “It’s a girl, you...we’re expecting a baby girl” He smiled nervously as you quickly swallowed your bite.

“That’s...great” It sounded more like a question but the whole situation was still feeling like a prank sometimes. “Are you happy ? Or you wanted a boy ?”

You stared at each other for few seconds before both of you bursted in laugh at your last words. Neither of you wanted a girl or a boy. The closest thing to a baby that you could have wanted was another puppy but even that you had decide to wait, a dog was already a lot of work to take care of. You were so relieved you didn’t take another dog.

“I...to be honest, I never think about that. Kids in the future yes, but the sex...it doesn’t really matter ya know ?” He shrugged as his cheeks were a bit flushed. “I guess, a girl, it’s good. Easier than a boy, right ? Calmer”

You snorted, very amused by his naivety.

“Ben, baby. Maybe in films, the cute little girl with pretty blue eyes and braided blond hairs love playing with her doll, eat all her vegetables and said I love you to her parents every night but in real life, it doesn’t last longer than ten minutes” You pinched your lips, repressing a laugh at his wide and scared eyes. “When I was little, I was a monster, terrorising all the boys in my school”

“What are you telling me that ? Do you really want me to cry or what ? Because I will if you keep going doing this” He whined, shoving a fork full of pasta in his mouth. “But at least I’m not going to have this horrible conversation about these awkward hard-on you can get anywhere and anytime. I’m still traumatising by my dad’s conversation.”

“More traumatising than the day you get hard when you saw your older cousin in bikini ?” You teased with a cocky smile, you knew it was one of the most embarrassing moment of his life. Comprehensible. “Because you know your granny still remembered”

“I was thirteen years old, jesus ! Stacy can’t still not look me in the eyes”

“You’re such a drama queen Benny” You pressed a light kiss on his cheek before digging back in your plate.

“We will see who’s gonna be the drama queen when the kid gonna start bleeding” He chatted back with a smirk.

You dropped your fork and felt a wave of panic crashed through your body.

“Oh my god, you’re right !” You put the plate away and hid your face in your hands, tears sliding freely on your cheeks. “No, I want to change ! I want a boy Ben !”

The blond frowned and reached for your face, surprised and worried of your sudden change of mood.

“Babe, I was just kidding, a girl is awesome !” He tried to cheer you up, a bit guilty for you state.

“But you were right ! I was so scared when I get my first period and fuck, this is so painful ! I’m not ready to explain her that...and what about her first time ? I’m gonna need to talk to her about sex with boys...or girls ! Shit I don’t know–”

Ben stopped your rambling, grabbing softly your face and wiping away your tears with his thumb.

“(Y/N), my love, breath okay ? You’re not alone in all of this, I’m here. I will do whatever I can to help you raising our little girl” You sniffled a bit and slowly calmed down. “Plus, I think we have few more years before worrying about all that, right ?” A noise between a laugh and a sob escaped your throat as you shook your head, he was right. “Can you stop crying now, baby ? You know I hate seeing you like that”

“I can’t, I swear Ben I’m trying to stop but look...” You rubbed your eyes and immediately tears came back, rolling down your face. “I don’t have anymore control on my own body” You complained but still smiled through the tears. “Fucking pregnancy hormones”

“Sound rather annoying” Ben said softly, his lips lingering during few seconds on your forehead.

“It is” You hiccuped loudly and your boyfriend laughed a bit.

“Would you want more pasta baby ? Would it make you stop crying ?”

“Maybe” You sniffled and gave him your empty plate and he winked at you.

You were so glad that your emotional support was back on the track. You couldn’t do it without this marvellous man. You saw Frankie stood up from her little bed to follow Ben and you called her, always craving for a cuddle with his dog. She looked at you hesitantly but entered the kitchen anyway. You sighed, since the last two days Frankie wouldn’t come closer to you, probably feeling your weird surprise pregnancy vibes that suddenly started emanating from your body.

“There, baby” You smiled softly at the blond and took the plate from his hand. He put two bottle of beer on the table and opened them, taking a big sip right after. “Want a beer babe ?” He pushed the drink toward you, his eyes glued on his phone as he scrolled furiously on the screen.

“Ben” You giggled quietly and pushed back the beer to him. “I can’t”

He glanced toward you with a frown then immediately cursed loudly.

“Shit, I’m sorry baby, I didn’t even think...we always drink beers on saturday lunch” He pressed a sloppy kiss on your cheekbone. “M’ sorry (Y/N), only four weeks and you could drink again, yeah !” He grinned at you and raised his beer playfully before drinking another sip.

“Ben, you’re being rude right now” You complained with a grimace. “I’m not allowed to drink as long as breast-feed the baby”

He almost chocked on his beer and coughed roughly. “Fucking hell, that’s make sense. That’s really unfair, though.” He bit the inside of his cheek to not laugh and you rolled your eyes, he was such a dork.

Frankie jumped on Ben’s lap and cuddled against him, but still keeping an eye on you.

“Frankie still doesn’t let me pet her” You whined and sadly watched the cute beagle nuzzling under her owner’s hand. “She act like she is the only one scared by the little alien. I’m as surprise as you Frank’ !” She raised her head when she heard her name but didn’t make a move toward you.

“I guess she just need time babe” Ben shrugged and scratched her furry head. “Your belly is rather...impressive, still a whole thing to process, ya know ?”

“That why you never touched it ?” You snapped rougher than attended and his smile fell as soon as he heard your words. “Sorry, didn’t mean to sound rude, I know you need time, it’s okay” You gave him a shy smile and looked at your half-empty plate, you weren’t hungry anymore.

The truth was that you were hurt by the fact that Ben never touched your bump during the past four days. Not even once. You get it, this belly was terrifying but still, the baby was here and well alive, he couldn’t just keep ignored it.

Ben grabbed the plate from your hands and put on the coffee table before sliding his fingers under you chin, turning it toward his gaze.

“I’m sorry (Y/N), I’m truly am, I never mean to hurt you. It’s just...if I touch it...her...she gonna be so fucking real” He mumbled ashamed, his lower lip pinched between his teeth, eyes travelling between your bump and your eyes.

“But she is already real Ben. And she is coming to be out in less than a month, you...we need to create bond with her. We have eight months to catch up and I don’t want our kid to hate us because we were scared” You raised your pyjama top and exposed your swollen belly, placing a gentle hand on it. “She’s awake Ben, please come and meet your daughter”

The blond sniffled quietly and you tenderly kissed away the only tear which escaped his beautiful green eyes. He nodded timidly and put a shaky hand on your bare stomach, licking his suddenly dry lips nervously. You moved your own hand on his and slowly slid them to where the tiny foot of your daughter were pushing your belly. Ben gasped surprisingly when he felt her kicking against his palm, an amazed smile on his features.

“Hi baby” You moved your hand away and softly caressed Ben’s hairs, watching the first interaction between your daughter and her dad, eyes inevitably watering at this sight. “I’m sorry I didn’t say hi sooner...I was so scared but not of you my sweet girl. More about my questioning abilities to be a father...but I will do my best, me and your mom, we will do everything for you to be happy” Now you were sobbing quietly and not only because of the pregnancy hormones. He pressed a soft kiss on your parted mouth then on the top of your round tummy, murmuring sweet nothings to the baby.

You hissed when she kicked harder and Ben immediately backed up.

“Did I hurt you ?”

“No, n– ouch, no, Benny, you didn’t do anything” You smiled through your grimace. “I think she just a bit excited to finally meet you, she’s kicking me everywhere, evil little creature” You joked and rubbed your belly, trying to calm her. It felt pretty natural to do it, probably your maternal instinct finally waking up. It was about damn time.

“Oh.” He gave another kiss to your belly then focused on your lips. Sweet but deep one, showing his infinite love and affection for you. You smiled widely through the kiss, Ben and you could do everything as long as you were together.

Your eyes opened surprisingly when you felt something wet brushing against your stomach. You broke the kiss and lower your gaze to see Frankie, her cute little nose pressed against your belly, sniffing and rubbing it carefully.

“Oh good girl Frankie. Can you feel the baby Frank’ ? Can you feel your little sister ?” Ben – and you even if you won’t admit it – always took this stupid baby voice when he spoke to his dog and you were pretty sure it gonna be the same with your daughter. His excited voice combined with a rubbing on your stomach were enough to drive the beagle wild, not afraid anymore of the little alien. Her tail was wiggling strongly and happy barks were echoing into the flat, she was licking your tummy but stayed incredibly careful, she knew without a doubt another tiny life was inside here and she didn’t want to hurt it. Probably one of the cutest thing you ever witnessed.

“I guess she’s ready to be a big sister” You sighed happily, scratching her lower back exactly the way you knew she loved.

[zenmountainssundaypost]

“Hey Baby, you sure smell gooood. “

The Does have the bucks worked up again. The Rut has started on Zen Mountain .

The Buck stops here

This time of year, when I am not brooding about winter, is one of my favorites. We get to see a lot of bucks as the rut starts up.

Most of the year they big boys stay in their little hidy holes . We have Blacktail deer up here. Bucks tend to own small deep dark areas in the thickest of woody glens. You can , and I have walked right by big bucks without them moving…Then they leap up , I have a friggin heart attack followed by me gingerly making my way home to change my shorts.

During archery season , finding a buck up here is usually a chore. We are on the edge between woods and prairie . Beings the boys like the deep dark and we have open expanses , we don’t see them.

Come the rut however ; the boys are dumb and lookin’ for love.

Get off me !

More often than not, the girls are not as interested as the boys are… Hmmm..

Generally , the girls want absolutely nothing to do with the bucks going as far as running up to Ma and myself where the boys simply wont go.

“Crap! Buck blocked again !”

Before the big winter storm that lasted weeks on end up here dropping inches of snow per hour, day and night for all those weeks , we had a LARGE band of deer . Does were constantly in the yard and getting into trouble . With dozens of does during rut you get a LOT of bucks come through.

Since the storm other than our doe that hangs out here at the homestead, we do not see very many meaning less bucks and of course that means less fawns which again leads to less deer….

The numbers are slowly coming back slow but sure. The winter is suppose to be mild so we shall see once they all herd up for the season.

We still get to see quite a few bucks as they wander through looking for our girls and they running from the boys.

Nice rack!

We have had several come by throughout the years . Usually the Big Boys still manage to only come through when it is predawn…or right after I put the camera inside.

In Theory; I have a video of some decent sized bucks from yesterday though I haven’t had a chance to see how it turned out. They were a couple hundred yards out.. If there is anything it’ll probably end up as one of the “seasonal” music vids.

These boys aren’t the biggest nor are they the smallest but when they come in , it is always great to see them. They made it through hunting seasons…sometimes Ma and I grit our teeth when we see a nice sized body buck that would have looked nice in the freezer as venison is a nice portion of our meat group. We don’t just go for racks, it’s all about the meat.. smaller antlers and bigger body is far more important to us.

Hunting season over , they are all about looking at them and enjoying watching the antics between the boys and gals.

Busted

We are generally slow moving up here as a rule . We normally are fairly quiet .We still get busted by the deer ALL the time.

In my case, my field of view is crap now to begin with but I also tend to be thinking about a project or problem when I take that step out onto the deck only to feel someone staring at my back. Turning around it is usually a doe some ten feet away that I hadn’t noticed…dumbass …

The girls normally just stare at me. Sometimes they start simply due to me moving quickly to look at something..something important…. like a deer bush , or possibly a bear rock….*eye roll* only to have an actual animal right behind me.. Because I am soooo in tune with my surroundings.

I have had a few bucks this season watching me before I see them..Pretty sure one of them stuck his tongue out at me before he turned around to walk off.

Yesterday I was harvesting tomatoes and peppers..Yup they are still going in November this year…When Ma says;

” Don’t move. Turn around he is right behind you.”

Ok..so in my mind , my sarcasm is weighing comments verses doing what Ma says:

” Hmmmm point out that I can Not ‘not move’ while turning around and who exactly is right behind me which covers a lot of land to not move and turn around to…meh… I’ll just follow instructions ish..”

Sure enough another nice buck was staring at me harvesting…

I watched him..

He watched me..He looked at the hand full of tomatoes then back to me , then tomatoes.

I turned back to finish harvesting.. There was no way I could get out of the garden , around the deck , up the stairs , into the house, back out with the camera all without moving..Soooooo.. As I couldn’t see him all that well anyway..Figured if he was hungry , he could come help. Seems turning my back to him upset him and to took off…

He came back later.. Garden gate closed

“HA!”

Final thoughts

Today’s post is another short one with me trying to get some work around here done and back in the “studio” again

Back in the Saddle

Yesterday I put up the ” Public ” version of

“The Awakening “ a year in the folder waiting for me to get back in “Studio” mode.

A year ago October , I watched the sun rising and sat in the studio watching what was at the time a couple pics and came up with this…. This last a couple days I added a bass track and some mixing….Yup… all that time for a couple day’s work…

I am presently looking at “Donnybrook ” the Lightning storm music vid which has been on the shelf even longer. I pulled several tracks that I wasn’t too happy with so I will have to rework them. Then I get to sit down with the storm and try to sync the two together …So.. Probably not today….or this week….

As I say , I have the new Buck vid , no idea if anything will come from it. Lost my Elk video SOMEWHERE.. I have been looking for a good week . Also lost a really cool full moon rise, and a couple cool snow vids. So…. I’ll just be watching for more fun stuff out there . That is  the nice thing about using daily stuff up here for inspiration : errr… It can happen any day. Just not Every day.

Sit and Spin

Ma has been working with her travelling “ Pocket Wheel” Yesterday , we decided to more or less relax and she with her wheel and I with the studio…..

Hummie sat outside the front room window bobbing his head from side to side like watching a tennis match while both Ma and I were “What the Hell!”ing and Seriously?!?! Come On!”ing until he got bored and flew off.

The thing about Ma’s small wheel is that it can be adjusted down so fine..Which means , of course, there are a billion fine adjustments all of which make Ma swear like…well like me.

Trying to get the wheel set when there is no real info out there other than ” It’s so easy..”

What in the Hell kind of instruction is that ? Fixing a toilet is easy too but I have seen Many numbnuts bugger the hell out of that from flooding restrooms to cracking bowls . Telling them “It’s easy.” Isn’t going to keep you from heading to the store to buy a new toilet to replace the shattered one or from having to run grab the wet vac..

For the Instructionally challenged ; Instructions are like a “How To ” or ” DIY ” page or video ..Instructions are not adjectives…friggin duh.

Anyway.. so that is something I am trying to help Ma with by looking in other directions.

And of course , Ma isn’t just trying to set up a new style of wheel , learn to spin with it which is completely different from her Castle Wheel but she is also running a different style of spinning as well as Plying ….Yes.. I know “Blah Blah..Yakity Smakity ” I’ll get into all of that in another post ; one for Ma and her spinning/ knitting..

*shrug* I think it is interesting . Ma makes some great shawls , caps , hats , gloves, sweaters ; of many styles and uses, very nice warm socks , once again many styles…and on and on with out a single snot rag cozy in the house .

Weather forecast

The Sun will come up at some point , dropping once again until a moon possibly takes its place.

We are having mostly wet weather with some wind in between. Temps are dropping.. All those things that mean Fall. The day warms.. the wind blows..The wind blows.. the next storm comes in…then the wind blows…

It looks like we are suppose to get down to freezing at night for the next few eves coming up Tuesday which , of course will finally wipe out the harvest….with a large pot of Salsa Verde Zen Mountain style following shortly there after….Hopefully we will still have jars as there are several other canning projects ahead of that and it does NOT freeze well at all.

Zen Vee shall See

Waking up early is almost a chore for my eyes now days as I watch the sun rise in part for them to adjust slowly to light keeping the headache to this side of blinding rage.

Still , sitting out in the mornings even in the dark is interesting.

Walking through the front room , the house is as dark as it was when I went to bed. Looking out the front windows I can see the lights of Gotham far below.

Not wanting to wake Ma just yet , I stumble about in the kitchen for a cup of coffee, pouring black coffee from a black coffee maker into a black cup in the dark..marginally tougher than in the light with my crappy vision . Deciding by weight that the coffee is actually in the cup and not o the counter , I quietly open the doors to go out to the porch.

Far too early for worrying about a camera , I sit down to watch the far Eastern skies , looking for a glimmer.

Slowly a wink of orange flares in and out . The colors blackening as clouds far beyond the far ridge swallow the first signs of dawn.

I see movement through the few bushes that are between myself and Gotham. Hints of silhouettes of something walking through the last vestiges of a night wearing down. Picking up Ma’s Binocs , I look around to see a pair of does coming in as they normally do in the early morns . A large buck following behind them snuffling at the scent they leave.

The buck’s neck , swollen with the rut  doesn’t notice me watching the three of them as the girls make their way into the yard. Too dark to count antlers even with the binoculars , I put them down to pick up my coffee .

The buck stands off to the side of the does while they lick at the mineral block. The girls know I am sitting there, they had watched me as they came in with a pleading glance at the buck and back to me. I shrug my shoulders . They sigh as one and attempt to ignore Horny Boy while they hang out .

The girls edge away from their courter while he edges ever closer whispering sweet little ;

“Berrrrrrrrppppp”s at them . Seemingly a Don Juan De Redneck ..pretty sure belching in a girl’s ear has never worked in swaying any gal to give up her virtues ..but then , What do I know?

It was about that time that I moved at the wrong moment and he saw me.. Being the proverbial “Deer in the Headlights” he stood there “He can’t see me if I don’t move right ? “ …um no.. that would be Myth….

“Crap….” He slowly backed away from the girls as they waved and giggled then all but dropped to the ground , unclenching .

“Thanks Da…. “

I watched the buck easing back into the brush , looking through branches at me.

” Still see you Bud..”

“Crap..”

The colors of a coming dawn began to once again seep between layers of low clouds; reds golds and orange traced with browns. The clouds black and heavy as the next wave of rain began to fall.

It is beginning to look like

Just another day on Zen Mountain

  Getting into a ” Rut” It’s that time of year "Hey Baby, you sure smell gooood. " The Does have the bucks worked up again. The Rut has started on Zen Mountain .

[allenmendezsr]

Dr. Blocks Wellness Program

New Post has been published on https://autotraffixpro.app/allenmendezsr/dr-blocks-wellness-program/

Dr. Blocks Wellness Program

 Buy Now

    From Dr. Joel Block

What If You Could Reclaim Reliable, Rock-Hard Erections, Avoid Mortifying Moments, and Discover The Best Sex of Your Life Without Drugs, Pills or Potions That Can Leave You Limp Or Lifeless?

Take a deep breath…

You know that moment you keep dreading? The one where you’re minutes from an encounter and you have no idea if your erection is going to be there?

That moment…it’s over. For life.

But, it’s not going to happen the way you think. Or the way you’ve been told it has to happen.

Because, for the vast majority of men, drugs, herbs, pills and potions are completely unnecessary.

I’ll explain how and why in a second, but first, I have to get this out of the way…

If you’re anxious about whether the info I’m sharing with you is real, or just another online ED scam…that’s actually a good thing. I want you to be cautious. I want you to question what people are telling you (and trying to sell you), who they are, what their credentials are and what their agendas are. Because, there’s a parade of online scammers and back-alley hucksters selling bogus ED “cures” (in fact, if you see the words ED and cure in the same sentence, run).

And, sadly, mega drug-companies have now taken the reigns in the push to brainwash you into believing you need penis pills until the day you die (a day those same drugs might play a role in).

Before you choose drugs or herbal hooey, don’t you wonder how important it might be to understand the truth about what works, what’s utter fiction…and what’s so dangerous it’s actually been implicated in more than 200 deaths worldwide.

Dr. Joel Block

My name is Dr. Joel Block. Over the last 30 years, I’ve successfully treated thousands of men just like you in my New York offices. Yes, my real clinical offices, where real diplomas hang on the walls. Men come to me in tears, often having flown in from around the world, terrified of what might happen the next time they’re alone with a date or even a longtime lover or spouse…and can’t get an erection. Overcome by feelings of shame, anxiety and frustration, asking…

“Is there any way for me to get a reliable erection that doesn’t involve taking pills-for-life, a parade of awkward moments, never knowing if it’s really going to work, spending tens of thousands of dollars and the risk of me dying or getting one of those 4-hour erections that the commercials say you might get with pills…the ones that can cause permanent injury?”

Short answer. YES! A thousand time yes.

For all but a small subset of men who have either organic issues (like a radical prostatectomy) or more involved psychological issues, there is another way. One that will allow you to reclaim reliable erections FOR LIFE without the risk, embarrassment or cost of pills, bizarre herbal potions or permanently-inured penises.

ORDER YOUR RISK-FREE ED THERAPY PROGRAM TODAY – JUST $97!

I’ve Devoted My Life To Helping Men Just Like You…

Dr. Block

As a senior psychologist at North Shore-Long Island Jewish Health System in NY, I’ve supervised a major hospital’s Sexuality Center for decades, treating thousands of individuals and couples with sexual challenges.

I’ve become known as the doctor of last resort.

Men from all walks of life, from powerful CEOs to college students, have flown in from around the word to work with me after having failed at every other type of treatment, drugs included (yes, they don’t always work and even when they do, it’s not unusual for them to stop working without notice, until you fix the REAL problem).

I became so proficient at treating sexual problems deemed by so many others “unsolvable,” I was appointed to train doctoral interns in sex therapy and eventually appointed an Assistant Clinical Professor of Psychiatry on the faculty of Einstein College of Medicine and a Diplomate of the American Board of Professional Psychology.

You may also have seen me featured in a variety of newspapers and magazines, as well as being a guest on:

•Today,

•Good Morning America,

•Charlie Rose,

•Countless radio shows, including Playboy Radio.

And, I have also been a psychology consultant to ABC. You may have also come across one of the many books on love relationships and sexuality I’ve written, including:

Also, and this is really important…I’m not affiliated with any pharmaceutical company or herbal remedy purveyor.

I have no agenda to try to sell you on a lifetime of dependence on their supposed solutions. I don’t get paid to recommend them, I don’t profit if you take them. I am completely independent, which makes it easier for me to stand up and reveal what’s really going on…

The reason I’m writing this is to share with you an option that you’re not being told about. In fact, the potion-pushers are spending billions to keep you from learning it.

ORDER YOUR RISK-FREE ED THERAPY PROGRAM TODAY – JUST $97!

The Day Big Drug Companies Fooled The World…

Back in the 1990s, researchers at a major drug company discovered that a highly-aggressive class of drugs known as PDE5 inhibitors, which were developed to treat hypertension and angina, failed miserably, but seemed to have a side effect. They were causing erections in some men. Clinical trials were re-tooled, the FDA was put on notice, pills were approved and the pharmaceutical companies began to wage a multibillion-dollar advertising propaganda campaign in an effort to convince you to hand your sex life over to their pills and pay them for the rest of your life.

But, there was a problem…

These drugs were originally intended to treat life-threatening conditions. They are very strong, very serious drugs. And, they carry a laundry list of potential dangers and contraindications.

In the context of saving your life, you might be able to justify the potential dangers posed. But, in the quest for an erection, the risks become extremely difficult to justify.

CIALIS®, LEVITRA®, VIAGRA® and Other “PDE5 inhibitors” Exposed

Watching the TV ads with silver-haired men giving their adoring wives and girlfriends that manly wink, you’d think medication was the dream solution. Pop a pill, shuffle off to the bedroom, have sex, get on your hog and ride into the sunset with your manhood reclaimed.

But, did you ever notice anything else about those ads?

Like the fact that nearly HALF of the ad time is taken up by a laundry list of everything that can go wrong, even horribly wrong, just minutes after their prescription medication enters your system?

Before you consider resorting to drug-induced erections, you may want to know about these potential side-effects. 

When you take PDE5-inhibitors, you may suffer:

A sudden, unsafe drop in blood pressure.

An uncontrollable erection that does not go down and causes long-term injury to your penis and your ability to ever get hard again.

Loss of vision or impaired vision

Loss of hearing without any warning

Headaches

Facial flushing

Stomach pain

Blue-tinted vision (I did not make that up)

Blurred vision

Sensitivity to light

Severe hypotension

Heart attack

Ventricular arrhythmias, and

Stroke

And, this doesn’t even include the huge list of drug and condition contraindications that when, mixed with ED drugs, have been investigated as a factor in more than 200 reported deaths.

And, here’s something else the drug-companies will never tell you…

It’s not unusual for ED drugs to stop working, without notice…

That’s right, it’s entirely possible that you’ll pop a pill hoping for a lightning rod at that critical moment…and end up with a wet noodle.

Even if it works once, it may well NOT work at some point in the future. And, the thing is, you’ll never get any warning before the pill leaves you limp. The only way you’ll know the pill has failed is when you reach that critical moment…and nothing happens.

How can this be? Because the drugs don’t actually start your erection, they only make it work better AFTER your brain is sufficiently aroused. It’s your BRAIN that lights your fire and gets your juices flowing. And, that only happens when you’re psychologically in the place you need to be. When you’ve taken care of…

The critical mindset fixes that need to be made for you to get hard, drugs or no drugs.

So, the bad news is ED drugs will likely never give you RELIABLE erections. Even if they work once, you’ll always be left wondering…

“Is this the day I go down in flames?”

Because your real problem is likely not in your penis, it’s in your head.

And, even if you could rely on pills (which you can’t)

Have you ever added up what it’ll cost you to rent your erection for life?

Do you have any idea what the real economic cost will be to you? I always knew ED drugs were insanely expensive, but when a pharmacist friend recently reminded me, if you get your drugs through legitimate channels, the average pill cost is about $20, I was floored. Think about that for a minute. If you had drug-induced sex only once a week, your penis pills would end up costing you more than $1,000 a year. Bump that to twice a week and you’re over $2,000 a year. Now, extend that out over the next 20 or 30 years, that’s…

$20,000 to $60,000…to rent your own erection once or twice a week!

So, we now know that ED-drugs can:

Cause permanent-injury to your penis, debilitating-illness, disability and even death,

Stop working at any given moment without any notice, and

Cost you $20,000 – $60,000 for life

By now, you’ve got to be wondering something…

If this is all true, then why do some doctors prescribe it so readily?

Reason #1: A Small Percentage of Men Actually DO Need Pills

A small percentage, those who have what we call an “organic” basis for ED, like having undergone a radical prostatectomy or having serious heart disease, may be best served by pills (though certain heart conditions may also make medication unsafe). Though, truth is, even if that’s you, pills may still not work. Because even when an organic basis for ED is present, there is also ALWAYS a psychological basis. And, if that’s left unaddressed…it’s not unusual for the drugs to outright fail.

Reason #2: Most Doctors Do Not Know About Drug-Free Mindset-based Treatment

As a clinical psychologist who is also on the faculty at Einstein Medical School in NYC, I’ve specialized in the area of sexual dysfunction for more than 30 years. I’ve been at the forefront of research. I live and breathe this every day. But, truth is, most physicians don’t. For decades, they’d routinely send patients to psychologists or psychiatrists for treatment. But, they had little or no exposure to my highly-specialized area of practice or the highly-effective non-drug treatments I’ve used to overcome ED in my patients every day for decades. And, nowadays, truth is, it’s often easier to just offer drugs. In this case, easier is often the worst thing you can do.

Reason #3: Big Pharma Is Spending Billions to Brainwash You Into Thinking Drug-Induced Erections Are Your Only Option

When you’re constantly barraged with propaganda that tells you drugs are the only real solution, there’s good chance you’re going to go to your doctor and ask for that drug, whether it’s your best option or not. Because you don’t know there’s a different way…a better way.

And, when patients come in pleading for fast and easy pills, it’s hard to say no, especially when you’re not well-versed in the mindset-based solution that, once learned, costs nothing for life and dramatically improves not only your sex-life, but your relationship and life.

So, now you know the truth about ED drugs.

You’ve finally seem how horrible a a choice they are for all but a few men who’ve got no other choice.

But, I’m betting, especially if you’ve been searching online, there’s another option you’ve run into…

ORDER YOUR RISK-FREE ED THERAPY PROGRAM TODAY – JUST $97!

For most men, your real problem is not in your penis, it’s in your head.

That doesn’t mean it’s not real. It is VERY REAL!

But, it’s not about the plumbing, it’s about the crippling, anxiety-producing, confidence-shattering thoughts, concerns and fears that are cutting off blood flow to a penis that’s otherwise fully capable of getting reliably rock-hard.

Which is why I’ve distilled my decades of practice into a clinically-validated, step-by-step, home-based, drug-free, herb-free, supplement-free (meaning scam-free), totally-discrete, lasting program that:

Gives you back dependable, rock-hard erections

Frees you from being shackled to medication for life that can kill or maim you, stop working without notice and cost tens-of-thousands

Stops you from buying or dying from rogue herbal remedies online or on the street

Eliminates potentially mortifying pill-popping moments

Puts and end to the shame, anxiety and fear about not being able to “get it up.”

Is free for life, once you understand and master the techniques

Has zero side-effects or risk factors (beyond massive gains in confidence)

Can be mastered in a matter of weeks or months in total privacy without ever having to visit a doctors office or healthcare professional

Was developed, tested and validated over more than 30 years in a clinical setting, and…

Is virtually guaranteed to work for YOU.

It bypasses your plumbing and goes straight to the heart of the problem…YOUR MIND

ORDER YOUR RISK-FREE ED THERAPY PROGRAM TODAY – JUST $97!

Component #1: The Mind Over ED Manual

The foundation component of the ED Brain Breakthrough program is the 50-page Mind Over ED Manual. It’s packed with information that will quickly transform the way you feel about your ED, yourself and your partner, then reveal the heart of the proven treatment protocol developed over 30 years and tested and refined on thousands of patients.

Here’s a sampling of what you’ll discover:

How to overcome the mental barriers to getting and staying hard

How to maintain stronger erections that last longer

How to become a better lover, regardless of whether you have trouble getting hard

How to talk with your partner about sex and what’s going on with your erections in a way that makes you both comfortable

How to rapidly overcome performance anxiety and reclaim your erection

How to take the pressure off by refocusing on your partner

The Guide Book will also:

Shatter the biggest myths about losing your erection, expose what’s really happening and how to get back to great sex.

Walk you through a custom Sexual Response Assessment that will help you determine the exact steps and techniques needed to rediscover regular, strong, lasting erections

Reveal the surprising link between morning erections, sexual erections and the need for medication.

Let you understand the difference between the physical and mental components of ED and what the impact of each is on your specific erectile challenges

Identify the 6 major physical causes of ED and guide you through determining which, if any, you have

Reveal the rarely discussed, yet erection-killing 7 psychological causes of ED

Give you a window, maybe for the first time ever, into what’s REALLY going through a woman’s head when you can’t get it up or keep it up

Discover the 3 things you need to do immediately upon losing an erection if you want any chance of getting it back while still in the moment

Learn the true effect of “blame” on your ability to get and stay hard

Share the 4 things your partner can do to help you get your erection back

Reveal the 7 huge mistakes most men make when trying to keep your erection strong

Give you the 1 question you need to ask your doctor about every medicine they ever prescribe

Explain what’s really happening when the pills don’t make you hard

Uncover a single technique that will not only enhance your sexual prowess, it’ll help get, maintain and recover strong, lasting erections

Bust the myths about what’s natural with age and what’s just in your head

Explain why trying to get hard will almost always make you soft

Show you the 4 critical guidelines to recapturing intimacy with your lover

Reveal the 5 key steps for a lifetime of hot sex

Tell you what single test to ask your doctor for in order to tell if you’re one of small percentage of men who may be best served by medication

Share the 5 thought-based techniques that will allow you to literally think your erection back to life. 

Here’s a quick look at the Chapters in The Mind Over ED Manual

Introduction

Chapter 1: Under The Hood: Anatomy of an Erection

Chapter 2: What Erectile Dysfunction Is…and Isn’t

Chapter 3: Physical Causes of Erectile Dysfunction

Chapter 4: Psych Cause of Erectile Dysfunction

Chapter 5: First Aid To Save Your Relationship

Chapter 6: Seven Ways to Keep Your Erection Strong

Chapter 7: See It, Believe It, And It Will Happen

Chapter 8: Change Your Focus, Grow Your Erection

Chapter 9: Four Key Guidelines For A Return To Hot Sex

Chapter 10: Five Steps for a Lifetime of Hot Sex

Appendix A: Uncommon Erection Wisdom

Appendix B: Think Your Way to Erection

Value: $149

Mind Over ED Mindset Training Audio & Script

In less than 10 minutes a day, this mindset and relaxation training audio will begin to transform your thought patterns around ED and reprogram you to reverse your ED and be able to reclaim your erections. Use this for a few weeks, then graduate to the included 30-second script that you can simply memorize, then play in your mind just before sex to help ensure a powerful erection and great sex.

Value: $49

The Mind Over ED Complete Lover Secret Dossier

The Mind Over ED Complete Lover Secret Dossier is packed with precious strategies, secrets and techniques designed to turn your ED on its head and use it to make you an even better lover than before ED!

You’ll discover:

How to go from an adequate lover to a super lover AND relieve performance pressure

How ANY man can please his partner AND take the pressure off his penis practically instantly

The SECRET you may already know but aren’t using to connect with your partner sexually—and it doesn’t require an erection! 

The 3 steps to surrendering to your partner that will actually put you in control

The 6 eye opening tactics for super-boosting your arousal and your partner’s arousal instantly

3 easy- to- do things that will tempt your partner to tell her friends that you deserve the GREAT LOVER award—AND will also help you relax and enjoy sex again!

10 super-charged strategies for bringing romance into your relationship AND restoring erectile confidence

5 crucial steps that will keep you aroused and avoid the distractions that undermine your erections

To identify the 3 Sex Bandits and the 5 steps to rid them from your life

How to keep rolling sexually and enjoying it no matter how old you are

Value: $49

Your Most Intimate Sex Questions Answered

Over 30 years, I’ve been asked every question on the planet about sex, including ones you’d never even have the guts to ask, even anonymously online…but you desperately want the answers to.

Your Most Intimate Sex Questions Answered isn’t just a book, it’s a veritable top-secret roadmap to the answers you’ve been dying to know for years. It’s filled, from end-to-end, with all the private questions that men and women have asked me about sex.

You’ll discover amazingly frank, but sensitive, clinically grounded answers designed for you and your partner, and while I include a lot of very direct, how to (and, how not-to) insights, strategies and techniques, what you’ll learn goes way beyond that.

You’ll literally benefit from the best, most powerful, sometimes even provocative advice shared with my private patients over 30 years. It’s the next best thing to being on the couch in my office, and getting to ask that deep, dark question you’d kill to have answered, but would never dare to ask in person. The one that’ll not only let you experience your fantasy sex, but blow the mind of your partner.

Value: $49

Five Fast Fixes To Overcome Performance Anxiety—

This one bonus is actually like a cheat sheet for the entire ED Brain Breakthrough program. Fact is, performance anxiety is the single most common cause of erectile dysfunction; these 5 fast fixes literally have the power to stop ED in tracks for so many men. It includes:

The one thing you must say to partner when you experience ED that’ll make everything a lot better

The one way you should never think about sex if you want to be able to get hard

The one thing to avoid in life in order to have better erections more consistently

The one thing you need to do minutes BEFORE sex in order get and stay hard

How you must redefine sex in order to take back your erection

Value: $29

Five Steps to Shaking Off the Sexual Blahs

It can happen to all of us, especially if it is coupled with ED. This report reveals 5 clinically supported tactics for getting out of sexual quicksand fast, including insights, advice, recommendations and strategies you’d never imagine would make a real difference…but can have a huge impact.

Value: $29

Ten Steps to Becoming Sexually Active After Divorce

Divorce is epidemic and so are sexual issues as a result. This special report shares a set of highly-effective, sometimes even counterintuitive strategies that will empower you to get past the trauma of divorce and not only reclaim “a” sex life, but revel in the best sex you’ve ever had.

Value: $29

Total Value of the Mind Over ED program = more than $350…

ORDER YOUR RISK-FREE ED THERAPY PROGRAM TODAY – JUST $97!

Compared To a Lifetime of Medication, The Cost of The

Mind Over ED™ Program Essentially Rounds To Zero…

We’ve already seen how drug and herbal approaches can end up costing you $20,000 to $60,000. And, while I have a perpetually packed patient schedule, you’d very likely end up paying me $2,000 to $20,000 for private therapy.

Which is why I’m so excited to be able to share Mind Over ED™ program with you at a price that, comparatively, is one step away from me practically handing you the keys to your erection for free.

For a short time, the entire Mind Over ED program is only…$97.This version will give you immediate access to a private online vault where you’ll be able to discretely download everything within minutes.

How Does Mind Over ED Stack Up?

Thousands of Men Have Already Reversed Their ED…

I am blessed to receive phone calls and hugs from patients every day who’ve experienced the impact of the Mind Over ED.

All told thousands have experienced what you’re about to experience.

But, as I’m sure you can imagine, it’s not the easiest thing to get anyone to go public with their struggles with ED and their dramatic, drug-free results.

Even so, here are a few stories from men who’ve experienced what it’s like to reclaim their erections, their sex-life and, often, their relationships using the knowledge and techniques included in The Mind Over ED program…

Here’s A Snapshot Of Everything You’ll get with the Mind Over ED Program

Unconditional 60-day, 100% Money-Back Guarantee

The Mind Over ED™ program has been developed, tested and refined with real patients in a clinical setting for more than 30 years.

Still, I realize there are so many predatory companies and people peddling sham solutions, I’ve decided to take on 100% of the risk.

So, here’s what I’m doing…

Order Mind Over ED, use it exactly as instructed for 60-days (it won’t work if you let it languish…along with your sex life). I guarantee, if you follow every step in the process, you will experience a substantial improvement in your ability to get hard again, be more intimate and reclaim your sex life.

If for any reason, you do not experience satisfactory results simply contact www.clickjbank.com before the end of 60-days.Please bear in mind, the program works, but you must work it and give it time. If still not satisfied…We’ll issue you a refund for 100% of the purchase price, no questions asked.

Sounds fair to you, right?

Can You Think Of A Legitimate Reason Not To Try?

The Mind Over ED is based on my work with thousands of men just like you over more than 30 years. It’s been tested, refined and honed for decades. It just plain works…and it won’t put you at risk. That’s why I’m so comfortable offering you a full 60-day, 100% money-back guarantee.

But, here’s the thing, Mind Over ED only works when you take action.

Reading this far, nodding your head and agreeing with everything I’ve shared won’t give you back reliable erections, your sex-life, your self-regard or your lover. For that to happen, you need to act. In fact, the simple fact that you’ve read this far proves how committed you are to finally putting your ED behind you.

I wonder what might happen to your confidence, your relationships and your sex life if you stepped up right now and said…

“YES Dr. B! I’m Ready to reverse my ED today?!”

Get instant access to comprehensive, step-by-step solution, download it now and start benefiting from the program minutes after you’ve ordered.

In order to ensure discretion, you will be emailed a generic download link with no indication of the content. It will come from Dr. Block and the subject line will read, “Men’s Health Update: Download Information.”

Get it in a matter of seconds when you order it right now.

Congrats on choosing to reclaim reliable, drug-free erections for life! 

Joel Block, Ph.D.

Clinical Psychologist & Founder of The Mind Over ED™ program

P.S. – If you were on the fence before discovering the truth about what really works and what’s more than a bit terrifying, I completely understand. I’m so glad to have been able to open your eyes to the truth and take the “drugs-for-life” weight off your shoulders. Now, you can finally get back to the business of rejuvenating your sex-life, confidence and relationships without worrying about side-effects, costs and pill-popping moments.

[allenmendezsr]

Dr. Blocks Wellness Program

New Post has been published on https://autotraffixpro.app/allenmendezsr/dr-blocks-wellness-program/

Dr. Blocks Wellness Program

 Buy Now

    From Dr. Joel Block

What If You Could Reclaim Reliable, Rock-Hard Erections, Avoid Mortifying Moments, and Discover The Best Sex of Your Life Without Drugs, Pills or Potions That Can Leave You Limp Or Lifeless?

Take a deep breath…

You know that moment you keep dreading? The one where you’re minutes from an encounter and you have no idea if your erection is going to be there?

That moment…it’s over. For life.

But, it’s not going to happen the way you think. Or the way you’ve been told it has to happen.

Because, for the vast majority of men, drugs, herbs, pills and potions are completely unnecessary.

I’ll explain how and why in a second, but first, I have to get this out of the way…

If you’re anxious about whether the info I’m sharing with you is real, or just another online ED scam…that’s actually a good thing. I want you to be cautious. I want you to question what people are telling you (and trying to sell you), who they are, what their credentials are and what their agendas are. Because, there’s a parade of online scammers and back-alley hucksters selling bogus ED “cures” (in fact, if you see the words ED and cure in the same sentence, run).

And, sadly, mega drug-companies have now taken the reigns in the push to brainwash you into believing you need penis pills until the day you die (a day those same drugs might play a role in).

Before you choose drugs or herbal hooey, don’t you wonder how important it might be to understand the truth about what works, what’s utter fiction…and what’s so dangerous it’s actually been implicated in more than 200 deaths worldwide.

Dr. Joel Block

My name is Dr. Joel Block. Over the last 30 years, I’ve successfully treated thousands of men just like you in my New York offices. Yes, my real clinical offices, where real diplomas hang on the walls. Men come to me in tears, often having flown in from around the world, terrified of what might happen the next time they’re alone with a date or even a longtime lover or spouse…and can’t get an erection. Overcome by feelings of shame, anxiety and frustration, asking…

“Is there any way for me to get a reliable erection that doesn’t involve taking pills-for-life, a parade of awkward moments, never knowing if it’s really going to work, spending tens of thousands of dollars and the risk of me dying or getting one of those 4-hour erections that the commercials say you might get with pills…the ones that can cause permanent injury?”

Short answer. YES! A thousand time yes.

For all but a small subset of men who have either organic issues (like a radical prostatectomy) or more involved psychological issues, there is another way. One that will allow you to reclaim reliable erections FOR LIFE without the risk, embarrassment or cost of pills, bizarre herbal potions or permanently-inured penises.

ORDER YOUR RISK-FREE ED THERAPY PROGRAM TODAY – JUST $97!

I’ve Devoted My Life To Helping Men Just Like You…

Dr. Block

As a senior psychologist at North Shore-Long Island Jewish Health System in NY, I’ve supervised a major hospital’s Sexuality Center for decades, treating thousands of individuals and couples with sexual challenges.

I’ve become known as the doctor of last resort.

Men from all walks of life, from powerful CEOs to college students, have flown in from around the word to work with me after having failed at every other type of treatment, drugs included (yes, they don’t always work and even when they do, it’s not unusual for them to stop working without notice, until you fix the REAL problem).

I became so proficient at treating sexual problems deemed by so many others “unsolvable,” I was appointed to train doctoral interns in sex therapy and eventually appointed an Assistant Clinical Professor of Psychiatry on the faculty of Einstein College of Medicine and a Diplomate of the American Board of Professional Psychology.

You may also have seen me featured in a variety of newspapers and magazines, as well as being a guest on:

•Today,

•Good Morning America,

•Charlie Rose,

•Countless radio shows, including Playboy Radio.

And, I have also been a psychology consultant to ABC. You may have also come across one of the many books on love relationships and sexuality I’ve written, including:

Also, and this is really important…I’m not affiliated with any pharmaceutical company or herbal remedy purveyor.

I have no agenda to try to sell you on a lifetime of dependence on their supposed solutions. I don’t get paid to recommend them, I don’t profit if you take them. I am completely independent, which makes it easier for me to stand up and reveal what’s really going on…

The reason I’m writing this is to share with you an option that you’re not being told about. In fact, the potion-pushers are spending billions to keep you from learning it.

ORDER YOUR RISK-FREE ED THERAPY PROGRAM TODAY – JUST $97!

The Day Big Drug Companies Fooled The World…

Back in the 1990s, researchers at a major drug company discovered that a highly-aggressive class of drugs known as PDE5 inhibitors, which were developed to treat hypertension and angina, failed miserably, but seemed to have a side effect. They were causing erections in some men. Clinical trials were re-tooled, the FDA was put on notice, pills were approved and the pharmaceutical companies began to wage a multibillion-dollar advertising propaganda campaign in an effort to convince you to hand your sex life over to their pills and pay them for the rest of your life.

But, there was a problem…

These drugs were originally intended to treat life-threatening conditions. They are very strong, very serious drugs. And, they carry a laundry list of potential dangers and contraindications.

In the context of saving your life, you might be able to justify the potential dangers posed. But, in the quest for an erection, the risks become extremely difficult to justify.

CIALIS®, LEVITRA®, VIAGRA® and Other “PDE5 inhibitors” Exposed

Watching the TV ads with silver-haired men giving their adoring wives and girlfriends that manly wink, you’d think medication was the dream solution. Pop a pill, shuffle off to the bedroom, have sex, get on your hog and ride into the sunset with your manhood reclaimed.

But, did you ever notice anything else about those ads?

Like the fact that nearly HALF of the ad time is taken up by a laundry list of everything that can go wrong, even horribly wrong, just minutes after their prescription medication enters your system?

Before you consider resorting to drug-induced erections, you may want to know about these potential side-effects. 

When you take PDE5-inhibitors, you may suffer:

A sudden, unsafe drop in blood pressure.

An uncontrollable erection that does not go down and causes long-term injury to your penis and your ability to ever get hard again.

Loss of vision or impaired vision

Loss of hearing without any warning

Headaches

Facial flushing

Stomach pain

Blue-tinted vision (I did not make that up)

Blurred vision

Sensitivity to light

Severe hypotension

Heart attack

Ventricular arrhythmias, and

Stroke

And, this doesn’t even include the huge list of drug and condition contraindications that when, mixed with ED drugs, have been investigated as a factor in more than 200 reported deaths.

And, here’s something else the drug-companies will never tell you…

It’s not unusual for ED drugs to stop working, without notice…

That’s right, it’s entirely possible that you’ll pop a pill hoping for a lightning rod at that critical moment…and end up with a wet noodle.

Even if it works once, it may well NOT work at some point in the future. And, the thing is, you’ll never get any warning before the pill leaves you limp. The only way you’ll know the pill has failed is when you reach that critical moment…and nothing happens.

How can this be? Because the drugs don’t actually start your erection, they only make it work better AFTER your brain is sufficiently aroused. It’s your BRAIN that lights your fire and gets your juices flowing. And, that only happens when you’re psychologically in the place you need to be. When you’ve taken care of…

The critical mindset fixes that need to be made for you to get hard, drugs or no drugs.

So, the bad news is ED drugs will likely never give you RELIABLE erections. Even if they work once, you’ll always be left wondering…

“Is this the day I go down in flames?”

Because your real problem is likely not in your penis, it’s in your head.

And, even if you could rely on pills (which you can’t)

Have you ever added up what it’ll cost you to rent your erection for life?

Do you have any idea what the real economic cost will be to you? I always knew ED drugs were insanely expensive, but when a pharmacist friend recently reminded me, if you get your drugs through legitimate channels, the average pill cost is about $20, I was floored. Think about that for a minute. If you had drug-induced sex only once a week, your penis pills would end up costing you more than $1,000 a year. Bump that to twice a week and you’re over $2,000 a year. Now, extend that out over the next 20 or 30 years, that’s…

$20,000 to $60,000…to rent your own erection once or twice a week!

So, we now know that ED-drugs can:

Cause permanent-injury to your penis, debilitating-illness, disability and even death,

Stop working at any given moment without any notice, and

Cost you $20,000 – $60,000 for life

By now, you’ve got to be wondering something…

If this is all true, then why do some doctors prescribe it so readily?

Reason #1: A Small Percentage of Men Actually DO Need Pills

A small percentage, those who have what we call an “organic” basis for ED, like having undergone a radical prostatectomy or having serious heart disease, may be best served by pills (though certain heart conditions may also make medication unsafe). Though, truth is, even if that’s you, pills may still not work. Because even when an organic basis for ED is present, there is also ALWAYS a psychological basis. And, if that’s left unaddressed…it’s not unusual for the drugs to outright fail.

Reason #2: Most Doctors Do Not Know About Drug-Free Mindset-based Treatment

As a clinical psychologist who is also on the faculty at Einstein Medical School in NYC, I’ve specialized in the area of sexual dysfunction for more than 30 years. I’ve been at the forefront of research. I live and breathe this every day. But, truth is, most physicians don’t. For decades, they’d routinely send patients to psychologists or psychiatrists for treatment. But, they had little or no exposure to my highly-specialized area of practice or the highly-effective non-drug treatments I’ve used to overcome ED in my patients every day for decades. And, nowadays, truth is, it’s often easier to just offer drugs. In this case, easier is often the worst thing you can do.

Reason #3: Big Pharma Is Spending Billions to Brainwash You Into Thinking Drug-Induced Erections Are Your Only Option

When you’re constantly barraged with propaganda that tells you drugs are the only real solution, there’s good chance you’re going to go to your doctor and ask for that drug, whether it’s your best option or not. Because you don’t know there’s a different way…a better way.

And, when patients come in pleading for fast and easy pills, it’s hard to say no, especially when you’re not well-versed in the mindset-based solution that, once learned, costs nothing for life and dramatically improves not only your sex-life, but your relationship and life.

So, now you know the truth about ED drugs.

You’ve finally seem how horrible a a choice they are for all but a few men who’ve got no other choice.

But, I’m betting, especially if you’ve been searching online, there’s another option you’ve run into…

ORDER YOUR RISK-FREE ED THERAPY PROGRAM TODAY – JUST $97!

For most men, your real problem is not in your penis, it’s in your head.

That doesn’t mean it’s not real. It is VERY REAL!

But, it’s not about the plumbing, it’s about the crippling, anxiety-producing, confidence-shattering thoughts, concerns and fears that are cutting off blood flow to a penis that’s otherwise fully capable of getting reliably rock-hard.

Which is why I’ve distilled my decades of practice into a clinically-validated, step-by-step, home-based, drug-free, herb-free, supplement-free (meaning scam-free), totally-discrete, lasting program that:

Gives you back dependable, rock-hard erections

Frees you from being shackled to medication for life that can kill or maim you, stop working without notice and cost tens-of-thousands

Stops you from buying or dying from rogue herbal remedies online or on the street

Eliminates potentially mortifying pill-popping moments

Puts and end to the shame, anxiety and fear about not being able to “get it up.”

Is free for life, once you understand and master the techniques

Has zero side-effects or risk factors (beyond massive gains in confidence)

Can be mastered in a matter of weeks or months in total privacy without ever having to visit a doctors office or healthcare professional

Was developed, tested and validated over more than 30 years in a clinical setting, and…

Is virtually guaranteed to work for YOU.

It bypasses your plumbing and goes straight to the heart of the problem…YOUR MIND

ORDER YOUR RISK-FREE ED THERAPY PROGRAM TODAY – JUST $97!

Component #1: The Mind Over ED Manual

The foundation component of the ED Brain Breakthrough program is the 50-page Mind Over ED Manual. It’s packed with information that will quickly transform the way you feel about your ED, yourself and your partner, then reveal the heart of the proven treatment protocol developed over 30 years and tested and refined on thousands of patients.

Here’s a sampling of what you’ll discover:

How to overcome the mental barriers to getting and staying hard

How to maintain stronger erections that last longer

How to become a better lover, regardless of whether you have trouble getting hard

How to talk with your partner about sex and what’s going on with your erections in a way that makes you both comfortable

How to rapidly overcome performance anxiety and reclaim your erection

How to take the pressure off by refocusing on your partner

The Guide Book will also:

Shatter the biggest myths about losing your erection, expose what’s really happening and how to get back to great sex.

Walk you through a custom Sexual Response Assessment that will help you determine the exact steps and techniques needed to rediscover regular, strong, lasting erections

Reveal the surprising link between morning erections, sexual erections and the need for medication.

Let you understand the difference between the physical and mental components of ED and what the impact of each is on your specific erectile challenges

Identify the 6 major physical causes of ED and guide you through determining which, if any, you have

Reveal the rarely discussed, yet erection-killing 7 psychological causes of ED

Give you a window, maybe for the first time ever, into what’s REALLY going through a woman’s head when you can’t get it up or keep it up

Discover the 3 things you need to do immediately upon losing an erection if you want any chance of getting it back while still in the moment

Learn the true effect of “blame” on your ability to get and stay hard

Share the 4 things your partner can do to help you get your erection back

Reveal the 7 huge mistakes most men make when trying to keep your erection strong

Give you the 1 question you need to ask your doctor about every medicine they ever prescribe

Explain what’s really happening when the pills don’t make you hard

Uncover a single technique that will not only enhance your sexual prowess, it’ll help get, maintain and recover strong, lasting erections

Bust the myths about what’s natural with age and what’s just in your head

Explain why trying to get hard will almost always make you soft

Show you the 4 critical guidelines to recapturing intimacy with your lover

Reveal the 5 key steps for a lifetime of hot sex

Tell you what single test to ask your doctor for in order to tell if you’re one of small percentage of men who may be best served by medication

Share the 5 thought-based techniques that will allow you to literally think your erection back to life. 

Here’s a quick look at the Chapters in The Mind Over ED Manual

Introduction

Chapter 1: Under The Hood: Anatomy of an Erection

Chapter 2: What Erectile Dysfunction Is…and Isn’t

Chapter 3: Physical Causes of Erectile Dysfunction

Chapter 4: Psych Cause of Erectile Dysfunction

Chapter 5: First Aid To Save Your Relationship

Chapter 6: Seven Ways to Keep Your Erection Strong

Chapter 7: See It, Believe It, And It Will Happen

Chapter 8: Change Your Focus, Grow Your Erection

Chapter 9: Four Key Guidelines For A Return To Hot Sex

Chapter 10: Five Steps for a Lifetime of Hot Sex

Appendix A: Uncommon Erection Wisdom

Appendix B: Think Your Way to Erection

Value: $149

Mind Over ED Mindset Training Audio & Script

In less than 10 minutes a day, this mindset and relaxation training audio will begin to transform your thought patterns around ED and reprogram you to reverse your ED and be able to reclaim your erections. Use this for a few weeks, then graduate to the included 30-second script that you can simply memorize, then play in your mind just before sex to help ensure a powerful erection and great sex.

Value: $49

The Mind Over ED Complete Lover Secret Dossier

The Mind Over ED Complete Lover Secret Dossier is packed with precious strategies, secrets and techniques designed to turn your ED on its head and use it to make you an even better lover than before ED!

You’ll discover:

How to go from an adequate lover to a super lover AND relieve performance pressure

How ANY man can please his partner AND take the pressure off his penis practically instantly

The SECRET you may already know but aren’t using to connect with your partner sexually—and it doesn’t require an erection! 

The 3 steps to surrendering to your partner that will actually put you in control

The 6 eye opening tactics for super-boosting your arousal and your partner’s arousal instantly

3 easy- to- do things that will tempt your partner to tell her friends that you deserve the GREAT LOVER award—AND will also help you relax and enjoy sex again!

10 super-charged strategies for bringing romance into your relationship AND restoring erectile confidence

5 crucial steps that will keep you aroused and avoid the distractions that undermine your erections

To identify the 3 Sex Bandits and the 5 steps to rid them from your life

How to keep rolling sexually and enjoying it no matter how old you are

Value: $49

Your Most Intimate Sex Questions Answered

Over 30 years, I’ve been asked every question on the planet about sex, including ones you’d never even have the guts to ask, even anonymously online…but you desperately want the answers to.

Your Most Intimate Sex Questions Answered isn’t just a book, it’s a veritable top-secret roadmap to the answers you’ve been dying to know for years. It’s filled, from end-to-end, with all the private questions that men and women have asked me about sex.

You’ll discover amazingly frank, but sensitive, clinically grounded answers designed for you and your partner, and while I include a lot of very direct, how to (and, how not-to) insights, strategies and techniques, what you’ll learn goes way beyond that.

You’ll literally benefit from the best, most powerful, sometimes even provocative advice shared with my private patients over 30 years. It’s the next best thing to being on the couch in my office, and getting to ask that deep, dark question you’d kill to have answered, but would never dare to ask in person. The one that’ll not only let you experience your fantasy sex, but blow the mind of your partner.

Value: $49

Five Fast Fixes To Overcome Performance Anxiety—

This one bonus is actually like a cheat sheet for the entire ED Brain Breakthrough program. Fact is, performance anxiety is the single most common cause of erectile dysfunction; these 5 fast fixes literally have the power to stop ED in tracks for so many men. It includes:

The one thing you must say to partner when you experience ED that’ll make everything a lot better

The one way you should never think about sex if you want to be able to get hard

The one thing to avoid in life in order to have better erections more consistently

The one thing you need to do minutes BEFORE sex in order get and stay hard

How you must redefine sex in order to take back your erection

Value: $29

Five Steps to Shaking Off the Sexual Blahs

It can happen to all of us, especially if it is coupled with ED. This report reveals 5 clinically supported tactics for getting out of sexual quicksand fast, including insights, advice, recommendations and strategies you’d never imagine would make a real difference…but can have a huge impact.

Value: $29

Ten Steps to Becoming Sexually Active After Divorce

Divorce is epidemic and so are sexual issues as a result. This special report shares a set of highly-effective, sometimes even counterintuitive strategies that will empower you to get past the trauma of divorce and not only reclaim “a” sex life, but revel in the best sex you’ve ever had.

Value: $29

Total Value of the Mind Over ED program = more than $350…

ORDER YOUR RISK-FREE ED THERAPY PROGRAM TODAY – JUST $97!

Compared To a Lifetime of Medication, The Cost of The

Mind Over ED™ Program Essentially Rounds To Zero…

We’ve already seen how drug and herbal approaches can end up costing you $20,000 to $60,000. And, while I have a perpetually packed patient schedule, you’d very likely end up paying me $2,000 to $20,000 for private therapy.

Which is why I’m so excited to be able to share Mind Over ED™ program with you at a price that, comparatively, is one step away from me practically handing you the keys to your erection for free.

For a short time, the entire Mind Over ED program is only…$97.This version will give you immediate access to a private online vault where you’ll be able to discretely download everything within minutes.

How Does Mind Over ED Stack Up?

Thousands of Men Have Already Reversed Their ED…

I am blessed to receive phone calls and hugs from patients every day who’ve experienced the impact of the Mind Over ED.

All told thousands have experienced what you’re about to experience.

But, as I’m sure you can imagine, it’s not the easiest thing to get anyone to go public with their struggles with ED and their dramatic, drug-free results.

Even so, here are a few stories from men who’ve experienced what it’s like to reclaim their erections, their sex-life and, often, their relationships using the knowledge and techniques included in The Mind Over ED program…

Here’s A Snapshot Of Everything You’ll get with the Mind Over ED Program

Unconditional 60-day, 100% Money-Back Guarantee

The Mind Over ED™ program has been developed, tested and refined with real patients in a clinical setting for more than 30 years.

Still, I realize there are so many predatory companies and people peddling sham solutions, I’ve decided to take on 100% of the risk.

So, here’s what I’m doing…

Order Mind Over ED, use it exactly as instructed for 60-days (it won’t work if you let it languish…along with your sex life). I guarantee, if you follow every step in the process, you will experience a substantial improvement in your ability to get hard again, be more intimate and reclaim your sex life.

If for any reason, you do not experience satisfactory results simply contact www.clickjbank.com before the end of 60-days.Please bear in mind, the program works, but you must work it and give it time. If still not satisfied…We’ll issue you a refund for 100% of the purchase price, no questions asked.

Sounds fair to you, right?

Can You Think Of A Legitimate Reason Not To Try?

The Mind Over ED is based on my work with thousands of men just like you over more than 30 years. It’s been tested, refined and honed for decades. It just plain works…and it won’t put you at risk. That’s why I’m so comfortable offering you a full 60-day, 100% money-back guarantee.

But, here’s the thing, Mind Over ED only works when you take action.

Reading this far, nodding your head and agreeing with everything I’ve shared won’t give you back reliable erections, your sex-life, your self-regard or your lover. For that to happen, you need to act. In fact, the simple fact that you’ve read this far proves how committed you are to finally putting your ED behind you.

I wonder what might happen to your confidence, your relationships and your sex life if you stepped up right now and said…

“YES Dr. B! I’m Ready to reverse my ED today?!”

Get instant access to comprehensive, step-by-step solution, download it now and start benefiting from the program minutes after you’ve ordered.

In order to ensure discretion, you will be emailed a generic download link with no indication of the content. It will come from Dr. Block and the subject line will read, “Men’s Health Update: Download Information.”

Get it in a matter of seconds when you order it right now.

Congrats on choosing to reclaim reliable, drug-free erections for life! 

Joel Block, Ph.D.

Clinical Psychologist & Founder of The Mind Over ED™ program

P.S. – If you were on the fence before discovering the truth about what really works and what’s more than a bit terrifying, I completely understand. I’m so glad to have been able to open your eyes to the truth and take the “drugs-for-life” weight off your shoulders. Now, you can finally get back to the business of rejuvenating your sex-life, confidence and relationships without worrying about side-effects, costs and pill-popping moments.

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Dr. Blocks Wellness Program

New Post has been published on http://autotraffixpro.app/allenmendezsr/dr-blocks-wellness-program/

Dr. Blocks Wellness Program

 Buy Now

    From Dr. Joel Block

What If You Could Reclaim Reliable, Rock-Hard Erections, Avoid Mortifying Moments, and Discover The Best Sex of Your Life Without Drugs, Pills or Potions That Can Leave You Limp Or Lifeless?

Take a deep breath…

You know that moment you keep dreading? The one where you’re minutes from an encounter and you have no idea if your erection is going to be there?

That moment…it’s over. For life.

But, it’s not going to happen the way you think. Or the way you’ve been told it has to happen.

Because, for the vast majority of men, drugs, herbs, pills and potions are completely unnecessary.

I’ll explain how and why in a second, but first, I have to get this out of the way…

If you’re anxious about whether the info I’m sharing with you is real, or just another online ED scam…that’s actually a good thing. I want you to be cautious. I want you to question what people are telling you (and trying to sell you), who they are, what their credentials are and what their agendas are. Because, there’s a parade of online scammers and back-alley hucksters selling bogus ED “cures” (in fact, if you see the words ED and cure in the same sentence, run).

And, sadly, mega drug-companies have now taken the reigns in the push to brainwash you into believing you need penis pills until the day you die (a day those same drugs might play a role in).

Before you choose drugs or herbal hooey, don’t you wonder how important it might be to understand the truth about what works, what’s utter fiction…and what’s so dangerous it’s actually been implicated in more than 200 deaths worldwide.

Dr. Joel Block

My name is Dr. Joel Block. Over the last 30 years, I’ve successfully treated thousands of men just like you in my New York offices. Yes, my real clinical offices, where real diplomas hang on the walls. Men come to me in tears, often having flown in from around the world, terrified of what might happen the next time they’re alone with a date or even a longtime lover or spouse…and can’t get an erection. Overcome by feelings of shame, anxiety and frustration, asking…

“Is there any way for me to get a reliable erection that doesn’t involve taking pills-for-life, a parade of awkward moments, never knowing if it’s really going to work, spending tens of thousands of dollars and the risk of me dying or getting one of those 4-hour erections that the commercials say you might get with pills…the ones that can cause permanent injury?”

Short answer. YES! A thousand time yes.

For all but a small subset of men who have either organic issues (like a radical prostatectomy) or more involved psychological issues, there is another way. One that will allow you to reclaim reliable erections FOR LIFE without the risk, embarrassment or cost of pills, bizarre herbal potions or permanently-inured penises.

ORDER YOUR RISK-FREE ED THERAPY PROGRAM TODAY – JUST $97!

I’ve Devoted My Life To Helping Men Just Like You…

Dr. Block

As a senior psychologist at North Shore-Long Island Jewish Health System in NY, I’ve supervised a major hospital’s Sexuality Center for decades, treating thousands of individuals and couples with sexual challenges.

I’ve become known as the doctor of last resort.

Men from all walks of life, from powerful CEOs to college students, have flown in from around the word to work with me after having failed at every other type of treatment, drugs included (yes, they don’t always work and even when they do, it’s not unusual for them to stop working without notice, until you fix the REAL problem).

I became so proficient at treating sexual problems deemed by so many others “unsolvable,” I was appointed to train doctoral interns in sex therapy and eventually appointed an Assistant Clinical Professor of Psychiatry on the faculty of Einstein College of Medicine and a Diplomate of the American Board of Professional Psychology.

You may also have seen me featured in a variety of newspapers and magazines, as well as being a guest on:

•Today,

•Good Morning America,

•Charlie Rose,

•Countless radio shows, including Playboy Radio.

And, I have also been a psychology consultant to ABC. You may have also come across one of the many books on love relationships and sexuality I’ve written, including:

Also, and this is really important…I’m not affiliated with any pharmaceutical company or herbal remedy purveyor.

I have no agenda to try to sell you on a lifetime of dependence on their supposed solutions. I don’t get paid to recommend them, I don’t profit if you take them. I am completely independent, which makes it easier for me to stand up and reveal what’s really going on…

The reason I’m writing this is to share with you an option that you’re not being told about. In fact, the potion-pushers are spending billions to keep you from learning it.

ORDER YOUR RISK-FREE ED THERAPY PROGRAM TODAY – JUST $97!

The Day Big Drug Companies Fooled The World…

Back in the 1990s, researchers at a major drug company discovered that a highly-aggressive class of drugs known as PDE5 inhibitors, which were developed to treat hypertension and angina, failed miserably, but seemed to have a side effect. They were causing erections in some men. Clinical trials were re-tooled, the FDA was put on notice, pills were approved and the pharmaceutical companies began to wage a multibillion-dollar advertising propaganda campaign in an effort to convince you to hand your sex life over to their pills and pay them for the rest of your life.

But, there was a problem…

These drugs were originally intended to treat life-threatening conditions. They are very strong, very serious drugs. And, they carry a laundry list of potential dangers and contraindications.

In the context of saving your life, you might be able to justify the potential dangers posed. But, in the quest for an erection, the risks become extremely difficult to justify.

CIALIS®, LEVITRA®, VIAGRA® and Other “PDE5 inhibitors” Exposed

Watching the TV ads with silver-haired men giving their adoring wives and girlfriends that manly wink, you’d think medication was the dream solution. Pop a pill, shuffle off to the bedroom, have sex, get on your hog and ride into the sunset with your manhood reclaimed.

But, did you ever notice anything else about those ads?

Like the fact that nearly HALF of the ad time is taken up by a laundry list of everything that can go wrong, even horribly wrong, just minutes after their prescription medication enters your system?

Before you consider resorting to drug-induced erections, you may want to know about these potential side-effects. 

When you take PDE5-inhibitors, you may suffer:

A sudden, unsafe drop in blood pressure.

An uncontrollable erection that does not go down and causes long-term injury to your penis and your ability to ever get hard again.

Loss of vision or impaired vision

Loss of hearing without any warning

Headaches

Facial flushing

Stomach pain

Blue-tinted vision (I did not make that up)

Blurred vision

Sensitivity to light

Severe hypotension

Heart attack

Ventricular arrhythmias, and

Stroke

And, this doesn’t even include the huge list of drug and condition contraindications that when, mixed with ED drugs, have been investigated as a factor in more than 200 reported deaths.

And, here’s something else the drug-companies will never tell you…

It’s not unusual for ED drugs to stop working, without notice…

That’s right, it’s entirely possible that you’ll pop a pill hoping for a lightning rod at that critical moment…and end up with a wet noodle.

Even if it works once, it may well NOT work at some point in the future. And, the thing is, you’ll never get any warning before the pill leaves you limp. The only way you’ll know the pill has failed is when you reach that critical moment…and nothing happens.

How can this be? Because the drugs don’t actually start your erection, they only make it work better AFTER your brain is sufficiently aroused. It’s your BRAIN that lights your fire and gets your juices flowing. And, that only happens when you’re psychologically in the place you need to be. When you’ve taken care of…

The critical mindset fixes that need to be made for you to get hard, drugs or no drugs.

So, the bad news is ED drugs will likely never give you RELIABLE erections. Even if they work once, you’ll always be left wondering…

“Is this the day I go down in flames?”

Because your real problem is likely not in your penis, it’s in your head.

And, even if you could rely on pills (which you can’t)

Have you ever added up what it’ll cost you to rent your erection for life?

Do you have any idea what the real economic cost will be to you? I always knew ED drugs were insanely expensive, but when a pharmacist friend recently reminded me, if you get your drugs through legitimate channels, the average pill cost is about $20, I was floored. Think about that for a minute. If you had drug-induced sex only once a week, your penis pills would end up costing you more than $1,000 a year. Bump that to twice a week and you’re over $2,000 a year. Now, extend that out over the next 20 or 30 years, that’s…

$20,000 to $60,000…to rent your own erection once or twice a week!

So, we now know that ED-drugs can:

Cause permanent-injury to your penis, debilitating-illness, disability and even death,

Stop working at any given moment without any notice, and

Cost you $20,000 – $60,000 for life

By now, you’ve got to be wondering something…

If this is all true, then why do some doctors prescribe it so readily?

Reason #1: A Small Percentage of Men Actually DO Need Pills

A small percentage, those who have what we call an “organic” basis for ED, like having undergone a radical prostatectomy or having serious heart disease, may be best served by pills (though certain heart conditions may also make medication unsafe). Though, truth is, even if that’s you, pills may still not work. Because even when an organic basis for ED is present, there is also ALWAYS a psychological basis. And, if that’s left unaddressed…it’s not unusual for the drugs to outright fail.

Reason #2: Most Doctors Do Not Know About Drug-Free Mindset-based Treatment

As a clinical psychologist who is also on the faculty at Einstein Medical School in NYC, I’ve specialized in the area of sexual dysfunction for more than 30 years. I’ve been at the forefront of research. I live and breathe this every day. But, truth is, most physicians don’t. For decades, they’d routinely send patients to psychologists or psychiatrists for treatment. But, they had little or no exposure to my highly-specialized area of practice or the highly-effective non-drug treatments I’ve used to overcome ED in my patients every day for decades. And, nowadays, truth is, it’s often easier to just offer drugs. In this case, easier is often the worst thing you can do.

Reason #3: Big Pharma Is Spending Billions to Brainwash You Into Thinking Drug-Induced Erections Are Your Only Option

When you’re constantly barraged with propaganda that tells you drugs are the only real solution, there’s good chance you’re going to go to your doctor and ask for that drug, whether it’s your best option or not. Because you don’t know there’s a different way…a better way.

And, when patients come in pleading for fast and easy pills, it’s hard to say no, especially when you’re not well-versed in the mindset-based solution that, once learned, costs nothing for life and dramatically improves not only your sex-life, but your relationship and life.

So, now you know the truth about ED drugs.

You’ve finally seem how horrible a a choice they are for all but a few men who’ve got no other choice.

But, I’m betting, especially if you’ve been searching online, there’s another option you’ve run into…

ORDER YOUR RISK-FREE ED THERAPY PROGRAM TODAY – JUST $97!

For most men, your real problem is not in your penis, it’s in your head.

That doesn’t mean it’s not real. It is VERY REAL!

But, it’s not about the plumbing, it’s about the crippling, anxiety-producing, confidence-shattering thoughts, concerns and fears that are cutting off blood flow to a penis that’s otherwise fully capable of getting reliably rock-hard.

Which is why I’ve distilled my decades of practice into a clinically-validated, step-by-step, home-based, drug-free, herb-free, supplement-free (meaning scam-free), totally-discrete, lasting program that:

Gives you back dependable, rock-hard erections

Frees you from being shackled to medication for life that can kill or maim you, stop working without notice and cost tens-of-thousands

Stops you from buying or dying from rogue herbal remedies online or on the street

Eliminates potentially mortifying pill-popping moments

Puts and end to the shame, anxiety and fear about not being able to “get it up.”

Is free for life, once you understand and master the techniques

Has zero side-effects or risk factors (beyond massive gains in confidence)

Can be mastered in a matter of weeks or months in total privacy without ever having to visit a doctors office or healthcare professional

Was developed, tested and validated over more than 30 years in a clinical setting, and…

Is virtually guaranteed to work for YOU.

It bypasses your plumbing and goes straight to the heart of the problem…YOUR MIND

ORDER YOUR RISK-FREE ED THERAPY PROGRAM TODAY – JUST $97!

Component #1: The Mind Over ED Manual

The foundation component of the ED Brain Breakthrough program is the 50-page Mind Over ED Manual. It’s packed with information that will quickly transform the way you feel about your ED, yourself and your partner, then reveal the heart of the proven treatment protocol developed over 30 years and tested and refined on thousands of patients.

Here’s a sampling of what you’ll discover:

How to overcome the mental barriers to getting and staying hard

How to maintain stronger erections that last longer

How to become a better lover, regardless of whether you have trouble getting hard

How to talk with your partner about sex and what’s going on with your erections in a way that makes you both comfortable

How to rapidly overcome performance anxiety and reclaim your erection

How to take the pressure off by refocusing on your partner

The Guide Book will also:

Shatter the biggest myths about losing your erection, expose what’s really happening and how to get back to great sex.

Walk you through a custom Sexual Response Assessment that will help you determine the exact steps and techniques needed to rediscover regular, strong, lasting erections

Reveal the surprising link between morning erections, sexual erections and the need for medication.

Let you understand the difference between the physical and mental components of ED and what the impact of each is on your specific erectile challenges

Identify the 6 major physical causes of ED and guide you through determining which, if any, you have

Reveal the rarely discussed, yet erection-killing 7 psychological causes of ED

Give you a window, maybe for the first time ever, into what’s REALLY going through a woman’s head when you can’t get it up or keep it up

Discover the 3 things you need to do immediately upon losing an erection if you want any chance of getting it back while still in the moment

Learn the true effect of “blame” on your ability to get and stay hard

Share the 4 things your partner can do to help you get your erection back

Reveal the 7 huge mistakes most men make when trying to keep your erection strong

Give you the 1 question you need to ask your doctor about every medicine they ever prescribe

Explain what’s really happening when the pills don’t make you hard

Uncover a single technique that will not only enhance your sexual prowess, it’ll help get, maintain and recover strong, lasting erections

Bust the myths about what’s natural with age and what’s just in your head

Explain why trying to get hard will almost always make you soft

Show you the 4 critical guidelines to recapturing intimacy with your lover

Reveal the 5 key steps for a lifetime of hot sex

Tell you what single test to ask your doctor for in order to tell if you’re one of small percentage of men who may be best served by medication

Share the 5 thought-based techniques that will allow you to literally think your erection back to life. 

Here’s a quick look at the Chapters in The Mind Over ED Manual

Introduction

Chapter 1: Under The Hood: Anatomy of an Erection

Chapter 2: What Erectile Dysfunction Is…and Isn’t

Chapter 3: Physical Causes of Erectile Dysfunction

Chapter 4: Psych Cause of Erectile Dysfunction

Chapter 5: First Aid To Save Your Relationship

Chapter 6: Seven Ways to Keep Your Erection Strong

Chapter 7: See It, Believe It, And It Will Happen

Chapter 8: Change Your Focus, Grow Your Erection

Chapter 9: Four Key Guidelines For A Return To Hot Sex

Chapter 10: Five Steps for a Lifetime of Hot Sex

Appendix A: Uncommon Erection Wisdom

Appendix B: Think Your Way to Erection

Value: $149

Mind Over ED Mindset Training Audio & Script

In less than 10 minutes a day, this mindset and relaxation training audio will begin to transform your thought patterns around ED and reprogram you to reverse your ED and be able to reclaim your erections. Use this for a few weeks, then graduate to the included 30-second script that you can simply memorize, then play in your mind just before sex to help ensure a powerful erection and great sex.

Value: $49

The Mind Over ED Complete Lover Secret Dossier

The Mind Over ED Complete Lover Secret Dossier is packed with precious strategies, secrets and techniques designed to turn your ED on its head and use it to make you an even better lover than before ED!

You’ll discover:

How to go from an adequate lover to a super lover AND relieve performance pressure

How ANY man can please his partner AND take the pressure off his penis practically instantly

The SECRET you may already know but aren’t using to connect with your partner sexually—and it doesn’t require an erection! 

The 3 steps to surrendering to your partner that will actually put you in control

The 6 eye opening tactics for super-boosting your arousal and your partner’s arousal instantly

3 easy- to- do things that will tempt your partner to tell her friends that you deserve the GREAT LOVER award—AND will also help you relax and enjoy sex again!

10 super-charged strategies for bringing romance into your relationship AND restoring erectile confidence

5 crucial steps that will keep you aroused and avoid the distractions that undermine your erections

To identify the 3 Sex Bandits and the 5 steps to rid them from your life

How to keep rolling sexually and enjoying it no matter how old you are

Value: $49

Your Most Intimate Sex Questions Answered

Over 30 years, I’ve been asked every question on the planet about sex, including ones you’d never even have the guts to ask, even anonymously online…but you desperately want the answers to.

Your Most Intimate Sex Questions Answered isn’t just a book, it’s a veritable top-secret roadmap to the answers you’ve been dying to know for years. It’s filled, from end-to-end, with all the private questions that men and women have asked me about sex.

You’ll discover amazingly frank, but sensitive, clinically grounded answers designed for you and your partner, and while I include a lot of very direct, how to (and, how not-to) insights, strategies and techniques, what you’ll learn goes way beyond that.

You’ll literally benefit from the best, most powerful, sometimes even provocative advice shared with my private patients over 30 years. It’s the next best thing to being on the couch in my office, and getting to ask that deep, dark question you’d kill to have answered, but would never dare to ask in person. The one that’ll not only let you experience your fantasy sex, but blow the mind of your partner.

Value: $49

Five Fast Fixes To Overcome Performance Anxiety—

This one bonus is actually like a cheat sheet for the entire ED Brain Breakthrough program. Fact is, performance anxiety is the single most common cause of erectile dysfunction; these 5 fast fixes literally have the power to stop ED in tracks for so many men. It includes:

The one thing you must say to partner when you experience ED that’ll make everything a lot better

The one way you should never think about sex if you want to be able to get hard

The one thing to avoid in life in order to have better erections more consistently

The one thing you need to do minutes BEFORE sex in order get and stay hard

How you must redefine sex in order to take back your erection

Value: $29

Five Steps to Shaking Off the Sexual Blahs

It can happen to all of us, especially if it is coupled with ED. This report reveals 5 clinically supported tactics for getting out of sexual quicksand fast, including insights, advice, recommendations and strategies you’d never imagine would make a real difference…but can have a huge impact.

Value: $29

Ten Steps to Becoming Sexually Active After Divorce

Divorce is epidemic and so are sexual issues as a result. This special report shares a set of highly-effective, sometimes even counterintuitive strategies that will empower you to get past the trauma of divorce and not only reclaim “a” sex life, but revel in the best sex you’ve ever had.

Value: $29

Total Value of the Mind Over ED program = more than $350…

ORDER YOUR RISK-FREE ED THERAPY PROGRAM TODAY – JUST $97!

Compared To a Lifetime of Medication, The Cost of The

Mind Over ED™ Program Essentially Rounds To Zero…

We’ve already seen how drug and herbal approaches can end up costing you $20,000 to $60,000. And, while I have a perpetually packed patient schedule, you’d very likely end up paying me $2,000 to $20,000 for private therapy.

Which is why I’m so excited to be able to share Mind Over ED™ program with you at a price that, comparatively, is one step away from me practically handing you the keys to your erection for free.

For a short time, the entire Mind Over ED program is only…$97.This version will give you immediate access to a private online vault where you’ll be able to discretely download everything within minutes.

How Does Mind Over ED Stack Up?

Thousands of Men Have Already Reversed Their ED…

I am blessed to receive phone calls and hugs from patients every day who’ve experienced the impact of the Mind Over ED.

All told thousands have experienced what you’re about to experience.

But, as I’m sure you can imagine, it’s not the easiest thing to get anyone to go public with their struggles with ED and their dramatic, drug-free results.

Even so, here are a few stories from men who’ve experienced what it’s like to reclaim their erections, their sex-life and, often, their relationships using the knowledge and techniques included in The Mind Over ED program…

Here’s A Snapshot Of Everything You’ll get with the Mind Over ED Program

Unconditional 60-day, 100% Money-Back Guarantee

The Mind Over ED™ program has been developed, tested and refined with real patients in a clinical setting for more than 30 years.

Still, I realize there are so many predatory companies and people peddling sham solutions, I’ve decided to take on 100% of the risk.

So, here’s what I’m doing…

Order Mind Over ED, use it exactly as instructed for 60-days (it won’t work if you let it languish…along with your sex life). I guarantee, if you follow every step in the process, you will experience a substantial improvement in your ability to get hard again, be more intimate and reclaim your sex life.

If for any reason, you do not experience satisfactory results simply contact www.clickjbank.com before the end of 60-days.Please bear in mind, the program works, but you must work it and give it time. If still not satisfied…We’ll issue you a refund for 100% of the purchase price, no questions asked.

Sounds fair to you, right?

Can You Think Of A Legitimate Reason Not To Try?

The Mind Over ED is based on my work with thousands of men just like you over more than 30 years. It’s been tested, refined and honed for decades. It just plain works…and it won’t put you at risk. That’s why I’m so comfortable offering you a full 60-day, 100% money-back guarantee.

But, here’s the thing, Mind Over ED only works when you take action.

Reading this far, nodding your head and agreeing with everything I’ve shared won’t give you back reliable erections, your sex-life, your self-regard or your lover. For that to happen, you need to act. In fact, the simple fact that you’ve read this far proves how committed you are to finally putting your ED behind you.

I wonder what might happen to your confidence, your relationships and your sex life if you stepped up right now and said…

“YES Dr. B! I’m Ready to reverse my ED today?!”

Get instant access to comprehensive, step-by-step solution, download it now and start benefiting from the program minutes after you’ve ordered.

In order to ensure discretion, you will be emailed a generic download link with no indication of the content. It will come from Dr. Block and the subject line will read, “Men’s Health Update: Download Information.”

Get it in a matter of seconds when you order it right now.

Congrats on choosing to reclaim reliable, drug-free erections for life! 

Joel Block, Ph.D.

Clinical Psychologist & Founder of The Mind Over ED™ program

P.S. – If you were on the fence before discovering the truth about what really works and what’s more than a bit terrifying, I completely understand. I’m so glad to have been able to open your eyes to the truth and take the “drugs-for-life” weight off your shoulders. Now, you can finally get back to the business of rejuvenating your sex-life, confidence and relationships without worrying about side-effects, costs and pill-popping moments.