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spine-buster · 5 years ago

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m a d e o f o u t e r s p a c e | elias pettersson

Summary: Brock Boeser invites Elias Pettersson and his childhood best friend, Svea Nilsson, to his place on Prior Lake for the weekend. Petey is feeling some feelings. So is Svea. And in a big group of twenty-somethings at a cottage on a summer weekend, what could go wrong?

Word Count: 14.8k

A/N: Some tropes here, definitely some character archetypes, but an overall good time that includes Incredibly Soft Bitch Hours™ because I’m an Incredibly Soft Bitch™ for Elias Pettersson.

Svea Nilsson decided to go to university in Vancouver and Elias Pettersson decided to follow her. Not the other way around.

Svea and Elias had been best friends since childhood – when Elias saw her faceplant on the ice at the local rink and he helped her up. Simple as that. They had the exact same temperament, and everyone would comment about it. Their parents, their teachers, their mutual friends, their classmates – everybody would always say something: how so very quiet they were; how shy they were; how so very nice they were; how calm they were; how focused they were; how mature they were; how so very humble they were; how dry their sense of humour was; how they would open up when they got to know you. The only difference between them was hockey. When Elias began to take hockey more seriously, and play hockey more seriously, it didn’t change things. Svea only took hockey seriously because Elias did. She went to his games. She would watch him. She’d offer words of encouragement. But she was the academic. She was the one with her nose in a book in the stands in-between periods. She was the one who got straight A’s and helped Elias with his abysmal English grades and had all the teachers loving her because she was so academic, so driven.

So when Svea chose to go to Vancouver for university, where her mom was from, instead of Stockholm, where all her other friends were dying to go to get out of Ånge, everybody was shocked. Except for Elias. He was the first person she told, and the first person who told her to go for it. She admitted she was a bit nervous to apply, and even more nervous about getting in. It would mean she would have to leave him in Sweden. But Elias wasn’t scared about any of that; he wasn’t scared of much, really. “I’m going to follow you, anyway,” he’d said to her. “When I play in the NHL.”

And then she got in. And she had to leave Elias in Sweden.

But that’s when happens when your mom is Canadian and she moved half around the world for your dad – you choose to rediscover your roots and see and live in the city your mom once called home. You choose to move half-way across the world despite the fear and despite the fact that you’d leave your best friend behind, relying on May to August to spend as much time as possible with him. Even though Svea was closer to Elias than she was to anyone else in the world, including her sister; and even though, like Catherine Earnshaw said in Wuthering Heights, “Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same”, she was leaving him.

It was the hardest year of Svea’s life, when she was in Vancouver her first year and he stayed in Sweden to play with Vaxjo. They would call and text each other constantly, with FaceTimes and Skype dates written into their schedules as easily and frequently as grocery shopping. That spring, after finishing her exams on April 21st, she returned to Sweden on April 22nd, making it just in time to watch Elias score the game winning goal and the rest of the Vaxjo Lakers win the Swedish championships. She was so happy for him she cried. And when she surprised him on the ice – before all the gold paint, before all the champagne – he cried too. He hugged her for so long she thought he wouldn’t let go. And truthfully, she didn’t want him to.

When he signed his contract with Vancouver and moved to the city, he asked – practically demanded – that she live with him. She agreed because she didn’t want to pass up the opportunity to live rent free with her best friend in a beautiful condo that was bigger than the house in Ånge she grew up in. She practically had her own wing, with a giant bedroom with floor-to-ceiling windows, her own bathroom, and Elias even let her have the den for all her studying. They’d cook together, go out for sushi and waffles together, and Svea would even go to some games if she wasn’t busy studying. When she was busy studying, Elias would leave her alone, which was what she loved most. He understood her. He never pressured her about anything. But when she did go out with him – to games or afterwards – he’d made sure she made friends with the team. So it became not just Elias – it became Brock, and Jake, and Marky, and Bo and Holly too, sometimes even Loui and Adam and JT.

But in the end, it was Elias. It was always Elias.

It was Elias leaving with her when she wanted to leave early from Canucks events she’d inevitably be at or just regular nights out with the guys. It was Elias calling cabs to take them home. It was Elias making sure she got tucked into bed safely, leaving an Advil and a glass of water on her bedside table. It was Elias making breakfast in the morning to cure any hangovers she got. It was Elias bringing her snacks or making sure she got a good night’s sleep before midterms or exams. It was Elias hugging her and telling her everything would be okay when she got stressed about a bad mark or an awful professor. It was Elias who would help celebrate her highs, and would be there for her lows.

It was always Elias.

>< >< >< >< ><

Friday

When Elias and Svea walked through the arrivals section of Minneapolis-St Paul International Airport, Brock Boeser was already waiting for them, holding a homemade sign that he had definitely scribbled in the car before getting there. They immediately walked over to him, giant smiles on their faces. He gave them big bear hugs – Brock always gave the best hugs, Svea thought, besides Elias – and grabbed Svea’s bag for her.

“It’s only about a half our drive out to Prior Lake,” he said as they walked out into the parking garage. “Did they feed you on the plane? You guys want to grab something to eat now?”

“We can just wait and eat something at the house,” Svea said.

“All my friends are at my place already. I told them to get lunch ready so hopefully they listened.”

“And if they didn’t we’re out of luck huh?” Elias joked as he settled into the passenger’s seat. Svea slipped into the back.

Svea had never been to Minnesota before – she hadn’t been anywhere in the States besides the Pacific Northwest – but she enjoyed the drive out to the lake as much as she could. When they finally arrived at the house, Svea admired the beautiful architectural design and big tree in the front. She knew the house backed onto the lake, so it would be nice to see what the backyard looked like if the front was this beautiful.

When Brock opened the front door, there was already music playing and a lot of commotion in the kitchen. Svea, on instinct, instantly became a bit nervous at all the voices she heard. She looked over at Elias quickly. “We’re back!” Brock yelled out over the music. Suddenly, a rush of people came from the kitchen. Svea was sure she was clutching onto her luggage so tightly her knuckles were white. “Did you guys make lunch?” Brock asked.

“Parker’s just finishing up,” a beautiful redhead said as she approached them. Svea could see the pattern of her bikini through her tank top. The girl stared directly at Elias, not giving her so much as a glance. “Is this Elias?”

“Okay, everybody!” Brock called out. “These are my friends Elias and Svea!” She and Elias smiled politely at everyone, and Elias even gave a dumb wave. “Petey, Svea…okay, we’ve got Kyla, Hallie, Marcus, McKenna, Brayden, Tanner, Brett, Parker’s outside on the barbecue I guess…and of course, you know—”

“Meeeeeee!” Brock’s girlfriend, Grace Gillespie screamed as she rounded the corner with her arms wide open for hugs, shoving past the crowd to get to her friends. After having not seen them for a couple of weeks, she was happy to be hosting them in Minnesota. “How was your flight? Everything go well?”

Svea gave her a warm hug. She was so glad to see a friendly face in Grace. Despite their personality differences Svea loved her and always had a good time with her. They were fairly close, especially while in Vancouver together trying to navigate the lives of Brock and Elias. “Everything was nice,” Svea nodded her head as Grace hugged Elias but kept her attention on Svea. “I’ve never been to Minnesota before. The drive out here was nice, too.”

“Okay, good,” she said, turning her attention back to Brock. “Babe, can you make sure Parker’s not burning his face off on the barbecue? I can show Elias and Svea their room.”

Brock ran out to the back while the group dispersed, Kyla and Hallie’s eyes watching them. Svea tried not to look, but she couldn’t help it as they made their way through the house, following Grace. When their eyes met, it was like Kyla and Hallie were hawks and Svea was the prey. Or was it Elias? Either way, she didn’t know, and she wasn’t sure if she wanted to find out. And when she looked at Elias again, he didn’t even seem to notice – either that, or he did and just didn’t care. As a young, star hockey player in Vancouver, he was used to people staring at him by now. There were even times where they’d be out for dinner together and people would approach their table asking for autographs or photos. Svea knew Elias wasn’t any more comfortable with it, despite it happening so often now – he was still very much uncomfortable with it – but he was learning to take it all in stride. Her, not so much. She didn’t know if she could ever get used to people wanting pictures and an autograph of her best friend. Because that’s what he still was to her, despite all his success and fame – her best friend.

Grace led them down into the basement of the house. Thankfully, it got quieter and Svea was actually able to hear her thoughts over the voices and the music. “Okay, so there’s five bedrooms upstairs and most of us are staying up there, but Brock and I know you guys, and how you like your own space and aren’t loud like the rest of them are, so we put you down here for your benefit,” Grace explained. “You’ve got the double bed and your own bathroom down here. And nobody can disturb you, so if you want to, like, take a breather, you can,” she continued, looking directly at Svea as she said the words. Svea thanked her lucky stars for Grace. When Grace opened the door, they were met with a plain but cozy bedroom. Because the basement was technically a walkout, one wall had a massive window, looking out on to the lake. There was another door that led to said washroom.

“This is so cozy,” Svea heard Elias say as he walked further into the bedroom. “Tell Brock I want him to bring me breakfast in bed down here tomorrow morning.”

Everybody couldn’t help but laugh. Svea couldn’t help but admire Elias’s smile. “Okay, well, I’ll let you two unpack and get settled,” Grace said. “Lunch should be ready in about fifteen minutes. And if I were you, I’d put on your bathing suits now because Brock’s gonna drag us all into the lake afterwards.”

She left without saying another word, leaving Svea and Elias looking at each other as they stood alone in the room. “I think I might have a headache by the end of the weekend,” Elias said.

Svea couldn’t help but snort. “I think we both will.”

“At least Grace will tell people to be quiet. Brock will only get louder,” he said as he lifted his suitcase and put it on top of the bed. Svea followed, lifting her own onto the opposite side of the bed. “You want to change and go back upstairs with everyone? I can unpack everything,” Elias offered.

“I’m not going if you’re not going,” she shook her head. It was the theme of their life together, really.

Elias smiled. “Suit yourself.”

They unpacked in relative silence, slipping past each other every so often and in and out of the washroom to put away their toiletries. Eventually Svea escaped inside the washroom to put her bathing suit on under her clothes. Elias changed while she did. When she emerged, she found him wearing an obnoxious pair of Hawaiian print swim trunks. “Did Brock buy you those?”

“He did,” Elias nodded, his smile telling her he knew they were ridiculous but there was no way he couldn’t wear them. He looked at her, standing near the doorway of the washroom, her hands adjusting the dress she’d changed into. “Are you nervous, Svea?” he asked suddenly. She couldn’t help but nod her head. “I won’t leave your side, okay?”

“Don’t worry about me, Elias.”

“That’s impossible,” he chuckled slightly, approaching her. “I worry about you constantly.”

That made Svea furrow her brows. Why would he worry about her? She didn’t think she ever gave him anything to worry about. She knew she was really reserved in big groups of people, preferring to just watch and listen rather than act and talk, but so was he. “Why do you wor—”

“Petey? Svea? Lunch is ready!” Grace called down the stairs, interrupting their conversation.

This would clearly have to be discussed later.

Elias led them back upstairs, and they looked at the back deck to see everyone congregating near the giant table as they last of the food was being put on plates by Parker. Grace grabbed Svea’s hand and led her around the table to sit next to her; Elias made sure to follow so he wasn’t stuck with any of the loud and boisterous others. Brock settled in across from him, which meant the redhead, Kyla, slid in beside him, getting a bit too close for his liking. She looked at him and smiled and he gave a tight-lipped grin back, trying to be polite, but also trying to tell her he needed more room for his elbows. He knew he wasn’t a big guy but he could barely get his hands onto the table – he’d look like a t-rex eating at this rate.

“Brock says we can call you Petey – is that okay?” Kyla asked, cocking her head to the side as she touched Elias’s forearm briefly.

“That’s fine,” he nodded quickly.

“How do you pronounce your name in Swedish, anyway? Cause I definitely want to learn how,” she continued.

“Wait! Let me do it!” Brock yelled, interrupting whatever moment Kyla was trying to create. Brock took one last look at Svea and Elias before taking a dramatic pause and saying it. “El-ee-as Pet-ter-shon.”

Svea and Elias began to clap, and Brock bowed in his seat. Elias’s smile was wide at Brock’s pronunciation. “Good job. Now we can move on to our ABCs.”

After lunch, Brock took Elias, Svea, Grace, Kyla, and Parker out on the boat. They zigzagged around the lake, the hot sun beaming down on them as Brock eventually stopped in the middle of the lake so they could swim and sunbathe for a bit. He cracked open a couple of beers and stripped down to his swim trunks. Kyla stood up in front of Elias and took her shirt off practically right in front of him, exposing her bikini. Svea couldn’t help but watch, wondering if Elias noticed how well Kyla filled it out. Svea never filled anything out. Whereas Kyla had a beautifully athletic body, Svea had nothing of the sort. She wondered if Elias noticed the difference between them. He’d known Svea practically his whole life, but Kyla would be a shiny new toy. Kyla seemed pretty dead set on getting his attention at lunch, and she was clearly taking the next step. Even when she jumped into the lake from the boat and came back on, soaking wet and body now practically glistening in the sunlight, she made sure to dry herself in front of Elias too, perching her leg on the edge of the boat to show off her long legs.

When they got back to the cottage after a few hours of being out on the lake, homemade pizzas were waiting to be devoured as dinner. And when dinner was over, Grace suggested an innocent movie night before the rowdiness of tomorrow, so everybody changed into their pajamas, poured bowls of popcorn and chips and Skittles, and sprawled out over the couches. Svea had a bowl of chips in her hands as she watched Kyla settle in next to Elias on the couch, almost instantly beginning to chat him up about the movie. Elias smiled and nodded but was soon looking around the room. When his eyes found her, he got up from the couch. Kyla was mid-sentence.

“You coming to sit?” he asked, grabbing the chip bowl and leading her to the armchair. He sat down first, scooting over to the edge until Svea sat beside him. Brock threw a blanket at her and she unfolded it right before Elias grabbed her legs and swung them over his lap. She laid the blanket on top of them.

Kyla was glaring at her. Nobody else seemed to notice, but Svea felt Kyla’s eyes burning a hole into her. Svea tried as much as possible to ignore it, but she could still feel it.

“Comfortable?” Elias asked.

Svea nodded her head. “I think you were meant to sit beside someone else,” she quipped, quickly and in Swedish so no-one else would understand.

Elias followed Svea’s line of site and saw Kyla staring, but the second she saw Elias staring too, she looked away, her face softening from its previous glare. Elias chuckled slightly. “Her forwardness scares me.”

“She’s flirting with you, you know. She’s got the hots for you.”

“I don’t care.”

She felt his hand rest in-between her legs, just above her knee, still shielded under the blanket. When she settled into his chest, and the movie started, she felt his thumb rub circles along her skin. It wasn’t anything out of the ordinary – he did this all the time – but in a room full of people, and one girl in particular who seemed to want to get him into bed with her, it was a bold move.

Svea sighed. This was going to be an interesting weekend.

>< >< >< >< ><

Saturday

Svea barely remembered falling asleep during the movie, and she barely remembered being led downstairs to their room by Elias who proceeded to tuck her into bed and cuddle against her in bed, pulling her back against his chest as he wrapped an arm around her. When she awoke the next morning on her back, Elias’s one arm was still draped over her while the other was underneath the pillows. His blonde hair – usually combed back into his signature slick look – was everywhere, sticking up in every direction because of the pillow. His face looked so peaceful as he slept, the softest of snores escaping him.

Svea and Elias did this a lot: cuddle on a couch and be a bit handsy before sleeping in the same bed together, then wake up with their limbs all tangled and their faces so close to each other if they moved one inch forward, they would kiss. Maybe they shouldn’t, because it could lead to complicated feelings and mixed signals and messages, but they did. It was what they did. It started so long ago in Ånge and followed them to Vancouver and Svea didn’t—couldn’t—never wanted to stop. Did that make her selfish? Did it hold her back from meeting a nice guy? Did it hold Elias back from meeting a nice girl?

Elias never really asked, but neither did she, about any of that sort of stuff – mostly because they both knew. They both knew the other didn’t do stuff like that – hook up with people randomly, or without thought. They weren’t like that and weren’t those types of people. The last time they’d asked each other about that, the outcome was much, much different.

It was a quiet night in Ånge, with their parents both out for one reason or another. Emil was out for a friend’s birthday, and Sigrid was already in Stockholm for university. They were watching a movie, cuddled with her legs in his lap and his arm around her back under the same blanket on the couch. Truth be told, she hadn’t been paying much attention to the movie – she had other thoughts on her mind, ever since they started cuddling and Elias had put his arm around her and settled it on the hem of her pants, his fingertips grazing her skin every so often. This wasn’t the first time they cuddled together underneath a blanket. This wasn’t even the first time his fingertips touched her skin there. But because they were alone, and because Svea was…well, curious, she couldn’t help but have that curiosity get the best of her.

“Elias?” she asked in a fake-sweet voice, turning her attention away from the TV and to his face.

“Svea?” he asked back, using an equally-fake-but-sweet tone, but not looking at her.

“Do you like any girls at school?”

That caught his attention enough to have him look down at her skeptically. “What’s this about?”

She didn’t know what to say, because it’s not like she wanted to actually tell him what was really on her mind. She should have thought this through much more. She shrugged her shoulders, trying to seem nonchalant. “I’m just wondering.”

“Why? Did you hear something?”

“No.”

“Good,” he sighed out of relief. “And to answer your question – no. I don’t like any girls at school. You know I only have eyes for you anyway.”

“Oh shut up, Elias,” Svea slapped his chest and rolled her eyes at him. “You’re so full of shit.”

“Am not!” he argued, a smile playing on his face since he knew by her tone she was joking. “You’re the only girl that’s worth my time, Svea. You know that. I wouldn’t be cuddling with anyone else but you.”

“But do you think…” she found herself saying, unable to just shut the hell up. “Like, you’re not interested in the girls in our grade, but what if a boy is interested in me?”

Elias looked down at her again, brows even more furrowed and an angry look on his face. “Who?!”

“Nobody, Elias. Calm down,” she said. “I’m just saying. Is it horrible that I wouldn’t feel comfortable if a boy in our grade wanted to kiss me or something? I mean I’m sixteen but I haven’t even had my first kiss yet,” Svea knew she was just word vomiting now. She couldn’t help herself, but besides Sigrid, Elias was the only person she could have these conversations with.

“Of course it’s not horrible,” Elias said. “You’re too good for everybody in our grade anyway. Nobody should be kissing you.”

“I don’t think I’d feel comfortable with anybody besides you,” she mumbled absent-mindedly.

“What was that?”

She sighed heavily, not wanting to have to repeat herself since she was instantly embarrassed that she’d admitted those words out loud. But she knew Elias wouldn’t let it go, so she met his eyes shyly. “I said I don’t think I’d feel comfortable with anybody besides you.”

Elias paused, realizing the weight of her words as they hung in the air. He barely even blinked as the words ruminated in his mind. Svea almost wanted to pinch him because he was too quiet – even for him. All anybody ever said about him was that he was quiet, but he was being too quiet now. She was about to impulsively just get up and leave when he finally spoke. “I wouldn’t feel comfortable with anybody besides you, either.”

“Really?” she asked softly.

“Of course not,” he said. “I wouldn’t…I wouldn’t even want to,” he expressed sheepishly.

Svea shivered. She looked into Elias’s eyes and saw everything she loved about him. His humility, his sense of humour he only reserved for her and a select few others, his sense of self. There was a reason they had stayed best friends all these years, and that high school hadn’t changed anything. “Elias…” she gulped.

“Svea,” he mimicked her tone again.

“Elias…if…do you want to—I mean, would you—I—I—if we could lose our virginity to each other, would you?”

Svea and Elias found themselves in his bedroom, staring at the other as they stood a few feet away from each other. Both were barely breathing, too focused on the emotions being shown on the face of the other to think about something as trivial as breathing. Svea knew she didn’t want to be doing this with anyone else besides Elias, but she was still nervous. What if she didn’t kiss well? What if her breath smelled? What if Elias wasn’t attracted to her once he saw her naked? What is she did something wrong and—

“Svea?”

“Elias?”

“Are you really nervous like me?” he asked sheepishly.

She nodded her head. She could almost feel her insides trembling as much as she was on the outside. “Maybe we should start kissing.”

Elias nodded his head. “Kissing is a good start.”

They stepped towards each other until they were chest-to-chest. Elias brought his hands up slowly to cup Svea’s face before he craned his neck down. Their first kiss was soft, their lips barely touching before Elias pulled away slightly to make sure it was okay with Svea. When she saw the look in his eyes and she nodded her head, he continued, deeper this time, and they continued like that for a while, kissing as Elias cupped her face.

It was Svea who first dragged her tongue against his bottom lip, and he pulled back momentarily. He looked at her. “Yeah?”

“Yeah,” she nodded quickly. “And, um, Elias…”

“What is it?”

“You can—you can touch me places besides my face.”

Elias nodded his head nervously. “Okay. Sorry.”

“You don’t need to apologize.”

“Are your hips okay?”

“Everywhere is okay.”

He nodded again, their lips coming together again with Svea’s tongue automatically snaking its way into Elias’s mouth. He began to do the same, his hands dragging down her sides and settling on her hips, pulling her body against his even more.

This felt nice to her. Everything with Elias felt right. Was this what she had been missing out on these past few years with boys? Svea mentally punched herself for not doing this sooner. Well, not doing this sooner with Elias. His lips were so soft, and they moved so in tune with hers. His hands traveled up her back underneath her t-shirt from her hips, making her shiver slightly. She liked how his hands felt against her skin as they grazed higher and higher, eventually meeting the bralette she was wearing. She moved her own hands down to the hem of his pants before tugging on the bottom of his t-shirt. “Can I take off your shirt?” she mumbled against his lips.

Elias didn’t say anything – he just helped her tug off his shirt before his hands went to the hem of hers and he pulled hers off as well. As her top was discarded to the side, she looked at him looking at her exposed body. He’d seen her with this much exposed skin before – in a bathing suit though – but this time was obviously different. This time was much more intimate. He feasted on the site before him, breathing heavily as he noticed the goosebumps on her skin. He looked her in the eyes and didn’t speak a word – but in that look, she knew he was telling her she was beautiful. He began kissing her again, wanting to feel her entire body with his hands and beginning to undertake that mission.

Svea tiled her head back and took in the sensation of Elias’s hands wandering all over her body, and suddenly she could feel his lips on her neck, putting her into another state of exhilaration. He kissed all the way down to her collarbone while she sunk her nails into the skin of his back. She let out a small moan as Elias sucked on her neck, not knowing that simple act could pour so much passion and energy into a person. Her hands grazed the waistband of his sweatpants. She could feel his breath hitch in his throat.

“Is that okay?” she asked, to which he nodded his head. She pushed them down gently, leaving him standing in his underwear. His hands mimicked hers. She stepped out of her pants and was now left in only her bralette and underwear. “Can we lie down on the bed?” she asked, not even bothering to wait for his answer before she sat down on the bed.

Elias looked down at Svea, and he couldn’t help the smile that overtook his face. “Oh my God…” he mumbled to himself.

“What’s so funny?” she asked, a worried look on her face.

“Your lips are so red from all the kissing. I kind of feel bad,” Elias giggled.

Svea couldn’t help but giggle as well as she brought her hand up quickly to feel her lips. They didn’t feel any more swollen, but what did she know? This was her first time, after all. She still had a burning question on her mind though. “Does—Does it feel okay? Do you like it?” she asked timidly.

Elias looked at her as if she were crazy. “You mean you can’t tell?” he asked, looking down to his lap.

Svea snorted at his crassness, shaking her head at him as they continued to giggle. Better giggling with your best friend in bed, she thought, rather than having anxiety and being uncomfortable with someone else. “Kiss me, Elias,” she smiled, and Elias was all too happy to comply.

They started by lying beside each other, kissing some more as Elias felt her up through her bralette and she palmed his hard-on through his boxers, but soon enough Elias was on top of her, and she could feel his entire body against hers. She felt like she was on fire – but in a good way; like a jolt of electricity had just shocked her. The best part of the experience was that she was doing everything subconsciously. She wasn’t thinking, for once – she was just doing. It gave her confidence to know that despite a lifetime of inaction, somehow her body knew what to do with how she was feeling. Nothing was forced. Everything felt natural, like it was supposed to be happening, and supposed to be happening only with Elias.

Then, he helped her take off her bralette.

Then, she helped him pull down his boxers.

Then, he helped her pull down her underwear.

“Did you get the condom from your brother’s room?” she whispered, and Elias nodded his head. He rolled off of her momentarily to reach over to the bedside table and grab it, opening the package and taking it out. “Do you need help?” she asked again, her breath heavy.

“I think I’ll be okay,” he said. She tried to give him some privacy by looking away, but she was too intrigued and ended up just staring. She hoped he didn’t feel embarrassed or anything – it was more of an education for both of them, really.

When he was finished, he kissed her again before getting back on top of her. “Svea…”

“Yes Elias?”

“If you ever want to stop, we can stop, okay?”

Svea nodded. “Okay.”

“Like if it hurts – we can stop. It’s not gonna be awkward if we stop. So just tell me.”

“Okay. Okay.”

He entered her slowly. It felt like nothing Svea had ever felt before, and she didn’t even know how to describe it – only that it felt right. There were no other words she could use. He pushed in a little bit further and there was a little bit of pain. She closed her eyes and winced.

“Svea?” Elias’s frantic whisper made her open her eyes. “Svea are you okay?”

“Yes, yes I’m fine,” she said unconvincingly.

“Am I hurting you?”

She couldn’t lie to him, so she nodded her head slightly. “But it’s okay.”

“I can stop—”

“Don’t,” she cut him off. “It’s okay, Elias. Just keep going.”

“You’re sure?”

“Yes. Don’t worry.”

He kept pushing. He hated to see the winces on her face so he decided to give her light kisses in hopes of easing the pain. When he was fully inside of her, they both stayed still to adjust to the new feeling. They were barely breathing, but had locked eyes with one another. “I love you, Svea,” he whispered tenderly.

They said those three words to each other all the time, because they did – they did love each other. What kind of love that was still remained to be seen, but because there were so many different types of love, Svea and Elias knew they loved each other in certain ways. It was why Svea had absolutely no hesitation in responding to him. “I love you too, Elias.”

As he looked into her eyes and she gave a slight nod of her head, he began moving in and out of her slowly, making sure he wasn’t hurting her or going too fast. Soon, instead of pain she began to feel pleasure, and it felt good, and she began to try to move in sync with his body. She could hear Elias grunt slightly as she did so, and she thought that he must be feeling some pleasure too, to make that noise – well at least she hoped. “Does it feel okay?” she couldn’t help but ask.

Elias nodded his head dramatically. “You feel really good.”

“I do?”

“Yeah…it…fuck, you just feel really good,” he said. She brought her hands up to cup his face. “Does it feel good for you too?” he asked.

“Yeah.”

“I want to make sure it feels good for you,” he admitted. “Will…will you tell me?”

Svea nodded and Elias kissed her again, continuing to move in and out of her and making her feel good. Their soft moans became more laboured and heavier, and Svea could feel herself getting close. What her friends had always told her would happen was happening, and she almost didn’t know how to cope with the feeling. “Elias…Elias…”

“Are you close?”

“Keep going, Elias,” she closed her eyes, ready for the feeling to take over her.

“Look at me.”

She was shocked by his request, but she opened her eyes to find him staring at her. “I love you,” he told her again, and every inch of her body – from the blonde hairs atop her head to the tips of her toes – knew he meant it.

“I love you too.”

Svea felt a wave of pleasure wash over, and she arched her back and moaned out as it overtook her entire body. She felt Elias pulsating inside of her, and the desperate noises he was making, along with the heavy breathing and the trembling of his body as he buried his head into the crook of her neck meant she knew he’d just experienced the same thing.

He collapsed on top of her gently, his body still shaking as he tried to regain his breath. She wrapped her arms around him and tried to remember how this all felt – the feeling of his lips on hers; the feeling of his hands all over her body; the feeling of his hand on her breasts; the feeling of him inside her, which she knew would end soon when he’d have to pull out and they’d have to clean up. Selfishly, she wanted this moment to last forever. It was the sweetest, softest, most incredible thing she’d experienced in her short life.

Elias pushed himself up slightly, just enough so he was able to look her in the eye. “Did it feel good?” he asked.

Svea nodded her head. “It was the best feeling I’ve ever felt.”

“Me too,” Elias admitted. “I…I just wanted to make sure it felt good for you. I wouldn’t have cared if I didn—”

She couldn’t help but raise her head to kiss him to get him to shut up. She didn’t want him to ramble in this moment. He readily reciprocated the kiss, eventually pulling out of her and laying on his side. They kissed for a few moments longer before Svea pulled away. “Should we clean up?”

Elias seemed a bit taken aback by the question. “Uh, yeah, of course,” he said, trying to make it seem like he wasn’t. “But um, afterwards…can we—do you want to keep kis—I mean, do you want to stay tonight?”

When they cuddled afterwards – after cleaning up, and after Elias methodically disposed of the condom so nobody in his family would find out – Svea put on some of his old clothes and slipped into his bed. Elias followed close behind, wearing a pair of a boxers and an old t-shirt, and he cuddled up to her automatically.

Elias and Svea fell asleep like that, and when Emil got home that night and checked Elias’s bedroom to make sure he was home and saw them cuddled in the bed together, he smiled to himself.

When Svea woke up the next morning, Elias was using her chest as a pillow. And when he woke up after feeling her move, he gave her one last kiss before hearing all the noise in the kitchen. They went about their day normally. His parents didn’t think anything of it because Svea slept over so often; neither did her parents, really. They just smiled and fed her breakfast and treated her like family, as they always did. She and Elias always acknowledged what happened with each other (they didn’t tell a soul what happened – no friends, no family, nobody) but didn’t make a big deal out of it. There was no reason to. They’d done it out of love, out of some curiosity, but mostly out of love. It didn’t complicate things. If anything, it reinforced their love for one another – that they could do something so intimate, and experience it for the first time together, and not have it change things between them.

“What are you thinking about?” Elias’s soft mumble surprised her. His eyes were still closed but she could feel his legs move slightly, brushing up against hers.

“Ånge,” she lied – only slightly.

“Do you miss it?”

“Yeah,” she said softly. She missed not having to worry about Elias getting a concussion or injured in hockey. She missed how simple their lives were when they were sixteen and thought to themselves one night, “let’s have sex”.

“We’ll be home soon,” he said, finally opening his eyes. They were so sleepy as they looked right into hers, and he shifted so he could pull her body closer to his. “I know that you miss your mom and dad and that you miss Sigrid. I’m sure you miss Sundsvall too. Being by the water. When we stay at my place I know that’s your favourite part. It’s why I bought it.”

She felt a shiver run up her spine at his words. He’d never told her that before. “Do you ever get sick of me, Elias?”

“Never,” he replied automatically, nestling his head down so it was almost in the crook of her neck.

“Not even when I’m stressed about university?”

“Never.”

“Not even when you have to drive me around places because I’m scared of driving in Vancouver?”

“Never.”

“Not even when we spend time together in Ånge, then in Sundsvall, then in Stockholm, and we’re like, always together, even in the same room, all the time?”

“Never.”

“Why not?” she asked.

“Because we’re the same, Svea,” he said, like it was so simple. “We’re an extension of the other. And if you can’t be in the same room with yourself – if you can’t be with yourself all the time, then who can you be with?”

Another shiver ran up her spine – more powerful this time – and Elias could tell because yet again, he tightened his grip around her. He rested his lips on the exposed part of her skin where her neck met her shoulder and kissed her lightly. She looked down at him. “For the record, I never get sick of you either,” she said.

“Good,” he said. “Because I’m dragging you with me everywhere.”

“Oh yeah? And where are we going?”

“Upstairs to get coffee.”

Svea giggled as Elias rose from his position, looking down at her as his hair fell in front of his face. It was only then that should could smell the distinct aroma of the coffee he mentioned. He didn’t bother brushing his hair, instead settling with just pushing it back with his hands. Svea took a hairband and put half of her hair up in a messy bun before she followed Elias up the stairs. Luckily, they came face to face with Brock and Grace as they were pouring themselves the first batch of coffee.

“Where’s everyone else?” Svea asked, even though she was grateful for the quietness they had now.

“Still sleeping, probably too hungover to get up this early,” Grace whispered, handing Svea the cup of coffee she just poured. “Want to come out on the deck with me?”

“Of course.”

The girls went out on the deck and sat at the table; the last thing heard being Brock chirping Elias about how bad his hair looked. “Did you guys have a good sleep?” Grace asked.

Svea nodded her head. “Thanks for putting us down there.”

Grace gave her a knowing nod. “I knew, don’t worry.” She paused as she took a sip of her coffee. “So you and Elias…” she began.

Svea knew immediately where the conversation was headed. Although Svea loved Grace she wasn’t going to tell her what he’d said to her that morning. It was a personal moment not meant to be shared. Grace had been telling her for months that it was clear Elias felt something different, but Svea wasn’t so sure. He’d always acted the same around her, so she honestly couldn’t tell. “Still nothing, Grace.”

“You guys are going to be the death of me,” she was exasperated. “Do you honestly think he feels nothing for you?”

Svea shook her head. “I know that Elias loves me,” she began. “That’s not a question. But does he love me the way you’re implying? I don’t know. We’ve known each other for so long, Grace. We’ve been through everything together. It’s different when you literally grow up with someone. But like…dating? Romantic love? We’re only twenty-one. I don’t know if Elias even wants that with me.” She paused to fiddle with her hands. “Besides, I think Kyla is really into him.”

“Kyla and McKenna werent’t even supposed to be here. And if Kyla tries something with Elias, I will throw her into the lake,” Grace deadpanned. Svea couldn’t help but laugh. Grace reached over and placed her hand on Svea’s forearm. “Svea, come on. If you think Elias doesn’t want that with you, you’re wrong.”

Svea looked at the window, seeing the boys talking about something while standing next to the stove. She could only imagine how much Brock was chirping Elias about his hair – he probably hadn’t stopped. Sometimes, at night, she truly did wonder if Elias saw her in any other way besides his best friend – if he saw her as a romantic interest, as a partner – hell, sometimes even just as a woman. But she tried not to dwell on those thoughts for too long, because she knew they’d overtake her more rational thoughts eventually, and then she’d have a mess on her hands. Elias, in many ways, was her everything, and more than anything, she wondered if she was his everything too.

“So you and Svea…” Brock began, his voice low so no-one upstairs would overhear, and so Svea and Grace outside couldn’t hear him either. Even though he would love to see them together, and thought they were taking their sweet ass time (obviously) and were made for each other (obviously), he wanted to stay out of it and let things happen naturally. If there was one thing he knew about Petey, it was to not force him into things. Grace had other ideas. She wanted Brock to help her get to the bottom of it. She wanted to know all the details. And, well, Brock loved his girlfriend, so here he was.

“What about it?” Elias asked.

“Bud, you can’t stand there and tell me there’s nothing between you.”

Elias sighed. “I don’t want to get into it.”

“That’s great, ‘cause I do. You mean to tell me nothing happened last night?”

Elias gave Brock one of his infamous death stares. He knew Brock wouldn’t let it go and that they death stare had no use. He shook his head slightly. “No, nothing happened last night. I don’t want to risk it.”

“Risk what?”

“Losing her.”

Brock furrowed his brows. “What on earth makes you think you’d lose her? Do you honestly think she doesn’t have feelings for you?”

“We’ve grown up together, Brock. It’s different. I know Svea loves me. She’s been there for me through everything, through all the hockey, and she never complained once,” Elias shook his head again. “I can’t be selfish and demand this from her too. Besides, I don’t know if she wants that with me. It…I…just…I love her, Brock – in all the ways a person can love another person, but—”

“But do you love her romantically?” Brock asked.

Elias paused. His mouth dropped open, about to say his answer that he knew definitively in his heart, until out of the corner of his eye, he saw a figure. He looked over to his right to see Kyla stretching at the foot of the stairs, her pyjama t-shirt riding up to expose her midriff. It was very obvious she wasn’t wearing a bra. “Good morning,” she cooed after she finished her stretch, looking directly at Elias.

Brock looked like he was about to punch a wall. Elias looked away from what she was trying to show off. “Good morning.”

“Is that coffee I smell?” she asked, walking into the kitchen.

“Just made,” Brock said, his voice monotone. “Are the others up?”

“McKenna’s just about to come down,” she said, stepping in between Elias and Brock. Brock left the situation. She peeked up at Elias through her eyelashes. “Have a good sleep?” she asked.

“The best.”

“Is it cold in the basement?” she asked, her voice low so only Elias could hear her. “Need some warming up?”

Her forwardness really did scare him. “It’s not cold down there when Svea’s there,” he said.

Kyla’s face immediately dropped. Before she could try to flirt some more, Grace and Svea walked back in from the back deck. Svea was almost immediately looking at Elias, trying to survey the situation. “Should we start breakfast?” Grace asked, moving past Kyla towards the fridge. Grace gave her a death stare for being so close to Elias. “What do you want to work on?”

As more of the guests made their way down the stairs, every chose a job to do – Svea and Elias worked on the bacon; Brock and Grace the scrambled eggs; Kyla made toast; Marcus worked on setting the table; Brayden made the sausages; Brett and Parker cut up fruit. McKenna and Hallie made more coffee. Breakfast was ready in no time.

When everybody began to sit around the table, Svea was shocked to see Kyla sit beside her. “So Brock told us you live in Vancouver, too,” she said, smiling. “Whereabouts?”

“Oh, um, Yaletown. Same as Brock and Elias,” she said, omitting the face that she lived with him.

“Oh my God, that’s so cool,” Kyla put some scrambled eggs onto her plate. Svea knew she didn’t really care. “And how do you know Elias?”

Svea knew Kyla cared about that, so she gave into the questioning because she knew everyone else in the house save for Brock, Grace, and Elias would think she was a bitch if she didn’t. “We met when we were three – we grew up together in Sweden.”

“And then you followed him to Vancouver?”

“No no no,” Svea shook her head vehemently. She could see Elias smile as he settled in on the edge of the bench beside her. “Elias followed me.”

“Elias followed you?”

“Svea always wanted to go to UBC because her mom is originally from Vancouver,” Grace piped in, stuffing a piece of strawberry into her mouth. “Svea got accepted first. Then Petey was drafted, but stayed in Sweden for a year. Then he signed with the Canucks and the rest is history.”

“Svea could have told me, Grace,” Kyle said teasingly as she gave a look to Svea. “You’re so quiet, girl. Speak up a bit.”

“Svea speaks when she wants to,” Grace quipped again. “And more importantly, when she needs to.”

When breakfast was over, everybody showered, got ready, and changed into their bathing suits before heading outside for another day out on the water and patio. Brock commandeered his boat and suggested some wakeboarding and other watersports out on the lake. In the smaller boat, Brayden, Brett, Parker, and Hallie followed them out onto the lake. There was no way Svea would wakeboard, but she knew Elias liked it. She opted to take photos and videos of Elias doing so instead. His parents were going to kill him.

They were out having fun on the water for so long – diving off the boat, swimming, wakeboarding, tanning, drinking, relaxing, talking – that nobody noticed they didn’t have lunch. They just kept up their activities, with Elias wakeboarding a few times, followed by Brock while Marcus commandeered the boat. Parker did a few cool flips while he wakeboarded. It was hot, the sun was shining, and Svea was having the time of her life. For those hours they were out on the lake, what Elias had said to her that morning in bed, and what Kyla had said and done (and continued to say and do) didn’t matter; she was just a girl out on a boat with her friends, and life couldn’t get any better.

But then, of course, reality set back in. More hours isolated on the boat meant more drinking. Not from Svea, of course, because she knew her limit and because she didn’t want to get drunk in front of, statistically, more people she didn’t know than did; and not from Brock or Brett, because they had to drive the damn boats; but from the others – Marcus, before he drove the boat; and Grace, because she wanted to have fun; and Kyla, because she was Kyla; and McKenna, because Svea had no clue anymore because it wasn’t like McKenna spoke three words to her since the moment she got there.

Svea was expecting nothing when everyone wanted to take one last dip in the lake before they went back to the house. So when they all stood at the edge of the boat, and when Brock was finished taking the Instagram picture for Kyla of all of them with their hands around each other’s backs, they all jumped. Svea hit the water hard and deep, like divers usually did, but something felt different. Something felt…off. And when she emerged from the water, wiping her eyes and trying to figure out what it was, it hit her like a tonne of bricks.

Where was her top?

She felt everything in her stop. When Elias emerged from the water and looked around to find her, the first thing he noticed was the petrified look on her face. “Svea?” he asked.

“Yooooohooooo!” McKenna’s giggles were loud. Svea turned around to face everybody else: Grace, Kyla, Marcus, Brayden, Brett, Parker, Hallie, and McKenna, only to see McKenna waving her bathing suit top above her head. Svea’s bathing suit top.

She was absolutely mortified.

She screamed out in fear, finally having the wherewithal to cover her exposed breasts by hugging herself. Kyla’s laughs and enthusiastic woos filled her mind as McKenna whipped it around like a lasso, like it was some prize they’d won. In a way, it was: she’d won in making Svea feel completely embarrassed and uncomfortable and humiliated.

“What the hell McKenna! Give it back!” she heard Brock scream from the boat. Svea watched as Elias swam over to McKenna and snatch the top out of her hands. Grace looked like she was going to perform a ritualistic murder right then and there.

“Oh come on! It’s just a little bit of fun!” McKenna tried to defend herself.

“It’s how you get christened in Minnesota!” Kyla added. “Everybody knows that!”

Svea tried not to focus on them anymore; they would defend themselves to the last second before the door dropped for the noose, so there wasn’t any point in listening. Instead, she tried to focus on calming her emotions that she knew would bubble over – the tears that were threatening to escape, the flush of red to her cheeks, the nervous shaking from all the embarrassment of these girls and these men probably seeing her practically naked body underneath the water before she even realized what was going on. She tried to focus on Elias, swimming back to her with her bathing suit top in his hands. “Elias…” she said her voice extremely shaky.

“It’s okay, it’s okay,” he cooed, swimming up to cover her before handling the bikini top, trying to figure out which part went over her head. She grabbed it from him to try to help. “I got you, it’s okay.”

“Elias I’m so embarrassed,” she cried, her hands trembling too much to do it. “I can’t—I can’t—”

“Here, let me,” he mumbled, taking the top back from her.

“Could they see everything? Be honest.”

“No. You can’t see anything in lake water Svea,” he said quickly.

She knew he was probably lying to her – the lake water was clear as fucking day. “Elias—”

“It’s okay—”

“Elias I’m mortified.”

“It’s okay, it’s okay,” he kept repeating, putting the top back on over her head before turning her around without warning so he could tie it for her. “You’re okay, Svea. You’re okay.”

“Everybody saw my boobs Elias,” she cried again, still clutching onto them through her bikini top like they were going to fall out again. He wrapped an arm around her and began swimming back to the boat. “Only you’ve ever seen my boobs.”

Elias looked at her when she said the last sentence. She couldn’t discern the look on his face. “And it stayed that way,” he said. “Nobody saw, Svea. The water was all…wavy.”

Elias let her climb back onto the boat first, where Brock was ready with an open towel for her. “Here you go, sweetheart,” he said, wrapping her in it.

“Thanks, Brock.”

He absolutely hated hearing the defeat and embarrassment in her voice. “Grace will take care of Kyla and McKenna, don’t worry,” he said quickly as everybody else began climbing up the ladder and back onto the boat.

The first thing McKenna did when she got back on the boat – even before drying herself off, which was what you were supposed to do – was finish off her beer. Grace glared at her once she finally grabbed a towel. “You need to apologize,” Grace said firmly, looking right at McKenna. “What you did was so mean.”

“Oh come on, it wasn’t a big deal,” McKenna rolled her eyes. Svea wondered if that was the alcohol talking or if McKenna was really like this. She couldn’t imagine Brock being friends with someone like her. But then she remembered that Kyla and McKenna weren’t even supposed to be here this weekend, and it all sort of made sense. Maybe they were friends of friends, and Brock was too nice to say no. Maybe he knew them only casually, and they tagged along unannounced to take advantage of being at an NHL player’s house for the weekend.

“It was a big deal to Svea,” Grace continued, her voice still firm. Grace looked at her to see her face still sullen.

“It’s fine,” Svea mumbled out, Elias’s arm wrapped tightly around her shoulder as she sat on his lap. She didn’t want to cause any trouble, regardless. She was a guest at Brock’s house as much as McKenna was, and didn’t want or need the added attention on her.

“I’m sooooorrryyyy, Svea,” McKenna laughed through her apology. “But you’re considered a Minnesotan now, so take that a bonus.”

Svea didn’t respond. She just nodded her head down and nestled further onto Elias, letting her head lean against his as Brock navigated back to the house. McKenna and Kyla didn’t have a care in the world as they continued to talk to each other the entire way back, shooting a few looks her way throughout the journey back. They disembarked the boat first before running into the house. Brock helped Svea get off the boat, where she immediately went down to the basement to take a shower. She felt like she had to get all the lake grime off of her before everybody started prepping for dinner.

As she changed into regular clothes and stood in front of the mirror trying to French braid her hair, she heard the hustle and bustle from upstairs. She tried to pay it no mind until she began to hear voices – all too familiar voices.

“Petey is so hot and cold, don’t you think?” Kyla voice was a bit muffled, but it definitely sounded more sober than what it sounded like half an hour ago when she issued her fake apology. Svea stood silent. Maybe eavesdropping wasn’t the most noble of things to do, but she was going to do it anyway. “I don’t know if he even registers that I’m flirting with him.”

“I think that alien is hot for only one person here, and that’s Svea,” she heard McKenna retort.

“You think so?”

“You don’t see the way he looks at her all the time? They’re even sleeping in the same bed.”

“Yeah, but Brock said they grew up together in Sweden—”

“So?” McKenna retorted. “That ‘she’s like my little sister’ line guys always pull is bullshit. And Petey didn’t even say that about her. They’re best friends. Well, best friends. You know what that’s code for.”

“Well, hopefully by the end of the weekend he’ll have a new best friend,” Kyla chirped.

“Listen, if anybody in this house could pull it off, it’s you,” McKenna encouraged her. “He was eyeing you in your bikini yesterday. I mean, you’re much more appealing that way than she is. Every guy loves a good flirt. Just use what you’ve got and I’m sure he’ll open up to it. Only problem is Svea’s gonna have to sleep on the couch when you do.”

The girls giggled and Svea could feel her blood boil. Elias wasn’t hers by any means, and she didn’t own him in any way, shape, or form, but Elias was hers. In every sense, he was hers, and she was getting angry at herself for getting angry at these girls for wanting him. Who was she to stop him from getting what he wanted if he really wanted Kyla? And who was she to cry and be upset about it when Elias was a grown man and she was a grown woman capable of making their own decisions about who they liked and who they slept with? She quickly fastened the end of her French braid with an elastic and wiped away the angry tears that fell, trying hard not to cry so she wouldn’t go back upstairs with red eyes. She’d already been embarrassed once today; she didn’t need to be embarrassed again.

She waited a few minutes until her emotions subsided before she walked back upstairs. Almost everybody had congregated in the kitchen. She saw Elias sitting outside on the deck. Kyla was already all over him, pressed up against him. She didn’t quit. Svea had to at least admire her persistence.

That night, after dinner and drinking and drinking games and loud music and laughing and singing and even some drunken dancing, Svea watched as Kyla plopped herself into Elias’s lap as they all sat in Adirondack chairs around the firepit near the water. Grace bought boxes of smores kits and they were wrapping them in foil for everyone to toast over the fire. The boys were still drinking and finishing off the rest of the beers; Kyla was finishing hers as she sat on Elias’s lap. Kyla was looking into Elias’s eyes as she sat on Elias’s lap. Kyla was giggling and flirting as she sat on Elias’s lap. Kyla wiggled her butt suggestively as she sat on Elias’s lap.

And as long as Kyla was going to sit on Elias’s lap, Svea couldn’t be there.

She wondered if Grace could see her almost constant glances in their direction. She felt a rumbling in her stomach, probably from all the alcohol that was now mixing with the jealousy that roared in her belly. A lethal combination for anyone, Svea thought, least for her, who’d grown up with him and watched him mature and was now watching as another girl was trying to take him from her, slipping him through her fingers like sand on a beach.

“Can you save mine? I just want to go to the washroom for a quick second,” Svea said as she stood up.

“Don’t be long. There’s only so long I can wait to have chocolate,” she smiled and winked.

Svea walked the path up to Brock’s house and walked inside. Luckily there was nobody else inside, so she was free to be alone – alone with her thoughts, her emotions, and the tears that threatened to spill, yet again. Did she have a right to be jealous? Did she have a right to feel these feelings for Elias and have them bubble up because of the persistent actions of another girl? She didn’t know what to do. She didn’t know what to think.

Svea didn’t know how long she was in the house alone for. But as she was lost in her thoughts, she heard the screen door open. She looked up to see Elias. He was glad he didn’t have to look hard to find her. “Hi.”

“Hi Elias.”

“What are you doing in here?” he asked, closing the door behind him.

Svea shrugged her shoulders. “Just thinking.” She used that answer a lot on him. He was used to it. The alternative to talking, which she expected Kyla did a lot of outside with him anyway. He walked over and sat beside her on the couch – right beside her, leaving her no room. He took her hand and held it in his. Her brows furrowed slightly. “Why’re your hands so clammy?” she asked.

“Why do you think?” he asked. “I had to spend twenty minutes outside with Kyla on my lap trying to get me hard.”

The jealousy roared in her belly again. Here it was. He came in to ask her the inevitable request for her to sleep on the couch tonight so he could bring Kyla down to the basement instead. Grace would have to get her an extra blanket and pillow. Her back would hurt tomorrow morning. She’d have to wake up whenever the first person came down and offer to make coffee and—

“Are you here to ask me to sleep on the couch tonight?” Svea blurted out.

Elias furrowed his brows, looking at her like she had three heads. “Why would I make you sleep on the couch?”

“Because you want to sleep with Kyla,” Svea said matter-of-factly.

Elias froze. “Svea,” he deadpanned.

“Elias?”

“Svea, you’re the smartest person I know, but you can be incredibly dumb sometimes.”

Svea was taken aback by his words. He often teased her like this, maintaining that she often didn’t see things that were right in front of her. Maybe it was one of her many faults, along with so many other things she was learning about herself this weekend, perhaps the worst being how possessive she was over him. “What do you mean?”

“Svea—” Elias tried to begin, but he couldn’t find the right words. He sighed before continuing. “Do you remember that night in Ånge where my brother rented all the Austin Powers movies and we spent the entire night watching them?”

“Yes…”

“Well here’s a line for you,” he said, trying to remember it word for word. “If I was the last man on earth, and she was the last woman on earth, and the future of the human race depended on our having sex to keep the population going, I still would not sleep with Kyla.”

Svea’s breath hitched in her throat. “But Elias—”

“How could you honestly think I’d want to have sex with her?”

“She’s into you. And she’s pretty, Elias, and tanned, and fit…and she’s—”

“No, Svea,” he interrupted her firmly. “I would have rather had you on my lap out there. You know that.”

“I can’t get you hard,” Svea mumbled.

Elias smiled amusingly at her words. “You don’t think so?”

She didn’t appreciate him mocking her. She rolled her eyes at him and his attempt to make light of this situation. “Elias—”

“Svea, you’ve been getting me hard since we were sixteen and we were each other’s first,” he finally confessed, albeit a bit crassly. It wasn’t the way he wanted it to be out in the open, but right now, there was no turning back.

The words hung in the air as they looked each other in the eye. Svea couldn’t believe what had just come out of his mouth. Elias was always honest with her, always, so to say that she was shocked he’d just admitted that out loud was an understatement. Elias was a quiet guy, always, and she was a quiet girl, always, and that was…new. “Are…are you s-serious, Elias?” she stuttered out.

“I would never lie to you, Svea,” he said. “Now can you come back outside and sit on my lap?”

When Elias and Svea walked outside, he brought her directly onto the dock, right to the end so they were looking out at the lake. She made eye contact with three people on the way there: Brock, who sent a wink her way when he noticed the two of them together; Grace, who sent her own wink and wiggled her eyebrows; and Kyla, who sent her a death stare when she noticed Elias was holding her hand to guide her through the relative darkness. When they finally reached the end of the dock, Svea saw one of Brock’s Adirondack chairs and a blanket. Elias adjusted it so it faced the lake. Svea looked back towards the backyard; everyone was dispersed in their own little groups, allowing them the alone time and privacy Elias apparently wanted.

“What are you looking at?” Elias asked quietly, trying to preserve the tranquility of the dusk.

“Nothing,” she brushed him off. She wasn’t going to tell him she was making sure Kyla wasn’t stomping down the dock to join them.

“Then come sit.”

When she looked back at him over her shoulder, he was already sitting on the Adirondack chair, unfolding the blanket. It was a scene Svea had encountered countless times before – in Sundsvall, specifically, on the balcony of his apartment when they’d go out at night and look out at the water and the lights of the city across the Bothnian Sea. She moved to sit on his lap, settling into him as he wrapped an arm around her and lay the blanket over them. He draped his other arm across her lap while the one around her back snuck underneath her shirt, rubbing the skin at the small of her back. When he nuzzled his face into the crook of her neck, his nose and lips grazing her skin, a shiver ran up her spine. She was sure he could tell.

She began to remember the things he’d said since they got to Minnesota: how he always worried about her, about how they were an extension of each other, how he bought his apartment in Sundsvall because he knew being by the water was her favourite. And now, with the comment said not even five minutes ago about her getting him hard since they were sixteen. She thought about the implications of it all, and what it meant for her – what it meant for them, really, because she agreed with what he said about being an extension of each other.

She was apparently lost in her thoughts – too lost for a few moments, because when she finally came to, she felt his lips graze the skin between her shoulder and neck. “What are you doing, Elias?” she asked, her voice as quiet as his was before.

He didn’t answer. Instead, they made eye contact and he looked at her for a few moments before leaning in and kissing her. Like everything Elias did, he was perfect at it. Soft lips, a passionate touch, and a tenderness nobody else could duplicate. Much like when they were sixteen, she didn’t want it to end. But when it did, with Elias pulling away first so he could look her in the eyes again, there was something else to be said. “I love you.”

They were words Svea had heart countless times before – countless – but this time, it felt different. Completely different. She froze slightly. “You love me, Elias?”

“Of course I love you.”

“No, Elias,” she bit her lip. “You, like…love me?”

“Yes, Svea,” he said, his hand traveling further up her back. “If you ever want to thank Kyla for one thing, it’s for making me realize how much I love you, and how long I’ve loved you for, because all her attention made me realize that I only want that kind of attention from you, that I only want you, and nobody else, and the thought of being with anyone else, or the thought of you being with anyone else makes me sick to my stomach.”

She felt a rush of blood to her cheeks as she blushed. How long had she been waiting for him to hear those words and she didn’t even know? How long had she wanted him to say those words to her, deep down inside somewhere within her? Had she known this entire time and just not realize it? Had she felt the same this entire time too and just didn’t verbalize it? She couldn’t help but think he was being a bit of a drama queen about it though. “You brought me all the way to Brock’s house in Minnesota to tell me this?”

Elias giggled like a schoolgirl. “I guess I did.”

“You’re an idiot.”

“I never said I was smart like you,” he said. “Remember when all the kids in class would call me space boy and alien boy because they said I looked like an alien?”

“You do look like an alien.”

Elias nudged her. She laughed before snuggling back into him. “If I’m the alien, you’re the stars, Svea.”

She smiled. This time, it was her that moved to kiss him, doing it by her own accord and with such conviction she surprised even herself. It was like she was sixteen all over again, except she wasn’t; she was still Elias’s best friend; still the most important person in his life; still getting him hard, apparently. Yet now, she was twenty-one – older, somewhat wiser; a university student, not some precocious high schooler; living in Vancouver, not in Ånge; having Elias telling her he loved her – loved her loved her – not just as friends. That he made clear. And although she was still coming to terms with it, and still couldn’t really wrap her head around it, at least her body was reacting to the news appropriately, much like her body had reacted appropriately all those years ago in Ånge, when she came up with the brilliant idea they’d acted on.

The only thing that could interrupt their kissing was Brock screaming at the top of his lungs. As Elias and Svea pulled apart, they watched as Brock ran down the dock in only his boxers, somersaulting into the lake like some sort of Olympic diver. They couldn’t help but laugh out loud as he came back up, whipping his hair to the side so it was out of his eyes.

“Brock!” Grace yelled, grimacing as she ran after him. “You’re going to smell like a wet dog!”

Tanner had passed out on the bathroom floor, and everybody decided to leave him there just in case. Marcus faceplanted into the couch, saying he couldn’t deal with stairs. Brock said the dive into the lake sobered him up, so Grace dragged him up the stairs into their bedroom. McKenna and Kyla were the first to shut their bedroom door, but not before Kyla gave one last look at Elias’s arms wrapped around Svea and wishing she was in that position.

When they descended down into the basement together, Svea could barely get a word in edgewise before Elias shut the door and his lips found hers again. No less passionate and no less soft, his hands attached themselves to her hips, almost immediately finding their way underneath her top while his tongue slipped into her mouth. His hands felt warm against her skin but they still sent shivers down her spine. She ran her fingers through his hair, pushing it back so it wouldn’t tickle her like it sometimes did.

He guided her towards the bed. When the backs of her legs hit the edge, Elias’s hands traveled higher. Svea’s breath hitched in her throat as his fingers traced the edges of her bralette. He noticed and stopped kissing her. “You’re not scared, are you?” he asked hesitantly.

“No no no,” she whispered as she shook her head. “Just…nervous.”

“Why would you be nervous?”

“I…don’t know,” Svea said. She did know why. She just didn’t want to say it out loud and risk embarrassing herself. “I…I haven’t been with anybody besides you, Elias,” she finally admitted.

He seemed sort of shocked for only a moment. “You never did anything first year university when you were here alone?” he asked.

“No. I couldn’t bring myself to. I didn’t…I didn’t want to if it wasn’t you.”

Elias nodded his head. He understood. “Me too.”

Her brows furrowed. “Me too what?”

“I haven’t been with anybody beside you,” he confessed.

Svea couldn’t hold back her shock like he could. “What? Not even in Vaxjo? You were the star of the team,” she reasoned. She found it hard to believe because there was no way – no way – that he didn’t get offers left, right, and centre while he was playing for them, especially during their championship run.

“I never…no,” he shook his head. “I didn’t want to if it wasn’t you, either,” he used her own words.

Svea took a deep breath. God, they were so stereotypical. They were such losers. A star hockey player and a first-year university student living away from home for the first time and they didn’t take advantage of their situations because they didn’t want to without each other. “We’re so lame, Elias,” she deadpanned.

Elias couldn’t help but laugh at her words. “I know, right? We’re pathetic.”

“So pathetic.”

Elias gave her a quick kiss as they giggled. “Svea?”

“Elias?”

“I love you.”

Svea smiled. “I love you too.”

“Can I make up for lost time? Can we make up for lost time?” he asked softly.

Svea took another deep breath. Her hands rose to rub his chest as she nodded her head, momentarily forgetting the small little detail that they were at Brock’s house. In the basement. Just as Elias dipped down to continue kissing her, she brought her hands up to his lips. “We’re at Brock’s house.”

Elias furrowed his brows. “So?”

“Won’t it be a bit awkward?”

He laughed again. “Svea, come on. More awkward than doing it in the bed I slept in as a kid?”

“Elias!” she exclaimed, the both of them giggling uncontrollably. “Well when you put it like that—”

Elias couldn’t wait any longer. He dipped his head down so he could start kissing her again, his tongue slipping in with ease. With his hands travelling higher and higher, he eventually helped tug her top off, letting it fall by their feet. He could feel the goosebumps along her skin. He could feel her tugging at his shirt, too, and helped with taking it off.

When they moved to lie down on the bed, Elias made sure to kiss at Svea’s neck and collarbone. The little sighs and gasps that escaped her was his fuel to keep going, travelling lower and lower until he reached her chest. “What do you like?” his voice husky.

That was a mute question. Not only could Svea not think right now with Elias’s lips so close to her boobs, and it wasn’t like she had the experience to know what she liked and didn’t like so she could tell him. “I—I don’t know. Anything.”

“Anything?”

“It’s you, Elias. Anything will feel good.”

He started to touch her more as his lips found her neck and clavicle again. He could feel her back arch and her hips pushing into his as his lips got close to her breasts again. When he pushed the material down and kissed a path down, he heard her sigh. “Is that okay?”

“Yes yes yes,” she said quickly and successively, the sensation clearly new to her.

He continued his handiwork expertly, his tongue grazing along her exposed skin. The mewls she let out almost drove him insane, and he could feel himself getting harder by the second. He had waited for so long that he wasn’t sure if he was going to last as long as he wanted to and do all the things he wanted to do to her, with her. He kissed a trail back up to her lips and his hands wandered down to her shorts, unbuttoning them as quickly as he could.

When he slipped off her shorts, she worked on his. “Do you have a condom, Elias?” she breathed out.

He did – he was prepared – but he froze momentarily. “Of course, but—”

“But what?” she asked worriedly.

“No no,” he said, trying to backtrack. “I’m not—it’s—I want to do so much,” he admitted.

Svea shook her head. “I can’t wait. Please just…just—”

“Svea—”

“Please Elias, I just want you inside me right now,” she practically begged. “We have all the time in the world to do so much. I just want to feel you inside me.”

Elias didn’t need to be told twice. He understood where she was coming from – he knew that, at least for him, he’d been waiting a long time to do this again, and although he wanted to savour the moment, he also didn’t want to waste any time. So he came back up and rolled over slightly, reaching down into his bag and grabbing a string of condoms. Svea couldn’t help but smile as she saw all the packages. He leaned back on his knees and ripped the first one off and ripped it open. Svea sat up to take it from his hands and help him roll it on. She even pumped him a few times when she was finished, kissing him fervently.

Maybe she had the right idea, to just go for it and not wait. Because if she kept doing that, Elias knew he wasn’t going to last long.

As she lay back down, Elias slipped off her underwear and loomed over her. On instinct, one of his hands went to her thighs and she wrapped her legs around him. His hand travelled from her thigh to her hot centre, and she flinched at his touch. He couldn’t help but smile down at her at how sensitive she was. “You okay, pretty girl?”

“I need you, Elias,” she huffed out.

When he entered her she cried out in pleasure. He kissed her passionately as he pushed further and further in, and when he bottomed out, he made sure to give her time to adjust to his size. Due to their confessions earlier, he knew it had been a while for her – a while for both of them – so he’d need to adjust too. He’d almost forgotten how good she felt; how perfectly she fit around him. It wasn’t like he dreamt about how she felt around him for four years now. “You alright?” he asked quickly.

“You feel so good, Elias,” she said, her eyes still closed.

“Does it hurt?” he asked quickly, wanting to make sure he wasn’t hurting her like he had the first time.

She shook her head and finally opened her eyes. “No. It feels good. It feels…it feels right.”

Elias gave her a quick kiss. He began moving in and out of her slowly, and she began to roll her hips in tune with his movements. “I love you, Svea,” he whispered against her lips.

“I love you too, Elias.”

“When we get back to Vancouver I’m going to make love to you on every inch of our apartment,” he said. “And then when we get back to my place in Sundsvall, there too.”

“You promise?” she asked, her smile cheeky, the possibility of making love to Elias over and over and over again giving her so much joy.

“We have to make up for lost time, don’t we?” his smile became equally as cheeky. “Besides, we need to live out the first-year university year and the Vaxjo year where we did fuck all because we’re so lame.”

The both of them giggled, and Svea remembered back to their first encounter at sixteen, where she thought it was better to laugh with your best friend in bed than to be nervous with somebody else. She hoped that they’d continue to giggle; that they’d continue to laugh together during their most intimate moments. She ran her nails up and down his back before digging them into his shoulder blades. “Make love to me, Elias,” she bit her lip.

Elias did just that, increasing his pace as he moved in and out of her, his small grunts and her small moans filling the room. After a while, when Svea felt herself getting close, she arched her back and brought Elias’s face down to kiss him. “Cum with me.”

“You’re close?”

She nodded her head. “I want you to cum with me, Elias.”

Elias couldn’t hold back. She felt so good and there was no way he’d be able to last any longer, so he let go completely. As she made him see stars, he felt her walls tighten around him. She cried out in pleasure as she came with him, holding on to him tightly so she could feel his body pressed against hers. She kept her limbs wrapped around him as he collapsed on top of her, trying to catch their breath. She played with the hair at the nape of his neck as they both calmed down.

“I love you so much,” he mumbled into her nape of her neck as his breathing finally began to steady. “You have no idea Svea.”

“I think I do,” she responded softly.

Elias pulled out and quickly ran to the washroom. Svea – too hung up on trying to savour the feeling, and too tired to care – stayed in bed and watched him through droopy eyes. When he came back, he slipped into bed and wrapped his arms around her, nuzzling his face into the crook of her neck. As they drifted off to sleep, Svea couldn’t help but think that she was the luckiest girl in the world. Elias, conversely, affirmed his own thoughts that he was the luckiest guy alive.

>< >< >< >< ><

Sunday

When Elias woke the next morning, he was using Svea’s chest as a pillow. He didn’t remember how they got in that position, and truthfully, he didn’t care to. All he cared about was the feeling of her skin beneath his touch, how her breathing was slow and steadied, and how one of her hands was conspicuously still at the nape of his neck, like she’d been playing with his hair all night. Intoxicated by it all, he couldn’t help but graze his lips over her skin lightly, wanting to wake her up as slowly and peacefully as he could.

His lips grazed and kissed along her collarbone, then moved up to her neck before dipping down again. He could feel her move slightly, her foot dragging along his leg as she sighed slightly, finally opening her eyes. “G’morning,” she mumbled, a small smile playing on her lips.

“Good morning, pretty girl,” he mumbled against her skin, craning his head up so he could kiss her on her lips.

They gave each other long, lazy kisses for a while, until Elias moved down to her neck again, cupping her breast underneath the covers. Svea moaned softly. “We’re going straight into this, aren’t we?”

Elias gave her a quick kiss. “Like I said last night, we have to make up for lost time,” he reasoned. He’d spend the entire summer making up for lost time if he had to (read: wanted to).

She smiled. Before she could say anything else, loud footsteps could be heard upstairs. Elias groaned, because it meant people were up. And if people were up, it meant they wouldn’t get the privacy he wanted to do what he wanted. Svea giggled at his groans, which only made him do it louder. “What the hell are they doing up so early?” he mumbled.

“I don’t think it’s early,” Svea said. “I think it’s us.” She looked over to her side to see the time on the alarm radio. “It’s definitely us.”

“What time is it?”

“Almost 9:30.”

Elias grumbled again. Svea laughed and slipped out from underneath him, not taking her eyes off of him as he nestled back into bed. “Elias?”

“Svea?”

“I love you.”

He smiled like a schoolboy – like he was a kid again and stole a cookie from the jar. “I love you too, Svea.”

“You guys awake yet?!” Grace’s voice boomed down on them from the top of the stairs. She was smart enough not to descend. “Breakfast is almost ready and Brock won’t save you bacon, Petey!”

They gave each other one last kiss before quickly washing their faces and going upstairs. Almost everybody was already seated around the table for breakfast, so they took their seats and filled their plates with the passed food. Elias’s hand grazed Svea’s thighs underneath the table. Svea tried not to let it show.

“What took you guys so long?” Hallie asked as she bit into a piece of toast.

“We were just talking,” Elias was purposely vague.

“What the fuck do you two even talk about?! Neither of you talk!” Tanner exclaimed. “You’re both so quiet!”

Elias smiled. At any other point in the weekend, he probably would have gotten mad at the comment. He probably would have gotten defensive or uptight or however he usually got when people told him he was so quiet and needed to talk more; he also would have been protective of Svea, who took those types of comments more personally, and called the other person a gaphals or something equally as Swedish in frustration because when he was frustrated he couldn’t find the English words for things as easily.

But this time, things were different. None of that mattered anymore. Anybody could say whatever they wanted, make whatever observations they wanted about the two of them as people, but all that mattered, whether the outside world cared or not, was that he and Svea loved each other. Simple as that. It was corny, and it was cliched, but Elias didn’t care.

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