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ugly-crying-over-bucky-barnes · 7 years ago

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Be My Baby Part 7

Summary: Charlotte goes by Charlie in the summer of 1963. Sebastian works at the resort her family is staying at. He teaches her how to dance.

Chapter Summary: Sebastian teaches Charlie a few ballroom dance moves.

Warnings: Swearing, smoking, I think that’s it

Chapter 7: Get Ready

(I’m in Greece atm and I may or may not have had too many glasses of alcohol the night before. So if there’s anything fucked with this chapter, let me know. I started it sober and ended drunk. woop)

I never met a girl who makes me feel the way that you do.

The next morning, I had to pinch myself to remember that the kiss with Sebastian was real. I glanced over and realized my sister was already out for the day. I jumped up quickly and got dressed. I actually took a moment to fix my unruly curls and grabbed my sister’s mascara to apply a few swipes.

I swung the cabin door open with a new sense of confidence. So much so, that I didn’t realize someone was standing by the cabin.

“In a rush to see someone?”

I nearly fell down the stairs when I heard Sebastian taunt me. I glared and carefully made my way down without falling. “You can’t scare me like that.”

He chuckled and glanced around. When he deemed the coast to be clear, he wrapped an arm around my waist so he could kiss me.

Instantly, I could taste nicotine on his lips. It was sour but oddly intoxicating. I wondered if it was because he was the one kissing me. “I thought I told you, smoking’s bad for you,” I said when we pulled away.

He winced. “Habits are hard to break.” He tugged me to his side as we started to walk up the path.

“I mean do you even know what’s in them?”

“Nope, I’d rather not know.”

I frowned. “Ignorance is not bliss.”

He smiled and shook his head. “Depends on the situation.”

The rest of the day, I spent some time with my family but kept my eye on the clock. I wanted to make sure I was around for Sebastian’s breaks. Every so often he’d walk by and send a wink my way. I blush and try to keep listening to my sister.

“Chris said we could do something together on his day off,” Laurie said as she whacked the birdie back over to my side of the badminton net.

I groaned as I tried to reach it in time. I nearly fell on my face trying to extend my racquet out. But the birdie fell flat and I had to pick it up and serve again. “What are you going to do?” I asked. I didn’t mind talking to Laurie about Chris. Now that I could see her point of view of being head over heels, her delusions sort of made sense. I only wished I could talk to her about my relationship and get some advice.

“Maybe he’ll kiss me.” Laurie squealed as she hit the birdie back over. “Do you think he’ll kiss me?”

I almost stumbled over my feet trying to return the lob. I cursed under my breath when I came up short again. “I don’t know, Laurs, maybe.” I shrugged and served. “He seems to really like you.”

She smiled. “You know, Charlie, you’re in a much better mood today.”

“I guess I’m just starting to like it here.” I let a smile play on my lips as I thought of Sebastian.

“Hi, dad, hi, mom.” Laurie waved to my parents as they walked by with their golf bags.

“Look at you two getting along.” My father remarked. "I think this vacation was one of the best ideas for this family." He said proudly. "My two girls are actually being friendly.

“Dad, do you have the time?” I asked.

“Sure, Charlie-Bear.” He pushed his sleeve up to glance at his watch. “It’s almost noon.”

“Okay, thanks. Laurie, I’ve gotta go, I’ll be back.” I promised and dropped my racquet.

“What?” Laurie pouted. “But I was winning!”

“We’ll pick up where we left off,” I said and started to make my way back to the hotel.

I walked behind the main building and Sebastian fell into step with me. “You’re not very good at badminton either.”

I rolled my eyes and nudged him. “I’m good at dancing.” I reminded him, which he chuckled and nodded. “Do you have your lunch break now?” I asked.

“Yep, half an hour.” He wrapped an arm around me. “C’mon,” He led me up a set of stairs to a smaller building.

“What’s in here?” I asked as he peeked in the window.

“Dance studio. Scarlett gives private lessons here.” He answered. “It’s empty now.” He checked the door and it was unlocked. “Alright, I want to teach you some ballroom dancing.”

“Really?” I looked surprised.

“Sure, it might be fun.” He turned the lights on and found a stereo in the corner.

“Where did you learn to dance?”

“Scarlett will teach me a step every so often just for the fun of it.”

“Okay then, what’s my first lesson?” I shifted my weight back and forth between my feet.

Sebastian turned on some music that sounded a lot like the type he played at dinners. He walked over to me. “Stand up straight.” He put his hands on my shoulders. “Stand with confidence.” Then he tilted my chin up. “Eyes always on me.”

“How will I know where I’m stepping?” I was a little skeptical.

“Trust that I’ll lead you.” He smiled. “Okay, so when I step back, you step forward. But don’t go until two.”

“What?” I was beyond confused.

“Just try, ready? One…”

Purely on instinct, and still confused, I lurched forward and stepped on Sebastian’s foot.

“Two…” He winched. “Never step on one.”

“Sorry. Are you okay?” I asked, feeling terrible.

“I’m fine.” He shook it off. “Let’s go again.”

It took a few times but we found our rhythm, even if it was a little choppier than usual.

“Eyes up.”

“Arms firm.”

“Keep your shoulders back.”

I kept tripping up as I tried to listen to every little thin Sebastian told me. After two songs, I stopped and huffed out of frustration. “You’re too tough.” I protested.

He shook his head. “You should see Scarlett. She’s strict. She was a ballerina in Russia when she was sixteen.”

“Oh, wow…what happened?”

“She escaped just like me. Communism was getting worse but there didn’t seem to be an end to it. Now she teaches dance here.” He shrugged. "People are afraid to hire immigrants from the USSR. They're worried they're spies for communism." He rolled his eyes. "The level of fear in this world is unbelievable sometimes."

“Well, I’m glad you came here,” I said quietly. “I wish you didn’t have to go through that but I’m glad I met you.”

Sebastian smiled at me. “Alright, enough with this boring stuff. Let’s let loose.” He went back to the stereo and switched tapes.

“Will you teach me more fancy moves?” I asked.

“What do you want to learn?” He wrapped his arms around my waist as the music changed again.

“What do you call it when the woman jumps and the guy catches her?” I rested my hands on the nape of his neck and swayed with him to the new song.

“A lift?”

“Sure.”

“Oh, I dunno. I’ve never done that. I think Scarlett has though. Maybe you can ask her.”

“But I want to do it with you.”

“You’re hard to say no to.” He chuckled and spun me around. But he didn’t bring me full circle. He stopped me with his hands on my hips so I was facing away from him. I could see us in the mirror and for a moment I couldn’t believe it was me.

Sebastian ran a hand up my arm and lifted it so I reached back. My fingers found his hair and I lightly brushed up against his temple. He grazed his fingertips back down my arm and I squirmed a little. I giggled as his touch tickled me. He laughed softly and I could see him smiling in the mirror. He tilted his head and exhaled softly over my neck.

Goosebumps covered my arms as we started to sway again. He focused a little more on my neck, though, as he kissed and lightly nibbled at my pulse point. I bit back a small moan and leaned against his chest, feeling his hips against mine.

We were only lost for a moment before we heard someone open the door to the studio. Sebastian and I quickly put a reasonable distance between us.

In walked a young man in business casual clothing. “Sebastian, what are you doing in here?” He gave him a stern look.

For a moment, Sebastian seemed to freeze up. So I quickly jumped in. I had been getting better at lying it seemed. “He was helping me look for my hair barrette.”

“Oh…” The man seemed to buy it purely on the fact that I was a guest. “My apologies. Did you find it yet?”

“No, I must’ve lost it somewhere else. Thank you,” I turned to Sebastian, “for helping me though.”

He cleared his throat. “Of course, miss.”

“Sebastian, where’s Scarlett?” The man asked as we began to leave the studio. “She has a lesson here and she knows she must always arrive five minutes beforehand.” He checked the expensive watch on his wrist.

“I don’t know, Michael.”

“Why don’t you go track her down then?” He replied impatiently.

Sebastian sighed and nodded down the path. “She’s right there.”

Michael turned. “Ah, Scarlett, so nice of you to join us.”

Scarlett’s face went sour when she saw the dark-haired man. “Alright, Michael, don’t get your panties in a bunch.” She hoisted a duffle bag further up her shoulder and walked past him.

“Watch your tone.”

She rolled her eyes and stomped up the stairs past Sebastian and me. “I was two minutes late.”

“You should always be on time.”

“You know what, Michael,” She spun around to glare at him. “You’re not my boss. You don’t own this place yet.” She snapped.

Michael squared off against her. “And when I do, I know the first person who’s going to be fired.”

She narrowed her eyes. “I’m sure your dad would love to hear that you fired the resort’s best dance instructor.”

“It won’t matter what he thinks.”

“I have class, Mikey, run along.” She hissed. “No one’s afraid of you.”

Michael’s jaw tightened but it seemed like he didn’t want to make more of a scene in front of a guest. “Charlie, would you like me to escort you back to the hotel?” His voice was still tense.

“Oh, uh…no thank you. I was going to ask Scarlett for a lesson.” I said, a little shaken by the encounter.

“Very well. She will for as long as she still works here.” He replied sharply and turned to leave.

“Asshole,” Scarlett muttered and walked into the studio with us following her.

“Who was that?”

“Michael, Robert’s eldest son,” Sebastian answered and leaned against the doorframe.

“He must be back from another booze-filled romp around Europe,” Scarlett grumbled as she walked around the studio, preparing for her class. “No wonder it was so calm here. Now we get to listen to why women deserve to be barefoot and pregnant and why segregation is a good thing.” She spat. “He’s disgusting.”

“At least Robert treats us like humans, Michael only respects rich white men like him,” Sebastian grumbled.

I wrinkled my nose in distaste. “And he’ll own the resort?”

“One day…I guess.”

“Not if I have anything to do with it. He’s only picking on me because he tried hooking up with me and I told him no.” She made a face. “Even I liked men I still wouldn’t touch him.” She sighed and looked around with her hands on her hips. That’s when she noticed the stereo was still playing music, something Michael hadn’t realized.

“What were you two doing in here?”

Sebastian and I both blurted out different answers.

“Looking for her barrette.”

“Dancing.”

We looked at each other in disbelief.

“I thought you said we could trust her!”

“She has a big mouth!”

Scarlett just laughed and brushed us off. “Don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone. Just as long as you two weren’t fucking in my studio.”

“Scarlett!”

“Oh, my God…no we weren’t!”

She cracked up even more at our reactions. “I’m just kidding, geez, you two are so cute.”

Sebastian rolled his eyes. “Charlotte wants to learn how to do a lift.” He changed the subject quickly. “Would you teach us?”

“Really?” She looked impressed. “Ambitious, but okay. I’ll teach you, sure.”

“Awesome.” I brightened up. “So do we just have to book studio time or…”

“Oh no, we’ll have to start next Saturday when we all go to the lake.”

“The lake? Why?”

Masterpost

#Sebastian stan #sebastian stan fanfiction #sebastian stan fic #sebastian stan rpf #rpf #actor rpf #marvel actor rpf #marvel actor #marvel rpf #dirty dancing #au #alternate universe #1960s #1960s music #1960s au #dirty dancing au #Scarlett Johansson

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smokeybrand · 4 years ago

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Traditions Are Made to be Broken

It's always funny to me when one of these assholes with an internet soapbox, creates a whole ass video about a movie studio putting diversity in front of production. I get it. People should be hired for their talent. Best person for the job. However, when that job is disproportionately hiring people who looks a certain way and the others who don't aren't getting even an opportunity, then maybe revisit that hiring process. Generally speaking, minority film creators make better films that white people and that's just because we have to make dope sh*t just to get the job. You don't find many Black Michael Bays or Asian Zack Snyders because we will literally never work again if all we did was crap out sh*t like them. With Amazon putting out a missive for how they expect films to be made in their studio system, one that focuses on equity and diversity, they've taken the first step to re-imagine that whole industry and assholes are salty about it.

I've heard cats talk about how equity is wrong and then they go an describe what it is, in the most disingenuous way possible. Sure, that one guy gets less than the rest but he already has more. All that hard work but in has paid off. It hasn't for the rest. This job is that payday. It'll help set them up to get to a point where they won't need the extra boost and, like the hard worker from before, they'll eventually cede their bonus to another up-and-comer. This particular asshole, Midnight's Edge, immediately goes gull negative claiming the person who needs the most help, is just lazy. Sir, if that was the case and you, as head of production still hired him, you've f*cked up. You didn't do the work necessary to vet your vendor and deserve to be taken advantage of. and that's the gist of my counterargument; All of these people are still being interviewed and scrutinized. Who the f*ck cares if they're Black, Gay, Indian, Trans, or whatever else? You're actively looking for the best in that respective category, right?

These people always try to hide their bigotry behind dog whistles like "tradition" or "Best man for the job" when it's literally just there prejudice and racism showing. If the traditional system is rigged for one, specific, type of person to succeed and no one else, that's a bad system. That tradition is terrible and deserves to be destroyed. Almost all traditions are like this because they were started in a world that is unrecognizable today. F*ck all traditions. Hiring the best man doesn't mean hire the best White man but, at the same time, no one is telling you not to do that either. If i have to chose between a Black dude who is less skilled than White dude for the same job, I'm choosing the White dude. He makes my production better. However, is all things are equal, i;m choosing the Black dude because this might be the only job he can get while that White dude can probably go next door and get a different gig. The guy next door might want to build his production in a more "traditional" way and that White dude might best the "best man fr the job" over yonder.

It's just wild to me that so many people object to inclusion in their world. Like, how are you mad a major film studio is making an effort to represent the worldwide audience they cater to? This isn't some woke grab of cleared conscious. It's f*cking Amazon. They make their factory workers piss in bottles at their desks. No, this is a calculated understanding that the world is getting more colorful and to make money in it, they need to add more color to their productions. It's not some super woke statement om the socioeconomic realities of the world. It's a cash grab, one that will have ripple effects across the entire industry and i think that's why these neckbeards are so mad. It's another nail in the coffin of their privilege. It's an attack on the traditional way sh*t has always been, the White way sh*t has always been. It's unfortunate that sh*t like this Midnight's Edge video gets made because it's just embarrassing. If you have any semblance of sense, you can hear this dude straining to make this into an issue. If you don't, then this sounds like something you ear yourself saying all the time and if that's that case, you're as much a problem as this dude's video.

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segenassefa · 4 years ago

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10: Musical Discourse: Slime Language 2

Young Thug’s new project, Slime Language 2, is almost reminiscent of Pi’erre Bourne’s TLOP4, except more features (Thug got all these niggas in the studio and told them “We’re doing this now or never”), including ex-girlfriend and entrepreneur Karlae, Jim Jones, Drake, Travis Scott, and Coi Leray. There is a heavy YSL l influence (obviously) as well as some OVO features (hey Drake, hey Nav!), Coi Leray (no comment), and even a Rowdy Rebel feature, fresh from the pen. This project does a good job at touching different extremes of the rap music spectrum – Thug manages to get some songs for the ladies (“I Like”, which, to me, is very reminiscent of the City Girls, “On the Low”, and “Trance”), typical athlete walk-out music, and some songs that follow that “no one ever believed in me/everyone leaves me” kinda vibe.

If we’re gonna keep it 100, the album in itself is not necessarily a stand-out – very few songs have that “wow” factor - and to be honest - it’s mid, as the kids would call it. BUT, in the spirit of neutrality, I’ll be breaking down my favourites, as a self-proclaimed know most and trap music enthusiast, especially since today marks the one-month anniversary of its release - and if you disagree, suck ya mum (JK….kinda.)

“Take It to Trial” – Young Thug, YSL, Gunna, Yak Gotti

This track is probably one of the best on the album, and not just because the Yak Gotti feature ties it all together, but for the overall cohesiveness of everyone on the track, which almost makes it sound like one person entirely throughout. Take It to Trial was one of the tracks on the album that was released before the drop of SL2, giving it some time to marinate before the drop of the project in its entirety. While the beat is nothing too crazy, it’s still a standout due to the lyricism of the track and the abnormally high pitch Thug manages to hit on the chorus, as he adamantly requests to take this shit to mf’in trial.

I don’t know if the herpes bar making me think of NBA YoungBoy makes me a bad person, but I guess only time will tell.

“I Like” – YSL, Karlae, Coi Leray

Now, listen. I am not going to lie and say that I support all women. Somewhere in my heart, I know Coi Leray got to where she is due to a combination of light skin privilege (insert noises of disgust), some form of nepotism, her marketability, and her longstanding time in the industry (she was, in fact, one of the Mindless Behaviour video girls, so that in itself should tell you how long she’s secretly been in the game. She’s almost like a slightly darker Alexa Demie, except she isn’t lying about her age).

But this song???

THIS MF SONG?

There has to be crack in it. Because it’s not that good - the beat is not one which you run back for its complexity, nor its lyricism, but DAMN, it’s a good ass song.

Both she and Karlae captured the effortless sexy feeling certain songs are supposed to give you (fellas, not sure if you’ve ever felt it, but I feel like the laydeez know what I mean). It’s giving very much Uber Black on the freeway in an amazing outfit, drunk out of your mind - and I’m here for it! While I do feel like Karlae can rap circles around Coi, if given the opportunity, I think one thing I can say is that Coi does have the unabashed confidence of a man in her same position and that in itself makes this song *that* much more powerful.

“Mil in Vegas” – YSL, Young Thug, NAV

When I’m old and in my nursing home of choice (Astagfurallah, but you never know), I hope Young Thug drops a purely R&B album; something like Hndrxx but a lil’ less suicidal.

Or that the nursing home has enough money to hire him for a mid-afternoon senior citizen concert, but let’s tackle one problem at a time.

This track is almost like the niggas’ version of “I Like” but instead of boo boo Mizz Leray, we get a melodic NAV feature. In addition to my appreciation of him realizing he needs to stop using the fucking n-word (he shouldn’t have been using it in the first place, but progress is better than perfection), I think there’s something to be said with rap songs that are done outside of the major key; it def adds a little pinash, and some depth that wouldn’t have been there before – and NAV’s voice is suited perfectly for these otherwise challenging scales.

The only other thing going for this song is the way Thug looks in that yellow turtleneck on the Spotify visualizer – and with that being said, I hope niggas will be rocking more bright colors in the seasons to come.

(Also, what the fuck is NAV’s obsession with Los Angeles? I swear there’s at least one bar in every song).

“Slatty” – YSL, Young Thug, Gunna, Lil Duke, Yak Gotti

Mark my motherfucking words - when we have in-person sporting events, I will bet my Large Telfar bag that at least one draftee has this song as their walk-out music.

This track incorporates the one word that every nigga in YSL records (and current rap culture) has heat-stamped in their vocabulary, and while the word “slat” has been massacred by hordes of white teenage boys on TikTok, I will say that this chorus is catchy as fuck.

The real star of this song (shockingly) is the juxtaposition of Yak Gotti’s gritty, emory-board vocal cords, the raspy voice of Lil Duke, and the familiar buttery sound of Thug’s vocals.

Why the visualizer has P. Diddy in it, God only knows. But our adeer is doing his thing in those big ass Versace shades, so who am I to say anything.

“Diamonds Dancing” – YSL, Young Thug, Travis Scott, Gunna

I have no commentary other than asking rappers to please stop using Dr. King for any of their metaphors – he cheated on Correta with a white woman (and only one that we KNOW of, for that matter).

So, I stand here humbly before you, petitioning for the alternative bars including:

“Dripped in Dolce & Gabanna / Black diamonds like Thomas Sankara”

“New girl like Lori Harvey / chain Black like Africa, Marcus Garvey”

or something along those lines. Even a Sojourner Truth bar, at this fucking point.

“Solid” – YSL, Young Thug, Gunna, Drake

Of course, OF FUCKING COURSE, this track was saved by none other than the culture vulture himself - the man, the myth, and apparently now, the fucking candlemaker, Mr. Aubrey Drake Graham.

(Sidenote: Why is graham such a hard word to spell?).

I know y’all niggas heard - and felt - him very clearly when he said he needed some head and some moral support right away (not like y’all are gonna get any, but understandable if you felt it).

Something about the subtle use of steel pan, and mafioso type beat that the OVO clan has such an affinity for, really brings this hoe all the way together.

Another interesting point to note – and why I think Thug and Gunna make such an incomparable duo - is the fact that Thug and Gunna could almost pass for one another on the second verse, and even in the chorus. The only distinctive giveaway in this is the fact that Gunna does not make use of the whimsical bars in the same way that Thug does (because who the fuck is putting macaroni and cheese in their pockets besides the man who made a whole Instagram live about having a dirty dick? Exactly.)

Surprisingly though, this is one of the only songs on the album that hasn’t drilled holes in my eardrums, even after listening to it for an entire month, so bravo on them for that.

“Proud of You” – YSL, Young Thug, Lil Uzi Vert, Yung Kayo

I’m going to use this song to expose my corniness in saying I’ve definitely thought of using this song for some Instagram captions.

I think the combined genius of Thug and Uzi is often overlooked due to everyone wanting to worship Uzi with the androgynous Vampire Ma- I mean, Carti (who also makes a great duo with Uzi in his own right, but Uzi and Thug just remind me of two eccentric uncles, minus a few decades).

It was also rumored in 2018 that these niggas had over fifteen hundred songs together and I honestly wouldn’t it put it past them for that to be true.

Will they all be hits? Probably not, but it’s nice to be a dreamer – plus, their previous tracks (What’s the Move, It’s A Slime and Strawberry Peels) can’t be disregarded either.

“Really Be Slime” – YSL, Young Thug, FN DaDealer, YNW Melly, Bslime

In my honest opinion, I think YNW Melly (and TayK!) should have been pardoned from jail way before Reptar (Kodak) or the other gremlin, Mr. Weezy F Baby – not doubting this artistry, but I do think this man requires a serious rest; musically, emotionally, and physically).

This nigga Melly bodies every feature and brings such mischievous energy to every single track. Also, the minute the rhymed “butter pecan” and “Puerto Rican”, he was fr a genius in my high school eyes.

You can’t deny that the other niggas on the track, even Young Thug himself, fall a little short and that FN DaDealer is trying a bit hard to give us Lil Baby teas, but for what it is, it’s not a bad song. The beat, again, nothing too impressive, but I’m honestly just so glad to hear a YNW Melly feature after what feels like forever.

And that about wraps it up – overall, I’d give this project a solid 5/10. It could have done a bit more; and for the number of features (as well as their duality), honestly could have been more experimental. I get that this was highly anticipated, but in that case, I’m sure niggas wouldn’t have minded waiting a bit longer for it to go the extra mile.

If you feel like I missed any important tracks, that’s too damn bad; but feel free to argue with me in the comments of Instagram.

Until then…*turns on “I Like”*.

#cashmoneysegs #slime #language #2 #young #thug #rap #hiphop #blog post 10 #cm$

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taiwanpuppetryproudthunderbolt · 5 years ago

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interview 15

Richard Chamberlain - How he keeps the Faith in his Private Life

"Fame isn't the answer. The answer is allowing yourself to be who you are."

"I'm not interested in being a multimillionaire; I want to do the kind of work that interests me. When I was beginning, I wanted to do everything: films, TV, modern things, period things, classics, musical theatre, I wanted to make records and I also wanted to paint. I'm a medium with occasional goods. I took dance lessons, and I have discovered that you can't do everything, but I've done a lot of it."

In a company town, Hollywood, where a favorite indoor sport is to trash everyone, its almost impossible to find anyone with a sour word to mutter about Richard Chamberlain.

The erstwhile Dr. Kildare, perhaps unintentionally, has made a secondary career of winning friends. He is Mr. Nice Guy wherever you turn.

He is therefore going against casting in his current role of Father Ralph in the ABC-TV mini-series, The Thorn Birds. For those unfamiliar with the best-selling Colleen McCullough's supernovel, Fr. Ralph does just about everything a priest isn't supposed to from having money of his own - courtesy of the character played by Barbara Stanwyck - to not being obedient or chaste.

In fact, there are those who might consider him a bit of a rotter. Not so Richard. We're sitting in his offices at The Burbank Studios just a few months after he has finished production on this massive film. He is about to don another hat: that of executive producer on a TV movie for CBS, hence the office setting complete with a round black glass conference table and comfortable chairs. Only successful executive producers rate such perks. But enough business talk. We are here to discuss The Thorn Birds, how he feels about yet another blockbuster following his so-successful Shogun and his real life.

First of all, Richard doesn't believe that Father Ralph behaved in such a reprehensive manner. "He followed his destiny," he states. "That process brought him to a kind of humility he never would have found otherwise. He needed to do that. He needed to fall from grace. I'm not saying all priests do; Ralph was too in love with the image of a perfect priest, with the glamour," he explains.

Those sentences give one a clear indication of what makes Richard Chamberlain tick. He's a perfectionist, although certainly not a bore - far from it - but he does get inside the character he plays. That's what makes him such an outstanding actor.

For this part, he researched Catholicism with Father Terry Sweeney, a Jesuit priest. He visited a Jesuit novitiate and stayed over with the young novices. "I had never before been involved with organized religion, and I got the feeling of what it's like to be part of a group of people who put the love of God and humanity before personal happiness. It is unusual and rare. The novitiates I met are in the process of doing that," he learned.

The painstaking research aside, working in TheThorn Birds was a grueling six-month assignment. A large portion of the nine hours was filmed in the Simi Valley, north of Los Angeles, where an exact copy of the Australian Drogheda landscape has been built. And it was hot. Richard's priestly garb, donned in layers, must have been well nigh unbearable.

With a boyish grin, he acknowledges that it wasn't an actor's dream come true, commenting that the plastic collar cut into his neck a lot. Just another of the ordeals that an actor goes through for the sake of a great role.

And a great plum it is. "I wanted it when I first read the book four years ago. I salivated over the part; it was such a wonderful love story. I chased after the part for years. I told my agents I wanted to do it; at that time, it was to be a feature movie and it went through the hands of numerous producers. They had Robert Redford at the top of all their lists. So I waited it out, like I did with Shogun. When they realized it couldn't be a film and Warner Bros. decided on a mini-series, then I knew I was in a good position. The producers - David Wolper and Stan Margulies - wanted me - and it became a dream come true," he says comfortably.

The dream realized, Richard was in the same position as all other actors when a role is complete: he was out of a job. "I have the actor's habit of thinking once a job is over I'll never be hired again. I can get very anxious about not working. It doesn't go into anxiety attacks, but there is a sense of fickleness about the business. If I allow myself, I can worry a lot."

He didn't allow himself to this time. Instead he took off for two and a half weeks to his little house in Hawaii. He has what he describes as, "a place on the beach in the toolies where there is nothing to do except eat." Or so he says. It doesn't show on his trim waistline two weeks after he has returned.

"I had forgotten what it was like to spend a day doing nothing. I kept saying I must be doing something wrong, this can't be right. I had a vague guilty feeling. So I just lay there on the beach and I didn't do anything," he laughs. "I find it an incredibly healing experience to go there. It's a wonderful change from the madness around here," he motions to indicate Hollywood. "I'd like to go there more often. As it is, I get there twice a year if I'm lucky."

The house has a live-in caretaker who looks after the property while its famous owner is gone. It is also rented out, through an agent, so the tenants never know that they're sleeping in Richard Chamberlain's bed. Pity.

It would appear that Richard is indeed the golden boy we all envy, whose life has been comparatively uncluttered with the "stuff" that make most of us miserable. And looking at him, handsome, trim, relaxed, just a few flecks of gray in the beard and mustache he has grown for his next part, he reflects total peace and tranquility. He's sipping a cup of herb tea from a delicate Japanese cup, NOT imported from Japan as were many of his household furnishings. Shogun did leave an impression on him.

He admits of being happier with his life as it is today than in previous years.

"As I look back, one of my big motivations for working so hard in this business in the early times was to find for myself a kind of self-worth which I imagined I would see reflected from the world when I became famous. It didn't work." He laughs shortly. "Being well-known has worked in other ways, but it didn't make me particularly happy. When I first realized that wasn't gonna work, I found other ways to work on myself, through Gestalt therapy, and working with Dr. Brugh Joy (a world-renowned metaphysician who gave up his medical practice to work with groups at his establishment in California's Lucerne Valley. Richard brought the film rights to Dr. Joy's book, Joy's Way, three years ago, and has a contract to produce and star in the story for CBS. He hopes to get it under way later this year.)

"Fame isn't the answer. The answer is allowing yourself to be who you are. I grew up at a time when certain values were deeply impressed upon children: in school and at home. There was a certain image to be maintained and a certain goal to be achieved."

One must bear in mind that Richard was born and raised in the rarefied atmosphere of Beverly Hills, where most of his friends at school were super-rich. His own father was a first salesman for a market fixture company, and then took over the firm. But he still wasn't raised in an atmosphere of wealth.

He became interested in acting while he was in college, but recalls, "My family wasn't enthused about my going into show business. They'd seen me in some college productions," he laughs. "I did want to go to college, but in my senior year I made a decision to take the gamble and get into acting. They didn't say 'don't do it'; they were supportive and they helped me, even though they didn't say 'Oh boy, this is terrific'."

His career proceeded normally: he studied with noted acting coach Jeff Corey, he got minor roles in a dozen TV shows, and in 1961 he got really lucky with Dr. Kildare. By the time that show had finished its run - there were 132 one-hour shows between 1961 and '65 and 57 half-hour episodes the following year - Richard Chamberlain was a big star. So big, he wondered if he'd live down his reputation of being the noble young doctor who did everything including make house calls.

He did what was then considered a rash step: he moved to England and worked in repertory. "I went to England because I felt it the best place to go and study. I had this real powerful hunch that I should go there and study. I was attracted to British theatre and I had amazing luck."

Indeed. He got raves for his role in a six-part adaptation of Henry James' Portrait of a Lady on the BBC. He appeared in Hamlet, The Madwoman of Chaillot, Julius Ceasar, and played composer Peter Tchaikovsky in the Music Lovers opposite Glenda Jackson. There was more Shakespeare, other classics, and when he played Aramis in two versions of The Three Musketeers followed by Cyrano de Bergerac, no one made anymore jokes about the boyish Dr. Kildare. Richard Chamberlain had arrived, as a serious actor of the theater and films. Deservedly so.

He is, of course, delighted that he listened to that powerful hunch, as he terms it. "I always try to listen to my inner voice. That seems to be one of life's most ironic essences: that very soft little voice of intuition is so easy to ignore, yet it's so often accurate. I always choose my roles intuitively. They appeal to me for reasons I couldn't say. I always have an answer as to why I choose a role, but the answer really is that it has a magnetic quality. Now, as a producer, I know that I read scripts looking for ways to make scenes work, and ideas that come up seemingly from nowhere. They just spring into my mind. It's not an intellectual process. Oh, it is to some extent, but it is largely emotional and intuitive."

As noted, here is a man who is comfortable with himself and he doesn't have to prove anything anymore. He's done that. So, when asked how he can top the role of Father Ralph, he says easily, "I don't think in terms of topping things. Everything is different and real to me. My next movie, titled By Reason of Insanity is for my own production company. I play a man named John Balt, who murdered his wife, spent years in an institution in therapy and is now back in society as a contributing member. In fact, he wrote his own life story, which this is. This story goes into areas I've never touched upon, so it's a vast challenge.”

"After Shogun and Thorn Birds, I find my interests are turning back to more ordinary parts - not that the John Balt story is ordinary, it isn't. He's an ordinary man who gets caught in an incredible vortex. Yes, I have leaned towards larger-than-life roles and that might have something to do with the fact that I have a very romantic nature. I didn't find life terribly interesting when I was a little kid. I hated school and I didn't like sports. I didn't like anything that anyone else liked. I felt out of it. It isn't that I didn't have friends. I did. And I had a pretty good time, but I was always fascinated by adventure movies. Especially Errol Flynn. But the other night when I couldn't sleep I turned on an old Errol Flynn movie and it was boring. It didn't hold up. The Three Musketeers and that kind of swashbuckling does, but not the one that I saw," he mock mourns.

Every actor has a dream role, and Richard has played such variegated parts - has he played it already or is his dream part still in the future?

"I think John Balt is as fascinating a part as I'll ever get. What are dream roles? Roles that call for words like depth and complexity, people who want things passionately and have to overcome tremendous obstacles to get them. My theory about John is that he wanted wholeness in his life that he unconsciously felt wasn't there. I think murdering his wife was unnecessary, but who am I to say that? He was living a life complying to images. He had an image of manhood, an image of the writer, of the husband and father, and he never said 'Who am I, what kind of man am I, what kind of father, do I love my children?'"

"Who am I?" Richard repeats the question. "I'm beginning to get answers at long last. What I am is an ever-changing alive being, who is not an image, who is not consistent, and I'm beginning to allow myself to BE instead of trying to be consistent and trying to comply to images. Images such an American hang-up. And so here I am in a business where images are more powerful than almost anyplace else except sports. I have found that I have warmth and lovingness and creativity. I might have doubted that before. I'm much more comfortable with people, much more willing to speak my mind. I don't have to try to manipulate people into liking me. I don't. I thought that I did." He is very thoughtful now and seems to enjoy looking within.

What are his long-range goals these days after 20-plus years of a good and rewarding career?

"I've done some satisfying work in the theatre, and I'd like to do more but I find it difficult to find the time. I want to continue along the lines I've been pursuing. I really like what I've been doing. I like my mobility in TV, I want more emphasis in films. I think I'm ready for that."

"And I like my life. I've finally created a home that I really love. I've had several houses, but I just remodeled this one - in a quiet canyon street, and it's just perfect for me. It's slightly Oriental, slightly Japanese. I brought back a lot of stuff from Shogun."

And who lives in this perfect house?

Just Richard Chamberlain and his pals. "I have two dogs," he says with all the love in the world in his voice. "Two Dalmatians: Jessie the Bandit Queen and Billy Boy."

And what does Jessie steal to merit that colorful name?

"My heart," he says in a tone that any animal-lover can recognize.

And so, then, one knows that Richard Chamberlain, a really happy man, does indeed have it all.

http://www.richard-chamberlain.co.uk/online.htm

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interview 32

Dick Diagnoses Dick His candid answers to 55 probing questions

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butyouholdon-blog · 7 years ago

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I’ve Been Feeling Everything (SL with @FadingFromSight and @APerfectSong_)

Wes: -The past couple of weeks had been kind of a whirlwind. I wasn’t surprised that Lindsay had been insistent that she would only work with me in the studio. It had been a contingency of her signing on with this studio when I’d first been hired and she’d first been signed. I had a bit of a reputation around the studio for being a hard ass in the booth, even though I was very different with her than I had ever been with anyone else, and I always had been.

Everything that I did in the studio was designed to get the best possible performance out of the artists that were under my supervision, which meant that I pushed some people past their comfort zone. It was where the real art lay in most of them. Some people couldn’t handle that. Some people needed it. Those were the musicians that I worked well with.

I had no idea how Aaron Bennett worked, but the two of us were about to find out. I was in the recording booth beside his assistant, Ophelia, while he was preparing to record a cover of Kiss Me. I was just waiting on him to give me the signal that he was ready while I was making last minute adjustments on the levels of everything in the studio. I knew today was a test to see if the two of us were going to be able to work together before he recorded anything with Lindsay.

I leaned in to the microphone, pressing the button to pipe me into the studio where Aaron could hear me.-

Just say the word when you’re ready, Aaron.

-Releasing the button, I turned to the young woman next to me, trying to be friendly, though the two of us had really just met.-

So, how long have you and Aaron been working together?

Ophelia: *There wasn’t much I could say to the man in the studio with me and Aaron. I wasn’t entirely sure how to tell him the full story. I started working for Aaron because I was around him all the time. It was the nature of our relationship. It wasn’t even that we were married. Because that was not a step I was ready to take with him. I liked where we were. It was comfortable. It was just that I knew how to read him better than anyone else.

But realistically, I knew what the answer had to be. And there was no reason to not lie about this part of our relationship. He was my boss. And it wasn’t the biggest deal in the world. We made everything work for us. Clearing my throat, I looked up from the phone that had my attention. There was a million and one things going on, and Aaron still didn’t know if he was going to get his wish of doing a duet with Lindsay.* A couple of years, Mr. Francis. Mr. Bennett has particular tastes in the people he keeps close to him. And it seems he has grown rather fond of me. Or maybe it’s because I keep him on schedule. Most producers don’t know how to keep him focused. And right now, he’s not. He’s itching to record a duet.

*It wasn’t that I was bitter about the duet. Singing was not my forte. But I knew that Aaron wanted an answer about working with Lindsay Evans. And the record company had told us that there was some kind of hold up with her. They’d have their answer about her recording with him after he started work on his new album. But it was still something I continued to check on for him. He wasn’t often someone who asked to record with another artist, but when he had found out Lindsay Evans was part of this label, he was excited to sign. It meant working with someone that I had hoped wanted to work with him.

Sending out another message to the label executives, I tried to gather more information about why there was a hold up with Lindsay Evans. I just knew that the diva act was something that was bothering me. She didn’t have to do this to him. She didn’t have to force him to lay a track before she decided if she wanted to work with him. It was almost unfair of her to demand that. But all I could do was curse down at my phone as the executives told me to not reach out to her. She’d come to her decision on her own terms.* I hate divas. I hate girls who think they’re better than everyone else. I just need an answer! Sir deserves an answer.

Wes: -I couldn’t help but to listen in to the things that Ophelia was saying, and there was only one thing I could imagine that she was talking about. I’d been watching Aaron through the glass as he prepared for recording. I could tell that he was on edge. From what she was saying, I figured it was about his desire to record a duet with Lindsay. I knew she’d put out there that he was required to lay down at least one track with me to make sure that he could record with me, because she wasn’t going to record with anyone else.

I wasn’t sure how much I should say to her, but she was clearly upset about the situation. I didn’t want either of them walking into things thinking that Lindsay was a diva, because she was far from it. She simply knew her limitations, and working with another producer wasn’t something that was going to happen.-

I know he wants to record with Lindsay Evans. I’ve worked with her since she was a teenager. I’m not exactly the easiest person to record with, but she can’t work with anyone else. I’m not certain how much anyone here has told you. She and I sort of come as a package deal.

Ophelia: *And suddenly I was mortified. I had never taken into consideration that it wasn’t her being a diva. It was something Aaron had dealt with before. So I was protective of him when it came to female artists. I wanted him to get what he wanted, but I didn’t want him to get hurt in the process.

Looking at my hands, I felt the soft apology slip from my lips. I wanted to be open with him. I wanted him to know exactly what had happened and what we had been through.* Aaron has had many female artists make the same demand that Miss Evans did. And they tend to back out once he has a track done. For one reason or another.

He’s been looking forward to recording with Miss Evans. He loves her sound. And signing with this label is exactly what he wanted. Because it gave him the chance to work with her. But no one has told us anything. No one wants to explain her motives. They just expect Aaron to roll over for everyone.

Wes: -I felt bad that I’d made her want to apologize to me. That wasn’t my point. I’d just wanted her to understand what was going on with Lindsay before she jumped to any conclusions. I knew how tight lipped the executives here could be. They thought it made them seem more authoritative, and I knew that it just made the artists who were waiting for an explanation that much more nervous.

I was flattered that he liked her work. It was, by extension, my work, even though what immediately came through was Lindsay and her incredible voice. The arrangement and the details were my stamp on all of it. I’m the end, each album had been a collaboration between the two of us.

There was more to what she was saying though. She was far more protective of him than I would have expected an assistant to be, even a long term one. She had also called him Sir which gave me a little more insight into how things between them worked and how I could best work with him. I just wasn’t sure if I should bring it up to Ophelia or not-

You have nothing to apologize for. I know how cryptic communication can be in a studio sometimes. She’s actually excited to work with him. She’s been talking about it for weeks at home and in the studio.

-I was interrupted by Aaron piping in from the studio, and put my focus on the sound that was coming in through the headphones perched on my ears-

Aaron: -I had no idea what to expect from Wesley in the studio, but my recording with Lindsay Evans was contingent on this. Why this producer? I didn’t know. No one had told me anything. I was itchy to get started with the track I really wanted to do, and this just seemed like an obstacle in the way of what my goal really was.

This was something I just had to get through to get there, and the sooner the better. I knew I was driving Ophelia crazy with my questions and irritation. I had no idea how she was tolerating me these days, but we’d been through worse together. I could be temperamental when things weren’t going my way, and as much as I might try to suppress it, it came out when I was off my guard.

I had signaled that I was ready to begin to the producer and he counted down to the beginning of the recording. I’d practiced this song before, and I could play and sing it without a second thought. If this was the show I had to put on to make this duet happen then so be it. I just knew that Ophelia was going to know I was half assing this.-

Ophelia: *As soon as Mr Francis said at home, I knew we had a lot more in common than I originally thought. He and Lindsay were an item. And this was how we were going to be able to give Aaron his current dream. And I was going to do everything in my power to make it happen. Even if that meant doing something that would upset Aaron.

I needed to test him. I needed Wesley Francis to be what everyone had warned me about. I needed him to push Aaron to his best performance.* He’s being lazy. His control over the guitar could be stronger. His chords are sloppy at best. He’s phoning it in just so he can work with her. Don’t let him get away with it. Don’t let him do the easy thing. If she’s just as excited as him, make him work for the opportunity. Call him on his flaws. Tell him you hold the keys to Lindsay Evans. It’ll piss him off, but he’ll work.

Wes: -I could hear what Ophelia was talking about before she ever opened her mouth, but having her permission to push him made me that much more determined to get the best work out of him possible. I simply nodded at her with a single sentence-

I hope your Sir realizes that I have the best interests of both of them at heart.

-I left it at that without waiting for her response. If getting the best performance out of him would come from pushing him for his best then I was going to push him until he gave up whatever attitude was holding him up from putting all his effort into this. I was a dom, and I knew what kind of challenge I would have taken seriously. I just hoped I was right on this judgement call.-

Is that the best you can do?

-I saw him freeze and the air of defensiveness wash over his face as Aaron moved to reply, but I cut him off before he could give into his instincts and rebel against what I was saying-

I’m serious. Be perfectly honest with yourself and tell me that that was the best you could do on that song and you weren’t just going through the motions, and then I’ll know you were lying to me. That was sloppy at best. All of it.

-I left it there. I figured he knew where he’d been slacking off. If I’d seen him putting in effort I would have been more constructive with my criticism. As it was, I just wanted to see what came of it when he was actually trying. I knew I’d put on my dom voice without even trying. I could feel that part of my personality wash over me. It was something that helped in the studio from time to time, but this time it was me turning the tables on another dom. I could only hope it didn’t backfire.-

Aaron: -I recognized the tone of voice coming across from the booth immediately. It was one I’d used plenty of times myself, but it hadn’t ever been used on me before. It got my hackles up. I wasn’t nearly ready to admit that I hadn’t put my all into that song for this producer. He didn’t know me or what my best was.

I narrowed my eyes and flared at the booth before glancing over at Ophelia. She was listening to all of this, and she knew more of the truth than Wesley Francis ever could. I toyed with the strings of my guitar for a moment before replying .-

I guess we’re doing another take then?

-It was the only thing I could come up with without going off like a bottle rocket at this guy I didn’t know from Adam's house cat. All I knew was that he was the one thing standing between me and the duet that I really wanted. -

Ophelia: *I didn’t hesitate as I slammed my hand down on the button to talk to Aaron. I wasn’t going to give him the full story. I was just going to tell him what I felt he needed to know. There was only so much that he could understand. My voice was a low growl, one I only used when I needed Aaron to put his best foot forward. This was exactly what he needed to hear.*

Stop being lazy. Stop giving attitude. Do you want to work with Lindsay? Lay the track. And lay the track right, Sir.

*I accentuated the word Sir. I was telling him that I wasn’t hiding our relationship from the producer next to me. I wasn’t pretending that we weren’t an item. And I was forcing Aaron to understand all of that.

I didn’t bother to say another word before I let my hand fall back to my side. I was already kind of exhausted with the way Aaron was being. But I knew the truth. I knew how serious he took his music. And I knew how much he wanted this.* He’s going to fight you, Sir. Give him another take to prove that he’s serious. Give the constructive criticism, but then slowly give him some kind of hope about recording with Lindsay. He has a track picked out. He’s trying to rework it into a duet. But he’s getting ahead of himself.

Wes: -I knew exactly what she was talking about. He was ready to have all this over so much that he was putting the cart before the horse. It hadn't escaped my notice that she’d also called me Sir. I wasn’t exactly hiding the fact that Lindsay and I were together or the nature of our relationship as much as I wasn’t advertising it either. Ophelia was good at picking up the clues I was leaving her though. -

I’m going to trust your judgment. I don’t care if I piss him off. If he’s mad that means he’s at least taking me seriously.

-I sat back in the chair and just watched him for a moment as he struggled to wrap his head around the fact that we were both calling him out on his bullshit before I spoke to him again-

We’re doing another take. First thing I need you to think about is that guitar. I know you can play it. So why don’t you show me?

Aaron: -I’d heard the growl in Ophie’s voice and the challenge in Wesley’s. It left me feeling stripped almost bare with both of them coming for me at once. At least with Ophie, I knew she was only challenging me to help me get what I wanted. Maybe this was going to be the best way to get it. She had to trust him if she’d called me Sir in front of him instead of Mr. Bennett or just plain Aaron.

I wasn’t going to be able to let go of the anger I had rolling through me that easily though. This whole situation had me feeling petulant as hell. It was like I had to audition for the part. I knew Lindsay Evans was good. But I didn’t like the idea of thinking all of this and I were somehow beneath her. It was going to poison my performance until I got it out of my system. I just didn’t know how to let go of it all.

Instead, I just grabbed the guitar and started playing the opening chords to the song. I was putting emotion into it this time, but it was the wrong one. This song didn’t call for the raw anger I was feeling at the moment but it was all I had to give. -

Ophelia: *He was feeling attacked. I could tell it in the way he was playing. He was angry and frustrated. And this was not the way it needed to be done. There was more to it than this. He needed to understand what was going on. And he needed to know that I still cared about him. And as much as I hated going into the booth, he needed me in there for a second. Just so he could get into the right frame of mind.

I saw Wes nod his head in my direction. It helped that he probably went through this with Lindsay. He understood that sometimes you just needed to be in the same space as the person you were connected to. It made everything that much more powerful.

But the raw anger wasn’t the right thing to be feeling. It was the wrong emotion for this song. Not for this one. I knew the original. I knew that this was nothing about anger. It was all about love. It was all about my relationship with Aaron. Even as just AJ and Ophie. It was us at our core. Without the titles and everything else. It was just us. The walk was slow as I tried to gather my composure. I needed him to understand why this was going to be okay.

As I opened the door to the booth, I slipped inside as he tried to lose some of the anger with each chord. My lips pressed against the back of his neck to try to get him to calm down. I wasn’t sure how much was too much, but I had to give Aaron something. I had to let him know what was going on. He needed to know what information I had. My voice was just a whisper against his skin. I was used to communicating with him in the studio. I knew what he would hear and what he wasn’t going to hear.* They’re just like us, Sir. He’s protecting her just like you’d protect me. Prove to him you’re serious about recording with her. Give him the best you have.

*I felt my voice waver as I thought about the next sentence out of my mouth. I knew it was a gamble. It was something I wasn’t entirely sure about, but I had to take this chance. I had to give him the okay to sing this without his Dom side getting in the way.* Sing this for me, AJ. Forget everything else going on around us. Sing this for me.

Aaron: -I noticed Ophelia moving from her seat in the booth towards the glass door that lead into the studio where I was trying to make this work. I hadn’t known what she was doing until she walked over to press a kiss to the back of my neck. All the tension that had been building since I’d first asked to do a duet with Lindsay Evans was melting out of me as soon as she called me AJ.

We had our moments. I was her dom from time to time. I was her boss part of the time. The rest of the time I was AJ. And she was right. This song called for a lot more love than I was giving it with how frustrated I’d become. I didn’t care if Wesley was rolling tape on this take already. I knew what kind of magic a producer could do with a recording, and instead of just keeping on going down the same track I’d been going on, I decided to start over.

I wasn’t sure what exactly Ophie meant by saying he was just like us, except that he had to be involved with Lindsay. Of course he would have been screening anyone who wanted to go work with her. It made sense now that I knew. I just wasn’t exactly sure how much more like us they would be. I only knew that she was comfortable calling me Sir in front of him so he had to understand something. It explained a lot of his reputation.

This time around, I pretended there was no one else in the world except me and Ophie in this little recording studio and I played this one just for her. -

Ophelia: *I knew what he needed. I knew that he was trying to just get through this. He wasn’t thinking about the record. He was thinking about getting his duet. But I knew that he needed to focus on the album as a whole. And having him lay this track was a reminder that he did need to focus on the album. He had time to figure out other songs. He didn’t have to have all the answers right this second. But he needed to take this seriously.

As he settled in to play, I took a seat on the floor. I didn’t want to disturb him, so I wasn’t going to walk out of the booth. And I knew the truth. He needed me here. He needed the constant reminder that this was the way he needed to sing it. He needed to be in the same space as the thing that was the most important thing in the world for him.*

Wes: -I just let whatever was going on in the studio happen while I rolled tape on this. I didn’t care how long it took him on this take. I could trim it down to capture the best parts of it. That was my job. When she walked over to him, planted a kiss on the back of his neck and whispered something that was just between the two of them, I could watch the tension drain out of him. He needed her. I knew the feeling. I needed Lindsay the same way, and I’d seen her get lost in her emotions just like that in the studio. It appeared all of us had more in common than we’d originally believed.

This performance was far different than the two that had just happened. There was just as much raw emotion in it as he’d had the second time around, but this one was more focused on the woman who sat on the floor in front of him simply watching him play. It was more gentle, more what the song was about. I listened to him sing and understood exactly how he was going to mesh with Lindsay’s voice. His was deep and sonorous where hers was more soft and sweet. The two of them were going to work well together as long as I could get them in the right headspace to work together. I knew I was going to need Ophelia’s help with that.

For now, I was just happy to catch the emotions between the two of them. Now that he’d gotten all that frustration out of his system.-

Aaron: -I remembered why I’d picked this song the moment Ophelia settled at my feet. It reminded me of her and it had since the moment I’d heard it. It couldn’t have been better than if I’d written it for her myself. I found her eyes while I was singing my favorite part of the song, just concentrating on putting the right emotions into all of it and forgetting all the technical aspects of everything-

I’ve been feeling everything. From hate to love, from love to lust, from lust to truth. I guess that’s how I know you…

-She was there through the entire gamut of emotions that I went through, no matter what happened. I wasn’t certain I deserved her, but I didn’t ever intend to let her go as long as I could.

I’d loved her since the first time I’d laid eyes on her, even if I hadn’t been able to tell her for awhile afterwards. She’d been my assistant longer than she’d been my girlfriend, but I’d been hers for my entire life.-

Ophelia: *As soon as AJ was done, I gave him a few minutes to come down. I knew how the emotions ran through him when he was singing for the album. And I knew that it was just a little bit more with this song. It was one that we both loved. And it was one of the ones that had brought us together. It meant so much to us. So I stayed in my position on the floor in front of him. I knew the microphones were going to pick up this conversation. But I also knew that Wes wasn’t going to ues it against us.

AJ needed to hear everything that I knew. He needed to know why I was going to side with Wesley on everything with this album. It was about me protecting AJ as much as it was going to be about Wesley protecting Lindsay.* You want to know why I encouraged him to push you the way that he did? It’s because he’s the reason we haven’t heard back about Lindsay. She can’t record with a different producer. She has to have him as her producer. And apparently it’s been that way since she was a teenager.

*I gave the man in front of me a smile as the lightbulb went off in his head. Producers were just another person to us. But it was true that there were certain producers that worked very well with their artists. And it seemed that Lindsay was very attached to Wes.* I don’t know what happened, but you know the tone you heard from Wesley. You know he’s a Dom. I don’t know if it’s his rules that she can’t record without him, or if it’s something more than that. I’m willing to bet it was something from before. But you need to prove that you can work with Wesley before you can go to Lindsay. Is that something you can do?

Aaron: -I was already kicking myself for being a stubborn ass as soon as I heard the words that Wesley Francis was the gatekeeper for Lindsay Evans. Of course she wasn’t going to take up the offer of a duet from just anyone who offered it to her. I had expected it to be a little difficult, but the fact that she had her producer looking out for her in more ways than one should have already occurred to me. It was the same way that Ophie and I worked to an extent. She screened things from me at times. It was part of her job as my assistant, but there was an element to it that wouldn’t have been there if the two of us hadn’t been involved with each other.

I couldn’t stop myself from strumming at the strings of the guitar while we spoke. It was a hard habit to break, and being in the studio made it even worse. It was just easier for me to think if my hands were doing something I didn’t really have to think about. I’d been petulant, and I had gotten the push from Wesley because of it. I’d deserved all of that, even if I hadn’t realized it in the moment.-

I can do it. If that’s what it takes. I don’t mind being pushed. To be honest, I needed it, especially now that I know it has a reason.

-I couldn’t help glancing over at the glass window that separated us. I knew he could hear every word we were saying. That didn’t mean I was holding anything back. I’d have said the same thing even if he’d been in the room with us. What I’d been so worked up over was not knowing where any of this was going.-

Wesley: -I could hear the two of them talking through the headphones I’d left on, though I’d stopped the recording as soon as he’d stopped playing. I might have felt a little guilty about being the reason that Aaron and Ophelia were kept in the dark if I hadn’t done it out of protection for my Rose. There was more to it than just the fact that she could only work with me. It did mean that Aaron was going to have to be able to work with me as well. But I was always going to make sure that Lindsay wasn’t getting herself into a situation that wasn’t going to work out for her benefit.

Aaron had a bit of a temper, but most artists did. It wasn’t anything that she and I couldn’t deal with, and it was slightly understandable considering the circumstances. But now that I understood about the relationship between Ophelia and Aaron, I knew that the two of them were going to be much easier to work with than I’d anticipated.

I didn’t care that Ophelia was telling Aaron her suppositions. She didn’t know all of the details, but she knew enough to share the important parts with him. I could fill them in on the rest when we were out of the studio if they wanted to know more. For now, I was content to make sure that he knew enough for the three of us to get things wrapped up in here more quickly.-

Ophelia: *Honestly, it was up to Wesley about if he wanted AJ to record another track. But I had a feeling the three of us were done for the day. We all had gotten what we wanted in a way. Lindsay was still up in the air, but I knew it was simply a matter of Wesley and her talking. If he thought AJ could record with him, then I was sure it was going to be a done deal. Both of them seemed to want it. But I knew how AJ could be once everything started to get to him. And I wasn’t going to let him get that way with her in the room.

Standing from my spot on the floor, I looked at the man who was still fidgeting in front of me. He was still just as terrified of Lindsay telling him no as he had been when he walked into the studio. But I knew it wasn’t going to be a no. Wesley had gotten the best out of AJ. There was no doubt in my mind that we had found our producer for the album.* You have a temper when you record. And you pout when you don’t get your way from the word go. You can’t do that when she’s in here with you. You cannot explode if something isn’t going right. We’ll talk to Wesley to figure out the best moves if you both get stuck. But you cannot do what you normally do. Do you understand me?

Aaron: -I could only laugh when Ophelia started to warn me about being stubborn and contentious when I was working in the studio with Lindsay. I was going to have to be on my best behavior. I figured I could manage that much. As far as working with Wesley went, I could manage that as well. If he could manage me without losing his cool as he had, then he and I were definitely going to be able to work together.-

Then we’ll figure it out, Love. I promise to behave myself around Lindsay, and if I start losing my cool, you’ll be the first to know. I want this enough to know not to screw it up.

-I walked over, letting the guitar fall to my side as I stole a kiss from Ophelia’s lips and glanced towards the glass and Wesley-

So, is that a wrap? Or do I need to do it once more from the top?

Wesley: -I’d heard enough in the last take to know it was probably the best I was going to get out of him. After Ophelia had walked into the room, he’d changed entirely, and the song had shown that change. Having her in the room had given him the exact right motivation to get it done as it was meant to have been done without any further prompting from me. It was pure, and I wouldn’t have been able to reproduce those emotions if we’d done it a million times. It wasn’t about that song being perfect. The song he’d chosen was all about the emotion, and emotion wasn’t something I could fake or practice a musician into.-

I think it’s perfect, Aaron. If you’re happy with it, then so am I.

-I didn’t think either of them was going to demand another take, but I’d been surprised by an artist before. I wanted to offer them the opportunity to record it again if they wanted, but I could tell from the sound of Aaron’s voice that wasn’t going to be a thing. -

Ophelia: *For some reason, AJ looked to me for an answer. I wasn’t sure what he wanted to hear, though. If Wesley thought it was perfect, there wasn’t much else I could tell him. I was only here as his girlfriend and assistant. It was not my job to decide how well he was singing. All I could do was tilt my head at him and wait for his answer. But it seemed he wanted my opinion.*

I can’t be in this part of the booth, AJ. Not every time. And you know that. I can sit behind the glass with Wesley. But I cannot always be in here. I don’t think you’re going to get a better version of the track than you just laid down. It’s damn close to perfect to my ears. Maybe Wesley can find some work for it, but if he’s not telling you to record it again…

*I let my words trail off with a shrug. I wanted to give him the chance to make up his mind. Gently pressing my lips to his jaw, I whispered softly against the skin.* I think there’s still a discussion the three of us need to have before you and Lindsay jump into the study. Ask your producer if it’s okay for us to talk.

*I didn’t give him a chance to answer me before I was sliding out the door. I needed to take a breath and think about where we were going before I went back to Wesley. I knew that the next step was getting her into the studio. We needed the two of them to get together and see if this was something that was going to work. But I wasn’t going to let anyone walk into her space if she wasn’t ready for all of this.*

Aaron: -I knew she was right about us needing a talk. I figured Ophelia had more cards in her hand than I did at this point with the situation we were in. I wanted her opinion on the track, because that one had been for her and no one else. It didn’t matter that we’d gotten it on tape or that it would be going on my next album. That song would always be hers.

I let her walk out of the room after stealing a kiss off the back of her hand. I knew after this one, I was on my own more or less in the studio, even if I was working with Lindsay. I had to keep my shit under control.

I shot a glance over behind the glass at Wesley and knew he was listening, though I was going to ask him for a chance to talk anyway-

So, Mr. Francis? What do you say about you, me and Ophelia sitting down for a little chat after we get everything wrapped up here? Your office?

Wesley: -It seemed like there was a lot we needed to talk about. Ophelia had been smart to suggest it before she’d left the studio, because I would have asked them to join me in my office when we got finished in the studio anyway. I needed them to understand a few things, and I felt like I needed to understand their dynamic a lot more before we dove into all of this.-

Why don’t you take a quick break while I get things saved and loaded where I can work with them a little more back in the office. Then we can meet back upstairs if that’s alright with you.

-Aaron just nodded, grabbing his guitar and heading out into the hall to take a breather. After the intense session we’d just had, I figured he could use it. If he was anything like most artists, that had taken a lot out of him, but we still had a lot to talk about concerning how things were going to go in the future.-

Ophelia: *I gave AJ a smile as he walked out into the hallway. Taking the guitar from his hands, I let him press his lips against my cheek. Just to the side of my piercing. This was absolutely the right move for everyone. I needed AJ to prove that this was how we were going to be, but I wasn’t going to be a distraction in the studio. I was there to help when he needed it, but I wasn’t going to step on anyone’s toes to get his best performance out. Lacing my hands with his, I started pulling him out towards the parking garage. I didn’t want to have to carry his guitar up to Wesley’s office with us. And there were still a few things I wanted to talk to him about before we made our way up to the office.

Taking a breath as the warm air hit us, I turned to face the man next to me. Giving him a small smile, I let a soft laugh slip out.* You can do this without me. I know you can. But you need to be confident. Wesley isn’t going to tear you apart unless you give him a reason to tear you apart. Don’t give him a reason, Sir. You know this.

*By switching from AJ to Sir, I was letting the silent question fall into the air. What did he want me to be when we were in Wesley’s office. Was I going to be Ophelia the assistant, Ophie the girlfriend or Doll the submissive. The way that he responded was going to tell me how he wanted me to act.*

Aaron: -Ophie had spent all of our time back in the studio calling me AJ, and as much as I felt like I’d been chastised back there by Mr. Frances, I needed my girlfriend at my side more than I needed the submissive side of her at my feet. I could enjoy both halves of her, and I needed the part of her that was my assistant and kept all my life in order. But right now, I needed her to hold my hand through all of this. My music left me a little bare at times, and today was one of those times.

I let her get to the car and slide my guitar into the backseat of the car before I reached out to thread my fingers between hers, pulling her into me as I reached around her to shut the car door in one smooth motion.-

Then I won’t give him a reason to tear me apart, Ophie. Just be there holding my hand while I try not to make an ass of myself, okay?

-I leaned in to steal a kiss from her lips before wrapping my arms around her and pressing her chest against mine. I needed her at my side more than anything at the moment. I knew we were going to have some talking to do with Wesley, and that there was more to his relationship with Lindsay than meets the eye. I just wasn’t sure exactly how much to be prepared for as we made our way back into the building.-

Ophie: *It had been my job to learn about the building. I knew where we were going without thinking. I didn’t want to give AJ the time to get lost. Because he would. With the way his nerves were acting, I knew he was distracted. And taking control was something I could do for him.

All I could do was relax, though. Going into Wesley’s office, we were going to be on the same playing field. I wasn’t going to be Doll. I was just going to be Ophie. I could switch roles easily, so I could have been Sir’s Doll. But hearing that he needed Ophie more than he needed Doll made me breathe a little easier. The receptionist outside of Wesley’s office gave us a smile and nodded her head. It was her way of letting us know that he was waiting for us.

I didn’t hesitate as I took a seat across from the man that I had spoken to earlier. I wanted AJ to understand that all of this was going to be okay. We were going to be able to make all of this work.* He’s not going to shut you down, AJ. I’m pretty sure he has a million and one ideas for you and Lindsay.

Wesley:-As soon as I’d wrapped up everything in the recording booth, I made my way back up the stairs to my office. I half expected Aaron and Ophelia to be waiting there for me when I’d arrived, but I was glad to see that they’d taken my offer to take a break and then come upstairs to meet me. I knew the two of them probably needed a moment to themselves before we carried on with the next steps of whatever was about to happen. I didn’t intend to keep any secrets from the two of them. I didn’t think I was going to be betraying any confidence of Lindsay’s to let them know the type of relationship that the two of us had, especially if it meant that Lindsay and Aaron knew better how to work with each other when they finally got into the studio together.

I’d needed a bit of a break as much as the two of them had seemed to. We were all learning a lot about each other, and it seemed that we would be learning a lot more in the very near future. All I could manage to do was settle into my desk and wait for the two of them to join me for the rest of this conversation.

Only a few minutes must have passed, though it seemed like longer before I heard them coming through the outer doors and went to hold open the office door for the two of them.-

Come on in. I think we have a lot to talk about.

Aaron: -I grabbed Ophie’s hand to pull her into the office behind me. Wesley was right. It did seem that we had a lot to discuss, just based on the things she’d told me on our walk out to the garage and back. I hadn’t been party to most of it while I’d been shut away in a different room, though I didn’t think they’d actually discussed that much. The only thing I could think of doing was making all three of us sit down and figure out all of this, even if it meant that he was going to tell me that Linsday and I weren’t going to be able to work together. I needed to know, no matter what was going to come of it.-

Well, why don’t we get this thing started? I think that’s probably the best idea.

Ophelia: *I knew AJ was nervous. He still didn’t have the direct answer of if he was going to be able to work with Lindsay. I wanted to reassure him. I wanted everything to work out for him. But I also knew it wasn’t entirely my place to tell him that this was going to come together for him. Wesley was her producer, first and foremost. Yes, he may work with other artists, but Lindsay was the center of the world for him as a producer. She was his precious gem. And he would do anything to protect her and her sound from falling into the wrong hands.

But I knew that AJ had a way with music. It was rough, but it could be turned into something pretty amazing with the right opportunity. And I wanted him to have this opportunity. And I was afraid for him. He was closing himself off because he wasn’t entirely sure where Wesley stood on the idea of AJ and Lindsay in the booth together.*

Take a second to breathe, AJ. You’re getting ahead of yourself. And before you say a word, it is absolutely written all over your face. *Turning my attention to the man across the desk from us, I gave him a smile while spinning the piercing in my cheek.* Tell him he can work with her. You’re going to allow Lindsay in the studio with AJ.

Wesley: - I hadn’t said anything to Ophelia about Lindsay working with AJ, but I was convinced that the two of them were going to sound amazing together. They just needed to understand more about how the two of us worked together if this duet between the two of them was going to work out.-

You absolutely can record with Lindsay. She won’t have a problem with it. I just think you both need to know a few things about her process before the two of you work together. It’s going to take some time, and some patience, maybe out of both of you, but it’s her first time recording a duet with anyone.

-The two of them needed to know about the only time she’d tried to record without me, and the fall out from all of that. It was an absolutely necessary story for them to realize the way things could go if we didn’t to this right.-

There was only one time she’s tried to record without me. She was upset with me, and rightly so. I’d earned it, but going into the studio with anyone else turned out to be a disaster. She got lost in her head, and no one knew how to pull her out when she melted down into a full blown panic attack. Someone had to come and get me to take her out of it, and even then, it took me days to get her back into the right mindset to really start working on the album.

I don’t want you thinking she’s fragile. It’s just that she’s such a perfectionist that she’s going to spiral when things aren’t exactly as she pictured them unless I can give her something else to focus on. It was how we figured out that there was more to the two of us than just being a producer and a performer. I had to blindfold her to get her from getting lost in her head.

To be honest, there are a lot of things the two of us are still figuring out. Especially about the two of us being a couple while we work together, but we’re a package deal. Take or leave it.

The two of you are going to need to spend some time together to work out what you want to sing and figure out the right arrangement, and then you’ll need to spend some time in the rehearsal studio to get it right before we ever step into the studio to record it. The thing is…

-I glanced over at Ophelia before the next thing came out of my mouth.- I don’t think that either Ophelia or I need to be there when it happens. The two of you should get a feel for each other before we ever step into things as a group.

-I wasn’t sure how either of them was going to respond to that, but it was absolutely a thing that needed to happen.-

Aaron: -I knew that Wesley had a point there. I didn’t mind if Ophelia was around, but if Lindsay was as particular about the way she worked as she seemed to be, then having two new people around her was only going to make it that much harder to get the work done. I could understand something like that, and I needed to make sure that I got a feel for her and the way she worked before we ever stepped into the studio together. Besides, we needed to work out exactly what we were going to do first. I had a couple of ideas I wanted to run past her, but I had no way of knowing how she was going to respond to them.

I just wanted to make sure that Ophie was going to be alright with it all. I glanced over at my girl, giving her hand a squeeze. She’d left me alone to do my thing plenty of times. We came as a package deal, but we could operate on our own well enough-

I’m down for it if you are, Ophie. I’m just ready to get the ball rolling since we’ve all been waiting so long to see what comes of this.

Ophelia: *All I could do was nod my head. I couldn’t exactly tell them no. Not when this was the right move for both AJ and Lindsay. I could absolutely be the demanding girlfriend. I could tell him that I wasn’t going to let him go alone. But I wasn’t that girl. The problem was that I didn’t have much of anything to do. AJ and I weren’t from New York, so the hotel had been our home since we had arrived. And I wasn’t sure if he was going to go have me do stuff while he was with Lindsay.

I felt my shoulders rise and fall in a shrug as I looked at the two men in front of me. They knew what would work best for this recording. AJ knew his process, and it seemed like Wesley knew Lindsay’s process. But that shouldn’t have been a surprise. Especially if she had been his artist since she was a teenager.* If you think it’s for the best thing for the recording, I can’t stop you. I don’t have it in me to play jealous girlfriend. But I can honestly tell you that I don’t want to be locked up in a hotel room while you’re off working on this song.

*I wasn’t sure what they wanted to hear. But I also wasn’t going to just give in to them, either. Yes, AJ may have be my Dom. And Wes was a Dom. But this was not a playroom or a BDSM club. I didn’t necessarily have to put on the perfect sub facade for either one of them at the moment. This was a space where I could completely come to terms with what I was feeling and why I was feeling that way. I wasn’t being Doll. I was being Ophie, just as AJ wanted.*

Wesley: -I could tell from the look on Ophelia’s face that she wasn’t thrilled about the idea of being alone while AJ was in the rehearsal space with Lindsay. I couldn’t blame her. The two of them were more or less new to the city. They were staying in a hotel until they found a more permanent place, and she wasn’t going to know anyone. Leaving her alone to her own devices, even for a couple of hours, wasn’t something that I was a hundred percent willing to do.-

Then don’t sit around the hotel room. There are a couple of places in the city I think you’d enjoy visiting. You should come around with me while the two of them work on rehearsing. Besides, there are a few friends I’d like you to meet. I think you’ll enjoy getting to know them a little better. It will give you someone in the city to know at least, so you’re not completely on your own.

-I wanted the two of them to know that they were most certainly not alone in the city, and I thought taking Ophelia to the Little Shoppe of Temptations and maybe showing her Trinity would be at least a way of introducing her to the city.-

Aaron: -I gave Ophie’s hand a squeeze. Getting to know the city would be a good thing for her, along with meeting more people around here. The two of us barely knew our way between the hotel and the studio, much less anything else. Getting out of the hotel while I worked with Lindsay was probably the best plan, but I wasn’t going to answer for her. She needed to make up her own mind that this was what she wanted to do. I still wanted her to have my encouragement, however-

You should go, Babe. It’ll be a good chance to get out and meet some new people, and it’ll give you something to do when I’m busy. I won’t need an assistant that day, and you deserve to get out and have some fun.

Ophelia: *I wasn’t sure I wanted to believe him. But I knew that if he was telling me to go out and have fun, I was going to go out. And the offer from Wesley was almost too good to pass up. I figured he was right, though. I did need to get out and meet new people. And there was really no one better to spend the day with than with Wesley. He understood the city. He knew people. And both of them were right. The best thing for me was to meet other people. I just wasn’t entirely sure where we were going and why Wesley thought it was a good idea.

I gave AJ a smile, though. I wanted him to understand that I got it. This wasn’t about me. This wasn’t about him leaving me. This was about his career. It was the best thing for everyone. And if that meant going into the city with Wesley for a day, I was pretty sure it was something I could do.*

I’m not opposed to going out for the day with you, Wesley. You know the truth about me and AJ. You know we’re living out of suitcases right now. And I think the possibility of us making New York our home is something we’re both seriously starting to consider. So if you think there are people in this town worth meeting, then we can go ahead and meet them. I’m just not sure where you want to start this little field trip of ours.

Wesley: -I knew what it was like to be new to the city. I’d been there myself a few months ago. I also hated to hear that they were living out of a suitcase. I thought that was at least something the studio could take care of. I had a bit of an idea there, but it was something I was going to have to run by the executives a little higher up than me to make sure that it happened. That could wait, even if not for long. Introducing Ophelia to some of my closest friends was something that was a bit more immediate.

I knew that Lindsay had felt utterly alone when we’d first come to New York. It had been one of my shortcomings as her boyfriend, even if I’d been new to relationships in general, at least relationships where I really and truly cared about the other person. I still had some guilt about that, but I could help prevent it for Aaron and Ophelia as much as possible.-

Good. I promise you won’t regret it.

-Turning to Aaron, I grabbed a pen and some paper to jot down the address for the penthouse that Lindsay and I lived in along with my cell phone number, passing it over to him.- Here’s my address. You and Lindsay can use the rehearsal studio there, and I’ll be waiting to take Ophelia around town for the day. Just call me if you have any trouble finding it.

-I had to admit I’d been a little nervous about the way that things might go today. I’d half expected Aaron to say that he wasn’t going to be able to work with me and effectively end things then and there. Instead, it seemed that they were going to be a lot more of an element in mine and Lindsay’s lives that I’d first thought. I was now just looking forward to seeing just what they thought of the other important people in our lives. Something told me that they needed to meet Cay and Myrick almost as much as Lindsay and I had. Being isolated was a bad thing, and not being sure who you could trust with the details of your life made it even worse.

We could take care of the fact that they were living out of a hotel sooner or later. That would take more than a day to organize. Tomorrow, though, I had already blocked out the day to spend with Aaron in case things hadn’t gone as planned in the studio today. It would be easy enough to give them the time they needed. I just hoped for everyone’s sake that I was doing the right thing here.-

#IveBeenFeelingEverything

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