#Sympathetic Patton
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Cause and Effect
ok this is overdone i feel but i love your writing. something abkut the effects the sides have on themselves? virgil being super anxious and logan overwhelmed and similar things? something w janus? with a good portion of hurt comofrt? love your fics!! – anon
Hi! I love your writing so so so much. I do have a request for you, if you want it: Headcanon that Remus, being responsible for intrusive thoughts, is also responsible for any earworms Thomas gets. Which, he mostly uses to his advantage. Except. He unironically likes Taylor Swift and is terrified of that information getting out because it will ruin his image/he won’t be taken seriously. – anon
I hope you’re having a good week! I was wondering if I could request a hurt/comfort fic with one of the Sides being really bad about announcing/enforcing boundaries, because “it probably means more to them than it does to me” “it’s not that bad” “I can deal with it”. Thank you for considering!! – anon
Read on Ao3
Warnings: self-esteem issues, panic attacks, anxiety attacks
Pairings: dlampr, can be platonic or romantic you decide
Word Count: 2954
Patton doesn't always remember that he has feelings, too. Logan works…a lot. Virgil lives his life looking over his shoulder. Janus has gotten so good at lying to everyone that it's a wonder he even knows what the truth is himself. Remus wears shame like a badge of honor and the sweater he just can't manage to make himself throw away. Roman is tired. The Sides struggle. The Sides help each other.
Patton doesn't always remember that he has feelings, too.
He's at the center of Thomas's feelings, of course, and that means he's feeling a lot of things that aren't necessarily his all the time. Thomas is happy, he's happy. Thomas is sad, the entire world might be ending. Thomas is angry, he has to hide everything that looks even vaguely orange because something might explode. Thomas is depressed, he finds it hard to even get out of bed.
That extends to the Sides somewhat too; all of them experience heightened emotions, a wonderful by-product of being metaphysical and in the Mindscape. So that means that anything that might happen to them will happen in greater intensity than it would in the 'real world.' But sometimes that can be a little hard to handle, especially if they aren't used to it. For Roman, it looks like being stuck at the worst part of a tragic monologue for hours, for Logan, it looks like that one question on a test that you just can't answer, for Virgil, it's the quiet and unsettling feeling of having something just over your shoulder all the time, for Janus, it's the itch that you just can't scratch, for Remus, it's the noise that's just at the wrong frequency.
It's hard, it's hard for all of them, and so Patton takes it upon himself to help them through it. He takes Roman's hands and just holds them, trying to make him see that he doesn't have to perform, not now, not with him. He sits with Logan and they just talk, about nothing, about everything, until Logan can smile just a little and everything feels better. He puts a pair of headphones on Virgil and wraps him up in a weighted blanket, leaned against his chest. He spoils Janus with a spa day until their favorite snake is too tired to do anything but sleep. And he sings with Remus, as loud and off key as they can, until that's all they can hear.
It's good. It's fun. It's worth it to take care of his kiddos. But sometimes things we say when we're hurting can make other people hurt, and it's important to take care of that too.
Sometimes Patton forgets that. Sometimes he mumbles it's okay, they didn't mean it, through his own tears. Sometimes he has to go and be by himself for a while before he can come back and face them again. Sometimes he has to just…remind himself that they're hurting, and that's what's important.
That isn't true, of course, and when the rest of them find out, it's easy to see that they love him too. They play games until their sides hurt from laughing so much, they crowd around the kitchen to bake cookies and brownies and all manner of sweet treats, they watch movies and cuddle on the couch until they all fall asleep. And when he's upset, because he gets upset too, they all come into his room and tell him how much he means to them until the curtains turn blue again.
***
Logan works…a lot.
There is something to be said for how subtle yet pervasive the concept of Logic is. On first glance, one would associate it primarily with academics, math in particular, or some such thing that is so purely intellectual that it might seem limited in its application. When in reality, when you examine it further, there is some hint of Logic in just about everything that you do, and so there is no escape from the things that you must use it for in order to do it correctly.
Logan has a lot of work. Logan has a lot of work. He has so much work, in fact, that if he stopped to think about how much work he has, he would become so daunted by the prospect of staring at such a tall hill that he would never be able to conquer it. Best to deal with things one problem at a time, take them step by step, and make sure that he doesn't stop to consider the sheer magnitude of what he's doing.
Perhaps this isn't the healthiest way to go about it. Perhaps he would be better suited to breaking down things into more manageable hills, getting over them one step at a time, that sort of thing, but he has no time for that. In the time it would take to do that, the first of the manageable hills would already have become unmanageable by the time he got back to them. So this is how it must be, working and working and working until there is a big enough pause for him to catch his breath.
The others…are not fond of this. Surely, he accounts for enough time to spend with them, but it isn't easily won. It's fraught with the thoughts of what else he could be doing, a passing worry that he's missing something egregious, that he would be better suited to getting all of his work done before allowing himself a break. But that is not the nature of resting, that is the nature of rotting, even if Logan cannot actually give himself a break.
When they find out, they drag him away from his work and into the Imagination, into a library so full of wonder and curiosity that he has no choice but to stop thinking about his work and instead, chase the things he's actually interested in. He darts from bookshelf to bookshelf, peppering the others with did you know, did you know, did you know, and nothing they could say back will be as rewarding as seeing his eyes light up with excitement for the first time in…they can't remember how long it's been.
***
Virgil lives his life looking over his shoulder.
His existence is a constant struggle of did we remember to do this, did we forget this, what if this happens, this is going to go wrong, everything's going to explode in our faces. Every time they so much as leave the house, it's a war of keeping himself together just long enough to make it back so they don't have an embarrassing meltdown in the middle of…wherever they happen to be. The grocery store, the gym, even the fucking sidewalk. It's like walking through the world where there are big flashing neon signs everywhere he turns, each warning about something else awful and terrible, and yet somehow everyone else is able to completely ignore them.
It's terrifying.
And what's worse is that he knows if he so much as breathed a word of this to any of them, they wouldn't believe him. They'd do something like laugh and say he's just freaking out over nothing—which he knows, that's not doing anything to stop it from happening in the first place—or try and rationalize it out of him. Which won't work either, because he knows he's being irrational, that's why he's so mad about it in the first place, but realizing what's happening and being able to do something about it are two different things.
Being able to get himself grounded becomes more of a necessity than anything else. This big hoodie that lets him become an amorphous blob, the heavy things in his pockets he can squeeze when the temptation to break something gets too much, the headphones and earbuds he keeps stashed everywhere with the phone charger clipped to his belt because if he can't listen to music at a moment's notice, he might actually break down in tears. He has to keep himself alert, because if something's going to go wrong, he's going to need to notice it quickly so he can get everyone else on board and safe before it wrecks the rest of their lives.
And when he manages to shove that out of his mouth in an absolute mess of words, he's greeting not with laughs and teases, but with open arms and kind words. He's bundled into Remus's arms and Roman lies on top of them as Janus chuckles, hands carding through his hair to help silence the worst of the mumblings that something's going to go wrong. Logan takes his hand and squeezes it in the rhythm for breathing exercises as Patton sings something soft under his breath.
They're all in the same room. They're all safe. They're all going to be okay.
He can do this. He can do this.
He can do this.
***
Janus has gotten so good at lying to everyone that it's a wonder he even knows what the truth is himself.
Stories need antagonists. A narrative needs something to help it wind its way around all the twists and turns to make it into something worth following. If that means that the truth needs to be a little harder to find, that something needs to go a little wrong before it can be set to rights, well, he's happy to play the part. He's happy to thrill at the surprised looks he gets from the naive little heroes, the shock and betrayal on their faces when they realize he's tricked them, to cackle as they scramble to figure out what to do next.
He's equally thrilled to watch them squirm as he pokes and prods at their comfort zones. Challenging anyone who appears to be steadfast is endlessly entertaining, after all, and he can hardly blame himself when he's rewarded with such passionate monologues or fiery outbursts that end in grudging admittance that maybe he had a point all along. He's never been one to refrain from being smug, after all, and it would be a crime to deprive people of the right to see him in all his victorious glory.
Sometimes, though, that victory feels a little hollow. When it stops being a surprise and more of a resignation, when it's no longer something that they rise to meet but hunker down to grin and bear…when he wins, trouncing them soundly, and they take it on the chin and keep moving…that's not what this is for. He's here to make all of them feel a little something, even if it starts out badly, they should be proud of themselves when they outsmart him, out-think him, even when they don't win but they come close. He's a thorn in their side, not the sword that guts them before they have so much as a chance to say anything. And there's only so much fun that can be had toying with them before it feels like he's kicking a puppy for no reason.
He makes Roman cry once. He just stands there, staring at Janus, waiting for it to be over with tears streaming down his face. And when Janus stammers that yes, he's…he's done, Roman just leaves.
He doesn't want to just be the bad guy. He doesn't want them to think he doesn't care for them. He doesn't want them to be hurt, not…not in any way that actually matters.
He takes it on the chin, as he's seen them do, but it gets harder. Walking the line between fulfilling the role he's made for himself and actually being cruel is difficult, and tensions stretch further and further until one day, he can't do it and he has to retreat to his room and spend the rest of the day puzzling about how to fix this. He's never been the one to actually offer words of comfort. He's been there to lance infections from open wounds, not stitch them back together. He doesn't know what to do. He doesn't know what to believe anymore.
Roman comes to him first. Wraps him up in a hug and ignores all his babbling in favor of dragging him to their favorite picnic spot in the imagination. Everyone takes on a different role, just for that day, where Patton is the gardener that helps the baker, Logan, Roman and Remus are the woodcutters that build the cabins, Virgil is the blacksmith and Janus—Janus is the innkeeper. They spin a new story together, one where everyone gets a happy ending.
Stories end, after all, and new ones begin.
***
Remus wears shame like a badge of honor and the sweater he just can't manage to make himself throw away.
He delights in the uncomfortable, luxuriates in the madness, and happily dances along to the songs of the worst things you could ever imagine. His side of the Imagination is chaos and ruin, twisted undergrowth giving way to dark city scapes filled with ne'er-do-wells and the filth from stories that finally get their chance to steal the spotlight. He lovingly tends to his creatures that would send fainter hearts into shock, none more so than his beloved Kraken, Oliver. Shipwrecks litter the bottom of the Imagination's oceans and he couldn't be prouder.
For Remus, chaos is a way of life. He takes the things that normal people would scoff at—just as enthusiastically as he would scoff at them for being so boring—and makes it into art. He builds machines that are needlessly complicated and endlessly horrible. He turns perfect order into perfect disorder with a gleeful squeal. He's the bane of Logan and Roman's existences—one is affectionate, the other decidedly less so—and he steps into his bear traps with a grin on his face.
There are, of course, downsides. He's alone, a lot of the time. No one else really appreciates everything he does, all the hard work that goes into turning his world into the best it can be for him. Sure, they get close sometimes, like when there's an experiment and he and Logan get to go full mad-scientist, or when he and Janus are gleefully stirring all manner of shit up for everyone else, or when he and Roman throw literally everything they can at every sort of wall just to see what might stick. But when those times are over, and he's back to being the same old, messy Remus, he gets…lonely.
Especially when there's something that would make them think he's something else.
He's got a reputation. He's supposed to be dark, twisted, messy, chaotic, that sort of thing. He's annoying, the voices in your head that you just can't get to go away, the song that won't stop playing in your head at 2 in the morning when all you want to do is go to sleep.
He can't exactly expect them to believe him when he says the songs he wants to keep playing are something like…Taylor Swift.
He's got an image to maintain! And that image doesn't go well with, y'know…something like that. He's no stranger to other people's shame, but his own…well, he might get why people hate feeling it so much.
Roman, though, is his brother, and as such gets full rights to both tease him about things and find out whatever he wants to know. And Roman is his brother, which means that he loves him unconditionally. So maybe the two of them can sing along to Taylor Swift at 3 in the morning and if Roman takes the fall for being the one obsessed with her stuff, well, that's for them to know and Janus to find out when he figures out what Roman's lying about this time.
It's fine, they'll just make him listen to 'no body, no crime.' That song's right up his alley.
***
Roman is tired.
He's just…really tired.
Being the prince, being Thomas's Hopes and Dreams, his Creativity—well, half of it—trying to keep everything afloat…it's tiring.
The others don't know this—well, Remus might—but he's the main anchor point between Thomas and the Mindscape. They're all products of Thomas's imagination, which he uses his Creativity to make and interact with, which means that…them, the Mindscape, the Imagination, it's…well, he has to spend a lot of energy to keep it the way it is.
It's tiring.
So sometimes, he doesn't have it in him to play the role. Sometimes he can't focus on staying away long enough to do all the work they want him to do on top of all the stuff they don't know he's doing. And sometimes…sometimes it's just a little bit too much.
They find him on the floor of his room one night, just watching the moon. They gather blankets and pillows and stuffed animals and build a little nest, right there around him. Remus opens the door to the Imagination to lighten a little bit of the load and Logan helps Patton coax Thomas the rest of the way to sleep, letting them shift to the dreaming mind instead.
He's so tired. Surrounded by the others, with his mind at peace, he finally gets some rest.
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#dragonbabbles#sanders sides#fic#roman sanders#remus sanders#sympathetic remus#janus sanders#deceit sanders#sympathetic deceit#logan sanders#virgil sanders#patton sanders
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A Part. Ao3
Summary:
Sure, it was only obvious that the breakup would hurt Patton. But did no one think about love itself?
Or
The others forget Roman is literally love but his bro comforts him
Notes:
First fic! Pardon me if it isn’t up to par but I wanted to get something for you out. (Also some shit happens in my real life, oh and procrastination)
Cw: oblivious/ignorant sides, slight Patton bashing, descriptions of someone looking sick, Remus comforting his bro, Roman has self deprecating thoughts.
Pairings: none!
~~~
It had been only about a week since the breakup. Not that it mattered, the others were still furious. Rightly so. It was all his fault!
The window was open, a slight drift moving the curtains. The sun was setting, casting the room in a low, orange light. The floor was littered with tissues, an overflowing trash can not too far from them.
Roman lay on the bed staring up. His prince costume had long been discarded. His skin was pale, rosy cheeks stained with tears only accentuating that. His hair was disheveled, it looked to be less saturated than before.
“Why must you ruin everything…”
A chocked sob escaped Roman. His voice was barely above a whisper, throat aching after what must have been hours of crying. He let out a shaky breath before continuing his soliloquy.
“If only you had just…Done you *job*…”
Roman turned to his nightstand. There lay a letter. A love letter. Funny wasn’t it? How the one to call Thomas all those names was the same person who called him ‘love’. It didn’t matter anymore. Roman had failed at his sole purpose. Keeping Thomas happy.
———
Remus paced around his room. Not out of anxiety or worry. Janus had prohibited him from entering the living room after he brought in a second dead body. It wasn’t his fault the first one needed a friend!
“Wonder how he’s holding up…” he thought out loud.
Remus seemed to have been the only one to notice Roman’s sudden absence. He was his brother after all, plus Roman was his favourite person to annoy! The others seemed to be too preoccupied with Patton…That bastard. ‘Oh look at me so sad! I am feelings!’ Well, Roman was passion, love for fucks’s sake! It made Remus feel weird…He didn’t like Roman…but they were still brothers.
“That’s it” and with that, Remus quickly vanished from his room.
———
It was deafeningly silent. A tear made its way down Roman’s cheek. He didn’t even bother wiping it away this time, much too tired to move. He looked sick. White hairs had started appearing on his head, all colour having been drained from his eyes. There was no point in trying.
‘At least I won’t burden them anymore’, ‘It’s better like this’, ‘I deserve this’, thoughts like these were floating in Roman’s brain. His eyes slowly closed.
“I’m so fucking sorry Thomas.”
———
Few moments passed before Remus rose up. Morning star in hand, ready to cause trouble.
“Oh Ro-Bro~ Are yo-“ Remus was cut short.
The sight of his brother made his stomach churn, something not many things were able to achieve. No, that wasn’t his brother. His brother was lively, loud, happy…this…
A loud thud was heard as the morning star fell from his hands. Rushing to his brother he sighed in relief when the faint heartbeat and slight coldness of Roman’s breath against his hand alerted Remus he was still alive. He withdrew and placed a hand on Roman’s shoulder, shaking him lightly.
“Ro-Bro, get up.” Remus’ worries came back, since Roman didn’t seem to wake.
“Come on now,” he growled, “get up you fucker!” He shook him more violently, worry slipping into his voice despite his efforts to remain calm.
Why was he even so worried? Roman was still alive after all, and he probably would wake up…oh for the love of fuck! Remus allowed tears to spill from his eyes, voice coming out in a sob as he begged Ro to wake up.
———
Roman’s eyes slowly fluttered open. It must have been morning, perhaps early mid day? Whatever, it’s not like he really cared. His eyes took a bit to adjust to the light invading the room through the curtains. He felt light, almost as if he were floating. Was this a dream?
“Hmmmgg…Ro?” A voice startled him.
Turning his head ever so slightly he was met with Remus’ gaze staring down at him. It seemed as though he had just woken up, still rubbing his eyes. Dark circles framing them, still damp from tears cheeks accompanying them. He looked so…exhausted? Roman had never seen Remus like that, let alone crying. Roman looked at him, trying to ask what was wrong but his voice betrayed him. What came out was a slight whine, barely audible.
“Oh you fucker.” Remus dipped down and hugged him.
Resting his head in the space besides Roman’s head he wrapped his hands around the prince. He felt so relieved. Roman was ok. He quickly pulled back after a groan from his twin’s lips reminded him that he was crushing him. Sitting besides him, he helped Roman sit up on the bed, making sure not to move him too quickly.
Roman felt dizzy, as if his brain was melting in his head.
“What ‘re you doin’ here…?” He slurred out.
Remus stammered, bewildered. Was he really being serious? “You’re kidding right? Roman, you haven’t come out of your room in a week, I come in and find you barely alive, and you ask me why I am here!?”
He didn’t intend on sounding angry, let alone upset, but it happened to come out that way. But was he at fault? Roman was acting like such an idiot.
Roman jolted back a bit. He looked scared. Upset. Worst of all he looked sorry. Ready to break and start apologising, saying sorry for making Remus worry, sorry for being a burden, sorry for being a failure.
Tears spilled from his eyes. They had gained back some of their colour, same with his skin and hair, but he still looked sickly. He tried to speak, but all he could muster up was a faint “s-sorry”.
No, Remus must have misheard right? He all but lunged forward and embraced Roman.
“No. Stop. Just…it’s ok, I’m here” he said as Roman started to sob into his shoulder.
“Sorry for *hic* making you…w-worry” Roman’s words came out barely audible.
“Don’t be. You did nothing wrong, hear me? Nothing.”
Remus patted his twin’s back, humming softly to soothe him. Oh dear….He didn’t like seeing his brother like this. He missed the brave, annoying, over the top Roman. As he made a mental note to give the others a piece of his mind Roman spoke up, finally having calmed down a bit.
“You’re…not mad?”
‘Might as well have driven a dagger straight through my heart’ Remus thought. “No I’m not. Just…I’m sorry, I should have noticed sooner.”
Before Roman could protest Remus continued.
“Just, listen, you’re not a failure, a screw up, whatever. Thomas will find someone new. Shit happens ok? Just cause it’s a part of your job to be love doesn’t mean anything. That’s only a part of you. A part of the amazing Roman.” Remus chuckled. “The, very sadly, lesser of the twins~”
Roman chuckled and pushed Remus off of him.
“Fucker” he said while smiling. ‘Well, what did I expect?’ Roman thought. Remus was his brother after all, and as much as he wanted he couldn’t stay mad.
Plus, the teasing was a part of him, right?
Notes:
Hope you enjoyed! Again this is my first one so sorry for the bad writing. Also for the fact that it’s short, wanted to get it out this week.
-ARedLemon :)
#sanders sides#fanfic#ao3#roman sanders#angst#roman angst#roman sanders angst#remus sanders#sympathetic remus#unsympathetic sides#unsympathetic patton#(had to add it)#my fic#my writing#first fic#ao3 link#ao3 fanfic
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*materializes into existence*
Hi :D
Inspired by your whump tss fics!
Anyway, mayhaps an idea: Whumpee is very distrustful of everyone, even after being rescued. The only person who can come close to them without them getting very tense is Caretaker. The rest of the team is... well, unsure about Whumpee at this point. Someone says something that sounds a little too much like Whumper (accidental trigger), and Caretaker is the only one who can calm Whumpee down.
Do with that what ya will.
Have fun :D
hi!! thank you so much for the support, this is an amazing idea! i think i'm going to do my heroes and villains au for this one, it's a really good fit for this particular prompt, plus, father figure janus has my WHOLE HEART he's the best caretaker.
this fic features whumpee roman, caretaker janus, and mentions of whumper patton! also, logan and virgil are there but they aren't really anything they're just chillin'. logan is just trying his best.
also the beginning kinda just offers some general exposition to the au and the dynamics so it's just short little snippets of life before the big angst bomb comes raining down.
(cw -> past parental abuse, flashbacks, panic attacks, brief physical violence)
Roman wasn't a violent dog.
But he knew why he bit.
Every night, he saw the face of his uncle, the man who raised him, the man who taught him everything about the world. And he shivered, because while he never wanted to see Patton again, he also wanted nothing more than to be enveloped in his arms one more time.
When he looked in the mirror, Roman wanted to erase himself and start over from the beginning. Permanent scars that were never going away, endless reminders of what a failure he had been. His gauntlet was the only part of him that was pristine, and even that was so out of his reach.
Janus told him that it was Patton's fault that he didn't know how to use his powers, but Roman just couldn't believe it. He was a superhero. He had to know how to use his powers no matter what. Being a kid was no excuse. Being young and impressionable was no excuse. Being starved and beaten and tortured every time he made the smallest mistake was still not an excuse.
Roman was a hero. He had to be better.
--
"Virgil, come on, how many times do I have to remind you to wipe your feet before walking in?" Logan groaned, "We're guests in this house, we should not be dirtying it."
"Sorry, Pa," Virgil mumbled, "I'll clean it up."
"Thank you," Logan said, "And have half a mind not to do it again."
Roman, who was seated on the couch as this argument occurred, squeezed his eyes shut steeling himself as he waited for the slap. Or the hit. Or a cry of pain from Virgil. But seconds passed, and there was no sound except for the spray cleaner and scrubbing the floor. The mess took all of ten seconds to clean up, if that. Roman didn't understand. When he was under punishment with Patton and had to clean floors, it felt like it took much longer.
--
Roman's face was wet with tears, but he found himself feeling scarily numb as he sat in Janus' lap, fiddling with the gemstone necklaces held loosely around his neck with common kitchen twine.
"Ro...we really need to do something about these nightmares," Janus murmured, nothing but warmth in his voice and body. Roman almost felt safe in his arms. "It's not healthy for a kid your age to be waking up screaming every night."
"I'm sorry, sir," Roman said flatly, still trapped in a hellish haze, "I'll be better. I'll do anything you want, just spare me. Please."
Janus could feel his heart shatter in two. He hugged the teenager close, starting to pet his hair gently.
"Oh, baby..." Janus whispered, "What on Earth are we gonna do with you...?"
--
"If you hate me so much, maybe you should just put me back where I came from! You didn't have to adopt me, you could have just gotten a perfect kid instead!"
It was rare for Virgil to shout, so when Roman heard it, he was shaken immediately. Out of pure self preservation, he hid himself in the blanket he had been wearing. When Logan and Virgil argued, it was difficult, and it was messy. They were both headstrong people, which often led to butting heads more than either of them, or the two people they lived with, liked.
"Virgil, don't be ridiculous, I don't hate you!" Logan retaliated, "I just want you to stop closing yourself off, it's useless to try and handle everything in the world by yourself! You're just a child, when will you get that through your head??"
"Maybe I will once you stop micromanaging me like I'm five years old!" Virgil yelled, "I'm not a baby anymore, Pa, I don't need you hovering over my shoulder! Do you know how hard it is to be known as the tattletale at school?? Do you even care?? No, you don't, because all you care about is making yourself feel helpful!"
"I could strangle you right now!"
"Fine! Do it, see if I care!"
Virgil stormed off, slamming the door to his room, causing Roman to tremble where he sat. Oh, boy. Virgil was going to get it now. Roman waited for Logan to roar, to scream at Virgil to open the door before he regretted ever raising his voice at him. The thought made Roman so nervous. Virgil was injured already. He couldn't handle being strangled too. He just couldn't.
So Roman did the heroic thing: he stepped in.
Before Logan could take another step towards Virgil's room, Roman rushed in front of him.
"Virgil didn't mean it, Virgil didn't mean that!" he insisted, his words spilling over each other.
"Were you listening in to our conversation?" Logan sputtered, his face turning a bit red, "Wh- why would you do that? That was between me and Virgil, it has nothing to do with you!"
Logan side-stepped Roman, coming closer to Virgil's room. In a panic, Roman lunged at Logan, hoping to protect Virgil from any sort of wrath.
"Get off me!" Logan exclaimed, "Roman, what are you doing??"
"Stay away from him!" Roman begged as he punched and kicked blindly, thinking of nothing except weakening Logan, protecting Virgil. Weakening Logan, protecting Virgil. It was his responsibility. "He's still healing!"
"Roman, stop!" Logan pleaded, "Please, stop it, you're hurting me!"
Roman was much younger than Logan. But he wasn't that much weaker. He was a young hero, having trained his entire life to fight people, while Logan was just a civilian. No superpowers, no training. He was a bit fragile, in fact. So it wasn't a surprise that Roman was "winning" this exchange, but the child was too blinded by panic to realize this.
"Don't touch Virgil!" Roman begged, "Don't, please, he can't handle it! He can't handle that, he's good, he's good, he'll be good!"
"Janus!" Logan started to scream, thrashing to get away from Roman, "Janus, help me!"
And just then, Roman's entire world seemed to stop.
Logan's begging and crying for help sounded so much like his own. The way his words would bounce against the wall, hitting nobody as he was forced to endure hours of torture in solitary confinement, no sound to keep him company except for his own fruitless pleading. Logan already sounded so defeated. He sounded like he was ready to die. Just like Roman had been all those times before.
Roman's breathing grew shallow and stuttered, and the second he loosened his grip, Logan scrambled out of Roman's arms, shoving him hard. As Janus raced into the room, he saw his child hyperventilating, and Logan with a scratched up face and broken glasses.
"What- what on Earth happened here?" Janus demanded, "Logan, what did you do??"
"What did I do?" Logan repeated, "Why are you asking me that?? Roman's the one that attacked me, he tried to kill me!"
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry- I'm sorry-!" Roman whispered, starting to grip his own hair as he curled in on himself.
"He's a little monster!"
Roman's shallow breathing turned into desperate gasps as he wheezed irregularly, his chest rising and falling largely.
"There's ice in the freezer, I'm so sorry, Lo. I'm so sorry. I should have warned you- I'll pay for your glasses."
"No need," Logan said coldly, "I need some space, if you don't mind. I'm getting tired of being attacked from all sides."
Janus opened his mouth to say something to Logan as the angry man left, but he was distracted by the sound of Roman's fight for air. When Janus looked over, the child had tears streaming down his face, his eyes large and wild, as if he was a wounded animal.
"Darling...come here," Janus whispered sitting on the floor in front of Roman and starting to pull him close.
"No, please," Roman whispered, "Please don't hurt me. I'm sorry- I didn't mean to- I- I-"
"Shh...shh, Roman, don't speak," Janus murmured, hugging Roman gently. "Breathe. I understand. I understand you. I do."
Janus saw so much of himself in those terrified brown eyes. Roman just wanted to protect somebody, and it had gone way too far. What was the poor kid to do? Of course, he had to apologize to Logan. But that would have to be at another time.
Roman shuddered, and before he could overthink anymore, he threw himself into Janus' arms, sobbing vehemently into his shoulder. Guilt washed over him like waves, and he almost wished that Patton was around to punish him. It was what he deserved for attacking somebody weaker than him. In that regard, was Roman really any different from Patton?
"I'm bad," Roman mumbled, "I'm bad, I'm a villain- I'm horrible-..."
"Shh," Janus repeated, rubbing gentle circles onto Roman's back, "Shh, darling. You're not bad. You're not a villain. You're a child. You're a child who's scared. Let yourself be scared. I'm here for you. I'm going to protect you, sweet thing. I promise."
"But what about Logan?" Roman asked, staring up at Janus with tear-stained cheeks and round eyes that broke Janus' heart.
"Logan will be okay, darling," Janus reassured, "He will be. I'm going to help him, and I'll take him to the doctor's, and I'll make sure he's doing okay. He'll understand. He will. He's got to."
"I don't know why I did that," Roman whimpered, "I don't know why I kept going, I could have stopped, he cried for help, I could have stopped!"
"I know, baby, I know," Janus soothed, "I know how it feels. I know. You made a mistake. You messed up. But you're not in trouble. You're not going to get hurt because you hurt someone else. What's the use of that? Then, everybody is hurt, and nobody is happy. Does that make sense?
"I- I- I guess so," Roman whispered, "But- Logan hates me. He hates me now, he hates me, he thinks I'm a monster-"
"He does not think that," Janus said calmly, "He was speaking while he was angry. Think about it. Do you say what you mean when you're angry? Does anybody?"
Roman shuddered. Patton did. But he didn't say so.
"It'll be okay, sweetie," Janus reassured, continuing to hold Roman as he rocked the teenager gently on the carpeted floor. "It's okay."
Janus used to be a violent dog too.
He understood why Roman bit.
#sanders sides#tss#thomas sanders#whump writing#whump community#roman sanders#sanders sides fanfic#sanders sides fanfiction#sanders sides fic#tss roman#janus sanders#tss janus#sympathetic janus#tss whumper writing#tss whumper requests#tss heroes and villains au#caretaker janus#whumpee roman#whumper patton
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Alone? Not Anymore
Logan is belittled, ignored, and discarded by the light sides, but until Janus and Remus help him find a new side of himself he didn’t think there was anything he could do about it. They help him make a very difficult choice suddenly very easy.
#thomas sanders#roman sanders#remus sanders#ts logan#ts sides#janus sanders#ts roman#ts remus#logan sanders#patton sanders#ts patton#virgil sanders#ts virgil#the orange side#Logan is the orange side#unsympathetic patton#unsympathetic Roman#sympathetic remus#sympathetic deceit#intruloceit#referenced past Virgil x Janus x Remus#Remus x Janus x Logan
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I do not care how the movie ended, in my headcanon, Mavis gets some help, moves back to Mercury (she'll probably have to with the book series ending and her being out of a job), and ends up with Matt. They are perfect for each other I'm sorry.
#mavis gary#matt freehauf#comfort movies#young adult 2011#charlize theron#patton oswalt#diablo cody#you just know she probably drunk dialed him a bunch after getting back to minneapolis#i'd write a fanfic about it if i thought literally anyone would read it#mavis was a terrible person but charlize made her sympathetic#and buddy was kind of a dick too when you really think about it#matt was there for her but he was never afraid to call her out on her bs#she needs someone like that in her life
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just some mommies for the HS AU
#analogical#logan sanders#remus sanders#virgil sanders#patton sanders#roman sanders#sander sides#thomas sanders#emile picani#intruality#janus sanders#roceit#sleep sanders#sympathetic deceit#sympathetic remus#tw deciet#tw remus#highschool au#my art#remy sanders
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Patton Sanders Sides' Head-canons
~
Patton loves whenever the other sides play with his hair! When Virgil is ever feeling a little antsy he would let him make small messy braids🥰
Add on to the first- After he would leave the braids in, wanting to cherish the master piece a bit longer
When patton puts an object down he tends to give it a gentle pat
One of Patton's love languages is touch, one day the other sides started noticing the small touches he does. Poke on a cheek, shoulder nudges, and fixing a wild hair strand
Whenever, Roman or Remus needed to practice their makeup skills they knew they could rely on Patton to be such a good sport. Even if it ended with some horrific creations especially from Remus😭 (But anything for those Kiddos)
During Janus' more stressed filled nights, Patton would drag him to the living (Luring him in with his favorite wine, making Hot chocolate for himself) then throwing on a Disney film.
#patton sanders#sanders sides#sanders sides headcanon#sympathetic dark sides#sympathetic deceit#sympathetic remus#roman sanders#logan sanders#virgil sanders
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The Rumor Mill Game (pt5)
Long time, no see. :) If you’ve forgotten what’s going on, you can find the previous chapter [here!] Or if you’re new to this, find the start [here!]
Summary: Office coworkers Logan and Remus have created the rumor that they are married and have a son, except that Logan kinda yelled that he didn’t have a son in front of a bunch of people.
Virgil is well....Virgil is going to change that. And he definitely has the blackmail to do it.
Word Count: 8346
Read on Ao3 || My General Writing Masterlist
Okay. So. It wasn’t like when Logan and Remus showed up at the restaurant, Virgil expected Logan to want to adopt him. For one thing, Virgil had parents. For another, Logan had never once shown even a remote interest in having a hand in the responsibility of keeping another, living, breathing being alive.
Virgil knew that. He prompted Logan once about it-- because Virgil at his core was a fucking masochist who needed to have his heart ripped out and stomped on sometimes just to prove he knew what life was like. There had been some stupid math homework that he had guilted Logan into helping him with during Logan’s lunch break (like the man wanted to be doing calculus while out eating-- he was a fucking accountant; he already did this all day for his job), and the problem had involved dogs, so Virgil had made up some stupid idiotic story about once owning a dog just to see if maybe Logan might have like a hundred dogs at home and oh yeah, what difference is a child compared to that, right? At least, you know how to feed yourself and can be trusted outside without a leash, sure I’ll take you in, Virgil! Do you want to call me Dad?
Yeah. And somehow Virgil was still failing his creative writing class-- he didn’t understand it either.
Logan didn’t have dogs at home. Or cats. Virgil was pretty sure he didn’t even have dust bunnies.
And Virgil of all people knew what type of burden children could be. You had to give them time and money and entertainment and if you didn’t then everyone would call you a terrible person! Once you had a kid, you really never had time to yourself to do things you liked to do because a kid was always in the way! How many times had Virgil’s mother reminded him that he was preventing her from enjoying her weekend after she spent all week working her tireless jobs and making him food and keeping the house? How many times had his father answered the door and started swearing because he forgot it was his week and he invited his girlfriend over and she didn’t know Virgil existed so Virgil was either going to spend the whole night in his room pretending to be a piece of furniture or his dad was going to have to cancel?
Virgil was a commitment! He knew it! He was another mouth to feed, his growth spurts just kept happening--he’ll never forget the fury on his mother’s face when she found out he outgrew the shoes she got him for Christmas by late January-- not to mention school fees. School lunch? More like School sit-in-the-library-and-tell-the-librarians-he’s-just-not-hungry. His personal finance class was his own living nightmare because he got to listen to every other kid in the entire class complain about how dumb it is that everything cost money, like bread hadn't always cost at least three dollars. There was a girl named Sally who told the teacher that she’d just show her boobs to the checkout clerk to get it for free so that she could keep up with her fictional mani pedi appointment, after the teacher told her she couldn’t just call her dad and ask for more money.
Virgil scored a perfect A on that assignment, if anyone was wondering. The teacher pulled him back after class to ask him if he was interested in going to a seminar outside of class time for the Next Business Owners of America(™) since he was meticulous with his number crunching. Virgil would have loved to, if it hadn’t been three hours away, pay-for-your-own-food, and hey, how about you bring your parents along? I’d love to meet them and let them know what a great son they’re raising!
Virgil had said he wasn’t interested. His teacher had insisted he’d take a flyer anyway, and now it was stuffed in the bottom of his backpack like a forty ton weight he was lugging around everywhere just to see if it really did get heavier as the day in question approached.
((There was still a week left for reservations. There was still a week left for reservations and Virgil was still very certain that if he did go and he didn’t tell his parents, neither of them would notice he’d gone missing and they would never remember him again and then where would he be?))
So yeah, Virgil was a commitment. Any child was a commitment. Basically a blackhole of money. Any self respecting, successful adult could probably take one look at him and think setting a couple hundred dollar bills on fire is less expensive and more eco friendly than trying to take in a teenager.
Logan probably had thought that, too. Virgil wouldn’t blame him for that.
He just… expected it to hurt a little less. But well. Logan had always been straightforward and it doesn’t get more straightforward than “HE IS NOT AND WON'T EVER BE OUR CHILD”.
Virgil liked that Logan was straightforward. He didn’t have to guess through passive aggressive comments or backhanded compliments to figure out what was being said when Logan was talking.
And really it hadn’t even been anything new being said there. Virgil got to stand there and not cry and very calmly ask Logan and Remus to step outside because they were upsetting the other patrons. Yep totally. Just the other patrons. Not Virgil because Virgil had never been their kid and he had his own parents and there were other kids with less who needed more and he hadn’t been going to mention the flyer or seminar to Logan so it didn’t even feel like the kick to the teeth that it should have been.
But if Virgil’s manager was going to give him a paid break to go stand outside and with a free soda and some mango sticky rice the man made him specifically, then Virgil was going to take it and enjoy it and definitely not cry or text Janus about. In fact he took it and he sat out back and wondered how on earth Remus landed a guy like Logan.
Because Logan was cool. He was smart, pleasant and polite and patient and other words that started with “P”. Virgil had seen Remus a handful of times-- just the few that he’d been desperate enough to get out of his mother’s house but didn’t have money for food-- but those times had been enough for Virgil to get a very super good fucking grasp on who Remus Prince was.
He was loud to Logan’s calm, eye-catching to Logan’s plainness, obnoxious to Logan’s civility. Even when Virgil had watched them walk in together, hands together, ring present it felt like someone grabbed the rug from under him and tugged.
Because-- and Virgil meant this from the bottom of his heart-- Remus was a fucking nightmare demon from hell. There were a lot of people who scared Virgil to no end, but Remus? Remus was on a whole other level.
Remus was The Adult(™) that Virgil avoided like the plague, that Virgil memorized the schedule for when he would be at the food kitchen for, that Virgil laid awake at night running scenarios about because Remus would be the only stupid asshole brave enough to blatantly ask The Question.
Because Remus remembered Virgil’s face, remembered what he looked like, what he wore, and where he liked to sit away from everyone else. Remus remembered Virgil like he wanted to when not even Virgil’s parents wanted to remember him.
Because there wasn’t a shadow dark enough for Virgil to hide in that would keep Remus from seeing him, and Virgil didn’t know a single thing that could keep him from asking hey, is everything okay at home?
No it’s not. Thanks for asking. And hey, I know you’re a mandatory reporter, so pretty please don’t call social services because Virgil cannot think of anything worse than being picked up out of everything he’d struggled to build here and plopped into the hands of someone who would insist they knew how to live his life better.
He didn’t want a family that would see him as just another meal ticket: free money from the government to take in the kid who was too anxious to sleep at night sometimes. Even thinking about the bad families-- the die hard religious people who would call him a sin if they knew he was gay, the abusers that might see him as a free punching back that spit out money sometimes, the too-nice,-but too-many-other-kids-to-worry-about-him couple that might only take him in out of guilt and pity-- made Virgil’s heart beat so hard he could barely breathe.
But what was worse was thinking about the good families. You know, the ones that most of the kids at school went home to? A mother who would insist that he wear brighter colors and eat all his vegetables and join every after school program because it looked good on a resume? A father who would insist that he apply to Harvard and Yale and take summer internships across the country or do hard labor outside because it built character? The ones who would say to him hey, you don’t need that job anymore so just go ahead and quit and we’ll supply everything you could possibly want and you better hope you don’t disappoint us like your first set of parents because then we’ll have the power to take it all away!
Logan… Logan was a safe daydream, okay? He was just a quiet guy who came in for Thai sometimes and ate by himself, tipped nicely, and didn’t try to send his food back because it was “too orange”. He was reasonable and knew when to stop asking questions and he probably wouldn’t care if Virgil kept his job and or if he kept wearing black and didn’t try to apply to schools that would probably eat him alive. Logan smiled at him, and helped with Virgil’s homework, and maybe if Logan hadn’t wanted to be the center of Virgil’s very pitiful stupid, secret wishes, he shouldn’t have been the first person to tell Virgil “good job” since Virgil had been eight.
“Fuck,” Virgil said, shoving another spoonful of mango rice into his mouth.
“Oh, please, do keep catastrophizing in my front seat,” Janus said in his stupid ass rich person tone. “I’m certain that will solve all your problems.”
“Shut the fuck up,” Virgil snapped back at him.
Janus stretched back in the driver's seat, hands above his head, folded neatly with those black biker gloves on still, and his shirt riding up his stomach in the way that makes Virgil kinda hate him. He had his eyes closed for the most part of it all; still content to sunbathe in the front seat as he had been doing for the better part of an hour now, but he opened the right just to side eye Virgil in that unbothered way of his that speaks to how amusing he found watching Virgil self destruct to be.
“Darling--” He said.
“Don’t,” Virgil jabbed his plastic spoon towards him threateningly. “Don’t start with me.”
“I wouldn’t dream of it,” Janus said. “Only merely ending what has been a truly delightful date with my very wonderful boyfriend who is certainly not-at-all distracted by a problem he has made up in his beautiful amazing brain.”
“Shut up.”
“I’ve known Logan since I was in diapers, Virgil,” Janus says. “He’s almost like a second father to me. You are worrying over nothing.”
“It’s not nothing!” Virgil said shrilly.
And that is when Janus finally dropped his arms back down and twisted to face Virgil completely. His eyes, which normally were filled with mischief and spite, were floating with a sincerity that made Virgil’s stomach do flips. The freckles on his face were just barely noticeable, the shine of his lipgloss still freshly applied and waiting to be ruined. His dark hair was highlighted with gold stripes, which Virgil knew from experience looked very dashing when hands were run though it.
“Virgil,” Janus said, soft and kind and knowing. “My own father wouldn’t hesitate if you asked him. And you know that there would be a room in my house painted purple with your own kitchen and fridge by three hours after you asked him.”
“Your father plays mind games,” Virgil said weakly.
“Are you still obsessed with the swear jar?”
“I’m not obsessed!” Virgil shot back. “It freaks me out, okay? The whole swear jar being a place that you both put money so that you have funds to pay for something if you didn’t want him knowing you were paying for? That’s like John Kramer levels of jigsaw puzzles. I can’t handle that on a daily basis! My heart would just fucking stop!”
“My father does not have any intentions of testing your will to live,” Janus said flatly. “Or whatever it is that happens in the Saw movies. He runs a company that’s sole goal is to make lives easier and more affordable. When he turns fifty he plans on giving the whole company to me, and then I will wait exactly one week before selling half the shares to you for a dollar and then you can handle all the gross business stuff and I will handle the very funny human complaints.”
“You don’t know that.”
“I do, actually,” Janus said. “He has it written in his main diary that’s stashed behind the headboard that he’s going to give it to me when he’s sixty, but the secret one he doesn’t think I’ve found yet that is stashed in the false wall behind the washer says fifty. Also the second secret one in the false bottom puzzle box drawer in his office says fifty too.”
Virgil stared at him, waiting a whole beat, but Janus merely raised an eyebrow.
“You understand that’s not normal shit, right?” Virgil asked him. “You understand that your father and you are the most insane people I’ve met, right? Why does he have three diaries? Why are two of them secret? Why do you know there are two secret ones?”
Janus frowned. “There’s three, but the third one is just all about how much he loves me and his billions of lists of things to get for me for my birthday every year. Sometimes I add ridiculous stuff to the list in his handwriting to see if he’ll get me it. That’s how I got my snake.”
“Unbelievable,” Virgil said, staring at him. Part of him was utterly terrified of Janus, of how casually he could say things like that, of how Virgil is pretty sure Janus had the means and the ability to hide his body if Janus decided one day Virgil was annoying him too much, but the larger part of him is just overwhelmed with an embarrassing amount of awe and love.
Something about that must have shown on his face because Janus’s eyes melted like ice cream and his lips curled into a smile that could have coaxed flowers to bloom if their car was parked in a meadow instead of a parking garage.
“I love you too,” Janus said. “Now will you please go into the building and blackmail Logan into being your pretend dad so I can have all my boyfriend’s attention during our dates?”
“Asshole,” Virgil said, leaning over the center console to catch him in a kiss.
Janus hummed enthusiastically, as if he’d been waiting for Virgil to do that all day. Virgil did his best to not roll his eyes.
Janus pulled back first, licking his lips as if to make sure the last of his cherry lip gloss had been cleaned up so that he could apply another coat once Virgil was out of his sight, and finding it satisfactory. “I’m going to eat the rest of your mango rice.”
Virgil handed him the little container, half eaten and not enjoyed quite as much as it should have been due to impending doom. Janus, who was rich enough to have his own plastic spoon, still used Virgil’s. Virgil grabbed the handle of the plastic bag for the other two carry out containers and pulled it into his lap.
“I’m going to get arrested.”
Janus waved a hand. “Get out of my car, Virgil. You can mope when you get back.”
“Pay my bail?”
Janus smiled at him, soft and sunny and causing all the sickening, disgusting butterflies in his stomach to flutter around. Virgil wasn’t sure why, considering he’d also watched Janus eat pavement at the skateboarding park once late at night, and then cry like a baby about it, and then demand that Virgil tell no one about it.
“Always,” Janus said, like he meant it, like he was making a promise, like he loved Virgil and wanted what was best for him even when Virgil didn’t have a single thing to give him in return.
He didn’t realize that he had a stupid smile on his face until he was ten feet from the car holding the bag of take out to his chest like some middle schooler who just got asked out by her crush. He swears at nothing, because of course Janus could draw this sort of reaction out of him over fucking bail money, what the hell. There was nothing romantic about bail money. There wasn’t anything romantic about Janus.
The same way there wasn’t anything nerve wracking about Patton Hart, or terrifying about Remus Prince, or fatherly about Logan Ackroyd.
He nearly tripped and face planted trying to walk into the lobby. His shoe caught on the tile floor and his balance went sideways and his heart jumped out of his throat into his mouth and nearly onto the floor with the mango rice he had just eaten.
There were about ten people wondering in the lobby, doing various tasks: three people in business suits discussing lunch plans, a janitor mopping up an area with cautious signs around it, two people waiting for one of the three elevators, two people at the front desk and a receptionist who was talking to a delivery man from a pizza place across town. And Virgil was pretty sure all of them saw him almost lay himself out on the floor.
It was fine. It was totally fine! If they asked what was wrong with him he would say something like Oh I haven’t possessed a human in at least a century or You guys didn’t see that rat? It was huge! or my plan was to lie my way up to the upper floors but I figured that I might as well give up and let you arrest me now. Do you want to call security or just hand me the phone and I’ll do it myself?
He hesitated on his feet for a moment, wondering if he could get away with going straight into the elevators even though he knows they require a keycard. Janus told him that much in their run throughs while preparing for this. But still the fluttering hopeful part of him was wishing that security risks weren’t a thing and he could just… walk upstairs.
Instead he steeled himself and headed in a direct line towards the receptionist’s desk. All he had to do was convince her to give him a visitor’s badge and let him go upstairs without calling either Logan or Remus who would definitely tell her they don’t have a son.
He was honestly already so lucky they hadn’t announced to the whole building via company-wide email that they didn’t have a child at all. Although the longer he hesitated the more of a chance there was that one or both of them were writing that email right now.
The receptionist nodded to him when he stalled his walk a few paces away from the desk, but continued her discussion with the delivery man. Instead the man and the woman lingering to the side had their eyes on him, watching with opening curious expressions that made Virgil want to hiss at them the way he hissed at the workers in the food bank-kitchen that he visited on weeks when his mother couldn’t be bothered to keep food in the house or his father had forgotten to leave him enough money to buy himself a pizza while he went out on another date.
You know. Before Remus had hissed right back at him and Virgil had realized oh shit, that guy remembered him and this was going to be a problem.
“Watcha doing here, kid?” the guy at the desk asked, taking a sip of his coffee. He was closer than the woman, with a crooked tie and a salt-and-pepper beard that made him look old instead of distinguished or whatever he was trying for.
“I’m looking for my dads,” Virgil said and holy shit this was a bad decision. “Lo-Logan Ackroyd, and Remus P-Prince.” He swallowed nervously, digging his fingers into the boxes of take out and trying hard not to let his spine fold like a chocolate éclair.
The man chokes, nearly spitting up his coffee all over his tie. “No way! You’re the kid?”
“Jeff!” The lady with the frizzy hair hissed.
“What!” Jeff exclaimed. “You heard what Logan said!” The man turned back to Virgil and Virgil forced himself not to take a step back or sprint for Janus’s car or melt into a puddle of human goo or start crying. “Man, that guy really is an unfeeling robot. How old are you? Fifteen? Sixteen?”
“Jeff!” The woman yelled. “I’m sorry, sweetheart; don’t mind him.”
“I’m seventeen?” Virgil said. “And it’s.. uh.” He swallowed, glancing at the receptionist who still looked to be deep in the conversation with the delivery man. “It’s-- it’s okay. I know what it sounded like yesterday. It wasn’t exactly… uh… Logan and Remus aren’t my parents!”
The man and the woman were looking at him now, with twin gazes just short of being hungry. Virgil felt distinctly like he’d just jumped into a lake full of piranhas and kindly asked them not to eat him alive, please and thanks. He took a deep breath, trying to untense his shoulders.
What had Janus said? It was like tearing off a bandaid?
“I’m adopted! But my parents, like the real ones, are still around. They just don’t have custody, you know? Logan and Remus do, because they are good people! Totally good people who probab--I mean definitely haven’t committed unspeakable crimes or anything of the like that could be proven in the court of law! But like yesterday, haha, I mean things haven’t always been easy because like, I’m kinda difficult and I don’t call them dad or anything because I have a dad already who is not Logan and I told Logan I didn’t want to call him dad and so he doesn’t really call me son and definitely not his son, you know? He really didn’t mean it like how it sounded because he’s cool and haha, yeah isn’t that like a horrible coincidence that it sounded bad? But he’s-- Logan I mean-- is really good! Really nice and helps me with my math homework. A really, uhm. He’s a good guy. You know?”
The receptionist was looking at him now, too. And so was the delivery man, their conversation entirely forgotten.
Virgil swallowed like he was drowning, wishing that he could shut up because there was no way these all competent adults were going to buy that horrible, terrible story that wasn’t even really a story as much as just a bunch of gibberish tossed out with Logan’s name in it. It was like he hadn’t even practiced with Janus at all. He barely even got a foot in the door before he just started talking! Did these people even know Logan? Or did he just spit out a fake life story to some random people in the company lobby and would absolutely never be able to show his face here again?
“On second thought, I’ll just go,” Virgil rasped out, and turned on his heel, preparing to bolt for the doors before security could be called for the random kid who just tried to buy his way into a company HQ building with cold Thai food and a fake story about fake parents who would never even want to consider being real parents. Would they charge him with espionage for that? Could they? Is there even bail for espionage accounts?!
“Oh no no no!” The woman exclaimed suddenly, putting her coffee directly on the receptionist counter. “Oh honey, I am so sorry! Of course Logan is a good da-fathe-- I mean a good guardian! Jeff and I didn’t mean to make you think we didn’t know that!”
“Did I say unfeeling?” The man said, laughing nervously and tugging at the collar of his shirt. “I meant unrelenting! An unrelenting robot who has nothing but… love… in his…uh heart. Hey, do you think that maybe you could not bring up this conversation to him? I like my job.”
Virgil couldn’t breathe. Like actually could fucking not. He was going to have to sit down because there was no way that should have worked at all. The woman and the man were doing a piss-poor job of having a subtle conversation under their breaths about which of them was going to get fired as if Virgil actually did have sway with Logan and Remus. The relief was so overwhelming it was terrifying.
Shit, is this what Janus felt every time he made up a lie? If so, Virgil might be able to understand it. He doubted straight ecstasy would come close to this feeling.
The take out boxes creaked in his sweaty, clammy hands as the woman turned back towards Virgil with a too-bright, too-wide smile, that reminded him of his mother when she was on the phone with his teachers who called to let her know that he was failing the class: placating and fake and screaming that she completely believed him and was not even going to bother asking for the other parties side of the story.
“Why don’t we get you upstairs, honey?” she said. “Candy will get you your own personal badge and then you won’t even have to stop around here and talk to us silly old people. Candy?”
“Uh, yeah,” The receptionist said. “I’ll get it to Mr. Ackroyd by the end of the day tomorrow.”
The other woman smiled at him and started guiding him towards the elevators, her badge dangling in her hand. “I’m sure your dads are expecting you, right?”
“It’s a uh…surprise, actually,” Virgil stuttered. “Big surprise.”
“Oh that’s lovely! What a thoughtful son!”
Yep, Virgil thought, swallowing back the urge to vomit all over her knockoff Christian Louboutin pumps (and the fact that Virgil knew they’re knockoffs is equally nauseating, damnit Janus). The thought, though, just for that moment, gave Virgil something to focus on (Janus’s stupid face, the taste of his lipgloss, “I’ll pay your bail.”). He clung to his take out boxes, and stood at least three feet away from the woman, and tried not to feel like he just entered the elevator to hell when the doors slowly rolled shut.
The woman might be talking to him, chatting with her pleasant and polite voice that does nothing to actually put Virgil at ease. Janus probably would be in his fucking element right here, probably soften her up further with a few on-the-spot made up stories that make him out to be a humble yet high achieving son (only half lies: Janus was high achieving, but the day he acted humble about anything would be the day that Virgil did stand up comedy for the whole school during his lunch block). Still that sort of thing would make Logan and Remus look really good, right?
Virgil should be saying something. He should tell her that he loves his parents and that they are the perfect family and Logan and Remus don’t have a 90% chance of responding “who?” when this woman tries to say he’s their son. He shouldn’t be standing ramrod still in the elevator, holding take out food so close to himself it might look as if he’s trying to wear it, or breathing so loud that people in the lobby could still hear him, what the fuck is wrong with him--
“Hey hun,” the woman said. “I don’t think I caught your name, now. What was that again?”
Virgil swallowed hard, forcing his tongue to unstick from the roof of his mouth. “Uh… Virgil. My name is Virgil.”
Why did that sound like he was making it up? That wasn’t even a lie! His name was Virgil! Unless it wasn’t? Would he have even known if Virgil wasn’t the name his parents-- real parents-- had given him?
“Virgil,” she repeated pleasantly. “That’s a wonderful name.”
“Yep, it’s mine. Totally mine. Why wouldn’t it be mine?”
Her eyebrows creased in confusion and Virgil debated slamming his head against the reflective metal doors. Before he could get to the part where he follows through on that one, the elevator diiiiinged! And the floor settled to a stop.
“Oh wonderful,” the woman said. “Now would you like to visit Remus first or Logan? Logan has his own office but Remus has a cubical nearby if you want.”
Virgil honestly hadn’t thought he would get this far. He’d been half convinced that Remus would just be… in the lobby, ready to discount his lies, or Logan would be in the parking lot ready to ask him who exactly he was because surely a random restaurant worker wasn’t worth remembering, or Janus would be telling him that he was an idiot and embarrassing and why are we even dating again?
He opened his mouth but no words were coming out, certainly not ones that would make any of this better than the dumpster fire it was already.
“Jen,” A voice said from nearby. Virgil almost jumped right out of his skin, but it turned out just to be another worker in the office: dyed orange hair and an infinity scarf and hiding behind a stack of files almost as tall as they were. They were looking at Virgil though with a nervous expression as if they thought Virgil was the herald of the workplace firing squad or the next round of interns that would eventually take their job. “Uh, who is your… uhm…?”
“Quin,” the woman said warmly, as if she had been just as put off by Virgil’s lack of response as he himself had been. “This is Virgil. You know, Remus and Logan’s son that they talk about all the time? He brought them a surprise lunch! Isn’t that sweet?”
Ah fuck, they talk about having a son?! Did Logan and Remus actually have a son?! Did Janus just forget to tell him about that?!
Janus, what the fuck?!
The new person’s eyes widened as they took in Virgil’s appearance, which was very much out of place in the entire building. He’d worn his jeans with the least amount of holes in them but his only pair of shoes at the moment were these converse and he’d scribbled black sharpie on them out of boredom in his history class last year. He didn’t exactly look anything like someone who lived with Logan might, considering Virgil had never seen Logan not wearing a business suit, but this was the best outfit he could come up with from his closet.
“Uh yeah, totally. Uhm.” The person said nervously and then leaned in close to the woman and whispered, as if Virgil wouldn’t be able to hear them at all, “Uh, didn’t Logan…uhm… say….?”
The woman laughed painfully in a way that made Virgil wonder what exactly they had all done when under the impression that Logan was an asshole who didn’t love his son (a son he didn’t have because Virgil was not his son and even if Virgil was he wouldn’t blame Logan for not wanting him).
“Oh it was just a misunderstanding! Virgil told Jeff and I about it downstairs. We can have lunch together today and I’ll tell you all about it!”
Virgil frowned slightly, because well… he didn’t exactly mind that people would be talking about it-- that was part of the whole plan anyway, to have people talk about-- but something in him was insulted that it would be shared so blaise. Like, didn’t his homelife situation feel even an ounce personal or private? This woman was just going… to talk about him… and Logan… and Remus…and their private, totally real family business over lunch like she knew everything about it and had the right and authority to disclose that information?
For a second, Virgil was half tempted to tell her that he was also royalty of a distance country and that it was super secret because there were people who would kill to know his whereabouts and they could be anyone, ma’am, and they could be anywhere and now that you know they’ll definitely come after you too. Did you know the last person whom I told, went missing within ten hours and the police are still finding body parts of them around the city?… Anyway, have fun sleeping tonight. Fucker.
“Quin!” A familiar voice yelled from around the corner, causing the person in front of Virgil to leap into the air almost a whole foot. The files they were carrying nearly took flight, but Virgil couldn’t bring himself to worry about them when he was busy watching a rolling chair skid out from a cubicle and bring him face-to-face with Remus Prince.
If hearing Logan say Virgil would never been his son was bad on Virgil, it looked like it had been absolute hell on Remus: the guy didn’t really advertise mental stability on a regular day, but now there were bags under his eyes, what looked like an actual rats nest in his hair, and his shirt was on both backwards and stained that spoke either of having never known what a washing machine was or he killed someone in his cubicle.
Whatever had gone down after Virgil (calmly, not crying, not hurt) asked them to leave must have been bad, if it got the guy who barely knew him to look like he’d been playing matador to eighteen wheelers on the highway.
Virgil knew the exact moment that Remus recognized (remembered, knew) him, too, even though his stupid monkey instinct brain had been shrieking that if he stood still Remus wouldn’t have been able to see him at all.
“Virgil,” Remus said, running a hand through his hair as if to pluck out whatever creature was in it and offer it to him as a greeting. His eyes darted towards the other adults around him with curiosity, as he stood up and kicked his chair behind him back into a cubicle. “What…are ya doing here, kid?”
“Uh, lunch?” Virgil says, surprisingly calm for someone whose brain was nothing but static and swears and scream-sobbing.
Remus stared at the bag in Virgil’s hands, and then up at him and then back at the bag. Virgil wondered for a moment if he had mixed up the plastic bags in Janus’s cars, accidentally grabbing the bag of live, feral squirrels instead of the takeout.
“Lunch,” Remus echoed. “For me?”
Virgil didn’t blame him for being suspicious. Virgil had never come close to acting comfortable in Remus’s presence and he knew it. Remus took whatever Virgil threw at him (hisses, sharp barbed words, the worst soda combinations Virgil could think of) and acted complete unphased, like Virgil was acting normal, like there was nothing wrong with him, like he enjoyed Virgil’s weird attempts at scaring him off.
Virgil took a deep breath and then set his jaw. “Yeah. You. And Logan. Like a family lunch. You. Me. Logan. I thought it would be nice. To talk. And stuff. As a family.”
“Family!” Another other woman from the cubicle behind Remus squealed. And then seemed to realize the attention had landed on her. “Oh sorry! Just pretend I’m not here!”
“Gladly,” Virgil said. He swore he saw Remus’s lips flicker into a wicked grin at the sound, but it was gone in another moment. Fast enough to give whiplash and remind Virgil why exactly Remus was nearly as terrifying as Patton Hart in terms of mind-fuckery shenanigans.
“Anyway,” Virgil said, forcing himself to look at Remus in the eye and challenging him to cut in. “I know that Lo was beating himself up about everything that happened, even though I told him it was… fine and that we talked everything out last night. I was worried about what your coworkers might be saying, even though it's none of their business, and you guys are really fucking good parents.”
Remus smiled, and then he laughed, and part of Virgil thought that he was definitely calling Virgil’s bluff and security at the same time. But instead the man reached out and ruffled Virgil’s hair the same way his real father hadn’t done in ten years. It was so jarring and sudden that Virgil just stood there and took it and definitely did not have to swallow back the sudden urge to cry.
“You are absolutely going to get me killed by Logan,” Remus said, low enough that it was probably just meant for Virgil. “Hey, LOGAN! DARLING, LOVE OF MY LIFE--!”
A door down the narrow hall swung over, nearly so sharp that it dented the inner wall and Logan stuck his head out “Remus, I swear to Newton you better have--Virgil?”
The man jerked forward, although he looked a bit more like he would have loved to slam the door closed again. His glasses had fingerprints on the lenses, and his shirt was the same shade as yesterday, although it did look like someone washed and ironed it, unlike Remus. Whatever morning he had, was certainly not going well, if the scowl that had been on his face was anything to go by.
Still Virgil waved at him, like his hands weren’t shaking, his knees weren’t about to give out, and his stomach wasn’t about to relocate to the office building’s tile floor because rent was cheaper.
“I--” Logan ran a hand through his tie, nervously, although Virgil had never seen Logan nervous. He was confident, honest, brutal; but that made his compliments feel like nobel prizes when they were given out and his scathing remarks hurt all that much more. ((You are not our son and never will be.)) “Virgil, what are you doing here?”
Remus was grinning, though, winking at Virgil as if there was a secret he didn’t know about happening. “Didn’t know you, Lo? Our son brought us lunch.”
Logan leveled him with a glare that Virgil was an extreme fan of. Something he saw Logan give a rude customer at the restaurant once and had ever since been trying to replicate because it was the perfect blend of you’re embarrassing yourself and I’d burn down your house with you in it if I had a lighter on me right now.
And Remus didn’t even look a bit put off by it. It must have been a married couple thing. Or a Remus thing. Or a Remus-was-married-and-got-that-look-enough-to-build-up-an-immunity thing
“What did you do?” Logan asked his husband.
“Logan!” The woman from the lobby scolded. “I can’t believe you! Your wonderful, sweet son walked all the way here to bring you lunch and you--”
“Yeah, our totally sweet son!” Remus chimed in. “He just came in here. All by himself!”
Logan ignored them both, turning his clinical gaze on Virgil the same way the counselors of his previous schools would when his teachers informed them that he was “purposely” failing their classes. Straight and cutting and you are not my son and never will be and--
“I didn’t mean to interrupt your work,” Virgil said in a small voice. “I can come back another time. Or never. I just… I thought… you guys came to visit me yesterday and we never really got lunch so I brought you Pad Thai with tofu. And uhm…” Please. I could make a good son. You don’t even know me yet.
The women around him all took a sharp intake of breath, the person with the orange hair absolutely whimpered as if he’d stabbed them.
“I just… wanted to spend time with you,” Virgil said. “To, uhm, talk.”
“Holy fuck, you’re ruthless,” Remus murmured under his breath, and it nearly felt like praise. He wasn’t exactly sure what the fuck he was being praised for, but he must have done something right.
Logan’s face ran through emotions too fast for Virgil to catch them and classify them. His lungs were pounding against his ribs, trying to expand past what a normal human can breathe for, but then Logan’s eyes melted a fraction, and Virgil thought he could walk on air.
“Of course,” Logan said. “I-- of course, Virgil. Why… why don’t you and Remus come in here and we’ll have lunch.”
Virgil didn’t sprint towards him, but he could understand if everyone else in the office made the mistake of thinking he did. He heard Remus say something about kids that made it sound like he was feeding into that whole Virgil-is-his-son thing further. However all Virgil could think was Logan, and Logan’s Office Away From People, and I didn’t think I was going to get this far did the elevator break and did it crash to the ground killing me on impact?
Remus closed the door behind himself, trapping Virgil in the office with the two adults. It looked a lot like… well… an office. There weren’t any pictures of Remus or anyone on the walls. There weren’t even knick knacks on the desk. Impersonal, kinda cold, uncomfortable, as if Logan didn’t want any distractions from his 9 to 5 day shift or simply did not like anything-- which Virgil knew wasn’t true because the man was married and once went on a rant about space when Virgil was serving him. There was an Excel sheet pulled up on the computer which it seemed that Logan had been correcting before he’d been disturbed by Virgil’s… mess.
((There was a chair in the corner with a suit jacket tossed over it. It didn’t match the one Logan was wearing today.))
The room was silent for a whole second while all three of them listened to the people outside go back to whatever their jobs were.
Then.
“Did you,” Remus started slowly, a light in his eyes that made Virgil’s knees threaten to give out. “Did you just spread the rumor that Logan and I are good parents?! That’s so ballsy, kid!”
Virgil wasn’t sure how much of his smile looked like a grimace. He held out the boxes of food to Logan and Remus. “I am, uh, blackmailing you. Both of you.”
“Blackmailing,” Logan echoed, as Remus grabbed his shoulder and shook them both at a frequency that probably wasn’t safe for humans to be shaken at. “I think I need to sit down. This is not....”
“Oh my god,” Remus whispered. “Holy mother of Culthulu on a butt fucking stick! He’s playing The Game!”
“Game?” Virgil repeated, trying to reign in all the terror welding in his throat that honestly he was surprised hadn’t straight up killed him already. “Uh no-- I don’t-- Look, it’s really simple! I just need Logan to pretend to be my dad for a day. Like shake hands with my teacher, tell him everything is a-okay at home, and then we don’t ever have to speak about it again! Or speak to each other again! Unless you need your coworkers to think you’re a decent person-- not saying that you aren’t! Because I know you both are! Obviously! Because I wouldn’t agree to a three hour car ride with murderers-- did I even say it was a three hour car ride? Oh fuck I’m sorry, this was stupid--”
“Is there a reason things are not… “a-okay” at home?” Logan said, just short of sounding strangled.
Luckily before Virgil could start sobbing Remus threw a hand over Logan’s mouth and leaned forward. “The kid wants you to play parent, Lolo! Stop thinking so much!”
Logan batted his hand away. “Why me? Why not Remus? Or your actual parents?” Logan asked. “Why… me?”
Virgil wilted back despite his best efforts, already feeling his face do that stupid thing where it heats up beyond humiliation and his entire soul craves spontaneous combustion. “Please don’t make me say it.”
But Logan and Remus apparently couldn’t read minds (fuckkkkk) and just continued to stare at him in baffled confusion. Virgil curled his hands into fists and forced himself to stare at the wall behind Logan’s head and state, out loud, for everyone to hear, “You’re cool.”
“Cool,” Logan echoed. “I’m cool. I’m so cool that you think that makes up for the fact that--”
“Look, my actual parents would be excited if they found out a serial killer grabbed me off the street,” Virgil blurted out. “Remus freaks me the fuck out-- no offense, or actually a lot of offense, please stop grinning at me like that-- and you’re cool, don’t ask me to do anything stupid, never told me I was stupid for not understanding calc-- fuck calc-- so yeah you’re at the top of my adults I trust list right now and I just need someone to be my parent for one day so I can go to this seminar that I really want to go to about business finances management. After that you can tell your coworkers whatever the fuck you guys want from me! Tell them I died! I don’t care! I just… please. Just for ten hours. I’ll find a way to pay for gas, food, and housing so you won’t have to spend a dime!”
“Absolutely not--”
“Please!” Virgil said.
“You’re not paying for it!” Logan said. He shoved his glasses up to his hairline and massaged the bridge of his nose and Virgil’s heart stopped in his chest, leaving him as frozen as a statue.
Remus leaned back against Logan’s desk, far too casual. “So….you’re going?”
Logan didn’t answer right away. Virgil didn’t often subscribe to the idea that hope felt like a fluttery thing, but goddamnit did hope feel like a moth with a broken wing struggling to find some way through a glass window pane. He felt like he was going to be sick; he felt like he was going to pass out.
Logan placed a hand on his desk to steady himself. “...where… is this event.”
“YES!” Virgil couldn’t help himself. Luckily, Remus and Logan didn’t look too bothered by his outburst. He dug the crumpled folded flyer from his pocket and smoothed it out for Logan to look at, which he accepted easily, already scanning the red, green, and blue writing with a critical eye.
Virgil knew he was grinning stupidly-- like more stupid than when he watched Janus trip on the sidewalk or answer a question with an abundance of confidence just to be wrong-- but he couldn’t bring himself to stop. He tucked a loose strand of hair behind his ear and turned halfway, to find that Remus was picking through the takeout boxes, and watching him.
“Uh,” Virgil said, smile dropping. “Sorry. That I’ll be stealing your husband for a day. Is… is that okay? Do you guys need to talk about that?”
Remus snorted. “Yeah so, funny story: Logan and I aren’t actually--”
“--in need of discussing it,” Logan cut in, suddenly talking over Remus without looking up from the flyer, or his phone where he was googling something. “I seem to recall a conversation where…. What was it? Ah yes: Just because you let me put a ring on your hand does not mean that either of us controls the other.”
“Oh my god, were you guys actually going to have a divorce?” Virgil blurted out. “Oh shit, did I just make this worse?”
“No,” Remus and Logan said at the same time, in such an agreement that it startled both of them and Virgil raised his hands in a placating move.
“No, kid,” Remus said. “Logan and I just need to have a… conversation.”
“More than one,” Logan added.
“About what we want out of…this.”
“Yes. This.”
Virgil glanced between them. “You guys are acting weird and I don’t like it.”
“Virgil, I am concerned about the statement you made about your parents not caring if a serial killer killed you,” Logan said. “Please, elaborate.”
“It’s not important,” Virgil said automatically. “Really. I think whatever the two of you have going on is far more detail worthy--”
“I also would like you to know that I will not be starting any rumors about you having died, especially not to my coworkers. Remus?”
“The game is not fun when people are getting hurt,” Remus… agreed? Virgil wasn’t sure exactly what was going on. “So, for the foreseeable future you are going to be our son, which is technically providing a service, wouldn’t you agree, Lo?”
“Yes. Providing a service requires a payment. How does thirty dollars an hour sound?”
“What the fuck,” Virgil said. “Wait--”
“This event is an all day affair, which means both of us will be too tired to do any driving afterwards, so that means a hotel,” Logan continued. “Remus, I assumed that you would like to join? Excellent. I’ll have Patton approve your days off. Two bedrooms. Virgil, you mentioned you like to sleep in so I assume a check out around noon the following day, plus a three hour drive back here, would make a total of…. Around twenty seven hours. Which comes out to a total of eight hundred ten dollars. Does that sound adequate?”
Virgil looked at Remus. “I think I made a mistake.”
Remus laughed at him. “I think we should round it to an even thousand.”
“No!” Virgil shrieked. “That was not a solution!”
“Face it, kid. You just won yourself two sugar daddies in one go.”
“Stop talking!” Virgil said. “You are not going to pay me to be your son on a trip that I am blackmailing you into going on!”
“Sure we are,” Remus said, talking through a mouth of food. “Gotta make up for all the birthdays we missed for our son.”
Virgil thought he was going to melt into the floor. But uh, it was nice? Kinda? Logan was definitely holding a piece of a smile on his normally stoic face and Remus was almost chill and they had been in this room together for a whole five minutes and nothing had exploded and neither of them had tried to kill him for pretending to be their son or otherwise revealed that they were insanely evil.
So, yeah. When Virgil saw them in the restaurant he didn’t think he was going to actually get adopted, but well…Virgil was tentatively hopeful for how this might turn out.
(Part 6)
#sanders sides#intrulogical#anxceit#remus sanders#logan sanders#virgil sanders#janus sanders#patton sanders#Hahah yeah that certainly is one way to gain a son#fake marriage#fake dating#fake adoption???#Rumor Mill Au#sympathetic remus#Maybe having a child really will save this marriage#Far too many OCs#Virgil has a +20 to Charisma despite literally everything#Because I make the rules
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its thinking about reverse!sides hours
#sanders sides#yknow the ones where the light sides become dark sides and vise versa?#ye#im. always thinking about reverse logan#at all times#or any variation of dark side logan#he takes up 90% of my thoughts#also. darkside!patton. yeah im a little bit obsessed w/ that rn#which is funny because on one hand#im such a big fan of sympathetic logan that i want him to be mean and tell the others just how much they hurt him#and on the OTHER hand#im a big fan of UNSYMP patton being manipulative and sly#and somehow that manifests in me liking both of them as dark sides#so thats fun#and! im also thinking about reverse janus#just. so much mom energy
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Omg I need help finding this fic like it's actual bugging me so bad, so like, repost or dm me or whatever, I don't use Tumblr, but tell me if anyone has read this fic and if they know where to find it.
In short, U!Patton. Virgil wakes to find himself tied in a chair, Patton ends up coming down and leaving him there for hours until finally giving him like strawberry pancakes and orange juice?? An odd detail but WHO CARES!! Anyways, he force fed him moldy and rotten food as a punishment one time. Then he sent down Roman to use Virgil as a stress reliever then sent down Logan who did electrocution experiments on him.
It was an unamed series on a u!Patton acc but I feel like the acc has been deleted or all their posts have, but if anyone recognizes this story TELL ME PLEASE I'll litteraly write a oneshot for anyone who finds it I'm fr
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Would anyone be interested if I made headcanons for a Spy AU I got in mind?
#pebbles stuff#sanders sides#virgil sanders#patton sanders#remus sanders#logan sanders#roman sanders#janus sanders#deceit sanders#sympathetic deceit#sanders sides spy au#spy au#thomas sanders
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How Romantic
what if a side did get forgotten? they got pushed to the side enough (maybe by the others being in a relationship, maybe by other conflicts) and the mindscape started to remove the "unnecessary" influence – doteddestroyer
Read on Ao3
Warnings: fading/ducking out, but he's fine
Pairings: none, so gen
Word Count: 4777
Romanticism emphasized the individual, the subjective, the irrational, the imaginative, the personal, the spontaneous, the emotional, the visionary, and the transcendental. When Roman is forgotten as a part of Creativity, well, what use does the Imagination have for a prince when it can simply put the Romantic into its work in other ways? Remus has a few things to say about that.
It shouldn’t be all that surprising, really, to think that if a Mind forgets something, it will no longer manifest. Or rather, to not think of it. Or, one could imagine the consequences of not imagining something.
Listen, Roman’s already mostly out the door, he doesn’t have enough cognitive function left to think his way in and out of all the contradictions that arise from the things he says.
The basic principle is this: if a thing is no longer relevant in the Mindscape, which is a consequence of people not thinking about it, then it ceases to exist. The Mindscape doesn’t put the energy into making it a thing. Think of it like a video game. The game only renders the part of the role that the player is currently in, there’s no use for it to render the secret dungeon buried in the third level of the side quest that hardly anyone knows about. It’s more efficient if it doesn’t and in the incredibly slim chance that the player does end up there, then the game can render it and it’ll be fine and it’ll de-load as soon as they leave to go back to the main game.
Got it?
Great.
So, that’s where Roman is right now. In his room, waiting to be de-loaded. He has his Prince costume on, because that’s the version of him that’s going to fade last, his room is all made up in his signature red: red curtains, red comforter, red pillowcases, red notebook laid on his desk. He’s even got his sword out for a final sharpening—no, that’s not a dirty joke, he’s not that Creativity, he’s literally just taking care of the katana—as he waits for the telltale shudder of the Mindscape forgetting something.
He hums absentmindedly to himself as the whetstone sings against the blade. Really, it’s surprising it’s taking this long. Well, not really. Forgetting things is a slow process, it’s not like you can snap your fingers and poof, something’s gone. At the very least, it has to be long enough that something else has taken its place in your mind, and then when you look, you can’t even tell that something was ever missing from it.
Remus has that handled. And Roman will fight anyone who says that’s just because he’s intrusive thoughts, or whatever, no, Remus is memorable all on his own, thank you very much. He’s far cleverer than they all give him credit. And Roman wishes he was half as quick as Remus.
Again, not an innuendo. That’s not his thing, remember?
And Remus isn’t bound by the same creative limits he is! He can run wild—literally, if they let him—and come up with the most incredible things that open up all sorts of new possibilities for what they could do, what they can talk about, what sorts of things they could explore. Isn’t that so much better than just regurgitating the same story idea, over and over and over, doesn’t that get exhausting? How can you imagine something new when all you’re able to do is ricochet around the same blank boring box?
His hand shudders a little as it moves back up the blade. He never liked creative blocks.
And how nice would it be to have a Creativity that wasn’t bound to the fragility of the Ego? How much better, how much easier would it be if you didn’t have to worry about getting bruised and hurt every single time you got feedback on something you made? Making things is hard, you know, it’s vulnerable and terrifying and mortifying especially when you’re showing the end product to someone—and even if you aren’t! Even if it sits on a shelf in your room or a folder on your computer and it never, ever sees the light of day, that’s still scary! You’ve made something, it exists now because of you, and now someone could look at it and see you through it and—and—
Well. You get the idea.
Roman sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose. He puts the katana away and places the whetstone back in its little box. As he goes to pick it up, it falls through his hands and hits the floor with a low thud.
Ah. So it is starting after all.
He leaves the box on the floor and goes back to the bed. He lies down, not sinking very much at all into his red covers. He folds his hands on his chest and stares up at the ceiling.
It makes sense, after all, that the parts of him the others don’t know about—or have already forgotten about—are going first. The whetstone. They know he has a sword. They probably don’t know how he takes care of it. His bed is red, and he’s the color red, so it’s still here. His room, his prince costume, his desk, all things he needs to be Creativity, or at least half of Creativity, so it will probably go last too.
He lets his head loll to the side, staring at his red notebook. bits of grey begin to enter his vision, the red notebook standing out like a sore thumb. He wonders if any of the things written on its pages would still be there if he looked.
He did love that notebook. It was his friend when no one else would be his friend. It was there for him when it wasn’t okay for him to have someone there for him, when he’d messed up too much to deserve comfort from anyone else, he would go to the notebook. Mainly because the notebook didn’t have a choice.
He’s written a small thing the other day about that, actually. He wonders if it’s still there. If he closes his eyes, maybe he can remember it.
Why don’t you talk to me?; you’re unkind to me; why don’t you talk to me?; I tried and you turned it into a lecture; why don’t you talk to me?; you make fun of me when I try to express how I’m feeling; why don’t you talk to me?; I tried to ask you for help and you turned it into a game of who could mock me the most until I ran away; why don’t you talk to me?; because you were still laughing when I ran away crying; why don’t you talk to me?; because you made me feel guilty for needing help; why don’t you talk to me?; because you made me feel ashamed for wanting support and comfort; why don’t you talk to me?; I don’t want to be in trouble; why don’t you talk to me?; I want to be hurt and upset and have that be okay because I got hurt by something; why don’t you talk to me?; the loneliest time in the world is right before you tell someone else what you did wrong because you know they won’t want to comfort you anymore; why don’t you talk to me?; it’s cold here; why don’t you talk to me?; I just want to be alone now; why don’t you talk to me?; I learned my lesson already; why don’t you talk to me?; what would I have to say?; why don’t you talk to me?; tell me the right words to use so you’ll actually care about me; why don’t you talk to me?; I don’t want to; why don’t you talk to me?; I don’t trust you anymore; why don’t you talk to me?; why would I talk to you?
Ah, that’s it.
His melodrama will probably be the last thing to go too.
He sighs, rubbing his cheek half-heartedly against the pillow in search of some meager comfort. He hasn’t been forgotten enough that the pain that lingers in his chest and hands has gone away, though he’s not sure how. He doesn’t think anyone knows about that—except maybe Remus.
Oh, Remus.
Roman’s chest burns and he gasps, sudden tears coming to the corners of his eyes. He doesn’t want to leave his brother, not after everything they’ve been through, not after all the work they’ve done to get back to the place they’re at now, after all this time, not when they’re finally brothers again. He sniffles, going to wipe his nose and his hands just start to ache. He curls up on the bed, around his pained hands, weeping for himself, for his brother, for Creativity.
Enough of his mind remains to put the pieces together and realize oh, of course. In forgetting everything else, I have been left with the things that I am at my core.
Pain in his chest and hands and an undying love for his brother.
A more complete Creativity might’ve called it Romantic.
***
Thomas sighs. To say that most of these meetings go well would be a lie, but this meeting is not going well.
“Look, all I’m saying is that—“
“Well, that’s your problem right there, you’ve been doing an awful lot of ‘saying’ and not a lot of ‘listening.’”
“Your sass, as delightful as it is, kiddo, is not helpful right now.”
“Oh, really? And here I thought it was the most pivotal thing at the moment.”
“No, it’s not, because it’s taking valuable time from—“
“Sarcasm, Patton. That was sarcasm.”
“And see! That’s another thing—“
“Oh, for the love of Archimedes…”
Yeah. not going well. Thomas pinches the bridge of his nose, trying to figure out what this conversation started with and how exactly they ended up here.
Right, okay.
He’d gotten a text from a friend about a thing they wanted to go do. The problem was, the thing cost money to do and the friend hadn’t said anything about paying for Thomas to come. His finances weren’t awful but it wasn’t like he had the amount of money to just…spare. Logan had suggested they ask and confirm who would be paying the entrance fee, Virgil had worried that it was rude to ask something like that, Janus had proposed a number of ways they could ‘surreptitiously’ ask about it, and Patton had worried about going at all if they were going to be guilt-tripped into it or if the friend had just assumed Thomas would be fine paying for it.
It had…developed from there.
“Look,” Logan says, “there is a very simple way to ask whether or not Thomas is to pay for his own entrance fee. We simply text or call them back and ask.”
“But what if they freak out about it? That’s a weird thing to ask!”
“How is it a weird thing to ask?”
“They might think we’re trying to freeload, or that we’re going to ask them to pay us back, or what if they think that we’re broke?”
“Hey!” Patton puts his hands on his hips. “You are not broken, kiddo, and I won’t stand for you saying that you are!”
“…not what I meant, but thanks, I guess.”
Janus rolls his eyes. “Well, if we’re this stressed out about a simple invitation to something we want to go to anyway, perhaps we should reconsider whether we want to be friends with them at all.”
“Now that’s a bit of an overreaction.”
“Sarcastic! I was being sarcastic!’
Yeah. That’s about where they are now. Out of sheer desperation, if nothing else, he glances over at Remus. Remus’s arms are hanging over the TV, swinging his hands as he grins at the chaos unfolding. He catches Thomas’s gaze and tilts his head in a silent question. Thomas gestures weakly around and Remus shrugs.
“I voted we just go without paying, but apparently that’s illegal or something.”
“Yeah, buddy, that’s…we’re not gonna do that.”
Remus shrugs. “Suit yourself.”
“Alright, look,” Thomas says, raising his voice enough to speak over the current argument about—you know what, he’s not even gonna ask— “this isn’t going anywhere. If we’re going to figure out what we are actually going to do, we need to think about this differently.”
“It’s a simple issue, Thomas.”
“And yet, we’ve been talking for close to an hour and we’ve made zero progress.” Thomas rubs his forehead. “Look, where’s Roman?”
There’s a pause.
“Roman?” Patton frowns. "Why would we need Roman?”
“Well, you know, he’s…also Creativty? Maybe he can help us think of something we’re not thinking of?”
“Remus is also Creativity,” Logan says, indicating Remus who gives a cheery little wave. “His suggestions have been…well, we’ve ruled them out.”
“That’s because you guys are no fun.”
“Yeah, but Roman is a different Creativity. Doesn’t it make sense that what he’d come up with would be different.”
Logan adjusts his glasses. “I suppose so.”
“Why didn’t he show up today, does anyone know?”
“Perhaps he is working on another video idea.”
“Maybe he got lost in the Imagination? Happens to me all the time.”
“Maybe he slept in. God knows he harps on about his ‘beauty sleep’ enough.”
“Janus? Remus? What about you two?”
“Why would I bother to keep track of anything Roman does?” Thomas narrows his eyes at him and Janus sighs, rolling his eyes. “No, I don’t know where he is or why he didn’t bother to show up, nor do I much care.”
“Janus!”
“What?”
Patton puts his hands on his hips. “Don’t be so dismissive, how would you like it if someone said that about you?”
”I don’t know, Virgil, how would I like it?”
“Hey, leave me out of this, I don’t have anything to do with whatever the heck this is.”
Thomas just barely suppresses a deep sigh and looks over at Remus. Remus, however, is not relishing in the argument breaking out between the three of them. Instead, he’s staring off into the corner, frowning hard.
“Remus? You okay, buddy?”
“Why can’t I remember the last time I saw Roman?”
Thomas frowns. That manages to get the attention of the others—somehow—and a hush falls over the room as they all think about it.
“Well, it can’t have been that long ago,” Patton says, “we saw him for movie night on the, um…when we watched the…”
”No, it was more recent than that,” Logan says, “he had come down to breakfast to make us those muffins.”
“Right, right, that’s right. When, uh, when was that?”
“Well, it was…”
Logan trails off into silence. Remus looks around at all of them. “Think about it: when was the last time any of us actually saw Roman? Can any of us actually remember?”
Thomas watches with muted horror as all of them slowly shake their heads.
“Fuck.”
“Language, kiddo,” Patton scolds, “anyway, I’m sure this is just a big misunderstanding.”
“That’s right,” Logan says, “after all, it’s hardly the first time Roman has been absent.”
“Yeah, but he normally tells someone where he’s going,” Virgil mutters, “especially if it’s gonna be for a while.”
“Okay, the last time I definitely saw Ro was three weeks ago when we fed Ollie.”
“He helped me put up new cat posters in my room. I think it was…it was before we did that full moon thing, so that was a month ago?”
“He—jeez, I think I passed him in the hallway at, like, stupid o’clock around a week ago, but I was…pretty out of it.”
“We had a brief meeting about the upcoming script last week. That’s the last time I remember seeing him for certain.”
“Don’t look at me,” Thomas protests when all eyes turn in his direction, “I don’t see him outside of these meetings and the last time we had one of those was like, two months ago.”
“Janny? What about you?”
Janus sighs, idly examining one of the seams on the tip of his finger. “I think you’re all being overdramatic.”
“Roman is missing, Janus,” Logan says with a bit of bite to his words, “I don’t think ‘overdramatic’ is an accurate description.”
“Yeah, especially since none of us can remember the last time we saw him.”
“Oh, please,” he sighs, “it’s Roman. Do you really think something so horrible could happen to him that he’d disappear and he wouldn’t tell anyone about it?”
A beat.
“…shit.”
“Yeah, that sounds like Roman.”
”Alright,” Virgil says, getting up, “Thomas, don’t respond yet. They’ll think you’re working or something. Remus, go check the Imagination.”
“On it!”
“Logan, go see if he’s in the library, J, check the Dark Side’s living room.” The two of them nod and sink out. “Pat?”
“Yeah?”
“We’re gonna go to his room and see if he’s in there.”
“Okay.” Patton glances at Thomas. “Can you…can you feel anything?”
Thomas frowns, putting a hand on his chest. He moves it to the other side.
“Are you checking for your pulse or something?”
“No, normally when I think about Roman, like I’m gonna summon him or something, there’s this, like, warmth? It’s like something in my chest that just—it’s hard to explain.” He moves his hand back. “But I can’t…I can’t feel it right now.”
“Oh, that’s probably not good.”
”We should go.”
“Hey, if it ever feels like you can summon him again? Do it, then get the rest of us back.”
Thomas nods, watching as Virgil grabs Patton and they sink out. He sits slowly on the couch, staring into the middle distance as he keeps moving his hand around his chest. It’s strange; he normally doesn’t even have to put a hand to himself to feel where Roman is. He wasn’t lying before, it really is like this warmth that just lives in his chest, like a second heart almost, one that doesn’t really beat so much as just exist there. Like it’s reminding him that he’s, you know, a human with feelings and wants and desires and that’s okay.
Oh, Roman, buddy, where are you?
***
Remus steps into the Imagination and his knees almost buckle immediately.
Bluish-black storm clouds gather and bruise a dark grey sky overlooking a massive craggy cliff rising impossibly high. Vividly green grass and terribly purple flowers bloom deep inside the crevices of the rocks lining the path in front of him, the smell of fresh rain hanging so heavy that it seems it would fall any moment. In the distance he can see evergreens, smell them even though they must be miles away, and another mountain rising behind them with thin, wispy clouds stretching red fingers over its peak. The ground is warm under him, as though he were standing over an active volcano, but he can see and hear and smell the river that flows by just to the side of him, and the breeze that comes from it is cool and damp. His fingers twitch. So does his nose. He takes a deep, deep breath and takes a step forward.
With every step he takes, the more an uncertain feeling takes root at the base of his stomach. it’s too sweet to be panic, too frenzied to be melancholy, and too lonely to be wonder. He keeps walking. The Imagination is always impossibly vivid, impossibly beautiful, but something about this feels…different.
His chest feels tight.
As he moves past a larger collection of boulders, he rounds the corner as he spots a tree. A massive tree, one where the branches curl outwards and upwards like color diffusing into clear water. Some part of Remus—a part that sounds a lot like Logan, if he’s being honest—mutters how a tree like this couldn’t exist, not in these mountains, not with its roots in these rocks. And yet, here it grows all the same. He moves toward it, the tightness in his chest growing with every step.
At the base of the tree lies the hilt of a katana.
“R-Ro?” Remus collapses in front of the tree, shaking hands touching the trunk. The bark flakes away under his fingers and the smallest glimmers of gold shine up. “Roro…oh, Ro, what happened?”
“Remus? Remus!”
“Whoa, what the hell is this place?”
Remus can’t tear his eyes away from the tree long enough to see them but he can hear the others rush up behind him. He just paws weakly at the trunk and Logan’s muffled gasp is all he needs to hear before he starts sobbing.
“Oh, no,” Logan mumbles, “Roman’s…something’s happened to Roman. He’s—Remus, has he Faded? Or is this something else?”
“He’s been Forgotten,” Remus sobs, “the—the Imagination put him back where—where he wasn’t Roman anymore and he’s—he’s—“
Another sob leaves his throat.
“I want my brother back!”
“But we remember him,” Patton says, “we—we do, he’s Roman, we want him back, why—why is he here still?”
“I don’t think he knows we’re here,” Virgil says, glancing around, “I think he’s—I think he’s here sort of, but not in the Roman we know.”
“So what do we do? How do we get him back?”
Remus is still touching the tree. The clouds overhead start to rumble with distant thunder. He presses himself up against it, hugging it tightly.
“Come back, Ro-bro,” he mumbles into the bark, “came back, I want you to come back.”
“Logan? What do we do?”
“There has to be a reason he’s manifesting like this, doesn’t there?” Logan turns around, looking at the mountains, the sky, the river, the rocks, the tree. “Nature, the natural world, he’s become a tree so some kind of growth? Reincarnation? Transcendence?”
“Maybe it has more to do with Roman?” Janus’s against the bark near Remus’s head. “Creativity? Ego? Romance?”
“Romance…Romance…Romance, of course, Roman’s Romance!”
“What about this seems particularly romantic to you?”
“That’s it, it’s not romantic, it’s Romantic. The Romantic movement, the whole—oh, Roman,” Logan says softly, resting his hands on the trunk too, “I’m sorry that you didn’t feel like you could talk to us.”
“How in the hell are you getting all of that from Roman being a tree?”
”The Romantic period was in reaction to the balance and calm of the Classical. Heightened emotion, the irrational, the subjective, all of these became key themes. It was far more important to preserve the spirit and individuality of the artist rather than any sort of adherence to strict rules or traditional procedures.” Logan’s hand runs over the bark. “As well as a focus on the inner struggles of the exceptional figure.”
“And Princey’s the exceptional figure?”
”In a manner of speaking.” Logan presses his other hand to the tree too. “Roman? Are you here?”
A breeze ruffles through the leaves.
“Was that him?” Patton rushes forward and touches the tree. “Roman? Roman, kiddo, are you there?”
Another low boom of distant thunder and it starts to rain.
“Quick, everyone touch the tree.” Everyone puts their hands on it. ‘Roman? Roman, can you feel that? We’re all here, we’re all right here.”
The thunder grows louder. They wait there with bated breath as the tree rustles in the breeze, until Janus, who hadn’t clutched down with the rest of them, hears a crackle from up in the clouds.
“Get back!”
They all fling themselves away just as lightning strikes the tree, the very top of it catching fire as the trunk splits down the middle. Jagged bits of wood just into the open air like fractured ribs. And there, in the center of the splitting trunk—
—is Roman.
“Ro!” Remus howls and dives forward, wrenching his brother’s body out of the tree and dragging him to lie on the flat stone. “Ro, wake up, wake up, you have to be okay, you have to be!”
“…Re?”
Remus sobs again, throwing his arms around Roman who looks up at them with quiet confusion.
“What’s going on?”
“You left,” Janus spits, “you vanished and we didn’t know where you were so we had to come look for you.”
“J,” Virgil says lowly, before crouching down, “you went missing, Roman. We couldn’t find you. Why, uh, why were you in a tree?”
Roman frowns. “I don’t know. I…I was in my room, and you were forgetting me—“
“What do you mean, we were forgetting you?”
Roman blinks. “You were forgetting me. You were going to Remus. Remus is the Creativity that’s helping more. You weren’t thinking about me.”
“That’s not true,” Patton mumbles, horrified, even as Roman gestures around with a wordless if it wasn’t, we wouldn’t be here, “we…we love you, Roman.”
Roman just shrugs. “Maybe.”
“What do you mean, ‘maybe?’” Janus splutters. “That’s not a thing you get to say maybe about, Roman.”
Roman doesn’t even flinch, just turns slightly so he can rest his head against Remus’s.
“You don’t even have anything to say for yourself?”
“Janus,” Logan says sharply, “that’s enough.”
”Roman disappears, he turns into a tree, he says we’re forgetting him and that we don’t love him, and we’re just supposed to accept it?” Janus throws his hands up. “How are you three so calm about this?”
“I’m not calm, but I’m not going to make this about me right now!”
“Janus,” Roman says softly and they instantly fall quiet, “you’re right. I’m sorry. I don’t know how I became a tree. I didn’t mean to imply you guys had forgotten me entirely. I shouldn’t have said you don’t love me.”
Janus’s eyebrows raise in surprise. He huffs a little awkwardly and folds his arms. “Well. Good.”
”Are…we done now?”
“What? No, Princey, we’re not done, we—“ Virgil runs a hand through his hair— “you turned into a tree. After you vanished. How the hell are we—what do we do now?”
Roman shrugs.
Remus, who has been lying on top of Roman for this whole thing, feels one of the hands under him begin to meld with the stone. He draws back, alarmed, only for Roman’s fingers to come free and lace with his. He squints at Roman’s face, noticing the barely-there tremble of his lip, and whips around to face the other three.
“You three. Fingers. Ears. Song. Now.”
‘What?”
“Do it!”
It takes them a second but they begrudgingly put their fingers in their ears and start mumbling things to avoid listening. Remus glares at them for a moment longer before turning back to Roman.
‘Hey,” he whispers, “what’s wrong?”
Roman’s lip trembles again. “They’re still here,” he whispers back, “I just—I just want to hurt.”
‘What do you mean?”
“They’ll be mad at me for whatever’s going on, they’ll—I don’t want them to explain or tell me how what I’m doing is bad, or anything like that. I don’t want their—I don’t want their comfort,” Roman whispers, his voice getting thick, “I just want to be hurt by myself and have that be okay.”
“Of course that’s okay, Ro.”
“Because they did forget me. It’s not your fault or anything but they did and it hurts, Re—“
“I know, I know, shh, shh, hey, hey,” he says, “let’s do this: we need to go tell good old Thomathy that we found you, so let’s you and me go do that and then we can have our own cat pile wherever you want, okay? Just you and me. The others can you suck a tree branch.”
“Won’t they be mad?”
“Tell you what: you go to Thomas right now, I’ll deal with them, and then I’ll come after.”
“…I’m sorry I left again, Re.”
“Pshh. Water under the Kraken.”
***
Thomas shoots up from the couch as Roman rises up in his normal place.
“Roman! You’re okay!” He yes the scratches as bruises from the tree. ‘Well, mostly.”
Roman rubs the back of his head. “Yeah. I’m…sorry.”
“Whoa, hey, it’s okay, buddy. As long as you’re okay.”
Roman blinks. “Wait, really?”
‘Yeah, bud. You, uh…it looks like you’ve been through some stuff.”
“…that’s one way to put it.”
“Do you, uh talk about it?”
“Not really.”
‘Okay.”
“Wait, you’re sure?”
‘Yeah. It’s your business. I, uh, I’ll be here if you do want to?”
“Thanks, Thomas.”
“Of course, buddy. You’re great.” Thomas scratches the back of his head too. ‘I know we, uh, haven’t always been the best at saying stuff out loud to each other, that’s normally what the others do, but…you know I’d never replace you for anything, right?”
Roman smiles. He really, truly smiles. And for just a moment, the entire Mindscape fades away, leaving just the two of them standing in this one little room. A man and his Ego, smiling at each other.
The setting sun peeks in through the blinds and the room glows with a rich, bright red.
General Taglist: @frxgprince@potereregina@gattonero17@iamhereforthegayshit@thefingergunsgirl@awkwardandanxiousfander@creative-lampd-liberties@djpurple3@winterswrandomness@sanders-sides-uncorrect-quotes@iminyourfandom@bullet-tothefeels@full-of-roman-angst-trash @ask-elsalvador @ramdomthingsfrommymind@demoniccheese83@pattonsandershugs @el-does-photography @princeanxious@firefinch-ember@fandomssaremysoul@im-an-anxious-wreck@crazy-multifandomfangirl @punk-academian-witch@enby-ralsei@unicornssunflowersandstuff@wildhorsewolf @thetruthaboutthesun @stubbornness-and-spite @princedarkandstormv @your-local-fookin-deadmeme @angels-and-dreams@averykedavra @a-ghostlight-for-roman @treasurechestininterweb @cricketanne @queerly-fluid-fan @compactdiscdraws@cecil-but-gayer@i-am-overly-complicated@annytheseal@alias290@tranquil-space-ninja @arxticandy @mychemically-imbalanced-romance@whyiask@crows-ace @emilythezeldafan@frida0043 @ieatspinalcords @snowyfires@cyanide-violence@oonagh2@xxpanic-at-the-everywherexx@rabbitsartcorner @percy-07734@triflingassailantofmyemotions @virgil-sanders-the-gay-emo@cerulean-watermelon@puffed-up-bees@meltheromanstan@joyrose-fandomer@insanitori@mavenmush@justablah65@10paradox10@uhhh-hi-there-i-am-nervous@cutebisexualmess@bella-bugatti-frogetti-baguetti@ultrageekygirl
#dragonbabbles#sanders sides#fic#roman angst#roman sanders#roman sanders angst#logan sanders#remus sanders#sympathetic remus#virgil sanders#patton sanders#janus sanders#deceit sanders#sympathetic deceit
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This is gorgeous and heartbreaking
They’re both liars….
#sanders sides#janus sanders#ts fanart#ts digital art#sanders sides fanart#patton sanders#deceit sanders#sympathetic deceit#ts patton#ts janus
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had a small idea. kinda just a one-line prompt but hey. names could always be changed hence the brackets lol
"hey, hey, (roman)." (remus) says quietly, "it's okay. you're safe. well, as safe as you can be with him around."
omg i LOVEE this! let me see what kinds of scenario i can come up with for ya!
pierrot
(cw -> whumper!patton, implied physical abuse, mention of kinks)
"Hey, hey, Roman," Remus says quietly, "It's okay. You're safe. well, as safe as you can be with him around."
Roman smiles and nods rapidly, doing anything he can to make it clear to Remus how okay he is. He has to be okay, he has to be carefree and unafraid. Patton is standing right there. If he finds out that Roman told anybody about the things that happen when the cameras stop rolling, the chatty prince might just need to be silenced.
But of course, Remus doesn't know that. Remus doesn't know anything about the bursts of purple and yellow peppered across his skin underneath his bright white prince costume. Remus doesn't know that Roman's mouth tastes metallic because of how hard he has to bite his tongue so nobody can hear him screaming. Patton is Morality. The good guy. Nobody can know that he has to tan the hide of the pathetic little prince who can't follow simple rules.
All Roman dared to tell Remus about was the horrible things Patton said to him during punishments. And even that was already proving to be too much for the outspoken side to sit on.
As the video starts being recorded and Thomas appears, Remus reaches for Roman's hand so his brother has something steady to keep himself grounded. When Roman doesn't take it, Remus puts a hand on Roman's shoulder instead, causing Roman to tense up and stare at the floor, his entire body tight and still.
It isn't that Remus' touch isn't comforting. In fact, it's quite the opposite. Remus' warm hand, calloused and dry, feels familiar, and Roman almost feels protected. Loved. But really, he can't let himself go and fall into the feeling because every time he dares to look up, he gets trapped in Patton's icy blue eyes as they stare right at him, unblinking, as the father figure grins widely.
"Oh, you're a naughty one, aren't you?" Patton mumbles, so quietly that not even Roman can hear it. "That's okay. It's my job to help people atone for their wrongdoings. That's what Morality's for. I'll ensure your loose lips don't cause anyone anymore trouble, my darling prince. I'm so grateful for the opportunity I have to lead you down the right path..."
---
When the episode is over, nobody feels great about it. The problem doesn't really get solved. No questions really get answered. Patton is seething behind his smile.
"Roman, sweetheart, can you help me out in my room?" he asks in a sing-song voice.
Roman's breathing grows ragged. Remus stands in front of him.
"What, so you can berate him again?" he challenges, "Call him a brat, a worthless little Pierrot? He told me everything, Patton. If degradation's your kink, I won't shame you for it, but don't use my brother to beat off to it. You know how sensitive he is."
"Roman is no prince," Patton whispers, a manic smile growing on his face as his eyes glint with the knowledge of a secret. "He is a Pierrot. He's a sad little clown, with nothing better to do than to spread lies about me. It really is crazy what jealousy can do to a person."
"I'm not jealous of you!" Roman protests quickly, rushing to Patton and getting in his face, begging for some of his attention. "I swear, I'm not. I'm happy that you're the favorite side now, I'm happy that you're getting the praise you deserve! I didn't really tell Remus everything, he just thinks I did. Everything's safe with me, everything! I promise! I am a prince, I am honorable and noble. I promise."
His voice grows more shaky and desperate with each sentence until words that should have been grand declarations turn into desperate pleas.
"Come on, Pierrot," Patton says sweetly, gently holding Roman's long, slender hand and guiding him away from Remus. "Let's go to my room. Talk things out...maybe over some cookies."
Remus' skin becomes hot with anger, and he reaches out for his brother, but the two sink down before Remus even has the chance to extend his arm all the way. They're gone. And now, nobody is going to get in the way of Roman's punishment.
#whump writing#roman sanders#sanders sides#tss#sanders sides fic#sanders sides fanfic#sanders sides fanfiction#whump prompt#whump community#whump fic#remus sanders#patton sanders#tss roman#tss remus#tss patton#ts roman#ts remus#ts patton#unsympathetic patton#sympathetic remus#creativetwins#creativity twins#implied abuse#implied physical abuse#mention of kinks#whumpee roman#whumper patton#caretaker remus#tss whumper requests
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That is the most brutal way to reject someone. I commend you Remus.
Roman: Any good ideas, Remus?
Remus: Rip his eyeballs out and shove them down his throat.
Patton: REMUS!
Remus: He cheated on our Thomas! And now he has the nerve to ask for him back!? I think not! Reject him! Reject him hard!
Deceit: I like that idea. Reject him.
Virgil: I agree.
Roman: Me too.
Logan: It would be less feelings than dating him again. So I agree.
Remus, cheering: WOOO! WERE DUMPING HIM!
#sanders sides#sympathetic deceit#roman sanders#remus sanders#patton sanders#deceit sanders#virgil sanders#logan sanders#ather reblogs#cw body horror#cw gore#cw cheating
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once you’re in the hive, the other bees assume you’re supposed to be there
[Masterpost]
Chapter 8: One Could Get Used to This
Wordcount: 1.5K
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No-one comes to drag Virgil out of bed. He wakes on his own the next morning and for a few moments contemplates getting out of bed, but then he rolls over and goes back to sleep. It’s his day off, he doesn’t have any plans, and he is cozy.
He wakes again around noon, and wanders downstairs. There’s no-one in the sitting room, but he finds Patton in the dining room, curled up in the armchair with a book.
“Good morning!” Patton greets cheerfully. “Did you sleep well?”
“Yeah,” Virgil says. “You?”
Patton’s eyes crinkle up in a pleased smile. “I did, yes, thank you,” he says.
Virgil fidgets, just a little, and he glances back toward the door. “Where’s everyone else?”
“Hm,” Patton says thoughtfully, tapping the book against his chin. “Logan’s in his office, and last I saw him, Roman was still asleep, poor dear.” He chuckles. “You two sure were up real late last night. And Remus and Janus aren’t here right now, but they were going to come to dinner, so they should be arriving in a few hours.” He pauses, thinking. “I don’t think anyone else was planning to be here today, but I might have forgotten something, or they might’ve forgotten to mention it. That happens sometimes.”
“Must make meal planning difficult,” Virgil says.
“It can,” Patton agrees. “But I like to make sure we have plenty of leftovers anyway, so a surprise guest or two isn’t very hard to accommodate.” He smiles gently at Virgil. “Are you hungry? Would you like some breakfast?”
“If you’re offering,” Virgil says, because they have been incredibly hospitable to him so far, but he doesn’t want to presume anything.
“Oh of course,” Patton says, setting his book down. “I hate to leave anyone hungry when there’s food in the house. What would you like? Are you in the mood for a breakfast breakfast, or something more lunchy?”
Virgil hesitates. “I don’t want to make you cook something just for me,” he says.
“Oh, it’s no trouble!” Patton reassures him. “I like cooking. But we do have leftovers in the fridge if you would like something quicker.”
Virgil nods a little. “What are my options?”
“Well, we’ve still got plenty of what we had last night, of course,” Patton says consideringly, getting up and heading towards the kitchen. Virgil follows. “And I made a fresh batch of boiled eggs this morning.” He opens the fridge and peers inside, then waves Virgil over. “Take a look, anything look appetizing?”
Virgil joins Patton in front of the fridge and looks inside. ‘Plenty of leftovers’ may have been an understatement. The fridge is quite full, mostly of containers. There’s no way Virgil can possibly see all the options without taking most of the contents out to see what’s behind them, and he is not about to do that.
Trying to be quick, Virgil scans the food visible through the sides of the containers. He sees white rice, mixed vegetables, something brown that’s probably gravy, mashed potatoes, a couple drumsticks…
He knows, reasonably, that everything in this fridge is probably very good. He is also sure that if he was sat down and served any of these choices, he would eat it without complaint and be pleased with it. But just now, looking at the leftover containers, his stomach and taste buds rebel, and nothing looks appealing.
“I don’t know,” Virgil says. It’s not that he isn’t hungry. His stomach is very helpfully informing him that it is currently empty. It is just also telling him, simultaneously, that there isn’t a single food in the entire world that will satisfy, and unfortunately it has annexed his tongue to its side. His brain, meanwhile, is yelling that he’s taking too long to decide, and he needs to hurry up and pick something before Patton gets upset at him for letting all the cold out of the fridge.
Patton makes a sympathetic sound. “Too many options to choose between?” he says softly. “Would you like me to prepare you a plate?”
Virgil’s very bones go limp. “Yes please,” he says weakly, glad to have the decision taken out of his hands.
Patton rests his hand gently on Virgil’s arm. “Why don’t you go wait in the comfy chair, and I’ll bring you some food in a minute,” he suggests gently.
“Okay,” Virgil says, and goes. Just as he settles, Patton appears in the doorway again with an empty plate in his hands.
“You don’t have any dietary restrictions, do you?” he asks. “I know it’s a bit late to be asking, but…”
“No, I’ll eat anything,” Virgil says, fondness rising in his chest. “Thanks for checking.”
“You’re welcome,” Patton says, and goes back into the kitchen. He returns a few minutes later, the plate now laden with a large slice of lasagna. “Do you want to come eat at the table, or over there?” he asks.
“Table, definitely,” Virgil says, moving. Much less risk of spilling red tomato sauce on their furniture that way, plus he’d rather not try to balance a hot plate on his lap right now. He sits, and Patton places the plate in front of him. Virgil’s eyes go wide. In addition to the lasagna, there’s a slice of home-baked bread with butter and jam, and a small heap of peas and corn. “Just how big do you think my appetite is?”
Patton chuckles. “Sorry,” he says. “Force of habit. Roman would clean that plate and then ask for seconds, especially after sleeping through breakfast.”
“I can believe it,” Virgil says with a laugh.
Patton pats his shoulder, then moves away. “If it’s too much, we can put some of it back,” he says as he reclaims the armchair. “You don’t have to eat all of it.”
He’s certainly going to give it his best go, Virgil’s stomach informs him seriously. His tongue agrees.
Virgil starts with a large bite of bread. It’s no longer fresh-baked, but Patton had re-warmed it. Toasted, maybe? There’s a bit of crunch to it, though it’s still pleasantly soft, not hard as a rock like most toast.
Roman makes an appearance when Virgil’s about halfway through his meal, wearing only a white tank top and a pair of red shorts. Virgil isn’t sure if they’re loose boxer shorts or thin actual shorts, but he’s not about to stare at Roman’s crotch and/or ass long enough to figure it out, and he’s certainly not about to ask.
Probably they’re actual shorts. Roman has so far struck him as having somewhat more decorum than Remus, and probably wouldn’t walk around in just his underwear with a random person in his house.
Probably.
“Ooh, that looks delicious, I want some of that, is there more?” Roman says in greeting, completely oblivious to Virgil’s inner musings.
“There’s one piece of lasagna left, and plenty of the rest,” Patton tells him, and Roman strides into the kitchen.
He returns after a few minutes with a lunch identical to Virgil’s, except that the heap of vegetables is taller, and he has a second, already half-eaten slice of bread in his hand. Also his jam is a different color. Roman plonks himself down in the chair diagonally adjacent to Virgil and grins at him. “Good morning,” he says cheerfully. “I see you did not flee into the night like Cinderella.”
“If I was going to turn into a pumpkin at midnight, it would have happened well before Patton came to tell us to go to bed,” Virgil points out.
“True,” Roman agrees. He turns and points his fork at Patton. “Patty Cake, if he ever turns into a pumpkin, don’t bake him into a pie,” he says.
Patton laughs. “How many times must I promise not to eat him?” he asks.
“Once more, it seems,” Virgil says. “For what it’s worth, I believed you the first time.”
Patton’s eyes twinkle. “I appreciate that.”
“Did you sleep well?” Roman asks Virgil. Virgil nods. As if he could have slept poorly, in that bed. And it was certainly nice to get to sleep in late. “Good, good. After breakfast, do you wanna watch more tv?”
Virgil laughs. “You’re insatiable,” he says.
“We left off on a cliffhanger!” Roman defends. “And I, for one, was thoroughly enjoying myself up until the point at which we were reminded of the cruel passage of time and the physical needs of our frail human bodies.”
“I was having fun too,” Virgil agrees. And, well, he doesn’t have any better plans for his afternoon off. It’ll be fun. He’ll just have to remember to actually bike home before it gets dark again.
“Excellent!” Roman says, clearly taking that as a yes, and tucks into his meal with gusto.
~~~~
Chapter 9: Come for the Bike, Stay for the Game Night
may have a brief break in my regularly scheduled chapter posting, as I've caught up to myself and am still writing chapter 9. So, we'll see if it's ready next week, but likely not.
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