#TAoL theory

[cindydartist]

Why I think BotW fits as a sequel to TAoL

My lovely siblings let me rant Legend of Zelda timeline stuff to them and I figured, might as well post it here. Note: this is my own headcanon, NOT what I think Nintendo or anyone else HAS to follow. I know and recognize that neither BotW nor TotK are part of the official Zelda Timeline.

--

Currently, if I had to pick a spot for it [BotW] in the Canon timeline, I'd put it after The Adventure of Link (second released game) with LU nicknamed 'Hyrule' Link. Two main reasons for that:

1) Ganondorf the Man and Ganon the Beast

The Fallen timeline in which TAoL takes place is the only timeline where pig Ganon is the predominant form of Ganondorf. (Despite all the separate incarnations of Link and Zelda, Ganondorf… is kinda just one guy through all of it who refuses to die properly.)

This is due to him gaining the Triforce of Power AND KEEPING IT by killing the Hero of Time (hence why that timeline branch is referred to as the Fallen Hero or Downfall timeline). Ganondorf's beast form is always shown in the games as an overrun of power and a sacrifice/discarding of the 'human' in him. In the other two timelines, he is beaten in that form effectively immediately after transforming, therefore has no time to lose himself. He continues to keep his gerudo form in further sequels/successors. Not so in the Fallen timeline.

By the time we get to A Link to the Past, Ganondorf has been beast Ganon up to/after the imprisoning war, a last-ditch effort by a bunch of sages after the Hero of Time’s death. Some details are unique to Hyrule Historia book, but the sealing war is a key part of history for ALttP (and its sequels) due to the plot-related presence of those sages’ descendants.

Again, Ganon only shows up in beast form in this game and going forward. A secondary factor may be where he was sealed to: Ganondorf keeping the Triforce of Power for a hot minute also keeps the Sacred Realm (where the Triforce previously resided in OoT) transformed into the Dark World (also predominately featured in ALttP)

ALttP’s Link, LU nickname Legend, later has Oracle of Seasons and Oracle of Ages. The goal of hidden antagonists Koume and Kotake is to resurrect Ganon. (This isn't exactly spoiler territory for either gameplay, but heads up I guess?) It succeeds -- partially. The Ganon brought back is mindless - only a force of destruction. Sound familiar??

Importantly, this all adds up to a potential Decomposition of Ganondorf the Man.

While Ganon does regain some strategic thinking in The Legend of Zelda I (Hyrule's first adventure), he remains in pig/beast form. And is killed again. Okay, technically it doesn't state killing, so it could be sealing away. Except. One of the most known things about Zelda II: The Adventure of Link is if you die enough times to get a game over, it states Ganon comes back, implied to be through spilling Link's/Hyrule's blood. Quote from the game’s English instruction manual “The key to Ganon’s return was the blood of Link – the valiant lad who overthrew the King of Evil. Ganon would be revived by sacrificing Link and sprinkling his blood on the ashes of Ganon.”

Revive? Blood ritual?? Ashes??? Sounds awfully like a resurrection ritual ta me.

Thus, with further decomposition of self through death and revival, especially if one counts how many times Hyrule’s predecessor Legend defeated Ganon as killing him, it makes perfect sense to me that a logical conclusion would be BotW Calamity Ganon. (Granted, I have not finished TotK’s history plot yet, so there may be arguments/evidence I am unaware of with how he got that way. Like his existence as Gerudo Ganondorf, but from my current info, that is in the far past, potentially after Skyward Sword. Sue me, I have a working theory the Zonai are evolved Remlits)

On to my SECOND reason:

2) My Own Personal Gratification ✨

The world of Zelda I and Zelda II is frankly post-apocalyptic. Ironically more so than ALttP which is the closest to the ACTUAL apocalyptic events that happened.

Perhaps it is important to note that ALttP explicitly confirms the idea that a previous unnamed hero failed to stop Ganondorf. And that years back IRL there was genuine reason to speculate that that previous hero was Hyrule. Now think about the blood ritual.

With the release of the official timeline, that theory is now only fanon. But the potential is still there. Currently there is no canonical sequel to Hyrule’s story. Legend’s adventures give evidence readable as foreshadowing that this is a timeline where the land itself has clearly degraded. The zora are ruthless enemies that will attack on sight. Natural water is acidic and damages. There are monsters who can take the form of hylians so no-one ever knows quite who is safe to trust.

Link’s/Hyrule’s story is beautiful because he is effectively hope that refuses to give up on a land falling apart. A synergy between selfless bravery and survival. One who sees hardiness in the weakened kingdom’s people and inspires them to try a little harder, be a little kinder, trust a little more.

For all we know, as long as there is a monster or member of the Cult of Ganon, he might be running forever. Will have to carry that risk for the rest of his life. For the sake of Hyrule’s people and future, how he lives as a hero is not enough; he must control how he dies.

 Is it strange to wish that the bountiful green land of BoTW is what his kingdom will eventually be? That, even if not in his lifetime, the Kingdom of Hyrule will continue on and find its feet again?

That’s how I see BotW. Even if Ganon manages to destroy Hyrule, it will always live on through its people. You can never take what was never takeable in the first place.

--

tldr; Pigman signifies Dementia and I want Hyrule!Link to have a happy freaking ending, okay?

[tcookies777]

I’m glad to see that you aren’t letting those trolls/haters affect you too much. Has this experience change the way you see the kakasaku fandom or how you feel about the ship? How is it different from sasusaku fandom?

There’s a preview out for Sasuke retsuden episode that you can look at but it’s horrible. The ugly art style you are talking is the one we are getting. Moreover the script writer is the one that hates sakura so he’s gonna add stupid lines that make sakura looks bad again. It’s hopeless already for me so I’m gonna pretend like there’s no anime adaption.

It doesn't affect me as much as it would've had I been a younger, newer writer. But with 10 years under my belt, I'm sad to say I've experienced worse and seen other fanfic writers go through worse as well. I will say though that everyone has their limits, and when a writer gets constant hate and harassment over something they're providing for FREE, they will eventually quit altogether.

Sending hate to a fanfic writer because they're going on break and/or because they didn't write a full sex scene in the 1st of the 4 acts of the story serves to accomplish nothing but motivate the writer to abandon the fic for good.

Want a sex scene? Don't nag the writer for it because all the constant nagging turns us off from wanting to write it anymore. Want the writer to return to the fic sooner? Don't bitch at the writer for taking a break because it makes them want to NEVER return to the fic at all.

And then you get no sex scene as well as a huge cliffhanger forever.

Which is possibly what the haters want?? Otherwise, why would anyone think that bitching at the writer will magically make the writer want to submit to such demands at their own expense? It is so illogical and stupidly counterproductive.

Thus, many fanfics are abandoned and even deleted.

And honestly if it does reach that point, I will abandon and delete TAOL if I have to. I've been forced to do it before, and not just for my sanity but also for my safety. I've since come to understand my boundaries and enforce them when needed.

However, I don't like judging a whole group just because of the behavior of the few, so I don't think it'd be fair of me to look at the KakaSaku fandom or ship in a different light. Besides, every single corner of every single fandom always has some toxic people; that's unavoidable.

In comparison to my experience with writing for the SasuSaku fandom though, my SasuSaku readers are more chill for me if I have to be completely honest. I never had any rude comments when I was working on my SasuSaku fics or got harassed for going on break. All my SasuSaku readers have always been kind and supportive. Not once did I ever get a reader complaining that they have so many questions about the plot's mystery - and there is SO much mystery in When the Flowers Cry than in TAOL. When the Flowers Cry is so much more fun to write because readers just post their theories instead of demanding me to hurry and give them the answers to the plot or hurry up and write sex already.

And whenever I go on break for TAOL, there's always a handful of readers who get pissed at me regardless if my absence is due to surgery or a medical emergency - they get pissed at me no matter what. Meanwhile, I have been on break from both When the Flowers Cry and Cut Me Down but I'll Still Rise for ~2 years now and not one SasuSaku reader has sent hate my way. Not a single one.

So even though I don't look at either fandom groups in a different light, I will say my experience in writing SasuSaku fics and writing KakaSaku fics are so startlingly different from each other that you can probably guess which of the 2 audiences I enjoy writing for more.

As for that damn script writer for the Retsuden anime... I guess that was inevitable too. Still, it maddens me to hear that news. I did watch clips of the anime but it just does not do the novel justice. Years of waiting for the anime to treat Sakura right and I just keep waiting like a fool.

I'll just follow your example and pretend the anime doesn't exist either lol.

I am enjoying the manga but I do feel like the rubble scene with Sakura could have been executed better. I would've liked an extra panel or two depicting Sasuke desperately lifting the rocks to get to Sakura and his hand worn out from digging but maybe I'm just being picky!

P.S. - I'm so sorry for the late reply! I thought I'd posted this but just found out it'd been sitting in my drafts the whole time - so sorry!

[hyrulesunflower]

SO...... THEY SAY HISTORY REPEATS ITSELF.......

MARIO IN BREATH OF THE WILD 2???!!!

[sagemoderocklee]

Hello, I hope you are doing well !

Here is my prediction regarding TAoL for the fanfic ask game thingy !

I cannot help but think that during their stay on the pirate ship, Gaara will have to work along with Lee as his status as a ‘prince’ will mean nothing to the women. He will have to prove himself and he will develop some bonds with pirates. I think he will like the way he is like any other despite the events that led him to being incognito.

Thank you for this opportunity to share our thoughts and for publishing the amazing fiction that is TAoL ! It changed my life ahahah.

:).

anon i’m crying at this!!!!! you’re so sweet. i cannot wrap my head around someone saying my fic changed their life that’s amazing and so… ahhhh i’m overwhelmed!!!

i absolutely love seeing ppls theories and predictions for my fics especially TAoL since so much of the story is a mystery!

as for this prediction… mhm this is like partially cold and partially warm, so a really confusing temperature to measure lol i’ll give it a🌦 as the gauge because i don’t know how else to describe this

thank you so much for this wonderful ask and sharing how much you love this fic!!! ♥️♥️♥️

[ancientskullkid]

Zelda theory time! We know the Kokiri became the Koroks between OoT & TWW. Obviously NOT a slow genetic biological evolution from fauna to flora, but instead a magical transformation. Also, not all Kokiri changed! Fado the Wind Sage remained a Kokiri when the Kokiri changed into Koroks. So this is my theory. The Kikwi followed Oolo up to Skyloft after the events of SS. The Kikwi became the Picori. The prologue of TMC says the Picori “appeared from the sky” This means the Minish World/Realm is so named because it is where the Minish went to after the events of the Hero Of Men, rather than being the place where the Minish came from (because they actually came from the sky first). So the Kikwi move to the Sky, become Picori, then move back down to the surface. The Picori in the forest become Kokiri between the events of TMC & OoT. However, how does this happen? Do they all change at once? Do they have individual choice whether to change? Farore, the Oracle of Secrets, is found in Castle Town in TMC. I believe her to be Kokiri, perhaps the first Picori to change into Kokiri. Timeline split. Adult timeline. of course TWW, Kokiri into Koroks. I’m not sure we see this race in ST. I suppose it’s possible that they became the Lokomo, but I personally believe the Lokomo to be Sheikah (magic technology like SS & BotW). I think the Koroks are still helping the Deku Tree(s) raise Old Hyrule and/or drain the Great Sea, which is obviously South of New Hyrule. Child timeline. TP. we saw Farore in Castle Town in TMC. we see Agitha in Castle Town in TP. both part of a trio. Farore is Kokiri. Din is Gerudo. Nayru plays the Harp of Ages, which is the same color as Timeshift stone & indeed its main function is time travel. The Sheikah symbol is on Timeshift stone in SS. Sheikah Tech in BotW is Timeshift stone color, & the Stasis rune freezes something in time. I believe Nayru the Oracle of Ages to be Sheikah. Agitha, Telma, & Fanadi. Fanadi is obviously Sheikah. Telma is Gerudo, she even has a Gerudo symbol on her apron/dress. Agitha is Kokiri. Child in appearance with strange adult maturity. Forest theme in her “castle” with living flora all over. These 3 each have 3 dots around their eyes. Red for Gerudo. Blue/Purple for Sheikah. Green for Kokiri. So Agitha is Kokiri in TP. But where are the rest? There’s a theory about the monkeys, but it’s far more likely that they are related to the Terminian monkeys in MM (same timeline split). The Picori came from the sky. The forest Minish have a feather. Are they wearing the feather or are they growing the feather? Fado & Makar are Wind Sages. Vaati is a wind mage. Saria was going to be Wind Sage before they changed her to Forest Sage. Strong connection between Forest & Wind elements. I think the Kokiri returned to the sky between OoT & TP. As the Oocca. so... here’s the thing... the Loftwings also lived in the sky... there���s a chance that the Kikwi & Loftwings were magically joined into 1 Picori race... which would strengthen the Forest/Wind interchangeability & the feathers of the Picori & the Oocca. But there’s an equal (if not greater) chance that the Loftwings are not connected... and I kinda prefer the idea that the Helmaroc King in TWW & 4SA is related to the Loftwings. but anyway, digress and all that. 4SA. Vaati was Picori. the only other characters I can think of that have any chance of being this race are the Maidens. Perhaps the Green Maiden, but I have another theory about her being Hylian & descended from (or just related to) Auru from TP and/or Rauru from OoT. I believe White to be the 4SA generation of Impa/Impaz, Yellow to be descended from/related to Fanadi from TP, Blue to be descended from/related to Renado & Luda from TP, Red to be descended from/related to Telma from TP, & Purple to be descended from/related to Ashei from TP. there’s also the Zuna, but there has been pretty much no desert connection with any of the other races in this theory. & I have a theory about the Zuna being descendants of some Twili that moved from the Twilight Realm to live in Hyrule’s desert. Downfall timeline! ALttP. There’s the Lumberjacks: A. Bumpkin, B. Bumpkin, & Q. Bumpkin. They are dressed like Kokiri, however they are cutting down trees... which seems like not a Kokiri thing to do. There’s also the dwarven swordsmiths. Dwarven as in short, like the Kikwi, Minish, Kokiri, Koroks, & Oocca. Swordsmiths as in the Kikwi forged the Slingshot, the Picori forged the Picori Blade, the Kokiri forged the Kokiri Sword, the Oocca forged the Dominion Rod, & the Koroks forged the Forest Dweller’s Sword in BotW. They also remarkably resemble the Mountain Minish. also, the 1 found in the Dark World is found in a frog-like form... frogs being consistently connected to the Wind element (Zephos, Cyclos, Cylos)... and the Kokiri & Korok Sages being Wind Sages. Of course... if Farore can be a Kokiri while there are Picori Minish... and if Fado can be a Kokiri while there are Koroks... and if Agitha can be Kokiri while there are Oocca... then it is possible that both the Lumberjacks & the Dwarven Swordsmiths are Kokiri. but it’s also possible that neither of them are Kokiri. Farore is in the Oracle games. I think it’s very possible this race in any form are the elves of Hyrule, as in ageless & immortal (but not invincible or unkillable!)... so I think it is possible (even probable) that Farore the Oracle of Secrets is the same in TMC as she is in the Oracle games, as opposed to an ancestor/descendant situation. She lives in the Maku Trees, which talk like Deku Trees. Seems pretty Kokiri. In the Oracle games, we come across the talking birds in a house known as the Know-It-All birds... just like the Kokiri Brothers in OoT... & the birds do not appear to have an owner... could be this race in an Oocca-like form in the Oracle games. Under Holodrum live the Subrosians in Subrosia. and here we get to another thing... in SS, Guld the Mogma also lived in the sky at the end... & we never see the Mogma again. Perhaps the Kikwi joined Oolo and the Mogma joined Guld. There is a chance the Mogma & Kikwi magically merged into one Picori race. the Picori themselves have very similar body types to the Mogma. Mole-like snout-ish face, 4 mole-ish fingers. Mountain Minish live underground on a volcanic mountain. if the Kikwi, Mogma, & Loftwings all merged into 1 Picori race... then when they return to the surface... the Picori more like their Mogma ancestors could have felt drawn to the mountain... the Picori more like their Kikwi ancestors could have felt drawn to the forest... & the Picori more like their Loftwing ancestors could have felt drawn to the Hylians in Castle Town. Perhaps after TMC... the Town Minish return to the sky as Oocca that show up in TP & as the Know-It-All birds in the Oracle games... the Forest Minish turn into Kokiri... & the Mountain Minish move to Subrosia & become the Subrosians. ALBW. just a few options. I believe Agitha to be Kokiri in TP. the bee guy is similarly obsessed with bees as Agitha is with bugs. so he could be Kokiri. and in Hyrule there is 1 Dwarven Swordsmith instead of 2, but for all the same reasons as the 2 in ALttP, he could be Kokiri. there is also a dwarven swordsmith in Lorule... but if Lorule is Termina, then the Lorule Dwarven Swordsmith is more likely related to Zubora (who I believe to be Sheikah). the 1st Zelda game has no characters & is in desperate need of a remake that really fleshes it out. TAoL. in the Great Palace are bird-like “enemies” that are only “enemies” because they protect the Triforce of Courage because they serve the King of Hyrule. could be this game’s version of Rito. could be this game’s version of Oocca. the Fokka have arms & they wield swords & shields. the Fokkeru are more bird-ish than humanoid. perhaps the Fokka are Rito. perhaps the Fokkeru are Oocca. last but not least BotW. Koroks, obviously. however... I believe adult Hylians become Stalfos when they get lost in the Lost Woods... child Hylians become Stalchildren when they get lost in the Lost Woods... & Kokiri become Skull Kids when they get lost in the Lost Woods without their Fairy partner... keeping their soul & personhood (unlike the Stals) when the Forest Curse turns them undead, because when they were not undead they were immortal. So what happens when a Korok gets lost? Blupees. Picori Minish supposedly made and/or hid rupees in the grass. they become Kokiri. they become Koroks. they get lost & become Blupees, which make rupees when shot with an arrow. also, the Blupees gather around Satori, the Lord of the Mountain, who very much resembles Ordona from TP, Light Spirit of a forest province very close to where the Kokiri & Deku Tree lived in OoT. Blupees gather around Satori very similarly to how Kokiri/Koroks gather around Deku Trees. I’ve got this big theory that the whole Zeldaverse is much MUCH smaller than most fans think it is. and this idea that the Kikwi, Picori, Kokiri, Koroks, & Oocca are all 1 race in 5 forms instead of 5 separate races is just a small piece of that mega-theory. but it is just that... a theory...

[tcookies777]

TAOL related. But there’s kind of like a “war” going on the comment section of your latest chapter. Well, it’s not really a war but more like a discussion or debate. Based on some comments, I get the feeling a lot are anxious that either Sakura or Kakashi are to have sex with other people(?) in future chapters and they don’t want to read any of those or they’ll drop the fic(?) is what I am understanding. I mean, I understand that issue because I’m not a fan of reading those things. There’s also the concern when it comes Rin but I don’t understand the issue here tho.

I welcome any and all opinions just so long as they are expressed in a polite and respectful manner even in the face of disagreement. It's disheartening to see that which could have been a civil debate devolve into snide remarks and callous rebuffs.

On that note, it's also hard to say anything in response to all these theories and interpretations because that would require me to give away spoilers which ruins the fun for everyone.

I do want to reassure people that this is first and foremost a KakaSaku fic through and through. But it's important to understand that internal conflict is significant for the character growth of these characters, especially for these 2 who are very much inexperienced in love. A romance as forbidden as this one is not so simply resolved by confessing feelings like you would to a classmate. Because their feelings are forbidden, it is expected that they would try to fight those feelings. So, Kakashi's sex scene with that bar chick wasn't just written in for fun; the outline omitted details of the sex scene because I originally intended to have the sex scene be vague in detail and like a summary (i.e. "they fucked and he went home later to feed his dogs blah blah blah). But while writing the chapter, I found it was necessary to have the sex scene be detailed in description and I explained why in this ask. So it is confusing to hear that some readers take that one sex scene to mean that this whole fic will be about Kakashi and Sakura banging OCs instead of each other. I'm not trying to scam people here - this is indeed a KakaSaku fic. I don't throw in OCs without reason, but I'm also not going to spoonfeed those reasons to you guys in the story either. If people don't understand the purpose of a scene then that's on them, but it's also okay to not understand it just so long as they don't dismiss it as pointless. If I think a scene doesn't add anything substantial to the plot or character development then I cut it out as a deleted scene.

But if a reader does understand the point of a scene and still doesn't like it, then that's on them - I'm going to be direct to the point on that. But that is no one's fault - not the writer's or the reader's. It simply boils down to preference. And I am the kind of writer who prefers to intentionally write uncomfortable scenes (i.e. sexual assault, death, tragedy, etc) because my primary goal is not to fulfill readers' expectations and fantasies but to take a grounded approach. And for a story like TAOL which wrestles with mature themes, a grounded and sometimes gritty approach is needed to convey such themes. Because at the background of all this romance is a war veteran struggling with mental health issues and a girl juggling a doomed romance life with abandonment issues.

There's no easy route to a happy ever after because this story is meant to be a more grounded take on the forbidden student-teacher relationship trope. We have an underaged girl in an arranged marriage who falls in love with her teacher who is twice her age and suffers from a lot of trauma. There are many obstacles to overcome in their road to a happy ever after and I don't want to just Bibbidi-Bobbidi-Boo all the shit away just so that readers can get to their dessert of smut more quickly. There are many fics where teacher Kakashi and student Sakura fuck and ride off into the sunset within a couple chapters, and people can go read those fics instead if they want instant gratification (I sure as hell do that!). But this fic is tagged "angst with a happy ending" which means these characters (and me as the writer, ugh) have to work very, very hard to overcome all odds and challenges to their forbidden relationship in order to achieve that happy ever after.

I want that ending to pay off so that we, and the characters, all feel like it's well-earned and justified.

As for Rin - in this story, Kakashi's relationship with Obito and Rin is integral to his character just like it is in canon, so it's impossible to avoid writing Rin in. Sakura, if we remember, is also only 17 yrs old and has 0 experience in romance - in fact, the few boys who have asked her out always end up leaving her stood up, which is damaging to a girl's ego. If she sees a woman like Rin intimately touching Kakashi who tends to keep people at arm's length, of course she's going to wonder who this woman is to him. And again, given Sakura's young age and lack of romantic experience, of course she's going to feel insecure. I mean, imagine you're a 17 yr old girl who has never had a boyfriend and you're crushing on a super sexy 31 yr old professor whom all the women go gaga over. Wouldn't you feel insecure? So maybe it's cliché, but I find that's the more realistic, grounded approach and if that bothers some readers then that's totally okay - they can always quietly drop the story whenever they want, no excuses needed and no hard feelings.

Either way, everyone is free to interpret or theorize however way they want. But the story is still incomplete, so we must remember to take everything with a grain of salt until all truths are revealed. AND sometimes when a truth is revealed, there is still yet the explanation to be given. There are even some things set up in ACT 1 that won't be explained until the last ACT. And that's one reason why ACT 1 is a slow build is because it's setting up a lot of things for later on. You may have noticed that there is a B plot, a C plot, and even a small D plot going on in the background while Kakashi and Sakura have been having this whole drama with each other. Weaving all these plotlines together while juggling character development and romance so that they all coalesce in the end takes time and - unfortunately for me - a high word count. Which is why I warned at the very beginning that this is initially a slow build. If readers don't have the patience for a longfic like this one then that's okay because that's their preference, but I'm not going to skip the development just to get from one plot point to the other more quickly. People want to read a story - not a summary - and a story is what I want to tell.

So speculate away, but it helps to read the whole story first and get the entire picture before coming to conclusions. It's easy for the audience to see a drawing of a tail and assume the artist is painting a dog when it actually ends up being something entirely different.

But again, everyone has their preferences and they are always free to drop the fic whenever they want for whatever reason they have. No harm, no foul! What is harmful and foul are comments that lack courtesy and that is where I draw the line.

[tcookies777]

Read the reviews on the latest chapter of TAOL, people are feeling something about kakashi time with that yua. How do you feel about those comments?

It's fun seeing everyone's reactions!

.... I realize how sadistic that sounds, haha.

But I do love seeing your guys' interpretations. I don't care if your interpretation is wrong or right - I just like to know what your interpretation is.

The same with all your theories. I have the entire story planned out with each chapter outlined in extreme detail, so everything is already set in stone. But part of what I love about storytelling is seeing what you guys think will happen. When I read your theories, it's fun to think "ooh you're spot on/close!" Or "that's an interesting idea!"

And with Kakashi's scene with Yua, I'm glad many readers were unhappy (understandably) but still understood the importance of that scene in regards to Sakura.

I originally planned to have the sex scene be vague. But I realized I needed to be more detailed with the scene to express Kakashi's thought process. I didn't want readers to just think "oh Kakashi's just having sex for the heck of it because he's a man with needs". But rather "oh he's having sex to try and take his mind off Sakura because he knows it's immoral of him to want her". And obviously his plan fails and he realizes he's not just sexually attracted to Sakura. He wants her for reasons he can barely even explain. He doesn't yet recognize the feelings he has for her. He knows he is attracted to her, but he cannot yet identify what - specifically - his feelings for her are. He's also too scared to identify those feelings. For now, the best Kakashi can do is compare his attraction to Sakura as like a man addicted to pain medication. And in the scene with Asuma in his office, you might remember that Kakashi briefly mentions how he was starting to develop an addiction to pain medication in the last few years of his military service.

I don't want to spoon feed everything to you guys because I like you having your own interpretations for now. But yeah, it's interesting to see all of your reactions for chapter 21 and that makes me even more eager to see how you guys will react to the upcoming chapters.