#Sweet Pea the poor little meow meow

[bucknastysbabe]

I knew at once, I knew he needed me

B. Barnes x Reader

Rating: Explicit

Tags: Canon-ish universe, friends to lovers, Bucky’s last trauma, flagsmashers debacle, TW: Bucks past non-con but no detail, blowjobs, fluff and smut, MAN TEARS, sexual dysfunction, Bucky Needs Orders, soft domme, Subby Bucky, Bucky is the sweetest sad meow meow who loves his girl, dry-humping, super-soldier loads amirite

Mood board under cut

Something about Bucky shifted when he went off on the Flag Smasher’s ordeal. You’d gotten a debrief back at HQ. No, you were not super powered. Simply a secretary who once upon a time was a SHIELD agent. But you’d got to know the reclusive former Winter Soldier bits and pieces at first.

Sam shoved him in charge of the Compound while he was dealing with things as the Falcon. Therefore you had to deal with a very surly one-hundred something man who had a staring problem and vocalized all of about 10 words— variants of no. You felt for the poor guy, he’s out of time, his best friend dipped off, and now the government owns him again.

You’d be tired and grumpy too.

But eventually your clipped conversations had turned into iPhone lessons along other modern world curiosities. The recruits were, safe to say, a bunch of jackasses and Bucky would come sit with you to have some coffee and mellow out as you typed. He’d grumble and rave, metal hand whining and whirring.

Then he asked you on a date.

Date turned to more dates.

More dates turned into ‘going steady’ and being ‘his best girl’. It was cotton candy sweet how kind and gentle he was. You knew there was a fear lingering he would hurt you on accident or go haywire. That somehow those words would come back— but they were gone.

You’d remind him sweetly with a squeeze of left inorganic hand and a peck on his pouty lips. He’d walk you back to your apartment and had been in there before for dinner, but was reluctant to stay the night. Reluctant to get anything but a little handsy while making out.

That was okay, he’d been through a lot. You didn’t mind, it was fun exploring with Bucky to find his sexuality, what felt good, what made him tick. Sometimes it could be frustrating but a vibe would do the trick until further notice.

On a miserable day Buck informed you he had to go with Sam on a mission. That mission turned into an entire ordeal, you keeping your head down and doing what you did. The Avenger’s secretary, oft dealing with the wonkiest of adventures under the guidance of Pepper.

Buck had left a message now and then, missing you dearly. The video of John Walker made you sick and worried to the point that Pep had you take the day off. The fact that Zemo was cavorting around with Sam and Bucky was it’s own nightmare.

You managed to reach Bucky on an encrypted line, begging for him to be safe. The soldier had chuckled blithely and replied, “I’m trying my best. No Zemo isn’t trying to kill me. That jackass Walker is going down though. Gonna’ get this under control and get back to you, sweet pea. I-,” he paused on the line, “I love you. I miss you too. Take care of yourself, gotta go okay?”

You blubbered back an ‘I love you’ and ate a pint of ice cream that night, wearing his shirt, watching that familiar face on the news. Hopefully they would get this Karli girl arrested and end any source of new serum. Put that asshole fake Cap away too.

It did. Sam emerging as the new Captain America, you jumping and cheering alone in the apartment with Alpine. Bucky was smirking in the back. You’d get to see him soon. He left a message he had to sort out one more thing before going home.

A little disappointed, you were glad Bucky went to help Sam’s family out. But you did have a job. On the bright side you could talk to your boyfriend every day. He seemed keen to get home, rambling about things he missed, things he remembered on the worldwide adventure. When Bucky would get off in his thoughts, his voice would get so soft and breathy, making your cheeks flush.

He groaned, “Soon babydoll, soon, I think I’m going to strap you to my side and we’ll catch up on all these movies from the journal.”

“I can’t wait.”

As stated before, there was a shift in Buck. Not bad. Something occurred though. And you couldn’t complain when he had you pinned to the couch, hands roving your body, breathing down your neck, “Oh god, missed you s’much, so damn cold most of the time.”

His toned thighs held yours spread out, hot length pressed to your core, only thin pairs of underwear as a barrier. Things were getting wet down there every rut of his hips. Bucky moaned in frustration, almost trying to bury himself in your skin.

Grabbing scruffy chin you refocused hazy eyes to you. Softly you murmured, “Slow down handsome. I’m not going anywhere. You okay?” Bucky blinked a bit and blushed, sheepishly apologizing with closed eyes, “I- baby- sorry. I don’t know either, jus’ want you. Life’s too short.”

You narrowed your eyes and prodded, “Don’t rush through something you’re not ready for yet.”

Bucky’s blues peered dead into your being this time as he swore, “Been living in fear since I got brought back. I know that I want you, and god it feels Fuckin’ good.” You kissed him passionately after that, tightening your thighs around trim waist.

Bucky hiccuped and heaved when he spilled all over your clothed cunt, sweetly begging for more. You scratched softly at his scalp, ushering the needy thing along. The brunette slid against his own spend and your slick panties, breath hitching. He whined, “S’good, s’good, wet, ff-fuck!”

You ended up spasming and cumming on Buck’s fourth orgasm, so goddamn slick between the pair of you now. He shook down to his toes, holding you tight as he mewled, “Oh god, oh god, fffucking hurts, can’t stop, baby y-ya feel s’good.”

Poor baby had milked himself dry after two more loads, gasping and making the prettiest little hitched noises. You’d led the pliant super soldier to the shower and tended to him, Buck was out to the park after all that intense sensation, hell, sensuality.

He’d softly thank you over and over again between apologies, until the big teddy fell asleep in your arms, puffing softly. Buck wouldn’t have a nightmare that night. Nor many another night after wearing himself out.

No penetration yet, but fucking close. He wasn’t quite ready for that. You knew he was in some sort of phase, spurred on by whatever occurred in Madripoor. He wouldn’t elaborate but said it made him want human touch again. He’d fess up when he was ready, because then you’d let the needy baby fuck.

Walking into your apartment with a sprawled Bucky red faced and teary made you wonder if he was ready. His cock was red and obscenely engorged, leaking copious precum, balls just as heavy looking. The soldier had pushed his briefs down and looked like he’d been at it for awhile based on the redness and his sweaty chest. You swallowed back some drool. Fuck.

“Honey? Bucky? What’s going on?”

A divine whimper graced your senses. His lashes were thick and clumped from tears. Bucky whined, “Need you, my h-hands, fuck!” He bit down on his lip roughly, obviously frustrated. Blood dribbled down Buck’s stubbled chin.

Dropping your stuff and bolting over to your lover had him barely relax, hiccuping a bit. You straddled his lap, careful not to irritate or stimulate too much. Grabbing his gorgeous face with two hands you stared calmly, as one would to a child coming down from a tantrum, “Baby. Need you to take a couple breaths and tell me what’s going on.”

His chest stuttered, breath thin, you instructing some box breathing, counting for Bucky. You could feel him relax underneath you, pulse lowering, that residual twitching dying down. Your lover blinked a couple of times, lips pulled into a frown.

Now gently scratching his scalp you tried again, “Can you tell me what’s going on sweetheart? Something happened in Madripoor. I want to help, I can help if you just talk baby boy.”

His gaze held your own, a gritting of his jaw and slow exhale. Bucky’s mismatched hands slid carefully up the tops of your thighs to grip your hips. The brunette rasped, “We did a ploy. I played…him..to get information we needed. Whole set up with Zemo trying to sell me. It reminded me of my,” he gulped, “other uses.”

“Oh fuck, I’m sorry, no,” you rambled while pulling him in closer. Bucky eased back and shook his head, “You make it easier. I just…I..I have trouble doing anything without orders right now. I’ve been too- ugh fuck- embarrassed to say anything. But goddamn if I’m not horny all the time, it’s so twisted.” He tucked wet lashes against your neck, steadying his breathing.

You did some deductions in your head. Bucky had been sating any sort of carnal urges on his own. The little ploy had switched that button deep in Buck’s brain that he needed orders to cum. No wonder he’d been so needy, begging you for release, your lover had been in a mindfuck for two months.

You cooed, “Oh Buck, you can tell me anything, c’mon now. I’m not shaming you one bit. If we need to work through this we will.” Poor thing looked like he was going to cry again, nipping that swollen bottom lip. You shoved your thumb between those pretty lips and hummed, “Stop beating yourself up. I’m more than happy to order my handsome boy around.”

Bucky had instinctively opened to accept your digit, cheeks flaming harder than before. You softly pressed down on his tongue, the brunette drooling and jerking underneath you. The tension seemed to melt out of his body with this one authoritative action.

“Such a sweetheart, can’t help it, don’t worry, we’ll get you back in charge in no time. But just relax for now,” you swiped a tear away, “I’m not going to hurt a hair on your pretty head. Thank you for telling me.”

He whined around your thumb, more and more drool leaking onto a strong chest. You hummed, “I’m going to suck your cock.” It felt almost dirty but Bucky whimpering around your thumb was a relief, a gargled, “Pleaaaaseee.”

Sliding your thumb out of his puffy lips, Bucky made another pitiful noise at the loss. When your slick thumb swirled around his purpling cockhead the brunette shouted in surprise, hands gripping into the couch cushions.

“Going to suck your cock and you’re gonna love it, pretty boy,” you cooed, breathing over where he needed it most. A dollop of pre dribbled out, your tongue lapping it up gently. Buck’s thighs twitched and he moaned, throwing his head back. The cushion ripped on his left side.

You swirled your tongue around the bulbous tip, lapping on the underside just to hear him gasp your name. Popping off you rasped, “Grab my hair, you can move me to your pace.” He nodded disjointedly, flesh hand ever so carefully rerouting to your ponytail.

You began to bob down the length on him, other hand crawling up to caress and gently squeeze his hefty balls. Poor Buck, all backed up. He needed to cum bad. His voice came out as a thin whine, “Ohaaaahhh- wha- I’ve never.” You couldn’t help but smile at being his first.

Satisfaction that no one forcibly took this intimate act from him, not to mention you beat out likely someone’s great grandmother to suck the great Bucky Barnes’ dick. Licking and humming on a vein had your own throat stretching and slick, drool collecting around your obscenely stretched lips.

You fucking loved sucking cock. Especially such a big boy’s like Bucky’s. His hips jerked, forcing the blunt tip down your throat, you finally swallowing him down the best you could. Swallow swallow swallow, this was for your baby. Bucky’s built chest shuddered with his staccato breath, babbling, “So good baby s’good s’good, ohmyfuck.”

He whined again when you came up for air, drooling and heaving over that gorgeous prick. Bucky whimpered, “You look pretty, can I cum? Soon? Please?” You nodded, voice hoarse, “No more deep but I want you to fill my throat with all that cum. You have all the permission, actually, an order to cum.”

It didn’t take long of you humming and shallowly bobbing on his rapidly swelling cock for the first load to come. Bucky’s heavy balls contracted and drew tight under your palm, sending hot seed down your throat. You eagerly swallowed, sucking harder if anything. Bucky moaned and cried, squirming, legs sluttily spreading by the second climax.

You so desperately wanted to fuck around with that tender skin behind his balls but stuck to rolling and squeezing. You suckled on the crown, flicking tongue at the quickest speed, the poor thing warning with a sob, “Again!” He filled your mouth up this round, a fucking surprise, damn super soldiers. Dutifully gulping it again you slurped up excess drool and slowed the pace until Bucky was shying away, mewling.

Gently tucking him back in you wiped your mouth, laughing softly at the drool covering your blouse. God knows how wet your panties were. Bucky panted and hugged you oh-so-tight, warbling the cutest thanks. Wrapping back around Buck you curled the hair growing out around his ears and pressed little kisses to his cheeks.

“I’ve got you baby, we can do orders until you’re up to par. Feeling better?”

He rasped softly, “So much better, god, thank you.”

“No need, I love you. You know that. I’m quite satisfied I was the first to give you head.”

Pressing your lips to another stray tear he repeated it back, “Love you too, angel.” He smiled dopily, “The last too, that mouth works wonders.”

[sideblogformindtrash]

Chad the good lad as requested.

cw: pet whump; begging for punishment; shouting; mentioned whipping;

Thud. 

He turns around startled, his first thought that one of his teammates finally caught him stealing the cheese sticks during the night… But no. He blinks a bit, closing the fridge and studying the darkness until he sees a shape on the floor. 

Chad turns the lights on first, seeing Sweet Pea holds something up for him, head down, arms lifted. A phone, with the screen cracked. Hesitantly, Chad takes it. It’s his phone, and it’s now broken and locked for a couple hours.

If it was anyone else, he would be upset. But this situation is just… surreal, because never has he been apologized to by someone on their knees, pale, and scared, terrified of being hit. He never understood pets, the very idea disturbed him, and now that Sweet Pea lived with them, that was only made worse… Because most of the time, he was just a fun little guy. And then sometimes… he was like this.

“What happened?” He finally says, Sweet Pea letting go of the breath he was holding.

“I wanted to call my Master” he admits, a tone carefully crafted in his voice, void of his usual snarkiness “But I couldn’t guess the code… So I got upset and… Threw it”

Chad just stares, kind of hoping Sweet Pea will just get up. He doesn’t, he just waits, until Sweet Pea gets tired of it.

“Hurt me” He explains, shivering for what he has been waiting.

"Sweet Pea-"

"No. Hurt me. Break me like I broke your phone"

Chad looks down, caressing the crack on the screen and avoiding Sweet Pea’s eyes.

"Is not that big of a deal. It's fine "

"it's not" Sweet Pea shudders, the salty tone returning "You don't know shit, do you."

His lips quiver, as he stares down, and he fights the tears. 

"... I know I don't want to do that" He puts his phone back on his pocket “If it was your Master… he would?”

“...Yes” He says soflty “He’d whip me”

“...Did you… like getting whipped?” Chad frowns.

“No. Of course not. it’s punishment” Sweet Pea says, still controlling himself. He’s scared, too scared to even be snobbish.

“Then… why do you want it?”

“Makes me better” he mumbles.

“Better… for who?” Chad leans back “Not better for you, is it?”

Sweet Pea lifts his eyes, slowly getting up from the floor.

“I don’t live for me” he mumbles.

“Maybe you… You should. You are kind of… stuck with yourself”

Sweet Pea looks down, shakes his head.

“The longer I stay away, the more it will hurt the day he gets me back”

“Well…” Chad tries to smile, tries to approach “What if he doesn’t? You could-”

“DON’T TELL ME TO HAVE HOPE” Sweet Pea shouts, and steps back, all his fury shining through… But tears coming to his eyes, just as much “Can’t you see how cruel that is?”

“Sweet Pea-”

“No. No. Don’t make me like living here, don’t make me think this can last because it won’t. And when he find me, when he has me back, it will hurt so much more. I hate this. I hate you. I want to go back”

He steps away, slamming the door, and going to cry in the corner, hugging his plushie. Angry tears, he tells himself, even if he knows they are not.

[sideblogformindtrash]

Sweet Pea wants to know how dare you compare him to that poor disgusting simple peasant cheap common low cost economic price pet that has no place being snobish and-

YOU HAVE SOOTY BULLY COLTON??? oh jail for cerys!!! (but please tell me more about sooty’s personality? is he a bit like sweetpea maybe??) - newbornwhumperfly

@sideblogformindtrash oh sweetpea <33

no Sooty isn't as.. pompous as him, he's a good boy that just doesn't need to be friends with this other weird pet ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Sooty doesn't have to be nice to him, in fact Col is one of the only beings in the world that Sooty doesn't have to be sugary sweet to, so he can just.... relax. tell Col to shut up if he wants to have some quiet for two seconds

hes not 100% mean, and he may turn out a little different when I actually sit down and write him. you know how sometimes characters have a mind of their own from the beginning 🤠

[bestofasbestos]

trailer thoughts:

titans are badass

jim looks so ragged my poor little meow meow

STRICKLER IN HUMANS CLOTHES ♥️

"and blinky" yeah he's gonna die

claire doing more badass magic

belroc seggsy as always. enbyboss

JIM WEILDING EXCALIBUR WHO WILL HE KILL

STUART!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MY BELOVED

big mech varvatos!!! big mech varvatos!!!

toby being a sweet pea ♥️

douxie being douxie ♥️

I am vibrating at and incredible speed

[heytherejulietx]

For the blorbo, scrunkly etc. ask game: Riverdale, if you'd like!

ty for sending in the ask love! <3

blorbo (favourite character, character i think about the most) - jughead

scrunkly (my “baby”, character that gives me cuteness aggression, character that is so shaped) - jughead season one 🥰 also betty s1/2

scrimblo bimblo (underrated / unappreciated fave) - dilton doiley ✋rip scoutmaster doiley 😪 @leebydeeby

glup shitto (obscure fave, character that can appear in the background for 0.2 seconds and i won’t shut up about it for a week) - sweet pea bc he needs to show up more again

poor little meow meow (“problematic” / unpopular / controversial / otherwise pathetic fave) - brett LMAO

horse plinko (character i would torment for fun, for whatever reason) - hiram simply because his plans are all so stupid and idk how he actually achieved any of it. also archie because yeah

eeby deeby (character i would send to superhell) - archie 🤢

send me a fandom…

[iliveinprocrasti-nationn]

riverdale blorbos.iknow u have them

have i become a riverdale person <3 this is so tragic (i am watching riverdale while writing this)

blorbo (favorite character, character I think about the most): hmmm..... idk if i have a definitive fave. it was 100% jughead originally, archie is having his moments, and also uncle frank? i think abt a lot of them actually. currently it's josie for calling hiram a little bitch three times to his face. it might end up being archie overall

scrunkly (my “baby”, character that gives me cuteness aggression, character that is So Shaped): sweet pea. or young fangs. definitely shaped

scrimblo bimblo (underrated/underappreciated fave): reggie <3 bestie what is going on and why does your morality vary every time we see u. im obsessed with u

glup shitto (obscure fave, character that can appear in the background for 0.2 seconds and I won’t shut up about it for a week): JUNKYARD STEVE

poor little meow meow (“problematic”/unpopular/controversial/otherwise pathetic fave): most pathetic fave is definitely jughead. poor little meow meow supreme. wet cat. he might have had rabies canonically

horse plinko (character I would torment for fun, for whatever reason): hiram. or chad. probably more chad

eeby deeby (character I would send to superhell): penny peabody. HATE her

[webrokethe4thwall]

Could you please write some about Draxum finally agreeing to go out on one date with Carol's daughter. While he hates every second of it.

Draxum couldn’t fathom how his life had gotten to this point. One day, he was a warring warrior scientist trying to build an army, and now he was a lunch lady serving pea soup to a bunch of hormonal, emotionally-charged teenage fleshbags. He was on his way up to his apartment when he remembered the ��mailbox” that April had mentioned he should check on a daily basis. He had barely gotten the envelopes out of the wretched thing when a manicured hand slammed it shut.

“Barry!” A shrill voice crowed in his ear.

Not again, Draxum thought tiredly. He didn’t even turn to look the woman in the eyes as he droned, “What do you want, Carol?”

Carol grinned that toothy, wide, even-Draxum-could-tell-it-was-fake smile. The yokai knew what was coming next. This sixty-something-year-old woman was unrelenting.

“My daughter is visiting me this weekend,” Carol said airily. “It would be a shame if she couldn’t meet my big strong neighbor.”

“For the last time, Carol,” Draxum said, turning to go up the stairs, “I have no interest in meeting your daughter!”

He missed how the grin turned predatory.

“Ah, but I do suppose you have an interest in keeping your dogs?” Carol asked a smidgen too sweetly.

Draxum turned to see her holding an envelope sealed with an official mark of the city. It was probably the bill from the dog catcher who inadvertently reunited him with Huginn and Muninn.

“Now, I don’t know why you named me as the owner for the two mongrels that wrecked half the city, but I do know that if I don’t pay this bill the city will come after the true owner and the animals at fault,” Carol explained. “However, I might be willing to overlook this moment of identity theft and pay the bill.”

The way she ended her sentence as she dragged out the last word, as though she was going to continue speaking, left Draxum with a sinking feeling in his belly. He hated this woman. He hated her with his entire being! However, his and his gargoyles’ safety was at risk.... Was this... was this what having a family is like? Gross.

“What time do you want me to come by?” Draxum sighed heavily.

Carol squealed and jumped with victory. “Meet us at noon in the park on Saturday. Susan and I will be waiting by the fountain. You can even bring your doggies!”

So, Draxum spent the rest of his week getting ‘dating advice’ from April and the turtles, who had never been on a date themselves but claimed that ‘otome were close enough, right?,’ and Splinter/Lou Jitsu, who blew through a starlet a week when he was human. He bought two red collars for Huginn and Muninn, who absolutely loved them for some unfathomable reason, and prepared himself for the dreaded weekend.

Around noon, Draxum—pardon Barry—arrived at the Central Park fountain with Huginn and Muninn crawling on the ground.

“Why do we have to do this?” Huginn asked, scratching at where the collar met his neck with a hind leg.

“Because the human Carol is annoying and manipulative,” Draxum stated dully.

“I think that Carol-woman is a demon,” Muninn muttered, sniffing at the ground.

“No arguments there,” Draxum replied.

“No arguments about what?” a new voice asked.

Draxum spun around to see a human woman standing behind him. She looked familiar in a strange way. Almost...

“Uh, nothing,” Draxum said.

The woman smiled. “You must be Barry. I’m Amy.”

That was why this woman looked so familiar! She looked like a younger version of Carol, except for a brown bob-cut instead of bleached blonde fake curls. That feeling of dread and resentment settled firmly in Draxum’s stomach.

“Greetings, Amy,” Draxum said stiffly. Be cordial, be civil, do it for the gargoyles. “Where is Carol? I assumed she would be here as well.”

Amy shrugged, saying, “That’s Mom for you. She’s always running late.”

Of course she is, Draxum thought darkly. “Should we wait for her?”

Amy’s cell phone beeped. “Pardon me.” She quickly checked the screen then shook her head in disappointment. “Looks like Mom can’t make it. She says she’s feeling a little under the weather, but to have fun.”

As the human squinted down at her screen, Draxum ground his teeth. That devil woman set me up!

Huginn and Muninn glanced at each other. The sun was shining, the sky was clear, but there was a storm cloud brewing over their boss. They knew they had to do something to calm Draxum down. If they didn’t, the yokai was sure to explode and take half the park with him.

“Eh, meow?” Huginn and Muninn chorused, bumping their heads into Draxum’s shins.

Amy blinked. “Did your dogs just... meow?”

“No!” Draxum shouted, immediately on the defensive. “Because dogs don’t meow; they bark!”

“Er, okay,” Amy replied before kneeling down to meet the gargoyles. “What are their names? They’re kinda funny looking dogs. What breed are they?”

That’s because they’re gargoyles, not dogs, you stupid— Draxum ground out a smile. He had to keep the mystic stuff on the down-low or else he and his “pets” were in deep trouble. “This one is Huginn, and this one is Muninn.” He pointed to the gargoyle that each name belonged to. “They are mutts from the same litter.”

“Such dynamic names for such good boys!” Amy gushed, giving each ‘dog’ a scritch, or seven in Muninn’s case, behind the ears before standing back up.

“Yes,” Draxum drew out. “Shall we... go for a walk?”

“Yes!” Amy cheered. “Walkies for the puppies! May I hold one of their leashes?”

Your mother tricks me to go on a date with you, and now you want one of my gargoyles?!

Before Draxum could deny her request, Muninn surged forwards and wrapped his leash around Amy’s legs. He had the brains to actually bark when pressed his forearms to her legs and ‘wagged his tail.’ Sighing, Draxum handed the human Muninn’s leash after untangling her from the excited gargoyle’s idiocy.

“Let’s be off!” Amy declared, looping a thin arm around one of Draxum’s thick biceps and boldly moving forward.

That’s how Draxum’s afternoon went—hours at the park just walking, listening to the excitable human woman yammering on about how sweet his ‘dogs’ were and various other animals on top of that, getting some ice cream at one point, and even squashing a rogue oozesquito or two. Draxum did not need a freak mutation in the middle of an already awful day. He still had to pick up Sloppy Joseph from the turtles once he was done with Amy. They eventually rounded back to the fountain they started at.

They came to a stop, and Huginn and Muninn dove headfirst into the filthy fountain water for a drink. Their gargoyle stomachs were strong. They could handle the minerals pervading the water from the multitude of dirty coins resting at the bottom of the pool.

“I should apologize to you, Barry,” Amy said. “My mom forced you to do this didn’t she?”

“She’s blackmailing me and my... dogs,” Draxum stated bluntly. He was having a bad day, and he wasn’t above letting the woman it revolved around know it. “They had run off a couple months ago, and I found them again last week on the streets. They had evidently caused a mess, and I had the fine sent to Carol because she won’t ever stop pestering me about you. Why is she so insistent?!”

Amy grimaced, vaguely gestured, and muttered, “I, uh, don’t want to have kids, get married, or settle down in any way with anybody. I just want to have an apartment full of pets that I can devote my time to. She wants to have human grandbabies and not fur babies.”

Draxum raised an eyebrow. It seems he wasn’t the only one having a bad day. “That’s your choice, not hers.”

“Right?!” Amy agreed exasperated. “But she keeps throwing random people at me, hoping that I’ll ‘meet the right one’ and give her what she wants!” Amy sighed and stood up, appearing ready to leave the park. “Listen, I’ll make sure Mom pays that bill and leaves you alone, okay?”

“You have my thanks,” Draxum said carefully. “Carol needs to stay out of everyone’s business, including her child’s.”

Amy smiled. “You have my thanks for that, Barry; and thank you for letting me walk Muninn! You’re dogs are really sweet.”

“Only when we want to be,” Huginn said cheerily from the fountain.

Amy blinked, pointed double finger guns at the black talking definitely-not-dogs-anymore creatures on the fountain, and looked at Draxum.

At a loss, Draxum was too tired and frustrated to do more than shrug. The human clearly wasn’t stupid, so there was no point in lying to her. “They’re gargoyles.” Amy aimed one finger gun to point at the sun. “Different breed.”

“Huh,” Amy hummed. “So, I am made of questions about how to care for gargoyles now because I never thought of mythical creatures as an option for fur babies.”

Draxum looked at Amy in shock. She was at the advantage here. She held all of his secrets and the safety of his little family at her fingertips. Yet all this odd human cared about was the possibility of having a gargoyle of her own?

���Um, okay.”

Amy sat back down next to Draxum. They spoke for hours more about gargoyles, other mystical animals that made good or poor pets, and a little bit about Sloppy Joseph.

Draxum came to a conclusion as he came home that day: dates were horrible, making human friends and spending time with them wasn’t that bad, and he would find an oozesquito if Amy so much as hinted that Carol was pushing her to find a mate again.

[cottagecorewhore420]

One Broken Headphone

A fluffy, WLW, protective girlfriend short <3 ~ 2500 words <3

I hope you enjoy reading it! Please lmk what you think :)

tw: brief mention of physical assault

Corrine had gone downstairs to get the delivery- which thank gods, she was starving. If Marcie didn’t get crab ragoon in her stomach within the next five minutes, she couldn’t and wouldn’t be held liable for any damages incurred.

Right as she was starting to fantasize about the fried piece of heaven her girlfriend was currently tasked with obtaining, a huge clap of thunder shook the apartment.

Philly, the large and skittish cat who Corrine had adopted off the street a year ago, mewled pitifully before a dart of white crossed the room. Apparently, it seemed as if Philly was scared of thunderstorms, if her current location of under-the-loveseat was any indication.

Way too often in Marcie’s past had people called her a bleeding-heart, but even now, when obviously the cat was beyond safe from the storm, she felt a jolt in her chest at the poor, scared, little baby.

“Hey, hey, it’s okay, I promise-,” she dropped down to her knees, and slowly began crawling over to the couch, moving slowly and purposefully as to avoid scaring the cat any further. She had only just started being trusted by the animal, and she didn’t want to backtrack any progress, especially since she knew how scared Philly was right now.

She received a meow as she continued closer- which, really, was better than nothing.

As another clap of thunder resounded outside, she idly worried about Corrine, but considering Corrine was a fully functioning human adult, and Philly was an anti-social terrified cat, her loyalties at the moment were a little more inclined to making sure the latter was okay. She started moving towards her again, and in doing so heard a crunch underneath her left knee- looking down, disheartened, she saw the broken right earbud of Corrine’s headphones she used on her laptop.

Before she had time to wallow in the fact that she had just broken her girlfriend’s headphones, Philly yowled and jumped from her position under the couch into Marcie’s lap, covering up the now-useless wires with her copious fur.

The cat was obviously really scared of the onslaught of rain outside, and Marcie’s bleeding heart beat again in sympathy for the poor cat, who assuredly had endured these kinds of storms by herself on the streets before Corrine found her.

With that sad thought, she mournfully began petting the fat feline in her lap, talking softly to her, trying to steel herself to telling Corrine that she had broken her earbuds.

~

“Corrine, I’m so sorry! I just, I- the thunder started, and I watched Philly dart under the couch, and she was so scared of the storm, and I knelt down to talk to her, and I heard a crack- it- I’m- I’ll buy you a new pair, I promise, I’m really sorry!”

All of this was said through a rush of words and teary eyes, the avalanche of apology hitting her as soon as Corrine walked back into the living room with their food.

Marcie looked near tears, sitting on the floor looking dejectedly up at Corrine’s standing-form, and yet, despite her obvious upset, she wouldn’t stop petting and comforting the cat that had been the cause of- well, what was Marcie upset about?

“Wait- I’m confused. What happened?”

Marcie thrusted the pair of earbuds at her, the right one’s speaker pitfully haning out of the in-ear part, obviously broken.

Looking down at the misty-eyed woman, who felt obviously horrible about breaking some old pair of headphones, because she had been trying to comfort a cat- who was even NOW, while upset, more obviously invested in the wellbeing of a cat who wasn’t even hers, Corrine was struck with the thought of “oh, fuck- I love her.”

“Hey, hey, Marcie, it’s okay, I promise.” She set the bags of food on the coffee table, and leaned down to sit next to Philly and her girlfriend.

“First and foremost, I’m glad you were up here to comfort Philly- she’s always reacted really badly to storms. I actually found her right after one, when she was meowing behind the dumpster out back.”

She could see the anguish that caused Marcie, to think of the sweet if not slightly-anti-social cat as sad and lonely.

“Secondly, I have had to headphones for I-don’t-even-know how long, baby. Seriously. I have like three others like that anyways somewhere in my room.”

Marcie looked up from where she had been resolutely staring at Philly’s back, seemingly studying the calico coloration in an attempt to not look up to Corrine.

“Also, honestly, that’s my fault, I’m the one who has a habit of sitting on the floor and then leaving stuff- I promise that’s not the first thing of mine that’s been broken because of me being forgetful.”

“Thirdly, I’m not mad, or upset, or secretly resentful- okay? I promise. I do not care about those headphones. They’re just an object, sweet pea.”

They lapsed into a terse silence, both petting Philly who was purring loudly at the attention, before Marcie spoke up.

“I- ahem. Um.” She swallowed past a lump in her throat, tearing her hand and eyes away from Philly and looking out to the balcony, looking through the window at the storm.

She focused on the sheets of rain as she steadied herself. “My last girlfriend- I accidently broke her- I broke her laptop charger one day. Like, the cable insulator part. I didn’t mean to! She had asked me to plug in her computer, but it wouldn’t attach, so I had taken it out and went to put it back in, and I guess the insulation maybe was unraveling or something, which wasn’t good, cuz it just snapped…”

Corrine was only idly stroking her cats’ fur now, staring at Marcie’s turned-away face, studying the obvious tension.

“She freaked out. She started yelling at me, and saying that I…” Marcie seemed to steal herself, looking out to the balcony intently, as if she was staring down the rain in a battle of wills. “She was saying how I was a complete fuck up, and she didn’t know why she even bothers with me. And that I owed her a new charger, and then she- ahem.”

There was a growing pit of dread in Corrine’s stomach, but she could see that this was something important to discuss if they wanted to build a long lasting, strong relationship. She needed to show Marcie she was safe, now, and protected. And it seemed Marcie needed to heal from this, too.

“She got really pissed, and she had gotten laid off earlier that week. That’s why her computer needed to be plugged in, she had been looking at jobs online for so long. She was just really, really stressed, and then I think I just was the thing that- “

“Baby,” Anne stopped stroking Philly, who seemed wholly unbothered now that the thunder had turned to just heavy rain. The calico got up and walked off elsewhere, apparently content with the amount of attention she had been bestowed. “Why are you excusing her?”

Anne reached out to grab Marcie’s hand, and when she did, Marcie’s head whipped around from her watch point, out to the balcony- there was tears welling up in her eyes, and her nose was bright red. “She hit me. Not just once, but like. A couple of times. She was really stressed, and she just- she started screaming and hitting me and she was so mad, and I- “she started sobbing, and lunged into Anne’s waiting arms, where Anne started comforting her, whispering similar platitudes to the ones Marcie had coaxed Philly with earlier.

“Baby, shh, it’s ok. I am so sorry that ever happened to you- that’s not right. I don’t care if her whole family died in a plane crash and then she got fired and stubbed all her toes. That is no excuse to ever hit you, Marsha Braun.” The serious tone coming from her usually-jovial girlfriend, along with her given name, made Marcie pull back and look into Anne’s eyes, seeming to search for something.

Anne sat there, idly reminded of when her uncle and she would wait patiently in the woods for the baby deer to approach.

Whatever Marcie was searching for, she apparently needed to find. When it seems she was satisfied, Marcie lunged forward again, but to hug Anne, locking her arms around her neck and pressing a kiss into the woman’s juncture between shoulder and neck.

“I was so scared when it happened, Annie.”

Anne’s heart cracked at hearing that, the words reverberated within her, sounding hollow. Marcie was such an abundantly kind, generous, loving person. The idea that anyone could do something such as strike her, multiple times, for doing nothing more than trying to do a favor- it made a fire boil in her veins.

“I’m so so sorry, kitten. I will never, ever, let you feel like that again.” And she meant it. Anne may not look intimidating, but her 12 years of Judo and ample weapons training said otherwise. She had a protective streak a mile wide when it came to those she cared about, and Marcie quickly was entering that realm, despite the two of them only having dated for going-on five months.

“I like that.” The words were soft, breathed into her neck.

“What?” Circles and nonsensical patterns were drawn on Marcie’s back, in comforting sweeps.

“Kitten. I like that- “Here, she yawned widely, also into Anne’s neck. “I like that a lot.”

“Tired?”

“I’m sorry- we haven’t even eaten yet and I know you’re hungry and we haven’t seen each other in days-“

“Baby, kitten, shh- I am hungry, so I’ll go ahead and eat my half while you take a short nap next to me on the couch, hmm? That way you get some beauty sleep, not that you need it-“

Marcie gave a shy grin.

“-and I get to eat my General Tso’s and watch whatever show I want, without having to battle somebody over Kitchen Nightmares or Hotel Hell. And, of course, I get to be next to the prettiest woman in the world while doing so.”

“I love you.”

Holyshitholyshitholyshit- They hadn’t said that yet. They were going tragically slow, and then she just says that! Marcie just said that! Anne’s heart constricted slightly, and she could practically hear the concerto playing in her brain, a cacophony of emotions.

“I love you too, Marcie.”

~

“Y’know… sometimes I worry it was my fault. She did it more than just the one time. I didn’t leave right away. I just- she had made me feel really really bad about myself. Like she was right, that nobody would want to put up with me. She only slapped me around a few more times-“

A few more times too many thought Anne darkly, listening as Marcie spoke, her voice projecting upwards into the blackness of their bedroom. She was laying on her back, looking to the ceiling, sidled up next to Anne.

“But… the last time, she had slapped me around and then was really pissed and she threw something at Benji. And I just- I felt so bad for my poor boy. He did nothing to deserve that, and I couldn’t let him stay there any more. It didn’t hurt him, thank god, but I left that night.”

Benji. The huge golden retriever that Macie loved; the one she had to put down a few weeks before she and Anne met.

She had only known about the dog through pictures and stories, but she knew he was Marcie’s childhood dog, and she had had him all the way up through college. She had loved Benji so much.

Anne was filled with aches in her soul- anger, brittle and sharp at Marcie’s ex. Rounded, hollow pain for Benji, who was gone. A resounding ache, pointed, for Marcie’s hurt. She didn’t know what else to say, so she said all she could think.

“I’m happy you left.”

“Yeah… me too.”

As they drifted into silence, Anne said a silent prayer, sent up to a golden retriever named Benji, in thanks for protecting her now-girlfriend from herself, when she hadn’t been there to do so.

She hoped the old dog would have liked her- she certainly liked his owner.

[felicismagic18873]

Beyond the Blaze (Prologue)

Summary: 4 Years old, Alyssa Potter finds her life taking a magical turn as she steps into a world of cute green giants, talking robots and misunderstood aliens. All of it is almost enough to make her forget the probable destruction of her own world.

Word Count: 1.1k

Vernon Dursley was a man of habit. His day always began and ended the exact same way, feeling proud of all his accomplishments and wondering about his promotion.

If asked, Vernon would have said that that particular Wednesday was exactly like all the Wednesdays prior. After all, he began it the same way he always did and it would end like all the other Wednesdays did. Even though this was going to be an extraordinary day, a day to be remembered for the rest of Vernon's life. He just thought it was another normal Wednesday.

Releasing the breath he didn't know he was holding in, Vernon took another bite of his dinner. He could see Petunia trying to make little Dudley eat his peas from the corner of his eye and wasn't able to hold in a chuckle when Dudley hit his mother with the spoon. ''Little tyke'' He smiled fondly. He sighed as the news about the abnormal activities played again and picked up the remote.

Owls filling up the sky, people wearing weird clothes, star showers.

He and Petunia had had an uncomfortable talk about her sister. She didn't say much but he knew that she too was afraid that all this had something to do with her sister's lot.

He changed the channel to a business one instead. At least they won't show the news about those people.

After all they had done to distance themselves from them he would not allow such a disturbance in their life.

Petunia always introduced herself as a single child and it was an unspoken rule that no one was to mention her sister, they just pretended that she did not exist; it was as if her name was a taboo in the house.

Though Fate it seems to work in unusual ways since he would be thinking about her for many days to come.

After getting ready for bed, Vernon checked the phone again to make sure it was properly connected.

"I should have gotten the call for confirmation a week ago." He shook his head with disappointment. Maybe everyone was right, expecting a promotion a year into a new job was foolish. Maybe it just wasn't meant to be.

With another heavy sigh, he went back to his room. While his lovely wife slept as soon as her head hit the pillow, he could not shake the feeling that something big was going to happen soon. It was hours before sleep came to him.

Outside the house, a cat's meow was heard before all the lights went out.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Vernon's feeling was proven to be true the next morning when his wife went to put out the milk bottles. Petunia screeched like one of the stuck drills and came running into the house speaking gibberish.

"That-That-I Won't! I refuse!" She mumbled wringing her hands.

"Pet," He slowly pulled her hand towards him instead, "Sit down.Breathe." He made her sit next to him on the couch. He patted her back as she, gasping and red with anger or fear, told him about the basket outside. A basket with a child.

"What are we going to do, Vernon. What do we do!" She thrust a crumpled up letter in his hand and continued chewing on her nails, a habit he was sure she'd gotten rid of.  He cast a careless glance over the letter.

"It's alright, Sweat Pea. I'll go take care of it.", and with that, he went to see why the 'thing' had made her so hysterical.

He clutched the letter in his hand, the carelessly read words seemed to repeat over and over in his head. Images of how a child of one of them might look took over his mind as he approached the knows, maybe they had horns when they were younger or something weird-his thoughts came to a halt and the frown on his face faded as his eyes fell on the child. He so wasn't prepared to see big green eyes looking at him with interest.

The child was sitting up in the basket, her one hand was clutching her blanket and the other rubbing her eye as she looked at him.

He could feel his breath and heartbeat slowed down with every step he took. Panic gave away to wonder. 'Too lovely for a freak.' The unwelcome thought popped up in his mind.

It was a little girl. If he remembered right, she was just a few months younger than his Dudley. Her soft black curls were framing her face as big green eyes clouded with sleep looked at him. It looked like she was analyzing him before a small sleepy smile formed on her plump pink lips.

Vernon Dursley was not what you would call a 'kind man' but looking at the little girl who had just lost her parents even he felt pity. He picked her up and had to push away the feeling of something as she put her head on his shoulder yawning.

10 minutes later, he sat on the sofa with his head in his hands. His wife was, once again, repeating her tantrum about her sister and how 'the freak should have gone to the orphanage. What are we going to do with her!'.

The baby was sleeping next to him, still holding onto her blanket like it was a lifeline. Someone, her mother most likely, had done embroidery on the blanket writing the name Alyssa potter.  He tried very hard but couldn't relate her to the freaks his wife used to tell him about. How could anyone look at her sweet, slightly dirty, face and see the monster that his wife believed her to be?

Maybe the child was different?

The thought gave him some comfort. He could tell the girl would turn out to be quite beautiful and he always did want a lovely daughter to show off. Maybe she wasn't like those freaks? After all he, himself was different from his late good for nothing poor father. His thoughts slowly led towards a scenario that he was sure his wife wouldn't like.

The phone started ringing. Vernon absently put the couch cushions around that kid so she wouldn't fall. He cast a look at his raging wife and went to pick up the phone. She probably wouldn't be thinking straight for some time.

"Good Morning. Is this Mr.Vernon Dursley? I am speaking from Awl Drilling company-", Vernon's eyes widened before turning to the child. What were the odds that the call he was waiting for two months arrived right after the child did?

He took a deep breath, wondering how to tell his wife about his sudden but probably fruitful decision.

Far above from a place unseen, a dark entity looked on with a smile. The game, as they say, was on.

[artificialqueens]

Gold Dust Woman Ch. 6 (Shalaska) - Citrus

a/n: okay, now that i’ve finally posted the rest of this fic on aq, you guys can look forward to some exciting things involving this au… i won’t reveal them here yet, but you’ll find out soon enough! enjoy this final chapter if you haven’t already!

The bell over the door of Dead Dandelion jingled as a tall blonde strolled in, flashing a smile to the purple-haired girl at the counter.

“Hi, Laila. Is Sharon in the back?”

The girl nodded. “She’s doing a reading, doesn’t wanna be bothered.”

“Right,” Alaska said, “I’ll just… wait for her.” She crossed the shop to a wall displaying necklaces with crystal pendants, examining the tags of each. Amethyst for dreams and protections, lapis lazuli for healing, rose quartz for love… Something made of rose quartz would be a sweet gift for Sharon, Alaska thought to herself, as long as it didn’t come from her own store.

She was so absorbed in admiring the various stones and necklaces that she didn’t even notice someone sneaking up behind her, until a pair of strong arms wound around her waist and soft hair tickled her collarbones.

“Hi, pumpkin,” Sharon murmured, and Alaska broke out in a smile, leaning back against her.

“Hi,” she giggled in reply, enjoying the comfort of Sharon’s embrace. “I missed you.”

Sharon laughed at that, pressing a kiss to her girlfriend’s shoulder. “It’s been, like, a week” she grinned. Alaska turned around, letting Sharon adjust her arms around her, and put her own arms around the witch’s neck.

“Shut up,” she grinned indignantly, pretending to be affronted. “I still missed you, Noodles.” Sharon kissed her cheek softly, her lips lingering for a little while before pulling back.

“I missed you too,” she admitted with a small smile. “How was work?”

Alaska shrugged. “Pretty normal. I had to clean up after some idiot who spilled an entire 2-liter of Coke and didn’t tell anyone, though. My back hurts from scrubbing every fuckin’ crevice below the shelves.” Sharon cooed softly and rubbed little circles into the small of Alaska’s back, cupping her cheek with the other hand.

“Aww, poor baby… If you wanna wait like fifteen more minutes I can take you to mine and give you a little massage, if that’d make you feel better.” Alaska blushed, rubbing the back of her neck nervously.

“Only if you want to,” she mumbled. Sharon grinned and gave her a quick peck on the lips.

“I wouldn’t’ve offered if I didn’t want to, sweet pea. As long as you don’t mind waiting ‘til my shift ends.”

Alaska nodded, reluctantly pulling away from Sharon and taking a step back. “Go do your work, silly,” she grinned.

“Don’t tell me what to do, I’m a punk bitch,” Sharon teased, blowing a kiss before retreating to another corner of the store to fix a tarot display that had been messed with by curious customers. Alaska watched her girlfriend out of the corner of her eye, trying to keep the smile off of her face; Sharon was undeniably in her element here, and Alaska wished she loved her job as much as Sharon loved hers.

Alaska examined a new book display that had been changed up since the last time she’d been there, picking up a few of the titles and reading the blurbs on the back. Quite a few of them were books on witchcraft for beginners, and Alaska was intrigued by these; she’d been pondering whether she should learn more about what Sharon did, and if she was lucky, maybe she’d like it enough to consider pursuing it herself. Still, she put down the books with a soft sigh, moving to another section of the shop. If she needed books on witchcraft, she could ask to borrow one of Sharon’s.

Another area of the store was filled with candles of all colors and shapes and sizes, mostly from local craftsmen because that was important to Sharon and Jinkx. Certain candles boasted labels with the various elements on them, others showed zodiac symbols, and many of them had names and little spells written on them. Alaska smelled a few of them, testing out their scents and finding that her favorite was the one with the element of water on it. It smelled like a sea breeze, light and fresh, sweet with a hint of saltiness mixed in, and she made a mental note of which candle it had been so that she could think about buying it at a later date.

Sharon appeared at her side just as she was carefully setting down a large chunk of rutilated quartz, careful not to drop it for fear of breaking the crystal, and she had her bag with her which told Alaska that she was ready to leave.

“You ready to go?”

Alaska nodded and let Sharon take her hand, leading her out of Dead Dandelion and down the street to where she’d parked her car. Settling into the front seat like she’d done several times before, Alaska used the sun shield mirror to check her lip gloss while Sharon started the car. Unlike usual, Sharon didn’t immediately hook up her phone and play music, and she didn’t seem like she was planning to, either. She wasn’t going to mention it, but Sharon glanced over at her with a smile as she pulled out of her parking spot.

“You can play whatever you want.”

“I don’t think we have the same music taste,” Alaska said with a laugh, and Sharon shrugged.

“I mean, we don’t really, but I wanna hear the music you like. It’s not fair of me to always put on what I wanna listen to.”

“It’s your car,” Alaska pointed out, grabbing the aux cord anyway and plugging it into her phone.

“My car, your music. Max would probably say something poetic about that.” Alaska smiled at the thought as she scrolled through her music library. She definitely didn’t want to put on her playlist of songs that reminded her of Sharon; that was probably too much too quickly, and she didn’t want to freak her girlfriend out so early on. Instead, she went to one of her favorite albums, her thumb hovering over the screen as she deliberated.

Can’t stay at home, can’t stay at school. Old folks say ‘You poor little fool’. Down the streets I’m the girl next door. I’m the fox you’ve been waiting for.

“Are you serious?” Sharon laughed incredulously as soon as the opening chords played, “Cherry Bomb? I fucking love this song!” Alaska flushed a little; it made sense that Sharon would like a song like Cherry Bomb, as it seemed to fit her devil-may-care personality. Despite Alaska’s preference for softer singer-songwriter music, it was one of her favorite songs. She used it to pump herself up when she needed some extra energy, or it provided a fitting backdrop for when she got angry and just needed to blare something aggressive at top volume.

Hello, daddy. Hello, mom. I’m your ch-ch-ch-cherry bomb! Hello world! I’m your wild girl. I’m your ch-ch-ch-cherry bomb!

Sharon tapped out the beat of the song against the steering wheel as she drove, nails clicking. Alaska could tell that she was singing along under her breath, and it was endearing to see her girlfriend losing herself in the music as she wove through traffic and made her way home. When they got to Sharon’s apartment, Cerrone was at the door to greet them, meowing at Sharon’s return and rubbing up against Alaska’s legs. Sharon threw her bag down on the kitchen counter and sighed, smiling exhaustedly at Alaska as the blonde took off her shoes.

“Mind if I change?”

Alaska looked up, taking off her jacket and draping it over one of the stools at the countertop. “It’s your house, Sharon, do whatever you want,” she laughed. “You seriously need to relax.”

Sharon looked sheepish as she made her way to her bedroom. “Sorry. I just- I’m not-” she sighed. “I told you, relationships aren’t something I’m used to.”

“I know,” Alaska assured her, crossing the apartment to brush Sharon’s hair out of her face and give her a kiss. “But I want you to feel like you can be yourself around me, okay?” Kissing Sharon’s forehead, she gave her a light push into the bedroom. “Go on, change. I’m not going anywhere.”

When Sharon reemerged, it was to the sight of Alaska taking her hair down from its ponytail, shaking it out as she sat on the floor in the living area. The sound of Sharon’s door opening had made her turn her head, smiling at her girlfriend as she continued to remove bobby pins from her hair and slide them onto the waistband of her skirt. Sharon had changed into a black tank top and black sweatpants that read LOVECRAFT up one of the legs, and she’d taken off all of her jewelry as well.

“You look cute,” Alaska grinned. The witch flushed as she joined Alaska on the carpet.

“I’m literally in sweatpants, Lasky,” she snorted.

“Still cute, dork,” Alaska shrugged, leaning in to kiss her sweetly.

Sharon smiled as she broke the kiss. “Mmm, how about that massage? You still up for it?”

“Um… “ The only reason Alaska hesitated was because she and Sharon hadn’t done very much more than some grinding and heavy petting, usually interrupted by someone or something. She wasn’t uncomfortable with her body, in fact she thought she was cute as hell, but she didn’t know just how much she’d need to take off. “Yeah,” she decided. “That would be… really nice.”

Sharon nodded. “Are you okay with doing it in the bedroom? I don’t think laying on the floor is gonna do your back any more favors.” Alaska nodded, standing up to follow Sharon into her bedroom.

The walls were white, but many of them were adorned with art and posters and the same kinds of tapestries that hung throughout the rest of Sharon’s home. The room was illuminated by strings of fairy lights that hung from the ceiling, casting everything in a warm glow, and Sharon’s bed was draped in silky white sheets. Noticing Alaska’s expression, Sharon smiled.

“You like it?”

“It’s… really pretty,” Alaska admitted. “Softer than I expected, honestly.”

Sharon smirked. “I’m not all Edgar Allan Poe and hard rock, baby. Get on the bed, get comfy. I just need to find something.” With that, she crouched in front of a chest in the corner of the room, pulling out a small corked bottle. Alaska perched nervously on the edge of the bed, eyeing the viscous liquid inside the glass bottle. When Sharon turned around, she looked surprised to see that Alaska had barely moved. “You don’t have to undress if you don’t want to, I just thought you might want a little magical help. I can put this away and just-” She stopped mid sentence when Alaska pulled her top over her head, letting it fall to the floor. “Oh.”

Alaska blushed, looking down at her lap. “Do you want the bra off too?” she asked softly. “I don’t mind if you don’t.” In a moment, Sharon was kneeling at Alaska’s feet, forcing the blonde to look at her. She tilted Alaska’s chin up with careful fingers and leaned in to kiss her deeply, humming softly against her lips.

“Whatever makes you comfortable,” she murmured when they parted. “Goddess, you’re so beautiful…”

“Shut up,” Alaska mumbled, embarrassed. She turned towards the bed and unclipped her bra, letting it fall away as she laid down on her stomach on the soft sheets. “Are you sure you don’t mind?” she asked, her voice small.

“Of course I don’t, you dork,” Sharon snorted, clambering onto the bed to straddle Alaska’s thighs. “This is gonna feel kinda weird, but don’t freak out, okay? Trust me, baby, I’d never do anything to hurt you.” Alaska nodded as Sharon warmed up some of the liquid from the bottle between her palms, but the blonde wasn’t at all prepared for the tingling warmth that bloomed across her skin when Sharon laid her palms against her back. She gasped, but as soon as she’d done so, Sharon’s hands were rubbing slow circles against her shoulder blades. “I know, baby, I’m sorry…” she cooed, “It’ll make you feel better, I swear. It just takes some getting used to.”

“Y-yeah,” Alaska agreed, feeling the warm tingle spread from Sharon’s palms all across her back and wherever her hands touched. “It’s… kinda nice?”

“Good, it’ll start to feel really good soon. I just need to concentrate, so hush.” Sharon focused on Alaska’s body, visualizing all of the pain and negative energy being slowly rubbed away by the oil she was spreading over Alaska’s skin. She could tell it was working when she felt Alaska’s muscles begin to relax and release the harmful energy, and when Alaska herself let out a soft sigh of contentment. Sharon chuckled. “You feel it now, huh?”

“Mhmm,” Alaska confirmed, “Feels so good… God, thank you.”

“Anytime, baby girl,” Sharon replied, continuing down Alaska’s back until she reached the waistband of her skirt. “Can I pull this down just a little bit, honey? Your lower back needs some love.” Alaska simply nodded, shifting slightly to allow her girlfriend to pull the skirt down until it was just below her hips. The moment her hands touched Alaska’s skin again, Alaska closed her eyes and exhaled deeply, enjoying just how relaxed and wonderful she felt.

“You’re way too good at this,” she murmured happily. Sharon finished up, the warm glow fading from Alaska’s back and sinking deep into her skin as the magic ran its course. She pressed a gentle kiss to Alaska’s shoulder, nuzzling her soft blonde hair with her nose and smiling against her skin.

“I’m glad you think so, baby.” The witch moved to lay beside Alaska on the bed, leaning over to kiss her lips gently and run her fingertips down her spine. Alaska whimpered softly, shifting on her side and pulling Sharon closer in order to kiss her properly, snaking a hand under the fabric of her tank top.

“Are you as turned on as I am right now?” she mumbled with an apologetic smile. Sharon bit her lip, trying to keep her own grin in check.

“Magic can be… intimate,” she explained, a small smile letting itself show on her face. “Or maybe I’m just pretty.”

Alaska giggled at the teasing remark, stealing a kiss. “You are pretty,” she answered genuinely. “Really pretty.” Sharon blushed a little, capturing Alaska’s lips in a deeper, sweeter kiss and running a hand through her hair.

“Do you wanna stay for dinner?” she asked when they separated. “I’d hate for you to leave so soon.”

“I can stay the night if you want,” Alaska smiled. “I don’t work tomorrow.”

“I’d love that, baby,” Sharon grinned back. “We can spend the day together if you want to. The coven is gonna hit the beach, and the weather is so nice lately. We’ll make a day of it, mm?”

Alaska nodded, taking Sharon’s hand and lacing their fingers together. “That’d be nice. Let’s do it.”

The drive to the beach was shorter than Alaska expected, or maybe it just seemed that way because she and Sharon spent the whole trip swapping song recommendations and stories and jokes. Either way, it didn’t take as long as the blonde had anticipated, and she was beaming as soon as she smelled the sea air filtering in through Sharon’s rolled-down windows.

They’d brought blankets and a picnic basket, and the rest of the girls pulled up in succession and parked beside Sharon’s car. Jinkx and Pearl had brought large beach umbrellas, Max was tasked with the sunscreen and tanning oil, and Raja and Katya had mostly brought magical items and tools as well as a cooler filled with ice and drinks. Everyone was dressed in beachwear; Jinkx sported a high-waisted two-piece in a flattering shade of green, Katya’s red one-piece looked like something straight out of Baywatch . Raja’s maroon bikini revealed that she had tattoos all over her body, not just her arms, and Pearl’s pink bikini had a flouncy little skirt that showed off her long legs. Even Max had worn something a little less modest than usual, opting for a black high-waisted bikini covered by a chiffon robes, and a large black sunhat.

In Alaska’s highly unbiased opinion, however, Sharon looked the best. She was wearing a long black dress, somewhat sheer with long bell sleeves and a slit up the side, and a pair of round black sunglasses. Alaska thought she looked like Lydia Deetz, and Sharon had cackled when she’d voiced that thought aloud.

“Maxie, toss the sunscreen over here,” Sharon called as she and Raja finished setting up the umbrellas and towels.

“SPF 50 or 75?” Sharon lowered her sunglasses slightly and gave Max a look, making the grey-haired girl smile. “Right. 75 it is.” Catching the bottle that Max tossed her, Sharon sat on her large blanket under one of the umbrellas and shoved her glasses on her head, pulling her chiffon dress off as Alaska watched and revealing quite possibly the most skin Alaska had ever seen of her. She wore a strappy black one-piece with cutouts all over that revealed pale, creamy skin all over and all of her beautiful tattoos; Alaska’s jaw dropped as her eyes raked over Sharon’s wide hips and thick thighs before moving upward to her breasts, barely contained by the swimsuit.

“You look… wow,” she managed to get out. Sharon chuckled.

“Thank you, baby,” she grinned, tossing her hair as she opened the sunscreen and began slathering it all over her pale arms and legs. Holding it out to Alaska, who had just applied tanning oil, she offered an awkward smile. “Can you get my back, sweetheart?” Alaska nodded, practically scrambling to take the bottle from her and move behind her to massage it into the exposed skin of her back. Sharon let out a soft sigh, letting her head loll forward and enjoying the sensation of Alaska’s warm hands rubbing the cold sunscreen into her back.

“You should be all set,” Alaska smiled as she closed the bottle. “Are you just gonna avoid the sun all day? It’s so nice and waaarm,” she baited, shimmying her shoulders as she yanked her cover-up dress over her head. Sharon’s expression shifted from a half-smile to one of pure attraction as Alaska revealed her snakeskin-print bikini, pulling her long hair into a high ponytail while Sharon admired her.

“You are fucking breathtaking, ” the witch murmured. Alaska grinned, feeling a rush of heat to her cheeks and knowing that she was definitely blushing.

“Come on, come into the sun! We can go in the water!”

Sharon shook her head with a grin. “Not really my thing, pumpkin.”

“Oh, stop being a killjoy,” Jinkx said. “We all know you love the beach just as much as the rest of us. Well, maybe not as much as Pearl,” she corrected, gesturing to Pearl who had already filled one jar with sand and another with water, and was now combing the shore for seashells and driftwood.

“She’s a water witch, she doesn’t count,” Raja chuckled. “Seriously, Sharon, you should be fine now that you have sunscreen on. You’re not gonna burn to a crisp like last time.”

“And if you do, Max’ll just make her a salve again,” Katya added before letting out a screeching laugh at the memory of a lobster-red Sharon.

“I hate you all,” Sharon proclaimed, grinning as she stood up anyway and let Alaska pull her into her arms. Alaska kissed her cheek with a little giggle, resting her hands on her hips.

“I knew you’d come around,” she said with a wide smile. “Now c’mon, let’s go in the water!” She dragged Sharon across the warm sand and into the water, the cold ocean waves lapping against their ankles and making them shiver slightly. Sharon pulled Alaska against her body and kissed her, steady and strong against the powerful waves that tugged at their legs, now almost knee-deep in the water. They were each other’s anchor in the raging sea of uncertainty that surrounded them, and something about kissing Sharon while the sun shone on them and water surrounded them was the most romantic thing Alaska had ever experienced.

And then they felt a push before they were falling, landing in the chilly water with a splash and a squeal, and the rest of the witches could be heard cackling above them. Sharon sought out Alaska’s hand, holding onto it as they both sat up and glared at the coven, all of whom were nearly doubled over laughing.

“Fuck you!” Sharon exclaimed, raising the middle finger of her free hand as she stood and helped her girlfriend to her feet as well. Katya was on her knees in the water, cackling uncontrollably, and even Max was snickering behind her hand.

“You can’t tell me that wasn’t the funniest thing ever,” Jinkx giggled, trying to catch her breath. Sharon looked to Alaska for backup, but found the blonde to be grinning as she shook the water off of her arms. Seeing the look in Sharon’s eyes, she shrugged and giggled quietly.

“You’re so uptight, baby. It was kinda funny.”

“I’m gonna get you all back at some point, y’know,” Sharon threatened, though her grimace had already given way to a smile.

“You can sure as hell try,” Raja teased, flipping her ponytail with a knowing grin.

“Ugh, I wasn’t supposed to get wet until later tonight,” Sharon complained, resulting in a chorus of fake vomiting sounds and disgusted gagging.

“You guys are gross,” Pearl said, wrinkling her nose. “Can’t you keep it in your pants for like one day, Sharon?”

“Nope,” Alaska said smoothly, effectively silencing whatever answer her girlfriend had prepared. “She really can’t.” Sharon made an indignant sound and smacked Alaska on the arm, resulting in a play fight that nearly– but not quite –resulted in both of them falling into the water once again.

After playing in the water for an hour or so, Alaska dried herself off and sat on the blanket Sharon had brought, moving half of it into the sun so she could tan but leaving the other half in the shade to protect her girlfriend’s delicate skin. Sharon was reading a book, and though Alaska had teased her for bringing a book to the beach, there was no doubt that Sharon looked gorgeous lounging in the shade, her legs tucked beneath her and her hair falling over her shoulders in soft curls. Alaska was comfortable lying on her stomach, letting her skin soak up the sun, and she’d even slipped off her bikini top to avoid tan lines on her back.

She was relaxed enough that even the voices of the witches and the noise of the beach weren’t enough to keep her from dozing off, despite her very best efforts. She awoke to a gentle hand on her shoulder, and craned her neck up to see Sharon kneeling beside her. “You fell asleep, baby. Didn’t want you to burn.” Alaska smiled at the sweet gesture, taking her top from Sharon and letting her girlfriend shield her with a towel as she put it back on.

“C’mere,” she insisted once she was covered again– though “covered” was probably an overstatement –drawing Sharon against her body and kissing her sweetly.

“The girls are unpacking the food if you’re hungry,” Sharon murmured, pressing her lips to Alaska’s cheek and lingering there for a few moments. Alaska nodded and followed her girlfriend over to the blanket where the coven had set up their picnic lunch on the biggest blanket, reorganizing the umbrellas around it for those who preferred the shade. Because Sharon and Alaska had brought most of the food, everything was vegetarian, and a fair amount of it was homemade. Max had contributed some of her own hand-dried herbs and even a bit of fresh produce, ever the green witch, and Katya was lighting a small candle in the center of the blanket to burn as an offering of thanks.

Lunch was a cheerful affair, everyone talking and laughing and swapping stories and jokes. The beach trip itself had only made Alaska feel more at home with Sharon’s coven– and more importantly, Sharon’s friends. The food was wonderful, the assortment of drinks was surprisingly varied, from pink lemonade to vodka, and the conversation was robust and dynamic, ever-changing and shifting around its participants. The sky was slowly turning from a clear, sunny blue to a darker shade, and Raja and Katya expertly built a small fire in almost no time at all. It wasn’t large enough to burn for very long, but just big enough that the girls could all admire the flames and feel their warmth from a few feet away.

As the air grew a little chillier Sharon donned her long dress again, and everyone else agreed that it was a smart idea so they followed suit and put their own cover-ups back on. Pearl complained about not staying the night, but the coven promised they would return soon for an actual ritual. They packed up their cars as the sun began to set, and after saying their goodbyes, trickled off in pairs or small groups to weather the drive home.

Sharon and Alaska were the last of their group on the beach, standing at the edge of the wet sand and looking out at the horizon as the sun slipped further below it and the sky turned from orange to pink. Sharon turned to the blonde slowly, brushing a lock of hair away from her face and gazing pensively into her eyes, making Alaska blush.

“What? Why are you looking at me like that?” she asked with a little laugh. Sharon tilted her head slightly, taking Alaska’s hands in hers.

“I think I love you,” she answered. Alaska’s mouth fell open, Sharon already shushing her before she could say anything. “You don’t need to say anything, Lasky. I just feel like you should know. I love you.”

Alaska wasted no time in grabbing Sharon’s face and bringing their mouths together, letting Sharon’s hands settle on her waist to pull Alaska flush against her body and kissing back hard. Just as quickly as it had happened, the kiss grew less intense, and the two women began to move more tenderly, more sweetly; they stayed close even when they broke apart, foreheads touching.

“I love you too,” Alaska whispered. Sharon’s grip on her waist intensified, arms wrapping around her.

“Yeah?” she chuckled lowly as the sun finally disappeared from the sky and left them suspended in a silvery twilight. The sea breeze was cool and swift against their skin, but pressed together so closely, they were warm. Alaska grinned, throwing her arms around Sharon and hugging the witch tightly.

“Yeah. I do. I love you, Sharon.”

[southserpents-blog]

Finding a Kitten// Sweet Pea imagine

Finding a Kitten// Sweet Pea imagine

Warnings: fluff

Requested by: @swxxt-pxa

Request: anyway hc with Sweet Pea ofc about the reader finding a kitten in the rain and being allergic to cats but convincing him to keep it and finding him cuddling with the cat and being cute af

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You were walking to Sweet pea’s trailer after school. It was freezing, only 3 degrees Celsius and it was raining cats and dogs. As you were walking past fox forest you heard a high pitched noise. You stopped and looked around, it sounded like a tiny meow. You rummaged through the bushes and found a tiny kitten, cold and wet. You picked the poor baby up, you looked for a mother but the kitten seemed to be alone. To keep the kitten warm you held it to your chest and ran to the trailer park.

You barged into the trailer yelling Pea’s name

“I’m coming princess” He yelled back from the bedroom

You quickly ran a warm bath for the kitten as Sweet Pea came up behind you to give you a kiss.

“Who’s this little guy?” He questioned, stepping around you to get a better look at the shrieking wet ball in your kitchen sink.

“I found him by fox forest, all alone and cold.”

You rinsed his fur quickly to warm him up and get the dirt and leaves off before placing him on the counter.

“Can you get me a towel sweets?” He quickly disappeared to grab a big fluffy towel and your hairdryer

“Sweets, he’s a tiny kitten you don’t need a towel big enough for a person” you laughed while rubbing the kitten dry

“But he’s cold” He said, sounding genuinely concerned about the kitten.

“Sweets, you love the kitten already don’t you?” You said in a teasing voice as you blow dried the kitten on low

Sweet pea didn’t say anything

“So, microwave dinner?” Sweets asked, avoiding your question.

You just laughed

After the kitten was dry and warm you made a little place in the bathroom with towels for him(or her) to sleep on, plus some newspaper in the rest of the bathroom.

“Y/N, what if it poops?”

“What do you think the newspaper is for?”

“Doesn’t it need a litterbox?”

“Pea it’s too young. We’ll take it to the vet then the pet store to by what we need, is that better?”

“But aren’t you allergic to cats? We can’t keep it if you’re allergic.”

“Come on Pea, look at that face! Haven’t you ever heard of Antihistamines, besides I know you love it already.”

“Okay fine, if you love it that much” he said as he gave the little kitten a pat on the head before going to make dinner

Morning

You woke up to the sound of meowing. Confused, you went into the bathroom before remembering the little life you rescued. It had managed to not sleep in its own poop or pee but it was definitely time to get a proper set-up and a check up. You threw away all the soiled newspaper and the unraveled toilet paper, somehow managing not to vomit at the smell of the newspapers.

“Pea, we should take him now, he must be hungry! Poor baby.”

“Well so am I, princess and I bet you are too”

“Okay, but right after we eat we take him”

“Whatever you say, princess” Sweet said before kissing you

“Ugh you have morning breath” you said as you laughed together

After eating you held the kitten on your lap while Sweet pea drove in FP’s truck to the vet. The only vet was on the Northside, which sweets was not a fan of going to but he’d do anything for his babygirl.

“Have you had any allergies yet?”

“No, I’ve been alright, maybe he’s one of those hypoallergenic cats. He might be Balinese, I heard they’re good for allergies.”

“I sure hope so”

You got to the vet and the kitten is perfectly healthy and a girl! She had a few ticks but the vet easily removed them. The vet also confirmed that she’s a Balinese cat. You were so excited to finally have a cat!

“Pea, I love her so much!” You said in the car on the way to the pet store. A few years of happiness rolled down your cheeks because you’ve never had a cat before and she was too cute.

“I’ll be honest, I kind of do too”

“Oh come on, I know you do”

At the pet store, first you bought the necessities of a litter box, food, and a brush.

“Pea, she needs a bed, what about this one”

“Y/N that’s the most expensive one!”

You gave him puppy dog (or I guess kitty) eyes and he let you get it

You also begged for tons of toys and a cat tree

“Y/N she can’t even jump yet!”

“I don’t care she needs a cat condo!”

“She’s gonna have a better house than us” sweet said under his breath, but you heard him and chose to ignore it.

“Wait Pea, she has to have a bell collar!” You said pointing to a pink collar with a little bell on it

“Fine, nothing else or we’ll be broke as a joke”

“Thank you Pea!” You yelled, grabbing the attention of a nearby old cat lady as you gave him a tight hug. This whole time the little kitten had been asleep in the cart, just curled up in a little ball. She had no idea how spoiled she was gonna be.

Back at home you had to leave Pea alone with the kitten you named Misty, since you found her in the rain. Pea set up the cat condo and the litter box and was in charge of keeping an eye on her. She already had her little bell collar on so it wasn’t hard to find her.

When you came back home from Pop’s you found Sweet Pea, the tough gang member who would beat up anyone, talking to Misty in a baby voice while holding her to his chest. You stood in the doorway just watching him, he loved this little miracle so much! Just hopefully not more than he loved you

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A/N: hope you like it! Please reblog if you did! And give me requests!

[destinationtoast]

TWO FISH FAILURES AND A VEGGIE SUCCESS

I got behind on recording my cooking adventures, so this will be a bit of a digest (ha ha).  Read on for my first case of self-food poisoning, and other (actual) delights.

SOCKEYE SALMON WITH SNOW PEAS AND RICE

This was less a failure than it was just boring, which was frustrating because (a) I love salmon and snow peas, so I felt like I’d ruined them, and (b) it inevitably took a lot of time.  Estimated time was 35 min; actual time was well over an hour.  (Would have been longer except that my rice cooker saves me from having to think about the white rice at all; I just started it at the beginning and then ignored it.)

The main problem is that it took me quite a while to make the garlic-pepper-tamari-fish-sauce marinade, because I started with whole garlic and took quite a while to finely dice it and squish it up with the other ingredients (I may have a problem with obsessively chopping things beyond the necessary degree).  And then after all that work, it didn’t end up flavoring the salmon much… I think they should have told me to leave it in the marinade a while, rather than just coating it.

I also sauteed the hell out of the salmon, way longer than it probably needed… I remained scared of undercooked fish.  But when I finally ate it, I wished I’d cooked it a bit less.  Then I cooked the snow peas in the same pan, with more garlic and ginger and sesame oil.  I’m only ho-hum about ginger, but garlic and sesame oil are great, so the peas were pretty decent.

All in all, an okay meal in terms of effort (I think I could learn to do it a lot faster, especially if I bought pre-made marinade or pre-diced garlic), but I’d use more seasonings.  

Pain in the assness: high, but it was almost all the marinade.

The cats approved; they tried to get at the salmon, and I had to chase them off.  I don’t think Tico would have eaten it — he’s very picky about only eating dry food — but he was curious and meowing a lot.

ALASKAN COD WITH MISO, SHIITAKE, & EDAMAME

Welp, I finally did it — I mildly food poisoned myself.  I undercooked fish and spent a fairly unpleasant evening as a result.  It was not the end of the world, but reaffirmed my desire to keep cooking the hell out of things, even though I prefer my meat & fish less well-done.

The PeachDish box arrived kind of bashed up, and its refrigerative properties seemed possibly damaged.  It was still cool-ish, but the ice packs were more melted and warm than usual.  I tried to evaluate if the fish was okay, and decided it was probably safe, sticking it in the freezer rather than throwing it out.  (Possibly this was my main error.)  

Later, I failed to defrost the fish completely.  I stuck it in the refrigerator in the morning, and much later in the day it was still mostly frozen, to my surprise.  I looked online and found you can just cook fish a bit longer if it’s still frozen, rather than defrosting it completely first.  (I could have used my microwave to defrost it all the way, but it seemed easier to just start cooking.)

This time there was also a marinade — or a glaze, but they had me coat the fish about the same amount as I had with the salmon, so I’m not sure of the difference.  It was miso + “My Sweet Hottie” sauce, whatever that is.  The recipe had several mysterious ingredients, which was a little frustrating — I didn’t feel like I learned as much as in the past.

While the cod roasted in the oven for several minutes longer than the recipe said, I sauteed the mushrooms and edamame in “You Saucy Thing” (see what I mean? :P ).  When I checked the cod, it was still really undercooked in the middle, so I cooked it longer.  And longer.  But when I finally thought it was okay, I dished some up, took a bite, and — nope!  The middle was still undercooked in places.  Got through a couple bites before deciding it wasn’t good.  Most of the cod pieces looked pretty shredded by the time I finished re-cooking them and obsessively tearing them all apart.  I eventually enjoyed a couple tough cod pieces that were (of course) overdone — the recipe itself was good in concept, and only poor in execution.  

Later that night, I felt pretty gross, though it was ultimately not nearly as bad as it could have been.  The cats, perhaps smarter than me in this instance, did not seem as interested in this dish.

Pain in the assness: high, but it was all the problematic cod.

SUPERFOOD QUINOA BOWL WITH EDAMAME, PEACH, & SPICY GREENS

Even though I was apprehensive of the “Superfood” and “quinoa” in the title (it sounded like it could be what Mrs. Toasty dubs “punishment food”), I opted to try this. Because it also contained peach and pomegranate and black currants and pepitas, all of which sounded like it would make for a delicious summer salad.

Alleged prep time: 5 minutes (only 5 instructions!!), plus 25 min cooking time.  Heh, heh, heh.  It took me well over one episode of Star Trek (TNG S6, “Frame of Mind”: good pairing).  That was partly because of needing to tend to the quinoa a lot more than I would have if it were in the rice cooker — the recipe had me sautee some onions first, then add the quinoa and sautee a little more, then add water and bouillon.  It was good; I’m not sure if it was detectably better than if I’d combined the ingredients in the rice cooker instead.

While the quinoa cooked, I chopped up peaches (which had been in the fridge and were incredibly hard to pit — I was worried they’d be sour, but they were delicious).  I tossed the peaches and the “spicy greens” (not at all spicy WTF) with pomegranate juice, honey, oil, and salt.  This was tasty but could have been replaced by a pre-made dressing to save time.  I also threw in some cherry tomatoes from a lentil dish I got last week but ran out of time to cook (I’ll save the non-perishable ingredients, but most of the veggies except the tomatoes had wilted).

When the quinoa finished, I tossed in the pepitas, currants, edamame, and “microgreens” (they were highly visible; what is it with the inaccurately named greenery?) and dished up.  

It was all surprisingly delicious (though I added more salt to the quinoa — the bouillon was veggie & low sodium, and I think with either high sodium or meat flavor it would have been even better).  The cats did not believe any of this was food, and the extras went safely unmolested on the counter.

Pain in the assness: low, and could be modified to use rice cooker & pre-made salad dressing for an even easier time.  Good summer dish.

[sideblogformindtrash]

🍋🍍🍆 for sweet pea?

🍋: What is your OC's most painful memory?

The day Gerard first came to see him and decided to purchase him. It pretty much marked the day he stopped daydreaming about somehow not ending up on a terrible place, and about being together with the ""boyfriend"". At this point he had to push it all back and accept the thought that the best he could hope for was that his master was merciful and that he would provide for sweet pea even as he aged up beyond the usual desired aged for pets.

🍍: Where does your OC feel most comfortable?

The tragic thing is nowhere. Sweet Pea is constantly on survival mode and he doesn't feel safe anywhere. He doesn't get a home or a safe space or anything. He felt somewhat safe on his bedroom with Gerard when Gerard was travelling. At that point he knew he would be alone and not bothered for a couple days.

🍆: Does your OC have any favourite form of affection, physical or otherwise?

Probably spending time with others. Pet names bother him, and he isn't super comfortable with touche. He could accept hugs though.

[nibimatatabi]

Only Human

Word Count: 2972 Summary: Set roughly around/between PoA & GoF, Cassandra notices a dog digging around in her trash can. Leo is a weird dog, and not even actually a dog. Mostly a cathartic exercise for her, plus I already told @hogwarts-junkie about this thought when I was washing my dog, so I might as well write it. Warning: Rated T for teen due to heavy language.

“That is not a dog, that is a Grim,” Lucile is sipping coffee in Cassandra’s living room. She’s looking out the window at something. The other woman isn’t distraught, just amused. “And it keeps coming back?” Cassandra is pulling turkey out of her fridge.

“Yep, comes back like clockwork to dig in my trash can. Wait, don’t go anywhere, watch this,” Cassandra pushes Sebastian back - the cat is well over twenty years old and still going strong; Cassandra has long since admitted that ‘cat’ is just what he resembles - and then swings open the door. “Dog! Heads up! I have turkey this time!” She launches the meat cuts out the door, as near the sidewalk as she can throw (and boy has this girl learned to throw and hit hard since leaving Hogwarts; one does not trifle with the should-have-been-Black woman). The canine has dropped down, hiding behind the trash can, caught, but when he sees the food he lunges forward, gobbling it down quickly. “Poor thing is skin and bone,” Cassandra shuts the door - and then locks it for good measure.

“You afraid of Black looking you up?” Lucile asks in that wary I-should-know-better-than-to-ask voice that Cassandra knows too well.

“Sirius isn’t dangerous,” she’s back in the kitchen, and her married friend is rolling her eyes. “He isn’t. Sirius was a lot of things, and none of them - not a one - said he was a murderer. He would have DIED rather than give up James. James was more his brother than Regulus,” she slams her palms against the table, frustrated. She’s almost in tears again.

“That’s not what-”

“The minister is a goddamned liar, Lucy. I might not have been with Sirius that long, but I knew his brother damned well and if Regulus would have never done that, then don’t look at me and try to claim that Sirius would have,” Lucile leans back against the window sill, looking out.

“Grim’s gone.”

“Don’t call him that. He’s not a Grim.”

“Then what is he?”

“A dog.”

Three days later, Cassandra stepped outside with her coffee, enjoying the morning before it was too hot to be outdoors. There was the dog again, standing on his hind legs, in her trash. It was empty today, though - there was nothing for him to find. Cassandra clicked her tongue once, and then whistled. “C’mere boy,” she called, as if the dog would actually come. He jerked backwards, falling from the trash can in an ungraceful flailing of limbs. “Come on, sweetheart, you’re okay,” Cassandra cooed, sitting on her front step. She was in a tank top and striped pajama pants, fuzzy slippers, and her shoulder length hair was in a sloppy bun. The words ‘hot mess’ were what could easiest be used to describe Cassandra before she got ready to go to St. Mungos. Today she worked an evening shift, which gave her the morning to kill.

“Come on, puppy dog. I’ve got food in the house, but I’m not getting it if you won’t come here,” the dog crept around the trash can, low to the ground. She couldn’t tell if he was really black, or if he was a dark gray that was just grimy. “Come here sweet pea,” he was creeping toward her, tail down, watching her. His ears were up, alert, and as he drew closer Cassandra was suddenly aware of just how large the dog was. “Oh...my...” he was skinny and underweight, but the dog was almost as big as a white tail deer at the shoulder. “Sweet baby, come here,” she collected herself quickly, reaching a hand out slowly from her cup. No fear. Never show fear.

The dog bumped her head the same way Sebastian did, head against her palm. Cassandra exhaled, not having realized she was holding her breath. “Hi there, baby dog,” she murmured, scratching his head, moving her hand down his neck. No collar. She didn’t expect one, but she had tried to be hopeful. “Can I stand up? You aren’t going to run, right? Come on, come inside with me,” Cassandra convinced the dog to enter her house, and was stunned that he wiped his paws on the doormat outside. “Someone loved you once, didn’t they, boy?” She shut the door, and from the couch Sebastian was suddenly standing, staring at the dog. “Sebastian,” Cassandra’s voice was warning. He meowed, loudly, and then hissed once. The dog was just staring at him. “Leave the cat alone, buddy,” Cassandra moved between the two. Sebastian had sat down. Sebastian meowed again, but this time without the hostility. “Come on, puppy, upstairs. You need a bath.”

The canine didn’t even have to be dragged up the stairs. He went willingly, wagging his tail slightly as Cassandra praised him for being so good. She let him into the bathroom and shut the door, going to change into shorts and a different tank top to wash him in. When she went into the bathroom, the dog was sitting in a tub of water. “I’m sorry what?” She hadn’t filled the tub. The dog lifted a paw and pawed at the faucets until he got one on, and then back off. Totally possible. “Are you one of those failed service dogs?” She ventured after a moment, grabbing her shampoo bottle. The canine whined at her, looking up at her with soft gray eyes.

Cassandra was rubbing shampoo into the dog’s coat and had to stop. “You have blue eyes,” she stated, blinking, trying to find blue. They were gray. Gray like storm clouds, warmer than ice and soft enough that her chest felt like it was being squeezed. “They’re gray,” she whispered, and for a moment she felt her world collapsing around her again, felt as if her life were being shattered all over again. And then she inhaled sharply and shook her head. “Dog with gray eyes. What a strange thing,” she laughed, forced herself to laugh, and kept washing her new found companion.

It took an hour and a half to full bathe the dog, so that his fur was free of grime, and he wasn’t matted up. Cassandra toweled him off, surprised at how still he was. “You were so loved, baby, what happened?” She asked, sitting down on the tile and drying his face. He lowered his head, bumping into her shoulder. “Sweet baby,” she considered possible names for him while she sat there, petting his shoulder and he rested his giant hulking head on her shoulder. She thought of the constellations she knew - Sirius, Orion, Regulus, Arcturus, Canopus, Polaris, Vega, Altair - and dropped her forehead against the dog’s chest. “Nope, none of those, not in this lifetime or the next,” she muttered. “Leo? Leo. I like Leo,” it was the constellation with Regulus. Of course she liked Leo.

The dog whined at her, lifting a massive paw into her lap. “What, do you not like your name?” She asked, bringing her head up and coming eye to eye with the dog. “Good God in heaven you are such a large dog,” and his eyes were the same uncanny intelligence of Sebastian’s, perhaps more so.

When she left for work, she warned Sebastian to behave. “You leave Leo alone. And Leo, do not chase that cat.”

Cassandra found that she adored her hulking canine. She bought him a nice collar and leash, and took him for walks. He balked whenever Cassandra got near Grimmauld Place, and the woman had to drag the canine past twelve. And then one day the dog was gone. She came home from work and her dog was just gone. She scoured the neighborhoods in both directions, but nothing. No dog, no one had seen a dog, what dog?

Cassandra had, in the years since Walburga’s demise (hallelujah, praise the Lord) taken to stopping in and checking on Kreacher. She hated that he was alone in the big house, but he wouldn’t leave it. So, after ensuring her dog was flat out gone, she made one of her bimonthly stops at the Black residence. It was not Kreacher that opened the door. “Are you fucking serious?”

"Last I checked, yes,” the lopsided grin, shaggy black hair, soft gray eyes. Cassandra wanted to punch him in the nose.

“When were you going to tell me that you-” words, so many words, silenced by Sirius shaking his head, and then something farther inside shrieking.

“Great. You woke Mother.”

“Good! I have a few words for that insufferable bitch that Kreacher hasn’t let me say.”

“Wait, how do you-” but Cassandra had shoved past Sirius, and murder was in her eyes.

“Listen here you stupid woman! You are DEAD do you understand? I have no patience for you!” Kreacher was watching, wide eyed, as the muggleborn laid into the portrait. “You don’t have a clue who I am and you want to know why?! Because your son was in love with me and didn’t want you to run me off! Oh nonono, not Sirius! No, no no, no I mean Regulus you wicked evil witch. I mean your little pride and joy the one who joined the Death Eaters to please Mummy and Daddy, the cousins, and their twisted sense of righteousness - don’t you even give me that offended look you HAG,” literal years of pent up rage spewed from Cassandra until she’d had enough of the woman shouting back at her - mudblood, insolent little girl, how dare you enter the noble house of Black - and snatched the curtains shut with violence radiating in her little body.

When she whipped around, Sirius was sagged against the wall, staring at her, looking exhausted from listening. “I’m sorry, Sirius,” she lowered her eyes. “I’ve had a lot to say to that woman since I was seventeen and never got the chance.”

“Safer to just scream at her painting,” Sirius mumbled, seeming unable to collect himself. Cassandra wanted to help him, she really did, but following the screaming match with Walburga - oh it was cathartic - she didn’t know how. Instead she knelt down in front of Kreacher, smiling at the house elf.

“I’m sorry for yelling at your mistress, Kreacher. But the way she treated Sirius and Regulus wasn’t right, and I’ve held that in for a very long time now,” she swallowed the lump in her throat. Kreacher regarded her carefully for a moment before he nodded.

“Would Miss Delacroix like some tea, then?” Sirius blinked from where he was, watching the two.

“Miss Delacroix? You call me all kinds of foul names and SHE gets Miss Delacroix, pleasant as can be?”

“Tea would be lovely, Kreacher; for both of us.”

“Of course Miss Delacroix,” Kreacher scurried off, leaving Sirius fuming.

“Why?! You’re muggleborn! You’re as bad as I am!”

“Did you miss the conversation I had with your mother? No, no no wait, let me try this a different way. Did you miss the part where after we broke up your brother developed an interest in me?” She had always known she would lie to Sirius about that. Lie like the dog she was trying to find. “Look, Sirius, stop. After that framed hellion died, Kreacher was alone. I’ve known where this house is since I was seventeen. I wasn’t going to leave him - Regulus died because Voldemort was willing to leave Kreacher to die. Your brother-”

“Was soft and an idiot and died because of Voldemort!”

“No he didn’t! He died trying to undermine him!” They had moved to the dining room, and Sirius had cast a silencing charm to prevent his mother from being awoken again by their snapping and snarling.

“How would you know? Where were you then when he was trying to be all noble and heroic, hmm? If you loved my brother then why weren’t you with him?!” Cassandra wasn’t near Sirius, but she still recoiled as if he had hit her. Tears rose into her eyes, hot and unbidden.

“He wouldn’t let me. He said it wasn’t safe. He said Kreacher would show him where to go, and Kreacher could get him out and then he DIED Sirius! I BEGGED HIM to not leave me!” She wished she were yelling, wanted to still be yelling, but she was choking out the words in a far softer voice than she had wanted to. She sat down in the nearest chair, leaning forward and hiding her face in her hands. She couldn’t breath, she couldn’t speak. Something whined a few moments later, and then bumped into her leg. She reached out, expecting Sirius to be sitting beside her, and instead her fingers curled into fur. Dog? Dog.

When the tears were done, the dog - Leo, yep, gray eyes - left the room, and Sirius came back. “You done yet?” His own eyes looked like he had been crying. Cassandra nodded.

“You have a dog.”

“Ah, yeah.”

“Gray eyes.”

“Mhm.”

“What’s his name?”

“Snuffles.”

“Looks like a dog that was dumpster diving at my house. I call him Leo.” Sirius narrowed his eyes on her for a moment, as if trying to frame that. “Better than calling him, say, Orion,” Sirius flinched at that. “Can we be done yelling?” She asked after the silence spread out between them. Kreacher came in with the tea cups, handing one to Cassandra and then taking the other to Sirius.

“Yeah. Yeah, we can be, Cassie,” her eyes were on her cup and they jerked up for a moment. Sirius sounded defeated. She dropped her eyes back to her cup, sipping her tea.

Silence.

“How exactly did you know where this was?” Sirius finally ventured, sitting beside her. She glanced over at him, and when gray met blue her heart dropped. The wrong gray. Too warm. Too naturally soft.

“Regulus. We went to Paris, that summer,” she swallowed, fought back more tears.

“And not once did you think to say something.”

“He firmly believed you didn’t care about him, Sirius. There wasn’t a thing I could say or do,” she spoke into her teacup.

“No, not about that. You didn’t tell me. You didn’t tell me anything about him, what was going on with him,” Sirius’s voice was accusatory. Cassandra wanted the dog back. The dog was nice, and comforting, and didn’t make her feel like she was a terrible excuse for a human being.

“What was I supposed to say, Sirius? Oh hey so when I started dating your brother I found out he was a Death Eater? No wait - I knew your brother was a Death Eater before we started dating, let alone before I started dating him, and I didn’t say a Goddamned thing to anyone because my first thought was ‘oh my fucking God they’ve hurt this boy if I tell anyone what else might happen to him?’ Because I can see that going really well. Honestly, I can see Slughorn going to Dumbledor, and then what? Azkaban that’s what,” she was frustrated - it was a circular conversation with a man she hadn’t seen in years, and... “How did you get out of Azkaban?!” She rounded on Sirius suddenly, light blue eyes alight with confusion and near panic. “You couldn’t have done that to James I know that good and well so what-”

“Shh. Stop. Breath,” Sirius held up a hand. He wasn’t emotionally, physically, or mentally capable of dealing with this. He put his teacup down, leaning forward to the woman who had left him for his idiot brother. Her eyes were flickering across his face, and he knew that it was concern there, not fear, not distrust, just worry and concern. “You’re right. I didn’t betray Lily and James. I would have never. Harry is my Godson. I should have...if I wouldn’t have chased Pettigrew that vial filthy RAT-” Sirius stopped himself. Took a deep breath. “I didn’t get a trial, you know. They just assumed I was like the rest of my family,” bitter, he was so very bitter. Cassandra leaned away instinctively. One too many Black meltdowns will leave a woman a little gun shy. “Are you sure you want to know?”

“Look I just screamed at my could-have-been-mother-in-law and discovered you alive and well. You’re not going to surprise me much more,” Sirius smirked - oh good God that had been taken as a challenge. He stood up, stepped away from her, and untied his robe. “Sirius Black-” she started, becoming furious in a heartbeat. Right up til Leo/Snuffles was sitting there, wagging his tail, looking at her innocently. “Kreacher! This is just tea, right?”

“Yes Miss Delacroix, only tea, why does Miss Delacroix ask?”

“Uh...dog. Sirius. Sirius dog. Turned into dog,” the word ‘animagus’ didn’t even come to mind until the dog grabbed the robe and dragged it to a more hidden spot. And then Sirius was coming back around, tying his robe back on.

“Animagus.”

“Alright, yep, that about does it. Come here. Just, yeah, right down here,” Sirius leaned down, looking her right in the eye. Cassandra punched him in the chest. “Mark it off my bucket list, sleeping with both of the Black’s,” she stated as Sirius picked himself up. “I’m sorry,” she added as he rubbed his chest.

“Where did you learn to hit?”

“Oh somewhere between ‘boyfriend’s dead’ and ‘Voldemort’s dead’ you know, cover all my bases,” Cassandra was studying her nails - she’d chipped her manicure at some point.

The silence rolled out again. Finally Sirius broke it, being Sirius. “I know you’re upset, Cassie, but I can’t leave here except as a dog...”

“I’ll adopt you, Padfoot, so long as you keep pretending hard to not look at me when I change clothes.”

“Oh thank you Cassie,” utter relief in his voice.

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21 and 26 with sweet pea?

Tw food stuff

Okay so his food intake is incredibly controlled. As such the things he really enjoys are fruits, since its pretty much the only type of sugar he gets. He especially likes water melons and peaches. He also likes cereals and meat.

As such, his guilty pleasures are also that. He keeps his diet long after Gerard, and the little breaks he takes are all guilty pleasures for him. Sleeping with his sucklet is also one, as is dancing for himself.

[sideblogformindtrash]

you must give sweet pea lucky charms but only the marshmallows 😉😉

He would like those a lot and would not admit it no matter what.