#TELL ME MORE ABOUT THESE COW TOOLS

[telomirage]

janine made what chat said might be the worst character in f@tt history and then sylvi brought out tammy two hats, the cow billiards hustler

[catwrites9]

Ain’t no love in Oklahoma

Kate Martin x reader SMUT

Twisters x Kate Martin crossover

Warnings: smut, praise, fingering(k!receiving), oral(k! receiving), strap on, riding(r! receiving), cussing???,injury, almost death??, use of y/n, cringy cowboy talk, not proof read, blood?, I think that’s it

W/N: I took so long to finish this I’m sorry but I’ve just been busy with a trip and doing preseason for basketball, which I haven’t talked about but I try and write all the time but with school and playing basketball at a d1 school which yes I’m a d1 athlete but I will never say what school I’m at but who knows you might watch my school???????

Masterlist

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It’s the time you dreaded the most. Tornado season. Both your mom and dad are tornado wranglers so that means they made you be one. The worst part is you have to move in with a family you don’t know just to chase a few tornados. The travel there wasn’t that bad, it was just a whole car ride of side country roads just to get to an old farm real estate. Once you got there you were treated by a couple and an older boy and girl. They all introduced themself to you guys but something felt off. You felt like you were being watched. You look to the left and see another woman around your age, blond, and the most beautiful woman you’ve seen. You smile at her and she just ignores you and goes back to digging a hole. Her mom sees where you're looking and introduces Kate. She just looks up and smiles at your mom and dad. She looks at you for a bit and clenches her jaw. She goes back to work and you just furrow your brows in confusion. Both family’s head in but Kate’s mom takes you to the side.

“Normally Kate doesn't like any new people but it seems she took some type of liking to you. Won't you be a doll and just try being friends with her, I feel like she only stays on the property and talks to us. I’m a bit worried” Her mom is nice to you, do you decide to try and befriend her.

Kate is outside sharpening a tool so you decide to go talk to her, maybe get to know her.

“Hey Kate I’m y/n” you hold out you hand and she doesn't even look at you. “So I heard that your like a you stay at home and just tend to your sheep” still no comment “anyways your mom was just telling me about how she wants us to be friends because you never leave the property anymore and have no friends” no comment but she looked annoyed at your comment “so I just wanted to get to know you I mean your family knows mine” no comment “ I feel like I would feel like so lonely if I was only on my property.” She doesn't care about what your saying

“I mean Don’t you want to find love or something” you were just trying to get some reaction out of her, you don’t know why but you just want her attention.

“Ain’t no love in Oklahoma” she finally talks, she’s a has a bit of a southern acent.

“Really, I thought a fine girl like you would have already been married to a cowboy” maybe confidence will make her break?

“I’m not into cowboys” she never made eye contact when you talked to her, you hate it. You grab your heart and faked being offended. “Their all just cocky, their all the same and they always wear that stupid hat everywhere”

“So you're telling me I’m cocky and unoriginal. And what did my hat do”

“Yes your cocky but your not a cow Boy” she enfisseced the last part.

“What are you trying to say darling” she stops what she’s doing, stands up and gets chest to chest with you.

“Don’t darling me, did they not teach you anything in cowboy school huh?…..” she pauses, her presence in front of you gets rid of your confidence. But you regain it. Her mocking tone annoys you. But why does it feel good to have her look at you for once during the conversation.

“They taught me a whole lot more than you, why don't you just spit it out and stop dancing around it” she looks at you annoyed.

“I like cowgirls you bimbo” her crossed arms flexed to emphasize her point.

“Oh… you could have just said that instead of dancing around it like a chicken with its head cut off”

“The chicken would be still and not dancing” her voice now very monotone.

“Did they not teach you sarcasm in southern school huh?” she just grunts at you and goes back to sharpening her tool. You leave her be and just go back to your parents. This is going to be a long month.

No matter what you did she never seemed to like you, but the times you didn’t look at her she was always watching you. She watched for you to mess up just so she could show she’s better. It’s became a rivalry you didn’t want. But she was always near you, it almost felt like she wanted your attention as much as she wanted yours. That’s why she is there wrangling tornados with you and your parents. She’d always make fun of you for random things like your lasso you kept with you during a chase just in case but she never saw why, she questioned everything and loved to push your buttons. Due to her not being experienced with this scene you felt a sense of protectiveness that made you always put her over you. But that’s where you are now in the middle of a f 3 tornado heading right for you.

You guys had to go one by one to run from structure to structure. Your parents went first and then Kate made you go. The ground was wet making it easy to fall, the rain blinding you from seeing in front of you. This almost felt like being stuck in the middle of a hurricane. Once you got to your parents you hugged them and waited for Kate. But that never came. You all yelled at her to come over but she was scared. She froze. Her structure would not hold together once the tornado hit. She needed to move now with how fast the tornado was going. She wasn’t going to move and it hit you that you needed to help her. You can’t just let her stay frozen. The fear of death hits you but you still know what to do. The whistling became almost deafening. You took off running, you heard your parents scream in terror but you couldn’t let that stop you. You somehow didn’t slip and made it to her. She was crying and scared. She was shaking and holding herself in her arms.

“Kate we have to go”

“No I can’t y/n I can’t”

“Yes you can and you will”

“No no I can’t save yourself I’m a liability please”

“I’m not leaving you behind Kate” you grab her and start pulling her to the next building.

“I’m so sorry, I’m just so sorry for everything I’ve acted like an ass to you just for you to save me”

“It’s ok Kate really” you felt the wind, it wasn’t good. All the gear on you weighed you down a bit. You weren’t gonna make it. You could feel yourself being pulled.

“Kate no matter what happens you run and get to my parents and don’t look back, ok Kate”

“What do you mean, y/n what’s happening” she stops in her tacks, you can’t have this you so close you keep pulling her.

“ On the count of 3 you’ll run and don’t look back, I’ll be right behind you” your voice cracks at the end. Kate sees your face.

“Your not gonna behind me are you”

“Please Kate do it now, run, NOW.” She runs as fast as she can without tripping.

The wind takes you a bit, you fall to the floor and get taken by the muddy slope. You landed in a ditch and found the nearest sewer drain. You found one and connected yourself to the pole outside with your lasso. The whole time in the tornado blurred and blacked out. You woke up to Kate right next to you pulling a metal sheet off of you. Your head pounded as you tried to recall what happened. Your body hurt and your face stinged. You had random cuts on you but the main was one on your face that stinged from Kate’s touch. You finch back. Her eyes filled with guilt. You got checked up by a medic and was able to go home the same day. You escaped with just some cuts and bruises. When you got home the house felt weird. The house felt like weary and sorrow. You hat rested on a table with a candle and a picture of you. They all thought you were gone. Kate became distant that whole day. Your parents and her family left to go to dinner but you didn’t feel like going out. You just stayed in your room replaying what happened. You kept wanting to think about what happened to you but all you could think of is the what ifs about Kate. You headed to her room, opened the door, and she wasn’t there. You walked in trying to find her.

“Why did you do it” you jump at her voice behind you.

“Why wouldn’t I”

“Because you could have died. Y/n come on you had us all greivinv you thinking you died”

“So it’s my fault I saved you”

“I’m not, I just, why would you risk your life for someone that’s done nothing but be a pain in your ass”

“Because I could Kate”

“That’s not a reason and I think we both know that’s not the reason”

“I JUST SAVED YOU ALRIGHT ITS THE ONLY THING I COULD THINK OF, THAT WHOLE TIME I WAS JUST WORRIED ABOUT YOU”

“WHY”

“BECAUSE KATE YOU'RE… new to this you can’t hold yourself like I did” your secrets can’t come out she can’t find out that you care about her so much because of you liking her.

“Why did your confidence break, what are you hiding?” She’s catching on.

“Nothing Kate I’m just scared for you”

“Why are you scared for me” her confusion and guilt mixed on her face.

“I just want to protect you”

“BUT WHY Y/N”

“BECAUSE KATE I LIKE YOU, I LIKE YOU SO MUCH I CAN'T SEE A WORLD WHERE I COULD EVER SEE YOU GETTING HURT JUST BECAUSE YOU GOT DRAGGED INTO SOMETHING IM DOING. AND NO MATTER HOW RUDE YOU WERE TO ME I ONLY WANTED YOUR ATTENTION, I just want you, so bad Kate” she was wide eyed and stuck in thought.

Your mind raced as you knew you ruined everything. In a split second she crashed her mouth onto yours and kissed you. The kiss became bore and more heated. She took your hat and started wearing it. You lead her to the bed until the back of her knees hit the surface. She sat down and pulled you on her lap. Her hands explored you, searching for your weak spots. She swipes her tongue on your bottom lip as you grant her access. Both your tongues fight for dominance and explore each other's mouths. She tugs at your shirt and you break apart to quickly take it off and then go back to kissing. Your body instinctively starts grinding in her lap. Kate chuckles a bit. She rests her arms on your waist as she helps you.

She moves back to catch her breath“You know what they say save a horse ride a cowboy” her smug smirk taunting you. Tilting your hat she’s wearing at you.

“Your not a cowboy” once you say that something switches in her. She’s faking being a cowboy the one thing she hates…. But the thought of ridding her takes over your brain.

“I know I’m not but you wouldn’t care either way because all you want to do is ride my cock don’t you. If you climb the saddle” she points down at her lap”be ready to ride. So you’re gonna take my cock aren't you” you nod at her words feeling your arousal grow.

“Are you ready? Are you ready to ride me like a good girl?”She's close to your face, ready to pounce.

“Yes Kate please”

She moves you off her and looks under her bed. She finds it and unboxes it. She tries to take off her clothes but you stop her. “Wait, please let me” you slowly take off her top half and tease her. You kiss down her neck to the waistline of her pants. You get on your knees and take off her pants. You begin to tease her by kissing and grabbing her thighs. You take off her underwear and continue, slowly making your way up. You begin to blow on her clit. Her head throws back in pleasure. Her soft moans of your name stuck forever in your head. You kiss her clit. She moans and grabs your head. You stand up, leaving her shocked.

“You're gonna have to work for it Kate” she’s annoyed, and aroused, but she knows you're gonna pay.

She puts it on and pushes you back onto the bed. She proceeds to leave trails of hot open mouthed kisses on your neck. You tilt your head to the side to give her more access. She finds your sensitive spot and bites down. Leaving you whining. You go to cover your mouth.

“Don’t you fucking dare cover your mouth, I wanna hear all your noises baby” she goes back to licking and sucking the spot. Everytime she bites she gets a whimper from you. She even starts to groan a bit at your noises. She trails down leaving marks everywhere she kisses

She leads her hand down to your cunt. She brings one of her fingers to drag across it, she collects some of your wetness and puts her finger in her mouth. She moans at the taste.

“Fuck baby, so wet for me, I want you to ride me is that alright.” She sits right next to you as you straddle her lap. She helps you with lining up the strap with your hole. Slowly pushing yourself down. Stopping from time to time to let you adjust. You slowly grind your hips, hands resting on Kate’s shoulders, while both of you are moaning. Her hand on your hips helping you ride her. Her strap hitting perfectly on your g spot.

“It’s just like riding a horse ain’t it baby, aren't you so good at that, you're so good at this” your break eye contact from her praise. She grabs your face and makes you look at her the whole time. “Such a good girl” she is now focused on your neck and collarbone, leaving more marks. She periodically thrusts her hips up leaving you moaning her name.

“You sound so pretty moaning in my ear, fuck, I wanna hear you scream my name baby. Don’t hold back” she brings her hand down to your clit.

“Oh yeah you like that’s, like it when I fill you up so good.” The knot in your stomach forming and threatening to snap.

“Am I making you feel good y/n” you nodded “words”

“YES KATE”

“Well then look at me and tell me how good I'm making you feel and beg for more” she stilled your hips making you whine. “You can take it baby, can’t you”

“Please Kate please”

“Beg for it”

“Please Kate fuck me I need you to fuck me”

She leans into your ear “How bad”

“So fucking bad I need you, I’ll do anything”

“Good girl” she proceeds to pound into you at a harsh pace. Your hands are gripping her back leaving red streaks. One hand on your clit and the other on your hip massaging it. She catches you in the middle of moaning to make out with you.

The room filled with moans, groans, and the noise of her cock pounding inside you. The knot in your stomach is about to burst. She pulls back and watches your face. You both hold eye contact and watch each other's faces contort in pleasure.

“Cum with me baby” she put her head into your neck as the knot snaps. You both moan eachothers names. She slowly loses speed in her hips as both of you come down from your high. Your hands are scratching her shoulder as she’s sucking more marks on yours. Both of you panting as her hips finally still. You get off her lap and stand in between her legs, you push her shoulders down so that she’s laying down. Her legs spread more for you. You take the strap off of her and get on your knees.

Her pussy soaking from her prior orgasim. You lick a strip of cunt making her wither underneath you as you push your face away after. Her hand tries pushing you closer.

“Ride my face Kate” she gets up fast and gets into position. One of her hands rests on your head and the other rests on the wall in front of her. Your hat is still on her head. She grinds on your face as your hands rests on her thighs keeding at them. Your lips suck at her clit. Her orgasim coming fast beacuse of her prior one. You move your dominant hand down and stick two fingers into her.

“Y/N OH FUCK YES” your finger find her g spot immediately and curl to hit it with every thrust. Her hips lose their rhythm as she searches for her release.

“Cum for me pretty girl” her face contorted in pleasure. Her head rests on the wall as she rides out her high. Her eyes blown out in bliss, unable to see her blue eyes anymore.

She gets off your face and lays back on her pillows. Your hat finally slides off as you go up to cuddle her.

“What are we gonna tell them about all the marks” she says as her hands trace all of them on your neck.

“That’s a problem tomorrow, for now we should probably shower” you get up and help her up.

The next day you both hid it from your parents and kept it as your little secret. Maybe it wasn’t a bad idea to come to Oklahoma for the tornado season. You both clearly found love in Oklahoma that you never expected. But just maybe this won’t be the last time your here with Kate.

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W/N: I feel like the riding face part was not that good anyways it’s 1 am I have to practice to wish me luck igs.

[princessbrunette]

i’ll never properly write this because it’s sad and i don’t actually like angst — so picture this like an a24 film with me for a second.

tw angst, gore, death … ᨳິ † ♡ྀི ꒱

living in the countryside with your parents in your beautiful farm house. a farmhand is hired to tend to the barn and your animals, jj maybank. naturally, the two of you fall in love. bringing him lunch every day becomes visiting every few hours to talk until the sun goes down while he works and roll around in the hay when you’re sure no one is coming. you tell him your deepest secrets, he tells you his — you’re a goner.

months pass, and jj works up the courage with your permission to come clean to your father— telling him that he’s in love with you and that he would like to start a life with you. your father fires him instantly, tells him he’s disrespected him by sneaking around with his daughter when he should be working. jj leaves, pulling out the ring in the box he’d been hoping to propose to you with that he’d been using all the money from working on the barn to save for.

night falls, and before you settle into bed — you hear a tap on your window. you open it up, letting jj in, elated to see him. whilst trying to smother him in kisses, he pulls you back— taking a more urgent tone, telling you what went down, fearing that he may never see you again. furious, and deciding enough is enough — you beg him to run away with you.

it takes some convincing, but in the end he agrees, beginning to concoct a plan. he tells you to pack up your stuff and meet him down by the back gate at 5AM before sunrise, where he will be waiting with his truck.

you’re nervous, emotional, excited — stuffing all you can fit into your cases and taking a quick rest before it’s time to head out. with one last look at your childhood bedroom, you sneak away. meanwhile, jj returns to the barn to pack up the last of his tools, realising with your new life ahead of you he’ll need them all. with a smile, he finishes packing up his case before hearing your fathers voice behind him.

“i’ve been around these parts a long time.” he begins, a wide leg stance at the barn doors. “know this farm like the back of my hand. a cow gets sick in the night? i know about it. hole in the fence? i know about it. an acorn falls out a god damn tree in the night i know about it so really… if my farmhand is sneakin’ around… thinkin’ he’s being real coy touchin’ on my little girl…”

jj slowly turns, stiff as a board to face him. “you best believe i know about it. i can’t let you leave this barn today son. not with my daughter.”

“look, listen— sir— you’re married, you know how it is when you love someone i’m begging you to hear me out—”

“heard you out last night. i ain’t changin’ my mind.” he reaches into his back waistband but jj is quicker, charging him in a panic. they begin to fight, rolling along the barn floor — and just when your father gets the upper hand on jj, maybank grabs a rogue tool left on the hay and begins to beat your father bloody until he is unrecognisable.

hands covered in blood, jj backs up — shuddering and in disbelief, believing he has killed your father. he mutters to himself, pulling himself together as he begins to recollect the tools that had spilled across the floor in the commotion, ready to get the hell out of there. just as he turns back to leave, your barely conscious father points the gun that was in his back-waistband at jj and pulls the trigger a bunch of times before jj can kick the gun from his grip and finish him off with a wrench.

looking down at himself in shock, he realises one of the bullets got him — right in the stomach. hearing the commotion, you run all the way to the barn to catch jj hobbling out, clutching his stomach.

“so uh, looks like we got a little situation — your old man’s not my biggest fan so why don’t we just —”

“oh my god, jj— what happened you’re — you’re hurt— where is he?” you’re breathless, in shock, disorientated as jj quickly closes the barn doors behind him, but not before you get a glimpse of your fathers mangled body in a pool of his own blood. you blink, rambling, trying to make sense of everything but jj simply puts a hand to your cheek, telling you to help him to the car, and that it’s all gonna be alright. when he takes his hand away, his blood remains on your skin.

you help him quickly to the truck, shoving him into the passenger side and climbing into the drivers seat. you speed off, reminding your lover to apply pressure to the wound. the sun is beginning to come up. there is nothing around for miles, let alone a hospital. you try to keep jj conscious.

“so uhm, what — what colour should we paint the master bedroom in our new place?” you try to sound cheerful, but you’re uncontrollably sniffling, wiping away the tears as they fall.

jj is slumped in the seat, drained of colour, his shirt now soaked through with blood. he scoffs, regardless of this with an exhausted smirk.

“you gonna hate me if i say green?” he drawls and you let out a frantic laugh, mid sob.

“is green really what you want? can i atleast pick the shade of green? or can we compromise on a pastel yellow?” you try, but your vision is hazy from how hard you’re crying. you’re lucky the road is just straight ahead with nothing oncoming for a long time.

“i’on care what colour you paint the walls, long as i’m with you, mama.” he smirks, voice raspy and weak. it’s the type of line that would usually make you shy away, maybe you’d even tell him to shutup as you feel your face get hot. but now, you can’t hold it together anymore. you paw at your tears, your forced laugh turning to sobs as you clutch the wheel for a moment.

you manage to pull it together for just a moment to ask “fine, how about pink?” realising the importance in keeping him conscious and talking, but it’s too late. jj’s eyes are fully closed now, but there’s a ghost of a smile on his face. though he’s fading away here, in his mind he’s somewhere else totally — hearing your melodic laugh as he swipes you with a paintbrush, staining your overall dress. the birds are chirping outside, and there’s a record playing, and it smells like the pie you put in the oven an hour ago. he pulls you in for a kiss, the story book ending you both deserved.

ritchie valens — we belong together is the song playing on the record, and continues to play after the screen goes black and the credits begin to roll.

[thenightfolknetwork]

There is a god in my attic and it speaks to me in the dead of the night, whispering secrets that taste like putrid meat on my tongue.

There is a god in my attic, it says with a half forgotten tongue about its gifts for me: the wounds on my hands, the eye on my tongue, the delicate crown of bird bones around my head. There is a god in my attic, it speaks and I dream of pregnant cows and blood pressure and copper and molding roots. I wake up craving the taste of flesh. I wake up eating my own lips.

There is a god in my attic, it demands prayer in honey and flies and corpses. It says to me close my eyes, it sings 'i will make a saint of you'

There is a god in my attic and it is growing impatient.

There is a god in my attic, dear friend, and I don't know why I am so scared of becoming holy.

Well, my dear, what can I say except, “Congratulations!” It's not every day one is selected to become the vessel of a living god, let alone for a mouldering, half-dead thing that speaks in the language of bone and fungus. What an exciting turn of events!

I appreciate this might feel like a rather abrupt departure from whatever plans you may have had for your life. A little nervousness is to be expected. But really, how else were you going to spend the next however-many decades - paying rent?!

Now, I understand there has been some rather virulent propaganda against radically non-conformist faiths being spread online in the last few years. A reminder to all our followers that @thesiltverses are not a reliable source of information about apotheosis or exultation, and their representation of non-traditional sainthood is generally considered to be ignorant at best, downright offensive at worst. I urge you not to pay such hollow-minded nonsense any heed.

As for you, dear reader, put aside your fears. There is a god in your attic, friend! A hungry, vengeful god who seeks to transform your very flesh into a tool fit snugly in its many-fingered hand! Opportunities like that don't come along every day.

I will leave you with an excerpt from one of my favourite poems – the Summer Day, by the creature community's unofficial laureate, Mary Oliver:

Doesn't everything die at last, and too soon? Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life? Maybe eat a few people or whatever. Maybe inflict great and terrible wonders upon the whimpering flesh of the earth. Get a little weird with it maybe!

[For more creaturely advice, check out Monstrous Agonies on your podcast platform of choice, or visit monstrousproductions.org for more info]

[soldat-buck]

holy shit you guys, look, there's more.

bg3 culinary headcanons: Absolute Edition

- Minthara: would accidentally fit in as the Addams Family home chef (and be angry about it). Gomez would praise her assassination attempts which flusters her (internally) because she's cooking with the normal amount of poisonous mushroom and not an attempted murder amount (and also she would hate loud, in-your-face-chaotic Gomez SO MUCH. if she wanted him dead, he would be dead, do not insult her assassinating abilities). makes the coolest Halloween party food until you realize it's not fun, spooky-mimicry decoration, those are real black widows on those cupcakes (what? they're venom and merlot flavored) (she used cricket flour, too). you don't know where she gets the "red" for her red velvet cakes, but you *do* know that ignorance is bliss and this is a pretty bitchin' birthday cake, so don't think too hard and just eat it

- Dark Urge (pre-game/embrace): slaughterhouse nightmare aesthetic - chef's apron is leather and something more appropriate for blacksmithing, there are way too many cleavers around (why in the blue fuck is there a meat hook over a drain in the floor?). some people watch tv when they cook. some listen to music, podcasts, or nothing. Durge listens to the Toy Box killer kidnapping tape (not to be mixed up with the (not safe for LIFE) Tool Box killers torture tape. that one is for relaxing baths). watches Dahmer documentaries for culinary inspiration. Hannibal Lecter would find most Durge dishes tasteless and over the top.

- Ketheric: listen, he didn't want me to tell you this [so you did NOT hear it from me], but he actually doesn't eat. he has a symbiotic relationship with the bacteria and fungus that keep his body animated and undying (they're why his blood is black). he consumes rotten things to keep his corpse puppet fungus happy and the corpse puppet fungus allows him to keep his consciousness/sentience and keep serving Myrkul. Myrkul's cool with it, as long as his bidding continues to get done

- Orin: Martha Stewart would have a nervous breakdown upon entering Orin's kitchen. the average person would consider Orin's cooking to be a hate crime. if someone doesn't vomit uncontrollably upon first sight, she considers it an insult (she grew up with a gross misunderstanding of what a Roman vomitorium is). her spaghetti and meatballs is wrapping a handful of uncooked noodles in unseasoned ground meat (she neither knows nor cares whether it's fish or chicken or cow. meat is meat), then baking it in a casserole dish sprinkled with still-condensed tomato soup from a can. Midwestern casserole cooking brought to you by Hell. doesn't use salt because she finds it too spicy. she has an entire pantry section for savory jello

- Gortash: culinary techbro. kitchen is spilling over with unitasker gadgets ("and THIS contraption evenly distributes heat for the perfect boiled egg! what do you mean 'what else does it do'. it boils eggs perfectly i already told you, why the fuck weren't you listening"), and the most stupid, overengineered 'smart' devices ("no no no, you don't understand, this is so helpful. the fork connects to the plate to measure the temperature of the food, and then the plate changes color to warn me if it's too hot, and then i don't burn my tongue, because i really hate that"). despite all of the pricey kitchen shit that he keeps buying, he's skilled at making exactly one dish: microwaved Totino's pizza rolls

(i'm sorry if Gortash is out of character; my brain replaced his voice with John Oliver's and won't put the original back)

if you want more bg3 culinary headcanons, there's also: the Companion Edition

[kamari333]

O great UTMV lore expert, would you mind explaining the differences between the korean farmtale and the meme farmtale? I find it hard to understand what aspects belong to which AU and would greatly appreciate the help

Oh! 0/////0 Well, I do like being helpful! I do not specialize in Farmtale lore, nor have I gotten around to compiling my thesis on it. I do not have any proper citations on hand, nor can I definitively say what came first.

but I can give you some basics!

Because I dont have any backdates to offer at this time, I'll tell you about "Farmtale" in the order I became aware of it.

That starts with the Japanese Translation.

During the earlier fandom, when the game was being translated, it came out that Sans used the pronoun "oira". (I do not know if this was a fan-spread rumor, a beta concept, or if it made it into the final game -- all I can be sure of is that "sans uses oira" got traction)

In Japanese, to my understanding, "Oira" is a pronoun that has a lot of rustic connotation. To my understanding, it is used (at least in popular culture) by the japanese equivalent of "country folk", being part of a sort of "country accent". (There is a specific demographic/region it is popularly associated with, but I cannot be confident in naming it at this time: i dont want to give you wrong information)

So when it came out that "sans uses oira", a LOT of memes and fanwork came out of Sans in a straw hat, in various kinds of farming clothes.

This started in the eastern side of the fandom and then found its way to the western side of the fandom, where the aesthetic shifted towards the more american-localized "southern rustic".

To start, this kind of AU was aesthetic in nature, and didnt have a concrete singular creator or agreed upon lore. That being said, it was very common at least at one time for the story to be "Post Pacifist", where the skelebros just became farmers after coming to the surface.

That is the "memetic" "Farmtale" and "Oira Sans". It is an aesthetic AU based around the loose idea of the skelebros settling into a rustic lifestyle, with no real solid design other than Sans wearing a straw hat.

This is very different from GuinongTale.

GuinongTale (known as "farmtale" in the english speaking fandom) is a Korean-made AU. It is a surface-AU (meaning the monsters were never underground to begin with). The story takes place in a rural korean farming town, where the main undertale cast reside (including, but not necessarily limited to, Sans, Papyrus, and Undyne).

The characters all have distinct redesigns, as well as Korean-Localized Names.

Sans is called Saejun. On top of the seemingly universal straw hat iconography, he wears flower-print pants and rubber-palmed farming gloves. His gaster blaster is just a cow's head. Instead of bones, he summons little farming tools (a specific kind used often on korean farms, which has a specific name i cannot recall). He also has one-strap sandals instead of slippers.

Papyrus is called Pilsu. He wears a floral-print neck-scarf and overalls with one patch on the left leg. He has been depicted carrying a rake.

Undyne (her korean name is unknown to me, but i know she has one because they all do) has been depicted with a sweater hanging off her shoulders and dog tags around her neck.

The themes of GuinongTale, to my knowledge, center around Nature vs Modernization. I have been told that the "pacifist" route is where the farming community is preserved through Frisk's actions, and the "genocide" route is where the community is driven off their land by the encroaching urbanism/gentrification. However, I have to clarify that I dont at this time understand Korean, so this is secondary information rather than direct knowledge I have gleaned from the source material.

TL;DR:

In the english-speaking fandom, content tagged as Farmtale is usually a rustic-aesthetic post-pacifist AU which is believed to have been inspired by memes from the japanese Oira Sans era. Western creators will often bring their own flair or spin to the worldbuilding, making it a highly variable AU.

However, the Korean Farmtale GuinongTale (which in the english side of fandom is ALSO tagged "Farmtale") also exists separate from that, with a distinct aesthetic and lore all its own, which has its own unique charm deserving of distinction.

Like I said before, Farmtale isnt quite my area of expertise. I unfortunately dont have much concrete data or backdates. I do hope this little bit of info is helpful! (and if i got anything wrong, i am always excited to learn new fun facts)

[starlightiing]

💜with galex? 😙

💜 surprise kiss / impulsive kiss - GALEX

Stardew Valley AU for the win? Yes. YES. Galex Stardew Valley AU.

"I finished repairing the fences for the cows, by the way. The wood on the left side was nearly rotted through, and I swear if you had let Oodles of Moodles or Cowabunga escape--"

George scoffs and rolls his eyes, effectively cutting Alex off with a curt, "One plank was rotted through, Alex. One plank."

"And that's one plank too many, if you ask me. I saw the way Oodles of Moodles was eyeballing her escape." Alex says with a grin, one that betrays the nature of his words. "It's high time I teach you how to fix your own fences, I reckon."

"I reckon," George agrees, "Especially if it will put an end to your dramatics. Shakespeare would have loved you."

"I'll take that as a compliment, thank you very much. Now hand me that hammer." Alex points to the discarded tool at George's feet, before sliding a dirty arm across his forehead to wipe away the sweat that had built up there.

George bends down and grabs the hammer, though his gaze is completely deadlocked on Alex. It's a rather warm day and the thin white t-shirt that hugs Alex's chest is nearly soaked through with sweat. George would normally find reason to curl his nose up at this - but he can make out every curve and dip of Alex's chest through the now translucent material, and quite frankly he thinks he has had enough.

Enough of Alex coming to his rescue every time he calls. Enough of those bright, Earth-shattering smiles he flashes George's way every time he makes a ridiculous joke. Enough of his strong hands and his warm eyes, and that utterly infuriating sound he makes before he laughs. He's had enough of the teasing, enough of the ambiguous flirting, and the way Alex really sees him for who he is beyond the front of the rich, spoiled city boy that everyone else is so eager to accept at face value.

George is not an impulsive person. His words and actions are so carefully crafted in his mind, down to the finest detail. He thinks and he plans - that is his specialty. Funny, how one glance over at a man so beautiful it makes his knees weak could destroy everything he's ever known about himself and worked so hard to achieve.

He rushes forward, mind and heart tangled deeply in turmoil, and presses a kiss to Alex's lips. It's a soft thing, no more than a mere meeting of warm skin against warm skin, but it alights something in George that makes his heart beat faster and his hands tremble. The hammer slips from his grasp and hits the ground with a dull 'thunk', and neither of them pay it any mind.

"Well, well, city boy," Alex breathes, and George considers it a triumph that Alex's usual confidence is missing from his tone, "I didn't realize you felt this strongly about fence repair."

"Oh, come off it." George shoots back in response, but he's smiling so goddamn bright he can physically feel the shine radiating off of himself. "Tell me you wanted it, too. That's all I want to hear."

Something strange flashes across Alex's face at George's words. It's akin to surprise, perhaps, like George has said something so completely unexpected. Another triumph, he thinks, as he pulls down more and more of Alex's walls.

"It wasn't already obvious, George? Of course I wanted it. In fact, get back over here. I'm not through with you just yet."

[stemmmm]

mistria thots now that im a little ways into summer

first of all, took fucking forever, but thats because i go to bed at the absolute last second nearly every single day. and on that note, i feel like every single day is a frantic rush to run around and do the dozens of different daily things there are that there's never enough time for. I dont mind not having enough time in the day to do everything. that's very reasonable. but there's a ton to do, and the map is very large and i have to run very quickly to cover it all, and if i want to fish at all or go into the mines, that's my whole day. and up till now there's always been 5 quests of varying importance going on at once. and it's all quite exhausting. i'm still playing, but frankly the pace of everything has made me quite tired of it. i have to slow down and i have slowed down, but it doesn't feel great because there's a dozen season exclusive collectables that i've missed out on and other main quests that i could be doing things to progress and- and- and-! i'm sure you get my point. it's not relaxing, at least not for me. yes, this game is meant to be played for multiple in-game years, but that doesn't quell the FOMO, especially since i have no idea how much more content this early access version still has. who knows if i see the other seasons before i run out of plot.

before the end of spring I already had 2 cows and 2 chickens and basically enough money that i won't need to farm again for a while before i imagine it'll run out, because you get a lot of cash and very little to spend it on that matters. there's a shitload of recipes and cosmetics but i'm here for gameplay, baby. i'm not touching that. the only thing worth spending money on in that sense is pre-smithed tools, but I can make them myself extremely easily. i also have no need to cook because foodstuff is given as rewards for tons of things and there's multiple spots in the world that return energy for free, and now i have 2 slots for a spell that restores my health, with a bunch of potions that restore the slots i found before i even had magic, and i still have free bath-house trips to restore health too, so even though i run out of stamina just about every day, i hardly ever feel it. the time remains the most challenging thing to deal with.

on a more positive note, the animals are really cute. kind of weird you don't have to milk the cows, but i do understand the decision because that process gets tedious and makes me not engage with cows either. im looking forward to when i get their hearts high enough that i can do the breeding mechanics, because that's pretty new to games like this afaik.

i also.... really hope the festivals that come in other seasons have more going on because the spring one was really, really bad. it's just nothing.

on characters, i still dont have super strong feelings for any of them because they are by and large, flat tropes that i don't really like. i haven't done much with them, so most are only just starting to get to single heart relationship level from just semi-regularly talking to them. paying attention to their schedules to get to know them hasnt really been a thing between the map telling me where they are and everyone usually always being inside the inn whenever i need to find them. haven't seen any events yet afaik, unless those are tied to the request board.

and speaking of the request board and events tied to it! it is nice and convenient that the special requests are the means by which you trigger events. like usually you have to walk up to whoevers quest it was to trigger the event, so events are opt-in, can be at any time, and triggered anywhere you find the person. it does lose any element of surprise though. i like wandering into an area and something triggers out of seemingly nowhere, but i understand that system has... a lot of inconvenient flaws that i myself have been burned by before. tough problem to solve. this method is fine enough.

so uhh!! that's all i can think of for now! fine game, not really set up in a way that works well for people like me who have to do every single thing immediately. fortunately, no one else has to play like this because they are my own neuroses and nothing built into the game itself. i recommend everyone else play this slowly if they play it at all, and itd probably be more fun.

[fluffypotatey]

I MISSED THE LIVESTREAM PLEASE TELL ME EVERYTHING will it ever get posted in full!?!?!?!

i sense the answer will be “no repost of the live stream” since he hasn’t reposted the others

HOWEVER!!!!! THE MUSIC IS UP NOW :DDDD

BOTH THE THUNDER SAGA AND THE RE-EDITIONS OF TROY & CYCLIPS SAGA

bur omfg bro the livestream

JORGE FUCKUNG SMILED WHEN POLITES DIED I WILL NEVER FOGIVE

THE ANIMATIC FOR SURVIVE THO!!!!! THAT ANIMATIC WAS SO GOOD AND BRUTAL

THE RENEWED EDITIONS OF TROY AND CYCLOPS SAGAS ADE SO GOOD (imo Cyclops saga sounds sO much better)

HE FUCKING CHANGED FHE TEMPO OF SURVIVE TO MAKE IT SOUND MORE TRAGIC

EUYLOCHUS DID OPEN THE BAD OF WINDS AND I FUCKING CALLED IT

The opening of Act 2 was so fuckung cool, but it makes you believe Ody is dreaming and then you think “wait, what if this is a flashback” and then WAIT NO ITS SIRENS!!!!

Ody was so sexy in Different Beast. idk something about him giving into his ruthlessness™️ and letting go of inhibitions (FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN), being unapologetic about it is just….🥵 i mean…no yeah i did mean that

Scylla 😍 idk who voices her but it’s so fucking gorgeous. and the animatic with her killing Ody’s six sacrificial men was just 😍 idk i might have a problem

MUTINYYYYYYYY

HEART WAS TORN INTO SHREDS

never have i ever felt like I was screaming at ghosts more than when Eurylochus, starved and parched and on the ropes of desperation, slit the throat of the blessed cows of Helios

and then Zeus coming in to nail the coffin by giving Ody a “choice” on who to punish. something something the Greek gods’ exception to the rules are when they deem it fun to play with mortals. something something Ody refusing to be Athena’s tool merely made him a tool for any god to play with since his champion status was revoked (what, who said that?)

ANS THEN HE ENDED IT WITH THE TRAILER

tTHE THUNDER SAGA TRAILER WAS THE ENDING ALL ALONG

ANS FHEN JOGE GOES “and there ya go!” WITH A CHEERY SMILE AS IF HE DIDN’T JUST STRIKE PSYCHIC DAMAGE ON ALL OF US

he’s lucky he’s a cutie pie :T

also the ending melody of Thunder Bringer reminds me of understale. this just a random thought but one that popped into my head while listening

[entangledv2-blog]

I recently watched a video that said that Postal 2 is just intrusive thoughts: the video game, because it is technically possible to beat it without ever killing anyone or even breaking the law, so any actual killing is just you letting the intrusive thoughts win. However, Disco Elysium is a game all about intrusive thoughts. So now, I want Postal Elysium. Someone help me brainstorm what the Dude's voices are. Here's my ideas to start:

Intellect:

Cynicism

Quips

Threats

Animal handling - your ability to predict, outwit, and befriend animals, like dogs or police officers.

Irreverence

Paranoia

Psyche:

Patience - your ability to endure boredom and interface with society.

Psychosis - your attunement with the unreal. Was that a leprechaun? Did your old boss actually become a giant cow demon man? Who cares!

Outer Demons: your killing instinct and/or multiple personalities.

Lizard Kingdom - your steadfast belief that you can do anything.

Package delivery - 

Physique:

Mighty foot - brute force solutions. At high levels, you'll kick down doors and rush headlong into situations that you have no business being in. At low levels, however, you'll have difficulty merely standing with the no less than twelve different weapons you have stashed in your trench coat at all times, let alone actually using them.

Second Triagon - your bizarre metabolism. Effectiveness of healing items and drugs. 

Motorics:

Sticky fingers - your ability to…acquire useful tools and weapons. The higher the skill, the more likely you are to want to steal things rather than pay for them.

Second amendment - your ability to effectively weaponize everything. 

Flower growing - your ability to utilize crass solutions. Peeing out fires, kicking people in the nuts, flipping people off.

I really want to use the name Lizard Kingdom, and I really want there to be a skill for peeing. I also feel like most of the Dude's skills are telling him to kill, but for different reasons, and I want to take what we learn about his psyche in Brain Damaged into account.

I really hope that there's someone—anyone—out there who is actually a fan of both Postal 2 and Disco Elysium.

[zenkor123]

"What the fuck are you talking about?" Squad 451 after listening to Peeta mumble to himself pt ?

"What was that you said about Annie?" Finnick says.

Peeta replies "don't you know? Snow tried to hijack her and failed. After I was sent back to my cell she came after to the doctors room, she screamed your name but she didn't die her skin was Tracker Jacker blue though. I sometimes think that the failure was due to her moral fortitude and her love but I think it might be a different reason. Hijacking Is expensive and unreliable the only tyrant that would perform hijacking is snow. That's becuase snow loves to make things personal, he loves to see families or lovers turn on eachother and I watched him personally torture 2 avoxes. He loves to use reunions as assassination attempts like he ttried with the mayor of 6. it took weeks to mutate me and only after the mind scattering pill did I fully mutate. One needs to make them immune to jacker poison first then fill them with Venom. Even with all the venom I think hijacking depends on the individual being hijacked. But if the Hijacking fails it just makes her a defective mutt in the eyes of the capital. No one can have this much Venom put into them and not have their bodies transformed. I have hallucinations that feel as real as holograms, and when they attack me the spots they attack turn red, I even got hives after 5 Katniss mutt hallucinations began eating me. I can't feel new pain as my pain receptors were broken, the type of rages I have made famous while wrestling is not seen in humans, It takes huge efforts to concentrate my memories. Annie is still mutated she is still a mutt. I don't know if her body turns jacker juice into anti venom though.

" I know what your talking about, Annie told me. She is not a mutt! She also told me you tried to tell her what’s real and wasn’t to the best of your ability also and took a beating for it”

"How do you define a mutt? A mutt is just a creature(or human) who's very body is changed to fulfill someone else's purpose, a cow that fails to give milk, a dog that is stray and wild is still a mutt even if they fail In the purpose of design" " I wasn't so upset before about Katniss calling me a Mutt if I seemed it was bc of the guard."

"She's more then what she was designed for"

"Yeah absolutely speaking for myself I crushed hives of jackers and gave training to soldiers to prepare them for combat with hostile mutts. If the stigma of the word mutt bothers you I guess you could say she is not a mutt. I didn't mean to insult her. I'm glad that the rescue came in time for her to avoid the mind breaking pill. Why they don't start with this pill probably has to do with its side effects I could easily imagine it zombifying their mutts rendering them useless. "

"She's not a mutt!”

" I get it mutts are scary they are used by the capital to cuase painful death besides you not wanting your wife to be associated with the capital muttations why isn't she a mutt?

"Are the capital citizens mutts? They have their bodies modified, genetically modify their children's appearances, Annie still in body is human no matter the body changes of the hijacking, her identity is that of Annie Cresta, not my assassin. She wasn’t born in the capital. Even if her body was modified like you said, and it was, she has the hallucinations and false memories, most of both your body functions are identical to any other human. Neither of you are going to be as modified as a mutation born in a lab or farm”

"No they had their body modified willingly and a mutt Is always a tool of some kind though some capitolites have their avoxes genetically modified for specific tasks. So many avoxes are mutts I saw an Avox capable of seeing in the dark when I was in the capital. He told me his name was pontus he had fingers that could roll like a lizards tongue and were a foot long. They fed him to lion mutts at the end of my first week of the capital. How does a normal human generate antibodies that can fight something as lethal as Jacker venom? Did you know that the capital makes incendiary weapons out of Jacker Venom, they showed us their arsenal. the venom also can rust clothing making them look like spoilt food. That’s why I was given new clothing in the hospital where I attacked Katniss”

"How could a baby consent to being modified? Isn't a baby designed to be appreciated as an artwork for their families a tool?"

"Is the baby a tool? I mean I can see your point in the capital they compete over who has the best physical mutations. Though it is just cosmetic. They aren't servants. It also isn't permanent once they grow up they can genetically modify themselves. Hijacked humans must look like their namesake in order to kill their targets when they are off guard. If hijacked humans looked too different Snow wouldn’t get to cackle at his work. I don’t know anything about how Annie is faring with the hijacking but in my experience, Peeta Mellark sometimes feels like a different person, like I am watching someone’s else’s life in my mind. It was like this before I was even aware of it when I still thought I was him. Was Annie Cresta born in the capital like me? In a lab?

Katniss interjects “You don’t have any other memories other then Peeta’s even the made up memories are based on your memories, you even wrote that the capital got to the ‘ruins’ before you did’

“I choked you just like my creators designed me for, the capital didn’t care about who the mutt was just what it could do, any resemblance to Peeta Mellark is based on plundering his corpse , watching his memories is like watching a scrambled movie, where you sometimes feel the same things as the main characters, but the movie is broken, fragmentary and when you try to unscramble it you get attacked by demons. I confess that when people call me Peeta I sometimes feel like a fraud, it took me a while to be comfortable around Haymitch or Prim, until it was certain they really were interested in me but I try to make my own impact to prove that I am more then Peeta Mellark.” “By baking, creating propo posters, painting Morphling bottles? Like Peeta?” By wrestling, like Peeta? If the memories are in your brain they belong to you. If proving you are more then Peeta is what you have tried to do, you have failed” Katniss says.

When I was mutated, the capital after murdering Peeta didn’t put much to replace him, just the bare minimum needed to kill Katniss and die following the deed, so of course even after hope left.. that Peeta could return, I still looked in the rubble . So much fuzzy memories, so much nonsense, sometimes I had to guess which memories were correct based on what made sense. I don’t even know my eldest brothers name! All the none sense about prostitute Katniss and lover gale only reminds me that even the greatest efforts cannot bring the real memories of Peeta Mellark back to me, only fragments.… ” Peeta

“Then ask, that’s what Annie does”

Peeta says "I've asked Delly and spoke for hours about district 12, she stopped talking to me for no stated reason. I appreciate it but don't get your hopes up. I once spent an entire week chasing a single memory of the quarter quell, Jabberjay Hour , destroyed 40 branches in the process of retrieving. One time the hallucinations made my tongue burn as I kept pushing. Many things that cause pain, don’t do much and I sometimes enjoy it, it hurt even by my standards. I despise Delly but , though she didn’t exactly say this she was correct in that she was friends with a Peeta who the capital murdered.”

“Were your squad” Jackson says

[norinenglish]

Team Rancher - Guide of Canon - Tango Episode 2

Notes on the episode below the cut

Guide of Canon: Team Rancher

Tango's Episode 1 - Tango's Episode 2 - Tango's Episode 3 - Tango's Episode 4 - Tango's Episode 5.

Tango’s Episode 2: TREACHERY AT THE RANCH!

The episode opens with Tango inside their base. As he opens the door Jimmy claims, “We’re back at the ranch!” while goat horns are heard in the background. 

“Welcome home, honey! How are we, team rancher?”

“It’s good to be back.” 

“Yes, and already the horns with the mocking continues as always.”

“It’s happening today, I’m getting one today!”

“This is the quest, yeah. Horns will be acquired.”

*

Tango shows Jimmy the secret chest full of goodies (mostly food, leather, wood, wheat and seeds) below the regular ones. Jimmy is excited about it. He repeats “Stop it!” while laughing with happy disbelief as Tango nods proudly. “We ain’t just a ranch.”

“We ain’t hungry anymore!”

“Oh my gosh! You’re a genius!”

“Yeah, I did a little work with the cow, the moo-moos and the chick-chicks downstairs, so we’re good.”

*

They still don’t have enough iron to be fully clothed, so they decide to make leather armours and they laugh at how poor they look. They consider upgrading the ranch, with the wall and an archway entrance, a lookout tower. 

“Tango, you told me you weren’t a builder…”

“I’m not! I’m not!”

“Let me tell you, everyone in my comment section was like, ‘what, you know who you’re playing with?’ and I was like, ‘let me just look at his latest- ah! there it is.”

“Oh, nooooo.”

“So uh… Yes, you will make a watchtower on top of that box, thank you very much.” Tango is protesting a bit, so he adds, “You will!”

“Fine!”

*

They decides to breed goats to get the horns. Ren stumbles upon the ranch. He wanted to steal a few cows (he brought a boat with him for it) 

“Welcome to Team Rancher!” Tango tells him as he puts a sign saying just that on top of the newly made archway. 

Ren asks for a tour. Jimmy gets him inside and creeps him out (in good humour) by saying, “Well, this is the ranch. This is where you step through these doors and… you don’t go home. You’re at the ranch now.” They all have a good laugh.

They offer an exchange to Ren, two goats for two cows. 

*

While with one goat, Tango sees Jimmy with several from far away, and Scott coming to talk to Jimmy. “Oh, no, he’s getting hassled over there!”

*

Jimmy wants Scar’s horse for the ranch. Scar refuses and leaves. 

*

They make the pen for the goat. Martyn comes and gloats about the fact that he has a horn and they don’t. They struggle a long time to get one. Pearl helps them get some. It’s sing. Jimmy gets the first one, sounds it and immediately says: “We need one more for Tango.” They sound it together and scream with excitement. They praise and thank Pearl. 

They sound the horns and people answer in the distance.

“I like how ours is different as well.”

*

They cover the goat pen with dirt. 

“This is what the ranch is all about: we’re saving animals. Our next thing will be stealing horses- I mean- uh… Capturing horses.”

*

Tango visits Bdubs building his house. 

“Have you been with Jimmy at all today?”

“Oh, the whole time!” Tango shows him “the fruit of their labour” and sounds the horn. “We’re setting up Team Rancher, you should stop by.”

*

Tango mines a little and gets a few iron ingots. “I need more. I need stuff for tools and I need stuff for Jimmy.”

*

At the Panda Reserve, Scar tries to get Tango to trade him his horn, then to try to get Jimmy to not have his horn anymore “We just take it away for like a few minutes from him”. 

Tango doesn’t understand the second part and gives his own horn to Scar. 

“No, we gotta get his!”

“Oh! Oh, I can’t get his,” he says immediately.

He doesn’t want to get Jimmy and run away. “It’s not very team-like.” He still seems to agree to do it, though.

*

Tango chats with Scott about cows, then about Pearl and being paired.

“She’s fully unhinged, like- off the rails”

“I love it, I love it.”

“You wouldn’t say that if you were the one getting- uh…”

“Probably not. But I’m the one who killed my partner, so.. So I got one coming.”

“That’s fair. You seem reasonable. It’s just a shame you got paired up with Jimmy.”

“Yeah, well, we do what we can, you know.” Tango doesn’t seem aggravated by the idea of being paired with Jimmy. 

He sounds the horn and Scott apologizes for not being able to answer it (they agreed on the server to ignore Jimmy’s horn on purpose). Tango doesn’t mind. “I understand, that’s Team Rancher,” he says simply. 

“This is why- I mean, I feel bad for you and your ranch partner.”

“I just got flocked* down by you inner vendettas, yeah.”

“Yeah, it’s the curse of Jimmy. That’s the real curse this time. Last season was the boogeyman curse, whoever got Jimmy this time was the Jimmy curse.”

“Yeah, yeah. This is great,” Tango says before promptly changing the subject.

*

Tango gets an iron ingot from Cleo with his bad advice stand before upgrading his “box of birch sadness”. Etho comes by the ranch and they chat about the Deep Dark. Tango laments about Jimmy being down there. Etho says he got peer pressured into it. 

They trade chicken for iron. Tango bargains for more. 

“I gotta provide for my teammate who’s in leather.”

While the talk, the sing horn sounds in the distance. Tango responds and says, “There’s my buddy. He’s coming home.”

*

“Jimmy! Jimmy, we need to have a discussion here!”

“Tango-”

“You’re risking your yellow life.”

“I can explain.”

“Uh, hu.”

“I can explain alright.”

Tango takes a deep mafia voice and makes a movie reference? “You got some ‘splaining to do, Bessie.”

“Peer pressure. That’s the explanation.”

*

“It’s looking lovely over here.”

“Oh you notice my super beautiful tower?” Tango is still being self-deprecating but Jimmy is genuinely happy with the build. 

“It’s fine!”

“I’m enhancing the organic shape and, you know-”

“It’s amazing.”

“-monotone block palette, yes, yes.”

The tower is crooked and looks like a foot. Tango is proud of it. 

*

Later at Grian and Scar’s bases, Tango says he’s trying to get the horn from Jimmy for Scar. 

*

They decide to add an R to the foot tower. 

*

Cleo comes distracting them. They go to Scar’s panda enclosure “a good couple’s retreat.” Jimmy steals Scar’s horse. Tango hadn’t planned for it (he claims so at least), he leaves when Scar and Grian gets angry. 

“Where are you my friend, you expert rancher! I’ve never been more proud of anyone in my life.”

“Victory horns, there it is!”

The horse is in the goat pen that is otherwise empty. They realize the goats are gone. They think Cleo run a distraction for Martyn. They are mad. 

“Hey Martyn! You suck!”

*

They fume and talk about the event. Jimmy asks about Tango and Scar whispering together (about the horn). Tango brushes it away as him being a distraction for the horse stealing. Jimmy doesn’t seem convinced but doesn’t insist. “If you say so, okay, okay.”

*

They go have a word with Cleo. Scotts advocates for Cleo (but he’s the one who killed the goats.) Tango is crossed. While they talk they see the base being on fire and run back to the ranch.

Tango is already fuming before they get there: “Ohhhhh, he’s gonna die!” 

“The ranch is on fire!”

“I hope he doesn’t like his building!”

“We kill him.”

They panic and try to put the fire out but it’s too late. Tango shoots him with a bow as Scar flees. They take burning damage and scream and laugh and run everywhere. 

The rage is starting to build up. The boat boy comes to help. Martyn, Scott and Cleo are also here.

Tango chats, “IT’S BBQ PANDA TIME. SO TASTY.”

Tango is grunting and yelling about having flashbacks from Last Life.

Jimmy comes in his face and tells him to snap out of it. “Look, the R survived.”

The neighbourhood watch is trying to egg Tango on to burn the pandas. Tango wants to do something bigger. Jimmy is trying to calm him down. “Tango, Let’s think about this! Don’t go straight over, we gotta talk it through.” Jimmy tells him to listen to the horn. Despite everyone else saying otherwise, Tango immediately uses sing. 

“This is horrible! There’s holes! It’s Swiss cheese ranch!”

[keep-the-wolves-close]

Steady Heart

Chapter 25: Or Was It 26

* Pairing: Slow-burn Kayce Dutton x OFC Stella Daniels

* Rating: M

* Warnings: language, dead livestock, slight angst feelings

* Word count: 3,537ish

I would love to give credits to @dameronscopilot and @deanscroissant for being sounding boards for me during this whole process, giving outsider insight, being cheerleaders, and allowing me to screech at them about things that have happened during the writing process. I seriously couldn't have gotten this far without y'all

Author's note: I just got 6 chapters done, so I’m posting this lol. I hope everyone is enjoying so far! I hope you love this chapter as well!

Kayce walked into the bunkhouse. The wranglers and Stella milled about making plans for the week’s schedule around whatever he might have them do. He watched as Stella talked something over with Lloyd. She spotted him and abruptly stopped talking. The whole house fell silent.

Kayce cleared his throat. “We got more fences to fix. Jimmy, Stella, you come with me and Rip.” Kayce ordered as he walked out of the bunkhouse.

Stella leaned on the kitchen table closed her eyes and whispered, “why me.”

Lloyd patted her arm. “It’ll be okay, lil’ bit.”

Ryan stared at her from across the room. They hadn’t been talking ever since his discovery of the two fooling around. He struggled to believe she had done what she did, and didn’t know how to go about parenting this type of situation. He watched as she dropped her head and closed her eyes.

Slowly she lifted her head, accepting her fate. “Let’s go Jimmy.”

Stella walked the fence line behind Rip and Jimmy. Kayce was in the front. She wanted to keep herself as far away from him as possible. She hated the fact that he was technically her boss so she had to listen if she wanted to keep her income. Jimmy slowed Ray down to be next to her.

“You okay? You've been quiet.” He asked gently.

Stella knew he didn’t mean any harm, but she still got annoyed when he asked. “Yeah, I’m fine.”

He frowned at her. “You know I don’t believe that, right?”

Kayce got a glimpse of them talking quietly amongst themselves and decided to break it up. “Hey, Jimmy,” Kayce called out. “Why don’t you ride ahead and look for the next break?”

Jimmy trotted ahead and kept walking the fence. Stella moved up behind him, aiming to be furthest in the front.

“I told him to go ahead, not you.” Kayce called out to her.

She spun Abigail to face him, fire blazed in her eyes. Kayce’s eyes widened at the hostility and he stopped his mustang. “Yeah, and I’m going ahead of him. What about it?” Rip watched closely for any sign he needed to jump in. “I know how to fix a fuckin’ fence,” she snarled. Turning Abigail around again, she legged her onward.

Kayce watched her trot off and shook his head. He dismounted and grabbed the tools to fix the break in the fence. Kayce pointed to Jimmy and said to Rip, “tell me about that kid.”

“Ah, he’s green as the grass. But he tries hard. He’s a good kid. Stella’s right about him.”

“If he was a good kid he wouldn’t be wearing the brand.” Kayce surmised.

“Yeah well, he’s a favor.”

“What about Walker? He a favor too? I just wanna know what I’m workin’ with.” Kayce worked on the fence, repairing the break in the metal.

“They don’t work with you, Kayce. They work for you. These are questions you should be askin’ your father.” Rip advised.

“I’m askin’ you.”

“Yeah well it ain’t my place to say.”

“I guess that says it all.” Kayce huffed.

Jimmy stopped to look at a steer that was nearby. Something about it looked off. He couldn’t put his finger on it. It looked miserable. It mooed at him.

Rip noticed Jimmy had taken on a side quest. “Hey Jimmy! He said ride the fence line.”

“Hey this cow looks kinda funny.” Jimmy explained.

Kayce, Rip and Stella all looked over at the steer. Stella tilted her head and pushed Abigail closer to see it at a different angle. The steer mooed in discomfort. Coming around the other side of it, Stella could see its belly starting to protrude out.

“Rip its bloat!” She called out.

“Shit. Bloat. Here.” Rip tossed Kayce his rein back. Kayce climbed up on Tank. The cow started to trot up the large hill, leading them. Rip and Kayce tag teamed the steer, getting him down on the ground.

“Kayce run him down so I can stab his rumen. Get the gas outta him.”

Rip and Jimmy hopped off their horses. Rip walked up and pinned the steer’s leg down.

“Jimmy, gimme the wonder dust outta the saddle bag.”

“The what kind of dust?” Jimmy had no clue what was going on. He led never had to deal with this side of tending cattle.

“The wound dust. Grab it outta the fuckin’ bag.” Rip opened his knife and stabbed the steer, releasing the gas. He clipped his knife shut and blew some of the powder out onto the wound.

“Wait what’s bloat?” Jimmy asked.

“He ate somethin’ he shouldn’t.” Kayce explained.

Rip handed the bottle to Jimmy and spoke to Kayce. “I don’t know what the fuck he’d bloat on. The grass is dried and it didn’t freeze last night.”

Kayce dismounted and walked up to the steer to untangle it from the ropes.

Jimmy continued with his questions. “They can’t eat when it freezes?”

“Jimmy, quit askin’ fuckin’ questions. Go put it back.” Rip wiped his mouth. “Doesn’t make any sense, Kayce. There’s no alfalfa in this field.”

Stella tried to think of a solution. It was in between her and Ryan’s birthdays, so it was weird that it happened at this time of year. “I’ve never seen one bloat in the fall.”

Rip skimmed a glance at her. “That’s cause they don’t.”

Kayce spotted another cow down. Rip and Jimmy followed behind him. Stella walked Abigail to the top of the hill with them. They came to the top of the hill and found the whole field of cattle down.

“Oh my god.” Kayce and Stella said at the same time, breathless. Neither of them had seen a whole field down.

Putting everything aside, Stella looked down at Kayce from her saddle. “You call your dad and I’ll get my brother and the rest of the guys up here.”

Stella made it back to the bunkhouse in record time. Abigail slid to a halt and Stella’s feet hit the ground before the mare fully stopped. She threw one of the reins over the hitching post and ran inside. “Ryan!” When he didn’t answer right away she screamed his name again. “Ryan!” She knew he was pissed at her, but they needed him.

“Woah Stella calm down.” Lloyd told her.

“What Stella?” He came out from around the corner looking irritated at her presence. Once he took in her wide eyed appearance. “What’s wrong? Is everything okay?”

“No,” she leaned on the kitchen counter as she tried to catch her breath. “Whole field of cattle down with which I’m assuming is bloat for all of them. We need you, now.”

“C’mon guys, let’s go.” Ryan said to Jake, Ethan, and Colby. They packed up and rushed to the barn to get their horses ready.

Once they were ready they met up with Stella outside. She waved them on. “Follow me.”

Galloping through the lower pastures and up over the hill, everyone stopped and gawked at the scene before them. A whole portion of the herd laid dead in the field.

Lloyd hopped down and started to explore. He wanted to find what had caused this to happen. Ryan joined him. Stella stayed up near Rip.

“Did Kayce get a hold of his dad?”

“Yeah, should be here any minute.”

Just as Rip finished his sentence John and Jamie showed up. John walked past Rip and Stella, muttering to himself. He surveyed the horrible scene in front of him with his hands in his hips. Every cow he looked at, the angrier he became.

“Mr. Dutton! Here’s your culprit.” Lloyd walked over with alfalfa in his hand.

John sniffed it and threw it to the ground. “This is a crime scene.” John spun around to start barking orders. “Jamie! Get livestock agents out here.” He turned to the wranglers in the pasture. “Everyone walk away! Ryan, you’re not a reserve agent anymore. You’re on regular duty. You find a way to cover this area. I don’t want a fuckin’ bird landing in it.”

“Yessir,” Ryan quickly got to work figuring out how to contain everything.

“You.” John pointed at his son. “Walk with me.” They trekked back up the hill. “Now’s not the time to talk about all the fights I’m in. Right now, this is the only fight that matters.”

“You have any idea who did this?” Kayce questioned.

John grumbled. “I know exactly who did it.” He scoffed thinking about Jenkins. “Now we gotta go prove it…,” John trailed off, already forming a plan to stop the man trying to ruin his legacy for good.

The sheriff kneeled down by one of the cows, inspecting it closely. Kayce, his father and brother stood at the base of the hill. Stella sat on the hill closer to Kayce, but far enough away she wasn’t up his ass. She stared at his back and could tell he was worried. The familiar feeling of wanting to immediately go and help him bubbled just under the surface. Her legs twitched, instinctively wanting to move closer to him. ‘You’ve done more than enough.’

Ryan stepped closer to her. Stella gave him a side eye, unsure of what his intentions were. He had been royally pissed at her, with every right, but Stella was worried he wouldn’t speak to her ever again. “Yes?”

He sat down next to her with a groan. He talked softly so only they could hear. “Did you truly walk away?”

“Yes.” Stella shuffled around and Abigail leaned down to nuzzle her shoulder. Stella wrapped her arm around the mare’s large nose. “Do we have to talk about this right now? Can it be later and just the two of us?” She fully looked at him. “Please?”

“Okay, fine. I’m still pissed at you though.”

She let out a breath, and looked down unsurprised. “I know. I’m just trying to do my job and go home. I promise.”

Donnie threw a clump of alfalfa back on the ground dismissively. “So you think this was intentional?” He stood up straight. “I don’t see tire tracks anywhere. The fence is way over there,” he pointed. “Nobody threw it over. It didn’t fall outta the fuckin’ sky.”

“That’s exactly what it did.” John determined.

“So you think someone flew a plane over here, and dropped clover on your cattle in the middle of the night, John? Think about that.” Donnie talked to John like he was an idiot.

Jamie stepped forward. “We have. A King Air was designed for skydiving so it has a side door large enough and it could hold the weight.”

Donnie questioned their logic. “Why would anyone do that? Who would do that?”

“Your golfing buddy, that’s who.” John’s gruff voice thundered.

Donnie scoffed. “Alright, John. You think that. Now why the fuck am I here? I have no jurisdiction. Cattle is your department. What can I do for you?”

“I have six full time agents and four reserves. I don’t have the manpower for this investigation. I need your deputies.” John requested.

“Ah, John. I can’t spare any deputies. County has more firefighters sleeping at night than I have on patrol.”

“You keep making my point. You wanna help? Give me deputies or deputize my men. And not in six weeks, right now. Right here in this field.” John pointed aggressively at the ground.

“Which men?”

John pointed at Kayce. “Him for starters.” Kayce came down the hill to be closer.

“John, he just put that drifter on a soup diet and you want me to license him to carry a weapon?”

Stella leaned toward her brother and whispered, “the sheriff was like this with Rip and I about that bear too. I really wanna punch him square in the jaw. Is that too much to ask?”

“Just a bit.” Stella made a hmph sound at her brother’s rejection.

“You mean the one who held a knife to his throat? That drifter?” He grabbed Donnie’s arm and walked him a few steps away. “You gonna tell me that beating was worse than some of your officers have doled out? Hmm? How many times have I stood on a podium with you, Donnie? Stood for you? You think you’d be sheriff if it wasn’t for me? Maybe you haven’t noticed, but there’s a war goin’ on in this valley. Todays the day you choose sides.”

“I’ll issue the permit, but he’s gotta understand—,” John interrupted Donnie, nearly undermining him.

“Wait what’s happening?” Stella asked Ryan.

“I think Kayce’s getting deputized?” He was shocked just as much as she was.

“He’s trained to use it.” John defended.

“Well that’s just great, John. Now you train him not to use it.” Donnie fixed his gaze on Kayce. “If it comes outta your holster son, you’d better have an ironclad reason, understood?”

“Yeah,” came Kayce’s weak reply.

“If he calls dispatch for support, I expect you to give it to him.” John ordered. “Do you hear me Donnie?!”

“I heard you John! The whole goddamn valley heard you.”

“C’mere.” John spun away from Donnie so he couldn’t see them talking. He locked eyes with Stella sitting on the ground nearby. “We all know who did this.” He leaned toward Jamie. “You find the evidence. And when he does,” he leaned to Kayce but remained looking at Stella. “You drag him by the hair back to me.” It was almost like John ordered them to help Kayce. The siblings shared a look of concern.

The sound of footsteps approaching Stella and Ryan made her look up from her seat in the ground. Kayce hesitantly stepped closer to the siblings. He locked eyes with Stella. Her breath caught in her throat and she looked back down. Ryan watched and felt his heart break slightly for his little sister. She didn’t have anyone to blame but herself, but that didn’t mean Ryan wanted her to experience the dejection.

Kayce cleared his throat. “Ryan, I’m gonna need you to come with me to look at a few places. Stella, you stay here and help count how many down we have.”

“Yup.” She rose to her feet, and climbed into her saddle. Fixing her glasses, she said to Ryan, “be careful.” She turned and trotted back up the hill to let Rip and Lloyd know she’d be counting with them.

The silence in the truck was deafening. To Kayce, it felt like he’d fallen into a pricker bush. He had determined Ryan knew something had been going on between him and Stella by now. “Let’s get it over with so we can go about the work.”

Ryan tapped the steering wheel and stared straight ahead. There were so many things he wanted to say and he didn’t know where to begin. He scowled. “What the fuck, Kayce? What the fuck were you thinking?” Kayce stayed quiet, knowing he deserved the berating. “You should have known better. Especially since you’re still fucking married! How dare you take advantage of my sister’s feelings for you because you knew she would help you no matter what!”

“I’m sorry, Ryan. I know I hurt her, probably way past what I can fix. She stopped things and walked away. Has barely spoken to me since.”

The confirmation of Stella’s actions gave Ryan a sense of relief that she’d followed through with her word. “Yeah, well you stay away from her. You either fix your marriage, or you choose nothing. Stella isn’t for you to use just because you’re sad and bored.”

“I know, and I want to talk to her—,” Ryan interrupted.

“About what? I think you’ve done enough, don’t you?”

“I want to say I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have crossed that line.”

“You’re damn right you shouldn’t have. She was supposed to be safe with you!”

Kayce looked out the window and thought hard. He knew Stella had always been safe with him and he’d gone and destroyed that. His confusion about the separation between him and Monica, and frustration at his new but old feelings for his best friend that he’d forgotten about had taken over him. Because of his muddled thoughts he wanted to forget. When he was with Stella, he could forget. He could let everything fall away and not be judged or looked at differently for his decisions and judgements. But that was gone now. He was sure of it. He’d fucked that over big time.

Kayce balled his fist. At this point he knew he had to try for his family. The life he’d worked so hard for. Then he would try to repair things between him and his best friend. If she would allow him to do so. “Yeah, man. I got it.” His phone rang and interrupted the conversation. It was Jamie.

“There’s the skydiving place in Three Forks.” Jamie offered a hangar to go look at.

“Yeah we’re headed there now.”

“And then there’s the other two, Missoula and Whitefish.”

“Nah that’s too far.”

Jamie paused. “Um, you didn’t wanna mention the trust?”

“Trust who?”

“The trust. The ranch is in a trust.”

“It is?” Kayce truly didn’t know what his brother was talking about.

“Yeah. Don’t play dumb with me Kayce. I’m looking at your signature right here.”

“I ain’t signed shit.”

“Alright. Call me when you get to Three Forks.” Jamie hung up.

It clicked for Kayce. The papers his dad had him sign the other day when he was being made an agent, must have been for the trust. Ryan glanced over at him.

Kayce ground out between his teeth. “My fuckin’ family, man.”

Stella, Rip and Lloyd trekked up the hill to the big house to tell John how many cattle they found dead. Stella winced as she thought about the number. It was hundreds of thousands of dollars that laid dead in the pasture. Stella halted Abigail when she made it to John.

The patriarch asked, “how many total?”

Lloyd pulled out his book. “So far we've found 360 more.”

“Yeah, they dropped bales all through the valley. If we push the herd down here, they're gonna get into that clover. I say we move them up the pass. Through the mountains.”

Stella cleared her throat. The men laid eyes on her. “Not to give pushback, but if memory serves, isn’t that a really rough trail?”

“It’s an awful rough trail.” Lloyd confirmed her suspicion.

John thought quickly on his feet. “Rip's right. We'll take them over the pass. You know, that goddamn clover's gonna take root. Next spring it'll be worse. We're gonna have to burn that field.”

“Just gotta be careful we don't start a fuckin’ forest fire,” Rip pointed out.

“We'll bring up water trucks. I'll have the fire department out here, just in case. I don't see any other way.” He focused on the ground. “Burn it.”

“Yes, sir.”

Closer to the barn, Rip called out for Stella. “What’re you gonna do for the night?”

“I’m gonna go home and shower. Sleep in my own bed. I’ll be back in the mornin’, don’t you worry your curly head over it, Wheelie.” She smirked at him.

He returned the look. “Be safe, ya hear?”

“Yessir!” She laughed, going to turn Abigail in for the night.

The next morning, all the wranglers were getting everything set up to go burn the fields where the alfalfa was found. It was an all hands on deck kind of situation, and Stella was just as much a part of the hands as anyone else. She helped Rip bring up the all terrains so they could make sure they were all gassed up and ready to go.

John called out to Colby while he waited on Rip and Stella. “Colby, no horses.”

Colby dejectedly grabbed the ax he had just placed on his saddle. He proceeded over to a four wheeler and placed the ax in the holder on the front. “I hate this fuckin’ thing.”

The two pulled in and Colby came over to start putting gas in the one Stella was seated on. Rip climbed off of his next to her. Noticing him stop moving, she turned and her eyebrows pulled together. The fancy silver car that was pulling up the drive to the house must have been what caught his attention. Stella got off of the all terrain and bumped shoulders with Rip. He glanced at her and walked to John, Stella close at his heels.

“Were we expecting anyone today, sir?” Stella questioned. John looked at her with confusion. Rip nodded to the car driving up the hill.

John practically growled. “No. We weren’t. You two go on up there. I’ll be behind you.”

Stella raised her eyebrows at the order. She had never been prompted to be involved in good cop bad cop. ‘I guess he was serious about involving me.’ Rip motioned her to follow him to the horses. One of the horses Colby had gotten ready was hers. She made eye contact with him and nodded her appreciation. He gave her a smile back.

Rip put on his serious voice. “Let’s get a move on, Stella!” She apparently took two seconds too long. Rolling her eyes, she spurred Abigail into action.

[missamyrisa2]

Hii Miss Amy! I think it is fair for you to tickle and tease my armpits now...since i already explored yours pretty well (and would do it again). But be careful, you probably will notice that i get really turned on by having my armpits teased just as teasing a lee's pitties...So if you tease me with your sensitive underarms while you play with mine...you can easily tell me how hard i am at the moment~

Oooh darlinggg~ you are in soooo much trouble when I knowwww there's a hot button on you ~ because I'm going to pressss itttt ~ overrr and over and over again until you're a babbling pile of mushhh and guess what? Then I'm going to work you up more ~ fluff you upppp~ just to press that button again~

Which is to sayyyy I'll have you niiiice and snug on this reclined chair with your arms up and wrists bound behind you~ "arms up, buttercup~!" I'll squeak, hopping onto your lap in my sleeveless cropped top~ all alluring with its dark red floral designs~ "ooh wait~" I snicker, getting right to business as I lean in and start brushing my lips on your underarms, planting tiny kisses up your inner arms and back down and around each pittiee~ "What a pityyy huh? All trussed up like this? Huhhhh? Yeahh? *muah muahhh* ticklish lil cute pits all open for me yeahhhh? You like your kissessss don't youuuu~!" I chatter and hum away, layering kiss after kiss, making sure I keep one arm up at all times holding the back of my neck so you are always looking at one of my sensitive pits while I taunt yours~

And thennnn I lean back and let you spot my sensitive twitching tummy before wriggling my fingers manically, descending slowly steadily to your pits ~ "Tickle tickle tickleeee~ Tickle!!" I coo, letting my nails scribble and scratch around your sensitive skin, squealing in delight as you bounce under me making me bounce too~ "Ooooh sooo helpless and ticklish you say pleeeeease Miss Amy noooot my armpitsss~!" I tease with a high cooing voice, pausing occasionally to pose for you and show off my spots and outfit before diving right back in. "Coochie coochie cooooooo~! I'm tiiiickling your pitsss and there's nothing you can dooo about ittt! Especially not tickling myyyy ticklish pitssss!" I giggle down and start teasing you with a long feather, tracing those pinkened spots softly and elegantly ~

"I mean, my pits are right here darling. I'm right here. Riiiight here and you could stop me. You could tickle me soooo easily. Just take this feather, take this oneee feather and ooooh~!" I squeak out letting you watch me tickle myself, drawing the quill on my spot and then down across my exposed tummy. "Mmmh! Is that what it feels like? This feather? Feather feather feather? What a shame. What terrible fate. What a~~~~pity!!" I toss my tool aside and raspberry your armpit mercilessly, holding you steady with my hands, tracing my nails tauntingly on the outer pit and inner arm. "Don't try to fight itttt~! You're a ticklish pit boy and you're getting tickles till the cows come home~!"

"Or maybeeee~" I lean back and smirk, pointing my finger below and wiggling it up and down. "Maybeeee~! Until youuuuuu comeee~!" I point lower, tracing down your chest and teasing your belly as I get to your very visible arousal. "Naughty naughty ~ naughty thing~!" I wag my finger back and forth and pick the feather back up, clicking my tongue with tsk tsk tsks~ "getting allll worked up, just from your tickless? My goodness, what kind of tickle operation do you think I run here you naughty boy!" I reach up and idly draw my fingers along your underarm while the feather starts to kiss and caress under your tip. "Mmh~ naughty naughty naughty ~ you're gonna be punisheddd mmmmhmmm~ we'll get all that naughtiness out of you I promiseee~"

I keep the feather going, just urging your stiff rod along while I continue tickling away at your armpit, skittering and tracing and drawing around in teasing circles, my look of concentration as I balance your criss-crossed sensations and imitate all your sounds. "OOoh! Ooooh! Mmmmh! Oh my god? Yeahhhh that's righttt I looooove to make you squirmm you sillly naughty thinggg~!" I follow your motions, never allowing your royal part to escape the tickles and teases even when I move up to blow more raspberries or pause to flash my pits to you ~

But the feather does stop for a moment when I pull a risky maneuver ~ with a blush and a grin I move up and lift my arm, bringing my pit closer and closer and closer ~ "You like theseee huhhh?" I smile in your face right as my pit grazes against yours, our sensitive spots connected as I squeal out and start tickling your other pit to make you wiggle against me. "Mmmh~ that's it pittyyyy boyyyy I tickle youuu you tickle meee and you get alllll worked up for me to punishhh~!" I snicker and watch your royal part bounce and tingle, moving back to kiss your pits again before snuggling up to one side.

With my cute outfit and body brushing on you I lean in and kiss a pit before reaching back to pull out my magic wand. "Let's see how long you can take, darling~" I buzz my lips on your pit as I turn on my wand and let it buzz underneath your swollen rod. "And I'm not stopppinggg not till you give me thatttt gigglyyy gaspyyy pitttygasm~!"

[no-where-new-hero]

More Lantern Hill posting! Will attempt to keep this brief as I also have to draft tomorrow's F&H readalong post lol.

CH. 17:

Dad had bought a dish-pan that day, but neither of them had thought about a dish-cloth or dish-towels. Jane got two new undervests out of her trunk and slit them open.

Obsessed by how Jane immediately repurposes one of the unnecessary clothes from Gay Street and uses it as a functional tool of her new life. Talk about reclamation of power.

Also a strange, soft far-away sound—the moaning call of the sea. The night seemed to be filled with it. Jane heard it and something deep down in her responded to it with a thrill that was between anguish and rapture. Why was the sea calling? What was its secret sorrow?

The sea runs through all of LMM's PEI books, yet this seems to be her most oceanic novel as far as I can tell. Only Anne's House of Dreams, and Leslie Moore's character from it in particular, uses the sea as a theme to this extent.

CH. 18:

Jane broiled [the codfish] and her face as well, and it was delicious.

Such an accurate description of cooking. If you're not physically altered by the act, did you really make a good meal?

Her foot was on her native heath and her name was Jane.

Names also define this book to a huge extent. Yes, we saw that with Valancy vs. Doss, but in TBC, Valancy never seemed to doubt she was Valancy. It was a mark of her otherness and used against her, but perhaps because she was older, it doesn't seem such a fundamental building block her identity the way Jane vs. Victoria is here. It's interesting how both Jane and Victoria are hereditary names, which may contribute to how fraught they are.

Dad brought home the ship clock with the dog. Jane found it useful to time meals by, but as far as anything else was concerned there was really no such thing as time at Lantern Hill.

LMM is really a master at creating enchantment. I would never have thought domesticity could be like fairyland, but Lantern Hill really is for Jane, and therefore for us.

CH. 19:

She had a sudden realization of the fact that this was not the first time dad had helped fix up a home…not the first time he had been nicely excited over choosing wallpaper and curtains and rugs. He must have had it all before with mother. Perhaps they had had just as much fun over it as dad and she were having now…more ... how could mother ever have left him?

This paragraph hurt me a little somewhere, and I think it lies in the fact that the moment when a child realizes that their parents were not always parents but once in fact had a life before your existence, something kind of shifts in your worldview. I can't quite remember if Jane has already pondered the circumstances of her parents' separation, but her actively thinking now of when they married seems to be a necessary--if perhaps painful--step forward in her maturity. And of course in the next chapter we begin to hear of Robin again.

CH. 20:

Aunt Irene was smiling, but there was an edge to her voice. Jane thought she would almost prefer grandmother's venom. You didn't have to look as if you liked that.

I would ALSO prefer Grandmother, Jane, which is saying something. God, this whole chapter makes me so mad. I hope Aunt Irene dances in red hot shoes by the end of this novel.

CH. 21:

Jane's letter to her mother is giving such Emily-writing-on-letter-bills-to-her-father: even down to having opinions on cows and including misspellings.

[millartiste]

Hey quick question why are we so chill about the art industry being exploitative? And like, why is it a given that art isn't lucrative for artists when it generates so much money for corporations? We keep being sold this idea that artists work not for money but passion, and that suffering is necessary to create excellence... Idk seems awfully suspicious to me how this aligns perfectly with the conservative view of art.

People with strong conservative tendencies absolutely despise art because 1-they see its power over people and they want it but they're terrible at it (like it's very interesting to note that several figuresheads of fascism possessed failed artistic ambitions, which I believe was because they wanted to be revered by crowds and be immortalized through their art the issue is you need to be curious and humble to make good art lol) 2-artists are free spirited and we often oppose our government when it steps out of line, and conservatives do love the taste of boots and 3-we're statistically more likely to be queer, neurodivergent/disabled, part of an ethnic minority - in other words, degenerates. They want us to suffer. They seethe when they see artists of their time being successful, decrying a worsening of art and culture since the "good old times", quoting long a dead artist whose words they can twist infinitely without being too familiar with their work - a tool to their argument, nothing more. Most likely, they'd hate that artist too had they been born in the right period or simply paid attention. And if you point that out, they'll simply cite another name that fits the conservative vibes because they just don't care.

I once saw an American politician quote a song from the Twisted Sisters called "We're Not Gonna Take It", trying to use a band constituted of men in high heels and makeup singing about taking down the establishment, to attack queer people. Absurd? Yes. Do they give a shit? Of course not. They don't care about anything, they're not paying attention for one second, they don't have respect for you or your creativity, they just want to milk art out of you like a cow until you die in poverty. AI is like an answer to their prayer - they can legally get art without paying you at all now! Not that they'd understand why the results are shit, of course, in fact they can't tell it sucks. Brain too small from purposeful lack of usage.