#Synestia

[darth-maya]

The song of the day is

DISEMBODIED TYRANT/SYNESTIA - WINTER

[akhillasmyth]

So i found out the other day im a synesthete / have synesthesia?

Meaning i experience sounds/words/colors/other with sensory input thats not related to the subject itself!

Like i can tell you magenta feels like goopy honey dripping from my mouth but tastes like flower petals after the rain, on my hands it feels like gentle velvet and fuzzy leaves.

Literally poetry built into my brain like whatttt

I never knew this cuz autistic “takes everything literally” made me believe it was a lot more of a “hallucinatory” experience i guess? Not one that happens in my brain by itself

Its hard to explain how it /works/ but i can describe the sensations!

[yourdarlingness]

　The Poetic Edda // I, The Devourer　—　by Disembodied Tyrant and Synestia

﹢　Day 2 of @ebiuxxxx 's event　◞◞ 　 a random song i found out recently and became my fav

[justaboymadeofhoneyandglass]

Can you do they/them for the synesthesia drawing

Here you go! As for other asks I’ve received about it, I just got back my pen I will do them dw!

[the-halcyon-effect]

ok this is seriously the best deathcore ever written. like holy shit. this is like lorna shore but every knob is turned to 11. i was genuinely scared for my life during the breakdown of winter bc it's just that insane. please listen to it

[cherrwysx-music]

♫ Synestia x Disembodied Tyrant - The Poetic Edda ♫

[thedreadpiratematt]

The vibes this morning

[here-is-kia]

I haven’t been writing for a while, I feel terrible about it. Since now I have always used my laptop and used Grammarly before uploading here. Right now it is 5:43 am, in the middle of Ramadan, school is closed because of it. I need to study, I know, but I can’t bring myself to do it. It takes too much of my time, and my efforts fucking always goes unnoticed. Expected, I know. My laptop is fucking broken and useless now, I can barely use it. Day by day I am losing my sanity because of it. I have no will whatsoever. I begged to die yesterday, crying and shivering. Pathetic. Couldn’t even stop. I wish my parents would see me as a human instead of a puppet who should just focus on their studies. They want the good for me, but what’s the point if every single word they make me want to crawl out of my skin? Staying with them for over three minutes is painful. I want to be myself. To be free. I can understand and see my mother’s thoughts, I can feel them. Like a hand is holding a vein between my heart and neck. It’s not fair. How my father treats my younger sister, how my mother is different to her. Few days ago, well actually two days ago- Me and my sister cried in each other’s arms complaining about life. She is fucking 9. Nine. She says life is too hard, how she thought pain is fictional. She saw a childhood video of mine, and it shocked her how different i had become. Trauma can change you, some people have it harder, you may not remember and intellectualise your past. My mother has a lot of opinions, and I know the existence of it. Just because she ‘loves’ me doesn’t mean I feel loved by her, she oversees my screams, and tears. I am genuinely disgusted by her. If I were a mother, I vow I wouldn’t be like her. She thinks she is the best in the whole world, she ‘thinks’ she lets us do whatever we want. She simply doesn’t ‘parent’ us. She never will. And my father is… ugh. Saying anything about him brings tears to my eyes, it fact there are tears in my eyes right now. He cares, but I did wish if he just left me fucking Alone. I want my own life. I fucking hate my parents. I am being ungrateful and don’t fucking care anymore. They simply don’t fucking understand how fucking hard it is to get these grades. How can ALL of your three kids be suicidal? One is 9, another is fucking 7 and tried to kill hi self with a knife. I don’t even know if they are blind or are just ignoring everything. Mother likes to hide from father. I hate her. I hate it when I tell her my grades and she doesn’t tell father, father thought I hide my grades from him. I didn’t correct him. It hurts. I have my ambitions and all, please just give me a fucking break. From all your fucking expectations and opinions. I hate my mother. I tell her I love her every now and then, I am simply lying. I joke around and shit, but I can’t stand it anymore. I am a Muslim, a mighty believer too. I can’t run away when I get older, no matter how much I want to. Maybe I can, hopefully. Though death seems more easy, still begging your God to take away your life but still let you go to heaven is like begging your teacher to let you leave the exam hall and still let you pass. When will I be free? When? Never? I want freedom, I hate my mother’s thoughts and opinions, I can fucking feel them. It makes me want to crawl out of my skin. She thinks she is the best mother there is, yet all she does she buy endlessly for her little dolls and argue how I have tons of clothes. She hates me, I am too ugly for her. I know. I hope she— no I don’t even want her to know about the pain she had caused us. She is too stubborn and would cry like a child. It’s sadly really, to be trapped your whole life. I can never be alone, I hate them. I hate taking the blame always. It’s not like my father is the capable man he thinks he is. I want to die.

Actually you know what? I don’t want to be away from a family, I want to spend time with a family, I want to joke around with a family(I mean I am already a laughing subject no matter how amazing my grades and weight are.) I just can’t stand this one. I am far too disgusted by them. Far, far too disgusted. In Ramadan, your Naf is still with you, maybe this is who I actually am. A pathetic emotional child. A worthless being. What benefit would my parents get from my successful future, that I do not know. I think they want me to succeed so they can feel like they accomplished something. I can never be my own person. I hate them. Even if parents have their own problems, their children still shouldn’t all be fucking in love with death.

Here, death is not a fear but a privilege. The children envies people who experience death. They want to physically(my sister said to me that day) harm themselves for attention. Please, you are fucking busy but you are a parent. They aren’t parenting, they are slacking off, giving us the basic human needs then taking a break. I was never enough, will never be. I am worthless, and if my fucking mother says ‘Oh Sweetie no! Who told you that!?’ In her honeyed voice, I will kill her. I probably won’t— but it will still be my breaking point js—

Freedom, heaven, today I saw a comment on a reel on Instagram, saying the prophet said life is a prison to the believers and paradise to the non-believers. It is kind of like a sign, of course life is not a paradise to everyone. I am doubting the authenticity of the translation. The last sentence doesn’t sound correct, it certainly is not from the Quran. It says ‘prison’ not hell, so I don’t think the is actually ‘paradise’. I did like how it said ‘prison’ though, a sign hopefully. It just gives you that shed of hope every delusional teenager with trauma likes to cling into.

-6:39 including time taken for tags :P

[darth-maya]

The song of the day is

DISEMBODIED TYRANT/SYNESTIA - I, THE DEVOURER

[chromonausea]

𝗔𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘀𝗼𝗻𝗴 𝗿𝗲𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗺𝗲𝗻𝗱𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝗿𝗲𝗰𝗲𝗶𝘃𝗲𝗱 𝗮 𝗹𝗼𝘁 𝗼𝗳 𝗽𝗼𝘀𝗶𝘁𝗶𝘃𝗲 𝗳𝗲𝗲𝗱𝗯𝗮𝗰𝗸 (𝗿𝗲𝗹𝗮𝘁𝗶𝘃𝗲𝗹𝘆 𝗮𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗮𝗰𝗰𝗼𝘂𝗻𝘁 𝘄𝗮𝘀 𝗿𝗮𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿 𝗶𝗻𝗮𝗰𝘁𝗶𝘃𝗲 𝗯𝗲𝗳𝗼𝗿𝗲), 𝗜'𝗺 𝗮𝗱𝗱𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘀𝗼𝗺𝗲 𝗼𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿 𝘀𝗼𝗻𝗴𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗜 𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗹𝗹𝘆 𝗹𝗶𝗸𝗲 𝗮𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗽𝗿𝗲𝘀𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝘁𝗶𝗺𝗲.

[akhillasmyth]

This is a beige hate post cuz beige makes me feel claustrophobic and tastes like cartboard

[metal-stills]

Disembodied Tyrant / Synestia - Death Empress

Self-released

2024

Video by Blake Mullens

Official Video

[andtheghost]

There are few things I enjoy more than people mixing two things that should never ever be mixed, and somehow fucking nailing it.