#SuperhellTAg

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Post from Michael Gold: "Kevin McCarthy has been staring at his phone for much of the fifth vote. But just before his time to vote, he took a very large, dramatic sigh, then voted for himself for the fifth time."

Part of transcript: Rep. Marjorie Taylor Green (R-GA): "This is not about prom king. This is not about a pastor. This is about electing a person to sit in the speaker chair so that we can all get to work."

Post from Annie Karni: "I'm in the speaker's lobby peering into the chamber, and I can see a Republican member who is doing some shoe shopping on their phone."

Headline from CNN (credited to Sam Fossum): Biden says standoff on House floor is "embarrassing"

Part of New York Times article (credited to Haiyun Jiang): "Representative Kat Cammack, Republican of Florida, nominated by McCarthy but was repeatedly disrupted by Democrats who took offense to her speech, which accused them of lacking sportsmanship and bringing alcohol and popcorn to the vote series." Picture of Kat Cammack speaking from behind a lecture as the people behind her are in various states of boredom.

Post from Michael Gold: "At one point, Kat Cammack rhetorically asked Republicans, "Are we the party of Reagan?" A chorus of Democrats called back, "No.""

Text (unknown source): As Pelosi watches with disdain, McCarthy moves from nemesis to something sadder.

Post from Michael Gold: "We're going directly into an eighth vote - there's a Hanukkah joke that I won't bother to make because it will be edited out - and it's Brian Mast of Florida's turn to nominate McCarthy."

Part of unknown article: Photograph of several representatives, with one yawning, captioned "Collective boredom has set in in the House chamber."

Post from Michael Gold: "Dan Bishop said the House had an opportunity to elect the first Black speaker yesterday, referring to Byron Donalds. A chorus of Democrats rose and started to chant "Hakeem," since he just as easily could have been talking about Jeffries, whom Democrats have been consistently united behind for two days. "

Post from Michael Gold: "Matt Gaetz again casts his vote for Trump."

Part of transcript, timestamped at 13:50: Ninth vote confirmed. No surprise there then - McCarthy loses for a ninth time. Here we go again...

Text: Former Speaker Nancy Pelosi spent part of her first days as a humble rank-and-file member conspicuously reading a New Yorker article on the House floor, titled "What Kevin McCarthy Will Do to Gain Power," as she watched her would-be successor struggle through nine unsuccessful floor votes in an attempt to claim her old job.

Post from Michael Gold: "Lauren Boebert, who has been consistently voting for people who are not McCarthy, cast her vote for Kevin Hern of Oklahoma. She teased that she was voting for a "Kevin," then read off a long list of Hern's achievements, before telling us her vote." Picture of Lauren Boebert speaking, with people around here in various states of disgruntlement at having been stuck here for so long.

Text: I've counted at least five iPads, and three novels in the hands of politicians - tools to help pass the time. Democrat Larry Nadler appears to be so engrossed with a large paperback volume he has not bothered to look up through dozens of ballots and several loud rounds of applause.

Post from Maggie Astor: "It's official: With a 10th vote guaranteed, this is no longer the most protracted speaker election since 1923. It is the most protracted speaker election since 1859". A blurry picture of the House, with all of the members blurry but visibly feeling the effects of the process. The photo is credited to Haiyun Jiang/New York Times.

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Kevin McCarthy losing four five six consecutive Speaker of the House votes (so far) is legitimately one of the funniest things to ever happen. This is 2023's boat stuck in the Suez Canal. Something important has ceased working for the most hilarious possible reason and we are all watching desperate attempts to get it working again while secretly hoping it does not, and I think that's beautiful

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Its happening, gang!

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September 8, 2022, Approximately 12:30 pm EST queen fucking dead

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I feel like we need to nominate Supernatural’s way of making destiel canon for an award on TV Tropes.... Let’s make this shit a new trope...... Incinerating Your Gays, for when you don’t just bury them, you send one of them straight to a super-extra-mega hell right after he confesses.

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Ice Pick Joe exists. I'm pretty sure he's supposed to be some minor mafioso dude, possibly under Ambrosini.

Goncharov Lore Thus Far, based on the top tumblr post results

Main cast are Goncharov himself, his wife Katya (née Michailov), and Andrey 

One side character is named Mario Ambrosini. He is described as a “sad boi” and is involved in gambling. 

Set in Naples and involving a drug ring/mafia. The plot seems to involve Russian organized crime attempting to get a foothold in Italy. 

There is a Boat Scene. Katya survives via resourcefulness. 

Andrey and Goncharov have a substantial amount of homoeroticism. Andrey also has an internet in Katya. This forms a true love triangle. 

At some point, Katya threatens to shoot Goncharov. This is framed as a Girlboss Moment. 

There is also a Beer Bottle Scene. 

Katya fakes her death. 

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Transcript (Broken up into more paragraphs for accessibility):

[NOTE: Do Not Run Until Fucking Queen Is Dead Or People Will Lose Their Shit] Queen Elizabeth Dead At 96

[ED. — DO NOT PUBLISH UNTIL AWFUL LADY IN THE GROUND]

LONDON—After 70[?] years as the ruling monarch of the United Kingdom and [CHECK HOW MANY COUNTRIES SHE’S IN CHARGE OF OR ELSE TWITTER PEDANTS WILL GET MAD] Queen Elizabeth died [PEACEFULLY OR PAINFULLY—COPY WHATEVER BBC OBIT SAYS] in [TK LOCATION] at the age of 89. A child [ONLY? CHECK IF BROTHERS AND SISTERS] of King George VI and [LOOK UP MOTHER’S NAME], she ascended to the throne in 19[TK DO NOT GET THIS WRONG OR PEOPLE WILL BE MAD] following the death of her father, and during her reign presided over such events as the Troubles in Ireland, decolonization in Africa [NOTE: CAN IT BE THAT RECENT? DOUBLE-CHECK], and Brexit.

She married Philip Mountbatten in 1947, beginning a [TK ADJECTIVE] royal union that lasted [TK] years until [NOTE: DID HE DIE? CHECK. IF HE DID, WE FORGOT TO RUN AN OBIT], in which they had four children: Prince Charles, the heir apparent, as well as Princess [TK], Prince [TK], and Prince Andrew [NOTE: CHECK ANDREW’S LATEST ROYAL STATUS RE: PEDOPHILIA ALLEGATIONS]. In addition to her children, the queen is survived by [INSERT SOME BULLSHIT HERE ABOUT HER DO-NOTHING PROGENY].

As Britain’s first lady queen [PROBABLY LOOK THIS UP], she had a memorable reign, with other significant events of her life including [LIST WHATEVER WE HAVE TIME FOR, PUBLICATION URGENT BUT ONLY UPON SURE THING SHE FINALLY FUCKING DEAD]. In the nation’s capital, Parliament [CONGRESS?] held a period of mourning, while U.K. Prime Minister [INSERT WHICHEVER DUMBFUCK PRIME MINISTER NOW] reflected on her long life, saying [COPY QUOTES FROM BBC]

Holy shit the onion is going all in

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An edit of the politician 'who wants to' meme.

In the first panel, he's asking "who wants to morb" and the crowd is raising their hands.

In the second, he's asking "who wants to watch morbius (2022)" and the crowd has put their hands down ask is looking to the ground.

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A screenshot of the trampstampzzz blog answering an ask from @thefollow-spot​. The question is: “What do y’all think about Superwholock”

Their response is in bright blue: “IDK. NEVER LSITENED TO EM” and two blue hearts. It is tagged with all of the following: tramp stamps, punk feminism, riot grrl, alt, grrrlboss, superwholock, punk music

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Sorry but this is the funniest thing to happen on this website. I’ve been thinking about this for hours. Literally I am sobbing,,, this HAS to be satire. I hate them. I hate this. I hate it here. Omg

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OP I HAVE GREAT NEWS FOR YOU

The moment the queen actually kicks the bucket this site will become absolutely unusable as it crashes in much the same way it did when Destiel was almost confirmed canon

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It's made up. Based on what I've seen, there's a misprinted shoe that someone posted about years ago and someone (back then) replied "this idiot hasn't seen gorchanov" and somehow that got dug up and people have been making up the movie starting with fake characters, then a fake plot, and now it's moved to the point where I'm pretty sure they're writing an actual script in the mass google doc. Most folks have been tagging related posts as either gorchanov or unreality on their blogs so it can be filtered out.

Why are people talking about a movie I have never heard of in my life