#Stop being sexist for fucks sake

[quinnick]

God, I hate normalized sexism. I hate it. Women aren't impatient. Women aren't inattentive to detail. Women aren't just one way !! Just shut up forever. Its not funny and stop trying to rope me into it because I will be a "killjoy" and make you feel super awkward.

[jksprincess10]

His hand so calloused from his pistol softly traces hearts on my face || Joel Miller x reader

Summary: Tommy hires a new ranch hand behind Joel's back and he's not happy about it.

CW: jackson era, rancher!joel and helper!reader, mean!joel, perv!joel, unhinged and bold!reader, lots of banter, mentions of parent death, alcohol, masturbation, smut, dry humping, unprotected p in v, fingering, daddy kink, degradation kink, lots of pet names (baby, etc.), big cock joel miller, lots of dirty talk, some fluff and feelings, no y/n, multiple POVs. (2.8k words)

A/N: Special thanks to @fhatbhabiee for proofreading, @notjustjavierpena for the beautiful banner, @saradika-graphics for the dividers.

“The hell is this?!” Joel’s fists are closed against his hips, his head cocked to the side as he looks at what Tommy has brought into his home, another lost sheep.

“This is your new helper.” His younger brother gestures towards you and you look at the older man, an eyebrow raised in defiance. It wasn’t the warm welcome you had expected. “Maria’s about to pop out any day now, so I hired someone to take my place in the ranch.”

“You think a lil’ girl can help me?” Joel looks down at you, his steel gaze analyzing your reaction. But Tommy cuts you off before you can say anything.

“Don’t be a sexist ol’ prick. She has experience and took care of animals in her previous community.”

“And I’m not a little girl.” You add, detaching every syllable. “Shall we try that again? You must be Joel.” You tell him your name, and he takes your extended hand in his calloused palm, squeezing it stronger than necessary.

“Nice to meet you.” He grumbles.

“So, where’s my room?”

“Your… room?” Joel asks, his murderous gaze pinning Tommy down.

“Listen, she just got here. It’s temporary. Give ‘er a room, feed her and she’ll work for you for free.”

“I sure fuckin’ hope so.” Joel mutters.

How dare he bring this pretty young woman into his home without asking him before? The worst part is, you’re hard working. Every day, you get up at the crack of dawn to feed the cows and the sheep. You’re stronger than you look. And sometimes, you cook for him too, and he hates admitting that you’re good. You’re too fucking young, too fucking good looking and he shouldn’t be looking at you like that. He shouldn’t be fucking his fist every night since you arrived with your name dying on his chapped lips.

Joel joins you in the barn to see if you’re working well. You are, of course, milking one of the cows; your knees in the mud, pulling on the cow’s udders.

“When you’re done, put the milk into glass bottles and bring ‘em inside… We can trade ‘em.” Joel orders, then clears his throat. “D’ya… need anythin’?”

When Joel doesn’t bark out orders, he’s silent. It’s the first time in a week he’s shown any care for your well-being.

“Hm… clothes for the cold months coming would be nice.” You finish milking the cow and get up. You look at your ruined pants and sigh. “Yeah… clothes would be nice.”

“Sure thing, kiddo.”

You cringe at the nickname. “Thanks, Joel. But stop calling me that.” You can’t look at him, and you simply pet the giant, but soft beast who moos in response. You chuckle and turn to Joel. You pretend for his sake that you don’t hear him on the other side of the wall every night, wet noises mixed with heavy pants. You pretend you don’t do the same. “I’m closer to 30 than to 20.” You watch as he swallows heavily.

Still, 26 years is a big age gap, and Joel curses in his head as he hears you confirm your age.

“Right, but I’m 56. You’re jus’ a kid to me. I could be your dad.”

“I’m a woman. Treat me like one.” You respond firmly. He sees how worked up that gets you, how your body is facing him with your fists tight like you’re keeping yourself from hitting him.

Joel sighs and stays silent for too long, leaving with a last glance at you and another order. “Be ready in 10. We’re goin’ downtown to get you clothes. Be late, and I’ll go without ya.”

You’re fuming, and you want to curse the man’s ancestors, but you stay silent, obedient. You pack the milk harvest of the day: 3 good bottles, that would only need to be filtered before consumption. You go into your room to put on your only clean pair of jeans, and join Joel at the front, where he’s stoically waiting, big, stupid strong arms crossed against his chest, the sleeves of his flannel pulling against his muscles. You stomp to him with a box of milk in hands, and he chuckles, the asshole chuckles –

“Listen, asshole – ” You push the box into his arms, and he takes it effortlessly, an amused grin on his face. “I don’t know if you’re just sexually constipated or what, if so, please for the love of God, get fucking laid, but you don’t have to be mean to me all the time. Just because I’m young or because you don’t want me here or…. You know what? I had a dad, he’s fucking dead. You’re not my father, move on. Treat me like a fucking person.”

One of his eyebrows lift, and he looks at you for a few seconds, before asking: “You done?”

“No. Tell me you’ll stop being an ass or I’ll go find someone more annoying than me to replace me.”

“Fine. I’ll treat you like a woman and a person.”

“Thank you for the bare fucking minimum. Let’s go, cowboy.” You say between your teeth.

Your walk from the ranch to downtown Jackson calms you down. Everyone else is too nice for you to stay mad.

“S’here.” He points at the storefront with a sign that reads clothing and repair services. You go in with him, a soft bell announcing new guests. There are a few racks with seasonal clothing, a few different sections clearly identified: for children, women and men. Joel brings the milk up to the counter and the owner gives him five coupons in exchange.

“You can get five things.” Joel tells you as he hands you the coupons.

“But…. Don’t you need anything?”

“No, I’m fine.”

“Okay…”

You look around while Joel waits at the counter. You find two sweaters your size, two pairs of pants and some underwear (that were on “sale” for 3 for 1 coupon). You give your coupons to the owner, she counts your items and tells you that you’re good to go.

Weeks pass, where Joel really tries to be nicer to you after your little meltdown. He doesn’t call you kiddo anymore – thank God – but you sometimes feel his gaze linger. You both try to stay away from each other – why would you fuck your new boss - because truth is, you find him very attractive despite his ill manners. But seeing Joel every day in the most domestic of settings lights something inside of you – a profound want and… affection.

In some rare occurrences, you have fun together. There are a few people in your backyard – Tommy, some townies you met through Joel, Ellie, Joel’s adoptive daughter who had moved away with her girlfriend. You’re settled around a bonfire to shield your bodies from the cold. Joel has a guitar on his lap, and his face has a pleasant glow from the beers you shared. You’re sitting between him and Tommy.

“Hope the old man’s treating you well.” Tommy jokes, a dig at his older brother.

“Surprisingly well. Well, after he stop treating me like a fucking kid.” You snort.

“Yeah, he tends to do that.” Ellie concedes.

“Stop talkin’ about me like I ain’t here.” Joel grumbles.

“You just had to be nicer.” You grimace.

“Had to see if you were a good worker ‘fore.”

“Am I?”

Your shoulders brush, and you smile innocently at him.

“Guess so.”

That’s the closest thing from a compliment you’d get.  You call it a night shortly after, but everyone seems determined to spend the night outside.

You wake up in the middle of the night to a door closing, so you decide to get up for a glass of water. You pad silently on the cold wooden floor, only wearing your panties and an oversized long-sleeved shirt. You almost jump out of your skin when you see Joel sat on his favorite chair in the living room, knees spread like he owned the world. He had a half empty beer in hand.

“Didn’t mean to wake you up, sweetheart.” His voice is rough. He looks up at you, eyes tracing your curves through your shirt, focusing on your bare legs, on your nipples peaking through your shirt. You self-consciously wrapped your arms around your torso.

“S’okay…” You go into the kitchen to get a glass of water. You could still feel Joel’s gaze on you, since the house was open-floored.  “Hm, Joel?”  You suddenly felt bold, maybe it was the remaining alcohol in your system.

“Yeah?”

“Why do you masturbate every night when I’m right here?” You sip on your water as you walk back calmly to where Joel sat. “Why don’t you fuck me, huh?”

Joel’s face burns with shame, and you smile when you realize you were right.

“You’re way too young and pretty for me, darlin’.” He leaves his bottle on the table next to him, and he pinches the bridge with a long sigh. “And you’re workin’ for me.”

“Let me be clear, Joel.” Your glass joins his bottle, and you lean towards him, your legs between his, your arms around his neck. “I like you. I want you. Please. Let me have you.”

Joel’s breath comes out shaky, and his rough hands grab onto your shirt. “Tried so hard to make you hate me, so this wouldn’t happen.”

“You succeeded for a while.” You smile sweetly, your fingers treading in the curls on the back of his neck.  “You’re very hot, Mr. Miller. I won’t beg again.” Your breath fans his dry lips.

“Okay. Okay.” Joel pulls you down even more, and you’re almost falling on his lap as his lips crash on yours. It’s hungry and angry, desperate. He’s angry at himself, you know it, but you don’t want his shame. The older man tastes like beer and smells like fire. Your teeth pull on his bottom lip.

“I do the same thing, Joel. I fuck my fingers every night while I imagine yours.” You whisper against his lips after a chaste kiss to his swollen bottom lip.

Joel groans and drags you down. You sit comfortably on his lap, feeling the rough tent in his jeans.

“Le’me see you.” He sounds more confident now as he pulls on your hem and lift your shirt over your head. You like his heavy gaze on your breasts, his calloused fingers pulling on your nipples to make them harder. You sigh happily and thrust your hips against his hard cock. He feels so big, but you’re confident you could take all of him.

“Y’wanna rut against my cock like a bitch in heat, huh? Go ahead, sweet girl. Make yourself wet for daddy.”

You didn’t think Joel had such a dirty mouth on him, but you obey. You rub your wet panties against the large bump in his jeans. The rough texture of the used fabric pleases you, but you need more. You clumsily remove your panties and abandon them on the floor. Joel, in a trance, admires your pussy. His fingers barely touch you, and you’re already panting.

“S’all fo’ me, huh? D’you need help?”

You nod enthusiastically.

“Words, baby.” He pressed, his free hand holding your chin up.

“Touch me, daddy. Please.”

“Suddenly so polite and sweet.”  Two of Joel’s fingers circle your clit as you keep desperately moving your heat against his jeans, your mouth falling open in a silent moan. Pleasure builds rapidly in your core, and you’re thrusting your hips even harder, until you come in a moan.

“That’s it, that’s it.” He soothes. “C’me here.” He holds you in his arms strengthened by years of manual labor and lifts you up as he gets up. You wrap your legs around him. “M’not done with you, but I want you to be comfortable.”

He brings you to his bedroom, which you had never seen fully. Only glimpses here and there. Somehow, it felt more intimate. He drops your body on his large bed.

“How are you still wearing clothes?” You complain, and he chuckles.

“So eager, aren’t ya?” Joel starts undressing, still on his feet by the bed. He only leaves his boxers on, and you try to see him in the dark. You decide to rely on your touch instead, when he takes the spot between your legs. Your fingers trace his strong back, finding scars here and there. You kiss him, softly this time.

“Need to get you ready fo’ me,”

“Yes, please.”

His calloused hands spread your legs more, before he inserts one of his thick fingers in. You tighten around him, it already feels like he’s stretching you out.

“Relax baby.”

You breathe, in and out, slowly relaxing your walls at the same time.

“That’s it, le’me in.” He thrusts it in and out a few times, before adding another finger. He uses his thumb to caress your clit, soothing the pain through another wave of pleasure.

“F-Fuck, Joel. That’s so much.”

“I know baby, you’re doin’ so well. Jus’ let go.”

He fucks you hard and fast with his fingers, pressing on your swollen clit with his thumb. You’re moaning and thrashing through your second orgasm of the night, and Joel’s looking at you intently, his free hand caressing the lump in his boxers.

“Need to fuck ya now. Can you take it?” His fingers leave you empty, and he soothes you with a kiss on your forehead.

“Yes. Give it to me, please.”

He pulls down his boxers and throws them away. You watch in awe as his girth jumps out. He holds the base and swirls the fat head against your wetness, making you jump a little, still sensitive.

“So wet fo’ me.”

He aligns the head of his cock with your hole and pushes in slowly. You let out a breath after the big tip has breached your entrance.

“That’s only the tip. More?”

You nod your head a few times. “I want everything.”  You’re so scared this will be the only time you can have him like this, bare and desperate.

He thrusts in, feeding you his cock as slow as he can bear. You hold on to him.

“You’re so big, Joel.” You whine.

“I know baby I know.” Joel kisses you lazily and sensually, stopping his movements when his hips are flush with yours. He waits until you move on your own, and he thrusts in and out with your help, still slow and careful. Your eyes roll in the back of your head, you had never felt better in your life.

“Faster.”

He listens, snapping his hips faster and harsher, but he can’t seem to be able to fuck you as hard as he wants in this angle. He suddenly leaves you empty and grabs your hips to turn you around, your ass in the air.

He thrusts in before you’re even ready, and the angle is perfect.  He fucks you hard and fast, the sound of his hips snapping against your ass and your pants fill his bedroom. The line between pleasure and pain is so thin, but you love the way he lets himself go. His big balls hit your clit a few times, and you’re crying of pleasure. You hold on to his silky sheets and to the solid, wooden headboard as he pounds into you.

“Gimme ‘nother one, c’mon.” He urges you through gritted teeth. “Come on my cock.”

He slows down to catch his breath, fucking you deep and hard, and one of his hand sneaks to the front of your body, teasing your tits with expert hands. Your pleasure builds in your tummy, before the pressure releases, and you come hard around his cock.

“Atta girl.” He praises, breath heavy. You feel him move away, and you turn around just in time to see him pumping his cock a few times, until he comes in any piece of fabric he can find – which ends up being his boxers.

You lay down on his bed, all members spread as you catch your breath with a dumb smile on your lips. You couldn’t believe you were just fucked by Joel Miller.

“I never came so much in my life, God.” You whisper in amazement, a hand against your sweaty forehead.

Joel chuckles and you hear his steps moving away from the room, but he isn’t gone for too long. He comes back with a warm, wet cloth, which he uses to soothe your swollen pussy, and clean himself up. He climbs into bed with you, and you hope he doesn’t ask you to go back to your room. Ever.

You’re both laying on your side, facing each other. Joel lifts the blanket over you and lays his palm against your warm cheek.

“M’glad Tommy hired you behind my back.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. Stay. I like you.”  He adds after clearing his throat. You smile and bring his palm to your lips to kiss it.

“I like you too. I won’t leave, if you want me to stay.” You assure him.

“Good.” He says as he closes his eyes.  “Sleep, you’re workin’ early tomorrow.”

“You’re the worst.” You mumble as he chuckles weakly.

[sulfies]

Based on this glorious chain

Sigh…

Leonardo knows that sigh and what causes it better than anyone because he sighed exactly the same way, at the same time as he and Desmond watched Ezio wipe his forehead with his shirt as his stomach deliciously got bared for their eyes.

He was stacking and moving some crates around for him in the studio.

Leonardo whipped his head to the side and almost gave himself a cramp from it, his eyes wide he stared at Desmond more intensely than he would have wanted.

Because as he mentioned,

he knows THAT sigh…

There was no way but maybe just maybe… he also? There was no other reason for that sigh, there was no naked lady painting hanging behind Ezio and did he mention he JUST knows that sigh… His eyes darted to Ezio then back to Desmond. 

He had to be…

but what if he was wrong…

That look too, he looks at Ezio exactly the same way he does. He just had to be… like him.

Leonardo did not know how he would bring it up, does he even bring it up? Again what if he was wrong, then De-

“God damn, Id lick the sweat off of that man…”

Leonardo’s mind went fully silent for the first time.

“...Am I right?” 

 Leo had to stop himself from almost screaming from the shock, his eyes even wider he stared at Desmond who just slowly turned his head to him with a smile Leonardo recognized that was a copy of Ezio’s shit-eating grin when he talked about “the ladies”. 

Well, that clears it… He coughed to clear his throat mostly and blushing he looked to the side. “I-” he chose just to nod. If he tried to speak right now he fears his voice would crack from how his brain is coming to a full stop. He heard Desmond chuckle “Ugh maybe we should just stop the torture and ask him to take his shirt off so we can actually watch…”

That got an actual yelp from him which made Ezio turn at them.

“What are you two girls gossiping about?”

“First, that's sexist. Second, I was just saying that you should take that sh-”

Leonardo’s hand clapped on Desmond's mouth with a loud slap “HE WAS-” Cough “He was just saying that you should take that STUFF off the crate, the one with the blanket draped over!? T-that one… He thinks he spotted something with… his vision… yea that's it”

He could see Desmond roll his eyes from the corner of his eyes. Ezio knew about Leonardo and was okay with it BUT it didn’t mean the man wouldn’t take offence to being looked at like that!

Desmond ripped his hand away, too easily and just chuckled as Ezio looked at them both with a brow raised.

“Sure… yes, I did can you please go over and look it's like behind the 2nd row?please?”

Ezio huffed, “I just stacked those ones into a pile!”

“Pretty please?”

“Only because you added the pretty.”

Desmond hummed in thanks as Ezio went over the stack and squatted “Which one again?” “The one behind that you have to reach over”

“Things I do for you both…”

Leonardo watched as Ezio got on his knees and used the first row of crates for support as he dug into the parchment and god knows what-filled box with his back to them.

…aaand Desmond sighed again, really how did Leonardo never realize how much Desmond stared “that” way before this. But he was indeed staring at a good “view” of Ezio bending over those crates which gave him a false sense of security that Desmond was satisfied.

“What am I looking for here?” 

Desmond didn't hesitate in his response “Oh for nothing I just wanted to stare at your ass a bit, looks great”

“DESMOND! YOU CAN’T JUST!” 

Leonardo's hands slammed on the table as he whipped his head, he was up from the chair without realizing it, horrified “E-Ezio so sorry a-”

Ezio’s deep chuckle which quickly turned into a belly laugh stopped Leonardo’s terrified rant. He got off from his position and turned on his knees, getting up.

Ezio took a look at Leonardo's face.

“Oh for fucks sake Desmond you are going to give Leonardo a heart attack”

He smiled at Leonardo as his chuckles died down “The stuff I have to stop him from saying out loud everywhere, Mio Amicò… you would think of me as Saint Maria next to this one”

Leonardo was gaping at them like fish out of water. 

“I only speak the truth we all think about and don't be too humble with yourself I know you’ve got a napkin to wipe your sweat…”

“Yeah but then how else would you girls will stay entertained.”

What was going on… Leonardo could not speak, he felt like his brain was melting…

“I think he is shortcircuiting.”

“What does that mean?” “Don't worry about it”

Desmond whistled and snapped his fingers at his face several times, “Yep, we broke him. Did you not tell him abo- oh shit wait you really didn't tell him that swing both ways?! I thought animus just didn’t show me or something I mean it's not like you didn't also bed men-”

Desmond WAS trying to give him a heart attack after all

 “You WHAT?!” “ah that got him back.”

“Desmond! You-” 

Now it was Ezio trying to zip Desmond's mouth.

“You have slept with men before!?” and there was the voice crack he was afraid of, he shrieked more than he talked.

“Well, I was going to If I ever got serious with…” Ezio averted his eyes with a playful smile that didn't hide his blush “Someone special…”

“Wooow I am not special to you?” Desmond quipped back with a teasing tone.

“I mean BEFORE and then… I didn't have the right time…”

Oh…Oooh he got it he suddenly got it…“You two…really?” the look on Ezio's sheepish smile was telling enough “I was going to tell I swear Leo…”

And he could not stop a chuckle that escaped him “Really!? really, Ezio out of all people becomes a sadomite and the man you pick oh so HAPPENS to be a look-alike of you? A prime subject of the Narcissus complex right here!” He wagged his finger teasingly.

the situation now was just funny, the panic had died down... 

“Ouch, my best friend…”

“Eh…”

Leo dreaded what Desmond was going to say.

“... Don't worry Ezio, with how Leo has been looking at us both...There should be a complex for that too right?"

This was a losing battle for Leonardo yet he found himself not caring as sat back down next to Desmond... "Tell me how..." He pointed to Desmond to Ezio "This happend then?"

"Ascolta, è una storia lunga,"

Leonardo pointed at the seat in front of him...

"I have time..."

[akajustmerry]

people in the tags of my dw article like, "wow. chibnall might be worse than moffat" for fucks sake get some perspective Chibnall tried to frame the Doctor being a Nazi as empowering!!!!!! like actually wrote the Doctor using literal bonafide Nazism against her FRIEND, sending a person of colour to Nazi death camps on PURPOSE and framing it as a triumphant moment. It does not compare even remotely to Moffat's boomer gen x Madonna/whore sexism. It's the difference between some shitty sexist subtext and actually having a white character use white supremacy for fun and explicitly signal to your viewers of colour that violently disposing of them is "heroic". Also, if youse actually cared to fucking read what I wrote or bothered to watch the show to see for yourself, Chibnall's writing was sexist too. The 13th Doctor constantly endured condescending gendered writing and even gendered violence within the show that Chibnall barely acknowledged, but consistently enacted. A lot of youse think hating Moffat is peak criticism, but actually caring about this show is recognising that the reason Moffat got away with driving this show into the ground is because sexism, and white supremacy are baked into this fucking show and ALL showrunners have enacted it. Yes, including Davies. I am on my knees begging for you guys to stop looking at media through the lens of auteur theory, and actually critique media on what it's representing as its presented. I'm so exhausted with people "bad appleising" media, like one person is the source of all that's wrong and if we get rid of them everything is fine. media is the product of people working within systems and media reflects those systems as much as the people. stop bad apple-ising because it makes you uncomfortable to admit something you care about is inherently bigoted.

[olivialauren]

hi. i dont think anybody will see this, but i have to just get it out. the gvf fandom is so toxic. yes, hannah said crappy things, and no her apology wasn't great but the way some of you are acting is ridiculous.

shes a human being and sam clearly loves her. reading into pictures of her and gvf saying "omg danny and jake look so uncomfy near her" is insane.

i would even go as far as to say some of you are being wildly sexist. she is a good musician and she's working very hard, and acting like shes only where shes at because of sam is NOT COOL. she has been making music about as long as they have and shes just very talented. period.

so fucking what if she post about sam a lot? she loves him and YES, FINE, its getting her some publicity.

and for fucks sake stop saying shit like "why is sammy with such a vile person?" even if hannah was a horrible person, a lot of you seem to have forgotten that sam has a long history of cheating in his relationships, and danny has also said some really shitty and racist crap on social media.

hannah has every right to block you guys and defend herself.

also she probably didnt get to choose when her singles were released, it just happened to line up with josh coming out. she probably didnt know that he was even going to do that. a lot of you have forgotten that you simply do not know what goes on behind the scenes.

i seriously think some of you are just jealous that sam is Hannah's boyfriend, not yours, and you don't know how to deal with that fact

thanks for reading if you did. it was a long ride lol

(go listen to Hannah's music, its dope)

[zvtara-was-never-canon]

Kataang is a ship that dared to be different. Not sure why people think Kataang is a sexist ship when Katara and Aang both protect and support each other and neither is the damsel and the hero in the relationship.

And yet people think ZK is better than the average M/F ship when the reason why ZK is so damn popular is because of annoying overdone hetero-normalic tropes. To the point where people think Zuko taking a hit for Katara is romantic coded (and apparently me and my peers are """delusional""" for not seeing it as romantic coded) and that ZK fanfics are such romantic fantasies of Zuko saving Katara and Katara being such a meek little girlfriend for the badass chad fanon!Zuko. (As if the ZK fanbase is aware that Zuko and Katara are both pure yang energy and they have to make Katara meek to make the ZK ship work.)

I mean yes I am annoyed Z/tara is as popular as it is but Kataang is canon and ZK is dipping in popularity and it feels like the bulk of the ZK fanbase is just annoying ass middle aged women who get pissy at a kids show for not being the adult show they want...

Just food for thought...Especially considering ZK shippers act immature trying to 1-up people by saying their ship is popular (I mean, are they unaware Zukka topped Z/tara?) And again, popular doesn't automatically mean good...Especially since Z/tara is only popular because it hits all those hetero-normalic beats that people adore so much.

Guys, come on, let's be serious here. I LOVE kataang, with all my heart, BUT best friends to lovers is as cliche as enemies to lovers, main guy dates main girl is as cliche as hero falls in love with the villain who changes side. To quote my best friend @dragomer "A knife is cliche. It's still what you use to cut shit with."

The problem with Zutara fans is not the they prefer the more "traditional" romance, or that it's cliche, or that it's smutty, or that they sometimes make it a toxic dynamic, or that it's not a "progressive" ship. The problem is they feel entitled to push their preference as the only correct one - it's the same issue that made the fandom for Zukka, an actual non hetero ship, so hated by everyone else. No one likes the people that think only they are allowed to have fun with fanon. No one likes the people that expects them to disregard canon for the sake of their prefered fanon.

And speaking as a bisexual woman: we gotta stop with this nonsense of labeling straight ships "non-hetero normalic" for basic shit (and the reverse of it, the "hetero-normalic gay ship" that is literally just the age old homophobic question of "But which one of you is the woman?" with woke language attached to it). It doesn't matter if Kataang is "heteronormative" or not, because:

1 - All that matters in fiction is if something is WELL WRITTEN AND ENTERTAINING, not if it's progressive or more on the traditional side, if it's cliche or "subverting expectations".

2 - What media you find entertaining has nothing to do with your politic views and real-life sexual preferences. Liking one of H.P. Lovecraft's stories doesn't make you a racist, disliking Freddie Mercury doesn't mean you're homophobic (though it does mean you have shit taste in music), liking the most traditional straight romance ever doesn't mean you're straight yourself.

3 - In the case of Avatar in particular, lets be fucking real: no way two straight writers back in 2005, while working on a kids show in a network that had a long history of banning episodes of shows that tried to hint or full on talk about homosexuality, were thinking "How do we make this straight ship less 'hetero-normalic'?" They were just writting whatever felt right for the characters and story - that's why Avatar, while flawed and a product of it's time, aged WAY better than many shows of the time that had "be progressive" as the goal, it avoided forced narrative choices that were only made to beat the audience over the head with the moral lesson of the day.

[a-court-of-moonlight-and-ire]

Hello everyone, today I'll do something never before seen on the flames and darkness liveblog which is read TWO chapters!! Idk man, i havent been able to read more than one chapter at a time recently because this book suddenly turned into such a slog to get through, although granted that might also just be my mental illness making it more difficult. whatever, i'll be in treatment for that next week

Anyway, today I'll be reading chapter 44 which is the star fall chapter, and chapter 45 which is. a chapter. Knowing this book series nothing of note is gonna happen in that one but that wont stop me from reading it

Chapter 44

Okay, theyre mentioning Feyre not looking so emancipated amymore and it made me remember all the weird weight shit from the start of this book. Like, she was losing weight because she was throwing up all the time and then not eating a lot and everyone was constantly remarking on that and it was unbelievably uncomfortable, but then when Feyre officially joined the night court and everyone immediately stopped talking about it, it almost feels a little manipulative, if that makes sense. Like, this book is ostensibly about Feyres healing journey but the Night Court cannot, under any circumstances, have anything negative associated with it so her trauma basically just disappears so we dont have to see the unpleasant parts of her recovery, she has one (1) nightmare after she starts living there permanently, one (1) moment where she feels too depressed to leave the bed and a few moment where she acts out but then immediately feels bad for it every time

Ughhhhh Feyre is wearing a dress for this which is really frustrating but you guys already know how I feel about that so shant go into that much more detail on this

I swear Im not just saying this to be a hater, Feyres dress sounds so tacky too

yoooooooo is Cassian implying he'd like to wear a tacky ass dress too??

and yet hes just wearing a BLACK TUNIC bro Feyre is literally covered in diamonds from head to toe so she can look like a shooting star or whatever and Cassian doesnt even have the decency to wear a black tunic that glitters or something?? Or hell, maybe even a red tunic to match his siphons, idk, give me SOMETHING im gonna tear my fucking hair out

Feyre is wondering about the IC being her friends and its like, girlie theyre barely even each others friends and youve known each other for maybe half a year to their 500 years

Feyre is describing Azriel hungrily staring at Mor's ass and it reminded me of that one bonus chapter Ive seen discussions about where he's really horny about Elain in a way thats pretty uncomfortable, and a lot of ex-Elriels say that it made them stop liking the idea of the ship because thats when they realized that SJM was just gonna mutilate both of their characters for the sake of smut, but honestly I dont think she would even need to mutilate Az that much

I could not give less of a shit about the Mor/Cassian/Azriel drama but I have to admit its kinda funny reading about Feyre speculating so much about Mor's relationships knowing shes gonna turn out to be interested in women

Mor says that Rhysand was very upset after she had sex with Cassian and beat him up as hard as he could (#incest) but she says he wasnt upset because of her virginity but because of the danger she put herself in by losing it, which is like, first of all that seems like splitting hairs, he was still upset that she lost her virginity even though that was none of his business. And second of all, I think it would actually make sense for him to have the kind of archaic sexist beliefs that would make Mor losing her virginity upsetting to him, considering he was also 17 when that happened just like Mor and Im guessing there wasnt anyone around to teach him feminism. or maybe hes so feminist he came out of the womb believing in womens rights and didnt need to be taught anything

god, the inner circle dynamics are so comically fucked up I have no idea how they can stand being around each other

Again, Im not much of a Feylin girlie but "Your hair looks... clean." >>>>>>>>>>>>>> "You look like a women again." (???? whats thag even supposed to mean)

So Rhysand is not wearing a black tunic, but he is wearing wearing a black jacket which is equally disappointing. atleast he has his tits out i guess

Rhysand was gone for 50 years and yet his best friends are not spending any time with him at their first party together since theyve been seperated, thats what i call friendship goals

Yeah, I guess its kinda sad that Rhys missed out on important holiday that meant a lot to him while undr the mountain but you know who else had to do that? Literally everyone that wasnt from the spring court

So he doesnt wanna tell his friends, who are by all accounts doing alright because theyve spent the past few decades trapped in a beautiful idyllic city, about his trauma but hes perfectly fine traumadumping on a twenty year old woman who just started to recover from her own trauma

Maybe Im just in a bad mood but this bullshit where theyre getting covered in star spirits or whatever feels so joyless to me, like its not whimsical or fun to me

Okay so, Ive heard about Rhysand calling Feyre exquisite and it made me cringe just thinking about it, but it looks like theyve translated that to him calling her 'herrlich' which means the exact same thing but it sounds a lot less weird and bad. once again, thank you, Alexandra

Feyre really just said "You regret sexually assaulting me? But why?" huh

Chapter 45:

Okay, thats the end of the chapter but theres two more things that kinda annoyed me that I didnt feel the need to mention as I was reading. 1) Feyre kept going on and on aboht Rhysand being her friend, it felt so insincere, its like sjm say a post online right before she started writing this chapter that was like "in the best relationships, your partner isnt just your partner but also your best friend" and decided to put that sentiment in her book, and 2) I felt like there were so many moments towards the end of that chapter where Feyre is like "oh, ive never felt this way with anyone" and its very obviously alluding to how she didnt love Tamlin as much as she does Rhysand now, and it was just very strange to read, like Tamlin was haunting the narrative even though hes not even dead yet

Uhm. so i got really tired all of a sudden so I took a nap at this point and read some gay vampire fanfic to rejunivate myself and now Im ready for whatever happens in the next chapter

"I was a traitor. [...] Even though I oficially left Tamlin - it was only two months ago, after all. By Fae standards that was probably barely more than a day." Oh yeah, i havent been keeping track of the time thanks for reminding me that this story about immortals is moving at a breakneck pace for no goddamn reason. But also, as an author trying to write a grand long-lasting romance, why would you write this. I know Feysand are gonna get married at the end of book and now when I get to that point Im not gonna be thinking "wowwww such romance" Im gonna be thinking "damn these bozos did the fae equivalent of getting eloped in vegas after knowing each other for barely a week"

Oh, men of all ages are training at this camp? would you say some of them are. child-aged

Feyre is being all "its so cold here, im freezing in my illyrian leathers I cant imagine a child with no clothes surviving here for a single day, much less eight years" (referring to Cassian) and yet she doesnt spare a single thought to all the children who have to be at this camp as well because this is the camp that the batboys grew up in, its not like this is a different kind of camp where they dont train children

God I hate Feyre thinking about how fuckin powerful the batboys are especially because its like, Rhysand is literally their high lord, he already holds so much power over the guys running this camp we dont need a reminder that he could easily crush their minds or that his goons need more syphons to contain the totality of their power or whatever

I get that these guys are like, shitty misogynists or whatever, but I dont think Rhys throwing them out of the house they live in is some #boyboss move hes just being an asshole

Rhysand would never want to lock Feyre in a house for protection, but he does want to decapitate anyone who lays a hand on her which is soooooo much better

Rhysand keeps calling the.... "females" of this camp "girls" which implies one of two things: 1) hes talking about adult women, hes just calling them girls, which is not very feminist of our feminist king, or 2) hes talking about actual girls aka children which. thank god for our feminist king having equal-opportunity child soldiers

Its actually kind of surreal how theyre at the camp where the batboys spent their CHILDhoods and Feyre keeps talking about what it mustve been like for Cassian while the narrative is actively avoiding talking about children being at the camp at this present moment while also not outright stating "there are no kids here at this present moment"

"'[The clipping of the wings is] to ensure the safety of their women, they said.'" this reminds me of something @/kateprincessofbluewhales said in regards to Rhysand forcing illyrian women to train but not doing anything else to advance their rights, which is that the wing clipping mightve started as a way for men to help women dodge the 'draft' that seems to be mandatory for all healthy illyrians. I dont really have anything else to say about that, it just popped into my head and i thought it was interesting

Rhysand is talking about how at some of the camps, women are declared anti-marriage material if they train and how he cant do anything about that and its like, even if these women are not officially declared unmarriable or whatever, the misogynistic men that make up these camps are probably not gonna wanna marry a women who trains, so what difference does that really make

Also, he says the only thing he could do about 'laws' like that is to murder the warlords and take their children/trainees? under his wing and I guess he thinks he would have to do that for every camp that does that but honestly, I think just doing it once or twice would send a powerful enough message to discourage other warlords from being misogynistic. And he wouldnt have to raise all these children all by himself either, Im sure he could get the help of a few non-sexist men or even, gasp, some women. Like those priestesses living in that library Im sure some of the ones that have already recovered from their trauma somewhat wouldnt mind teaching some boys about the harm that misogyny does

Okay so the blood rite is called a Blutritual [blood ritual] in german which is a little confusing because a ritual is a pretty specific thing and I dont think the blood rite is that specific thing but whatever, it sounds cool enough

Ive said this before, I am not a Tamlin girlie, at best I prefer him to Rhysand, and I dont like or trust Rhysand at all, but imagine hearing that tragic story about how their families killed each other, leaving them as the only survivors and being like "I cant believe Tamlin killed Rhysands family!!" especially when its like, the only person Feyre actually knows Tamlin killed is Rhysands dad who sucked ass, its not exactly a great loss

I feel like i had a lot of thoughts about a lot of things in this chapter that I couldnt write down because theyre these abstract half-thoughts, so I think I'll let those marinate until theyre full thoughts and share them with you at some later date

[meowmeow-motherfucker]

Covenant- Chapter 1

Summary: With the five year anniversary of the attack on New York approaching, Odin and Fury come to the agreement that an arranged marriage between Asgard and Earth would show good faith toward all future interactions. When Odin refuses Jane’s candidacy, Agent Coulson is tasked with finding a suitable wife for the prince of Asgard.

Pairing: Loki x OFC Claire

Rating: E

TW: sexist language and themes, Odin's A+ parenting, Loki being a dick, trauma, mentions of torture

Read on AO3 here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/51197938

New York

The shrill shriek of her ringtone ripped through Claire’s silent bedroom. Groaning, Claire rolled over and buried her head under the pillows. She was supposed to be off today. Whoever was calling could fuck off. If she was going to be forcibly out of the field, she was going to milk it. She ignored the sound, determined to remain in her dark, warm nest as long as she damn well pleased.

The phone stopped ringing and Claire breathed easily, her scrunched features relaxing as she started to drift back to sleep. She turned to her other side, settling into the valley between her pillows and beginning to sleepily plan her lazy day. She’d treat herself to breakfast at her favorite diner, take a walk in Central Park, and inevitably end up at the bookstore. Later she’d pick up ingredients for dinner from the nearby corner store and get wine drunk while she watched Bob’s Burgers and then fall asleep reading her new book.

The ringtone shrieked again, the vibration now rattling the headboard. Claire growled again, grunting when the phone’s vibration caused it to fall off the headboard and hit her directly in the face.

Not even bothering to open her eyes, Claire reached up from beneath the blankets to answer the incessant ringtone. It took a few tries to grab her phone, as it got lost in the shuffle of blankets as if to taunt her, but Claire finally managed to answer the call with a grumbled ‘hello?’

“We need you to come in.” Phil said without preamble. There was only one reason he’d be calling her.

“Now?” Claire sighed, already annoyed she was still dealing with this. She’d thought she’d sent the Asgardian emissary packing at field day. She clearly wasn’t princess material and in her mind, Njord must have gone scurrying back to Odin to report all the ways she sucked. ‘She’s a beast, my lord.’ The Njord in her head cried pathetically. ‘She used foul language! She dared to say marriage is stupid!’ “It’s not even 7 am.”

“The emissary called another meeting and you need to be here. Please Claire; this is really important and I want you to have a say in this.”

“’This’ meaning that stupid arranged marriage bullshit? I’m pretty sure I already told you no.”

“Claire, please,” Phil sighed. “Odin is insisting on moving forward with the marriage. You’re the only option we have and the emissary wants to sit down with you to discuss the treaty in depth.”

“…what?” Claire wasn’t sure how to process that. “He rejected everyone?”

“Apparently he was impressed by your performance at field day, although he did say you were rude,” Claire snickered as she recalled the shocked look on the man’s face when she’d told him ‘abso-fuckin-lutely not’ when he’d asked her to meet with him. “He also mentioned that whoever we send will be marrying Thor.” Phil added.

“Oh hell no!” Claire yelled, shooting up into a sitting position. “No way; I will NOT marry Thor! God that’s gross on so many-”

“If you don’t like it, then get down here and say something! The emissary looks like he’s fifteen for God’s sake; yell at him enough and he’ll cave.”

“And then Fury will yell at me for making a child cry! Remember, I had to go to that stupid seminar last time?” Claire huffed angrily. “This is why I said no; I don’t have the patience for this crap.”

“You honestly don’t care that we’re discussing your future?” Phil asked.

“Bold of you to assume I can’t just disappear if I want to.” Claire replied dryly.

“Just get here. NOW.” Phil hung up, leaving Claire in the silence of her apartment.

~~~~

Claire arrived at Avengers tower in what seemed like the foulest mood of her life. Nerves were stewing in her belly, and she managed to propel herself forward by listing everything she currently hated. Stupid Fury. Stupid Odin. Stupid THOR- what self-respecting god of thunder let himself be pushed into a marriage? Her toe caught a chip in the sidewalk, tripping her up and making her scowl deepen. Stupid sidewalk. Stupid Uncle Phil for even getting her into this mess.

The receptionist greeted her from behind her little fortress as Claire made her way to the elevator and sighed as the doors slid closed.

“Mornin’ Claire,” Clint greeted her warmly as he dropped in from the ceiling. “How are you feeling today?”

“Hi Clint,” Claire said. “I have a meeting with Fury and some Asgardian dickwad to discuss-” she cringed. “Marriage. How do you think I’m feeling?”

“Yeah I heard.” Clint nodded, commiserating with her silently.

“Doing much eavesdropping lately?” Claire asked flatly. Clint shrugged. Claire figured the Avengers were privy to just about anything. “Why are you here anyway? Were you elevator surfing or something?”

“Nah. Saw you come in, thought I’d say hi.”

“Is this normal for you?” Claire asked as the elevator reached Fury’s level. “Y’know what; tell me later. I have to go make sure no one is pledging my immortal soul to Cthulhu or something equally archaic.”

“I’ve heard the Flying Spaghetti Monster is a forgiving master; in case you need a suggestion.” Clint offered. Claire snorted a laugh.

“Thanks Clint.”

“Anytime.” Claire stepped out of the elevator, turning back when she heard a clang. She saw the toe of Clint’s boot disappearing up into the ceiling of the elevator and rolled her eyes. Clint was nuts. The elevator doors closed and she started walking toward Fury’s office.

“Don’t tell me you started the meeting without me!” Claire called when Fury came into her line of vision. He was outside his office talking with her uncle, and both turned to greet her.

“We’ve been stalling,” Phil said to her relief. “Our friend is losing patience, so we should get to it.”

“Thank you for coming. I don’t want you to feel left out of this decision.” Fury offered her a tight grin.

“That’s why you already invited the guy, right Nick?”

“Odin sent him; I can’t just send him back without talking to him. You know the protocol, Agent.” Fury said sternly.

“Doesn’t mean I have to like it,” Claire snapped. “It’s 2017 and you two idiots thought it would be okay to make this decision for me.”

“Nothing is set in stone,” Fury replied calmly. “We only pitched our agents as options because Odin refused to allow Doctor Foster to take part in the alliance. We didn’t make him pick you.”

“Doesn’t matter! I never said a fucking word about being interested in this archaic bullshit and yet it’s now become a problem I have to deal with. I don’t get paid enough for this-”

“Okay, that’s enough,” Phil cut in. “We’re not going to talk about it anymore. You’re here; that means you go into that room with us and help us work out a deal that makes you happy,” At Claire’s droll look he frowned. “Happier than you are at the moment,” He hedged. “At least hear what he has to say.”

“Fine.” Claire grumped, following sulkily when Fury and Phil led her to the meeting room. Maria Hill sat inside at the long conference table, along with Thor and a young man wearing leather armor and a pouty look on his face.

“Gentlemen, thank you for waiting,” Fury said as they entered and took seats. Fury sat at the head of the table, and Claire sat next to Phil, opposite Thor and Pouty-Face. “This is Claire, one of my agents here at S.H.I.E.L.D.”

“Ah yes! She has agreed?” Pouty-Face asked doubtfully.

“I’m actually here to discuss some concerns with this treaty,” Claire replied diplomatically, trying to make a somewhat good impression. Pouty-Face made a motion for her to continue. For looking so young, he was perfectly coiffed and composed, looking down his nose at her. “I would like to read the proposal before we go any further please.”

“You are not aware of the offer?” Njord asked. “Perhaps you should have met with me when I asked.”

“I’m a firm believer in reading the fine print,” Claire said as Maria slid her a copy of the current proposal.“

“My king extends a most generous offer. Whomever we select will be given Idunn’s apples to extend their life span, receive a lavish lifestyle with anything and everything you could desire, servants, wealth…”

“Babies,” Claire stabbed a finger at a blurb of text. “Whoever goes would be required to have babies?”

“Children are an expected outcome of any union, Lady Claire.” Claire felt dread settle in her stomach like a stone. How in the hell would she navigate that? She’d never given any thought to having rugrats, and now the choice was being made for her? Fuck that.

“Okay, you know what? Shame on all of you. You and you-” she pointed at Njord and Thor in turn. “I can almost give a pass for this. You come from a different culture where women don’t seem to have much choice. But here we do. So the rest of you assholes who decided MY reproductive future can get fucked.”

“Agent-”

“Fuck you, Nick! Forget about me- any woman should have the right to make this decision. What if I couldn’t have kids? What if I didn’t want them; too bad?”

“Are you unable to bear children?” Njord asked. “If you are that would disqualify you from participating.”

“I don’t know, I’ve never tried,” Claire scoffed. “I have a dangerous job. I’ve made every effort not to get knocked up.”

“We would need assurance that you are capable of producing children.” Njord said haughtily.

“Okay first of all, I have other things to offer besides my eggs-”

“Without children, the alliance would break down within a generation,” Njord argued. “This is not only for your people’s current population, but the population going forward. This is a great honor!”

“This is fucking dumb, is what it is. Seriously, arranged marriage is how we agree not to kill each other-”

“If you wish to mock our traditions, you may leave.”

“Why, so you can con some girl off the street into this?” Claire scoffed. “Oh wait, I forgot- you already rejected all the other options!”

“Why don’t all take some time to cool off and come back?” Fury suggested, cutting Claire off before she could dig herself a deeper hole.

“Indeed.” Njord said curtly. Claire shoved away from the table, breaking out into the hallway with an angry growl.

“So obviously that could have gone better-”

“Did you know whoever they picked was gonna have to have babies?” Claire rounded on Phil.

“Not fully-”

“But you had a better idea than I did! Are you kidding me with this shit?” Claire hissed. “It’s 2017, Phil, how in the fuck would you think it’s okay to force a woman to have babies!?”

“It’s shitty, I know,” Phil held up his hands in defense. “This is their culture you’re stepping into. It’s not as forward thinking as it is here; it’s going to be a shock. It’s going to be a challenge for you.”

“Why am I even here, Uncle Phil?” Claire asked. “I’m not this person. You know me. I’m not a timid little girl who’s going to be subservient and follow behind somebody for the rest of my life.”

“But you see the bigger picture. Think of the impact you could have there-”

“What impact?” Claire scoffed. “You heard the guy- the biggest impact I could have is by having a productive cooch.” She kicked a trashcan, sending the contents fluttering along the pristine floor. An agent walking down the hallway sneered at her, skittering away in fear when Claire hissed at him like a cat.

“Okay yes, it’s a downside. I know kids were never in your life plan. But there has to be more.”

“And what if there isn’t? What if I agree to this, and my shiny new life is a shit show?”

“It’s a big risk. But I know you’ve always wanted to help people. It’s part of why you joined S.H.I.E.L.D. in the first place. If you do this, and you go to Asgard, you could do a world of good for people there and here. Of course it’ll be different than you’re used to, but you would have power and influence you don’t and will never have here.”

“Yeah, but...is that worth what I’m giving up?”

“I can’t decide that for you,” Phil said sympathetically. “Take a couple minutes and think about it.” he patted her arm before leaving her alone in the hallway.

Claire stalked off in a huff, anger boiling in her veins. She wound up in a small break room that was mercifully empty. She sank into a chair with a sigh, trying to calm down enough to be logical.

Problem one: she had to have babies with whichever prince she married. Babies meant sex, which Claire was a fan of, but having babies often took more than one try. It wasn’t like Thor wasn’t nice to look at, but there was zero chemistry between them. They were friendly, but it was like a flat soda.

Claire wasn’t signing her life away for lackluster orgasms and no fizzle.

The door opened and Claire’s head shot up to see Thor. He offered a grim smile as he sat across from her at the table.

“Lady Claire I understand you have reservations about this,” he began. “But I give you my word- I would do everything in my power to make you happy.”

“I don’t doubt that,” Claire waved off his concern. “But tell me the truth. Would you want to have babies with me?”

“No,” Thor shook his head. “You are a fierce and skilled warrior, and I have no doubt you would be an excellent mother, but-”

“You don’t want to sleep with me.”

“I do not.” Thor said apologetically. Claire laughed at his stark reply.

“The feeling is mutual, dude,” she cackled. “I really don’t understand why your dad won’t accept Jane. It’s the obvious solution.”

“He feels that her background is not…” Thor paused, drumming his fingers on the formica tabletop. “Conducive to the hardship of ruling, is what he said.” he offered a sarcastic smile.

“That’s dumb. Jane is one of the smartest people in the world.” Thor brightened, his smile widening as he nodded. “So obviously, for me to take part in this, I couldn’t marry you. I may not know the two of you very well, but it’s clear that you care for each other, and I’m not in the business of busting up happy couples.”

“I thank you for your consideration. I fear it is something another person may not think of. This kind of offer...it tends to bring out the wolves.” Claire snorted. It was an incredible offer, and people could be greedy sons of bitches.

“I can imagine,” she said softly. “I’ll be upfront with you. I don’t think I’m the right person for this. Sure I have the ‘background’ that your dad wants, and I made an impression at field day,” Claire rolled her eyes. Thor grinned at her air quotes. “But I don’t think I’m cut out for it. I’m too loud and opinionated and I would probably get sent home for pissing off the nobles.” Thor chuckled.

“You and my brother would get on well.”

“Loki?” Claire asked. “You think so?” Thor nodded.

“I realize your people have a very colored opinion of him, and for good reason,” Thor held up a hand to stop her interrupting. “He is misguided, of that there is no doubt, but he has a good heart.”

“And you think he’d go for something like this?”

“I do not know,” Thor shook his head. “Loki has never had a high opinion of marriage, but if it offers him a chance to leave his cell…”

“Right,” Claire sighed heavily, leaning back in her chair. “He’s been locked up since New York. He’s probably losing his mind. No offense.”

“None taken,” Thor replied swiftly. “He is not himself and has not been for some time, but when we were children...I could not have asked for a better friend.”

“And you think getting out of prison would help him be like that again?”

“Possibly,” Thor shrugged. “I do not want to make false promises. But you would be protected.”

“He is pretty hot,” Claire remarked under her breath. “What? I have eyes.” she said defensively when Thor gawked at her. Thor held up his hands.

“So the thought of fulfilling marital duties with my brother isn’t as terrible as it is with me?”

“Much less,” Claire admitted, laughing when Thor gagged. “I will leave that to Jane.”

“If this is what you wish, I will help where I can. But Njord’s words about our traditions still stand- it is an ancient law of the land that the eldest child must wed before the younger siblings can be eligible. My father will have to be persuaded to allow this.”

“All I can do is try right?” Claire asked. “And if your dad says no, I’ll bow out.” Thor nodded in understanding before he pushed away from the table.

“I will give you some time to consider our discussion.” he got to his feet, treading toward the door with an air of resignation.

“Hey Thor?” she called after him. He turned on his heel, arm braced on the door frame as he looked back at her. “If I do this...what am I getting myself into?”

“My brother may be misguided, Lady Claire, but he would treat you with the honor you deserve. You would want for nothing.”

“That’s great and all, but what else? I have freedom here, Thor. I have a life. If I sign on the dotted line, am I giving all that up?”

“There is freedom in being a royal, but also significant cost. You will always have duties, responsibilities-”

“But is that all there is? Having babies and...being ornamental?” Thor’s mouth twisted as he considered his words, pounding on the door frame with his meaty fist.

“I do not know the extent of the rules ladies are bound by,” he said softly. “But my mother has always kept herself busy with things outside her familial duties,” he offered a tight smile. “I shall inform the others you need a few more moments.” he left her alone again and Claire embraced the silence the eldest Odinson left behind.

She wasn’t lying; she did find Loki attractive. Who wouldn’t? The man had a face made for sitting on. Tall, dark and lean, the second son of Asgard was far more her type than Thor. Even though his countenance was gaunt in all the surveillance she had seen, she could see the razor sharp cut of his cheekbones. The elegance in his strut. The long tapered fingers of his large hands.

Claire shoved back from the table, figuring it was better to strike while the pan was hot. She walked back slowly, listing the reasons a marriage to Loki could work better than a marriage to Thor. They did have commonalities: daddy issues, anger issues...they were both clear-cut Slytherins. Having sex with him would not be a hardship. She was still not fully sold on having babies with anyone, but Loki seemed a better prospect overall than Thor. Claire knew she’d be miserable with Thor.

At least with Loki there was hope.

“There you are!” Phil crowed as she came around the corner. Thor, Phil, Fury, Maria and Njord stood clustered in the hallway waiting for her return.

“May we continue?” Njord asked.

“Let’s hit it.” Claire agreed, walking back into the conference room.

“Have you had time to consider the offer?” Njord asked as they all returned to their seats.

“Just to be clear, the proposed alliance would be conditional upon my marriage to one of Odin’s sons; is that right?”

“You are correct Lady Claire, however the All-Father has decreed that the chosen Midgardian maiden would wed his eldest son, Prince Thor.” Pouty-Face gave a polite nod to Thor.

“Uh huh,” Claire nodded, scribbling Thor’s name from the paper and inking Loki’s name instead. “I’m not interested.”

“I’m afraid I don’t understand,” Pouty-Face replied, looking over at Thor nervously. “Prince Thor would make a fine husband- you would want for nothing-”

“Look, I know Thor. We’re friends,” Claire looked at Thor, who offered an encouraging smile. “But we’re not that close. And I can’t agree to marry him when he’s already involved with someone.” She added, glancing back over to Thor.

“I have also expressed my concerns about being forced into this marriage,” Thor said diplomatically. “I understand that my father is anxious to see this through but I cannot in good conscience abandon Jane to marry another.”

“It has already been decided!” Pouty-Face said crossly. “Lady Claire and Prince Thor will be married-”

“Listen, dude-”

“Njord.”

“Whatever!” Claire huffed. “I’m not marrying Thor. The person who should be in here would be a far better candidate in my opinion-”

“Lady Jane was not selected by the Allfather. He feels that someone with your skills and experience working under Lord Fury, would be a more suitable companion for his son.”

“I’m NOT. MARRYING. THOR!” Claire enunciated angrily.

“Lady Claire,” Njord said with false patience. “As I said- per our traditions, the eldest son must marry first. Even if the Allfather were to allow Thor to not take part in the alliance, your only other option would be the war criminal Loki,” Njord counseled. Claire had expected to hear his name at some point, but the venom in Njord’s voice threw her off. “Knowing his past deeds, could you truly accept this arrangement with him?” he questioned doubtfully. Claire paused, tapping the pen on the tabletop as she thought. Loki was the far more attractive option to her, but Njord’s hostility just mentioning him made it obvious that people did not like him. Would they hate her for marrying him?

“Claire?” Phil nudged her from the side, drawing her from her thoughts.

“I want to circle back to the part about babies.” Njord looked like he wanted to reach across the table and shake her.

“While it is true there is a burden to produce heirs for the line of succession, Prince Loki is second in line for the throne and would only become eligible to rule if Prince Thor should abdicate or the Allfather were to become incapacitated.” he replied coolly.

“So is that a definite requirement?” Claire pressed. “You didn’t exactly answer my question.”

“Yes, Lady Claire, it is a requirement,” Njord sounded like a parent trying to explain to their destructive child why they couldn’t stick forks in a toaster. “Knowing this, do you consent to marry prince Loki and fulfill the provisions of the alliance?” Njord asked. Claire’s heart beat a wild rhythm and sweat made the pen in her hand slippery. Hekate help me. Please don’t let me be walking into a lifetime of misery.

“Yes,” Claire said softly, clearing her throat. “I consent.” She repeated loudly, making the tension in the room dissipate.

“And if my king is unconvinced?” Njord pressed.

“Look, he wanted to form an alliance with my planet by marrying one of his sons to someone who wasn’t Jane. I’m Claire; have we met?”

“I was simply asking-”

“He’s getting two out of his three terms. I know for a fact I’m your only option. You rejected everyone else. So if I walk, you have to repeat this circus all over again. Since he’s anxious to see this through and soon, I’d say that’s the best deal he’s going to get. He can take it or leave it.”

“Indeed,” Njord agreed. “Very well, I shall inform my king and he will come to a decision. We will have an answer for you in a fortnight.”

“Fantastic, can’t wait,” Claire replied, getting to her feet and stalking out of the room, Thor hot on her heels. Jane sat outside the conference room, wringing her hands anxiously as she waited for them. “Hey Jane.”

“Hi,” Jane sniffled, launching herself forward to wrap Thor in a hug as soon as he cleared the door. “What happened in there?” she asked, scanning each of their faces as the room emptied. Fury and Maria herded Njord toward the exit to see him off.

“I said I didn’t want to marry Thor.” Claire said, her eyes following the group as they walked down the long hallway.

“So does that mean you’ll be marrying Loki instead?” Jane asked with a mix of hope and concern. Claire didn’t fault the scientist for the hopeful look in her brown eyes.

“It’s too soon to say,” Phil replied for Claire. “We made our counter-offer; now we wait for Odin’s reply.”

“How long will that take?” Jane asked Thor.

“Father will give us a reply in two weeks’ time.” He answered worriedly. “Claire clearly stated she would prefer to marry Loki; we have to hope that Father will honor that.”

“But doesn’t Loki have to agree also?”

“If Odin offers him a way out of prison he’ll probably take it. I know I would.” She added at Thor’s nod. Jane frowned, clearly unconvinced.

“But if he doesn’t…”

“If he doesn’t, I’ll back out. I might be a dick, but I’m not going to split you guys up.” Claire said. Jane launched herself at Claire, pulling her into a tight hug.

“Thank you,” she said wetly. “This has been a nightmare. It helps to know we have someone else on our side.”

“No problem,” Claire said, patting the scientist on the back. She’d be a mess if she were in Jane’s shoes. “I should probably go. Maybe get a jump start on packing.”

“Oh sure,” Jane released her. “How are you feeling about all this? I mean...I’ve never met the guy but I can’t imagine what he’ll be like-”

“I’d rather not dwell on it until Odin accepts the offer,” Claire cut her off. “I’ll see you guys later.” She was getting so drunk tonight.

~~~~

Asgard

Njord made haste to the throne room as soon as he arrived back in Asgard. The events of the meeting with the Lady Claire churned in his mind as he crossed the bifrost and entered the city, winding through the curving streets toward the looming golden palace.

She had a keen mind, this Midgardian. While others had more pleasant manners, they lacked Lady Claire’s strength and cunning, which he’d seen in spades at S.H.I.E.L.D.’s so-called ‘field day’. Njord still did not understand why they called it that- they had not competed in a field at all! Instead they had played supposed war games with children’s toys on an open pitch, held foot races, and held contests to see who could jump the furthest or climb the fastest. It was a mockery of the arduous training Asgardian soldiers underwent.

His personal feelings aside, he could not overlook Lady Claire’s results. Consistently, she outshone her competitors. Manners could be assimilated. Her sharp tongue could be bridled. But her drive could not be taught. Therefore, as much as it pained him, she was the best candidate.

The Einherjar outside the throne room allowed him entry immediately, and Njord stepped inside to deliver his report.

“Ah Njord!” Odin called as he walked toward the dais. “What news do you bring from Midgard?” he asked.

“My King,” Njord knelt before the throne, placing his fist over his heart. “I have done as you asked. I have selected a maiden to join the royal family.”

“Excellent. Rise, and tell me what you have learned.”

“The negotiations with Midgard are going well, but the maiden S.H.I.E.L.D. is offering is…most unusual, if I may speak plainly.” He rose at Odin’s gesture.

“In what way?” Odin asked interestedly.

“She has consented to the treaty, but was quite adamant in her refusal to marry Prince Thor.”

“Did you explain her other option?”

“I did, Sire, but it did not sway her.” Njord shook his head. Odin pursed his lips in thought, settling back against his throne.

“And what of her carriage? Her mannerisms?”

“While I was selecting candidates, S.H.I.E.L.D. conducted what they call a ‘field day’, in which I witnessed the candidates compete against each other. The maiden I have selected bested all of her competitors. She is a commoner and would greatly benefit from lessons in deportment, but she seems sure of herself and she is a decent, if not aggressive, negotiator. Where Jane Foster is weak, she is…forceful. Strong-willed. She seems convinced you will allow her to wed prince Loki.”

“Why is that?”

“In her words, you are getting two of the three provisions your proposal contains and as you are eager to strike a bargain, you will be hard pressed to argue over which son she weds.” Njord responded, dreading his king’s reaction. The mortal woman couldn’t know this, but her rash words could cost the entire treaty if they offended the Allfather. To his surprise, Odin barked out a laugh.

“Such insight for a mere mortal. I daresay she will make an excellent match for Loki. Come,” Odin got to his feet. “You will accompany me to the dungeons- the prince will surely want to know about his future bride.”

~~~~

The dungeons beneath the palace of Asgard were hidden away, desolate and deep underground. One had to traverse an intricate maze of corridors to even reach them- a defense mechanism in case of a prisoner escape. That alone used to be enough to prevent Odin from worrying- but with the imprisonment of the second prince, more security measures had been employed. Odin had woven his own magic into the construction of heavy doors- only those he allowed may gain entry and exit. Should the disgraced prince have been clever enough to escape his cell, he would not have been able to get far.

Odin had not seen the prince since he had been brought before him for sentencing. Loki had shown no remorse for his actions on Midgard; even daring to ask the queen if he’d made her proud.

His arrogance had radiated from him like poison, and so Odin had felt no remorse in sending him to the dungeons to while away his days.

Odin was wise to Frigga’s habit of sending a duplicate to see the prince, as well as books and whatever else she thought would appease him. Odin had no such compunctions. When a child misbehaved, you did not coddle the child. You corrected it.

Njord trailed after the Allfather as they descended beneath the palace, traversing the labyrinthine corridors to reach the prison. At last the entry point came into view, breaking up the monotony of the long, windowless corridors. Two guards stood sentry on each side of the heavy door, both men placing fists over their hearts in salute to their king as they approached.

The men opened the heavy door without question, allowing Odin and Njord to enter. A steep staircase led them deeper underground, where another pair of guards waited at the bottom. They too greeted their king with fists over hearts, one guard nodding reverently before turning on his heel to lead Odin to his destination.

After all, their was only one prisoner Odin would deign to visit himself.

Prisoners shout and jeer as Odin and Njord pass. Some throw themselves upon the effervescent walls, pounding upon it with their fists as they beg as for release, curse their existence, or both. One prisoner rips off his shoes and throws them, striking the wall directly where Odin’s head passed by.

“Something terrible must have happened to warrant a visit from you, Allfather,” Loki hissed as he spied Odin approaching his cell. “It’s been far too long, and yet, not long enough.”

“Your barbed words will not incense me, Loki. I come bearing an olive branch.” Odin said. Loki scoffed, snapping his book shut.

“What can you possibly have to offer me? If I was meant for the axe it would have been swung ages ago.”

“I am negotiating an alliance with Midgard’s forces. They have agreed to arrange a marriage per our traditions and I had originally planned for Thor-”

“Yes, Norns forbid Thor ever have to make a sacrifice,” Loki rolled his eyes as he set the book aside and pulled out a deck of cards. “So the golden son has refused…what of your treaty now?” he began to shuffle the deck, a disgusted sneer overtaking his features as he put two and two together. “This is why you’ve come- to entreat me to play husband!”

“Don’t flatter yourself so, Loki. Thor has accepted that he will wed the girl if I so decree. However…” Loki’s stomach turned sour as the Allfather trailed off. His grip on the cards tightened, the thin edge of the card slicing into the pad of his finger. “I have another idea entirely.”

“You would have me accept. Take part in your charade,” Loki dealt the cards, arranging them in piles and making an inverted triangle. “I still would prefer the axe.”

“I offer you a secondary proposition,” Odin held up his hand to silence his adopted son. “Accept your place in the alliance and I will release you from your prison. But your freedom will depend entirely upon the girl’s safety and wellbeing- should anything untoward happen to her, the alliance will be in ruins and you will return here for the remainder of your days.”

“That is hardly a choice,” Loki scoffed, turning away from Odin to begin his game. “Any fool would be inclined to do as you say for a chance at freedom.” he glances past Odin to the eavesdropping prisoner shouting he would do as Odin asked.

“But you are no fool, yes, I know,” Odin said flatly. “You would be restored to your title and place in our family as well.” Loki picked up a card and moved it to another stack, flipping the card beneath face up.

“How enticing.”

“Regardless of your feelings for me, I know you care for Frigga. She misses her son. Marry the girl and you would be free to see her as often as you wish.”

“You oversell yourself, Allfather,” Loki glared at him, bending the cards in his hand and flicking toward the barrier between them in anger. “You’re desperate to see this done.” he added accusingly.

“It is a small price to pay for the good of my kingdom,” Odin brushed off the insult. “And yes, I am. Think well on my offer, and make a decision quickly. I may not be so generous tomorrow.”

“And if I refuse?”

“I could announce a death sentence instead of a wedding, if that is truly your wish.”

“I would expect no less,” Loki smirked as he collected the cards he’d thrown from the floor of his cell. “And you, I suppose, are here to extoll my future bride’s virtues?”

“If my king wishes.” Njord replied.

“I do. I expect a decision by midday tomorrow.” Clapping Njord on the shoulder, Odin departed; leaving Njord under Loki’s hostile gaze. A haze of green surrounded the cards before they flew back into Loki’s outstretched hand.

“Well?” the fallen prince asked sharply, settling in to resume his game. “What of her? Is she stupid? Ugly? Disfigured? I imagine she isn’t much to look at if Thor refused her hand.”

“Neither, my lord. She is rather attractive…and carries herself well. She is a skilled warrior, though she does have a sharp tongue, and a bit of a temper.”

“And she refused Thor’s suit?” Njord hesitated- the Lady Claire had indeed refused Thor’s hand and forced the Allfather’s hand, but the official story was different.

“The Allfather thought His Majesty would serve better under the alliance,” Loki’s lip curled at the formal title. It only served to mock him in here. “The Lady Claire consented to the treaty, but argued that Lady Jane would be a far better candidate than herself. Perhaps she thought to spare them the pain of being separated.” Njord added nervously.

“Then she is a fool. Noble, but a fool nonetheless,” Loki sneered as he cleared a stack of cards and set them aside. He tapped a card on the table dismissively as he thought. “Or blind. I’ve never known a woman to refuse Thor. If that is the case, she must be damn near insufferable,” Loathe as he was to accept, Loki could admit that he was curious to meet the woman who rejected Thor. At the very least, she could be somewhat reliable for companionship. Norns knew it would be nice to be free of his wretched cell. To be in his own chambers again… “Leave me.”

“What shall I tell the Allfather?”

“He gave me until tomorrow to consider his inane suggestion, did he not? Tell him I am doing just that.” Loki spat, muttering darkly under his breath as he turned back to his game. Njord disappeared from his field of vision rather quickly, leaving Loki alone once again.

What in the nine was Odin thinking? Hadn’t arranged marriages fallen out of fashion eons ago? They still happened of course, but not nearly as often. So why this marriage, and why now?

Why him? Hadn’t he suffered enough in the name of his so-called family? He should refuse; Thor could bear the burden of responsibility for once.

The fact that this woman refused Thor however…it intrigued him. Did that mean she chose him over Thor? Loki could not remember anyone apart from Frigga actively choosing him for any reason. Perhaps it would be tolerable.

But he was loathe to agree, if only to spurn Odin. Five years he had languished in this damn cell without so much as a word and Odin expected him to jump at the first opportunity? Damn him.

~~~~

New York

Claire was startled awake by the loud ringing of her phone. She groaned angrily and reached behind her to fumble on her night stand for the offending device. She’d learned not to put the phone on the headboard. Nabbing it with her fingers, she brought it in front of her face and swiped to answer the call.

“Hello.” She said, her voice thick with sleep.

“We need you to come in,” Phil said in lieu of greeting. “The emissary from Asgard is back.”

“Aw man, Pouty-Face is back already? I was hoping he’d come down with a case of space amnesia but whatever. Fine,” Claire grumped, grunting in surprise when her phone fell from her hand and landed on her face. “’M’kay I’m up.” She mumbled.

“I’ll let him know you’re on your way,” Phil replied. “Hurry please.”

“Okay!” Claire hissed, throwing off her blankets and storming to her closet. “I’ll be there in twenty.”

“I’ll send a car for you.” Phil ended the call and Claire tossed the phone on her bed. She rummaged through her clothes and threw on yesterday’s jeans with her Alice in Wonderland tee. She quickly brushed her hair and sprayed some perfume before grabbing her jacket and cane and heading downstairs to meet the car.

~~~~

“Oh good, you’re finally here.” Phil said when she stepped out of the elevator.

“It hasn’t even been twenty minutes yet!” Claire protested as he grabbed her by the arm and steered her toward Fury’s office. He ushered her in and followed, closing the door behind them. Njord and Fury sat facing each other across his desk, papers strewn across the surface.

“Welcome back Agent,” Fury said as she sat in the chair to the far left, leaving Phil to sit between her and the emissary. “Njord and I were just discussing the final details of the treaty.”

“Super. What are they?”

“Firstly, it will please you to know that my king has agreed to your terms,” Njord said. “Prince Loki has agreed to the alliance as well.”

“I figured he would; everybody loves a get-out-of-jail-free card.” Njord looked at her quizzically.

“I don’t know what that means, my lady.” he said after a beat.

“Never mind,” Claire replied with a wave of her hand. “What else?”

“The Allfather has put forth a protection clause on your behalf, which we took the liberty of adding to the treaty. Prince Loki’s freedom will depend entirely upon your health and safety.”

“So if he puts hands to her, the alliance would be over?” Phil asked.

“The alliance would be ended and Prince Loki would return to prison for the remainder of his life.”

“Sounds easy enough,” Claire said. “I’m assuming that’s only in case of irreparable damage?”

“Claire!” Phil hissed.

“What? It’s a valid question,” Claire hissed back. “I just want clarification before I throw hands.”

“Don’t start please-”

“Do we need to work out a visitation clause or a schedule?” Fury asked, diverting attention from Claire’s ethical dilemma. “I’m sure Claire would want to come back and Phil would like to visit her in Asgard as well.”

“I don’t believe that is something the Allfather has considered,” Njord replied. “But this can easily be arranged, do not worry. Our seers have selected a date for the ceremony.”

“Already?” Phil asked. “When is it?”

“As Lady Claire will be permanently relocating to Asgard, the Allfather thought a fortnight would be enough time for her to pack her belongings.”

“Dude I’m right here; can you maybe not talk about me like I’m not?” Claire said combatively.

“My apologies, Lady Claire.”

“Sure. So when is the ceremony? Am I traveling to Asgard and then boom I’m married?”

“The ceremony itself will take place in six weeks. You will have two weeks to prepare your things for travel, and one month in Asgard to make all of your preparations and familiarize yourself with the palace and your duties.”

“And she’ll have her own room until the wedding?” Phil asked.

“Yes of course,” Njord nodded. “All the necessary arrangements shall be made for your accommodations, Lady Claire.”

“And what about Loki?” Claire blurted. “I get to meet him before the wedding, right?”

“You will get to meet your betrothed prior to the ceremony, Lady Claire. You will be chaperoned until afterward, upon which time the marriage will be consummated.”

“Right.” The tiny gouge in Fury's desk was suddenly very fascinating.

“It is tradition that the consummation is witnessed-”

“ABSOLUTELY NOT!” Claire shouted. “What is this, the Iron Age?!”

“Peace, Lady Claire. You will be pleased to know that the Allfather has agreed to forego the tradition. His Majesty Prince Loki shares your views on the practice.”

“Well thank god for small miracles,” Claire muttered angrily. “So now what?”

“I shall return in two weeks’ time to collect you and your things. I require your signature on this missive. This is not the treaty itself, but your pledge to fulfill the provisions which the Allfather and your government have agreed to.” Njord produced an honest-to-god scroll and handed it to her. Claire ran her thumb over the actual wax seal and unfurled it.

The writing was fancy, sloped cursive that Claire could barely read. Down at the bottom there was another wax seal and a scribble of ‘Odin Allfather’. Above that were two signature lines. One was blank and awaiting her signature. The other bore the scrawling, looping signature of her future husband.

Loki Odinson.

The scrape of glass caught Claire’s attention and she looked up from the scroll to see Njord had slid an inkwell over to her. He held out a quill for her to take. Claire stared at the quill for a moment before reaching out to take it. She dipped the quill into the ink and held it above the paper, unable to make herself sign it.

This shouldn’t be hard. She was getting what she wanted. Thor and Jane could have a happy life together now. She was marrying Thor’s hot, crazy brother.

This is what she wanted.

When Claire made a decision, she committed.

“Lady Claire?” Njord asked. A drop of ink had fallen onto the parchment and was beginning to dry. Claire took a deep breath, set the quill to parchment, and signed her name. She gave the quill and parchment back to Njord, watching as he sprinkled powder onto the scroll to dry the ink. The inkwell was capped and put away along with the quill. The scroll was rolled back up and vanished into the bag at Njord’s side.

“I do hate to rush off, but I must return to Asgard. There is much to be done before your arrival.”

“Okay,” Claire said quietly. Her entire body was trembling and a heavy pit of dread was roiling in her stomach. She had just signed away her entire life to make Jane and Thor happy; to keep her realm safe. She was trying desperately to focus on how satisfying it was to stick it to Njord and his smug stupid face, but she wanted to run out of the room and cry. “Great.”

“Excellent. I shall see you all in a fortnight.” Njord said cheerfully. He left quickly with Maria and Fury, leaving Claire alone with Phil.

“Are you okay?”

“Great.” Claire said hollowly, wrapping her arms around herself. Phil leaned over the table, putting a hand on her arm.

“I’ll help you pack. It’ll be alright.”

“FUCK!” Claire shouted after a moment; brutally, painfully aware of how drastically her life was about to change. “I’m such an idiot.”

[thorne-antics]

I'm convinced that Sokka and Callum are the same person in different universes, for some reasons that are obvious and for some that aren't so obvious.

Of course we have the fact that they're both voiced by Jack DeSena and fell in love with girls who have a connection to the moon, but it doesn't stop there.

Both started off doubting their younger sibling for a particular reason until realizing the error of their ways. (Sokka being sexist to Katara, Callum not listening to Ezran because he thought Ezran was just making up stories because he's a little kid)

Both live in magical worlds where some people are able to wield the magic, for good or for bad.

Sokka isn't counted in some things because he can't bend an element, and he exasperatedly insists "I can still fight!" And Callum faces the similar struggle of having powerful magic users assume he is incapable because he's a human, but he proves that being a human doesn't stop him.

Both have an episode or more that is very focused on this specific character learning/honing their abilities/proving themselves.

Both are artists/notably creative individuals.

Both have suggested a trip to a legendary library and ended up in danger by staying at that library too long. (Someone else noticed this so I can't take the credit for that but I do think this is important to the point I'm trying to make)

Both are shown going fucking insane for their girlfriends (Sokka yelling "where is Suki" as he throws Azula against a wall, and Callum's furious scream as he punches Finnegrin in the face for hurting Rayla)

Both went to great lengths to save their girlfriend who was being held as a prisoner (Sokka teaming up with Zuko and breaking Suki out of The Boiling Rock, Callum doing dark magic to escape his chains so he could stop Finnegrin from throwing Rayla into the mouth of a sea monster)

Both serve as a comic relief character. One is also a main character but he remains the silly goofy guy.

Both have a large flying creature as basically a chauffeur.

Sokka is from the water tribe. Callum has learned the ocean arcanum, allowing him to do water-related magic.

Also, Sokka says at some point "y'know back in my tribe I'm kind of like a prince myself" to impress Yue... and Callum literally is a prince.

And just for the sake of pointing out another similarity, they both have brown hair and their color palettes include blue.

I'm done now. Thank you and goodnight.

[cawareyoudoin]

NOOO VAN HELSING YOU WERE DOING BETTER!!! JUST INVOLVE MINA FOR FUCK'S SAKE GODDAMIT, STOP BEING SEXIST AAAAAAAAAH

Mina, I love you and you deserve better.

[blindmagdalena]

Maybe this is self indulgent but imagine Homelander with a girlfriend who is a bit on the thicker side. I think because he’s portrayed as being this kind of sexist and misogynist in the show, (at least in my mind), he’d always go for the skinnier girls. But imagine he ends up falling for this chubby girl and he’d never admit it but he secretly loves having a little more to hold and squeeze and when they snuggle he likes to put his hands on their stomach to keep them warm or he likes gripping their thighs or resting his hands on their chest :’)

my darling, this is all for the sake of self indulgence.

personally i LOVE Homelander being ravenous for heavier ladies. thick thighs to rest his head on, plush hips to hold, the whole nine yards. nuzzling into a nice pair of soft heavy breasts?? please, he'd be in heaven. all the points i made in this post re: societal expectations and how he internalizes that shit still stands, and while he may get hung up on them initially, Homelander's ultimately not going to let ANYTHING stop him from getting what he wants. when you get right down to the core of it, i don't think he gives a shit about any of that so long as his needs are being met. the man craves warmth. softness. give him a pillowy girlfriend to be obsessed with kissing, snuggling against, holding in his arms without a care in the world because he fucking can. IMAGINE trying to brush him off with "I'm too heavy." his expression would do BACKFLIPS. "Babe. I'm Homelander." tbh, most of the times when i'm writing fic, i DO have a thicker reader in mind. maybe bc i myself an thick. i tend to avoid being overly descriptive when it comes to reader fic, but don't EVER be shy about including more specific characteristics in prompts/requests. i'm always happy to indulge. it's what i do. 🖤

[cosmicretreat]

Over on Reddit, there’s a lot of discussion about the breakdown of voter demographics, and every time someone realizes Gen Z males went harder than expected for trump, some Zoomer redpiller swoops in whining about “I got tired of being called a cis white male (derogatory) so I decided to do the most racist, sexist thing possible and alter the course of history for the next hundred years in the worst way possible FOR THE LULZ!”

It’s Comicsgate again, but with political power. It’s a generation of selfish stupid nihilist incels who were raised by manosphere YouTube nazis who kept telling them chicks won’t fuck them because of the 19th Amendment. And now these broccoli-haired bros are all over social media giggling about how they’re “embracing absurdity” because there’s no future and patting themselves on the back about “restoring the rightful order.” Because they couldn’t get dates and figured there must be some grand reasoning behind it. Really it’s just that they’re spewing PUA nonsense and thinking they’re owed submission. They cannot WAIT to take away your rights.

I studied history and sociology in college. People like me saw this coming for decades. The parallels to the period between WWI and WWII were uncanny. The road here was paved with people telling us to stop overreacting. And the Roganification of America steadily continued. Kimmel will have a lot to say even though The Man Show played a crucial role in getting us here. Almost thirty years ago I complained about the return of frat bro “boys will be boys” sexism. I called it Maxim Culture. People told me to calm down. And now a generation of incels raised by Maxim Culture losers into believing Me Too was a personal attack on their future are guffawing about how scared everyone else is. They think they’re going to be kings of the new world and not sent to die in trump’s wars.

They were raised badly. The Bush-Cheney years really dismantled education and crippled the power of teachers. When I was a teacher you could see the impossible limitations we were up against. It’s only gotten worse. Trump’s failure on Covid led to a lot of kids getting an irreparable gap where they were isolated and brainwashed by abusive algorithms that delivered them divisive rage bait. The richest country in the world can’t raise their own kids because wealth is concentrated in the hands of a very few.

We let this happen, but we didn’t know it was happening because we’ve been stuck on a hamster wheel of just trying to survive for most of my adult life. Now progress is in danger, peril seems inevitable, and prosperity seems like an impossible dream. The sheer force of apathy and the lack of urgency in dealing with even a single problem in America has led me to a pretty cynical mindset. I don’t think I’ll live very long through the coming destruction of what safety net we still have. Thank god I live in one of the few blue areas left.

Please love each other the best you can, and for fuck’s sake support each other. Stop mocking each other’s values and concerns and try listening. Be caring even when it’s hard to do because it’s going to be one of the best ways to fight the encroaching darkness. But also, maybe stop giving people the benefit of the doubt when they’re spewing fascism for years and years. We were not overreacting. We’re still not. You can’t just wait for this to blow over. Speak truth to power, shame the devils and eat the fucking rich.

Also, don't feel bad about cutting anyone out of your life who supported trump or any of his cronies. Don't feel bad about cutting out anyone who didn't take this seriously and didn't vote. You have no obligation to interact in your personal life with people who make you feel bullied and dehumanized. You're not being selfish, you're trying to survive.

[hindahoney]

Tbh even at my synagogue there's so much anti orthodox sentiment and it makes me really sad. We're liberal/progressive which of course means we generally don't always agree with typical orthodox values, we would go to an Orthodox synagogue instead of this one if we did, but I hear a lot of talk among our community that I find really disrespectful of Orthodox Jews! Things like blanket accusations of homophobia and sexism which just...isn't true if you even glance in the direction of all the queer Orthodox Jews that exist. I swear people just like to say "Orthodox is bad to gay people!!!!" and all the gay Orthodox Jews are like "uh no it's not, we're actually a huge influential part of the Orthodox community, you can't just ignore that we're here, and youre choosing to ignore all the work that queer Orthodox Jews have put in to make our spaces safe and accessible" and then others still go "it's so sad how no queers can thrive in Orthodox spaces :(( sometimes it's like I can still hear their voices"

It's very much not the same thing but for the sake of analogy, it reminds me of American queers who say shit like "The southern states are so homophobic there's nothing there for us this is so sad <\3" while completely ignoring that the south is actually full of queer people, some will live their whole lives in those places and aren't any less queer or influential there than elsewhere, and it's super homophobic to make statements like that. Like sure just go ahead and assume gay people in the south are all completely trapped and powerless and tragic and nonexistent instead of acknowledging that there are thousands of fully realised queer human beings there whose experiences shouldn't be swept under the rug to accommodate the popular narrative that South Bad.

Im not saying Orthodox communities never have issues with things like racism, homophobia, sexism etc, but like?? So do Reform and Liberal communities??? Stop pretending we're absolutely perfect while being so grossly antisemitic *to other Jews*. I've had encounters with transphobic Jews at my synagogue and while I was able to sort it out and get them to a place of understanding my upset and showing remorse and changed behaviour, it feels like people just want to ignore that this shit can still happen in progressive spaces, because it doesn't fit their narrative of Reform Good Orthodox Bad.

I considered going down a conversion route to become Orthodox a few years ago and didn't go through with it, but I did get to engage with my.local Orthodox rabbi and hoooooly shit it's been so saddening and eye opening the way every Orthodox Jew I've spoken to has, very early on, gone "don't worry I'm not sexist I promise!!" because they KNOW people are going to make horrible assumptions about them just based on their culture. Like fuck it tells a sad story about the way people including other Jews must treat them. Straight up antisemitic

I promise not all Liberal, Reform, progressive etc Jews feel negatively about Orthodoxy, it's just irritatingly common and I really heavily sympathise with all the shit you must have to go through. You aren't without allies but I don't blame you for feeling alone when this is how you're often treated.

(ik this isn't my blog but @ goyim: comment on this and i will bite your head off, this is a threat.)

Thank you for sharing your story. I by no means am saying I don't have my own qualms with orthodoxy, and things that I disagree with my community about. But that's okay, it's encouraged to disagree.It depends on who you ask whether they would call me orthodox or not, certainly more liberal Jews would view me this way. But out of respect for the orthodox community, I don't feel comfortable taking on that identity yet, but ultimately that's the goal. For right now I feel comfortable calling myself "frum."

It's incredibly painful when I see Jews throwing other Jews under the bus, because I take the term "tribe" seriously. When Cain asks HaShem "Am I my brother's keeper?" the Torah, and as consequence, the Jews, answered unequivocally yes. A Jew across the world that I've never met is, in my eyes and my entire soul, my family. So when I see my family fighting with each other over complete misunderstandings that could be solved if we just listened more, it hurts.

I feel like when people see me they assume I'm socially backward, as if there's no way I can square my religious beliefs with acceptance of LGBT+ people (as if I myself don't/can't identify as queer), or with women having a more involved role in services. They just assume we are a monolith, as if we're a group of worker ants that all operate and think the same exact way.

There are queer orthodox Jews who have made their space in orthodoxy. There are women who feel like they thrive in orthodoxy, who are NOT "ruled over" by their husbands, and are not forced to dress modestly, but choose it for themselves because they feel more comfortable that way.

[drinkthemlock]

under the cut is an “amor e medo” essay on álvares rant because it pisses me off but tldr: oh! years of untreated mental illness and looming inevitable death by consumption (on top of going through the ordeal of living in 19th century Brazil) took a toll on a young man’s abilities to relate to people? extremely shocking.

most ridiculous thing about that homophobic essay written about álvares saying that his writing was effeminate and “unvirile” and he was afraid of women and sex because he was “raised amongst skirts” is the fact that he absolutely was not raised amongst skirts. he deeply respected his mom and loved his sister greatly yes but he also went to all boys’ boarding schools, university, students’ lodgings, etc. basically navigating all-male spaces his entire life (despite the fact that spaces in Brazil at that time were not as gender segregated as we may think, esp. in Rio). like there’s literally zero evidence (that I know of) that he even had any female friends besides his sibling. also, to pathologize even the few relationships he had with the women he was related to is not only lame but feels really sexist in its core as well? like god forbid this sixteen year old boy be friends with his sister and trust his mother! he must secretly want to fuck them! and maybe, just maybe they played such a constant role in his writing because he… loved them? his elevating of his kinswomen with the purpose of tearing other women down and his possessiveness towards them is not necessarily evidence of oedipal inclinations, but of being misogynistic. which he definitely was. “oh, but there’s brother-sister incest in noite na taverna!” for god’s sake……. noite na taverna is the fucked-up-people-doing-fucked-up-things novel. the incest itself is not even romanticized! it’s rape! the sister kills her rapist later!

most of his writing is indeed about longing and love and unconsummated relationships but that’s because he’s a romantic poet. his style is unique in its execution, not in its themes. and not to play armchair therapist with a long dead teenager (but since the author of the essay already did), his personal letters reveal a difficulty in his relationships with people, full stop. women especially, yes, but most people in general as well. there are letters of his to Luís during his stay in São Paulo which are exactly about how he could not get close, how cold and unfeeling people think he is and how that makes him feel even more alone in the world. azevedo from rosaura (a book by one of álvares’ São Paulo friends that includes him and other law students as characters) is so bitter and cruel you would think the author hated álvares. how can someone who loved his friends more than nearly everything in the world (he literally says as much in the “my dearest” letter to Luís, which I’ve translated here if you’d like to read it) feel such an all-consuming loneliness? because he’s depressed! here’s the crux of it: his poems are all about those things i’ve mentioned earlier because 1. he’s a romantic poet following the style of the time and 2. because he was The Saddest Boy in The Whole Wide World. that’s literally it.

[bloody-teared-angel]

Shipping and Fandom used to be fun

Buckle up, long post incoming - will be speaking from my own experience.

My first ever fandom was Transformers. I joined it on Tumblr, I believe in....2013? And on Instagram, 2016-2017. I eventually go back in due to nostalgia so Idk how that fandom is in 2024 but back then it was the most welcoming fandom I could ever been in.

OCs were on the rise, ppl were interested in them, asking for lore even commissioning them themselves, asking permission if they could write about them - OCxCanon was also very popular and overall well received. Whoever made a new OC, they would get adopted into the fandom.

Generally speaking, ppl didn't care what you were shipping, everyone was in their own little corner, doing their own thing, respecting one another.

What I'm trying to say, you could ship the most unconventional ships and the general reaction would be: "Why?" "Idk, I'm having fun." Or "I found it intriguing" or "Because I can."

And that was it. No one pried anymore, no one demanded you spill out your trauma and acted like a moral police of what is acceptable in their eyes and what was not.

Ppl could be shipping Megatron with Arcee or Ratchet and no one would bat an eye, people were having fun - the same went for not liking a character. No one would accuse one another of being 'media illiterate'

"Why don't you like this character?" "Idk, I don't vibe with him." "Ok, cool."

And that was it.

Where I noticed it first would be BNHA/MHA fandom - that fandom is rotten beyond belief the last time I tried to enjoy it but the author made me drop it too with his decisions.

(On Instagram OCs were largely ignored and there was 'No Fun Allowed' type of feel which made me last about....2 months, while trying and giving it a chance)

Probably the biggest one would be Naruto - yes, I dislike Hinata and Sakura, along with NaruHina and SasuSaku but that's due to poor development and their respective fandoms. You were not allowed to say that the ships were poorly developed nor that the female characters are flawed, you were labeled as misogynistic and sexist and I don't know what else. You were not allowed to ship noncanon ship, otherwise the shippers of the canon ones would throw a tantrum in your inbox or notes.

Now that I think about it, HH/HB - Naruto - BNHA/MHA fandoms are.....strikingly similar in that regard.

With this post, some might call me a hypocrite and I won't blame you, I also had some level of immaturity back in the day, which I'm cringing and laughing over now.

There's also a reason I stopped joining most fandoms at the height of their popularity, for the people in those fandoms - most of the time - are riding that high and are almost impossible to talk to, any sort of criticism for said shows or characters are met with hostility, etc.

And listen I've been in the fandom during the woobification of MCU!Loki, I had my fair share of immaturity - i was a kid - now that I am older, I enjoy villains for the sake of being villains and fucked up stuff for the sake of fucked up stuff.

(I'm going to make a statement later down the line so be ready to unfollow, just a heads up - no, I'm not in any drama, just making something clear since I don't want to be perceived as a hypocrite)

Which brings me to HH/HB - why did I follow it at the height of it?

Because I was invested. I had hope.

I enjoyed the Pilot back in 2020, I sat trough entirety of S1 of HB until 'Mammon Special' which then caused me to drop it, due to becoming disinterest and fed up with the double standard and picky narrative.

I had hope, that HH would live up to its hype. It did not for me.

Then the allegations kept coming out and I had lost all hope, the fandom had a level of immaturity that made me turn away completely.

(And I've been there during the r*ylo hype, some of the stuff they came up with was abysmal)

What I'm trying to say that back then everyone was in their own little corner, doing their own thing and then I don't know what happened and it was just influx of 'Fun not allowed' type of things, that made fandoms less fun.

It might not make sense, so I'm open to civil discussions and questions.

(Oh, and, the HP fandom made me be prepared for anything, just saying)

[yumeirochaser]

watched macross: do you remember love?

okay i literally just watched this movie bc i hated the show and wanted to watch the (better) sequels. it is a very well animated movie, with exquisite art and aesthetics. and really good mechanical and character designs.....

but it's also a total mess. a very, very sexist mess.

like man the gender essentialism in this thing is off the charts. it's also kind of a michael bay movie since it's about the cool military otaku guy getting hot chicks except it tries to say Something about women and men and like. it's bad

it doesn't help that hikaru starts bland and nicer only to become a slimeball and misa joins on his assholery later and there's roy whose entire character is hating women but wanting to fuck them and ughhhhhh. hikaru even falls in love with misa in a sequence where she literally stays in the kitchen and starts acting like a trad wife playing house and making fake food in the ruins of a town. it fucking blows. like i don't want to be too negative but this movie is just so mean.

but there's. one character. who is the highlight of it all. the one and only lynn minmay. she starts already tired and disillusioned with the idol business and mostly sees hikaru as a way to cope with her depression and escape the pain. being a normal girl from a small place, in a world too big for her. she's too naive to be with this guy she just met and she has been drafted far from home to do this idol gig and this is like. way too much for someone like her. she has a fling with hikaru...and then she gets kidnapped by aliens who force her to kiss her abusive cousin. and then she gets separated from hikaru and waits for him....while he starts cheating on her with misa when they both fall into the trad family delusion in a deserted earth. and when she meets them again they treat her like shit.they reveal he cheated on her, and don't even try to comfort her until it's time to use her singing as a weapon to stop the war. she says selfish stuff but she also just feels so tired, esp since she was made an ambassador for the galaxy during this. hikaru treats her coldly too. but then she swallows her pride, pulls her pants, and decides to sing with all her heart for the sake of the world and the family that she no longer has. she gave up her youth, an after this, dissappeared in the end and became an idealized image.....she's so tragic....

minmay was the only character who overcame the fantasy she wanted to live in at the start. bc hikaru and misa actually like, don't like each other that much, they just like the trad wife and husband fantasy they have with each other. but minmay, who initially wanted to use hikaru as a fantasy to escape her miserable life as a naive idol coming from nothing in an unknown place, actually grew up and moved on. choosing to live in reality, even if it's not perfect...she still sings.....

i don't think this arc of hers was like, intended? bc in the end it is played in the text as her having a tantrum. but like. the reframing of her character as being depressed from the start combined with the context of the tv show and HIKARU CHEATING ON HER makes her feel really sympathetic. in the end, everyone won and got to live their ideal lives but her. she's not a little girl anymore, but a woman who has to live in the real world. i do feel later shows noticed this and retroactively made her tragic but like. damn. the fact that she was supposed to be in the wrong, and that she was hated back in the day like, says so much about the era and type of show this is. truly rancid. i'm glad she got reappraised and reframed as a hero later on.....minmay deserved better.

sorry for the word vomit i just feel a lot for her. she was treated so badly in this awful, awful film. i came out of this really loving her character and i'm glad later stuff recognizes that she was sympathetic and influential but like. god, this is just too mean. too awful.