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rozaceous · 3 months ago

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tcba epilogue: sasumari snippet

this was the main bulk of the epilogue, written even before i posted tcba on ao3. that is how old. ergo, some grain of salt w details pls as it is a v rough draft and some things would have to change for continuity or whatever, but this is the thing it all was angling for. sasumari qpr confirmed.

Watching Sasuke handle the freshly-changed newborn with such intense gentleness while she scrubs off her hands with a shake of chakra, Mariko is bludgeoned with the realization that Sasuke likes babies, and that a sense of responsibility hasn't been his sole driving motivation. And while she reels dizzily from that revelation, she thinks, We can have babies.

And then Mariko stops thinking for a while because that was one too many revelations for it not even being dawn yet.

She has no idea what they think they're doing in the first place. The two of them coming across a raided village with a dying pregnant woman that Mariko hadn't been able to save, and then deciding that they couldn't just leave an infant in a smoking village to die, and then not trusting that the girl wouldn't just meet the same fate the next town over had turned into Mariko manipulating her own hormones to be able to nurse a two day-old baby. And here they are, nearly two weeks out, traveling with a baby in between destabilizing hidden villages and international economies and dodging mercenaries, and she's realizing that the truth of it is that neither of them is gutsy enough to say that they don't think they're giving her up besides all of that. Instead, they've been politely not talking about just such a thing so that they can maintain their fiction of being ruthless shinobi instead of a pair of dysfunctional nineteen year-olds who randomly adopt a baby together despite leading desperately dangerous lives.

God and her boobs hurt. Breast-feeding is no joke; her nipples are chapped and her boobs are sore from going from zero to nursing in the span of thirty-six hours. Her entire upper torso hurts, actually, from having to accommodate the abrupt change in her weight, and the hormonal shift means that she's breaking out for the first time in her life because she's too busy maintaining the hormones and keeping a newborn alive and happy besides her usual maintenance of the Sharingan to have focus to spare to use medical chakra to get rid of her acne.

At least she hasn't actually given birth, because Mariko isn't sure she would be even moderately functional if that were the case.

But instead of pondering any of that mess too deeply, she lets Sasuke bundle the baby up to sleep with him and passes the fuck out. Shun has watch, it's fine.

She doesn't say anything in the morning, either. She feeds the baby, feeling all sorts of soft and sappy and not entirely sure that it's entirely hormonal, because when she looks up, Sasuke is staring at her from across the campsite, staring at them, and to anyone else his expression might be unreadable, but to her all she sees is naked want.

And fine, it's only been a week and a half and by civilian standards they aren't even legal adults yet, but Sasuke has never once complained when the baby cried, has taken her for changing numerous times without Mariko asking, does extra chores, and asks to hold her. Granted that last is in his own, 'I'll take her' Sasuke-style verbiage that makes it seem less about him expressly wanting to do so, but Mariko knows him. And Mariko knows that if she were so diametrically opposed to this entire enterprise, she never would have made herself start lactating, and would've foisted the baby off on the first set of reasonably competent-looking parents she could find, that she wouldn't sing to the baby to calm her from her fussing, wouldn't share comments with Sasuke about how small her hands are with one of those hands gripped around her pinky, wouldn't speculate with him what color her eyes would settle as. (Sasuke thinks dark blue, but Mariko thinks black. She says that she has statistics on her side and Sasuke says that he has the power of basic observation on his and is she sure she isn't still colorblind.)

So to see him staring like that doesn't surprise her as such, but it makes her look away because of how naked it makes her feel to look back. And not naked as in, here she is in the middle of a mountainous forest tits-out kind of naked, because if this was about clothes then they've seen each other naked plenty of times, but naked as in, returning his gaze means he knows that she's thought 'we can have babies,' or at least the equivalent of that thought, and having Sasuke know that about her when she's only known that about herself for less than twelve hours is a bit much.

And so yes, it's all less surprising and more very tender feeling, like a spot that's liable to bruise, and Mariko is just enough of a coward to not to want to prod at it too much.

Instead she looks down at her baby--

And slams the mental brakes because yep, she's in for it now, she's really done it, there's no going back, the river has been crossed. Ha. Ha ha.

Well. No more fooling herself.

She looks back at Sasuke, who's still watching them, makes a sort of tilt of her head that means come here, and then Sasuke's at her side instead of filleting fish, kneeled on the ground where she's cross-legged.

"She needs a name," is what Mariko says, almost like she's hearing someone else say the words. "We can't just keep calling her anoko or Ko-chan." She pauses, thinks a moment, and says dubiously, "Unless you want to name her Kou. I guess that would be…efficient."

Lazy is more like.

Sasuke's eyes go a bit wide. He looks down at the child in question. "A name, huh?"

---

They return to the base in Sound by the time Yasumi is a month and a half old, and she's snug and hidden in her wrap against Mariko's chest under her kimono top and haori, so they don't draw many strange looks until they're waylaid by Juugo and Karin as they're setting down their packs in their dusty entryway and Mariko has to dodge Karin's hug.

"Uhh," says Karin, confused and apologetic, looking her over more carefully, questing for injuries.

"I'm fine," Mariko says hastily. "It's just--"

As if cued, Yasumi starts to whimper and snuffle.

All four of them freeze, and Mariko tries not to glance sideways at Sasuke like a caught-out preteen.

"Is that…a baby?" says Karin cautiously.

"Maybe," says Mariko, like a dumbass.

Yasumi cries louder. Mariko winces and starts shifting fabric around until she's latched onto a nipple. Juugo only seems to realize he's staring at her naked boob after several long moments of shared speechlessness, and then looks away politely, if wild-eyed.

"I'm pretty sure there's no 'maybe' about that baby," says Karin, sounding a bit faint. "Like, that is definitely a baby sucking on your tit, Mariko."

"I mean, you're not wrong."

Sasuke is determinedly not meeting anyone's eye.

"I'm sure that we didn't leave the two of you alone long enough for this to have happened," Juugo says.

Mariko feels a deep flush cover her face, sees something similar happening along Sasuke's cheekbones and ears. If they weren't in the middle of having to explain a mystery baby, she'd think it was adorable. She's only seen him blush a handful of times in her life.

"Five months is not long enough for a baby," Karin agrees. "So why--how--baby?!"

"We found her," Sasuke says. "Her mother died, the village was basically ash--we couldn't leave her."

"So naturally the best option is to just adopt her," Karin says sarcastically.

Neither Sasuke nor Mariko reply to that.

"Oh my god!" Karin bursts out. "Seriously?! You found some strange baby and decided to just keep her?!"

Juugo closes the front door.

"You two are some of the most wanted people on the entire Continent! The bounties on your heads are worth a small country! And you just randomly adopt a baby?! Are you stupid?! You--I--since when are the two of you even sleeping together?!"

Mariko and Sasuke frown in unison at that, because what does that have to do with it?

"Technically we've slept together since the age of twelve," Sasuke says, surly.

"Oh, don't be--you know what I mean! Whatever, you've been doing the whole bedroll-sharing thing for years, blah blah! I mean, Mariko's had this whole under-the-table booty call thing off and on with Haku, and you two are connected at the hip, but you've never been together." But Karin retracts the finger she's been jabbing in their direction, looking between them with sudden uncertainty. "Right? You weren't--you're not together?"

"We haven't been secretly having sex for the past few years, no," Mariko says dryly. Meanwhile, Yasumi detaches herself from her breast, making soft noises. "Not that it's your business, really."

Karin puffs right back up, bright hair tossing over a shoulder, and hands on her hips. "Well, excuse me, but when you bring back a baby together and are implying that she's yours now--you're basically saying that you're her parents!"

Mariko stiffens, because that's a word that she's successfully avoided thinking, even though she's thought the equivalent of its meaning with quite a bit of depth. But when she looks over to Sasuke, he's just frowning at Karin, apparently confused.

"Who else would I have children with but Mariko?" he asks.

Karin has no reply to that; her jaw is locked open. Juugo has his eyebrows up, but doesn't look like he's had the rug pulled out from under him the way Karin does.

Mariko--Mariko can't say exactly the same as Sasuke, mostly because Sasuke says it like he's never even thought about having children except in the context of 'with Mariko.' And Mariko, in contrast, has thought about having children a lot, because talented kunoichi without bloodlines were considered valuable in a way that meant that there was a lot of semi-public conversation about who she'd make a good match for back in Konoha, as soon as she'd visibly hit puberty. Shinobi placed a lot of stock in--well, in one's stock, and to avoid inbreeding to the point of injury, clans liked to bring in fresh blood that was unlikely to rock the genetic boat. Or, hopefully, improve it. And having graduated in a class full of clan heirs and with bloodline geniuses for peers, while herself having gotten a swift series of promotions and an apprenticeship with one of the village's most notorious shinobi…Mariko had always been considered a hot commodity insofar as the older generation was concerned. Her relationship with Haku had garnered a lot of attention, and the possibility of him marrying into Konoha and having children had been a big reason for it.

So if Mariko's ever thought seriously about having children one day, she'd either thought that it wasn't likely because she was planning a societal revolution and was likely to die before reproducing or just be too damn busy, or she'd thought that she might pop out a kid or two with whomever was most convenient to marry and do her best not to fuck them up irreparably.

Hearing Sasuke essentially say that he wouldn't consider having children with anyone but her is functionally the same as when she'd thought 'we can have lots of babies' in a sleep-deprived stupor: it's a conclusion that she should have arrived at sooner, but is incredible and stunning in how normal it felt when she stopped and really thought about it.

Mariko takes Yasumi out of her wrap and faces her towards Karin.

"She's super cute," Mariko says solemnly. "We named her Yasumi. She sleeps a ton and is ridiculously snuggly. We want you to be her godmother."

She shifts Yasumi into Karin's arms, who takes her seemingly on autopilot with an expression like she's been hit over the head. Mariko doesn't even have to tell her to support her head.

Karin stares at Yasumi like she's never seen a baby before in her life.

"We were going to ask both of you, actually," says Sasuke. "To be godparents."

"Me?" says Juugo, alarmed.

"You," Sasuke confirms.

"Naruto'll be pissed when he finds out," adds Mariko, "but I basically raised that guy and he shouldn't be allowed around small children unattended for at least another decade. Besides the whole political situation thing."

"If it's really that important, he can be a godparent later," Sasuke says dismissively.

Mariko turns to him with narrowed eyes. "Someone's getting ahead of himself."

Sasuke seems to realize what he's said and looks as close as he ever gets to sheepish. "Sorry."

"Mmhm."

"Of course this is what you do," Karin says dully. "We leave the two of you alone for five months and think, 'Oh, well, the plan is already for them to fuck things up, how bad can it get?' and then we get reminded that it's you two and that when left unattended you'll both take down an international human trafficking market and find a stray baby to adopt."

"They weren't necessarily any better when we were there to try to stop them," Juugo says, smiling crookedly as he stands closer to Karin, peering at Yasumi. "I know you remember starting an entire labor movement with the civilian printer's guild in Grass when we were just there to steal a press."

"Just because I remember doesn't mean I want to be reminded," Karin grouses.

Sasuke apparently is satisfied that the situation is more or less resolved and sets about unpacking, dragging their bags just off the kitchen; Mariko follows suit and sweeps her chakra around the hall's surfaces, and then the kitchen's, and collects all the dust into a single great bunny of allergens, opens the kitchen window, and has it hop outside. Sasuke turns to stare at her for that last bit.

"Gross," he informs her.

She just shrugs. She animates dust into literal bunnies--sue her. It's not her fault that not everyone appreciates a good pun.

#tcba finale #tcba #this is so gooey i feel like i should hide my face in my hands

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rozaceous · 3 months ago

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tcba epilogue, hakumari snippet

i love sasuke but he's given no quarter here, i'm so sorry lmao

Sasuke comes to claim his daughter, rolls his eyes at them after reassuring them that the other two girls are kept busy and won’t be running out to bother them, and wanders back towards the house, leaving Haku with Mariko on the dock of the pond.

Haku has never disliked Sasuke, but the past several years have given him a distinct appreciation for the man, and they’ve become something like friends. Things like this just cement Haku’s judgment.

Even if he had been enjoying holding a sleeping Ayase.

Mariko notices, naturally.

“She’ll be awake again in a couple hours and screaming for food, and will be appropriately cuddly after,” she says, grinning.

Haku clears his throat. “I wouldn’t want to impose.”

“What impose?” Mariko returns with an unconcerned flap of her hand. She leans back against him until she’s fully reclined, one knee bent and her head rested on his thigh, looking up at him. “You’re welcome here, if that wasn’t clear, and Sasuke might like holding babies more than anyone else I’ve ever met, but it’s not like getting a break from doing so for a few days is a hardship.” Her eyes narrow, though her easy smile doesn’t fade. “Didn’t know you liked holding babies so much, though.”

Haku tucks a piece of hair behind her ear, huffing a laugh. “They have universal charm, I should think. Also, they’re yours, how could I dislike them?”

“Easier than you might think,” she says wryly. She looks at him more deeply, gaze gone assessing, but the moment is so utterly without tension that Haku doesn’t think anything of it until she continues, “Asking super bluntly and kinda out of nowhere, so feel free to take your time answering, but are children something you want?”

The hand he’d had resting on her ribs goes momentarily tense before he catches himself. He’s not sure how he’s meant to take such a question.

“Are you—Mariko? What are you saying?”

“Do you want kids? A kid. With me.”

“With—” Haku doesn’t know how to properly consider the concept. “You have a family, Mariko,” he says slowly, carefully. “You and Sasuke.”

“Sasuke is my family and we have children together,” she agrees. “But I love you and am probably going to keep loving you for the rest of my life, and we have a relationship together, and if you want that relationship to include children, it can. At least, as far as I’m concerned.”

From the way her eyes dart momentarily to the side, Haku interprets the ‘as far as I’m concerned’ as her personal insecurity regarding whatever reservations he might hypothetically have to having children together, rather than Sasuke taking issue. Still, to be clear—

“Is this something you’ve discussed with Sasuke?”

Mariko makes a half-scowl. “Sasuke gets to tell me what to do with my uterus approximately never. I do whatever I want and he can fucking bite me if he doesn’t like it.” But her sudden vitriol subsides immediately. “That’s to say, no, we haven’t talked about it, because I haven’t given it much serious thought before now, but I really don’t think he’d mind. We’re already so deviated from the norm, what’s one more thing? Plus, he’d get to hold more babies, I really don’t think he’d care if the baby was his? Or we wouldn’t have Yasumi.”

‘Deviated from the norm’ is correct; Haku hasn’t forgotten the apparently spontaneous adoption of Sasuke and Mariko’s first child, as at the time it’d felt like taking a lightning jutsu to his worldview, which had categorized the pair as deeply entwined but not at all romantic. Their subsequent genetic children of Kouka and Ayase was a further, though expected, blow to that view, but Haku had—resigned himself isn’t the right phrasing. His relationship with Mariko has always been fraught in some way or another; they were never going to be able to have a straightforward romance ending in marriage and a shared household. Haku has, thus, always been determined to make the most of what he does have with Mariko. He’s not interested in others; his interest is singular, and he can’t imagine anyone else commanding that interest to the same degree. His and Mariko’s circumstances and choices have simply precluded them from consistent closeness.

But this is—Haku has taken Sasuke as a particularly unjealous lover all this time. Yet surely no lover is so unjealous as to welcome another man’s children? But then why does Mariko seem so confident in her assessment?

Moreover, while Haku agrees that Mariko is the only person to determine her own actions and bodily autonomy—and woe betide the person who thought to tell her otherwise, indeed—it’s one thing to say that she does as she pleases, and another to willfully and incontrovertibly upset the dynamic of an established family and partnership.

And there are so many other considerations. Where would the child grow up? Haku has a hard time leaving Mist even for these few weeks, but the new, sudden thought of being estranged from his own child is less tolerable than even the distance between he and Mariko. But would he really have them raised in Mist, and become shinobi, part of the very system Mariko has worked to eradicate? And would he want to chance passing down his bloodline when he’s the last holder of the Ice Release? Could he put that burden on a child? Certainly, too, they wouldn’t have the Yuki name since he’d never taken it up himself, but it’s almost comically ridiculous to imagine a child of his bearing the name Uchiha. Yet how could they have a sense of ancestry and belonging without it?

Mariko presses a finger between his eyebrows; he realizes he’s started to frown.

“Not that you shouldn’t think hard about it,” she says gently, “but there’s no rush. Take your time. We’ll figure it out, however and whatever we want.”

The rush of affection he feels in response isn’t surprising, just an affirmation of his choices. Haku clasps her hand.

Mariko turns more humorous, her usual method of lightening a too-heavy mood. “I’m not doing another pregnancy for another year at earliest. Probably two or three years would be better, since I actually think I had Kouka and Ayase too close together. Like, between iryouninjutsu and basically turkey basting myself, physically I’ve done fantastic with such a short turnaround, but another baby too soon is too many babies being babies or toddlers at the same time and I do not have the stamina—”

She continues in this vein for another minute or so before Haku voices a lingering point of confusion.

“Turkey basted yourself?”

Mariko freezes. “Um. So like, I’m fine with you knowing, but maybe don’t say anything to anyone else, but, uh. Sasuke and I didn’t conceive Kouka and Ayase in the, uh, usual manner.”

Haku thinks forebodingly of her senpai’s history with human experimentation. “Mariko—”

“I just mean we didn’t have sex!” she blurts out in a panic, no doubt correctly reading whatever is in his expression. “It’s not anything freaky like I can tell you’re thinking! I worded that so bad, I’m sorry!”

Haku blinks. “You…didn’t have sex?”

Mariko gives him a put-upon look. He mercilessly waits for an answer.

“He ejaculated into a cup and I shoved the semen up my vag,” she says bluntly. “I knew I was ovulating so the egg fertilized both times, no need for a redo, but yeah. No sex.”

He tries to wrap his mind around this information. “Were you…having difficulty conceiving?”

He can’t really believe that’s the case. Mariko has enough skill as an iryouninja, and enough know-how, to facilitate a pregnancy without resorting to—this.

Mariko’s eyes narrow, then widen. “Haku,” she says, in the tone of someone who’s about to forcibly shift another’s paradigms, “Sasuke and I don’t have sex. At all. I’m sorry I let you assume otherwise, but it never seemed like it mattered to you? And everyone thinks we’re having sex, and we just never bother to correct them because it’s not anyone else’s business what we do or don’t do, and so I don’t even think to correct anyone. But I should’ve—” she clears her throat “—I should’ve told you. Explicitly. Before now. I’m really sorry. I honestly thought you didn’t care, but I guess that sounds like a poor excuse now that I’m saying it out loud.”

Haku looks down at their joined hands, which Mariko’s lightly squeezed. He thinks his entire brain has slowed. He feels rather like he did the time that he stayed awake for three days straight following a mudslide two years ago, too direly needed during the emergency to have time to sleep until he’d gotten so dazed that his sentences had ceased to cohere.

“You’ve never had sex with Sasuke?” he asks, slow, because even in interrogative form the words don’t seem right.

Mariko bites her lip. Haku stares.

“You can never tell,” she says finally, intensely. “Ever. You can’t even let on that you might suspect. But I haven’t said anything this whole time and now that I have the opportunity to tell someone, I think I’m going to explode if I don’t, holy shit. So.” Mariko’s eyes shift around, and Haku even feels the brush of jutsu as she ascertains that no one is within listening distance. “Look, in general, Sasuke’s feelings about sex can be summed up as ‘gross’ and ‘for other people,’ but it’s not like he doesn’t know that we’ve had sex. And if Sasuke was curious enough to give it a go, I was hardly going to say no, I love the guy and my eyes work, okay? So the one time Sasuke and I tried to have sex—well, I already used the word tried. Please understand what I’m saying.”

#tcba finale #tcba

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